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echosofmortality · 14 days ago

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The Mafia AU isn't mine. It belongs to @twistedmafiaau , aka the Boss who has been kind enough to create this amazing AU. Here's the link to this week's ask and response as I can't link to the original again. As usual this contains explicit talk of sexual content and other topics (grape) that readers may be sensitive to. Mort doesn't mince words and neither do the boys.

For those looking for more of Mort and her shenanigan's... Here.

The finger wave from a certain dragon wasn't missed, though she questioned whether it actually happened cause she blinked. What shocked her further was the Kingscholar Family walking in rather bruised colorfully and quieter in presence than usual. A scuffle then. One she wouldn't mention in her blog.

Keeping her face neutral wasn't to difficult.

It was easy until the end, the pleasent real smile falling slowly as Leona leaned forward and she braced, hackles rising, for his one liners. Or something more than coy enough in jabs to make her wanna grab his ear. When his expression twitched with a hint of pain, hers only grew into horror as she witnessed the red bloom of rose patterns all over his no doubt expensive white suit. A pattern she had witnessed years ago that had all color draining from her face.

She didn't think. She moved. Dark suit jacket sliding off in a practiced ease that screamed she rarely wore the thing for long and she tossed it to him to compress his wounds with, to keep him alive. That's all her mind screamed on loop. She did not care if it was ruined. She did not care what camera caught what. He was red, the staining creeping into her mind and grasping her soul. Why did he wear white if he was injured so badly?!

But she knew the answer to that, (pride). Her sapphire eyes dared him to refuse the fabric shoved at him like a life line, a shield, a wordless chaticizment for foolish behavior and letting his damn pride eat him whole. She had half a mind to hold the fabric against him if he refused. No words spoken, but fear, concern, care flooding into the space between them all. Her gaze shifting to Ruggie and Jack realizing what she'd just done, eyes widening a fraction at their expressions. It was written all over her face for him, for them. Seemed she was telling the truth about one thing. And like she'd confessed in her blog, it wasn't something she was proud of. This wasn't going to end well. She needed another drink...

Outside, after escaping the crowds that swarmed the stage to get shots of Leona's injury (she'd snuck away in the hysteria), she found the white paper tied in summer mossy green and coal ribbon. Which hadn't been a surprise. A sigh leaves her as she calmly slides it back into her bag.

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Blog Post 5

Blood Runs Thicker Than Water (Week 5 of me asking the Kingscholar Family questions so you don't have to with my breakdown and responses)

Hello darlings,

How long has it been since I greeted you all like that?

Anyway, your all probably wondering if The King is alright. I don't know. But I know he wouldn't want us coddling him. Chin up darlings the Mafia doesn't die easily.

[Inserted link to "Woman who throws jacket at The King" Made by [redacted]]

...He'll be fine.

I'm happy to say the tension from last week has thoroughly dissapated. Though we did have a few players mixing in the background afraid I'll call you out again?. Though this seems to be becoming a normal thing among my interviews with the Kingscholar Family. Others get curious, and I can't blame them. Not everyday you get a residential hater who calls the facts and tries her best to be unbiased. Some say that's how you know you've made it. What do you think darlings? I know if a certain green family could stop trying to butter me up we may finally find peace. Can you tell I'm done with Mafia shenanigans?

Now I know you know I love getting into the details with these complex men, and I am delivering in full because I got fed this week. Body language, tone, voice pitch, facial expression and words darlings. I've been spoiled like a sugar baby with some brand new red bottoms! And believe me I plan on being very sweet for the treat. The King himself bestowed this resident feral blogger with a feast. Who knows maybe he'll read this in recovery? Wouldn't that be a treat (A girl can dream). Do you think he'd like my words darlings? Meh. Depends on how I paint him right?

The questions this week were rather straightforward but the details were something I was enchanted to hear. You all know me, a sucker for a story and some honest chatter. "What does your nickname mean to you?", didn't sit long in the air this time. I hadn't expected it to. But I was also... flattered... to see them relax. Makes me wonder if there is more to that subconscious display, but we're not digging there today. What exactly have they been going through this week to find relief in such a innocent ask? None of my business I assure you darlings. And don't go looking either. Stay safe and stay alive.

The King, as I so eagerly spoke of before, answered the question first which alone spoke volumes. He had something weighing on him, and his body language told me all I needed to know of what had been going on behind closed doors.

"It is a commonly known fact but when a ruler is capable no more of governing his land that's where the closest one to the crown takes his place. A king has not only privileges but also responsibilities towards his subjects, therefore he must be the most capable among them. I took the crown because the previous leader didn't have any interest in governing an empire built with sweat and dedication...and maybe a few corpses. I shouldered the weight of such a role, commanding a pride of wild beasts whose sole thought is to be the strongest, proving to everyone that both physically and mentally I'm superior to others. Don't you all think I deserve to be called King?”

A bold statement, don't you think darlings? This question was rhetorical but also...not. It's a message. One not meant for us to decipher, but I'm always rolling this lions ball of yarn weaved words in my hands. I have some guesses, but that just chatter. And we don't speculate, we speak truth here.

So let me pin down the facts. The King spoke of his succession being the source of his nickname catch the royalty plug . A call to what made him into who he is now. A claim. For those of you not aware, his elder brother was the previous leader who once controlled the Kingscholar Family. We now know why Falena, Farena for those of other tongues, retired with his wife and child a few years ago. Though even he has some skeletons in the closet he left behind. Careful they bite.

Now, this will be a rare moment, so prepare yourselves.

The King, as I have come to piece his enigmatic self together in many ways with time, is a strategist. Not just that, but a man who sees something that can change to be more useful and pushes himself to create manipulate the means to do so. He's a brilliant mind and honestly a man of great focus. His dedication and devotion to family is unmatched. Shame he's Mafia. I never said it was all flattery. He courts us with words that so far I have yet to see disproven in his mannerisms or actions. And yes, I dug into his history for dirt on if he was a hypocrite. All I found was sources calling him lazy besides things I've mentioned in the past already...

["Have you met the man?" Meme added by Mort]

I would call him petty (Ruggie agrees!) and a brat personally...

The notes on corpses hasn't escaped my notice, and you all know by now how fond I am of visiting graves. I'll admit I had to take a long walk to cool off after that cause biased I am. He claims to shoulder the weight of it all, but any good ruler knows they need support to stay on top, my one gripe with his speech I'm glad to bite into. I disagree with this rogue lion stance of claiming the glory for himself. Even an apex predator will get eaten if there foolish enough to attack a herd alone. This is a territorial puff by him no doubt. A display of damaged masculinity to claim dominance. Hence his question. "Don't you all think I deserve to be called King?"

It's pride. That festering growth that's been multiplying like mushrooms in a darkroom is begining to catch up with him. Careful your highness, you will choke if you let a little swatted ego rule you. You are King. Don't give Lizards your throne.

Our Hitman, Ruggie Bucchi, of course added his piece. Glad to see he was in fine form this week as I missed his face in a bemused expression, and the regular flirtations are always a welcomed layer of his personality. To answer his thank you, your welcome handsome. I do love a man who can voice his appreciation. Makes popping bottles for customers more enjoyable.

And I know you darlings missed his chipper mood to. Seems our hyena got some art to cheer him up from some fans on the blog. I did post them! And you can view them here [instert link]. Isn't Ruggie lucky to have such lovely darlings caring about him. I'm proud so many of you have taken the high ground with me in respecting these men. I feel like a proud mother watching her babies learn to be decent human beings instead of gremlins.

His response was as follows. "To be honest I didn’t like this name that got stuck with me like glue since the day people found out I could hold a rifle. It has a bit too heavy of a standard to hold being called Hitman, doesn't it?”

His shrug told me that he wasn't as indifferent as he seemed and once more I'm wondering just what he'd be if he had the opportunity to choose. Maybe I'll ask one of these weeks when my [redacted] isn't set on making me blush into the floor with his risque questions he has lined up. Sigh. Too many curiosities in my brain and not enough time slots.

The standard to a nickname such as Hitman is very heavy. I don't blame him for the bitter sweet tone he took. Heavy is the head that wears... Wait that's someone else.

Anyway, I assumed this nickname was due to a snatching nature. Color me intrigued with some food videos coming up of a certain hyena making his escape with take out or desserts not of his ownership. My bad to assume, but the idea did make me laugh. Embaressed Ruggie? It's you so own it. Well unless you're the person whose food is missing.

He goes on to give a detailed story of a photographer he met and how he came to appreciate his nickname through their eyes and talents. Even going as far as to lay it out for the more... Yeah the boys are relentless and mad at somebody. Sharks apparently are the topic of the week.

[Links to a certain reporter spreading scandal and lies] Possibly? Just me? Probably just my beef not theirs.

Shame he didn't finish his words, he really does paint quite the picture. While others found tension and discomfort with this kind of talk of a long awaited killl, I'm afraid I was just eating. it. up. Seems I'll have to wait to hear the rest of the tale, or watch some sniper films to try to gather what he was painting in words. Tease. Don't leave a girl hanging Hitman.

The Lone Wolf, Jack Howl, broke the comfortable silence with some brotherly banter pinging between them. Ruggie giving us some comedic facial expressions that no doubt were to soothe any left over nerves, but also to dance with his coworker in a game of amusing wit that quickly fed into Jack's answer. These boys make my week of suffering in an office and tending tables worth it I swear.

“It's self-explanatory. Nothing major or profound. No one is brave or stupid enough to approach a wolf, the so-called sharks of the forest. They have always had a bad reputation, like any other predator, so since I left my pack I have always been alone. School, jobs, co-rented apartments…it stuck with me for so long that now it feels like it’s a part of me, and now I can’t really be bothered to change it.”

Wait. Hold the phone on the other calls. Sharks of the forest. Jack, honey, are you trying to make me gush over how cute you are? That is a wonderful comparison, and I'm adopting it for future use in this blog. Hope you don't mind.

Sorry back to the regularly scheduled program.

Jack's words were loaded with truth and honestly I think chatting with him outside the interview room would end rather well if I ever had the chance to. He's probably one of the only Mafia members I'd say hello to if I passed him by in the daylight. He's just ..that guy. His story speaks to one we all know, the parting of home and finding an identity in more than just our appearance and past, though things tend to stick. Don't you agree darlings? We all seem to walk around with preconceived notions about our selves, but how true are they to who we actually are?

Philosophy and self searching aside, his expression changes from one of a war torn man remembering his years in the trenches to one who has found home. And I know before he spoke just who had made that possible. Thank you Miss Wolf, or Mrs. Though he did state he was more traditional. Gonna leave that there, none of my business.

Of course my girlies and men here for the LWC are swooning (my seat neighbor was collapsing with butterflies). And believe me, I am too, I'm just a bit more reserved then that about my feelings in public we aren't talking about the jacket. Jack has and always will be a loyal partner and I wish him and his moon every happiness this dark world has to offer. Yeah cheesy, but I am a romantic. I'm allowed to fawn over lovers! I'm still hunting for my own partner...and their evading me when all I want is to be their problem forever. Too much to ask?

My second question, "Favorite sex position?" was admittedly more of a joke I was throwing out there to make my [redacted] happy. I hadn't been serious in getting answers but tossed it out for their amusement and if they'd throw me a bone or two to knaw on regarding bedroom habits.

I was unsurprised to see Jack struggling with answering, his pride in never backing down and his honor to respect his woman at war within his mind. I was worried about him for a few seconds at seeing the body language of clenched hands and twisted expression thinking something more serious was afoot. I was happy to hear him say, "no comment."

Now some of you have some rather entitled opinions on this as they agreed to answer questions of this nature. I made sure to tell them they had the right to refuse and yes I was serious. That changed their agreement when speaking with me. I don't expect answers darlings. Even if they agree to give them I'd rather a no comment then a clearly pained confession. Mort values consent and I will convince you all it is sexy.

I was surprised to see the attention Ruggie and The King paid to Jack. They seem to have solved matters between them at last and rallied once more as a unit. Good. This week revealed a side of comradery in the aftermath of something that blew through. They truly do lean and depend on each other like brothers. Never have I seen such a tight knit bond, but then again, I walk alone so I don't see much of familial bonds. I'm reminded of The Kings statement about being king and...I hate when he proves himself truthful. Seems he does keep watch rather well as boss, Mort says begrudgingly. Family isn't always who is like you, but who can stand beside you in the cannon fire of life.

Sidebar, watching a journalist get his ass handed to him was brilliant. I can't do that without risking my job as a lowly blogger (though I'm starting to choose violence with a certain one). So kudos to those who played whack-a-mole with the idiot. Though you missed the one I need smacked.

Ruggie answered next, “Mine's a tad odd by name, but I'm sure you know exactly which one I'm talking about. It's called The Caboose, I think. While I sit on the bed or a chair, my partner's back is on my lap and… you can probably guess the rest. I can’t properly see my partner's face during this position, which means fantasizing is easier and can add to the excitement. Or I can just do it in front of a mirror, that works too.”

No Ruggie I don't know what you are talking about... The black and orange site is being used again and I am very pink. Your lucky I like you enough to subject myself to this you naughty Hyena. He thinks I would know, jokes on him the last man who touched me wasn't so generous as all that.

Ruggie seems to be fond of fantasizing which is a powerful modality for some to reach pleasure from what I've been reading. A tease one inflicts on themselves or even their partner if they're more inclined to direct attention. Can you tell I'm out of touch with all of this? No? Okay I guess I do know what he's talking about about in some respects. Though three years of survival with a shark is of a less pleasant vein. If you can pick up what I'm putting down I'm okay. I got out alive. Give or take a few scars.

Once more he has me chuckling at how laid back and easy going he is. I have to wonder if he's a top or bottom. Maybe a switch? I can't tell as my goggles in this area are a bit blurry and I can't always pin preferences. What do you think darlings? Is our Hitman a giver or a taker? Both?

The other's reactions were worth their weight in gold. The King was showing more of that unguarded smile and laughter behind some fingers while Jack was at his wits end with his superior. Either way I was having a blast reading their delight and laughing with them in their genuine amusements. It was nice being able to hear them speak so fondly of each other, of course the familial teasing is always a good sign showing they are close. The banter was rich with the King firing back and Ruggie of course returning the jest by signaling his boss to answer the question.

“Well, unlike you I'm into classics and I like seeing my partner's face, so I say my personal favourite is the Cowgirl. As opposed to common belief, this position requires handing the control of one's pleasure to their partner. It takes lots of trust, and to some others lots of courage, as the one on top delays their partner's climax and intensifies their own. I'm particularly fond of this position because I can see my partner completely above me. Every expression, every curve, every scar or tattoo or birthmark…every single thing in detail.”

Classics huh? Are we talking 'Gone with the Wind'? Not funny? Okay sorry, sexy time.

This answer again is more than it seems. And he does me the honor of doing my homework for me by touching on his little habits I've been gathering in a jar I shake every week to see which one will make another appearance, cause they always do. This is the return of the wanting to be wanted habit, but to afraid to just say it and admit he likes being desired. Yeah I said it for him instead cause it's been five weeks... It's time. Mix this with his desire to have some spice in a partner, his intellectual stimulation interest and that makes this position an oil spill in need of a match to light it up. I'm learning The King is a mastermind in all areas and even his sex life is crafted for his pleasure and entertainmmet. I had a feeling a few weeks ago about this but, I couldn't say so till this post. Though knowing he wants his partner to feel pleasure and take the reins out of his hands to lead is refreshing on a man. I'll give him points for not being a jerk in the bedroom. His redeeming quality folks. Though if his partner gets tired, cause let's be real, riding is hard work, will he help? Or mess with them to get more spice? Points redacted.

Now, as I mention this last part, yes I have seen your edits, posts, videos, emails, smoke signals and other means of alerting the world to what I did...

Sigh.

So let me set my word to record so no false statements and points of view can be indulged cause I have had enough. I see you [redacted].

The King was about to mouth off like he typically does. Leaning in and tongue at the ready with those glinting feline eyes to cut. And yes I caught the dig from his other interview question. If you want praise or appreciation your highness all you have to do is ask for it. Didn't I give you some appreciation in week one you needy... I hadn't expected what came next. I thought he'd say something about me being worthless or an annoyance. Of course said insults covered in sweet honey to make it burn but not... blood.

I watched his face, heard that sound and I reacted. I didn't consider what I was doing cause all I could see was the crimson stain spreading like ricochet across his body far too fast to be nothing or a cruel joke. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped.

I'll admit to being distressed, wouldn't you be? Sitting with someone, chatting away, expecting your weekly banter session that will leave you stewing and suddenly they just...

And it's not the first time I've witnessed something like that, so I did what I wished I had done back then. I moved and did something about it. I simply gave him my suit jacket to compress his wounds and hopefully keep him alive till he could get medical care. Okay fine, I threw it at him with all the rage of a disappointed lover. I'd say mother but he's older I believe.

I admire the Kingscholar's tenacity and perseverance. Their stubbornness a quality I wear just as proudly. But don't risk injury on my account, or anyones. I'm not worth the blood spilled I can assure you of that. Besides, getting on my level like that? What were you thinking King? Better yet what did you have to say that required that movement? I'm waiting for my honey covered lies...

But those of you who took a gander at just who my crush is.... Yeah. And no I'm not squealing and kicking my feet, I'm drinking. Yay.

[Insert "A horrible decision really." Meme]

Now onto my hot seat:

What does my nickname mean to me?

Well Mort is short for Mortality. (Sorry to those who though I was named after the hyper active lemur species in Madagascar) Mortality is a complicated word, but I gave myself the nickname back when I was six. A father dying isn't easy for a little girl to cope with. I lost my pillar of strength, safety and my teacher to build good qualities of what I'd look for in another one day. I lost my mother at fifteen a few years later. There went comfort, a role model and a stable influence to navigate hormones along with a mother's touch. At least I know French and a few other skills she equipped me with. Death follows me. So of course I took up the idea of mortality and claimed it for myself like any normal six year old. No one can see better then when they stare death in the face time and time again through the years and survive. I'm running out of lives. Morbid for a child I know. But I am who I am. Don't like it? The doors over there darlings.

Favorite Sex position?

Well... I've always been curious about the mating press over other positions to try one day. Legs hiked back to the ears darlings, we don't want them to work after I'm told. My hip flexors are screaming at the very thought of this actually happening cause ow. Does one stretch before sex normally? Somebody answer my questions I'm serious. Anyway, what I like about the idea of this position is that it's vulnerable, it's exposed and it's power being given completely over to another to be taken care of and cared for. It's whether or not hands are free or pinned, legs too if your flexible enough to let a man just... It's being contorted for another's pleasure to get the best angle to satisfy and be satisfied in return. It also supposedly scratches a spot for tilted uterus girlies and helps ground us girls who get stuck in their mind palaces if done right. Like the King said, some positions require trust. This is one of those, cause it's surrender for the bottom partner. I know, me surrender? Mort are you sure this is the one? Yes I'm sure. But like a snow ball in hell that it will ever happen. I'll just stick with my written erotica. It's been more satisfying then any sex I've had before, not that one should count [redacted] as sex.

Now my quill... darlings we have a rare moment.

The King has finally gotten a quill and no it's not a pity quill! His honesty with both questions was detailed and enjoyable to expand on and analyze, despite my biased judgement. It only took him five weeks. Better late than never I suppose. That leaves Ruggie and Jack to go after next week's. Though I did say I had two to give... So maybe I'll spoil them as they've spoiled me. I believe Ruggie, our Hitman, got his quill he missed last week. Talk about a clean shot. The playful demeanor and detailed descriptions makes it an easy choice. Sorry Jack, you get the girl, let the boys have the quills okay? Next week will be a clean roster. But who has the most so far?

The King 👑: 1

The Hitman 🍩: 3

The Lone Wolf 🌵: 2

Weeks with no quill given: 1

This is FindingMortality contemplating her decisions. Stay safe out there darlings. It's getting darker.

