#anyway. been thinking a lot about insignificant little headcanon things. like sleep and hair care habits.

[hey-hey-j]

sleepover at the bunker

(★my Ko-fi) | (★commission info)

[prose-for-hire]

Headcanons for caring for a depressed s/o:

Request: I was wondering what would some the Buffyverse individuals do for a significant other with chronic depression Requested by: @shy-ginger-in-the-graveyard 

Characters: Spike; Giles; Angel: Buffy; Cordelia; Xander; Willow; Oz; Anya; Faith

Warning: Discussion of symptoms of depression (I didn’t describe in too much detail, mostly about the care/support the character would give). Mention of medication (If you do not take medication just ignore it). Hints at harm.

A/N: I don’t have an insight into the way everyone’s depression works, so I can only write what I know. If you want something else just request! Sorry it took slightly longer than I anticipated! I hope this is okay !! 💖

Spike:

Spike’s mood is always in tune to yours

So when things are getting bad, he can feel it

If you can’t get out of bed, he’ll come to you

He’ll wheel the tv over, grab some blankets and try to comfort you as much as he can

you’ll be bundled up in so many blankets, it’ll be a little nest

He’ll join you in bed, wanting to have a lot of physical contact

He’ll be worried all of the time, he feels a lot. Especially when he cares for someone

He’ll sit with you for as long as is necessary

won’t ever be bored

If you want cuddles will silently hold you or tell you what’s going on on the tv if you’re not looking and nestling into his side

If you want leaving alone, he’ll try not to hover (but the man loves deep and the way he shows it is comfort)

He will every so often suggest an activity, one he knows will require less effort on your part to try and get you out of the crypt

Will look up ways to help or ask you a lot if he’s doing the right things

Won’t want to leave you on your own when it gets real bad but if he has to he’ll make sure you can contact him immediately wherever he is

He’ll ask what he can do to help a lot. hates to see you in pain.

literally hurts him. But he never wanted to leave your side.

Will promise to support you for as long as you need if it interferes with jobs/etc (he can get money)

Giles:

at first his concern might come across a bit sharp

But when he finds you crying over something insignificant he’ll come and cradle you and sit you down while he sorts it

He’ll be very practical but incredibly soft with you

Reminders to take meds, etc

Will check with you on what you want

A lot

(which may get annoying but try not to snap he’s really trying)

He’ll have read up on everything he can concerning depression and try his best to be someone you can talk through anything with

doesn’t want you to feel alone in anything (you’ll never feel a burden)

will do tasks around the house if you’re struggling and won’t like you to thank him

he’ll see it as the least he could be doing

he’ll often set up snacks and everything around you on the sofa if that’s where you’re set up

moves all of the piles of books from in front of the tv so you can watch

will sit and watch anything. But will give you a commentary on how much drivel is pouring from the screen if its particularly low-brow

If you can’t focus on the screen or get restless he’ll think of ways to help

He’ll take out a book, pull you into him and start to read in that soothing voice

Angel:

he’d get it

You wouldn’t have to explain

He’d be able to tell if things were getting worse

He might notice your sleep schedule was almost as nocturnal as his

Or that you’re smile isn’t quite reaching your eyes half of the time

Despite you at least making the effort

but he’ll ask you to always come to him and talk about it

If you can’t that’s okay, he gets that too

But he wants to be there

And he’ll tell you so

Will give very good reassuring hugs.

especially ones in the mornings when you both know you should be leaving bed

he doesn’t eat human food, but he will always cook an evening meal

wants to make sure you’re eating decent meals

sometimes you might forget or not have the energy

but he will always make sure he’s planned an evening meal

If you can’t sleep he’ll make warm drinks and watch over you

will hold you for as long as you need (especially on a restless night)

not being able to sleep sucks, but at least you know he’s right there

If you’re feeling very low, will make sure to stay with you to make sure you’re safe

It’ll be the most important thing to him

Buffy:

this girl knows depression

She’s been there and worn the T-shirt

She’ll know that sometimes there’s literally nothing she can do to turn your mood

But it doesn’t mean she won’t be there if that’s what you want

she’ll try to bring you on patrol as much as she can, it’s a distraction at least

but if you really can’t face leaving the house, she would ask the scoobies to start taking up the slack and stay in with you

I feel like she would do all the shopping (food and extras) so you’d have a bunch of fun snacks or random treats that she hoped you might like

knows the little things can go a long way

if you appear emotionless or low, she’ll kiss you softly on the forehead and will never take it personal

if you’re trying to avoid going out she’ll gently encourage you

if you really refuse to go out in the evenings, her solution will be movie nights. 

