#anyway yes i do intend to raise a fuss about this in class

[pinkdean]

reading some paper about empathy for school and i really do believe they've got it all wrong about autism. "Autustic people can't empathize" is complete bullshit. It's just that the distinctions in life experience and worldview are so different between autistic and allistic people that it's harder to bridge that gap. That said, I think autistic people empathize at least as well with allistic people as the other way around. I've seen posts where parents are like "I just don't get it. I surprised my child with something super fun but instead of getting excited they had a meltdown about it." Like yeah, cause you fucked up their routine without any warning??? Hello??? Meanwhile a fellow autistic person could very easily empathize with the child in that situation.

I challenge all allistic people who think autistic people are somehow worse at empathizing to actually try empathizing with autistics for a change and then tell me how much better they are at it

[iam93percentstardust]

Not sure if you’ve written something like this before, but my prompt is Tony being really into skincare and one day Steve finally lets him do a skincare routine on him before they sleep? And tony climbs on Steve’s lap to do it while Steve just lets his boyfriend do his thing, indulging and amused. I thought of this while doing my night time skin routine hehe

Hi! No, I don’t think I’ve ever written a skincare routine fic before, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to try! Since my skincare routine is really simple, I ended up writing more of an introspective fic while Tony is incidentally doing his routine on Steve, but I hope it’s still something you enjoy!

As always, everything I write is also on ao3

~

Steve doesn’t understand it, but that’s okay.

The skincare routine has always been more Tony’s thing than his. Steve just doesn’t understand the point when his shower works just as well. Tony always calls him the peak of human perfection anyway and that’s without the routine so why should he take the time to bother with skincare on top of that?

Tony likes it though. Steve’s never asked, but he thinks Tony’s insistence on doing the skincare routine every single night before bed has less to do with how much he likes it and more to do with the routine being something he and Maria had done together before—before that terrible accident last year.

He looks at Tony, sleepily doing his routine in the bathroom. There’s something very soft about Tony when he’s sleepy. Tony when he’s awake and alert is always a sight to see—usually dressed in an oil-stained t-shirt and holey jeans, mind flying from one topic to the next, held back only by the speed of his fingers, positively beautiful in his exhilaration. But Tony when he’s sleepy, when he’s dressed in an oversized MIT hoodie and fuzzy socks, that’s something special that only Steve gets to see.

He gets up from their bed and heads into the bathroom, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist as he stands behind him. Tony makes a quiet, surprised sound, hands dropping down to Steve’s.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Steve says and nudges the sensitive skin behind Tony’s ear with his nose. Tony murmurs wordlessly, so he does it again before placing a kiss light as air there. “When you’re done in here, you wanna come out to our bedroom and do one for me?”

Tony’s head falls back on his shoulder. His eyes are shining, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. “You mean it?” he asks.

“Wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t.” It wouldn’t be right of him to dangle that offer in front of him only to snatch it away. He knows that Tony’s been dying to try out his routine on Steve for ages. He’ll be excited that Steve is finally agreeing. He doesn’t know what makes him say yes today, other than it’s a completely random day and on completely random days, he likes to surprise Tony with things, spoil him the way he should be.

Tony’s face lights up. “I’d like that,” he says and stretches up enough to kiss the underside of Steve’s jaw. “Go sit on the edge of the bed, I’ll be right out.”

It takes a few minutes before Tony pads out of the bathroom, silent in his socked feet, arms full of products. Steve’s eyes widen at the sight, and Tony chuckles.

“Don’t worry, darling,” Tony tells him, setting the bottles down beside him. “It’s not as scary as it looks.”

“Looks pretty scary,” Steve mutters.

“Hmm, well then, let’s see if we can make it a little better. Sound good?” Without waiting for an answer, Tony slides into his lap, straddling him. Automatically, Steve’s hands rise to his hips, both to steady him and because it’s a Pavlovian response. His hands aren’t the only parts of his body that know what it means when Tony straddles him, and he fights back a wave of embarrassment as his cock hardens against Tony’s ass. Tony, though, just laughs again and raises up a little higher on his knees to relieve the pressure on his dick.

“You can sit down, sweetheart,” Steve says. “I can behave.”

“I know you can. But this is a better angle for me anyway.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am,” Tony assures him with a wink. “So sure.”

Steve relaxes as Tony pulls out a small white tub filled with some sort of cream. He closes his eyes as Tony gently dabs it onto his skin with his fingertips, rubbing it in in little circles. It’s oddly soothing, Tony’s calloused fingertips gentle on his skin.

“This is cleanser,” Tony tells him. “If you’re wearing any makeup, it helps break it down, but for you and me, we just use it to break down any larger dirt particles on our skin.”

“Are you going to follow that up by telling me which brand you recommend and to subscribe to your channel?” Steve asks dryly, reminded of the influencers Bucky keeps showing him so they can laugh at them.

Tony snickers, pressing his face against Steve’s shoulder for a moment. “I like to think I’m not as bad as that. For one thing, this routine is way shorter than theirs.”

“Yeah?”

“I assume when so many companies own your soul, you have to stretch out the routine so you can cram all those products in.”

Steve grins, hands sneaking under Tony’s shirt to rub against his bare skin. “Well, thank god that there’s only one company that owns your soul.”

“Hmm hurray for SI, I guess.”

Tony follows the cleanser up with an actual face wash, cleaning Steve’s face with as much care as he’d shown him during the cleanser. He doesn’t describe any of the other products, instead telling Steve about his day at SI, a much better place now that Stane is ousted and Tony has hired a new CEO instead. Steve likes Pepper a lot; he thinks she’ll be good for Tony, bringing some of his more fanciful ideas back down to earth. They’re working on a new water filtration system right now, a cheaper but higher quality alternative to the systems out right now.

In turn, Steve tells him about his own day, finishing up the last couple of classes he needs for graduation. He’s getting a degree in art therapy, intending to help kids the same way he was helped back when he was young and constantly sick. He just needs to finish two more classes and he’ll be set, ready to “go forth and save the day” as Tony puts it.

Tony’s movements start slowing down as he tires, his eyes taking longer to open each time he blinks. “Hey,” Steve says gently, catching Tony’s chin in his hands so he can look him in the eyes. “We don’t have to finish this now. We can do this tomorrow.”

“No,” Tony says sleepily. “We’re almost done.”

“You sure?”

He nods, and Steve lets him get back to what he was doing. Sure enough, Tony applies one more product to Steve’s face—“A moisturizer,” Tony tells him—and then stands back up, wobbling on his feet. Steve reaches out to steady him, hands lingering on Tony’s waist.

“How about I put all these away and you crawl into bed?” Steve suggests.

“You sure?” Tony asks, echoing Steve’s own words.

He nods. Tony really must be tired because he doesn’t even put up a fuss about making sure Steve puts the products back in their place—which is good, because Steve has no idea where they go. He just wants to get them put back in the bathroom and they’ll take care of putting them away properly tomorrow.

Tony is already mostly-asleep by the time Steve heads back into their bedroom, only his hair peeking out from under the blankets. He smiles at the familiar sight and turns out the lights, easily picking his way across their bedroom in the dark to settle into bed next to Tony, who curls into him as soon as he lays down.

“Good night, sweetheart,” he murmurs, closing his eyes.

Tony mumbles something and presses the lightest of kisses to Steve’s shoulder.

[intheticklecloset]

Every Rose Has Its Thorn (My Hero Academia)

Primary Universe

I love this title so much! It came to me INSTANTLY! What is it about Todoroki fics, and why can't all titles come to me this easily? Anyway, this is a short, cute slice of life featuring the perfect pair. Enjoy! ^^

19. “I see that smile. Come on, laugh!”

22. “I think I’m stuck…”

~

“Um. Kirishima?”

“I’m sure it looks great, Todoroki. Come on, I want to see it!”

“I…I don’t think I can…” Todoroki replied from the other side of the changing room door, sounding nervous.

Kirishima straightened, hearing his friend’s tone and growing concerned. “Why not? Even if it’s not your usual style I’m sure it can’t be that bad.” He and the icy-hot hero were at the mall, shopping with some other friends from their class who were currently in other stores. Kiri had dragged Todoroki into a store that was a tad out of his comfort zone, picked out some t-shirts for him, and shoved him toward the changing rooms. They were on shirt number one, and already Todoroki didn’t sound convinced.

“It’s not that. I, uh…” There was a pause, then a heavy sigh. “I think I’m stuck.”

Kiri frowned. “Stuck? Stuck how?”

“I can’t…I couldn’t get it over my head, and when I tried to take it back off it kind of…didn’t go anywhere.” Todoroki groaned. “I’m stuck inside the shirt, Kiri.”

The redhead really, really tried to hold back his laughter, but found that he couldn’t help it. He laughed for a solid minute before managing, “O-Ohohopen the door, I’ll hehelp you out. Oh my god, I’ve got to see this.”

Seconds later the changing room door unlatched, and Kiri took a brief glance around before slipping inside. He knew how this might look, but he didn’t really care right now. The sight before him was far too hilarious to be concerned about outward appearances.

Todoroki’s arms were trapped inside a white t-shirt. He couldn’t even bend his elbows to try and wiggle out of it that way. Kiri laughed even more, making the icy-hot hero flush with embarrassment.

“Okay, fine, it’s hilarious. Ha-ha. Can you please help me out?” Todoroki mumbled.

“I’m sorry, dude,” Kiri replied. “I must have grabbed the wrong size. I was just guessing at it.”

“I don’t care about that. I just want out. This is humiliating.”

“Oh, come on. You have to admit it’s a little funny.” Kiri smirked, and then he noticed something and titled his head, curious. He pushed one of Todoroki’s arms up, effectively bringing the other with it, thanks to his current predicament. “Dude! You’ve got different colored underarm hair, too?”

Instantly Todoroki shot his arms back down to his sides, blushing even harder now. “Yes. It’s just how I am. Please, can you help me get out of this?”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed about it. I think it’s kind of cool, actually.”

“Just drop it, Kiri.”

Kiri took a moment to take in his friend’s emotional state. He didn’t seem angry; just flustered and embarrassed and obviously wanting out of this whole situation. And Kiri intended to help him, of course – but he couldn’t help but mess with his friend a little more first.

“Come on, Todoroki,” the redhead teased, poking the icy-hot’s bare side with a finger. “It’s okay to laugh about this.”

“D-Don’t,” Todoroki stammered, eyes darting to the finger that had poked him nervously.

But Kiri did, poking at his bare side, then his exposed ribs, then his belly, faster and more sporadic each time, until Todoroki had been pushed against one of the walls of the changing room, biting his lip to hold back his giggles, a bright smile on his face.

“I see that smile~” Kiri pushed Todoroki’s arms above his head again held them there with one hand while the other scribbled in his open underarm. “Come on, laugh!”

“Nohohohohoho!” Todoroki pleaded, doing everything he could to stay quiet, his body twisting and writhing frantically. “Plehehehehehease! Nohohohohohot here!”

“But it’s funny! And come on – how can I not take advantage of this situation?” Kirishima pinned Todoroki’s arms above his head, continuing to scribble all over his bare torso and underarms. “Tickle, tickle, Todoroki~”

“No!” Todoroki twisted his head to bury his mouth in his raised arm, trying to muffle his laughter as it came bubbling out of him. “Stohohohohohop! Don’t tehehehehehease me!”

“Oh?” Kiri let go of his arms, darting both hands into the hollows of his underarms and scratching at the skin there. “Cootchie coo~ Look at that blush! Teasing really messes with you, huh? Tickle, tickle, tickle!”

Todoroki was desperately trying to hold back, but more and more his hysterics threatened to burst out of him. He squirmed against the wall, unable to bring his arms down further than Kiri’s shoulders due to their positioning. He couldn’t protect himself at all, he couldn’t keep quiet; it was maddening.

“Stop,” he begged, the first louder bursts of laughter escaping him. “Stop, pleheHEHEASE, I c-cahahAHAHAHAHAN’T – Kirishima!”

“Tickle, tickle, tickle!” Kiri kept up his relentless teasing, grinning widely at this enormously fun situation. “Just admit this is funny, and I’ll let you go~”

“All rihihihihihight, okahahaHAHAHAHAHAY!! IT’S FUNNY!! THIS IS FUHUHUHUNNY!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!” Todoroki pleaded, barely able to stand at this point as Kiri scribbled mercilessly into his underarms. “Plehehehehehehease! Please stohohohohohohop, Kiri!”

As promised, Kirishima relented, beaming at his friend as he instantly shot his arms down to his sides and shrunk away from him, still giggling breathlessly. “Feeling better now?”

“When we get out of this mall,” Todoroki muttered, “I’ll get you back for this.”

Kiri felt his heart leap with excitement, and he chuckled through his own blush. “I’m sure you will. But let’s concentrate on getting you out of this trap first.” After another minute or so of fussing with it, the two of them were able to get it off, freeing Todoroki’s arms once more. Kiri put the shirt back on the hanger, then held it up to his friend’s chest with a smile. “It would look great on you, dude. Want me to get a different size?”

Todoroki glanced at the shirt – plain white with a dark red rose on it – and shrugged. “Sure.”

“Great! Try on the next one; I’ll be right back.”

“What if I get stuck again?”

Kiri smirked at him over his shoulder as he opened the door to the changing room. “You’ve got my back with washing machines. I’ve got your back with t-shirts.” He winked, then hurried away before Todoroki could formulate a response.

[vulgarvixxen]

I simply think. Logan teaching Thomas how pussy works.

You are so right anon and honestly I had intended for this to have twice as much Logan but Thomas became the focus. I hope you enjoy this anyway.

Warnings ⚠️: 18+ only, oral sex, vaginal fingering, hint of degradation, hint of feminization kink, slight dom/sub elements, lmk if I missed any

Logan class in session

It happened while talking to Talon and Joan about exes. Talon had lamented about a guy who would never go down because “he didn’t think pussy needed that much fuss.” it made him realize he didn’t know anything about pleasuring a partner with a vagina. Sure he knew from biology where some stuff was but it was only a vague idea and that didn’t help him know what to do or where, and that’s how he ended up here in the mind-palace with Logan and two very enthusiastic volunteers.

On the projector screen was a very simplistic illustration of the human vaginal anatomy, Logan was talking about how the muscular canal is both elastic and flexible. Not as interesting as the fact that it expands? During? Sex? then just goes back to normal later? Why hadn’t that been in his college biology textbook, that was more relevant than the section on how the nose smells! Oh and it turns out those weird videos he came across as a young adult where the actresses “squirted”? Yeah that’s a real thing not just something for porn, the porn was still exaggerating and lame but it was real! Thomas was really enjoying this time with Logan…and two oddly quiet twins.

“Now that we have gone over some of the basic understanding of the vagina and it’s parts I think it’s time for some on hand experience. Remus and Roman have been kind enough to shift their anatomy to a human,” he stops and glares at Remus who just huffs and waves off the teacher’s obvious reprimand, “a human vagina, so you can see how different stimuli are received. Any questions before we begin?” Thomas raises his hand and is called on.

“Why do we need both of them to shift?”

“Ah! Yes, great question! Well just as every penis is unique so is every vagina and as such no two people will respond the same. You will switch between them to try and find what each likes best, and it helps to have a backup if one of our subjects needs a break for water!” Logan says it like he’s reading a script but there is an underlying chipperness one would more likely associate with Patton, it was nice to see.

