#anyway this is like the 5th or 6th one I’ve gotten
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Ciri, quietly pondering to herself: ‘ Do not let him know how awkward you are. ‘
Roche: Nice weather.
Ciri: Oh, thanks—. . . What?
You know what, I can totally see Ciri falling for this guy
I mean I know nothing about his personality or skills, but he has a motorcycle. I approve of this Witcher x final fantasy ship! Maybe. Idk. Like I said I literally know nothing about him and I refuse to do more than an image search. Anyway he looks like he’d be awkward too! I don’t write for either of those fandoms, so I’m not taking that as a prompt.
#roche ff7#cirilla fiona elen riannon#Witcher x final fantasy#if that is not ff7 Roche I’m sorry#pls don’t blame me blame Google#anyway please stop bothering me#write your own rare pair fics#you know who ships voltehre x Schrödinger?#me I do#so I wrote my own fics for it and screamed at my friends#but I never bugged people to the point of annoyance about them#listen I have created three Witcher rare pairs with help#you will get no sympathy from me#i have to underline with help#thank you one who actually did 75% of the heavy lifting#I just went “hey what if”#buckle down and write your own fics#stop annoying people with asks#and then maybe people will stop hating the ship so much#to all the non Witcher people seeing this:#this person has been spamming Witcher blogs with anon asks about this ship for a very long time#and even when ignored or reported or whatever#does not stop#and we’re all kinda sick of it at this point#anyway this is like the 5th or 6th one I’ve gotten#usually I just delete them but I’m in a bad mood today
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❛❛ 15 Years of Un-Convayed Words ❜❜
✎ ❛❛ I wonder when will I finally receive a reply from you... ❜❜
Pairing(s): Dottore x GN!reader
Genre/Format: Angst (Letters)
Warning(s): 3.2 archon quest SPOLIERS, mention of death, use of Dottore's (speculated) real name and lore, may not be lore accurate so don't come at me, poorly written poems (my excuse here is I'm writing as Dottore)
wc: ~1.8k
Notes: I got the idea from this song. I was contemplating if I should write angst with no comfort and I said eff it. Well, please enjoy this one! Any feedback is greatly appreciated ♡
1st year
Dear (Y/n),
Hello, Love. How are you doing? I’ve missed you so much so I decided to start writing you letters everyday. You’re the person of literature here, not me. So don’t laugh at my letters, okay? For my first letter to you. I’ve made up a poem.
Like a moon to its star,
I revolve only around you.
Though you may be far,
My love for you only grew.
Ha, not too bad for my first poem, right? Alright, maybe it is… But hey, at least I tried. You gotta give me at least some credits there. I know it’s short but I have to go back to studying now. I’ll write you another one later. I love you.
Your one and only,
Zandik ♡
2nd year
Dear (Y/n),
Greetings, Love. I wonder what’s on your mind right now? For me, it’s you. I always get distracted whenever you’re on my mind. Just today, I got so distracted I didn’t even notice my experiment was overflowing with explosive liquids. It wasn’t until I heard an explosion that I noticed the place had become a mess. Heh, you’d laugh if you saw this. Since I'm always thinking of you, here's another poem I wrote for you.
Are you a type of alcohol?
Addicted to you,
I began to fall.
Or are you perhaps a glue?
So drawn to you,
I haven't gotten a clue.
Or are you a cloud of mist?
Trapped in your fog of love,
I am abliss.
What do you think? Better than the last one maybe? Anyways, how are you fairing, my dear? I hope you’re doing well.
Your one and only,
Zandik ♡
3rd year
Dear (Y/n),
You’d be proud if you saw me now. As I grew older, I’ve also gotten more mature. I started to balance my work and rest like you always wanted me to. And you’re right, it does make things easier for me. I'm sorry for not listening to you earlier. That reminds me, I miss eating your cookies. Hopefully I’ll get to have them again one day. Has anything new happened to you, recently?
Your only love,
Zandik ♡
4th year
Dear (Y/n),
Got something exciting to share with you, my love. I went on an expedition with some other researchers today. It was a pretty nice trip, I’d say. There were a lot of things for me to tinker with. Especially some abandoned automatons. I wanted to bring some with me back to the academia but they banned it because of some fool. Pretty idiotic, right? These mechanical parts are too good to be left there. And no one even uses them anymore. Maybe if I sneaked only a small portion of them to The Academia, no one would notice… What do you think, (Y/n)?
Your only love,
Zandik ♡
5th year
Dear (Y/n),
Bad news, I got kicked out of The Academia today. I got careless and accidentally left a mechanical part at the lab. Someone also discovered that I did some… not so pleasant things. Such foolish sages. I was making some groundbreaking discoveries, and in return I got expelled? I have nowhere to go now. If only you were here to guide me… What do I do now?
Your favourite,
Zandik ♡
6th year
Dear (Y/n),
Don’t worry, my dear. I managed to find shelter in a cave. I finally got some time to sit and write a letter to you. I’m sorry I haven’t written to you in weeks. I was busy setting things up in the cave. Although, still not quite a home, it looks a lot cozier now. Trying to survive out here in the wild is hard. I only managed to find some berries and caught a fish or two to sustain myself.
Anyways, I was conducting some more experiments with the equipment that I could salvage when all of the sudden a guy with a strange mask somehow found me. He said he was a diplomat from Snezhnaya. Apparently, they have an organization called the “Fatui” and asked me to join them. I was skeptical at first but then he said there was a research facility full of experimenting supplies. Now, that got me perked up. I’ve got nothing to lose. So might as well, right?
Your favourite,
Zandik ♡
7th year
Dear (Y/n),
This place is massive. You’ve got to see what they have here, Love. So many things to work with. And to think I got this place all to myself? And I get to create anything with no restrictions? Hah! The possibilities are endless! And by joining them I got myself the title – Dottore, The Doctor. You’ve always said I have what it takes to become a doctor. Even if I’m not a licensed one. I suppose this counts too?
Anyways, I made a tiny model of you out of the remains of a ruin guard to remind myself of you. How I missed seeing you. No matter how many models I make, they’ll never be worthy enough to match your beauty. Tell me, Love. Got anything new to share? I’d love to hear from you.
Your favourite,
Zandik ♡
8th year
Dear (Y/n),
It’s been a while since I’ve stayed here. Things have been going pretty well. Ah, and with how many letters I’ve written to you. I found myself to have improved a bit. Here’s a little poem I thought of while doing some research on a flower. It reminded me of you.
Like a white lily,
You have the purest of heart.
Like a white lily,
You are a work of art.
Like a white lily,
Your beauty is true.
Like a white lily,
You have captured my CO2 .
(Get it, Dear? It’s like you took my breath away, and plants absorb carbon dioxide to carry out photosynthesis.)
I could hear you laughing all the way over here, you know? Not the best, I know. But I tried. Writing poems is never my forte. I’ll never know how you could write them ever so flawlessly.
Your one and only,
Zandik ♡
9th year
Dear My Love,
Hello, Love. My apologies for not having written anything to you for a while. I was conducting my experiments as usual but an accident happened. Do not worry, Love. I’m perfectly fine. Though, it might have affected my memories as they have gotten a bit blurry… Unfortunately, I seemed to have forgotten your name, as well. But do not fret, my love for you is still the same. I’ll remember your name, eventually.
Your one and only,
Zandik ♡
10th year
Dear Dove,
Dove… is a pretty suiting name to call you. Do you like it? My memories still haven’t come back yet… It’s been a year. I did not expect it to last this long. Still, what’s important is that I know my heart belongs to you. Whenever I think of writing letters to you, my heart starts to beat so loudly. It is a nice feeling. Have you been eating well? Got enough rest? I wouldn’t want you to be sick now.
Yours forever,
Zandik ♡
11th year
Dear Dove,
Time flies and another year has passed. Still no progress on recalling your name yet. I’m starting to worry. What if I never remember who you are? I can’t let that happen… Well, there’s no use in worrying. How about I tell you what happened today, instead? I created a machine, in which I could clone myself with. It’s a project I’ve been working on for a long time now. And it was a success. I think you’d find it amusing that there are two of me. Would it be a blessing, or a curse for you?
Yours forever,
Zandik ♡
12th year
Dear (Y/n),
Finally, I remembered your name! I was working when I heard one of my clones (the me from the academia days) muttered something about “(Y/n) bakes the best cookies.” And that hit me, your name is (Y/n). What a beautiful name it is. It rolled off of my tongue just as smooth as Teyvat’s finest silk. I still haven’t remembered everything yet. But that’s alright. They’ll come back to me in no time.
Yours forever,
Zandik ♡
13th year
Dear (Y/n),
I recalled something today. Remember the time when we first met? Haha, the first time I’ve ever laid my eyes on you. I was convinced that I saw an angel. And when you turned to look at me. I could feel something happening to my stomach. I thought you’ve put some kind of spell on me. But that’s just me falling for you without me knowing for the first time. Winter is right around the corner. Remember to wear enough clothes, alright?
Yours forever,
Zandik ♡
14th year
Dear (Y/n),
Today was not a great day. I’ve put in countless amounts of time and plenty of blood and sweat into building a new god for Sumeru. Only for it to get destroyed in just one day. How absurd… But nevermind that. I took joy in building it and I got what I came here for. If only you were here, Dear. I know you’d work your magic on me to make me feel better.
Yours forever,
Zandik ♡
15th year
Dear (Y/n),
I remember everything now… The illness… And how it took you away from me… The moment I remembered it, I felt light-headed. I felt as if a part of me was ripped out. So that’s why I never received any reply from you. Was all these years of writing wasted? No… No… You’ll still get to read them. If I have the power to create a god, then certainly, I also have the power to find a way for you to see these letters? Or maybe you’ve been watching me write these for you? Perhaps one day, I’ll find a way for these words to reach you, eventually. Until then, prepare yourself, Love. You’re going to need fifteen years to read them all. Well, maybe even more because I’m not going to stop writing to you.
Say, it's been a while since I've last written a poem to you. How about I write another one for you?
Lost in a raging storm,
I longed to feel something warm.
Lost in the heavy rain,
I longed to hear you again.
Lost in an ocean of coldness,
I longed to see a glimpse of us.
Sent from the sky above,
There you stood so full of love.
With you here around,
At last, I am found.
I love you (Y/n), no matter where you are. I love you. I always have.
