#anyways I’ve been having thoughts about Therion

[1driedpersimmon]

Mostly Therion this time but some Alfy and octo2 as well :)

[vicioux]

ELRIEL FIC RECS

i found this ship through all those headcanons by @propshophannah way back in the ACOMAF days lol and got officially hooked after reading @lady-therion's 'at second sight' - the writing, characterization, TENSION oh man i re-read it every year it's THAT good. anyway, since i can't draw or write like all you wonderful people out there pls accept this as my humble contribution to elriel month 🙈 here are some of my fav elriel fanfics that i've read through the years - hope y'all enjoy and happy reading! p.s you can find the rest of my fic rec lists here.

oneshots

CARDINAL CATASTROPHE by mango Elain reaches out to Azriel after that dreaded Solstice night and they once again meet under the moonlight in the River House - but everything is different now.

TOTEMS OF COMFORT by mango The inner-circle just had an evening meal following the events of ACOSF and Azriel and Elain are nowhere to be found. What Feyre and Cassian stumble across pulls more heartstrings than expected.

EYE OF THE STORM by loverloverlover It's been two weeks since solstice, two weeks since Rhys ordered Azriel to stay away from Elain. He doesn't listen.

IN SECRET by charnelhouse Az goes. No questions. No second-thoughts.

BRAVE ENOUGH TO TELL YOU by thewraithsofmorhogg She’d come to the conclusion that some blasted pot wasn’t going to tell her who was her One and Only; Elain would decide for herself.

MAIDEN OF THE GARDEN by bajablessed Elain never knew that a mating bond could be so wonderful.

A POWERFUL COST by radientwings Elain's visions slowly start killing her, but Azriel isn't about to let that happen.

FOR A TASTE OF YOU (I WILL DO ANYTHING) by keeparecordofthewreckage Another year, another Starfall - it's been weeks upon weeks of awkward avoidance between Azriel and Elain since the night of Winter Solstice. Will they find it within themselves to admit their true feelings?

CALL OUT MY NAME by myownremedy On their way to the northern most Illyrian war-camp, Azriel and Elain get caught in a freak snowstorm and are forced to find shelter.

BLOOM by swishandflickwit Elain receives a gift from Azriel who, perhaps, is given one in return.

EVERYTHING WORTH LIVING FOR by hannahetesta

multichapter

AT SECOND SIGHT by lady_therion Elain accidentally turns Azriel into a dragon 🐉🐉🐉

SECRET SESSIONS by tswaney17 Elain is already doing a bunch of training on the side - and tracking down Bryaxis would be part of that - when she's caught by someone.

THE SHADOWS THAT SING by danydragons21 With the help of her sisters, two half-wraiths, a mortal queen with a heart of fire, a High Lord's son, and a dark, tortured spymaster, Elain is well on her way to achieving all she desires. But darkness is stirring, and danger is looming. Will Elain be enough to stop the greatest threat she and her friends have yet faced?

A COURT OF DUSK AND SHADOWS by bajablessed The Cauldron never bothered to give explanations - not when it mattered. Do what it wanted, and her heart would be free. Not yet, pretty, lovely thing, it crooned, and a scream built in her throat. Not yet -

GOODNIGHT, BELOVED series by moonlight_rain Elain discovers why Azriel has been avoiding her.

YOUR VOICE IN AUTUMN by thefangirlofhp In which Elain Archeron is voiceless but she makes people hear her loud and clear.

SHADOWS AND SORROW by katsum1 Almost a year after the events in ACOSF, Elain tries to figure out how she fits into the Night Court, wanting to find a purpose. When more of her gifts are uncovered, she jumps at the chance of serving the court in new ways. Meanwhile Azriel continues to wonder how he can feel so drawn to a female who belongs to another.

A COURT OF RESILIENCE AND IRON by gunrunner While feelings of inadequacy always threaten to drag her down, Elain must also deal with the burdensome reality of being the only known Seer in Prythian. Throw in an unwanted mating bond, and the unrequited feelings for one extremely handsome Illyrian, and Elain has a full plate of problems.

VISIONS OF YOU by miss_belivet Lucien’s voice was quiet, broken, as he whispered to Elain, “You’re my mate.” Nesta whirled on him, furious, but it was Azriel whose agonized groan rent the air. Every word he ground out through his gritted teeth was raw. “She’s my wife.”

A COURT OF FATE AND FORESIGHT by airelemental Elain always felt it; like the looming weight of an arrow about to strike her heart. Impressions of the cauldron's talons lived all over her, manifesting themselves into a permanent noose around her neck.

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL (TO END UP WITH YOU) by miss_belivet In another world, Elain serves Azriel at Solstice dinner, a bond between them snaps, and they are sent into the mating frenzy as chaos ensues around them.

A NECKLACE OF ROSES by helloyesimkate Reminiscent of Aelin being taken by Maeve (Azriel is mostly "oh shit oh no Elain's been taken fuck shit hell no shit" but Elain actually gets some stuff done.)

ENCHANTED by julesherondalex Elain has always known there’s more to her feelings towards Az than just friendly affection. When Azriel and Elain are sent to Adriata on a diplomatic mission, could this finally be the chance for close friends to become even closer?

TENDER JAR by feathery_malignancy When Elain has a vision concerning both Lucien and Graysen, she steels her courage and braves first the Spring Court and then the Mortal World, Azriel at her side. Lines are drawn and Elain must decide whether she will let her past shatter her or give in to the desires of her tender heart.

SHADOWS AND DREAMS by diggingtherabbithole Decades later, Elain and Lucien both accept each other as second choices, with Vassa once again being confined to the lake and Azriel never leaving his shadows.

OF SCARS AND ROSES series by ymaoh Elain Archeron has a vision and her relationship with the spymaster takes a turn.

A SURPRISE BUN by tswaney17 Elain has a secret, one that even the male she's been seeing doesn't know about yet. But when Cassian shows up unannounced at the townhouse, everything comes crumbling down around her.

ALL THIS TIME by i_will_always_find_you Elain decides to reject her mating bond to Lucien, only to find that what she had been looking for was in front of her all along.

FUNDAMENTALS IN CARING FOR HOUSE PLANTS by insulindsay Elain is a novice house-sitter and Azriel has an abundance of house plants in need.

EVERY ROSE by rowenaschuyler Elain explores her sexuality and finds herself while navigating the tricky mating bond she isn't willing to break with Lucien.

PRETTY LITTLE ANGEL by dottielovegood One thing leads to another, and Elain finds herself at a BDSM club. At a BDSM club with Azriel. At a BDSM club that Azriel owns.

PERFECTLY ALIGNED by rhysanoodle Elain Archeron is struggling to adjust to her new life as a High Fae. Luckily for her, she's about to become friends with a mysterious male and through him discover untapped powers and healing.

modern au

LOVE LETTERS by thefangirlofhp “And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.” – Kiersten White

ALL OF ME by julesherondalex Elain and Azriel spend Valentine's Day together watching Elain's favorite movie series - about certain handsome, winged Fae. They start the night as friends, but Cupid might have other plans.

SHADOWSINGER by dottielovegood Azriel does audio porn. Elain is a big fan.

I DO BAD THINGS WITH YOU by tswaney17 It's been ten years since they've seen or spoken to each other. But when the bank that Elain worked at part-time to pay for medical school is robbed at gunpoint, she's surprised when the criminals seem to recognize her and retreat in fear. When a threat arises, Elain and Azriel have to figure out a way to co-exist again while not letting their history or feelings get in the way.

NAVY SUITS & CHELSEA BOOTS by feathery_malignancy On the eve of Rhys and Feyre's wedding, Azriel decides to swallow his pride and finally make his move with Elain. However, if he wants her attention, he's going to have to win it from her douchebag boyfriend, Graysen.

SWEET TEMPTATION by eherondale01 After the fall of her father's jewelery empire, Elain Archeron left the world of social events and galas behind her. Working in a small bakery, Elain's life has become rather ordinary, right up until a certain mysterious, handsome stranger appears.

SHOW YOU HOW SADNESS CAN TURN INTO HAPPINESS by moonbeam007 For now, she learns that he is tall and that a scowl is set upon his face as though it were drawn with a permanent marker. His hands are warm when he takes her smaller one in his to shake it.

GINGERSNAP by thewraithsofmorhoggs Sitting before him is a fluffy, orange tabby cat, eyeing him with glowing, greenish eyes. Oh no. Elain owns a cat.

RECESSIONAL by ultadverb Elain Archeron has always wanted to travel. She's finally headed off to study abroad for a year after getting her heart broken by her ex-boyfriend, Grayson. Azriel has been pining after her for years. Cassian thinks it's past time to tell her how he feels before she's gone.

anything and everything by these authors

RADIENTWINGS LADY_THERION JULESHERONDALEX FAWNANDSHADOWS NIKETHESTATUE MISSKITKA RHYSANOODLE PROPSHOPHANNAH CITIZENOFVELARIS ROSEHALLSHADOWSINGER @THELADYOFDEATH & @SNELBZ

[simlit]

Chosen of the Sun | | portal // twelve

| @thesimperiuscurse | @poisonedsimmer

next / previous / beginning  

TAIYO: A forest… Well, I suppose it could have been much worse. THERION: Heh, this’ll be easy. TAIYO: I wonder where the others have been sent off. THERION: Not my problem. TAIYO: Suppose that’s true. Tell me, Therion, are you interested in winning the trials? THERION: Huh? Winning? TAIYO: You sounded rather competitive just then. THERION: I think you mistake my relief. More like, it takes an awful lot of energy to be concerned with everybody else. I’m trying to survive just as much as they are, right? We’re all in this fight on our own, whether we like it or not. TAIYO: I guess I never thought about it like that. TAIYO: So then, you don’t want to win? THERION: I didn’t say that. It’s not like I want to lose.   TAIYO: Fair point. THERION: Anyways, we should probably scout out our surroundings. I’m usually comfortable in the woods, but I don’t trust anything these challenges throw at us. Best make sure everything is as expected. TAIYO: Mm. I’ll follow your lead. I’m not exactly accustomed to surviving in the wilderness. THERION: laughs That’s obvious enough. Haven’t met a lot of humans. You like a prince or something? TAIYO: A prince? Me? No, of course not. THERION: No? You sure look, uh, fancy. TAIYO: You mean, rich? THERION: I mean, well, like the Seer. You’re... built different... you know… TAIYO: I get it. Where I come from, physical strength isn’t valued nearly as high as strength of mind. We’re trained from a young age, but not to swing a sword or shoot a bow. We learn science, astronomy, and mathematics. THERION: Suppose that’s all well and good, too. Won’t help you fight bears or catch dinner, but… TAIYO: My people rarely come down from our mountain temples. Don’t think there’s much use in knowing how to fight bears. Though, I’m sure I’ve read of someone who has. THERION: I’ll keep that in mind if we see any.

[ladykailolu]

Sooooooo I’ve recently fell in love with Octopath Traveler, and I’ve got some cute lil’ headcanons to share lol

For the record, I have completed only chapter 1 of every character except Therion and H’aanit as of writing this post.

So! I’d like to start:

--Alfyn and Cyrus are the most chatty of the group, with Tressa very close behind. They just feel comfortable talking to the general population, and in return, many people find them easy to talk to. Alfyn is pretty down-to-Earth and is the type of guy to strike up conversations in a tavern or even as a random passerby. On the other hand, Cyrus loves engaging in debates or deep conversations about a particular topic if the other party is interested. And it’s always a pleasant surprise when he “strikes gold” with more scholastic or witty/curious townsfolk. Any question that they have is met with a thoughtful and careful answer from him, and one questions leads to the next to the next to the next....It was pretty common for the other party members to have to drag Cyrus away because too much time would pass when he’s engaged in conversation.

--Point being, on the road, Alfyn and Cyrus would engage in spirited discussions with each other, about history, about medicine, about magic, about warfare, about the flora and fauna of the area...any and all manner of subjects would be discussed at length from the evening into well into the night hours as their campfire died down. Consequently, the two became quite close friends and agreed to visit each other in Clearbrook and Atlasdam once their respective journeys had concluded.

--Olberic is the dad of the group. Protective yet encouraging, striving to bring out the best potential in each person to better prepare them for the hardships waiting for them. He’s no pushover, however, and is not afraid to go all-out during friendly sparring sessions. Over a few days, he sees how Tressa handles her lance and immediately spots all the flaws with her posture and the way she holds back. So, he approaches her and offers to train her in properly and effectively handling a lance in battle. There, she learns the value of hardwork over days and weeks and months, her scars and bruises a testament to her efforts and progress. Yes, even for a young girl, Olberic will not easy. Her labors were fruitful when she fended off a horde of monsters by herself and her lance and protected their camp! In fact, even Olberic was impressed when he arrived to fight and found that the monsters had been slain by Tressa before he could even deal a single blow. He was quite proud to see how far his student had come...but she still had much to learn, in his eyes.

--Primrose kept quiet during the first few weeks of traveling with the party. She only joined for one reason: to kill the men who had murdered her father. If that meant she must part ways with her company then she would do so in a heartbeat. So, she tried to keep it “no strings attached,” and simply fought if their lives were in danger. Their survival meant her survival for now. Ophilia noticed this behavior right away since she had behaved similarly 15 years ago when the Archbishop of Flamesgrace welcomed her into his family. She thought it naive to consider this party as a family of sorts, but she ended up thinking that way anyway. So, she would take a leaf from her sister Liana’s book and bring Primrose out of the darkness of solitude. Over time, she sought the dancer out and offered to get her food or drink, whatever she wanted, or just to be an ear for conversation or a trusted confidant. She assumed her position as a cleric of the flame would put her into a better spot to gain Prim’s trust. At first, as expected, Prim gave only a few words and remained aloof, but over time, her walls melted underneath the fire Ophilia brought with her sympathetic words and empathic actions. For the first time in a long while, Prim felt that she could trust others again and made the first close friend since Yusufa.

--Somedays, while Olberic and Tressa sparred with their spears and Cyrus and Alfyn would have their lively discussions, Ophilia watched over the group with gentle amusement and prayed that neither Olberic nor Tressa would be too injured, while Primrose prepared for her dance routine by stretching in the fields not too far away from the main group.

[thedevillionaire]

Panacea

Exordium, part two, though this can be read as a stand-alone. This one comes with an 18+ label.  

