#anyways I wrote up my grievances here

[rosesranting]

it takes all my self-control to not comment on TikTok ban posts that contain blatantly false information. read more for my extended Complaining.

keeping in mind that the TikTok ban is a phenomenally stupid idea that should absolutely languish and die in the senate (because Biden has said he’ll sign it, so that’s the only way to kill it currently),

there’s a lot of posts with just. blatantly false information? I saw a post saying ByteDance was based in Singapore. it’s not? it’s based in Beijing. this is information you can find on Wikipedia, and on their own corporate website and social media.

and I will give people that some of what irks me is that I work in a field where I have written papers doing comparative analysis on global data protection regulations. like it’s entirely understandable people aren’t up on Chinese internet law and the exact language of the DSL/PIPL and how it compares to the EU’s GDPR and specifically how it allows the Chinese government to interact with data being stored on servers in mainland China. I wish I didn’t know this information, because researching it required reading hundreds of pages of EU and Chinese regulations. and doing extensive research on U.S. state and local laws for data privacy. it sucked.

(and there’s a lot to say here about hey, U.S. government? if you’re so fucking concerned why not pass your OWN data protection regulations? a TikTok ban doesn’t even solve your stated problem and data protection regulations actually WOULD. and the answer to that one is indeed a mix of corporate interests and “ooh um. we also buy your data? that’s a thing we do and we’d have to work around our own laws.”)

tbh, even the confusion I see around what “foreign adversary” means in U.S. policy is understandable, where people keep asserting it will extend to whoever the current president wants to target. (it is a vague term, but it specifically is used to mean China, Russia, North Korea, and Iran. yes the list can be changed, but the vagueness of the ban referring to “other apps” is so they can target other Chinese-owned social media like weibo. it could be misused later, but major social media the law could go after are either on that list, or fall into the category of “U.S. allies and partners,” meaning it would have a LOT of second- and third-order impacts to move them over to the “foreign adversaries” column)

also for that matter, it isn’t actually a ban, which is in fact extremely confusing due to how it’s being reported on. it requires TikTok to divest its U.S. business, which is a) hilariously impractical to do, and b) would almost certainly be blocked by the Chinese government, so it’s effectively a ban, but not an actual ban. it’s also not the first time the U.S. government has done this; the USG forced a sale of Grindr when it was bought out by a Chinese company. and there is indeed some element of “turnabout is fair play, China,” seeing as they ban US social media. which is a weird moral high ground to try and take when you’re doing the same thing, effectively if not on paper. but that’s the U.S. government for you.

anyway like. in conclusion. some of this irks me because I have the relevant knowledge to spot oversimplifications, but there’s some of it where it’s things like: you can find out where ByteDance is headquartered for free. that takes about 10 seconds. there’s a LOT of misinformation floating around that’s easily disproved with a 10 second fact-checking search. and it’s so frustrating and I’m gnashing my teeth going “I can’t respond to every single post but I’m annoyed every time”

[itscomplicatedx]

Marvel at the beginning of the show: So this show will be about Loki learning to love himself and not being afraid of being lonely anymore.

Also Marvel: completely ignores Loki‘s trauma and tries to make him an evil narcissist** (Mobius is not qualified to make that assessment, especially since according to the TVA, Loki was supposed to do the bad things he did) at the beginning, tries to stick him with a Thor light version of himself, and has him end up alone, where once again, very few people will know or care when he did something heroic.

I liked season 2 a lot better than season 1, but that ending was whack.

If you don’t feel like reading a long rant, feel free to skip below. If you disagree with me and want to make your own long answer, write your own post. I’m mostly here to express my opinion, not get into long debates.

**Marvel doesn’t seem to understand much at all about mental health. I wish we could get whoever wrote Moon Knight to write everything about mental health in the MCU as they handled it in a decent way for a TV show. The last guy they tried to call a narcissist (Tony Stark) literally either tried to or sacrificed himself to save the universe more than once; as did Loki and his variants. Loki was set up to fail since the beginning of the timeline; and while obviously he’s far from innocent, acting like it was all his grievances were in his head and “imagined slights” or just a function of a narcissist is a pretty awful message to send about trauma. We know for a fact there’s a shit load wrong with Asgard, and an amazing slew of double standards in the MCU. It would be a great way to explain it to say it was all part of a timeline that was meant for somethings to turn out a certain way, but I’m not sure they’ll do that. But that’s my head canon anyway, based on what we saw in the What If series. There we see that when certain events aren’t set up and happen differently, heroes can go off the trail and villains can be just fine.

They conveniently showed Loki how Odin “loves him”, but not that he literally kidnapped him and lied that his birthright “was to die”, and just basically let everybody else off the hook including people who have done worse than Loki.

I understand if they didn’t want to use another actual mental health term, but instead of “narcissist” they could’ve just gone with Loki having “severe attachment issues” or something more vague like that, but then they might’ve actually had to talk about how he got them. Because I guarantee you when the majority of people hear the term narcissist they think of the worst kind who have all the worst full blown traits on the spectrum, not of the fragile kind, who do have self-esteem issues, share a lot of traits with BPD, and are said to be more rare. They most definitely don’t think of people who would sacrifice themselves.  

I personally see Loki as Borderline with some narcissistic traits (who wouldn’t have them being raised a royal in a place like Asgard). With Tony I think some of his supposedly worst traits were him trying to cover up his trauma. Sorry Natasha, but an assassin/spy who works for a shady government organization is not qualified to make a mental health assessment. Neither is Mobius.



[expectiations]

Dear Tia,

I am scared of pressuring you, but it is rather difficult to keep track of whether anonymous asks have been answered already. And I saw you answering asks and just wanted to check in whether you have gotten around to my ao3 asks yet. So that if you have, I can go scavenge for them :)

I hope you are having a good day <3

(And don't listen to the River haters; I pity them, it is so much better to love her)

ao3-anon

OH SHIT I AM SO SORRY. I genuinely thought you're the same participant. Or maybe it's two? Idrk 🥹 but anyways here are my answers. And I'm assuming (🥹) that these previous asks came from the same person? So I'm grouping them into this ask too.

– one

When I wrote that DNW, I was in a messy headspace (heh) so I just wanted lighthearted fluff stuff. However, it's also okay for me to have a few angsty moments while keeping the overall fic lighthearted in feels.

Playful DoctorRiver banter? Sure! They're fine for me.

I'm a bit partial to River but if the situation fits for Mels, go ahead! Same goes for using another regeneration of the Doctor.

– two

I am glad to say that I've been doing my best to sleep before 12 am 🫶🏻✨ (except last night. that was a fluke. and totally @croxxbunx's fault 🙄)

Aw thank you! I totally missed writing fanfics 🥹

I am proud to say I'm quite good at drumming up endless prompts. I'm just rubbish at moving it from prompt-level to fic-level lol

– three

I didn't include it since the questions have been answered but thank you for the hug!! 🫂

–

On another note, I just remembered how I came up with that prompt in the first place. I found it amusing to put the Paternoster Gang in a situation where they have to deal with DoctorRiver shenanigans but in a sort of loop. Cause I have this headcanon that the Gang are sort of like parental figures to River. And also provide marriage counseling on the side. And the fun Strax and young!River, who's still quite attached to her guns, would have together!

I mean we all know how the TARDIS totally adores her Water, right? So she makes River a room full of weapons and she and Strax have such a fun time there. Totally for the glory of the Sontaran Empire of course.

Like just imagine young!River, new to Luna U, struggling to be more 'human' than 'weapon'. Fighting the urge to punch/shoot first, ask second. Here comes along the Gang, who shows her how to find her balance, who comforts her and assures her it's okay to hold a weapon while also holding her back from going on a rampage at the slightest grievance.

Strax also had a nursing stint, yes? He nurses River's wounds (you really should be more careful, boy. you are not a strong and mighty Sontaran.) and teaches her how to take care of different kinds of wounds and how to fight for the glory of the Sontaran Empire. I can just hear baby River's giggle and see her bright eyes taking in everything Strax teaches her.

Jenny and Madame Vastra. Feminominons of the Victorian Era. Also River's badass mothers who try to teach her empathy and etiquette, how to give as good as she gets. I like to imagine them dropping in on River and making sure she's eating well, helping her study. (They also totally had nothing to do with the disappearance of the Professor who tried to claim her essay as their own. Absolutely not.)

[roostertuftart]

god the justin roiland stuff is so disappointing but I can't say i'm surprised. Idk if I can ever really enjoy Rick and Morty after this. It already felt filled to the brim with creepy shit that made this whole situation unsurprising for me and had already dashed my enjoyment of it, like having underage Morty date an adult with even his mom addressing it was nasty (the narrative being wholly uncritical of this fact by the end), or all of the weird fixation it's come to have on incest, or just awkward in its writing of female characters.

