#anyway: happy birthday old man

[doesnt-own-a-sportscoat]

Ray Sharkey and Michael Ontkean in Willie and Phil (1980) directed by Paul Mazursky

____

Phil is an aspiring photographer. He and Willie snap some pictures together while discussing Plato, Shakespeare and baseball before deciding to call up some models. That’s just what two close pals do.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Not once have I regretted the things that I did. I only ever regret the things that I did not do.

Happy Birthday Atsushi Nakajima!! (05.05)

[striveattemptfail]

a cursed realization: wade and logan are old men. logan especially so.

they MUST have weird old man habits and general body weirdness. and not the endearing shit like preferring to use old school tech, or having a "get off my lawn, my favourite miscreants" kinda attitude, or being unable to keep up in sex, or any of that kinda cute stuff

i mean the unpleasant sweaty old man smell, having walking farts, snoring while awake, their stomachs just making noises for no goddamn reason bc their digestive systems are no longer 30 y/o

all of which they don't even realize they're doing bc they're old and either a) have more pressing things to worry about [at their age]; b) stopped giving a fuck; or c) both of the above

source: i live with two very old men (my dad and uncle). one is a few years away from retirement and the other is already at that age. they are family but they are still gross old men who act like drunk uncles given half the chance

and while neither logan or wade are in their 60s, these habits don't just magically appear once you hit that age. they begin long before that and accumulate over time until the stinky old man package is complete

"but jercy," you say, "they have perfect regeneration!! they can't have any health problems!! they're too self-conscious to be that gross!!"

1: (re: perfect regeneration) that is an even worse argument for wade, who has mega cancer and canonically does not smell pleasant or have a properly functioning body. he'd 100% have old man problems as a symptom of his cancer bc his mutation is physically keeping him in a constant state of dying. everything he does is out of sheer stubbornness and willpower to make a joke out of his life

1b: to play on a popular headcanon: any aromatic, artificial fruity skincare routine he has can easily be used as a reason for him to cover up his old man smell

2: see point B above for logan

2b: see the movie, logan (2017), or the comic, death of wolverine (2014), for the fact that logan can canonically age/die. albeit it's at a vastly slower pace than everyone else, but it means logan WILL eventually have these issues with his body too, if he doesn't have them already

2c: feral/animalistic logan who takes on animal traits would be so much worse bc wolverines are called "skunk bears" for a reason. wolverines (and any wildlife/animal that you can compare logan to) fucking STINK!! they have EVEN GROSSER ANIMAL HABITS!! you just gotta accept it

3: (re: self-consciousness) you got a point there, but once again refer to point B. most folks i know at their age are on their way to or have already stopped caring about what others think of them. and even if wade and logan are somehow the exceptions to this, i'm sure they let loose in private and probably indulge in their grosser habits when they're alone

4: if you want biblically accurate old man yaoi you're gonna have to contend with the fact that it comes with the non-sexy old man problems. i'm sorry i have to break the illusion but this is the reality we must face together

5: suspension of disbelief, friends. do engage with that once in a while lol

in conclusion: i unfortunately have every bit of confidence that wade and logan are not exempt from old man behaviours and bodily functions and i will die whining about it. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[arancia-con-un-coltello]

[leviiackrman]

"Always have an escape plan. And if all else fails? Break a window."

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[soutsuji]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TSUJIMURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More versions under the cut

[fratboykate]

Papi, are you alive? Thunderbolts trailer leaked and we got Hailee back from the dead (and there's the movie with Andrew and Florence and its KYAU coded as fuck) Kate and Yelena content galor this week. PLEASE COME BACK. We've been deprived for a year. It's been jail for too long. Grace us with Kate x Yelena content again. Pretty please.

*taps mic* Is this thing on?

[sheepydwagondraws]

REACH H E A V E N THROUGH [Helium] !

[sn0wbat]

sparkle on, tiberius ✨

[doesnt-own-a-sportscoat]

Willie and Phil (1980) directed by Paul Mazursky

A flashback to Willie Kaufman attempting to dodge the draft.

[buckleydiazmp4]

[manderleyfire]

The Prince of Darkness took me in his arms. And I almost gave myself the works. But I haven't let it go to my head. <...> Hey, what happened back there? Someone declared war.

Inside Daisy Clover (1965), directed by Robert Mulligan

[carcarrot]

LAURENCE HARVEY a.k.a. LARUSHKA MISCHA / ZVI MOSHEH SKIKNE (born october 1st, 1928 - died november 25th, 1973)

“I always believed in Laurence Harvey, even when nobody else did. Especially when nobody else did.”

