#anyway this is weirdo site let me be weird

[kaynes-secret-blog]

Ok is official

This is an Arthur Lester appreciation blog if u don't like him unfollow, reblog to show appreciation too s2

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[bozepomagaj]

ATINY/MOA/CARATS vs Made in Abyss was the last thing I expected and its hilarious

feel like I need to say something since twitter absolutely loves spreading misinfo and just accusing people of shit, how have you people not LEARNED your lesson yet? Since when is twitter such a trusted source, especially gossip accounts?

And before you braindead stans start calling me a d!ckrider, I promise you I do not care about these men cuz I've got better things to focus on and I'm making this because people are overreacting and it's getting annoying. It's so obvious 90% of you haven't watched the anime (and thats completely fine, I get you) and then ended up listening to someone who made stuff up and overexaggerated. I'm not here to defend the author because I hate him as much as you do and can absolutely recognize the dude is into some weird shit but saying people are ONLY interested in this series because of r@pe and p€dophilia is INSANE. So let me answer some questions as a Made an Abyss reader (not calling myself a fan because you'll catch me DEAD before you see me buying any merch or manga despite my love for the series), kpop fan second.

Does Made In Abyss contain p3d0ph1l1c themes, gore etc.?

There absolutely is because the author is a creep (refering to the nsfw however, most of the times it's very easily skippable. As someone who hates l0l1con cuz it creeps me out, I can tell you that I really didn't have a hard time skipping said scenes even in the manga which is far more explicit than the anime (Prushka asking about Bond's 'stick', Faputa looking into Regs pants, Vueko's weird comments) and sometimes, they're even added as extras (0.5 chapters) which certain sites that contain scans don't even include. I didn't even know about the existence about a few of these chapters BECAUSE they don't include them.

The OVA is a nightmare to watch and was not only unfunny but creepy as fuck especially when they try to boil down such an amazing character like Ozen into 'I like seeing little kids in pain'. Now I have no idea if this was made independently but I don't remember the author making any spin-offs that they could base this on so I can't tell you who wrote it but even then I doubt that the author minded it since the man himself had to include that Faputas behind smells like the 'Sun' so again, not here to defend him cuz he most definitely is a weirdo, no doubt about it.

Is Made in Abyss torture p*rn?

If MiA is torture p*rn then AoT is military propaganda and supports child labor, TPN is also torture p*rn, JJK promotes violence, Berserk excuses r*pe and Evangelion is also p*do bait. See how stupid that sounds? Just because an anime INCLUDES something, does not mean it necessarily supports it. Yes, r*pe is mentioned but it's not even SHOWN, and it's a cruical part of a characters backstory. The torture that happens, happens only once if we exclude Riko's 'experiment' at the very beginning of the manga. And Mitty's transformation can't even be classified as torture cuz it's a.... transformation. Prushka's death is very censored so its not like you can jack off to that anyways. Now the piss thing is something I have noticed but haven't really payed attention it because bffr why the hell would I so idk, maybe the author is trying to tell us something or the guy thinks pee pee poo poo funny🤷‍♀️.

Is there any plot besides the weird stuff?

See now this is the part that gets me most because the reason why a majority of people nowadays got into MiA in the first place is BECAUSE of the amazing plot. The world building, the mystery, the fight scenes, etc. It's amazingly drawn, nicely paced and unique in its own way. But of course, it's manga&anime and what's anime without fanservice? I already explained that in manga, said scenes can be easily skipped and the anime thankfully doesn't include a lot of these. I do have to admit thag I dropped the manga for now since the chapter where they were in a bath cuz it was another one of those 'here we go again' moments where it made me roll my eyes and just close the tab so I don't really know what's been happening recently and if things go weirder.

I'm also gonna tell you honestly that yes, the fandom is filled with sweaty dudebros itching to see these kids half naked and the author is aware of them and pondering to them because he too is one of them. But a large majority is back from when the anime originally came out and are mostly hiding on twitter so it's easy to avoid them and they've been pretty rare ever since people with actual interest in the series have begun watching it. A reason why back in the day I didn't wanna interact with the fandom at ALL was because the moment I tried to have a normal conversation about the plot and what might actually be going on, I instead get bombarded with "UWAAAA😭😭😭" and 'c*nny' comments. I also cannot defend and don't even plan on defending the fact that Faputa is pretty much naked the entire series. I get that she lives in the literal wilderness, but the very least you could do is put a cloth on her y'know. And mind you, I'm talking about the manga. The anime is a LOT more heavily censored, and from what I heard, even MORE censored in Korea.

To sum it up:

Do I think Mingi/Soobin/Woozi are p*dos cuz they watched the anime? Absolutely the fuck not. Considering Mingi is a big CSM fan, I can see why he watched Made in Abyss because I was in that same pipeline. I think some of you are going way too far with these comments, if you wanna call them weird, creepy, wanna unstan them for reading stuff like this go ahead, not gonna stop because in the end no one can but accusing people of crimes isn't funny and never will be. If they were exposed for watching shit like Kodomo no Jikan then that most definitely IS eyebrow raising. Maybe I'm slightly biased due to me only enjoying MiA for the plot so seeing people say the fans are p3d0s when the first time I watched this was when I was freshly 15.... yeah idk abt that one. Whether they liked the weird and questionable scenes, I have zero idea I'm just here to say that you can enjoy said anime without being a weirdo and you shouldn't begin jumping to conclusions and start calling people straight up criminals. If anyone wants to have a productive conversation and ask questions abt said anime cuz I doubt you're gonna go watch an anime over a Twitter drama, go ahead and ask. If you wanna insult me and call me a d!ckrider then go ahead and do that too, who am I to stop you?

[god-forsaken-sp-confession-blog]

Reminder to this fandom because sometimes I think we need it:

We are all going to be dead within 90 years, none of this is that deep, let’s remember the one thing that connects all of us instead of focusing on what drives us apart – our love for South Park.

I think this fandom is genuinely such a positive one, I would pay millions (I really wouldn’t but you know my point) to keep it that way. The majority of people I’ve spoken to on tumblr in the South Park space have been wonderful. This fandom has been around for longer than some of us have been alive?? And it’s still thriving?? The fuck??

Like, let’s just fucking appreciate that for a moment. It’s incredible how it has survived for so long. We get new content at least twice a year, an ensamble of at least 20 hilarious characters to write about, a collection of fanart spanning back literal decades, show creators that are constantly evolving and trying new shit, and a whole lot of nostalgia. If I told you to think of a South Park fanfic that had you staying up way past your bedtime, you could. If I asked you your favourite pairing, you could answer. If I told you to pick out your three favourite fan-artists I bet you could. This is something everybody here has in common.

Let’s all sit back and enjoy it. Sometimes I see inklings of polarisation in the fandom (especially over headcanons, as if headcanons aren’t literally from your own “head”, that is the point, you don’t have to agree with everyone else because they have different heads, fuck it but stay creative ily) and it’s incredibly sad to see because I think the space has existed for so long partly because of how the show preaches looking at both sides equally before making your own conclusions.

It’s what I love about so many people I’ve interacted with on this site; their ability to agree to disagree on certain things because really who gives a shit?? Ignore what you don’t want to see, block the people you don’t want to interact with, just fucking chill out, let’s get off our high horses and remember that we all have this one key thing in common. A love for South Park.

On that note, thank you to people in this fandom for being cool, and thank you to the ones in this fandom who are less cool because it makes me realise and appreciate just how cool the cool ones are

— Lots of love, anon

(because let’s face it, we’re all a little bit strange for loving this show enough to have a tumblr dedicated to it, that’s what makes us a community. Keep being weird, keep having random headcanons because it’s fun, don’t let anyone belittle you for your creativity and don’t belittle anybody else for theirs because we’re all absolute weirdos for having a South Park tumblr anyway)

Thank you for coming to my ted-talk.

😎👍

.

[secretgamergirl]

Hell is terms like ASIC, FPGA, and PPU

I haven't been doing any public updates on this for a bit, but I am still working on this bizarre rabbit hole quest of designing my own (probably) 16-bit game console. The controller is maybe done now, on a design level. Like I have parts for everything sourced and a layout for the internal PCB. I don't have a fully tested working prototype yet because I am in the middle of a huge financial crisis and don't have the cash laying around to send out to have boards printed and start rapidly iterating design on the 3D printed bits (housing the scroll wheel is going to be a little tricky). I should really spend my creative energy focusing on software development for a nice little demo ROM (or like, short term projects to earn money I desperately need) but my brain's kinda stuck in circuitry gear so I'm thinking more about what's going into the actual console itself. This may get techie.

So... in the broadest sense, and I think I've mentioned this before, I want to make this a 16-bit system (which is a term with a pretty murky definition), maybe 32-bit? And since I'm going to all this trouble I want to give my project here a little something extra the consoles from that era didn't have. And at the same time, I'd like to be able to act as a bridge for the sort of weirdos who are currently actively making new games for those systems to start working on this, on a level of "if you would do this on this console with this code, here's how you would do it on mine." This makes for a hell of a lot of research on my end, but trust me, it gets worse!

So let's talk about the main strengths of the 2D game consoles everyone knows and loves. Oh and just now while looking for some visual aids maybe I stumbled across this site, which is actually great as a sort of mid-level overview of all this stuff. Short version though-

The SNES (or Super Famicom) does what it does by way of a combination of really going all in on direct memory access, and particularly having a dedicated setup for doing so between scanlines, coupled with a bunch of dedicated graphical modes specialized for different use cases, and you know, that you can switch between partway through drawing a screen. And of course the feature everyone knows and loves where you can have one polygon and do all sorts of fun things with it.

The Genesis (or Megadrive) has an actual proper 16-bit processor instead of this weird upgraded 6502 like the SNES had for a scrapped backwards compatibility plan. It also had this frankly wacky design where they just kinda took the guts out of a Sega Master System and had them off to the side as a segregated system whose only real job is managing the sound chip, one of those good good Yamaha synths with that real distinct sound... oh and they also actually did have a backwards compatibility deal that just kinda used the audio side to emulate an SMS, basically.

The TurboGrafix-16 (or PC Engine) really just kinda went all-in on making its own custom CPU from scratch which...we'll get to that, and otherwise uh... it had some interesting stuff going on sound wise? I feel like the main thing it had going was getting in on CDs early but I'm not messing with optical drives and they're no longer a really great storage option anyway.

Then there's the Neo Geo... where what's going on under the good is just kind of A LOT. I don't have the same handy analysis ready to go on this one, but my understanding is it didn't really go in for a lot of nice streamlining tricks and just kinda powered through. Like it has no separation of background layers and sprites. It's just all sprites. Shove those raw numbers.

