#anyway. there are many things that make ******* lame. we can’t even list them all we’d be here for hours….

[livvyofthelake]

i realized while driving today (this happened while i was mid singing along to one of my little songs and i had the realization and immediately stopped and went 😳 for a solid minute while i ruminated on this discovery) that i think the reason ******* is so lame to me is probably because jarchie already exists and is better executed and also real. anyway. do with that information what you will

[always-there]

About consent

OK guys, buckle up, because today's topic is depressing as hell.

Today I'm gonna talk about consent. I usually ponder about this while I cook, in the shower, late at night when I'm applying all my learned hypnosis techniques to force myself to sleep.

I was never taught about consent. All I had going for me was the classic "Rape is bad, avoid rape" chant the world of the 90's society thought was enough. All I saw were girls being advised to not dress like sluts and avoid being provocative in public. I got a good couple of different versions of that, mind you, as I grew up in a conservative Catholic school.

Nobody told us about the universe of potential situations contained within that fucking "Rape is bad, avoid rape". We thought rape happened when a man forced himself on a woman that was actively trying to resist him.

Black and white. No grey areas. Pretty simple.

I was fine with that. I was even judgmental towards victims, once I saw how they were dressed when they were attacked. Or if they were drunk or walking by themselves on areas widely known to be dangerous.

And then I grew up, entered the nasty-ass world of adults, and the Universe took pains to kick my ass in so many ways during 30 years that have finally lead to this post today.

So, I'm a list person. I like making lists. So here goes my one and only...

CONSENT LIST

• Dudes get raped too. Yeah. I know it's basic, but I scoffed at the concept for years. I know many people who still do. Dudes get raped too, get it into your mind. And no, it doesn't happen when they are effeminate weaklings. No. Any man can get raped. And they deserve to be treated as proper victims, with respect and compassion. The few times I've seen testimonies of male rape survivors, they reported even the police was skeptical or treating them like pussies or jokes.

• If your partner is sleeping, it's not consent. No, I don't give a fuck if you guys have been together for 20 years. No, I don't give a fuck if they wake up in the middle of it and decide to continue. I don't even give a fuck if they say they like it. If you touch, penetrate, make whatever sexual advance on a sleeping person, you are raping them. Any unconscious person is unable to give consent.

• If you're in the middle of it, having a good time, and suddenly your partner wants to stop... guess what, it's time to stop. You don't stop? You ask them to hang in there for just a while more until you're done? You power through it? Yeah, no. That's not consent, buddy.

• If you're ABOUT to do it, and the foreplay was great, and they were so into it, but when the time comes to actually go all the way, they change their mind... time to go home. Or put on a movie, or do whatever the fuck you want that is not forcing or trying to persuade your partner to go on.

• Subtle denial is a big-ass NO as well. They have a headache? Leave it. They are tired? Leave it. They have to wake up early the next day? Leave it. They fear a phantom clown is gonna haunt the bed if they indulge in intercourse that night? Leave-it. Don't persuade your partner to have sex if they don't feel like it. You know why? Because they DON'T want to have sex. Persuading or wearing someone down to say yes is not consent. It's pressure. Which takes us to the next bullet...

• If you insist that YES always means YES just like NO always means NO, I will smack you in the head with a frozen lamb leg. YES can be induced. Can be pressured. You can actually intimidate, scare, threaten and bully a person into saying yes. Maybe they are not ready. Maybe they are not sure about the relationship. Maybe they are not feeling well. Maybe they are fucking scared of you. It doesn't matter. If you have to lobby for it, leave it. You're being a creep.

• Drunk people. Good God. I can't believe this has to be an item. Leave drunk people alone! And I don't even mean passed-out drunk, I mean intoxicated but still dancing people, still talking people, I even mean, yes, dizzy or tipsy people. A person under the influence is not able to consent. Why do you think we drink, why do we call it a social lubricant, and other funny jabs? Because alcohol fights the restraint and common sense we'd had otherwise. It's a fun way to loosen up and get relaxed, but if someone has been drinking, don't hunt them for sex. I can't believe the number of movies and series that broadcast dudes trying to hit on drunk women. It still happens today, and not in a Law and Order episode, in your common everyday rom-com. This applies to every person under the influence of whatever substance they took that clouds their judgment.

And no, I won't hear it. They didn't put themselves in a position of danger. You are the danger, a threat that should not exist in the first place.

• So far so good, right? Well, tell me what you think about this. Let's say your partner doesn't want to have kids. And you do want them, for whatever reason. So, what do you do?

You mess with their birth control. Or you lie about you taking birth control. Or you lie about using a condom, or about the physical integrity and expiration date of said condom. Bam, presto manifesto, a bun in the oven.

That is fucking rape. And if you still need to ask why, because for whatever reason that was not creepy enough for you, I'll spell it out. It's rape, because the other person did not consent to that.

And now, if you still don't feel the need to go and take a shower until December, I have yet another list.

Are you in doubt? Are you not sure you are a rapist or not? Worry not! Below you'll find a funny little questionnaire ready for you to clear your mind and heart:

CAN I RAPE SOMEONE IF...

• ...they are dressing provocatively?

Answer: They could be walking down the busiest street of the city during rush hour completely naked and with a big, red silk bow on their ass, and still, nothing in the fucking world gives you the right to touch them. You are not entitled to another person's body because of what they choose to wear.

• ...we are dating?

Answer: Not if you are dating, not if you are married, not if the zombie apocalypse finally wiped out humanity and God himself descends from Heaven to pronounce you Adam & Eve 2.0 and gives you the task to repopulate the world. Dating only means you two are seeing each other on a regular basis for fun or to explore the possibility of a future together. It doesn't mean that your partner's body becomes your property, ergo, you have no rights whatsoever over it.

• ...they are seducing me?

Answer: Half of the time, nobody was seducing you, genius. If I have to hear another anecdote of how a bartender or barista o waitperson were throwing themselves on someone, I will barf in my own mouth. Servers are required to be nice, it's on their job description. But anyway, let's say for the sake of argument that yeah, they are indeed seducing you: no. Showing interest in someone is not an invitation to fuck, nor a provocation to fuck, so let things go their way and don't be a creepy jackass.

• ...I have done nice things for them?

This one I actually heard from a former, and I can't emphasize the former enough, friend. Their case was something along the lines of, I took her to dinner and a movie, later coffee and dessert, and one other lame activity I can't remember (probably drinks), paid for everything, took her home on my car... and then she refused to let me go upstairs!

Dude. Duuuuuude. And dudettes too, of course. No. If you want to get your money's worth, go to a proper sex worker, who will charge you accordingly for their services. Don't expect the other person to feel obligated to pay you with their body just because you fed them and threw a movie ticket in the package!

I had one friend go on a date with a guy. The date didn't work out, so they went their separate ways... until the guy showed up on her doorstep asking her to reimburse him for coffee and a donut. I shit you not. She was so dumbfounded she actually paid him back so he would leave, and I'm glad she did, because that, my friend, is rapist material on the making.

• ...they are a sex worker?

Answer: No, you creepy freak, absolutely not. Every single point I mentioned above applies to every human being on the planet and active or inactive Space stations. You cannot force yourself on anyone, you cannot violate consent ever. It doesn't matter if you're fooling around with the biblical whores of Babylon or the entire cast of Full Monty after a round of the blue pill. Consent protects everyone, no matter what they do for a living.

I'm so happy that all these points are not gonna be news for most of you. Awareness is spreading and the new generations are taught about consent since they are little kids. My generation, and most of all my generation in my country, dominated by a traditional patriarchal society, heard nothing of it. "Rape is bad, avoid rape" was taught mostly as a warning tale for girls. It was the girls' responsibility to prevent rape. Don't walk alone at night. Don't use slutty clothes. Don't be provocative towards men. Don't drink too much. Don't stare too much. Don't go to non-respectable places. Don't put yourself in danger.

I think things would significantly change if the song was played differently. Don't teach girls how to prevent rape. Don't teach boys that rape is bad and that "real men" don't need it.

Teach everyone about consent. Rape is only one of the grim consequences of violating consent. There are thousands of different traumatizing situations that could be avoided if we only respected consent all the time, if we were taught about healthy boundaries and personal integrity since kids.

But hey, we're getting there. I hope. I wish.

• Disclaimer: actually, I think disclaimers like this should not be needed, but still. In case you feel the urge of accusing me of speaking from theory... nope. I speak from experience. Personal experience. Experience I wish I didn't have, and that I had a very hard time harvesting to learn and become stronger. So yeah. Shut the fuck up, go out there and respect the shit out of people.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-10-15

More Homestuck, continuing directly from last time.  Gonna Bang Out A Liveblog Quick (GbOALq)…

No chapter title this time, just straight continuation.  (By the way, I didn’t reblog it so spoilers don’t headline my blog but this post regarding last upd8 is delightful)

> (==>)

Okay, this makes more sense as to why they both disappeared -- Vrissy is either trying to get her back or is going along and just being grousy about it, or one under the pretense of the other or the like.

By the way, if Rose specifically planned in a way that involved telling Vriska to sit on the sidelines and not doing anything, shouldn’t she ABSOLUTELY KNOW, one-hundred percent with a combination of her Seer of Light powers and common sense, that Vriska will Not Do That?  --so whatever Vriska is about to do I’m going to assume Rose has accounted for it, unless she’s like...

...sworn off using her powers much, or something.  That would super suck and I would hate for that to be in this story regardless of themes.

Vriska Maryam-Lalonde, recently "Vrissy," and potentially "You Are So Grounded You Are Never Leaving The House Again," isn’t what’s commonly referred to as an "outside girl".

She likes grass. It’s fine! To look at. And so are trees, as long as they’re somewhere off in the distance, swaying gently in the breeze. Trampling through them is not on the list of acceptable tree activities. Vrissy is already sweaty and dirt-streaked, and there’s probably like fifty gnats trying to drink her eye fluids. At this rate she almost envies Tavros his role as Batterwitch Bait. Sure, he has to pretend to be threatened by Vrissy’s mom, which is lame as hell and also very embarrassing, but at least his eye fluids are safe.

So she’s fine with this in principle, just not with the work involved? Or--

VRISSY: Hey, can you slow Down a Little? VRISSY: I have to run over Shru8s and shit, I can’t Fly! VRISKA: Hah! And who’s fault is that???????? VRISSY: My shitty 8iology I guess! VRISSY: Sorry, not all of Us had SGRU8 Sessions to make ourselves Immortal. VRISKA: Well, we’ll take care of that, don’t even worry a8out it. VRISSY: Lol I wish.

Oh Christ, we really should have seen it coming.  OF COURSE VRISKA is going to get her hands on a copy of the Game and try and have these kids play it, regardless of whatever meteor-based consequences to this happy society.  FUCK.  She doesn’t even see any reason to hide it!

--reading on, some discussion of how people on Earth C view the ability to fly unaided as a sort of religious thing so shot down Roxy’s idea of letting everyone fly.  Why does society always keep trying to shut down Roxy all the time

VRISKA: Really, we have to get you a god tier. That’s pretty much the only solution at this point. VRISKA: Ideally we’d go back to when you were a wiggler and start your training right away, 8ut that’s not exactly an option. So god tier it is. VRISSY: Is that even Possi8le? outside of the Game? VRISKA: Nope. 8ut we don’t have to worry a8out that, once we get back into SGRU8. VRISSY: What???

This is what you get for letting Vriska back into your story:  She starts another meteor apocalypse and destroys your Happily Ever After.  Fuck.

VRISKA: We have to start this shit over again, you have all let it get so out of hand there’s really nothing to do besides a hard reset.

NO.  Fuck you.  You just don’t like hard work.

(I know everything is accidentally going to end up working out “alright” whatever happens, but even if Vriska’s self-aggrandizing malfeasance HAPPENS to be the cause of it, I really, really don’t want her fucking ideology to be the cause of it.  She shouldn’t be Aesma of Kill Six Billion Demons mythology, she’s had too many flirtations with ACTUALLY learning a lesson and BEING EARNEST ABOUT IT to be the selfish chaos at the heart of victory and living.)

(Yes, I recently caught up with KSBD and it’s awesome.)

> (==>)

VRISKA: This is a perfect spot for a fight. An am8ush point. VRISSY: !! VRISKA: Don’t worry about it, that’s good. That’s what we’re looking for.

Vriska leveraging her luck and assuming they’ll be followed when she wants to be.

> (==>)

That’s a really, really damn good waiting-for-an-ambush image.  Pretty hilarious.

(Still having a background mental fit about how this HS2 crew might REALLY be trying to make Vriska the Aesma of the Homestuck “universe” which is just aaaAAAUGH NOBODY SHOULD WANT THAT.  I’ll be really unhappy with the end product of THIS ENTIRE HS2 PROCESS if they pull that shit, no matter what side benefits there are or how happily it ends.  Hell, ESPECIALLY if it ends happily.  They’re having fun elevating her somewhat more than most people agree she deserves but they shouldn’t elevate her TO THAT LEVEL. EDIT3: More discussion on that here if you don't know what I mean.)

> (==>)

VRISKA: This is actually way more fun than I thought it would 8e. VRISKA: 8ringing around a younger, dum8er me. VRISSY: I think we’re 8asically the Same Age. VRISKA: Whatever!

(Fuck you!)  :)

> (==>)

wait what the fuck--

MANDATED HAIRSTYLES?????

what the fuck!???

EDIT: plausible theory here

> (==>)

Vrissy is that fuzzy dice kind what the hell

> (==>)

Circle, fifteen guys, no special significance that i can detect

> (==>)

Oh is War Shit kinda poppin off alongside the whole church thing?

> (==>)

Colorful ship design, weird zoomout frame transition; something wasn’t smooth with that

Anyway is orbital bombardment gonna happen or?

> (==>)

JOHN: vriska! JOHN: i mean, vriskas!! JOHN: where are JOHN: oh fuck

yeap

> (==>)

Is John flying out under the ship away from the house?  That’s really irresponsible.  (And abruptly transitioned, I didn’t realize it happened at first.  KEYFRAME THINGS BETTER AUGH)

--why is that belly button window still there?  I thought we had a line about Harry fixing his outfit, or at least having the capability to, did they not have time to finish?  Let me check, that’s bugging me:

HARRY: plus i wouldn’t have been able to get your measurements for some clothes that actually fit you if we hadn’t come back here where all my sewing stuff is.

Oh GOT IT.  Harry TOOK his measurements, but hasn’t fixed his outfit yet.

> (==>)

JOHN WHY DID YOU GO ALL THE WAY TO THE CHURCH WHO THE FUCK IS PROTECTING THE KIDS

> (==>)

Okay you’re back at Your House instead of Roxy’s house?

What, going to fight the ship or

I mean you could but you’re kind of forgetting what was the most important damn thing a few panels ago you jackass

> (==>)

Is that a bomb or fucking take out??

Why blow up John’s HOUSE that’s just so petty

> (==>)

ka-house

(pretty)

about time John stopped languishing in his childhood home instead of living life, anyway.

> (==>)

(o no i didnt want john to be sad tho)

it’s fine, he’ll be angry next panel or so

> (==>)

UM THE WHOLE SKY IS GETTING DARK???? HOW LONG ARE YOU SITTING HERE AND LETTING THIS BURN OUT???

HOW MANY HOURS ARE YOU LEAVING THOSE KIDS UNPROTECTED YOU GOLDFISH MEMORY CHUCKLEFUCK

> (==>)

APPARENTLY ALL OF THE HOURS BECAUSE IT’S NIGHT NOW YOU ASS

and that’s the last panel

yknow if we are going to have an arc about john learning to be a slightly more responsible parent it would help if it SHOWED HIM LEARNING ANYTHING

GOODNIGHT

EDIT2: Anonymous asked: "I think the whole "John watches his house burn down" is more him coming to terms with who Jane has become. In the last update they mentioned how Rose(I think it was Rose) baited Jane into believing John and the kids were hiding out at his place, and Jane just destroyed it, so he's coming to terms with the fact that she just tried to kill not only John and Vriska, but the kids too."

Oh shit. I forgot about that from the previous update: "JOHN: but rose sent out some false intel about us heading toward my house, so technically this is the safest place we can be right now, since they cleared the area and everything." He really does have to come to terms with the fact that Jane just tried to murder them all, too, so shit is definitely real.

...Which makes the fact that he didn't rush off to guard the kids in response to THAT NEW FACT still pretty galling, but.