“Most people imagined they knew and understood Larry with little trouble. That was a big mistake. They didn't know how deep and complex, how elusive, he remained behind his social mask.” - Paulene Stone, his wife

“I cannot yield to failure, it would make far too many people happy.”

[wickedlittleoz]

Hanzo is three, dashing down the halls in the estate to the agony of his nanny, who's trying her best to catch up to him after he ran off while she was using the bathroom. He's giggling, excited, tiny hands reaching out before him for whatever they can grab onto; diving under legs and furniture, until at last he reaches the desired door: his baby brother's nursery.

"Mama!" He calls out, small knuckles rasping against the door softly. There's a minute of pause before his mother comes to the door and in the meantime the nanny finally manages to reach him. She quickly scoops him into her arms as he wiggles and whines.

The door slides open and the nanny is quick to bow her head and say, "I'm very sorry, madam-"

With a kind smile and a gentle tone, the woman cuts in, "Not a problem. It's his big day, right Hanzo?"

Though she's holding a week-old Genji in her arms, Hanzo throws himself at her and she leans in to kiss his face and give him a sideway hug. "Here, say happy birthday to your big brother, Genji," she coos softly as the baby stares up at them with big, round, curious eyes.

Hanzo leans closer to the newborn as the nanny pulls him back. "Be gentle, now," his mother says when he inches closer again. He presses a very soft kiss to Genji's forehead and the baby giggles in response. Both women laugh at the cuteness of that moment.

-

Hanzo is ten, sitting quietly on a bench, watching as about a dozen kids in Halloween costumes run around the estate grounds. Genji is among them, his vampire cape flapping behind him in the cold night breeze. He sighs, looking down at the bag of sweets in his hands, full to the brim. But none of it is his - it's Genji's.

It's all about Genji these days.

The crunch of heavy feet on gravel has him involuntarily straightening his back. The hand lands on his nape, strong and controlling.

"Get your brother," Sojiro says without looking down at Hanzo. "We're cutting the cake."

He backs off without another word and Hanzo breathes in relief. Sometimes, like now, he misses mother so much it hurts. But he can't show his pain to anyone, doesn't want father to think he's weak. So he collects himself and gets up, calling out for Genji and their friends.

When they stand side by side at their shared birthday table, Hanzo realizes they forgot to write his name on the cake. The family governess has to add a "And Hanzo!" at the end of Happy birthday to you because father calls out Genji's name and claps loudly as if that were the end of the song and there was no one else worth mentioning.

He feels sick, like he might throw up on the cake, so as soon as the singing is over and everyone is busying themselves with candies, he disappears from the crowd and locks himself up in his bedroom. He doesn't come out until the next morning, when everyone - including him - can pretend nothing out of the ordinary happened.

-

Hanzo is twenty-two, blowing cigarette smoke into the night air at the window. He knows that he should sleep, but can't seem to relax. This room feels too big for him, as do the shoes that he's having to fill since father's very recent death. He's been trained for this job all his life, but now that it's here, he doesn't feel prepared.

The door behind him slides open and he doesn't have to look to know that it's Genji. Hanzo continues staring at the cloudless sky until a body presses behind his, one arm going around his middle and the other reaching out until Genji steals the cigarette from his hand.

They smoke in silence for a moment. Genji puts out the butt on the windowsill and he finally glances towards his brother, reprimanding. All Genji does is smirk; he'd done it on purpose, to get Hanzo's attention.

The hand around his waist crawls all the way up to his hair, brushing gently at his temples. He feels as Genji tries to curl it around his fingers, but his hair is too short now, so he just plays adoringly with it.

"It's almost time," Genji says in a whisper. "I got you a present."

Hanzo looks at him again, eyebrows shooting up. Genji has never been most thoughtful... But maybe losing father has made him realize people can just. Be gone someday, out of nowhere. It has certainly made Hanzo painfully aware of that.

"You shouldn't have," he says, but as Genji's hand travels once again to wrap around his, he allows himself to be dragged away from the window and walked back towards the bed.

When he sits at the end of the bed, Genji is quick to once again curl himself around Hanzo's body; one of his legs around his back, the other over his lap, chest glued to Hanzo's side. He holds Genji's waist and watches as he pulls a tiny velvet bag from his pocket. He tugs at Hanzo's free hand until he's holding it out, palm up, so he can dump the contents of the bag in Hanzo's hold.

