#anyway yes a little scene in chapter 9 makes sense for her but that's all I'll concede to for now!
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I'm probably the only one who braves enough to come to the surface and ask this in public, but I have to. For the sake of my fellow Prihine-romancers.
"More Prihine content, when?"
Idk man, she's dead in a lot of people's playthroughs so it's not like I can really engineer a ton of more content for her!! 😭
#Shepherds of Haven#she'll make an appearance in chapter 9 though!#*grumbling begrudgingly*#I never planned for her to have such a big part in the story at all to be honest lol!#but I didn't expect Caine or Chandry to either...#this is how scope creep happens haha!!#anyway yes a little scene in chapter 9 makes sense for her but that's all I'll concede to for now!#Prihine#Prihine Naveen
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ok so I don’t believe Aiden is dead. there’s a lot of reasoning behind why I think this, but it’s very vauge because all my theories lead down two separate paths.
SBG CHAPTER 60 SPOILERS AHEAD
idk if y’all noticed the computer like affect around this scene but it only happens three times. All of which are in Ashlyn’s perspective of the incident.
in the second photo, the computer like fliter only appears on ashylns face, the view of Aiden is mostly clear.
I have a lot of questions, and I haven’t picked a theory/explaintion for sure yet, but one of my ideas are that it’s Ashlyn’s fear completely taking over here. We already knew from the beginning of sbg that ashyln often doubts what she sees, as if she doesn’t trust her eyes to tell the truth. we’ve seen her make up excuses and fake scenarios to cope with her reality and things she’s doesn’t understand. This is not her fault though, as we’ve seen it links back to her childhood.
She can often times be pessimistic about situations, always readying for the worst situation to happen as if it’s the only way things could go down. This also relates to her childhood.
Given these two facts, as well as the disorienting fliter over Aiden’s body and her facial expressions, i think it’s safe to assume that Aiden’s injuries are not as life threatening as they appear to be. Yes, I know a ceiling fell on him, I’m not saying he’s not badly injuried. But I don’t think it will provoke a reaction in his real-world body as it did for Tyler, or at least not one as serious.
this side of his face is almost completely fine, minus a few bruises (given some are from the car crash). although, since it’s a head injury, it only takes one side of his head to be damaged for it to be life threatening. But the biggest impact is to his jaw/cheek, not necessarily his skull.
also, the computer-like fliter goes away as soon as another person is thrown into the equation. The streaks return to their normal color of white, and the werid glitch affect on them disappear.
see how the streaks start glitching as soon as ashlyn notices Aiden’s in deathly trouble? Almost as if it’s not real/something is off. We’ve never seen these glitches before (trust me I pay attention to these things).
anyways back to the image before this where Taylor grabs Aiden. The fliter is gone, and ashlyn snaps back into reality with the help of Taylor and her instructions. Taylor’s reaction is to immediately get Aiden under something safe. This part gets a little messy since we don’t have any scenes after this to show which explaintion makes more sense but wtv. Either Taylor is full of adrenaline and is in full protection mode, which is why she doesn’t hesitate to drag Aiden to safety, or she’s aware that his injuries aren’t as bad as Tyler’s / they’re not life threatening. A blow to the face will 9/10 knock you unconscious, regardless of how powerful the hit was. Taylor may have assumed that’s what had happened to Aiden, and she didn’t have time to second guess herself. She is done letting things harm her brother and friends. Anyways, her stepping into action grounds ashlyn and pulls her back to reality.
Also, this scene looks familiar doesn’t it? In the second image, the group was unable to control their emotions and were acting on pure adrenaline and feeling. Ashlyn is obviously experiencing a strong mix of fear, stress, and past trauma. If these two images are comparable, ashlyn mentally assuming/seeing the worst of the situation is not unusual.
Basically, I feel this event is exaggerated because ashyln is trying to cope with the situation. Understand that she is blaming herself for everything right now. Tyler flew out of the car just yesterday. She found him on tree just a few hours ago. She was the one who sedated him. She pulled him off the tree. She saw everything first hand, she felt the most guilty/responsible. Ashlyn has always been the one emphasizing how dangerous their situation is, but to finally see it happen right before your eyes is traumatic.
Aiden has been her main source of comfort since day 1, ashlyn has a soft spot for Aiden. He is her rock of support. So, after seeing Tyler’s ‘death’ and the affect it had on him irl, it’s not crazy to believe she is exaggerating watching Aiden ‘die’. It also makes sense because she’s watching it happen right before her eyes, while she only saw the aftermath of Tyler’s ‘death’. Ashlyn convinced herself Aiden died because she’s not in the right headspace / not mature enough to process it properly. None of them are.
I know a lot of people are speculating that the glitching effect + fliter is them shifting back into their reality since ashlyn said they only had 3 mins left, but I disagree. Lmk if that explaintion would intrest you lot.
again this is all just speculation that is quite underdeveloped. I just wanted to share it before I lost my train of thought. thank u for reading 😋
#as always feel free to ask me questions/add onto this#also exaggerating isn’t the right word but idk what else to put#sbg#school bus graveyard webtoon#school bus graveyard#schoolbus graveyard#sbg (webtoon)#sbg theories#schoolbus graveyard aiden#sbg aiden#phantom world sbg#sbg ashlyn#ashlyn banner#aiden clark#theories
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Finallyyyyy, chapter 7. I was dying waiting for it and now I'm already dying waiting for the next so I guess this week will be filled with rereading and rereading the whole fic until chapter 8 comes. Anyways here we go, thoughts on this one:
-Drew. Oh boy. I'm assuming we won't see him in chapter 8 since it'll probably be composed mostly of the day at the bar. The morning, then the bar itself, who ends up in whose bed; and you'll most likely add a lil flashback to something somehow relevant since you've done that for every chapter except 4. But so reunion in chapter 9? or 10? I don't know but I wanna see him reunite with Azzi and meet Stephie. Apparently he was irritated at Paige's decision to go to the GSV, the Drew from 6 years ago probably would've loved and encouraged the idea, if he hadn't come up with it himself. I feel like the fact it irritated him instead shows he's learnt to live without Azzi and the Fudds now, but like Paige wonders if he has, might've still not fully forgiven her and Azzi for taking that away from him. As in, I think it took him a lot of time to adapt and if he's angry at Azzi, it's really only cause he spent so much time missing her, if that makes sense. So if/when we get their reunion scene, I'm expecting him to first be angry, maybe throwing certain questions at Azzi before breaking down. I wonder if Stephie knows who Drew is? That picture is on the stairwell clearly, but maybe she's never really noticed him. If not, I'm really excited to see her reaction to a boy she has no clue about, hugging and possibly crying in the arms of the woman who's probably a sort of sister/mother to him, her mother. Basically, I really want some Drew, Paige and Azzi scenes and Stephie's reaction to the dynamic of the 3; and some Drew and Stephie scenes.
-"But she doesn’t quite know this place, couldn’t tell you where to find the sugar or where the utensils were kept" this was just written beautifully in my opinion idk, just wanted to show some appreciation for it.
-"“They’ve all missed you, you know,” Tallulah says softly, “they try not to do it too much around Azzi but it’s always ‘oh Paige would’ve loved this’ or ‘did you catch that bucket Paige made last night’." They try not to do it too much around Azzi. I just wanted to add this because I think it sorta confirms my suspicions that they might however do it around Stephie. The first time I sent in some of my thoughts on this fic I mentioned how I don't think it's a coincidence Paige and Stephie share so much in common. Though I did say it's Azzi probably passing Paige-like things onto her daughter, I think Stephie's simply grown up in environments that scream "Paige". I think it's beautiful how much her and Azzi have affected everyone around them, not just eachother. But it's also scary because it is about the 2 of them at the end of the day and if they start living separate lives they take away a person important in others' lives too, as we see with Drew, or the Fudds like Tallulah pointed out. I just hope Stephie doesn't have to lose Paige, I know we're guaranteed a happy ending (or maybe that's what you want us to think) but I hope there's never even a small period of time where Stephie thinks she's lost Miss Buecks.
-"“you’re thinking about her mother huh?”" "“your daughter has you wrapped around her little finger huh?”" I'm just a bit shocked that Ruthie guessed she was thinking about the girl's mother, not father. I feel like people's first assumption is that you're straight, the majority of the world is, does Ruthie know Azzi and Stephie? Or does she know Paige? Was just wondering, I don't know, maybe her gaydar's just on point.
-"“No,” Azzi says at the same time as a profound “yes” leaves Paige’s mouth." Ok so nvm my past predictions Paige is still pulling and Azzi is still slightly pushing.
-"Olivia’s livid at Paige and Paige is livid at the stupid #Clézzi tag on tiktok." If they ended up breaking up but confirmed they were a thing you bet your ass you could never get me to use some other ship's #. "until suddenly she stumbles on a video captioned 'and at the end of the day she’ll still always be looking at her'." that's my video, future me posted that.
-"And she knows that if it was Azzi -she hates herself for even thinking this way- she wouldn’t walk away." it's giving me the same vibes as when she was telling Azzi how whilst on her date she kept thinking how Azzi wouldn't order what the girl ordered off the menu, how she would swat her hand away when she tried stealing something from her plate and end up giving it to her anyways, how they'd get yelled at at the movies for giggling too much, and how at the end she would've kissed her. Unfortunately for everyone else, I just think no one stands a chance, she's wrapped around Azzi's finger.
-"even if they were barely a shadow of what they used to be, it's only right that Azzi is still here." but it surprises me that on every flashback after their breakup they still seemed on completely good terms all these years, like why did they break up??? Just cause Azzi wasn't ready for marriage? I feel like something else happened in between but maybe not.
-"“we’re gonna do it together next time okay. You and me, we’re gonna be golden together.”" soo 2032 Olympics? Did they do it??? A year ago from the "present day" I feel like you plan on showing us a flashback in a future chapter but I'm dying to know!!!
Okk that's it thank you for blessing us with another amazing chapter as always and see how quick I was this time? -🪐
Please don't die friend I'd miss you :)
-Drew appearance soon but I'm not fully sure exactly when because idk if y'all have caught onto this yet, but I actually don't outline the whole story beyond just the beginning - middle - end, everything else is just ideas that I fit in when it feels right. The Drew from 6 years ago was a little boy who still held onto hope for his favorite love story. But with time, hope turned into irritation and missing Azzi turned into being angry at Azzi because sometimes that's the only way to deal with the hate. I'm very excited to write both Azzi-Drew and ofc Stephie-Drew.
-I remember that ask! Paige is so entwined into the Fudd's and Azzi's life that even 8 years later, you can still see the remnants of her in their life and that's what Stephie has grown up seeing so really it's not surprising that some of that imprinted onto her as she has a little bit of Paige in her.
-See this is my lovely fantasy world where straight isn't just the normal and I have no other explanation for it. Ruthie does not know Stephie or Azzi lol. I'd like to think 2033 we can avoid straight as the default lol
-I'm never shipping them with other people but as evidenced by some tweets in the last few days, I think other people absolute would ship clézzi lmao but pazzi truthers are still alive in 2033 despite the break up lol
-Unfortunately for everyone else, I just think no one stands a chance, she's wrapped around Azzi's finger. - yep exactly!
-I do love my flashbacks!
I'm very proud of you for how quick you were lmao!
#ask#fic talk#🪐 anon my dearest <3#i live for when y'all pyschoanalyze the fic a little bit like it makes me very happy
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ok im making you all look at this, this is my essay on all the scenes with Ichimatsu in them from takopa, my explanations of why he does them and what they mean UNDER THE FILTER that Mao exists and this takes place simultaneously during my fic
SO I deffo think that takopa takes place, like, on the day it was released, like the evening they have the party is friday july 21st 2023, SO that would mean it takes place between chapters 9/10 and 11, 9 and 10 being the 'ichi stands mao up' and 'mao is hungover' ones that take place mid july, so im thinking 9/10 probably take place around the 17/18th maybe.... SO at the time of the takopa, Ichi and Mao's relationship is that they are finally officially friends, they know about each others neet/hikikomori status, but arent,,, like super close ... its before the festival chapter, so if that makes any sense
the first and second images dont have anything to do with Mao, i just think it's cute that hes just basking in the sun like a kitty cat. the second one however, i think ichi stay home 1 bc hes a homebody but 2 bc he spent all his allowance and cant go see mao at the cafe
ok this is a big one, very loaded. see, his brothers outright ignoring him and not telling him whats going on? well that puts a downright bad and spiteful taste in his mouth, so he's already not going into it with the best attitude
and HERE!! RIGHT here is when ichimatsu decides to fall right back into his position in the family dynamic as the quiet one who follows along with the others, the one who takes the backseat approach to the dynamic. if his brothers are doing something, hes always just going to follow along to an extent to keep the status quo
ok so, ichi, like a cat, reserved to the idea of new ppl being in the house (nyaa and baby), as well as spiteful about the situation as a whole... he goes along with the brothers in the 'pining for totoko' thing because thats just... what they do, theyve been doing it since they were kids, so even if he were to realistically kinda back off from it, there would be questions, so hes just... hes just keeping in line, in his place... BUT HES NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!
after the bit with the takoyaki turning and ichi finally having fun, he realizes he CAN let loose a little and try to have a good time, sooooo now hes gonna be a little shit and mess with his brothers' chances at getting with totoko bc he can
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT .... ok ... so ichi is there and visibly nervous... nyaa opens the conversation about cats, to which he relaxes... he relaxes yes cause cats, but also nyaa... pink hair... pink hair and cats to him is mao ... its a bit easier to talk to nyaa in the context that he's just kinda thinking about mao.... nod nod nod nod
OK ALL OF THIS IS SO GHREDFLSGFLGBSL OKAY listen... Ichimatsu isn't with mao, but he's pining so hard and hes constantly thinking of the ways that he can incrimentally make homself better so he can be a guy they might be into... so he also, for some reason, thinks mao has experience/isnt a virgin, SO he thinks that he needs to step it up. If he were to get the chance to get an indirect kiss/finally pop his cherry, well, in his eyes he thinks he might be a better guy for mao, he won't be utterly pathetic. IN ADDITION, he picks nyaa because, lets face it, were he to actually gotten the opportunity to sleep with her, he'd be thinking of mao the whole time cause pink and cats... probably say their name too if im being toooootttallly honest... so yeah... he would want to do this to be able to not be such a loser for mao... even if he kinda does have that desire to have them be his first... but his desire to be more desirable to them outweighs his personal wishes if that makes sense....
anyway thats it, thats my post, maoichi real bc i said so
#takoyaki party spoilers#yes im dilullu#yes im normal and stable#we are not the same#anyway i love maoichi#they are so real to me and they were in takopa bc i said so....#ragh#RAAAGGGHHHH IM AMAZING#spice.ososan#maoichi#spice.txt
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I loveee your Derek fic! IK you said you’ve been kind of stumped lately and I have a suggestion if you don’t mind. Maybe add more to the reader to give her character more personality? Like make her a recovered addict so her and Derek can relate/bond more? Just a suggestion!
