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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 9 months ago

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All right, I did a post yesterday about the Cowgate incident of 2003, which started because I read the disappointing news that the site of the incident will be closed to the public when I'm in Edinburgh this summer, and I literally read it during a brief period of being awake in the middle of a fever dream. And then of course I made a post about it, because if you wake up in the middle of a fever dream, you always have to post about the real-life incident that most resembles the content of an actual fever dream.

This made me realize it's been a little while since I've actually watched that video, I went through a year or so of re-watching it at least once a week (mainly because it became a go-to re-watch when drunk, particularly near the end of the night when I no longer wanted to focus on anything coherent or longer than a few minutes, personally I'd never want to be at a comedy show while drunk but I do see why they'd do this for a drunk crowd, it appeals to that side of the brain), but I hadn't seen it in six months or so. I thought, I've probably been building this up in my head a bit in the six months of not actually watching it. The idea of Cowgate as a weird drunken fever dream (though one enjoyable thing about it is that besides Adam Hills and the entire audience I'm pretty sure the people involved were sober, as that was sort of the Chocolate Milk Gang's thing, getting their name specifically because they were the only people who didn't get drunk at late-night Edinburgh shows, instead they went for milkshakes across the road) had become a running joke in my mind and sometimes my Tumblr references, but at this point it's more of a symbol than anything else. After writing that post that ran with the joke of it being an iconic violent ritual, I thought it would be fun to spend some of my sick day at home re-watching the actual video, expecting to find that it just looks like relatively expected raucous comedy show shenanigans, not quite as mind-breakingly weird as I remember.

...Guys, it's exactly as I remembered. It's so weird. I've made multiple deep dive Cowgate posts before, but not for at least six months (I think the last time I did it one was for the 20th anniversary, August 26 last year, so almost exactly six months, actually), and I think six months should be long enough to make me allowed to repeat myself on the subject. Because there's almost nothing I haven't said before, but watching it again made me want to say it all again. And I do mean almost - I think I did discover one new detail while watching it between fever dreams yesterday. It's pretty good.

Okay, first of all, here's the video in all its glory:

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I cannot emphasize enough how much the first time I came across this it was 2 AM and I had no context for understanding where they were or what was going on. Since then, I have figured out: it's a show called Late 'n' Live. It takes place on many nights throughout the Edinburgh Festival, at a venue called the Gilded Balloon. The Gilded Balloon is owned by Karen Koren. It burned down in 2002 and was rebuilt nearby, this video is from 2003, in the rebuilt venue on Teviot Place. The Late 'n' Live event runs from around 11:30 PM to around 3:30 AM and consists of a bunch of comedians who come on, sometimes to do their own sets and sometimes to do shit like this, managed by a compere, and after that they bring out a band and it turns into a dance floor. At this time, it was known for being a bearpit with a drunk and rough crowd that sometimes got violent. For several years in the late '90s and early '00s, it was famous compered by Johnny Vegas. It was then compered, throughout the early- and mid-00s, by Daniel Kitson. I mean I think there was some crossover, obviously they didn't just have one compere for an entire month and people besides those two guys did it too, some people had to get some sleep at some point. Anyway, these are all things that I know as a direct result of the rabbit hole I went down after finding this video and needing to understand what the ever loving fuck was going on in it. I actually know a lot more than that about Late 'n' Live, but there isn't time for it all right now. I've watched a four-part BBC Scotland documentary series about the history of Late 'n' Live. I watched a Tim Minchin documentary mainly because I like Tim Minchin but a little bit because it had a lot of the Gilded Balloon in it and that was relevant to my Late 'n' Live research. I have an entire folder on my hard drive called Late 'n' Live and it has too many files in it.

One of them's a gif of David O'Doherty throwing his entire body with abandon onto different things at Late 'n' Live in different years: onto Jason Byrne in 2003, onto the floor in 2005, and onto Daniel Kitson in 2007. All clips I found in entirely different sources and decided they needed to be together.

Anyway. I'm getting off topic. Already. Cowgate. The point is Cowgate. I named the incident Cowgate because that's the name of the neighbourhood where the original Gilded Balloon was, and, you know, it was a cow. A cow and what looked like it had to be some sort of scandal. I think it's very clever.

So here's the thing. After I first found that video, which seemed like a tiny relic of one of many moments of one of many nights on one of many years that this stuff went on, and I set about obsessively looking things up for weeks to try to figure out what they were doing, in the process I came across a second video that also happened to capture the same moment. Amazing stuff.

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The former video was on the Gilded Balloon's YouTube channel, and seemed to have been filmed officially by the venue staff. This latter one was a montage of videos taken throughout the night by an audience member who apparently had whatever people used to film things at gigs in 2003. Wouldn't have been a camera phone back then.

This video shed a bit of light on some of the essential mysteries of Cowgate, but didn't actually answer many, and to be honest it asked more questions than it answered. Obviously, one of the main questions I had about Cowgate was "Where did the cow come from?" I'd wondered whether the Chocolate Milk Gang had somehow procured it, or whether they took something that was already there. Both options would open up a lot more questions, such as where did they get it, and if it wasn't there because they specifically put it there for the purposes of taking it apart, how did they get permission to take it apart?

The longer video suggests that it's the latter. It shows Daniel Kitson earlier in the night, messing around with the cow the way he might if its presence on stage were a surprise to him as well as to the audience.

The other essential question is "Why did they attack it?", and this earlier scene may suggest a possible reason. From the dialogue, it seems that Kitson jumped on top of it because the crowd told him to, and then the crowd keeps shouting other cow-based challenges at him, and he makes fun of them for suggesting challenges that are too easy (jump off it, touch it, etc.). The video then cuts, but it is possible that he challenged the crowd to ask him to do something difficult with it, and they said to tear it apart, and then it escalated. That scene seems to be from the beginning of the night, and we know the actual Cowgate ritual was the last thing that happened in the night, because right after they finish Kitson brings the band out and that occurs after the comedy ends. So it's possible that they could have come up with the challenge at the beginning, spent a few hours sourcing various weapons, and then done this at the end.

That theory of course brings up other questions, like how they decided on the weaponry. And, again, why they were allowed to do that. The answer to that question depends on where the cow came from, which I still don't know. I once spent a week looking up the International Cow Parade because I thought maybe it was part of that, but I don't think so anymore. It has the word Metro on the side of it, and someone in the YouTube comments called it the Metro cow. So it was probably an advertisement, not an art piece. But I wouldn't have thought your allowed to take apart a company's advertising installation. Maybe it was going to be destroyed after the festival anyway? Also, why was there a cow-based Metro advertisement on the floor at a comedy gig anyway?

I'd like to go through the video in further detail, as I've done many times before, but not for six months so I think I'm allowed a new one, and also I've come up with one (1) new fact (theory) so that's worth doing the whole thing again. I've just spent two days sick in bed, please allow me to indulge in this.

- Right at the beginning, the "three chances" thing still confuses me. That line really suggests that this is a challenge, not just a weird stunt, that they are being tested to see if they can do it. Possibly tested by an audience that was told to come up with a more difficult idea for something the comedians could try with a cow.

But what are the paramatres of the challenge? To take the cow apart, sure, but the "three chances" line implies more specific restrictions. Did they try this two other times earlier in the night and weren't able to do it? Perhaps tried it earlier with fewer weapons? Or did "three chances" mean three people are allowed to work on it? Doesn't seem likely, as Kitson jumped in fairly quickly and made it four.

- Adam Hills sounds like he's referencing something with "literally bottle it". I know "bottle it" is a expression that means "fuck it up", but I don't see how that's literal in this case. Was there a bottle involved? What would bottling it mean in this instance? Failing the audience's challenge? I don't even know for sure that it was an audience challenge, that's just a guess based on the beginning. It could be something else entirely.

- The part where John Oliver, Demetri Martin, and David O'Doherty scurry across the stage like squirrels makes me laugh every time. Why are they all bent over? What are they hiding from?

- David O'Doherty appears to be the only person who came out carrying a weapon. In the first shot of the guys attacking the cow, DO'D is hitting it with a hammer that he presumably brought from backstage. The other two are pulling on it with their bare hands. Then, in a detail I find hilarious, Demetri Marin reaches behind him and grabs what appears to be a chisel off the floor. I guess what probably happened is he did bring that with him from backstage, then put it down, and we just see him pick it back up. But the editing makes it look like he's tried pulling the horns, it didn't work, so he turned around and grabbed the nearest tool, like a character in a video game that just finds useful weapons lying around.

- It also makes me laugh that Adam Hills used his rap-based narration to make sexual jokes about the cow, while Kitson puts his hand over his mouth/in the air like a rapper, to show he's totally on board with this gangsta rap thing, but also, they have shit to and it's (presumably) nearly 4 AM, so the actual content of his lyrics is going to be to give useful practical advice on how to get this job done. Because they're not combining the tools, and you really need to use the chisel and hammer together or it'll never work.

I enjoy the way at this point, John Oliver takes just the briefest break from attacking a facsimile cow with his bare hands to look up Kitson, looking quite impressed with his approach to the situation. "Yes, thank you Daniel, finally some helpful ideas instead of just cowfucking jokes, now let's get that chisel over here."

- It can be hard to see in the darkness, but this whole thing is basically a Kitson and Oliver-oriented plan. Kitson shouts at DO'D to "combine the chisel and the hammer". John Oliver then points like he's directing a play, getting DO'D to bring his hammer to the other side.

DO'D does this, but puts the hammer down on the ground over there, instead of combining it with anything. That's when Kitson taps DO'D on the back like a pretend wrestler tagging in, possibly deciding that if he stays on the sidelines rapping all night, they'll never get this done and be allowed to leave. So he pushes DO'D out of the way, and takes his spot next to John Oliver. Then he reaches down and grabs a random chisel off the ground, again like a video game character. Then he reaches over the cow and picks up the hammer that DO'D has discarded (like a video game character), so he is now combining the chisel and the hammer. At the same time, John Oliver has physically taken the first chisel out of Demitri Martin's hand, and starts working on the same end as Kitson. Now they're getting somewhere.

- This is one of those videos that's funny every time if you keep running it back to watch the same eight seconds over but this time focus on a different person. DO'D tries to get in after Kitson straight-up stole his spot, leans in but can't find an opening, gives up and walks all the way around them both to try the other end of the cow because clearly the Kitson and Oliver dream team have this end sewn up.

- Then, there's a curveball: someone with the word CREW on the back of their shirt comes out of absolutely nowhere, and hands John Oliver a lead pipe, like a character fucking Clue(do, depending where you live). Where did this come from? Do most stages have large bits of piping lying around backstage? Was John Oliver supposed to bring it on stage with him but forgot it so they had to run it out to him? Or did those crew people decide that they're not making enough progress, someone had better find a large pipe and bring it on stage and hand it to John Oliver so we can all go home.

I've been writing this post so far while watching the official video - the one off the Gilded Balloon YouTube channel - but I think you get a much better view of this specific part from the way it was captured in the montage by an audience member. It's another part that I find incredibly funny. John Oliver is methodically working away with Demitri Martin's chisel and his own hands. Then someone hands him a large weapon, and he immediately raises it above his head like a sword and starts whacking the thing full tilt. Scares the shit out of Kitson on one side of him and DO'D on the other. They both jump, Demitri Martin just cautiously circles away.

In the words of a John Oliver bit that is long outdated but lives on in our hearts and my DVD collection... whaky stick. Whacky stick!!!

Kitson, after initially jumping, responds by choosing to imitate John's style, and starts raising the hammer over his own head to attack it with full force in the same way. While DO'D literally cowers in the corner:

And Demitri Martin continues to do what he's been doing since John took his tool away, which is to run his hands over the body of a cow like a mechanic sizing up a car. He has contributed almost nothing to this operation. I don't even think Demetri Martin knows how to take cows apart. Too busy turning letters into numbers and stuff.

- After getting over the initial excitement of waving a pipe around wildly, John Oliver employs the more thought-out strategy of using it like a lever, trying to prise it open at the seam. Kitson gets in beside him and starts attacking this same seam, striking the weak spot repeatedly with the hammer. In the background, DO'D and Demetri Martin appear to try jumping on the thing.

This is the strategy they're still employing the moment the cow finally comes apart:

I've observed this from multiple angles, and at first I thought Kitson deserved the most credit for breaking it, but now I think it was mainly John Oliver's work. Definitely a team effort though (or at least a dual effort, not sure how much the other two helped, though to be fair the bigger boys took their tools away). It comes apart at the exact spot where Kitson was hitting it with the hammer, you can see Kitson give it a hard kick, then one more strike, then put his arms up in celebration as this strike breaks it in half. But I'm pretty sure it was John's leverage from behind him that allowed him to split the thing.

- At this point they all contribute to pulling it the rest of the way apart; Kitson and Martin hold the top half while Oliver and DO'D take out the bottom. This is another part I find very funny - the way they're so matter-of-fact about handing it out to the audience. Look at John Oliver and David O'Doherty marching this across the stage like they're workers delivering a coach or something:

- Then the camera shows the cow being crowd surfed. The YouTube comments say: "The Metro cow got smashed in two and crowd surfed over everyone out the back door". In his lyrics, Adam Hills talks about taking it up the Royal Mile. The Royal Mile is the street outside, so all this suggests that they continued to take the cow outside and down the street. Was that part of the challenge? Was the initial plan to take the thing apart and then have it carried through the streets of Edinburgh? How far did this cow go?

- I have so far compared them to video game characters, board game characters, tag-team pretend wrestlers, a mechanic, and delivery workers. But my favourite thing to compare them to is probably at the end, when they celebrate like football players who've just won a big match.

"Great work everyone, good hustle out there, really pulled together as a team. Okay, now hit the showers. I want to see you all dressed and ready for milkshakes in ten minutes flat."

- There is so much going on in this video that I find it easier to not try to focus on it all at once, I have to do one thing and then backtrack. So now that I've gone through the whole video while looking at what the rest of them were doing, I need to backtrack and go over the lyrics to Adam Hills' song.

Question: Did Adam Hills think he was going to have to do this alone, or was he supposed to have Kitson co-MC-ing, but then Kitson jumped in partway through? Because I think the latter may have happened. Kitson was the compere for the whole night, as we see in the montage video.

Adam Hills If you had three chances Would you take them? Or would you quite literally bottle it?

As I said before: don't know what he's talking about there. What got literally bottled? Why three chances?

His palms are sweaty, his hair is sweaty He's ready to shoot spaghetti He's got a cow on stage It's got red horns, it's all the rage

This is veering wildly off topic, but I just want to mention that that Adam Hills got his off the cuff "stage/all the rage" rhyme because he'd heard DO'D use it in a freestyle rap battle with Daniel Kitson, that we know from the montage took place earlier than night (another one of my favourite videos, but we don't have time to go into this one right now):

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It's cow tipping, it's not quite shitty Get that cow down in this city Take it up the Royal Mile, attack it with a hammer Kitson's on the stage, he's [?] with a hammer

Again, how far did the cow go? They had clearly planned from the beginning (of this song, at least) to have it out on the Royal Mile. YouTube comments confirm it left the building.

David O'Doherty's going up the ass It's time to fuck this motherfucking class Fuck the udder (x4) Let's get this udder fucking cow out of here

After all the times I've watched this video, this is the first time I've noticed that Adam Hills tried a pun on "mother fucking" there. Glad he's having a good time.

Daniel Kitson Davey, Davey, what you need to do Is combine the chisel and the hammer

Finally, some useful fucking advice.

Adam Hills There's Martin, Demitri Martin The Perrier win has left me smartin'

This was August 26, Hills' song mentions later that it's the last night of Late 'n' Live for that year, so the Perrier Awards had just been given out. In 2003, Demetri Martin won the main award over other nominees: Reginald D. Hunter, Flight of the Conchords, Howard Read and Little Howard, and Adam Hills. Adam Hills, who had also been nominated the previous year, when he lost to Daniel Kitson, and the year before that, when he lost to Garth Marenghi. So he is actually being, as a YouTube comment said, a pretty good sport to jump in and have fun about it. If I were him I'd probably resent losing out an award again and then not even getting to smash shit up.

John Oliver, he's the man If that pipe won't do it, nothing can David O'Doherty, he comes from Ireland, the land of the green Daniel Kitson, he's got a hammer He's also got one motherfucking stammer

I quite enjoy the way no one responds to any of this. Adam Hills starts calling them out by name, including bringing up Kitson's stutter and DO'D nationality and his awards rivalry with Demetri Martin, and none of them even briefly looks at him. They are all very busy and focused on the important task of destroying a cow.

It's time to break this cow down It's time to break this cow down It's not time to chow down It's time to break this cow down

I want this verse embroidered on a throw pillow. Actually, I think I want these entire lyrics printed out and framed on my wall.

Late 'n' Live, Late 'n' Live, it's the very last night It's time to wrap this show up tight Send it out the front, send it out the... [cow breaks apart] Break the cow, break it in half Lead it out the front to the path

Once again, talk of parading this thing around outside the venue. Where were they taking it?

Karen Koren, she's outside She's got petrol dripping down her eyes There was a fire at the Gilded Balloon The police found no one else was to blame If this season doesn't go well This fucking venue's going up in flames

That, of course, is a reference to the Gilded Balloon's history. It burned down in a fire in December 2002. It's now August 2003, and they're in a new venue that was rebuilt nearby. Karen Koren is the venue's owner. I'm pretty sure Adam Hills is implying that she's going to burn down the new venue if the performers don't do well enough. Actually, he's not implying that, he's outright stating it. What he's implying is that she burned down the first venue, presumably for the insurance money, and she is currently outside ready to burn this one down too, if they perform badly enough to make the insurance money worth more than the shows bring in.

The cow's in half, the cow's in half Let's hear it for the cow in half!

This is like that famous poem that was allegedly written by a child about a tiger breaking out of its cage. Sheer poetry.

Tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I Got out of bed at all The morning sun goes up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could, it'd all be grey But your picture on my wall It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

What's interesting about this is that these are the lyrics to Stan, which is a different Eminem song from the one he was (sort of) singing at the beginning, which was lose yourself. This may or may not be related to the fact that Adam Hills is the only person in this performance who was not a member of the Chocolate Milk Gang, which was a group of comedians known for not getting drunk during or after late-night Edinburgh shows.

It may also be related to the fact that this is a clip of the Edinburgh show that Adam Hills had just spent a month performing:

So he had Stan in his head all month anyway, he was on stage and remembered he was supposed to be singing an Eminem song, his brain told him that the Eminem song he sings on stage is Stan. Fair enough.

Though it's worth noting that those aren't the correct lyrics to Stan either. The Eninem song says the clouds come up the window, not the sun. Why would it be all grey and hard to see if the sun came up the window?

Crowd surf the cow, people.

I want all those lyrics printed out in fancy calligraphy font. And ornately framed. And on my wall.

So that's Cowgate, in case anyone wants to know. But this is just stuff I've said before. I said I had a new detail, didn't I? Well here it is:

Who is that man, sat unobtrusively in the background, playing the percussion set? Of course we have no way of knowing, in such low quality video without any clear shots of his face. Or do we? Because here is a screenshot of Flight of the Conchords, sitting on that very cow, earlier in the same night! (We know it was the same night because it was taken from the montage of the whole night, which ended with a second angle on Cowgate.)

