#anyways according to her grading i did so bad that even if i did contest all the questions i could've gotten right

[kyuala]

god im so fucking angry

[thatlittledandere]

This isnt for the ask meme but can you nerd out about Trans Yosuke cuz actually im curious about the story you planned.

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE! Disclaimer though that I can’t claim any of this is even REMOTELY realistic, but these are the thoughts that inhabit my head and were not created to be shared so I’m not taking constructive criticism lmao.  It’s MY Yosuke backstory and I get to choose Also warning that I’m going to go into excessive detail.

Sooo when Yosuke was a little kid everyone figured he was just a tomboy. Some girls like superheroes and rowdy play and hate dresses, big deal. It wasn’t that much of a “problem” yet in elementary school, where kids wear their own clothes and are generally freer to do as they please. Some kids from other classes or grades may have even thought of him as a boy.

The name Yosuke comes from a character Yosuke thought was cool from a TV show he used to roleplay with his friends - you know that thing kids do where they pick characters to “be” and then do dumb shit. The group sometimes used the character names as nicknames even when they weren’t “being” them, and Yosuke especially liked it so much he started insisting on it at home, too. His parents eventually caved in to keep him from being insufferable, thinking it was just a phase, with no idea how much it actually MEANT for their kid. The name felt much more him than what his supposedly “real” one.

The problems started when Yosuke started middle school and was supposed to wear the girls’ uniform and be a “female student”. It was unbearable for him. He was incredibly difficult about it, went to school for maybe two weeks, and then refused to go. After a few more weeks of just... having someone bring Yosuke his homework and being unable to explain to the school why Yosuke was constantly absent, not understanding it themselves, the Hanamuras contacted a psychologist (or a psychiatrist; after all these years I don’t know what the difference is). After listening to what everyone had to say, they referred Yosuke to another professional - one that was more versed on transgender issues.

This one confirmed with Yosuke that the problem was that he really, really, REALLY didn’t like being seen or treated as a girl. Not that being a girl was bad; Yosuke liked girls and had friends who were girls; he just really really REALLY didn’t want anyone to think he was one. Like, seriously. Somehow it just wasn’t who he was. And the doctor understood, called Yosuke’s parents in, and handed them a booklet on the basics of being trans. She explained the concept, and how it’s been proven that those people are the happiest and healthiest when they’re being treated the way they want to.

And alright; maybe it sounded a little weird to his parents at first, but Yosuke seemed to perk up immediately after hearing that what he was going through was a real thing with a name and there were others like him. He was visibly relieved, and smiled like he hadn’t in months. So... they decided to go with it. I don’t know about the medical specifics but Yosuke got diagnosed with gender dysphoria and Mr. and Mrs. Hanamura contacted the school with doctor’s orders that he needed to be allowed to wear the boys’ uniform, attend gym class with other boys, and generally be treated as a male student. In my dream universe everything it nice and easy like that and Yosuke got through middle school with no more trauma than any other teenage boy.

The procedure was repeated when Yosuke started high school, and when he transferred to Yasogami. After middle school nobody knew he was any different from other boys, and that was that. Nobody at his old HS (excluding the faculty members who had to know) ever found out he was trans. Yu was the first person Yosuke properly came out to, trusting that he’d understand. And he did. Nothing in their relationship changed much, but Yu felt like he maybe understood some of Yosuke’s behavior and apparent insecurities a little better now.

The second person Yosuke came out to was Naoto (who isn’t trans in this specific headcanon universe for personal reasons I have no obligation to disclose. I respect everyone else’s interpretation and adjust my language accordingly when interacting). Yosuke visited her in the hospital once, alone. What her shadow said about wanting to be male struck a chord to him, and he just couldn’t leave her be without confirming that she at least knew it was an option. They talked about their experiences and everything’s good :) The conversation is more about Naoto lore and repeat of what I’ve written out so far so. Yosuke came out to the rest of IT after Naoto’s discharge and yeah maybe they did make some slightly insensitive remarks because boy these teens are insensitive, but they’d never seen him as anything other than a disgustingly typical teenage boy anyway so whatever, nothing changed. Not like any of them particularly WANTED to see him without clothes in the first place.

The beauty pageant and “miss” Yasogami contest can burn in hell for several reasons but making me imagine it triggered Yosuke’s dysphoria is one of them.

I’m skipping all Yosuke lore that doesn’t directly involve his transness so let’s seeee he started HRT somewhere in college at which point he’s definitely dating Yu no matter when they get together in the scenario at hand. I can’t bear to keep them away from each other for two years sdggsgh. Yosuke gets his legal documents changed at some point in his earl 20s I think. He keeps in contact with the doctor who originally diagnosed him all throughout this, and in the scenarios where Yu is nonbinary he directs them to her as well. And life after that is smooth sailing. Everything’s good and nothing hurts.

So yeah! That’s my personal “canon” for Yosuke. Many things about the P4 characters change according to the scenario I feel like exploring at that time but this is sort of like the canon backstory that I don’t really divert from. I don’t know how to make a TL;DR of it; thanks for suffering through if you did and please don’t yell at me.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#6 Kristy’s Big Day: Chapter 8

God, I really hate Karen.

So the first day of the BSC day care group is a success but then Karen goes and ruins it the next day. But you wouldn't be able to tell that from Dawn's entry in the BSC notebook. What a morning my group had - all thanks to Karen's imagination.

I'm noticing a pattern here. Every time Karen acts like an obnoxious, annoying, spoiled brat, the BSC just laughs, shakes their heads and blames her wild imagination! When with any other kid, they would complain about what a pain they were. DOUBLE STANDARD!

Ok, well they decide to take the kids out so they don't grow bored of hanging around the Thomases house all day. Hey, if they get bored, put them to work packing up the house and cleaning, since you have like two weeks to vacate! So they decide to all take little trips. Mary Anne takes the babies for a walk but she has the problem of cramming both babies in Beth's stroller. Mrs. Fielding didn't leave one? Though I guess it would look pretty weird, pushing two strollers at once. She finally remedies the situation by smushing Tony into Beth's lap, which does not sound safe at all, especially for the piece of crap strollers of the 80s. Eventually, Beth wants out (and I would too if I was a baby with another stuffed on my lap), so Mary Anne lets her toddle around next to them and you know how fast babies walk. So Mary Anne's occupied for the day with that.

Stacey takes her group to the park to catch minnows and...that's pretty much it. Some problems because Ashley's leg is broken, but she doesn't seem to mind. Also, I don’t know if kids from eight to ten would find catching minnows exciting but what do I know.

Claudia and Kristy combine their groups to go to storytime at the library. They pack bags of graham crackers and juice (yeah, try that at the library where I used to work) and diapers and toys and load the kids into David Michael's wagon and Mary Anne's old wagon. David Michael complains about them using his wagon because complaining is his other talent besides whining. They then head over to the Newton's, where Jamie joins them and Mrs. Newton breathes a sigh of relief because she now has time to go get the mail.

