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tastylemonbread · 6 months ago

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At long last, Library's bio is here! A plain text version is available under the cut.

The next god to receive a bio is being voted on now here!

Image 1:

[This one is divided into sections, kinda like a newspaper. The specific formatting isn't really relevant, and it's pretty plain anyway.

Library, #17

Domain over data, memory, and organization.

AKA The Librarian, The Archivist, The Cryptkeeper

[Next to this first section of text is a neat black and white drawing of Library's sigil, a simple symbol comprised of a 2x4 grid of eight rectangles forming a square. The borderlines of the square extend a little past the corners, and an extra line lays horizontal at the bottom of the symbol.]

(next section of text)

PRIMARY:

As old as written word, Library has sought to archive all written works, but expands their purview to include new technologies as they are invented. Though many may assume Library to be meek and nerdy, They can be quite a powerful force if they want to be, possessing abilities such as teleportation, mind reading, and spatial manipulation. It's rare to see these powers used outside of the Grand Library. Being arguably the god of information, they have quite a good understanding of the human mind, and can effortlessly transmit and receive thoughts as long as they have physical contact with the person. Even gazing into Library's odd shelf face is enough to get the mind racing, overclocked with too much miscellaneous information to process. Despite all this, Library is pretty incompetent when it comes to social interaction.

(next section of text)

DOMAIN:

Library holds domain over every written word, work of art, video, audio recording, line of code, punch card, receipt, label, stone carving, and anything else that may be used to store precious precious data. Though Library considers each of these (and more) to be fall under the umbrella of their domain, they do not have control over these. Rather, Library can simply feel when something like that is created, and a copy is set into Library's mind.

(next section of text)

REALM:

Like many other realms, the Grand Library is located on a plane of existence parallel from standard Earth. The Grand Library does not appear to have a floor, walls, or a ceiling, instead contained within a hazy white void filled with neat rows of bookshelves. Despite there being no visible floor, one can walk around as if on solid ground. The rows of shelves go on past what the eye can see, and the place is so large that finding another visitor is incredibly rare. The only entrance and exit to the Grand Library is a set of very large fine oak double doors which connect to the lobby of the Bureau of Divine Intervention, which is the realm of another god that I won't elaborate on here. There are other ways to access the Grand Library, but those doors are the only permanent fixtures. A reception desk is by the entrance inside the Grand Library, at which Library is typically stationed. Since the Grand Library is so inconceivably large, a guide is always needed to find a specific book, and that guide is Library. They can take your hand and instantly zip you to where you need to be. The process is very disorienting, especially for mortals and those who don't regularly visit. Library can always sense where you are, and can always hear you ask for help so long as you are in the Grand Library.

(next section of text)

Relations with other gods:

good: monument, arts, drama, machine, health, hive

bad: flame, sea, war, death, rot, fear

(end of the first image)

Image 2:

[Standing in the center of the image is a tall, slim figure with one hand behind their back and the other raised to wave awkwardly. They are wearing a plain yellow raincoat that conceals most of their body, and brown gloves and boots. Their neck is long, curved, and round, made up of a thick tube of wires with a metal zip-tie keeping them in place. Their head is a cubic bookshelf, with the open side of the bookshelf acting as their face. The multicolored books within the shelf head are arranged in a way that resembles the static color bars of an old CRT TV. There are two more doodles of their head from two different angles, which are described in upcoming text so I'll leave it out here. Around the figure are bits of text that kinda correspond to various physical features of the god.]

(these are the bits of text:)

When walking, their head bobs like a bird.

head is actually a bookshelf, with four little shelves at the bottom. Library's sigil in burned into either side. On the back of their head is a little computer with some wires connected running seamlessly into the shelf.

Big weird hands. Also wires?

Seemingly normal raincoat with a reflective stripe. Nobody's ever actually seen what's under it.

in comparison to other humanoid gods, library is very lanky, standing at 7'3" (222 cm).

Leaves no footprints?

(end of the second image)

Image 3:

[This one has sentences and paragraphs placed around without much purpose. There was some empty space, so I copy + pasted the same doodle of Library laying on their stomach with their feet in the air, but I stretched out the doodles to make em look sillier.]

MISCELLANEOUS BITS:

Prayers, summons, and ceremonies are often answered with very verbose personal letters expressing gratitude, and rarely result in actual face-to-face communication.

Library has been spotted reorganizing human libraries and archives on Earth. They admit that this is a guilty pleasure of theirs, as they usually try not to get involved in mortal affairs otherwise.

All publicly available books in the grand library have been translated into a "universal script" which can be understood by absolutely anybody who is able to read in at least one language. Library is eager to teach people how to write universal script, but lessons are so long and dry that Library is still the only one who knows how to write that way.

Though Library's life is known to be well documented, they have taken efforts to seize all record of their past and politely refuses to share these records publicly.

The largest book in Library's head is actually a binder filled with articles, notes, photos, and other information about each of the gods. Library doesn't actually need to consult the binder, but they like to update it often.

Like many other gods, Library's voice is heard from a listener's POV as if it's just a voice in their own head. Library's "voice" varies depending on who hears it, but consensus seems to be that they speak gently, eloquently, and with a vaguely African accent.

Pulling on their wires isn't a good idea.

Though they appreciate Order's efforts to document and regulate godly affairs, Library finds it too much of a headache to navigate the Bureau of Divine Intervention, and tries to stay away from anything to do with it.

Miscellaneous books and scraps are always seen floating around the Grand Library, sliding into and out of shelves.

(end of third image)

This is the most I've had to describe, but lucky me, most of the images are just comprised of text. If there's any unexpected issues with this plain text version, please let me know. Even if it's just nitpicks, I'd love to hear it.

Thank you for reading/listening to my silly thing :^)

#art tag #oc #writing tag #oc: librarian #oc line: divine

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the-mcyt-crackships-brackets · 10 months ago

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PSA: These Brackets contain multiple Ch!WilburSoot ships, We DO NOT stand with CC!WilburSoot actions, and send all of our support toward shubble, if you are uncomfortable with these ships, please don't interact and/or block the wilbur soot tag. if those ships are too problematic, they can be replaced. anyway his ass got destroyed

Welcome to the MCYT Crackships Bracket!

Here, we will be seing which crackship is the best, and because that statement is vague, you get to make your opinion!

Each crackships was randomly agenced from Characters You chose! (This also sadly means we can't take more submissions, at least yet (mcyt crackships brackets V.2. Confirmed ???))

This is all meant to be in good fun, so please be respectfull with others and use propaganda the least wisely you can! (propaganda isn't endorsed, it's encouraged!)

We as a community can get inspired by these, make art! fanfics! (and if you do, please tag me) of your favorite Crackship!

Maybe we could even find a name for them, after all, maybe the next "big ship" will be in this, who knows?

WE ARE NOW IN THE SEMIFINALS!

The brackets will not be revealed yet, but when all of the polls will be published! this way, we can still get you surprised!

*Orionsound - Rat SMP version

*LDshadowlady - Empire SMP season 1 version

*Zombiecleo - Pirate SMP version

*Katherine Elizabeth - Empire SMP season 2 version

*Fundy - L'Manberg version

*Fwhip - Empire SMP season 1 version

*Pearlescentmoon - Double life version

*Slimecicle - QSMP version

Our thoughts and observations under the cut!

Round 1:

I clearly thought Ninjaslap would be the biggest sweep, but pixltoile suprisingly fought well, And fish yuri left no shot to Zaypixel and Geminitay

Round 1.1.3 was extremly close, but Shubble x Hypno won by O.8%! (≈4 peoples!)

We already got two piece of "propagandart" (propaganda art) in round 1, and both were for Fish yuri! (by @t4tpolypd and @staringamassivemistakeintheface)

Round 2:

Mogbeans/Swamp boys tried hard but T4T yuri was stronger (My boys 😭 - Admin 1)

Littlesoot got its ass kicked by hotguy/fundy and was crying in a corner when suddendly, out of nowhere, it took itlwblr by storm, broke containment, the poll broke 1k votes, became the most noted of the brackets (yet) and won with a large margin!

FWhilza fought well but Bighills was stronger

Fish Yuri still prevail with the biggest sweep yet (87.3%!!!)

Jojosolos/Jack Manifold vs Tommyinnit/Scott Smajor was the closest yet! (50.1 to 49.9!!!!)

So many art!!!!!!! look at the tag (#propagandart) it's worth it!!!!!

Round 3 and PURGATORY 1 :

Scegg vs Stresstherine was so close it switched side at least 5 times!

i'm genuenely impressed by clownscar comeback they've constantly been close but didn't get ahead during the whole poll and somehow managed to win in the last stretch!

WE MADE MOGBEANS CANON!!!!!!! VIVA LA SOS SMP!!!!

Fish Yuri is unstopable and has killed many great ships now (rip Bighills we loved you so much)

Bdubs Smol Bdubs is tall!

Content SMP fans are sad today, the last two ships they had just sank! (bye bye Evillnox and Skizzlerat)

So much art! and even more as been promised! (you need to check out #propagandart if you haven't already)

Round 4 and PURGATORY 2 :

Fish Wives felt resistence to the first time facing Clownscar, but still they were too powerful

Clownscar you will forever live in our hearts

Wilbur you're a pig, Yuri beat his ass! (and so they did)

Zombiecello/Ivorycleo popped off! >90% sweepage!

3/8 ships still in line are yuri, but none of them are part of the PURGATORY Brackets!

Goodbye Zaypixel, our only Yuri Loss this round :(

You guys seem to love shipping Ethoslab a lot (bunch of ethogirls) as he is in 35% of the remaining ships

even more art, and art trades! (go ceck out #propagandart and #takin' request)

Round 5 and Purgatory 3:

Yuri lost so much, and is now only represented by Fish Wives :(

Half of the ships still in have a wild etho in them (ethogirls rise up!)

The now no-longer-crackship mogbeans is still thriving and bested the fan-favorite fwhilza!

Seapeekarl fought well, but lost to the ethogirls again

this is the first round where they weren't a >40% sweep! but the choice are only getting harder from here!

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zablife · 5 months ago

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Could we please please PLEASE get a part two of “Happiness is a Butterfly” ? It’s so heartbreaking!!🥺🥺🥺poor reader!!

Hi lovely, I'm pleased to hear you enjoyed the fic enough to want more! I hadn't planned on writing a second part, but as I stopped to consider it, my mind went wild with possibilities if Johnny found out the reader didn't follow his instructions. If you're curious how he reacted to the news she kept the baby, you can read it under the cut. Warnings: This is a very dark version of Johnny and it's def OOC so don't come for me!! I explored another side of him here that even scares me. Threats of violence!!

As Johnny's best friend Brucie kept watch for him those first few months, his eyes and ears trained on you to be sure you didn't do something stupid like approach Betty in the market or outside the girls' school. He soon realized it was a waste of time because you didn't have a vengeful bone in your body. You resumed a quiet, and somewhat lonely, life on the other side of town almost immediately. However, the more he followed you, noticing a routine of doctor's visits and frequent stops in the children's boutique downtown, he came to a damning conclusion. You were still pregnant.

Though Johnny seemed keen to know about this detail of your life so he could ensure you did as he asked, something always stopped Brucie from confiding it, his benevolent nature outweighing his loyalty. Who was he to say you didn't deserve to keep your child? And you'd asked nothing in return so far as he could tell, cutting ties with Johnny and the Vandals. So against his better judgement he returned home for good to keep your secret.

It was a decision he would come to regret as he sat waiting for the January meeting to begin, passing Gail a beer as she chatted idly with Johnny. The words seemed frozen on her lips even as she uttered them, Brucie's jaw going slack at the mention of your name. "Yeah, the kid's big as a house! Who woulda thought she'd be havin' a little one so soon, huh?"

Johnny's face hardened into an unreadable mask, careful not to show any outward signs of shock or surprise. However, Brucie knew his friend well enough to recognize the silent rage building behind his eyes. His pursed lips turned to an insincere smile as he stroked his beard thoughtfully. "So who's the lucky guy?" he prodded, looking between Brucie and Gail.

The tightness in Brucie's chest grew until he could no longer stand it, reaching for a cigarette to distract himself with some small measure of comfort. Corky and Wahoo played a game of pool in the corner, the harsh clack of breaking pool balls punctuating the silence as they began circling the table to line up the next shot.

Gail shrugged, "Some no account she was seein' over the summer. I don't remember anybody comin' around though, do you?" she asked casually before adding, "Anyway, he ain't gonna help. Sad, huh?" Swiveling in her chair, she turned to her husband. "Brucie, honey, that reminds me. I promised her you'd go over and shovel the stairs. They're covered in snow and ice."

"Sure," he replied with a slow exhale of smoke, accepting the kiss she placed on his cheek as she excused herself from the table.

Johnny took a moment to light a cigarette as he waited for Gail to walk out of earshot, eventually ducking his head in quiet conference. "You know Betty's cousin took a bad fall this time last year. It's a real shame when accidents happen, ain't it?" he mused, eyes roving over Brucie's to be sure he understood.

Brow knit with concern over the implication, Brucie shook his head against the idea, "Don't do this, you're not thinkin' straight."

Fist pounding against the table hard enough to rattle the scores of empty beer bottles, Johnny seethed, "Me? You had a chance to tell me and you didn't!" He inhaled deeply, collecting himself before adding ominously, "so now this has to happen a different way."

Brucie looked away as indignation kindled a fire inside him. He set his jaw tightly before he ground out his firm reply. "She didn't do anything wrong, Johnny. You gonna punish her for your sins?"

Johnny scoffed, "And I suppose you're Mother Theresa?" Pointing his cigarette at his friend he growled, "You forget the times I protected you, all the years we known each other." He held Brucie's gaze with a knowing look before Brucie tore his eyes away, stabbing the butt of his cigarette into the table forcefully.

Brucie bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood, swallowing harshly as he realized this was an argument he wouldn't win. If it wasn't him, Johnny would send someone else.

Seeing the look of resignation wash over Brucie's face, Johnny sat back in his chair and propped his feet on the table, lacing his hands over his stomach with a satisfied nod. "That's what I thought."

#zablife ask box #the bikeriders fanfiction #Johnny Davis fanfiction #johnny davis x reader

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henrysglock · 1 year ago

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"I Have Nightmares—" "That's Not A Sin." "Yeah, Except I'm Pretty Sure I Can Actually Make Them Come True."

