#anyway yeah please don't crucify me :]

[mars-ipan]

HEY FOLKS!

sooooo. remember when i was posting about being up way too late for a powerpoint thing i was doing with friends? yeah i'm posting that final powerpoint now.

allow me to introduce you all to...

THE KOMAHINA BIBLE

(aka a demonstration in unmedicated ADHD)

120 slides. 163 MB. somewhere between 14 and 22 hours of work. sleep deprivation. influence from @anonzentimes , respected komahina scholar. this bad baby has it all this is a powerpoint presentation summarizing and analyzing just about everything you need to know about komahina in sdr2 (and a bit from adjacent media as well). we go in-depth and we prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that komahina real and love wins (loses?)

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS MAJOR END-GAME SPOILERS FOR SDR2 (AS WELL AS DR1). IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN SPOILER-FREE (OR YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO KEEP SPOILER FREE (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)) THEN DO NOT VIEW THIS POWERPOINT PRESENTATION UNTIL YOU KNOW. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU HAVING BEEN SPOILED

ok cool! some other things to keep in mind under the cut:

THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED. IF YOU DO NOT SHIP KOMAHINA THAT'S LITERALLY SO FINE I KNOW THERE IS KOMAEDA SEXUALITY DISCOURSE GOING ON RN FOR SOME GODFORSAKEN REASON KNOW THAT I DO NOT THINK EVERYONE HAS TO SHIP KOMAHINA PLEASE I'M LITERALLY A MULTISHIPPER PLEASE. PLEASE DO NOT CRUCIFY ME FOR FUNNY YAOI POWERPOINT

i made this powerpoint in two sittings across 2 days, each sitting about 8-12 hours long

i got about 7 total hours of sleep in that time. not for each day- total. i was mad scientist delirious by the end of this

originally, i wanted to include far more- i wanted to analyze other media in depth (like the stageplays, the drama CD, komaeda's official songs, and even official art and materials) but i did not have the time for it. maybe i will make a new testament powerpoint detailing these as well as fandom analysis but that is not currently in the works

this is a presentation! as such the intended way to consume it is As A Presentation! unfortunately i am not someone who records videos so i cannot present it to you. if you would like to present it to you feel free. if you would like to present it to your friends feel free. if you would like to present it to the internet i'm honored but would like for you to talk to me about it first. cool

the original target audience for this was my friends and not all of them are anime people so. i am using the more english-friendly terms (as well as first names). i don't think this will bug any of you but i'm making it clear anyways

all art included in the presentation is credited with a caption linking back directly to the original artist's account. if you see your art in here and you do not want your art in here: let me know! i will take it down immediately and without question.

i may have missed some details/glossed over some things! if you think i've made a mistake somewhere or have missed something important, talk to me about it! i'd love to discuss it and if i make the new testament sequel powerpoint then i will include your corrections at the beginning :)

a lot of the jokes i make happen in the transitions of this powerpoint. some of them use audio- click on the little speaker icon to play the audio and time the animations yourself i suppose. i'd recommend playing it as a slideshow ^-^

have any questions about a particular point i make? ask me! i will elaborate for you

ok that's all i can think of!! have fun folks :]

[your-resident-boat-person]

would u consider what happened to SS Normandie to be twink death

also WHY NO SS NORMANDIE

Hoooooooo boy. I assume you're referring to my top 25 list of ocean liners? So yeah... uh... i hate to say it, and I'm probably going to get crucified for this, buuuuut.....

I'm not a fan of the SS Normandie.

I know! I'm sorry! But of all my criteria that a ship needs to meet, she just doesn't hold up! First, her career. It was PATHETICALLY short. Only 1935 to 1939. She sat in New York for a few years until she burned down (as is the tradition of French liners cough cough). The most interesting part of her career was her rivalry with the Queen Mary, but personally, I just think that story is way more interesting from the Queen Mary's side. I think the story of her engineering is interesting, like her turboelectric engines, and her hydrodynamic hull, but I think the engineering of ships like the SS United States is just more interesting! People say she's the most beautiful ship ever engineered, buuuut....

Yeah, I just don't get it. ESPECIALLY compared to her younger fleetmate, the SS France

Or her OLDER fleetmate, the SS Île de France

Who had a MUCH more interesting career, by the way.

Anyway, people point to her interiors as an art deco masterpiece..... BUUUUUUT

Look, from an artistic standpoint, I would never argue that these interiors are gorgeous. But people often forget that this isn't an art museum. It's an ocean liner. People are expected to live in these spaces for at least 4 or 5 days. Would you feel comfortable staying in a hotel that looked like this? With all the metal and marble and stone? This cold, towering, imposing atmosphere? It feels like a goddamn palace, and not in a good way. I'd be afraid to touch anything. Like I said, it's pretty, I just dont think it serves it's purpose very well. And people from the 1930s generally agreed with me. Many people described it as being "too much" and bordering on gaudy. I vastly prefer the Queen Mary's, Queen Elizabeth's, and Caronias take on Art Deco.