I'm not here to say you can't still like and enjoy the show yourself because frankly I don't care (though I'd argue you should try pirating it if possible to avoid financial support. But eh, I've yet to see boycotting large and established IPs like this do any good anyway), nor do I think that we should've seen this coming (I do think those were some massive missteps in writing but I wouldn't go as far as to say someone is automatically a predator because they very poorly wrote a joke or two). But man, it really is gross for me to look back on it as well as Solar Opposites to a lesser degree because it really does feel like a lot of this weird shit was deeply imbedded all along. Knowing now that it truly comes from such a fucked up place rather than some nasty jokes or poor writing is hard for me to get past personally. I wasn't the largest fan of Rick and Morty but I loved a lot about it, a lot of the characters, a lot of the ideas and jokes- And the same goes for Solar Opposites.

Idk really where to go from here. I'm just tired of so many famous people turning out to be such monsters, and I hope this is a dying trend as we move farther and farther away from the normalization of youth being so highly sexualized, of teenagers being blamed for the abuse they experience, but sometimes it's hard to keep your faith in the goodness of others when so often these people you look up to turn out to be monsters.

Is this just what humans are? Is it secretly normal to be this disgusting for vast swaths of the human population? It feels like that sometimes. But I don't know- And I don't really think so at the end of the day. I think it's largely societal and something that will in large part become less and less common as time goes on and the world progresses- And while I do think more people are like this than we'd like to believe, I don't think it's innate to any of us, and I think with time and effort things will change and this sickening trend will begin to ebb but. Well. The hopelessness is strong some days.

I hope all of his victims are okay now, I hope they can move on with their lives, I hope his shows are canceled because putting aside my earlier personal grievances, I just do not believe they can last without his writing and voices and I especially do not think he deserves such a platform just to keep a beloved cartoon or two going.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

What do you think of Taylor getting all the hate? I think this is the first time in a long time an album announcement wasn't received well. People are usually neutral towards her even if they don't like her music. Maybe it's because she has been oversaturated she has been constantly releasing albums since 2022, and then the eras tour and break up drama what do you think?

I ended up writing a weird, tangential ramble, so in short, to answer your question: I think it is just oversaturation. She's sort of becoming a lightning rod for people to express all their frustrations with the world, which might be legitimate grievances and might even be fairly related to her (like say jet emissions), but her presence in pop culture just leads to her continuously being the vehicle to have these serious conversations, if that makes sense. Like, I wish she switched to renewable kerosene (which is a thing, look it up! though I imagine it may not be available at most airports) but it serves no one to center a single rich singer-songwriter in the discussion surrounding climate change and the energy transition. (and also people continuously dismiss her security concerns when her houses are like REGULARLY broken into.)

It's difficult not to read most of the backlash as a kneejerk reaction (and to be clear there IS valid criticism), which is also why I try not to give it too much headspace. It's not what I'm here for.

My additonal rambling below the cut (please don't expect more of these lol):

(there's some repetition here cause I actually wrote this bit first)

I have opinions on most Taylor-related news stories, but I find interacting with the haters as well as the fandom tiring in anything larger than small doses (I only follow a handful of swifties and most of them are mutuals).

That being said: I actually really understand the general "Taylor-fatigue" — as you said, she is everywhere these days — and I also think there are things that are totally fair to criticize about her (even hate her for I guess, I can't choose how people feel). But it's also hard to ignore the dehumanization she's subjected to on the daily (like the idea that her using her jet too much gives people the right to create an app to track her current location – as if her location is relevant to the amount of emissions she's caused). But I guess that's just the price you pay for the type of success she's gained. I also think one can't totally blame her. Yes, she's touring a lot and putting out tons of music but that's her job!! And I love these things and WANT more of them!! It doesn't to me seem reasonable to expect her not to attend football games to support her boyfriend just because people can't stop filming her. Being annoyed by how she's everywhere is normal, but projecting all that annoyance back onto her, leading to disproportionate criticism of everything she does: that's on everyone. I don't know if it's avoidable at this point, I just wish people interacted with her in a more self-aware way.

Also, regarding people finding the vibe of the next album cringe: again, I don't have an influence on how people feel about art lol, but I do find that some of the criticism seems to be assuming it is entirely serious, without a hint of irony, and frankly I find that silly, given Taylor's entire body of work. (There was a time when people took Look What You Made Me Do 100% at face value and made fun of it for that! but oh well, bunch of people missed the nuance of Anti-Hero. Anyways.)

Sorry, I don't actually want to get into a discussion about the minutiae of everything everyone says about her. Like, I don't want to feel obligated to provide my take on every single thing that she does or happens to her, whether I support her or don't support her in that particular instance. That is too much work in such an active fandom.

[meherya]

Let's talk about The Brothers Sun :)

I think, my number one gripe with this show was that, I could see the potential... there were scenes where you could see the insane shit this show could have pulled off if it was written by literally ANYONE else

The first thing that really made me go 🤨 watching this show was the incessant references to #diasporaasiankidtingz.. I'd understand if it was here or there as some sort of comedy relief... But no it was literally every other scene if not every scene....

From a cop adjacent character eating buldak noodles at an active crime scene, to teaching a Taiwanese gangster the hidden asian mom language... it was just so... stupid? Is the only way I could describe it, it's like someone compiled a number of posts from Facebook's Subtle Asian Traits page and structured the story and dialogue around that? Thought it was kind of funny that they remembered "Asian" doesn't just mean East Asian when they threw in random brown girl from the morgue...

Actingwise, Justin Chien is by no means a bad actor, every scene where he speaks in mandarin his acting is a lot less wooden than when his dialogue is english and I genuinely believe it's because of the rigid way they wrote his lines in english... as for everyone else.... Sam Song Li was rlly putting his whole bussy into his americanized first gen immigrant kid schtick and like whatever...

I found the concept of this top Triad guy coming to LA to look after his mom and brother after an assassination attempt on their father to be intriguing... his mom was as cool as I expected (her own fight scene... ofc she should've been head bitch in charge!!!) but ofc his brother would be a whitewashed loser!! But you know, it could've worked!!! It could've been interesting if they didn't have Bruce emulating Marvel movie comedy all the fucking time... But if you think about it too hard you might go, why would the son/best fighter of this Triad leave the whole business behind to look after his mom/brother and not take back up with him?? Some math was simply not mathing... but we move on

There's just a lot of points that don't make sense plotwise? Like oh so now this random cop girl is actually childhood besties with Charles?... And the way they try to force some semblance of chemistry between the two with them hamfisting by them just going back and forth like "remember when-"... and their flirting was gag worthy bc they had her speaking huskily for no reason?? It was really lifeless sort of interactions and they were really trying for the star crossed lovers bit but it simply did not work sorry.... It was kind of fucked because the tension between Drowsy and Charles in like 1/4 of an episode was 10 times whatever the cop girl and Charles had going on.... Though I do appreciate it how the show does go "once a rat, always a rat" bc she really fucked that man just to get a bust on him like woah!!! Of all my grievances with that lacklustre romance I do appreciate them not being together and her being loner loser at the end.

But anyways... I think the show did decent job at showing how trying to live up to a parent's expectations can break you as a person and force you into a role you dgaf about, and how it's important to also put your needs first before you become a shell of a person... But also they could have done it without being corny as fuck...

I think the plot with this underdog group of anti-Triads would have been soo good, if it was integrated better? Also Grace randomly approaching Bruce like we all knew she was gonna be a traitor... And like!! She wasn't wrong!! Their group was wasn't wrong!!! Why should the Triads exist when all they do is profit off others misery??? Like we are supposed to cheer on the Triads why? Because that's who we follow largely, and because of Bruce's bitchass.... He pissed me off soo bad by the end it's not even funny...

Think the show could have had merit if Bruce decided to join Grace after seeing old bald dude get killed, and realizing how fucked his family is... Him snitching to a group of people who want to murder your family, claiming that was him trying to save his family from themselves.... And believing them when they say okay well we'll try not to kill them but no promises... How are you a pre-med when you're that stupid lol

I was gonna write paragraph of how I wanted to see this go and how they could have factored in Charles being ordered to kill Bruce (which was fucking insane by the way, my fave episode of the series) to be even more wild but like it's marketed as a comedy so whatever but man it was fucking corny as shit with random gaping plot holes that we really dont want to think too long and hard about .... I will say tho, kudos for not having white people in this as love interests or sidekicks so!!!! So 2/5

also curious what Taiwanese ppl think about that scene where Bruce just calls Charles Chinese... Ik Taiwan and China got some beef, idk the specifics of it but 👀

[bisamwilson]

Hi! #77 for I just met you (and this is crazy)??

hello!! thanks for the ask <3

(from this list)

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [i just met you (and this is crazy)] story/chapter? 