“You really thought this through. Alrighty I guess I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”

Thomas’s tongue teased Roman’s folds, earning a sighing moan from the red twin, it wasn’t Roman’s “spot” but Thomas liked the breathy moans it pulled out of the other. He teased a little longer before he added circling his thumb around so it swiped both the clit and it’s hood. That got Roman howling out in pleasure, arching his back and grasping for anything for leverage. He switches his tongue and thumb so he’s pressing the tip of his tongue against the clit in a flicking motion.

“𝓕𝓤𝓬𝓴 𝓕𝓤𝓒𝓚, 𝓣𝓗𝓞𝓜𝓐𝓢 𝓓𝓞𝓝𝓣 𝓓𝓐𝓡𝓔 𝓢𝓣𝓞𝓟! 𝓑𝓨 𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓖𝓞𝓓𝓢 𝓓𝓞 𝓝𝓞𝓣 𝓢𝓣𝓞𝓟“*

Bolstered by the pleading of his ego Thomas continues his flicking, every few licks longer than the others until the cries of “fuck” become screams of “yes” and “Thomas” but he doesn’t stop until Roman is squirming and whining.

“Amazing work Thomas, you found the places that give Roman the most stimulation and used that to help him reach a satisfying climax.” Praises Logan as he helps Roman sit up and sip some water. “I believe our other subject is very excited to be of help, don’t keep him waiting.”

At the direction Thomas wipes his face of the cooling mix of ejaculation and drool and heads over to where Remus is whimpering and clutching the end of his casual shirt. It was kind of cute seeing him so needy and willing, maybe he could do this sort of thing with the intrusive side more often.

“Just lean back now, I’m going to find what makes you feel good. Ok?” Remus nods eagerly to the instructions and falls back onto the bed/table thing both twins have been situated on, his hands still hold his shirt but now his legs are spread and Thomas has to swallow to keep the drool in his mouth from running down his chin.

“Are you always this horny or is it just because you’ve been waiting?” Thomas teased as he leaned down to take his experimental lick over the folds.

“I could hear what you were doing to Ro-Ro and how much he was loving it, couldn’t wait for that to be me. Thomas, make me your bitch, make me feel like a Duchess only good for making her king an heir.” Remus pleads and Thomas backs off to look the side in the eyes.

“Do…do you want me to use she/her while we’re doing this? Cause I’m fine with that but I’m not going to call you names while I’m trying to make you feel good.”

“Shit, yes. Yes please use she/her and call me Duchess if you get the chance to talk!” Remus blushes as she admits what she really wanted and Thomas chuckles at how cute he finds her antics right now.

Right off the bat he finds that she likes her urethra teased a lot more than Roman had but that nibbly kisses on her inner folds got the best gasping jolts out of her. He takes a chance and nibble kisses Remus’s hood as he’s running his fingers over her folds and into the vagina and is rewarded with a chant of “𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞“ so he kept up the rhythm before changing the angle of his hand so the urethra gets some attention and he can tell she holding back,

“Duchess, be a good girl and cum for your king.” As soon as he finishes his encouragement he is back to nibble kisses but not for much longer as Remus let’s go and let’s her orgasm wash over her. Thomas is thrilled when she “squirts” a stream of ejaculation on his hand between clenches.

“You ok my beautiful Duchess?” He asks after Remus has stopped gasping for breath.

“Wonderful! You’re a natural Tommy, you put straight white guys to shame!” She giggles, she pauses as Logan comes over to help her up just as he did her brother.

“Remus, though in her own words are a bit lacking, is correct. We’ve only had one lesson but I’m confident that should the need arise you will be prepared to bring pleasure to a partner who has a vagina.” Agrees Logan as Remus enjoys her water and waves at Roman who seems to be trying to stay awake.

“Thanks, I really enjoyed this. I feel like I’ve gotten close to the three of you and not just in the biblical sense.” That gets another giggle from Remus and a smile from Logan.

“No more talk, I want snuggles!” Roman demands in a sleepy grumble. It doesn’t take much to snap the twins into clean, soft clothes and shift the mind-palace into a big pile of padding, blankets and pillows. With three of his sides dozing off Thomas couldn’t help but think that he owes Talon a nice candy bouquet for planting the idea in his head.

* fuck fuck, Thomas don’t dare stop, by the gods don’t stop!

[sevlgi]

white knight

requested: yes

group: red velvet

pairing: irene x fem!reader

genre: fluff, mild angst

contents: college!au, scaredy cat!irene

warnings: swearing

synopsis: Irene isn’t looking to be saved by a white knight, but she can’t help falling for you when you rescue her. From a spider. In a college dorm.

a/n: i’m sorry for how long this took me 😂 I hope you enjoy!

word count: 3.8k

It’s not a super fun thing to be woken up by a blood-curdling scream at 4 in the morning.

The hallways and rooms of your dorm building are especially echoey, causing the scream to sound like it’s erupting right next to you. Considering that you’re not a heavy sleeper, it’s pretty damn terrifying.

“Shit,” you gasp, fumbling to get out of bed. Your dorm is pitch dark, as it has been for the past week or so while most people in your building have been gone for winter break. You thought you were the last one left, but clearly, that’s not true. “What the hell?”

The scream sounds again, louder and shriller this time, and you wince, stuffing your feet into shoes that you’re sure don’t match and grabbing the heaviest textbook you can find. Your campus is supposed to be pretty safe, but judging by the screams, there’s probably a serial killer on campus, and you’ll definitely die fighting them off.

It’s not hard to find the room of the screamer; it’s the only door ajar at the end of the hallway, bright light spilling out from inside. Honestly, it’s weird for a killer to keep the door open and the lights on, but your sleep-deprived brain doesn’t make much of it, and you kick the door open violently.

There’s an ugly cracking sound as the doorknob slams into the wall, but you’re focused on the fact that there’s definitely not a killer in the dorm. No, there’s only one person inside, a petite girl in a bathrobe and face mask, standing on top of her bed and screaming at the open door of the bathroom. “What- did you crack my wall?” she demands, staring at you.

“I- that doesn’t matter, what the fuck are you screaming at?”

She points a shaking hand at the bathroom, and you’re half-expecting to see a rabid dog or a dead body. Instead, it takes almost a full minute for you to find the spider on the tiled floor. “The fuck- you’re screaming about a spider?” you groan, already wishing you didn’t get out of bed for this.

The girl frowns and crosses her arms. “Well, yes. Spiders are scary. If you don’t mind, could you kill it? You did break my wall.”

You smash it with your foot, scraping it along the floor to leave a streak of spider guts. The girl’s still staring at her gross floor when you whirl around with your hands on your hips, about to give her a piece of your mind. “Why the hell? You gotta be more considerate, it’s 4 in the morning and you’re screaming your head off about a tiny-ass bug.”

“It’s not my fault I have arachnophobia,” she snaps back, and you bristle at the audacity. “I mean, I didn’t ask for some white-knight wannabe to burst in and ruin my wall.”

“Wh-” you sputter. Drawing yourself up to your full considerably unimpressive height, you spit out, “Well, fuck you. Next time there’s an actual serial killer, I’ll just leave you here to be smeared on the floor like that goddamn spider. Again, fuck you!”

“Wannabe,” she calls out behind you, muffled when you slam the door shut. You want to believe it’s a fever dream, but the reality of it is that you have a rude-ass neighbor with a horror movie scream, and you didn’t get enough sleep to survive class.

All a day in the life of a college student, right?

“Pleeeaaasseeee.”

You glare menacingly at Jisoo, who doesn’t even flinch. “No.”

“Come on,” your roommate pleads, tugging on your arm. She’s all too used to your stubbornness to give up on something she wants you to do now. “Please? I really want you to meet Jennie!”

“Come on, Jisoo,” you sigh, still typing away at the essay you started an hour too late. “You’re dating the most popular girl on campus, and you want me to come to dinner with the two of you?” At Jisoo’s nod, you roll your eyes and ignore her pout. “You’re kidding.”

The brunette groans; even her patience has a limit. “Jennie’s so sweet, she’ll love you! Besides, she’s bringing her roommate.”

“Should I care?”

“A really hot roommate,” Jisoo amends. “Absolutely your type. I’ve met her, she’s so gorgeous. Her name is Joohyun, and she’s a year above you, I think. She’s super pretty and super sweet and I’m pretty sure she’s super gay-”

Your hand, clamped over Jisoo’s mouth, cuts off the flow of unnecessary information. Honestly, even the mention of a pretty girl isn’t enough to get you to want to go to dinner with your roommate and her uber-popular girlfriend, but you know Jisoo will just reschedule if you don’t come and nag you until you agree. “Fine. I’ll come, but I won’t be happy about it.”

“Trust me, you’ll definitely be happy,” Jisoo squeals, pressing an exaggerated kiss to your forehead before leaving the room, probably to tell her girlfriend the news.

You don’t pay any attention to your easily excited best friend, simply continuing to type away. The mention of dinner with a pretty girl quickly slips away to the back of your mind, a vague throb in the background.

“I think I see them,” Jisoo tells you with a huge grin on her face. You’re sitting in a booth opposite her, and you’ve been ignoring your roommate’s hands tapping at the table for at least 20 minutes now.

“You said that 10 minutes ago,” you grumble, flipping through the menu. Honestly, one of the only things that got you to agree to the stupid dinner was the promise of food, and your mouth is practically watering at the pictures of ramen on the menu. “Are you sure it’s them?”

Your roommate quickly smooths her hair down, grabbing your face to check your makeup and ignoring your disgruntled noise. “Yes, I’m sure. Can you at least smile?”

Luckily, there’s no more time for Jisoo to fuss over you; you spot Jennie first, recognizing her by her cute gummy smile and expensive perfume. However, when your eyes travel to the girl behind Jennie, your jaw drops in time with hers.

To anyone else, it would seem like you’re simply shocked by how pretty the girl is, and that’s partially true. ‘Joohyun’, as you remember, is absolutely gorgeous, to the point where she seems unreal. Porcelain skin, glossy raven hair, and dark eyes widened in shock make her easily the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen.

However, you can’t help but see a face mask and bathrobe that no one else can see, and you can hear an ear-piercing scream rattling in your ears. Maybe Joohyun sees the oversized shirt you wore that night, a shoe in your hand that you used to smash a stupid spider.

Either way, you’re not letting Jisoo know about what you did.

Extending your hand with the fakest smile you can muster, you introduce yourself. “Hi, Joohyun, right? I’m Y/N.”

“Um, yeah. Hi.” After taking your hand, she slides into the booth next to you, although you’re sure she’s almost hanging off the edge with how much space is between the two of you. You’re the direct opposites of Jennie and Jisoo, who are practically glued together opposite you.

Jisoo’s oblivious, but she’s not oblivious enough to miss the tension between you, and Jennie has practically no tact. Her sharp eyes observe the icy stare Joohyun gives you and she asks, “Do you two know each other?”

“No,” Joohyun answers immediately, her cold expression melting into a sweet smile when she looks to her roommate. “She just looks like someone I met a few days ago. Remember the girl I told you about?”

“Yeah,” Jennie laughs, covering her smile with her hand. “Yeah, I remember. You still haven’t fixed that crack in our wall, you know.”

You pray that Jisoo doesn’t ask for details, but of course, she does. “What crack?” she smiles, eyes lighting up at the promise of a story. Really, Jisoo?

“Oh, you know how everyone was gone for winter break?” Joohyun smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear. It’s not fair how gorgeous she looks. “There was a spider in my bathroom, so obviously I screamed.”

“Are spiders that scary?” you can’t help yourself from blurting out. Jisoo raises an eyebrow at you. “I mean, it couldn’t have been too big.”

“Anyway,” Joohyun continues, fully ignoring you. You bristle at her dismissive attitude, but stay silent to hear whatever lies she’s spinning about you. “This girl busts into my dorm and throws the door open so hard that it makes a huge crack in the wall!”

“Damn,” Jisoo comments. You want to glare at her, but that’ll just be painfully obvious. “Who was she?”

The brunette beside you laughs, shaking her head. “I don’t know! But I fully intend to find her and make her pay for my wall. To be honest, she looked a lot like Y/N, about this tall, with this hair color too. Even her face looks similar!”

“That’s funny,” Jennie chimes in now. “You should try your best to find her then, if you’ve got Y/N as a reference. It’s gonna be expensive to fix up the wall. Do you think we’ll get in trouble with administration?”

Jisoo shakes her head, and you watch on helplessly as your roommate digs you into an even bigger hole. “You won’t if you fix it in time. Y/N can help you guys!”

“Really?” Two sets of eyes turn skeptically onto you. 

“I own a kit to fill in walls,” you blurt out, cursing internally. Honestly, you want to slap yourself. “Yeah, I can help you guys fill in the crack. It’ll look like nothing happened.”

Jennie offers you a gummy smile. “That’d be great! Would tomorrow work for you?”

All of a sudden, Joohyun’s eyes grow wide and she protests, “Neither of us will be home though, maybe we should wait until you have a free day?”

“Nonsense, you’ll be there. You don’t have class tomorrow, remember?” Jennie grins, flapping her hand and looking down at the menu. “You can stop by anytime, Y/N. Now, should we order? I’ll pay.”

As your roommate cooes about how considerate her girlfriend is, you studiously avoid Joohyun’s eyes. Honestly, you have no idea if you’ll survive tomorrow, not if you’re faced with a hot girl with an obvious grudge against you.

Fuck.

“Uh, would you mind opening the door a little more?”

Joohyun stares at you suspiciously through the tiny crack that she’s opened the door. You can’t help but notice how pretty she looks, hair up in a messy ponytail and dressed in a simple white shirt, but you school your expression into a frown to mirror hers. “Step away first.”

“What the fuck,” you sigh, shifting the spackling kit under your arm. “I’m not gonna slam the goddamn door again, just open it and let me in. Or do you want to explain to administration why you have a crack in your wall?”

“Because you’re an asshole,” she mumbles, opening the door just enough for you to squeeze through. “Who the hell barges into someone else’s dorm at 2 in the morning?”

“It was 4 in the morning,” you snap back, although there’s a twinge of guilt in your chest at the sight of the huge crack in the wall. The cracks aren’t wide, thank god, but there’s a lot of them. “And I barged in because I thought you were being murdered! Who the hell screams like that because of a tiny-ass spider?”

She hesitates at that, and you smirk, satisfied. Crossing her arms, Joohyun scowls, “Whatever. So, am I supposed to pay you for this or something? I don’t know how much I’d usually pay to get someone to do this for me, so don’t overcharge.”

You stare at her, at the brown eyes darting to look at anywhere but you. “What? Jesus, I’m not that much of an asshole. You don’t have to pay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, the fuck?” you mumble, starting to open the kit you’ve set on the floor. “Did you think that little of me?”

Joohyun rolls her eyes, but you think you can see the tiniest bit of a smile tugging at her lip. “I mean, you did make that crack. It’s the least you can do.”

‘“Look, I feel bad about the crack, but you didn’t need to embarrass me in front of my roommate. You made it painfully obvious that the asshole you were talking about was me,” you frown, looking up at her.

She wordlessly places a cup of water by you, settling down in a chair a few feet away with a thoughtful twist to her brow. “Mm. Whatever, it got you to fix my wall for free.”

“Yeah, and I’m not doing it again. I’m keeping my promise that if you get murdered next time, I’m not coming to save you.”

“Sure you will,” Joohyun laughs, and you can’t help but stare at the way her eyes shine.

Suddenly, you’re not sure you will either.

The next time you see Joohyun is a few days later at 2 in the morning in the communal washing machine area.

“We’ve got to stop meeting at ass o’clock in the morning” is your greeting to her.

