#anyways My R is the most Jean song ever and i will die on this hill

[dysfunctionalcreature]

and what if I said that this is Jeandrew to me

like "for the very first time, there i see, someone with the same pains as me" is literally the basis of why I'm so obsessed with the potential of jeandrew !!

(song is My R)

[macaroni-rascal]

Waxing poetic idea: virtuosity

First of all, what a concept for a waxing poetic, we love the pun, we love it all. Second of all, I have no idea just how long this has been sitting in my inbox, but better late than never, I suppose!

When I think virtuosity I generally think about music, so for the purposes of this post, I am going to focus on how Virtue and Moir are masters of musicality, as I can make a separate post about their general talent and skating skills.  

I truly believe that Tessa and Scott were (and continue to be) the most musically inclined ice dance team ever. It’s nothing new, but Paul MacIntosh their old coach has spoken before saying there as just something natural about them and their ear for music, Tracy Wilson commented on them  as juniors and early in senior as a team that really listened to their music and that they used their edges and knee bend to match the rhythm of the dance, etc. It was obvious that this team just had a certain ability and flow that went above and beyond what had been previously seen in the sport. 

They were ice dancing to music, not figure skating to background noise.

There was always an impression that music meant a lot to them, and the emotional connection they felt to music was very important, the program they hated the most (Malaguena) was because they didn’t chose it themselves, and the program they had the most trouble with emotionally (The Seasons) was because they also couldn’t form a connection and tried to force something. The stunning thing about Tessa and Scott’s skating is that nothing ever looks forced, it all seems to be placed and done to maximize their ability, the music, and the art of figure skating. So, cmplpete with hyperlinks as well as gif credit, lets get into it.

I say that Valse Triste is one of my favourite free dance of theirs, but I don’t think people get just how much. In terms of how much a song can be elevated by movement, VM did everything correct with Vale Triste. 

This perfect moment in the beginning where the music is drawn out and sweeping and so their movements match perfectly, I just love the ina bauer moment right on that first long violin sound, followed by Tessa’s nice deep long edge and then another sweeping movement. Also, the last lift directly on the crescendo of the music, when Tessa raises her hands into the air when the silence holds, and then again, that lovely piece of silence  while Tessa is balancing on Scott and his squat. Then the last moment with Scott’s arms and the violin again... All of this matches the music so well, it very much feels like they had this choreographed already, and then Jean Sibelius wrote Valse Triste for them. So stunning.

Umbrellas of Cherbourg was just a piece of mastery in terms of hitting musical highlights. The first lift was so effective, all the of the step sequences were musical and lilting and joyous. I also love the moment in this gif, the abandon in their movements echoes the abandon in the song as Catherine Deneuve sings “je ne peux pas, je ne peux pas” and it really does feel like they can’t help but move this way. I don’t need to understand French to feel it, they made the movement match the music so well that it becomes universal. Special shout out to the fucking stunning backwards inside edge they both hit as they go around the corner. *chefs kiss*

What I also love about their virtuosity and their musicality is that they never really settled. They picked a very difficult piece of music for the Olympic year because it was the only music they felt any connection with. It was a hard program because they really took time to highlight the music, and the accents are quick and staccato. What’s stunning, is that I think anyone who watches/knows vm can perfectly hear the music that should be playing over the gif, and nothing else COULD be playing. So often, especially recently, I watch  ice dance programs if feels like any generic music could be on and it wouldn’t change much. Tessa and Scott could never. Every movement and every moment is deliberate and on theme.

Tessa and Scott’s dance holds are a literal thing of beauty and should be studied. That doesn’t have much to do with what I am writing about currently, but I thought it needed to be said. Nights and Days is an all time favourite programs. We love a wango. I love the opening especially and how they go from a nice easy arm movement to two quick poses, then Tessa’s moment with that leg and giving that face, that hit the opening notes so well, only to have the music really begin with their leg kicks.

Let’s talk about how a waltz goes counterclock wise on a dance floor and is quick-quick-slow and Tessa and Scott started their program going counter clock wise around the rink, and having their movement begin slow-quick quick, slow-quick quick...because I’m never not thinking about it

There are so many moments in their free dance to Hip Hip Chin Chin that I desperately love and that I have yet to see gifs of it. Besides the stellar and iconic opening footwork, the coolest twizzles (accenting the drums with their transition into each twizzle), and some very cool lifts (I mean, hello temptation lift), I love the step sequences and the transitions in this program so much. Some favs include:

Tessa’s booty pop to the drums and her arm on “rhythm”

Tossing Scott and a literal hip hip chin chin

Hitting twizzles and free legs on beat

Tessa just in this moment and her arms

The “I can’t resist” moment and the silence as they just pull in on beat, throw their hand up on beat, and hug on the ice sensually 

That little kick they do in the step sequence right on the double beat

Anyway, that program is a fucking wonder and the fact they only did it once fully in competition is a small tragedy.

Tessa’s twizzle from the Waltz goes on right on that stunning lick of effervescent music lives rent free in my head and will until I die.

As does the extension and flair Tessa gets in this one small hand and arm movement. More character in this tiny little one second gif of carmen than in the entirety of Davis and White’s Notre-Damn that year, quote me.

Carmen, in and of itself, is so fascinating and intricate from a music standpoint, they hit all the moments so well. Tessa’s second leap into the air on the curve lift, the ending pose for the  twizzles, that rad as hell and incredibly difficult transition where Scott all but throws Tessa face first into the ice and she lands in a sort of lunge that took all season to perfect. I could go on.

I truly am, one day, going to make a post about Dream a Little Dream and how it is the best short dance program ever performed. In terms of virtuosity it is unmatched. Again, it is that type of program where you can so easily hear the music playing the background because everything just...fits. I can hear Ella crooning “stars shining bright aboooove you” as Tessa rounds around Scott and his arms flow along with the melody. I also love the moment with “sycamore tree” and the transition there. Shout out also having the solo lady twizzle in the finnstep right on the boom of the music. There are too many moments to count. The whole program is magic.

Another special shout out to the latch step sequences and especially how they changed the diagonal step so that Tessa’s double twizzle hit right on the music and created such a moment. I also love the straight line lift and how with the changes made so it was timed perfectly to be in a moment of silence between lyrics. Tessa and Scott know how to use the moments of silence and stillness just as much as they know how to use the moments of intensity and attack.

Moment of appreciation for the guitar lick during the rumba where they kick in as they get that chocktaw key point before the inside 3-turns. Iconic behavior.

What I love is that they dig deep into their music, really listen, and really try and make their movements and their program not only match the music, but elevate the music to the point where you hear things you maybe didn’t before because it never got highlight in that way before. 

I love that they aren’t afraid to not only hit the big, in your face “rooooxaNNE” moment, but it’s that they chose to put it at the end of their twizzle sequence which needs perfect timing, perfect synchronicity, and perfect attack. Not to mention, the amazing head-head moment with the violin right after. But then! It’s not just the end of the twizzle sequence, because they also accent the music every where in between because the first set is on beat to the music as is the second set which leads into their arm transition in character and then we get the big moment. With Tessa and Scott, their musicality is such that they create these little micro pockets of moments amidst one giant moment that is their full program; because the twizzles fit perfectly in the program, but the twizzles also stand alone as their own moment of tension and release -- just magnificent.

Off topic, but gosh it always amazes me just how fast they are going into and through this lift. As I’ve mentioned previously, it’s not just the big accents they are hitting, but the small ones as well. It took me half the season to realize there is a lovely little piano lick right as Tessa backflips and rises up into position, just as the music is rising along with her and once again, it just feels right.  No other teams owns the ice and owns their music quite like them. Because it’s not just that they are so musical, its that they have the ability to skate to all of these different types of music, and look at home in every single one. In that, they are objectively unparalleled.

When Tessa and Scott skate, it almost feels like the music is asking them to create something, and is ultimately grateful for them doing so.

[fleebledotcomrbls]

You Matter

Chapter 5

Summary: Logan sneaks out with Remy

Tw: Suffocation, Talks of death, Verbal Fighting, Outing somone as trans (its in passing but fair waring), metions of violence, almost drowning (let me know if i missed one)

Words: 1897

 The day seemed to drag as he watched the clock tick all day. It was friday and eleven o’clock He had his first training session with the hero's tomorrow. His mind was pulled right back into reality as Declan returned from his last meeting of the day. 

“Hey Lo,” He smiled at Logan. His eyes were heavier than usual, “Tonight I'm heading home to Remus. He will come with me in the morning to see you. Remember the rules.”

“Stay in my room. Don’t touch anything, and nobody comes in or out.” Logan recited. His father put these rules in place when he was ten. Tonight was the first night he was breaking them. There should be no reason Declan suspected him, but he couldn’t help but toss and turn these past nights. Right now is when it could all fall apart. If his dad suspected him for a minute. He called upon every bit of his minimal acting abilities.

“Good,” Declan looked straight into Logan’s eyes. Logan tried to keep his poker face, “You need to go to bed on time. You look like you aren’t getting enough sleep.” Declan grabbed his cheek and gave him a quick peck, “Love you.”

“Ew.” Logan deadpanned. Declan laughed as he exited the room.

Logan relaxed and looked down at his outfit. He knew it would be bad to show up in a onesie, but what else could he wear? He ran to the cluttered sideroom, with his bed and assortment of materials for all his interests.

He looked to his closet. It was full of star maps and more importantly his clothes. He looked through his closet. He had a lot of the same pair of jeans,  shirts from the lab, and flip-flops. He assumed he shouldn’t show up in his favorite shirt that says, ‘Got Powers?’. He scoured finding nothing. He looked across his room to see Declan’s mini drawer he keeps in Logan’s bedroom. He dug through the drawer, he saw a lot of the same shirts, but in his father’s size. Then, he saw a simple black polo shirt and a blue tie. He smiled and pulled the shirt and tie on. He grabbed his jeans. He went up to the door of his room and before he opened the door, he grabbed the R coin, and put it in his pocket.

He walked to the back of the lab, he had snuck out before, but it was to the edge of the woods. He never left sight of the lab. He saw the back door. He bolted a sudden jolt of excitement rushing through him. He felt someone grab his arm, and he felt the air push out of his lungs.

“What are you doing here kid!’ The attacker was looking at his band and let go of Logan’s arm. Recoiling as if he had touched fire.He went to grab his walkie-talkie as he fell onto the ground. Remy stood behind him, his palm outstretched. He had a small backpack.

“Snitches get stitches,” He looked up at Logan, “Ya ready to head out not so secret spy.”

Logan looked down at the man and placed a hand on his chest. Remy quickly took his hand, “He’s asleep. Nobody’s powers can kill someone. For someone who's been surrounded by powers your whole life, that would seem like a no brainer.”

 As Remy opened the door Logan contemplated the words. Letting their weight sit on him. Remy was right, Logan should know more about powers. He had met so many empaths and power canclers, and lots of people whose powers were extremely emotionally driven. He was allowed to walk around like any kid at one point, but that was when he was four or five. They decided to isolate him after he made a huge vacuum around other kids. They didn’t want him endangering others. It hit him that Remy was the first person he talked to with powers that wasn’t trying to control him in a long time.

Logan stepped into the dank grass outside, the smell of rain dancing in his nostrils. He felt a chill. The cold hitting his bare arms, Remy grabbed a flashlight from his bag. The stars shone bright, Logan couldn’t help but stare. He had seen so many photos and had plenty of maps, but the real thing was beautiful. The stars flickered, and Logan’s eyes dragged across the sky, to find the familiar shapes. There's Mars, Sirius, Orion, and The Big Dipper.

“Logan!” Logan was broke from his trance by Remy, “We’ve got to head out. We can go look at the stars in Carnville. The sky is clearer there anyway. We will be walking a mile or two, so we can’t wait around.”

Logan was not as strong as he should be. He walks around the Lab often, it was nothing like the road they walked on, but Remy distracted him.