Dawn takes her group to the playground. And oh lord, this is going to be fun, just judging by Kristy's line here: Karen Brewer always seems to make things more interesting than usual. Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that. “More interesting” is code for “ruins stuff by being annoying.” And right away, she starts by telling David Michael and Berk that according to some “big kid” on her street, Martians are going to attack Earth at seven that evening.

Is this the same big kid that told her about Morbidda Destiny? If so, I hope someone gagged the bastard for putting these stupid ideas in her head. ARGH. Anyway, Dawn tells her that's stupid (well, in a nicer way than that. Dawn's bitchy, but not to the kids) but it's no use. Karen says the kid who told her is a big kid, in 8th grade. Of course, David Michael and Berk believe her. Kristy so gave Dawn this group on purpose.

Karen says the kid told her a lot of people know about this but they don't want to believe it. I guarantee this kid is also a 9/11 truther who thinks Covid is a hoax. And that JFK was murdered by a magic bullet. Also, Karen's really gullible, even for a six-year-old. Dawn tells them Martians are silly stuff (so ironic, considering she's Little Miss The Ghost of Jared Mullray is Haunting Me) and Karen insists it is not silly stuff.

They continue to the playground, the kids staring up at the sky. David Michael justifies the Martian thing by saying he saw them on TV. So, of course, they must be real. Dawn asks him if he thinks Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny are real because they’re on TV and David Michael says “No. But there might be Martians.” Dammit, kid on Karen's street, you unleashed a monster. Dawn once again reiterates there's no such thing as Martians but the kids say there are. You see where this is going.

The kids discuss what'll happen when they land and Dawn throws her hands up in exasperation. Wow, a babysitter losing their temper with a kid? Definitely an early book. But despite this being an early book, Dawn hasn't taken action against Karen. The kids keep scaring the shit out of each other, with talk of ray guns and spray guns (you know, guns that spray stuff so you can't move and they can bring you back to Mars) and Karen says UFOs are going to arrive. “Hundreds of 'em. All shiny and silvery.”

Did I mention I hate Karen? Because I do. And because she's the BSC Golden Child who can do no wrong and is always funny, cute, and imaginative, nothing happens.

Dawn, desperate for some distraction, pulls them over to an arts and crafts thing that's set up, with kids making puppets. It doesn't work because Berk asks David Michael if he can stay at his house and hide in the basement, because he doesn't know if his hotel has one. Dawn finally gets assertive and tells them to knock it off. Oh wait. She thought about telling them they weren't allowed to discuss Martians anymore, but decided that was too mean. I take back calling her assertive. Dawn, you're a wuss.

Dawn asks if they want to enter the puppet-making contest, then catches the kids whispering to each other. She tells them no secrets but Karen announces they're going to go swing, so she takes off with the others in tow. Dawn, completely oblivious, goes to find out about the puppet contest. A few minutes later, a little girl named Tina comes running over to Fran, one of the counselors. She's crying about Martians. Uh oh. Dawn marches over to the swingset to find Karen, David Michael and Berk warning the other kids about the Martian invasion.

One boy starts to cry and runs home, with others following him. Dawn, at this point, is pissed (I know, someone's actually angry at something Karen's doing). She orders them back to the puppet table, despite Karen's protests that she needs to warn everyone about the Martian attack. Hey Karen?

Everything's quiet for a bit, until a branch falls from a tree nearby and Karen shrieks that the Martians are coming. Kids scream in horror, run for the hills, cry for their mommy, all that stuff. Fran glares at Dawn and her group and Dawn apologizes profusely for what's going on. She offers to help find the kids, Fran tells her someone else is supposed to be at the playground soon and instead asks for them to get the hell out of here. And just like Elvis Costello from Saturday Night Live, Karen's been banned from the playground. Nice.

Dawn's really ticked off now. She finds her group hiding in a storage shed and takes them home. On the walk back, she gets off her ass and does some babysitting, scolding them for their behavior and giving them a talk about how they shouldn't scare the crap out of other kids. She also makes them promise not to talk about Martians anymore.

Thus concludes one of the very, very few times someone calls Karen out and yells at her for her bad behavior. A very rare occurrence indeed. Oh and Kristy throws in at the end how she's thinking of a special wedding present for her mom and Watson. What do you get for your mother and a millionaire? Hello there, Subplot That is Barely Dealt With.

[ihavenoconsistentname]