Your forever love,
Zandik ♡
.
.
.
Dottore kissed the envelope as he muttered the words "I missed you so, so much, (Y/n)." Before he put it into a bin filled with piles of letters.
#genshin x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin x yn#genshin x you#genshin impact#genshin impact x y/n#genshin impact x reader#genshin#dottore#dottore x y/n#dottore x you#dottore x reader#genshin dottore#dottore angst#fatui harbingers x reader#fatui harbingers#fatui x you#fatui x reader#fatui
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Coming here again for uhh the 5th or 6th time just to say that ME AND LUTE WEREN’T IN LOVE.
I hate how the Hazbin Hotel fandom is shipping me with Lute just because I smiled at her before I died. We weren’t in love. I was only close with her, I’ve seen her as my 2nd in command and my best friend. Nothing more than that.
PLUS I WAS FUCKING GAY AS SHIT.
Anyways, I only smiled at her because I knew she’d do a good job for taking my place, I hope she did, but if she didn’t, I’m still proud of her. She took my responsibility. It’s a hard thing to do.
I also really wanna say that I’m the real reincarnation of Adam JUST BECAUSE I REALLY WANNA BE THE ONLY ONE AND I HAVE REASONS!1!1!1!1 but I know there’s other adam kins so.. *sad sigh*
Last night I was also in a FULL Adam shift, I absolutely hate how I had muscle memory. Because I felt pain in my stomach and on my arm. It hurt a lot. I also kept feeling stings where my wings are supposed to be, and it kept making me think if I had gotten them crushed once in a past extermination. I ALSO SAW MY WINGS FROM MY OWN SHADOW!! It got me so excited and I literally looked to see if something was making it look like my wings, nothing did! God, I even realized I felt comfortable with having this as my identity. I can’t see myself as ANY of my other kins. It feels weird to be in a body that I KNOW isn’t mine.
-Adam (Hazbin Hotel)
x
#fictionkinfessions#fictionkin#adamkin#hazbinhotelkin#anty ship#death cw#caps cw#injuries cw#arm trauma cw#wing trauma cw#mod party cat
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Hellfire’s Mama fox; Eddie Munson x fem!oc Chap. 6.1
*Author’s note*
HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY EDDIE MUNSON!!! One year ago today you came onto the show and literally stole ALL of our hearts. Unfortunately I couldn’t get the whole chapter done but I’d be damned if I didn’t at least post up something in honor of the one year of season 4 of Stranger things for his debut. So to any and all readers out there enjoy part one of this chapter and I hope to have part two up in like a day or so.
Now this chapter specifically is set in Eddie’s POV cause one I said it could be and two it’ll really show just how much Eddie cares for Roxxi and it really needed to be from his POV esp. this chapter after what happened in the last chapter.
Warnings: Flirty Eddie MAJOR FLIRT AND TEASE!! Some mentions of angst, mentions of suicide (past event not current in this timeline), fluff, SMUT (the next part will be some MAJOR smut so underaged blogs or bot blogs you’ll be blocked I’LL BE CHECKING)!!
Chapter 6;
The Bard and the Elf-witch’s anniversary
6.2 CONTINUES HERE
Taglist:
@plethora-of-things
@waddles03
@psychosupernatural
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
@queen-paladin
@assassinsasha23
@gay-and-ready-to-cry
@sweetpeapod
_________________________________________________________
*Eddie’s POV*
The rest of the week went by in a blur. Even though she says she’s fine, I knew Roxxi still kept thinking back to her encounter with her cousin Steve Harrington. God if only I had known, hell I’ve been over to Family video throughout the summer and I didn’t even see Harrington once whilst I went in there to rent Wayne and me a movie.
It was Friday and as unfortunate as it is, I had begged Roxxi to take a mental health day. She didn’t need the stress of Fridays piling up on her with all that’s been buzzing on her mind. And as promised (more like forced) I had agreed to come to class and take notes for her.
Truthfully I hated leaving her alone when she got this way. The last time she was like this after an encounter with Steve, she had slit her wrists in her own bathroom. Had I not gotten there in time, I—I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened.
“Eddie, you alright man?” asked Gareth.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just thinking about Roxxi.” I said picking out a pretzel from my bag and popping it into my mouth.
“You still wanna go through with Hellfire tonight?”
“Of course. You know the rules. Just didn’t feel right leaving her alone today, that’s all.”
“Still going off about you know who?” asked Jeff as he sat down with his lunch. I hummed with a soft nod. “Say isn’t yall’s anniversary coming up or something?” I perked up.
“Already? Jesus Christ last year it felt like a fucking eternity for it to come.”
“Maybe you can cheer her up on your anniversary. You always seem to make her day brighter every September the 21st.” Gareth said.
“What’s September 21st?” Dustin’s voice soon spoke up as he and Mike finally joined out table.
“Eddie and Roxxi’s anniversary.” Gareth told them.
“Wait so you guys—are you guys really married or is it like—” Mike started off but I flicked a pretzel at his head.
“No you little shithead.” Not yet anyways. “Today marks the first time Roxxi and I met back in the sixth grade. She wore a Queen t-shirt, which I’ll praise her for. Her hair was done in a tight-knit ponytail and she had in her hands her journal which had various band and solo artist names written all over it. All ranging from Queen to REM, to Elton John and Bowie. Even Fleetwood Mac made the cut. She sat down at a table far in the corner, looking like a lost little fox kit. But that’s to be expected when someone goes from the 4th to 6th grade.”
“Wait she what?” asked Dustin incredulously.
“Oh yeah. Back in the day she was like a female Einstein or some shit. So much so the school board thought she could skip the 5th grade entirely and go straight into sixth. Which made her a target to some of the sixth grade bullies.”
“And one day I saw her being tossed around by said jerk wads. They were literally tossing her around in the alleyway between there and the high school.” Gareth first started out the tale I’ve always told of my meeting with my One.
“So gathering my courage, I preformed my best Gollum impression and made the boys piss themselves and run like cowardly dogs.” Jeff said. “But then, just as I was about to ask if she was alright, she looked up at me with those hypnotic, piercing (e/c) eyes of hers.”
“And it was then I knew,” both he and Jeff struck themselves in the heart finishing my tale.
“I was hooked.” They both finished together, to which the whole table began to laugh. I smirked snidely before standing up and chuckling alongside them as I sat myself between both Jeff and Gareth. Placing my hand on their shoulders, I looked between the two of them before quickly pulling them both up. I wrapped my arms over their necks bringing them close as I told them.
“And without the two of us, there wouldn’t be a Hellfire for you guys. And without her, you guys wouldn’t have become my lead bass and drummer for Corroded Coffin. So be thankful that I met her that day, for without her, there’d be no us. So show some respect to your DM’s first meeting, okay?”
“Yes Eddie.” They both shuddered nervously. I smirked and gave them a playful slap in the face as I gathered my shit up.
“Now if you all will excuse me, I have some planning to do before Monday. Hellfire’s still happening, 3pm sharp. Don’t be late.” I walked out of the cafeteria and headed to the library for some quiet time planning on how to make this anniversary more special than all the others in the past.
After school I went over to the payphone to give my Queen a call and to check up on her. The phone rang a couple of times, my heart racing hoping she’d answer until I heard the click and her voice came on the other end.
‘Hello?’
“There’s my gorgeous girl.” I said leaning up against the payphone.
‘I take it that school went okay?’
“Babe, it’s school. It never goes okay with me. Boring lectures and even boring-er teachers.”
‘And this is why you’re failing English. Boring-er is not a word.’
“All words are made up Mama, isn’t that why we have our own English language while the British supposedly have theirs?”
‘Touché I’ll give you that.’ I grinned victoriously.
“But I’m sure you had a more fun day than me. At least you didn’t have to deal with O’Donnell’s nagging voice for a day.”
‘Just sat around, cleaned up a bit, watched some TV.’
“See you got to have all the fun.” I teased and I knew she was rolling her eyes at me statement.
‘I also finished that last bit of leftover pizza from last weekend. So if you were looking forward to that, sorry.’
“No worries. I’m already planning on having something else for dinner.” I lowly sung out seductively twirling the cord around my finger.
‘Eddie Munson! You eating me out does not equal a meal!’ I couldn’t help but smirk. Oh man she was so easy to fluster sometimes.
“Actually sweetheart what I was going to suggest was some Benny’s but maybe I should go with your idea. After all you are better than any burger or milkshake they could ever make.”
‘I walked right into that one didn’t I?’
“Yes you did.” I heard her groan as I let out a chuckle. “In all seriousness, you’re okay right?”
‘Yes love. I am. You were right, I just—needed to take a day for myself. But that doesn’t mean this should happen more than three times. Remember we’re graduating together.’
“I know, I know. This will count as day 1. After Hellfire, I’ll pick up some Benny’s and then I’ll be home okay?”
‘Sounds good. Kick some ass and wow the guys tonight.’
“As always. But you know it’s not the same without my Dungeon Mistress.”
‘Get home sooner and maybe we can make up our own campaign. One on one.’
“Oh babe don’t tempt me.” I heard her chuckle.
‘Okay tough guy, I’ll see you whenever you’re done. Better get going it’s almost three.’ I looked down at my watch and saw that she was right.
“Shit! Okay babe sweet you love you so much buh-bye!” I hung up the phone and quickly raced towards the theatre to start the campaign for the day.
As promised, after the campaign was over I drove to Benny’s, picked up our order and then drove back to the trailer. I parked the van and right there on the porch I saw my beloved feeding one of the local stray cats that come by our trailer.
Ozzy, a skinny black cat with orange eyes was a favorite of ours. He came around just shortly after Roxxi had moved in with Wayne and I, abandoned by his own mother so Roxxi took it upon herself to feed him and take care of him.
“Honey, I’m home.” I sung out as I held up the food. She and Ozzy turned to me and Ozzy let out a loud meow in hello. “Hey to you too Ozzy, hadn’t seen you in a while. Hope you’ve been making good choices.” He let out another meow as he raised a paw in the air to the bag of food.
“Ozzy, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times.” Roxxi started off as she picked him up. “You do not eat people food, it’s not good for you.” He let out another low meow as he squirmed in her arms wanting to be put down. “Now go eat your wet food like a good kitty.” She reprimanded as Ozzy went back to the can of wet food and ate from it. “What are we gonna do with him?”
