#anyway... shiv i really do love u :((((

[sammygender]

if i was shiv roy my anger would be biblical

[wambsgansshoelaces]

okay so last night i had this horrible bad bad bad no good panic/anxiety attack and like . i went through IT . was really bad , shaking so hard my teeth clattered , barely breathing , etc . so maybe could I get succession characters helping a so who has a panic/anxiety attack and grounding them? tysm 💐

~ 🦈

I’m really sorry that happened to you anon :( I hope you’re feeling much much better now!!! If you ever need to talk, you got me <3 I love u thank u for requesting, enjoy xx

panic attack (succession main cast)

Kendall

ᝰ he’s obviously had his fair share of panic attacks

ᝰ while he’s not really sure what’ll work for you specifically, he does his best to do things he wishes people did for him when he’d have attacks

ᝰ he has a few tricks up his sleeve, anyway

ᝰ when he first realizes you’re having one, he gets an ice cube

ᝰ and tells you to put it in your mouth and just leave it there

ᝰ “it helps your brain distract itself from its own meltdown,” he tells you softly

ᝰ all the while stroking your hair, your cheeks, your brow, whatever he can tell soothes you the most

ᝰ you suck on the ice cube until it melts

ᝰ and surprisingly enough, you’ve calmed down

ᝰ yes you’re still extremely anxious, but your breathing’s been regulated, your heart rate back to normal

ᝰ kendall coaxes you into a cuddle on the couch

ᝰhis fingers run through your hair over and over

ᝰ he’s just trying to bring you down from that bad high

ᝰ and he’s doing well

ᝰ he murmurs soft words to you

ᝰ and tries to get to the root of the issue

ᝰ “what caused all this, do you know?”

ᝰ you don’t have an answer

ᝰ but that’s okay

ᝰ he’ll take care of you regardless

ᝰ because you mean the world to him

ᝰ and if he can do anything to make you happy, he’ll do it

ᝰ you make him the happiest man to walk the earth

Roman

ᝰ is also a panic attack veteran

ᝰ kind of freezes the first time you have one in front of him

ᝰ but he snaps out of it immediately

ᝰ makes you lay down in bed while he runs to the bathroom

ᝰ he comes back with a cool washcloth and slaps it onto your face

ᝰ “roman!”

ᝰ “sorry, i didn’t think it’d go so hard!”

ᝰ you laugh

ᝰ but like you’re still having a panic attack

ᝰ he’s sat next to you, and rubs gentle circles into your cheeks and forehead with the washcloth

ᝰ the cool water helps soothe you as it seeps into your skin

ᝰ you calm down

ᝰ you’ve exhausted yourself

ᝰ once roman’s sure you’re not stressing the fuck out, he takes the washcloth and sets it on his side table

ᝰ he lays down with you and pulls you close to him

ᝰ “i’m tired, and i won’t be able to sleep unless you take a nap with me,” he states

ᝰ he sets your head on his chest

ᝰ and peppers kisses over your scalp

ᝰ he’s not even a little bit tired

ᝰ he just wants you to sleep and reset

ᝰ cheek smushed into his pec, you doze off

ᝰ he’s so happy, just having you here with him

ᝰ you’re safe when you’re with him

ᝰ and he’s safe when he’s with you

ᝰ he’s so warm and cuddly with you

ᝰ and you love it

Shiv

ᝰ if she’s ever had a panic attack, she’s never let you see it

ᝰ or anyone

ᝰ but when you have one in front of her, she can’t just let it happen

ᝰ she takes your face in her hands and makes you breathe

ᝰ “you’re going to do it just like me, okay?” she asks softly, eyes searching yours

ᝰ helps you box breathe

ᝰ “four cycles, babe, come on,” she encourages

ᝰ in four, hold four, out four, hold four

ᝰ “that’s it. you’re doing so well,” she coos

ᝰ within minutes she has you back to normal

ᝰ you don’t say anything, just hug her tight with your chin set on her shoulder

ᝰ “wanna talk about it?” she asks

ᝰ she’s there whether you do or you don’t

ᝰ if you do, she sits, she listens, and she does her absolute best to help

ᝰ and even if she can’t solve the issue itself, she’ll do everything in her power to make you feel better

ᝰ she goes out a bit later, not telling you where she’s going

ᝰ she returns with a banana split from dairy queen

ᝰ you share it, you perched on the kitchen counter, her standing in front of you

ᝰ your legs tangle together as you eat

ᝰ you end up getting a bit of whipped cream on the corner of your mouth

ᝰ“you’re so messy,” she says lightheartedly

ᝰ“what? look who’s talking,” you say back, wiping ice cream from her chin

ᝰ“i don’t know how that got there,” she mutters

ᝰ she lets you have the cherry

ᝰ she knows you love it

ᝰ but she loves it too

ᝰ so she kisses you, savoring the taste of the cherry

ᝰ but mostly just the taste of you

Tom

ᝰ well read wambsgans strikes again

ᝰ he realizes you have a panic attack oncoming and sits you down in a chair

ᝰ he keeps a hand on your shoulder and quietly talks you through it

ᝰ when your breathing begins to get erratic, he begins asking you questions so that you ground yourself

ᝰ “can you name three objects you can see in the kitchen?”

ᝰ “i, ah, the blender, the, um, coffee machine, and that stupid looking mug of yours,” you manage, referring to his ‘world’s best grandma’ mug he’d gotten in a white elephant thing at work

ᝰ “there you are. how about three things you smell?”

ᝰ he’s smiling softly at you, hand now pushing back hair from your face

ᝰ you inhale deeply, grounding yourself

ᝰ just as he’d intended

ᝰ “your cologne… i still kind of smell dinner? and…”

ᝰ at a loss, you lean forward and sniff

ᝰ “…laundry detergent,” you say after giving his shirt a sniff

ᝰ “you’re a cheater,” he says, despite his smile

ᝰ “oh, well,” you reply, smiling up at him

ᝰ he kisses your forehead

ᝰ “want to move to bed?” he asks

ᝰ “please.”

ᝰ before you know it, the two of you are curled together, the blankets and duvets bringing you comfort

ᝰ he brings you comfort

ᝰ he’s scratching gently at the nape of your neck, your head pressed into the crook of his

ᝰ you press lazy kisses to the skin under your mouth

ᝰ you fall asleep, a tangle of limbs, the sheets warm with affection

Greg

ᝰ lowkey is also having a panic attack

ᝰ but not really

ᝰ he pulls himself together for you

ᝰ he’s not really sure what to do

ᝰ so he googles it

ᝰ “hey, hey. close your eyes, and, uh, i’ll count to five, and you’ll breathe in through your nose, okay?”

ᝰ not really sure what this’ll do for you, but trusting him, you oblige him

ᝰ “exhale through your mouth, now.”

ᝰ after a few cycles, you’re feeling a bit better

ᝰ you’re still anxious, but it’s not suffocating you anymore

ᝰ “go sit, i’ll get ice cream,” he tells you

ᝰ when he comes back to sit next to you on the couch, he has a pint of your favorite ice cream in his hands and two spoons

ᝰ his arm goes around you and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze

ᝰ the two of you end up finishing the pint

ᝰ he talks about everything to take your mind off of whatever it was that was stressing you out

ᝰ eventually, your brow isn’t furrowed, your features aren’t tense

ᝰ he kisses your cheeks

ᝰ “are you feeling good? better, at least?”

ᝰ you are

ᝰ you’re finally at peace again

ᝰ you spend the rest of the night watching a favorite show of greg’s

ᝰ you love sitting there listening to him talk about why he enjoys it so much

ᝰ he tells you that he’ll enjoy it better when you watch it with him

ᝰ because the first time around, all he could think of was you and whether you would like it

ᝰ you’re all that’s on his mind

ᝰ ever

Stewy

ᝰ this man is a masterclass in calm

ᝰ “hey, baby, take a breath,” he tells you, one hand brace on your stomach, the other on the small of your back

ᝰ when you clearly do not take a good breath, he changes tactics

ᝰ the hand on your stomach moves to take your own hand

ᝰ the one on your back begins rubbing in circles

ᝰ “i really want to go on a walk,” he tells you, “and i really, really, want you to come with me.”

ᝰ you know he’s lying

ᝰ but you go with him anyway

ᝰ the fresh air helps you

ᝰ and just moving around helps clear your head

ᝰ eventually, you’ve calmed down a bit

ᝰ your breath is still stuttering and tears are welling in your eyes

ᝰ stewy still has your fingers intertwined with his

ᝰ his eyes never leave your face

ᝰ he reaches over and thumbs away your tears

ᝰ “you know, i think we’re on time to watch the sun set,” he tells you, eyes twinkling

ᝰ you end up at a nearby park

ᝰ he pulls you onto a bench overlooking empty meadows

ᝰ his arm loops around you and he lets you lean against him

ᝰ your arms wind around his wast, your fingers fiddling with his belt loop

ᝰ he dots kisses all over your head as the sky melts into pinks and oranges

ᝰ “so gorgeous,” you whisper, the colors blending and swirling together before your eyes

ᝰ “not as much as you,” he murmurs back

ᝰ “cheese ball,” you say happily

ᝰ “you know you love me.”

ᝰ “i do. very much.”

[transmutationisms]

HI really love your thoughts on stuff. do you think succession - as a tv show with a script - makes all of its negative statements negatively or positively? this is something im having trouble with, specially with shiv and the overwhelming misogyny. i understand its quite literally real life. but they know the importance of media as a statement that defines real life - its sort of meta, but the whole thing with whether or not calling mencken, knowing it would affect politics, is something that can reflect on the show itself. i dont think i fully agree with what they do to shiv in the way they portray the misogyny. it feels like a "and thats how it will always be" more than "thats how its been". idk. maybe I just hate misogyny and cant stand to see that. but everything is a statement. what do u think?

well in general i agree that, yeah, the show is more interested in satire and criticism than offering any kind of imaginative solution or alternative. so, if you want to watch something that suggests alternatives to logan-style misogyny (& i'd understand why) then i think you're going to be dissatisfied with this show. like, obviously even with logan gone, his influence still haunts the company and the family, and anyway the broader structures of capitalism and its use / exploitation of women were always much larger than logan alone. all of this also applies to how roman and kendall (& to a lesser extent connor) are punished for failing to live up to standards of masculinity; logan feminised kendall to punish him for business failures and derided roman for what he saw as a more innate femininity that made roman disgusting to him.

i actually think gender is a strong suit for the show. it's very deeply interested in how they each relate to standards of bourgeois masculinity and femininity, and how these strictures are confining and punishing (often literally, as logan used them as tools of his abuse). for shiv she lived up to some of logan's femands for an heir (her emotional repression, flashes of killer instinct) but was ultimately always doomed by the fact that logan saw her as permanently being his little girl, denied a body (bc this was less disgusting to him than thinking of her as a woman) and never the right fit for his corporate mould, even when she was trying her hardest to fit it. roman and kendall ofc pick up on this and the way her gender can be used in itself to lock her out of the upper echelons of power (a walking pair of teats, all the men got together in man club). but ultimately this is a dissection of misogyny and masculinity, not a suggestion for escape.

i have mixed feelings about the sort of ethical argument here. it is fair to say that succession has a fundamentally conservative ethos in the sense that the satire and snark angle is uninterested in offering solutions or imagining alternatives. it's grounded in exploring capitalism, fascism, the resulting gender politics, &c, and to the extent that it challenges these things, it's by portraying them as worthy of mockery. it's not a leftist political treatise. but like, i think there's a can of worms to open here in terms of asking how revolutionary a television show is capable of being simple by virtue of the medium. like, even if the content is radical internally, does is matter that the form is still one embedded in capitalist production, ie, that the show is a commodity on the same market? i identify the root of misogyny within the capitalist mode of production; how far is something made within these parameters capable of going in offering any kind of alternative? and also, do we care? like, am i watching tv because i'm looking for radical politics? again, this doesn't negate the critique of succession's critique. but i do think it's a bit... trite? to ask tv to be some kind of moral guide---particularly on a show where the premise is such that any 'challenge' to misogyny would still be constrained within the bourgeois world the characters inhabit.

[eastgaysian]

hi ming, as one of tumblr's foremost nicholas britell scholars i was wondering if you had any thoughts on the music that plays in the tomshiv stair scene in 4x04 and their apartment scene in 4x01. to me these moments just sounded so like.... sappy and melodramatic in a way that was tonally dissonant with the rest of the show, and almost made it hard for me to take the scenes as seriously as i otherwise wanted to. am i hearing these cues wrong? not picking up something that britell is doing with them? or are they truly ill-begotten soundtrack decisions?

you're telling me i write papers about music for school and now i gotta write em for my succession blog too when does it end. no it is fun to get a music question thank u caden :)

first thing i'll say is that if you feel like the score is tonally dissonant or overly sappy, then i can sit here and be like Well clearly the use of the leitmotif from andante in C minor is meant to tie this scene to this other scene or this is evoking wagner's tristan chord or whatever, and i don't think that invalidates feeling like it's tonally dissonant or sappy. composing for tv means composing music that's supposed to work with a scene, and if it doesn't then it's not doing its job. i love nicholas britell's work on succession but it is music with a clearly defined job.

truthfully i cannot be assed to do a full harmonic analysis of the piece and i don't think it would be particularly revealing anyway. i think the winds arrangement in 4x04 is interesting, i feel like we mostly get piano and strings in succession music. that might push the sappy feel lol. it's in f minor, the main theme is a simple descending sequence, it's got a little phrygian flair. the extended piano+string arrangement in 4x01 yanks the main theme from the title theme but most succession pieces yank something from the title theme, it's pretty sensible and economic tv composing.

really i think the oddity is that it feels like it's an s4 'tom and shiv theme,' which is... just not something that we've had before? and that is tonally dissonant from how music is employed in the show overall, which underscores emotionally tense moments but not usually in a way at all adjacent to being a 'love theme.' i'm pretty sure most of the Romantic Relationship Scenes are music-free, or if they have music it's a very different feel from the slow melodrama of this piece. i dunno! it's definitely a choice. i'll be listening to see if this piece pops up again in other tom and shiv scenes

[egcdeath]

I am back with more succession au thoughts! Your idea of art being competition for the top spot is so big brained it’s amazing and makes total sense and adds so many layers and tension to their dynamic and history I love it so much because it’s so juicy especially if there’s years of shared history with reader too… and it puts patrick in such a classic kendall position of trying to seem fully capable of the job and not like a total mess to his dad and of course because then art can unleash his full inner snake. And kendall and stewy were never really in direct competition either so the potential for angst and messiness is even stronger in this au!

