#anyways! this has been a long time coming. the positives abt social media have been starting to stop outweighing the negatives for me

[filmnoirsbian]

[mandaloriangf]

hey if you watch taylor swift's documentary miss americana, she talks a lot about how she was always praised when she was younger for being the "ideal celebrity" because she never brought up politics or anything. she was also influenced by her childhood heroes, the dixie chicks, being blacklisted completely when they criticized bush, and she was terrified of the same thing happening to her. she was under a lot of pressure from the media to be "a good girl" and stay quiet (1/?)

her first time speaking up politically was during the 2018 midterms, where she openly supported one candidate over another and encouraged people to register to vote, which increased voter registration by a huge amount. she made the post because the other candidate was openly homophobic, racist and misogynist, and she couldn't handle not speaking up. there's a scene in the documentary where her dad, and a bunch of her producers, record label, etc. are strongly telling her not to make the post (2)

but she says she has to go through with it and argues about it with them. they're worried she could lose a lot of fans and that it could be a major safety issue for her (since she already has huge issues with people breaking into her houses or stalking her). she answers that the candidate she is opposing wants to repeal protections for women against stalking and abuse and stuff like that, and that she has to take a stand. (3/?)

with 'you need to calm down' she was criticized a lot for being 'performative' but the reason she did it is she thought she had already been pretty open about being accepting of the lgbtq+ community, but her really good friend todrick hall was TERRIFIED to come out to her because he didn't know what her reaction would be, and she realized she needed to make a bigger statement if one of her close friends was completely unaware of her position on the matter. (4/?)

todrick helped her direct the music video, and she asked a lot of members of the lgbtq+ community if what she was doing was ok, and asked for their opinions on the song and music video to make sure she was being an ally and not overstepping. she also got as many lgbtq+ people in the music video as possible, purposefully collabed with brendan urie and spotlighted lesser known lgbtq+ artists. she also hand selected the drag queens in the music video and they were all shocked she knew who they were

anyways I know you don't like taylor and I'm not trying change that or excuse her actions - she definitely could have done more, sooner. I'm just trying to explain why she didn't speak up sooner and why she realized she had to. on social media, she's also been taking care to spotlight lesser known female poc and lgbtq+ artists that she loves and has really just been making an effort to be an ally in every way possible. she's definitely not perfect, but she's trying! (last one I swear lol)

She’s never claimed to be an activist & imo that’s an odd expectation to put on her. she’s a musician first and occasionally talks about politics on the side just like most celebrities? Not saying she’s above criticism but she faces uncommonly intense scrutiny compared to other people at her level of fame. People make absurd claims abt her with NO evidence and it becomes gospel among people who hated her to begin with. I’m not trying to be rude but the biases against her deserve critical thought

for the record im coming at this as a former swiftie, so this is not me irrationally hating on her

i haven’t seen the documentary since i dont have netflix and also haven’t been a fan in a long time, but i have seen the scene you talked about since it was going around on twitter months ago. the general consensus was that it was highly staged (most likely, given the nature of the documentary) and also dripping with privilege. 

my issue with her isn’t that she was unproblematic but silent, but that she was notoriously problematic AND silent. i’d argue that the first time she really became political was in 2014 when she began to embrace feminism coincidentally as the 1989 era began, but the problem was that she still didnt seem to grasp what it actually was, given that she paraded around a group of women she stopped hanging out with like a year later and used them to tear down katy perry in the bad blood video. 

like, i understand her being young and afraid to stand up for something when her career was first beginning. but after years and years and years, especially by the time she was willing to stand up to misogynistic men in 2014 and beyond, she still didn’t really do much else, you know? and a lot of it always seemed to center around her. 

but anyway, with you need to calm down, todd in the shadows made an excellent video about it here. maybe im biased because im critical of her work regardless, but as a bi woman, i found the song and video insulting and condescending. shade never made anybody less gay is easily one of her worst if not the worst line she’s ever written. she conflates her internet haters with violent homophobes and then ends the video with her ending the feud with katy yet it was released during pride and meant to be some sort of anthem when born this way came out in 2011 and, while undeniably flawed, did a much better job of getting the point across. taylor’s contemporaries have been saying the same stuff, but like, 10+ years earlier.

i guess for me, im just really tired of people praising her for doing this that others have done for much, much longer. im fine with her making a post like she did for the midterms, it felt genuine! but other stuff like you need to calm down comes off as patronizing and that scene from the documentary feels like it tries to position her as this almost like katniss figure which is just....tone deaf considering people like the ferguson protesters have been murdered for years. but thats all just me.

[ice-cream-under-stars]

Lost and Found (Jumin Han x Mc)

Chapter 1 (1,877 words)

Description: If black cats were a negative omen, did that mean white cats were a positive one? Of course, Mc never believed the superstitions revolving around cats, but it was a fleeting thought that had crossed her mind as she found herself mysteriously joining an organization which involved the owner of that equally mysterious white cat. Mc didn’t quite know the odds, but she knew they were low. However, she wasn’t sure if she believed in coincidence either...

Author’s note: Heya! I’m not very far into this (only in the middle of chapter three) and i have a very loose picture of where this is going so I’m not sure how long this fic will last. Anyways, for now, here’s chapter one! I usually regret posting my fan fictions later on but lets hope that doesn’t happen with this one hehe. 

This fic is sort of an au. It still loosely follows the og Mystic Messenger timeline, with some changes. One being that I’m going to slow down the flow of things. That way Jumin and Mc will have more time to develop feelings for each other. So i guess you could call this slow burn?? Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and if there are any grammatical errors, sorry!

Next chapter

Chapter 1

Meow! Mc made her way to the door of her apartment building. Meow! Before she could enter, her phone began to buzz in her pocket. Meow! She furrowed her brow and looked around. No cat in sight. After a shrug, she proceeded to read the text message she had just received. Meow! 

“What the—” Spinning her head around once more, Mc spotted a white Persian cat primly sitting not more than ten feet away. “Hey, kitty!” she cooed, kneeling down and holding out her hand. “Come here, baby.” The feline took her time, zigzagging toward Mc. She warily sniffed the hand offered before rubbing her face on it and purring. “Aww you’re just a sweetie. What you doing out here all alone, hm?” Of course, the response was purring. Mc scanned her surroundings again, only to find the street void of people. She returned her attention to the fluffy fur-ball, who was now on her back, playfully kicking and biting Mc’s hand. “I wonder how long you’ve been out here,” she mused. “Not long, I’m guessing.” Her coat was still relatively pristine. Mc proceeded to scoop up the cat and enter her apartment building.