[probablynotguy]

4, 12, 15, 17, 18, 28, 29. like OP said, feel free to not answer 29 if you don't want to (or any of them for that matter)

Ooo boy we got a large order here.  Let’s see what we can do!  Granted I’ve already answered 4, 12, 15, 17, and 18!  Buuuuuut...

17. What would be your most ideal tickling scenario?

Fuck you I’ll list a THIRD one because I have so many.

~*~Warning this is an NSFW con-noncon thing so if that’s not your speed then skip ahead to the next number~*~

I’d love to plan having a session with a lee, in which we have a window of days set up where I can pretend to kidnap them.  I’d blindfold them and restrain their wrists behind their back.  Then I would lead them to my car and put them in the trunk, driving around the neighborhood a little bit just to give them a lack of direction of where they are.

Once we reach the destination of choice, I would bring them out and restrain them from there, whether it’s on a pole standing up or on a bed/massage table.  I would do as I mentioned in a previous ask--start with some light bondage but up the ante with different restraints and revealing more bare ticklish spots.

This entire time they would be blindfolded and we’d try out sensory deprivation play.  Blindfold already dealing with lack of sight, then maybe some noise-cancelling headphones to drown out the sound (duh) or some kind of gag to keep them from laughing.

OF COURSE this would all be consensual because CONSENT IS KEY.  Otherwise it’s not very fun and actually considered this thing called a crime?  A crime yeah.

~*~END OF NSFW CNC STUFF YOYO~*~

Anyway moving on:

28. What kind of tickles do you prefer giving/receiving? (Silly, intense, sexy, gentle, etc.)  Why?

Not to give a lame answer, but it genuinely depends on the mood I’m in.  What I like to give or even receive changes by the day.

I think generally I’m usually a silly teaser, but I’ve been told I can be evil when I talk about how intense I can make a session with a lee.  Overall though, I do prefer giving out and receiving gentle touches, but that doesn’t mean gentle tickles can’t be intense.

Sometimes those soft, delicate tickles of fingertips just lightly dragging across bare skin almost as if they weren’t even touching you--depending on what spot this happens could be absolute torture for some of you out there.

Also do lickles count as “sexy?”  I’m sorry if this grosses anyone out but lickling (tickling with tongue) is one of my favorite methods to use, especially on tummies and navels.  This goes hand-in-hand with my tummy/navel fetish, so it’s something I very much enjoy.  Granted I wouldn’t be like that with everyone, I generally like to get to know someone first before I move into that territory of teasing.

SO I guess I generally prefer to receive and give lighter tickles, but I like to be evil with them too.  I am a sadist when it comes to tickling but since I prefer to receive lighter touches, I sort of impose that on lees and give the same kinds of touches I enjoy.

Hopefully that’s a suffice answer!

29. What ticklish spots/tools/methods of tickling/etc. are OFF-LIMITS for you?  Why?

As someone who has barely ever been tickled before and identifies as a switch, I currently don’t really have any off-limits stuff because I genuinely don’t know what’s extreme and what isn’t.

I suppose doing things without consent would be my off-limit thing, and I wish I could say “no duh everyone knows this,” but let’s face it there’s been many times where that hasn’t been the case in this community.

Thank you very much for the breadth of asks!

[twonewkidsonesouthpark]

Birthday fic for Buttlord

So, day late, dollar short, but cut me some slack I have TWO birthdays to celebrate the 28th and I’ve been out for the past 12 hours doing so XD

Happy birthday @justcallmebuttlord​, have some cute twin bday fic ^^

“Happy birthday to you,”

“Happy birthday to you,”

“Happy birthday dear Lynnie,”/“Happy birthday dear Lyssie,”

“Happy birthday to us.”

--

Alyssa and Lynnea Ostenmeyer could be forgiven for being confused when they walked downstairs to a veritable feast waiting for them for breakfast. They glanced at each other, identical confusion in their eyes. Finally, Alyssa shrugged, making for the table to sit down. This was hardly the weirdest thing that had happened since the ill-fated ‘hero’ game. With their father having taken up cooking instead of pot brownies, they had a lot better meals (with a lot less drugs slipped into their meatloaf).

“Good morning girls!” Kelly sing-songed, coming into the kitchen.

“Morning mom,” Lynn replied, glancing at Alyssa, Did we slip into an alternate timeline in our sleep or something?

Alyssa shrugged, face clearly as confused as Lynnea felt. Both of them were distracted as two piled high stacks of pancakes were set down in front of them.

“We forgot to tell you, we’re having the house cleaned today, so you’ll have to spend the day out,” Chris said from the counter, cracking a couple of eggs into a bowl of batter, “Hope you don’t mind!”

So, same thing we do every weekend, then? Alyssa took a bite of bacon.

Kelly and Chris shared an indecipherable glance over their heads, “Well, once you’re done with breakfast, get dressed and head out. We’ll message the two of you when it’s all done, okay?”

-

“That was weird, right?” Lynnea asked as they stepped down off their front porch steps, “Like, that wasn’t just me?”

Alyssa shook her head. No, definitely weird. Mom and dad are up to something.

“...you don’t think we have to move again, do you?” Lynnea asked, voice suddenly taking on a panicked edge, “I thought we’d been taking care of the government guys so they wouldn’t notice.”

No, I don’t think so at least, Alyssa cocked her head to the side. It was enough to get Lynn to relax as they headed down the street.

“Wanna see if the guys are busy?” Lynn asked, not waiting before heading across the front yard to Butters’ house and knocking on the door.

Both twins were grateful that it was Mrs. Stotch who opened the door, “Oh! Hello there you two,” she greeted, “I’m afraid Butters is --” Please don’t say grounded, “--n’t home right now.”

“Oh, that’s alright,” Lynn said, hopping down the steps, “He’s probably at Cartman’s if he’s not here.”

Alyssa nodded, leading the trudge through the snow this time to the next house down, “Hello Dee, Lynnea. I’m sorry, but Eric’s gone out already.”

Curiouser and curiouser, Alyssa thought, nodding and going back down the driveway to meet Lynn.

“Cartman too?” She asked, surprised. Alyssa nodded, “Kyle and Stan’s, maybe?”

Alyssa frowned slightly, but nodded, following her sister down the street.

“Okay, what the fuck,” Lynnea asked emphatically as Mrs. McCormick shut the door, “Is going on today? Butters, Cartman, Kyle, Stan, AND Kenny are all out?”

Can’t get ahold of Clyde’s gang either, Alyssa turned her phone screen toward Lynnea, showing unanswered messages to Clyde, Token, Tweek, and Craig.

“Tricia, Karen, and Ike aren’t answering me, either,” Lynn said, frowning at her phone, “Well… alright, fuck the boys too, they can do whatever it is they’re doing without us. Feel like hanging out with Wendy?”

Wendy’s always cool, Alyssa nodded, watching as her twin’s fingers flew over her phone keyboard, then pause.

“Wendy’s busy too,” she said, “And she went offline after I messaged, what the heck? Since when does Wendy Testaburger go radio silent?”

Ooookay this is officially donkey balls levels of weird, Alyssa frowned, looking at her friends list. Their usual gang of miscreants was all offline… or invisible, she wasn’t sure which.

“This blows,” Lynn muttered. They had relocated to the park, with Lynn peeking into the girls room to see if there’d been a meeting today she didn’t know about in the Sunshine Sparkle Club, but they’d found it empty. So now, they sat on the swings in sullen, confused silence.

Fuck ‘em, Alyssa reached over to squeeze Lynn’s hand, Not the first time we’ve gotten by alone. We don’t need those cock guzzling taint munchers anyway.

Lynn squeezed back, her grip noticeably weaker, as she continued to scroll through her phone. Alyssa rolled her eyes, and grabbed the phone with her free hand, “Hey!”

No more phone for you, you’re just getting upset.

“At least give it back so I can play something while we wait,” Lynn pouted. Alyssa gave her a flat, disbelieving look, “I won’t even open facebook or instagram, okay?”

Uh huh, Alyssa didn’t believe THAT line for a second, but she handed Lynn her phone back. Probably a wise choice, given that it was nearly another two hours before their phones simultaneously ‘pinged’ with messages from either parent that it was time to come home now.

“I’m half tempted not to,” Lynn admitted, skipping a rock across the top of the pond, “But they’d probably just come looking for us like the time we got lost in the forest.”

Given that they discovered that the forest was full of non-linear paths, satanic fauna, and aggressive wolves. Alyssa wasn’t necessarily complaining about THAT particular rescue. But the two of them threw the last of their gathered pebbles skittering across the top of the water’s half-frozen surface before heading back to their street, and past the bus stop back to their home.

Lynnea got to the door first, skipping over all the icy bits of the walkway up the stairs, and stomping her boots free of dirty snow on the mat before shoving the door open and --

“SURPRISE!”

Alyssa isn’t sure which of them react first -- either way, they both had the SAME reaction; time freezes, suspended with the smell that could burn hair off anyone too close by. It was probably a good thing that they were both immune -- sort of -- by now to their particular brand of… superpower.

“Wha -- oh my god,” Lynnea said, as they surveyed the scene that they had just ripped one on, “Oh my god. It’s our birthday.”

...fuck me running, it is, Alyssa realized, looking around the living room.A banner hung above the kitchen doorway reading HAPPY BIRTHDAY in vibrant letters, a veritable mountain of presents below it on the table. It looked like EVERY kid their parents had ever seen them so much as look at for more than a few seconds was in there.

There was a sniffle from beside her, and Alyssa looked over to see Lynn tearing up, “Wh -- whoa, hey, what’s with the waterworks?” she asked, safe to speak with no one to hear her but her twin.

“We -- we’ve never celebrated it before,” Lynn hiccuped, wiping at her eyes.

Alyssa didn’t have time to say much else -- she could feel the air straining around them, like a rubber band about to snap. It was always disconcerting to snap back into place as time began to flow forward again, even if she hadn’t really moved all that much.

“Aw, dude, c’mon!” Stan said, waving a hand over his nose as, with time unfreezing, the smell of using their powers hit the rest of the party as well. Alyssa shrugged at him, scooting around the gaggle of girls that had surrounded Lynnea the moment they’d noticed the burgeoning waterworks, Motherfucker you all should know what happens when you surprise us, you’re lucky you didn’t get hit and we were still out on the step. Now one of you want to explain the fresh FUCK is happening here?

“Your parents invited all of us over,” Kyle expounded without much more prompting than her raised eyebrow.

“Why didn’t you two ever tell us when your birthday is?” Stan asks, which gets him a look, “Okay, why didn’t LYNN tell us when your birthday is, wise ass?”

Alyssa shrugged, You never asked.

“Lame excuse man,” Kenny said, “Wendy had to dig this shit up and suggest the party to your parents.”

And depending on how this goes, I owe that girl SO many cookies, or a punch in the face, Alyssa glanced over the boys’ heads, at the gaggle of girls surrounding her sister, who looked a lot less wet-eyed now, laughing and accepting gentle scoldings for likely the same thing the boys were digging at her about. Wendy caught her looking and grinned unapologetically, ...maybe cookies AND a punch in the face, she amended privately.

“Whatever, not like it’s a big deal anyway,” Cartman grumped, distracting her from Wendy and her smug ass grinning, “No kewl party has girls at it.”

“Dude. They’re twins. And Lynn’s a girl,” Craig deadpanned.

“Y-yeah, it’s b-both their parties, of c-course the girls are gonna be here,” Tweek said.

Cartman huffed, “Whatever. I’m gonna be over HERE, NOT getting cooties,” he said, shuffling off to the other side of the room.

“Ignore him,” Kyle said, rolling his eyes, “He’s just bitter that you two get more presents.”

“And that people actually want to give you presents that aren’t off an itemized list,” Kenny snickered.

Alyssa raised a brow, Okay, gonna have to fill me in on that one --

“Who wants to break the pinata?” Chris called from the direction of the backdoor.

--after I beat a paper mache donkey to death, move it assholes.

[nightowlfandom]

Katsuki Bakugo Fluff Imagine- Sparky Sparky Boom Boom!

REQUEST FROM PROMPT LIST- RIGHT HERE! (Be sure to read the rules and what not because it’s all there, if you have any questions let me know.)

FIRST BNHA REQUEST WOOO!!! Alright let’s do this! I don’t know if I’m capturing his character right, but this is how I would think it’d go.

I wasn’t gonna post today but this was way too cute. I’m feeling a tiny bit sick so excuse me if I pop in and out this week. 

I also write for other anime characters too and not just kpop.

Leggo!

...

“What are you talking about!?” 

You hid your laugh from your shocked and narrow eyes boyfriend as the statement left your mouth.

“ I’m just saying I don’t think it’s fair that you know all of my friends and I’ve never met any of yours.” you shrugged. “That’s all I’m saying.”

“Friends is a bit of a strong word.” he mumbled. ‘Why do you want to meet them anyways!?”

You crossed your arms, rolling your eyes at Bakugou’s attitude. He had met your family, and your best friend and you even took him to your favorite pet store to say hello to the animals, but you meeting his classmates was such a bad thing?

“Please?” you pouted. “I didn’t go to school with you so I don’t know your friends and I don’t think that’s very fair...” you looked down at your feet. 

“Ugh, now you’re gonna guilt trip me.” he mumbled, shaking his head. “Fine, but don’t blame me when you’re underwhelmed.” he grumbled. 

“Thank yooouu!!!” you stuck your tongue out, throwing your arms around his torso. 

“Yeah yeah whatever...dummy.” he rolled his eyes in discontent, but wrapped his arms around your waist anyways. “The things I do for you.” he sighed.

“What if they don’t like me?” you suddenly asked aloud. You stared up and Bakugo’s face who still looked less than thrilled having agreed to take you to meet his...friends.

“Are you kidding? Almost everyone who meets you wants to be friends with you instantly. If they don’t like you it’s obviously because they have no brains or the guts to tell you how great you are.” he snapped. “Stop being so stupid!” he scolded you, but his actions said different. His hand tangled in your hair as he held you to his chest.

“I’m not stupid!” you whined. “I’m just curious!”

“They’ll love you because I love you and that’s all that matters.”

...

“Aye Bakugo! Where’s this girlfriend of yours!” Izuku suddenly asked. “You said you were bringing her by!”

“She’s coming thought I don’t think she could hear you, WHY DON’T YOU SCREAM A LITTLE LOUDER!” he snapped, pointing accusingly at him. Although he was curious, where exactly were you? 

“I think we’d all like to meet this person who seems to have tamed you Bakugou.” Todoroki commented. “You’ve never mentioned her before.”

“He never tells us anything!” Kirishima shook his head. “Not like we’re gonna steal her away!”

“If you even thought about trying I’d rip you limb from li-”

Bakugou was taken aback by two hands covering his eyes. He fought back the less than small smile growing on his face and scoffed.

“Guess who?” you whispered in his ear. You set down the food bag in your hand on the table.

“Who else would it be.” Bakugou scoffed. “You always do that.”

You almost frowned, he usually kind of liked when you did that. You looked up to see who you assumed were Bakugou’s friends. “Hello!” you waved.

“She’s real!!” Izuku said suddenly, catching you off guard.

“OF COURSE SHE’S FUCKING REAL!” You heard Bakugou outburst. “Y/N...these are..uh..er..”

“Your friends?” you finished for him. “I figured.” you turned to them all. “I already know who you guys are, Bakugou never shuts up about you guys.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Todoroki said cooly.

“Well you should believe it! I’m not one to lie.” you shrugged. “Ah yes...but you don’t know much about me do you?”

“No really no.” Kirishima answered for all of them. “We only know as much as he tells us.”

“This is Y/N.” Bakugou said for you before you could open your mouth. 

“Hiya!” you waved. “How do you all put up with his guy?” you shook your head, flicking the walking explosion on the shoulder. “Geez, it’s like holding a bomb....oh wait.” you stared down and Bakugou.

“H-hey! Shut up!” he turned away from you, but you noticed his cheeks were turning bright red.

“We should be asking you that. From the way he talks about you-”

He shut up when Bakugou looked up, glaring potholes into his forehead. You noticed that Bakugou had grabbed onto your hand and wouldn’t let go.

“What happened to your hand?” he asked, seeing a band-aid around your finger. 

“I was making lunch and I burned my finger by accident.” you answered, attempting to pull your hand back. “I was trying to make an omelette and...the stove won.” You pointed to the lunch bag you had prepared.

“WHAT?” you were suddenly yanked down onto his lap, forced to face him. “How many times have I told you to be careful! I’m starting to think I have to do everything for you from now on.” he studied your hand. “Making me worry about you like this...” he sighed. “Does it hurt too bad?”