Okay. This is about to get real shrimpy, because I'm relying on mid-quality video for mid quality pictures...so you guys just have to work with me.

I think this sequence is almost entirely fake:

As in...I straight up don't think those tentacles or this sequence ever existed IRL.

I'm getting the feeling that Henry IRL attacked Mr. Newby the same way he later attacks Brenner and Inmate 58361:

Eye-crushing, no breaking bones for 58361 (very similar to El's kill style), and then shot straight through the ceiling for Brenner. Same as Mr. Newby, but in two parts.

I'm actually fairly certain Henry's having a vision in the attic sequence.

We see this same red lighting appear just minutes before, when Patty's mother turns into a Vecna-fied version of herself to attack Henry...the same Vecna-type makeup Patty gets in Henry's vision of her back during the first DOTM rehearsal:

You can't see it from this angle, but Patty's mom has even got the clawed left hand and everything while she's forcing void-Henry to move in sync with her.

The next time we see Henry IRL, the lighting is back to normal and he's levitating on his own:

They close the curtains:

And when they come back up, he's bathed in red and strung up on the tentacles with Dimension X lightning in the background:

When the sequence ends, Henry in the void/on the stage floor drops to the ground in a heap, and "Henry" on the tentacles falls into a crouch:

But when we see IRL Henry next, the lighting is normal and he's picking himself up off the floor, just like void Henry:

Hell, Henry even tries to hide in the light of a "perfect" memory (Patty and him getting kicked out of Melvald's) when red-light Patty tells him, and I quote, "It's not real, it's a nightmare," (words Henry says to himself constantly) before going on to tell him it doesn't have to be a nightmare, he can make it a good dream.

And when he starts to lose his grip on that memory, Patty in the red light tells him "It's your dream, remember? Anything is possible". Smash cut to the weird "I love you" and Henry freeing himself from the monster (for the moment).

This all becomes especially shrimpresting when you consider that it was red-lighting Patty who told Henry she loves him, and who snapped at him that he had to say it back to fight off the monster.

However, when Henry IRL tries to catch normal-lighting Patty to tell her where to find her mother, she screams "let go of me!" at him while she runs away and leaves him to pick himself up off the attic floor:

Patty remains terrified of Henry right up until Mr. Newby begs her to save him.

That doesn't sound like someone who just confessed their love to Henry as a way to try and walk him back out of the darkness. It just doesn't.

It sounds like, maybe, Henry pulling on a different memory of Patty to try and save himself, or something along those lines. (Staring at Stav's post about the void being the alternate timeline, since he would be both in the void and in a vision...Henward are you trying to save each other..? Anyway, that's shrimping for a different post.) Namely, the memory I'm thinking of is the confession booth scene. Henry tells Patty that he's pretty sure he can make his nightmares come true, and she advises him it's his dream, so why not make it a good one next time?

Arguably, you could say that Patty's trying that same shtick again under wildly different circumstances/she put it all together and knows what he needs to do to break free.

But then...if she, while being actively attacked, is so willing to stand by Henry/help him to the point where she's confessing her love for him, then why does she run and leave him to put himself back together even though he's obviously in distress? Why is she so terrified of him, to the point where she doesn't dare tell Bob about what really happened in the attic for fear of Henry coming after her?

It doesn't add up.

So, tl;dr: I don't think Patty ever said "I love you" to Henry at all. I think that whole damn sequence was a nightmare vision.

I think the "I love you" was something else, whether it be Henry subconsciously "making it a good dream" to save himself, irl Patty, and Mr. Newby...or someone else who a) knows what to do/how to help Henry, and b) is, as Patty says, "Connected, whether [Henry] likes it or not".

As a side note for support: Even Joyce and Hopper display more care for Henry post-attic than Patty does. Now, Patty is well within her rights to be terrified of Henry and not want anything to do with him, don't get me wrong...But don't try to tell me Henry and Patty are "true love/love at first sight" when Joyce and Hopper are ready to go take down Victor in part because Henry's gone missing.

The Jopper conversation when Joyce is convincing Hopper to help her take down Victor goes, and I quote:

Joyce: What about Henry, hm? Any explanation about what happened to him? Why no one knows where he is, or why it's like he disappeared? Hopper: No one knows anything...or if they do, they're not talking.

Meanwhile, Patty is refusing to talk about what happened in the attic because she's terrified that Henry's listening, and that he'll come after her if she talks.

That's not convincing for "true love/love at first sight".

#i'm actually in shambles about Henry and Joyce's barely-there friendship #Joyce was really good to him when he was outcast/being a weird kid #It's like...no wonder she shows Will so much love. Just look at how she treats the brand new weirdo.#st: tfs #tfs spoilers

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audiblehush · 10 months ago

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I began looking over the episode titles for S3 again… and that “Tick Tock” title has me mulling over some things… Book Spoilers below!

Spoilers / theories

I’m assuming that like in the books, someone (whether Cressida or someone new) tries to claim the LW title and so Pen is under a time crunch to print a denial… and of course Colin likely discovers her while she goes to do so… because the next episode title is “Romancing Mr. Bridgerton.”

(But being that the next episode title is “Joining of Hands” I’m worried they’re not going to give Colin at least a full episode to grapple with that reveal… sigh. He deserves to have time to feel and express his feelings—be they sadness or anger— about that…)

But I ALSO wondered with how the show IS obviously changing other aspects of the story, if maybe Colin or Eloise will be under a time crunch to do something surrounding Pen… to parallel the time-sensitive situations where Pen felt back into a corner and made decisions that had reachingn consequences.

Maybe Colin learns something about Debling , who we know is going to be a “serious” suitor for Pen (whatever that ends up meaning), that makes his interest in her dishonest or ruinous? (to attempt to parallel the Marina situation, though, not the same - poor Marina was in a desperate spot. Doesn’t excuse what she tried to do, but the girl had almost no options). I don’t even need/want Colin to be romantically jealous - Pen is his friend first, and would be trying to look out for her for her happiness… he just also happens to be hella horny for her now andmaybealittkeinlovewithhernohesnotindenial 🤷‍♀️

Or Maybe Eloise has to make a monumental choice regarding the Queen who is still hunting for LW? And Eloise, being the only one who knows her identity, is the only one who can do something to save her friend, even if she’s furious at her?

How I felt about it would depending highly on the execution of such a plot line. Because it could be amazing for the characters in terms of reconciliation and understanding where each person was coming from (can you imagine the conversations??) in this season and earlier ones… that being said, I don’t want it to be used as an excuse for Pen to not have to apologize, but it could be a powerful moment between Penelope and either Colin or Eloise. A “walk in another person’s shoes” moment, if you will, where all characters involved realizes that nothing in those situations was clear cut. No one was blameless.

…but it would be a big departure from the book.

But so many things are already different - I want the story that has BEEN told with THESE versions of the characters to be done well… not just book accuracy for the sake of it.

ANYWAY, I’m tired of all the vitriol I’ve seen floating around for various characters. I have faith the writers will give us something satisfying.

I love Colin (my soft boi is the BEST male love interest on this show FIGHT ME)…

and I love Pen (shy, complicated, multifaceted, both powerful and powerless in equal measure, has a complete lack of real vulnerability out of fear… I don’t know if I’ve ever encountered a character like her before)…

And I can’t WAIT to see what this season does with them 🩵

#bridgerton #polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #eloise bridgerton

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kinetic-elaboration · 1 year ago

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July 6: Linctavia, Troubled

Lincoln/Octavia, Octavia-centric, ~1,200 words

For the prompt "Calm and its antonyms (troubled, harsh, furious, worried)" for July Break Bingo 2023 @julybreakbingo

This was originally going to include some more events and stretch a little longer, in a way that would have made better use of the prompt, but I got caught up in the atmosphere of the "intro" and decided, this is good enough as is. It's technically set in the same universe as one of my (many) unwritten WIPs.

The heavy clouds that have been following them for days finally burst, just as Lincoln and Octavia make it to the shore. Lincoln can't light the signal fire, and anyway, he says, Floukru would never send out boats in this sort of storm. So they pitch their tent just past the tree line and hide themselves there, claustrophobic and breathless, for thirty-six hours until the sky lightens and the violent weather starts to calm.

Octavia has never seen water like this in her life. For the first hour, she stands out in the whirlwind, lets herself get drenched. She's not tired of the rain yet, the tempestuous and harsh and vicious weather of the ground. Better, she thinks, than a slow march of the same, the same, the same, every single day, lights that rise and fade with a computer's rhythm, air recycled through machines. Better than that. Out here, the bitter, cold wind makes her shiver and the rain soaks through her clothes within minutes and then gathers slick and cold on her skin, weights down her clothes and her hair. The sound of it as it hits the ocean, turns the sand of the beach to mud, of the thunder rolling thick and close above her, roiling through a deep gray sky sometimes cut through with quick, sharp flashes of light, all intrigue and fascinate her more than they discomfort.

More than that, she simply cannot stop looking at the water. The ocean. Water without boundaries or barriers, water stretching out to the horizon's edge, water crashing with such power and force against the rocks at the land's end. Water foaming white and angry at its edges, and farther out a deep blue mixed with shades of black and lighter blue, spiked and uneven with waves, rolling over and over itself as if powered by an invisible engine deep underground. She gets caught up in the hypnotic rhythm of the waves. The turbulent blue sliding over blue, the power of the water as it hits and hits and hits the shore.

Lincoln stands next to her, squinting through the sharp needles of rain. He's trying to hold a jacket over them, but the partial roof only magnifies the sound of the raindrops; sheets of water slide down from it and splash against Octavia's back and legs.

He follows her sight line across the vastness of the sea.

"It reminds me of you," he says. She can barely hear him, even shouting. The storm swallows up his voice, blows it away on the wind.

"I don't see it," she answers.

Lincoln's shoulder bumps against hers. If he weren't holding up the jacket, he would probably try to take her hand. For a while now, since not long after they left the settlement, she's been quiet and hard to reach, and it's not out of spite that she's pulled in on herself, and yet she can't bring herself to stop. Living under the floor, she learned to keep her own company. She taught herself a quiet and a stillness that surprised and impressed the warriors she trained with, that startles and disconcerts those who've only known her on the ground. They’re more familiar with the version of herself she’s since unleashed. As soon as she stepped foot on earth, she told herself that all she'd know here was freedom. Here she could be loud, unfiltered, angry, passionate, wild. And she was, and she let herself be.

But when her energy runs out and the dust of adventure settles, she retreats again to the quiet, from the safety of bravado to the safety of her own inscrutable silence. Into this inner space, she allows people only slowly. Lincoln is there sometimes. Not always.

That first night on the shore, still damp and cold, huddling together for warmth in their tent, he asks her if she has regrets, and she stays silent a long time then, too.

He asks again, "Do you wish we'd stayed at the settlement? With the hundred?"

"No." She's tracing patterns on his chest. "We don't belong there. You'll always be a Grounder and I'll never be a Sky Person." Swirls and hearts and triangles, circles, spikes. The shapes of his tattoos, sometimes, which she's memorized. The words are a refrain now, a sort of prayer. "You said... you said Luna's clan is made up of people like us, right? People who don't belong anywhere else?"

"Yeah." He sighs, and she feels the deep intake and exhale of breath, lifting her up and settling her down again like the waves of the ocean outside. He sounds weary, like this is a tale he's told many times as well. "She'll take in anyone who... who's tired of the way the rest of the world is."

"That could mean anything."

He laughs, and nods. His hand slides up and tangles, heavy, in her wet hair. "Usually it means tired of the fighting, the blood lust. Everyone waiting for an insult or injury they can avenge. There's none of that in Luna's clan. They just... think totally differently." He lets his palm fall on her shoulder, briefly hugs her close. "It's a new clan. Not many people born into it. Belonging... doesn't mean what you're used to."

Belonging means family. Belonging means having people you'd do anything for, fight monsters for, give your life for. That's always been so deeply ingrained in her that she's never thought it out in so many words. She hopes he won't ask again if she has regrets.

"I've never done anything like this before," she admits, nuzzling the words against his collar bone, his cool, rain-drenched skin. "Just left." Not by herself, at least, not like this. Not of her own volition, without convincing, without force, in the absence of necessity.

"I have," Lincoln answers. "But I always came back."

Outside, a wild and unwelcoming sea. They'll cross it in boats when the weather settles. She tries to imagine herself, rocking up and down on those waves, heady with seasickness, breathing that cold and salty air she could just barely perceive beneath the storm, watching the shore move farther and farther away. She pictures the sky a near-colorless white, perhaps the crossing of a bird above, and as a soundtrack, the creak of wood, the splash of water against wood. Like a story she's been told. Around her more and more of the sea, and the land increasingly distant, until it's a line at the horizon, and the barriers between her and every almost-home she's ever known stacking higher and higher, stretching longer and wider. Once crossed, could she ever cross the ocean again?

A heavy, cold feeling in her stomach. Pinprick shivers along her limbs.

Lincoln holds her closer, rubs her back and sides, tries to warm her as the storm picks up again, lashes of rain against the tent, heavy winds shaking the nylon walls, cracks of lightning she can see with her eyes closed. The rhythm of the waves, the inscrutable sea.

Someday she'll see it wide and endless and calm, a jewel-like blue sparkling with glints of reflected sun. She tries her hardest to swallow down that irrational fear. She'll love the ocean then. The beauty and safety of it will finally become her peace.

#the 100 #octavia blake #lincoln the 100 #lincoln #octavia x lincoln #linctavia #lincoln x octavia #mine #my writing #the year 2023 #2023: free write #julybreakbingo #sky village

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run-down-that-dream · 1 year ago

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some concert ramblings from last weekend under the cut!!!

I SAW MY BELOVED OLD MAN and I'm still so AAAAAAAAA about it even though it's the 3rd time lol 😭 I didn't get as close to the stage this time but! everyone stayed out of my way for the most part so I'll take it!!