Some other supernatural soap opera folk get brief appearances here too. Aera – Sorcery Leader and best of frenemies with Cerberus; Vampyra – Vampirism Leader; Ashtaroth – Incubus, Vampirism Understudy, Kia’s BFF and ex-FWB. Mentioned, not appearing: Lilith – Cerberus’ ex, and Therion, Demonics Understudy.  As always, any questions, please do ask! But anyway...

*

Offering a hurried apology, Cerberus sneezed again, more heavily than before, and Aera and Vampyra frowned at him simultaneously. “Cerberus, if you get me sick, I will never forgive you,” Vampyra said, the expression on her face suggesting that she was quite serious about it too. “I have far too many things to do, and not just this. Also, if I can’t do those things, then you’ll have to work with Ashtaroth or, more likely, whoever he sends in when he doesn’t feel like working, and you’ll completely deserve it. So think about that.”

“Mm,” seconded Aera, looking at Cerberus and raising her eyebrows as if daring him to disagree.

Cerberus, mildly affronted but feeling increasingly unwell, blew his nose, excused himself and took a drink of water. He cleared his throat, grimacing a little at the pain. “If either of you would like to try reclassifying the Demonics Levels without me, then please, go right ahead. Although surely Therion can do at least some of it. I’m not particularly keen to be here, you know.”

Aera rolled her eyes. “None of us are. And really, I’m still not convinced it’s even all that necessary.  We’ve gone generations without doing anything to rejig the whole ratings whatnot and the place hasn’t collapsed.” She waved a paper in the air as if it would back her up, not that anybody else could read it. “I mean, I do agree that there probably should be more fine detail between levels, but, at the same time, if…”

“Huh-TSSCH-uu!”

Cerberus, having abruptly derailed Aera’s point, muttered a reflexive, “Pardon me,” added a more than somewhat irked, “again,” and internally cursed himself for failing to shake this off despite his best efforts. He sniffled. Everything ached, his head foggy, this damned incessant itch still refused to abate, and he knew at this point his fight was a lost cause.

“For fuck’s sake, go home,” said Vampyra crossly.

A sharp nod of agreement from Aera. “Yep, what she said. You sound awful. Go be Kia’s problem. You can test her resolve about the whole ‘in sickness’ part of things,” she said with a brief sardonic laugh. “I’ll call Therion. If he fucks it up, you can fix it in a week or so, alright? Don’t pretend you wouldn’t be double-checking it all anyway,” she added. “And don’t argue.”

Cerberus hadn’t intended to. He stood, gave them both a curt nod of acknowledgement, remarked, “Don’t call me,” and disappeared.

 ----

 Closing the door behind him wearily, Cerberus leant back against it and sneezed heavily three times in succession, his eyes watering and his head pounding. Kia, her attention abruptly and thoroughly pulled from the Inception papers she’d been reviewing, peered down at him from her vantage point at the top of the stairs. Abandoning her work, concentration destroyed, she descended and crossed the foyer to meet him.

“Meeting over already? Or just over for you?” A rhetorical question, the answer writ unambiguous across her bonded’s entire demeanour. She reached up and put her hand on his forehead. “Well, at least you don’t have a fever. Oh, hon. I knew I should have kept you home tonight.” She gave him a soft look of chastisement. “What happened to ‘I’ll be fine’?”

He’d certainly meant to be fine. “Miscalculation,” Cerberus managed before his breath caught again, sharp and demanding, and he turned from Kia in haste. “Ahh-TSSCH-uu! Gods! Pardon me. *snf!* Sorry. Can’t seem to stop doing that.” He met her eyes with apologetic dismay, sighing. “I’ve been exiled.”

Kia made a gentle noise of sympathy, stroking his arm and motioning for him to accompany her into the loungeroom. She glanced up at him as his expression helplessly crumbled anew, pressing a pre-emptive tissue into his hand as he lost a very briefly fought battle against another heavy sneeze. “Hh-hh… Huh-ATSSCHH-uu!” He groaned, excused himself again, blew his nose.

“Aw, bless you, sweetheart. Sit,” Kia said, and Cerberus all but collapsed onto the couch. Kia moved to join him, stretching her arm across his shoulders and stroking his hair repetitively, soothingly. Cerberus closed his eyes, relaxing into her touch, although with a measure of reluctance. “Careful, darkling. I do not want to give this to you,” he murmured.

Kia, not concerned about that in the slightest, kissed him lightly. “I know.” She continued to stroke his hair, and he leant into her, energy drained and thankful for the respite she provided. “Do you have any cold meds in the house?”

Cerberus sat up a little straighter, sniffled again, shook his head. “I never catch cold,” he said with another sniffle, the unmistakeable notes of congestion starting to blunt his consonants now, and he conceded quickly to the soft challenge in his love’s eyes. “Alright, well, not never...clearly.” He claimed another several tissues, wiped his nose and sighed in weary resignation, pressed his fingers to his forehead against the relentless pulse of cold-fuelled ache. “But no.” And despite Kia’s expression now plainly reflecting well that probably wasn’t the best-laid plan was it, it was indeed true that he’d not had a proper cold for well over a year, possibly two – not that his newly bonded had any way of knowing that – and there were only so many unexpected events one could prepare for.

“Okay then, I’ll do a drug run,” said Kia, deciding practicality was the best course of action right now, and stood. “I shouldn’t be too long, depending on how busy Healing is. Here.” She handed him the box of tissues from the loungeroom table. “So, um, just a thought…if it is really busy, can I name drop you and skip the queue?” Kia raised her eyebrows archly.

“Hmm. Your hopes as recent Underworld queen are certainly ambitious,” Cerberus said, then after brief consideration added, “Although…yes, probably,” with a conspiratorial chuckle and a tired but knowing smile.

“Ha! I’m going to try it.” She kissed him again. “See you soon. Because queens don’t queue.”

 ----

 Kia did indeed return in good time, carrying a bag of Healing concoctions. “Hey, babe,” she said, kicking the door closed behind her and crossing the foyer to meet Cerberus in the loungeroom, where he now sat on the chair nearest the fireplace, looking more than a little defeated, a blanket draped across his shoulders, tissues in hand. “I didn’t get a chance to name drop my way to the top, because they were actually not busy, damn it. I swear, the only time I’ve ever kind of wanted them to be busy, and…nope. Anyway, the dealer is in,” she said, leaning over to kiss him.

Cerberus held up a finger to indicate that Kia should wait, pausing with brow creased in expectation, turning from her as that expectation escalated to urgency, excusing himself as hastily as he could, desperately and unstoppably overcome. “Huh-TSSCH-uu! Hh… h-huhTSCHHUU!”

“Bless you,” said Kia, looking at him with a mix of sympathy and concern. Cerberus acknowledged her as best he could, made a small sound of exasperation and sneezed again. “Ahh-TSCHUU! Gods!” He sniffled fiercely, managed to take a determined moment to recover, and met Kia’s compassionate gaze with a matter-of-fact certainty. “I’m going to die,” he announced succinctly.

Kia suppressed a laugh. “Oh, sweetheart. Well, um, probably not, but...”

“No, I-ihh-HH…” Cerberus inhaled sharply, shakily, and broke off in short order. “HehAHTSCHUU!” He groaned and cleared his throat, the resultant raw sting bringing with it instant regret. “I’m definitely dying.” He blew his nose, sniffling again, vaporised the latest addition to an increasingly long succession of used tissues, and put his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, darkling.” Looking back up at Kia in sincerest apology, he raked his hair back from his face and rubbed his nose with resolute firm hand, sighing heavily. “I have a question for you, though, if I may. I assume you remember the night I proposed?”

“Vividly,” Kia said, chuckling in reflex at the apparent randomness of it. “Interesting tangent. But first, drugs! You sound wrecked, hon.” She handed him the bag. “By the way, I’ve been warned that you’re a terrible patient. More than once.” A kiss pressed to his forehead. “A lot, you could say, actually.”

“Malicious lies,” said Cerberus as imperiously as he could manage, which wasn’t particularly so given the circumstance.

“Naturally.” Kia rested her arms on the back of the chair, and brushed some wayward hair out of his eyes, tucking stray tendrils behind his ears. “Anyway, I think…maybe you’ve just never had the right nursemaid.” She kissed the top of his head lightly, running her fingers through his hair now in a tranquil, repetitive motion.

Cerberus raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” Well, it was certainly true that Lilith had never been caretaker inclined – not that he’d considered any alternative reaction as a possibility at the time.  Avoidance of these sorts of…contagious absurdities seemed a perfectly reasonable response anyway, he thought, as he rubbed his nose once more against another rising itch, frowning, but managed for the moment to see it off. He refocused. “My question, then, darkling, if you’ll indulge me. Earlier that night at your old apartment, when I told you that you were always beautiful, you told me that I was either a liar or crazy.”

“Or drunk,” Kia added brightly.

“Ah, yes, of course. Anyway, love, if you are even the slightest bit attracted to me in this…frankly ridiculous state—” Cerberus sniffled sharply, as if to emphasise his point. “—then I’m afraid you owe me an apology.”  

“Hmm.” Kia smiled slyly, feigning consideration, as she continued toying with heavy ebony hair, trailing her touch further now, slowly, down angular jawline, across broad shoulders, and mused, “I don’t know. I mean, what if I am crazy? Because—”

An acute deep inhalation the only warning, Cerberus interrupted her with a sudden, powerful sneeze. “AAHTSSCHHUU! ..ugh. Excuse…” he began, but the insistent, demanding need was not yet sated. “Huh-TSCHU-uu! Oh, for…” Another catch in his breath and he surrendered again, almost doubling over with the force of it. “Ahh-HEHTSSHHUU! Fuck! If I find out who’s responsible for this, I will immolate them!” His patience completely at an end, he looked up at Kia in consternation, the frustrated fury alight in vivid emerald indicating there was every chance that he wouldn’t so much as hesitate if given the opportunity.

“Sweetheart, I know that’s kind of a Demon king perk, but…probably a bit extreme in this case.” Patting his shoulder firmly on her way, Kia moved to sit on the table in front of him and tried to think a little less about just how deliciously being indignantly dishevelled suited him. For the time being, at least. She took his hand in hers, held his gaze. “Alright, I want you to listen to me now, okay? Take the drugs, go to bed and I promise I will do my best to make everything better in just a little while, but you have to help me out here.”

With a discomfited sigh, Cerberus sniffled again, apologised – though that green fire, albeit ameliorated slightly, still burned apparent – and nodded after a short time in mildly begrudging concession. He stood, taking the bag of Healing concoctions and the tissues with him. “As you wish, darkling,” he said, and kissed Kia gently on the top of her head. Another sniffle. “But make no mistake – an immolation would be entirely and thoroughly deserved.”

 --

 :Ash! Hi! Sorry about the intrusion, but I was hoping maybe you’d want to come entertain me for about an hour or so? Are you busy?: Kia stretched her legs out across the coffee table and took a sip of wine. :Also…I could kind of use your help.:

Ashtaroth needed no further encouragement. :Not busy, definitely would like to get the hell out of here, will help with whatever. See you imminently, sweetie.:

Kia laughed and began walking towards the door, reaching and opening it at almost the exact moment Ashtaroth arrived. He smiled and hugged her in greeting. “Alright, fill me in, love. A time limit and a mystery task? Darling, what is going on?”

“Come in first,” said Kia, heading back into the loungeroom to reclaim her wine and pour one for Ashtaroth. She took a seat on the couch and motioned for him to join her. “Okay, well, basically, the short version is I’m on a bit of a medication timeline, and I could use some assistance with getting into an outfit.”

Ashtaroth, taking a seat beside Kia, raised his eyebrows. “Not out of? Where’s the fun in that?” He smiled mischievously. “Wait, did you say medication timeline?” He looked closely at Kia, frowning in concentration. “Well, all hail to the Healing team. I’d never have picked you as ill. What’s wrong?”

“Not me.” She pointed upstairs. “Head cold.”

“My, my. So the delicious Demon can be undone like the rest of us after all. I imagine he’s taking it just marvellously.” Ashtaroth chuckled. “Ah…and you intend to be the cure, am I right? I am, aren’t I?” He grinned, winked and raised his wineglass in a toast. “Well, then. To the goddess Kia, panacea!”

“Ooh, I like it!” Kia laughed. “A little bit ambitious there, maybe, but, well, I’m going to try, so…here’s hoping, at least for a while. Cheers!” Kia raised her glass also, then hesitated. “Oh, actually, hang on. Probably shouldn’t. There’s kind of a fair bit of fiddly lacing up of stuff to be done yet.”

Ashtaroth drank his wine anyway. “I’m well practised,” he remarked. “And since I’m very sadly not actually the one who’s going to be the beneficiary of this, and I’ve only got an hour here – even less than that now – honestly, I should probably have your drink too.”

Kia laughed again. “Fine, but I’ll be doing my own eyeliner.”

“Deal!” Ashtaroth claimed Kia’s wineglass for himself, smiling playfully. He took a sip, then said, his tone serious and genuine, “You’ll be fucking irresistible, Kiki love. He’s so lucky.”

“Oh, Ash,” Kia said, touched. She kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, sweetie.”

“I mean it. He is. And I think,” Ashtaroth said, toying with Kia’s hair, “that after this you’ll even properly believe it yourself.” He stood, finishing the rest of the wine, and offered his hand. “Alright, come on! Let’s get you even more gorgeous.”

 ----

 Kia opened the door to the bedroom quietly, peeking in at Cerberus, who was semi-lying, semi-sitting amid an array of pillows on the bed, a Demonics text in one hand, and smiled to herself. Perfect. She entered the room.

Cerberus pushed some hair back from his face, sniffling lightly. Healing’s assistance had brought some manner of relief, though his head was still somewhat heavy with the cold he’d come home with and – to his immense irritation – failed to shake off, but he sat up a little straighter and widened his eyes as his bonded walked slowly further into the room, closing the door behind her. Kia, dressed for pure seduction in a black silk fitted minidress, velvet and lace detailed, bodiced and skintight, six-inch stilettos and sapphire eyes kohl smoked, her hair a wildness of arranged disorder, gave him a knowing smile as she reached the foot of the bed, and stopped. She placed one fishnet-clad leg smoothly onto the bed and looked directly at Cerberus, who gazed back at her in a mix of astonishment, disbelief and desire.

