#anyway... just thinking if i should edit my old post and remove the old gifs with the new ones

[cybernaght]

The Rebel/叛逆者: A Review of Sorts

After being only semi-invested in the Rebel, I ended up getting so into it in the final weeks of its release, I’ve shelled out on IQIYI premium just to get the final couple of episodes a few days earlier.

That’s right kids, it’s a Review of Sorts. Unfortunately, I could not find a translation of the novella the drama is based on, so will be looking at it as a separate entity. 

Most of this post is spoiler-free, however I have dedicated a few paragraphs at the end of it to discussing the final episode, as there are a few specific things about it I wanted to mention. There is a clear spoiler warning before that part.

If you don’t want to risk it, TL;DR version of this review goes something like this: Rebel is very decent, and positively one of the best things that I have seen to come out of China since I’ve jumped into that particular rabbit hole. It’s pretty well written, it’s very beautifully dressed and shot, and the cast is killing it. I thought it dropped the ball a little in post production, and I did not always love the pacing. Other than that, it’s incredibly decent, and well worth watching, unless communist propaganda really irks you, in which case stay very well away. 

I have been having many conversations with @supernovasimplicity​ all the way through watching this drama, so there are likely to be some thoughts here that are influenced by those. 

The story centers around Lin Nansheng, a struggling servicemen in the Guomingdang party. He has a great analytical mind, and absolutely no emotional capacity for his job. He has trouble handling violence, he is impulsive, he cannot speak to his superiors without bursting into tears, and has nothing even remotely resembling a poker face. And that is what makes this drama as enjoyable as it is. 

I don’t think Lin Nansheng’s journey would have been nearly as exciting had he started it from a place of competence. He botches up everything he touches because his big brain switches off the moment his emotions kick in. And so, when you see him grow in confidence, learn to control himself, learn to fake his smiles and compliments, you can’t help but feel a strange sense of pride. It also makes Lin Nansheng very likeable as a character for reasons other than Zhu Yilong’s ability to look like a bush baby.

It did take me a while to feel fully engaged with his performance - not because there is anything lacking in it, but just because it’s hard to be truly surprised by his choices after the exposure I have given myself to his work. That said, at about a half-way point I got charmed by him anyway, and there were quite a few scenes that were truly mesmerising. There were scenes where he broke out of the familiar mould of big unguarded eyes and fluttering wet eyelashes, and tried something that was not pretty: every time to a great success. I am hoping to see more of that in his future work. 

I really wanted to like the female lead, Zhu Yizhen, but unfortunately both the way she was written and the way she was performed by Tong Yao left me somewhat cold. It did not help of course that the screenplay ended up sidelining her at every turn, leaving her with very little personal agency. She was set up so interestingly, but in the end her sole purpose became being someone for Lin Nansheng to pine over. It is particularly curious from a perspective of meta storytelling: seeing how this is all centered around superiority of communism, which as a whole was, arguably, ahead of its time in the matters of binary gender equality.

The ensemble cast of the drama is stunning. Wang Yang came very close to  stealing the show at several points as Chen Moqun, somehow managing to make his rather unlikeable character interesting. I can say the same thing about Zhu Zhu who absolutely shined as Lin Xinjie, showing an incredible range and imagination in her performance.

The overarching story of the show is engaging, with some incredibly suspenseful elements; every narrative arc including a nice progression through it. As spy thrillers go, it was fairly well plotted. You could if you go looking for a few things that did not pay off in a satisfying way (notably, the Chekhov’s cyanide capsule), but you overall the story really was well told for the most of it. 

I did, however, feel like the pacing started to fall apart in the last quarter of the drama. Last episode in particular really did feel rushed, not just due to its pace, but also in a way it failed to pay off the final mission in any visible way. There will be more on that in the spoiler section of this post.

Important to note that The Rebel is a show made in Communist China in the year 2021. It does not ideologically side-step from the path that was laid out for it by that fact. Which is to say, it is, undeniably, filled with propaganda. Communists are the good guys, and if you think a good guy (or gal) is not a communist, they probably secretly are. With one exception of a friendly character who is not a communist, and whose fate we actually never find out. Curious, that. 

The Rebel is not a kind of a show where censorship-appeasing scenes are shoehorned in. It’s a kind of a show in which the main theme is Sacrifice For the Party.

Aside from the being the moral vector of the show, Mao’s gentle teachings explicitly help get Ling Nansheng out of prolonged depression following his injury, and almost annoyingly, this sat incredibly well with the character, as he was written. Lin Nansheng is conceived as this naive idealist who wants to be on the front line, who needs validation and support of others. His - and I can’t believe I’m saying this - his being disillusioned in his beliefs and choosing to join a party which includes people whom he likes and trusts makes sense. Him finding this one thing that gives him hope and letting it propel him into gaining confidence and competence makes sense. 

In many ways, the Rebel is a story of Lin Nansheng’s failure to become an antagonist within the world of the drama.