“No idea. I swear in another life he must’ve been human.” I said shrugging as the two of us went inside.
“I wish we could take him in as our own cat.”
“Me too babe but you know Wayne’s allergic to cats.”
“I know. And I don’t want the old man to be held up because of something he can’t control. It’s just with Halloween around the corner, I worry for his safety.” I set the food down and wrapped my arms around her, burying my face into her neck.
“He’s resourceful, and cunning. Just like his mama.” She smiled softly as I pecked her cheek. “Now c’mon, let’s eat.” We headed to the kitchen and gathered our food before heading to the couch and turned on the tv.
“So how was the campaign tonight?” she asked.
“The boys didn’t expect that twist you suggested to me. Totally threw them off and fucked their entire gameplan they had going.” She smirked softly. “And speaking of campaigns, your upcoming Halloween one, you still gonna do it?”
“Uhh duh!” she said as if she were answering a dumb question.
“I just wanted to be sure you weren’t pulling my leg when I saw your holiday campaign folder. You got it all done and checked out? Sure you don’t need me to have a quick peak?”
“I already told you Eddie, no peeping toms at my Halloween campaign. Now did you managed to find your Beren character sheet?”
“Yeah. Finally after digging through my locker I managed to find it. Still haven’t found his figurine though. Jesus I wish I knew where that went.”
“Maybe I’ll talk to Sinclair about it. I’m told his sister’s been getting into the game and made the guys current figurines. Maybe she can make you a new one.”
“Ahh yes, Sinclair’s infamous sister. Wonder if we’ll stick around to see her enter High school?”
“Don’t go talking like that Eds. We’re gonna get out of here, and then every summer we might just visit and reunite with the Hellfire gang. And who knows, maybe Henderson could take over as DM when we go.”
“He does show much potential. Though the kid needs to get his ego in check, I swear that tone of his is gonna get him into trouble one of these days.” I pulled her close so her back was against my chest before laying a kiss to the top of her head and looked down at her wolf tattoo.
I took her tattooed arm and raised it up before lifting my other arm which had the fox tattoo and had our forearms placed together.
“It really was a great idea meleth nin. Especially when we have the other’s animal spirit tattooed on us.”
“If you ask me, you’re more of the fox than I.”
“What?!”
“Oh c’mon Eddie you’ve seen the foxes that come out every now and then. They’re full of energy, hyperactive and above all extremely dorky but they do it so adorably. If anything maybe I should just call you Papa fox instead.”
“Excuse me? Who are you calling a dork?” I asked offensively but in a playful manner.
“I said adorably dorky.” Well I wasn’t gonna take that lying down. Without a word, I stood up and walked briefly away from her, my back facing her as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Eddie? Eddie come on. I didn’t mean anything by it!” oh she was too cute whenever she pleaded like that. “Eddie please don’t be mad, I’m sorry okay? I just—” that’s when I made my attack.
With a cry I quickly gathered her up in my arms and carried her towards the bedroom and dropped her on my bed.
“You big, sneaky, son of a—” I then pounced on top of her, my body hovering over hers as I pinned her arms above her head. I noticed how her breathing hitched and I knew her heart was racing. I gave her a devious smirk before lowering my face down to her neck and kissed her pulse point, the one spot I knew got her every time.
I softly growled as I kissed and nipped at her neck while I felt her squirm underneath me and she let out her sweet little mewls that always got me.
“I am the only wolf in this pair,” I whispered huskily into her neck. “Ever question that again,” I kissed down the right side of her neck. “And the Big, Bad Wolf will come for you. And he’s not so merciful, especially towards beautiful girls.” After a few more kisses on her neck to fully drop her guard, I made my real attack.
I blew a raspberry right into the right side of her neck that she had now fully exposed to me. She let out a screeched laughter as I felt her legs kick under me but I placed my hips down to hers to pin her fully as I continued to deliver my raspberry attack to her soft, sensitive neck.
“Eddie! EDDIE NOHAHAHA! STOHAHAP!” she spoke through her laughter. God I swear no drug on earth could compare to her laughter, I could get hooked on it forever. “NO NOT THAT! NOT THE WOLFIE NIBBLES AHEHEHE!!” oh yes the wolf nibbles my darling. Along with raspberries she loved hated whenever I could give her some ticklish nibbles.
All across her neck and shoulders and even her collarbone I gave her nibbles, raspberries and ticklish kisses (with kissing sounds included). Finally I decided to take pity on her and cease my attack leaving her a panting mess.
“What….was that….for?” she whined softly as she tried to catch her breath.
“What? Can’t I show my best girl how much I love her?” I asked nonchalantly.
“That was mean Eddie!” she whined sadly. “You tricked me and then tortured me.” Aww my poor sweet girl.
“Okay maybe I did go a bit too far, forgive me?” I asked with a head tilt and cutely nudged my nose against hers as I stared deeply into her eyes.
“Will you give me snuggles and no tickles?”
“I swear.” I said crossing my heart.
“Then I forgive you.” I smiled and gave her a sweet kiss to her lips before rolling on my back and brought her close to my chest, her face burying just above my heart. I kissed her forehead as I wrapped my arms around her, my thumb stroking her bicep softly while my other hand stroked through her hair.
Jesus Christ how did I ever get so lucky to get a girl like this to fall for me? She truly was an ethereal Elven princess who fell for the lowly Bard Ranger. And come Monday, I’m gonna make this the best anniversary she’s ever known.
Monday soon came. The one thing that sucks about today is that we’ll have to spend most of our anniversary at school, but on a brighter side at least I don’t have to worry about not having one class without her today.
I got up as early as I could and started to prepare us breakfast. Now I’m no gourmet chef or anything like that, but I do know how to make a mean Munson Supreme (eggs sunny side up, bacon, and orange juice). After setting up the table with some wild flowers I had picked up outside in a cup as the center piece, I heard my girl’s footsteps coming into the kitchen.
“Good morning my Queen.” She looked at the table then up at me before asking me.
“Is it today?” I nodded as I took one of the flowers from the center piece and held it out to her.
“Happy anniversary Roxxi.” She took the flower and sniffed it softly. She came up to me and kissed my cheek lovingly.
“Who would’ve thought on a Monday you’d get up this early and do all this?”
“Ye have little faith in me my beloved. I’m wounded.” She giggled as she shook her head.
“But I love it Teddy-bear. And I see you’ve made your Munson Supreme.”
“Only the best for my girl.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close and nuzzled our noses together. I forced myself away from her and pulled out her chair for her to sit down. She thanked me and I pulled her chair in as I gathered up and prepared her breakfast on a tray. “If you had stayed in bed a bit longer, I could’ve served you breakfast in bed.”
“Woke up to feel that my teddy bear wasn’t beside me anymore. You know I sleep better with you by my side.”
“Same goes for me Foxy Roxxi.” I winked at her.
“Your animal nickname is much cuter.”
“Yours is adorable. And sexy if I might also add.” She rolled her eyes as she began to eat her eggs.
“Agree to disagree.” Even though I didn’t want to, I nodded to her. “So, besides school, any plans you’ve got for us tonight?”
“And that’s where we divert from the previous years. This is a special anniversary for you my darling, you won’t know what I’ve got planned for us.”
“Okay I see you. Very well, I’ll trust you on this Eddie. But if you take me somewhere just to murder me, I’ll come back and haunt your ass.”
“Damn you caught me. My ultimate plan was to kill you by cuddles and tickles.” She playfully glared at me. I cheekily grinned at her before blowing her a kiss as we continued our breakfast.
We did our morning ritual as always and once we were backed up ready for school, I quickly raced out and opened the door for her as I extended my hand for her to take. She thanked me again as she got into the van and I shut the door behind her. I went back around to the driver’s side and told her as I started the engine.
“Okay sweetheart, pick our tunes for the week.”
“Sorry did you say week?”
“Yeah.”
“You usually never let me take control of the radio for more than 2 days.”
“Like I said, we’re doing things differently this year. Now pick which mixtape shall be ours today.” I watched as she took out her mixtape box from under the seat and dug through it until she found the first ever mixtape I ever made for her when we first began dating.
She placed it in and soon ‘Stand by me’ by Ben E. King started playing. I saw her tap her tall and index fingers along the side of the door to the beat of the cello blaring from the radio.
“There’s no one on earth I would ever have done this for. Not a single metal band song at the time.” I told her.
“It’s still so sweet that you did that. Thankfully by the next one you gave me, you had included some stuff from your bands.” She said taking my hand in hers.
“All cause you said you’d be open to hear some of their love songs. Sure some of them aren’t the normal slow, love ballad but the lyrics ring true.”
“Follow me now and you will not regret. Leaving the life you led before we met. You are the first to have this love of mine. Forever with me till the end of time.” she said quoting Black Sabbath’s love song N.I.B.
“Jesus is there anything more sexier than you quoting Sabbath to me?” I reversed the van at a normal speed before putting it in drive and drove at a normal speed.
“Is the Eddie ‘the Speed’ Munson actually obeying traffic laws?”
“I could easily put this van in park and follow through with my fake murder plot against you.” I playfully threatened her as I gave her the look. She stuck her tongue at me and gave me a cheeky wink as I drove us towards the school, all the while our hands reconnected and I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.
As usual school went on the long, boring path it always did every Monday. However this time during lectures in secret, I secretly passed notes to Roxxi telling her how beautiful she looked, how smart she was, all the basics and plus a little bit more.
Along with the secret note delivery service I provided for each class, I also did my best to take as many notes as possible as well as praying to whomever above that they wouldn’t give us too much homework tonight, I got places to take my lady tonight.
When school was finally over, I guided Roxxi towards the theatre and right as we came to the doors she asked me.
“What are we doing here Eddie? We don’t usually come to the theatre until weds. to compare notes for the next campaign.”
“I told you my love, for our anniversary, things are different.” I snapped my fingers before the doors opened on their own (thanks tech geeks for staying afterward to help with this). Her eyes widened at the doors magically opening on their own. I held my hand to her and we walked in together.
Inside our D&D table was halfway set up with both our figurines of Beren and Lúthien standing side by side along with the D20 dice and a candelabra all lit up. I stopped her just short of the table while I came around to my throne, my hands leaning against the table.