She looks tired, you note, although you’re sure you do too. There’s only 6 washing machines in a floor with a couple hundred students, so ass o’clock of the morning is usually when you come to steal two of the machines for you and Jisoo. Whenever Jisoo agrees to do the laundry, she miraculously finds an empty machine at a convenient time, but you’re nowhere near as lucky.

“Hey, Y/N,” Joohyun yawns, rubbing at her eyes. She’s carrying an empty hamper, probably for clothes she washed earlier. You wonder which one of the swirling machines is hers. “It seems that this is the only time of day you’re awake.”

To be honest, you don’t appreciate being teased for your choice of afternoon classes to preserve your sleep, and you tell Joohyun so. However, you do appreciate the small smile that cracks her usually impassive face. “Anyways, need help?”

“What?”

“Need. Help?” you say again, enunciating the words exaggeratedly and earning a halfhearted slap. She doesn’t respond, only opening two of the still machines. “Really, two machines? How many clothes do you have?”

“Some are Jennie’s,” Joohyun scowls, flipping a shirt more aggressively than strictly necessary. “I think some are Jisoo’s too.”

You snort, holding a pink shirt that you’re sure belongs to your roommate. “I better not find any underwear or something.”

“With how often Jisoo sleeps over, I wouldn’t be surprised,” the other girl sighs. “Seriously, how did you not meet Jennie before that dinner?”

“Apparently, Jisoo didn’t want me to get the wrong impression by hearing them fuck in the other room or something.”

“How considerate,” Joohyun says dryly, and you don’t manage to suppress your laugh. When you calm down, you realize that Joohyun’s staring at you, though she quickly averts her eyes. “No, I’m serious. I heard Jennie moan Jisoo’s name enough times before I met her that i didn’t even need to be introduced.”

You scrunch your nose, observing the neat way the other girl folds her laundry and copying. “Gross. I thought Jisoo would be the loud one.”

“No, she’s pretty loud too.”

“Oh, ew,” you protest. “I mean, that can be hot sometimes, but Jisoo probably sounds like a dying duck.”

“And you don’t?” Joohyun shoots back. Almost immediately, her pale cheeks color to a deep pink, even though you didn’t have remotely enough time to make an innuendo in your head. “Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, I don’t care what you sound like-”

“Shut up, I didn’t even think of that,” you snort, still folding laundry. “You’ve got a crazy dirty mind if you immediately connected those two things.”

Joohyun throws a shirt at your face and you yelp, catching it only to throw it back. Somehow, it breaks the tension and you both start laughing, folding laundry while exchanging jabs at your respective roommates.

Maybe she’s not as bad as you thought.

It becomes almost a tradition to meet at the laundry room at 2 in the morning on Fridays. The next time is accidental, but after that, you’re sure that Joohyun’s making changes to her schedule just to catch you doing your and your roommate’s laundry and joke with you.

You become sort-of-friends, although you rarely hang out outside of folding shirts together. Sometimes, when Jisoo and Jennie are being gross together, one of you will escape to the others’ dorm, but that’s about it.

What worries you is the not-so-friendly thoughts you begin to have about Joohyun. Sometimes, you can’t seem to stop staring at the girl’s lips, and you feel the itch to hold her hand. 

It’s weird.

Therefore, you’ve been forcing Jisoo to do the laundry for the last week and keeping out of your dorm to avoid seeing your sort-of-friend.

You’re only home when Jennie comes knocking because Jisoo makes you stay home while she goes out with friends. You really can’t fathom who’s at your door, so you yank it open.

“Um… hi?” Jennie offers, a sheepish smile on her face. “I brought dessert.” True to her word, her arms are laden with boxes upon boxes of sweets, all of them your favorites.

“Is this a bribe?” You wince at the words that come out, knowing that they sound accusing. “Sorry, just…”

Jennie shrugs, placing the boxes on a table. “I mean, you’re not wrong. I am bribing you.”

Shoving a pastry in your mouth, you cross your arms and try not to look smug. “What for? You’ve got me in a good mood, it’s in your favor to ask now.”

Your roommate’s girlfriend laughs, hesitantly taking one of the desserts when you offer them. “Well. Jisoo and I actually had a really nice date planned for Valentine’s Day, but we can’t go. You probably know Jisoo has a family emergency, right?”

You manage to nod sympathetically despite your cheeks being stuffed full of sweets. “I’m going with her, she’s so worried that I don’t trust her to fly across the country on her own. But we don’t want our date to go to waste.”

“Okay, but what does this have to do with me?”

Jennie shifts, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Right, so Joohyun’s willing to go on the date, but I don’t want her to do it all alone. Would you be willing to go with her?”

At your slight frown, she rambles, “It doesn’t have to be a date for you guys, it’s just a nice dinner! You know, it can just be a nice hangout between friends who definitely don’t have feelings for each other.”

“Do you know something?” There’s a slight jump in your pulse; there’s no way Jennie could know that you might have feelings for her roommate, but you’re nervous nonetheless. What if she’s told Joohyun?

She blushes, chewing lightly on her lower lip. “Of course not! So. Will you do it?”

It barely takes a moment of thinking for you to say, “Sure, I’ll go on a date with Joohyun.” You wince lightly at the blunt way you said it, clarifying, “A not-date. With my friend.”

“Good,” Jennie sighs, standing. She returns to her confident popular-girl image with a smile, handing you a little envelope with a time and date written on it. “Have fun.”

“I will,” you mumble, staring at the envelope.

What have you got to be nervous about? You’re just hanging out with your friend, who you definitely don’t have feelings for and who definitely doesn’t have feelings for you either.

Right?

You really don’t know why you spend almost an hour getting ready for your not-date when you usually wouldn’t care what you wore to hang out with friends.

It feels stupid to frown at your simple outfit while piles of clothes surround you. Just on time, you hear Joohyun’s knock, 3 quick raps as always. 

“Hi,” you manage to get out, sounding more breathless than you’d like. She looks perfect as always, but she looks just as flustered as you feel. “Um, let’s go?”

“Right, yeah,” Joohyun mutters, shaking her head and walking faster than she should. “My car’s this way.”

Both of you are uncharacteristically quiet on the way to the car and even more so when Joohyun starts driving. It’s awkward, and you’re sure it has something to do with the fact that you have feelings for her.

You can’t muster up the courage to say something, but you remain silent until the two of you order food. Suddenly, Joohyun groans out, “This is so awkward.”

“Right?” Glancing around you to make sure people aren’t staring, you slump a bit, shaking your head. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” She raises an eyebrow, sipping at the cup of wine she holds. “It’s not your fault, it’s just weird for us to be on a date when we’re just friends.”

As you frown, you can’t help but notice the slight blush on Joohyun’s cheekbones. “I mean, my feelings for you have got to make it weird, right?”

Immediately, Joohyun spits out the mouthful of unfortunately expensive wine, hacking and coughing as she stares at you. “Wh- feelings!?”

You can’t help the dark red flush rising to your face, definitely less flattering than Joohyun’s own. “Shut up, Jennie told me you knew.”

“I don’t,” she says, looking thoroughly convinced. “I was being awkward because I thought Jennie told you about my feelings.”

“Your feelings? What feelings?” You do your best not to be so loud when the other customers start looking your way, but you can’t help the shocked expression on your face.

Joohyun scowls now, staring anywhere but at you. “The same feelings as yours, idiot. Romantic ones, not-friends ones! Want-to-kiss-you feelings, want-to-go-on-dates-with-you feelings!”

“What…?” Realization dawns over you, your mouth forming a little ‘o’. “Jennie and Jisoo knew. They told each other about our feelings and set us up! I’ll bet they didn’t even have a dinner reservation!”

The girl opposite you groans, shaking her head. “Oh, this is so like them. They’re so meddling, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind once they get back!”

“Same.” You sit in silence for barely another moment before you blurt out, “So, you like me back?”

“Yes, you idiot,” Joohyun scowls, tossing her napkin at your head as if it can block the growing grin on your face. “Now shut up and enjoy the food.”

You do as you’re told, but dinner is definitely less awkward once the truth’s out. A weight is lifted from your shoulders now that your feelings are reciprocated, and you catch Joohyun smiling at you as if she feels the same way.

Maybe you don’t regret getting up to kill that spider after all. It’s still undecided.

[magicquilll]

Breach of Faith

Summary: Draco receives a letter from his father, his new task is to get information through a certain Gryffindor.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Gryffindor!reader

Words: 2k+

Warnings: Name-calling and swearing.

He stared at the words in the parchment, the owl had already taken flight, meaning an answer was not expected. Though, it never really was. When your father was the same type of man that Draco’s was, what he did expect was obedience.

Befriend the girl, I do not care how. Learn whatever it is that they are plotting and report back to me. I will not hear complaining. This is not a request.

He dragged his hand across his face, letting it rest across his eyes for a moment. “Great.” Draco let out with a sigh. Folding the letter and shoving it into his back pocket, he made his way out of the Owlery.

As if he didn’t already have a mission, as if he wasn’t already carrying the weight of his father’s mistakes. Now he has another one to throw into the pile. How many more, he wandered, until he was swallowed by it all?

No. There was no time for complaining. He’d do that later.

•••

The library wasn’t quiet. As contradictory as that seemed, it never really was. Silence reminds you of solitude, and that library was full of students. Desperate students most of the time, but that didn’t make much of a difference in the overall.

So who was to notice in the middle of all the excited whispers and desolated sighs, a girl in the transfiguration section reaching on her tippytoes for a book in a shelf much too high for her?

And as you reached for your wand when you realized that you were, in fact, a witch and could simply summon the book into your hands, something moved into your field of vision.

A hand. An incredibly pale, with well-cared nails and elegant long fingers, to be specific. It grabbed the book you were so desperately trying to reach, and as it did you finally felt the presence of the person who owned the hand on your back.

“Need some help?” You felt his breath against your left ear and your face turned into a snarl when you heard the smirk on his voice. Not only for the cockiness but because she knew the arrogant prick that came with it.

“Actually, no.” You said as you turned to face him. His hands shot up as if to appease you, the book still in his clasp.

“No need to be so frisky.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He looked at you for a moment longer before shrugging and closing the distance between you.

You panicked for a second thinking what he was playing at, but he just looked you in the eyes. You could feel your heart speed up, you never felt more aware of personal space as you did now, when yours was being so suddenly taken away. What the actual hell was he trying to do staring at you like that? He was so close you could actually see the spots of blue in his grey eyes.

And then he was back at arms distance and you could breathe again. You averted your gaze from his face and noticed he wasn’t holding the book anymore. And it dawned on you. The stupid asshole. You could see the corner of his lips turning up as you realized he had just put the book back on the shelf. The shelf you couldn’t reach.

“What do you want?” You snapped at him.

“Just helping the lady reach a high shelf.”

“Oh, I’m a lady now?” You stared up at him, one brow raised. 

“Never said otherwise.”

Resigned to the fact that you wouldn’t get a straight answer from him, you turned to make your way back to the table you had claimed previously. Deciding to get the book after you managed to shoo away Malfoy.

“You’re a pain in the ass, Malfoy. Has someone ever told you that?” The question was rhetorical, but you looked over your shoulder to see his reaction.

“Yes, actually.” With one hand on his chin, Draco made a scene out of pretending to be very deep in thought. “If I remember correctly, the last person to have the honour was you.”

“Well,” Now it was your time to smirk. You didn’t know what he was getting at or what he was trying to achieve, but you’d figure it out sooner or later. “We have to take pride even in the smallest of achievements.”

•••

Harry had been kind enough to volunteer to help you with your flying since it was something you really wanted to learn because witches and brooms are the oldest thing in the book and you sucked at it. Royally. The thing was, Harry had a Dumbledore meeting and so that brings us to this very moment.

You, alone in the quidditch field, holding a broom. And you were quite sure you were holding it wrong too. Either way, you scanned the stands for any sign of life that could witness your first-hand embarrassment show, only to find you were safe from prying eyes.

Maybe trying this alone wasn’t the best choice, but you had already committed to the idea that it was something you wanted to learn. And the fact that nobody was there to see you eat grass when you inevitably fell was reassuring.

Flinging one leg over the broom and securing your grip on the handle, you gave a little impulse upwards. The plan wasn’t to fly thirty feet high but you treated your small three as a good accomplishment for the day.

And everything would have been fine if you hadn’t bent forward in an attempt to make yourself more comfortable, bending the broom downwards and sending you crashing down into the ground. The point of the broom hit the grass, your grip faltered and you were sent rolling over, face-first into the earth.

The laughter that reached your ears was enough for you to feel the mortification rise in you. And at that moment you decided to play dead because surely, things could not get worse than this.

Oh, how wrong you were.

“Need some help?” His voice rang through your ears, reminding you of the library stunt.

“Actually, no.” Your voice came out muffled for your face was still squashed onto the ground. You could hear him approaching, the sound of his shoes stepping on the well-trimmed grass. He knelt beside your head, you could practically picture the shit-eating grin on his face.

“Well, then.” You saw the sparkle of mischief in his eyes as you turned your face to look at him. His gaze wandered down and you felt the skip of a beat from the treacherous little thing in your chest, but you didn’t let it show.

Suddenly he was reaching for you and you felt his warm fingers against your cheek, your gaze never left him but he wasn’t grinning anymore. You didn’t know what happened but you felt something aching to admiration? No, maybe you were just imagining things. Though, you observed, he looked really good in that light.

And as fast as the moment came, it went. He pulled away holding a piece of grass that you certainly hadn’t felt attached to your cheek.

“Thank you.” You whispered softly hoping he wouldn’t hear it, but the smirk was back in place and you knew he did. He rested his chin against his hand that was propped on his thigh. Draco was still looking at you, and though you wouldn’t say it out loud, he really did look good on that light.

Goddammit.

•••

The clinking of tableware and the noise of chattering filled The Great Hall. You sat with your fellow Gryffindors on your table, Harry and Ron across you and Hermione on your right.

You were happily sipping your pumpkin juice when you heard the first sign of danger. It was a screech, one everyone in this school knew well because it was what came out of Pansy’s mouth every three words. You turned your head to spy over your shoulder what was the problem this time, and that was when you had the second sign.

Pansy was standing, practically fuming at the Slytherin table, looking Draco with such intensity it might as well have made a hole through his skull. Him, on the other hand, was calmly eating his toast as if this was just the way every conversation went between them, and to be quite honest, you were pretty sure that they were.

That wasn’t the sign, though. It was when Pansy directed her killing gaze towards you, then you realized you were in for a rollercoaster.

She stomped her way to you in the most pouting child manner she could muster and you, who had quickly turned around as if if you couldn’t see her maybe she’d just pass you by. You had no such luck.

Your shoulders tensed as you heard a loud cough coming from your back, as you had flashbacks of Umbridge, you peered to the Golden Trio who were staring behind you in a curious way.

Turning to face her, you plastered the most polite smile possible. “Can I help you with anything, Parkinson?” Calling her by her surname made the phrase slightly rough in contrast to your intended soothing approach, but you weren’t about to call her Pansy. A flash of her strangling you came to mind, but you sent it away just as fast focusing on the pissed girl before you.

“Yes. You’re going to do me the favour of taking your eyes off of Dray. He’s mine.”

You stared her for a few moments, she couldn’t be serious right?

“I would not dare.” You laid out carefully. Whatever it was that bothered her seemed to be appeased after that.

“Good. He wouldn’t want you anyway, Gryffindor and a blood traitor.” Pansy huffed and left. Your eyes followed her until she left the Great Hall then you turned to your table to find more inquisitive faces.

“You’re talking with Malfoy now?” Harry was the first to ask.

“Twice and it was nothing much. Don’t know what the fuss was all about.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, Hermione.” You tried finishing your juice that was cast aside in the midst of the confusion.