I have honestly spent this past couple of weeks pondering whether being well written makes political propaganda better or worse, whether the subtlety of it makes it more or less palatable, whether it’s enough, as a viewer, to be aware of it to shrug it off. Ultimately, this is not something I could or should make moral judgements on, but I do believe that it’s possible to acknowledge the fact that propaganda exists in the drama, and still appreciate it for a good piece of television that it is. 

That said, I am very well aware that me being kind of okay with it stems entirely from my own removal from the culture this is made in, and I am, perhaps, lucky to even have a choice as to whether I want to engage with a product which is, undoubtably, here to dress political ideology in fancy clothes.

I have, on the other hand, also seen many things in Russian media of the “Annexation of Crimea is Good Actually” variety and those make me feel very unwell, so feeling somewhat at ease with blatant political propaganda in Chinese media makes me the biggest hypocrite.

But, I digress.

Before we go into some specific plot-related things, I would like to mention that the Rebel has this weird dichotomy in which the production is sublime, and the post-production… not so much. The show very well shot. Every element of it sits perfectly together, not a single prop out of place, not a single extra underdressed, not a page of script not put to good use. It’s lit to perfection. It’s scored beautifully. So much of this show is just stunning.

And then… there is post-production. 

This is not even about bad CGI (and the CGI is, indeed, bad), it’s just that most of post-production as a whole feels rushed.

Starting with surprisingly imperfect editing, which at times just fails to make the scene flow together. The final line of dialogue would be spoken within a scene, and it would fade to black instantly without a single breath to indicate a full stop. A montage sequence would be created, but every shot within it condensed to a second, making it feel incredibly fast-paced when the effect should be the opposite. There would be a cut away from a speaking character and to the same speaking character from a slightly different angle, making it dynamic without any reason to do so. There are a couple of truly startling jump-cuts.

I did not speed this gif up. This is part of a romantic montage, edited like it’s a goddamn action sequence.

And of course dear old friend slowing down footage shot at 24FPS. Please don’t do this. You think no one notices - but we do.

There are other tell-tale signs of production rushing to the finish line: occasional, but very noticeable ADR glitches, very sloppy job done at sound mixing, which contribute to parts of the show feeling ever so slightly off.

It’s not unforgivable, but it does make me wish the same amount of care and efforts that went into shooting this drama would also go into it after it was all in the can. 

Oh, and just because if you know me you know I have a professional fixation on fights, and I am happy to say most action scenes are toe-curlingly delightful. Hot damn those fights are good. I am absolutely in love with the shot below, for example. Placing an actor behind a piece of set so he can exchange places with the stunt double during a one shot is such an old trick, but the execution, timing and camerawork are just... flawless. This is what perfection looks like.

Now we got all that out of the way...

SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES FINALE BELOW

Here’s the thing. I wanted to love the ending and I found that I could not.

The final mission was presented as important, and honestly the scene in which Zhu Yizhen is sending the vital message out as Lin Nansheng holds his ground in hand to hand fight is incredibly dynamic. Party, this is due to the fight itself being incredibly well choreographed, yes, but it’s also where it sits within the narrative, how high the stakes are for everything surrounding it. 

But then, the tension all but bleeds out. The Important Message is sent, the fight is won, and we are treated to ten minutes of a very slow car chase, problem of which is not even its speed as much as its placing within the story. As in, by this point both of those operatives have lost their cover, and completed their Very Important Mission. It would be very sad if they died, but their survival does not technically contribute to their cause. Moreover, Zhu Yizhen getting mortally injured in order to protect Lin Nansheng as part of her mission read a little empty when the mission is technically over. 

While I personally found Lin Nansheng slow recuperation and his low key ending enjoyable, I think I would have preferred to have seen a more tangible pay-off to all the sacrifices made in the name of “bright communist future”, just a little more justification for every moment of death and despair we witnessed. I would have certainly at the very least preferred to see Wang Shi’an’s death on screen. Considering how many likeable characters martyred themselves on screen, denying us the death of the one antagonist just seemed cruel. 

I really did love the ambiguity of the final few scenes however, if we consider the children choir at the end a fantasy. The idea that Lin Nansheng will live out his life in this hope that Zhu Yizhen is still alive, imagining her just outside of his field of vision, his only joy being in this fantasy of her… now, that is incredibly strong. I equally like the idea of rest being promised to him at the end of his journey, and said rest being painful, and slow and unwelcome.

But it felt like as they chose not to to lean into the “sweet” part of the bitter-sweet tone of the ending and we’re unable not commit to the “bitter” part either, so it lands with a splat which is somewhat lacklustre. 

---

This concludes my thoughts on the Rebel. 

I am more or less out of Zhu Yilong’s filmography to watch, which is probably a good thing at this point. I have just emerged out of several back to back work projects - literally today - and will hopefully once more have time for things I grew to enjoy doing during the lockdown. 

Those things, if you have not guessed, include watching Chinese television and writing things about Chinese television. 

[polyjoly]

I posted 1,045 times in 2021

15 posts created (1%)

1030 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 68.7 posts.