[Image inserted of letter and ribbon by Mort]

P.s. With the same formalities, I will decline your offer as I am not suited to cheating

#Save Mort #calling a bluff and other things....#Ruggie is a national treasure #Jack is now dubbed honey #you didn't see anything regarding a certain jacket #Mort likes who???!#A certain reporter is gonna get [redacted] if he doesn't back in off #Malleus is waiting in the wings #Morts out for revenge #mafia au #savanaclaw x oc #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl

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sinningtamer · 1 year ago

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Not sure if you’ve answered this before but what are your favourite fics and ships?

Love all your art btw! <3 Thx for all the food!

i might've years ago, so let's go again! i'm gonna answer this question as only NSFW/kink related, otherwise the list would be way too long haha

alright let's start with the obvious: ParviII is and always will be my #1 one ship, even when I dip in and out of the fandom a lot (i feel the term OTP is super outdated these days? but if there was one ship i could use it with it's them...)

so obviously i'm gonna say Talking Body and Payment and Payback by @sparxwrites. because. you know. how can i not. oh yeah, Good Vibrations is also a classic. hiii sparx, i'm sorry for picking your older fics, i just have such a bias. they've written a ton of great stuff over the years though, so go give the account a peak! there's something for everyone, especially if you like darker stuff.

...speaking of accounts with a lot of content who lurk around here, shoutout to @pawpunkao3. lmpᴇarI is one of my favorite ships, and they're still such a rarepair somehow?? anyways I think about Between Bedrock and a Hard Place at least once a week tbh. A New Religion That'll Bring You To Your Knees is fantastic, and i have a soft spot for I Spy (even tho i didn't watch too much empires). again, another author with a whole arsenal under their belt, so don't just take my word for it and check the rest of his fics!

back to lmpᴇarI being a rarepair... @thatstoomuchsoup has Chicken Soup for the Soulbounds (okay it's more pearI-centric but they're both there) and is another blog that specializes in some of my kinks and these fandoms. same with @anon-teddy's content, gotta give a shoutout to full. this is also making me realize i haven't sought out enough poly S0up Group or GᴇmpuIse/PᴇarIgem fics...maybe i'll get back to you on that...

there's a bunch of good explicit trᴇᴇbark fics, but i said i was gonna keep this list concise, so the only one i'll specifically point to is how to deal with your supernatural lust for blood (and other things) in a completely normal and god-honoring fashion. for...reasons. also because it's good!

edit: oh my GOD i realized two seconds after posting this i completely forget to mention @also-an-art. go read (this is) hungry work and honey don't feed it right fucking now. i've read both of these in full (pun intended) multiple times they're that amazing. it's rare that the plot is just as good as the horniness, when i tell you i lost my mind at some of the development in these. also hot and dirty (like the la air) is a guilty pleasure. AND it introduced me to a song that ended up being #20 on my spotify wrapped LOL (RPF warning on that one! trust me tho)

let's get to my other bias, shall we? RᴛSpiff and RᴛS00t don't....have any explicit fics. nor does poly lᴀds. CMRᴛ does, though! I'm kinda picky about how people characterize them, but play it cool and Every Stumble and Each Misfire are lovely (note that the second one is also blatant RPF! don't say i didn't warn you o7)

speaking of lᴀds, if you follow me on main, you know i got into Bᴀnᴀna Bᴜs Sqᴜᴀd just last year (I'M SORRY, OKAY, DON'T @ ME-) you'd think getting into an old fandom late would mean a ton of great smut fics, right? to be honest, i haven't found many that i care for, but maybe i'm just picky... however, i remember your lips, they're the ones i miss, and smoke in your lungs, your lips on mine are SO GODDAMN GOOD i'm not even mad it's only those two i like because i could reread them 20 times. god. such fun characterization. shame the author orphaned them because i badly wanna read more of their stuff.

this is the part where you go, spirit, do you read anything besides (mᴄ)yt fandoms??? and i go, not really.............well, sort of. i like 0verwatch! and M0icy!! Reciprocity is a delightful PWP long fic. i'm also not really an omegaverse guy, but Water Me has such a good take on it i fell in looove.

okay, i'm gonna cut myself off here, enough though i could probably name dozens of more fics if i sat and thought about it. if anyone i tagged wants to be untagged, feel free to reply here or shoot me an ask/dm!!

#i like how i said i was gonna keep this short and still went insane lmao #also dont forget to read the notes/cws of any fics i linked! it's up to you to decide if you're comfortable reading them

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parksprout · 6 months ago

Text

Sprout Journal 11/16/24-11/17/24

Hey Tumblr! It's been another couple of days since I wrote an actual journal entry, so this'll be another one of those two for one sorta deals. I meant to write another entry yesterday, but truthfully that vent post encapsulated almost everything I was thinking for the past several days and I opted to live in the catharsis of not having much else on my mind for the day. I got a lot of my stress out about my situation in that post, but it was also exhausting! I'm gonna talk a little bit more about this at the end, though. Save those who might not want to hear about my (lack of) love life the trouble.

I'll get into two days ago first! So honestly I can barely remember my work day. I spent a lot of it tweaking out. I was not feeling very good mentally, and it showed. Frankly I don't wanna dwell on it too much, it was work and it was a bad day at work, that's really it. The evening got soooo much better anyways!! I had my first DnD session in a few weeks, and god I needed it so badly. I don't feel like typing out everything that happened in the session right now considering I already need to write a recap for my players and that just feels like homework twice, BUT I WILL SAY that it was almost exclusively improv on my part and I was extremely proud of how I performed. There is one player of mine who seems to be way more interested in the combat aspect of the game than in the actual roleplay portions, so I struggled a bit to make it interesting for him, but besides that it was a very roleplay and character heavy session that everyone did very well in.

Yesterday, the 17th, was a pretty good day overall actually. I started off morning by writing out a very long vent post that... was basically self therapy. Work was busy, my coworkers were all present and we shared a lot of laughs - I don't like a couple of them, but the ones that I get along really well with were also there so... it ended up being a pretty good day. After I got home from work I ended up doing some homework, hitting up the gym and then calling my friend Sammy for a couple of hours to play some video games. Honestly? Without him right now? I don't think I'd be okay. I

I know that this was kinda a lack luster journal, but I'm not that interested in writing at the moment! I have a bit of a headache. I'm gonna do the usual thing here and include another section below this picture where I talk about my feelings about The Bnuuy. That's what these journals were originally about and what purpose they serve, after all, is to say things that I'm feeling about the breakup

I was proud of myself yesterday. After I wrote my vent post I kinda just... breathed for a bit. I re-read my thoughts maybe five or six times and dwelt on every line, thought about what I feel and... how best to continue to heal from this. I actually read a large amount of it to my friend last night when I called him. Sometimes? I struggle sharing my emotions with other people. Aaron was the only person I ever really felt okay speaking my whole truth to, so... it was foreign getting into the details of how I feel with somebody else.

I told my friend a few things in particular. The first being how close I came to asking Aaron out a few days ago... he was at first appalled, he asked "did you actually say anything to them???" with this incredulous tone that made me laugh. After I reassured him that no, all I did was write this fuck-ass journal about it, say "Hey Aaron? Do you know you're pretty?" like a tool and then cry at work, he was oddly proud of me. I struggle a lot with self control, especially when it comes to emotional expression. It takes a lot of reigning in to keep myself from saying what I want to, from expressing my true intentions, from making situations worse through my blunt honesty. He knows I wanted to reach my hand out to The Bnuuy so badly, but that I held myself back; that's why he was proud. Sammy is a huge advocate for culling hope. He's a realist, an engineering major who genuinely enjoys the mathematics of the world and believes that there is a calculus behind human actions. One Park + One Aaron ≠ Able To Date Right Now. Or at least... that's what I thought he'd say. I read off that post and... I think it unlocked a new understanding of me as a person to Sammy, which is hard to think about haha. He's known me for a decade but he's still less familiar with my inner workings than my partner of three years? That's... crazy. Anyways I'm going on a tangent.

Sammy told me that... while he may not understand exactly how my heart works, and he can't gauge Aaron's any better, but he did tell me that he's never seen me like this before. He told me that he's watched me grow since I met this person and that they really do seem like the right one for my heart.. but he also warned me that I'm being impatient, too. He lambasted me for a while about how I shouldn't be asking them out any time soon, but he did agree that it's probably my responsibility to be the one to try in the future. He told me that I am a fun person with hobbies, interests, humor, that I'm pretty and definitely worth dating... but I'm not going to be able to convince Aaron of that while still healing from the breakup. I asked him if I should try again someday, and he told me that, and I quote, "if you became the kind of person to give up on someone after one try and failure, you'd stop being the person I know. I don't want to lose the person that I know, so be honest with yourself about being in love and show them that you can be the best fucking friend possible first. Then, see if you can be something more, but better than you were. Don't get broken up with again because you aren't their friend first" and then he called me a slur lol. We also talked about the future. I told Sammy that no matter what, I think I want to live out west. He told me that he knows that it's always been my dream to live somewhere out there - even before Aaron I wanted to move to Washington or Oregon - so he would respect my decision if I left. He might even follow me someday. He also told me to say hi to Aaron because he knows that I talk to him every day still. He said to say some other stuff too, but it made me too sad to type it to Aaron alksjdfhksdjf Sammy said that we better get past this and get back into a serious relationship so he has an excuse to come visit with me, he wants to go traveling. I hope that can happen someday, I would love for my platonic best friend and my other (<3) best friend to meet. Anyways that's all, this is super rambly and weird because I am literally walking around campus writing this section (the rest was in a draft alsdkjfasdfdsf) SO GOODBYE TUMBLR!! I LOVE YOU!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY TUMBLR!!! BYE!!! BAI!!! BYEE!!!

#sproutposting #sproutjournals #journalpostingomg #journaling??#in the tumblr striahgt up writing it #and by it...#lets just say...#my journal #<3 baiiiiii #11/16/24 #11/17/24

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rebelwith0utacause · 2 years ago

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Lake Bohinj, Slovenia 💚

4/15/23

#lake bohinj #slovenia #my photography #it finally went through damn it #anyway; just got back a week ago and i wanna be here so badly #also; a fun fact if you will; this place was the inspo for one of my wips that will never get finished

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kazewhara · 3 years ago

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summer rain.

part one here.

# — pairing: kazuha x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha, beidou, xinyan (mentioned)

# — warnings: n/a

# — tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, confessions, reader's got a guilty conscience, beidou's protective over kazuha (as she should)

# — notes: here's the official apology for i like u! i'm gonna go straight to sleep after i post this, heheh. reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!

wanna join the tag list?

✧ — 🍁 — ✧

so kazuha's been ignoring you.

which, okay, you admit, is probably something you deserve. you knew this whole "friends with benefits" thing was a bad idea from the get-go. you don't know why you didn't just stop after the first night. actually, no. you're lying. you know exactly why you didn't stop, and the answer is simple: it's because of kazuha.

you want to put the blame on kazuha. oh, you so badly want to drag him under the bus with you. after all, it's his fault you're like this, no? who told him to be so perfect? who told him to worm his way under your skin and straight to your heart faster than anyone ever has before? did you ask him to make you fall in love with him? no! no, you did not!

you just wanted to fall in love quietly and love him from afar, but no, kazuha wouldn't let you. he just had to be so gentle with you, didn't he? of course he had to touch you like you were the most delicate being in the world. of course he had to speak to you so tenderly; he just had to treat you like you were the most important person in his life, didn't he? this whole situation is his fault just as much as it is yours!

you prop your chin on your hand as you look out the classroom window and sigh. as badly as you want to blame him, you know you can't. this is all your fault.

it doesn't help that beidou and her cronies were making you pay for it, either. beidou's a nice person -- really, she is -- but ever since the day kazuha just up and walked out on you, she's been going out of her way to make you feel guilty for what you've done.

she chewed you out via text message (which you haven't deleted yet -- are you some kind of masochist?), berated you in person, and shoots you the nastiest glares every time she sees you. at this point, you can feel her presence before you actually see her. her gang of friends give you glares too -- and they're everywhere. there's no escaping this.

you peek down at your phone beneath your desk and skim the messages beidou sent you.

[beidou]: don't even give me that "i love him back" shit either.

[beidou]: because if you really loved kazuha, if you really, REALLY loved him, you wouldn't have suggested something like this.

[beidou]: he CRIED. over YOU. and you and i both know that kazuha NEVER fucking cries.

your eyes begin to well up with tears. you keep reading anyway.

[beidou]: kazuha's been distraught for WEEKS and you haven't made any attempt to actually fix this. i saw you reach out to him and then you just stop? what the hell?

[beidou]: look, i can't tell you to stay away from him. it's been hard enough keeping him from breaking his silence and contacting you as is. he loves you so, so goddamn much that it literally makes me sick.

[beidou]: why did you do it? what was the point in this? if you do love him back, why did you start this?

she sent you that a few days ago. you never answered. you have an answer to her question, though. why did you start sleeping with kazuha?

well, because you're an addict. that's the short and long of it, anyways. you grew so addicted to kazuha that you couldn't stop yourself from taking that final step, from crossing that line. but as soon as you did -- as soon as you pulled him into your arms after that first night, you felt a cavern open up in your stomach. you went too far.

that night, you buried your nose in kazuha's hair and cried. you hated yourself -- you still do, even now -- for being so impatient, so greedy for kazuha's affection that you would sleep with him without telling him how you felt. you thought that if you told him, he would belittle you for being so disgusting, for stooping so low just to get what you want from him.

but... he didn't. he never did. turns out, he just... loved you with all he had. and all you did was take. you took, and took, and took, and now look where that got you.

you sniff and tuck your phone away, pressing the heel of your palms against your eyes. you're in class right now -- you shouldn't be thinking about this whole ordeal right now, but you can't help it. it's right about now when you would text kazuha to hang out to help escape your problems (he's your escape, your own little hideaway), but you can't do that anymore, can you?

you hear a sharp call of your name from the front of the classroom. "are you alright?" your professor asks. "are you in pain? should i call someone?"

shit. you made it too obvious. well, you figure, you may as well use this chance to leave. you pack your stuff. "i'll be fine," you lie, "but i'll just go rest. i'm sorry for disturbing the class." you don't even wait for your professor's response -- you speed walk out of there as fast as you can with your heart resting in shattered pieces in your hands.

----

you decide that the only way to escape your problems is by partying. (you're aware that it's a bad idea, but you don't know what else to do.)

xinyan's throwing a party at her house -- it's more of an after-party since she had a performance earlier in the day. you'd go up to her and say that you loved it, but you didn't go. maybe next time. for now, you bask in the heavy bass of the music, the loud chattering of the partygoers, the smell of weed smoke and alcohol that floats in the air.

it's mind-numbing. good.

the air does get a bit stifling, so you head up the stairs and into a bedroom that you remember has a balcony. fortunately, the room is empty, as is the balcony. you head out and lean on the marble railing with a sigh. there's enough alcohol in your system to give you some peace of mind, but clearly, it's not enough. you're still thinking about it.

you close your eyes and take a deep breath. it smells like summer rain.

"come on, it's not gonna kill you!"

kazuha eyed you warily from inside the building. "i'd rather not get myself wet." he called from his spot. "can't you just come inside? why don't we watch a movie instead?"

you huffed. it was the first thunderstorm of the summer and the hiss of the rain on the pavement was too enticing for you to ignore. you ran outside your dorm in flip-flips, shorts and a t-shirt and let the cool droplets soak the stubborn heat off your skin. it smelled heavenly and it was too relaxing to enjoy alone, so you tried to get kazuha out here, but...

kazuha waved for you to come indoors. he didn't like the idea at all -- probably because of his hair. you already agreed to help him with it when you went inside later, but he still refused.

you marched over to him and put your hands on your hips. "you're being a total killjoy right now, y'know."

kazuha blinked at you. there was something shimmering in his eyes. you thought it was the reflection of the rain. "i don't mean to be," he said. "also i don't want to have to change my clothes. it's an unnecessary hassle."

"you're an unnecessary hassle." you muttered.

"you wound me, little bird." kazuha placed his hand over his heart.

he opened his mouth to say something else but you grabbed his wrist and tugged him out into the rain with you before he could. kazuha made a sharp noise of surprise and quickly dug into his pocket to toss his phone in the building. "i can't believe you." he called over the downpour.

you only grinned at him. "it isn't all that bad, c'mon. doesn't it feel nice?"

kazuha narrowed his eyes at you and pushed his now wet hair off of his forehead. it was your turn to blink at him. "i won't give you the satisfaction of saying yes."

your brain stalled for a moment, but you did your best to make it work again. "you know how... oh, oh! y'know how people dance in the rain? let's do that!"

kazuha, still unamused, raised an eyebrow at you. "to what music, exactly?"

you feel giddy. that wasn't a no! "i dunno... what was that song you were singing to yourself the other day?"

you thought you saw kazuha flinch. his cheeks started to redden -- just a little. he turned his eyes elsewhere. "that's a rather slow song," he informed. "unless you're suggesting that we--"

again, you shut kazuha up by tugging him close to you. you were pressed chest to chest like this, his hands in yours. kazuha's lips parted ever so slightly in a silent gasp. you couldn't help but look at them for a moment. "start singing, kazu', c'mon." you murmured.

kazuha was quiet for a little while, his eyes never leaving your face before he cleared his throat. "alright, then..."

and there in the rain you two swayed, with kazuha's hands firmly on your waist. you couldn't help but smile the entire time, but the lyrics made you look at him a few times. each time, kazuha looked back at you for no longer than a few seconds before he would look away, his ears growing redder by the second. it was like he was singing to you -- about you. but that couldn't have been right.

when he finished, you sighed, content. "we can go inside now," you beamed at him, "thanks for dancing with me, kazuha."

kazuha stared at you for a second before his gaze dropped to your lips. you swallowed nervously. he's never been good at hiding that. "before we go inside," he murmured, "just one more thing."

he took your face in his hands and leaned in close, close enough to brush his lips on yours. panicking, you commented, "isn't this kinda like the notebook?"

kazuha laughed, the sound light and full of amusement. he kissed you sweetly before you could say anything else, his thumb brushing over your cheek.

when you parted, he chuckled at the dazed look on your face. "just like the notebook." he said against your lips before pulling you back in for another kiss.

you giggle at the memory the scent brings you. kazuha mentioned that he didn't want to catch a cold, yet he was the first of the two of you to get sick. he forced you to take care of him out of spite, which caused you to get sick. he called it karma, but stayed by your side regardless.

as fond as your memories with kazuha may be, you feel your heart twisting and yanking in every which direction. god, you miss him. just as the tears start to flow, you hear the door to the balcony open behind you and an all-too familiar voice speak.

"is it alright if i join you?" he asks.

your back goes ramrod straight. it's kazuha. your throat closes on you suddenly, making you cough.

"oh, i'm sorry." his voice is so soft. always so soft. so gentle. "i didn't mean to startle you. i just--"

"needed to get away for a bit?" you finish his sentence. you wish you could see his face. what does he look like right now? horrified? repulsed? "yeah, me too." you sigh.

kazuha's silent. he's so quiet that, for a moment, you wonder if he just turned around and left. but he surprises you; you hear footsteps come up beside you and in your peripheral, you see kazuha lean on the rail as well. you can't bring yourself to look at him.

"how... have you been?" kazuha is the first to speak. you almost flinch at the sound of his voice. "it's been a while."

nearly a month, you almost scream. it's nearly been a fucking month. you swallow back the torrent of words that rushes to your lips. you're in no position to dump your emotions on him anymore. it's a miracle he's even here -- don't scare him off.

"i've been getting by." your reply comes out with far more ease than you were expecting. "..you?"

a stupid question, but kazuha still nods in the corner of your eye. "me too."

then, silence. a painful, suffocating silence. you still feel a dampness on your cheeks. quickly, you swipe them away with a sniff. you miss the way kazuha turns to face you.

what now? what are you supposed to say to him? why is he even still here? he should hate you, should be staying miles and miles away from you! you didn't think it possible, but your heart breaks more upon hearing that kazuha's just been "getting by". he doesn't deserve that -- he should be thriving without you. without you, he should feel so much lighter and yet, beidou's messages flash through your mind. kazuha's been miserable without you.

miserable with you, miserable without you. either way, the common denominator is you. you feel the need to hide yourself from view.

the silence stretches on and on for what feels like an eternity before you finally crumble, your remains laying at kazuha's feet. "i'm sorry." your voice is so tiny.

