#anyway this show got me ALLLLLL THE WAY BACK IN

[stillcominback]

the ones who live screaming under the cut 💕

i just love rick and michonne’s love SO MUCH. rick’s so broken and terrified (understandably so) — seeing his almost tearful plea to jadis (fucking HATER) and how he tries to shove michonne away … goD 🫠 my heart broke a million times. but it’s him who’s broken, not THEM and i literally cannot wait for michonne to show him that he’s still rick fucking grimes and they can do anything together.

i’m still cackling and kicking my feet that michonne was 1000% not buying what he was selling and threw them both out of a literal helicopter!! a literal leap of faith and we love to see it!!! i cannot WAIT for next week wkfjskdjak i think they just need room and time to BE together and TALK so!! i’m ready.

[saintobio]

HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!

first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.

BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.

anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.

oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…

honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀

omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:

- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it

- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.

- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished

[froggy-demon]

Oh Deer - Part Four

A/N: thank you again for all of the support!! I had to rewrite this one a couple of times because I just couldn’t decide, I hope you like it <3 I’m so excited to share my writings and I’m so astonished every time y’all leave nice comments I love them so much, thank you!! All of that said, enjoy!

Chapter Summery: Lilly is treated to a glamorous night out under the Vs’ roof, accompanied by a familiar demon, angst and tension ensues.

Masterlist | Part Five

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I rolled my eyes, again, and waved away the idea. “No way, we both know Alastor fucking hates me, he just hates Lucifer more I guess.” Angel was positive that Alastor was sincere in his display earlier, I was not quite as delusional though. “He quite literally said he was fucking around.” I added. Even if I found myself fascinated with the demon, I wasn’t so naive to think that feeling went both ways.

“Maybe, or maybe he just wanted an excuse.” Angel paused and had a look of realization on his face as he broke out into a smile. “If you want some real attention though, y’know the Vs are throwing that big party if Velvette ain’t already dragging you to it you could be my plus one! Val usually keeps me pretty fucking busy all night, but they are actually pretty fun. Lots of cute demons and free booze if you know what I mean!” Angle said with a wink and laughed. That’s not a terrible idea actually, get out a little and have some fun. My streak hasn’t been so great recently so I could really use a win on that front.

“Y’know that actually does sound fun. Velvette hasn’t brought it up at all yet so she probably won’t need me there, but I also don’t have anything to wear for it, I’ll need something new. I could use some retail therapy anyway.” I said and rested my head on top of the pillow in my lap smiling. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Angel lit up at the sound of going shopping.

“Oh I will make sure you are the best dressed demon in the whole fucking party, don’t worry about that tuts! We want something that will show you you off!” He held up his fingers like he was mimicking a camera taking pictures of me. “You got it all babe! The tits, the ass, the smile! They are going to eat you up, especially once I’m done with you!” He ranted making me laugh. I don’t think in my whole before and afterlife I’ve ever heard someone describe me that way. “I’m serious! Al will see what he’s missing tomorrow night!” Angel teased very proud of his scheme.

“This has nothing to do with him, but I do like that idea. As soon as I get off work we need to hit the shops so we still have enough time.” I said trying to plan out the next night. Angel agreed and we worked out the time table to make sure we would stay on track. Work, then shop, then hotel to get ready, then back across town to the party. Excellent, tomorrow night will be all about what I want, it’s been a while since I could say that.

After a couple more hours of giggling and gossip, like hearing allllll about how Husk and Angel made eye contact today and it was riveting, we settle down to fall asleep while the purple lights twinkled above our heads. I tried to calm my mind, but it raced just thinking about tomorrow. This party is for high profile souls, overlords and wealthy demons in hell, hopefully I don’t stick out too much, but I like to think I’ve learned a good amount from my work. Maybe it will be enough to actually go a whole night without thinking about the radio demon, I can only hope.

The next morning there was a renewed joy in my step as I walked down to the kitchen to make my morning coffee. It didn’t matter that it was far too early to be awake, or that I was about to be yelled at for the next ten hours of my day, no, I would do it all with a smile because today I actually had something to look forward to. I cozied up in a chair in the lounge with my mug and breathed in the steam while I watched the fire in the fireplace dance.

1-2-click 1-2-click 1-2-click

I can’t help but wonder what makes him need to be up so early, what business could he have at 4am? He walked through the lounge and I tried to hide the fact that I was watching by playing on my phone. I couldn’t stop myself from taking in the sight of him with curious eyes, he was less put together than usual. His ears were tucked back and he wasn’t wearing his waistcoat. It was an odd sighting for him to not have it on. Without it you could see his sleeve garters which gave him an almost rugged look like he had been pouring over his desk for hours, and then you could see his little deer tail. He didn’t greet me and I was not going to be the first one of us to say anything so he passed through the room quietly. After he did, I took another sip of my coffee. Maybe his broadcast had given him some sort of trouble, or perhaps he had been returning to his M.O. from before his absence of torturing souls he saw fit on the air. I don’t care to listen to his broadcasts, when anything important happens I will know either from sinstigram or Velvette yelling about it the next day.

After a few more minutes of enjoying the peace and quiet of the early morning hotel I cleaned my mug out and made my way to work.

Upon arriving I could tell I was going to have a few extra duties today. They were already decorating the main event space elsewhere in the building, I could tell by the exorbitant number of tables and decor being moved around through the halls, and if there is one thing Velvette loves it is to micromanage how something looks. I go up to the studio and start collecting my clipboard and the ever growing list of what must get done today. Between keeping tv personalities well dressed, reshoots for the launch of Velvette’s fashion line, and now the party I think I’m going to need a second pair of arms. I guess that’s what we have the studio aids for.

“I need the Art Director for Velvette’s line in the studio, we need to confirm details and revisions.” I spoke into my earpiece and waited for confirmation before moving onto the next task and then the task after that. Finally some time later Velvette joined us in the studio and started barking her own orders as well. I joined the collection of demons flocking to her side for their morning abuse.

“Fucking finally, Lilly I need you to make sure everyone to set downstairs before you leave today. Make sure you have the vision plan and everything else I had them work up so you actually know what the fuck you’re supposed to be checking. If a single fucking chair is at the wrong angle it is your fault. Me and Vox have put too much fucking work into this party tonight for it not to look right I need perfection from you today. Even the seven bloody deadly sins are coming so if anything is not exactly the way I fucking pictured it, your leash will become very short.” She ordered and I nodded quietly. “Until then I need the stupid fucking art director for my line up here now!”

“Yes Ma’am. The Art Director is waiting for you with the concept photos for final approval.” I stated. She smiled, not exactly rare, but not exactly common especially while she was working.

“Finally you use that fucking brain of yours to get shit ready before I have to tell you to. How refreshing! In that case find the makeup artists, they keep running off to hell knows what and I’m this close to snapping one of them in half to set a fucking example, ungrateful little shits!” And with that she left to yell at the next soul she could find.

I spoke into my earpiece again, “Creative Director for Events, where are you? We need to check in immediately.” Upon confirmation that they were downstairs in the event space I headed there myself and we went over the binders of planning and inspiration the Vs had laid out. The event hall was really more like a grand ballroom, as hypermodern as the Vs were, it would seem they still found charm in some old world aesthetics. With massive crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, white marble floors, and dramatically draped floor length windows, it nearly looked straight out of a period piece. The colors for the party were blue and black, sounds like Vox won that argument. The tables were being set up with black tablecloths and vibrant blue hydrangeas, I didn’t even know you could grow those in hell. There were demons running all around the space sweeping, bringing things in, decorating the stage, the bar, exchanging the drapes out to match the color scheme.

I checked every chair and table to make sure they were level, every centerpiece for dead flowers and leaves, the stage for splinters, the drapes for snugs in the fabric. “Do we have the staff apparel ready?” I asked the director. She was a short demon who was lizard like with one large eye in the center of her head.

“No, we hadn’t coordinated that yet.” Of course not. I mentally rolled my eyes, luckily costuming was my bread and butter.

“I’ll handle that then, how much staff will there be tonight?” I asked clicking my pen so I could jot in down. 100 serves, 10 bartenders, 5 bands, 45 miscellaneous staff on the floor, okay, doable. “Keep a handle on everything down here, I’ll track all of that down, do not let them fuck it up.” I said and she gave a polite nod. Awesome, 160 coordinated outfits, because that won’t take all day or anything.

I spent a good few hours tracking down various sizes of royal blue suit vests and dress pants, royal blue suit jackets, royal blue button up shirts and black ties, royal blue knee length skirts, shoes, but it was possible with the size of our costuming department. By the end of the day I had neatly organized racks of outfits for each position and each size with a skirt or pants option. Staff was just beginning to trickle in the door and I assigned a few studio aids to help make sure everyone had the clothes they required for the night. Before it was too late I did one last once over of the ballroom. Centerpieces were good, chairs good, all the ambient candles were lit, I could see the bartenders just beginning to organize the bars, the bands were setting up their equipment, I think I might have actually pulled this one off.

I breathe a sigh of relief and I finish triple checking my work. Everything is set in place which leaves only one more thing: myself. I handover to the Event Manager who has arrived for the evening and she thanks me for getting us here, something I’m not very used to hearing. I thank her and text Angel Dust that I’m on my way out the door at work and am heading out to pick out a dress. He immediately texts back that he is on his way to the front of the building as well and we will meet there. I gather myself and get there just as he is.

Angel is in good spirits as he links his lower arm with mine, which is still a bit tall for me, and we start wadding through shop after shop. We know we are on a time crunch, but Angel seems to have something very specific in mind. Finally after trying on at least two dozen dresses and probably half as many shops, when I step out of the dressing room his eyes light up and a big smile spreads across his face.

“Oh baby, that is the one!” He spins me toward the mirror and I can’t help but feel a little self conscious. “You are going to be turning heads all fucking night in this little number! We might need to hire security for you!” I laughed at the idea and attempted to pull the hem down just an inch more. It was a very short black, strapless dress with a wide square neckline and a low back. It came with a pair of matching black elbow length gloves and I could already imagine how I would pair it with accessories at home. He was right though, it looked stunning. It hugged every square inch of my body and admittedly had more cleavage than I was used to as it seemed to defy physics by still being supportive, it was beautiful.

“Angel, it might be too much, I don’t want to go overboard.” I said biting my lip, but I couldn’t stop turning in the mirror to see myself at every angle. Angel grabbed my shoulders and looked at me in the mirror.

“It’s perfect.” He assured. We bought it and took it home with just one hour left to get ready for the evening.

