#anyway what the fuck ever lmao

[laesas]

Seeing someone's awful, self-righteous, bad faith, rage bait take and realising that you already have them blocked for their other dogshit opinions 👌👌👌

[demigod-of-the-agni]

The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.

I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay

[shima-draws]

Aww they missed him (and his cooking) so much 😭

[we-are-dogclan]

Moon 65: Week 1

Calm

Not much to say, but sometimes there doesn’t need to be.

[revvethasmythh]

tbh, one of the things I can't wait to be over with this campaign is the idea that any real person's engagement with feminism is somehow tethered to whether or not/how much they like imogen and laudna (and additionally, having the concept of lesbophobia attached to whether you enjoy the ship between them). i feel like every single time there's been a word of criticism about their behavior or development, it's immediately been met with a cry (in certain circles) that anyone being critical isn't feminist and doesn't support sapphic relationships, which has been a WILD experience on my end as a stan blog for a female character who has notable sapphic ships. but none of that has mattered in the wake of these two SPECIFIC characters. like they're the linchpins of feminism and all sapphics around the world, and to dislike or even just be mildly critical of them proves you have disavowed your rights to be a feminist. or queer yourself. if i am eager for ANYTHING to be over, it is that

[hayaku14]

pushing daisies kaishin au #2

pushing daisies au where shinichi has been able to revive dead animals, plants, even people since he was a child.

kudou "i can literally talk to the dead" shinichi

shinichi's parents didn’t exactly encouraged him to use this power. especially not in public. they’ve seen him revive and re-kill dead plants and animals in the same breath, it doesn’t take a detective to figure out what could happen near a human corpse.

but a young shinichi is curious, a young shinichi admired his father, and a young shinichi wanted to prove himself a detective. but most of all, a young shinichi wanted to help.

so when he saw his father struggle in solving a particular case, a young shinichi figured that maybe asking straight from the source would help give them a hint.

the complete horror in yusaku's eyes shinichi saw that day made him promise himself to never do it again.

shinichi realizes later on that reviving someone just for a clue on the whos, hows, and whys of their death only to touch them again, to basically kill them again, is sick and twisted and the realization leaves him feeling raw and dirty.

he then decides that if he’s gonna find out the truth, if he’s gonna bring justice, it’s not by making the victims suffer a second death. he will unravel the mystery not by magic but by logic.

the curious case of kuroba kaito

hakuba immediately contacts shinichi.

“he was...a friend. if i have to gather all the best detectives to catch his murderer then so be it.”

hakuba goes on to explain.

it was a kid heist. shots were fired. snipers. kaitou kid was caught on camera falling, as if he’d been shot, but he appears a minute later flying away on his glider with not a speck of blood on his suit. all should be well however, a few buildings away in an alleyway, the body of kuroba kaito is found dead. gunshots through the heart and chest.

a simple explanation would’ve been that the glider was a fake activated by kid’s assistant as a last ditch effort to save his legacy and this kuroba kaito was kaitou kid himself. he would’ve said it out loud but by the look on hakuba’s face, he can tell that he already connected those dots long before shinichi even stepped foot in the morgue. that wasn’t what hakuba called him for.

“can i...take a look at the body alone?”

hakuba raises an eye at him but moves to leave without questioning. "alright then. i have to check on another friend anyway. she's been...distraught ever since she heard the news and..." hakuba's words trail away as his eyes unconsciously drifted towards kuroba kaito's covered body. shinichi patiently waits through the quiet pain that he sees on hakuba. the pinch in his brows, the tenseness of his body. he must've been a really good friend.

hakuba shakes his head and turns his attention back to shinichi. "sorry, i...its been a long day. i'll leave you here then. call me if you find anything."

left alone, shinichi carefully zips open the body bag covering kaitou kid's upper body. he looked eerily similar to himself and imagining his own body cold and dead in the morgue sent a shiver down his spine. shaking his head, he pulls a chair close and reads through the file hakuba brought him.