I'm so sorry for the wait on ch. 7!!!
I have been writing, just... it's currently a one thousand word incomprehensible blurb of feelings & thoughts, broken up by a few lines of dialogue here and there.
I don't know what to tell you guys as to WHY it's taking so long... other than I just haven't felt right.
Usually when I'm writing, I can see the scenes play out in my head like a movie, and it's just a matter of describing what I see. Like I'm fucking hallucinating.
Sometimes writing is super easy, because I've been replaying the same scene over and over in my head for days and I already intimately know how every little detail should play out.
Sometimes I have to do a little bit of prompting to get the scene to come together. (writing the little blurbs about how each character is feeling usually helps)
But recently, even that did not save me and I just could not see the story. I know that probably makes no fucking sense, but hey, the creative process is different for everyone and I don't think I'm going to be able to describe this abstract process using concrete words.
Basically the vibes have been off. Usually it only takes a few hundred word chapter outline to get me going, but this one took a thousand words before I could finally see the story.
But yes. I finally see the story. And I'm honestly probably going to wait and outline the next few chapters as well before I start actually writing, it'll just make it easier for me in the long run.
So yeah, gonna be a couple days on chapter 7... but when it does finally come out the wait for chapters 8, 9, and 10 shouldn't take too long. And I already know exactly how I want the epilogue to go... (it might even be two parts)
To anon:
I like your suggestion about making the reader a recovering addict as well, and I actually thought about doing that when I was first writing this. The problem is, I'm just not confident enough in my ability to write a character that's gone through that kind of a struggle in a realistic & respectful manner, seeing as I've never gone through that myself.
(I'm doing my best with Derek already, and I'm still not satisfied with how easy it's been for him. I feel like he should be more anguished 😭)
Anyway, it's also a little late in the story to suddenly reveal that she's been though the same thing he has. I mean, the story is partly told from her perspective, and i feel like she would have thought about it before, even if she never revealed it to Derek.
It's an interesting thought, though, and thank you all for being so paitent!
P.S
I'm at 197 followers, so submit some deranged jhutch smut requests for a 200 follower special. (I'll write just about anything other than non-con, underage, pissplay, that sort of thing.)
I'll pick one and write a short one-off AFTER chapter 7 of SISOTSIAICEHAS. (Wow, even the acronym is terrible.)
And to the person that requested the Clapton Davis fic... it's in my drafts. It will see the light of day eventually. Sorry.
#josh hutcherson#jhutch#derek danforth#mike schmidt#josh hutcherson x reader#the beekeeper#fnaf movie#derek danforth x reader#mikeschmidt#josh hutcherson x you
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Thank you for the tag @espressoristretto-patronum
1. How many work do you have on AO3?
Two but they're basically different parts of the same long fic.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
79,783 and counting baby! I have so many unposted chapters lol
3. What fandom do you write for? Hogwarts Legacy. I fixate for a long time and I have so many plans so I'm not going anywhere.
4. Top five fics by kudos?
Well, I only have two but Beating Some Sense Into You has 29 and Making Some Sense of This has 6. I'm honestly kinda sad about that… it feels like no one is reading anymore sometimes. I know I joined the fandom late though so it's okay.
5. Do you respond to comment?
Yes. If I take longer than a couple days, I probably hit a little depressed patch or health issue so don't think you did anything wrong.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I'm just going to leave the tags for Making Some Sense of This here…
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Well… I haven't written one with a happy ending yet but my plan for part 3 of the series is pretty happy and so is the plan for the modern au I'm considering writing either between parts 2 and 3 or after 3.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No but I do for my Etsy strangely
9. Do you write smut?
No, never. I'll do fade to black moments if relationships escalate to physical intimacy but I'm ace and also uncomfortable writing smut at this time.
10. Craziest crossover?
Haven't done any.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No, I don't know who would want to steal this anyway.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No but I think that would be cool. If anyone wanted to do that, I'd prefer they reach out to me about it though.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but my sister and I bounce ideas off each other all the time. I was helping with world building/story planning for her fics before a certain POS(fuck Wilbur Soot) burned her fandom down so now she can't finish either fic. She also helps beta for me and write combat scenes since I'm bad at that.
14. All time favourite ship?
How dare you ask me that (/joking)
Seriously, I could never pick.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
My original book. I'm kinda afraid no one will read it so for now, Caira stays living in my head. Here's an old drawing of her.
16. What are you writing strenghts?
I'm weird about grammar so the way it's posted is pretty close to what I originally typed. I don't take much editing to have decent grammar.
17. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I think it's cool but the only language other than English I've ever studied was Chinese and I don't speak much of it. Basically, I don't know enough of a second language to include it.
18. First fandom you wrote in?
Hogwarts legacy.
19. Favourite fic you've written?
I mean, the two I have are parts 1 and 2 of the same series so… both?
@ladyofsappho, I tag you! (If you haven't already that is)
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More Clarity [sorta] deleted scenes!
These aren't exactly deleted scenes. It's just that, after writing them, they were moved, so I had to edit them for continuity. Spoilers for all the chapters mentioned.
Connie's Visit: Chapter 8 to Chapter 9
I originally had Connie visiting the tea shop before the royal ball. Because that chapter ended up being super long, I moved the scene to the beginning of the next chapter (after the ball). The scene remained almost identical, the main difference is Lucy's piece of conversation. (small letters are non-deleted/changes parts)
“No, those are puffed sleeves. I'm talking butterfly sleeves, they just sort of... flare out.” Monday afternoons were always slow at the Tea House. That’s how Levi found himself as the much unamused recipient of Lucy’s detailed description of the dress she’d be wearing to the Royal Ball.
“Name makes no sense, why butterfly? Butterflies don’t wear sleeves.” He was sitting on one of the barstools, as though he was a patron. The number four tea he was drinking was the one thing allowing him to put up with the inane chat.
“Who cares, it’s just a name.”
“A stupid name.”
Lucy rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I haven’t got any pink shoes, obviously, so I’m wearing the white ones from my brother’s wedding. They’re pretty flat, so I won’t be towering over you.”
Levi snorted. “Like I give a fuck about that.”
“The good thing is, being white, they’ll match with the Hizuru hairpin,” she concluded, very satisfied with herself.
The door opened.
“Captain!”
There was only one person that still greeted him by his former title, despite his insistance not to. Levi turned around at once, as glad for the visit as for the chance to stop listening to fashion talk.
“Connie! You finally deigned to drop by!”
They patted each other on the back.
“Hello, you! Lucy, right?”
Girl talk: Chapter 12 to Chapter 11
Unlike the previous scene, this one got pulled forward, instead of pushed back. There were length issues too but, more imprtantly, it worked better. The original placing had Mikasa and historia talking after the main events of chapter 12, and Historia knowing about those made it much more difficult to give Mikasa the benefit of the doubt regarding her feelings for Levi - and his for hers.
“I can’t believe it’s been over a month since we last had lunch together,” Historia bemoaned, picking out the thyme twigs off her leek soup. Mikasa argued that the two weeks they’d spent in Hizuru they’d had at least half of their meals together, but the queen said that didn’t count. “There were always too many people around.”
Mikasa couldn’t argue with that.
After leaving the hospital, she’d spent a quiet two days of rest at home. She’d gone for lunch at Jean’s on the weekend, and she actually had a very pleasant time with Lena helping her organise the New Year’s party. The children had been pretty tame. Emma and Marco were very focused working on a “secret project”, which made Alex feel excluded, and so he’d push them to let him into it, which caused a series of arguments and cries that caused Jean to have to go yell at them twice; both times, as the fight became audible from the living room, little Helen had appeared waddling before the adults, shaking her tiny head and hand as if saying “I’ve nothing to do with that,” which made the mothers cackle.
It had been a drag to return to work on . She was thankful for the many well wishes of her comrades, but after the respite of the last few days, going back to the protocols, and salutes, and discipline was like putting on a straightjacket. Hopefully a meal with her friend would help her lift her spirits and tackle the rest of the week more cheerfully.
“Imagine,” Historia continued. “We haven’t even talked about the ball. It feels like it was ages ago.” Mikasa tensed for a second. Her memories of that night were... mixed. “Did you have fun?”
“Yes,” she said, focusing on the first part of the evening. “The hall looked so beautiful, and the dinner was delicious. Those quails, the sauce... one of the best tasting dishes I ever had.” (...) They talked about the music and recounted the fun moments of the evening to each other through the first course.
When Mikasa scraped the salt flakes from her roast lamb shoulder and Historia asked about it, she explained her ordeal of the previous week and that the doctor had told her to reduce her salt intake, at last for a while. Historia chided her: she should have told her, she would have sent her private doctor, she would have told the cook to make blander food... Mikasa thanked her concern, assured her she was alright and that everyone in the Royal Guard and the hospital had taken good care of her.
“How did you do with Emma? Did you send her to Jean’s? You know you can always send her to me, right? We’ve plenty of extra rooms and Frieda’s nannies already know her...”
“Yeah, that was the plan, but, in the end... She stayed with Levi.”
“Whaat?” Historia’s jaw dropped in amusement and she stirred on her chair; her glee was evident, as clearly the concept of Levi babysitting was a novel, terribly fun thing. Presently, though, her grin turned to a little purse and her eyes narrowed. “How did that go?”
Mikasa merely raised her eyebrows, curving the pride and emotion she felt every time she thought about it. “Quite well, actually. And he left my flat spotless.” She took a bite and placed the cutlery diagonally on her plate, as she’d learnt to do to signal she’d finished.
Historia graced her witty comment with a side smile, but remained pensive as the seconds dragged on.
“What is it?” Mikasa asked.
Historia made a gesture to the footman to leave them alone, then hesitated for a moment before asking, calm yet calculated: “It’s him, is’t he?”
“Huh?”
“Your mystery crush?”
The flush on Mikasa’s cheeks answered for her. Historia sighed.
“What are you waiting for?” It was a plea, rather than a question.
“I...” Mikasa faltered. What was she waiting for? “It’s... ” What was it? Why hadn’t she said anything to him? What was stopping her? “I told you, he doesn’t see me that way,” (...)
“Keep lying to yourself.” Historia downed her wine.
“What if I’m right, though? What if he doesn’t want a relationship?” (...)
Mikasa hated to be running out of arguments. Or were they excuses? She couldn’t bring up Emma at this point. Historia had already voiced her thoughts on whether Minimin could accept the idea of having Levi as a stepfather. The word made her dizzy. Besides, she’d blown any chance to use her girl as excuse by telling he’d babysat her. Successfully. Maybe Historia was right. Maybe she should tell him. She had already regretted not telling him the previous week, when she thought she was dying. She’d wanted to tell him in the hospital, but they had an audience. That was another excuse though, wasn’t it? When she knew where he lived, what his number was, when she could perfectly arrange a meeting between just the two of them to talk things over.
“Maybe I’m just a coward.”
“No, you’re not...” Historia said meekly. “Sorry if I’ve been too harsh.” She rang the little bell to call the service. “Let’s have dessert and talk nice things, yes? Guess who’s coming to Jean’s New Years’ party?” she said, pointing both her index fingers to herself.
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For the BTS fic asks...questions 7, 9, 11, 12, 16, 17, 20 and 21 for Back Pocket 1 and 2! (I know it's a lot of questions, but it's my favorite fic and i couldn't narrow it down! If you don't want to answer them all I understand.)
