#anyway yeah I'm still sad
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😔
#do you guys remember how like a number of people texted me on the day that ep aired to ask if I was okay#that's hashtag real nanami nation vibes#anyway yeah I'm still sad#jjk#nanami kento#jujutsu kaisen#mine#kento nanami#meme
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Captain Francis Crozier, at Furthest North.
#the terror amc#francis crozier#my art#can't believe it took me 2 rewatches AND getting refs for this to realize it's the hungarian state opera house. girl i was there last month#anyway yeah i was looking at gifsets of the last shot of the show and feeling nauseous with emptiness etc etc when#the thought struck me that it looks an awful lot like the tableau vivants from the ep1 flashbacks in its stillness#i have no idea whether that was an intentional reference (a sort of twisted mockery of how that scrubbed and polished portrayal of history#contrasted with the deeply sad and inglorious reality#or some sort of meta about storytelling itself. i'm not really smart enough to say lol) but i made this anyways. enjoy#pattern recognition go brrrrrrrrrrrrrr#i bent over backwards trying to make this symmetric and harmonious. it isn't but if i don't post it now i never will
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hello hi I have no idea how I started drawing again
#fanart#sketch#bnha#my art#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#toga himiko#togachako#yeah one of these is literally called by a ship name#so yeah#dabi#toya todoroki#I lost my paper figure of Toga I made 5 years ago and I still process this#like... how the hell did I manage that I have no idea#also I remembered today that I missed her bithday due to me working#so I missed a lot of birthdays AND end of mha AND a ton of GF stuff were the only things keeping me sane#bc while I read or thing of mha I'm not looking sane enough#also I needed a break#BUT STILL it's sad that I missed so many things#anyway goodnight#it's 3 am
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Oh, so, like, the entire first season's establishment of the characters and their interactions don't actually matter in Helluva Boss. Okay, cool.
Like, I get that characterization develops over time and the writers come up with new ideas and places they want to take the story, but. So much of the Stolas/Blitzø stuff recently isn't character development: it's retconning.
#I'm just salty because i was heavily invested in the unhealthy dynamic as i interpreted it#instead of the unhealthy dynamic the show decided on.#uhhhh. yeah I'll throw this in the crit tag#helluva boss critical#I'm mostly just not invested in this show anymore. alas! but i do still very much enjoy the art and animation style#every time there's shiny glowy eyes i go 😍#anyway it does just take a tiny amount of editing to have this come across how i would very much enjoy#where Stolas is just. hypocritical#he wants love and a relationship so badly#and that's such an interesting characterization and I'm here for it!#if we also just. acknowledge the way he was SO obsessed with sex while Blitzø was awkward about it#like there is a lot of mention of that - Blitzø says he thought that's what Stolas wanted from him#and is confused about why things are changing!! (i love it so much)#but the show seems to take Stolas's side instead of allowing that 'yeah‚ he doesn't recognize how his internal emotions were never seen‚#because all Blitzø sees are Stolas's external actions - exactly the problem that Stolas is having with Blitzø not communicating!'#AND i still think there should be more emphasis on 'hey yeah it was really fucked up to manipulate Blitzø into sex like he did'#the crystal didn't magically fix it and they should have issues with Blitzø not understanding his worth to Stolas#because from his POV: Stolas really does only want him for sex‚ is paying him with access to the book and human realm‚#and has repeatedly sexualized him And seemed ashamed of it when other important people knew#(compared to how he acted towards Blitzø around other Imps) (which makes it seem like he doesn't care about what Imps think at all)#Stolas can be sad and his emotions are interesting but not when all of the fandom I'm seeing is taking his side#me at all times always: i think these characters/this ship should be worse!!!
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I lost my job and I'm trying to take care of a newborn so I'm thinking of doing holiday YCH commissions to make a few bucks so hopefully there's interest when I put the post up at some point. 🫡
#this is a sad post yeah and I'm still trying to process it ugh. I've been working since high school. 😬#Anyway im thinking [$10 for two characters + colored].#Im working on one base but I'm thinking of making another one as a $5 option. I'm not sure about slots but maybe 3 to start off.#void.◇
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#I've read some of you talking about your irls reaching out#Positive and negative thinga#And I'm... In the middle#I haven't hidden my love for 1D since it took over my life 3 years ago#So the people that know me know this about me#Granted they probably know more about Louis but still#One of my closest friends was a bit insensitive at first and I just couldn't reply#She then sort of came through and has been checking in#I don't think she realized how much it mattered to me#Then I told my best friend who's still back home#I also don't think she understood how important they are to me#She hasn't checked in again but she has sooo much shit on her plate that I don't even blame her although it still... A little bit#But I'm also like trying not to think they actually knew how seriously important these bois are to me#Anyway. Another friend... I saw him right after I found so I was still very much in shock and he knows about them and my deep connection#Saw him the next day he hugged me and asked me how I was and this was after the shock wore off and I had cried all night#I almost broke down again... But he hasn't checked in again and I'm a bit sad about it#Someone I met briefly in the summer and got to talking about the bois reached out and asked and I was glad they did#My sister has been checking in which has been very nice#Again... Idk... I don't need them to understand or be all over me asking or anything#It's just... Yeah.#And it just reinforces my gratitude for this space and the friends I've made the past couple of years#I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have this and you all#But then again... The biggest reason I'm still in this community is the people I've met#So of course I would always have you here#Understanding something that outsiders could never#It's like trying to explain why Louis is so important to me... If you don't feel you won't get it#Rambles ramble#My eyes hurt
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why did my ex i haven't talked to in months just texted me to say liam payne is dead??????