The tom/shiv dynamic with patrick as shiv is also so good because combining him with the misery and emotional rollercoaster that she goes through as the only sibling to actually keep an s/o throughout the show, an s/o that she actually loves even though it’s all complicated and fucked up and kinda unhealthy and codependent, is so interesting. like her arc in season 2 when the relationship with tom starts falling apart at the same time that she truly thinks she has the ceo spot especially comes to mind. failmarriage is objectively the best dynamic on a tv show even though it’s physically painful to watch!! Like S4 tomshiv made me want to tear my hair out but it was so well done and devastating and real

I’ve been rambling but I love combining my two favorite forms of media!

anon i love u so much please never stop sending me your succession au thoughts.

i would LOVE the mess of art being like stewy and patrick being like kendall and you (reader) kinda having a history with art but being with patrick. like not a full on love triangle but definitely some interesting feelings there that maybe could be improved if all of you just kissed idk tho. i also think that patrick struggling to have it all a la kendall roy and art taking that opportunity to try to get into the company would just be so good. like first he tries to steal patrick’s woman and now he’s trying to steal his family’s conglomerate??? sickening!

and patrick being as pathetic as kendall is just really speaking to me. we already see patrick at his lowest picking up cigarettes off the ground and getting his card declined at a shitty motel but like. imagine if patrick was wealthy and still miserable. like trying so hard to please his father who thinks he’s a fuckup. quit tennis LONG ago to appease his family even though he feels like he’s missing something without it. trying so hard to be a good significant other but you’re tired of him acting unhinged and trying so hard to please his dad and having no work life balance and barely any time for you and did he do COKE off your child’s IPAD????

anyway.

tomshiv patrick and reader. i agree with every single thing you said. i think it would be such a fun dynamic to explore! like yeah you’re kinda a gold digger from a small midwestern town and obviously you love patrick but you kinda love his money more. like just a little bit. and you start working at his family’s conglomerate and you’re moving up the ranks and patrick’s dad almost dies and you’re like let’s get married (mostly so you can get a piece of the pie if something happens to his dad) and he asks for an open marriage on your wedding night but you love him and you love his money so you’re hurt but you don’t let it stop you and the pattern of him embarrassing you in front of his family or just in general doesn’t really end but it’s ok because you get your revenge and undermine him with his dad and your relationship is kinda permanently altered and you really do love each other. you do! but you both have a weird way of showing it because his dad never loved him like he should’ve and you’re starting to feel like the love you have for his money is starting to rival the love you have for him. anyway all succession heads know how the show ends so the reader would end up on top but at what cost!

anyway. never feel ashamed of rambling in my ask box. i’ll actually ramble right back at you. succession anon please keep rambling to me!!!

[dongfangxunfeng]

hi xin!! im not sure what youre up to in succession but what do you think so far? like do you have any characters or themes or anything thats really intriguing to you/that you think has been explored really well etc? i think theres sooooo much there but i get a bit too 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 to really articulate it well BUT i love hearing what other people are thinking abt it. mwah hope youve been well too 💜

HI VAL <333333 I LOVE SUCCESSY!!!! so im on the s2 finale (havent watched it yet but thats the today plan) and i have many. vibe related feelings not super coherent but yeah :)

first off its just soooo embarry that i understand wtf theyre about all the time <- businessmajorisms 😭 its genuinely so embarrassing when theyre saying shit like 'we need a poison pill white knight defence' and i know exactly what theyre referring to

my real 1st thought is that u def need to like. care about what they're parodying bc otherwise (1) to me its not as interesting if not, bc otherwise ur just glazing thru a lot of important context - probably why among other reasons i couldnt get into it the first time around when i watched like 2 eps (2) just based on brief observations it can make you a lil weirdinsane abt the characters when you treat them like. a regular guy from your shows (hence shit like tomgreg 😭😭😭)

the familial abuse dynamics. insane btw. logan @ his family vs logan what he presents to the world/people he wants things from vs logan what he presents to his employees..........and then you can see connor&willa and go ah yes . different flavour of abuse . insanity

UNRELATED BUT. tom & greg's voices are kind of in my head now i had an argument w myself this morning but in their voices and then i was like oops ive been watching too much

speaking of watching too much so /i/ am also a businessguy(ish. its complicated) who is . at this point running a newspaper (ish. we havent rlly started but ive been doing so much interviewing i am actually writing this in a break btwn them) so im like. omg what if im commiting mediacorporate crime and its like no. youve just been watching succession

ANYWAY CHARACTERS. shiv fascinates me. like yes her family esp logan doesnt really respect her opinions but also she is sooooo slimy. smth abt how ur sympathies for her get played with incessantly < shiv enjoyer

i hate tom sm but i cant hate hate him....actually i think that describes most of the characters. lol

the way theres so much dead air in this show is like. gweoifjiewjfoiwjefiw the awkwardness of it all. really adds to it

I WILL BE BACK I NEED TO FINISH MY INTERVIEWSSTAYTUNED

[ebbarights]

alright so people won't be annoyed at me liveblogging a three day old episode with thoughts they have already seen a million times i will compile all my thoughts into one post so you can just skip this

SHIV PREGANTE??? i was 80 percent sure this was happening but i'm still fucking surprised just like with logan's death

the intro sounds soo fucky. like i thought there was something wrong with my speakers but this happening right after logan's death I LOVE IT

hiam abbass in intro we love to see it

i feel like i do have to add (since no one will read this anyway) that the reason it has taken this long for me to watch it is that i really really think watching succession is bad for me. like it kind of counts as self-harming behaviour i think. but yesterday i went on a long walk that really helped and now i feel more equipped for the episode. let's see if it undoes all the progress!!

MARCIAAAAAAAAAA MY LONGEST YEAH BOI EVER

this really is the season of hugs

'i'm sure it'll crush me eventually' 'pre-grieved' relatable repression king

my one wish for when the show is over is that someone makes a greg-less cut. just remove all of the scenes where greg's there

first sympathetic karl moment

the HEAVY swedish accent oskar has i love it

willa absolutely slaying that dress and marcia. queen on queen violence

krank real

'i have been worried that this was gonna happen for ages' real. whenever anything bad happens i have already anticipated it and so my emotions never feel real in the moment? like i've practiced them already so often that it's hard to feel something u know

kind of weird to say and probably gonna bite me in the ass later but it really seems like kendall is the most well-adjusted of all of them

'he's a bit racist' interesting use of present tense there roman. sure you've pre-grieved enough

kendall's second name is logan officially confirmed huh

frank openly laughing at greg i loooove it roman fully saying he hates him i am so here for this

is it real motif showing up yet again

i actually can't bear this frank kendall dialogue

did frank say 'he left you' or did he say 'he loved you'

roman just immediately leaving when tom shows up. same

i never would've guessed that shiv would blame herself. honey being on the plane didn't kill him. but it makes so much sense that she feels left behind and alone

i still want to know about how shiv and tom met and what that difficult time was

like i fully believe tom loves shiv and that he means what he says when he tries to comfort her. but with the background of his one ally being dead there's just no way that shiv can believe a word he says, and it's gotta be at least one motivating factor for him

DOG WITHOUT IT'S PERSON roman take a look at that mirror and see what you might find in there

clogged toilet -> bodily fluids motif really all the motifs making a comeback this episode

why is shiv like half a head taller than roman her heels aren't that high

STEWYYYYYYYYYYY

KERRYYYYYYYYYYYY

greg stop talking about being distasteful you fully asked for a job while logan was in a coma

i love roman being nice to kerry maybe i'm naive but i can't see an ulterior motive for that? unless he wants to be like logan oh my god please don't please no

romtom real (also i just accidentally typed rimtom. accidentally? guess we'll never know)

stewy lore his dad is 95 and is 'normal' enough to just randomly sue his neighbour

KENSTEWY REAL

haunted house motif real

i love willa's mom

roman's joking about growing old sharing a bed with his siblings like charlie and the chocolate factory but i'm serious i want that. in my life. both for them and for me and my friends

roman yet again being the only one who thinks about connor. at all

helping old ladies cross the street somebody kill me

roman admitting he betrayed them just so he can get a shot at ceo. well at least he told them himself?

here's the thing i kind of think kendall's right about shiv not really working but. god emotionally i will kill him for you shiv. cutting her out again?????

'i'm not trying to fuck anyone' ace king

shivshivshivshivshivshiv

GREG I LOATHE HIM

SHIVSHIVSHIVSHIVSHIV

connor's mom?????

jesus kendall. i knew he would do this but jesus.

once again the end titles music is so fucking amazing.

[tinyufoboss]

Part 2 of my tomgreg read-thru-in-review-fic-rec-favs! Some of my favs from the first 100 fics on ao3 :) More info below the cut! And part 1 here <3

- is it the real thing, or just a one night stand by @wambsgangs

- contact is crisis by brandyalexanders2 / @cousingregfancam

- The Christmas House by theremin / @iamtheremin

- is it the real thing, or just a one night stand by @wambsgangs Frustrated after being stood up for a hang-out, Tom lowers his standards to Tinder levels, and drunkenly matches with Greg. M / 7k / Finished

okay this fic was already a fav, but i coincidentally came back to it after 3x07 and it REALLY hit. wambsgangs is a queen, you should read all her fics anyway, but the jealousy/repression/pining is so good here, and it's just a super fun ride. perfectly awkward and messy and the writing kicks ass. some of my other early favs of theirs are cross me once and let somebody love you (before it's too late)

- contact is crisis by brandyalexanders2 / @cousingregfancam Greg spent the night before Tom and Shiv's wedding with Dodds. It isn't until after the takedown with Kendall that he learns the truth about what happened to him that next night. M / 22k / WIP

the only fic to my knowledge that explores the canonical detail of greg seemingly staying over at andrew dodd's place in the season one finale eps, and it's so good, dude. this fic does drama so well; greg crashes and he crashes hard, and tom is reluctantly there to pick up some pieces. all of the stuff with dodds is perfectly integrated in such a fun, believable way. brandyalexanders' writing is particularly lovely (i like all their other shorter fics, but my fav is only in the movies) but this fic just has this perfect bittersweet push-pull between tom and greg that i adore. not finished, but totally worth the read!

- The Christmas House by theremin / @iamtheremin After the divorce, Tom ends up back in St. Paul looking at a fixer-upper with an odd legal clause attached. T / 18k / Finished

on the other end of the tone spectrum, and a seasonal fav! this fic is just INCREDIBLY satisfying, cute, fun. the makings of a perfect little christmas romcom. some super funny exchanges, a bunch of perfectly tropey fake dating style antics, a surprise visit from roman. i really enjoy the wambsgans in this fic. it's an absolute delight.

okay, there! I wish I could manage illustrations for so many more, but thank u to all the fic writers out there u are doing the lord's work <3

[rivangel]

Afab Levi who’s always been masc presenting. It was one of the first lessons that Kenny had taught him: how to hold a knife, how to pickpocket, how to be a boy. Lessons often beaten into his little body.

Levi didn’t really get it at first. He’d always been his momma’s little girl, her princess. He understood once he got a bit older. The underground was a cruel place for women, young girls included. It was safer to be a boy, to be a man.

He’d worried about it as he got older. That his body would betray him as puberty struck, hips widening and breasts growing. They didn’t though, the lack of sunlight and severe malnutrition had prevented that. Even as he got more successful as a thug and food got more plentiful, the signs of his femininity were often scarce.

Levi didn’t do sex or relationships anyways, never really had any interest, so it didn’t really matter how he was perceived. He told Farlan and Isabel, though. They were the only people he really trusted down there.

It wasn’t until Levi reached the surface, until he met you, that he really felt comfortable in his own skin. Her own skin. It was an adjustment, some mannerisms she’d never really shake. She’d never be her mothers little princess again, but she’d try to be yours.

(I had this whole thought in the shower and had to send it! I’m sorry if it’s too much 🙈🙈)

EE tay thank god for that shower bc i fucking love what i wrote here. i hope u like it. the beginning is my favorite

(im using the plot of ACWNR from the manga btw)

summary: Three glimpses into Levi’s search for self-love—Levi, who was born a woman and forced to present as a man.

content/warnings: fem!Reader, Levi dressing as a pretty princess ok, kid!Levi and Kenny, injury recovery, descriptions of blood, romantic tension (Farlan and Levi), two moments of physical abuse towards a child (hitting), trying on clothes, fingering (f!receiving), subby Levi

wc: ~5.6k

Levi’s hand shook madly, the silver clippers Kenny put in her hand not even an inch shy of her thick head of black hair. It’s a rat’s nest, lying in thick shaggy strands down her upper back, which she knows is bad, but at least she clipped her bangs back with clothespins so she could see.