"what--?"

"i know sorry doesn't cut it. god, i know sorry can never fix any of the pain i caused you, but i don't know what else to say, kazuha, i--" you inhale sharply. the words keep coming and you don't know how to stop them. you lay yourself bare before him, every part of you reflecting in the moonlight. "i know that what we had was... i-it was a terrible fucking idea, i just-- i don't know how to explain it without sounding too pathetic, but--"

kazuha calls your name softly. "you're not--"

you don't let him finish. "i guess i just... i wanted you to myself." you laugh derisively at yourself. "a stupid fucking idea, i know, i know -- you're not some item and you don't belong to me, i know. i just-- i-i just..."

kazuha's hand comes to rest on your shoulder. you don't realize that you're shaking until he squeezes you. again, he tries calling your name. "listen to me, please." he pleads with you. you don't hear him and continue to chatter, but he squeezes you again, making you look at him. he looks so desperate, so pained by your words that you feel a lump form in your throat.

"kazuha, i--"

"all i ever wanted to hear," he says, the shadow of a smile ghosting over his lips, "was for you to say 'i love you' and mean it. i held out hope for the past three weeks because... well, because i know you." his hand moves from your shoulder to your hand. "i think i have the fortune of knowing you better than anyone else."

you shake your head and start to retort, but he cuts you off.

"i think you felt just as trapped by that arrangement as i did. am i wrong?" when you nod, kazuha squeezes your hand gently. he's so warm. always warm. "i figured as much."

"it's just... by the time i realized what i'd done, i knew it was too late for me to confess." you finally manage a proper sentence. "kazuha, all i ever wanted was for you to know how i felt-- it was never supposed to go on for so long, i-i never meant to hurt you like that."

"it hurt, yes." kazuha confirms. "for three years, it hurt. i thought that... i always thought that you felt the same, but deep down, i... thought that maybe you didn't; that you were using me."

you feel the blood leave your face. "i would never, kazuha, i--"

kazuha nods. "i know. pessimism aside, i... i know. i knew you wouldn't." he taps your forehead with two fingers -- a playful gesture he often does when you're being obtuse. "did you forget that i know you like the back of my hand?"

you press your lips together as you remember beidou's words. "but you cried, kazuha. i made you cry. why do you sound like you forgive me? you shouldn't forgive me so easily, not when i-- i don't deserve--"

"you do." kazuha's voice is firm and his eyes are serious. "if you didn't feel any regret, then maybe my answer would change. but you do. better yet, you love me back. don't you?"

"of course i do!"

you gasp when kazuha leans in close, his lips brushing yours. it's a feeling that's so familiar, yet so foreign to you. it sends electricity rocketing through your body from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. "then say it. indulge me, little bird. do you love me?" he whispers against your mouth.

you shiver and shut your eyes. "more than anything. god, you don't understand, i--"

kazuha presses his lips to yours quickly. "tell me. please." his words are coated with a hint of desperation.

"i love you." finally, finally those words leave your body. you pour your all into your declaration, and you hope kazuha picks up on it. "i love you so, so much kazuha. i'm so sorry."

"again," kazuha says. he kisses you slowly this time. "say it again."

you oblige him. "i love you."

another kiss, even slower. "again."

"love you, kazuha," you breathe into his mouth, "love you so much."

kazuha hums into the next kiss, the sound pleased. when he pulls away, he rests his forehead on yours. "that's all i ever needed to hear, little bird."

"i'll say it as many times as i need to," you whisper. "however long it takes for you to believe me."

kazuha kisses your forehead and you can feel his smile. "i believe you just fine," he says, "though i wouldn't mind hearing it again."

you know he's joking, but you say it again, very, very seriously. "i love you so much," you whisper. you sound fragile -- raw. your emotions are so visible, thrown out everywhere for the world -- for kazuha -- to see.

he accepts every word, every syllable that comes out of your mouth. he pulls you into his arms tightly and rests his head on your shoulder. you squeeze him just as tight and take a shaky breath. he, too, smells like the summer rain.

"i love you too," he finally says into your shoulder. "more than there are stars in the sky.

there may not be any rain to wash away your worries, but kazuha's embrace cleanses them all the same. and as the party rages on in the floor below, kazuha begins to sway you two side to side, humming a quiet tune for only you to hear.

✦ i feel good ... yeah, i feel nice abt this one. couldn't not write this... though i am a lil worried that the ending is rushed 🧍🏽 i do hope you liked it all the same! time for bed, it's 1 am

#z scribbles #genshin impact x reader #genshin kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #genshin kazuha #unsurprisingly there's kisses involved

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your-daily-biaswrecking · 4 years ago

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I wanna say that namjoons dad bestfriend drabble was so freaking hot….🥵🥵🥵 maybe part 2? 🙏 when they make out in family house of yn? And her dad is next room 👀 i am so dirty pls forgive me😂

can't believe it took me so long to answer this... okay, so, my requests are not open but i decided to clear up my inbox a bit, starting with this one. as for this part 2... i know it could have been just a short scene with pure smut, but i wanted the drama of the plot, okay? also i'm not doing another psa: this is wrong and pls don't do this, it's just fiction

part 1

Namjoon knew he had to stop this. This... Whatever it was the two of you had. He had found excuses to come see you multiple times throughout the winter, always missing you too much and being unable to stay away for too long. But when you surprised him, secretly coming back to your hometown to be with just him for a week, he wasn't as happy. It was the first reminder of how different your worlds were; he was a grown man minding his career, at an age where he should be seeking marriage and kids. And you? You were skipping school to see your crush.

"I think my daughter has a boyfriend," his best friend casually told him one day soon after that. Namjoon froze, his heart the only thing reacting to those words. But his friend went on nonchalantly, pointing to his ignorance. "I don't mind, of course. I've only told her one thing, and it's not to get pregnant. I don't want her to go through what her mother and I went through, you know? She's at this age... you know? She needs to enjoy her age."

Namjoon... The grown man who should be seeking marriage and kids was fucking this girl. All those times he came inside you, filling you up a little too aggressively– as if deep down he wished he'd knock you up and keep you to himself forever.

He had to end this.

When he told you those same words –you need to enjoy your age, you need to be with a peer– you seemed more mad than hurt. But perhaps you understood. You weren't stupid, you too knew this was wrong. Perhaps you were just waiting for it to happen, waiting for the excitement of doing something against the rules to die out and the realization of the responsibility to hit him. You didn't blame him. But you were still annoyed. Stopped talking altogether, the only news he got from you now came from your father. You did get a boyfriend, or so he was told. And you were doing well with your studies and you were generally living a great student's life.

Summertime and you were here again. Along with your so-called boyfriend. Namjoon was so pissed off when he saw the skinny, mussy, sweaty boy that seemed to either be very slow or high off his ass all the time. And you seemed pleased with yourself.

"You really had to bring him here?"

You chuckled– an evil laugh, he thought. "I thought you'd be happy to see me dating someone my age." When your eyes met his, you made him feel like your positions were switched. So confident while he was almost throwing a tantrum. "What about you?" you asked. "Dating anyone your age?"

On that topic, Namjoon had more than enough women showing interest. And your father, for some reason, was dead set on finding him a wife. All those blind dates he had to escape from! He was simply not interested. He didn't want to admit it was because he was still thinking about you; that no one else would ever be a good replacement for you. He didn't want to because he didn't plan on coming back to you; he had to be the adult, the mature one, and stay away. It was the logical and the right thing to do. He didn't want to admit that, despite all of his intelligence and reason, he still thought about you... Because if he did this would no longer be just some attraction, just some fucking around. If he admitted it was more, what would happen then?

No... this was good. You had already moved on. Enjoying your life the way you were supposed to, a life he had no room to be in. All he had to do now was follow your example.

"Namjoon..."

That text was sent past 2 am on a rainy night in October. The only text he had gotten from you in months. That was all it said yet it made his stomach tight as if you had moaned his name in his ear. As if he knew exactly why you had texted him; needy in the middle of the night, that measly boy surely unable to satisfy you, knowing exactly who could help you at that moment. Fuck... Perhaps if he replied right then things would go back to how they were a year ago. He didn't. And you didn't text him again.

"Joon! You are staying for the holidays, right? You should spend Christmas with us." Your father was more than happy to share that day meant to be with family, with his best friend. Namjoon was like family anyway, wasn't he? When he tried to come up with an excuse, the other insisted. "See? If you were married now you would have someone to spend Christmas with, but you're not, so you'll come to spend it with our family. My daughter's coming home tomorrow, too. Ah. Could you pick her up 'cause–"

"No. I can't. Too busy."

The man laughed. "It's okay. But I am expecting you for dinner on Christmas!" he said with a pointing finger. "I'm not taking no for an answer."

And so there he was. Sitting right across from you at the table. In the months that had passed, you had gained some weight and he thought you had never looked better. Your face a little fuller, your jeans straining against your round thighs and hips, your breasts fitting your curves just right. The body of a grown woman. All Namjoon could think about was feeling you against him again. And he was mad again... Did your stupid boyfriend have the chance to fuck you like that? He didn't deserve you.

"You didn't bring that boy with you this time..." he commented.

"What, Eric?" your mother answered for you. "They broke up."

Namjoon raised an eyebrow, eyes never leaving yours. "Really? How come?"

The corner of your lips turned upwards. "He was just... Too much of a kid."

He hated the way he sighed in relief, the way excitement bubbled in his stomach. He shouldn't be as happy to hear that as he was... He glanced at you again, your hair that had grown longer pushed back to expose your neck. It was getting harder and harder for Namjoon to keep his mind from wandering off to inappropriate things. Along with other parts getting hard.

And then your father spoke. "Joon. You know she's graduating next month, right?" His eyebrows shot up high on his forehead because no– no, he didn't know that. "She's looking for an internship and I thought–"

"Dad..."

"–you could help her get in your company? Maybe you could put in a good word for her?"

"Dad!" Your tone and the way your eyes widened towards your father's way betrayed the fact that the topic hadn't been new, and that you were clearly against the idea.

He looked at you until you finally turned back to face him. And surprising both himself and you, he said: "Yes, of course."

"I'm going to sleep," you announced after the dinner was over and you had helped clean up the table. You gave Namjoon a long glance before you disappeared down the hallway. Your parents had moved to the couch, TV on for some music and a game of cards keeping them busy when their friend asked to go to the bathroom. And you heard a soft knock on your door. "I'm assuming you know that's the wrong door you're knocking at," you spoke before you opened. Already in your sleeping outfit that consisted of an oversized t-shirt and just your panties.

"You knew it was me?" Namjoon whispered, eyes still stuck on your thighs.

"My parents don't knock."

You let him in, closing the door behind you and leaning on it as you looked up at him through your lashes. You both stayed silent for a moment, your breaths the only thing filling the empty, badly lit room. You noticed how he wet his plump lips and bit them while he was examining your face. So close you could smell his aroma, the one you never forgot.

“You don’t have to… you know,” you spoke, referring to your father’s idea. “I know you want to avoid me.”

Namjoon exhaled from his nose as if he was annoyed. “I- It’s not that I want to…”

“I know.” You gulped, finding your mouth wetting too much at the wish of kissing him, along with other parts getting wet. “You don’t want to— you have to.” You dared place your hands on his chest, and instead of pulling away, he leaned into your touch. Feeling his heart beat fast under your fingertips like the way he was breathing. He was slowly losing his mind but he knew he wasn’t the only one. “You don’t have to push me away,” you continued in a low tone. “I know what I’m doing. I’m the one coming to you.”

“Little one…” he rasped, and it had you catching a moan in the back of your throat. Oh, how you longed for his pet names, his voice calling to you lovingly. He stepped even closer. He knew he shouldn’t be there, he shouldn’t be doing this right now… But how could he stop? He wanted you so bad. His hands cupped your cheeks, lips just a breath away from yours, brushing against you as he whispered: “Come work with me… I wanna see you every day.”

The fabric of his shirt pooled in your palms as you grabbed him, closing the tiny gap between you. Both of you sighing in a mixture of relief and impatience as your lips crushed together. The softness only lasted a few seconds before you were moaning and Namjoon was pinning you on the door, deepening the kiss by slipping his tongue in like he was trying to devour you. Your arms wrapped around him while his hands traveled down your body, groping you like you were his stress relief toy. Your hips, your ass… He broke the kiss and buried his face in your neck.

“Ah- daddy,” you whined, grinding on him.

Namjoon felt like he was about to cry. “I missed you so much!” he choked out right before latching his teeth on your skin. Your naughty fingers were struggling to unzip his pants quickly and it made him chuckle instead of sob. “Fuck—” he growled. And he pulled back to stare at you with dark eyes. “Such a little slut, so desperate for my cock.” There he was; the Namjoon you knew so well. His words made you shiver.

“Please, daddy. I need you right now.”

He placed a hand on the door right next to your head, while he freed his dick with the other. “Your parents are right outside.”

Ignoring his words, you discarded your panties and took him in your hand, biting your lip. “I can’t wait any longer, need you to fuck me right now, plea-ase!” you whined a little too loud and Namjoon growled, grabbing your legs and lifting you until you straddled his waist, back on the door.

“Gosh, you’ll get daddy in big trouble, baby.” Tip of his cock brushing your wet folds, making your mouth drop. “They might come looking for me.”

“Quick,” you sobbed. “Be quick, please, just— ah!”

He slipped inside and you both gasped. Your legs were shaking at the feeling, eyes rolling back and a moan as quiet as you could manage rumbled through your neck. He got as deep as he could, face scrunching as if he was in pain. You kissed him.

“I’ve missed you, daddy. I’ve missed this so much.”

His head was spinning as he was trying to find the right words, the words that could describe exactly how he felt about you. “I- I-”

Laughter echoed through the house— your mother. You both froze. Namjoon glanced at the doorknob, and then he grabbed it; your parents could walk in at any moment. He didn’t stop though, nothing could stop him now. He angled his hips and started thrusting into you; fast and sloppy because the clock was ticking.

“Daddy…” you mewled, unable to do or say anything else.

Namjoon clasped a hand over your mouth. “Shh,” he demanded. “You better not start screaming like the little whore you are, or they’ll hear us.”

His words had the opposite effect of what he wanted; making you moan harder. And the fact that he had his big hand over your mouth made you not care to keep quiet. Your choked whines along with the wet sounds of his dick slipping in and out of you could definitely be heard from the other side of the door, perhaps even from that couch your father was on had it not been for the music.

“Shit, you—” he growled. He finally dropped his hand from your mouth, wanting to grab your ass to lift you higher, fuck you better.

Your head fell on his shoulder before you decided to bite down on it to stop yourself from screaming as Namjoon’s thick dick drilled into you with no mercy. “So-o good…”

“Yeah?” He sounded out of breath already, yet cocky. “Did you forget what it’s like to have a real man fuck your pussy, baby? That little boy didn’t do shit, did he? He can’t fuck you as good as daddy, right?”

Your nails dug in his back and you felt your brain so rotten like he was about to fuck you to sleep. “I… don’t know…” you mumbled.

Namjoon stopped. He pulled his head slightly back but he couldn’t see your face. “What?” Your body squirmed, trying to chase that high he had just denied you. “What do you mean—”

“I don’t know what he was like,” you whined. “I only thought of you.”

Another laughter, loud voices coming from that couch. It didn’t scare him that much this time, his heart was already racing and he only gave that direction a glance before he was pulling your head back to look into your eyes. Only then did he notice the tear stains on your cheeks, and you sobbed, choked as he thrust into you again.

“I only thought of you, daddy…” you repeated with a whimper. And it had his eyes rolling to the back of his head, pumping into you a couple more times, hard, before he spilled his seed deep inside.

A whisper. “Fuck…” Panting and groaning as he was trying to come to, and you watching his glistening face as he grimaced and bit his lip. He let you down, resting his forehead on the door while he still struggled to collect himself, and you basked in the pride it gave you. You tucked him back in his underwear and zipped him up with a smirk on your lips, seeing how he finally started to be able to focus his eyes on you.

You opened the door slightly and peeked out; your parents were still playing cards on the couch, they didn’t notice you just like they probably hadn’t noticed how long Namjoon was gone for.

“You should go back,” you whispered as you came back into the room. Namjoon kissed you quickly like he was trying to catch you off guard. And then he grabbed your chin, staring down at you, breaths still coming out too hard.

“Don’t fall asleep, baby. I’ll come back to finish what I started when your father goes to bed.”

You smiled, pushing him slightly back yet he wasn’t budging. “Go…” you prompted as you started feeling his cum sipping out of your cunt and slowly running down your thighs.

Namjoon smiled too. “Really. I’ll eat you out till you pass out, baby, I promise.”

In the dark of the room and the rush of the moment, you decided you had no reason not to let your thoughts slip out. “I wish you could just come to sleep in my arms.”

He got a little serious. And he kissed you again, slower than before. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He left through that door, meeting your parents that were happy to see him yet didn’t even bother to point out his long absence. Sitting next to his best friend while his breathing was still shaky from fucking his daughter.

Shit… That girl will get him in so much trouble…

Masterlist

#bts #bangtan #namjoon #rm #kim namjoon #request #drabble #fanfic #oneshot #smut #dilf namjoon #bts drabble #bts smut #namjoon drabble #namjoon smut #namjoon one shot #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #kkklaudiaaa17

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sparkysparklightning · 3 years ago

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Okay listen

Yes this is the “longass post” I mentioned in my previous Tratie HoO post hgjkfsh I decided to publish it and see what y’alls think!

Anyway, I saw this post, like...a week ago?? And all of a sudden, everything related to the HoO series that I’ve held back just came charging full-force. So I’m here to grace y’alls with my ideas and thoughts about HoO.

Honestly, if I talked abt everything that went off-kilter in that series, we’d be here all day, so I’ll just stick to the mere basic point that was also the basis of my HoO conceptual rewrite idea, and that point is...

Percabeth shouldn’t have been a part of the Seven.

Yeah yeah, half of you guys must be throwing stones at me, the other half is probably nodding in agreement. But seriously, Percabeth already had their time to shine--they had an entire five hecking books, they ( and their characterizations ) definitely do not need another five more, yeesh! I love Percy and all, but pls, five more books in which his and Annabeth’s and their relationship’s character were diminished? Yeah, no thanks.

I love Percabeth, but in HoO, they became so...bland??? Idk how to properly explain it, but I didn’t like what happened to their character arcs at all lmaoo

But then, I got an idea: what if, instead of Percabeth, it was TRATIE who was a part of the Seven, instead?