"no witnesses. no camera. not a trace nor lead to anything. just some reports on mysterious gunshots in previous heists that lead to nowhere." they were professionals, whoever did this, shinichi thought. it was not going to be an easy case.

he takes another peek at the body. so this was kaitou kid, huh. too young to be the same as the one before his hiatus. perhaps a successor? motive could be related to his predecessor. his mother hasn't said anything of interest. does she really not know or is she protecting him? he runs his hand through his hair. there's too little information to go on...unless...

temptation rears its head. the source of information is right there in front of him. one touch and it could open up new leads to the case. an immediate disgust twists deep into his gut. he promised himself to never use it on people. to never kill. his father's haunted eyes embedded in his mind. he shouldn't. he really shouldn't. but he remembers the anguished look on hakuba's face. if he was going to do it, this might be the only good time. any longer and his touch would not revive kid. and gone along with him would be vital information to catch his murderer.

shinichi heaves a deep sigh. he has never used his abilities on dead people since that one incident as a child but he couldn't shake off the look on hakuba's face. it was now or never. shinichi reaches for kid's hand.

---

pushing daisies au #1

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Killua and the Power of Wishes

Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.

As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.

One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.

Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.

Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.

Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.

To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.

I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.

Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.

What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.

[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]

This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.

When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.

[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]

It's such an innocent, simple want.

And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.

In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:

Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."

Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)

Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."

And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!

So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.

10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.

Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.

It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.

Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).

"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"

The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.

Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?

Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]

Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.

And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.

This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.

It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.

[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]

I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.

However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.

Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.

[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]

I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.

But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.

Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]

Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?

Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.

[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]

Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".

I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.

...holy shit, kid.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]

And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(

What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.

In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.

Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]

Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.

Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.

They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:

As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course

Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo

I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.

Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.

The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.

So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.

Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.

It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.

Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.

Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]

Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.

Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.

Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.

And Alluka tears into him for it.

[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]

You tell him, girl.

Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?

"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.

Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.

And neither should Killua.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]

It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.

Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.

And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]

...she doesn't even have to think about it.

I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.

[littlespoonevan]

because i was rewatching 1x04 and was reminded that episode 4 of almost every season is an absolute banger of an episode. (also i know what recency bias might do to this poll so please take a second to remember the episode 4s of seasons gone by before voting askjdfh)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive had several people tell me that my take on teruhashi is overdramatized but like. it genuinely isnt and i say that with my whole chest.

i KNOW that the girls in saiki k are written pretty stereotypically and yeah im 100% sure that asou didnt really mean to make his character a deep take on beauty standards and misogyny, but he was writing a parodied take on the perfect girl trope and focused a lot on how people objectify her and how shes never truly satisfied because shes always trying to fit what men want from her... so thats how it turned out. im not overdramatizing it, im just using more descriptive terms for it 🤷🏻‍♀️

[sapphic-circles]

For Love

Pairing: Elphaba/Glinda Word count: 3056 Summary: A few months after Elphaba fakes her death, she sets off to reunite with Glinda.

~~~

“I know what you’re thinking about.”

Elphaba stiffened for a moment. She’d thought Fiyero would be in bed by now—and she should have been, too.

“You can’t sleep, either?” she asked, forcing her tense shoulders to relax. She didn’t turn away from her spot at the window, where she looked out over the rolling hills dimly lit by moonlight.

“No.” Fiyero sat at the window seat beside her and joined her in watching the landscape.

“So,” Elphaba said. “What am I thinking about, then? I’m dying to know.”

“You want to see her,” Fiyero answered. He didn’t have to say the name for Elphaba to know he was right.

She sighed and leaned her cheek onto her hand. She could see the sparkling lights of the city in the distance, so close that she could easily make it there within a night. She’d fantasized about it too often lately: how she’d go, how she’d disguise herself to do it.

“We left her alone,” she murmured. “And you’ve heard word as well as I have. She’s not well, Fiyero. I’m worried about her.”

“She’s not alone,” Fiyero said. “She has all of Oz at her beck and call. She’s absolutely adored by them. They’ll take care of her.”

“You know that’s not what she needs.”

“I know.”

Elphaba shook her head, her eyes still glued to the distant city lights. Yes, there were reports that the Good Witch had been under the weather lately, but not so unwell that she couldn’t perform her duties. She was still taking the country by the reins and leading it back toward the right path, just as she’d promised she would.

But Elphaba couldn’t help but worry. And, if she was being totally honest, she’d been looking for an excuse to see Glinda again. A good reason to reveal her secret to her old friend, a reason to risk everything for one more conversation. Because all of Oz thought she, the Wicked Witch of the West, was dead—which had been the plan, and it was a good thing. A necessary thing.

And yet, Elphaba couldn’t stop wishing Glinda knew the truth.

“You can’t go,” Fiyero said gently. “It’s too dangerous.”

“I know that,” Elphaba said. “But…”

“You’re gonna go anyway, aren’t you?”

Elphaba swallowed and looked down at her hands in her lap. She always kept her nails long, but she’d recently painted them a sleek black color using techniques she’d learned from Glinda, and all she could think was that she wanted to see the contrast of pale hands and powder-pink nails twined in hers again.

“I think I have to,” she said eventually.

She looked up at Fiyero, expecting him to fight her on it. They both knew she didn’t have to do anything, and that they would all be safer if she kept her nose where it belonged and continued to live with her head down…but keeping her head down had never been her strong suit.

Fiyero, rather than buckling down, offered her a sad smile. “Just be careful,” he said.

The canvas of his skin crinkled with the curve of his mouth, and Elphaba reached out to tuck in a spray of straw threatening to fall from his seams. What a dear friend he was to have stayed by her side for so long through the things they’d endured, and to still be willing to let her risk ruining it all for her own desires.

“Thank you,” she said. “I may be back by morning, or maybe tomorrow night if I’m able to stay longer. You’ll hear about it if things go wrong, I’m sure.”

“Good luck,” Fiyero said. “And tell her I said hello.”

