#anyways a lot of this theory stuff is still in the fic but not presented like this

[redpenship]

hi, due to major plot changes i have cut the following scene between eggman and starline from buzzsaw 2. i had a lot of fun writing it so i'm posting it on tumblr :)

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At their next meeting, Starline expected to hear more about Ivo’s theory. Instead, he walked into a room with a wall-sized whiteboard and a question crawled across the top in marker: 

IF ALIENS EXIST, WHERE ARE THEY?

“Good research requires theory falsification. I am sure you were taught this in a research methods class, but I will go over it since you displayed an inability to use it in your paper,” Ivo began. He gestured to a table close to the board with a bin of erasable markers. “Grab a marker and come here. We are going to falsify mainstream academic dogma together.” 

Ivo was holding a red marker, so Starline took a blue one out of the bin for better contrast. He moved to stand beside the board and gave Ivo a doubtful look. “You want to falsify dogma?”

Below the question, Ivo wrote something else: 

Accepted Answer: All life in the universe resembles Earth. 

“This is the mainstream answer to the Fermi paradox. Humans used to imagine that alien life would exist in all kinds of different forms. Now, most people believe that life can only develop in extremely specific conditions, leading it to be a very rare phenomenon. Why did they come to that conclusion?”

“Terra and Earth are extremely similar to each other,” Starline answered. 

“Right. Sixty years ago, it was inconceivable that we could just waltz onto a planet and find the same flora and fauna as back on our home world. But we did, so we have found an answer to the paradox: all life is the same! Now, let’s look at yours.”

Starline’s Answer: Humans and Mobians descend from a common ancestor. 

Ivo turned to face him. “You believe that our planets have been touched by the same alien life form. This is supported by the same evidence as the mainstream theory, so we need to find a reason to prove why your theory is more correct than the other.” Ivo walked over to the left edge of the board and wrote a 1. in the corner. “We are going to think of alternate explanations that falsify the accepted answer but do not contradict your own. I will go first to help you see what I mean.” 

1. Space technology is impossible for most intelligent lifeforms. 

Ivo turned back to face him. "The Chaos Emeralds prevented Mobians from reaching anything close to space technology. If this is true for you, why not other civilizations as well?"

"Other life forms may exist, but they struggle to leave their planet," Starline observed. There could even be aliens with stable physics who couldn't build space technology due to physical limitations, such as a species of very smart snake-like creatures who couldn't build machines because they had no hands. Ivo was correct—there were many factors that contributed to humanity's ability to achieve spaceflight. What if those were more rare than alternative life forms?

Like Ivo, he decided to draw his first explanation from something they could observe between their two species. 

2. Scientific development destroys planets. 

“Development requires the exploitation of natural resources,” Starline explained. He rotated the marker in his fingers nervously as he felt the Doctor’s eyes on him. “Surely, not all species manage to leave their planet before it becomes uninhabitable. Humans may have been very lucky in that regard.”

Ivo hummed in thought. “I don’t know if I would say that science destroyed Terra, but let’s keep that as a generalization for what happened to humans there. It’s good enough.”

The next theory came from Ivo. 

3. Space travel is deadly. 

Out of fourteen interstellar voyages to leave Terra, only eight of them made it to their destination. This appeared to be a high survival rate on the surface, but if the destination had been unknown or farther away, it was possible that fewer of them would have made it as increased paranoia drove them to attack each other.

If this had happened to humans, it could have happened to other aliens, too. Maybe alien fleets killed each other in space more often than they travelled together peacefully. This would explain the lack of aliens flying around in space.

He came up with the next one. 

4. Colonization is not a norm. 

Starline held his breath as he waited for Ivo’s response. The human raised an eyebrow as he read it over. “Not a norm? Explain.” 

“Let’s say what humans did here isn’t normal,” Starline said. He struggled to find a way to elaborate. “Both of our planets have had empires and wars, but I’m not talking about imperialism. I mean actively looking for other planets to live on or exploit for resources.” 

“If an alien species is like humanity’s case on Terra, and presumably capable of long-term space travel, why would they not look for another planet?”

“You’re projecting your experience. The reason humanity came up with the idea of turning to space for a new planet is because you’re well-suited to survive in most climates.” Starline drew the outlines of Angel Island, the East Pacific cluster, and the United Federation. Inside, he shaded in territory until he hit the colder regions in the north, which he left blank. “This was the reach of the Knuckles Clan Empire at their peak. As you can see, they didn’t expand into regions with harsh winters. They had the warriors and resources needed to conquer smaller tribes in this area, but they couldn’t do it beause echidnas aren’t suited to survive in those environments. If you look at other historic Mobian empires, you’ll see that they never expanded beyond the climates they were adapted to. Humans can survive in a wide variety of climates—your ancestors could live anywhere on Terra. That isn’t true for Mobians. If we put Mobians in humanity’s position on Terra, I don’t think we would have tried to find a new planet. We don’t assume other places are suited for us.” 

After a moment, Ivo nodded. “I see. Thank you for correcting my human arrogance! I accept that some species may not find exploration as rewarding as we have.” 

It seemed as though they had fallen into taking turns, so Ivo made the next point. 

5. Some aliens preemptively eliminate other civilizations. 

“How much have you read about the voyagers?” Ivo asked.

Starline had never found history very interesting. “Not much.” 

“When they discovered intelligent life on this planet, the majority of them chose to spare you. However, a small group of them wanted to destroy you. They theorized that you would become more dangerous over time; it was clear you had no technology and would be helpless at first, but what about the future? What if you became vengeful over what we did to you? Once the technological gap between us closed, you would become a bigger threat to humanity. Do you think they may be proven correct in the future?”

He stared at the drawing of Angel Island on the board. “They already were. If humans governments weren’t scared of Mobians, they wouldn’t have signed the Convention on Cohabitation.” 

“Great observation! The islands exist to pacify you. By splitting you up and sending you to isolated territories all over the world, humans have ensured that you will remain weak and dependent on their assistance for survival. This makes it very difficult for the islands to assert their sovereignty.” Ivo leaned over and erased the territory drawings with his hand. “Let’s apply these concepts outward. If another alien race approaches this planet with the intent of being allies, will anyone welcome them with open arms?”

“No. No one assumes aliens have good intentions."

“Let’s say Earth and these aliens both had the weapons necessary to destroy each other. As we learned more about each other, do you think we would eventually use them?”

Starline bit his tongue in thought. The Earth’s experience with alien invaders had rendered it wary of other aliens. If Earth and another alien civilization came to know of each other’s existence, the aliens would eventually learn the planet’s history with other alien civilizations. This would make them worry about how Earth perceived them, regardless of Earth’s true feelings on the matter. Naturally, Earth would already be concerned over how the aliens believed Earth perceived them. The aliens would deduce this thought process eventually and worry that Earth believed that the aliens’ perception of the Earth’s perception of the aliens was hostile. The aliens would respond by fearing that the Earth’s perception of the aliens’ perception of the Earth’s perception of the aliens was also hostile. They would lose all ability to trust one another. And then they would enter a race to destroy the other civilization before they had a chance to strike first. 

The anwer to Ivo’s question was now obvious. “We would destroy each other,” Starline said. 

He thought over Earth’s invasion dynamic. As Ivo had said, one of the reasons humans spared Mobians was because their technological inferiority rendered them incapable of defending themselves. If aliens were concerned about their perceptions of each other, a way to relieve that anxiety would be to exclusively enagage with alien civilizations that did not possess the means to eliminate them. So, perhaps . . .

Starline pushed his marker against the whiteboard. 

6. Aliens only interact with technologically inferior civilizations. 

Ivo stared at the suggestion with an intense expression. His typical bemused aura was gone, and he appeared more serious than Starline had ever seen him. 

“Then we cannot allow ourselves to be inferior . . .” Ivo muttered. 

--

an: ty for reading!!! <3333

[tobifuyu]

Shopping with the Haitani Ran goes wrong!

RAN HAITANI x f!reader

Ran thinks you're too cute to be dressing this badly. He takes you shopping, finally gives in to his own desires and touches you in the dressing room. Chaos ensues.

cw: nsfw, mdni, smut, vaginal fingering, orgasm denial.

words count: 5,398

a/n: this is actually my first time writing smut, or anything at all, so bear with me. the one shot is part of a longer fic that I will start posting pretty soon, set in the Bonten timeline, I just wanted to put out something in the meantime, mostly as practice. english is not my first language! enjoy.

If you think shopping with a man such as Haitani Ran would be an enjoyment of sorts, well, you’d be wrong.

If your damnation could be encased in a day it would be today out of all of them.

Haitani Ran is already a handful as it is, put him in a store-filled street, already dressed to the nines and parading around like he owns the motherfucking moon and stars and what comes out is a big ass headache and a lot of self-deprecation.

In theory, the idea was not half bad. Ran knows a lot about this kind of stuff: fashion, styling, brands… at least more than you do, no matter how much you’d like to keep up. And the amount of money in his bank account is – well, still a mystery to you – you can only imagine a lot, considering what he is wearing and the place he’s dragging you to with a big hand wrapped around your wrist.

So in theory him helping you pick out a few pieces of clothing you could buy with your weekly allowance didn’t sound too bad. Considering how extravagant he and his brother are, you were expecting to head over to Harajuku, and maybe try to dig out something he could style for you from a cool vintage store.

You didn’t think he would bring you to a mall.

You don’t even think you’d be allowed in such a place, normally, not in the way you’re dressed anyway.

I mean, you did try your hardest to look somewhat presentable, knowing you’d be running around with the Haitani Ran, but with your laughable budget and a very confused sense of style, you look like Ran had just picked you up from the sidewalk like one of those lone puppies you’d see in a sad movie and brought you around to keep him company while squatting at his feet and wiggling your tail.

You’ve just always liked too many trendy styles, buying a few pieces here and there and leaving you with no basics and nothing to match them with, and so y ou look out of place, walking into a brand store practically hand in hand with one of the most handsome guys those judgy store clerks have probably ever seen, with a timeless and classy outfit that makes him look like he belongs there.

And most importantly, that he can afford it.

Maybe the only thing that makes up for it is his crazy two-toned braids. Doesn’t make him look nearly as bad as you, but at least you know how to use a toner.

He spends some time looking around the racks after shooing the shopping assistant who tried to approach the two of you away, and you trail behind him like – yeah, you guessed it – a lost puppy with eyes cast down, as if trying to disappear, maybe then they’d stop staring holes through your bland white cardigan that’s a little too big for your frame since you eyeballed its size and then found it too comfy to size down.

And that’s because you and fitting rooms just don’t click. You find the whole process a little too tiring, both mentally and physically.

Who enjoys spending that much time undressing yourself to wear clothes that have been worn by god knows how many others and have yet to see a washing machine, just to cry the moment you get them on because fast fashion sizes don’t fit people but want people to fit in them? Also having to recollect yourself and patch up your makeup while redressing as quickly as possible cause a line has already formed outside the door, you can hear them, and you can already feel their judging stares the moment you are gonna leave all the clothes you tried on with the clerk, nonetheless, cause everything looked like absolute shit on you–

Draining, that’s what it is.

But it’s dread that you feel creeping up on you while approaching the said fitting rooms with one of Ran’s arms now circling your waist, the other doing the most to hold up a bunch of clothes that you can barely make out but you know he has picked out, just for you.

