#anyway. fucking explodes and dies forever

[lavendorii]

it's very late but I'm getting very emotional about the "statue at the lake" excerpt from the lost library and the reveal of how it went in the duet . something about sunny falling into the lake and the final line of "[sunny] shuts his eyes... and waits for the brothers to save him." when in reality it was mari that ran to the dock and hurled herself into the lake to save her little brother. I'm in shambles

[lotus-pear]

learning to love

[slutdge]

typical 7 am judas moment where im sobbing over what i could have been and accomplished if my parents had loved me :)

[aajjks]

Irreplaceable. (m)

synopsis. He was irreplaceable. You should’ve known that.

warnings. YÄNDÊRÊ CÖNTĚNT, mêntïöns öf kïdnäppïng, ëxtrëmë pösëssïvěnẽss, tǒxïc!göjö, nöncön kïss, prǒfanïty.

note. JJK fans this one’s for you. SEND ASKS AND PLEASE SHARE FEEDBACK ENJOY!

Gojo Saturo, cannot stand you moving on from him.

It makes him want to kill everyone that’s around him, it makes his head fucking explode, he didn’t want to break up

He didn’t want to be away from you, he didn’t want to lose you, but yet he did. He lost you. It was really his fault.

But how could you?

How could you even try to replace him?

Are you that stupid? He understood what a break meant, he was willing to give you a break, he was willing to work on himself. He was willing to do everything, but yet you had to ruin it all.

This was your doing

This wasn’t his fault. You made him do this.

You knew what kind of a man he was, Saturo was a jealous man, extremely possessive and territorial. Did you want to test his patience or were you just trying to make him suffer?

It did work though.

But he wasn’t the only one that suffered the consequences.

It was your current boyfriend too.

What a weak little man, he didn’t even come close to Gojo, your ex didn’t know that you had such bad taste in men. Looking at him almost made. Saturo laugh his ass off.

What a downgrade.

It was really easy though, Saturo didn’t even had to try hard to get rid of him, permanently.

And now he was gone.

And now Gojo is sitting here, hawking at you like a creep, well, you sleep peacefully in his bed, yeah, he kidnapped you.

He was an impulsive man. That was one of his many toxic traits.

He did whatever the fuck he wanted.

And also,

You look so pretty and peaceful like this just like the old times, he could look at you forever. Oh, how much he loves you.

Gojo leans in closer to your face and stares at your face, you look so cute. He wants to kiss you. His gaze travels to your lips and he sighs, his mouth is literally foaming.

He missed you way too much.

Gojo is so impatient, but he’s trying his best to not lose his control, he presses his lips, gently to yours and steals a peck.

“My princess…” he mumbles to himself, just then you start moving, maybe the spell is wearing off, thank God because you’ve been unconscious for a full day.

He was almost starting to get concerned

“hey Baby.” he smiles brightly as he watches you open your eyes, moving your body, so cutely- he finds everything you do, cute.

“W-What the fuck?” that’s the first thing you say, Gojo doesn’t stop smiling, his lips curl up even more, “yes you’re here in my home- no our home baby.” he quickly corrects himself.

“SATURO- WHAT THE FUCK?!” he watches you wince in pain, maybe the spell was too strong, he should’ve been more careful, but he was impatient.

“Shh.. you’re OK you’re safe..” this time he doesn’t even resist the urge to touch your skin, he caresses your forehead with his hands, your forehead is burning.

You have a fever, his smile dies down quick.

“you are burning YN…” should’ve been more careful, you are only a fragile human. Gojo feels guilt bubble up in his chest.

He doesn’t care about the clear panic in your face, you try to slap his hand away, but he doesn’t budge. “baby don’t try to do this right now..” he whispers.

“we’ll talk about this later. We have a lot to talk about anyways.”

“are you fucking insane? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” he holds you down when you try to get up. Saturo rolls his eyes at your struggle.

He’s clearly getting pissed off.

“shut up YN. Yes I’m fucking insane because you tried to replace me. I’m going fucking insane. And that boyfriend of yours is dead… probably.”

Gojo doesn’t even get up from the seat, he glares at you, burning holes into your skin with his gaze.

“I’m fucking fuming. How could you, I was willing to give you space and that’s what you did to me? Immediately tried to replace me with that fucking loser?” he scoffs, and chuckles.

You open your mouth to argue, but he shuts you up, by holding his finger up on your lips, “like I said, shut the fuck up. You know what something I hate and love about you?”

Gojo clicks his tongue, looking at you with this cold blue eyes.

“I love and hate your fucking smart little mouth.”

Gojo caresses your cheek, his finger is feel so so hot on your skin, so soft under his touch.

“Too bad that I missed this pretty little mouth is so much..”

“I missed you way too much to argue like this. And just so you know, I do not regret kidnapping you. And I do not regret doing what I did to your boyfriend.”

You immediately start crying, crying for him to let you go, but he doesn’t listen.

“Stop fucking crying like a baby, now lay down and let me take care of you, come on be a good girl.” he scolds you.

He knows he’s so selfish and cold.

But he doesn’t give a fuck.

“you should’ve known that I was irreplaceable yn, I might’ve given you more time, but you had to do this, now you fucking pissed me off. Too bad that I love you so much though to punish you.”