Once inside her unit, she put the Persian down and made her way to the kitchen. Grabbing a chair, she placed it under an array of cabinets, moving aside the spices to grab the can of cat food in the back. Glancing at the can, Mc felt a small wave of sadness wash over her. She demounted from the chair and retrieved a tin bowl that hadn’t been used for a month now. After she dished up a few scoops, she placed it on the floor and waited for the feline to eat. She didn’t. Well, not at first. She sat there a moment, staring at it, then at Mc. “Go on.” Mc scratched the cat’s head and gradually ran her fingers down its back. That is when she dove into the meat; however, the moment Mc stopped, her (apparent) master chirped a series of short mews. Mc smiled. “Ah, so you won’t eat unless you’re pampered while doing so? Spoiled much?” But, not being able to resist that cute furry face, she obliged.

Next, Mc showed her new guest where the litter box was before plopping herself and the cat on the bed, both falling fast asleep.

The following morning, Mc asked around the area to see if they owned a white Persian cat, and showed them a picture. No luck. She knew it wouldn’t be that simple, seeing as she had never seen the cat before. 

  Thirty minutes passed before she returned to her apartment. She noticed the food she had left out before leaving that morning was licked clean out of the bowl, and it’s devourer lounging on the bed, bathing herself. “Oh, so now you’ll eat without me petting you?” Mc retorted, feigning annoyance.

After eating her own breakfast and taking a shower, she heard a knock on her apartment door. “You have a key, you can open it yourself!” she lazily shouted from atop her mattress. There was some fumbling before a woman entered. She had cropped hair that looked like milk chocolate and smooth light-brown skin.

“Well, excuse me for wanting to be polite!”

“Sav, our friendship is way past politeness.” Savannah collapsed onto the bed beside Mc and simply shrugged.

“Hey! Why is there a ton of fur on your comforter?!” Mc tore her gaze away from her phone.

“Uh so I sort of picked up a cat last night.”

“Wait, wha—?! Where is it? You got over Minnie already? I thought you said—“

“No, no, no! She found me last night and she was alone and I couldn’t leave her so I’m just letting her stay here until I find the owner.” As if she had been summoned, the feline in question hopped onto the bed and curled up next to Mc, completely ignoring Savannah. She rolled her eyes,

“Typical cat. So—,” a yawn interrupted her, “how do you plan to find this mystery owner? How do you even know she had an owner? Or what if the owner was being abusive, so the cat ran away.”

“Uh, that’s definitely not the case. Jeez, Sav, this isn’t some tragic pet movie.”

“But how do you know that for sure, hmm? For all you now, you could be trying to return her to the hell she just escaped!”

“Look at her coat. It’s extremely healthy. Look at it. She’s clearly groomed regularly and gets the best food. No one who cares about their cat wouldn’t abuse their cat.”

“Eh, wasn’t that a double negative?” Sav interjected. Mc put her foot on her friend’s head.

“The point is that I need to find the owner. They’re probably worried sick. Like— just imagine if the owner was a little girl. Hm? Sav, would you want some twelve year old girl to be crying and worried sick about their dear lost kitty cat?” Sav sighed exasperatedly.

“Fine,” she groaned. “So, what are you doing to find this twelve year old girl?”

“Well I already checked most of the other units in this building, and I just posted a pic on Instagram and Tumblr asking if anyone had lost a cat that looked like this one.”

“And?”

“Well, I just posted it. Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have tons of followers like you who see my stuff instantly.”

“O—kay... so what do you plan on doing in the meantime?” Mc sat up.

“I guess I’ll continue to ask around locally. Wanna join me?”

“Ehhh what’s in it for me? A good conscience knowing I just saved a twelve year old girl from the depths of despair?”

“Well, that, and I’ll buy you a Starbucks.” Sav bolted up.

“Deal!”

Their inquiry proved to be unfruitful. That day, which had previously been planned out as a day they would hang out together before Savannah had to leave the city for a shoot, was spent up almost entirely looking for the owner of the mysterious Persian. It was four in the afternoon when Sav began to complain. Honestly, it surprised Mc that she managed to last that long.

“This is not how I imagined today was gonna go.”

“Me neither,” Mc mumbled. “How about we grab some dinner? Or do you need to head back and pack?”

“Who do you take me for? I’m already packed.”

“Alright, let’s get some dinner then, Miss proactive.”

The next day also unearthed no evidence as to who owned the cat. Mc decided to spend the day inside watching Netflix and YouTube, but kept a wary eye on her social media sites. She had made multiple posts, but the few replies she had gotten were along the lines of “Aw, cute! Hope you find the owner.”

The weekend ended. Mc had begun to think that she would have to keep her new feline friend until, on Monday morning, she woke to find that Savannah had called her three times and texted her five times. “Call me.” “Mc wake up!” “Hey its abt the cat.” “Call mehhh.” “Hellooo?” Mc bolted upright and dialed her friend.

“Finally! Don’t you have work today?!”

“Never mind that! What’s this about the cat?”

“Right, right. So you know how you said it could be owned by a twelve year old girl? Turns out she’s a twenty-seven year old man.”

“Wait, what? How do—”

“And guess who that is?”

“Uh—”

“Ju-min Ha-n!” Silence ensued. “Yo— please tell me you know who that is.”

“Uh, well—” An exasperated sigh came from the other side of the phone.

“Seriously, Mc, how do you live in the same city as the corporate heir to one of the most famous companies in South Korea and not even know who he is?!”

“What?! If he’s as important as you say he is, how the heck does his cat end up on the streets? Are you sure? How do you know she’s his?”

“I saw an online news article. Can you believe he had a news article put up about his missing cat? Usually people just post papers around saying ‘MISSING CAT.’” Mc replied thoughtfully,

“He obviously cares for her a lot.” Mc paused. “I can relate.”

“Anyways, he said he’d reward anyone who found her and returned her to him unharmed. The amount is uh... steep.” Mc brushed passed her friend’s statement.

“Send me the link to the article.”

“I cant. The photographer is here and ready to begin the shoot. Sorry! Just look up ‘Jumin Han, cat’ and you’ll get plenty of results. Talk later!”