Setlist:

Rainy Day Women #12 & 35

wait wait wait I already have something to say. starting with BOB after the whole farm aid thing???? insane?? plus it was a festival setting so. the crowd's reaction to "everybody must get stoned" was freakin hilarious. definitely started off right 😭

Wreckless Abandon

Dirty Job

External Combustion

MY FAVORITE MY FAVORITE!! shoutout to Chris Holt for his backing vocals throughout the whole show but especially on external combustion OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU CHRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also it didn't seem like they were planning on doing that one??? lol there was some discussion and then like. ok let's do it. AAAAAAAAA

Lightning Boogie

Don't Fade on Me

excuse me while I cry. day after tom's birthday and they're playing don't fade on me. that's fine. it was the only song that mike played an acoustic guitar on. and chris had this really beautiful electric part to go with it and. I'm shocked I didn't actually start crying. well. maybe just a little bit. they played it so perfectly. anyway it's starting to feel like it's not a concert unless I cry at least once so!! there it is

Shake These Blues

NEW SONG NEW SONG NEW SONG!! I LOVE!! you know when you hear a song for the first time and you just know. plus I thought it was funny that mike said management keeps telling them to stop playing the new songs but, "we're gonna do it anyway" aslkjlsjklas so much loveeee to him for that

Fuck That Guy

Fault Lines

why does something happen every time they play fault lines lmaoo. the first two times I saw them mike messed up the lyrics and this time they had to play it in a slightly different order 'cause one (or two? hard to tell) of his strings broke. chinner came to the rescue with a whole new guitar in the middle of the song. someone behind me was like hey why does no one do that for me when I play 😭 MOOD

Wicked Mind

I Still Love You

MY OTHER FAVORITE AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! a song that allows the guitars to go into the stratosphere as mike said. also I wish I could remember exactly what he said but he introduced it as I still love you with like a string of petnames attached asfjlkds STOP 😭 ignore that I would absolutely melt if this 73 year old man called me any of them

Then something very special TO ME happened ok.. mike asked for his rickenbacker 12 string, said the next song was NOT on the setlist, NOT discussed beforehand, and the band had NO IDEA what he was about to do. it was his "request" and one of the songs that made him want a 12 string in the first place. then proceeded to start the byrds' version of

Mr. Tambourine Man

then there's me absolutely losing my mind. I'm - ok. get this. I was literally listening to the byrds that afternoon??? since I got a few more of their records?? and to have mike just randomly decide to play the byrds was INSANE. was there some kind of connection there OR WHAT???? that was just..... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 obviously that was just for ME 😭😭😭😭😭 that's my guyyy

at this point the band gets their introductions and you know what. they all deserve so much appreciation. I haven't mentioned lance or steve yet but they were absolutely solid as a rhythm section and deserve to be noticed for that. lance might actually be up there as one of my favorite bass players tbh. those songs would not sound the way they do without my favorite instrument holding them up!! also I thought it was cute that mike introduced chris and lance and went that's it! that's the band! lmaoo the crowd knew better and I LOVE that. steve got such a big reaction AS HE SHOULD!! and steve did come up front to introduce mike like he has been. and he made a really heartfelt speech about how they met and how walking into those wildflowers sessions started the best 30 years of his life. I'm so grateful that I've been able to see them together a couple times now. there's clearly a lot of love, respect, and pure friendship there that's really beautiful to see in person. anyway. now that I'm almost crying again, they end on two more of tom's songs

You Wreck Me

mike said, "happy birthday tom, we're still here for you" 😭😭😭

Runnin' Down a Dream

featuring the best freakin guitar solo everrrr OF COURSE

as if I didn't make it obvious enough already, I had such a great timeee 😭 I always do!!! I think what really gets me though is that these guys are just people. of course they are?? but it's so so obvious when you're with them and watching them interact with each other and the crowd. it's really silly little things that I notice too and I'm just like. I love these people. at one point mike asked to have the bass in his ear lowered and lance acted sad about it. during the introductions mike looked at chris and went, "you're trouble" and chris got a laugh out of that. when steve came up to the mic one of the first things he said was "do you like my jacket" lmaoo he bought it from one of the vendors at the festival and they gave him a discount to say that asjfdlkf. talent and songs and everything else aside, those little things make concerts so so special to me. I also absolutely adore how much credit mike gives the guys for keeping him going and inspired. this is a band. not just some random guys. it's kinda like what the heartbreakers were for tom, it just wouldn't happen without the right people.

once it was over, mike left us with a little piece of advice that. I just had to write down for my own reasons

in his words, "love somebody, and let them love you back"

and that felt like the perfect way to end the night 🥺

#in short. my heart is still so full I could just 💥#every time I see mike I fall a little more in love and I didn't even think that was POSSIBLE at this point but here we are!!!#I've only made a post like this once before but. for the sake of organization:#sunny's concert thoughts #the dirty knobs

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i-can-even-burn-salad · 1 year ago

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Writer Q&A

I was tagged by @clairelsonao3 and I think I'll leave it an open tag, because it's a whole lot of questions and I am tired and can't think.

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

What if I started writing in English?

More under the cut, template at the end.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

Ok so. Kinda two. One was basically "but does he have to be gay?" about a side character (Cedric) who just arrived with packed bags and a husband. It annoyed me so much, I made sure there wasn't a single confirmed straight char in the next book.

The other was also about Glass Shards, the first version of which was very similar to the current one, including the two scenes of SA. Which got basically a concerned "do you want to say anything with that?"

Which yes. I had a lot of frustrations back then, but not like that. And I get the question for the SA. No one asks me about the childhood trauma or any of the other shit. The possibility of people jumping to conclusions is always at the back of my mind when I think about sharing what I write.

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

Creating something. Just. I made something. I can hold it. I can share it. It exists, and it will not un-exist.

Fuck editing, though, I don't like it, and fuck worrying about putting it out there.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

The story I want to tell does not exist, so I need to write it.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

Not a piece, but a very dear friend once went through the trouble of leaving so. many. line. edits. on two of my chapters when I had just started out writing in English. I truly believe that has done more for my style than all the "don't use adverbs! :)" — "don't listen to them! >:(" posts ever could.

Half of those edits could probably be summarized as "please remove this and" 🤣 I like to think I've since gotten better at uh, balancing sentence structure and length 😬

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

I think I answered something similar to this before, and it boils down to... I don't know. I think my progression was fine. There's no glaring problem that could have been fixed by a glorious piece of knowledge. Yes, I "wasted" years of my life trying to worldbuild, but I don't think I would have been ready to write a story I was happy with anyway, so whatever.

Without the hundreds of books I've read, without the roleplays I did, without the friends I found, without the games I played, I would not be where I am today, and I like where I am today. The time I spent experimenting, and the time I spent away from writing, doing other things I enjoyed, was not wasted.

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Should I cheat and count the Glass Shard saga as one? I mean technically it starts at Nuisance and ends at Fancy Boots :)

I only wish I were done editing already, I know the first chapters especially can be better. But alas, it asked for story, not prose :p

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

I mean, if we leave the bad guys out of this (I am sure hoping no one here agrees with Ed! 😂), Cedric is fun in fiction, but I actually do not think a murdery criminal is a good role model, no matter how kind he is to people he likes.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

"Whoa, cool. Can I read that?"

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

#salad-tag #I mean yeah write what you want is always a mentioned advice here but #I already kinda did?#I guess I've gotten a bit braver and more graphic but eh not that much I'd have to waste a whole answer on that :p

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estellamiraiauthor · 2 years ago

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The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 33)

Well, I did it. I went back to this second-to-last chapter, which wasn’t hard because I don’t like it or because it was hard to write…but because I do love it and I wish with all my heart it had reached more than the 50 or so people it ultimately did.

spoilers under the cut.

So I know I’m really critical of my own writing a lot of the time, but I actually really like what I did here, ending chapter 32 with “thank you for all the years to come” and then when you flip the page to chapter 33, it’s four years later and the band is still doing well.

So the goal over these first few pages was to show that Teru had been successful, that he had grown as a person, but that he still missed Rei. So the band is on TV, promoting a new single which Teru actually wrote the lyrics for. I think this is HUGE growth on his part, going from “I don’t know, anything’s fine” to actually writing an intensely personal song and performing it on national TV.

I wrote all of the lyrics for this book myself, by the way (since Japanese isn’t my first language, I did hire an editor to brush them up a little, but they’re mostly mine), and other than maybe the “ai ga sakikaeru made” (until love blooms again) that’s kind of the central theme, these lyrics are probably my favorite. Because it was written by Teru, I didn’t need to follow the sort of preposterous level of melodramatic angst that Rei likes to write, and sort of drew on some softer pop influences for a more personal song (that’s pretty blatantly about Rei).

Then we get a little interview with the band, which catches the reader up on everything that’s happened over the past four years. Rei’s last song, Sweet Goodbye, was a massive hit, and they’ve been doing okay since then, but haven’t quite matched that initial success. Of course, being reminded of how the band really is missing something without Rei just reminds Teru of how HE is missing something too. I feel really bad for him here… I think he thought that singing this song would bring him closure, but is there any such thing as closure? It’s really just making him sadder and more nostalgic.

This chapter has a couple of my very favorite lines, the first one here being “the worst part of losing someone isn’t the moment they’re gone, but all the moments after that. All the times they should’ve been there, and they’re not.”

It’s worth mentioning here that this is the only chapter I wrote out of order. Of course, I went back and edited and added to things, and that wasn’t always in order, but I almost always start the first draft with Chapter 1, and work toward the end. But I actually wrote the very last chapter, chapter 34, before this one, and came back to fill in these scenes.

I’m not really sure why I did that, except that I knew from the start exactly what I wanted to do with the last chapter, whereas this one went through a couple of different versions before settling on this one.

ANYWAY! The next scene is really to show how Teru has grown over the past four years. He didn’t have a driver’s license before; now he has a probably-expensive sports car. He hasn’t smoked in four years… I kind of think he quit cold turkey when Rei left, and that all of this is sort of a semi-conscious effort to be a better person the way Rei maybe needed or wanted him to be. (I mean, not driving doesn’t make you a bad person, and people who are addicted to nicotine or anything else aren’t bad or weak or anything either… but to Teru, because Rei wanted him to quit smoking, and because he felt guilty for not being able to drive when it was hard for Rei to go out, I think he sees those things as ways he could become more the kind of partner that Rei needed.)

I don’t think he really expects to ever see Rei again at this point. He’s not necessarily doing these things FOR Rei… but he kind of is, at some level.

He drives past the Ferris wheel where they had that long-ago date… this was actually a nice thing I was able to add BECAUSE I had to change the location of the Ferris wheel in editing. The original location of the date was nowhere near the TV studio (which is 100% obviously the Fuji TV studio, although in the interest of avoiding trademark violations etc. I never say so).

And then he kind of randomly goes to Ikebukuro. He has no real reason for going there, specifically, and I think he knows that. There’s a shopping center there, but there are a million similar places in Tokyo… it’s just a whim, and I think it’s really fate. For storytelling purposes, I picked that particular location because there’s a stage you can access without buying a ticket or anything… good for dramatic effect?

We also see that he’s casually dating a guy… this is also growth, I think. He’s comfortable enough with his sexuality now to try to date again, and to include men in his potential partners… but we can also infer from this that he hasn’t had a *serious* relationship since Rei.

In an earlier version of this chapter, it was set on a different New Year’s Day… I think the band had broken up, and Teru was in a slightly more committed relationship. I think that felt off for a number of reasons though, so I’m glad I changed it! Some early readers commented that it was too depressing if the band broke up so soon… and that was true, so I’m grateful for that feedback!

I also considered a version where Teru DIDN’T ever see Rei again, it was just an epilogue where he was happy and comfortable being himself and was ultimately grateful for what the relationship had given him… I think that also could’ve worked, but it would’ve been sad.

In the version set on another New Year’s Day, Teru heard a song that he KNEW had to be written by Rei, and used the publication information on the CD to track him down… but that ALSO didn’t work, because it didn’t really answer the question of why he would do that THEN, and not at any other moment, or why Rei would suddenly be okay with it after all those years.

So, the final version really just came to me one day… it still uses the idea of hearing a song… first, Utada Hikaru’s “First Love” on the PA system. Even if you don’t know that song, you should be able to tell from the title that it would remind Teru of Rei (again; this day has been an onslaught of reminders). But the song itself really is perfect, too: it’s about how your first love will always be your first love, even if and when both of you move on. It was also REALLY popular around the time Teru and Rei were together, so it probably reminds him of that time period in general, too.

But then, of course, the REALLY fateful song is Saki’s. Someone is playing that song that Saki wrote for Rei and that Minori wouldn’t put on the album… and there’s really only one person it could be. Teru thinks to himself that only six living people (the five members of the band and Rei) know that song, but there’s not really anyone else it could be. If any of his bandmates play piano at all, it’s definitely not at Rei’s level. There’s no reason any of them would be here in the first place since Teru JUST left them at the TV studio. And why would they be playing a song none of them really liked? There’s really no reason for Teru OR the reader to think it could possibly be anyone other than Rei.

I don’t actually remember at what point Saki’s song became a plot point. If it was there in the VERY first draft, it would have been only for that little fluffy scene where Teru plays air drums, and I’m not sure that scene was there either. The conflict with Minori was added later, along with the parts with Bara’s new band, because I needed to flesh out that music-related subplot to help move the main relationship plot along, and in THAT draft, by the time I got to this scene, everything just kind of fell into place, and I knew that it had to be Saki’s song that brought them back together.

There were a couple of reasons for this. First, it just works better than some random new song that just somehow “sounds like Rei” or anything the band actually recorded (which could be anyone, really, since a large number of people would have heard that album by now). Second, it sort of addresses both Teru’s jealousy of Saki and Rei’s fears that Saki might not have wanted him to find happiness with someone else. Now, this isn’t a religious book or a ghost story. Teru and Rei both admit that they don’t know what they believe regarding the afterlife… but if you choose to subscribe to the idea that Saki is somehow still watching over Rei, he clearly doesn’t object to them being together. (Or, death is the end and it’s just fate. Or a coincidence. It works any of those ways.)

So, Teru KNOWS. And that gives him the power to decide here how this is going to go. He COULD leave. Or he could go back to the stage and see for himself. And of course he’s going to do the latter. He tells himself he should leave, but that’s just because he thinks Rei still doesn’t want to see him. Teru (obviously, if you’ve been reading the chapter up to now) wants to see Rei more than anything in the world.

And I think Rei DOES want to see Teru again too… he always has. But he sees that as a selfish want, and still thinks he’s doing Teru a favor by staying away. And he doesn’t really know if Teru’s seeing anyone. He’s secretly relieved every week when the tabloids come out and there’s no mention of Teru in any relationship, but he also knows the tabloids don’t get everything, and the more time passes the more he can just tell himself that Teru’s happy, he’s successful, there’s no need to mess with that.