They just feel so much more homey and warm and inviting. Personally, I'll always prefer the Edwardian decor, which was a more restrained version of the Victorian decor. The Olympic's grand staircase, first class lounge, and a la carte restaurant are my favorite examples.

So anyway, those are the reasons I'm not a fan of the SS Normandie. Her story is short and largely uninteresting, and the way it is interesting, other ships like the Mary and the Big U do those things better. Her exterior is weird looking and ugly, and her interiors are oppressive, gaudy, and downright uncomfortable. I just never understood the love for Normandie. Anyway, if you disagree with any of my points, PLEASE let me know! I love talking to people about this stuff ^ω^

[lighthailstorm]

hater hours #1 :

i feel like it's time for me to show my true form and be a hater. the real ones will stick with me. if i ever have anything pop-culture or k-pop to complain about i will call it "hater hours #" followed by smth random i talked about. and the hashtag will be #everyone is bothering me. cool, ok. let's begin.

since this is my first time being a hater on this here application/website, i will just do some general things/people i dislike.

Taylor Swift

I will give the woman this, she knows how to write a good little tune. And no, I'm not gonna talk about her taking up screen time during football games bcs I don't really care cuz that's not her fault. Where she pisses me off is the nazi shirt incident of 2009, the pollution incident of 2024 & 2025, dating Mat Healy (affectionately known as Mat Healy Rat) who is in fact a racist and then breaking up with him and making a (bad) song with Ice Spice (which is the first time she's collabed with a black female artist) who was coincidentally the one that Mat Healy Rat was being racist to during a podcast. What a gal. So if you're a Taylor Swift fan or a Swifty or whatever, feel free to stick around but I will likely be roasting your queen occasionally.

Chris Rock

I rejoiced when Will Smith slapped this man on that fateful day in 2022. Like why are we booing Will, he was right? Well, maybe he slapped him for the wrong reasons (i couldn't care less about miss. entanglement) but either way it was a good deed. I know we didn't just all forget about the time where he was encouraging Louis CK and Ricky Gervais to say the N-word and the only person who had a problem with it was Jerry Seinfield???? Yeah, I want Will to finish what he started.

Most K-Pop Fans

Some of y'all actually need to touch grass. Like there is no reason for you to know like 9 grown mens heights, full names, birthdays, and weight. Like WHY do you know this and HOW do you know this?? Also, when Felix (of Stray Kids fame) broke his arm, the way some of yall were acting had me thinking that he was like 8 and not a grown 20-smth ur old man. Are they paying you??? I must know.

Most Taylor Swift Fans

Once again, is she paying you??? The songs are catchy, yes - but I remember when you tried to compare that womans performance skills to THE BEYONCÉ. Some of y'all were real silly for that. You know Taylor can't dance and you know she's a better song-writer than she is a singer. Please end this madness. Also the way you guys want to crucify every single man she's ever dated needs to be studied. WHY DO YOU CARE? Y'all should be thanking them really, without them you wouldn't be getting those albums.

Beyoncé Haters

Now this one simply confuses me. I get not vibing with her music or not liking her personality (although I don't know her personality) but you cannot deny that she is talented. You know how I know some of y'all are just racist? Because y'all were sitting there and saying other artists deserved album of the year at the Grammys this year. I don't even like country that much and Cowboy Carter is not my favorite Beyoncé album, but it was definitely miles better than every other nominee (no shade to the other nominees, they were good just not as good). Anyways, I will never understand the hate this woman gets.

The Summer I Turned Pretty (the show)

This show did nothing but piss me off. No one was likeable, especially not Conrad or Belly (btw what stupid names). I think the only one I kinda liked was the brother and even he was annoying. Y'all will really love anyone who is mildly attractive and white (yes, i'm talking to the conrad girls).

Gale Hawthorne of the Hunger Games

Ooooo, when I catch you Gale. He just pisses me off, he did in the books and casting Thor's brother did nothing to help him (that mans face just looks punchable). Oh and also the obvious reason of him being responsible for Prim's death.

Mark Wahlberg

He knows what he did. Literally just look up Mark Wahlberg hate crimes, and I don't even have to explain myself.

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series

Strike one for the name. I unfortunately watched skimmed through the first 2 seasons of this show. And as a true fan of the HSM franchise, I was greatly offended by what I saw. I decided to let it go for a while, but what I cannot forgive is Joshua Bassett butchering every Troy solo he is given. How dare you sing the hit single Scream like that? You disappoint me, Joshua. Also the fact that they decided to anything but sing songs from HSM in this show. Like why are we doing Beauty and the Beast right now??? Don't piss me off. For my own sanity, I'm gonna go back to pretending this show never happened.