She’ll rent videos and set up the living room 

so many blankets and she’ll cuddle up to you

she’ll slowly invite one or two friends over too so that you’re not cutting yourself off from everyone you care about (there’s no chance she’ll let you cut her out)

eventually, there will be regular Scooby movie nights

Cordelia:

will chat to you about anything and everything

Won’t expect you to talk back, just wants you to know she’s there

can talk non-stop for days about all of the gossip she has accumulated

If you’re struggling to motivate yourself with everyday tasks she will do as much as she can

without even mentioning it

If you haven’t washed your hair in a while she will offer to wash your hair

Will run you a bath (or shower if that’s easier)

And will very soothingly massage your scalp and wash/condition your hair

She’d set out comfy clothes and definitely brush out your hair (or comb it/style it depending on your style)

read in a magazine that sunlight is supposed to help

trying to decide if the tanning bed would be the same thing

eventually opts for natural sunlight when told by one of the Scoobies that tanning booths probably aren’t the best way to go

will set up a beach day

or the closest thing she can get to a beach day (which might just be sitting in the back garden under the sun)

you tell her she didn’t have to but she will smile wide and insist that it was the best excuse to work on her tan

Very caring and will drop everything for the right person to meet their needs

Will fight anyone that says anything judgemental or rude about you

Willow:

She’ll be very practical but try to be lowkey about it

small suggestions to make sure you’re looking after yourself

you will never ever have any doubt she cares

forgetful? Sticky notes everywhere

adjusting to new meds? Will make a list of any side effects and monitor you to be sure you’re safe

(just cos she cares)

If the days are running into each other she will wake you up telling you the day with a little kiss

I feel like she’d like meal prepping

so she’d make meals for the week so you could have something in if you weren’t feeling up to cooking anything nutritious

she’d totally be doing it anyway, so just makes a little extra for you to share

she will also bake and encourage you to join in too. She’ll say its more fun when you’re around

she will try and inject a little bit of fun into everything

e.g. making a game out of tidying your living room/bedroom

Will offer to do a few spells to help with everyday tasks if they’re overwhelming you a bit

Won’t be too upset if you say no

But will try to convince you multiple times

Xander:

if you’ve been in a slump for a while he’ll try and shake up the routine

even if its just a little something

will crack a lot of jokes to try and cheer you up

“Laughter is the best medicine” (but he will definitely check in sporadically to make sure if u take meds that you are taking them)

won’t remember himself to check all the time but will remember randomly and he’ll ask even if you’re in the middle of a different conversation

But knows when to be serious, when you really need him to be there

Will want you to lean on him 24/7

Both literally and metaphorically

If there’s a day where you’re doing a lot of crying he will be the shoulder you cry on

Wouldn’t leave even if it looked like you were trying to push him away

Knows how to talk to you (especially if you were being self-deprecating)

would 100% be the type to make breakfast in bed on multiple occasions. Wants to make sure you feel special

because you’re usually pretty hard on yourself

might get frustrated that he can’t do more to help (but would never take it out on you)

would go and vent to Buffy or someone who would tell him what you would: that you love that he’s there as much as he can be. He makes it all worth it

Oz:

he’d be very chill about it 

He’d always worry, but be chill on the surface

not only because he’s literally always laid back but because he wants to show it doesn’t phase him

he loves you

he’ll just roll with whatever it is that you need

If you need to cancel plans he’d just nod and call up to cancel

Would try his best to make sure you were comfortable

He’s big on giving for a s/o so anything you needed he’d encourage you to ask

He’d probably check on you a lot, not always verbal just a gesture with his head

If you’re no longer able to enjoy stuff you’re into, he’ll try and slowly introduce small activities

bursts of fun that might or might not help

but you always appreciate the thought

Music.

Will play music as a way of distraction if your thoughts are getting heavy

Any genre. Any decade. Any mood

Will lie there with you, letting the songs wash over you both

Will want to hold your hand or something as a gesture of comfort

always wants you to know he’s there

Anya:

If you can’t move from bed or you’re unmotivated she will try her best to be understanding

Will set lots of alarms if it’s something important you need to get up for

Alarm clocks on every surface

But if you can’t face it she’ll make up a very unconvincing excuse but nobody will question her

At least her hearts in the right place

will tell you wild stories from her past to pass the time if you can’t face leaving the house

will insist you go to therapy and make sure you go

is very by the book because she has just learnt about everything

(thanks Google)

“it says here that counselling/therapy will help with your depression, so you have to go every week, y/n”

will not be open to discussion about it. 

she read it therefore it’s a fact so will always make sure you go. Same with meds if you take them. Same with making sure your diet is as balanced as possible

she’ll be very by the book because she’s just learning about it as she goes

and she’ll always want the best for you

Faith:

