#anyway. if youre doing this maybe reconsider your actions

[elipheleh]

advance warning im going to be complaining about behaviour of some people on rwrb twitter and crossing lines and/or parasocial relationships so. feel free to skip. its also not super concise/coherent because im tired and annoyed.

tl;dr - the actors are strangers. you cannot joke about with them on social media in ways you would joke with your friend. they do not know you. you do not know them.

under a cut because it’s a bit long & i’m tagging it so i don’t want to clog the tags.

—

theres a certain group of people that i see on rwrbtwt who act in a kind of… invasive parasocial way specifically towards nick galitzine and it’s getting really frustrating. (it’s plausible its also at taylor zakhar perez but im not seeing that personally so i can’t say.)

it’s things like screenshotting his old tweets & posting them and tagging him in the tweets where they’re joking about it. and then when he deletes the tweet they call that out & laugh about it or cry about it because from their pov it was innocuous, but they laughed at it and drew attention to it. not because they want to be cruel but because they would do similar with friends (where it would be okay, depending) and have a parasocial relationship with him that makes them think its okay to act similarly.

the most recent one was posting screenshots of accounts in his insta following & not necessarily mocking him for it, but being overly familiar about it (very easily could be read as mocking though especially if you’re sensitive about it). then they are drawing attention to him unfollowing the accounts, which was likely because he’d seen the tweets because they continue to tag him in stuff. they laugh about it and don’t see it as a bad thing but are crowing about getting noticed & getting him to do something. they’re proud of it and of it being proof he’s lurking on social media. and not seeing that they’re why he’s lurking and not posting stuff.

—

quite frankly, it’s invasive and gross behaviour. i expect they would find it incredibly weird if a stranger went through to find tweets they made 5 or so years ago & then screenshot and sent it to them. why is it okay because he’s a celeb? they’re quick to talk about how you shouldn’t talk about certain things just bc they’re famous but will be fine about doing this.

i think the worst thing is they have talked about how nice it is nick has openly talked about his mental health & anxiety struggles and then do this kind of thing with absolutely no regard for how it might be affecting him. i know i would be finding it very difficult not to delete all my past tweets if that was happening to me, i definitely wouldn’t be wanting to tweet more.

and it’s just conjecture, but the fact he’s deleting the tweets & unfollowing the accounts makes it look like it is affecting him. they’re actively making social media an inhospitable place for him to be and then complaining he doesn’t tweet anymore, or that he’s rebranding/archiving insta posts.

if you really want to act like that, which is your choice, dont do it publicly. do it on private accounts, in a groupchat, in a private forum. if you’re determined to get validation from the numbers going up, don’t tag nick in your posts. let him avoid stuff.

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

SO MUCH FOR A BREAKUP

Pairing - Jackson Rippner x fem!reader

Summary - You broke up with Jackson because you felt like you didn't know him, thinking he took it well was a mistake.

Warnings - 18+, noncon, smut.

Word Count - 1.3k

Break ups were shit. You’ve been through a couple, but this one was different. Because this time it was you breaking up with your boyfriend. It’s not that you fell out of love, or anything dramatic (you still loved him very much). You just felt like you didn’t know who Jackson really was. Nevertheless, Jackson was dreamy. He was obliging, supportive and protective of you. But you just didn’t know as much as you wanted to know about him, his story didn’t seem to add up at times, tampering with your trust with him. You wanted to believe him, more than anything, because you were in love with him, but he wasn’t honest with you. It became a dealbreaker, you gave him a couple of chances but he just seemed to go unphased by them. 

The break up however, went unusually good from a third party perspective. If anything, you were the one in shock. He just politely smiled, nodded and wished you all the best. Was he even upset by this? Did he even love you like he claimed? A lot came into your mind, but after your final apology, the last thing he said to you was eerie, “sure”. 

Anyways, your few days of misery must end. You’ll have a nice warm shower, have a blissful sleep and then tomorrow you’ll take your life off hold. Maybe even message Jackson during the week to see how he is doing, no, scratch that, it’s better if you don’t. 

You turn on the hot water and strip till you’re completely naked. Staring at yourself in the flogging mirror, you let out a loud sigh, you’ve been feeling so insecure with yourself recently. 

“God, I’ve missed this view,” Jackson grinned, appearing against the doorframe.

You shrieked as you spun around and covered your body from him with your arms. When you realised it was your ex, it lowered your horror only to a fraction of an extent. “Wh-what are you doing here!” You cried as you backed into the corner. Shivers ran down your spine as you pressed yourself against the cold counter.  

“Baby, I’ve seen you naked countless of times, why hide yourself now?” he chuckled as he slowly walked towards you. 

“H-how did you get in?” you stuttered, unable to keep eye contact. 

A shrug of the shoulders, “never asked me for the key back”.

“And why are you here?” You gulped, arms still covering your body. 

He stood right in front of you, grabbed onto your arms and forced them to your sides. “Because I had time to think” he sighed, caressing your tits. You felt your body submit to his touch, you missed him. Maybe he’s finally reconsidered how he’s acted, regardless, this isn’t the action you’d take. 

But then you cried out as your lower back was pushed against the counter, his hand tightened around your throat. You tried to break the hold, but it was no use. 

“Fuck baby, why did you have to break my heart?” Jackson pouted, watching you gasp for air. “I really liked playing house with you. It was such a stress reliever from work. But you just wanted to try to fuck that up for me, huh?” Jackson exhaled as he dragged you by the throat to the shower. “Maybe we can clean the brattiness off!” he exclaimed.

Forced into the shower, you gasped for air as you curled up against the cold tiles. Jackson quickly stripped down his suit and jumped into the shower with you. You’re pulled into Jackson as he grinned down at you. 

“Why did you have to hurt me like that?” he asked softly, kissing your neck. 

“I-I told you-” you sobbed, hands pressed against his chest, the water hiding your tears. 

“Yeah, kinda selfish, I don’t get how my work life interfered with us. Fuck, you didn’t think I was out fucking whores did you?” Jackson laughed. That thought did cross your mind more than once. He’s always on business trips, what else were you meant to think. 

You’re flipped around and chest pressed into the tiles. Stroking himself a couple of times, he allied his tip with your entrance. Usually he’d give a bit of foreplay to warm you up, but the water will just have to do as lube tonight. With one forceful push, Jackson groaned in relief, you didn’t react the same. 

“How could you possibly want to break up with my cock? You love my big, fat, fucking cock” he said smugly, thrusting in and out as you wailed. Jackson smirked as he felt you squeeze against him, “your pussy wraps around my dick perfectly, we both know this!” Jackson chortled.

It was terrifying, this wasn’t the Jackson you knew. The sweet, caring, charismatic man you fell in love with was gone. This was the sinister reality he wanted to protect you from. The vague words, rough touch and lack of respect. He didn’t care that he was hurting you, he didn’t care that he was physically assaulting you. 

The grip on your hips will leave a bruise. Shower sex could be difficult, it was hard to hold onto anything. So you really had to depend on your balance by how hard Jackson was pounding into you. With every pound, his balls smacked against your clit. You could only hold out for so much longer. Whimpering like crazy, you tried to hold in your tears as Jackson grunted and mumbled under his breath with your walls pulsing like crazy around him. 

Fear and dignity made you not want to come for him. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough, you clenched around him, back arched, seeing stars, moaning loud as you came hard. Jackson lent forward and wrapped his arm around your upper body to pull you back. “Did I say you could come? You filthy slut” Jackson spat by your ear, still inside of you as you’re still feeling the after waves of your orgasm. “Next time, ask for my permission” he threatened as you’re forced down to your knees. 

He slapped your face with his cock, gesturing for you to open wide. Hesitantly, you did so. Jackson echoed a slow groan as he pushed his full length down your throat. It was hard not to gag on him, but that just made him moan in return. 

“Have you told anyone of our so-called break up?” Jackson questioned in a mocking tone, as if he didn’t already know the answer and as if you could reply. He held onto the back of your head as you gently shook your head around his cock. You just wanted to spend this time alone to grieve. “Aw, see? You didn’t even want us to break up. Just some typical female hormones right?” he condescended, pushing so deep that his balls pressed against your chin. 

You nails dug into the back of his thighs as he fucked your mouth. His breathing got heavy and cock twitched in your mouth. You knew he was going to explode at any moment. “I should be coming in your cunt, getting you all pregnant and shit so you can never think about leaving me again” Jackson grunted, his fingers yanking at your hair roots as he thrusted in your mouth. 

Your moans and cries only sent sweet sensations down his cock. Your nails drew blood and it was so hard to keep your mouth open for him. If his dick wasn’t so far down your throat, he’d be able to make out your pleads and sobs. It was only a wonder if your jaw or cunt would be aching more in the morning. With a harsh moan, his seed spurted out down your throat, he held your head still with his cock buried down your throat. Eyes squinted shut, you tried your hardest to breathe through your nose. 

Eventually, Jackson let go of your head and slowly pulled himself out of your mouth. Turning off the shower, he sighed and gently helped you to stand up. Still being a crying mess, you whimpered against his touch and refused to make eye contact. 

Jackson placed his fingers underneath your chin and directed you to look at him, “well, I suppose it’s time for you to get to know the real me”.

[bedoballoons]

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

{༻~They said something they didn't mean~༺}

A/n: Angsty! Hurtful things said, tons of apologies and crying! No comfort in the end.. Sorry :p

Requests/asks open!!

(Includes: Diluc, Albedo, Alhaitham, Xiao and Scaramouche)

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𑁍༄Diluc:

You could tell Diluc was annoyed, his hands clenched into tight fists and his face red with anger, his eyes had a rage behind them you'd never seen before...and it kinda scared you. You internally contemplated wether it would be better to leave him be or ask if he needed anything...but sadly...you didn't get the chance to decide.

"Are you just going to stare?" His voice held such a hurtful tone and it made you wonder if you'd been standing there longer than you thought..."I-" You tried but he shot you a look that instantly made you go quiet, "Just leave me alone. I don't need you bothering me right now, I deal with that enough already." His words struck you so harshly, it was like you'd just been slapped in the face...tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

It only took him a split second to realize what he said and instantly afterwords he started to apologize, "Oh no...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that. You're not bothersome...I-"

𑁍༄Albedo:

Albedo was busy working away in his lab, writing down the various answers of his experiments and perfecting his craft as per usual. Him being busy though wasn't really anything new to you, usually when he found a particularly interesting answer to something he'd get engrossed in it for a long time and you'd usually have to bring him food cause he's forget to eat, and wrap a blanket around him just in case he got cold.

He always seemed to appreciate the thought in your actions...today however he seemed frustrated with them, when you brought him food he said he wasn't hungry and when you attempted to cover him up with a blanket, he shrugged it off, letting it fall onto the ground. You were just about to leave the lab, let him be since that seemed to be what he wanted...when he snapped at you. "Could you please just get out of my way, I have very important things I'm working on and you're not helping."

You went completely silent at his words...all you had tried to do was take care of him like usual...you hadn't meant to get in the way of anything. You felt your eyes watering and quickly muttered a apology, "I'm sorry...I'll get out of your way."

Albedos head shot up as you spoke, realizing not only what you had just said...but how hurtful his own words had been, guilt instantly filled him as he attempted to stop you from leaving. "Wait no...I didn't mean...you're not in my way. I was just busy and I hadn't realised what I said, I'm so sorry, please dont leave...don't go..."

𑁍༄Alhaitham:

Alhaitham was incredibly intelligent, there was zero argument about that and honestly it amazed you, most of the time. Sometimes he'd unintentionally make you feel...like you weren't smart enough and it wasn't like he had tried to on purpose...it was just the way his words had sounded. You have always tried your best to not take it personally...but on a bad day, sometimes it was inevitable.

"Alhaitham? You need anything? Can I help at all?" You asked him, his eyes concentrated on a book about the akademiyas history and his mind deep in thought, to the point you weren't even sure he had heard you, so you asked again. "Alhaithamm? Do you want anything? Is there anyway I can help youuu?" This time you got his attention, his eyes shifting to you with a look of pure annoyance.

"I heard you the first time, I just didn't answer. This isn't something you'd understand, not unless you've doubled your IQ over night...and no I don't need anything." You stepped back, feeling hurt by his words, more than you had in a long time..."I'm sorry...you didn't answer so I thought maybe you hadn't heard me..." You felt so small as you spoke...so stupid...

His eyes narrowed at the sight of your unhappiness, reconsidering what he said but not truly understanding what he had said wrong "My apologies...I've upset you again..."

𑁍༄Xiao:

You knew Xiao would always protect you, honestly it seemed even if you got a paper cut he'd attempt to shred the paper to pieces, making it so it couldn't hurt you again. Obviously, from that alone, he could be a little...over protective. Which wasn't really a bad thing untill he started to worry about hurting you himself, wether it was by his charmic debt or loosing control of his own being, the idea ate at him, to the point it was becoming problematic.

"Xiao calm down, your charmic debt has never really affected me before and I have my full faith in you...you're not going to hurt me. I know that... please you should know that too." You spoke in a soft tone, trying your best to comfort your boyfriend who continued to inch away from you... as if he would hurt you just from being near you. "I want to...I want to know that I'd never hurt you, but I can't. I'm unable to control myself and if anything ever happened to you..because of me, I'd never be able to forgive myself." He was deep in despair and you wanted so badly to comfort him, so you took a step closer.

"Xiao..." You sighed, reaching your hand out to him, but he pulled away, "Don't. Maybe it would be better for you to just...go away." His words knocked the wind out of you, it was like the air had suddenly become unbreathable...he didn't mean that did he? "What..." His eyes met yours and for a split second it was like he wanted to take it back...but he couldn't. "Leave."

𑁍༄Scaramouche:

(I use the nickname Scara here ^-^)

You looked into Scaramouches eyes, your own anger not coming close to the rage he was feeling, but you were used to this, the two of you would argue, with him acting ruder than usual, but you always made up in the end. "Scara just admit you were wrong okay! Once you do, we can end our argument and get back to work!" You already felt tired of yelling, it had barely been two minutes and you wanted so desperately for it to stop.

"I wasn't wrong and I'm still not! Love isn't a real thing, it's a idea people tell themselves is real because they don't want to feel alone!" His words annoyed you, if what the two of you had wasn't love then what was it?? "But you love me! So obviously that's a bold faced lie!" Your heart was racing, what would he say next? If he said the wrong thing...would you two not be able to make up?

"I don't love you, honestly how could I when you're just a mortal and I have the power of a god!" And just like that all your fight left you...he said it...he said he didn't love you and it broke your heart..."I-" You started, but your voice cracked and despite trying to keep strong, tears threatened to fall from your eyes.