“We can skip this part.”

You had tried reasoning, just to get hit with a “Skip this part my ass, there’s no buying clothes without trying them on. That’s how you end up with that cardigan. And I’m paying for this shit, so we’ll do as I say, princess.”

Ouch, what a little bitch.

Maybe you shouldn’t be feeling remorse, after he’s reminded you so kindly of why he’s decided to do this in the first place, knowing he wants to pull out his wallet to soothe his pretty eyes from having to see you dressed like a mess all the time.

But you’re better than this, so you decide you’ll only pick something you can afford.

He’s nothing to you but a new acquaintance, after all.

A means to an end, you like to remind yourself. You’re not using him, not a hundred percent at least, cause he’s getting your shining company in return. But yeah… you just need him to get to Manjirou. Nothing more. Nothing fun… you swear to yourself.

You’re doing Toman a favor, continuing Draken’s underground work now that he’s gone. You know Takemichi and sweet Chifuyu don’t add up to much when it comes to planning.

You’ve heard about Ran’s little fixation on you from the grapevine. His own brother had admitted to him relentlessly talking about you. And now, with Kantou Manji looming over the future of you all, you knew you had to get involved.

It has nothing to do with the fact that Ran’s lazy lavender eyes have had you in a chokehold from the very first time the two of you met, years ago.

He and Rindou wanting to fight you and your brother – only the latter, really – just to find out that you don’t back down from a challenge.

(From that day onward, if you were to ask Rindou, he would say that’s when his brother started talking about you.)

So you let him lock you in the fitting room, one of those cool ones with mirrors and lights all around you but, most importantly, a sturdy door.

One you know, in a store this expensive, no one will start knocking on if you take too long squeezing into one of those tiny dresses.

Not that it does anything to stop Ran once you’ve declared you’ve tried on the first one.

A pretty lilac piece, that would complement him and his eyes more – you mentally decide you’d like to see that – but you would look pretty (for once) standing at his side.

If it weren’t for the fact that it’s a tad too little on your frame, as expected, squeezing all the wrong places, skin spilling over and all that (you can’t possibly know he’s picked it a size or two too small on purpose).

Especially your cleavage, meaning this is all but a dress you could just wear to parade around the streets with a gang member. It would send the wrong message. And god knows what would happen if that message were to reach someone from Toman. A blond-haired guy in particular.

Shame on you.

But you can’t dwell on it too much, with Ran bursting through the door, then closing it behind his frame with all the nonchalance in the world, as if it isn’t quite scandalous the way you’re half clad and enclosed in a tight space with a man older than you (not by much, but still), in a luxury store, with clerks circling the both of you like hawks.

He approaches your body, and you can tell he’s making a decision his head while scrutinizing the dress, or rather you, from over your shoulder.

You’re facing forward and can feel the heat of his body approaching way before you feel his front touch your back, his hands momentarily settling at your hips.

They then move lower, trying to smooth the fabric of the dress as if it would make it fit better, and you feel a shiver run through your spine at the contact.

The tips of his fingers are cold where they brush your naked thighs, so you blame it on that.

“Looks perfect on you.” his warm breath hits your neck as he speaks with that low voice of his.

Focus, goddamnit.

“I hope you’re joking. I can barely breathe, and I think my ass might be hanging out.”

You can feel his body shake with giggles, and you know he’s trying to contain them for your sake, even though he’s never been the one to shy away from public shaming, especially when it comes to you. Sigh.

“Mh, I don’t know about that, but the front looks good.” His hands make a b-line for your waist, squeezing the fat there before moving upwards to rest a breath away from your tits. The dress is so tight you didn’t need to wear a bra with that. “Gosh, would you look at that? Fucking perfect.”

“Ran,” you warn him, you know he’s just teasing you again, or rather, testing you.

You meet his eyes in the reflection of the mirror, and you don’t want him to win one of the many little challenges he poses you with daily, so you hold his gaze, leaning the back of your head against his left shoulder.

He’s sure you’re the one tempting him at this point, deciding to play along in his little game that’s gonna ruin the both of you sooner or later, cause with that movement alone you’ve exposed your neck and cleavage like a white canvas, only his to paint.

“Fuck baby,” he groans and you feel yourself shivering once again, “You have no idea what you’re doing to me, do you? Or maybe you do, you little vixen.”

You laugh, “Is that all it takes to bring down the Haitani Ran? A dress that’s a little too small?” you want to hit his ego back, at least, for the way he’s making you feel.

So exposed and vulnerable.

And little, which you’re very much not, but the way he’s encasing you with his bigger body is making you look ridiculously tiny.

“Paired with these tits and hips yeah, might just be the one thing that’s gonna put an end to the Haitani’s reign.”

It’s mesmerizing, his tone of voice, the deep baritone laced with a hint of teasing and sass that drips from his lips like honey straight to your pliant ears and reverberates through your even more pliant body.

One of his fingers creeps up to the neckline of the dress and drags over its seams with such a delicately that you wouldn’t even have caught it if you weren’t so busy trying to follow his every move and breath, leaving the haze of his purple eyes that split second enough to record the very movement.

“Ran, I don’t think this is appropriate.” You try to hide your smirk as you say that, knowing that is not gonna stop him but rather rile him up.

He smirks back, grabbing you by the chin with his free hand so he can turn your head to face him. “Since when have you become such a prude, uh?”

“I have always been, you’re the one trying to taint my innocence, remember?”

You’re not completely joking at this point, he’s been trying to get a reaction out of you since you’ve started hanging out more frequently.

He knows you shouldn’t, but he’s adamant in getting you to admit he can rile you up just as easily.

A dark set of lashes shade his lavender hues as he stares down at you, pondering over what to do next without scaring you too badly.

“Can I kiss you?” There he goes, he just couldn’t resist himself, could he?

You just look so good, dressed in something he picked for you, standing in this tiny space with him draped around you. He wants to eat you up.

“No.”

Ouch. That hurts. How could you say no to him? Look at me, he thinks, and as if you can read his twisted mind, you do just that.

He is so irresistible, with one of his long braids slipping past your shoulder, hair tickling your skin the same way his hand is still doing over the hem of the dress. Pink full lips shaped in a pout you think he’s sporting more to get pity out of you rather than because he cares. But you’re a woman of great self-control.

Or so you thought.

“Just– you can touch me. To fix the dress.”

You two are so close, practically glued to each other, it’s not the first time it’s happened but your body still reacts like it’s being shocked every time he touches you.

And Ran thinks it’s more than he thought you’d allow yourself to go, so he does just that, to fix the dress, that is.

It’s to fix the dress that he grasps the fullness of both your tits in his big palms, no need to use one hand to hold your face to him anymore as you instantly rotate towards his frame to hide your face in the curve of his neck, soft lips pushed against his pale skin to muffle the sighs that you’re letting out at his bold move.

He doesn’t hesitate to squeeze them, pushing them up to prop the fat against the hem of the dress as if to make it fit properly, or as properly as the set image he has in his head, which is everything but proper.

“Fuck, you have such pretty tits.” He’s groaning in your ear at this point, enjoying the way you’re letting him touch you a little too much if the way he starts rubbing against you from behind is of any indication.

You can’t help your body from trying to mold to his touch, back arching and pushing against the hands caressing you over the skimpy fabric of the dress.

One of them is heading lower, running over the hills of your torso and hip before grabbing onto the flesh of your right thigh. The other keeps teasing you with precision and reaches over the hem to pull it down and expose your skin to the cold of the fitting room.

A perked nipple is encased by his long fingers, nails scraping over the bud to tease a soft moan out of your mouth. You grab onto one of his braids, slightly pulling before blindly looking for the hair tie. It’s removed with swift hands that you then run along its length to free it from the twists, so you can bury a hand at the back of his nape, pulling him towards you – as if he could get any closer – scratching the skin there as payback.

“R-Ran” your body is starting to heat up, the cold air surrounding the two of you doing nothing to cool you down. “‘Need more, please.”

“Since you asked so nicely…” At that the hand that has been massaging the fat of your thigh creeps under the bottom of the infamous dress, making you unable to see his next move even from the reflation of the mirror.

But you can feel him skimming over your panties with his fingertips, pressing against the wet patch that has formed there.

“You got wet just from this? Must be really desperate, uh. ‘ve barely touched you.”

What a piece of shit, you think.

But your body likes this side of his, the degrading and teasing, and it especially likes the way the pad of his finger is now pressing against your clit, unexpectedly making you let out a moan that you didn’t think you’d be capable of. Always the quiet one.

“Shh, you wouldn’t want them to hear us, now, would you?” He’s rubbing circles against the bundle of nerves, touching it just right, just like you would, alone in your room (while thinking about him, probably), making it hard to think or even remotely feel shame. “Maybe you’d like that? Mh? Want them to know making you feel good, right, pretty girl?”

When you don’t care enough to answer he pinches your clit over the wet fabric of your underwear, the whimpering noise you let out like music to his ears.

You just really want to feel his skin on yours, but too shy to ask for it you decide to do the next best thing. With the hand that is not too busy pulling the back of his head, you reach between your legs and push the fabric of your panties aside, exposing your pussy to the air without a care in the world.

If desperation had a face, at this point, it would most definitely look like yours.

“Ah shit, pretty-“

“Touch me, Ran.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He finds your clit once again, not before running through the dripping folds and collecting the wetness with the pad of his fingers, just to rub it over your soft spot with careful precision.

His hand gives one final flick to your nipple before joining the other between your thighs, raising the lower hem of the dress to fully expose your wetness under the bright lights of the fitting room, just so he can take a good look in the reflection of the mirror.

You’re no saint, but also no one has ever touched you like this before, and the pleasure is pushing you to do things you probably would never even think of when the two of you are apart (but maybe you will, from this day forward).

That is why you reach down to grasp the wrist of his other hand, redirecting him to where you want to feel his touch, before slipping your fingers through his as if to show him what to do to you.

You feel his lips move against your ear before you register him talking, “Princess, you want my fingers? Hm?”

At that, you couldn’t nod faster, waiting for his touch to finally skim your opening, and once it does, you know he understands how much you need him, cause you see him raise his fingers as if to take a double look at the viscous liquid now wetting his skin. He rubs it over you then, spreading it on top of your clit to make his other hand work smoothly.

He stops right before he could slip in, making you whine in disagreement. “Need to hear you say it, baby.”

All these pet names are new to you, he usually sticks to one a day, trying them out on his tongue before throwing the chosen one at you with the most annoying tone he could muster to, simply put, annoy the fuck out of you, as he does with pretty much everything else.

But the way he’s saying them now, between rushed breaths and a voice so strained that nearly makes you believe he’s the one being played with, does unspeakable things to you.

So you give in like you’ve learned to do with him lately. “R-rannie, please, want you… to touch me.”

“What do you need me to do, pretty? Speak up, use your big girl’s words.”

“Need your fingers. Inside me.” You feel like the air in the dressing room is thinning out, and you need to get this done as fast as possible.

That’s until his pointer slips past your hole. The moment his other fingers resume their rubbing over your bundle of nerves, while he’s opening you up, that’s when you actually start praying for time to stop.

Maybe if his hands were to leave your frame now you would crumble to the ground and die. That’s a new fear you have just unlocked because you don’t think you could ever go back to how life was before he made you feel what you’re feeling right now.