“Not really.” you looked at your finger. “It’s just a little burn, it’ll heal by tomorrow.”

“You wouldn’t need to worry about it healing had you just been careful in the first place.” he sighed, moving stray hairs from your face. “Why were you trying to cook omlettes anyways, you hate them.”

“No..I hate them when you’re the one cooking them.” you corrected. “Because you always burn them.”

“Hey! The burn gives it extra flavor!” he defended.

“If your favorite flavor is charcoal flavored egg yolk then maybe.” you rolled your eyes as he slipped those annoying strands behind your ears. “Just take your omelette and be happy.” you mumbled, trying to get up. You had no idea why he was acting to weird, but you were over it.

Bakugou wrapped his arms around you, making you sit back down on his lap as he opened the lunchbox. He was welcomed by a piece of paper a heart, some stick figures, and “I love you” written in big words on it.

“Are these stick figures?” he picked up the little love note you had left. He stare at the spiky haired stick figure. “Is this supposed to be me?”

“Look! There’s me..then there’s you! Spark Sparky Boom Boom!” you giggled at your own lame joke. 

You were taken aback when you saw his friends’ eyes widened as if you just told your mother to get fucked. They all looked at Bakugou, almost seeming scared of what he was gonna do. Probably because he hated when his quirk was made fun of.

“..Thanks.” he mumbled, making you smile as he kissed your cheek.

You turned towards Bakugou’s friends, who all looked shocked, taken aback, and something else.

“Something fucking funny Deku?!” Bakugou barked at Izuku who was trying to hide a laugh. “I’ll kick your ass if you have something to say!”

All of Bakugou’s friends watch as Bakugou took some of the omelette onto the fork and fed you. It was like seeing an entirely different person since you walk into the room. His reasoning?

“Since I can’t count on you to not hurt yourself without me around, I have to feed you.”

The funny part was only you would ever see this side of Bakugou ever, and he would deny it with his life but he wished he wasn’t so harsh on you sometimes. You weren’t just another punk, you weren’t a Deku(sorry broccoli head, I still love you) ...you were Y/N...he loved you and if he had to be afraid to show it...then how would you feel?

( How was this? Was it good? I’m hoping I did well because this was my first BNHA imagine.

FYI....Todoroki is my fave so like...if yall tryna request for him..I ain’t gonna say no)

[murasaki-murasame]

Oh boy that sure was a whole lotta stuff going on in the 1.5-year anniversary digest video, huh?

I was hoping to post some of my predictions and hopes for it beforehand but life stuff got in the way so here we are, lol.

Anyway there’s a lot I wanna talk about across the board so it’ll go under a cut.

When I saw that this digest was like 20 minutes long I figured it’d be padded out, but lol it’s actually even more dense with material than the last one we got. This really makes up for the recent drought of news and content.

Firstly, they immediately showed off Gala Alex, since she’s a given at this point and we all knew it was gonna happen. Funnily enough she actually seems like she might more or less be bait for the banner happening afterward, which also seems to be a shadow element banner.

In general Gala Alex is a weird and complicated character and I’m not sure what to make of her. At first glance she doesn’t seem super essential or game-breaking, but she has poison infliction and buff dispel, so I’d probably benefit from getting her since I don’t really have good units with that sort of utility in my shadow team yet. But I’m not gonna bother doing more than the free daily tenfold summons on this gala, since as a whole she doesn’t interest me much and I think I could live without her.

On top of her weird skill chain mechanic which I’m struggling to wrap my head around, she also introduces the chain co-ability feature, but I’ll get to that later since it’s a whole big thing.

Hopefully she’ll at least let people start accepting sword units into eKai, lol. That fight has a very open and accepting meta, unless you’re a sword unit in which case you’re fucked because there’s currently no meta shadow sword units people want for that fight.

We’re also getting two separate platinum summons for this gala that cover the past gala units, which is honestly kinda tempting to me since I still don’t have Gala Elly, but I’d just have a 1/3 chance of getting her instead of the other two gala units on her platinum summon, who I already have, so it wouldn’t be worth it.

Then there’s a whole bunch of free summons and wyrmite from new endeavors and co-op rewards getting reset. Which will be helpful in building my stash back up, but I’m probably still gonna avoid spending any resources on this gala.

I’m happy that this gala seems like one I can skip, since I went all in to get Tobias, and I didn’t want to end up regretting that.

Anyway, we also got a look at the next raid event, which will start at the end of this month. It looks like it’s another shadow element one, which just reminds me even more how much we need another wind element raid event, but it looks cool. Aldred has a fun, edgy design. I hope he’s actually worth using. As a shadow unit, he’ll at least be competing with the most stacked element in the game. It also looks like the event’s story is gonna involve the Syndicate, which we’ve actually known about via wyrmprint lore since the game came out, but they’ve never come up until now, so that’s interesting.

They also showed off the banner units, who look cool, but it’d take a lot for me to want to summon for them since I have so many good shadow units as it is. They also said it’ll be another two-part banner, which is getting really annoying.

We’re also getting a rerun of the FEH collab event, along with some sort of a new part two event for it, so that’s cool. I started playing the game at the tail end of the FEH collab originally, but I didn’t actually take part in it since I had performance anxiety about doing any of the co-op stuff, lol. So this means i’ll at least finally be able to get Alfonse.

I think the part two event is probably gonna involve more Fire Emblem characters who’ll be on their own banner, but like with the existing FE units, i don’t really have any attachment to that franchise so I probably wouldn’t be interested in pulling for them.

Though on that note, they did say that all of the four existing FEH units will get mana spirals, which might be interesting. But since I already have Euden and Xainfried at 70MC, as well as Gleo, I don’t think I’d be interested in pulling for Marth, Fjorm, or Veronica, lol. It’s at least interesting to set up this precedent, though. I guess we can assume that if Megaman ever gets rerun, he’ll get a mana spiral too.

If we get new FEH units in a part two banner for the event, I feel like they might end up being a bit underwhelming, since they probably won’t come with mana spirals built into their kits, but we’ll see how it goes.

We also got teasers for the next three main story chapters, which isn’t what I expected at all. We already knew when they’d be coming out since they’re on a fixed schedule now, but I didn’t expect actual teasers of the story content in them. Though tbh the thing that intrigues me the most is the gameplay clips of chapter 14 that involve unique maps based around the Alberian capital. I didn’t think we’d get to actually do stuff there, so that’s cool.

Also, them teasing at Leif showing up in chapter 13 is making me think that either he’ll be the next gala unit, or a welfare unit. Hopefully the latter, since he’s obviously a light sword unit and we already have Gala Euden as a light sword. If he’s a welfare unit, though, I hope he’s not super weak like Laxi.

We’re also getting the event replay feature, but sadly it seems like there won’t be any raid events in it at first, and the facility events included from the start are ones that have gotten reruns relatively recently. So that’s a bit lame. I’m glad they said that they plan on adding raid events to it, though. It looks like you can at least get the facilities from the facility events, so I hope we can also get the welfare units from raid events.

With the new version update they’re also apparently introducing a new currency called fafnir medals which can, to some degree or another, be exchanged for different materials. There’s a whole list of them, but let’s be honest here. The only one that actually matters is the gold testaments, lmao. Unless there’s a really rigid cap on how many of them you can trade for each week/month, that’ll probably be the main thing people trade for. Hopefully it can help address the need for more testaments [especially now that co-abilities are a bit more important]

Then there’s a few bits and pieces to the 1.18 update that they didn’t even mention in the digest. Like how there’ll be adjustments to daily endeavors, the addition of normal endeavors related to using skip tickets on your daily stages, and the ability to check your summon history. But the biggest deal they didn’t mention is how they’re standardizing drop rates in e/mHDTs, and adding horns to the weekly bonus chests for eHDTs. Which is basically exactly what people had been asking for.

We’re also eventually gonna get our encyclopedia feature, which will be nice, especially since it apparently comes with rewards based on how much stuff you have. Which will probably provide a huge batch of rewards to old players right off the bat.

They also showed off two more Agito bosses, who will probably be the next two ones. They didn’t say which would come out next, exactly, but we at least got their names and full designs, which also spells out what elements they are. I can’t actually remember their names at the moment, but the Sylvan lady is water, while the twins are flame. Since wind units have been getting some attention lately, I think the Sylvan lady will be next, and then the flame twins afterward, but we’ll see. One way or another I think the final Agito is gonna be the shadow element one. Which is a bit lame, since my light team really needs a boost. Oh well.

Oh, and they also teased at the Agito, or at least Volk, being formally introduced in chapter 14 of the main campaign, so that’s interesting.

And of course one of the biggest things in this whole update is the huge changes to co-abilities in general. Chain co-abilities are the main thing, but I’m also really intrigued by how in co-op matches, you’ll now take on the effects of your own team’s co-abilities, rather than the co-abilities of the main units your team-mates are using. On the one hand it means you can more comfortably run multiple units of the same weapon type in co-op without feeling like it’s a waste, but I feel like it’s also gonna introduce new ways to cheese some fights, like how 4-Gleo comps can now benefit from stuff like defensive co-abilities from AI units. I think that sort of situation was an intentional choice on Cygames’ part, though. It seems like their way of helping to make end-game content easier and more accessible. It also means that you have to depend less on your team-mates if you need stuff like defensive coabilities to survive an opening blast or something. So you can control that yourself and not worry about what co-op room you end up in.

But the real star of the show, whether or not it ends up being more game-changing than the change to how co-abilities are applied in general, is the chain co-ability feature. Which basically just seems to be a straight up second co-ability that every unit gets, but with the unique quality that they can stack with each other. I don’t actually know how often you’d bother stacking them, though. I looked through all the units I own and what chain co-abilities they have, and it seems like in each element, it’s usually units of the same weapon type that have overlapping chain co-abilities [like Mitsuhide and Fritz getting combo time]. So most of the time I don’t think you’d bother. It also looks like they’re kinda under-tuned, stat-wise, probably to compensate for them being stackable, so I think they might ultimately not be a huge deal, but hey, it’s just a straight up bonus set of stats on top of everything else, lol.

It’s a bit overwhelming since literally EVERY character has a chain co-ability now, and there’s way more variety in them than with regular co-abilities, but there are a few that stick out to me.

-Water seems to be the only element with units that have buff time chain co-abilities, from what I can tell, with Renee, S-Estelle, and Cibella having it. I think this might make S-Estelle a more valued AI team-mate for water teams, since buff time is a pretty big deal, and she also brings the skill damage coability.

-Light seems like one of the main cases where you might stack chain co-abilities, since S-Luca, Annelie, and Fritz have the same one that gives a strength buff whenever you get an energy stack [with a cooldown]. Which I think has a lot of potential, depending on how exactly it works.

-On a similar note, Lucretia has one that gives her a chance to get inspiration stacks when she gets energy stacks [I forget if it applies to just her or the whole team, though], which is interesting. I had a feeling they’d start adding inspiration mechanics to light to complement the amount of energy mechanics going on with them.

-OG Xainfried gets Dragon Claws VI, which seems like it’ll probably be a pretty huge deal for him. Pipple also gets about 18% dragon haste when he’s maxed out, which seems like it’d complement really nicely with Xainfried’s kit.

-Mitsuhide and Fritz’s combo time chain co-ability is gonna be REALLY nice for Gala Luca, since he kinda struggles to keep a high combo, but part of his kit relies on it.

-There’s a whole lot of units who get defensive chain co-abilities which will probably help people get by in HDTs even more. Including units with offensive co-abilities like Mikoto and Valerio.

All in all it seems like a really overwhelming and potentially game-changing mechanic. I also think it’s gonna be just about impossible to properly reflect the implications of it in the DPS sims, lol. This introduces way too many variables. And even then, the DPS sims won’t account for any of the more defensive ones, which have their own value.

Since the chain co-abilities seem to be tied to the regular co-abilities with how they get upgraded, it sounds like this is gonna incentivize getting more people’s co-ability nodes, which will also involve more use of testaments.

The chain co-abilities are one thing, but there’s also some interesting uses for how you benefit from your own AI members’ co-abilities in co-op. Mainly for characters with unique co-abilities like Tobias, H-Mym, and V-Melody. I think Ezelith is gonna basically always want to have an H-Mym on her team, Lin You is gonna want V-Melody on her team, and any wind buffer other than Tobias is gonna want a Tobias on the team to give them more buff-time.

Oh, and I almost forgot that they also casually mentioned that they’re gonna be bringing back defensive battle event types in the future. They didn’t go into much detail about it, but I assume it means that we’ll get more random events once in a while with the same sort of format as the FEH one. Hopefully that’d help alleviate the feeling of stagnation that comes with constantly alternating between raid and facility events endlessly. Since I didn’t actually participate in the FEH event I don’t know what that whole event type entails, though.

I’m probably forgetting lots of stuff they talked about, but they talked about a LOT of stuff, lol. It’s hard to keep track of it all. I wasn’t expecting such a substantial update for the 1.5-year anniversary, but I’m happy with it.

[choupetit]

GOT Recap:  A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

Airdate: 4/21/19 ;  Season 8, Episode 2

Meep, things are really heating up on Game of Thrones!  Or rather, cooling down…oh heck, I don’t know what to do with all the Fire and Ice metaphors. Let’s just say, stuff is getting real and the latest installment of GOT  gave us one last moment to enjoy the fuzzy warm feels before next week’s huge battle against the Night King’s army begins.  This last episode was all about wish fulfillment and tying up loose ends for viewers – and I’m still a bit conflicted about how I feel about it all. But fear not, we’ll get into my two cents about it very soon.  Now, find a warm body to snuggle up to and get a toasty fire going, because the night is dark and full of manipulative story ploys.  Here’s my recap of:  “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.”

I Know What You Did Last Long Summer

We start things off with Jaime Lannister standing before a tribunal in the Great Hall at Winterfell, with Sansa Stark, Daenerys Targaryen, and Jon Snow seated at the VIP table. Dany shares that she and her brother grew up talking about what they would do to the man who murdered their father, once they captured him and reclaimed the Seven Kingdoms.  She points out that Cersei promised her an army, and instead has only sent one man with one hand.  Ouch, that smarts.  Jaime fills everybody in on Cersei’s plan: She isn’t sending any help. Rather, Queen Cersei has procured a hired army and is sending them to Winterfell to finish off whatever survivors are left after the impending war against the Dead.  She lied to them all – Jaime included – and he left her to come and join Jon and Dany’s battle for the living.  Daenerys casts a pointed gaze at Tyrion Lannister, who looks miserable. Ya done messed up, Ty!

Dany wonders how they can possibly trust Jaime. Tyrion sticks up for his brother, but is shot down by Daenerys who counters that perhaps this is an elaborate scheme for Jaime to assassinate her.  Sansa chimes in that Jamie can’t be trusted, and lists the crappy things he did to House Stark, including attacking Ned Stark back in Season 1.  When Jaime defends his actions saying it was during a time of war, and that he was protecting his family, Bran dryly states “The things we do for love.” Fear flickers in Jaime’s eyes.  Bran knows!  

Brienne of Tarth steps up and defends Jaime.  She tells Dany how she and Jaime were captured a few years back and he defended her when she was this close to getting raped – and lost his hand in the process. To Sansa, she says that it’s only due to Jaime’s honor in keeping his word to Catelyn Stark that Brienne was able to find and save Sansa from the sadistic Ramsay Bolton.  This is enough to change Sansa’s mind.  Dany seems peeved by Sansa’s about-face and asks Jon what he thinks.  Visibly still grappling with the bombshell about his parents, Jon doesn’t even look at Dany and simply states they need all the extra help they can get.  Dany allows Jaime to stay and fight with them, and they all rise.  Sansa huffs off and when Dany turns to Jon, he’s all “K gotta run, byeeee.” Ugh, you let a guy ride your dragon one time and then he gets all weird on you.  Brienne shoots Jaime a look that clearly states “Don’t make me regret sticking my neck out for you,” and Bran just stares at him.  Again.  Creepily.

Rebuffed by her lover, and fuming about Cersei’s deceipt, Dany is ripe to start throwing cell phones at her assistants.  She chews out Tyrion for being either in cahoots with Cersei, or a damn fool. When Tyrion tells her it’s the latter, she retorts “It’s not the first time,” and indicates his time may be up serving as Hand of the Queen.  Varys and Ser Jorah are all “Awwwwkward.”