Now this idea was inspired both from the post mentioned above plus another post that talked abt Tratie as a part of the Seven in a bit more detail, which I cannot find no matter how many times I scoured the rr-crit tag ( smh, if anyone else knows of this post, pls lmk and link it, I’m sorry 😭 )

And yeah, I know a lot of ppl have been hopping on the ‘Nico & Reyna as part of the Seven’ train when it comes to making HoO rewrites, but see, hear me out, just think about the potential of Travis Stoll and Katie Gardner--two children of minor gods--getting their spotlight in a series of their own ( plus more indirect spotlight on the minor gods in question ) plus a slowburn ( kinda ) relationship?? Heck, I already have some ideas for this, that I’ll jot down below the cut along with some conceptual ideas about the rewrite. If any of y’alls end up reading this whole post, can you...just, idk, lmk whether it’s a solid plan and if I should actually take it forward and plan on writing it? Bc I’m being rlly indecisive rn ahaha 😅

So. Tratie instead of Percabeth. Let’s take a closer look at the potential:

Honestly, I hate to admit it, but Percabeth didn’t do much to the plot as a whole, so it wouldn’t make much of a difference if they’re taken out. Though there are some things they did to move the plot forward, although little, and that’s what I’ll touch on before I discuss Tratie in general:

( oh yeah, disclaimer: I read the HoO series about five years ago?? I’m trying ( key word: trying lmao ) to reread the series currently, but it’s just not sticking lmfao. Probably the main reason why I wanna rewrite it so badly, other than the two posts that boosted my inspo )

--> THE ATHENA PARTHENOS: Annabeth went on a solo quest in MoA to track down the Athena Parthenos bc it was crucial to sealing the rift between Greek and Roman. BUT, any other demigod could go on that same quest instead of her. Like Piper, whose mother had told her that she was essential to sealing the rift but never ended up doing anything for it bc RR just...flopped idk; or someone like Leo who has similar abilities as Annabeth and would be able to outsmart Arachne in a similar fashion as well; or even Reyna could come earlier than she did in the series and work with the Seven or some of them to track down the statue? Idk, there are lots of options, tbh, there’s honestly not that much relevance to Annabeth being the daughter of Athena so she has to track down the Athena Parthenos. I mean, sure there was the Arachne ordeal, but other than that, nothing major rlly happens

Percy, himself, didn’t rlly...do much for the entire series, other than fight. I mean, there were some minor aspects of HoO where his powers or relations to other characters vibed well, so we’ll check those out:

--> KANSAS: In MoA, Jason and Percy fought each other bc they were forced to. That could easily happen even without Percy. Instead, of Percy, it could be Hazel and Jason fighting each other due to their connections as the Big Three children being taken advantage of. It could be sort of like a mirage of Thalia and Percy’s fight back in TTC. Plus, again, it gives way for more bonding and discussion after between two other characters that never got much interaction time together in canon

--> KYM AND POLYBOTES: okay this is the scene that takes place in BoO where Percy and Jason face off against Kym and Polybotes. But, Percy...does literally nothing here other than get poisoned lmao. It was Jason who did the heavy-lifting bc Percy got a t a d bit arrogant, thinking he was invincible underwater. So honestly, you could take out Percy and replace him with another member of the Seven (who would seem reasonable, in the context, so no Piper or Annabeth or Leo, etc bc none of them can survive even a minute under the water and doesn’t have a way like Jason to breathe). Tbvh, I can see Frank and Jason go together to face Kym and Polybotes. Frank can shapeshift into a sea-creature while Jason can use his ventus vacuum thingie, so it all works out, and nothing too drastic is changed!

There’s probably a couple more of little scenes where Percabeth was mostly significant in some way to the series, but let’s be very honest...there weren’t a lot of them. So long story short: if you want to, you can easily take out Percy and Annabeth from the series and replace them with another pair and it wouldn’t be the end of the world, lmao.

Now onto Tratie ideas in relation to if they were a part of the Seven instead. Here are some bullet-points of some ideas that I thought of:

It could be a lovely parallel, where when Jason woke up, all he could remember was Thalia, so when Travis wakes up, all he remembers is Connor, his younger brother. I think it would be nice bc it shows that not everything has to be romantically coded like how Percy only remembered Annabeth in canon. It would emphasize Travis and Connor’s sibling bond more so, and I can just imagine Connor giving Travis reuniting noogies and trying not to burst into tears in MoA, and Travis whispers something like “you’re here” and the floodgates open, and it’s just crying and hugging and the like 😭😭

Katie is a daughter of Demeter, so she would have a somewhat connection with the Earth aka Gaea, hence there is now a plausible reason why Gaea would want to spill her blood to rise. Also, when the time comes to defeat her, instead of charm-speaking her to sleep or whatnot, Katie could be a significant crux to the primordial’s defeat bc her powers tie in with the land/earth, so she could use her powers to forcibly push Gaea back into the earth.

Instead of them going to Tartarus, they end up going to Cupid (so some other pair will fall into Tartarus instead), and instead of a stupid forced outing, Cupid takes one look at them, senses their underlying emotional tension and goes “oh boy, yeah, you two have a lot to talk about” and actually (tries to) help guide the two into confessing the feelings they’d hidden, instead of being a little shit like in canon. Plus I just adore the idea of Travis calling Katie “flower” after they get together, and Katie calling him “key” not just bc he steals stuff but also bc he’s like the key to her heart and all that sappy bs, I literally love them sm 🥺 literally such wonderful nickname opportunities that have a deeper meaning

Travis and Jason might have a subtle rivalry, but unlike Percy and Jason’s weird ‘I’m stronger than you’ thing, it could be bc Jason felt a bit jealous of how everyone was looking for Travis, including his sister, while no one pulled much of an effort to look for him? It’d give an opportunity for them to talk things out and end up growing closer after talking

Juno/Hera saw Travis’s need, his desire, to redeem the Hermes name and as a result, used that fire to kickstart her plan by plopping him in Camp Jupiter while Jason got switched to CHB. Hence there is now a reasonable concept as to why the switch happened, because honestly, the whole Percy-Jason switch didn’t make all that sense bc Jason, yes I can sort of understand why he got switched, but Percy?? There was literally no solid reason that was explained as to why he was chosen to be switched lmao. But with Travis, Juno/Hera takes pity on him and uses this as an opportunity for him to bring glory to the Hermes name after the Titan War

I have a ton more ideas for the rewrite as a whole tbvh. Stuff relating to ways Gaea could actually be defeated, more on Octavian’s backstory and why he hates the Greeks so much, and other tiny scenes between the demigods that could bring about more characterization and details to their arcs.

The only problem is...with the way this is going in my head, I think things might end up diverging more or less from canon as the series progresses? Like there will obv be the canon scenes, but there might also be non-canon scenes that might change the series plot a little bit?? And idk how many of y’alls will appreciate that lmao ghjksfgh but I have started writing it. It’s a super long process lmfao, so idk when I’ll publish it (probably on Ao3, if I do), but I just wanted to let y’alls know bc a lot of you guys liked my first post abt this and I saw your lovely tags and it made me super happy and honestly, those tags are the reason why I even started writing this in the first place! So thank you guys so so much for the positive feedback!

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foodiemeja · 3 years ago

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Pairing: F!reader x Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Arguing, intrusive thoughts, angst, fat shaming, stress, anxiety attack mention, crying(kinda), cussing, fluff at the end I promise :)

Summary: You a Bucky always fool around a little to much when y'all have petty arguments, but you are just extra sensitive today.

[A/N]- GUYS I PROMISE I AM WORKING ON PART 2 THESE ARE JUST DRAFTS IM POSTING!! But I'm working my best on it I promise!

You walk into the kitchen, biker shorts and a slipknot shirt on, trying to fully wake up. You had cute little carrot fuzzy socks on over top of your white plain ones. You had pulled out a bowl and the cereal, pouring it into your bowl. You brought out the milk then later poured that into the bowl as well. You got your spoon out of the drawer and then heard footsteps behind you and slight groans turning into grunts of disapproval. "Why are you eating my cereal?" Bucky asked. You knew he was gonna start a argument, or even something drastic to get at you.

"I just wanna have a peaceful day, just leave me alone please" You raised your voice slightly, still groggy from waking up. Bucky took your bowl with a snatch while making eye contact with you. You felt like a nerd trying to grab a book from a jock. You were much shorter than him. He did this on purpose to make you feel small an useless. "Give my bowl of cereal back you stupid bitch!" You screamed as you saw Sam come in the kitchen. "Sam please get me my bowl of cereal, please" you begged. Sam looked at you and then went and sat on the couch. "He doesn't help fags like you" he said with a huge smirk on his face. You felt like crying. "Fuck you! You bitch ass ape!"

"You are so pleasant!" He said laughing. "It's not my fault I'm trying to help you from getting even more fatter than you already are y/n". You stoped trying to get the bowl. Your appetite was gone once he took the bowl anyways. But that hurt. You put away the cereal and milk. You walked away and back to your room. Usually you stayed and argued. But you were sensitive today. You felt like crying at the slightest things. It wasn't your period on the way, since you had it a week ago. Going into your bathroom and weighing yourself. "Maybe..maybe Bucky's right". 135 pounds. You read that as 351. Trying to keep yourself from tearing up you get off the scale and go to your bed.

It was around lunch time and Steve had gotten lunch for everyone. Everyone came to the kitchen to eat, except you. You were watching TV in your room sulking because of how heavy you thought you were. You had been overworking yourself to do more than you can physically and mentally handle in the gym. So it bothered you alot when some one said something rude about your size or weight. You saw yourself as humongous, and other people saw you as cute and petite. Bucky would never blatantly say this but, he saw you as the most gorgeous woman he has ever layed eyes on. Such a cute curvy body, pretty plump lips, beautiful hair color, and those eyes, oh those eyes got him every time. He doesn't even know why he treats you so badly, when he's so madly in love with you. You are the star of the team. Always happy and so encouraging to do better.

Which is why him not seeing you sitting across from him had him worried. After around 10 minutes Natasha asked where you had been. Sam said you had been in your room since this morning and no one had seen you since. This made Bucky worry even more. What if something happened to you after you left the kitchen. What if you had a panick attack like you did once Infront of him. What if what he said fucked your mental state up. All of Bucky's thoughts stopped when Wanda got up and put your food in the fridge and labeled your name on top. "She'll come get some when she's ready" Wanda said with a nice inviting smile. That made Bucky feel a bit at ease with all his thoughts.

Now it was dinner time. Tony had gotten Chinese takeout since no one felt like cooking. Once the food was here a maid had took it up to the dinning room where everyone sat waiting on the bags of food. Bucky hoped you'd be sitting in your seat across from him before he had gotten there. But he was mistakingly wrong. You weren't here for another meal. Was it because of what he said. He had gotten up and grabbed his and your dinner. "I'm gonna go take it up to her. Maybe she's just not feeling well" the rest of the team agreed while Sam had a shit eating grin on his face.

He had knock on your door to find it kind of cracked. He walked and place the food on the table you had. He saw you snuggling into some stuffy's while you slept. Bucky was gonna wake you up untill he saw your journal wide open.

May 15th

He commented on my weight again. I wish all this fat could be cut off. I wish he liked the way I looked. Maybe I'm trying to hard to be liked by him, he's always like blondes, maybe I should go blonde. Bucky is always so hateful to me. Does he want me off the team? Or does he just want me to die?. I wish I could be loved by him.

This broke his heart. He didn't know how to feel. Did he really make you want to change your body for him. He loved your hips, your beautiful torso, and your cute little arms, and little hands. He loved everything about you. He couldn't believe that he made you feel so disgusted about your self. He began to tear up, untill he felt you move a bit. Bucky nudged your shoulder and placed a soft kiss to your cheek. "You are so beautiful sweetheart. Please don't change" he said, his voice low and soft. You woke up startled and a bit scared. You sat up and caught your breath. "Bucky, w-what are you doing?" You asked half asleep still. "Why were you skipping out on meals?" He barked right back. "Because... I wanna lose weight ...I'm too big" this made his lose a bit of breath and sanity. "To big? Sugar you are so perfect it makes me fucking jealous! There's no way your too damn big!". He picked you up and placed you into his lap like your were as light as air. "I know I can go over and yonder but, I love you so much, and not just for your body, I mean for you, sweetness".

You didn't even try and argue you just snuggled up into his neck and smiled. "So you gonna eat your food for me, or and I gonna have to shove it down your throat?" Bucky asked giving you a grin before you answered. "Well that depends on what your shoving down my throat" you smirked and he chuckled." You are dirty, I love you". "I guess I love you too Bucky" you said rolling your eyes while stating a kiss on his lips.

"But I'm serious y/n, don't change, never!" Bucky said looking into your eyes and waiting for your response. "I don't plan on changing anymore..." You looked back up into his eyes and gave a faint smile. He grabbed you by your cheek and kissed you so passionately it made you want to get as close to him as possible. Bucky pulled away and had a genuine smile on his face. "Could you forgive me?" His hand sliding back to your sides. "I already have, just please no more shitty moments please." Bucky placed a quick peck on your lips. "No more of those. But how about in exchange for those moments. You can be mine y/n? What do you say?" You had a big smile on your face and started batting your eyes in a funny sarcastic way.

"Jeez can I get a date first Barnes" you both started laughing before going back into a kiss and laying down and eating y'all's Chinese food.

#bucky barnes #fat shaming #fluff #i love yall #love me back #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #yo momma

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satoruvt · 3 years ago

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[7:17 PM]

chan, 673 words, fluff, sfw.

a/n: u guys know that live chan did where it was just supposed to be like a radio but he accidentally turned the camera on and he was on screen for like 2 seconds in a cute headband and glasses. thats the inspo for this. and also me having a breakdown. but mostly the live

“You’re doing it wrong,” Chan says, about three whole seconds after you start applying a serum to your face.

“I just started,” you defend, but take your hands away from your face anyways. The spots on your cheeks you actually touched with the product feel cold in the air of your room and you stare at him as he walks over to you from the bathroom over to your desk.

He does his best to transfer what’s left of the serum on your fingertips to his, then starts massaging it into your skin gently. His hands are a little cold and you flinch, but let him do his work. You can’t really tell the difference between this and what you were doing, but Chan seems focused, a determined furrow in his brows that perfectly contradicts the cute bunny headband he’s got on to push his hair back. “How’d you even know I was doing it wrong?” You ask, words squished with your cheeks. “You were in the bathroom.”

“I could sense it,” he answers immediately, gently patting your skin. You hand him a makeup wipe to get the stickiness off of his hands and he takes it, leaning back against your desk as you look up at him from your chair. “I know these things, baby.”

You scoff at that, roll your eyes kindly as he flicks your forehead. His own skin is dewy and you figure he must’ve finished up his own routine in the bathroom before coming to help you.

“‘Kay,” he says after a moment, looking to your desk to see what other products you have. He pushes his glasses up his nose. “What else did you wanna use tonight? Just that?”

You shake your head, pointing to another serum. You’ve used it probably four times in total. Skincare is always calming, but these days you have less and less energy after work. “I’ve had some acne breakouts, I wanted to try this one.”

Chan mumbles an okay and opens the bottle, using the tiny pipette to drop some of the product into his hand. A while ago you asked him why he doesn’t just drop it straight onto his face, and he had huffed at you. If your skin touches the pipette the product won’t be as effective, he had said. Plus, it makes a mess.

His hands come back to your face, gentle, pushing the serum into your skin. His fingers are warmer than before and you want to close your eyes, let yourself relax the way you’ve been craving so badly.

In all honesty, it’s been a rough few weeks. Your boss has asked you to work overtime more than you’re prepared to handle, and it leaves you exhausted at the end of the day. Not to mention Chan being so busy with Seventeen’s recent comeback; it’s been hard to reach him when you just want to rant. The troubles of adulthood, you suppose.

Chan finishes up with your serum and then adds some moisturizer, sealing everything together with a final pat to your cheeks. You stare at him and he stares at you, and you reach for his hands blindly.

“Thank you for coming over,” you tell him, fingers meeting his. He interlocks your hands together. “I know it was sudden.”

Chan shrugs, squeezes your hands. “You needed me,” he says. “So I’m here.”

Normally you’d tease him about the tilt of smugness in his voice but you’re feeling a little more sentimental, given that you had called him suddenly, asking if he was free for even just five minutes. “Still,” you say. “Thank you. I love you.”

He smiles at that, tugs you forward by your hands so he can press a kiss to the top of your head. You are warm, and you are grateful. His hands fold with yours perfectly. “I love you too,” he says into your skin, followed by another kiss.

When the two of you fall into bed, sleep blurring the corners of the world, your hands are still intertwined.

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violetlilysunshine · 4 years ago

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He’s Not My Harry

Boyfriend Harry Holland x Actress Reader

Summary: You’re presenting at Comic Con and a fan asks you a question about your relationships with Harry and Tom.

WC: 1,550

Warnings: A little angsty maybe??? But nothing really

A/N: I’ve never been to Comic Con so I don’t really know how it works, also written before Tomdaya, so don’t at me.

REQUESTS OPEN - Or just come chat :)

MASTERLIST - JOIN MY TAGLIST

Your new show was invited to present at Comic Con this year and you were over the moon. You were already planning to go to Comic Con, since Harry would be there with Tom, but now you got to be featured as well. You hadn’t seen Harry in way too long. You and Tom had filmed together in Atlanta, becoming fast friends. After he had introduced you to Harry, you guys hit it off immediately, quickly becoming a couple.

The distance had been pretty hard on the both of you, but you were still going strong after two years. You and Harry made your relationship public just a week before Comic Con, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other once you reunited. You posted a casual, “Happy two years,” and a cute picture, keeping it short and sweet, mimicking Harrison and Grace. Harry on the other hand seized the opportunity and posted, “Two years. Gotcha beat Haz and Grace,” making sure to tag them both. Luckily, they found it funny and you all laughed it off.

You both had gotten more positive messages than you were expecting, but quite a bit of hate as well. You expected to get some, but didn’t really think people would be sending as much to Harry as they were. You felt really bad about it, but he reassured you over and over that he was fine. The absolute last thing you were prepared for, was how much hate he was getting because the fans were shipping you with Tom instead.

The boys got in last night and Harry called you immediately upon leaving the airport. He texted you again as they were pulling into the hotel and you bolted down the stairs. You found them at the front desk, checking in together and Harry was just taking a room key.

He turned around, spotting you standing by the staircase. His face broke into a giant smile, his eyes lighting up at your presence. You skipped across the room, jumping into his arms immediately as he dropped his bag, his other hand still holding his phone and key as he wrapped it around your waist.

“Hey, Red,” you greeted him quietly in his ear as you snuggled into his neck.

He rubbed his face deeper into your hair, “hi, darling,” he whispered back.

You pulled back slightly, arms still latched around his neck, and pulled him into a deep kiss. You were glad that you’d posted together because you wouldn’t have been able to hold back.

When you pulled away, you saw some fans taking pictures scattered across the lobby, but you weren’t all that worried about it. You’d kind of expected it, and most of their focus was on Tom anyway.

“Alright, you lot, c’mon,” Tom called, picking up his bag and heading towards the elevators.

You unwrapped from Harry, taking his camera bag over your shoulder as he grabbed his larger suitcase.

“Alright, love, so I’m in 615 with Harrison,” he told you as you waited for the elevator, “you can drop by whenever you like, alright?”

“Oh,” you answered in a small voice, smile dropping just slightly.

“What is it?” he asked gently.

“Well, I sorta thought maybe you could stay with me...”

“Oh, well, I didn’t know what you wanted to do, so I just got this one with Harrison. It’s connected to Tom’s too, but uh, I’d rather be with you if that’s what you want,” he said with a smile.

“Hey!” Harrison called turning around.

“Sorry bro, but do you really blame me?” Harry said, smirking.

“Whatever, div,” Harrison turned back around, climbing into the elevator behind Tom.

“Okay, we’re in 710,” you told him, as well as Tom and Harrison, passing Harry your second key.

“Maybe I should write the numbers on them so I don’t get ‘em mixed up,” Harry laughed.

You giggled back, looping your arm around his wrist.

~~~~~

Waking up next to Harry was your favorite thing in the world; you loved feeling his arm carelessly thrown over you and his legs tangled with yours. You loved seeing his sleepy morning smile and crazy bed head curls. You loved hearing his raspy morning voice and his grumbles as he awoke. You’d never get enough of it or him.

You rolled over this morning to find his eyes already on you; you smiled gently, bringing a hand up to push the curls off his forehead.

“Morning, baby,” he said, pulling you closer.

“Mmm, hi,” you whispered.

“Wish we could stay like this forever,” he said, leaning forward to kiss along your jawline.

You giggled as his hair brushed over your face, “unfortunately, we both have things to do.”

“Mmm yeah, stupid work,” he grunted, tucking into your neck, pressing a few kisses to your skin before mumbling, “stupid Tom.”

You laughed loudly at that, knowing he was just joking and he didn’t really think badly of his brother.

You giggled again, pulling his head up to kiss him for real. He held your kiss for a moment, before pulling away. He brushed his fingers against your skin under your shirt, just watching you for a moment. You giggled under his intense gaze.

“What time are your panels, darling?” he questioned gently.

You rattled off what you could remember before asking, “why?”

“Well I wanna come to as many as I can o’course! Maybe bring the guys with me just for fun.”

“Mmkay,” you giggled, before pulling him in for a few more slow kisses.

Before you knew it, your alarm was going off, “have to get up and get ready,” you said sadly.

“Me too. Was supposed to be at Tom’s half an hour ago,” he chuckled.

You slapped his chest lightly before rolling out of bed to get ready for the day.

He chuckled deeply, watching you fiddling around and getting your stuff together for a second before getting out of bed to do the same.