“Lúthien the ethereal, Elven white witch, Princess of the Border Forest, you have braved through many hardships, battled demons the like of which no one in our company could ever imagine. And now, now you must face another quest. The quest of Two Lovers, and you will be the deciding factor in which path both Beren and yourself will travel. What say you my fair lady?” I spoke in my DM voice. She pondered as she looked between me and our figurines.
“What are the stakes?” she asked.
“A voyage of passion, bliss and a union of a bond the like of which had never been seen before. Or you end up taking them down a road of darkness, suffering and agony so horrifying and so unbearable that not even being trapped in a troll-hoard could compare to what could happen to our two lovers.”
As always when she was in deep thought, she took the ends of the right side of her hair and twirled it in her fingers. Even with the short curl, she still managed to twirl the multi-layered strand of hair around her finger. She then looked up at me and said in a firm, determined voice.
“Give me the D20.” I smirked and grabbed it before tossing it at her. She caught it straight into her palm and observed it.
“You get three shots. Don’t waste them.”
“Three shots? Pretty humble of you Dungeon Master, either that or very reckless of you for allowing me some additional help.”
“Let’s just say the three rolls you make will decide the whole quest itself for our Lovers. Now milady, take your first shot.” I sat down upon my throne with my arms cross over my chest as she held the dice between her hands. She first had it roll between her palms before I saw her shake it up and then tossed it across the table.
The dice bounced and skipped across the table board until landing on 13. Not bad for a first roll.
“Lucky 13, not bad for the first roll. The start will be fairly easy for our lovers to come across.” I took the dice and threw it back at her.
“You sure you’re not going easy on me today?”
“When it comes to D&D, I never kid around my fair lady. Let’s see what your next roll shall be?” she did the same thing again but this time she shook the dice up a little bit longer than her first roll before letting it go. With a skip and a leap, the dice rolled until it began to spin around and landed on 8. I hissed softly as I gave her a pained expression.
“Guess I went down the wrong path?” she asked.
“Not the best but I won’t say it’s the worst. Your last chance, and who knows maybe you’ll get lucky. I’ve seen it happen before when it comes to the wire.” I rolled the die between my fingers before tossing it back at her. She and I looked at each other and I gave her a slow nod.
She took a deep breath in before holding my d20 to her lips and began to shake it up. She had that die in her hand for a full straight minute before finally letting it go. It flew across the table as I slowly rose from my throne to see where this would all end.
The d20 soon began to slow down and start to pick where it wanted to go. I was at first seeing low numbers which made my heart race but then by a miracle, it landed on crit-hit 20!
“CRIT HIT!!!” She exclaimed. I threw my head back laughing as I threw my arms up in the air rejoicing. At least by sunset we’d get to the best spot in town and then end it all with a bang. I came around towards her and narrated.
“It all began where it left off;” I took Roxxi into my arms as hers wrapped around my neck. “Beren and Lúthien after leaving their company to set off on their own adventure together, they were settled in their cabin, Lúthien by the fire in her grand chair built by her husband. Beren had been noticing how his wife hadn’t been acting like herself. So he proposes; ‘My beloved, set your needlework aside. We’re going on an adventure today.’”
“‘Meleth nin,’ Lúthien says.” Roxxi soon joined my narrating. “‘We have seen many of the world already, what more is there to see?’”
“‘Unlike previous adventures we are not seeking the glory of treasure or seeking out new lands. But the pleasure of viewing the world with my wife. Will you not give me that?’ Beren asks his beloved Elven Queen.” I said as I stroked Roxxi’s cheek, gently brushing aside some of her tri-colored strands out of her face as I stared into her eyes.
“‘It does sound tempting.’ Lúthien begins to ponder. She looks at her husband and begins to understand why he is doing this for her.” She placed her hand against my cheek. I turned towards her palm and softly kissed it. “‘Yes. Yes we deserve an adventure. Not for value or glory, but for love. For our love.’” I smiled and I leaned forward and kissed my Lúthien.
“‘Then let us saddle the horse and be on our way.’” I said as I gathered up my D&D stuff and blew out the candelabra before taking Roxxi by the arm and the two of us raced towards the van.
We quickly got in and I started the engine as her mixtape resumed playing. But she quickly ejected it out and began to find a new one to listen to. She popped it in and soon Foreigners “I wanna know what love is” soon came on the speakers. This was the 2nd mixtape I made her, that I had added some metal love songs to from not only mine but the bands she was starting to love at the time.
“So where did you find Beren’s figurine at? And how did you get my Lúthien figurine as well?” she asked me.
“Turns out I left Beren at the last summer session we ever had at Gareth’s place. He told me last week how he had found it when he and his mom were doing some fall cleaning. As for Lady Lúthien, I have my ways.” I gave her a cheeky wink as I drove us to our first destination.
We first started off with dinner at the old 1950’s diner that I took Roxxi on our very first date. I still remember how she wore that cute black skirt with rose petals stitched across it, and a gorgeous blouse to match. Boy did I look underdressed but bless her heart she thought she overdressed.
Nonetheless she was a vision, and I knew right then and there I had to hold onto her and not fuck this relationship up. Fast forward to seven years later (three of them being just when we finally started dating) and we’re still together. Sure we’ve had our ups and downs especially this past year but we’re taking it one day at a time.
“Shall we get the usual?” I asked her.
“Whatever you want babe. I’m game for anything.” She replied.
“But this is for you Roxxi, now if you want something different I will give it to you.”
“You know you don’t have to go out of your way for me sweetie.”
“Spoiling my girlfriend on our anniversary is not going out of my way.” I reached out and took her hand. “I want to do this.” She softly smiled at me as coming up to our table was the same waitress who served us on our first date, an old lady named Rose.
She was like your average 70 something year old woman, however unlike every old lady who cowers everytime I make a public appearance, she saw me like her own grandson (whose supposedly a metalhead like me who lives out in San Francisco). She always told me to get my hair out of my face so Roxxi could see my eyes better and to always pay for the date.
“That time of the year again kids?” she asked us.
“Don’t you know it. Sorry we couldn’t do it last year Rose.”
“No worries dearies, shall it be the usual?”
“Yes. But instead of the chocolate milkshake can we get the oreo mix?” Roxxi answered.
“Absolutely sweetie, two chicken sandwiches and fries and one oreo milkshake coming up.” she took the menus from us and went over to the kitchen.
“An oreo milkshake?” I asked.
“The Dairy Queen up in Indianapolis had something called an oreo blizzard and it changed my life forever. It’s basically a milkshake but has oreos in them. When I took notice that they had some new milkshakes and an oreo was one of them, I had to do it.”
“Hope it’s better than your oreo and peanut butter idea. I still can’t believe you talked me into trying that.” I shuddered remembering that god awful taste. Now I like oreos and peanut butter as much as the next guy but combining them together, gross!
“Oh that’s rich coming from the guy who still drinks pickle juice whenever he gets the chance.” She mocked. When there’s absolutely nothing left to drink and all you find is some leftover sliced pickles, a rotten tomato and expired celery, you tell me which would you choose. But truthfully it wasn’t half bad when I got past the third sip.
“Okay kids here we are, fresh and hot out of the oven.” Rose sat down our meal as well as the oreo milkshake which I’ll admit it did look pretty good. Two main oreo cookies stuck out above and were leaned up against the cup, and I could see both above and through the cup oreo crumbs mixed into the vanilla ice cream.
Roxxi took her spoon and dipped it first before holding it out to me. I leaned forward and took a bite of the ice cream mixed with oreo crumbs and my god was that something I never knew I needed.
“Well? Pretty good huh?”
“That is the second greatest thing I’ve ever tasted.”
“Second? What’s the first? No wait don’t answer that.” I snickered as I dipped my fries into the shake before popping it into my mouth and we continued our dinner date in peace.
After paying up front and heading back to the van, Roxxi said.
“Now you said that my second roll though it was low, it’s not as bad of a path.”
“Ahh yes. Hold on I need to make a quick phone call real quick. You go wait by the van, I’ll be right there in a moment.” I pecked her cheek before quickly racing back towards the payphone at was at the corner of the diner. I dug through my pockets for the change and put it into the payphone before dialing up the number. It rang a few times before he finally responded.
‘Hello?’
“Jeff, hey it’s me. Turns out Roxxi and I will be heading to your place after all.”
‘She rolled low didn’t she?’
“If she had rolled less than seven then we’d be at the library doing our homework. So can we come over?”
‘Yeah, you’re lucky my mom’s out of town and my dad’s visiting my sick grandmother.’
“See you then man.” I hung up the phone and walked back over to Roxxi.
“What was all that for?”
“Just to confirm where we’re heading off too next. Now like I said, unfortunately it’s not a fun or memorable activity but it must be done for the fun to continue. But due to your roll of 8, there is a catch to this.”
“Which is…..”
“We’ll need some assistance with that.” We got into the van and I turned on the engine before pulling out of the diner and drove us to Jeff’s place. I pulled into his driveway and she said.
“Jeff’s house? Why are we here Eddie?”
“Unfortunately due to the date of which our anniversary on, I was forced to acknowledge that it was a school day and that in order for us to graduate, we do need to get our—homework done.” I shuddered at the end of my statement. “Seriously, why couldn’t our special day always be on a weekend like Friday or Saturday. Hell I’d even take the holy day of Sunday, at least then the streets and shops wouldn’t be as crowded.” I felt her take my hand.
“Eddie Munson, have I ever told you how proud I am of your dedication these past few weeks?”
“You tell me every day. Besides I made a promise, and for our day I’m willing to really make this work. Which brings us here, study session with Jeff. But his house holds a special place too, remember?”
“Uhh—was it—no it…..no I don’t.” I smiled softly and ducked my head in before explaining.
“Middle school, talent show. You had done the cheer thing with Chrissy Cunningham, and the guys and I had our first live performance as Corroded Coffin. We came here after the show when you both won second place, which was bull! You should’ve won first!” She playfully rolled her eyes. “We were out by his pool, and I looked at you and that was the moment that my feelings for you had changed. I no longer wanted to just be your friend.”
I stroked her cheek softly before brushing my thumb over her soft lips. I felt her lips pucker up slightly as she kissed my thumb.
“You never told me that.”
“Was waiting for the right moment to confess that story.” She smiled softly at me before leaning in and softly kissed me. I cupped her jawline and softly deepened the kiss but I had to hold myself back. Just wait Eddie, you’ll get your chance tonight. “As much as I would love to continue this, I don’t think Jeff would appreciate us having car sex in his driveway.”