Alive.

Like every nerve ending is tingling and responding to the sweet sounds he’s making, or maybe the ones he’s pulling out of you. You don’t know what makes you more turned on, the effect you have on him, or the grip he has on you.

He starts moving his lone finger in and out, gently, testing out how far he can reach before you clench around him in pain.

He rubs over the ridges of your walls looking for something, trying out different patterns, and bumping against the outside of your hole with the palm of his hand to stimulate all of you once he slips completely inside, reaching as deep as his long digit permits.

At first, it doesn’t feel like much, you can tell he’s an expert but he’s just getting to know you. You think the feeling of fullness alone is enough to get a kick out of you, as long as he keeps massaging your clit in a, now, slower motion, as if he has nothing to rush about, not one care in the world. But it creeps up on you when you least expect it.

You thought he oversold himself with that oozing confidence that he sports 24/7, but as he starts laying open-mouthed kisses over your neck, running up its column, until he finds your sweet spot nested just below your ear and right by your clenching jaw, so does his finger.

“Fuuck. Oh my fucking god.” you heave.

Yeah, his lips are a godsend, but the way he’s bumping against that one spot inside of you with the tip of his digit just now is downright delicious.

He builds up a rhythm then. Fucking into you with more force and confidence, not forgetting to hit that patch of skin even for a single time.

“You like that, uh?” he asks like he doesn’t know, pressing his mouth against the underside of your jaw to drag his tongue along your salty skin, moaning at the taste. He asks as if you’re not clenching around his finger like your life depends on it, as if you want to capture it and hold him inside you to never feel empty again.

He realizes you need more, and he wants to give you his cock. Wants to stuff you full to the brim, cause he can feel how greedy your cunt is, so he knows you would eventually take him all inside, no matter how big.

You’re thinking the same, imagining how good it would feel to have him fuck you against the mirror that’s fogging up in front of you. You’re seeing the moon and the fucking stars with the tip of his finger alone. You wonder if his cock is big enough to kiss that little spot just right with his leaky tip.

He leaves you little to wonder, with the way his hips are bumping against you from behind. You can clearly make out the size of his length, now fully erected, as it rubs against your ass.

“Ran, fuck, I need more!”

And you both know that, but he also knows how ridiculously tight you are, how much he would have to open you up to take his cock, how he might need to spend hours with his head between your legs, fasting on your wet cunt just to make you loosen up. He’d do that gladly, but not now, in this fitting room.

So he just joins his pointer with his middle finger, carefully trying to fit in a second one through your squeezing muscles.

“No, Ran-“ you’re ready to beg, get on the ground on your knees, and plead him to have his way with you.

This is so not like you.

Or maybe it was, all along. You just needed someone to free you at last.

“You’re not ready to take my cock yet.” His tone is firm like he’s trying to convince himself more than you. “I can barely fit two fingers in, pretty. You need to let me in, gonna make you cream around them, ‘kay?”

You swear the way he’s looking at you through the mirror alone is your undoing. You see his eyes running back and forth to your half-open ones, so you follow the gaze rolling over your exposed tits, heaving with your labored breaths, until reaching the apex of your thighs.

Two of his fingers are now plunging into your wet opening, the squelching sound being so loud to tint both of your cheeks red, and a ring of white collecting around the circumference of his digits, before dripping down your parted legs at the force of his thrusts. Your clit is still being rubbed raw, the intensity increasing with every passing minute, making you twitch in his firm grasp.

The whole picture is insanely erotic, something you haven’t even experienced in your fantasies yet.

It’s so intense that you feel your cheeks get wet from the unexpected tears now streaming down your face.

You’re a cryer, he’s elated.

You’re trying hard to muffle a scream, but Ran has you blocked in his grasp with both of his arms running over yours, so you have to turn and bite at the skin of his collarbone to do so, as you grip over his forearms, leaving behind the half-moon indentation of your nails.

He groans, letting his head lol back as you lick over the bruise; the skin has torn and you can taste the blood. As he speeds up the fingers that are massaging your clit, you realize that both of you might enjoy a little pain mixed with pleasure.

The overstimulation is so overbearing that you know you should’ve come long ago, but he’s taking you to such heights that you just can’t seem to let yourself go when alone in your bed you would have long given up and just taken a shitty orgasm as a win before retiring to sleep.

“Feel so- god, it’s so fucking good, Ran. Don’t stop, please please-“You don’t stop begging and he doesn’t stop thrusting, both his fingers and his hips behind your frame, chasing his orgasm against the plush of your ass.

He wants to pull his cock out of his pants and rub it against your skin. The dress has raised over the globes of your behind, he wishes he could just come all over it.

But he has no intention of ever slowing down his hands, not with the way you’re trembling against him, and not until you come, completely undone and fucked up from just two of his fingers.

You look so beautiful like this, with tears streaming down your reddening face, lips bitten, unfortunately not by him, and your cunt taking his fingers so well. Like the good girl he knows you are under all that sass.

He glances down at the scene one more time.

Your pussy is so pretty, glistening wet, he could finish right here and then.

He wants you to fucking come while screaming his name, no one else’s. He doesn’t care if they hear, he wants them to.

Ran wishes for more than just the clerks hearing you come undone for him.

At that thought something snaps inside of him.

“Who’s making you feel this good? Fucking tell me.” You snap out of the blubbering mess you’ve become, not because of the inexplicably angry tone of his request, but because he’s slowing down his movements and you were not expecting that.

Does he not know by now that you like his roughness? You need to come so badly.

“Please fuck don’t stop, please-“

“I said who’s making you feel this fucking good.” Ran doesn’t like to think he’s a jealous guy.

He’s The Haitani Ran, after all. There has never been any need for him to be.

But now that he has tasted heaven, here in this tiny dressing room with you, he doesn’t think he can stop.

He wants to make you his, and if that means he has to deprive you of your very first orgasm given by someone else so that you can come back running for more, so be it.

“You, Ran! Fuck it’s all you! You make me feel so go-” The slap that resonates in the small space it’s the thing that stops you from completing your praise.

Ran’s fingers have stopped moving inside of you completely, and his other hand has raised to slap your spasming cunt.

A scream of his name finally does rip out of your parted lips. There’s no way you could’ve avoided that.

And the new canting of your hips that are raising to chase a ruined orgasm is to little avail, you just don’t seem to reach the promised land.

Against all odds, Ran doesn’t resume touching you, even his hips are now resting firmly some inches away from yours, not even letting you feel him anymore.

He presses father light kisses from the column of your neck up to the side of your jaw, retracing the path he had run with languish before, until he can sweetly kiss your burning cheek as if to gently bring you down from the orgasm that never happened while he removes his fingers from inside of you, leaving you eerily empty.

“I- I didn’t come.” you’re still trembling at this point, but for a different reason. You think he might have mistaken any of your reactions for you reaching your long-awaited end.

You’ve heard some stories, you know some guys can’t even tell right from left when it comes to a woman's body.

But you’re wrong about him. “I know.”

More kisses are left on the side of your face, you’d think the gesture sweet if it weren’t for the ever-present grin you can feel against your skin.

“What- why?” the way you’re asking nearly breaks his heart, you sound so confused, broken. But that’s exactly what he needs, right? He needs to be the one to guide you.

“Because I’m not letting you come. You’re not my girl.” Your eyes are big like saucers, and you’ve turned your head to stare at him, he thinks this situation is so fun he could giggle.

“But I thought-“

“Just leave him, pretty girl. You’ve already forgotten about him, haven’t you? It was my name you were screaming, it was my cock you were begging for. Leave him, and come back crawling to me. Maybe then, I’ll think about letting you come.”

He takes some steps further away from you then, cold but still careful enough to make sure you won’t fall the moment he lets you on your own, bringing his soiled fingers up to his mouth. You watch in silence as he licks them clean. He’s making a show of it, engulfing the digits in his mouth and sucking around them as he moans. You’re so turned on you could die right there and then.

He then hits you with a “Fuck, you taste like heaven, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

Before diving right back in, licking the skin one last time for safekeeping.

And now, you don’t know what’s worse: the cheshire grin stretching the pinkish of Ran’s lips while he’s downright degrading you after depriving you of an orgasm and, honestly, your self-respect;

Maybe it’s the fact that sweet Chifuyu’s face had only flashed behind your eyelids at his mention, after you’ve probably done one of the worst things you could ever do to him, or in your life, really;

… or the fact that you had to walk out of there, and wait for Ran to pay for the stained dress, cause he wouldn’t let you leave without making a scene. Knowing damn well that everyone in the shop had heard the two of you and is now looking with a mix of: reverence towards Ran, and hatred for you, by all women and men who rightfully wished to be in your stand.

At the end of the day, you were right. Fitting rooms would ever only leave you a crying mess, with clothes too little to fit; and shopping with Ran Haitani was hell made on earth.

At least you were convinced this was gonna be the last time you would ever accompany him – anywhere, really – or so you thought…

[non-plutonian-druid]

gee i wonder who that guy could be!

a little comic of @wifeguy-luther's fic theory of quantum superposition, from the end scene of the first chapter. i love some alternate universe meets canon shenanigans, and this fic is ALL alternate universe meets canon shenanigans.

[ID: an 8-panel comic set during a fic of The Umbrella Academy. The Hargreeves minus Five have found themselves in an alternate timeline and have asked Murphy (or rather, Murphy's boss) to help them fix their broken briefcase. The Hargreeves are mostly wearing amalgams of their outfits in seasons 2 and 3. Murphy is a blond woman wearing a black blazer and a pink button up.

Panel 1: Murphy is seated at a table with a pizza on it. She is holding a cup of soda and gesturing with both hands. She says "The professor wouldn't have been able to help you anyway. Her work is theoretical."

Panel 2: Sipping now from the cup of soda, Murphy continues, "She can't fix your time machine. She doesn't have an engineering background."

Panel 3: All five of the present Hargreeves. They look varying levels of shocked, worried, and outraged, except Klaus, who is reaching for a slice of pizza. In unison, they all (except Klaus) think "shit."

Panel 4: Murphy continues, "but I do." She adds, "My friend and I actually know a lot about this stuff."

Panel 5: The same shot of the Hargreeves, all looking less worried. Still, Luther looks skeptical and asks, "You and your friend know a lot about instant temporal-spacial travel?"

Panel 6: "Instant temporal-spacial travel?" asks another voice. The Hargreeves all look offscreen, surprised, except Klaus, who is eating pizza.

Panel 7: A hand belonging to an unknown person pulls out a chair. "Yeah," they say,

Panel 8: "I suppose I know a thing or two." The person is revealed; a man in a sweater vest who looks remarkably like Five. End ID.]

[dragonmarquise]

Rise & Devil Theory theories

ONCE MORE the BRC brain rot takes hold on this fine Thursday evening. This time thinking about the connection between Rise and Devil Theory!!

Why would there be a connection between her and them? Think about it: Devil Theory are known in-game for being aggressive assholes, even turning on their fellow writers by snitching on them to the cops. Not to mention the whole “were apparently working with/for Faux behind everyone’s backs” thing.

So then how the hell would Rise be able to apparently have free reign of Pyramid Island, Devil Theory’s own home turf, when DT themselves have been shown to be jerks to other writers? Especially other writers trying to move in on their turf, as seen in the game when the player starts going after them!