Helloooo anon!
I am always so, so glad to receive asks about Back Pocket verse! I should make a post and bring it out of the archive so folks can reread or read for the first time. It got a little buried. (A lot buried.)
7. What inspired the idea for the plot?
The whole verse is based on this anime called Barakamon. In Barakamon, the main character is a calligrapher who gets booted to a remote island in Japan and has to learn to live with the locals. I love, love, love that anime. It's such a wonderful story.
9. Was there anything from canon that you pulled for this fic?
I guess my canon would involve Barakamon? But I pulled the fishing scene from it for Back Pocket. They don't quote poetry though. That's something I added.
11. Was there a scene that you hadn't originally planned to include? Why did you decide to fit it in?
Yes! The scene where they play Bitches Brew by Miles Davis. Or was it just the song Miles Runs the Voodoo Down. Anyway, that performance is a scene I hadn't meant to include--a reader suggested that I add a scene in between for better pacing. So I took their advice and added it. I fit it in because I agreed with their suggestion--the original fic needed another chapter to feel complete.
12. Was there a scene you wished you could have included? Why didn't it fit in?
I really wish I could have included more Cher in BP1 or 2. I wanted an actual scene with her, not just the memory of her. It didn't fit in because she kept pushing J2 to the back (idk if that makes sense). In any scene I pictured her in, it was less the J2 show and more the Cher show. I need to figure out how to do that in BP3.
16. What was the easiest scene to write?
The scene where Jared sits on the floor so that Jensen doesn't feel left out. :)
17. What was the hardest scene to write?
Their first sex scene in BP1. I didn't really know how I wanted to handle it. Would you say they had hate sex? Or they just suddenly realized omg I'm attracted to you? I wanted it to be a bit of both.
20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?
The ties it has to Barakamon. I highly recommend folks watch it so they can understand BP1 and BP2. <3
There were fun, anon! Thank you so much. I miss this verse and I enjoy talking about it to you!
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How to get Anya to trust you: The Importance of Aligning Thoughts and Action
The one thing I really appreciate about Ep. 20 is that line from Twilight:
“Because we can’t read minds, we must let go of all preconceptions.”
This speaks so much about BOTH Twilight and Anya. We all know and appreciate how nonjudgemental Twilight tries to be. But the thing is, Anya does have preconceptions.
Yes, she loves waku-waku, and she often gets into trouble because of her curiosity. But she doesn’t trust anyone until their behaviours align with their thoughts.
The manga/anime also shows us the two scenes where Anya runs away from Twilight and Yor in their first meetings when she senses danger.
The first one, of course, being Twilight thinking to himself how holding her hands means he can’t prepare for an enemy’s attack. I think she bears that in mind and seldom holds his hand - she’s often seen to be clinging to his legs after that when she feels insecure tho. She thinks spies and missions are waku-waku, and she knows Twilight is a huge liar, but she doesn’t think he’s cool until he reminds himself how he wants to make a better world for children, and that she knows he means what he says and he truly acts on it.
Anya also thinks assassins are waku-waku, and one can only imagine how soft Yor’s thoughts get when she sees Anya. Anya is very happy about that until she hears how Yor broke Yuri’s bones by just hugging him. Things only changed after Yor saved Anya from those kidnappers/gangsters outside the supermarket, when Anya hears Yor’s thought on how Yor wants to become a better mother and actually tries her best.
The same goes for Becky in ep 7/ch 9 too.
Anya must have met so many people who would think the nicest thoughts but do nothing to help her. She must have seen how the nicest thoughts could turn into evil stuffs in a slight second. Thoughts help you understand more about people, but they mean nothing if you don’t do anything about them. And is that why Anya is still not friends with Damian yet (not until the latest chapter tho)?
And Anya, so smol and scared, went from default run-for-cover mode in ep 1 to default run-for-haha mode in ep 12, and to run-towards-danger-to-rescue-chichi mode in ep 14.
PS. I don’t think wanting spies and assassins as parents mean anything other than waku-waku to Anya at first. Anya wants to Twilight to adopt her not only because he’s a spy, but to be honest, Twilight’s thoughts are just neutral but the owner of that orphanage is downright hostile. Being a spy is just a plus. Yor’s thoughts are probably peaceful and nice to read for Anya until she is triggered and goes into her murder fantasies. `but then Yor would stop herself from thinking any further anyway. It doesn’t occur to Anya that they have high-stakes jobs. She wouldn’t even understand what high-stakes means.
Wanting waku-waku doesn’t mean wanting to get into trouble. Do you remember how many times our parents have to tell us NOT TO PLAY WITH THE FAN, NOT TO JUMP ON THE BED, NOT TO PLAY WITH FIRE, and us thinking, but it doesn’t hurt if we try just a little? This is Anya isn’t it? I’ll go look for the doggie, just a little. I’ll just get into this secret passage, just a little. Just a little won’t hurt, she thinks. We were all Anya, we just don’t have spies and assassins as parents, and because they are hiding their identities, they would not have this lecture with Anya, not even: I have this and that here and do NOT ever mess with my spy/assassin stuffs because this and that could happen and you’ll never get to come home.
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what are your favorite heroines written by fitzgerald? and by thomas hardy? and by dickens? and by your other favorite authors? ♡
i cannot believe i’ve had this blog for 84 years and i've never done an official ranking of my girls! i limited myself to twenty characters (one per author), but if an author has more than one amazing heroine, i will be talking about all of them. so let’s start at the beginning, a very good place to start! 💗
1.) estella havisham. my forever girl, my number one heroine when it comes to serious literature, and the blueprint for all my bitchy rich girl faves - of which there are many on this list. but no one compares to estella! you might be a spoiled brat, but have you been bent and broken into a better shape?
2.) natasha rostova / kitty shcherbatsky. i think i would ultimately choose natasha if it ever came to that - she’s just a richer character, and one of the only major literary heroines who has a killer sense of humor - but kitty is my sweet pink marshmallow. it’s a very close call!
3.) cosette / eponine. again, i can’t choose. i think eponine is the more complex and sophisticated character, but cosette is so GOOD! she’s just loveable, which is a very hard quality to pin down. i love them both so much. 10/10 for each!
4.) eustacia vye, followed so closely by tess that the difference is infinitesimal. tess is the greater heroine (goodness made interesting - name a bigger challenge in literature!), but god, i fucking love eustacia. the chapter introducing her in return of the native is still the single best in-depth breakdown of a character’s personality that i have ever encountered in a novel.
5.) anne shirley, because she’s been with me my entire life and has taught me more about happiness than any other character i’ve ever come across. “the iron has entered into my soul, diana!”
6.) isabel archer. does she make poor decisions? yes. would she have been better off without the money? double yes! but the drama is what makes her shine. i know this book is dense, but read it anyway - because if you don’t, you’ll never meet isabel, and you will miss out on one of the richest experiences of your life. it’s not a light read, but it is my favorite read.
7.) emma bovary, my favorite mess. she’s mean and unrealistic and a little stupid, but that scene at the end where she just cracks open and all her anger comes spilling out is what makes her amazing. the french have a flair for tragedy (c'est dans le fucking titre in the case of les mis!), but nothing compares to the heartbreak of watching emma, who thinks that death will be like falling asleep, when she feels the arsenic start to work and realizes she was wrong: “oh! it is beginning!” it will not be an easy death. she is not an easy character. but mon dieu, i adore her!
8.) catherine barkley. brett ashley is hemingway’s best female character, but catherine is the one who has my heart. she’s incredibly romantic and feminine and starry-eyed (with the most beautiful hair in all of literature!), but what makes her great is that this dreamy quality is a deliberately willed reaction to intense trauma. she CHOOSES to love. she is proof that you can be a girly girl and still be made of iron and steel. she’s so smart and courageous, and i am forever obsessed with her!
9.) sibyl vane, the girl who died for believing in fairy tales.
10.) tatyana larina rounds out my top ten for leaving onegin on read after he left her on read. the russians have the best heroines. i will not budge on this!
11.) yvonne de galais. she’s a ten (or in fournier-speak: “the fairy, the princess, the dream of love itself!”), but she can’t hold on to her man. 💔
12.) emma woodhouse. i’m not a huge austen fan, but i feel like out of all the girls on this list, emma would “get” me the most and go out of her way to befriend me. we are, unfortunately, very much alike.
13.) beatrice. do you know how much i suffered over choosing just one shakespeare heroine? an impossible task, but a girl who loves to laugh as much as bea does deserves to be number one. (it’s why the très witty rosalind is a close second, followed by the more tragically-inclined ophelia.)
14.) rosemary hoyt. this was the hardest one. i ultimately went with rosemary because she has all the qualities of the quintessential fitzgerald girl (young, fun, glamorous, spoiled, beautiful), but she’s much more likeable than rosalind, gloria, daisy, or even my beloved jordan. also in the top three are eleanor savage, who would be number one if she had her own book (“here am i with the brains to do everything - too bright for most men, and yet i have to descend to their level!”), and cecilia brady, hollywood princess extraordinaire and the west coast equivalent of nick carraway.
15.) amy march, america’s least favorite sister - and my personal favorite. this country has no taste. no wonder amy left!
16.) linda radlett. a little awful, but terribly funny and, in a weird way, kind of admirable in her single-minded ~pursuit of love. my mom wanted to watch the lily james version, thinking it would be a nice downton-esque period drama, and i had to tell her v. bluntly that there is nothing nice about the pursuit of love and that i couldn’t watch it with her because i knew she would hate linda. some things are just too sick-making!
17.) miss holiday golightly, travelling!
18.) lucy honeychurch. aside from being a genuinely cool girl who rejects the second-worst man in all of literature (the ultimate worst being angel clare), she also has the greatest name in the canon, which guarantees her a position in my top twenty.
19.) marguerite gautier, just because she’s actually marie duplessis and my love for marie is boundless and obsessively documented.
20.) franny glass. there aren’t many girls who possess the crazy level of self-confidence required to order a glass of milk in a restaurant while wearing a glam raccoon coat, but franny is one of the few. i related to her an embarrassing amount when i was a teenager, and while the association has faded, she remains my favorite glass sibling to this day.
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I was wondering...I was always confused about Narcissa’s hair. It’s been a while since I read the books. Did she color it blonde to show her now belonging to House Malfoys. Or was it naturally blonde? Movies confused me a bit I guess.
Yes, this had me confused too! I've agonized and toiled over it, more than I probably should, about how I should draw her hair because people have generally different views, which is totally understandable! 💕
And I've always wanted to discuss it, so now that I've been given a reason to... Well.
If you take a look at some of my Narcissa fanart, you'll notice the different ways I'd color her hair. I was so confused. Is she a light blonde? Dark blonde? A mix of raven hair and blonde hair? If she has blonde hair then why does her family have (mostly) dark hair? And WHY does she have blue eyes?! This woman is absolutely confusing! (Which is kind of, you know, fitting because Narcissa always loves to be a mystery to literally anyone lol)
So I did my homework, asked around, and scoured every bit of information, canon or otherwise, that I could find about her. It led me to this:
In canon, this is what the Black sisters look like. You can find the page here. Narcissa is a child here, and already has blonde hair. So we can go ahead and safely assume that she was born with natural blonde hair. But in the films, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. I don't actually know why they gave her that hair color, maybe so that the audiences wouldn't question her blood relations with the Blacks--I don't know. I really don't. But now we have a book version Narcissa, one who has full blonde hair. And a movie version Narcissa, one who has raven and blonde hair. At least, that's how the different hair colors started: a movie version, and a book version.
So... here's where it gets confusing.
To my knowledge, it isn't actually explained why her hair color is the way it is in both the movies and the books. Having blonde hair does raise many questions, how is she the "only" blonde in a family of dark hair and dark eyes? To top it all off, it gets even more confusing, because fanon writes and draws her either as a full blonde or a mix of raven and blonde hair. We just have this large pile to sift through of her having either hair color. No one actually explains anything. She's just... infuriatingly there. She's either blonde or raven haired and blonde. BUT fanfiction writers, as I've observed, give their own reasons why Narcissa's hair color is the way it is in their respective stories. And it's actually pretty creative and interesting! It adds even greater depth to her character, and it fits the narrative of the story even better. Remember, the character we're dealing with is Narcissa Black. One of her main traits is "she won't do anything unless there is a clear purpose behind it." This character is deliberate, meticulous, and she makes sure to plan ahead at all times. And so, some fanfiction writers decide to play on that.
You can skip this part if you want to avoid spoilers but I've compiled a small list of instances in (Cissamione) fanfiction where Narcissa's hair is mentioned.