(fic here!)

this sounds kind of lame probably but i really truly love the opening scene for this fic. i was really proud of the tone of the banter i got between them, and the way i wrote bucky as kind of awkward but immediately flirty in a rather deadpan way, and it really set up the tone for how easily the two of them would act together

like there are a lot of very emotional and important exchanges between them in all of my fics but somehow this is always the one i think about when i think about my favorite dynamic i've written between the two of them:

Bucky’s eyes don’t stray from his tablet. “Oh, I’m raking it in. I made a whole five euro an hour working at a moving company today.” Sam’s surprised he hasn’t bolted yet. “That is definitely lower than the minimum wage here.” Bucky shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee. “It was all in cash, guy didn’t ask questions. I’ll take what I can get.” He’ll keep talking as long as Bucky will. He nods to the tablet. “Where’d you get that, then?” “I pulled it out of my ass, Wilson,” he says, finally looking up at Sam.  Sam knows Bucky’s just being a dick, but he thinks back to those old stories of Clint keeping cell phones and credit cards where the sun don’t shine and grimaces anyway. “Must be achy as hell back there.” Bucky grins, a glint in his eye that’s weirdly flirtatious. “Not the first time I’ve had something a little too big up my ass. Hopefully won’t be the last.”

i also liked writing the scene where they go into a walmart both bc i got to air my grievances about the mcu's love of logoless ball caps which i'd literally never seen IRL until i was like 20, got to give bucky my absolute adoration of old people candy (werther's originals), and i got to make bucky an absolute sap for the wilsons before he met the vast majority of them

[theribthatgrewback]

9, 11 and 13 :3

(ask game)

I assume you mostly want JtHM takes so I'll focus on those but since you didn't specify fandom I'll chuck in a couple others I feel strongly about if that's ok!

9. Worst part of canon

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: This is tough, because I really like how everything was handled in the main story. I guess I personally found the doughboys slightly annoying, but at the same time, they served a crucial narrative purpose, so I really can't complain. Every (subjectively) """bad""" part of canon had a reason for being there, so I like every part for what it is. HOWEVER, if we're counting the spinoffs and the little "meanwhile" inserts, I really hated the like... vomit-porn aside thing in Squee. Though I guess hating it was the whole point, so like. mission accomplished? Also I don't really get Noodle Boy.

Adventure Time: Jake should have stayed blue. Explained here. I wrote the submission, hi.

Futurama: Multiple episodes. Neutopia weirdly ramped up everybody's misogyny beyond what's in-character in order to serve the "sexism is bad but gender is still part of the human experience and there will always be conflict" plot (which also is a weird gender-essentialism plotline anyway because like. The Fact That Gender Exists should not equal Conflict). Unnecessarily mean. Like I can see Bender doing that shit but there's no way that Farnsworth thinks that way. Unrelated to that one, Attack of the Killer App (origin of the "shut up and take my money" meme) leaned needlessly hard into gross-out humor. It just didn't fit the tone of the rest of the show.

Actually I'll be here all day if I list all my grievances so I'll cut this segment here.

11. Number of fandom-related words you've filtered

There's a lot of duplicates for The Same Thing Written Different Ways but if I count those as the same thing, 4. Across all fandoms. Though this blog hasn't been around long so this will probably expand in the future.

13. Worst blorbofication

(interpreting this as "wildly out of character to serve the 'comfort' of the person writing about them") Oh baby. I come from roleplay communities. I've seen shit that would make you sick. I've seen somebody play Fern (Adventure Time) Prismo (Adventure Time) and Kevin (Ben 10) all with the exact same personality. I've seen somebody Else who takes LITERALLY over 200 characters (in "no doubles" type places so now nobody else can use those characters), and also makes them all exactly the same... except for the added detail that This person talks like if a wiki page could make fart jokes. (Side note: I think that person also pretended to be three different people. Like there were three separate accounts with different names who all talked to each other, but they all wrote exactly the same way. And with exactly the same fart jokes. And they usually showed up at exactly the same time.) THE ONE SAVING GRACE of all this is that JtHM is obscure enough that I never saw Other People RP it in multifandom spaces, so it was spared this treatment. I have seen glimpses of how the fandom acts on tumblr though so:

JtHM: Nny. I really think Nny gets the worst of it. In canon, he's a very unlikeable person. That's part of why he's so interesting! He tries really hard to be nice to certain people, like to Squee, but he fails every time. He traumatizes that kid. He abuses animals. He's fatphobic. He blames addicts for their addictions. He trivializes the fight against racism (in a brief aside line at the cafe). He's all kinds of messy, awful things, and it's fascinating. It makes you want to pry his brain open and study him. Yet so much of the fanstuff you see of him files down his bad edges and just makes him "funny murder guy" at the cost of the nuances of his personality (this happened to Patrick Bateman too, as an aside). People are scared to confront that he's kind of a piece of shit, just because he's the Cool Protagonist.

[kylie]

a blog about nothing for no one in particular

It's been awhile since I've blogged about nothing for no one in particular. I used to be called "preteenager" and I was also aptly aged. Now, at 24 going on 25 in a few months, one of things at the forefront of my mind lately is that inner child. I used to stay up really late posting on here. Who among us didn't hit their reblog limit most days of the week? There was great music (MGMT, Frank Ocean) and great art and great jokes and even great writers. I had a sticker-ladden laptop that I would tap away at, filling posts with whatever I had in mind.

I loved it so much, I made a career out of it. "Do what you love, and you'll never work another day in your life,” people say. I do love my career, but it isn't the writing I love. I love the sticker-ladden laptop, the 14-year-old girl with too much time on her hands, and whatever asinine shit she wrote at that age. There is really a lot of creative freedom when you write for no money, no clicks, and no clout.

I do love what I do. I love being a writer. But I miss the simplicity of writing about nothing for no one in particular. I do write in a physical journal quite often, I write in the same journal I got in 2010. Yet, when I write in that journal, I feel I'm writing for myself about my life. I'm writing to air grievances about my day, I'm writing to figure out what's going on in my brain. There's a certain pressure to that journal, to fix me and mature me and straighten me out.

For my job, there is (rightfully) a great deal of structure involved. Journalists must reveal the truth, and ledes, nutgraphs, and kickers will follow in such order. You cram this quote here, don't forget to doctor up the SEO, and what's a headline that will grab reader's attention? Once your words are cut up like so and published, the company expects it to make them money. If it doesn't, well that's your fault and we're laying you off because not making money is not in our fiscal year budget!

The whole process of writing this way is daunting to me, as someone who pecked at a keyboard for no reason other than I read a lot of books to escape abuse as a child, and writing followed suit. I chose writing and reading for the freedom it provided me. Choosing it as a career created limitations that my inner child doesn't seem to love, I'm finding.

I've found ways around this mental burden. I love writing newsletters, columns. I use social media as a tool to express myself, too. I'm hoping to pitch more of this to my employer this year. I thrive when I can be authentically myself and creatively free. It's a lot to ask, but I'm working towards it.

But for me today, and for the me inside of me from many todays ago, I want to write about nothing for no one in particular. I want to let my hands dance across the keyboard, and remove the backspace from my motions. If you're no one reading this, you should read Shitty First Drafts by Anne Lamott (also, read Bird by Bird from Anne too). Both, especially the former, were transformative to me as a writer. Shame has no place here, write your shitty first draft.

So, anyways. It's a nice exercise to be myself here. I don't think I'm interested in blogging here like I once did, divulging far too much information on the internet. I still do that, just not here. But I do like just writing ... about nothing ... for no one in particular.

[authoralexharvey]

❔ and ❌ for the wip asks!!

Hey thanks for the ask!!

❌What WIP do you find the most challenging? Why?

Hands down, this one goes to something I've tentatively titled "Out of Focus", which is about a man who can view snippets of the past through photographs and uses this power to be an "avenger for hire". Now, the premise itself is dope as fuck, especially since I have plenty of things in it that has me excited (including Siobhan, a dullahan who uses their decapitated head for pranks and eats via osmosis). It's my answer to the unasked question of "What if Max from Life is Strange had a revenge fantasy"... except Charlie's power is more voyeuristic and he can't change the past.

However, the reason this WIP is so challenging is because of Charlie himself, the main character. There are facets of his character that are a little too close to home for me to be able to comfortably write about this book for too long. Not only that, but some of the themes I want to tackle are a bit... much for me right now, I think.

So I haven't been able to... do much with it. I want to. And I've slowly inched myself closer and closer to a state of being where I CAN write it... still can't yet, though. Not yet.

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

Everyone and their dad knows about ASMLP at this point, so I'm not gonna bore you going over something you already know about.

Instead, I want to talk about short stories, because those are the things next up that I have the most of, and the most ideas for. Here's short spurts about a couple.

By now, my grievances with myth retellings are well-documented, but I'm still quite excited about my take on Eros and Psyche. It's not a myth I see a lot of retellings for, to begin with. Furthermore, I'm really a fan of what I've got for the outline in terms of plot and whatnot. I'm really excited to see this develop. It's definitely going to be a longer short story... perhaps my longest so far.