So what's the best of all worlds option here? I'd like to go with one of them nice speedy Motorolla processors. The 68000 the Genesis used is no longer manufactured though. The closest still-in-production equivalent would be the 68SEC000 family. Seems like they go for about $15 a pop, have a full 32-bit bus, low voltage, some support clock speeds like... three times what the Genesis did. It's overkill, but should remove any concerns I have about having a way higher resolution than the systems I'm jumping off from. I can also easily throw in some beefy RAM chips where I need.

I was also planning to just directly replicate the Genesis sound setup, weird as it is, but hit the slight hiccup that the Z80 was JUST discontinued, like a month or two ago. Pretty sure someone already has a clone of it, might use that.

Here's where everything comes to a screeching halt though. While the makers of all these systems were making contracts for custom processors to add a couple extra features in that I should be able to work around by just using newer descendant chips that have that built in, there really just is no off the shelf PPU that I'm aware of. EVERYONE back in the day had some custom ASIC (application-specific integrated circuit) chip made to assemble every frame of video before throwing it at the TV. Especially the SNES, with all its modes changing the logic there and the HDMA getting all up in those mode 7 effects. Which are again, something I definitely want to replicate here.

So one option here is... I design and order my own ASIC chips. I can probably just fit the entire system in one even? This however comes with two big problems. It's pricy. Real pricy. Don't think it's really practical if I'm not ordering in bulk and this is a project I assume has a really niche audience. Also, I mean, if I'm custom ordering a chip, I can't really rationalize having stuff I could cram in there for free sitting outside as separate costly chips, and hell, if it's all gonna be in one package I'm no longer making this an educational electronics kit/console, so I may as well just emulate the whole thing on like a raspberry pi for a tenth of the cost or something.

The other option is... I commit to even more work, and find a way to reverse engineer all the functionality I want out with some big array of custom ROMs and placeholder RAM and just kinda have my own multi-chip homebrew co-processors? Still PROBABLY cheaper than the ASIC solution and I guess not really making more research work for myself. It's just going to make for a bigger/more crowded motherboard or something.

Oh and I'm now looking at a 5V processor and making controllers compatible with a 10V system so I need to double check that all the components in those don't really care that much and maybe adjust things.

And then there's also FPGAs (field programmable gate arrays). Even more expensive than an ASIC, but the advantage is it's sort of a chip emulator and you can reflash it with something else. So if you're specifically in the MiSTer scene, I just host a file somewhere and you make the one you already have pretend to be this system. So... good news for those people but I still need to actually build something here.

So... yeah that's where all this stands right now. I admit I'm in way way over my head, but I should get somewhere eventually?

[rose-corner-askblog]

I am Eris. I am the leader of Team Apostasy. I will not let anyone derail me from my goal.

If you are receiving this message it is because we believe you could be a great addition to our team.

We are Team Apostasy, we mean you no harm. Our mission is for the good of all.

The term 'team' is mainly for aesthetics (and to get more attention, all publicity is good publicity) In truth, we are a revolution.

We wish to free humanity from the shackles our 'gods' keep us in.

Our Legendaries, our 'gods' hold no empathy for their creations. We are their playthings, nothing more than a sick joke and a form of entertainment.

So I ask you, do you truly wish to live under the tyrannical rule of those that pretend to care? Do you wish to live in fear of these creatures?

Or do you wish to rise up and fight against them?

It is your decision, we await your response.

@team-apostasy-official

Knew I shouldnt’ve given my info to that shady site, now I got weirdos messaging me…

Anyways, uhm. You seem dangerous. I think I’d rather do just about anything else than help you…

Maybe consider… not trying to kill the Pokémon that are keeping the fabric of reality in check? Thanks.

He talks like that weird guy in white I met when I got dropped in Nimbasa… but worse, somehow?

I wish you well in your other, normal endeavors. Stay away from the gods.

[prettyhighforawhiteguyblog]

Let me into your echo chambers. Please.

Introduce me to your friends.

I need out of my echo chamber and so do you.

So don't just like. Share it with your friends.

If you liked it don't you think your mutuals might be interested in it too?

Then take 30 sec to check out the OP's blog and see if they are worth a follow.

Tumbler's UI is shit and I ramble, so I apologize that this will be a scroll.

==================

I am a rambler when I write. And for a blogging site, Tumblr is pretty shit for blogging. Almost like it was on purpose...

But anyway, since I ramble, I write to help skimming. I highlight important points you might want to pay attention to and then you can go back to read a bit more context on that point.

So don't be intimidated.

I give every art I see at least a like. Maybe a comment. Because I love to see people express themselves and put themselves out there. And I want to encourage you. And maybe interact a bit. And maybe I was high.

And when I write, I tend to ramble. But I promise that my writing and content is worth the effort and time.

But whenever I see something unique or special or meaningful or especially lovely or just plain weird, I hit that share button.

So, follower beware: I reblog a whole lot and it is part of my content. And my created content might take a bit to read.

And it's not that I'm particularly trying to get your attention. I just play around on here when high.

I just think a wider view of the diversity in this world is better for everyone to have. But more importantly I believe it is necessary to hear from the weirdos.

I find weirdos and I amplify them.

Like and subscribe!

Because you fuckers need to meet each other and see each other's shit. Especially the shit that is different.

We need to see the world outside Normies' Big Media Capitalist curated News world.

I love you fuckers. All so unconventional and weird and whatnot. Most of us keep it together in the outside world.

But we have to find the other weirdos to be weird with. Normies are great friends and I love all my lambs, but the weirdos are my people and we can be ourselves together.

There's a lot of normies that try to be weird to build a fun persona and I'm kind of impressed with you. It takes a lot of guts in this society to pick a fun way of living and stick to it against the tide. You do you.

Just like all the other lovely normies out there. They try so hard to find themselves.

It's due to all having shared interests and hobbies. They all have same politics, same worldview, same income, same race, same shared media and experiences, education, upbringing, and desires and cares, wants, and needs. They just need to feel loved. Like us.

Shalom.

But otherwise normies only want comfort and conformity to get acceptance. So they go along with everything,

and only go to water parks, the mall, and DisneyWorld, eat shitty imitation of Popeyes weekly for Jesus's sake, and do all the Applebee restaurants and dabble in exotic local eateries. They watch sports and play golf or bowl or "manly" shit together and talk sports, women, politics, and work. They look for normal jobs and the normal White/cic-masking BIPOC at work or church count for diversity and as their "many" Black "friends." They go to big well funded fancy museums filtered through capitalism and Western academia and that society.

All of it with a fuck ton of asshole Aristocrats and Billionaire meddling,

bankers picking and choosing, America bullshit, Capitalism and grants making us beg like dogs for centrifuge tubes or explain why my research required fucking printer ink while we rely on desperate and idealistic kids to do all the work basically for free.

The normies just go along with it all and live in the normal Aristocratic-lite society, do normal stuff, watch normal media, and love Disney. The normies just eat that Disney shit up.

They go those normal museums for culture. And while they are there, they look at magnificent art, technological achievements, architecture, poetry, and toys with wheels by ancient civilizations that made ours look shitty and all they see is pretty or weird.

I see before me strange weird things someone saw as common place and wonder how they would have regarded it.

I try to do that with weirdos too.

Weirdos show me a whole new world without the Disney bullshit.

While Aristocrats pump us full of Big Media, Disney, Education Systems, fake high society, fake Masters fake educated Geniuses flown to prominence by their privilege, and fake Comedic Geniuses.

(Van Gough & a few Divincci's and Einstein' or Jim Carrey' excluded)

Fake everything. And once in a while a true weirdo leaks out. And once in a while that weirdo shows up in public.

And that wonderful weirdo is seen as freak of nature. Abnormal by the normies narrow Diversity Standards.

Excluding us even more. Driving our personalities under cover just to get a seat at the table or make a good damn friend. I hate those smug fuckers making us act like them just to get a fucking job a "friend" who won't let you be yourself.

Sometimes I hate them. Most of the time I'm just tired of them.

They just are so boring. I'm so lucky to be faculty at a shitty school. It's filled with weirdos.

You fuckers must be drowning in normies

That's what made elementary, middle, and high school so bad. All the conformity. It was an exqisitely painful narrow kind of homogenous environment dominated by the few rich families in the neighborhood who ruled the school dress code. You wore what they were or you were Out. Outtened of interacting with Their society. You talked what they talked. You laughed at their jokes and only told similar kinds. You can't be too different. Just flavorful enough to get noticed if you're brave. You were "goodlooking" like them. White Sons and daughters of modern inbred high society modern day slavers and over titled middle management. All waspy rich brats. With a few diversity hires being "normal" for dear life.

How is your society now? Is it different now? I'd assume there's a definite ruling society. Who runs it? What kind of people have a seat?

Not the weirdos.

Not us.

We're below notice.

Like these words I write on this backwater shitty blog. Which is one of the few places that let us be weird together in long form and media for free.

So I figure a fake name should be enough to keep my Uber White Evangelical well-educated over-paid middle-manager Christo-fascist trustees running my shitty school from ever finding this page. I doubt they'd even thinking of looking here. Not without a Google hit for my Christian name.

So I'm just me here. And most of you are just you here. And that's refreshing.

There's a lot of normies still on here for fun, but bit most were driven away by the shitty UI, search features, lack of toggles and filters, oversaturation of ads and general derision for the user experience to the point that I think they are doing it on purpose.

You know a similar thing happened at another social media that brings truly diverse people together on more egalitarian grounds. Twitter got fucked up like Tumblr. Elon over paid just so he could be the one to destroy our communities.

(and drive the site Upulie loves to play on into the worst possible version of itself and then into a long depressing death spiral.)

This is Capitalism after all. And who controls Capitalism sanctioned social media? "Geniuses" ™️ like Elon Musk. And his tech bro fanboys and billionaires. No Aristocrat or Aristocrat-lite or their sycophant wannabes wants our shit out there in normies Big Media world.

So they drove the normies and play-actor normies and well-connected away. There's no fame or money here. You can't even go viral. There's just other weirdos without connections. And Will Wheaton. Who is also a weirdo.

I love you all just because. But I especially adore you because you are so fucking weird. But you still love others. Mostly. You are my kind of people. You don't fit in society. You beautiful, magnificent bastards.

And it's killing you acting like a fucking normie all day. It's itchy.

When you're stressed it gets impossible to mask and that gets scary.

I'm lucky to be surrounded by such loving weirdos at work. But they aren't weird weird if you get my drift. They are all conventional in most of their education experiences, interests, religion, Big Media consumption, background, White, and mostly men.

And I'm...? I've never fit in with any society.