Lmao gotta repost it I did something and it fucked up the read more

Anyways 

Long ramble about SkillsUSA skip it if you dont have interest in reading this

So anywsays SkillsUSA Holy FUCK was it fun and I'm really excited for State and I'm so keen on getting to Nationals I worked so hard on my pin design I really love it I'm so proud of it and I'm confident with it much more now because everyone has been supporting me and saying they love the pin design and I've just been super fucking excited about it I was nervous as hell because I'm bad at speaking for more than like 2 seconds and I had to give a 5-7 minute speech on how I created my design and shit and I think I barely filled 3 minutes at district but practicing at meetings I got up to 4:45 at one point and I didn't fuck up too much when I spoke at district But I don't have that same room to make a damn mistake at State, I'm confident with my pin design but not so much my speaking so I need to work on that a bit, I caught myself when I was going to fast at the start, I tried to remember what to say, and apparently I did really good, the guy escorting me I told him on the way to the room that I'm not the best at speaking and when he left he said "And I thought you said you were bad at speaking? You did really good!" And I was happy!! I was glad I did good and I know I did good but I also know I can and should do better So I wanna work on that Afterwards when Mads and I were hanging in 7th period with Katherine, Kat even said SkillsUSA isn't about winning, you don't go to WIN, you go for the experience, you go for the challenge, you go to learn and improve and have fun and THAT'S what SkillsUSA is all about, and it really is!! Like, I said this in my speech for the judges: 6th grade me? Never would have done this shit. She never would have done this shit. 7th grade? He probably wouldn't either. He would want to, but he would back out on the idea and think nah I can't do that I'm too awkward and not skilled enough and he wouldn't even TRY to take the opportunity. Me now? I was fucking tired of it. I'm fucking tired of not being able to just have some DAMN fun with my interest and god dammit I was going to do this pin design challenge. I heard it and immediately I went to Mads and said sign me the fuck up for this SkillsUSA business and I went with her to the first meeting and I went to every meeting I could possibly go to afterwards and I fucking did it. I pulled through, I learned well enough how to speak or at least calm my damn nerves enough to speak, I learned how to use the computer software, I learned how to adjust my design according to feedback, I fucking learned things and I'm GOING to use my experience at district to grow and work on it so that I can win at State and go to Nationals and make everyone proud. But most importantly? I'm going to go and have some fucking fun with this. I'm gonna have the best time ever and I'm gonna try my best because god dammit everyone is proud of me, I'm proud of myself, I have some fucking CONFIDENCE for once. 6th grade me would have been like no no no i cant do this i cant, 7th grade me would have been like well that was because I had no competition, I'm not going to get any farther than this. But me now? I will practice and go to state and I WILL fucking win. I don't need to win 1st place in Nationals, but son of a bitch I am getting there at LEAST. I'm gonna overcome my fuckin speaking challenges, I'm gonna learn how to stay calm and collected, I'm gonna even try talking to the other contestants, I'm gonna maintain confidence, and I'm just gonna do my damn best. I don't want to get to Nationals without Mads and she doesn't want to get to Nationals without me, so dammit I am going to get there and I know damn well she'll make it to because she's amazing and I know she'll be okay with Thomas and Brandon, they'll pull through, they'll learn and improve just like I will. So that part is over now I just wanna talk about how much fun I had. I had so much fun today. We all did. Hezekiah won gold medal against Sase (who got silver) for job skills demo, Mads, Brandon, and Thomas won gold for team engineering, and I won gold for pin design. Hezekiah and Sase were the only two with actual competition out of the 6 of us, but we were all still proud of ourselves. So all of us are going to State (maybe not Sase but he technically still could because he got 2nd and if you get in the top 3 winnings you qualify to go to state and compete). After that we just have to win against the other middle school competition and we get to Nationals. But that aside again it was really fun. We did a few things. For one thing we had a lot of trouble with a vending machine- we couldn't get it to work and eventually Ms Hamilton was like alright come on we're getting actual food and we went over in the cold to get food from a little grill tent where they made hot dogs and burgers (which were actually plant-based ones and they were pretty damn good). Brandon had to yoink Sase's windbreaker from him because Brandon didn't have one (didn't need one) and it was cold af so yea. And Thomas' parents actually paid for us to all get food there so that was fucking amazing and he made sure to thank them on all our behalf for that. So we went back to the little vending machine lunch room and we talked about random shit I don't remember all of it but it involved stuff with teachers and all that. I also played minecraft and messed with bees, Brandon asked if I had diamonds yet and I didn't cause I just started the new world. After that we just went back over to the big room where the ceremony would be and we sat in the same uncomfy chairs as before, I played minecraft, they set out board games n stuff on the side, all that shit. (Before that tho we had all competed). After that I think we took some pictures, sat around for a while, eventually went to retrieve my board and binder from the room they kept it in, more minecraft, took a walk with Mads because our legs hurt from sitting down forever, came back and they had the ceremony, a lot of clapping for people we didn't know, extra clapping for each other (especially Hezekiah), after that we took a couple more pictures and got the fuck out, talked a lot in the car, went to Steak n Shake, went back to school, Mads and I just stayed in Ms Hamilton's room with Katherine the rest of the day, we talked about random stuff- Really fun today. It was the best damn day ever. Honestly. And that ties back to how SkillsUSA is about the whole experience you get to have. It's fucking amazing.

[evenstevensranked]

#27: Season 2, Episode 1 - “Starstruck”

Ruby desperately wants to win a radio contest to sit in on boyband BBMak’s recording session. Meanwhile, Louis finds an incredibly lucky penny and milks it for all it’s worth.

Wow, guys! Season 2 opens with the BBMak/Lucky Penny/Louis gets a makeover and looks smokin’ hot and Ruby develops a crush on him and I'm like "girl, same" episode!!! Let’s do this.

Alright, so within the first minute of this episode we learn that Ruby is absolutely obsessed with BBMak (a boyband that actually existed and is now unfortunately so irrelevant that some younger viewers of today assume they're a fictional band) and she’s trying to win a contest to go to their recording session when they come to Sacramento. She’s been listening to the radio on her pink, cheetah print walkman for hours on end trying to make sure she’s the lucky caller. Ren is concerned that her intense devotion may not be healthy.. but, Ruby insists she’s not obsessed with them. Her bedroom and behavior says otherwise: 

At school the next day, Louis ends up finding a lucky penny which leads him to experience the best few days in a row ever. It kicks off with him narrowly escaping death and his big history test being canceled due to their teacher’s monkey having babies. The usual. If you binge watch the show, like I’ve done more times than I care to admit, the first few seconds of this scene are shocking because Louis' voice is obviously deeper and he looks obviously older. Yet according to Disney logic we're supposed to believe he's still in 7th grade, lol nah. Maybe at least the second half of 7th grade... We've gone over this before.

Louis seconds away from potentially dying over a penny.

Like I've mentioned, Disney is notoriously bad at airing episodes out of order. So here, we get an episode featuring Ren’s old friend Nelson. The only issue is that this aired 6 episodes before Thin Ice, which is Nelson’s formal introduction. The only explanation I can think of for this is that the Disney execs thought the BBMak thing would make a stronger season opener and switched up the airing order after they were already shot sequentially. I guess they assumed, or hoped, no one would notice or care that there's a new character we've never seen before just chilling with the gang like BFFs lol. According to Wiki at least, Season 2 was aired horrifically out of order when you compare the production code to the number it aired in the season. Like, WOW. For example, this episode was shot as Episode 13. I think that says it all.

No wonder Louis seems so jarringly older in this episode. He’s totally younger in the episodes that were supposed to air during the front half of S2.

Anyway, both Ren and Nelson are concerned about Ruby’s wellbeing now. She has practically turned into a fanatic zombie. They approach her and she says “I haven’t slept. I haven’t eaten. Do you really think I wanna chat?” completely zoned out of her mind. Yeah, I’d be worried too. We also see that she’s not doing her schoolwork either. Her entire binder is full of BBMak, including this rather disturbing pop-up: 

Continuing his string of good luck, Louis gets to eat Principal Wexler’s extravagant birthday lunch for whatever reason and ends up winning a free fashion makeover courtesy of "Fruity Fruit Cocktail." ....ok. Tawny starts to get freaked out and Twitty simply says "I'm starting not to like you" which is understandable, because Louis is quickly slipping into another arrogant phase due to all of the luck he's been having.

Ren and Nelson give Ruby an intervention to stop her ridiculous obsession with BBMak and wanting to marry one of them. Why is this something that never goes out of relevancy? This is still happening today. It’s perhaps more relevant than ever with the rise of internet fandoms and socials like Tumblr. Teens are literally spiraling into genuine insanity over bands like never before. As long as there are teen idols, there will be teen idol fanatics. Can’t really go wrong with a plot-line like this. Ren tells her "You deserve a real life person who's gonna be perfect for you" - Ruby agrees and decides to turn over a new leaf.