But of course Teru’s not perfectly happy, so… you know, I find it really hard to comment on this scene because I love it. When it came to me, it didn’t even feel like I came up with it… it was just THE WAY THE STORY ENDED. And I guess it took me so long and made me so depressed to talk about this chapter because I just… really wanted to share it with the world, to have other people be rooting for these guys as hard as I did… and it sucks that I think this book only ended up finding maybe 0.1% of its potential audience.

But I am grateful for those of you who did find it. ❤️

Anyway. I also needed to show how Rei had changed, and I know some readers feel like I didn’t do enough here to show that he had also spent the past four years growing and becoming better. I… somewhat agree with that? By which I mean I DO think I show that he has changed enough to give them a better chance at being happy together, and I think there are some things that are just hard to show because we’re not in his POV (like, I think he’s probably going to therapy and working on processing his grief in a healthier way, but that’s not exactly something that Teru can physically SEE). At the same time, there was one thing in particular I didn’t do and wish I had.

Backtracking to what I DID do—the most obvious visible change is that he’s using a wheelchair. I intended this to be pretty major, seeing as in the LAST chapter he was in (even though it was four years ago in universe) he was actively refusing to do so despite being recently (re-)injured and really not able to walk. I also did make a point of having him stand later on just to make it 100% clear that this is a case of his attitude toward mobility aids and self care getting BETTER, not his physical condition getting WORSE… this is like a nice custom power chair too that he would’ve had to put some time and thought and money into ordering and having made… so it was SUPPOSED to physically show a very significant change in his outlook.

He’s also wearing a black wig here, but other than maybe just not wanting to stand out on this particular day (but then like, why play gorgeous theatrical metal piano in the middle of a giant shopping center?), I think it was just me realizing that I HAD THE CHANCE TO GIVE HIM A DIFFERENT HAIR COLOR EVERY SCEBE AND SHOULD HAVE TAKEN BETTER ADVANTAGE OF THAT. 😂

Later, when they embrace, Teru also noticed that he’s not QUITE as skinny as he used to be, and I’m not sure if this really gets across but THAT IS A GOOD THING. It’s also possibly just a “being 40” thing but… no. He’s EATING. Yay self care!

Anyway. There were other things I considered doing but ultimately decided against… like I mentioned before, I didn’t think it would be in character to make the choice to amputate his arm. But I really, REALLY regret that he’s still wearing the same mask in this scene.

So, this book actually had two literary agents… the first quit agenting before she could even try to sell it, but the second did send it out to publishing houses. But before he did that we edited it together, and one of the things I suggested was that Rei be wearing silicon prosthetics in this scene, instead of the mask. That when he looked up at Teru, at a glance his face would look PERFECT… but it wouldn’t quite be. Facial prosthetics look amazing in photos but they don’t MOVE, and they wouldn’t be an option for eyelids or lips, anything that pretty much moves all the time as a matter of course. So Teru would think, at a glance, that Rei had somehow “fixed” his face, but would realize very quickly that it was essentially a mask of another kind… and say something like, “You’re beautiful.”💕

My literary agent advised against that because he thought it was like… an easy fix, and wanted Rei to stay disfigured… but he WOULD have stayed disfigured. Silicon prosthetics are a real option that actually exists in the real world, unlike god-level plastic surgery… I know people who use them. I know they’re not perfect. And I really wish I’d kept that in. If I ever do write a sequel, I’m definitely going that route.

ANYWAY. Rei is kind of cold here at first… he keeps playing as Teru sings, but when Teru tries to talk to him he initially says “Don’t spoil it”… that seems kind of harsh, but I really think he just feels like music is still the way they connect on the purest level… and he doesn’t really want to have to talk about what he did four years ago.

They play “Sweet Goodbye,” which they’ve never actually performed together before, and then a fan requests “Yami no hanabira,” saying that their indie stuff was so epic…. But also really meaning that something has been missing without Rei.

Teru is probably being too generous when he says that what Rei did was both the cruelest and the kindest thing anyone has ever done to him. It was fucking awful. But I think he also realizes that, in Rei logic, it was a great act of kindness.

My very favorite line in the entire book is here: “What’s the point of writing anything if it isn’t, at least in some sense, true?”

I came back to this over and over and over again trying to edit, trying to sell, and eventually trying to self-publish this thing. It’s fiction, yes. But it’s also TRUE, like all the best stories are.

Teru mentions here that they sold out the Budokan, which is a real, famous venue in downtown Tokyo. It’s not the biggest possible venue to sell out (selling out Tokyo Dome, for example, is a much bigger numerical accomplishment) but the Budokan’s cultural history makes it a place that a lot of musicians aspire to. And Rei says, of course: “I know. I was there.” Because of COURSE he’s been following Teru’s career as a fan, from the shadows.

And then Teru suggests that they go get lunch, or dinner, or coffee or whatever, and offers to drive them in his car… now, I think it’s pretty clear that Rei’s wheelchair is not going to fit in Teru’s tiny little car… I think what ACTUALLY happens after this scene is that they go for coffee or something somewhere in walking distance, and once they start talking there’s just SO much to say that they go home together on the train, and Teru comes back the next day and eats the incredibly ridiculous parking costs. (I think Sunshine City is something like 20-30 dollars an hour if you don’t buy anything… but I DEFINITELY don’t drive in the middle of Tokyo so I’m not 100% sure. Expensive but worth it in this case, anyway.)

#the stars may rise and fall #annotated #phantom retelling #writing process #Book of my heart #13 years of blood sweat and years y’all

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owlsandwich · 1 year ago

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This was the first chapter I ever wrote (though the version below has been re-written a good few times since my initial scribbled notes) and I still have a soft spot for it <3

The last drops of the recent downpour spattered across the steaming pavement, but the humidity left Matthew as damp underneath his jacket as he was outside of it. Food smells wafted from the undercover market to his right, mixing with the earthy scent left from the rain.

He was early. The trains had run well for once and, given that he had allowed extra time for the journey, it was a good half hour before he was due to meet Oliver. At least it would give him time to settle down at the rendezvous and dry off.

A shout from an overzealous market seller boomed over the roar of cars and chattering shoppers, and he jolted in alarm. Being in the capital always put him on edge.

Sweeping a lock of soaked, black hair from his eyes, Matthew looked around for the name of the road. A drip of water snuck under the collar of his jacket, running a chill line down his back as he saw the sign carved into the stonework above. Practically a historic artefact itself nowadays. The familiar stab of sorrow followed as he noted the faded royal coat of arms inscribed next to the street name. It was a wonder Morgan Heliodor hadn’t had them all destroyed.

The well maintained words, at least, told him he was in the right place.

A few shops down, the tea room looked bright and inviting against the overcast afternoon sky. Matthew pushed the door open and bundled himself inside. It was occupied, but mercifully not busy. A couple of people in business dress were dotted around the single tables, and a group of women with prams had taken over a corner, too distracted by a fidgety baby to notice his entrance.

He headed towards one of the rear corner tables, ducking under the low beams, as he passed. A man was already sat there, his well-cut suit jacket open over an emerald green waistcoat. Sandy brown hair fell towards golden eyes that lit up with a smile as they met Matthew’s.

“You’re early.” Oliver rested his half empty teacup back on its saucer, the movement showing a flash of gold cufflink.

“Not early enough apparently.” Matthew shook his head in mock disbelief, then dragged a chair around the table so its back was against the wall. His wet jacket began to trickle a puddle onto the floor as he peeled it off, and Oliver frowned.

“Dare I ask why you didn’t use a shield?”

“Didn’t seem like anyone else was doing it. I don’t want to draw attention.”

“Well, I’m not sure that looking like a drowned rat is more subtle.”

Matthew laughed and sat down, sodden jeans still dripping. Then, drawing on a small amount of his magic, he heated the water in his clothes and hair until it puffed away in a light cloud of steam. “Better?” It definitely felt better. “How long have you been here, anyway? I thought I might have beaten you for once.”

“Not long,” Oliver replied, taking another sip of his tea. “I decided I may as well take a half day; I could certainly use one.” He gave a heavy sigh and Matthew noticed dark circles beneath his eyes that even the youthful appearance gifted to those with high magic ability couldn’t hide.

“What, did Morgan change the tax code or something?” Even in jest, the name burned as he said it. He continued in a gentler tone, “you look knackered.”

“Thanks,” Oliver replied. Then with a dismissive shake of his head he seemed to appear brighter. “It’s nothing to worry about. Just unusually busy for this time of year. Actually, that’s probably not a bad thing...” He trailed off, a sombre silence falling over them both.

The sound of Oliver tapping the table snapped Matthew out of his reflection. “Before I forget! This is for Alex.” He pulled out a brown paper bag containing a wrapped parcel. “Please tell him how sorry I am that I can’t deliver it in person. I don’t suppose he’s heard back from the university yet?” Oliver passed the bag over to Matthew, who tucked it away by his seat.

“I imagine he will tell me when I’m down.” He gave Oliver a sideways glance. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you did.”

“I just offered him a place to stay for the interview. How was I to know he hadn’t involved you?” Oliver’s reply was cool, but Matthew could see a tinge of pink around his ears.

“Oh come on. When do you not know what’s going on in my life?” Matthew ran a frustrated hand through his hair, but there was no anger in his comment. “I thought I was supposed to be your boss.”

“In that case, I thought you were supposed to listen to my advice. He doesn’t understand, and I don’t blame him. Alex thinks that he isn’t good enough.”

“Not good enough?” Matthew paused in confusion. “How? You’ve seen the things he’s made, the spells he’s done. He’s better than I was at his age.”

“I have seen them,” Oliver nodded from behind his cup. “And that’s why he can’t understand why his own father wants him to stay wasting away in Couden Cross.”

“He said that?” Matthew’s gaze fell to the wooden table, and he found himself tracing the scuff marks with his finger. “That’s not what I want. It’s just more important that he’s safe. He can be successful and still have a quiet life.”

“He’d be safer if you told him the truth.”

The clink of the empty teacup snapped Matthew’s eyes back up. “I’m not telling him. Not until he’s older. We’ve been through this.” There was an ache in his jaw as he clenched it.

“He’s going to be eighteen. He’s older than you were when it happened.”

“Yeah, and he deserves more time than we got.”

Matthew sat up straighter, anticipating a counter argument until he noticed that Oliver’s attention had been caught by the tea shop entrance. Concerned, he glanced over in the same direction and saw that the group of women were leaving, struggling to squeeze one of the prams out past the heavy door.

With a small exertion of his magic, Matthew nudged the door wide. The women departed, presumably unaware of his interference, though the flare of energy obviously hadn’t been missed by Oliver, who turned to face him, wide eyed.

“Everything okay?” Matthew kept his voice low.

“Fine.” The shock on his face faded instantly to a blank expression, but Oliver’s eyes didn’t seem to focus.

He’s talking to Ewen. Matthew sank back in the chair and waited.

For the most part, he found it easy to forget about the other soul that had occupied his friend’s mind for the past twenty-three years. The voice of Oliver’s predecessor had, of course, been a great asset, but Matthew couldn’t help but feel unsettled when he remembered that two people often looked out at him through one pair of eyes. It must be worse for Oliver, and Matthew thanked whatever luck he had left that whoever had crafted the Champion spell hadn’t seen fit to confer the same powers upon the royal line.

“Sorry about that.” With a blink, Oliver’s attention was back in the room. “Would you like a drink? I should have asked when you first arrived.”

Matthew didn’t reply, folding his arms sceptically.

“Ewen was advising on tea,” Oliver explained. He looked relaxed enough, but Matthew knew better than to trust his outwards appearance. “This place was actually his recommendation. Would you like me to choose you one to try, or will you have your usual?”

The question was half-hearted, but Matthew decided to let it go. Perhaps he’d misread the concern on his friend’s face. “Maybe next time. Just grab me a can of something.” Unlike Oliver, no amount of education or pressure had ever given him a taste for warm drinks.

Oliver groaned and got up from his seat. “Fair enough. Though you don’t know what you’re missing.” He left the table mumbling something that sounded like ‘sacrilege’.

Left alone to his own thoughts, Matthew let his eyes wander over the room. It was an old building, even by Aedemeer standards, and he wondered how much it had seen over the years. Ewen had been his father’s tactician, to use the common term for it, and it was odd to think of the man sitting in this very room. Perhaps he had been prompted by his own mentor, and so on, going back generations.

His musings were interrupted by the return of Oliver, who placed a can in front of him, along with an empty glass, before retaking his seat.

“I’m not saying it has anything to do with us,” he began, arranging a teapot and fresh cup in front of him. “However, I have been observing one of the tea shop patrons— Don’t look!” He commanded with a sigh.

“I wasn’t going to look!”. But his heart rate had increased. Matthew tried to focus on the chilled can in his hands rather than the other people in the room.

“Their behaviour has raised suspicion,” continued Oliver. “Now, I need you to tell me if the large, fair haired gentleman, seated at the table to the left of the door, looks familiar to you.”

Matthew’s fingers seemed clumsy as he cracked his drink open, looking far less casual than he had intended. Ignoring the glass, he took a sip and glanced over towards the table that Oliver had indicated. From here, he had a clear view of the man hunched there, face partially obscured by the newspaper he appeared to be reading. He was tall and broad, wearing a hefty black jacket still damp from the rain. Matthew didn’t recognise him.

“No, I don’t know them,” he said, leaning in towards Oliver so that they could keep their voices low. “What’s he done that’s worried you?”

“He came in earlier, when the women left.” Oliver responded, “He’s passed the front of the shop three times since you arrived, along with another man, but entered alone.”

“That’s not hugely suspicious,” Matthew said, though he didn’t relax.

“I agree,” Oliver replied, “However he hasn’t ordered a drink, nor removed his coat, and I have watched him continue to take glances in this direction from the moment of his arrival, despite the fact he’s attempting to appear engrossed in a newspaper.”

Matthew made a noise of agreement. He didn’t want to be paranoid, but experience told him Oliver wouldn’t have mentioned anything unless he had a genuine concern. As if sensing Matthew’s thoughts, Oliver continued.

“I wouldn’t have wanted to worry you, but as I went up to order, I saw his associate pass by again. He also seemed very focussed in your direction; my thoughts being that an innocent bystander would be more interested in his friend than another customer.”