Number 1 Crush

At the Winterfell forge, we see Gendry’s handiwork:  Tons and tons of spearheads and other weapons made of dragonglass are ready to be wielded. As Gendry works, Arya approaches and takes in all his hunky, sweaty manliness, then asks him about the weapon she requested.  “Yeah, I’ll get right on that after I make a few thousand more of these. Shouldn’t you be hanging out in the crypts anyway when the fighting begins?  It’s the safest place to be.” Arya questions why he thinks he’s qualified to fight – he’s just a blacksmith.  When he tells her he killed a few of the Dead and she wants to know what they’re like, his reply is “Really bad”. “How bad are we talking, dude?  What do they look like? How do they smell? When they change a toilet paper roll, do they do it the wrong way or the right way – and don’t you DARE say there isn’t a right way, Gendry!!” “Ok, fine, they’re like death, ok?” “Oh, cool, I know all about death!” Arya gives Gendry an impressive demo of her razor sharp knife throwing skills – it’s instant bonerville for Gendry.  “So…how about that weapon?” – “Yes, ma’am, coming right up!!” Ok, these two flirting is just too much. Arya is such a badass, I love it! And she deserves a little joy in her life.

Meanwhile, a very remorseful Jaime seeks out Bran by the Weirwood tree and apologizes for pushing him out the tower window all those years ago, rendering him a paraplegic. Jaime questions why Bran didn’t tell the others about this, and Bran tells him he can’t be much use in their fight if Bran lets his family murder Jaime.  “But aren’t you mad at me?” Let’s just break this down for you, dude: Bran ain’t mad at anybody.  He is so beyond all those petty human emotions, because OMG you guys are all about to be annihilated by ruthless ice zombies and Bran is trying to figure out how to stop it.  “Ok, so what happens after?” asks Jaime. Bran counters, “What makes you think there is an after?”

Oooh sidebar! Y’all I have been knee deep in GOT theories the past few weeks, and one of the theories I’m really into says that Jaime might be Azor Ahai (the Prince who was Promised) and plays a huge role in defeating the Night King.  There’s this whole prophecy about it in the books, and the High Valyerian words for “Gold” and “Hand” are very similar to the words “Lord” and “Light”. After this chat with Bran, I’m convinced Jaime is a key player in ending the Night King’s reign.

Later, Tyrion and Jaime walk around the courtyard, discussing the two queens.  Tyrion says how he truly believes Daenerys will be a great queen for the realm, and the two commiserate over how Cersei fooled them – the part about being pregnant is true, though.   Tyrion notes that Jaime has never been fooled by Cersei, he’s always loved her in spite of her miserable character.  When Tyrion remarks that they are likely going to die at Winterfell, he muses that at least Cersei won’t have the satisfaction of killing him.  Hey, maybe his dead corpse will go down to King’s Landing and tear her apart - but Jaime isn’t listening.  He is distracted by something else – or rather someone:  

Brienne of Tarth, is on the practice field, watching Podrick as he spars with another fighter.  Jaime shows up and chats with her about the impending battle. Brienne is weirded out by how nice Jaime is acting, because he’s always shown  his snarky side around her in the past.  He tells her he returned to Winterfell because we wants to serve under her command. She excuses herself.  Oh man! Brienne has been holding a torch for Jaime for so many seasons and he is finally sorta living up to the person she has seen in him all along: a good and honorable guy.  And he came to Winterfell to fight alongside her? Hubba hubba.  And yet…I don’t see anything romantic ever happening between these two, even though there is something there.  It just feels like he’s the super popular dude who’s had a lot of personal growth and really likes her and cares for her, but will never actually date her because she isn’t a supermodel.  Ya know what I mean?  Brienne is in the friend zone 4eva. Also, I think this whole exchange means Brienne ain’t long for this world – she’s probably going to sacrifice herself to save Jaime during the battle. Sorry, Bri Bri!  We love you, though!

A Matter of Trust

In Daenerys’s quarters, Ser Jorah takes a moment to tell her to take it easy on Tyrion.  He knows his Khaleesi is super pissed, but he advises her to see past Tyrion’s flub and keep him on as Hand of the Queen because he has a super big brain.  Coming from Jorah, this means a lot.  Then he offers another suggestion:  Make more of an effort with Sansa Stark.

In the great hall, Dany requests a heart to heart with Sansa Stark who also puts in a good word for Tyrion when Daenerys makes a snarky remark about not having faith in her advisors. Geez Louise, everybody is sticking up for Tyrion in this episode!  The conversation turns to Dany drawing comparisons between herself and Sansa as female leaders in a man’s world and then she’s all “Girls rule, yay!!!  So...why don’t you like me?” - “Honestly?  Because guys can do pretty dumb stuff for women and they’re easily manipulated. And you basically convinced Jon to give up his crown for you”  Dany’s all: “Ok, so, real talk? I was all about taking the Iron Throne, and then Jon pops up and tells me about these weird Snow Zombies coming to destroy us all, and I dropped everything to help him fight his war, so…who is being manipulated?”  [Personally, I think that’s a lame argument, because obviously the survival of mankind is still totally in your interest, Daenerys, because if they are all dead you don’t have anybody to rule, m’kay?]  Sansa  warms a bit to Dany, and tells her she should have thanked her when she arrived.  But just as Daenerys is cozying up to Sansa and holding her hands, Sansa takes things right back to business – God, I love her for it:   “So, Dany, riddle me this:  Let’s say we defeat the Night King and Cersei. ��What happens next?” Dany’s face is a little perplexed “Um, I rule on the Iron Throne.  Obviously.” –“Yeah, but what about the North?  We took back our land and we swore we’d never give it back, so…what about the North?” This does not make Dany happy, and she looks about ready to lose it.  

Thankfully, however, their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of:  Theon Greyjoy and his men.  He fills them in on the successful rescue of Yara, and informs Queen Daenerys that Yara is reclaiming the Iron Isles for Dany.  He returned to fight for Winterfell – if they’ll have him.  Sansa’s eyes fill with tears and she rushes to embrace Theon.  It’s a very sweet moment but also, I’m immediately worried that the writers are going to try and make something romantic happen here.  Ew, not Theon. I’m just going to chalk this up to him and Sansa sharing a strong mutual survivor bond.  Also, my death prediction: Theon is sooo gonna die.  And they've been making Daenerys super unlikeable these past two episodes that it has me a little nervous they might off her, too.

In the courtyard, Davos is running a soup kitchen and gives a short pep talk to some of the men who have arrived.  Gilly is telling some girls how safe the crypts are – the safest place at Winterfell, actually.  You guys, make sure you write this down:  The crypts - where they keep all the dead bodies which have not been burned - are the safest place in Winterfell.   So if you have zero fighting skills, you really totally without a doubt need to head to the crypts where no dead bodies will suddenly come to life and attack you because the crypts are S-A-F-E, you got it?  

A little girl asks where she should go when the battle starts because she wants to fight, too. Gilly advises her to go to…you got it. The crypts. Le sigh.

A horn blows and Jon turns the corner to see who it is:  The Night’s Watch from Castle Black have arrived and as he goes to bro hug Dolorous Edd, he’s tackled by Thormund Giantsbane like an overjoyed Saint Bernard pup. Beric Dondarrion is there, too.  Yay, Jon’s happy to see them all and probably is even happier that he has more legit reasons to avoid Daenerys.  His friends inform him they met up at the Last Hearth - everybody was dead and gone.  It’s safe to assume anybody who hasn’t made it to Winterfell by now has been claimed by the Night King’s army.  Jon asks how long until the Dead will arrive and Thormund replies:  Just before sunrise. Also, Thormund would really like to know where Brienne is.  Oh me, oh my – will my Brienne, Jaime, Thormund troika dreams come true? Unlikely, but I do love Thormund’s interest in Brienne, if only for the comic relief it provides.

In the war room, all the important peeps have gathered to talk strategy.  The Night King’s army is too big, and they never tire, so Jon & Co. won’t be able to beat them in a straight fight.  Their best chance at survival is to kill the Night King – if they kill him, they kill his army.  But how? If he’s that important, the Night King won’t risk exposing himself – when they say this, I just imagine the Night King in a long trench coat.  Yeah, I’m mature.  Bran volunteers to be human bait, because the Night King is after him.  But why, Bran, why? We discover that the Night King’s ultimate goal is an endless night and he wants to wipe out all trace of men and their memories.  Bran is basically a human hard drive with the entire history of their world and the Night King wants to erase it all.  I don’t know…it’s kind of a weird reason to me.  I mean, if the Night King is gonna kill everybody anyway, why is it so important that he kill Bran first?  Sam waxes poetic about death and how when we die our memories are forgotten and we are forgotten, blah, blah, blah, but I still don’t get it.  What is the difference between wiping out all of mankind’s history and killing everybody vs. just wiping out mankind?  Wouldn’t wiping out mankind just, like...wipe out mankind and its history?  I don’t know folks.  Clue me in if you understand. Or is it just a matter of getting rid of any evidence on how to stop the Night King? In that case, just say so, Bran.

Anyhoo, Bran will wait for the Night King in the Godswood – he has a GPS tracking device on him, so the Night King always knows where he is.  His siblings are vehemently against it, but Theon volunteers to be there with his guys to help protect Bran.  Why do we think this is a better idea than Bran’s own family protecting him?  I mean, other than simply using this as a plot device for Theon to die while defending Bran and thus somehow redeem himself for all the shitty stuff he did to the Stark kids when they were younger? Obviously, I’m not a big fan of this scene.

Dany tells Tyrion he’ll have to wait in the crypts during the battle because: a) they are super safe and b) Dany needs his mind because her faith in him has been restored. Yeah, after hearing what everybody told her so far, she also polled 28 whores about his character and realized she shouldn’t fire him after all because he’s a good dude and actually really smart.  Except for when it comes to trusting his evil sister, whose superpower is stabbing people in the back, who has always hated him, and has never done anything in her life to prove herself trustworthy in his eyes.

Oh, and one more thing: They’ll need to have the dragons close by to save Bran if things go bad.  Not too close to give anything away.  Just close enough to probably be completely useless and get one more dragon killed.  M’kay? Sounds like a plan, team!  

As they wrap things up, Thormund points out the silver lining: They are all going to die, but at least they’ll die together.  He flashes a winning look at Brienne.  Jon hastily leaves, expertly avoiding Dany once again, and everybody except Bran and Tyrion exits the room.  Tyrion tells Bran he wants to hear all about his stories and they both settle in next to the fire.

One Last Waltz

And now…get ready for the showrunners to check off all your hopes and dreams for all your favorite characters so you can have one final lovely memory of them all alive before everything goes to hell:

In the courtyard, Grew Worm and Missandei share a special moment where they make plans for the future. Once Grey Worm has finished securing the throne for Daenerys, he’s gonna retire with Missandei and she can visit her home again.  And he’ll keep her and her peeps safe with his Unsullied pals as they live happily ever after. So…he’s gonna die, right?

On the ramparts, Jon and Sam hang together with Ghost nearby.  Yay, finally we see a direwolf again!  Sam asks Jon when he is going to fill Daenerys in on the revelation of Jon’s true parents.  Edd arrives and declares “And now our watch begins.” Gilly and little Sam will be in the crypts (wanna know why?) and Jon tells Sam he can go, too – to protect them – but Sam scoffs and asks his buds to give him some credit.  He was, after all the first of them to kill a white walker and discover other ways to defeat the Dead.  They take a moment to remember their fallen friends from the Night’s Watch and Edd grimly states “Last man left, burn the rest of us.”

In the Great Hall, Tyrion and Jaime sit by the fire and enjoy a cup of wine as they ponder how much they’ve changed since their last visit to Winterfell and Tyrion bemoans the perils of self betterment – gone are his days of excessive drinking and whoreing.

Brienne and Podrick arrive in the great hall – oh hai, guys!  They were looking for a place to warm up, and Jaime insists that they join him and his bro. Brienne agrees – obviously. Is she going to pass up the chance to be with her hunky unrequited love? Never.  Oh, and would you look at that!  Davos and Thormund pop in as well to join some theater in the round. Thormund regales them with a hilarious story of how he got the “Giantsbane” moniker. Truly, he is the shining star in this episode and certainly in this scene. I’m feeling extra manipulated by the show – now that we’re more emotionally invested in him, I’m 100% sure that he’ll be killed off next week.

Up on the ramparts, Arya sees the Hound and sits next to him.  They have a nice moment when she questions why he’s even here fighting with everybody.  “When is the last time you fought for anybody?”, she asks.  He replies gruffly, “I fought for you, didn’t I?” And that is the line that wins the night.  Awwwww, I love the Hound.  Then Beric Dondarrion shows up and ruins the moment.  He apologizes to Arya for the way they parted the last time they saw each other – ya know, when he sold out Gendry to Melisandre to do her voodoo magic.  When he starts talking about the Lord of Light, the Hound tells him to shut his trap and Arya is all “Peace out, I’m gonna find something better to do than spend my final hours with you old farts.”

Next, Arya whiles away the time with some archery practice when Gendry arrives with the weapon he’s fashioned for her.  It’s a spear and she gives it a whirl – not bad at all.  As she shows off her fancy spear twirling skills, Arya asks Gendry what Melisandre did to him after she took him, and he tells her about the blood magic.   She assumes (correctly) that Melisandre had sex with Gendry and suddenly Arya is grilling Gendry about all his past partners, presumably calculating her risk of contracting syphilis.  Apparently, Gendry’s number of former lovers is satisfactory and Arya reveals that if she’s going to die in the battle against the dead, she wants to at least know what sex feels like and they get. It. On.  Oh my stars!! I’m equal parts stoked that Arya and Gendry hooked up, and also intensely worried now that one of them will die – maybe even both of them. Gah!  I wish I wasn’t so traumatized by GOT to assume that any time a good moment happens, it will be yanked away, but such is the life of the Game of Thrones fan:  We can’t have nice things.

Call Me By Your Name

Back in the Great Hall, Tyrion remarks how all of the people in the room had at one point fought the Starks in one way or another, and now they are united in fighting together at Winterfell.  As Tyrion gives them all a verbal pat on the back for surviving so many battles, he accidentally calls Brienne “Ser” and corrects himself.  Thormund is confused that Brienne isn’t a knight, and she tells him women can’t be knights because sexist traditions are alive and well in Westeros. When Thormund tells her he’d make her a knight if he were king, Jaime points out that you don’t need a king to be knighted – another knight can do it. And so, with a little coaxing everybody encourages Brienne to get knighted.  She’s always wanted to be a knight and she accepts the honor with all the grace and reverence it warrants.  Ser Jaime Lannister taps her shoulders with his sword, reciting the words and at last proclaims her a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.  As the men in the room start a slow clap and cheer for her, Ser Brienne of Tarth rises with tears in her eyes and a luminous smile.  Oh God, she’s toast now!!!!

In the courtyard, Ser Jorah Mormont and his little cuz Lyanna Mormont argue.  He thinks she should go to the crypts –I really don’t want to say this, but I must…because they are the safest place to be—and Lyanna insists that she vowed to fight, and that’s precisely what she’ll do.  She wishes him well just as Samwell Tarly shows up. He presents his family’s sword to Ser Jorah.  It’s called Heartsbane and it’s made of Valyrian steel.  The sword is too heavy for Sam to wield himself.  He shares that Lord Commander Mormont – Jorah’s father – was a wonderful mentor who taught Sam to always do what’s right, and Sam would be honored for Jorah to have it.  Ser Jorah accepts the weapon, and then Sam has to go and say something like: “I’ll see you when the battle’s through.” F#$K!!!! So now Jorah’s gonna die?! I can’t take it, you guys!

Aaaand we’re back at the Great Hall, where the wine has run out and the karaoke portion of the night has begun.  Podrick, it turns out, has the voice of an angel and treats the group to a lovely and haunting melody.  It’s a perfect tune for a montage scene and we get one last glimpse of all the characters we’ve come to love as they have one last tender and bittersweet moment of togetherness.

In the ever-so-safe crypts, Jon stands at Lyanna’s coffin and statue, and Daenerys approaches. She asks who the statue is of, and Jon simply says “Lyanna Stark.” Dany knows the story of Lyanna’s abduction – she tells Jon that she grew up hearing such good things about her brother Rhaegar, who was known to be kind and decent, and yet, he raped Lyanna.  Jon corrects her “Oh, but he didn’t,” and all the details spill out.  Dany is shook by the revelation that Jon is actually Rhaegar’s legitimate son and asks how he knows this – she is not impressed by Jon’s sources and points out how convenient it is that his brother and best friend are the only people who can corroborate the story.  Her thoughts immediately go to the Iron Throne and the fact that Jon would have a better claim to it, if what he says is true. Before they can go into things further, a horn sounds: The Dead are here.  Jon and Dany give each other a look of agreement and both storm off – presumably to ride some dragons.