🔹 In Extinction by rubikanon in Chapter 10: Build and Break, Hermione asks Narcissa about it. Here, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. She explains that she only decided to dye it blonde to "fit in with the Malfoys." We can gather two things from that alone, which resonates with her character perfectly: 1.) Narcissa is loyal and 2.) Narcissa purposefully wants to show the rest of the world how loyal she is by committing to having blonde hair. The woman has some serious commitment, and it shows. But now, the way that it's slowly growing back into her natural black hair color, hints that perhaps Narcissa no longer wishes to fit in with the Malfoys. However, if we take an even closer look, we can safely assume that Narcissa isn't the kind of person to just leave her hair color "unattended" like that. Remember, she's meticulous. And this is a big deal for her, the fact that she's just kind of letting it grow back instead of either fully dyeing it back to black, or dyeing it back to blonde. It suggests that perhaps she's a little unsure this time, perhaps it is her uncertainty that is the reason why it's now a mix of both. Another grey area? Or maybe it's actually something more deliberate? Maybe now, she likes that it's a mix of both. That other half now being solely for Draco, and not to fit in (completely) with the Malfoys any longer. Who knows why Narcissa does things the way she does? We can speculate to the ends of the earth, or be as smart as Hermione Granger (or with the case of Extinction, see Hermione's thoughts), but something tells me we'd still be a good step behind.
"Which one is your natural hair color?" I wondered aloud.
(Narcissa) She glanced up at the unexpected question. I was relieved she hadn't sensed my attention yet. It's not like I meant anything by it, I told myself. She was so beautiful, one couldn't help but notice. And feel physically drawn to her. And want to see her two-toned hair fanned across her back, slipping over the bare skin, silky beneath my fingers...
"Why do you ask?" Her query brought me back to reality, and I hurriedly corrected my imagination to include a pretty dress covering the rest of her.
"I don't know." I chewed the inside of my cheek, suppressing my other thoughts. "I'm just curious."
Her gaze returned to the fire. "You've seen enough of my relatives to guess which color is genetic. The blond is something I added to fit in with the Malfoys, after Draco was born." She was quiet for a moment. "He looks so much like his father. I suppose I wanted to share some resemblance."
🔹 In Killing Me Softly by Looktotheedges in Chapter 4: Nagging, Hermione suggests that perhaps Narcissa is part Veela because of her blonde hair and very attractive features, like Fleur. Which is this whole other theory/plot that's very interesting, but won't be discussed in this post. Narcissa tells Hermione that Sirius has always been blonde, and that it isn't out of the question for her to be blonde either. Sirius Black. A blonde. I know! Maybe it's there because it's funny that Sirius is actually blonde like Narcissa. Prissy, haughty, lady-like Narcissa. Arguably the 'girliest' cousin that he has. No, no, no. He doesn't want to be anything like Narcissa. Anyway, if that's the reason, I think that's hilarious and cute.
Narcissa turns away. 'I am aware my appearance is frightfully drab. Work has been…'
Hermione holds back a disbelieving scoff. 'Narcissa. You always look beautiful. And you’re talking to the witch with grass in her hair who practically lives in her office all week.'
Narcissa just leans further over the crib. 'A blonde little boy. It has been so long since… I can almost imagine…'
Hermione stands next to her. Looks down at the peacefully sleeping Louis. He does look remarkably like Draco. 'Are you sure there’s no Veela blood in you? You weren’t secretly switched at birth?'
'Like a changeling?'
'It would explain your blonde hair.'
'Sirius was also blonde, it is not completely out of the question for us Blacks.'
What?!
(...) 'I know. But it is the truth. He was blond until he was about seven… then it began to darken. Mousy. Dull. He wanted to look cool and brooding instead, so he got his hands on some kind of charm right before he set off for Hogwarts. A new, edgy Sirius. It was around then he forbade us from calling him Siri. Said it sounded too girly.'
🔹 In Fixed in Time by TheWorldsaBeastofBurden in Chapter 9: Sisters and Saviors, it's also tackled a little humorously. Andromeda let's a little comment slip while they're in the middle of trying to heal Hermione. Something funny, something that suggests Andromeda and Bella, when they were children, have always wondered why Narcissa is blonde unlike them.
The first words spoken occurred after they’d risen and attempted their casting. Andromeda’s preparedness to take on their task had been clear in her mind so Narcissa rose with her sister, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her near as the woman raised her wand to draw up the rest of the injury she’d dropped, half a slash across Hermione’s hip bone…
That remained half, as Andromeda growled out, “...it isn’t working.” she looked to Narcissa, “Why aren’t you powering me?”
What nonsense? “I am!” she insisted. She was! Or “I- I am trying to!” Her magic was active and alive, pulsing to rise from her skin and transfer into Andromeda’s but it- it wasn’t working! “Could...could it be that you were disowned?”
“Disowning doesn’t take away the fact that we share blood, our magic is directly related. Ugh, Bella always said you were adopted!”
“Oh ha- oh.”
“...oh?” Andromeda returned.
“...it’s not an issue of power. It is what I intend to aid in casting,” Narcissa slowly worked out. Oh, it was most blessed Mister Goyle could be brought to assist the present Hermione. If her present self had been brought to aid Andromeda? “...I cannot harm Hermione.”
Andromeda sighed with some frustration. “I understand you are so tenderly in love-”
“It isn’t- I’m avowed! I- when we arrived from the future we had to escape Malfoy Manor, I couldn’t bring Hermione through the wards without...I couldn’t add her directly, that would be visible. I had to...attach her permission to mine.”
🔹 In Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss (Menzosarres), which probably gives one of the most interesting backstories for Narcissa's hair, for why it's blonde. I can't put a clip of the scene here without hogging up a huge chunk of space on your dash, so I'll try to explain it as best I can instead.
Understand that these come with serious 🛑spoilers🛑 so please do read it at your own risk.
In Glass Silence, Narcissa's hair and eye color was black at birth. But after an accident with raw magic, something Bellatrix wasn't able to control when they were children, Narcissa almost dies. Bellatrix, using even more raw magic, tries desperately to pull Narcissa's "life force" back, but at the cost of losing the eumelanin that made Narcissa's eyes and hair black. Narcissa survived, but now has very little eumelanin left, which is why she's so pale, blonde, and has blue eyes. Every time Narcissa looks at a mirror, her reflection is a reminder of the day she almost died. Bella, on the other hand, is reminded of that day every single time she looks at Narcissa.
So! These are only a few fanfictions I could think of at the top of my head that tackles the issue of Narcissa's hair. In the books, to my knowledge, she is described as having blonde hair and very pale skin.
But let's take another deep dive, if you're up for it.
These are mostly theories, which are largely unconfirmed, but I think they're interesting to think about.
There's this description in the wiki:
"Narcissa Malfoy is described as tall, slim, "nice looking", and very pale, with blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a clear, cold voice. Her hair colouring thus differs from most of the House of Black, who generally have dark hair, though Narcissa does possess the arrogant good looks characteristic of her family."
There's also this pinterest photo of the Black sisters being compared to each other side by side, descriptively and physically. I'm so sorry, I don't know who drew it, but here's a link to the post on pinterest.
"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."
Which is interesting because this hints that she's... different. It's a bit literal in this sense--she comes from a pureblood family, arguably the most influential and notorious one, the Blacks, who mostly have dark hair and eyes, and yet her physical appearance directly contrast that. There's also the matter of her namesake. She's the only Black to be named after a flower instead of a galaxy or a star. We aren't really given any explanation why she's the only one who's different. Even Sirius, who fought and died for the side of the Light, is named after the brightest star in the sky. Even Andromeda. It's been said that this is actually meant to be a parallel of some sort to Lily Evans. Narcissa and Lily are both named after flowers, even Petunia (Lily's sister). And I know there's this thing where it's a tie up to how Harry was ultimately saved by a mother's love: Harry lived at the beginning because of his mother's love, and Harry lives once again at the end of the books because Narcissa, a mother who wanted to save her own son, saved him.
If you read that scene in the books where Harry is saved by Narcissa, the whole scene is actually... pretty soft? There's that sort of disarming softness about Narcissa in that moment, where Harry expected to be callously dragged and prodded for a heartbeat. Instead, he gets a surprisingly gentle touch, a curtain of long blonde hair shielding him from the darkness, and the kind of tenderness he wouldn't expect from his enemies, "Is Draco alive?"
It's almost like Narcissa's appearance is something of a "tell". With Andromeda, she's described to have kind eyes, open, unguarded. She inherited her family's dark eyes and dark hair, and she even looks like Bellatrix's twin. I suppose we could say, Andromeda wants to fight that in any way she can by being openly kind. Narcissa is quite literally the opposite--guarded eyes, stoic expressions, cool and calculated emotions. We're veering into this fine line between fanon and canon in terms of their characterization (but only due to lack of canon materials) but personally, I think Narcissa having blonde hair and blue eyes is somewhat more fitting for her character. Again, this line:
"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."
It's like that one glaringly obvious hint that everyone overlooks simply because... because it's the most obvious one. "Me! I'm different! I'm the last person you'd expect, but it really is me!"
Anyway. I've rambled on long enough. Hope this clears up some of that confusion, anon. Hoping it didn't ADD even more confusion... 😂 At the end of the day, this is just me speculating, gushing, and being One Big Fool™. So.
But either way, blonde hair, dark hair, mix of both, I adore her. Pretty much.
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ML Fic: Per-Chat to Dream (Preview)
(So I have been working a bit on this fic idea. Which if you guys like it, I will be willing be setting up as my next big multi chapter fic. So make sure to comment and reblog if you like it.)
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The beeping of the alarm reverberated through the room
"Ugh..."
Adrien's eyes opened lazily.
He sat up and stretched his arms upward as he yawned.
"Morning Plagg." Adrien yawned as he got out of bed.
He sheepishly walked to the bathroom.
"That akuma last night really wrecked my sleep time." Adrien commented as he brushed his teeth. "Don't even remember how we beat it. But at this point, I can take a guess on how."
He finished brushing his pearly whites and quickly tamed his bed head to resemble his trademark hair style.
"I am sure Ladybug is just as tired as I am."
He quickly got dressed and made sure his backpack was packed.
"Come on Plagg, I know your sleepy, but I need you to get up."
He realized that there was no response. Normally the small cat kwami would be complaining that his alarm clock is jealous of his loving relationship with sleep.
Adrien walked over to the part of the bed Plagg would call his home.
"Went under the pillow to try and sleep more? Typical plagg." Adrien rolled his eyes with a smile.
He pulled the pillow up to reveal nothing.
"Plagg?"
Adrien felt his tiredness turn to annoyance. He didn't have time for hide and seek with the grumpy god. Thankfully, he knew a trick. to find the clever Kwami.
"Plagg! Claws out!"
After a few seconds, nothing had changed. Adrien was still very much Adrien, just posing like an idiot.
"Plagg! Claws out!" Adrien shouted louder.
Still no transformation.
"What is happening?" Adrien pulled his hand back and his eyes went wide to realize, the miraculous was missing!
"Oh no..."
Adrien felt his skin turn pale and a pit of worry in his gut. This felt like the worst case scenario. He needed to find his ring!
Adrien rushed to his bed, pulling up the covers, sheets, pillows and anything that could be potentially hiding his ring. He started looking around his bathroom. He checked the floors, tables, shelves, any small crevice he could think of. He had turned his room upside down with no success.
He felt his mind racing, where could the miraculous be? Did... did they lose that fight last night? Was that why he couldn't remember?! Did the akuma take the miraculous and Hawkmoth was victorious?!
He stops for a moment. He needed to calm down.
'Hold on, that can't be what happened. Wouldn't the world be all grim and depressing with butterflies everywhere if he won? I know! I can just check the ladyblog. Get the details on the akuma attack last night. Maybe I can get some details on what happened.'
Adrien rushes to his computer and goes into his favorites tab, only to find the Ladyblog wasn't in it. He shrugged it off, he can type in the URL manually. He quickly types it into the site search bar... only to find nothing.
"The Ladyblog is gone?" Adrien spoke in a stunned whisper.
He exited out of the browser only to take notice of his computer wallpaper.
It was a picture of him, and a beautiful girl. They were smiling. Her cheeks were rosy and her black hair was down. Her blue eyes as blue as the sky. He looked at the picture of him closely, the way his eyes weren't even looking at the camera. They were fixed on the girl. He felt his heart beat a bit.
When did he have this picture taken? The last girl he dated was Kagami, and they didn't have any pictures together like this. Who was this gorgeous girl in the photo?
The blond teen looked closer, he knows she looked familiar. He felt like he knew her... He shook it off. Right now he didn't have time to figure out who the cute girl was, he had to figure out what happened to Plagg, to his miraculous.
"If only I could contact my lady..." Adrien sighed deeply. This would have been one of those situations where knowing her identity would have been beneficial.
He gets up from his desk chair. He needed to head to school anyway. He was relieved that his father probably wouldn't notice him leaving the house later then normal.
He grabbed his backpack and carefully made his way downstairs, when he heard something highly unusual, Laughter. But even weirder, it was his father laughing.
Adrien felt a chill go down his spine, was there some sort of akuma that was forcing people to laugh? And he didn't have plagg to help.
He rushed down the stairs and pushed his back to the wall. He listened closely. He needed to know the situation.
"...And thats when you said it?" a voice that adrien recognized as his father asked. The voice sounded like it was trying to hold back laughter.
"No, that was before I was heading to the car. He was so keen on keeping me there." another voice spoke, it sounded so familiar to Adrien but he couldn't place it. The voice felt warm and comforting.
"Right, that was when he was offering to pay you double for reshooting the scene." Gabriel stated.