Never enough to be even exotic normal for them.

And I've been in some weird societies. I'm just able to conform enough to get by with a buddy or two at work and not freak my friends, family, therapist, or the wife out.

I just want to be me. And that's hard when everyone just wants to be boring and do Capitalism bullshit and preferably do it the luxury way.

They just can't accept my personality being uniquely weird. And they will never recognize my uniquely weird genius languishing in this Tumblr prison of an echo chamber.

But if you are still reading, know that I amplify weirdos and important shit.

This might be a fucking tiny echo chamber Tumblr stuck you all in with me. This might be a really tiny sub chamber just for me. Mine is like the same fucking 10 people in my mentions. But I'm starting to leak out a bit.

Thank you for noticing me.

I hope you like my shit, but I don't give a shit if you don't care for it. (I very much do give a shit. Why don't you like me?! )

Anyway I think seeing the world from the non-normies is important. Knowing more foreigners and strangers and poor and lower SES is important to see the whole world. But you are still mostly seeing the Aristocracy's world. But the real world. To know the real world, you need to hear from the weirdos. We live outside the normie world. We see it from the outside looking in. We observe it. And we live a unique experience that gives us a unique world to share with others and a unique take on our shared world.

Knowing more people who live in totally other worlds is a wise thing to do

And you should all be amplifying whatever is weird or beautiful. But also the more unpleasant important things and local news.

Help us see this world.

The world beneath.

To help us see takes that are truly unique and not rehash of corporate plants and cherry picked normie viral sensations.

Giving us unique understandings of this beautiful world, synthesing the experiences of some truly beautiful people in some really weird or unusual, under represented, or shitty circumstances.

Big Message : Learn from each other, enjoy each other, amplify each other to help us escape these echo chambers. And follow me so I can escape with you.

[councilblr-voting-rights]

No1 Councilblr Weirdo Bracket (BEHIND THE SCENES)

First things first, I should note that ALL NOMINEES were included in the bracket. I only excluded TWO users for not having obvious ties to Councilblr. And when I spotted "the whole t4tnavyseal hivemind" I thought it would be funny, FOR THE BIT, to let in every hivemind member I could track down and include them in the bracket (which does mean there were contestants with no nominations).

This lead to a strange number of contestants, so I myself nominated rumiracle-whip and rubysparx to help even it out (one of them is an understated weirdo and both of them are fans of Exandroth so I call that immediately weirdo-worthy).

With a full list of contestants I got to work on the bracket. Users colestyle and burning-sol got separated to help with the odd number of contestants and to avoid any large sweeps. The regular nominees and the hivemind were separated with two exceptions, who I picked just based on *shrugs*. Users with a higher number of nominations I attempted to spread out and everyone else was randomised. I also made some other personal choices for the hell of it. Basically, it was a system of executive choices and also just a luck of the draw.

That's about everything I have to say on the behind the scenes. Since I have experience now, hopefully the next bracket will be easier to run.

Anyways, here are ALL the responses (aside from a few ommissions). CONTENT WARNING: many of these nominations were certified NOT WEIRD and dare I say NORMAL <- next time I will NOT be nice and NOT include everyone because you all cannot be trusted.

21 - colestyle

"i mean. cmon. the gillion eggs post." "i think the gillion lays eggs post is a good reason" "Have you seen his blog???" "are you kidding me" "you know why" "egg post 💀" "do I even have to explain this one" "do you really need to ask that" "funny guy. something deeply wrong with him. fussy. eggs. etc etc etc. need I say more" "eggs" "yeah" "do you even have to ask" "gillion egg webweave" "do i need to?" "self explanatory <3" "eggposting." "obviously" "Fussy, titstrider Tuesday, that gillion egg post" "very strange and off putting" "have you seen !!!!"

8 - burning-sol

"The Everything /affectionate" "Eldritchstrings and general exandroth posting" "i mean ‘weirdo’ in such a kind and positive way here because but i think if the council were to be exposed to his blog they would take some kind of psychic damage from the pinned post alone" "Many reasons, including being the person that started the Morse hivemind clicks" "just look at them" "Because they're my friend, and we can't all possibly nominate Lukas Colestyle" "excessive exandroth and eldritchstrings posting (/pos)"

5 - misty-lilies

"niklaus simp" "they want to get destroyed in a poll" "niklaus apologist 100 emoji" "accidentally started the t4t navyseal hivemind" "my favourite moot who makes banger charcter analysis posts and also is a simp for niklaus hendrix"

5 - navysealt4t

"^_^ get freaky wit it!! am a lil navyseal lover <3" "navyseal and t4t, they are cool and my mutual <3" "1 out of the 2 og t4tnavysealers…." "Them and t4tnavyseal started the t4t navyseal hivemind" "he literally WROTE an entire song for jay based on the idea of a musical. also she's my favorite mutual. so. i must be biased"

4 - willotstreet

"absolute killer.Murderer. SOMEHOW being able to rolan deep post so much im astounded. Thumbs up" "crazy insane rolan deep guy /pos" "honest;y whatever that guys got going on is infinitely funnier than anything else. i log onto this webbed site, watch ren post about their breakdown, then watch them post about how rolan deep is their wife."

3 - jadejemdoesstuff

"Scrimbles" "Hits post limit Way too frequently to be normal" "scrunkly"

3 - nickyclose

"First of all,had the SCUcondi username which was iconic,they are the ceo of Ashe winters and are my friend :}" "SAYS SO MUCH IN THEIR POSTS.SO MANY IDEAS. SOMEHOW. never runs out. Freak behavior. IDEAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! slash pos" "constantly brainrotting about npcs"

3 - spacedustmantis

"they r cool and understand gillion tidestrider" "really into plays that's kinda not normal right" "eel boy tidestrider"

2 - sp4rk-p1ug

"if he doesnt get in im blowing this whole fucking website up and deleting the cringe comp and the councilblr discord server and my blog" "i’m colestyles boyfriend"

2 - the-albatross-sails

"british representation" "called old man earl a top, british, just look at my pfp and that's all the evidence you need"

2 - dracolunae / pretzel-the-frogtopus

"No one can run that many update blogs and be considered an average blog /aff" "Beasty beastly beast best beast ORANGE Also they run like all of the update accounts All of them"

2 - alkalineleak

"1. i watched hymn liveblog making the undersea headcanon doc on discord 2. beloved jrwi riptide mutual" "big naturals"

1 - fiveminuterice

"omegaverse post"

1 - atlix2

"he's gotten a litle too silly"

1 - unwitnessprotection

"sorry for shipping william wisp and william wight. ok. sorry. god itd be so funny though. sorry also for contemplating shipping william with the wisp illusion of him. i havent gone to confession in years i could keep going"

1 - xaeyrnofnbe

"I think they are very nice :)"

1 - twinkfromconvergence / maybewren

"im their friend an i think it would be funny"

1 - viewfinder-chernobyl

"They wanted to be nominated"

1 - t4tnavyseal

"they have a cool blog :3"

1 - grrsalot

"freak (aff)"

1 - tragicfaggots

"they are silly :3"

1 - thanatosyaoi

"technically this is discord interactions based rather than blog based but. uhhh. yknow lets just go with “you had to be there” i dont need to disclose what happens in boo’s insane room"

1 - apple-the-bluebird

"You said we could nominate ourselves. Also. The year of the yaoi thing and having multiple posts on the cringe comp"

1 - chaos-caverns

"rand"

1 - seraphex

"Vibes"

1 - verdellium

"as a good friend of rosemarys heres my list on why she is weird and insane: - sent me a video of her doing an "autism jig" (intense stimming) over gillions i hate you speech - sent me a video of wym crying at 1 am over the bitb finale. unnerving and weird to wake up to at 6 am and see that video. - has a 1000 word note in her notes app about how one of his pieces in band perfectly fits albatrio. refuses to share it with me. - wrote like. 200 words to his mutual about band and jrwi. - in her drafts, there is a post that says "gillion is an exmormon. i said it." i dont know where this came from.

1 - tranny-tidestriders

"they reblogged the charlie twerking GIF about 15 times in a row. and he has autistic tboy swag"

1 - enderspawn 1 - fragilecqpricorn 1 - goatmanwithstrawberrytea 1 - asteraeliana 1 - everwizard

Someone simply submitted "ohmigoshiloveyou" and nothing else. The user "firefox-official" was nominated with the note "must i explain" but I couldn't find any obvious ties to Councilblr so I didn't include them, "sadmushroomgoblin" was nominated with no comment and excluded for the same reason.

[kirbys-pop-culture-junk]

Japanese copy of Danganronpa for the PSP that I bought on the SomethingAwful forums back in like 2013 or so.

I feel like a lot of people my age went through a 4chan phase of their life as almost a rite of passage where they spent at the least a little bit of time on the site, especially in the late 2000s/early 2010s era. As someone who has always been a bit of an old soul, for some reason for me I had a SomethingAwful phase.

I had always been a fan of the weird stuff on the site, especially Photoshop Phriday, the kinds of stuff that a 13/14 year old in 2003/04 probably should not have been looking at. But the forums themselves were always paywalled and something that I never really had much of an interest in going to anyway. All of my forums were retro video game and wrestling message boards and I didn’t feel the need to branch out that badly. It wasn’t until I got a bit older and hit that specific weirdo cynic phase of my life when I was like 18 when boards like SomethingAwful appealed to me.

I became a longtime lurker of the place, including a fan of Retsupurae, the YouTube SA-based series that is now a relic of early YouTube history, before finally purchasing an account, as well as Archives access (for an extra fee you were able to access the entire forum archive, which for a person like me who loves history it meant I could access stuff like posts that got weirdos like TotalBiscuit banned on the site) and started to post, mostly in the Let’s Play, Games, and Food boards. I’m sure you’ve heard about the drama associated with SA and I can safely tell you that yes, even the board that just talked about food and cooking had drama with members and it was honestly always absurdly hilarious. As an internet-lonely early 20s doofus, it was a place to make friends. The last community I was involved with (Detective Conan) had things end on extremely sour notes with some friends while other friends kinda just drifted away, which meant that a lot of the time that I spent online, I was extremely lonely. Using SomethingAwful around the same time that I started heavily using Tumblr meant that I got to see both sides of the infamous Danganronpa Let’s Play Paywall situation. I’m not gonna lie, all the posts getting upset that Lowtax would put the LP Paywall back up whenever a new chapter of the Let’s Play for the game came out used to crack me up, as did seeing all the ways people would circumvent it by even posting god damned screenshots of posts in the thread. I was even there for when slowbeef infamously banned someone for using the phrase “intriguingly moe” to describe a character and let’s be real here, slowbeef was completely in the right.