A long, long time ago I wrote a short story called Sloth which was about a sloth in a zoo exhibit who becomes a young boy's sole confidant and, eventually, the only living being to witness his suicide. I think the premise is interesting on its own and have been wanting to rework it, anyway, but the drive to do so recently got refueled by a writing advice book I'm reading from Chuck Palahniuk. I won't say what the advice was yet, but the idea I got as a result is something that has me quite excited to start working again on this one.

I've been tossing around a short story idea called In Time for The Wedding. It is, as Audre Lorde or Michelle Tea might call it, a Biomythography. Based on some real events, combined with a possibility that never happened. This one, much like OOF (what an acronym) is dealing with some subjects that are going to make this an... inherently more difficult short to work with, but I still want to

I'm planning a short story about a Hestia devotee that has the barest bones of plot and is mostly vibes but I still like the ideas I've penned down for it so far!

Those are all the ones at the forefront of my mind rn. Thanks for the ask 💕💕💕

[philately-fatality]

lmao I wrote a whole essay in the drafts but basically this blog feels like a chore so like I’ll be back for season 15 (maybe)

[youkaigakkou-tl]

The Haruaki Student Arc Post

In other words: “Haruaki has a weird dream and I read way too much into it”

It’s only 2 chapters, pretty short to be called an arc, but I call it an arc anyway since it’s got enough material I thought about and wrote all of this.

Also I’ve been reading up on stuff to make the Kyoto arc post and it's kinda driving me insane so this is like a brain cleanser.

All opinions, theories etc are my own, if it’s not explicitly shown in the manga it’s my own extrapolation.

This is over 3800 words, and more coherently written than the Renren arc post, so buckle in.

Spoilers for chapter 79 and 80, I recommend you pull up those two chapters on wherever you read manga for the full experience, and also pull up whatever other chapters I mention.

OP talks about Monogatari series for a minute

My first impression of these two chapters was that it’s very similar to Zoku Owarimonogatari, in that both are “MC is the same, but trapped in a world where everyone else behaves differently”. Of course, it’s very different once you actually get into it, in Zoku Owari it’s that everyone else’s hidden parts are on full display, whereas here it’s just a slight dynamic change due to Haruaki being aged down a few years. Despite that, I think both of these serve similar purposes in the narrative, as a reflection on the MC through the lens of the other characters, and also a reaffirming of who they are as people.

(If you haven’t seen Monogatari series, it’s really good, or maybe it’s just because I like ahoge idiots?)

Anyway, the chapter, huh

Interestingly, or rather obviously, it starts in almost the exact same way as chapter 33, with the students going to play somewhere and Haruaki feeling left out. In some sense, this arc is a “Prying into Haruaki’s Problem” part 2, tackling the problem from the students’ angle instead of the teachers’ angle.

This arc gives me so many emotions, he’s still hung up about this even after all this time (crying punching walls etc I care him so much)

Notably though, he’s been through a lot more at this point compared to chapter 33, namely the events of ch33 itself, Miki arc, Ebisu’s introduction, also the whole Renren arc.

You can really see this in how much better he takes stuff in the first pages of ch79 than in ch33, how much more open he and Miki and Hatanaka are. Reading back ch33 now, it’s really become clear how Miki and Hatanaka were tiptoeing around Haruaki in their own way. (Well, also because this is before Miki ironed out his own feelings about this whole thing)

It’s also fascinating that he says this in ch33, because the fact this arc happens shows that he clearly has not come to terms with this as much as he thinks he has. Haruaki’s such an interesting character to me for this reason, he’s clearly a smart guy, but even knowing about your own feelings objectively, you can’t do anything about it.

“Haruaki!!”

Clearly, the first sign that it’s not the real Sano would be this.

I translate from the Chinese version, so it wasn’t immediately obvious this happened, since Chinese doesn’t have furigana and doesn’t differentiate “Haruaki” and “Seimei”. In early chapters they used “清明” (as opposed to “晴明”, they have slightly different readings) for “Seimei” but ultimately they dropped that. Actually, “清明” is the word for qingming festival, or tomb sweeping day, so that’s kinda cute.

Anyway, I bring this up because I only looked at the JP raws after fully reading the chapters in CN, and for a moment I was exhilarated that Sano called him “Haruaki”, and then I remembered it’s a fake Sano.

This first scene in the dream is also a clue, because in the real world Sano and Mame are rooming, and neither of them would have it any other way.

I wonder if one of Haruaki’s grievances is also his loneliness in university, since Amaaki went to a different uni to study shrine stuff, Haru probably roomed alone. (This is in a twitter comic I haven’t translated yet)

Hijita talking to Haruaki

This is a very minor thing, but if you’ll recall, Hijita is introduced as hating humans because his sister’s husband has his shit together. He ends up changing his mind and being okay with Haruaki because he’s such a pathetic meow meow.

(If you look at early chapters, you can really see which details were put in later, like how Hijita says the only humans he knows are his sister’s husband and his family, but Beniko has 3 human dads)

(Also, the detail that Haruaki “didn’t know youkai existed before now”, but he’s seen mandragoras before, also small Miki, also the creepy lady dragging Ame away, also Ame says he “fibs about seeing strange creatures all the time”. Crack answer would be he’s an airhead who doesn’t connect any dots, crack taken seriously would be he has some kind of mental issues or coping mechanism either from being Abe no Seimei’s reincarnation or not being taken seriously all the time and possible bullying, the essay for which I’ll never write because I’m not good at understanding people/characters.)

Anyway, it’s really probably just a throwaway line, if we really take it seriously probably something similar happened in this fake universe.

Mame is the MVP of this manga

Have I mentioned Mame is the MVP of this manga? No because I just realised it writing this essay. This manga straight up would not exist without Mame. First of all, I’m pretty sure he’s the student who talks to Haruaki the most, as much as or even more than Sano. If they’re in the same scene, Mame’s probably saying something to Haruaki.

(All these are just from flipping through chapters for a minute, mostly volume 1)

The second line he ever says, 4 pages into chapter 1, is asking Sano if he’s going to help Haruaki when they see him getting harassed.

In chapter 1, Sano did go up to reassure Haruaki of his own volition, but I’m sure the entire reason he decided to do that and isn’t more of a brooding emo teen is because he’s been friends with Mame.

(There's an interesting throughline here, the parallel between Mame and Sano befriending Haruaki, and Hatanaka and Miki befriending him. The “emo loner with trauma” and “extrovert animal youkai bff”)

Mame also started the biology club, which = mandragoras.

Also, Hatanaka and by extension Miki only became teachers because of Mame.

In other words, Mame really is the mascot character.

Dodgeball

This part’s a callback to chapter 5, where Sano and Haruaki do basketball combat, it even reuses the same sailor uniform joke!

Again, Mame’s on Haruaki’s side instead of Sano’s, a clear but super missable clue.

I do wonder how exactly the makuragaeshi’s fake Sano works, is it just the makuragaeshi wearing Sano’s appearance, or was a Sano of this AU created, that the makuragaeshi is just piloting? Most of this Sano’s behavior is too Sano™ for someone who doesn’t even know what name he calls Haruaki, methinks.

(Or he just called him “Haruaki” to flatter him? Sure got to me for a moment.)

This page

What can I even say? This page just destroys me. This manga is a masterpiece

Izuna-kun and Rintarou-kun

Right, now we get into the detective part of this essay. I have to respect the makuragaeshi for this (and also Tanamai-sensei) that it’s not just “dream world where Haruaki gets everything he wants”.

(Imagine I’m like this)

The entire reason I’m taking these 2 chapters seriously is that the makuragaeshi seemed surprised at all the changes ageing down Haruaki caused, so there’s more to it than “haha wacky dream world”.

I can’t help but wonder if Hatanaka in this universe is way harsher than in the real world, and if there’s a reason why.

Compare this to him being all buddy buddy with Mame and Tamao in Yoseito, as well as him being one of the first ones to warm up to Haruaki in the earliest chapters.

This is a fascinating thing to consider as well, because I reckon the reason Hatanaka gave Haruaki a chance was that Miki gave Haruaki a chance, but Miki had ulterior motives. I’d even hazard that Miki arc was planned to happen from the very beginning.

Biggest thing in this chapter about Hatanaka, that’s pointed out twice, is that he’s not married to Ibara. (He doesn’t have the scarf and doesn’t have a ring) Which also means he doesn’t have kids. I bet having a wife and kids would mellow him out some and make him tolerate students more.

Miki is also extra prickly, which is understandable, but in ch53 we see him react to Ebisu knowing about his family matters, and he doesn’t explode like he does in this chapter. Of course, there’s different parts to the equation, Miki would be more careful about what he does in front of a god than a human, but I think it’s interesting to consider.