If you’re feeling particularly bad about yourself that day she wouldnt care about appearing vulnerable she’d whisper the softest things

you’d want to tease her but you just couldn’t

she’d make you feel so loved

you’d never be a burden with her

she’d love you so fiercely 

she might snap sometimes, but she knows when you’re more fragile

she’d hate seeing you cry

would make her cry

but she wouldn’t go anywhere or tell you to stop. She’d whisper and just let you cry against her

with her own tears threatening to spill

would be very protective

if anyone made you feel guilty or didn’t understand you physically couldn’t do stuff

she would not hesitate to use her slayer strength to back up her words

Will take you on trips in the car. Won’t tell you where she got the car from. Or if her license has expired or not

Mini roadtrips with no real destination

so that you can have some fresh air, some music

knows that you’ll need a change of scene if you’ve been staying in a lot

[rivkalashnik]

dishonorabletask01: a deep deep dive 

Describe your character in a few words.

Sociable, impulsive Ukrainian tries her best 2 survive. 

What do you know about your character that they don’t know yet?

Rivkele thinks she can kill someone else to save her life with no problem-- a Flores, in this case, according to the deal. If the terms are upheld. However, while she puts her own self-interest above others every day just by nature of her passive participation in the mob’s workings, she’s never willingly taken a life with her own hands in order to better hers. The distinction is a thin line but a real one, and she’s going to find herself a lot more morally conflicted than she anticipates, I think. 

What are your character’s major flaws?

Her lack of self-control and her fear. 

What would your character give their life for?

Almost nothing-- she’s a fighter, tooth-and-nail, to the point where self-sacrifice isn’t a viable option. The only situation I could think that would even come close would be if someone was holding a random innocent child at gunpoint and made her choose between her or the kid. And even then, in the back of her mind she’d be certain that the kid was in on it and it was all a setup. 

What is your character’s greatest asset?

Her mind-- she’s sharp as a tack. And an associated asset would be her open-mindedness. Everybody’s got flaws, and she knows that, so she’s willing to get to know people from varied walks of life. 

What would completely break your character?

Good question, good question. I think-- if she finally does manage to kill a Flores and it turns out that the whole thing was pointless and she can’t get out of the mob even then. 

How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

Usually, what you see is what you get with Riv-- although in situations with new people, she tends to try to appear more apathetic than she actually is. 

What is your character afraid of?

The main two would be being tortured & being trafficked. 

Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?

She doesn’t purposefully try to be rude but it sometimes does happen if she can’t control her brain-to-mouth filter, so I’d put her at a 6/10 leaning towards rude, but usually non-intentionally. 

If your character could choose a different identity, who would they pick?

I don’t think she would-- though maybe herself, but with a few adjustments. 

In what or whom is your character’s greatest faith in?

I think her greatest faith is in her own resilience. 

What was the best thing in your character’s life?

When she was still on top of her game, she owned her own apartment-- owned, not rented-- that actually had a bedroom instead of just being a studio. It had a giant window, and wasn’t on the first floor, and hardwood floors. And for a span of about eight months she also had a dog, a huge black Newfoundland named Andrei. She loved that dog. She had to sell the him, and the apartment, but they were the best things in her life at one point. 

What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

Essentially, everything that has happened since she had to sell her dog. 

What is your character’s biggest nightmare?

Anybody finding out what she’s been tempted to do re: the Flores family. 

What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

She remembers exactly which floorboards creaked in her house when she was growing up; she remembers the first song that was playing in the background when she won her first big pot (Fergalicious, from the tinny overhead speakers); she remembers the exact feeling of air on her face when biking down the big hill outside her house when she was a kid. 

What is your character’s secret wish?

Her secret wish would be to go back and re-do the last half of her life again so she wouldn’t be one foot in the grave before she finally has some measure of freedom again. 

What is your character’s greatest achievement?

Winning when the odds are against her. In general. 

What is your character’s deepest regret?

That she never kept in contact with her older sister. 

What is your character’s deepest disappointment?

That she’s 38 years old and her life still continues to suck, on the whole. 

What is your character reluctant to tell people?

She doesn’t ever want to admit why she works for the mob, especially to other people in the mob, because she’s worried they’ll think she’ll turn out to be a traitor (especially because they’re not technically wrong??). Her allegiance is out of necessity and not loyalty, which she always avoids mentioning.

What is your character hiding from themselves?

I think deep down she wants to find people she can genuinely trust, but because that seems impossible, she buries it deep enough to pretend like she doesn’t care. On a separate note, she also struggles with guilt because she’s complicit in such shady dealings on a daily basis-- but also, she doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions, even though technically it’s her choice to continue participating in the mob’s nonsense. So I’d say she’s hiding from dealing with all of those paradoxical feelings just by... ignoring & burying them, again. 

What makes this character angry? What calms them?

