#anyway yeah i only made it half way but i was ready to quit 3 minutes in

[scarletwinterxx]

but on a wednesday in a cafe i watched it begin again - kim mingyu imagine

hiiiii - okay i'm so so so inlove with this one. may i say this is half inspired by real life scenarios haha anyways i hope you like it!

alsooo just a thought, would anyone want to be mutuals on X?

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

10 years ago

"Kyeom, I'm gonna go. I have assignments to do"

"What noooo, the game's just about to start" he mutters, he even kick feet like a little kid

"Then stay, but I'm going" you didn't even give him a chance to say anything because you're already out the gym doors. Your bestfriend used to your attitude at this point, he lets you be.

You pull your bag on your shoulders as you walk towards the school gates, some students were also on their way out since classes are done. Just as you were about to exit, someone calls your name making you look back.

When you spot who was calling you, confusion took over your face. Wondering why Kim Mingyu is here running after you when he should be inside with the basketball team.

"Hey, glad I caught you" he smiles at you.

Kim Mingyu, the guy who's known across all campus. He's the star student, all the teachers like him, he's never missed a class, he's good at studying, never the troublemaker, has a big circle of friends and an even bigger number of admirers from all across the school.

"What's up, do you need something?" you nonchalantly replied but that didn't deter him one bit

"Yea uh actually I wanted to ask you out" he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes as he waits for your answer

"Me?"

"Yea, I like you"

"Oh uh thanks. But I'm not really looking for that type of thing right now"

You watch the smile fall from MIngyu's face before it comes back again, it doesn't quite reach his eyes though. You notice.

"Oh"

"Yeah, sorry but uhm goodluck on your game though. I'm gonna go now" you wave goodbye before going your way. Not once turning to look back where Mingyu was left standing.

The rest of your high school life flew by like that. You still mostly kept to yourself, a few close friends, never really wanting to have any eyes on you. Mingyu never contacted you after that. You two acted like strangers once again, his confession something only you and him know.

Present Day

"Did you get the invite?" Dokyeom asks the moments he enters your apartment. After all these years, he's still your bestfriends. Most of your 'friends' from high school you've already lost contact with, you realized you were only friends with them only because you saw them everyday. Not many of them really made the effort to keep in contact, you can't blame them though since you didn't either.

But that's life. People come and go.

"For?"

"Our high school reunion, please tell me you're going"

"I did get it, and no I'm not going"

"What? Why? It'll be fun" he still does this thing where he stomps his feet like a kid when you say no to him, annoying but he's your bestfriend so you learned to put up with it.

"I don't even talk to anyone from high school apart from you"

"I'll be there, you can talk to me" he weakly reasons out, trying to plead with you is like trying to move a cement brick wall. He knows it's a losing battle but he still tries anyways.

"You won't stop bugging me unless I go, won't you?"

"You know me too well"

"Fine, but I'm not staying long"

"3 hours tops"

"2, take it or leave it"

Leave it to Dokyeom to make sure you're actually coming because by 5pm the day of the reunion, he came to your apartment even though you're taking your own car since you don't plan on staying as long as him.

"Oh you actually got ready" he says when you open the door

"I don't want another long message from you, let's go before I change my mind"

The two of you drove separately to the venue, as an introvert you admit when you got there you already want to go home. You see the familiar faces, already dreading the amount of small talks you have to do for the rest of the night. Cursing Dokyeom in your mind.

Your bestfriend didn't even give you a chance to step back inside your car before he's pulling you inside, saying hello to everyone on your way in. He's always been the nicer one between the two of you.

The two of you grab some snacks and drinks before continuing on meddling with your former schoolmates. Your social battery draining drastically by the second when you hear Dokyeom almost scream from beside you,

"Kim Mingyu! Yo dude you made it"

You look over where Dokyeom went, watching him give a bro hug to the guy. There Kim Mingyu stands, still as handsome as ever. A lot of years passed by but he still looks the same, just even better now.

The years have indeed been kind to him.

With everything happening around you, you can't help but feel overwhelmed. A few moments away from sneaking out but Dokyeom catches you once again before you can even give it a try

"Y/N's here too, you remember Mingyu right?"

You wanted to step on your bestfriend's shoes to make him shut up but instead you just shoot him a tight lipped smile before turning to the taller guy,

"Hi"

"Hey, it's been a while. I haven't seen you since... graduation"

"Yea, you too"

End of conversation.

You're still the same, Mingyu thinks. You're still the same girl he liked back then, you're still just as hard to read, still answering with single sentences, still beautiful like the day you broke his heart.

He wonders how you've been since then. Are you dating anyone or are you still out there breaking other guys' heart with your cold demeanor. He's still friends with Dokyeom and last he heard you've been doing okay. No mention of a boyfriend.

You don't give him a chance to ask any question, you say something to Dokyeom before walking towards the door

"Is she alright?" he can't help but ask

"Oh yea, she's being her usual self. It's a miracle I even got her to go tonight so I won't even be surprised if she's about to sneak home now, I'll just call her later"

"You two still close?"

"She's my bestfriend, dude. Of course we are, we're like twins ya know. Anyways how's the cafe going"

Mingyu hangs out with Dokyeom for the rest of the night, they didn't really run out of things to catch up on. He can't help but wonder how two very different people manage to stay close friends. But then again it's Dokyeom, one of the nicest guy he knows. At the end of the day, he's glad you're friends with someone like him.

The next day Dokyeom calls you to bombard you with stories about the reunion that you missed when you came home, he goes on and on about catching up with Mingyu then some other people from your batch you don't even talk to anymore but you listen anyways.

After the phone call, you get ready to go to work. You go on with your routine and before you know it you're done with your 9-5. That goes on for the rest of the week.

Some people hate it but you liked having a routine, it drives you crazy when things don't go your way.

Like tonight, your workmates all but forced you to come with them for afterwork drinks. You wanted to decline but you already done so many times so they made sure you come with them this time.

"Okay okay so what if you're in a room full of all the people you ever liked, who would you go to?"

Everyone take turns to answer until all head turns to you, "Oh me?"

"Yea, come on spill the details girlie we won't tell" one of your workmate jokes, clearly drunk

You take a few more seconds to think before you say your answer

"I guess this guy I rejected in high school"

"What? Oh my gosh whoooo, tell us tell us what happened" they excitedly ask

"Oh no big deal, just a guy. He was nice, like really nice. I liked that about him, but uh I guess high school me wasn't ready for any kind of commitment so I rejected him. I choose him because I want to apologize, that's all"

"Aw did you hear that? that's so cuteee"

"So where is he now?"

"I don't know, I never really kept in touch"

You grab your glass so you can avoid any more questions, after an hour to tell them goodbye since you still have to go to work tomorrow.

And as expected you woke up with a slight headache, even though you wanted to stay in bed for the day you know you can't. You get up and get ready for the day, planning to stop by this cafe your workmates keep on mentioning on your way to work.

Good things it's still early, when you got the cafe there were only a few people inside. You can smell the freshly brewed coffee and pastries on the stand.

"Next, Hi goodmorning what can I get you?"

"Hi, can I get an iced Vanilla Latte and a bagel with cream cheese to go? Thank you" you say your order while the cashier notes it down "Okay, for a moment I'll just get your order ready"

"Sure" you wait on the counter for your order, checking the other pastries and the menu board.

Mingyu was at the back, getting some stocks ready for the day when he spots someone on the counter. He had to do a double take to make sure it was you standing in his cafe, immediately a smile forming on his face as he watch you look at the display case.

You're too lost in your own world to notice him now standing Infront of you so he clears his throat to get your attention, "Can I get you something else, see anything you like?" he asks

He can see you weren't expecting to see him here, out of all places.

What in the twisted fate was this, you think to yourself.

"Oh uh the other barista already took my order" you tell him, Mingyu goes to the other guy telling him something before returning to the register with your order, "One iced vanilla latte and bagel with cream cheese, here you go. Anything else?" he asks again

"I think this is all for now, so how much?"

"On the house" Mingyu says with a smile, makes you wonder if he does this on a regular basis but you shake the thought away.

"What? No, come on I'll feel bad. Tell me how much" you tell Mingyu but he just shakes his head at you

"Free coffee for the pretty lady"

"Do you tell all your lady customers that?" you ask him, the words already out before you can stop yourself. You can feel your cheeks heat up but Mingyu just chuckles, again he shakes his head

"Just you, tell me next time how's our coffee and baked goods are then we'll call it even" he tells you, pointing at the suggestion box

"Are you sure? My workmates recommended this place and they said the coffee is good but I never really went with them" you tell him,

"You work close by?"

"A few blocks from here, I sometimes pass by here but it's always so busy. I guess I got lucky today"

All this time you were this close to where he was and he never knew. Mingyu mentally agrees with you, indeed it is a lucky day because for the first time since he met you you finally said more than one sentence to him.

17 year old Mingyu would be pouting and kicking his feet out of jealousy, he would never believe this day would come but here you are.

"Thank you for the coffee and food, uh see you around"

"You too, Y/N. It's nice to see you again" he smile again, you shoot him a small smile before going your way.

He watches you go out the door, the scene of you walking away hitting him like a Deja vu. A scene from 10 years go playing in head. Just as you were about to exit the door, to turn around to look at him behind the counter then shoot him another smile then you were gone.

This time though Mingyu wasn't left with a heart to mend but something to look forward to. Maybe just maybe this time it'll be his chance.

"You're down bad" Hoshi, his co-owner and other barista, says from beside him

"Huh?"

"Really?? Coffee for the pretty lady? so original" he laughs

"What? I never used that on anyone" Mingyu mumbles, "I know, that's why I said you're down bad. Who is she by the way?"

"Someone very special, call me when she comes back" he pats Hoshi on the shoulder before going to the back to resume his re-stocking duties.

Mingyu didn't want to expect (but he was), he would be lying if he didn't tell Hoshi he'd open tomorrow and man the register just in case you come in early again. He would be lying if he says he looked up every time the bell dings signaling another customer came in only it wasn't you.

It took you a few days before you visited again, and this time luck wasn't on Mingyu's side because he was not on duty.

"Hey, you're Mingyu's friend" Hoshi remembers you from the other day, greeting you with a big smile making his eyes almost disappear. He seems like a warm person, very friendly.

"Yeah, you can say that" you shyly answer him "Oh right sorry, what can I get you?"

"I'll get another iced vanilla latte. The last one you made was really good" you tell him

"Thanks, make sure to drop that inside our box" he jokes "Anything else?"

"Can you recommend any pastry for me to try? They all look so good"

"Honestly, not to be biased, everything's good here but that chocolate cake is extra special. Mingyu makes it himself everyday, want a slice?"

"Sure, sounds great"

Hoshi, you learn his name, goes and make your order like before then returns to the counter "Okay here you go, and the man says it's on the house"

"Huh?" you ask confused "Mingyu said it's on the house if ever you come back"

"Oh I can not not pay, he already said that the last time" you said, already getting your card out

"No really, he insists. And between us, I'd be in bigger trouble if I let you pay. If you want to scold him, feel free to do so and drop it in the box"

You chuckle, finally taking your drink and food "Thanks again, let me write something" you seat on a vacant chair to get a paper from inside your bag, writing a quick note before going back to the counter to drop it in the box. You say goodbye to Hoshi before going.

You feel your phone ring in your pocket, Dokyeom's name flashing on the screen "Barbeque later"

"Are you asking or are you telling me?"

"I'll come by after work" then he hangs up.

A few hours later, your bestfriend shows up with a few grocery bags and a loud mouth. You two catch up on what you missed on the few days you didn't get to talk, he likes staying up to date with your life even though nothing really ever happens. He's like the brother you never expected but you're now stuck with.

"Do you have any sweets here, chocolate or something" you hear him scrummaging through your kitchen

"I have a cake slice in the fridge"

Dokyeom finds it then walks back to the dining table, setting it in the middle to share between the two of you

"Oh gosh this is so good, where did you buy this?"

"At Mingyu's cafe, did you know he had one?" you ask back, Dokyeom's head springs up to look at you

"You went there? Mingyu did mention he had a cafe. So you two talked?"

"Yea he was there the first time I went, it was really nice the coffee is good. The other barista said Mingyu baked this" you tell him, taking another bite

"You know, you never told me why you rejected him"

Dokyeom suddenly mentioning that made you cough out loud, "You said you liked him right? Then all of a sudden you were telling me you rejected him"

"Are we really talking about this? It's been 10 years"

"Yea"

"Like I said, I didn't have the time and I got overwhelmed. Everyone knew who Mingyu was, I didn't want that kind of attention on me too. I guess 17 year old me got scared"

Dokyeom listens to you, watching you stab the piece of cake before taking a bite "For what it's worth, he really liked you back then. He even asked me what your favorites were, I said you liked cakes more than ice cream"

Back at the cafe, Mingyu comes in after Hoshi closes so he can start on baking tomorrow's batch of cake. He's in the kitchen getting the ingredients ready while Hoshi cleans the display case and front of the house.

He was humming to himself when he hears the kitchen door swing open, "Oh by the way Y/N dropped by today"

Mingyu forgets the number he was on, now he has to measure the flour all over again. He turns to look at his friend with an annoyed expression, Hoshi holds his hands in the air

"Hey don't blame me, not my fault she went here on your only day off. But I did say it's on the house courtesy of you, so you're welcome"

"Atleast you did something right" Mingyu says

"And she got the chocolate cake, she also dropped something in the box. Go check it when you're done, I'm going now" he waves goodbye before going to the office to do a few more things before leaving Mingyu alone at the shop.

He tries to focus first on what he's doing, going back to measuring the ingredients and putting it in the oven before going to the counter to get the box.

How will find your note here when there's about 30 others in here, he's not so sure. He reads through a few of them when finally he finds one

Coffee is great, maybe even better with company. On me next time I come back, thanks Gyu :)

He knows it's from you because of the nickname, a lot of people from highschool used to call him that. It may be common but it sounded extra special when you're the one calling him that. He takes the note and put it in his pocket before putting the others back.

Tonight's cake about to be extra good.

When Mingyu comes in the shop the next day he was expecting you to come, he wasn't going to lie about it this time.

It might seem silly but he never really got over his crush on you. There's something about you that he admired so much, even though people said you're the 'ice queen' with your stoic expression and one line answers he thinks you're just always straight to the point.

He never harbored hard feelings even after you rejected him, he understood your reasons. He knew you were focused on your studies but he just wanted to shoot his shot.

That day when he asked you, he already saw you in the gym before the game. He thought you were going to watch only for you to disappear a few minutes before they started, he chased after you with high hopes only to be handed his heart back in a few pieces. But even then he still liked you, he continued on admiring you from afar. Cheering you on your academic victories and cheering for you on your graduation day when you gave out your valedictorian speech.

He liked watching you achieve your goals, you always had that laser focus and determination. The entire class knew you deserved it.

Now a decade later, you're still the same in some ways. The night during the reunion party, he didn't expect to see you there. You didn't age a day, you still look so beautiful. You now carry this confident but reserved aura around you, he admits he was a bit intimidated to approach you so he thanks Dokyeom for being there.

The day passed by and still no sign of you, when he turns the open sign over to close he lets out the biggest sigh. Looking at the last slice of cake on the stand, ironically very similar to him. Waiting for you to come by.

He's busy mopping the floors to notice he didn't lock the front door, you just got out of work and decided to check if the cafe was still open. The sign said closed but you spot Mingyu inside so you try to knock on the glass door but he couldn't hear you so you let yourself in.

You walk closer to where he was before tapping him on the back making the tall man jump up in the air with mop in hand.

Mingyu turns around, holding his hand to his chest as he looks at you blinking back at him "Fuck you scared the shit out of me, sorry" he mumbles the apology after letting a few curses out

"Sorry, I didn't mean too. I knocked but you couldn't hear. Uhm is it a bad time?"

"No, I mean no it's good. I was just cleaning up. Do you want anything?" he asks you, putting the mop in the bucket before walking towards the counter with you following. He stands by the cashier while you stand on the other side

You spot the last piece of cake like it's calling your name, Mingyu following your gaze. Smiling to himself while he waits for your order.

"I'll get the last piece of chocolate cake, please. Hoshi recommended it yesterday and it was really food. Glad I got the last one" you smile

Little did you know he made that recipe with you in mind. He knew you liked chocolate cakes. "Chocolate cake coming up, anything else? Our cookies are good too, let me get some for you"

"As long as you let me pay for it"

"Not a chance, miss" Mingyu smirks, putting the remaining cookies in a box along with the cake before walking back to face you

"Not this again, you already got it for me the last few times I was here. How will you run a business if you keep on giving it out for free"

"I don't always do it" Mingyu shrugs

"Just let me pay please" you say giving him your card but he just pushes it back

"No"

"Mingyu"

He smiles, looking over at you. For a second you were taken back by his stare. The only way you can describe it was sweet, he looked so sweet like the cake he baked. He looked so soft and gentle like he wouldn't break a heart.

"Come back next time, I'll let you pay"

"You said that the last time"

"Then keep coming back, maybe one day I'll let you" he confidently tells you, the underlying message of wanting to see you again lies in the air. He holds his breath waiting for your next words,

"If you don't let me pay the next time, I won't come back" you threaten him cutely, finally taking the bag from him. Mingyu smiles walking to the other side to walk you out.

Before you reach the door you stop, "Actually, there's something I need to tell you" you turn to look up at him

"Go ahead, I'm listening"

You take a few seconds, again surprised with how he's staring right at you. Like he's seeing all of you.

"I would like to apologize for what happened before, you know the whole rejection thing. I know it's a bit overdue, actually it's very overdue but I've always wanted to say sorry. Someone asked me if I was in a room full of all the people I liked, who would I run to I said you. That's because I wanted to say sorry... so yea. I'm sorry" you mumble, now you're looking at his chest. Too shy to look at him

"You like me?" Mingyu mumbles

This make you look at him again, "That's all you heard?"

"I mean I appreciate the thought, apology accepted. Now back to my question.. I heard that right, right?"

"You're not wrong"

You and your one liner answers.

"So how many are there in the room" he asks, now he's teasing you. You can't help but scowl at him, rolling your eyes.

"It's a very short list and you're missing my point"

"No I get it, and no need to apologize. I respect your decision back then and I still do now. No need to say sorry over that, no hard feelings" he smiles at you.

Mingyu wanted to reach out and hold your hand but he stops himself. He didn't want to mess this again with you, if this is finally his second chance then he's not going to do anything to mess it up.

"I really am, it's been 10 years but I just wanted to tell you that. So yea.. that's uh that's all"

"Can I ask something?"

"What?" you ask back "Who else would be in the room with me, do I know the others"

"Oh my gosh! It's a very short list"

He laughs at your answer, reaching up to tuck the loose hair than fell on your face behind your ear.

"I believe you, tell me about it next time you get coffee"

"Seriously making me rethink about coming back here" you pout, this made Mingyu's heart pound like crazy. A hundred shots of espresso got nothing on you. Only you can make him feel this way, so alive.

"I'll bake you a cake" he bargains

"Chocolate?"

"All yours, on the house"

[thrillered]

"You Know I Mountain Dew It For Ya" | Spencer Agnew X Reader | Pt. 4

Pt. 4: Ignoring

-

-

-

-

Spencer texted you a couple times last night, only to be met with short responses of, “cool”, “ok”, and “sure”. It was driving him crazy, you never texted like that, even when you first met each other you were always an enthusiastic texter. He even tried calling you and you let it ring, sending a “busy” text when it went to voicemail. 

You weren’t busy. Unless you count pacing your living room as being busy. It was killing you to act this coldly towards Spencer, every time your phone vibrated and the “Spenceyyy <3” contact popped up your heart soared, then your stomach dropped. 

You felt like maybe ignoring him was a mistake, that you were pushing your best friend away. But, you’ve spent so long repressing your true feelings for him that now that they’ve surfaced it's become too much and maybe some time away would help you decide what to do. 

You considered your options as you drove to work. You could A: talk to him about your feelings during your next movie night or B: re-repress your feelings and live the rest of your life as just his best friend and more than likely have to watch him fall in love with someone that isn’t you. You think option B might kill you, so option A it is. 

You got to the office, early as usual, walking in and heading straight to the kitchen to continue your tradition, making a big pot of coffee for the rest of the office so it's hot and ready for them. This became part of your routine a long time ago and you’re always happy to do something nice for your coworkers. 

Having your coffee made you sat down at your desk, settling your headphones atop your head to play some music while you eased into your workday. It wouldn’t be too bad today since you had a half day anyway, having a dentist appointment at 1:45. Plus, you didn’t have to shoot anything today since they accomodated your appointment when they made your shoot block this week. 

You were finishing a draft for a script you’ve been writing as people started to make their way in, lifting their mugs in thanks as they passed your desk. You sent the script to Courtney and Patrick so that they could give you feedback.

Your first real responsibility was a meeting regarding your next shoot block. You walked to the conference room and sat down, pulling up your calendar and a doc to take notes. Spencer, Ian, Kiana, and a few others joined you, pulling out their laptops as well. 

You tried not to make eye contact with Spencer, simply nodding at his words instead of responding or interjecting. The meeting was going smoothly, they informed you that you were going to be in quite a few more videos than usual the next shoot block in response to your newfound musical fame because they think it will increase viewership.

“One last thing Y/N, we wanted to know if you would be interested in guesting on Smosh Mouth this week? You can talk about your music journey and what this fame is like and give some insider information about Espresso.“ Kiana stated shuffling through some papers. 

“We know you already promised a live stream on Instagram but we think it would be a great episode. They were going to film another weird subreddits episode but we can do that whenever, we’d be able to film and turnaround the video within the week of shooting it.” Spencer added, trying to lock eyes with you. 

“Yeah that sounds awesome” You agreed, knowing it meant you could be more vague on the live stream today, giving you more time to figure out how you’re gonna go about the “Spenspresso” allegations.

You went over some more logistical stuff before parting ways, going back to your desk and putting your headphones back on, hoping it will signal to Spencer that you don’t want to talk. 

The rest of your morning was filled with other meetings, sketch writing with Courtney, and you even went over to the art department to help with a few props. Before long everyone broke for lunch, which was your queue to leave. You packed your bag while everyone was getting ready for lunch and slipped out while everyone was occupied. 

–

Spencer’s eyes darted around the lobby, trying to land on your figure, only to turn up empty. He did a lap around the office looking for you, finishing at your desk where he noticed your stuff was gone and you had left for the day. 

“Looking for Y/N?” Alé asked, pulling out a drawer of your desk and setting some papers that you requested inside. “She had an appointment so she left early.” 

At this point Spencer was even more confused and frankly just hurt. You usually told him everything and it's been days without any real communication, you won’t make eye contact with him, and now you left without saying goodbye. He couldn’t take it anymore, he felt like he was losing his best friend. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, the past few days felt like purgatory, like he was being punished for some reason. Every hour he spent without you his heart ached.

He searched for Angela, knowing if anyone could help him it was her. Outside of himself Angela was one of your closest friends and he knew you two talked about basically everything. 

“Hey Angela, you busy?” He asked, approaching the table she was sitting at with Amanda and Erin. 

“Just eating,” She began, “If this is work related it can wait though, I have 20 more minutes of lunch.” 

“It’s actually a personal matter but I, uh, I think you can help me.” Spencer explained.

“Okay,” Angela agreed, confused, looking back to the table. “I’ll be back.” 

Spencer guided Angela to the games pod and sat on the couch as she pulled a chair up. 

“So what's up Spence?” 