If Haruaki was aged down, Hatanaka and Miki would not have met him on their 2nd year school trip, but it’s not like that was a formative experience for the 3 of them anyway. Maybe it was for Sano, but Sano’s totally out of the equation for this analysis, obviously.

On the topic of Sano, Ebisu doesn’t show up at all this arc. In the real world, Ebisu spies on Hyakki primarily for Sano, and Haruaki is only secondary. The reason he’s even aware of Haruaki is the TV program he did in ch17, and also meeting him in Tokyo when he got lost in ch36 to ch38, which is kinda connected to meeting him 9 years prior when little Sano gave Haruaki the talisman.

All of this would not have happened if Haruaki was aged down. He still might have gotten lost on that field trip and ended up in Kyoto, but the timing would not have lined up with Hatanaka and Miki’s school trip.

Intermission

I’m realising this Just Now, but the dream doesn’t happen at the same time of year as the real world.

They’re wearing the winter uniform in the dream (gakuran for the boys, long sleeves for the girls) which would be for October until the end of May.

Whereas the students are still in their summer uniforms in the real world (blue button up for boys, short sleeves for girls). Even for the Kyoto arc after this which definitely happens in October, they’re still not in winter uniforms, just sweater vests over the summer uniform.

This is also why the last time we see students in gakuran in the manga proper is chapter 7, even though the unbuttoned gakuran is such a delinquent look.

If I had to guess, I’d say the dream is set super early in the school year rather than after October.

In that case, this would have been before the field trip to Tokyo happened anyway, timeline-wise.

Intermission over

Miki’s situation is interesting to consider, because Haruaki was a lot more involved with him.

First of all, his mom is still sealed, so it can be assumed not much has changed about Abe no Seimei 1000 years ago.

With Haruaki aged down, he wouldn’t have met Miki when they were 10, because Haruaki would have been like, 1 year old, not at the age he would go jaunting around to the next prefecture over.

This means Miki wouldn’t have had to see Haruaki get totally murdered! Hooray!

A slight tangent. The chapter title for Miki arc is “Abe no Seimei, Haruaki Abe and Shutendouji”. Have you ever wondered how it was written in the original? No? Come on, have some curiosity.

It uses the same kanji for Abe no Seimei and Haruaki Abe, but it has 2 lines of furigana. How many other mangas get to do this? Man.

That aside, this still doesn’t explain anything, in fact the Miki in this universe is even more prickly than the real Miki. This Miki actually reminds me of the real Miki when he learned his mom was going to be unsealed.

Actually, now that I think about it, even without the trauma of seeing his new friend get eaten, he would have been an outcast at school either way for being the shutendouji’s kid.

The thing I’m hung up on mostly is Ibara. Given that “the true nature of people haven’t changed” and all, if Hatanaka and Ibara both exist, pretty good chance they would have gotten married. So, indulge me on these 2 crack theories! Don’t take anything too seriously, I’m not taking anything seriously.

Crack theory 1: Time travel real

EDIT Feb 2023: wrote a post about hatanaka time travel, go read that.

This has to do with the whole subplot in Yoseito where Yamazaki recognised Hatanaka from 100 years ago, and also Ibara recognised him. My pet theory, because it’s the easiest and most obvious one, is that there’s time travel shenanigans involved, basically the Hatanaka from a future point in the main story ended up in the past. Now, because this is a reality where Haruaki is the same age as Hatanaka and a teacher, and he’s also the number 1 causer of shenanigans, it probably has something to do with him.

Conversely, if Haruaki isn’t the same age as Hatanaka and causing shenanigans, the events from 100 years ago might be different, and Ibara wouldn’t be as inclined to notice Hatanaka and get married eventually.

That said, this is a crack theory based off another crack theory, so nothing holds water here really.

Crack theory 2: Ibara is dead

This was actually the first conclusion I came to, because my default thought process is “but what if dead?”.

This might sound insane, but I have reasons. (I think.)

It all comes back to the “their true natures haven’t changed” thing, that if Hatanaka and Ibara both exist, they would have gotten together.

It’s not a world where Ibara never existed in the first place, because Miki is a teacher after all. Mame pushed Hatanaka to become a teacher, but he might have let Miki convince him not to if Ibara wasn’t there to convince Miki as well.

So if Ibara died at some point, it would be within the 8 years between Miki’s high school years and present day.

We know that Miki’s mom has been eating his spirit energy. I also wonder if eating Haruaki/Seimei’s soul had some averse effects on Mikimom, like delaying her seal getting nearly broken by a couple years.

While Ibara is the strongest of the Miki siblings, Mikimom is still considerably stronger. She also seems to be the most willing to put herself on the line for Miki.

I guess, what I’m getting at is, something happened with Miki and their mom, and Ibara ended up dead because of it, also explaining why he’s so much more prickly at his mom being mentioned.

So anyway

Fun thought experiment, right? Like I said, it’s stupid crack theories, don’t take either of them too seriously.

Most of this mystery comes from not knowing the details of how Hatanaka and Ibara got together exactly, as well as not enough details about Ibara herself, so I imagine this will get cleared up at some point. Hatanaka being maidenless was such a big detail that it was specifically pointed out and highlighted, so I wanted to explore it for a bit.

That was a lot of words about the teachers, so I want to go back and look at the students for a bit.

Some of the obvious changes would be Beniko being a shut-in, since in the real world Haruaki directly caused her to come back to school. Straightforward.

Fuji and Ogoso aren’t friends since ch35 didn’t happen.

From that panel in the classroom we actually learn the seating arrangement of the Ogata twins (previously, both seats were just labelled “Ogata” in the tweet with the seating arrangement), Rin (black hair) sits behind Kou.

Also from that classroom panel, Haruaki is sitting in Hijita’s seat, probably not for any reason other than it’s a nice central location. The person behind him whose hair you can barely see is probably Maeda, Satsuki either isn’t in class yet or at all.

Though on the next page it seems like he’s actually in the front row seat, where Nyuudou normally sits.

Where is Dr. Takahashi

The burning question. WHERE IS HE. WHERE IS MY MALEWHORE- I mean uh doctor!!

This also entirely has to do with Utagawa and Nyuudou, which is brought up in the chapter itself, but it goes even deeper than purely “Takahashi made Utagawa’s human form”.

The only thing that’s confirmed is that “Takahashi is not a doctor”, whether this means Takahashi doesn’t exist at all or simply has a different job, I’m not sure. I actually thought the policeman near the end of ch80 is Takahashi, since Tanamai sensei has drawn Takahashi and Yamazaki clothes swap before, but it’s not certain.

If Takahashi isn’t a doctor, Nyuudou’s parents wouldn’t have had that conversation with him about human mothers and youkai children, and he wouldn’t have made that remark about youkai and human laws, which means Nyuudou’s dad wouldn’t have been pushed to get involved in politics.

“Whether they exist was changed” is coupled with Saitou Manuel becoming minister of the ministry of youkai, so I’m not sure if this is trying to imply that Nyuudou doesn’t exist or his dad doesn’t exist.

Well… either case then, Nyuudou doesn’t exist, and Utagawa Ruri wouldn’t have met him. Even if she died then, she wouldn’t have the regrets that caused her to turn into a gashadokuro. Or maybe she’s still alive as a human in this universe! It’s only stated that her “birth condition left her frail”, so there’s a chance she wouldn’t have died.

There’s also the chance that Nyuudou does exist, just that Renka ended up in a different hospital than Ruri. Takahashi had connections with the director of the hospital Renka stayed at, and had his nurses placed there, so there’s a good chance he pulled strings to have Renka there to better keep an eye on her condition.

Still, that doesn’t explain why Nyuudou isn’t in class 2-3, so I’m inclined to believe he doesn’t exist in this universe. Maybe they went to a different doctor who convinced Renka to abort.

Or maybe Hajime and Renka didn’t get married at all, for some reason? idk

The principal mentions the youkai ministry’s push for coexistence, but the reason for that in the real world is Hajime wanting a better world for his son, so what would be the reason in this universe?

See, even after, or perhaps because of, Renren’s arc, there’s still so many mysteries.

None of this answers why Takahashi has a different job/doesn’t exist either, Takahashi not being a doctor is just the catalyst for the whole Nyuudou family mystery.

If Takahashi doesn’t exist for some reason, it would explain why Yamazaki isn’t a policeman, considering the reason he got an upbringing at all was that he was basically adopted by the Takahashi family.

Still. This is like THE biggest mystery. This has haunted me ever since I first saw this arc.

Principal and Ranmaru

Just kidding this is the biggest mystery.

In the real world, the principal is actually super open about Haruaki’s powers and why he wants him here. However, in this universe he seems especially ticked off by Haruaki mentioning it, something Ranmaru points out specifically.

And Ranmaru as well, in the real world he wasn’t even aware Haruaki existed until physically meeting him in ch21, so nothing should have been able to change him creating the karasu tengu troupe.