"Yep, and I said. 'I don't care if you triple my pay, I haven't seen my husband and son for 9 months! I am heading home." The woman emphasized.
"And then he tried to say he'd black list you?" Gabriel chuckled.
"Thats when I turned around, walked up to him, looked him dead in the eye and said: 'Look Jeremy, I don't give a butterfly's buttcheek about your threats. You should be thankful I decided to even act in this colossal disappointment of a movie. I am going home, and you can kiss my ring once your movie gets nominated for an Oscar."
Adrien realized he knew that voice. he moved from his hiding spot. Standing in the entry way of the dining room.
"Mom?" Adrien barely managed to speak.
The blond woman in the chair in the classy light pink business suit stood from her chair.
"And so my little sunshine rises. I was wondering when I would see you up? Sorry I haven't gone up to see you yet, I just got home and I needed to tell your father about the ordeal I..."
Adrien hugged his mother. Holding her tightly.
"You're back right? like this is really you?" Adrien was trying to figure out what was going on in this world. Was this really his mother? Was this all a dream? A crazy roller coaster of a dream.
"I missed you too honey." She hugged back. She turned her head to Gabriel. "Remind me to call Jeremy after this, I need to give him another verbal lashing for making my son miss me so much!"
"Will do." Gabriel nodded.
Adrien released the hug.
"I have so many questions..." Adrien started. But Gabriel noticed the time.
"Trust me son, you can ask your mother all about her latest movie after school. You are going to be late if you don't head off." Gabriel instructed.
Adrien felt this day get weirder. Seeing his dad so... happy felt like such an oddity.
His mind was a medley of thoughts that just didn't make sense.
"R-right. I will see you... both after school" Adrien said as he started heading to the door.
"Hold it!"
Adrien froze, his mind still processing the fact that his mother is here and very much alive.
She walks over to him. She kisses his forehead, the blond feeling a sense of calm he desperately needed. His mother always did know how to put him at ease.
"I am finally back, so you need to talk with that lovely girl you have been talking with and set up a time for us to all have dinner together."
"Girl?"
"Yes, don't try to play dumb. The girl that you have been dating for well over 6 months now. Just because I am away doesn't mean I don't follow up with things going on in your life. Your father has sent me some photos of the two of you, and I must say, your father should ask her to help model with you."
Adrien felt his cheeks heat up, he did see the photo of the girl she was referring to. So apparently that girl is his girlfriend?! He would probably feel lucky if he could figure out what exactly was going on.
"I... I will talk with her about it." Adrien managed to answer.
"Great! Now off you go!"
Adrien walked out the door and headed to the car where his driver was waiting like usual.
Though as he was about to get into the car.
"Love you!" he heard his mother call out.
Adrien looked to his mom, a smile slipped on his face.
"Love you too mom."
He hopped into the car and the driver drove off to the school.
_____________________________________________________________
#Per-chat to Dream#ml fic#ml fanfic#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanfiction#adrien agreste#Emilie agreste#Gabriel agreste#Plagg#Marinette mention#Adrinette
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Dutiful Sansa Stark
Plus some extra stuff about perceptions and POV traps
Read under the cut-
Tyrion
"No," Sansa said at once. "You . . . you are kind to offer, but . . . there are no devotions, my lord. No priests or songs or candles. Only trees, and silent prayer. You would be bored."
"No doubt you're right." She knows me better than I thought. "Though the sound of rustling leaves might be a pleasant change from some septon droning on about the seven aspects of grace." Tyrion waved her off. "I won't intrude. Dress warmly, my lady, the wind is brisk out there."
He was tempted to ask what she prayed for, but Sansa was so dutiful she might actually tell him, and he didn't think he wanted to know.
xxx
He wondered what Sansa would do if he leaned over and kissed her right now. Flinch away, most likely. Or be brave and suffer through it, as was her duty. She is nothing if not dutiful, this wife of mine. If he told her that he wished to have her maidenhead tonight, she would suffer that dutifully as well, and weep no more than she had to.
Littlefinger
A true daughter would not refuse her sire a kiss, so Alayne went to him and kissed him, a quick dry peck upon the cheek, and just as quickly stepped away.
"How . . . dutiful." Littlefinger smiled with his mouth, but not his eyes.
xxx
She hugged him dutifully and kissed him on the cheek. "I am sorry to intrude, Father. No one told me you had company."
"You are never an intrusion, sweetling. I was just now telling these good knights what a dutiful daughter I had."
"Dutiful and beautiful," said an elegant young knight whose thick blond mane cascaded down well past his shoulders.
That's a lot of dutiful.
On the surface it seems like these two situations- one with Tyrion and one with LF- parallel each other; creepy, older men interested in Sansa think she's too 'dutiful' because she suffers through their attentions. However, when we dig deeper it becomes clear that the two situations actually contrast in subtle ways.
Tyrion
Tyrion calls her dutiful, but what duty is she fulfilling? She actually fails to fulfil her biggest duty to him i.e. having his babies (ew).
Or rather, she refuses to do her duty to him.
"On my honor as a Lannister," the Imp said, "I will not touch you until you want me to."
It took all the courage that was in her to look in those mismatched eyes and say, "And if I never want you to, my lord?"
His mouth jerked as if she had slapped him. "Never?"
Cue me falling ever deeper in love
This is a powerful scene. Tyrion is willing to give her an inch, but she goes and takes a mile. She could have just said "yes, I'll let you know when I want you" and then never let him know, but instead she said that. His plan was to postpone the consummation, but now she’s taken the opportunity to tell him that if she had her way, they would never consummate their marriage. He can still go through with it, but with this one statement (knowingly or unknowingly) she's put the onus of choice on him. He can still touch her, he can still consummate the marriage- but Sansa will never want him to. It’s still her ‘duty’ to suffer through it, but now any future sexual contact between them is undoubtedly in the non-con category.
That doesn't sound like Sansa is just reluctant to do her duty, it sounds like she's rejecting it.
In fact, Sansa is basically never shown to think about her 'duties' as his wife. Eating lunch with him may be her 'duty', but she isn't doing it for that reason. She's doing it because what other choice does she have?
Honestly I'm not sure where he even gets the idea that she's oh-so-dutiful, because as far as I can tell, she's really just doing the bare minimum she can get away with doing as his political-prisoner-child-bride.
Sansa does not, for a single second, give a flying fuck about her duty to Tyrion and I love her for it.
And yet, Tyrion's my-dutiful-wife false belief is what allows her to get away with planning her escape. Tyrion fails to be suspicious of her even when he absolutely should be re: that first quote.
So-
Tyrion likes to think Sansa is dutiful (for some reason).
Sansa is not dutiful.
Sansa doesn't seem to be aware that Tyrion thinks she is, but it works to her advantage nevertheless.
Littlefinger
Now in Littlefinger's case she really is playing the dutiful daughter.
This time, fulfilling her 'duty' as his daughter is in her best interest, because it acts as an excuse to avoid what he really wants from her. It's basically the reverse of the Tyrion Situation.
So-
Littlefinger thinks Sansa is dutiful because she is.
She's acting dutiful on purpose (to diffuse his sexual attraction (ew) towards her).
Clearly, it's working to her advantage.
Now, onto the extra stuff-
We have this-
Dontos chuckled. "My Jonquil's a clever girl, isn't she?"
"Joffrey and his mother say I'm stupid."
"Let them. You're safer that way, sweetling.
xxx
"The g-g-godswood, my lord," she said, not daring to lie. "Praying . . . praying for my father, and . . . for the king, praying that he'd not be hurt."
"Think I'm so drunk that I'd believe that?" He let go his grip on her arm, swaying slightly as he stood, stripes of light and darkness falling across his terrible burnt face. "You look almost a woman . . . face, teats, and you're taller too, almost . . . ah, you're still a stupid little bird, aren't you?
xxx
"There's to be so much, my lord. I have a little tummy." She fiddled nervously with her hair and looked down the table to where Joffrey sat with his Tyrell queen.
Does she wish it were her in Margaery's place? Tyrion frowned. Even a child should have better sense.
Sansa goes under the radar so well in KL because people think she's too stupid to do anything. Again, we see Tyrion, an overall smart guy, fail to be suspicious of Sansa's very suspicious behavior nevermind that she IS a child you asshole because he thinks she's stupid.
So-
People think Sansa is stupid
She's not stupid. We also don't see Sansa actively encouraging that perception, which makes sense because-
she doesn't need to. They do that all by themselves and
she's too busy believing she really is stupid, poor kid
3. It works to her advantage anyway.
Which leads me to-
"I forgot, you've been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell's daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head."
xxx
"Your Grace has forgotten the Lady Sansa," said Pycelle.
The queen bristled. "I most certainly have not forgotten that little she-wolf."
xxx
"The dwarf's wife did the murder with him," swore an archer in Lord Rowan's livery. "Afterward, she vanished from the hall in a puff of brimstone, and a ghostly direwolf was seen prowling the Red Keep, blood dripping from his jaws."
So-
People thinking Sansa murdered Joffrey with her witchy wolf ways.
She didn't.
???
I am SO looking forward to see where this goes.
More extra stuff-
This entire post grew out of me obsessing over this post.
It got me thinking that out of the six core characters, Sansa is the most observed one. We see her in real time through the chapters of other POV characters the most. I counted. My count can be up or down by about one or two chapters, but I have Sansa pegged at around 15 chapters, followed by Tyrion at 11, then A*ya (around 9), then Jon (around 8), then Bran (4), and then D*ny (0). This is exacerbated by the fact that Sansa has some of the least number of POV chapters of the 'core six'. This means that-
We see Sansa more (or at more than others) from other POVs than her own. In other words, we get to be in Sansa's head less and in other characters' head thinking about her more (unlike most other main characters).
This plays a BIG ROLE in her POV trap, which is pretty much the opposite of D*ny's POV trap in terms of both what it is hiding and how
Perception and reality play a very obvious and direct part in Sansa's story, both her own perceptions and others' perceptions of her.
The Vale arc changes everything though. Now suddenly-
She's surrounded by an entirely new cast of people
She's the only POV character in the location
She has an entirely new identity with none of the same pre-conceived biases attached (though there sure are other pre-conceived biases that go with her identity)
This has happened with other characters as well (Tyrion in ADWD, Arya in every other book), but the impact it has on our perception of her is unique. It's basically reversing everything her POV trap was previously built on.
Now, she is her own worst critic. Now, the thoughts that other POV characters have of her (Tyrion, Cersei) are increasingly muddled. Is she a murderous sorcerer, or a stupid little girl? Was she dutiful, or a scheming traitor? The correct answer is-
she was none of those things. Everyone is just....trapped by their own PoV?
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so I was doing some research after watching movie 6...
...and apparently it was originally written as a comedy
Yeah, I was surprised, too
Baron Omatsuri is not my favorite One Piece movie—Film Z has too many of my favorite tropes to be usurped from that position—but I do think it is the most daring. Of all the supplemental material I’ve seen and read, it feels the least...One Piece-ish.
Yes, that includes the noodle commercials.
If you haven’t seen the movie and can stomach a little spookiness, do yourself a favor and give it a watch. Unlike movies like Strong World or Z that have the look and feel of a manga arc, Movie 6 transplants the Straw Hat Pirates into a world that doesn’t feel like a One Piece story, taking risks and exploring themes that would never fit in the manga proper.
In addition to the obvious changes in art and animation style, there are supernatural elements that don’t make sense within the One Piece world. None of the Straw Hats win a fight—Luffy included, although he is heavily implied to have killed the big bad at the end. The moral of the movie, if it can be said to have a moral, is if you lose the people closest to you, the answer is to forget about them and make new friends. The story ends with many questions left unanswered and the main drama between the crew unresolved.
And, if you allow me to get philosophical for a moment, I wish there were more movies like it. As I wrote in my review of Novel A, I don’t go to supplemental material or side stories looking for a repeat of what’s in the manga. Oda has written 1000 chapters of One Piece—why not spice things up a little and try something different for a change?
I know the answer isn’t that simple, and by their very nature not all risks will pan out. There will be people who don’t like this movie because it’s different, both in look and tone. But there’s something to be said about a creator putting their heart and soul into a work and having it show in the final product.
Which brings us back to the original premise. How does a movie go from a light-hearted comedy based on a variety show theme to...this
Baron Omatsuri was directed by Mamoru Hosoda and came out in 2005. To put that into perspective, the movie was in production when the Luffy vs Usopp fight was first seen in the manga. Manga!Luffy had not yet faced the challenge of an inter-crew disputes when the story was being written and boarded, nor did the creative team have the events of Sabaody and Marineford to see how Luffy would react to the loss of his loved ones. They were working without a full understanding of Luffy’s character, and to a lessor extent the character of the Straw Hat Pirates, and it seems like Oda was much less involved In production than has been in movies since Strong World and beyond.
Likewise, Hosoda had just left a tumultuous situation at Studio Ghibli while working on Howl’s Moving Castle, and if this interview is anything to go by (https://instrangeaeonsblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/mamoru-hosoda-on-omatsuri-danshaku-animestyle-interview-part-1/) was going through a lot of personal shit when he was brought on as director. The script he was given was originally written like a variety show—something that was carried over into the various trials seen in the final movie—and meant to be a lighthearted affair after the relatively serious Movie 5 (which I have not seen am thus unable to compare tone).