“Ewen agreed?” Matthew waited for Oliver to nod confirmation before he continued, panic rising. “How could they have found us?” It had been so long he’d half thought Morgan Heliodor had stopped looking, but now—

“It’s not Morgan,” Oliver interrupted, halting his racing thoughts. “These men— they aren’t subtle. I was hardly paying attention and I spotted them.” He spoke with a quiet confidence as he began to pour some tea into his cup. “Besides, they just don’t give off that professional vibe.”

“When are you ever ‘hardly paying attention’…” Matthew muttered, but his heartbeat no longer sounded as loud. “If they aren’t Morgan’s, then who are they?”

“I was hoping you might know.” Oliver narrowed his eyes. “What have you been doing recently?”

Matthew shifted in his seat, rolling the can between his hands so that the soft metal bent under his fingers. “Nothing notable, just work.” He looked away, unable to meet Oliver’s fixed stare. Even with only two years between them, the Tactician could make him feel like a child. “...There’s one thing I can think of, but that was over two weeks ago.”

“What thing?” Oliver’s tone had turned icy, and Matthew had the uncomfortable feeling that it wasn’t only his friend judging him.

“It was nothing. Really!” Matthew ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I took it on as a quick side job. Something interesting for a change. You know, last week they had me charging lights? Just that. Every day for a week. Because it’s still cheaper than getting electricity that far out from the city.”

“I don’t need to know why you did it, just tell me what you did.”

“It was just a lock. Off the books. Nothing special.” Matthew shrugged. “Honestly, I didn’t even think anything of it until now. Some guy moving here from Vailberg wanted to make sure no one could get into one of his rooms. I whacked on a lock and that was it!”

“You’re working for Velbians now?” Oliver seemed surprised, but didn’t press further. “What was in the room?”

“It was empty, I don’t know. I don’t ask questions. It’s not as though I’d accept anything dodgy.”

“Evidently, that’s not the case,” Oliver murmured, sipping at his drink. “Do you at least remember their name?”

Matthew frowned as he tried to remember. “…Marek? Felix Marek, I think his name was.”

Oliver choked on his tea. “Felix Marek?” He wheezed.

“What?” The reaction brought back his anxiety from earlier, and Matthew glanced over at the man near the door. To his relief, he was still engrossed in his newspaper.

“You do know he was Aiden Heliodor’s business partner?” Oliver’s voice had recovered from the tea, but clearly not from the shock. “He just sold off his share and retired. Don’t you watch the news?”

“…No,” Matthew replied. “I try not to.” Especially at this time of year. He wasn’t pleased to see Oliver’s expression morph into one of pity. “Don’t look at me like that.”

Aiden Heliodor was Morgan Heliodor’s nephew, son of the Arch Canlaw, Kaylee of Vailberg. Matthew felt like a lead weight had settled into his stomach.

For a moment, Oliver didn’t say anything more. He drummed his fingers lightly against the wood of the table and Matthew focussed on the movement, the world seeming to have narrowed down to a point.

“I still don’t believe they know who you really are.” Oliver continued eventually. “You say he wanted this lock unregistered? That makes me wonder if it’s not thieves he’s worried about.”

“You’re thinking he’s hiding something from Aiden? Or Morgan?”

“Could easily be both. Though I doubt it matters either way. My best theory is that this is a silencing operation and they don’t know who they’re dealing with.”

Fear subsiding, Matthew found it replaced by frustration. Couldn’t he even have a simple drink without something happening? It was worse that he’d worried Oliver. “I guess we’d better come up with a plan then.”

“We have a plan.”

Of course we do. Matthew waited for his Tactician to elaborate.

“There’s a back entrance to the tea room, along a short corridor past the bathroom. It opens out into the alleyway that runs between this building and the wall of the market. You likely walked past it on your way here.”

The market would be a good place to lose a pursuer in the crowd. “What if they have people waiting in the alley? You said there could be more than one person following us.”

“You’re right. It is likely the back door is being watched, but I don’t intend for us to fight our way out.” Oliver ran a finger in a line across the table. “If this is the alleyway, and here is where the exit comes out,” he pointed towards the centre of the line. “Slightly to the left, in the wall opposite, you will find an entrance to the market. It was boarded up for years, but when I found it I decided it could be useful to incorporate it, and this tea room, into one of our meeting spots.”

“You magic locked it?” Matthew wasn’t surprised that there had been more to this place than just the pleasant atmosphere and fancy tea.

“Yes, to my signature. It’s not ideal but, if we aim to get through quickly, they won’t be able to follow. By the time they get round to the main market entrance, we should be out and on our way to the safe house at Wych Cross.”

“Fair enough,” Matthew leaned back in his seat, attempting to stretch some looseness back into his limbs. “So if I get up first, as if I am going to the toilet, then you follow sometime after and we meet up at the exit?”

Oliver’s rejected his suggestion without a pause. “No need. We’ll go together.”

“Won’t that seem suspicious?”

“Only to someone following us,” Oliver replied, matter-of-factly. “And if they are, they aren’t going to be far behind. We’ll save time and be safer together.”

Not convinced that Oliver just didn’t want to let him out of his sight, Matthew didn’t bother to argue.

“Ready then?” Oliver set aside his empty tea cup, and Matthew felt the slight tingle in the air as Oliver’s shields went up. Taking the cue, Matthew drew on his own magic, projecting a shield close around his body. He reached back to grab his coat, tucking it over the bag containing Alex’s present before using the handle to pick up both.

“Nothing strange about two friends going to the bathroom together...” Matthew mumbled as he stood up to follow Oliver to the door.

It was quiet in the small corridor. Matthew squeezed past Oliver, who placed his hand over the door handle as he cast a basic lock spell.

“Apologies to anyone who needs the toilet,” he said, tilting his head to indicate they should proceed along the hall. At the far end was the door that led out to the alleyway, the sign and panic bar displaying its purpose as a fire exit.

“Do you think it will be alarmed?” Matthew queried. Touching his hand to the door, he scanned it for magic energy and picked up nothing. Any lock or alarm would be manual.

“No, I checked that before we arrived.”

Accepting Oliver’s confirmation, Matthew cast his magic sense out beyond the door. Physical barriers made it harder to pick up the radiating energy of spells or mages, but if anyone was directly outside, he should be strong enough to feel them.

“Anyone out there?” Oliver said, who was no doubt checking himself.

Matthew closed his eyes to focus. There was a strange presence towards their left. A mage, maybe. Or some kind of passive spell? “There could be something to the left, I can’t tell for certain.”

“You can’t tell?” Oliver hummed as he paused to think. “Well, we’ll have to deal with it as it comes,” he continued after a moment. “It’s likely our tearoom friend has sent a message, so let’s assume they are expecting us.”

Matthew moved aside as Oliver grasped the bar of the fire door, then with a nod he pushed down on the handle and darted into the alley. With a tight grip on the bag in his hand, Matthew followed.

The cobbled path was slippery from the afternoon rain. Magic focused into his shield, Matthew kept his eyes on Oliver rather than looking for the door himself. Now they were outside, the confusing magic presence was far more obvious, almost nauseating, unlike any spell he’d ever felt.

They hadn’t made it more than two paces before he heard a shout, followed by a fizzing crack that Matthew felt more than heard. A wave of energy collided with his shield, sending him reeling off balance. He landed clumsily on his knees, pain shooting through his hand as it slammed into the ground. The shield, which should have repelled any attack, warped as it absorbed the energy, and shattered.

Senses returning, Matthew heard Oliver shouting from somewhere above his head. The scene in the alley rushed back into focus and his eyes met those of the man who had attacked him. Smaller and younger than the one who had been watching them in the tea room, he stood frozen, a look of surprise on his face.

Whatever the man held in his hand was still pointed at Matthew, and he scrambled back to his feet. As he did so, his assailant seemed to snap from his daze. He charged forward, blocking their passage to the market door, but a blast of magic from Oliver blew him back. Then Matthew felt his friend grab his arm, dragging him, bag, coat and all, along the alley towards the street.

“I thought we were going to the market!” Matthew called, hurrying to keep pace with Oliver while trying not to slip on the rain slick stone.

“Change of plan!”

Oliver pulled him around the corner as they reached the main road. When he looked back, the man from the alley had been joined by the one from the shop.

“Don’t attack. Too many people.” Oliver instructed through panting breaths. Another flare of magic, and this time the pavement behind them sparkled as Oliver’s spell drained the heat from the water pooled there. The two of them pushed through the crowd, inciting gasps, swiftly followed by the cries of multiple shoppers slipping on the ice spelled ground.

“What the hell did they attack us with?” Matthew shouted as he ran.

“I don’t know,” Oliver replied. “But if it could knock you down, then it’s too risky to take chances.”

“We need to find somewhere open.”

“Park. Across the road ahead. If we can’t lose them first.”

As if in response, the air fizzed with another bolt of energy. This time, it was followed by screams and a sickening crunch of metal.

Matthew spun on the spot, no longer running. A bus was horizontal across the busy road, the front crushed inwards above the left wheel, leaving it sagging drunkenly. Another car had crashed into it, causing both rows of traffic to come to a standstill.

From here it was impossible to tell whether the passengers were okay. Matthew had begun to force his way back against the flow of terrified people now rushing in their direction, before Oliver caught his arm.

“Look,” Oliver pointed. Following his gaze, Matthew saw the crowds had parted around the damaged bus. The man from the tea shop stood there, gesturing angrily at his companion as he grabbed at whatever the smaller man was holding. “Looks to me like they weren’t supposed to be creating a scene either.”

Sirens began to howl in the distance, their sound causing Matthew’s heart to leap in his chest. Even so, he didn’t move.

“Healers are on their way,” Oliver spoke gently. “Let’s get out while we can.”

“…Okay.” Swallowing his guilt, Matthew followed Oliver as they allowed the crowd to sweep them away.

#my writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #fantasy books #fantasy writing

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ninjagirlstar5 · 1 year ago

Text

Protag Teruya AU - Mikado Sannoji FTE (Part 3)

Word count is 5,482!

AO3 Version

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Disclaimer: While Sannotori is problematic, it’s a thing in this AU/fic and the dynamic is not the same as it is in canon.

The Protag Teruya AU was inspired by @/anotherprofessional’s post! Beware of Void spoilers though!

Fic is under read more!

Teruya cracks his neck with a sigh, fatigue starting to settle into his body. Today had been a long day so far and it was tempting to spend the rest of the afternoon in his bed. However, he knew he couldn’t do that as he had already made plans and it’d be rude not to show up at this point. He’d be effectively canceling at the last minute.

He didn’t want to do that to Mikado.

So Teruya grabs a hold of the double doors to the library and pushes it open. The moment he steps in, he immediately sees Mikado waving at him from his seat at the round table. He seems pleased to see him.

“Otori-san! You came!” Mikado said, sounding much more cheerful than earlier. Teruya couldn’t help but smile. It seems like Mikado was changing his attitude around him. Or, at the very least, he wasn’t avoiding him anymore. “Come, take a seat. I think I’ve come up with a plan.”

“Oh yeah?” Teruya closes the door behind him. He takes a stool and scoots it closer to Mikado’s side of the table. “What do you have?”

“Well, the first thing I did was create a timetable for us. Take a look.” Mikado pulls out a notebook, the one Teruya gave to him, from his cape and shows it to him. It was turned into a timetable sort of calendar that is cut up into seven boxes for each day of the week with a dotted line representing what hour of the day each activity takes place. To Teruya’s surprise, though, there were only three sticky notes on the page, one for the morning meet-ups during breakfast, one for the evening meet-ups during dinner, and one for the study block. When he looks at Mikado with confusion, his mask smiles at him. “We’ve already set those meetings in stone at this point, and I have no good reason for us to simply ignore them. Being aware of how everyone is doing and what progress they made during their investigations is great. As for the study block…we will be figuring out what time works for you. Especially since you can’t spend all day studying in a situation like this.”

“Ah…makes sense. I don’t think I could spend so many hours studying anyways. I’d get bored eventually, that’s for sure.” Teruya said, checking the rest of the pages. They all had the same layout as the first timetable. “How did you get these so…perfect?”

“Magic.” Was Mikado’s automatic answer. He probably should’ve expected it was something like that. “As I was saying, since we’re in a killing game, it wouldn’t be smart to study all the time. We have to keep our guard up in case anything is a foul. And we should leave room for investigation or socializing, as you seem to enjoy spending time with the other students.” Teruya nods in agreement. While his investigations have grind to a halt due to a lack of progress, creating bonds with his classmates was vital if he wanted to keep the group together. So leaving some blanks in the plans would be best, as they can be used for breaks or if they needed some flexibility in case something were to change. “I plan to spend one day teaching you an investigative skill and then another one the next. We’ll rotate between skills as we progress.”

“Wait, back up. You plan to spend one day on one skill?” Teruya asked, staring at Mikado agape. “Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, stretch it to a week at least? I don’t think it’ll help if we try to cram it all into my head.”

“I don’t think that’s feasible for us, considering the situation.” Mikado explains, scratching the back of his head. “With the killing game looming over us all, there’s no telling when another class trial may happen. Or if something were to happen to us again.”

Teruya frowned.

He understood what Mikado was saying. Really.

He just…didn’t want to believe it.

He didn’t want it to happen again.

Something was nagging at the back of his head again. But it slips away before he could catch it, disappearing into the depths of his mind once more.

Teruya sighs.

“You’re right. I know you’re right.” He stares down at the timetable, his hands forming into tightly clenched fists. “I just…I won’t let that happen. As long as we’re together, nothing will happen.”

“...I’m sorry. It seems I’ve upset you.” Mikado said, putting his fingers near his mouth as his mask almost cried in exaggeration. Teruya immediately loosens up.

“No, no. It’s not your fault.” Teruya reassures, tapping his finger against the paper. “You’re going out of your way to help me and I appreciate it. I just don’t want another class trial to happen because…because that would be the real deal. The other one was with a fake body but…if this happens again, it means that someone in our group committed murder. It would mean that our classmate would die.”

And that would mean he had failed his group. It would mean he would lose a friend.

Teruya can’t let that happen.

Teruya refused to let that happen.

“I understand.” Mikado said, his words keeping him from getting lost in his thoughts again. His mask had gone back to normal with its wide grin. “I know it’ll seem like a lot, especially in one day. But since the killing game is threatening all of our lives, we’ll have to juggle all these lessons if we want you to improve overall. Especially when…or rather, if a class trial happens.” He then gestures to the timetable. “For now, I’ll need you to answer a few questions so we can finalize what may be the best way to help you learn and study.”