Scara watched you intently, wondering if he'd went to far...his face softened and he stepped towards you, "I didn't mean that...", but you didn't want to listen. You looked away from him, moving backwards so he was farther away from you. "Shit....I'm sorry...I love you..I promise I..."

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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚Have a nice day!*⁠.⁠✧

[apocalypse-shuffle]

RED HOOD | BATFAMILY (assorted canon)

—

“Long Overdue” (Jason Todd & Batmom!Reader) and (background Bruce Wayne x Batmom!Reader)

| Reader was with Bruce in the past but grew distant after Jason’s death. No one tells her when he comes back from the dead until Bruce is forced to bring her in on a raid when they’re overwhelmed. -Jason and Batmom!Reader reunion.

| SFW, canon typical action/violence, cursing?, crying?

| This is like half fanon half UTRH/Batman:Hush. I’m really just fucking around with canon rn. Also the pictures used are just for aesthetics and have no contextual meaning to the story. (pic source - Batman: Three Jokers comic)

| 2k+ words

| parts: one, spurt, two, three, four, five, six/six point five, seven.

Ma. God, no one called you that anymore. The way your eyes begin to prickle is a clear indication.

With you Dick wasn’t the type. Once he’d worked himself up to it he’d called you mom; slightly different from the few ways he referred to his bio mother, but something shared between the two of you all the same.

And Tim? Well he wasn’t your child plain and simple. Tim still had his parents for one, and for two he was intrinsically Bruce’s. By the time he’d figured his way into the Batcave you’d been gone, most of your shit moved out of the manor, and desperately waving divorce papers Bruce refused to acknowledge in the air. You didn’t have anything to do with his indoctrination outside of exactly one instance of him finding you to ask if you’d reconsider the separation. Some Batman needed a Robin and Bruce Wayne needed his wife type shit.

Either way Tim didn’t call you any rendition of mom because you weren’t his. The most you got was him addressing you by your maiden name and then eventually your first and you were content with that.

Then if he didn’t call you mom, the girls sure as hell didn’t either. Outside of Barbara the others never even became regular conversation partners. Cass was a rare sighting in your life and Stephanie and you’s relationship would never progress past the casual advocacy you tried giving her because she was another dead Robin to add to what’s now technically a list.

At the end of the day, out of all the people who considered you a mother, only Jason added that ‘a’ and you wanted to grip that name tight and hold it to you. Break your ribs open and force it into your chest cavity. The need to fulfill that ache cuts deep and you take a step forward.

Jason startles though, undoing all his own forward progress, and you falter. That’s right. Jason didn’t like for people to touch him. Definitely didn’t like hugs either. Not surprise ones at least. Before his death you’d gotten close enough he didn’t mind when you swooped in, but now?

“Can I-? Can I hug you?” You press trembling lips together for another horrible swallow. “Please…?”

Jason jerks, two hastily aborted movements at once, before his obstructed voice meets your ears.

“Fine.”

You practically fall on him before pulling him into you. Unfortunately he’s just as stiff as his voice and you have to take a second to figure out how to slot against him.

Jason fits in your arms differently than he used to - broader and taller by a mile - but after a few beats he relaxes into them just the same. The subtle addition of weight makes a sob bubble up your throat.

You rap your knuckles on the side of the helmet.

“Take this shit off.”

He hesitates and a sharp pang manages to worm its way into the already shitty cocktail of emotions you’re feeling. It hits your spine like lightning, forces you up and has you an arms length away in half an inhale.

Maybe before now you’d been going through too much all at once for the trepidation to hit, but it was hitting now. You’d never seen Hood without- well without the Hood. Only Jumbie raised from the dead the way Jason did, and while you’d take your son anyway you could get him you wouldn’t accept some Thing parading around in his skin.

Reading your burst of movement for what it is, Jason backtracks, rising arms dropping to his sides. “Maybe I shouldn’t…”

“Jason Peter-” you inhale deeply, catching yourself, and hold a hand up to stop him. You both ignore the obvious way it trembles. “-only… if…if you want to. I’m not trying to force anything.”

He’s slow to nod, weight shifting from his left to his right leg and back again before he says something too low for you to hear. You’re about to ask him to repeat when he speaks up, this time aiming his voice somewhere around your shoulder while bowing his head.

“No, I- Alright. Just hold on.”

Haunches suitably raised and heart in your throat you pay close attention as the helmet comes up, Jason having released some catch in the back.

It goes over, the helmet clatters to the ground, and the man who stares back at you is…hard to place.

The low fluorescent lighting of the narrow room combined with the concrete walls casts soft enough shadows over his face that while his features are warped they’re not discernible. Which means you can’t completely rule out the uncanniness wafting off of him as just your brain (along with your entire perception of the universe) splinting in half.

It makes your face heat up. He looks familiar, but you can’t say you wouldn’t have passed him straight if you’d seen him on the street. He’s too big for one, even for how you’d all imagined he’d look grown up, standing more than a foot taller than the last day you saw him. Taller than malnourishment would’ve ever let him be.

The sob you let out makes you both flinch.

One hand snaps to your mouth, the other waving him off.

“I’m sorry I- I don’t-. This is just-”

Even with the way he’s leaning away from you he shakes his head. “I get it, it's fine.”

His voice is faint, cut up and hoarse like he hasn’t used it in a while, and it’s the prettiest thing you’ve heard in ages.

“Oh,” you laugh. The wet kind that makes your throat sticky. You can only stare at him, blurry form and all, words lost to you.

Eventually, after watching your fervent effort to wipe away tears that are in no way inclined to give you a break, arms crossed Jason takes a half step forward with a shrug.

“We can…try again?”

The next little laugh you let out you practically choke on but you nod all the same.

When Jason’s the first to move your heart starts speeding away like an overexcited middle school drumline. You roll with it though, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes so they’re dry enough for you to actually see him clearly for a few seconds.

When he’s directly in front of you your hands come up slowly, giving him plenty of opportunity to move away. Or maybe to vanish.

When he does neither, only giving you a guarded look, you allow yourself to touch.

Problem is, the domino mask he’s wearing very quickly gets in your way and on your nerves when you move to frame his face. Quickly feels like if it’s not gone, if you can’t see his eyes, you’ll throw up.

To stop yourself from taking the risk and ripping it off you have to take a deep breath. Have to force down the thick build up of saliva gathering in your mouth so it pushes back the bile climbing up your throat.

“I’d like to see my son, Jason. All of you.”

To emphasize your point you tap the tip of your nail against the mask. There’s no intention on your part to cross his boundary but Jason’s hands snap up to hold onto your wrists all the same.

You look into the white lenses of his domino, fingers buzzing along the corner of the mask closest to them. His mouth twists into a frown.

“Please?”

You beg with the same ferocity a grieving mother once used when begging for her child back.

“You’re asking for a lot.”

He lets go and he takes a couple steps back and you don’t cry.

No, instead you swing your hands behind you. Clasping them together in a poor attempt to stop the buzzing sensation that travels from the tips of your fingers to take over your entire hand.

“Mmm,” you incline your head. “Well. I did help a boy get over first date jitters with a made up song once. Let that same boy talk me through an entire dissertations’ worth of his analysis of Their Eyes Were Watching God - as choppy as it was - because TWMS wouldn’t allow him to present it in class. Let him skip going to that same school and cry to me for hours after the death of Gloria Stanson. Remember a knife hidden in the corner on the highest shelf in his closet, and I remember not revealing any of that when I gave his eulogy because he once asked me to keep the important things between the two of us. So you don’t have to show me, but I think I make a pretty good qualifier when it comes to keeping this safe.”

You point straight to where his heart is tucked safely behind layers of gray armor before shrugging.

From the way his brows furrow over the domino you know he’s at least thinking about it so you step away to pick up your disregarded mask and stuff it in your waistband.

One blink. Six.

“You remember Rena?”

In front of him again, you rock back on your heels. “Mhm. And the ‘how to tie a tie’ lessons me and Bruce walked you through even though you didn’t wear a suit to that date. Remember that too.”

Jason’s smile is crooked on his face but it’s nonetheless present as he makes a noise of agreement.

“I’d just wanted to spend time with you two, I was never planning on wearing a suit to go to the skating rink.”

“We figured.”

You’re rolling onto the balls of your feet when that small smile drops and he shakes his head.

“I’m not that same boy anymore.”

You take in the way he could raise his hand and so easily touch the ceiling without having to jump. You clear the phlegm from your throat.

“I can tell.”

Jason grunts and makes a general gesture indicating something somewhere behind you.

“And I got no interest in trying to live up to whatever fucked up embalment Bruce’s got going on with my burnt suit in that case.”

That suit. Bruce’s memorial. His warning. Your breath hitches as you think of the smell of crisped blood and methanol. If Jason didn’t want to talk about it you sure as shit weren’t going to.

“I will one hundred percent take that into account.” You keep it simple, rocking on your heels again. He wasn’t asking for anything unreasonable so there wasn’t really any debate to be had. “You wanna be treated as you are? I can do that.”

Moments pass once you’ve said your peace where Jason does nothing but stare at you. The only indication he’s at all alive being his shoulders still moving - and you are watching. Eyeing that tell tale up and down like your own life will end at its falter. The pattern is slow enough to come off as pacivity but the time between each rise and fall is too measured to be uncontrolled. Exactly three point eleven seconds one way and three point eleven seconds the other. Every time.

Then he sighs, curses, and the little veil of dissolvent for the adhesive that adheres the mask to his face is in his hand. A different vial and color than when he was Robin; you don’t know why you thought it’d be the same. Or why it makes your heart clench that it’s not.

Between one thrum of the fluorescent lights and the next Jason is peeling away the domino, and you would be lying if you claimed to know where it disappeared to after that. Too caught up on what he’d been hiding to track it.

Blue. Nothing more and nothing less. Just blessedly familiar, vibrant blue. Not the dull gray they’d become by the time you were given the chance to put a gruesome sight of a child six feet under.

The “Oh wow,” tumbles from you without permission and then there’s zero hope for the waterworks you’d been holding back. The levee fails and you’re bawling before you know it. Barely holding back snot and who knows what else since you already feel like screaming.

At that point there’s no carefully thought out sentence for you to spew, no more hesitancy, no more measured breathing, and linear thought. Just the crushing need to have him close to you again.

You’re rushing forward before you know.

Wrapping your arms around Jason the next go around is both the best and the worst thing. You accommodate his new size faster, already writing over the ways he used to fit against you with the ways he does so now, but he’s still so stiff and he’s not reciprocating the hug either.

Maybe you should let go. You crossed the boundary too fast. Were too reckless. You literally have training on this and now you’re crowding him.

Okay, you’re pulling away. It’s a herculean effort but you’re forcing your arms from around his middle. You’ve got to, you don’t want to scare him off. Not when you just got him back.

There’s a soft “Not yet,” mumbled into your shoulder and then arms finally come around yours and you don’t hesitate to snap your own back into place.

He’s hugging you back.

You cry a little harder and bring one of your arms up to drape across his shoulders, pulling him closer. When you start rocking and Jason copies your momentum you press a kiss onto his temple.

“Hi,” you stutter out. Another sob. “Hi baby.”

Since he’s finally letting his arms wrap around you you don’t hesitate to run dark fingers through the truly unruly mass of black curls on his head. His hairs’ damp - most likely from sweat - but cool. Probably being tempered by the cold air blowing into the room.

It’s when you press a kiss to his forehead that you feel something else wet and your breath stutters.

“It’s okay. I got you, everything’s okay,” you whisper.

“God Ma-” his voice cracks and then you can hear the sobs he’s trying to muffle into your suit. “No it’s not.”

“I know,” you sob. “I’m sorry- so so fucking sorry.”

You sniffle and pull away to see him better. Jason’s face is flushed, his eyes wet, and cheeks streaked with tears shed. You hold your hands up to frame his face for a second time and run your thumbs through the tear tracks. His chest heaves as his body tries to regulate his breathing.

Jason clears his throat, gaze boring into yours. “Hi,” he says.

You smile, finally beginning to map out his face. First you move to frame his cheeks, too feel the warmth in them. To see if they still feel familiar. They don’t; you force yourself to accept that fact without letting it show in your expression, letting out a measured exhale before continuing. You find his jaw is more defined now too, cheeks devoid of the baby fat of five years prior.

From then on brushing your thumbs along his brows, over the bridge of his nose, traveling over his ears and skirting around his hairline - it all fills your mind with incoherent cheers.

Your thumbs hover over Jason’s eyes and you hum when he closes them for you.

The skin underneath your shaved off pads is soft. The thin layer of protection allows you to feel how his eyeballs shift, to see the way his veins show stark under light skin, to clock the life thrumming through him.

It makes your heart feel so goddamn light. You can’t stop smiling at the sight of him. Eyes still wet but clear.

“I feel like such a horrible mother,” you hiccup, hands slide down so you can once again cup his face. “I barely recognize you.”

Jason’s breathing shakes nearly in tandem with yours and his eyes squeeze tighter shut, head turning away.

“Don’t.” He takes a second to look up. Look right through you. Lashes wet and glassy eyes open, voice grating over his next words. “Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame any of you for that, but especially not you.”

What you want to do is argue. You should’ve never let him put on that suit in the first place, one fucked up son should’ve been the end of it. You should’ve dropped the case you were working the second you’d heard he’d run away and you should’ve found him. Instead you keep your thoughts personal, pinning them to your brain as if it’s a cushion so that you’ll never forget, and pull your son closer. An action which he allows, resting his head on your shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re back,” you whisper into his hair. The way he instantly shakes his head makes the cool strands tickle your jawline.

“You can’t mean that.”

“If I didn’t mean it I wouldn’t have said it, Jay.”

Jason tenses before responding, words spewing without warning.

“Yeah except I’ve killed people, and I don’t regret it, and Bruce hates that - and you probably do too - but his way isn’t good enough. The people in this city deserve better so I’m doing what’s necessary-”

And that has you bristling. He must notice too because he stops short and edges away, face steeping. Caught somewhere between wanting to leave and wanting to fully kick start an argument.

…TBC

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed! I had to split this bitch in two cause it was 5,000+ words and I’m not in the business of under-indulging myself.

Listen, I’ve looked into it. Every mother/mother figure Jason’s ever had he’s referred to as “Mom”, but me personally, I didn’t grow up addressing my own mother that way so I wanted to play around with “Ma” (differentiate a little). What's funny though, is that I’ve read Dick referring to his mother as both “Ma” and “Mom” so that’s fun.

• TWMS = Thomas Wayne Middle School

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it. this is a sideblog tho so I won’t respond.

Tagged: @aarinisreading, @niphredil-14, @mxtokko, @calsjack, @brunnetteiwik

[rainee-da]

Hello <3

Is it ok to request the "What they said when you're sleeping" but with the Divine Visionaries? Tysm!