~~~~~

You weren’t really expecting anyone to bring Harry up today in your panel, but of course, three questions in, someone said something.

“Hi, um, my question is for Y/N,” the fan said timidly into the microphone.

“Hey, darling!” you cheered with a big smile, “what’s up?”

“Um, well I saw you posted a happy two years with Harry, and I was wondering why you picked him instead of Tom?”

Your face dropped instantly, lips curling down and eyes losing their sparkle. You stared blankly at the fan before asking, “are you serious?” in a low voice.

The fan just looked back at you, nodding only the slightest bit.

You took a deep breath, glancing at the ceiling before opening your mouth. You opened and closed it a few times, trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

“I know that the smart thing to do here would be to not answer that question, but I’m going to,” you breathed, “I’m going to answer it once and that’s that,” you said finally. “Let me start with this: I hate that question because it sounds like ‘why’d you settle for Harry when you could have had Tom?’” you paused, “it makes it seem like Harry is less than Tom and that is absolutely not true at all,” you took a break there, breathing deeply.

You noticed fans were beginning to chatter in the audience, pointing at the boys sitting in the front row. You noticed the look on Harry’s face and after that, all you could see was red.

“I don’t need you to point at them, guys, I know they’re there,” you spoke tenderly into the mic, chuckling a little bit so as not to scream.

You continued your answer, speaking slowly, “Tom and Harry are not one-in-the-same. They’re not interchangeable. They are two completely different people. Harry offers me things that no one else in the world ever could. He’s kind and smart and beautiful and confident and genuine and hardworking and so, so incredibly talented and one of the absolute greatest people you could ever surround yourself with,” your voice started to falter as you got choked up, almost crying from anger, “and not that Tom isn’t all of those things, but he’s not my Harry. Tom is great and one of my best friends in the world and I’m so grateful for that, but... I love Harry so much that it hurts,”

You took another break, glancing at the ceiling again to try and keep yourself from losing it, “and if anyone puts him down in front of me again, I’m absolutely going to lose my shit. So…” you trailed off, chuckling again, “so, in conclusion, they’re very different and while Tom is great, Harry is the best. Next question, please.”

You turned to face the fan on the other side of the audience, placing your mic in your lap and tossing your hair behind your shoulder. You took a deep breath, shaking off your anger, and looking at Harry in the audience again. His happy expression had returned now, his eyes brightening and a very small smile gracing his features. You gave him a tight lipped smile back mouthing, “I love you,” to him quickly.

He mouthed, “I love you more,” back, making your smile grow even wider.

TAGLIST: @samhollandscupcake @spider-barnes @hogwartsmarvelmommy @tulipholland @harryhollandsgirlfriend @cupids-crystals @sunwardsss

#harry holland #harry holland fluff #harry holland x reader #harry holland x female reader #harry holland oneshot #harry holland fanfiction #harry holland imagine #harry holland fanfic

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lou-struck · 3 years ago

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The Ugliest Time of Year

Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Day 8: Ugly Sweater

25 Days of Ficmas Masterlist

WC: 900+

One of the best things about the holiday season is that it brings forth all sorts of opportunities to spend time with the people you care about. A few weeks ago, you and your boyfriend Izuku got invited to an ugly sweater party hosted by some of your old friends. Since everything was in lockdown last year, they haven’t had the chance to meet your boyfriend yet and you were very excited to make the introductions and show him off a bit.

The weeks leading up to the party were extremely busy, you had no time to find a great sweater to wear to the party. With a deadline approaching, you decided the best way to get a sweater that you’re proud of is to simply make one yourself. You found some very easy online tutorials on how to customize your own ugly sweater. This project carries little to no risk because no matter how badly you mess up on your sweater project, it doesn’t matter because it’s supposed to be ugly anyway. The sweater will either turn out “cute ugly” or an “ugly ugly.”

Before you start your project, you see your boyfriend in the other room eating some leftovers from dinner the night before. “Izuku,“ you ask “do you have an ugly sweater that you can wear for the party tomorrow night?” He thinks for a moment with his hand on his chin before speaking.

“Yeah, I do,” he says as he goes to grab it from your shared bedroom. Coming back into the room, he seems to be hiding it behind his back. “Here it is,” he cheers as he pulls it out. His aforementioned sweater is a solid red long-sleeve T-shirt, the text on the front says sweater.

“Isn’t this so funny,” he says cheerfully as he watches your face. You can’t help but stare at him, the hope for tomorrow slowly draining from your eyes.

“Zuku…” you trail off unable to find the words needed to break the news to him that

Izuku looks concerned for a moment looking back and forth between the shirt and you. “This isn't right is it?” he asks solemnly before cracking his facade and laughing out loud, “Just kidding, I had this for years and wanted to see what you would think.” you stand on your tiptoes to ruffle his hair playfully as he leans into your hand.

“Mirio was right, you really aren't funny.” you laugh as a pink blush coats his freckled cheeks.

“I thought that was funny,” he says in a mock pout. “I also thought it would distract you for a bit.

“Distract me from what exactly Zuku?” you question him raising a brow.

“I uh..kinda forgot about the sweater,” he says sheepishly.

You smile and look at him, “me too.” you say as you place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Do you wanna make one with me?”

He nods as you lead him to the table bringing out another blank dark green sweater you bought just in case he needed it.

“We should make each others,” you practically squeal as you fire up the glue gun.

Izuku looks concerned “What if I mess yours up?” he mumbles.

“Don't worry about it, they aren't meant to look good,” you say as you hand him the tool. This seems to satisfy him as he tries to get to work.

This experience has made you realize one thing, you may trust Izuku Midoriya with your life, but you are never ever going to give this man a glue gun again. Everything starts to stick together, his fingers have been stuck together for the past few minutes as he tries to hide the evidence from your watchful eye.

Thankfully he is so strong he was able to pull it apart without any major breakage, but you did have to lay down a much larger piece of cardboard on the table so he doesn’t completely ruin the wood underneath it.

Despite the disaster, Izuku looks like he is having so much fun making the sweater and following the tutorial to the best of his ability humming softly as he places pretend ornaments on the cotton canvas.

The sweater he’s making for you looks like it is a Christmas tree, dozens of sparkly puffballs, and thin bows made of tinsel cover the surface. By the time he’s done with it, it looks clumsily cute.

He looks concerned with his final product as he keeps trying to readjust his final touches. Suddenly a lightbulb seems to go off in his head as he grabs a Black ink pen to write on the tag “Made with love - by Izuku”

The one you made for him looks great if you do say so yourself. As you hold it out to him he looks down at his feet. “You can wear that one if you want to, it just looks so much better than the one i made for you,” he says quietly showing you his design.

You take it from his scarred hands and slip it on not minding that it's still very warm from the hot glue. “I love it Izuku,” you tell him happily as he blushes. “I can't wait to wear it for the party tomorrow.”

“And I can't wait to wear yours too,” he says as he bends down to give you a soft kiss. After which he helps you out of the sweater so that it can fully cool down.

The next night the two of you step out from your car clad in your sweaters. Ready to meet your friends inside. As you walk up to the door hand in hand, you fail to notice the trail of puffballs in your wake.

#bnha x reader #bnha fluff #my hero academia #bnha #izuku mydoria #bnha deku #deku x reader #mha izuku #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #25 days of fic mas

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babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

Text

DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"

Word count: 11,6K

Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.

Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.

A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.

Masterlist

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

(Y/N)'s point of view

Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.

I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.

My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.

My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.

It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.

After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.

Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.

Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.

Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.

Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.

However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.

You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.

For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.

Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes

Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No

Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes

Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.

And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.

Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.

We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.

We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.

We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.

- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.

- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."

I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.

- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.

- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"

- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.

- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"

- "I won't! I promise!"

- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.

- "That's not really my gold."

- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."

- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.

- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.

- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"

I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.

- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.

- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"

There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.

- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."

- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.

- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.

- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.

- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."

- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.

- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."

I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.

- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out

- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.

- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."

- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.

- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"

- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"

- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.

- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.

- "I think I better go home."

- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."

I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.

- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."

- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.

- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.

- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."

- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.

- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."

Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.

Spencer's point of view

I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.

The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.

My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.

It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.

I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.

That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.

When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.

Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.

I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.

- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.

- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.

- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.

- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."

- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.

- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."

- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."

- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.

- "This! You need some Amy in your life."

And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.

My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.

- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"

- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."

- "It's four in the morning."

- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."

- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"

- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"

A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.

- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"

- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"

- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.

- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"

- "Yes, I did."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.

- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."

Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.

- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?

- "What?"

- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"

- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.

- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."

- "Are you ok, JJ?"

- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."

- "How was she?"

- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."

- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."

- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.

What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.

I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.

That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.

What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.

No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.

And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.

My nemesis.

- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."

- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.

- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."

- "Very, sir."

- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.

- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.

- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."

Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?

- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.

- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.

- "Don't ask."

- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.

- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."

As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.

- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.

- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.

I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.

- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.

- "She is?"

- "As a consultant."- he assured me.

- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.

- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.

- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.

- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.

- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.

- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.

- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.

- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.

- "Hotch was on that team, too."

- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.

I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.

- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.

- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.

- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.

- "You got it."

But I disagreed with that.

- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.

- "Yeah, I'm ok."

- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."

But everything was far from being ok.

I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.

- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.

-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.

- "And you, doctor?"

- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.

- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.

- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."

- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."

- "So? You need to keep one there."

- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."

- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."

- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"

- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."

Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.

It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.

I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.

But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.

- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.

- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.

- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.

- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.

- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.

- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."

- "Right. Sure. Of course."

Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.

- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."

Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.

- "You just seem to be so close."

- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."

- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.

- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.

- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.

- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."

- "Yes, you mentioned it"

I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.

- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.

- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.

- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.

- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.

- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."

I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.

Spencer's point of view

I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.

Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).

Why did I care so much?

I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).

But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.

- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."

- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.

We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.

Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.

Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.

- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.

- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.

- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.

- "I know that, too."

- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.

- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."

And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.

- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."

The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.

- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.

- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."

My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.

- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.

- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.

- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.

- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."

- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."

- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."

(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.

David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.

- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.

I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.

- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.

- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.

- "Don't worry, next time."

I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.

I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.

- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.

- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.

- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.

- "Great, pizza?"

- "Pizza sounds good."

We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.

- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"

- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.

- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"

I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.

- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.

I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.

- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.

- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.

- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."

- "Yeah, of course."

Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.

- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."

- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."

- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."

- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.

- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?

- "Really? But..."

- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.

- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."

- "Yes, very."

- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."

- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.

- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.

- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.

- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."

- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."

- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."

Why did I say all that? I had no idea.

- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.

- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.

- "Sorry."

- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."

After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.

I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.

I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.

I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.

I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.

How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.

- "I miss u"

(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them

- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"

- "See you at seven-thirty."

I typed and sent it.

What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.

At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.

Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.

- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.

- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"

- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."

- "I'm glad you are fully rested."

- "What did you do yesterday?"

- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."

- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."

- "Really?"

- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."

We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.

I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.

- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.

- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."

- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"

- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"

- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.

- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.

- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"

- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."

- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.

- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."

- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.

- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.

- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.

- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."

I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.

- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."

- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.

- "That was Ashley."

- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"

- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.

- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.

- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."

- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"

- "If Hotch approves..."

- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.

- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."

- "I don't like her, Spencer."

- "Yes, I know."

- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"

- "I know..."

- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."

I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.

The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.

- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.

- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."

I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.

- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."

- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."

- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.

- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.

- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"

- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.

- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.

- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."

- "I can't believe it!!"

- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."

- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."

- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."

- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.

- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.

- "Then why are you defending her?"

- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."

- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"

- "Right, other than that..."

I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."

- "Thank you."

- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."

- "You don't have to be her friend."

Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.

- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"

I actually didn't know what I was getting into.

Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.

Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.

- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"

Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.

- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.

Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.

Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."

I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.

- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.

- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."

- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."

I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.

- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.

- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."

- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.

I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.

I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.

How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?

–

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 16th, 2021

#spencer reid #Criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #diwk #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds re write

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sleepysnk · 4 years ago

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i decided to make a sequel to Ditched! this part is actually based of an event that happened to me in real life! i tried my best to put my personal experience into words, i hope you all enjoy the sequel! :)

I Waited For You

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Slight angst

Ditched

Ever since Eren and (Y/N) met each other that night they have been inseparable.

The two talked every night ever since that day, they spent hours on facetime talking or laughing about their days, or meeting up for some coffee or just going for a nice drive. They always found time to speak to one another.

Eren helped (Y/N) with her ex, he listened to the stories she had about how badly he treated her and gave her ways to distract herself from the bad thoughts. He understood how badly she took the breakup, especially since she got cheated on. He also helped her get through to her friends, something she couldn't necessarily do before. She ended up dropping those so called "friends" and found a better crowd. All thanks to Eren.

(Y/N) listened to Eren as well, she spent many nights listening to his stories about the girls he spoke to, or the famous on and off girlfriend he had for awhile. She helped him bring out a better side of himself, she assured him that people come and go, but to never loose hope.

Here they were, two weeks into talking. Eren liked her, he knew it wasn't a good idea to like her so quickly, but he couldn't resist. (Y/N) was beautiful, smart, kind, sweet, adventurous. It was everything he wanted in a girl. Not to mention how they clicked so fast on a lot of things.

(Y/N) on the other hand, wasn't sure if she even wanted to date Eren.

She wasn't exactly healed from all of it, she still had some nights where she would cry into her pillow thinking about how much her ex hurt her. She still was dealing with it emotionally, and that was the hardest part of it all. (Y/N) liked Eren, but she wasn't sure if her own feelings were 100%. She didn't want to start a new relationship if she wasn't totally healed from her past, she knew it wouldn't work well.

She wanted to communicate it with him as well as she could, because she didn't want it to seem like she was leading him on or playing with his feelings. That's the opposite of what she wanted.

Here she was in a coffee shop, it was their favorite. Eren actually took her there the second time they hung out, and she enjoyed it a lot.

(Y/N) planned to tell him what was going on. She had support from her friend Historia, she told (Y/N) that it was the best option. If she were to lie it wouldn't end well for her nor Eren, she assured her that he should understand where she was coming from.

(Y/N)'s hands were around the warm cup of coffee. She shook her leg nervously.

Her eyes looked up to see Eren entering the coffee shop, he smiled as he made his way over. She couldn't help but admire the way he looked, his hair was tied into a bun, he wore a black sweater with some black sweats. He looked bummy but so good.

"Hey! It's good to see you," Eren said, taking the seat in front of her.

(Y/N) smiled, looking down her hands. "It's good to see you too," she replied. "How are you?" she asked, nodding her head.

Eren sighed. "Eh.. I'm doing good, I had some really hard exams last week but that's about it. How about you?" he replied, looking at her.

She shrugged her shoulders, looking at his green eyes. "I'm okay I guess," she said, running her nail down her coffee cup.

"You told me you wanted to talk about something? I actually wanted to talk about something as well," he said, smiling a bit.

Her heart skipped a beat seeing his smile. "Um yeah! I wanted to talk to you about something important, if you don't mind." she said, shifting around in her seat.

Eren shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweater. "I'm all ears," he said, leaning back in the chair.

A nervous sigh came out of her as she looked up at Eren, her expression serious. "Look Eren.. these past two weeks have been great! You've helped me a ton with my issues and I'm really glad to have met you," she said, smiling a bit.

"Yeah I agree too! I'm glad we met," Eren replied, nodding his head.

"But... Eren the thing is, I don't think we should become serious right now. I care about you a ton but I'm not ready for anything at the moment, I'm still healing from my ex and I don't want to hop into anything without being 100%" she explained, looking down.

It was silent between them.

Eren sat up, a sigh came from his throat. "Um.. yeah, I understand. Thanks for being honest.." he said, standing up.

She furrowed her brows. "Where are you going?" she asked.

He looked down at her, she could see the disappointment in his eyes. "I gotta go. I'm meeting with Armin, but um.. it was nice talking to you," he said, giving a small smile. "I hope you can get better and fix yourself," he added, patting her shoulder.

(Y/N) nodded as she watched him walk out of the coffee shop. She could tell that he was upset, but he took it better than she expected. She felt the sting of her heart when she saw his eyes and how disappointed he seemed, but there wasn't much she could do. She needed to work on herself before anything.

She watched Eren drive off for the final time.

Almost a month had went by since (Y/N) last talked to Eren that day at the coffee shop. She hadn't really spoken to him much since whenever they did talk, it would be short and not much conversation would even happen between the two.

Things weren't good on both sides.

(Y/N) was feeling a bit better about her ex, she did a lot of self care to fix herself and even vented to Historia and her girlfriend Ymir about the whole situation. It helped a ton and they gave her some advice on how to fully let go of the situation. They told her being on her own and surrounded by people who care was the best way to find peace.

She also explained her situation with Eren, of course they agreed that she did the right thing. Dating Eren while still processing a bad breakup would have been hell and it wouldn't be healthy. Historia told her that she should get out there when she felt ready.

She felt like she was in a better spot than she was a month ago, but she couldn't shake the thoughts about Eren.

Truth is, she missed him so much.

She missed everything about the boy. From his random facetime calls, to his jokes, the way he smelled, everything. She missed Eren a lot, but she couldn't ever find herself just hitting him up out of the blue. She didn't want to come off as the girl who comes back when she's finally okay, she felt like Eren wouldn't like that. Plus what if he moved on? What if he found somebody else?

Eren on the other hand wasn't doing well. He missed (Y/N) even more than she missed him. He'd occasionally check his phone seeing if she messaged him or he'd contemplate picking up the phone and calling her. He'd never actually end up doing it.

His feelings for her didn't change. He liked her still and even if he tried to find someone else, they wouldn't be the same.

The day he left the coffee shop was hard. He ended up sulking in his room all day, a few tears escaped his cheeks feeling the frustration from it all. He wished that her ex didn't fuck her up. She deserved so much better than that.

Eren wondered sometimes how she was doing, was she doing better? Did her ex come back? So many questions yet very little answers. He cut some contact because he didn't want his hopes to get too high, he didn't want to go through it again just for it to fail.

In a way, he felt like he was waiting for her. Waiting for that text message or phone call, he just wanted to hear her voice again, see her smile, anything.

"(Y/N)! Where are you!?" Historia yelled, opening the door to her apartment.

(Y/N) opened her bedroom door, seeing her friend standing there in her kitchen. "Historia? What are you doing here? It's kind of late," she asked, walking towards the blonde girl.

She nodded. "You didn't get my text? Ugh stupid phone. Anyway, do you want to come to a party? Ymir thought I should ask you," she said, looking down at her phone.

A party? Last time she went to a party was when she met.. nevermind.

"I don't know Hisu.. I feel like I'm too boring for that," she replied, shrugging her shoulders.

Historia looked up surprised. "Huh? (Y/N) you're not boring! You're a lot of fun. Come on! You're always at home, you need some fun." she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Let loose! Get some drinks in your system," she added.

(Y/N) leaned against the counter. "I don't even have much time anyway. It probably starts in an hour," she said.

"It starts at nine! Come on, I bet we can find something for you to wear. I won't ditch you either like those asshole friends you had before," she said, taking her hand and guiding her towards her room.

(Y/N) plopped down on her bed as she watched Historia open her closet. "Cute skirt! We just need a top," she said, tossing the white skirt onto her bed.

"I just wanna watch All American tonight," she groaned, laying down on her bed.

Historia looked back at her. "Why watch football guys when you can find one for yourself?" she asked, giggling a bit. "Here! This is a cute top," she added, showing her the light blue body suit.