Direct personal insults. If you try to belittle her, or try to pull one over on her like she’s an idiot, she will get pissed. Yelling usually calms her down, in that situation. She’ll eventually wear herself out. On a daily basis, though “calm” doesn’t really cross her mind except for maybe popping in some earbuds. 

List situations in which your character would not have control over themselves.

Too many to list.

How strong is your character’s emotions? Controllable? Uncontrollable?

They’re pretty strong; 8/10.

What wakes your character up in the middle of the night?

The guy in the apartment on top of hers doing jumping jacks at all hours of the night, or maybe sirens of police cars rushing down the street. Otherwise, she sleeps like a rock. 

Describe a recurring dream and/or nightmare.

She’s drowning and there’s absolutely nothing and no one nearby-- just dark black water as she sinks. 

Describe your character’s family.

She hasn’t talked to her mother or her sister in years, so it’d be difficult to describe them now. In her memories, her mother is perpetually frowning, which nicely balances out her sister Rina’s laugh. 

Name your character’s favourite person and why.

Father Patrick. He’s not at all what she would expect from a priest, which she finds terribly amusing. 

How many friends does your character have?

I don’t know that she would consider herself to have any friends. “Friends” is a loaded word that implies some loyalty and level of mutual truthfulness, and I don’t think she ever feels like she’s in a place where she can reach that level of real connection. But she’s friendly with many, many people. 

How many friends does your character want?

Again-- the general concept is asking a little too much of her, honestly. 

How would a friend or close relative describe your character?

Loud. Scrappy. Clever, yet also incredibly stupid. 

Who depends on your character? Why?

No one really depends on her? She’s pretty replaceable, in most regards. Which makes it even more annoying that they won’t just let her leave. 

Who does your character most want to please? Why? 

As obnoxious as it is to be worried about his opinion, she wants to make sure she doesn’t disappoint the Englishman. Among others. Just for her own safety’s sake. 

How does your character feel about sex? 

Sex is fun, but only with people she doesn’t know. 

How does your character feel about romantic relationships?

Ew. Then they have to deal with your problems, and you have to deal with their problems when you already have your own... she’ll pass on that. She’s not the romantic type anyway. 

If your character had to live in utter seclusion, what six items would they bring?

A warm blanket, a pack of playing cards, a pack of cigarettes, a fully-charged ipod mini, earbuds, and a bottle of vodka. 

What is your character’s most noticeable trait and most noticeable physical feature?

Her incredibly tight red curls. Just a massive amount of hair. 

How does your character feel about work?

Inescapable. Shrug emoji

Write one headcanon.

She was raised in a Jewish household, but as an adult, she isn’t super engaged in religion & she doesn’t keep kosher. 

Write one additional thing about your character.

Riv’s first languages were Ukrainian and Yiddish-- and Ukrainian is pretty close to German, enough that she can get by in a German conversation. She learned Russian in school so she’s pretty fluent in that. Her English skills are so-so; she won’t be able have a deep, philosophical conversation in it, though. 

[papistark]

Okay. I’ve allowed a night to let everything sink in. I’m ready to talk about Endgame now.

*cinemasins voice* spoilers!! (duh..)

so the wounds are still fresh. v v v v v v v v v fresh. but my thoughts during the entire movie were just OMG IM TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS HAPPENING SO I CAN REMEMBER IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE i inevitably go see this movie again

This is what the movie reduce me to like 99% of the time btw

now, I’m gonna try and break this up to be as organized as possible into 4 main sections which will be general thoughts, the highs, the lows, and closing thoughts. that may sound organized but I promise it won’t be and as always I’ll have to use bullet holes to even stay relatively "organized"

I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out that I either loved or would wanna discuss but tbh the ENTIRE FILM i was just like GOD I WANNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER!! Every scene that happened i was like god there's still 3 hours of stuff that's going to happen but I want to remember it all!!!

Overall

this movie was good. and i’m mad it was so good and i found it so enjoyable for how dirty they did me. The pacing was pretty well done for a first viewing, but I'm sure after a couple rewatches I'll get caught up on the occasional misstep in the pacing and general direction the story took, but I really liked it!!

I thought the Thor stuff was kinda distasteful and honestly a joke that ran too long. Like ha ha okay we get it but also? He went through so much fucking trauma can we just lay off him? Damn? I don't wanna linger too much on it bc honestly the more I think about it the more I get upset the russos did him dirty

all the callbacks??? made me so emotional????? eleven years and almost two dozen films guys holy fucking shit it felt like such a good homage to bring stuff back

Yo literally when they went up to busted ass thanos i leaned over to my bf and whispered "are they just gonna kill thanos in the first ten minutes is that allowed" and uh YEP! WOW

Also the opening scene being Clint's family getting dusted... gasps in my theater y'all they went in hard on us

TIME HEIST!!!!!! FUCK marvel knows how to take you on a fun journey!! The concept was so fun!!