It's a pair of golden bands that he immediately recognizes as their parents' wedding rings. Hanzo gasps, hand shaking as if the metal could burn him. His stomach feels cold as he stares at the rings and tears threaten to spill from his eyes; he misses mother more than ever, and even though losing father felt like freedom, he misses what he represented in their lives - the figure of authority that Hanzo didn't have to be.

"Hanzo," Genji starts and he forces his eyes to move to his brother's face. "It's you and me now."

This thought, though to Genji it might mean something else, to him is a relief. He has Genji, so what else could Hanzo need? Besides, he is at the head of the family now, and he wants his brother at his side. He will have it his way.

There are tears in Genji's eyes, too, when he adds, "I'm yours if you're mine."

And for the first time since father died, Hanzo allows himself to cry.

He pulls his hand free from Genji's waist and takes the ring, slides it reverently onto the finger that his brother holds out. Cries silently as Genji does the same to him. When they kiss, it tastes like fear, salt and love.

-

Hanzo is twenty-five, hands shaking and covered in blood as he fumbles with Genji's corpse for the wedding ring. His katana rests at his feet, bloodied and sharp.

He did not have things his way.

-

Hanzo is thirty, barging uninvited into the Shimada estate to make an offering to Genji's spirit in the temple. His katana rests on the altar like a trophy. Genji lives in his heart.

-

Hanzo is forty-one, climbing to his feet and crossing his room in Gibraltar in silent strides. The old bag he hides at the back of his wardrobe has a secret compartment, a hole in the lining that he's used for over a decade now to hide a certain box.

When he returns to the bed, heart racing with anxiety, Genji is still blinking awake. But he smiles a sleepy thing and reaches out for Hanzo, who slips back into his arms. Genji spends a good minute laying a plethora of kisses over his face, neck, arms, hands; crushing Hanzo in a passionate hug.

His voice is croaky when he murmurs, "Happy birthday, old man."

Hanzo just chuckles. "Don't worry, you'll get there."

But he's hit with a wave of gratitude - to Mercy, to the gods, to the universe - that he knows Genji will get to 41, too. When for years he spent his and Genji's birthdays wallowing in guilt that his brother never knew 23, 24, 25... All thanks to him.

"We'll be celebrating in the retirement home," Genji jokes and he laughs again. He would have it no other way; having Genji at his side until the end of their lives is his only plan for the future.

Hanzo sits up, then, and Genji follows him with his eyes. Curious eyes, like that week-old baby; gaze that doesn't lose a single move while Hanzo digs out the small box and gently opens it. The shine of gold has dulled some after years of dust and lack of wear. Hanzo surprises himself that he still remembers which is which.

He takes Genji's hand, holds it with the same reverence he had that night, almost two decades ago, in his bedroom in Hanamura. The ring slips easily and fits with perfection onto his finger. It's as if time hasn't passed at all, but it has. So much of it has - and thank the gods for that.

Genji is the one to gasp and freeze in place this time, staring at the ring, at Hanzo's face. Doubtless running over the memories from that night as well. His face doesn't betray a single emotion as he slides Hanzo's ring into place and Hanzo fears that this was a mistake, that maybe some mementos are meant to be just that - objects to remember the past by. Not things to build a present and future with.

But Genji brings his hand to his face and kisses the ring, and sits up to kiss him on the lips, and Hanzo knows they're fine. They're more than fine, they're-

"-yours and you're mine," his lips moving around the words that Genji whispers, and though it's early morning and so much has yet to happen today, this has to be his best birthday by far.

Life sure has its way of making all the right things fall into all the right places, sooner or later.

[soona-kit]

why cant i ever get shit out on time rahhh‼️‼️‼️ very late shugabush birthday drawing. I firgot it was a few days ago so i just shat this out in like an hour 30 minutes. i kinda like it

viveines there bc they are so besties fr....

also a smelly little doodle. sorry for not posting ive been kinda losing interest in msm as of late but IM REGAINING IT SORTA I SWEAR...

[siribunbun]

Happy Birthday, xiansheng ;y

(or alternatively, Venti’s fanfic lol)

fun fact: I had to fight the Childe weekly boss multiple times to figure out what Zhongli’s charge attack sounds like upon impact. 

fun fun fact: this story actually has a sequel gag relating to the boss drop (haha), but i’m too tired and got other projects to move on to, so maybe I will draw it later. ;yyy

That’s it for my dumb gags involving Childe, thanks for being a part of this ride. I’m finally gonna move on to a more “serious” involving Noelle and Diluc in January, so uh look forward to that I guess. ;w;