[sicksorrows]

i need this man so badly no man will ever compare to this beautiful specimen. if nanami didnt exist—i dont exist. i am so thankful for gege making this beautiful man. no one is better than him. the glowup he got is so sexy imagine dating him from the start and seeing him grow up to be THAT FINE ASS MAN. oh my god the unspeakable things id do to him im literally going feral even seeing these pictures. idgaf how boring he was, boring men are so fine. I wish I was nanamis friend, bff, gf, wife, soulmate, all of the above. I NEED HIS DICK INSIDE MY MOUTH RIGHT NOWWAGHHHHH. if we lived tg and he came home tired and the first thing he asks for is coffee id give it to him no hesitation, id also give head on the way. I want this dude inside me where at this point, we're molded together to create a new species that never existed before. in my next lifetime I want to see nanami. I will watch jjk and see that man and know he is the best character out there. there may be a few characters who come close to him but no one will ever, ever beat him (except mahito, but that doesn't count.) he can do anything to me and id literally thank him. if gege makes more animations of jjk, id want to see this man living his life in malaysia. every single thing in the world is a nanami reference. ties? nanami (that reminds me I want him to blindfold me with his tie and fuck me so good I collapse in his arms (I also want to get him pregnant, but anyway)) blazer? nanami. blond hair? nanami. bread? nanami. literally anything? nanami. I originally was watching this show for Gojo and knew nothing about nanami but when he popped up on the screen I literally exploded everywhere. when I was watching season 2, I knew he was gonna die. the second I was on season 2 episode 18 10:24 I almost ended my life. I hate you mahito. I will never get why he had to die. WHY COULDNT HE BE A VILLAIN AND STAY IN THE SHOW FOREVER. IM GONNA CRY. NANAMI IS THE BEST CHARACTER EVER. when I get money im gonna make the biggest shrine for him to the point my house will be nanami shaped and have nanami all over it. I need a man who IS nanami, not like nanami, IS nanami. he is genuinely the best thing to ever exist in this planet earth and in this generation and im so glad I was alive when he died. ilovenanami.

[yandereorg]

The tortured poets department

Yandere writing prompts inspired by The Tortured Poets Department, some songs I didn’t do out of it being repetitive or i just couldn’t make it work.

Feel free to request any and add your own input, I got very tired towards the end<3

Fortnight-

Imagining a past future with a brief lover, full of the sweetest delusions fueling the foulest jealousies

Quotes “And for a fortnight there, we were forever”, “I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary”, “Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her” and “And I love you, it's ruining my life”

The Tortured Poets Department

Reading too much into them, obsessed even though they’re hurting themselves and you, wanting so desperately to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved

Quotes “I chose this cyclone with you”, “Who else decodes you?”, “But you're in self-sabotage mode, Throwing spikes down on the road”,and At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger, And put it on the one people put wedding rings on, And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding”

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

(Original & final lyrics)

Finally leaving only to be drawn back in, you’re their favourite after all

Quotes, “He was my best friend and that was the worst part.", “I felt more then, in brief moments, Than with all the Kens”, “I'm queen of the kingdoms he destroys, oh, oh”, and “The voices in his head, Ring out louder than our midnight sighs”

Down Bad

The character picking up the pieces after you ruin them, they won’t let you leave them safe and stranded

Quotes, “So fuck you if I can't have us”, “wakin' up in blood”, “For a moment, I was heavenstruck”, “How dare you think it's romantic, Leaving me safe and stranded”

So Long, London

A lover so lost in their melancholy they virtually forget about you, or do they?

Quotes, “And you say I abandoned the ship, But I was going down with it”, “I died on the altar waiting for the proof, You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”, “I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place”, and “Stitches undone, Two graves, one gun”

But Daddy I Love Him

When everyone says no you just want it more, a love that’s fast, so bright it’s blinding and based in tragedy you just can’t see it yet.

Quotes, “I'm telling him to floor it through the fences, No, I'm not coming to my senses, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want”, “He was chaos, he was revelry, Bedroom eyes like a remedy”, “The saboteurs protested too much”’ and “It's mine alone to disgrace”

Fresh Out the Slammer

Pretty baby their running home to you, a past causal flame returns looking for sunshine, you’re own addicted brand of sunshine.

Quotes, “Camera flashes, welcome bashes”, “As I said in my letters, now that I know better, I will never lose my baby again”, “children's swings, Wearing imaginary rings” and “And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway”

Florida!!!

You take yourself everywhere you go, and somebody else. Is that why your problems seem inescapable?

Quotes, “And this city reeks of driving myself crazy”, “The hurricane with my name”, and “Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable”

Guilty as Sin?

Love potions, so desperate for attention you’ll fall into the arms of whoever’s nearby

Quotes, “What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh, Only in my mind?”, “fatal fantasies” and “How I long for our trysts, Without ever touching his skin”

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Betting on their feelings might just be the end of your life, well end of a free one anyway

Quotes, “At all costs, keep your good name”, “I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean,” “That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong” and “I am what I am 'cause you trained me”

imgonnagetyouback

They know you can’t resist, they made sure of it

Quotes, You knew the price goin' in, “hear the whispers in your eyes”, “You'll find that you were never not mine”, “Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you”, and “Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way”

The Albatross

You misread the signs and the messages, fate was trying to correct course but you just kept fighting.

Quotes, “Shooting the messengers”, “One bad seed kills the garden”, “But I'd visit in your dreams” and “The devil that you know, Looks now more like an angel”

[tumb1rprincess]

Oh boy, episode 159. This was another one I had heard snippets of while first checking out the fandom, so I was excited for this one. And boy, did it deliver.

Jon’s voice in this episode, dear God. There are just so many lines where he’s practically snarling the words like a predator. I remember commenting a while back that he’s a minnow among sharks, but that’s certainly not the case anymore. He’s one of the sharks now. But then his voice gets so soft when he’s talking to Martin. That little “I thought you might be lost” just melted my heart. He’s been hardened from everything he’s been through, but with Martin, he’s so soft and gentle, agh, it just kills me. Also, that line about being lost reminded me of episode 13, when Naomi’s pastor expressed the same thing about her. Being lonely, being depressed, it is like being lost. You’re trapped in this mental fog or a horrible pain that feels like it’s going to last forever.

And Martin, Martin, baby, god, I saw so much of myself in what he was saying. The Lonely being a metaphor for depression is in full force this episode. Like, him just believing that being alone is really what’s best for him and everyone else, how many of us have thought that? And the Lonely this time around isn’t this crushing weight that makes you so sad that your chest aches, although it certainly has been in the past. Here, it just makes you numb, and depression has made me feel that way a lot.