Being like 23 and having what I thought was disposable income, as a gag I figured I’d buy a copy of the game from the SA Mart from a fellow goon for like $15. It was the only time I ever used the SA Mart to buy anything. I didn’t even have a way to play it, I just thought it was a funny gag as someone who liked the series and characters while also seeing the fandom in the early days of Tumblr Fandoms being a thing go bananas for everything possible about it. I hung out on SA until about early 2015, when a lot of us realized that after having corners of the site that were a dedicated safe haven for people like us, it was getting overtaken by garbage again, so most all of us abandoned ship for the hangout future of Twitch streams, Skype group chats, and of course, Twitter.

When Lowtax committed suicide a few years back, there were a lot of people making self-reflective posts about their own lives on SomethingAwful, and I completely understood why, and even had my own little taken aback moment over being reminded of that period of me life. Lowtax was a genuinely reprehensible human being and even when I was an active user of SA a lot of the forum regulars were well past tired of him and his antics. But people used the site and turned it into something that I don’t think Lowtax had ever wanted it to be. For a large chunk of people now-a-days Online, especially leftist/progressives in their late 20s to mid-to-late 30s, that was where a lot of friends were made. I made some of my longest lasting internet friends on that site, including people that I talk to to this day. I learned *a lot* from the people I met on there, including people who helped me gain new perspectives on things in life. Before becoming a SA Goon, back when I was a lonely post-college dropout living in an entirely new town away from home and away from all my friends I grew up with, I was almost a reclusive outcast, a college liberal dirtbag leftist who watched Bill Maher. People on SA that I met got me to knock all that obnoxious shit off and I don’t even think they realized it.

Even though SomethingAwful was only a footnote of a few years or so of my life, it was definitely one of the biggest moments of my internet life, and maybe one of the times where I went through the most changes as a human being. As a website, it was an awful, awful place full of stupidity (never forget the guy who peed “LET’S PLAY” into the snow) but I can’t ignore the fact that I also made some friends with some very cool people who helped mold me into the person that I am today. And as a shoutout to those people, much love to FutureFriend, TheJayofSpade, DeviousVacuum (you’ll always be DVac to me), Danzel Glovington (maybe the first friend I made on SA. Haven’t spoken to you in years but hope all is well), DazzlynReed (an absolute sweetheart), Metroixer, FreezingInferno, Captain_Duck (one of the first people to give me a chance by having me guest on streams), Color Printer, and ChorpSaway.

Also a funny thing about SomethingAwful is how many new people I meet that as it turns out were on the site at the same time as me despite our paths never crossing. One of my best friends and someone very important to me now is something who was hilariously on the cusp of interacting with me on SA for years and years due to the both of us sharing a lot of the same friends, before we finally began talking barely a few years ago. I constantly kick myself over how I could’ve known her even almost a decade ago and it just never happened!!

This was a lot more than I had anticipated writing and I don’t think I properly conveyed all my thoughts about this period of my life the way I wanted to but I think you will at the least get the gist of it.

[rpcburnbook]

anyway what one niche site or member does on jcink once a year cannot compare to wading through actual extremist content fifteen times a day on other sites. stop being so hateful and just accept that jcink isn't THAT bad. this isn't a hill worth dying on. // for context bc they posted without any, this anon said something like ‘call me when the average rper is literally using racial slurs in public without anyone caring, you sound like a dumbass tumblrina blah blah’

here they are responding to a reply to that, which mentioned the common casual use of the g slur (a racial slur) and romanticised wwii/slavery plots (just two examples of antisemitism and racism) in the jcink rpc.

not sure what this person would consider ‘extremist content’ or ‘that bad’ but considering they’d move the goalposts again just to be right anyway, let me say this: if you think the jcink rpc doesn’t have a racism problem, you’re either ignorant to it or you don’t go here. if you think that means jcink has the worst racism problem ever recorded in the history of time, you’re being weird.

and if you can’t take the heat, stinky weirdo redditor, don’t dish it out in the first place. being anon here doesn’t mean you get a free pass to be hateful and not get served anything back.

~

[annoyingpaperyouth]

Wow Advertising is Just such crap

so I got this ad that goes to a pseudo journalist agitprop landing site- specifically for an article that states Trump is being unfairly prosecuted by his political enemies. Which obviously, The Trumpster Fire Oompa Loompa maybe-he-was-just-born orange guy committed lord knows how many crimes simply in terms of Emoluments and Nepotism let alone the fraud, the rape, the treason, the Saudi Billions, or the other insurgency treason, et cetera. But what is really fascinating is that people will spend good money to plaster this stuff and try to end democracy in my home country. Much like a decade ago where the airport guys with the posters of Obama with a Hitler mustache claiming the ACA was a evil conspiracy, there is no limit to the shrill bullshit. But let me be clear, its not notable that someone would plaster a bullshit ad on a social media site, or that weird Bond Villain Billionaires would pay for it (set fire to all the things, bring back feudalism, anything for lower tax rates I guess), but WHAT IS AMAZING is that Someone Accepted Their Money. If you want your social media thingamajig to have a future, don't Accept Money from Liars who support Evil Crooks. Old Dude is going to Jail, not because of a conspiracy or because he's not politically correct, He's going to Jail because of trying to destroy the political traditions that hold together our country, because of billions of dollars of fraud, because of sharing State Secrets with Evil Murderous Bastard Tyrants. And also maybe all the rape, but there's no telling on that count. So like- history is hopefully going to dunk the whole MAGA movement in the trash, set fire to the trash, embarrass the weirdos who tried to legitimize the trash, and meantime- if you want your future business endeavors to succeed- mayyyybeeeeee don't accept weird trash advertising on my Monster Fucking Queer as Hell Kinksters and Fan Obsession site. I hope they paid REALLY FUCKING GOOD because even a namby pamby 'satire news' advertisement in this political climate is really shitting the bed in terms of making Decent Americans think the majority of your company has no common fucking sense or decency. (Which you know, duh. We already knew, but come on, I hope that Ad buy was at least expensive.)

“Well, let’s just say it’s not Republicans — well, most of them, anyway,” he said." from the 'Satire' article from the ad- BRO, every fucking witness in the Election Tampering case is a Republican.

Also fun in general to think that the brain trusts making decisions for so many online news site used to have that sort of Fox lite shit all throughout their site disguised as 'sponsored content'.

[fuck-goes-on]

Spider

pairing/s: peter parker x reader

summary: peter exhibits strange behaviours... maybe he's more spider than he thought?

warning/s: comedy, fluff, spider-like behaviour, ballooning, dead flies, eggs (?), unnecessary jealousy, pheromones, venom-suit vibes

note/s: i'm in a crack mood yall, as always i wrote with tobey! peter in mind, but it can be read as any spiderman, also i got most of the behaviours from this site

masterlist ¦¦ navigation

Peter Parker was... weird. That much people knew when he first entered college.

The first time you met him, you were rushing back to your chemistry laboratory to find a notebook you left. As you entered the room, you saw Peter hanging from the ceiling, with only a thin thread holding him in place. The faint air from the aircon gently blew him back and forth, which almost hypnotised you before he let go of the thread and let the momentum push him to the wall on the other side of the doorway.

You looked around the area; test tubes, beakers and flasks containing an unfamiliar substance scattered across the lab tables, and a weird device was propped up with the same thin string coming out of it. Upon closer inspection, the string seemed to look like silk, raw silk that spiders wove from their spinnerets.

Peter rushed towards you with his hands flailing around as his mouth rambled words you half-understood.

"—not what you think! I was j-just— You were hallucinating! Yes, this is all a dream—" His hands waved in front of your face, "You are experiencing a heart attack! Wait— no— that's too much—"

"Peter, that's enough," You said as you pushed him away from you. He stumbled back, mouth finally shut. "I've known you were Spiderman for a while now."

Peter paused, panic filling his expressions once more, "Spider-who? I-I don't know no man spider and if I did, I would definitely walk away and act as if nothing happened."

"What do you think I've been doing this whole time, weirdo?" You crossed your arms and quirked a brow. He instantly relaxed, slumping over one of the lab stools. "Anyways... You think I can help you out with your webs?"

It's a month since you've been helping Peter with the creation of his webs; You were taught the formula first and foremost, and were tested with small amounts of the needed substances so you could make your own webs. To put it shortly, he was very impressed.

"You wanna help me?" Peter asked you. You merely nodded, and he seemed to consider you for a moment, before ultimately saying, "Alright."

From then on, you've been creating your own webs with his formula as a base; funnel webs, tangle webs, sheet webs, orb webs, and many others. They're inspired by actual webs spiders create, which amused Peter to no great deal.

"What? If you're Spiderman, then you gotta have some spider webs!"

"I already do!"

"Those? Nah, homie, those are Peter webs, not spider ones."

No matter how much he likes to complain, Peter is grateful for your assistance in making webs, especially since he has web block almost every other day; An incredible hassle during patrol nights.

One day, when you went to study with Peter at the Avengers Compound — they let you in there? — you couldn't find the guy for the life of you.

But there are other ways he's grateful for your webs as well.

You looked at the kitchen, the lab, his room, anywhere he would be seen by the others; However, none of those places had that red-blue spandex wearing man in them.

It took you longer than expected just to find him outside in the garden, where Tony and a webbed up Steve were talking. They were standing next to this huge funnel web, all the spokes spiraling inward to a large hole where a little dug-out hole was. When you extend your neck, you could see your friend laying down inside, sleeping comfortably on his bed of webs.

"Hey! You!" Tony called out to you. You walked closer to where the Ironman and the Captain stood. "You think you can get Pete out of there? I kind of need him in the lab, and Cap can't get him without being webbed together."

You nod your head and walked closer to the funnel, very carefully stepping on the intricately made webs. Just as you stepped down, Peter's head popped out of the hole; His foggy and narrowed eyes tried to focus on you as he assessed whether your were a threat, prey, or a friend.

Peter perked up when he noticed it was you, though, and immediately scrambled up with a handful of something.

"Pete! What are you doing?" You asked him as he got closer to you, "Tony Stark had to ask me for help. He doesn't as people for help, Peter!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll deal with him later, but right now, hold out your hand," You suspiciously did what he asked, and he beamed brightly at you. Before you could ask him again what he was doing, he dumped whatever he was holding into your hands.

Flies. Dead flies.

You screamed in shock and shook your hand to drop all of them on top of the web you and Peter were standing on. He preciously bright smile twisted into a crestfallen look, sadly glancing down at his trophy of flies.

"You don't like them?" He genuinely asked you, which both confused and scared you.

"And you do?!"