Granted, the troupe seems to have been a recent thing he came up with, and not hundreds of years old. Still, in this universe, the principal trusted him enough to hire him?

I just… don’t know what to make of this at all? We still know so little about the principal and Ranmaru, even now. Maybe when Kyoto arc is over I’ll return to this with answers.

Anyway, Ranmaru is the homeroom teacher of 2-5 here, which is interesting because 2-5 is the only class whose homeroom teacher we don’t actually know. (obviously it’s not Ranmaru in the real world, but y’know)

Class 1 is Hatanaka, 2 is Miki, 3 is Haruaki, 4 is Mouse-sensei, and 6 is Awayama (the centaur). 5 is probably the nurikabe teacher, considering we see him hanging out with the other second year teachers.

Ranmaru’s probably 2-5 just so he wouldn’t replace a character we know and raise more questions.

Woe, this diagram be upon ye. I made this back when I translated the chapters, so it’s not an exact 1-to-1 of this post, but the rough ideas are there. Now that I look at it, what the hell are some of these points? Just consider this a peek into my brain, I guess.

Fake Sano-kun

(Harusano handholding...)

This just FEELS like a callback to camp, combining both Sano catching Haruaki and Tamao exposing Yamazaki’s Nyuudou. Although the makuragaeshi’s fake Sano is actually a lot more convincing than Yamazaki’s Nyuudou. Every other sentence Yamazaki said was out of character for Nyuudou, from leaving Tamao behind to loredropping about youkai and ghosts.

The makuragaeshi’s Sano was a lot more convincing in contrast, the only things giving him away were insulting Mame at the end and also Mame himself. Granted, he said a lot less than Yamazaki, so that’s the secret to a good impersonation really. Funny, since the impersonation that was pulled off the best was Amaaki in the Renren arc, the combination of Amaaki knowing Haruaki well, as well as not talking that much, and also Kurai’s hubris. And also Haruaki coming up with that genius double impersonator plan, because nobody expects 2 impersonators.

To you, who became a teacher

I can only DREAM that I managed to convey these two pages as eloquently as the original (and the Chinese version) did, and I’m looking forward to the official translation so I can bawl my eyes out over these two pages all over again.

(I wrote these messages while translating these two pages)

I love the way this manga just answers philosophical dilemmas so straightforwardly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Of course, the only reason he was able to say all this is because of all the work he put in, all the work he saw his students put in, and isn’t that what living means? Are you not just the sum total of your experiences, of all your hard work? Isn’t it worth it to live in the real world for the sole reason that you crafted it with your own hands?

I just think these 2 chapters are Phenomenal, Amazing, Life Changing, this is up there in my favorite chapters along with ch33. I love that even though the premise is a dream, it follows set rules and opens up interesting ideas and questions. It’s also such an important arc to reaffirm who Haruaki is as a person, and a prelude/setup to the Kyoto arc.

Thank you for reading all this, and I hope it made sense, as well as made you love these two chapters as much as me. Let me leave you with the inner color page of volume 12.

See you in the Kyoto arc post, I guess? I imagine that one will be a lot less narrative-focused than this one, and more focused on the history of Kyoto as well as Japanese mythology in general.

Also check my rambles tag for more stuff like this

[thesuperiorloki]

I have to say this because I never know when to keep my mouth shut (although it pains me because I love Tom and I want him to prosper in all things): Loki (and Tom) deserved way better than the show we got. The writing is just plain bad.

I’m not the first to point this out, but the three biggest problems are that (1) Loki has no agency in his own show, (2) the writers seemed to have no understanding of what shaped and motivated Loki heretofore so his Hero’s Journey is all over the damn place, and (3) there is far too much telling and hardly any showing. This is basic stuff: any writing teacher worth their salt would have red-marked the shit out of this script, rightfully so.

The protagonist’s actions need to have a bearing on the plot for their presence to mean anything at all. As it stands, Loki was simply along for the ride for most of his own show, acting essentially as a stand-in for the audience by reacting to things and asking questions that allowed lazy exposition. If you took him out entirely or replaced him with someone who wasn’t Loki, the basic plot and premise could have remained almost exactly the same. This elementary writing failure disappoints me because Loki’s whole internal struggle is to believe that he matters at all and on a meta-textual level even his own show tells him he doesn’t.

It honestly seems like Michael and the rest of the writing crew didn’t even review Loki’s story before they wrote this series. As I said above, Loki’s entire motivation as a character is to feel that he really matters: a lifetime of standing in his father and brother’s shadows, the lie and betrayal of his heritage, and the writing-off of everything he says and does and feels is what drives him to emotional breakdown. It’s that deep well of pain that ultimately causes him to make all the bad choices that he does and, to me, that’s what makes him a tragic character and not an irredeemable villain. According to writer and director interviews this show is about redemption for Loki, but how can they claim to have redeemed him when they don’t address the legitimate grievances that influenced his decisions? Instead they dictate to the audience that he is an untrustworthy, oversensitive narcissist who talks too much and betrays everyone he loves because he’s just inherently weak and insecure. Loki is made to beg forgiveness on his knees for being afraid of being alone, and the narrative never addresses why that is his greatest fear, it never addresses how his own family fostered that fear. This is another fundamental writing failure that causes the show to miss its mark and ultimately makes his redemption arc feel hollow and forced.

Lastly, because of these two essential weaknesses in the construction of the story, characters are required to constantly narrate what is going on, how they’re feeling and what they’re doing, and thus how the audience is meant to feel. A good story with a strongly written and essential main character will elicit the correct emotional response from the audience through the main character’s actions and the effect those actions have on their environment and the ancillary characters.

It’s so bittersweet for me because I was genuinely excited to see Tom again and for Loki to get a whole 6 hours focused solely on him where he wasn’t playing second-fiddle to Thor. But what Marvel ended up doing to him as a character is exactly what kept happening to him in-universe: he’s written off and pushed aside and essentially told to shut up. I think a real story about Loki’s self-reflection and healing and accountability for his actions is worth exploring and I’m just sorry that’s not what we got.

I realize I’m probably too close to this issue since I’m a cringe Loki stan and I’m taking a Marvel property way too seriously, but here we all are anyway 🤡

[xanadontit]

I have been trying to organize my many, many thoughts about the wedding and can’t decide if I should explain via chronological order or air grievances by person.

Thoughts?

As a teaser I will share that Mashed Potatoes sang a song to Niece during the reception. Unclear if he wrote it but he had to read the lyrics off his phone. When I saw a guy pick up a guitar I said “anyway, here’s Wonderwall” to E and then it got worse. 

[post-it-notes7]

Can you tell us more about your Dragato and Falspar dynamic :0?

oh you poor soul, of course I will :)

(rambling under keep reading)

So, to begin! A lot of this will make the most sense if you read dumb luck first, the Dragato oneshot (also a part of the Heart and Soul timeline, just set in the past before MK was separated from the GSA) I wrote that dives much further into my interpretations of this borb and his idiot friend that have a grand total of 10 second of screen time. If you're caught up on In Your Dreams, then you'll have a vague idea of Dragato and Falspar's characters, but neither have had a chance for their personalities to really shine (they're also both... kinda upset too, so only one side of them has been shown)! You’ll even catch a glimpse of other GSA members (cough cough Jecra and Garlude cough cough) if you give “dumb luck” a look :0!

That said, I’ll still summarize what I can of Dragato and Falspar’s personalities and dynamic here! So, Dragato--outwardly, he appears very stict, very cold, and very no-nonsense. He glowers a lot, he’ll snap at those who spread around rumors and try to start fights, and he tries hard to keep the peace, even if it’s strained and you can tell things are two seconds from exploding into all-out chaos. 

To quote my own fic, “he’s the unofficial mediator of the GSA—he’s the one who listens to complaints and makes the changes needed to keep them in check, the one who kills off rumors that take on a malicious edge, the one who breaks up fights that go too far—and he has no idea if anyone ever even seems to realize it. Afterall, his technical role is only that of a pilot and an instructor. One of Arthur’s close confidantes. His domain is starships and space travel.” 

Basically, he does plenty of work from behind the scenes, and he overworks himself a lot. He shares a lot of similarities to Meta Knight, but while MK can and will push himself to the brink and somehow just keep going anyway--Dragato will pass out from the strain, even if he argues otherwise. He has a lot of grievances with what his nature as a star warrior demands of him, and what he’s actually physically capable of.

Important sidenote! *In the H&S series, star warriors are born as star warriors, it’s in their nature! You cannot become one (at least not through normal means) you simply are or you aren’t.* However--Dragato’s true personality is very different from what he purposely portrays to 90% of the GSA and for what has been shown in IYD. First and foremost, on the inside, he’s complete nerd and an honorary idiot in disguise. He has sass, he has attitude, and he wants nothing more than to show someone how capable he is by challenging them to a brawl at 2am and going absolute feral. Even though he’s constantly trying to put out fights and mediate, he’s a conflict gremlin and he absolutely wants to do nothing more than join in and start tearing things apart alongside everyone else. You might notice in dumb luck that he gets an evil little grin right before charging into a fight, too, and that he despises that. 