“And you’re a hundred per cent certain that he’s not up to something?” It was Ron’s time to worry. “I mean, it’s Malfoy. You know how he is.”

“Exactly, I know how he is. Nothing happened.” You finished determinately putting your cup down and getting up. “I’ll see you in class.”

As you walked out though, your confidence wavered. Draco wasn’t planning anything, was he?

•••

You stared at the distorted reflection of your face on the glass jar that held the sherbert lemons. It wasn’t your favourite option, you really wanted some chocolate frogs but you had forgotten to grab enough money on your hurry to get out.

The plan was to have some butterbeer with Hermione, Harry and Ron so you grabbed the money you needed for that and nothing else. So if you were to give in to your cravings and buy the chocolate you wouldn’t have enough for the beer, but you did have for a few sherbert lemons. That’s why you were now staring at the jar, considering your options. On what you thought was an empty isle on Honeyducks.

“Didn’t take you for the kind to like the sour stuff.” At this point, you didn’t even turn to acknowledge him.

“I don’t, but it’s all I’ve got money for. So is take or leave it.”

“What do you really want?” Your gaze travelled to his face. He was standing beside you, hands on his pockets, hair perfectly in place even with all the wind out there and all you wanted to do was mess it up. Though you thought that even if Draco had the ability to have a bad hair day, he’d probably pull it off, so you relented.

“I’m not taking charity.” He rolled his eyes.

“You’re very sure of yourself if you think I’m trying to buy you something.”

“Oh, and you’re not?” You turned to face him properly, crossing your arms.

“Of course not.”

“So why did you ask what I really wanted?”

“Curiosity.” Here he comes, all smirky again. “Future reference.” Draco shrugged.

You were fighting it but you couldn’t help that the corners of your mouth lifted just the tiniest bit. And of course, he noticed, because his smile only grew.

“Shouldn’t you be buying Pansy something?”

“Why would I?” He frowned.

“Well, after the little stunt in the Great Hall were she laid claim on you, I’d just expected that it’d be the case.”

“Pansy seems to think that I belong to her, somehow. She’s way over her head.” He inclined, his face only a breath away. “Is that what you wanted to hear?” His voice was way lower than usual and that did something to you because suddenly you forgot how to process what he implied with that and you just stared at his eyes.

But as soon you saw the cockiness on his face, you broke away. “You owe me nothing.” And then you fled.

•••

Sitting in the shade of a tree, reading your notes for the exams, hearing the waves of the water on the Black Lake, admiring the view of the almost setting sun, you were so close to believing that you would finally have some peace and quiet.

Those dreams were shattered the moment you felt the presence take a seat beside you on the grass.

“You literally cannot think of a better way of spending your time?” You directed at him.

“Is it so hard to believe I enjoy your company?”

“Very much so.” The intention wasn’t for him to take it seriously, you thought it was pretty clear from your tone that you were teasing, but when you turned to him after a moment of silence his expression was way too serious.

“I know it might be difficult to wrap your head around it, but I like you a little bit too much for my own sake.” Merlin only knew that you should have paid more attention to his choice of words.

That was most certainly not what you expected. You stared at him for a while, trying to read his expression, but he seemed determined.

So maybe you shouldn’t have done it, maybe you shouldn’t have leaned forward and kissed him, maybe he really was just playing you, and that sure as hell was very sudden but when you felt his lips on yours everything just flew away from your head.

You were a little bit too mesmerized by the effect he was causing on you that you almost missed when he placed a little box on your open palm.

A chocolate frog, you realized when you separated and looked down. That brought a grin on your face that may or may not have been there for the rest of the day.

•••

You fought your way out of the mass of students getting out of potions class, a few people might have received an elbow on their face, but really what were they doing with their faces where you could reach it?

As they dispersed you noticed a hand on your arm, and no, it wasn’t Draco this time.

“Look, Parkinson, I’m not in the mood.” She just gave you a secretive smile and handed you a letter.

“Just wanted to give you some correspondence.” And with that, she was off.

•••

“What is this supposed to mean?” You had wandered the entirety of Hogwarts grounds to find him and in the meantime, your rage did not die down. The words on the paper were as clear on your mind is if you had memorised it on the one time you read it.

He looked down at the piece of parchment being shoved at his chest and when the glint of recognition appeared in his eyes, he knew he had a big storm coming.

“Befriend the girl? Is this what this whole thing was about?” You stared at his eyes, you never wanted to smack his head on the wall that badly. You could feel yourself shaking with contained rage. No, this time he had stoop too low. “Nothing? You have nothing to say for yourself?” You wanted to scream in his face for him to do something, say something but you wouldn’t make a show of yourself. He already had done it for you.

“If I told you that there was so much more at stake and I didn’t do this for some kind of sick pleasure, would you believe me?” The resignation in his eyes told you that he already knew the answer.

“I wish I could, but when have you ever told the truth?” You left your hand fall away, he didn’t make a move to grab the incriminating letter as if fell to the ground. He also didn’t come after you when you left.

[enbyleighlines]

Prompts you say? *rubs hands with glee* XuanLi and "date night" (pre or post marraige/jin ling)?

Yeeeeeeeeeee a XuanLi prompt!!! I was so psyched to receive this, anonymous! I hope you enjoy this~

—

It’s February 19th, a Friday, and the night before Jin Zixuan’s twenty-fourth birthday. Tomorrow, they’ll have a more formal celebration. But on that particular evening, Jin Zixuan and his wife Jiang Yanli decide to take advantage of the opportunity to have a date night.

It’s the first date night they’ve had since Jin Ling’s birth, just a little under three months ago. Jin Zixuan is just a touch nervous. Though he and Jiang Yanli have been happily married for a while now, and were dating even before that, he feels an old insecurity rising from the depths of his subconscious.

In short, Jin Zixuan wants to prove himself worthy of his amazing wife.

They drop A-Ling off at Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning’s apartment. The two men are already well accustomed to babysitting two-year-old Wen Yuan, so choosing them as A-Ling’s caretakers for the night was a no-brainer. Still, it will be A-Ling’s first night without either of his parents. Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli take turns detailing all of A-Ling’s little quirks and habits, and his schedule for feeding. Even Jiang Yanli, who Jin Zixuan relies on to be the paradigm of calm and rational thought, seems to be just barely holding herself together.

It’s clear that they’re both just procrastinating, and soon Jiang Yanli’s big-mouthed Da-Didi is trying to usher them towards the door with an on-loop feedback of, “Yes, uh-huh, I understand, yes, okay, sure...”

Just as Jin Zixuan starts explaining how to change A-Ling’s diaper, Wei Wuxian seems to lose any lingering patience.

“Yes, thank you, I know how to change a diaper,” Wei Wuxian cuts Jin Zixuan off, laughing to ease the rude interruption, “A-Yuan here is still in pull-ups. So stop worrying, and go have fun.”

The toddler in question is at Wei Wuxian’s leg, eyes fixated on the fussing baby in his arms.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Jiang Yanli says. She takes a deep breath and visibly centers herself. “I didn’t mean to patronize you, A-Xian,” she adds, cupping his cheek, “I’m just...”

“This is your first night away from him, I know,” Wei Wuxian finishes, “But I’m going to take good care of him. I promise.”

At last, Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli have no excuses left to linger. They each give their son a couple more kisses each. He’s asleep, and doesn’t even stir at the touch of lips to his forehead.

Still, Jin Zixuan hesitates at the threshold.

Wei Wuxian takes A-Ling’s chubby little fist in his hand and makes him wave. “Bye bye,” Wei Wuxian says in a ridiculously high pitched voice, “Bye Boba, bye Mama.”

Jin Zixuan tries to snort, but he ends up smiling.

—

Even though it’s Jin Zixuan���s birthday celebration, he insists on going to Jiang Yanli’s favorite restaurant. After all, she’s the professional chef, even if she’s currently on maternity leave.

Her favorite restaurant is named after the lake it’s located beside. The outside tables sit on a large dock, right out on the water. They serve seafood, in the traditional Sichuan cuisine style. Most of their dishes have a fiery red broth, which Jin Zixuan still thinks is an affront to nature. How can a liquid burn like fire in the mouth? But Jiang Yanli loves her spice, so he keeps mum.

Unfortunately, since it’s winter, outside seating is not yet available. Luckily, Jin Zixuan had made reservations for one of the booth tables near the window. That way, they are still able to see the lake.

As per tradition, they order the hotpot to share, and admire the calm ripples of the water as they wait.

“It’s a good thing you made a reservation,” Jiang Yanli says after a moment of comfortable silence, “This place is super busy tonight.”

She’s not exaggerating. The waitresses aren’t running around like headless chickens, but they have that frenzied look on their faces that suggests that they are just seconds away from doing so. Jin Zixuan watches as yet another couple arrives, pushing their way through the crowd of people gathering by the front door.

“So much for this place being a hidden gem,” Jin Zixuan replies.

“It’s good that they’re finally getting the recognition they deserve, though.” That’s just like Jiang Yanli, always looking for the silver lining.

Jin Zixuan finds himself smiling. “You’re right,” he says, “Good for them.”

Jiang Yanli beams in return. But there’s a slight crack in it, that Jin Zixuan only recognizes because he’s grown to know her so intimately over the years.

He reaches out to take her hands in his. “Do you miss A-Ling already?”

The smile falls, and Jiang Yanli laughs, kind of bashfully. “Ah, am I being that obvious?” She asks.

Jin Zixuan shrugs. “No. I miss him, too.”

All the tension drains from Jiang Yanli’s shoulders, and her smile returns, smaller than before, but still sincere. “It’s silly, isn’t it? It’s only been, what, twenty minutes? I’ve taken longer baths than that before.”

“I don’t think it’s silly,” Jin Zixuan argues, “Or... are you calling me silly?” He raises an eyebrow, in what Jiang Yanli affectionately calls his ‘Dreamworks face.’

As he intended, Jiang Yanli bursts into delightful giggles. She covers her mouth with her wrist as she laughs, muffling the sound with her sleeve. When her gigglefest subsides, she says, “But you ARE silly, A-Xuan. But not for missing your son. Just in general.”

“Just in general?” Jin Zixuan snorts. “Well, that’s fine, then.”

The waitress brings their drinks. They’ve decided to share a bottle of champagne, of Jin Zixuan’s favorite’s brand. Jin Zixuan pours for both of them. He not so subtly shows off his pristine drink pouring etiquette, which his father’s rich friends once taught him.

Jiang Yanli awards him with soft applause, even though she’s seen his flaunt this skill many times before.

Jin Zixuan chuckles, kind of embarrassed but mostly flattered. It was the exact reaction he had been hoping for. “You’re adorable,” he tells her fondly.

They clink their glasses. “To turning twenty-four,” Jiang Yanli says, “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

“To returning to work,” Jin Zixuan returns.

They both take a sip. Jin Zixuan savors his with closed eyes and an after-swallow sigh. While it fizzles pleasantly down his throat, he turns his attention back to his wife. “How do you feel, going back to work on Monday?”

Jiang Yanli laughs forcibly, and turns her face. “It’ll be nice to go back,” she says vaguely.

“You can take more time off,” Jin Zixuan suggests, “if you don’t feel ready.” He pauses, and then adds, “But I think you should go back. It will take some time to adjust, but it’ll be good for you.“

Jiang Yanli watches him, looking torn.

“I’ll support you either way, obviously,” Jin Zixuan rushes to assure her, “I’ll always support whatever decision you make, A-Li. But I know how much you enjoy your work. You obviously miss it. You’ve been cooking more food than our fridge can hold.”

Jiang Yanli nods, and bites her lip. “You’re right,” she says, “But still... I’m not sure I’m ready to be away from A-Ling for a whole day.”

“I understand. That’s how I felt, too, when I had to go back to class.” Jin Zixuan leans forward and rubs his thumb over Jiang Yanli’s wrist, underneath her sleeve, right against her pulse. “I may not have looked like it, but secretly I was a mess.”

“Oh no, it wasn’t a secret,” Jiang Yanli teases, “You’re many great things, but you’re not subtle, darling.”

Jin Zixuan laughs. “Well, I tried to hide it,” he amends, “Anyway, I was a mess, but do you know what I learned? That stupid adage that mothers tell their children about ripping off bandaids is true. The quicker you pull it off, the less painful it is. And you’re strong, A-Li. I think you’ll be surprised with how quickly you adjust.”

“I don’t feel strong,” Jiang Yanli says with a sigh, “I feel fragile.” She moves her hand to curl their fingers together.

Jin Zixuan squeezes her fingers. “You’re not,” he promises, “You’re the strongest person I know. But if you think you need another week, or two, I doubt your boss will hold it against you.” That last part is a joke, since Jiang Yanli’s boss is Jiang Fengmian, her father.

Jiang Yanli giggles again. “No, I don’t think he will,” she agrees. Then her mood shifts again, and her jaw sets in steely determination. “But you’re right,” she says, “I miss work.”

Her tone implies that she’s made up her mind. Jin Zixuan encourages her by swiping his thumb across her palm.

“I’ll go back on Monday,” Jiang Yanli declares aloud.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Jin Zixuan says, and pulls her hand to his lips for a kiss. “I can’t wait to hear about all of the hot gossip you’ve missed.”

When Jiang Yanli laughs this time, it shakes her body.

Jiang Yanli works with a lot of chatty women, most of them suburban soccer moms. Along with Yu Ziyuan, they like to spend their shifts swapping updates on whatever drama is going on in their neighborhoods. Jiang Yanli has made it a habit to share the juiciest tidbits with Jin Zixuan when she gets home. Usually she does this while they share wine, as a tribute to their gossipy mothers, who used to do the same thing when they were children. It started out as a joke, after Jiang Yanli found out about Jin Zixuan’s secret love of reality TV shows, but over time, it’s evolved into activity both of them enjoy.

“True,” Jiang Yanli says once she’s gotten ahold of herself, “I’ve been dying to know if Zhang Li ever got her grandmother’s armoire back from her ex.”

“If she hasn’t, let her know I’ll go to her ex’s place to pick it up,” Jin Zixuan informs her, “It’s ridiculous, letting him keep it that long. What if he tries to sell it? From what you’ve told me, her ex sounds like the kind of shameless man who would do something like that.”

Jiang Yanli nods sagely. “I’ll let her know. She’ll probably decline, but she’ll appreciate the offer nonetheless.”

“Yeah, Zhang Li is quite proud, isn’t she?” Jin Zixuan sighs. He’s met her — and Jiang Yanli’s other co-workers — a few times through parties and work events. They’re quite a bit of fun, for suburban soccer moms.

“Almost as prideful as you,” Jiang Yanli agrees with a playful smile.

Jin Zixuan gives a fake affronted noise. “I’ve gotten better,” he protests, half joking and half sincere.

“You have,” Jiang Yanli agrees easily. She strokes his cheek, letting the tips of her fingers trace the outline of his jaw. “But you also have a lot to be proud of. So I don’t blame you for it.”

Jin Zixuan can’t help himself; he feels himself puff up like a presenting peacock. He loves the way she looks at him like that, like he’s the center of her universe.

If Jiang Cheng and/or Wei Wuxian were here, they’d surely tease him for posturing. They still like to call him “peacock”, though it’s said with far less venom in their voice than before Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli got together. But Jin Zixuan doesn’t much care. His wife is right: he DOES have a lot to be proud of.

Jin Zixuan has an amazing wife, for starters. He has a vibrant baby boy, who is already developing a strong personality. He’s at the top of all of his classes at law school, since he’s actually putting some effort into his education for once in his life. He even has a plan for after graduation. His Da-didi, A-Yao, and him are going to inherit the Jin Brothers & Associates law firm from their father and uncle. Except, instead of catering to businesses, they’ll transform it into one that helps people. They want to use their law degrees to protect women. It’ll be their way of giving back, after all the women their father has hurt over the years.