"Well, I just thought you'd like some..." Peter said with sadness. You winced at the utter genuineness of the guy and tried to smile.

"Thank you for... that, Peter, but Tony Stark needs you right now and afterwards, we need to work on our chem homework."

Peter looked a bit better after you thanked him, and instantaneously looked happier at the thought of working with you after whatever Mr. Stark needed him for.

It's a month after that incident that you two started dating, and everything was bliss.

"Okay! Let me help you out of the web and I'll be quick with Mr. Dad!" You chuckled and nod, holding tight onto his arm as he maneuvered you out of his web.

Peter took care of you like a housewife to her army husband. It was almost overbearing if it wasn't so gosh darn adorable of him to worry about whether you ate or not.

The first time you invite him over your apartment, it was for a movie night. It was just the two of you, a bowl of buttered and salted popcorn between you two, and a movie both of you weren't really paying attention to.

After a while, Peter stood up to get some water for the two of you. However, it took a little bit too long for him to come back.

"Pete? Are you okay?" You called out to him, reaching down for some popcorn to munch on.

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay..." He replied, sounding kind of far-away, "I just... didn't realise you had eggs."

"Well, I have to eat something for breakfast, don't I?" You half-joke, finally standing up to face whatever he was doing in your kitchen.

What you didn’t expect, though, was Peter holding your batch of organic eggs and wrapping them in his webs.

"Peter, love, what in the name of the good Lord are you doing?" You watched in horror as he grabbed yet another egg from your fridge to wrap with his webs. Before he could get more, you stop him with your hands, holding his wrists to your chest.

"What? I'm helping protect our eggs!"

"Protect— What— No, Peter, what you needed to do was get us some water," You pulled him away and made him hold two glasses that you filled with water.

When you faced him, Peter had the most pathetic and pitiful face on. It made you feel so bad that you reached to kiss his cheek, "Thank you for protecting our eggs, Peter. But only do that when I ask you to, okay?"

Peter caught you talking to Pietro the other day, and the effect was hissing towards the speedster whenever he got too close to you. But it was all for naught as Pietro didn't care for what people thought, except for Wanda.

Placated, Peter skipped as cheerfully as he could with two full glasses in his hands. You shook your head and followed him back to finish the movie you've both forgotten about.

Pietro would tease Peter, though. Sometimes the Sokovian would grab you and spin you around as a greeting, right in front of Peter. Other times, Pietro would get you things you wanted faster than Peter could; You want cereal? Sure, Pietro's got you covered. You're craving that meal you had down the street? Suddenly it appears right in front of you.  

One day though, for the nth time, you think, Peter has gone bonkers.

You woke up in the Avengers compound, having gotten used to spending weekend nights there with Peter whenever you can, alone. Before you could question where Peter was, a scream tore throughout the hallway; An impressive feat, considering the fact that the walls were soundproofed.

You rushed out of your shared room with Peter, seeing Wanda do the same as well as Clint who fell out of a vent. All of you ran toward where the noise was, surprised that it came from Pietro's room, and stumbled inside.

It was a sight, for lack of better phrasing.

Peter was on top of Pietro on the speedster's bed, crouched in his signature spider pose. Pietro, on the other hand, was bound with your boyfriend's webs, stuck inside with no way out.

"Peter!" You shouted, making the boy himself freeze at your voice. When he turned around, he faced your fury, "What the fuck is going on right now?! Release Pietro right this instant!"

"No! If I do, he's going to take up all your time just like the week before and the week before that!"

"Spider, if you don't release my brother right now..." Wanda threatened, eyes glowing red and swirls twisting and turning around her fingers, "You won't forget my name ever again."

Peter looked apprehensive, hesitant, before taking out some web dissolvent out of his pocket. It was a relief that he had some on his person; It showed that he wasn't completely insane.

After Pietro was released, he ran toward his sister and Clint, and sped the three of them away from you and Peter.

It was silent for a moment, Peter looking at the ground in shame, and you glaring at him like there's no tomorrow.

"What is going on with you, Peter? You've been acting out of it the past few months!" You exclaimed loudly, making your boyfriend flinch.

"... I'm sorry, angel, I didn't know what I was doing, honest," He said, looking up to show you how sincere he was. "I consulted Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark about this, but all they told me was that I've been behaving more and more like a spider since the bite and—"

You furrowed your brows as you walked closer to him, carefully laying your hand on his chest, "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I didn't wanna worry you... This all seemed so little, so insignificant that I didn't want to burden you with it."

"You could never burden me with anything related to you, Pete. I love you, and I mean all of you. Spider or no spider." He smiled at you and leaned in to press a kiss on your forehead. Pulling you into an embrace, he thanked and apologised to you numerous times.

That's when you knew, everything would be okay with you and your spider.

[spencersawkward]

i’m so happy ur on tumblr now!! i love between the lines so much, could you write a blurb or one shot about mgg and a younger co-star, but like very spicy if possible 🙃, idk i just love that scenario🥵.

i was literally about to write "omg i love this concept too!" and then i was like “well no fucking shit, sophi.” lol. YES i can 10/10 write you a one-shot with a similar scenario! also thank you for your kind words that was the first fic i ever wrote so it’s very near and dear to my heart!

summary: reader goes to a holiday party with her co-stars and best friend, Matthew... but all the fun happens in the dressing room.

content warnings: this one is quite dirty but i’m also proud of it lol. unprotected penetrative sex, oral (female receiving), degradation, use of the term “little girl,” creampie, age gap. dirty talk?

pairing: Fem!Reader/Matthew

word count: 4.7k

masterlist

"no."

"what do you mean, 'no’?” Matthew laughs, looking between me and the mirror.

"I look like the Ghost of Christmas Past." I lift up the soft white tulle of the dress, watching it float back down to settle over my skin. he's got his eyebrows raised and there's a smirk on his lips like he's holding back a laugh. I resist the urge to reach around and hit him.

"would you rather wear that?" he points to the punch-stained gown that's now laying pathetically over the back of the vanity chair. I genuinely ponder the idea for a moment.

"honestly, the crime scene vibes might work well with the theme of our show."

"seriously, it's not bad, Y/N!" he insists, drawing my attention back to the mirror.

"you're just saying that because you're the one who spilled on me and you don't want people making fun of how clumsy you are." I cross my arms over my chest. he gives me a dubious expression in our reflection on the wall.

"do I seem like I care about that?" he challenges.

"I--" the truth is that no, Matthew is not the type. Matthew is the kind of person to flounder in front of anyone and proceed to crack a joke about himself. he's humble. but I kind of like when we talk like this, our back and forth.

after a year of working together on the same show, he and I have grown incredibly close. I'm friends with all my co-stars, but he and I just have the natural friendship chemistry that makes me want to spend all my time with him. when we're not on set, we're hanging out on his couch or ordering dinner or driving out of town to check out wacky sites around California. we just have fun. pure, clean, honest fun.

of course, in my dreams it isn't pure or honest. frankly, there's a lot of sordid scandal to what goes on in my head when he accidentally touches my arm or brushes his fingers over mine. the amount of times I have gone to cast parties trying to work up the nerve to kiss him are embarrassing. he's older and more experienced and, obviously, he has no interest in me.

but that doesn't matter.

the only reason I'm standing in a dressing room alone with him is because he knew someone on the crew who could hook me up with a replacement for the night. he left while I slipped out of the old one and came back in only after knocking and checking, like, twice to make sure I was decent. he's so respectful that it's almost like he's afraid of making me think the wrong thing-- which makes me feel absolutely stupid for my almost schoolgirl crush.

"come on, you look great. let's go enjoy the party."

"was this a dress one of the victims was wearing?" I ask with a laugh.

"probably. not like we carry a lot of gowns on set." he grabs my hand, makes my heart leap into my throat. he only does it to urge me along, but it still feels intimate as I follow him out of the room, tossing one more evaluative glance at myself in the mirror. I seem terrified.

we continue to do our rounds at the party, Matthew filling my glass of eggnog even though I hate it. I wince and take a sip while we talk to some of our co-stars.

"what's wrong with you?" Shemar chuckles at my expression.

"lost a bet."

"with whom?" he glances between Matthew and me, knowing damn well already from the mischievous grin on the former's face.

"I told you not to take it." Matthew says over the rim of his glass.

"if you mention it one more time, I'm gonna throw up eggnog all over your outfit." I threaten him, but we're both smiling. Shemar frowns.

"what was the bet?"

"you know David-- the guy I was telling you about?" I reply quickly, determined to give my side of the story. Shemar nods; I told him last week when David oh-so-chivalrously danced up on me at a club and asked me out. usually in those situations, guys just want a one-night stand, so I was impressed and agreed. "anyway, Matthew said if it turned out that he was a weirdo, he would get to pick my drinks for the next week whenever we go out."

"your drinks? that's specific."

"she's so picky!" Matthew teases me.

"leave me alone, you dick!" I elbow him and he dodges just in time.

"tell him why he was a weirdo." he grins. the glare I give could kill. but Shemar is waiting expectantly for me to share the information, so I sigh and set my jaw before telling the truth.

"he collects antique dental tools."

"what?" Shemar laughs disbelievingly. I throw my hands up.

"I don't fucking know. we went back to his apartment and he showed me his whole collection."

"you're attracted to weird people, Y/N." Matthew says. I raise my eyebrows and almost say something that dooms me. I hold my tongue, however, and turn back to Shemar with a reserved smile.

"anyway, how are you?"

...

the cast holiday party is actually pretty fun. I tend to leave these functions early in favor of my couch and some ice cream, but something about the bright colors and the smell of wintergreen in the air makes me want to linger in the studio.

I stuff myself with sugar cookies and Matthew mercifully lets me switch from eggnog to Sprite. normally, I'd drink at such an occasion, but I'm a messy drunk and this is one of my first real jobs as an actress. I don't want to even come close to jeopardizing that by breaking some expensive equipment or something.

my throat gets a little sore from all the talking I do-- Paget and I spend about half an hour horribly belting out Christmas carols at the baby grand piano they brought in. they originally had someone hired to play it, but the guy disappeared about an hour ago.

by the time it hits around ten pm, my limbs are tired. I thought people would be leaving (a lot of them have families), but the party is still very much raging when I start to wind down. maybe it's because I'm sober.

"hey." Matthew sidles up next to me as I sit at the piano bench with a slice of lime in my mouth. I like to suck the juice out of them; sour things are my favorite.

"hi." I pluck the fruit out and drop it back into my soda. he sits next to me, his cologne filling my senses with the kind of sensual warmth that it shouldn't be making me feel. he always smells so good.

"ladylike." he gestures to the movement.

"is that why you call me 'princess?'" I smirk, half-joking.