She was even blocking off most of the island until BRC got more REP. Ultimately trying to stop them like that would moreso benefit Devil Theory than Rise herself in the grand scheme of things.

AND SO, I present to you, a list of theories about the possible connections between Rise and Devil Theory, about how/why DT would make an exception for Rise! This is gonna be long, sorry, though at least it's not nearly as long as the two headcanon posts I did for Devil Theory and DOT EXE.

Also lot of fan fic material here, just saying, hee hee...

I have this in my headcanon tag just for ease of referencing it again later, but I’ll note which one of these is my own personal headcanon too. :>

Getting this out of the way, the possibility that Rise has no connection to Devil Theory at all. I still think they wouldn’t take too kindly to another writer moving around freely on their turf, even if she didn’t do any graffiti. So then in this case, maybe she somehow sneaks around and never gets noticed by them most of the time. But then that makes the gate guarding risky from her point of view. Though it’s also a bit funny with how she’s just out in the open after that, in a spot where one of the Devil Theory guys can challenge you anyways, so surely he would’ve seen her then, lol

Rise seems to make a big deal about social media, given she has you take pics of her for her missions. I imagine she’s likely a very big name online, so then maybe at least some of the Devil Theory members are fans of hers! They have an agreement, Rise can hang out on the island for “exclusive photos” and stuff, as long as she doesn’t do any graffiti herself. Of course, nothing about her getting other people to do graffiti for her (at least, in a way), given how she gets BRC to up their Rep before letting them into the rest of the island :P (This one is my personal headcanon btw!!)

The Devil Theory guys all have crushes on her (probably stemming from her social media status maybe??), and basically letting her on the island as a chance to ask her out. Resulting in them competing with each other over it. Rise is actually fully aware of this… and just messes with them, so she can still be on the island without having to commit to anything.

Alternatively, they are her simps and she basically pushes them around, which is how she’s “allowed” on the island, she outright bullied them for it. Maybe they’re into that too, don’t judge them for it, lmao

Maybe the most potential for drama? Kinda? But one of the Devil Theory guys could actually be dating her, which explains why she’s being made an exception for being allowed on the island without getting harassed by the others.

An extension to the previous point, it’s a polycule! All the Devil Theory guys are actually dating each other and Rise is in on it too.

Just plain friendship is also an option of course! Maybe Rise and the Devi Theory guys go way back, and they just let her on the island as a favor, as long as she stays out of their way in terms of writer stuff.

Another option: Rise kicked all of their asses in a 1 on 4 fight, so they let her on the island out of respect to her. Probably-maybe the coolest option, tbh :D

Sort of a small subsection that can be applied to all of these: How does Rise chose to deal with Devil Theory being assholes, especially the whole “snitching to the cops” thing? There’s a few possibilities to consider:

First option: She actually didn’t know it was for real. She knows their reputation and the rumors, but she didn’t think it was actually true. In the game, talking to Tryce just before going to the island, he mentions that it’s a “rumor” that they snitch to the cops. So that only gets proven once you try to go after them yourself. Then in this case she breaks off from (or breaks up with) them, after learning the truth. Big potential for dramatic fic writing here! And character development in the aftermath at least on Devil Theory’s side of things, but maybe that’s just my own preference...

Second option: She definitely knew the truth, but turned a blind eye because it at least wasn’t affecting her directly. “Not my monkeys, not my circus” as they say. Not to mention, she probably had it in the back of her mind that her trying to say anything or convincing them to quit it could risk them snitching on her to the cops. In this case I imagine there’s at least some guilt on Rise’s part for not doing something sooner herself.

Third option, and I think the most exciting for both dramatic fic writing and potential character development on both sides: She absolutely knew what was going on the whole time, and even had them call the cops to help her out more than once!! If the truth ever got out on that, you can imagine her social media status would take a BIG hit… but again, excellent potential for character development for both Rise and Devil Theory in this situation, both of them learning to be better from this, at least imo ;u;

I think that’s all I got on this topic! What do you think? Any particular idea you personally like? Or do you have another situation that I haven’t listed here that would be fun to think about? Reply or reblog this with your thoughts and opinions!

No, seriously, please interact with this post, I don’t want to be alone in the Rise + Devil Theory brainrot, ahhh ;o;

[cowboylikeyouu]

For the WIP game, No Other shade of blue but you, please!

oh my, i completely forgot the wip game ahahah sorry for the wait, here you go:

i started working on this THREE YEARS AGO???? it's not even THAT long, but i always forget it exists for like 6 months before writing another 1000 words and then forgetting it again.

the premise is basically: steve & tony had a Thing™ during that period when pepper & tony had broken up, but then civil war happened and yeah. pepper & tony get back together, get married, have morgan, endgame happens as usual BUT: instead of tony, pepper dies. which is. . . cruel, i know, but hey, she was canonically part of the final battle so in theory she could've been the one to get the stones & do the snap lol. anyways, then it's just a lot of depressed tony taking care of morgan and refusing to accept help, until he caves in and calls up steve one day and yeah, then they have their very very slow getting back together arc, while they're raising morgan. there're gonna be a lot of shenanigans with other characters bc tony's slowly letting other people back in his life, so it's actually just gonna be a shit ton of avengers family feels. i also have a fully planned out winterhawk spin-off to this fic lol. idk if i'll ever finish writing it tho, i have about 15k and most of it was originally written in german. i DID translate it and i wrote some of the later stuff in english, but i'm still SUPER unhappy with it. i love my german writing SO MUCH, but it tends to lose its flow when i translate it :/

here's a small excerpt, the grammar might suck as well, my english skills were even poorer back then than they are now lmao

Steve ignored his words and pulled out a burner phone instead, placing it on the counter next to Tony. Only one number was registered in it. Tony paused momentarily and regarded the phone with an unreadable look before swallowing hard and turning back to his plate.  "Haven't we been through this already, Cap?" He said quietly as if his voice would fail him if he spoke louder.  The movements of his hand holding the sponge became increasingly erratic, and Steve couldn't stand it anymore. Without thinking much, he put one hand on Tony's arm in an attempt to soothe him and stop his movements before using his other hand to carefully pull the plate from his clenched fingers and place it on the towel next to the sink. This time, Tony didn't even try to free himself from Steve's grip. "Maybe you're gonna use it this time," Steve responded and pushed the phone a little closer to Tony with his free hand.  Tony looked up from the phone to meet Steve's eyes, a sad smile on his lips. "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think you and I were on such good terms the first time," he said, even more quiet than earlier.  Brown eyes that stirred so much more in Steve than he would ever admit stared into his, and for a moment, it felt like 2016 all over again. Like the time when Pepper and Tony had broken up due to personal reasons, the time when Steve had spent his days in Tony's building and his nights in Tony's bed, wasting time on kisses and sex and late-night promises. Like that brief, dreamlike period when everything had been okay for a few months. The calm before the storm that the Sokovia accords brought to their lives and their relationship. Then Tony looked away, and the moment shattered.  Steve found himself back in the present, where Tony and Pepper were no longer together because Pepper was simply no longer there, where the peaceful intimacy existed only in memory, and where the events in Leipzig and Siberia and the months without contact that followed continued to stand between them like an impassable wall. Steve didn't regret siding with Bucky at the time. He didn't regret wanting to protect his best friend, who had returned after seventy years, he’d do it again without thinking twice. But he regretted the naturalness with which he had thrown away Tony and all they had in the months before. He regretted more than anything not giving a rational thought to find a compromise that would allow him to keep them both in his life.

send me more asks about my wips if u want !!

[hazbinhappy]

Hey just saw you had hazbin hotel match ups open! I’m a trans man (he/him pronouns) for sexuality I don’t really have a definite answer I’m open to all with a small preference to more feminine presenting people!

For personality and what not I’m told by friends I’m either chaotic neutral or chaotic evil lol, I’m decently slow to open up maybe saying one or two words and over all being pretty quiet but once I open up you gotta tape my mouth shut to get me to shut up (though actually I do enjoy the feeling of tape over my mouth I blame autism for that) I make a lot of sexual jokes (constant “that’s what he/she/they said and other stuff) along with that I have a pretty major sailor mouth as well I can be pretty sarcastic in addition I can be pretty slow as well I can be a bit all over the place which you might be able to see here idk lol! For stuff I enjoy doing I really love visual arts (I enjoy painting, been doing stuff with clay, digital art, trying to figure out animation) I also very much enjoy writing (I have I think it was 20+ unfinished fics on ao3 lol) been trying to figure out how to bake, and idk I have an obsession with plushies (please send help they completely cover my bed when I lay them all out) for stuff I enjoy it’s a bit harder since I constantly move around one thing to another like unless someone is with me I’ll start a show or movie watch the first five minutes then do something else unless I was already a fan of it, I will say I do enjoy the weird kid stuff like the bendy franchise and I know the lore of fnaf pretty well (until security breach when robot Gregory theory came out I gave up) tbh not much for stuff I hate I’m a pretty open person and don’t really hate a lot of stuff besides the word moist (it’s the one word that sounds like what it is and I hate the texture of that kinda stuff to and I can feel the word) it is the one thing I actively hate. For appearance while I don’t have an active drawing of my sinner look I don’t have much other then I picture being goat like (fucking love goats) and not really important but dying my hair constantly like how I do irl. Also even though yes I am a trans man I still like wearing skirts and dresses because damn it if I can’t be a pretty man then I don’t want to be a man (that is very much a lie I am still a man even if I won’t be able to wear my dresses and skirts)

Also one last important thing I don’t want to be matched up with Husk (I see him as a dad and I don’t want to deal with being paired up with my father) nor do I want to be paired up with Angel (I ship him and Husk so I don’t want to be paired up with other father) also no Lucifer I feel like if I get paired up my friend will kill me I wish I was joking she is only willing to threaten me when I do much as joke about taking them. Anyways have an amazing day/night I hope this was enough!

Your Matchup is.....

Velvette! You gotta here me out before I dish out the headcanons and mini-blurb!

Looks at that cutie god I love her!

Anyways! I matched y'all up for multiple reasons! Have you seen the girl? She may be put together but Respectless just screamed out that she is chaos when need be and chaotic people love to be together (I mean look at Hell lmao). I think she wouldn't mind someone who is slow to open because she it lets her have more time for you to model and work with her! She wouldn't mind the sexual jokes and curses or sarcasm because that is up her alley (I mean Valentino is literally one of her colleagues I don't think she cares too much for him lmao).

okay onto the headcanons because those will explain better, no?

It may sound weird but I think Velvette would go to art shows to get inspiration! Fashion shows are actually a way to express and test what you can do with fashion so art shows are a great way to get inspiration

And wowie lookie there, a certain artist just happens to peak her interest a lot! She may either personally chat with you or send an email asking to collaborate on some pieces.