“Hey, babe,” she purred, shifting to sit now on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, her hourglass figure lushly emphasised by the corsetry she wore. “As promised…I am here to make your night…better.” Rearranging herself to straddle him, she lowered her body across his and traced a tapered dark ruby fingernail along his jawline, cupping his face in her hand and kissing him deeply before sitting up again, fluid, measured, catlike.

Stunned, Cerberus couldn’t take his eyes off her, absently dropping the text to the floor and barely noticing that he’d done so, mesmerised and fixated, only returning to his senses as a re-emergent, rising tickle sharply forced his attentions redirected. With a brief frown and shake of his head, he hastily claimed a handful of tissues from the box on the bedside table, apologising as he did so but unable to do anything else much about it. “HHTSCHuu! ahH… HuhTSCHuu! Ah, gods, I’m s…” he began, intending to attempt a half-hearted protest that he wasn’t at all sure he was up to this and that he’d meant it when he’d said that he didn’t want Kia to get sick too, but she wouldn’t hear of it. “Shh,” she soothed, putting a finger to his lips. “That’s a chance I’m willing to take.” A little smile and a quick, gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. :Bless you.: Pressing herself closer again, she kissed him anew, warmsensual, indulgent. “And you don’t need to do anything…well, one thing, but I don’t think,” she continued, now trailing her hands down to his inner thighs and pressing, coaxing, insistent, “you’ll have any trouble with that.” She gave him a sultry smile and a quick wink as she felt him harden at her touch. She pushed herself against him a little more, and Cerberus made a small sound of pleasure, closing his eyes, giving in. Kia smiled again, briefly, wickedly, as she moved to weave her fingers through his hair and gently but firmly pull him towards her, teasingly licking, lovebiting and kissing him before murmuring, “Okay, babe, I need you—" Another soft kiss. “—to trust me now.” And another kiss, intense and absolute, accompanied by a heatwhispered Mindsend of :Drop your Protect.:

Cerberus immediately opened his eyes again at this, meeting Kia’s gaze directly, serious, questioning. :Darkling…: he began in reply, uncertainty evident, but she did not relent.

:Trust me.:

And he looked at his love, his heart, and he chose to trust her in a way that he had never trusted another and so gave himself over absolutely, and she took him in body and psyche and she was power, essence, flesh and dream, she was air and emergence, she was sensurround envelopment and possession, immersion, complete and completion, weight and flight and heat and heat and (oh gods) heat, sanctuary and abandon. She was vibration, whisper, scream and pulse, metronomic beat-beat steady and crescendo (breathe) and fall (gods) and arise, crescendo, once more, once more, again immerse again again (breathe) and again (breathe) fire my love, fire, the inferno elemental and burn, burn, burn. She was becoming, she was ascension, she was all the unknown and all the familiar. She was warmth and blood, the crimson charisma, ecstasy and power, she was urgency, debauchery, divinity, desperation, she was insatiable lust and beautiful sanctuary, the splendorous art of the succubus supreme, the frisson edge, enveloping centre and magnificent release, release, ravenous need, and (oh) she danced, yes, (oh) yes, unstoppable force ascendant, as she took his hand, his heart, his sex and his soul and she was everything, everything, everything, and she was, they were, and (oh, oh gods, oh) he was wildpurest sensation, plenary surrender, ecstatic enraptured climactic consummation everything (oh gods) everything (oh gods) everything and (oh gods yes) they were everything and now he was (oh, oh gods) he was (OH) he was hers, he was hers, he was oh (!GODS!) he was hers as he came supplicant unprecedented and she wrapped her arms around him and whispered I love you through his entire being, more than and more than, and kissed him like there was nothing else in the world but this…

..and Cerberus, as beyond words as he’d ever been, found himself unable to do anything more than gaze at Kia in a state of amazed reverie as she smoothly shifted positions on the bed to kneel beside him. She smiled gently, a little impishly. “Feeling better, yeah?” she said with a wink, and placed the palm of her hand on his forehead. :Get some sleep, babe: she Mindsent with Compel, taking advantage of his Protect still being down, and in entranced tractable rapture, he fell readily into unconsciousness. Kia kissed him lightly and stood, gathered some scattered items of clothing from on top of the bed, repositioned the bedcover to ensure he’d stay warm, and made her way downstairs, privately but without reservation delighted.

 ----

 Cerberus, rested and freshly showered and impeccably dressed in an all-black silk nightwear ensemble and robe, his hair still slightly damp and falling loose around his shoulders, entered the loungeroom slowly, almost cautiously, meeting Kia’s eyes with an intense focus as he did so. She smiled idly up at him from where she was lying stretched across the sofa and put the book she’d been reading aside. “Hello, sweetheart,” she said. “You’re looking quite unfairly hot right now. I’m not sure you should be, but…whatever. I’m fine with it.” She grinned. “I might even take some of the credit.”

Cerberus chuckled quietly. “You probably deserve all of the credit, darkling.” He walked over to sit opposite her and looked at her almost in study, a slight frown on his face, contemplative and in consideration for some time before he asked, sincerely and seriously, “What did you do to me?”

“Well, hopefully gave you the best orgasm ever, but I think you might mean more specifically, yeah?” He indicated agreement, and she continued. “Immerse and Possess, the succubus experience deluxe. Everything but the Take.” Kia smiled again. “I’m pretty good, you know,” she said haughtily.

Cerberus acknowledged this with a nod and soft laugh of assent. “I… We’ve had some marvellous sex, darkling, truly, but you… That… I can’t… You…” He shook his head. “Damn it, I really thought I’d have things together by now.” He sighed heavily, smiled a little, and sniffled. “Apparently I’ve forgotten how to talk.”

Kia laughed. “Babe, you’re sick and full of meds and, well, let’s face it, still a little fuckstruck, so…”

 “I’m what now?”

 Kia smiled, gentle victorious, and blew him a kiss.

 :Mine.:

 ----

[legendaryandroid]

Wasn’t tagged, but wanted to participate in this questionnaire anyways.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 41

2) What's your total AO3 word count? 

417,725

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve written for 12 different fandoms, a lot are various FE games, but then i have a decent amount for Detroit: Become Human and some for Octopath Traveler and HLVRAI.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Staredown - a humorous DBH fic where Connor is giving Gavin trouble.

Running Towards You - a soulmate AU for Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson involving soulwords

Waiting For You - a soulmate AU for Yusei Fudu/Jaden Yuki involving timers and time travel

Take it or Leave it - a Hank Anderson & Connor fic involving a/b/o (but no smut)

A Simple Reflection of You - a platonic soulmate AU for Hank Anderson & Connor where you see your soulmate if you’re both looking in the mirror at the same time

(Yes, I really love writing soulmate AUs, and for funsies I try to make all their titles end in ‘you’)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

I flip back and forth on this. It seems polite so I’ll try and do it, but at the same time I get a bit nervous about it and wonder if anyone even wants to get a response?

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t write a lot of angsty fic, but probably either Waiting for You, or Stuck on You. Though they’re almost more bittersweet than angsty? Actually, I suppose Until Separation Ends might be a bit angsty at the end.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I’m gonna go with 2+1=3 just for cutesy Taiju/Senku/Yuzuriha getting together shenanigans.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written? 

I don’t, mostly because the ones I think of tend not to have anything solid enough for me to write about it. Right now I’ve been thinking about a Star Wars/Red vs Blue crossover where the reds and blues are actually all clone troopers. It’d probably take place during the prequels, with the usual red and blue shenaniganery happening in the background of major events.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have not thankfully. At most I’ve gotten a comment or two where someone seemed displeased with my story choices, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it hate? I’m way too unknown to get hate I think.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Noooope. I’m way too embarrassed to write any kind of smut, and honestly am not really sure how to go about writing it in a way that’s engaging? Though I do have a smut-ish idea that is haunting me enough that I may take a stab at it.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Doubtful, but I wouldn’t know.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yep, me and my bestie yamarik wrote the Yakuza 13 series together. It’s a modern AU where Sora and Vanitas are twins who get adopted by Organization 13, who are gangsters. (also, if you like the K anime, and especially Fushimi/Yata, check yamarik’s works out!)

14) What's your all time favourite ship?

My favorite ship flows and changes as I shift fandoms, so it never stays the same. Currently I’ve been focused on Cyrus/Therion (Octopath Traveler), but May/Steven (Pokemon) and Link/Zelda are sorta longstanding ones.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

basically all of them? jk jk. Umm, probably my Sylvain&Miklan relationship study fic. It’s about the time Miklan abandons Sylvain on a mountain in the middle of winter. I wanted to explore the idea of Sylvain always looking up to Miklan, almost like a hero, even if he could be a jerk sometimes. And this moment, when he manages to get back home and sees everyone freaking out and Miklan angry that he made it back, is when Sylvain realizes that Miklan truly hates him. (I also wanted to like, drop bits in there where it shows Miklan does, in a way, care for Sylvain, but it’s overwhelmed by his hatred). But alas, i cannot seem to get myself to write the last few pages.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I would say having straightforward and easy to understand writing. Also I’m great at coming up with fun plots and ideas, but IDK how much that relates to writing specifically?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue, I feel like I have trouble keeping dialogue in character and that it tends to be too straightfoward in driving the plot. And when it is more casual, it just feels clunky.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

As long as there’s a translation at the end of the chapter it’s used in I’m fine. Unless there is vital information in there that a reader can’t pick up from the context around it.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dengeki Daisy, an old-ish shoujo manga. Fun fact: This fic was also the first one for the fandom on ffnet.

20) What's your favourite fic you've written? 

we found love in a garbage place A HLVRAI Coomer/Bubby fic.This fic I really focused on trying to portray Coomer the way I wanted to, and it worked out really well. (Also honorable mention to my OT fic Divine Enlightenment, because that came together delightfully.)

[semi-imaginary-place]

started playing octopath traveler. i like the visual design, music and general aesthetics. thk it is hard to tell where you can walk and where you cant. im not sure if the xp to next level means exp in this levels bin, like progress so far, or how much exp is need until the next level up. ui weirdness. sunshade section is real uncomfortable between orientalism, sexual coersion and worker exploitation! yall should unionize. oh it really is sex slavery. yikes. this is uncomfortable.

at least i got to kill him. was thinking why did primrose end up a sex slave if she really wanted to kill her father’s murderer why didn’t she train as a assassin or warrior like olberic for 15 years. but then i thought about it and posing as a dancer is exactly the stupid sort of thing a child would think up and then the slimebag tavern owner probably trapped her in a mile of debt and exploited someone vulnerable.

i started with tressa and went counterclockwise around the sea so now im done with everyone’s chapter 1. there’s was no real reason for choosing tressa, her’s seemed to be a less serious story and a soft intro to the game. and now that i have a party of tressa, therion, and alfyn its all about that economy. alfyn has powerful item based abilities and tressa and therion have abilites to get items so i hit the item cap (99 stack per item) before i hit level 20. I also got like a 120 atk bow before level 10 lol. money money money.

can’t believe shinto-catholic girl’s story got to me. h’aanit’s story is the one i find most compelling and the ch 2 i want to see the most. i like cyrus. he reminds me of miles edgeworth. comedically super serious walking sherlock holmes reference. also is it me or are there a lot of pop culture references in this game. my favorite character tho is alfyn. he’s a good boy. he also reminds me of one of my highschool ocs. what a good boy, i love him.

octopath traveler is a weird title. why didn’t they go with like the paths of eight travelers. or eight traveler’s paths. and what’s up that cat burglar enemy

overall i think the ch 1s were decent. there were some tropes that just seemed to be there because they are genre staples instead of doing anything with them, but its also only the first chapter. i said it already but the music is really good.

i ostly picked it up because time limited input games aren’t really enjoyable for me and there are so few games these days that aren’t like that. gameplay is like halfway between goldensun with its character based puzzle solving and the nds era smt games with the elemental weaknesses being a major part of battle. some of the ui stuff is clunky. the transition to battle screen is just bad. also idk if i missed it but weird that i can’t find the protags’ ages anywhere given how you learn the ages of every random npc. i mean i can guess based on the ages of people in their starting town. like alfyn, primrose, and ophilia are all like early twenties like. not quite as sure for h’aanit and therion but probably early-mid twenties too. tressa seems like typical jrpg protag age so like 17. olberic seems a bit older like mid thirties? the blur effect is too strong for my taste, i do like how it puts into focus where you character is at, but just a bit too much. some of the glittery effects seem to be based on where you are on the map so if you run around the white dots move super fast and i don’t like the look. i think there were trying to go for like a  boko or whatever and its fine if you take a screenshot of it, but in motion its really annoying.

oh yeah and i haven’t even started any ch2s and its already been 20+ hours so... im going to be here a while. (i keep getting lost!)

went and spoiled myself on secret classes. primrose deserves warmaster. i dont even play her (i dont get the summoning mechanics) but its what she deserves. read about how making cyrus a sorcerer is redundant, but have you considered, i like big numbers.

so party comp. i can’t get rid of tressa but i always need money anyways. therion is there for the same reason. and alfyn is there to use all the items and because he’s my fav. the last spot cycles between cyrus and h’aanit. i also really like h’aanit but cyrus’s ability is usefulf for finding weaknesses because i struggle to remember which elements i’ve already tried out and its such a bad time for me without cyrus. also big numbers. give me the explosions.

[coasttocoastreads]

Welcome back to Week 2 of Coast to Coast Reads! Who’s still alive? Katya and I are dying while social distancing, but at least we had a few laughs discussing this book:

Crescent City (House of Blood and Earth) // Sarah J Maas

★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one two gif(s):

Real Summary:

Crescent City, a place where vanir (supernatural beings such as angels, fae, shifters, etc.) and humans freely mingle and go about their days. Bryce Quilan is a 20-something fae/human who’s still reeling from the murder of her friends 2 years ago. But after she’s commissioned to help search for an ancient artifact, Bryce, along with her new angel partner Hunt, unearth previously buried secrets about the murder that threaten to expose a worldwide conspiracy. 

Pros:

Great side characters. I would die for each and every one of them.