“Yeah, and neither would the neighbors. Don’t wish to scar any kids with the van rocking.” I pecked her lips before reaching behind and grabbing our backpacks and we exited the van and headed up Jeff’s porch and I rang the doorbell.
He opened it up and allowed us to come into the living room. Jeff was in both our English and History class so we all agreed we could get those assignments done first before Roxxi and I would move onto our next two classes.
Now truthfully nothing really fun happened throughout this time frame cause I made a promise that today there’d be no funny business. If I got confused with something, Roxxi was there to guide me through it or explain it better than what was described on the paper. At least until we started our math homework, that’s when Jeff came into play.
Being in AP Trig, he knew how to read numbers and formulas better than anyone. So he helped us with understanding our math assignment until we had every last bit of homework completed. And boy did my brain feel like it was put through the blender then spat out before being shoved down a toaster and be burnt into a crisp.
“So what’s next on you guy’s anniversary plan?” Jeff asked.
“None of your business, thanks for letting us crash here Jeff to do the boring stuff.” Roxxi playfully nudged against me before she said.
“We’ll see you tomorrow in English, Jeff.”
“See yah guys, and happy anniversary.” We both waved him off before loading the van back up.
“And finally comes my crit-hit reward right?”
“You are correct milady. And a good thing we got done when we did cause the sun’s just about to set and hopefully we’ll get there before it gets dark.” I turned on the van and backed out of Jeff’s driveway before punching the gas and sped off towards our final destination.
Pelennor fields.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x oc#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson imagines#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson blurb#stranger things#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfic#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#stranger things imagines#stranger things fanfiction#joseph quinn#joseph quinn fanfic#joseph quinn fanfiction#joseph quinn imagine#joseph quinn imagines#dustin henderson#mike wheeler#steve harrington
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ok so uh batshit story time pookie
so on thursday this 6th grader made like money w/ lined paper called bands and like he got my friend j that i’ve mentioned a couple times to protect the bands then one of my other friends, g asked me how to make them
now friday goes by almost normally until fourth period when this other guy i hang out w/ sometimes, s asks me what 30% of 2000 is, come to find out it’s because g owes him a band tax of 30% for making him $2000
so apparently the sixth grader and g have made their own factions, i don’t know much abt the other kids operation but g had ga as his second in command, he gets 50% tax on all the money he makes, and then the workers who get 30%, now s and g have a contact that s works for g for a month at least
now flash forward to lunch, i’m w/ j, he gets sent by the 6th grader to go find g and have a business discussion bc although g has twice the man power, 6 has twice the money, so i’m w/ j looking for g right? then the power goes out, j disappears, 20 minutes pass and i have 5th period and g informs me that j has switched to his side
now obviously power is out so we can’t do our work, so we go to this back table that’s in there separate from our desks, it’s me, g, ga and our other friends w, sc, a, au and n, s gets to the table last, now it’s a very tiny table that only has 4 seats so the rest of us are standing
then s says “you guys are fake” and leaves to the other side of the room, then he terminated his contract w/ g and former his own faction, now there is talks of g and the sixth grader teaming up to take down s
and then i left early so idk what happened so i’m kinda scared abt what’s happening on monday
girlypop i'm so sorry but i'm fucking confused...😭i can't
(i read like 3 times and i still don't fucking understand..i think i have dyslexia)
those codenames BE LOOKING LIKE THE SYMBOLS OF ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE...☠☠☠
HOW DID THIS KID MAKE $2000 DOLLARS..WITH FUCKING LINED PAPER...
THIS IS HOW MUCH HE MADE WHEN CONVERTED IN MY CURRENCY DAWG...
I'VE NEVER EVEN GOTTEN THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY IN MY DAMN LIFE...HE HAS MORE THAN I HAVE ON MY BANK ACCOUNT DAWGY DAWG☠☠
why are these fetuses talking about tax...umm i have no words☠
so...who's in the wrong...out of the alphabet people?😶
is g the person who committed fraud?
but anyways pookie...honestly safest option is to just not go to school🥰🤪
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WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR PERSON'S LIFE RIGHT NOW + A MESSAGE FROM THEM
𖦹 this reading includes what is going on in your person’s life right now, what they (or their higher self) want to say to you at this moment and songs they'd like to give you. this reading is more about your future spouse or your future partner, someone who you may not be in contact with but you're curious about what they're doing.
𖦹 so there will be two paragraphs for each pile (what your person is doing and what they want to say to you). you can choose more than one pile. ex: pile 1 for what your person is doing and pile 2 for the message.
𖦹 how does this work? close your eyes and take deep breaths, pick the pile you are most drawn to. If you aren’t drawn to any pile then that’s okay, these messages aren’t for you.
𖦹 take what resonates.
THE PILES
PILE 01
now playing:
now playing:
pile 01's songs
THEIR LIFE
hello pile 01, welcome to your reading. I'm getting a lot of fire energy here, especially leo. I'm hearing Leo in 1st and 10th house, aries in 8th house, aries mars, mars in 10th house and also Venus in 2nd and 3rd house. I'm also getting gemini and capricorn. capricorn mars, aquarius venus. If these aren't your placements then they're most likely your person's placements. or perhaps, those are their transits. I feel a lot of confident energy from your person, I think they are at a good place right now. Your person has been betrayed and heartbroken quite recently but I feel like they're not trying to let that get to them. they're keeping their head high, focusing on their goals and working really hard. the pain motivated them to work hard, maybe as a way to get revenge? In their head, they may think that if they work hard, they can show off their success to the person that broke them like "hey, look at me now!". for some others, it's possible that they're working really hard because the work distracts them from the pain and the situation. they're acting like the pain isn't affecting them, I'm seeing them just laughing and hanging out with a group of people (their friends?) acting like theyre not dealing with any problems. your person is definitely at a period of time where work is only on their mind, they're hungry for success. success is the only thing your person is heading towards, it's the only direction they see. love isn't on your person's mind at all so I doubt that you've crossed their mind. but little do they know, the direction that they're heading towards will also lead them to you. your person may have travelled somewhere recently or maybe they're thinking of travelling somewhere else. there is change on the horizon for your person, maybe they will be promoted soon or moving countries, going to university, etc. they are so ambitious. I'm seeing piles of paper on desks, papers stuck on walls with dates and notes on them and also quotes. motivational quotes perhaps. your person is also working out, they could be getting up quite early. 6 am? I'm getting mad mars in 6th house vibes from your person. they're feeling burnt out, they have so much on their plate but they're not stopping anytime soon because they like it and also because they have no choice. they're also taking many responsibilities, I'm hearing house chores, work and looking after their parents or siblings. your person could be a student, a business person or they could work in an office. they're organizing their workspace and keeping track of their schedule, getting ready for the next chapter of their life. laziness is not in your person's vocabulary!
THEIR MESSAGE
you know, I am so busy right now. I'm too exhausted to even think about love, to think about you. I don't think about it anymore unlike before. I know at times you feel like we're nowhere close and you doubt my existence because of how distant I feel and I'm sorry. It is partially true, we're nowhere close to eachother and we're both individual human beings. let's live in the present and experience things and meet new people without having to think about eachother. I don't feel right about thinking of the future and just hoping for something to happen, hoping to just end up with someone like you. It doesn't feel right. I need to do something, I need to take action. that's exactly what I'm doing now. It gives me a sense of stability knowing that I'm taking action and there's a high possibility of my dreams coming true. I've promised myself that I won't stop working until I've achieved everything. I can't do all of this by myself, I need your help too. I'm asking you a favour, do your part. I'm doing mine. work hard and don't slack off. I'm sorry again for sounding cold, I'm not like this on a daily basis. I'm just really tired. I need to get my point across. don't slack off. please. I'll keep saying that. oh, that reminds me. at times I will definitely sound like a teacher or a boss, it's just a habit I got from work. It's not my intention to make you feel stupid, I know you're smart. I wanted you to know that because I don't want you to think I'm generally a cold person. I'm not. when tarot readers or psychics or astrologers or whoever says that I'm cold, they only mean when I'm at work or when I'm busy or serious. I would never be like that to someone I love, especially you. truthfully speaking, you don't know much about me at all especially if you think I'm a cold person. that thought you have of me stops now. I'm guessing that you're curious about me now. I like to look neat and clean, I don't like bright colours, they look unprofessional. I hang out with my friends sometimes and we just have lunch at a café or a local restaurant. I'm on my computer a lot so my back always hurts but I'm doing exercises to help me with it. I have too many cookbooks that I don't use because I don’t have much time, I end up freestyling my food and cooking up some eggs. I need to get better at managing time. I don't like people that don't practice what they preach, it irritates me. now for my appearance. this, in no way is useful information that will help us in any way but I suppose I'll just tell you. I have a sharp nose, it's pointy and a little wide. I don't have any piercings. I don't have bangs. as for my eyes, they're brown and deep-set. my lips? they're just lips. you'll love them anyway so it doesn't matter. my hair? neat and brown. you'll love it too. that's enough. you can stop trying to get to know me now, leave that for when we meet. you can know me more yourself when the time comes, I like the process of getting to know someone and the effort someone puts into getting to know me. until then, keep working hard.