Am I wrong? I might be wrong, tell me if you think I'm wrong. But I think that's Jermaine Clement playing percussion back there. Based on the evidence that: He was there that night. He does play the drums. He's a bona fide member of the Chocolate Milk Gang. And he has the same vague outline and shirt colour as the guy in those screenshots. And he was in the background of the Kitson/DO'D battle rap video, playing guitar, so he does sometime play music to accompany other comedians doing weird shit at Late 'n' Live. My new detail is I think Jermaine Clement was on the stage during Cowgate.

It is cool, really. I mean, I'm obviously being vaguely ironic by treating this late-night comedy show stunt as a vitally important mysterious ritual. But I genuinely think that what happened there is fucking cool, if you look at all those people being on one stage doing something so stupid together, and then consider where they all went after that.

And if Jermaine Clement was there, that just adds to it. The variety and international breadth of all the different comedy careers all in one place just as they were on the cusp of taking off. I mean, by plenty of definitions some had taken off already, but they have all taken off significantly more since then. Almost as though on one night in 2003, they all sacrificed a cow to the gods of success and it worked. Of the main five people involved in the sacrifice rituals, there are three Perrier Awards (Kitson, DO'D, Demetri Martin - though to be fair two of those were won before Cowgate happened so I guess we can't attribute it to the sacrifice), an MBE (Hills), and a shitload of Emmys (Oliver). Which I think they should all bring in for the prize task of the Taskmaster episode that I imagine with those five as the contestants (it's okay, I think this is worth setting racial and gender representation on panel shows back by 20 years), the studio task is to take a cow apart, the winner gets all the trophies.

That's a lot of countries. The Australian Adam Hills, the British Daniel Kitson, the American Demetri Martin, the Irish David O'Doherty, the Kiwi Jermaine Clement, and the now-British/American John Oliver. All with wildly different types of careers. All, for different reasons, among my favourite comedians. I have seen or heard all of the official video or audio stand-up releases by all six of those people (and possibly 1 or 2 or several hundred or so unofficial ones as well). And not because of this video or anything, I sought them out because those are among my favourites and then they were all on stage doing this unhinged thing together.

It's the great mystery of my lifetime, I still want to know where the fuck they got that cow. And I'm genuinely annoyed that I won't be able to see the stage where it happened when I go to Edinburgh this year, but it's all right, I'll look at the outside.

If I ever get to meet any of these people, this is the first question I'm asking. No I don't need to know anything else about your career, just please tell me, what the fuck was going on with that fucking cow in 2003?

#Youtube

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karama9 · 1 year ago

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Writer Woes

So a while ago I was doing a TOTK countdown. I was spitting out stories as quick as I could think em up. One of them did better than nearly anything I ever wrote on ao3: a romance set in botw in 3 quick chapters.

A lot of people enjoyed it, which is great! Only thing is I don’t feel like it’s one of my better work. It has glaring mistakes (to me) and even the romance didn’t really have time to shine, it’s just there, because I was rushing these out.

It did sort of confirmed to me that romance and shipping are just more likely to be more popular stories,especially in a big fandom where the writer has no established followers or fan base.

So it sucks for me that I hardly ever feel like writing romance. I have a complicated relationship with romance: I enjoy devotion in stories, and I like romance when it’s in addition to a bigger plot when it’s about people being devoted to each other. physical aspect is fine but entirely secondary. Now the specific feeling I like reading is just as likely to be found in friendships and family relationships, making me just as likely or more to write that.

Here’s the frustrating part. I’m currently working on what I call my shorter WIP, No More. ( Full title is No More. Not One Single Time More)

I’m really grateful I have two readers commenting on every chapter because I have like, 10 to 15 readers. You two, you’re awesome and thank you, So much. I don’t even know them, they’re just being awesome. Probably would be giving up posting if not for them, I’d have switched to just writing the main scenes for myself and leave it.

The frustration is that Im actually proud of No More. And almost nobody is reading it. It doesn’t have mass appeal, it’s dark and I depressed myself with one of the chapters, but im happy with almost every chapter so far because I feel they’re doing exactly what they’re meant to.

But it’s dark and not romantic and I don’t have a bunch of regular readers so other than the absolute incredible good luck of having my two commenters, I know hardly anyone will read it and that’s pretty frustrating.

Anyway, here’s one way being different than the majority in your interest in romance can affect you even with no actual bad will on anyone’s part. If you were wondering.

It parallels super closely to my whole experience as a teenager (back in the olden days).

#aroace #writing #romance #non romance #just go read my depressing horror story and be sad with me already #legend of Zelda #No more

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veliseraptor · 4 years ago

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if you're still doing the five headcanons meme, how about character-defining quotes for a character of your choice from the untamed/mdzs? (I know I said your choice and IT IS!!! but personally I'd love to see JC or JGY, or hardmode maybe Jin Ling)

oh man, anon, you’re giving me hard mode regardless purely because I can’t...look up quotes, so I have to go off my memory and then go hunt them down episode by episode.

decided to go with Jin Guangyao because I love him and I feel like I don’t write enough about him myself (as opposed to just reblogging other peoples’ writing about him and yelling about it in the tags).

Two things that came out of this: 1. this got really long, so sorry about that if that’s not what you wanted, and 2. I now have so many Jin Guangyao screencaps. (This is not a problem.)

finally I am coming at this as a certified Jiggy Apologist™ so heads up there.

(Using Viki subtitles because I can’t screencap from Netflix anyway.)

1. "How can I be the same as you? You want me to not be afraid of the sky or afraid of the ground? I am exactly afraid of the sky, afraid of the ground, and even afraid of people!”

I mean, okay, this whole speech is one big Jin Guangyao Manifesto, but as I was going through it to pick a specific bit for this response this was the part that stuck with me - because in many ways Jin Guangyao is a man driven by intense and inescapable fear. The entire world feels as though it is against him and always has been against him, or at least as though it is just waiting for an excuse to tear his throat out the second it sees weakness. This ties in to #2 (and Jiggy’s ‘then bite first’ instinct, but this one I think is particularly defining because of the way it emphasizes specifically fear.

“Afraid of the sky, afraid of the ground, and even afraid of people.” Set against Nie Mingjue’s earlier words, too - listed as a bonus on this post - this is also Jin Guangyao confessing to what he knows Nie Mingjue will judge as cowardice.

There’s this great post about how this whole scene is very Jin Guangyao Speaking His Truth - to the person he knows will reject it. He admits this - this fear that drives him, that is his constant companion, the fear that quickly becomes paranoia as his world spirals out of control (control, that he hangs onto so tightly because either he has all of the power or none of it, and without power he can’t protect himself) - with at least some knowledge that it won’t matter.

Because of course it doesn’t matter. How can I be the same as you, he asks, and his entire answer to that question will always be I can’t - I have to make my own way, however ugly that looks.

2. “In this world, everyone began with no grudges. Someone will always come forward with the first stab.”

I wrote a bit of a post about this one the last time I watched this episode! Basically how he’s talking to Wei Wuxian here, but I think he’s also talking about himself - and, obliquely, explaining himself. He began with no grudges, like everyone else here. Someone was always going to strike first - as his father did, to him, when he kicked him down the stairs of Jinlintai. He went there to get his acceptance, grudge-free, and limped away having come off the worse. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t done anything to Jin Guangshan.

Everyone begins unstained, but nobody stays that way. It’s sort of a race to the bottom way of looking at things, maybe, but given how much time Jin Guangyao has spent with people stepping on him, it’s pretty understandable that he looks at people with fear (see above!) as those who will potentially kick him down a flight of stairs.

Eventually someone will hit first, and in Jin Guangyao’s experience if he doesn’t do it then the other person will. Why lie down and let them go for it? Why not at least try to fight back?

3. “'Abhor evil as one’s deadly foe...’ Am I exactly that evil then?”

So this is in response to Lan Xichen’s attempt at being comforting by telling Jin Guangyao that it’s not him! Nie Mingjue is just like that about people he thinks are evil!” and Jin Guangyao is like. “So let’s examine that for a minute.”

It doesn’t just function as pointing up to Lan Xichen what he just said/implied, though (and Lan Xichen clearly realizes he said something wrong, as he stumbles over responding to this question), but it’s also, I think, to some extent a genuine question - both internally and externally directed.

I think about this great breakdown of this scene, and how Jin Guangyao is trying to balance three powerful people and keep them all happy(ish) with him. He is, here, about to do something awful - possibly unforgivable. And I think there is a hesitation, a desire to know (am I evil or am I just doing what I have to?) but also to be reassured. Jin Guangyao isn’t someone where questions of right and wrong, good and evil, don’t matter or don’t concern him. And especially here, it matters very much in the context of Lan Xichen, specifically.

Am I evil? And if I am, what does that mean: for me, for you, for us?

But it’s not just about Lan Xichen, either. It’s posed at himself, too. Is this the line that’s too far? Is this the place where I cross a point of no return? Is it?

Does it matter, if evil is what I already am?

4. "”Under the circumstances, doing one more or doing one less, what’s the difference?”

This one...oof. I resist, to a certain extent, the retroactive “Jin Guangyao was responsible for literally every bad thing that happened after the end of Sunshot” that the Guanyin Temple scenes present. It feels a little too neat. And I’m not quite saying ‘I reject this canon and ignore it because I want to’ but I do feel like...this line interests me because it illustrates not just where Jin Guangyao is at this point (’there is nothing I can say, you’ve made up your minds about me and there’s no point arguing details anymore’) but also, more generally, how he got here.

Because it’s very easy to see how incremental Jin Guangyao’s actions are. Starting out doing things for his father - following orders, getting his hands bloody on Jin Guangshan’s behalf. And escalating. Because once he’s done one bad thing - once he’s already crossed one moral line...what’s another? Or another? Once he’s already stained, how much of a difference does it really make if he does worse?

And besides...he was never going to be virtuous. He was never going to be clean.

5. “In my life, I have lied countless times, killed countless times. Just like you said, of all the evil deeds in the world, what haven’t I done? But I...I had never thought about harming you.”

So I like pain! And this is very. Very ouch. I feel like I see a lot of people arguing about whether this is sincere, or how sincere Jin Guangyao’s feelings for Lan Xichen were, or whether he was just lying to/manipulating him all along - but I think this is a very real, truly honest moment. Because he’s admitting to everything - admitting to a kind of hideous monstrosity that he avoided claiming before this moment, even as he was truthful about what he’d done and why. And he’s doing it to contrast it with that last line: I had never thought about harming you.

Lan Xichen was the cleanest part of his life. Lan Xichen was the person with whom he got to be his best self - the self he wanted to be (at another point in this scene he says it’s not that I didn’t want to be a good person). It’s not his truest self because Jin Guangyao doesn’t really have one of those (who does?), but a self that he doesn’t get to be with anyone else (to a certain extent, also with Qin Su, but there’s a different kind of reserve there however much he cares about her; a consequence of what he knows to be true about their relationship, particularly after Rusong’s death). That’s precious to him. That’s priceless. And here, after everything else is ripped away, their relationship shredded, there’s still this to lose: he never thought about harming Lan Xichen (he did, of course, but never directly). But Lan Xichen is killing him.

BONUS: “A real man can stand up straight and do what’s right. The more these people spout a stream of rhetoric nonsense behind your back, the more you must do things to the point that they have nothing else to say.”

So this is a bonus instead of one of the five because it’s Nie Mingjue speaking and not Jin Guangyao himself, but the level to which this is - how Jin Guangyao approaches things for a long while is really...pretty intense. And in some ways the tipping point for Jin Guangyao is the realization, constant and unending, that it doesn’t matter what he does, or how much he does, or how hard he works - people will always have something to say. There will always be more insults, more snide comments, more judgment. There is no possible way for him to be a real man; the opportunity to stand up straight is, as far as Jin Guangyao is concerned, one he lost the moment he was born in a brothel.

But I think there is a period of time where he wants to believe in this kind of merit-based success. That if he pushes himself hard enough, he’ll be able to better himself, to make enough gains that he can stand up straight, to make good of himself. That’s an encouraging thing to believe! And for someone like Jin Guangyao who prizes his control - the idea of having that much control/agency is a very appealing one. But he keeps running into the fact that in a rigid, hierarchical society where rumor is king, there’s no real such thing as merit-based success, or at least not the kind where they’ll let you forget where you came from.

I think that’s a big part of Jin Guangyao’s breaking point, actually - not just the knowing he’ll never be good enough to be more than the son of a prostitute, but the disjunction between people claiming that if he just tried harder then it would be better (notably, Nie Mingjue, here, who I think does believe it to some extent), and his lived experience of trying very, very hard all the time and always eventually running into the ‘son of a prostitute’ glass ceiling.

There’s no way out, he says in Guanyin Temple; I think in some ways Jin Guangyao’s life has been a succession of closed doors and narrowing paths where it feels, again and again, like there’s no way out - or at least, no right way. No clean way.

The only way to win was to do terrible things.

#anonymous #conversating #lise does meta #jin guangyao #wow this took me forever #the sad queer cultivators show

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franeridart · 5 years ago

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Anon said: How are you just like "Oh these are just some warm up sketches" and post a full finished piece, while I'm over here sketching a triangle person and calling it a finished piece.

I dunno if this was a legit question asking for a legit answer, but I do happen to have a legit answer so I might as well give it! If I wanted to go into detals with it it’d take me forever though, so allow me to separate it into two points to make it easier

I learnt how to be very fast in putting down my lines and trained myself into not overthinking every single dot I put down. This took about five or six years of drawing daily and a whole life of drawing occasionally before then, because to do so you need to reach a point where you’re drawing something you’ve drawn so many times that by now your hand sort of goes without you needing to think about it much, so it’s not a fast process, but boy is it worth it. Mostly learning how to not overthink it, overthinking it used to be 90% of my time spent on a drawing and dear god did it suck the joy out of everything I drew

I have two very distinctive ways of approaching a drawing, one where I actually put effort in it and the other where I just want to let the squiggles out of my pen, and warm ups are the second one - the lack of effort I’m putting in can have different forms and show in different ways, so a warm up could be a fully colored piece as it could be just a pencil doodle, depending on where and on what exactly I’m being lazy: it could be the type of tool I’m using that allows me to draw without having to line, it could be a very tiny canvas that lets me avoid a ton of details a big canvas would demand. I might be cutting the time I usually put in making sure my anatomy is correct, I might be using a shading technique that takes a tenth of the time my usual one would, I might be using a style that’s just easier and faster to draw, or drawing characters I’ve drawn a trillion times in extremely generic poses and clothes. There’s a lot of things that I can do to make things faster for me! It’s skills you gain as you draw a lot - you learn how to draw things the hard way, and then you realize that along the way you learnt how to do them the easy way too

hope this actually answers your question! If it was a question at all lol if it wasn’t then sorry for rambling, please pretend I didn’t say anything hahaha

Anon said: I love your newest comic!!! So adorable!! I noticed Bakugou's mom does the affectionate hair rustle thing to him in the manga/anime, do you think Bakugou subconsciously does the same to show affection cause of it? I love the way you draw faces and poses, it's so expressive!!

Ahhhhh thank you so much!!! And yeah, it might be! After all we do take a lot from the people we live with even without realizing, and he’s already so similar to his mom!

Anon said: I saw your bakushima comic from October 9th (2019) where Bakugo falls asleep studying and Kirishima sets him down on the table properly and it was so soft my heart is crying

;;;;; !!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked it!! <3<3

Anon said: If it not to much, could I possibly get a Ochamina doodle pls? I just love some sweet lesbeans 👉👈

Awww I’m not taking requests right now, but I’ll keep it in mind for next time I want to doodle and don’t know what!

Anon said: I love your art! I envy you.

Please don’t! There’s a lot of reasons why being me isn’t a lot of fun - if it’s just my skill you envy, then all you gotta do is draw a lot!

Anon said: i just went through your entire kiribaku tag and omg it was beautiful seeing the progression in your art skills but still keeping the same funny/cute/heartwarming/etc traits you thought up for their dynamic!! i hope that makes sense haha !! love your art keep it up

It does make sense!!! Thank you so much both for looking through the whole tag and for thinking so, it means a lot to me!! ;;; <3<3

Anon said: Hey fran! I hope you're doing well(especially with quarantine and all)!! I really love your anatomy and how fluid and stylistic it can be! It's super fun to look at! I wanted to ask you if you ever did any in depth studies on anatomy? Like muscles and bones. I've heard a lot of artists mention the necessity of studying bones/muscles, i'd really like to know your opinion on the subject

Ahhh god thank you so much!! And... hmm let’s see if I can word this properly and have it make sense - always keeping in mind that this is just my opinion, of course!

If all you want to do is to draw, then all you need to do is to pick up your pencil and draw - it’s really that easy as far as I’m concerned. You don’t need to know anatomy in depth to just draw, everyone has seen a person, everyone knows how a person looks. That is, if all you want to do is to draw for the sake of drawing. If you want to draw an anatomically correct looking human being, though, you do need to know how anatomy works - and the deeper you’ll go into studying it the more correct your people will look. It’s kind how everyone can draw a bicycle, but if you want to draw a realistic bicycle you’re gonna need to look up references for it, you know? It’s all on the level at which you’re interested in drawing, the more technically skilled you want to be the more you’ll have to study

As for my personal experience with this, I hate studying with a passion. Studying puts a damper on my enjoyement of everything, and drawing isn’t excluded from this - you put a book in front of me expecting me to study it and suddenly I never want to pick up a pencil again. This means that I never sat down and studied anatomy in depth and all in one go just to learn how to draw a human being, but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t, slowly and now and again and in bits and pieces, study parts of the body to get a better understanding of it. I know better about the skeleton than I do about muscles, and I still have enough to learn about everything that anyone who’s studied anatomy properly would find a trillion mistakes in everything I draw, but my way of going about drawing has always been and always will be putting my enjoyement of it first and foremost, so I’m not interested in putting myself through a tour-de-force to learn everything there is to know about anatomy just to make my doodles look appealing to someone with a medical degree haha I’m just doing me, and when the mood is right I look up how to properly draw something, but until then I just do it as best as I can with my limited knowledge, being fully aware that what I’m producing is far from accurate but being willing to make that compromise for my own comfort

So that’s my opinion on it lol it all boils down to how important it is for you to know how to properly draw the human body - of course it’s gonna look more professional and better if you’ve studied it, but everyone has their own priorities, you know?

Anon said: Thank you for your hard work, seeing an upload from you is so nice, and the colors are so pretty

Thank you so muuuuccchhhhh!!!! TTATT <3<3<3

Anon said: Opinions on Tokoyami Fumikage 💕

One of my top faves in the whole manga, actually! I have a drawing in the making of him, I should get back to it..........

Anon said: HOLY SHIT FRAN THE TOES HOW YOU DRAW THE TOES SO WELL FEET ARE THE DEATH OF ME AND YOU’RE OVER HERE DRAWING TOES THEY’RE SO GOOD PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!!! -❤️

Thank you!!!!!!!! So pretty much my way of learning this specific skill was being obsessed with elves when I was fifteen and wanting to draw them all the time and also for whatever reason being convinced that they were not supposed to wear shoes so I just drew a lot of feet with references and tutorials and stuff till I could draw my elves properly. Which isn’t necessarily what you need to do to learn how to draw feet, but, I mean, it worked for me lol

Anon said: I love ur Bnha ships and all but what would u do if some of them didn’t become canon??