"once-- I called you that once!" he defends. it's not a lie. he used the nickname when he was mocking me for my somewhat selective food preferences. it was sarcastic, but I wish it wasn't. something about the way he said it in the moment made me blush.

"is there a reason you've come to grate my nerves?" I raise an eyebrow and he turns away from me as he bites back a smile. I pout. "what?"

"you're talking like a Jane Austen novel."

"what's wrong with Jane Austen?" I defend, skin heating up. his proximity is doing things to me that it shouldn't.

"nothing," he glances at me before moving his gaze to the ivory keys. "do you play?"

"elementary level, sure." I giggle. he runs his fingers over them, never pressing down hard enough to release a sound. I'm entranced by the delicate nature of his actions, the veins and the curve of his fingertips, the sheer width of his hand. I think about it too much for it to be healthy.

"show me." it's a direct order, one that doesn't feel directive but still ends with me placing both hands on the piano and wracking my brain for something to play. I decide on a piece that Paget and I were doing earlier, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

I've never been quite good at piano, and the nearness of his body is like an anvil on my fingers, but I play anyway. and it feels good. his eyes are on me, drawn to my tracings over the instrument as they press and lift and glide.

"sing." I tell him.

"no!" he protests. I don't stop playing, only now getting into the thick of the tune.

"oh, come on. just the chorus..." I plead, turning my head to beg. "please?"

I bat my lashes playfully, fully intending it as a joke, but Matthew softens a bit. for a fraction of a second, I think he looks at my mouth. he turns his head back to the piano and lets out a quiet "here we are as in olden days... happy golden days of yore..."

"there you go!" I egg him on, and he starts to get more into it. his voice is absolutely off-key; he's no singer, and somehow that makes him even more endearing to me.

Matthew has always been this flawless, intimidating figure in my mind. even when we first met, I was certain that he was hiding something because everything else about him is so... perfect. he's funny, sweet, genuinely kind, handsomer than hell. it didn't make sense. but knowing that he can't carry a tune makes me feel a bit better. it humanizes his beauty.

while he sings, I can't help looking at him. his side profile is even more enchanting; the curve of his features meeting a smooth elegance in his jaw and cheek, especially when his mouth is open. he catches me smiling at him and returns it with his own gleeful face, now totally fine with singing like a fool in front of everyone. nobody is even really looking at us-- they're several drinks in and lost in their own universe of drunken laughter.

there's something kind of magical about that, I think. we're sober. when the song draws to a close, I lift my fingers off the keys and into my lap.

"you're quite the Pavarotti." I joke.

"the who?" he furrows his brow with a smile.

"he's a famous opera singer."

"oh," he laughs, "thanks, Mozart."

I twist my face up as I hide my smile. this is also part of the reason I could never tell Matthew how I feel; we just fit together too well. he almost always gets my references and I understand his, even though there's an age gap between us. he's an old soul with a youthful heart.

"how's your night going?" I ask him softly, changing the subject. he sets his hands on his lap, absent-mindedly toying with his fingers. it's not a nervous tendency at all. he does it whenever we're on set.

"as of right now? pretty damn good." he replies with a smile. I get warm again at the implication. he doesn't mean it like that, but god, do I wish he did.

"very smooth." I compliment appreciatively.

"how about you?"

"it was kind of boring, but then this rando sat next to me and started singing Christmas songs and it got a little better." I say flatly, grabbing my glass off the top of the piano and running my fingertip over the rim. he drops his head in a giggle.

"you're something else."

"insult?" I clarify.

"definitely a compliment."

"I like compliments."

"well, I wasn't lying before. you look really beautiful in that dress."

"the murder dress?" I glance down at it to hide the absolute wideness of my eyes at his words. he's completely flustering me and I'm starting to find it hard to breathe. he said I look beautiful. not "pretty," not "great"-- beautiful.

"yes, the murder dress." he gets a little pink in his cheeks, and that makes me want to explode on the spot.

"well, say goodbye to it because I'm gonna go change back into my plebeian clothes," I stand from the piano bench. "it's past my bedtime."

Matthew looks up at me with an unreadable expression and I feel my heart flutter in my chest. I hate leaving him. "do you wanna come with me? like-- walk with me?"

"sure." he nods, stands, and follows behind. I can feel his presence like a delightful reminder of the emotions surging in my stomach. we wind through the crowd of party-goers until we end up back in the dressing room, away from the party. it's quiet.

Matthew walks in with me, carrying our drinks in his hand, and he's about to stroll back out so I can change when I touch his arm. the door shuts automatically behind him.

"wait," I swallow quickly. "can you unzip me?"

"oh." Matthew looks at me, then at the glasses in his arms, then at the vanity. he sets them down and comes back quickly, his frame behind me while his fingertips locate the little piece at the top of my gown. my breath hitches in my throat when he brushes over my spine by accident, one nail dragging accidentally against my skin as the fabric slowly gives way. I don't know if he hears it-- it's nearly imperceptible-- but he definitely hesitates once he reaches the place where my back starts to curve into my ass. he pauses, doesn't breathe until he reaches the end of the zipper.

"there you go." he mutters. his voice is a little more hoarse than usual, and he clears his throat as he steps away. I know he's going to back out. he's going to back out of the room and wait for me to slip into nothing and I know, somehow, that he's going to be thinking about how I look in here with my clothes off. he's going to wish he stayed.

and I'm going to wish he'd done more than stayed.

before I can lose my nerve and allow the moment to be swallowed up by practicality, I shrug the straps of the dress down my shoulders and let gravity take over. it drops to the floor, leaving me in only my bra and panties. I can sense him behind me; he's silent for a moment.

"Matthew." I say, the name sitting on my tongue like a sugar cube. perfectly formed, slowly dissolving.

"y-yeah?" he stutters for the first time since I've met him.

"are you looking at my ass right now?" I ask, still turned around. the way he's frozen in place tells me that I'm right.

"yeah." he admits.

"you can touch it, if you want." I murmur softly. part of me doesn't think this is real, the way each sentence leaves my throat like it's been pre-planned. truly, I don't understand how my brain is moving so quickly.

"are you... sure?" he's hesitant, but even I can taste the longing.

"yes."

his hand smooths over my butt, softly at first like he's still not believing his own eyes, before moving back to grab it. he squeezes the flesh, and a low exhale from him tells me that he's excited.

"do you want more?" my voice barely carries. my head is almost foggy from how good it is to have his grip on my body, even in such a simple way. I can feel myself getting wet.

"how much more?" his lips brush over my shoulder and I get goosebumps. my mouth opens and closes for a moment, searching for the right words.

"however much you want."

it's flint and steel, the way he sparks. the air literally leaves my lungs when Matthew grabs my hips and spins me around to face him. my lips part as I peer up at him, at the lust that now darkens those hazel eyes and the way he holds mine. his touch is certain. he pulls our bodies together, tilts my chin up to kiss me.

it's passionate, strong, the kind of kiss that causes me to lean back a bit just to receive the full force of his desire. but I return the affection easily, moaning into his mouth. I've never been held the way that Matthew holds me. like I'm made of sugar glass, like he wants desperately to feel the soft give of my skin and make a home of me.

the heat between our bodies is almost overwhelming, and I sigh when he subtly pushes our hips together. his erection is against my stomach.

"fuck." I mutter when I pull away for air. Matthew doesn't stop his perfect movements, though, tugging my earlobe between his teeth and starting to leave love bites up my skin and over my shoulder. he chuckles against my throat. I shiver.

"you alright, little girl?" he asks.

"just--" I let out a moan at the sensation of his fingers exploring my bare waist. he reaches behind me to unclasp my bra. "just surprised."

"about?" he slides the straps down my shoulders and looks me in the eye. the lack of physical contact makes me whine.

"that you want me."

"how is that surprising?" he smiles, using one index finger to guide me to look at him.

"you don't seem like it."

Matthew raises his eyebrows as if I'm a crazy person. truly dumbstruck. "what?"

"you-- well, I don't know." I frown, but Matthew takes my hand and moves it over his torso until my palm is resting over the considerable bulge in his pants.

"is this enough proof?"

I struggle for words, sputtering. "yeah-- yeah, it is."

he bucks into my hand a little and I bite my lip, eyes moving up to meet his. something passes between us that I don't fully understand, but feel in my bones. I have never, in my life, wanted someone to fuck me as much as I want Matthew to fuck me right now. my jaw clenches.

"I need you." I tell him like this is the most relevant piece of information that will ever pass between us. he smirks.

"yeah?"

"mhmm."

"then lean against the wall and let me give you what you deserve." he orders. for a second, I try to think through what he means. then I look behind me at the open space and back up, him following me closely. his hands move up to cup my breasts, kneading and tweaking my nipples as he kisses my lips. the coolness against my back causes me to gasp, and he swallows the sound with his tongue before moving down my body.

he's torturously slow, taking one of my nipples into his mouth while he shrugs off his suit jacket. he switches to my other peak, one hand splayed over my stomach, and then proceeds southward with his lips. his kisses are delicate, open-mouthed, as they find their way to the waistband of my panties.

he hooks his fingers in them and looks up at me.

"can I eat you out, baby?" he asks. I bite my lip.

"please." like a beg.

"oh, you're polite tonight." he smirks, tugging the garment down my legs and discarding it somewhere in the room. I don't respond, and he doesn't seem to need me to, because he pushes one leg up for better access to my pussy. "let's see if it lasts."

my back curves off of the wall involuntarily when he holds the flat of his tongue against my clit suddenly, trying to roll my hips against his face. my fingers tangle in his hair, one leg resting over his shoulder.

he starts to flick at my clit. I lose grasp of my own language.

"Matthew, that feels so good, I--"

he attaches himself to my bundle of nerves, seemingly turned on by the sounds I'm making for him. he groans as he laps at the wetness between my legs, dipping into my folds and sucking the soul out of me. I whine and use his curls as leverage to gain more friction. he peers up at me.

"needy little girl." he mumbles against my pussy. I shove him back into me.

"make me cum, then." I beg. I can practically feel the devilish smirk on his face as he devours me like he'll never get enough. every twist and lick of his tongue is sending me to new places. I'm panting, chest heaving, while I grab my own tits and buck into his mouth.

he moans. my orgasm hits me like a wave, causing me to nearly thrash with pleasure as I cry out.

"Matthew, keep going, fuck yes!" I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, the culmination almost too much to bear as we hold contact. he stares into my fucking soul as he eats me out, and I want to stay like this forever. it's hard to support myself with my legs going weak, but I love it. the sensations are otherworldly. it's only when I'm about to collapse that I push his face away from me.