He sighed hard, trying to figure out the best way to approach the topic. “It’s about Y/N..” He began, glancing up to Angela, “She’s just been kinda weird lately and unlike herself and it’s kinda worrying me, I guess.” 

Angela couldn’t help but laugh, she knew exactly why you were being weird. You had spent 2 hours on facetime last night expressing every emotion you’ve been feeling lately. She knew about your love predicament, granted, she tried to convince you that avoiding Spencer wasn’t going to help anything. 

“Why are- Why are you laughing?” Spencer questioned, laughing nervously. 

“You two are idiots, you guys seriously just need to fucking talk.” Angela reassured. “You didn’t do anything wrong if that's what you’re wondering. You know I love Y/N but she avoids issues like this so you gotta just, kinda, corner her? About it? If that makes any sense.”

“Thanks Ang,” Spencer began, mulling this information around in his head.

“Well if that’s all solved I’m going back to enjoy my,” she trails off, checking her apple watch and doing the math in her head, “14 minutes left of lunch.” 

Spencer laughed as she walked off, really hoping she was right and you weren’t upset at him. Feeling slightly better about the whole situation he finished his lunch at his desk, playing your music in his headphones, feeling more relaxed as he listened to your voice.

–

You pressed the ‘Go Live’ button on instagram, watching the notification go out and people rush in. You said hey and talked casually for a few minutes as more people joined. When there were a good few thousand you began.

“Alright, we all know why we’re here, you wanna talk about Espresso.” You started, remembering the smosh mouth episode you quickly added, “Just to preface I’m doing an exclusive smosh mouth episode that is coming out next week where I’ll be going more in depth and you’ll be able to ask me questions through a community tab on youtube! So if I don’t mention something, don't fret! There will be more answers. But for now, what do you wanna know?” You asked, opening the floor to questions. 

Hundreds flooded in, almost too fast for you to read any. Choosing a mild one you read, “How long have I been working on Espresso? Great question, I’d say about…. Eight? Months?” You estimated. 

–

The stream was easy if you ignored all comments about Spencer. A lot of people were respectful though, and asked you interesting questions about your career and the technical aspect of Espresso. You ended the stream after about 15 minutes, reminding everyone you’d be answering questions on smosh mouth and they’d be able to watch it next week. 

Since it was friday night you decided to treat yourself, you opened a bottle of wine and sipped on a glass while you waited for your postmates, you had ordered your favorite sushi take-out. You deserved it after the stressful week you’ve had post Espresso release.

You were lounging on your couch, casually playing animal crossing on your tv when you heard a knock on your door. You grabbed some cash to give an additional tip before opening the door with a “Thank you so much!”. Unfortunately, it was not the delivery driver but Spencer. He was standing in your doorway holding a bag from your favorite bakery. 

“Hey Y/N, can we, uh, can we talk?”

[thecapricunt1616]

Hello everyone! I am truly sorry for not posting as of late. I’ve been dealing with mental health stuff, also my laptop got broken :( So it hasn’t been as easy to write. I do have my iPad/wireless keyboard, but it just isn’t as comfortable to write on / I worry that the format will look like shit. I do feel poorly though because all of my moots have been writing a lot lately, and my blog has been so dry! I am really trying to get my mental health in check so obtaining a job will be easier and in turn, my work will probably be (somewhat) better. I hope this suffices, though, for the time being. I promise I’m trying to get a new laptop just as soon as I can <3 I appreciate all of your patience with me :) I have never written for our darling prince Lip Gallagher before- but he has been making me fairly crazy lately, so I wanted to give my go at writing for him, I haven’t watched the college Lip ep’s in a while so I hope it’s alright - sorry if it’s not fully canon! Tell me how I did if you’d like! xoxo - Capri <3 :)

(Warnings - smut choking (consensual) unprotected PIV sex, not very edited or proof read bc im tired ❤️❤️❤️)

”Hump my fuckin leg one more time, I swear to god. If you don’t just sit in my fuckin’ lap, and behave y’not gonna like me. I told you, I have 3 more fuckin’ papers to grade- like a cat in fuckin’ heat” he grumbled, not looking up from the homework assignment he’d been grading for the professor he’d been working under.

You pouted, squeezing his thigh that you had been straddling and working your way up to fully dragging your swollen, needy cunt across his worn out denim beneath your flower printed panties. A frustrated huff leaved your lips, before connecting them with the warm, tobacco scented skin of his neck and planting a gentle kiss. “Wanna feel good, Lip. Y’bein mean” you said, voice quiet and laced with the neediness he couldn’t quite ignore, or deny.

“Jesus fucking Christ. Fine, Need a smoke anyway. But you want it so bad, you can fuckin’ get y’self off” he walked over to the dorm window, pushing it open to let out the smoke out and put a cigarette to his lips, lighting it and plopping down on the bed, popping the button of his jeans. You were sat there dumbly, jaw dropped at the fact that he didn’t put up more of a fight. ”You have until the end of this fuckin smoke. You gonna come do somethin’ er sit there lookin’ like a goddamn trout?” He teased.

You quickly got up, pushing him to lay down and tugging his cock just enough out of his jeans and boxers, spitting in your hand before beginning to stroke him quickly, thumbing over his sensitive tip and he grunted softly, smoke plooming out of his nose as he plucked the cigarette from between his lips. “see that fuckin wet stain you left on my jeans? Such a needy whore f’me yeah?” He mused, watching as you pumped him faster, mouth dropping slightly as he hardened in the pressure of your palm until he was throbbing.

”Only yours -“ your jaw falls slack as you ran the tip of his cock through your wet folds, gathering your arousal and using his tip to rub over your clit. His eyes nearly rolled back, putting the cigarette between his lips and taking another large drag. He looked down as you rutted your hips back and forth over his thick now throbbing length.

“Only half a cig left, kitten. You gonna get y’self off with it er’ just fuck around, ‘eh?” He asked impatiently. You rolled your eyes sassily, aligning him with your entrance and sitting back, a whimper leaving your throat since you hadn’t the time to get yourself fully ready for him and the stretch he provided was never anything you could adjust to no matter how many times you took it.

A small grunt left his throat, hips rutting up into you subconsciously a gasp left your throat as he shifted his hips forward, rutting into that most sensitive and spongey spot inside of you that made white stars form behind your lids and your thighs shake. You whine as your head fell back, hips trembling as you lifted yourself up and down over his cock. “Jesus- so fucking big….” You manage to get out, bringing a trembling hand down to play with your puffy, throbbing clit.

”Finally feel good? Hm? Little fuckin’ brat. Shoulda fucked your face instead mm? Bet you’d love that shit” he reached over and put out his mostly gone cigarette on the ash tray and you began furiously rolling your hips, worried he was gonna pull you off and tell you that it was time for him too get back to work.

”Yes- yes daddy, such a brat- your brat. Please- please let me finish- feel so good- please” you rambled, voice needy and begging. He huffed a nearly mocking chuckle, grabbing you by the throat and pushing you down onto the mattress. It wasn’t painful, it just cut off your blood flow just right to where there was this sweet, fuzzy feeling in your head, causing your vision to go slightly hazy around the edges.

“I’ve created a fuckin monster - huh? Addicted t’my cock now. Can’t even go 12 hours without gettin’ filled up.” He was practically speaking into your sweaty, flushed skin of your temple, His voice a gruff row grumble. He used his other hand to rut up your tshirt, palming your tit roughly and rolling your nipple between his fingers. You squeaked out, hips jerking at the motion which urged him deeper and made your eyes roll at the overstimulation.

”shit - like that, huh? You like that? When I pound you this fuckin’ deep?” He snapped his hips faster, short, sweet little ah-ah-ah squeaks being torn from your throat with each nearly punishing thrust. You nod quickly, looking up at him in awe stricken lust as you clench around him.

“Ohh are you gonna cum? Is my little fuckin brat gonna cum? Mmm? You gonna cum around my cock?” He taunts in the shell of your ear, the hand that was playing with your nipple sliding down to play with your clit as the other stated wrapped firmly around your throat. Your hips jerk, feet planting on the bed as your back arches while your body tries to escape the oncoming tidal wave of pleasure that was threatening to take over.

“Mmhmm. Y’gonna cum- feel you fuckin’ milking my cock- go ahead baby - let go” he goads as he stroked your twitching bud faster. You let out something akin to a sob, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and breath hitching as your vision blurs out momentarily, body going slack other then your trembling thighs, and nails that were slapping and clawing at Lips back as he drives you through it, his thrusts becoming sloppier and harder at the feeling of you pulsating around him like a second heartbeat and your creamy white arousal seeping around him and covering his cock with each thrust.

“That’s fuckin it- that’s it kitten” he groaned, spreading out your pussy with a slack jaw, watching as his cock punched in and out of you, rutting against your g spot each and every time - in turn causing pathetic pleas for you weren’t sure what coming from your throat.

“Please what, baby- want me to fill you up? Hm? Need my cum drippin outta’ you after I fuck you to sleep here so I can finish my fuckin work in peace?” He coos mockingly, tugging you by your hair forcing you to look at him.

You sniffled, tears seeping from the corners of your eyes pathetically and drool dribbling down your chin from how he was fucking you so good your tongue had nearly fallen out of your mouth like some kind of puppy - “s-sorry- jus’love your- your cock” you hiccuped an over stimulated sob as he used his thumb abuse the nub further which in turn caused another strangled moan to leave your throat and head to fall back to the pillow.

“Awww I know Angel. You take it so well- like a good little toy” he mumbled into your skin, his words causing you to clench and dribble around him slightly, the raspiness of his voice mixed with the praise doing something to you you couldn’t quite explain.

“So good- so good daddy m’so good” you cry out as he fills you up, cock twitching and pulsing between your walls in the most delicious way. You gasped in delight, wrapping your legs tight around his hips and tugging your pelvis’ taut and comfortably, enjoying the feeling of being filled up to the hilt.

“Got shit t’do as much as I wanna live in your cunt, baby. Gotta get back at it” he kissed your forehead, grabbing a T shirt from his laundry pile and tossing it to you to clean yourself up as he fixed his jeans and went to sit back at his desk, leaving you well satiated

All be it a little sore and wanting post sex snuggles,

You win some, you lose some.

[kazumist]

3 hours, 27 minutes, and maybe around 2 seconds. no, miya atsumu is not going insane. what do you mean? he's perfectly calm. but with the amount of missed calls, ignored messages, and attention that he's been giving to the time right now, maybe—just maybe—he's losing his mind a bit.

he had no idea what he had done wrong to deserve this. of course, there was the possibility that you slept in since it is currently a sunny saturday after all, but between you and atsumu, he was the one who would usually sleep in until god knows when.

atsumu had made prior plans for the day. and that was to go out on a walk with you (a quick date to a café as well), go back to his place, and either play video games with you and osamu or watch some movies while cuddling. a perfect plan for a lazy saturday if he had to say so himself, if only he didn't fail at the first step: asking you out for the day.

well, technically, he didn't fail. it's just that you have been responsive as of now. atsumu is at least 90% sure that he did nothing wrong. when he walked you home yesterday, you were quite fine! you even gave him a quick peck on the cheek before going inside your home (that made atsumu actually go to bed while smiling like an idiot, but of course you don't need to know that).

it took him another 5 minutes of waiting before saying fuck it, and getting himself ready to check up on you himself. (actually, he made sure to stop by a convenience store first to buy a few snacks to bring you.)

the moment the door in front of him opened, he expected to see you. but the one who greeted him instead was none other than your younger sibling. "are you here for (y/n)?" your sibling asked him. "uhm. yeah, i am. they haven't been responding to me at all," he says.

"sick in bed, so they've been there ever since this morning."

oh, so that's why you haven't been responding to him.

"can i come in then?"

your sibling opened the door more and stepped aside, a sign of inviting him, which he gladly accepted. he started heading to your room, a plastic bag filled with snacks still in hand. he gently knocks on your door, waiting for a go signal to get in.

"yes mom, i already took my medicine!" he heard you say in a sick voice. from what he could tell so far, your nose was probably clogged right now, which was why your voice sounded a bit different than before.

"i didn't know i was your mom now." atsumu chuckles.

"tsumu?"

"the one and only, baby."

"you can come in." your boyfriend gladly opens the door and waltzes into your room. however, he didn't expect you to be so wrapped in your blankets. "sorry about earlier. mom has been nagging me a bit about my medicine."

atsumu places the plastic bag on your desk nearby. "i tried reaching out to you everywhere, but you weren't responding, so i got worried and decided to check up on you," he says, proceeding to sit on the edge of your bed. you pull up the blanket on you, covering half of your face. "sorry about that, my phone died on me last night. it hurts me to move around right now, so i haven't plugged it in." 

"it's alright; you shouldn't move around that much anyway," atsumu replies before getting up and plugging your phone in right after. he was about to go closer until you stopped him. "wait! don't come closer."

"what? baby, why?"

"i might get you sick as well if you do," you pout.

he chuckles at your words: "my immune system is pretty strong, you know?"

"but still…"

"baby, it's fine." he kisses your forehead. "i got you some snacks, by the way, but with you being sick right now, i don't think you can eat 'em."

"awe.. just one bite?"

now, don't look at him that way. not when you both know he's weak to that pleading look on your face, especially with those pouty lips that he'd love to kiss right now if you weren't having a burning fever at the moment.

"fine… just one."

yet one turned into two, two turned into three, and so on!

if there's one thing that could make miya atsumu weak in the knees, it's you.

(by the time your boyfriend got home, he was sneezing, and when the time came, it was your turn to take care of him now.)

a/n: i dont like this one bit tbh... i also forgot to change the you and your to ya and yer 😭 probably ooc atsumu but this is just pure word vom 🧍‍♀️

[five-rivers]

Loving the foray back into Generator Rex stuff. I was obsessed with that show but honestly don't remember much that happened after Cesar showed up for the first time. I just remember being really upset that Six never got his memories back. Like SURE he accepts Rex's role in his life but the EXPERIENCES are gone from his memory now. That hurts.

It does. 😭

This isn't quite on topic, but this also gave me an idea for a little snippet. <3

.

Rex drummed his fingers against the leather cover of his journal, thinking.  It had been most of a year since he'd started writing in it, updating it whenever he could.  It was full of thoughts, feelings, speculation, copies of the incident reports White sometimes made him write out, memories from before he'd gotten the journal, summaries of training, dreams, rambling about friends, enemies, and fights, anything and everything that came to mind when he had a spare half hour a pen or a pencil, or when Holiday got on an education kick and wanted him to practice grammar or spelling or something.  

It was only half full.  Rex didn't have a whole lot of spare half hours.  He tried, though.  His interest in filling the journal up was backed at least partially by fear.  There was a lot that he really, desperately, wanted to know about himself, if he ever forgot again.  There was a lot he wanted to know about the people around him.  

There was a lot in the little book about White, Noah, Bobo, and Holiday.  

There was a lot about Six.  

Six, who had just forgotten everything himself.  

Six, who had given him the journal in the first place.  

Six, who had only lost his memory because Rex had been so impatient to test Caesar's machine.  

Okay, he knew that wasn't completely accurate, and he was hardly wallowing in guilt, or whatever.  If anything, he'd blame Caesar's invention skills and Six's weird propensity for stabbing machines instead of, like, going after something "upstream," or unplugging them.  

Rex could do a lot of things with machines, but lack of power was a stumbling block even for him.  

But, point was, Rex was delaying.  It should be easy to give this to Six.  To give him something about what he'd lost.  Rex owed him that much.  But the journal was so personal…  Rex hadn't written it expecting anyone else to ever read it.  Not even Six.  

It was hard.  

This whole thing was hard.  

(It wasn't fair.  Forgetting sucked.  Being forgotten sucked.  It all sucked.  He had a lot more sympathy for Caesar, now.)

He took a deep breath.  He wanted to give this to Six.  He wanted to share these memories with him.  He didn't want to be the only one who knew these things.  He didn't want to be the only one who remembered.  

Not when he might forget at any moment.  

He really wished Caesar's machine had worked.  Either time. 

He stood up and opened the door, journal still in his hand.  He second-guessed himself all the way to the lab, where Six was getting another check up, courtesy of Holiday.  

"Hey, um, what's up?" asked Rex, still not quite ready to make a decision.  

"My blood pressure, apparently," said Six, putting his glasses back on.  "I don't understand how this is more stressful than killing people for money."

"It isn't about stress," said Holiday, rolling her eyes.  "You're just six years older.  Bodies change.  What about you, Rex?  On the way to the Petting Zoo?  Or just checking in?"

"Uh," said Rex.  "Yeah.  The Petting Zoo."

"I still don't understand why it's called that," grumbled Six.  

"It's ironic," explained Holiday.  

"Anyway!" said Rex, loudly.  He walked up to Six and shoved the journal at him.  "I'm lending this to you.  I want it back by the end of the week, okay?  Don't let White see it, it's private."  One of the very few private things he had, actually.  Maybe that's why he was so scared.  "Okay!  Thanks!  Gotta go!  Bye!"

He ran.

.

Six drummed his fingers against the leather cover of the journal, thinking.  Long plane rides, even on jump jets, gave you a lot of time to think.  

It had been nearly seven months since Rex had given it to him.  Six since Rex had disappeared in that fight with Breach.  

It was high time he gave it back to him.  Even if he had to go through Providence to do it.  

[queenofhyruleee]

Knight in Shining Armor Chapter 3

hehe thank you so much for all of the likes and support :) I can't believe people are actually enjoying the ideas that come from my brain!!! hopefully you enjoy this chapter!

When you heard a knock on the door the next day, a day when the shop was closed, your heart leapt. Was it Link again? Master Shido had told you that he was most likely going to be gone for a fortnight at the earliest, so you knew it wasn’t him.

You intentionally ignored the butterflies in your stomach as you jumped out of bed and rushed down to answer the door. Before opening it, you paused and took a second to fix your hair and straighten out your rumpled clothes. 

What am I doing? Stop being ridiculous. 

Taking a deep breath, you opened the door and prepared to say hello to your friend. 

“Hello, beautiful.” 

Your face faltered, the smile on your lips dropping as you looked up at Elis. He was holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers, but for some reason it didn’t excite you as much as it might have had previously. Instead, the feelings of anger and sadness began to build up once more. 

He didn’t even wait for you to invite him in before he stepped inside, slightly pushing you out of the way as he did so. “I wanted to come see you and apologize for missing last night.” 

You turned back to him after closing the door, an unamused look on your face. “You could have at least given me a heads up before I sat at Telma’s for two hours looking like an absolute idiot. Again.” 

He gave you a guilty smile. “I’m sorry, honey pie. Something came up with my father’s job and he needed my help to get it all sorted out. I couldn’t get away to come find you.” 

You raised your eyebrow, secretly questioning the validity of his story. That isn’t the first time he’s come up with almost that exact excuse. 

“Your father has been having quite a lot of problems lately, it seems. Hopefully everything is okay with his business.” You sounded a bit more snarky than you intended, but you couldn’t help it. 

“Well anyways!” He waved his hand in the air, clearly trying to move on from the topic, “I wanted to take you out. I thought maybe we could have lunch by the river today.” He wiggled his eyebrows, clearly trying to entice you with his offer. 

You chewed on your bottom lip, considering his offer. He had apologized, brought flowers, and was trying to make it up to you. Being angry was exhausting. So even though you weren’t feeling completely won over, you decided that it was easier to just move on. Giving him a half-hearted smile, you nodded. “Yeah, okay. That sounds nice.” 

“Great! It’s a beautiful day out, perfect for a picnic.” He did seem genuinely excited, which made the dark cloud surrounding your heart lift ever-so-slightly. 

You eyed his empty hands. “Did you already set it up? Is the food there waiting for us?” 

He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, about that.. I don’t have any money at the moment, so I wasn’t able to get any food on my way here. Got anything good?” Before you could even answer, he headed up the stairs, the floorboards creaking as he made his way into the kitchen. You sighed and followed him. 

When you walked in, he was already raiding the cupboards. You walked him next to him, and looked up suspiciously. 

“Your dad didn’t pay you for your help yesterday?” 

“Hm? What help?” He said absentmindedly, not even pausing his rummaging to look at you. 

You crossed your arms. “The work. Yesterday. Why you stood me up.” 

That seemed to set off a bell in his head, and he immediately froze for a moment before turning to you. “No, he didn’t pay me. Downside of being his son, I guess. Free labor is cheap labor!” 

You couldn’t help but feel like there was something he wasn’t telling you. But you didn’t have the energy to press for more information, so you reluctantly accepted his explanation. 

The feeling only persisted though as you walked through Castle Town, a basket of sandwiches (that you made) ready to go. You couldn’t help but notice that Elis kept glancing around, almost nervously, as if he were on the lookout for someone. At one point, he even insisted that you not stop at a fruit stall to pick up some enticing looking apples. When you expressed your annoyance, he had only given you a sheepish smile and said that he was “just so hungry!” 

He didn’t seem to relax until you reached the river, where he led you to a cozy spot right on the bank… that was conveniently hidden away from the rest of the world by a row of thick bushes and trees. 

“Okay, what’s the deal?” You asked, unable to hold it back any longer. He looked up from where he was sitting on the ground, busy grabbing a sandwich from the basket. 

“What do you mean?” 

You crossed your arms and huffed. “Are you ashamed to be seen with me or something? You refuse to let me stop, you keep looking over your shoulder every few seconds, and the only living creatures who can see us in this spot are the fish. Why are you acting like this?” You were so angry at yourself when your voice cracked on the last word, and your eyes began to fill with tears. 

Panicking, Elis jumped up and took your hands in his. “No, no, no. Honey pie. Absolutely not!” 

You glared at him through your tears, and he seemed flustered as he continued. “The truth is… my father and I had to make some tough decisions to deal with the problem yesterday, and in the process we made quite a few people angry. I’m just.. being careful.” 

Immediately, you stood up straight and your eyes widened. “Do you think people would try to hurt you?” 

He sighed and shrugged, shaking his head slowly. “Possibly, honey pie. But that’s the way that it is I guess. But don’t worry,” his face changed and he beamed down at you, “I would never let them stop me from spending time with you.” To emphasize his point, he poked you gently on the tip of your nose. 

Your anger and suspicion melted away into a feeling of guilt. You had been so quick to think the worst about him and what he had been doing. Sure, he stood you up but it sounded like he had a good reason and it wasn’t fair to hold that against him. 

You gave him a smile, a genuine one this time, and let him guide you down to the ground where the food was waiting. You pushed any negative feelings you were still having out of your head, and attempted to forgive and forget. 

The lunch went a lot better than you were expecting. Elis dropped all of the weird behavior, and you felt like he was actually going above and beyond to be affectionate and make you feel loved. The two of you spent a good chunk of the afternoon lounging by the calm river, telling stories and enjoying the feeling of the sun on your skin. 

Eventually, it was time to head back to town. As you approached the bridge leading to the entrance of Castle Town, you felt significantly more content and comfortable than you had on the way out. So much so, that you decided to reach out and grab Elis’ hand. He jumped, surprised at the contact, and pulled his hand away quickly. 

You tried not to look as hurt as you felt, and you immediately felt that suspicion flood back into your gut. He gave you a sheepish smile. 

“Sorry, honey pie. My hands are super sweaty right now.” 

You narrowed your eyes and opened your mouth to say something, but the sound of loud hoof beats drew your attention away. Looking over your shoulder at the entrance of the city, you watched as a small party of soldiers dressed in their armor rode atop powerful horses and out of Castle Town. 

What immediately caught your eye, however, was the flash of familiar blonde hair towards the front of the group. Even from a distance, piercing blue eyes seemed to immediately meet yours, and before you realized what you were doing, you were sprinting towards the commotion. He seemed to understand what you were doing and, after shouting something to the soldiers around him who nodded and kept riding, Link peeled away from the group and began making his way over to you. 