🍀 The Talk When You Sleep [2]

CHARACTER ❥ Orter Mádl ⏳ / Sophina Biblia 📕 / Tsurara Halestone ❄️

W A R N I N G ⚠️ R13 for general fluff w/ slight angst as spice / Relationship HCS / BIG SPOILER!!!! / might be a bit too OOC for you.

O R T E R M Á D L ⏳

he opened the door to your bedroom and sighed loudly "Seriously? We're supposed to be at the office at 9 o'clock, and you're still sleeping in your bed? Your laziness is absolutely revolt-" he shook his head in annoyance and marched closer, but stopped abruptly as his hand hovers in the air "That eyebags... you must be staying up late again," he sighed and sit at the edge of your bed, thinking for a while "There's no urgency... I suppose it's fine to let you be for some more," his face is annoyed as he loosened the tie in his neck he looked up the window, his expression remained unchanged "Yesterday was quite frivolous, I didn't remember there was anything in particular happening... what made you stay up late?" he mumbled as he turned his head to watch your face "Are you overthinking again? Or is there something that I missed?" he frowned as he is thinking to himself, before sighing again "No matter... we'll just sleep together later at night so I can fix your sleep habit, should've done so for a long time anyway." he brushes your hair to the side with his finger, his frown softens slightly "Your expression is good, and your temperature is normal. At least you're not sick physically," his hand moves to stroke your cheek as he enjoys the silence for a while, his expression grows solemn as the deep thought overwhelms his mind "Every time I see you as innocent as this, I always wonder... Why do you want to be with someone like me?" his finger rubs your eyelids gently "I rarely said this to you, and I know I should, but... You're a smart person. You're strong, able to defend yourself when danger strikes. You also had good friends that cherish you," he tilted his head as he got immersed by your face "You're... a beauty, so beautiful that it made me wonder how many people felt envious when we made us official... And, most important of all," he paused as the word got caught up in his throat, he blinks rapidly to clear some of his senses "You're so altruistic, so kind... unlike me." he chuckled lowly "I don't even know how many people have died by my wands, for the sake of order," he sighed as he turned his eyes away to stare at the view outside the window "Order is made for a reason. I believe that as long as the order is properly maintained, there will be no more Alex in the world. No people would get hurt anymore... But," he paused "The whole incident with Innocent Zero made me reconsider those beliefs... But, if my actions all this time were wrong, " he paused, his face darkened "Wouldn't that make me.. a. criminal?" he sighed, rubbing his face wearily "No use thinking about that now. It only brings unnecessary questions that will hinder my rationality," his gaze shifted to you and his mouth formed into a thin smile "It's a new dawn, and the citizen will need to get used to the new order. A riot would be inevitable, and bringing the previous sense of normalcy would be a grueling task ahead for the Divine Visionaries. But," he leans in and gives your lips a chaste kiss "With you, I believe I'll do well—maybe even better than before." "𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙣𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙬."

S O P H I N A B I B L I A 📕

"Oh my, the way you sleep is so vulgar! This won't do," she hurriedly move to fix your sleeping position and remove her coat to put it over you "There, all better," she smiles in satisfaction as she move your head to put it over her lap "You really had no grace, sleeping during work hours like this... you're lucky I'm more pliable than Mr. Madl." she sighed and shake her head as she opened the book in her hand to starts reading "Well, I'm only this pliable towards you if I'm being honest. If Mr. Revol's the one who's doing this, I would've already cursed him so he would dance bare-naked in the courtyard," she coughed softly and hums to stop herself from laughing "That's... such a tasteless threats coming from me, I can't believe I just said that." she tried to focus on reading but her mind is wandering "Let's see... Didn't you promises me that you would never napped at work anymore? So I think a punisment should be in order, no?" the thoughts in her head brings subtle-yet mischievous smile in her stoic face "What if, you have to cook dinner for a week? Or maybe I'll make you read one of my books? That's not really a punishment though," she tapped her chin as she's thinking "Or, I could also punish you," she leaned closer and blow into your ear "Like this? Fufu, you're so cute when you're wincing like that." she sighed and close the book to put it on the side, and her hand moves to brush your hair gently "You bring out sides of me that I never thought I have..." a soft smile formed on her face "For example... I never thought that feeling your hair against my fingertips like this could be so addicting," she lightly pinched the tip of your nose, and giggles at your reaction "Or that teasing you would be so much fun? Your reaction is so lively, it's never boring to be around you," she sighed and close her eyes as she lost in her own thoughts "Being with you has become one of my hobbies... Fresh scent of new book will never compare to the scent of your fragnance, and reading become a chores if you're not by my side," she smiles dreamily, slowly getting sleepy "Your influence is kaleidoscope of color in my life, I never thought that something as abstract as you would be so enjoyable... Really, I would trade everything in the world, if it means we could always be together like this," her hand lied in your chest as she slowly dozed off "𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 '𝙤𝙪𝙧' 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮, 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧"

T S U R A R A H A L E S T O N E ❄️

"Brrrr…. oh, you're asleep?" she lowered her hand from her mouth, her body shakes slightly "I guess you've been waiting for long… I'm sorry," she walked towards you, her face expresses remorse "I should woke you up, don't I? But… brrrr…. let me use your body to warm up first��� You don't mind, right?" she lied beside your sleeping figure, and snuggle closer to your side "Hehe… your body is so warm," she smiles dreamily as she hugs your body "I'm sorry that it took me so long to finish my work… I was getting in the zone with my research, and finally made some progress… But then," her gloved hand move towards your neck to rub it gently "The heater suddenly broke down… I have to waited for the mechanic to arrive, and I didn't realize that it was already this late" she sighed and closed her eyes, looking exhausted "I should've told you to go home early... I'm sorry that you have to wait for me." her body shakes again, and she lay her head on your chest "Brrrr... Why is it so cold," she lost in her own thought as she listen to your heartbeat, a soft smile formed in her face "Your heartbeat is steady, that's good... I always used your body as my warmer, and I know you said that you didn't mind that one bit... " she blushes and shyly buried her face to your neck "... But I hope you're not forcing yourself... My magic made my body cold, I didn't want you to get sick because of me." she stumbles as she risen up, her smile is warm and her hand is stroking your cheek "I think soon enough I can make some potion that will help keep my body warm temporarily! Tomorrow I'll show it to you! I don't know how long the effects would last... But," she leans in to kiss your cheek, accidentally biting her inner cheek out of nervousness "Ouch! Eh, what I'm saying is, with those potions we, hopefully, can starts hanging out outside! Do some dinner date, movie night at cinema, stuff that I know you want to do but you never asked out of consideration for me. " she hums happily as she snuggle closer to your cheek "You're warm," her eyes is full of adoration as she stares at your sleeping face "I love that the most about you... You're such a warm person. You're patient with me, even though sometimes my magic combined with my clumsiness causes you trouble. But you're always being so kind with me... It made me so happy," she turns to look at the clock "Ah, It's already this late! I should wake you up now." "𝙊𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩."

Long time no see! I've been busy with my irl stuff and just finally got the time to write again. I kinda projecting on some of the characters lol I hope you don't mind... I originally planned to write for all of them, but I decided to split it into different parts since when I'm writing this I have a severe case of writer's block lolol. I promises that the rest of them will be uploaded in due time!

I've made similar prompt before w/ Devil's Quintuplet+Cell War so check it out! And I tried to make it as less OOC as I possibly could, but I don't know if it will suits your interpretation. I hope you like it all the same though! Thank you anon for your request 🍀 and thank you for reading!

[nanamissuit]

Just found your blog and saw the ask post.

So here I am, asking for some smutty Smut-Smut for my darling husband Simon. 😛😛

A very confident and outspoken fem!reader meets Lieutenant Simon 'stares at you like he's gonna eat you alive' Riley.

So I was thinking maybe she works for Laswell and starts working for TF141. A certain tall, blonde and broody lieutenant takes a liking for her, thinks day and night about how he's gonna make her his, how he's gonna ruin her for other men but he's also a bit reserved thinking she isn't into him.

Turns out she's very much into him and makes a first move, but as we all know Riley isn't one to shy away from a good opportunity.

He shows her who exactly own her and her sweet little pussy.

😍😍😍😍

Office - Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Fem! Outspoken/confident reader

Warnings: Smut, P in V no condom, Dirty talk, Degradation?, Breeding kink !! MDNI

Now don’t get me wrong I love my job but when I met 141, for the first time I think that’s when I actually reconsidered my position. 

Laswell put me into the 141 around 2 weeks ago and my god do I regret saying yes to this position. Yeah maybe it came with my own office but it also came with recruits hitting on me 24/7 365. 

“I think someone must have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes.” Was one of the MANY pickup lines I've heard this week. I respond the same to every single one though, “Hm, you Google that on your way over here?” And usually, that shuts them up so I can walk away back to my office.

But there is 1 man who I’m intrigued about.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, is a 6’4 broad man with a ghost mask. He seems to never take that damn thing off and I can’t help but wonder what he looks like under there. We have small talk from time to time, mostly he stops by my office and asks how my day is going or how he should punish the three recruits that hit on me that day.

“Hey, you payin’ attention?” I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts by his low voice. “Huh-Oh yeah sorry just thinking..What were we talking about?” I responded as nonchalantly as I could so he wouldn’t question what exactly had my thoughts all over the place.

“Right..Anyway, we were talking about the recruit? He hit on you on your way in here…Again.” He was looking me in the eyes as he sat across from my desk on a chair and I looked back at him directly in his eyes..I wonder what he's thinking about.

“Listen I told you it’s fine there hasn’t got to be any disciplinary actions taken against him. He does this every week. Let's just leave it at that, yeah?” I spoke softly but affirmatively and he nodded at me and started to head for the door but then I stopped him.

“Hey, Ghost can I ask you-” “Simon. Call me Simon and yeah go ahead.” He interrupted my sentence shortly after I spoke “Don’t interrupt me next time, thank you. I was gonna say why the mask?” 

“Oh? To hide my face.” He responded. I rolled my eyes at him standing up and walking in front of him as I raised my head to look him in his eyes.

“Well duh...I’m asking if you ever take it off?” I lifted my hands to cup his face in a way to take off his mask as he broke eye contact and moved my hands as he raised his own hands to his mask. “Never thought you’d try n make a first move on me love.” He then finally pulled his mask off and I saw his face. I admired every inch of him.

“Wow…You really aren’t ugly.” I joked at him as I stood on my tippy toes to cup his face and run my fingers along all the scars. “Haha, very funny.” He then inched his face closer to mine. I couldn’t hold back anymore and just kissed him passionately. He returned the kiss not even a minute after as he basically forced his tongue into my mouth he backed me up into my own desk and I hopped on top of it.

“Aren’t you an eager little one?” He pulled away from the kiss to press his forehead against mine and look me directly in the eye as we caught our breath. “Can’t you just be quiet and fuck me already..?” I pressed my lips back against his as he cupped my ass while his other hand trailed into my jeans finding my already-soaked cunt. “Calm down my little slut, I’ve barely even touched you and you’re already soaked for me.” He spoke in between kisses as he toyed with my clothed clit dragging his fingers lightly up and down just grazing over all the right places. I moaned lightly at his touches as he smirked directly into another kiss he gave me.

“Simon…Please..” I can’t take him anymore, just lightly touching me isn’t enough doesn’t he know that? And then I saw that stupid smirk on his beautiful dumb face. “Shh sweetheart be patient..” He whispered and giggled at me, almost mocking me in a way. I rocked my hips looking for any kind of friction I could get but I got little to nothing. 

“Stay still f’me.” He almost growled at me as he pinned my hips down with his hand that wasn’t currently in my pants. And that exact moment, I got a good look at him. His blonde short hair his little stubble on his face and his deep brown eyes I could almost get lost in.

“You just gonna stare at me, pretty girl?” He looked directly at me as he finally ripped my pants off of me along with my panties before I could even respond he bent me over my desk. “SimonSimonSimon…” I had nothing else to say but his name. I was acting so pathetic.

“Mhm, I haven’t even shoved a finger in you and you’re moaning my name. Honestly Love I didn’t even think you were into me.” He said to me as he shoved a finger into my tight hole. “Simon…Be gentle please.” He shot me a look shortly after I said that in between pants 

He didn’t listen, in fact, he did the exact opposite and shoved two more fingers stretching my tight hole out. “You can take it, I know you can, you're my strong girl.” He gritted through his teeth as I felt the tent in his pants rub against my thigh. I knew exactly what to say. “Mmm Simon gimme it, please. I promise I can take it please..!” 

“Yeah, sweetheart? Really?” He sounded like he doubted me. “Mhm mhm! I promise, please.” I kept begging him until eventually, he gave in as I heard his cargos unzip and him pulling off his boxers as he spat on his hand and rubbed it on me as a make-shift lube.

“Brace yourself, baby.” As he lined himself up to my entrance and shoved himself inch by inch I winced and whined but he let me adjust. “Jesus-You’re so big mmph..” I whined as I adjusted and he started to pull on my hair just enough so my head was thrown back as his other hand held my waist as he thrusts in and out slowly.

“Yeah? I am gonna ruin this little cunt and make it mine f’me and only me, you want that don’t you?” His question actually had me flustered but I was so cock-drunk all I could do was nod my head yes for him. And then I felt that knot in my stomach and I knew I was close.

“Simon m’close..!” He sped up his thrusts “M’gonna cum in you sweetheart gonna fill up this sweet pussy.” He said that to me as we both became undone at the same time as my walls clenched around his throbbing cock.

I shortly after could barely walk so I fell over onto the small sofa in the corner of my office Simon covered me in a blanket he knelt next to me and placed a small kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be back to get you later, yeah?” I just nodded at him and shut my eyes for some rest as he walked out of my office and shut the door behind him. He noticed Gaz about to walk in.

“I wouldn’t go in there quite yet mate, she's swamped with work.” Gaz looked at him confused but just walked away as Simon followed after him. Nobody could see you in such a vulnerable state besides him. He’d make sure of it, You’re his now.

OMGGGGG THIS TOOK ME 2 DAYS HELP.

[cupids-chamber]

CELEBRATING NEW YEARS WITH THEM + NEW YEARS EVE! RSA + DIASOMNIA

GENDER NEUTRAL READER A/N: Enjoy my contribution to new years. Also all stories, and most characters part is connected somehow.. read all parts to get a few extra info.. you don't have to though! Slight spoilers in the first headcanon for Lilia, so skip over the first sentence!