~~~

Elphaba rode as far as the edge of the city, then continued on foot. It gave her time to think—as if she hadn’t already thought about every possible scenario a hundred times before.

She was fairly certain of which room in the tower Glinda would have picked. The window faced the side of the building, so she wouldn’t need to worry about guards at the doors seeing her sneak in, at least as long as they didn’t glimpse her skirting around to the side.

She’d retired her broom, knowing it would be too dangerous to use, so flying up wasn’t an option. She could throw rocks at the window, but that wouldn’t give her the opportunity to make sure she had the right room before waking the wrong person. Her only option was to climb.

There was a trellis, of course, but it only reached so high. There was plenty to use as a foothold on the way up, too, but the tower was much more intimidating knowing she couldn’t catch herself with her broom. And then, there was always the possibility that someone could notice a figure moving up from floor to floor.

Elphaba would never admit it, but she was scared. Months living peacefully in hiding had left her unused to the stunts she used to pull, and this climb couldn’t be described as anything less than daunting. Not to mention, she wasn’t sure how Glinda would react to her showing up out of the blue in the middle of the night. What if she wasn’t receptive? What if she’d be so angry for being tricked that she’d send Elphaba away, and they wouldn’t even get to talk?

The thought turned Elphaba’s stomach, and she forced it out of her mind. This would all be fine. Glinda would be happy to see her, and she wouldn’t be caught sneaking in. She didn’t come all this way just to turn around and go home.

So, she climbed.

By the time she reached the balcony she aimed for, her muscles ached and she wheezed to catch her breath, arms shaking as she hauled herself over the railing. She’d better be right about the room, or she’d be caught before she could manage to climb back down.

She took a deep breath and peered through the balcony door, her heart pounding with more than just exhaustion. Her pulse buzzed through her as her eyes roved the room: a bedroom cloaked in nighttime darkness, but lit well enough by a small pink lamp that Elphaba could conclude with certainty that this was Glinda’s room—even if the blonde woman herself hadn’t already been sitting awake at her desk, scrawling away at some parchment in front of her.

Elphaba’s chest tightened. It felt like it had been so long since she’d seen Glinda, and she found herself taken aback by the degree to which just the sight of her affected her emotions. Tears welled in her eyes as she drank in the blonde curls, the pink dress, the dark eyes cast down at her work.

Darker than usual.

Even from outside, Elphaba could see the circles under Glinda’s eyes. Even the light in them, usually so bright and full of spirit, seemed dim. And was it the shadows, or did she look thinner? Her hair flatter?

Glinda looked up from her writing as if on instinct, and Elphaba froze as they locked eyes.

And then the eye contact broke as Glinda looked away quickly, bringing her hand to her face as if to bite down on her knuckles. Elphaba couldn’t see much of her face anymore, but she could make out a string of tears running down Glinda’s cheek. Maybe Glinda hadn’t seen her after all?

She forgot any sense of stealth she had and surged forward to knock on the window, desperate to wipe the tears away and ask what was wrong. Maybe Glinda just had a rough day; maybe Elphaba could lend some comfort.

Glinda looked up again with the knock on the glass, and this time she didn’t look away. This time, she stared for longer than Elphaba could tell, her tears running dry. But she didn’t make any move to answer the door.

Elphaba hesitated, then knocked again before offering a nervous wave. Please let me in, she thought. Please don’t send me away. I miss you. I love you.

Glinda stood up this time and faltered as she stepped toward the door. She patted her eyes, a habit Elphaba knew she had to preserve her carefully made-up face, and crept closer. Wary, like a wild animal.