With that backstory in mind, it’s easy to see how the bickering and backbiting between the Straw Hats early in the movie is a metaphor for Hosoda’s time at Ghibli, which is something he admits to in the interview. Movie 6 feels different than any other One Piece movie because it’s the project of a man who has had to endure the loss of those who he was close with, at least in a professional capacity.
There are moments in Movie 6 where Luffy doesn’t feel like Luffy. More than once a member of the Straw Hats ask him to intervene during arguments, moments Luffy either ignores or doesn’t notice. It’s a version of Water 7 where instead of fighting Usopp, Luffy ignores the underlying differences within his crew, and as a result loses everybody.
The structure of the three trials follows a clear path of deterioration within the crew, the initial goldfish scooping game showing the Straw Hats at their best and inciting the jealousy of the Baron, the ring toss sowing discord among the crew even as they snatch a narrow victory, only for them to be utterly crushed in the third and final challenge as they’re unable help one another survive.
It is somewhat implied that the Breaking of the Fellowship(TM) is magical in nature—that like the One Ring, the Lily Carnation was able to influence the Straw Hat’s thoughts and actions, but this is never stated outright and I prefer the more mundane interpretation: That without strong leadership the Straw Hats fell victim to the manipulative machinations of the Baron, and simply self-destructed as a result. In the end, it’s up to the interpretation of the viewer.
And speaking of things up to interpretation, I love how the Lily Carnation isn’t explained in the slightest. The plant that initially absorbs the Straw Hats looks more like the stem of a devil fruit than a flower, it for some reason rings like a gong when hit, and somehow is able to turn pieces of itself into facsimile of the Baron’s old crew who can somehow move around despite being plans. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and the element of the unknown works so well in the horror-lite setting.
My personal theory is the island somehow managed to eat a devil fruit which manifests itself as the Lily Carnation (which due to the L/R conflation in Japanese, is pronounced ‘reincarnation’, which I think is a nice touch of foreshadowing that may or may not have been intentional).
(Also, I can’t decide if little chewing animation it makes when it’s eating people or the weird bullseyes it makes when shit gets real are the most terrifying thing in the movie.)
Hmmm, tasty.
Anyway, this is getting long, so here are some final thoughts:
1) This movie has some low key fantastic outfits. The Straw Hats all look very cool without being over designed like a lot of recent movies. Big hat Robin is of course a fave, and makes me really want to see her in a Carmen Sandiego getup.
2) Screenshots do not do the animation of the movie justice. It’s very fluid and has a lot of excellent expressions/poses, although I admit the 3D is jarring at times. Do not let the art put you off if you haven’t seen it
3) Also, I don’t think there’s any shading? Like at all? The movie does a lot of cool stuff with color instead. For example, the scene where Luffy initially loses to the Baron his skin goes all grey, and I thought it was because he was fighting at night, but it stays grey even in the better lighting of the underground tunnels and stays that way until he finds out the Straw Hats are still alive, where it returns to his normal color
4) There’s an extended Benny Hill-type gag when Luffy first chases after the little mustache pirate that’s perfectly timed to the music, and ends when Luffy just uses his power to grab him. The comedic timing is amazing and it’s probably my favorite funny moment in the movie, of which there are several despite the overall darker tone
5) The extended jungle shot from Nami’s POV? Very cool
6) I love how from the earliest scenes nothing is as it seems. The opening text is Robin reading the map, but the storm that’s seen on screen is the one that sank the Baron’s crew. Likewise the whole fancy city is shown to be fake panels early on, the goldfish catching game is a trap, etc., etc. It does a good job clueing the viewer in early that’s something’s very wrong on the island, even if they don’t realize it at first
7) I don’t think this type of movie would work in modern One Piece without somehow nerfing Luffy. Horror works best when the protagonist is weak and vulnerable, and that fits best with a pre-Gear 2/3 Luffy (same with the rest of the crew, tbh. I was waiting for Nami to use her lightning stick during the games, forgetting it hadn’t been boosted yet).
8) I like how there are four captains on the island representing different levels of loss—the Baron has lost his crew and wants to destroy all others because of it, mustache pirate lost his crew and is willing to put it behind him to make new friends, Luffy has freshly lost his crew and hasn’t decided what path he will go, and coward dad hasn’t lost his crew yet but is at risk if he doesn’t change his cowardly ways
9) I think the reason why Chopper was the first Straw Hat to disappear is he’s the most likely to play the part of peacemaker. He’s also the only crew member needing rescuing at the end of the goldfish scoop game, when Luffy foolishly puts his life at risk trying to save him from drowning, just like he recklessly charges the Baron at the end of the movie. Except that time there was no Sanji to save him, leaving Luffy to get his ass thoroughly kicked
10) This is a very good Halloween movie, and I’m glad I watched it in October
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Life’s Lessons - Part 9
Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Who to Trust
Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)
Other Pairings: Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned), Female!Reader x OMC – Mark
Other characters: OFC: Ashley (Mark’s sister), OMC: Stephen (Mark’s brother-in-law).
Word Count: 7,144 (notes in bold, texts, thoughts, song lyrics in italics).
Part Summary: Thanksgiving time has Dean wondering whether Y/N is better of without him, as she tries to find the right words to broach the subject of her love life with Mark. However, she soon learns the kind of person he is and seeks comfort from the only person who she can truly trust.
Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Insecurities, Dean’s self-deprecation rears its ugly head, Self hate, Emotional Abuse, Mentions of Y/N’s ex, Fighting, Mark gets slapped, More angst, Tears, Comfort, Fluff, Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning)
Music: Jerome by Lizzo (playing on the radio while Y/N is driving home scene), Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper (not featured, but lyrics inserted for emphasis. Listen to it during the scene where Y/N and Dean are watching TV).
Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been loving this series so far! All your comments and feedback are so appreciated! I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of the journey as we move forward! Happy reading and enjoy! :)
Life’s Lessons Masterlist
Y/N stood in front of the whiteboard, filled with the kids’ ideas and thoughts about the latest book they were covering in class, To Kill A Mockingbird. Given that it was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and they had a half-day and then Friday with no school, she tried to get as much work done with them as possible. She could see they were all itching to leave as soon as the bell rang, so she was really trying to keep their attention. When she looked down at her watch and saw that there was only about five minutes left, she sighed.
“Alright, guys. Why don’t we stop there,” she said, turning back to the class. “I know I’m about to lose you all to the bell soon, anyway.”
They all giggled as they finished writing notes one by one.
“So, before you go… remember to read the last few chapters before Monday” she said, flicking through the novel. “I want us to fill that board up again, okay?”
There were nods and several “yes, Miss Y/L/N”.
“Good” she smiled. “I hope you guys have great Thanksgivings’ and stuff yourselves with Turkey.”
They all laughed, and she joined them. The bell rang loudly, and the kids all sprung up at the same time.
“One at a time through the door, guys!” she shook her head, amused as she’d told them that so many times.
Once they had all left, Y/N packed up her work and shoved everything into her oversized handbag. She picked up her fawn coat and put it on over black sweater, brown checked skirt and brown knee-high heeled boots. She wrapped her scarf around her neck and picked up her bag, walking out of the room after turning the light off and shutting the door. As she walked down the school halls, her heeled boots echoing on the floors, she heard someone calling out to her.
“Y/N!” Charlie called out as she reached her.
“Hey” Y/N smiled. “Ready for the long weekend?”
Charlie sighed in relief. “So ready. I can’t wait to be at Jody’s tomorrow for dinner!”
“Is she a good cook?” Y/N asked, as they walked into the staff room to collect their boxes from lunch.
“She’s the best!” Charlie exclaimed, smiling. “Oh, damn. I haven’t even asked you what your plans are! If you don’t have any, come to Jody’s. She honestly wouldn’t mind one more.”
Y/N laughed, slightly as they picked up what they needed to in the staff room and then walked out. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m actually going to Mark’s sister’s for Thanksgiving. He asked me last week if I wanted to come with him and I said yes.”
“Oh. Okay” Charlie muttered, frowning.
Y/N knew something was up. “What?”
“It’s just… after everything that happened at your birthday, are you sure this is what you want?” Charlie asked, shrugging. “I don’t want to put doubts in your head-”
“You’re not” Y/N said, turning to her. “Truth is… I kind of already have them.”
She had been on edge since that night after her dinner, where Mark had insulted Dean but then also how their night ended. She knew they needed to talk.
“Have you thought more about what to say to him about… you know?” Charlie asked, her eyes widening at the suggestion.
Y/N sighed. “I have. I just have to be honest with him, tell him that he needs to see someone.”
Charlie nodded as they walked over to their cars. After goodbyes and wishes for Thanksgiving, Y/N headed home. As she drove, she thought her and Mark’s relationship. They had now been together for 6 weeks, and things were going… okay. However, they still hadn’t attempted to have sex again, settling for heavy make-out sessions. She knew they needed to talk about what happened that night at his apartment. She was hoping that after things finished up at his sister’s Thanksgiving dinner, he’d invite her over to his apartment again and they could try to see what they could do about it.
She was still a bit weary after what he had said to Dean, but Mark had been on his best behavior since then, and she hoped that he would never do that again. He could be a little arrogant sometimes, but she called him out on it, and he was good about keeping it in control. That didn’t mean she wasn’t worried he’d say something awful again. If that happened, she knew she had to do the right thing and end it. She was giving him another chance to prove himself, so hopefully he wouldn’t screw it up.
Sam walked out of Dean’s house, carrying three chairs, stacked. He took the porch stairs slowly, as Dean did the same behind him, with his own stack of three chairs. They walked over to Sam’s car, putting them into the backseat, before he shut the door.
“You sure that’s all mom needs?” Dean asked.
Sam nodded, making sure the doors were secure. “Yeah, just the chairs. She’s got everything else under control, as always.”
“I don’t know how she does it” Dean shook his head, smiling. “Oh man, I can’t wait to eat!”
Sam scoffed a laugh, shaking his head at his elder brother. “Yeah, I bet you can’t.”
“Hey, no judging me on Thanksgiving, Sammy.” Dean gave him a pointed look, but he smiled slightly, as this was their brotherly banter once again.
Y/N fluffed her hair as she looked at herself in the mirror. She fixed the beige, red and green plaid scarf around her neck as she turned to check that her light grey sweater was properly tucked into the back of her emerald green pleated skirt. She reached under and made sure her nude thigh-high stockings were properly attached to the suspenders and garter belt. Slipping her feet into her nude high heels, she put on her fawn coat, picked up her bag and quickly left the house. She needed to get to Mark’s, and then he was driving them to his sister’s.
As she walked over to her car, she looked across the street and frowned. Dean was outside, talking to a tall man with shaggy brown hair, framed around his head and neck. She smiled as something occurred to her; Dean had said his brother was tall. That had to be Sam.
Dean’s eyes found Y/N’s house again and he suddenly saw that she was outside, standing next to her car. Their eyes met and he felt his heart hammer against his ribcage. He hadn’t seen her since the night of her birthday. She smiled tentatively, with a little wave.
“That’s her, right?” Sam asked, when he noticed Dean looking at her. He remembered her from that night at the bar.
“Y-Yeah, Y/N” Dean stammered, as he continued to look at her.
Sam looked at his brother, eying him suspiciously. He had seen that look on Dean’s face a few times before, including that night at the bar and he knew immediately what it meant. He would need the specifics now, after he left the bar and couldn’t actually meet this girl.
“Hey” Sam called out to her, quickly walking over.
“Sam, what’re you doing?” Dean hissed, trying to grab his jacket but missing. He quickly followed behind him, Sam’s long legs taking him across the street in just a few steps.
Y/N gulped nervously, as she saw the tall man approach her. “Hi.”
“I’m Dean’s brother, Sam” he said, as he offered his hand.
She took it, smiling immediately. “It’s great to finally meet you. Dean’s told me so much about you.”
Sam smiled back, before looking over at Dean teasingly. Dean glared at him, as he shook his head. “Really? I wish I could say the same.”
Y/N laughed a little awkwardly, as they pulled their hands away. “Anyway, it was good to finally put a face to the name, but I should really go.”
“Oh, of course” Sam said, as he stepped aside.
“I’m guessing you’re going over to Mark’s” Dean broke his silence as he turned to her. His expression was blank as he tried not to show what he was feeling. He knew Sam would ask him about it if he did.
“His sister’s” she specified. “They invited me.”
Dean nodded slowly but didn’t say anything. Sam looked between them, sensing something wasn’t right and quickly changing the mood.
“Well, Happy Thanksgiving, Y/N” he smiled at her.
“You too, Sam” she smiled as she looked at him, before looking back at Dean. “Happy Thanksgiving, Dean.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Y/N” he said as he looked into her eyes.
Y/N looked away from him quickly, as she stepped up to her car and got in. The boys walked away from her yard and back to where they had been, as they watched her pull out of the driveway and drive down the street. Once she was out of the vicinity, Dean pushed Sam.
“Why the hell did you go over to her?” he asked, exasperated with his younger brother.