I added 830 tags in 2021

#enjolras - 225 posts

#grantaire - 166 posts

#enjoltaire - 105 posts

#exr - 104 posts

#combeferre - 49 posts

#courfeyrac - 45 posts

#cosette - 44 posts

#gif - 33 posts

#joly - 30 posts

#javert - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 98 characters

#listen hear marius is sad because he is in love with someone who he thinks doesn't even notice him

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

After Hyoie O'Grady sang I Will Follow You into the Dark I really wanted a mash up of his and George Blagden's cover, and sometimes when you want something, you need to make it yourself.

I am not very good at music editing but I tried my best. I had to remove the verse George wrote because it didn’t fit with what Hyoie sang.

114 notes • Posted 2021-02-20 09:40:06 GMT

#4

Grantaire: Enjolras, remember you're one in a million.

Combeferre: That means there are seven thousand of him in the world.

Jehan: Find yourself.

Bahorel: Start an army.

Enjolras: Overthrow the government.

115 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 13:25:59 GMT

#3

Les Mis characters as wtnv quotes

Enjolras: “But belief is only step one. Action is step two. Fighting for what you believe is step two. Solidarity is step two. Unity is step two.”

Joly: “You, of course, should always chant when you wash your hands. It is only hygienic.”

Courfeyrac: “Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not. We never are. But that’s not the right question. The question is are we living a life that is worth the harm?”

Grantaire: “Regret nothing. Until it is too late. Then regret everything.”

Combeferre: “We understand so much, but the sky behind those lights - mostly void, partially stars - that sky reminds us we don’t understand even more.”

Feuilly: “We are not history yet. We are happening now. How miraculous is that?”

Jehan: “We are all poetry Night Vale. Every breath or branch or sigh before another hopeless night of uneasy slumber is itself a verse in a great poem.”

Bahorel: “Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.”

Bossuet: “Be proud of your place in the cosmos. It is small, and yet it is. How unlikely! How fantastic!”

Marius: “Today you will meet a beautiful stranger. Actually, hundreds of beautiful strangers. Everyone is beautiful and you know almost none of them.”

Cosette: “You have always been important; you have always been something.”

Valjean: “In that inescapable world, there is every joy you will ever experience. Every beautiful person you will ever meet. Every wonderful surprise that will ever wonderfully startle you. It is the good and the bad. It is the sound of the world. A world that will kill you, but also a world that will allow you to live.”

Éponine: “‘I’m not afraid,’ she declared, and she wasn’t. She was angry, which is the more productive cousin of fear.”

Gavroche: “But babies become children, and they go to elementary schools that indoctrinate them on how to overthrow governments, and they get interested in boys and girls, or they don't, and anyway they change.”

Fantine: “Her body no longer felt young. All of her energy had been robbed from her. She felt old, looked young, was neither.”

Javert: “Give reason a shot. It has never, not once in history, worked. But it might just work this time.”

227 notes • Posted 2021-04-02 13:22:39 GMT

#2

Thinking about my favorite musicals caused me to have a revelation

901 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 15:17:16 GMT

#1

1000 notes • Posted 2021-01-22 09:02:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[shianhygge-imagines]

FFVII: Dating Headcanons [Rufus Shinra]

AN: Oooohhh yeah! Let’s do this! My brothers and I have been on a cooking spree, my bedroom is a mess, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get grief for not cleaning up the move in boxes, but I really need to write something for Rufus TT^TT He needs some love, too!

edit 05/29/2020: So... this was posted before I was aware that the official age for Rufus in the remake is 30 :3 I love him so much 😍

This is so long >.< Somehow it’s just so easy to write for him... 

|Masterlist Link|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ First and foremost, yes, I know he’s a jerk. But he’s a jerk who almost died, and is now not as much of a jerk. He’s working on it! He’s so young! He has time to improve! I mean Sephiroth almost destroyed the Planet a few times, and Genesis kick started the mayhem, but we still love them!

~ Rufus has dated before the events of FFVII, so if you’re one of the poor unfortunate souls that tried to pursue him before his near death experience... (*sighs and pats your shoulder sympathetically) 

~ Pre-FFVII Rufus learned all his relationship tricks from observing his father’s habits and behaviors from when he was young. Namely, pursue what you’re interested in without hesitation.

~ Pre-FFVII Rufus would never pursue anyone he considers lower than his station. In fact, ‘the help’ pretty much don’t exist in his eyes much like they don’t exist to many other rich folks. Any attempts to catch his sky blue eyes will be unnoticed.

~ He’s only learned to spoil the individual of his affections with materialistic things. Emotional vulnerability isn’t something that he knows how to express to someone that he should treat as an equal without it being related to business.

~ His near death experience humbles him an immense amount. It is around this time that he’ll take notice and respect those who weren’t born into affluence

~ It is very unlikely that any relationship Meteorfall would last. The world, and Rufus, had changed too much to continue with the old as if nothing happened.

~ But you must be wondering about how you’d fallen into this man’s life if he was so unavailable to the normal populace. 

~ You were an AVALANCHE plant into Shinra, where you worked as one of the staff that attended to President Shinra and Rufus Shinra. Your cover story was that you were orphaned in recent years due to escalated conflict between AVALANCHE and Shinra. You were taken in by your mother’s sister, who was sickly and unable to work. As a result, you decided to get a part time job while you completed schooling. Normally, this wouldn’t fly, as you were two years younger than Rufus at the time, but Shinra was never bothered by child labor.