(Y/N) sat up, scratching the back of her head. "Ugh, fine." she said, coming to grab the outfit. "I hope this party is actually fun," she mumbled, heading towards the bathroom.

She threw on the outfit, eyeing herself in the mirror. It had been a long time since she's gone out, she hoped it would be a decent night.

She opened the bathroom door. "What do you think?" (Y/N) asked, looking at Historia who was sitting on her bed.

"I love it! You look so good! Let's get going!" she yelled excitedly.

She put on her shoes and exited her apartment with Historia. Nervousness bubbled in her stomach as she got into the car, she hoped the party would be fine.

Arriving to the party, (Y/N) felt her nerves rising. She didn't know who the person was hosting the party, Historia said it was come guy named Jean who was hosting it. She didn't know a Jean, so she assumed it was one of Historia's friends from college.

Stepping inside the house she was smacked in the face with the smell of alcohol and marijuana, her nose scrunched as the odor filled her nose. People danced to the loud music or sat on the couches sipping drinks or kissed with each other.

"Come on!" Historia yelled, guiding (Y/N) through the crowds of people.

She looked around the kitchen as Historia ran towards Ymir. "You guys finally made it," Ymir said, hugging Historia tightly.

"Yeah.. sorry! I had to get (Y/N) ready," Historia said, looking over at her.

She stood awkwardly as she didn't know anybody at the party. "Here, I got you this. You seem a little nervous," Ymir said, handing her a red solo cup with red liquid in it.

(Y/N) looked down at the cup. "Are you sure?" she asked, looking at her friend with concern.

She scoffed. "(Y/N) just let loose, me and Historia are here if you get shit faced. Have some fun," she said, patting her shoulder.

She nodded, taking a sip of the drink. Her face twisted as the alcohol filled her mouth, burning as it went down her throat. It was strong, it tasted fruity. Jungle juice wasn't her favorite, but it'll do than having shitty shots and having a bad hangover.

(Y/N) leaned against the counter as a few people came over to talk to Historia and Ymir, her mind was too clouded with thoughts of boredom to even pay attention to what they were saying.

"(Y/N)!" her thoughts were broken by Ymir snapping her fingers in her face.

She shook her head. "Sorry! I zoned out.. what's up?" she asked, blinking a bit.

Ymir chuckled a bit. "I gotta go with Historia to the bathroom. You can come with if you'd like," she said.

She nodded. "I'm fine, I'll just wait here." she replied, swirling her drink around.

"Alright! We'll be back," Historia said, waving a bit as she walked away with Ymir.

(Y/N) sat on the counter staring into space, her mind kept wandering to that night she got ditched and met Eren. She would do anything to relive that night again, the way he looked, to the way his hair blew around his face when the windows were rolled down. She wanted to see him again.

Her eyes averted upwards, looking around at the different people who were dancing or messing around.

That's when her eyes landed on the figure leaning against the wall.

Brown hair in a manbun, sweats, a hoodie, and a drink in his hand.

It was Eren.

It was almost like her breath got caught in her throat, she felt her heart beginning to race and her palms began to get sweaty. What was the coincidence he was here at the same party as her? Should she approach him? What if he doesn't want to see her?

That's when his eyes landed on her. His brows raised, he leaned up off the wall.

"(Y/N)! We're back! Do you wanna go play some beer pong?" Ymir asked, nodding at her.

She looked towards Ymir and blinked. "Um.. sure! I'll just watch," she replied, hopping off the counter.

She couldn't help but feel Eren's eyes boring into her head. She wanted to talk to him, hear his voice, but something in her made her nervous. She made her way down the stairs as there was a table set with beer pong, a boy with a shaved head was playing with another boy with blonde hair.

"Haha! Get that Reiner! I win!" the shaved head boy yelled, laughing at his friend.

"Oh shut it Connie," the blonde replied, crossing his arms and walking away towards the couch.

(Y/N) felt a lump her throat as she leaned against the wall, Eren was here. He was here and she knew he might try to find her, the room felt stuffy and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Why was she so nervous? Was it the fact that her and Eren ended off awkward terms and seeing him for the first time made her nervous?

"Hey um.. I'm gonna go outside," (Y/N) said, standing up.

Ymir and Historia looked over at her. "Okay! Be careful," Historia replied, smiling at her. "Text me when you wanna come back," she added.

(Y/N) smiled and went up the stairs. She opened the front door and walked outside, she breathed in the cool night air. It felt better than being in the stuffy room. Her nerves were high as the memory of Eren played in her head, what was she going to do? She couldn't exactly avoid him! That would seem wrong considering she didn't want to cut him off.

"Ugh.. what am I going to do?" she asked, staring down at the floor.

"So you came out here too huh?"

Her body froze as she knew who's voice that was. She turned around to see Eren standing against the wall, he held the red solo cup in his hand.

"Eren.." she said, feeling her heart racing.

He smiled a bit. "I never thought I'd ever see you again," he said, stepping a bit closer towards her. "How have you been?" he asked.

(Y/N) fidgeted her fingers a bit. "Um.. I've been okay, what about you?" she replied.

He sighed. "I could be better, dealing with classes has been difficult. I was surprised to see you here, do you know Jean?" he asked, nodding his head.

She laughed a bit. "No I came here with a friend," she replied, looking up at his green eyes.

Eren shook his head, sitting up on the railing in front of the porch. "How has everything been going? It's been awhile since we last talked," he said, swinging his legs a bit.

The way he looked made her cheeks feel hot, she forgot about how cute he was close up.

"Um I've been actually doing better! Historia and Ymir helped me a lot. The process was hard, but I feel better now," she replied, smiling at him.

Eren's heart swelled seeing her smile. "That's great.. I'm happy for you really. You deserve the happiness," he said, putting his solo cup on the railing. "I just want to apologize for not reaching out or speaking to you. Believe me I wanted to, but I wasn't sure if it was fine with you." he added, rubbing the back of his neck.

(Y/N) looked up at him. "Don't apologize, considering the way things ended I kind of expected you to drift a bit." she said, leaning against the wall.

He nodded. "What do you mean? (Y/N) I wasn't mad at you, I just put distance between us because- nevermind. Just know that I don't hate you," he said, smiling a bit. "Your situation was understandable, what was going on was difficult. I see why you did it," he added.

She swallowed thickly as the tension between them began to get thick.

"Oh shit.. did I make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry I didn't mean to," Eren said, standing up and walking over to her.

She looked up at him. "What? No, Eren don't worry you're fine. It's just... I have something to tell you and I don't know how to say it," she said.

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "What is it? You can tell me anything," he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath. "Eren.. I still like you." she said. "I always have and I've missed you so so much," she added, looking down at the ground.

Eren's eyes went wide hearing her words. "You do?" he asked, nodding. "(Y/N)... I missed you too and I still like you. I never got over you," he added, smiling.

Her head shot up hearing his words. "What? Wait.. Eren you don't have to lie or say it out of pity," she said, shaking her head a bit.

He grabbed her hands and squeezed them. "(Y/N) I'm not lying to you. I would never lie to someone like you ever, fuck I was so messed up not talking to you everyday. I want to make you my girlfriend and make you forget all that bad shit your ex did to you," he said, cupping her cheek.

She smiled, feeling heat rush onto her cheeks. "That sounds perfect.." she said, staring into his eyes.

They stared at each other for a moment, before Eren pressed his lips onto hers. He put his arms around her, pulling her close. (Y/N) put her arms around his neck, feeling his soft lips on hers.

He pulled away smiling as he kissed her cheek. "I've waited so long to finally kiss you. I waited to finally have this moment," he said, cupping her cheek.

She felt her heart flutter at his words. "You waited all this time for me?" she asked, feeling heat on her cheeks.

He smiled. "I did.. I never gave up," he replied, kissing her cheek again. "What do you say we get out of here and catch up? I missed having you in my car," he asked, nodding.

She giggled. "That sounds great! Let me just text my friends," she said, taking her phone out to message Historia.

Eren fished in his pockets for his keys. She sent the message and took his hand as he lead her to his car, she smiled as she got in, feeling the memories replaying in her head as she adjusted herself in her seat.

"McDonald's?" Eren asked, smirking a bit.

She giggled. "Sounds great," she replied, taking his hand into hers.

#anime #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot imagines #aot fanfiction #snk x y/n #snk x reader #snk imagines #snk fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #anime fanfic #based off true events 😳

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 4 years ago

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Wrong Number, Asshole - A Bakugou Katsuki Soulmate AU

All Parts

Part 22:

You closed your phone, rolling your eyes at his words.

You were a floor down from Bakugou’s hospital room, currently stood in front of the vending machine. After your collective screaming match, you’d quickly realized just how hungry you were. Apparently, arguing and yelling so much works up one hell of an appetite- who knew? So now here you were, standing in front of the machine, holding a wad of horribly crinkled money Bakugou had insistently and unwaveringly shoved at you on your way out.

Originally, you had fully intended to pay for your own snacks. You’d even sneakily tried to grab your wallet as you left, but apparently that didn’t work. He saw you, because of course he did. So, waffling over it for just barely another second, you put your own money away. You knew Bakugou wasn’t bluffing- or probably wasn’t. It wouldn’t surprise you at all if he truly did know how expensive the vending machine was, down to the very last cent of each item. He was weird like that.

You shrugged, if he wanted you to use his money so badly than you weren’t gonna pick at fight over it. You selected a bag of chips for yourself, and the gross-looking health bar Bakugou had requested- because apparently, even while already uncomfortable and injured, Bakugou didn’t have an easy time giving himself a break.

When you walked back, entering the hospital room once more, Bakugou wasn’t alone. You couldn’t tell what surprised you more- the three police officers crowding his bed, or the man standing off to the side. A man with hair so obviously fake and stop-sign red that it nearly nauseated you.

You weren’t sure how to proceed, whether or not you were even supposed to be hearing this conversation, but you didn’t have to flounder for long. The red-haired man saw you almost immediately and began making his way over.

“Hey! How’s it going? I’m so sorry, but Dynamite’s actually not taking visitors right now!” He says, says brightly. Then he’s spinning you around and pushing at your shoulders lightly to get you moving out the door. “My name’s Kirishima though, and I can totally, totally, help you back downstairs to wait with the other civilians!”

“No, but I-” You start, your feet barely able to move as fast as Kirishima is dragging you along. “I have to-”

“Yeah, I get it! And that’s so totally nice of you to want to thank him, super, super nice,” Kirishima interrupts you, leading you down the hallway. “But he’s real busy talking to the police right now so-”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! I’m his soulmate!” You pull your wrist out of his light grip, halting. “My name’s Y/n L/n.”

“Wait-” Kirishima stops in his tracks, suddenly spinning around to face you. “How do you know that name?”

“Oh my god-” You huff in frustration, shaking Kirishima’s hands off you. “You sound just like Bakugou. It’s- that’s my name- like, my actual name, okay! How else would I know it if it wasn’t me?”

A beat of silence as you watch his eyes widen.

“So you’re really her?” He says in disbelief.

“Yes! Obviously,” You pinch the bridge of your nose, breathing through your irritation. “Now would you knock it off and let me go back to his room? I get it- you’re like, security, or whatever, but I’m not a civilian and I-”

“He’s gonna kill me.” Kirishima pales in front of you, suddenly grabbing your wrist again and pulling you fast in the direction of Bakugou’s room. “Oh god, he’s gonna kill me.”

“W-what? Why?” You stumble, nearly falling into his back. “Hey! Slow down!”

“Because I totally manhandled you out the door- god, that was so not manly of me!” He breathes out quickly, but he listens and drops your wrist, slowing down to a pace you could keep up with. “I’m sorry, it’s just- I thought you were a civilian, you know? They’ve been crawling all over the waiting room since I got here, sneakin’ up and trying to thank him, and I thought you were one of ‘em.”

“Thank him? For what?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Um- no?”

It’s hits you then that you didn’t really know why Bakugou was in the hospital in the first place. Only that he was ‘held up’ and then hurt and had been absent for the last two weeks. You wanted to smack yourself in the face. You’d spent the entire afternoon yelling and arguing with him and absolutely not asking the important questions. Well- you did ask some questions, but not enough. Apparently.

“Wow, figures. You know, that’s just like our guy Bakugou! Always talkin’ so much but still never bragging about all the actual cool shit he pulls off.” Kirishima rubs the back of his neck awkwardly for a moment. “C’mon, lets hurry back. I really don’t think he’d be too happy if I was the one who told ya everything.”

You have a million and one questions sitting on your tongue but quickly decide you’d much rather ask Bakugou than the man standing in front of you. You pick up your pace, finally once again in front of Room 427. When you enter, the police are leaving, all three of them walking past you on their way out.

“Hey! Shitty Hair!” Bakugou seems to ignore you, instead choosing to yell, loudly, at Kirishima. “Who the fuck gave you permission to go around draggin’ her like that? I fuckin’ saw you, you imbecile!”

“Hey!” The red-head whines, hands out and placating. “How was I supposed to know? You didn’t say anything, man! I didn’t know, okay?”

“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter, you dumbass, I’m not gonna let you just fuckin-” Bakugou starts, but then he whips his head around toward you, eyes catching yours. “Oi- Idiot. What the hell are you standin’ around in the doorway like that for, hah? Look stupid as shit.”

“Bakugou!” Kirishima seems appalled, grabbing at his chest dramatically. “You can’t talk to her like that! She’s-”

“Perfectly fucking capable of defending herself, thank you very much.” You snark, walking towards Bakugou and tossing the health bar at him lightly. He doesn’t expect it and you watch as it hits him squarely in the chest. You smile. “Real nice catch, angry man.”

“Woulda fuckin’ caught it if I was in top shape.” He grumbles, but then he’s smirking and opening the snack just the same. “Anyways- yeah, that’s Shitty Hair. Sorry he fuckin’ sucks.”

You clasp a hand over your as a laugh escapes. Kirishima doesn’t seem to think it’s nearly as funny as you do, and you watch as his face seizes.

“Hey, man! What the hell!”

“You deserve it, bitch! Shouldn’t a fuckin’ grabbed her like that and dragged her wherever the fuck.” Bakugou shrugs. “If you don’t wanna be told you suck, then don’t fuckin’ suck! It’s easy as shit- even for a clown like you.”

Kirishima just groans, hands beginning to wave emphatically. “Do you even know how many people I stopped from walking in here? I did it for you, man!”

“Yeah. Whatever.” Bakugou barks, taking a bite of the health bar. He chews for all of a second, before talking through a mouthful of food. “You should fuckin’ leave.”

“What? Why do I-” Kirishima pauses a second, blinks, looks at you, and then a smirk begins to tug at his lips. “Oh, I get it! Totally manly, Bakugou! It’s because of h-”

“No!” Bakugou defends, his cheeks reddening slightly. “It’s- fuckin’ police, shitty hair! Told ‘em to wait outside. They wanna talk to your dumbass- They have more idiotic fuckin’ questions about after I passed out.”

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” Kirishima nods, moving towards the door. “You want me to come back later?”

“No.” Bakugou growls.

That, you notice, strangely doesn’t seem to make Kirishima upset? He instead smiles brightly at Bakugou, giving him a thumbs up, and leaves, pulling the door shut behind him.

It’s suddenly quiet in the room, but you don’t let it last long. You’ve got answers to pry out of your soulmate.

“So- heard you passed out, angry man.” You state simply, dropping once again in the chair next to his bedside. “When’d that happen?”

“Few days ago. Been here since then.”

You roll your eyes at his short answer. Leave it up to Bakugou to tell you only what you literally asked for and absolutely nothing else.

“Okay. But how? Where?” You ask. “What about before then?”

Bakugou huffs at all your questions, but then he’d nodding and answering all the same.

“Had to fuckin’ save this man from hittin’ the ground real hard so I took all the impact. Hit my head or something, when I hit the ground, and I broke a bunch of shitty bones. Guess I was out a few days, and then I woke up here. Then I fuckin’ called you or whatever.”

“You- you took a fall? That knocked you out? For days?” You gasped. “How goddamn far was the fall? Jesus!”

“Four stories.” Bakugou says, and the uneffected, factual way he says it makes your blood go cold. “My fault. Shoulda been faster but I was already fuckin’ weak from bein’ captured.”

“Captured?”

“Yeah. Went undercover and tried to infiltrate this villian lair, and the fuckin’ stupid group of villians lumped me in with a bunch of other hostages.” He grunted. “I tried to blow ‘em all the fuck up, once I realized, but they had this absolute bitch, with a stupid fuckin’ siren quirk! Sang a bunch of shitty, annoying, fuckin’ songs that paralyzed me. Couldn’t do a damn thing! For over a week!”

“O-okay.” You nodded shakily. “Then what happened? How’d you get out?”

“Fuckin’ didnt. Just sat there, stuck on my ass, kept barely alive by that stupid bitch and her henchman!” Bakugou barked, hands clenching into fists. “Then shitty hair and a few other fuckers came and knocked her out- they stayed to fight the rest of the other villians or whatever but I was still too fuckin’ weak to fight so I rounded up the other hostages.”

“So you fell saving one of them?”

“Yeah. Stupid kid stayed to watch the fight, like a complete fuckin’ idiot, and got blasted by a villian out the window.” Bakugou flushes, averting his eyes. “I jumped out after him. To save him or whatever.”

You nod, very minutely smiling as you looked at his flushing face.

You were proud of him.

He might’ve been bad- had done bad in the past, but it seemed like that wasn’t all Bakugou was. He had good in him. A lot of good. He nearly finished himself off saving an innocent after all- that had to a least make him some sort of a hero.

“Well- okay....That all- that all sounds fucking horrifying, but I get it. It’s your job, right?” You sigh. “I’m just glad you made it out alive. I was really scared, you know?”

“Hah? Scared? Now why the fuck would ya go and do something stupid like that?”

“Because you weren’t answering me!”

“I told you I’d be gone!” Bakugou defends, before pulling out his phone. “Look! Fuckin’ sent ya the texts and everything!”

“You said a few days! Not 2 fucking we-“ You paused. “Wait. Why did you say a few days in the first place?”

“Knew it was gonna be fuckin’ dangerous when I left, so, you know,” He averted his eyes, voice coming out low and guilty. “Was supposed to be incase I got hurt. And was fuckin’ out or something. So you wouldn’t wor-“

“Worry?” You groaned, running a frustrated hand through your hair. “It didn’t- I was worried! I thought something happened! Or worse I thought that-“

“Worse? Fuck you mean, shitty woman? What the fuck stupid conclusion did you come to that’s worse than dyin’?”

“Bakugou,” You huffed, your shoulders sagging. “I thought maybe, that maybe you wouldn’t tell me anything because you were a bad guy- a bad villian.”

Bakugou’s face crumples. His angry eyebrows fall and his puffed out cheeks deflate, and his mouth closes tip-lipped and tense over sharp teeth. He looks devastated. “It- I didn’t-“ He struggles and you’ve never heard his voice sound so small before. “Y-you don’t think that, right? Now?”

“No!” You try to recover, hands out and assuring. “It’s- after the video, maybe? I did, b-but not now! Not now.”

He doesn’t say anything- won’t meet your eyes.

“Look, Bakugou,” You clear your throat. “I only know you as you are now, not who you were before. And I think- I think that maybe, now you’re almost a different person than before. So that’s why it was a shock. To see you like that. To see you so hateful.”

You duck your head, just barely catching his eyes before he averts them again.

“But that’s not you anymore? Right? You’re not that guy. So it’s okay. We’re okay.” You sigh. “Will you look at me? Please?”

He doesn’t, just continues fiddling with the thin blankets trapped between his shaking fingers.

“Why wouldn’t you just tell me?” You ask, tone pleading. “I feel like, maybe, if I didn’t have to find out like tha-“

“Woulda been the same. ‘S always the same.” He interrupts, voice barely there. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t- because it would’ve- there would’ve- you fuckin’ wouldn’t-“

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and sitting still for a few moments.