“I was just introducing myself to the mysterious woman across the street, that you failed to tell me about” Sam replied, as a smirk appeared on his face. “I can see why.”
Dean’s eyebrows furrowed as his jaw clenched. “What?”
Sam laughed. “Man, you’re so smitten, it’s hilarious you can’t see it.”
“You don’t what you’re talking about, Sammy” Dean growled, as he scrubbed his hand down his face and shook his head. He turned around and walked back into the house.
“Come on, Dean, I’m not an idiot” Sam said, following behind Dean. “I saw the looks between you two.”
“Sam” Dean groaned. “I’m not talking about this.”
As Dean looked at him, an almost pleading look to drop the subject, Sam realized what was going on.
“Oh wow” he whispered. “You’re falling in love with her.”
“You’re insane” Dean denied. It felt wrong coming out of his mouth, but he couldn’t acknowledge it. Not when he couldn’t do anything about it.
“No, I’m not” Sam said, clearly. He was quiet for a few moments before he walked closer to Dean. “Look, man. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but something did. Clearly whatever is, it started a while ago, while you were still with Lisa.”
Dean glared at him. “How the fuck do you do that?”
Sam shook his head and ignored the question. “So… what’s going on?”
Dean looked at Sam and sighed, resigning himself to the fact that he had to tell his little brother. After he explained everything, Sam didn’t look angry about any of it, and smiled at Dean.
“If Y/N’s the one you want to be with… then Dean, you have to go for it. You gave Lisa three years, and it didn’t go anywhere. Maybe this is it this time” Sam said, smiling.
“God” Dean groaned, shaking his head. “Way to go all chick-flick on this, Sammy.”
“Dean, just listen to me, please” Sam begged. “That relationship… it was killing you. Y/N seems great-”
“I can’t, Sam” Dean said, cutting him off. “She’s with someone else.”
“Oh” Sam said, frowning.
“Yeah” Dean agreed.
Sam looked over at his brother, knowing that wasn’t the only thing he was thinking about.
“What’s going on?” Sam asked, knowingly.
Dean shook his head. Sam really needed to stop being a freaking mind reader. It was better to just say it and deal with it rather than have his brother pester him for the rest of the day.
“I just… she’s amazing” Dean said, leaning back against the back of the couch. “What is she gonna want with me?”
“Dean-” Sam started but Dean cut him off.
“I mean she’s younger than me, by like… 7 years. She’s so fucking smart, she’s absolutely beautiful, and she’s the nicest person I know. She’s been through some shit and she’s still a good person. So… what would she want with me?” Dean scoffed, as everything he was feeling came out.
Sam shook his head, seeing Dean’s self-hating attitude resurfacing. “Dean… you’re the best person I know. You’re hardworking, you care about people. I’m sure she sees that in you, from all the time you’ve spent together. You’ve been there for her, helped her settle into a new life here. Dean, you deserve to finally be happy. If it’s meant to be with Y/N, then it’ll happen. You just have to be patient. You have to stop thinking you don’t deserve happiness, Dean. Hell, you deserve it more than most people.”
Dean looked at Sam and just nodded, not saying anything else.
“So… I’ll see you soon” Sam said, knowing he should leave it there.
Dean was too much in his thoughts to notice that Sam had left. Everything he just said was all true. So then why couldn’t he see that in himself? He decided to get ready to go over to his parents’ and not think about it at that moment. He had a lot to think about, but he just wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving first.
Y/N put a forkful of turkey and yams in her mouth, chewing slowly. She smiled at Mark’s sister, Ashley who sat across from her. Things were a little awkward, giving that she had never met them until now, but at least she and her husband, Stephen were nice people. They were really excited to meet her when she stepped through the door and had been really great hosts that made her feel welcome.
“So, how long have you been teaching, Y/N?” Ashley asked.
Y/N swallowed before answering. “Nearly 3 and a half years. 1 year of substituting and then 2 years in a full-time job, back home, and nearly half a year here. So, still pretty green but I really love it.”
“That’s amazing” Ashley said, smiling.
“Where’s home?” Stephen asked, taking a sip of his wine.
“Rhinebeck, New York” Y/N replied, simply.
“Wow” Stephen laughed. “That’s a big move. Why the change?”
Y/N smiled tentatively, not knowing how to answer the question. She hadn’t told Mark about Ethan yet, and she certainly didn’t want to do it over Thanksgiving dinner at his family’s house.
“I just needed a change” she told him. “Being in one place your whole life… it gets a little boring after a while. Plus, I saw this opportunity and had to take it.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you did” Mark smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
She smiled at him before they went back to eating.
After dinner, Stephen gave Y/N a tour of the house as Mark helped Ashley with the dishes. They washed the big dishes, while they put the plates and cutlery in the dishwasher. As they cleared up, Mark turned to his sister with a smile.
“So… what do you think?” he asked. He wanted her opinion on her Y/N.
“She’s really nice; pretty” Ashley replied, nodding as she washed a platter.
“I feel a ‘but’ coming” Mark said, rolling his eyes.
“But” she started as she looked at him. “I think you need the full story on why she left home.”
“Why?” he asked, confused, as he wiped the platter once she handed it to him.
“Look, I’m sure she’s a great girl. I just think you need to know her reasons for leaving and see whether she’s been genuine or not” she replied, turning the tap off and turning to him.
“Why would she not be?” Mark said, glaring at his sister. He was a little angry that she would insinuate something about Y/N.
“I’m not saying she isn’t; I’m just saying that you need the full story. That’s it. Take it or leave it” she whispered as Y/N and Stephen came back into the room.
“Ashley, I love your house” Y/N smiled, as she gestured around her.
“Thank you” Ashley smiled in return. “Alright, dessert time.”
Meanwhile at the Winchester house, their dinner was far louder with a lot more people. John sat at one end of the table, with Mary at the other. Around the table was Dean next to Mary, Ellen next to him, Jo next to her. On the other side was Sam next to Mary, Eileen next to him, and Bobby next to her who was visiting them in Lawrence from South Dakota until after Christmas.
“So, who’s starting with what they’re thankful for?” Mary asked, smiling as everyone filled up their plates.
Everyone went around the table, saying what they were thankful as they all ate. There were normal answers of thankful for family and thankful for the chance to all be together.
When it was Dean’s turn, he was nervous. He wanted to tell them all something, something he was excited about and he wanted them to know.
“Dean?” Mary said, gesturing for him to speak.
“Um, well… I’m thankful for dad” Dean started, as he glanced over at his father. John looked at Dean, confused, as Dean went on. “I’m thankful that you trusted me with the garage when you left it to me to run because uh… I found a new building lot a few minutes outside of town. We’re expanding and turning that location into a restoration site for classics.”
The whole table erupted in cheers, as everyone congratulated Dean. Mary leaned over and kissed his cheek, hugging him tightly. Dean saw John get up from his seat and stood up, as John walked over. He put his hands on Dean’s shoulders, smiling at him.
“I’m so proud of you” he said.
“Thanks dad” Dean said, smiling in return. They embraced each other, John patting Dean’s back as they hugged.
As they pulled away, John looked like he had tears in his eyes. “Listen, let’s talk later. There’s something I want to say to you.”
“Okay” Dean nodded, slightly concerned about his dad.
“That’s awesome, man. Let me look over the contract for the building before you sign, see if everything’s legit” Sam said, smiling as he was happy for his brother.
“Yeah, for sure” Dean agreed.
“Anything you need from me, son, you got it” Bobby said, from across the table.
“Thanks, Bobby” Dean nodded.
Dean couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy. Everyone shared that with him, as they were proud of the steps he had taken to get here. He loved what he did, and he was excited to build on it and make it something really incredible.
After eating, a few others helped Mary clear up and put away the food. Jo and Ellen were putting food in the fridge, as Dean walked in. As he walked past them at the kitchen bench, he reached into one of the Tupperware containers and took a slice of Turkey, munching on it.
“Hey!” Jo protested. “That was my share of the turkey.”
“It’s all one bird, Harvelle” he mumbled around the slice in his mouth.
“You suck, Winchester” she muttered, glaring at him.
He chuckled as Mary shook her head at him, rolling her eyes playfully as he started helping her with the dishes. Mary looked over at him as he stacked the dishwasher, his demeanor different all of sudden from being fine just a few seconds ago. She sensed something was off.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
Dean nodded, not looking at her. “Yeah. Everything’s good.”
Mary wiped her hands on a dish cloth, as she walked closer to him. “How come I don’t believe you?”
“Mom” Dean shook his head, not really sure if he was in the mood for his mom’s intuition. He couldn’t tell her about Y/N just yet.
“Look, whatever it is… when you’re ready to talk, I’m here. Like I always am” she reassured him, placing her hands on his cheeks.
“Thanks, mom” he said, quietly. She moved in and they hugged, tightly.
When they let go of each other, Dean saw his father wave him over.
Dean followed John down into the basement, which was more of a den for John now. He walked past his desk and over to a little bar cart he had, pouring a double of whiskey into two tumblers. He walked over to Dean and handed one over but didn’t drink it yet.
“What I’m about to say, it’s been a long time coming but I need you to know this” John said, looking down at his glass before he looked up at his son.
“What is it, dad?” Dean asked, his jaw clenched out of fear that something was wrong.
“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sorry for putting everything on you when I left after that big fight with your mom. I apologized to her and she forgave me, even if I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I… I never apologized to you, though. I should have. You were 24, just starting at the garage in a more responsible role, but I left everything on your shoulders when I should’ve been there to help you” John said, shaking his head as his eyes glistened.
Dean nodded, understanding him completely. He had always understood why his dad left, and always thought he didn’t need an apology for it. When Y/N told him that it was an important part in moving on, he had agreed. And now here he was, receiving an apology organically, without having to say anything to prompt it. It was like she knew, and it was another reason Dean was grateful to her. If only he could tell his father how important she was to this moment finally happening.
“Dad, I get it. I understand why you left, and yeah sure I was angry when you did… but I got it. I still do. You leaving made me more responsible, and when you did properly hand the garage over to me a few years after that, I was ready for it because of what had happened. So… despite it being a hard time for all of us, it happened for a reason” Dean told him.
“And now you’re expanding the business” John smiled. “I’m so proud of you, Dean.”
“Thanks” Dean smirked.
They clinked their glasses together. As Dean took a sip, he saw his dad still looking at him.
“Now, I just want you to be happy with everything else in your life” John said, looking at him knowingly.
“Dad, I’m not telling you about Y/N” Dean shot him down.
“Oh come on” John laughed. Dean knew what to say to make his father drop the subject.
“Okay, let me put it this way. If mom found out that you knew about Y/N before she did, what would she do?” Dean asked, smirking.
John’s eyes widened. “Okay, you got me there.”
Dean laughed but didn’t say anything, as they both headed upstairs again.
Mark opened the door to his apartment and let Y/N in as he closed the door. She took off her coat and hung it on the back of the stool, as she paced the apartment. Her mind had been reeling in the car on the drive back from his sister’s, and she knew she had to speak up about what she needed to, soon.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked, as he stood in the kitchen.
“No, I’m good” she replied, shaking her head.
“Are you okay?” he asked, knowing straight away that something was wrong. “You were really quiet in the car.”
She sighed, knowing this was it. She tried to smile but she couldn’t. “Mark, we need to talk.”
His face immediately morphed into a frown. “About what?”
“About this” she said, gesturing between them. “I think that we have to get some help, some advice on what to do.”
“Y/N, you’re not making any sense. Advice for what?” he asked, shaking his head in confusion, as he walked over to her.
“For what happened last time when tried to have sex” Y/N sighed, knowing she couldn’t be discreet anymore. “For the fact that you… um… arrived in about 10 seconds of getting started, give or take.”
“What?” Mark shook his head, still not understanding.
She was trying to put it as kindly as she could. She didn’t want to hurt him. “I think you should see someone and then we can try again. Maybe it’ll be better then.”
Mark scoffed a laugh as he stared at her. “What the fuck are you talking about? I-I… I don’t do that.”
Y/N frowned and sighed, as she walked over to him. “Mark, it’s okay. I’m not upset. I just want to see what we can do, and then get past this little hurdle.”
“Little hurdle?” Mark asked, his eyebrows raised. “The fact that you’re accusing me of having some kind of problem with my dick isn’t a little hurdle, Y/N.”
He was getting harsh and she needed to bring the situation down again.
“I’m not accusing you, Mark. I’m telling you the truth. You need to see that this is real and that it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with finding out what’s wrong and us having a great sex life” she countered, trying to remain calm.
He laughed, bitterly and it made her feel sick. “So, now we have a bad sex life?”
“No, I’m saying we don’t have one at all. When you can’t keep it up one time and the next time you get off way too early and I don’t at all… there’s a problem” she replied, glaring at him.
“So, what… you didn’t cum?” he asked, his face morphing into a look of anger. He moved closer to her as he waited for an answer.
She stopped glaring at him as she shook her head. “No.”
“Then maybe you’re the problem” he snapped; his eyebrows furrowed.
“Excuse me?” She moved closer to him, as her eyes widened.
“Yeah, maybe you’re tired from opening your legs for some guy behind my back, that you can’t!” he yelled.