When he stepped out Angel was wearing a black version of his typical suit jacket and shorts, exchanging his pinkish red gloves for a baby pink pair and kept his thigh high boots, he looked incredible and I told him so, he nearly blushed for a second before lighting back up as we walked downstairs.

“Me? Fucking look at you! Little miss straight-laced, you look drop-double-dead-gorgeous tonight!” He beamed, this time it was my turn to blush. I had added a pair of dark tights and my royal blue Mary Jane shoes, with a delicate royal blue ribbon tied around my neck like a choker. I pulled my gloves up a little more to make sure they were all the way on before running a hand through my hair. I hope he is right.

“Thank you Angel, I try my best.” I said sheepishly. Angel instead upon stopping by the lounge where the rest of the group was gathered to say goodbye before we were off. We stepped into the room and I smiled awkwardly as Angel presented me, very proud of his work.

“I give to you, the new and improved Lilly!” He sang and motioned to me. Charlie looked surprised but happy, Vaggie was about the same, but had a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Sir. Pentious had a light blush but reassured me that I looked very nice. Husk was trying to hide it, but absolutely eyeing Angel. Niffty squealed with joy and ram little figure eights around us manically giggling about how nice we looked. Alastor was nowhere to be found though. “Where’s the big guy? I said I needed everyone!” Angel frowned.

“Please excuse my tardiness, I too was getting ready for tonight!” Alastor chirped as he walked into the room. He was dressed very well, his suit looked new just for the occasion as it was a slightly deeper shade of red than his normal suit and it was more simple with a short tail coat and a chain across the chest and it had a very faint pinstripe pattern to it. He looked like he had gotten a fresh haircut and maybe it’s my imagination, but even his old cane looked a little fresher to match. As I finished drinking him in I realized his eyes were going over me in the very same way.

“Since when are you fucking going to a party that Vox is throwing?” Angel asked the demon who chuckled.

“Oh I wouldn’t dare miss it, so many important demons and souls there tonight. I couldn’t give Vox the chance to twist a narrative if left to his own devices! Plus,” he pulled a small paper from his breast pocket. “He invited me.” Alastor had a wicked smile on as he stuffed his invitation back into his pocket. Angel gave me a small look that told me this was news to him, as it was to me. I guess Alastor is an overlord and Vox does seem rather keen on him. Even if they are enemies, best to keep him close.

“Well, I guess we should all get going then.” I said and before I could turn towards the door shadows crushed over us and just as quickly as they appeared they dissipated and we were in front of the event room door.

•

As soon as I saw her in the lounge I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Her dress was the most revealing thing I’d even seen draped across her figure. The visual mixing with her timid posing made something within me tick. Every curve was on display, the dress hardly covered her ass as the hem just barely brushed the top of her soft thighs, it scarcely managed to contain her chest if she didn’t have perfect posture it could be quite the display, her exposed back left her looking delicate and accessible. An anger burned in me, traipsing through a gala in such a vulnerable position, she should be locked away from such prying eyes where only I can look upon her form like this, where I can revel in it. The gentle look in her eyes made my mind race. How dare she look like that and yet so innocent at the same time, I wanted to ruin that innocent look, I wanted her eyes to hold nothing but pleasure and lust as I did so. If a soul should so much as hover their eyes over her a moment too long I might have to restrain myself from slaughtering them. As we walked into the event room Angel was quickly called away but Valentino, who blew us a sarcastic kiss from across the busy room. My eyes stayed trained on her though, she would not be leaving my sight tonight whether she knew it or not.

•

Alastor seemed in no rush to find any friends as he walked behind me through the crowded space. Hundreds of demons and overlords and hellish elites mingled around me. I secretly enjoyed his company, but me and Angel had agreed that tonight was about me and as much as I was intregued by Alastor, I knew that went one way. “Alastor, if you are going to accompany me tonight,” I turned and flashed a smile at him. “Would you perhaps be able to hunt down a drink for me to sip on? It’s awfully warm.” I asked, anxiously adjusting my gloves again. He casted his eyes across the room before answering.

“Why don’t you join me, My Dear? We’ll find it together. Then I can brief you on who not to talk to.” He stressed the end of his sentence like it was very important I don’t meet certain souls in attendance tonight. He reached to place a hand on my shoulder blade to guide me forward but I stepped to the side.

“Please Alastor, I’ll find my way to somewhere quiet until you return, I’m a big girl.” I teased a little and batted my eyes at him. I don’t know what his deal was tonight, maybe he had more foes than friends in attendance, but still I know how to get out of a sticky situation when I find myself in one, especially here.

“I insist, I wouldn’t want to abandon a lady at an event like this, who knows what kind of unsavory figure could swoop in.” The static crackled off his voice at the beginning. I felt his hand meet my shoulder successfully. His eyes burned into mine and I felt there was danger that I wasn’t aware of. I gave in and slowed to allow him to guide me towards the bar. It was quite busy and in the crowd my back was nearly pressed against his chest as we walked. I could feel the heat coming off in him, he smelled like fresh rain in the woods. I kept my hands clasped in front of me and kept a polite smile on as we finally reached the edge of the crowd for my drink.

Alastor left my side by less than two steps to order me a drink, I took the chance to look around the room. There were hundreds of finely dressed demons in attendance, a part of me was very pleased to see everyone enjoying the space I had helped to create and so far not a hair out of place.

“For you, My Dear.” He said graciously as he handed me my glass, if I remember the menu correctly this is a mermaid mule, giving it a violently blue color. “Now I think it’s about time we start making the rounds to say hello, don’t you think?” He grinned and placed his hand back on my shoulder blade as we reentered the crowd. It wasn’t really a question that explain answer. I looked up at him from the corner of my eye, he was quite cautiously watching the crowd. I couldn’t tell if he was looking for anyone in particular or not, but his mind certainly had a goal it was focused on.

“Alastor, I appreciate the escort, but really I was hoping to be on my own tonight.” He did not bother to look at me, but he did seem to see someone he wished to talk to as we gently started heading a different way. “I fear you might not be the most suitable wing man.” I teased trying to smile at the taller demon.

“I’m afraid not, besides please allow me to introduce you to the darling Rosie, overlord of cannibal town!” He motioned to the women just a couple of feet ahead of us now. She was tall and remarkably pretty even with her hollowed out eyes and her sharp teeth she managed to look friendly and lively. “Rosie! A pleasure as always!” Alastor sang.

She turned and lit up upon seeing him, waving us over. “Alastor darling, it’s so good to see you! Who’s this little number you brought along tonight? You better keep a close eye on her. I could eat her right up!” Her smile reminded me of his, but it was more sincere. She spoke with a very old dialect, but it left me thinking she ought to be sipping tea on someone’s porch with a novel in her hand. I returned her smile and Alastor introduced us.

“This is Lilly, an associate of mine from Charlie’s hotel.” He said and Rosie gave a small applause.

“It is very nice to meet you Ma’am, I am very lucky to be a resident under the princess’ trust. I hope you are enjoying the evening, I helped put it together, so please feel free to let me know if there is anything at all you need. I am positive we can make it happen.” I offered and she giggled.

“Oh such a sweetheart, you are! What a very nice swaray this is turning out to be, thank you! I can’t imagine need anything not already provided!” She assured me and she and Alastor continued to talk for a few more minutes. I watched Alastor as he did, he seemed to genuinely enjoy her company, it was a nice look on him, but his ears would twitch every so often giving away that he was still on high alert.

Eventually Alastor excused us, in search of another overlord to greet. We repeated this pattern a few times, one even joked that if Alastor was going to keep such a close eye on me he needed to put me ‘under contract’, or he would. I felt Alastor’s claws ever so slightly press themselves a little harder into my skin and his laugh was clipped. Once we had a moment to ourselves again I scanned the room for Angel or Valentino, I hadn’t seen him since our arrival, but with no luck. I did however spot another V. I could see Vox chatting up an interesting looking demon, he was tall and owl like and dressed quite regally, I recognized him as Stolis, rumor had it he did love daytime dramas so I guess I can’t be too surprised.

“Alastor, maybe I should go find Angel, just to check in on him.” It almost felt futile, of course I enjoyed Alastor’s company, and the feeling of his hand sent electric currents through my skin, but it also felt hopeless to think that he was thinking what I was thinking. Thinking about how he had looked so delightfully disheveled this morning, how he might look beneath his well tailored clothes, how the heat of his body might fully wash over mine, how his hand might feel elsewhere. It wouldn’t take more than a couple skilled movement to have me out of a dress like this and I was sure he was skilled. I nearly blushed at just the passing thought.

•

It took all the strength I had to not sink my claws into her. Why did she want to walk away so badly, I have been nothing but the perfect gentleman all evening and still she is not content. I flicked my eyes back down to hers, I could smell a faint scent of attraction from her, how sweet it smelled. Maybe I could use that to keep her close. Clearly she wanted some kind of attention tonight, I could give her a little taste. “Do I bore you? I apologize if meeting so many people was overwhelming, but it would have been rude not to.” I grinned, I allowed my hand to drop to the bottom of her back, just above her dress. “I appreciate your cooperation, truthfully,” I walked us forward and bent down ever so slightly so I could whisper into her ear. I could smell the perfume of her attraction better here, her back was stiff and I could see her chest rise and fall with every deep breath she was taking. “I don’t trust a single soul here to be alone with you, My Dear.” I said, my tone was soft but I couldn’t help the static creeping into my voice. It was true after all, none of them deserved to even lay eyes on her.

She looked up at me with sweet wide eyes, “Is that why, Alastor, you’ve kept me on such a short leash tonight?” She asked. Oh I would love to put her on a leash. “Afraid I might find a new overlord to pester?” She smiled at her own jab. “Don’t worry, I was just hoping to find a little bit of, y’know, company tonight.” Her face flushed softly and felt that pit in my stomach grow.

She wanted some disgusting demon to see her like that, to touch her like that. The idea made me sick, and more so my anger grew. The image of her sprawled out, eyes so innocent and inviting, her hair like the halo she deserved on the pillow beneath her, for someone else? I had to control my anger or before I could explain myself we would be back in the hotel, back in my room, and I needed to be here tonight unfortunately.

And that reason was walking towards us now as my smile widened I was keenly aware of my hand moving to grip Lilly’s waist instead to keep her even closer to me.

•

Alastor’s grip was strong, I followed his eyes to see what he was looking at, surely what I said hadn’t upset him like this. Then it made sense, Vox. While they have been throwing punches from afar via broadcast this is the first time they will have seen each other face to face since Alastor’s return. Vox was in the same suit he always wore, but it at least looked a little better pressed today.