“What's your favorite color?” Remy interrupted the cicada’s single note song.

“Blue. Yours?”

“Brown. Now you ask a question.”

“Hm,” Logan contemplated the question to ask,”Why are you here? You seem to have control over your power.”

“Some kids started attacking this other kid. Some kid could read minds, and outed this kid as trans. The kid started getting bullied, but some kid started beating the crap out of him. I put the kid to sleep. Their mom freaked and threanted sueing my mom, so I lied and said it was an accident. You?”

Logan should have expected the question to be asked back, but he had no plan. Almost everyone he's met has already knew why. He decided on a half truth, “I was put away for weak control on my powers.”

“For nine years? Damn, this place is dedicated. Hmm, you got any hobbies?”

“I like the stars, reading, and studying the periodic table.” Logan looked back to see the hospital completely out of view. There was no going back now.

“Down there is the road the superheroes from the academy use to go on missions, were following just far away enough so that they can’t see us,” Remy pointed to the left as a distant siren was heard, “So Mr.Nine Years, how is the outside world?”

“Cold, wet, and…”Logan looked to the sky, “Beautiful.”

“Yeah, after a rain most likely wasn’t prime time to sneak out, but we can still have fun.”

“I quite enjoy it.” Remy laughed at that. The walk continued with back and forth conversation.

Logan started to smell something salty, “Whats thats smell.”

Remy’s eyes lit up, “Just my favorite scent in the whole world.” Remy grabbed Logan’s wrist and raced off. Logan nearly tripped on multiple branches just trying to keep pace. Logan saw a faint light through the woods.

Remy broke through the trees, “This is Carnvill.” The town was alive despite it being at least 1 am. The market in the center was full of people trading goods. A bar nearby was lit up with fairy lights and people’s laughter. Actually, everything had fairy lights. There was a beautiful orange glow. The smell...had much to be desired. Logan looked to his left to see the ocean.

It was the first time Logan had seen the ocean, even though his whole life he had been around it. It was enchanting. The stars were reflected in the waves, and the glow of the town highlighted the sea. It was haunting, no one knew exactly what was beneath the water, but damn was it beautiful.

“I knew you would love it,” Remy led logan to a cliff that looked over the ocean, “Now we can stargaze. Those woods were not a good view.” Remy was right, it was an amazing view. The clouds had cleared. Logan could see the stars as if it was a picture…,but it wasn’t. It was real. Logan shivered the cold nipping at his nose. As Remy put his jacket on Logan, he couldn’t help it as water vapor came from his eyes. It only got worse as the rocks became liquidy.

“Whoa! Is something wrong?” The boy’s cool attitude slipped. Logan just started bawling harder.

“I-It’s j-ust the-that you.” Logan was suddenly sobbing, “You don’t think i’m dangerous.God, I hate emotions!” Remy turned to Logan and hugged him.

“Logan, when I saw that band I froze. I had written you off as someone who never questioned the system,” Logan felt vapor rise from his shoulders, “but then I saw that band. You never had time to question it. Heck, you never had people to help you question it. Have you ever thought for just a moment,” Remy pulled away, his face was damp, “That you’re allowed to feel and be a kid.”

Logan stood up, “No.” He tried to calm himself. He can’t...He can’t let his emotions get the better of him. That's when they hurt people, “You don’t know my me. What I’ve done.”

“Logan, You were 4!”

“I STILL DID IT!”

“YOU SHOULDN’T BE PUNISHED BY NOT LIVING,” It dawned on Logan that Remy was crying, “NINE YEARS! You’ve never played with a Wii or-or heard Lizzo! No first day of school. No having your friend pressure you into listening to MCR! NO CHILDHOOD!”

Logan felt something roll down his cheeks, he placed a hand to see liquid tears come out his eyes. Liquid, huh. That's the first time that had happened. This is the first time a lot of things have happened. Logan sat on the edge of the cliff and awkwardly patted next to him. Remy sat down, “I’ve never listened to MCR. You’re my- You’re my friend. You can peer pressure me.” Remy looked at Logan and started laughing. Remy fished something out his bag. He pulled out a cellular phone and a cup. He placed the phone in the cup and then he reached a hand out to Logan. Logan took his hand and Remy pressed his phone as lyrics came out.

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me

“Logan for once. Stop caring!” and Logan did. In this small town in the middle of nowhere. He danced and danced. Remy danced along with Logan. Steam started clouding around them. They were in their own world. Than Logan heard Remy scream,

Logan was alert in minutes. He ran as he saw Remy plummet of the cliff. Terror in his eyes. Logan jumped. As he fell he grabbed Remy mid-air. As they descended Logan felt a harsh smack. Logan realised suddenly that they were in a...bubble? of ice? Remy suddenly let go.

“HOLY SHIT! I ALMOST DIED.” Remy started laughing.

Logan started crying, “I’m sorry. Remy we’re gonna die in here.”

“Hey Hey Hey. Shh. Don’t be like that. Yeah maybe we might suffocate, but at least we're not alone.” Remy laughed.

“God, how are you so positive. We could DIE. Were most likely going to.”

“Decide your last words.”

“What?”

“If we’re gonna die we need good last words.”

“At least we’re getting to see the bottom of the ocean.”

“Dang, how am I supposed to top that,” Logan felt lightheaded, “Umm, Into the unknown.”

“Logan, hug me.” Logan did and as Logan hugged him, he started to feel sleepy. He knew Remy was putting him to sleep, but he was too tired to care.

“Into the unknown…”

Taglist: @thewhiteraven73 @hereforapathylogic @illogicalthinking @power-in-plain-sight

[sailorchiron]

Day Three of Michael Guerin Week!

Further Adventures of college Michael and Alex.  

Read on Ao3

Dance Floor Anthem “Alex, that sounds completely lame.”

“No!  Why?”

“It’s just lame.”

“That’s not a reason.”

Michael looked up to where is boyfriend was perched on his bed, looking outraged and amused at the same time.  Alex has the most expressive fucking eyebrows.  “Alex, I can’t believe I have to explain this to you, but school dances are lame.  Even in college.  Especially in college.”  He watched Alex climb down from his lofted bed to sit across from him in his desk chair.  “I’m still going to say no now that you’re at eye level.”

Alex laughed, and Michael’s heart swelled at the sound.  Every time he made Alex laugh, he hoped a little of the pain of his past was washing away.  Michael felt like every time he made Alex laugh, a little of his own pain was washing away, too.  When Alex leaned in to kiss him, he didn’t even pretend to resist.  

“Kissing me won’t convince me to say yes.”

“Are you sure?”  

He laughed.  “Why do you want to go to a dance, anyway?  Who even knew there were school dances in college?”

“It’s not a ‘dance,’” Alex replied. “It’s a ‘dance party,’ which sounds slightly cooler.”

“Uh, no, no it doesn’t.  Why are you so set on going?  You hate popular music.  And normal people.  The room will be crawling with Greeks.”

“I’ve never gone to a dance with a date.”

“Dates just limit your options.”  He grinned when Alex cracked up.  “Did you even go to dances in high school?”

“You saw my prom pictures.”

“I mean, other than that.”

“Yah, with a big group of people that included Maria and Liz.  And Kyle,” he added with an eye-roll, “since they were together most of high school.”  

“Can I punch him when I meet him?”

“His parents are cops, probably not the best idea.”

“That’s a damned shame.”  Michael looked into those velvet-dark eyes.  “You really want to take me to a dance?”

“I’d love to take you to a dance.”

Michael was helpless to resist that sweet, hopeful little smile.  “If it’s totally lame, we can leave.”

“Absolutely.”

“You can’t put evidence of me dancing on social media.”

Alex laughed.  “Okay.  I won’t post videos of you dancing.”

“Or pictures.”

“Fine.”

Michael couldn’t help but smile at Alex’s borderline giddy excitement.  “I’m going to regret this.”

***

At first, Michael thought he was in the process of regretting it.

As he’d predicted, the room was full of frat boys and sorority girls.  Even though this was a ‘dry’ dance, people were drunk.  The music sucked.  At least to him.  Maria and Zoey had headed for the dance floor within seconds of walking in.

He looked at Alex, and decided he’d deal with the bad music and annoying crowd.  His boyfriend looked elated.  It took him a second to figure out why.  Of course, he thought to himself.  We’ve gone on dates but they were super casual because we’re not rich.  This is our first ‘out’ event.  He’s never had the luxury of going to a dance or party with a boyfriend before. He’d die before he’d deny Alex the chance to be in a group of their peers and be open about his first relationship.  In light of this, Michael slid his arm around Alex’s shoulders where they stood against the wall, and grinned at Alex’s delighted smile as he put his arm around Michael’s waist.

“Do you think this is as lame as I do?”

Michael and Alex looked over to see one of their suite mates, Dean, standing in a posture of utter annoyance with his girlfriend, Felicity, who looked like she was going to burst with amusement.

“It’s not that lame,” Michael answered.  “I have a cute boyfriend to dance with.”

“I have a cute girlfriend,” Dean argued, “and it’s still lame.  I can’t dance to this shit.”

“It’s not my fault all you like is old hip hop,” Felicity complained.  “This song is amazing, come on.”  Michael and Alex watched her drag him onto the dance floor for some R & B song that neither of them had ever heard.

“I do want to dance with you,” Alex said into his ear over the din.  “I’m sure all the music won’t suck.”

“I’m sure,” Michael answered, smiling.  At least, he hoped all the music wouldn’t suck.  He noticed Alex staring intently at the dancers.  “What?”

“Look at the guy Maria is dancing with.”

Michael scanned the crowd until he spotted her.  “Damn.”  He was hot.  

“She always gets attention from the hottest guys,” Alex commented.  

“She’s hot and a total flirt, so I’m not shocked.”

Alex laughed.  Michael was glad he wasn’t worried that he was into Maria anymore and could laugh at the comment.

They watched the dancers until the song changed, and Michael felt a sense of dread.  “Don’t you dare.”

“You cannot expect me not to dance to this song,” Alex answered, and he let himself be dragged onto the dance floor for one of his boyfriend’s Panic at the Disco favorites.  “What song is this?”

“Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.”

Michael couldn’t complain when Alex draped himself over him.  Almost couldn’t breathe from the full frontal contact of Alex against him.  Had to echo Alex’s arms over his shoulders by sliding his arms around his waist, hands just barely skimming his ass.

And then Alex started singing the incredibly sexual lyrics in his ear, in that gorgeous voice, and he felt goosebumps break out all over his body.  Dances with Alex were definitely not lame.  Michael couldn’t quite believe that Alex was being so openly demonstrative, but he had noticed some other queer couples in the room.  Not that Alex ever tried to hide their relationship, he was just a little shy about it.

By the time the song was over, Michael was hard enough that he was ready to drag Alex to the bathroom for some alone time.  He could feel that Alex was in the same state, but was pretty sure he would not want to be dragged to the bathroom for alone time.

They danced to the next song, even though it wasn’t a favorite of either of theirs, just to stay pressed against each other.  The following song was Britney Spears, and neither of them could stomach the idea of dancing to that, and they headed for the back of the room laughing, arms around each other.  

Maria and Zoey joined them a few minutes later, each carrying bottles of water than had been exorbitantly expensive.  A few guys were hovering nearby, clearly taken in by the gorgeous, vivacious, and obviously single girls talking to guys that couldn’t possibly be their boyfriends.  They all watched the crowd for a while, laughing at the worst dancers and trading stories about high school dance disasters.  Alex mentioned Maria’s unsuccessful attempts to get him to go to dances in drag, Zoey talked about senior homecoming at which her boyfriend dumped her for another girl during a slow dance to Whitney Houston, and she’d punched him in the face and gotten suspended for three days. 

Not long after that, a song that Michael loved poured out of the speakers, 80s rock classic Silent Lucidity.  Couples throughout the room were coming together to dance to the slow song, and Michael realized that Alex had probably never gotten asked to slow dance with someone.  He turned to him, smiling.  “Dance with me?”