It only took a few moments for him to meet you, and you watched in awe as he gracefully slid off his horse in a fluid motion that made it look way too easy. You rushed up to him, but noticed that his eyes were not focused on you. Rather, they were staring hard at something behind you. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Elis walking up, looking equally as unamused. 

You turned back to Link, and his eyes dragged away from the man behind you and back to your face. 

“What’s going on? Has something happened?” Lately it wasn’t often that Link was out running business that didn’t have to do with the Princess. He was in the Royal Guard after all, so his job was mostly confined to doing.. Royal Guard things. 

Link ran a hand through his hair, which he hadn’t bothered to tie up so it fell messy and windswept around his face. 

“Someone reported a group of monsters wandering around the north of Faron Province.” After seeing the look of fear that filled your face, he held out his hands in reassurance. “Not the ones like before. Just some Bokoblins.” 

That eased your anxiety, but not by much. “But still - monsters? It’s been awhile since anyone has seen any as far as I know. They mostly stay confined to the forest, right? Why are they appearing now?” 

“I’m not sure. That’s why I’m joining the crew dispatched to take care of them. I want to do some investigating and see if anything unusual is going on, or if these ones just happened to stray too far from home.”

You felt Elis’ presence as he caught up to you and took a place by your side. “Is Hyrule’s favorite pretty boy off to save us once again?” His voice was anything but friendly. You whipped your head over to glare at him before turning back to your friend and giving him an apologetic look. Link chose to ignore the snide comment, but you could see the muscles in his jaw flexing as he clenched his teeth together in what you could only assume was annoyance. 

“Anyways,” he was straining to keep his tone calm and neutral, “I recommend heading back to the city. Nothing has been reported in this area, but the guards are going to close the gates this evening just to be careful. Once I get back and can report my findings, we’ll go from there.” 

“Oh boy, whatever would we do without you, Sir Link?” The sarcasm was dripping from Elis’ voice. You whipped your head over again, completely thrown off by how he was acting. Why was he being so nasty? 

Link said nothing, but this time stared the other man down with a look that had faced monsters more powerful than anything you could ever imagine. You shuddered, thinking that Elis could not be comfortable being on the receiving end of such a glare. And you could tell you were at least partially correct, if the nervous shifting happening next to you was any indicator. 

He tore his glare away from Elis and glanced over his shoulder. “I need to head out.” The look he gave you when his gaze once again met yours was much softer. “Promise me you’ll head back home?” 

Your mind immediately flashed back to the night before. 

“Please just think about what I said.” 

“Promise?” 

His eyes were filled with the same intensity as they had been then, making your heart flutter. Thinking about the previous also brought back the memory of his hand gently brushing the back of your neck, and the feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around you. 

You suddenly realized that Link was so concerned about your safety, but the safest place you’ve ever felt was with him. And he would be going right into the danger. 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. We promise.” Elis’ snarky voice brought you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even have time to reply to Link before he nodded firmly and turned around. 

Before he could take a step, you reached out and grabbed his wrist. He paused and looked over his shoulder at you. 

“Be safe, please?” 

It wasn’t supposed to be a question, but you were suddenly so filled with worry that your voice squeaked slightly and made it sound like one. 

You knew it was silly. He was the Hero of Hyrule for crying out loud. He had faced dangers a hundred times more powerful than a group of Bokoblins. But you couldn’t help the anxiety that was gnawing at your stomach as you thought about him rushing off to take care of them. 

A boyish grin lit up Link’s face and he almost laughed. “Of course. Always am.” 

But the worry didn’t disappear from your face. It was almost frustrating how concerned he had been for your safety, but when it came to his own, he was so nonchalant.

“Promise?” 

It was your turn to ask, and there seemed to be something powerful about that one word. Something unspoken between you and the hero before you. He seemed to feel it too, and his grin slowly faded. His expression softened, and his eyes widened. His lips parted slightly, and you could swear that his cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink - but that could have been just a trick of the light. 

“I promise.” His voice was soft, but reassuring. You could tell that he was being honest and that he took your concern seriously. 

“Good.” You gave his wrist a gentle squeeze, and then dropped it. He held your gaze silently for just a few moments longer, his expression unreadable, before he turned quickly and mounted his horse almost as fluidly as he had dismounted. 

He gave you one last soft smile, and nodded his head in goodbye. You waved as he clicked his tongue loudly, digging his heels into the horse. There was a loud snort and it reacted almost immediately, taking off in a slow trot that Link quickly escalated into a canter, and then a gallop. You watched as he rode off, and continued to watch until he became just a small speck in the distance. 

A scoff behind you got your attention. You turned around and faced a very unhappy looking Elis. 

“What the fuck was all that?” His tone was accusatory and rude. You immediately went on the defense. 

“What?” 

“You may as well have just stripped right here and offered yourself up to fuck him.”

Your jaw dropped, completely surprised. Anger boiled inside of you, and your face turned red with emotion. “Where do you find it?” 

“Find what?” He sounded fed up. 

“The audacity!” You threw your hands up in the air, unable to keep your voice calm. 

He rolled his eyes. “Oh please. Where do I find the audacity? You’re the one over here practically throwing yourself at another man while your boyfriend stands back and watches.” 

“He is my friend and I care about him. Excuse me for being a decent person?” 

He put his hands up to his face and widened his eyes in a dramatic display of worry. When he spoke, his voice was high pitched and fake. He was obviously mocking you. “Oh Link, promise me you’ll be safe! Then when you get back please come find me and I can spend the night riding your co-”

You refused to listen any longer. You turned and started walking as fast as you could towards the Castle Town entrance. You needed to get away from Elis before you said something you would regret. Though you didn’t think there were a lot of things you would regret saying right now. 

“Where are you going?” He shouted after you. You just ignored him and kept going, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. 

“Whatever. Have fun whoring around!” 

That did it. You spun around, shaking from the anger. His temper was nothing new to you, and he never worked to hide his dislike of Link. But this was too much. He had never resorted to such filthy name-calling before. 

“Why are you like this? I do nothing wrong and in turn all I get is being treated like dirt!” 

His laugh was short and cruel. “Treat you like dirt? Yeah, okay. We both know I’m the best someone like you is ever going to get.” 

It was something that you had thought to yourself plenty of times, but hearing him say it out loud - and hearing him use it as something to hold over your head - really cut deep. You had no control over the sudden sob that wracked your body, the tears following suit. With nothing else left to say, you turned back around and ran the rest of the way to Castle Town. 

Elis did not call out or follow you. 

You spent the rest of the day cocooned in your bed, the curtains pulled shut and the blanket wrapped tight around you. You cried until you felt like there was no way you could possibly produce any more tears, and then you cried some more. 

You couldn’t understand why Elis had to be so nasty to you. There was nothing wrong with showing concern for your close friend that was going to be riding right into danger for the first time in who knows how long. Yes he was a hero, but it had been a moment since he had to do any real fighting. What if he had gotten rusty? 

You would feel the same way if Elis was the one going to fight monsters. Right? Wouldn’t you? 

It was even more frustrating that his behavior had gotten so bad after what had been objectively a pretty good day. Considering the fact that he was supposed to be making up for standing you up the night before. 

It just felt like that, with Elis, it was always one step forward, and two steps back. For every good day you had with him, there were two bad ones where his attitude ruined it. You would say something wrong without even realizing it, and next thing you knew you would be getting lectured about how inconsiderate you are. 

Is this how it was supposed to be? Is this what love was supposed to be like? 

Deep down, you knew that it was not. You knew that love did not look like not following through on your promises. Not following through on your commitments. Not taking the time to talk through your emotions instead of just blowing up. Not caring about the way your actions made them feel. 

No, that wasn’t love. Maybe, you realized with a pang of sadness, that you had no idea what love was supposed to feel like after all. 

But if you had to guess, you would think that love is much different. That it was bringing them food after they’ve had a long day. Making sure they’re taking care of themselves instead of running themselves down taking care of others. Cheering them up when they’re feeling sad. Making them laugh effortlessly. Genuinely worrying about their happiness and doing whatever it takes to make them feel it. 

But Elis was right. He was the best you could hope to get. You knew it was true, but it still hurt to accept. Did Elis love you? Would he ever love you? 

All the while, Link’s words from the previous night kept floating around the back of your head like a persistent mosquito that kept coming back no matter how many times you swatted it away. 

“You need to realize that you are also deserving. To accept anything less would just be cheating yourself. 

You shook your head. “You’re wrong,” you whispered out loud to yourself. “I’m not deserving.” 

There was a sudden pounding on your door, and you nearly levitated off of the bed with fright. The pounding was loud and persistent. You nearly got up to go answer the door, but then remembered the monsters that Link was currently out fighting. Were there more? Was it them pounding on the door? Monsters didn’t typically knock before entering but hey - there was a first for everything. 

But soon, a voice accompanied the thuds. The fear was immediately replaced by annoyance. 

“Please, I’m sorry!” 

You got out of bed and walked carefully to the edge of the stairs. You knew that there was no way he’d be able to hear the creaking of the floorboards, but you wanted to stay silent regardless. 

“Honey pie, I didn’t mean what I said. I was just angry! You know how I get when you make me angry, I can’t help it! Please, let me in. Can we talk?” 

Despite your anger, you felt conflicted. Part of you wanted to scream at him to leave you alone, and the other part wanted to open the door. Because surely he had a good explanation for his behavior. 

But before you could make your decision, he made it for you. 

“Alright. Whatever. I don’t give a fuck.” 

And then silence. 

Your heart beating quickly, you crept downstairs, careful to stay in the shadows in case anyone was looking through the window. You pressed your ear up to the door but were met with silence. He was gone. 

Letting out a shaky sigh, you pressed your back up to the door and slid down, resting your head against the hard wood. 

Why was this all happening? It felt like everything in your life was just constantly fighting you. Happiness seemed to be just outside your reach, taunting you but never making its way into your waiting hands. 

You sat there for so long your butt became numb. But you couldn’t find the energy to get up and move back upstairs. So the floor it was. 

But despite the emotional exhaustion you felt, your mind still raced a million miles a minute. Some of it was about your relationship and the behavior of Elis, but as the night continued and you heard the loud bell from the clocktower signaling the shutting of the city gates for the night (something that hadn’t happened since Link had gotten rid of most of the monsters and pushed the rest back into the woods), you found yourself becoming increasingly worried for your friend outside. 

Faron Province wasn’t too far of a ride from Castle Town, so if all went well, Link and his team had no reason to be gone for too long. And you weren’t sure how you would know when he returned, but the stress of not knowing was starting to eat you up. You finally stood up and began to pace the shop, the worst scenarios running through your head. 

Another hour ticked by, and you felt so overwhelmed that you knew you needed to leave. A walk would help clear your head, so you decided to pay Telma a visit. Surely her bar was nice and crowded right now, with the residents of Castle Town being cooped up in the city for the night. 

The cool night air was a welcome feeling on your heated face. It seemed to help your mind slow down and clear up, and you no longer felt like you were going to crawl out of your own skin with anxiety and worry. 

You were halfway to Telma’s when you heard something that instantly made you freeze. 

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” 

You knew that voice. That was Elis’ voice. 

It was coming from around the corner, down a small alleyway, where the speaker was hidden from view. You used this to your advantage and crept up as close as you could without revealing yourself to listen. 

“You promised you were going to take me out today.” A girl’s voice whined. One that you didn’t recognize.

“I know, I know. Something came up today with my father’s work this morning and I had to help him out.” 

You swore that your heart actually stopped in your chest. That sounded way too familiar. 

”But I missed you.” 

“I missed you too. But I’m here now.” 

Your mind began swimming, the blood rushing in your ears loudly as you realized what was going - he was cheating on you. 

That fucker. That absolute ass. 

“You know I love you baby.” 

“Yeah, I know..” 

“Let me make it up to you somehow.” 

There was a soft giggle, followed by soft smacking noises that sounded too similar to lips pressing up against each other. You waited until you heard the first soft moan before you couldn’t take it anymore and walked out from your hiding spot. 

His back was turned to you, not that he would have seen you anyways with his face buried in her neck. The girl’s head was thrown back, her eyes closed but pleasure written all over her face. He had her pushed up against the wall, and one of her legs was hoisted up around his waist. Her hands gripped his hair tightly, holding him in place as he kissed up and down her neck. 

The sight made you feel nauseous and part of you worried that you were going to throw up right there. But you held strong, and managed to stand tall. 

You cleared your throat, and the girl’s eyes opened. Right away her eyes widened and she immediately pushed an unaware Elis off of her as quickly as she could. 

“Baby, what’s wrong? Why-” He followed her point in your direction, and spun around. His eyes met yours, and it was almost funny how you could see the color absolutely drain from his face. 

You ignored him though, and looked at the girl. “Just so you know, he was with me today. We were at the river having a romantic picnic on the shore. It’s funny though,” and you tapped your chin for dramatic effect, looking back at Elis, “you told me today that the reason you stood me up last night was because something came up with your father and you had to help him out.. Geez, he really does seem to be having a lot of problems lately, doesn’t he?” 

The girl’s mouth opened slightly, a look of anger flashing on her face. Whether it was geared towards you or Elis, you weren’t sure. But you quickly learned as she took a step towards you and put her hands on her hips. 

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Her voice was snarky and rude, and she sounded anything but sorry. You tried to remind yourself that maybe she had no idea that he was in a relationship, so of course a random girl trying to cause a scene could look bad. 

“I’m his girlfriend. We’ve been dating for almost a year now.” As you said that, reality seemed to smack her in the face. Her hands dropped from her hips, and she looked almost lost as she turned back to Elis, who was standing there frozen, like he had no idea how to handle the situation unfolding before him. 

“Let me take a wild guess - last night you were with her, not your father.” 

He didn’t answer, because the girl answered for him. “Yeah.. he was with me all day yesterday.” 

Hearing it - the truth - stung. It probably hurt worse than watching him kiss her. You weren’t sure what to say, and tears began to well up in your eyes as you nodded your head slowly. 

“Look, I can explain.” Elis took a step towards you, his arm out. You stepped back quickly, a look of disgust on your face. 

“I don’t want to hear it,” you scoffed. “You’ve yelled at me so many times, accused me of cheating so many times. You called me a whore just today! And this whole time I have been nothing but faithful to you. I should have known you were just projecting your own shitty behavior onto me.” 

He shook his head, his eyes looking pleading and desperate. “I’m sorry, honey pie. I swear I never meant for anything to happen. It just hurt me so bad to see how much you care about that stupid hero.” 

“Link? Don’t bring him into this! He has absolutely nothing to do with this.” 

Elis’ panicked look dropped then, turning into a cool, almost cruel, look. You were almost taken aback at how quickly his expression changed. “Really? Nothing to do with this? He’s the whole reason any of this happened in the first place. This is his fault, and yours.” 

You couldn’t believe it. He was cheating, and trying to blame you for it? “I.. what?”

“I knew it was only a matter of time until he finally managed to convince you to sleep with him. He walks around, toting himself as some big, mighty hero, used to getting whatever it is that he asks for.” 

A new wave of anger washed over you, now feeling incredibly protective of your friend. “You know nothing about him,” you sneered. Elis rolled his eyes.

“Oh please. He’s a guy. And he’s a guy with fame and fortune. We’re all the same.”

You shook your head. “You know what? I think you’re just jealous. Link is kind and considerate, and I think you’re scared that once I realize I deserve to be treated better than the way you treat me, I’ll walk away.” 

He almost seemed to flinch, and you knew your words likely hit home. The panic appeared on his face once more. 

“Just choose me.” 

“What?” 

He took a step forward. “Choose me. Promise me that you’ll stop talking to Link, and I swear that I’ll be better.” 

“Promise?”

You realized something then, as Elis looked at you with begging eyes.

 When Link asked you that question, he was asking in your best interest. When Elis asked, he was asking in his. 

The pathetic thing is, a small part of your brain was willing to go along with what he was saying. To cut off Link and continue the relationship that would probably only continue to cause you pain. Painful, yes, but at least you knew what to expect. And that was partly better than the fear of the unknown. 

But the promise you had made to Link the night before echoed loudly in your brain. You had promised him that you would consider what he had told you. That you deserved better. 

And you decided that you weren’t going to break any promises to the one person who actually cared about you. 

You crossed your arms, your face becoming hard. “Asking me to pick between you and Link is like asking me to choose if I’d rather go for a stroll through Hyrule Field or throw myself into the fiery pits of Death Mountain. I’m going to choose what’s best for me. Every single time.” 

You finally turned back to the girl, who was standing silently, watching the scene unfold before her with wide eyes. “He’s all yours. Have fun.” 

And with that, you turned and walked out of the alley. 

You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you hurt this time, so you forced yourself to walk calmly and slowly through the town, even if your head and heart were anything but. You weren’t sure if you wanted to throw up, cry, breath something, or scream until you lost your voice. The feelings were overwhelming, and your brain could hardly begin processing everything that had happened. 

You felt yourself reaching the tipping point just as you turned the corner to the street where your shop stood. But you had no time to celebrate finally being able to release your emotions, because you immediately noticed a small crowd that had gathered at your door. 

In the dark, it was hard to make out exactly who was standing there, huddled up together in front of the shop. But then, someone turned and saw you, and they rushed out of the shadow of the store and into the moonlight. It was Telma. 

Her face was filled with worry, but upon meeting your eyes, you could see some relief come flooding back into it. “Oh thank Goddesses, you’re here.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Telma? What’s going on? Who are all of these people?” 

Behind Telma, a tall, widely-built figure also stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight. Your heart dropped as you noticed that he was carrying something large in his arms - a limp body. A limp body with a mop of messy blonde hair glowing softly even in the dark. 

Telma looked back at the man, then back at you, the worry filling her eyes once more. 

“It’s Link. He’s been hurt.” 

[jinxtoyerekko]

Best friend!Argyle x male!reader x Eddie

Warning(s): weed use, threesome, makeout, hickeys, hinting of Argyle fucking you (wink wonk),

Summary: A magical encounter where your best friend fucks you in front of your crush w/o realizing that you're in love with that guy. And suddenly HE joined the two of you. (Not gonna write full smut, tho bc I'm too tired for this)

✨️MINORS DNIIIIII✨️

Feel free to request:

--------------------

You raised your eyebrow at Argyle before crossing your arms lightly. "So... he's buying from you to test yours and you're buying from him to test his? That... sounds stupid but also smart."

Your statement made Argyle laugh his usual, goofy laugh as he nodded softly. "Yeah, well, it's not exactly buying since he rolled one for me, I rolled one for him, and we're basically just exchanging them."

You scoffed as you sat back in the van seat. "And I have to be there without getting anything? Rude."

That, theoretically, was a wrong statement in several ways.

One, you were quite happy to come along. Argyle was basically your safe place and you'd never complain about being with him.

Two, he'd share with you either way. He cherishes you more than himself, and that surely has to mean something. If it put a smile on your dlface, he'd give you wvery bit of weed he has for free.

Three, you got a chance to see your crush and even speak to him. There was no way you'd ever miss out on a chance like that... even if you were really fucking shy and would probably only stand in the back whole they talk.

Argyle leaned over to pat your shoulder lightly. "Don't worry, my dude. You know, I'll always share with you if you really want somd."

You chuckled and nodded softly. "I know, and I appreciate that."

Your eyes glanced over st Argyle for a small moment. You weren't in love with him, no way. Your full heart belonged to Eddie, but considering that you felt you had no chance either him anyway, you would totally have sex with Argyle, just to see what happens.

Though, thinking about it now, you weren't even sure if you could take him. You were half his size and a virgin. Chances were low that you could handle him. You'd never seen him naked before, but you were damn sure he was packing and not just a little.

You sighed as your eyes closed and a picture flicked into your mind. A picture that had your face growing a deep shade of red and had you closing your legs in fear of an unwanted boner appearing. Though, to your luck, it didn't.

Once you were at the trailer park, you were the first to jump out of the van, pacing around nervously while Argyle got his stuff out, in case Eddie would want more later on.

Once both of you were ready, you grabbed your denim jacket from the van so Argyle could close it before walking after him, towards Eddies trailer.

You asked Argyle to wait for a moment, so you could mentally prepare, but once you were ready, you allowed him to finally knock on the door.

A few sounds of someone falling and a soft "shit" were audible from within the trailer before the door opened. Saying your mouth went dry was what you saw was a mega understatement.

Before you stood Eddie, shirtless. S H I R T L E S S. His pale, bare chest being in direct sight for you.

You swallowed hard as Eddie chuckled and apologized before letting the two of you in. The first thing you noticed was a bunch of CDs spread all over the floor.

"Ignore those.", Eddie mumbled nervously. "I kinda ran into the counter and knocked them all over."

Argyle listened to the request, but seeing them step over the CDs made you feel all weird, so you just crouched down to pick them up.

You placed them back on the counter just to see Eddie staring at you when you looked up again. He gave you a small smile before he disappeared into the next part of the trailer.

Argyle followed close behind Eddie, and you didn't let them wait long either. Your eyes scanned the room slowly.

It wasn't really dirty, but neither was it very clean. It was just... like a teenagers room was. Messy in a organized way.

Your eyes fell onto a stack of magazines on the floor. The top one had a woman on it, who only wore very short clothing. You looked away quickly since seeing it somehow made your heart ache.

You took in a deep breath to relax but stopped mid-inhale as you took in the scent of Eddies room. Of Eddie.

Argyle lightly nudged your arm, which made you looked up at him before you looked at Eddie, who now had a shirt on. "Huh? Did you talk to me?"

Eddie laughed wholeheartedly before nodding lightly. "Yes, indeed." He sat down on his bed. "I asked if you'll be smoking too and if you prefer Argyles or mine."

You gulped softly, unsure of what to say. On one hand, you didn't want to sound rude, but on the other hand, sharing a joint with Eddie sounded great.

Argyle put an arm around your shoulder gently and pointed his finger at your arm. "He's used to my weed so, to ensure he doesn't die, I'd say he smokes with you. Yknow, in case yours is stronger."

Your face turned a deep shade of red. You were actually about to share a joint with Eddie Munson, your crush for the past few months.

Eddie nodded and picked up the joint he'd made for Argyle, holding it to him. "Here ya go."

Your best friend grinned and took the joint just to replace it with the one he'd rolled himself. "Thanks, dude."

Argyle sat on the bed as well, both him and Eddie now leaning against the wall. The only problem was, he'd barely left enough space for you, which meant you wither had to squeeze up against Eddie or Argyle, and you knew damn well Argyle wanted you to squeeze up to Eddie.

Eddie pat the spot between them with a grin. "Sit, boy. Or you won't get any weed."

Your stomach twisted as you got onto the bed and sat between them, pulling your legs up against your chest with trembling hands.

You watched as Eddies lips settled around the filter of the joint and lit it, just to take the first few drags from it. Your throat dried out as your eyes focussed on his lips.

You were so focussed on the males lips that you didn't notice him grabbing your foot and straightening your legs. "Get comfortable, dude. No time to be tense here."

Your second leg followed suit as you received the joint in your trembling hands, taking a few drags. Finally, after a few minutes of passing it back and forth had passed, you felt yourself relaxing against the wall.

Eddies hand still hadn't left your leg, but you doubted that he had even noticed that, and you definitely weren't going to complain about him touching you.

You closed your eyes for a moment until you felt Eddies hand leave your leg as he stood up. "I'll be right back."