“Alastor! Has anyone ever told you it’s rude not to greet the host.” Vox remarked as he walked into range. “I didn’t think we were inviting just anyone tonight?” He laughed, Alastor produced his invitation from his pocket again.

“Why, you personally signed it. There was a kiss and a heart on my invitation just like you always did.” Alastor remarked, flipping it over between his fingers to prove it, making Vox scowl slightly. I held in a giggle. His annoyed eyes landed on me and I suddenly wanted Alastor’s shadows to whisk me away from here. Work is one thing, I tolerate whatever abuse the other two Vs wish to throw my way as politely as I can to keep Velvette happy, but I’m not working now, and my back is against the chest of the soul Vox might just hate the most in all of hell. The other part of me wants to stand tall, who says I can even rely on Alastor for defense here, he’s so hot and cold with me. “And Vel’s pet, what a combination! I must say Velvette has only had the pettiest complaints tonight so that is as close as a job well down can be for her, congratulations!” Vox held out a hand for me to shake. I wanted to look at Alastor for approval or an excuse, I really wanted to not have to shake his hand, but I did. An acute ringing appeared in my ears.

“Thank you, Mr. Vox.” I said plainly. There was tension in the air between the two, but they both remained polite. It would cause too much of a scene for them to duke it out here in public. I felt the anger pooling in Alastor’s muscles as it felt like he was entirely still, not even feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed behind me anymore. I could feel his eyes bore into me, something I normally treasured, but now I couldn’t shake the animosity that was behind them even if that was not necessarily directed my way.

“I rather think red and black would have been a more flattering theme, but I guess blue is nice to some people.” Alastor quipped, adjusting his suit jacket proudly, Vox’s smile strained.

“It looks to me that someone prefers the blue.” Vox smirked and reached for the ribbon I wore around my neck, but before he could actually make contact Alastor moved us a step back. He held me with a force that threatened the delicate fabric of my dress.

“A gentleman would ask permission before reaching for a lady that way, and concede when she denies. Maybe you yourself are too modern for basic manners?” Alastor teased. His eyes burned bright red, contrasting his airy attitude and smile. I could feel his breath ticking the nape of my neck, under different circumstances I might let myself dwell on that feeling, I knew he was fired up. As bloodthirsty as Alastor may be, he has his values.

“You know I could introduce you to at least twenty demons here tonight who could show you a better time.” Vox couldn’t help but keep the irritation out of his voice as he stood with one hand on his hip, it almost sounded like a threat, I’m not sure if I wanted to know exactly what a good time entails for him. Vox played with Alastor’s protectiveness tonight. Ironically, here was someone who was basically offering me exactly what I claimed I wanted, but now that it’s in front of me and especially coming from him I had no interest. I was repulsed by the idea. I kept my back straight and tried to shake off Alastor’s grip a little, I don’t want to be intimidated by Vox right now. He doesn’t hold any direct power over me more than any other demon here. I’m sick of being pushed and pulled around so much.

“I’m plenty satisfied with my company. I’d like if you left us be now, I’m sure you can find time to taunt Alastor on any other day. We would like to enjoy the night.” I asserted. His plasma smile inverted. He looked like a petulant child being told play time was over.

“You’re welcome to reconsider, I’m sure Velvette would like-“

“Velvette does not care for my company, Mr. Vox.” I cut him off. I held back my shame thinking about her and forced myself to continue. “Goodnight, Sir.” He couldn’t hide his displeasure in my answer, clearly he had wanted to demean Alastor in some way by whisking away his date. He took two steps towards us, leaving just a foot of space in between. Baring his LED teeth he looked down at me.

“You ungrateful bi-”

“Be so kind as to let us get on with our evening wont you?” Alastor cut him off, static crackling off his words, he loomed behind me, his eyes practically begging Vox to push him further. He wouldn’t make the first move, but he wouldn’t step down once Vox did. Without looking past me Vox took a deep breath and straightened his tie returning to his dry smile.

“Enjoy the night. We’ll see you in the studio tomorrow.” Vox nodded in my direction with a glint in his eye. I stood in silence as he turned his back to us and rejoined the crowd.

I turned around to face Alastor. Part of me wanted to run away from here, be enveloped in his arms and just dissolve. Another part of me wanted his fingers to find somewhere else they could mercilessly sink into and to free me from my dress as we fell onto his bed. The part of me that won, however, was the part that looked at his angry eyes and smiled, requesting another drink. We could stay here if it meant he would keep holding onto me, if it meant he would continue to be just a step behind me no matter what, if it meant I was the center of his attention for a little bit longer. I knew I might have to pay for my disrespect in the morning, but that felt so far away at this moment. Right now I was safe, I was with Alastor, and that's all I wanted to think about. The ambient candle light danced in his eyes as he looked at me, and as much as he would hate to hear it, the contrast of the rich blue background only made his red hair and eyes look all that much more alluring.

He indulged my request and his grip on my waist was no longer lethal as he guided me to the closest bar in the event room. I ordered my drink and downed it to try to steady my head. Alastor gently hummed along to the band playing while leaning his back against the bar a little, he looked content and for a moment he almost looked like a regular person enjoying his night. If you wanted you could imagine him in life, whatever that had looked like, it was haunting.

“Alastor, would you dance with me?” I asked, unable to keep a smile off my face at his display. He stood up and took one of my hands in his and his grin grew as he gave me a small bow.

“Of course, My Dear, I’d be delighted.” He replied and we joined the dance floor not far away. I was, unfortunately, not a terribly skilled dancer, but Alastor led and I was able to follow. His arm snaked around my waist while the other kept my hand, my free hand rested on his shoulder. His eyes consumed me and I savored it. We had been close all night, but for the first time the proximity felt purposefully intimate. I nearly couldn’t bear the way he looked at me, half lidded eyes slowly raked over my figure before landing back on my own eyes. I wanted him to say something. Beside the fact that I was heavily focused on not tripping over my own feet, my heart raced and I’m not sure I could muster anything worth saying. This was the closest thing I could call a confirmation that he might be thinking what I’m thinking. Maybe he had been all night, maybe that was why he couldn’t let me out of his grip for more than thirty seconds. Or maybe he just liked putting on a show.

I was able to match his steps as we spun around the floor. He had a slightly softer smile playing on his lips. I hoped my nerves weren’t showing through in my smile, I felt like I had it under control, but as I held his gaze I wasn’t so sure my eyes were on my side. “You are a marvelous dancer, no need to worry, you are doing perfectly fine.” Alastor cooed, thinking that must be what’s caused my anxiety. I allowed myself I look past him for a moment to collect my thoughts. I wasn’t even an okay dancer, but it is sweet he would say so.

“I think you are the first dance partner of mine to say that. I stepped on many date’s toes unfortunately in life.” I admitted. Back in my dancing days I quickly fell down the rank of ladies at work to take out, I might be able to make you laugh but that’s about all I was good at on a date.

“Maybe the problem was more so with the partner.” Alastor said and twirled us around. “I seem to have no such problem.” He pulled me ever so slightly closer to him, my chest nearly against his. He was right, I hadn’t actually had much of a misstep at all. He was an excellent dance partner. He knew how to lead and to help me stay in time with him. Alastor gently guided my waist in the direction changes, or gave my hand a gentle squeeze. We were working in tandem quite gracefully.

The song came to an end and I wished it would last just a couple of minutes longer. Alastor released me and gave a slight bow, he was completely serious but I couldn’t help from giggling a little. Such a gentleman tonight. His hand returned to my shoulder blade and we melted into the crowd again. I thought about Alastor more, he is difficult, but it just makes me want more of him. I never know what I will get with him and as frustrating as it is it is also alluring. I pulled up the tops of my gloves a little, just to busy myself, as I caught my breath. I almost felt cold now without the heat of his body so close to mine, even though he was just a few inches further away than he had been it was enough for a chill to sweep through me. I hugged myself a little to compensate and blushed slightly when I realized how pronounced it made my chest. Almost immediately I felt a warm soft fabric cover my shoulders. I looked down at it as I pulled it closer to me and realized it was Alastor’s suit jacket before looking back at him.

“You looked cold, understandable given your attire, we wouldn’t want you to catch a chill now would we?” Alastor offered before I could even question him with a pleasant smile on his face. I smiled back.

“Thank you, though I paid good money for this dress, I ought to show it off. I don’t know when else I’ll ever get the excuse to.” I said and soothed the hem of my dress that just barely came down long enough. I moved to shake off the jacket, but his hand on my shoulder kept me from doing so.

His smile widened. “I think you look particularly lovely just like this!” His voice rang in my ears. Such a protective gentleman. I couldn’t help but to want to tease him.

I shrugged off his hand and his jacket, offering it back to him. “Please, Alastor, I insist.” He begrudgingly took it back and slipped the jacket back on, adjusting his cuffs. I looked up at him with shy eyes as I slowly traced my hands over my silhouette, seemingly to soothe my dress to anyone else. I watched as Alastor’s eyes followed my hands. “Thank you, I think I look rather nice, don’t you?” I asked sweetly. His eyes flicked back up to mine before I spun a little to give him a better look. His grip on his cane became tight. He looked at me like I was prey he was stalking in the forest, absolutely trained on me watching what I would do next. It burned into me and I loved it.

“You look very nice, My Dear. I think you know that.” He said, his voice was clipped, but not dangerous. I smiled. It was fun to get under his skin a little, especially given how he does it to me.

“Maybe, but I was just curious if you also thought so. You look quite handsome yourself, I rather like this suit on you.” I teased and adjusted his lapels a little. I could feel his breath again on the top of my head as I did so and when I looked at his eyes they were glowing a deep ruby color. His hand curled around my wrist, plucking it off of him. I could tell he was trying to decide exactly what to say, so I continued to press him. “Oh, does the touching only go one way? You’ve had your hands on me all night. I thought I might return the favor.” My heart was pounding in my chest as I looked at him. My vision darkened and for a moment all I could see was the glowing of his eyes and his crazed grin. When it lightened back up I knew I was back in the hotel, but in a room I had never seen before. My eyes found the forest that looked like it had been patched onto the room and I knew. This must be Alastor’s room.

The confidence I had held just seconds ago evaporated upon the realization. Alastor gently guided my chin so that my gaze was directed back at him. I knew my eyes were wide and my heart thudded against my ribs as I wasn’t sure if I should be terrified or thrilled, or both. His ears were flat against his head as his eyes drank me in one last time. “You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me tonight.” His voice came out low and no louder than a whisper. One of his arms wrapped around my waist like when we were dancing, but now his claws nearly pierced my skin through the delicate fabric of my dress. He held me close there, I had no answer.