I wish in the show they played more with Velvette and the fashion instead of the social media. I think she'd be a boss in the artistic fashion and practical fashion

I swear this is important: Shae Bishop makes ceramic clothing and some of his work was in my school's art gallery!

why is that important? well i think it would be pretty cool if that was something you proposed to Velvette! She'd be unsure because "isn't that clay? isn't that breakable?" and it's a whole explanation about how it's for the art not actual long-time wear

so that brings you guys closer!

she did consider making a deal with you to permanently keep you around but you just kept coming back on your own so she didn't really feel the need if you just came back all the time

i think the dating would be a mutual understanding, but you'd ask and she'd be "of course, why wouldn't we be? (eyeroll)" (she was actually nervous to ask)

if/when you moved in with her she made space in her studio for you to do any kind of artwork because she wants to spend any kind of time even if she was too busy yelling at her models and artists

she may not always have her listening ears on but whenever you say something that catches her interest she'll respond (she'll remember bits of other things you say, she doesn't tune you out, she just cherry picks her responses)

She doesn't mind the plushie collection as long as there is room for her to cuddle with you. if not they are banished to the shelf.... maybe a couple on the bed.

she loves to dress you up in whatever is the latest fashion or even your preferred. she'd match in any way at any moment.

she will tease and bully at any moment but it's her love and she never means it. plus there is plenty of compliments that cancels it out.

idk why but you know how people like to have their oc's with horns have jewelry on them and even chains that connect? she'd find that so cute and would make some in different styles (like a bracelet for the day)

"Velv-"

"Can you BELIEVE the nerve of these ladies! Prancing around like their ideas are any good! Wrist ruffles? Fifty layers? What are we? Doing a fuckin' blast to the past!" Velvette kept ranting on about her workers before you rolled her eyes.

"You're about to get a blast from the past if you don't get off my table. I was working." You gave her a deadpan look.

She gave you the middle finger before scooting you over on YOUR chair as you worked.

"Well, babe, I have no clue why they would think that is fashion? I mean, things from the past making a comeback? Neverrrr-"

"I know-! Oh Fuck You!"

[satashiiwrites]

WIP Wednesday

So I got today to write 6k and finish this chapter if I wanna stay on track…. And I got stuff scheduled all day.

This is not looking promising… maybe by the end of the week?

Tagging @quietborderline @missanniewhimsy @megasaurus-regina @monsterrae1 @westernlarch @tkwritesdumbassassins @outtoshatter @muffinsandsweets @rosieposiepuddingnpie with no pressure as always. This is just for fun and to keep me on track.

Banner by radio chatter.

From: Family, Familia, ‘Ohana, Chapter 10: FUBAR, Danny’s POV

Fandom: 911, H50, SWAT

Pairings: Buddie, McDanno, platonic deacon/hondo

Fic summary:

When one family seems lost another comes back from the past. But does Buck want to return to the past or live in the present? And does his present lead to a future he wants? Only he can answer these questions but Steve at least will be there to support him.

Tags/warnings: kidnapped eddie, first draft, NavySeal!buck, alternative universe, timeline what timeline?, set vaguely season 3 911 and I’m not giving a time frame for H50 (because it wouldn’t make sense anyway). Written while sleep deprived.

Danny rubs his temples, fighting off a looming headache. He’s been staring at his own terrible cramped handwriting for hours. Steve’s fingers replace his, and he lets his eyes close with a groan as Steve rubs his neck and temples. 

“You got another headache?” Steve’s voice is gentle and soft. He’s practically sitting on Danny’s desk as he hovers, but Danny doesn’t care. They’re alone in the office, and if Steve wants to touch him, Danny’s going to let him. 

“Yeah.”

“I can get you some ibuprofen or Tylenol?”

“Took some with the Alka-Seltzer earlier.” Danny will pay for Steve to keep up the neck massage he’s giving. Steve’s fingers are digging into the knot that had been forming between Danny’s shoulders, and when it releases, he bites his tongue to stop from moaning. 

“You didn’t eat.” There’s disapproval and worry in Steve’s tone. 

“Wasn’t hungry.”  

He wasn’t.  

“This has been sitting out too long now. Do you want me to order something?”

“Let me rephrase. I am not hungry right now, nor was I.”

Steve chuckles, and his fingers find another knot, working into Danny’s left shoulder that he’d slept on last night on the sofa for a few hours. He’s ignoring Danny’s grumbling like usual. 

“These headaches of yours worry me.”  

Danny opens his eyes at this. Steve is close—closer than he’d thought. He’s wrapped himself around Danny, and they’re not touching other than where Steve’s hands are still rubbing his shoulders, but he can feel his body heat because Steve is that close. 

Steve’s observing Danny, waiting for him to say something about the concern he’d voiced, and Danny is floundering with what to say. He stupidly lands on, “They’re just headaches.”

“You’ve been getting a lot of them.”

“I get them when I’m stressed.”

“You get them less when you sleep over.”

“That’s because I sleep better at your place,” slips out before he can take the words back. 

“Why?”

It’s an innocuous question. Why? Why, indeed.  

He has his theories. Danny had slept better when he was still married and sharing a bed with Rachel, and he could roll over and cuddle with her, listening to her breathe. He slept worse when alone because he hated being alone. It’d never been a problem until he and Rachel had started having problems, and she’d kicked him to the couch most nights, denying him coldly. 

Danny was like a dog that needed a companion or otherwise would tear things apart out of anxiety—he needed another heartbeat to listen to in the night. Sleeping at Steve’s and knowing he was just upstairs or hearing his footsteps when he got up at night to do his patrols around the house that Steve swore he didn’t do but Danny had watched him do every night he’d slept over unless Steve was drugged or concussed… there was a rhythm to those nights. They usually watched a movie after dinner or a game and sat too close on the couch because Danny was too tactile, and Steve seemed to crave touch as much as Danny needed to give it.

Confessing this to Steve, however, was probably not in Danny’s best interest. Knowing Steve, he’d have Danny moved in by the end of the week, and Danny needed just a little bit of space for when Steve would inevitably find either another woman or Cath would finally wander back his way. 

Danny didn’t need a front-row seat to Steve choosing a leggy brunette or blonde over him. He was already going to be too close, and it would hurt when it finally happened. If Steve is talking to Cath, then… she will probably come back at some point. Danny hadn’t known they’d still been talking after she left him in Afghanistan a year ago to go chasing after missing villagers and hadn’t wanted Steve’s help. 

[nine-fingered-entity]

one piece live action episode 1 thoughts:

yeah, i'm months late. who cares?

also. full disclaimer: i have both a huge sentimental connection to one piece (first ever manga, first read when i was like. 8.) and am an enjoyer of it current day (have read the whole thing 3 times. can and will bitch about it at length but genuinely do love it. have posted like. 45k worth of one piece fic.) so absolutely biased as hell.

anyways

show is silly goofy which is correct. one piece is silly goofy first and foremost. just relax, enjoy the ride, accept the cartoon shonen logic. once i did that i had a good time.

i 'm actually a fan of the changes made to pacing. breaking up the first chapter with all the luffy flashback lore makes a ton of sense for live action and makes more space for present-day stuff. we don't need to know all that right away. we'll get to it. episode was still a bit rushed but tbh the manga had that issue too with the early chapters (had a lot to do and oda did not yet have free rein to bloat)

along the same lines, introducing nami and zoro at the same time makes a lot of sense. gives us more time with both of them. get to see nami in her element a bit more-very cool. also the map gives them all more of a reason to be in shell town causing havoc.

i especially like the reworking of how zoro and luffy meet and how zoro teams up with him (not a crew! yet!). it always kind of bothered me that luffy somewhat coerced him into joining in the OG - thematically that was a cognitive dissonance, so luffy freeing him without expectation felt a) more luffy and b) will make zoro eventually joining more meaningful imo

do sort of wish that they'd somehow managed to keep zoro stubbornly hanging there starving for like. days. because i think that's a really good intro to his character and what's important to him but at least he still managed to eat the floor rice. like overall i think the changes were a good idea but they do give a different spin on him. (i think he accepted being freed too easily in this one. but. oh well.)

big fan of the alabasta foreshadowing. and zoro's opening scene. kind of ate ngl. cool to see things only offhandedly mentioned in the manga.

acting/writing. hm. i think some of the serious dialogue was a bit clunky and some bits the acting felt a bit...self conscious? sometimes luffy seemed a bit Too Self Aware/and not relaxed enough. during the sillier bits though i thought he did better and loosened up. same with zoro. no notes for nami though.

i was expecting to hate the rubber CGI but. did not mind it. fight scenes felt a bit silly but that's okay they are silly. (it is a plot point in the early manga that luffy fighting looks bizarre.)

fight scenes pretty decent, considering the medium change. three-sword style does just look flimsy live, unfortunately.

why is Garp here????????????????????

surprisingly faithful to all the important bits, honestly. we'll see where this goes. interested to see what they do with orange town now that the set-up has changed.

fun thoughts:

was that crocodile in the execution crowd? oda was apparently pretty involved in all this, so if that Was crocodile then that counts as evidence for my favorite One Piece theory. crocomom real?

spotted Foxy and Bellamy bounty posters, which imply both of them have been to the East Blue. interesting but probably inconsequential set-building. curious on what posters i missed.

my instagram ads keep showing me a one-hole zoro earring set (all three dangles but you only need one piercing) and i've never been more tempted. damn the algorithm.

huge fan of koby's hair

was jumpscared multiple times by british accents. which is on me and my USAmerican-ness.

unfounded guess but i bet they're going to change how kuina dies. please.

[imaginaryfriendcomic]

What I genuinely love about "Imaginary Friend" is the rather simple concept. With UT there are often deep and sometimes bloated themes and theories along with it since there is so much room for stuff in between the layers of the game (sometimes even layers when there aren’t any). They’re fine but sometimes I feel like less is more and better… (not to mention you don’t have to see and read any or too many credible sources for the theories to be on topic…) you need to know who Gaster is, his fate and his possible relationship with the Skeletons. The rest is explained in the fic itself.

I found the fic shortly after I finished my first play through (pacifist) and delving a little into the Gaster lore. Your fic really touched on the subjects I really enjoyed and it’s simple premise of Frisk befriending Gaster as they did with all the monsters was executed so well. The characters and topics in this flow rather naturally and the climax is interesting as it is rewarding!

It’s been a while since I read the fic but parts of it are still in my memory and I’m gonna reread the fic again soon.

To me, it’s natural for many people to be drawn into the fic and comic and I'm sure your dedication to see the comic through as long as you have definitely fills me (and so many others) with determination! ((Sorry I had to))

Thank you for your input! Yeah, it was a simple idea, after I wrote my first Undertale fic, which had a rather bittersweet ending, I really wanted Gaster to be saved. Originally, Imaginary Friend was going to be way shorter and his friendship with Frisk wouldn't have lasted so many chapters. But thanks to some other stories, I just really liked the idea of Gaster being Frisk's "imaginary friend", and then the characters slowly pick up the pieces.

And honestly I think this was one of the few long stories I actually finished. I gave up on many of them in the past. But Imaginary Friend made me feel so satisfied when it was over. Not only because of the positive reception, but it was a story I never wrote before. A story about a beautiful, platonic relationship that develops over time. It's a story about forgiveness and past trauma - which is also present in Sans' arc, as you'll see later in the comic.

I would say the comic adaptation is a love letter, really. I do try to improve a few things I didn't explore in the original story, mainly Frisk and Papyrus, the latter not receiving a lot of focus in comparison to Sans, but it's not to say the comic is "better". It's just me revisiting the original fic. And while I wish the updates weren't so slow, I think they also help me take some time to develop the changes I want to make.

Anyway, thanks again for your support! And yeah, knowing how much you guys love this story and how much it means to me certainly fills me with determination. I've been having a hard time lately so reading these kind words are like a hug to me. <3

[danpuff-ao3]

Danni! For the Behind the Scenes ask --- 5 & 12!