POMEFIORE + HEARTSLABYL + IGNIHYDE / SCARABIA + OCTAVINELLE + SAVANACLAW / RSA + DIASOMNIA /

A new year was nothing exceptional to the fae, as he lived through many years with his long live span... He didn't find the mark of a new year worth celebrating.. that was before you convinced him of course.. You had convinced the young fae King to throw a party.. to mark the start of a new year.. You had rarely asked for anything since your marriage.. So, he couldn't help but agree... Had you known that Malleus would have interpreted your wish in such a grandiose way, you may have gone back and asked him to rethink your decision, for your lover not only held a banquet so grand, it could be on par to a wedding.. all of the kingdom's nobles and some of your friends will be attending as well.

He didn't bother batting an eye on the expense, as he wished for your happiness above all else, had he known you wanted a simpler event with only your immediate friends and comrades, he would have reconsidered his rather excessive decisions but what could you do.. your lover went this far just to make you happy.. you couldn't help but find the action quite.. cute..

The event was quite exhausting, but you spent the day with your friends, and greeting some guests and generally trying your best to enjoy the event as it was.. though you did get in quite the trouble.. when Lilia had convinced you to participate in a drinking game.. You didn't know how many drinks you had by now. All you knew is that you had to beat Lilia, your pride was on the line here! It wasn't until Malleus took notice of your excessive drinking, that you stopped and everything after that was a blur in your memories..

The next morning you woke up with the excessive hangover.. And whenever you approached Malleus he got quite flustered.. 'What the hell did I do last night?...'

Lilia was quite shocked when he had gotten the invitation, all the way here in the the land he had chosen to retire in. He figured if he were to go, he should go with you.. I mean the two of you were bound to go together anyways, it just took a little convincing for him to make you step out of the comfort of your home and to the palace, but then again, the sly fae has almost always gotten his way regarding such events. You had expected the journey to take long, yet the trip went by unbelievably fast.. Needless to say you were grateful you didn't suffer from motion sickness...

When the two of you arrived at the banquet, it was fairly crowded.. and somewhere along the lines your partner had left you, telling you to enjoy it here 'that sly bastar—' before you could finish your thought someone had asked you to join your table.. unexpectedly It was one of your old friends! The two of you began talking and an hour passed, when suddenly you noticed how the crowd gathered elsewhere.. being the person you were, you didn't pay it much care.. until of course you realized it was Lilia.. up to his old man antic's again.. He apparently challenged the ever so competitive monarch to a drinking battle! And.. the King had to carry them out, while they struggled in his grasp.

"Lilia what did you do?" you asked the ex-general, as he gave you a sly grin. "Don't look at me like that and answer the questi— oh." he continued grinning, as you started putting the puzzles together.. "You know whatever your planning is not gonna end well right...?" he simply nodded.. Later on you found out the two of you will be spending the night in the castle as well.. Maybe you should rethink the idea of dating an ex-general who's this rash with decisions..

Silver hadn't expected to get and invitation out of nowhere during his break, his original plan was to spend the entire break with you, under warm blankets, eating snacks and whatnot while watching your favorite shows on Twistflex.. it wasn't anything exceptional.. yet the that's how the two of you spend Christmas together, and enjoyed it.. if you were honest Silver was such a sweetheart, the two of you spend a lot of time gathering ingredients and going shopping together.. And according to your schedule, right after celebrating new years as a couple, the two of your would go visit his father. Yet now everything had changed, as the king was throwing a party for the New year, something rather unexpected, but who were you both to deny.. after all you could do your plans another day as well! After all, you guys spent every moment you could together, being partially inseparable..

The two of you got dressed, taking your time to go to the banquet, knowing fairly well, the earlier you leave the more the traffic will be.. after all it was a invitation to the king's palace.. everyone would want to go early, and expect traffic to be fast if they left earlier.. that and you and Silver slept in and almost forgot about the invitation entirely, but then Silver got a call from Lilia and he remembered that their was an event the two of you should be attending..

The two of you made your way inside.. only to discover his dad's little 'prank' he calls it.. the two of you just got there, and began rethinking your choices.. maybe saying you two were out of town was a better idea then coming here.. Even so, the two of you enjoyed the meeting, catching up with friends... and etc.. The two of you enjoyed the day, even after whatever the hell Lilia did... since no one would tell you two.. what had fully happened.. that was until you two were on your way back home, and overheard Sebek ranting to his partner about Lilia's actions.. The two of you stared at each other dumbfounded, before letting out a laugh.. Something that Sebek didn't notice, but his partner surely did, giving the two of you a light wave. The two of you waved back, acknowledging their presence, before making your way back home.. Hopefully, the rest of the night could go well and you could continue the plans you had made previously, instead of falling asleep.

It took a lot of convincing to get Sebek to take a break.. but Malleus forced both him and Silver to take a couple weeks off.. He was more than capable of protecting himself.. But Sebek.. is well uhh.. Sebek! The two of your Christmas went surprisingly well, as Sebek was fairly cooperative for someone who didn't plan on taking a break.. The two of you even had plans of travelling out of town for new years.. So as far as you both were concerned.. you two hadn't planned anything for new years.. That was when you two received an last minute invitation to the king's banquet..

Usually Sebek would've rushed to the banquet, yet this time around your partner took his sweet long time.. something unexpected, yet pleasing nonetheless.. The two of you finally left for the banquet an hour into the party.. And when you got there another 30 minutes had passed.. And the sight was truly one to behold. Lilia drinking along with Malleus's beloved spouse, the two were chugging down glasses. And you could've sworn Lilia's fiancé lost a bit of their life force upon seeing the dreadful sight.... as for your boyfriend.. he froze in his spot. He didn't move.. 'was he even breathing?—' you thought, slightly concerned for the health of your lover.. He was loud but lovable nonetheless!

Sebek didn't recover from his shock for the rest of the night.. and you couldn't do much about the scenario- as your friends quickly dragged you away, separating you from the half fae. Your friends questioned what took you so long... and etc.. all of you caught up on missed times, planning to visit each other later.

Only when you planned on leaving did Sebek return to his senses, he seemed on edge throughout the banquet.. He started ranting, in a loud tone.. You prompted him to quiet down, hoping no one noticed.. Someone did however, but thankfully it was his friend Silver and his partner.. you waved at the couple who seemed to be getting ready for their departure in quiet the rush.. "Sebek calm down!"

Che'nya was invited to his friend Trey's new years party, and he dragged you along.. Sure it took some convincing, since you preferred to stay at home away from crowds.. But one look at those adorable cat eyes, as he pleaded with you.. and you knew you were doomed.. Hey.. at least Trey makes tasty treats, it's not all that bad.. The two of you arrived pretty early on.. and you quickly got dragged into their events that had been planned before you arrived.. "Ok 21 questions.. or whatever—" they slurred slightly on their words, obviously a bit tipsy, "We ask questions to whoever the bottle lands on and they take a drink if they can't answer" you assume that they had lost a few rounds before, and that's why they're so tipsy... "I don't think this is how we play this game.." you mumbled to your boyfriend, who chuckled and urged you to play along with their whims.. after all it's not always the two of you go to such events.. 'That's a lie, he forces you to go to all his friends events because he likes seeing you interact with others'..

You sat at the corner of the couch, beside your fiancé.. hoping to avoid the bottle at all times possible.. but to your luck it lands on you! Outrageous! "Ok, Y/n..." you could've sworn you saw an evil glint in Trey and his spouse's eyes, as if they've been waiting for this very moment.. maybe that's why Riddle was so drunk in such a short spam of time... You began to understand Riddle more, as you reached your fifth shot.. everyone making use of those 21 questions to learn more about how you and Che'nya had ended up dating... and why you didn't tell them about your engagement sooner... This must've been their revenge for the late announcement you thought, as you felt the 6th shot sink straight into your stomach... You glared at Che'nya when your round was finished, he seemed to have enjoyed your torture quite the bit.. "I nominate Che'nya for this round" you said aloud with a burst of confidence, it was probably the alcohol.. but no one was going to complain.. they could mess with you two a bit more!

By the end of it the two of you were rather tipsy.. the last thing you could remember was you and Che'nya making it a goal to finish this pie.. of some kind.. It was a bet you made with... er... Cater!! Your mind went blurry from there.. you probably fell asleep.. as the next time you woke up you were back at home.. with the most horrible of hangovers.. "Screw you Che'nya—" you muttered underneath your breath, as Che'nya chirped in from no where.. "Hey! What did I do?!"

'This wretched, lovable cat!—"

Neige had attended Vil's party.. which you were more than sure was just for appearances.. You sometimes wondered how naive your lover could be for attending such an event, even after he knew of Vil's blatant hatred towards him.. that's if he realized such a thing.. He considered the two of them as friends.. which you heavily doubted was a mutual feeling... The two of you had separated pretty early on in the party, and you choose to stay out of getting to close to any journalist or popular news company ceo's.. Like the founder of Fairy news or the leading chairmen of Twistfeed.. You were sure had you met them, they'd ask for an interview.. after all many were curious about your relationship with Neige..

The two of you had recently publicly confirmed your relationship.. And had been together for about an year and a half.. the two of you remained fairly private in terms of your relationship, as the media was quite intrusive to celebrity couples, and you had seen it first hand with your fellow co-stars.. But enough of that! It was new years.. As you skimmed through the sheer selection in accommodations, you couldn't help but turn starry-eyed at the sight.. and that was when your lover began dragging you out of the area without an explanation.. he seemed mad... Extremely pissed.. which was something quite unlike your beloved sweetheart. You choose not to ask for an explanation when he said "we have to go".. something happened and he obviously weren't in the mood to explain..

You knew for a fact, that if any journalists were there.. which they most definitely were.. this would make it to the new's tomorrow morning.. yet you didn't mind.. valuing your lovers emotions over image.. the next morning went by normally, and when you brought up the previous nights incident, Neige paused...

© cupids-chamber, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and or confirmation.

[gorbalsvampire]

is it bright where you are? (vtm city meta 2/?)

In Part 1, we talked about how to choose your city. In Part 2, we're going to start populating it with SPCs!

how many vampires?

If you've been around Vampire: the Masquerade for any significant length of time, you'll have heard the 1:100,000 ratio passed around.

Discard this. Ignore this. Screw this up, do a shit on it, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over the rainbow. It's arbitrary, it's frequently contradicted, it persists in fandom largely because it's a hard number on which the brain battens and sticks, and it's got no relevance whatsoever to how many vampires YOUR city needs.

Likewise, anything from the sourcebooks that gives you any impression that you need seven Tremere before you can have a Regent, or a dozen Ventrue to fill out the bottom rung of the Board? Yeet that. Those aren't characters; they're filler. A needless strain on the night to night. They probably exist, shunted off into suburbia with cleaver families or otherwise keeping themselves to themselves, but please don't feel like you need to know their names or have statblocks for them. They do not matter. They are there for verisimilitude's sake; spackle for the brain wrinkles of tidy minds.

You'll have Player Characters. They'll need sires, and they may have a Mawla or an Adversary. In an ideal world that's where you should start: build around the things the players put on their sheets, i.e. the things they've signalled they want in the game.

We do not live in an ideal world. At the present moment in time, my brain has been sparked by an impromptu chat from one of my D&D group who's been watching LA/NY By Night and getting back into Vampire. This particular group are now considering a pivot when we're done with our current D&D adventure, and I am reconsidering the handful of ideas I had for a Manchester based story some years ago. We have a sense of what clans are cool: we're probably looking at Toreador, Tzimisce and Lasombra (which is weird) and probably Anarchs because I know what these gremlins are like, and I want to lean into Ventrue and the Anarch pillar clans (Brujah, Gangrel, Ministry) because we're gonna have to fill out the conventional sect members.

The truth is, you've probably got an idea or two about your city already. That's why, a lot of the time, I actually start with the domains.

domains and you

Most cities kind of divide themselves into domains naturally. If you know the city, you can do what I'm doing right now and go "hmm, Oxford Road would make a good seat for a Ventrue Prince with this feeding limitation and that power base... Deansgate feels more anarchy, more Brujah... if we're going to put Toreador anyway, put them in Salford, maybe a Toreador/Gangrel axis, that could be fun... Elysium in the Northern Quarter, there's places there that would be perfect... and obviously the more north you go the more Anarch things get as the money runs out..."

If you don't, here's a trick you can do. Point your web browser to snazzymaps.com. Select your preference of style (I like to use Dark and Red as filters, for obvious reasons, and "dango red" is my current favourite). Drag the view to your real-world city of choice and zoom out until you have the names of good-sized, famous districts visible. If you want a busier and more complicated city, zoom in a bit and get the smaller ones. You'll need an account to save, but nothing stops you taking screenshots...

Here are a couple of maps of Manchester: the wide zoom that includes some of the outer city, but not the real satellite towns like Sale or Altrincham, and the close in on the inner city which is where most of the action will probably be happening. I would of course crop these to hide the various UI greebles if I was using them in any sort of player facing resource, but that comes later.

That gives you your domains, which you can start populating with any SPCs you already have burning a hole in your brain. You can set markers at this stage, if you know where you want to put things, or you can do so in the later Relationship Mapping stage, or you can not bother and use a damn notebook (which, again, since I know Manchester fairly well - I lived there for two years and married a local - is probably how I'd go about things).

The old-school variation on this is acquiring an Eyewitness travel guide (the fat ones with the white covers) and using the chapters from that as domains. I like using Eyewitness because they're pretty exhaustive in terms of landmarks - gives you plenty of things you can navigate by and slip into descriptions, although it does give your game a slightly sightseer vibe.

For historical games, I like to dig up a historical map! There's not always one from exactly the right decade, but usually some from close enough that you can pinpoint landmarks around which a domain might centre and still achieve the right period vibe.

Anyway. However you've reached this point, this is where you start doing the Research, rounding out your initial enthusiasm for PCs and SPCs with historical conteeext! Vampire works really well as historical fiction in my experience - reality is deeper and gnarlier than anything you could make up and, quite often, you'll come across people and events and places that make you think "oh, this could be vampires."

I usually spend a couple of weeks on this. Just chipping away on different deep dives, different conflicts - politics, sport, universities, anything that exposes deep long term fault lines in the city's integrity, because that's where the monsters live and where their influence is felt. Once my head is creaking and my notes arranged along conflict lines... the Process can really begin.

[blockgamepirate]

Here are some suggestions I have for QSMP, that nobody asked for and that nobody involved with the server is going to actually see anyway (but I can't stop thinking about this so I have to write something down)

This is me trying to be constructive instead of just critical, because I do love this server and I want it to be sustainable

I guess this is vaguely addressed to either Quackity and/or to whoever is leading the team, idk, like I said they aren't gonna read a random tumblr post so who cares

And yes, obviously I'm sure some of the things in this post are already being improved on, I just think it's still worth listing them

1: Better communication all around

Especially within the admin team obviously, including the actors and builders and everyone, but also between the admin team and the streamers! And between the admin team and the audience as well!