She reached the door and turned the handle slowly, letting the door drift open just a few inches before stepping back.

Elphaba caught the door and stepped inside, eyes glued to the woman she’d thought she would never see again. What was she supposed to say now? This was the part she could never quite imagine in her daydreams.

“Elphie?”

Glinda’s voice came out small and cracked, and new tears welled in her eyes as she stared back.

“Yeah,” Elphaba said. “It’s me. I’m here.”

“How?”

“A trap door,” Elphaba said simply. “I’m sorry, Glinda. I wish it didn’t have to be like that, and I understand if you’re angry, but I just—”

Elphaba’s breath caught as Glinda rushed the last few steps toward her, enveloping her in a tight embrace.

Elphaba hugged her back, burying her face in Glinda’s hair and breathing deep the scent of her familiar perfume. Her hands clutched at the frilly pink dress in an attempt to hold her even closer, her heart thundering so strongly that she was sure Glinda must be able to feel it.

“I can’t believe it,” Glinda breathed. “I can’t believe you’re here. You’re alive.” She shook her head. “I thought I was seeing things.”

“I’ve missed you,” Elphaba said. “It’s been so hard staying away. But—” She pulled out of the embrace and ran a gentle hand down Glinda’s cheek, feeling the sharp angles under her skin. “I came because there’s been word around Oz that you’re unwell. What’s wrong, darling? Are you ill?”

Glinda stared at Elphaba and shook her head. “I thought you were dead.”

“I—I know,” Elphaba said. “But if you’re sick, I can find a way to help.”

“I thought you were dead, Elphie,” Glinda repeated, and Elphaba’s heart clenched as she realized the meaning of those words.

“Oh, Glinda…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Glinda looked deep into Elphaba’s eyes, her own so tired and sad that Elphaba didn’t even know how to respond. “I would have played along. You know I wouldn’t have put you in danger. Why didn’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you,” Elphaba insisted. “I just—I thought it would better for you. Safer. If you believed it, you could just…live the life you were meant to, without worrying about where I was and what I was doing. I thought you could be happy that way.”

“Happy?” Glinda frowned. “Happy that my best friend was gone? That she wouldn’t get to live the life she deserved?” She shook her head. “I know we said goodbye. That doesn’t mean I could live with your…your death.”

“I’m sorry,” Elphaba said again. “I thought it was the right thing to do. I was wrong.”

“Yeah,” Glinda said shortly. “You were.”

Her expression softened, and she hugged Elphaba again—not as tightly this time, but gentle and so fervent that all Elphaba could do was melt into her arms.

“I’m so glad you’re not dead, though,” Glinda said with a tearful laugh. “I’ve dreamed every day that you would somehow come back, and now…”

“Me, too,” Elphaba murmured. She pressed a long kiss to the side of Glinda’s head and closed her eyed. She could stay like this forever, wrapped in her friend’s embrace. Never mind that she wanted more—this was still more than she thought she’d ever have again. “I wish I could stay,” she breathed.

Glinda’s hands tightened on her cloak. “Please don’t go yet.”

“If anyone catches me here…”

“I’ll make them mind their own business,” Glinda said. “Please, Elphie.”

“Okay,” Elphaba said. After all these years, she still couldn’t say no to Glinda. She hoped that wouldn’t bite her in the ass. “All right. I’ll stay a while longer.”

“Yes!” Glinda perked up and ran her hand down Elphaba’s arm to take her by the hand and pull her toward the bed. “Tell me everything. Where are you living? Are you doing all right?”

Elphaba sat across from Glinda on the plush mattress, close enough that they could keep holding hands. “Yes,” Elphaba said, “I’m doing fine. It’s been very…quiet.” She glanced out the window to the rolling hills that lay between the city and her little cottage. “There’s a tiny village just a little bit east of the city. Fiyero and I have a cottage at the edge of the woods beyond it.”

Glinda smiled fondly, but there was something else under it, like a hint of sadness tinting her gaze. “You’re still with Fiyero, then?”

“It’s nice having familiar company,” Elphaba said. “So, yes, we live together. But it’s not like that. It never has been.”

Glinda tilted her head. “What do you mean? He ran away to be with you.”

“To help me,” Elphaba said. “With the cause. He did feel something for me, but…” She shook her head. “I couldn’t reciprocate. I love him, but not that way.”