He handed the joint to you so you could finish it, which you did before squeezing it out in the ashtray, Argyle not taking much longer.

Said male soon leaned on you and put his arms around you. You found it funny how clingy he got when he was high. It wasn't always like this, but when it was, you loved it.

Your body reacted immediately when you felt Argyles lips on your cheek and jaw. You reached up to put your hand behind his head as you leaned against him.

"Your lips are so damn soft.", you said quietly and smiled when he attached himself to your neck, sucking soft kisses onto it and leaving small marks on it.

You slipped onto your back, and he crawled on top of you, leaving small kisses all over your neck. His hand slipped under your shirt and caressed your chest gently before placing his thumb on your nipple and circling it gently.

You gasped and ached your back gently as your legs tried to close, couldn't, though, because his legs were in the way.

Eventually, your shirt was off fully, and he was sucking softly on your sensitive skin. "Shit~ oh my god~", you moaned softly as your hands moved to his hair.

You flinched lightly when Eddie came back into the room, making Argyle pause for a moment.

You hid your face because, as high as you were, you couldn't help being shy and nervous about it. Argyle didn't really seem to care, though.

Your voice went high-pitched as you whined thanks to Argyle asking Eddie if he'd like to join. It happened again when Eddie agreed to join and got onto the bed.

You looked away from your best friend and your long-term crush as you were pulled up so Eddie could get behind you with ease.

His hands wrapped around your waist and rested on your lower belly while Argyle settled you into his arms before going right back to placing hickeys all over you.

Not even two minutes later, your shirt was off, and your pants had joined it on the floor. You started to feel something, but nothing good for that matter.

Your stomach twisted, reminding you how horribly insecure you were. You tried to cover yourself as you closed your eyes lightly, not allowing the two to go further.

Both stopped immediately, and the first to speak up was Eddie, pulling you into a soft embrace as he tried to get a look at your face. "What's wrong?"

You kept your eyes closed tightly as you replied to him. "D-Don't look at me."

Eddie paused for a moment before giving your head a small kiss. "But you're so pretty."

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked up at the brunette, eyes wide with surprise. "W-What?"

Your behavior made Eddie smiled and he placed a kiss on your forehead this time. "You, (Y/n) (L/n), are fucking gorgeous. You always have been and always will be."

Your cheeks took on a deep shade of red as you stared up at him quietly. You looked down and slowly uncovered yourself, placing your arms beside you.

The twinge returned, but this time, it wasn't as bad. It got less and less when Eddie praised you again and again, calling you "Good boy" and "Handsome" without stopping.

A soft yelp escaped you when you felt a hand on your leg. It was Argyles slowly moving further and further up before his fingers hooked into your boxers and slowly pulled them down.

A few kisses were placed on your hips before his hand wrapped around your eager shaft. He then started stroking it softly which made your back arch with pleasure. "Fuck~"

Meanwhile, Eddie had started to kiss your neck while playing with your nipples. You weren't a virgin, but being touched in three spots at the same time was new to you too.

Your chest started to feel heavy in a good way while your neck burned from the constant kissing, biting, and sucking. Your legs were trembling from the quick pace of Argyles' hand, and the knot that was building in your belly felt like it would rip at any moment.

You squirmed as one hand of yours moved to take hold of Argyles arm, while the other one reached up to hold onto Eddie lightly.

Your moans were soft but lewd while the sounds of the two men kissing you and sucking on every part of your body were clearly audible to anyone who was in the room.

It didn't take you long for your body to cave in to the pleasure, so while you didn't want to cum, you couldn't hold back anymore and bucked your hand up into Argyles hand, a loud moan coming from you as your cum spread not only om Argyles hand but also your belly.

You gasped softly to calm your racing heart down as the two held you lightly, giving you comforting kisses all over.

"I think I should show ya what other pretty sounds (Y/n) can make." Argyle mumbled to which you let out an embarrassed whine.

---------------

Masterlist 1:

[plutobutartsy]

Briar's perfectionism is eating him alive :3

tags: @sharksung @teaseat @swanconcerto

this is a lot longer than i thought it would be bc how is this almost 1.3k words hello?????

anyway! content warning for self deprecating thoughts and something that's kind of panic attack adjacent? yeah!

The world was ending. Briar had gotten a B- on his vampiric history quiz and the world was ending.

His day had started off well despite his sore throat and the heaviness in his limbs.

He had taken a shower, gotten dressed, fixed his hair and applied a glamour to hide his fangs and pointy ears from humans, and the heavy bags under his eyes from everybody else. As always, he had skipped breakfast in favour of taking the longer, more scenic route to school. He had gotten there with enough time to double check the answers on his homework and to review the notes for his english class.

The knowledge that he had gotten a head start on his student council work the day before had left Briar feeling giddy; it meant he could leave school early for once and catch Evelyn working her half-shift at the café. He could barely keep the smile off his face, his mind flooded by thoughts of her talking in circles about the new show she's been watching mixed with her loud, unashamed laughter.

Would she finally let him taste some of the lemon cake she's been working on for weeks? Or would she furrow her brows again and tell him that the recipe wasn't "quite ready yet"? Maybe he could convince her to let him have some anyway with the promise of giving her constructive criticism? He had to suppress the urge to giggle at the thought.

That all seemed so far away now. Right now, all Briar could focus on was the big red B- taunting him from the top right corner of his paper. He tried to will his hands to stop shaking but his teacher's quiet "Great work, as always!" was still echoing in his head.

She had said it because she meant it, he knew that, so why did it still feel like a lie? Why did his mind warp her genuine smile into one of pity and thinly veiled disappointment? He took a steadying breath and stuffed the offending paper into his notebook, careful to cover the red letter with his hand as he did so.

By the time the bell rang, he had managed to school his panicked expression into a neutral one, yet the tips of his ears were still tinted red in shame. The pit that had been forming in his stomach for the past ten minutes felt big enough to swallow him whole any second now. He kind of wished it did.

Clumsily, he made his way to the restroom, almost stumbling over his feet multiple times in the process. He just barely managed to double check that the door of his stall was locked before his legs gave out from underneath him.

For a moment he just stared off into space, his gaze unfocused and blurry, as his mind raced. Distantly, he registered the sound of running water, a tap turning on and off, steps becoming quieter and quieter before a door slammed. But it all sounded fuzzy, like his ears were stuffed with cotton. As he turned his eyes to the floor, he noticed his hands were still shaking. He clenched his fists and tried to calm his breathing but the more he focused on it, the more it slipped from his control.

Despite his better judgement, Briar took the quiz out of his bag and looked at it again. Of course, it remained the same as before. A bold B- in the top right corner, check marks besides nearly all of his answers, safe for three of them, and a small "not quite!" scribbled next to his answer to the last question. He sucked in a sharp breath, the two innocent words forcing themselves down his throat before settleing heavily in his gut.

It was fine. This was no big deal. A B- is by no means a bad grade and the quiz counted for so little that it would barely make a dent in his gpa. Not to mention he had been exhausted on the day of the quiz, more so than usual, the stress of organizing the school festival finally wearing on him. And he had gotten only three questions wrong. Three out of fourteen.

It wasn't even that his answers were entirely wrong, he had just forgotten to elaborate on some of the important points. Everyone had their off days, just because Briar had them less often than the average person didn't mean he was above them. This was completely fine and normal and natural and Briar would not cry over something so stupid.

His eyes began to water and his breathing picked up even more as his mind involuntarily drifted to Wren and her perfect grades, with her perfect attendance and her perfect everything. Fuck. He could feel his shame and self-loathing mix with his jealousy for her. Just the thought of her left something bitter in his mouth. Wren would never cry over a B-. Not that she'd ever received one, his sister always excelled at everything. Even the hardest of tasks seemed effortless and easy when done by her. Sometimes he could hardly stand being in the same room as her for longer than five minutes, her light almost blinding him and serving as a reminder he would always stand in her shadow.

And yet, he wished desperately for her to be here with him in this very moment.

She would know exactly what to say to calm him down. To stop him from feeling so worthless and stupid. She'd take him into her arms and stroke his hair, swaying the two of them slowly back and forth. She was always warm despite her vampire biology, even that was flawless about her.

He could call her right now, Wren would pick up. She always did, at least when it was Briar calling. She wouldn't make fun of him or be annoyed. She'd listen patiently and tell him to not be so hard on himself, but she'd phrase it in a way that didn't make her sound like a jackass. A way that would make Briar feel like that was actually possible. Wren was perfect in every way imaginable so of course she was also the perfect sister. Briar almost resented her for it. Sometimes he wished she was awful to him so he could feel less guilty about his envy of her.

Briar's thumb hovered over her contact name. He didn't remember getting his phone out. He wanted to call her so bad. Wanted to hear her soothe him the same way she used to when he was eight and used to flinch at every crackle of thunder.

Before he could press the call button though, his embarrassment flared up again. The thought of having to explain why he was calling her in tears while she's in a lecture left his mouth dry and his stomach in knots. Still shaking, Briar put his phone away. He dug his nails into his thighs and forced five deep breaths. He gave himself a few more minutes to calm down fully, his gaze fixated on the chipped green paint of the stall door.

Then, abruptly, he jumped to his feet and opened the door. He splashed cold water on his face before reapplying the glamour that previously hid his dark circles, but this time he made sure to expand it to hide the tear tracks on his cheeks.

With one last look into the mirror he straightend his spine and relaxed his shoulders, then he was strutting out of the washroom and into the busy halls, trying to forget the quiz paper that seemed to burn its way through his bag and into his hip with every step.

[harunade]

two

warnings: smut!! p in v sex, biting, alcohol mentions, idiots in love.. , recording while fucking, making out, basically drunk sex,, not proofread possible typos

wc: ~ 1.8k

Your streams became something ordinary for you. Once every two days, you would doll yourself up, wear the most revealing pieces of clothing and make yourself cum on camera. What was even better was that people loved it! In two weeks you made enough money to cover rest for the next half of the year, when you usually lived paycheck to paycheck.

As for your new friend, you and Zhang Hao kept in touch as promised. He was present on your streams and you were on his. He made himself known by sending at least $50 and asking you to moan his name, which you happily did. Returning the favour, your name was moaned as well on his live, except you didn’t always have so much money to spend, but still did it anyway.

Unbeknownst to you, whenever Hao came across your videos or lives, his cock got inevitably hard. Normally, he wouldn’t have problems with erections, since he jerked himself off on camera almost daily, but ever since he met you, it’s like you put a spell on him. Sure, he spoke with girl on that site before, but you were the only one he looked forward to see post and had notifications on for.

Whilst for you, Hao was like your dirty little secret. You watched all of his streams, but didn’t always make yourself known. You gained a community pretty quickly, reaching 20k followers in the first month, and your fans shipped you with Hao together. It was common for either of you to recieve donations with pleads to collab.

@/sheloveshao: haha yn someone just send me $100

@/lovelyyn: damn?? so now u got money to ask me out or what

@/sheloveshao: r u saying i was broke before..? well i actually wanted to ask u out but now i dont wanna

@/lovelyyn: hao.. we still have that collab to do :)

It was quite obvious both of you avoided this subject. The thought of meeting with Zhang Hao in real life and “collabing” made your stomach hurt. After talking daily, you gained a liking for him. But since he was a camboy, he probably played with hearts too, so you resorted to just being friends. You face palmed yourself mentally for even bringing it up. Hopefully he won’t think of you as a creep.

@/sheloveshao: you’re right.. what if we met this weekend? if i’m not wrong you live about 20 mins from me

Your heart sank. You wanted to meet him, but at the same time didn’t. You were just too nervous!! Your celebrity crush but also crush but also friend wanted to come over, and both of you knew it would end up with him getting in your pants. That’s what you two do, after all. You didn’t know he was actually as nervous as you.

@/lovelyyn: i’m not opposed.. bring some red wine too.. I’ll have the camera ready ;)

Whew.. you tried so hard to sound as if it barely affected you but your legs were shaking while typing. At least that was done with, and you had 3 days to mentally prepare yourself.

Zhang Hao on the other hand, couldn’t be happier. Maybe happy is too strong of a word… he was definitely excited, both ways. He didn’t only plan to fuck you, but he wanted to surprise you with some sushi first, since he’s a gentleman after all. It wasn’t very manly of him, but he called his friend while kicking his feet. “Guess what, Hyuck.. i’m meeting y/n next weekend!” he exclaimed as soon as his best friend picked up. “What.. are you for real? How did that even happen?” Hao couldn’t wait to give all the details, he was probably more excited than you were. “Well.. it was her who asked in the first place. I came up with the time and she told me to get some wine and that she’ll have her camera ready.. so you know what that means” he giggled towards the end. “Yeah yeah, bring a pack of condoms,too, you sex freak. But don’t get too attached, if she’s a camgirl who knows how many guys she’s done this with” the words spoken by his best friend created a dent in his heart. I mean, were you really meaning to play with his feelings? Did he have feelings for you in the first place? Hao failed to understand how you got so deep into his brain. Sure, he talked to camgirls before, but you had something different. He could actually talk to you without you just asking to collab for his fame.

—

The remaining days went by in a blink, and Hao was knocking on the door of your apartment. He looked lime a child visiting his relatives. He had grey sweatpants on, an oversized black hoodie and a backpack. He was carefully holding a paperbag with sushi inside. He gulped when he heard the door unlocking.

“Hi” you smiled at him and welcomed him in. You weren’t dressed too fancy yourself, just shorts and a tshirt.

The two of you sat down at your table and started chatting. The awkwardness quickly disappeared as soon as Hao pulled the red wine out of his backpack.

“You’re so much more fun than i expected you to be” you tell him before sipping the last drops of wine in your glass. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” he laughs back.

Although he seemed to have fun, Zhang Hao was still thinking about what his friend said. You two hadn’t actuallt done anything yet, but he was still scared. He knew he had to charm you well enough for you to like him back.

—

Much too many glasses were now empty, and the bottle was thrown somewhere on the ground. Next to it was Hao accompanied by you, laughing hysterically at everything and anything. The second mistake of the night, other than drinking so much, was turning your head to face him. You were met with his beautiful brown eyes and saw his hair falling to his forehead. His lips were plump and rosier than usual, and he had a gone look in his eyes.

You didn’t know if you should kiss him or not, but you definitely wanted to. It seemed as if he had read your mind. “Kiss me, pretty?” you didn’t wait a moment before attaching your lips to his, cupping his face in the process. His larger hands went to your waist, carefully throwing you on top of him.

Stranding his hips, the kiss got heated. This new position allowed you to feel the boner in his pants and to rub down on it. You knew you were doing it right when you felt him whimper in your mouth. Normally, Hao gave off a dominant energy in his livestreams, but now he was putty in your hands.

—

“Hao..” you whimpered from below him. In the meantime you moved to your bed, where the brunette boy took of your shirt as well as his hoodie. So far the two of you didn’t do anything other than kissing and biting each other’s skin. You made sure to leave some marks on Hao’s neck. Maybe it was wrong to think this way, but you felt like Zhang Hao should be your property, and that was the best way to show everyone else. And in return, he gave you the same treatment. You neck, chest and belly were covered in kisses and bite marks from the boy in question. He loved the way you grabbed at his hair while he was doing it so much that he just couldn’t stop.

“Should we film?” you asked in a half ironic tone. Hao’s head rose from the crook of your neck and for a second you swore you could see sadness in his eyes.

“I think i have a better idea, just wait, beautiful” he said before diving back into your lips.

—

You grew needier with each moment and the boy above you made it his mission to tease you. “Please, Hao, just fuck me already..” your voice was like a drug to him, and he obeyed immediately. Both of your clothes were gone in no time and he slid a condom in his throbbing cock.

He grabbed it in his hand, and rubbed his tip up and down your drenching pussy, teasing you further and admiring you. Obviously, he had seen you naked before, but you looked even better in real life.

Right before pushing in, he looked you in the eyes, silently asking for permission. “Yes, please..” you murmured.

He bottomed out and let out a sigh. That was the moment the both of you had been wanting for so long. None of you could believe what was actually happening and how good it actually felt.

As Hao was thrusting in and out of you, he grabbed his phone, recording a quick 5sec video of his cock disappearing inside of you and reappearing. He would need that later.

—

Altough it was the first time you two met, it seemed like you had known each other for eternity. Zhang Hao figured out your body in an instant and knew exactly how to get you off, and you knew exactly when to clench your muscles to help him get off as well. Furthermore, you both came at the same time, which had to mean something, right?

Zhang Hao plopped next to you, resting for a bit before cleaning you up with a towel. He then got in bed next to you, welcoming you into his arms. This definitely wasn’t casual…

“What are you planning to do with that video?” you asked him. He almost forgot

Zhang Hao posted said video on his account.

the duo you guys knew you needed <3 @/lovelyyn

Not even two minuted had passed that both of his and your phones started buzzing. People were liking, reposting and commenting on your joint post. “I think they liked it” you laughed. “I did too..” the boy next to you was happy to hear that, as he enjoyed every second himself.

—

It didn’t take you long to tap out, leaving Hao with you in his arms and a lot on his mind. You were even more wonderful than expected. You were kind, beautiful and smelled amazing. He definitely knew he wanted you. It was only a matter of time before he figured out how to ask you to be his girlfriend.

previous | masterlist | next

[gaybd1]

okay sorry I need one more vent post

my roommate at the old place, I’ve always gotten along great with (our dogs are best friends and she pretty much raised mine when she rescued his as a baby)

is there a bit of a language barrier there? yeah

but also she’s just passive aggressive like I never cleaned the house a lot but tbh neither did she. and anytime I did do anything I think she just assumed it was her boyfriend who’s ALWAYS there? but we would never have a conversation about a single thing house-wise

like okay, if I’m cooking I’m gonna wash all the dishes in the sink, not just my own. But several times I’ll leave like. A cup in there for a day (it’s just one cup!! it needs friends before I can wash!!) but then she uses dishes and washes allll of hers but leaves me the cup? Shit like that. But like overall it’s been fine

We had a two year lease and we just finished one year (we lived together somewhere else for a year before that) and

1. only her name is on the lease. hehehe fine by me

2. she knew the landlord prior to renting (a former student’s parents I think?)

3. this house was tiny okay

So anyway in the last year her boyfriend has been totally living there full time which we never really had a discussion over and somehow I’m still in charge of 14,000 of the 25,000 rent (my room is bigger but ????) and half the utilities

So I got a job out of town and the conversation evolved from

“I got a job out of town but I’ll keep living here bc I know we committed to two years and it would be shitty to leave you”

to

“Actually what if I did move out?” to which she was like “okay sure, I can find someone to move into your room”

Wow, permission, great

I started looking at places but it took about a month to land anything. Work hasn’t started yet anyway.

The first week I start going up for the new job I casually mentioned my move in conversation to which she was like “wtf I thought you weren’t doing that anymore? you just never left so I told the person I had lined up that they can’t have the room??” and I’m like. Okay all of this is brand new information to me, I didn’t know I was on a time crunch??

anyway I did find a place and signed for it and was like “listen I know this is a shitty situation (and I know I make way more money- I didn’t say that part) so I’m offering to keep paying for my room here even though I’m not living here” and she was like “that’s crazy I can’t ask you to do that” and we never even continued/revisited that conversation??

Anyway as soon as she knew I was leaving she just mentally checked out and the interaction between us wasn’t huge. I think she judged me for some reason? like she didn’t think I was putting my dog in the best situation by moving to a bigger city?

She recently quit her job (she’s opening a restaurant now or something?) and randomly MARRIED HER BOYFRIEND who STILL for some reason won’t take over my part of the lease like girl you were so ready for me to be out of there anyway.

Anyway not that I expected it but she didn’t help me with this move at all. Not even for like translation things that we both know would have helped me. I even asked if someone could be down at the old house to help load the movers when I waited for them up here with the dog and she made some excuse, like okay

So this has been HARD to do all alone (she forgets, she’s been in a relationship for years) especially being gone for work 12 hours a day without a day off. So I forgot some small stuff moving (also I’ve never moved out of a place still being lived in- that’s hard to make sure you’re not forgetting anything) and like. I had some extra moving boxes (brand new) that I left for her bc why not and she wasn’t home for me to ask if she wanted them

So anyway she’s been texting me

1. you forgot your pictures on the walls! (“omg no way I will have to make time to come get them”)

2. all these cleaning supplies in the bathroom? im gonna throw them away for you I guess idk why you forgot them (lol I know you’ve never cleaned a bathroom but ??? I left those on purpose bc you’re still living there?????)

3. you left some food in the cabinet I’ll help you throw it away (it was like. rice and vinegar. again, thought those might come in handy)

4. “did you forget your boxes?” “no I thought you might want to use them” “so I think you should take them with you when you come get the pictures” “lol I mean if you don’t want them you can just recycle them?”

and then she went OFF on me like “I’ve been dealing with your mess ever since I got home and I just really hate that dismissive tone you used just now”

like ?????????

yoh I know this is a long ass post but wtf do I do about that like I’d like to continue being friends even though she’s seemed far from interested in that for a while now…

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

got 7 likes so....might as well lmao. it's all bls that CAME OUT in 2024, not other bls i WATCHED in 2024

going in alphabetical order from mdl, with the exception of the three dropped ones, and then the one gl

it's gonna get long so it's all under the cut

Finished:

25ji, Akasaka de (At 25:00 in Akasaka): did someone say pining and yearning and good kissing? with komagine kiita?? hell yeah. obviously some misunderstandings but it's resolved well and for it being a similar plot to a different bl, i liked it! 9.5/10

Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Love is a Poison): i am so sad this ended up being really disappointing for me. like. it was good when it was horny and you didn't know haruto's motive and then they had sex and i was like "welp. everything is boring now". yes i finished it but why were those kisses so chaste you were HORNY. at least there was curly haired hama shogo. 3/10

Happy of the End: this one was DARK. obviously with a name like this it was going to all be okay in the end but i honestly would have been fine if it was a true tragedy? the friendship between beppu yurai and kubota yuki meant way more to me than the actual romance. it was very well done and yet not quite my style. 8/10

Hidamari ga Kikoeru (I Hear the Sunspot): oh man. talk about a show that started decently and then totally missed the mark. it is 2024 we no longer need the jealous girl plot. the first half was better than the movie with mr gold ninninger, but like. maaaaaaaan you didn't need to pull the jealous girl plot!! had some good points on like social justice and that sort of thing but i was getting very ready for it to be over by the end. 6/10

Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Living With Him): i really enjoyed this one. it made me cry at the confession scene. i know one episode was kind of weak but the best friends to lovers was well done and i actually really enjoyed the height difference. go mr tycoon geats!! 10/10

Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Love is Better the Second Time Around): for hatsukoi (first love) being kinda not my favorite trope, i did enjoy this one. not sure what mr wizard's deal was, that was. unnecessary. and strange. but the rest of it was pretty good. although a salaryman editor shouldn't have abs????? anyways. 9/10

Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakutekina Ezuke. (Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding): i mean it's GIANT AGE GAP. either you tolerate it or you don't? i didn't care because Sakai Taisei is my age and that isn't my problem if it's up and the show was pretty cute. food. dog. 7.5/10

Necktie Magatteru yo. (Your Tie is Crooked): 7 minutes of layperth. it's so cute. oh my god. perth get into toku if you're gonna be doing bl in japan and princess carrying komagine kiita the next sentai is coming up be a mentor or something it'd be funny. that is not a review for this 7m special so like. y'know. it's chance meeting again under crazy circumstances and really cute. 9.5/10

Perfect Propose: again. not really my thing in terms of tropes? it's hatsukoi again and like age gap that's a little strange for having known each other already (about 5 years). so not my fave combo lmao. but it was decent. wrote for it. 7/10

Spaceless: i think this is the only movie? and it's thai. bible doing the tragic thing. it was very well done in my opinion and i remember liking the song. missed chances and all that, so might not be some people's jam. 8/10

Sugar Dog Life: copganda the bl! age gap again as well. but it was decently fun. i mean mr gold ninninger is really cute but like don't ever expect your real gay cops to act like that. ever. also one of the friends kinda annoyed me. 7/10

Takara no Vidro (Takara's Treasure): aggggggggh again another one that got to me. unrealistic but who cares it's CUTE. some really incorrect opinions on mdl imo but like. y'know. i liked it and that's what matters. not the spin-off tho that wasn't good. 9.5/10

Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2024 (A Man Who Defies the World of BL 3): i mean. so many tokus and a dude freaking about it all. can we get a season 4? who knows. mangaka for the win!!!!!!! i thought it was as funny as the first 2 at least. 10/10

Dropped:

4Minutes: me desperately trying to be interested in anything but the smutty parts that I liked to call "bible study" like... time travel confuses me at the best of times and jet's character wasn't in it enough and i was DEEPLY squicked out by the real life age of one of the main characters and he got SO MANY smut scenes. when i was there for bible. 3.5/10 for 6/8 episodes

Cosmetic Playlover: i was not interested in the jealousy part and breaking mr zi-o it was just not for me. i am liking the other guy in a different drama tho. 2.5/10 for 2/8 episodes

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Although I Love You, and You?): the second hand embarrassment was NOT with an actor i could tolerate this with. sorry mr geats i have yet to watch your toku and i was NOT going to go through all that. 4/10 for 3/10 episodes

GL

Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-senpai ni Koishiteru (Ayaka is in Love With Hiroko!): i enjoyed most of it. the ending annoyed me though. let women be horny!!! sure it's realistic for what hiroko had been through but like. man. i just wanted horny for a bit?? also that should have been ME kissing mori kanna. 7/10

if i did a bl review for the 2024 bls i watched would anyone be interested? 🤔

[nicad13]

Crossroads: Chapter 16

The Proving Grounds

Summary: Rayne and Din are tested.