Jon just listing off his friends who have died or left him, ugh, that was a punch to the gut. It just reminds you of how much he’s gone through and you can feel the Lonely drawing him in for a moment. And Lukas, the bastard, his voice is surprisingly soft and quiet during this bit, like he’s luring you in.

So I guess there is a bit of tragedy with Lukas. Like, he was pretty much raised from the get-go to be part of the Lonely, he didn’t have much of a choice. But hearing him describe that apartment complex and how every little detail and every vulnerable person chosen was to make it as lonely as possible, that had me seething. It all just felt horribly cruel.

Literally went “GET FUCKED PETER LUKAS!” when he…exploded I guess? Is that what happens to people now if they resist answering Jon’s questions for too long? They just explode? I don’t know, it’s what it sounded like. And we still don’t know what Elias won with this wager. That worries me a little.

The last part, oh the last part. Jon admitting that being alone is probably safer, but he still tells Martin he needs him anyway, cause he still loves and cares for him so much. And just how quick Martin was to reply “No you don’t.” Like, OUCH. Martin has probably never had anyone tell him that in his life. And how many of us have thought that during our low moments? Or how many times have we had people tell us that, but we can’t bring ourselves to believe them? And then Jon saying “I don’t just want to survive!” made me think of that infamous line from Wall-E “I don’t want to survive. I want to live.” Like, Jon is pretty much saying “I want to live my life and I want to live it with you.” And then we get the most tender lines ever with “Look at me and tell me what you see” and “I see you, John.” I was like

It’s not even an “I love you” it’s an “I see you” but it still holds so much weight. Jon is feeling like a monster, Martin is alone in the world, but they still see each other and love each other and that’s what brings Martin back. Because when we’re feeling depressed and alone, isn’t that what we want the most? Just for someone to say “I see you, I know you exist, you haven’t been forgotten.” I remember seeing fanart and animations of this moment everywhere when I was poking around the fandom and I can see why. Top tier JonMartin moment.

[sugarsnappeases]

what’s that i hear you say ? ‘oh kara, will you please ramble to me about rodolphus lestrange' ?

well... i suppose i could.... if you insist...

to me, rodolphus is outwardly just your run-of-the-mill pureblood heir. he's the spitting image of his father, he's been raised to replace him and ultimately he’ll do it without complaining bc it's his Right. he's the lestrange heir and everything that entails in terms of like. authority and capability and stoicism and just generally having power and wielding it comfortably (and also being a raging blood supremacist xoxo)

and to me the lestranges are very Normal in terms of pureblood aristocracy (and oh i could go into rabastan too, he's the classic like no-responsibilities spare to me, in an ideal world he'd be on one endless Grand Tour, gadding about europe all byronesque, quaffing wine from skulls and swimming nude in the venetian canals. but these are thoughts for another day), like they don’t really have so much of that beautiful inherent crazy that there is in the blacks, or the rosiers or carrows for example.

but that doesn’t mean that he’s not a deeply unpleasant individual, to me he’s very like. surly. like he can do the whole polite charming high society act, maintaining alliances or whatever, but the majority of the time he spends at balls and galas and things is just brooding over a glass of firewhiskey. and he’s like tall, well-built, imposing, and probs glowering into the middle distance so he’s really not very approachable

he’s smart. he’s a skilled duellist. he takes himself very seriously. his involvement with the dark arts is a mixture of family expectation, academic interest, and the desire for some kind of outlet. bc i think also he’s very angry a lot of the time - angry about his responsibilities, and having to interact w the other purebloods, and at his brother, and at his wife (and i could talk forever about bella & rodo’s relationship i’ve been buzzing with thoughts about them recently) and he’s never once dealt w any emotion in a healthy way, he’s very careful about always being imperturbable in public, so he channels those like. violent thoughts into, initially, testing out curses on animals and things, and then, when he joins the death eaters (and also probs even before that), on the people that he views as animals (muggleborns. and i hope it’s clear that this isn’t a view i endorse i just like exploring his character)

when you stiff upper lip so hard that you have to join a terrorist organisation just so you don’t explode from pent-up rage….. happens to the best of us……. anyway i reckon he’s one of the earlier people to join the death eaters, once tom came back to england, bc he’s very convinced of his superiority over muggleborns and he’s got the skills, the social standing, and the violent urges to make tom want him on board. i think that he joined before bella did even and she then joined through him but that’s a different can of worms.

he’s up there w the most loyal and the most trusted death eaters bc he takes it almost as seriously as he takes his role as heir. he’s powerful and he’s ambitious and he’s really fucking angry. he’s got an intense competitive nemesis situation going on with antonin dolohov (they also fuck. i have a lot to say about them. i’ve been concocting lore recently). he doesn’t denounce the dark lord after halloween 1981, he spends the rest of his life in and out of azkaban, consumed by The Cause.

he can never complete his duty as the lord lestrange. like i think his dad died fairly young so rod is the lord for a solid ten/fifteen years before his first arrest but even then, he and bella don’t have kids, there’s no lestrange heir, and he never even succeeds in getting rabastan to marry someone. he doesn’t secure the family legacy, him and his brother are the last of their line, he’s essentially failed in the task that he was born and raised to fulfil, but by that point he’s resigned himself to it. i think he flounders a little after his first escape from azkaban when he obvs can’t really publicly be an aristocrat anymore, bc he’s lost the central purpose of his life, but then he just doubles back down on his little killing torturing bigotry side hustle.

he’s loyal to the dark lord even after his death (both deaths) to the extent of going to azkaban for him (three times) bc he’s leaned into that outlet, that release for his anger (which by that point would’ve changed targets somewhat), so much that it’s become the core of his existence. he is. i feel. a bit of a poster boy for the death eaters. and i think he’s neat.

bosh. thank you for your time 🙏

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift (Part I)

FORTNIGHT

I was supposed to be sent away.