Once more I’ll steal a line from my fic, “he doesn’t crave bloodshed, but he revels in knowing that he can protect something.” Dragato cares way way too much (in a good way) for everyone in the GSA, and he’ll lay down his life for each of them any day. To him, the most important thing in any situation is that everyone makes it out alive (is his stand-point in IYD starting to make a little more sense :)?) and as you might imagine, constantly fighting with his personality and his nature to act like something he’s not 24/7 makes him very irritable and prone to spiraling over little things when he’s stressed. Star warriors are supposed to fight until their last breath, and Dragato has spent years in the GSA balancing that deep-seated need alongside the constant pressure he put on himself to maintain peace. Fun times. 

Does he every actually relax? How is he possibly still sane? Well--enter Falspar: the redeemable idiot.  

Falspar is, well, a redeemable idiot. He says stupid things, he does stupid things, he can be incredibly obvious, but he has a heart of gold beneath it all and you won’t find anyone who’s more stupidly loyal as friend. He wants to cheer others up and he’ll do increasingly impulsive things to do it. He’s the social one, he’s friendly, but beware, he knows how to fight and he won’t always just sit there and take it. Also, he has a knack for getting out of tricky situations by complete and utter dumb luck. Yes this relevant to the fic title.

(Another sidenote--this has not been mentioned in IYD and only lightly touched on in dumb luck, but physically, Falspar is incredibly strong. He has a form of high natural strength, which is kinda how he managed to break a mask visor with in a single punch, and he can lift heavy stuff somewhat easily. I straight up yoinked this idea from somewhere in the anime where they call him “the strong one” (possibly in sub of the snack attack episode maybe? I’m not entirely sure it’s been a while) but yeah. If he punched you it would hurt. It would probably break something and then some. Because of this, he also has to keep a close grip on how much strength he puts behind each of his actions, which has the potential to spawn its own kind of trouble) 

Falspar and Dragato have been friends for quite a while, Falspar most often addresses him by the nickname “Drago”, and Falspar was there to witness Dragato change from minor troublemaker and local star warrior menace to the overworked pilot instuctor and strict mediator he is now. He knows about how much of a nerd Dragato, is as well as how hard he’s constantly pushing himself to keep up a front--and to Dragato, that’s a lifeline to find comfort in. 

The two of them still clash over plenty of little things; Falspar tends to say pretty stupid stuff (some things that are just flat out nonsense arguments or that contradict each other) and Dragato, who’s stuck being constantly irritable almost all the time, tends to react to it all the same--but! They admit when they’re wrong at the end of the day, and they apologize, especially when they know they’ve messed up bad and that it’s hurt the other. “dumb luck” provides a prime example.

Falspar gets Dragato to open up and admit he needs a break every once in a while, and Dragato tends to defend Falspar in the bad situations he gets himself easily wound up in. They work well as a team once they get past any nonsense disagreements, and though it’s not explicitly stated in “dumb luck”, Dragato tends to meet with Falspar on random nights to de-stress and ramble on about one thing or another. They talk, they do little things for each other to make life just a bit easier, and they stick together. They’re close friends who are also idiots that roughhouse and call each other names all the time, but they care.

As a little bonus, I’ll go on to talk about how they are both currently doing in In Your Dreams, too.

It’s not great :)

As you might recall, Falspar was the one to first suggest the rumor of MK secretly being corrupted. Yep. That’s what started this. Now, Falspar is oblivious and does stupid things that he really shouldn’t all the time. That includes telling the overly-paranoid commander of the GSA who just won a war mere weeks ago something that coincidentally is very plausible because MK did a lot of things that could be marked as suspicious in the past and no one has seen him face to face in 10 years. Arthur is certainly still to blame for taking that idea and running with it, but Falspar also is not helping the situation by shrugging his shoulders and going “yeah MK is ambitions enough to do something like this” and then going about his day like that’s no big deal. 

Dragato on the other hand, is immediately distrustful of rumors to begin with. He didn’t take this news well. He wants solid evidence before he believes an accusation as harsh as MK (someone he thought was dead for a long time after the GSA was separated in the past and is secretly greatly relieved to learn isn't) could be a traitor, though he’s kept his mouth shut, and he’s been going through it now that the war is finally over. 

Dragato cared very strongly for those in the GSA and reaching their goal--he would have die for them and their cause--and now they’ve actually achieved it, but only a mere fraction of the entire GSA remains. He’s sick of losing people. He’s sick of hearing about Nightmare. Honestly, he really needs a break, and he knows that if MK is labeled a traitor with the potential to bring ruin to the galaxy again, then Arthur will stop at nothing to make sure that threat is destroyed for the greater good. 

Dragato feels like he’s the only one who still has faith in MK, aside from Sirica and Knuckle Joe, his only consolations, and he refuses to condemn him without blatant proof saying otherwise. The most important thing right now is that MK is alive. The most important thing is that he doesn’t turn his back on that.

Falspar is very contradictory in Ch23 when he argues that “MK would totally do this, but he totally wouldn’t lie about it.” Basically, he's doing a terrible job of saying “this is believable and really incriminating but I still have faith that MK is doing what’s best.” He wants to acknowledge the worst, but deep down, he doesn’t really think MK is trying to do anything that would put the galaxy at stake. He won't go against Arthur so easily, but he’s in a gray area between distrusting MK and still believing in him, and he bounces around it at random. 

Where does that put them both? well:

“That’s just your innate ability to test everyone’s patience,” Dragato muttered under his breath, still focused on the controls.

“Ay, what’s your problem today?” Falspar edged back, turning a bit snappish. “What’s gotten you so hung up over this ‘delusional’ myth?”

Unfortunately, when Dragato is very stressed and snaps at Falspar, Falspar’s first instinct is almost always to snap back, for better or for worse. They break into fights easily--and right now is a bad time to be fighting. There’s no time to resolving anything, and they’re seemingly on opposite sides. 

Falspar wants to support Dragato, but he thinks Dragato isn’t seeing the fact that no matter what, there’s still a chance MK could be corrupted, and they need to be prepared to accept that. He knows Dragato takes losing people badly, and he sees it as cushioning the blow ahead of time.

Dragato sees it as a betrayal of trust, and no matter how much he doesn’t want to be at odds with Falspar and the others and that despises in-fighting, he’ll chose the option that he believes will keep everyone alive until the end.

WOW that was long, well, hope that gave some insight! Thank you thank you for the ask anon, hope you all enjoyed my rambles <3

[rxmuz]

Red is the Color of Temptation CH.3

ao3 link

Idk why I didn't think to post the fic here as well but whatever lol. I'll post the first two chapters after this! Anyways, horny thoughts about old fat man and his stomach and excuse my shitty writing skills, I'm new to this 😭

(btw this isn't a first person fic, I just wrote it this way for this chapter!)

word count: 2.3k

It's 6 am when I clock out. The sun hadn't risen yet but there was a light sprinkle falling. As soon as I get home I get into the shower, washing off the grease and sweat from my shift. I usually only had a few minutes under the spray before the streaming water turns lukewarm and then freezing.

The shower helped to soothe my aching muscles but I was still tired. Not enough to fall asleep but enough that I didn't even have the energy to get up and fix myself something to eat.

It's three weeks later that I'm sitting on my couch and mindlessly browsing through channels.

My place doesn't really have any decorations, a few pictures here and there but outside of that, it looked like no one lived here.

There are two leather layers, a coffee table made of faux wood in the living room, and two hanging photographs on my wall. It was a single bedroom apartment, the room consisting of a queen bed, a desk, and a medium-sized drawer.

It's not much but it's something. It's mine, even if I have to work at a club owned by criminals.

I truly don't mind though.

I didn't have the best upbringing, but that could be said for a lot of people in Gotham.

My mother died when I was three so it was just me, my two siblings, and my dad until I moved out. My dad worked two regular jobs and some odd jobs then a there, those odd jobs being some work for the mob in our neighborhood. When my twin brother and I were old enough we started to run errands for them. Delivering money, packages, and letters for whoever needed them. It was enough to help our dad pay the bills and we really didn't mind. It was the norm for us.

That was until my brother was killed.

Shot dead in the middle of the sidewalk walking home from school. It was a drive-by and they had mistaken him for someone else. We had just turned 15.

My dad took me and my younger sister and all the money we had and moved to the outskirts of the city. That was about 8 years ago.

It's hard to lose a sibling but it's a different pain to lose a twin. For the first few years, I didn't feel like myself, I still don't but I've gotten better. The grievance isn't as strong, and the pain doesn't hurt as much, but the loneliness is still there.