Oh, I actually don’t care about that at all? I don’t expect most of them to become canon anyway - like, ochadeku sounds reasonable and kamijirou seems to be getting there, but everything else I never even considered it as an actual possibilily. I don’t really ship because I want to see my ships become canon, I just like the potential in what I can make with them? If that makes sense? They’re just fun to think about and I like making fancontent, that’s all there is to it really haha honestly if I had my way no ship would ever be canon ever ha ha ha

Anon said: Slep is for the wek

No actually sleep is for Frans who want a chance at getting up tomorrow morning without an headache for once, so I should do that and go to sleep already lmao

#fran answers #a couple of long ones in this one !!!!!#feeling blabbery tonight

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hotforhandman · 4 years ago

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Are the Villains “right”?

Okay, so I was scrolling through the bnha spoilers tag whilst procrastinating work and I’m really not living for the vibes there. My biggest issues fall into two main camps: “this arc is going to be the end of the League”, and “Villain stans are hypocrites with no reading comprehension for condemning the Heroes’ behaviour”, and I believe both of these statements can be addressed simultaneously, whilst also giving me a convenient excuse to not write. So without further ado,

Part 1: Themes

Right from the very beginning of the series, literally the first line, one thing is made blatantly clear: This series is not going to be about good guys and bad guys. “All men are not created equal” is not a line that implicates an inherent divide between good and evil, unless you’re an actual eugenicist. And pretty much every important character is designed to criticise a different aspect of the established system.

Izuku: The Quirkless are worthless. Not explicitly, but... everyone knows it.

Bakugou: If you have a good Quirk, you are praised and treated as special, and as a consequence you’re never expected to learn and grow as a person.

Shoto: Dedicating your entire life to becoming strong to the detriment of your own health is the best way to climb to the top.

All Might: You don’t have to worry about anything. A Hero will save you.

Shinsou: If you have a Villain’s Quirk, you’re going to be a Villain, no matter the quality of your personality.

Kirishima: If you’re not flashy, there’s no point even trying.

Hawks: Similar to Shoto, if you show natural promise then it’s acceptable to groom you as a weapon.

I’m sure there are others that I’ve missed. Each of these characters’ individual developments have been focused around them overcoming these ingrained ideas and growing and succeeding despite them - with the exception, perhaps, of Hawks. So if several of the major Hero characters are designed to illustrate and criticise the established system, what about the villains? I guess if the Heroes are stories about people succeeding despite what the world tells them, then the Villains are stories about what happens when they don’t.

Spinner: Mutants are second-class citizens and should be treated as such.

Toga: If your Quirk is considered to be bad or gross, then you should be punished for wanting to use it.

Twice: The world won’t make space for your special needs.

Magne: If you don’t fit the mould of what people want you to be, you won’t be respected.

And Shigaraki: It’s not our responsibility to help you. If you weren’t saved, that must mean you’re not worth saving.

The one thing that both the Heroes and the Villains have in common is that they are tools to show the audience the flaws in BNHA’s society. It’s canon that Quirks appeared suddenly, and though by the time BNHA is set in, society has tried to adapt to fit it and is making some progress towards being functional, it’s clear that it has a long, long way to go, because it’s failing so many people. (Draw some parallels to real life, hm?). BNHA’s overarching themes of individual worth not being more important than collective good and how rules and structure created in good will can result in a lot of pain and abuse are, first and foremost, exemplified in the characters themselves. I like to tell people who find Shigaraki’s motivations vague and uncompelling that Shigaraki doesn’t need to have a point, he is the point, and this is exactly the reason why.

I also believe that this is primarily why for Horikoshi to end the League here would be, frankly, terrible writing. We have engaged with the LOV more than pretty much any other Shonen villain group I can think of, almost any villain group at all. We’ve seen them develop as much as we’ve seen the heroes develop, especially in Shigaraki’s case, and to have Shigaraki only be their ‘first-year villain’ or whatever would be disrespectful, wasteful, and thematically inappropriate. To have a more classic, pre-developed villain whose villainy seems to stem from some inherent evil characteristic like AfO or Overhaul would ultimately defeat the story of how the worst villains are created by flaws in the system, not born.

Part 2: Fan Response

Sometimes I can’t believe I still have to reiterate this to people, but it is possible to stan a character whilst simultaneously recognising that they are flawed, often critically so. When did we move from adoring villains to saying if you like this character you must be an inherently bad person because of this list of bad things they did?

The thing is that the vast majority of ‘opinions’ on fan blogs are... poorly thought out and shallow, to put it lightly. When it’s 2am and I’m answering an ask about my opinions on x plot point, it’s not gonna be well thought out and thoroughly researched. I’m probably a bit tipsy, kind of tired, and just typing out whatever my initial response is. And really, if I reblog a bit of art with the caption ‘Shigaraki did nothing wrong’, do you really think I’m being serious? A lot of what we say is hyperbolic and meant to either be funny or to evoke an emotion, not because we actually believe it.

That being said, the League in particular, I believe, resonates with a lot of people in the current political climate. A group of outcasts with characteristics considered undesirable by the wider population coming together and genuinely caring about one another whilst they aim to completely eradicate the system that hurt them? As an angry, marginalised leftist in a society that seems increasingly determined to wipe my chances at a good life out without blinking an eye, hell yeah that resonates with me. Being able to crumble the cripplingly complex and morally vile system I live in to dust and starting over is one hell of an appealing power fantasy. Does that mean I think murder is okay? Obviously not. It’s a fantasy. If there’s one place where I can live out those fantasies without consequences, it’s here. In fiction. And so it seems really stupid to me to be confronted with the idea that if I like a fictional violent radical I’m accused of condoning murder and kidnapping.

Part 3: Are the Heroes right?

So a lot of the posts I saw that aggravated me were framed like 'how can the villain stans think Miruko and Gran Torino's behaviour is worse than Shigaraki's?', but like... who was saying that?

I feel like certain people's views of the heroes versus villains debate falls under the same fallacies as a lot of political arguments- that is to say, if I'm criticising one side, I must be defending the other. Which is... just blatantly untrue. When we say that the heroes' consistent dehumanisation of a man who is, first and foremost, a victim of significant grooming and abuse throughout his life, is gross and cruel, and that this attitude is mirrored in an awful lot of the hero-villain interactions implying a certain level of empathetic alienation and lack of accountability, we're not saying they shouldn't be trying to take Shigaraki down. Of course they should, he's going to decimate hundreds of thousands of innocent lives. But, like, does that mean they're exempt from all criticism? Should we be excusing the cruel and dismissive attitudes of the heroes and ignoring the behaviours of their side that lead to further 'villainisation' of marginalised people just because they're responsible for saving lives? No. Because once again, one of the key themes of BNHA is that neither side is perfect, and neither side is right.

Mass murder is wrong. So is systemic cruelty towards the oppressed. You don't have to approve of one to criticise the other. So next time you see one of those posts and jump to the conclusion that villain stans have no reading comprehension, pls remember these points.

Anyway, that's my little rant. Sorry.

Tl;dr, villain stans aren't stupid or glorifying murder, we're just capable of criticising more than one type of bad behaviour.

#league of villains #bnha

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dyde21 · 4 years ago

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Overnight Trip to Stark Industries 3

Link to the first part HERE (I mean it’s a field trip fic so the set up is the same, but the first two parts are only on AO3 right now xD)

I know I’m new to the fandom, and mostly post over on AO3 but I think I’ll start sharing some more One-shots over here because I freaking adore Spideychelle. Also, anyone who does REALLY needs to check out @premiere-pro They have one of the best writing styles I’ve seen in ages, and they have a series called “super cuts” that retells Iron Man 2, Avengers, and Iron Man 3 currently with Spidey in them and it’s amazing. I’m gonna reread them soon.

Anyway:

XxXxXxXxX

The air was practically vibrating in the elevator as everyone wondered what the first stop of the tour would be. Someone had even turned to their tour guide Ashe in the elevator their half was in. “What is the itinerary for today?”

Ashe looked at them, owlish for a moment. “Did… did your teachers not explain it? I believe it was on the paperwork as well.” Peter heard her voice drop to a whisper. “Did I not explain it?”

The student looked a little sheepish. “There was a lot of paperwork…”

Nodding, Ashe recovered smoothly. “I totally get that. Working here often comes with loads of paperwork. So many NDA’s, it’s easy to lose track of things. I’ll explain once we get to the first stop, just so I don’t have to repeat myself.” She offered with a crowd winning smile.

Peter saw her turn back to him and mouth “oops” and Peter snickered. Ashe was a very good PA, she could handle people better than pretty much anyone else Peter knew, aside from maybe Tony himself. But he also had heard she could be a bit distracted easily, which was why she always had a tablet to double check to keep her tasks organized and on track. Though it wasn’t like Peter could blame her, he forgot stuff constantly and Tony was even worse. It was honestly a miracle that Pepper had come into Stark Industries to help keep everything running smoothly.

Ned turned to Peter. “Do you know what’s happening first?”

Shaking his head, Peter sighed. “Like I said, Ned. I really know nothing about what’s going on this tour. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to go on it, and I kinda spend a lot of time here so I never took it myself. I just know that it’s supposed to be super memorable.”

Ned was still nodding, as if the plain explanation Peter was offering was super secret spoilers. MJ was just leaning against the wall, arms crossed as she watched them all with an amused expression. He was glad at least someone was amused.

The elevator ended and they stepped out into… a plain hallway.

Everyone seemed a bit confused. It was clear the expectations had been a bit more… grandeur. Ashe smiled as she made a broad motion, urging the group to gather around.

“So I bet you all are wondering what we are doing on this trip. In case some of you did not properly read the itinerary, I thought it would be prudent to review our schedule!”

There was some excited murmur from the group of students. Peter just rolled his eyes. He met her eyes and mouthed “smooth” to her. Ashe turned to the group, but Peter saw her subtly raise a peace sign in his direction.

“So! As you know, our trip is split into two days. The first day will explore the technology and R&D portion of Stark Industries, and the second day will cover the Avengers and affiliated programs.” Ashe quieted for a moment as a wave of cheers and very loud murmuring broke out. Ned was freaking out, grabbing Peter’s arm and shaking it. Peter barely noticed, because he felt his face pale. He was about to raise his arm, but someone else had gotten the idea first.

“Yes, you!” Ashe said, pointing.

“Will we be meeting any Avengers?” Cindy asked eagerly.

Pausing for dramatic effect, a massive grin crept on Ashe’s face. “Yes! You will be meeting multiple Avengers on this trip. While not all trips are afforded this opportunity, this trip has been lucky enough to be part of the September Foundations outreach program to help connect the future generation to both Stark Industries and the Avenger’s initiative, as at the core, the heroes serve the people and outreaches like this help close the gap and build bridges.” Ashe offered in a smooth, practiced flow.

Another loud wave of cheers rang out from the group and Peter winced, covering his ears slightly. His enhanced senses were NOT as happy as they were at the moment. He felt MJ’s hand rub his back gently.

“Dude! DUDE!” Ned practically shouted at him, wide eyes. Peter couldn’t help but grin at his friend despite the growing dread in his stomach. He was happy for Ned, even though Ned had met all the Avengers at least once by now. This was a rare chance for all of his friends and he was happy for them.

But there was no way in hell this tour had been “randomly selected” for this. There was absolutely foul play here and it reeked of nepotism.

“Lucky, my ass. I think this was Pepper’s idea of ‘helping me out’.” Peter muttered to Ned and MJ.

“GOOD.” Ned said unapologetically.

MJ shrugged. “Technically, they aren’t under any obligation to not choose this trip just because they know you. They have the right to choose whatever groups they want.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were against Nepotism.”

MJ offered him a sly grin. “Technically the entire class benefits from this experience, so you aren’t stealing all the benefit from others. You’re more of… an asset in our appeal to the process. It’s prudent to make use of the advantages we are offered.”

“So I’m an asset.” Peter deadpanned to her. “That’s how you see me.”

MJ shrugged. “You’re my favorite asset.”

“You just like me for my assets.” Peter mocked.

“It is a nice asset.” MJ replied cooley. Peter stared at her for a moment, blinking before his cheeks started to tint red. Did… did she just hit on him?

MJ grinned triumphantly, having won the exchange as the group tuned back into Ashe.

“Our first stop will be a brief history of the company, followed by a tech demonstration. There will be a surprise challenge, followed by lunch and the end of the challenge, then a chance for outreach and interaction with SI representatives to end the day before dinner and some free time. We will leave tomorrow’s plan for tomorrow, so make the most of today while you can!”

Another break where the group was too busy talking to each other for Ashe to have a hope of controlling them, but she didn’t seem particularly surprised or bothered by it, instead answering some question that Mr. Harrington was asking that Peter couldn’t hear over the roar of overly excited teenagers.

“So at least one day before the Avengers ruin my life.” Peter muttered mostly to himself. He winced as he felt MJ gently pinch his back where she had been rubbing it.

“Stop being so dramatic, nerd. Things will workout fine.” She reassured, glancing towards her other nerd with a small smile as Ned was still freaking out with Abe.

Ashe checked the time on her starkpad before waving her arms a bit to gather attention back on her. “As much as I’m sure you’re having fun talking about how ‘hella cool’ this tour is gonna be, how about we actually start it?”

MJ raised at the expression and Ashe seemed to notice it and smirked in response.

Ashe led her gaggle of students towards a wide set of double doors that really didn’t look like anything special. Peter couldn’t quite place where he had seen them before though. They seemed… different.

“First stop on our tour will be a brief history of Stark Industries. This is actually a rather brand new installation and vastly upgraded from our older lecture version. I think you all will be pretty pleased by it. Without further ado, let’s begin!” She said, earning a few hoots and cheers from the class as she dramatically pushed open the doors.

Students practically rushed into… a blank room. All the walls were either glass or another blank surface. In the center of the massive room was a circular pedestal with a device on top of it. Everyone looked around confused, and Peter could practically hear their disappointment.

Ashe, however, was having far too much fun watching their expressions. “Just be patient. Is everyone in? Good! Okay, now everyone I suggest you stand back to start, and do keep in mind the center dias please.” She said before stepping back. After a moment the rest of the class stepped back too as murmurs of concern started to grow a little louder.

Peter, however, remembered exactly what this was and a massive grin crept on his face. He had no idea they had actually fully finished this project, it had been ages since he had helped out other interns with this. He had been involved in the development and the construction of the technology, not as much the final touches and execution of it.

He gestured for MJ and Ned to step back a little more. “Ned, do your best not to freak out too much.”

Ned nodded a bit too eagerly as he stared at the console, already amazed even though nothing had happened yet.

MJ seemed a bit skeptical, but scooted a little closer to him and crossed her arms, waiting to see what was in store.

Ashe knocked her fist on one of the glass panes twice. “Alright, Ty. Start it up!” She said eagerly.

The lights of the room instantly shut off and the murmurs died instantly. Peter could hear the sharp intake of breath as everyone was suddenly waiting very eagerly.

A voice rang out through the room.

“Everything is achievable through technology...”

Peter recognized the voice, he had heard it a few times.

Howard Stark.

Gasps rang out through the room because standing in the center of the room was Howard Stark. Or more accurate, a hologram of him. It stood there, looking around generically, but you couldn't help but feel like he was actually looking at you when his eyes happened to meet yours.

“Is that a hologram?”

“Isn’t that the founder?”

A bunch more hushed whispers echoed out, followed by an almost equal number of “shhhhh”.

Ned was gaping like a fish as he stared at the man in the old suit who walked forward, continuing to talk.

“Better living, robust health, and for the first time in human history, the possibility of world peace.”

He stopped and gently shoved his hands into his suit pockets. “I’m Howard Stark, and everything you’ll need in the future can be found right here.” He said with a sweeping motion of his arm.

As he did though the room changed.

One second they were standing in a dark room with a holographic dead founder talking to them, and the next there was a rush of light of colors from all around and suddenly they were standing in a fairground. Students gasped, talking in hush whispers as they looked around. Peter saw Betty even hesitantly reach out and touch the wall, which was still very much there, but it looked like she was touching an invisible wall in the park. Almost. There was just enough of a discrepancy that you could see the edge without stumbling face first into it accidentally. Peter guessed that had been a lesson learned the hard way, knowing the interns.

There were displays in every direction. There was a general ambiance of futurism, but it was anachronistic with the old visions of the future, incredibly outdated despite their best guesses of the time, being displayed by technology they couldn’t dream of. Displays of imaginary space suits, flying cars, toasters. Everything was in the distance as the world around them began to move across the ground, as if they were on a guided tour.

Everyone was still mostly rooted in place, and as if to lead them, Ashe walked across the room, mumbling a bit about watching out for the center kiosk, but went deliberately to look at a display from the far end of the wall. Peter followed her suit, just to encourage people as he walked across it too. It was a bit disorienting, with the world moving at it’s own pace while you walk. Kind of like those automated walkways at the airport, but not too jarring thankfully. Again, he figured it was probably a product of trial and error and an uncomfortable number of nauseous interns testing it.

Crowds bustled around them, phasing through people as the holograms were interrupted by the actual people in the room, even though Peter saw a student or two from their class hurriedly avoiding them muttering out apologies. Peter couldn’t blame them, it almost looked real.

He knew how disorienting it could be to be surrounded by illusions. Just like… him… whenever.. He fought…

Peter’s attention was snapped back to the present as Howard continued finally.

“From all of us at Stark Industries, I would like to personally thank you for visiting us. For your interest in helping shape the world into a better future.” For a few more moments they continued to float through the imagined space. Old music playing over a staticy sound system, girls in rather revealing outfits dancing and parading themselves around displays, all before it settled near the center of the area where Howard was once again standing there, smiling at them.

The world faded to black around them once more, and there were some groans of disappointment from the group as their apparent trip through time was cut short. Howard gave one last tip of his hat, before he faded.

There was a beat of silence.

Two.

Three.

“I’ve learned a great deal from my father, and clearly humility wasn’t one of them.” Tony Stark’s voice cut in as he suddenly walked forward, emerging from nothing and standing where Howard stood a moment ago.

Peter was almost tempted to reach out and touch him because it was strange seeing him so clearly there, but not at the same time. Peter knew it was a hologram, but he could have sworn it was real.

He raised his arms and a massive Arc Reactor, the old prototype emerged from the ground, large, and humming with energy. It dwarfed their size, and it felt surreal standing so close to it.

“The Arc Reactor was one of my first successes in his company, outside of our military contracts.” Tony said. He smiled at the group and it looked genuine.

It looked real.

Too real. Like he had seen before. Illusions. But they never stayed pleasant like this. Peter stepped back, bumping his back against the wall. This was dangerous. He couldn’t tell if it was his spider sense or anxiety that was now gripping the lower part of his neck. His heart began to beat much faster.

Too fast. Was he dying? Maybe. Was this real? He kept waiting for it to change like it always did. Tony would pull a gun on him. Or melt into spiders. Or get shot. Maybe the other avengers would show up to die painfully. Or attack him. Or each other. Peter’s fists were clenched tightly at his side and they started to shake.

Why wouldn’t he hurry the fuck up and kill Tony already. Peter didn’t have time for this. He didn’t want to see his mentor die again. He didn’t want to have to punch it just to make it go away. He just wanted to scream. He could see Tony’s lips moving, probably continuing the talk but Peter’s ears were ringing and he couldn’t hear anything. Why hadn’t the death come, was Myst-

MJ’s eyes filled his vision as she stepped directly in front of him. His eyes snapped to hers, and he felt her hand cup his cheek. It was warm. He swallowed thickly.

“R-real?” He asked shakily.

MJ’s eyes were focused, and God were they beautiful.

“Real.” She confirmed. “I’m right here, Tiger.” She whispered gently. She leaned in briefly, kissing him.