Alastor used his other hand to slowly run the sharp edge of a claw along a path from my jaw, down my neck, over my shoulder, then across my back. My skin hissed at the sensation, it wasn’t even enough to truly break the skin but it sent shockwaves through my system. I stood perfectly still, I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing. I wanted him to just tell me, tell me if he craves me the way I crave him or not. I wanted more of his touch, but I was in no position to demand such a thing.

“As soon as I saw your little getup tonight,” He started to explain, deliberately fiddling with my dress’ fabric. “I wanted to whisk you up here, keep you away from any other soul who might see you in such a state.” I felt my face growing increasingly warm as he combed his free hand through my hair. “I didn’t think they deserved such a sight, but I didn’t want to upset you, My Dear, so I settled for keeping a close watch over you.” I melted into his touch as he held my cheek in his hand while he spoke. “I restrained myself then, but you have pushed me too far.” Alastor leaned his head in closer to mine, until our foreheads almost touched. His eyes were still a glowing deep red. “I’ll tell you a secret. All night I have been able to smell the lust pouring out of you, and right now is the strongest it’s ever been. You smell so sweet.” his neck dips even lower and his lips threaten to brush against my neck, the promise of sweet kisses tantalizing close. I could hear the sound of my blood pumping through my veins, I was hyper aware of every inch of my body that Alastor was touching, my muscles screamed for me to do something. Either run away or grab him and never let him go, waiting was torture. “You have to go.”

My mind raced. Alastor wanted me to leave? We were still tangled together, he made no real move to let me leave. My body ached for more of his touch, I desperately wanted more. I didn’t want to leave this moment. “Please, let me stay.” I begged, my voice breathy almost as if I was gasping for air. I didn’t need air, I needed Alastor. He slowly straightened back up and released his grasp on my waist. My skin hissed at the lack of his heat, the dewy scent of him retreating as he took a step back. He did not raise his eyes to meet mine though, instead his voice was low and gravely, charged with static and energy as he commanded me again.

“Leave.” It was not a question. I held myself back from arguing with him and backed away towards the door behind me. His shadows pooled around him on the floor. Some seemed to deliberately run in my direction as if to grab me and pull me back but any time one headed my way another would smack it back. I watched Alastor while my back was still waiting to find the wall. He was not his normal composed self, no this was raw. He almost looked ashamed, yet angry, searching for something to take that out on. I would pray for whatever creature he takes that out on if I thought it would help. The heavy rise and fall of his chest gave away just how agitated he had become.

Finally my back pressed against the wall while my hand began to search for the doorknob. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t speak, I could barely move. Did I do something wrong? Can I fix it? I don’t want to push him too hard, but it gnawed on me, if I’d caused this outburst I want to make it right. I opened my mouth to call out his name, but before the first letter could fully form a shadow shot out to me, wrapping itself around my throat and jaw. I froze, I’ve been in the position before and did not want to make him more angry. Alastor slowly turned towards me, his breathing was labored and as he lifted his head I could see a gruesome grin on his face.

“I. Said. Out.”

I was forced backwards by the force of his shadow and only was able to disconcert the sound of his door slamming back shut as I realized I was now on the other side of it. I had fallen back from the force and found myself just staring up at his door. I suddenly felt small and alone here. Just a minute ago I had been the center of Alastor’s universe as we danced and now I was thrown aside and shut out. I wracked my brain for what had set him off so terribly.

I remembered his words, he had confessed to being attracted to me, and knowing I was attracted to him, it felt humiliating. I had felt so exposed and vulnerable in that moment, he hadn’t technically rejected me, but it sure felt like he had. My confidence had crashed. I wanted to curl up and die. I also wanted to march back in Alastor’s room and scream at him for making me feel this way, for building me up just to crush me in the end. Hot tears stung the corners of my eyes, but I forced them away. I don’t want to break down, instead I redirected the energy. You want me to leave? I’ll leave alright.

I slowly pulled myself back up and dusted off my dress, fixing myself and taking a long deep breath for comfort.. I cast one last hurt glance back at Alastor’s door and headed downstairs.

Shame, humiliation, and confusion swirled in my mind, perhaps distorting my decision making capabilities. I debated my next move, but I wasn’t in the headspace to think wisely. My feet carried me forward as if the speed of my steps could out pace these feelings. Soon my heels were clicking down the grand staircase outside the front door while my nails dug into my palm, my gloves didn’t protect me. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was walking, but I eventually found myself down an all too familiar path.

I could see the massive glowing light of the Vs’ studio signage even though I was still a solid mile away. It was as daunting as it always was, the blue neon looked like a bruise on the hellish red sky. It was fitting. The place that I looked forward to leaving everyday was suddenly a constant I could cling onto. I knew exactly where I stood here, I knew what to expect, what to do, how to act, who to be. I was thankful for that role, thankful for the rock it gave me to sink my nails into in order to hold onto something, anything, that made me feel better. Here I didn’t have to be myself and everything that entailed, I could simply be Velvette’s errandgirl, someone who did not care what that deer demon was doing back at the hotel right now. Someone who didn’t dwell on whether or not she would be able to bring herself to look into his deep ruby eyes the next time they met. Someone who didn’t miss the way he looked at her back in the ballroom with a playful possessiveness as the candle light danced behind them. No. I would be too busy for any of that.

I straightened out my back when the building came into focus drawing on a polite shy smile.

Quietly, I rejoined the event space. The party had of course continued in my absence, none the wiser to my personal angst. I cast my eyes about the room in search of Angel, unlikely as it was I couldn’t help myself. A friendly face would be nice right now, but no such luck. So I took a step forward, ever still conscious of my looks and of the crowd, and made my way back towards the bar. Alone this time, but the night was just beginning.

Part Five

Tags: @cannibalcoyote

[thebearer]

This anon has haunted me, but at lips apology, if he tries to propose bc “it’s the right thing to do” for you and the baby. He doesn’t want the responsibility but deep down he wants to have that responsibility bc always wanted to be a dad and husbands but scared

here's my thought on it.

he does it bc it's the "right thing to do" like it's just what you do, in his opinion. he doesn't want to be a bum who knocks someone up and doesn't marry them (his jaded opinion), but he also does love you and is sick at the idea of someone else being in yours and the baby's life that's not him. he's just fucked in the head really by this.

when you say no he's floored.

"wha-what do you mean? no?"

"no." you shake your head. "you don't really want to marry me."

"the fuck are you- i wanna fuckin' marry you, alright? i bought this fuckin' ring-"

"-you bought me a ring because i'm pregnant with your kid." you snap. "not because you want to marry me. not because you're in love with me."

lip is flustered bc... i mean, you're not wrong. you're not all the way right, but you're definitely not wrong.

"when you want to marry me because you want to marry me, and not because of the baby, then i'll think about it." you look down at the small diamond ring. "but i also wouldn't marry you right now, anyways, because i'm still not over all that shit you said."

"jesus, i told you i was sorry." lip sighs, closing his fist around the ring. "and-and ian is gettin' me in with his shrink to-to work this shit out like you said-"

"-and that's great, and i'm very proud of you." you say sincerely. his heart swells at the praise. "but that doesn't take back what you did."

lip feels like he could scream. furious at himself. "you wanna make it up to me? prove to me your sorry. prove to me you didn't mean what you said, and you're gonna be a good dad." you look down at his closed fist with the ring inside. "show me why i should marry you, because right now... i don't want to."

it's mean. it's cruel. it's harsh. but it's exactly what lip needed to hear. he worked double time, swallowing his pride and going to the "damn shrink" to figure out why he had control issues, why he coped the way he did (shocker: the majority of it was neglect from his parents, i know we're allllll surprised). he worked hard to prove that he wanted to be there for you, for the baby, and he did. he really did.

and he worked even harder to treat you the way you deserved. to show you that he loved you, and he really did. he spoiled you, the ways he could. home-cooked meals in your tiny apartment, baby proofing it, going to your birthing classes and every appointment. he would take you out on dates- real dates. hold your hand in the grocery, sweet kisses in the kitchen, let you use him as your own personal pregnancy pillow at night (when he finally got to sleep back in the bed with you).

lip was a good dad. you knew he would be. you knew from the moment the doctor told you it was a boy, his eyes shining with tears he refused to shed. something flipped in him. he'd been trying hard regardless but then, it felt real for both of you. lip didn't want to be frank, nothing like him. he upped his meetings with his sponsor, with his counselor and shrink. lip worked hard to unlearn years of trauma, to be better for freddie- be better for you. he slipped sometimes, always extra hard on himself when he did, but he was a good dad.

so when he asked you, when freddie was two and you'd grown together in every way- as parents and as a couple. you said yes. you knew he wanted to marry you for you. he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he told you that, rambled words while he was on one knee in front of you. you were glad you didn't accept his proposal the first time, truly, because it wouldn't have been nearly as great as this one. it was well worth the wait.

[elposting]

SAW THE BOOK OF MORMON ON TOUR LAST NIGHT IN PHILLY!!!

little debrief/review post 😛

Bought these tickets for $30 right after i saw it on west end, was originally going to take my brother but he didn’t want to go so i brought my friend lol (thanks anna i hope you had a good time 😋)

bought the enamel pin set! its now on my updated TBOM/matt stone trey parker shrine lol. I wanted to buy a shirt for when I go in January but they were all so expensive!! does anyone have any like shirts on etsy or redbubble recommendations?

Anyway rest of post below cut! Some photos and videos as always!

- The show was still fantastic as always but I definitely did not have as good a time as i did on west end- my seats were allllll the way back

I kinda felt like i was dreaming through the show, i had to squint to see and the seats were so small and everyone around me smelled like alcohol 😭

- The highlight of the show was absolutely Diego Enrico as elder cunningham. He was so good and so so so fun to watch and he is so cute lol

- i felt like the only characters I could connect to were cunningham, nabulungi, and the doctor/gotswana for some reason?? like they were the only characters that i was really really excited to watch

I know price is the leading man but i feel like I barely saw him- idk if I just was zoning out when he was on stage, he was still amazing, I just felt like this watch around he was more of an accessory to cunningham and his arc than his own independent thing. His most memorable moment in the show for me was end of i believe and his part in I am Africa (and anna’s reaction to that was priceless her mouth was wide open 😭) also the intro to and all of smhd

Also- mckinley- he is usually like one of if not my favorite character and i BARELY got to see him I was trying so hard to pay attention and stay invested but like i was not getting anything i could barely see him 😭 for some reason he did not feel like a main character at all in this performance and I have no idea why (maybe because i was so far away?) i was so sad about it lol- craig was wonderful though and his voice is heavenly and it was not his performance at all

- in the mission hut, instead of the couch, there was just a bunch of old office chairs?? did they change the set or is it just for the touring productions?