They forgot to come and get me.

I was a functioning alcoholic.

Nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

All of this to say, I hope you're okay.

No one here's to blame.

What about your quiet treason?

For a fortnight there we were forever running.

You're in my backyard turned into good neighbors.

I want to kill her.

All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February.

The effects were temporary.

I love you, it's ruining my life.

I touched you for only a fortnight.

My husband is cheating.

I want to kill him.

I call you up but you won't pick up.

Another fortnight lost in America.

Buy the car you want.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

You left your typewriter at my apartment.

Who uses typewriters anyway?

You're in self-sabotage mode.

Who else decodes you?

Who's gonna hold you like me?

Who's gonna know you if not me?

We'rе modern idiots.

You smokеd then ate seven bars of chocolate.

I chose this cyclone with you.

Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.

Because we're crazy.

That's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVORITE TOYS

Here we go again.

You should've seen him when he first got me.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys.

I should've known it was a matter of time.

There was a litany of reasons why we could've playеd for keeps this time.

I know I'm just repeating mysеlf.

He runs because he loves me.

'Cause you should've seen him when he first saw me

I knew too much.

There was danger in the heat of my touch.

He saw forever so he smashed it up.

Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me

He was my best friend.

I felt more when we played pretend.

He took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart

Told me I'm better off, but I'm not.

DOWN BAD

Did you really beam me up?

Tell me I was the chosen one.

For a moment I knew cosmic love.

Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym.

Everything comes out teenage petulance.

Fuck it if I can't have him

I might just die, it would make no difference.

Come back and pick me up.

Fuck it if I can't have us.

I might just not get up.

I might stay down bad.

Did you take all my old clothes?

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you.

For a moment, I was heavenstruck.

I loved your hostile take-overs.

I'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.

How dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded?

Cause fuck it, I was in love.

Fuck you if I can't have us.

SO LONG, LONDON

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

My spine split from carrying us up the hill.

I stopped trying to make him laugh.

How much sad did you think I had?

Did you think I had in me?

You'll find someone.

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out..

I founded the club she's heard great things about.

I left all I knew.

I stopped CPR.

Thе spirit was gone.

We would never come to.

I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

Two graves, one gun.

I'll find someone.

You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.

My white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment.

My friends said it isn't right to be scared.

Every breath feels like rarest air.

Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self implode?

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof.

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

I'm just getting color back into my face.

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place for.

But I'm not the one

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

I forget how the west was won.

I forget if this was ever fun.

I just learned these people only raise you to cage you.

What a mess.

I just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.

Too high a horse for a simple girl to rise above it.

They slammed the door on my whole world.

But, daddy, I love him.

I'm having his baby.

No, I'm not, but you should see your faces

No, I'm not coming to my senses.

I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want.

Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

You're this chaos, he was revelry.

Stay away from her.

Lord knows the words we never heard.

I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.

I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, it's mine along with all the disgrace.

God save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see.

You ain't gotta pray for me.

It's just my choice.

There's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles.

Scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer.

We came back when the heat died down.

Went to my parents and they came around.

All the wine moms are still holding out.

Fuck 'em, it's over.

Even my daddy just loves him.

I'm his lady.

Oh my god, you should see your faces.

I know it's crazy but he's the one I love.

FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER

I'm running back home to you.

I know who my first call will be to.

He don't understand me.

Handcuffed to the spell I was under.

But it's gonna be alright.

I did my time.

Toss the ashes off the ledge.

I will never lose my baby again.

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it.

Watched me daily disappearing for just one glimpse of his smile.

All those nights you kept me goin'.

Swirled you into all of my poems.

Now we're at the starting line.

No matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up, now that I know what's at stake here.

FLORIDA!!!

You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too.

They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true.

My friends all smell like weed or little babies.

The city reeks of driving myself crazy.

Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

Can I use you up?

I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.

Well, mе and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

Yеs, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine.

Well, no one asks any questions here.

So I did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.

Is that a bad thing to say in a song?

I need to forget.

I've got some regrets.

Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida

I need to forget, so take me to Florida

What a crash, what a rush.

It's one hell of a drug

Love left me like this.

I don't want to exist.

[dallasgallant]

Ok died Gallant always gets me (as if you couldn’t tell from my URL) but

What the fuck.

Anyways. How Steve runs with everyone else despite 3 broken ribs, the movie details of soda forgetting his shoes, Steve putting his arms up and now this line?!

I’m going to go explode forever. Goodbye

[lakesbian]

i think cherie has a weird psychological fixation on alec. btw. for reasons such as

cheries Deal is about being powerful and scary and manipulative so she can be the one who hurts others instead of the one who gets hurt due to shes fundamentally alienated from connection w/ herself and others and has no other way to cope with existing without feeling like dirt

also her powers are abt being stuck in this miserable cramped home w a bunch of other miserable violent people and having to learn how to emotionally read everyone so she can cater to the abuser to keep herself safe + understand how to manipulate the other victims (to make life easier for herself, to hurt them to satiate her abuser & feel like she's regained some control, etc)

alec was one of the siblings slightly closer 2 her in age + one of the siblings she tormented, someone she knew exceedingly well as a result of her power. theres a connection there. its a bad connection but theres a connection. forced him to do horrible shit alongside heartbreaker + WoG implies she contributed 2 the sexual abuse by fostering the hypersexual behavior. basically i bet she thinks she has him read for filth

he was a sad little sopping wet crybaby 4 most of the time she knew him absolutely the type that would make younger cherie be like "tch...hes not cut out for anything." and tell him to stop being a whiny baby (<- she thinks this counts as helpful life advice). i think she would tell him this even if he wasn't actually crying. like he would go ":(" in his head and she would be like Stop being a whiny baby. just unprompted. also on the one occasion she tried to cheer him up she did so by letting him watch liveleak videos of people exploding on her phone.