PILE 02
now playing:
pile 02's songs
THEIR LIFE
I’m getting cancer energy from the pile, also pisces and gemini and libra. I’m hearing cancer/pisces/ libra venus, venus in 5th/7th/12th house, pisces moon, mercury in 7th house, cancer in 2nd house, gemini rising. if these aren’t your placements then they’re most likely your person’s, if not then these may be their transits. right now I feel like your person is trying something new, especially a hobby. I’m getting ‘painting’ for some of you. for others, your person has started something new like a project or they moved to a new house, something like that. there’s this feeling of ‘newness’ in your person’s life right now. they have so much passion for whatever this ‘newness’ is. they’re excited for this change, they can’t wait to move to the next stage. I’m feeling a positive energy coming from your person. their creativity is flowing through their blood, they feel inspired and joyous. some of you may not like to hear this but your person may have gotten in a relationship with someone or they want to get into a relationship with someone. they have a crush. I feel like there’s still an important choice to be made and your person has waited such a long time for the next stage, the relationship stage. I feel like their crush or their partner isn’t showing them that much attention, it feels quite one sided (your person giving more), they’re doing so much for their crush/partner but I feel like your person isn’t seeing it right, they’re just so blinded. like a little kid when they have a crush. If you don’t like what you’re hearing, don’t worry, they’re your person for a reason. anyways for others of you, I’m seeing your person listening to music while they’re doing their new hobby. painting is coming really strong, I’m seeing an easel. If it’s not a hobby then your person is feeling in love, whether it be a person or something else. their head is in the clouds, they’re listening to love songs, feeling so inspired by everything around them. love and venus themes is really important in your person’s life right now. If you’ve been listening to love songs recently or if you just feel all lovey-dovey, it’s most likely because of your person, you’re connected to your person. or if you feel inspired out of nowhere, it’s probably because of your person too. I just felt like I had to let you know that. sooner or later though, your person will realise that the relationship is one sided and they will give up on it. this will hit your person really hard, it will be a hard lesson for them. perhaps even the last lesson because I feel like your person has always done too much for people that don’t deserve their love. your person has experienced a lot and learnt many lessons except for this, when they learn this though, they will have learnt all the lessons. they can tick this off their box. I’m getting such wise Pisces vibes from them. for lots of you, your person is already in the 'realisation' stage and there's about to be a change in their life.
THEIR MESSAGE
It’s been challenging these days, maybe even these past few weeks and maybe even months too. It’s fine though, I can get through it. you don’t have to worry about me. I have a gut feeling that something is going to happen soon, disappointments? I’m not surprised, I’ve been so stuck in my own head. I don’t know why I keep giving people more. so stupid of me. maybe it’s not my fault? maybe it’s their fault for giving less, who knows. I don’t know how to stop. why do I do this? I keep getting disappointed over and over again, I’m starting to not have hope anymore. despite this, I still think love is beautiful. with the right person. love is not only limited to romantic love though, which is what I’ve learnt recently. I’ve been so fixated on romantic relationships that I’ve forgotten about the beautiful things around me. surprisingly, there’s love everywhere. do you know what I love? I love the stars, I love flat white coffee, I love the smell of fresh grass, I love nature and the sun, I love dogs (especially small dogs) and I love experiences. experiences that shape me into a better person, painful or not, I love those. not to sound masochistic – but I love pain. I learn from pain. love has always been painful for me but I’m still giving people my all, wrong people to be precise. Is that why I keep falling for people that don’t care about me? because I love getting hurt? now that I’ve thought of it, it sounds terrible. I need to fix that. I feel embarrassed now that you know this, please don’t shake your head. I will fix it. I want this cycle to end. don’t be worried about me. you should continue living your life, there’s yet so much you can experience. places to go, new people to meet, new activities to do. so much. I’d love to experience so many things with you. do you like road trips? I’d love to go on a picnic date too, does stargazing sound good? we could travel around the world, that’s on my bucket list. so many ideas but there’s still so much distance and time between us. I feel excited thinking about it, I want to do so much right now and experience so many things. by the time we meet, I might already have a long white beard because I’ll be so wise *laughs*. who knows, white hair does look awesome. I think it might suit me actually. on a serious note, I want you to know that you should not be afraid to try new things. don't be afraid of change. regret is scarier than change, staying in the same place and not growing is scarier than change. you may lose something good but what if you gain something even better? I’ll be there for you every step of the way, I’m always there for you even though I’m not there with you physically. do you feel me? I’m so proud of you. If you see an opportunity, take it or you’ll regret it later. don’t be afraid of saying no or saying yes, you deserve to be heard, assert your dominance *laughs*. I love you, take care of yourself. you can do it. [:
PILE 03
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pile 03's songs
THEIR LIFE
I'm getting mutable and fixed energy here, especially scorpio, virgo, leo, sagittarius. maybe scorpio rising and sagittarius rising with pluto in 1st house. I'm hearing saturn in 8th house, saturn in 22°, scorpio sun or moon aspecting saturn, pluto and sun or moon sitting in the same house. if these aren't your placements then they're most likely your person's. these could be their transits too. your person is going through a transformation, something had recently happened in their life that has caused this transformation. I'm thinking it's death, a death of a loved one like a family member, a friend or a pet. someone close to them. If it's not a death of a loved one then it's a death of a cycle, a death of a job, a relationship, something like that. something that came to an end. it's affecting your person badly and they feel so much guilt. they're missing and mourning over whatever this is. they're pessimistic, they feel like the whole world is against them and that their would turned upside down. they have no hope anymore, they're not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm seeing that image of Yuu Otasaka from the anime Charlotte. I think your person is exactly like that right now. depressed. I see tissues, dark rooms and hoodies and blankets. also gaming for a number of you (interesting how the picture you chose is a picture of keys). they're going through it right now and they need support. your person is not communicating with many people or interacting with anyone at all, they're pushing people away. looking at the picture of the pile you chose, I realised it says "wish you were here". now this could mean that they wish that the person they lost were still with them or they wish that someone could come and support them or comfort them, or for a few amount of you, this could be meaning you. they wish you were there with them. however, I don't think love is a thought that comes in their mind in this period of time. it's more like, they're screaming into a void wishing someone could hear them, not directly meaning you. for others of you, I'm getting a different situation. your person may have gotten fired or they tried something but it didn't work out and they had so much hope for it. they badly wanted it to work out and now your person is feeling disappointed in themselves, like someone just ripped away something really valuable to them. your person doesn't know that the reason this, whatever this is, didn't work out is because it wasn't meant to. It's not part of their divine plan. It honestly saved your person from future problems but they don't know that. It's a blessing in disguise. I'm strongly feeling it's something related to their job or maybe love, 'right place, wrong time' is what I'm hearing. your person is blaming themselves for it all, thinking it was because of time, lack of planning or they didn't try hard enough. It isn't true, they should be easy on themselves.
THEIR MESSAGE
I don't know what to say. I don't feel like saying much. why do you want to know anyway? do you care? am I interesting? I'm not all that special, you know. here I go again, making sh*t sad. I'll try and make this light-hearted as possible because you shouldn't see this side of me, not so soon. not like this. *silence* I'll start off by saying that you can't control whatever life throws at you. but you can control your reactions and how you deal with it. I'm not doing very well, not dealing with it the way I usually do. It hit me hard and I don't like being sad like this and not doing anything, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to talk to anyone, not finding joy in the things I love doing. I hate this f*cking feeling and the way I'm dealing with it. I heard that you should let yourself feel everything once in a while. I'm f*cking feeling everything alright. why did I not let myself feel before? now it's all consuming me. all of my problems and emotions, this darkness inside of me, erupting. I regret this. I regret acting like I was fine before, finding distractions. now I know that being distracted doesn't necessarily mean that it's gone, the problem is still there. don't do what I did. let yourself feel. or it will all build up and eat you alive. you don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want you to be sad, god no. definitely not like this. but if being sad will help you then that's certainly fine by me, just don't act like you're fine. that will hurt me much more. just do what I say. showing emotions is not a sign of weakness. look at me, I'm so f*cked up because of not thinking that. this feeling will go away, right? right. If you need to let it all out, do it. I can feel your sadness, the nights you cried, I felt them. those tears of yours, I want to wipe them away but I'm not there. it sucks. I need you here. I need a good f*cking hug right now. I want you to be happy but I don't know how. I'd do anything to see that smile of yours. that precious smile that I have yet to see. I know it's precious. listen to me. I need you. I need you to stay strong. you're so strong and much more emotionally intelligent than I am. I am so in awe. your strength gives me energy, you give me energy. you're the light of my life. I hope our kids will be as beautiful and as amazing as you. I'm glad I was given the chance to talk to you like this. I love you, sunshine.
#pick a card#pick a card reading#pac#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a pile reading#pick a card tarot#astrology observations#pick a pile tarot#sunballtarot#pac reading#pac tarot#free readings
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Here’s my note before I’ll get started….
(DON’T YOU EVER COPY FROM MINE OR MY FRIEND’S WORK, CHARACTERS, AND STUFF IF ONE OF YOU ARE IMPOSTERS WHO HAD HABITS OF PLAGIARISM! I WILL BLOCK YOU FROM MY BLOG IF I SEE YOUR POST WITH MINE OR MY FRIEND’S ORIGINAL WORK BEING EDITED ALL OVER! I’LL EVEN SHARE IT ONTO MY BLOG SO IF EVERYONE WILL SEE THAT YOU TRYING TO COPY MINE OR MY FRIEND’S THINGS FOR NO GOOD REASON WHATSOEVER! That will be all….I mean it.)
The Puppy Duo from Pibby - Doodle Sketch Art
Hey guys! I’m coming back at least during the last week of 🍀March to share my art post you’ve seen for today. Although not my upcoming Animal OC’s Bio that I’m working on for example, but as another fanart of sorts for Adult Swim’s “would be” upcoming show to keep an eye for official news.
If you wanted to see my previous art posts for Pibby, then please click some links down below for your interests. ⬇️
Pibby Before Apocalypse (Nov. 30th, 2021) - Link Here #1
Tumblr Exclusive (Dec. 28th, 2021) - Link Here #2
Tumblr Exclusive (Jan. 13th, 2022) - Link Here #3
Separate Cartoon Worlds (Mar. 13, 2022) - Link Here #4
⬆️ 1st and 2nd Images
As you can see this is a doodle sketch that I’m gonna explain through details a bit, but just wanted to know how much time and effort for these two pups in working designs. Although last time toincluded them from my previous posts was not bad. Still hoping I would continue working on their designs a bit better from what they actually look like on trailer. It took me to get started back in March. 21st, 2022 til the 27th day that you can see the date I’ve added in the bottom right during my progress.
⬆️ 3rd Image
This is the first one I’m going with for their appearances straight up nicely and in color. 👍
⬆️ 4th Image
Meanwhile doing their eye expressions I’ve gotten; at least when making their reactions whether happy, sad, or angry.
⬆️ 5th Image
Thought I wanted to include this of what if these two getting a “Ducktales” style reboot; especially changing their personality to fit in the modern setting. It looks not bad that I used to watch the 2017 version of Ducktales before thinking it was a good thing. It happens few years that I’m skeptical about watching it like it’ll be good or not, but it was all in my head. 😅
⬆️ 6th Image
Now going back is working their actual final designs; mostly their faces and some ears that I’m hoping this is what they actually look like from watching the trailer. I worked hard a bit to drawn the exact looks to do sideways. After getting through this though, I’m hoping this what I prefer when doing their appearances. Looks good huh?