Lots of different mythological creatures! Not just another Fae Book™️

Cons:

It’s literally ToG 2-7 combined. If you read Throne of Glass, you’ve already been spoiled for this book. 💀💀💀

It’s wayyyy too long

Drags a lot in the beginning

Plot .5/5 (the .5 is for you, Lehaba)

What can I say. SJM literally plagiarized herself by taking the plotline of the tog books and translating it to this new setting. The writing itself was subpar, and most of the time it felt like the author herself had no idea where the plot was going, instead letting it drag on until a plot twist that makes no sense is revealed. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there.) I’ll compare CC with ToG with spoilers under the cut. 

Pacing 2/5

The beginning is full of info-dumping as SJM tries to set up this world which is metaphorically like ours, but everyone’s hot and does fantasy cocaine all the time.  It narrates boring day-to-day schedules that could have been condensed into a paragraph and at times I was tempted to skip ahead. The plot does pick up near the last 25% though, so I’ll give it that. 

Worldbuilding 2.5/5

It was confusing. To be fair, after all the info was dumped at the beginning, I didn’t bother going back to try to figure things out when they popped up again after. But like still??? I think I only started understanding the hierarchy of the government with the Asterrii(?). Also what are the Triarii I am still lost. SJM attempts to blend a more modern society with one of fantasy creatures, and for the most part it succeeds, but it often just feels...strange. I think the one thing I’m most hung up about is why swords and guns still coexist. Like ??????? it’s one or the other plssssss abandon the “aesthetic” Also while they literally have cell phones and keurig machines there aren’t common things like cars? Why.

Characters: (This is unconventional, bear with me)

Main Characters: -infinity/5 they could go die for all I care

Bryce and Hunt were both super unlikeable, 10/10 would let fall from a cliff. They are literally just rewrites of Aelin and Rowan? Bryce is like ahahaha yeah people think I’m Just a dumb vapid Female™️ who parties too much and gets trashed but SIKE I’m actually the chosen one and I’ve been hiding it this whole time because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings uwu. And did I mention I’m actually a trained Warrior who can keep up with The Boys? It’s Aelin y’all. There are numerous times where a character says that she’s not stupid and I’m like...are you sure... This girl makes the poorest decisions, yet ofc, there aren’t any long term consequences... (Also 99% of her problems come from ghosting people literally just respond with “k” sis)

Hunt is... idek what to say about Hunt. He’s just Rowan but in angel form. His inner monologue cycles between I must pay off my debt so I can gain Freedom 😔, why is Bryce so hot 🥴, and Shahar 😭. Once again, literally Rowan who also was bound to some evil villain, had the hots for their CENTURIES YOUNGER pupil/protectee, and had an old lover die tragically which led to them believing they can never find love again UNTIL BryLin comes along. Snooze. 

Side Characters: Infinity/5 

Ruhn Danaan was the most valid character and that’s the hill I’ll die on. He literally just wanted to protect his sister cuz she’s stupid af but she keeps pushing him away bc he’s an “alphahole” (haha how subversive :/) I want a whole book about him and Hypaxia, preferably fanfiction so I don’t have to read “soft feminine breathing” ever again.

Literally all the supporting cast- Lehaba, Therion, Ithan, Jesiba, Flynn, Connor, etc, etc. had more compelling characters and side stories than Bryce/Hunt. I was 100% more invested in them and I can’t wait to read/write more about them. 

(Pls let me marry Jesiba Roga or Therion 🥺)

But while the people on the “good” side were spectacular, the villains all felt one-dimensional and the product of over-recycled and overused tropes mashed together. Sandriel and Pollux are literally just Maeve and Cairn (is that his name)

I’d recommend for:

People who loved Throne of Glass and are lamenting the absence of new content. Please read about Rowaelin 2.0

People stuck at home during this global crisis and have too much time on their hands. (If you need that free epub, hmu)

People who are willing to skip all scenes that feature just Bryce and/or Hunt 

People who hate themselves

Would I travel here?

Sorry, what? Already shredded my passport, not getting a replacement, sorry. 

Overall thoughts:

I wish I could somehow take those hours of my life back but alas. 

See y’all in two weeks with a hopefully better book selection,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

Okay time to VENT

OKAY so CC=ToG, let’s break down how

Danika’s death is the Nehemia Incident, setting the mc up for a journey of self discovery/reclaiming their power. They both show up as ghosts later to encourage mc in a time of great self-struggle.

Syrinx if Fleetfoot. bc all female mc’s need a pet to reveal her Feminine and Soft side

Sandriel and Pollux are Maeve and Cairn. Evil female character with vast power and her torturer? COOKIE CUTTER FORMULA. The scene where Bryce offers herself up for Hunt in the lobby also kinda mirrors that scene in..HoF? QoS? Don’t remember, but pretty sure that happened. Also that scene was so fucking dumb, I really thought Bryce had a Smart Plan, but I was bamboozled once again. 

A gem from my notes: “Bryce is Aelin but with cocaine”

I think the whole demon portal thing is a ripoff of ACOWAR (or is it KoA I can’t even remember), sacrificing yourself to close the rift, etc, etc. 

Anyways, Bryce = Aelin, a party-girl front with a sob backstory that’s her superpower origin story who always has a Plan. 

Hunt = Rowan, broody warrior busy repaying debts getting orders they don’t want while pining over a lost love. They reluctantly let the female mc in and voila they’re in LOVE

The whole “plot twist” that revealed Hunt’s true plan along was so fucking dumb...

It wasn’t a plot twist, it was just plain bad writing

There was no set up at all, nothing alluding to Hunt secretly masterminding an attempted coup with the help of Magic Meth

The whole time I was like “...this is part of their plan right. There’s no way he legit planned this...”

Character’s POVs should reveal what they’re thinking, even if you’re just hinting at something to reveal later...this was just lazy

Another thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the sudden reveal that Fury and Juniper had been in a relationship the whole time? Despite like above, there was no prior allusion to that?

It felt like half-assed representation at best and completely irrelevant to the story with it coming up again in a throwaway line near the end

Also? I’m fairly certain there was a scene in the beginning where they were all out clubbing and Juniper hooked up with some rando while Fury was also at the club with them? Was this before they got together or did SJM insert this so last minute that no one caught it?

Wtf is sunball. Can someone just help me out here.

Some people have been saying Hunt is Asian coded? Where???!!!!! All I’m seeing is the same stuff she pulled in ACOTAR where all the Illyrians were tan so people could claim they were poc for woke points but not get in trouble for art depicting them as white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SJM pls stay away from “like calls to like” you don’t deserve it

[coinsandmedicine]

I apologize to Alfyn for my earlier outburst. Hope we can be friends or smth! Anyways, I have a question. H’aanit, if not hunting, is there another occupation that you would take? Alfyn, anything else you would do? Hell, actually, ask everyone this question!

Alfyn: Oh, uhhhh, thanks buddy.

Alfyn: I’m perfectly fine with the job I have; anything to help another’s health is a good job for me!

H’aanit: Hunting is what makest me feel most alive, so I would not have wanteth any other occupation. But being a fighter to protect mine village would be quite a decent job for me.

Tressa: A journalist, maybe a sailor... anything that has to do with traveling!!

Cyrus: A traveling researcher, perhaps? I could learn more about the continent and perhaps even the world that way.

Olberic: Any occupation that can help protect people is fine by me.

Primrose: Hmm... I’ve always wanted to dance so I haven’t really thought of much else for an occupation...

Ophilia: I haven’t thought much about it either...serving for the Church is enough of an occupation for me.

Therion: Yeah, can’t say I’ve thought of any occupations either. I mean, I’ve been a thief for all my life, y’know...

[chroniclesofdancer]

It’s like a piece of you is missing chapter 1

Fandom: Octopath Traveler

Pairing: Cyrus/Therion

Rating: Teen

Summary: A comment Cyrus leaves on a video of a short film Therion made,  sparks a new friendship between the two of them. But what will happen when the feelings go from friendship to love? They live in separate countries Cyrus in the UK and Therion in America, can they make it work despite the distance?

Part 1: Therion

Therion had finally finished editing for the short film that he had directed and performed in. He had never edited a film before, he was pretty certain that he hadn’t done the best job of it; however the editor he had hired for the project had to quit and there was nobody else available at such a short notice, and thus Therion had bitten the bullet and decided to edit it himself. The project had been way more stressful than it had any right to be, but he was at least glad that it was over now. He decided that it was time to post it online, at the very least the film would gain some recognition.

Once he had posted his video he went about his day normally, he had an audition later that afternoon for a TV show. He made himself a mug of coffee and went through his script for the audition, he would be auditioning for a main role in the second season and the show was pretty popular in America, so he hoped that he would get it. It would be a good opportunity to put on his CV in any case. Once he had drunk his coffee it was time for him to leave to get the train. The audition was in the city of Pittsburgh, an hour away from where Therion was living.

When he came back later in the evening, the audition having been a success, he decided to check to see if his video had been watched yet. He booted up his PC and opened up the video. To his surprise, he found there was a comment already.

~

Cyrus A:

I must say this short film is well acted, I enjoyed the plot very much. I see no problems with the script or performance. Might I point out that the editing transitions were a little off? I mean no disrespect when I say this, it’s not so jarring but it is a little noticeable. In any case, I think you did a pretty good job.

Therion read the comment a couple of times as he thought through how best to respond to it.

Wolfblade productions:

Hey, thank you for commenting on my work. I’m glad you enjoyed the acting and the scripting. Truth be told I’ve never edited a video before as you can see. I don’t think you were being disrespectful, you have to learn to take criticism in this industry.

He didn’t have to wait long before another reply came through.

Cyrus A:

Thank goodness for that. I would say that for a first attempt at editing, you did a really good job in any regard. Heaps better than what I would have been able to do I can assure you. Anyway I better not keep posting and filling up your comment section with my ramblings. If you would like to keep up this conversation, you are free to email me. My contact email is on my profile, keep up the good work!

~

Therion was curious so he went to check out the email address, he began typing out an email thinking carefully about what he wanted to say. He had always found it much easier expressing himself in writing than he did speaking, even though it took him a while to learn how to read and write since his childhood and adolescence was so chaotic. He shook his head, this wasn’t the time to think about that. He was in a much better place in his life, he had a job that he loved. The past was in the past, even if he still had nightmares.

Back and forth all evening he sent emails to Cyrus, he found out that he was a university professor who lived in England. It was funny how intrigued he was about him, something about the way he wrote was so charming. How he said he was looking forward to seeing more from Therion, it was nice to know that somebody enjoyed his work. It was beginning to get late, so Therion decided to send his last email for the night.

~

To: Cyrus Albright

From: Therion Wolfblade

Hey.

I think it’s time that I went to bed now, I have to get up early to see my management in the morning. It’s been nice talking to you, I hope to hear from you again so you can give me some more pointers on how to improve my editing haha. I hope your classes go well tomorrow man, I know it’s later for you over there than it is for me.

Therion.

~

With that email sent, he shut off his computer and made his way to bed. His dreams that night were peaceful, for once he was not plagued with nightmares he had landed the job in the TV show, he had gotten to know somebody. This day was going well for Therion, he didn’t know that this email was the start of something truly amazing. There would be rough times ahead for him, but his life would change for the better. All because of Cyrus Albright.

~

Part 2: Cyrus

Cyrus hadn’t had the chance to check his email since the night before. He’d ended up staying up later than he intended and had to quickly rush to the university. Thankfully Oxford university was only a ten minute drive from his house. It was funny, he had been born and raised in Oxford and had studied at the university himself. He had never left, the university had been a big part of his life since his late teens. He had found himself often dreaming of travelling, exploring the world a little more. But he never had.

He opened up his laptop and the first thing he did was check his email, he had spent so much time emailing Therion last night, often times it was him rambling. He read through the last email that Therion sent him with a small smile on his lips. He hoped that the other had a good day too.

~

To: Therion Wolfblade

From: Cyrus Albright

Good day Therion.

My classes went very well today thank you. I had to give a lesson about the Roman empire today, I haven’t taught that subject in a while, so it was good to refresh my memory on it. I’ve found that I have many historic dates just stored away in my brain. The students seemed to enjoy having their brains refreshed on the topic too, I would imagine that the Roman empire was something that was taught to them when they were children; at least it was for me.

I hope your day went well, and that your meeting with your management was successful. It must be so exciting that you’re going to be acting in ‘The Eight Travellers’, I’m such a huge fan of that show. It’s funny, when I first watched the show; it was almost like I knew it really well you know? It’s great that there will be a second season, and that you’re going to be a main role. I can’t wait to start watching it.

Anyway I shall look forward to hearing from you later.

Yours sincerely Cyrus.

~

It was about an hour later when he heard the ping of an email coming through to his inbox, he opened it and read the newest email from Therion. He told him that his day had gone very well, and that his management were pleased both with his audition and the short film that he had posted. Cyrus felt a grin on his face as Therion wrote how he already said his film had a fan, oh he wondered who that possibly could have been.

He continued to email Therion back and forth once again all evening, he had almost forgotten to eat; however Therion had reminded him when he had said he needed to get food himself. Cyrus had never emailed somebody so much, it was quite curious how easy it was to talk to Therion. The other didn’t write much and he got the impression he wasn’t much of a talker, but Cyrus didn’t mind. Therion was attentive, he asked questions; he seemed as curious about Cyrus than he was about him.

How could he have possibly known that this curiosity would lead to him finding the love of his life? Cyrus had never had a serious relationship before in all of his thirty years. Life would become truly amazing for him, all thanks to Therion.

[asheewrites]

Tavern Blues

A little story after this wonderful tavern banter: 

Alfyn: That should do ‘er! Now the ale’s ready for drinking!

Cyrus: And we’re all here, right on time.

Therion: …But I want everyone to know that drinks can be enjoyed all the same in complete silence.

Olberic: Come now. Where is the fun in that?

Alfyn: I now pronounce the Official Drinking Games underway! Gentlemen, you may begin!

Cyrus: …I…I concede.

Alfyn: Giving up early, ain’t you, Professor?

Cyrus: Indeed. You must forgive me, but I’d rather drink at my own pace, or not at all.

Therion: (Out, but not down, huh?)

Olberic: (He’s a man who likes to savor his drinks, it would appear.)

Alfyn: I’ve got to hand it to you fellahs. Guys back in the village would already be under the table. 

Therion: Thieves who can’t hold their liquor aren’t long for the business. 

Olberic: I, too, oft had need to drink in my younger days. Familiarity breeds resilience. 