Y/N saw red as her hand lifted up and slapped him across his face, sending a resounding sound around the apartment. “You son of a bitch! I’m trying to help you and that’s what you have to say to me?!”
“I don’t need your help!” he yelled in her face, his eyes glowering as he shook her.
Y/N pushed him hard, his back hitting the wall behind him. He glared at her but made no attempt to move.
“Lose my number, you pathetic ass” she bit back. “I hope whoever comes after me is happy knowing you’re a selfish jerk who can’t see that he’s got a problem.”
Mark was frozen in his place, not being able to move. She quickly took that opportunity to pick up her coat and bag, marching across to the door. With one final glance at him, she opened the door of the apartment and stepped out, slamming it behind her.
Y/N raced down to her car, which was parked in one of the side streets. She got in and didn’t waste time, driving away from the curb quickly. As she drove home, her mind raced. How? How had she gotten herself into this mess again? First Ethan, now Mark. Was she some kind of bad luck attractor? Did she not deserve to have a decent man in her life? She had to thank a higher power that it wasn’t anything worse.
Flicking the radio on, she tried to drown out her anger. As the song changed to Lizzo’s Jerome, she couldn’t help but smile at how appropriate it was. She didn’t need Mark. She didn’t need a man who couldn’t grow up and recognize he had a problem. He was better off with someone else, someone who could handle his baggage.
However, as she felt her eyes welling up and hindering her vision, her mind was reverting back to what it was like when Ethan was in her life. It was telling her that she didn’t deserve to be with anyone. That she was destined to be alone.
She couldn’t wait to get home and let everything she was feeling out.
Dean got out of the Impala, stretching out his limbs. He had truly stuffed himself with the delicious food his mother had made and now he was ready to kick back and relax on the couch, before heading to bed. He was going to go do a little work on the new house the next day, so he knew he needed to be up early.
As he walked to the porch stairs, he frowned when he heard screeching tires approaching. He watched as Y/N’s car pulled harshly into her driveway, the engine cutting out. She got out of the car and slammed the door, but jerked back as something got stuck.
“Fuck!” she yelled, not caring how loud she was considering she was clearly in distress.
Dean didn’t hesitate, rushing over to her. He saw her trying to pull the strap of her bag from where it was stuck in the door.
“Hey, hey, Y/N, it’s okay” he said, as he approached her and put his hand gently on her shoulder. He saw her face and wondered what the hell was going on. He had never seen her that angry before. She was breathing heavily, her expression angry but on the verge of tears. He took the keys from her hands and unjammed the door, taking her bag out before locking the car.
“Thanks” she whispered, not being able to speak louder.
“It’s okay, sweetheart” he said, softly. “Come on.”
He lightly took her hand, relaxing when she didn’t flinch, and guided her to her house.
When they stepped in, Dean helped Y/N over to the couch. He gently sat her down but grimaced as he watched her, her breaths becoming short and worrying.
“Y/N, look at me” he said, gently. When she did, he saw tears start to roll down her cheeks.
“Why…” she struggled to breath as she shook her head. “Why does this keep happening?” she asked, her voice breaking.
The damn broke as she began to sob. She hunched over but Dean held her close, wrapping his arms around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, as Dean held her against his chest, his chin on top of her head.
“Y/N, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m here” he told her, comforting her. “I got you.”
She gripped his jacket tightly, her body shaking against his. “I-I…”
“It’s all gonna be okay, I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here” he whispered in her ear.
Dean just held her and rubbed her back, soothingly. When Y/N’s breathing had returned mostly to normal and she was only letting out small whimpers, she lifted herself off him. She slowly opened her eyes, looking into his green eyes.
“I’m sorry” she choked out, wiping her face roughly. She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed at herself, but he hoped she didn’t think that way anymore.
Dean shook his head, offering her a small smile. “Don’t ever be sorry, sweetheart.”
“I… I…” she said, shaking her head.
“Let me get you some water” Dean said, slowly unwrapping himself from her.
He went into the kitchen and found her glasses cabinet, taking one out and filling it with water. He walked back over and handed her the water, watching as she drank slowly.
She wiped her mouth on her sweater sleeve and put the glass on the coffee table.
“Did he… did he do something to you?” he asked, looking into her eyes.
Y/N shook her head and saw his jaw clench, his expression angry and sad. “It was my fault, I shouldn’t have upset him.”
Dean shook his head, gently taking her hand in his. “I’m sure it’s not, Y/N.”
She waited a few moments to calm down before she spoke. “He’s clearly got issues in the bedroom, but he can’t acknowledge that and decided to blame me for it instead.”
Dean could feel a raging fire within himself, but he kept calm for her. All he wanted to do was find Mark and kick his ass into oblivion, but he knew Y/N would never tell him where he lived for that very reason.
“I sure know how to pick them” she laughed, and they suddenly turned into quiet sobs as she launched herself into him, wrapping her arms around him as she buried her face in his neck. Dean held her close, never wanting to let her go. They weren’t sure how long they stayed that way.
She pulled away first, slowly and looked up into his eyes again. “Don’t leave me tonight” she said, quietly. “Please? I… I don’t want to be alone.”
“You’re not alone.” Dean leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’ll never leave you.”
After a few more minutes of holding each other close, they pulled away from each other. Y/N’s sadness suddenly escalated into anger, her face forming into a glare as she stood up. She walked over to her little bar, picked up a tumbler and poured a decent amount of whiskey into it. She took a large sip, not even hissing as it burned her throat when it went down. Dean watched silently, worried about what she was feeling and going through.
“Y/N…” he started but she cut him off.
“Fuck him” she snapped. She turned around and faced Dean, scowl still prominent. “Fuck him for making me think that his problems in the bedroom were my fault. Fuck. Him.”
Dean didn’t say anything, knowing she needed to let it all out. He raised an eyebrow as he wondered what Mark’s problems were, but he figured he really didn’t need to know. He had a feeling he was thinking the right thing, though.
“I was trying to help him” she said, shaking her head with a bitter scoff. “What did I do to fall into something like this again?” she asked, her eyes glistening again. “He’s exactly like Ethan, and somehow… I couldn’t see it. I fell for it again.”
She shook her head as it dropped down, her eyes closed as she tried to hold back her tears. Dean walked up to her, lifted her chin up with his finger, gently, until their eyes met.
“You didn’t do anything, Y/N. It’s them who should know they’ve got a good thing when it’s right in front of them. You’re too good for them. Some guy is gonna come along someday and see that how lucky he is to have you” he said, staring into her eyes.
Y/N didn’t say anything as she continued to look into his eyes. He said some guy, but that’s not what she wanted. She wanted him.
She nodded, a small smile gracing her face. “Thank you, Dean. You’re… I feel like I’ll never be able to thank you enough. I owe you so much.”
He smirked, shaking his head. “You don’t owe me anything, sweetheart.”
Y/N smiled before she looked up at the clock. It wasn’t all that late, just 9pm, but she was exhausted. Her body felt drained and she really wanted to turn in early.
“I should get changed” she said, looking away from him. “Do you want to go home and get changed?” she asked him, as she took in his attire.
Dean shook his head, as he looked at himself and then up at her. “No, it’s okay. I’ll just uh… I’ll sleep like this.”
“You sure?” she asked, frowning.
“I’m sure, Y/N” he replied, with a small chuckle.
She smiled, softly with a slow nod. “Okay.”
Y/N excused herself to go get changed into her red and black plaid pyjamas and loose, black t-shirt. As she walked out, she laughed a little as she saw Dean standing in her living room, looking over her books, records and DVDs.
“Dean, you can make yourself comfortable” she said, as she sat down on the couch, her legs tucked under her. “I don’t mind.”
Dean walked over as he took his jacket off, hanging it over the back of the couch. He sat down on the other end of the couch, a large gap between them.
“I don’t bite, either” she laughed as she looked at him.
Dean gave her a nod as he moved a little closer. Y/N wasn’t satisfied with that, so she moved in rest of the way, her body incredibly close to his. She leaned her head on his shoulder, giving him the ability to smell her strawberry shampoo. She turned on the TV and flicked through the channels, trying to land on something.
“Tell me something good” she said, as she kept flicking through the channels.
“Something good?” he questioned, wondering what he could tell her. He smirked as it came to him. “Well… I’m still yet to sign the contract because I want Sammy to look over it, but… I found a building for the restoration site.”
She gasped, her face erupting into a huge smile. “Dean, that’s wonderful news!”
Dean was glad to see her happy after what occurred today. He laughed a little as his arms wrapped around her, when she threw herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“I’m so happy for you” she said, quietly but he still heard her.
“Thanks, Y/N” he smirked, as they pulled away from each other.
She smiled at him but looked away back to the TV, to continue flicking through channels.
Dean smiled as he watched her. He never thought he’d have another person in his corner, other than his family. Lisa used to be happy for him when he’d do well, before things started to change for them. It was different with Y/N, though. She wasn’t just happy for him. She was genuinely excited and wanted to know about every aspect of his life and his work. He knew in that moment that he couldn’t let her go. He’d give her some time, considering she still had to sort out her situation with Mark, but after that… he was going to bite the bullet ask her out.
Tell me somethin’, girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?
When Y/N finally settled on a channel playing re-runs of The Three Stooges, Dean looked at the screen with a big smirk on his face. She took that time to glance over at him from the corner of her eye. This man was unlike any she had ever encountered. He was different from the men she had dated in so many ways. He may have had a tough yet incredibly handsome exterior, but his generous, caring nature was what drew her towards him. She needed to give herself a little time to clear her head and her life of Mark, but then she was ready to pursue things with Dean. She had been ready for him for so long, but their timing had been all off. Now, there was nothing to come in between them.
Looking at him as he sat next to her, she knew she wanted him to always be right there, that close to her. She knew she was in love with him. How could she not be after he had done so much for her?
Tell me something, boy
Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore?
I’m falling
In all the good times I find myself
Longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself
Later that night, Y/N stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. She picked up her phone from the nightstand and looked at the time. 11.30pm. She unlocked her phone and opened her messages, typing one out.
Dean stared up at the ceiling of Y/N’s living room, his hands behind his head. His mind was whirling with thoughts of her and everything that happened that night. How could anyone ever treat her the way they had? He swore to himself that if she ever gave him a chance, he’d spent every day making sure she knew how important she was to him. How much he cared about her. How much he loved her.
His eyes widened as the realization sunk in. He was in love with Y/N. It had hardly been enough time, but he guessed that didn’t matter. Not being able to be with her had only made his heart long for her more, and now here he was. In love with her. He needed to keep that one to myself for a while. The last thing he needed to do was scare her off.
His phone chimed and he picked it up from the coffee table, reading the message that popped up.
Y/N: Are you awake?
Dean smirked as he typed back.
Dean: Yep, just staring at the ceiling
Y/N: Can you come in here?
Dean smirk widened as he threw the blanket off himself and got up from the couch. He walked down the hallway, the wooden floorboards cold against his warm feet. He slowly pushed Y/N’s bedroom door open, smiling when he saw her sitting up against the headboard. She sat up on her knees, a nervous smile playing at her lips as he walked closer to the bed. She pushed the covers aside and held out her hand. He took it in his hand, slipping under the covers. He reached up and turned off the light, settling in next to her. Y/N moved closer, resting her head on his chest, her arm around his waist. Dean smiled as he wrapped his arm around her, bringing her in closer to him.
“Goodnight, Dean” she whispered, her lips pressing against his shirt-covered chest.
He leaned in and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
Soon, they both drifted off to sleep, dreaming of their future together.
I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I’ll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us
We’re far from the shallow now
The next morning, Y/N woke up alone, but felt that the empty space next to her was still warm. She smiled slightly as she saw a note on the pillow. She smiled even wider when she read it, her heart soaring.
Mornin’ beautiful,
I didn’t have it in me to wake you up, but there’s some things I had to do this morning. I promise I’ll be back later, and we can hang out.
See ya tonight,
Dean
She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she walked into the kitchen and started brewing the coffee.
Y/N couldn’t believe how much had changed for her overnight.
She was going to be cautious and make sure to take care of own mental state first, but she suddenly couldn’t wait to see what her future held when it came to Dean.
-x-
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#Life's Lessons#Dean x Female!Reader#Dean x Female!Reader Series#Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction#Female!Reader Insert#Mechanic!Dean#Teacher!Reader#Dean x Reader Fanfiction#Dean Winchester Series#Dean Winchester Fanfiction#Dean Winchester Fanfic#Supernatural Fanfiction
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Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]
I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure
3. How many fandoms have you written for?
Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.
When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.
4. Top 5 fics by kudos?
Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.
1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)
2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*
3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.
4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.
5: Come to me
Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.
Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.
*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*
5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?
I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.
6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:
Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd
7. Do you write crossovers?
Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.
8. Ever received hate on a fic?
*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.
9. Do you write smut?
I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.
9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.
Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.
10. Ever had a fic translated?
I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic?
I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P
13. All-time favourite ship?
*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.
14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?
All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)
15. Writing strengths?
Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.
16. Writing weaknesses?
Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.
18. First fandom you ever wrote for?
Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P
19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?
Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd
Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P
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