Din breaks his promise.

Notes: Canon-compliant through Season 1, alt version of Season 2. Posting some old fic before the sequel, which will hopefully be complete by the end of Season 3. Start now so you're ready! AO3 link in the Source at the bottom.

Tags/Warnings: whump, violence, hurt/comfort, mind control, hallucinations, angst, soooo much angst....

Rating: Mature

---

Through this world I’ve stumbled So many times betrayed Trying to find an honest word To find the truth enslaved Oh you speak to me in riddles and You speak to me in rhymes My body aches to breathe your breath Your words keep me alive

Sarah McLachlan, Possession

---

Din sat on the edge of the bunk in the hold of the Razor Crest, elbows on his knees, helmeted head in his hands. Trembling with tension.

He’d seen Cara off at the spaceport and then returned to the ship, meaning to pack up more of their things and then catch a speeder back to their place. He’d collected Rayne and Yadier’s belongings easily enough, but when he’d gotten to his own stuff, he’d become indecisive. Was he staying or not? Should he bring most of his non-weapons stuff or just a few changes of clothes?

Cara’s words haunted him.

You love her, don’t you?

He hadn’t answered. He’d sidestepped completely. Because what was the point? What was the point when they would throw him out anyway? Even making the promise to Rayne that he would end her life if she turned to the Dark Side was ridiculous in its optimism because it assumed he would be allowed to stay and be in the position to fulfill it. That path was forked, but both options led to dead ends. He would either be forced to leave, or forced to bring her life to a violent end.

He didn’t dare let himself look at the third path. The one where he was allowed to stay and his Jedi managed to stave off the Dark Side. It seemed so unlikely compared to the other possibilities. Too good to be true. Daring to want such a thing only to lose it would shatter him.

He had watched her die once already. He remembered with crystal clarity the way it had gutted him. Emptied him out. He remembered drawing his blade on himself, not for the first time, not even for the second, but for the first time with lethal intent.

He was pretty sure he wouldn’t survive it a second time around.

He really was a coward. Hut’uun. It rang in his head, over and over.

He should just leave right now. Save everyone the time. Release Rayne from him so she could find a father for their son who could handle it. Send Rayne and Yadier their things, get the hell off this planet, and forget that this last year of his life had ever happened.

The comlink on his vambrace chirped. The code indicated that Rayne was on the other end. “Hey.”

“Hey. Everything ok?” Rayne’s voice signaled a slight edge of concern. Looking at the time at the lower left corner of his HUD, he realized how late he was.

“Yeah.” It wasn’t really a lie. On a scale of One to I watched you die, he figured You’re better off without me didn’t quite rank half-way up. “Just… lost track of time.”

She paused for a beat, as if to tell him in her own silent way that she knew he was full of it, but would take mercy on him, regardless. “Okay. Do you want us to wait for you to get dinner?”

“No. Go ahead without me.” Get used to it.

“Want me to bring you anything back?”

“No. Thank you.”

“Din…”

“Yes?”

“You’re at the Crest right now?”

“Yes.”

“… You’re coming back, right?”

Goddammit, Rayne. He considered asking if that was what she wanted, but she’d made that plain enough with the way she’d asked it. God knew why. “Yes.” The silence stretched for a bit, and then he added, “Don’t wait up.”

“We all need to be at the Temple tomorrow morning.”

That was news. “Okay. I’ll be home tonight. Get some rest.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

He went for a walk.

He wandered back towards the city, no particular destination in mind, just wanting to lose himself in an unfamiliar place, fade into anonymity inasmuch as a Mandalorian could in a city seemingly full of every kind of being except Mandos. Humans, Chargrians, Kubaz, Devaronians, Twi’leks, Bothans, Rodians, even a couple Wookies. But no other beskar-clad souls. In that, Genesaria was just like every place else.

Din Djarin was, and always would be, alone in this galaxy.

He should’ve been used to it by now.

So why did it hurt so much lately?

He stopped in his tracks. His halt was so abrupt that a Devaronian walked right into him and almost knocked him over.

“Whoops! Sorry about that. You alright?” The large horned man held Din upright by the elbow.

Din was so stunned at being treated so politely by a Devaronian that he couldn’t bring any words.

“Buddy? You ok?”

“Yeah. Yes. Sorry.” Din pulled back, chiding himself both for his clumsiness and his racism, knowing he couldn’t let the Devaronian he’d run into on Ran’s crew represent an entire people. “It was my fault.”

The Devaronian nodded and went on his way, and Din turned back to look at what had brought him to such a standstill.

A restaurant with Mandalorian script on the storefront. “Jat’skraan.” The translation was printed below in Basic: “Good Eats.”

Din stood in the middle of the sidewalk, motionless. Dumbfounded. Wondering if he really had finally lost his goddamned mind.

A Mandalorian restaurant? Where… people ate Mandalorian food… in public? With other people?

What madness was this?

Helpless, Din found himself drawn to the door, found himself opening it, found himself walking in.

People were sitting together at tables, mostly human, but a smattering of others. No one was wearing armor. No helmets. They gave him only a cursory look before returning to their food and conversations.

He drifted to the bar and slid into an empty seat at the end, not knowing what else to do with himself. Meals at the coverts were served in a hybrid of cafeteria/takeout style. You scooped what you wanted into a box and took it back to your room to eat alone. He’d never found any particular joy in eating it. Nothing like the meals his parents would make when he was a kid, even if those memories were little more than ghosts in his mind. But here, he could smell a variety of savory spices, a palate that was barely hinted at by covert food.

“I didn’t expect to see you in here so soon.”

Din’s wandering attention was brought to a woman approaching him from behind the bar clad in leather clothes and a beskar helmet, the latter of which she lifted from her head as she reached him. Din flinched, turning his head away as she completed the motion, only to hear her laugh.

“Someone’s still riding the Death Watch cart, eh Mando?”

Maz’s words floated back to him. Expect to be challenged by those you seek. He turned back to the bartender with slow caution. She was maybe ten years his senior, dark red curls of hair fading to grey, kind brown eyes looking at him from a weathered face. He placed his hands on the bar so they were in clear view, a signal that he was not drawing a weapon at present, a signal of momentary peace. “Maybe still being dragged is a closer description.”

The barkeeper tipped her head in acknowledgement. “Fair enough. I’m Ranni. I suppose you still go by Mando?”

“I do. You were expecting me?”

“You’ve had a cult following on this planet since the Imps put a public bounty on you for stealing the Lost Son.”

A sluggish feeling of mortification settled over him. “People here know who I am?” His voice was barely audible over the background conversations.

“‘Fraid so. You’ve been known by name since Gideon started spewing it a few months ago.”

“He won’t be spewing anything anymore.”

“So that was your work on Ilum?” Her voice rang with admiration.

“I had help. A lot of help.” He sighed. “News travels fast here, then.”

“Indeed it does.”

“Are there other Mandalorians here?”

“A few, though you won’t recognize them. They’re mostly of the New Mandalorian variety. Never wore armor. Never will.”

“And you?”

Ranni smiled. “This was my great grandmother’s helmet. Mandalore used to be known for its incredible cuisine, and she was one of Mandalore’s greatest chefs. When even warriors were permitted to remove their helmets in public. Could eat in public. Hell, most of the Death Watch elite walked bare-faced until almost the very end. Do a search on Gar Saxon and Pre Vizsla and you’ll easily find pictures of their faces. Only the moon-based cells were extremist enough to adopt the dar’manda helmet rules. Take one guess about what happened to the Mandalorian restaurant industry when those assholes took over the system.”

Din drew a finger across his throat.

“Exactly. Our food was just as much a part of our culture as our armor. And food is meant to be eaten together. It’s meant to be communal. Take the community out of the food, and you take away all of the joy of it. You take away all of the pride in it. The food turns to crap. Every culture is defined, in part, by food. But us? Not anymore. We’re nothing more than faceless helmets. I only wear mine to cook with because it’s the only way I keep from getting Tiingilar spice up my damn nose.”

Din gave a slow nod. It all lined up with what he had read so far. The rules of his upbringing, the Resol’nare, twisted as a means of oppression. Any questioning answered only with This is the Way. The emptiest non-answer there ever was. The vaguest of vague platitudes.

“So,” Ranni continued. “I assume you’re still doing takeout?”

“I’m afraid so. But…” He swallowed. “I appreciate the history lesson. Thank you.”

She smiled at the honesty of his tone. “What can I get you, then?”

“You mentioned Tiingilar…”          

She laughed and shook her head. “Oh, honey, you can’t handle that. Let’s just start you off with some roast shatual.”

“I’m…” Din sighed. “… Trying to knock a blood-pressure issue down…”

“Ah. Then I’ll throw in some uj cake and a bottle of shig. I’ll have it out in a bit.”

Ranni returned with a bag a few minutes later, refusing to tell him what he owed, saying it was on the house. He left his best guess as to its worth in New Republic credits on the bar anyway, hoping they would spend on this world, and walked back to the Razor Crest.

He sat at the table in the hold, removed his helmet, and ate his first true traditional Mandalorian meal.

Alone.

It was delicious. The sliced meat of the shatual perfectly cooked and spiced, the uj cake sweet and nutty, the shig washing it all down.

When he was done, he rested his head in his hands, elbows on the table, feeling the shig tea work its way through him, calming him down, allowing his mind to focus.

He finished packing up his things, choosing a few changes of clothes, his book tablet, and his shower kit. He would leave the Amban on the Crest; few people here were openly armed, and he had yet to see anyone with a long gun. The pulse rifle would only be provocative in a way he didn’t want. He opened the weapons locker, pulled the Darksaber from its hook, and considered it. The Jedi wore their sabers openly here, more as a symbolic allowance than anything else. He clipped the Darksaber to his belt at the small of his back. Concealed, but handy. He hailed a speeder, loaded his family’s things in the back, and watched the city pass him by as he glided to their temporary home. He managed getting everything up in one trip. A quick peek into Yadier’s room found the baby snoring away. He took his meds, brushed his teeth, shaved, and showered. And when he slid into bed behind Rayne, she remained asleep, giving little more than a contented sigh as he kissed the back of her neck and spooned himself around her.

She was sleeping well, then. No apparent restlessness for what might happen tomorrow.

He dared to allow himself to take that as a good sign and closed his eyes.

He could lose it all. But that’s what it meant to have a family with Jedi. That was the reality he had to face. And if he was allowed to stay, he would stand with her and face it. If he wasn’t strong enough to face it, who was? He was not a coward. He was a Mandalorian.

He wasn’t a coward. He was just… afraid. They weren’t the same thing. He would do the same thing with this fear that he’d done with the others. Manage it. Look it in the face and figure out how to deal with it.

“I want this to work.” His lips formed the words in silence against the back of her neck.

“I…” The next words hung on him, even in silence. “I want this to work,” he repeated, instead.

He drifted to sleep and was once more reminded of pineapple as he breathed her in.

---

The clan of Rollins-Djarin walked to the Jedi temple the next morning, Yadier leading the way as he hopped and skipped down the sidewalk.

Din let out a miserable-sounding sigh.

He’d been melancholy all morning, telling Rayne what he’d learned from Cara about the vetting of non-Force-sensitive new arrivals here, along with her assessment of Genesaria’s need, or lack thereof, for people like her and Din.

He didn’t say anything about dinner. That he needed more time to process the existential experience of a Mandalorian restaurant seemed ridiculous, but, here he was.

Rayne was slightly more hopeful about his chances, but was anxious nonetheless. Hearing his sigh, she brushed the back of her hand along the back of his, glancing up at the helmet that remained pointed straight ahead with an unasked question.

“We’re sending our son to his first day of school and he doesn’t even have any shoes.” His tone was petulant.

Rayne blew out a sigh of relief. Of all the things to worry about, this didn’t even make her list. But she understood that Din lacked the experience she had with this sort of thing. “Grand Master Yoda never wore shoes. I don’t think any of the Council members of his species were wearing any yesterday, either. I don’t think shoes are a thing for them. Don’t worry about it.”

He let out another sigh, trying to calm himself down. “Okay.”

They arrived at the Jedi temple and Yadier led the way to the classroom for Force-sensitive preschool, remembering the route from their tour the day before. He brought his hands together in a soft clap, over and over, ears pricked, eyes round and eager, bouncing with every step.

The door was still open by the time they got there, and a Twi’lek woman greeted them. “Yadier, Jedi Rayne, Mandalorian. My name is Ona. Welcome.”

Din watched as Rayne tipped her head and shoulders in a slight bow, eyes downcast, then straightened to regain eye contact, and followed suit himself. He felt his gut tighten at the idea of his son being taught by a Twi’lek, but forced himself to stomp it down. He’d had profoundly bad experiences with members of at least ten different species in this galaxy at some point in his life, several of which were represented at Genesaria. He had to get over it. Bigotry was bad enough on its own, but it would most certainly not serve him well here.

“Thank you, Ona,” Rayne replied. She looked down to see Yadier at the threshold, bouncing in place, and he turned up to face her, arms upraised. Knowing this was the sign for one last hug before I venture forth, she picked him up and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. She offered him to Din, who took him in turn and brought is forehead to his son’s.

“Be good. Make friends. Have fun. Learn a lot.” He murmured the words and Yadier giggled as Din turned his head to and fro over him. He set his son back to the ground, and the baby took off running into the group of small children playing a game in a circle. They made room for him like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Ona turned to the boy’s parents. “I think he’ll do just fine.”

“Thank you,” Rayne said again.

They did their little bows, and left.

Din followed Rayne up to a set of double-doors that opened onto a large hall that comfortably held the fifty people waiting for them, sunlight streaming through arched stained-glass windows. They were standing in no particular formation, and Rayne and Din were led to the center of the group.

Fifty Force-sensitives. Castaway Jedi. Purge survivors. Members of Yadier’s people. Din found himself initially surprised by their appearance, their diminutive height speaking nothing of their power. They apparently did not retain their adorableness in old age. They weren’t… ugly, per se, but they were by no means attractive. The wrinkly skin and enormous ears were a bit less enduring without the disproportionately huge dark eyes to balance it all out.

Yandia, as the voice of the Council, acknowledged Din. “Welcome, Mandalorian. We thank you for returning our Lost Son to us.”

Din repeated the little bow he’d performed a few minutes earlier. It appeared to be the correct response, as Yandia returned it and took a seat on a mat on the floor. He motioned to another mat in front of him, and Rayne took her place to kneel. Not knowing where else to go, Din stood to the side.

A hush fell over the hall.

Yandia bowed his head and spoke. “Not the name you had at the Jedi temple at Coruscant, the name you use now.”

“No. I was on my own evading the Purge. I couldn’t use my name.”

“Over the Purge is. Safe, you are here. Your name we would hear.”

She hesitated, casting a brief glance in Din’s direction. “I’ve only said it once in the last thirty-four years.” When she told Hayes, the night she married him. He had honored her request to never speak it, taking it with him to the cold grave of outer space.

“And now you must say it once again.” Yandia cast a glance in Din’s direction as well. “Before all of those present beside you.”

She took a breath, held it, and let it out. “Rez. Rez Rohan.”

One of the Council members was scrolling through a tablet, found what she was looking for, and pronounced, “Rez Rohan of Onderon.”

Din stood in silence, committing her name to memory, knowing he may never hear it again beyond these walls.

“Your lightsaber, please.” Yandia held out his hands. Rayne unclipped it from her belt and placed it in his grasp. He ignited the blade, gazed at the yellow light, turned it once, twice, and then deactivated it.

“Jedi Rez was a member of the final Gathering class at Ilum at the age of ten,” The Councilmember with the tablet said. “She was the last of the group to emerge from the cave.”

Rayne closed her eyes. They were going to unearth every single one of her flaws for all to see. The late bloomer. The one who was neither all that communal with the Force, nor all that great of a fighter. The one who hadn’t even had a Master in mind for when she got back from Ilum, for when she would become a Padawan, only she never got the chance.

Instead, Yandia’s response was carried by the kindness in his voice. “Often the last to emerge from the cave, were Sentinels. Over-think things, they tend to do.” He gave her a warm smile. “Built under Professor Huyang’s supervision, you lightsaber was not.”

“No. We were on our way back on the Crucible and he only had enough time to allow us to select our materials. We were ordered to jump back to Coruscant immediately. We weren’t told why but…” Rayne’s words stumbled. “They thought we would be safer at the Temple.”

Yandia bowed his head. “In that, they were incorrect. At what age were you, when you completed your lightsaber?”

“Eighteen.”

“Mmm.” The Council leader held the hilt in his hands, gazing at it. “An unconventional design, it is. Cartusian whalebone inlay. An unusual choice. Modified for greater stability, the emitter matrix is.” He paused, contemplating it further. “The last kyber crystal to emerge from the Ilum temple, this lightsaber houses.” He offered it back to her, and she accepted it, clipping it back to her belt. “Truly sacred the weapon you created is.”

Din swallowed. For a man who was raised in a religion that worshiped weapons, it was almost too much to hear.

Many in the hall were not so easily impressed.

“Nearly four and a half decades she has lived. Yet endured her rite of passage as a knight she has not,” said one.

“Fell the Republic did before she had the chance,” said another.

“Little used her powers are,” said a third.

“Clumsy she is,” said a fourth.

The dissenting murmurs continued.

Din watched as Rayne remained kneeling at the center of it all, head bowed. Listened as they denounced her. Seethed as they made it perfectly clear that they had no idea what she was capable of or how much she had done in the face of having been given so little.

“The powers of her mind I wish to see,” said Yandia.

Din turned toward his voice, a bubble of hope in this sea of despair.

“A rite of passage do you wish?” proposed another.

“A chance to prove herself, yes,” Yandia responded. “Join her, the Mandalorian will.”

In unison, they turned their faces to him. Understanding what was being asked… demanded?...  of him, he walked to the center of the floor as Yandia vacated his mat, and knelt before Rayne, ignoring the protests from his knees, facing her. “Hey,” he took her hands in his. “Look at me.”

She lifted her chin and met his gaze through the visor with her own.

Her eyes were blazing.

The blue of her eyes reflecting the steel glint of his beskar.

Oh, you are so ready for this. He pushed his thoughts towards her. Show them. Show them your strength. Show them what happens when an orphaned Jedi is found by a Mandalorian.

Ever so slightly, the corner of her mouth pulled into a hint of a smile.

The others gathered around them, forming a tight circle. His breath hitched as they raised their hands and bowed their heads.

And then he felt it.

He felt his armor thrum all over him, reacting to the Force, the beskar shedding the buildup of it all around him. But they were at close range, and they would have their way with him.

Unless she could protect him.

The procedure of the test was suddenly clear as his hands let go of hers, unbidden, and rose to the bottom edge of his helmet. “Um… Rayne…”

“I know…” she whispered.

The Force fell away from him almost as suddenly as it had come, and his hands were free. He reached for her once more when she twitched her head in a motion of negation. “Don’t touch me,” she whispered again.

He wants the helmet off… A voice drifted in her mind. He wants this… Let us give it to him… Other voices joined it.

No… she replied. Not like this…

He watched as her gaze lost focus in a thousand-mile stare, looking straight through him, and he realized she was fighting all of them off, all fifty of them, at close range, at this instant. Fending off their attack on him, their only intention of using his own hands against himself to remove his helmet.

She was the only thing standing between him and fifty Jedi bent on making him break his Creed. A Creed that he was perilously close to breaking on his own, and her words about the ease of making someone do something they had been holding off on, during her demonstration at the edge of the lake on Methuselah, rang like a shot in his head.

You want the helmet off… you want to see his face… you want to see his eyes…

He stilled himself. Allowed her to focus. Watched as her breath came in long, steady draws. Watched as the lids of her eyes fell in a slow blink every ten seconds. Watched as sweat broke out on her face, her neck, her chest, her arms. Three minutes passed as he watched time tick away on his HUD. C’mon Rayne, you’ve got this.

You are already dar’manda… show her who you really are… stop being a coward and show her your face…

Five minutes passed, and he felt the pinpricks of the Force along the backs of his hands. Her fingers twitched against it, the muscles of her jaw bulged under the strain. He did all he could to bolster her. Strong. You’re so strong. Show them how strong you are. He had no idea if it was helping. Had no idea if she could hear.

Your son… think of your son… he deserves to see the face of his father…

At seven minutes, his hands fisted and rose half-way up his chest. A small choking sound escaped her throat, but that was all. He fought them off as much as he could, fought to bring his hands back to his knees, but he might as well have been pushing against the surface of the planet itself. When his hands lowered, they were under her power. Her breath was heavy now, her hair was wet.

He wants to give in… he wants to be free of it…

His terms… Rayne fought back. It has to be on his terms…

At ten minutes, he watched, horrified, as her left pupil suddenly dilated.

Oh, no. Not again.

Her hold on him took an abrupt dive and his hands shot to his helmet. “Rayne!” He barked her name without meaning to, but she recovered, holding him in place, both of them shaking. Only then did he notice her blood pooling at the hollow of her throat, at the bottom of a trail leading from her left ear. Before he could get a good look at it, a wave of static glitched over his visor, dueling Forces taking their toll on his gear. Her left eye started to pull to the outside, wandering, but still, she held him.

“It’s not worth it,” he said to them, before he realized the words were even in his head. “Take the helmet. I give up. She’s had enough. Please-”

Shut up. Her voice in his mind. Even as the light faded from her eyes, her mind still held fast. I can’t fight them on my own. I need your help. He watched her tremble before him and he redoubled his efforts, fighting to keep his hands fisted, to not grip the helmet.