Savannah wasn’t lying. There was more than just one article covering the topic. Mc clicked into the top website and scrolled down to the contact information. There was a phone number and an email address. Mc decided to dial the number right away. She hadn’t truly thought about it, as she was not apart of the high class world, but she subconsciously was expecting Mr. Han himself to pick up. She was startled when a female’s voice sounded on the other end.

“Hello, this is Chief Assistant Kang speaking.”

“O-oh... um... hello.” Her surprise was evident in her tone, but fortunately, the woman seemed to not notice or care.

“Do you know the whereabouts of the feline belonging to Mr. Jumin Han?” So formal. Mc could detect the weariness in the voice. In fact, the statement was monotone, as if the speaker had relayed it more than a million times that day.

“Hello? Miss, if this is a prank call I will hang up.”

“No! Please don’t hang up!” Mc sighed and continued. “I think I have Mr. Han’s cat.”

“‘Think’ or ‘know’?” She still didn’t show any type of surprise or urgency in her voice. This chick’s probably heard a lot of claims of having or seeing the white Persian; what with that reward, Mc mused.

“I’m pretty sure. I’d say she looks the same as the pictures in the ads. And her demeanor and coat scream ‘pampered.’” The woman’s voice grew more attentive.

“And where is the cat now?”

“Here with me at my apartment. I found her wandering near my apartment building and after she took a liking to me I took her in.”

“And how long as she been with you?”

“Since Friday night. I would have contacted you sooner but I had zero clue who she belonged to.”

“Could you provide any proof that you in fact do possess my employer’s cat?”

“I can send you a photo I took.”

“That will do. Send it to the email address on the website you got this number from. Goodbye.” Click.

Mc did as instructed. After ten minutes lapsed, she received a reply. It’s contents were along the lines of: 

“Mr. Han has identified the cat in the photo as his own. As soon as possible, please, bring her, safely and comfortably, to—” and an address was added. Mc glanced at the time. It was almost 5 p.m. and that meant rush hour. Taxis would be difficult to come by; but when the C&R corporate heir’s cat was in need of returning to her owner, how could one refuse?

[clarz-cc-archive]

answered June 6, 2020

Q: Hello I've been observing the discussion that you have going on here and I just wanted to say thank you. I really appreciate how you always try to include different points of view and sometimes even play "the advocate of the devil". But i also wanted to ask something. Having all these discussions and stuff don't you feel that as humans we will never agree and will always be fighting about things? Bc that's how i feel lately. What is not hurtful to one group of people will be hurtful to others and there's also many cultural aspects to consider in everything. And it's not even about the real world stuff like racism homofobia etc but like online and fandom stuff etc. If we fight on such a trivial level how can we expect to be united in the real world. For example when BTS were having the concert in Ryadh there was this project of emailing bh bc supposedly the government of the country was violating human rights because of religious beliefs etc but then army that are actually Muslim were hurt by it and saying that that's not true. There were many points to that discussion many feeling hurt and i was like what's the truth?? Am i making judgements based on my culture that are inconsiderate to others circumstances? How do i know? Do i even have the right to have an opinion on this? And it's like that with pretty much everything on Twitter which makes me think "does this even equate to anything in real life?". I've been seeing twitter communists and socialists yelling about how capitalism is wrong and i freaking agree. However, at the same time i live in a country that did experience communism and that is still recovering from the communistic rule (and is right now on socialistic journey but on the right wing of things 🤦‍♀️) I feel like many people yelling about those topics do it to be cool and edgy but when it comes to truly think about it they come up with Utopias that can also be dangerous in many aspects. Anyway. I feel like I'm ranting without topic 🤦‍♀️ what i mean to say is that world is global with social media, trade and stuff but we as people often aren't. We are deeply rooted in our cultures that are so different in regards to religions, traditions and experiences. And considering that, lately i feel like no matter what we do there's always will be someone hurt and that makes me feel powerless. Is this normal? And I also know that I'm speaking from the place of privilege too in comparison to many other positions and that's another point in many discussions ...

A: all i can say is "yeah." YEAH!! i'm abt to get real philosophical here, but allow me to go on what appears to be a tangent for a second: even though i knew it was wrong intellectually, i thought for a long time that there was going to be some hypothetical point in my life where i'd be Okay, like that eventually i would get old enough that i'd reach a life stage where i mostly knew what to do, and where i felt competent, and where i trusted myself. then i turned 30 and felt absolutely NO CLOSER to that hypothetical point, and it was this moment for me of realizing like "oh. no one knows what they're doing, and no one has the answers, and i'm never gonna have them either." life is so complicated, and the world is so complicated, and i think for me getting older has just been this continuous process of realizing just how complicated it is, in ways that i never expected it to be, and i'm sure i'm gonna keep realizing it and that i know absolutely NOTHING yet! in my view, all of life is just about TRYING. everything looks hopeless, and we feel doomed to failure, and we WILL fail, spectacularly and frequently, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't TRY to make things better, and hope that maybe, as a species, we are crawling very slowly toward a future that is even marginally better than the past.

the way i see it, there are people who see how complicated life is and they react by doubling down, by shutting out everything that might make their world more complicated and just pretending that everything is fine and they know they're right; there are people who see those complications, feel hopeless, and give up and stop trying; and there are people who see the complications, probably still feel hopeless in the face of them, and yet choose to get up and be fucking hopeful anyway, because fuck that. one of my favorite poems is by jack gilbert, and in it he says "We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of this world." everything SUCKS and everything is COMPLICATED, but recognizing and confronting those complications is BRAVE and RADICAL and CHOOSING to find gladness and joy where we can in the face of the overwhelming shittiness of the universe is stubborn and nonsensical and also so necessary. we can TRY to have the conversations, and try to do the work, and try to hope for something better, and be glad anyway. i have no idea if i answered your question. but i think you're doing GREAT!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