Scarlet!! <3

5.) What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

MY OFFICE!!!!

Eddie (my partner) and I decluttered and reorganized our home recently. We still have some smaller projects to tackle, like the kitchen cabinets and the outdoor shed, but...the point is, we've made a lot of progress!

(Forgive the rambling but I'm really happy and wanna talk about it!)

Our space has been super cluttered and chaotic for a while because my partner's work hours were insane, and they've only been slightly less insane the past year. And over time, my own motivation to stay on top of things, basically alone, waned. But late November/early December we were super motivated to get moving and we did! Every weekend we'd tackle another room. Donated a bunch of excess stuff. Got supplies we needed to set up some stuff. And voila!

When we moved in, what is meant to be a dining room (but neither of us has use for a dining room) was made into a computer room, and our spare room was...basically a library? But for our fantasy books specifically. But our needs changed over time, so now the dining room is my office! And the spare room is his fantasy/MTG/DnD/Nerd Cave.

So rather than just my desk crammed into the computer room (slash junk room, basically) I now have my very own space! My HP bookcase is in there, a bookcase for my astrology books, a desk bookcase for reference books. I have various figures all around, and my mugs on the wall, and SNARRY ART. SO MUCH SNARRY ART. I AM SPOILED BY SNARRY ART AND I NEED MORE. Ahem. Anyway. Basically I have a very special space and it's perfect and it brings me so much joy and I'm all teary just typing about it.

ANYWAY. I now have the Ultimate Writing Space. But I've not properly used it for writing yet. 😂 It's only been properly set up for a few weeks and I've not written much since I submitted White Lies & Silver Bells.

Wait wait I lied I wrote Again last weekend 🤣 So it might be more accurate to say I've not written much there yet. And tbf I was fangirling too much about writing fic for A_Loveunlaced's art to properly appreciate the experience. 😅

But it's great! The aesthetic is great. I have much inspiration from all the Snarry. I have candles to set the mood! I have comfort in the layout, from my laptop stand, to my ergonomic keyboard and my vertical mouse, and my footrest! I have lots of lighting options between my whimsical string lights and the mood lighting from our Philips Hue bulbs. I have much coffee! And since my office is what should be the dining room, it's so close to my InstantPod!!!! Just a few steps, grab a mug along the way, and COFFEE!

Ideally I'd have some ambient noise playing. I have enough room to prop up my ipad and pull up YouTube to pull up a video from MiracleForest or one of the Hogwarts Pomodoro videos. That way I have chill noise that isn't distracting and nice imagery!

Idk I have everything I need in one little area and it has such a good vibe and it genuinely brings me so so much joy. I still have a few art pieces to hang but once it's all finally finished I plan on sharing pics with everyone!! 😁

And with luck, I'll get more writing done there this weekend!! I'm getting a head start on Thon 😎 (in theory, anyway.)

12.) Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Omg!! Probably. But what is it...? 🤔

The big one that I can feasibly write soonish would be soulmates! Even though Snarry are soulmates so every Snarry fic is a soulmate fic, but I digress. But I have an actual idea for one!! Mega angst and wrongness and weirdness. I've made a few attempts but the time isn't right yet. It's not come out right so far, so I just poke at it every few months and see how I'm feeling about it.

Others I have vague desire to write, but have no actual ideas for yet, would be like amnesia!! I want a good amnesia fic where Harry forgets Severus and has a super negative reaction to his present life and Severus being all heartbroken and defensive...😌

Also! I'd love to write a case fic, I just don't know that I have the right skillset for that. Or maybe it just requires more time and thought than I can really give right now. Who knows! But I really do need more Snarry case fics in my life.

Oh! I actually do have an idea for an arranged marriage fic, but I'm still hacking out the details on that one.

OH!! And a sex pollen fic I need to write.

Okay so I have more Actual Ideas than I thought I did, oops. But yeah! Lotsa cool stuff to play with one day. But I don't really wanna pump out stories for the sake of writing an amnesia fic, but to have something really solid that I'm really excited about. And even when I do have ideas, other ideas are ones I'm more jazzed about and steal my attention...😬 So I'll get there one day! Maybe!

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

Answered: 1, 4, 23; 5, 12

[hwalilac]

Hello dear! I saw your post before you deleted your original blog and wanted to write this up, because as someone who writes on this platform as well, I definitely have spent way too much time on here and have put way too much thoughts into the things you also wonder about. I know how it’s like when you feel like you have done everything right but still aren't getting the results that you want. It’s very frustrating, I would understand, because too many of my days have gone into constantly checking my notifications and being met with absolute disappointments.

But I think I’ve been here long enough? For me to get somewhat of a good grasp of how things work. So allow me to ramble on about a topic I definitely should have not spent that much time dissecting, but will do anyway.

Let’s establish some points here:

I don’t think it’s a secret to anyone that writing smut is the fastest and easiest way to gain followers. And no, that is not a jab at smut writers. I, myself, also write smuts. You will see that most fics with lots of notes contain smuts or is pwp. Why is that? Well, the obvious answer is that us humans are horny creatures lmao. Most of us want something quick and fulfilling, and usually, smut does that. Which is why 1k-2k word fics with smut will always get more notes than a 10k-20k fic with an actual story with some smut. This is significant for my next point.

That leads to the thought of, how come some authors, despite having less followers, have more/about the same interactions? Again, this is not a jab toward you, but is more of a base and theory that can potentially give you more ideas of your situation. I notice that you write a lot of short fics with smut which relates back to my first point--so that results in a large following gain. The problem is like you said, these people that follow you do not interact. Because good chances are, they just see you as another person who writes about sex, follow you, then go on their day. And although we should be grateful for all of our followers, in retrospect, these are not the ideal readers you want lol. What you want are loyal readers.

That’s why authors with less followers have more interactions. Because although they don’t have the notes or the numbers, they have a small group of people who are genuinely interested in their past, present, and future works. And I guarantee that any authors you can think of at the top of your head who have a group of loyal readers probably write series and they probably average in length about 50k-150k words, and each chapter word counts anywhere in between 5k to 20k. And I would say their works are usually a combination of smut and other kinds of genre that blends in just right. If not, most of their fics have a high word count with a lot of things going on.

These authors get the interactions because there’s a lot to discuss, especially with the word count (also if they update very often at least once every week or two). And I think that may also be what is preventing you from getting regular interactions, though if that’s what you’re comfortable writing you shouldn’t change anything to get a little validation in return.

But my point is, there will just be some authors who hits right in all areas. From the word count, to the genre, to the actual writing, and sometimes, it really is what it is. You should still always write what you want to write, because what’s the point if there’s no fun in it? Keep going and you may find your own little niche.

I have so many more little extra points or other contributing factors I can make, but this is already getting long enough. So have a good day!

I agree with what you said about how it’s just a quick read. Yeah I honestly don’t know what to reply with, but I’ll take these points into consideration for the future. I’m already planning on releasing my fics on AO3 as well, but I might try some other stuff.

[evelhak]

🍈 and 🍌 for the fic questions

Thank you for the juicy questions!

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Well, I feel like anyone I write extensively about is my blorbo I guess, even though I haven't really used that word and I'm not completely clear on all its implications. Anyway, I feel like people always ask me about Kuroko, and I don't get a chance to talk about Kagami alone enough, so I'll talk about him this time, since the two are the characters whose POVs I write the most.

One of my favourite recurring tropes with Kagami is his dreams. Because he's not super articulate or in touch with his subconsciousness, but has good instincts he can't quite explain because of that, I often take him to his subconsciousness through dreams when I need him to figure out something, or I need to relay something to the reader that Kagami knows but can't explain: the dream serves as a visual/physical manifestation of things that with characters who have the required level of conceptual thinking, I can just write as verbal thought processes. But with Kagami I have to get creative, and it's really worth it. His dreams are some of my favourite parts of my writing because they present themselves in a unique way. Kuroko has some complex dreams too that are like... intellectually stimulating for me, but Kagami's dreams have this unparalleled sense of physicality to me, because his deep dive into immaterial needs to be driven by the material for him to make any sense of it. I'm very much the opposite so it's an experience I can't access in many ways outside of writing someone like him.

I also love to explore how intensely Kagami experiences things. I'm not sure that side of him always gets enough recognition, outside of basketball, but I really enjoy elaborating on it, the highs and lows he can work himself into and how his fire can really burn him too.

Also I love to focus on how Kagami is Not Stupid. How he has the kind of simplistic wisdom and practical intelligence that doesn't even register to people as intelligence. How his type of thinking is exactly what solves the problem sometimes while the more "intelligent", conceptual, logical, complex thinking characters are still stuck in the "introduction to theory" or something. Kind of related to that, I also like to explore how being treated as stupid, but also too loud and too much, has affected his self-perception.

On a more clear headcanon department, I interpret him as demi- and pansexual and having ADHD so those things kind of affect everything even if they aren't directly talked about so often.

I also like to explore Kagami's identity regarding how Japanese and how American he is, how his experiences have shaped him, how it shows up from ideas and thoughts to the mundane stuff. How his humour might sometimes be more American and things like that. I also like to show him cooking more than just Japanese food, because I feel like the reason he learned was because his dad was so busy even when they were living together, so Kagami must have at least in part learned to cook from TV so it doesn't make sense to me that his cooking repertoire wouldn't be somewhat international.

Which brings me to the dad thing. I like to explore that too, especially in the later parts of my fic series. I'm on the side of the fandom that saw Kagami and thought his behaviour screams someone who essentially had to raise himself. Not completely of course, but his dad wasn't as present as he should have been (and for me his mom wasn't there at all). I see his dad as someone who does love Kagami and gave him a lot of freedom, but not always in a positive sense. Kagami could sense that his busy dad would be less burdened if he could look after himself, so any time his dad asked him if he could handle something on his own, Kagami felt like he had to show that he could. His dad did ask genuinely, and would not have left Kagami on his own if he had said he needed help, but he was also not mature enough to realise that sometimes children will do just about anything to please their parents, and the responsibility of deciding whether or not a child needs a parent shouldn't be left on the child to decide like that. Anyway, there's obviously a lot to that topic, so I'm not going to ramble more now.

🍌 In your opinion, what's the funniest joke/reference/pun you've made in a fic?

I saw you say it's one of the top ten most difficult questions to ask from a writer with no sense of humour... but it's definitely just as difficult a question for a writer who loves trolling characters, and lives and breathes references. Also I have written so much fic that there is no way I can remember my funniest jokes, plus my favourite ones are either so spoilery I don't want to put them on a Tumblr post, or they pan out, only hitting the punch line hundreds of thousands of words later. My best ones are so elaborate the only way to get everything out of them is to find them yourself.

Also, you just can't expect me to decide, so I'm going to give you a few that I like, ones that need the least explaining.

Basically my entire Into The Woods AU fic Anything Can Happen is one big joke/reference, but I'm gonna give you a few highlights. The whole fic is in First Person and Kagami's POV, and it's essentially crack. Obviously the jokes only really work as long as you know Into the Woods in detail. So. Sorry, if you don't.

The following scene is referencing the song "Agony". Kagami and Aomine have just had a sword fight and argued about their relationship problems.

(part of conversation removed for spoilers)

The voice at the end is "the narrator" because there has to be one in Into The Woods.