⬆️ 7th Image
Having them to teach learning stuff with Pibby and Bun Bun would be a nice thing if it wasn’t to go around in crazy situation when surviving the apocalypse.
⬆️ 8th Image
Walking and talking to each other, but just wish I could drawn them walking on four legs like normal dogs that we seen other characters in cartoons doing it.
⬆️ 9th Image
Finally here’s the last one as a remake from last year and some changes. Still searching of what supposed to be their third sibling that also appeared from the trailer, but hard to find out if he’s digging some bones or not. It’s been not to figure this one out, but still....😔
Anyways, hope you guys like this doodle sketch I’ve made for this week to share. Can’t help it if I would to continue making better designs until now. 😅
Unnamed Dog Characters (Both Pink and Green), Pibby and Bun Bun - Pibby (also known as Come and Learn with Pibby! and Learning with Pibby: Apocalypse (TBA) created by Dodge Greenlay; produced company by Cartoon Network Studios/Williams Street and distributed by Warner Bros. Television
#art post#exclusive art post#traditional#traditional artwork#doodle sketch#doodle art#pibby#learning with pibby#learning with pibby apocalypse#come and learn with pibby#dogs#children#girl#boy#pink one#green one#designs#design change#eye expressions#etc.#march 2022#march 28th 2022
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OBLIVIATE | D.M. ABANDONED FIC OUTLINE
Hello~
I’ve had this fic for @fuckingdraco ‘s writing challenge outlined for almost a year now. Half of it is a skeleton; i have some scenes which are fully written out and others which are just first drafts and idea dumps. this is quite literally copied and pasted so good luck if you read it.
I never had the heart to completely delete it but never liked it enough to write it; so here is my 2.2k draft fo what would’ve been a series.
If anyone decides to read it, be warned, it’s a mess. i just didnt want it to die in my notes so it’s having a life here, in my new section of my masterlist ‘fics that never saw the light of day’.
warnings: memory loss, fight scenes, gore, fighting
//
Being in a secret relationships had its ups and downs
You had to sneak around
But that just made the moments you were together so much more meaningful
You couldn’t brag about him to your friends
But the both of you were quite private people anyways, explaining your absences as studying in odd places
No one ever found out
It was just you and draco
The summer of 5th year was hard as he spent all of it in the south of France with his family
But it made coming back in 6th year so much more exciting
your fingers ached to touch him as you walked past his carriage
It was moments like this that you wish you could openly love him
But when your friends started gossiping about how Harry Potter thought he’d become a death eater, you were suddenly glad you weren’t linked to him publicly
That thought itself set a heavy weight of guilt on you
He came back in 6th year and he had changed
His kisses lost their spark
His eyes lost their light
He’d fuck you rough and hard, almost as if forgetting himself. Before making it up to you in the next instance
Slow love making that made you feel like you had just slept with an entirely different person
You followed him
You supposed you shouldn’t have
But he was skipping meals and you couldn’t exactly talk to his friends when they didn’t know you
You couldn’t confide in your friends as they wouldn’t understand
So you had no other choice
You followed him throughout the nights, and every time you would find him slipping into the room of requirement when he should’ve been slipping into bed with you
Once you had gauged what time he usually went and on what days you yourself went, 10 minutes before he was due
You watch as he fiddles around some ancient looking cupboard and you wonder why you’re jealous of a dead tree taking up dracos time
You watch as he sends things through, until finally it works for him
But its not happiness on his face nor relief
It looks like dread
He doesn’t look like he’s accomplished something, no there was no way
You watch as he takes off his tie, throwing it in the pile of robes and jumper
You watch as he rolled up the sleeves to his arms, the arms that had held you up more times than you could count
And you watch as the dark snaking lines of the dark mark are exposed on your lovers skin
His eyes whip round to see yours, instantly widening in fear
It isn’t until you try to walk towards him and he throws his hands up to stop you do you realise the shattered glass littered around you
He flicks his wand and you walk over, standing in front of him trying to figure out why
“How did you hide it from me for so long.”
“Simple charms, I was hoping you wouldn’t have to find out.”
More dialogue where he explains
“I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice.”
Draco please
“I can’t, I had to take this on my skin because my father fucked up”
“If I, if I stop now, I cant save my mother”
“Draco please, we can find a way around this”
You kiss him
And it feels like you’ve both gone back to before 6th year
When times were simpler
When he loved you and you loved him and that was it
No other interruptions
“Oblivate”
PART 1
“Y/n?”
“I’m sorry, do I know you?”
“Draco Malfoy, we share some classes but we haven’t spoken before.”
“Oh, im sorry, of course. I’m really tired I dont usually forget peoples names I swear. I must’ve been so tired I wandered in, I apologise.”
“It’s okay, the doors over there.” You take that as his polite cue of asking you to leave
He offers a tight smile, one you remember from first year, one you remember seeing across the hall as he’s shut down by Harry Potter
Poor guy must be going through something
“Y/n”
you turn, you dont even hesitate. You dont know what it is but you feel as if you’ve known him all your life
You change and you see a gold ring dangling from a dainty gold chain. You ask your friends if they’ve seen it before
im forgetting so much these days
But you keep it on, it brings you an odd sense of comfort
You keep it tucked beneath your blouse, bringing it to you lips on occasion when youre anxious.
//
He had forgotten about his ring, the very ring you had clasped between your thumb and finger as you worked on your essay. How was he possibly supposed to get it from you
he’s well aware he’s staring but his mind is whirling
He needs that ring
“Draco, isn’t that your ring?”
He should’ve obligated himself, that might’ve been easier
“I’m sure it just looks similar.”
“Draco, we both know that’s the Malfoy famlily crest, I wondered why you stopped wearing it.”
“Wait did she steal it?”
misplaced it
She picked it up
He had to awkwardly walk over to pick it up
“That’s my ring.” You had told him all about how your friends hated him and how you had feigned indifference the entire time
He had to act the part
Youre flustered, eyes flicking between the ring and him, fingers clasping it tighter as if not wanting to let it go
He notices and his heart clenches at the sight
Remembering the night he gave it to you
*flash back*
“I’m so sorry, I must’ve picked it up by accident here.”
“Wait, how do you even know it’s his, prove it Malfoy.”
“My vaults could buy Hogwarts, why would I be stealing gold from a nobody?”
Your cheeks flare up and your friends glare at him but see his side
You struggle to unclasp it, and of course you fucking do because his stupid fucking ass charmed it so only he could take it off
he watches as you struggle with it, turning to a friend to help before you have 6 girls pulling at the very expensive chain on your neck
“For fucks sake youre going to damage it, let me.”
Your breath hitches as his surprisingly warm fingers brush your hair out of the way, fingers working quick to unclasp the necklace, the weight of it leaving your neck and you feel surprisingly empty
“Thank you.”
You watch as he goes, your fingers scratching over your neck, feeling something bubble in your throat
This was pathetic, you were so sad over something that was never yours in the first place
You spend the remainder of the time trying to figure out how you cam to be in possession of it in the first place
//
your name is written in beautiful cursive on a letter that you cannot help but love
You turn it over to see a beautiful wax seal on it, fingers trembling as you break it
The chain is yours.
d.m.
You tilt the envelope over into your hand to feel the familiar weight of the chain in your hand, clasping it around you neck in an instant
You look in the mirror but you dont recognise yourself
Your friends are surprised when you study with them
When you go back to your dorm room at a reasonable time
And you dont have a clue where it is they think you go
But how could you possibly explain to someone what you font remember
The chain is too light around you neck, its just not the same, it feels as if it’s chocking you rather than bringing you comfort
You start digging through your trunk and draws, looking for something to act as a pendant before you finally do.
Hidden at the back of one of your draws you find a little velvet box you dont remember stashing away. But then again, you dont seem to be remembering much these days.
Its a tiny little constellation of stars, charmed to sparkle and you heart wonders why you had never worn it before. It was a simple little charm but once hooked onto the necklace, you look at yourself in the mirror and finally feel as though a little part of you has returned.
PART 2 THE CONSTELLATION IS DRACO
6th and 7th years are a blur
A blur of horror
You dont really understand how life had changed so abruptly
You dont know how you end up fighting in a war at the age of just 18 but here you are
Draco stands with Hogwarts
And then his mother calls
You’ve seen him
Of course you have
You know what he is, know what his parents are
But you also know what he has done to make Hogwarts more bearable for you under the Carrows watch
The small things, diverging attention away from you and your friends
He wasn’t evil and some part of you knew that
You watch as he takes a shuddering breath and starts to walk
You watch as no one stops him
You watch as he loses more of his soul with each step towards mr no-nose
You dont know why you do it
You run
Your friends call your names, teachers joining in
They think youre joining the other side, they think youre fucked in the head, as they had since that incident in 6th year
But no, you were just missing something
you catch up to him pretty quickly, pulling him to a stop
“Ah, another to join my cause. Welcome young lady.”
“You know me. Im missing something but whenever I’m with you, whenever im holding this stupid constellation close to my heart, I feel at ease. Why”
he stares at you incredulously, and why wouldn’t he. Youre in the middle of a battlefield, Harry Potter has just been declared dead and Voldemort is less than a meter away
But you dont feel scared
And you feel stupid for not feeling scared
“It has felt like I dont even know who I am for the past 2 years, what did you do to me?”
You know everyones watching, you can hear the gasps on both sides as they think the worst of him
“I did what was necessary.” That was the first time he had spoken more than 2 words to you since he had gotten his necklace back that day in the library
“Draco, this is no time to be flirting. Come join me, bring her with you if you want.”
He tenses as voldy rests a boney hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards the other side, away from you
“If you won’t be joining us, we will use you an example of what will happen if you dont join us.”
You stare at him unfazed, fear was something you had gotten used to
Your fingers grip your wand in hand, running through all the spell harry had taught you in the da but its not enough
You are no match for voldy as he throws an unforgivable at you
You hear screams around you but all you hear is silence, as if the world had finally gone silent
//
Draco watched as the spell hit you directly in the chest. He had spent 2 years living with his actions all for it to have gone to naught in a single second
He watched as the light from his wand hits you
Before rebounding off you as if it hit a shield
There’s a flash of black and his mother is infront of him, wand out from deflecting the spell from bouncing back and hitting him
“Mother?”