- the little golden moroni at the top of the stage didn’t move :(

- on occasion they had the lights go out into the audience and it was really cool/pretty

- fun overhead spotlights!! people who were doing handheld face on spotlights sometimes forgot to turn them on though so sometimes people would just be like… half in the dark

- being so high up i got to see a lot of the blocking and formation I hadn’t seen before, that was really cool. The dances looked great from so up high!! There were even parts of the show I didn’t even know there was dancing I finally got to see so that was cool

- the villagers were the other highlight of this. They were so fun to watch and so funny and I loved them so much. JSAM I think was my favorite part of the show it was so great

- sam (elder price) was like just a tiny tiny bit flat at some parts on occasion? I feel bad for saying this lol. he sounded fantastic most of the time though! His acting and dancing were flawless though, I loved watching him in AAP and SMHD specifically

- there was no mcpriceley in this like AT ALL and I missed the mcpriceley almost kiss AGAIN erghhhh idk how it keeps happening 😭

they were leaning into pricingham a lot and at the end price picked him up and like twirled him around it was really cute lol

- felt like the arnaba chemistry was more platonic than romantic but idk 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

OKOK stage door!!

This was the best part of this whole thing everyone was so nice and I had so much fun

I gave out the tbom themed friendship bracelets I made and they all really liked them 😋😋

they were like all surprised to get them too lol 😭

Me and my BESTIE 💜 diego ENRICO 💜

and me and pookie sam mclellan 😭 I accidentally got sharpie on his hand and flannel I felt so bad

i keep embarrassing myself in front of elder mckinelys bc i gave my orlando bracelet to craig (i was giving them out at random and at that point i wasn’t sure if sam was coming out) and i was like “look it has the fancy charms!” this man just blank stares at me and is like “😀 wow!! 😀 ill take this to orlando with me when we go there in a few weeks! 😀” and then i was like “cool!! some of my friends are going to see you guys in orlando!” and he continues to stare blankly and smile at me until i asked him for a picture. i was dying. pj when i come to new york i promise i will try to have a normal conversation with you 🩷

and ill reblog this with some more pics bc i reached the limit lol

stage dooring was my favorite part, and i am SOOOOO excited for January!!! 😋😋

[respectthepetty]

I'm gracing you inbox again, Pet, because I saw colours and of course thought of you...

Ploy's Yearbook finished this week and whilst I don't think it was necessarily colour-coded (there are a lot of characters and I didn't put much effort into tracking visual patterns) I wanted to share this moment of deliciousness at the end:

Do you see it? I'm sure you see it... (the blinding light of yellow love and the deep purple and the piiiiiiink 😍).

Anyway, the series was a generally okay het offering which mostly showed that the women at GMMTV need more opportunities to shine. But what it did do very well was the period representation (like, actual talk of bleeding), Joong looking like a whole-ass meal in the last scene (seriously, I think you'll want to go see that, it's a bit too blurry to screenshot), and the woman popping the question for once! (oops 🤭 spoilers, I guess).

#I wish there was a way of adding tags to an ask #so that I could leave a sort of post script ramble #maybe this will have to do #there isn't really any point to this ask #just that I wanted to say hi and that I thought of you #💛💙

*warning* This is going to turn into a

Cupid's Last Wish Appreciation Post

"Do you see it? I'm sure you see it…"

I thought twice about using the above image because it comes across a bit hostile, but any chance I get to insert a Big Dragon moment into the conversation, I'm taking it! Also . . .

Hopefully, we ALLLLLL see that pink = 💕love💕even when it's for the het couple (when the only het couple I've ever cheered for was this one, which oddly enough, also included Namtan).

So maybe I'm just really rooting for Namtan and the other ladies because I'm already seated for her and Film to hit me with that Blinding Light of Love in Pluto.

You already know that I agree with you that GMMTV underutilizes its women, but since I gave Namtan some love, let me turn to Earth while I give some love to Cupid's Last Wish for having good period-rep as Korn clutched every kind of tampon and pad

For his body-swapping not-yet-boyfriend!

And not only did the man buy all the pads and tampons, he bought pain relievers and chocolate based on the staff's recommendations. THEN, he gave his guy a warm water bottle to help with his cramps and held him all night!

And that as AFTER he hugged his man when he was having a breakdown about his body betraying him.

Not only did Korn exhibit the highest level of emotional intelligence every second of that show, in this specific moment, he stopped the vehicle, asked Win what was wrong, and actually took in what Win was saying without dismissing it. Then, he got out of the car, went around to hug Win properly, apologized, and waited until Win hugged him back.

I have my grudges against this show (THAT DAMN MOTHER!!!!!), but Korn was the greenest of all green flags and the way he handled his future boyfriend's period should be held up as the standard.

But one of the writers of the show was Pong who also wrote the screenplay for Cooking Crush and Only Boo! which are two shows I think epitomize care and comfort between partners.

So now that I've gone on a tangent about partners actively taking care of each other, I hope you are enjoying seeing your flowers growing and not stressing too much over things beyond your control. I also want to let you know that I thought of you when I realized Domundi played me and instead of giving me a Pink Person in Your Sky, gave me a Yellow Yal, so I'm getting another Blue x Yellow pair.

But for some *reason*, I'm less petty about it.

I hope you find comfort in that. 💙💛

[punkshort]

Hey, shortie! Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a one-shot from TWWW about Joel, the reader, Tommy, and Maria meeting some people in a cabin? There was this creepy guy who was flirting with the reader, but she thought she was just being paranoid. Then, he came onto her when she went to the bathroom, and Joel ended up beating him up. Or was that in one of the chapters? Or am I totally confused and just made the whole thing up? Lol

Oh, and sorry if I sent this twice! When I sent it earlier, my Wi-Fi cut out right as I hit send, and Tumblr showed me an error message. I just got my connection back, so I’m really sorry if I bugged you by sending it twice. If it did come through before—love ya!

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your writing, and I hope you have a fantastic week ahead. You're an amazing writer—thank you for creating such incredible stories! 🫶🏻💐❤️

Hi, there, thank you so much for such kind words! No, I only got your ask once, but no worries either way, it's never a bother ❤️

And yes, you were right, there is a one-shot fitting that description! All the one-shots are listed allllll the way at the bottom of the masterlist. The one you're thinking of is called All Yours. Enjoy!

[murfeelee]

Witcher Season 3 (AKA The "Final" Season 🤣😂)

Alright y'all, back at it again with my 3rd Witcher tv show "review" or whatever. S1 | S2

Disclosure: I already told y'all that I've made peace with this being the Yennefer Show, and that I'll keep watching when Liam Hensworth plays Geralt in S4, because this show ain't been about Geralt or witchers anyway--it's about the mages, obviously. Like, I don't blame Cavill for leaving, cuz if I had to play second fiddle to Yenn when I'M the titular MC, but I don't have ANY scenes, ZERO speaking lines, and NOTHING to do in my own show, then yeah I'd quit too! So I'm not gonna complain about what I WISH this show was--it will NEVER be the books or the games (definitely not Game of Thrones). Missed opportunity.

All that being said, unpopular opinion, but IMO Season 3 kinda slapped? The 2nd "volume"/part was the best BY FAR, but I genuinely liked the vast majority of the episodes. I give S3 a 9.5/10, because I actually have very few complaints about this season overall, I'm shocked. (EDIT: I have DEEProoted suspicions about a lot of naysayers/hatewatchers who say the show's "unwatchable," just because it's got a multicultural cast/"agenda"--sounds like racism to me.)

THE GOOD

The MAIN PLOT actually went somewhere!!!! A wild Vilgefortz appears! ^0^ He beat the DOG SNOT outta Geralt, YIKES! XD

One of my biggest gripes about S1 was that the show didn't focus nearly enough on THE BIG BAD, Vilgefortz. Cahir got SO MUCH screentime doing literally NOTHING for 2 whole seasons, meanwhile the rest of Geralt's Hanse was NOWHERE to be seen, and Vilgefortz was just sitting in the cut looking pretty, like wtf?

And Season 2 was barely any better!

But yeah, S3 FINALLY gave us Vilgefortz's dastardly behavior I'd been waiting for. He effed everybody up at Thanned, as I expected--that's my special evil boy! <3 (Now that Ciri jacked half his face up I'm very sad--that man is absolutely splendid to look at. A moment of silence for the eye candy, it will be missed. U_U)

THANNED. ^0^ Hoooooooly god this was great, even better than Sodden in S1. Episode 6 is the best episode in S3--such a great battle; people were dying left and right. And MAMA TISS!!!!! She went OFF! O_O

It was so sad, but ofc this was all gonna happen--they had Tissaia allllll the way up Vilgefortz's butt, so OF COURSE she was going to be crushed when he INEVITABLY betrayed her. (I don't blame you though, girl, cuz he's SO DANG PRETTY! I'd be crushed, too!) But at least Mama Tissaia got that body count up during the battle--SLAY! The way Filavandrel was just.... 🤯

Speaking of the elves, Francesca and Fringilla were put on the backburner (after dang near dominating S2); but I like the way their arcs ended, even though I felt bad for them. Very good scenes; the mages & their arcs are the very best parts of the show, as usual.

LODGE OF SORCERESSES RISE! ^0^ Dijikstra & Philippa. 😍

These freaks--I LOVE them, your honor! 😅 I was so hyped to see Geralt break Djikstra's leg, but Philippa had me ROLLING when she was like "well, it's a good thing you like pain"--I DIED! XD These kinky mofos! They're hands down one of the best parts of the whole show--I LOVE how sinister Philippa is (her bird feathers are such a great touch--whoever was in charge of her costumes & HAIR 👌), and what a simp Dijkstra is for her. It makes me so sad to know how things go for them in the video game--I sided with Dijikstra to kill Radovid, and was so hurt when he went after Thaler & Roche. But....yeah, I did pick the option to break his other leg, so....oops? XD

So yes, I'm excited to see where this show goes with Philippa and Vilgefortz; how their schemes line up (or not) with Emhyr and the Fake Ciri; and how that effects the REAL Ciri and how she eventually ends up under Avallach (I hope we get to see him on the show!).