I also appreciate them mixing up the plot a bunch to keep us guessing!! Like fuck, when Thanos was finding out through Nebula... future nebula talking to past gamora i was SO SOFT... sisters...

Hulk was... weird. It felt a weird kind of fanservicey for a little bit, and honestly a little out of place? But. Eh. Wasn't the worst part. Certain parts of it were fun! I think I got used to it haha

Everyone looked. So good. After the time jump. Damn. Thank you make up department for everyone's new looks. I live for silver fox tony always.

I loved seeing Loki again i know it was so little content BUT I DONT CARE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY FUCKING PRINCE

We didn't get as much Nebula and Tony content as I was hoping but god it was so cute and tender in the beginning. Imagine all that bonding. Nebula finding tony on the floor, knowing he's on the brink of death, and propping him up in the seat :'(((( tony helping fix nebula :(((( the father daughter relationship we deserved and didn't get to see come to fruition.

AMERICA'S ASS. THANK YOU SCOTT LANG.

All the New York flash back was so fucking fun. The elevator scene. Brilliant. I really thought they were gonna recreate but it was such a fun tease. Also cap making fun of his past self for saying "i could do this all day" I SCREAM why do the Russo's get steve so well

Carol taking a direct punch in the face from Thanos without even flinching? We stan a goddess

ALSO SHORT HAIRED CAROL YESSSS I LIVED!!!!! YES!!!! (But also that movie could've used like way more Carol thats just mY OPINION)

Also AGAIN, I DON'T CARE THAT IT WAS FAN SERVICE, STEVE WEILDING MJOLNIR WAS E V E R Y T H I N G. They have TEASED US since that one middle avengers movie we don't talk about that he was worthy and!!! Our!! Son!! Is!! Fucking!!! Worthy. And the scene of thor making him swap w/ him "you get the little one" i screamed bitch

also I was living for how much Steve swore in this film lol literally fuck joss Whedon's characterization we don't know her!

Valkyrie on a Pegasus thank you THANK YOU i was living

That entire final action scene..... holy fucking shit y'all. It was just crazy enough without being too crazy. I loved the callback to the original long continuous shot

THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SANG WITH THAT A-FORCE SCENE. YES. ALL THE MARVEL LADIES LINING UP. THEY ARE HERE AND THEY ARE THE STRONGEST OF US ALL. A-FORCE. FUCKING A-FORCE. Thank you Russo's for my LIFE

Carol's little "hi peter parker :)" god i love them. I love peter. My fucking spider son. I missed him so much. I missed Tom Holland's sweet peach little face AH I CRIED WHEN HE SHOWED BACK UP

Also last kind of ~general~ thought i know i don't get time travel at all and it is an instant way to confuse me in any franchise but wouldn't steve doing what he did fuck literally everything up idk we'll get to steve in a bit

Highs

morgan

H.

fucking

stark

I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT FED WITH SUCH GOOD TONY CONTENT THIS FILM ONLY FOR THEM TO STOMP ON MY HEART LMAOOO

DAD TONY BEING AS LOVING AND DOTING AND SWEET AND TENDER W/ HIS DAUGHTER AS WE ALL HAVE HEADCANONED HIM TO BE FOR YEARS!!!

TONY GETTING HIS JUSTIFICATION IN BEING MAD not just mad but PISSED at Cap for how everything fell out. catharsis. felt good scoob.

speaking of good tony content of course i need to just take a moment to YELL ABOUT STONY thank you russos for the fan service thank you for having tony ogle and comment on steve rogers’ ass it almost makes up for all the pain and suffering

btw do y’all think the H. for Morgan’s middle name stands for Harley because I LIKE TO THINK SO

also am i lowkey annoyed that like half of viewers won’t recognize an adult ty simpkin at tony’s funeral at the end even tho i know i shouldn't be because ot everyone is a die hard BUT half the articles im looking up for reviews and shit of that scene literally all the results are “SO WHO IS THAT KID AT THE END OF ENDGAME” YOU FUCKING FOOLS IT’S TONY’S FIRST BORN SON HARLEY KEENER FROM IRON MAN 3. FUCKS. im getting off topic anyway i was just happy they brought him back because I am an iron man 3 enthusiast and his relationship with tony was SO important and this confirms that at the very least tony kept in contact with him over all these years!!! and he wasn’t just some insignificant blip

Not to be stony on main but steve being the first person to hold Tony again once he was back on earth :)))) wrow.

Also the first thing tony telling him being "I lost the kid" WOW BREAK MY HEART MORE HUH!! WHY NOT!!