I promise more communication almost always helps things work out more smoothly than keeping people out of the loop or not talking to each other, or worse; actively banning people from talking to each other

This includes being more open and reconsidering which things actually need to be kept secret and from whom, because if people don't know what to expect, they're not going to know how to prepare either! And they also won't be able to let you know about potential problems ahead of time!

The streamers and the actors and other team members as well should at the very least know about stuff that's going to affect their schedule and to have some idea of the kinds of things they're gonna be expected to do. If you just suddenly throw stuff at them and expect them to be immediately ready to cooperate or play along, that's just gonna cause frustration and burnout

I would also worry less about spoilers than about backlash when people expect one thing and get something completely different; you can in fact give a bit more hints so people don't get the wrong idea and end up disappointed

(And on the other hand if you have secrets that you can't talk about because they would lead to a big controversy if they were revealed uh.... maybe don't do the thing? Maybe simply don't do the controversial thing that you can't let people know about, consider it. If you feel like something you're doing would make people mad if they knew, that thing might in fact be a problem)

2: Show your respect for everyone involved in the project

Respect people's time, respect their ability to cooperate (AS LONG AS YOU TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON), listen to their ideas and concerns, etc. This is honestly also part of communicating better but it's an important part

Respecting and also demonstrating your respect for your team is so crucial as a leader, and it genuinely goes a long way even when you have very little else to give them

In fact I think often people would even appreciate respect more than they would appreciate money (although it has to be genuine respect, not just empty words; hence why I say you need to demonstrate your respect with your actions)

3: Have a more collaborative mindset

Think of all the members of the team and the streamers as partners rather than as employees or as customers; this is a collaborative creative project, not a business

As much as this started out as one man's passion project, there's no way to do something this ambitious other than as a team effort, including the actors, including the streamers, so it's just much healthier for everyone to think of it as such

Also it's just better for the stated goals of the server as well, because it's all about bringing people together and what better way to bring everyone together than to make them feel like they're part of a team?

4: That said, you don't actually need to drop all the admin driven lore, that's not what I'm saying orz

Just because I want the streamers to be more involved doesn't mean I think they should also be planning all the lore, that's just not necessary

pls do get a proper gamemaster on the team, though, someone who has experience running a LARP type of thing or at least a TTRPG campaign. That would help so much, and I bet you could ask Cellbit or Bagi or Charlie if they could recommend anyone

Honestly I could probably make a whole post just about how to run the admin driven lore better, but getting yourself an experienced gamemaster would be so much better than any specific advice I could give

5: If you're gonna have volunteers, you need to treat them like volunteers, not like employees

You have to respect the fact that volunteers are not subordinates, they're here to help you, not to be ordered around, banned from talking to people, judged for their availability, or made to sign weird NDAs

They're offering their labour for free because they care about the project or because they enjoy what they do, and they deserve to be appreciated for it, not policed and bossed around (not that you should treat actual employees with that kind of hostility either tbh)

Having volunteers is not necessarily the problem (at least as long as you're not using them to make a profit), it's treating volunteers as unpaid employees, because then you pretty much do just have unpaid employees instead of volunteers

Okay, finally the big one:

6: Consider running QSMP as a cooperative

I know this is Quackity's baby and a Quackity Studios' project, but the thing is, I don't think this model is sustainable

I mean, we already know it isn't sustainable, that's why we're in this mess

As far as I can tell, Quackity Studios is not making any profit from the server, there's no way the revenue from the admin streams and the QSMP Info channel would be enough to cover all the costs if people were paid decently (in fact I don't think it's even enough to cover the costs without paying everyone decently)

This sort of arrangement, with one party running the whole thing out of pocket, makes sense if it's either a very low maintenance server which doesn't cost much and doesn't require much work to keep running, or a very short-term one, more like an event type of thing

QSMP is neither of those, QSMP is both very high maintenance and has been running for almost a full year

I think there's absolutely value in having an ambitious long term project like this, it's very cool, it's very hype, but this is not a good way to run it

And it's especially bizarre considering that people do make money out of it, but the people making money are the streamers

So I would suggest taking some tips from the Hermitcraft SMP server which is run as a collective. Obviously Hermitcraft is much lower maintenance but their model is also much more robust, because there isn't just one person who has to take responsibility for everything, or pay for everything

It would also encourage the spirit of international cooperation to have the streamers literally be part of the server, not just as guests but as partners, so they could have a say in how the server is run and be more invested in the project

(At least those streamers who want to be involved, of course I realise some of them might choose not to)

This would require regular meetings, but I think that's also a good thing, and an opportunity to also talk things through off-camera whenever any issues come up (better communication again!)

AND it would mean that the streamers should actually contribute to the server costs and paying the admins and other behind the scenes people. Probably based on their stream revenue from QSMP streams because obviously some of these streamers make more money than others (I would suggest a progressive membership fee (like progressive taxation style) to make sure that it's not more taxing for the smaller streamers than the bigger ones, but obviously it should all be agreed on between the members)

And IMO the admins, including the actors, the builders, the devs, the translators, etc. should also be considered partners, but since they don't make money directly, the way the streamers do, they should be the ones who are getting compensated for their contributions so they're better able to commit to the project, by which I mean yes you should pay them, but not as employees but as creative partners

Of course this is just one idea, I'm not saying it's necessarily the only good model by any means, it's just a suggestion, all of these are just suggestions

[yanderes-galore]

yandere concept for Phineas from the outerworlds?

Sure! Sorry this took so long. Special thanks to 🐋Anon for taking time out of their day to research this character for me. I couldn't do this without them and some other Anons so I hope it's worth the wait :) Once I got the character research I felt I had to write this immediately!

Yandere! Phineas Vernon Welles Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, PTSD mention, Paranoia, Manipulation, Guilt Tripping, Isolation, Mentions of death/murder, Human experimentation if you squint, Stalking mention, Thoughts of kidnapping, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Those who have played the game will know Phineas is a wanted man (not in the good way).

He hates The Board and wants to help the colonists said Board abandoned.

The issue is... this is seen as treason.

Which makes Phineas a criminal who has to stay in hiding.

Phineas has the highest chance to be yandere for the main character of the game, in this case that would be you.

You're the one successful colonist/experiment he's managed to revive without experiencing explosive cell death.

He has gone through so many others... honestly, that's probably gotten to his head.

Phineas is rather desensitized to death/murder, or at least he seems to be.

After all, there's the past experiments and he's been considered a murderer by The Board anyways.

Phineas can not trust many, in fact you're probably the only one he trusts due to him reviving you.

The same may go for you at first until you encounter members to add to your crew, which he is admittedly a bit... iffy on.

I'm going to take into account what 🐋Anon said, Phineas does seem like a subtle/manipulative yandere.

He wants to be the only one you can trust, even when you have companions, he makes you reconsider your trust in them.

After all... they may seem loyal, but maybe one of them is a spy?

You should put most of your trust in Phineas.

He's the one who revived you after all.

Phineas is primarily in his lab, you don't see him too often but he always manages to make you come back to him.

Phineas is subtle due to his actions, he quietly observes your progress and always gives you tasks to do just to keep coming back to him.

You're both in danger just about all the time, so he often gets worried about his obsession.

Phineas needs you for getting chemicals and others supplies, but he'd be lying if he didn't think of just locking you in his lab at times.

He knows he shouldn't, he's sort of lucid in his actions.

Although there's a nagging voice in the back of his mind wondering if this is even worth it?

He's attached to you.

He honestly doesn't care who has to die as long as it's not you or him.

Phineas could work platonic or romantic.

His overall yandere behavior is an overwhelming care towards you, his intentions just determines what kind.

Strangely Phineas always seems to know what you're doing, well... strange to you.

In reality Phineas is indeed watching you and taking notes whenever he can.

There may be times he wants to "check your vitals for long term effects".

These check ups are just excuses to get closer to you.

He likes to check you over for your health, sure, but he also just appreciates your health.

As I said before, he doesn't have much company.

You can just assume Phineas is touch-starved at least a little bit.

He wants some form of comfort, he isn't going to let The Board steal you from him.

Anxiety no doubt eats away at him as he wait for you to visit.

The only think he hopes those companions of yours will do is protect you.

He'll trust them that much.

Phineas snapping and locking you up is low... he knows he still needs you... but once he gets what he needs he may do such a thing.

Once he manages to have another successful experiment, he can do whatever he wishes with you.

He could have another colonist gather supplies, and he could keep you.

The thought is tempting... he tries to ignore it at first, yet it keeps creeping into his mind.

You won't notice there's anything wrong with him for awhile, he's just that subtle.

Although, the moment you trust him... and he asks you to come into his lab for another check in...

He'll lock the doors...

He'll keep you with him for company, all safe and locked away as he hides from The Board... he may be in denial at times but he really can't let you go it seems.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The One I've Been Waiting For {Part 07 of 13}

Word count: 2.5 K

Summary: Billy Hargrove is just one of the many students you're supposed to help. The last thing you expect from your interaction is that he'll start flirtt with you... Much less that Billy would stir up feelings you'd rather keep hidden. Despite the mutual sentiments that soon enough start to grow, there are a lot of reasons for whatever it is to be left alone, and one of them is your age...

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

A/N: In this story, reader is 5 years older than Billy, who's 18.

•••

Every Damn Time

 The bell rings when you're checking yourself in the mirror. You made some waves in your hair to add some volume and decided to wear a dress. Taking a deep breath, you apply some lipgloss before heading out. There's a heat wave over Hawkins, so when you open the door, you're greeted by Billy and a fresh blow of wind.

 “Whoa, Princess.” He says, looking you up and down before smirking. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”

 Biting your lip, you blush as you pull the door close behind you. Quickly checking Billy out, you raise an eyebrow. “Your shirt is buttoned all the way up.” You tell him, making your way to his car.

 “I want to make this right.” Billy moves ahead, opening the passenger door, which surprises you. “But I can undo some of them if you want.”

 “You're unbelievable.” Rolling your eyes, you get inside the car.

 When Billy starts driving, you buckle up. “Where are we going?”

 “Drive-in cinema.” He says, looking at you.

 “Sounds fun.”

 “Hope you'll like the movie.”

°°°

 The place is full, but you manage to get a good spot. But the movie isn't that good. It's a slasher movie, but it's very boring. It doesn't feel like it's going anywhere, and all the characters are shallow and stupid, and you can't help but laugh at some fake dialogues and stupid choices. Billy seems restless after a while, you're not sure why. Turning your body towards him and deciding to ignore the movie, you get his attention. “What's up?”

 “What do you mean?”

 “You're clearly not happy.” Maybe he's reconsidering, and not interested in hanging out with you anymore. So you look down, thankful for the darkness. “You can take me home if you want, I don't want you to-”

 “What? No.” He cuts you off, and you raise your eyes at him again. “That's not it. I just thought this movie would be a good one but it sucks.” Billy looks around, sighing. “And there's no way we can get out of here until this shit is over.”

 You don't want to smile. Or feel relieved. But both things happen anyway. Your eyes wander from his face to something behind him, and beyond the line of cars, you spot a space. “Don't worry about it. Come.” Tilting your head to the side, you leave the car, soon followed by a very confused Billy.

 “Where?”

 “Just come.” Grabbing his jacket, you pull him through the cars, trying to move fast enough so people won't complain.

 The empty spot you saw was an old restaurant's outside area, and the only reason why there aren't any cars here is that there's no sight of the screen from here. It's pretty dark, lit up only by the low lights from the drive-in. The concrete floor gives space to some bushes, high enough to hide you from any curious eyes. You can still hear the movie, but it's not so loud over here.

 You find some concrete planks left near a tree, so you move there, sitting down as Billy does the same. “Better than watching that movie. And we can talk better.”

 “We sure can,” Billy mutters, and you put a strand of hair behind your ear.

 Earlier today you were praying to Heavens not to be completely alone with Billy. It makes you feel funny and sends ideas racing through your head. And public places tend to restrain certain actions. But here you are, in a dark parking lot where nobody can see the two of you. And you put yourself in this position. You don't know what happens, but when you're with Billy, it's like you forget all the rules. It all falls apart. The heart wins every damn time.

 “Tell me about your family.” Billy suddenly says, and you furrow your eyebrows.

 “You wanna know about my family?” Chuckling, you turn your body towards him, crossing your legs.

 “It got me by surprise too, Princess. But yes, I do wanna know.”

 Taking a deep breath, you decide to go with it. If he was the one to ask, maybe he does want to know. “My parents are nice, I can't complain. Mom is quite a hothead and my father is the one to slow her down. From my grandparents, I only have my father's father. He lives on the same street my parents do back in Arizona. My uncle doesn't speak to us and we don't speak to him ever since the accident. He lost a leg and has been living with his new wife in Texas.” Shrugging your shoulders, you don't know what else to say. “I guess that's it. It sounds very boring.”

 “Do you blame him? For the accident?”

 The question gets you by surprise, and you clear your throat. “I did. I... I don't know. I'm not sure if I forgave him but the truth is, I don't think he'll ever forgive himself.” You speak low, eyes on the floor. “All the contact we have with him is when father sends him a Christmas card. I'm not sure why he keeps doing that since Uncle Davis never sends anything back. I guess he can't face us anymore.” Swallowing hard, you feel the familiar lump in your throat. “I try not to think about it. The accident, my uncle... It's a constant fight between not thinking about it and carrying their memories with me.”

 “My mother abandoned me.” He says after some seconds of silence. “But that you already knew.” Billy chuckles, but it's a dry, unhappy sound. You don't want him to speak about her if that means he'll hurt. But you can't stop him. “She was the only person who truly loved me, I guess. We used to spend a lot of time at the beach, away from Neil. Some days we stood there for hours.” His voice is barely a whisper, and you move closer to him. “I used to surf and she was quite proud, I think.” He looks away, and you wonder if he's holding his tears back. Seeing Billy in pain makes you hurt too. And you wish you could do something to help. “Then one day she couldn't take Neil anymore. I don't blame her for leaving, because I saw what he did to her, but I can't understand why she left me with that devil.” Billy raises his voice a bit, getting angry. “After she left, Neil got even worse.”

 You're crying now, a few tears rolling down your cheeks. “I can't say I know how you feel, but I can imagine.” Taking a deep breath, you touch his shoulder. “Maybe... Maybe she's still out there and if it would make you feel better you could try to find her. Talk to her and ask her why.”

 “Have you ever asked your uncle why? Why he was driving so fast with a kid in the front seat? Or why he didn't keep his eyes on the road?” He speaks fast, staring into your eyes.

 Shaking your head, you wipe a tear away. You know what he means. “No, I haven't. It wouldn't change anything.”

 “Exactly.” He mutters. “I don't wanna find her, I just wanna go back.”