Alex smiled.  “Yah, I’d love to.”

Michael led him into the slowly swaying crowd and wrapped his arms around Alex, and felt his arms tight around his shoulders.  They were the same height, so they couldn’t really rest their heads against each other’s shoulders, but Michael was perfectly happy when Alex pressed his face against his neck.  He loved that Alex did that when he was emotional.  Eventually, though, he raised his head and smiled into his eyes.  

Michael couldn’t resist.  He leaned in, giving Alex a chance to pull away if he wanted to, and pressed their lips together.  This boy had his heart, and he couldn’t think of a better way to express his utter adoration than by kissing him in front of everyone there.  Showing Alex just how proud he was to call him his own.

They kissed for a little while; Silent Lucidity was kind of a long song.  When he pulled back, Michael rested his forehead against Alex’s, just breathing, just loving him.  They hadn’t said the words yet, but he could feel every ounce of Alex’s love for him as they slowly moved to the music.  It wouldn’t matter when they announced it to each other, their love was real and solid and almost a physical tether wrapped around them, holding them together.  When Maria’s mother had read his palm at the beginning of the year, she’d told him he’d have one true love for his entire life, and there was no doubt in his mind that Alex was that person.  He’d seen Alex’s matching love line, and was sure he felt the same way.

They stayed at the dance another hour or so, eventually leaving and walking back to their room, hand in hand.  It was a chilly night, and their snazzy party attire wasn’t protecting them from the wind, and they were cold and laughing about it when they stumbled through the door, still a little high on the excitement of their kiss on the dance floor.  It hadn’t been their first public kiss but the little pecks they’d shared when parting at different spots to go to class and occasional soft presses with small groups of friends just weren’t the same.

Alex initiated the kiss; he deepened it and pushed Michael against the bed frame, grinding against him.  They hadn’t had sex yet and it wasn’t going to happen tonight - he still thought Alex needed more time - but fuck if they were going to bed hard, either.  He kissed back, hands on Alex’s ass, loving his fingers in his hair.  When Alex started unbuttoning his shirt, he helped then started on Alex’s clothes, pushing the open waistcoat off his shoulders and hurriedly opening and parting his soft lavender-grey shirt before dropping it to the floor.  Nice thing about sharing a room with his boyfriend - they’d seen each other mostly naked before they ever started dating and neither of them had been remotely self conscious when they’d started making out the first time.

Alex’s hands were on his belt, and he waited for him to get his pants open before he reached for his.  His jeans were sinfully tight, and Michael couldn’t wait to get him out of them.  As much as he thought skinny jeans were ridiculous, he couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed seeing Alex’s body showcased in the tight denim.  

“Fuck, Michael,” Alex breathed, laughing.  “I have to sit down to take off my shoes.”

He pulled back, laughing a little.  “Yah, do that.”  He stripped off his clothes while he watched Alex untie his boots and pull them off.  “You looked amazing tonight.”  

Alex gave him a radiant smile.  “So did you, sweetheart.”

He called Alex baby; Alex called him sweetheart.  He felt a little thrill every time.  Michael watched him stand up and pull off the rest of his clothes.  Alex was fucking gorgeous, he had the most beautiful skin and he couldn’t wait another second to have his hands on him.  “Your bed?”

“Sounds good,” Alex answered and they climbed up, laughing because there was no graceful way to get into a lofted bed.  Michael settled on top of Alex when he flopped over on his back, kissing him with intent.  This was the best part of making out with Alex, the build up.  Getting off was, of course, fantastic, but taking the time to touch and kiss and sigh was so, so good.  Michael had always thought of Alex and too special to rush with, and Alex clearly enjoyed all of the attention and wanted to reciprocate.  

“What do you want?” he whispered against Alex’s lips.  

“Just this,” he gasped out, holding Michael’s hips to push up against him.  

“Let me get lube.”  

“Too close,” Alex complained.

“So much better with it,” Michael countered.  He looked across the room and saw that it was sitting on his desk, reached with his mind, and brought the bottle to his hand.  “Here,” he panted, pouring the liquid into his palm and lifting up a little to stroke them both.  If felt amazing.  “I’m close too, baby.”

Alex called out, gripping Michael’s hips.  “Fuck, yes.”

Michael resumed moving against him, kissing and biting at Alex’s neck.  He’d left marks before, and that hadn’t been a problem for either of them.  And the fucking sexy moans he got in response to the nips was a huge fucking turn-on.  He felt the moment Alex tipped over into oblivion, and bit down hard on his neck, earning a strangled shout.  Michael kept grinding down as Alex came, and finished himself in two or three thrusts.  Nothing in this universe was a fucking hot as Alex having an orgasm.

He collapsed on the other boy’s chest, panting, floating on clouds of bliss, sighing when he felt Alex flop heavy arms over his back from where they’d fallen to the mattress.  He nuzzled his neck, kissing softly.  He still wasn’t used to the luxury of getting to bask in the afterglow as long as he wanted; no authority figures were going to catch them being naughty together.  He smiled when Alex gently wove his fingers through his tousled curls.  He never wanted to move.

“Mm, sweetheart, we’re going to be glued to each other if we don’t clean up.”

Chuckling, Michael forced himself to lift up onto his elbows to look down at Alex, and couldn’t resist kissing his smile.  “Sad but true.”

“Shower or just wipe ourselves off and pass out?”

“I’ll take option two.”  He carefully crawled off of Alex and looked over the edge of the bed.  Spotting his t-shirt from earlier in the day, he pulled it to himself with his powers and cleaned them both off to the best of his ability.  Alex chuckled, he was always amused when Michael used one of his shirts for this, since he’d never used one of Alex’s t-shirts, even though they were both in the laundry basket.  Dirty shirt thrown off the bed, they tucked themselves under the covers, and Michael turned off the lights with a thought.

“Thanks for taking me to a lame dance,” Michael murmured, laughing when Alex did.  “I enjoyed being your date.”

“I thought dates just limited your options?”

Michael kissed Alex softly.  “Yah, doesn’t really matter.  The only option I cared about was you.”

[in-elysium]

Second musical of the month, Les Misérables! It was amazing, and the cast were very sweet about autographs. I definitely enjoyed it, and I need to go again!

Jean Valjean (Adam Bayjou) The regular Jean Valjean for West End at the moment is Killian Donnelly (who you may know played Combeferre in the film), however we had one of the understudies for this performance. He was absolutely incredible, and he hit both the low and high notes with so little effort that it was clear he has an amazing range. Honestly, I would love to see him in the role again if I go back.

Javert (Hayden Tee) Hayden has the perfect voice for Javert, very deep and slightly ragged. His acting was also very good, especially in the scene just after the barricade, he was practically tearing his hair out!

The Bishop of Digne (Andy Conaghan) Andy has a really deep and rich voice, it suits the Bishop really well. It’s a shame we don’t have that many scenes with him.

Fantine (Carley Stenson) She has a richer voice than other Fantines I have heard, but she hits the notes well so it really works to her advantage and makes her sound more mature than Cosette or Eponine. She really sells her emotions, especially in Come to Me and when she is saved from arrest by Valjean.

Young Cosette (Grace Salsoni/ Talia Etherington/ Holly McDonagh) While I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure which of the three I saw, she had a very lovely voice and it was incredibly strong. Some Cosettes can be quite quiet (understandably) but that was not a problem here.

The Thénardiers (Steven Meo and Jacqueline Tate) These two were absolutely brilliant! They were hilariously funny, and their antics were a bit of relief from the depressing scenes. Thénardier’s little responses to things (Such as saying ‘fair enough’ when Javert refuses to release him and his gang) really add to the humour and the two actors have great charisma together. Also I met Madame Thénardier and she was so lovely about giving autographs and even chatted with us for a bit!

Gavroche (Felix Warren/ Ben Perkins/ Charlie Strip) Once again, I’m not sure which Gavroche I saw (though my mum later pointed out that it was likely 2 of them), but this kid had me in tears. I don’t cry easily at media, but his death tore me up. Really great, probably the best Gavroche I’ve heard. Also, when the curtain call was in progress they split the actors into groups, so Enjolras was with him, and when they separated they grinned and saluted each other and??? My heart??? It was adorable.

Eponine (Karis Jack) I actually want to die. This was one of the best Eponine’s I’ve ever heard, and she looks almost exactly like I imagine her to look. Honestly if I were Marius it would be a no brainer on who to pick. Once again, A Little Fall of Rain made me cry, and she harmonised with Marius really well. She also came with Fantine to get Valjean, and they all stood looking over Marius and Cosette for a while before anyone joins them.

Cosette (Charlotte Kennedy) Now, here’s where I have to be mean. First, I just want to say that the actress was so sweet and this is nothing against her character, but she was just outmatched. Her voice was really shrill and shaky, but not in the way that sopranos normally are, it seemed like she’d strained her vocal chords or something? If that is the case then of course nothing against her and I hope she feels better soon, but if not… Well, she was still a brilliant actress, just not the best singer.

Enjolras and Grantaire (Hyoie O'Grady and Hugo Chiarella) I was originally intending to group all the boys together, but honestly Enjolras needed his own segment and I knew if I wrote about him on his own I’d end up talking about Grantaire a lot because they had really sweet moments together. My solution? Group them. OK, so starting with the actors themselves, Enjolras was really well cast, enigmatic and the actor himself was so sweet and chatted for a while. He really made me want to join a revolution. We don’t hear as much of Grantaire, but he had a very smooth voice and was really funny (in Red and Black when teasing Marius he sits on his lap and kisses his cheek(?)). He was also very good at being serious though, such as when he comforts Marius about Eponine’s death. The two together were gold. They worked really well together, and had both funny and heartwarming moments. Funny moment: Enjolras is giving all the barricade boys a brohug™ but leaves R out, so he just stands there and does the ‘what the hell’ gesture. Heartwarming/sad: Enjolras finally gives Grantaire that hug during Drink with Me. As in, the actors stand there hugging each other for pretty much the remainder of the song. Also, Grantaire dies when he jumps over the barricade after Enjolras (who is killed by an explosion). I’ve spent too much time talking about these two, but I couldn’t not.

Marius (Paul Wilkins) This Marius was brilliant. He had a really rich voice, and he paired really well with the other barricade boys. He also hits Thénardier, which is definitely a bonus. He’s very good at projecting emotion with his voice; he sounds like he’s genuinely crying in both A Little Fall Of Rain and Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.

The Barricade Boys (sans Marius, Enjolras and Grantaire) First, two pieces of explanation. One, I haven’t written out all the names, because there’s a point where even I lose patience. I instead included a photo of the cast. Two, I really wanted to do a separate listing for each of the boys, but I didn’t have enough information on each of them to be detailed. Anyway, they all harmonised very well, and there was a real range of voices, with Shaq Taylor as Jehan most noticeably bringing up the rear with a very low voice. They all bounced very well off of each other, and had a lot of fun or sober moments.

Finally, a call-out post to specifically Clare Findlater, but more broadly to creatives, ensemble members and anyone who isn’t visibly up on stage playing a main role: Please, when people ask you for autographs, don’t say, ‘oh I’m only an ensemble member’ or 'technician’ or in this cast 'orchestra member’, because you know what? You guys are just as important as the Jean Valjeans and the Enjolras’, if not more so. Without you the show wouldn’t run at all. So you aren’t 'just’ something, you’re the (vastly unappreciated) backbone of the show. Well done you guys!

[renee-walker]

fic: a song, high above the trees

So clearly I’m doing a fantastic job of keeping up with prompts (yes that was sarcasm), but in any case, have … whatever the hell this is.

The prompt is: carol & rosita (just friends) 3) “I wish I could feel things like you,” and this is a tiny Christmas present for the wonderful @tarascarol. I love you with my heart bby.

Anyway, I guess it’s kinda Carol/Rosita friendship with some random Caryl too, for flavor and because apparently I can’t write things that aren’t shippy?