~ You had originally volunteered to spy on the Company executives as a Turk trainee, but Elfie, the leader of AVALANCHE at the time, didn’t wish for someone so young to be put in a place where you were at the mercy of Shinra.

~ Still, working as a maid was hardly dignified work when your employer had a habit of leering at the staff. You had more use as a chef due to having to cook for yourself from an early age.

~ While President Shinra has little problem bribing and seducing members of the work staff into his bed each night, you noticed that Rufus Shinra had not shared his father’s sentiments... at least, not to the same extent that his father did.

~ Rufus Shinra did not take random maids into his bed every night. No. If he ever took a woman into his bed, it was some social climber or heiress that he’d met during a company gala. He would strive to enjoy her company to the fullest of his ability, but rarely did the women he brought back last further than a month with the company heir.

~ You did your best to stay anonymous while feeding information back to AVALANCHE, barely even causing a need for concern when your talents as a chef were discovered and you were transferred to work the kitchens. Even when Rufus had been kidnapped by your fellow troops, and his plot to betray his father revealed, you remained dutiful and inconspicuous.

~ Eventually, you were sent with some of the Turks and part of the main staff with Rufus when he was placed under home arrest. President Shinra had attempted to pursue you during the years of your employment, but you’d remained steadfast and unwilling despite the loyalty that you’d demonstrated during your years of service. Which was why he decided that you were trustworthy enough to spy on his son for him. The humor in the situation was not lost on you.

~ Rufus, in turn, had the Turks under his command run background checks on all the staff that had followed him from the main Shinra estate.

~ Normally, Rufus would have taken zero interest in you. You were, after all, an average civilian by all means. But the one thing that he really took note of, was that you’d been part of the cleaning staff at first before somehow getting transferred into the kitchen staff. Rufus had been impressed by the quality of his food as of recently, so he was pleased to put a name and face to the work.

~ And then he noted that you were younger than him and fairly attractive. He wondered if you had ever slept with his father for money.

~ When Tseng reported that you had been one of the only members on staff that hadn’t slept with President Shinra, Rufus found himself intrigued. Most commoners only ever showed interest in pleasing the rich for their money. For you to turn down the excessive amount of money that his father normally offered in payment... well, you were rather strange.

~ He kept an eye on you after that. Just a notice of what you were doing every so often. Sending his compliments whenever you cooked a particularly delicious meal.

~ After the fiasco with Elfie and Veld, AVALANCHE needed people within Shinra more than ever, sending others into the company to spy. With your established presence in Shinra, you were tasked only to spy on the comings and goings of the executives that visited Rufus, or monitor any business dealings that the newly appointed Vice President was involved in.

~ For a while, you were content with your job cooking meals and occasionally sending out encrypted correspondences to your superiors. And then Rufus left the island for a business meeting that was supposed to be several days long... only to return within the same night because he simply refused to eat anything other than what you cooked.

~ It had been around midnight when Reno sheepishly roused you from your sleep, stating that the vice president was back and he hadn’t been able to eat a decent meal all day. In the back of your mind, you stressed and screamed how it would be possible to cook a full course meal in such little time alone.

~ Still, you hurried to wash your face and brush your teeth, not bothering to change out of your nightwear as you left the room, feeling that haste was more important than propriety. It’s not like Shinra ever comes into the kitchen anyways. I’m going to have to change out of these clothes when I finish cooking. You sulked, not wanting to go to sleep in pajamas that smelled like cooked food.

It is when you were in the middle of making the meal, with a black apron draped over your pajamas, that the door to the kitchen opens. Expecting Reno, who normally came in to snack on whatever you were making, you didn’t turn around. “Reno, for the last time, when I’m cooking for Mr. Shinra, you’re not allowed to mooch for scraps!”

“Does Reno often enter the kitchens to steal food?”

When you were asked by Elena and Reno what your reaction was, you denied being overly startled... even if you did drop the wooden stirring spoon into the large pot of broth.

Quickly fishing the utensil from falling further into the broth, you set the spoon aside and turned to face Rufus Shinra with wide startled eyes. “Mr. Shinra! I... um apologize for my lack of professionalism.” There’s an unasked question to your expression as your gaze darted back and forth between the stove top and your boss. What are you doing in here?

Rufus, for his part, only smirked and gestured to his own attire. Black button down and loose sweatpants, his normally brushed back blonde hair hung in his face. “I believe I’ve inconvenienced you enough by asking you to wake up to cook, Y/N.” His smirk widened, “Don’t mind me, continue as you would.”

The nervous smile on your lips betrayed your thoughts as you turned back to finish up the meal, trying and failing to ignoring the observant blue eyes directed at your back. After a time of silence, with just the vice president staring at you as you cooked, you spoke up with a stutter, “Um... Reno does occasionally come into the kitchen for a snack. B-but it’s not that much of a bother!” You didn’t want to get the friendly Turk in trouble.

“I can have him removed from the kitchen, if you’d like, Y/N.”