“Alright…” Teruya adjusts his sitting position. “Hit me.”

“Answer these three questions for me to the best of your ability.” Mikado starts, pulling out his handbook to take notes. Looks like he’s still sticking to the handbook. Oh well, they were kinda using the notebook for the timetable anyways. “Can you focus for long periods of time? What time of the day are you most productive? Do you need to take a break before returning to studying?” Teruya takes a moment to consider his answers.

“…I think it depends on what kind of subject it is. Math, I could probably do all day unless it’s geometry. But when I was trying to help you take notes with the whole brain biology thing, I barely lasted an hour through that. As for what time of day I’m most productive…” He pauses before shrugging. “Probably around noon? I’m a morning person but I don’t think a lot sinks into my head unless I’m really paying attention. And by the afternoon, I start to get a little tired. Not to the point that I can’t work but I start to feel…less productive, I guess? And I feel a lot more refreshed whenever I take a break.”

“I see.” Mikado types it all out. After a minute or two of typing, he turns his handbook around to show him what he’s outlined. “How does this look?”

[Lessons w/ Mikado]

12:30PM to 1:30PM

Fifteen minute break will be provided after twenty minutes of starting.

Teruya smiles.

“I like it! I think this could work.” Teruya said, pushing the handbook back to Mikado. The wizard seemed pleased, if the growing smile on his mask was any indication.

“Good. Oh, and if you ever want to move the studying to morning or the afternoon, let me know on the e-handbook+.” Mikado then taps away on his e-handbook+. “Since this is mostly your schedule, you should have the flexibility to decide what you want to do for each day of the week. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can skip out on these lessons. I won’t allow it.”

“I-I wouldn’t do that!” Teruya said, waving his hand to appease the wizard. Mikado huffs, crossing his arms. “I know just as well as you that I can’t slack off. Not with the way I floundered during that fake class trial.” He averts his gaze, barely catching Mikado’s relaxing shoulders out of the corner of his eyes.

“Well, we’ve developed a schedule and one that you can realistically achieve. So let’s review our goals for these lessons.” Mikado then shows his handbook to Teruya again. It was a brief explanation of their main goal and why they were doing this. “The goal of these studies is to improve your investigation skills. That way you will be more productive in case another class trial were to commence. Breaking it down, we will focus on one skill one day and then move onto another. If you need more time to improve on one of the skills and or we’ve gone through all the lessons once, we will simply cycle back to them. Is this making sense so far?”

“Yeah, I think it makes sense.” Teruya said, even if he felt a little apprehensive at the thought of them trying to speedrun through these lessons. But like Mikado said, the killing game wouldn’t wait for him until he’s ready. There’s no telling what will happen in the next few days, so he must improve as much as he can while he can.

“Good. I’m thinking of either giving you an assignment after each lesson to review how well you’re understanding it or having you study the lesson on your own time. I suggest an hour before bed as you’re more likely to retain information that way.” Mikado said, slowly tapping his fingers on top of his tablet. “I know you’re not a fan of studying. But it’s better if you form a habit of it so you'll be more obligated to do it as part of your routine.”

“A-Alright…” Teruya can feel his enthusiasm slipping. Mikado rolls his eyes – well, his real eye. His mask stayed the same.

“Relax. Even if this study plan isn’t working for you, we can always change or adjust it to your needs.” Mikado reassured, his voice calm but casual. He then lays his handbook down on the table. “Now that we have a study plan in mind, let us gauge what you already know so we can see what you need improvement on the most.”

“Oh, okay.” Teruya straightens his posture, trying to really focus now that they are getting into the actual lessons.

“What do you think is the most important aspect of investigators?” Mikado asked, immediately sending Teruya for a loop. It should be an easy question to answer but he was hesitant to say anything wrong. Teruya rubs his head to help him think.

“Uh…Intelligence?”

“Too broad.” Mikado’s answer was instant. He taps something on his handbook and Teruya shifts in his seat uncomfortably. “Be more specific.”

“Ummm…” He was drawing a blank even though he knew what an investigator was and what they do. “They, uh…solve cases…”

“How?” Mikado tilts his head at him. Teruya grit his teeth. Don’t panic. An investigator investigates the case to find evidence and to solve it. And Mikado is asking him how.

“...They…They solve problems. So…they…They have to think…critically. And be able to do problem-solving.” Teruya said, watching as the wizard nodded his head. He pauses, trying to think of anything else that could be related to an investigator. When he keeps drawing up a blank, Mikado speaks.

“It’s okay if you don’t know everything about investigating.” Mikado’s voice was gentle and reassuring. He folds his hands together. “The point of this is to see what you need to learn. Not to stress out over things you don’t know.” Teruya just groans and lays his head against the table.

“I know. I just…” He folds his hands over his head. “I feel like I should know this. That I’ve done this plenty of times before and yet…I can’t. No matter how hard I try, I can’t. I…” He swallows. “Why can’t I do something as simple as this?”

It was silent between the two of them for a moment.

And then he felt another hand on top of his head.

Teruya looks up just enough to see Mikado petting his head. Soft and gentle, like he was trying to comfort him. Even his mask’s smile was smaller and tender.

“Yes, you can. You simply don’t have the confidence to back yourself up, Otori-san.” Mikado said, brushing his hair away from his face. “It’s okay if you need help. Even in a killing game like this, we can’t do everything on our own. Which means we must rely on others if we wish to get through this together. And investigators have talked with their co-workers to bounce ideas off of each other for cases. The class trial is a debate, after all.”

“Talking with co-workers, huh…” Teruya crosses his arms in front of his face and looks away. Mikado takes his hand off of his head. “...That woman, Rei Mekaru…She knew me. I don’t know what kind of relationship we had, but I…I think I looked up to her. Even when I was horrified and angry at her, a part of me felt happy to see her. Do you…think we worked together? Even though I’m just a high school student?”

“...This is supposed to be a Hope’s Peak school trip…if you ignored the killing part.” Mikado says, shrugging his shoulders. “You have to be the best of the best while being in high school. So it’s not uncommon for adults to work with Ultimates. However, we don’t know your talent as of right now, so it’s hard to say how you and Ms. Mekaru are related to each other.” He pauses and then looks down at his handbook. “Regardless, it’s apparent that she cared deeply for you.”

“Yeah…” Teruya didn’t know what else to say. He knew Rei Mekaru was a part of this…“Kisaragi Foundation” and is the Former Ultimate Professor according to the ID that was left behind. But that was all that he knew about her due to his amnesia. And he was left with nothing but vague feelings of care and grief after her death. “She seemed smart. I wonder if I can be a bit more like her.”

“While having an ideal to strive for is good, comparing yourself to others can drag down your self-esteem.” Mikado said, almost automatically with the lack of tone in his voice. He’s tapping away on his handbook again. “I suggest that you remind yourself of your good qualities every time you do that. After all, there may have been some things that Ms. Mekaru couldn’t do that you could do very well. And your improvement in investigation is the goal of these lessons. So don’t beat yourself up if you can’t answer correctly or are struggling to come up with one. Failure is a part of learning and it’ll be more rewarding when you succeed.”

“...I hope you’re right. About my good qualities, I mean. It’s hard to think of any when I feel like such a blank slate.” Teruya lifts his head off of the table. “And I don’t think math can be very useful.”

“Money.” Mikado deadpanned. “A.k.a. finance. Science, engineering, computer science…”

“Okay, okay.” Teruya chuckles, straightening his posture. The jab made him feel a little lighter and Mikado’s mask smiled. “You’ve made your point. I guess I just meant that math wouldn’t always relate to investigating, that’s all.”

“It could. It will depend on the case, but don’t rule out one of your skills just yet.” Mikado said, staring down at his handbook again. “Besides, going back to your answer, you did get at least two out of twelve skills right.”

“Two out of twelve?!” Teruya leans over to look at the tablet. “What were the other ones?”

“Here, let me list it out for you.” Mikado allows him a glimpse. “Curiosity, problem-solving, research skills, evidence collection, interviewing, report writing, critical thinking, honesty, flexibility, observation, courage and self-motivation. These are the skills that are common and useful for investigators, and you understand that critical thinking and problem-solving were part of it. Which makes sense if you think about it. Investigators pick up a case, think about the evidence and try to solve it. It seems quite simple by definition alone. ”

“...Not gonna lie, looking at this list makes it feel obvious.” Teruya said, feeling another jab of shame in his gut. Mikado seems to have sensed that and puts his hand on his shoulder. He sits back down at his seat. “...I’m not sure where to start.”

“Well, if you ask me, I think the ones you don’t need to work on too much are the following aspects.” Mikado taps on a pencil icon and circles the ones he thinks he does well. Honesty, courage and self-motivation. Teruya opens his mouth to speak but the wizard stops him with a raise of his hand. “Even if you don’t believe you have these traits, your actions speak louder than words. When you were scared for everyone and yourself, you still stepped up to check on me while I was down. You even protected Mr. Maeda against Mr. Hashimoto, and won. You’ve been putting all of your efforts into investigating the killing game and talking with everyone to figure out how to escape, or at least contact help. And while you haven’t made much headway, you still look into other ways to improve yourself. Like what we’re doing now.” The wizard runs his hand over the tablet. “...And like I said before, you’re sincere. That kind of honesty will allow you to bond with others easily and you’ve been trying to be fair in your leadership so far in the killing game. You may be lacking in some skills, but you are good at others.”

“I…see.” Teruya looked down at the table. He takes a deep breath and relaxes. “Yeah, okay. I think…I can agree with that.” He then yawns and stretches.

“...Perhaps it’s time we take a break.” Mikado puts his handbook away. “We may have not made much progress today, but understanding where to start is more important than diving right into things.”

“Do you think we can do something else, then?” Teruya asked. Mikado tilts his head at him, seemingly surprised at his suggestion. “The lessons are important and all. But I also want to have some fun with you too.”

“Oh…” He stares down at the table. Mikado rubs his hands together awkwardly before reaching into his cape. He pulls out a jigsaw puzzle box, with the image of a forest at night with a starry sky above on the front. “Then, why don’t we play this? It’ll help improve your mental speed and short-term memory.”

“Productive and fun.” Teruya agrees and Mikado opens the box and pours out the contents.

Neither of them bothered to bring up the idea of a timer. Teruya knew he didn’t want one because he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Mikado. He didn’t know Mikado’s reason, but he had a feeling that he also wanted to hang out just a little longer. It made Teruya happy, knowing that the wizard wasn’t putting any effort in avoiding him again. They were simply spending as much time as they could putting the jigsaw puzzle together. While the picture itself wasn’t big, about a little less than medium size, it was still split up into tiny pieces. Hence why it was taking a long time to complete, despite there being two people.

“Hey…Mikado?” Teruya speaks up, breaking the silence between them. Mikado looks up from the puzzle piece he was staring at before tossing it into a pile that had the same color as it. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Hm…” Mikado finds two pieces of the puzzle and connects them together. “Depends on the question.”

“Okay…How about…What made you become the Ultimate Wizard?” Teruya asked. It was always a question he wanted an answer to. He’s pretty sure even before he had amnesia, he never saw magic before. Not like a stage magician that tricks the viewer's eyes to believe what they want to believe. But real, actual magic. But because he never heard of a magic user, it made him curious as to how Mikado became a wizard in the first place.

"Hm…" Mikado stares at the puzzle before them before setting the attached pieces next to another pile of the same state. “Why do you want to know?”

“Uh…because I want to get to know you?” Teruya said, scratching his cheek as he tested out a puzzle piece spot. It clicks perfectly into place and he searches for a new one. “You’ve been helping me a lot, and yet, you’ve been kind of…elusive. About your past, your talent…Even the way you interact with everyone has this sort of…distance.” He pauses. “...I’m not telling you to tell me everything. I just want to get to know you better.”

“...I see.” Mikado said, drumming his fingers on the table. He then shrugs. “I suppose I can tell you more about my talent. It’s only natural, since I am a Hope’s Peak student.” He puts his chin on top of his hand, making a puzzle piece float over to him lazily. “A lot of Ultimate students get their talent one way or another. Some had a mentor, some were simply gifted, some were simply obsessed with this one thing in their life, and some…were forced into their Ultimates.” The wizard holds the puzzle between his fingers, staring at it quietly. “Mine was…something of the latter.”

“O-Oh…really?” Teruya felt a little bit of awkwardness settle into his stomach. He did ask, but…he definitely didn’t expect that to be dropped on him. Mikado tilted his head at him and he was quick to clear his throat. “What…What happened?”

“Well, to clarify, no one forced me to become a wizard. It’s more like…the situation I was in was a bit…dire.” Mikado lifts his head off of his hand. “I did not…have anyone to rely on. I was all on my own, with nothing but the clothes on my back and the occasional generosity people tossed my way. It was a miracle that I had survived on my own for as long as I did without my magic. But alas, I did eventually have a string of bad luck. My stuff got stolen, I struggled to find shelter from the cold, and to top it all off, I got caught stealing and got beat up for it.”

“That…That’s horrible.” Teruya didn’t know what else to say. He never thought Mikado was homeless and lived out on the streets. With his polite manners and clean appearance, he didn’t come off as someone that slept in an alleyway. Even when he was constantly on guard, Teruya had brushed it off as a normal reaction to a killing game. But if this was something he’d been dealing with for awhile…

“Yes, it was…And I was quite certain that I was on my last legs when I had collapsed right outside a building. But…that was when I found it.” Mikado lifts up the puzzle piece to his eye. “I found a book. A book that I didn’t quite understand, not at first.”

“A book? Was…that how you got your magic?” Teruya asked, tilting his head. The mask grins as the wizard nods.

“Actually, yes. Even when I barely understood what I was doing, I knew one of the pages was about a fire. Desperate for some warmth, I followed the directions of the spell to the best of my ability and drew the spell in the snow. Before I knew it, a fire had appeared and I was able to stave off another cold day.” Mikado then slots the puzzle piece into place. “After that, I started dedicating all my time to that book, learning magic and using it to make my life just a little easier. If I never found that book by chance, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. And for that, I’m grateful for this gift of magic…” Mikado trails off as he grabs another puzzle piece. “Even if my reckless use of it grabbed unwanted attention.”