The new and improved made-over Louis comes waltzing in, and just like that Ruby replaces her BBMak obsession with a Louis obsession. She’s just blown away by his beauty. Same, tbh. Y’all already know that I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH AND THIS EPISODE KILLED ME!!!! Now that I think about it, this very well might've been the episode that solidified my everlasting fondness for Shia LaBeouf.

This isn’t even overdramatic. Ruby is so me. 

Even Ren and Nelson tell Louis that he looks stunning! Well, “stunning” was Louis’ word, not theirs. They just agreed with his conceitedness, lol. Suddenly a bird comes flying into the house and lands on Louis’ shoulder. Of course, it happens to be Pecky -- a missing bird with a $50 reward. OF COURSE!

The next day, Ruby happily tells Ren that she has officially moved on from BBMak. There’s a new guy in her life! Ren is so excited until Ruby reveals the new object of her affection to her: 

Um, is this my room circa 2001 or Ruby’s? I honestly can’t tell. Also I would so buy that big’ol poster of Shia on her closet door. That thing has made a few appearances throughout the series. It’s kind of iconic looking, don’t you think? Maybe that’s just me... 

Just thought I’d mention: Ren asks her “How did you get these pictures?!” and Ruby explains “I downloaded them from the internet. Louis has a very interesting website.” Do I even want to know? Aside from the implied potentially disturbing content, part of me wishes Disney had some sort of interactive fake louisstevens.com website or something like Nickelodeon did with amandaplease.com! 

Tawny insists that Louis' lucky streak is nothing but “admittedly weird coincidences,” until Louis calls in to win the huge BBMak contest and......... wins. I love how he acts so blasé about it. The DJ is so excited and Louis is all "Eh.. What can I say? This whole charmed life thing is getting kinda old." Also, the DJ in this scene, who appears two more times in the series, was one of the many actors recycled for That’s So Raven. He played a news reporter on that show. Similar field. Huh. 

Ren believes that Ruby is simply rebounding with Louis and decides to show her his nasty bedroom to make her realize she doesn't actually like him. Ren also tells Ruby that he’s rotten and selfish, which... Is kinda true sometimes, oops. But at the same time, that scene always makes me a little sad inside. Louis is a good guy at heart, Ren!!

Just then, Louis appears in the doorway asking "What are you doing in my room?" and we get this incredible exchange:

(credit)

Louis then proceeds to very unselfishly invite Ruby to the BBMak recording session which only reinforces her crush on him. 

Okay. We finally make it to this darn recording session! Thank god. Louis might as well’ve brought his entire extended family because he brought four freaking people along with him like it’s some free for all. You usually don’t push your luck when you’re gifted something like that... but, oh yeah. Lucky penny. I freaking love this bit where Ren whispers to Ruby “Woo! He’s gorgeous...” referring to Christian from BBMak, and Ruby says “I know.......” in reference to Louis! LOL. 

Ren is so disgusted and once again Ruby is me.

Shia has been gorgeous in my eyes for nearly my entire life!!!!!!!!! Apparently I'm weird because I've seen so many memes about him that say things like "He was that ugly, weird kid on Even Stevens and then he magically became good looking" I'm just sitting here like??? Y'all are about 14 years late to the party.

Louis and Twitty get distracted by a table with free cheese on it, which honestly is the best part of any and every function or gathering. Not even gonna lie. While hanging around the cheese table, Twitty decides to seize the opportunity and give BBMak an Alan Twitty Project demo tape of “Sacramento Girl.” (YESSSSS!) They lie and say they’ll check it out — but immediately stuff it under a block of cheese. As a musician, I can confirm that this is too real. It’s impossible to get successful/established artists to take you seriously. I met Fall Out Boy at a local radio junket once and slipped Pete Wentz a demo. I never heard anything, sooo... It stings to know that he most likely hid it under some cheese the second I left. 

BBMak are looking for a ‘Sacramento sound’ (whatever that is) and encourage Louis to play some tambourine on their track! They tell him “If this works out, you could come on tour with us!” If only it was that easy to land a national gig in real life. Ruby mentions in passing that she needs to tell Louis how she feels, and TAWNY IS NOT HAVIN’ IT! Omg. She kinda gets jealous of Ruby’s crush and they start a small argument over him. Ren cannot believe what she's witnessing and I love it. Also, Christy looks fantastic here? Whoever did her hair and makeup: Good job!! wow!

Unfortunately, Ruby’s attraction to him is short-lived and comes to a screeching halt the second Louis loses his penny during his tambo solo, jumping around like a lunatic with no rhythm. (Again, HOW does he become a drummer later on? It’s a mystery.) It’s very subtle, but you can tell once Ruby starts finding Louis "odd and annoying," that Tawny is secretly happy about it and still obviously likes him unconditionally even though he's literally insane. Same, Tawny.

So, yeah. Louis loses his penny and his luck runs out. BBMak basically kick him out of the studio. I love how Louis asks them “What about the record and the touring?! What about BBMak-Stevens?!” as if the conversation ever went that far. It’s great. I might’ve spoke too soon about Shia being gorgeous because the faces he makes when he realizes the penny is missing from his pocket are the furthest thing from the adjective: 

It is hysterical, however. And that outweighs everything else here, so.

This episode ends on an AMAZING note: A super cringy music video for “Sacramento Girl”! What more could you ask for?!?! We get some Twitty-Stevens Connection action here and it’s something to behold. 😂  Be on the lookout for Shia doing his classic “shirt-over-the-head” thing he does, HAHA. You can tell some of the vocals were done by middle-aged men (probably Jim Wise) which makes it even more hilarious. My favorite lyric has got to be the Grammy award worthy: “Before I met the girl I had it made... Now she scores higher than the whole arcade. YEAH!” And of course, the episodes’ immortal last words "TAKE THAT, BBMAK!!!!" will go down in history.  

That’s it! I honestly don’t even know why I’m ranking this one “lower.” It’s probably one of my personal favorites but.. Idk man. There are simply other episodes that I like more, lol. This is a totally solid episode though! Super memorable, pretty strong humor (including music-related humor... which you know I love!), and two awesome plot-lines that blend really well! But, even with all of that.. something felt slightly flat about it when re-watching. It could possibly just be from me watching these episodes waaay too much, tbh. It also probably has something to do with it being a “special” episode with guest stars and whatnot. Episodes like that tend to feel like totally separate things to me. 

At this point, we’ve officially reached the REALLY REALLY GOOD part of the list, though. So I don’t feel too bad about placing it here. There are no “bad” episodes from here on out. Well, there are no bad episodes of Even Stevens in general really. But.. you guys know what I mean.

I’m probably gonna regret and rethink this entire list once I finish it anyway so, lol. 

Thanks for reading! 