I think Midorima and Takao are pretty funny as the baker couple, one of whom can't even bake of course. Kagami and Aomine have been walking through the woods, when they hear these two arguing.

I thought Kise would make the most hilarious Jack.

Then I have my Fantasy AU/Fem Kuroko fic where the GoM are knights and Kuroko is a girl in a tower, before joining them. The world is threatened by the mysterious Nothing which the knights are fighting. This story is literally riddled with canon references that I think are funny, but here's a scene between Kuroko (in a tower) and Aomine (down by the window) which I think gets at the heart of my humour with references.

First Person, Kuroko's POV. Also everyone goes by their first name in this fic.

I also thought this name thing and Akashi's riddle was quite funny on multiple levels and I'm still salty no one has figured it out and told me it's funny. : D

I think this one might be a little too on the nose, and like author's voice is coming through/breaking the fourth wall, which I usually hate, but I still find it funny this time. It's from my fic The Other Things. Riko has tied people together with a ribbon as a trust excersice and these four are working on their issues while trying to play basketball, tied in pairs. Kagami's POV.

Lol I hope some of that was at least mildly amusing. It's actually difficult to find things that are funny without more context. Anyway, this should give you an idea of my sense of humour.

[http-handong]

pinned post?? pinned post.

hello! I'm Eleanor/Ellie/Elle/any other nicknames you can think of that I like! I use they/she pronouns, although I do present as mainly femme!

quick facts:

• I have autism and am working to learn how to unmask and like, be whoever I am underneath that! I have special interests in: psychology, sociology, kpop (dreamcatcher specifically), writing, fantasy novels (sjm and leigh bardugo), fnaf, video games (bg3 right now) and history. I like talking about all this, please talk to me.

I also use tone tags about 50% of the time and ask they be used with me, but can and will use them more especially with people who specify they need/want them!

• I also have ADHD, combined type and am unmedicated. yeah yeah

• I am 18, in college for a sociology degree and moving to Europe in about 12-15 months

• I have a lot of mental and physical health issues, including (but not limited to): anxiety, depression, c-ptsd, chronic pain, pots, daily headaches, frequent migraines and potential borderline personality disorder

• I should be in therapy but my anxiety is too severe for me to make an appointment. ironic innit.

• I work at a Barnes and Nobles, it's very nice.

• I am an anarcho-communist and a registered member of the cpusa, and while I am personally a pacifist, I support the actions of oppressed people in their struggle against their oppressors and will support the revolution when/if I happens however I can outside of direct violence on my behalf. Don't like that? dni then <3

• speaking of dni- don't interact if: -14 or +25 (unless I've given permission and we know each other) if you're homophobic, xenophobic, a zionist, racist, ableist, bigot, along with basic dni criteria but also non-political/right-wing leaning/conservatives, supporter of autism speaks, trans-medicalist

as well as if you expect people to educate you rather than educating yourself (google is free), not bothered by living in a capitalist society, "everyone's a bit autistic", soojin-anti, supports kris wu or amber liu, can't hold faves accountable, refuse to call others by preferred names/respect pronouns/neos, cannot hold a nuanced and honest conversation about yourself and inherent biases, or refuses to partake in those types of conversations.

you can see my carrd for byf !!

• I am a kpop stan so some content will not be political or whatever and will be kpop based! I like dreamcatcher, billlie, loona, nmixx, gfriend, itzy, xg, and a lot of other groups you can see on my carrd

• I'm verbose !

• I make a lot of dark humor, dry/deadpan and sarcastic remarks as well as some self deprecating humor

• will use vent tags/other tags if needed if I ever post stuff like that !

• I am a writer, some content will be writing related (fics and stuff, as well as poems, essays, theories)

• I make pretty things and will also post them here

• I will accept good faith asks about things to educate and hold convos to help people on their leftist journey

• I might fluctuate between being active and being inactive, sorry

--------

if you've read all of this and still wanna follow, interact or be my friend? please do! I'm lonely ahaha

anyways that's all !! thanks for stopping by

- ellie

[yeetlegay]

AU where Presumed Straight Boy™️ Porsche is roomies with Presumed Bossy Trust Fund Baby™️ Kinn

This was supposed to be like three sentences and then I got carried away so now it’s like an extremely sloppy not-quite-fic that I should probably just dump in a Google doc and write up properly, but instead I’m presenting it like tumblr is a potluck and I brought a casserole made out of whatever’s in my fridge. 🤲 (Also this is all @iffervescent ’s fault for coming up with the idea for a fic about comphet Porsche doing one of those “straight guy bottoms for the first time” pornos, at which point I lost my mcfucking mind.)

Porsche is having lots of fun, casual hook-ups but lately girls can’t seem to get enough of his ass for some reason. And it’s not that he’s not game to try, he just doesn’t get what the big deal is bc he always assumed anal was overhyped. And anyway some part of him feels weird about having that much focus on him and his body. He likes making girls get off and being useful and his own pleasure is almost secondary to the rush and satisfaction of making someone else feel good.

But this is the third time in a month that a girl’s asked—actually more like begged—to peg him, and he’s a people pleaser, okay? If ass play is such a turn-on for so many girls, he should at least give it a fair shot.

So he does, and…well. It’s sort of a bust. The girl isn’t doing anything wrong, it’s all him. He clenches up tight as a clam as soon as the spotlight is on him, can’t relax or bear down or take deep breaths or anything. He doesn’t even really like getting blowjobs, always too distracted wondering what the girl is getting out of it, feeling bad that he’s letting her do all the work for what seems to him like very little reward.

Ass stuff is all those feelings plus more complicated ones, discomfort and confusion and a faint, twisting sense of shame that he knows is bullshit but can’t quite shake. And nice as the girl is, she’s still a stranger, and it’s still just a hook-up, and patience has a limit. So after it becomes painfully clear Porsche isn’t up for what she’s after, she gives up and lets him fuck her quick and matter-of-fact, and after that night she doesn’t text him again.

Porsche tries not to take it personally or be too bummed by what a tight-ass he apparently is. But one night a few weeks later, he’s snuck maybe one or two more drinks than he should’ve at his bartending shift, and Yok has to call his #RichKidsofInstagram roomie Kinn to come pick him up. Kinn does, huffing bitchily the whole time as he practically carries Porsche from the bar to the car, then from the car to their apartment.

Porsche is a sloppy drunk. He knows this, and really he should’ve learned better by now, but he’s in a funk about his ass now and his filter was never good to begin with. So it’s probably inevitable that he ends up opening his mouth and letting some truly embarrassing shit come out of it. He tells Kinn all about the girls who want to plow him, how he’s happy to let them in theory but in practice he’s been a total disappointment so far. “I wish that thing in porn was real,” he slurs against Kinn’s shoulder as Kinn fumbles for his keys.

“What thing?” Kinn says, with the tone of someone already wishing he hadn’t asked.

“You know,” Porsche says nonsensically. “The thing. Where they have, like, a teacher. The whole oh no he’s an ass virgin, we’ll have to give him lessons.” He pitches his voice a little higher for dramatic effect, but Kinn is unimpressed.

“You watch porn about guys who are ass virgins?” Kinn twists the key in the lock and tugs Porsche inside.

“For educational purposes,” Porsche says, waving the question away with one hand as he stumbles behind Kinn into the living room. “You’re missing the point.”

“Which is?” Kinn shoves lightly at his shoulders, but Porsche’s balance is so pitiful, he keels back onto the couch with a loud oof, landing on one of Kinn’s plush, overpriced throw pillows.

“I want, like, a teacher. To teach me about ass stuff. Oh!” Porsche tries to figure out how to raise his head from the very comfortable pillow, but it’s too hard to do that and talk at the same time, so he picks talking. “Not a teacher. A coach. You know, like they have on that show The Voice. Just somebody helping me with my—I don’t know, routine or whatever. And then I go out and try it with somebody every week.”

“Does that mean you can get voted off?” Kinn’s voice is swimming somewhere overhead. Somebody’s unbuttoning Porsche’s shirt, which is fine because he’s sweating.

“Don’t try being funny,” Porsche warns him. “That’s my job. You buy the throw pillows, I tell the jokes. If you say anything funny, I’ll throw up all over you.”

“I’ll need to buy more throw pillows after this,” Kinn says grimly. “You smell like the inside of a vodka bottle.”

Porsche barely hears him. He’s thinking about that pretty girl from a few weeks ago, how disappointed she must’ve been that he couldn’t give her what she wanted. He feels ridiculous, a little pathetic even. It’s just his ass, for fuck’s sake. It can’t be that hard. Gay guys do it all the time—

“Wait!” Porsche’s eyes snap open. Two blurry, criminally good-looking Kinns sway in front of him. “I need a gay guy,” Porsche announces to him.

“For what exactly?” Kinn scoops his hands under Porsche’s shoulders, lifting him off the couch until he’s sitting up enough to slide the shirt off his arms.

Porsche lets him do all the work, too concentrated on keeping his head up. “Gay guys know lots about anal. I could find one and make him my coach.”

“You know, it’s not just gay guys who do anal,” Kinn says, struggling with one of Porsche’s arms.

“Well, duh.” Porsche tries rolling his eyes, but it immediately makes his stomach roll too, so he stops. “I’m trying to do anal, and I’m not gay. But they’re supposed to be, like, experts, you know? Like the OG connoisseurs of butt stuff through the centuries. If I’m gonna do it, I wanna learn from the masters.”

Kinn finally gets Porsche’s arm free of the uncooperative sleeve. “So you’re just planning on propositioning some random gay guy to be your ass play coach?”

Porsche frowns. “Well, no, I guess not. It’d have to be someone I know. Maybe I won’t freeze up if it’s a friend with me instead of a hook-up.” He groans and drops his head. “But I don’t know any gay guys!”

Kinn’s hands go still, even though Porsche’s remaining sleeve is still caught around his elbow. There’s a long pause. “Porsche,” Kinn says finally, sounding like he’s already regretting what he’s about to say. “You know I’m gay, right?”

The words take a few seconds to register, and when they do they don’t make any sense. Porsche lifts his head, bleary-eyed. “Huh?”

“I’m gay,” Kinn repeats slowly.

Gay. Kinn. Gay Kinn. Kinn gay. Kinn? Gay?

Porsche blinks at him. “I told you not to say anything funny,” he says.

And then he does, in fact, throw up all over him.

***

In Kinn’s defense, he hadn’t actually intended to offer lessons in anal to the idiotic roommate he’s been pining after for six months.

He’s sure Porsche won’t remember much the next morning—not the unpleasant ordeal of cleaning the vomit off both of them, or giving Porsche a strictly clinical sponge bath, or Porsche’s drunken over-sharing about his tight asshole and what a burden it is for him.

By the time he’s gotten Porsche clean and in bed, Kinn is hanging onto sanity by a thread. The only thing that could be worse than remembering the whole night would be Porsche remembering it too.

So of course he does.

And of course he’s nowhere near as embarrassed as Kinn is about the whole thing, aside from apologizing for throwing up on him. He slumps down at the little table in their kitchen the next morning, inhaling a cup of coffee and watching Kinn make an omelette. And within five minutes, he’s steamrolled right over any lingering awkwardness and is asking Kinn to be his “ass coach.”

Kinn says no obviously. That it’s a stupid idea, they’re roommates, Porsche can deal with this on his own—

“But I’ve tried that!” Porsche interjects.