(p.s. Idek what au we’re in here for real. We’re in Alexandria and some of the people I want to be alive are alive, basically.)

“You sure you don’t wanna forget about the cookies ‘til later and come upstairs with me for ten minutes?” Daryl slid both his hands under the hem of her shirt, warm calloused fingers brushing her ribs and then her stomach as his wandering touch moved closer to the button on her jeans.

“Ten whole minutes?” She wiggled out of his grasp, careful to put some friction in all the right places.

“Haven’t seen you in almost a week,” he mumbled, brushing a finger down the back of her neck before he leaned in to whisper against her ear, “Just tryin’ to be realistic.”

She licked a glob of peanut butter cookie dough off the spoon and turned to face him, grinning as she took in his expression, which was caught somewhere between the look he usually gave her when he was about to pull her into his arms and cuddle her until they fell asleep and the look he usually gave her when he was about to get her out of her clothes as fast as possible and put his hands and mouth all over her until she couldn’t breathe, much less think.

Bouncing up on her toes a little, she brushed her lips over his and said, her voice low even though she was pretty sure they were alone in the house, “Or we could compromise.” His hands drew her hips closer to his, and she didn’t fight it. “I’ll finish these cookies and make dinner. But it’s Aaron and Eric’s night to clean up, which means we could go to bed early.” The eagerness in his eyes combined with his hips pressing into hers made her want to forget all about compromises and cookies, but it was only two days until Christmas (or as close as they could figure anyway), and she’d promised Carl she’d do what she could to come up with something like those peanut butter cookies with the Hershey kisses in the middle.

“Early like right after dinner?”

She raised an eyebrow. “If you want.”

He took her face in his hands, tilting it up towards his. “I definitely want,” he muttered before his lips were on hers, warm and soft, the piece of chocolate he’d stolen mixing with the peanut butter cookie dough when the tip of his tongue stroked hers, and she made a low, needy noise.

“Cookies are delicious,” he whispered into her mouth, pushing her back against the counter.

“Shut up,” she murmured, her thoughts getting fuzzier as her cheeks heated and she felt her heart tapping too rapidly against his chest.

The decisive slam of the kitchen door startled them instantly apart. Rosita was standing there, arms across her chest, wearing an expression of boredom mixed with a tinge of amused disdain and … something else Carol couldn’t quite categorize.

“Just want a glass of water.” Rosita strode past them and lifted to her tiptoes to reach the biggest glasses on the top shelf. “And then I’ll let you two get right back to it.”

“Daryl was just leaving,” said Carol, shooting him a pointed look and stepping back far enough that he couldn’t reach her.

“You and I clearly have a very different definition of that word,” Rosita shot back, shoving the faucet handle up to fill her glass.

“I’m outta here.” Daryl’s face was tinted slightly pink, but it made Carol feel warm all over to notice that he didn’t look ashamed or even particularly concerned that Rosita had caught them making out.

Progress.

He leaned forward to drop a kiss on her forehead. “Later then, you promised.” His words were so soft that she almost didn’t hear them.

Almost.

He gave her a tiny, one-side smile as he grabbed his bow off the floor and fled.

Carol turned back to the cookies, spooning out a chunk of dough and rolling it between her palms.

“You want some help?” Rosita gulped down the last few swallows of her water and flipped on the tap to wash her hands.

Carol glanced up, puzzled. “I didn’t know you liked baking.”

“I don’t.”

“So why do you wanna help?” She dropped the mostly rounded ball of dough on the cookie sheet and reached for some more. “I’m fine finishing up here.”

“I don’t feel like being alone.” Her words hung in the quiet air of the kitchen.

Carol stopped and looked at her for a second, wondering why Rosita had chosen this specific moment to be so blunt. Then she nodded. “It’s really easy. Just take about this much dough- (she extended her hand to demonstrate) and then roll it until it’s reasonably close to round.” She deposited the finished product on the cookie sheet. “It doesn’t have to be perfect or anything.”

For a few minutes they worked together in silence, the only sounds in the kitchen the background hum of the refrigerator and the Andy Williams Christmas CD Carol had put on before she started. He was in the middle of “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” full orchestra and choir backing him up.

“Who the hell tells ghost stories on Christmas?” Rosita blew a strand of hair out of her face as she attacked the ball of dough in her hand with what seemed to Carol like unnecessary ferocity.

“What?”

“That stupid line. Something about ‘scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long long ago.’”

Carol pulled in a breath, expecting the familiar ache that bloomed in her chest before it had a chance to fully form. “Sophia hated that line, too.” She scooped more dough onto her spoon. “She said whoever wrote it could have come up with something less creepy.”

“Smart kid.”

“Yeah. She was.” Carol swallowed. The song switched to “Silver Bells” and the relief that washed over her made her feel almost silly.

“Why’d you come back?”

“You’re in a talkative mood.”

“I’m sorry.” Rosita dropped her second perfectly-formed sphere on the cookie sheet and looked over at Carol. “Sometimes shit comes out of my mouth and I don’t even think.”

“I don’t mind. I’m just curious why.”

Rosita paused, resting her hands on the counter and staring at the cookie dough with a faraway look. “It’s been really hard for me to settle down since-“ She glanced up again, redirecting her sentence. “But you seem a lot less … “

“Bitchy?” Carol offered with a smirk.

Rosita grinned. “I was gonna say, ‘Touchy,’ but sure.”

“I needed some time away. To think.” She paused for a few beats before adding, “And maybe a break from taking care of everyone.”

“But here you are, baking enough cookies to feed a small militia.”

Carol let the steely edge that sharpened Rosita’s words slide. “Lori used to make those peanut butter cookies with the Hershey kisses in them every Christmas. Carl says they’re his favorite, so I figured why not try?” She shot a glance at the unevenly broken chunks of dark chocolate sitting on a plate to her left. “They won’t be as pretty, but hopefully it’s the thought that counts.”

“My abuela used to make candy canes,” Rosita said after a long pause. “You know the kind where you have to split the dough in half, then dye part of it red and twist the red and white dough together?”

Carol nodded. “I tried them once and it was a disaster.” She laughed. “Attempting those with a four-year-old assistant turned out to be a terrible idea.”

“I doubt I was much older than that when my abuela started making me help her, and goddamn if she wasn’t pickier than the lord himself.” Rosita licked the tip of her finger and started on another cookie. “All I ever did was grumble under my breath and wait to be finished. When I was little I wanted to watch cartoons, and when I got older I wanted to go to the mall with my friends or try to impress some asshole guy.” She shook her head. “I don’t even remember his name. Jack? Jake? Something like that.”

Carol remained quiet, reorganizing the peanut butter balls so she could fit the final two on the cookie sheet.

“I never just appreciated the time,” Rosita said after the silence had stretched out. “There are so many questions I wish I’d asked her. About what things were like when she was a little girl. About where she learned to grow every flower I could think of. There’s so much shit I wish I-“ She cut herself off, pushing her hair away from her face.

“Did she die before-“

“Yeah, breast cancer.”

“I’m sorry.” Carol paused in the middle of filling the sink to wash the dishes and waited until Rosita’s eyes (red and a little shiny) rose to meet hers.

“I miss her.” Rosita cleared her throat and stood up straighter, rubbing at her peanut-butter covered fingers with a paper towel. “But I’m glad she never had to see any of this.”

“Yeah.”

Andy Williams had moved on to “Do You Hear What I Hear?” Carol finished filling the sink, white mountains of soapy froth rising toward her as steam shifted and vanished into the air.

“I guess that’s the main reason I came back,” she said, searching for the sponge in the suds. “I didn’t want another endless list of ‘What Ifs?’ to deal with.”

“Well Daryl definitely didn’t look confused when he left,” Rosita retorted, but this time there was no edge to her words, and the corner of her mouth tilted up a touch. “Horny maybe, but not con-“

“Okay! Would you like to play Scrabble while we wait to put in the next batch?” Carol cut the other woman’s sentence in half, ignoring the pink she knew was in her cheeks as she walked over to the cupboard filled with games.

Rosita offered her a self-satisfied smirk. “Sure, but prepare to get your ass kicked. I was reigning champion at my high school for three years running.”

Carol dropped the Scrabble box on the counter, tiles jingling faintly inside. “Well, you should have seen my Words With Friends rank.”

Rosita dried the last of the water off her fingers, hung the reindeer-print dish towel over the stove door, and pulled out one of the wooden stools. “Bring it on.”

[foxes-evermore]

Hey,,,, if you wanna you know,,,, whip me some of that angst you got,,,, that could,,,,,, that could work,,,,, that could be cool,,.

listen,, im in physical pain and also am not able to sleep at the moment so im sitting up in the kitchen getting ready to eat a whole cheesecake and preparing to cry,,,, the angst hour is upon us,,, lets do it

if this is about the thing i said yesterday, the specific angst i was talking about was a Kevaaron Song of Achilles AU, which, im not sure if that’s what you were hoping for, but im emotional,,,, just @ me again if you meant something different sjksldjlksdf

anyway here we go its long im so sorry alksjlskdfj

I’ve said this a lot before but like

Sporty-Boy-With-A-Destiny Kevin Day

Boy-Whom-Was-Treated-Like-Shit-By-The-Only-Parent-He-Knew-But-Succeeded-Out-Of-Spite-And-Became-A-Healer Aaron Minyard

t his writes itself

originally….. listen… originally i was like “of course Riko is Paris and Ichirou is H*ctor,,,, and Jean is Helen”

bUT then i got to thinking

and i’ll be damned if the mcfucking USC Trojans aren’t the for real trojans

and like this adds a whole knew level of angst because like

hear me out, i want Jeremy to be Paris just because of the Jerejean™,, but in reality,, the boy is H*ctor. Honorable and Loyal to a Fault, and best of the best right after Kevin.

which also means that Riko is actually Menelaus, and Ichirou is Agamemnon. and that makes a lot of sense because honestly the tension between them and Kevin with everyone going “no, IM the Most Important, fuck you” is 100% there.

Back to the boys though,,

like here’s Kayleigh Day, a simple sea nymph whose only desire is to protect her son and also make sure he is remembered and worshiped forever,,, and young Kevin is so on board,,,,

meanwhile

Aaron gets in some Trouble for killing a man who dared to lay a hand on his twin brother, and Tilda is overly happy about getting rid of him for the crime, so she sells him to a king who is known for adopting outcast orphan boys for his army. Aaron never hears from/sees his mother or brother again, but ,,, he meets the stupidest boy he has ever encountered in his LIFE. the kid is an absolute IDIOT, but he is half a god and destined for greatness and everyone dotes on him. 

Aaron doesnt care.

Kevin does.

Why is Aaron ignoring him?? Why doesn’t Aaron fawn over him like the other boys do? why won’t Aaron pay attention? it’s frustrating but intriguing.

The second time Aaron gets in trouble with royalty, the king wants to know why Aaron isn’t training and sparring with the other boys. He doesnt care about anything anymore, that’s why.

But he still knows pain and fear, so he does the only thing he knows how to do when a superior is angry: he finds a small/dark place and he hides.

Of Course someone finds him, and OF COURSE it’s that talented brat.

Kevin drags him to the king because its the right thing to do, but instead of leaving him for the wolves, Kev is like “I choose him. as my brother-in-arms. i want him by my side at all times” and obviously the king is like “why” because look at this fucking tiny pale stick-boy,,, he’s not even 5 feet tall yet,,, will he ever even get over 5 feet?? (spoiler, the answer is no)

and Aaron is also like “????” and Kevin just smiles for the king and then gives Aaron this look that says “try to ignore me now, you piece of shit” :))

So these 2 spend some quality time together and for a long time it’s basically just like that one part in SoA where Achilles is training and Pat goes I stepped forward. ‘’fight me.’’