The first thing Peter doing when he saw Tony again :'') just rambling about everything that happened and tony just so happy to see him alive and hugging him so tight I'M NOT FINE!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE FINE AGAIN!!!

I appreciated the closure with Howard like?? A lot?? I'm the last person to be a Howard stark apologist, but I think his character and his relationship w/ Tony and how Tony viewed him as a father and as a man was so well crafted throughout the series??? Idk I liked that scene it was good to my baby.

And now a pOSSIBLY CONTROVERSIAL~~ opinion but..... I loved Steve's ending. I really did. I thought he got a beautiful and fitting ending and I was so happy. It meant so much especially to hear his reasonging being that in a way, he did it for Tony. He was inspired by what Tony told him. He saw Tony get his happy ending and for so many films now Steve has been searching for that and he missed an entire life. Tony helped him realize that. It just made me!! So emo!! Like Bucky's face when he knew Steve wasn't gonna be coming back. Steve's last convo w/ Sam. It was just amazing. I can't believe I'm seeing hot takes from people calling Steve selfish or blaming the fact that the Russos have a boner for Steggy or whatever. Who cares!!! Steve got his happy ending and it was well deserved and a wonderful arc!! Lay off him bc you ship him w/ Bucky or tony more damn!!!! (Idk about the timeline y'all dont come for me i really have no idea i think the Russos just said fuck it for that one even when talking about not fucking up the timeline)

Lows

Natasha deserved better. She did. I understand why they took her character arc the way that they did, and honestly, this is the first time I've felt we've seen Natasha have even a modicum of actual character traits since like, Iron man 2 and Avengers 1. She found purpose in keeping the family together and trying to help the people left living, while never stopping or losing contact with anyone else in their endeavors to fix what Thanos broke. As tired as I am of seeing a female character die for ~man pain~ this felt like so much more than that. In the end Nat wanted to sacrifice herself for the greater good, and that's what she did. I'm still fucking upset though, even though they've butchered her character across almost all the films she's been in

Thor being turned into an entire fucking joke. That's it. I got nothin left for the writers at this point.

So..... let's talk about Tony's death, shall we

"You can rest now" broke me. It truly did. I've never loved any fictional character across any medium as much as I have loved Tony Stark. But Pepper's line at the beginning "you'll sleep, but will you rest?" Is so fucking telling. I think I immediately knew for sure in that moment. Because she's right. And that's the worst part.

Peter :)))) finally :)))) calling :))))) tony :)))) by :)) his :)))) first :)) name :))) as he was dying :)))) asking him not to go the same way he told tony he didn't want to go when he was getting dusted GOD. AND WE THOUGHT THAT SCENE IN INFINITY WAR WAS ROUGH. HAD N O T H I N G ON THIS.

No offense but where was Rhodey when Tony was dying lmao ok

That funeral scene.... seeing everyone there drawn together..... god. It was beautiful. It really was.

Of course I'm not happy. I'm extremely fucking upset. I knew tony wielding the gauntlet would be coming, but I thought they would find a way for him to make it out alive. As soon as they were showing that even the hulk couldn't handle it with the gamma radiation, I knew the nail was going to be in the coffin.

All that aside... what I can say, is that if they HAD to kill him off, I think it was a proper send off. We saw so many arcs of Tony's come to a close, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Also that being said, I really don't believe in death being necessary to end a character's arc. Yeah yeah blah blah we get the sad and tragic but TRUE message that at the end of the day death is inevitable and that tony had to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He and Strange both knew it, and as soon as Strange held up that finger I knew that was it for him.

It wouldn't be so hard if they hadn't given us everything they did with tony after the 5 year jump. He healed. He was HAPPY. But pepper was right, and as long as Tony was alive... he would never truly /rest/. And that's the only way I'm able to make peace with this death. Tony has always been a character who was just going going going, never going to stop even if it killed him, all to protect the ones he loved, and protect the whole world and make it a better place. He had a beautiful story that was told so well over these past eleven years, with admitted shortcomings here and there. He had the most cohesive trilogy films, the best character development and arcs, and an incredible portrayal. I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't make it any easier that they decided to go and show us that Tony was able to FINALLY settle down with Pepper and see him find the best version of himself as a husband to her and a father to his little baby girl. A baby girl that now has to grow up without her dad, and pepper has to go on without her husband, the love of her life. It's fucking tragic and honestly, we didn't need that imho lmao

The hardest parts is that like.... idk. I feel like the only reason they killed him is for shock factor, but somehow without the shock? A lot of us felt or were worried that this was coming. I think the russos and co. We're just totally set on the idea that like... tony HAD to die and that was the only way for this arc to come to a close not just WITHIN the universe, but meta, outside of the MCU as well. They did the same thing with Hugh jackman as Logan and that shit HURTED me y'all. Eleven years we had RDJ give us this amazing character and he is the SOLE reason the MCU is where it is today. So you know what, the Russo's and everyone can circle jerk about how much ~poetic justice~ there is in this ending for Tony, but at the end of the day... it just ain't it fam.