My raven, Mama used to say. In the picture-books she read to Levi, Mama showed her things called birds, and that’s why. They were black, like her hair, but theirs shined. Hers was dull. Hurt to brush.

“Are you hurryin’ the fuck up in there or what, kid?”

Kenny's voice is a boom, even all the way through the old bathroom door through to the kitchen, where Levi has learned people are supposed to eat. She has only lived in one room before.

Her eyes shut instinctively at the sound, the trembling clippers stopped in midair. Mama never, ever cut her hair short, but Kenny says that’s what’s going to have to happen if she doesn’t want to end up like her.

The door swings open, causing Levi to suck in a gasp and spin around towards him fast. Since she started eating a lot more, she’s been faster in general, like she wasn’t properly awake before.

Kenny isn’t all dressed up for once. A clean shirt is still tucked into his pants with knives and guns and shivs and such on his belt, but no coat. His hat is clutched in his hand, down by his hip.

He sighs, long and heavy, and plants his other hand on his hip too. “What the hell have you been up to all this time? Starin’ at yourself?”

“No,” she replies defensively, brow pinched.

“Ah. I see. You like lookin’ like a sewer rat, is that right?”

Kenny kicks the door open with his boot, making it thwack the drywall. “What the hell’s your problem, Levi?”

She starts to shiver even though she doesn't feel cold, and turns back. The sink is so rusty it’s turned red and brown near the bottom, so it’s all dirty-looking. She rubs at the stiff stains in the metal, but nothing comes up.

“Well? Speak up.”

“...I’ll mess it up,” Levi grumbles softly. “I never done it before.”

Kenny smacks his gnarled hand down on that dirty metal, making her stiffen, and stares down with a certain look. Mama never gave her that look when she was unhappy with Levi, but the men did.

Her eyes go like saucers.

“Tough shit. Your mama’s not ever gonna do your hair again, and you’re gonna have to do somethin’ about that.”

She sucks in a breath, and starts to whimper. “Not your way! I’m not a fuckin’ boy!” she cries.

“Not my way?” His eyes turn hard. “You take your scrawny ass out in those streets all by yourself, and see how long you last.”

“Fuck off.”

Kenny laughs at her. “You’re pathetic.”

“Not a boy,” she snarls.

“That’s too fuckin’ bad, Shorty. ‘Cause y'are one now.”

“I’ll mess! It! Up! Asshole!” Levi screams, leaning up on her toes to get up in Kenny’s face, which was more like his middle.

Kenny’s face is like a solid flat stone, except chipped and dirty. His face reminds Levi of the pillars that hold the roof of the Underground up.

Her bottom lip trembling, she throws the clippers down with a shout and furiously wipes her wet eyes. Kenny says she can’t cry because then people will know her weaknesses, but so many tears cramp inside her chest all the time since Mama died (“Your mother’s dead,” Kenny told her, that one time with a kind voice.) that she can’t help it.

Kenny makes another face. “Quit the waterworks, you brat. It’s just some hair.”

Levi shakes her head. Her attempts to obey result in these fluttery, wet gasping noises that Levi knows are ugly and would make Kenny angry with her, but she can’t be strong, no matter how hard she tries.

Then a big hand wraps itself around her upper arm, and Levi shouts. She kicks at his knees as hard as she can, but that doesn’t affect Kenny any. He sits her on top of the sink so she’s more level with his face, but still not really.

She peers up at Kenny’s glaring face, teeth grinding, but still tearful. No one Levi has met has ever been as tall as he is; he’s like those giants people talk about sometimes.

“You’re bustin’ my balls here, Levi.” He sighs roughly. “Fine. Stay there.”

Kenny’s grip on Levi’s arm vanishes. Near the corner, he swipes the clippers off the blackened floor, which is supposed to be wood. His big boots scrape dust and glass.

Levi does as he ordered, staring down at her lap. She’s not much used to wearing pants (or a tunic this nice). The other women like her Mama used to play dress-up with her, they said like a ‘princess’.

She misses Moira’s shiny makeup. Dust in all some different colors that even glittered. Black pencils that made her eyes look totally blue instead of grey.

Glass cracks under Kenny’s boots as he steps toward her again. “I’m serious, kid. Some hair is nothin’ worth cryin’ over; this’ll make it easier for you not to die.”

Marta, who said she was from Above—Levi talked to her a lot because Mama and her were best friends. She said Levi’s eyes were like the sky when the sun was going down.

She also explained that the sun is warm, and too bright to even look at. Levi wonders what the sky looks like when the sun is all the way up.

“Brat,” Kenny barks, smacking the side of her head. “Are you deaf? Look at me.”

Cringing, she grunts and rights herself again. Kenny is so strong, that even when he doesn’t mean to, he hits hard.

She looks up at Kenny, in his eyes. It’s easy with his hair slicked back like that. Maybe having that wouldn’t be so bad.

“I’m gonna make a deal with you. I’ll cut it for you this one time, so you can get some kinda idea of how you want it. And I mean that.” Kenny holds up one long finger. “You remember the first thing I taught you?”

Levi deadpans. Kenny is always teaching. She isn’t stupid. “My word is my bond.”

“Uh-huh. So you get what I’m saying?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What’d you say?” Kenny holds his hand up to his ear. “Couldn’t hear ya, kid.”

Levi knows Kenny heard her. She straightens up like a rod, and says it like she means it: “I fuckin’ got it!”

“Good.” Kenny casually tosses the two clothespins that she used to pin her bangs back to the floor, and replaces them with bobbypins.

“Hey, don’t gimme that sad doggy look,” he says. “Those worked fine, but these’re better.”

Levi grunts softly. She’ll do that from now on, then.

Then Kenny sighs, short and rough while Levi is in the middle of knuckling the sink so she won’t be jerked around.

“What?” Levi mumbles.

“I’m not wastin’ money takin’ you to any shitty barber. That said, I’m no barber, either.

“If you hate how it turns out after…” Kenny parts the clipper’s shiny blades, looking pensive. “…I’ll let you wear my hat for the day.”

Levi’s eyes widen into dinnerplates.

“But you’re on your own after that. Find some way to style it.”

She bites her lip. “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” Kenny parts her hair into sections, split with more bobby-pins. “This shit’s desperate for a cut. You can’t go around lookin’ like a slob, Midget. No one’ll take you seriously.”

Midget?

“I’m not a midget, and I know. I’m not deaf,” she grumbles. Kenny tells her that most of all, how important being respected is.

“Nah, you are. Now sit still.”

“Asshole.”

He ignores her, and so it begins: one snip, then two, then six, seven, eight. The whole idea as far as her bangs go is to make it so she can see better. She doesn’t have any choice in that.

“Well?” Kenny is asking from her side. “Use that mouth a’ yours. Whaddya want?”

Her lips press. She can’t think of anything specific. “...I want it to be a raven.”

“Raven?” Kenny laughs in her face. “What kinda hair is that?”

Levi shrugs, glaring down at the black strands littering the floor, and screws her nose up. She’s thankful she has proper shoes now. “That’s what Mama used to say I am.”

A scoff sounds over the snipping.

“…I guess it doesn’t mean nothin’.”

“Anything. Talk right. People’ll look down on you if you sound like an idiot.”

“Shit. Sorry.”

“You better not’ve used that shit mouth around your mother. A proper lady like her never woulda spoke that way.”

Levi feels angry heat twist her twist. “Duh... That’s how you talk.”

Kenny barks a giant laugh. “Great, then. Ya learned it from me! Most people are babies, brat. Talk some shit, and you’ll get a lot more heads turning than some ‘educated’ noble pigs.”

“Got it.”

“And don’t apologize for some shit that doesn't matter. You fuck up, you fix your mistake and move on.”

“Got it.”

More raven is pushed behind Levi’s skinny shoulders, gets chopped, then lands, tickling her hand. She shakes the pieces off.

“You’re not a bad kid, Shorty. Just stupid. Good thing ol’ Kenny the Ripper’s here to show you up from down, huh?” he laughs.

Levi doesn’t know what to say to that, so she seals her lips and just doesn’t say sorry again. She’ll get smart, then. She’ll learn everything, and hit hard without trying, just like him.

Kenny’s rough voice again breaks through the snipping once he’s done with the back of Levi’s head. It’s weird, just feeling air there.

She feels it. It’s shaved down to peach fuzz, actually, until she reaches up a little more. It’s like a blanket.

“Look, kid.”

She looks up at Kenny’s grizzled face. For once, he looks serious.

“You knew your mother better than I did, so—”

She frowns. “I thought you were friends.”

“Hey.” He shoves her head down. “Don’t interrupt while the teacher’s fuckin’ teaching.”

Kenny glides the blade up and over Levi’s ear, shaving more raven way down. “I could’ve been a better friend. You be good to your friends, Levi, or the wrong ones’ll come up and kill ya one day. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“I don’t know half a shit about what she coulda meant by ‘raven’,” he muses. “That’s gonna have to be up to you. So you take that stupid raven and run with it, alright?”

His eyes pierce Levi’s. “Got it?”

Levi has never seen a raven in real life, but she knows what Mama meant by it. Black hair. Maybe short: pictures of ravens have short hair. Clean, so it shines.

She gathers her wits again and looks Kenny back in the eye.

“Got it.”

“Walls, Levi.” Farlan’s anger is betrayed by the urgency thick in his voice. “Work with me here!”

Bracing his middle—where bright wet red has soaked his shirt in one sweeping, solid arc—climbing up the steps to the hideout, plus shoving Farlan away all at the same time isn’t working out. His mind rocks, high and hazy, inside his skull.

“Asshole just got lucky,” Levi grunts, giving Farlan another weak push.

“You’re so full of it.”

“Tch.”

They toddle up more stairs, Farlan’s arm like personal handcuffs around his waist.

If Levi really wanted to knock him away, he could. Just, the crazed look in Farlan’s (bruising) eye is something he’s never seen on him. He isn’t about to be in some real trouble, but if he can’t get Farlan to believe that, convincing Isabel will be impossible.

She didn’t join them this time. Fact is, she’s still new, still a little brat, and probably still sleeping off that cold—another one.

No matter how often she comes down with the sniffles, it never fails to make Levi jittery, like he has a hundred tasks to get done without knowing what any of them are. Hence the random “shopping trip”.

Asshole just got lucky.

Now clear of the top step, Levi shakes Farlan away, for real this time, and gets support from his own two feet. He wavers a little as he jabs the key in the lock, breathing labored, but doesn’t fall. To Farlan’s credit, Levi has lost some blood, but nothing vital was scraped.

“Take care of the girl,” Levi says under his breath. “Fucks sakes, Farlan. You’re a nervous wreck.”

“She’s asleep.”

“Yeah.” Levi calmly opens the door. “But she hasn’t eaten dinner, now has she? Feed her.”

Farlan actually growls. He steps in behind Levi and slams his hand down on the door, banging it against the wall.

Sneering, Levi whirls around and glares daggers at him. He doesn’t have the energy to lecture him for denting their wall.

Farlan looks more serious than he has since Levi has known him, which is saying something.

“You’ve never gotten hit this bad, Lev’.”

“Exactly. Which is why you shouldn’t be treating this like it’s the end of the world.”

Farlan ignores him, and brushes past him into the pristine kitchen in search of first-aid.

“And why? You never told me that part.”

Levi did. He glowers in the mouth of the kitchen, his fingers tacky with blood. “She’s sick, idiot.”

“I remember the things I was up to at her age, and I bet you do too. People like us’re fighters. We aren’t helpless,” Farlan goes on ranting. “Izzy included.”

Levi joins him in fishing in the cabinets for that little white box. “I’m on my death bed, or like you say, and you plan to tell me another story about your old gang?”

“That’s not my point.”

Levi huffs, and winces with his neck craned up. Only Farlan would’ve put it up that high.

“Hey,” Levi grunts, and nods towards it.

Farlan grabs it for him, but before he can do anything else, Levi snatches it out of his hand, and retreats to the dining table for a place to sit.

He sighs like the weight of the world is being exhaled through his nose. “...Sorry about the wall, Levi.”

“Worry about it later.”

Levi plants himself in a seat, biting on a wince. Pulling his hand back from his belly, he huffs. Red. Strings of blood are even clotted dark, dark maroon—proof that they spent too much time arguing about the blood at all.

Farlan plants a hand on his hip. “But look: Isabel isn’t a little kid. She says so all the time.”

“Little kids will say all sorts of shit,” Levi corrects him, unwrapping gauze. “Kids are dumb. That’s why we’re here.”

Farlan scoffs. “The outcome of that really depends on the teacher.”

Teeth grit, winds some coarse gauze around his hand and presses down through his shirt-turned-blood-rag. “Just be glad she’s got someone. Women have it a lot worse down here than men, and they get a lot worse things done to them, too. Don’t tell me—”

Barefeet stomp down the hallway. Isabel appears in the doorway and aggressively stamps one foot down. “I can hear you screaming all the way from my bed, you guys! What’s the big idea!?“

Levi’s eyes harden for a different reason as he moves to cover his middle. The girl still has sleep crud in her eyes, for fucksakes. The sight of him as he is now isn’t a pretty sight to wake up to.