Cyrus: …Indeed. But there are limits. Practice and familiarity can only take you so far.

Alfyn: Well, I ain’t done yet- another round!

Therion: …All right. I’m calling it quits.

Alfyn: Hahaha. You lily-livered milksop! I’m good for another cask!

Therion: I know when to cut my losses. But I’ve got to hand it to you: you’re stronger than you look.

Alfyn: That’s what they all say!

Cyrus: (’Tis a wise bandit indeed, who puts down his glass before his agility is adversely affected.)

Alfyn: It’s just you an’ me then, Olberic!

Olberic: Haha! Let the duel commence, my medicinal friend!

Alfyn: Uh-oh…

Olberic: Hohoho…

Alfyn: (By the gods, he’s like a bottomless barrel! He’s been smilin’ and relaxed like he’s only on his third mug- what’s it gonna take to knock him out!?)

Olberic: Hohoho… (Demons take me, but I cannot seem to stop giggling… I haven’t been pushed this far in a drinking game since my contest with Erhardt- a match that I lost.)

Alfyn: (I reckon the next glass will be his last, though…)

Olberic: (Have I met my match once more…?)

Therion: All right, that’s enough, you two.

Alfyn: Wh-what d’ya mean? I’m just getting’ warmed up…

Therion: Tell that to the tavern master. 

Cyrus: I declare a tie- you are both victors.

Alfyn: Ah, shucks. Well, if they ain’t servin’ no more, I guess we got no choice…

Therion: Exactly.

Olberic: Hahaha…ha…ha…

Cyrus: It appears Sir Olberic continues to be amused. Nevertheless, what do you gentlemen say to finding another tavern that’s still serving?

Therion: (In the end, none of us can hold a candle to this guy…)

 According to the barkeep, there was supposed to be another place willing to give a few wary travellers the time of the day, even after midnight. It wasn’t a long walk. So, for reasons only known to the gods, the party decided to follow Cyrus’ inane suggestion. And here some people still accused him of being the smart one.

Ignoring my glowering stare, everyone started walking. The fresh air giving everyone the false feeling of sobering up. Again. False. Cyrus talked even more than usual – about the history of taverns, as I figured. Alfyn tried to tell us all about the effects of alcohol on one’s body – the sentences sometimes started four times, and rarely ended. And Olberic, well, he seemed equally amused by both stories, chuckling during pauses and sometimes patting his neighbors backs – they stumbled forward and he excused himself every time.

I trotted after them, kicking stones. I didn’t look forward to the headache tomorrow – I knew it was coming - and helping Olberic home would not be an easy task. Here is to hope he wouldn’t lose consciousness.

But we did reach the tavern. Old building, someone who is sure to get an offending price for terrible ale behind the counter, the floor worn out and as creaky as the door hinges. Joy.

We still settled on a table, each with a glass in front of us – Cyrus took wine, the utter maniac – and listened to Olberic talk about his youth in the army and how he was constantly surrounded by other men, he likes having that again. Alfyn almost hit the table when he got a hand slammed on his back this time. The boy contered with his own adventures with Zeph, how they I watched them drain their glasses and listened and nodded sometimes, taking in the information – a force of habit, really.

I was glad I sat on the other side of the table, though. The safer choice for my back and my rattled brain, really. My own ale got drained only in fractions.

“… and you’re still a maniac.” I said, glancing at the wine glass in Cyrus’ hand.

“Ah, but I must protest. It is the finer choice of drink, sun filled grapes filled in a glass, distilled to a great aroma and better taste. Perfect to quench your thirst, especially while studying.” He said this with a perfectly earnest expression.

I stared at his cravat, at the cloak held together by a brooch, the root-decorated vest, the belted together, poofy sleeves and said: “… that explains a lot”

To his credit, he only thought about it for a few seconds. Then: “I’ll have you know it did not inhibit my deduction or reasonable thinking in any way whatsoever. It is a very common way to preserve water. Alfyn can surely tell you all about its disinfectant properties, isn’t that right, Alfy-“

There was a thud.

Alfyn had hit the table. Or at least his arm had. His head rested against Olberic’s arm. Snoozing.

“Oh, not again…” I sighed and stood… at least this time he would get back home.

“What do you mean, again? I wasn’t aware this happened before?” Cyrus asked, because of course he does.

“You don’t have to know everything, professor… you take Olberic. He’s useless, too” Evidenced by his giggling. He giggled and pat Alfyn’s head. It wasn’t a shining moment for anyone.

With an arm around my neck – Cyrus had to distract the big man so I could grab it – I paid the barkeep before he could get nasty on top of old. And then we started our trek home.

Alfyn told me I’m his bestest best friend in slurred words and bad breath while trying to choke me to death. And Cyrus – the bastard – got carried by Olberic. Who was wholly amused by the endeavour. There was some distress on the scholar’s side when all his words did not keep the big man from running against a wall, but at least I could join into the constant giggling that way. If only for a moment. Because Alfyn laughed, too. Carrying him did not get easier.

But we moved onwards. And somehow reached the Inn.

The girls told us we smelled had to get our own room. Ophelia should not be subjected to this. Primrose was a filthy traitor this moment. And she should be ashamed.

This truly, truly was not my day. I leaned my head against the door to have a moment of rest.

Cyrus still talked. Olberic still giggled. Alfyn still slurred. And I was still done with eberything. Great.

It was late. The innkeeper already asleep. I was frustrated. The lock of the next door was picked before I could even think about it.

There were six beds in the room. At least something went right. I put Alfyn in the one closest to the door, grabbed a water skin and went outside. Maybe taverns were just too work-related by now. Not much fun anymore. Especially in groups.

Get some water in, a bit more fresh air without weird breath and extra weight and I’ll be good. So I took a few deep breaths, standing in the silent street. Felt a little more normal that way. Finally alone again.

No one to take my mind off the next target. By getting overly excited about it. Or telling me it was of historical importance. Or how it would look good in her hair. Or taking it away to go and sell it for some medicine a kid needed.

They all were against stealing, too. But let me do it all the same. Even agreed to rob the house with me. Weird, stubborn bunch of people. Didn’t know an ambush from an opportunity.

…

I hadn’t put a bucket next to Alfyn’s bed. Last time had been ugly for both of us and-

The door to the inn opened.

“You left rather fast, Therion! Our compatriots needed care before they could rest! Is something the matter?”

Cyrus. Slightly rumpled, straightening his cloak when he came out the door.

“...” I took my hand off the dagger at my side. “… needed some peace.”

“Ah, well met, the taverns were rather stuffy, were they not?”

I looked to the side – he apparently did not catch my drift.

“Anyway, a diluted wine preserves the drinkability of water, it is completely normal and perfectly acceptable choice of drink” He said, nodding resolutely.

“… are you seriously starting this again? Now?” I was not sure if I was amused or annoyed.

“You seemed to think I can not properly study with a diluted drink of whine, but I assure you it has no effect on my judgement or mental capabilities whatsoever!”

“… like right now?” Because he could have judged to leave me alone, but instead, he came here. Which contradicts everything I ever told him, really.

“Right now, we all have imbibed more than that. A lot more” He even looked a little proud of it.

“But it explains your tolerance. Must have ‘hydrated’ a lot” I really wondered why it was so fun to rile him up. Maybe because it was so easy. Easier than usual right now, too.

“I did not *drink* while studying. The alcohol is a mere preservation! We can not drink bad water! Diseases happen from that, we had enough examples on our journeys!” Really, it was too easy.

“Mmmmhmh, this preservation might have made me less allergic to academia, too, I suppose”

“I must protest this wrong assumption, truly, you can’t-“

I interrupted him: “I came out here for some quiet, can’t you just leave it?”

“I didn’t mean to say you are unfit for academia. My recommendation still stands. Any and all steps to enter the field would be very welcome, I should not have formulated it this way. I apologise.” He even looked guilty. How did I ever deal with this man.

“If you aren’t going to shut up, I’m going to make you, I’m serious.” I was, too. He was in melee range, after all.

But he smiled. Brightly. Right next to me. And continued with: “This is an idle threat! You have shown great involvement in all our well-being. You are a good friend. And you give Alfyn more work than he already has now, would y-MH!“

I kissed him. Grabbed his stupid cravat and pulled him down and kissed him. The silence made me take a relieved breath. He smelled of burned fabric and cold winter nights and of broken revenants. I kind of wanted to pull him closer.

But I didn’t. I let go. And looked into a very confused, lightly frowning face. He was silent. Thank the gods.

I patted his shoulder: “Told you”

And walked back in, there was a bed waiting for me. I could rest easy with the knowledge that Cyrus actually put a bucket next to every bed. He was a good guy after all.

[anchoredtether]

Title: Bandages

Author/Artist: AnchoredTether

Rating: Explicit [graphic depictions of violence, major character death, dark themes, discussion of suicide, graphic/disturbing imagery]

Series: Vengeful Retribution

Chapter: 4/?

Spoiler-free Summary:  Rokurou thought nothing had changed until he felt something he could only describe as innately human. Velvet swore she felt a warmth, a luxury she was certain she would never feel again after her humanity died. It seemed even daemons could change.