#it's not like i was a liam fan....neither is my ex i think?#anyway yeah it's still sad#but i'm confused as to why they would text me that lol#we literally haven't talked since july#except the other day when i saw them on their apartment balcony as i was going to vote? we just exchanged a wave#i am so confused#(sorry if this is how you learn of his passing)
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Every time I draw Mamagi it does AoE damage (I am also in the area of effect)
Lighthearted bonus:
#enstars#hiiro amagi#rinne amagi#i don't know if this is a bad time to be amagi-posting given that hiiro's fs2 just dropped but. oh well#also this might be the last thing i draw for a bit because i am in the final stretch of this semester#if you sent in a request. i will get to it and thank you for your patience#anyways i know i'm kinda being like 'haha rinne mama's boy' which like. yeah but also sometimes--#--sometimes you're an adult in their 20s and like. yeah sure you're technically an adult or whatever but you still feel like a kid yeah?#and sometimes you just maybe want your mom to help you when you're lost or confused or when you need someone to tell you it'll be okay#but you won't get that for whatever reason#sincerely: an adult in their 20s#....can you tell why rinne is like. a vibe to me now#anyways i'm not saying mamagi dying was a necessary evil but if hiiro and rinne had an adult who actually loved them at home they probably-#-wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have the main story#if she was alive today tho she'd be going to their lives sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do)#if she ends up being exactly like the rest of their village in some future lore i'm gonna be so sad.#she'd throw hands with niki's parents#imagine leaving your sons behind because you straight up died (couldn't really do anything about that)#meanwhile your son's boyfriend's parents just. up and left him because they could#also posts with her will be tagged mamagi#if you read all that <3#mamagi#she'd adopt all the bees and alkaloid too#imagine if they got their singing skills from her#also mamagi 1 rinniki shipper (also does not care it's not legal)#rinniki
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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WAIT YOURE A MOTHER 3 FAN TOO????? BEST BLOGGER ON THIS WEBSITE FR FR
NJDASNJKDAS YEAH YEAH for the few people who have known me long enough to know my Origin Story. I actually joined tumblr ten years ago as a Mom 3 ask blog :") It literally was the Start of my online presence here and I hold it so near and dear to my heart 🥰
#I will always be a Mom 3 fan at heart. That was my ORIGIN baby#I had that ask blog before I even had THIS blog#Which I'm p sure turns ten next month. GOD.#Anyway asktwinheroes started in January of 2014 I believe. So yeah. A DECADE ago#Which is INSANE to me#Anyway I love Mom 3 so so so much it's such a brilliant game#It's funny and charming and heartbreakingly sad sometimes#I bawled my EYES out at the ending. The first time I played it my mom literally thought smth was wrong#She was like ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU HURT??#Me: C-C-CLAUSSSSS 😭😭😭#Claus still remains one of my comfort characters and one of my FAVORITE characters in all of media of all time.#PERIODT!!!#ANYWAY yeah I am a Mother 3 fan...to put it lightly...LOL#Shima answers questions#Mother 3#Mother series
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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You know what's fucking stupid? The little mean voice inside my head that tells me being in a fandom is childish and "aren't you too old for that" and "aren't you feeling ridiculous caring (and projecting) so much for/onto fictional characters" bc literally no MUM, I'm in fact just doing what I love and it's cruel that I feel ridiculous to this day that I'm building up my personality through fictional characters bc I never knew who I really was and fandoms are giving me the opportunity to explore that. Yes ofc that's not "normal" or whatever but is it really that bad? Like I'm feeling better through that, it's giving me motivation to do things. So yeah... Thanks.. another reason I have to unlearn shame I suppose.