✨how did you get into MK? what position do u usually sleep in? How often do you spend on a piece of art that you take from sketch to colored? What are your favorite snack foods? Do you get your hair cut every 6 weeks and do you stick with the same look?✨

hmm mk is a bit of an anomaly for sure….even tho ive been sifting around webcomics for abt a decade now, i really only ever am keeping up w a handful and rarely actually pick up any new ones. i’m the same way w like, all other forms of media, like shows and music and stuff…its not like even me being all too critically picky, coz i can hardly ever convince myself to check out shit i know i do/will like. but anyways i suppose it was a couple yrs ago and me freezing my ass off in a barely-insulated terrible expensive apartment while dying of depression & it was the middle of the night & i wasnt tired, and sometimes i reread a comic coz i realize ive completely lost track of the plot or characters or something…so i was doing that and there was a guest comic by the artist for mk & i was like, well you know, thats cute and funny and i like how they draw, i’ll just put this in a separate tab and maybe come back to look at their comic for once in my life b/c its not like i hve anything better to do at like 4am. so i finished my reread and figured i’d check out at least a bit of mk & when it drops kip on you right off it took me like 2.5 pgs to he like “well so………he’s gay right? and a nerd?” and so then i was like, obviously i have to follow through on this Gay Lead. b/c i mean, you never really go into anything assuming that anybody will actually get to be Not Straight, no matter how obvious it seems b/c you can’t trust anyone. so even though its right there and makes no sense for him to be straight i was still like going along trying to keep my hopes down even tho there’s no other interpretation….even when the surprise came that he has a beautiful Ex Boyf & i had like a heart attack b/c that far along i was already like “woops i also love him” i was still like trying to come at it from some other angle like…… Maybe This Is Just… Um….. i dont remember but i was like ok but seriously this Has to be an ex right? i mean my god. anyway by that point i was also deeply invested in the fact that kip is v….v much many Char Types i love and xtreme relatable plus he’s flawless and deserves the best despite being doomed for the worst……. so anyways at that point it was like 7am & i was thrilled and yelling a bit about that sweet rare vindication of This Is All Gay Right and like gosh hope he gets kissed by like everybody…… and thats about how that went

oh god…… trying to find a sleeping position can be the worst a lot of the time. like, it changes up and i have to do the tossing and turning bit… sometimes its all huddled up and other times my body wants to be stretched out… im sabotaged by the whims of my body re its comfort tbh. like i’ll be fine in any position and then suddenly my limbs or hips or whatever decide they’re uncomfortable. the other week it was only sleeping on my stomach that was tolerable. i guess on avg i sleep on my side but theres no real standard position, i wish there was

phew i…honestly can rarely draw anything in a matter of less than hours. under 2 hours is shockingly rare. it depends on the day for sure, sometimes drawing comes more naturally, sometimes my focus is less terrible…. for a guess at whats average though, for like a usual drawing that i also add color to, i’d put it at maybe, 5-7 hrs? i’m awful at paying attention to when i start/stop something. and i have a lot of pauses in there b/c of the terrible focus bit. but usually i don’t do coloring thats too fancy so it only tends to add on a couple of hours to the lineart, which is helped along if i’m doing it digitally w how easy it is to erase stuff and not worry abt the sketch being too messy to clean up or whatever. sometimes i wish i could spend another eon on the coloring also, but you can spend just as much time on colors as the lineart and i like to do everything in one go too much for that really… plus just that i’m bad w colors and dont expect to ever be as good at them as with the lineart element of things. anyways tldr all you need to know is…i’m really slow :(

oh god snacks…. i love to eat anything really. i’ll make anything a snack or a meal or whatever. i like stuff like corn chips or just dry crackers… i like to eat cereal just plain… i’ll eat a box of corn chex any day. or a box of oreos probably in like one go. i am a fan of cookies and ice cream and everything. pretzel sticks are great too. fruit snacks are great… a few times ive just been in the mood to cut some like orange bell peppers into strips and eat that…carrots are amazing too… theres this cucumber/cream cheese dip that is…fantastic with chips. idk i like to eat most things

i actually used to tend to wait too long to get my haircut and put it off till it’d been like two months and was getting too long in the back and i hated it lol….. i know we’ve talked abt the Homophobia In The Salon how you have to try to wrangle the stylist into accepting that yes, you really want it that short, and keep them from trying to take it in their own direction. and i’m nervous enough w social stuff like that where i cant know what to say beforehand, and doubly nervous b/c of it being really stressful and exhausting for me to try to just like stick to what you actually want and explain this very simple cut to ppl who sometimes will act like they have no idea what you mean…and it would be triply difficult b/c back in the day i’d catch all this shit over having my hair as short as i wanted b/c my mom was having a whole internal shitstorm about me being a wholeass queer and so of course she was gonna flip out about how i look as if that will solve things for her. i always forget that i Was in fact abused for the ol “not seeming properly cishet” business. so the nervousness abt the haircut experience lingered!! but it helps that sometimes i’d find a really nice stylist who would be friendly and remember the general idea of the cut i liked, and i could stick with them and that was helpful. but for the past year i’ve really just been giving myself a continuous haircut myself w the occasional aid of a bathroom mirror, i’m not fancy. my Ideal Cut gradually got shorter and shorter over the years, w it now being maybe an inch and a half on top and shorter on the sides in that General Undercut format. i rly dont like much length on the back of the neck or by the ears lol…plus it doesnt help having glasses when your hair is getting too long. maybe it would be nice if i could someday dye it my favorite kind of blue, right. but in the meantime, as long as its short enough i’m good

[xurkitips]

On Conveying Personality Through Chatroom-style Dialogue

A friend of mine shared screenshots of a roleplay he was having via a Discord server, wherein the style was chatroom/texting based. Each character would have a different style of typing completely unique to their person. Though unfamiliar with all of them, I could see what their personalities were like

Like real human beings, a character very much so has a “voice”. I mean that both in the literal sense, through their manner of speaking and what they say, but also through their self expression, interests, and actions. This carries over into the digital realm in ways we may not even notice. Text messages may not be verbal, no, but there are ways to show inflection.

There are many, many ways to show meaning through text. Here are some that I’ve picked up and utilized with my own characters:

Sentence structure

all lowercase sentences VS Grammatically correct

Lowercase gives off the feeling of someone familiar with others or willing to become familiar. It lacks the tension of formal writing, complete with its capitalization and proper periods ending sentences, and feels very casual and approachable. It may also be a sign of someone who doesn’t care much about perfection, a lazy person, or an easy going individual. Seems like a lot of internet regulars prefer this kind of typing style.

“im dying

‘deafening horrorcore rap’ ok i listen to literal noise and idk what this even is”

Using a properly capitalized and punctuated style is very formal, like one would see in a book, an official email, etc. It’s more serious and stern than lowercase is and may imply an older, more mature person typing...or maybe just someone trapped on their phone at the mercy of autocorrect. 