It was the strangest sensation, it was like he dropped from the sky back into his body. Everything snapped into place at the feeling of her lips briskly on his.

He could feel the pressure of her knee on the inside of his, one of her feet pressed against the inside heel of one of his as she had leaned into him. Her other hand gently holding his clenched fist as he forced it to relax and thread his fingers through hers. The sounds of Tony’s voice again.

“Under our new CEO, Pepper Potts, Stark Industries have moved on from our wartorn past and once again begun the long process of bringing tomorrow just a little bit closer.” Then the familiar sounds of “Shoot to Thrill” by ACDC started to echo throughout the room.

Peter’s eyes glanced around and saw most of the students now looking around as a new wide arrange of displays showed around them. Cindy had noticed him and had seemed a bit concerned, but saw MJ was handling him and went back to looking at the sights after a small smile. Ned also seemed worried, but Peter offered him a reassuring smile and a moment later Ned was next to Betty as they pointed at some Iron Man suits flying high above them.

Ashe had closed half the distance towards them, concern painting her features but he gave her a shaky thumbs up and she slowly nodded, stepping off to the side but clearly keeping an eye on him.

His eyes fell back on MJ’s, finding them still locked on his patiently, a warm, if not slightly concerned smile on her face.

“You’re okay. I’m right here.” She said softly, reaching up to move his hand under her neck to her pulse point, as he felt the steady throb of it. Life. Peter took a deep breath and slowly the panicked sensation in the back of his neck faded.

“T-thank you.” He said.

MJ still examined his face, no doubt reading past anything he could ever try to hide from her in the moment before she seemed satisfied and smiled. Giving him the briefest peck on the lips before stepping next to him again.

She dropped his hand, but reached over and slid hers under the back of his shirt,resting it directly on the base of his spine, her thumb making gentle strokes over it. A steady, warm, grounding presence. She was right here, and very very real.

Peter wrapped his now free arm around her waist and held her close as he took in the sights around them.

Now that all traces of his illusionist villain had been banished to the dark recesses of his mind, he had to admit it was pretty fucking awesome.

ACDC was blaring through the speakers, and everywhere you looked seemed like a technological dream.

High up in the sky various suits of Iron Man armor were flying everywhere, both in formations and freely, firing at targets as they were thrown up and blasting them into pieces that fell into glitter before vanishing.

Off to the side near Ned and Betty Peter saw a person waving at them, their entire arm made of a prosthesis that seemed to respond almost perfectly to their mind as it picked up and played with a coin dexterously.

On the other side there was a clean energy generator that powered a trail of lights before they erupted into a massive city streat, all being powered by the small glowing blue generator. Peter wasn’t sure if it was a bit of an exaggeration, but it accomplished its intended effect based on Abe's and Cindy’s reaction.

Tony was still standing in the center, looking impossibly smug as he looked around a bit randomly to catch eyes potentially.

Glancing over at MJ, he saw her attention had finally moved from him and he saw her mouth opened ever so slightly in awe as she looked at the scene closest to them. The sleek fairground around them that had been housing most of the other displays crumbled to dirt as they were suddenly staring out over a large patch of ground, surrounded by forests that seemed to stretch off for miles.

In the center of the clearing were a few robots that were transplanting sapling trees and some further down that were planting seeds.

There was some floating text giving statistics on successfully replanted trees and reforesting that had happened over the past ten years.

Peter looked back at MJ, her face being illuminated by the green as he saw the faintest traces of wonder in her eyes. An emotion he knew she felt as much as everyone else did, but hid from the world to keep herself safe. But seeing that look in her eyes, the smallest smile on her face, the way her eyes shifted to his and her smile grew even more, made his chest feel warm. He realized, there was nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for her. Nothing he wouldn’t do to see that smile every day for as long as he lived. He would move mountains for her if she asked.

He rested his forehead against hers for a moment, a serene oasis in the loud ACDC played. Eventually the music started to quiet down and everyone looked back to where Tony was still standing. Behind him an Iron Man suit landed in the hero pose, before it stood up and opened up, encasing Tony in it.

“Stark Industries is leading the world to the future. Try to keep up.” He said with one last smirk, before the helmet closed and he blasted off into the sky.

A second later and the regular lights slowly turned on as they were gradually reintroduced to the plain chamber as all the holograms powered down.

Everyone just sort of stood still, letting out a few deep breaths.

“Dude…” Abe said.

“That was…” Betty started.

“SO FUCKING AWESOME.” Jason said excitedly.

“Lonello!” Harrington snapped at the language, but seemed just as starstruck.

There was a loud eruption of conversations as people started gushing about the experience.

Ashe clearly leaned back, an almost maternal smile as she saw the excitement through the class and gave them a moment to process things.

Peter glanced over to MJ, and Ned and Betty who had joined them.

“Dude, that was insane!” Ned started out, practically shaking with how excited he was.

“I can’t even imagine how they did that.” Betty offered.

MJ smiled. “Yeah… that was pretty cool.” Everyone seemed a bit shocked by her honest confession, but no one was going to call her out on it. They knew she was working on being more open with others and the last thing they wanted to do was discourage her from it.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen this before. I knew they were working on it, even helped a bit, but it was nowhere near that… immersive.” He offered, hearing his own slight amazement and thankfully not much of the fear that crept in.

He felt a slight increase of the pressure on his back. MJ’s face portrayed nothing, but it was a clear reminder.

Im right here.

He just squeezed her a little closer from his arm around her side.

“You worked on that?” Betty said, a little too loud of surprise.

The class looked over at Peter both surprised and a little skeptical.

He raised his free hand in a sort of peace gesture. “Not like… the actual holograms. They must have… God, I don’t even know the level of artists and programmers that took. I just meant more of the basic technology.”

MJ snorted. “Basic. Sure.”

Peter rolled his eyes, tickling her side ever so slightly making her squirm before she kicked his shin in retaliation. “You know what I mean. I worked with the other interns on the back end.” He offered. He didn’t want to go into detail about working directly with Tony on it, or how it worked because he really didn’t wanna spoil the magic of something so fantastical.

“Sure you did, Parker.” Flash said in disbelief. Before he could chime in with any more eloquent comments, Ashe clapped her hands together once.

“Well then! You seem to have remembered which way is up, so how about we move on to the rest of the tour? I promise you there’s still plenty to be amazed by.” She said as she ushered them to the opposite of where they entered where there were more flush doors in the wall.

She seemed to do a head count, before checking her tablet to verify that she did indeed not forget the number of people she was responsible, before she smiled and moved open the doors.

Once again, the students burst into an excited murmur.

There was a rather tall young man, sleeves rolled up on a simple blue dress shirt and jeans as he leaned against a little kiosk. He had shaggy black hair, and a calm smile as he watched the students.

But none of them were watching him because behind him it looked like an arcade from the future. It was a series of rooms, all displaying various holograms above the tables. Other machines littered the walls and the room was darker to allow the lights emitting from the machines to draw your eyes in even more. People stumbled forward a bit more, but none of them were willing to go past the man without permission.

Peter glanced over at Ashe as she was staring at the guy in surprise.

“Ashelyn.” He said simply, an almost smug look on his face as he raised an eyebrow.

“Tyler.” She replied professionally, but Peter could see the barely constrained snickers that both of them were trying to keep hidden.

MJ glanced between the two young adults before looking at Peter.

Peter just rolled his eyes. “You’ll see.”

The two young adults had locked eyes long enough and seemed to be having a silent discussion long enough for the incredibly impatient teenagers who were desperate to see the technological wonderland just out of their reach to feel a little awkward.

Peter cleared his throat a bit loudly and both Ashe and Tyler seemed to snap back to reality, the faintest hint of a blush on both of their cheeks.

“Welcome…”

“Midtown.” Ashe supplied helpfully.

Tyler shot her a grateful look. “Welcome, Midtown. I hope you enjoyed our little introduction. A bit of a step up from our old lecture, I would say?” He asked, waiting for a chorus of replies.

“Yes!”

“Incredible!”

“Fucking amazing!”

“Lonello...” Harrington’s voice sounded more tired this time.

Tyler just smiled at them. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. It has been the product of months of hard labor, and many technological breakthroughs from all across Stark Industries to achieve. My name is Tyler, and I am one of the floor managers of the R&D department, with a specialty in audio development, though my floor covers a bit broader range as well. I have volunteered to serve as your specialist to answer any tech related questions you may have, if any happen to be beyond Ashe’s understanding.”

Ashe snorted out a laugh at that. “I appreciate the confidence Fros- Tyler but you know I leave the technology to you labrats down here. I appreciate the new headphones you guys released last month, but the most I know about them is I’m pretty sure they have a speaker in them somewhere.”

There were a few laughs from the group at that and the lovestruck look Tyler gave her made Peter wonder if he was that obvious when he looked at MJ.

(He was.)

Cindy raised her hand.

“Yes?” Tyler asked, pointing at her patiently.

“Are the tours usually led by floor managers? You seem a bit… important. Not that we aren’t incredibly grateful!” She added quickly, embarrassment creeping in after her brain caught up to her curiosity.

Tyler shrugged, not bothered by the question. “Usually no, we have mid level interns give these tours to gain experience in presenting their work though we are always available to help them when needed. This is more of an… exception.” He offered, his eyes flickering over to Ashe who was hiding her laugher behind her fist as she tried to suppress her giggles.

Peter laughed at that, apparently loud enough for Tyler’s eyes to lock onto his. He tilted his head slightly and Peter blushed. Oops. Busted.

“Pet-”

“Okay! How about we get started!” Ashe cut him off, giving him a look that apparently he understood to mean just follow her lead.

“Right! So, there are three rooms behind us, and you’re free to interact with any of the displays there. Unfortunately we do have to ask you to not use your phones in these areas. While you will be free to discuss anything you see here, some of the technology is new and patent pending, and we would prefer visuals of it not be released ahead of our schedule. I must insist that this rule is rather strictly enforced, and FRIDAY will be keeping a close eye out.” He said, his voice calm and even. “Right Fri?”

“That is correct, Tyler. Upon the exit of the third room in the back, you will be able to use your devices again. Feel free to silence any devices or respond before you pass the ropes up ahead, but we ask you not to attempt to film the area from here either.”

A couple of students pulled out their phone and silenced them just to prevent any temptation. Peter actually did that himself, because while he was pretty sure he was actually an exception to the rule, since he knew way more sensitive technology than this, he wasn’t exactly looking to prove a point and he had a habit of forgetting.

MJ, Ned, and Betty seemed to trust him and followed his lead.

“Now that the lame rules are out of the way, let me explain a bit more. Feel free to explore any of the machines up ahead. All of the holographic displays are interactable, and feel free to engage with them to your heart's content. Common sense rules apply here too. Don’t steal anything. Don’t break anything. Don’t run around.” He offered, raising an eyebrow. “Midtown is a reputable school, so behave but beyond that have fun and find me or Ashe if you have any questions.”

With that, he stepped aside and the students rushed in, spreading out to all corners of the first room as they started looking around and fiddling with things.

Ned and Betty went to the nearest display table and as Peter was about to lead MJ in, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Turning, he saw Ashe looking at him with a concerned expression.

“Are you okay? I saw your reaction in the holodeck. I know it can be disorienting.”

Peter nodded, smiling as he felt MJ increase the pressure again. “Just… caught me off guard.”

Ashe nodded, fidgeting slightly. “I… wasn’t sure if I should have cut it off. I was about to head over and ask you…”

Peter shook his head quickly. “No! I’m glad you didn’t. It was incredible. I was fine.” He offered, even though the last bit was clearly a lie.

“It’s okay, that’s what I’m here for.” MJ chimed in, making Ashe laugh.

“Yeah, you did distract him pretty well. I must say.” A teasing lilt in Ashe’s tone. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people make out when surrounded by cutting edge hologram tech.”

Peter’s face flushed red and he buried his face into MJ’s shoulder. MJ just shrugged, hoping to hide her own embarrassment.

“Really? Cause I distinctly remember something similar.” Tyler’s voice chimed in, making everyone look at him as he reached out and squeezed Ashe’s hand.

Ashe flushed red and slapped his chest.

“Frosty! Shut up.” She muttered, glancing around.

MJ glanced at Peter, then the two.

Peter was just laughing at the sweet revenge. “They uh… know each other.” He offered, not sure how much to reveal about their personal life.

Ashe rolled her eyes, and held up her hand where there was an engagement ring on it.

“I see.” MJ said, smirking. “Explains why Peter’s boss is crashing our tour group.”

Tyler shrugged. ”Ashe normally works so far away.” He whined uncharacteristically for the calm man, earning an eye roll from Ashe. “Plus I’m not Peter’s boss. Kinda. Technically?”

Peter and Tyler both looked at each other, confused.

“I… don’t know.” Peter confessed as both boys seemed to ponder the problem.

“A well run organization, I see. Very cutting edge.” MJ offered and Ashe snorted a laugh at that.

Peter nudged her side. “I mean I work for Tony directly. But I also spend time helping out the other interns where I’m needed, or wherever Tony gets the impulse to send me that day. So some days he is? But like, Tony is his boss so I don’t know.”

Tyler just shrugged. “I listen to Tony, and you listen to me while you’re here, but I think that’s just because you’re nice. So as long as nothing gets messed up we can all just agree Pepper is the boss of all of us.”

Peter nodded. “Probably the safest bet.”

Ashe and MJ both shared a look. “Are all tech nerds this much of a mess?” MJ deadpanned.

Ashe just nodded. “Our sample size seems to suggest so. At least they’re cute.” She offered, kissing Tyler on the cheek.

MJ snickered. “True.” And squeezed Peter’s hand.

“You’re taking a field trip to your job?” Tyler asked Peter, an amused expression on his face.

Peter let out a sigh that made him feel years older. “Yeah. Cause my life is a joke. Don’t make it worse?” He asked hopefully.

Tyler nodded. “Trust me, I get it. I still tell people I just work in the labs in SI. Attention sucks.”

Ashe sighed but wrapped an arm around him. “Even if you deserve it.”

Tyler sighed with a small smile and stepped away. “I guess I should do my job and not keep flirting with you. That’s why they banned you from my Lab. They kept saying I get nothing done.” He said without a single regret in his tone. He turned and disappeared farther in.

Ashe just let out a dreamy sigh after him before her attention snapped back to Peter and MJ who were both judging her and snickering. She ushered them in. “Go be nerds.”

Peter let out a laugh and dragged MJ by the hand over to Ned and Betty as they fumbled with the controls to the holo display. Ned was waving his hands around it and made a display of the latest Stark Phone expand and shrink.

“Okay, that’s pretty cool.” MJ confessed as she hesitantly reached a hand out. Both Ned and Betty stepped back to let her interact with it for a moment.

Peter was surprised as MJ seemed to be a bit of a natural at interacting with it. Her intuition let her pick up the general motion controls as she was able to move it around naturally, and soon started to separate it into pieces. There weren’t specifics to protect trade secrets, but you could see the general parts. She paused to tie her hair up, because it kept getting in her face when she would move for a larger movement.

Eventually MJ noticed Peter staring at her with a strange smile and she paused, having disassembled and enlarged the camera part she was playing with. “What?” She asked, a hint of self consciousness leaking into her tone.

Peter just gave her a shy smile. “You’re in a lab, playing with tech like this. It’s uh… really hot.” He confessed in a quiet tone.

MJ felt her own face flush. “Oh my God, Peter. You’re such a nerd.” She mumbled out, but also filed that fact safely away for potential future use.

“Aww.” Ned said dramatically as he looked between them.

“That’s cute, but we really don’t need to know about your feti-” Betty was cut off as MJ interrupted, loudly.

“Okay! So what else is there?” She said, turning away from the table, the same time Peter, bright red spoke too.

“It’s not like that!” Peter looked about 30 seconds from running out of the room.

Ned and Betty shared a look, but let the subject drop. For now.

They wandered over to a nearby machine that wasn’t occupied by the classmates. “What is this?” MJ asked, walking up behind Peter and resting her chin on his shoulder.

Peter leaned his head against hers for a moment. “Surprisingly one of the most tame things here. It’s just a 3D printer. Just a lot faster and has more materials it can work with.

“But what can it print here?” Ned asked, brow furrowed.

Peter’s smile grew wider. “Oh, anything. You’re gonna love this.” He said before leading them to a nearby table. Clicking to the right program, MJ raised an eyebrow. “Is that photoshop?”

Peter shrugged, already deep in work mode. “Kinda. It’s a 3D modelling software we developed. But it’s a bit more interactive.”

Peter reached out towards and area of the holographic display and a clump of a material digitally appeared in his hand. He began to squash and stretch it, occasionally adding more.

“See, you can copy and paste if you make this motion…” he mumbled out to them as they stepped back and watched him work with a fascination. A few other of his classmates even wandered over, starting to watch Peter work. Peter however, was too deep in thought as he worked on bringing the thought he had to life and MJ and Ned knew better than to try and snap him out of his zone.

“You can change the material here. The program is also smart, so if you’re trying to select a part of it it will generally help you get what you need.” He said as he enlarged the form and with two fingers held together started to select the top part of it, before cycling through a few different materials and dragging it onto it as the form changed into a clear plastic.

“Dude… is that?” Ned asked as Peter just grinned.

“You are such a nerd.” MJ repeated, overly fond as she watched Peter put on some minor details.

Shrinking it down a bit, Peter swiped his hand as the whole form began rotating a few times, showing off the final result.

“It’s just a quick mockup to show you what you can do here. I didn’t really dig into details but I could have taken off the glass and added the seats to it. I also could have made the form hollow if I wanted to include some kind of engine in this, but I really only have a few minutes. But I know the X-wing is your favorite Ned so I thought I’d just…”

Peter trailed off as he owlishly blinked at the group of students who were all staring at his floating model of the X-Wing from star wars that he had just sculpted out roughly. “Uh… hi guys.” He muttered out. “When did…”

“Dude, you’ve been in your own world for like 10 minutes.” Ned said, nudging him, but still staring at the X-Wing.

“Peter, how do you know how to do this so well?” Cindy asked, tilting her head as she watched the model rotate slowly still.

Peter shrugged, a blush creeping up on his face. “I told you, I intern here. We uh… use this to help make mock-ups. It’s good for playing with visuals.”

“It’s true.” Tyler’s cool voice cut in, making the class turn to see him standing there, hands in pockets as he smiled. “Peter is correct. It’s often useful to have a visual model handy when either pitching an idea, or to help generate ideas because keeping things purely theoretical can get in the way of finding obvious solutions sometimes.”

The class nodded with murmurs of agreement.

“Peter, the machine is fully stocked so feel free to print it off. Does anyone else want to try as well?” A bunch of hands shot up and Tyler nodded, glancing around. One of the displays of the Stark Tablet was pretty much empty so he walked over, typing in a password and switched the program to be another display of the modelling program to allow more people to mess around with it at once.

“I’ll set it up over here as well. You will need to take turns with the printer, but feel free to print off a model if you want. Please be reasonable about the size though, due to time and costs.”

Peter quickly sent the print request to the machine as he stepped back, saving his project with a quick override for later use just in case, then brought up some blank models for people to try out. His cheeks were still flushed as he went over and collected the model, handing it to Ned as he watched Betty starting to sculpt a sort of old fashioned camera.

“Dude! That’s incredible!” Ned marveled as he held up the mini ship, flying it through the air.

“That was pretty cool, Peter.” Cindy confirmed as Peter could only nod, flustering under the praise.