So, yeah. Jin Zixuan IS allowed to be proud.

“You should proud, too,” Jin Zixuan tells his wife, his A-Li, “I meant it when I said you were the strongest person I know. If I have anything to be proud of, it’s because I’ve had you with me, supporting me.”

“Aww, sweetheart.” Jiang Yanli blushes deeply, and looks to her lap. She still gets timid whenever he tries to flirt with her, like she reverts back into the schoolgirl who had a mad crush on him through all of elementary, middle, and high school.

But he’s not trying to flirt with her or flatter her right now. So Jin Zixuan insists, “It’s true. I love you. I love you so much.”

That makes Jiang Yanli look back up. She’s much more familiar with this side of him, the side that speaks seriously, even when discussing mundane topics.

She melts, as if his gaze is warming her like sunshine. “I love you, too,” she says.

[x0401x]

Gakuen K Drama CD: Dog-Monkey Relationship

Raw version here. Please message me about possible corrections.

Saruhiko: Gakuen K Wonderful School Days V Edition – Bonus Drama CD. “Dog-Monkey Relationship”.

Tatara: Maro! Maro! Hmm... he’s nowhere... where did he go? Lunch break will be over soon... I wonder if I should resume looking after classes end... Ah, I know. I’ll have Yata and Kamamoto help me out.

Ah, hello, Yata? I have a favor to ask... are you free right now? To tell the truth, it looks like one of my classmate’s pet dog disappeared. It’s someone I usually rely on, so I want to lend her a hand. The name is Maro. It seems it was still at home yesterday night, so I guess it shouldn’t have gone too far. If you don’t mind, I want you to help me search for it. Really? Hah, I’m glad... Then, relay this to Kamamoto. I’m counting on you!

It should be easy like this. Huh? That person is... Heeeey!! King!!

Mikoto: Ahn?

Tatara: Hey, King, haven’t you seen a dog with round eyebrows in this area?

Mikoto: I haven’t... and why are you looking for a dog on campus?

Tatara: Hum... actually...

Saruhiko: Today’s afternoon class will be... at the backyard, huh? Gotta check on the backyard’s situation... since the Reds have been gathering there.

Hmph... it seems there’s no one around... hm?

I feel a stare... and a weak presence. Looks like... someone from the Red Club is hiding here. Are they thinking it would be troublesome if they were seen or something like that? First things first, I gotta make them lower their guard...

No peculiarities in the backyard. Guess I’ll return to the classroom. Is that what you thought I’d say? You’d been busted from the start! Get out of there alrea—

[animal noises]

Saruhiko: Eh? A dog?

Maro: *barks*

Saruhiko: *sigh* Why is a dog in a place like this? On top of it, it’s got incredibly round eyebrows... Hah, whatever... Then, I guess... it would be okay to just kick it to the other side of the fence? Hey. Come here.

Maro: *barks and pants*

Saruhiko: You’re a stupidly obedient fellow, huh? Don’t you know how to suspect people?

Maro: *licks*

Saruhiko: Tsk! Don’t lick my hand, it’s gross! *sigh* This fence... is pretty tall... it would be a problem if he died after I kicked him out. And if, by any chance, this dog was brought here by Captain... there’s no telling what I’d have to hear later. Well... I can’t imagine Captain bringing a dog to school like it’s normal... actually, I don’t want to. Ah... tsk... It’s not like I can leave it here, either... Anyways, while no one has found out about him yet... ah, crap! Someone’s coming!

Those are... Misaki and... Kamamoto? What’re they talking about...? Hm? “Lost”? “Totsuka”...? “Dog”... “Round”?

Maro: *barks*

Saruhiko: Don’t be so loud! Dammit! What about Misaki and Kamamoto? Ah, they left... *sigh*... Wha... what am I hiding for? But... I don’t wanna be found by them... Only, with this, I’ve understood the situation. Guess I’ll just go and give him to Totsuka-san.

Saruhiko: The end-of-class bell... Argh... tsk, I’m damn screwed... This is a pain, so should I just abandon the dog and go? If an idiotic animal that doesn’t remember where his own home is dies by the roadside, it has nothing to do with me. Come on. Just leave.

Maro: *whines*

Saruhiko: *groans* Why won’t you move? I’m telling you to leave.

Maro: *whimpers*

Saruhiko: What’s with those eyes? Do you actually think that, if you pull off an innocent act, anyone will be kind to you? I hate this sort of soft thinking!

Maro: *nuzzles*

Saruhiko: Tsk...! Damn dog...

Saruhiko: Looks like we’ve managed to come all the way here without being noticed by anyone... now all left to do is go down these stair... ugh!

Did they leave? If I’m discovered by anyone, they’ll make a fuss and it’ll be a pain... Ah! Don’t move inside my clothes! Stay put...! Haaah... why did it have to be me...?

Saruhiko: *sigh* Finally arrived. If it’s the rooftop, no one will come till classes are over. Hey. You can come out now.

Maro: *barks*

Saruhiko: *groans* I’m really tired. On top of it, this period was... Awashima-sensei’s class. Later, she’ll definitely complain that... I skipped it. Tsk, running around without knowing how others are feeling... this is why I hate dogs. Hey, dog! I’ll sleep until the end of classes! Don’t wake me up.

Maro: *barks*

Saruhiko: Nngh...

Maro: *pants*

Saruhiko: Nnngh...

Maro: *pants*

Saruhiko: Ngh, you’re so noisy!! Why are you peeking at me from so close?! Your panting is loud and it’s condensing on my face! Hah, what’s that? A ball? You found that here? Uh... you don’t possibly... intend to play with me using this, do you?

Maro: *barks*

Saruhiko: Haaah... *throws* Play by yourself!

Maro: *runs off*

Saruhiko: Aah, so annoying... ugh, you already brought it back?! Tsk! J-Just one more time!

Maro: *grunts*

Saruhiko: Hey, why are you chewing the ball and not giving it to me? If you don’t wanna hand it over, play on your own! Go somewhere else! What’s with those eyes that look like you wanna say something? Do you want me to praise you? You want me to praise you for bringing the ball and throw it again?? That’s one pretty self-asserting dog... Couldn’t it be... that you aren’t lost, but was abandoned? I can’t imagine someone raising such a pain in the ass of a living being out of free will... Tsk! Damn... I just gotta do it, right?! *sigh* There, there. Good boy.

Maro: *growls*

Saruhiko: Why are you growling?! Guess I was too nonchalant... You did very well. Just gimme this ball already...

Maro: *whines*

Saruhiko: Still not enough? Tsk! Theeere, there, there! You were amazing!

Maro: *barks*

Saruhiko: There! *throws* Don’t come here anymore! Go play alone. Hah... Didn’t I tell you not to come?! Tsk! You’re great! Good boy! Very good, very good!

Saruhiko: All right! You did a good job bringing this ba...

Mikoto: Hey, what’re you doing in a place like this?

Saruhiko: Mikoto-san...!

Mikoto: Ahn? What did you just hide there?

Saruhiko: Kh...! I’m not... hiding anything.

Maro: *barks*

Mikoto: That so?

Saruhiko: Tsk!

Mikoto: That’s surprising, Fushimi... you were a dog lover?

Saruhiko: As if. I have no interest in any animal. Especially not impudent ones that come after you even though you didn’t ask for it, like dogs. As a member of the Blue Club, I’m merely keeping watch on an outsider that trespassed into the academy.

Mikoto: That so?

Maro: *whines*

Mikoto: Hm. *pats* I’ll sleep here for a while. Fushimi, you can play around without paying me any mind.

Saruhiko: Tsk! You really don’t listen to others...

Mikoto: Did you say anything?

Saruhiko: No.

Saruhiko: Hm? This is the after-school bell... Eh, this is bad! Mikoto-san is... not here anymore? That dog is... sleeping because it got tired from playing. Tsk!

[ringtone]

Tatara: Yes, yes! This is Totsuka speaking! Uh? Fushimi? Eh? Go to the rooftop now? What... ah. He hung up. Oh, well. Rooftop, rooftop...

Tatara: It’s rare to be called by Fushimi! Could this be a love confession? Or maybe an invitation for a duel?

Saruhiko: I have no time to go along with disgusting jokes. Weren’t you... looking for that?

Tatara: “That”? *gasp* AAAH! These perfectly round eyebrows...! Maro! But how did Fushimi...?

Saruhiko: I merely found him during lunch break. Afterwards... I heard Misaki and the others talking about him...

Tatara: EH?! Could it be... you’d been watching over him all this time until now??

Saruhiko: I just... coincidentally felt like skipping class.

Tatara: *giggles* Is that so? But that came in handy! The dog’s owner will be happy too. Ah, that’s right. I have to tell King that the dog was found...

Saruhiko: Mikoto-san... knew about the dog?

Tatara: Hm? That’s right. We met during lunch break.

Saruhiko: If he knew, he should have just said so...

Tatara: Is something wrong?

Saruhiko: Aah... no. Please tell the owner not to let this happen again. I don’t want to take care of a dog ever again.

Tatara: Thank you, Fushimi.

Despite all of this, he seems to be smiling in his sleep... it doesn’t look like he was lost at all. When I think of what kind of expression Fushimi might’ve had when making company to this doggie... *giggles* It must have been interesting...

Now, Maro. Shall we return to your master’s side? If you feel like seeing Fushimi again, I’ll bring you to him anytime, okay?

[jennycalendar]

Imperfections (24/?)

ao3

will i stop posting these at midnight??? probably not

“Ronnie, deadbeat. Steve, klepto. Kenny…drummer.” Faith rattled off the names easily, looking at Buffy out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge her reaction. “Eventually, I just had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet. Now it's strictly get some, get gone. You can't trust guys.”

“You can trust some guys,” said Buffy. Faith gave her a doubtful look, and Buffy added earnestly, “Really, I've read about them.”

Faith laughed. “Yeah. So, what about you?”

“You mean like, me and guys me?” There was a sudden edge to Buffy’s voice.

“Mm-hm,” said Faith carefully.

“Not much to tell these days,” said Buffy simply.

Faith kind of wanted to keep pushing, but the guarded look on Buffy’s face reminded her a lot of various tense moments with Jen and Giles. Whatever this was, it was something Buffy didn’t feel like sharing just yet, and honestly, that kind of sucked. Back when Faith had first come to Sunnydale, she’d thought that Buffy was closed-off, but now she was starting to miss even that Buffy.

“You know what?” she said. “We're oh for six tonight. Why don't we just blow this off?”

“Yeah. I am kinda beat,” Buffy agreed, then faltered. “But Shady Hill's pretty close.”

“I'll swing through it,” said Faith casually. “It's on my way anyway.”

“Alone?” Buffy replied hesitantly. “I-I don't know if I'd…”

“I’ve already got that evaluator lady on my back. I don’t need another babysitter,” said Faith, hoping that that sounded reassuring enough. “I’ll holler if I’m having any fun.”

“Okay,” said Buffy a little reluctantly.

“Later,” said Faith, still keeping her voice light and breezy as she walked towards Shady Hill.

She was a little glad to be alone. She had a lot to think about. Buffy, who was sweet strawberry-milkshake girl one minute and closed-off mystery girl the next. Mrs. Post, who seemed pretty invested in making Faith see how important it was that a Vampire Slayer couldn’t have people who put her before the world.

Except—

Buffy had that. Buffy had always had that. Buffy had a mom, and a dad, and a bunch of friends that Faith still barely ever talked to. Buffy had everything that Mrs. Post said Faith couldn’t have, and that just didn’t add up. What, was Faith supposed to be the Slayer without the life so that Buffy could slack off and have hers? If Mrs. Post really thought that Faith wasn’t in a good learning environment, she’d be trying to pull Buffy out of that situation too.

Or maybe Mrs. Post just kind of figured that Buffy was some kind of a lost cause, what with all the time she’d been living with parents and friends and all that jazz. Maybe Mrs. Post thought Faith would be easier to reach because she hadn’t been in Sunnydale as long as Buffy. The thought of being the Council’s last hope filled Faith with a strange mixture of pride, guilt, and fear. By all rights, it should be Buffy who the Council was depending on—Faith was kind of a mess.

But Mrs. Post hadn’t even paid attention to Buffy. Faith was going to have to leave this life she just found while Buffy stayed in Sunnydale, slaying vamps with friends and family. The thought of leaving Sunnydale with the knowledge that there was a relatively happy Vampire Slayer living there made Faith angry.

“God, I really hope there’s something for me to beat up when I get to Shady Hill,” she said emphatically, rounding the corner to the cemetery.

“Ah! Yes. There we are.” Rupert entered the kitchen, looking adorably rumpled from all the boxes of books he’d been sorting through, and placed an open book on the kitchen table. Jenny stepped closer to him, looking down at the page he was pointing to. “There's a wood engraving. See? The Glove of Myhnegon.”

Mrs. Post, sitting at the kitchen table, barely glanced up. “Yes, engraved by Father Theodore of Wolsham.”

“Yes,” Rupert agreed.

“Based, I believe, on very sketchy and unreliable folk legends,” said Mrs. Post matter-of-factly. “The pictures are fun to look at, Mr. Giles, but one really ought to read the nice words as well.”

Jenny, furious, was already halfway to insulting the entire Watchers’ Council when Rupert placed a hand on the small of her back. The kettle went off. “Some tea, perhaps?” he asked, a gentle warning in his voice.

“Yep. Tea.” Jenny sat down at the kitchen table, making sure to choose the chair across from Mrs. Post instead of next to her.

“I know that you must find me tiresome, but it's insidious, really,” commented Mrs. Post. Rupert stepped forward with a tea platter, setting it down on the table and pouring some hot water into the cup in front of him. Mrs. Post looked down at her own cup. “A person slips up on the little things,” she continued, taking out the teabag, “and soon everything has gone to hell in a handbasket.”

Rupert poured Jenny half a cup of tea before Jenny stopped him. “I probably need something stronger tonight,” she said, only half joking.

Mrs. Post opened her purse, taking out a small box of tea. “For example…Buffy, your Slayer.”

“Wow,” said Jenny. “You carry tea everywhere, or just when you want to make a point?”

Rupert pressed his lips together, looking thoroughly exhausted. Jenny felt a pinprick of guilt; her being sarcastic almost definitely didn’t help the evaluation, and she had a feeling that that put a lot of stress on him. She’d have to try to tone it down a little. “Mrs. Post,” Rupert said, pouring Mrs. Post some hot water, “I can assure you that Buffy is both dedicated and industrious, and I am in complete control of my Slayer.”

The doorbell rang, followed immediately by someone banging on the door. “Giles! Ms. Calendar!” Xander shouted.

“Use the key, Xander,” called Jenny, very grateful for an interruption.

They heard the sound of a key in a lock, and soon after, Xander tumbled through the door, sprinting into the kitchen and knocking into Jenny. “Sorry,” he gasped, very out of breath. “It’s just—we have a big problem. It’s Buffy.”

Mrs. Post raised an eyebrow.  

Rupert winced. “Will you excuse us?” he inquired. Without waiting for an answer, he took Jenny’s arm, tugging her out of the kitchen with him and shutting the door behind them. “What’s going on, Xander?”

Xander, who had been looking almost comically panicked, sobered. He glanced between Rupert and Jenny a few times before answering heavily, “Angel’s back.”

Jenny blinked. “Is that all?” she asked without really thinking.