“Unwanted attention…?” Teruya’s mind goes back to the Uehara tower and Mikado’s brief mention of persecution. “Were people interested in your magic?”

“Mm…yes.” Mikado slides another puzzle piece in place. “Unfortunately, I was not careful the first few times I used my magic. People noticed, and they didn’t have any good intentions for me. After all, actual magic was practically unheard of until I started running around using it in public willy-nilly. So it’s only natural that people would want to use that for their own gain, regardless of how I felt about it. Some even tried to forcefully study me or kill me!”

“K-Kill you?! Why would they do that?” Teruya said, scattering a few puzzle pieces while trying to grab one. Mikado’s mask flattens its expression at the mess. He smiles sheepishly. “S-Sorry…It’s just…I can guess why people would want to study you but…kill you? Why?”

“To be frank with you, I don’t know.” Mikado picks up two puzzle pieces and tries to put them together. Unfortunately, they don’t fit and he has to put one in a pile instead. “Perhaps my ability to wield magic goes against their beliefs. Perhaps they wanted to steal the book from me without having to worry about me retaliating. Perhaps they were simply scared of my power.” Mikado then shrugs before putting the puzzle piece in the same pile. “Either way, I made sure that I never crossed paths with those kinds of people ever again. I hid myself away, making sure to never show my magic in public or at least, very subtly. But, as you can see, as the only person who seems to know and use magic in this world, I somehow got found by Hope’s Peak Academy and they sent me a letter promising shelter.” Mikado huffs as he crosses his arms. “Now I know I was foolish to accept it.”

“Wait, you needed shelter? I mean, I know you mentioned not being able to make money through magic but…” Teruya scratches his head as he stares at the random puzzle piece in his hand.

“Like I said, I needed to keep my magic on the downlow. Any displays of it, even when I’m alone, could attract attention and that may lead to other trouble. And…let me put it this way: even magic has its own set of rules. I can’t just make food out of thin air or create a rooftop over my head forever. Magic requires energy from my own body, and even then, certain spells need materials from the environment.” Mikado explains, picking up a new puzzle piece. “As convenient as magic was, sometimes it requires too much effort and I had to look for alternative ways to sustain my life. Which is why I ended up accepting Hope’s Peak Academy’s letter, even if I did feel uneasy about it. Besides, they were giving me the option to turn them down, which is leagues better than the other people who have tried to force me into a ‘friendly’ study.”

“Sounds like the bar is in hell…” Teruya mutters before finally finding the correct spot for the puzzle piece in his hand and puts it in place. “But I guess even magic can’t fix everything.”

“Magic, like any other talent, requires plenty of studying and training. And since I didn’t have a mentor, that book was all I could learn from. Everything else was trial and error.” Mikado said, putting the next puzzle piece in place. “I’m quite talented at what I do as a self-taught wizard, to the point that I don’t even need the book anymore. But even I don’t know everything about it. But I wish to continue my studies on it soon. It’s quite fascinating…!” He pauses before slumping over. “Too bad I ended up here instead. What a mess.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get out of here soon. Ideally, with no one else dying…” Teruya said, trying to keep his optimism up. Even as Rei Mekaru’s body flashes through his mind, he pushes it down to focus on their goals. They just needed a bit more time to find a way out of here…

“Speaking of which…” Mikado glances at the clock. “It’s almost time for dinner.”

“Already?” Teruya checks his watch. Like Mikado said, it was nearing dinner time, the time where everyone would meet up and discuss their ideas and results of their investigation. “Damn, I didn’t realize how much time had passed.”

“Perhaps we should shelve the rest of this puzzle for next time. I underestimated how much time we would need.” Mikado said, before carefully levitating what was completed of the jigsaw puzzle into the box without breaking it apart. “We can always finish it tomorrow.”

“Agreed.” Teruya stretches as he ignores the nagging feeling in his gut. They moved the rest of the puzzle piece piles into the box before sealing it up. Mikado carefully puts the box away in his cape and then clears his throat.

“Before we split off, I’d best give you your assignment. Nothing too serious but something to think about for tonight.” Mikado adjusts his cape as he stands up from the table. Teruya hesitates before standing up as well.

“Okay, but I want to give you something before we part ways too.” Teruya said, already sliding his backpack off of his shoulder. Mikado tilts his head in curiosity as he digs into his backpack. He ends up pulling out a drink called Hot Seven that he had planned to try out later. But before he could decide on whether or not to keep it, Mikado had already taken the drink from his hand. “Oh, uh…do you like that drink?”

“I’ve used it once or twice while doing some late night work or studying.” Mikado admits, putting the drink away in his cape. Teruya just nods his head.

“O-Okay. If that’s what you want. Oh, but try not to overdo it with the energy drink. Your health might deteriorate if you consume it too much.” Teruya advised upon feeling another wave of information flow through his head again. He pauses upon realizing the useless trivia coming back to his mind and he groans. “Out of all the things I can remember, why this?”

“Haha, I’m afraid we can’t be picky on what we remember…or forget.” Mikado said, chuckling to himself. It sounds a little…sad. A feeling he related to very well. He clears his throat and rubs his hands together. “Thank you for the gift. As for your assignment tonight…I want you to reflect. Ask questions. About yourself, about the situation, anything. Get used to asking ‘Why?’ It doesn’t matter if you feel that those questions are ‘dumb’ because there is no such thing. You’ll only remain ignorant if you’re too scared to ask. And if writing down your questions helps you think and develop your curiosity, do so.”

“Alright…I, uh, think I can do that.” Teruya said. He wasn’t sure if he should be answering…hold on. “Should I answer my own questions?”

“Of course. Even if you don’t have concrete answers, it’s okay to list out any ideas you may have to your questions. It should help you develop your critical thinking skills as well. Just make sure you’re open to any and all possibilities. Stubbornly sticking to one answer because it’d be easier for your heart would only be denying reality.” Mikado’s mask smiles at him and Teruya nods his head. The wizard lifts his cape. “I will see you at dinner, then?”

“Yeah…See you later.” Teruya waves goodbye and Mikado teleports away. With nothing else to do here, he leaves the library.

…Mikado’s life had a lot more strife in it than he thought. Just how much of a struggle was it for him to survive? How far did he have to go?

How long had he been…alone?

Teruya takes a deep breath.

He didn’t know how he could help Mikado. There seems to be a wall of sorts that he keeps around other people. But he was opening up, slowly. Even if it was only for him, he seems to trust him enough to talk about his past. And Teruya can’t help but feel a little giddy about that.

He hopes he can help out Mikado. Help him open up a little more and make friends with everyone here.

And maybe, just maybe, he can learn to be a better investigator.

Your relationship rank with Mikado Sannoji has risen from 2 to 3!

Mikado Sannoji’s information has been recorded in the e-Handbook+’s profile page.

#SDRA2 #Super Danganronpa Another 2 #Protag Teruya AU #Teruya Otori #Mikado Sannoji #SDRA2 Spoilers #Sannotori #Terukado

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impprtante · 5 months ago

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Gen 01: Eira Thyme (Snow White) p1

Okay so, idk how to put things under the cut so sorry if jumpscare.

Because here's the first iteration of Snow White for y'all

She started it all. Yes. Her.

So, again, i was working with base game it she was like one of my first sims, literally. like, maybe 3 sims before her, of like hardcore old OCs i had. This one doesn't have the stars because cc. But yeah, that's her.

I don't really like this version because i feel like you don't get anything from this. Her clothes dont say anything about her. I didn't even realize her shoes were like, slippers until way passed when she died.

Really, her traits were bad too. Romantic, Cheerful, and Good. IMAGE THAT. LIKE HUH. in sims 4 two of those just make her feel things (not even strongly, just it pops up every one and while). Cheerful is actually useless. It says nothing, because sims are generally pretty happy. They're really easy to please. Now, in the Growing Together, I keep getting "wanna be cheerful?" because im a sucker for keeping my sims content. So, yeah, this first iteration keeps in line. She was my first, i love her, but girly didn't have a personality.

In fact, she had so little personality her cardboard cut out was "she's very empathetic, good person." her whole character was "good person". Which, as a character to write, isn't the worst characteristic to have a paragon of good (cap america, superman) but beyond that she had nothing. No interest, no likes, no dislikes (just sad when people are mean). Nothing. I gave her a chef job so she would cook well for her kids and thats about it.

AND SHE WASN'T EVEN GOOD AT BEING "GOOD". I had her have children with 5 different men ;; __ ;; like i had no clue how to spin that. I had the idea of "good girl" stereotype including a kind of same chasity, which the challenge said was fine, but i thought it was more interesting if she had different fathers. And i'm not saying the part with the sleeping around is a terrible crime, its more the 7 children part. like, canonically does she not know how contraceptives' work??? Did she *want* 7 children and never tell the dads about it since she has custody of them all? If they were one night stands they wouldn't want children and there would be no 7 anything, if they were unplanned and she didn't want them then she didn't know about abortions, and if they were wanted and planned then the drama of leading on multiple men at the same time (because they were all close in age) is like, shockingly evil. Not something a good sim would do.

So either i go with something realistic, and sad and depressing at the beginning. Or something unrealistic and campy for the vibes.

Either way, kinda screwed myself over. I compromised by making her more morally gray. The story now goes roughly along the lines of: she doesn't believe in abortions, she knew the consequences of sleeping around, and she didn't want to tell the fathers because she didn't want them to try to talk her out of it or for them feeling guilty about something she did. So. I feel like it's rough and im still brainstorming if i think of something better. Maybe writing out her though process would help, just because i feel like that ^^ is kinda wild and something most people don't like, see everyday.

So really, i made a mess of things super early on ;; __ ;; making things difficult for myself is my middle name.

When she got moved to the old immortal save, i moved things with her but i didn't really get a personality from her anyways. Just, kinda hanging out. But yeah, no vibes coming from her. her bland house in her bland outfits, living her bland life.

I gave her a few outfits that later were used as the basis of her new stuff. Not as bad as the first look, me thinks.

Eira right now is pretty different, and lives a different life.

i think this and the next are pretty long so i'll split it into two parts brb

#dplc #sims 4 #Eira Thyme #gen 01

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chevvy-yates · 2 years ago

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⚠️ READ: Please do not repost/reupload any of my art here or to any other platform, or I will be forced to do anything to get it annihilated.

Vijay through the years – Part 2 of 4

|—2064: Sweet Sixteen. |

|—2068: Rebel Yell.

SHORT VERSION: (for the long version klick the Keep Reading under the time line and skip the short version) What has happened to the cute cinnamon boy from next door? The answer is simple: bad influence — through a girl named Reva, he met around 2065 and fell in love with. Vijay saw no sense in staying with his parents who didn't care about him anyway, so he went off to live with Reva and the gang she was in instead. The result? — three years of thievery, harassment, vandalism, violence and even murdering. He also started smoking, drinking and taking drugs. Reva was addicted to add cyberware to her body and in three years only she replaced more and more of it with chrome. That combined with hard drugs she was taking all Vijay was able to do was to watch her disintegration. It went so far, that she wanted him to modify his body as well, trying to force him, but he didn’t want to replace any of his limbs. Though he loved her, at some point he knew if he didn't break up and cut ties completely to everyone from that group it wouldn't have ended well for him. Well, it almost cost him his life because Reva turned Cyberpsycho one day, attacking him with her mantis blades that cut his throat, luckily leaving him alive but damaging his thyroid so, it had to be replaced with a synth one, visibly seen on his throat. After rehabilitation and finishing school, he set for a new start in a city far away from Portland: Night City. Vijay does not talk about this span of his life. He buried it deep down in his memories and would love to entirely forget about it, but the memories keep coming back in form of nightmares. And mantis blades can be a huge trigger for him.

| |—2073: Shock to the System. | |—2077: Neuromancer.

LONG VERSION:

At some point of his life in 2065 Vijay met a girl named Reva. Well, you could already say she was a young woman, because she was about three years older than him. V was fascinated by her appearance because she didn’t look like any other girl he knew from school. She looked rebellious — dressed all in black, had a side cut and if he had to describe it in a style, he’d say she looked like a goth-punk-rock girl. He took a liking of her immediately. She was doing things he’d never dared to do, she smoked, she was fearless, she loved to prank and every story she told of herself sounded exciting to him. Vijay didn’t see it as bad influence on him back then but it definitely turned out to be exactly that. He was a naïve young guy who happened to be totally over the moon for her. She would spoil him almost completely.

One day, Reva offered him that she could get him a cyberdeck. Vijay was really into hacking and read a lot about cyberdecks and quick hacks. He had found himself a liking to hack into computers, servers and practically anything that is connected to the net by using his own devices just for reading about information while staying invisible. He took the offer and Reva took him to the place where she lived. A friend of her started to make himself a living by becoming a ripper doc and through him V got his very first cyberdeck. Of course, he had to do something in return for that because he couldn’t pay for it. The favor he had to do was hacking into Portland’s police data base system to delete a few files that gave any info on Reva’s gang. Easy task for him. Thrilled from that new triumph he licked blood and the gang saw potential in him as well.

Reva showed him the entire place and he met all the people she lived with — you could call them some kind of a nameless outlaw gang where everyone really seemed to live either some punk-rock or vampire-goth style (the last one is to take seriously as well, because at some point in those three years a few of the gang really started believing they were vampires, getting themselves vampire fangs, drinking blood and only be active at night). Vijay got excited — it was the entire opposite of what he’d known so far. Out of nowhere, he was thrilled to become a part of it. To break this cycle of his boring and often lonely life of the teenager he was. Following rules, taking orders, always be polite, learn all day so you get good grades — for what? He didn’t know what to do with his life anyway. So, he decided to join these people — not caring about school. Not caring about the future. Not even caring about his parents. They didn’t care about him anyway in the past 17 years. So, what?

That’s when he started being a different Vijay. He dyed his naturally ginger hair black, shaved his sides and added piercings over the following three years to his body. His wardrobe changed into one of a rocker-like style, so he’d fit the overall gang look and started living a life as a true Portland rebel outlaw. That of course included him starting to be involved into thievery, robbing, vandalism, harassments, using violence and also sometimes murder in self-defense. He taught himself to shoot a gun at a self-constructed shooting range and he developed his skills in quick hacking where he definitely found a liking in using mostly non-lethal or useful hacks at first such as Overheat, Short Circuit or Breach Protocol and Cyberware Malfunction. Once he experienced that he was also able to kill someone by also using quick hacks only such as Suicide or Synapse Burnout he kind of felt inviolable. But he was also scared after using it the first time. The sheer power it gave him to decide about life and death was something very dangerous he could play with. He had to keep himself under control not to use it too often because it awakened a rush deep inside him, a superior feeling of being untouchable, that he could be the one deciding whose life was to hang by a thread. He agreed with himself he would only make use of it in desperate situations.