Speaking of Ciri, we FIIIIINALLY got to see some domestic Geralt, Yenn & Ciri--even if they are on the run from assassins; and Geralt's iced Yenn out cuz she tried to sacrifice Ciri to Voleth Mier back in S2. A lot of the fandom HATED that they made S2 Yenn betray them, but I think S3 did an alright job of not retconning her, per se, but patching things up. Cuz it's NOT a good look to have your (REAL) main character (LOL) hated by the fandom for betraying her own "daughter." So was the domesticity hamfisted? YES. But was it necessary? GOD yes, otherwise what's the point of showing The Last Wish? They're supposed to be a FAMILY, so for god's sake start giving them scenes to actually SHOW us that--stfu about "destiny"!

Probably another unpopular opinion, but I liked Episode 7 with the unicorn. These are the kinds of adventures Ciri NEEDED in S1, running around some stupid empty forests doing NOTHING is different from learning how to survive on her own in a strange wilderness, encountering strange creatures, and tapping into the good AND bad sides of her magic.

And oooooh my god, the GOAT has returned.

A lot of...hrm...interesting conversations were had as Ciri was hallucinating in the desert, with love of my life Grandmama Calanthe, as well as Pavetta & Falka. It's a shame that Ciri didn't get this kind of development MUCH earlier in the series. Too little too late? We'll have to see where Ciri's plot goes with the Rats in S4 to find out if her new whole Chaos/Fire magic arc is worth it.

AT LONG EFFING LAST, we're getting some HANSE ACTION!!!

I've been SO EFFING SICK of Cahir. I'm glad Ciri finally got closure with him from SEASON ONE, and that he's FINALLY in the Hanse now--took y'all long enough, ffs! And Milva's interesting so far, so I'm glad to see her around, giving Geralt & Dandelion grief. So in S4 all we need now is Angie, and YA BOI!!! ^0^

THE BAD

I wish Mistle and the Rats were better established--the whole Wyvern thing wasn't done very well or made much sense, and Mistle & Ciri should've had WAY more scenes. I wasn't feeling any chemistry between them, which is annoying, since Ciri's a lesbian in my TW3 game--is the show gonna go with hetero Ciri instead? Or is her love of Mistle gonna be what pulls Ciri out of the Fire/Chaos dark arc they're teasing for S4? 👀

What's annoying is that we already had a Dark!Ciri arc in S2 though, and EVERYONE hated it. We see Yenn reconcile betraying Ciri, but where's Ciri reconciliation for slaughtering all those witchers at Kaer Morhen? 😡 First she's possessed by Voleth Mier, now she's possessed by Falka? This show's great at focusing on Yenn & the mages, but leaves Ciri in the same ditch over & over--it's irritating.

Ep5 was a LAME way to end the first half/"volume," I hated that episode. The whole ball just bored me, with the dancing and singing--I get it--"all is not *clap clap* as it seems," stfu already. I didn't care. It was OBVIOUS Stregebor was being framed; WTF was that mop on Istredd's head; WHY was Triss the only one with a braincell who cared that students were going missing when apparently the school's SO strict; why don't these mages start TELEPORTING for once, and stop running around SLOW AF; how the HECK did y'all let HUMAN Dijkstra jump a WHOLE SCHOOL OF MAGES--this is an utter embarrassment. Usually the mages are the only thing this show gets RIGHT, so to see them all faceplant like this was just baffling & frustrating.

And again with the monoliths--how do y'all NOT KNOW these things are here!? Same with the one hidden in Kaer Morhen, like REALLY? NO ONE's medallion is going off? Omg. Istredd! You STUDY these things! Start TEACHING these drunk AF mages a thing or two--this is why Vilgefortz and Dijikstra wiped the floor with y'all on your own turf! 🤦

THE UGLY

The pacing was SLOW AF. Episodes 3-5 particularly dragged.

Everything with Cahir I wish was in S2 instead. That elf was GORGEOUS and I hated to see him go, but what was the point of all that again? I almost expected him & Cahir to start banging! (My perv brain; I need help, y'all. U_U)

Speaking of!

ALLLLLLL this mess about Dandelion & Radovid.

What "ripple effects"? XD It was UNNECESSARY. We all know Radovid's a disgusting genocidal racist psychopath and Dandelion's a womanizing old man--I'm not interested in seeing Radovid going through all this effort to seduce Dandelion, just to DOUBLE CROSS him to get to Ciri, like wtF? TBH, I feel like we were queerbaited, yeah I said it. 😤

And it's SO unfair how we have alllll these sex scenes with naked women's vajayjays & boobs all over the place--even Philippa got in on the action, hey hey hey! ;) --but we never get to see man-on-man action!? Wow, they kissed, SO WHAT!? Men never get full frontal nudity and it ticks me off, cuz naked women are just all over TV, meanwhile the dudes don't show SQUAT, and it's happened AGAIN.

Anyways, those are my only real complaints; otherwise I liked S3, it was much better than S2 IMO. Just don't expect too much--turn your brain off, and accept that this show doesn't gaf about Geralt (or even Ciri really) whatsoever. I'm here for Yennefer, Vilgefortz, and to see the Lodge of Sorceresses make themselves an absolute menace under Philippa so that Radovid literally flips his wig (that horrible weave MUST go in S4) and effs everything up for mages & non-humans.

[i-am-beckyu]

AHHHH IM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THE CONCERT IM SO JEALOUS BUT REALLY HAPPY FOR YOUUU!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY! totally deserved, i hope you had a good birthday season :D <3 <3

also happy halloween! trick or treat? :3

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU IT WAS FLIPPEN AMAZING AND JUST MY GOSH I SO WANNA GO AGAIN! WAS AN AMAZING NIGHT!!!!! HALF ALIVE IN CONCERT IS A MUST SEE!!!!

and now I'm gonna ramble about it in full under the cut :3

Okay okay okay so like the whole thing was just wonderful and considering the last music concert I saw live was when I was like 9, this was a HUGE experience!

So like I went with my dad (cause obviously he is my best choice lol) and I kinda know how he'll be late and all the rest if you say it starts at a certain time. So obviously I told him the concert started at 7:30pm, when in reality the doors opened at 7:30pm.

If there is one thing you should 100% do when going to a concert it is get there early cause we arrived at like 6:45pm and by the time the doors opened we were in the front 1/4 of the line that stretched ALLLLLL the way down the street. And I don't know if this happens at other places, but like I got this cool smiley face stamp to go in but other people got like the wrist band so I don't know what that really meant but it was cool regardless lol.

But anyways, cause we were so early, we got in before it got super packed so I had a choice of where I wanted to be cause the whole place was a mosh pit basically. BUT! There was this little upstairs loft bit that you could watch from the balcony and it had seating!!!

Now tbh I love my dad but I didn't want to go stand in the mosh pit the whole night by myself and knew he was just gonna sit at the back cause he had no idea who Half Alive was but I wanted to be with him.

So I absolutely SCORED when we got two chairs in the balcony bit, right in the middle!! This lady was sitting in a seat with one next to her free and it turned out she was the manager of the band opening the show which was so cool to meet and chat with her and she said she wasn't staying and gave us her seat and the spare one. Bless her TwT.

I got to sit the whole night without my legs getting sore, had THE best viewing spot with no one in front of me AND could get pics and vids without having to worry about the video cause it just balanced on the balcony bit so I could enjoy the show too!

Like yes I know I could have been in the mosh pit, but for me it was so much better to be where I was cause I got to share the moment with my Dad! (who had ear plugs in the whole time from all the screaming fans lol but he thoroughly enjoyed the night even tho he had no idea what to expect)

And now of course the actual performance

OH MY GOSH IT WAS CRAZY! HALF ALIVE IN PERSON IS JUST AN ABSOLUTE AMAZING EXPERIENCE AND I SO WISH I HAD GOTTEN THE VIP TREATMENT LIKE MAN I LOVED IT!!!!

Like you know how sometimes seeing bands live vs their music sounds different cause of like auto tune and stuff like that? WELL THERE WAS NONE OF THAT HERE! IT WAS ALL RAW VOCALS AND JUST MIND BLOWING!!! I AM SOOOOOOO HAPPY I HAVE THE CLIPS AND BITS THAT I DO CAUSE LIKE AHHHHHH I AM IN LOVE WITH IT!!!

They didn't perform every song obviously but like there were bits and pieces of sings in some bits and like the way they performed each number and getting ready in between was flawless. Like it all flowed seamlessly into the next song and just AHH THEY ARE PROFESSIONALS I ADORE I ADORE I ADORE!!! And I loved that while this was their conditions of a Punk tour, we still got to hear older songs like Still Feel and Creature live too. (I would have died if they didn't perform creature I swear and it was the last song of the night and I just felt so happy hearing my fav song ever live. It was such a special moment)

And then my gosh if you've seen like the clips they've shared of the performances like nah man. They don't hold up to actually being there. The dancers were flippen INSANE!!!! Like just yessssssss! They absolutely slayed and it looked like they were having so much fun! It was awesome!!!!!

Oh and at one stage of the night (cause in perfect aussie fashion) we did our usual chant of Aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi and it was so funny seeing their faces cause they had no idea what was going on lol. I loved it.

Now if you follow half alive you'll also notice in their posts that none of them were wearing any shoes that night and you're probably wondering why. Answer: The theatre just said no with the dancers having any shoes cause the stage was carpeted. Do I understand this? Nope. But it happened lol. So we got socked feet all night.

Now of course I also got merch :3 And this is where that stamp thingy comes into play cause like at the start, being up stairs a guy came and called us and said: Who wants merch and then ushered us all down to get merch lol. I skipped such a long line I felt a lil bad but like: I got here early and I was lucky lol. So now I have a very expensive tshirt, but I love it lol. Did I take a pic of it? NOPE! I forgot lol but I can always share it later <3

I'm pretty sure a whole lot of other stuff also happened but this post is already pretty long lol. Overall you can tell I had an amazing time and I highly recommend to anyone to go see your fav bands live if you can cause it is such a special experience and you won't regret it. Being able to see Half Alive is easily one of my top fav experiences of all time so yes. I had a great time <3

[kiwipineappleparasol]

TTYD remake Rambling -- Stuff up until the end of Chapter 2 talked about here

The TTYD remake has so much attention to detail put into it it's crazy… Like, there's the big things to improve the general experience for both newcomers and returning players; the Partner Ring and the new pipe system are much more convenient so far. And the battle tutor toad is great for practicing those tricky Stylish Moves with alot more precision than just going off Eddy's well meaning but ultimately still vague advice, considering some of these timing windows are crazy fast. Or the new partner hint system! I never really got stuck in these games, but I know that it's just a much better mechanic than going allllll the way back to have your future path read if it's something you need. Plus, I love any new dialogue for my little friends, even if they're ordering me about haha.