Star Wars Movies

Have I seen all of them? No, but I've seen enough. I saw the third one (or not the third one bcs there's so many prequels I have no idea) from the original trilogy, i think? who cares? what i do know is that it was not worth the hype. i would say it's bad cuz it's the 80s but that's not true. there are plenty of 80s movies that are good, some are my favorite movies of all time (ferris bueller's day off, the princess bride, back to the future, etc). this was just straight bad and i think i know why. because NO ONE CAN ACT. mark hammil and harrison ford, i'm looking at you. my dude mark, was trying his hardest to show some ounce of emotion and failed miserably. Harrison, on the other hand, fumbled every single comedic moment he was given. What are y'all star wars fans seeing that i'm not?

[mythicandco]

So, what the fuck is Generation Loss? (Infodump Bait, go insane my man)

OKAY AOKAY OKAY I have not seen any episode besides the first one but I got spoiled for the end AND I watched all the teasers and played the minigame and it's so funny to me

so: teasers are horrifying, analog-horror style things. the minigame was ALSO horrifying.

episode one was the single funniest thing I've ever seen on a screen. I got WHIPLASH from going from the teasers to THAT. insane. absolutely INSANE. like the writing is really good and I really like it and uhh I wasn't expecting that but it's really good and I love the slime guy I hope he comes back (I know he comes back)

anyways. we go from traumatizing teasers to whiplash of a comedic first episode. so the horrors are Coming and I know what they are. we went from slime cooking show shenanigans to the main character getting crucified. like I'm literally not kidding they strapped him to a wall and shut his head in a box lined with metal spikes. (note: mc uses he/they pronouns. also they're Ranboo. did I mention that this entire thing is an ARG Ranboo has been working on since apparently forever?)

the funniest part is, I DON'T KNOW how we got from episode one to the finale. some shit goes down, I dunno!!! either way it's. it's really fucking hard to explain. like. even the first episode, which was really goofy, I don't know how to explain what the plot was. Ranboo wakes up in a cabin, solves some puzzles minecraft story mode-style with the audience (oh yeah- did I mention this was all done LIVE?? on a STREAM??) voting for what they should do, then this demon slime guy appears and tells him that in order to pass or whatever they have to cook him a meal, so he does that and gets insulted a lot and then eventually pleases the slime demon guy enough to be let move on.

and then Ranboo goes into the slime demon guy's basement, meets a guy there with a skeleton friend named Frank who is literally just a skeleton, and the guy gets possessed by the slime demon guy. then he and Ranboo have a video game-style battle (I should add the whole thing is done like a video game, just acted out in live action- the practical effects are INSANE it's INSANE) and Ranboo un-possesses his friend and then they solve some more puzzles, fight the slime demon guy one last time and finally defeat him by drying him up with a towel, and that's the first episode. like. that was it. I skipped some details but that's pretty much what happened.

and we go from that to Ranboo begging for the audience to vote to kill them because the evil corporation keeping them trapped truman show-style is going to keep wiping his memory and forcing him to be their protagonist. oka.y

I don't know what else to say here. like I genuinely don't know how we got from point A to point D because we skipped a ton. I still need to watch the other episodes

[alexhogh7137]

Rule The World With Me-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Story Summary: Ivar travel's to Kiev to escape his brothers, where he meets you and hopes that you will be his queen.

Chapter Twenty: Prayers

Chapter Summary: This is the day and night before the battle.

Word Count 1,156

Warnings: Angst and Fluff

_____________________________________

Today is the day before the battle to keep your kingdom. You are praying to the gods for the best outcome for tomorrow because that is all really that you can do, you aren't fighting. You feel helpless to the cause. This is your kingdom and you are just sitting back and letting your brother-in-law's and husband do all the work. 

…

Hvitserk "So we take them in the tree line. We will have more cover and more leverage," he said pointing on the map.

Ivar "Yes, I agree. If they make it past the tree line, there needs to be a guard covering every entry into this house. Y/n will be in here and if anyone gets in, she'll be in danger and I can't have that."

Hvitserk "There should be at least three guards with her at all times until this battle is done."

"Guys...I can protect myself."

Ubbe "Easier said than done when you are almost 3 months pregnant."

Torvi "My husband is right, you need to stay safe Y/n." 

"You are fighting Torvi...and you are more pregnant than me!"

Torvi "Because that is my choice. I want to fight for you and your family." You can't help but breathe deeply and sit back down. 

Ubbe "This is all of our choice Y/n. We want to fight for you, by your side. Stop being so difficult." Ivar snapped and throws his drink of ale into Ubbe's face.