"I love your pussy." he tells me, licking his lips as he sets my legs down. I grin and let my head fall back against the wall.

"thanks."

"come here, princess." he takes hold of my hips and guides me over to the mirror, turning me so that he's standing behind my frame. the pet name causes me to smile.

"what?" I reference our reflection. he stares at me, reaching around to squeeze my tits.

"I wanna fuck you in the mirror." such a vulgar thing, said so beautifully. he kisses my cheek. "if that's okay with you."

"I don't care what position we do as long as you're fucking me." I breathe honestly. he chuckles and draws me towards him so his clothed boner is against my ass. I reach behind and work the button on his pants. he undoes the ones on his shirt. we're silent, him watching my naked body move like he's trying to memorize every detail.

when he's finally stripped, he lets me stroke his cock for a couple moments before pushing my upper back forward so I'm holding onto the sides of the mirror. I see him biting his lip as he lines himself up at my entrance.

"you ready?" he checks. I nod and he smiles at me once. pushing in, the smile melts into a jaw-dropped haze, eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Y/N..."

"it's so big." I try to breathe. he's so deep, I grip the mirror until my knuckles turn white. he's going to snap my body in two with the angle of his cock, filling me easily.

"tight little thing." he grunts as he holds himself inside. I can only watch in shock as I try to adjust to the sheer feeling of him. Matthew runs his hands over my sides, my ass, touching whatever he can. "how's that?"

I start to wiggle my hips and he groans at the feeling of my walls desperately swallowing him up. "Matthew, I need it."

"need what?" he thrusts into me and I have to fight a scream.

"need you."

"fuck... yes." he hisses out, sliding into me. "you're so wet I don't even need to try."

I bite my lip to withhold my sounds and he stares me in the eyes in the mirror as he starts to fuck me harder, building a pace with his hips. he growls a little if he hits certain angles, getting ruthless.

"so many times when I wanted to be inside you, princess..." he trails off. I start to play with my clit with one hand, using the other to stabilize myself with the mirror. the idea turns me on.

"when?"

"whenever you have attitude," he pants. "tonight, in that innocent fucking dress. making me wanna pound you like a little slut."

I make a high-pitched sound at the shudder of pleasure that jolts through my stomach at his words, wanting more. I've never heard him talk this way before.

"Matthew, shit--" I rub myself in circles, caught between watching his face and watching the way his hips slam into mine.

"you're begging to be fucked, you know that?"

"am I?" I smile sweetly in the mirror. we're in our own world, locked in a fantasy that I never want to leave. I can feel him in every corner of my body, sinking beneath my skin. he digs his nails into my ass.

"mhmm." he hums. I can feel the familiar weight in my stomach that indicates how close I'm getting. a knot that screams to be undone by his perfect length. I would do anything for more of this. I can taste everything good in the world on my tongue.

"I'm so close." I whine.

"I can tell," he studies my face in the mirror. "so pretty when you're breaking."

"oh--" I feel my thighs tense and my body pulses, the euphoria almost overwhelming. we move steadily, rhythmically, and he pushes my climax to new levels. "faster." I cry.

Matthew is quick to respond, gripping me closer while he plows into me like he's never going to have my body again. the sound of it is filthy, perfect, a mess. he groans at the sensation of my cunt pulsating around his cock.

"cum for me, princess." he moans, losing himself in the embrace of my core. the foggy stare in his eyes is like drowning in the ocean. I sink below, not caring at all about the consequences of him inside me. fuck working together; I need him. "where should I cum?"

"in me." I groan.

"beg." he commands easily, watching my face contort in pleasure. I could pretend to fight it, to give a little attitude, but I don't want to. I love begging for him.

"fill me up, Matthew. please." each word punctuated by the breathlessness of my voice. he gets even more ferocious with me, beating up my pussy until I'm sure he's going to leave me sore.

"right there, right there," he gasps, hitting the same spot that makes me go cross-eyed. "such a good little slut."

his cum shoots into me, deep and warm and erotically twisted, and I nearly collapse. it feels weird, but so good at the same time. full. he groans out my name and withdraws, quick to grab my shoulders and hold me up as I almost fall. I hadn't realized that most of my body weight was supported purely by his thrusts.

"whoa." he lets out a tired laugh, gentle in his touch. I'm heaving air into my lungs.

"sorry." I apologize, my body unstable.

"are you okay?" he seems genuinely concerned and I nod.

"yeah, I'm fine. just a little overwhelmed."

"here," he scoops me into his arms and brings me over to the old love seat in the dressing room, laying his jacket down before putting me on top of it. "can I get you something?"

"Sprite." I gesture to the glass on the vanity, and he smiles as he goes to get it. I gulp down whatever remains of it. "thanks."

"of course." he keeps glancing at my face and the red marks on my hips where he was clutching me like a lifeline. "I'm sorry."

"what?" I set the cup down. "don't ever be sorry for fucking me like that."

"no, I meant--" he laughs, but then he sees my playful expression and realizes that I'm genuinely alright. I think my legs were asleep.

"you're a saint." I tell him. he frowns and shakes his head bashfully. I'm already getting up and collecting my clothes. "or maybe what we just did prevents you from reaching sainthood. I don't know."

he places his hand on my lower back, kisses my forehead tenderly.

"seriously. you're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I assure him. "but I would be better with a milkshake."

Matthew breaks into a slow grin, staring at me like I've done something miraculous.

"how are you so perfect?"

[animesllut666]

"In my dreams... I know it seems odd."

Characters: Sesshomaru x FReader ft. Inuyasha, kagome, Jaken

Anime: Inuyasha

Type: Imagine

Warnings: Fluff, sadness, mention of death,

Part one

-+++++++++-

It's been two days, and you were having the time of your life.

Sure, there wasn't any running water for showers. But there were hot springs, no cars or proper roads. But with Kirara for transport, and Kagome bike. It worked out, though there was one thing that wasn't that fun.

"Can you stop looking at me?" You ordered, stomping your foot down on Inuyasha barefoot. He hollered, as he gripped his foot in his hands, hoping around on one foot, "Ow! That hurts you know! Im just trying to figure out why you look like Yua."

Yes, for the past two days, Inuyasha kept sniffing you, poking you, and starring at you. Asking questions, of bewilderment on why you looked like Yua.

Who you figured out, was Sesshomaru past lover. And had been killed, resulting in him going on a killing spree.

"Listen, I don't know why either, maybe she had a sister or brother. And then obviously, I'm like.. a reincarnation of her. Now, will you stop questioning it and looking at me. It's weird."

"It is very strange to be starring at a lady for a long period of time," Miroku chimed in, earning a glare from everyone. "You were literally drooling when we passed that priestess earlier."

"I had to make sure she was alright."

"Nothing even happened to her, she was just eating you weirdo."

Silence fell after the bickering, a peaceful walk resumed on the quest of finding the shards and also Naraku. Though, deep down you were hoping to run into Sesshomaru.

Little did you know, that he had caught word of your arrival when you first arrived. And also your sent a few hours ago, he had finally caught up with the whole group. Completely godsmacked by the resemblance of you and Yua.

"Master Sesshomaru, she is a spitting image. Maybe, it's the same situation as it is with Kagome! Oh, yo-" Jaken fell silent, turning his head at the sound of wind passing his ears.

"MASTER SESSHOMARU!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

The wind blew past the group, hair flying in faces and the sent of Sesshomaru hit Inuyasha nose. Though it was too late to holler and say anything, "Sesshomaru?" Kagome mumbled, her hand resting under her chin at the site of him.

He stood behind (__), his eyes focused only on her. "I want to say, it's you Yua, but your scent is different." He uttered, the young girl turned around slowly, eyes meeting as a warm feeling was felt. "Sesshomaru? You're Sesshomaru, right?" She questioned, even though she knew the answer was yes, he matched the man in her dreams.

"Indeed, I am Sesshomaru. Follow me," He ordered, lightly grabbing her hand, a sparkle was felt when their hands came in contact. A light gasp falling from them both, "Hold on, you can't just take he-."

"Sit boy."

"Why did you do that Kagome?" Shippo spoke up, "That IS Sesshomaru, he doesn't like us," Shippo stated a fact, his eyes burning holes into the head of Sesshomaru.

"I don't think he'll do anything, they'll be fine, anyways let's set up camp." She stated clapping her hands together.

"Make sure your back by tomorrow!" Kagome shouted towards the retreating figures.

"I've had dreams of you! I can't believe, I am meeting you right now. That you're real!"

The sentence was met with silence, Sesshomaru was still trying to figure out how you were here. Yes, he knew you were dead, killed by those band of demons that wanted revenge. But from his knowledge, and even your own, you had no family. Now, how were you here? How did you get reincarnated?

"Sesshomaru? May, I call you Sesshomaru?" You questioned, suddenly feeling shy by the man, "Yes, you may."

"Did I do something wrong? Are you alright? Have you ate?" You rambled on, becoming nervous by the tense silence from him.

"Everything is fine, sit." You hadn't realized you both had finally came to stand in the empty clearing. Though it was more of meadow, wild flowers and tall grass surrounded you both. Unwrapping your sweater from around your waist, you go to set it on the grass before a white robe was thrown down.

"Here, I know you don't like the tickle of grass.. well ... At least Yua didn't."

"No, youre right, I don't, Yua and I must have had more in common then just looks.. can you tell me about her?"

Sesshomaru smiled, for most that would have been enough to kill them from the sight of that smile. He never smiled, always the same stone cold face. Though for you, it was heart warming.

"I'd rather like too, yes.. tonight is the night of her death actually."

"Oh.. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, it's been years... Where to begin?" Sesshomaru questioned, deciding to start from the beginning.

His words filled the night air, as he recalled meeting Yua for the first time, and then the second, till they decided to travel together. Your ears were open, and your eyes wide as he recalled tails of the past. And that's what happened that night, he told you of the past, of the ancestor you resembled as you stared at a man that recalled his past love.

-------------------

[peralta-guaranteed]

I know it is au but jake and amy as a highschool sweethearts

I do love me a good AU but I barely ever write it...

- Jake is the class clown that everyone likes, but no one is really close friends with except for that little weirdo Charles he keeps protecting from the cool guys, and of course Gina, who he basically brought in from Elementary School and refused to let go even as she became popular (and she pretends she hates it, but she's also socially destroyed 5 people who tried to do him bad)

- Amy is leader of several disliked clubs, gearing up to be class valedictorian, and everyone pretends to 'like' her so they can copy her homework and get help for tests, but really the only friend she has is that weirdo Rosa who only shows up for class when she feels like it and rumours are she's held up a convenience store once, but her grades are still pretty damn good.