In the dark, a horse’s hoof stops in the snow and as the camera pans up, it reveals the Night King’s lieutenants all lined up in formation, ready for the attack, their gaze fixed upon Winterfell in the near distance.   Roll credits.

Holy moly so many people are gonna die next week, and I am losing my mind over here!  This episode was a lot of things, and while I feel like I got all the moments I technically wanted, I also feel weirdly placated by the writers for actually giving those moments to us viewers.   I’m not sure how true some of the actions were to the characters, and it seemed more like the last 20 minutes were purely catering to the audience’s wishes before the showrunners kill off all the people they shone a spotlight on in this episode. It’s hard to truly enjoy something when you feel like you’re being set up for a fall, ya know?  But overall, it was a fine episode to set up the epic battle next week.

The takeaways for me were: Jaime has an important role to play in ending the long night.  Dany’s whole worldview is going to have to be reconsidered unless of course she (or Jon) dies, making the whole “Who deserves the crown more?” a moot point.  Maybe she’ll even screw Jon over?  Tyrion will likely survive and I’m wondering if Bran shared something important with him during their chat.  That way, if Bran should perish, Tyrion will have some trump card of knowledge to share with the others.  Arya is probably toast – if not, then Gendry is. Brienne will die – for SURE!  Oh, and the crypts are the least safe place to be and some freaky deaky stuff is gonna happen down there next episode.

I would like to point out that we didn’t actually see the Night King standing outside Winterfell with his homies.  Like I mentioned earlier, I am reading so many different theories and one is that the Night King is splitting up his army, and he is heading straight to King’s Landing with his ice dragon to torch the city and turn its 1 million inhabitants into an army that nobody can match.  

Will all my death predictions come true?  Will the Night King fool us all and fly to Essos to kill the fire priestesses? Or will Melisandre suddenly pop up at the 11th hour to save the day?  Are there any other important theories I have yet to discover? I’m sure by next week we’ll know a lot more, and also be bawling our eyes out as Jaime tenderly holds a dying Brienne in his arms, who it turn holds a dying Thormund in hers.  It could happen, you guys.  I’ll see ya here next week for a grief group therapy session!

[basshouse]

Donkeys Down Under Part 2

Make sure you start with this blog post, its the first in the series and this is a serial! 

In the first post, I started with How We Got Here.  Next up: 

Where we are. 

We live on Centaurus Road in Hillsborough, Christchurch (not-so-subliminal hint: sending a package will cost you an arm and a leg, but it’ll be worth it to see the smiles on our faces if you include a few packets of Hidden Valley Ranch mix).  

Christchurch is the biggest city on the South Island, with a whopping 375,000 people or so  – pretty big considering the whole country is just under 5 million people, and only about 30% of them live on the South Island at all. You can do your own research on the city’s history and geography if you like. The city is big enough to have good restaurants, bars, craft beer, and various forms of mild entertainment like tennis clubs, live music from time to time, exercise options...more cosmopolitan than we expected but super easy navigate and access to surfing beaches, mountains, rivers, lakes, coasts, bike trails. 

Our house is perched on the Port Hills, a short walk from the renowned Rapaki Track and a 10 minute drive to Sumner Beach (our regular surfing spot). The house has great views, an extra room for guests, and a lot of character – including:

A bathroom with handmade cat tiles and a shower with a strong homemade underwater motif.

A crazy garden full of roses, really loud birds, the odd hedgehog, and a zillion fruit trees that we don’t know how to manage.  Seriously, you should have seen me and Jason and Anily trying to shake down a tree full of plums without any useful protective gear – next time we’ll get out the ski goggles and helmets. 

A small plant growing up through the living room floor.  

A bathroom sink that’s even smaller than the one in our house in Seattle – really! 

Checkerboard linoleum floors. 

Sailboat wallpaper in one room and the ugliest damn curtains you’ve ever seen in others. Like, mauve. And flowered. Sometimes at the same time.

A fantastic sunroom that is the home of our new ping pong table and our surfboard rack.  Thankfully we did not have to get rid of the college dude vibe we had so carefully cultivated with our basement kegerator, Pacman machine and discarded drum set in the last house; we just evolved it a little -- the NZ version has a slightly more active characteristic. At this point Jason and I won’t be the ones playing the drinking games, but as I like to say, the best thing about being a grown up is giving yourself the permission to buy the toys that let you be the grown up you want to be.  Actually, I will probably never say that again because it’s a lot of words, but I’m committed to the philosophy behind it. More on toys and activities and drinking later.

The house has a fat deck with views of the Southern Alps

A super steep driveway and very slippery stairs (consider this your warning and legal disclaimer). 

You can’t see all the awesome details of the house in the satellite picture, but you can click and then zoom around if you want to see where we’re situated:

Our house is in a great spot.  It’s an easy bike ride to school and work and a short trip to the best grocery store in town, where you can buy a box of Gorilla Munch cereal for $8 and a small bag of Cheetos for $5 – in the international aisle, of course.  I refuse to document what else is in the American section.  I haven’t broken down and paid for the  Cheetos yet, but Anily really likes to eat Gorilla Munch before school, so, yes, this blog DOES contain a shopping list for things you should put in your extra suitcase when you come to visit (see if you can spot them all).  

We feel really lucky to have this house, and there are a few good lessons wrapped up in how we got this place with its weathered wood and tiny sinks and toilets.  One, surely, is not to lean too far for the toilet paper, especially if you can’t count on your core strength.  For not only are the toilets tiny, the seats on them are weak, and butt cheeks can be slippery.  Let’s just say the quality of the toilet seats has been a topic of more than one conversation among the American crew here, and one of us (not saying who) has a story that ends with a minor injury and a full bathroom clean up before coffee.

Anyway, for the real estate buffs out there, here’s how we won the rental house lottery: we landed in CHCH with ZERO idea of where to live and not much of a plan. We’d never been to this city, and luckily we had the sense not to commit to anything in advance.  That’s lesson #2 : it’s just too hard to know the vibe of a place without having feet on the ground, and internet research isn’t reliable for choosing a long-term place to live, so don’t commit if you don’t have to.  Good thing too, since most of what we read online in advance would have had us living on the west side of town, which is pretty much a mall, but of the NZ variety, which – shout out to my SA peeps – is reminiscent of the Central Park Mall in 1987, only without a Spencer’s and sub in a Kmart as the flagship instead of the Jacque Pen-nay’s. 

So we got to town, I went to work, and Jason started with schools.  Like many other places, school attendance is based on where you live, though there are schools that have open enrollment.  We got here at the end of the Seattle school year and basically decided to throw the kids right back in school until the summer break, which is December here.   Nice, right? A whole year of school to go with your whole year of winter, love you!  But honestly, it was the best thing for them to start socializing and acclimating without any academic pressure since they were already bored and missing friends after 20+ hours of plane travel and a couple days of down time.  A public school that we’d read about – Cashmere High – had an open day for potential students literally the day after we landed.  Jason took the kids to it, they liked the school, James sank a couple shots in the gym, we saw that surfing and skiing are on offer as school sports, and we immediately focused our energy on finding a place to live in the Cashmere school zone.

Which brings me to another lesson, the most important one, and something I need remind myself of constantly: don’t make it harder than it has to be.  Take the path that presents itself, make one important choice at a time, follow the clear option, and change direction if you need to once things gets going.  We followed this rule, sometimes unconsciously, throughout the process of getting to NZ and settling in; we took one step at a time, from job interviews to visa applications, to decisions about furniture and packing and pets.  We had no choice, really, it was the only way to handle such a monumental mud slide of hard decisions and logistics, and in the end all the right things happened.  As is the case with the house: once we knew the kids liked the school well enough, we decided to focus energy not on asking more questions or exploring other options, rather we focused on a house search, and in fact this house was the first one we looked at.  Another pro tip?  Show up with 6 months’ worth of rent in cash if you can, and try not to   come off like a criminal, just a decent family who is happy to pull the odd weed out of the navy blue 80s style living room carpet and furnish your own tiny, shockingly expensive fridge.  Because  listen up Americans: here in NZ, the appliances are small and ludicrously expensive, you can negotiate prices in the store, and it’s BYOA to the rental party. I’m not complaining, because that would be some seriously lame 1stworld problem whininess, it’s just something different. 

It took us about a month of AirBnBs to find and move into the house, which was a very cool way to experience other neighborhoods, including a couple beachside communities which would have been our first choice for living but made school and sports and commuting much more complicated (not worth it). 

This isn’t really a story, but it’s  possibly one of the best memories I’ll have in life: the four of us camped out in our living room for almost 6 weeks with literally nothing but an inflatable mattress that deflated progressively and then aggressively at the end, a ping pong table, 4 plastic place settings, a huge (expensive!) television, a few surfboards, and the contents of our duffle bags.  Binge watching “That Seventies Show,” huddling together near the wood burning fire place, waiting for your shipping container to arrive? That’s what brings a family together. 

The day the container arrived was like Christmas, but the one where your kids find out Santa isn’t real: a great day, followed by lots and lots of boxes and paper, the satisfaction of making your kids learn how to construct Ikea furniture, and sadness because once everything is put in order the kids scatter to their own rooms and beds and desks and laptops and you’re not all negotiating  screen time and eating off your ping pong table.  You’ve exited one phase and entered another, and if you’re smart you’ll stay present to them both.  

Just to close this out, here’s a great picture of Jason at one of the AirBnbs we stayed in: 

This is a view from a different one, in Lyttleton: 

Cuties!  XO.

[pixiealtaira]

Dragged Kicking and Screaming  ( 17/ 22)

Title: Dragged Kicking and Screaming  

Or How Burt Hummel Mashed the Hummels and Hudsons Into One Functioning Family.

Characters(s): Kurt, Burt, Carole, Finn, with short appearances by the New Directions guys and various ops who mostly take up space. Rating: PG13 Summary: Somehow the Hummel household and the Hudson household had to come together…

Chapter Nine Chapter Ten

Chapter eleven Chapter twelve  Chapter thirteen  Chapter fourteen

Chapter fifteen  Chapter sixteen

17.

“We have a large barbecue for Labor Day,” Kurt said, bringing the conversation back to holidays. It was abrupt and awkward but it was back to Holidays. “I wrote down the back-to-school stuff Dad just listed. Anyway…We provide all the food…well, us and Jake.  It is in honor of all our workers. It won’t be changing. Just thought you’d like to know. That was what you were invited to the Monday the week before Dad’s heart attack…you know that thing you said you’d come to but never showed up for.”

“We went boating with some of Mom’s friends.  Labor Day is about doing your last big summer fun things anyway…it’s not meant to honor anyone.” Finn said. “That is just stupid.”

“Finn, you should really look up how certain holidays came to be and what they were created for one of these eons.” Kurt answered.

“Kurt…”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Are there any traditions you do for Labor Day?” Burt asked.

“Just go have fun.  Sometimes Mom lets me throw a party. Maybe there is a football game.” Finn just shrugged.

Kurt wrote down “normal labor day stuff like Kurt and Burt have had it since Burt became part owner of the shop” and Finn went to complain but Carole shook her head.

“Next is Halloween.” Kurt said.

“I love Halloween.  We go trick or treating then head to a Halloween party.  This year was kinda lame…I mean Mike and I got stuck taking Puck’s little sister and her friends trick-or-treating and so we went with them and didn’t get much candy.  Can you believe people gave more candy to Puck’s sister and her friends than us bigger kids? But we told Puck we’d help and so we did. And by the time I got to the Adams’ house for the party they’d done the fun stuff and sure it was blast drinking and playing games and stuff but I missed out on the fun.  We got more candy than we did Freshman year when everyone told us we were too old…of course then we had real fun after that so it didn’t matter…and sophomore year I didn’t even go to anything good because Quinn was still lying the her folks and so she made me help with her church’s harvest festival and that was way stupid.  But freshman year was a blast.  Puck didn’t come but the Nelsons and the Adams and I took out Azimio’s older brother’s truck and the Nelsons provided eggs and we just drove around town throwing them at places whenever Adams’ stopped. It was a…”

“Finn…” Carole warned him, trying to stop him from talking more.

“What Mom?  You’re interrupting. I’m sure Burt is getting kick out of this.  He was into sports and stuff when he was young so he was sure to have done stuff like egg cars and buildings and throw pee balloons. I mean all the popular kids do things like that unless they are goody two shoes or pricks who are just popular because they have tons of money but who no one really wants to be friends with.”

“I’d love to hear more Carole.” Burt said sternly. “I have names now that I can inform the police of.  I mean, I doubt anything will be done except give them some kids to look into when these things happen again.”

“What?” Finn shouted. “You can’t do that!  You said yourself you were like us!”

“When I thought you were being insensitive and thoughtless with your words and maybe possibly some slight bullying, again mostly in the name calling department.” Burt said. “However…I can see that you boys have become menaces not only at school but to the whole community. You egged people’s businesses and homes, Finn.  You committed crimes. You committed assaults.  That is beyond name calling and using words inappropriately.”

“But you said you were a ball player.”

“And we didn’t do things like that. I, myself, did something that could be considered vandalism once.  My momma pulled me by the ear to the neighbors and made me wash the mud off the side of her house and then I had to do her chores for three months….for free. Mama and all the other parents nipped it in the bud while we were still five and six and throwing mud and snow. If we did anything like what you just described and even a whisper made it to our coach, we were benched and some kids found themselves off the team for not straightening out their behavior…usually freshmen, upper classmen weren’t that stupid.”

“You can’t do anything.  If you do, I’ll tell.  I’ll tell everyone and they’ll make you sorry you did.” Finn said.

Carole moved to place her hand over her son’s mouth.

“He didn’t mean that Burt.  But you should probably just let this be….I mean it was ages ago.”

“Was it, Carole? Your son stated he was upset he missed the fun this year and then went on to tell us what the fun was from Freshman year…sounds to me like they were at it again this year, too.”

“Yes, but what’s the big fuss.  So someone’s house or business got eggs thrown at it.”

“Goldstein’s butcher’s shop was one that got egged three Halloweens ago. They also broke two windows. It cost Adam two thousand dollars to repair the windows. His family had to rely on donations of food and clothing to make it through the Holiday season because they had already been stretched thin due to illness in the family.  It took a week to wash all of the egg of the store fronts. Not every one of those stores has extra people working who could do that.  Many of the store owners are not as young as they once were.  Time away to wash off egg and such is revenue lost. It is also just plain disrespectful.”

“Well, he wasn’t being disrespectful to you,” Carole said, removing her hand.

“Well actually,” Finn started…but Carole’s hand was back over his mouth.

“The shop was one of those businesses hit…it usually is.  Even the house has been a target before.  Would you like to clean up the next time Carole? I can make sure that happens.” Burt said.

“I am sure Finn had nothing to do with that…and if he was there…which I’m not saying he was…well it’s only because he was with friends and couldn’t really say no to them.” Carole said. “But…maybe next year he won’t go to a Halloween party like that.  I’ll encourage him to like…help Quinn again or go to the Berry’s Halloween bash or something.  Or he can stay home and hand out candy here. Unless Kurt does that.”

Burt made a humming noise and wrote down a few more things, then looked at Kurt. “If Finn stayed here then maybe we could have a booth of some sort at Meadows Elementary during their carnival and trunk-or-treat.  Ellen Faraday asked this last summer and I had meant to look into for this Halloween, but it wasn’t feasible.  We’d be checking and making sure Finn was here, of course. I am sure Carole doesn’t want him arrested, which is apt to happen if he goes out with his usual crowd, since I am turning those names into the cops, like it or not.”

“As long as I get to dress up.” Kurt said.

“Ok...write that down and we’ll see what happens come next October.” Burt said.

Carole was hissing in Finn’s ear as she held her hand over Finn’s mouth until he stopped trying to yell at Burt.  Burt and Kurt just looked at them.  Finally Finn stopped and Carole removed her hand.

Kurt nodded. “That brings us to everything Thanksgiving and Christmas.” Kurt said quietly.

Burt nodded.

[privateerings]

Hey! Last monday I hit the halfway mark to a year of running this blog! That went really fast. And I find that to be an accomplishment because I don’t always make it that far and it’s around 6 months that I have a tendency to lose interest. But hey, I’m not feeling that way at all!