anyway my point is. sad sopping wet crybaby jean-paul grows up, toughens up, runs away successfully (first heartbroken to do so), and THEN becomes a threat of stabilizing his own power 2 the point where he could eventually become more successful/well-known than her while the cult back home is slowly dwindling in power. what if the sopping wet crybaby younger sibling you tortured as a coping mechanism was at risk of getting cooler than you would that be fucked up or what.

furthermore i think cherie is like. conscious about the fact that she sucks and the heartbroken home sucks and thinks she's being Honest about it + brave in the face of the inherent misery that the world wreaks upon her for sucking. and she also thinks that alec is, like, not just lying and obscuring the fact that he sucks from the undersiders, but successfully being treated like he Doesn't suck as a result. which pisses her off and is, aside from thinking it's funny when he's miserable, why she tries to ~reveal the truth~ about him 2 the undersiders over the phone. this is funny because alec also thinks he's being honest about the fact that he sucks and in fact considers it one of his strong points.

but anyway yeah i think shes fixated with being able to like. drag him back down to what she perceives as their shared level + reestablish control over him bc him being free and successful while genuinely improving himself as a person puts fundamental cracks in her worldview.

all of which is to say in the beautiful hypothetical world where she gets drudged up from the ocean and riley and amy awkwardly put her back together she finds out alec died doing smth good 4 aisha and she doesn't fucking like it. because he's beyond her reach in two ways forever now. first of all he's dead. second of all he died doing something uncomplicatedly caring and self-sacrificing for a friend which means the undersiders permanently remember him as a fucked up kid they knew back when they were all fucked up kids who ultimately Tried and went out being the best person he could be. which means she can't drag him back down to her level and reassert her worldview by making him miserable Or by changing ppls opinions of him. even insinuates that what She thought about him might have been wrong. and aisha laborn, the person he died for, who is now taking care of all of the heartbroken, who still remembers alec deeply fondly, is naturally where her Weird Psychological Fixation transfers next. also worth noting that THE FUCKING WORLD ENDED while she was down there and the s9 is Over so cherie is just. utterly irrelevant everybody forgor about her. she doesn't even get to feed off ppls hatred, no "negative attention is still attention" for her, she just gets drudged up and is expected 2 move on with her life. which is to say she immediately clings onto the one remnant of the world she knew, the one place where she can still claw for relevancy w/ ppl who would know her, and starts emailing aisha "can't make a banaisha split without a cherie on top" 200 times in a single evening. and aisha doesnt care at all cherie is going fucking nuts over this whole thing and aisha is just over there mentally writing this weeks grocery list in her head

[mokkkki]

microfic - spideypool - tw: blood

He reaches out to take his hand, to console him, but he’s so damn angry that he yanks it away, burning. “What you did was not okay.” 

Peter’s eyes widen slightly, in understanding, discomfort, and a certain type of tension Wade knows really fucking well with by now. Peter saved his life, which is- which is objectively a good thing, shows that he truly cares for him, so why is he so pained by it? By the idea that Peter would die for him? He should be complimented, in a way. Pleased. 

But nothing of the smog rolling through his veins suggest pleasure. 

Peter’s voice is a forced calm, but he hears the tone underneath, a dry thing that’s both brittle and insulting. Wade knows that well, too. “So it’s okay for you to risk your life, but not mine?” 

“It doesn’t work like that,” he watches the knuckles of his hand, on the plastic sidebar of the hospital bed, slowly whiten with how tight he's gripping it. “It doesn’t work like that, and you know it, because I can die and come right back, but you can’t. You’re fragile.” 

“Fragile.” He repeats, bitter. Wade ignores it. He doesn't have time, for any more pity parties.

“Compared to somebody that can regrow a leg in five hours, yeah, you kind of fucking are! Why- why would you do that?! Why would you risk your life for somebody that can’t die?!” He explodes, the plastic snapping under his fingers, the flimsy shards tearing into the flesh on the underside of his fingers with a squelch that Peter flinches at. He lifts it up, seething, and rips the plastic pieces out, a smattering of blood staining the hospital sheets it stains. He makes Peter watch the blood drip down the hardened curve of his palm, makes Peter watch the way his body swallows up the injury, and absorbs the damage.  “What you did wasn’t heroic. It was idiotic.” He hisses. “You would’ve died for an immortal man.” 

“I wouldn’t have regretted it.” 

“And I would’ve found a way to stay dead.”

“You’ve risked your life for mine-“ 

“I don’t have a life to risk!” He says, for what is only the first time but feels like the hundredth. He starts pacing. If he had any hair, he’d rip it out the fucking socket. Peter looks small and weak in that hospital bed, with his broken bones and broken heart, and he wonders, briefly, terrifyingly, if he’s suicidal. If this was supposed to be his one last act of sacrifice. To redeem himself. Wade’s eyes narrow. “Are you suicidal?!” 

“What?” He says, sitting up now, heartbeat quickening on the monitor. “No. Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. I have a duty, I can’t just-" 

“Duty.” He shakes his head. “You have a duty, and you had-“ Had, Wade realizes, shuddering. “-me, and you were going to martyr yourself anyways. Take the easy way out.” 

“What about this seems easy to you?!” 

“The fact that you would’ve gotten the last word. You died for your city and you died for me and that would’ve meant you were somebody good, without all the complications of a living, breathing, constantly-evolving entity.” 

There’s a certain look on his face and suddenly, he knows he’s right. 

“You’re disgusting.” He’s saying, rambling and running his mouth filthy. “No, worse than that. You’re a coward.” 