Rayne…

Do you trust me? Even in his mind, her voice was strained.

You know I do.

Then fight it. Fight them. Fight them with me.

Din did what he did best. He fought. With his Jedi before him. With his Jedi all around him. Feeling the armor of her Force surrounding him, he held her up, and together they fought the assault. He chanced a look around, and they were all still there, all still with their hands raised, all against them.

But still, he felt her cracks under the strain.

Had she not yet proven herself? One against fifty of them? A non-stop onslaught? Did they not see what they were doing to her? “Stop,” he said. “You’re killing her.” His head swam as his hands tightened and loosened outside of his control. He turned his attention back to her in time to see her eyes roll back into her head and her lids close, but she remained upright. “Stop!” he said again, louder. Blood seeped out from the corners of her eyes and now he was well and truly alarmed, her hold on him still vice-grip tight, her breath coming in ragged draws.

 And then her breath stopped.

No. No no no. Not again.

She fell forward, into him, her blood splashing onto his beskar.

His world went black.

---

Rayne came to slowly, opening her eyes to a world that refused to focus, head pounding. Finding it too much, she gave up, closed her eyes, and sank back down.

“Hey…” Din’s voice was clear at least, her ears apparently working better than her eyes.

“Mmph.” It was the best she could do.

“Hey, come back.” His tone was gentle.

She felt his bare hand, absent of its glove, at the back of her neck. She tried again, forcing her eyes open, seeing a fuzzy black T against silver, the visor of his helmet inches from her face. She rolled into his touch, bringing her hands up to his, bringing the tips of his bare fingers to her lips. Her mouth was dry. Her hands were numb. “How long?”

“A few hours.”

She closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh. “What happened?”

“You stood alone against fifty of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy for ten minutes. You protected me with nothing but the power of your own mind.”

“And then I failed.”

“No,” he shook his head. “They didn’t expect you to last more than five seconds. They’ve tested a hundred others this way. You outdid eighty of them. And gave splitting headaches to ten of the fifty who tested you.”

“Is that a pass?”

“It is.” He ran a thumb along her eyebrow, relieved to see her pupils equally dilated. “Jedi Knight Rollins.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

She closed her eyes. “Can’t be right. I was never more than a youngling. I was never even a Padawan.”

“They decided that thirty-five years of experience, building a lightsaber capable of defeating the Darksaber, crashing an Imperial starship into an Imperial base, and bringing their Lost Son home was worth something.”

She let out a long sigh. “Decent résumé, I guess.”

She sat up, finding herself on a couch in a small chamber with stone walls that still managed to be cozy, late-afternoon light filtering in through a window, Din sitting on the edge of the couch, facing her. “Are we still at the temple?”

“Yes,” Din handed her a bottle of water and she accepted it, downing half of it without managing to spill it or drown herself. “I was out for a few minutes, but they’d healed you by the time I woke up.” She turned to sit and pulled him back by the pauldron so she could lean against him. He obliged, settling an arm around her. “I don’t get it though. I thought I was the one getting tested today.”

“Oh, you were,” Rayne said, getting as comfortable as she could against the armor. “They wanted to see how you’d react to all of it. See if you trusted me.”

“Oh.” He ran it all back through his head. “How’d I do?”

“Well enough, I think,” she sighed.

“So that’s it?”

“No,” she said. “Not by a long shot.”

The thought of asking about her name crossed his mind, but he held back, thinking it best to let her bring it up when she was ready. If she ever got there.

They rested for another hour or so, and by the time she was ready to get up and around, it was time to pick Yadier up from school. They wandered the halls of the temple for a bit, finding their way, and were surprised to see Yandia waiting for them at the door of the classroom.

“Greetings Rayne. Mandalorian.”

Again, Din followed Rayne with the little head-dip of a bow.

“A satisfactory performance from you both, today.”

“Thank you,” Rayne replied.

Satisfactory? Din’s head spun a little. He thought back to the Armorer’s words of how his son would not survive Mandalorian training, but would be safe with the Jedi. She had no idea.

“Your lightsaber, please.” Once again, Yandia held his hand out for it, and Rayne passed it over. Din looked to her in confusion, but she could only shake her head and shrug.

The door opened and Ona greeted them with a smile, apparently not surprised that the Jedi Council leader was standing there with Rayne’s lightsaber in his hand. “Come in, please.”

They followed her to the front of the classroom full of Younglings, and Din’s heart melted a little at the sight of his son seated at the front, his face happy and hopeful, clearly having had a good day.

“We have a special treat today,” Ona started. The children tittered with excitement. “Yadier’s mother succeeded in her trials. Master Yandia thought it would be nice to have her Knighting Ceremony here before we ended our day.”

The class erupted in happy squeals and the clapping of tiny hands.

Rayne’s shoulders dropped as she fought back the tears that suddenly welled up.

She never thought this would happen. After decades of running. After decades of hiding what she was. After decades of the erasure of her people from the galaxy, forgotten by history. And she certainly never thought this would happen in front of her son and the man she had come to think of as her own.

Yandia stood at the front of the room and faced Rayne, igniting her saber. She took a knee before him, bowing her head. He brought the saber to each of her shoulders, and she heard the thrumming buzz of it in each ear, felt the heat of it on her skin.

“By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, I dub thee Jedi, Knight of Genesaria.”

He deactivated the saber and placed it on the floor before her, but she kept her head bowed and the room remained silent. Yandia looked up to Din and held out a hand. “Your vibroblade, please, Mandalorian. A Padawan braid our new knight does not possess, and too short her hair is to cut with a lightsaber.”

Din pulled his blade from his boot, pride welling in his chest, and handed it to the Jedi Master, hilt first. Yandia took it with a steady hand, took hold of one tight curl at the top of Rayne’s head, near the back, and sliced it off.

And thus, Rayne was the first Jedi in the history of the galaxy to be knighted with a Mandalorian blade.

Yandia returned Din’s blade, bound the curl with elastic, slipped it into his pocket, and offered Rayne’s lightsaber back to her. She accepted, and clipped it to her belt.

With that, Yandia bowed. “That is all. Thank you.”

The class erupted in cheers and Yadier toddled over to his mother, arms outstretched, squeaking “Buir!” at the top of his lungs. Overwhelmed, she sat with him on the floor and held him, no longer able to hold her tears back. Din took a knee beside his family, brought his arms around them, and held them tight, oblivious to the celebration around them.

“My Jedi,” he whispered, not sure if she could hear him, not really caring. “My Jedi Knight.”

He whispered it again that night, when they were alone together in the dark, without the helmet between them. She brought her lips to his, warm and soft. And when they parted, she replied with a whisper of her own.

“My Mandalorian.”

---

They spent the next week settling in. Yadier made friends at school, thriving in an environment with others at his developmental level who shared his gifts, if not in magnitude, at least in kind. Rayne began her meditative training, her baseline level of Force resistance established at the trial. She scoped out the shipyards, getting a sense of what might be needed mechanic-wise. She also pondered the possibility of devoting herself full-time to design work, no longer needing the front of a legitimate business to back her public name. She had options.

In the afternoons, she and Din would do a bit of training in the courtyard at the temple. Rayne had found the training spheres of her youth, the hovering balls that shot low-level blasts. She would gather half a dozen and bring them out, Din tuning his blaster down so he could hit them without destroying them.

And then, they fought. They fought in the old way of the Jedi and Clone, the way they had on the Vibre. Sometimes him behind her, sometimes back-to-back, Rayne deflecting the shots of the training spheres with her lightsaber, Din picking them off with his blaster from his position of safety, his offense protected by her defense. They reveled in the growing harmony of their minds, the way she could almost share her precognition with him, the way he responded to it, taking the advantages she gave him.

Sometimes they drew a crowd.

And when, after they had drained the training spheres of all their charge, they turned to face each other, exhausted, breaths heavy, Din could only hope that Rayne knew his smile was as broad as hers as he held his hand out, and her hand met his in the upraised clasp of warriors.

God, this woman.

Some members of the crowd would clap, impressed with the display. Others were more reserved, arms folded.

One day, Din met with Luc, their liaison.

“You know about what happened at Ilum,” Din said.

“Ah! Yes! Quite the victory. You have our congratulations in eliminating such a well-organized Imperial remnant.”

“Gideon was far too well-equipped for a remnant and you know it.”

Luc gave the barest of a nod. “Perhaps.”

“The Empire, or some part of it, is coming back,” Din said. “The New Republic isn’t in any position to do anything about it. And you know that, too.”

Again, a slight nod. “Perhaps.”

“My family took out a Moff and his entire regiment. One Mandalorian. Two Force-sensitives. One Shocktrooper. Four of us against hundreds of them.” Din paused to let it sink in. “If we could raise that much hell, what could Genesaria do?”

“Heh, most are here because they fled a war or are the descendents of those who fled.”

“They fled a system that abandoned them when the Empire attacked it. They fled a way of life that collapsed in the face of the Dark Side. You’re telling me we can’t do better?”

“No, not necessarily. I’m telling you we haven’t considered it yet, and will not be eager to take it up.”

“How long do you think we’ll have that luxury?”

Luc gave a conciliatory shrug. “I will take your concerns to the Council.”

---

Din and Rayne walked the halls of the Jedi temple, having just dropped Yadier off at school, on their way to Rayne’s daily meditation practice.

“How are things going with it?” he asked, brushing the back of his hand against the back of hers.

“So far so good, I think,” she said. “My focus is getting better. I’m learning my weak points.”

“Any… symptoms?”

“No,” she said. She’d been a little restless for the last couple of nights, waking up with a little trouble getting back to sleep, but there had been no nightmares. No visions, terrifying or otherwise. “Not yet.”

“Good.” His response was almost a sigh of relief, and he hooked a pinky finger around hers for a brief moment, a bold public display of affection for a place so holy.

They reached the chamber of their destination and were greeted by Master Jenkins, the Jedi meditative specialist who was leading Rayne through her practice. “Good morning, Din.”

He tipped his head. “Jenkins.” Given the depth of memories and thoughts her guidance of Rayne’s practice required, it was impossible not to reveal his name, among many other things, and so he allowed her use of it when not in the presence of others.

Rayne turned and took both of his hands in hers. “Good luck today.”

“Thank you.” He paused for a moment, just to take it all in, and then gave her hands a mild squeeze before letting go. “I’ll see you later to get Yadier after school.”

“Yep.”

One last nod, and he turned and left.

Having visited the Educational and Force-Relational wings of the temple, Din headed to the Administrative wing to debrief one of the Council members on what he and Rayne had learned on Gideon’s Vibre and at Ilum, Luc having actually come through and gotten him on someone’s calendar.

He had plenty of time, so he paused at an atrium on his way, finding himself at a rail a few levels up, with several more levels overhead, clear transparisteel at the roof, letting the mid-morning sunlight stream down through the vertical jungle that grew up through the center of the temple.

The growth was dominated by two tall trees, thick, vine-wrapped trunks reaching up to the roof, their branches supporting moss and other symbiotic plants with vibrant blooms of all colors. Several species of butterflies fluttered about, pausing at the flowers to feed upon their nectar, wings opening and closing in relaxed beats.

Din didn’t quite know what to think. On the one hand, it seemed unnatural to keep plants and insects such at these inside. Cruel, almost, to cage these wild things. On the other hand, he had to admit it was beautiful. He just… wasn’t used to this kind of thing. This kind of adornment. He stood there for ten minutes, watching the butterflies, wondering if they realized they were confined, wondering if the trade-offs of protection from predators in here was worth the freedom of outside.

Standing there in the sun, he realized he was parched. He wondered if the blood-pressure meds were dehydrating him; water seemed to go right through him over the last couple days. He’d taken to carrying his water flask clipped to the back of his belt; standard operating procedure when he was hunting, but not something he was accustomed to on his down-time in civilized areas. The trick, of course, was finding a spot to lift the helmet and drink it. He was deep into the middle of the temple and his appointment was in five minutes. He’d have to duck into a fresher and make due.

After the whole atrium jungle thing, Din supposed he should have expected the first fresher he found to be a spacious, private, almost opulent facility. Leave it to the Jedi to require peace and harmony just to take a shit. He locked the door behind him, lifted the helmet off, and set it on the bench against the wall. He pulled the flask off of his belt, undid the cap, and downed the whole thing in one go.

The flask fell from his hands and clattered to the floor, suddenly forgotten.

Din froze in place, a sense of dread creeping into his mind.

Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong.

Buir… Buir… no!

Yadier…

Din fell to the bench as his mind suddenly split open, cracked asunder by the anguished cries of his son. He saw what his son saw. He heard what his son heard. He felt what his son felt.

He saw Rayne approach him with a blade in her hand. Not her lightsaber… something different, but still familiar. Her expression was calm, if unreadable. “I’m sorry, Yadi,” she said. “You’re a good boy, and you deserve better, but you’re too dangerous.” She reached for him with her empty hand, running a finger along an ear. “Too much power all in one place.” She shook her head. “If the Imps were to get you, they’d bring it all back. They’d be unstoppable. I can’t let it happen.” She brought the blade to his son’s throat. “I brought you here hoping they would know what to do, but they don’t. And now I have to do it myself.” She tilted her head, the cold, steel blue of her eyes staring right through him.

Her eyes were wet with tears as she lifted their son’s chin with her finger. “Jedi die for the good of the galaxy.” Her voice hitched. “I’m so sorry, Yadier. I’m so sorry I couldn’t find a place to keep you safe. You’ll always be my verd’ika. My little warrior. Please know I love you. Please forgive me.”

Din’s breath caught in his throat as he heard his son shriek, as his son saw the blade come for him, gagged as the blade plunged into his throat.

Xi’an’s blade.

Din’s vision threatened to grey out as he saw Xi’an’s blade in Rayne’s hand pull back covered in Yadier’s blood.

No… no…

The vision faded with the life force of his dead son.

Everything he had given up. His life. Everything he had fought for. Everything he had bled for. Everything he had almost died for. Everything most of the covert had died for.

Gone.

He had trusted her. They had bled together. Fought together. Fucked together. How many times had she taken him? How many times had he trusted her with his bare skin? With his bare face in the dark?

This wasn’t the Dark Side. She would’ve tried to turn Yadier if it had been. The Sith would never leave behind such a prize as his son without trying to turn him first.

This was betrayal.

Cold, hard betrayal.

He picked his helmet up and stormed back to the chamber where he had last seen her, neglecting to put the helmet back on, murder in his heart.

He stalked the length of a Jedi temple bare-faced, not realizing it.

The halls were empty.

Rayne was alone in the chamber, trying to focus.

She’d had an unusual amount of trouble over the last twenty minutes, unsure as to why. Jenkins had left to prepare some tea to see if that would help.

And so it was that she was alone with her eyes already closed and her back to the door when Din stepped in with his helmet off.

Something was wrong.

Something was so, very wrong.

She opened her eyes but did not turn around, blood running cold in her veins. “Din…?”

“You murdered him.” His voice was little more than a low, hard growl.

“What?”

“You heard me.” She felt his boot between her shoulder blades as he kicked her forward. She fell into it and rolled to her back, eyes still closed, and heard the clatter of his helmet hitting the floor before he stepped forward and snapped binders onto her wrists. He hauled her up by the shoulders, hands gripping hard enough to bruise, and slammed her back to the wall. “You murdered our son.” He threw his memory at her, the dying memory of his sweet, innocent, little boy.

Her own face. One of Xi’an’s blades in her hand. Covered in her son’s blood.

Oh, shit.

Rayne scrambled for an answer in her mind. This was either a Sith attack, or a Council simulation of one. Both had grave consequences, but it was best to treat it like the real thing.

“Din, you need to put your helmet back on. Right now.” The beskar would protect him from a distant attack. A closer one, though… she wasn’t sure.

Instead, he pinned her to the wall with his left forearm across her chest. With his right hand, he drew his knife from his boot, and brought it to her throat.

And with that one motion, he broke his promise to her.

A promise made months ago. His vow to never draw a weapon on her again. The vow he had resigned himself to breaking, but under what he had planned for being very different circumstances. Her unwilling submission to the Dark Side. A gradual slide that would have displayed symptoms, nightmares, things that would have prepared him, things that would have told him that her actions were no longer according to her will, and thus would have broken his heart in a slow, soft way.

But not this. Not this sudden betrayal. She’d played him for months. Played at caring for him, played at caring for both him and his son, played at wanting a family. Only to turn around and destroy it in an instant. This… this had broken his heart with a brittle snap.

In this moment, that promise was the last thing on his mind.

“Look at me,” he growled.

“No.”

“Look at me!” Suddenly a roar.

“No.” His rage, hot and overwhelming, poured over her. His raw desire to plunge his knife through her throat bled out of his thoughts and into her mind. And the thing was… he was holding back. He wanted his revenge hot. Wanted to take his time with it. Wanted to make her suffer. Wanted it to get messy. Everything she had warned him against was ignored in this moment in his indulgence of hate and wrath.

It would slow him down, and she hoped she could use it to her advantage.

“Why aren’t you wearing your helmet, Din?”

“You murdered him. You were his mother. I let you be his mother. You pretended to be his mother. You let him think you were his mother. He called you buir and you let him do it. Our son! You swore an oath to our son and you did this!” His voice grated like broken glass.

Rayne cast about, searching for the source of Din’s delusions, trying to determine what she was fighting against before she did anything that would only catch him in the crossfire. His blinding rage made the task nearly impossible, like searching for distant stars while they were blocked out by the sun at high noon.

His weight against her chest pressed harder. “Look at me.” His Mando’a accent was coming on full force, rolling his R’s and raising his vowels. “I should’ve seen this coming.” He swallowed, then sucked in a sudden breath of air. “I did see this coming. At Takodana. You as much admitted that you would sacrifice him. For the good of the fucking galaxy. Then we got here. You realized he was too powerful. Too tempting for the Imps. You realized he’s not safe here, either. So you went and fucking did it.”

“No… Din… that’s not… “

She felt the stubble on his jaw as he brought the side of his face to hers. “That’s not why? What, then. Was it because you didn’t want to be his mother? Because he wasn’t your own blood? Because the Jedi cut that part out of you?” She almost opened her eyes on him for that one.

“Was it because you can’t give us a child of our own?” He released his arm from her chest, blade still at her throat, and slid his free hand down, his fingers gliding low over her belly and her skin crawled. “Because what I give you has nothing to take root in?” His voice betrayed a tremor. “That we can’t mix our blood and make a life?” He brought his lips close to her ear. “You know that means nothing to me. You know this. You know what matters more. That we protect the son that we had at all costs. That we shed our own blood for him. We did that. Both of us opened our veins for him. And then you turned and opened his.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Please,” she felt his breath hot on her skin. “Stop lying to me.”

“Din…”

He backed off just enough to be able to look at her face. “Was it because you didn’t want him to be raised as a Mandalorian at all? Because maybe he’d take up the armor? And you couldn’t handle the thought of that. Because you flinch every time you see me in it. Because you can’t stand the sight of me, and you couldn’t stand the thought of our son wearing it too. Because it reminds you of a man who was nothing more than a clone of a fake Mandalorian who sold himself to the Republic.”

He brought his left hand up to her throat, and her breath began to whistle as he slid the flat of his blade down her sternum. “Helmet’s off, Rayne. Get a good look. I’m nothing like him. No chip in my head. Not programmed to kill you, like some droid. I’m going to kill you because I want to. Because of what you did.”

Breathing was getting difficult. She wasn’t sure how long she could go before she would be forced to act blindly, not knowing what she was fighting. She kept looking. Kept looking but not seeing…

“Was it because you thought I would devote him to the manda and leave you behind?” He pressed his head to hers. “I never told you. It’s too late for me. I’m already dar’manda. I lost my soul the moment I swore the Creed to the people who murdered my parents.” He pressed his lips to the skin just next to her eye. “You might as well look. There’s nothing to see. I have no soul.” He pulled away just enough for her to see his face if she chose to do so, but she did not.  

“Do you know what dar’buir means?”

She’d never heard the phrase before, but it was easy enough to string together. “I know what it means.”

“Say it.”

“No.”

He brought his head to hers once more. “It’s what you’ve made us. Now that you’ve taken our son, you are no longer a mother. I am no longer a father. I have no soul. I have no son. I no longer serve a purpose.” He placed the hilt of his blade in her bound hands, angling the point to his gut, just below the bottom of his chestplate. “End it. Finish what you started and end me. I want to look my murderer in the eye when it happens. Please give me that much.”

“I didn’t do this.” Her mind raced. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” His voice was a low growl.

“I was so focused on teaching Yadier how to… how to protect himself from the Dark Side… it never occurred to me to teach you. Put your helmet on. Please. You have to put your helmet on. Someone else… someone’s in your head. Put your helmet on and it’ll stop.”

“Sorcery and fairy tales,” he grated out. He took his knife back. “Was it because you wanted to see what you were worth to me without him? Because you didn’t know what you were to me? Because I could only connect myself to you through him?”

Now, she felt hot tears on her face. They were not her own. “I loved him.” The tears soaked through his voice. “You murdered someone I loved. And of all the things you could’ve used to do it, you…” A small choking sound hung in his throat. “You used the blade that belonged to someone who…” Now his body shook against hers. “Someone who’d had all the love beaten out of her. Got… turned into a monster. Someone I abandoned because that monster scared the shit out of me. I didn’t lift a finger to help her. I turned tail like a coward and I ran.” He swallowed a sob. “And you killed our son with her blade.”

Now his rage was shot through with sorrow, and that was somehow worse. It was all so real as it soaked through her with his tears.

“He loved you, Rayne. He loved you so much. I thought you loved him. You had me convinced. I really thought you loved him. I thought, maybe…” He paused, trying to steady himself, taking long breaths. “I thought maybe you loved me too.” He swallowed again, his mouth dry. “Did you ever love me? Were you ever even capable of it?”

She bit the tears back, refusing to answer him this way.

He mistook her silence as a “No.”

His sorrow fell away and was replaced by anger as he pulled her head away from the wall only to slam her back.

For one terrifying second, her eyes flew open at the impact. She didn’t see much. Through the tears and the blur of motion, she only caught a vague impression of his face; a dark mop of hair, brows over brown eyes, chiseled jaw. But mostly what she saw was rage.

White. Hot. Rage.

 She didn’t know where his manipulator was. She didn’t know how far away. She didn’t know if she could break through it. She did know he would kill her if she didn’t try.

“I love Yadier, Din.”

“You murdered him.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I watched it happen. I watched you murder our son. He trusted you. He loved you. I trusted you.” She felt his head press against hers once more, his breath ragged. “I loved you.”

Oh, god.

Then he really started to squeeze, and she struggled to breathe.

“I want to see your eyes when you die. I want to see your eyes when I do to you what you did to our son.”

She was at the end of her rope. Now or never. “I’m… sorry… Din…”

She brought everything she had to the front of her mind, focused it to a sharp point, and threw it at him.

His hand left her throat and she heard him land a few meters away, armor clanking, helmet skittering along the floor. “PUT IT ON!” she shouted. She shouted and envisioned it at the same time, pushing under the foreign Force that had gripped him, replacing it, grasping for the helmet with his hands. She felt him struggle against her, felt something that wasn’t him resist her. Drawing another breath, she threw her mind against the Darkness, screaming with the effort.

In that brief moment, the Darkness lifted from Din’s mind, and he saw clearly.

In all that horrible clarity, he understood.

He reached for the helmet, grabbed it, and once again, felt the Darkness wrap around him, catch his arms, push the helmet away. He looked to Rayne, still shackled, eyes closed, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth, chest heaving as she sucked in as much air as she could. “Help!” he called out.