"I am always happy to see you, even if you are not feeling your best.“

“It's nice here.

Quiet.”

There’s a certain respectful steadiness to it as well. It can be calming to read at times.

Punctuation VS Lack of punctuation

End-stopped lines come with both a pause and a bit of a pointed and direct feeling. It strengthens both lowercase and grammatically correct styles, but in different ways. In conjunction with “proper” writing, it’s less noticeable, merely giving the reader a moment’s pause. In conjunction with lowercase, especially if the one typing isn’t keen on using periods, it can come off as stern, serious, passive-aggressive, or angry.

“whatever.

it's less excruciating than it would be without it.”

Removal of punctuation is a different story. Typically just shown with lowercase, it leaves it with that casual feeling intact, or like one’s sentences are more like quick thoughts or questions. Removing them from grammatically correct sentences does ease off some of the tension, implying someone with a more neutral-positive tone while still being more mature. 

“I’m not terribly good with conversation”

And then there’s the run-on sentences from those who type small novels per response. Usually complete with multiple and’s. It’s a sign of nervousness, enthusiasm, or oftentimes a younger character...

“actually i don't know much about it i just happened to see something online and it's apparently only manufactured overseas exclusively for this one particular shop and they made the original design and initial product i guess”

Oof.

Proper spelling (or lack thereof)

The better the spelling, the more the likelihood of the person being older, calmer, or neutral. There’s also a sense of being well educated or careful about one’s typing. Perhaps a confident air may exude from what they say, too.

“Can you come help me for a moment?”

Those who make a lot of mistakes will simply confuse words for other words, forget apostrophes, or type too fast to notice things missing or in the wrong location. Some just don’t really care enough or are too tired to deal with it. Too much focus and people know what they mean anyway. Probably.

“i laug hso hard hes come runin

he thougt i aws dyin”

It can also happen in very emotional situations, in bouts of laughter, crying, rage, or when one is drowsy, medicated, or sick. It tends to stand out when one’s style is suddenly very, very different and tips others off to something being wrong.

Younger characters, especially kids, also make spelling mistakes all the time depending on their age, whether due to sounding out words or just in a hurry to reply.

Short sentence fragments, single words, and lengthy paragraphs

Sometimes people with rapid-fire thoughts, who are excited, busy, stressed, or angry, will take to quick and short responses (sometimes of many fragments in a row). These show a similar feeling as do lines of poetry. Stacking small fragments on top of one another adds emphasis. The reader has to read them one by one rather than as a straight sentence. On its own, the word or fragment stands out and becomes more important.

"well

yeah thats

what i was tryina do

but i mean”

I’ve seen it used used for storytelling from one person to another in larger chunks of things, quick responses, for poetic value, and in irritation or passive-aggressiveness.

In full sentence conversations sent in short bursts, it’s also allowing the reader pause to read each comment without it feeling like a novella. Though it can also feel like someone is obnoxious, rambling on and on as the notifications keep coming, or has a lot to talk about and keeps thinking of more.

Then there are those who type rather large responses all at once instead of hitting the enter key with every sentence:

"Whoever did it was quite thorough; either the power in that area of the lab was cut while we were distracted or they tampered with the security cameras, because that footage is missing. But, we have some theories now. It had to have been someone with direct access to the laboratory. I hesitate to place blame on any of my coworkers...they're all my trusted companions and friends! And yet...”

It’s concise and a solid, complete story in one spot. Could be someone who loves to talk, could be someone who didn’t want a response before they were done talking. It’s also commonly seen by middle-aged texters who want to say everything they can all at once.

Exclamation points and Question marks

Simple one here. Question mark for a question or confusion, exclamation point for emphasis or an exclamation. But when a person adds multiple to a sentence it can convey more of the person’s feelings; 

“are you okay??”

Here is someone who is very concerned. Multiple question marks can imply things such as worry, stress, disbelief, and shock. There’s a sense of hurry and tension. Perhaps the person on the other end is frightened, easily afraid, or tends to have an overwhelming reaction to things.

“oh!!! it’s nice to see you!!!”

"! 

!!! 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, multiple exclamation points convey much more friendlier, happier tones. Often such things as surprise, excitement, happiness, friendliness. Users typing !! as a punctuation (like I tend to do) may do it as an assurance or to show how thrilled they are to talk. Occasionally !!!! is tacked onto an angry statement to be more of a shout, but I see it less and less.

Chatspeak and Internet habits

Shortenings of words have been a regular thing for ages. It’s easy, convenient, and gets the point across quickly. But the internet has taken it to a new extreme, where sentences can be almost entirely compromised of them.

“wtf r u talkin abt?? gdi man idk wuts even happening rn”

A character wanting to be quick to respond, always on the ball, always involved, may be more likely to utilize and understand chatspeak. They’re the social butterfly of the group. It’s also a sign of a long-time internet lurker who’s aware of what the lingo is, and how to use it. A complete lack thereof points toward either an older user or someone who’s unused to social media.

The more memes, the harder someone is trying to fit in. Or maybe they’re easily amused or just absorbed things from their friends without thinking about it. The comedian of the group is going to know the best ways to use them.

Smilies and Emojis

:D D: :DDD // :3 3: >:3 :3c // :o :O O:<

These kinds of smilies have always struck me as the most friendly. Whether used in devious ways or with genuinely heartwarming intentions, the playful, lightheartedness of the user really shines through these. 

"not a bad way to spend a lazy day :D”

“it's also my birthday :3″

It’s got just the right vibe to punctuate a sentence that’ll leave the reader feeling that the person likely means no harm or wants to be friendly, positive, or encouraging. I’ve met a lot of people that use these and turn out to be very kind or considerate people.

:), ;), ((((: and related

A long time positive, friendly smiley. 

"You said you've known them a long time? I think they would understand. :)”

And yet these days I tend to associate it with passive aggressive statements, plotting, slyness, devious behavior, or anger. Older users may be inclined to use :) as a means to show their emotional state, but newer users seem more inclined to do the opposite. The more parentheses there are, the more upset the person, it seems.

“man don’t u love it when the power’s out in the middle of the night it’s just (((: really great thanks (((((:”

Then the ;) smiley comes off more specifically flirty and a bit playful. Doesn’t seem to change much there.