The layout for everything is so slick now too! And I love the fact you can unlock art and music in the menu by collecting Shine Sprites and Star Pieces -- while already useful in-game, it's just extra incentive to get them. Especially star pieces -- I really wanted to collect them in all these different areas and see the art! And it was sooooo worth it. Concept art for not only the remake, but for the original too. Stuff I've never seen before! Makes me wonder if they got it released just for this remake, yaknow? Just really cool to look through.

I love all the little things too. The new animations of course are obvious, I adore those -- they really add to the personality of the characters. But I also love stuff like how everything in the environment reacts to you, how instead of shaking bushes you crush them, being able to whack literally everyone over the head brings Such Joy …

I think Zess T uses unique cooking utensils for each recipe, which I don't believe was in the original? I think that's so cool ! Like this attention to detail is what I'm talking about. This was a completely frivolous change, but they did it anyways -- and that to me, shows the care put into this.

(Unrelated, but the animation of Mario getting trapped in the bubble in the Boggly Tree is sooooo silly… Pretty sure that was in the original but still. I enjoy Flurrie's personality too -- I never really appreciated it as a kid because I wasn't a fan of her design so I never used her. It's still definitely not my favorite haha, but I could appreciate her more now.)

Also the way they changed the dialogue about the Shadows -- I didn't want to just believe wholeheartedly that they would change the translation, but they actually did here! They didn't do a direct translation of the original Japanese version from my understanding -- opting for Beldam's transphobia to be in how she disregards the sister label but gives a very flimsy excuse for it, when it's obviously out of cruelty -- instead of outright misgendering. But Vivian saying that she just likes it when she's called their sister made me so sad… Vivian you deserve better!!! Another great thing about the new changes: you can whack Beldam over the head all you want in the overworld!

I still can't believe we're in a world where a remake with such care put into it exists for a game I thought would never be ported, let alone treated with such love. And even changing the English Translation regarding Vivian's character? I never in a hundred lifetimes would believe that would happen! It's honestly quite surreal for me.

This feels like such a love letter to the fans of this game, like an early birthday present delivered right to my door. It's honestly hard to describe how much fun I'm having with it and everything I enjoy about it -- I just wanna keep playing, haha. Chapter 3 is when I remember getting really invested in this game as a kid, for various reasons -- so we'll see if I come back for another Ramble then.

Bonus: the scene that my mom kept calling “Flurrie knocking over Mario with her boobs” And wouldn’t stop laughing about

[josephinekhawaja]

I mean, Katee Sackhoff is a natural blonde, and Heidi Klum's Sia wig in this is Bo-Katan length, so maybe if I just squint a bit... (Though important side note, but KS's curves in her Mandalorian armour this episode gave me the fabled Bisexual Panic⌛⏳.) I loved this song when it was first released, and attached it so indelibly to an MCU ship at the time, that I have since abandoned because the show let me down, I never bothered to try to apply it to anybody else. But I was re-watching this recently given our leading man. Lyrically of course, it does not really apply to Din-Katan unless if ever they become an actual romantic, passionate ship. (I think I have misinterpreted this song all these years and thought it descriptive of a tempestuous relationship, given all our connotations with fire...but it is honestly very sweet? Ironically parallel to how my expectations of Din x Bo-Katan dynamic have been subverted two episodes in.) ...which is currently not canon, and we need to manage expectations with that.

But in light of Chapter 18, just kept getting stuck on the line I got all I need when you came after me.🥺🥺 And I suppose, in a way, Din could be the gasoline to Bo-Katan's obvious fire, as inspiration to her towards hope and redemption. (...at least to me, Star Wars has always been a galaxy for second chances; even after how long an interval.) And a lot of the fire imagery and desolation in the lyrics make me think of their homeworld (technically...Mandalore did burn). Especially in the bridge, the determination of Din to complete his pilgrimage at the risk of toxicity. The dude does not seem to know how to back down. Now imagine if that same energy could be applied to other, non-culty areas of his personal life -- but anyway.

But it's a bad bet, certain death But I want what I want and I gotta get it When the fire dies, darkened skies Hot ash, dead match, only smoke is left It's a bad bet, certain death But I want what I want and I gotta get it When the fire dies, darkened skies Hot ash, dead match, only smoke is left

That being said, if it turns out the second episode is an outlier of the season in terms of shippy feels -- this is all a pretty thinly-veiled excuse to grace this small shipping fandom with some classic Pedro Pascal thirst. We could allllll use the throwback, every day☀️🌞.

[phoenixonwheels]

Laughingcrying here anyway on my second visit to my infectious disease specialist as he was pulling out my blood test results I was like “At least I have a good immune system!” And I knew I had a good immune system because throughout my life when everyone around me was getting sick I was not! Clearly I have a fantastic immune system, right?

My infectious disease specialist just got this look on his face like “you sweet summer child” and then laid out the results of my blood tests showing 1) my primary immune deficiency and 2) allllll the chronic (permanent) viruses I’ve collected.

And he said “It’s not that you’re not getting sick. It’s that you’re not mounting an immune response. Everyone around you that’s ‘getting sick’ is mounting an immune response. You aren’t.”

Every time I went in to see him after that (pre-covid, back when I could actually access medical care) one of his main questions would be how many times since my last visit my partner had gotten sick and I hadn’t. Because that was one way of estimating how many new chronic infections I had picked up.

Anyway all y’all “I’m taking zero precautions but I haven’t had Covid since 2022!” and “Covid is a breeze I barely got sick the last three times!” people are in for a big shock…

[stitchlingbelle]

Watching Avatar, Part 8

Wow, this was a thrillride! I'm glad I'm watching this on DVD because waiting through the season break on this must have been excruciating.

16. "Appa's Lost Days": APPA WE MISSED YOU! Also, man, this episode was unexpectedly brutal. I was expecting a little more "wacky hijinks that sent Appa all over the place" and a little less animal cruelty and tragedy. Thrilled to see Suki for a hot second until WTF, did they actually kill her off? There's no way, right? Azula and co continue to be excellent high-level threats. Really interested in the kindly old guy who sent Aang that message. Fuck this Long Feng guy.

17. "Lake Laogai": Man, this episode was a Lot. On one hand, YAY Uncle Iroh gets a tea shop! On the other hand, everything else. Again, this creepy brainwashing authoritarian government stuff is surprisingly hardcore for a kids' show. (I don't always get Long Feng's goals here. Just give the Gaang back Appa and refuse Ba Sing Se's help permanently and they'll probably leave! You don't seem to want them here anyway!) All the Joo Di stuff is intensely creepy and very effective. Wasn't originally happy to see Jet, but the Gaang did untangle all that faster than I expected, and the ending there was surprisingly moving. Zuko Get Yourself Together Whatever-Year-This-Is Challenge. YAY APPA'S BACK!

18. "The Earth King": Didn't love the Zuko half of this episode, but hopefully he's finally on the right path. Did love Aang bribing the Earth King with a ride on Appa, that was good thinking, and the whole plotline with the politics was very satisfying. Not sure if the letter from Toph's mom was real (as in written by her as part of the plot) or faked. I hope it was faked, I hate the idea that her mom would condone this. And then that ending, which was a fabulous OH SHIT moment. Of COURSE Azula would have all the Kyoshi Warriors' gear after defeating them. (IS Suki dead??)

19. "The Guru": TEA SHOP TEA SHOP A little necessarily slow, dividing between the meditation sections and everything else. And oh yeah, this choice to not open all the chakras isn't going to come back and bite Aang at allllll. /s But either way, THERE'S OUR GIRL TOPH teaching herself metalbending! Man, I love watching her be the tank. Nice to see Sokka with his dad. Azula remains a brilliant villain.

20. "The Crossroads of Destiny": Holy crap, that was a ride. I just about died laughing at Azula telling Long Feng, essentially, that she's going to rule because she's a boss and he's just a little bitch, and him agreeing. Headdesking forever at Zuko STILL not getting his shit together yet. I guess it makes more sense to give him what he thinks he wants and then have a Realization but ugh. Also, I thought Sokka was going to be the big stumbling block to the group's eventual acceptance of him, now I suspect it'll be Katara. Which will actually be harder to overcome, since Sokka doesn't tend to be taken seriously the way Katara is, especially on matters of trust/ forgiveness. Iroh remains the absolute best throughout, and I am heartbroken that he lost his tea shop! He just got it! You guys didn't tell me he only gets his tea shop for like a day!!! Katara is the other MVP of this ep and the spirit oasis water and "death in the Avatar state" bits definitely paid off here. Where are they going to go now? They aren't going to try to invade the Fire Nation just the four of them, are they?

[takecareluv]

MEG MY SWEET

how are you doing?? i know you’re tired, but i just want to tell you i’m proud of you🫶🏻 you work so so hard and deserve all the rest and self-care & pampering in this world !!

tell me some of the highlights from your week. they could be the most boring thing ever, but i still wanna know🤍

sending you allllll my love and an armful of hugs, darling🫶🏻✨🥺💕

okay i didn’t even realize this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now ?? but i miss my livie girl so much <3 hope she’s okay.

HI LIVIE <3

i’m doing okay ! this weekend was definitely nice and relaxing but i’m still feeling overwhelmed . i know i’m going to go to work tomorrow and go right back to feeling the same way i was last week & the week before && before… drained. i feel trapped in this cycle and have absolutely no motivation to do anything to free myself from it, honestly i don’t even know where i would begin to. i miss writing , i miss reading , i miss doing the little things that bring me joy , i miss doing anything other than working or sleeping , i miss being fully present on here , i miss feeling anything other than exhaustion. and i feel so weird because nothing is wrong but everything is at the same time. i don’t know. i just need a break. i need something to change , in me & around me.

anyway,,,, since i was gone for most of the week i’ll give a little recap because i have had some good moments over the last few days… and maybe a few bad ones…

the biggest highlight of my week was going to see noah cyrus in concert ! i had no idea about it until last week when my friend texted me about having an extra ticket & of course i said yes !! i’m so happy i got to go to it. first — i love love love her new album so being able to see her perform it live is just the best thing ever ! plus i just love going to any concert in general , the energy is unmatched <3 and second — i’ve never been to a show in a small venue like that ( it was a brooklyn steel ) ( exactly a week after jack was there like are u kidding ) & with general admission tickets . we got so close to the stage ( basically barricade !! ) , which i’ve also never been that close , so all in all it was an incredible experience ! i literally made eye contact with her so many times and she even tipped her cowboy hat at me && smiled like AHHH fangirling hard !!!! hehe

LIKE I TOOK THIS WHATTT

although it was a great show and such an amazing experience, the day as a whole was so stressful. and honestly just made up for a completely shitty week :/ i had to go straight from work and almost missed the train , i literally pulled up to the station as the train got there and had to sprint to find my friend . and bc it was all so rushed && i hadn’t been to the city in quite some time my anxiety was at such a high and i couldnt calm myself down until we were finally at the venue and waiting in line ( for three hours omg it was so cold did not go prepared ) BUT we did meet some amazing ppl who were also all at the vma’s and one of them had this video of jack & her from the red carpet that i literally saw online i was like GIRL THAT WAS U small world anywayyyy

…………

okay now i’m looking back at this weeks later and i don’t really remember the rest of what i was gonna say but whateverrrr probably wasn’t important anyway & just me complaining about the rest of my week 🙃 I MISS U LIV PLS COME BACK I LOVE U

[booyouimcrazy]

A letter to my man: Post-Dated

Hehe, post-dated. yep, that's there like that for a reason.