Of course, he also started to smoke, drink and — yes, he also took drugs. Why? — Because everyone did and they all said it was a great feeling it gave you, so Vijay didn’t hesitate any moment. He had no fear of taking some but consumed mostly Blue Glass or Stim drugs, though. The hallucinogenic Blue Glass had this amazing flashing out effect on him, where he often stared blankly at pretty neon colors in his mind that began to form the craziest 80s style vaporwave worlds he could have ever imagined — and he already had a very bright imagination without the use of any drug when he was daydreaming escaping into his fantasy worlds back when he was still a kid. Somehow, he had been rational enough not to take the real hard stuff — either it was because he was completely fine with being on Blue Glass only or because of the stories he had heard and even witnessed what some drugs were able to do to a human.

The first year and a half were times full of fun, excitement, thrill and new experiences for Vijay. He felt completely wrapped up in his new self. After having his first time with Reva and losing his virginity as well he was able to live out the sex life he was having the wildest fantasies about for so long (everything in the city is sexualized so teenagers get early into contact with that sadly). She was fun and loved to experiment. This was also the time Vijay eventually found the explanation why he liked men and women the same way — he discovered he is bisexual. By reaching teenage age he slowly noticed that he didn't want to kiss only girls but also boys but thought it was wrong at first since all his male school friends had been with girls. So, he did the same, until someday, when a young man joined the gang a year after him, who Vijay found quite attractive. That young man made a move and kissed him while the gang was having fun at a lake going skinny dipping. Reva was the one to encourage the two to try out some more. She was completely fine with it. Maybe it was just because everybody has been permanently high from the consume of drugs — however, Vijay was still in a happy relationship with Reva which soon was doomed to turn into a nightmare.

The last year and a half, Vijay slowly began to notice that the life he lived for now was not making him really happy anymore. He was far away from being content. The use of drugs and alcohol made him look like a mess and he often felt a big emptiness inside him. He was living through the day without any reason until the gang decided they would need to rob someone because they ran out of money. He began to ask himself what was the purpose of all this? This couldn’t be it. He witnessed the ruin Portland got into because he was part of it: underclass slowly decaying in the back alleys being pumped up with drugs and robbed of the few eddies they got while the rich and filthy upper class bathed themselves in real champagne and shiny gold at luxurious parties. He wanted to do something against that but the rest of the gang didn’t. They found it too risky to get involved with the high society so they continued focusing on easier targets — and Vijay didn’t like that because it was wrong. After all, these people where in the same need of money and fighting to survive every day as them.

And to cap it all: Reva had begun to add more and more cyberware to her body. She already had lots of fashionable chrome on her face but found a liking to replace her limbs with entire cyberware such a thermal mantis blades. She simply got obsessed with it — any part that made her human needed to be replaced bit by bit. Once she got the eddies together she was always at the ripper doc getting new chrome. V began to worry about her — not only did it change her outer looks, no — her soul seemed to change as well. He tried to appeal to her conscience but it was no use getting through even not a breach protocol helped because he wasn’t advanced enough to get through. She was addicted to replace everything. She even went so far trying to get him into it as well as soon as she seemed to run out of what she could replace on herself.

But Vijay didn’t intend to replace any of his limps neither to add some cosmetic cyberware. The cyberdeck and his Kiroshi optics he got were already enough for him. He saw no sense at all in replacing any well-functioning part of his body with some partly cheap chrome. The love Reva once had for V slowly vanished and brought up only anger, disappointment and indifference. She developed violent tendencies — first only verbally but soon to be physically as well — her character completely changed with being almost fully chromed and high on drugs. All Vijay was able to do was that he could watch Reva’s disintegration. It hurt him to see her like this, to live through it each day. Some days she felt a little better but most times it was only torture for both of them.

Once he found out she was taking Black Lace, Vijay got to a point where he realized, that this couldn’t go on like this. Either she stopped taking this very dangerous shit and got help or he had to leave for his own good. He didn’t want to see her fall apart while his hands were tied, yet he couldn’t leave her because he loved her. He tried everything he could but she didn’t seem to want any help. She needed that stuff so badly, she failed to resist the addiction, so that it ate away her last bit of humanity throwing her into cyberpsychosis. That was when the worst case eventually happened: Reva attacked V with her thermal blades. She wasn’t able to divide between friend or foe — anything was a thread to her. Vijay almost lost his life that day because one blade pierced his throat just so, that his entire thyroid took damage, thankfully not hitting any important arteries. He was only able to prevent getting his head chopped off by rapidly using the Synapse Burnout quick hack on her that stopped her from ending him — but in a lethal way for her.

He didn’t know how he managed to get out of this entire situation. All he knew was that he dragged himself away from her lifeless body having a blurry vision, pressing one hand onto his throat until he fainted with everything turning black. The next he remembered was waking up in some kind of shady hospital. Someone had brought him there and left him at the doorstep was all the doc would tell. The thermal blades thankfully almost burned the open wound so there wasn’t much of blood loss. His thyroid was completely damaged and had to be replaced with a synthetic one alongside with a few vocal chords that took damage as well. From now on Vijay had to live with a visible scar in form of cyberware on his throat (there is no visible scar left because the skin there is synthetic as well). While everyone just saw some fashionable chrome on him, he would always be reminded of his past and the horrible denouement the first love in his life came to an end. He killed Reva. He had to do it. She would have killed him. One quick hack and she got chipped out of the system. He’ll never forgive himself even though she was lost already. That he couldn’t breach through the wall. That the cybernetics consumed her identity. That he wasn’t able to stop her from becoming cyberpsycho. The only exit was to hit delete.

It took him four months of rehabilitation before he was able to pick up where he left: finishing school and getting his life back together somehow. Once he passed his exams he decided to leave Portland behind and set for a new start in a city far away from the past: Night City. He brought back the happy cute guy he was from before, just in a grown-up version — completely burying the past three years somewhere deep in his mind not telling anyone about it. Nobody would believe him anyway. There are days where he almost entirely forgets about it because life keeps him busy — he started studying marine biology — and he’s thankful for the second chance. He doesn’t try to cling on the past, because he lived right here and now. Yet the memories will haunt him for the rest of his life in form of nightmares — and mantis blades ready for action will continue to remind him and be a huge trigger, when they cross his personal space.

I wish I could have written in a different view. not only the view of a story teller but also in Vijays view, so it would have maybe more emotions and all. But if I did that I'd spend like half a year on this to get it to a point where I like what I've written and this ist not going to happen.

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ignitedbynatsu · 4 years ago

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He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Natsu

A/N: Woowie it has been a while hasn’t it 😅 Writers block can be a bitch but I think I have a few more ideas for the other boys. Let me know who you want me to write for next!!

warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel like you feel like your magic isn’t compatible, cursing

genre: angst to fluff

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting ~ Rogue

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Tension had been running high for Natsu when his fire attacks had been cancelled one after the other by the wind magic user, but when you were the one that accidentally nullified his attack with your water magic, that’s when he completely snapped.

You had taken note of the rising irritation in your boyfriend's behaviour, and you thought that he hadn’t noticed the attack coming his way so in the heat of the moment you decided to step in. As a result, your water extinguished his flames and you both could dodge his attack your opponent’s attack just in time.

“Natsu, I’m so sorry-“ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You were a bit taken back by his sudden tone as he had never yelled at you before. He took notice of your sudden state of shock, but that wasn’t enough to prevent the vicious word from coming from his mouth “Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea? Don’t you see that you’re a nuisance to me? All you do is fuck up my fire and get in my way. I don’t want your magic near me, can you get that through your thick skull?”

“Natsu!” Erza called out to the stressed fire dragon slayer “This is not the time nor the place”

“I won’t get in your way next time” You whispered before heading over to help Lucy with her opponent.

After a while, you overpowered your foes and were now on a train making your way back to Magnolia. You sat next to Lucy, while Carla and Wendy were seated in front of you. Natsu, Gray, Erza and Happy were seated in the boot next to yours.

“(Y/N)” Natsu whined “I’m dying, please help me” You usually summoned some water in the palm of your hand and let it softly swirl against his forehead. For some reason, it helped with the nauseous feeling, and you were about to give in until you realized his words from earlier. He wanted your magic nowhere near him. What if you somehow fucked up and splashed water all over him. You did not want to be yelled at again.

“Tell Natsu I’m asleep or something” You mumbled lowly, so only Lucy could hear, while you laid your head on her shoulder. She gave you a sad smile, knowing the outburst was still fresh on your mind. She complied, making Natsu groan in response but eventually gave up. He didn’t look too much in it as he knew how tired you could get from these jobs.

Once out of the train, you didn’t spare Natsu a second look. You walked in front of everyone, but Erza quickly caught up to walk next to you, while the other looked after the two Dragon Slayers that were still feeling a bit nauseous from the train ride “Are you okay?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked.

Erza clicked her tongue as she looked at you from the corner of her eyes, absolutely not believing the lie that just fell from your tongue “Natsu was way out of line”

“He was just stressed, it can happen to the best of us” You shrugged it off, hoping that if you treated it lightly it wouldn’t weight down later in your mind.

“Still not an excuse to work it out on you” She pointed out.

“I know, thank you for caring, but really Erza, I promise I’m okay.” You gave her a small genuine smile which she returned.

You didn’t return to the guild as the others did, instead, you went home, telling the others you were too tired from the mission to deal with the shenanigans from Fairy Tail. Natsu offered to walk you home, but you kindly denied it, leaving him a bit confused. He realized he should probably give you some space since he lashed out at you. He made a mental note to apologize next thing in the morning when he’d see you.

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Natsu ran over to you and hugged you tightly while spinning you around making you squeal in surprise “put me down, Natsu”

“Only if you forgive me for what happened yesterday,” he said.

“I forgive you. You were stressed, I get it, it’s no big deal” You forgave him.

“I knew you’d understand, you’re the best” He kissed your cheek as he placed you back on your feet “anyway Happy and I found this job and-“

“I think I’m gonna take a day off, still feel a little tired from yesterday, you can go, though, have fun” you cut him off before he could fully explain the mission.

“Alright, make sure you take care of yourself today! I’ll be home as soon as I can, so we can cuddle” He kissed your forehead before turning to the Exceed “Let’s go Happy! Let’s go ask if Lucy wants to join”

That’s how the following weeks went. You always found an excuse to not join Natsu and Happy on the job. Sure you had forgiven him for his outburst since he was under a lot of stress. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but you also knew it could happen to the best of us when you’ve hit your limit. However, you couldn’t help but see some truth in his words.

Your magic was not compatible and made you doubt yourself. You associated yourself strongly with your magic, as every wizard did, so I made you think if you and Natsu were suited for each other. After all, that was one of the many reasons why Natsu and Gray shared such a peculiar friendship.

You had often heard of the saying that opposites attracted, but nothing could be further from the truth. The human race is a narcissistic species and wants nothing more than finding themselves in their significant others. Huge differences might be exciting and fun at first but are bound to break in the long run.

“(Y/N), you wanna go on a mission with us?” Natsu asked as you stood in front of the board with job applications.

“Can’t, I promised Gajeel I-“ You started to explain but cut yourself off when Natsu threw you over his shoulder “Natsu! Let me go! Natsu!”

“No we need to talk,” He said in a serious tone, making you stop struggling against his grip and let him take you outside, so you could talk in private.

“What do you wanna talk about?” You asked softly as you took notice of the sincere expression on his face.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked as his black orbs were searching for answers in your eyes.

“I am not” you deflected his question, but you breaking eye contact as soon as the words past your lips proved you were lying.

“Ever since that day I lashed out at you, you haven’t gone on a mission with me” He pressed.

“That’s not true” you denied once again which made him frown. Why were you dishonest with him?

“Okay, when was the last time we went on a job together?” He asked. Your silence was a clear answer and you both knew it. Your gaze averted to the ground, but he refused to let you shy away from him as he placed a finger under your chin to tilt your head back up until your eyes meet once again. His hand softly from underneath your chin to lay on your cheek “are you still upset with me?”

Your heart shattered at how vulnerable he was right now. His playful antics long replaced by guilt that had been slowly eating away at him for the past days. “No, of course not”

“Then please tell me what I did wrong. I can’t stand the thought of me deliberately hurting you. Please tell me what’s troubling you, so I can fix it” He pleaded.

“Do you-“ You paused to collect your thoughts “do you think we’re right for each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“That day you said my magic was a nuisance. It got me thinking and you were right. You have to evade my magic so often, and it's all because it isn’t compatible with one another. I just didn’t want to be more of a hinder than I already was, that’s why I started to join others on their jobs just so I wouldn’t mess up yours. I just sometimes wonder if my magic isn’t the only thing that isn’t compatible with you.” You frowned as you hear yourself your insecurities out loud.

“Hey, no, stop. What I said that day was completely out of line. I took my frustration and took them out on you and I shouldn’t have. I have no excuse for how I acted that day. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for making you feel bad. So what if we’re a little different. I thought you always liked a good challenge?” He apologized.

“Sure I like the thrill of our relationship, but it doesn’t take away from the fact our magic isn’t suitable for one another. I just think we’re setting ourselves up for failure. A challenge is fun for a little while but we both know that stability is what you need if you want a relationship to survive in the long run” You explained.

“Then we’ll defy those odds. I’ll show everyone and especially you that you don’t need something like psychology to prove if a relationship will work or not. Please let me prove to you how much I can love you and let me prove to you that I’ll eventually become that stability you crave.” He vowed. “I always thought you weren’t one to be quick on giving up when things get rough”

“I’m not, I just don’t want to put my heart out there if I know from the start it’ll only get broken” You uttered somberly.

“I promise you it won’t. I’ll love you with every fiber in my body until the day I die. I will never make you doubt yourself or our relationship again” He told you, sincerity audible in his voice.

You smiled softly at him as your arms sneaked around his waist while your head laid on his chest. His arms immediately reacted at your touch, shielding you away from the world as his lips planted a soft kiss on your head “I love you”

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