Tyler bounced between the people at the nearby tables, answering questions and helping them get comfortable with the program and soon most people had printed off little figurines. He saw MJ waiting on something, but she had told him to leave when he tried to see what she was working on, saying it was a surprise so he had settled for showing Ned and Betty some of the other nearby machines, various displays and robotics. It took all of his will power not to peak at whatever MJ had been working on.

Eventually though he saw Flash had taken her place and she was standing near the printer, waiting for the result. He wandered over while Ned and Betty were taking photos with a camera that hovered in place

“What did you make?” Peter asked, his tone a little more whinier than he had planned. He couldn’t help it though, the curiosity was killing him.

She just rolled her eyes and patted his head patronizingly. “Soon.”

Peter harrumphed and crossed his arms.

“Hey, Penis!” Flash called out, and letting out a sigh, Peter turned slowly.

“Really, Flash?” He asked, glancing over at Ashe who was frowning at Flash and whispering something to Tyler. Welp, that probably wasn’t good.

“Just wanted to show you what an actual good design looks like, unlike your stupid spaceship.” He said smugly as he enlarged his design and spun it around. It was… a suit of Iron Man armor. Kinda. Almost.

The proportions were way off, and it was almost aggressively lumpy despite the many smoothing tools available. Still, Peter figured it wasn’t the worst he’s seen.

“Real cool, Flash.” He offered, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Flash just sent him a smile as if he had been genuine. “You should pass it to Mr. Stark.” His voice said almost impressively condescending. “I made some cool changes I think he’d like.”

Peter glanced over it and grimaced slightly. He thought it would be cool to have a sort of back panel that looked kinda cool, but also dramatically limited the motion of the arms, which was not something Tony could do without. It also had enough solid panels wrapping around the body to prevent any easy access in and out of the suit.

“Sure, I’ll do that.” Peter muttered as Flash highfived with his friends, as if he had put Peter in his place.

His eyes flickered over to Ashe, who was not looking happy and even Tyler had a frown on his face now.

“I gotta print this.” Flash said as he went to print it, only to see the queue. Frowning, he moved his to the top, cancelling the print in progress, which also deleted it.

“Flash! What the fuck!” Cindy said, whirling around, fists clenched.

“Oh shit.” Flash muttered, not realizing he had canceled it.

“What happened?” Tyler asked as he approached, Harrington showing up as well.

“He canceled my print and now it’s gone!” Cindy said, a layer of hurt under her anger.

Tyler’s brow furrowed. “Is this true?”

Flash looked a bit pale. “I was just trying to make sure mine got printed before we ran out of stuff.”

Cindy was trying to navigate the holotable. “I can’t find it… My spider.” She said, her voice dropping into a hint of heartbreak.

“Flash, that is not okay.” Mr. Harrington started to scold Flash who only looked mildly bothered by it.

MJ and Betty moved over to Cindy, consoling her as she pouted and glared at Flash.

Peter locked eyes with Tyler as they approached the table. “I think it got deleted as more people started working on their projects.” Tyler said as he searched all open files.

Peter frowned, crossing his arms. He glanced over at Cindy as she looked at him with hopeful eyes, as if he could save her. MJ gave him a look expectantly. Like she had absolute faith in him to solve this problem. He felt a warmth in his chest and turned back.

“Tyler, do these still have the same programs we use? Just in a display mode or something?”

Tyler nodded. “Yeah, these weren’t made specifically for this, we just locked out access to some of the features since the public would be using it. Why?” He asked, trying to figure out what Peter had realized.

Peter nodded. “Which means, they would have the same protocols, right?”

Tyler’s eyes widened, catching up. “It would.” He paused. “But this isn’t technically my department. I’m kinda crashing here to help out. I don’t know if I have access.”

Peter frowned, that was a good point. Depending on who set the restrictions, they could either out rank Tyler, or be at the same level. Still, there was someone above them all.

“Hey, Fri?” Peter asked.

“Yes, Peter. How can I help?” The voice came from the table in front of them, making some of the nearby students jump.

“This table still has all the normal protocols active, even if locked off, right?”

“That is correct.”

“Can you run one for us, please?”

“I’d need to override the access.”

“Ask Mr. Stark for permission, please.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Do you seriously think you can just ask favors from Iron man, Peter? Just because you intern here?” Flash asked, as if he was embarrassed for Peter and looked apologetically to Tyler and Ashe. The audacity of him.

“Please check your phone, Peter.” Fri chimed in after a moment.

Peter looked to Tyler, and Tyler just shrugged. They both knew he actually had permission too, but he was trying to make it less of a show about wielding his privilege around here.

Pulling out his phone, he saw a text from Tony.

Fri requested an override. Pretty sure you can do that on your own. Everything OK?

Peter responded quickly.

Yeah. Just need to run a protocol to help a classmate. Trying not to be obvious about what I can do.

Lame, if you got it, flaunt it.

So is that a yes?

Yeah, just try not to give away company secrets or something.

Peter snorted out a laugh, earning an amused look from MJ. He passed her his phone while he turned back to the table.

“What Protocol would you like to run, Peter?” Fri asked.

“Run ‘Shit, I should probably sleep’ please.”

Everyone except for Tyler looked at him confused.

“Pulling up temporary back-ups now.” A few people understood and laughed.

Tyler just grinned. “This isn’t the first time we’ve had to try and recover unsaved work. Thankfully we keep a temporary back-up of everything now.”

“That’s because your department is held together by caffeine, stubbornness, and concerned loved ones who are the only reason you guys ever eat and sleep.” Ashe chimed in happily.

Tyler rolled his eyes but didn’t offer any protest. Peter really couldn’t say anything either. Tony might be the worst of them all, but that didn’t mean the rest were particularly great at holding back when they felt inspired. Overtime wasn’t encouraged and actually discouraged because of that.

“Can you find a spider model from the past hour?”

“Right away.” Fri offered as the screen displayed various files being scanned through quickly.

Eventually a model popped up. “Is this it, Cindy?” Peter asked.

“Yes!” Cindy said, throwing her arms around Peter in a quick hug. Peter just grinned and returned the hug quickly, glancing at MJ who was giving him a proud smile.

Flash was holding the model he printed out as if it was worth it’s weight in gold. Peter quickly moved Cindy’s order to the top of the list and it began printing.

“Thank you Fri.” Peter offered as the program went back to its default state.

“My pleasure, Peter. Glad to be of help.”

There were some murmurs and people looking at Peter. He started to squirm a bit, not a huge fan of the attention he just drew to himself, but the look on Cindy’s face was worth it. He knew how devastating it was to lose something you worked on and were excited about, even if it was a smaller project.

MJ, sensing his distress, grabbed his hand and led him towards the second room of the area. “Come on, let’s explore more.” She offered and Peter just let her drag him along.

The next area was a bit similar to the last one. More tables with displays, but no printing machines around. Instead there were rough displays of a bunch of Avenger’s tech everywhere. No specifics were available, but there were a bunch of costumes you could look at different parts of, pull apart, mix and match.

Ned promptly freaked the fuck out and ran over to one of the tables with the shortest line. Betty, MJ, and him followed shortly behind. Peter watched him swipe through a bunch of different armors quickly, gasping with each one.

Peter turned to MJ, seeing her watching Cindy hold up the spider proudly.

“You’re a nice guy.” MJ said, finally looking back at Peter.

Peter shrugged. “I know how much it sucks to lose a project.”

MJ rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I mean. You wanted to avoid drawing any attention to yourself during this trip, but the second a classmate lost a project they worked on for a couple of minutes, you contacted Tony to ask for his help.”

Peter was lost in her smile for a moment. “I mean… I could have used my override, but I was trying to act like just an intern.”

MJ nodded. “And if Tony ignored the request you would override it yourself. I know you would have.”

She was right. Peter just shrugged. “What did you make anyway?”

MJ pursed her lips, as if debating telling him. “I was gonna keep it a surprise till later but you deserve a treat for that.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small figure. It was a cartoonish looking spiderman, complete with him posing in his thwip motion. It was tiny, about the size of a keychain, but surprisingly well made and accurate to this usual suit.

MJ felt her heart fluttered as she saw his expression. His brown eyes had gone wide as she held up the dumb little figure she made. His eyes kept flicking between hers and the figure as he practically glowed with happiness. It was really unfair that such a little gesture could make her boyfriend look so adorable.

MJ knew Spider-man meant the world to him, and that he was always afraid she’d hate it because of the drama it brought into their lives. But MJ was so proud of him, and while she wasn’t one to overly brag, heaven forbid he get Tony’s arrogance, she did think the world of him for doing it.

So if she could make his day by making a little trinket, she’d make them for the rest of her life.

Peter just leaned forward and kissed her quickly, knowing they had probably already shown more PDA than they usually would but he couldn’t help it. “You’re incredible.”

MJ scoffed. “It’s not that well done. It was quick.”

Shaking his head, Peter still met her eyes. “That’s not what I meant. I meant you. All of you. That too, but you.”

MJ blushed and turned her head, unable to handle the compliments. She just pocketed the figurine for safety before taking his hand and turned them back to where Betty was examining Black Widow’s outfit.

“These Widow Bites are pretty sweet.”

Peter nodded. “They’re terrifying.”

MJ laughed. “Spider-man should get some then. Maybe she’d lend him one then, they have to spider pals or something.” She offered a teasing glance at Peter.

Peter knew MJ knew he was friends with Natasha. She also knew Nat would never let him try them out, because that was a horrible idea that would end up with probably at least two different people hurt.

Betty stepped back and Peter thought for a moment. “What, like spider fangs?” Then he paused. “Actually…” He suddenly pulled up both the suits for Spider-man and Black Widow. The suits were old and out of date, but he just wanted to test an idea so it didn’t matter.

He quickly grabbed a widow bite and enlarged it, tossing away most of the arm mount, and flicking away different launchers from it till only a few remained.

“Now pull up the web shooters.” Peter asked the holotable as they flicked up. He tossed away some of the other features on the suit. “Actually, bring up a repulsor too.” He muttered as he started stripping away parts from it to just have the glove.

MJ watched in admiration as she saw Peter in his natural habitat. Even more so than when he was sculpting, this was him at his best. She saw how tall he stood, his eyes focused but his face in a bright smile. She could practically hear the hum of the gears in his head as he gracefully navigated the menu, pulling apart holograms and attaching them with ease to form something new. He looked confident and in his element and she felt her face flush.

“I kinda get why he found it hot now.” MJ muttered to Betty quietly.

Betty laughed and just patted her shoulder. “You two were made for each other.”

MJ rolled her eyes, but Peter was waving her over. He had the hologram in his hands, but made her stick her arm out. He moved it so now the hologram was floating around her arm. It was a simple gauntlet, with the web shooters underneath but two widowbites on top as he rambled about the possibility of webbing someone up then being to launch a taser at them without electrifying the whole web necessarily.

“It’d look cooler if it was black with red highlights…” She offered and soon they were going back and forth as she posted with the holo weapon while Peter tweaked it to her suggestions.

“Hey Fri, take some pictures please.” Ashe said as she leaned against the wall near Ned and Betty.

MJ and Peter were too busy laughing with each other and playing around to notice.

“Are they always this adorable?” Ashe asked.

Ned nodded. “Yeah it’s kinda gross.” He said fondly.

Betty sighed. “It’s better since they actually asked each other out. They danced around each other for ages, it was torture to watch. We were about to lock them in the broom closet until they got together. We had made plans for it too.”

Ashe laughed and watched them fondly. She had met Peter a few times through Pepper, and seen him in the lab with Tony whenever she had been sent over there with some work for him. Peter seemed like a good kid and reminded her of her fiance when he was younger. She was glad Peter had found someone that brought out a smile like that from him. He was always smiling, but that one was different. Warmer, somehow.

Eventually the two teens seemed to realize they were getting carried away and they stepped back from the holotable to let others have a chance.

“What?” Peter asked, tilting his head.

Ashe just pulled out her phone and showed them a picture Friday had sent her.

MJ had her hand outstretched with a faint blue glow around it as the weapon hovered over her arm, Peter attaching another widow bite to it. They were looking at each other, Peter grinning while MJ had a deep warm smile.

Both of the teens blushed and didn’t say anything, but held each other’s hands.

“Fri, send that to Peter. That deserves to be printed out.”

Peter blushed more, but nodded. It was an amazing photo.

“Right away, Ashe.” Fri said. “I have cleared it of any sensitive information as well, so might I recommend adding it to your social media.”

“Thanks Fri.” Peter mumbled, blushing even more.

MJ just laughed and squeezed his hand tighter. “I needed a new screensaver anyway.”

Eventually the group made their way to the third room and everyone’s jaw dropped except for Peter. “I was waiting for this.”

#spideychelle #Michelle jones #MJ #mj x peter #Peter Parker #Spider-man #MCU #Field trip to SI #I love these two #So much #and the cameo of Tylashe #I love this fic

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silentauroriamthereal · 4 years ago

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So, a question about Mary inspired by your recent post. I know you hate her (I think she is horrible too), but is she a character that you love to hate? Do you think she is an interesting character? Does she fit a role she is written to play? There are many characters who are terrible people, but are still great characters in all their hateful glory (I think Moriarty was like that until he got turned into a caricature). Is Mary one of those for you or not?

Interesting question. I would have to say no, though. For me, what makes me appreciate a character in any respect is a combination of things, such as how interesting I find them, whether or not their motivations feel clear and well-founded, consistency, continuity in writing/characterization. Sometimes other factors, like how sympathetic I find them, or how likeable or admirable I find them in spite of agreeing wholeheartedly that the character is a terrible person from every moral standpoint. Some of these things are more subjective than others. From where I’m standing, the BBC version of Mary Morstan is severely lacking in a lot of these areas, but most sorely in having well-founded motivations and consistency/continuity. I don’t find her to be a well-written character, at all. Let me break this down a bit.

1. Do I find the character likeable in spite of moral flaws (and is this important)? No, to both. There are definitely villains that I do find likeable in spite of obvious moral failings. The obvious comparison in the BBC Sherlock world would be Moriarty. He’s obvious a terrible human being - a literal terrorist - but he’s so damned charming about it that you almost can’t help but root for him, in a way. Loki in the MCU universe is rather like that. Other villains, like Benedict’s Khan, are sympathetic not because they’re charming, but they’re intelligent and have genuinely understandable motivations (the safeguarding of his crew, for instance). Does a villain have to be likeable to be a well-written villain? Absolutely not. To use two other examples in the BBC Sherlock universe, I would cite both Magnussen and Culverton Smith. Horrible men. Good consistency of writing. Not charming or sympathetic in any way, but solidly written characters. Do I love them/love to hate them? No. I just dislike them, full stop.

2. Do I find her motivations well-founded or sympathetic? No, neither. Mary is a character who, canonically (aka this bit is not subjective to my personal opinion):

lied about her name, background, personal history, all of it, to the man she claims to love, never apologized for it or demonstrated any manner of remorse

is canonically someone who kills people and destabilizes governments (at the very least) for personal gain, never faced any consequences in terms of criminal justice or retribution for these crimes or indicated any manner of remorse for them

attacked her own maid of honour - a person whom she befriended for the sole reason of gaining access to her boss’s office - and left her bleeding on the floor, never demonstrated any manner of remorse for this, either

her motivations are weirdly unfounded. The best example of this is her choice to shoot Sherlock rather than Magnussen that night. Her initial motivation was to ensure Magnussen’s silence so that John wouldn’t find out who she really was/so that she wouldn’t be forced to face justice for her criminal history. Shooting Sherlock did nothing to ensure Magnussen’s silence. If she intended Sherlock to die, it would have ensured HIS silence, but not Magnussen’s. If she didn’t intend Sherlock to die, then I’m not sure what it accomplished, since the very first thing he did once he was physically able was to tell John - exactly what she didn’t want. And it still did nothing to ensure Magnussen’s silence. She just left that wide open and instead made the extremely overboard choice to shoot the best man at her own wedding (not hugely worse than attacking the maid of honour, but still). She could have tried appealing for his help, using compassion for John as a persuading factor. She could have tried threatening HIM at gunpoint to guarantee his ongoing silence. Instead she went straight for the heart, quite literally. Unfounded and ineffective - a really irritating combination!

3. Do I find the character consistently written with solid continuity? NO. This is probably my biggest beef with the character. The worst, I find, is being sold a crock of horseshit about Mary having had some sort of redemption “arc”. An arc, by definition, is a shape that has a beginning, a peak, and an end. There was no lead-up to this “peak” moment of Mary suddenly discovering remorse for having shot Sherlock - that, and nothing else. There was nothing in the writing or in her characterization to support such an out-of-left-field move. There was no gradual shift in her motivations, which were consistently to that point nothing more than self-preservation, protecting her own interests: keep John in the dark so that he couldn’t make an informed decision for himself, tell any lie to keep what she wants (John, albeit an ignorant version of him), run away/protect herself. She deserted her AGRA teammates, leaving literally half of them behind to suffer torture and/or death without even confirming that they were beyond rescue, then repeated her pattern, attacking Sherlock (AGAIN) and running off to leave John and her own child behind. Her lack of remorse for any of this was consistent as well - she clearly felt wholly justified in all of these actions, that she had nothing to apologize for. That JOHN was the one in the wrong by not speaking to her for “months of silence” after she shot his best friend in the heart, that she had every right to dictate what John could or could not do, that he had no right to have a say in naming their child, that she somehow “had” to shoot Sherlock, that John and Sherlock were so much less intelligent than she was that she couldn’t have them “hanging off her gun arm” - when in fact, it was John who outsmarted her by planting the tracking device in the USB key that he already knew she would attack Sherlock over and steal.

4. Do I find the character admirable, if not likeable? No. Mary is a coward, interested in nothing beyond what she wants. She has no noble, greater motivations than personal gain. She doesn’t care about what consequences her actions have, least of all on the man she supposedly “loves”, or on her own infant that she left behind. She commits crimes for money, not out of some need to defend the innocent, patriotic reasons (which I personally don’t subscribe to anyway, but others do), self-defense, even - just money. I find that so completely gross. Money =/= an admirable motivation, especially not when it’s gained through literal murder. I admire honesty, courage, self-sacrifice, real love, which puts the needs and wants and health of the beloved above one’s own. Mary demonstrates absolutely none of these things. She wants for herself and no one else, and I have never once swallowed this notion that she’s somehow smarter than Sherlock, Mycroft, and John combined. Not only did John himself outwit her with ease, but it felt like transparent pandering to Amanda Abbington as recompense for them writing her out of the show. And then they doubled down on it with creating some ghost version of Mary that John needs some SERIOUS therapy to deal with that actually bore no resemblance to Mary as she actually was, then gave her that gross voiceover that reasonlessly granted her credit for having created one of the greatest friendships in English literary history. That, at least, is consistent with the writers having had Mary set herself up as the broker of John and Sherlock’s friendship in TEH, which I also never bought. They didn’t need her help; John just needed time to cool down and come to understand - he couldn’t even last 24 hours without going to find Sherlock of his own accord. They didn’t need her “help” and she certainly didn’t “create” them.

So yeah, no: I hate the character, hate the inconsistency even more, wish they had followed through with the solid villain arc they actually wrote. I don’t think that Mary is “strong” or “interesting” just because she uses violence for personal gain. I don’t think she’s a good role model or an interesting character - I just see selfishness, greed, and cowardice.