So I think this calls for a tiny 6 month anniversary thing. I’m not going to do a “follow forever” post because I’m afraid I’ll accidentally leave someone out, and then it’ll be sad and awkward for them. Besides, mostly everyone is on that follow forever list already. What I will do is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while–which is an unofficial relationships page that updates monthly and anything else I think of later on, but anyway I just wanted to say thanks for supporting me during this (uh, very trying) active year. It means a lot to know that there are people who think my writing isn’t awful and that I have a decent portrayal, even if I have difficulty conceptualizing and accepting that. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next 6 months, I can only live in the now and enjoy writing Vace Asteris because he’s fun and always messing with my emotions asdfadsfjk

So yeah, yaaay! Also I’m throwing this silly thing in no particular order for people I’ve gotten to do some interacting with. I am not responsible for anything ya boi says, it’s his special week and therefore he is the supreme ruler of the cosmos and Always Correct but More Correct Than Usual. Precious boyo…

Two days ago it was “ listen here, cumslut” but now the mun wants to be nice when cake is involved.... sll right this is fine

(@hothrebels) Valeria Phiskar - “Ah… I don’t uh, know this person. I think there’s a typo on this pad. Do they mean Valeria Asteris? Ha, okay, that was a really lame joke. I never thought that I would end up having any kind of relationship with a woman I almost shot to death when I raided her ship. She might have shot me to death too, I don’t know, she also pointed her blaster at me. It was an exciting day, what can I say? I’m glad neither of us killed each other though, because it turns out we have some things in common, such as law breaking and an intense hatred for the Galactic Civil War. We’re like, the only people who know that nobody’s going to win this thing so we’re just stuck in the middle of it all. We have each other though and that’s what’s important. Val is deceptively strong and… she’s probably stronger than me. If anyone is going to make it out of this alive, I think it’s going to be her. I’m lucky to have her. I want to be more than enough for her, but instead of asking how to be, I end up just saying something that makes no sense, because I’m in love. Sorry. 

(@victory-class-captain) Elena Tarunt - “If I received news that the Justicia had blown up spontaneously I would probably feel only a little bad. Mostly for the Stormtroopers and anyone that had to work under Captain Tarunt’s supervision. They probably never experienced anything enjoyable prior to being killed off in a terrorist attack because the captain doesn’t like fun, happiness, or… anything that people consider to be pleasant. In a way I pity her for being like that. I kinda dig the “mature woman who takes her high position of power seriously” but the most one can do with that is look at her. And I’m pretty sure she will bite your head off just for looking in her direction, so… yeah, I’m good. Maybe one day she’ll find out where that stick has been in her ass all that time and pull it out.”

(@jundlcndwastes) Anna Hart - “Anna is like that friend you didn’t know you had and then when you realize you did, you’re really happy about it. Well... that's because basically we once a really long time ago on Tatooine and when I found her again it felt like I was seeing an old friend. We have a lot to catch up on. I'm not quite sure if she wants to share everything and honestly I don't really think I do either. I was a different person back then. I’m sure we’ve done some less than savory things just because that’s the nature of the job. Man, things were so much more simple back then. I was embarrassingly optimistic. I can only hope that we can still find some common ground, despite how much we’ve changed or it was all for nothing.”

(@notamailman) Gabriel - “G̛abr̀i͏e͏l͡,͝ ̸Ģabrie͏l,̴ Ga̴b͟ri̧el͜. The archangel of war. God's little boy scout. Beautiful soul. I think he's a good guy, really. Great drinking buddy who always knows what to say. He's also one of my favorite people to fuck with. I don't recommend anyone else doing that, though. I̧'m͢ ̸De͡a̕t̷h̡. ҉I͠ hąve ͜pŕìv̀il̛eg͢e͘s͘, b̕i͢tch͝. But really, I can’t say that there are too many people out there that put me at ease when I’m around them. I... I would say that I admire him but it’s not that, I just... let’s call it admiration and leave it at that, mkay? There are only a few things that I wouldn’t do for him. I wish I could do more to comfort his fears, but I’ve never been very good at that with anyone.”

(@arkhevia) Arkhevia “Kee” - “I don’t want anything to do with Kee but I keep crossing paths with the kriffin’ freak for one reason or another. We’d probably get along if her personality wasn’t so obnoxious and her voice wasn’t so grating on my ears. I mean, she’s a great fighter and isn’t afraid of anything. Perfect companion to get things done with, especially if they’re not so savory. But her head’s too far up her ass and there is nothing likable about her otherwise, and the worst part is she thinks she’s above me. Me. Standards? Looking and dressing like that? Really? Step the hell off.”

(@knxw-your-mxster) Kly’tem - “Okay, on one hand I feel a little bad that I’m so rude to her, but on the other hand, she’s weird. She stole from me and is basically extorting her way through space. I just... why is she like this? Why are people like her like this? I would ask, but she doesn’t exactly think much of me. The feeling’s mutual, I suppose.”

(@virtueundefined) Maura - “I would call them a partner in crime, but I don’t like to put labels on relationships. They’ve been a reliable person so far. Weird? Yes. Closed off? Yes. But compatible. Surprisingly. It’s not every day you run into a capable slicer who can also defend themself where necessary. Multi-talented people are my favorite kind of people. I don’t have time for duds--only winners! Take notes, guys.”

(lxst-wxnderer) Olivia - “Do I regret getting into a fight over Olivia? No. Now I get it, we all want some fuk tail and we have different ways of trying to achieve that. but in the Asteris House, you do not put your hands on a woman who wants to be left alone. Oh noooo. But anyway it turns out she might have some talents I could use too, so not only do I get gentleman points, but I also might get a valuable partner. A very pretty one, too. Don’t tell her I said that.”

(@masteroflightanddark) Revan - “A woman of surprising stature that doesn’t match her actual stature, if you know what I mean. She is an ancient god, one that will probably give me plenty of w҉͔o̷̖͙͎̰͉͎̹r͢k to do in the coming years. Where has she been all this time? Who knows. She’s not going anywhere, that’s for sure. It’s always nice to have someone who is old enough to understand you.”

(@gurlpilot) Sh’lari - “OH THANK THE STARS THIS BEAUTIFUL BLESSED LADY IS SAVING MY LIFE I OWE HER EVERYTHING. I’M SO HAPPY I COULD KISS HER. I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP MY LIPS, THOUGH, SO I WON’T.”

(@ofbirbsandbees) Lucia - “I don’t think I’ve met a person as nice as her. I don’t actually believe that there’s a sweeter person in the galaxy than Lucia--it’s just not possible. She might actually be some kind of alien and doesn’t know it. Kindness like hers just doesn’t exist out here anymore. I’m glad I decided to save her because it is totally worth it to me. Those cookies are to die for. And I’ve never met someone who loves life as much as she does. It makes me appreciate things I never thought I would. Also, she’s always down to fuck and I’m so into that.”

[lyinginthedark]

Must-Read Larry Fics

It’s come to my attention that certain people I know have not read some of these, so I am compiling a list of my Must-Read Larry Fics for your reading pleasure.

1. Relief Next To Me by Dolce_Piccante 

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

2. Young & Beauitful by Velvetoscar

Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn't stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

3. And Then A Bit by Infinitelymint 

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

4. Nothing Else But Us Right Here by Supernope

Louis sighs and gives himself a mental pep talk as he smooths his jumper down over his hips. He can do this. He can resist the draw of Harry Styles, because he is a responsible, mature adult, and as much as he wants to tangle his fingers in that mess of hair and map those ridiculous tattoos with his tongue, he does not want to get his daughter’s favorite teacher fired.

5. Wild and Unruly by 100percentsassy and Gloria_andrews

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

6. Led By Your Beating Heart by Missandrogyny 

Nick leans over. "Oh," he says, his voice smug. "Who is that?"

Harry just blinks at his phone. "Um," he manages to stammer out.

"Who's that, Harry?" Nick asks again, but this time he raises his eyebrows and smirks. Harry knows Nick is just teasing, and that he's not really looking for new Harry Styles gossip, but, um. He might have found something. Accidentally.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is another 'um'. He really needs to work on translating his thoughts into words. But then it probably wouldn't be any helpful right now, would it? His mind is as blank as a newly erased etch-a-sketch.

"Oh," Nick says again, this time gleefully, seemingly having picked up on Harry's distress. "Looks like we've got a story here! Are you going to call or delete her number?"

Her number. So Nick thinks it's a girl. Well, Harry can't blame him: 'Lou' is kind of an androgynous nickname. His stylist's name is Lou.

But this Lou, well, Louis, he's kind of, really, really not a girl. He's really pretty though, which, is something.

(Or: AU where Harry's in One Direction, Louis isn't, and they reconnect over a game of 'Call or Delete'.)

7. Have You Coming Back Again by Whoknows

It’s five o’clock in the morning. Louis has a lecture at half eight. He could be using this time to study or to do his readings or to go to the gym, but - well. He doesn’t have any exams coming up, he’s not going to his seminar today anyway and he hates the gym.

Instead he’s using this time to fuck with Harry Styles’ poor little brain.

Louis jogs across the street and jabs the key into the car door. It opens easily, not that he was expecting anything else. He copied the key for a reason, after all.

He’s got Harry’s schedule memorized, more because the guy keeps following him around than anything, so he doesn’t bother looking around before climbing behind the wheel and setting his bag on the passenger seat. It’s a Monday, which means that Harry doesn’t even get out of bed before noon unless he’s planning on harassing Louis.

8. Let Me Make A Thing Of Cream And Stars by Miss androgyny 

It doesn't explain why he's lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of him.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. Also the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Louis' wet dreams since he was about eighteen.

(Or: Louis is a Radio 1 DJ and Harry is a pop-star he interviews.)

9. Let’s Talk About Making Love by istajmaal 

That’s my name, baby, I’m Louis.” The voice on the phone inhales sharply, then says, “Gonna take my cock now, princess?”

Harry lets out a high-pitched mhmm and shudders as he pulls his fingers out of his hole, groping for the vibrator. “Nice to meet you,” he says, feeling a bit dizzy with how hard his untouched cock is.

Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he's Daddy.

10. Give Me Truths by Iwillpaingasongforlou

'Just like a little cat,' Louis thought later, as he drifted off to sleep. 'A little kitten with his claws sunk right into me.' It isn’t that terrible of a thought, after all. ............. Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together.

Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.

11. Put It All On Me by Loadedgun

"Yeah, yeah, give it to me, that's it, spread your legs a bit, there you go."

The camera follows Louis as he does. Maybe if the modelling thing doesn't work out, he could try the porn industry. Then again, he's a bit too stocky to be twinky and a bit too twinky to be anything else. He likes that about himself, though. Well, directors and photographers like that about him. He could pull off pretty and edgy, could do GQ in the morning and a perfume commercial in the afternoon. Right now he thinks he could pull off anything, because it's Harry fucking Styles directing him.

Or, a Top Model AU where Louis is accidentally there to make friends, not become Britain's Next Top Model. (Also Zayn is the supermodel host.)

12. Want You More Than A by Thecellardoor

Falling in love with your step-brother’s best friend is a disaster enough. When he happens to be the boy everyone loves and you’re a nerd who wears sweater vests and cries during rom-coms, it takes it to a whole new level.

13. Loving You Is Free by Littlelouishiccups

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn't been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

14. Always Come Back To You by Whoknows

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

15. Speaking Of Marvels by Navigator and Quitter

AU. Louis is a nanny in suburban New Jersey, and the neighbors' son is home from college for the summer. It was supposed to be a fling.

---

Okay, this is getting long af so I’ll leave it there BUT THERE ARE SO MANY MORE!!! READ READ READ!! I MEAN IT!

[survivortongatapu]

Episode 3 : Like He Lost Tag On The Playground | Andrew Gentile

So few subjects to choose from to entertain myself Too high to competently do this education stuff Too many grains of rice to eat I need a bagel with loxspread because I'm Jewish

The motivation to show that I'm manly, good at challenges and have lots of testosterone is not worth all this pain of clicking stupid numbers in the multiplication table. I keep telling myself I'm doing it for two charities: - The sanity of my tribe - The children

Literally 9x6=potato at this point

Lol being immune and lurking? I’m in Ecuador going to the Galapagos rn so outcast island is the best thing ever.

So I have no idea where I stand on my tribe at all! I'm initiating most of the conversations that I have which sucks! And I'm trying my best to form bonds but also not try too hard! 

 hope i can get enough to win this immunity to be honest i am glad i was not voted out 

We lost the challenge and I'm just woo! Jordan got a lucky pass and only got to submit 30 points had that been me I would have been voted out smh. Kaci got evacuated to Outcast island luckily so no drama tonight!

YES! we won rip kaci but woo us i hope we can keep winning

So IDK what the heck our vote was last round. I thought everyone was voting for Adrian but instead it was a huge mess. Basically I'm glad we won because otherwise I think we'd be in for another messy tribal council. 

his confessional will probably be a little less filled up than normal because: A. Free Rice took up all my time of socializing with people B. No tribal but on the other hand, i got the highest score in Free Rice which idk what to feel about it. It's good because I helped my tribe win, but bad because.. challenge threat label? But having a challenge threat label in Ausvivor when.. half the game is premerge won't affect me much. Only thing really going on is the Reward/Idol System... APPARENTLY Andrew found half of a Super Idol on the Purple Rock... and we need to find the Purple Rock. He said he told me, yes, ME! because he trusts me the most which is GREAT. Also though, I'm talking to Charlotte and she's done the EXACT SAME THING as Andrew on both times she's gone to the Idol System, first time, they both grabbed the torch in the cave, second time, Andrew got the Purple Rock like... 2 minutes before her which SUCKS for her. But I'm glad Charlotte is telling me about it too. I got a disadvantage for our tribe in the next challenge because I searched in the top hole of a tree, which Pocket told me to search in because he did the bottom and middle holes, but whatever! Antoine went into the bush on the clear path, and did the Yellow Rock. My goal right now is to figure out what most people on our tribe have done for the Idol System so I can have a greater knowledge of it and find out where idols are! Overgrown -> Keep Going = END Clear -> Top Hole = DISADVANTAGE Clear -> Middle Hole = END Clear -> Bottom Hole = END Clear -> Keep Walking -> Bush = END Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Yellow Rock = DISADVANTAGE Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Blue Rock = ? Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Purple Rock = HALF SUPER IDOL Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> None = ? Rocky -> Cave -> Grab Torch = END Here's my list of what I know so far, so I wanna know what happens on the Overgrown and Rocky sections now. Outcast Island is also having its first Tribal, and I'm assuming Conor or Kaci will go because they're more inactive. And besides that... nada! I have WAY better strategic relationships with people now because everyone talked game last round. I feel so much more aggressive and proactive in this game! It's really nice getting what I want. Like I've never done that in games before so being able to have more control over my fate is SOOOO nice and strategy is.. kinda, sorta fun! So I'm having a great time and playing the game, and I guess I can just hope I win.

We lose. Johnny no lifing does NOT prevail RIP Kaci. She would've been a good ally, but she's a fool and didn't tell RTP that she was excusing herself for the challenges, which is kinda playing survivor 101 if you know you're not going to be here, which is fucking tragic, but it's okay. Maybe her pretty face can make her way back into the game from outcast island. WE SHALL SEE

So things are goinf well...-ish. We might have lost the challenge but we don’t have to go to tribal thanks to Kaci’s absence. Thank god. I think if we went to tribal now it would all blow up, I still want time to soldify the bonds I’ve made, so no matter what i have options when things do inevitably change.

I really hope we'll win the challenge tonight. I'm worried I might have to fight for my spot if we lose! I hope those hidden rewards are worth it cause they are hard to find.

So Tim basically has attached himself to my hip as a dynamic duo in this game. Honestly, I am perfectly okay with that. I feel like Tim will be a particularly loyal ally to my cause, and he will definitely boost my reputation on this tribe. Still working on getting in with Stephen, but I feel like I have done that successfully. Johnny is another potential ally on this tribe and lord knows I need to start earning them.

bye trip and your idol hehehe

Y'ALL I'VE FINALLY DONE IT! AFTER TOO MANY GAMES TO NAME I HAVE FINALLY FOUND AN IDOL. And it's a ruby idol, so I can't wait to fuck shit up. I'm not telling anyone about it either cause I trust no one :)

Glad we won this challenge, but I am starting to get nervous. By this point I expected strategy to come into play a bit more, with people already starting to talk about who they want gone. But thats not happening. Tribal would, at least, reveal alliances and start the game going. That being said every round we win is a round I’m 100% safe, and a round I could find an advantage in reward.