“You wouldn’ta kept fuckin’ talking to me.” He admits. He looks so small in that moment that it nearly breaks you. “Didn’t wanna- I didn’t wanna wait all my life, have this fuckin’ tattoo for so long and still have nothing because I was stupid.”

You pause, the breath knocked out of your chest.

“What- I- how long have you had your tattoo?”

Bakugou lifts his head, finally looking at you. He looks bewildered. Scared, even.

“My whole fuckin’ life- didn’t you?”

“No!” You cried desperately. “I told you, remember? Over text, the first time I talked to you! The day my tattoo appeared!”

“You were serious about that shit?” His voice is utter disbelief, eyebrows creasing together. “I thought- I thought-“

“What?”

“It’s- it’s not the first time somebody has gotten my number and told me they’re my fuckin’ soulmate. So I didn’t think it was real- thought you were jokin’ or somethi-“

“Excuse me?”

“It’s not- don’t,” He stutters, blushing just a bit. “Being a pro-hero, people always say weird shit to me for fame. So I’ve gotten that before- a fuckin’ random text saying they’re my soulmate.”

“What?” You ask, voice offended. “Who- why- I don’t get it-“

“Every hero gets ‘em- even one’s that don’t even have a fuckin’ soulmate.” Bakugou says. “I guess maybe they just text everybody or some shit- I don’t know? Didn’t matter to me I always jus’ blocked ‘em.”

You could hardly believe your ears, feeling winded as you brought a hand to your chest.

Bakugou had a tattoo- your name for his entire life.

He’d know about you his entire life.

Had been waiting on you for his entire life.

“Why- why’d you believe me?” You ask quietly. “If you didn’t believe the others, why me?”

“Ya told me your name.” He pulls aside his hospital gown, exposing the writing on his ribcage. “It’s- if ya didn’t, I wouldn’ta believed you.”

On his side, just under the last rib, is your name. It’s a simple tattoo- small, but it’s there, and in your handwriting.

“That’s my name.” You say dumbly.

“Obviously, sunshine.” He sort of laughs, something a little sad but a little happy too. “Only been waitin’ my entire life for your dumb ass.”

“Why didn’t you look for me?” You can’t help but ask, pressing your against against your suddenly stinging eyes. “If you knew- why?”

Bakugou goes quiet again, dropping his hospital gown back down. His tattoo is covered, but that doesn’t matter to you, you couldn’t forget the look of it if you tried.

It’s a long few moments before Bakugou speaks again.

“It wouldn’t- I wasn’t ready-“ His voice is low, quiet, the most vulnerable you’ve ever heard it be. “Before now- I wouldn’t have been good. For you.”

He sighs, shifting uncomfortably in the hospital bed.

“Think- I think maybe that’s why yours didn’t come in ‘till now. Wouldn’t of fuckin’ worked before.”

When you pull your palms away from your eyes, it’s like you’re seeing him again for the very first time.

It’s strange- the way your heart seems to be breaking entirely and rebuilding itself completely all at the same time. It’s a wave crashing against your ribs- pushing and pulling and tumbling and pushing and pulling and turning and twisting and- calming when you look at his face. When you look at the way his hair sits and the way his jaw slopes and the way his eyes meet yours. It’s death and completetion and rebirth and red, red wildfire.

It’s your old life scorching and curling and burning up. And it’s your new, better, warmer life rising from the ashes.

“God, I’m so fucking glad I said my name.” You gasp, tears freely falling from your eyes.

Bakugou smiles, so soft and warm and fond. “I know idiot.”

You just laugh at the name, choking on tears and snot and emotion, but you’re smiling. You’re smiling and smiling and it feels like you’re never gonna stop smiling. Will never have to again.

Because he’s him and you’re you and finally- finally, you’re together.

It takes a long while for you to calm down, for your tears to stop falling. But when you finally do, when you finally feel okay, Bakugou’s already looking at you.

So how long are ya plannin’ to fuckin’ stay, idiot?”

“Huh?” You shook your head, tears still drying on your cheeks. “I literally- but- but no- I- D-do you want me to leave?”

“No!” Bakugou groans in frustration. “That’s not- can’t ya just listen to the words I say without fuckin’ readin’ into them all the time?”

“Yes?” You say unsurely, but then your shoulders drop and you sigh. “Actually no. Probably not, sorry I-”

“I told you not to fuckin’ apologize, remember?”

“Yeah,” You say sadly. “But it’s not exactly that easy.”

The room is quiet again, and Bakugou is smoothing out his hospital gown, fidgeting with the tie on the side. He looks nervous, his cheeks red, and his voice comes out quiet and strained when he speaks.

“If- if I gotta work on me not screamin’ and bein’ angry all the time then you gotta stop apologizin’ and worryin’ so goddamn much.” He takes a deep breath, finally turning to look at you but only to just barely make eye contact. “It-we can fuckin’ do it together or whatever. Idiot.”

You blink, almost shaking your head in disbelief. Bakugou was sitting in front of you, blushing and grimacing and had just said something borderline sweet? Out loud? To you? You huff half a laugh when you look at him once more, at his intense eyebrows and his red cheeks and his pinched expression. He looked constipated. Like saying the words physically pained him.

You soulmate was an utter drama queen, a certifiable child- and you just found it adorable.

“Okay,” You wiped your final tears away, leaned forward on your elbows. Your chest hits the side of his hospital bed, and, extending your hand, you meet his eyes. “Pinky swear on it, then?”

“What? No! You makin’ fun of me? That’s- that’s-” Bakugou growls, but then he sees the hopeful look in your eyes. You watch as his irritated expression melts away and he grumbles as he extends his own hand. “Fine. Whatever.”

When you loop your pinky around his, pulling his arm until it lies flush against yours, you think it feels right. To be that close to him. To be touching him at all, really. You wonder if it’ll always feel like that- if the completeness you feel will ever fade.

You hope it doesn’t.

You think Bakugou must feel it too, his eyes focused on the way your skin meets. Something guarded in his gaze softens, almost minutely, but you don’t miss it.

“Happy?” He suddenly says. He waves your connected hands in the air, but makes no move to shake free from your grip. “Feel all fuckin’ better now, idiot?”

“Much.” You smile something small and tender. “Thanks, Katsuki.”

Pop.

You yank your hand back in surprise, jumping slightly at the tiny zap you’d just felt on your pinky. It didn’t hurt, didn’t feel like much really- If you had to compare it, it was very similar to tiny, electro-static shocks you’d felt before when touching carpet.

“Did- did you?”

“No!” He yells, hand still left in the air. “I didn’t so fuckin’ shut up about it- it was nothing! You didn’t feel anything! Nothing happened! It didn’t happen! I-”

Mid way through his rant, Bakugou grabs at you hand, awkwardly jabbing his fingers into your palm before he finally just laces then through yours. He continues like he didn’t, though, not taking a single breath between his words.

“-And even if I did- which I didn’t- it’s your fuckin fault! So just- so just shut up about it already!” He huffs, absolutely red in the face as he averts his eyes. He grumbles. “Idiot.”

You just smile, giving his hand a squeeze.

Bakugou won’t look at you, his eyes trained on quite literally anything else, but you think you seem him smile too. Something small, and unsure, and barely there- just the tiniest hint of his lip curling up.

He squeezes back.

--//--

hope u all enjoy,, luv u!!

#bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #mha fic #bnha soulmate au #bakugou soulmate textfic #bakugou imagine #bakugou series #bakugou x self insert #mha soulmate au #soulmate au

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mintwithchoco · 4 years ago

Text

loonathesmut: Tease

LOOΠΔ Kim Lip x Male Reader

Word Count: 7100 words

Categories: smut, oral, facefucking, facial, subtsundere! kim lip

note; finally after weeks of writing, i'm back with another story! this is a continuation to my first smut, so i suggest you read it first to understand the story a bit better.

this story is also dedicated to one of my favorite writer, @nsfwtwicecatcher ! since he likes giving kimberly lippington a facial, this is gift for him :3 happy belated birthday! (hopefully i'm not too late oof)

special thanks to @arrivalatdawn for helping me out with the story.

again, happy new year and enjoy! ;)

aff link

"That's all for today. Remember to read chapter 7 and 8 for our next class!" The lecturer said before everyone stood up to leave the lecture room.

You pack your notes and laptop into your bag hastily, rushing for your next event for the day.

"Hello, baby brother? Can I ask you for a little bit of help? I'm gonna be busy this Wednesday and we haven't finished packing up stuff for our move to the new dorm. Since half of us will be staying at the dorm to finish packing, I figured that they would need some...extra hand. Hopefully you can help out!"

You walked through the crowd of students while keeping a safe distance from them. You looked at the watch on your wrist. 12:14 p.m. You gasped silently and started to run, eventually reaching your car at the parking lot after almost hitting on a bunch of people on your way. Getting inside your car and taking a couple of deep breaths, you calmed the adrenaline rush in your body. After a few minutes, you start the engine, turn on the radio and drive off to loonathedorm.

20 minutes later, you finally arrive at the building where your stepsister's dorm was. You parked your car at a nearby parking lot, grabbing your stuff and a few bags of snacks that you purchased from a nearby convenience store. You make your way into the building and take the elevator up to the level where the dorm was at. As the elevator reaches the designated level, the door opened, revealing two people that you are all too familiar with.

"Oh, hi oppa!" "Hello oppa!" Both Heejin and Hyunjin greeted you.

"Hey! Where are you guys going?" You asked them as you got out of the elevator.

"We're gonna get some more boxes! We have too much stuff…" Heejin said while pouting. Hyunjin just stares at the plastic bags that you were holding.

"Oh, alright then. I bought some snacks, so be quick before the others finish it. And don't worry Hyunjin, I bought bread as well." You said, making Hyunjin smile.

"Thanks oppa!" Hyunjin responded.

"We'll be right back!" Heejin said and grabbed Hyunjin's hand as they went inside the elevator. You wave at them goodbye and head towards the dorm.

You arrive at the door within seconds. A nervous feeling suddenly came over you as this is the second time you are visiting the dorm. The first time was around a month ago, when Jinsoul invited you to Yeojin's birthday party. You haven't gotten closer to Jinsoul's other bandmates besides Heejin, Yerim and Jiwoo. You got close to them during their debut concert when you visited Jinsoul backstage. You pressed the doorbell followed with a nervous sigh. A few seconds was all it needed for the door to be opened by Chuu.

"Oppa! Come on in, we just started packing!" Jiwoo said in a happy tone.

"Perfect, right on time!" You said and went inside the dorm. Jiwoo goes back to her room to continue her work while you take off your jacket and shoes in the doorway. You hang up your jacket and put your shoes on an empty spot at the shoe rack. As you walk to the living room with the bags of snacks in hand, you look around the surrounding of the dorm.

The dorm was pretty clean but full of boxes scattered around containing the girls' stuff. It was a pretty small dorm for 12 people to live in, so you were happy that they are finally moving out after 3 years. You put the bags of snacks on the living room's table. Yerim suddenly appears in front of you , carrying a box that looked far too heavy for her. You quickly went to her and grabbed the box as her hands were getting shaky.

"Phew! Thanks oppa! You can put it there," Yerim said as she points to a stack of boxes beside the couch.

"No problem. This is really heavy, are there rocks inside?" You joked.

"It's just some clothes!" Yerim chuckled at your joke.

"Well, surely you have a lot of them. There you go." You put down the box carefully on top of a bigger box.

"Thanks oppa!" Yerim beams a cute smile at you.

"You're welcome. Have you guys eaten yet?" You asked her.

"No, we were too busy packing…"

"Well, I bought some snacks so-" You sit down on the couch and take out the snacks inside the plastic bags that you brought.

"Let's take a break!"

"Yeay! Thanks oppa!" Yerim sits on the couch and immediately opens up a bag of Cheetos.

"I'll get the others real quick." You stand up and head towards Jiwoo's room while Yerim munches down on the Cheetos. As you arrive there, Jiwoo is taping up a box while Jungeun is cleaning the windows.

"Hey guys! Are you done with your work yet?" You asked.

"Uhh, just a bit more oppa. I just have to tape up that box and I'm done!" Jiwoo replied.

"Alright then. Jungeun?"

"Can’t you see that I'm still cleaning?" Jungeun replied in a cold tone.

Kim Jungeun, a.k.a Kim Lip. Presumably, the sexiest member in LOONA. While her face emits the vibe of a charismatic woman, her personality is completely different. She has a great sense of humor as most of the memes in the LOONA fanbase are about her. She's also a caring and liable person. Jinsol once told you that she is one of the members that usually cooks for the others and she always loves cleaning around the house.

But, for some reason, she always seemed angry at you, keeping her words to a minimum and striking you with harsh facts sometimes. You asked Jinsol why she was acting that way and she simply replied with, "I don't know, maybe she's interested in you." You simply disagreed with her as there was no way you would fall in love with Jungeun since you have Jinsol embedded deep in your heart.

"Jungeun! That's not how you talk to oppa!" Jiwoo scolded Jungeun.

"It's fine. I just wanna say that the snacks are waiting for you guys and it won't take long before Yerim finishes it all,” You said and left the room to join Yerim back at the couch in the living room.

"Oh my god, you annihilated a bag of Cheetos already?!" You hold up the empty bag of Cheetos on the table.

"Hehe, sorry oppa! Can't help it," Yerim said while drinking her Coke.

"Is there any bread left?" Hyunjin bashed through the front door followed by Heejin who was holding a bunch of folded boxes. Both you and Yerim jumped in shock because of the sudden interruption. Hyunjin quickly sits beside Yerim and searches for her precious bread. Heejin puts the folded boxes at the hallway leading to the living room and joins the rest on the couch.

"Mmm~! Ish bwead ish sho fwuffy!” Hyunjin said as her mouth was already stuffed with bread.

“Yah, don’t talk when your mouth is full! Especially when oppa’s around,” Heejin said as she grabbed a pack of candies from one of the plastic bags.

“It’s fine, it was cute anyways,” Hyunjin choked and spat out her drink as she heard your compliment. Heejin and Yerim just laughed at her as she was coughing pretty badly.

Eventually, Jiwoo and Jungeun joined in after a few minutes. The room was quickly filled with conversations, the girls talked about their successful comeback while you talked about how you almost burned your house down when learning how to make macarons.

Whenever you talk, you realize that Jungeun will always focus on you, even though she was keeping a straight face. She spoke the least out of the six of you and will constantly nod or shake her head to a question. At one point, you made eye contact with her and in a split second, she turned her face away from you, hiding her shyness.

‘What's up with her?’ you thought.

But the conversation that was happening was too interesting for you to think about it furthermore.

2:15 p.m. All of you start packing the girls’ room items. Your job was mainly to pick up the boxes or lift some furniture since you are the only male there. Sounded easy, right? That was your thought before Kim Jungeun caught your attention with her outfit. She was wearing a black tank top that didn't do well on covering up her black bra underneath and black tight shorts that were showing off her beautiful legs.

You wondered why she picked that outfit for the day as it was clearly uncomfortable for her. Her top was always slipping down everytime she moved, allowing you to see her cleavage. You tried to avoid looking at her but she keeps coming into your sight as if it was intentional. Your lower region was starting to get warm and it was definitely not the right time to get a hard-on. You kept thinking about gross things that can help your boner to calm down but the moment when Jungeun bent down to pick up some stuff right in front of you, it was game over. You immediately go to the toilet to cover up your raging boner before any of the girls notices it.

About two hours later, Heejin taped up the final box, officially ending all of the work. All of you sit down on the couch and let out a sigh of relief. You were grateful that no one notices your bulge throughout all of that, otherwise you would be dying because of embarrassment.

“Hey guys! Sooyoung unnie just texted me that they are at the arcade nearby, should we join them?” Jiwoo asked while looking at her phone.

“Heck yeah!” Heejin excitedly replies.

“Oppa, are you going too?” Yerim asked you.

“Nah, you guys go ahead, I’ll just wait for noona here.”

“Lip unnie?” Hyunjin asked Jungeun.

“I’m too lazy…” Jungeun said and slowly laid down on the couch.

“Okay then, let’s get ready!” Jiwoo said and went to her room, followed by Heejin, Hyunjin and Yerim.

“Don’t bother me unless it’s something important.” Jungeun said to you before going back into her own room. You just shrugged off what she said and played around with your phone. After seeing the girls leave, you turn on the TV and watched a drama to kill time. You thought that Jungeun had already fallen asleep since she is tired and you didn’t hear any sounds from her room.

An hour passes by and your stomach starts to grumble. The snacks earlier didn’t really fill up your stomach, so you decided to cook some ramen. Before going into the kitchen, you remember about Jungeun and decide to ask her if she wants some. You walk up to her room’s door and knock gently.

“Hey, I’m gonna cook some ramen, do you want some?” You asked through the door.

“Ugh..hah,” You hear Jungeun’s voice through the door. It sounds like she is struggling, you thought. You knock on the door again.

“Are you okay in there?” No answer.

“Do you need help?” Still no answer.

Worried about her, you swiftly open the door. Your eyes search for Jungeun who was fixing the window curtains while tip-toeing on a chair to help her reach it. She didn’t notice your presence at all and was struggling with the curtains as it was stuck on the curtain rod. Before you can ask her anything, your attention suddenly diverts to her back that is facing you. You slowly eye her from head to toe a few times before locking your eyes onto her ass. Heck, you know it was wrong, but who can resist closing their eyes to this perfect and handful butt? You were hypnotized, dirty thoughts were already generated in your brain as you stared at them longer.

Suddenly, Jungeun loses her balance as her right foot slips on the chair and makes her fall. Luckily, you were there and reacted quickly enough to catch her from falling. Jungeun was shocked to see you catch her. Not to mention, she perfectly landed onto your arms and you both were in an awkward position of a bridal carry. Time stops for you as your eyes land onto hers, seeing another side of Kim Jungeun who was always giving you cold glares. You feel her body getting warmer on your arms and her cheeks turn red.

“Are you okay?” You asked her.

“Y-Yeah..you can put me down now..” Jungeun spoke in a soft tone for the first time with you, making you also blush at how cute she sounds. You gently put her feet first on the floor and removed your arms from her legs and her back. The air around the both of you was getting awkward and after a few seconds of silence, Jungeun finally speaks.

“Why did you come into my room, pervert?” Jungeun was back to her cold self but her shyness still remains visible on her cheeks.

“Chill out, I was just asking you if you wanted some ramen or not. And, if I didn’t barge into your room, you could end up with a back pain.” You answered back, making Jungeun sigh.

“You got a point. I am feeling hungry right now so why not. I’ll cook though, I don’t trust you in the kitchen.” Jungeun said before heading to the kitchen followed by you.

“The bags of ramen are on the right cabinet. If you wanna add in some more stuff, look in the fridge.” Jungeun said while washing her hands. You simply nod and open the cabinet that Jungeun pointed out. You grabbed three bags of spicy chicken flavored ramen and placed them on the kitchen counter. As you are about to check out the fridge for some ingredients, you saw that Jungeun is struggling once again, this time with getting a pot on the top of the cabinet.

“You know that it’s easy to ask for help, right?” You said and went behind her to reach the pot. Jungeun’s eyes widened as both of your bodies are closer to each other once again. She looks at your face that is focusing on the pot. Seeing how much you like to help her out makes her feel something funny. As she thinks about it longer, she starts to blush madly and her heart pounds fast until she realizes that you had grabbed the pot and saw her blushing.

“Here.” You said while giving her the pot, ignoring the fact that she is blushing.

“Thanks..” Jungeun replied, feeling relieved that you didn’t ask further.

After the little sweet moment, both of you start on making the ramen. You mostly prepared the ingredients while Jungeun does the mixing and cooking. 25 minutes later, Jungeun places the pot of hot ramen that is ready to be served on the dining table, which you have already cleaned and prepared with bowls and chopsticks. The savory aroma of the ramen fills the air, making you drool even more. Both of you sat down at the dining table, facing each other and started to dig in. You scooped a spoonful of the ramen with the ladle and put it in your bowl. You lifted up some of the ramen noodles with your chopsticks, gently blowing onto it to cool it down before putting it in your mouth.