CHAPTER 04 --- BANDAGES

"Why are you so proud of your clan name if you hate your family so?" The thought was at the back of Velvet's mind as she observed how he said the name Rangetsu despite all the negative glimpses she understood about the samurai's family. "I never said I hated them." Rokurou protested. "And besides, wouldn't you be a little bit proud of your last name if you belonged to the world's most renown line of swordsmen?" He gave her a devilish grin. Velvet growled. "I- well… I guess." She shook her head. "But you want to kill your own brother. And he killed your mother. I'm not…I'm not judging, but that's not exactly what a happy loving family looks like. If you don't hate them, then…what is it…you feel towards them?" Rokurou let out a quiet exhale. He wanted to retort that she was asking an emotionally dead daemon about how he felt concerning his relatively emotionless family. "It's…hard to explain to someone who doesn't come from my culture. It's not so much a family, like what you know and have grown up in, as it is a clan. We're not brothers and sisters or sons and daughters - we're comrades. Like soldiers in a battalion, or wolves in a pack. Blood relation doesn't necessarily mean anything." "If you're supposed to be like comrades, why are you killing each other?" "It's just part of our training. Part of being a samurai. We fight all the time. But if one of us ends up killing another while training…" He shrugged his shoulders as if they were talking about something far more trivial. "Then the one who's dead simply wasn't strong enough. That's just how it is. The strong survive and become stronger while the weak perish and die." "That's…terrible." Her voice sounded dead even though she felt horrified inside. He shrugged again. "Not terrible, just….different." "No, it's terrible." Her tone was almost angry now. "Have you never known what it's like to be loved?" She looked as if she were surprised she asked the question, and quickly added, "Or what it's like for someone to even give a damn if you live or die?" He blinked a few times, taken aback by her question. "Attachment and sentiment are weaknesses that will only slow you down in battle. Mercenaries can't afford love. That's just the way it is." "Well I'm going to do what I can to change it!" She said furiously, her golden hues passionate in their fervor. "I care if you die, Rokurou! You're not just an ally to me, or a comrade, or a means to an end. And I'm certainly not tolerating you just because you're repaying your stupid debt!!" She shook her head at the ridiculousness of his promise. "I don't want you to die because you're my friend, Rokurou! And you better remember it!" She playfully, half not-so-playfully punched his shoulder to make sure her point came across to him. He threw his head back in a spirited laugh. "If you say so!" In a more serious tone, he looked down at her with a warmth in his amber hue. "Don't worry about me, Velvet. I'm sure you had a wonderful upbringing with your sister and brother full of love and selflessness, and you simply wish I could have had the same. I don't yearn for something like that because I've never known any better. All I've ever wanted was to be the best swordsman I could be. That's all that has really mattered to me. Everything else is secondary." Velvet lowered her eyes with a thoughtful hum in acknowledgment. There was still plenty about Rokurou she didn't understand and his daemonicy certainly didn't help her get any closer in most cases. Most of the time he couldn't remember his human life, and if he did, he couldn't remember any emotions tied to those memories. When she thought about it, Rokurou seemed lively and full of spirit on the surface, with his care-free attitude and bizarre enthusiasm. But when she saw him more clearly, broke past his comedic facade, Rokurou was empty… as if the curse of his daemonblight tore his very soul from his body. When she thought about it, she would always take her lack of taste and sense over his lack of feeling. Because at the end of the day, Velvet hated the pain she felt…but it made her feel alive. It reminded her that she was more than a monster, that she had to keep on fighting. The pain gave her a reason to live. ][ --- ][ "Uuuhhhhgggghhhwwwwuh." "Looks like the daemon finally rose from its grave." Morgrim said dully. "There ain't no grave can hold my body down." Rokurou said groggily as he made his way to sit across from the malak at the table. "Where the hell are we, anyway?" "We're still in Mierchio-" "Obviously." The cold might not have bothered him as much anymore, but it still cut like daggers into his open wounds. Morgrim looked annoyed at his interruption. "-in an abandoned house on the edge of town. Well, by abandoned I mean of humans. Nathaniel is a malak that lives here and has so kindly allowed us to hole up here by my persuasion of sharing a special curry recipe with him." "Wouldn't happen to be a java curry recipe?" He could smell it wafting - it was the only reason he hauled himself out of bed, which he was already starting to regret. If only if one of his friends who could heal were here - Laphicet, Eizen, Eleanor, or even Magilou - he never thought he'd desperately wish the witch were by his side. This Nathaniel character knew an amateur healing art, but it wasn't anything like what he became accustomed to over the past year. "You have a good nose." Morgrim said. "I take it you can still taste your food?" Rokurou nodded. "Is that a common side effect of daemonblight?" "It would appear so." Rokurou quickly learned he couldn't use his right arm for the time being - he had to eat his curry using his left. Luckily for the swordsman, he was pretty ambidextrous, so it wasn't an issue. Realizing the extent of his injuries was troublesome, however. "How far did your markings spread before you nearly died from that code red daemon?" Morgrim stirred him from his thoughts. Rokurou was silent a moment as he looked at the black burns that marred his body, barely showing between strands of bloodied bandages. "Down to my elbow, and some ways down my shoulder blade. I can't exactly look back there all that well." "It seems your wounds have stimulated the spread of your daemonblight…as if it's trying to heal you." "I noticed that. Well, more like I felt it." It was hard to describe, but he could feel the dark markings crawling down his torso, creeping into the claw marks like a poison infecting his bloodstream. It didn't cause any pain, but he could tell it was turning him less and less human. "Judging the damage done, how long would you reckon it'll take me to heal?" He tilted his head at the cat - no, nekomata - across from him. "I haven't seen anyone survive with wounds that bad." Nathaniel picked up, speaking from the kitchen. "I'd wager it'll take at least a while. I'm honestly surprised you could even get out of bed after only four days." Rokurou nearly choked on his curry. "Four days?? Then how long have I been here?" "This would be day six since you went out into the icefield." Morgrim answered. "Damn." He couldn't remember the last time he had an injury this bad… well, except the day I died. That wasn't exactly an encouraging comparison. "So safe to say at least another week or so?" His tone was utterly defeated. "I would advise longer, but knowing you, you'll probably leave before a week has passed." Rokurou growled. "Stop acting like you know me." "I knew your brother." "That doesn't mean anything." Morgrim gave a soft smirk, and it only made Rokurou more infuriated. ][ --- ][ "I've been wanting to thank you." Velvet said unexpectedly one night on the Van Eltia. She was perched along the railing, looking out at the ocean waves crested in moonlight, while Rokurou walked over to rest his arms against the wood and joined her in watching. He found he couldn't sleep and it seemed Velvet was the same. "For what?" He asked. "For keeping what I am a secret. You didn't have to." "What, for not telling everyone that you were actually a therion instead of just a daemon?" The rest of the crew just recently learned that Velvet was the therion for the earthpulse point at Titania, even though Rokurou knew from the beginning. "What difference would it have made?" He turned his head to look at her. "You only told everyone you were a daemon, so I figured you didn't want anyone to know the therion bit." He shrugged. "I didn't really understand what a therion was anyway." "Neither did I." She looked at him, her gaze serious yet kind. "But as we all journeyed together and learned the truth about therions and Innominat…I'm actually kind of surprised you didn't make some kind of connection and think aloud some kind of epiphany with all of this, revealing what I was." Rokurou gave her a sly grin. "You're giving me more credit than I'm worth. I'm no genius, Velvet." "You're cleverer than you think." She sighed, a sound of slight frustration. She made a half-hearted gesture with her hand. "Will you just accept my gratitude already?" He laughed. "Alright alright! You're welcome. It wasn't that big of a deal though." "It was to me." Her voice was soft, her eyes lost as she stared at her arms folded on top of her knees bent close to her chest. "You also never told anyone about what lies beneath my bandages." "Actually I told Magilou." Velvet perked up a bit, her eyes wide. "You-" "Joking." Rokurou gave a playful tilt of his head before letting out a snicker. "No, I never told anyone. It's your business. You've never told anyone how I got my markings, so technically we're even. I'm simply paying back the favor." "Why does everything have to come back to repaying debts with you?" "Every act of kindness in life is a favor or a debt. There's no in-between." "That's extremely black and white for someone who lives in shades of grey." Rokurou narrowed his eyes at her, although it wasn't threatening albeit more on the lines of curious. "It certainly is." Velvet could see the crimson markings on his face more easily in the darkness of night as they faintly glowed with an ominous light. His daemonic eye shone like a nocturnal predator, and she caught glimpses of its gaze as the wind shifted his bangs. Velvet frowned slightly, her brows furrowing in thought. "There's a lot we've entrusted with each other…" She mused, "And have yet to tell anyone else." Rokurou's gaze softened. He stopped leaning against the rails only to hoist himself to sit on them like a bench, facing out towards the ocean. Velvet was sitting along the rails horizontally so she faced his side. The conversation felt more personal now, as if they were both on the same level. "I vowed to aid you in your quest for revenge the day we met. It was only natural that I come to trust you in time." "But it wasn't for me." Her voice sounded surprised. "I showed you my weakness, my vulnerability…when I barely knew you." She scoffed the words as if reprimanding herself, her lips set in a frustrated scowl. "You were only a means to an end. I wasn't supposed to trust anyone if I was to go through with this. I shouldn't have let you follow me to begin with. And yet -" Rokurou raised a brow at her, patiently waiting for her to wring out her frustrations. She sighed. "I always told myself that I didn't need anyone. That I could avenge Laphi all on my own. That it had to be done by myself, and myself alone. Even if I died in the process, that was fine. So long as he was avenged, and then that way no one else had to suffer. No one else would suffer because of Artorious, and no one would have to suffer because of me. That's how I wanted things to happen." "But that's not how things happened." He offered her a downturned smirk. "It's a good thing you've entrusted an emotionless daemon then - you don't have to worry about me suffering because of you." He turned his head to look out at the ocean, but Velvet kept her gaze set upon him, her words catching in her throat. "I'm sorry." Was all she managed to say. "For what?" He asked again, this time keeping his eyes on the water. "I'm sorry you can't feel." She almost sounded angry. "There are times when I hate the pain in my heart and I wish I didn't have to feel anything, and I envy you and I wish that I could be void of emotions - that everything would be so much easier - but then I remember that those feelings are what remind me that I'm alive, that I'm more than a monster, that I have a purpose and I desire to fulfil it." She bit her lower lip to steady herself and keep her voice from wavering. She could feel tears threatening to make an appearance as her heart ached for the man sitting beside her. "You don't have that." Before Velvet could notice, Rokurou's hand was placed on top of her bandaged one. He still looked out at the sea with a thousand yard stare, but the grip of his hand expressed that he was paying close attention. "We all fight different battles, Velvet." His voice sounded far off, as if it weren't Rokurou speaking anymore. He wasn't his usual sarcastic or cynical self, and his voice had a dark streak of sobriety. "There are plenty of things which I lack. But there are plenty of things I do have…and that makes all the difference. I think the reason why I… why I admire your resolve and strength and passion… is because a part of me recognizes that I was once like you." He turned to look at her now, his amber and crimson hues resolute. "You may have lost your arm, but you have the bandages to cover it up. You may have lost your brother, but you've regained your sisterly love with Laphicet. And you may feel you have lost what makes you human, Velvet… but feeling sorrow for what I am? Proves you haven't." He angled his torso to better face her, taking both of his hands to hold her bandaged hand and arm. "You do well to hide it from the rest of the world, but I know what truly lies beneath these bandages." He held her arm so delicately, as if it would crumble beneath his grasp if he weren't too careful. "You're not a monster, Velvet. You didn't succumb to malevolence. You're a victim of circumstance. You're a veteran of suffering. I brought my curse upon myself. Yours was forced upon you. There is no need to feel sorry for me." She was quiet a moment, desperately wanting to retreat into herself, but at the same time she couldn't pull her arm away from him. She looked up to match his gaze. "You say you brought your curse upon yourself, and that your own malevolence is what turned you into a daemon…but you've also told me that you died…that you…" She wasn't sure how to phrase the words on how he lost half of his head the same way she lost her left arm. "…that the malevolence brought you back. It doesn't add up, Rokurou. Dying wasn't your fault just as much as losing my arm wasn't. Unless you…" Velvet bit her lip, grateful that she stopped voicing that train of thought - that Rokurou died on purpose. He briefly mentioned suicide once so she had no idea the extent of how it affected him. "No, it doesn't really add up." He explained, his voice bordering close to something sad. He was silent, looking down at Velvet's bandages, his thumb idly gracing over the back of her hand. "I died fighting Shigure. I mean, ultimately, he wasn't the cause of my death, but he might as well have been. We were fighting at Mount Killaraus when a blow from Shigure pushed me over the edge of a cliff. If the fall didn't kill me, the fact that half my head deteriorated from lava definitely did the job." At this point Rokurou noticed that Velvet had her right hand covering her mouth, her golden eyes narrowed in a mix of disgust and horror. He gave her an apologetic look, but before he could speak Velvet's voice came through softly muffled. "I'm fine. I'm just…trying to absorb this." He offered her an encouraging smile, and moved both of his hands to hold both of hers. He looked down at their joined hands and part of him was surprised Velvet hadn't slapped him or something. "It was still my malevolence that brought me back to life." He said softly. "In the act of dying, I was filled with hatred towards my brother. That hatred and desire to kill him was so strong it brought me back from the dead." He laughed. "So to answer your question, no, dying wasn't my fault. But coming back from the dead with the sole purpose of killing my brother, definitely was." "Maybe that's why you can't remember or feel anything." Velvet said suddenly. Her hands, which were acting like dead fish until now, gripped Rokurou's as if he were her lifeline. Her eyes shone in the moonlight with the light of an epiphany. "You lost half your brain. It's no wonder you can't remember anything from your human life. It's no wonder you can't feel emotion. You can't recall emotions, you can't remember what it meant to feel alive when you were human because half those memories are gone…" "Hmm…perhaps you're right. I never thought about it like that. It makes sense." "…There's probably no way to fix it either. Just like how I will never get my arm back." "Like I said, you have the bandages to cover it up." Rokurou tightened his grasp on her hands in return. "You haven't lost everything, Velvet. And I don't think any loss could ever truly extinguish your fire." Her head tilted slightly, as if she were trying to examine the samurai from a different angle. "And you may have lost your memory and your emotions…but you still haven't lost this." She released her right hand to place it over Rokurou's chest, directly where his heart lie. She could feel it beating, alive and strong. "You might not be able to feel things like shame and sympathy and nostalgia and envy and love…but you have such heart Rokurou, whether you've come to realize it or not." "…I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. That I can remember, that is." He was incredibly still, so still that Velvet thought he might be holding his breath. His eyes kept shifting ever so slightly, and it wasn't until he drew in closer that she realized where his gaze diverted in distraction. Without thinking Velvet pushed him away with the hand that was still on his chest… …and Rokurou fell overboard. "…SHIT." She lunged in after him, plunging into the turbulent ocean waves. She couldn't feel the temperature of the sea, but she could only imagine it must have been freezing. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUMP IN AFTER ME??" Rokurou yelled as he swam against the current towards the Van Eltia. Velvet realized he was mad at her for jumping in after him, not for shoving him off in the first place, and then understood how little she thought this through. "I - I DON'T KNOW, YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY SWIM AGAINST THESE WAVES!" She yelled back, now swimming alongside him towards the ship. "THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST THROW A ROPE TOWARDS ME OR SOMETHING?" "I DON'T KNOW I WASN'T THINKING!!" How could she be so rash? Why didn't she think to grab a lifeline instead of just jumping overboard? The samurai leaning in to kiss her really knocked her off her boat…literally. "WELL IT'D BE EASIER FOR YOU TO SWIM IF YOU DITCHED THE SWORD!" "I AM NEVER ABANDONING MY SWORD!!!!" Velvet growled in frustration. Why was he wearing it in the middle of the night anyway? Did he sleep with the damn thing? "I HAVE AN IDEA." "ENTERTAIN ME." Although she had never swam with her therion arm activated, Velvet figured she could fight against the rolling waves more effectively. The massive crimson claw engulfed her arm, and she said sternly, "GRAB ME." Rokurou raised a brow. "THAT'S ENTERTAINING." "SHUT UP." Even though Velvet should have been mad at him, the anger in her voice was only halfhearted and she was too preoccupied with fighting the ocean to properly snap at him. If the circumstances were different she would have probably struggled with hiding a snicker because, despite their situation, she found his response incredibly inappropriate and simultaneously hilarious. Contrary to his words, Rokurou wrapped his arms around her waist in an innocent manner, and Velvet clutched his torso with her right as her therion arm dug into the water, drawing them closer to the Van Eltia. When they made good distance, nearly reaching the back of the ship, Benwick appeared at the stern and had a line tossed to them. A few crew members, including Eizen, were gathered ready to pull Velvet and Rokurou up to safety. She insisted that he go up first since she could keep up with the strengthening tide, and once Rokurou was pulled up she grabbed the rope and ascended out of the water. Her left arm vaporized in black and crimson smoke to reveal her almost-human arm, and with a gasp Velvet saw her bandages were all but gone, revealing the rawness that she kept hidden from everyone. In a panic, she quickly wrapped the edge of her cape around her arm before she reached the top, and withdrew from the help the pirates offered as she stumbled off to the side, careful to keep her arm facing away from everyone. "What the hell happened, exactly." Eizen did not sound amused, his piercing stare appearing more ominous than usual. Velvet's lips parted to say something, she wasn't sure what, but Rokurou beat her to it. "Sorry, I was- well, am - increeeeedibly wasted, and somehow I tripped or somethin and…" He made a gesture with his hand, complete with a plummeting sound. "I guess I pulled Velvet in with me."