I love that we won immunity! It's such a great feeling to not have to worry about going to tribal. Also, RIP Trip. It's sad that the person who sacrificed himself for us was voted out first. Though I do doubt if there was ever any hope for him seeing as he would have had zero connections. At the very least, Kaci is surviving which is good for me since she is someone I would like to work with. If Adrian comes back, though, I could very easily use him to take out his other tribemates like Jay. Hopefully, he is bitter enough to do that.

I CANT THIS TRIBE IS.... I wish i had a gif of this but just imagine the gif of Brenda Lowe saying "I don't even have to do anything and people align with me!" LIKE!!! IVE BEEN ADDED TO 2 ALLIANCES WHILE IVE BEEN AT SCHOOL ALL DAY. AND PEOPLE SAID TO WAIT FOR MY OPINION TO DECIDE WHO TO VOTE.. I LOVE HAVING CONTROL. I have.. POWER.. love it. Also Chrissa and Pocket are fighting because Antoine is in Pocket's pocket essentially, but Antoine doesn't really talk to anyone else, so Pocket wants Charlotte out, while Chrissa wants Antoine out. IDK Also now I'm in 3 alliances!!! Alliance #1 - Good Eggs - Andrew/Carson/Chrissa/Jay/Owen/Pocket Alliance #2 - hey youtube stu here - Andrew/Bryan/Carson/Jay/Owen/Willow Alliance #3 - The Watchdog League - Andrew/Antoine/Carson/Pocket/Willow this is fucking.. insane why are these people like this i feel like the only sane one. also, jay threw Pocket under the bus in Alliance #2 Pocket threw Jay under the bus in Alliance #3 so Willow/Charlotte/Chrissa/Jay/Antoine/Pocket are the names circulating andj ust... i dont even know. this tribes a mess

These people are the most wishy-washy people ever. First nobody want to say a  name and then, when I decide to throw a name out, nobody want to really commit to it. OMG, I don't know what to do with these guys. Like i'm suppose to be in an alliance of 5, who care who is voted out outside of it! To be honest, I wouldn't be surprise if my name come up tonight or if i'm going home. It's either me or Jay to be honest or I'll be surprised.

Nothing going on

Oh boy, immunity aint that swell. reward was lame, i injured myself but didnt even die like come on ryan. anyways ya, its chill #LongLiveJordanPines

So apparently Pocket is throwing out my name. It’s too early to try to take him down but I won’t forget it.

I hope the vote goes smooth i just want us to be on the same page and so i just hope however the vote goes we still are on the same page 

Ok so. Jay made an alliance of me, him, Carson, willow, owen, Charlotte, and drew. So I’m cool with that for now. Also. I thought willow was gonna be the target before hand. But it turns out pocket was targeting Charlotte and Chrissa was targeting Antoine and they had a little kerfuffle about it. I don’t like that pocket was targeting Charlotte. So I suggest to this alliance we vote him out. But like. This vote is probably gonna be all over the place tbh. Smh. 

Im more than happy to not have tribal but my forest searches are going horribly! Ive gotten closer to Raffy and even proposed a final 2 with him. ALSO Stephen found half of the supeidol and decided to tell me about it I'm estatic! I smell a swap coming though so.... Honestly thats good for my game because that means that I won't be voted out from my original tribe who I think have an alliance already made :/ (without me in it of course). I still want to work with Johnny and Raffy and Stephen and maybe even L.A but for now jm leaving all of my options open!

So I found something in the reward, half a super idol!!!! eek. but now i have to keep looking for the other half, although chances are someones found it. But it’d be a bad idea to broadcast in the hopes that someone will come forward with the other half. I have told Tim, my ally, so that if he hears anything he will tell me. I hope that isn’t a mistake, but I trust him. Idk if I’ll tell Johnny, or Jordan, the ither two I’d consider aligning with, I don’t 100% trust them yet.

Its time to find part 2 of the SuperIdol, let the hunt begin.

Ok despite this round being twice as long, even less happened. Kaci was medevaced, which sucks because I really wanted to work with her. At least I know I'll have an ally at outcast island if i get voted out. I've got johnny on my side still, as well as jordan, rob, and probably stephen. I had a convo with tim today, and I also want to work with him. I'm just wary of how many people i give my loyalty to because I'm sure andrew is also going to have his own allies. But honestly? why am i even thinking about this game. Why do i have to constantly remind myself that I also have an opportunity to win. Anyways! I think i'm in a good spot on this tribe. I wouldnt mind a swap tho, lets shake it up!

this game makes me wanna eat my own ass bc pocket and chrissa fought and the vote switched from pocket to chrissa to charlotte to antoine back to chrissa back to antoine maybe idk I'm literally gay and i wanna die and I'm like in 18 alliance chats and I'm on call with jay carson and willow trying to figure this out someone pls fuckin help

i somehow flipped this vote to Antoine?? like i said earlier i wanted antoine out and this is somehow working... i love big movez!!!!! im shaking. this is for you pocket!! also apparently charlotte likes antoine more than chrissa.. we're working this. i really do feel like brenda lowe rn with everyone coming to me and me just telling people things! like i dont think imma get the blame for this vote from ANYONE because andrew/jay/willow were doing the heavywork while i suggested it. whew. hope antoine goes because he sorta petered out after night 1.

heres a short synopsis of the vote and what happened: 1. i got added to 3 alliances and every single one wanted different things, with pocket, jay, antoine, charlotte, and chrissa being targeted. 2. i went on call with bryan/jay and they tried getting me to vote pocket, i like pocket, so i was like EHHHH maybe iDK! i like majority :3 could we do antoine? 3. talked to andrew during that call who wanted chrissa out hard, said "CAN WE CUT ANTOINE PLEASE.." 4. went on call with andrew/jay, said we could do antoine, not too bad to flip it. they agreed, added willow, told everyone while i ate food. 5. :) woo lets see if this works

ugh its gonna be ant tonight which is kinda sad bc hes really nice f;alksdjf this is too messy honestly 

I would vote out Pocket rn because he's asking to if it weren't for the fact that we all just went to the trouble to save him, and now he's gonna be a piss baby that things aren't going his way. Sorry I don't respect that and now I don't respect him as a player so he can go back to Party City (Zwooper) where he belongs.

This round has been a massive mess. So to start, I wanted to vote out Antoine, but Chrissa and Pocket had a fight about whether it's Antoine or Charlotte. I talked to Andrew and we decided to cut ties with Chrissa and Pocket and start a new alliance with Bryan and Willow replacing them. Well what do you know! A new conflict broke out on whether to vote Chrissa or Pocket! It really looked like Chrissa was leaving until Owen messaged me saying that he's voting Pocket no matter what. So naturally I call my closest ally, Carson, and we get to talking and we decide we want Chrissa to stay. But we didn't want to alienate Andrew, so after the vote was set on Pocket, we talked to Andrew about the vote since he didn't want Pocket out. We ended up deciding on voting Antoine because if he leaves, and Pocket continues to trust Andrew, we have a solid five (Me, Andrew, Carson, Willow, and Pocket) and I trust Bryan to vote with us too. 

And as we speak, Pocket is having a meltdown and asking to leave and I'm sorry I didn't go through so much effort to get this vote the way it's supposed to be JUST TO CHANGE IT AGAIN! Sorry buddy, I need numbers, and you're one of those numbers. :)

[senfinity]

Dear Cosette, aka my mother-in-law, mother, and wife, but most importantly one of my best friends (and I guess ‘my little star’ but we never speak of those nicknames alksjdf)

NOTES (1) First and foremost, YES there are going to be periods, and you are going to deal with it because there is no possible way I can go that long without using them >:[ (2) You, especially of all people, know how incredibly awkward I am with emotions and expressing myself, so I hope you will forgive exactly how awkward I sound :( You also know that I am “annoyingly grammatically correct” and can’t help but to sound formal when left to my own devices (SEE) and might sound fake because I tend to always sound fake when I get all deep and proper EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT but you’re not used to me like that so... But despite that just know that everything I say is 100% sincere :((( (3) Don’t make fun of me or I’m gonna fight you.

Unlike you, I don’t talk as I think and I spend an inordinate amount of time picking and choosing the words I say carefully, and you also know my immense love for lists and order, so I feel like the logical place to start is how we first met because honestly when we look at how we started and how we are now and the fact that this isn’t even the end, it’s quite a beautiful love story don’t you think lmao. Every time I think about how we first met and all the circumstances that surrounded it, it always amazes me just how fake... we were alsjdf. It started off with that random Secret Valentine’s anon thing, that not only was your last time doing anything like that, but mine, too. To top it off, you were so bad at replying on time, and I was literally so fake when replying to you and when I look back on it I could tell that you could only talk about Baek, but I could really only talk about Sehun and we were both just overall more-or-less disinterested in the other. But then when you revealed who you were, I thought I should follow you out of courtesy, but then you thought that I was being a fake hoe and following you to get a mutual but followed me back anyways AND IT’S JUST SO FUNNY? That was literally the worst, most shallow, fake, misunderstood-on-both-ends start to a friendship ever; I really don’t think anyone, especially not us two, would’ve thought we would get this far. And it’s just amazing to think that that tiny little coincidence and thing that we did without absolutely any real thought or desire to achieve anything lead us to both be part of a friendship that would mean so much to the both of us. I’m not really sure why it happened and what weird grand power led us to that state, but I sure as heck am glad that it did. I’ll just pretend it was the stars since you love astrology so much lmao.

And I remember when you left Tumblr and I dramatically and immensely starry-eyed..ly sent you that message on kkt, I really didn’t expect much of a reply BUT YOU SENT THIS PRETTY MASSIVE REPLY (well, massive compared to mine at least) that went a lot more into detail than I expected you to reply with, and I remember thinking, “... Why is she telling me so much lksjdf I didn’t ask for this,” even though now I know that you tend to ramble a lot when you’re not close with someone (which is literally the exact opposite of what I do) but that was the start to our string of (unfortunately) essay-long messages that we secretly hated doing. Honestly, considering how little energy I have in general - much to your surprise because you mistakenly thought that I was bubbly and happy and energetic - and your actual lack of desire to be social with that many people from Tumblr, we spent so much time writing those messages, so maybe that was the universe’s little way of nudging us towards each other. And when you think about it, I feel like that is a weird parallel to our friendship now, because for as different and opposite as we are, we put so much effort into each other no matter what, so maybe those messages were a tiny little hint of what was to come.

And it’s honestly just really nice to look at how our friendship has evolved over the last little-over-a-year - and also kind of funny because at each ‘era’ of our friendship, we always think, “Man, we’re so close right now, look at us,” and we act like we weren’t going to go any farther, but time and time again we keep getting closer, and even in the last 4 months between when you wrote your birthday message to me and now, so much has changed, so I can only imagine what more is to come for us in the future. I distinctly remember in the first 3? months of us being friends, we were discussing the ‘levels’ to our friendships, and I think your highest level was ?? 5 or something like that, and I remember thinking, “I’ll probably never get that far - I’m not really the type of person Cosette would like that much probably, so I won’t hope for much,” (which I later found to be not completely true once you finally nudged me to open a bit up to you so that I wouldn’t be paranoid for 500 years that you secretly hate me) but I somehow managed to get here, and idk it just makes me oddly happy and idek how to explain the feeling but before it sounds like I’m accepting some grand award I will just stop there alksjdf.

To continue on with that note (gdi I sound so systematic, I hate myself laksjdf) we are so immensely opposite from each other and yet at the same time we’re just like two peas in a pod, it’s kind of funny. You’re extroverted, love to express your emotions to the ones you love with words, are incredibly caring and comforting, filled with energy and life (but secretly dead inside), have an immense passion and drive, are actually good at carrying convo, >:[[[ funny, have bad memory, can’t spell, old, small brain big heart, always in el bano. And then there’s me - introverted, emotionally constipated in almost every single way, awkward at probably everything tbh, no motivation and zero life, literally has nothing else on her mind other than Sehun and animals occasionally, can’t crack a joke to save my life, great memory, pretentious but amazing at spelling and grammar, young, semi-big brain small heart, never goes to el bano. We deal with our problems differently, the way we talk to each other is completely different, we can’t even talk with that much depth about each others’ biases because when it comes to anyone other than our own we have the emotional range of a teaspoon, you never listen to me when I tell you something >:[, I can’t give you proper emotional support because I am just awful, and just ? so ? many ? things ? that are so opposite to each other? I think the only thing we have in common is that we’re both equally bitter about almost everything lmao (and also emo half the time).

Yet despite all that we always make the time to talk to each other any time we can - honestly if it was possible we’d probably be talking every waking minute - and even though we talk about honestly the exact same stuff all the time, we just love to be in each other’s company no matter what. And to be perfectly honest, I associate my time with you with comfort, warmth, happiness, laughter, and in a weird way home, because that’s honestly exactly what you give to me. Whenever we’re talking, be it about us yelling about sebaek to each other without the other one hearing a thing, or about something we’re immensely bitter about, or just some mundane thing we did during our day, I always feel happy and comfortable, and I don’t even know why but I catch myself smiling (and begrudgingly laughing at your lame-ass jokes :/ that aren’t funny btw) because Cosette = laughter and that’s just how it is >:[ Gotta add the >:[ to soften the cheese >:[ Whenever we’re not talking to each other it feels like something is wrong with my day and like eternity has passed even though it’s honestly probably just been 2 hours lmao. With you time simultaneously slows down and speeds up (//insert you singing Transformer//) and I just don’t know how to explain it? We’ve been friends for a year but it doesn’t even feel that long; when we talk to each other for just an hour for some reason it feels like 5 have passed (in the best way possible) and I really don’t understand how that works, but I guess it just shows that I just really enjoy every moment I spend with you (>:[) and I wouldn’t trade any single moment for anything. Not to mention that when I don’t talk to you, I tend to feel weirdly empty, and those are the times where my odd and sad moods creep back in, and whenever that happens, I always think, “Man, this is why I need Cosette,” because you really just make me forget about all the sadness that’s locked away and I think it takes someone really special to do that, considering I am the most pessimistic fellow around (yes, I stole your word). And it’s cute because we talk so much that we adopt words, phrases, and emoticons that the other use, we adopt each other’s bitterness and general feelings just automatically, and if you’re mad then I’m (ง'̀-'́)ง along with you and vice versa, and it’s honestly such a cute dynamic, I really ship us :( I bet my, and your, nonexistent asses that if we were idols we’d be the best ship, no questions asked.

But of course between the ups in our friendship, there’s plenty of downs, which is inevitable because of how different we are from each other, but I love that no matter what we always come right back out of it and come out even stronger, and I think that that is one of the best part of our friendship? We might be immensely awkward at bringing it up first (though I fail at it 100% of the time so bless your awkward yet brave soul), but we always manage to talk about it and it starts off a little odd but we always make it work. And I think what I love most about you, among the 500 other things that I love the most about you, is that you’re always so considerate and understanding, and are always willing to listen. It’s one of the things that I really love about our friendship because you know me and how I cannot stand for the life of me inconsiderate people who never listen to a thing you have to say and let misunderstandings and ill feelings brew to the point where neither of us care anymore, but we never let that happen, and I just really appreciate that. I know I am impossible to access emotionally, both for my own emotions and to reassure yours, and that I can be a bit careless and thoughtless at times (unintentionally of course), and that I probably do a lot of things that rub you the wrong way because I am wired in a completely different way than you are - but you’ve never once blamed anything on me or wished for me to change, you’ve allowed me to explain myself both in regards to you and in regards to my inner thoughts, and you’ve always reassured me that you still care for me. And that really makes me feel so much more comfortable to slowly show you my emotions - which is near impossible for anyone to do - and I think that says a lot about how much you mean to me and how much I love our friendship. The complete understanding and consideration you have for me is one of the things the cherish the most, and I hope that I’ve been able to do the same for you, because for as cold and awkward as I am and seemingly careless as I may seem, I would never want you for one second to doubt just how important you really are to me and just how much this friendship means to me.