#sherlock #that wife #not tagging the character because I'd rather not bring the stans down on me!#john watson #moftiss #northernstardust

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lavenderek · 4 years ago

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So you're saying you don't think "underage" fic is gross. Is that what youre saying?

well, no. yuck. what i’m saying is, what exactly and specifically do we want to happen?

there should not be explicit fic about underage characters, got it. so what age can they not be under? 18? 16? what country’s laws regarding the age of consent do we prioritize? like, i think it’s gross that the age of consent is 16 in some places, but i’m an american, so i would, wouldn’t i? so ok, what if we hedged it a bit and put the age as like, 14? that way it’s not little kids, it’s all teenagers. but no, gross, 14-year-olds are children. fun fact: so are 16-year-olds. they are also children.

what about fic about two teenagers having a consensual encounter? should all romantic or sexual fic have to be about adults only? your answer to this may very well be “yes,” and that’s completely valid. a teenager writing fic might disagree. somebody who’s a big fan of a show that’s about a bunch of teenagers might disagree. should there be an adults-only section on the site? there’s already a “stop, you have to be 18″ box to check before you can access explicit fic, so how do we verify a user’s age? they can just lie about their age and click through anyway. you have to be 18 to make a youtube account and i’ve had one since i was 13. i remember very deliberately choosing a new birth year when it asked for my birthdate.

then you get to slightly greyer areas like large age gaps, or heavy role play between consenting adults. i have absolutely witnessed fic that’s clearly written to be CP, but it’s tagged as age play. so like, for all intents and purposes this is CP, but if you roll in like “hey, this is fucked up,” they can be like, “oh, so you read this picturing actual children, sicko?? you have a problem with two adults doing shit in the bedroom??? how dare you!!! don’t like don’t read!!!”

it’s kind of like on porn sites, how they make like nasty inc*st stuff but call it “stepmom” or whatever, like oh, they’re not actually related! sure, joseph, thanks for covering all your bases

so we can’t ban kinks. or can we? should we limit depictions of serious addictions or domestic abuse too? torture, or even body horror? these are generally accepted to be dark content.

i’m not trying to engage in whataboutism, i’m naming actual, relevant questions about shit that’s disturbing in real life (no offense to kink people who follow codes of consent and conduct) and can be incredibly upsetting to encounter online. shit that i can’t imagine wanting to read, let alone write.

these are the questions that we, you, i, people pro-a*3 and people anti-a*3, are all asking, and not a single one of us can or should answer them unilaterally.

so it’s like, oh, okay, so there should be no oversight at all? should there be no rules? no, obviously, that would be horrible, i don’t trust any of these fuckers to conduct themselves civilly. so there should be some rules, but not too many rules. that’s what we have now, and clearly the way things are now isn’t working because a lot of users are reasonably very upset.

should there be a voting system, and rules are set by a popular vote? should certain words be flagged and you can’t post the fic with that word in it? should there be a thing where when you post a fic, you have to select the ages of each character and that’s listed at the top of the fic? what if they age during the fic? should there be a flagging function, where you report someone for not using sufficient tags? users will find workarounds for all of this. you know they will. so mods will have to be very specific about the rules and introduce, like, a vetting system for it. which is a lot more manpower and a lot more chances for subjective judgments.

all of the above is why it operates on a tagging system instead. i’m gonna be real, i only go on a*3 to read comments on my own shit lmao, and even when i did go on there more often i never went in the tags searching for fic. so is there a blacklist function? is there a flagging function?

if there is a flagging function, maybe they make it so that if the flagged user has violated the rules, their account is suspended and their fic made private for the duration and until they add necessary tags.

cool, a compromise. but uh-oh, it turns out Mod A agrees that this fic is n*ncon, but Mod B thinks it’s just vague, not n*nconsensual, and doesn’t feel comfortable banning the fic. or it turns out User didn’t post anything flaggable, they were reported by somebody who is targeting them for some reason, or by someone who is more stringent about n*ncon than somebody else would be, like, it’s gotta be enthusiastic and verbal consent or else it’s skirting the edges too much.

it’s like, we’ve already witnessed censorship (please take this word usage gently, i know it’s touchy but it’s the word to use here) being a problem here on tumblr with their stupid nipple ban. there’s a double standard regarding whose nipples are explicit and whose are kosher for public consumption. people have to appeal their shit getting flagged and sometimes nothing gets fixed regardless. i’m sure other people are pleased that there’s less of a chance of them accidentally scrolling past a picture of a hard dick at work.

so you get it, this is a problem that’s more complicated than “all of x should be banned and if you post it there’s something wrong with you,” a belief you’re more than entitled to hold but can’t base, like, fanfic legislation off of. you get it you get it.

you get it, but like, what is the fucking deal with those “fandom moms” who go off on soliloquies about the days of old or whatever the fuck whenever this topic comes up? what about the weirdos who are like, “what’s next, banning gay fic????” yeah, if we allow gay marriage you can marry a tree, that’s how it works, thanks tiffany.

but no, the reason they do this is NOT that they think lgbtq content is comparable in any way to CP. the reason they do this is that this exact problem has taken place on every site that has ever hosted fic. and many previous sites did think lgbtq content was comparable to CP. it was categorized as adult content and hidden.

that’s why a*3 exists in the first place. it was to avoid godmodding and absolutism. it’s supposed to be more or less self-governed. i don’t want there to be CP on a*3 any more than you do, but i also don’t trust randos to decide what is and isn’t acceptable content. this topic is not new.

i’m in support of stronger government regulation in real life because it can be argued that certain actions and systems violate human rights. everybody deserves food and shelter, for example. the same can’t be argued in this case because some creep writing CP doesn’t violate my rights. i find it offensive and i don’t think they should be writing it, but my right to click the back button is intact. there is no institution making it impossible or even difficult for me to not read fanfiction. the creep could just as reasonably argue that their right to post what they want is being affected.

why is this response so long? is it because i can’t shut up? yes, but also because this is a complex issue and that’s why nobody has taken significant action on it.

people are also big mad.

i’ve never understood this impulse to see somebody not doing a thing you want them to do and assume it’s out of malice or incompetence, anyway. i don’t know anybody who volunteers for a*3 but it’s my assumption that given the choice to have us all pissed at them, or have us all not pissed at them, they would choose to have us not be pissed at them. it just seems like the reasonable reaction to have. and like, i’d be pretty shocked to part the kimono and find out they’re all CP-loving gargoyles and a*3 actually stands for A lot Of child abus3. that is the reason i have not been like, “fuck a*3.” because what are they supposed to do, you know?

there’s no simple or inarguably morally right solution here. the princess is in another castle. just post fic on tumblr, i guess? make another hosting site that’s exactly like a*3 but romantic characters can only be like, 21?

i actually think the legal age in the US should be raised to 21, not joking. your brain literally and biologically isn’t finished developing at 18. teenagers lack the world experience to make decisions that adults make.

somewhere there is an 18-year-old or a person who moved out and became self sufficient at 18 who hates this sentiment. there’s a teenager in an abusive home who would be intensely demoralized by the prospect of having to remain beholden to these people for three more years.

and there’s a parent who is relieved to know that their kid can’t be preyed on by army recruiters for three more years. there’s a person who got into a car crash with a teenager who misjudged whether or not they could make a turn who’s like, yeah, she could probably have benefited from a few more years.

nothing is as simple as it should be. i agree with you, but i’m not willing to pass blanket judgments with regards to actions that should be taken. and honestly, given how little i actually go on the site, i don’t even have a dog in this fight. so all my opinions on it are moot anyway.

(side note, if you are in an abusive home and you can’t make your own bank account, or if your bank account is monitored by your abusive parents, maybe try venmo? you can get a debit card that pulls directly from your venmo balance. a surprising number of places accept venmo payments, and this way you can save up money in secret.)

anyway uhhhhh seeya

#who is this even #haters #long post #please DO NOT REBLOG

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ahgasescenarios · 5 years ago

Text

Corrupting the Innocent Pt. 3- Dong Sicheng

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: fluff with hints of angst/suggestive

Plot summary: In which (Y/N) decides to “help” innocent exchange student Sicheng win over his crush. Except she has ulterior motives and Sicheng is too clueless to notice.

A week had passed and here you were, getting comfortable in this environment you had instilled for your lessons, with a different version of Sicheng seated by your side. Apparently, treating the situation as though it was a university course had been the right move- the exchange student wowed you with his completion of the assignment. He even vouched for extra credit, surprising you with a new fashion sense.

Your eyes skimmed over his notes, a full list of attributes on display before your eyes. Hair, eyes, lips, ears and the list went on. You nodded approvingly before handing him back the textbook.

“I’m impressed, bravo.” You paused, gauging his reaction. “How did that exercise feel?”

“Good, honestly. I hadn’t taken the time to think about it before.” He seemed pensive, a different aura about him. Could a week of changing his mindset have done this much?

You reoriented the conversation to the reason you had started this coaching in the first place.

“Now, I want you to tell me something. Have you talked to Rosé before?” He lowered his head, embarrassed.

“Not exactly.”

“Lovey, that’s going to be your assignment for the week.”

“But I’m not ready.” His eyes had taken on two sizes from pure astonishment and dare you say it, fear.

“Sure, you are.” Seeing as your words didn’t have the reassuring effect you had expected them to, you switched gears.

“Here, I’ll help you. Just pretend I’m Rosé.” You wriggled in your seat, getting comfortable for the role.

“This isn’t going to work.” His lip was caught between his teeth now. What you’d give to bite that lip.

“Yes, it is, try it.”

He finally gave in, a familiar love-shaped glimmer traveling across his eyes when he angled them back towards you.

“Hi, Sicheng.” You coaxed him into a “natural” flow of conversation.

“Hi, Rosé. What’s- um, how are you?” He scratched the back of his neck. Adorable.

“I’m great! You?”

“Um, good. Thanks.” Silence thickened the air in the room for a second, both of you standing awfully still. Sicheng was entranced by this meager roleplaying and he reached over to you, caressing your cheek lovingly. The way he was looking at you almost made you rethink your plan. You pulled back admittedly not soon enough. Why was your heart beating so fast?

“See, you’re ready.” You smiled at him encouragingly. His mind felt elsewhere, though.

“Yeah, um I should get going. I have an exam Monday so.” His vibe was off, but you dismissed him, brushing the awkwardness aside. You had probably just been nervous because of the sexual tension between you two. The newfound confidence did multiply his already obvious sex appeal (or potential, in his case).

You retired to your bedroom for the rest of the evening, alienated from the rest of the world as you rolled reruns of your favorite tv shows, barely even acknowledging the outside world. An incoming text message jolted your phone awake, only slightly capturing your attention.

Have you gotten him laid yet?

You sighed. I wish, you thought.

No, I have to keep pretending that I’m setting him up with you.

Rosé: How long are you going to keep this up for?

You shrugged; you didn’t have an answer. What Sicheng didn’t know was that you were actually friends with Rosé, and she was in on the whole thing. This scheming was what kept you two close, toying with people so they wouldn’t toy with you. Rosé shared the same view as you when it came to people and relationships which had made it easier for you to form this dynamic duo. Plus, none of her friends were keen on her “habits” so you were all she had when it came to this.

How’s project J coming along? You texted. “Project J” was code for her own plans to get Jaehyun in bed, the hot but oh-so-catholic eye candy.

Ugh, don’t get me started. He’s so much of a prude- even at the party, he would barely touch me. I’m sick of the “no sex before marriage” bullshit, I just want to fuck him already.

You could relate to that. If anyone else was reading these texts, they’d probably think you were both horrible people. That didn’t bother you, everyone was a little horrible anyway- you were just more public about it. You enjoyed these games of yours, it spiced up your otherwise rather dull life and kept you feeling alive. There was nothing like manipulating other people’s lives to make you feel in control of your own.

“Sicheng, what are you-“ You had jolted awake at the sound of someone knocking on your door, just now identifying the culprit.

“I did it, I talked to her.” He beamed with excitement; his eyes illuminated with joy. If it wasn’t so damn early, you would’ve faked happiness.

“What did you say?” You rubbed your eyes, trying to rub the fatigue out of them.

“We just talked like we rehearsed and guess what, I’m seeing her tomorrow!” His brows furrowed together. “Do you think she thinks it’s a date?”

“I don’t know Sicheng, it’s too early for ME to think.” You sighed, the word think slowly decomposing to a mess of letters you couldn’t fathom.

“Right, sorry. I should’ve called first.”

“It’s fine.” You squinted your eyes at him, he wasn’t budging from his spot. “Did you need anything else?”

“Um, can I come in actually?” He was biting his lip again, by now you had figure out the habit was the manifestation of his nerves. You stepped aside and opened the door wide.

He was twiddling his thumbs, pacing around your living room. What on Earth has gotten into him?

“Remember at the party when we were in the closet together?” You nodded, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Where was this going? you asked yourself. Your question was soon addressed as a prominent blush overcame his delicate features.

“Did you mean it when you said you would teach me how to kiss?”

You licked your lips, knitting your brows together. This had taken an interesting turn.

“Of course.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Sicheng, have you kissed a girl before?”

His teeth reflexively caught his lip as he timidly shook his head no. A virgin, yours to corrupt. Things just kept getting better and better.

“No need to be embarrassed, I’ll show you.” You offered him your most reassuring smile and he seemed to relax a tad. He sat down on your couch, gaze averting yours. His palms ran down his thighs, his nerves transpiring over every inch of his being. He looked everywhere but at you.

“Honey, this isn’t going to work if you can’t even look at me.”

To this he turned his head back around, eyes boring into yours. Emotions were wrestling each other behind those coffee brown eyes, you could tell.

“Are you sure you want to do this now?” Making them feel like it was their choice was key.

“Yes.” All hesitation from before had evaporated from his voice, perhaps those scenes before his eyes had given him a pep talk.

You crossed your legs under you, now facing the exchange student. You guided his hand to lay on your waist and he gulped. You rested your hand on his cheek and brought his face closer to yours.

“Just follow my lead, okay?” He nodded and you pressed your lips on his. You gave him a few seconds to get used to your lips on his before you started moving your lips against his. It took all your willpower not to devour him right this instant, it was just too good. He shifted towards you, asserting his hold on your waist. Your lips moved in a steady rhythm against each other’s and Sicheng slowly started to get the hang of it.

You broke away to catch your breath, Sicheng’s eyes following you avidly. You dove back in, deciding to spice things up a bit by sliding your tongue in his mouth. A single yelp resonated into your mouth before he relaxed into the kiss, tentatively adding his tongue as well. He pulled back, not realizing that the lip he had caught between his teeth was yours until you moaned out loud. You quickly covered your mouth with your hand.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” You breathed, truthfully the sound had escaped your mouth unbeknownst to you. You shouldn’t be so careless. The expression scattered on his face was one you had never seen him wear before.

“I’m gonna go.” The air was thick with tension, and not of the sexual kind. You didn’t even protest, cursing yourself for that slip-up. You hoped he wouldn’t make a habit of leaving anytime things got remotely awkward.

You let your thoughts wander as you hopped in the shower. You were enjoying him way too much; it was bordering obsession. It was the first time you had wanted someone this badly before and you weren’t sure how to feel about it.

The next day, your phone buzzed on the counter, the screen illuminating the following words from Rosé:

Next time, could you not involve me in your hook-up projects? Thanks

Right, their “date” was today. If only Sicheng knew…

Rosé was radio silent for the next couple of hours and you busied yourself with household chores, homework and things of the like. Only around dinnertime did you finally hear back from the blonde.

He barely looked at me, let alone talked to me. He seemed completely uninterested in me, weird since he asked ME out. Good work though, you’ll get him laid in no time!

Had your plan already worked? Was he already growing disinterested in Rosé? You found yourself to be the one biting your lip this time. If you had indeed succeeded, why did your heart feel like it had dropped into your stomach?

____________________________________________

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

a/n: hi loves! I just finished this series and I wanted your opinion on smth- did you want me to post the rest sooner than every week? I hope everyone is staying safe and doing well xx

#kpop #kpop fanfiction #fanfiction #kpop smut #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct winwin #wayv winwin #wayv #wayv smut #wayv scenarios #wayv fluff #dong sicheng #winwin scenarios #sicheng scenarios #corrupting the innocent

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saltpepperbeard · 5 years ago

Text

A Jotato’s THG Story (novel?)

So a few days ago, the lovely @everlarkedalways asked me to Weave My THG Tale™. And, in being VERY on brand in regards for my THG Story, I’m late to the party lol! Mostly because of work, partly because I was avoiding Ballad spoilers, and a tad bit because...I’m a potato. BUT, now that I am free of any large projects and finally have Ballad in my hands, I’m finally able to look past my potato roots and talk about how a certain wATER POTATO ARCHER CHANGED MY LIFE lmao.

Ara has jokes though, let me tell you. “Keep it short” l m a o; THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A NOVEL AND WE KNOW IT. ARE YOU READING BALLAD? HERE’S A NEW 500 PAGE BOOK FOR YOU TBH-

I’ve told this story a few times before, but it’s always delightful to look back on things and see all the twists and turns I’ve experienced with this franchise. The most notable being, I started out HATING Hunger Games lol!

I was in ninth grade when THG started to become like, a global phenomenon. Everyone was reading it, everyone was talking about it, and it was everywhere. And for whatever reason, instead of actually sitting down and, idk, GIVING IT A TRY LMAO, my reaction instead was to DESPISE IT. Guess it was that edgy, irate, “I’m ABOVE the general masses ha look at me,” fresh-out-of-middle-school mentality. And also, my justification for hating it so much was along the lines of, “Wow it’s just a series about kids killing each other? WHAT’S THE APPEAL???”

Which like fjlksjdksds...If I could look back on my early 2012 self?

She had no idea what was in store for her lmao.

Anyway, the premiere of the movie came and went, and I was still hard set in my ways. THAT WAS, until that same summer. I can’t exactly remember which clips I stumbled upon first? But I know I came across the Joshifer+Liz Banks interview, and also a ton of Perfectly Legal Movie Clips™ on YouTube. Both of which silently chained my soul without me realizing LMAO. I remember thinking that the main actors were so cute and played off each other well (AGAIN LMAO, GIRL, BIG STORM COMING), and also remember being totally intrigued by all the clips I watched. It was mainly clips of Katniss in the arena, and I think it made me realize that wow hey, there’s an ACTUAL STORY HERE, WITH A FEMALE PROTAGONIST NO LESS.

The story gets a tad fuzzy for me here, but I do believe I got the books and quickly read through them shortly after I essentially watched the entire movie on YouTube through clips jdksljdks. I can’t really recall what I thought about the books really? Because, I think I BREEZED through them. I was so excited that I just ZOOMED TF THROUGH. I inhaled the series in one GIANT GULP. I think I even read THG in a single day jdlsjklaads. It definitely wasn’t a cautious read through to get a better sense of the detail and literary devices.

BUT, despite my excitement, I still hadn’t reached the God Tier “OBSESSIVE” stage yet. The light bulb hadn’t fully come on yet. It wasn’t until late 2013 when Catching Fire came out that I REALLY STARTED TO GO BALLISTIC LMAO. Actually, one of my fondest THG memories comes from this time, because I think it was really like, the OFFICIAL starting block for my obsession.

I was riding on a bus to a Theatre Competition, and my best friend had just gotten the CF Soundtrack for us to listen to. I remember being absolutely enamored with it- Mirrors, We Remain, and Lean in particular. And idk, something at that point just kind of told me that Catching Fire was going to be my anchor. Sure enough, after the competition was over, said friend and I went to go see the movie together.