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

[huffletiika]

Hello, stranger

GASTINA / UNIVERSITY AU

There’s a new app at the campus that allows you to chat with some other student it matches you with according to your hobbies and likes. Nina logs in this app to prove Luna wrong and ends up talking all night long with a very interesting stranger. Little she knows this guy is Gaston, her high school crush, who is also Matteo’s (Luna’s boyfriend) best friend.

So, I know time has passed, but I have been relly bussy lately with so many things to write, I just let this aside. But well, here is the second part of my Gastina AU, hope you like it. Also, didn’t make proof reading, sorry. It has a lot of Gastteo, some Lutteo, and a mention of Simbar xD!

[Other Chapters]

CHAPTER 2 - ABOUT ANNOYING BEST FRIENDS AND DEPRIVED SLEEP HOURS

“You look like shit” said his best friend walking to the counter, sitting in front of him, and leaving a cup of coffee for him to take. “Don’t tell me you stayed awake all night studying for the test, because I remember you told me yesterday that it was a ‘piece of cake’ when I offered my help”.

Gastón sighed, before taking the cup in his hands.

He felt so tired he couldn’t even keep his own body straight, his eyes were closing all the time as if they weighted one hundred pounds, and the concert of yawns has been live since he had to leave his bedroom to go to the kitchen.

“You had a date” he reminded him. “And, anyway, it IS a piece of cake... I didn’t stay awake because of that” He took a sip of his coffee, and smiled with relief.

He hasn’t been able to sleep, he tried to do it, but when he closed his eyes he began to think about the conversation he had had with Felicity, and to ramble about her identity. He didn’t know all the girls studying in the university, but knew a good number of these, and although he tried to put the words of Felicity in each of them, he couldn’t find any match.

“Thanks for the coffee, by the way”. He added, looking to his friend with a smile on his face.

“You’re welcome” Matteo said with a grin. “So, if you weren’t studying for the test, why did you stay awake all night? You look like you really needed those sleep hours” He added, taking a bite of his breakfast.

“I was talking with someone” He answered, and saw the knowing smile growing on his friends face.

Oh no, here we go again.

“Oh! Now that I remember, I came back from my date with Luna and heard some laughing coming from your room” he said, “everything makes sense now, Economic Theory couldn’t be so fun” he added, teasing.

“You like Maths” he reminded him.

“Yeah… but you don’t, buddy” his friend replied. “The only reason you are on Economic Sciences is because your parents think Literature is not a making-money degree, and because you are the only one who will take care of the family business when they are too old for it”.

He made a grimace.

Yeah, his parents weren’t in a good mood when he told them he wanted to study literature. ‘Are you joking?’ his dad had asked him immediately, and her mom’s face was icy. That later, came with a lot of words about why that would be a bad idea, because ‘you can read and learn that stuff by yourself, that is a hobby, not a career’ and ‘you will one day heritage the family company, how could we leave all our hard work to someone who is not our son?’ that, followed with a ‘I won’t pay for a literature degree’ that sent him directly to the Economy faculty.

“Anyway,” Matteo changed the topic. “Who is the girl you were talking with?”

“How do you know it was a girl? I could be talking with… I don’t know, some guy from one of my elective classes.” He replied, and Matteo openly smiled.

“Because, my dear friend, I would have known if you were cheating on me” the Italian answered, full of himself. “Who is the girl? Do I know her?”

“No, I mean… I don’t know… I don’t even know if I know her myself” he answered, and Matteo looked at him, really confused.

“Explain yourself, because I don’t get it”.

“Ok, long story short, yesterday I heard to some guys at the cafeteria talking about this new app that was created on the campus to meet people, is like a random chat that connects you with other person who have similar hobbies and tastes as you.” He explained, after taking a sip of his coffee. He needs his caffeine, man.  “And well, you know I don’t usually meet people with whom to chat about books and video games and…”

“All your nerdy stuff, yeah” Matteo interrupted, and laughed when he saw Gastón frowning at him. “Sorry, go ahead”.

Gastón sighed.

“Well, I thought it would be nice to give it a try, so I downloaded it… and ended up talking with this girl whose username was Felicity, and even if at the beginning it was a little awkward, we then started to connect, and were talking about a lot of things until very late. I didn’t even noticed the time had passed, until she pointed that out” he explained.

“Awe, you fell in love” His best friend mocked.

“I didn’t…! I mean, I just met her. I don’t even know how she looks”.

“That’s easy to know, what’s her real name? I can search for it on the University’s database”. His friend offered, and he made a grin.

“I didn’t ask her her name, I didn’t think about doing it”.

Matteo laughed.

“Are you sure it’s a girl? I mean, it could be an old fat hairy guy with pedophile inclinations, or worst, some teacher”. He was having the time of his life.

“It’s a girl, I’m sure”. Gastón replied, without hesitation.

“If you say so…” Matteo looked at him amused, before drinking some of his own coffee. “Well, if we are not going to continue the mysterious girl topic, and you are free next Friday, can I ask you a favor?”

Gastón knew his friend enough to know nothing good could come after those words, but he was so curious about what Matteo was going to ask, he just sighed.

“What can I do for you?” he asked.

“Well, you know, I’ve been dating Luna for a couple of months”

“Congratulations”

“Thank you”. He didn’t mind being interrupted, he was even smiling. Gastón never thought to see his best friend so happy about a girl. “Well, she wants me to go to this birthday dinner at her aunt’s, and I know Ambar will be there, and it’s going to be awkward even if she is now dating the guitarist guy, so I need some reinforcement by my side as I don’t know much Luna’s friends.”

“You want me to go?” he interrupted him, and his friend nodded. “But its Luna’s birthday, I mean, she is really nice but I don’t know her that much”. He didn’t want to be that kind of person who goes to a party without being invited.

“I asked her about it, and she said it was fine.” He replied. “Come on, buddy, it will be fun, and I will pay you for it… I can make your next algebra paper-work” he put his very convincing pretty please face, and Gastón rolled his eyes before accepting. Only his best friend would start dating the niece of his ex-girlfriend’s godmother. 

Thinking that phrase felt like a hell of a tongue twister.  

“And Luna has a friend who studies literature, maybe you can get along with her, talk about your nerdy stuff” Matteo winked.

“Are you talking about Nina? Because I’m pretty sure she hates me” Gastón replied, rolling his eyes.

“Why would she hate you?”

“I don’t know, but she always ignores me, or runs away in the exact moment we meet her and Luna on the campus, last time it was even ridiculous, she said she was going to look for a book in the library, but she had it on her hands.” He snorted. “I know it was the book she said, because I was going to ask her about it before she invented that dumb excuse”. He added.

“Luna told me she is shy” Matteo tried to justify the girl’s behavior.

“Yeah, but she talks to you normally, I have seen you”. He rolled his eyes. “She hates me, I tell ya”.