The way he said your name sent strange shivers up your spine, and you turned to peek at your boss. “Um... n-no. That’s really not necessary, Mr. Shinra. Reno’s like an annoying big brother. I can handle him.”

Silence settled over the kitchen once more, and you turned to continue stirring the soup, checking the oven for the roasting vegetables. “If you don’t mind my asking, Mr. Shinra... why have you decided to come into the kitchen today? You normally wait in your office or the dining room for the waiting staff to serve you.”

After a beat without answer, you’d begun to think that you’d offended the vice president... and then, “To be honest, I wanted a change of pace from the usual propriety. Eating alone gets tedious and frustrating after a while.” His eyes took on a glint as he stared at you, “And I found myself curious as to who you were. I can’t say I’m disappointed.”

Your shoulders were so tense that you were sure that you’d wake up the next day with an ache. “So, I take it that you’ll be eating in the kitchen?”

Rufus smirked, “That would be a correct assumption, Y/N.”

~ After that night, Rufus would often take his meals in the kitchen unless he was particularly weighed down by work. This caused quite the panic among the kitchen staff, and only served to annoy you when he laid off half the staff in favor of just having you as his private chef. Simply put, you went everywhere that Rufus did.

~ Despite the professionalism you exhibited, serving private meals to Rufus and his dates helped you learn more about the young man. There seemed to be two sides to him, Vice President Shinra, and Rufus.

~ Vice President Shinra was ruthless and fearsome. His business savvy rivaled only the harshest of businessmen, and he treated others with calculated cockiness and false generosity. He often acted in this manner.

~ The other side of him, Rufus, was quiet and reserved despite his business upbringing. This man rewarded loyalty and human gestures, he had a weak spot for desserts, and often made sarcastic comments. He was immensely lonely despite his power and renown, though he hid this part of him behind layers and layers of arrogance. If you were honest with yourself, you had become fond of Rufus Shinra.

~ It is the brief glimpse of humanity that was the reason you found yourself in Shinra Headquarters as Diamond Weapon approached the city.

~ You hadn’t been given orders from anyone in AVALANCHE in a long time, and took that to mean that the organization had shifted its focus elsewhere. This meant that you were free to do as you pleased. And with how close the Diamond Weapon was to Midgar, you found yourself racing to the President’s Office to get the stubborn man out of the building.

~ You reach the office at the same time that the Turks did. They shot you questioning looks as you shoved your way into the office. Out in the distance, a bright light lit up the metropolis, and you didn’t have much time to think before you’d jumped over a desk to pull Rufus to cover. Only a second later, the entire office was blown up.

~ After assisting the Turks in escorting Rufus out of the building and onto an evacuation helicopter, you revealed who you were to the Turks and Rufus. Although you were interrogated further on to what you’d been doing while in Shinra, the worst that you were punished with, was to be let go from your position.

~ Nearly a year later, after you’d used your savings (more than eight years worth of your salary) to open up a small cafe in Edge, you had moved on from your time with Shinra. While you still thought of Rufus and the Turks, you’d never allowed yourself to hope that they might stop by and visit.

~ And none of them showed up, until after you were afflicted with Geostigma.

~ It was a strange moment, when Reno and Rude both walked into your cafe, a cocky smirk on the red head’s face and Rude stoic professionalism. You’d been summoned by Rufus... well, the exact wording was that you were invited to join Rufus for lunch. And while you were slightly peeved at having to leave the cafe to your employees for the day, you went with the Turks regardless. You were just glad to have the opportunity to see them again.

~ Seeing Rufus in the wheelchair at the Healen Lodge, with cloth and bandages covering him... prompted you to reflexively clutch at your own bandaged arm, which was hidden from sight by the jacket you wore. Still, Rufus had always been an observant man.

~ He’d confessed to you his theory that Geostigma was caused by the lingering malicious will of Sephiroth in the Lifestream. And although you’d never blamed Shinra for the plague that was Geostigma, you could tell that Rufus didn’t want you to blame him for that state that you were in.

~ There was no cure, you were told. For you, and for Rufus, your time was short. And then a proposal, “Would you like to return to your previous position?” Somehow, you weren’t quite so sure that was what he meant to say.

~ It is later, when Rufus had retired for the day, that Elena pulled you aside and explained that while Rufus had missed your cooking, he’d missed the companionship that you’d provided. His words, “Would you like to return to your previous position?” was Rufus’ way of asking, “Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?” or perhaps more accurately, “Would you stay by my side as I die?”

~ And damn it, you were always a bleeding heart, weren’t you.

~ The next morning, when Rufus awoke, a grant breakfast awaited him, with you already sipping your coffee, apron still on.

~ The two of you eventually fell into a comfortable routine as you moved into the Healen Lodge, running your business from afar while remaining by Rufus’ side. At some point, Rufus had taken to holding your hand during meals or when you’d rest against him on the sofa. He’d started to walk around you without the bandages and sheet, only using the wheelchair when the Geostigma became too painful.

~ You didn’t even know that you were dating Rufus until Reno said that he’d get in trouble for flirting with his boss’ s/o. Rufus had been in the room at the time, and did not refute the sentiment, only reinforcing the fact by lacing his fingers with your own and stroking the back of your palm with his thumb.