He’s being too harsh, he knows, Peter wanted to save him, he can understand, he would crucify himself so that Peter wouldn’t get hurt, but what makes him irrational and rude is this; Peter would’ve sacrificed himself, not for Wade, not out of a desire to see him unharmed, but for himself. To make Wade care for him forever and ensure a pristine image. Does that make sense? He feels like he’s slipping.

“Would’ve been a pointless death,” he says, suddenly so sad he can barely breathe. “You would’ve left me all alone.” You’d be better without me, is what Peter’s probably thinking, the self-deprecating nightmare, so he replies, “And I would’ve suffered for it.” 

“You’re suffering now.” 

Wade opens his mouth and closes it. He has no rebuttal. They’ve been trying to make a relationship work so hard and for so long and each time they they we both get hurt. It’s torture, it’s massacre. It’s suffering. 

[itsclydebitches]

The thing about that Winter thing, just to remind, from her POV she killed James. The last she saw of him was was her making him explode. From her perspective she is the one who killed that guy. And she is not very Brocken up about it.

Its amusing because they give Adam more sympathy then this. Blake literally broke down sobbing after killing him and even the triumphant song they released had a note about how sad Adam's story was and how this boy lost his way being consumed by hate and spite.

It was not alot, but like...its more then they give Jimmy LOL.

Pretty sure I got this ask when we all thought Winter was writing on Ironwood's grave, but regardless...

Yeeeah.

Something I've been thinking about lately is how Ironwood is the one villain who is still irrevocably against Salem and how that should have made such a difference, but didn't. Even Adam, whose story-line became 99% about his abusive relationship with Blake, was working with Cinder earlier on who, in turn, was working for Salem. Every major villain in the show (that I can think of off the top of my head, anyway) did something to forward Salem's agenda: Cinder, Watts, Tyrian, Hazel, Emerald, Raven, Adam, Roman. That consistency means that although I might often side-eye the heroes' inability to forgive (or hypocritically forgive on a dime) it at least makes sense that they would look at someone like Lionheart, someone who was helping Salem end the world, and dismiss any goodness within them.

Ironwood, in contrast, was working against Salem up until the moment he died.

Did the writers give him a senseless, fucked-up means of moving against Salem via a 'just bomb civilians' plan? Yes and I'll forever side-eye that too. However, I think if the heroes should have forgiveness/sympathy/mixed feelings/an emotional reaction to any villain, it should be the one whose villains acts were all in the name of stopping their shared enemy. In debating the ethical and practical merits of Ironwood's plans, I think many fans have lost sight of the larger picture. He's trying to get the Relics away from Salem, keep their last army of huntsmen in reserve to fight Salem later, get at least one city of people safely away from Salem. No matter how messed up, no matter how misguided and OOC there wasn't a single thing Ironwood did that wasn't guided by his attempts to keep Salem from ending the world. In a better written show, that would have meant something. Even if we still had to get cartoon villain Ironwood, the characters would at least acknowledge that he (from the show's POV) did all the wrong things for the right reasons. Winter in particular was set up to be that nuanced insight, given his mentor-esque status and her unfailing faith in 99% of the choices Ironwood made. That the show would have her (from her POV) kill him and then just sneer at how she waited too long to do it is insane. Please write these characters humanely! Even if you come to hate someone for what they've done, years worth of love for them doesn't just up and disappear!! That's the one (1) snow scene moment RWBY got completely right: of course Ozpin is still going to care for Lionheart despite his betrayal.

For me, intent will always matter. It might not excuse everything (or anything at all), but it opens the door for forgiveness in a way that few other things will. Which is why the intent of other characters, in contrast, makes Ironwood's writing so much worse. You have Qrow teaming up with Tyrian because he refuses to go see Ironwood in handcuffs and Emerald who is "redeemed" because she was literally just standing beside Oscar post-realization that Cinder doesn't love her. The show says, "You're forgiven for being so stubborn you'll deliberately help kill your friend" and the characters say "You're forgiven for trying to end the world/destroying a school and then stopping out of selfish self-interest." But there's no "You're forgiven for taking extreme measures in a no-win scenario in an effort to salvage some hope against an immortal enemy." That's messed up to me! Especially given that Ironwood is (presumably) dead. If there's ever a time to let characters extend compassion in a way they may not be able to with the person still there and potentially still enacting wrong, it's when they've died for those heroic beliefs. Ironwood is the one villain who, methods aside, was 100% fighting the right battle and he's simultaneously the one villain that characters and story alike refuse to give even a smidge of sympathy for. Wild.

[wearelondonhq]

Happy Meme Day!!! If you want to take part all you have to do is reblog this post. Remember if you reblog to send them out to EVERYONE who also does. Meme lasts from today until the next Wednesday (may 1st).

FORTNIGHT

I was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

I was a functioning alcoholic.

Nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

All of this to say, I hope you're okay.

No one here's to blame.. what about your quiet treason?

For a fortnight there we were forever running.

You're in my backyard turned into good neighbors.

I want to kill her/him/them.

All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February.

I took the miracle move on pill, the effects were temporary.

I love you, it's ruining my life.

I touched you for only a fortnight.

My husband is cheating... i want to kill him.

I call you up but you won't pick up.

Another fortnight lost in America.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

You left your typewriter at my apartment.

i think some things I'll never say.. like who uses typewriters anyway?

You're in self-sabotage mode.

Who else decodes you?

Who's gonna hold you like me?

Who's gonna know you if not me?

We'rе modern idiots.

I chose this cyclone with you.

Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.. because we're crazy.

At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on.. and that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVORITE TOYS

Here we go again.

You should've seen him when he first got me.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys.. i'm queen of sand castles he destroys.

I should've known it was a matter of time.

There was a litany of reasons why we could've playеd for keeps this time.

I know I'm just repeating mysеlf.

He runs because he loves me.

'Cause you should've seen him when he first saw me

I knew too much.

There was danger in the heat of my touch.

He saw forever so he smashed it up.

Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me

He was my best friend.