And I astral projected lmao. I ACHIEVED HUNGER GAMES ENLIGHTENMENT. THE LIGHT BULB SWITCHED TF ON.

I was quick to see it again the following day, and I think saw it another two times in theaters after that. I also started drawing fanart of it, and looking for more pictures/interviews. And the want for more content, the DESIRE to go crazy about it, is what eventually lead me to finding the fandom here on Tumblr. I had had a Tumblr since 2012, but never really used it with a purpose. But when I realized there were people posting all sorts of stuff about THG? Boom- another light bulb. I followed tons of people, and officially changed my url to what it is today. “Star’s” for my internet alias at the time, and “Mahogany” for my love of Effie/that Iconic Line.

HOWEVER LOL, Tumblr would lead me towards a different side, something I didn’t expect to get pulled into so hard at all. Because, I distinctly remember coming on one night in December of 2013, and seeing @joshmopolitan and a few others posting about Josh going to the UK game. And that of course, lead me down the Celebrity Rabbit Hole, and lead me towards the Chaotic, Wonderful, Crazy-

JOSHIFER FANDOM.

((Also, before you crinkle your nose, *raises cane* BACK IN MY DAY, EVERYONE SHIPPED JOSHIFER LOL. *Snow voice* DON’T LIE. Like, everyone thought they were cute to some sort of degree, or believed they were going to get together. Shoutout to the Joshifer Golden Days, man.))

And thank goodness for it tbh. Because it was JUST when I was itching to write fanfiction with everyone else, and just when I was struggling HARDCORE with writing Everlark. @joshmopolitan and @youarebeingridiculous were sort of my introductions into RPF, with @youarebeingridiculous giving me nudges towards my first Everlark fic, before also nudging me towards my first Joshifer fic. And when my first Joshifer fic garnered attention/when I had a blast writing it? ANOTHER. LIGHT. BULB LOL.

So I was dead af from that point on. I was absolutely drawn in. Even though I was still invested in THG, Joshifer was definitely my main focus from 2014-2016ish. I was there for the typical ship wars, there to read and write all the fanfiction, there to read all the theories, and there to partake in all the crazy moments. Shoutout to Cannes 2014 in particular lmao; I was in the car and my phone started going off like CRAZY, with many of my friends SCREAMING at me about the events/articles that had transpired.

Being attached to Joshifer also allowed me to write my first, and so far only, full length, These Words are a Lie. It started out as just a four part series, two parts of which I actually published. Befffooorrre getting to the third part and realizing I had WAY too much to deal with/explain/write, which consequently lead to me pulling them down and expanding upon them! And thus my messy, lovely, 25 chapter peanut journey started lmao. Though I look back on it now and realize how disjointed it was, I’m so thankful I was able to see that story completely through. I’m also very thankful for the SUPPORT and following it got. Wouldn’t have gotten through without y’all!

ANYWAY LMAO, because this is my THG story and not my Joshifer story, let’s get back to that. 2014 was WHACK because...LG was utterly tripping with its promotional material. And to think, it was just the START of odd/lacking promo, seeing as they were SOMEHOW WORSE WITH MJ2 LMAO. But even though I was incredibly salty at the time, it was so fun to be mad and chomping at the bit with everyone else lol. The SUFFERING OF NOT HAVING ANY NEW CONTENT BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER. Also, going to Best Buy to watch the teaser trailer under Heavy Guard??? Was an EXPERIENCE LOL??? But man was I so stoked to get my poster and pin, because that was some of the first merch I got!

ALSO, MJ1 was the time where I got the idea to create a small YouTube series called “Tributes React.” I really really wish I could have been in the fandom earlier, because it would have been, dare I say, FIRE LOL to react to more than just the MJ1 and MJ2 trailers. But it was so so fun regardless, and everyone’s participation was incredible! And now all of our early, embarrassing, INTENSE fangirling is stuck here/memorialized forever PFFFF.

And, not to mention, Fran Solo himself watched one of them. Someone tweeted the video at him, and he tweeted back that it made all the hard times worth it. MY GREATEST FANDOM ACCOMPLISHMENT RIGHT THERE???

And finally getting to watch MJ1 in theaters lmao omg. I went with my friend before, and also one of my guy friends. And the entire time, he was HARD STARING AT ME WAITING FOR ME TO CRY LOL. SO HE COULD TEASE ME. AND HE GOT HIS WISH BECAUSE OF COURSE THE LAST 30 MINUTES OR SO UTTERLY RUINED ME. I remember shivering so so SO bad when the rescue mission for Peeta started, and having to hold my friends’ hands when they were creeping through the Tribute Center, and utterly SOBBING when Peeta attacked Katniss. Because...hello...I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...WAY WAY MORE INTENSE THAN THE BOOK LMAO??

And then came the beginning of the end. I remember that promo time was even DRYER for MJ2 lmao, and that we were all DYING. Like, I think the big trailer didn’t release until like, SEPTEMBER??? WHICH...LG WHAT THE ACTUAL-

And we were also back to watching trailers in Best Buys jfkssdkdlsk. My Best Buy was also DUMB and didn’t have any posters, but @infinitegraces was awesome enough to send me numerous copies! Bless you, thank you; I had them on my wall all through college lol! DESPITE THEM BEING A HAUNTING REMINDER OF HOW HARD LG SMACKED US LMAO.

Despite my salt towards the INITIAL promo though, the premieres and what not definitely lead to MJ2 having a special place in my heart. I had just gone off to college, and was a timid, lonely little freshman with nowhere to turn. But the fandom was there for me, and MJ2 promos/premieres gave me something to be excited for. It all kept me going through that ROUGH first semester, and was there for me before I met my best friends. So thank you MJ2, and thank you all for sharing that excitement with me! <3

Also, I’d like to mention that I was SO desperate to continue the tradition of seeing the premiere with my friend thaaaaatttt...I left for Thanksgiving break two or three days early/skipped class JUST to make it back home in time to see it with her lol! I WASN’T HERE TO PLAY GAMES, Y’ALL. THG > ACADEMICS APPARENTLY PFFFF.

After that though, things kind of quieted down. I found friends and activities in college, the movies were done, and Joshifer was dying out. It lead me to use Tumblr sporadically, not posting AS much as I had before. I still had tons of love for everything, and still enjoyed coming on whenever I did!

Then I sort of stumbled upon our “renaissance,” like the lovely @everlarkedalways posting re-reads and re-watches. It tugged me in again, and made me excited to post content! I also branched out and began to write Everlark, and began talking about them/the books/meta more than I did in my earlier years.

And of course, said renaissance lead me to attending TOASTCON LMAO. Which I somehow managed to name. On accident. *Dabs unironically*

That of course, was such an amazing experience. Going to movie filming sites has always been on my bucket list, so getting to go to HUNGER GAMES SITES??? WITH FANDOM PEOPLE???? GOD TIER??????

I was also suffering from major panic/anxiety problems that summer, having just graduated college and being thrown out in the Real World™. So once again, THG and its fandom were there for me when nothing else could be. And despite me feeling off mentally, despite me feeling plagued by fatigue, I still thoroughly enjoyed meeting everyone/having such a once in a lifetime experience. Also, getting to FLEX on my friends when we watch the movies and go like “I WAS THERE! I WAS THERE!! I WAS THERE!!!” is...A Time PFFFF.

Then of course, I started working a full time job, and shifted a bit away from Tumblr/the fandom. Not DELIBERATELY; more like, I was too Mentally Tired to really do much after work. But now that Ballad is here, and now that we have new content once more? I feel like I’m waking back up. Hell, I even went to Atlanta to see MORE film sites right before the virus started to make its rounds.

And so here I am lol! A SEASONED THG VET WITH SEVEN YEARS AND COUNTING UNDER MY BELT. I would very much love to tag everyone who had an impact on me, and/or who I’ve interacted with and shared fun times with over the years. But A. Everyone really out here CONSTANTLY CHANGING THEIR URL’s, and B. The number would be Too Great and I would inevitably forget someone on accident.

SO THEN, if you’re reading this, and we’ve ever shared some kind of THG experience together, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. THG has been such a wondrous experience for me, and it’s lead me to meet all sorts of amazing, talented individuals. It’s also been there for me during darker times, and has supported me in every way possible.

I love you all, I love being here, and HERE’S TO MANY MORE TAGS/RAMBLES IN THE FUTURE LOL! Like lmao, a new movie, you guys??? WHAT??? TRIBUTES REACT ANYONE???

-Jotato Out <3

#Jodi rambles #Like #REALLY //REALLY// RAMBLES LOL #thg #THG Story #holy shit i'm so tired katniss #i've been writing for an HOUR LOL #I'M SO OUT OF PRACTICE WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING SPRINTS MAN #MY 2014 SELF IS TELLING ME TO STOP COMPLAINING BECAUSE SHE WOULD WRITE FOR EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT GJSKLDJSK #I'M RUSTY LOL #RUSTY I TELL YOU #also this is probably littered with typos #what with my Clumsy Thumbsies #but here we are lmao #There's also even MORE stuff I have mention tbh #LIKE I NEARLY FORGOT TRIBUTES REACT LMAO SO I MEAN #WHAT OTHER MEMORIES DID I MISS #WHO CAN SAY #2014-2016 WAS UTTERLY CHALKED FULL

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yoon-kooks · 5 years ago

Text

Witch Hazel- Pt.5

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: none

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

“So are you in, Jimin?”

“I’m in,” he chuckles at your little proposal. His laugh retains its charm, even through the phone. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little jealous of that charming quality of his. “But can I ask you something, Snow?”

“Go for it.”

“Why me?”

“To prove a point,” you say. “You also have something to prove, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t have shown up at my concert that night despite being well aware of how the public and media would react.”

“Right… Sorry about that, by the way.” You hear the sorrow still beating him up in his lowered voice. It makes sense that he feels the need to blame himself for all the backlash you received, but he shouldn’t have to feel guilty when all he wanted was a little freedom as a normal human being and not as the perfect idol the world makes him out to be.

“It’s fine, Jimin. We may be glorified idols at the top of the industry, but there are a lot of things we have no control over.”

“True… Sometimes it seems like the only way to escape the judgment of the public eye is to hide behind a mask, huh.” Jimin sighs. “But we can’t always live like that either.”

“Exactly.”

After hanging up, you toss your phone aside and pick up your guitar.

On your way to class, you’ve made a habit of checking jk.seagull’s blog for any updates on Witch Hazel, and you’re delighted when you find this new text post:

“it’s not done yet, but I’m planning on posting a new chapter this afternoon after class!”

To celebrate the occasion, you stop by your local coffee shop to pick up a special mocha with extra whipped cream. You’re already late for class after failing to hear your five alarms this morning anyway. And besides, maybe you deserve a little pick-me-up after all the writing you’d done the night before. For once, you feel pretty good about the direction you’re headed in.

Not even a scolding by your professor could ruin your mood.

“Oh, Y/N. How nice of you to join us,” your professor motions for you to take your seat as soon as you step foot into the art room. “I was just talking about how certain students have not been taking this class seriously as of late.”

She glances directly at you, along with your tablemates, Taehyung and Jungkook. “Sorry,” you mouth with a lack of sincerity, before taking a long sip of your mocha.

“And because of that,” the professor continues, “I’ve decided to move up the due date of our portrait project to tomorrow.”

A collective groan fills the room from the entire class, with the exception of those few lucky bastards who’ve already completed their project early. Once the class is dismissed, the scramble to actually get shit done begins. Even Taehyung opts to stick around as opposed to his usual obligations, and that speaks volumes.

As soon as your team relocates to one of the empty art studios nearby, however, it’s apparent that no one is really vibing with this project.

“So… what’s the assignment again?” Taehyung scratches his head. As much as you’d love to scold the boy for his lack of awareness of anything happening in art class, you haven’t been in the proper mindset to give the project any thought either.

“Something about drawing ourselves based on how others perceive us?” Jungkook yawns. “Or was it drawing each other’s portrait?”

“The first one, I think,” you say. “It doesn’t really make a difference when Jungkook’s gonna end up drawing Taehyung’s portion anyway.”

“True,” the boys say together. If there’s one thing you’ve learned from your art class shenanigans, it’s that the more you get to know someone, the easier it is to understand them and their actions—even if they’re completely different from you like Taehyung.

“If that’s the case, let’s hurry up and let each other know how we perceive one another. I have a doubleheader later on that I’d really hate to miss,” Taehyung nods in satisfaction at his clever wording for what you presume to be back-to-back one night stands. “I’ll start: Y/N, there’s not much I know about you besides the fact that you’re unfriendly, but I think that’s intentional. Like you’re hiding a dark secret or something. Jungkook, if you weren’t so shy, I’m sure you’d get laid more often.”

“Let’s not sugarcoat anything,” you roll your eyes. “I would say you, Taehyung, abuse your charm to get what you want. You use sleeping around as an excuse to avoid responsibility. And you embrace it because you fear that that’s the only thing people will ever acknowledge you for.”

“I’m not usually a masochist, but I kind of like it when you roast me like that, Y/N,” Taehyung shrugs it off, though you know you’ve hit the mark. Everyone has a poker face, and Kim Taehyung is no exception. To take the attention off of himself, he throws an arm around his favorite art buddy. “Roast this guy next.”

You glance over at Jungkook who’s in the midst of adding to your roast on Taehyung. It’s interesting to see how differently he acts with Taehyung, with you, and with everyone else. The more he knows someone, the less he withholds. If he knew you more, you wonder what he’d tell you. “I agree that if Jungkook weren’t so shy, there’d be more potential for a lot of things, but-”

Buzz! Taehyung looks down at his phone. “Well, that’s my cue. Jungkook, Y/N, you know what to do~”

“Have fun at your doubleheader,” you wave off your incompetent teammate until he’s out of sight. “Should we be enabling him like this?”

“Probably not. But even I can’t say no to that charm of his.” Jungkook sighs as he pulls out a blank sheet of bristol paper. In what feels like an instant, several dots and lines transform into a general outline of Taehyung’s face. “I’m surprised you haven’t fallen for his charm yet… unless…?”

“Look, I get the appeal of a smoothtalker who walks with confidence, but Taehyung really isn’t my type,” you laugh.

“Still, I’m a little envious of him.” Jungkook draws Taehyung a nice and natural wink. “Because he isn’t afraid to chase after what he wants.”

You want to tell the boy that he should chase after whatever it is he wants, but you know that’s easier said than done. After all, you know exactly how it feels to take that leap of faith, only to fall short before reaching the dream you so desired. So all you can do is nod and start working on your own portrait.

For about five whole minutes, you try to sketch out a decent upside-down egg shape for your head, but it always comes out a little lopsided or rough around the edges. Once you’ve got a little mountain of eraser shaving piling up, you decide it’s time to sneak a peek at Jungkook’s sketch to get an idea of how a well-seasoned artist draws a proper face.

What you see instead, however, is the boy staring back at your mountain of eraser shavings. You swear you hear a little pft come out of his mouth. The nerve.

“Hold your pencil like this,” he says, holding his own pencil with his pinky sticking out.

You replicate his grip, wiggling the pinky. “Is this some sort of weird pinky promise that artists do?”

Before Jungkook can even respond, your pinky is already linked to his. Funny how his finger curled around yours as if it were the most normal thing to do, but his burning cheeks say otherwise. You might’ve jumped the gun on this one.

After blinking at the empty pinky promise for a good three seconds, the boy finally lets go. “Use that pinky to steady your hand as you sketch.”

“Oh… right…” You feel a wildfire spreading across your own cheeks. Your dumbass somehow misinterpreted a drawing technique for something as childish as a pinky promise! Whether it’s because you’re flustered or just shitty at art, you fumble around to get your pencil on the paper. “…How do I do it again?”

Rather than trying to explain or demonstrate it to you, Jungkook motions for you to come closer. So you do. He takes your hand and individually sets each finger onto your pencil like a guitar teacher helping their student find the right chord position.

You’re pleasantly surprised by how gentle his touch is. Rather than forcing your fingers to conform to the conventional ways of an artist, he gives them the little push they need to find their own place along the length of the pencil—wherever is most comfortable for you.

Once you’ve got a good grip, Jungkook guides your pencil back to the canvas with your pinky just barely touching the drawing surface. “Now try drawing the outline of your face again.”

You do as you’re told and see immediate results. Although it’s not a perfect egg, your lines are noticeably smoother as if your skin had just been cleared. Jungkook gives you and your improved egg a thumbs-up, which you return with a thumbs-up of your own.

As you both resume your portraits, you can’t help but wonder if it was the tiny adjustment of how you held your pencil that made the difference. Or if it was Jeon Jungkook himself. You suppose only time will tell.

Several hours later, Jungkook has finished Taehyung’s portrait, you still need to color yours in, and an announcement goes off through the intercom.

“Due to the art auction charity event tonight, this building will be closing in ten minutes. Thank you.”

You groan. This is the worst case scenario for your damn group project. Because if you’re kicked out of the studio, you won’t have access to all of the necessary art supplies.

Unless…?

You exchange glances with the most devoted artist you know.

Jungkook’s apartment is not exactly how you imagined a weeby Snow stan’s habitat to look. There’s not a trace of Snow, nor is there a hint of magic anime girls floating around. But the one thing you did correctly predict is the amount of art scattered across the boy’s room.

Everywhere you look, you’re blown away by something different from the last. A painted city landscape detailed enough to be mistaken for an actual photo, a busy abstract pattern that makes the little wheels in your head spin, the familiar animation booklet of the flower in the snow, and an interesting little doodle that doesn't seem to scream “college art project”.

You try to make sense of what appears to be the chaos that ensues when the worlds of mathematics and music collide. Half of the basic times tables chart is replaced with values represented by music notes. The math nerd in you laughs when you see that a sixteenth note is correctly placed where two quarter notes align. Similarly, the music sheet on the other side of the doodle has a time signature of “75%” aka ¾ time aka the rhythm of a waltz.

“How old were you when you drew this one?” You point to the artwork titled Math Musician written in tiny font at the bottom corner next to the boy’s initials.

Jungkook chuckles, probably out of embarrassment. “I think I was ten.”

“Imagine being a talented artist at age ten. Can’t relate,” you clown yourself as you pull out your unfinished portrait from your art bag. In addition to looking “unfriendly”, your drawn face is rather lifeless and more so demonic for some reason. Hopefully some color will bring more dimension and life back into your flesh.

Just then, you realize you’ve made a fatal mistake.

“Umm, Jungkook?” you continue to stare down at your mistake. “I forgot to factor in your opinion of me into my portrait and now I just look unfriendly like Taehyung said.”

Jungkook tilts his head to get a better look at your monstrosity. His reaction could go one of three ways: he could laugh and give you a hard time about it, he could help you find a solution, or he could do both.

“You definitely nailed the ‘unfriendly’ part,” he snickers. “The RBF is strong with this one.”

“So you agree that I’m unfriendly?” On one hand, that would be good because you won’t have to revise your portrait if Jungkook shares the same opinion as Taehyung. On the other hand, you don’t want Jungkook to have that opinion of you.

“Not necessarily,” he says. “I think if people looked beyond your unfriendly demeanor, they’d find someone very different.”

Before you can ask the boy to elaborate, he has already left and come back with the solution to your problem: fancy coloring markers.

“Since you already drew your appearance based on Taehyung’s opinion, you can color it in based on my opinion, if that makes it easier.” Jungkook hands you an assortment of markers, though a large portion of them are just different shades of one color in particular. Yellow.