~ It is so like Rufus to be absolutely certain that you returned his affections. Stupid stubborn fool.

~ Rufus is sweet when the two of you are left to your privacy. He’s as much a cuddler as you are willing to put up with, and he’ll put up with any amount of cuddling you desire.

~ He’s prone to spoiling you, though when you tell him that you would prefer more meaningful gifts, he starts to think about what is useful to you rather than simple showering you with designer clothing or jewelry. He learns to clean and cook just to make you happy.

~ He’s stubborn, refusing to acknowledge that he’s severely weakened even to himself. But it’s during these times where you need to support him the most. Because eventually, the disease will take its toll, and you have to be there to catch Rufus when he falls.

~ It’s almost like the two of you are living each day like your last, except for the fact that Rufus, ever stubborn and determined, has been using his resources to find a cure. Because he can’t accept that the two of you are going to die. Not when he’s only lived his life in a way that he now regrets.

~ At night, when he presses chaste kisses to your lips and pulls you close, Rufus often recounts the things that he regrets most. And letting you go after Meteorfall was his biggest.

~ “It’s my biggest regret. And now, when I have you here by my side, what I want more than anything is more time with you.”

~ The Geostigma doesn’t take either of your lives. Within the month, Elena and Tseng go missing when the remaining Turks are sent to retrieve JENOVA’s remains. Though you don’t wish to go, Rufus sends you away from the Healen Lodge. Some time later, a miraculous healing rain descends from the sky, healing you and Rufus of your Geostigma.

~ That same day, Rufus Shinra proposes to you. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed my work, please consider buying me a Ko-fi!

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Original CH1

I’m finally posting that spite fic I’ve been talking about for like a week! Here are the first two chapters because I wrote them kind of at the same time!

Summary:  After her friends all abandon her for Lila, Marinette decides it's time for a fresh start and moves to a new school. How will she fare in a new environment? Will her friends even notice that she's gone, or will they fall victim to Lila's ploy to turn them all against her?

Edit 6/19/21: This story has been rewritten/remixed! This version is the original unedited version of the story which can only be read here on my tumblr. The Remix is on AO3, and you can follow the link below to read it! Otherwise, enjoy the original!

Next    Remix

Chapter 1

Marinette stood in front of the mirror smoothing her blazer, picking at loose threads, and adjusting her buns for the dozenth time as a worried crease set over her brows. Her stomach churned into a knot of nerves, but seeing as school, her new school that was, didn’t start for thirty more minutes, she was left to just wait; though waiting only ate at her more, so she fidgeted to pass the time.

She wondered if they would even notice she was gone. It was absurd of her to wonder really. Of course they would notice. She was their friend after all, or so she’d thought. Their ‘every day Ladybug’ as they’d said, but a fat lot of good that did her in the end. When push came to shove, they all turned on her in an instant, so maybe they weren’t even really her friends after all. None of it mattered now anyways. She had a new school, and she would make new friends - ones that didn’t abandon her for a liar.

“Why does your new school get to tell you what to wear?” Tikki asked, floating up from her small purse, and Marinette ripped her gaze away from the mirror, a small smile curling on her lips as they settled on her kwami.

“Because it’s a private school,” she explained, turning and pacing over to retrieve her shoes from the box on her desk. “Everyone wears the same thing

“I like your old clothes better,” Tikki remarked, watching with intrigue as Marinette slipped her feet into her plain, black boots.

“I can still wear them when I’m not at school. Besides, this isn’t so bad,” she said as if to convince herself.

Truthfully though, she agreed with Tikki. The uniform was drab and ugly, but she supposed it gave her peace of mind. After everything with Lila, she couldn’t go back to her old school. She’d almost gotten akumatized over everything, and if she ever allowed her negative emotions to overcome her then Paris would certainly fall. Letting Hawkmoth akumatize her was a luxury that Marinette couldn’t afford. She always had to be positive, so it was best for her to remove herself from stressful situations even if it meant leaving all of her friends behind. They hadn’t been very friendly to her the past few days anyway ever since Lila came back to school.

“Are you really sure about this, Marinette?” Tikki asked, placing a small hand over Marinette’s folded in her lap. “You’re leaving behind all of your friends. Alya, Nino, Adrien.”

“Well, you didn’t see the looks on their faces, Tikki. They all like Lila better than me, and I can’t really confront her without revealing that I’m Ladybug,” Marinette said, leaning against her fist glumly. “She’s too good at lying. Plus I almost got akumatized, so I think it’s for the best if I go somewhere else. Protecting Paris is more important than some other girl fooling the boy I like. Besides, he’s in love with Kagami anyway, so it never would have worked between us.”

“Marinette-”

“I’m fine.” She said with a shortness she hadn’t intended, so she took a deep breath and stood up. “Come on. We should go.”

Sabine and Tom were waiting down in the bakery, tending to customers and prepping more croissants when Marinette appeared in the back door. Tom set down his bread peel and scooped her into a tight hug, planting a kiss on her cheek, and Sabine followed suit, holding her close for a long moment.