"Mmm! So Jinsol noona was telling the truth about your cooking," You complimented her as the ramen you tasted was very delicious.

"Of course she would tell the truth. But I feel like I've added too much spice.." Jungeun said before taking a sip on her drink to reduce the heat on her tongue.

"I can handle the spice though, you're not that big of a spicy fan eh?" You said, continuing to slurp on the noodles.

“Shut up.”

A few minutes passed by and the pot was already empty. You both are still eating the last bits of the noodles in your bowls. Jungeun is fanning her clothes, feeling hot because of the spiciness of the ramen. This allows you to have a great view of her cleavage under her tank top once more, which almost made you spat out the noodles in your mouth. Even though the air conditioner was turned on, sweat formed on her forehead and her neck and your eyes focused on the beads of her sweat that was dripping down her cleavage. You gulped. Jinsol would probably kill you right now as your cock started to grow hard again.

“I feel so hot…” Jungeun said as she kept fanning her clothes that were drenched.

“You really are hot, Kim Jungeun.” You say softly, not wanting to be called out as a pervert by Jungeun again. You both finished up the food eventually and you offered to wash the dishes since she helped to cook the food. It was also a way for you to cover your bulge that is sticking out. You cleaned up the dining table and brought the dishes to the kitchen sink to wash them while Jungeun went back to her room.

You dry off your hand with a cloth near the sink after washing all of the dishes. You walked back to the living room and saw Jungeun doing yoga in front of the TV. She was still wearing the tank top from earlier, but has changed her shorts into leggings which hugged her thighs and her cute butt perfectly. She is doing a position where her feet and her hands are on the ground while her hips and her torso are kept high, like a certain sex position. You were stunned at your place, completely seduced by her sensual aura that is making you hard for the third time. You watch every part of her body like a hawk, gradually increasing your arousal level as you already think about how to take her down. You quickly put that thought away once Jungeun realizes that you are looking at her.

“W-Why are you doing yoga at this time?” You ask her before she could say anything in hope that she won’t call you out.

“I wanna work off the ramen that we just ate.” Jungeun said before moving into another position. This time, she lays down her body flat onto the yoga mat and lifts only her torso up with her hands, allowing her butt to clench and showing you how perfect it looks. You bit your lips at the sight, thinking how easily you could rip her leggings off and fuck her ass right at that moment. But you surely don’t want to be killed by Jungeun for suddenly invading her privacy so you have to keep your cool.

You slowly walk towards the couch and sat there while Jungeun is focusing on the TV that is playing a yoga guide show. You pull out your phone from your pocket and play around with it to distract yourself from staring at her body. As she wasn't looking at you, you fixed up your pants to hide your boner. You scroll through your phone, opening up apps that you never really open while burning the image of you fucking Jungeun in your head. After a while with a few more position changes, the yoga guide show is almost at the end as there is one more position to do. Jungeun lays down on her back and raises up her legs while bending her knees. She places her knees around her shoulder area and her arms on her feet to exert some pressure on it.

The position is called Happy Baby as said on the TV, but to you, it just looks like she was ready to receive a cock in her pussy. Because she is on the floor, her crotch area is exposed to you and your imagination of stripping her naked in that position is starting to flow. Your dick was painfully hard at this point, and your patience is starting to run out. Eventually, you stand up, planning to let out your desires in the toilet until Jungeun stops you.

"Giving up already?" Jungeun said in a teasing manner.

"I'm sorry?" You pretended to be confused.

"Hm, still want to defend yourself eh? I know you're having a boner right now." Jungeun releases herself from the position earlier, stands up and gets closer to you. Your eyes widen as you are getting exposed by her.

"I've noticed that you've been eyeing my body, especially my ass." Jungeun gives you a little smirk while crossing her arms.

"I-I'm sorry, I-"

"Shh...There's no need for that. I'll forgive you, but with one condition..." Jungeun gently pushes you back to the couch and straddles your lap. She brought her lips to your right ear and blew hot breath onto it, making you squirm under her body.

"Please me, just like how you did to Jinsol unnie."

The gentleman switch inside your body was turned off once you hear those alluring words. You wrapped her legs around your hips and lifted her up to carry her to somewhere comfortable. You made your way to her bedroom and pinned her down to the bed, not caring to close the door since there is no one else that can witness this sinful act.

"You are going to regret saying that, Miss Kim Jungeun." You leaned your head closer to her and pressed your lips against hers. The taste of her cherry lips makes its way into your taste buds while she reciprocates by moaning into your mouth. You feel her body is getting warmer with each passing second and her kisses are getting a bit more rough. Her tongue asks for entrance in your mouth, so you part your lips and both of your tongues dance while exchanging saliva into each other's mouth. Your hands makes their way down to her thick thighs, the culprit that has made your dick feel pain throughout the three times you got hard for her. You moved your hand up and down, caressing it to show your affection. As you continue to explore each other’s mouth, both of your breaths are decreasing overtime so Jungeun pushes you away from her lips and pants heavily.

“Jinsol unnie was right, you are a great kisser.” Jungeun says and wraps her arms around your neck. You looked deep into her brown eyes and admired her facial features. You gotta admit, she is one of the most beautiful women that you have ever seen, alongside Jinsoul of course. Her gaze that was filled with lust enamored your heart, making it beat faster than normal.

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” Jungeun asks you and you unhesitantly nodded to her question.

“Eat my pussy out until I cum, then I’ll let you fuck my face.” Jungeun moves her body back to the headboard of the bed, inviting you to strip her naked. Like a cat, you crawl towards her and tower over her body. You grab the bottom hem of her tank top and pull it upwards. Jungeun raises her arms to allow you to remove it from her slim body and throw it away somewhere in the room. Even though Jungeun is not as thick as Hyejoo or as curvy as Jinsol, her body is still a killer, packed with a sexy ribcage, a small waist and of course, beautiful legs.

Your lips instantly latched on her neck, giving her a few kisses here and there to increase the tension between you both. The sweet scent of her perfume was still there despite her being sweaty because of the spiciness of the ramen and the yoga that she did earlier. Jungeun moaned softly at your kisses but tries to silence herself to keep her cold act. Feeling a bit bolder now, your hands slowly reach behind her and unhook her black bra. You heard the hooks come off one by one, eventually letting her bra fall down by itself. A sigh of relief was also heard by you as Jungeun felt the tension on her chest was released. Her perky breasts were finally revealed to you - Jinsol is bigger than her, but you can say that they are pretty handful.

“Fuck, you’re so hot Jungeun.” You say before planting a quick peck on her lips.

Unable to contain your lust for her anymore, you forcefully grab onto her leggings and rip them open, earning a screech from Jungeun that you always hear in the LOONA memes compilation videos on YouTube. “Hey! Calm your hormones down! Thank god that this is already ripped, otherwise I will be chopping your dick off.” Jungeun was slightly mad at you for destroying her leggings but thankfully, she was okay with it.

You continue to strip her naked by peeling off the ripped leggings off her legs. As you throw away her bra and her leggings off the bed, you are slightly shocked to see Jungeun wasn’t wearing any panties underneath her leggings and is now fully naked right in front of you. Fully mesmerized by the sight, your cock was begging to be released from its confines. But, you already had a deal with her - make her cum and you’ll get a facefuck. Easy.

“Are you gonna eat me out or-ahh..” Jungeun let out a soft moan as you drive your hands towards her clit that is already wet with her juices. You traced her clit with your fingers as you watch Jungeun’s face gradually easing into the pleasure. Jungeun closes her eyes and leans back while you smirk, thinking that she is now under your control. As you continue to move your fingers on her clit, Jungeun spreads her legs and throws her head back, giving you the approval to taste her.

Your hands have moved itself to her thighs to keep her in place while you eat her pussy out. Steadily moving your head down to her glistening clit, you stick out your tongue and lick the juices on her clit, making Jungeun squirm slightly. She tastes sweet and you are addicted to it right away. Not wasting anymore time, you capture her clit with your lips and swirl your tongue, making small circles around it. Jungeun’s hands made it to your hair, gripping onto it tightly as you keep giving her clit the attention that it wants. You feel the burning sensation on your scalp but nothing matters at this point. The only focus that you have at this point is to give Jungeun what she desires.

No progress will be made if you keep using your mouth, so you start moving your hands to her clit and use your fingers to stimulate it. Jungeun's pussy continues to flow out more nectar and her eyes roll back in satisfaction. You pull your lips away from her clit and teased her splayed lips using two fingers before pushing them into her warm and tight cavern. Jungeun reacted with an erotic moan once your fingers enter her body. Moving the joints of your two fingers inside her pussy causes her to flinch around and breathe heavily. She equips herself with a pillow nearby to muffle her moans in reason to keep her tsundere character alive.

You pull your fingers away from her clit slowly and thrust it back inside her deeper than before. You repeat this action several times and eventually find a perfect rhythm. Jungeun was not expecting you to be this good as her moans were getting louder each time you thrust into her. After a few more thrusts, you felt a certain type of flesh inside her pussy has made contact with the tip of your fingers. Jungeun immediately reacts by pulling your hair harder and bucking her hips onto your face even more.

“F-Fuck yeah, that’s the spot...keep doing that,”

Upping the pace of your thrusts into her, you continue to hit her g-spot. Your lips latch onto her clit once again, this time with your tongue assisting your fingers to thrust into her pussy better. Jungeun has lost control over her body, shaking violently and constantly screaming out curse words into the pillow she is holding.

Suddenly, Jungeun lets out the loudest scream into the pillow. Her thighs spontaneously wrap itself around your head, locking you in as she climaxes. You feel her juices flowing into your mouth like a waterfall and drenching your palm at the same time. Her orgasm was really big as you failed to keep all of her juices in your mouth. When you feel that her thighs have weakened its grip on your head, marking the end of her orgasm, you pull out your fingers from her pussy and lapped up the excess juice on her folds. You gulp down on her sweet cum and with a big sigh, you move your face away from her thighs.

There is no other sight that can beat the sight that you have now right in front of you. Jungeun’s face was flushed with satisfaction, her legs were still spread open and her chest was heaving up and down as she was still in a daze after her strong climax just now. You smiled, admiring how much of a mess that she has made.

“Hah..v-very well then, you have impressed me. Now, for your reward.” Jungeun said before moving herself away and pushed you to the headboard, replacing her spot earlier.

She straddles your lap once again and smashes her lips onto yours, tasting herself in your mouth that was filled with her cum just now. In the meantime, her hands find the hem of your pants, reaches inside and drags it off your legs. Pulling her lips away from you after several minutes, Jungeun’s face makes its way down to your crotch that shows off your prominent bulge under your boxers. You squirmed as Jungeun cups your bulge and blows a hot breath onto it. She licks the tip of your penis through the thin fabric of your boxers before pulling it down to uncover your penis. You felt the cold air around the room on your shaft, making it throb and twitch harder.

“Hmm, not as big as I thought, but surely this is enough.” You felt a bullet was shot through your heart.

Jungeun places her hand on the base of your cock, causing it to leak out precum from your slit. She licks her lips before painting a strip of saliva along the underside of your shaft and stopping on the tip. You moaned as Jungeun spits all over your cock and starts sucking on your tip. Her tongue collects all of your precum while her hand spreads her saliva all over your cock, not leaving any parts of it dry. Your cock continued to throb in her small hand alongside your moans that are beginning to increase in volume.

You can’t believe that the cold Kim Jungeun is now on your cock, giving you the fantasy that you desired. Spitting more saliva onto your cock, her hand glides up and down you with no resistance. Her lips detached itself from your tip, giving her fingers access to it to trace your slit and releasing more of your liquid. Jungeun giggles at the expressions that you were making.

“You really are a pervert…” Jungeun said before indulging your cock into her mouth.

Your body weakens once you feel the insides of her mouth with your cock. Jungeun began to bob her head up and down while still grabbing a hold on the base of your shaft. You brought your hand to her head, running your fingers through the soft blonde strands of hair. As she looked up at you, you realized that she looks gorgeous with a cock in her mouth, a sight that will surely make any man happy. Her mouth continued to fill itself with your length until you felt your tip reach the back of her mouth, causing her to gag loudly. Your hands automatically hold her head as the warmness of her mouth and the lustful gag that she lets out is driving you into maximum pleasure.

Jungeun taps on your thigh after a while as she was losing some oxygen. You quickly removed your hand from the back of her head and Jungeun releases her mouth from your cock with a pop, leaving strings of saliva along the way. She takes this time to breath properly to prepare herself for the next act.

“Get off the bed and fuck my mouth.”

You got off the bed quickly while Jungeun gets on her knees. After you remove the last piece of your clothing, she parts her lips, ready to receive your cock again. You hold onto both sides of her head and push a few inches of your cock into her mouth. You start your thrusting with a slow rhythm to make her feel comfortable. As she looks up to you with a gaze filled with lust, you push your shaft even more, causing saliva to escape from the sides of her mouth. When your shaft hits the back of her mouth, she gags on your cock, followed by teardrops on her eyes as she is on cloud nine on how well you are using your reward.

Developing a faster rhythm as time goes by, Jungeun’s face is starting to get messy with her tears and her saliva. You didn’t care about it since you were chasing on your own desires. Sweat formed on your forehead as you fuck her mouth harder. An idea suddenly popped into your mind and after one final deep thrust, you withdrew your cock out of her mouth. Jungeun hyperventilates once you release your grip on her head and wipes off the excessive saliva on her face with her hand.

“Impressive...considering that you haven’t cum yet, you are allowed to fu-” Jungeun was cut off by you grabbing her arms and pinning her to the bed.

“I’m done with you being in charge, now let me take over.” You said sternly, emphasizing on the words, ‘take over’.

Your lust for her was unstoppable at this point. Turning her body around, her face was now buried into the bed. You forcefully grabbed her hips and bent her knees, allowing her hips to stay up. Raising her head slightly to look at you, Jungeun was stunned at your changed behavior. She found it rather attractive, how your eyes were burning with lust and how rough your actions were getting.

As your hands were still on her hips, you moved them to her butt and gently squeezed her cheeks, causing Jungeun to squirm under your touch. Seems like your idea is starting to work out. Using your right hand to stroke your hard cock a few times, you line it up with the pink lips of her pussy that was radiating with heat. Jungeun feels your tip nudging at her entrance and bites her lip once you push it in further. With a satisfied grunt, a few inches of your cock is finally in her cunt. Her walls were suffocating your cock with its tightness but you ignored the pain that you were feeling. Your hips begin to move, thrusting your shaft into her in a slow manner. Her juices were smearing your length, allowing it to slide in and out of her pussy with ease. Jungeun buries her face into the bed to silence her moans, not wanting to show herself falling into your dominance.

You realize what she was doing and you definitely didn’t like it. So, you grab a handful of her long blonde hair and pull it towards you, raising her head so that you can hear her lewd moans. Jungeun stayed strong however, holding her breath a few times and biting her lips harder to resist herself from moaning. Increasing the rhythm of your thrust into her tight cavern, your goal is to make her moan and give up on her tsundere character. Her body shakes in your arms as your thrusts get more aggressive, considering how you are gritting your teeth while pounding her. You lean your body onto her back and rest your head on her shoulder, giving kisses on her neck right after.

“I know that you’re enjoying this, so drop the tough act already,” You gave her butt a harsh slap before bringing your lips closer to her ears.

“And moan for me.”

Like a spark ignited in her body, Jungeun finally lets out her beautiful moans. You smirked, delighted at the fact that Jungeun is now under your spell, which is the pleasure that you are giving her. You continue to thrust into her warm walls even further, increasing the volume of her moans before putting an end to your rhythm and pulling out your cock out of her body, earning a whine from Jungeun.

“Tell me how much you love my cock.” You grab her by the neck and gently squeeze it to force out an answer from her.

“I love your cock so much oppa! Please keep fucking this slut until she cums!” Jungeun screamed.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” You said and gave her ass two hard slaps.

“Ahh! I-I’m sorry oppa…”

“Lay down on the bed. Now.” Your cold tone sent shivers down Jungeun’s spine and quickly enough, she laid back down on the bed and waited for your actions.

You climb back on the bed and move towards her, putting her under your body. You gave her a quick peck on her lips before spreading her legs apart and lining up your cock with her damp pussy once again.

“You can’t cum until I say so. If you cum, I won’t hesitate to punish you.” You said and immediately inserted your cock back into her pussy, making Jungeun scream with ecstasy.

The intensity between you both was at its limit as Jungeun leaked out more and more of her juices from her pussy and your cock throbs harder inside the tight grip of her pussy. Your head leans closer to hers, intently gazing into her heavenly brown eyes that filled with passion and desire. At that moment, Jinsol was completely lost in your mind as you have fallen in love with the woman right in front of you named Kim Jungeun. The rhythm of your pounding never slowed down, instead it keeps going faster and harder. Although your back is starting to emit sweat, your lust for her powers your body to keep going.

No other sounds were heard in the room except for the squelching of her wet and warm walls receiving your shaft, the squeaking of the bed because of your hard thrusts and the symphony of moans from the both of you. Challenging Jungeun’s endurance, your hands land on her perky breasts and begin to knead it gently, aiming to stimulate her into her orgasm. Her pink nipples erect once you use your fingers on them, pinching and pulling it until you replace it with your lips. Gently sucking on her right nipple, a persistent flow of high-pitched moans escapes Jungeun’s lips as the pleasure was too much for her.

“Oppa…please...” Jungeun begged you.

“Giving up already?” You said with a smirk, referencing her words earlier.

Without giving a care to her words, you keep penetrating her hot flesh while teasing her tits. The tip of your cock came into contact with her g-spot and Jungeun screams out your name. You were in euphoria, the pleasure that you were getting was a lot for a man to have. The knot in your stomach is starting to build itself, signaling your upcoming orgasm.

"Do you want to cum baby?"

"Yes please! I want to cum all over your cock pleease!"

"Then, cum. Cover my cock with your cum." You demanded.

Jungeun came instantly. You feel as the walls of her vagina gripped onto your shaft. Her juices gushed out everywhere, mainly coating your cock and your balls. Some leaked out and landed on her bed. Her orgasm was bigger than the first one, acknowledging how you have successfully raised her senses.

"B-Baby..I'm close..." You alerted her.

"O-Outside…" Jungeun weakly replied.

Hearing her words made your brain come up with one decision. You fuck her in a relentless pace as the knot in your stomach grew tighter. Feeling your cock is twitching inside her, you immediately pull out from her tight pussy and straddle her torso, aiming your cock right in front of her face. Jungeun was still weak from her orgasm just now and didn't realize what you were doing. You stroke your cock with a fast motion, easily sliding in and out of your hand because of her juices lubricating it. Eventually, with a big groan, streaks of white and thick semen burst out of your tip, painting Jungeun's enticingly beautiful face. She closes her eyes as she comes back to her senses with more ropes of cum landing on her cheeks and her forehead.

After the last streak of your cum lands on her nose, her gorgeous face is fully covered. You sighed and admired the mess that you had made, the cum that was dripping down and the satisfied expression pictured on Jungeun’s face. Jungeun slowly opened her eyes to be greeted with your sweet smile and your cock that was still throbbing. She was lost in your eyes for a brief moment but suddenly, she pushes you away from her.

“Goddamnit, now I have to clean your filth off, ugh...” Jungeun said and went to the bathroom to wash her face.

“Jungeun I-” You sighed as she closed the bathroom door.

Jungeun looked at herself in the mirror from head to toe. Her thighs were stained with her own cum, her nipples were still erect due to your teasing and of course, her face was coated with your semen. She smiled. Licking a bit of your creamy semen on her lips, she squealed at how she finally tasted a part of you. Worried that you might leave soon as she has another plan set up with you, she quickly washed her face at the sink and got out of the bathroom. You didn’t realize that Jungeun was already out of the bathroom and were about to wear your clothes before a hand stopped you from doing so.

“Shower with me?”

#loona smut #kim lip smut #loona #kim lip #kpop smut #kpop fanfiction #reader insert #male reader

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