“Glad you asked, Izz,” Farlan says conversationally.

Levi shoots the most fatal glare at the side of Farlan’s head that he can manage. “You shut up, Farlan, if you still want use of your arms five seconds from now.”

Not only is this slip-up not a big deal, but they don’t know who Levi really is, or is pretending to be.

Levi has mastered the art of mimicking a man without question: lowering his voice like a man’s, talking like a man, and dressing so nothing would show—especially when his body started changing.

Seeing how the lucky hit from the “pharmacist”’s (he’s more of a smuggler from the Surface than anything) hired muscle nicked his chest wraps, he’s a little surprised Farlan hasn’t already noticed. Without them, he still doesn’t show much, but still.

Farlan, it turns out, doesn’t need to say a word for Isabel to come stomping into the kitchen. She gets one look at Levi, then does a double take.

Levi sighs, bites back a cringe. “Brat, go back to bed. I’m fine.”

Her eyes grow into the size of dinnerplates at the sight of him. Blood has oozed between his fingers and drips down into his lap.

She’s smart enough to know she won’t get a straight answer out of Levi.

“Farlan.” She whirls around towards him, fists tight by her sides. “Who got bro!? Is he gonna be okay?”

Suddenly, Farlan is on Levi’s side in all this. “He's gonna be fine, Izzy.”

“No! That's not good enough! Where did you two even go?”

That cold of hers seems to have worn itself out on its own, at least. More medicine for next time, then.

While Isabel rants to Farlan, who is doing his damndest to get one word in, Levi presses thick, folded gauze firmer against his belly, through his shirt. Maybe taking it off isn’t necessary.

He holds his breath as fire tears through the injury, causing the world to once again wobble.

Dammit. It’ll take more fight than Levi has left in him to shoo them somewhere away. Isabel is in hysterics.

“You shoulda told me!” Isabel is screaming through tears up at Farlan (she’s even a little shorter than Levi). “I coulda helped!”

Farlan gapes. “You were passed out, sick.”

“That doesn't matter!”

“What’s exactly the point of getting you medicine if you go out with us and die anyway?”

“But you’d both be there! You wouldn’t—"

“Both of you!” Levi cuts in. “Either shut up or take your fight somewhere else. I’m busy.”

Their own little argument bubble pops. Isabel steps to Levi like Farlan just disappeared into thin air, and yanks the first-aid kit towards her.

“You're gonna need more gauze than that,” she whines. “Levi, you're really hurt.”

Farlan agrees. “Look, you were right. Isabel’s okay, so it’s your turn now. Could you take off your shirt so we can have a look?"

Levi protectively clutches the collar of his shirt and considers Isabel's grabby hands.

Nudity is no concern. He has given Isabel plenty of baths in the past (in order to teach her how to clean up properly), and rushing water in the Underground is just a fairytale; only a few first-rate brothels can afford private bathrooms.

It’s not entirely because of his pride, either. It’s the other thing.

Then, Isabel whimpers. Her eyes are two green fishbowls full of tears. “Don’t do this, bro. Let us help.”

She’s right. The longer he goes on without properly stopping the blood, it will grow serious. No choice, it seems.

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose with his clean hand, sighs. “Farlan, gauze. Izz, c’mere.”

Farlan does as Levi asks—though not without muttering, “Finally, you see reason,” under his breath—and so does Isabel.

She crouches down and immediately goes about working the hem of Levi’s shirt free of his waistband. The cotton is plastered to his skin where the injury is deepest, winding up to the right of his navel; his body has clotted some of the blood already.

Before she can slowly peel it past his belly, Levi’s hand lands around her wrist. “Hey, stop for a second. You’re about to learn something about me that’s gonna surprise you. I’m warning you.”

Isabel’s lips press. “You’re so dramatic. It’s fine.” She slaps his hand away.

More gauze and a flask of whiskey to disinfect in hand, Farlan crouches at Levi’s other side. “We’ll worry about surprises when that blood’s under control.”

Fine, then. They’re both completely oblivious, but fine.

Once he’s able, Levi works with Isabel to tug his tunic-turned-blood-rag up and over his head. He keeps wary of stains. Meanwhile, a line of gauze lands over the highest part of his wound, at the bottom of his sternum, as soon as it’s exposed, causing Levi to grunt.

The shirt lands on the table with a wet splat.

Levi covers his breasts with one arm, jaw grit so hard his teeth grind. His waist is still in plain sight, how curvy it is.

“Oh,” Isabel says.

What’s left of the bandages is a mangled mess of cloth that immediately sags down around his lap; it’s partly bloody. Levi tugs them away like nothing has happened, not looking at either of them.

“Huh?” Farlan tears his eyes away from the problem at a hand—“Oh, shit!”—then slaps his arm over his eyes, like he’s been blinded. “Levi, you have—"

Levi gives him a swift kick in the shin. Farlan is lucky this is serious, else he would’ve landed that kick somewhere else.

“That isn’t news to me, you idiot. Don’t get too excited.”

“No!—That’s not what I—!” Farlan seems to be waging an internal war of whether to pull his hand off Levi’s navel or not. “I just didn't expect that.”

“I warned you,” he hisses. “I thought we were worrying about surprises after the blood was under control.”

“I just don't want to... disrespect, or...”

“You’re both idiots,” Isabel softly retorts as she pours whiskey onto a bandage. “Get ready.”

He does, and squeezes his eyes shut with his head turned as she cleans the wound. The sting, high and bright, zaps through his blood, but he takes it.

Farlan doesn’t move, and no one speaks. After settling between Levi’s legs, Isabel gets to work wrapping up his small waist. He holds the bandages in place, his silent breaths quaking.

She goes on. “Warning is stupid, ‘cause…” Her eyes flicker up to Levi's pink face, “I get why. ‘N it's still bro. And you—!“ She reaches, and tears Farlan’s elbow off his eyes, “Quit being weird and just help."

Levi pins his tongue between his teeth and feels his face heat even more. He wasn’t sure what to expect here, but he certainly didn’t predict Isabel being the mature one in this situation.

It feels... nice.

“Okay. Okay.” Farlan squints at first, then takes smaller, sticky bandages out of the kit.

Promptly, Levi shifts his hold so Farlan can do his thing. “Thanks, I guess, for your weird way of respecting me.”

“Ha-ha... Sure. It’s worse down here for women,” Farlan says quietly. “And with you being the strongest, it makes sense, you wanting to keep an image. I just didn’t expect it. I never would've guessed, honestly. You hide it well.”

Frowning, Levi pins his cleavage down a little more. His belly is screaming in agony. “Women can be strong just like some men’re weak. It’s how I’m perceived by them that matters to me.”

“Mm,” Isabel agrees, then glances. Farlan is beet red. “You’ve been acting really weird. What, you never seen a woman’s body before, Far’?”

Farlan’s eyes widen comically. “What?”

“Or have you realized something about your feelings toward our bro?”

Levi’s eyes grow a touch wide. “Don’t you dare answer that, you pervert.”

“Ha!” Isabel cackles. “You hear that? Don’t be a pervert, Farlan! Bro will kick your ass."

Teeth grit, Farlan gets to work sliding clips onto the bandages that will keep them in place. To the tips of his ears, he’s blushing madly. Harder than Levi, even.

He shakes his head. “I heard.”

Levi feels himself relax, looking away from his friends despite himself. A sudden sense of wrongness hit him over the head when Isabel blatantly called his body, him, a woman. That feels right in his head and in his heart, like a large bird rising up inside his chest.

He hasn’t heard himself be referred to that way in a long, long time.

As much as he appreciates the sentiment, it tastes bitter, too. Considering his total disinterest in all things—relationships, sex, and any closer family than these two—that would lead to his nature becoming a secret thing he can find comfort in, considering his total lack of options, how natural it has become to fake it—

It’s going to be a long, long time before he feels this way again.

If ever.

“Levi?” you say gently through the closet door. “How’s it going?”

Levi glares at her own reflection in the long mirror, which casts an image of her own body back at her, and then some. Her lips tug downwards.

Shooting a glance at the assortment of outfits she bought, and some you encouraged her to buy, she frowns even deeper, because none of them look right suddenly—even the summer dress she has on now, which was her favorite in the shop.

It hugs her waist and chest just right, as do the straps hang onto her small frame. The hems, several hues lighter than the main cerulean color, flow around the bottoms of her thighs where she steps, as if the fabric itself was flowing. Sky-blue brings out the color of her eyes, but she just. Can’t. Seem to...

“Levi, sweetheart?” Your voice is as gentle as a breeze.

“I’m not dying in here... Just give me a second.”

It has been several minutes of this.

Levi lets her arm fall from her full chest. Even after joining the Scouts, she never truly stopped binding her chest until you started to encourage her.

She decided to always keep her same hairstyle, though. The short, neat cut represents her mother in a way she could never part with—even though it wouldn’t suit a woman. What upsets her is the stark contrast it makes in her appearance.

And her hands. Her mother’s hands were always silky soft, even dainty, but Levi’s aren’t. Hers are torn by violence. Scarred. Tough.

“I changed my mind,” she tells you dryly through the door. "I’m not putting anyone through the disgust of seeing me like this.”

“Can you at least put me through it...?”

She snorts softly at the way your question ends on a hopeful high note.

Forget the outfit for a moment.

Levi steps closer to the mirror and admires the thick lines of eyeliner you drew on for her. You even groomed her brows, and painted on a pale shade of pink lipstick for her. She had forgotten too much from her early years with her mom “playing princess”.

No earrings. Her ears aren’t pierced, and the idea of wearing clip-ons feels pathetic, even though she did it all the time as a little girl.

She swallows an ugly shame, blinking a time or two. “W-What did you say?”

“Can I see, please?”

“Yeah," she replies. “As long as you’re not taking no for an answer.”

A soft sigh, muffled. “After doing something one way almost your whole life, even if you hated it, it’s hard to change... even though it feels right now. Princess?”

She shuts her eyes as a bright thrill shoots up like a firework in her belly. This whole back-and-forth is petty of her, she knows—mostly it’s unfair to you—but this echo chamber inside her is loud and encompassing. But rusting.

“Yeah?”

“If you decide you want to stop all this, at least for today, it’s fine. I won’t judge you, sweetheart."

Levi bites the inside of her cheek so as to not let the way she feels show on her face, but fails. “I know.”

And she does.

All this, it’s a new development since she allowed you to start helping her in ways she once accepted were helpless. Who she is, who she was, who she is not.

Certain mannerisms—the way she sits down, that straight walk than doesn’t sway her hips, the unconscious lowering of her voice when she speaks—they won’t go away, or not without a lot of fight.

But then she agonizes over how useful these mannerisms really are: the Underground is far behind her, but she remains in a position of important power.

She realizes it’s a shitty way to think, but she doesn’t know how to believe that being the way she wants will earn her the respect the opposite has always guaranteed her.

When Levi is with you, however, all this agony drops off into the background. Affection, attention, touch—it’s so simple for you. She doesn’t feel the need to perform mental gymnastics to fit into a category around you.

She is confused enough on her own as it is.

The sweet names you save just for her, the reverent brush of your palm across her cheek, and it being you, whom she admires so much, treating her in such a way; not like a man acting the part of a woman, not even like a woman acting the part of a man—but as Levi.

It is enough.

For once, it is enough.

Stepping away from the mirror once more, she glances down at her pale, shaven legs. They look to her like a bunch of bony, hard lines to her, but you think differently: you like to point out how long they are, how toned, how thick.

The garters are the color of midnight, in stark contrast to her summer dress, are felt lace. The thin fabric squeezes the soft muscles of her mid-thighs just right, but your opinion on those are worth more to her than her own.

Levi’s hand falls on the doorknob, and turns.

Delighted surprise lights up your features to see her, followed by your look darkening into something much more saccharine.

“Wow,” you murmur, eyes gleaming, which floods Levi full of confidence.

Using that, she sets her hands down around your waist and eyes the collar of your blouse, which has evidently been loosened since she slipped into the closet to change.

“Don’t look so starstruck,” she murmurs. “I couldn’t even pick what shoes to wear... you better not expect me to dress up as well those noble women.”

Her eyes are torn from your collar to your face when you scoop her chin up. Desire oozes off your expression.

Her heart flutters, then soar as two warm palms settle on either side of her full hips.

“Is it...” Levi trails off. “Tell me honestly. Do I look fine?”

Your lip quirks to one side. “Fine? Look at you...”

Your soft lips kiss her on the mouth, trailing down her jaw, causing Levi to huff. Her hand dives into your hair.

“Sorry,” you murmur by her ear. “I just don’t wanna mess up my pretty girl's lipstick, that’s all.”

Levi’s lower half warms to life. Softly she gasps, feeling her face heat. “You better mean that,” she snips as she plays with your blouse’s trimmed hems, knowing. It just reassures her to hear it, to hear you call her your girl.

“I’ll prove it to you, if you want.”

While your soft lips leave a trail down the slope of her neck, Levi’s hand glide up under your top. No bra, just your bouncy, full tits she swallows into her palm. Her clit throbs dully.

“You… really know how to flatter a woman,” she huffs roughly.

“A woman like you?”

Her eyes snap shut. “Yes.”

“Don’t close your eyes,” you murmur, soft and low. “Tell me, how much do I flatter you?”

Levi whines under her breath. She thought the heat of your palm on the back of her thigh, endlessly snapping her garter back was maddening. But now that same hand drifts up between her thighs from the back, lifting light cerulean cotton to expose her delicate pair of sheer panties.

“You look gorgeous in white,” you murmur. “I knew you made a good choice.”

It’s her favorite color.

You stroke her swollen slit tenderly through the thin fabric—just enough to make her flutter, but not enough to please her.

“Fuck,” Levi whispers over your shoulder, clinging.

“This wet already?” You pull up on the hem above her toned ass so it’s taught and tight, and push and pull. Lace slides through her slit and rubs her clit just right.

“Fuck.”

“You’re so sensitive,” you muse, as if your panties weren’t dampening just from doing this to her.

With one hand still working her panties, the other pushes underneath, and effortlessly buries two fingers into her soft pussy.

“Fuck!” Levi gasps. It’s the only thing she can say. Her balance on her own two feet wavers.

You hum shakily her ear, circling her fluttering rim in time with your pull on her panties for her precious clit. “You didn't answer me. How much am I flattering you, Levi?”

“Why the fuck are we still standing here?” she complains. That’s your girl. “You can flatter me b-by fucking me. Properly.”

You relish her heavy breathing by your ear, and the way she can’t even focus to flick your hard nipples any longer. All her energy is going into staying standing.

Her pussy clenches as you piston your fingers with ease, deep inside. So tight.

An urgent hiss of your name vibrates against the shade of your neck.

“Is this not properly fucking?” You’re now fully supporting her with one arm hooked around her waist. You give it to her harder. “Your pussy seems to think so.”

“Mm...!”

Holding her waist means pinning the loose swoops of her dress to the small of her back. Little does Levi know, you get to admire her through your reflections in the mirror. Even though you can’t watch your fingers, now oozing with her cum, push in and out of her, those garters (one size too small), her tight ass, her pretty panties—those are all for your eyes.

Her soft, soaked cunt starts to gush, but you have needs too.

“‘m gonna make you come, okay, angel?"

Levi gasps as your fingers curl in deep, scraping that perfect spot, gaping.

“Y-Yeah? Then what?” she squeaks.

You hiss under your breath, your own pussy fluttering around nothing. The attitude Levi still has in her despite you being knuckle-deep in her cunt in front of your closet door does sinful things to you.

“Anything you want.”

“Wanna, make you come,” Levi speaks faintly by your ear. “Be...”

“Uh-huh? Want you to say it.”

She shudders a soundless moan as you slam them inside, her back curling into perfect arch—just as your knees were starting to grow wobbly.

“Levi,” you moan softly.

She whimpers, so quiet you can barely hear. “B-Be your princess.”

“Good girl.”

You shift, just enough for your thigh to scrape her clit. The heat you feel on your cotton pantleg is searing, then soaking wet.

“Ngh.” Levi’s hips twitch until she finds a rhythm, smearing her clit down in quick, rapid motions.

You firmly fuck three fingers into her tightening cunt. She’s getting close.

“When you make me me come, you’re gonna be smearing your pretty lipstick on my clit.” You curl your fingers. “How’s that sound, baby?”

“Good,” she moans.

That’s your girl.

| levi masterlist | main masterlist |

🏷️: @ackermandick | @midtwenties-angst | @sckerman | @halloweenmedic | @katty | @jayteacups | @notgoodforlife | @peace-for-levi | @chaotic-nick | @b-o-n-e-daddy | @levisbrat25 | + link to sign up

[unethicalexperiments]

what sort of horses do u imagine each sibling having? Not that it exactly matters when riding but hey no rules!!!!

ok i was gonna try and be normal about this but you’ve basically unlocked pandora’s box but for dicks horses

kendall is definitely a hunter rider. he’ll do eq or jumpers if there’s a fun catch ride but hunters draws him in because it’s a much more steadied, calculated discipline. the hunter division is judged on conformation and soundness. so this means part of the judging is based on how nice this horse looks. in a hunter ring, a well-bred, well-groomed warmblood is going to be the winner. another part of hunters is soundness, so that the horse is happy and healthy while being ridden. so, ears forward (happy expression) and even knees over a jump (clean movement, no sign of pain) is what a good hunter looks like. in short, how nice can you make the horse look? when it comes to the actual personality of the horse he likes, he likes a quiet horse. not a strong personality. no preference to either mares (female horses) or geldings (castrated male horses), and definitely a push ride. a push ride is a horse that needs more energy from you in the saddle; leg tight to keep the pace up, probably spurs as well, but a softer bit in the mouth. kendall is a good hunter rider, but, out of the four siblings, kendall enjoys riding the least but does it because the rest do and logan loves it.

shiv, on the other hand, (as i mentioned in the tags lol) is an equitation rider. she likes jumpers also and will do hunters if there’s a nice catch ride. but she really wants to be an eq rider. equitation is basically how well can you ride the horse? the horse should be responding well to the riders subtle movements. if the rider is to go from a posting trot (up and down movement from the rider at a horse who is trotting at a moderate pace) to a sitting trot (sitting rider with a slower but not too slow pace), the judge shouldn’t be able to tell that the rider is asking. equitation can also in the higher levels come down to the riders body. if you’re not tall, skinny, and flat chested, you will lose out to the person who is. eating disorders are a HUGE thing with young equitation riders it’s really unfortunate. anyway, shiv isn’t the best equitation rider but she can afford the best equitation horse. by the time she gets to the big eq (3’6”/1.10m fence height, the highest level of equitation) she gets too frustrated and quits. which is unfortunate because she was an excellent jumper rider. shiv’s type of ride is a mare with a personality. not too much personality, but definitely more than kendall. something that will kick out if she makes a mistake, but not something that will stop at a jump/buck her off.

roman is definitely a jumper. out of all the kids, he enjoys riding the most; he’ll definitely get on anything, but loves jumpers the most. the jumper division is NOT based on clean performance from the horse or rider, it’s based on time. the fastest time with the least amount of faults is the winner. so jumpers, how fast and clean can you go? in the jumper ring, you have an allowed time to complete the course; usually between 60 and 90 seconds. if you knock a rail off of a jump, it adds four faults to your score (this isn’t super important but SOMETIMES this will just be four faults, SOMETIMES this will add four seconds to your time. it depends on the “table”. this is a whole thing but it’s really not important to this). when you’re in the jumper ring, while obviously speed is important, you can’t be too fast and risk knocking a rail down; making tight turns and angling jumps will make for an overall faster ride than flat out running. jumpers are also more relaxed about the “turnout” (fashion/tack/equipment) so you can have a fun colored saddle pad or something. roman definitely likes a horse with a stronger personality as well. and something that’s a much more sensitive ride. a little leg pressure and they’re forward, a little hand pressure and they’re stopped. i have this whole little idea in my head that while roman does love the horses he rides, he never really connects with one until logan decides he wants to start a breeding program and imports a stallion (with an outstanding pedigree, of course). roman ends up adoring this stallion and bonding with him, but logan decides against starting the program for whatever reason and has the stallion gelded (castrated) and sold. roman cries over this when it happens alone in his room and never tells anyone.

connor, however, has kind of an indifferent attitude towards riding. he enjoys it, but he’s not as competitive with it as the other three. he’ll ride whatever in whatever division, but what connor really likes is just taking care of the horses. he loves grooming them, hand walking and grazing them, sitting on the fence while they’re in the field. but of course, there’s hired grooms that are paid to do all of this for the kids. they rarely touch their own horses besides actual time in the saddle; the horses are tacked up and ready when they want to ride, and they hand the horses off again when they get off. connor does some of the grooming himself when logan’s not watching. if connor tried a different discipline outside of the hunter/jumper world, like barrel racing or something, he would enjoy it a lot more. this ties in with his “ranch” in new mexico for me.

this is also something that logan loves, which partially why the kids get so into it. logan doesn’t ride but actually loves watching the kids ride. he thinks that it really does sharpen their competitive edge and communication skills for business in the future. on top of all of that, logan sees himself in the way horses are in modern society. horses not even that long ago were something that everyone had, something that you needed to do farm work and to travel. now, horses are a sign of wealth. even if you don’t ride at the top level, horses are RIDICULOUSLY expensive to care for. logan is a man who came from a not wealthy background to being (probably) one of the wealthiest people in the world in the succession universe. horses are now a luxury, just like he is.

anyway sorry for the 10 page paper of slightly stoned succession horseposting but thank u for letting me unleash this

[wambsgansshoelaces]

Waiting For You

Chapter 1; Dolore

Siobhan Roy x fem!Reader

a/n: i’m in love with shiv thank you goodbye ! hope u enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it x love u all

Word Count: 3.308k

“How crude.”

You turn, seeing her for the first time. Her hips fill out her dress, the collar low cut. That was a lie, though. You’ve seen her plenty of times before. You were co-heads of News at Waystar Royco.

You can barely remember the first time you two met. Your family had been close enough to her father to bring you round often. You’d met when you were five, clicked, and haven’t separated since.

You do remember the first time you’d found her pretty- more than platonically. The feelings were big and, honestly, horrifying. You knew your parents would never accept any sort of same-sex relationship, let alone one that you had. She was, is always so damn ethereally breathtaking. And the tightening anxiety in your chest is telling you what it’s always said; this will never happen.

You and Siobhan Roy stand shoulder to shoulder, staring up at Michelangelo's David.

“You’re a spoilsport.”

“Nobody says that but my mother.”

You try to tune out the chatter around you. “How many people did he fucking invite?” you mutter to her.

“I don’t know. I can’t care enough to ask.”

You knew how she felt about her father remarrying for the third time. She didn’t like it the first time it happened when she was alive, obviously, and the new woman wasn’t an improvement. She was closer to him in age, thankfully, but was almost definitely a massive piece of shit he was marrying because she ‘gives him what he wants’, whatever that means.

The two of you, despite your initial not wanting to come, have to save face. After all, she was his daughter, and you have known him long enough to consider him close to you.

“Where are they, anyway?” you ask, peering out at the crowd.

“Probably fucking.”

“Ugh, you’re fucking gross.” She grins back at you, hooking her arm through yours. Your chest flutters at the touch. You drop your voice low. “You think he’ll do it?”

Kendall and Logan Roy are at war. After painful, elongated internal conflict, Kendall broke away with the support of a few major shareholders. He started his own company, and now there were two large media corporations dominating the world market- both pitted firmly against each other. You didn’t really see Kendall as a villain, nor did Shiv. Honestly, you think you prefer him over Logan.

And since Logan can’t take anything lightly, he’d secretly bought up shares within Kendall’s new company and, as per Shiv’s words, was getting ready for a proxy battle. You knew that the entire reason Kendall quit Waystar was because Logan had refused him the throne, over and over again, despite his promises. And now, his father was after him. Again. Shiv told you he was going to serve Kendall soon. You didn’t know when.

“God, I hope not. It’s too much to think about,” she says back. “It’s already enough that he’s running around shitting on so many journalists. Dad wouldn’t stand a chance against Kendall, if poor Kenny knew what was happening. Anyways, if Dad does anything dumb, we’re going to have to clean it up.”

The two of you take a stroll, arm in arm. Your heels click on the marble tile once you arrive back at the massive stone mansion rented out for you to stay in. Shiv redirects you to the bar. Even though you didn’t drink, you always accompanied her.

Her first glass of whiskey goes down slowly as you watch the people around you. Kendall is minding his business, his kids curled up against him, asleep. You have no idea where Roman is, and you think that’s for the best. Connor and Willa entertain their own group, his arms gesticulating in weird directions. Greg wanders around, drink in hand, chatting idly among the crowd.

Then there they are, at last. Logan, his soon-to-be wife right at his side.

“What’s her name, again?” you ask Shiv.

“Maria, I think.”

“That’s… really similar to Marcia.”

She lifts her shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t know what he sees in her. She runs some press/media company, and first time I met her to tell her to piss off on one of our news sects, she called me a cunt and then released that one paper with a picture of me sneezing.”

You sink into the couch you’re both sat in. “I don’t understand some people.”

“She wants my job. Technically also your job, but mine because she wants me gone.”

“Why?”

“Greedy,” is all Shiv says. “Her company is doing shit. But she stays afloat ‘cos she’s tethered to Dad.”

The elderly couple are making their rounds, greeting all who are gathered. Mostly everyone has flocked back from the art viewing, and the alcohol is beginning to flow. The two finally make it to you, and you and Shiv get to your feet.

“Logan,” you greet him, only giving Maria a slight not. He leans forward and claps a hand onto your shoulder.

“I’m glad you could make it. Tell your old geezer I say hi next time you see him.”

“He’s around here somewhere,” you laugh.

“The bitch has been avoiding me. He has some loudly wrong opinions on tie fabrics, eh, Y/N?” He laughs with you. Here, away from business, he’s a completely different person. You pray he doesn’t serve Kendall during your stay in Florence- this new Logan is a welcome change in persona. Shiv says nothing, eyeing Maria with her lips pursed.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Shiv says finally, whiskey in hand. The amber liquid swirls as her weight shifts from foot to foot.

“Work’s been busy,” Maria says back. “Lots of… digging to do.”

“Really? That must be such an interesting line of work,” Shiv replies immediately, “Anything juicy?”

Maria’s eyes meet hers. “Very.”

You and Logan exchange a glance.

“Well, if you ever need any help…,” Shiv begins, looking between her father and his fiance. “Y/N and I are pretty good.”

Maria presses her lips together in a thin line. “I’ll let you know. But, why talk of work when we are in Italia?” Her Italian accent twists all of her words, making them lilt, dance, and mingle together.

“Because,” Shiv says. “Business can’t just be left alone.”

Maria turns to you. “You share this sentiment?”

“I do,” you say, meeting Shiv’s gaze. “But I’m happy to be in Italy. It’s beautiful.”

“I think our shared ‘sentiment’ is that we take care of things we need to, even abroad,” Shiv continues.

This conversation has too much reading in between the lines than you’d like.

“Oh, don’t you worry, then. You’ll be able to enjoy the wedding day in peace.”

“Just the wedding day?” Logan asks, slightly miffed. “I think I should remind us we’ve agreed to ‘no business’, especially with Kendall and I’s… issues.”

You and Shiv exchange a glance. “No promises, Dad.”

“I’m being serious, Siobhan,” he says gruffly. “No funny business.”

Her whiskey’s all the way gone, now, and the two of you return to the bar. While you wait for her drink, you spot Roman pushing his way through the crowd towards you, buttoning up his dress shirt. He comes to lean against the countertop next to you, and leans close to whisper in your ear.

“Hey, my girlfriend told me to tell you that Maria’s a scheming bitch.”

You snort. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, when my girl was at work at her firm, she overhead a call being taken by one of her associates… She eavesdropped, and apparently, Maria’s been looking into the legal side of business.”

“Why aren’t you telling Shiv this?”

“Because I know you’ll know what to do with this better than she would. Besides, Maria gives me an icky feeling. Fucks with my ju-ju.” He gives your arm a pat. “Fuck my step mother up for me, will you? Thanks.”

You make a face at him and wave him off. He flips you off as he walks away.

Shiv’s now Ieaning against you, glass of presumably more whiskey raised to her plush lips. They’re stained a rich red, offsetting the orange of her hair and making her eyes glint in the bar light. Her lashes flutter against her creamy skin, staring at the bottom of her drink.

“Feeling okay?” you ask over the chatter.

Her cheek presses against your bare shoulder. She’d convinced you to wear some off-the-shoulder dress she said was the ‘pinnacle of style’. She sighs melodramatically.

“All of this bullshitery. Their wedding is all just another stunt. Business wise, press wise. I can’t escape the theatrics,” she whines, taking a sip from her drink.

“What do you mean?” you prod gently. She got a bit erratic when drunk, and even though she was just barely buzzed, you didn’t want to push her to do something rash.

“Their entire marriage.” She leans close, her breath fanning over your face. “I swear she’s marrying him for the money. But look at him, Y/N… he’s so in love.”

You both watch as the couple slow dance together on the makeshift dance floor. Logan’s gazing at her, positively smitten, like Shiv had said. Maria, on the other hand, peers over his shoulder disinterestedly as they twirl around.

“She could at less sell it better,” you mutter. Shiv’s head is back on your shoulder, and she downs the rest of her drink.

“Also,” Shiv begins, turning and flagging down the bartender, “Conner said he saw her at dinner with Wyatt Harson. That guy that runs that other company that’s also miraculously Dad’s biggest enemy.”

Maybe you were wrong about her not being drunk.

“How much have you had…?”

She takes her next drink. “I don’t remember. I don’t care.”

Shiv wasn’t much of a reckless drinker. Something is bothering her.

“Wanna get out of here?” you ask, trying to lure her away from the bar. She nods, taking your elbow.

“Let’s go sit in my room. It has a big-ass living area,” she murmurs, leading the way.

You leave the main atrium, Shiv gripping at her skirts as you make your way up the stairs. When finally in her room, she throws herself onto the sofa and sighs, relaxing.

“So many fucking people,” she groans. “All of them scheming and plotting and villainous. Makes my head fucking hurt.”

You sit next to her, dress skirt pooling at your feet. She’s already finished her drink, and she sets the glass on the small coffee table in front of you.

“Wanna tell me why you’re trying to drink yourself to a bout of early onset dementia?” you ask her softly.

Shiv frowns at you. “How do you know?”

“I’ve known you long enough.”

“I couldn’t say, out there. When there were so many people. When Dad was there.” She sniffs, readjusting so that her legs are propped up on the coffee table. “Maria’s after my job. After me, the company, whatever.”

“I don’t like her either, but we can’t just speculate.”

“I’m not speculating.” She takes a deep breath, centering herself, and probably staving off an oncoming headache. “She’s blackmailing me,” she admits quietly. “She’s dangling information above my head in exchange for garbage on Dad and Kendall’s dispute. She’s… I’m pretty sure she’s trying to take Dad down. Maybe she weaseled her way into the will, I don’t know. But I can’t say anything.”

“Shiv, what the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?” You turn to face her completely, folding your leg under your body.

“It literally happened this morning. I gave her some bullshit lie, saying something about how Kendall was planning to serve Dad instead of the other way around, but lying is only going to work once.”

“What does she have on you?”

Shiv bites her lip, worrying at it with her teeth. “It’s… it’s bad. Like, in my own writing bad.”

“You’re Siobhan Roy. And I love you, Shiv, but you can just lie. You’ve done it before.”

“This is different, Y/N. I… I can’t. She, like, needs to die.”

You blow out a breath of air. “What do you want to do?”

“Kill her,” is her first answer. When you make a face, grimacing, she amends, “Try to figure out what she’s really doing.”

“Better,” you mutter. “How about we just… forget about it? For now, at least. She won’t have any time to do any sort of work, Shiv, promise. We’ll deal when we get back.”

She pouts. You feel your face go warm. Fucking hell, she's gorgeous. “And if she does have time?”

You shrug. “We deal anyway. But, come on, we should be enjoying ourselves. We’re in Florence. Can we just have fun?”

“We always have fun. You’re my only friend. My best one.” She takes your hand and gives it a tight squeeze. “And I really need to puke.”

“Buttering me up so I'll hold back your hair?”

She nods, lips pressing together. You shoo her into the bathroom, following and sitting by her side on the cool tile of bathroom floor. If it were anyone else, you’d have been disgusted, but this was a regular enough occurrence that you could keep her hair from her face with one hand and rub her back soothingly with the other.

After flushing the toilet, she groans. “Why’d you let me drink so much?”

“I literally only saw you drink three glasses. You snuck the other hundred. You should take a break from alcohol, don’t you think?”

She stays silent for a moment, staring into the toilet bowl. You’re sat flush against each other, your skin touching hers from shoulder to thigh.

“I’m sorry,” Shiv says under her breath. You almost don’t catch it.

“No you’re not,” you reply teasingly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

She chews at her lip before glancing sideways at you. “I feel like it’s always like this. You helping me when I do something stupid. I feel… I feel like I never do anything for you. And I don’t… It makes me feel so shitty.”

All you can do is look at her, stunned. In all your years of friendship, she’d never been so vulnerable. It’s the first time you’d ever even heard the words ‘I feel’ come consecutively from her mouth. You hold each others’ gaze, her glazing over with a sudden clarity.

You don’t say anything. You know she’ll talk when she’s ready.

After a few moments, she does.

“I… you’ve been around for so long. You’ve stuck with me for so long. And I… I… I don’t appreciate you enough. I don’t ever tell you how grateful I am to have you with me, that you’re literally my business partner, that we’re together 24/7. I know you mean well, and I’m a shitty person for thinking this, but whenever you’re supportive like this, you love me like this, a bit of me fucking dies inside because I know I’m never going to do something like this for you.”

Quietly, you ask, “But do you want to?”

“I do. I swear I do. You’re such an amazing friend, and I-”

“Shiv, stop.” You press the heel of your palm to the spot between your brows, trying to will away the forming migraine. “I just… Just try, okay? That’s all I ask.” Wordlessly, she leans towards you and gives you a loose hug, burying her face into your shoulder. You return it, pressing her to you tighter than you probably should. “You should go to bed,” you tell her. “You’ll be thankful for it in the morning.”

She sniffs. “There you go again. The perfect friend.” She wipes at her eyes, and you help her get to her feet. Her words bounce around in your brain. A friend. That’s what you are to her, and that’s it. Nothing more, you tell yourself. For your sake and hers.

Shiv’s changed into her pajamas, and you’re about to bid her goodnight so you can go rot in bed. Before you can, though, you remember something.

“Hey, can I ask something weird?”

“Always,” she says, crawling under the covers. You lean against the doorway to the bedroom.

“Don’t you think we should… warn Kendall? I feel horrible, just sitting here, waiting for him to get executed.”

She presses her lips together. “Why would we do that, though?”

“Why not? Honestly, I think he’s a better person, businessman, and boss than your dad is. And Logan’s been shitting on him for no reason his entire life. I’d feel like I wasn’t doing my due diligence if I didn’t say anything.”

She takes a second to think. “You think this can help in the long run?”

“From my point of view, we’re doing him a big-ass favor. And he’s the type of person to actually treat people around him the way they treat him.” You cross your arms over yourself, getting a little cold. “And I really wouldn’t mind jumping ship from Waystar to Kendall.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Shiv snaps suddenly. “Don’t flip. You can’t, and you won’t.”

An uncomfortable silence ensues. Through gritted teeth, all you say is, “Shiv.”

“I’m serious. I’m all for telling Kendall that he’s about to get fucked over, but you can’t abandon Waystar. Not if I’m going to still be there.” She catches the slight tremor that racks through your body from the chill. “But we won’t talk about that now. Like you said… We should be enjoying ourselves.” She breaks eye contact, looking down as she traces over the flowers printed on her duvet with her finger.

You sigh lightly, pushing off from the doorway. “Okay. I’ll go tell him before I go to bed.” You smooth out the wrinkles in your dress. “Good night, Shiv. Sleep well.”

So much for your earlier heart to heart. You turn, about to walk out into the hall.

“Good night, Y/N. Thank you.”

You give her a smile over your shoulder before shutting off the light and closing the door behind you.

You slowly make your way back downstairs, piecing together your speech in your head. The party is still going strong, and you feel like the noise has gotten ten times louder. You spot Kendall at the bar on his own, his thumb gently stroking the wedding ring sitting on his finger. You go to join him, and he gives you a soft hello and a small cupcake he’d mentioned was made by his wife.

“How are you feeling?” you ask quietly. “I know it’s been… a bit much.”

He laughs bitterly. “God. Dad’s been making my life hell. And I can only do so much to keep my wife, the kids, Rava out of it.”

You hum sympathetically. “Well, I hope what I’m about to tell you helps with that.” He turns to you, expectantly. “Mind if we take a stroll outside? The weather is always gorgeous.”

When the two of you are successfully away from any prying eyes and ears, walking through a garden, you let yourself relax. “Your dad has had a new investment interest.”

“Oh? I hadn’t heard.”

“Because it’s in your company.” He stops walking. “He’s secretly buying your shares, Kendall.”

“Oh my fucking god,” he says under his breath. “That’s why- shit, Y/N, that puts a lot into perspective.”

“Spike in purchases?” He nods, grim. “Yeah, thought so. And, uh, Ken?”

He doesn’t say anything.

“He’s going to proxy you.”

“That fucking dirt bag,” he hisses. His entire body tenses up, but he takes a breath, controlling himself. “Thank you, Y/N. This means a lot to me.”

“I thought you deserved to know.” A soft breeze blows back your hair from your face. “And between you and me… I’m glad to lend my help whenever you need it.”

Kendall nods slowly, hands clasping together.

“I’ll make sure to remember that.”

[siren1song]

Merman Dee AU, Anxceit, shell

Me, lover of mermaids: OH WORM??

Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @demidork84

Sea Life

Virgil didn’t like being on land too much. He preferred the open sea, the rocking of a ship under his feet and the salty air blasting his face as he moved around on deck. Preferred hearing his shipmates laughing and singing and working as they sailed, looking for a rich man’s ship to raid, or a village to plunder.

He supposed land had something to offer though, with its pretty greenery and… shops? Maybe?

Listen, Virgil hated going on supply runs when they couldn’t find another ship to raid and take their stock. Like sure, he was good at figuring out how much they’d need to last for a while but being on the sea was so much better than the unsettling stillness of the earth under his feet.

At least he was done with scouting where they needed to hit. He’d taken a week, only spending money on his Inn room, and he was packing up now to get back to the ship so the rest of the crew could pillage and have their fun while he recovered from being on land for too long.

Virgil was shoving clothes into a burlap sack he carried with him everywhere when he went on land, not really caring about being neat or careful with how he got them in there until he heard a thunk and his heart dropped.

Was that..?

He dropped the sack, getting on his knees to dig around in the clothes still on the floor. There was a frantic search for a moment, Virgil holding his breath until he moved a dark colored shirt and a flash of pale cream caught his eye.

Sagging in relief, he picked up the frog shell, fingers brushing over the brown spots decorating it.

Virgil remembered getting this, remembered the man who had given it to him. He wished he could see him again, wished he could give him the kiss he’d always wanted to.

“I want you to have this.”

Virgil looked up from the shell, more confused than he had been when Dee had handed it to him.

“What? It’s just a shell, Dee.”

Dee frowned at that, shifting on the rock he’d chosen to rest on while Virgil sat cross-legged in the sand of the small island next to it.

“No, it’s… important. In ways I doubt you can understand. I won’t try and explain, but if you really think we won’t be able to see each other again I want you to have it.”

Virgil looked back to the shell, turning it over in his hands and admiring the strength he could clearly feel.

“I do really think that. I wish it wasn’t true, I l-” he stopped, clearing his throat for a second as he closed his eyes, “care, about you. I enjoy your company quite a bit. But my captain grows suspicious of my constant leaving of the ship, especially with my usual hatred of being on land.”