“Tried what?”

“Dealing with it on my own.”

At this, Kinn swallows loudly and keeps his voice carefully neutral. “As in—”

“You know, fingering myself, that sort of stuff.” Porsche downs the last of his coffee. “After the fiasco with that girl, I figured I should practice solo until I was better at it. I thought about getting a few toys to see if that would help but they’re kind of pricey and—”

Kinn is, at this point, having an out-of-body experience. Just the idea, the knowledge, that sometime—anytime—in the past couple of weeks Porsche was in his room trying to work a finger up his own ass, makes Kinn’s brain stutter to a screeching halt. He’s staring unseeing at the kitchen cupboard, picturing it, trying not to picture it, having crisis upon crisis upon crisis in the span of about four seconds. All while Porsche is still talking, telling him about the articles he read and the porn he watched and how really, he thinks maybe he should just walk into a gay bar and throw himself at anyone who looks capable and not murder-y.

Kinn is only human, and very, deeply, stupendously gay, and the hot roommate he’s in love with is offering himself—specifically his ass—on a silver platter to any man who’s willing.

Really, it’s only a matter of time before Kinn gives in and says, numbly, disbelievingly, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

“Do what?” Porsche asks.

“I’ll be your—” Kinn swallows. Looks down at his hopelessly burnt omelette. Looks up at the ceiling, resigned and desperately turned on. “I’ll be your…ass coach.”

And the many, many, many weeks of education begin…

….but I’m not writing full-fledged smut on a tumblr post lol, I have to draw the very shaky line somewhere. I really should just make this a proper fic but I’m already drowning in WIPs so if I do end up fleshing this out into a proper Thing, it’ll be a while.

Anyway, the point is: I am Thinking™️ about Porsche discovering the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of prostate orgasms.

[stovepiperat]

terror camp ‘22 day 2: an informal reclist

Well, it’s been like a month (stuff came up) but Terror Camp was still SOME GOOD SHIT and honestly I’m not even a little bit done thinking about it yet. Here’s part two of: two (variably) related recs (that weren’t previously mentioned in the server, to the best of my knowledge!) for every TC22 panel. Just because! (Part one is here, if you missed it.) Please click through to AO3 to see full individual taglists, warnings etc. and please let me know if I need to fix anything, as always!

(You can still get in contact with the mods at terror.camp to get access to recordings and Discord! While it’s now closed to participation for another year, it’s still a good place to find all the resources discussed.)

Imagining the Northwest Passage

This panel posited that perception is an important aspect of imperial control of a thing. This post, while vaguely themed, is about one million percent less serious than any of the legitimately thrilling and insightful academic & theory work floated at camp, so, with my jester’s apologies, here is the connection I draw: two works about the power of naming a thing, one of which also involves a penguin. I won’t say which.

awaken ancient feelings by wildcard_47 (Fitzier, 11k)

animal spirits by attheborder (Crozier & Jopson, 5k)

Interesting and Pathetic Relics: The Franklin Expedition and British Museums

Something Rich and Strange by hangingfire (Goodsir-centric, 18k)

I am a simple man. I see the phrase “garden of forking paths” and I go so apeshit. (Is every museum not in its way that sort of garden?) Anyway, even if you do not share that inclination, this fic is both interesting and pathetic (in the root sense of being rich with pathos) and reflects on museums and evidences.

Blood on the Concrete by pointyshades (Hickeytozer, 22k)

What’s a museum but a heist waiting to happen? (Heck, a colonizers’ museum swollen with stolen artifacts, as so many of the British ones are, is a heist that already happened!)

“This is what you tell them”: Presenting what remains of the Franklin Expedition

cutting steps in the roof of the world

by

TheGoodDoctor

 (Fitzier, 4.5k)

Post-canon, on legacy, and self-determination with the devastating handicap and antagonism of Britishness. So sweet, excellent Sophia, which seemed apropos to me.

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/unwellnessweek

Because this is my made-up reclist and I can do what I want, I’m going to rec the whole of Unwellness Week, a super fun fest that produced a lot of thought-provoking and terrific fic. We’re literally presenting what remains of the Franklin Expedition, every day, mostly on Twitter, in ever more inventive manners!

The Summer of Doug: Douglas Mawson, the Construction of Society, and the Most Underrated Antarctic Expedition Ever!

Since this one’s a little harder to directly seek in Terror fic, I have honored Mertz and Ninnis’s choice of reading material with loose inspiration. (Hey, I said that it was all very loosely related. This is still true.)

contact light by threelions (Fitzier, 3k)

The Hound of the Baskervilles is, I agree, a capital novel, masterfully unfolding a character-driven and atmospherically spooky mystery. This fic is also those, and it’s sci-fi, and epistolary with an artfully crafted Crozier voice.

stiff by TomBowline (Goodsir/Hickey, 3k)

Vanity Fair is a colorful satire of Victorian social roles and the ways in which they get their hooks in each other, with a side of unromantic romance and deconstructing the artistic convention of the hero-protagonist. Just like this fic, which has the excellent logline “lonely rich spinster/handsome scheming servant but they’re both huge bitches.” Is this an admission that Hickey is like Becky Sharp, to me? Maybe a little bit.

(Bonus: I would be remiss not to link the one work in the Mertz/Ninnis tag for Their panel, so let the reclist be not technically a Terror reclist for a moment:

come rain or come shine by saltstreets (Mertz/Ninnis, 2k)

Mertz and Ninnis do not make it to those holidays. Read it and weep. Do I say that too often? Well, make the fandom stop writing such considerately heart-wrenching fics.)

Let’s Talk about Grief, Baby – The Terror, Tragic Fandom, and Anticipatory Mourning in the Age of Climate Grief

Fun fact: I live captioned this one, which is hard to do when you’re dry sobbing a little bit like everyone else attending the talk! I think I already plugged the recordings in this post but I’m going to do that again. Anyway, have some fics about trying to mourn something of terrifying scale! Trying to sleep against the howling of a ghost inhumanly old, and unable to take the final step and completely die! (They both happened to be modern horror series crossovers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

C L O S E by Mothfinder_General (SCP Foundation crossover, Little, 4k) experience, and its decay by attheborder (TMA crossover, Fitzier, 4k)

Next Door to the Promised Land: The Franklin Expedition and National Belonging from Richler to Rogers

I’ve already recced a lot, obliquely or not, about British nationalism, so let’s interpret this theme a little differently and have some tunes. 

Terror & Erebus: This 2006 ambient album themed after the Franklin Expedition is also available to listen on Spotify, and it’s great music to write fic and coldly morb to. Also, consider this post yet another appeal to AMC or whoever is stopping DK from doing it to RELEASE THE TERROR (2018) SCORE, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU, I’LL PAY MONEY! IF YOU MADE A VINYL, I’D BUY A VINYL EVEN THOUGH I DON’T HAVE A RECORD PLAYER! PLEASE!

CHANGGWI: A great song by Ahn Ye-Eun and a chillingly atmospheric vid to go with it from polarsirens. Also, I mean, it’s about Britishness red in tooth and claw!

[your--isgayrights]

Have you read svsss bc the hilarious take of “I’m not gay this man is simply the most beautiful this is an objective fact” seems present in both kdj and sy. To me. Idk these are my current obsessions and I can’t stop drawing connections between them and trying to get other ppl to like them. Like how I want an orv/Hades game xover based purely on vibes and the fact that I consumed them at the same time

HOW DID YOU KNOW? I, like, never talk about it but I am definitely like low-key obsessed with scum villain. Like I have the first volume in print and read fic about it allllllll the time I've read SO much fic by SO many authors it's kind of concerning. The AO3 scene is so talented and diverse... And exactly as you said I love the comedy a lot. I read it after ORV so if you read my fic and see the way I do KDJ that's me pre-reading scum villain going like "wow it would be funny if there was a book fixating on this aspect of KDJ where he is desperately loving and in love with this guy he thinks is objectively the best person in the world but he will never ever let him know on pain of death" and then some time in the interim of 4.2 and 4.3 when I was kind of switched from creating mode to consuming mode I read sv and was like 😲 hello???

I really like how sv and ORV both are really analytically subversive of the tropes of their particular genres while still ultimately fulfilling the promises they make to the reader. Of course I do think that ORV fulfills more of those promises and is very purposeful about that, but that's why I like reading SV fic more, bc I like to see what issues people had with it and what they took away from it and what they would want to change... Like SV is sooo messy and funny but obvi it's got a lot of stuff that makes you go "... Ummm?????" so seeing other people have those same reactions is comforting.

It's totally the opposite for me when it comes to ORV fic I have to admit tho! I usually only read ORV fic by my friends nowadays bc I just don't have a lot of fun in the Ao3 tag. It's one of those media properties that I have a lot of specific, positive interpretations of, so I'm not as generous in my readings of fic about it I think 😅. I was pretty much just looking for stuff that was basically letting me reread the original work, so when I felt like the author changed some idea or character motivation I would always think 😤😤😤 that isn't right!!! They don't know them like I do! What about such and such scene or such and such character motivation from such and such chapter of ORV, don't they remember??? Which totally isn't fair to the authors bc obvi they're just playing with ORV and fixating on specific tropes and themes just like I am... That's just what's the sign to me to "start writing fic" instead of just "keep reading more fic."

Anyway that's why I don't talk about SV a lot, but I'm actually really into xianxia as a genre right now because of it. I've been hyperfixating on traditional Chinese medicine for a while now (in the vein of reading research articles about neuroscience behind acupuncture theory and translations of resuscitation methods from the six dynasties period) so that interest has ultimately culminated in me working on an original comic project that might never see the light of day. Basically just one where a guy gets put into a female xianxia protagonist's body in a het romance novel so he has to Speedrun being trans lol. He's like a neuroscientist tho so his main thing becomes trying to prove the germ theory of disease while the plot happens around him. Bc the only thing I'm constantly thinking to myself while reading xianxia is "... How would that work? Like. Scientifically." Which shows how lame I am lol... THIS guy wants soft magic rules to be HARD magic rules... Also like there are a lot of problems faced in modern NS research that being able to manipulate qi would really help with on like a microscopic cellular level... Problem is that cultivators & microscopes don't coexist...

OK I shouldn't describe more of that unless it's over DM (☉_☉.)

Anyway thanks a lot for your question! The other thing you mention- that xover sounds really funny, especially with the pre-existing OT3 dynamics I think it'd be good for Yoo-Han-Kim. The funny thing would be reconciling ORV's cannon portrayal of Hades and Persephone as like fun adoptive parents with Hades the game's stellar "they are divorced and estranged and their son has to die a lot fixing them" take. Honestly it's not really a dynamic I'm super attached to from ORV cannon because while I totally understand its place as like wish fulfillment for KDJ'S self insert (himself) I just find it less compelling than other relationships, especially the one he has with his mom. Would Love YJH God of Death or HSY Fury moment like yeah sounds good to me... Who would be HSY's sisters then? Maybe other versions of herself lol... JHW would make a good fury hmmm.... What about the Olympians would they just be regular? Obvi the main themes would be KDJ relationship w/ parents and how YHK helps him with that which honestly could have Vibes but you'd have to shape all the character placements around that.

OK SORRY, LONG POST (☉_☉;;) THANKS FOR YOUR ASK!