 “I understand.” Whispering, you move even closer, until your leg is touching his. There's something else you want to ask, but you're not sure how to put it. You don't want to put salt in the wound, but you're just trying to see the person behind the mask he puts on for the rest of the world. “Billy, do you really mean it? That you don't feel loved by anyone?” Keeping your voice as low as a whisper, you suddenly take his hand. It happens out of nowhere, but you just need him to know you're here. That he's not alone. “You don't have to answer if you don't want to.”

 Billy smiles a sad, broken smile. He probably didn't want you to get this deep. “No.” He simply says, sighing. “To Neil, I'm just a pain in the ass. To Max, I'm just Neil's trash son. To Susan, I'm nothing but an inconvenience.”

 “But you're always in some kind of relationship. I'm sure the girls-”

 “The longest relationship I had lasted two weeks and trust me, you don't need love for that.”

°°°

 Billy had many plans for today. He wanted to make it a real date, one where he'd get to know her and allow her to get to know him. Have a good time, maybe some romantic talking or stuff like that. But he wasn't counting on this.

 He has a rock for a heart, as many girls have told him. But ever since (Y/N) came into his life, his heart is turning into flesh. And it beats, it aches, it hurts. And he was never the one to deal with pain. Billy is the kind of person who ignores it or breaks things to make it go away. But here he is, heart wide open, feelings flowing out.

 But that's all thanks to her. It's all because of her. No other girl ever made him feel like that. No other girl made him feel comfortable enough to let these things out.

 This girl is messing with him. With his mind, heart, body, everything.

 “Wanna know why I've never really got into any relationships?” She looks at him with kind eyes, glistening a little from the tears, and he nods. “Because no guy ever made me feel... Loved. I mean, romantically loved. They all had some kind of game. Not calling you, or just calling after three days. Or pretend they don't like you... Shit like that. But other than that, I do feel loved... And, please, don't take it the wrong way, I'm not bragging about it or-”

 “Hey, you don't have to worry about me.” He assures her, tightening the grip on her hand. “Believe me, I'd never want you to feel the way I do. And I'm happy you have a family that loves you. You deserve it, you deserve so much more.” (Y/N) smiles, a small, shy smile before she looks at their holding hands. “But I get what you mean. Go on.”

 “It's a little stupid, but blame it on my hopeless romantic ass. I just never felt like the guys I hung out with really wanted to be with me. I'm not even sure what exactly I was looking for, but... I don't know. It never clicked, I guess.”

 God, he hopes it finally clicked now. “Well, a girl like you shouldn't settle for anything. Guys like me... They only want one thing. The thing I used to get way too easily if I knew who to ask.”

 “Yeah....” She stands up, pacing around and bracing herself. The soft fabric of her dress is easily carried with the wind every time it blows, but Billy doesn't stare as much as he would if she were anyone else. He looks long enough to respectfully admire her beauty. And yes, that's another thing that took him by surprise. “Is that what you want now?” (Y/N) inquires, and it takes a second for him to understand what she means. “Be honest, Billy. Because I don't want to waste my time and neither should you.”

 “When I want sex, I only have to ask once.” He says as he gets up, voice dead serious. For the first time, he's not playing games. “If they say no, or if they play hard to get, I just go find someone else.” He walks over to her, stopping before her smaller figure. “If that was everything I wanted, I'd have made it clear.”

 “Then tell me with all the words. What do you want with me?” She runs a hand through her hair, and when he notices that she shivers a bit, Billy takes off his jacket. “Hey, don't.” (Y/N) complains, but he's already putting it around her shoulders. “I already have one of your jackets.”

 “Now you'll have two.” He simply says, rubbing her arms. “For the first time in my life, I want something real. I never thought it would happen, and I was hoping it wouldn't because I hate feeling this...” His voice fades.

 “Vulnerable?” She finishes the sentence, and that's exactly the right word. The word he hates, the feeling he hates.

 Billy is a heartbreaker because his heart is broken. He never wanted the risk of another disappointment.

 “Vulnerable.” He repeats, looking down for a few seconds before raising his eyes to her again. “I want this. I want you, not only for one night, or one week.” The words come out fast, and he can't pretend he enjoys saying this. But he needs to let her know.

 “You... You know I'm 23, right?” (Y/N) mutters, and he notices as she steps closer.

 “Soon to be 24.”

 “Soon to be 24.” She repeats.

 “I don't care,” Billy assures her, a hand caressing her cheek. The next words flow out of his mouth almost involuntarily. He knows she's causing this, she's pulling him, like a magnet. And his poor heart has no choice. So the dangerous sentence flows out his tongue. “I think I'm falling in love with you.”

°°°

 At his words, you freeze. Well, your body freezes, because your heart is beating as fast as ever. Did he really say it? Did you hear it right? “D-do you mean it? Because I've been losing my mind and-”

 “I mean every word.” He sounds, brutally, extremely honest. And you believe him.

 “Ok, I-” You're cut off by a sudden commotion, and some lights being turned on. “Movie is over.”

 “Great.” He says, taking your hand. “Let's go have some dinner.”

°°°

 To your surprise, Billy took you to a restaurant. You thought he'd take you to have some pizza or something like that, and you'd be completely fine with it, but the restaurant did surprise you.

 Well, everything about today is surprising, in a good way.

 It's almost midnight now, as he drives you home. After having dinner you stopped at this ice cream parlor and chatted for a while longer. It didn't feel like either of you wanted the night to end. But it's inevitable.

 “Did you have a good time?” Billy asks when he stops at the red light.

 “I did.” Nodding and smiling, you hope he can't see your blushing cheeks. “This was the best date I had.” Quickly, you mentally count the few dates you went to, all of them a failure.

 “On that, we can agree.”

 Then, the last thing that usually happens on a date crosses your mind. It's not a rule, but it's a custom. The good-night kiss. You can find it in any cheesy romantic movie there is, and you can't help but think if this has crossed his mind. But, since you're feeling just a little bit brave, you decide to ask. “So... Are you planning on-”

 A loud, screeching noise cuts you off, coming from the street on your right. And the moment you turn to see, you don't have time to process what's happening because something hits the car hard enough to send it spinning around through the street.

•••

@aunicornmademedoit @alexa4040 @goth-cowgirl-03 @nyctophilic0vitnir @minispice-1

[serenefreakgeekao3]

Apricity

[Table of Contents]

[A/N] Thank you for your patience! A bit of a filler chapter, but a necessary glue to any story. Wanted a bit more interaction with the boys, so here is what we have!

CHAPTER FIVE, Contemplation

Weeks 2&3

Perhaps you were a bit too hasty in setting your goal for the future. Some Gladers, you’ve heard, set goals such as being able to finish a run in the maze without being breathless- or, perhaps, finish building a storage shed all by themself. No, you just had to decide you’d be the one to kill the Griever.

Although, you reasoned with yourself, it’s not like you’d rather anyone else risk their life in such a way. At least you knew how to deal with one, for the most part. Sure, the only way they had died in the books had been from being crushed between a few stone traps in the maze, or falling down off of the edge, never to return. But you could work with that. Well, one of those options, anyway.

The next half of the week had been a bit of a blur for you. You had difficulty remembering how to act properly with these people, whom you’ve suddenly grown shy around. There was no outward reasoning for this- aside, maybe, from the talk you had with Thomas on your first day off of work. You could tell the thought was eating him up inside, but you couldn’t exactly remedy the situation. What were you to say? You had tried acting normal, but it came off as stilted and worried your friends.

You were truly at a loss.

All of this, combined with the fact that you were trying for the life of you to remember anything else. It was like the memories had stopped returning to you after that dream. And, sure, you knew the books. You’d read them once or twice and had watched the movies a few times. But out here, where the artificial sun was shining, and the giant walls smelled of salt of all things? It was hard to correlate those stories with your real life. Your new life.

Then there was the fact that there were obvious differences between the books and the now. Five whole years. You honestly couldn’t believe it, how had it taken Thomas this long? He was even a runner! Wait… How was he a runner?

You blinked a few times, returning to yourself in the present. The day was… Sunday, you think? It was lunchtime, and you were surrounded by most of your friends- excluding the runners. Newt sat across from you, holding your hand the entire time you had been zoned out, trying your best to reconsider your plan or remember any other details about the books that might aid you. You couldn’t think of any. But maybe if you knew more about this timeline…?

“Newt,” You whisper out, trying to catch his attention. The reaction was immediate, his head snapping toward you and leaning in slightly as if giving you his undivided attention. There was a hint of worry in his eyes, accompanied by his hand fidgeting lightly with your fingers. The rest of your table talked amongst themselves, laughing boisterously- none taking notice of your quiet call.

“Yes?” Newt bends forward a bit more, practically leaning over the table. “Do you need anything?”

“I was just wondering,” You hesitate here, biting your lip as you reconsider your next course of action. But, what harm could there be? “I was just wondering how Tommy became a Runner?” You felt Newt freeze in response through your connected hand, watching as his whole body turned rigid. He slowly takes a deep breath, and when he finally exhales his fingers resume their movements against your hand.

“Now, [Y/N],” He bites his lip and your eye is immediately drawn to it. Why was that so sexy, was he distracting you on purpose? “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but the Runners are already full up enough as it is-”

“Oh!” You bark out, immediately throwing your head back and laughing. Newt’s fingers stop fidgeting in your hand, but you tighten your grip on him unconsciously, not wanting to lose contact. Your other hand raises from under the table, shaking back and forth in emphasis. “No, no,” You attempt to control your laughter and breathing, though while still chuckling finally you get out, “No, I just want to know the story. If he had to take some kind of test or if he had to wait a certain amount of time?” You shrug, letting an easy smile fall across your lips to try to ease tensions- though Newt seems to have relaxed his shoulders already. “I just can’t imagine him doing anything else, honestly. That boy is constantly moving.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Newt agrees easily, a half smile playing across his lips as he leans back slightly, resuming a relaxed posture. “He definitely wanted to be a Runner immediately. We had a hard time keeping him pinned down back then, always antsy to run into the maze. Half of us were afraid we’d just wake up and he’d be gone one morning.” You smile, picturing Thomas younger, wondering if he was more restless than he was now. Likely so.

“Did he ever run into the maze before being a Runner?” Newt laughed, shaking his head as he answered easily.

“No, surprisingly. I won a lot of bets the day Minho finally relented and let him train to be a Runner.” You laugh again, turning your head to spy a few people looking in your direction before looking away just as quickly. You meet Newt’s eyes again, leaning forward onto the table.

“So how long did it take before he was accepted in, then?” Newt seemed to ponder this for a while, scrunching his eyebrows in a cute way that distracted you long enough that it surprised you when Newt spoke again.

“A couple of weeks, maybe? It was hard keeping track of time back then, it wasn’t exactly our topmost priority.” He shrugs nonchalantly, though keeps his smile directed toward you. He suddenly leans forward once again, surprising you slightly with the spontaneity of it all. “Is there a reason you’re asking all of this? What’s this sudden interest in Tommy’s past?” He hums, though you can see a playful glint in his eye that shows a lack of true understanding about your intentions. You force your smile to stay, tilting your head to the side as you think about an answer. Finally, you lean in closer as well, his face inches from yours.

“I don’t think it’s a sudden interest at all, actually.” You can see his face lax slightly, losing the smile on his mouth but not from the eyes, and even watch as his gaze drops to your lips for a split second. He leans back just as suddenly as before, clearing his throat lightly. Was there a hint of a blush there?

“So,” Newt stutters out, then raises a fist to his mouth and clears his throat, his blush deepening on his face. “So, any other-”

“[Y/N]!” Your name is called across the dining area, Gally standing with another builder off to the side, obviously ready to get back to work. You jump up, grabbing your tray and smiling down at Newt.

“I guess we’ll have to pick this up another time, then.” You could feel disappointment taking hold, having finally witnessed Newt getting flustered and being pulled away from him immediately. You take your time getting your tray together, waiting for a response from Newt that doesn’t seem to be coming. He’s still staring up at you, something in his eyes that you don’t recognize, but silent. You decide to take your teasing a step further.

Stepping out from the bench, you circle the table as if you’re heading to take your tray back before stopping right next to Newt. You lean down close, your face once again inches from Newt’s own, and can spy the light playing on his light brown eyes, sparkling pleasantly. His blush is back, lighting up his cheeks so prettily, and you can’t help but lick your lips before whispering, his eyes tracking the movement before resting there on your lips.

“I’m also interested in your past, as well,” You could feel a barely-there smile light up your face, and hovering over Newt’s form like this, it felt like waves of warmth were cascading off of him into you. “That is, if you’re willing to share, sometime.” You watch as he licks his own lips after, transfixed by the sight. It’s quiet for a few moments too long as you hear your name called out again. Disappointed once again, you begin to pull away before suddenly Newt grabs your arm quickly, holding you still.

“Anytime,” He whispers back, his voice slightly hoarse, and the truth shines in his eyes. Nothing you did could help the smile that lit up your face, and as Newt finally releases you, he grabs his own tray and walks with you back to the kitchen.

“You and Newt seem to be getting pretty close.”

Gally’s words surprised you, having been working in silence the majority of the day. You were sweating, working harder today than most of your other days, but Gally has been working alongside you every step of the way. It seemed as if he didn’t quite trust you yet to be on your own, but you weren’t really complaining. Having a friend nearby while working made the day go by quicker, even if in silence. Well, usually in silence.

You look up at Gally with a squint from where you were kneeling, hammering a nail into a floorboard on the porch of the homestead. He stood there, arms crossed with a stern expression. You blink a few times, then lower your gaze once more to the work you’re doing. You wait until you finish your hammering before finally responding.

“I’ve always been pretty close with Newt.”

“Not that close.” You look up again to see him looking off in a different direction and follow his line of sight toward the farmlands. You wonder for a moment what he means before you remember what happened during lunch, and the fact that Gally had been waiting for you while you spoke so closely with Newt. You stand slowly, placing the hammer in your tool belt and brushing your hands off.

“Is that a problem?” Gally looks back at you with a quirked eyebrow, laughing inwardly as his chest shakes.

“What, you think I’m jealous?”

“I don’t know what to think?” Gally smirks, leaning against the wall of the homestead, nodding.

“Ah, so there is something going on between you two then?” You hesitate, frozen. Shaking your head, you try to laugh to play it off.

“What? No, I never said-”

“You don’t have to say it. It’s plain as day.” You blink a few times, unsure what to say before he finally pushes off of the wall, shrugging. “I don’t mind at all. I don’t think anyone out here would mind besides Thomas.” He begins his descent down the few stairs of the porch, walking off toward the Builder’s shed. You hesitate, then hurry to follow, your mind racing.

“What do you mean, Thomas would mind?”