Glinda leaned forward, her fingers closing tighter around Elphaba’s. They were so close that Elphaba could see the patterns in Glinda’s irises, the gleam of her glossy pink lips. Her face flushed as she tried not to look at them for too long.

“You’re not seeing anyone, then?”

“No,” Elphaba said. I’ve only ever had eyes for you, she thought, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud. What if she was misreading the situation? Glinda had always been physically clingy. The contact and the proximity could mean nothing. Or...

“You know I’m in love with you, right?” Glinda said quietly, and Elphaba’s heart nearly stopped.

Glinda was leaving this decision in her hands. Elphaba was the one who had to leave, the one who had to hide. She was certain now that Glinda knew exactly how she felt, and now she knew Glinda felt the same.

But if she were to deny it…if she lied and said she only saw Glinda as a friend…she could leave with no strings attached. No possibility of such a forbidden romance lingering in the back of her mind as she returned to her simple village life.

Glinda would know the truth, of course, but it was about plausible deniability. One route was safe for Elphaba, and it wasn’t the one that included Glinda.

Even so, there was no way she could go back now.

Elphaba tucked a stray lock of blonde hair behind Glinda’s ear, then leaned in to kiss her.

Glinda’s hands instantly moved to the sides of Elphaba’s face, where her thumbs gently caressed the freckled green skin. Her lip gloss tasted like strawberries, a scent Elphaba had occasionally picked up but couldn’t place among Glinda’s shampoo and perfume. And as Elphaba’s hands settled on Glinda’s hips, she found herself so overcome with emotion that her tears wet Glinda’s face, too.

Glinda drew back a moment to wipe Elphaba’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

Elphaba laughed and rubbed her eyes to dry them. “I’ve never been better.”

“Good.” Glinda smiled, a playful glint in her eyes. Elphaba could tell what was coming just a moment before Glinda tackled her down onto the bed, straddling her to pepper her face with kisses.

“Hey!” Elphaba complained. She reached up to tickle Glinda’s sides, and with a squeal, Glinda fell to the other side of the bed just long enough for Elphaba to lean over her, sprawled out and tangled the way they used to lie after long study sessions at Shiz.

“No fair,” Glinda said. “You’re stronger than me!” She reached up to twine her fingers through Elphaba’s hair, pulling her head down for another kiss.

They lay like that for a long moment, kissing and giggling like schoolgirls, before Elphaba sighed and lay back, allowing Glinda to curl against her and lay her head on her chest.

“I can visit you at your cottage, right?” Glinda asked. She lazily traced shapes onto Elphaba’s collarbone with her finger. “You’re always welcome here, of course, if you can make it. But…”

“Of course you can come,” Elphaba said. “For as long as Her Goodness’s work will allow,” she joked. She ran a hand over Glinda’s silky hair. “I’m proud of you, you know. For the work you’ve done. We’re already seeing change, and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Oh, no,” Glinda said. “No, Elphie. You and I both know I would have been useless if it weren’t for you.” She laughed. “Turns out popularity isn’t everything, huh?”

“It certainly doesn’t hurt,” Elphaba said.

“Maybe one day I can use it to make Oz safe for you again.”

Elphaba laughed. “I don’t know about all that,” she said. “But in the meantime, we still have tonight.”

“And many more nights to come.” Glinda smiled and tapped the tip of Elphaba’s nose with her finger.

“Many more,” Elphaba agreed before planting another kiss on Glinda’s lips. “Let’s make the most of it, my love."

[deanofsam]

it just occurred to me that some of you might have missed seeing american football player joe burrow’s suit this past june during paris fashion week, and it is my personal opinion that everyone see these images at least once in their lifetime, especially those of us with a shared interest in slutty clothes on men (fictional or otherwise). so here they are.

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

[normystical]

ATTENTION ALL ALASTOR SHIPPERS: 

uniromantic 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. PROCEED

[dukeofthomas]

"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

[sforzesco]

CAESAR AUGUSTUS AND MARCUS LICINIUS CRASSUS

this is about the spolia opima that crassus was robbed of lmao. like, yeah okay octavian could've asked him not to claim it, but nevertheless. a kind of theft happened there.

Fact and Fiction: Crassus, Augustus, and the Spolia Opima, Catherine McPherson

[kradogsrats]

in dust and ash, my duty's done a mortal flame, eclipsed by the sun

stupid lore context: "held the throne" here is a clever reference I won't bore you with, but it's not about authority or kingship... it's more like "held the line" but with connotations of a mortal (briefly) taking on the burden of standing toe-to-toe with a god