I felt more when we played pretend than with all the Ken's.

He took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts.

Told me I'm better off, but I'm not.

DOWN BAD

Did you really beam me up?

Tell me I was the chosen one.

For a moment I knew cosmic love.

Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym.

Everything comes out teenage petulance.

Fuck it if I can't have him.. it's like i lost my twin.

I might just die, it would make no difference.

Come back and pick me up.

Fuck it if I can't have us.

I might just not get up.

I might stay down bad.

Did you take all my old clothes?

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you.

For a moment, I was heavenstruck.

I loved your hostile take-overs.

I'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.

How dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded?

Cause fuck it, I was in love.

Fuck you if I can't have us.

SO LONG, LONDON

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

My spine split from carrying us up the hill.

I stopped trying to make him laugh.

How much sad did you think I had?

Did you think I had in me?

You'll find someone.

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out..

I founded the club she's heard great things about.

I left all I knew.

I stopped CPR.

Thе spirit was gone.

We would never come to.

I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

Two graves, one gun.

I'll find someone.

You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.

My white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment.

My friends said it isn't right to be scared.

Every breath feels like rarest air.

Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self implode?

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof.

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

I forget how the west was won.

I forget if this was ever fun.

I just learned these people only raise you to cage you.

What a mess.

I just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.

Too high a horse for a simple girl to rise above it.

They slammed the door on my whole world.

But, daddy, I love him.

I'm having his baby... no, I'm not, but you should see your faces.

No, I'm not coming to my senses.

I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want.

Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

You're this chaos, he was revelry.

Stay away from her.

Lord knows the words we never heard.

I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.

I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, it's mine along with all the disgrace.

God save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see.

You ain't gotta pray for me.. it's just my choice.

There's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles.

Scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer.

We came back when the heat died down.

Went to my parents and they came around.

All the wine moms are still holding out.

Fuck 'em, it's over.

Even my daddy just loves him.

I'm his lady.

Oh my god, you should see your faces.

I know it's crazy but he's the one I love.

FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER

I'm running back home to you.

I know who my first call will be to.

He don't understand me.

Handcuffed to the spell I was under.

But it's gonna be alright.

I did my time.

Toss the ashes off the ledge.

I will never lose my baby again.

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it.

Watched me daily disappearing for just one glimpse of his smile.

All those nights you kept me goin'.

Swirled you into all of my poems.

Now we're at the starting line.

No matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up, now that I know what's at stake here.

FLORIDA!!!

You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too.

They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true.

My friends all smell like weed or little babies.

The city reeks of driving myself crazy.

Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.

Well, mе and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

Yеs, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine.

Well, no one asks any questions here.

So I did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.

I've got some regrets.

Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida

I need to forget, so take me to Florida

What a crash, what a rush.

Love left me like this.

I don't want to exist.

GUILTY AS SIN?

I hadn't heard it in a while.

My boredom's bone deep.

This cage was once just fine.

Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks.

Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox.

I'm seeing visions.

Am I bad, or mad, or wise?

What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

Oh, what a way to die.

I keep recalling things we never did.

Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?

There's no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.

We've already done it in my head.

Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

What if I roll the stone away?

They're gonna crucify me anyway

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

I choose you and me, religiously.

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

You don’t get to tell me about sad.

If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said.

Nothing makes me feel more alive.

Who’s afraid of little old me?

You don’t get to tell me you feel bad.

Is it a wonder I broke?

Let’s hear one morе joke.

Then we could all just laugh until I cry.

I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean.

Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth.

So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

Say they didn’t do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

All you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs.

I’m always drunk on my own tears, isn’t that what they all said?

I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn.

I’m fearsome, and I’m wretched and I’m wrong.

Put narcotics into all of my songs and that’s why you’re still singing along.

You lured me and you hurt me and you taught me.

You caged me and then you called me crazy.

I am what I am 'cause you trained me.

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

The smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town.

The jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.

God, help her.

I told them he's my man

I can fix him, no, really, I can.

The dopamine races through his brain on a six-lane Texas highway.

His hands so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face.

I could see it from a mile away.

A perfect case for my certain skill set.

He had a halo of the highest gradе.

He just hadn't met me yеt.

Good boy, that's right.

Come close.

I'll show you Heaven if you'll be an angel, all mine.

Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man.

LOML

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?

We were just kids, babe.

You said I'm the love of your life.

A con man sells a fool a "get love quick" scheme.

I felt a hole like this, never before and ever since.

What we thought was for all time was momentary.

Mr. Steal-Your-Girl, then make her cry.

You shit-talked me under the table.

I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all.

You're the loss of my life.

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit.

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it" And I did.

Lights, camera.. bitch, smile.. even when you wanna die.

He said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting "More".

I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'.

I can do it with a broken heart.

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day.

I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art.

You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

I can hold my breath.

I've been doing it since he left.

I keep finding his things in drawers, crucial evidence I didn't imagine the whole thing.

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

I don't even want you back.

I don't miss what we had.

Could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

Were you writing a book?

Were you a sleeper cell spy?

In fifty years will all this be declassified?

You'll confess why you did it and I'll say, "Good riddance".

It wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside.

You deserve prison, but you won't get time.

You said normal girls were "boring", but you were gone by the morning.

You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing.

You are what you did.

I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive.

THE ALCHEMY

This happens once every few lifetimes.

These chemicals hit me like white wine.

What if I told you I'm back?

The hospital was a drag.

Worst sleep that I ever had.

I circled you on a map.

I haven't come around in so long.

I'm coming back so strong.

Ditch the clowns, get the crown.

Baby, I'm the one to be.

The sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me.

Honestly, who are we to fight thе alchemy?.

Hey, you, what if I told you we'rе cool?

That child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule.

I'm making a comeback to where I belong

We've been on a winning streak.

There was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league.

Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me.