“if i find a good chance 2 hook u up ill do my best ;)”

XD

The bane of my teenage existence. It’s a more old school sign of laughter, rarely seen in today’s world due to falling out of favor and becoming associated with, “LOL Rawr XD Tacos I’m So Randoom,” culture. But time to time you do see it. Mostly with sarcasm but sometimes with genuine intentions.

“xDddddDDD

It was a good joke. XD”

A character using it genuinely comes off more playful, and to me, personally, as an older person who’s genuinely unaware of the associations with the smiley itself trying to show how they laughed without using LOL. 

Letter/Character smilies

Y’know, things like .w. and ._. or owo, where the letters or symbols make a face. These are fairly popular, it seems. I don’t like using them myself, but know a few who do use them.

"I'm sorry that they can be mean qmq”

It’s a different feel from the others. There’s something soft to it, almost a gentleness. When these or Japanese characters are used, there’s more whimsy. It’s cute and almost a bit feminine. It may convey an open person or give the impression that said person is easier to talk to.

Though honestly I can’t see uwu and owo as anything but heavily sarcastic. I’ll be honest with you.

Emojis

The first rule of Xurkitips club is that we don’t talk about Emoji Movie. Just putting that out there riiight now.

Used sparingly by most for fun and for emphasis. Characters may use them to be lighthearted, aesthetically, joke, or to make a conversation more flavorful. The use of emojis may determine a character’s personality; I find that characters who use hand emojis like 👌 are rather laid back, those who use 🙃 do it passive aggressively, and we all know what kind of person uses 🍆.

Then there’s what in common terms known as, “The DudeBro”:

[MFKNSTARBOI]: the thing i never undstood about hair is why people buy shampoo like regular soap not good enough for you LMAO 😂😂😂

[gostones]: .

[BIGDICKTOYOTA69]: what the fuck man

[ahogekun]: do... you not use shampoo

[MFKNSTARBOI]: aaaah you guys got sucked into big shampoo as well 😔

[MFKNSTARBOI]: When it comes to horses 🐎  the stars in the sky ✨ or just man to man no bullshit advice 👬 IM youre guy 😤😂

I think this one speaks for itself.

[sunnysidewrites]

Memorize and positive vibes💘💘💘

my bby i love u 💟💟💟💟

memorize: describe in detail the happiest day you’ve had this year.

(2017) honestly meeting my ults in person and creating this blog are tied! so i will explain both:

1. my boys b1a4 visited my city!!!! or the one closest near me, and it was amazing for so many reasons! typically my city isnt visited v often bc we get overshadowed by the other most known city in my state, and the fact that this was their actual 2nd visit to my city blew me away!!! they visited back in 2014 too but i dont think i would have been able to go anyways. i went w 2 of my closest friends n it was a such a blast!! i met this 1 girl from twitter n tht was cool LOL but it was more like she posted “hey guys im here at the venue come say hi to me!” so its not like we were mutuals, we just wanted to meet! it was a v v fun day despite waiting in the cold for several hours but it was sooo worth it!! when we got inside the venue, there was a cutoff starting at this one row n they said we could sit anywhere we wanted, so my friends n i snagged the front row seats asap LMAO and once more girls sat around us, we befriended a few and exchanged social media n stuff!! they were such lovely n amazing ppl, and i can happily guarantee u tht they will be all u meet in the bana fandom!! and ofc, when the actual concert started IT WAS LIT AS HELL!!!! (baro even used lit,,,, jfc save him) im still bitter as hell tht none of the members paid attention to my section except baro!!! so baro is the real mvp n hes now the only member in b1a4 whoops. im just kidding i still love my hubby jinyoung ofc but tht night baro was the only one who mattered LOL they wasted so many water bottles to get everyone wet ;) LOL IT DIDNT EVEN REACH WHERE I WAS BUT IT WAS STILL FUN!!! ok this got 2 long rip sorry i just get so excited :’(( they replayed their ending ment song 297492927 times n i still have pcd to this day. whenever i play good timing album, it makes me SUPER EMO!! anyways guys listen to “a lie” and u can then say u listened to gods

2. if u asked me in the beginning of 2017 if i wanted to make a blog, i would have flat out told u NO. and i did when i talked abt this w my friend. i was just so against the idea of managing a blog or regularly posting or just posting at all. she tried to coerce me but i was v against it! it was also amidst of my rock bottom times, so i didnt even wanna think abt running a blog or whatnot. i took a rlly long writing hiatus, but i wrote a lil in january and then took another hiatus n picked it up again in may. from may to july, i was writing more than usual, and i thought hmm,,,,,,, it wouldn’t be too bad to run a blog,,,,, right???? and it was on the night of wednesday, july 26, that i finally put an end to all the contemplation and spontaneously was like IMMA MAKE A WRITING BLOG. IMMA DO IT!!!! so thats how this blog came 2 be on july 26 @ 11pm and i posted my rules n shit when it was technically july 27 at like midnight or 1am. it was a rlly tough decision to make, but im rlly glad i did it in the end. sometimes this hellsite makes me wanna d*e but all the ppl ive interacted here, mutuals and anons, have been so wonderful n it always makes me happy whenever i think abt how much my life has changed since then. ive never gotten much feedback of my stories, save for maybe 2 or 3 ppl irl. when i uploaded that daycare helper!seungcheol, i was so convinced that it was just gonna be 20 notes max. when it reached 75 one day, i was like oH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. i actually have a shot!!! n when i posted vigilante!wonwoo, it BLEW TF UP. AND I WANTED TO CRY. i remember i was outside at tht time and my phone was just blowing up w notifs n i was gonna break down right then n there. it was so surreal to be hit w that much attention. n then all the mutuals came in later n thts when i rlly cried lmao anyways long story short, i don’t regret making this blog even tho sometimes it feels like crap, but i wouldnt have traded it for anything else

positive vibes: you’ve made it through another year! i’m so proud of you and my year wouldn’t have been the same without you

jane i freakn lov u so much thnk u cupcake :’(((( 💞💞💞💕💕💕💕

Send me more new year asks!

