#anyway wow maybe one day theyll do a study on how therapeutic telling your personal problems to the internet is and then ill feel validated
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#my relationship with my brother has slowly been getting better after the Great Fuckfest of 2015-2016 where my siblings were treating me.....#not great and then tonight i was texting him and depression came up and i said something about being mad that i survived as a kid#but now im on drugs to make it better#(i was born 3 months premature and almost died lmao really missed my chance there)#and he was like 'dont even act like your life is the worst' and i was like 'well its not but i have definitely almost killed myself and that#was kind of the worst' and then hes like 'i didnt think you would actually have the gumption to hurt yourself pain is the worst'#was kind of the worst' and then hes like 'you#.............#well dude idk what to tell you like i DID in fact hurt myself that Was Definitely An Issue for a significant amount of time.....#idk if he just said insensitive things because he genuinely has no idea how bad my mental illnesses have been/are but like....#what the hell and fuck#and now its great cause i am uhhhhhhh feeling the depression#OH he also pulled the classique 'dont kill yourself cause that would mess me up. i think suicide is so very selfish'#Nobody Fuckin Asked You#thank u my depression isnt about you except for the fact that you have made it SIGNIFICANTLY worse at certain times#and wow i have never ever at all once thought about how me killing myself would affect other people or whether it would at all what an idea#and like just the insinuation that my assorted mental illnesses havent been That Big of a deal.......#not like ive been in counseling for almost 4 years. or like im on 3 different psych meds. or like i almost got essentially kicked out#of high school because i was too depressed and they didnt want to deal with me#or or or#like hey i dont need to prove my mental illnesses to you lmao i've done that with about four doctors thx#anyway wow maybe one day theyll do a study on how therapeutic telling your personal problems to the internet is and then ill feel validated#in doing this as a coping mechanism#also if you read this can i make a request. please like the post so i know like in a vague sense who now knows the details of my evening#(and thanks for reading lmao im a. a mess with an extremely unhealthy family dynamic)#me
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