There’s so much bickering and whatnot and, just like in SoA, they don’t even truly realize they’re falling for each other until the Big Bad Ocean Mom comes and tells Aaron to fuck off and then sends Kevin away to train with the horse dad, Wymack, to keep him safe.

Aaron follows him and Kevin is like “I knew you would come :)” and Aaron is like “shut the hell your mouth” and they finish their journey together.

and they fall in L

they fall in Love on that mountain.

just two bois dicking around and experiencing foolishly strong emotions where no one can stop them.

But Then Aaron’s past that he conveniently forgot to mention catches up with him when men come to tell them that it is time to die to fight Troy. Kevin is an amazing warrior and it’s expected that he go to fight in the war, but Aaron can hear his own blood pounding, because he Remembers something that he hopes everyone else might’ve forgotten.

He’d made a promise to Jean of Sparta. not a promise. A blood oath, to go to war for the most beautiful boy in the world if something like this ever happened. and now it was happening.

Kayleigh warns him that if Kevin goes to fight the trojans, he’ll die, but she cant elaborate anymore, aside from telling them that Jeremy will die first.

Who can kill Jeremy, though? N o   o n e. Kevin is the only swordsman good enough to best him, and why would he kill the devout trojan prince? he’s an honorable man. an admirable man,,, in fact, Kevin has heard so much about him, and he adores the prince,,

and What has Jeremy ever done to him?

Kayleigh tries one more time to save her son, spirits him away to an island at night,, weds him to a beautiful princess named Thea, they promise her a child and in return she disguises him as one of her lady dancers whom she calls her “ravens”

Aaron finds him though, recognizes him, because he would know those green eyes a n y w h e r e.

Thea invites Aaron to stay, too, says that the three of them could work something out. The two agree cautiously and they start to get comfortable, incorporating Thea into this thing that used to be just them 

But eventually men come and find them,,, find Aaron,, and they’re dragged off to Troy to fight with Riko and Ichirou,, one man determined to bring back his caged lover and one determined to seize the city.

It’s exciting at first, in that “we could die any second” sort of way. everything happening all at once, arrows and spears flying, swords clanging, and fire on the beach.

but Aaron watches from day one as Kevin loses himself. the way comes back to camp the very first day of battle covered in blood and sweat and grinning like he just won the world.

Something about it twists Aaron’s stomach, but he pushes it down because there’s only room right now to be glad that his love is alive and that they’ve successfully arrived and that maybe there is hope and the war will end with both of them on the other side of it, going home.

The night after that first battle, Aaron sees a trojan girl being handed off as a spoil of war, probably to Ichirou or Riko, and demands that Kevin take her as his prize. Kevin is high off the fighting still and doesn’t really question this.

The girl’s name is Katelyn and she’s eternally grateful to Aaron, but even warier than he is of Kevin’s lust for battle and glory.

Anyway.

time passes. years. Aaron and Katelyn save as many of the captured girls as they can, and they make a family and they get close, and one day Katelyn admits that she loves Aaron.

he’s shook.

But he’s not as shook over her feelings for him as he is over her justifications for why they should be together and forget Kevin.

“He’s a monster,” she tells him. “He’s not a person anymore. He doesn’t love you, he can’t, because he doesn’t know how to love.”

and that can’t be true, but it is, isn’t it?

he only knows how to fight and kill. he only feels the need for glory, and nothing else, doesn’t he?

When did it become like this? When did Aaron lose Kevin? a few months back? years? the day they arrived at Troy? earlier?

had he ever even really had Kevin? he’d never had him to himself, at least, had he? It was always Aaron and Glory. Kevin was born to be remembered, and they both knew it. and Kevin wanted it more than anything, didn’t he?

did he want glory more than he wanted Aaron?

but it’s like Kevin is reading his mind,, every time Aaron has these thoughts, Kevin is there, on top of him, kissing him, holding him, touching him with these burning hands that leave Aaron wanting more, more, more.

he’s driving Aaron crazy and Aaron is fine with it because they have each other and they’ll be back home together one day and that’s all that matters.

and then Riko pisses Kevin off,

and the gods see this story and how it ends, and some laugh at the tragedy of it, and some hurt for the poor souls involved.

Kevin won’t let his men fight anymore, and the Trojans are taking ground back and hope is lost, but Riko and Ichirou won’t swallow their pride, and neither will Kevin.

Aaron begs. “These are our friends,” he says, “if the trojans just see you, they’ll retreat”

“You’re letting them die,” he tells Kevin from down on his knees, “you could save them. please.”

his lover’s tears are enough to snap Kevin out of his rage, but not enough to make him fight. 

“You dont have to,” Aaron bargains, “let me ride out in your armor.”

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Echo [o2/o3] (Daniel Bryan)

◂Previous

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“Through the eyes, and through the nose. They will follow, The echo, echo, echo, echo.”

Finally, after hours and hours of mindless standing, the crowd – which had grown in size – was finally let inside to take their seats. You and Kyle got the good seats, right beside the ring and on the right side of the commentator’s table, thanks to months of grueling work and money-saving. It was pretty expensive but Kyle made it, and you even managed to snag some apparel from WWEShop.com before the event arrived.

Kyle was dressed in light blue jeans with a dark grey hoodie which was zipped only at the bottom. Beneath that was an Edge Rated R-ockstar t-shirt. He had a white and pale blue bandana around his orange locks, topped off with a John Cena Cena Approved trucker cap. On his right wrist, he had one Nexus bulk band – yellow, with the word NEXUS in black – and a Randy Orton bulk band – yellow with the RKO logo. On his left wrist, he wore a John Cena Cenation cuff bracelet. Around his waist was CM Punk’s Aftershock belt. And, last but not least, around his neck was a John Cena Cenation pendant.

While Kyle loved most every wrestler the WWE had to offer, you were a bit pickier.

You were dressed in baggy black jeans, which were being held up by The Miz’s My Name Is belt. You wore a baggy long-sleeved white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to my elbows; it had been left unbuttoned, too. Underneath that was a white tank top. The Randy Orton Viper pendant and The Miz I’m Awesome pendant stood out against it. Your left wrist showed your support for The Miz with his My Name Is cuff bracelet, while your right wrist had one of The Miz‘s bulk bands – red with the My name is Logo – and one of the Nexus’ bulk bands – black with the Nexus logo. Last but not least, you wore The Miz’s My Name Is cadet cap.

You didn’t love half as many people as Kyle did, considering he only disliked two or three people in all of WWE history.

Anyway, the show finally began, and the adrenaline within the arena was crazy. Before it even began, the crowd was in waves of cheers, the sound echoing throughout the building. Even so, the annoying commentary of Michael Cole could still be heard. Like most of the WWE Universe, you thought Michael Cole was a complete and total dumbass. However, he does make for good entertainment.

“Hello, and welcome to Monday Night Raw, LIVE!” the cheering grew louder, those who had been standing outside eager to get the show going. “Monday Night Raw is brought to you by Smackdown vs. Raw 2011!”

“Tonight’s first match is an interesting one, indeed! A tag team match between The Miz and Alex Riley vs. Randy Orton and John Cena!”

The crowd was equal for all three men, but when John Cena’s name was spoken, the whole arena started to cheer, not a single boo in the entire arena. You found it hard to believe that everyone loved John Cena, but meh.

“What is the GM’s motivation behind this, Cole?” Jerry Lawler, the announcer that people actually like, turned to look at Cole since he was the only one who was able to speak to this mysterious General Manager. You for one had the strong urge to learn how to hack just to find out who it really was.

“Well, last week on Raw, Randy Orton got involved with the fight between Nexus and John Cena, for what reason, no one knows! The Miz offered to cool things down between the three men and, somehow, it led to this! Whoever wins this match tonight gets a free shot at the whole of Nexus!”

Looking at the expressions of the wrestlers, it was pretty easy to tell what they were feeling.

John Cena looked pumped and ready to go, always happy to have another shot at Wade Barrett, the leader of Nexus. Randy Orton looked like he couldn’t care less either way, as long as he got to hurt someone. The Miz didn’t look too happy at the thought of facing Nexus with just Alex Riley in tow – they didn’t stand a chance, no matter how good they were. And Alex Riley kept glancing between the commentator table, his two opponents and the Miz like he was unsure of what to feel.

“Either way, it’ll be good,” you muttered under your breath, leaning back in your chair and propping your feet up on the black barricade separating the fans from the wrestlers.

“If Miz and Riley win, they don’t stand a chance against Nexus.” Kyle commented, “At least with Orton and Cena, they stand a small chance.”

“Miz won’t win.”

“Eh?” he blinked, looking over at you.

“Think about it, idiot. The Miz would be crazy to face the Nexus with just Alex Riley as a backup. If I had to guess, he’ll either forfeit this match or lose on purpose. Or maybe let Riley take the loss. Cena, on the other hand, will jump at the chance to face Barrett, even if it’s against the rest of the Nexus, as well. This match is set in stone before it even begins.” You pulled your hat down farther.

“Hmmm, I guess you’re right.” he murmured, turning back to the ring.

“We walk alone, in the unknown. We live to win another victory. Our sacred scars, show who we are, it’s time to face it!” We Are One by 12 Stones started blasting through the arena, pumping up the crowd as the Nexus slowly walked out from backstage, stopping at the top of the ramp, “We are one, We are one, We are one, We will stand together! Number one, Number one, the chosen ones! We are one, We are one, We will fight forever! We are one, and we won’t. die. young!”

“Ya know, now that I think about it, that song is very fitting for them…” you muttered, looking up at the extremely high ceiling towering over the arena.

“Well, duh! That’s why they chose that song!”

“It’s a nice song.”

Kyle grinned, nodding in agreement.

Of all of the themes, the Nexus’ theme was probably your favorite. Whereas, Kyle was in love with Edge’s Theme, which was also pretty awesome.

The Nexus stood tall, each harboring a smug look on their face as they stared down the four men in the ring. Your attention was drawn between three of the members; Wade Barrett (because the English bastard was one you loved to hate), Heath Slater (who had some of the coolest hair in the WWE) and Justin Gabriel (who seemed too kind to be a part of the Nexus).

Wade Barrett licked his lips and slowly began walking towards the ring. When he got inside, he grabbed a microphone, watching the four with sparkling eyes. Of course, they took the offensive, staying to the opposite side of the ring.

“Instead of letting you all have a match to determine who is going to face us, how about we take all four of you on?”

On cue, the rest of Nexus began towards the ring, circling it like a pack of wolves until they were on every side of the ring. They climbed up, just outside the ring. You and Kyle exchanged a look and you put your feet down, leaning forward on the black barricade.

“They’re gonna jump them, right?”

“Of course,”

“We have to help Viper and Cena.”

“And Miz and Riley.”

You exchanged another look before returning your attention to Wade, who had begun to speak again.

“You see, John Cena. Despite the attacks on Nexus and the threats that you feel the need to make, Nexus is still standing strong. It doesn’t matter what you throw at us, or do to us, Nexus will never fall.” his accented voice rang throughout the arena, and the crowd continued to boo. “There isn’t a person on this earth that is capable of taking us down.”

The Nexus slipped into the ring and began their assault.

You and Kyle exchanged another look before nodding. You knew you had to move fast to avoid the security guards, so you quickly jumped over and dashed into the ring. Kyle jumped over the top rope while you slid under the bottom one. Kyle took on Skip Sheffield and David Otunga who was on top of John Cena while you took out Justin Gabriel before he could perform his 450-degree splash on the Miz, who had been set up by Heath Slater while Michael McGillicutty kept Alex busy. David Otunga and Husky Harris were keeping Randy busy while Wade Stood back and watched.

Just as Justin jumped from the top rope, you jumped up, tackling him to the floor beside the Miz and pinning him there with your arm on the back of his neck. The Miz slowly moved over towards you, telling you to bring him to his feet and hold him. After that was done, Miz put his right leg over Justin’s and performed his ever-awesome Skull-Crushing Finale. Looking up, you noticed the security guards pacing outside the ring. They, obviously remembering the beating Nexus had given them when they first arrived on Raw, weren’t in any hurry to rush in and pull you both out, especially since you were taking on the Nexus, but it was obvious that they were ready to grab you the second you were out of the ring.