Realistically I know after wielding the infinity stones there is no way Tony, a human, could've survived, even with his armor on. I knew that. And as biased as I am towards seeing Tony living, if he had wielded the stones and NOT died? It would've felt cheap. So again, if they had to end his life, I appreciate the way they did it and thought it was the best send off they could've given him. I also would've appreciated some kind of alternate option where oh i dont know carol or someone strong enough could've handled the snap and tony could live the rest of his days with his wife and daughter and found family but..... ig that's just me huh.

:(((( Happy asking Morgan what she wanted and her saying "cheeseburgers" SHE'S JUST LIKE HER DADDY I AM SO!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And last thought is that I fucking cried AGAIN because the biggest applause moment was during the credits when RDJ's name appeared. My theater gave a standing damn ovation. Also the very last sound after it faded to black... Tony hammering away, building the very first Iron Man suit.... that shit hurted.

If any of y'all read this and wanna yell about stuff w/ me I WELCOME YOU INTO MY DMS LMAO PLS MESSAGE ME I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CRY WITH!!!

[someobscurereference]

hey so I just wanted to say that ur headcanons give me life. FFXV and fe14 alike! Like, it legitimately makes my day to reread them and I circle back to them constantly. Would it be too much to ask u to share some H/C headcanons for the main nohrian noble/retainer relationships? (The same ones you've done before, so Xander/laslow, Odin/niles/Leo, and Camilla/Selena/beruka?) like how they would react if one of them got hurt? Or even just sick? I'm flexible.

I’m!!! Thank u, anon!! It’s so sweet to hear you like my headcanons so much! Of course you can ask for some anytime! Thank you for reading them!! OTL

Since Xander/Laslow is the shortest, we’ll start there.

In Xander/Laslow’s final support convo, Xander straight up tells Laslow his one requirement of Laslow is that he continue to live, even if Laslow is no longer serving Xander. As opposed to Leo’s “please continue to use your title as retainer so we are connected no matter what,” Xander says, “I don’t care if you have a different name or appearance in the future, I just want you to continue to draw breath.” If Laslow were seriously life-threateningly injured, Xander would blame himself for not being stronger (the same way he blames himself for his past retainer’s deaths–he believes he was too “weak” to protect them, despite being absolutely outnumbered with little hope of winning anyway.) He certainly be torn up about it, but probably in private. It wouldn’t be good for a leader to be seen as weak in front of his soldiers. He’d probably internalize a lot of that guilt too, even if there was nothing he could have done. He’d probably overwork himself until someone told him to knock it off.

I think Xander and Laslow are really similar? Laslow would have a similar response, I think, feeling a lot of guilt because he didn’t do his job right. Laslow would also be depressed, though he’d probably be more obvious about it (even when trying to hide it. This Man For Flowers wears his heart on his sleeve and you can tell when his smiles are fake.) Laslow also dwells on how short life is a lot (in a lot of his supports), so this would probably just be another reminder at how close to losing someone he is at all times. 

They’d both visit each other in recovery often, though Xander might be busier with work and less likely to get away. He’d still go at least once a day, even if he’s exhausted and about to pass out tho. Eventually one of them would probably apologize to the other for “not being strong enough” and the other would probably say “What??? Are you talking about???” because they only view themselves as too weak. Laslow might cry.

If it were a small injury for either of them, Laslow would fret and Xander would be like, “That’s life. Sometimes you get hurt.” He’d tell Laslow to rest if he were injured and but maybe do some things that were too stressful if he himself were hurt. Laslow would happily be a bit lazy if he had a sprained ankle or something, but then he’d realize how less mobile and flirty he could be and then he’d complain dramatically. Same for if he got sick. If Xander were hurt/sick, he’d force him to take a rest “for the good of the kingdom and your continued health.” In that context, Xander might slow down. 

(In more romantic terms, Laslow would probably dote on Xander if he were sick, even if Xander were a little annoyed. Xander has a soft side, tho, so he might actually enjoy Laslow lingering and sitting and talking with him, just not the constant questions of if he wants anything. If Laslow were a tiny bit sick, he’d probably play it up dramatically. If he really had a fever, he might try to pretend it’s not as bad as it is, which Xander wouldn’t like. 

If Xander put his hand on Laslow’s forehead and was like, “Hey, you’re really hot,” (i.e. sick) Laslow would… go red and pass out on the spot probably, which would be only further proof that Laslow is ill in Xander’s mind. Meanwhile, being taken care of and held and stuff would go straight to Laslow’s heart.)