But I kept moving.

I always do.

By the time I finally fall asleep it's around 4 pm in the afternoon but I don't sleep for long. I wake up about two hours later. I look around for my phone for a bit before I find it under one of the cushions of my couch. I unlock it to find several messages waiting for me. Three from Chez and one from Oz. He texts me every day or so to check up on me but every time I'm still slightly shocked to see a message from him

Cheeze: hru?

The topic moves on.

Cheeze: are u fucking mr boss man? Cheese: wait are you sleeping?

Fuck hell.

Me: …not anymore Me: go away!

The answer I receive is instantaneous.

Cheeze: so thats a yes…lol! Cheeze: he good in bed or???

Me: i am not fucking mr boss man Me: why would you even think that?

My phone buzzes again.

Cheeze: i saw you go into his office Cheeze: is it considered a office? Cheeze: it don't got a door dawg…

I genuinely need new fucking friends. Actually, just a “friend” because Chez is my only friend.

I am not lonely…

I am not lying…

I don't even want to give her the satisfaction of a reply, but I'm so bored I end up replying anyway.

Me: it's a private room. Me: he has an office with a door in the 44. Me: this doesn't mean im fucking him

I decide to ignore the new messages Chez sends, instead going to look at Oz's message.

Oz: Are you up? You got time for an early dinner?

What do I even say to this? I know Oz isn't the typical boss but it's not like I can out with him.

Wait is this a date? By definition, sure. In my mind, maybe, though he could just consider this as him checking up on me.

Me: I wouldn't call 6 pm an early dinner

Oz is typing…

Oz: It is if you sleep through the day!

Well, that was quick.

I don't date anyone, I don't meet anyone, and I practically don't speak to anyone beyond what was necessary. I only ever go out with Chez if I'm feeling up to it. I'm not really a people person. But this is completely different. It wouldn't really mean anything if this was a date. It could be like a friend date, like the ones I have with Chez.

Am I even friends with Oz? I'm pretty sure I am. We've been talking more during my shifts, I've even been making him some new drinks for him to test. We even played cards together!

We're definitely friends. Totally!

Me: Sure why not :)

I stare at the screen, waiting for the three dot-dot-dots designating a response.

I'm nervous.

Oz: I'll pick you up Oz: Think you can be ready in about 30 minutes?

Wait what?

Me: U KNOW WHERE I LIVE?!?!?!

A new text bubble forms, only to disappear. It pops up again.

Oz: You should know better

Me: wut does that even mean

Oz: See you in 30

He's going to drive me fucking insane.

---

I get up to open the door 30 minutes later when there's a knock on the door. I open it to find Oz leaning against the right side of my door, his arm above my head and sweat running down his brow. He looks exhausted and like he's in pain.

“Are you okay?”

“Can I sit?” He rasps out, not answering my question.

“Yeah, of course.” I say as I step out of the way.

He moves past me, making a beeline to the couch closet from us, and his limp is more obvious. He takes a seat and leans back into my couch. I don't know what to do so I just stand there and watch him. Luckily Oz speaks for me.

“Your elevator is out,” He pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes, and sighs. “Had to walk up 3 flights of stairs. I just need a minute to rest.”

“Shit sorry, I thought you would call me to come down,” I say, moving towards him, “If I knew you were coming up I woulda told you the elevator on this side was out.”

He only grunts.

“I've got some painkillers if you want them.”

"Hmm?"

“For your leg. I'm assuming that's the problem.”

He opens his eyes again and turns his head to look at me. He looks surprised that I even offered. It kind of makes me sad.

“Yeah I would appreciate that.” he mumbles.

When I get back with the painkillers and a bottle of water, he's leaning forward on his knee and his bad leg stretched out in front of him. He looks lost in thought and doesn't hear me the first time I call him.

“Here you go Oz.”

He smiles.

“Thank you doll.”

He has a beautiful smile.

I know Oz isn't considered attractive by societal views. He's an old heavyset guy riddled with scars that has a limp, not your average-looking Joe. Yet I personally think he's nice to look at. Scars are something endearing to me, they tell a story visually. They are proof of a life of hard graft, pain, and strong will.

Plus bigger guys are more my style anyway.

I wouldn't say I'm in love, definitely not that, but over the past few weeks of talking to him and being in his presence, I would say I have a pretty decent crush on him. He's just really interesting to me. He's a mystery I want to solve and immerse myself in. I find that most days my mind wanders to the thought of him, thinking of the things he could possibly be doing. Counting cash, smoking a cigar, or beating the shit out of someone. I'm not blind to the things that Oz gets up to and he's made that distinctly clear since we've started talking.

Yet I'm drawn to this dangerous, unattainable man in a way that's completely indescribable.

I know I shouldn't be getting as close as I am to him but I can't help it. I'm fucking lonely and I can tell he his too. We both need a real friend.

No harm in it.

“Why did you want to go to dinner?” I ask, trying to refocus on actually talking to Oz rather than staring at him.

“Why? Not interested in a free meal before work?” he chuckles.

I click my tongue, “I didn't say that, I was just curious is all.”

“I needed to get out, so why not get out with someone that I can keep a genuine conversation with.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“What do you mean nuh-uh?

"Me? Keep a conversation? You're real funny Oz.”

“You don't think ya can?” he's laughing again, the pain that was once on his face now residing.

“It's more of me just answering your questions, you're the one that keeps it going.”

“Well I like your answers girlie.”

I smile, small and coy.

“Glad you think so, Oz.”

His mouth quirks, and stretches his bad ankle a few times before standing up from the couch.

“We should get going.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you in the mood for?”

“I don't know, I assumed you had someplace in mind,” I say standing next to him, “What do you want?”

He chuckles, “I'll pretty much eat anything.”

My lips turn into a soft small smile, “How 'bout Mexican?”

He smiles and nods.

---

I hadn't noticed what Oz was wearing when he first came by, more so worried about him, but now that we're walking into the restaurant, I take the time to really look him over. He's wearing a fine suit, black pants and a shirt so dark it seems to swallow the light around it, and a red jacket so rich I've never seen it before. He tops it off with a white tie.

He looks handsome.

Me, on the other hand, I looked raggedy. I'm wearing a pair of dark blue wide-leg pants, a cropped black sweater with a white and red flannel over it, and a pair of old Doc Martens.

My favorite dirty boots by the way.

I should've known that Oz wouldn't take us somewhere more casual. We're at this place called Javier's Cantina. It's definitely out of my price range, the place is covered in beautiful dark brown wood and tan stone walls. High ceilings with long lanterns and ceiling fans hanging from them, filling the room with low yellowish light. It was beautiful.

“Wow.'' is all I can muster.

“Like it?”

“Yeah! This place is amazing, never been anywhere this nice.”

“I'm glad you like it sweetheart.” he chuckles as a waiter leads us to a booth.

When we get to the table Oz waits for me to sit before he settles in on the other side of the booth. It's a little bit of a squeeze for him and I can't help but look at the paunch of his gut that pushes into the table. He sucks in before readingjusting himself. There's a hint of a blush on the top of his hears and I can't help but feel bad for the slight look of discomfort on his face.

I smile to reassure him, “We got in pretty quickly…did you threaten someone?” I tease.

“Nah, just called in a favor from an old friend.” the change of direction seemed to help.

“Let me guess. A friend of a friend of a friend?”

He laughs and folds his arms over his stomach, “You just think you're hot shit, don't ya?”

“Yeah, actually, I do.”

“At least you're honest about it.”

"Of course! I would never lie to you Oz.” I say in mock offense.

He snorts, his mouth pulling into a brief, sideways smile.

The two of us fall into a companionable silence as we look over the menu. I ended up ordering a small platter of mixed enchiladas while Oz ordered a sizable steak with veggies and a bottle of wine for us to share. We made short work of the wine as I chatted about work, mostly ranting about the annoying assholes that grace the club and how my landlord wouldn't come to fix my damn dishwasher.

I had a pleasant little buzz but it appeared Oz was able to hold his drink better than me. That was okay though, as he continued to let me rant freely.

“The asshole had the audacity to look surprised when one of the twins kicked him out.”

“You seemed to handle it pretty well though.”

“Had to,” I pause, raising my eyebrows slightly, “Wouldn't want to get fired by you, Mr. Boss Man.”

“Hmm, I wouldn't fire you, you're the best bartender I've had in a long while.”

There's a long pause, before “It is…plus if I got rid of you, who else would I have to talk to?”

“You've got a club full of people to talk to every night.”

“That's true but I like talking to you the most,” he says.

I stare at him.

“Are we friends?”

He stares back and I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck raise and my hands becoming clammy.

But then I notice something, he's just as surprised by the sudden question as I am.

“Yeah - uh - at least I think we are.

“Good, I like being your friend Oz.”