“I’m not believing this! What are those fans thinking?!” Michael Cole screamed.

“I think it’s impressive that they’re even able to keep up with the Nexus.” Jerry Lawler commented.

“It may be impressive, but what are the security guards doing? They’re just standing around while the fans go wild!”

“Shouldn’t you be happy? They’re helping the Miz.”

“The Miz is so great, he doesn’t need help! But still, they’re fans, they shouldn’t be in the ring no matter how good they are. They could get hurt!”

Being focused on the guards, you failed to see Otunga coming up from behind, sending a kick to your back and making you fall to the floor.

“See? I told you!”

“Ahh, but look! The mysterious fighter is getting revenge!”

With a growl, you wrapped your ankle around his feet and tripped him, causing him to fall onto his back with a grunt. Smirking, you pulled yourself to your feet and climbed to the top rope. With a battle cry, you jumped off and body-slammed Otunga, making him roll off to the side and out of the ring.

You caught Kyle’s eye and nodded.

You stood on opposite sides of the ring with Heath slowly approaching him while Skip tried to come after you. With a grin, you both ran forward, past the man who was blocking your way. With a quick high five, you traded places, clothes-lining them from behind and sending them to the ground.

“Yeah!” You raised your fist into the air, hopping onto the middle rope. Kyle did the same opposite you and the crowd went wild.

The Nexus scattered, regrouping in front of the ring. The four men still inside stared at you curiously as you moved to stand before them, still in the ring. Kyle leaned on the ropes, a grin on his lips. You stood beside him, hands in the pockets of your jeans.

“What’s this?!” Wade Barrett questioned, looking none too pleased as he narrowed his eyes at you, “You’re hiring fans to aid you now, Cena?”

“Wrong~!” Kyle sang, loud enough for him to hear. Because he had no microphone, the crowd tried to quiet down so they could hear the mystery fighter’s speech. “We were just passing by, ya know?”

“And we got sick of you dogs messing with our guys, so of course, we decided to take matters into our own hands.”

“Well, I can promise you this, love. You will regret making an enemy of the Nexus,” he spat, “You’re either Nexus, or – ”

“We’re against you,” Kyle interrupted with a wide grin.  “See, you may think we are hypocrites because of these,” he pointed to his Nexus band on his wrist, and then held your own up to show the group, “But, we can still like you and hate you at the same time.”

“It’s more of a standstill type situation.” you took your hand back, stuffing it back in your pocket, “We like the Nexus – ” you waited for the boos to die down, “Only when you’re standing there doing nothing, and when you don’t speak. However, when you decide to brutally attack our guys because you losers have nothing better to do than prove how weak you truly are, we turn to hate you. Nexus’ reign ends now!”

The arena erupted in cheers and Kyle grinned, hitting your arm lightly. You nodded and, fast as lighting, you and Kyle jumped onto the top rope before jumping off and body slamming the group. David Otunga and Heath Slater just barely managed to get out of the way, having been standing at the end, but the others weren’t so lucky. Before they could recover, you and Kyle booked it, running up the ramp.

“Security! Do your bloody jobs!”

And so they did. The security guards were hot on your heels as you dashed backstage, narrowly missing the large guard who had been waiting for you, the cheers of the crowd egging you on. You turned every chance you got in hopes of losing them and this continued for a good twenty minutes until, finally, you stopped to take a breath.

The hallway you stood in was silent and empty.

Kyle leaned against the wall, smiling brightly despite how heavy his breathing was. You were in front of him, hunched over with your hands on your knees and one eye closed as you attempted to slow your breathing.

“Now what?” he questioned, glancing down the hall every couple of minutes, “This building is huge, there’s no way we can find our way back. I doubt anyone would be willing to help us, and even if they did, they’d probably lead us to the guards before the exit.”

“We do the only thing we can do.” You took a deep breath, your breathing finally back to normal.

“Which is?”

“Walk aimlessly ’til we find the exit… or something equivalent.”

“Equivalent? You mean…?” Kyle followed as you began to walk down the hall, keeping your eyes and ears open for any approaching person.

“Yep. If we can’t find an exit… we make one.”

Kyle snickered, readjusting his hat on his head, “Sounds like a plan. And if we run into anyone?”

“Depends on who they are. If it’s a security guard or one of the wrestlers, we book it. If it’s anyone else, we kick their ass.”

He hummed, sounding thoughtful, “I wonder if they got angry for us interfering. I mean, I know the Nexus is pissed… but what about the others?”

“Do I look like a mind reader to you?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder at him. In doing so, you failed to see the wall in front of you. At least, you thought it was a wall until you looked up, rubbing your forehead in the process.

“K-King Sheamus!” Kyle’s eyes gained the childish sparkle that he got only when he met his favorite wrestlers, his hands under his chin.

“You’re the lass and lad that took on the Nexus.” Sheamus glanced between you, his Irish accent thick.

“Y-Yes, we did that!” Kyle grinned, holding his hand out, “Kyle Anders, it’s a pleasure!”

Sheamus chuckled, shaking his hand, “You were pretty impressive out there.”

“Wasn’t a big deal.” you muttered, pulling yourself up and brushing invisible dirt off your shoulder, “Nexus is weak. The formula for their destruction is pretty simple; divide and conquer.”

“And you be…?”

“Y/N! Their name’s Y/N!” Kyle grinned wider, putting his hands on your shoulders.

You put your hand on the back of his head and pushed him down roughly ’til he hit the ground, “Idiot. Telling him our names isn’t wise.”

“Eh?” he blinked, pausing mid ow to look up at you, “How come?”

“If he tells the security guards our names, they won’t have to catch us anymore. They can meet us at our house.”

“The lassy is right.” Sheamus laughed, slapping your shoulder, “But no worries! I won’t tell anyone you’ve been down here.”

“So awesome!” Kyle watched as Sheamus walked down the hall from which we had just come, his eyes shining, “He’s so cool!”

“If you love him so much, then why didn’t you wear any of his merch?” you muttered, glancing at him as his form got farther away, “I’m leaving you behind!”

Realizing that he was being left, he quickly hurried after you, trying to close the distance. Of course, you just had to be turning a corner when he slammed into you from behind. And, of course, someone had to be there on the other side, causing you and Kyle to land on top of him.

“Damn it Kyle!”

“Sorry!”

“Think you can get off of me?”

You both froze, looking down at the man that you were currently laying on top of. Laying there, dressed and ready to go out to the ring, was none other than Chris Jericho, the same man you had run into that morning.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

▸Next

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[louder-than-love]

1-100 pls 🙈

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I DIDNT EXPECT THIS but thanks for all the interest though lmao :D

1 - Who was the last person you texted?

if tumblr messages count then it was my sweet friend @way-beyond-wildest-imaginations :)

2 - When is your birthday?

10th of October

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

a friend

4 - What sports do you play?

N O N E BECAUSE I’M L A Z Y

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

a friend called Ahsen

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?

Sappy by Nirvana or Wo die wilden Maden graben by Casper

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

someone who can help me get out of there as fast as possible

8 - What do you feel right now?

joy because I’m finally listening to the new Foo Fighters album and it’s amazing

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?

milk chocolate

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?

0,00

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?

end of January 2017, I don’t know the exact date right now sorry

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?

well, @rearviewmirror10 @rock-basstard @coolbuttmetal @wellwelldroogieboy post some quality stuff so I’d say they are my favourite bloggers? idk though

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

at a concert

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

happy and satisfied with myself :)

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

like 1 minute ago because Dave Grohl is perfect (yes I’m an ultimate fangirl)

16 - Are you happy?

sometimes more, sometimes less

17 - Who do you miss?

being thin lmao

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

why not

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

my grandma bought me a so called “Lira”, which is a Turkish coin made out of gold and many Albanian girls get some of them when they get married, anyways she bought one for me before she died so I can wear it on a necklace or smth if I should ever get married and this is just one of the most precious things I ever received from someone.

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

my father’s friend haha

21 - What is your favorite dish?

pizza, lasagna, those Asian noodles... there’s a lot of stuff

22 - Who is your bestfriend?

on tumblr? @rearviewmirror10 @inside-a-break @wellwelldroogieboy @iowainc @way-beyond-wildest-imaginations they’re all really cool people and I like them a lot and it’s a pity that they’re all living like 1898873249874832km away from me

23 - What is your biggest regret?

I basically wasted my whole youth and I experienced like almost nothing and I feel like I’m going to regret this a lot later

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

which partner?

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

my brother

26 - Name someone pretty

Stone Gossard

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

I don’t remember, probably my friend

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

mostly rock, metal and grunge. But also some hip-hop/rap idk I like a lot of stuff but that’s like what I listen to the most

29 - Are you over your past?

I think so?

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

my neighbour called Vivian

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

someone who is nice and humourous, with a good heart and a kind soul, someone who I feel comfortable around and most importantly: someone who likes me back  (good joke huh)

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

most of the time

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

my father

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

JEANS hell no I don’t wear skirts

35 - How’s your heart?

idk? my physical heart ist fine I hope?

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

no

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

I like Josh Klinghoffer :)

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

i never had one

39 - Do you have any phobias?

not that I know

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

yes

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?

Well, a few friends and I bought a concert ticket for a friend for her 18th birthday earlier this year and she really really enjoyed it so that was probably it? But idk, I’m that type of person who rather gives smaller gifts

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

never have been in one so

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

In a neutral one tending towards happy because the new Foo Fighters album is so good

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

my brother, I don’t know what I would do without him, life wouldn’t be the slightest bit enjoyable without him (I know this is cringey but it’s true)

45 - Describe your dream date.

watching tv shows, eating pizza and listening to music together? I’m not that much of a fancy person

46 - Describe your dream wedding

it would be perfect if John Frusciante was performing there and it would be even more perfect if I was marrying him lmaoooooo

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

0,00

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

romantically? no. I’ve only had those little kisses you do with friends, nothing special

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

never been in one

50 - Do you regret your past?

some aspects of it

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

yes

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

yes

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

no I don’t really hold grudges

54 - Are you a crybaby?

sometimes

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

people only praise my shit hair and my flannel shirts because everything else on me is ugly

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

yes

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

yes

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

who the hell likes to get hurt lmao?

59 - Does anyone hate you?

probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

no, I don’t slap people because violence doesn’t lead to anything

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

all of them, I’d like to have black or red hair though

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

my appearance, my demotivation, my low self-esteem, I also wish I was less of a hypocrite because I tend to hide a lot of shit to not hurt anyone. I also wish I could be able to express what I honestly think of a situation/people/anything else without being afraid to do so, that shit only leads to a lot of bottled up anger and it sucks

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

I love John Frusciante and Chris Cornell an Eddie Vedder

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

who hasn’t?

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

I’m not at school anymore heheh

66 - Can you live without internet?

NO like my whole social life is taking place on the internet at the moment

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

Porch by Pearl Jam would remind me of my special someone IF I HAD ONE

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

depends but not really

69 - Are you a crybaby?

sometimes

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

yes many many times

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

no

72 - Do you study hard?

not at all

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

not yet but I would do this at any time

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

I wish

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

yes

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

luckily no

77 - What kind of person are you?

a person who is obsessed with music I guess

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

yeah but I would NEVER do it

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

yeah

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

by trusting them fully because I can’t trust anyone fully lmao

81 - What are you thinking right now?

“stop oversharing your stupid shit on tumblr bitch no one cares”

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

my cousin Ajlin

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

yeah

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

i don’t know

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

many many times

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

not really because I give in too fast in order to avoid conflicts

87 - Do you have trust issues?

kind of

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

not really

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

Courtney Love because Love is her last name and I wish it was mine too

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

no

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

when I have an optimistic moment, then I do

92 - Who do you want to marry?