[liu-lang]

mental health & job stuff - tw: eating disorders, anxiety, sexual assault, self harm 

this week has been difficult. on tuesday and thursday, I saw my new therapist and psychiatrist respectively. 

the moment i saw my therapist’s office, i had reservations on whether she could relate to me. she was a white woman, perhaps in her 30s who was wearing one of those ... convertible skirts ?... you know the one where you can wear as a skirt with a foldable waist band thing tt also can be worn as a tube top dress. i just google’d convertible skirt and patanogia came up (white ppl who have the luxury of time and money to go camping in the summer brand). her office smelt like one of those autumn-scented candles. she had a chakra wall hanging / scroll thing. the appointment started off pretty open-ended. i think she was trying to give me ~space~ to open up so that the conversation flowed naturally. but i just felt kinda lost bc it took me months through 2 clinics and 3 intake appts to finally see her. @ tt point, i’m tired of hearing “so tell me why you’re here today” .... my scepticism increased exponentially  when she recommended practising yoga, being present and mindfulness training. honestly, idk why she works there ? bc she’s serving patients seeking treatment through the LA County Department of Mental Health. considering the issues they face and their lived experiences and socioeconomic status, i don’t think following a 10-min yoga lesson through an app (she seriously tried to recommend an app to me) is gonna make a difference. anyway, my next appt is in another 3 weeks. 

my psychiatrist is an older Filipino women, maybe in her 40s or 50s ... and the way she talks kinda reminds me of my mum (who is a big trigger for me). she asked lots of racially microaggressive questions before reading my file. really reminds me of how my mum exotifies my sisters and i for being mixed. i had to repeat details about my race, country i grew up and family structure a lot. she asked about my religious beliefs and i affirmed that i still identify as a muslim then she asked me if all muslim women have to go through female genital mutilation (there is a history of FGM in my family) ... and just, i can’t. her question came out more as a statement that she wanted me to confirm. i had to explain how it’s more of a mix of sociocultural factors than religious practise, tt not every muslim woman is subjected to it and there is an international response to educate these communities on its harmful effects. 

she also brought up the sexual assault tt happened when i was in high school. i alr felt distrustful and uncomfortable @ tt point ... i couldn’t make myself refer to him as a paedophile. she asked me who was this man and i just like... lost for words ? felt too ashamed ? ... i’m really stuck on how i couldn’t just refer to him for what he was. i guess i do have lots of lingering issues feeling like i am to blame for what happened. we also ran into some issues with my rx. my current pcp didn’t recommend me for my usual annual cardiology visit bc she believes i’ve been stable for a long enough time. but my psychiatrist strongly prefers if i can get an ECG. she did give me a rx for 10 mg lexapro though so... we’ll see how tt goes. i decided to finally seek medication because of my anxiety at work. i didn’t want it to affect my job performance. they also took my vitals ... the usual stuff, my blood pressure is low and i’m underweight. i need to go back for blood work on tuesday. 

speaking of job performance ... i went to a career fair at my alma mater. i had a federal work study position at the career development center as a communications assistant (basically a combo of outreach, distribution, marketing, social media management, data anallytics) so it was different to be on the other side of things. one of the employers present contacted me for an interview. the interview was successful and they extended me an offer. then they gave me the runaround for 2 weeks and i received an email yesterday rescinding the job offer. needless to say, i was blindsided. here’s the time line of events

10/19 thursday - attended job fair

10/20 friday - received a call to schedule an interview then an email confirmation for interview

10/24 tuesday - went in for interview (had to move my psychiatrist appt which essentially changed my psychiatrist so ... idk if i could have had a better fit. i’m miffed abt this.)

10/25 wednesday - phone call from HR offering me the position, they told me i could have until 10/30 to make a decision. they also said they wanted a 11/06 start date if possible. i told them i had to give 2 weeks notice at my current employer as proper protocol

10/27 friday - i rang HR and left a voicemail indicating i’d be interested and wanted to discuss benefits etc 

10/30 monday - i rang HR again and told them i had left them a message on friday and would love to hear back from them soon. no phone call back. in the afternoon, i sent an email to the recruiter i originally handed my resume to letting him know i’ve been unsuccessful in reaching the HR person and would appreciate an update. he rang me back assuring me the offer was still on the table and they would gladly have me and he would email me an official offer by the end of day, also stressed 11/06 start date and i again repeated the 2 weeks notice spiel and could HR send me a summary of the benefits 

11/01 wednesday - i ring HR and finally speak to the HR person. she didn’t receive any of my messages and the recruiter didn’t inform her of what i requested. she said she usually is not in the office mondays and fridays. she sounds in a hurry and is in the middle of doing payroll. i keep it short and express interest in accepting the offer. could i have summary of the health insurance plan and possibly negotiate a slightly higher salary ? she agrees to send me a official written offer by the end of the day or tomorrow. again they emphasise 11/06 start date... i’m like really confused but just repeat that i would love to start asap but also what about 2 weeks notice

11/02 thursday - i receive an email from HR rescinding the job offer with the explanation they had already filled in all the positions they were recruiting for. 

this post is getting super long. there were red flags abt this company from the beginning but i was holding out hope bc surely a university would have thoroughly vetted the employers they invite to a career fair. also bc i worked for the CDC and knew these employers & established a rapport through my position there. i’m still trying to process everything. i’m mostly crushed at the realisation tt i will have to work another black friday in retail. i would hear things abt ppl not being able to work bc of mental health issues. i nvr discredited them but i also didn’t really have a concept of it ? now i have a lived experience. it is tortuous having to think of slogging through another holiday season when i was so close to leaving. i had a co-worker who just left and we were congratulating each other on finally getting out. it feels so defeating and depressing to still be stuck / left behind. this feels so much worse than an outright rejection. added onto normal anxiety associated w/ the recent grad job hunt, now i’m catastrophising what if this happens with another potential employer ? i keep wondering about the reasons why they rescinded ? maybe i shouldn’t have negotiated ? maybe i should have just accepted when they rang - i didn’t have any other offers on the table... maybe i tried to get in touch with them too much ? maybe i didn’t pass the background check ? maybe something went wrong w/ my references ? ...even though they kept insisting on like an impossible start date plus never sending me an official offer therefore preventing me from resigning and agreeing to their start date. i kinda want to have a meeting with my ex boss to let her know about my experience and maybe get advice on um... being aware of warning signs to prevent this from happening again ? but i don’t want it to sound like i’m blaming the university for bringing on shady companies ... i know my experience is not reflective of everyone else’s. it’s hard not to internalise this and feel like there is something wrong with me. another thing is ... i have like no written evidence of everything in between so on email it just looks like i had an interview and then they rejected me. and my phone calls which they nvr answered looks like i was the one hounding them when ... understandably i wanted to move the hiring process along bc they were adamant on the 11/06 start date. i also needed the time to make the very big financial decision of buying a fucking car in order to get to work (the office is in orange county which has 0 convenient transport options esp. going btwn LA and orange counties) 