Leo/Niles/Odin

Leo is?? I don’t want to say more selfish, because that’s not the right word?? He’s not the worrying type because he’s pretty assured of himself that Niles and Odin are the best and can accomplish anything he asks, but if he got word one of them was in the infirmary for something not insignificant, he’d probably go there to check on them and once he was sure they’d recover, he’d be like, “What happened?”

Answer: They were protecting Leo or Nohrian citizens and got hurt somehow.

Leo: “Then don’t?? Do that???” (He doesn’t really mean don’t protect people, but part of him also can’t stand the thought of either of them being super hurt and disappearing forever. He does value N/O on the same level as his family but also as a prince, he feels he has to protect his people and can’t play favorites and it’s Complicated)

Niles: “That’s literally my job and I would happily die for you at any moment.”

Leo: “okay, but actually Don’t”

Odin: “I will never pass up an opportunity to help the innocent (and also Help you), my lord”

Leo: “Okay, but actually do it Better in the future so you don’t get injured like this.”

By which he means: pick the strategy that’s going to hurt you the least and retreat if need be. 

Niles and Odin would salute and agree but they all know they’re dummies who will do selfless things anyway. (Niles is a little less likely to say he would but if an absolutely helpless Nohrian citizen is in trouble or Odin/Leo were throwing themselves into danger, he’d be right behind them.) In Leo’s support with Odin, he’s straight up like “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. I need both you and Niles by my side.” If anything ever happened to them, especially for his benefit, Leo would be pretty devastated. He’d probably withdraw a lot, which is how I picture pre-Niles (and eventually Odin) Leo to be like, but even worse. 

Meanwhile, if Leo were hurt/sick, Odin and Niles would be on him 24/7, trying to comfort him while one-upping each other, and it’s hard to feel comfortable when you have The World’s Loudest Man on one side of you and That (Boy)Friend That Does Not Have A Limit on the other.

Odin: “MY LORD, MY OWN DARK AURA MUST HAVE INFECTED YOU WITH SOME NEFARIOUS CURSE I AM TRULY SORRY FOR MY AMAZING EVIL ENERGY WHICH HAS–”

Niles: “(Odin why don’t you say that a bit louder, I’m not sure Hoshido heard you) My lord, to help you sleep, I am going to read you this book of 1,000 Dirty Knock-Knock jokes, here I go”

Leo, desperate and crying: “please…let me rest…”

(If Niles/Odin were ever out of commission at the same time though, Leo, who values his alone time a lot, would probably become very lonely anyway)

Camilla/Selena/Beruka

If Camilla were ever hurt or sick, Selena would probably be running around the castle trying to do everything Camilla asks and then some. She’s gonna polish Camilla’s axes. She’s gonna take care of her wyvern. She’s gonna make Camilla soup! She’s gonna oversee some visiting diplomats whether she’s supposed to or not! Because Camilla is depending on her!! (And she has to be the best retainer ever!! Did you see that, Beruka???)

Beruka, standing outside the door: “I’m not a healer and none of that is my job.” 

But she will stand there all night waiting for assassins who have come to take out out Camilla in her weakened state. She probably doesn’t sleep for 3 days. Selena begins force feeding her food. 

Selena would force being cheerful for Camilla’s sake, though she’d also trash talk whoever caused Camilla to be hurt. Beruka wouldn’t, of course, but she’d be annoyed in her own way that she failed to protected her boss(/girlfriend, but the boss part might be more important to her.) If Camilla were sick, it might distress Beruka that “invisible enemies” could cause Camilla to fall ill like this. That’s not something Beruka can protect her from. Perhaps Camilla was poisoned? Drat. Beruka has been slacking off. She has to be more vigilant from now on. This could have been a fatal mistake.

(Selena: “hey you know it’s just a cold, right”)

Meanwhile, if Selena/Beruka were injured on the battlefield, Camilla would d e c i m a t e whoever hurt them. She’d be brutal. It would not be pretty. And then she’d take them back to the tents or their rooms or wherever to be taken care of. She would probably dote on them in persona lot the way Xander/Leo might not. Probably petting/brushing their hair and cooing over them and stuff. Beruka Would Not want that as it reminder her that she’s weak and she views it as unnecessary. She might give in once Camilla told her it’s for Camilla’s benefit as much as Beruka’s. For Selena, it’d be a bit more complex. Selena might feel weird at first, same as Beruka but also feeling bad that she “messed up” on the field and that Camilla shouldn’t dote on her, it should be the other way around (The “messed up” part wouldn’t apply if she just had a cold or something). Selena actually really likes being pampered though, so she’d probably grow to enjoy it a lot. “If Camilla says it’s okay, why shouldn’t I enjoy myself? Hell yeah”.

There would be lots of kisses. Especially from Camilla.