He felt her response immediately, felt her hands in his mind, felt them push their way down from his shoulders, down his arms, joining with his own hands, her arms joining with his arms, and together they brought the helmet to his head, together they fought against the Darkness, and finally slammed it home.

The Darkness fell away.

Banished by the beskar.

Rayne sank to her knees.

What have I done?

She heard ragged gasps from under the helmet as he struggled to regain himself. She heard the clink of a knife being picked up and shoved back into a boot, the scrape of beskar sliding across the floor, approaching, Din apparently not trusting his legs.

She was shaking. “Ni ceta… I’m so sorry…” he said, voice pitched low, wavering, and she turned her face towards him, eyes still closed. He undid the binders on her hands. He held her steady as they both sank to the floor. “You can open your eyes now.” He brought her hands to the helmet, all the proof he could give her. “Please open your eyes.”

She complied, and something in his chest nearly crushed him to death when he saw how bloodshot her eyes were. “What the hell was that?”

“Dark Side,” she said. She brought a hand up to grasp a pauldron. “I’m sorry… I didn’t think to train you against it…”

“No… no, no… I’m sorry. I almost killed you…” His hand shook as he wiped the blood away from her mouth. Her throat was already starting to turn purple. He knew the lines would match the shape of his own hand, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle the sight of it. “I saw… god… it looked so real… Rayne… I’m so sorry…”

“Who took your helmet off?”

“No one. I was alone. I… thought I was alone. I was just getting some water. I’d just gotten through a flask of water when I saw…” He dropped his head, unable to stifle the shudder that wracked through him. “I saw you kill him. I saw you kill Yadier. It sounds so crazy now, but it was so real…”

“It wasn’t. Someone got into your head. Someone knew what would hurt you the most and put it there.”

“I heard him cry, Rayne. I heard him scream.” The words choked out of the modulator and he couldn’t stop shaking.

“I know. I know how real it seems. We have to get out of here. We have to find him.”

A small figure entered the chamber. Yandia. “A test, this was. Passed it, you did not.”

Rayne felt Din’s body flood with rage once more. “You did this? You did this to me?”

“What you are up against I showed you. Vulnerable to the Dark Side you are.”

“It’s my fault,” Rayne broke in. “I didn’t prepare him. It never occurred to me that the Sith would bother with anyone who wasn’t Force-sensitive.”

“Anyone who claims to guard one as powerful as Yadier, the Sith will attack. Unqualified you are.”

Din’s body was still tense as he kept himself between Yandia and Rayne. “I can train for Force-resistance.  Let me train for this.”

“Half your lifespan you have lived. Difficult such training will be. Success, I doubt.”

“He’s my son. Let me be a father to my son.” Din’s tone was an odd mix of pleading and anger.

“Consider it, we will. Reunited for now, you are.” Yandia beckoned beyond the doorway, and Yadier toddled around the corner, much to his parents’ relief. “Shielded from your ordeal he was. Know of your pain he does not.”

Sensing his parents’ inability to move, the youngling crossed the distance between them as quickly as his little legs would carry him, arms outstretched. “Buir!” he cried as he collapsed into their pile on the floor.

Din scooped him up and held him tightly in one arm, Rayne in the other. “Ad’ika,” he murmured. “Oh, ad’ika, you’re ok…”

They were left alone to huddle like that for a long time.

“I’m sorry,” Din repeated, his trembling abated, his hold on his family still tight.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” Rayne said, her head nestled in the space between his chestplate, pauldron, and helmet, one arm wrapped around his back.

“That’s the thing…” he paused, gathering himself. “I meant a lot of it. Fears I thought I was over.” He paused again, unsure, then decided that if he was speaking about truth, then all of it was necessary. “Something I wasn’t ready to admit.”

Rayne took a deep breath. “That’s how the Dark Side works. It takes what you know and twists it inside out. Makes your actions the lie.”

Yes, that was it, exactly. Her understanding melted away a small part of his guilt. But there was so much more hanging over them. “Rayne… do you…” The words hung in his throat, and he hated that he couldn’t seem to say them now, on his own, when he wasn’t being manipulated.

“Let’s do that part over later, ok? Not here. Not like this.”

He let out a relieved breath. “Yes. Later.”

Yadier burbled, apparently agreeing with their decision. As if to seal the deal, he turned to his mother, crawled into her lap, and reached up with his hands. Taking his meaning, Rayne leaned her face down to him so he could place his hands on her, one on her face, one on her throat. They both closed their eyes and she sighed as she felt the Force of her son flow through her, heal the bruise she knew had been forming at her throat, heal the bloodshot of her eyes that she had seen in her reflection from Din’s helmet. When he was done, he released his mother and smiled, letting out a happy coo. Din ran a finger along his son’s ear. “Good work, verd’ika.”

Yandia and Jenkins returned to the chamber, joined by Ona, Yandia clearing his throat to announce their presence. “Much to discuss, you and I have, Mandalorian. Rayne and Master Jenkins have much work to do as well. Master Ona can bring Yadier back to class.”

The clan of Rollins-Djarin picked themselves up. Din handed Yadier to Ona with one last tap of his forehead to Yadier’s, their little boy squeaking with happiness and a wave goodbye. He then held both of Rayne’s hands in his. They were still for a moment, as she gazed through the visor, knowing he was meeting her gaze with his own. When he was ready, he tipped his head and they released each other at the same time, and he followed Yandia out into the hall.

Jenkins motioned to a small table in the corner of the chamber with cups and a kettle.

“So. About that tea…”

[prettyfics]

Steve Harrington x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: not a lot, swearing, just a lil implied smut at the end, she/her pronouns used. Not proofed, may be some grammar and spelling errors.

Word count: 650+

Even though there's no actual smut MDNI please

Not my gif

Summary: Domestic fluff - Steve gets home from work to see reader has started to decorate the nursery.

Steve watched as he leant on the door frame to the spare room, he needed to stop calling it the spare room because well it wouldn’t be spare for much longer. He watched his girlfriend as she sat on the floor legs crossed, underneath the window painting around the edge of the frame very precisely and carefully.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to wait” he said smile on his face. She turned her head with a matching smile when she saw him walking towards her, she held her hands up for him to help her up and he pulled her up with ease to her feet.

“Do you like it?” She beamed, her smile not leaving her face as her arms wrapped around his waist as far as her stomach would let them go he let his hands rest on the small of her back.

“I love it”  he placed a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s such a nice colour right? I’m glad we picked this one” she spun in his arms his hands now resting on her round hard stomach as she stared at the one half painted wall proudly.

“It’s perfect” he spoke nuzzling his nose into the side of her head “every thing you do is perfect”

“the people are coming to fit the carpet tomorrow so I wanted to start straight away, save us getting any paint on the new carpet”

“good thinking batman”

“I just need you to do the tops of the wall” she craned her neck to the side to see him, true to her word she hadn't used the ladders, she had only painted 3/4 of the wall leaving him to do the rest “I knew you’d shout at me if I used the ladders unsupervised”

“I don’t want you doing too much, we only have 6 weeks left, we gotta be careful, I don’t want anything happening to my girls” his hands circled her bump rubbing softly.

“stop it, we don’t even know what we’re having” she laughed placing her hands on top of his

“it's a girl, I feel it, in my gut”

“yeah well I feel her in my actual gut”

“Ha! See, you said her” he laughed and she hit him playfully on the chest spinning back around into his arms.

He looked down at his perfect girlfriend, hair up in a messy bun, little specs of dried paint on her face, her bright eyes staring up at him with nothing but love in them, he doesn’t know how he got so lucky and he didn’t want to question it too much for fear of realising he actually didn’t deserve her. But they’d been together 5 years now and he didn’t want to imagine his life without her and to be honest he doesn’t quite remember life before her.

“What are you thinking about” she said breaking him from his trance and he bought both hands up cupping her face and placing a sweet kiss on her lips.

“I was just thinking about how” kiss “beautiful” kiss “you” kiss “are” his last kiss making her giggle, pulling away and biting her lip. “You’ve got that look in your eye” her face dropped, lip falling from her teeth.

“What look?” she queried a little bit too defensively

“Your horny look”

“fuck off no i don’t” he raised his eyebrows “fine, I cant help it, these hormones are making me horny 24/7 lately” her hands smoothed down his chest.

“I know I have the bite marks to prove it” she smiled quite proudly of that achievement “anyway, I gotta shower before Robin gets here” he removed her hands that had now made their way to his belt buckle and he placed them by her sides before walking away.

“maybe I’ll join”

“Oh you will?” he had already started to walk out the room and she followed hot on his tail, she wasn't ready to give up this battle.

“Mmhmm, or maybe I will sort out my problem, myself” she sad walking past him in the hallway but she didn’t get far before she felt a tight pull on her wrist pulling her into him.

“I don’t think so" he spun her around pushing her in the direction of the bathroom giving her a light smack on her ass "get that ass in the shower”

She giggled, an extra pep in her step as he watched her walk to the bathroom. Steve Harrington couldn't deny her anything and the worst thing was, she knew it.

[copperbadge]

I have zero experience with Adderall but I wanted to ask if you feel any, I guess, momentum for accomplishing things even when it wears off? One of my major "tasks I can't force myself to start" is my bedtime routine (washing my face, brushing/flossing my teeth, a couple of other steps), so I don't end up falling asleep in my work clothes with my light on sometime between 8 and 10pm, but obviously I wouldn't still want the Adderall to be fully in effect at that point because, well, I need to sleep. Does the relief of having ability to accomplish things while on Adderall give you any kind of boost even when it's wearing off?

Yeah, the bedtime routine can be rough. I used to have a list of all the steps tacked up on my bathroom mirror, so a) I wouldn't forget any and b) they'd seem more manageable since I only had to do one at a time. Ironically, I found the more elaborate I made the routine the less I needed this, so for the last few years it's like a half-hour performance art piece before I crawl into bed. Bananas.

The short version of the answer is "Yes, but not how you think." Here's the longer version, with a few caveats: I have only been taking Adderall for a month, my diagnosis is inattentive-only and mild to begin with, and drug interactions can vary greatly from person to person, so this is my experience, not a universal constant.

For me, the primary impact of the medication isn't more energy; there is some increased mental clarity, but the biggest effect is that I see a task, I think "I should do that", and then instead of going "I can't, I don't feel like I can" for an hour before managing it, or forgetting to do it, I just...go ahead and do it. Sometimes I'll even see a task, go "I can't, it's so unpleasant, I don't want to" and decide not to do it, then find myself doing it anyway without consciously deciding to. Which is awesome but also quite the trip at first.

The effect wears down after about three hours and wears off completely in about five. After it wears off, I don't retain that "okay but I'll just go ahead and do it" sensibility, but I do have more energy than I would normally have at that point in the day, because I haven't spent the last five hours fighting my own brain. Two doses over the course of a full workday leaves me way more energy than I would normally have at the end of the day. So I eat a better dinner, I do more hobbies, I can read or answer email in the evenings. I can work during the day and write in the evening instead of putting off work during the day so that I can write before I get tired.

So it's not that the drug's still doing something, but that the drug basically gives me the equivalent of a free four-hour nap. On top of that, I feel better about myself overall because I did my work and my chores, so usually nothing awful is looming over my head.

Thinking on it, I was also already living in a way that was optimized for this kind of medication, so this is bonus material but may help you out too. I get up very early -- my normal rising time used to be 3, it's now edging closer to 5 -- which allows me morning time to eat an early breakfast, goof around, and do as I please until it's time to get ready for work around 8am for an 8:30 start. At that point I take my medication on an "empty stomach" (at least two hours after eating) and then go straight into the shower, after which I dress, feed the cats, and fix myself a big jug of icewater to keep at my desk. This is timed out so that right as I'm sitting down, the meds kick in and I can answer email, square away anything left over from yesterday's work, and get a jump on the day.

Because I ate breakfast so early I usually eat a snack around 10am, which means when the Adderall is wearing off around 1pm I can take another one on another "empty stomach" and then have a second snack at 2pm. That all sees me through the end of the workday and I have a handful of evening hours for chores, hobbies, etc after which I go to bed early enough (7pm-9pm generally) that I'm not entirely worn out when it's time to start the evening routine.

It's not a perfect system (evening socializing doesn't really happen, and I never really eat a full meal during daylight hours) but it works pretty well for me, and the Adderall slotted right in there very easily.

In any case if you're looking into medication, good luck! I was shocked at how well the meds work for me, and I hope they work as well for you!

[oddaodd]

· I Don't Go In For Sweets ·

Request: by a lovely anon "set after the events of season 3. Tommy can't handle the company, he's still grieving and he has to be there for Charlie so Polly tells him she knows a girl from a good family to get married He ends up agreeing (aunt Pol can be very persuasive) but even though he's married, this new girl isn't considered as a wife. He doesn't really make any effort but his "wife" understands, he's a widowed father who lost his first wife only a year ago. However since they are...in this, she wants to make her time as enjoyable as possible for the both of them and for Charlie too. But no matter what Tommy makes it a point of honor to not let her in, to not let her replace Grace so he ignores her, he works more, tries to spend as little as possible in the house. Reader stays patient, it will be alright and Charlie is making her quite busy anyway. One night, Tommy comes home completely drunk and maybe a bit high too, he can't even make it to his office. Thankfully Reader is still awake, she takes care of him and Tommy just...melts at how gentle Reader is, he may be able to keep his distant while sober but it's much harder in his state. He admits to her how he's been feeling and all. Ever since that night, something changed, Tommy feels some comfort, some solace being around her, she accepts him wholly, even his flaws, the bad side of his business and she tries to provide some sort of safe place for when it gets too hard." (I edited the request because it was very long, but I kept all essential parts in there)

Author’s note: I loved loved loved writing this and it ended up being SUPER long, but I’m very happy with how it turned out. As always, I hope you like it and have the loveliest of days!

Warnings: season 3 SPOILERS sort of, but not really, still read at your own risk. Arranged marriage, mentions of alcohol and drugs, angst.

·

“Thomas, you may not be able to see it, but you’re breaking apart” Polly spoke with a sigh as she lit a cigarette after everyone was dismissed from a family meeting.

Everyone had left Tommy’s office in arrow house rather gaily after receiving their fair compensations for partaking in the whole Russian ordeal, all except Polly, who remained where she sat, wishing for a word with her nephew

Tommy merely scoffed at her concern before lighting his own cigarette and taking a puff “I’ll be alright”

“And Charlie?” Pol pressed knowing Tommy’s mourning was not only affecting him, but Charlie as well. “What about him?”

“He’s fine” He said before turning around to look through the window, ignoring his Aunt’s heavy stare.

“You take too much after your mother” she sighed half angry half sad “she too loved pretending everything was alright and I don’t need to remind you where that lead her”

Tommy sighed deeply, he knew he could fool anyone. Anyone but Polly. “We’ll manage”

“Consider my offer” Polly said standing up and making her way to the door “Y/n is a good girl from a good family” she persuaded before leaving the room.

Tommy sighed at his Aunt’s words, he wasn’t ready to get married again even when he knew the woman he would be marrying was a nice one. He felt like he was spitting on Grace’s grave and he hated himself for even considering the prospect, but he knew a mother figure would be good for Charlie.

He spent the rest of the day pondering about Polly’s suggestion and remembering his own childhood in the shadow of the absent tortured presence that his mother had been. It didn’t take him long to decide he didn’t want that for Charlie, so that same night he phoned Polly.

“I’ll do it” was all he said before hanging up. There was no need for more words, Polly would know exactly what he meant.

Exactly a week later, Tom was standing in the altar of a church that was significantly smaller than the one from his first wedding. The fact that everything about this wedding was so obscenely different from his first did soothe his guilt a bit. And as he stood there he couldn’t keep his mind from traveling to the days leading up to his wedding to Grace. She had made sure everything was perfect and had made an effort to invite every single relative she could think of. She remembered her rambling on an on about fabrics, insisting that everything ought to be perfect when he in all honestly couldn’t care less, he just wanted to marry her.

All his thoughts vanished away with a poof when Y/n came into sight. And what a sight she was. She had insisted on doing her own makeup and on pinning flowers to her hair to compliment her headpiece and her elegant, yet simple white dress flowed almost mystically as her father gave her away. She had never imagined she would be marrying someone she didn’t know, but she wanted to look her best for getting married is not something people do everyday.

When she stood in the altar, she offered her to be husband a smile which he did not return, instead turning his attention to the priest before them. She mirrored his actions, her heart beating violently under her chest as the priest began speaking.

It all felt like a blur, she could swear it had only been a second since her father had given her away and yet, the priest had already uttered the dreaded “you may now kiss the bride”

Tommy barely brushed his lips against hers and soon the sound of everyone clapping invaded her ears. They had a small party afterwards in Y/n’s former house. Her parents had invited pretty much all of their acquaintances while tommy had only invited his close relatives.

When night fell Tommy was more than ready to leave “Are you ready to go?” was one of the few sentences he uttered to his now wife that night.

She again offered him a smile before saying “yeah just let me say goodbye”

The drive to arrow house was tense, although Y/n didn’t know Thomas very well she would tell he was unhappy. She wondered about what to say to him, but couldn’t come up with anything good enough and soon enough they were pulling over in front of Tommy’s stately home.

“Charlie must already be asleep, but I'll introduce you tomorrow” he said opening Y/n’s door for her.

“It’s alright” she said looking at him, not quite knowing what to do next.

“Your parents sent some of your belongings, I've already asked the maids to take them up to your-our room” he said

“Thank you, Thomas” she smiled as she walked into the big house not yet feeling close enough to him to call him Tommy.

His name falling from her lips caused an echo of bittersweet emotions to stir inside him but he masked it perfectly well as she introduced Y/n to the maids that went to the door to take their coats.

“Frances here will show you the way to the room” he said after having made introductions.

“This way, Mrs” Frances politely said.

Y/n began following her but stopped when she didn’t hear Tommy’s footsteps behind her own.

“Are you not coming?” she asked turning to look at him.

“Maybe in a bit” was all he said before he walked away down one of the many spacious hallways of the house.

After Y/n made herself comfortable in the room and changed into her nightgown she took the time to peek around the room like one always does when one is a strange place. After familiarizing herself with it she laid down in the big bed. She was nervous, she knew what happened on wedding nights. A small chuckle stopped at her lips when she recalled the stories her close already married girlfriends told her. If she hadn’t married a complete stranger she too would be looking forward to it.

Her thoughts ended up luring her to sleep after a while despite her nerves and the night went by in a ridiculously fast flash. The next morning she woke up alone and after getting ready she made her way downstairs. Tommy and Charlie were already in the dining room when she entered it.

“good morning” she said

Charlie immediately turned his attention to her, his eyes widening while his dad merely glanced at her while he muttered a “Good morning “ of his own.

Y/n sat down next to Tommy while he cleared his throat “charles, this is Y/n. We got married yesterday so she’ll be living with us from now on”

Charlie merely nodded in understanding before playing around with his food.

A tense air flooded breakfast until Tommy stood up, having barely touched his food and spoke turning to look at Y/n “I have to go now, if you need anything feel free to ask Frances”

“Alright” Y/n replied feeling a bit disappointed, she would love to get to know him, but she already knew it was going to be difficult.

“I have to go too” Charlie announced in a timid voice, interrupting Y/n’s thoughts. Despite her disappointment she understood, maybe he was just shy and his dad just reticent. They had lost a wife and a mother after all.

The first few days after that, Charlie avoided her nearly as much as his father did and Y/n remained in lonely patience until one night Charlie’s cries interrupted her focus on the book that she had just bought. She rushed to his room and called out his name as she entered not knowing if the boy would be comfortable with her or not.

“What is it?” she asked worried as she knelt by his bed.

“I miss my mum” the boy confessed looking at her with teary eyes as he clutched his blanket.

Y/n felt her heart give a small ache at his confession and in an attempt to comfort him she spoke “She’s not really gone, you know?”

“She’s dead” the boy sobbed.

“but people who die, don’t leave us. Not really anyhow” she said hesitantly rubbing his arm. “just because we cant see them doesn’t mean they are not here”

“I miss seeing her” he continued.

“Oh but you can still see her”

“how”

“before you go to bed just think about her, then she’ll visit you in your dreams” Y/n spoke as if she was telling a fairy tale.

“really?” the boy’s eyes widened.

“really” Y/n confirmed “But you have to think really really hard”

“I’ll try” Charlie said having calmed down a bit.

“very well” Y/n said as she stood up, but Charlie’s voice stopped her.

“can you stay till I fall asleep?”

After that night, Charlie hardly left Y/n’s side and she felt much better with his company for she was sure if he wasn’t there keeping her on her toes all day she would fall into a depressive chasm induced by her husband’s absence.

On the rare moments he was home she tried to strike up conversation with him over breakfast or late at night when he came home and she was burdened by insomnia. But Tommy only humored her with a few short responses before excusing himself or turning to face the other side of the bed.

It wasn’t only the fact that he avoided her as much as he could, but he also made it a priority to exclude her at all times. She was never invited into family meetings or night’s at The Garrison so she thought it was a miracle when tommy didn’t oppose to her planning Charlie’s birthday party.

She invited only Tommy’s family which instantly warmed up to her, noticing what a good influence she was and Polly wanted to slap Thomas for the way he had been acting throughout his marriage to Y/n. Almost feeling guilty for getting her into this mess.

When the party ended Tommy shut himself in his office like he often did when he was at home and though he had never given Y/n a reason to believe she was welcome in there of all places, she found herself allowing herself in after putting Charlie to bed.

Tommy looked up as she entered and let out a sigh before turning his attention back to some papers he had been reading.

“I noticed you didn’t have any” she commented not letting his sigh deflate her as she laid a plate with a slice of homemade chocolate cake on his desk. “it’s really good if I may say so myself” she mused sitting down in a chair opposite to his as she dug in with a fork in her own slice.

“I don’t go in for sweets” he stated.

“Not even chocolate?” Y/n tried, but tommy didn’t answer, instead he just shook his head.

“I still think you should try it, it’s not overly sweet, and…”

“is there anything you need?” he interrupted bluntly a bit harsher than he would’ve liked.

His tone caught her off guard and when she couldn’t come up with an answer tommy again turned his attention back to his papers.

“I wish you could let me in” She softly confessed after a few tense seconds.

“Well I wish we hadn’t married but I guess things don’t always go the way we want them to go”

Tommy knew he had crossed a line by the silence that again settled into the room. He looked up at Y/n with her parted lips and misty eyes. They exchanged glances for a second but instead of allowing him to see her like that any longer, she stood up setting her plate on his desk and walked away, only allowing a few tears to drop by when she was out of the room and his sight.

After that she stopped trying to get closer to him. He still loved his late wife and she understood, people in grief never mean what they say after all, but his words stung nonetheless.

She stopped trying to wait for him at night to see if he had gotten home alright and during breakfast she only uttered polite good mornings.

One night however, Y/n was yanked out of a peaceful sleep by a loud crash. She was on her feet in no time and after checking into Charlie’s room to see if he was alright she cautiously ventured downstairs. A few incoherent mumbles filled her ears before her husband came into sight, fumbling with his coat to get it off.

“need help?” she asked earning his attention.

“I’m fine” he said finally taking it off but as he went to take a step to begin walking the floor under him moved and he lost his balance, his knees crashing loudly against the wooden floor.

Y/n offered him a hand and helped him up. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands were shaky, consequence of the snow, no doubt. “let’s get you upstairs”

“I can do it on me own” he slurred letting go of her hand.

“stop being so stubborn” she derided, snaking one of her arms around his waist as she helped him upstairs.