i’m really anxious abt having more allergic reactions at work - especially bc the managers now know. i have an appt with an allergist but it’s not until january. idk if my skin can survive. i can hide it when it’s on my body but lately it’s been flaring up on my hands - which i use to touch merchandise, handle money, stock shelves, build displays ... just lots of touching and hand contact with possible allergens. i cried in the car after work yesterday and have been battling thoughts of self harm since wednesday. sigh... i’ll have to call this afternoon asking for next week’s work schedule at the store. tt familiar feeling of being overwhelmed and wanting everything to stop is coming back. 

[mctteoisms]

hi all !  my name’s theye and i’m 19 & from pst ; there’s nothing rlly interesting abt me to put here other than the fact that i lowkey got fake nails yesterday and fam this shit is hard to type with !!  i ... do truly + deeply love my boy teo so i hope u do to !! he has a stats page that’s on the lowkey an in progress bio , u can find that HERE,  + if you’d like to plot give us a like or an im !  seriously anything u want just smack it down like “bih! i want this!” and i’ll give it to u tbh . and ya , this is .... crazy long so if u finish it i’ll give u pics of my puppy 

honestly let’s just dive right the hell in, u kno ?? 

so ! meet matteo moretti - some lucky few can call him teo ( tay - yo ) and those lucky few r pretty much only his baby sisters so ,,, 

speaking of his sisters, the two - bianca “bia” @ 17 and celeste @ 14 - are his fav ppl in the world ! when some shit went down with his ex it was bia who finally convinced him something wasn’t right and made him get out of town tbh !

ok so abt this boy - ngl he doesn’t have the most Tragic Backstory award , oops

he was raised by two v busy parents -- dad moved from italy as a teenager and is more free spirited + flighty, mom a badass take-no-shit manager for the restaurant she owns 

unfortunately , most of his life was daycare and shit - as his sisters slipped into his life, first bia, who’s bossy and demanding, and then celeste, observational and manipulative, he honestly took care of them from day one

mom kept sinking money into their fam restaurant + dad into his art gallery  so there wasn’t... wasn’t rlly any extra, not for things like birthdays or christmas or surprise trips on a long weekend after school 

as he got older + old enough to get a job, he was the one who gave his sisters those things, saving up from a mediocre job at mcdonalds for makeup bia wanted or toys for celeste

tbh the girls could get ANYTHING they wanted by whining “but teo...” at him , he’d be like ok fine christ almighty

eventually teo decided to try running start + honestly w how his work ethic was, he graduated hs with an associates . totally mediocre kid tbh nothing abt his life was special

when he was 18 + freshly “graduated”, he applied for nursing school, and a few months later he met his ex fiance at a freakin coffee shop, shit was absolutely ideal, girl was tall and dark haired n tastefully older than him and gorgeous and teo was  😍 😍 😍 😍 

he finished nursing school with his ex cheering from the sidelines, and took classes to become an ultrasound tech  (he likes babies, so sue him,) and that’s... that’s it. 

at 19 his life was kicking off, his siblings the light of his life, working nursing shifts, dating a hot girl, and still he had enough time to pursue his interests 

he had been a great dancer and a better violinist at one point lmao

when things went sour, things went REALLY sour.  the engagement + moving in together was a crazy fucking pivot for their relationship --

suddenly his ex was ornery and matteo felt like conversations were minefields. his ex had something negative to say every 10 seconds + argued with him about every thought he had; ex would tell him he couldn’t pull off __ or shouldn’t __ because it looked stupid, said shit about his dance studio, about his weight, about his violin being creaky, singing in the shower earned him pounding on the wall and “you’re giving me a goddamn headache!” -- threatened to kill herself, told matteo that his family was turning him against her --  the usual.

he stopped tbh. like he started staying in bed instead of going to work, but barely slept because he wanted to be awake for his fiance any time the girl decided to come home, he stopped dancing, he stopped playing his violin, stopped eating

he genuinely loves this girl with all of his being , but when his sister bia staged an intervention for the third time he realized, like, shit’s not good. he’s not happy. he kind of dreads his ex coming home, he dreads talking to his ex, he dreads sex, he craves positive attention he barely gets -- 

so he packed a suitcase, quit his job and left, the first two times he tried this, his ex called him in tears and he went back to hold her, begging to be taken back.

this time was different. his ex started to cut him off from his friends + siblings, and by the time he realized how fucked up things were, his sisters were barely speaking to him; this time he cancelled his phone, his credit cards, his social media, took his money out and fucking fled. 

anyway , lol . teo still loves his girl. he’d probably go back rn if the girl so much as texted him. he only has a phone for his sisters ; his wall is covered in pictures of their daily lives and his parents and his home bc he misses them so much

he’s rlly just trying to recover rn tbh; teo got a job at a nearby hospital (kind of a drive but whatever!) and is slowly playing his violin again , trying to get comfortable with his life. he’s here bc he likes the small space that’s his, likes the strangers, likes not looking over his shoulder

he’s quiet now, kind of distant, not at all the playful high-energy kid he had always been in high school. teo’s kind of too-honest + will tell you what you want to know, but he won’t discuss it. nor will he ever ask in return

matteo’s lowkey judgey so u rlly get one impression with him and then he’s gonna side-eye u forever

teo’s the quiet and understated things about recovery; the being unable to take off his engagement ring, the reflexively expecting to be told to shut up, the surprise when ppl don’t get mad, the feeling like a disgusting cheater when u so much as look at a cute boy or cute girl, trying to remember who u were before them, what interests u had

he’s the guy you go to with a cut or a funny sprain you’re not sure about. he’s the one who you talk to if you need advice about the weird stomach ache that hasn’t gone away .............

STATS -  20 / sept 10 , virgo , cismale , pansexual , rn , brown hair , brown eyes , 6′1 , slytherin

anyway this is sinfully long . gl . like this if u wanna plot !!