Ivar "Don't call her 'difficult!' She just wants to fight but I had a vision of her-"

Ubbe "What vision Ivar?" Ivar looks at Hvitserk and then back at Ubbe.

Ivar "She didn't make it. She died on the battlefield. We won but-"

Ubbe "You...are not fighting!"

"I know Ubbe..I know."

Hvitserk "I talked her out of it…" Torvi walks over to you, joining you on your throne and pulls you into a hug. Ivar notices and gets choked up seeing such a moment. His flashbacks came back and he had to snap himself out of it before he broke down again. He can't break down in front of his brothers.

Ivar "Anyway," he said clearing his throat trying to get the sadness out of his voice. "I will lead you all, and the more and more people come in, the more warriors we will unleash. They won't know what hit them."

Hvitserk "First, we should unleash Kiev's army and then if they get through us, Ubbe will send in his warriors.."

Ubbe "I like that."

Ivar "This better work...my family is at stake here, brother's. We cannot fail.

Hvitserk "We won't fail, Ivar."

_____________________________________

The night before…

It is very late at night as Hvitserk is standing outside on a balcony that overlooks Novgorod. His hand is gripping his sword,  shaking a little. He looks up at the stars and begins to pray.

Hvitserk "Dear Odin, please be with us tomorrow. We need you now more than ever. Please rule in our favor, my family's lives are on the line. My godchild's life is on the line. If we win, this child can have an amazing life! Grow up in these walls and live a happy, risk-free life. I want that for him or her. Please, I speak to all the gods that can hear me….please, please allow us to win this battle. Help us get through this." You hear the ending and knock on the wall next to him, making him turn around. 

"Hey." He quickly wipes a tear off of his cheek and then smiles.

Hvitserk "Hey, why are you still up? It's late."

"Can't sleep. Neither can Ivar but he is still in bed."

Hvitserk "yeah, neither can I."

"Yeah I heard. Well the last part anyway." You walk up and stand next to him and look at your view. "You are worried, aren't you?"

Hvitserk "No I-"

"Hvitserk.." he lowers his face and sniffles.

Hvitserk "Fine..yes I am worried."

"Will you tell me why?" You walk to stand next to him.

Hvitserk "For the first time...ever, I am worried about losing. I am worried about the consequences of losing. I am worried about...if we lose, we lose you."

"First of all, you are not going to lose me. And second of all, our army is 100x bigger than Prince Dir's! So why are you worried about losing?"

Hvitserk "There's always doubt Y/n."

"Well stop having doubt! Have faith Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "I do. That's why I prayed for help and guidance."

"Good. I will do the same. Pray with me?" He agrees and he grabs your hands in his and you pray together. Afterwards, you look up at him and smile.

"Better?"

Hvitserk "Yeah...much better. What would I do without you, little sis?"

"I don't know...I am the best." He laughs and pulls you into a bear hug. 

Hvitserk "Now go to sleep, Ivar is probably wondering where you are by now."

"Okay, good night Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "Good night."

…..

Ivar sits up in bed once you came into the room.

Ivar "How is he?"

"Worried. We prayed to the gods together and that seemed to help him."

Ivar "It's a crazy thing...for a viking to fear a battle."

"We will win, Ivar. We have too." He grabs your face and kisses your forehead. 

Ivar "I know, and we will princess. I will make sure of it."

"What are we going to do with Prince Dir after the battle is won?"

Ivar "I will sacrifice him before the people of Kiev. Sacrifice him to the gods, thanking them for letting us win this war."

"Hmmm..isn't that too….easy?"

Ivar "what do you suggest?"

"We can torture him a bit...and then crucify him. He is a Christian."

Ivar "He is?!"

"Oh yes.."

Ivar "Then we will crucify him. Make his precious god watch him suffer before he finally takes his last breath." 

"See….that's a much better idea!"

Ivar "I mean he did threaten you and our child so I want him to suffer for what he has said and done."

"And he will, my king."

Ivar "Can you promise me something?" You look into his eyes, "Please stay inside. If you come out during the battle, I cannot guarantee your safety."

"Yes, I promise. And can you promise me something….don't die." He chuckles to himself and kisses your cheek, "I'm being serious! We need you Ivar. I can't do this without you...I won't live without you."

Ivar "I promise that I won't die, my love. I have to live for you and our child, right?"

"Right."

Ivar "If we have each other, then I will continue to live and fight for you every single day. You are my queen, you are the love of my life. You are my everything-" you stop him by kissing his lips and he grabs your cheek.

"And you are my everything Ivar...Forever."

Ivar "Forever."

_____________________________________

@hvitserkmarcosource @youbloodymadgenius @ivaraddict @ivarthebonelessvk @ivar-andersen @ivarthebloodyking @desiredposion