Rupert gave her a look.

Xander stared. “Is that—what do you mean is that all? Did you know?”

“Wait.” Jenny frowned. “How do you know?”

“Oh no.” Xander held up a hand. “I want to hear how you know first.”

“Jenny?” Rupert turned to her, taking her hand in his.

“Uh,” Jenny tried to collect her thoughts, “well, when Pete and Buffy were fighting, I—I thought I saw Angel, but Rupert and I thought it was just nerves. I only found out that I’d really seen him when Debbie said something at Homecoming about seeing a vampire kill Pete.”

“That’s all we knew,” Rupert added. “We didn’t tell anyone but Buffy because neither of us were exactly sure what Angelus was planning, and he hadn’t actually hurt anyone.”

“He still hasn’t,” Jenny added. “The death count isn’t as high as it was when Angelus was first on the loose.”

Xander nodded slowly. “Huh,” he said. “I guess that’s some small consolation.”

“What do you mean?” said Jenny apprehensively.

“I found out Angel’s back because I saw him grabbing something from a crypt,” said Xander uncomfortably. “I followed him—”

“Xander,” said Jenny sharply.

“What? No one else was there to do anything!” Xander objected indignantly.

“You can’t just follow Angel on your own!” Jenny said, her voice higher and tenser than she’d intended. “You see something that dangerous, you call me.”

“Yeah, because you’re so accessible nowadays,” Xander muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jenny asked sharply.

Xander winced. “Uh. Nothing. Doesn’t matter. Anyway, I followed Angel to—”

“You can’t just say something like that and drop the subject,” persisted Jenny.

“Pardon me,” called Mrs. Post from the kitchen, “but would you like some assistance?”

“Thank you, that won’t be necessary,” Rupert called back with a feigned smile.

“Xander, being passive-aggressive is going to get you nowhere,” said Jenny pointedly.

“Look, Ms. Calendar, maybe we can talk about this when you’re not busy fussing over Faith,” snapped Xander.

There was an abrupt, uncomfortable silence.

“Perhaps I should go make some more tea,” said Rupert nervously. Jenny grabbed his arm, holding him in place.

Xander seemed to realize what he’d said, but he didn’t take it back. “I’m glad that Faith’s so important to you,” he continued awkwardly. “I mean—I know she needs it. But Willow and I barely ever see you, and when we do, you’re always researching with Giles or teaching your class. Willow almost skipped school last week because she was so sad about you ignoring her that she wasn’t sure if she could even pull off going to class, and it was me that talked her out of it. Not you.”

Jenny thought about all the times she’d tried to make it clear over the summer that she’d be there for Willow, and how it must have then felt for Willow when Faith showed up out of the blue. “God,” she said quietly. “I guess I’m not as good at balancing things as I thought.”

Xander shrugged. “Guess you’re not,” he said coolly.

“I’m going to talk to her as soon as this evaluation is over,” Jenny said with conviction.

“You got anything to say to me?” Xander asked, challenging.

Jenny bit her lip. “I—”

“Anyway,” said Xander shortly. “Putting aside our own unresolved issues for a little while, we need to talk about Angel and Buffy.”

Rupert started. “Angel…and Buffy?”

Xander shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Like I was saying. I followed Angel to that mansion where…” He trailed off, but Jenny saw his eyes dart quickly to her crooked fingers. “Acathla,” he said. “And I got there, and Angel and Buffy were kissing.”

Jenny thought back to Buffy’s tense expression in the library, back when she and Rupert had told Buffy about the possibility of Angelus’s return. She felt vaguely sick. “She knew,” she said.

Rupert had the same look of realization. “When I came in after Pete’s death,” he murmured, “I mentioned Jenny seeing Angel, and Buffy looked almost guilty. I never thought—I assumed that guilt was due to Jenny being hurt.”

“Yeah, well, it looks like it wasn’t,” said Xander bitterly. “I think we need to talk to Buffy.”

“All of us,” Rupert agreed.

“Not Faith,” said Jenny suddenly.

Xander pressed his lips together, very clearly biting back an angry retort, then looked up. “Why not Faith?”

Jenny sighed. She honestly hadn’t considered that focusing on Faith would have this big of an effect on Xander and Willow, and she felt horrible for not even bothering to think about it. “She cares a lot about Buffy,” she said finally. “It’s going to really hurt her to find out that Buffy’s kept this from her. I think she should talk to Buffy one-on-one.”

“Buffy didn’t tell us about Angel,” said Xander. “Why does Faith get the special treatment?”

“Because—” Jenny faltered. It took her a moment to find a genuine reason. “Because if Faith finds out any other way, there’s a chance she might run off and try to kill Angel. I don’t want that happening.”

“I don’t count that as all that much of a loss.” Xander’s expression was hard and angry. “He hurt you and Giles and the first thing he does when he comes back is make out with Buffy, not try and make things right with the rest of us. Seems like killing him is long overdue.”

“I won’t have anyone I love die trying to kill Angel,” said Jenny fiercely, stepping away from Rupert. “And that includes you, Xander.”

Something in Xander seemed to falter. He dropped his eyes to the ground. “I wasn’t sure about that one,” he said to his feet.

Jenny breathed out. “I’m so sorry,” she said. Her voice broke. “You and Willow were so good to me over the summer. I got so wrapped up in taking care of Faith that I never once checked in on how that might affect you.”

“I get that Faith doesn’t have parents,” said Xander quietly, still not looking up, “but I’d swap the parents I’ve got for having no parents any day.”

Rupert cleared his throat. “I’m going to check in on Mrs. Post,” he said uncomfortably.

Jenny grabbed Rupert’s arm again before he could leave. She really needed to talk to him about his attempts to avoid emotional situations. “We are a family,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “Not just a bunch of people thrown together fighting evil.” This part was kind of directed at Rupert too, because she wasn’t sure if he always understood that. “And Xander—you’re going to stay over here one day of every week.”

Xander did look up at that. “What?”

“What?” Rupert echoed, looking more than a bit perturbed.

“Once a week, you come and stay here,” said Jenny. “I’ll clear off some of the boxes and you can sleep on the couch.”

“What if I don’t want to do that?” Xander challenged her.

“Yes, what if he doesn’t?” Rupert added.

Jenny elbowed Rupert, gave him a shut up look, and said to Xander, “I want to fix things. This seems like a way to start. If I turn out to be wrong, you can tell me, but at least try spending one night over here. Rupert makes good pasta, and you and Faith can get to know each other a little better.”

“And you’re not asking Willow to do this?” said Xander doubtfully. “Seems like this kind of thing would be something that’d make her way happier than me.”

“Willow doesn’t have parents like yours,” Jenny replied simply, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Suddenly she felt a little like running; emotions were kind of scary, and parenting (did this count as parenting?) was even scarier. “I can find her a different kind of space.”

She saw the change in Xander’s expression—it was a subtle thing, but his eyes didn’t look so hard and angry. “Fine,” he said. “How’s Friday?”

[hutcherette]

Flowers in the Window Chapter 4

Wow only me 5 months to update, sorry! Life & work stuff just took over all my time.  I will try not to be so long in my next update. As always many thanks to my lovely beta and friend Heidi. She had a big job on her hands, as this chapter is rather long, so ta very much dude! :D xx Hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you for reading and for the lovely comments. Previous chapters can be found on A03

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7594528?view_full_work=true

"It'll have to do" Katniss muttered under breath after she had re-braided her hair for the fourth time that morning. She took a deep breath in, breathed out hard and studied her reflection in the small mirror above the basin in the female staff bathroom. 8:47 am. Nearly time to roll. Toying idly with the end of her braid she pulled out her go-to 'I'm fabulous' perfect nude lipstick for yet another coat. Letting out a resigned sigh she grabbed her handbag and opened the door quickly.

"Pull yourself together Everdeen" She chastised herself with a heated whisper.

 Unfortunately in the heat of scolding herself she hadn't noticed Johanna racing in the door. Her black duster coat whipping behind her.

"Woah there, Nelly! Are you trying to make my hangover worse than it already is?!" Jo gestured to her head, which Katniss was guessing, was pounding.

"Morning to you too Jo" she smiled patting the side of Jo's head sympathetically.

"Wild night?!"

"Wet n wild times K, all the way" Jo drawled winking at her friend. Katniss wrinkled her nose, turned back to the mirror and started toying again with her braid.

"So things good with Thresh still?"

"That man has moves that out-sex even Gloss" Jo replied pulling out her black kajal liner from her bag with the smirk of a cat who had recently had her fair share of top quality cream.

"Wow; even Gloss the man-whore extraordinaire? Well I guess it must be love," Katniss teased.

"Please." Jo rolled her eyes & applied a heavy line of sooty black in her lower waterline.

"Why are you in here anyway, K? It's almost bell and you don't fuss or primp your hair or makeup. Ever. If I didn't know you better I'd say you were avoiding the soon to be love of your life… or at least a couple of months of good lays."

 Exasperated, Katniss grabbed her handbag and started fidgeting with the zipper.

"I’m not avoiding him...I just...look...urgh we talked about this yesterday Jo, it's just all so...awkward."

"Oh come on K, it's only awkward because you're turning it into some dumb high school drama á la Delly! It's very simple. He likes you, you like him. You had some weird serendipitous meeting years ago where you hit it off with each other, so? Who cares? Get in his pants already!"

"Always boils down to one thing with you doesn't it Johanna?" Katniss snapped. Johanna glared at her from the mirror.

"Harsh, Everdeen. I'm actually trying to help you bring a bit of happiness into your life but if you're too brainless to see that then fine; stew in your own misery." She picked up her bag & turned to face Katniss.

"If you need me I'll be in the photocopier room. I just saw Mellark on his way to Trinkets room, just a heads up there to aid you in your little avoidance plan. He also asked me if I'd seen you..."

"What did you say?" Katniss asked in a half whisper staring down at the sink. She knew Jo was right, she had to give him and whatever they had or could have, a chance. The whole thing had been gnawing at her all weekend to the point where she couldn't sleep. She wanted to text him but this wasn't a simple case of boy meets girl, boy kisses girl, followed by the obligatory ‘oh so charming’ text games that usually lead to a first date or being ignored. She wanted to speak to him face to face but now the moment was here...she was terrified.

"I said no I hadn't. Besides why do you care? It's all too awkward right?!" Jo huffed back and walked out the door.

 The shrill clanging bell rang out breaking Katniss from her thoughts. Oh Shit she slapped her hand to her head. Monday mornings were her half day teaching in D12's kindergarten. The worst part of her week but she had been railroaded into it by Effie who had insisted how good the experience would look on her CPD plan this year although the truth of the matter was that every other staff member had passed up the opportunity to do it and Effie knew she could talk her round by bringing out the guilt inducing 'we need you Katniss' speech. Besides it was that or lunchtime detention duties 2 days a week. At least being there would give her head a break from Peeta mania. Mind you, the prospect of having to face Peeta later on with snot stains on her clothes and paint on her shoes didn't exactly thrill her either. Feeling a little more relaxed Katniss walked down the old rickety stairwell down into the main lobby, kindergarten bound. The years had not been kind to D12's main building, built in 1936 the red sandstone three storey building looked impressive from the exterior but inside was another story. Leaking roofs, peeling paint and some furniture that hasn't been replaced since Eisenhower meant that the school was often in a dilapidated condition. Mrs Cray wanted to bulldoze the entire building and rebuild but Cressida favoured fund raising events to preserve and fix, what was at its heart, a beautiful building full of character and history.

Katniss was rifling through her bag to find the key card that opened the kindergarten entry door when those smooth molten caramel tones echoed behind her. "Hey Katniss" Oh god. Oh god. Thought I'd at least have a couple of hours before facing him. She breathed out. 1-2-3. Slowly, she turned around, her eyes locking with a motherload of electric blue.

"Hi," she squeaked a little higher pitched than she intended. She cleared her throat trying to find a way to ground herself and not make this anymore awkward than it already was.

"Hi Peeta, hey, um how are you?" Those eyes twinkled and a soft smile crept over his lips.

"Not bad, all the better for seeing you."

If she wasn't so self-conscious she'd swear that Peeta's face flushed slightly. And then… Silence. Say something, say anything!

"Th-thanks you too. Hope the White Russians were kind to you next morning. I felt a little queasy but it wore off. Johanna swears by a Virgin Bloody Mary with her secret recipe hash browns & bacon breakfast. Really does sort you out..." Her voice trailed off as she realised she was in full babbling overload and that Peeta was smiling at her with a look of bemusement.

"I'll need to try that sometime. I personally prefer Cheese buns and a black coffee. I was helping out at the family bakery all day Saturday & that combination saved my ass. Not sure if White Russians were my best idea ever." "No, no they were good." Peeta beamed at her. As she started to feel lost in his eyes again.

"Mr Mellark! Where are you dear?" Effie trilled her clacking heels echoing off the concrete floor as she waltzed into the lobby. Her face a picture of panic as two children from Peeta's class walked sullenly behind her. One covering his nose with a blood stained tissue. "Two of your children have been fighting, yes fighting, in the playground!" She shrieked from behind. Peeta looked behind him and then smiled apologetically at Katniss.

"Sorry, looks like duty calls. Listen are you busy at lunch? I brought in left over cheese buns. I'd..." He hesitated as if trying to gauge what her answer would be. "I'd really like to talk...not to sound all heavy. But I'd like to explain why I didn't tell you what I knew on Friday night."

"I'm sorry I didn't text you Peeta. I, I, sorry it was just a lot to take in."

"Please, don't be – sorry I mean... Kinda figured you'd need some time. Hell, when I saw you for the first time last week, I definitely needed some time to process it all."

That smile, the one that made her melt the first time she had seen it through that crazy green headpiece, beaming at her, was full front and centre.

"Sure... um… meet me here, 12.15? I... I like buns.... cheese ones, I mean." She closed briefly her eyes cringing at her last statement. Learn to talk Everdeen.

"Good, good" he grinned, the look of relief pertinent on his face.

"Made by my own fair hand, so they should be tasty enough."

Was he flirting or was this just bakery chit chat?! Whatever it was she was starting to feel extremely warm again.

"Ok, um, I better get to Kindergarten. See you later." She clumsily turned around and gave him a wave.

"Give 'em hell, Dorothy girl" He smirked. Lord.

"I try," she mock sighed, pushing down on the door handle & walking through. Ok it was flirting, she grinned, definite flirting.

 *********

 "Sweet lord... unh… these are amazing," Katniss groaned and wiped her mouth self-consciously after what was her third cheese bun. Peeta laughed offering her a napkin and carton of orange juice.

"Honestly Peeta, your talents are obviously wasted here in the teaching profession. You bake like a bad ass." She grinned taking the carton. Jesus could I stop babbling at the cheese buns for 1 second and actually focus on the fact that Peeta and I are on a semi date?! And did I just say the phrase 'bake like a bad ass?' Do I now have the oracy skills of a ten year old?! Too many ridiculous questions were swirling around her brain. She took a long drink from the carton. Calm down Katniss, she mentally soothed herself. Not noticing her embarrassment Peeta grinned back at her.

"Ah, why thank you kind lady but I think I'll leave the bad ass for my time in the kitchen and keep the genteel for the classroom."