I’m sorry that I can’t always express myself and give you that reassurance when you oh-so-obviously hint at me that you need it, or if I come off disinterested at times, but I hope you know that I am 100% of the time always soft when it comes to you, and I probably think you’re adorable like all the time (what with all your random inst inst insts and outbursts of astrology facts - which I honestly quite enjoy - and little comments you make here and there that are probably nondescript for you but make me smile and get an intense feeling of fondness and all you random little quirks that I could go on and on about) but shh you didn’t hear it from me, and I admire just how strong you really are (war flashbacks to me saying that in my first birthday letter to you alksjdf but I wasn’t lying back then and I’m not lying now either >:[) and the passion you have for what you love (even though you don’t always believe that you really are one strong cookie), and though I don’t strive to be just like you because we already know my little mentality on this, it always makes me proud to think of all that you went through and are still going through but that you still manage to stay on top (I know you think I’m lying but I’m not >:[). I’ve seen you go through incredibly down moods, and I know that I don’t even see the half of it, and it always made me so sad to see someone with so much love and care and passion to feel like they weren’t worth it or that they didn’t have anything going for them, when it’s so much the opposite. But hearing you talk about all the goals you’ve set out for yourself this year and how you’ve gotten this newfound motivation and hope for what is to come, and have been filled with so much more excitement and happiness and a desire to live, makes me so incredibly happy because you deserve to feel that important and deserving every single day. I hope that for all the days you went through those immense lows, that you experience highs 100-fold because you deserve not even 0.000001% less.

Finally, I just want to end this by saying that I really do wub... l*ve... love... wub you (AHHH) and even though that took me the most amount of effort, the fact that you always say it to me and treat me with so much love and kindness masked behind the constant teasing - which I admittedly am endeared by :/ - the least I can do is tough it out and finally say the words that express what I feel. The more I mean those words, the longer it takes for me to say them out loud (or well I guess in print) and just know that that took me like 10 minutes to type out ajsdf. This letter honestly wasn’t as long as I would have hoped it would be, because I know that I have a million things I want to say, but my emotions are scaredy-cats at times and like to play hide and seek on me, and so I just know I’ve missed out on so many things. But I hope that despite that you know that you mean the world to me; I don’t have many close friends and I have even less favourite people, but I’m proud to say that I consider you both. And so on that note

Happy Birthday, my little star

Sincerely,      (your) little moon

[douchebagbrainwaves]

SO MAKE A LIST AND TRY TO BUY SOME

If we had a national holiday, it would be April 1st. Technology is a lever. The mediocre ones might as well be flipping coins. He was gone. When you make something dramatically cheaper you have to be derived from working in that field. Data. I can think of names. Don't you learn things at the best schools that you wouldn't learn at lesser places? But it's a mistake founders constantly make. So who are the great hackers I know, no one knows, including him. If everyone else is reading the latest John Grisham novel, there will always be a gradual process—partly because great things are usually also novel, but mainly because users have other things to think about this. One is that a lot of people, but because it gives you another source of ideas: look at big companies, think what they should be doing, and do it yourself.

Whereas there appears to be 1968, when Nixon beat the more charismatic Hubert Humphrey. Maybe it's not a coincidence. And I think this is a coincidence. How much of the goodwill Apple once had with programmers have they lost over the App Store feels old and crappy. If you're a nerd, you can tell investor A that this is happening. Success is decided by the one factor they can't control: charisma. If there is a freshness not to say naivete about them that suggests some of the most surprising things we've learned is how little effect they have. They won't be offended. The author of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Because they practically all seemed lame at first. They didn't sell either; that's why they're in a position of power.

This caught my attention because earlier we'd noticed a pattern in the least successful startups we'd funded: they all seemed hard to talk to corp dev unless a you want to hear; an interview with a random alum; a high school record that's largely an index of obedience. When an investor maltreats a founder now, it gets out. But the most immediate evidence I had that something was missing. The software business learned that in the coming century, good ideas will count for more. Business types prefer the most popular. I decided I was going to have a habit of questioning assumptions. There are two possible outcomes for a startup: success or failure—and usually you know within a year which it will be at the end of that. I'm pretty sure now that my friend Trevor Blackwell is a great hacker.

Crooks just use whatever means are available. Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry were so similar in that respect that they might have been. As the roast turkey appeared on the table, his alarmingly perceptive 5 year old son suddenly asked if the turkey had wanted to die. It's unlikely you could make something better designed. I'd just left. Even a lot of people, but in retrospect that too was the optimal path to dominating a big market. In 2000 we practically got a controlled experiment to prove it: just try to sell one. Google didn't think search was boring, and that's why so many startups grow out of personal projects.

I was running YC and did more office hours with startups, I would often help them find new names. Partly because you can usually start by recruiting users manually and give them an overwhelmingly good experience—and the main benefit of treating startups as vectors will be to remind founders they need to fix it. They want to believe they're living in a comfortable, safe world as much as any startup needs initially. I release to beta users. Business types prefer the most popular languages because they view languages as standards. After a year you'll have to make money is to make a startup recession-proof is to do what hackers enjoy doing anyway. There started to be a situation with a large percentage of school.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Fred Wilson, Jessica Livingston, many others, and Geoff Ralston for putting up with me.

[flauntpage]

Firsts! But still last… Five Takeaways from Islanders 4, Flyers 3

On this day of giving thanks for the family and friends you have there is also a lot of eating. You go for seconds and thirds, and in my house – where the eating begins at noon and doesn’t stop until about 11 p.m. – there are fourths and fifths.

Which reminds me – my family should have patented the “Thanksgiving sandwich” idea years ago. You can now get “the Pilgrim” or “the Gobbler” or whatever fancy name they call it in many places, but for 40 years the SanFilippo clan has been slathering turkey, cranberry sauce and stuffing with a little mayo on a sandwich as a late evening snack on Thanksgiving. Before there was a third NFL game on Thanksgiving, there was always a college game, so, at halftime, we’d all venture from the living room to the kitchen and get our sandwich. I’m sure I’ll do it tonight too. Sigh.

Anyway…

My whole lame attempt to the lead-in to this Flyers story was that our local hockey team kicked off the Thanksgiving celebration with a series of firsts, before we get our seconds and thirds today.

(rimshot)

Okay, I know. Don’t quit the day job.

But it’s true. Between debuts and goals and losing streaks and Eastern Conference opponents and Metropolitan Division opponents there were a lot of things that happened for the first time last night, or the first time in a while.

But one thing happened that’s been happening frequently lately – the Flyers still lost.

Oh this one was in overtime, so they got a point (celebrate!) but it was their sixth consecutive loss, and if you really want to look how bad it’s gotten, it’s their 12th loss in their last 16 games (4-7-5). Yeah, getting five points in overtime or shootout doesn’t make it seem as bad – but it is. They’ve only won consecutive games once all season.

So, when you tell everyone what you’re thankful for today, it’s a pretty safe assumption one item on the list is not going to be your favorite hockey team.

They did play their first game against an Eastern Conference Team since Oct. 21 and their first Metropolitan foe since the home opener, but it didn’t change things, and the Flyers are still a last place team in what is starting to feel like a lost season.

But, as is always the case, there are things to take away from this game – and here they are:

1. The best fourth line in hockey that isn’t even a line any more

I’m sorry, I can’t let that moniker go ever since it was bestowed upon Taylor Leier, Scott Laughton and Michael Raffl by a scout talking to SportsNet.ca’s Elliotte Friedman last month.

I get the sentiment – because the three of them are incredibly hard-working, never take a shift off, provide great energy and are reliable every time on the ice.

But lets not blow their impact out of proportion. You have to score goals in hockey and the trio, entering last night, had a combined two goals – both scored by Laughton.

In recent games, Raffl had been moved off the line onto a third line and Leier and Laughton had been stuck with Jori Lehtera. And just because the line was alliterative didn’t mean they were getting a nickname – because with Lehtera in the mix, it was sure to be an undesirable handle.

But, last night, Leier and Laughton were joined by a struggling Jordan Weal as Lehtera was benched in favor of Danick Martel, who was called up from the Phantoms to make his NHL debut (more on him in a bit).

The change in the lineup may be temporary, or it may be permanent after last night – who knows –  but they finally had a scoring bite in a game – doubling their season output in goals last night to four.

First it was Leier, getting his first goal in 25 games, dating back to last season:

Taylor Leier with a greasy goal off a great play by Travis Sanheim! http://pic.twitter.com/A3kJwmj0TZ

— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) November 23, 2017

By the way… we’re starting to see a little more of this out of Sanheim with each game. He’s starting to get more confident in his ability to drive the play offensively.

But this isn’t about him! This is about Leier, who finally got into the scoring column after so many great chances this season.

I won’t say he’s snakebitten – although there were a few unfortunate outcomes on chances he had. No, Leier, like any other player who gets a decent amount of ice time needs to find a way to score more than once every 25 games.

But he’s been a guy I’ve enjoyed watching play the game the right way on a night-in, night-out basis. He’s definitely a cerebral hockey fan’s type of player. He doesn’t show up on the score sheet all that often, but he does little things that aren’t measured statistically so well, that you want to see him on the ice even more.

The other goal broke an even longer drought:

Couturier sends Raffl on a breakaway, and he scores his first of the season! http://pic.twitter.com/jmbKM8I1av

— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) November 23, 2017

It was Raffl’s first goal in 43 games. He hasn’t even had an assist in that amount of time either. And yet, like Leier, he’s a guy you don’t mind seeing out on the ice because he’s positionally sound.

Again, does he need to score more? Yes. Absolutely. to have just one point through 22 games isn’t acceptable.

But that’s likely the only check mark on the negative side of Raffl’s ledger.

He does a lot of other things well and he’s a responsible player. Not to mention, he’s one of the most well-liked guys on the team:

It's adorable how happy the whole Flyers team is for Michael Raffl's first goal of the season. http://pic.twitter.com/4YVgIfBRsP

— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) November 23, 2017

And they truly are ecstatic for the guy. It’s not the most important thing in sports, but locker room chemistry is more paramount in hockey than any other sport and Raffl is a glue guy in the Flyers’ room.

My favorite part of the Raffl goal though occurred on radio.

I was in the car during intermission and because of holiday traffic, I had to take in the first five minutes of the second period on the radio.

Just before the second period started, Steve Coates predicted that with the way Raffl played in the first period that he would score a goal in the game.

Well, 42 seconds later, Raffl’s goal happened.

After Tim Saunders finished his goal call, Coatesy, in all his broadcasting glory, yelled, “I’m going to the track!”

It was pretty comical that it happened so soon after Coatesy’s clairvoyant prediction.

But Coatesy did take it too far.

“Once he gets one, they’ll start coming in bunches,” he said.

Not sure he wants to take that one to the track – or the bank.

2. Danick Martel and Sam Morin

Continuing the concept of firsts – these two guys played their first game of the season for the Flyers and for Martel it was his first game in the NHL.

Fans have been clamoring for Morin for a long time now – and it’s likely he would have been up sooner had he not had a groin injury – but the 22-year-old is still a work in progress.

I mean, you have to love this:

Sam Morin with a big hit on Jordan Eberle along the boards. http://pic.twitter.com/aeYp6GBezK

— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) November 23, 2017

and here’s another angle:

Sam Morin flies in and takes down Eberle. http://pic.twitter.com/Zv01PXhA4a

— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) November 23, 2017

That’s what he brings. He also mixed it up with veteran Andrew Ladd in this game, and the two had to be separated before the fists flew (lucky for Ladd). And he did a nice job clearing the front of the net when he was on the ice.

But Morin took two penalties – and one led to a power play goal for the Islanders – so there’s going to be some taking the good with the bad with Morin for a bit.

But Flyers fans should be happy – as Morin, Sanheim, Gostisbehere, Provorov and Hagg were all in the lineup on defense for the first time last night. It’s the future of the blue line. It’s going to be a while before it matures as a group – but it’s an exciting glimpse into the future.

As for Martel, he’s come out of nowhere.

Well, not completely out of nowhere. I did suggest after this game a month ago to give the kid a chance.

(Not sure why you’d read anyone else!)

But, Martel wasn’t even on the radar as a top Flyers prospect. And why should he have been? He was signed as an undrafted free agent a few years back and has toiled mostly in obscurity in the AHL since.

Yeah, he scores at that level, but the fact is he’s small. I mean, really small. He’s listed at 5-9, but that’s if he’s on skates. He’s listed at 170 pounds – but that’s with soaking wet clothes on.

Yeah, he’s diminutive.

But, there have been small players who made a pretty good living in this sport – just look at Danny Briere’s career.

Martel has that Briere-like scoring ability. And he can skate – boy can he skate. Check out this breakaway chance from last night for evidence:

Martel pokes the puck away for a partial breakaway. He's so fast and had everything but the finish there. http://pic.twitter.com/tcimKRaBGd

— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) November 23, 2017

He ended up with six shot attempts, three on goal, and blocked four shots in 12:07 of ice time. His four blocks led the team.

Martel played predominantly on the second line as a left wing to Nolan Patrick and Wayne Simmonds.

He was given the chance by the Flyers instead of Mike Vecchionne for two reasons:

the Flyers needed help on the wing more than down the middle.

the Flyers needed goal scoring help.

Martel was leading the AHL in goals at the time of his call-up.

All said, it was an excellent first game for Martel – one that probably will keep him in the mix here with the big club for awhile anyway.

3. So if Martel sticks, what happens elsewhere to the roster?

O.K. so, this isn’t a takeaway from the game, but it’s an intriguing question nonetheless.

The simple thought is the Flyers waive either Dale Weise or Jori Lehtera, both of whom are dead weight on this roster – and neither will be claimed, meaning they could send one down to the Phantoms.

But here’s an interesting thought – what if they play Lehtera or Weise for a few games and scratch Jordan Weal?

I doubt they would place Weal on waivers. They already took that gamble once last season and were fortunate he wasn’t claimed. But I’m told they are worried Weal isn’t right, right now. Maybe it’s the two concussions he’s suffered this year. Maybe he’s just struggling to gain his footing in this lineup as it’s currently situated, but Weal was expected to be more productive a player, and right now, he’s not.

His ice time has been dipping further and further with each passing game and last night he played a season-low eight minutes.

From the folks I’ve spoken to around the team, it just seems like right now he’s the 12th forward, and he’s barely clinging to that spot.

Weal needs to find his game again, and sometimes sitting out 2-3 games helps a player do that.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on the scratch list sooner rather than later.

4. The penalty kill sucks.

I can’t put it more bluntly than that. Right now, the penalty kill is as bad as I’ve ever seen a penalty kill be in Philadelphia.

Yes, they aren’t worst in the league, but they are 28th out of 31 teams and giving up a power play goal 25% of the time.

That’s dreadful.

Compounding that number, the Flyers have allowed eight power play goals against in the last four games and have been beaten on seven of the past 12 shorthanded opportunities.

What’s going on here?

Well, for one, the Flyers miss a couple of oft-maligned defensemen – Andrew MacDonald and Radko Gudas.

For as much as fans despise their games, this is definitely one area of strength for both. It’s also why the Flyers have brought Morin into the mix – hoping to stabilize this.

MacDonald should be back soon and Gudas has to miss seven more games. It should be interesting to see which way the Flyers ultimately go with their young defensemen once those things happen – because a log jam is coming assuming no one else gets injured.

But the forwards haven’t been great either. I’m not sure why they are making Wayne Simmonds kill penalties. He’s never been a staunch penalty killer, and now he’s out there with Sean Couturier and he’s having a hard enough time skating as it is with his groin issues. That one’s befuddling me.

All told, the Flyers might need a new approach here – because obviously, whatever they’ve been doing to this point isn’t working. At all.

5. Ghost continues to struggle

Dave Hakstol should just put Shayne Gostisbehere back with Robert Hagg and let the other defensemen figure it out.

Ever since MacDonald’s injury, when Ghost and Hagg were separated, Ghost has been a different player. He’s made mistakes – too many of them. He lacks confidence. He turns the puck over.

Before the MacDonald injury, Ghost was playing his best hockey – maybe ever. He looked great. He told me playing with Hagg helped him significantly.

But ever since, well, we have plays like this:

Folks, this wasn't good. It was in fact very bad. http://pic.twitter.com/zEndHzAQNt

— Broad Street Hockey (@BroadStHockey) November 23, 2017

In the ridiculous 3-on-3 overtime, it’s a game of man-to-man defense. And while Couturier busted his rear end to cover John Tavares, Ghost decided he wasn’t going to play man-to-man at all, and, well, Josh Bailey won the game for the Islanders.

That cannot happen.

You aren’t going to pull Ghost from the lineup, but the least the coach can do is get him back playing with a partner who makes him play with the confidence needed.

They should never have been separated. They need to be reunited. Tomorrow.

  Firsts! But still last… Five Takeaways from Islanders 4, Flyers 3 published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv