#anyway. the tragedy THE ANGST of falling in love with the person you're trying to bring yourself to hate

[adhd-merlin]

Rarepair fave is def Merdred, those mfs had Vibes™ that were just.... Something else. Like, they needed to be locked in a room so they could either talk it out, fight it out, or fuck it out. Something. Anything. Because I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot! Another sorcerer that's actually on his side, actively helping him! Tbh, I think he liked him in canon, even though he didn't want to, which just adds to the Angst of them.

Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.

And for a fic rec: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25627360 (it is smut, but there are also feels, and it's Mordred POV)

FINALLY! THANK YOU!

I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot!

He did like him! He said it himself!

GAIUS: If Mordred wished Arthur ill, he has had ample opportunity to do so. He's a likeable boy, Merlin. MERLIN: I know. I like him myself, but I can't ignore what I saw. — From The Disir, Ep 5x05

That's what makes it tragic, they could get on, they could be friends, they actually have much in common — but Merlin can't afford to get close to Mordred because of what he knows/thinks Mordred's going to do.

Here's my thoughts about this ship:

Arguments in favour:

• ENEMIES TO LOVERS

• the delicate balance of power: Alex and Colin go on quite a bit about Mordred and Merlin's relationship in the commentary to ep 5x02. Mordred technically outranks Merlin, given he's a knight and Merlin is just a servant, but also Merlin is Emrys and, as a Druid, Mordred is aware (and likely in awe) of his role and power. And they are both the unwilling keeper of the other's secret, as they both have to hide their magic in Camelot. It makes for an interesting dynamic.

• Like I said, it's tragic that Merlin had to keep Mordred at arm's length (emotionally) because they had some common ground: they both loved Arthur — I mean they both cared about him, and they both had faith in him. Mordred believed that Arthur would bring about a golden age just as much as Merlin did! They both yearned for peace, and they both had to stain their hands with blood to survive. They both had to go through so much trauma.

KARA: You're a knight. MORDRED: That doesn't matter. KARA: Of Camelot. Why, Mordred? MORDRED: Arthur is a good man. KARA: I can't believe you'd say that. MORDRED: You don't know him. — From The Drawing of the Dark, Ep 5x11

• As with Sefa, I think Merlin could benefit from having a Druid partner.

• Merlin glaring at Mordred is pretty hot. He also gets slammed into a wall by him which, again. Pretty hot.

• They could literally mind-fuck each oth— [gunshot sound]

Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.

Both great scenes! I love all the scenes they have together, I think. The way Mordred always looks and sounds vaguely menacing without doing or saying anything outright evil. They way he is desperate for Merlin's approval :(

My favourite Merlin & Mordred scene has to be the one from episode 5x05 (The Disir).

MERLIN: It won't always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again. MORDRED: You really believe that? MERLIN: I do. Beat. They both look down at the grave. MORDRED: Until then, we go unmarked in death as in life. — From The Disir, Ep 5x05

It's a rare moment of bonding between them. Mordred appeals to their shared nature ("he was one of us") and, for once, Merlin puts down his defences. He offers Mordred a few words of comfort ("It won't always be like this"). And then Mordred hits him with that fucking PROFOUND line and Merlin doesn't know what to do with it.

This is not the horrible future-murderer he's made Mordred up to be in his head. This is a boy with hope in his eyes and kindness in his heart (still). It speaks so much of what they could have been if destiny hadn't got in the way. (I've also gone on about Merlin's complicated relationship with other magic folks in another post. Yes, I have many feelings about it).

I love that scene from ep 5x11, too, ("Everything I do, you think the worst") — probably my second favourite scene with these two.

It starts out with Merlin being so confrontational and aggressive, but it ends with Merlin deciding to trust Mordred, for once. Perhaps reluctantly, but he does.

It's tragic that he seems to open up to Mordred when it's too late. I've touched on before on why I think it is that it happens at this moment. Merlin has literally been in Mordred's position. In fact, some of the dialogue in this scene echoes Merlin and Gaius's confrontation in ep 2x09, when Merlin was ready to run away with Freya.

If that wasn't clear enough, we also have Mordred asking Merlin directly:

Tell me you wouldn't do the same for the woman you love.

But of course Merlin would. He has. Well, he's tried to.

But again, because of what he knows about Mordred, Merlin can't let Mordred escape, even though he gets what he's trying to do, and doesn't blame him for trying.

I also like when Mordred angrily confronts Merlin later in the same episode. His outburst shows how he is well aware of how unfairly Merlin has been treating him, and although he's been remarkably chill about it up until now, it doesn't mean he's not angry and resentful about it. He may not show his emotions much, but he's not unfeeling.

"You did it because you hate me", he says, and "This time you've gone too far!"

THIS IS A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH. It's also a reminder of how much Mordred has been putting up with — for all he knows, Merlin hates him for no good reason. I think it says something about Mordred's nature that he only truly snaps when Merlin's meddling threatens the person he loves. MY STABBY CHILD IS FULL OF LOVE OKAY

I just think they have such an interesting dynamic!

I can see why they wouldn't be a super popular pairing, given Merlin's attitude to Mordred in the show and what Mordred ends up doing. And also the age gap, I guess (I personally don't find it too weird because the actors are so clearly close in age that it can be easily brushed off, but I can see why other people might find it off-putting).

Fanfics

THANK YOU for the fic rec anon, I've skim-read it and it looks very much up my alley ♡

I actually haven't gone looking for many Merlin/Mordred fics. I've a read a few ages ago, most of them just short ficlets, but I only have one bookmarked. It's the fic that put Merlin/Mordred on my radar:

Set in Stone by EachPeachPearPlum (on AO3).

It's a relatively long fic (almost 50k words), so there is space to explore Merlin and Mordred's relationship.

I actually read it before watching the show properly (I basically watched a bunch of scenes from the show and dipped my toes in fanfiction before deciding to watch all of the series).

I haven't re-read it since, and I don't even remember how it ultimately deals with the whole prophecy thing, if it even gets to that point (I think the author meant for this to be part of a series but they didn't continue, although this story is complete). But the prophecy was addressed, with what I thought was an interesting twist.

(I won't say anything too spoiler-y in case anyone wants to check it out, but Mordred is actually aware of the prophecy and he even knows an extra bit about Merlin which Merlin himself doesn't know about. It's revealed pretty early in the story, so it's not really a spoiler).

It touches on some aspects of Merlin and Mordred's relationship that I find fascinating, so I think it's worth a read if you're interested in this pair.

Random lil' excerpt:

"I am not a child, Emrys," Mordred hisses, leaning in close; Merlin suspects he's going for menacing, but all it really comes off as is petulant, which sort of proves his point. "I was the last time you tried to kill me, but not now." And then there are words in Merlin's head, words he is powerless to stop, filled with a rage that is everything and nothing all at once. Keep your reasons to yourself, Emrys, but do not try to placate me with what we both know are lies. Mordred stands then, the expression on his face one of youthful rage, burning bright and burning quickly, and Merlin wishes he was right. If Mordred wasn't so young, Merlin could kill him without hesitation, could dream about him without hating himself (or without hating himself quite so much, since the fact that Mordred is destined to destroy everything Merlin is destined to protect is at least as much of a concern as Mordred's age). This could all be over and done with, one way or another. "Get out of here, Mordred," Merlin snarls. "You live because I let you, and you live for as long as I let you. Do not tempt me."

I JUST THINK IT'S HOT WHEN HE THREATENS TO MURDER PEOPLE OKAY

I'm just going to bring this post back to your attention. There are dozens of us! (people who find mean Merlin sexy). DOZENS

As a final note — my Italian brain refuses to call this ship Merdred. There's got to be a better name for it 😭

[kairiscorner]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE UR WRITING SO MUCH!!!!! seeing your fic reqs r open, could i maybe get some (platonic) headcanons of hobie w a reader who views him as an older brother? Looking up to him, copying him (like things he says, copying his accent without realizing, making the same gestures he does, etc) generally seeing him as family even if it's not blood related!! maybe the reader also stays with him due to like, their dimension collapsing or something like that just to throw in some angst!!! ty have a nice day:3

HELLOOOOOOO ooo, i love this <:)) thank you for the permission to add angst here <333 ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS !!!!!!!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

hobie brown with a sibling figure!spider person!reader headcanons

hobie's honored to have you think of him as an older brother, as family–especially if you didn't have the nicest or most well-off family, he would want to protect you, keep you company, be your home away from home.

he has nothing but utter adoration and respect for you as a person, because hobie knows that not every spider person out there has the best life–him included–and he knows that you've had your fair (or unfair) share of tragedies in life and he wants to keep you safe from all of that, or at least be there to comfort you when you're struggling.

he'd sneak you out of your personal quarters in the spider society even when it's lights out already, he'd sneak you some food you like when you miss home or don't feel like eating the food in the cafeteria, and he'd always stand up for you when you're being scolded by the higher-ups at the society.

he finds it really cute when you copy his accent or way of speaking, it makes him crack up every time. he likes that when he's upset, you talk to him in the manner he does the best you can and just... make him chuckle with how butchered it sounds and tell you that's not how he sounds while stifling a laugh in spite of the hurt, disappointment, or anger he was feeling before that.

when you subconsciously start speaking like he does randomly, to him and to other people, he laughs aloud while you're just confused as to why he's laughing. he tells you that's an actually good impression of him, when you don't realize you were impersonating him, and you embarrassed/flustered face just makes it all the more cute and funny for him.

you both dunk on miguel when he's not looking, especially if the two of you share the same rebellious sentiments. you both make fun of him and other simple minded people in your lives, it helps relieve you of stress and gets a good laugh out of you both.

he loved visiting your dimension and just seeing all the fun things you had going on for you there, and the one thing he wants to do with you while there is take you to the park. you'd ask him why, but he just takes your hand and guides you to the swing sets, and tells you that–as your honorary big brother–he has the duty of swinging you high up and until you scream to be brought down.

he loves going on the merry-go-round with you and just spinning you until you're both dizzy as hell and wobbling, though he catches you when you're about to fall, only to fall down himself–just breaking your fall.

when you end up showing at his place one day out of the blue, horrified and spent, just breathing heavily and being despondent to his questions of what happened to you, he doesn't pry any more and just brings you into his place, trying everything he can to make you comfortable.

after you find the courage to tell him your universe had collapsed, he feels his own heart sink as he extends his sympathy towards you. he offers his ears to be the ears that'll listen to you, his shoulder for you to cry on, and his place to be your place now, too.

he gets concerned for you after you end up not being yourself for a while, being a little too quiet and unresponsive when he speaks to you. he feels saddened about you losing everything and everyone you love, and knowing that you're the only survivor from your universe that had countless people... it hurt you, which made you recluse, and made hobie feel worried about you.

he can't reassure you that everything will be back to what it once was, but he can assure you that he'll do everything in his power to make everything feel a little less painful and scary for you. he'll keep protecting, comforting, and being with you until you're okay, even if that day may never come. he's gonna be here for you until the multiverse collapses, he'll be there for you no matter what, even if he's only holding on to a sliver of his life after protecting you the best he can–because he's your big brother hobie, and he won't let anybody hurt his beloved younger sibling, his family.

tags !! @k4tsu3 @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @popeheywardssecretgf @arachnoia @solecitoszn @conitagray

[captain-kit-adventuress]

#man i would also love to see more characters with just like. boring scars. or messy scars#does it always have to be the sexy knife line down the face#the lots of small scars the round scars the messy scars the burn scars the scars from falling on rocks etc.#that's what makes a body feel really lived in via @e-the-village-cryptid

THIS is the stuff. Most people's backstories should be in the details, not some giant symbolic Body Hurt That Signifies Something Bad Happened™. And if you simply must include like a huge facial scar? Please let it be for something mundane. Even better if it's not directly plot-related, but tells us a lot about the person:

"Oh, yeah, my sister thought it would be funny to scare me by running at me with a paperclip. Turns out I've got a cat's reflexes, but only after I've been jumped on."

That is so infinitely more interesting, and tells us so much more about the character and its abilities, their family, and their growing up than some DEEP DARK SECRET about their weird relations.

We can even turn that into an emotional moment between two characters. Not dramatic, necessarily, but emotional (though drama is possible, too):

"Who...who did this to you?" They touched the scar, ran their fingers along it in a way that might be called reverent if the whisper hadn't been nearly cut off by the edge of rage beneath it.

The other grinned. "My sister thought it would be funny to scare me by running at me with a paperclip. Turns out I've got a cat's reflexes, but only after I've been jumped on."

"You're...you're out there every day defending us against shaps and howts and who knows what else, and we're still alive, and your kid sister slashed your face with office supplies."

"Well, technically, I slashed my face. She was trying to poke me and I was trying to push her hand away. Unstoppable force meets immoveable object and all that."

They pursed their lips. "I didn't sign up to be paired with blind luck."

The other hadn't expected a rebuke, and frowned. "I hate to have to tell you this, but most things are subject to the great wheel of fortune. Skill makes it easier to stop it turning." The other shrugged. "It was great training, anyway."

Look how many things you can cram into a short scene between these two characters in just the dialogue! We're learning so much about them in a single conversation, all because of a mundane happening in a character's past.

The best drama isn't always heightened emotions and terrible angst and oh! the! tragedy! Drama comes from life, from the mundane, and yes, sometimes the terrible, but statistically, there's a lot more mundane than terrible, and the mundane is going to shape us differently than the terrible, yes, but it's not going to shape us any less.

But even with a sort of hero-type character, someone who is very good at fighting, they're going to have lots of little scars and bumps and bruises because they're not perfect. The mundane, for them, is those tiny scars that maybe no one but someone close to them would notice. Or maybe it surprises a stranger because they've built up this hero in their mind as perfect, and the reality doesn't match the image. Use this stuff to tell a story, absolutely, but find out what makes it human. Which means finding out what makes it not special.

if you've got a character who gets into fights a lot then giving them a scar or several is a good way to signify it, but if you're looking for some variety try giving them a few bruises or half-healed scrapes. batter and scuff them up a bit. make their body look lived in.

[rogue-durin-16]

STICK TOGETHER

Summary: When Fred finds out Y/n is planning on leaving the Wizarding World, he canalizes his feelings in the worst way possible, which leads to a terrible outcome that seems unfixable.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

Warnings: swearing

A/N: @meph1stophelian is here putting pressure on me to post this already so I'm apologizing for the poorly written ending lmaoo enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

"Fred, calm down." George begged me; he walked by my side, trying to talk some sense into me, but it was not the moment. "You gotta understand her— throwing a fit isn't going to help anyone—" I didn't even look in my twin's direction while he spoke. "Bloody hell, Fred—"

"Y/n!" I quickened my pace, leaving George behind after spotting her in one of the corridors, having a chat with a couple of Ravenclaws. "Can I have a word?"

"Sure— Oi!" I hadn't waited for her to reply before grabbing her hand and snatching her away to pull her into the nearest broom closet. "What was that about?"

"Tell me I heard Katie wrong and you're not actually leaving."

"I can't tell you that." She plainly responded, her voice steady.

A single, gobsmacked snide left my throat. "You're joking, right?" My heart ached as if it was being constricted when she shook her head no. "So you're fleeing?"

"What?"

"Things are getting ugly so you're running away."

Her eyes dug into mines as she stayed in a very uncomfortable silence before replying with. "So what if I am?" When I averted my eyes from hers, she called my name. Her eyes were somewhat softer now, with a gleam of plea in them. "For the last two years we had nothing but tragedy. Diggory died, You-Know-Who is back and recruiting, the ministry is full on going against a teenager, this pink colored nasty toad is physically abusing us, and on top of that, I have to put up with my housemates' bullshit for having muggle blood— I'm tired!" Her voice had raised a bit, enough for me to know she was struggling to keep it at bay, but still managed to. "If I can have a life out of this then—"

"You're a coward."

"Fred." there was a warning on her tone, but I couldn't listen.

"You're leaving... people behind," she attempted to reason; I didn't let her. "Dunno why I'm surprised, really. At the end of the day you're a Slytherin for a reason."

Her eyes started to well up, and I couldn't tell if it was with anguish or fury. I knew I was getting under her skin, but that was exactly what I intended to do; if I was going to leave that room scarred, so would she.

"Self-preservation, you call it." I scoffed, feeling my own rage building up faster each passing second. "Pure cowardy."

"Is that what you think?" Her tone wasn't steady anymore; she was holding back the poison of her words, for my sake.

"Yeah." I wasn't capable of doing the same thing for hers. "And I don't want your cheap excuses and emotional manipulation to convince me otherwise." My face was probably red due to the anger, my jaw and fists hurt from clenching them; I was off the rails, and the person who would usually stop me was standing in front of me. "Better leave now so you don't have the chance to sell us out when shit goes down."

Silence fell upon us, our gazes locked, equally watery and with the same amount of fury and sadness within them.

And finally she snapped. "Maybe I'm a coward, but you're a self-absorbed prat who's not able to see beyond your own ego!" The way she said it hurt me more than the sentence itself. "This is not gonna be a DADA class, Fred! I don't want to fucking die because I was too slow casting Protego."

"Good luck, Y/l/n." I curtly wished her before stalking out of the broom closet I have initially dragged her into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

We avoided each other for a week. The following Monday, when I entered the Great Hall, I found George and Katie quite depressed.

"What's gotten into you?"

They shared a look before my brother turned to me, deciding to break the news himself.

"Y/n left last night." He gave me an apologetic look. "Thought she'd wait until the graduation—"

"But she's had enough." Katie finished, toying with her breakfast. "Honestly, I wish I had a life in the muggle world too."

My lungs were refusing to take the air inside; I felt as if I would choke if I stayed there, so I stormed out, jogging to reach the countryard.

I needed to breathe.

Even after the wind hit my face, that vital task felt like the most difficult thing in the world to accomplish.

I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her.

A sob escaped my chest, realising the harsh words I had spat at her were probably the last ones she would ever hear from me.

I love her.

A Year And A Half Later

READER'S P. O. V.

I managed to apparate somewhere in the cornfield —the only place around the Burrow I remembered clearly.

I should have landed with a broom, but apparently, Mad-Eye didn't inform Lupin that I would serve as an extra escort for Harry if they were ambushed, so my broom was now smashed somewhere down the muggle road we had flown over.

Mentally cursing the damn moment in which I spoke to Shacklebolt in hopes of being useful in this war, I looked for the entrance of the Weasley home, which took me quite a while.

Funnily enough, it was Lupin who stepped out, wielding his wand and casting yet another hex at me that I somehow managed to block.

With a swift wave of my hand, he was propelled back into the house. "YOU!" A long-haired redhead I recognized as the eldest Weasley helped my old Professor up as I stalked to them with my wand up. "YOU HEXED MY BLOODY BROOM! I'M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!"

"Y/n, calm down—" Shacklebolt was now besides me with his hands up. "He didn't know you were coming— he was trying to protect George from further harm."

My brain was slow to process his words, but as soon as it did, I started to down my arm. "What happened?"

"Snape hit him with the sectumsempra." My eyes widened at Lupin's heavy words.

"Did everyone else make it?" The three of them remained silent, the ginger shaking his head no.

My breath caught up in my throat, but before I could ask if Fred was alright, another tall ginger flashed the corner of my eye, and my head snapped to the living room's door.

FRED'S P. O. V.

Everyone was scattered around the house. Ginny took Hermione and Fleur to her room; Ron and Harry made its way up too; Tonks went out —she needed a moment alone to mourn Mad-Eye—, and, while my parents and I stayed with George, Lupin, Shacklebolt and Bill went to guard the entrance.

I was still kneeling by George's side, holding his hand while our mother healed his wound the best she could, when we heard a yell followed by a strong blow in the kitchen.

I looked at my mum and dad, my eyes flickering to my twin while I reached for my wand.

As I got up, more yells were heard, this time clearer; the voice was familiar— I knew that voice all too well.

There she stood, at the entrance of my home.

Her eyes met mines as soon as she caught a glimpse of me, and my head started to spin. I knew I had no right to do what I was about to do, but after that night's events, in which the war became very much real, I couldn't help but rush to her and engulf her in a tight hug.

Surprisingly enough, I couldn't take more than two steps forward, since she did what I intended to do first.

"You're alright." She mumbled against my shoulder. My eyes shut, trying to block the tears that threatened to fall. "How's he?" She inquired whilst pulling away with a concerned frown.

Not trusting my voice, I nodded in the living room's direction. A quiet sough escaped my lips as she passed by, her hands lingering on my arms for a brief instant before she entered the room and took careful steps towards the settee.

I barely caught a couple of words from George and Y/n's exchange, my mind still buzzing due to the shock.

"What do you say, Freddie?" I frowned at my twin, regretting not listening to the conversation. "She can take my bed, right? I'm not gonna get far anyway."

"Right." I agreed, struggling for my voice to come out steady. It was Y/n we were talking about; I had known her since our fourth year, I had been friends and more with her, seeing her shouldn't be that nerve-wracking.

A couple of minutes later, we were all heading to our respective rooms, and as I closed my room's door behind me and Y/n, it dawned on me that I had underestimated the anxiety that could cause me being left alone with her.

Get it together, Fred.

"If you want, you can grab a shirt from the drawer." I finally managed to speak, motioning at the chest besides the window. She nodded and turned to it to look for one she could sleep in.

Now that I had the opportunity, I carefully observed her, and soon realized how much she had changed in the time we were apart. Not only when it came to her physical appearance; she stood a bit straighter, talked a little calmer; the joy with which she used to sparkle was dim now, eclipsed by a severe, worried attitude— a sign of us no longer being the kids who messed around at Hogwarts.

"I missed you" I knew right away that wasn't the best start for the conversation.

"It sure didn't seem like it." The bitterness in her tone stung my heart harsher than I expected.

"You're still mad?" The way I was conducting the conversation was making me want to bang my head against the wall.

She sighed, turning around now that she had the shirt on to meet my gaze. "A year and a half, Fred. You didn't contact me for a year and a half. I thought we were friends."

"You left me behind!" I talked back, partly because I panicked, but also because I, to my surprise, was still mad too. "What did you even expect?"

"A letter?" She questioned, throwing herself down on the bed. "I mean— I didn't really expect anything, but a letter would have been a good way to let me know you didn't fucking hate me." My eyes, now fixed on my lap, went wide when Y/n's voice broke at her last three words.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, quite ashamed of having to apologise while also being scared of saying anything that could harm her further. "I'm sorry about not writing and- uh... I'm sorry about what I said to you. I know it's not an excuse but I was really mad and..." I cleared my throat and felt the blush creeping up my neck even before I finished the sentence. "... and hurt 'cause you- I thought that maybe I wasn't important enough to you and- yeah, I'm sorry about what I said." I tried meeting her eyes but they were fixed on the wall before her.

"It's fine." She shrugged, "I guess you were right anyway."

"I wasn't right-"

"You were." She hugged her knees to her chest and hid her face there. "Wanna know why I'm back?" She didn't need my response. "They're hunting down my family." My heart stopped beating for a second due to the shockingly deadpanning tone. "A friend gave me a tip-off— they were tracking them down. I got to them just in time." I refrained myself from asking about them —the less I knew, the better. "So yeah, you're right, I was a coward and left people behind."

My body shot up and my legs carried me to George's bed; without me being fully aware of what I was doing or which consequences it could have, I sat down and pulled Y/n into my arms.

Though she was shocked at first, her body soon relaxed into the familiarity of my arms, and she let out a relieved sigh. "You're not alone on this." I whispered, pecking her crown. "I'm here, okay?"

"So you don't hate me?" She murmured against my chest.

Maybe it was the fragility of her voice, or the warmth of her embrace I missed so much; maybe it was this past year and a half of regret, or the night's events, but I couldn't hold back my words.

"I love you."

And even though she went stiff, even if I had just blurted them out almost in accident, I didn't regret saying them, because I, in fact, loved her.

She pulled away to look into my eyes. "You mean it?"

"Yeah." I replied, calmer than I had been in a while. "And I'm really sorry about everything, if I could turn back time—" words and air were cut off by her lips crashing against mines.

We had kissed before, but it was on a bet's behalf or to prank someone; this was different, this was her pouring her 'I love you' into actions, and I embrace it gladly.

"No more running away." I commanded when she pulled back. "From now on, we stick together." She nodded, her forehead resting against mine and her palms on my chest.

[kino-alternative]

“ This will be a long one! Also, trying angst, so uhh . . Don't be surprised if it's bad! ” ( Inspired by: The Story Of Evil )

❢◥ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ◆ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ◤❢

“ The Servant ”

Keywords: Y/N- Your Name, T/N- Twin's Name ( Your twin is a girl )

Notes:

This is a Nagito Komaeda X Reader.

This will obvious have SPOILERS for the game. Specifically, the whole Danganronpa: Goodbye Despair game.

Reader's Gender-Neutral. Also suggest listening to “ Daughter of Evil ” “ Servant of Evil ” and “ No Regrets ”.

0: 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 -

Y/N L/N was a part of the Future Foundation, 14th division. While their twin sister, T/N who was the Ultimate Queen ( Originally Princess but a certain blonde already took the title ), was a Remnant of Despair along with the rest of their class.

It pained the twin to see their other being controlled by the strawberry blonde fashionista. Especially since they had to capture her themselves.

After running the program, Y/N decided to enter as a secret agent of the Future Foundation to help the two others when needed. It hurts knowing the truth but they were glad to see everyone before the tragedy struck.

Their dear twin sister was indeed a troublemaker and others even say she's ‘ evil ’ due to her cruel and awful personality, but of course as - not only her twin - her loyal servant ever since they were reunited, Y/N stood by the girl's side.

There was also another that they treasure, Nagito Komaeda,The Ultimate Lucky Student. Yes, even knowing how he is, he managed to make them fall for him. It was interesting really, since T/N isn't really fond of him ( Most of them don't ). But their was something about him that made them feel . . . Loved. Not platonically.

Y/N and their friends, their fellow survivors of the first killing game, had thought everything would go smoothly.

Sadly, that was not the case. That's the reason why I said ‘ first ’ after all. Y/N had failed to protect the Ex-Remnants of Despair from Monokuma's sick game. They could only think of him being the reason the virus entered in the first place.

Three trials. Three blackeneds. Four victims. It was awful. They hated the fact they had to go through another killing game. Now here they are, starving in two fruit-based buildings. Unfortunately, that was not the only motive the despair loving bear had planned.

1: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫.

“ Upuhuhuhu! That's right! T/N is an agent working for me! ” Monokuma announced to the eleven remaining students. Everyone's eyes widen as they all looked at the said girl with shock and anger.

She took a step back, almost stepping on the skirt of her dress as she clicked her tongue and gritted her teeth. “ Seriously!? You peasants believe him!? ” She asked with a glare.

“ How can we not? You're basically . . Evil! ” Kazuichi exclaimed, hiding behind Mechamaru to avoid the girl's glare. Everyone agreed with what he said. T/N was definitely cruel and awful, how did she managed to get her Ultimate anyway?

“ Silence! You shall not call them ‘ peasants ’! ” Sonia ordered with a stern look on her pretty face. The young queen scoffed, crossed her arms and looked away “ Isn't that what we call others below us, your highness? ”

“ I mean, as despairing as it sounds . . Monokuma hasn't lied to us ” Nagito pointed out, to which T/N replied - “ Hush, you hope obsessed freak! ”

But it seems like everyone seemed to believe it's true.

-

“ You asked for me, your majesty? ” Y/N entered the deluxe room of Grape House. There, at the desk, was their twin who's eyes were shining with anger. “ That damned bear . . Those peasants . . ” She began to curse under her breath as she stabbed a certain area on the map.

“ I will make him pay for ratting me out ”

The elder twin sighed and walked up to her, placing a blanket they grabbed from the bed over her shoulders. “ It is getting late, you should rest. Some sleep should give you energy for now ”

T/N whined but listened nonetheless. As soon as the girl plopped onto bed, she was out like a candle light. Y/N smiled softly and kissed her forehead, bidding her goodnight before leaving the room.

“ That devil shall not live to see the light of day . Not after she poisoned us with her thorns ”

-

“ A body has been discovered! ”

“ A body has been discovered! ”

Two. Two victims. One was a destroyed robot and the other was a stabbed with gunshots H/C girl. That's right. The victims were Mechamaru Nidai and T/N L/N.

2.1: 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞.

Nagito knew something was off.

The moment he saw his hope, Y/N, he knew that they were hiding something. And that something was indeed shocking. “ Ah, I apologise for not introducing myself earlier . . I'm Y/N L/N, the Ultimate Servant ”

That was a lie.

After completing the final dead room, he got his prize. It was files about them. Not only did he found out that Hajime was talentless and was a reserve course student, but his dear hope, his true love of his life, Y/N was not only talentless, but an agent of the Future Foundation.

He was upset but understood Y/N's reason. But for some reason . . He can't help but feel like he missed something.

2.2: 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭.

After the trial . .

“ That's right! The blackened who killed T/N L/N and destroyed Mechamaru Nidai isss . . . Gundham Tanaka, the Ultimate Breeder! AHAHAHA! ” Monokuma cackled as everyone looked at the breeder, who seemed to be prepared for the up-coming punishment.

Despair was painted on everyone's faces, a few tried to hide it. But one let out the pain that was weighing their down, slamming their hands on their podium which surprised them.

Tears streamed down their face as they asked, “ Why did you choose to murder her!? Why in the brutal way!? ” Their voice cracked from the sobs that came after the question. They knew that the H/C haired servant would be upset, but it was shocking to see them break down so . . Easily.

But . . Come to think of it . . They weren't acting like themselves. They usually back Hajime up with no hesitation but during the trial, they kept their mouth shut. Like they're scared to say something wrong or spill information.

Gundham replied while looking away, “ Mechamaru did not deserve death . . But that daughter who's lord is a devil did. She was a demon and lived in the depths of darkness ” ‘ Y/N ’ 's eyes widen those words, their grip tightening.

“ That's right . . I deserved to die ” Everyone looked at them with confusion as they straighten their posture “ It's my fault they died . . ” Placing a hand on her chest, she exclaimed “ So pin the blame on me! ”

Then it finally hit. This wasn't Y/N . . This was T/N. If that's the case then . .

Nagito lowered his head and whispered, “ Y/N's gone . . ”

-

Knock Knock ** Click.

“ Y/N, you're here! Good news, I have an idea on how to prevent . . Huh? ” T/N turned around to see her twin that was wearing her clothes and their hair down like hairs. They looked identical to her. “ Why are you . . ? ”

They only smiled and gave her their clothes, a letter was placed on top of it. “ I actually have a plan of my own, dear sister ” T/N's eyes widen in sudden realization, “ You don't mean . . I will not allow it! Besides, that damned bear would know! ” She exclaimed, her eyes glistening.

Y/N shook their head and placed the clothes on the bed. After that, they put their hands on her shoulders with a firm yet gentle grip. “ I already took care of that issue ” “ But- ” “ Listen now my dear, you and I will switch and you will be me. It is fine, we're twins and I'll be here to take the strike ”

They wiped away her tears with their thumbs and kissed her forehead, “ They won't know because we look alike ” Y/N stood on the original position their twin was in as T/N hesitantly switched clothes. “ B-But what about Nagito!? Surely, he'll miss you! A-And I'm the devil here! I'm the demon! Not you! ”

Their smile saddens, “ . . . ” They knew how the pale luckster likes to pin the blame on his luck and himself. But they already wrote to him in advance. They hoped it would help him in some way. Y/N truly love the luckster just as much as they love their twin sister. But they live to serve their sister, even if it kills them. Even after knowing everything the other's don't.

Dodging the first question, they replied with closed eyes “ If the devil's your lord as they all curse your name . . Then I am a demon too, for we have the same blood ” As soon as T/N finished dressing, they pulled her outside and ordered “ Now go, don't look back and be free ”

The twin sister hesitates before turning away and acted like they had a normal conversation, holding back the tears as the cameras assumed she was the other. Y/N watched her leave before closing the door, leaving it unlocked and sat on the chair while watching the fire on the candle dance.

“ If the day comes that we are reborn once again, it'll be nice to play with you ” They could hear the footsteps “ I'm sorry for leaving you Nagito . . But until then . . ”

* Creak!

Glaring at the breeder, they asked ( sounding like their twin ) “ How dare you, you pest!? ”

-

Watching the execution was painful, like always. T/N handed the letter to Nagito before leaving the trial room “ . . They wanted you to have this ”

3: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.

“ My Dearest Nagito,

I am guessing that T/N gave you this after revealing the truth, correct? But, that is not the point.

I know what you're thinking.

You're blaming yourself again, are you not? You blame your luck. You regret letting me get close to you.

But you shouldn't.

Yes, I have broken our promise. And I truly am sorry but I will never regret getting close to you. I'm sorry for leaving you behind so early.

And I know you may think you have nothing to live for but please, live and fight the despair.

That's what you tell me, right?

A daily reminder that you are not useless nor worthless, you are more than that. You're more than just a stepping stone. Don't be afraid to acknowledge that, even if you don't believe it.

Can you do me a favor? If it's alright.

End this killing game for me. I know you know about the files but that's the past. The future is still out there, right? So please, live and end this killing game with the others.

It seems like I'm running out of ink, so let me say this one last time, alright?

I truly and deeply love you, Nagito Komaeda. Please do remember that. Even after what you did, I can not help but love you. So, if the day comes where we are reborn, I'll gladly fall for you all over again.

I'll die with only one regret. And that is, I wasn't able to protect you.

- Signed, Y/N L/N <3 ”

4: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡.

“ Please, wake up ”

Y/N slowly opened their eyes, trying to figure out where they were and what was going on. But as soon as they sat up, they were pulled into a hug. “ Y/N! You're awake! ” “ T/N . . ? What . . ? ” Their gaze then landed on Nagito who stood beside Hajime.

Then it snapped, they hugged back and smiled “ So you did it . . I'm so glad ” They whispered as T/N pulled away and Nagito walked up to them. Tears finally streamed down his cheeks as he held both of their hands and leaned his forehead on theirs. “ You're here . . ”

Y/N kissed his nose, “ Everything's alright, I'm here, you're here, we're here. Safe and sound ”

Everything turned out to be great in the end. T/N slowly warmed up to everyone. They're working with the Future Foundation on Jabberwock Island. And all is good.

Arms wrapped around their waste as the luckster placed his chin on their shoulder, playing with the ring on their finger. With a content sigh, he says “ I love you ”

Yes, everything has it's flaws but nonetheless it was perfect to them.

❢◥ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ◆ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ◤❢

“ I hope you all enjoyed it! Angst isn't really my strong suit but hey, I'll get better at it! ( I was originally going to put a bad ending, but I'll make that someday ) ”

- Sincerely, Mizuki Kioku.

[denays-xo]

Trying To Get Back Together | Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Pairing: Tsukishima x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1.04k

Warnings: swearing, angst, toxic behavior, toxic relationship, slight spoiler, verbal argument, no happy ending, ooc tsukishima

Author's note: This is the last update for Tsukishima's story in TTGBT (series? ;3). I plan on posting other stuff too like head canons, one-shots and maybe SMAUs. So stay tuned! I'd like to mention @chelly-ilysmiwdfy! Thank you for liking my previous update. Keep being your cool self!

I'd really appreciate it if you like and reblog. Please do not repost without proper credits 'cause I worked really hard on this :(. Thank you and enjoy!

Summary: Y/N has been living peacefully (or at least tried to) after graduating college and having the opportunity to work their dream job. Strongly getting by everyday and extremely determined to overcome the obstacles that will come their way. When they least expected it, a tragedy came, they were invited to their highschool reunion and there they reconciled with Tsukishima Kei, their highschool ex-boyfriend.

TTGBT: Tsukishima Kei

Part 1: The Meeting

Part 2: The Backstory

Part 3: The Ending

"What did you do with the apartment?" He asked as he continued to stare at the view in front of you two. Your hands still grabbing on to the railing like it's your lifeline.

"I sold it. A friend lives there now." You left the apartment the night you broke up. But the last message he sent you was him insisting that you keep it.

"I see. I guess you wouldn't want to stay there."

"Yeah." Tsukishima's heart shatters upon hearing your answer. 

"We could get another one." He smiled awkwardly. 

"Huh?"

You felt his hand grab yours and place it on his chest. Your mind went blank and all you could feel was the fast beating of his heart. 

"Be mine again, Y/N. Please."

It is as if someone has poured a bucket of ice cold water over your head. You stood there, frozen and staring, just trying to process what he said. 

"I—what? What is this?" Your mind was blank and you were only able to let out a few words. 

"I want you to be mine again." 

"I—no." The fear on his face was too much. "I—should—I'll get going, Tsukishima-kun." 

"No. No, Y/N, please hear me out." He held both your hands this time, no plans on letting you go. The both of you stood there for a couple of seconds just staring at each other, trying to find the right words to say. You were at least slightly prepared to see him at this party, but you weren't prepared for this. 

"Tsukishima-kun, I don't think this is a good idea. Please let go of me." 

"Y/N, be mine again." His loud sobs filled the balcony. You look around and surprised that no one has attempted to go outside yet. "Please, Y/N. I'm still so fucking in love with you, I just can't let you go." 

He looked desperate, completely different from the Tsukishima that was cool-headed and sarcastic before. 

"I—I don't want to anymore. Please let go of me." Your eyes started to tear up and you couldn't figure out why your chest was tightening so much. 

"I promise to… to give you everything you want. I'll make you happier this time around. I promise I won't lash out on you anymore. I—please just be with me." He looked at you with expectant eyes.

"It wasn't because you're mad, Tsukishima-kun. It was because," you hiccup unconsciously because somehow you were crying too. "because you kept running away. I don't think you still get me after all these years." 

The tears continually streaming down his face, what a tragic sight. Your heart ached for the man you once loved.

"We still have a chance right?" His voice was shaky, almost a mumble, he was struggling and you could tell. 

"We already had our chance and we blew it. You know we blew it. Let's just go on with our lives, please." 

He went down on his knees and held my hand even tighter. 

"No, no, I'm not ready to let go of you yet. I don't want to lose you. I want you back, come back to me, please. Sleep next to me again, I miss your warmth whenever you hug me. I miss your cooking. I miss how you play with my hair. I miss our bickering. Everything, I miss you so damn much. I think you're the only girl I'll be able to love. I-I know I was stupid, but I can change right? Y-you'll come back if I change right?" 

"Please stand up, Kei. Don't kneel, please." You looked up to the sky partly avoiding the sight that's in front of you right now and partly trying to calm yourself. "Why are you doing this? You were the rational one, right? You were the one who's good at handling hard situations. Why have you become like this?" When you finally look down, you see him crying on his forearms still holding onto your hand.  

"I just—I desperately want you back and… and I promise not to hurt you anymore."

"I promised myself I won't hurt like that anymore too. I'm finally starting to value myself and I refuse to be treated that way again." You took a deep breath and proceeded to let your heart out. "What you did really hurt me, Kei."

He lifted his tear-stained face, once again he was listening to you intently. 

"I was alone at the most important and vulnerable times of our relationship. I know, you were the same. I knew and I understood that. You're going through the same pain as me. You were alone too. But I tried, Kei. I tried to fight for it, didn't I? I sought for you, I reached out. But I don't think you were willing to fight for us too. How could I fight for something as important as our relationship alone? How could I continue to fight when you weren't even willing to fight with me." 

The both of you quietly stared at each other for god knows how long. You knew he understood. You removed your hands from his grip and wiped the tears on his face. You lowered yourself leveling with him and kissed him on the forehead. 

"The next person you love," both of your tears fell in sync "love them with all your heart. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable when you're with them. I know you like to act cool thinking that people will like that more. But nothing makes a person fall harder in love when you are honest and open about your feelings towards them. Love again, Kei. And—and love them better." 

Tsukishima looked up to you with all the hope gone in his eyes. He knew there was no getting back now. He knew he hurt you so much but you were still kind to him. He knew his heart would never fully heal. He knew he would regret losing you for the rest of his life. He knew you will never be his again. He knew but he never spoke. Then, you did.

"Let's not meet each other again."

You stood straight and headed towards the door immediately. You didn't think you could take it if anything more happened. The last thing you heard was his scream as he cried loudly again. 

You left anyway. 

TTGBT: Tsukishima Kei

Part 1: The Meeting

Part 2: The Backstory

Part 3: The Ending

[jotadoul]

i exist in the most barely-there subniche and still i will encounter things. i am thinking about them here (and maybe i'm wrong!)

a character comparing/contrasting visuals to describe other visuals....

.... to someone frequently characterised (intentionally or not) as a NLP (no light perception, ""fully"") blind person

i do think it's okay and important to show someone fucking up. because people fuck up. i love mistakes and consequences, and hey, maybe Blind Character appreciates them trying, maybe there is an acknowledged learning curve, and maybe someone is just an asshole! but when it's played completely straight-- the author wanting me to suspend disbelief that this is a genuinely charitable act-- i find it obnoxious. it centres an abled/sighted experience despite disabled people interacting/communicating with the world on different terms. (even if learned within schools/programs/standardised systems-- and often without them-- individual, reflective, reflexive responses persist!)

similar to that, i think there's gotta be a big difference between reusing the "blind person touches other person's face to 'see' them" trope, versus like... a blind person touching someone's face as an act of intimacy the same way anyone else might.

there are so many communication styles and reasons why one might employ one and not another. accommodating this isn't just... face-touching. and i mean if they DO have PERSONAL disability reasons for it, i'd love to read those instead of invoking an old poetic shorthand that we're all just supposed to accept. anyway,

using food to describe the complexion of people of colour....... hell yeah dude...

the prose (or art) version of the War Zone Yellow colour grading in western film

leaning hard into real world ableism; referring to disability as a shattering tragedy-- despite n'doul unoquivocally stating that he didn't experience or perceive blindness as weakness

^ not like araki didn't encourage this by leaning on the myth that when one "sense" goes, another "compensates" for it. ability isn't universally (or typically?) a leave-a-penny-take-a-penny situation

i'm real dirty for Big Angst and there are ways to explore this in a limited, subjective, character-driven way that feels personal and dramatic and compelling when exploring "difficult" emotions/responses frustration/guilt/ableism/self-hatred. but like in general

a) if you're not disabled/if you're sighted, maybe interrogate the compulsion to do so wrt (for example) disability specifically.

b) imo a more omniscient voice for something like this can unintentionally say a lot about what opinions an author holds about disability.

c) we can extrapolate and expand on so many more aspects of a person, in what way are those things related or unrelated to ability and sense of self? if n'doul (for example) is reduced to [your understanding of] blindness-- especially if that's the ultimate takeaway from this one-off antagonist-- is that being faithful to the character, or is it just a way to avoid something more complex? Idk

i'm really just working thru this stuff myself and despite crawling out of my grave only a month ago, i know it's not new. this happens with Johnny and Polnareff a lot as well, who DO have a lot of tragedy to cite/explore/process! but if supported by outdated/ableist/purely fictitious tropes alone, it falls flat real quick..... in my ho opinion

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3k

Warnings: swearing, angst, implied smut

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 10 Part 12

Part 11

The next few days were monotonous. Most mornings, I would go to the gym. Then I'd head off to work. After work, I'd take Perrin for a walk. We stopped at the dog park a few times to throw the ball. Then I'd go home and read or watch tv. After dinner, I would FaceTime Liam before falling asleep.

Although I missed him terribly, it had been good to have some space. I was able to think about us a bit. Liam was always great on the phone, a gentleman even. Yes, he flirted with me and made inappropriate comments, but they were always in context. I'd be lying if I said I didn't flirt with him back. But it was nice to get to know him better, and I decided I definitely liked him as a person and a lover. He was sweet, sincere, funny and warm, the same as he was when he was Will. He seemed to accept who I was. There were no digs at me, maybe some friendly ribbing, but it seemed he liked me too. We spent a lot of time laughing. We had a similar sense of humour.

He opened up about some of his past relationships, how he felt about them and what went wrong. A lot of the times, he admitted to fault, especially in the early ones. I talked a bit about Andy but kept a lot back. No doubt, he noticed.

Thursday afternoon changed everything.

Liam called me when I was driving home from work at about four-thirty. It broke with our routine. We usually spoke around nine o'clock. I answered the phone, and Liam's voice came through the speakers.

"Hello, Sweetheart. How was your day?"

I smiled at this now familiar greeting. "Really good, Liam. How was yours? Have you finished work already?"

"Yeah, good. I'm supposed to stay for another hour, but I wasn't needed, so I left." Liam paused and said, "Listen, Lana, I have to tell you something."

"Oh, no."

"Yesterday, a parent from your school saw the pictures of us." I went cold. I was 10 minutes from my house, but I pulled over. "She left a message on one of the pictures that you look like a teacher from her kid's school." Oh shit. "Anyway, this morning, you were on duty at the "kiss and drop", whatever that is."

Robotically I said, "it's where the parents drop the kids off at school without getting out of the car." I could see where this is as going.

"Right." He sounded strange but continued. "Well, they took a picture of you, put that side by side with the others. Long story short, Sarah was called to confirm your name."

"Oh, for fucks sake." I was pissed off. "What did she tell them?"

"She said she couldn't confirm or deny."

"In other words, yes, but my boss said, don't say anything."

"That's a bit unfair, Lana. She can't lie to them, or they won't bother calling her when they get a story. They will just run it because they can't trust what she says."

"Fuck this," I said and hung up on Liam.

I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and spun the tires. I had a Toyota Camry SX. It's sort of sporty, but it's not meant to be driven like that, but I was fuming. Liam rang again, but I ignored it. I backed off and slightly and rounded a corner, tires chirping as I went. I fumbled in my bag, driving one-handed until I found and lit a cigarette. As stupid as it was, I drove the rest of the way home like that.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my Draggin jeans, leather jacket and riding boots. I grabbed my helmet, gloves and went for a ride.

I loved being on the bike. Andy was the first guy I'd been with who rode. I remembered the first time he got me on the bike. He hadn't even let the clutch out, and I screamed and jumped off. The second time was better, and I went around the block before I got off. The third time, I was hooked. I loved holding onto his waist as we rode, my chest pressed against his back, my thighs touching his, my hands under his t-shirt. I loved the heavy thrumming of the bike, the wind whistling past. It was exciting, erotic, but also calming. Calming is what I needed.

I was so angry. Not at Liam or Sarah. Or even the bitch who outed me or the others who put my photo out there in the first place. I didn't know who I was angry with. Hollywood? Gossip? Social media? Myself? Maybe I was mad at myself. I deserved it. I'd turned my back on Andy, fucked another guy, and now I'm in a relationship with him, according to public record. Every time someone googles my name, his will come up.

The parents at school will give me looks, and I won't know what they are thinking. Will they be laughing at me? And if it didn't work out, everyone would know. I would have to go through a break up while everyone watched, picked at it, chose sides and commented.

I rode for about an hour up through the Blue Mountains. When I stopped for petrol at Wentworth Falls, my thoughts had settled, and I was thinking clearer. I stopped at a cafe, got a coffee and checked my phone. Liam had called twice more and sent a few messages. Riza had called and texted me.

I checked Riza's first. It was a link to an article, Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover. Her text simply said, "Jen just found this. Call me if you need me." I didn't click the link.

I checked Liam's. He said he wants to make sure I'm ok. Then he said he wants to come over and talk to me.

I called Liam. He seemed to answer before it even rang. "Sweetheart. Are you ok?" He sounded a bit frantic.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I knew you'd be upset."

"Upset is one thing. I snapped at you and blamed Sarah. You're right. It's not her fault."

"Lana, don't worry about that. Did you read the article?"

"No."

Liam was quiet a while. Then he said, "Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just needed some time to calm down." I let out a short laugh. "I am a redhead after all. I have a temper."

Liam laughed, "Do I have to be worried about being stabbed in my sleep?"

"Nah, being a redhead wouldn't make me do that. I get that part of me from being a Scorpio."

"I don't know whether to be scared or turned on right now."

I smirked, "Why not be both?"

Liam laughed and then got serious. "You sure you're ok? Do you want me to come over? I almost did get in my car when you wouldn't answer."

"Stalker," I teased.

"And that's why I didn't."

"I'm not at home anyway."

"Where are you?"

"I took off on the bike to clear my head. I'm in the mountains right now."

"The mountains?"

"Yeah, the Blue Mountains. Look west tomorrow, and you'll see them."

"I'll do that." Liam paused. "I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you too. Bye, Liam."

"Bye, Sweetheart."

I finished my coffee and rode home.

I texted Riza to let her know I was ok. I played with Perrin. I texted my brother to remind him to pick Perrin up tomorrow afternoon. I ate some dinner before packing my bag for tomorrow and went to bed. It was a long time before I finally fell into a restless sleep.

Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover

"Pictures of Liam Cross, 38, with an unknown female were circulating on social media earlier this week, and tongues were set wagging.

"Users were quick to put their detective hats on and tracked down Cross's new flame late yesterday. The woman was identified as Mrs Alana Walker, 30, Sydneysider, and special education teacher. Not much else is known about Mrs Walker other than she was widowed in 2017.  Her husband, Andrew Walker, and father Brian Kelly were killed in a horrific Boxing Day crash when his car was destroyed by a truck driver who had a medical incident behind the wheel.

"Sources close to Cross say that he has been elated the past couple of months, and now they know why. They hope for his sake that this relationship will not be plagued by scandal like his previous relationships.

"For now, Cross's camp is remaining tight-lipped on the situation. While they don't deny a relationship, they will not confirm it.

"Cross is currently in Sydney for an adaptation of the widely popular and romantic fantasy epic Beyond the Stones series by C. W. Taylor. He will co-star alongside Australian Myra Roberts with an expected release in the northern hemisphere winter of 2022."

I woke on Friday morning and laid in bed for a while. I should have gone to the gym, but I just couldn't get my body to move. I wanted to chuck a sickie, blow off the whole day, maybe go for a swim, or just watch movies all day. I had an urge to watch Kill Bill for some reason. But I couldn't do that to the kids.

I knew I was just trying to avoid the parents at school. I'm sure most of them know by now. Gossip runs rampant at the school gate. We've all seen Big Little Lies. Probably all the staff knew too. It was one of those days where I wish I could just press fast forward and get to the part where I see Liam again. I didn't want to miss out on that.

In the end, I got up, showered and got ready for work. I tamed my hair, put on my war paint and dressed in black work pants, ballet flats and a pink knitted cardigan.

I started to pack my bag for the weekend, trying to work out what outfits I needed. I had decided what I wanted to wear for dinner tonight, but I didn't know what to wear to bed. Would I even need anything to wear? I blushed at the thought. I packed a basic set of pyjamas. I added jeans and a couple of t-shirts, a hoodie and my Dr Martens. I put some pretty underwear in there too. I didn't have much, just a white lace set which Liam had already seen and two black lace sets. I packed them all.

My phone beeped, and I got a message from Liam. It was a picture of his face all sweaty from working out. He had his tongue sticking out. He had written, I was going to send you a picture of my cock but thought that was a bit vulgar. So I decided to send you a picture of another part of my body that's going to fuck you tonight. Can't wait x.

My whole body grew hot, my stomach filled with butterflies, and I giggled. I started to reply with 'cheeky bastard', but then I had an idea. I sent him a picture of my face with my mouth open in an O shape, and I rested a finger on the corner of my lower lip. I wrote, I was going to send you a picture of my pussy but thought it was a bit obvious. So I sent you a picture of another part of my body that's going to get fucked tonight. X

Within a minute, I got a reply of: Game on, Sweetheart.

Well, if Liam wants to play a game, I can play a game.

I pulled my pyjamas out of my bag and put in a satin shift, pretty much my only sexy bedclothes. I thought about what other sexy photos I could take and packed a few other things. Then I made my lunch and headed off to work.

I rang Riza on the way to work. She asked me about how I was feeling. I told her I was dealing with it, but I said no more about it. I asked Riza about how she and Jen were going, and she said we would meet up soon.

"I miss you," she said.

"Yeah, I miss you too. Talk soon, ok?"

"Yeah, have a good weekend slut! Tell Liam I said hi."

"Suck a dick Riz."

We hung up, and almost immediately, Dave calls.

He doesn't say hello or anything, just launches in with, "Are you dating Liam Cross?" Fuck. "One of Lucy's friends just sent her an article about you and him."

No use denying it then. "Yeah, I am. He's the one I'm spending the weekend with." I braced for his reply.

"Fuck me dead. My fucking little sister is rooting Liam fucking Cross." His voice didn't sound angry. He sounded impressed.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a big deal. Just don't forget to get Perrin and don't tell Mum."

"Not a big deal? The kids will go crazy when they meet him."

"Dave, we are hardly at the point where we are meeting families."

"Yeah, alright, keep your shirt on."

"I'll come by Sunday arvo to pick Perrin up?"

"Wanna stay for dinner?"

"Yeah, ok. See you then."

I ended the call and got to work not long after that. I went straight to my classroom, trying to avoid everyone. There was one person I couldn't avoid, and that was Marla, my teacher's aide. She was in her late 50s, though, so I thought she would be pretty safe. She didn't mention anything all morning, which was a relief.

At lunchtime, I stayed in the classroom. I told Marla I had some work to do, so she left me alone. I checked my phone and found a message from Liam.

It was a picture of Liam drinking from a bottle of pineapple juice, and it said, Me hydrating for tonight x.

His innuendo made me chuckle, but I had planned for something like this. I took a selfie of myself with a banana in my mouth and sent it with the caption: Presumptive much? Me carbo-loading for tonight.

Liam replied a little later with, I can't decide if I'm winning because my pics are better or if I'm still winning because yours are better.

Marla came back into the classroom about halfway through lunch. She pottered around the room, trying to look busy. She kept looking over at me. I felt myself start to panic. She wasn't acting like that this morning. She must know now. They all must know. I started wondering what everyone was saying about me in the staff room. They had probably sent Marla back to the classroom to see what information they could get out of me. The panic receded, and anger filled the void.

Eventually, I lost my temper. "Have you got something to say, Marla?"

Marla had the good grace to look ashamed. "No. Nothing."

I crossed my arms. "What are they saying?"

Marla sighed, "honestly? They're mostly pretty stoked about it. Happy for you."

I let my arms fall. My vision went a bit blurry. "Really?"

Marla came over and leaned against the table, and rubbed my back. "Oh, Darl, yeah, most of us remember what it was like for you. We just want you to be happy."

I smiled at her, but the tears still came. Marla gave me a tissue. "Thanks, Marla." I sniffed, "ugh, the parents, though. I'm not looking forward to that."

Marla smiled and said, "don't worry about it, Darl. I'll fill in for ya this arvo, and you can do my Wednesday lunch duty. How's that?" I thanked her. Relieved, I hugged her and cleaned myself up.

When school had finished, I made a mad dash to the car park. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. I'd have to show my face in front of the parents sooner or later, but I decided it was Monday's problem.

I checked my phone before I headed off to Liam's place. He had sent me a shirtless picture of himself with some rope curled up around his shoulder and written, One of my costumes has a rope. It made me think of you. I'm about to leave. See you soon.

Dammit, I couldn't think of a response to that one! I sat and thought about it for ages. I was not about to give in easily. Then it came to me. I got my water bottle and one of my spare undies from my overnight bag. I wet them a bit, put the underwear and water bottle on the bag and took a picture of them both. I wrote. My water bottle leaked in my bag, and my panties got wet. It made me think of you. I'm on my way.

The three circles came up within seconds, and Liam sent, You are in so much trouble, Sweetheart. Park around the back.

And because I can't control my tongue in real life or texts, I wrote back, That's what she said.

I didn't wait for a reply. I just put an audiobook on and drove.

Part 12

[jedi-order-apologist]

So,about Miller's clone wars books, you mentioned you might have some thoughts on it and i would like to hear them, if you're up to? I read some time ago and don't really remember if had any jedi bashing or not, i just recall having fun while reading.

I wouldn’t say that the books are Jedi-bashing, just that they get the Jedi wrong. There’s a lot of conflation of love and attachment, and the typical “Jedi can’t show emotions” thing going on. It’s just done for whump instead of bashing.

Actually, yeah, I think that’s my main issue with these books. Not really how it portrays the Jedi, but rather that stuff is done for the sake of whump regardless of whether it actually…fits. Which would be fine if this was a fanfiction tagged as whump, but this is official material associated with the TCW TV show. The EU may not have been strictly “canon”, but it was at least intended as the equivalent of fanfiction with a big flashing neon “canon-compliant” tag. And I feel that these books fall very flat in that regard.

And yeah, I guess I’m not really the biggest fan of whump in general. I like angst fine but…I get burned out on this particular brand of it, because it usually just doesn’t feel earned or built up enough for me. I’m not sure if I can exactly put my finger on it but there’s a way that the prequels and TCW justify their tragedy to me that these books just don’t capture. It’s a really careful thing, to handle angst properly, and if you go too far then it gets really tiring.

But that’s obviously a personal preference thing. For those who like whump more than I do, I’m sure these books are a lot more appealing - so don’t let me put you off of them if you enjoy them. These books just didn’t resonate with me for a lot of reasons…

(rambling more specifically about what I liked and didn’t like under the cut)

I think the books (which again, I haven’t read Siege - only Wild Space and Stealth) do have their strengths. I think Miller is really good at writing playful banter - those character interactions are absolutely on point. I couldn’t stop laughing when in Stealth, Obi-Wan pretended he had no idea where Anakin could’ve possibly learned how to be so sarcastic.

But uh…most anything outside of playful banter? Not so much a fan of those interactions. The way it’s written…it’s like they have only two levels of interaction, and the instant there’s any tension between characters, they invariably take that tension to 11, with no stops in between. It makes everyone come off as really bitchy, because they’re the same level of upset regardless of how minor or serious the trigger. I don’t mind characters arguing but this constant level of it wears on my nerves. Everyone’s written as though they’re 30 seconds from having a breakdown, and I’m sorry, but I just can’t see how these people are supposed to survive three more years of war if they’re already so close to their breaking points.

Especially Obi-Wan. I’m sorry but this is the worst offender in regards to “doing things for whump rather than fitting with the character”. The characterization of Obi-Wan is just…really, really fanficy. And I don’t mean to malign fanfic, because I do love transformative works…but characterization is often a mixed bag, and, as in these books, a weird mix of highly on-point moments which exactly hit what you’d think the character would do/say/think, and moments that are the complete antithesis of that, and moments that are just really, really off without being able to exactly pin down why. And I get that a lot of this is subjective, and a lot of people can and do fit this with their interpretation of the character, but I just can’t. I can’t see Obi-Wan being as dysfunctional as he’s portrayed here and making it through the genocide of his people and Anakin’s betrayal and then living 20 years alone in exile. That’s not the kind of thing you get through if you already hate yourself for years before that.

I don’t know…it’s almost like Miller felt like Obi-Wan had to be this dysfunctional, that he needed to be equally as unstable as Anakin, just in a different way…and I just don’t see that from the films or TCW. I know a lot of people really like this interpretation. I don’t. It’s not that I think Obi-Wan is perfect, because he’s absolutely not. He’s fallible as anyone else would be. But the idea that characters need to be dysfunctional in order to be fallible or interesting doesn’t sit well with me.

Maybe I’m reading it wrong, and this is all supposed to be a temporary thing Obi-Wan is struggling with. I don’t remember it being quite as bad in Wild Space, after all, so maybe his characterization in Stealth is all supposed to be an after effect of Zigoola, and he’ll make peace with all of that by the end of Siege, presumably after his terminally ill friend/love-interest inevitably dies tragically in his arms? Somehow it doesn’t seem likely to me that that would make his self-recrimination/self-loathing/refusal-to-take-care-of-himself/etc any better, but I could be wrong. If anyone knows if Siege addresses my issues with Stealth then I’d probably be much more encouraged to read it.

The part that really soured my opinion, though, was when we got to the scientist, and how all that was handled. I get it, Miller was trying to present a situation of “someone’s in trouble, Anakin wants to help, Obi-Wan also wants to help but knows that they must stay focused on their mission, they both have good points”...except that the scientist was at the center of their mission, she was being forced to make the bioweapon they were trying to stop, so Obi-Wan’s “oh no, just like Qui-Gon, Anakin’s picking up strays that we can’t afford to be distracted by” makes NO sense to me. In helping her they’re helping their mission. And the part where he's thinking about how they have to succeed in their mission at all costs, and even considers Shooting the Hostage himself is really...not Obi-Wan, to me? Yeah there are a lot of lives on the line, and maybe this was supposed to be him struggling with the Dark Side (it didn’t really come across as being written that way to me though, but I could at least accept that more), but the way it was all written didn’t really seem to justify itself, and doesn’t seem in character for Obi-Wan (I realize this book was written very early in TCW’s run, so the Citadel arc wasn’t out yet, but...in the Citadel arc Anakin is the one saying that the Jedi don’t go far enough to succeed in the war, and Obi-Wan gives him some raised eyebrows for that). And the way he gets hung up on the scientist having been coerced into making the bioweapon because she was unwilling to sacrifice her family is so odd to me, because 1) they have limited time, and it doesn’t make sense to spend that time dwelling on things that can’t be changed, and they need her cooperation so it’s better to be tactful than openly judgemental, and 2) Jedi don’t expect non-Jedi to follow their beliefs and make their sacrifices, which is how this whole thing comes across.

Anyway, I’m sure people can come up with justifications and explanations for why this all works but it doesn’t work for me and there wasn’t enough going for the story otherwise for me to try and make it work. YMMV.

Oh, and also with both Wild Space and Stealth, I really get the sense that Miller wanted Padmé, Bail, Obi-Wan, and Anakin to end up in a four-way but for obvious reasons wasn’t allowed to write them as such, so settled for making various insinuations whenever possible. It’s actually more amusing than annoying, but it certainly doesn’t help it feeling like a mislabeled fanfic.

Anyway, if you like these books that’s completely fine. But they’re not for me and I don’t agree with their take on Star Wars or its characters. I can go into more specifics if you want, but it was more about the general way it was written and the characters characterized than any specific passages or moments.

[kaptain-kookie]

Undeniable [1]

“The moon was my first love, you were my second.”

Pairing: Alpha Lycan! Jungkook x (f) Lycan! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Tragedy

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: SLOW BURN, Minor character death, Blood, Tragedy, fluffiness

Part 1

The sight hits you like a splash of cold water, or rather a punch to the gut. The blood in your veins runs cold, your joints lock up as you stare in horror.

‘No, this can’t be happening.’

The town you called home is erupting in flames around you, you want it to be fake. You want to blink your eyes and then open them to find everything okay, the sun shining, the blood of your pack members still safely in their body. When you do blink and nothing changes, you’re forced to grasp the reality of the situation. Your childhood home is falling to the ground as you stand in the middle of the street.

‘Think. You have to think’

You’re frozen in fear. Not many things in life have genuinely scared you, but the sinister orange glow around you, the way it reflects off the blood that paints the streets. It forces your heart to beat erratically, the wolf in you whimpering in pain as her pack is burning, dead or dying around her. Her home is no more.

‘Move, you have to move. Chanhyeok. Find Chanhyeok.’

He is your first priority, you need to find him if he isn’t already dead. Your eyes scan around, ears straining to hear anything besides the roaring of the flames, any sounds that would indicate life to you. That’s when you hear it, a whimper behind you. You immediately spin around to the source of it, walking and then breaking into a run as you follow the now clearly constant flow of whimpers and whines.

“Chanhyeok! Chan-“ Your shout is cut short when you see him, curled into a ball and whimpering next to a trash can. A sob of relief escapes you as you kneel down next to him, bringing the whimpering pup into your arms. His small arms wrap around your neck as he cries, you fail to stop the tears trailing down your cheeks as you nuzzle the side of his head.

 “You’re okay Channie, I got you” you whisper to the shivering boy, his cries slowly melting into whimpers as he calms at the scent of you. “N-Noona, what’s happening?” The young pup asks, and you suck in a breath. Holding him securely in your arms you stand up, moving to walk away from your burning town, setting out to find the one pack you know for sure would take you in. “I don’t know Channie, but we’ll be okay. Let’s go find your Mommy and Daddy.”

 Chanhyeok has always been a well-behaved pup, especially for a six-year-old. Your sister and her mate had raised him well, and as soon as you had calmed him down from hysterics he was ready to listen. With the promise of finding his parents, you shifted into your wolf and had him sit on your back. The boy immediately knew to hold onto the thick fur of your neck tight as you ran through the woods. This would be the fastest way to get to Chamdoen’s territory. If you were under any other circumstances you would take the time to enjoy the run through the woods, but now with the smell of your burning town fading slowly, you only had one thing on your mind, and that was to get you and your nephew to safety.

You yourself have only visited the Chamdoen pack a few times, but enough to remember how to get to their territory. They’re famed, the strongest pack on the continent, and yet they weren’t even that large. They had less than 50 members the last time you’d checked, and that’s even including the pups. That’s what makes the pack so appealing to you in a way. They’re so small and so closely knit, and yet they can beat packs twice their size. There have always been rumors of them housing wolves with special abilities, but from as far as you knew there were no such wolves.

Aside from what the rumors like to sell, from your experiences with them, the pack is as normal as any other. They have the same hierarchy as any other pack, most of the same traditions. If you had gotten to choose which pack you were born into, you would have chosen them. You're certain they’ll take in your sister and mate and son after they hear what’s happening to her pack, you can only hope they’ll extend that kindness to you.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when the scent of the pack’s borders gets noticeably stronger. You slow your run to a walk before completely stopping at the border. You lift your head to the sky and let out a howl to notify the Nu of the pack that you’re here and that you mean no harm. After running for hours straight your legs are thankful for the rest as you wait for at least one of the Nu to appear.

When you notice the amber glow approaching you, you slowly lower yourself to the ground, laying down on your stomach as you let out a low whine. The Nu acknowledges your submission, looking you over as a look of realization passes over the Grey wolf's eyes, but the sound of something running towards the both of you throws him off. You quickly recognize the scent of the newcomer, your tail wagging behind you as a dark brown wolf approaches you two. His blue eyes show concern but that doesn't stop him from walking over to nuzzle the top of your head with a growl in greeting, one that you happily reciprocate.

‘What happened’ his voice rings clearly in your head, but you just shake it before replying ‘I would love to tell you but can it please wait,’ He looks as if he’s about to retort but you let out a soft growl urging him to listen as you continue. “I’ve been running for hours and Chanhyeok deserves to sleep somewhere that isn't my back Baekhyun.’ His eyes widen in realization, and he turns to nod at the Nu. The gray wolf turns around, retreating back into the forest, and with a flick of his tail, you stand up and follow him. Baekhyun settles into a steady pace next to you, his tail wagging lightly as he speaks, ‘Okay then little Wolf, let's go see your sister, she’s been worried sick ever since she heard your howl.’

 “Y/N! Chanhyeok!” The voice of your sister is immediately apparent as you step into the main street of the territory. She’s running towards you, her brown eyes filled with worry but she visibly relaxes at the sight of you and her pup. Her mate whines as she ignores him return in favor of kneeling down in front of you on the pavement. She wraps her arms around your neck, placing her forehead on your own and you growl softly in greeting. “I was so worried when I heard you.” She whispers, her hands tightening her grip on your fur. You push her away lightly, eyes shining with love as you wag your tail, trying to convey to your older sister that you’re alright. She lets out a breathy laugh before standing up, brushing off her knees and then leaning down to grab the piles of clothes she had dropped in her efforts to hold you. Her attention turns to the pup somehow still sound asleep on your back as she smiles brightly, speaking again, “I knew you’d keep him safe.” She takes a step towards you and uses her free hand to soothingly pet the top of your head. “I had no need to worry.” Your tail wags again at the praise as you softly growl again in happiness, it was almost a purr as you nudge your head into her hand, wanting more affection from your older sister.

Baekhyun whines again loudly, walking over to Wes and nosing at her side. She giggles when he does it again, turning to him and petting his head. He immediately starts purring at the attention from her, and your heart warms at the adorable sight of the mates. She places the clothes on the floor again as she kneels down to wrap her arms around Baekhyun’s neck much as she had done to you. “Can’t even handle being away from me for ten minutes.” She teases the wolf, in which he responds by nipping at her ear playfully and then moving down to nuzzle her stomach with a whine. The action stands out to you, especially with the way her heart skips a beat as she quickly brings his head up to kiss his nose. The way they look at each other tells you they’re hiding something, and you want to press but don’t, the ache in your joints quickly becoming too much to handle. Being a wolf doesn't mean you’re automatically used to extreme physical activities. Well, at least not when you were a Phi in your former pack.

 Phi are what you could call pup-sitters. They’re in charge of watching the pups and making sure that they stay safe and are taken care of. As aforementioned, you were one in your last pack, as was your sister. Well, she wasn’t originally. She became one after the birth of Chanhyeok. Your sister was originally an Epsilion, a guardian. She was one of the packs strongest, and she had been for years. When Chanhyeok was born though, she had decided to take a break. At first, she had said it would only last a year at most, but Chanhyeok was six years old now, and she still hasn't returned to her guardian duties. Not that she could now anyways. Baekhyun had been an Eta, a warrior. You’ve always said that Chanhyeok fiery personality came from his parents, and most would agree.

“James!” The shout from an unfamiliar voice of unfamiliar name catches your attention, and you turn to the source of it. You’re met with the sight of a she-wolf running your way, chasing after a pup. He looks to be no more than a few years older than Chanhyeok and has the same dark brown eyes as the adult chasing him. That leads you to believe she’s his mother, but she could also be his older sister. Your gut leads you to believe the latter conclusion though.

You hesitantly take a step back as the boy approaches you with wide eyes, wide eyes that seemed to be trained on your nephew who was somehow still fast asleep on your back. When he’s a few feet in front of you the pup slows down to a stop, his mouth open wide in amazement at the new wolf.

“You’re a really big she-wolf.” The unfiltered words leave his mouth quickly and you’re certain that if you were in your human form right now you would be beet red. You settle for flattening your ears against your head in embarrassment from the pups blunt words. “James Park!” Weslynn speaks up, her mother mode activating as she steps away from  Baekhyun to pick up the eight-year-old. The male decides to move to stand next to you instead, carefully nuzzling his pup’s side with all purr, and your eyes shine with amusement at the sight of the tough older brother-in-law you’d come to love turning to mush for his family. It was quite adorable, and you could only wish that your own mate would treat you and your pups the same. Baekhyun had set some pretty high standards. When your attention is drawn back to your sister you can see she is easily able to hold him on her hip as he whines in shame, nuzzling into her neck. “That’s not just something you say to anyone, that was incredibly rude.”

“Sorry Noona, I didn't mean to be rude.” The boy speaks up, leaning back to give Weslynn a pout. You know your sister and how weak she is when it comes to pups, so you’re not surprised when she coos at the sight, almost immediately forgetting how rude he had been to you. The She-wolf approaching clearly didn't as she walked over to your older sister. She crosses her arms and glares at the little boy and is clearly satisfied when he lets out a whimper, turning to smile apologetically at you.

“I’m so sorry about him, I don’t know where he gets that bluntness from. It’s certainly not from me or his father.””It’s probably from Yoongi.” Weslynn mumbles, causing the she-wolf to snort before composing herself. You nod in acknowledgment of her apology, the swish of your tail indicating to her you had accepted it. Your suspicion of her being his mother is almost confirmed with the way she talks about the pup, but you’re still not quick to assume. “I’m Allysson Park, but I’d rather you call me Ally.” She continues to speak, her brown eyes shining almost as bright as her smile. She’s an animated wolf, very energetic. Her hands gesture with almost every word she speaks. “I’m the first Beta along with my Mate Jimin, and from what I’ve heard you’re Weslynn’s baby sister.” You let out a snort when she calls you the baby sister but nonetheless nods in agreement, which causes her to laugh. It’s a nice laugh, as impressive as her hand gestures as she throws her head back to the sky and laughs loudly. It’s shouldn’t have been that funny, but the confident way she carries herself, the warm and welcoming energy she was emitting, it made you want to laugh with her. Her likableness made sense, you had a feeling her being so approachable made her a great Beta.

To only add to her appeal, she was a very pretty she-wolf. In fact, she looked more like your older sister than you did. Seeing them standing next to each other made it extremely obvious. They’re relatively the same height, and their hair is similar shades of dark brown, Their eyes were almost identical. If Weslynn wasn’t your sister, you would’ve mistaken her for Allysson’s.

“I’m assuming there is a reason you came here quickly without any warning, but I think it can wait. You look terribly tired, so follow me to the pack house. You can rest in one of our spare rooms.” Her kindness warms your insides and you can do nothing to stop the wagging of your tail weakly at the mention of rest. She grins brightly again at your clear agreement and moves to start walking in the direction she comes from. Weslynn is quick to follow her, James still on her hip. Baekhyun stops for a moment to pick up the long-forgotten pile of clothes his mate had brought for the two of you. He secures them in his jaw before moving to pad alongside you. You’re sure you’ll change into those when you arrive at the house. “I doubt my mate won’t want to meet you, so in reality, you can’t rest until you're at least met him.” She falters in her step for a second, clearly feeling guilty for a reason you can’t decipher. She’s offering you a place to rest with only the condition of meeting her mate first. You growl softly in agreement, hoping to convey to the Beta that you have no problems with meeting her mate, and she seems to visibly relax at the sound, her steps becoming confident and quick again.

You take the time to admire the little town that the pack had established. The main road was littered with small shops as you entered the town, but the more you walked along the more important the buildings became. You found yourself walking by a school, a daycare, and clearly what were the homes of those of the highest statuses in the pack. You assumed that when the main round had a four-way intersection that it led to the houses of the lower pack members. The farther you walked down the street the more visibly impressive the houses became and when the road you were traveling turns into a cul-de-sac you know you’re close. The large house slowly comes into view, and you’re intimidated by the size. Your old pack was huge compared to the size of Chamdoen and yet their pack house alone made it seem like they housed hundreds. Allysson lets out a giggle at your awe, and turns to say something to you but your attention i was drawn the the large front door opening. The male that steps outside of the house you immediately recognize at Ally’s mate, not only by his smell but the way her heart skipped a beat when she smelled him. It was quite cute the way his eyes lit up at the sight of her, the way he immediately started walking towards her. When she meets him halfway he pulls her into his chest with a loud purr, one which she returns while nuzzling into him. Nothing beats the way mates look at each other, the pure love and adoration in the silver-haired male’s eyes as he looks down at his mate.

“Hey Baby.” He whispers to her, and the shy giggle that leaves her lips surprises you. The shyness she had developed was a stark contrast to the bubbly wolf you had met mere minutes ago. “Daddy!” James shouts, wiggling out of Weslynn’s arms to run over to his parents, hugging one leg of each as he giggles. He clearly gets his laughter from his mother. “There’s my boy!” Jimin says as he leans down to pick his son up and hold him to his chest with a laugh. The boy squeals in excitement as he is lifted up and continues to giggle as he settles in his father’s hold.  “You didn’t give mommy any trouble on  your walk did you?” He continues, the hand that wasn’t securing James against him coming to rest on the small of Allysson’s back to keep her close to him. The boy’s giggling abruptly stops, which causes the Beta to raise an eyebrow and look to his mate. She lets out a huff, finally speaking up and glaring slightly at her now pouting son. “Your little angel decided to not only run away from me but to then be rude to our guest.” Jimin seems to be hesitant to scold his pouting son and dramatically sighs when his mate gives him the same pout. Your repress the urge to snort at the interaction in amusement. “James, you know not to run away from mommy like that. You should especially never be rude to a guest, that’s not a quality of a good Beta…” Jimin says, obviously striking a chord in his son when he mentions being a beta.   The boy's eyes widen in realization and he nods furiously, a spark lighting in his eyes as he speaks.”I’m sorry Daddy! It won’t happen again.” Jimin nods, but one look at Allysson’s still pouting face has him turning back to his son, “And.” The boy sighs dramatically, clearly mimicking what his father had done, and Jimin visibly has to hold back a laugh at the sight. He quickly composes himself, clearing his throat which finally causes James to speak again. “I’m sorry Mommy.” The boy finishes his apology by kissing the side of Ally’s head, which causes her to beam at her boys, wrapping her arms around Jimin’s waist with a soft purr. Her happiness clearly effects her mate’s as he grins brightly, nodding at his son who sports an identical smile. They truly are an adorable family.

His attention turns to you with both his maate and Pup happy in his arms, and he smiles warmly at you. His smile is adorable, his cheeks bright pink and his eyes forming crescents. “I’m Jimin Park, First Beta. You’re Weslynn’s little sister, correct?” You nod at his statement, bowing your head lightly in greeting. He chuckles at your formality, waving it off as you raise your head to meet his eyes again. “No need to be so formal. You're already an honorary pack member. You’re welcome to stay in a guest room of ours to rest as long as you like.” He says, slowly moving back towards the door he had come out of. “My only request is that when you are well rested, you give everyone the answers to the questions we have yet to ask you.” Despite the serious tone of his voice, his face still held the warm smile it had when he first introduced himself. It put you at ease as you followed him and everyone else into the house.

You don’t really pay much attention to where you’re going, trusting that your nose will be able to guide you to someone when you finally have rested enough. Your sister leaves you in the room with the pile of the extra clothes she had originally bought for you on the bed. Baekhyun coming in shortly after in human form again(and clothed) to take their pup off of your hands, well, back really. They both trusted you to tell them what had happened tomorrow, so they left you with kisses on the forehead and whispered ‘goodnight’s after you had used the bathroom to turn back, and changed into the clothes. The exhaustion had truly finally caught up to you, and you quickly fell into the bed, the warm sheets helping to welcome slumber. The only thing you you can remember before you fall asleep is the scent of the forest and baby powder drifting into your nose and causing your wolf to purr in content in your mind, right before you drifted off.

A/N: Yes it is extremely slow burn but i promiseee its worth it. I have a whole universe imagined for this series and there is a reason you haven’t seen Jungkook yet. Feel free to ask about it through my ask box heheh

If you guys like this enough maybe I’ll do little spin offs with different boys.

Yes also there are Oc’s in this. You can only have so many kpop idols in a story before its too much. I already had BTS and EXO I didn’t want to add any more. SO yes there are a bunch of OCs but it’s a wolf pack it needed to be large. SUE ME. Also expect some lowekey Taehyung x Iz next chapter(THIS IS FOR IZZY IF YOU”RE READING)

[highlynerdy]

#myheart is SO messed up right now #i long for love #im in pain for them #the beauty and tragedy of them #in both show and novel god ;-; #to meet your lover you've lost milenia ago. for him to not recognize you. but be ALIVE #for him to fall in love with you. cherish you. want you protected and safe when no one else cares for you like THIS. #for him to fear you'll be lost. for you to know one day he meets you in the past - and he might never come back. might die then #you know this may be finite. you know you may never see him again in this present. #then you're him. you go to the past and see. see that this love is finite and it starts here #with you already seeing the WORLD in him. seeing the worth the goodness. the indescribably wonderful person you are. and knowing it might #end here. it will end for him for centuries. and when he finds you again it will still come back to ending here in the past. you're in agony #you want to give him a future a house #you want the world to be with him. and you know you cant give it. cant give it now or later in his future. #its agony. you try to give him it now anyway. #then you make it back. having abandoned him but realized you still come back to him in the present #and you're both together. #and then you both end. because shen wei tries to handle it alone (to spare losing you). but you lose him. so you lose yourself too. because #its time. its been finite for centuries. now you two decide the end. and so you end too #and you see him in the infinite beyond life and death. and you see him cry. and you just want to hold him again #and he bets you that you will meet again. and you hold this in your entire heart #because you two have been finite forever. always locked in an ending. even when you thought you #d gotten free of it. but now maybe there's no new beginning. you don't care anyway. because you have to believe him #you have to find him again. you know you will. you love him too much to fail to give him #a future with the both of you now. not after this long finite loop of never being  able to. #and so there's hope

...damn. Wow. Thanks @mejomonster for adding some serious angst flavor to my edit. It was painful and beautiful and I need to share it with everyone. But first I need a handkerchief...

I’ll be late, but I could make it all up to you. And I’ll count down the days, don’t say you wouldn’t too.