John Frusciante

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

not really

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

yeah but I’m probably not right

95 - How do you look right now?

shitty as always lmao, but if you mean outfit then: I’m wearing a white baseball shirt with long grey sleeves and blue skinny jeans

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

not sure...

97 - Have you found your true love?

does John Frusciante count?

98 - What should you be doing right now?

sleeping

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

Doesn’t Exist

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

yes

[69annebowlin69]

25/1/19 Watching True Detective Episode Three

8.29

Woke from dream about repeating harris wittel joke to best friend in bar where i work, only best friend left halfway through me telling it, my audience turned in to this really hateful guy who works there as well and i fluffed the punchline. Called the dr for an appointment, got 10.50 w dr cummings. Text Emmy. Set alarm for 10.

10.12

Woke, feel shitty about what i ate last night. Apple core floating in one third of a glass of water. Gross. Searched Harris Wittels on podcast app, skipped first fifteen of last CBB appearence, straight to introducing himself as pontiac. Chelsea Peretti was my fav comedian in 2013, like everyone else.

10.47

Running late. Emmy text ‘what practice r u?’ I said ‘C’ she said ‘for [my name]’

10.55

Old guy at desk told me i could check in next time via the touch screens next to the door, like i’m a returning customer. Emmy whispered ‘so proud of you for coming.’ Said i love you maybe six times in half a minute.

11.02

Dr Cummings asked why i came today if it’s been so long, i mentioned Emmy, he took it and ran with it ‘it’s always when the women get involved. well, nothing new there.’

Didn’t want to go on the scale, couldnt make out the numbers and he didn’t tell me the number, just asked my height and told me my bmi was low but not alarming. Wore tracksuit bottoms because although i wanted to look serious for the drs, i didn’t want to add weight with jeans and heavy materials if it came to a weigh in. If it came to it i’d have shown him the gaunt phots from ‘thirteen. I might show them to Emmy.

Have to see a psychologist

11.17

Emmy crossed the floor with her arms out when i exited the dr’s office. Christopher’s intervention where Sil says ‘disgusting’.

5.17

Trying to remember anything from media studies to apply to the title sequence and all i can think is that uh the camera is skewed inverting the horizon transposed over Mahershala’s silhouette, denoting…that this shit is fucked up.

5.20

This title sequence is way too long. I could literally blend some kale/spinach/ginger, throw up, read that carver story where the whole family are trying to work out who the baby looks like, , ,

5.21

True Ass Detective

5.25

What i’m wasting mum’s inheritance on this week

-Adderall

-123 pounds on bed sheets in ikea how did it come to 123? Ate 1 1/2mg xanax before we went and stopped looking at the prices of the bedsheets to save time which in hindsight was not a Good Idea. Actually a Bad Idea because now i need two buses to go back and return two duvet covers that cost 30pounds apiece.

-A subscription service called Stingray Quello? I did the free trial to watch the Classic Albums on Graceland because Simon’s supposedly very problematic in it which is equally fascinating and expected, and funny? I fell asleep ten minutes in and i’ll watch the whole thing tonight but i bet i forget to cancel the subscription. I should set a reminder. I need to set a reminder to text back dad and not to eat after nine. Some people need to remind themselves to eat which is the absolute opposite of the problem I have. I would love to have to remind myself to eat. Just texts coming up telling me to have dinner because i’ve forgotten again and haven’t been calculating stupid ass numbers all day hoping they add up to less 1800.

-For 44.99 i can return to raccoon city and contract the D-virus. Yes, please!

-cancel Netlfix, keep adobe, maybe cancel WordPress, wait for dad to work out that his phone bill comes out of my direct debit and offer to pay it himself

5.26

everyone’s always got diseases. Mil has completed the Guarm section of the Cowboy Game and just discovered the cowboy has TB. He said Arthur Morgan is one of the most important characters in modern culture; I have to agree, although Mil’s version hasn’t got the long hair or the moustache-stubble or even the bear hat.

5.30

In the parking lot of a Walgreen’s in Big Bear i had the second worst instance of fear ever. We asked the motel receptionist for the nearest pharmacy and missed the exit twice. There are videos of us waking up and her talking in Spanish. There are videos of us in Joshua Tree drinking warm Tecate and saying i love you  out of rote. She said you couldn’t get pregnant on your period but i was in the headspace where you question/google everything instead of trusting yourself/anyone. She remembered it was Sunday, went to fetch a bible from the car, which i didn’t know she had, and recited old testament; i read the first one and a half google results and dressed myself from the open boot of her car. Some woman asked ‘where you goin?’, like flirting.

The wolf hat we bought the night before from a liquor store that had a fun hats section. Like a stuffed wolf toy, but only it’s head and stuck to a skip cap, fur pouring over the sides, enveloping the whole head - fun! the scanner wire wouldn’t stretch to her head, she bent so the cashier could ring it up along with 12 more Tecate.

The toilet we met in, in which we met, was like two cubicles at a time and mine had Bernie stickers all over it. we were being sick at the same time, she hd acid reflux and i said that’s what i had as well. She couldn’t eat meals we never finished a meal together no siree not one, in the space of fifteen meals we either didn’t order or moved stuff around on the plate til it looked like less than it did before. She couldn’t keep anything down and disappeared to the bathroom for minutes at a time and then i would, too.

At Walgreens i’d decided that actually she was hoaxing me, that her saying i love you and wanting to come out here in the first place, us leaving in the dead of night, wanting to get married and crying when i didn’t must have been like a series of jokes to her. She said ‘you want it so you ask’ at the counter and the woman couldn’t understand so she took over, the bear hat bobbing with her rhythms. We left once with the plastic case that you need scissors to cut and i went back in for the scissors. She swallowed with warm water from her trunk, made a face. Her reflux was bubbling. She was in the Walgreens toilet for a long time and then, like Mahershala, we went back to the motel to fuck, and got drunk again and i decided it wasn’t just a joke again, until we got so drunk that she crashed the car driving back in on the 105. Wedging all the empty cans underneath our seats before the highway patrol got to our window was number one worst fear i ever had.

5.33

Hi i’m stephen dorff and this is Interrogation

*jackass theme*

5.34

Ok things i know from the first two and a half eps:

The nerds were into dungeons and dragons

1980, 1990, 2015

My dad turned me against shows where police are the audience surrogate when we watched Zodiac or something else earnest w Mark Ruffalo. My dad: not into police. One time he got very angry when i questioned how anarchistic he was when he implemented a hard bed-time of 10pm. Like maybe the most i managed to intentionally rile him. I was trying to watch Die Hard 2 in bed and invoked the 10pm curfew and questioned why i wanted to watch a film about a copy anyway. But yeah, it’s tough to get behind any of these characters. They’re portrayed as flawed, but lovingly, like you can tell we’re supposed to appreciate their flawed masculinity or whtever.

Pizzolato is AT LEAST a moderate republican, maybe not a Trump guy on a good day, but probably into Paul Ryan.

Dorff’s wig is off-putting

The fellas will return to the house above Devil’s Den

The first two episodes were the best shot. Some of the scenes in the mist at twilight as the police searched the fields were eerie and unsettling. Since then it’s been kinda rote stuff, no flashes. Maybe that helps in establishing the story, but the pace has been slow as hell and could use something fancy to support it.

I do not care about these kids nor who killed/abducted them.

Dorff gets shot at some point. He calls Hays ‘killer’ soo….

5.51

Brown sedan, white suit, some guy with a scar. Dorff demanding two fingers of soco and talking about his dick is funny but not in the way intended.

5.55

Annoyed at whatever the song on Rhythm of the Saints is where he says ‘i was drinking herbal brew’ grow the fuck up

[miniwolfsbane]

Copied from @andalite-angel post. Edited slightly.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, etc. are allowed.

Biospecialist, Marco/Rachel, Sam/Rahne, all cannon Disney Princess pairings, the two young kids Pacific Rim Uprising,  Lancitty, Evo Kurt/ Amanda,  Jott in Evo. Skyward??

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or ***** that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Fanfic writers and Evo romy, adult Jubilee x Gambit, others.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Never gonna be big on Evo Romy ever again, will forever hate Rahne x Roberto, Sam and Rahne with anyone but each other!!

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Evo Romy...somtimes. Because it does sorta make sense IN FANNON, but not in cannon. And Jean x Scott, because it’s so iconic, but I only like them in Evo, so...yah.

E - Have you added anything cracky crazy/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? 

See my fan fiction.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

The Little Mermaid and Star Trek have been there for 95% of my life.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask, Sam/Rahne, Ariel and Eric (first when I was 5, even though I wanted to be Ariel), Rachel Tobias (first when I was actually gettin into fandom), Jake/Cassie (Animorphs), Clark/Lana, Clark/Lois (I think??) and Chloe/Ollie, Romy (even in Evo at a point!), and now Eliza and Goliath in Gargoyles. I keep saying I’m not a shipper, but I think I’m just a subtle one that pines and doesn’t read a lot of fanfic, but my heart swells over seeing my OTP on screen

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

TV Shows and Western (superhero) Animation mostly, but also a few animes.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I was annoyed by the Agents Of Shield fandoms behavior for a while, but I’ve never stopped liking any fandoms because of Tumblr. 

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

SuperWhoLock, Riverdale...some other popular teen shows.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Tie between Sailor Moon and Gambit I guess, but I’m sure there are lots of others. Sailor Jupiter has a good arc as well, even though she doesn’t have a lot of character development TBH.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Roberto Dacosta’s super strength power is pretty cool and he’s a chill guy. And rich. (I just realized that a lot of X-Men characters are rich, actually. Gambit, Xavier, Warren and him. Holy crap.)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Moon. TAS Rogue too, because she seems fun to hang with, and who wouldn’t like to be called “Sugah” all the time?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

MORE GAMBIT (and comic Nightcrawler) IMAGINES!! And just more love and less fan wars across all fandoms, really.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Hero by Chad Kroger. Ship: Romy or Mollyx Remy. Character: Gambit or Angel.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

For any fandom? A mad scientist and a famous baker get together after the scientist contacts aliens, resulting in a warring invasion on earth.

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

To be perfectly honest, The Smurfs because we’re a Christain household and we found it had stuff in it we didn’t agree with. I was three.  Other than that, I’ve only given up one other fandom permenantly that wasn’t what I thought it was and chosen at a bad time. 

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Kurt and Kitty in Evo, and Logan and Kurt is cool, but I don’t actually pay much attention to it.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Hmmm. One that isn’t too boring? Remy isn’t (wasn’t? He is married now) particular about a woman’s height and is comfortable enough with himself to date a woman much taller or shorter than he is. (Remember, Frenzy was freaking 6′7 before she got rebooted to a normal height and it was implied they had history.) For a while it was a wish of mine they’d pair him with a short gal, because all X-women are physically clones of each other, minus Rahne, Kitty and Jubilee. Blargh. Oooh, just had an idea for a new art project to make the girls look individual! ^_^

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Besides the above? Uh...headcannon that Remy smells good and his hair is silky to the touch and yes I’m a sick, weird little person, I know. Haha, not really. I’m not much of a headcannon person. 

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

* Gambit: Hot, suave, lit, accent, good cook, romantic, my fictional ideal man (told you, I’m sick and weird). * Sailor Jupiter: Sweet, loyal, living on her own at bloody 14 years old, strong physically and emotionally, had trouble believing/finding her feminity like me, tall (not like me!), brunette character, thunder powers. * Tuvok (Star Trek): My second crush ever, calm, reflective, hot grandpa, sarcasm galore, strong, suffers emotionally and physically, POC and like the only black vulcan that I know of, cute little boy chest, that butt (XD), frakin’ hot.