Y/n helped him into bed, tookoff his shoes and went to the bathroom to fetch a small towel and some cold water.

She dampened the towel with the cold water before dabing it gently on Tommy’s forehead. His eyes never leaving her face as she did so, making her grow a bit nervous. She continued, trying her best to ignore it until she felt his hand softly caressing her cheek.

“You are beautiful” he rasped.

“Stop it, Thomas” she said feeling her cheeks grow red when she felt a bit sad that he had to be completely drunk to compliment her.

Even in his drunken state he seemed to notice he was making her uncomfortable so he held his tongue until Y/n laid in bed next to him after turning on the lights.

“I’m sorry” he interrupted the silence “For the way I’ve been acting” the whiskey and cocaine making him more vulnerable and open “I guess I was afraid that if I let you in then she would disappear”

He didn’t expect her to answer, but then her voice came in a soft exhausted tone“ I don’t intend to replace her. You don’t need to act all defensive and secretive. Even if it’s not what you wanted, we are married.”

“I Know” was all he said.

Y/n expected him to withdraw more from her after showing himself that vulnerable to her that night but she was wrong. He began arriving home earlier, sometimes even asking if he could come along on the walks she and Charlie so much adored going on. And Y/n finally felt her marriage was going somewhere maybe it wasn’t based on love yet, but it was something.

One day she was at the stables while Charlie was taking a nap. She had always adored horses.

“I didn’t know you liked horses” came Tommy’s smooth voice causing her to jump.

“You never asked” she smiled petting a black horse as he walked closer to her.

“We could go out for a ride, I’m sure Charlie wouldn’t mind letting you borrow his horse” Tommy offered as he too began to pet the horse, his fingers brushing against Y/n’s for a brief second.

“I’d love to, but I am afraid I don’t know how to ride, Tommy” she said, panicking for a second after having called him that. But she rested assured as soon as he spoke again.

“Well that can be fixed” he said opening the door of the stall and guiding the horse outside.

“You mean now?” Y/n asked with a laugh.

“Got something better to do?” he asked walking out of the stable with the horse. Y/n observed tommy as he prepared the horse. She had never seen him so gentle and calm before and she only realized she had been staring when Tommy directed his attention to her to ask her if she was ready.

“I think so” she said going to stand next to the horse wondering how the hell to climb up. But before she had any more time to think she felt Tommy’s hands on her waist giving her a push that allowed her to pull herself up on the animal. It was a good thing she had chosen to wear slacks that day, she thought.

“Goodness this is high” she said nervously looking down at Tommy when he began guiding the horse to move in a slow walk.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall” he promised repressing a mirthful tone at her nervousness.

He guided the horse with her around the property in the crisp evening air and Y/n allowed herself to relax with every step the horse took. Tommy’s presence made her feel safe and protected and she found it increasingly harder to look away from his figure. She wondered if he could feel her eyes on him.

When the sky began turning soft shades of purple and orange the pair returned to the stables. When the time came from Y/n to come down from the horse, tommy helped her again. Y/n began to love the feeling of him touching her and when her feet touched the ground in front of Thomas, he didn’t remove his hands from her waist right away and instead fixed his blue eyes on her, not wanting to stop looking at her.

She too fixed her eyes on Tommy as she felt a silent gasp in the base of her throat. That was the way she would’ve liked him to look at her on their wedding day. Tommy then leaned in, almost as if he were asking for permission before he tenderly pressed his lips to Y/n’s.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @slytherinicequeen @lilymurphy03

[cyncerity]

Finding Family

Chapter 3

1 2 3

notes:

ITS HERE IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER

Literally I’ve had this moment in the plot planned for months. I’m talking probably more than half a year. It’s been in the making for a while, which might explain why it’s so long, i’m so sorry it’s like 4k words.

with that said, tw for panic attack, angst, and general cursing, and i hope you enjoy!!

The day it all started began fairly normal. The humans in their apartments woke up and made breakfast, like any other day, and the borrowers in their walls minded their business while waiting for the humans to leave.

On this particular day, however, three of those said borrowers were preparing for what may be the riskiest thing they ever did.

“And you’re sure this is a good idea?”

“Of course, bossman! We’ll be careful, promise.” Tommy said as he finished rewrapping the line to his hook, triple checking it before passing it off to his nervous looking best friend. Tubbo looked down at the hook and Tommy sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We run at the first sign of trouble, nothing bad will happen. It’s just a little detective work nothing serious.” Tubbo laughed half heartedly. “Right, just a little detective work to see what’s up. Mom and Dad won’t even notice I’m missing.”

“We ready to go?” Ranboo interjected, coming up to the two with packs of back up rope and supplies he had been packing. Tommy looked to Tubbo, waiting for approval.

“Yeah, we’re ready.”

…

Packing up for a long trek was always quite a task. For Charlie, most of the time all he needed was a backpack, knowing fully well that Schlatt’s apartment was fully accommodated to him and it would be an easy trip. But going with other borrowers? That was different.

So he dressed himself like anyone else would, with backup food, water, ropes, and weapons in case there were any “wild animals.” He looked to Mochi, who was minding her own business at the other end of the room being fed by Minx, and laughed to himself. What kind of wild animals were they concerned about, anyway?

Minus Jambo. Seriously, fuck that cat.

It didn’t take Charlie long to find his group and meet up with them. He was accompanied by his captain, of course, and two rookies. Fundy, who’d gone borrowing a few times for survival purposes only before moving there and becoming a guard member. Apparently, though, since Charlie had been to Schlatt’s apartment numerous times with no issue, they said Fundy should try picking up borrowing again, despite his fear of humans. Meanwhile, Aimsey seemed over the moon. This borrower was younger than any of them, but had been bugging the captain to go borrowing, wanting to help out their colony any way they could, and this was their first time.

And with a few reminders from the captain and a review of the rules, they were off.

…

“So we just…wait here?” “It’s called a stakeout, boob boy.” Tommy sighed, holding a poorly handmade telescope through a high vent grate. “We wait here for the other borrowers to show up and watch them for any sus behavior. I saw it in one of Tubbo’s weird movies once.” “Isn’t that just stalking?” “We are far too cool for ‘stalking,’ its a stakeout.” “Quiet! Both of you, look!!” Tubbo interjected, pointing up to the kitchen counter. The thre of them watched as Charlie pushed a roll of paper towels away, gesturing to the kitchen, though they were too far away to hear anything being said. And they watched as three more people came from behind him, all strangers. One was tall and nervous looking, white streaks through his ginger hair. And with his pointed ears and slits for pupils, he looked almost fox like. And if they were gonna use animals for comparison, the next one, wearing a patchwork of blue and stripes and long hair under a beanie of sorts, was almost reminiscent of a bunny, the way they were bouncing and barely staying still, having a shocking amount of energy for a borrower even shorter than Tubbo. And the reason for their excitement seemed to come from the last stranger, who was talking to the three. For some reason, Tubbo got a sinking feeling in his gut while looking at him. He tried to ignore it and just focus on how he looked and not why the very presence of him made him feel as awful as it did. So he just looked, especially taking note of how odd he was compared to the other three. He had short brunette hair, and a red and gold pitare-looking jacket on, which struck Tubbo as odd. What borrower would go out of their way to make an expensive looking coat? Who would even get him those supplies? Wh- “Is that their captain??” Tommy asked, staring like he’d never seen another borrower in his life. “Uhh, what?” Tubbo asked, and Tommy snapped his head in his direction, looking confused. Looking past Tommy, Ranboo had the same expression. “What??” “Borrower colonies, they have captains.” Tommy explained. “They’re in charge of everything that happens in the colony, and I mean everything. All the big decisions come down to them.” “They’re like royalty in borrower culture.” Ranboo added. “So why would one come on a random borrower trip? And since when was there even a colony in this building??”

“…You think it’s the old one?” Tubbo asked, only to get more weird looks from his friends. “There was a colony here before? What happened?” Ranboo asked. “There was a whole colony just in this apartment! Have I never told you?” Both of the others shook their heads. “What happened to them?” Tommy asked quietly, like something bad was going to happen if he spoke any louder. Tubbo subconsciously touched his scars, only noticing he did so when his friends’ expressions turned to pity and he put his hand down quickly. “I was really little, I barely remember it, but from what I can piece together from my memories and what Dad and Jack said happened, it was bad. An extermination. No one lived, or at least we thought. But what are the odds that people not only survived, but started a new colony and went to a different part of the building?”

…

It didn’t take long for Charlie to get his group to Schlatt’s apartment. He knew the way by heart, but was holding onto an impossible hope that this time it would somehow take longer, delaying the inevitable. However, when he got there, he had to hide a sigh of relief. Schlatt was nowhere to be seen, probably messing around with his friends next door. Not a single ladder, rope, or haphazard handmade staircase in sight. No proof that a borrower lived here full time.

The captain led them all through what to do, what the rules were, and where everyone should look for supplies before sending them off. Charlie was the last to be sent somewhere, and he could see the look in the captain’s eyes, the same look he had seen a hundred times before in the eyes of the others from the colony that had once been in this apartment. Survivors guilt. Even when the captain was done giving him directions, he didn’t go immediately. He didn’t want to leave him to wallow in his self pity.

“If this gets to much, we’ll understand. You can go home, I’m more than capable of getting them home. I know this must be…hard for you.” The captain didn’t even look him in the eyes, just nodded. “I’ll be fine, Charlie.” Was all he said, only turning to give him a small grin to show he was ok, even if Charlie could tell it was faked.

So, he left.

God, he was glad Tubbo wasn’t here.

…

Aimsey walked across the tops of the few supplies on the kitchen, ears trained on any subtle noise that may let him know danger was coming. Lord knows it had taken him long enough to get up the few boxes on the counter, he’d hate to have gone through all that effort jut to be seen now, though Charlie had assured him that the resident human wasn’t home today.

Although, he was more scared of the part coming next.

Looking up, he spotted the cabinet holding the food he was supposed to get. And shit, was it high. But if Charlie could get to it, so could he. He just wouldn’t focus on how high it was, or how he’d be that high up, or how a fall from that height would kill him…

no. not thinking about that.

“Oh, fuck, oh my god.” Aimsey said, nervousness making his hands shake while swinging his flimsy paper-clip hook to latch onto a nearby handle. “You got this…” he whispered faintly to himself, fingers already turning white from his death grip on the rope before jumping off the counter and preparing for a tug on his middle from the belt.

…the tug should have happened after a few seconds, right?

…oh no…

It was like time slowed as Aimsey looked up to find that the hook had fallen off the handle, and, ok, maybe they should have checked that it was secure before leaping off the counter.

He screamed, trying to alert any nearby source (maybe not the cat, but it’s not like he could afford to be picky at the moment) to save him, and as the floor got closer and closer and closer-

he finally felt the tug.

He felt himself being pulled up from the ground, and practically went boneless with relief. Someone had heard, seen, whatever, his fall and went to his rescue.

He looked up, expecting to see his captain or teammates but…who was that?

The boy at the helm of pulling him up seemed just a bit taller than him (aka short by borrower standards) with fluffy, surprisingly well kept hair and a patchy green jacket. But what shocked him most was the myriad of (dare he say) horrifying scars on the boys face when he barely looked younger than her, scars somewhat similar to the ones the survivors of an old extermination from when the colony was newer held. She found herself unable to keep her eyes of off his scars until finally her eyes landed on his, an unsettling feeling filling her gut. Maybe because the hazel-grey color was familiar, or maybe because he didn’t look all too happy with her.

“You gonna keep staring or are you gonna fucking help?” the (apparently also british, which she didn’t hear often,) boy said, and, oh, she was pretty close to the edge, maybe she could pull herself up some. Aimsey took the hint to finish climbing up the counter and was quickly helped over by the scarred boy, who was quick to catch them as they collapsed breathless. Holy fuck, they almost just died. Cause of their own stupidity, no less. If the captain finds out about that, they’ll never be allowed to leave base again-

“Hey..Uh…you ok?” the boy said, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking him slightly. “Tubs, they almost just fell to their death, give them a minute,” another, harsher, british voice spoke out, startling Aimsey as he quickly shot his head up. This other borrower was taller than the earlier one, though not as well kept. His clothes and hair were dirty, and his arms and legs were covered in scabs and healed over scars, more like the other borrowers Aimsey knew. And behind him was another more traditional borrower, though a good bit taller than anyone they’d ever met and had weird blotches of white that they’d never seen before on anyone, either, as well as split colored hair. But these two were just as unfamiliar as the last one.

“Who are you people??” Aimsey said, only for the three to immediately look at each other with horrified expressions before the tallest one spoke up. “Uh, we’re, uh…new around here! Yeah, we, um, just moved from another colony, but we’ve never seen you around before! Who are you?” He said in an american accent, weirdly enough. “Oh, I’m, uh, Aimsey! And you are?” “I’m Tubbo!” Said the brunette, shoving his way in front of the split haired borrower. “And these two are by best friends, Ranboo and Tommy!” He said, gesturing to the taller of the two and then to the blonde. “Are you from a colony?” He said, turning his attention back to her. “We weren’t aware that there was one in this building anymore.”

“Uh, yeah! My colony used to function out of this apartment i think, actually, but that was way before i joined.” “And you’re here with…?” “Oh, another guy said that this apartment was safe to borrower from, and my captain wanted to see it first hand and i needed the borrowing experience.” “Looks like it,” the blonde, Tommy, spoke up again. “Not checking your hook is secure is a rookie move. But, you said your captain is here, any possible way we could talk to him?” “Tommy!” both other borrowers shouted at once, making Aimsey flinch back. “We’ll be, uh, one second.” Ranboo said, before waking around a tall object on the counter and dragging Tommy behind him as Tubbo followed behind fuming in anger.

Aimsey couldn’t pick up much of the fight, but from what he could tell, they were fighting about meeting the captain, or whether one was “allowed” to, if he heard that right. But before he could even question it, Tommy ran back around, grinning widely as Tubbo glared and Ranboo looked anywhere other than the group in front of him.

“Alright, my friend,” Tommy said, eagerness clear in his voice, “lead the way.”

…

Tubbo couldn’t believe he agreed to this. He didn’t want to meet this fucking captain, at this point he just wanted to lock himself in his room. Uncle Charlie was right, he shouldn’t have involved himself in this. All he wanted to know was that the other borrowers weren’t evil, and Aimsey seemed as not-evil as they come. He could just talk about all this with his family later. Just a simple ‘hey i saw the other borrowers in the apartment today and they don’t seem evil, why aren’t i allowed to meet them?’ Then maybe everything could have been explained to him and he could have been introduced or something like a normal person.

But that wasn’t what was happening. Tommy had twisted his arm (damn Tommy and his impatience and surprisingly good negotiation skills), and, ok, maybe he felt a bit bad that Ranboo and Tommy had to live alone in the walls without company other than him and his family. Maybe Tommy had made a good point that if all went well, he and Ranboo could be part of a colony again. So here Tubbo was, unable to deny his best friends of something he knew they wanted desperately.

But as Aimsey led them closer to where he said the meetup destination was, Tubbo couldn’t quite explain the feeling that something was about to happen, nor could he figure out if said thing was good or bad.

He saw the excitement on Tommy and Ranboo’s faces and decided to ignore his instincts.

…

It had all gone to shit faster than Charlie could have predicted.

Meeting back up with the captain had gone about as planned. He was greeted by a man who was just staring out at the apartment before him, seemingly not having moved since Charlie left. He knew that his captain wouldn’t want to talk about it, though, so he just tapped him lightly and tried to distract him by listing off what he’d found and how hard it was to get it, as was protocol. He seemed more pleased, finally having something to take his mind off of the massacre that had left him a widowmaker and a guilty survivor to a slaughter that he apparently still blamed himself for, even over a decade later. Charlie eventually took to making small talk, trying to keep the poor man he called his captain from reminiscing even more on what had happened in the very spot he stood.

Eventually the small talk dwindled as they both saw a couple of hooks appear on the edge on the counter they stood on. Aimsey climbed his way up first, and, while they had both been expecting Fundy, Aimsey reached down to grab a much paler, unclaimed hand, and, to Charlie’s horror, helped to pull up Ranboo, who seemed very unsure of what to do with the situation. But to be fair, the captain seemed equally weary. Charlie, from his spot diagonally behind him, could see the captain’s ear raise and tail sway in curiosity, while Charlie was trying to physically express how frustrated and he confused he was to Ranboo in a terrible game of charades without tipping off either borrowers that he came with. Ranboo stared at the captain and only glanced at Charlie before two more hooks came over the counter. Ranboo quickly turned to help the remaining two borrowers up (not before slightly shrugging and mouthing ‘it was Tommy’s idea’ to Charlie), and the two of them pulled up Tommy and, as much as he’d tried to keep him safe and warn him, Tubbo.

…

It didn’t take very long. Tubbo had just been helped up to the counter and had only just managed to stand when the captain collapsed to his knees, head down in his hands. Aimsey quickly ran over to help him and Charlie looked back over at the group, unsure of what to do other than just give them a sympathetic look. Tommy and Ranboo at least had the decency to look ashamed, but Tubbo didn’t share their expressions.

He looked scared.

The four of them turned their heads as Aimsey helped the captain stand, letting him lean down on them to keep upright as he looked up to stare at Tubbo, tear lines clear down his face. It lasted what felt like hours before either of them said something, but the captain broke the silence. His eyes became glossy with unshed tears as he said only one word.

“Toby…” he whispered, trailing off, but Tubbo had heard it well, as his brows furrowed and his tail wrapped anxiously around his ankle. The man took a few steps forward, letting go of Aimsey and Tubbo reflexively took a step back away from him, making the captain frown. “What’s wrong?” “How do you know my name? My..my real name.” Tubbo whispered harshly, unable to keep the edge out of his voice, even when he saw the man begin to cry again. “Wh…What?” He sputtered trying to take another step forward as Tubbo backed up again and put his hands out in defense. “You heard me. Who the fuck are you and why do you know my real name?”

“You don’t remember me…?” He whispered desperately, and Tubbo felt a little bit guilty for having no clue who this man was. But somehow, he knew that he knew him. He knew the second he felt the weight settle in his stomach when he looked at him. He had no reason to be that weary of a man he’d never met, but like hell was he about to explain that. For one, Charlie would be pissed that he didn’t just turn tail and run if he felt like that, and two, this man already seemed distraught enough. The last thing he needed to be told was that just looking at him made Tubbo upset.

“…No,” Tubbo half lied. “Should I?” And that was all it took. Tears poured down again, harder than before, and he desperately tried to even out his breaths in between sobs. And, despite his precautions, Tubbo started to step closer. Whether it was out of pity or empathy he didn’t know. “…oh god, what happened to you?” He asked, reaching out to try and cup a hand around the scarred side of Tubbo’s face before Tubbo jerked back and slapped him away. “What the fuck, man?! You don’t just get to..to touch people! Personal space and shit! What the fuck is your problem with my scars, anyway? Not like you aren’t sporting a few yourself!” But the man just laughed, brushing and hand over his own scars, laid over his cheeks, nose, and eye, leaving his left eye dead. “Looks like we match…” he muttered to himself, pointing from his eye back to Tubbo’s own scarred and blurry one. “I’m sorry that happened. I’m sorry I.. I couldn’t protect you. I’m so sorry, Toby.”

“Sorry for what? What couldn’t you protect me from? What the fuck are you on about??” Tubbo yelled, getting more and more frustrated with how long this stupid conversation was going on for. He could feel the stares coming from all around him. Ranboo and Tubbo rightfully confused, just like he was, Aimsey looking on in slightly more awed confusion, and Charlie looked at him pitifully, as if he could understand something that Tubbo didn’t quite yet grasp.

“…You were my responsibility, and I let you get hurt. You were so young, and..I didn’t know where she hid you. I couldn’t risk the lives of anyone else, and I couldn’t even know for sure if you were even still alive so…I had to leave you behind.” He said, voice heavy with grief, guilt, and even more unshed tears, and that’s when Tubbo put it together.

“…You were my captain, back when I was a kid, people did survive…” he said, eyes wide as he pieced together why this man was so familiar to him, “my mum hid me in the vents when she heard the exterminator come in. I was the youngest, I couldn’t defend myself, I could barely walk. She didn’t tell you where I was, and you couldn’t find me, so…you left.” He said, meeting the captain’s eyes. “Is that it, then? You had to leave behind the youngest to save everyone else? You feel guilty that you left a toddler to live alone? Cause, if it makes you feel any better, I’m fine, man. I’ve been good.” He said. But to his shock, the.. his captain just stared. “Toby…what’s your last name? Do you still know it?” He asked, seemingly afraid of the answer. Tubbo thought for a moment, but just shook his head. “Not really. I have a new one now, though, so i guess it doesn’t matter as much.”

“Sparklez.”

“…what?” Tubbo said, the dread he felt getting heavier as he processed what the man had said. “Your name is Sparklez. Toby Sparklez.” And oh god, did that sound familiar, but not it a good way. Like he had some sort of negative association with the word. And it was his name, for fucks sake, if this man was telling the truth. “…ok,” Tubbo replied wearily, “…so what? Why…why is that all of a sudden so important? I don’t have a family, they’re dead, my mum is dead, my dad is..” he trailed off. In all fairness, Tubbo had no fucking clue what ever happened to his dad. He didn’t remember that fucker at all. All he remembered was his poor mother raising him alone, sacrificing her damn life to hide her only son in a vent to save him from certain death. Where was his dad then?

And as if the universe hated him more than it had already proven to, as if the multilaton of his face, the death of his colony, and the death of his birth mother hadn’t been enough, the man held out his hand to Tubbo.

“I’m Captain Jordan Sparklez,” he said, a genuine smile on his face and tears filling his eyes as Tubbo’s world began to violently shatter around him. “And I’m so, so happy to see you again, Toby.”

…

It was like all of the air in him evaporated into nothing, like his lungs had been crushed by led and could no longer expand. Every muscle in his body began to spasm, and he was slowly losing feeling in everything, spreading from his hands and feet up to his arms and legs like a disease. He remembered seeing Karl have a panic attack once, remembered how hard it was to watch someone he love feel so much terror, remembered the pain on Sapnap and Quackitys’ as they desperately tried to help him. He felt bad that the people around him were scared for him right now, but, hell, he was scared for him, too.

He felt hands, familiar hands, thank god, begin to grab at him as he collpased, and he saw the blurry outlines of his best friends help lower him and shout concerns and questions that were getting harder and harder to hear by the second as the world darkened around him. Ranboo tried to tell him it was ok, (even if nothing was ok), and he heard Tommy yelling at his d- the captain about something that he couldn’t be bothered to listen to, and somewhere in the blurry background he could see Aimsey anxiously just standing around, unsure of what to do. He felt himself be lifted as shaggy light caramel hair and a pair of shoddily handmade glasses came into view. Right, his Uncle Charlie was there to witness all of that, too. He laughed internally to himself, remembering the night he and his actual dad had spent trying to make those, when they realized how little Charlie could actually see. It had taken half an hour to unstick the hot glue from Schlatt’s hands, Tubbo laughing at him the whole time, and lord knows there’s probably still hot glue stuck to the counters, it was a mess.

He wondered if Charlie knew. If the reason he’d been told to stay away was because Charlie knew he couldn’t handle something like this.

Well, he was right.

“Take him back,” he heard Sparklez say, as the world began to simmer away, “Ponk and Niki will fix him up, and Eret will know what to do from there. They can get him what he needs. Just..Just hang in there, Toby.” He felt an unfamiliar calloused hand on his shoulder and, suddenly, he was out cold.