“I know this is hard for you, sweetie, but you’re gonna make new friends. I just know you will,” she said before letting go. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, Mama, Papa,” Marinette said softly, leaning in to press a kiss to her mother’s cheek before heading out the door. “See you tonight!”

Marinette took a deep breath, nearly glancing over at the school across the street, but catching herself and turning the opposite direction. Squaring her shoulders, she swallowed down the lump in her throat and headed to the subway without looking back.

***

Things at Francoise-Dupont were pretty typical. Students chatted with their friends as they all shuffled off to class, and no one seemed to notice Marinette’s absence in Mlle. Bustier’s class. She often ran late, so most of her classmates didn’t bat an eye until their teacher entered the room with an unusually sad expression.

“Okay, class, settle down,” She said lacking her usual enthusiasm. “Before we get started, I have some sad news for everyone. Today we will be deciding on a new class representative because Marinette has transferred to a new school.”

The class erupted into shocked chatter, many adorned with equally horrified and confused expressions; even Chloe quirked a brow. Only one student wore a satisfied smirk at the news, and she pressed her lips together to mask her expression as the rest of the class exchanged uneasy looks.

“So she just left without saying good bye?” Alya asked aloud, shifting her gaze to her lock screen, a picture of the two of them smiling together.

“Are you sure, Mlle. Bustier?” Adrien asked, eyebrows knitted together. “That doesn’t seem very like her.”

“I received the news from Principal Damocles this morning. Her paperwork was finalized yesterday afternoon,” Mlle. Bustier said with a nod.

“But I was going to show her my latest scrapbook project,” Rose said, curling her shoulders.

“I wonder why she didn’t tell any of us,” Mylene added, and Alix shifted beside her.

“Maybe you all aren’t really her friends after all,” Lila spoke up from the back once she’d regained her composure. “If she really cared about any of you then she would have told you she was leaving.”

“Maybe there was a reason for her not to say anything. Maybe it happened so suddenly, and she didn’t have time to tell us,” Alya rationalized, shaking her head.

“Or maybe she just doesn’t like you.” Lila shrugged, and Alya’s expression fell. “I know it’s hard to hear, but given the facts, I think that she was just pretending to be your friend. She only wanted the attention which is why she was always being mean to me and questioning me ever since I came here. She couldn’t stand the competition, so she left.”

“Marinette isn’t like that,” Alya slammed her fists on the table, and Lila pursed her lips knowingly, clasping her hands together neatly on the desk.

“It’s also unlike her to leave without saying good-bye, isn’t it?” She said pointedly. “Maybe you all don’t know her as well as you thought you did.”

Several faces in the room fell, and Mlle. Bustier cleared her throat.

“Who would like to volunteer to run for class representative?” She asked though everyone could hear the reluctance in her voice.

Chloe shifted in her seat, puffing her chest out proudly. “Well, seeing as there is a need, I suppose I could reclaim my title that was so rudely stolen from me.”

“Maybe Lila should run,” Nino suggested, and everyone turned around to look at her expectantly.

“Yeah, you would make an awesome class representative,” Nathaniel echoed, and Lila suppressed an eye roll then plastered on a smile.

“I don’t know…my parents travel a lot, so I would hate to be elected and then not be able to fulfill my duties,” She said, curling her shoulders a little.

“I could be your deputy and take care of things while you’re gone,” Alya offered, and a sly grin crept over Lila’s lips that she quickly masked.

“That’s so nice of you, Alya, but are you sure you don’t want to run for representative yourself?” She asked, and Alya shrugged.

“I don’t really have time since I have to run my blog, but I’d be happy to help you out,” She said.

“Well, if it’s what everyone wants, I suppose I could run,” Lila said, turning to face the front once more.

“Wonderful! Thank you, Lila,” Mlle. Bustier said with a relieved sigh, pressing a hand over her heart. “We will vote tomorrow morning.”

Chloe sank down in her seat with a scowl, arms folded over her chest grumpily. Across the aisle, Adrien shook his head with a quiet sigh, glancing back at the empty desk at the behind him before focusing on the lecture, all the while his hands fiddled with a small pink charm in his lap.

[rkmomo]

                       ⭐ STAR BRIGHT AUDITIONS ‘17 ⭐

NOW PLAYING: GLASS SHOES ( 0:25 - 0:36 )                             ICE CREAM CAKE ( 2:02 - 2:24 )                             CAUSE YOU’RE MY STAR ( 2:30 - 2:41 )                             GLASS SHOES ( 3:19 - 3:31 )                                aka a kt audition                                       ↪ performed and remixed by: HIRAI MOMO

                                                                                                                       outfit: 🍑 🍑 🍑

kt. her first audition ever and it was with kt.

it made her think about when she went back to japan. after spending two years in korea she told herself there was no way they’d actually want her. they were given the time and opportunities to find her, but eventually, she gave in to her father’s words. it was a fun time going back home. she got to spend time with her sister face-to-face which was much of a rarity. they didn’t even get to video call each other that often because of conflicting schedules. although good, it was also sad. home would always be home, but if her dreams meant having to go away then she was going to do it.

the first person she notified after getting the call was her ferret, cream puff, but after the celebration was done her sister didn’t let her down with a proper reaction over text. momo had always imagined audition with her favorite opening theme ( the one from powerpuff girls z ), but they told her to show two different talents. maybe singing and rapping would have been enough - but why not three?

no time was wasted before the girl was already sitting by her computer, searching for inspiration. the first song was picked because it had been stuck in her mind, and the others quickly came along as she thought of what would match the feeling she was trying to give off. she had been doing it for years. momo didn’t only make her own music but also found enjoyment in remixing popular songs together during her free time. they weren’t normally posted because of their short length, but it didn’t mean the talent wasn’t there. one minute. that would be perfect.

december meant it should be cold, but momo didn’t really care. the excitement in her heart sent adrenaline all over her body, filling her veins with warmth. people looked at her weirdly as she walked down the streets holding tightly to the sides of her body with all of her teeth showing in a smile. the nice lady who welcomed her said she could sit if she wanted to, but the girl didn’t have it in her to do it. her audition was only a few steps away, and she wasn’t going to be ready to rest until it was done.

they called her name not after too long. she hopped her way to the room but calmed her legs before going in. it was good to show excitement, but maybe not too much. her feet stopped where the marking told her the center was. like an owl, her head turned to scan the entire room before lowering her head in a bow. katie lee. her face twisted itself while her hair didn’t let them see it before her back was straight again. a dream come true. if katie lee was there then it was something important. she was important.

“hello! my name is hirai momo, i’m twenty years old and originally from kyoto, japan.” her words came out faster than she wanted them to. it was something that happened when she was excited, but once she noticed it the girl tried slowing them down. “i prepared something i edited myself, so hopefully you’ll enjoy it!” please do. her heart and soul had been laid in that 1-minute audio clip and she could only hope they wouldn’t crush them.

with a single head movement, the person in charge of pressing play let the audio start and momo quickly let out a deep breath. she tried making the transitions as smooth as possible, but there were parts she’d need to struggle with her breathing. the rapping, for example, was meant for two people to perform it, but there she was about to do it by herself.

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

빙글빙글 시계의 바늘이 Toc toc Round and round, the hands of the clock, toc toc

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

내 맘은 Up up up My heart goes up up up

it was a recent song, and the part chosen was something that could easily get stuck in your head for days. her main goal wasn’t exactly to make her audition haunt each one of the panel members to their dreams, but if it happened then it’d certainly be a plus! the start set the mood, and she was most certainly going for something on the cute side. maybe what was about to come didn’t exactly fit the bill, but removing the original instrumental from behind the rap and using something softer instead made it fit better.

Pops 내 입안에 녹아 내리는 중 Pops, it’s melting in my mouth, Putting so much in

잔뜩 넣어 내 입안이 녹아 내리는 줄 That it’ll feel like my mouth is melting down

Baby Boy 다른 남자들은 아무것도 몰라 Baby boy, other guys don’t know anything,

You’re so fine해서 안 튀는 옷만 골라 You’re so fine so only wear clothes that don’t make you stand out

Never get me wrong my boo

I have no 관심 in that bag I have no interest in that bag

지루한 월화부터 수목까지 Man I wanna pass From boring Mon-Wed, Thurs Man I wanna pass

날 보는 네 시선에 See some good vibe Your look toward me, I see some good vibes

기분 좋은 느낌이야 It’s a good feeling when

너와 눈이 마주치는 순간 My eyes meet yours

she didn’t have the time to stop in between parts, take a breath, and then continue to the next rap, but momo managed to make it happen. the song was much older than the first one so she had already partially learned the lyrics when it first came out. she had definitely practiced before coming even if there wasn’t much time given, but i wasn’t that big of a challenge to achieve. even if she was in kt she decided to audition with a song from sphere. it probably wasn’t that great of an idea, but once it was settled in her mind the girl couldn't imagine the song any other way. she’z was a very popular girl group so hopefully, they wouldn’t mind it too much.

새로운 세상에 눈을 뜬 거야 I’ve opened my eyes to a new world

널 알게 된 순간 The moment I met you

even if it was only two lines, it was sung softly as if it was the bridge of her short song. she used it to calm it down after the strong rap so the ending could have the impact that she wanted. it would be ideal to showcase all of her singing skills, but if it meant sacrificing a high note for the song to flow better then momo had no shame in doing it. they probably had the tapes of her screaming in the hongdae talent show, anyway - and if they didn’t then a quick search of her name online wouldn’t make it too hard to find.

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

빙글빙글 시계의 바늘이 Toc toc Round and round, the hands of the clock, toc toc

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

내 맘은 Up up up My heart goes up up up

it ended just like it started and momo couldn’t have been happier. it went exactly as she wanted. the faces of the panel didn’t give her any kind of vibe, which she saw as being better than looks of disgust or disappointment. she thought it was easier to hide what you liked than what you didn’t. with a bow, she thanked them for their time, leaving the room as she was told. all she could do was wait and that was definitely going to be something she’d do. all of her co-workers already knew about it, so whenever her phone received a notification they’d stop to look. she’d wait for it. she had already done it for so long.