Yellow was the last color you were expecting. You expected cooler and darker tones like blues or greys to match your ice queen personality. But yellow? Yellow, to you, has always meant bright and happy.

“Yellow is a happy color, isn’t it?” You start swatching each shade of yellow to see how they translate onto a white canvas. Your favorite shade out of the bunch is the soft pale one called Banana Milk, but that still doesn’t mean it suits you. To prove your point, you hold up your unfriendly demon portrait to your actual face and pout. “Do either of these faces look happy to you, Jungkook?”

“No, but they do look silly.” The boy cracks a smile at your humor. “In a good way.” The way he smiles so brightly plants a dangerous little seed in your head. Maybe the yellow is meant to represent not how he perceives your feelings, but rather, how he perceives his own feelings for you.

By the time evening comes, you’ve shaded in every inch of your canvas, completing your portion of the portrait project. You were right—the bright colors really did help bring life back into your face, and there’s less of a demonic aura about it now.

It also looks like one big contradiction: an unfriendly-looking face with a cheerful brightness around it. But that’s probably what Jungkook was referring to when he said you were very different beneath your unfriendly mask.

As you stretch out your arms and yawn, you peek over at the boy’s progress with his portrait. He stares down at his markers scattered across the floor, pushing his long locks out of his eyes, in search of his next color. From the small portion that he has colored so far, you notice a big difference between his portrait and yours. While your color scheme is bright and flashy like a star, Jungkook’s is soft and subtle to mimic his shy and lowkey personality.

“Use this,” you toss him the Banana Milk marker and pull a scrunchie off your wrist, “and this too.”

Jungkook places the pale yellow marker down right on the area he’ll color next. He doesn’t, however, know what to do with the foreign hair accessory in his palm. He just blinks at it.

With a dramatic sigh, you join the boy on the floor and take back the scrunchie. Like a puppy with long bangs poking its eyes, he lets you comb your fingers through his hair before tying a tiny sprout on top of his head.

“So this is what the world looks like,” he nods, as if his long hair had greatly hindered his view of the world in front of him. At the same time, he spots the finished product of your portrait. “Your self-portrait is a lot different from how I would draw you.”

“I would’ve appreciated a compliment for my hard work, but go ahead and insult me, Jeon.” You square up.

“Oh sorry. You did a phenomenal job, Y/N.” He doesn’t even try to put effort into masking his sarcasm as pity praise. But that’s expected in how he hasn’t missed a single opportunity to tease you and your shitty art. “It’s just interesting how differently others interpret us from how we interpret ourselves.”

Now you’re curious. “How would you draw me then?”

“You want to see?” Jungkook pushes his own portrait aside and starts digging around for a sketchbook with a blank page to spare. What possesses him to prioritize a drawing of you before his own portrait that’s due in less than 24 hours? You won’t allow that.

“I want to see it after our project is finished, please,” you pull his unfinished portrait back in front of him before making yourself comfy on the boy’s bed. “In the meantime, I’ll be reading you-know-what.”

“Smut?” The boy has a dirty mind, it seems.

“Unless Witch Hazel plans on getting a little smutty, no, I will not be reading smut.” With a hmph, you scroll through jk.seagull’s blog. “I wonder if the new chapter is posted yet.”

Jungkook, too, picks up his phone with wide eyes when he hears you say “new chapter”. Your hype and excitement around the fanfic must be rubbing off on him.

But unfortunately for you, there is no new post since the one you saw before class. You make a sad booboo face, but it isn’t the end of the world either. You’ll just have to reread the series from the beginning as you wait for either Witch Hazel to be updated or Jungkook to finish the project. Whichever happens first.

“Wait, I think the seagull guy just posted something.”

You’ve never jumped onto your phone so quick when Jungkook mentions the seagull guy. It isn’t a new chapter of Witch Hazel, but instead another small text post.

“sorry for not updating witch hazel today like i said i would!! i was bombarded with an unexpected art assignment;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;”

Your sad booboo face disappears. It seems you’re not the only one struggling to find balance between the arts and the need to satisfy others. “Isn’t it funny that he’s an art student too?”

“Haha, yeah…” Jungkook’s voice fades as he returns to his portrait.

“Maybe that’s why I like his work so much,” you say, clicking back to the very first chapter of Witch Hazel where Snow is helping out those who she had unintentionally scared away with her witchcraft. “He just gets it.”

“He gets what?”

With the biggest yawn, you shrug because you don’t really know how to put it into words. It just feels as though you and him think alike. And the thought of that is comforting enough to put you to rest until Jungkook finishes up the project.

“Y/N.” You hear things shuffling around in your half-asleep state. When you rise from mysterious pile of blankets on top of you, you see Jungkook putting his art supplies away and clearing space on the floor for him to camp out since you’ve apparently claimed his bed.

“Did you finish?” You check the time in the dimly lit room, and you’re shocked to see it’s past midnight.

“Yeah.” He pulls your scrunchie out of his hair and drops it into your palm. “Thank you for your service.”

“Keep it.” You slide the hair tie onto the boy’s wrist when you notice he looks a little different somehow. The hoodie he was wearing earlier is replaced with a plain white tee, and his torn jeans have become grey sweatpants. The unspoken reality of you stay over at the boy’s apartment is slowly becoming realized. “In exchange, I’d like to see how you’d draw me.”

“Already done,” he says, jogging to his desk and back to you with a page from his sketchbook in hand. “I drew you as a superhero.”

“What kind of superhero?” You kick the blankets off of you and reach for the drawing, but of fucking course, Jungkook pulls it back real quick just when you were about to snatch it. “Let me see!”

He keeps it hidden behind his back for a while until he gets a little too cocky and dangles it above where you’re sitting on the bed. It would be too predictable for you to reach for the hand with drawing in it, so you decide to aim for the other arm to trap him in.

But rather than latching onto his arm, you catch only a piece of the scrunchie around his wrist, causing you both to lose balance. Your back hits the soft bedding as you stare up into the eyes of the boy who just so happened to land on top of you. Aha, you finally figure out why he looked a little different after you woke up. No glasses, just his handsome brown eyes.

You’d give yourself a pat on the back for figuring that out if you weren’t distracted by the drawing of you as a “superhero”. You were expecting something tough like the Avengers or Sailor Moon or even Izuku Midoriya. But instead you see someone who looks very much like yourself with a guitar and yellow flower crown.

“That’s not a superhero,” you say quietly.

“There are people who would feel otherwise.” Jungkook plops down next to you on his stomach.

“Like who?”

“Like people you share your music with.”

You bite your lip before rolling off the bed to run and get something. When you hop back onto the bed, you drop a pencil into Jungkook’s hand make him hold it with his pinky out like he had shown you earlier. You do the same with another pencil and link your pinky to his once more.

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.”

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts imagines #jungkook x reader #btsboulangerie #jungkook fanfic #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook #bts #bangtan #witch hazel

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stevenuniversetanzanite · 5 years ago

Text

Fallen Angel (Venable X reader) Part 2

I mentioned this extending over multiple characters. I assume most people read for all her ahs characters, so I don’t think how I am going this will be a problem.

I have two/three chapters written for the prequel (which is with Cordelia) which will go with this collection, I guess it would be called. If you want me to post the first two of that I probably could, the only problem is it will explain the reader’s deal. So if anyone wants it I could post it otherwise, it will wait.

Summary/idea: Two strangers come to ‘save’ the occupants of outpost 3. Neither are what they seem.

Warnings: N/A

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4, Part 5 (Will add as I go)

Ms Venable couldn't wrap her head around the pure insanity of the new girl. She was completely bonkers in every single way, she shouldn't trust a word that left your mouth. You were the only one who knew Michael before he arrived at the outpost if anyone knew his true intentions it would be his business partner. Whether your words were valuable, well that would only show with time. If she took everything you said with a grain of salt then what's the harm in hearing you out. I mean, how can she trust a girl who forgot she ate someone else's meal? Or, claims she hadn't eaten since '92? She didn't even look old enough to be born then.

She kept an eye on the girl, to see if she could trust her. Her incessant flirting painted her to be a bit of a harlot. She was used to presumptuousness from working with Jeff and Mutt- always looking down upon them and their perverted lifestyle with a string of hookers attached. This was different, maybe because the attention was towards her? Y/N didn't look like a streetwalker, the formal attire suited her well actually, something Venable would never admit aloud.

She didn't mind the girl's intentions. She was even flattered. No one had ever shown interest in her, not even in her younger days. She had always been a woman of action, always needed to get something done. Someone would hold her back. Also, her incessant complaining that the men are the scum of the earth tended to draw that sex away, not that she minded, they never appealed to her anyway.

You were careful but still managed to have a filterless go about communicating. You took what you deemed was yours (mainly other peoples food or drinks) and no one complained. You had power over them, one word from you (if even) and their shot at making it to the sanctuary would be torn away from them. Even with this knowledge, they made an effort to get to know you, possibly for their own benefit. You put more work into knowing the residents than Venable had in all the time she'd been running it.

"Ms Venable requested your presence," A grey informed you mid-conversation with a few of the men in the outpost.

"Duty calls boys, good luck on your interviews," you wished them luck before turning attention to the grey. "Keep me company?" The grey nodded their head once knowing whether or not they wanted to; they had orders to obey all in a higher rank eg you.

You made small talk with the grey, finding out what they did the world ended. They asked back and you responded honestly, telling them about your schooling. "But I guess they're all dead now. Oh well, we all can't be lucky." The conversation took a dark spin, bumming the person who didn't want to be there. "I wish you the best of luck during your interview and I'm sorry about the loss of your husband and kids." As soon as the door is shut, you uttered out, "They aren't going to make the cut."

"Good evening Ms L/N," Venable said.

"It's evening? I only woke up an hour ago."

"I assumed you didn't want to be a part of our… customs."

"I don't if it means I have to wake up before it's dark- wait, it's always dark here, nevermind." You noticed the bottle of red on her desk and the two glasses. "Ah yes, you got the red." You ran over to her desk and cracked it open, pouring yourself a glass. "That's the shit. Better than the last wine I had. You can call me Y/N by the way. I have a feeling we'll be getting to know each other very well."

"This is strictly business Ms L/N, I would like to get in with it."

"The fact that you have to say it's business suggests to me it's not- at least not entirely," you smirked. "But I'll play your games."

"Do you ever stop-"

"Stop what?"

"If you let me finish then you would have found out-"

"No." Venable was losing her temper. "The answer to your question is no. I don't flirt with everyone I meet, I’m not a whore. Ask anyone here if I have ever flirted with them." You took a sip of your wine. You knew exactly what she was going to ask. People's minds weren't as perplexing as their behaviours. "Did you want me to pour you a glass? I assumed you were capable of doing it yourself but some people like sentiment."

This was all your game. It had to be. Venable wanted no part of you, she was fine on her own. She couldn't even call this an alliance, it was a one time thing to get information from you. If she had to play by your terms then so be it.

"You said you had intel on Mr Langdon."

"Mister, more like master, he's barely 12. Why do you people call young boys master anyway that's kinda fucked up. Is that an old-timey thing?"

"You're not making any sense."

"Nothing about that man does." You chuckled like what you said was an inside joke. " How much do you know about the Cooperative?"

"As much as they needed to tell me to be able to do my job."

"Which is?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know what you do but I want to know in your words."

"I am the keeper of order, looking after humans' last survivors."

"Look after, I take it loosely. Killing doesn't usually fall under that category."

You knew that she’d been killing off the survivors for their disobedience? She didn't gather you to be the observant type after that display on your first day.

"Killing was necessary to keep order-"

"And I'm not complaining, it's remarkable how you manage to use their own fear against the lingering." Lingering? That would imply that they are on their last threads, not supposed to stick around much longer.

"And what do you see my job being?"

"Oh, I can't tell you that. Self-awareness will ruin everything. It's like that unspoken agreement between a magician and their audience, if you are aware of the magic then it ruins the allusion. Also, I can't tell you directly, it will ruin my reputation-"

"You have a good reputation? Among the Cooperative?"

"God no, the Cooperative isn't important. Why be loyal to the dead?"

“Then to whom?”

“If you stick around long enough, you’ll find out yourself,” You said vaguely. "I'll tell ya one thing about that man. He has said it himself, in other words, he doesn't give a crap about anyone else unless you are faithless on his side, he can't give a rat's ass about any of you."

"On his side or on our knees praising him? I know his kind. Men."

"If you don't side with him, you won't survive the year. You have very few options V." You said. You rose your glass, "Thanks for the wine." You vanished before Venable could stop you.

The days went on. More people were getting interviewed for the selection process. Others, such as Coco, nagged you on how well they did. You would always shrug and tell them the interviews weren't your job, as everyone had been told at the introduction. You already knew no one thus far had made the cut but why rip their hope from right under them. While they still think they have a shot, they are easily manipulative.

It was an hour before curfew for the residents. You tended to spend the night’s hours in Michael’s office re-reading over the occupants' files, drawing or sitting by the fire. You were catching up with Michael when Ms Venable interrupted.

“Ms Venable,” Langdon said in his drawn-out monotone voice.

“Mr Langdon. Ms L/N.”

“V.”

“Excellent timing. I was meaning to speak to you.”

“You were?”

“You’ve violated the rules set up by the cooperative, instead implementing your own.”

Langdon went on about Venable's transgressions against proper protocol. Wilhemina insisted that she was given classified instructions which made you laugh. You had heard the rules too many times when they were being made to not have memorized them. Michael may have taken a more backseat approach to all of this but you kept a closer eye on all of this, mainly not trusting the two cokeheads organising this whole shebang and you were right to, the place has been infiltrated.

Langdon told the story of the woman and child you stumbled across when heading over. A mother with her two children, one child sick, the other, a baby, dead in her arms. She begged for mercy but neither showed mercy. Venable was taken by the story and republished by what you two did or didn’t do. Venable insisted that none of her charges are worthy to move on to the Sanctuary aside from Dinah, whom she admitted she knows little of.

“At this rate, it sounds like we will have the sanctuary all to ourselves,” Langdon said. He stood up from his desk walking over to the woman standing in the centre of the room, in front of the fireplace. “There’s no need for us to be adversaries, Ms Venable.” He stood in her personal space, she was forced to look slightly upwards towards the taller man. You swivel your chair around to watch on. “Take off your dress.”

Both women choked. What did he just say to her?

“I will not.” She was as shocked as you. She laughs uncomfortably, stiffening slightly.

She glanced from the man before her to you, trying to piece together if this suggestion was in some way your doing. With all the suggestive comments you make in passing towards her, she wouldn’t doubt it.

You propped yourself on the edge of your seat. “Michael, what are you-” In the month you had been there Wilhemina had never heard you call him by his first name. You always insisted on calling people by nicknames rather than their given names, all the outpost members had at least one, ones you talk to more frequently have multiple.

“A part of your cooperation includes a physical examination.” Only after he spoke did he acknowledge you. A look telling you to back down was enough for you to piece it together. No one gets special treatment, she had to follow all the same rules as everyone else to see how far she would go and with that, must go through their tests of will.

You eased back in your chair, sitting the most proper you have in years. You turned your attention away, picking up a pen from the man’s desk and playing with its clicker.

“You can read my file,” she spoke with a quiver in her voice. You winced at the sound of her broken voice. Someone who presented themselves so strongly, shouldn’t be allowed to be seen as weak.

“Your file won’t show me what I need to see. Your shame.” He circled Venable, his hand running from her shoulder to her back. “I want to see the part of you that humiliated you the most.” Venable stopped before it reached her spine. “You won’t get a second chance.”

You leapt up from your chair, snapping the two out of their own world, “I’ll do it- I’ll to the examination.”

“Y/N-”

You made your way over to the two, “I was a nurse back in the day- well nun but let's not go into that.” You move Michael’s hand off her back.

“I was capable of examining the other-” You knew he didn’t do anything to them. He wasn’t going to do much to her other than look at her back, bring her down a level in the process.

“I’m more qualified to do this and if you are supposed to be doing a physical examination wouldn’t you prefer a medical professional to do it. Unless you have some ulterior motive.”

He eased back knowing that if by bringing up the idea of an ulterior motive if he insisted on doing it, it would appear that way.

“You’re turning weak Y/N,” Michael whispered in your ear as he passed you on the way to his desk. “Just like how I found you.”

You had to stop yourself from snapping back at him. You were weak… human. A part of that still lingers in you, begging for more attention. You shoved it back down but it kept reemerging with these reckless feelings. You thought if you found something to stimulate your old life, maybe it would go away. Your needs were different now but you still needed commitment. Someone to worship the ground you walked on, maybe even do the same back.

Michael made it to his desk, he told you to hurry along with it. You stared at her face, the close proximity becoming uncomfortable. You apologised before circling her. You would make this as quick as possible for her while still not hurting her. You zipped down her dress revealing her ‘shame’ as Michael called it. You ran your cold hands down the curvature of her spine asking if it hurt. She shook her head, not being able to speak due to the overwhelming emotion she was going through. You zipped her back up before announcing you were done. Her hand slipped back on her shoulder checking if you were telling the truth, her hand meeting yours. Her hand faltered at the contact but reached out for yours holding it briefly. You were the one to pull away, you two weren’t the only ones in the room.

“Did I pass?” She pulled all the strength she could to ask the question.

Michael looked towards you, annoyed. “Ask Y/n, she seems to think she’s in charge of this now.”

Wilhemina looked towards you. She was confused between the sudden switch of both of yours dynamic.

“You will find out in due time. Like the others.” You don’t look at her as you made your way back to your spot in front of the desk. “I would like to continue the meeting we were having before you interrupted.” You glared daggers at the man before you.

She repulsed you, Venable thought. You refused to look at her after you saw her back. The one person who actively sort her out was turned away by her- She wasn’t to sob but held it in. She had to make it back to her room, her sanctuary.

“What did you think you were doing?” Michael asked you when the woman left.

“You said I could have one person of my choice in favour of my service to your cause.”

“I shouldn’t even have to do that, you should be faithful to me because-”

“You are not your father, I could give two shits about you and your little plan for the earth.” You snapped. “He could have done it himself, instead of sending his spawn to do it. Don’t even get me started on his procession attempts- I don’t know what his plan was with that.” You stood up leaning all your weight on his desk. He looked up to you with that stupid little smug expression he gave the others. He thought he was above you, typical antichrist behaviour. “I swear he could have come up with a better way to do that or better yet, figured out a way to appear human among. Everyone else can do it if he’s so powerful why can’t he? Don’t look at me like you're above me, you may be tough stuff but you're still human. You can still go to hell. It’s not as nice as you might think if daddy dearest wants out too.” You went to leave. “You refused me to have my first course as it would screw up your plan, I understood that. But you aren’t stopping this time.”

“The woman is incapable of love. Even if you get her to like you, she won’t stay long. There’s a reason angels and demons don’t date.”

“Like you know shit, your a child and barely de-”

You were flung against the wall being held by Michael’s power. You felt a pressure around your neck choking you. You gasped for air but nothing was coming in.

“You might be more human than you thought Y/N.” He cut his magic off, gravity kicked in and you fell to the ground in a crumpled mess. He walked over to your body kneeling down and leading over your body which was backed up against the door. “Know where your place is. Either as my equal or as my enemy.” He stood. “And if you choose enemy, you’ll be dead with those witches you hung out with.” You chuckled knowing better than him. Yeah, dead.

“What must I do- to get rid of the- humanity?” The word humanity felt wrong.

“Kill what it wants. Kill Venable.”

Link to next chapter

#venable x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #wilhelmina venable x reader

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