"Shame," she smiled back meekly. Peeta had been standing waiting for her at 12.15 on the dot outside the nursery doors. To be honest, after 3 hellish hours of dealing with runny noses, (one child has actually wiped his nose on her hand), repeated readings of The Gruffalo including one session where the Gruffalo and fox toy props were thrown across the room, seeing a gorgeous guy with knockout blue eyes holding a paper bag of freshly baked bakery goods was just the tonic. They sat on a bench under the huge willow tree in the front gardens of the school. It hadn't been as awkward as Katniss had worried it would be. Peeta was good at small talk and filling in silences, and just as she remembered from that fateful Halloween night, he always knew the right thing to say. Katniss reached over to take her juice carton, Peeta caught her eye and smiled at her, his cheeks looking slightly pinker than usual. Silence. Damn I spoke too soon. He cleared his throat and crumpled the paper bag causally in his hands.

"Uh Katniss, uh about the other night I..." the assured smooth talking stance seemed to be faltering.

"Yeah?" Katniss prompted.

"Well, ok here goes, I had this all rehearsed in my head and now I've messed it up already." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I like you Katniss. I've liked you since that night at the party. After we met I couldn't stop thinking about you but I was still involved with Cashm... my girlfriend at the time. We weren’t really getting on that well when we met but we had been together since high school and I wanted to make it work. It didn't though and we split up 2 years later. I wish, I had looked for you… God I wish so many things had been different. You were seeing a guy too right?"

"Yeah I was... um Gale. We broke up last year actually." She bit her lip. Where was this going? Did he regret meeting her, was it just too messy for them to even try and start something?

"Oh, I would say I'm sorry but..." He gently placed his hand over hers.

"But?" she breathed out shakily. The warmth of his hand was sending out those jolts of electric charge again.

"Well with no disrespect to Gale, his loss might be my gain?" Katniss smiled shyly, stroking his thumb gently.

"I couldn't believe it when I saw you here, just across the classroom. I wasn't sure if it was you at first. Having been a few years since that night and the fact that you weren't clad in gingham," he laughed softly. "I wanted to tell you at the Med but we were getting on so well and I guess I wanted to see if the same connection was still there, and it was... I felt it."

"I noticed you looking at me but thought maybe it was my imagination," she grinned.

"Why would you think it's your imagination?! You're beautiful. I don't think you know… the effect you have. "

Ok the fact that his head had come closer in proximity was definitely not her imagination. She feeling a little intoxicated. Those eyes and the fact that he had licked his lips were now all she could focus on.

"It's the same effect I felt at that party. It's dazzling, you're dazzling Katniss" He leaned forward, placed his hand on her cheek to cradle her face. His fingers softly grazed her temples. She could get lost in those hits of blue. She felt his breath on her lips, it was going to happen. Fuuucckkkk. She let out a soft squeak as she felt his lips graze hers. Heaven, heaven she sang in her mind. What - what what's that noise?! No, no! She groaned internally as the school bell rang with all its shrill intonations. She opened her eyes, Peeta touched her forehead with his. His fingers still stroking her face.

"Saved by the bell huh?!" He whispered huskily.

"Don't think I'd use the word 'saved' more like cursed," she rolled her eyes and lifted her hand up to stroke the tendrils of hair at the nape of his neck. He laughed and slowly pulled his head away but still holding her hand.

"Probably for the best really. Last thing we need is Effie hauling us into her office for unprofessional conduct."

Katniss laughed picking up her handbag and jacket.

"Hmm.... I think I would have risked it." He smiled bashfully, running a finger slowly from her temples to jaw. She shivered, oh god she was done for.

"Peeta Mellark... you live right on the edge don't you," she teased.

"Oh Miss Everdeen you have no idea," he winked cheekily. They walked up towards the school entrance in a happier much more comfortable silence. She stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"Thanks for lunch Peeta, it was... lovely." She felt her blush creep back with a vengeance.

"You're welcome. My class were in the gym hall for all of lunch. Cressida organised a judo instructor as a treat for their class of the week award. So I better go, and hope none of them try out any of their moves on me."

"Good luck with that," she laughed and started walking up the stairs.

"Uh Katniss...?”

She turned around. Nervous Peeta was back in business. "Would you like to get together one night this week? Dinner, or a movie or both?"

"Sure." Damn. She had gone for casual but it came out rather high pitched again. "I...I could cook dinner if you like, at mine. I'm no cordon bleu but I can whip up a mean Lasagne," she blurted out quickly. Her place?! Did she really say that? What was he going to think?! That she was easy. Learn also when to shut up Everdeen.

"Sounds fantastic. Are you free Friday night? You cook and I'll bring more buns?!"

"Yes: yes to all of the above. Seven a good time? And please do bring your buns, the more the merrier."

Peeta gave her a bemused look. "Yeah 7, I look forward to it and Katniss... my buns are always available," he grinned and walked away towards the gym hall before Katniss could respond. She was glad that wouldn't be able to witness how flustered and warm she had suddenly become again.

She was really going on a date with Peeta Mellark... monster boy... eyes that make all the panties drop. Oh lord she was done for.

  ******

 "Let me be clear, you... Katniss Everdeen... offered up your cooking?! To an innocent victim?!" Madge cackled down the phone line.

"What's wrong with my cooking, I don't remember you complaining when you had the flu and I looked after you for an entire weekend!" Katniss shot back. "Katniss that was mostly grilled cheese sandwiches and heated up pizzas, which you burned!" She continued to laugh.

"Uh no I did not! And that was 6 years ago! I've been practising. Anyway Jo's Lasagne recipe is fool-proof.”

Madge had phoned that night for a catch up and now it had turned into a critical appraisal of her Friday plans with Peeta.

"Ok, ok no more roasting of Katniss, pun intended. At least tell me what you're wearing?"

"I haven't thought about it, jeans maybe, black top."

"Pants on fire K, I know you too well. You're crazy about this guy, but trying to play it cool, your tried and tested defence mechanism against disappointment. Which is mental. It's Peeta friggin' Mellark! He's a gorgeous and a total sweetheart. Why didn't you tell me you guys met at the Halloween party?"

"You know why! Um, long standing boyfriend at the time, you remember him...6 foot 2, dark hair, answered to the name Gale?"

"Har har, I just meant, it would have saved you a lot of time had you guys got together years ago."

"I wasn't going to give up my relationship for a crush on a guy in a monster costume Madge!"

"Uh-huh look how well that turned out."

"I know…" Katniss replied sadly.

"I'm sorry Katniss, that was out of line. Just been a bitch of a day and Adam is driving me nuts." Madge sighed

"Please, it’s us, we always have a get out of jail free cards for crabbiness, especially if it's about men being assholes." Madge and her boyfriend, the same Adam Gloss from the infamous Halloween party, were in the middle of a messy breakup. Adam, at being the dumpee, had recently started behaving a petty and spiteful manner towards Madge resulting in weekly demands for clothes, books, or some other, often insignificant object, that he wanted back from her apartment.

"Thanks. But still I shouldn't take his shitty behaviour out on my best friend. He texted me earlier and demanded a shitty plastic shot glass that he brought me back from Bermuda. Seriously K, I'm so glad I ended it, look at the kind of guy he is. He's certainly no Peeta." She sighed wistfully at the end of the sentence. "Maybe you should date him," Katniss joked.

"Haha! Nuh-huh, I've heard he's got it baaaad for you Everdeen."

"What, please… How do you know that?"

"I have my sources, namely Johanna." Katniss could almost hear her smirking. "And when have you ever listened to Jo?!" She laughed.

"Jo's a little intense but that's half the fun right?! Anyway you still haven't told me what you're wearing? I think you should go and buy a new dress. I'm thinking a sexy black body con style with your hair loose in tousled waves... If I wasn't three hours away by plane l would be coming over and supervising this whole date, instead I'm entrusting Johanna to man the decks."

"Body con Madge? Seriously. It's a low key first date, not dress up like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Besides Glimmer wears all those sultry style clothes and it hasn't impressed Peeta one bit." Katniss bit her lip remembering how all over Peeta Glimmer was at the night out. "That's just not me."

"Ok I know, I know, I'm just so excited for you plus you have an amazing figure Katniss. You should show it off sometime."

"One step at time. Listen Madge gotta run. Call you Thursday night ok. Love you." Katniss walked over and opened the door to Jo.

"You too, say hi to Jo, bye."

After their disagreement in the bathroom Katniss had apologised and provided a peace offering in the form of Chinese food and allowing Jo to bring over a choice selection of possible date outfits.

"You're as bad as Madge!" Katniss groaned later, upon viewing the 2nd outfit in Jo's often inappropriate collection of dresses.

"Madge has got some damn good taste then!" She sniggered running her hand down an obscenely short dark red leather dress.

"No, and that's the end of it. Do you have anything here that is..." She caught Johanna's eye and her challenging expression and she inwardly flinched at possibly starting another row with her.

"That's what K?" Jo replied with slight defiance in her voice.

"Well..." Katniss chose her words carefully. "More... me?" She looked up feeling a little anxious about how Jo was going to respond. Much to Katniss's relief Jo grinned wickedly, pulling out a dress from underneath the red leather one. "Yeah, yeah I get you K," she rolled her eyes. "So I came prepared." "Whadda'ya think?" She held up a sleek looking fine knitted black ribbed sweater dress. "100% Italian wool, ya know."

"Oh my god Jo, that's beautiful. Why haven't I seen you wear this before?"

"It's a little strait laced for my taste." She winked. "My mom got it for my Christmas last year. Forgot I had it. She gets all these swish looking dresses at that boutique of hers. I guess she was trying to smarten me up."

"You don't need it, perfect as you are Mason." Katniss bumped her fist affectionately on Johanna's shoulder.

"Well duh obviously, Brainless!" She laughed tapping Katniss's hand. "Anyway it's yours if you want it?"

"I can't have this Jo, it must have cost a..."

"Two hundred and fifty eight plus tax... Yep she left the tags on, just have it Everdeen. Don't say I don't treat you!" Jo flung the dress at Katniss. "Go try it on... You're gonna look hot, Mellark will flip his little blondie lid!"

"Thanks Jo, this is perfect" Katniss examined the dress. It felt so soft between her fingers. She inwardly blushed thinking about Peeta checking her out in it. "Anytime. Now about your makeup. I'm thinking a dark red lip and killer contouring of those cheekbones." Katniss mock sighed loudly before heading to the bathroom.

"We'll see…"

"No way, if I'm giving you that dress you're getting the makeup I order." Jo called after her.

"Sure Jo, sure." Katniss laughed closing the door.

    The rest of the week had gone by in a blur of shy smiles and lingering glances across classrooms and stairwells. She hadn't got the chance to speak much to Peeta due to it being his turn to supervise lunchtime detention this week. By the time Friday afternoon came Katniss was beginning to feel definite pre-date jitters creeping up on her.

"What's the worst that could happen? Blondie won't put out on the first date." Johanna grinned mischievously as she gathered up a huge pile of homework sacks to give out.

"Har-har Jo, thanks. I feel much more at ease now," Katniss deadpanned. "Always happy to help K, - AARON CRAY WHAT DID MISS EVERDEEN JUST SAY?!" She thundered across the room to deal with more Cray shenanigans.

 "Hey,” that beautiful voice that she came to crave and be fearful of at the same time echoed in her ear.

"Gah," she spun round to see Peeta leaning against the door frame wearing a sinfully fitting blue shirt that just made the blue of his eyes pop out even more. "Sorry you startled me there Mr Mellark," she self-consciously pushed her hair behind her ear and felt her face begin that familiar burn again.

"Apologies Miss Everdeen."

That sexy grin should be god damned outlawed she inwardly groaned.

"Was just wondering if I could borrow your copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Promised the kids I'd read a chapter to them today."

"Sure thing," she walked over to her bookshelf behind her desk, smiling to herself. He could have sent his TA to get the book but he went instead. Yep must have definitely wanted to see her.

"Here you go, enjoy."

"Thanks and by the way," Peeta lowered his voice and looked furtively around the classroom for any eavesdroppers "We still on for tonight?"

"Yeah, yes definitely. Seven?"

"I'll see you then," he replied with a wink and turned around to leave. "Hey Mellark! I expect a good report," Johanna called across the room loudly.

Peeta looked a little stunned for a minute, rubbed the back of his beck and smiled back coolly.

"It'll be A star Miss Mason, I promise!"

The three kids standing beside Jo stared over at Katniss and Peeta looking completely perplexed.

"Hey you three, heads down and concentrate," Jo snapped then smirked at Katniss.

"See you later Katniss," Peeta smiled apologetically at her before walking out. "Jesus," she muttered as if her nerves weren't already frazzled. Would she even make it to 7 tonight?!

 *****

 Hair done, makeup on, dress on, ah shit perfume still to spritzed, teeth - not brushed!? Oh god yes good breath is imperative. Katniss continued to mentally compile the rest of her to do list while putting the lasagne in the oven. It was quarter to seven and she was running behind, and as Madge predicted the cooking wasn't quite up to Cordon Bleu standards. She had burned the onions in the Bolognese and had to run out to the corner shop to hastily get some more and now the fucking whipping cream for the individual trifles wasn't whipping.

'Soft peaks,' the recipe had said. No peaks, just a runny mess.

Where's Martha Stewart when you need her? She muttered to herself. Hang on, hang on she grinned at her own inventiveness. She pulled out a can of whipped cream from the fridge and started spraying it into the set custard. Sorted. She raced through to the bathroom toothbrush in one hand, her Black Nirvana perfume in the other. You got this in hand Everdeen, all is well she reassured herself in the mirror. She had managed to talk Jo out of applying her makeup by letting her curl her hair instead. The last thing Peeta would want to see surely was her face trowelled on with makeup like Glimmer or (dare she say it) Cashmere?!

Her buzzer rang in a volume that seemed louder than usual or was it her nerves jangling?! She ran over and hit the button.

"Come on up," she called trying to sound casual but epically failing.

 1-2-3-4-5, she counted inwardly while standing by the door waiting to let him in. 6-7-8-9-10, oh god oh god it's Peeta, Peeta Mellark soon to be in my apartment, 11-12-13-14-15, on a fucking date.

16-17-18-19, Jesus Mellark how long does it take to walk up to my door?!

20 - a loud purposeful knock came from the other side of the door.

She opened the door a little cautiously. There he was all 5'11 of him, his hair styled lightly with gel so it was pushed away from his forehead. This just intensified his beautiful eyes even more. He wore a black fitted shirt, black jeans with a beige casual jacket over the top. She wasn't sure if Peeta hadn't actually moonlighted as an Abercrombie model in the past because he was certainly working it. She realised she'd just been staring at him when he politely coughed and smiled shyly.

"Oh, hi Peeta come in," she gestured with her hands a little awkwardly.

"Thanks," he grinned walking through. He seemed as on edge as her putting A hand in his pocket.

"Uh these are for you." He handed a paper wrapped small bouquet of golden orange sunflowers.

"They're beautiful, thank you. Take a seat I'll go put them in water. Dinner should be in ten minutes. Would you like some wine?“ she replied a little shrilly. Get to the kitchen Katniss, just get there and calm the fuck down. She scolded herself.

"Uh yeah wine would be good. Thanks. Can I give you a hand with anything?" He called as she sped off to the kitchen,

"No, no just relax," She hurriedly placed the sunflowers in the vase by the window. Grabbed the bottle of wine and two glasses. Before leaving she took two deep breaths and then went back through. She sat down next to Peeta on the sofa.

"You look beautiful by the way," he said softly his eyes never leaving hers. She grabbed the wine glass a little too hastily spilling a little on Peeta’s lap.

"Oh jeez I'm so sorry!" She grabbed a tissue from the table.

"Hey, hey it's ok, Katniss it's fine. Was just a little spill." He clasped her hand and gently rubbed her knuckles reassuringly.

"Besides it's not the first time you've spilled alcohol on me," he smirked taking a sip. She couldn't bring herself to take her hand away it felt so good.