Her brows were furrowed incredulously as he explained. With his hair wet and slicked back, and the strange explanation he gave, almost made him appear like a completely different person. The swordsman wasn't a scant drunk. She knew him well enough to tell, and she would have been able to smell the sake when his lips were dangerously close to hers… She shook her head, regaining her serious composure. "It was a blur." She said with a dismissive gesture of her hand. "Sorry to bother everyone." Not only did Rokurou's lie cover up the fact that it was Velvet's fault for pushing him in, but also hid her blunder of jumping in after him with no means of saving him. "Either way, you two need to get thawed." Eizen said. "I'll go get you two dry clothes." Benwick cut in and dashed off. "Even if you can't feel it Velvet," The malak continued, "I can tell you're hitting the first stages of hypothermia." Suddenly Rokurou was flanked along Velvet's right side, grabbing her bicep still hidden beneath her cloak. "Don't worry, we'll go into the kitchen and get a fire going." "You're wasted, Rokurou. I don't think you should be lighting fires." "Aeh, the salt water sobered me up. We'll be fine." He turned to give Eizen a reassuring look. "It's my fault we got in this mess, so it's only proper I make the amends." The malak sighed. "At least let me start the fire. I don't want you accidentally setting the ship ablaze." ][ --- ][ ][ music ][ When they reached the kitchen, Eizen got working on setting logs into the hearth and starting the arte. Rokurou stated, a little too loudly, "Velvet, can you hold my sword for a sec?" "Whhhat?" Her eyes were wide. She was wondering if he slept with the damn sword only moments ago, and now he was wanting her to hold it?? She clumsily grasped the massive sword with her right hand, and he was making a weird face at her, his eyes doing a strange twitching - then she realized he was trying to wink at her. Clearly Rokurou lacked in the winking skill. Having half his face daemonized only made his attempt look even weirder. "OH." Was all she could say. With her cape still wrapped around her arm, she held the sword horizontally with both arms in a way so that it effectively covered her left arm without it being too suspicious. Rokurou unsuspectingly started to peel off his upper layers, which would have been impossible without taking off the sword first anyway. He was covering for her in more ways than she could possibly repay him. Benwick came in with a dry change of clothes for the both of them, and insisted he worked on making a hot soup to help warm them up. Neither of them could object since they reached the stage where they stopped shivering. "Be glad you can't feel it." Rokurou sighed. "I guess in this instance it's a blessing." Velvet mused. There was a silent agreement between the four of them when Rokurou and Velvet took the dry clothes and went off into separate corners to change, that Benwick and Eizen turned their backs while making the soup. While Velvet was clumsily pulling off her pants and leggings, she heard a soft whistle from Rokurou and a moment later a roll of medical bandages landed near her feet. She quickly snatched the roll as if it were gold, and hastily started wrapping up the abomination that was her left arm. She kept it wrapped to hide it from the world, but in truth it was mostly because she couldn't stand to look at it. Once her arm was properly covered, she made a grunt of annoyance. She spoke just loud enough for him to hear. "I hope you weren't looking to throw that." Granted, her hair was long enough that he wouldn't have even seen her exposed rear, but the thought of him looking at her nude made her flustered. "I'm a swordsman, Vel." He said in an equally quiet tone. "Even when I'm drunk I can hit targets without looking. Usually." She was slightly surprised that she was smiling. She mused on the fact that he just called her 'Vel' - she wasn't sure how she felt about the nickname and what it was supposed to mean. Once they were both clothed, they sat as close to the fire as they possibly could, and to each other. Velvet thought it was strange to see Rokurou wearing normal clothes, but he probably thought the same of her. They sat with their backs facing the fire, both wrapped up in thick blankets, and with the yaksha on her left side, she could only see the blackened side of his face. It was strange to think she came to know him so well that she could now read the emotion in his scarlet eye. "I've never been this cold before." His words were slurred and slower than usual. "If we wanted to warm up faster," Her words came out slowly as well, as if she were in a daze. "It would be better for us to get naked and heat up each other." Rokurou turned his head to fully look at her, his face scrunched up as if he were thinking too hard. "Joking." Velvet jabbed, although the word came out dully. "That only works if one of you doesn't have hypothermia." Eizen broke in. "I'm certainly not going to volunteer." "I was joking, Eizen." She waved her hand at him drunkenly. "I don't think we have it that bad." He let out an amused laugh. "If you say so. The soup is almost ready." ][ --- ][ After they ate a serving of soup (several for Rokurou) and their hair was mostly dry, the two of them were left in the kitchen as Benwick and Eizen returned to bed. Velvet was leaning into Rokurou's chest, his arm wrapped around her, and somehow her right hand found way to join with his left. Normally Velvet would have started reprimanding herself for getting into this kind of position with a man, but she tried to justify it with the hypothermia. It was just the hypothermia speaking, the instinct for want of warmth. "I'm sorry." "For what?" Her voice was tired, and sounded more like a statement than a question. "For trying to kiss you." A silence stretched thickly between them. The attempt to kiss her nearly evaded her mind - she was too preoccupied with surviving. With a sudden stab in her heart, Velvet wondered how long her life was preoccupied with merely surviving and fulfilling her brother's vengeance. When did Rokurou first fall in love with her? How long had she been oblivious? She knew he wouldn't have pulled a stunt like tonight on a whim. She said so herself, Rokurou had heart. He wouldn't have tried to kiss her unless it had meaning. When she saw Stormhowl glinting in the corner from reflected firelight, her eyes watered. Never leave your lifeline in the hands of another. Although Rokurou technically still had his daggers on his person, he treated that sword as if it held his very soul in its sheath. He gave it up to Velvet in order to help her hide the aberrations of her arm. She didn't realize how out of character that was for him until the hypothermia had faded. "Thank you." She said softly, her voice wavering. "For trying to kiss you?" Velvet elbowed his ribs. "No. For…for covering me." In more ways than one. "It's nothing." He said simply. "It's not nothing, it's-" "No, it's nothing." Rokurou said decisively. "Supporting you is no burden to me. In fact, I wish there was more I could do. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay that debt I owe you." "It all comes down to that debt, it would seem." "It's become more than just a debt, Vel." There was that nickname again. She angled her head to look up at him, her heart skipping a beat when she looked into his crimson and amber eyes. When did it become more than just a debt? When exactly did Rokurou change from an indebted samurai to someone who desired to always serve and remain at her side? When was he no longer a mere companion but instead became an invaluable partner? She couldn't imagine facing Artorious without him. She couldn't even think about what she would do with her life after the fact, and imagining it without Rokurou somehow felt…meaningless. She drew up the courage as she straightened her back to properly look at him as she asked, "When…when did it become more than just a debt?" "…When you said you'd care if I die." Rokurou claimed he couldn't feel emotion like he used to, but Velvet could have sworn his eyes were filled with it.  While showing him her bandages when they were still strangers was a vulnerability to her, this was Rokurou's. She had never seen him so vulnerable before - didn't even know he could be. "My whole life I was a number. The sixth son. A hired mercenary. Simply the next swordsman who had survived. I've never had anyone care if I died. Hell…not even I cared if I died." His right arm which was wrapped around her moved to entwine with her left arm, until he laced his fingers with her bandages. "I don't know how you did it Velvet, and I commend you for achieving the impossible…" He exhaled slowly, his lips turning into a sad smile. "…You gave someone who wanted to die a reason to live." Velvet's gaze softened, her lips parting ever so slightly. She saw the pain in his eyes and heard the suffering in his voice, and couldn't help but feel that she was seeing him in a completely different light. She pulled herself close, watching the firelight dance dangerously in his eyes, and hesitating for only the briefest of moments, moved to press her lips against his. She felt the conviction of his reason, and Velvet was moved by the amount of meaning in his kiss. After so many years of darkness, neither of them had ever felt so alive.

[theriomorphicrp]

▸ kim seokjin (iago), C:02 — a 23 year old cypher with a raccoon therion.

▸ personality —

He’s always been personable. From greeting his classmates and teachers with a smile every day to being the radiant, galaxy eyed admiree of many, he’s been liked by pretty much everyone his whole life. Something about his genuine earnestness (and sweet face) helps many to lower their guards, and his uncanny ability to always know exactly what to say or do.

He’s always been accessible. Despite his popularity, he never let it get into his head (and how could he? Even with his empathic accuracy, he never seemed to really believe that he could be so well-liked. He was just trying to make other people’s days better). Somehow, even if you’ve never spoken to him before, if you come up to him and say a small “hi” with a burdened mind, he’s always available to help.

He’s always been compassionate. Being able to read other people’s minds only heightens that. If he can do something to alleviate their pain, he will. He has felt the pain of so many people that it becomes his own.

He feels. He feels his own pain, others’ pain, and it consumes him.

He’s oddly dorky. It’s a stark contrast to his angelic face and poetic words, but it still works in the way that fries dipped in a milkshake works.

His paranoia trails him like garbage stuck on the foot of the trash panda he is classified as. He does not know if he will be caught feeling, or if his work was satisfactory enough for him not to be offed. He does not know if his boss won’t simply decide one day that his services are no longer needed, and that his death would be more amusing. He walks, glancing over his shoulder. He is not good enough.

He’s learned to become manipulative. Whether it’s a necessary component in his mission or to survive, he can, and will, direct others’ actions through the sweet ambrosia of poisoned diction.

He must survive. He will survive. And he will bring his fellow cyphers with him towards freedom, no matter the personal cost.

personality precis ; → personable → accessible → compassionate → dorky → self-conscious / paranoid → manipulative

▸ history —

“You’re just out of university, correct?”

Seokjin nods, a graceful smile toying on his lips. “Yes,” he answers, placing a hand on a knee.

“Congratulations!” his interviewer exclaims, all too excitedly.

“Thank you.” His cheeks redden in embarrassment. “I hope to spend even more time in my work now.”

She nods. “You’re a volunteer… veterinary EMT, in addition to being a model, correct?” she asks, leaning forward.

His eyes stay completely in contact with hers, ignoring how she had obviously worn a push-up bra and revealing shirt, smile unwavering and not at all as genuine as it seems. “Yes,” he answers again. His eyes light up when he explains, “now I should not only be able to model in more projects, but also go on more missions.”

“Wow!” she cheers, leaning back in her seat. “That’s so amazing of you. We don’t see many people like that nowadays. I’ve heard that your schedule is rather volatile sometimes. Is it because of the EMT work?”

“That and the school work I had to do." And the other missions.

"I see.” She taps her pen against her purpley-red lips in a faux-thoughtful manner. “Well. How about a few questions about your experience there? And your childhood? Despite being a prominent model for the nearly four years since you debuted, you’re still much of an enigma.”

Seokjin laughs. “I wouldn’t call myself an enigma, per se." False. "I had a normal childhood," true-ish, "with my older brother," true, "and a small group of friends.” (Also true.)

“No gaggle of admirers?” Her tone is intrigued and almost skeptical.

He laughs again. “Oh, no, not that I’ve noticed anyways.” (True.) “After that, I just…went to university.” (True.) “I majored in Mandarin and Chinese studies, with a few English classes, and was on a pre-med track.” (True.)

“You’re quite intelligent.”

He shrugs bashfully. “I hope so.”

“How did you get into modeling?”

“I saw an ad on the bulletin looking for a model, and I thought I’d give it a go, to help pay for expenses. I didn’t think I’d actually make it.” (True.)

“You’re amazingly humble,” his interviewer says.

“Not at all,” he replies. “Anyways, I got into the EMT work from another flyer on the bulletin, and it just went from there.” (True.) “That’s pretty much it.”

False.

Because university was also the time his abilities were found out. One careless slip, or extremely insightful professor, and suddenly someone knew that he could read their mind. Even when he was young, he’d never been found out by another other than his brother.

He was shuffled to a facility he’d never seen before, forced into a life of brutal training and sudden rankings and inhumane missions. Mysterious cuts and bruises littered his skin then, not only a physical pain, but one to explain to his makeup artists as well.

His manager was pleased with how his body was filling out with muscle, and when questioned, Seokjin replied with a simple “I thought I should hit the gym.” Telling his manager the real reason would’ve been literal and figurative suicide, and a lifetime of paranoia had taught him too much for even a glimmer of hope.

“—in-ssi? Seokjin-ssi?”

“Yes?” he asks, startled back into the present, before continuing cooly, but with mortification. “Oh, I’m sorry, I was just thinking about a puppy we rescued a few days ago and I guess I zoned out.”

False.

“How cute,” the interviewer coos. “Is the puppy doing well?”

“As far as I know,” Seokjin says. “He should be doing fine.”

“That’s wonderful. Now. Many fans are calling for you to try out a role in a drama. What do you think of this?”

“Me, act?” He points to himself. “I could never. Even if my schedule allowed, I’m just not talented enough. Short bursts for modeling, yes, but not actual film. That’s just beyond me.”

“Give yourself some credit, Seokjin-ssi!” the interviewer exclaims. “I’m sure you’d be marvelous!”

Oh, you have no idea.

[tmxseokjin-blog]

basics ━

BIRTH NAME ; kim seokjin ALIAS ; iago

DATE OF BIRTH ; december 4, 1993

PLACE OF BIRTH ; seoul, south korea AGE ; 23 international, 25 korean

RANK ; c THERION ; raccoon

OCCUPATION ; model, volunteer veterinary EMT

LANGUAGES ; korean, mandarin (fluent); english (conversational)

SEXUALITY ; panromantic, leaning hetero; sexually unknown

appearance ━

HEIGHT ; 183 cm // 6'0″ WEIGHT ; 71.5 kg // 158 lbs BUILD ; muscular mesomorph

TATTOO LOCATION ; left shoulder

HAIR ; dark brown EYES ; chocolate brown; round, almond; monolid; strong eyebrows

OTHER DEFINING FEATURES ; broad shoulders; narrow waist; long neck; full lips;

personality ━

He's always been personable. From greeting his classmates and teachers with a smile every day to being the radiant, galaxy eyed admiree of many, he's been liked by pretty much everyone his whole life. Something about his genuine earnestness (and sweet face) helps many to lower their guards, and his uncanny ability to always know exactly what to say or do.

He's always been accessible. Despite his popularity, he never let it get into his head (and how could he? Even with his empathic accuracy, he never seemed to really believe that he could be so well-liked. He was just trying to make other people's days better). Somehow, even if you've never spoken to him before, if you come up to him and say a small "hi" with a burdened mind, he's always available to help.

He's always been compassionate. Being able to read other people's minds only heightens that. If he can do something to alleviate their pain, he will. He has felt the pain of so many people that it becomes his own.

He feels. He feels his own pain, others' pain, and it consumes him.

He's oddly dorky. It's a stark contrast to his angelic face and poetic words, but it still works in the way that fries dipped in a milkshake works.

His paranoia trails him like garbage stuck on the foot of the trash panda he is classified as. He does not know if he will be caught feeling, or if his work was satisfactory enough for him not to be offed. He does not know if his boss won't simply decide one day that his services are no longer needed, and that his death would be more amusing. He walks, glancing over his shoulder. He is not good enough.

He's learned to become manipulative. Whether it's a necessary component in his mission or to survive, he can, and will, direct others' actions through the sweet ambrosia of poisoned diction.

He must survive. He will survive. And he will bring his fellow cyphers with him towards freedom, no matter the personal cost.

TRAITS ;

→ personable → accessible → compassionate → dorky → self-conscious / paranoid → manipulative

history —

"You're just out of university, correct?"

Seokjin nods, a graceful smile toying on his lips. "Yes," he answers, placing a hand on a knee.

"Congratulations!" his interviewer exclaims, all too excitedly.

"Thank you." His cheeks redden in embarrassment. "I hope to spend even more time in my work now."

She nods. "You're a volunteer... veterinary EMT, in addition to being a model, correct?" she asks, leaning forward.

His eyes stay completely in contact with hers, ignoring how she had obviously worn a push-up bra and revealing shirt, smile unwavering and not at all as genuine as it seems. "Yes," he answers again. His eyes light up when he explains, "now I should not only be able to model in more projects, but also go on more missions."