BONUS! BELOW THE CUT, FIND MORE OPTIONS FROM A MIX OF THE ANTHOLOGY TRACKS!

credit goes to @perspectivestarters !!

I move through the world with a heart broken.

I may never open up thе way I did for you.

Six weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke.

I can tell when somebody still wants me.

Once you fix your face, I'm going in.

Whether I'm gonna be your wife, or gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet.

I'm gonna get you back.

Whether I'm gonna curse you out, or take you back to my house, I haven't decidеd yet.

You'll find that you were never not mine.

Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you.

Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way.

A touch that was my birth right became foreign.

Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

You know how to ball, I know artistotle.

Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman, but she used to say she wished that you were dead.

When I count the scars, there's a moment of truth, that there wouldn't be this, if there hadn't been you.

One day, your kid comes home singin' a song that only us two is gonna know is about you.

[osachiyo]

CHIYO HI I JUST READ UR LATEST DAZAI FIC AND I HAVE A LOT TO SAY.

"shh, you have to be patient, sweetheart,” — when dazai said this i actually died in his arms bc HE WOULD SAY THAT. i swear it's canon this man is into dragging out everything for so long that sex with him is just hours of him edging you. i would know

"a strained laugh left him, you could tell he was trying his best to keep his restraint" — AND IMAGINE HIM STRUGGLING TO KEEP HIS COMPOSURE AS HE'S TEASING YOU. *drops mic*

“oh, my pillow princess wants to be an impatient brat now? hmm.. fine then, no more playing nice" — i will jump off a roof bc dazai x bratty!reader is the best pairing on earth and u captured it perfectly AAHHHGGHHhhhh. i can imagine dazai smirking as he says this omg

"almost slipping in before he cruelly pulled back, and repeating the action" — ok so i forgot where i read it but there was this one headcanon that dazai has insane self-control and can edge u for hoursss even if it means delaying his own pleasure AND STOP BC WHY IS THAT SO HOT

"he'd do this thing where he'd fuck your thighs, thrusting his cock between them until he's on the brink of cumming— before pushing only the leaky tip past the tight ring of your cunt and shooting his load inside" — messy sex with dazai messy sex with dazai messy sex with dazai

"you felt like you were going insane— the torturous feeling of having your orgasm ripped away from you had you sobbing, begging dazai to just fuck you— let you cum. but of course, he didn't listen— only chuckling mischievously before grinning at you, reminding you that you brought this upon yourself" — this entire paragraph reminded me that dazai's so.. so... yknow (i forgot what word i was looking for) and oh mygod i hate this man but i also can't live without him AND HE'S SO IN CHARACTER AGH

"oh— fuck, how're you s-still so damn tight—" — u r driving me crazy bc i will think about the dialogue in this fic for ten million years. i will be on my deathbed (with dazai) and our kids will wait eagerly for my last words and i will say "go.. go read tumblr user sachiyoh's dazai fic.. go, my children.." and then one of them will pull the plug on us. anyways

"but he had to make you cum first, you earned it, after all." — DAZAI REWARDING US WE WON WE WON

and then zzz we fall asleep but no i stay up and think about this fic forever and ever. anyways

PLSSS SABS TJIS IS THE NICEST THING I'VE RECEIVED EVER 🥹 so glad u like it !! the fact that you quoted some of the parts WITH feedback is just— *explodes*

[meredithbeckham]

the tortured poets department. songs one through five.

i was supposed to be sent away.

they forgot to come and get me.

i was a functioning alcoholic.

i hope you're okay.

you're the reason, and no one's here to blame.

what about your quiet treason?

we were forever running.

sometimes you ask about the weather.

your wife waters flowers.

i want to kill her/him.

all my mornings are monday stuck in endless februrary.

i took the miracle 'move on' drug. the effects were temporary.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

i touched you only for a fortnight.

but i touched you.

my husband is cheating.

i called you up, but you won't pick up.

i think some things i never say.

who uses typewriters anyway?

you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down the road.

i've seen this episode and still love the show.

who else decodes you?

who's gonna hold you, if not me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

i scratch your head, you fall asleep.

i've read this one where you come undone.

i chose this cyclone with you.

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

you told lucy you'd kill yourself if i ever leave.

i felt seen.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. because we're crazy.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

here we go again.

you should've seen him when he first got me.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

i'm the queen of sand castles he destroys.

it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night.

i should have known it was a matter of time.

there was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

pull the string, and i'll tell you that he runs because he loves me.

he saw forever so he smashed it up.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

he was my best friend.

i felt more when we played pretend.

told me i'm better off. but i'm not.

tell me i was the chosen one.

showed me that this world is bigger than us, then sent me back where i came from.

for a moment i knew cosmic love.

now i'm down bad, crying at the gym.

everything comes out teenage petulance.

fuck it if i can't have him.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

fuck it if i can't have us.

i might just not get up.

i might stay down.

did you take all my old clothes?

that somehow seems so hollow now.

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you.

for a moment, i was heaven struck.

i loved your hostile take-overs.

how dare you say that it's-?

i'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded?

fuck it, i was in love.

so fuck you, if i can't have us.

like i lost my twin.

i saw in my mind ferry lights through the mist.

i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift.

pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

my spine split from carrying us up the hell.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

so long, london.

you'll find someone.

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.

i founded the club she's heard great things about.

i left all i knew.

you left me at the house by the heath.

i stopped cpr. after all, it's no use.

the spirit was gone.

i'm pissed off you let me give all that youth for free.

i'll find someone.

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

my friends said it isn't right to be scared.

every breath feels like the rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there.

how much tragedy did you think i had in me?

how long did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

how long did you think i'd go before i'd have to go be free?

you swore you loved me, but where were the clues?

i died on the altar waiting for the proof.

you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

i'm just getting color back into my face.

i'm just mad 'cause i loved this place for so long.

had a good run, a moment of warm sun.

i'm not the one.

two graves, one gun.