“Well, you could try to ask her about it in the party” his friend suggested, and he shrugged, before finishing his coffee and saying goodbye.

He had a test to do.

Felicity: Hi, are you there?

He was looking at his phone, trying to decide if he should or not write to Felicity, when the message popped up on his screen, surprising him.

Roller Track: I am, indeed. –he typed. -How are you, stranger?  How was your day?

He waited for a long minute before her answer appeared.

Felicity: It was ok, I guess. How was yours? Did you get to stay awake during your test? I have been worried about it all day.

He felt the smile softly growing on his own face.

Roller Track: Luckily enough, I did. My roommate gave me coffee this morning, and I got to sleep when I arrived home after the test.

Felicity: And the test? Was it hard?

Her worries for him were making his chest feel warmer.

Roller Track: All fine, it was the easiest, I’m sure I got a good grade. And you? Did you get to meet on the library with your classmates? Did you prepare your presentation?

Felicity: Yes, we did. Do you want to read something funny? I thought I was late, but I was the first to arrive to the meeting, all my classmates were late, but we got everything done. The only problem will be the day of the presentation.

He frowned.

Roller Track: Why?

He saw her writing something, and then erasing it to start again. He had never been that focused on those stupid dots at the corner of the screen before.

Felicity: Because our teacher wants us all to participate in the presentation, and I’m not that good when talking in public, I feel like I will have a panic attack being there, in front of all my classmates.

Gastón read the words on his screen twice, and felt a new kind of empathy for this girl growing on him, like if he knew her from before.

Roller Track: Hey! I’ve been there. When I was a child I had scenic panic too, once I had this spelling bee contest, and I totally froze. –he wrote. –because of that, I thought I wouldn’t be able to do anything like that without embarrassing myself, so when my best friend suggested me to try for the school’s musical I thought it would be the worst idea ever, but then I gave it a try, and it was amazing.

He had never told that story to anyone, but he felt he could trust in her.

Felicity: Were you the lead?

He read those words and laughed.

Roller Track: Nah, my best friend and his girlfriend from that time were always the lead, no one could beat them on that, but I got a solo, the drama teacher liked my singing voice and wrote a song just for me to sing.

Felicity: Impressive.

Roller Track: I know. –he smiled. –but hey! We were talking about your presentation, and my story had a moral. I’m pretty sure you will nail it, just remember the guy who froze on his spelling bee contest but got to sing on a school musical, you just have to focus on one person, and talk to him or her. Maybe a friend, as teachers are usually intimidating, I always try to avoid their sight.

He pressed sent, and waited for her answer, getting a little be desperate when it didn’t come as fast as he wanted.

Felicity: Thank you. –she wrote, after the longest couple of minutes of his life. –I have to go, I must meet with my best friend, she wants me to go with her to buy some things, and I don’t want her to think I forgot about it.

His smile faded.

Roller Track: It’s ok. –he wrote. –Go with your friend, enjoy your afternoon, I’ll be fine by my own.

Felicity: Are you sure?

Roller Track: Yeah! don’t worry about me, little stranger. –Her concern made him recover his smile. –I have to do some homework, anyway.

Felicity: Ok. Talk to you later?

Roller Track: Yeah, I won’t go anywhere. –He finally wrote, and after their goodbyes he let his phone by him side on the mattress, and closed his eyes.

He lied, he didn’t have any work to do, but he didn’t want her to feel bad for letting him and going to meet her friend to go shopping. Who would she be? Again, a conversation between the two of them had ended, and he didn’t get her name. He didn’t even thought about asking her about it, maybe this anonymous thing was what made things so easy, there was no need to rush things.

[mayatheamazon]

I remember now why I don't ever want to go to a Latin convention again.

It was during my freshman year of high school. I was so passionate about Latin (still am) and believe that Latin is NOT a dead language.

We have yet to thank her for being the mother language of so many others like English, my primary language.

It’s a hard language to learn according to a certain scale to learn from English, but in third grade i took it on easily and have loved it ever since.

So i decided to go to the convention.

It’s hundreds of dollars to go for three days in a hotel and just…fan out over Latin.

There’s toga days, ice cream, tests you can take about Latin grammar, Ancient Roman history, Greek, etc.,, and tons of contests.

There’s also nerdy trivia games over certain topics called “Certamen” (the Latin word for “struggle”) and themes for how to dress.

Okay. That sounds like so much fun, right? Costume contests even for classical gods and goddesses?!

I was pumped.

We had to sign up for it during the fall so we could go during February. And there were rules, so many rules because there were hundreds of students.

I lost my handbook, as did others, and I felt fairly responsible for myself and asked my Latin teacher to go upstairs to my room and get something, to which I recall he said was FINE.

I went up to the second floor to get to an elevator to the sixth and a stern, white teacher stopped me, a half-Asian, 4'9" child who was respectful and had a passion for learning and being kind to others.

He was at least 6’ and towered over angrily and spoke to me in a tone that said “you don’t belong here. Go away.”

Not to mention I had kept away a little from my group because an emotionally abusive guy was texting me and I didn’t realize how manipulative he was, nor did I want anyone else to know about it. That would be weird.

He was pissed that I was there in the first place for some reason?? And thought that other guys (or just FRIENDS IN GENERAL) would keep me from talking to him.

Like, dude, you’re not the top of my priority list anyways.

So that was fun, and I was already super agitated as this annoying teacher was asking my name, my school name, and why the hell I thought I could go against the rules and be up here unattended.

Maybe he was caring about my safety. Or not.

There just was so much going on and I respectfully told him I was sorry, hadn’t meant to break the rules, had actually lost my rule book, and knew that he was a teacher. I wasn’t wanting to be a bad kid.

It took me a bit to find my group again and I did. But later I forgot again that I couldn’t go unattended.

There just was so much to do, and I still was trying to fight that guy hissing in my ear telling me that I’m hurting HIM, as he dissed my passion for Latin and the fact that I had other friends besides him.

A group of sweet, well dressed people from a black high school caught me texting the douche and came over, surrounded me lovingly, and told me that even though I was separated from my group, they could be my new supportive group of friends. That’s one of the only good memories I had.

Then I remembered I had to get something, had to go, and I went up again. The teacher yelled at me again, threatening he’d report me, telling me basically that I was the equivalent of a criminal in this convention and treating me like a delinquent when I clearly didn’t mean to be a cocky teen with no respect.

I’m not a rule breaker.

I’m not, and I still calmly, quietly apologized. After that I tearfully rushed to the bathroom. Cried for so long.

Found my group again, never able to find the black high school again and thank them. The next day was Sunday, I told my teacher, and we had to pack since it was the last day. So I did…

…And got out.

That’s why I’m never going to any other Latin convention. I might when I’m older and that teacher forgets about me.. but I felt discriminated against.