"Wow!" she cheers, leaning back in her seat. "That's so amazing of you. We don't see many people like that nowadays. I've heard that your schedule is rather volatile sometimes. Is it because of the EMT work?"

"That and the school work I had to do." And the other missions.

"I see." She taps her pen against her purpley-red lips in a faux-thoughtful manner. "Well. How about a few questions about your experience there? And your childhood? Despite being a prominent model for the nearly four years since you debuted, you're still much of an enigma."

Seokjin laughs. "I wouldn't call myself an enigma, per se." False. "I had a normal childhood," true-ish, "with my older brother," true, "and a small group of friends." (Also true.)

"No gaggle of admirers?" Her tone is intrigued and almost skeptical.

He laughs again. "Oh, no, not that I've noticed anyways." (True.) "After that, I just...went to university." (True.) "I majored in Mandarin and Chinese studies, with a few English classes, and was on a pre-med track." (True.)

"You're quite intelligent."

He shrugs bashfully. "I hope so."

"How did you get into modeling?"

"I saw an ad on the bulletin looking for a model, and I thought I'd give it a go, to help pay for expenses. I didn't think I'd actually make it." (True.)

"You're amazingly humble," his interviewer says.

"Not at all," he replies. "Anyways, I got into the EMT work from another flyer on the bulletin, and it just went from there." (True.) "That's pretty much it."

False.

Because university was also the time his abilities were found out. One careless slip, or extremely insightful professor, and suddenly someone knew that he could read their mind. Even when he was young, he'd never been found out by another other than his brother.

He was shuffled to a facility he'd never seen before, forced into a life of brutal training and sudden rankings and inhumane missions. Mysterious cuts and bruises littered his skin then, not only a physical pain, but one to explain to his makeup artists as well.

His manager was pleased with how his body was filling out with muscle, and when questioned, Seokjin replied with a simple "I thought I should hit the gym." Telling his manager the real reason would've been literal and figurative suicide, and a lifetime of paranoia had taught him too much for even a glimmer of hope.

"—in-ssi? Seokjin-ssi?"

"Yes?" he asks, startled back into the present, before continuing cooly, but with mortification. "Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking about a puppy we rescued a few days ago and I guess I zoned out."

False.

"How cute," the interviewer coos. "Is the puppy doing well?"

"As far as I know," Seokjin says. "He should be doing fine."

"That's wonderful. Now. Many fans are calling for you to try out a role in a drama. What do you think of this?"

"Me, act?" He points to himself. "I could never. Even if my schedule allowed, I'm just not talented enough. Short bursts for modeling, yes, but not actual film. That's just beyond me."

"Give yourself some credit, Seokjin-ssi!" the interviewer exclaims. "I'm sure you'd be marvelous!"

Oh, you have no idea.

WESTERN ZODIAC ; sagittarius CHINESE ZODIAC ; dog

HOGWARTS HOUSE ; ravenclaw ILVERMORNY HOUSE ; horned serpent PATRONUS ; sparrowhawk WAND ; rowan wood with a dragon heartstring core, 13" and a slightly yielding flexibility

MBTI ; ENFJ-T — the protagonist

PHOBIA(S) ; being caught, loved ones dying, giving into temptation, becoming ruthless DRINKING / SMOKING / DRUGS ; no / no / no

[dwestfieldblog]

THE HOLE OF THE LAW

Hello at exactly 3.33 in the morning...with 1 black coffee, five cigarettes...Coil and Jajouka. More ranting pseudo revelations from the back brain...

 Early April... Another birthday and failed suicide. Better luck next time, try harder. My thoughts will have the same effect, just slower and with greater pain. I could really enjoy life more if I were a masochist, but I aint. Have to make your own entertainment eh? 'When in doubt, choose life'. The mirror is the window through which?.........? comes. Fill in the blank...with the Void. All this negative optimism must be unhealthy but this poor boy finds wealth in a monochrome prism... Instinct: don't argue with it; it knows better than you - because it doesn't think, (a defence mechanism.)  I used to get monthly nose bleeds...like periods of unused ideas... flushing away after my pre minstrel tension. Now they are coming every second or third day. Ho Hum. (Cz- Uf) Nice to wake up swallowing my own blood, makes a change from someone else's.  A masculine star fire ritual....No reason for a lowering of personal standards eh?

 So, the usual first paragraph of fresh, shaved bollocks out of the way... Spring forward, advancing towards contact...rapid fire of the mind...delivering the damaged goods, always on time and on the off beats...arf. Christ, I NEED sleep...but...

 'We place no reliance on Virgin or pigeon, our method is science, our aim is religion'

 Do what thou Will shall be the Whole of the Law...fascinating (although not surprising) how many misinterpret this to mean 'do whatever you want'. Perhaps Hassan I Sabha's 'Everything is permissible' is to blame...but more likely is that too many of those with an interest in the occult have not been taught or learned how to read, feel, then think. Intellectuals can be just as stupid as idiots. But they can talk better. (Although I sometimes wear glasses, I am far closer to a fool than an intellectual. And not in the tarot sense.) 'Everything is permissible' was an instruction to his assassins that it was acceptable to eat meat, drink alcohol etc, etc in order to blend in with those who one was going to kill. That is one of the reasons they were so damn good in their work. Anyway, back to Mr Therion himself...Do what is your WILL. Your deepest, strongest, truest desire. Channelled, focused, directed, shot like an arrow of intention. NOT hey man/sister, anything goes, sex is great so lets get wired and f**k. (Although that can be beyond celestial, it is temporary and has no actual permanent benefit on the evolution of the soul. Which is why we are all here eh? Arf. Peacefully fighting the counter evolutionaries... Tantra imprints and rewires, but requires a little discipline. At least.) 'At the gates, against the skin'....

 Anyone who has such insanely strict religious parents (Plymouth Lay Brethren) as did A.C, is certain to rebel and 'identify' with 'The Great Beast', but he put a lifetime of genuine study into results and conclusions....Decades later...Hippies, Punks, Goths drinking fake blood following a very poor assortment of sects, cults and New Age fakery, just because such groups are seemingly less rigid and stand against the old guard. Substituting one Father/Mother fantasy for another does not move humanity much further on. The Finger to the newer groups of manipulators for their blatant usage of those who choose to be lambs.

 There is as much poison in the roots of scientology, mormonism, jehovah's witnesses and various consciousness expansion/'magick' groups as there is in the catholic church or any other extremist bunch. I swear I am not in a bad mood, just close to collapse these last two months in Nin Khursag's chambers of creation, Love and destruction and tired of 'rebels' who don't, just follow another dubious leader, however charismatically they talk about sex and freedom and wear black... or a magick crystal consecrated in moonlight. Ufff...Come ON people...

 'Nothing is true'. (HiS) The reality we have been taught to accept, has very little basis in fact, on any dimension. Our perceptions are a fraction. And as for 'God'...or  @God as I typed by accident... Now there's a cheerful idea, God tweeting. Just look around you and read with senses.

 (If you ever want to see real propaganda, just look at the calendar....)

 Sooner strangle an infant in its cradle than nurse an unfulfilled desire...

 So said William Blake, the infamous baby throttler...well, I have been trying to fill full all my nurses...but as usual, some strangling must be done when it comes to other infantile people who would get in the way of my laser focus on desire. Its a hard days rain that's gonna fall... Back to early morning notes on scraps of paper whose chaos is not random...

 'She tiptoes a tightrope above a chasm of total destruction, partly sexy and the other half, horror. Trying to find herself by losing her mind while I systematically delete all photographs where I smile. The work of a lifetime. Erased by the final love: It took but one cycle of the moon in a breathing darkness. Kindness touches most those who are helpless. Older and foolish. Stupid actually. A man lost on his journey to the other side of his brain. Got to laugh...Seemingly magnetically attracted to disaster, I cannot remove her from my heart, so will close the mind, cut away and compartmentalise, (not a long term healthy thing to do)....Served with madness as the obvious first response...a question of perception and how one reacts to confusion... (The cynic seeks to avoid the hypnosis of the heart)'. But..

 'My heart is becoming...focused...my intention getting stiffer, Great minds think alike baby but fools we seldom differ...the opiate of her is making me dizzy. I need a new distraction, so I'm keeping myself busy... writing lyrics for instrumentals...a twisted psychopath simultaneously gentle and rabid at the capture, utterly irrelevant and hypnotised by rapture...by the elemental nature and tripping on my own adrenal glands...It wasn't the drugs or the high school experiences, I've been weird forever and have the liver of a 23 year old.  In my fridge'.

 Saw a large girl in Prague last week with a T shirt that said 'I'm Special, Like a Unicorn'. She was eating a rainbow.

 Not much 'news' I have glimpsed (Praise Shakti) ...Trump and Merkel... surrounded globally by folk with open mouths, the majority stunned by human incompetence, the rest, his supporters, just with a little drool rolling down their face and a vacant expression. Ignore the porky blonde's early morning duck tweets. Still so happy I dropped the news...with all my heart, I recommend this. And I as recheck this...Trump has missiles fired at Syria and Russia warns of reaction. Ho Hum. Boys with toys. Assad, you used chemical weapons against your own people. They were not 'terrorists'. You WILL pay. Trump, you have been strongly advised to show a temporary fist to Putin's nose in order to make the USA think you are not a tool and an easily manipulated puppet. That's all. You could not care less if Assad suffocated innocents in their own blood and mucus.

 'As democracy is perfected, the office (of President) represents more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.'  

HL Mencken, 1920.

 Been on only three Demonstrations...against Capitalism in 1984, Fascist racism in 1990 (both in London) and Communism in 1999 outside the Chinese embassy in Prague. Will have solved nothing for people's pain but it showed me an example of some of the idiots who protest just for the sake of having a ruck/a party/wanking their middle class ego. Nice balance of 'isms'. Crass were a good education though:-) 'Why is it, they ask, that you don't write love songs?...Our love of life is total, everything we do is an expression of that – EVERYTHING WE WRITE IS A LOVE SONG!'    Yes Sir, I Will (Crass)

 'There's nothing that you offer but the dream of last year's hero...

THE TRUTH OF 'REVOLUTION', BROTHER; IS YEAR ZERO.'

 Hope the uninitiated get the reference to Pol Pot and Cambodia...

 My previous blog was posted just before the London home-grown terrorist car drive took place.. Does the fundamentalist perception of Allah (blessings be upon him etc) really allow them to 'accidently' kill even their own kind when they drive on pavements, explode on streets, in cafés, gun down random swathes of people in shopping centres and fly planes into towers, regardless of what branch of the Moslem faith they are? Really? The guilt is transferred to the infidel and the murder of their brothers is okay because they will understand in paradise. Paradaize.  Say it again, internally in deep tranquillity and screaming outside,  ALL THESE RELIGIONS AND FAKE SECTS/CULTS ARE HOLDING US BACK.

 Evolution will roll on to an infinite event horizon (or something, arf) but for those of us here with a finite lifespan, it is really REALLY hard not to lose patience with all these soul raping morons. Some of the killers are brainwashed/heart erased fools, some of them just LIKE it. ALL of the ones in charge of the flocks/herds have daily orgasms on the dark sides at the glorious powers of their control. There, is the Evil.

 Limitless energy.... to be used this way... or or that. IT is neutral. But Evolution IS the purpose, reason, meaning and direction. Trust the exhausted visionary. ARF.

 Feel like dancing...slow motion ballet by candlelight at 4.30am, quiet.....I miss 'illegal' drugs but not sure they are needed any more. Know what I ketamine?

 'My perception of beauty is everywhere. SHE. IS. Everything I think, is wrong, everything I feel, is Song. I fell in love with a dream. Until I awoke and the dream had forgotten me. Resolved to daydream more...It takes everything I have to trust anyone at all. And even then....even Now. Still blocked, still frozen, still on fire.'

 You have to be 100percent behind someone to stab them in the back.

 If you are trying to communicate... try and keep it Universal in the personal. Don't listen to this music, do something else, divert the thoughts and allow it enter, accept the sweet invasion connecting with the centre, arrows fired/fishing lines cast with barbed hooks...sense the light changing through your skin...Synaptic gateways to reactivate sleeping DNA, portals opened between the worlds...imagination steps through and then pulls the astral body with it. Take it for a SPIN. Trust it.

 'I've changed my mind, it's what it's there for'. Jonhn Balance.

 We are walking round like caricatures of ourselves

First one to leave the party before the clock strikes twelve

Parodies of humanity.

                      'An old trick well done is far better than a new trick with no effect'.

Harry Houdini...before he drowned in a straitjacket. An old trick done badly.

 Meanwhile...A shame we seem to have misinterpreted each other, more than just a language barrier or an age gap thing. A non event horizon....I'd like to think (but prefer to feel) that the deepest instinct was truly real...fell and haven't quite stopped yet, but it feels like flying. Felt the link, the communication and the exchange.   Wrong. Chemicals ignited, let's not get too quantum metaphysical eh? But. Sigh....

 'What's a circle in three dimensions? A spherical hole.' Now imagine what.....(fill in more blanks with binary thought...transmitting on all frequencies with the full force of your imagination. And seek thee Robert Anton Wilson and Nassim Haramein.

 Start thinking as a species. Yesterday. Yes, we are all indivi duals. Marry the hemispheres, yin yang, do your thang...'Please understand I never had a secret chart to get me to the heart of this or any other matter'.(L.C, The Master Song)

 Random requests for advice yielded the following instant answers:

Breathe in.

Be honest.

Live without fears.

Be kind and honest to all who dwell on Earth (including yourself)

and satisfy your sex drive.

 Free studio time on a Sunday... 7 songs recorded in five hours, (Tell Somebody Else, You were Warned, Hermaphrodite, Home, First Spark of Fascination, Kings they are Naked and 13.) voices, guitars, keyboards and percussion...time for a 9th book and another double cd and concerts at last...but NO idea if I can stay in this country now. Against every part of my nature, I went on the grid, even though trying to do the right thing has never, ever worked for me. Plans are thwarted, being open to chance, works.  So, play and WORK.

 Can I go to sleep yet?

Am I actually awake?

 Not really.

You?

 See you in the summer, perhaps...or astral in ancient Sumeria....

Love is. Was. Will always Be.