"Oh god," she groaned, "that was so embarrassing," remembering her face slamming into his green Lycra clad private parts all those years ago. Peeta laughed.

"Without sounding like a total perv I didn't mind it at all." His flirtatious cheeky manner was in full swing and it was the sexiest feeling in the world to be on the receiving end of it.

"I'm glad someone enjoyed my shame," she laughed. His hand was still rubbing hers and god did it feel fucking good. He let go gently and took his jacket off. She missed the skin on skin contact immediately.

"So how was your day?" She asked. He was so good at putting her at ease in every situation.

"Not bad. Effie asked if-" Suddenly Peeta’s voice was drowned by the piercing wail of her fire alarm.

"Wha – oh, shit! The lasagne!”

Leaping out of her seat she ran to the kitchen. Smoke billowed out of the oven. Peeta appeared behind her his hand on her shoulder.

"Do you have a dish towel?" He called over the din. She grabbed one from the counter and handed to him. He immediately started wafting the smoke away from the alarm. Springing into action she switched the oven off, pulled open the oven door with the mitt and threw the lasagne in the sink with an almighty clatter. Tears welled up as she stared down at the burned lasagne clogging up her sink. She heard Peeta continue to waft his tea towel and the horrendous mocking sound of the alarm.

Suddenly silence. The smoke had dissipated somewhat but still clung around the kitchen.

"Well...." Peeta still had his hand mid-air clutching the dish towel. "That's a welcome I'll never forget!"

He looked at her and his mouth twitched in amusement. Whatever frustration and anger she had just been feeling drained and she burst into laughter with Peeta following suit. They howled with laughter and after a minute Peeta pulled her into an embrace, kissing the top of her head, before peeling with laughter once again.

"I think...." she breathed clutching her stomach with hilarity, "That this is god’s way of telling me not to cook anymore."

"You think?!" He joked rubbing her back.

The dinner was ruined, her pride a little dented but the incident had diffused the tension she was feeling and for that she was thankful. She could be herself not first date jitters-Katniss.

"You wanna order takeout? She said wiping tears of laughter from her cheeks. "I've got an idea that's way better than takeout. I'll cook for you." He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. There in the middle of a smoky, messy kitchen with her eyes streaming Peeta was caressing her face with both hands and kissing her. The kiss deepened and Katniss moaned, stepping back against the counter to steady herself. He lightly traced her bottom lip with his tongue before gently letting it caress her own. A few minutes passed before he gently pulled back still stroking her face and neck. His blue eyes a tad darker than their usual cerulean hue.

"If you cook the way the way you kiss then I'll be in for a taste sensation," she grinned rubbing her hands up his arms.

"Oh just you wait Everdeen," he pecked her on the lips again before making his way over to her fridge. "Hmm... ok yeah I can work with this," he murmured to himself.

"Go sit and relax, I should be ready in say about 20 minutes." He grabbed a carton of eggs, milk, butter and a packet of bacon.

"What no Peeta. I'm staying here to help you. Least I can do since I burnt your dinner."

"Nuh-uh. If you want your dinner you'll go sit. Go on... too many cooks and all that." He grinned, pulled her in for another embrace from behind and started playfully tickling her.

"Ok, ok, ok I give in," she laughed pulling him in for another kiss.

"Mmm, I could just stand here and do this all evening," he looked lustfully at her. "But I promised you dinner and cheese buns, so scoot. "

She laughed and left him to it. Sinking back onto the sofa she took a large gulp of wine and sighed. What a night. She was nervous as hell wondering how she was going to handle him being there and now there he was cooking her dinner and kissing her in an obscenely sexy way that made her want to clench her thighs together and head to her bedroom to recover. Peeta was special, there was no doubt about it and she felt so lucky that they had reconnected.

Ten minutes later, she heard some dishes clanging together. She kinda felt guilty about leaving him to it but he seemed determined. She switched on some music. The relaxing tones of Massive Attack's Unfinished Sympathy were welcome and soothing. Grabbing the wine bottle she poured herself another glass. She put her fingers up to her lips and thought about that kiss. God....

A loud knock at the front door reverberated through the room. What? Oh come on, who would be knocking at this time on a Friday? Maybe it was the Super coming to inspect the fire alarm. Oh joy. She opened to door quickly.

 1-2-3-4-5

"Hey, Katniss."

6-7-8-9-10

"Gale," she uttered.

Duh duh duuuuuuuh! He's back...evil cackle.. Be rest assured i'm no fan of Galeniss in any form lol but Katniss needs to confront and deal with her past once and for all.

For those who don't know, i am a primary teacher like Katniss and I also dislike my time teaching in nursery.  Her experiences were definitely drawn from my own. (Although sadly I didnt have Peeta waiting for me with cheese buns....such is life)

[brandynewgradstudent-blog]

Feelings about the whole Me Too thing

This turned into an essay.  Oops.

On the one hand, solidarity is great.  The sexual assault rates for women are terrifyingly high, and while I’m not aware of statistics on how many women have been sexually harassed, I’m going to go ahead and bet it’s near 100%. We deserve to know we’re not alone.  There is healing in unity, and we deserve to recognize each other and offer that solidarity.

On the other: This isn’t being promoted as a way to support one another.  It’s being promoted as raising awareness to convince men that this is a real and serious problem, presumably so men (particularly men in positions of power) will do something about it.

And I just don’t believe that will happen.  Frankly, we’ve done this before.  We’ve shown how common this is, via our anectodes, via surveys and studies and statistics, via whatever methods we can possibly think of.  In spite of that, men regularly tell me that catcalls are compliments.  That tells me that your average dude would rather live in a fantasy world where he’s comfortable than accept a reality where he might be challenged to change his own behavior.  And if the average man can’t be bothered, just think how much more strongly the powerful people benefiting from the status quo will resist change.

If we’re going to ask victims of sexual assault and sexual harassment to stand up and share their stories, I want it to be done in such a way that the work they’re putting in will have a decent chance at achieving its goals.  For instance, let’s talk networking among women--how can we minimize risk to people who step up and let others know who to avoid? How can we spread this information widely, so people outside a handful of individuals’ networks can access the information?  Can we share scripts for getting out of bad situations in professional environments without completely sacrificing our careers?  What can we do to recognize bad situations in other environments, how can we help each other in those cases?  What can we do to support one another through both the trauma of big attacks, and the simple wear and tear of plain old everyday harassment?  

But I don’t think ‘inspire men to change’ is a realistic goal.  I’ll believe men are capable of that when I see it.  Men, if you want to do that, learn to recognize rape culture.  When you talk to a woman, when you talk about a woman, when your friends and family members and coworkers talk to or about a woman--learn to hear those remarks in the most paranoid possible interpretation.  Could it possibly suggest treating her as a thing rather than a person?  Could it possibly be read as dismissing her attempts to say no, verbal or otherwise?  If it could...you need to step up and push back.  Yes, even if it was just a joke, even if you know they didn’t really mean it that way, even if your friends will criticize you or stop hanging out with you over your new attitude.  You’re in less danger here than we are.  

Until I see all of you doing this, all the time, I’m sticking to “yes all men”--because all of you, even those of you who would never consider assaulting or harassing a woman, benefit from the consideration and deference we give you out of fear of the men who will do those things.  

In case you’re not convinced, here’s my latest MeToo moment:

I was walking home from class a couple weeks ago.  A guy catcalled me.  I hate that, but it’s normal around here--I ignored him and kept walking.  Six blocks later, in a relatively deserted area, he turned up right next to me and started talking to me in a way I couldn’t reasonably pretend not to hear.  He told me he’d following me, and that he’d come this way just to try and talk to me.  

He asked what my name was.  He asked if I went to the school, told me he was a student too.  He asked if I had a boyfriend.  He asked if I wanted to get lunch.  Now, these questions would be fine if we’d met at a social event on campus--but he had just followed me for six blocks.  

He scared me.  I didn’t know if he’d waited to talk to me until we were in an isolated area on purpose, or if it was just coincidence.  I didn’t know if he’d accept me turning him down, or if he’d get angry.  If he got angry, I didn’t know if he’d just yell and call me a bitch, or if he’d take it further.  I did know that he was the kind of guy who would follow me for several blocks out of his way, and that’s not a good sign.

I pasted a polite expression on my face and let him talk until I saw a couple other people nearby.  Then I told him I had a boyfriend (I don’t), declined lunch, and he wandered off without any fuss.  In hindsight, knowing how it turned out, I really don’t think he meant any harm.  I bet he thought it could be a rom-com meet-cute, “She was so pretty she caught my eye on a busy street, it took me ages to work up the courage to talk to her!” kind of thing.  He was probably just a normal guy thinking he was maybe? overstepping a bit? but probably in a cute way right? and definitely not THAT big a deal.

The thing is, though, he put me in a position where I had to seriously consider that he might hurt me.  I didn’t get to react the way I wanted to; I had to suppress myself.  I had to react in a calculated way to make myself as safe as possible--which meant putting on an interested expression while hearing him out, turning him down in a way that suggested “aw I’d love to but I’m already claimed sorry!” rather than “ew no way”, and not calling him on his bad behavior.  He got much better treatment than his behavior deserved, because in that moment, he was Schrodinger’s Rapist and I didn’t feel like I had a choice.

He also did harm, even though I doubt he intended to.  He scared me.  He cost me probably an extra hour out of my day, as I didn’t want to risk him maybe following me home and therefore went several blocks further than I needed to and stopped in a store for a while to minimize the risk.  He made me feel unsafe in my neighborhood (where I’d recently moved), as I worried about potentially running into him again, and as I worried about whether this was considered ok in my new community and whether other men (possibly with worse intentions) might also try it.  I doubt he realizes he did all this--after all, he backed off the moment I told him no!  But he did it anyways.  

Guys, can you honestly say you’ve never done anything like this?  Something you thought was innocuous, but in retrospect could have caused a woman fear or harm?  I’m betting a lot more of you are the perpetrator of someone’s MeToo than you think.  

[writersblock51]

Why this introverted geek became an activist

In retrospect, I think I’ve been a closet activist for much of my life.  I grew up with pretty liberal parents, went to a “hippie” Open School for 3 years when I was young, was aware of political discourse from my earliest Sunday dinners at my grandparents’ home, camped throughout the east coast my whole life, mostly in tents, garden and compost, vote in every election... But always quietly.  Without fuss. Just go about those without calling any attention to it or the whys and wherefores.  My bubble was rather small. Over the years, I’ve gone from a successful tech career that brought me, uncomfortably so, into corporate America before I switched careers to one that has taken me, literally, back down to earth (master gardener and garden consultant).  In the process of this transition, I guess I have become an environmentalist.  Even a conservationist of sorts.  My love of the outdoors and the appreciation for clean air, water and soil has grown.  Then Donald Trump started picking off the competition for the Republican nomination, no matter what he said or did that horrified me.  Surely, I though, he will not win in November. 

Yet...

Here we are.  Nearly 100 days into what can at best be described as a nightmare of rollbacks to darker times and a terrifying risk of the future. Trump and his administration have the full blessing of the GOP so who will help prevent the final worse from happening? I know that I was among millions of stunned and scared people when the morning of November 9th rolled around. Other than venting with my like-minded family and a few friends, I felt like we were alone.  We are blue dots in a red neighborhood, in a red town, in a red county in a blue state.  So - now what? On the afternoon of November 9th, a childhood friend reached out to me and asked that I come to the Women’s March in DC with her.  There was a rumor going around on social media about a rally to take place the day after the inauguration.  She had booked 2 suites at a hotel in northern Virginia and was going to fill them with friends who would march. I said yes.  In the weeks and months ahead, the plans crystallized into action.  There was so much action that by the time the march took place, I had downloaded the Indivisible guide (https://www.indivisibleguide.com/) and found a few closed groups on Facebook that were focused on resisting the new administration and GOP’s plans WHILE looking to support Democrats on various levels of government. The Women’s March was my first ever protest/march/rally that I attended on purpose.* *When I was in high school, some of my friends and I got caught up in an protest outside of the UN without knowing that we were doing.  Incidentally, one of the friends I was with for that is the same one I went to the Women’s March with.  Foreshadowing??

Anyway....

The Women’s March was bigger than I knew at the time.  Being in the midst of it was an amazing and galvanizing experience.  But it wasn’t until we had wi-fi later that afternoon that our little group found out just how big and expansive the March shaped up to be.  All 7 continents. “Even Antarctica” was said with a dropped jaw.  Millions of people had marched, in big and small rallies.  WOW doesn’t begin to describe it. Were we awake now? Finally?  Again, though, come that Monday... Now what? I found more blue dots in my red town.  Some I knew well already but we had rarely talked politics (polite people that we are...) so we cautiously created a a very local Resistance Facebook page.  Better, we were all finding, to vent and share info in that safe place than to alienate friends and family on our personal Facebook pages... Though, I was “unfriended” by at least a dozen people after the election including 2 cousins.  I didn’t unfriend anyone but I did “ignore” quite a few.  We local blue dots found out that our town had a Democratic Committee.  Which was also in hiding.  By the way, it’s hard to recruit people to your cause when you hide...

Clearly, it was time to come out of the shadows.  If all of the people filled with hate felt emboldened to yell insults, close borders and terrorize people, we needed to stop hiding. So I joined the local Democratic committee and lobbied for the group to have a public as well as a private face.  I now help run the public face’s social media.  I’ve joined multiple area Indivisible groups and help on various environmental work groups to research current regulations and proposed/pending legislation as well as to help craft data for Democrats running for office in our area/county/state.  I have & will continue to rally in front of the offices of my Congressman (a conservation Republican) and 2 US Senators (both Democrats).  I’ve attended a town hall that my Congressman held.  I design postcards for post-card parties.  I make daily calls to my members of Congress (who are now in my cell phone directory).  I recommend 5 Calls - https://5calls.org/ Other than running for office myself, I feel called to do any number of jobs to both resist, more forward by helping others run.  And I’m not alone.  At each event that I’ve been to, I have been with at least one friend, and we have met wonderful and equally engaged people.  The bubble I’m now in is colorful, experienced, full of ideas and different perspectives, and, most of all, determined to affect changes.  My family is supportive of my efforts, none of which I get paid for.  Just this past weekend, we went as a family to the March for Science in NYC.  It was soggy but fun!

Still, I’m met with some questions... When one slightly bewildered friend asked me why I was “doing all of this,” I had to pause.  I had so many reasons, really.  Too many to list on a 100 protest signs if I thought long and hard about it.  For sanity and logistics sake, I stick to a few causes that I know I can do the most good with right now. But to my friend, I finally answered, completely truthfully and rather surprising to my own ears, “I feel called to raise my voice & use my talents to help.”

I don’t have much money to just donate and let that be it.  My financial donations are specific (Planned Parenthood - national and for my state, the ALCU, Doctors without Borders, a few recent Democrats running for open House and Senate seats). 

What I have is: a computer with affordable internet access (for now!),  as well as experience in computers, internet security, various environmental aspects, childcare, women’s health, pay inequality, foster card, adoption, infertility, healthcare, publicity/marketing, graphic design and residential lending.  I am a white woman born to and still in a middle class society, all because of the ovarian lottery.  As such, I am in a position to be an ally to others as well. I fully intend to do what I can, when and where I can - even if my natural impulse is still to stay in the safety of my small bubble and behind my computer screen, not rocking any boats.

The bottom line is that it has taken the recent election of the most unqualified person to be our President to get me to raise my voice, to march & rally, and to rock some boats.  And if I, a lifelong introvert, bookworm, geek and better-with-plants-than-people can do it, so can many others who are unsure of what their “What now? may look like to them.