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Surprisingly, one I haven’t talked about yet and that I’m not really fandom-y about. Rapunzel from Tangled. When I saw the movie, I was attached to her immediately. I’d grown up homeschooled and at that point I’d been caregiving for one of my parents for six years at that point, unable to move out and get married and have much of a life, so I was always metaphorically in a tower too. I have childish interests, am artistic and creative, have done LOTS of self-insert art like her, and am a generally happy person (even if I don’t always show it and don’t smile enough). So, out of every character in my many fandoms, I relate to Rapunzel the most. Also, I have only 2 things of Tangled merch-the movie, the soundtrack, and a gorgeous bedspread that’s actually based on the show, but doesn’t look like it. (I don’t like it’s animation/character designs, so it’s been hard to get into it.)

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

OMG, do we have to go here? Anything over-sexualized or kinky or just plain gross/weird. (v***, gore, ect.) There’s this one X-Men:Evo artist on DA that would be brilliant, but I can’t stomach their gallery because they feel the need to do a few  v*** and bondage pics amongst otherwise G-rated pictures. *throws up* IT’S A SHOW FOR 7-YEAR OLDS!! 

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Huge guy, Tiny girl! (but it looks...weird...in live action. *Good Luck Charlie flashbacks*.) Also age differences. Some people are put off by Usagi and Mamo’s age difference in Classic, but I think it’s cute and they were really chaste about it. Specifically, I liked the part where he told her to do well in school for some reason. 

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)? Holy crap, Pride and Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables. No one on my dash is into them though, it’s a real life thing. Long story.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

I have written more self-inserts than is probably healthy, but at least I’ve mostly gotten past my teenage phase of thinking anime guys are hot and it’s extended to Gambit as well. I’d much rather see him be portrayed by a living, breathing actor semi-bringing my fantasies to life than as a drawn character. Well, not that I’m not happy seeing him animated and his voice in Evo is still super hot, but that’s another thing. Anyway, on that note, I wish XM:E weren’t a dead fandom and I could get more reviews instead of just faves/follows. I get so frustrated, because I’m not writing my fics for myself, I’m writing them to finish the story and for the fans. I know OCs/SI aren’t everyones bread and butter, but when you work hard on something, you want people to enjoy and appreciate it on it’s own merits. My regulars dropped off the planet and the fandom is just not that active online. (It’s still kind of active though, otherwise the Gambit and other prints on Steven Gordon’s online store wouldn’t have sold out so fast.) I wish it had been as creative as the MLP fandom, but even that wouldn’t have saved it. Thankfully, there are a few people “keeping the faith”, like Coldfusion180 and some others. They haven’t abandoned it and people have made AMVs for it in recent years, long after the shows cancellation. I know we’ve all moved on in one way or another, but it’s still nice to see the love for the show and it’s characters going strong, even if we’re now a niche fandom, tiny, but there. And even if I don’t get another single review up until the last in the series, at least I can say I finished it, if nothing else. Even if your fandom is dead, keep supporting it. If we don’t keep the characters alive, they die and are forgotten. They need us.

https://fanfiction.net/~miniwolfsbane

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? “where are we going for breakfast?”

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? not at all tbh

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? mhmmm

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? i think thats part of learning life lessons and shit

7. What does your last received text say? “we like trying fancy waters”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? countless

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? pheeewwww lmfao like over a year ago.

11. What do you drink in the morning? water, iced tea, and coffee, all in that order

12. Where did you sleep last night? my comfortable ass bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? yes man. even more so with BPD bc that “you go through 8 breakups a day and the other person doesn’t even know” post is dumb accurate. sometimes i’m level-headed and I trust my feelings and want to act on them, other times I don’t know if trusting them is wise, but I still FEEL things that i’m not sure what to do about.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? HMMM YES YES YES. WOW. YES. I DON’T THINK I HAVE EVER YES’D SO HARD AT SOMETHING.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? not at all.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy. I’m a hombody anyway, at least rainy I can enjoy it

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? who doesn’t? 

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Black jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? I would like to hope so

20. Does anyone like you? mhm, little more than that

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? Idk, probably have

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? A few people from work come to mind lol

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? I have three

25. In the past week have you cried? better question is in the past week have i NOT cried? 

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? red nose pitbull mix

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower. half and half kinda

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? no

29. Do you think you’re old? existential crisis over my age on a daily basis

30. Do you like text messaging? yeah, its not as “personal,” but i like having the time to think about what i want to say. I am a better writer than i am an eloquent speaker

31. What type of day are you having? I’m not sure. I think I’m having a good one for now. 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? I have pierced it, multiple times. have a ring in it now

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? 60 degrees and sunny and cloudless is THE perfect weather.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? mhm

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? bruh I can’t properly answer this i do not fucking know. I hate flings but relationships are energy i do not have bc hardly have any for myself 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? simple in some regards, complicated in others. more simple though, definitely. the complicated comes from being “picky,” or just aka, knowing exactly what i want and what i will or won’t put up with and so on and so forth.

37. What song are you listening to? settle down (young ruffian remix). I have been listening to the 1975, getting in my feels and shit.

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 98% of the time i genuinely really really do. I never intentionally hurt people. But I’ve also previously owned up to the fact that i know i am super selfish and lack the proper empathy to deal w certain situations and thats where that other 2% goes to. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? yes 41. When did you last receive a text message? right now (7:33PM) 42. What is wrong with you right now? What isn’t wrong w me omg lmao. I’m having trouble answering these as candidly as I used to 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? girl*, woman*, lady*, anything other than female jfc. and probably the girl i know the best atm 44. Does anyone disgust you? honestly, i’d probably get chewed out for this but most men. not on some “all men suck” bullshit, but more so “still dealing w some trauma and don’t know where i stand rn”  45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? no?  46. Are you in a good mood right now? haven’t decided, but I am pretty nonchalant atm which is better than crying in despair every five seconds 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Michelle + co.  48. What color shirt are you wearing? my black work polo

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? hmm.. yes  50. Anyone you’re giving up on? considering giving up on a few people lol 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? not at all

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? mhm, goes back to that life lessons thing 53. Do you like rain? love that shit 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? not really 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? mhm 56. Do you like to cuddle? mhm! 57. Are you shy? it doesn’t seem like it bc i have learned how to fake being a people person, but i rly am 58. Do you get along with girls? no, not usually 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? mhm 60. What do you carry with you at all times? my phone, and even then i dont always have it 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? hell yeah i would 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? mhm 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? mhm 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? of course 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? hmm.. i’m sure something has. Michelle brought me butterfingers to work, and i brought her m&ms. my friend brought me tacos for lunch at work today.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?     i’ll pay for my toes but do my hands myself 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?     neither 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?     nah 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?     nah canceled at boff lmao 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?     iPhone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?     i don’t recall really  73. Do you like diet soda? i don’t like any soda at all 74. What color are the walls in your room?   off-white and dust rose   75. Are you 16 or older?     yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?     only to season 4 77. Do you have a job?     i have two   78. What are your initials?     CMG 79. Did you ever have braces?     nah, i didn’t even go to the dentist for the first time until i was 20yo 80. Are you from the south?     mhm technically, FL

81. What does your last status on facebook say?     I haven’t made one 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?     no i don’t unfortunately 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?     mom, but bc she’s forced our relationship on me 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?     cheerleading but i wish i had done gymnastics 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?     fantastic beasts and where to find them i believe 86. Do you smoke?     mhm 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?   like to go out? heels  88. Is your phone touch screen?     mhm 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?     curly 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?     mhm lmao 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?     springs 92. Have you ever made out in a car?     i have 93. …Had sex in a car?     i also have 94. Are you single or in a relationship?     relationship 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?     hanging out at home 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?     new years eve 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?     fuckkkk yeah that 7+ 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?     yeah that didnt work, not my thing 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?     lmfao oh man yes ): 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?   no  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?     once  102. Name your favorite Kesha song:     we r who we r and die young i think. cannibal and blow are really good too.  103. Do you have any tan lines right now?     yes, not cute but i also just bought a new bathing suit that i hope i will tan better in  104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?   nahhh

[iamahufflepuffhearmeroar]

Bizarre Questions & Answers

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? All the time. 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 5 3. The person you would never want to meet? Satan. Feel like we'd have some issues. 4. What is your favorite word? Random 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? A pine tree. So I can shit pine cones and make you question if it's a pine cone or a turd on the sidewalk. And then watch you sidestep it anyway just to be safe. Downside: High fatality rate during winter. 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Is that really my hair? Jesus. 7. What shirt are you wearing? A black shirt that says 'Love me, love me not. Whatever.' 8. What do you label yourself as? A weirdo 9. Bright room or dark room? Depends. When I'm sleepy? Dark room. When I'm happy? Bright room. 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Uhhhhhh. Sleeping. 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? I miss being 8. 12. Who told you they loved you last? My friend Marissa 13. Your worst enemy? My heart 14. What is your current desktop picture? The beach 15. Do you like someone? As in a friend way? Yeah, I like loads of people. As in romantically? No 16. The last song you listened to? 'Seven Nation Army' by The White Stripes 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? My aunt who lives in Montana 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Every single person who's ever broken my heart. This one's for you lot. 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Eddie Redmayne. He'd have to love me. 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) My neck 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I'd have dirty blonde hair that looks brown, with product in it to spike it softly, but there'd be a slight curl in it to make it evident I have curly hair. Blue eyes, pale complexion, dark rimmed glasses. I'd wear a plaid shirt with converse and boot cut jeans, because skinny jeans are horrible. Stud belt. Black watch. Rings on hands, silver, not gold. Tattoos. 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I do watercolor paintings and actually won an award for a watercolor painting in school 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Holes 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh. Um. Tuna with pickles on toasted Italian. Sorry, I'm lame with sandwiches. 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? I wouldn't want to. I'd feel too guilty. I'd try to find the person who dropped it, and if I couldn't, I'd probably put it in a box on top of a shelf and never touch it because the guilt would be too great. I'd eventually donate it to charity. It'd be for a good cause. 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? That gives me anxiety. But England. 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? I've never liked beer. Um... Mike's Hard Lemonade. Yeah. 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? If you're a fuckboy/fuckgirl, you're drowning first. 29. What is your favorite expletive? Fuck 30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? Uh. God. My purse. 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? There's so many. Probably... my first true, honest to god, I-want-to-die heartbreak. Just take that out of there. 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Okay this is the coolest superpower ever. Can I marry Eddie Redmayne? I'll move to England and be with Eddie Redmayne. 33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Shit. I don't know. My sister. 34. What was your last dream about? My ex. 35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I'm a good artist, particularly with water colors. 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? No 37. Have you ever built a snowman? I have. It was a disappointment. 38. What is the color of your socks? I'm not wearing any 39. What type of music do you like? All sorts of kinds. Give me a song and I'll listen. 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets 41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate, but I also love vanilla and strawberry. I'm sorry, I just love milkshakes. 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) Seahawks (can't help it, I live in Washington) 43. Do you have any scars? Yes, several 44. What do you want to be when you graduate? Successful 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'm already physically beautiful. I would say... any insecurity. 46. Are you reliable? On some things 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? 'Are you happy?' 48. Do you hold grudges? Yes 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dear (dog bear) 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? A conversation with a coworker of mine, in which case he apparently was attempting to woo me by telling me he was psychotic and I was sitting there looking for an escape route 51. Are you a good liar? Only when I'm feeling like I want to die. Ironic, no? 52. How long could you go without talking? A couple of hours 53. What has been you worst haircut/style? That time when I was a kid and I cut off one side of my hair to the point I had a bob 54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Several times 55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Uhhhhh. Very poor British that turns into Scottish that turns into Australian. 56. What do you like on your toast? Butter 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? A man with half his head exploding 58. What would be you dream car? 1967 Chevy Impala 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Yes. I sing along to Adam Lambert and do the Salsa. 60. Do you believe in aliens? Oh yeah 61. Do you often read your horoscope? No, I choose my own path, but it's occasionally interesting to read as a piece of fiction 62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? R 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons 64. What do you think about babies? They're cute until they puke