- they end up assigned with each other for several papers/presentations by Mr. Jeffords, who deeply hopes that Amy's work ethic might rub off on Jake, because he can see that the boy isn't stupid or lazy, really, but his marks are slipping every year.

- Amy absolutely hates it at first, because of course, and Jake covers her perfect notebooks with snack crumbs and drips and annoys the hell out of her. But he also does some surprisingly good research once he's interested, and helps her make and hold the first presentation her class doesn't fall asleep in halfway through. Even if it could've been better with a few more scientific phrases instead of 'cool rhymes'.

- Amy thinks she's done with him when she moves on to mostly AP classes, but he simply sits down next to her for lunch whenever (and no matter where she tries to hide, he finds her). Sometimes he brings Charles, or even Gina, sometimes Rosa joins them and stares him into silence, but it's still.... fun? Is that the word? Amy's not sure

- then one day they have lunch alone, even though she can see Charles watching them two tables down, and she knows Rosa is in school today. Anyway, Jake is drawing in his mashed potatoes and telling her about some TV show when he suddenly turns all stammery and weird. "So, Ames, I was wondering, uh, if we could, if you think you'd like to-" he tries to open his orange soda (brought from home, the cafeteria will never sell that) and it explodes all over the both of them. He can't apologise enough while she swears and runs to her locker to change into gym clothes for the rest of the day

- he's still apologising after their last class when he carries her wet plastic bag full of clothes to the school bus (she takes the bus, he usually walks home or hitches a ride with Gina, still saving up for a cool car now that he's got his learner's permit). "By the way" she asks when he hands over the bag and her school bag that he also took off her "what were you going to ask me?"

- "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh." She knows Jake's 'dial-tone' when he's thinking by now. "Tutoring. Was wondering. If you'd tutor me. Cause you're smart. And I'm not. And I really need to pass this year."

- they agree on a time for regular friday tutoring lessons, and when the bus door closes she can hear a slap and Gina's voice going "You were supposed to ask her out, you complete idiot" "Shuddup!"

- Anyway, fridays. They go over to each other's house for tutoring - Jake's when Mrs. Peralta is out for work and Amy knows her own place will be overflowing with siblings, Amy's when Jake needs to 'get away' because his dad is home, or some other annoying family member is visiting, or Mrs. Santiago is making the good Cuban grub and asks Jake if he'll stay for dinner. Amy figures out very quickly exactly how to motivate Jake and actually make him learn with some unorthodox teaching methods she's found online (she kinda doesn't want to tell him half of them are from ADHD support sites, but she definitely tells Mr. Jeffords, and suddenly class time for Jake becomes far more bearable).

- She starts... looking forward to friday and the last hour of school, which if you asked her parents, would be clear proof she's sick. But they also know Jake now, and he's slowly wormed his way into the Santiago family, and they see the way he looks at their daughter when she's drawing down a diagram for him, and they see how she looks when he leaves and turns to wave and almost falls over their trashcans in the frontyard.

- one friday afternoon on her way to Jake's, she gets caught in a rainstorm and rushes to his door, and he lends her some sweatpants and a flannel shirt. Then he declares that 'today is no day for learning!' with the storm brewing and thundering outside, and sets up some popcorn and hot chocolate instead. She wants to complain because she brought books, Jake, but they're all wet anyway and should stay closed to dry properly on his heating, so...

- Mrs. Peralta doesn't come home until midnight, and she finds them both deep asleep in front of the tv with popcorn all over their shared blanket. She calls Mrs. Santiago and tells her that Amy can sleep at theirs so she doesn't have to go through the still raining storm, and assures her she's getting the guest bedroom of course and nothing untoward is going to happen.

- (neither Jake nor Amy will ever tell anyone about exactly what happened before Karen came home. Because maybe there was a bit of leftover liqueur in their hot chocolates, 'just for fun', and maybe or maybe not they missed half of the movie because they were too busy, uuh, snorking)

- friday afternoon turns a bit awkward because they won't even mention that friday to each other, and both pretend like nothing happened and everything's fine but every time they accidentally touch over their papers it's like electricity makes them jump apart.

- Jake passes his classes with actual improvement, and even gets into two AP classes for the next year, and Amy accidentally mentions that he probably doesn't need tutoring anymore, so they.... stop.

- She thinks it's fine. She needs to focus on herself right now, on getting into a good college, and she should help him apply to colleges too, as a friend, but that's it. Everything else would just be a major distraction. He's been distracting her enough.

- thing is, he's in her AP classes, of course, because she's in all of them... They mostly ignore each other, and Mr. Holt doesn't assign them together for topics either. But they still do lunch with their weird little group of friends, and it almost seems normal during that hour. Amy's little brothers ask about the cool friend that used to play transformers with them, and Camila gives her a lunchbag for him from time to time with some good Cuban cooking. Karen tries to breach the topic once and is quickly shut down with an eyeroll and a "GOD, mom, don't be weird" and a sad look she knows too well. Roger, on one of his rare weekend visits, slaps his shoulder and tells him there's going to be loads of girls in college.

- Jake hurts. Then he tries to get over it. Then Gina sits him down, Rosa in tow, and tells him to get his head out of his ass, and take Amy with him, too. They recruit Charles into it as well, and in the end Jake and his best bud sit down to plan.

- Amy finds a a little handmade booklet with crossword puzzles about high school and her friends and classes? in her gym clothes in her locker (how did it even get in there, past like 3 forms of 'security')?? She spends all day during breaks to solve it, and, to be honest, a little bit of Mr. Holt's free reading period as well. The crosswords' collective solution leads her to Mr. Jeffords' classroom after class is over, and Jake is there too? She thinks she can see Charles hiding in the corner? But before she can ask, he asks her, to Prom of all places.

- Prom is a blast. Gina becomes Prom Queen and picks Rosa as her King. Charles spikes the punchbowl with some unpronouncable imported vodka-esque alcohol. Jake notices barely half of it because Amy Santiago is wearing a dark green dress, the same colour as his boutonniere and dress shirt, and she's dancing with him, and she's smiling all the time, and then she pulls him into their gym's supply closet away from the party.

- they all share a cheap cab to some fast food diner (Gina refused to drive because she wanted to drink, and Jake still doesn't have a car, because he spent his car-savings on a necklace and earrings for Amy's last birthday that she wore for Prom tonight) and later, when Gina has told Amy in no uncertain terms that Mrs. Peralta is out for something work-related the entire weekend, Jake and Amy share another perfect batch of hot chocolate. And she definitely doesn't get the guest bedroom after calling her mom to tell her she won't be home.

[bxdbxdboy]

“So y’all should know at twelve years old okay. I had a Stash. Hidden from both of my parents of course. Now this was back ‘n when things were pretty rocky with my rents you feel me. Any additional drama would rock the boat for Mom. So after sneaking on all the dirty sites and scouring to find collections.” 

“One day I look at it with a fresh pair of eyes and I start thinking about my Mama and I say. 

“What am I doing Bro?” “If my mom saw this it would break her heart. She’d come in my room and be like “Whoa! Whoa! Mija! What is that? WHERE ON EARTH WOULD YOU-NOT UH!” Man I just couldn’t live with that at that age. I’m Wholesome!” 

“So the next day I’m thinkin’ “I gotta throw this away!” 

“As a dramatic kid you can’t just throw it in the garbage okay? My collection deserved a better farewell. Okay this was not just me throwing away pictures this is Time. This needs to be theatrical!” 

“I’m gonna Burn it.” 

“Coincidently enough my Dad like to burn stuff too. He had a bin and I said “I wanna burn something.” So I just turned that age where your parents start leaving you at home alone more. So I thought to myself, 

“Okay. Next time I’m home alone. We gonna go out Back. And we’s gonna have a BARBEQUE!” 

“Low and behold a few days later I go outside and let my dad’s dog outside. I realize out there. “Yo I’m home alone. I guess today’s the Day!” 

“I turn around to go grab my stash and my Dad magically appears. I didn’t hear alarm beeps no nothing! He just vaporized out of nowhere magically. So coming out to our back door we got the main patio and my dad has his own door leading into his bedroom off to the side. Me thinkin’ quick on my toes I whistle to the dog.”

“Here, boy! Where’d you run off to?” 

“I collect him and we go back inside. We Gucci Snakes.” 

“Next day home alone. I get my dad’s dog I grab my stash. Head outside look around Dad’s not here. Gucci Snakes. Go over to the bin throw all the stuff in the bin. We got a lot of thumb drives in there, We might have had some calendars. I won’t go into detail. 

“We might have had one or two drawings that I might have done myself ha ha ha You can’t confirm nor-deny This shall never hold up in court you got No Evidence! THIS WAS THE PURGE! Mom I swear to you I’m wholesome! Full Cleansing.” 

“I go to burn this stuff. “Ugh! I’m an Idiot! I forgot the matches.” 

“Boom! My DAD IS STANDING RIGHT-THERE DUDE! WHERE DID YOU COME FROMM?! NO ALARM BEEP FOR THE DOOR WHEN IT OPENed NO NOTHING!” 

“Why are you sneaking into your own house on and comin’ straight to the patio anyways? You’re Sus! Not Me!” 

“This dude is just staring at me. I am so committed to this y’all. There’s no getting out of it. He has me Dead-to-Rights! I don’t know how long he’s been out there! I don’t know what he’s seen! The fact that he caught me stumbling around yesterday then he catches me again out here Today! 

“So now I’m like: “Fluff it! Two Tears in a Bucket!” I don’t even care anymore! I go inside I grab the matches. I come outside like: “Maaan..mMmnN-Whatever Dude!” 

“I come back outside I got my matches I don’t say nothin’ to’ him!” (Match noises) Pssh! Pssh! Scrape! 

“First one doesn’t light.” 

“Whatever.” 

Pssh! Pssh! Scrape! Sph! 

“Second match doesn’t light. None of these Matches wanna light! Why is this happening to Meeee! Man! Screw it! I’m busted anyway.” 

“Dad. Can you come over here. Please.” 

He comes closer so he peers in and he see’s the MOTHERLOAD and he goes. 

“What’s up?”

“Can you-(sigh) can you help me light this match so I can burn this stuff?” 

“How weird do I look right now YA'LL? You know, it’s one thing to be a freak and a weirdo collect this stuff, but it’s Another thing to be out here lookin’ like a Weirdo out here tryna’ Burn this shit! You know, what I’m sayin’? Why couldn’t I just throw it away like a normal person?” 

The very First match this dude “Pshh!” And it LIGHTS and he tosses it in!! 

I don’t know if any of you’s--guys out here having battles with addictions, but hopefully all the embarrassment I had to endure from this brought you some entertainment.”