#johnny's silly rambles#when i was crying in school and maybe had some merch clothes on I'd feel so ashamed of myself#like oh you're crying and probably thinking what your fav character would do? that's pathetic#and ofc I'm not that anymore like I'm proud of my fandoms and I'm not hiding the fact that I'm in them#and i can even tell people about why i have certain merch and stuff#but back when i was a child i hid that i liked a character better than some people their fucking social security number#i taught myself not to react when their name dropped and not to blush and stuff#which is ridiculous like what's so bad about liking a character????#but past me was so ashamed of everything i enjoyed...#which is making me extremely insecure about the things that i like now as well tho#like when someone would say they don't like bsd I'd feel genuinely hurt#hm actually not bsd as a whole probably. it'd probably be more like if the person didn't like ranpoe#or when my mum said that she thought mtp was absolute garbage#(we watched the first 10min btw...)#like thanks... you could've phrased that better and now I'm insecure af and sad..#“but i can say i didn't like it” yeah well...#maybe that's my fault for being this insecure#but still i just think that was a dick move#anyways uhhhh thank you for reading this long and also sorry lol#vent
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Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
#caluuart#genshin impact#genshin#art#arlecchino#god she's just so. cool. pretty. ethereal. badass.#also I LOVE HER STORY QUEST SO MUCH!! I think it's definitely one of the best story quests in the game tbh.#wait uh arlecchino story quest spoilers below:#for one; the quest really gives even more depth to arlecchino's character. like yeah the whole thing is well. messed up.#it's an orphanage that raises orphans to be child soldiers after all. But it's also like. It's more.... humane? nicer? for the fatui anyway#which does bring me to the next thing. you know how arlecchino's like “if you're gonna leave the HotH you need to fight for it with ur life#I genuinely think that she's gonna just. straight up kill them. although it's not unlikely at all it turns out that (most of the time?) she#-just gives them a one trip to memory loss and set them free. which i do know it's kinda like death in genshin's lore but still.#I just find that pretty interesting.#also the cutscene where clervie says goodbye n stuff. It makes me cry EVERY TIME. ARGHHHH TRAGIC CHILDHOOD DOOMED YURI MY BELOVED :(((#clervie makes me so sad man. the fact that she just. accepts death. she really just let peruere kill her huh. crucabena when I fucking get#the hopelessness getting to her at that point. all attempts of freedom failed until that day..... GOD. and clervie finally getting closure-#-in the story quest as a spirit... I just..... man.........#on a lighter note :)#I got obsessed with a bloodborne OST LMAO. the uhh the lugwig boss theme. esp the sec phase one. it's SO GOOD. I first heard abt it in a-#-vid analyzing the ost musically. At the time i was like. woah. cool. what a cool sounding track. fast foward to like. a day before 4.6#I'm watching a genshin theory video and I heard the music in the bg. I recognized it but I couldn't remember where I heard it from#UNTIL I REMEMBERED. and looked it up. And I have not known peace since. good music.#anw I've been rambling too much so yeah. gn my dear fellows!!
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I'm hyperfixating on viewtiful joe again btw
#I forgot to make this statement sooner#y'know. just to keep it registered. so I can look back on it in the future#I think it's been a week or two since I've been hyperfixating officially#realistically it's probably been a bit longer but I didn't REALIZE that I was hyperfixating again yet#my theory is that the viewtiful joe side of my brain saw that qsmp surpassed its record#for media I spent the most time hyperfixated on#and it was just like#naaurrr#and it forced a vj resurgence on me#I'm not really SURPRISED . I've already accepted that my obsession w/ viewtiful joe is like a lifetime thing#but I'm just kinda like 'fucking god damn it not again'#anyway yeah ummmm dunno what this means for me bc like#I do not want to go back to the sad life that I lived when I was really into viewtiful joe#and I would spend hours making art just to post it and get 2 likes from my friends#so I dunno what I'm gonna do#I'll probably still be in the qsmp fandom tbh#or rather. I'm in the tazercraft fandom at this point#for the qsmp as a whole I guess I'm not that into it anymore#still love tazercraft thou :3#lucasings
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us!
Hey silly!! Hru? How's your day going?? :]
That's really canon!! Also- I kind of made a little comic about this but with c!melple, so.. Yeah, hope you like it! :D💖
#I did it with great affection and that's why it took me so long to answer you!#so I hope you weren't sad or thought I wasn't going to answer you..#I already wanted to do that kinda of comic for a long time. like-#I had almost exactly come up with an entire idea with something like that pic/art before you sent me the ask!#I just needed a pic or an incentive to start tbh and so... yeah.#just because of you. I'm now happy to have put it into practice and completing one more item on my list of arts! <3#also thank you and know that I love you a lot. mike :]#(I know. it seems to be very small and easy to do but it was actually not easy at all..#because I did it first in just some small squares and then put it in this type of “three” to look like a comic.#but then to fit each one it was a little difficult and you can even see that it got a little “disproportionate” but anyway-#still i'm glad i did it and i feel proud for trying to do something like this :DD)#hey dear mike!!!#mike my beloved/p#mike manple#my platonic silly#sweet asks#asks#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#art mel#my art style#c!mel loly#my oc character#c!melple#c!manple#my boyfriend oc#king duo#original comic
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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