I felt like that day, he was out to get me and use his own authority to make himself seem bigger than he already was.

He belittled me and I even wrote out what I would have given him, apologizing but also telling him that I thought his behavior also was going against the rules—of morality.

I don’t know. I could have been wrong, but I also feel like if I was white, he wouldn’t have reprimanded me so harshly.

[roohini]

subways

okay lets hope that my first post isnt trash the minute it was born (like me ahahahhahahh) 

basically, its the beginning of something i made, tell me if you like it and ill make more chapters :)

__________________________________________________________

Her nose never got used to the smell of the subway. All fifteen years, and still, it bated her breathing the moment she got a whiff of the unnamable fragrance d'aroma public transport – Queens, New York.

Then again, the alleyways smelled worse. But nothing could even compete with the stench that trailed from the back of the Tuesday garbage truck. That was the true epitome of smells. Walking behind it, was a whole other level.

Taking the b line subway wasn't bad at all, once you got past the fact that none of the seats are clean, and they never will be, so pick a seat and forever hold your peace. Luckily, there was mainly just other normal people on the morning subs, but that included her schoolmates.

Midtown School of Science and Technology was probably one of the best schools in the nation. That's the exact reason why she had to even go to school, at least according to her parents. They both got to where they were today from their brains, and the same was expected from Madi.

Typical Indian parents.

She loved them more than anything in the world, they were her world just how she was theirs. That of course, means complying to everything they told her to do. Not that that was bad. Just tiring. Very tiring.

They never made her do anything she didn't want to do, they loved her more than they did her grades and everything. Just everything they made her do made complete sense, so why wouldn't you do it? If it was going to help her chances of college admission, do it. Helping her do something productive with her life? Do it. Making her Indian relatives in India think that moving to US wasn't a waste of time and money? Do it. Saving money? Well, that put her in the situation she was in right now.

That was the exact reason why she was riding this packed subway. Standing next to a businessman with a very potent cologne – which definitely was not one of her favorites – did add to the fragrance d'aroma public transport, but not to her morning. Sharing the bus with twenty of her classmates wasn't any more helpful either.

Thankfully, headphones and music was basically the cure to not talking with anyone more than you had to, so of course she'd never failed to forget them.

Except today.

You know that knot in your stomach that comes when someone exposes you and your lie? When you have some bad news to tell someone? The knot was always the biggest when she forgot her headphones. Okay, okay, maybe it was a teenage millennial thing. Definitely a millennial thing.

It was probably six in the morning, and any hour before ten o'clock wasn't the best time for her, or the people around. Legit. Not a good time. She wasn't the most pleasant of people, or was she the most attractive to look at. Her eyes were evidence of the lack of sleep she got, and her hair was curly, so inevitably it was hard to manage, but the reign of frizz was strongest in the early hours.

It wasn't Madi at her best, so she just kept to herself. That included not falling into anyone on the subway.

The New York subways were never good at stopping fluidly. It was more of a screeching halt. Luckily, she had mastered the art of not clamoring into the person in front of her, but the person behind her clearly hadn't.

The stranger slammed into her into the metal pole she was holding, both umping at the sudden impact.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to bu—" he stopped his sentence as she turned around to face her bumper.

He was definitely taller than her, by a decent amount. Not that her being 5'3 was anything hard to beat. She craned her neck up at him, trying to get a better look than the blue Midtown sweater he was wearing.

"Ha I mean, sorry to bump into you" he repeated again, rubbing the back of his neck.

She smiled up at him, "No worries" before readjusting her black north face backpack.

"So do you go to Midtown?" Madi asked, he looked about her age.

"Yeah, do you?" he replied back, "I think I have seen you around the halls, Madi right?" "Yeah, Madi Pandey" she said grinning up at him, "Sorry, I don't think I know your name"

"It's Peter Parker" a dusting of red covered his cheeks.

She felt really bad after that, she didn't know his name.

Madi it's not like you're the queen of everyone, have some respect for others you little brat.

"Oh you're the Decathlon Champ right?" She asked, her face lighting up with remembrance.

"Yeah! Yeah um, that's me" He said, still looking flustered. Madi wondered why he was so embarrassed, Peter seemed like a really nice guy.

He's probably embarrassed to be seen talking with a pathetic person like you. Keep on talking anyway.

"Do you know Liz? She's also on the team"

Another layer of red spread over his face, accompanied by his cinnamon eyes widening.

"Hahaha, Liz? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know her. She's also really smart" He said with a light stutter.

"She's so cool, right? She's the nicest senior I think I have met" She smiled up at him again.

"Yeah, she is." He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his blue jeans. Dang, he didn't wear those khaki pants all the other boys wore.

A silence settled between the two of them, that really, really, awkward pause when you have no idea what to say to the other person.

Yeah no duh, it's awkward since you have no life or friends and you can't socialize even with your parents, much less a boy you've just met on the subway.

Madi absentmindedly flicked the vibrate button on her phone, peering down at her blue distressed jeans and whiteish adidas.

She was very much a coconut.

(co·co·nut – an indian who acts/dresses white and very basic)

She liked it though. Even though people made fun of her for being one, they did it playfully. Not like when they made fun of her before.

She'd learned that – no based on her accumulative observations of coconuts – people liked others who looked like them. Who acted like them. No one really cared if you were nice. They cared more about how other people saw them. That's why all the pretty girls swarmed together. Why all the guys wanted to show off how many hoes they had.

Madi wasn't innocent of this crime either though. She did dress basic, she wore whatever all the other girls wore, but it worked. It worked like hell.

Maybe it was pathetic that she cared about how people saw her more than what she wanted. It honestly was. The lure of everyone liking her for once was too enticing. So, she slowly, unknowingly, gave in. But it was just all about looks, right?

"75 West Street" the speakers robotically muttered.

She maneuvered away from the pungent businessman to the door,"Madi wait—"

Peter had called out, "If you're going to Midtown, I can show you a quicker way."

She pursed her lips for a moment before once again rejoining Mr. Parker.

"Looks like you know Queens pretty well" she stated,

"Yeah, lived here my whole life."

"That must be nice" Madi wasn't given the luxury of having lived in one place for all of her life. It was always moving, switching countries to switching homes.

"Oh are you not from Queens then?" He asked.

"Actually yeah, I'm from Michigan. But the last place I lived in was Pennsylvania."

"You must have mad spelling skills then"

"What?" She raised her eyebrows along with her head to get a better look at him.

"Oh, uhm, I mean that since you lived in Pennsylvania, which is super hard to spell, I thought that you had reallygoodspellingskills" He rambled the last part, and his blush returned. What was up with his cheeks?

Madi had to silently repeat to herself the last part of what he said, since he spoke it lightning fast, slightly squinting her eyes as she did.