Dee was quiet for a moment, then he slid off the rock, tail curling under him in the sand. He put his webbed hand on Virgil’s jaw, gently directing his head towards him so he could look the mer in the eyes, stark yellow and pupils slitted unnaturally.

“I care about you too.”

“Virgil!”

Virgil jumped, nearly dropping the shell in his hands as he whipped his head in the direction of the door, seeing Patton standing there with a bright grin and heaving chest.

“Are you ready? The captain is getting impatient, he wants to set fire to the town and you’re still here with the information for which shops have the best quality supplies!”

He huffed out a laugh, carefully setting the shell into his sack before shoving the rest of his clothes in on top of it.

“Yeah I’m ready, sick of being on land,” he said, pushing up from the floor so he could follow Patton out of the inn.

They ran through the empty dirt cobblestone streets, the bottoms of their shoes (or feet, in Patton’s case) slapping against the stone as they made their way to the docks.

Virgil’s excitement grew when he saw the sea, and then more as he clambered into the boat that would take them to the Mind Palace, a ship that wasn’t yet recognizable but would be, under Captain Sanders’ command.

When they were next to the ship, Patton got ready to call for being brought up, stopping only when he saw the look on Virgil’s face.

“Sometimes, Virgil, I think you love the sea more than anyone else who has ever chosen life on the water,” he said, smiling as Virgil laughed.

“Quite literally born on the water, Pat, I think my love of the ocean is warranted. Come on, let’s get us up on the ship, I’m ready to share my information and then sleep for a fortnight.”

Patton laughed himself, calling up for the two on the ship waiting for them to raise them up to lower the ropes.

“Two days for every one you were on land, as usual. Honestly, Virge, I’d think you were siren yourself if I wasn’t so thoroughly acquainted with your mother.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, helping Patton get the boat ready to go up. It was still weird for him to think that his friend knew his mother so well, especially since Virgil barely remembered her.

It wasn’t much longer until he was back on the ship, taking a moment to cherish the rocking under his feet, breathing in the sea air and the wind blowing through his hair.

“You belong on the water.”

Virgil jumped, turning towards the unfamiliar voice and yelping when he saw the man on the edge of the boat he was standing in.

It was clear the man wasn’t human, with his webbed fingers and finned ears. What was catching Virgil the most off guard was the glowing yellow eyes, pupils sporting a cats eye slit. 

“What?” he asked, confused by the jumble of feelings in chest. 

He couldn’t tell if he was afraid or in love, but his heart was pounding in his chest and this mer was beautiful.

The merman smirked, tilting his head to the side as his eyes went from the unnatural purple hues in Virgil’s hair, down to his torso where thin lines he was born with decorated his ribs under his shirt (how he knew to stop there, Virgil was unsure), then down to his legs.

“I suppose I should rephrase. You belong in the water.”

Virgil gave a disbelieving laugh, sitting back down as he stared at the mer.

“Are you a siren after my heart and life? Or simply a mer after my flesh?”

The man scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I am a siren, but I hold no interest in feeding myself with you.”

“I’m not sure whether to be relieved or offended. Am I not to your tastes, siren?”

The siren lifted an eyebrow, looking over his body again.

“Tell me, pirate, have you ever wondered why you naturally had a shade of color in your hair that other human’s never had?”

Virgil hummed, removing the shiv he had hidden in his boot so he could play with it between his hands. A simultaneous warning and fidget. 

“I have, but it’s never been something that’s bothered me. I know how to hide it, whatever it may mean, and it does nothing but look pretty.”

The siren nodded, resting his chin over his arms as he watched Virgil.

“I suppose, if it doesn’t bother you, I won’t push,” he commented, earning a look of befuddlement from Virgil.

“I wasn’t aware there was something to push.”

The siren shrugged, but didn’t give Virgil any more than that.

With a sigh, Virgil let it drop. He was sure he didn’t want to know anyway. Sirens were known for telling men what they wanted to hear to lure them to their deaths, so it was for the best anyway.

“Do you have a name?” he asked, cleaning the dirt from under his nails with the shiv, glancing up only when the silence after his question stretched just a bit too long.

“I do. Are you sure you want to know it, pirate?”

Virgil hummed in thought, pressing the tip of the shiv to the tip of his finger.

“I think I do. You’re a beautiful man, siren or no, it’d be a shame not to at least learn your name.”

The siren lifted his head, staring at Virgil with wide eyes the unnatural glow they were giving off in the dark seeming to get brighter as his face began to glow a soft yellow.

“…My name is… complicated to share, in its entirety in human languages. But you can call me Dee.”

He smiled, looking up at the stars.

“Dee, hm? My name is Virgil.”

“Virgil? Are you okay?” Patton asked, waving a hand in front of Virgil’s face and making him jerk back in surprise.

“Huh?”

Patton’s concerned expression deepened, looking at Thomas who Virgil only just realized was standing in front of him with an equally concerned look.

“You haven’t been responding to us for the last few minutes, and Thomas here has definitely been trying to talk to you.”

Virgil flushed, rubbing at the side of his neck and avoiding looking Thomas in the eye.

“Sorry Captain, just relieved to be back on the water.”

Thomas nodded, though he didn’t look like he believed the lie. Which was fair, Virgil wouldn’t have believed it either.

Dee would be disappointed.

“Alright. I just need the list of locations, Virgil, and you can rest, though you’ll have to stay on deck, Logan played with something that made him sick again and Roman is taking care of him so they can’t keep watch like usual.”

Virgil nodded, listing the places he found that the crew should focus on raiding, already eyeing the railing on the far side of the ship where there was rope coiled for him to sit in.

It took an hour before Virgil was alone again, sitting against railing of the ship and staring up at the stars.

He missed looking at the night sky with Dee. The siren often had something interesting to say about whatever new thing he found that fascinated him. Virgil had fun, misleading him about whatever he’d shown him, laughing when Dee would catch on that he was lying through his teeth about the use of a fork he’d found or a rusty candle holder, likely retrieved from a shipwreck.

“I see you still stare at the stars as if you want to join them,” a familiar voice said, making Virgil straighten from his slouched position, turning towards the voice with wide eyes and-

“Dee!” he shouted, a grin spreading on his face that quickly dropped in concern as he looked around the ship.

Logan and Roman may be below deck, but Virgil still worried about the siren getting caught.

Dee rolled his eyes, heaving himself up until he was sitting on the ship wall, tail leaving a puddle of water on the deck beneath him.

“Oh don’t worry so much Virgil, I can take care of myself.”

Virgil looked back at the siren, letting out a small laugh because yeah, that was true.

“Yes, I remember watching you take on a massive shark for fun. Still, what are you doing here? It’s been years since we’ve last seen each other, I’d figured you’d forgotten me by now.”

Dee went quiet, looking up at the stars- a habit he seemed to pick from Virgil, since he himself did that whenever he needed to think.

“I could never forget you, Virgil. You may be a pirate, but you’re still... I still love you, even if I never told you that to your face.”

Virgil’s breath hitched, unable to respond as he looked at Dee with wide eyes.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why now. Well...” Dee looked down at him, smile soft, “would you like to learn something new about yourself?”

Virgil hesitated, standing from the deck so he could be level with Dee’s eyes as he thought.

“If you’re the one showing me? I suppose that couldn’t be a bad thing.”

Dee snorted, rolling his eyes as Virgil grinned.

“You’re a sap, Virgil.”

“I’m a romantic, Dee. Though don’t tell anyone. My crew mates will get insufferable if they learn that.”

Dee smiled softly, holding out a hand, an offer for Virgil to take.

Why did Virgil feel like if he took it, his entire life would change?

“Kiss me, Virgil. Let me taste you.”

Dee’s voice was soft, and Virgil felt as if his heart would burst from his chest at the request.

He didn’t even think twice, taking Dee’s hand in his own and surging forward, pressing his lips to the siren’s in a passion he wasn’t known to give anything but the sea.

Dee wrapped his free arm around him, his hand shifting to his wrist as they kissed and he held Virgil close.

And then they were free falling to the water, Virgil not even able to hold his breath before he was submerged.

Honestly, he hoped Dee had a reason for this. He hoped he wasn’t being betrayed someone he loved, not again at least.

“Relax, Virgil, I promise if you open your eyes you’ll see that you’re fine.”

How was he able to hear Dee’s voice so clearly?

Why weren’t his lungs burning? Why wasn’t he drowning?

“Open your eyes, love.”

Virgil opened his eyes as Dee asked, first seeing the siren’s apologetic face.

“Sorry for the shock, it needed to happen for the change.”

“Change?”

Virgil had spoken without thinking, and it had taken a moment for him to recover from the shock of water filling his throat. But it hadn’t hurt and it was gone with a bizarre push coming from his ribs.

“Look down, Virgil, really,” Dee teased, laughter ringing in his tone.

He always did find Virgil’s confusion amusing.

Virgil looked down.

At first, he didn’t know what he  was supposed to be seeing. There was Dee’s pale yellow tail, swishing lazily in the water, skin shimmering in the moonlight reaching into the sea. It was something Virgil loved to look at.

And then he saw the dark purple sheen underneath him, fear spiking until he realized it was connected to his waist.

He had a tail.

[homonculos]

succession posting (s2, ep 6)

-kendall is the best out of all of them. i can say this as a cancer and an oldest child, that capricorn man is misunderstood. i like how he loves his children, including his autistic child, and i like how he is respectful to people lower than his station. anyone who is like “but he has a drug problem hes irresponsible!” shut the fuck your mouth. we do not accuse addicts in this house. however, i will admit that kendall is not a strong businessman without daddys money, which makes him pushy and shallow.

-i really dislike siobhan (shiv). i think shes a spoiled brat who transparently uses people. i dont even think she wants to run the company, i think she just wants to wear a little crown that says “ you win!!!!” on it bc she cant handle losing in any capacity. shes a daddy’s girl with no friends and nothing to show for her work, and tries to make up for it after she gets fired from her political job and decides to wander into her dads office. that said, i think she would be the most capable of running the company smoothly but perhaps without much of a growth strategy.

-i really REALLY dislike romulus (roman). hes a privileged, spiteful, classist worm that likes to pull the “bother a huge guy until he pulls his fist back to hit you, then goes ‘heyyy im just a little guy!” sort of deal. i think he would be the absolute worst at running the company, and i think his issues w bullying/intimacy demonstrate how stunted he really is. i feel for him as a victim of abuse but i am not considering that a pass for being an asshole

-connor is boring and he confuses me. should not be in charge of anybody.

-logan himself is an awful man. i get the whole dynamic of built the house u live in vs had a house since birth disparity btwn him and his kids, but he fucking hit an autistic child in the face. he is verbally abusive. he is emotionally abusive. he has no respect for anyone. its really his fault he doesnt have a successor, because he should have been a better dad and not made such fucked up kids.

-marcia is interesting and i want to know much more about her. she pains me a little bit because i sense that theres something going on with her and logan along the lines of “he is mean to the whole world except me”, which is just a prelude to the abuse u will suffer once he decides youre no longer of use to him. so for that reason, her smugness gets on my nerves, bc im worried for her storyline when it goes south. personality wise tho, shes alright. shes very believably european, and i like how she sometimes puts the kids in their place. she IS a stepmom tho, so she is on thin fucking ice.

-tom. wambsgans is the dude from your high school who was in theater or on yearbook or something that never had any actual power but acted like he was important, bc if he was really in charge of something hed ruin it, which everyone knew. hes unlikeable but because he keeps getting the patsy, its hard to blame him for the way he acts. i dont think he could run the company without some serious help. he has no real values nor motivations except Self Preserve, which i find lame.

-cousin greg is an odd little comic relief sasquatch fella and im just grateful they didnt cast Jonah from Veep to play him. im still early in this show but i hope he ends up with some actual power except the blackmail thats about to blow up in his face.

-stewy is actually my favorite cos hes a complete scumbag, but hes upfront about it AND hes funny. AND hes not playing power games. he literally is just all about the money so theres no subterfuge w him. i hope he gets the company and turns it into like, idk the snapchat news page.

anyway thanks for reading feel free to fight me on this, i would love to discuss! also im only on season 2 ep 6 so no spoilers pls thanks u

[nopenname23]

here’s a shitpost of me playing the click and drag game <3

If you wanna play too, here’s the link X.

KUROO is your Best Friend & BOKUTO is your Sibling

THE KUROO AND BOKUTO FRIENDSHIP ALDKJASDLK. Just living for the imagery of your older brother and your best friend having the BEST broromance?!?

I love it. You’d be the three musketeers

Bokuto is the best big bro and u won’t tell me otherwise

He’d definitely act like 5 years younger than you sometimes, even though he’s a year older

You’d call him nii-chan esp when he’s in emo/baby mode 

You’d pep him up in a second when you say “but nii-chan can do anything!”

[[Akaashi (despite his understanding of Kou and abilities to control his funk) is admittedly quite jealous of the immediacy and certainty of your ways]]

Anyways, yeah yeah, kuroo was your brother’s bffl first

But over time he’s just been really dependable and like the /actual/ older bro of your group

Guh I love this dynamic a lot

ATSUMU is your Rival 

Same year.

Same class.

Every year.

Sometimes you think it’s fate’s cruel joke.

You’ve got a rivalry going with Atsumu that has only been going on since pre K

It started with you two competing to make the biggest and prettiest sandcastle

To this day, no one knows who stomped on whose first, but everyone remembers the tears and the screaming blame game

In the present, he’s your rival in the sense that you try your best to destroy each other’s egos

Relentlessly.