You're only going to see this post dating me.

But it's 20.11.22 and we just had a chat about you going to Copenhagen tomorrow or well, Monday.

but me?

Im dreaming of the day i first get to surprise you.

It's the scene of a rom-com for me.

It has to be.

It's you.

You're my rom-com.

Obviously, you don't know this,

But there's a lot riding on you.

I want you forever.

But i also don't know if we're right at allllll together.

So my brain just does somersaults around you and the thought of you.

While my gut flexes in turned on,

Because you do things to me.

I dream of flying to London and taking a late train to show up at your street.

In the evening.

With a flower.

I think I'm always going to bring you a flower.

Or try to, atleast.

Only because you deserve one,

I've felt love twice in my life,

And of the two, a lot's riding on you.

But to call you, maybe for the first time ever, idk, we'll see,

On WhatsApp,

and ask you if you want to step out for a walk.

And be out in the street waiting for you.

Obviously if it's raining, big bonus.

Cause i imagine two sentences of conversation post hugging you, before our faces are inches apart and i have to ask if i can finally kiss you?

Im not sure it gives me butterflies but it definitely has me excited.

And to take you for a walk,

So you can hold me and kiss me and talk to me,

Before i return you home for dinner.

But i wonder.

How are you going to get the flower in?

Odd to come back from a walk with a flower, no?

Which is also why i downgraded to bouquet btw. (Yep, i actively thought about it)

I hope you're the kind of man that's sentimental and will keep the flowers i give him,

Idk to maybe write me poems at some point.

Yes i did just put you and poems in the same sentence, because i adore your words.

You're British, i was bound to adore you from the get-go anyway.

Buuuuut but but but, i want to then text you the whole trainride home,

because i want you to pack your bags and come live with me in London for a couple days.

So i FINALLY get to have sex with this sexy, sexy, sexy man,

and bring his glorious kinks to life.

Me with only an apron on?

Oh honey, i will MAKE me a special apron for exactly this purpose.

Because i hope this time that I've got the craving of your touch right,

the last time i fell for someone first over text then everything else, ended horribly.

This time,

We really went from 0-100 in 6 hours.

So noooowwww,

tall orders.

Hehe, tall orders, cause you're mine.

I cannot WAIT to flirt with you,

and turn you red in the face,

and convince you to come back and touch my body back in India.

Max,

I hope you're mine,

Because i really want you to be.

You're a soft, pillowy bundle of gentleness.

You feel things and read things, the way I've always wanted a man to.

Well, most things other than me, so i guess we'll figure how that goes.

I had to close my eyes to daydream about how i was going to kiss you the first time i kissed you.

Hug, then have faces really close to each other and stare deeply into each other's eyes when I say,

"Got a lot riding on this".

Before i bring the inside of my lips in contact with yours,

Giving you free entry into my mouth if youd like it.

Yours is quite inviting actually,

thankyou for asking.

[charcubed]

hey char, mind to share your fave stevebucky headcanons? 👀

Oh I LOVE that you asked me this :’)  Thank you!

I honestly have so many if I really think about it because I love them so much and I think about their dynamic so much that I have so many favorite things... but here is what I think of off the top of my head:

• Steve was color blind before the serum, according to canon. I have a headcanon that Bucky used to try to describe colors to him. I wrote a mini fic about that here.

• Bucky was drafted for the war, but didn’t tell Steve. Steve sort of assumed that Bucky enlisted, and Bucky never wanted to correct him. How could he? Steve wanted to enlist so badly, and Bucky didn’t ever feel like he could admit that he didn’t have the same drive to want to ~fight for the country~ like Steve did. He didn’t want to disappoint him and he was afraid Steve would think he was a coward. So Bucky just... never told him that he was forced into war. It was never his choice to fight for the country. If it was up to him, they would’ve stayed home together and stayed safe and never fought at all.

• They were always physically rough with each other, in the sense that they'd wrestle as boys all the time, and Steve loved that Bucky never treated him as fragile. Buck knew he could take it. Even after the serum, they'd still scuffle a bit like kids, finding a bright spot in a war-torn world. They’d be awake in the trenches on lookout, having soft conversations in the night, and shoving each other after one says something stupid or makes a bad joke.

• Steve is bi, and Bucky is gay. Bucky was consciously aware of his feelings for Steve way, way before Steve was aware of his for Bucky. In the 30s, Bucky has a bit of a reputation for ~dating around,~ but not in a rude ladies’ man kind of way but rather his reputation is “Bucky Barnes is a real charmer. He’ll show you a good time and he’s really sweet, but he never pushes your boundaries.” Some women wishes he’d push their boundaries, but he doesn’t. He’s taken so many women out on dates because he never lets it get super serious, since they’re not who he wants and it’s mostly for appearances’ sake, especially since he and Steve live together. He definitely enjoys hanging out with women, and treating them nice, but most of the time his motivation is to try to set up double dates–half because Steve deserves to find a great girl to date, and half because a double date means Bucky can selfishly do a date activity “with” Steve and not have it mean anything. Meanwhile though, Steve gets jealous as hell and testy about Bucky dating all the time, but he’s oblivious to the fact that it’s because Steve wishes Bucky would be with him instead.

• Their first kiss was when Steve was 16 and Bucky was 17. I’m not necessarily saying that’s when they actually got together, but something significant happened between them at those ages... maybe they kissed because they were drunk, or it was so Steve’s “first kiss” would be someone he knew and it was for “practice.” And then they both never talked about it again, because they’re idiots and were afraid to ~ruin things~ between each other. That’s why Steve says “Rumlow said ‘Bucky’ and all of a sudden I was a 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn.” That’s why “seventeen” is one of Bucky’s trigger words as the Winter Soldier. It checks out, because Bucky is a little bit older than Steve.

• Steve doesn’t fully admit the depth of his own feelings for Bucky to himself until he finds out Bucky’s been captured by HYDRA. And then he tears Europe apart to get him back. He’d have done that anyway, obviously, but... the prospect of losing Bucky forever is really what makes him realize how much he can’t handle that concept. Because he’s in love with him.

• After Bucky “dies,” Steve gets more reckless, and that’s part of the reason he put the plane in the ice and didn’t try to survive: he didn’t want to live in a world without Bucky in it. This is supported by canon. And so I headcanon that, after Steve finds out about the Winter Soldier, one day he abruptly realizes that he could’ve died in that plane crash and never known Bucky was alive and brainwashed and suffering. He thought Bucky was dead and he wanted to follow him, and he could’ve left Bucky even more alone in the world without knowing it. When Steve realizes how close he came to leaving Bucky behind like that, he throws up. It horrifies him to think about it.

• They each have a pair of dog tags where one says “Steve Rogers” and one says “Bucky Barnes.” They swapped one tag each, so that they’d have a matching set, because while they couldn’t list each other as “next of kin,” they wanted tangible evidence that would show other people how important they are to each other. So people would know: tell him if something happens to me.

• Their Brooklyn accents come out / get heavier around each other, especially if they’re bitching about things or arguing.

• Bucky is a complete sci-fi and fantasy nerd–which is now confirmed canon, and I love it. In particular, I like to headcanon that he loves to read paperback sci-fi novels, and discount romance novels. He unironically enjoys them, and he leaves them allllll over the place. One of the things they love to do is Bucky will sit around and read while Steve will sit around and draw/paint, and half the time Steve gets distracted sketching Bucky’s facial expression he makes while he’s reading.

• Bucky is also a pop culture gremlin. He will try and often get interested in pretty much anything and everything, without rhyme or reason. In modern day, he and Nat will watch trashy reality TV together–sometimes to make fun of it, sometimes to get invested. Steve thinks they’re insane for that. And sometimes Bucky will like one niche thing but then for very specific reasons he dislikes another similar thing. It makes sense to him, even if Steve doesn’t get it.

• Steve tends to be pickier with the kind of stuff he enjoys. He’s always had Strong Opinions™️ on everything, including and especially art. Put him in a museum and he’ll have a lot of thoughts on all of it. He doesn’t judge things or hate on other people for liking things he doesn’t like at all, but he won’t get hooked on a movie/show quite as easily. The one exception is animation, which he absolutely adores, and he goes on a wild binge of all kinds of animated content for awhile–shows and movies–because the various art styles and uses of the medium to tell crazy stories just fascinates him.

• Easy access to so much music is one of their mutual favorite things about the 21st century. Bucky often gets into individual artists’ entire discographies and becomes a fan, whereas Steve often gets into a handful of specific songs from a wide range of various people. Like... Bucky will often love an entire album, and Steve will often love 2 songs specifically more than others. But even with that, Steve loves collecting vinyl records–both old and new ones.

• Bucky has a fantastic singing voice even though he’s shy about it, and he tends to hum along to music when distracted or working on something else–especially while making something in the kitchen. 

• Bucky likes technology more than Steve; Steve likes physical stuff more than Bucky. Bucky loves to take photos and videos of things all the time, hoarding digital memories in a way that’s precious to him, knowing that they’re “safe” and accessible anywhere. They lost so much of the objects that they loved a century ago, and photos were scarce, but now... there are endless ways to have pictures. When Bucky was recovering in Wakanda and Steve was on the run, Bucky would often text Steve photos–sometimes without captions–to wordlessly share bits of his days with him. He’s got a good eye for photography, except for when he takes the photo equivalent of shitposts to make Steve laugh. Regardless, Steve gets his favorites printed–some of Bucky’s photos, some of his, some of their selfies–so they also always have something tangible to hold onto.

• Bucky calls Steve “sweetheart” sometimes, just to be a little shit–and he means it. It makes Steve turn red every time, without fail, but he secretly doesn’t mind it.

Okay I’ll stop hahaha. Those are the main ones that come to mind for me all the time when I think of them! 

Thank you again for asking :D  This was so fun to write all in one place!