“Well,” Gally wags his head back and forth, as if in thought. “I mean, everyone knows there has always been something between the both of them. They never made it official or anything, but they slept next to each other every single night since Thomas got here. They spend every second they are able to together, and always consult each other before deciding anything important.” He shrugs again, and you struggle to keep up with his fast walking pace.

“But,” You stutter slightly, shaking your head in thought. “I sleep next to them both?” Gally laughs, nodding along.

“Yeah, I noticed that too.” You both finally arrive at the shed, and you take a step inside as Gally holds the door open for you. As the door finally swings closed, Gally just smirks at you- though you couldn’t help but notice a slight bit of discomfort, or pity in his gaze. “I’m just saying. They act a lot like how Ben and I act together.” He walks forward a few steps to close the distance between the two of you, roughly placing a hand on your shoulder. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt, kid.”

“I won’t-” You cut yourself off, biting your lip. You could feel your eyebrows draw down in disappointment, taking in a deep breath. Finally, you instead say, “I’m not a kid.” Gally just laughs in response, taking his hand back and busying himself with what was on the nearby table.

“Sure, you’re not.”

A few days have passed, and it's your day off once more. You couldn’t be any more thankful that Thomas happens to have the same day off as you, being able to spend more time with him. You almost hated the fact that he was a Runner- gone for most of the day, the only real time you have with him being during dinner and the small time after before bed. But that time was spent not just with him, but with your entire friend group. And Minho tended to demand the majority of the attention for himself.

Wednesdays, however, meant that you had an entire day with Thomas- the majority of which all of your friends were working their own jobs. You weren’t even worried about the pressing issue- well, that’s a lie, but you definitely try to put it out of your head for a day. But, is that bad? Putting this off for a day when you know how to get everyone out? Shouldn’t you be trying your best every day to get out? Do they even want out?

“[Y/N]?” You’re startled out of your thoughts by Thomas, who stands in front of you where you sit on the bench at one of the dining tables. He’s bent in half at the waist, leaning to the side with his head tilted as if trying to meet your downturned gaze. You lift up quickly at his acknowledgement, trying to smile toward him in a friendly way and put everything you were thinking about behind you. You could tell Thomas didn’t quite buy it, his face with a sad smile and his posture drooping.

“Hey! I was just waiting for you!” You smile brighter, swinging your feet over the side of the bench to stand up and move toward Thomas. However, he moved over toward you at the same time, and as you finally gained your footing, you tripped trying to stop yourself from taking a step forward. You fall into Thomas, his arms immediately circling around you to keep you stable.

“Woah, hey,” Thomas laughs, and the sound of it alone warms your heart. “I was just seeing if you wanted to hang out again today?” He seems to realize belatedly that his arms still encircle you, then drops his arms quickly before raising a hand to the back of his head in embarrassment. You feel the loss of his arms prominently, wishing they could’ve stayed a little longer. “No pressure, though!”

“Of course I do!” You lean in closer to Thomas, almost falling over once more in your attempt to minimize the distance between the two of you. “I’ve been so distracted lately, I could really use a break from my own brain.” Thomas looks you up and down, a barely-there blush lighting up his features. His skin was more tan than Newt’s own, so his blush wasn’t nearly as apparent as the pale boy’s. This only made you feel more determined to see it light up his cheeks. And chest, it looks like, as the blush begins to travel down into his lightweight shirt. You startle, quickly drawing your eyes back up to meet his, hoping you weren’t caught checking him out. “I’ve also been wanting to spend more time with you, I feel like we never see each other.”

Thomas practically jumps at your last sentence, throwing his hands out theatrically. “Yes! That! I feel like that too!” He suddenly wraps a long arm around your shoulders, turning you to the side and pulling you along with him. The move was a very Minho-style thing to do, though you suppose it’s only right considering he spends the majority of his time with him. “And last week was fun and all, running around playing games, but I didn’t learn nearly as much about you as I wanted to. I wanna know everything about you- like, what do you think about Gally’s drink?”

“Gally’s drink?” You couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up from inside your chest, shaking your head at the random question. “That’s what you ask?”

“What?” Thomas sounds defensive, but you can still hear the smile in his voice. “You work pretty closely with Gally now, right?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m drinking his concoction when I’m at work.” You playfully smack his chest with the back of your hand, and the two of you come to a stop near a large tree on the outskirts of the Deadheads. There’s a bench sitting under the tree that Thomas takes a seat at- you hadn’t really noticed the bench was here before, not really having a need for it, but it’s a rather cinematic position once you take a seat next to Thomas. You could practically see the whole Glade from here- minus the Deadheads behind you.

“Sure, sure. But you work with Gally, and the only things I really know about him are that he likes to wrestle and he makes that drink. So I was just wondering, I guess.” Thomas shrugs, and you try to keep up with the line of thought, but end up giving up in the end. What does it matter how he got to the conclusion, anyhow? Might as well answer.

“Well, it’s…” You trail off, biting your lip in thought. You couldn’t find a polite way to say it, eventually settling with, “It’s strong.” Thomas’ boisterous laugh draws your attention, and you face him with a smile. Your chest burns with pleasant feelings, and you can’t believe you are sitting here, staring at Thomas- having a conversation with Thomas. The book character.

“Strong?” He asks, raising a hand to wipe a nonexistent tear from his eye. “That’s all you have?”

“What?” You shrug, unconcerned about his incredulity. “It is.” Thomas continues to laugh for a moment, and you bask in the sunshine that is this man. This was a good idea, you think to yourself, to take a break from your constant pressing thoughts. Eventually, you realize that Thomas has stopped laughing and is instead staring directly at you, just like you are with him. His smile is soft and lovely, and you can’t look away.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Thomas whispers, and you lean forward ever-so-slightly to hear him better, though the only sounds surrounding the two of you currently were the light ambient mumbles of far-off Gladers. He leans forward in a mimic of you, but you can’t tear your eyes away from his dark brown, swirling eyes. They were almost hypnotic, in a way. “It almost felt like…” He trails off for a moment, and you’re desperately wondering what he was trying to say before he finally continues, “It almost felt like we were waiting for something. For someone. And now that you’re here, I feel like I’m not waiting any more.”

You chuckle awkwardly, finally looking away from the boy as you feel your cheeks flush. You open your mouth, shaking your head in disbelief as you try to come up with anything to say. Just as you’re beginning to voice your sentence- something that you weren’t even quite sure of before it came out- Thomas ends up interrupting you, taking one of your hands and fidgeting with it.

“I know, I know. I sound ridiculous, everyone always says so-”

“No,” You interrupt quickly, turning your gaze to meet his eyes once again. He had been eyeing your joined hands as he spoke, but as you look at him he also looks up, and you can see the hope sitting there plain as day. “No, not ridiculous. I understand what you mean, I-” You hesitate, unsure how to continue without sounding like a crazy person. You knew he was waiting on you, considering they all should’ve been out of here by now? Or, maybe not waiting for you specifically, just something that you know how to do. It was still a bit confusing, and you shake your head in frustration. “You’re not ridiculous.” You end it there, letting your gaze drop to the grass once again. Thomas is quiet for a few beats, before he finally speaks up, his voice a whisper.

“Are you okay?” Out of all of the questions you’d expected, that wasn’t one of them. You lift your gaze to his once again, studying the concern lying there. His fidgeting of your fingers is slower, but still present as you sit there contemplating what to say. You bite your lip as you think, and watch his eyes track the movement.

“If you knew of a way out of here, would you do it?” Thomas nods immediately, meeting your eyes with an intense and serious expression.

“Of course, I would. Immediately.”

“And bring everyone with you?” He nods again, his brow furrowing.

“Yes, of course. Everyone.” You hesitate, taking in a deep breath as you remember back to the skittering and harsh metallic sounds of the Grievers.

“Even if it was dangerous?” Your voice is barely a whisper- barely there enough that you’re almost surprised Thomas had heard it. He doesn’t answer you right away, but his expression changes just slightly enough to know that he understood what you said. When he finally does speak up, his voice doesn’t hold any bit of blame or suspicion that you thought it might.

“Why are you asking that? Did you remember something from Wicked?” You immediately scan the area around the two of you quickly at the sound of their name, looking for those tiny red blinking bugs that like to listen to them. Seeing none, your shoulders relax slightly and meet Thomas’ eyes once again. He hadn’t moved his gaze, but he seemed understanding and patient as you looked around. You sigh, shaking your head, trying to put off an air of confidence with your lie.

“No, I don’t remember anything else. I just–” You sigh again, pulling his hand lightly where you two are joined, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” You watch his gaze soften, immediately taking what you’ve said to heart. It feels weird to be believed so easily, especially amidst the pain of having to lie to these people again and again.

“I won’t,” Thomas whispers, pulling you in by your hand as well, then wrapping an arm around you to hold you close. He presses his lips to your head, mumbling against your hair. “I won’t get hurt- I won’t leave you guys behind.”

You were working again, a few days following your day off, and you’d finally slipped up. Now granted, ‘slipping up’ when you’re a builder tends to mean something far worse than accidentally destroying a crop or dropping a bucket of milk in the mud. You were on the ladder, Gally holding it steady below you, as you cleaned out the gutters of the Homestead. You could hear a commotion below you, but you ignored the general yelling and enthusiasm of the builders below you. It was toward the end of your shift, and you were just hoping to get this job done with time to spare. That might’ve been your first mistake.

It was a series of unfortunate mishaps that led to the ultimate conclusion. The builders were making a ruckus below you, one calling your name and distracting you from your job. You glanced down just in time to watch Gally punch the guy’s arm, likely admonishing him for distracting you- a habit of his, making sure no one distracts whoever is working on the ladder. Unfortunately for you, however, when you turned to look, a few globs of the slimy leaves that fill the gutters fell onto your feet and the ladder rungs below you- with you none the wiser. You reach back up, trying your best to reach the last little bit as you feel a slight slip of your boot.

Mistakably sure of your footing, you stretch to your tip-toes, just as you hear your name get called again. This time, by Gally. The shock of hearing his voice causes you to jerk toward him harshly, your foot slipping out from beneath you. You fell- not very far, mind you- down toward the ground. Gally was there to catch you, as was another builder who stood nearby, but the velocity of your fall caused the three of you to tumble into a pile on the ground.

Groaning was heard from all three of you as you all pushed to sit yourselves up, sighing and glancing around. You’re confused as to what happened, looking up to the ladder that still leaned against the Homestead. The builder to your side begins laughing as you finally spot the bit of slippery gunk on the ladder rung, realizing your mistake. You begin to laugh as well, and Gally just huffs out a heavy sigh, as if both relieved and annoyed at your antics. Gally is the first to push himself up, offering a hand to the builder and helping him up first.

Gally’s offered hand to help you up was likely the only reason you didn’t fall straight back down onto your butt. You cry out as pain shoots up your right leg, hissing as you look down. There’s no blood, and nothing obviously bent out of place. That was a good sign at least.

“You good?” Gally grunts out, scanning you with his eyes as he does his own little once-over. You nod, holding in a grunt as you focus on applying the majority of your weight onto your left foot.

“Yeah. Well- I mean, my right ankle is killing me.” Gally’s shoulders relax, meeting your eyes with a nod.

“Alright, probably just a sprain. Let’s get you to the Medjacks.”

Gally was right, of course. He’d likely seen his fair share of injuries, considering his position in the Builders. You were resting on a cot in the Medjack’s hut, your leg raised and resting on a pillow, an ice pack sitting on top of it. You were told to just chill there for a while until the swelling went down, then they’d wrap the foot and send you on your way. If you were honest, you were a bit bored. They’d had Chuck ferry your food to you, so at the very least you didn’t miss dinner, but you did miss the company you usually kept. You wondered if Thomas and Newt knew where you were, if they were worried about you or whether they just moved on with a shrug. You couldn’t picture them not caring about-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the loud, booming echo of laughter- an unmistakable sort. Minho walked through the Medjack’s door, clutching an arm to his chest while still laughing with good humour. He peeked behind him through the door one last time before taking a few more steps inside, his laughter dying down, but grin remaining firmly in place. Clint approached him, sighing with exasperation.

“I thought I’ve said it enough times today, no visitors-”

“Ah, Doc’, don’t deny a bleeding man!” Minho jests playfully- that is until he extends the arm clutched to his chest. You suck in a breath, seeing blood soaked into his shirt and covering his entire forearm.

“Minho- shuck it, what happened?” Clint is quick and methodical, dragging him over to a nearby bed- the bed next to your own- and immediately dragging over an empty bucket along the floor. He begins to pour water on his arm, the bucket catching the water as it falls to the floor, cleaning off the wound as Minho hisses.

“Ah, you know. Shucking around in the Deadheads again.” Clint huffs out an annoyed breath, glaring up at the injured man.

“I told you lot to stay away from those brambles. I said you’d get yourselves hurt, and look at you now.” You relax slowly as Clint continues to wash away the blood, and you realize the injury isn’t anywhere near as bad as it had looked originally. He had a small but deep wound on his arm, and likely just took his time getting back here.

“I wasn’t over by the brambles, Clint.” The Medjack glares up at him, obviously disbelieving. “Swear on it! I was not near those brambles.” The way he says this makes even you narrow your eyes toward him, and somehow Minho catches you. He eyes you for a moment, a smirk lighting up his face as he winks toward you. “We just found another bit of them. Off to the side, a little.”

“Remind me, how are you a Keeper, again?” Clint mumbles under his breath, obviously not expecting an answer as he grabs ahold of some gauze and a bandage wrap. Minho scoffs out a laugh, shrugging a shoulder.

“Seniority?” You laugh at the unexpected gibe against himself, meeting his eyes once again. You watch him theatrically scan your form, his eyes lingering on the cold pack sitting on your ankle. “So, what happened to the Greenie?”

“You should be more worried about yourself,” Clint answers immediately, his voice tired. It seemed like an automatic response, and you wonder how nosy the people in the Glade really are if his automatic response to asking about someone is to keep the details away. You hold back a laugh as Clint’s back is turned, meeting Minho’s eyes with a shrug.

“I slipped off of a ladder, sprained my ankle. Nothing too bad, all things considered.” Minho nods, but you see something in his eyes that causes you to hesitate. There’s nothing there that recognizes this as new information, almost as if he’d already known coming in here. That wouldn’t be too surprising, considering they’re all friends with Gally, but does that mean that Thomas and Newt do know?

Minho is somehow able to stay quiet long enough for Clint to finish his bandage. Minho keeps his eyes on you as Clint mumbles some sort of excuse and moves away from the two of you, giving you both a sense of pseudo-privacy. Minho’s face relaxes just slightly enough that you begin to think he’s not being playful anymore.

“They’re worried about you, you know.” Minho’s voice is quiet when he speaks, proving your theory. You blink a few times, taking in his words before finally tilting your head in confusion. “Newt and Thomas. They’re worried.”