Reallygoodspellingskills.... Really good spelling skills!

She faintly arched her head out at his joke, laughing softly.

"Well I'm nothing exceptional, but here's a little secret,"

She then leaned closer to his now lowered ear,

"Don't tell anyone but, I don't know how to spell Pennsylvania"

He widened his eyes, and sarcastically put a hand over his mouth, as Madi narrowed her eyes and held her finger to her lips.

"That is the scandal Ms. Pandey, I can't believe you would commit something that atrocious" He fake whispered, spitting out the atrocious.

"SHHHH" she also fake whispered while jetting closer to Peter's face, making him redder, "No one can know of my terrible deed"

He then also narrowed his eyes and looked back at her, the two having a contest.

"79th Way" the speakers robotically muttered again.

He whisked his eyes and line of sight away from Madi and started towards the doors.

"I see how it is Mr. Parker, you're going to bail on me right in the middle of a competition?" She amusingly asked after she reached his side.

"Well, I wouldn't call it bailing," He turned to face her, his smirk or his blush unwavering, "More of an advanced winning"

The doors immediately stretched open, and he skipped down onto the platform. He half turned back to Madi, beckoning for her to follow.

"Come on Pennsylvania" he said jokingly,

She hopped next to Peter, "Right with you Queens"

[jagged-parts]

I'm here to tell a story

"Go blow your nose, Tiffanie. Your sniffling is getting annoying." This is something I grew up hearing on a daily basis. "But I don't have to blow my nose." That was nearly always my response. But what did I end up doing? Blowing my nose anyway. My nose would be red and dry from trying so hard to blow out what was never in there to begin with. This was the start of my journey with Tourette's Syndrome. On the outside I look pretty normal, if you look past the purple hair. But as a kid, there were never any major signs that anything was wrong. I sniffed a lot, I blinked a lot, but I also had allergies so that's what we assumed it was. However, there were other things that I was experiencing that were connected to Tourette's Syndrome that I had no idea about. Anxiety. Depression. Ocd. Sleep problems. Migraines. Sensory issues. Things that plagued my existence for as long as I can remember, that left me wondering why I was on this earth if all I was doing was suffering. Then in high school, things got worse. One night, I woke up to go to the bathroom but I couldn't walk. Now, any normal person would be alarmed by this and call for help. But I guess I'm not normal because I remained calm and dragged myself there instead. I then proceeded to drag myself back to bed. My mother took me to the emergency room where they told me I was just exhausted, gave me some aspirin and told me to get some rest. Later on, I noticed my head was moving like a bobble head would, but I wasn't doing it on purpose. I also couldn't stop it. I pointed it out to my mom, and she thought I was just trying to find another reason to get out of school. Eventually it stopped and I went back to doing my thing. After two years, my head started to move on it's own again, but this time it was different. I was making noises too. What I thought was just the chills was happening way too frequently for it to be just that. So again, I mentioned it to my parents. It wasn't until they physically saw it happen that they admitted something was out of the ordinary. So, I went to a neurologist and received my diagnosis. Usually Tourette's patients are diagnosed early on, but not I. I was 17 when I found out, and as soon as I had a name for it I did all the research I could to better understand what was going on with my body. Guess what. There isn't that much information about Tourette's Syndrome. And a lot of what was advertised about it was cursing. That tic, thankfully, I do not have. So I continued on with my life, deciding that since it was only a little uncomfortable and not debilitating that it was no big deal. Well, I didn't know it then, but I was wrong. College came, and with it the excitement of becoming an adult- responsiblity, independence, and freedom. I got good grades, I socialized to the best of my ability, I even did open mics and writing contests. For a while I was happy, and my tics were pretty tame. But like an avalanche, they started to form faster and faster with no regard to the environment being disturbed because of it. At the beginning of my senior year, I had to leave school because I couldn't concentrate, I was in pain from my body's constant movement that I couldn't control, and I also lost my ability to walk right again. So, back to the neurologist I went. Except this time, it was a different doctor. According to her, I should have been put on medication as soon as I was diagnosed to prevent it from getting out of control. Too bad my previous doctor didn't give me that advice. Grudgingly, I decided to take the medicine because I figured it would be better to try that out than to let it go untreated. The following months were filled with cold sweats, dizziness, even worse migraines than before, and the inability to sleep less than 12 hours a night without crying upon being awakened. It was safe to say this medication was adding on to my problems. I was switched to a different medication, and the results were much better. I started to feel hopeful again, especially since I was also going to therapy. I didn't go back to school yet, but I did go back to work. Oddly enough, it seems that every time things are starting to look up for me, I somehow hit another setback. That's exactly what happened. My body started to feel weaker, I was on edge. I knew that the storm was coming. Now 22, my tics can no longer be passed off as allergy symptoms. They result in me hitting myself, banging into things around me, making loud repetitive noises, clapping over and over again, and even falling to the floor. I spend hours having tics that prevent me from eating, drinking, or walking a few feet to the bathroom. I watch my mom rush to my side as my body shakes and jerks every which way, tears in her eyes because she doesn't know how to help me. She says it looks like I'm having a seizure. So much for the independence and freedom I mentioned earlier. This is my reality. This is what I live with every day, and will continue to deal with for the rest of my life. There is no cure. Only treatments and the hope that the tics will somehow improve. Once upon a time, I was an honors student. I would commute every day to another borough to make sure I could get my degree. Now, I'm lucky if I can even leave my apartment. Not a lot of people understand the impact Tourette's has on me, because not a lot of people really understand what it is. When I tell people I have it, they tell me I'll get better. Just try. Be positive. And that's probably the least motivational or inspirational thing you can tell someone like me, because I have absolutely no control over my body and this is a chronic disease. I'm not going to wake up one day and magically be better. So far it's only gotten worse. That's really hard for me to say because it sounds so negative. I'm used to feeling negative, but I'm not used to admitting it. When you have as many problems as I do, you learn to sweep things under the rug for the comfort of others, all while you decay little by little on the inside. On the rare occasion you do decide to open up to people, and you tell them that their advice isn't helpful, automatically you're made to seem like you just don't want to get better. That you make excuses. The thing is, all the stuff people tell me to do, I've tried already. I've known about my condition for six years now, so believe me, I have tried. My brain doesn't function properly and my body doesn't either, so at this point I sort of just sit there and think, did I miss anything? Maybe if I push myself to do this, it'll be okay. There goes the sound of the engine backfiring. Now I'm back at square one, stuck in bed because I pushed myself too hard and my body is convulsing again. I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure Advil wasn't meant to be taken every day. Yet with the amount of pain I'm in, that is what life's looking like right now. Pill after pill, tic after tic, bruise after bruise. This is my life. It is not an easy one. But unfortunately it's the only one I've got. So I guess I've just gotta keep tic'n.