Your interests are vastly different, but your temperaments are quite the match

Aka Atsumu loooves your reactions

And you take his bait Every. Time.

At the end of the day tho, somehow you still got each other's backs

You stick with the same circle of friends 

There's this one time when you gave him the silent treatment for a while and he was very very confused.

He tried to play nice but even then u weren't having it

(Tbh it was like shaking the bottle of a carbonated drink. You felt it, but you seemingly had the patience of a saint)

Atsumu starts to get hurt by this bc even though you never gave each other a break, he's never considered you not a friend

He withdraws and his silence actually shakes the bottle more somehow 

So when he mutters an offhand comment about you always being late under his breath at a group hangout

You burst.

LIKE YOU DON'T MAKE US ALL WAIT WHILE YOU PUT THE GREASE ON YOUR MUSTARD HEAD? 

o.o

He's stunned (along with everyone else) but it only lasts a second bc everything is back to normal and this feels way better than being ignored

Ughhh why don't you just go home it seems like you haven't prepared your public manners yet >:(

"Don't worry, y/n. I'm not going anywhere. :)"

"KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF BUD ISTG—"

"Did you hear that everyone?? We're buds :)"

TENDOU Plays Volleyball with You

When you were younger, you’d accompany Kou and Kuroo to the community volleyball spaces

And when no one Tendou’s age wanted to play with him, there you were

And the cutest friendship blossomed <3

It was fun, he taught you a lot (and while your technique has improved, you don’t love the effort it takes to chase the ball lol)

You mostly just toss back and forth while you gossip

You both are THE BIGGEST shittalkers 

You LIVE to just chat and each other’s antics (you both like to poke fun at others’ egos and laugh about it together later lol. I love a bully duo)

Dw this duo doesn’t make their victims cry or anything

Like max is poking fun at Semi’s casual clothes and saying he looks weird (even though he looks damn fiineee)

SEMI Takes You Out on a Date

speaking of Semi...

SEMISEMISEMI

[[PLEASE TAKE ME OUT MY MUSICALLY GIFTED BB]]

You’ve lowkey crushed on this beauty for a while

But there’s like too many degrees of separation between ya

He goes to tendou’s school, he works at the record store, he’s in a local band

He's so cool and hot and you have no nerve to talk to him

Luckily (or not) tendou somehow makes a date happen

(Tbh I don't think semi knows it's supposed to be a date but it def is for you!!)

You've only waited your whole life for this moment.

You’d go to the movies or something generic (bc you want to plan it out to a tee and make it perfect so u go with cliche bc this is everything you want to tell your grandkids etc)

Yay! Date with semi~

KAI Cockblocks You

(fyi I know next to nothing about Kai, but he gives off v nice guy with a nice smile vibes)

So on your date with Semi, Kai also happens to be working at the movies that day

You’ve been v excited about this date and have maybe overprepared

(as in pretty much scripted the entire thing)

Part of your plan was to see the latest horror film (you think it’ll make you look tough... and you pre-watched it so that you wouldn’t do anything too embarrassing and could come up with quippy lines/reactions)

As you approach the ticket counter, there’s this guy there with a nametag reading Kai

Turns out that horror movie is sold out :/

So Kai suggests a different movie bc it’s playing at the same time

!! 

-This is fineeeee. You’ll make do. Stick to the script.-

Too bad the movie’s a Schindlers List type of show 

:$

Everything goes NOT according to plan from this point on

You act super awkward (aka major performance anxiety)

You say lines that you prepared for the jumpscare scenes at the dramatic ones in this film

It. is. Not. cute.

No recovery available. 

Sorry.

You had plans to eat after but it was a heavy movie and semi thinks it'd be best to part ways here 

O.o 

"oh. ok...bye"

You don't go to the record store anymore. 

Sigh.

So, therefore, Kai inadvertently “ruined all and any semblance of romantic feels that could and would have developed!!”

It’s no fault of his own, but you refuse to forgive him. Ever. 

Poor guy :(

(Later you see him playing at a Nekoma match with Kuroo, ur bffl, and you highkey shoot him glares the whole game lol. Gives him SEVERE shivs)

Again, poor guy. 

KITA was your First Kiss

When you were in middle school Kita was your first kiss after some freak ‘accident’ on suna’s part HAHA

[[or maybe, casual middle school bf bc he was the nicest friend and you walked home together, held hands, and then tried to kiss and were both like lol nah]]

Dw he’s been very chill about the whole thing, apologises and lets you know it doesn’t count and he’s still your pal (sweet bb)

Atsumu looked on with a surprised raised eyebrow open mouthed look like D8<

If anything, Atsumu is the one who doesn't let anyone forget this happened

YAMAGUCHI Has a Crush on You

Yamaguchi (and all other ‘nice boys’) crush on you because you give off sweet and quiet and perfect wife-y material vibes 

Little do they know when you’re with your pals, you’re the rowdiest of the bunch, got the mouth of a sailor, and just the biggest roaster of anyone and everyone

So he has a crush on you for a while 

But he never talks to you and that's cool~

?????? Is Your Boyfriend

Tbh i have no clue who that character is... dkm lol

You probably had a period where you forgot his name too

You call him petnames to get around that

You’re mostly dating bc he confessed to you and he seems like he rly likes you so you thought the attention would be nice :)

Atsumu definitely gives you the HARDEST time when he catches on that you don’t know your bf’s name/anything about him.

It is 100p THE. WORST.

He def baits you when you’re in a large group setting with your bf to embarrass you (ex. “Okay, now y/n is going to order us by our first names/birthdays/day we first met her! >:)”)

Yeah, so this relationship lasts longer than it realistically should (but not really that long, you don’t waste ur best years with him or anything)

[stripesysheaven]

For the stargirl character ask thingy

Cameron

Why I like them: he’s the son of a villain and he obviously is going to end up a villain, and yet he has a very kind heart. cameron is a character that has all the reasons in the world to be angry and mad, and yet he puts his pain into art, and uses that art to make others happy. him covering up the writing on yolanda’s locker with flowers was the moment i really started to like that kid. sure maybe he did it for courtney, but at the same time he barely knew her back then. and knowing how kind hearted his father is (ignoring his evil side) it’s easy to see that cameron is just a genuinely good kid. also cindy making fun of him offhandedly (something similar to “art freak”? i need to rewatch the shiv episodes sometime) really showed that while he’s nice, like with joey, it doesn’t make him one of the cool kids. maybe knowing that he’s a normal kid that isn’t super popular but is still a nice person makes him more lovable to me

Why I don’t: ngl im one of those ppl that gets nervous as soon as i see a straight relationship on tv bc they can be written badly sometimes and fall into plots that make the women look bad, so when we were introduced to him by him obviously being courtney’s love interest i was kinda unsure at first, but honestly i’ve enjoyed him on the show. i’m glad she isn’t obsessed with him and i’m glad he has a future outside of being her love interest, so that’s exciting! and honestly im excited for a lovers to enemies (to lovers?) plot and seeing how they navigate that

Favorite episode: episode 3!! icicle!! loved seeing him as a little kid, and the background story make you understand his softness and his love for art. makes him an enjoyable character

Favorite line: he has more of a “man of actions” vibe instead of a man of words. i don’t really have a favorite line of his, but him covering up the words on yolanda’s locker was a very memerable moment of his that i think spoke louder than words. shows he has a good judge of character

Favorite outfit: i find it interesting how cameron wears a green jacket in most of his scenes, green being the color that symbolizes most of the villains on the show foreshadows a lot how he is going to end up, but the specific outfit that cameron wears when he watches joey do his magic act with courtney switches it up by wearing a green undershirt and a blue shirt over it. blue could symbolize his good side, but more likely is referring to him one day becoming icicle (the picture below is of said look, ignore the bad quality i got it off google)

OTP: i wouldn’t call myself a camney stan, though i must say i like it way more than i expected to. i am interested in seeing the future of the two’s relationship. will they ever actually go on a date or skip to the enemies stage in the relationship? will they be only enemies one day or be somewhere between enemies and lovers?? i am curious what they will be like next season

Brotp: the only kid he has interacted with is courtney. like. there’s no one else?? he knew joey. they were friends apparently??? maybe???? joey for canon and henry for fanon thank u

Head Canon: anime nerd. i’m not even into anime, he just has the vibe

Unpopular opinion: hmmm. well there’s a small portion of the fandom that likes cameron but doesn’t see him as straight. that likes the idea of him and henry jr being together, and i gotta admit its cute. though if i want to go into extreme unpopular opinions, considering i’m an icewave fan, i also like the idea of them as stepbrothers? (obviously two very different thoughts that don’t relate or overlap, im not like that thank you very much) anyway at the very least it would have been cool to see cameron and henry jr interact since i can’t think of any scenes of them together, it would be cool to see a friendship between them

A wish: let him be good-evil like his father but still be in love with courtney. if it’s not obvious i do love an enemies to lovers plot and i hope we get those vibes for them

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i hope they don’t change his writing in season 2 too dramatically. if jordan really is dead (or more likely, cameron thinks he’s dead) i’m afraid of how much they’ll change him. i know he needs to have a story arc of him turning into the next icicle, but i’m just afraid of how it will get there. if he ends up being overly angsty or angry, in a way that doesn’t fit his current characterization it could get weird. i also understand that his mom’s death was longer ago so his response to her death vs his father’s “death” will be very different

5 words to best describe them: artistic. light. kindness. floral. family.

My nickname for them: ice boi

[solasan]

hey Mollie! i see you've created a new V 👀 what crimes will she commit?

anon i literally cannot express enough how sorry i am that this has taken so long but i FINALLY have verona lore to drop so let’s go thank u for asking abt her i am in deep love with you

(under a cut bcos this will probs get long ??? tw for miscarriage and toxic, somewhat abusive relationships)

her full name is verona vitória guerra valdez but if u heard that no u didnt. she was nicknamed ‘vv’ by an Important Person In Her Life who we’ll get to in a minute, and that just eventually became ‘v’

she is the Definition of be gay do crimes by which i mean shes bisexual and likes explosions

fuck canon she’s not 22 she’s 32 by the time of the game’s events so she was born in 2045. shes a scorpio 😙✌

she wasnt born into the bakkers clan !!! she was actually born into the jodes clan, which is the clan she stayed with until she was in her early twenties 

she grew up fiddling with cars and crafting stuff and helping w the guns and stuff so shes very Technically Comfortable. also hotwiring cars eventually became hacking into low-end devices which during the game finally becomes full-blown netrunning hell yeah for her

seriously shes the queen of sneak attacks, stealth, quickhacking, and datamining. love that for her

both her parents are dead rip in pieces. her mom died when she was like three but her dad died when she was nineteen

(he got killed in a raid by some raffen shiv it was all very dramatic and sad. verona did avenge him tho so thats the first time she killed :)) 

to this day she hates raffen shiv Very Much and im not 100% on her whole moral philosophy on killing bcos i usually just do non-lethal takedowns but she Absolutely Kills The Shit Out Of Them if she comes across them

in 2068 when she was twenty-three she met rafael ibarra, a member of the bakkers clan, on a job that went wrong 

(this is the Important Person In Her Life so hello ‘vv’)

they struck up a kinda volatile destructive relationship that largely consisted of bickering and talking shit and lots of smirking and also just. hooking up on every piece of furniture they could find shdjsdlk

they’ve literally shot each other before. love that for them

(also johnny reminds her of rafael at times which she very much Does Not Appreciate shdjskdksd)

anyway about a year into this (2069 haha n*ce), verona falls gregnant (uh oh) and they basically have a shotgun wedding (mistake)

verona joins the bakkers clan, moves in with raf, yada yada yada, neither her nor him are rly content w life but they kinda figure alright well. we gotta be grownups for this fucking kid ig

only no they dont, surprise !!! bcos verona has a miscarriage abt two / three months in during that period when it’s a lil touch-and-go

now neither of them were exactly looking forward to being parents anyway, and actually spending regular time with each other outside of jobs and arguments and sex has proven that actually theyre very badly suited for each other, so in some ways this is a relief

however. they are still married. verona left her whole life for raf and this future that never even happened, so it’s very complicated just. Emotionally.

they spend another two years sort of trying to make it work bcos they just dont know what else to do. things get very toxic and abusive on both sides during this time; lots of things are thrown, lots of nasty shit is said, they’re constantly walking out on each other and then going back

but then after two years (2071, verona’s twenty-six) both of them are just. exhausted. and theyve had enough of each other and this situation. and verona just wants that future she was promised, not so much as in she wants to have a marriage and babies, but just that she wants to have Something, bcos her life has just been a whole lot of nothing these last few years

so she walks out. im not sure if her and raf ever even formally get a divorce or if she just makes a split-second decision one day while she’s driving and never comes home

anyway she ends up taking that smuggling job with jackie as we know and then once they come to night city theyre both super close. she stays at the welles house for the first like year or so; her and mama welles are super close, bcos verona’s never had a mom around really and she just. loves having that figure now

after the first year she’s saved up enough through jobs and also hustling the shit out of gamblers with jackie that she moves out of the welles place. she still comes over every sunday for dinner. mama welles often refers to her as a daughter. jackie has taken on his assigned little brother role with relish

her and jackie spend the next five years working jobs to get by and trying to Make Something Of Themselves. viktor steps in to be verona’s surrogate father so now she has 2 parents hell yeah. 

and then that all just eventually leads to the game’s events

thank u anon again ur very sweet for asking abt her im so sorry ive taken so long to answer this shdjskdksk