“No- I mean, yeah,” You sigh, nodding, “I knew who you were talking about. Why are they worried?” Minho’s smile spreads, but purses in a way like he’s trying to keep from smiling and failing miserably.

“Because you’re in here. They keep trying to visit you but Clint won’t allow it.” You laugh at this, shaking your head in disbelief.

“But all that’s wrong with me is a sprained ankle?”

“Oh, trust me. They know.” Minho rolls his eyes, then turns his head to glance toward the close exit to the building. You’re quiet for a minute before finally asking the question on your mind.

“Why won’t Clint let them visit?”

“Because,” Clint interrupts, suddenly appearing beside your bed and lifting the ice pack from your foot. “As you said, all you have is a sprained ankle- I don’t need the leaders of the Glade making a circus of my hut. It just needed to be iced for a few hours, and now I’m going to wrap it and you’re going to go out there and calm everyone down.” You laugh as if this is a joke, but the laughter dies down at the look that Clint gives you. You turn your head toward Minho, hoping he at least would assure you that Clint was joking, but Minho’s raised eyebrows say something else entirely.

“Calm them down? Are they really that worried?”

“I had to post two people outside of my door so that I would stop getting interrupted,” Clint answers your question that you had technically asked Minho, and you look back toward him with amazement. A few moments ago you had thought that they’d both forgotten about you- now you’re hearing that they’re practically tearing the door down trying to get to you? Over a sprained ankle?

“Did you like your dinner at least?” Minho’s question seems out of place, and you furrow your brows as you glance at the empty dining tray and back to him.

“Yes?” You draw the word out as a question, tilting your head toward him once again.

“Well, good. Newt spent enough time trying to jam as much of your favourites onto it as possible. I think he might’ve threatened good ole’ Chuckie to make sure he didn’t steal any of your food.” You laugh again, this time in disbelief, and shake your head. You’ll have to speak with Chuck later to figure out exactly what happened there.

Clint finishes wrapping your foot, guiding you to stand and holding out a meticulously carved cane. You use the cane gratefully, nodding at Clint with thanks. He lets you know that you’re free to go, but asks Minho to stay an extra second, saying something about keeping away infection and wandering over to his wall of cabinets. You decide to wait for Minho, intending to walk out together, however your eyes follow Clint along the cabinets as he opens up multiple different ones, obviously searching for something. Clint grumbles under his breath about reorganization, meanwhile, Minho is speaking animatedly about something or other that had happened in the maze. That is to say, you would’ve been paying attention if your eyes hadn’t zeroed in on the cabinet Clint opens next.

Multiples of tiny bottles, practically glowing blue with syringes lying underneath them line this cabinet, and Clint closes it quickly as if he probably shouldn’t have opened it. But you recognized it. You didn’t think you would at first glance, but it’s definitely hard to mistake. Grief Serum. So they had the medicine that would save their lives if they ever had been stung by the Grievers, but do they know that? Did they realize what they had lying in wait in their cabinet? Better yet- could you use that to your own advantage? The scariest part about fighting the Griever is knowing about its sting- the variation of the Flare that could kill if not treated properly.

A plan begins to form in your head finally- something that you’ve been waiting for this whole time. You didn’t know what you would do with all of the information you’d been remembering before, but now it was all lining up. As Minho continues to drone on obliviously, you nod along and prepare to distract yourself long enough to settle Thomas and Newt’s nerves once you leave the building, but your mind races with this newfound knowledge. You finally knew how you would save the Glade.

[mistype360]

Going back to that Fe/Fi question from last week, I want to give more info, bcs you threw me off the bridge with that one, as I thought I'm fi user, so now I have to wonder if I'm dom Fe and look out for Si or Ni which both I see none besides the stupid stereotypes of having memory or not being able to rest without a future plan. I'm someone who stops talking if they see that the other person isn't fully there and not listening to me, why would I, I want a conversation, and and my thoughts will be wasted to their 'mhm'. I don't care about their feelings but I think it's rude to not listen and be fully there is someone is talking to you. I'm someone who snaps and becomes cold and ironic when in a bad mood, someone who wants to speak up every time their coworkers are talking shit about gender issues but tries to bite their tongue bcs being comfortable in that social circle while being weird was already hard enough, and yet I still somehow find myself saying controversial stuff when the mood hits. I'm someone who performs carrying about things I don't feel much about, bcs how I feel and not feel is my own deal, and when I will feel something you will know, like I can't hide, you'll read it on my face. The shitty thing is I don't know whether I judge things based on how I want/ don't want things to be or whether I judge it based on how objective morality works, bcs I think I do my own thing, but then shit happens so fast I can't catch it in action, only after. I might think someone is stupid and brainwashed crying about something at work, but if they're on a brink of a panic attack, I will come and try to be someone they need right now to calm them down, bcs I know how scary it is to meet such a huge emotion alone. But I have no delusion that anything I'll say means anything bcs a) I'm trying to calm them down and might say questionable stuff, even if I'm trying real hard to not speculate and not say things I can't base reality on, b) we're strangers. I know this rant means nothing and is useless for typing, but Fe? Really? Social maneuvering for survival still Fe? Maybe you would reconsider? Joking, but kind of not. Thanks anyways for your answers.

i think by the way it was described last time it seemed still like fe. from how i interpreted it, the fe user tiptoes around people in conversation to avoid creating unnecessary conflict. they are more attuned and conscious of other people rather than towards themselves, even if they have their own beliefs - really it just comes with more ease to be able to put aside their values.

but with more info this description, i can agree, might be more fi. the way you respond to others' struggles is entirely dependent upon your own values, where a fe user would not change their reaction. if you say it happens in the spur of the moment, it can still qualify as fi, which usually still functions at a subconscious level. even how you say that you won't continue to express your opinions when you don't think the other person is as engaged is very very much, fi. for the social maneuvering part, take for example your values regarding gender issues, i think the fact that you have to bite back your tongue in the first place means that you are fi over fe.

[mcbitchtits]

well it's been a year since dial of destiny, a movie which isn't bad but much like everything else disney is doing lately is not as good as it could have been. and i mean, i think i'm pretty harsh on it all things considered; that comes of being a fanatic. credit where credit's due, it is a fun movie because it's an indiana jones movie (which isn't, yknow, a given; i think the upcoming bethesda game is going to be deeply uninteresting in this regard), and i think mangold tried very hard to be true to the other four. however, i can never forgive him for the weird fuckery with the score and, uh, frankly, it's just not that funny? it's kind of a downer movie. like crystal skull was bizarre and i wish we hadn't done that particular macguffin, so points for going greek (even if i think the antithykera-as-designed-on-screen was Fugly™), but KotCS was also humorous and fun. Dial of Destiny worked hard but whiffed on a lot of things and i really don't understand how you get john williams to fuck up on a classic movie score. reconsider your choices.

anyway, a fun story from last year (technically a year ago yesterday)

went to the "midnight showing" at THREE FUCKING PM IN THE GODDAMN AFTERNOON, which is a crime against humanity, on a big classic Hollywood theater IMAX screen. audience was uh idk maybe half full; it's a biiiiiig theater, but that was still disappointing. got friends. got snacks. got beverages with fedoras on them. gorgeous silver-era movie palace red velvet curtains open and we get the requisite trailers (let's see if i can remember... one of them was that robot kid movie, and one was oppenheimer; can't recall if there were others. i think we had three or four total though.) possibly the lights dimmed more here. screen rolls into Disney logo and Paramount logo and people are cheering and into Lucasfilm logo and straight into the action. Indy's being dragged around the Nazi castle hooded. THE CURTAIN STARTS CLOSING. people start pointing and chattering. indy is being questioned as the curtains draw over the screen and now we're getting all the action and the english-from-german subtitles all over them. they keep closing. the movie keeps rolling. the curtains move very very slowly. 1944 Voller crops up on screen with the spear of destiny in a crate! the curtains are almost very nearly closed again at this point. we are projecting straight onto red velvet. evil nazi boss whose name i can't remember humors him and says "Do as he says. Open it." and basically the whole audience starts shouting "DO AS HE SAYS! OPEN IT!" "OPEN IT! OPEN THE CURTAINS"

it was a good moment. it's why i miss midnight releases. again, i think disney/lucasfilm dropped the ball on a lot (and continues to) but the whole entertainment sphere seems to have given up on actually making experiences, which is sad. but this moment was hilarious. perfect anecdote.

[dufferpuffer]

He is in some way responsible, yeah. Of course.

But I'll change your mind, sure! Challenge accepted:

He is not AS responsible as Peter. Not NEARLY. Snapes side:

He joined the Death Eaters as a child. A Slytherin child, recently cut off from his only friend. He was skilled in ways nobody appreciated... aside from the powerful group of elites who every year were gathering more power... and even though he isnt a Pureblood they want him because he is just such a clever and talented little boy- What im saying is he was groomed into a cult. A cult whose punishment for desertion or betrayal is death.

As a 21yr old surrounded by the cult, who has accepted him as long as he makes sure he stays useful like a good little boy - he got information the Dark Lord would KILL for. But he didn't know who it related to. The moment he found out he was on damage control. He begged an old powerful wizard who could (and would) kill him simply for taking out of line to reconsider his plans. To not do it at all... or to at least spare the mother. And while Voldemort could have slapped the man to next sunday, if not kill him, he was like - "Eh, you know what? I'll try. We did try to recruit her THREE TIMES... maybe you can convince her when her husbands dead."

He could have stopped there. Crossed his fingers and had faith in his Dark Lord. If the Potters were unaware, maybe it would have worked and he could attempt to have a chance with Lily if he played his cards right... but no: Snape then went and begged ANOTHER old powerful wizard, one he had BETRAYED, who could kill him and get away with it, who could get him imprisoned in Azkaban for the rest of his life... He warned him. He begged him to hide them ALL. This 21yr old man has put his neck on the chopping block 3 times: - Begging the Dark Lord. - Betraying/Begging Dumbledore. - Betraying the Dark Lord. Just to save her life. Save all their lives.

He had everything to lose by betraying Voldemort. Hell, he could have gained if the potters were killed smoothly and Lily left alive. But he did the right thing anyway. He made one mistake - he accidentally put someone he cared about in harms way - and then he was INSTANTLY on damage control. FOREVER.

Wormtail's Side:

He had a whole group of friends who adored him and supported him. He was included in their lives well after school, visiting the Potters and meeting the baby... he was loved and considered a sweet friend. Then he betrayed them all.

And I would REALLY like to give him more credit than that. I'd like to pretend he was tortured until he didn't know what he was saying or something, but that simply isn't the case: He willingly gave up the information so he could gain protection from Voldemort because he wanted to be on 'the winning side'. He didn't go 'oh shit what have I done' and try to warn anyone. He didn't fake his own death to 'get away from Sirius' and then reveal himself to have survived so he could do things right, help Dumbledore, help Remus, help keep Harry safe... He even ran off and within 2 months managed to find Voldemort and nurse him back into a body! AFTER HARRY SPARED HIS LIFE! ... You could say that simply the deed of giving Voldemort information puts Snape on equal guilt with Wormtail. I can see that. But I think other things are important to consider when judging someones actions: Intent, context, motive, followup... There's putting every hard-earned morsel you have, even at great risk to yourself and your desires, on the line in order to fix a mistake you made in a difficult situation... ...and then there's Wormtail.

Gonna leave it here since people seem to forget it.

[mcalhenwrites]

Now that Geckos is out, I plan to work on the side stories for a little collection of them. "Don't" and "Dancing Bones" will be edited, but I plan to post them online for free as well as put them in the story collection.

It'll likely only be an ebook, though, and it'll have a few more stories. That includes a finished version of "Late Returns" (what I've posted is only the first part of a WIP). I want to get back to Stargazers' Hill and the Warren/Henry story that isn't titled yet, but right now, Seasons has taken over my brain again. I'm editing and reposting chapters on AO3. I thought people might be upset that I was reposting it, but so far the reception has been kind. ;A; (I still feel bad somehow? But that's on me.) After publishing Geckos and having an amazing day in the next town over, the following day was... not so great. We had storms. I'm gonna be vague for location reasons, but I live in one of the towns hit by a tornado the other day. I saw a map of it, and uh, I could've seen the tornado out my bedroom window if it had hit during the day instead of at night where visibility is shit. And if I hadn't been huddled in the downstairs hallway with my cats and roommate. I was panicked about the weather all day, and that was worse because it was the anniversary of Andover 1991 (a tornado). I lived through that. Uh, very luckily I lived through that, it hit my neighborhood and was scary close to my house, to the point the sirens 50 ft away or so were drowned out by the sound of the tornado. We had no basement and no good inner rooms or closets in such a tiny house at the time. I've been through other tornadoes since then, but none were as terrifying as that one. Before the tornado and after the reminder that it was Andover 1991 aniversary... I also got an email that I didn't get a job that would've been good for my disabilities. Like, worked around it well and not been too straining on me. Plus I would've worked with animals. I'm struggling financially, so writing is the only way I'm getting any income - outside of crocheting, and I don't want to fucking do that for money. I want my hobby back. I want to make gifts. I want to make OC dolls. I want my limited physical spoons for crocheting to be for ENJOYMENT. Not so stressful it makes me fucking hate crocheting. Which... yeah, I'm kind of there again. That said, I have made a few book sales, but... Well, I'll keep trying. I've got other novels cooking. I'll double down my focus, maybe. I will sketch more. Maybe I'll reconsider using something like Patreon, which... don't love, but like. What can you love? Every site is screwing over creators in some way or another. :'( It's depressing, actually, bc I hop on facebook, and I can't see ANY posts of the people and groups I follow, but you know what I DO see? Fucking suggested pages for AI art. I really hope all the people who gentrified the tiny house movement get scammed into buying stupid fake tiny houses due to AI images and end up taking legal action eventually that helps to bring about the (hopefully inevitable) death of AI? I'm mean, but like, tiny houses and mobile homes and caravans and shit like that were houses before rich people decided they were cute and they went up to $200k-$300k. I wanted a tiny house bc I thought, "at least I might someday afford this" but nah. They took even that away. So enjoy your shitty "this is perfect for me" gushing when the fucking pillows are melted into the planks and the switches for the oven and stovetop are underneath the burners! Anyway! I should probably do more writing and take my anemic ass to bed soon. It's been... a shitty couple of days. I'm trying to be cheerful and remain optimistic and just boost Geckos, Automata... but eh. I'm also trying to survive when everything is against that. I had a suicidal thought earlier today that I should just gulp down all the pills I can get my hands on and be done with things. yay. (I won't. It was a passing thought. A desperate "oh god I can't afford to live and I should give up, I'm in my late 30s and nothing ever gets better" thought.)