“She’s important to you?”
“She gave him one of the fucking family heirlooms, either she’s important to him or he’s an idiot”
His parents were… bickering in the middle of a battle
voldy recollects himself but before he can talk neville speaks up “I have no idea what’s going on but-”
Draco drowns out the noise as he stares at you on the floor, youre covered in dust and in blood but youre alive
He hears screams as harry rolls from hatreds arms, he hears the cries from death eaters but all can see is you
“We’re switching sides now?”
“I mean he’s fairly distracted, he won’t have time to hunt us down, we owe it to our son.”
Fight scene
You remember everything
Fred Weasley teases the both of you, “we have a war to win, you can fuck later.”
He copy his lazy grin, a grin that lights you up, a grin that reminds you what’s left to fight for
You see the spell before he does
Youre in an arms reach of him but Draco cant reach you in time
You push Fred to the floor, putting yourself in the line of fire by default and draco has to watch you get hit all over again
“We need to talk about what exactly it is ive been wearing around my neck this entire time.”
“I think only my mother can answer that.”
[if you made it this far, send me an ask with the word ‘chicken’ and i’ll send you a cursed photo xx]
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Art Fight(and not) Things !! Welcome to the grey canvas show. Premature posting for over half of them and late posting for the rest, but reasons for that below the cut. As well as some context for each.
1st is a ref I made for my sona, which has yet to be put up. Been delayed due to working on other things and still not having a name. 2nd is a NB visibility Floofty I kinda just.... cobbled together? Not sure if it’s all that great, *and* it’s late, but... well. Hrgrhrhgrhgrhgr 3rd is the start of the AF things with @snakjomo‘s Journalist, whom I’ve become very fond of in my time consuming Bugsnax content. Their design might be subject to change, but I’ll love em either way <3 4th is Quillda Tiddlything from @calliopepreforms who is ADORABLE, I love her cute lil stubby legs, hair, and oversized glasses. She’s like prime pick up and cuddle material, absolutely amazing. 5th and 6th are both @cheesesteakphil‘s Orlifa Featherbean (sure do draw lots of journalists, huh?) and the first I got a bit too ambitious with while I hope they don’t mind the slightly shippy content of the second >.> If not then We Are Shaking Hands On Appreciating Floofy
So! Additional context... well, frankly, the Art Fight work hasn’t exactly been going swimmingly. I’ve been trying new things and have Sort Of had ideas, but it’s been just as much sitting still as moving forward, frankly. And I’d felt bad that it seemed like I had nothing to show, while getting frustrated with the inability to properly finish anything. Iunno, I’ve gotten impatient and also in some weird way showing stuff might help my brain move forward. I hope it doesn’t come off as... lazy or anything like that :l 1st image has already been pretty explained. I drew it shortly after the previous reference for a commission because I just wanted to do something new. It’s a little samey in expression and not as neat in terms of composition, while lacking in details like the headphones and lil cassette player, but I figured I could pair them together to shore up on any missing bits. 2nd also pretty self-explanatory, and shows a trend I have with expressions for SURE. Like, left corner of the mouth up type beat. I’m tryna break outta habits with this stuff, but it is Not Easy. That bow tie kicked my ass too. And I’m not sure I’m entirely satisfied with what I came up with, ultimately, but I didn’t want to wait too long either. Even though NB Visiblity Day’s already passed us up regardless. Floofty’s existence means a lot to me and I had to do *something*, y’know? 3rd has a bit of extra detail in that I meant for it to be a sequence. Like Buddy and Filbo sitting at the campfire and all that with a side of Gay Realization and such. The good stuff. Unfortunately, I’d been struggling a lot with composition and have No Idea have to do backgrounds. To the point where I couldn’t come up with anything additional. What’s there is ok, but the missed potential is horribly frustrating. Just hope it’s alright enough. Lighting’s kinda scuffed too, I know. ...I should stop looking so closely. 4th is yet another thing that doesn’t need too much explanation beyond “haha tiny journalist :)” tbh. It’s really not the best little sketch, but I also felt bad not including it? Have To Express The Love And If I Don’t I Die. 5th and 6th are a whole load because I originally started with the first bit from suddenly being struck with the idea of Orlifa in that comfy denim jacket from their ref in snow or smthn. While having a lil detail of when you do that like... exhale from the side of your mouth in the winter thing in mind. Got pretty experimental with the coloring and shading and things like that, which has been a learning experience for sure, even if I’m not 100% of the result. Backgrounds are not and will likely continue to not be my strong suit, but I’m hoping to get better about it. Probably not the best idea to be trying to go all out during a time limited event, however I uh... just care a little too much ahahhh... Had even been trying to take up painting to do a piece of Egg’s(Snakjomo’s) Neme and Cath. Or one of them, at least. SO much brain hurty. Anyway, with that second sketch I just thought it might be neat to do more than one thing for them. I like drawing interactions I know they like Floofty, so.. one thing led to another and there’s that. *Had* to do something with Orlifa for that sweet sweet Floofty Enjoyer and NB Solidarity. Then uh... that’s that. There’s other works, but they’re not really Bugsnax related, so I opted to omit them. While a lot of this stuff is sketchy af and ultimately unfinished, I hope they’re worth at least a little to everyone who got something. Might not be all there is, but my pace is gonna be horribly slow. So (maybe) stay tuned for any of that.
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Hello babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 I'm back with a new ‘Q&A’ post. Sorry, it took me longer than usual. I'll explain to you at the end of the post. For now, enjoy 🙃
I've already talked about it here, dear Anon, https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648194553804881920/%C9%9F (first question) and then here https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648194746313031680/%C9%9F (fifth question).
And who said I think Camila is a lesbian, dear? 😏 Maybe you mistaken me for some other blog? Because, I've never said that, dear. I've never been asked about it 🤷🏻♀️
You must be new to my blog if you're asking me this question, dear Anon. Welcome 🤗 and my answer is no, dear. Neither of them has ever cheated on the other. They're both way too loyal for that shit.
No, dear Anon. And always keep in mind that this is just my opinion and that therefore I could be wrong.
Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 First of all, thank you 🥺🥰 Thank you very much for your words, dear, you're super nice and I really appreciated it very much 🤗
As for stuck, we didn't fight or anything like that. I guess we just drifted apart 🤷🏻♀ even before she entered the Marvel world, but I can't tell you why she never liked and re-blogged my posts, dear 🤷🏻♀️
Let's call it my flaw if you want, but I don't like any posts myself (not even my girlfriend's), but that doesn't mean I don't like many posts I see. It's just the way I am 😅 I leave comments every now and then though 😅 And neither does it mean I wouldn't like to interact with you guys if you ever want to contact me or tag me or get me involved in something. It may not seem like it maybe because I don't re-blog and put likes around, but trust me, it's not like that.
Going back to stuck, I really can't tell you why. I mean, I'm not her so I can't answer you. Maybe you should ask her directly, dear. @stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland
I hope you have a very nice day too, dear Anon. Thank you so much again, and please, be sure to take care of yourself too 😘
Hello to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and don't thank me, dear 🙈 It's really a pleasure for me to interact with you guys and help you in any way I can 😊
So. Yeah, I think what you think, dear. Mila was definitely the one to make the first move, but as far as putting aside pride and the decision to give it another try, it was something they both did because they each had their own reasons. Remember, dear, there are two people in a couple.
Hey dear sneaky little one 👋🏼😄 I'm good. How are you? It's a pleasure, dear, you don't have to thank me for that 😊
I'm not sharing them with you guys yet just because they're personal observations that not everyone can agree on and, as you may have noticed, I like to tell you guys what I think with real facts that I can prove. In this case, it would be like in this picture:
I hope that with this example you understand better what I mean, dear sneaky little one. Come back any time you want and take care of yourself too 🤗😘
Hey dear Anon, why are you so down? 😟 Don't be 🤗 I know it's hard to think positively about them, but think about everything we've endured so far. Think about how strong we are. Whatever's thrown at us, it won't change our minds because we know the truth. Now, come on, dear, smile 😁 Enjoy the small wins instead of having them ruined for you by the possible eventuality of them doing something. And remember, we're in this together 💪🏼
I swear to you that when I saw it, I was like 📢🔊 Your loving takes me higher 🎵 You set my heart on fire🎵 When you touch my body got me singing like Mariah!!!! 🎵🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hello to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄
1) No, dear, you can't force something on someone who agreed to do things like this in the first place. I'll explain better. PRs are accepted by those directly involved, who then sign a contract. It's a commitment they're bound to respect from the moment they have accepted and signed the contract. If they don't respect it, they then have to pay the consequences (if you’re interested, I wrote a post about how PR relationships work here: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648193061847023616/pr-stunt-relationships-%C9%9F). I'll give you a silly example. Think of it as when one day you didn't want to go to school but you had to go anyway. It's pretty much the same dynamic because even if you didn't want to go that day, or several days, you knew you had to and you did. I hope it went well as an example 😆
2) Yes, but which of the two teams, well, that depends, dear. It depends on who's reaching whom and where. It depends on whether they're traveling together or not. And it depends on the purpose of that particular stunt, like if is some particular event or not.
3) No, dear, absolutely not, don't worry 🤣 Everyone has their own room. The rooms are very likely to be close together though, or at least on the same floor, that's for sure.
4) Yes, when possible, of course. The more people see the couple doing everything together, the more believable they seem.
Don't thank me, dear, it's really a pleasure 😊 Have a good day too ❤️
Not necessarily, dear Anon. Mila started work on her third album during the pandemic in her studio, so no one had to pay for her. Besides, when a contract expires and there's a re-sign, it doesn’t necessarily mean that an announcement will be made about it since the record label is still the same. Announcements are made if there's some kind of important addition, such as for example happened with 5H when they had to re-sign as a quartet for legal reasons with Syco/Epic, and it was only announced because of the addition of a contract with Sony Music as the sponsor for their last album.
Having said that: 1) Since her movie has been postponed again, I would say in 2022. 2) I really hope not because they would be really stupid to do it again. Plus, I don't think the PR will last until the released of her album. 3) I have to admit you made me giggle here, but no, dear 😂 don't worry. Producers, composers, songwriters, etc., work with a lot of different artists who have different styles. Mila’s nothing like Chimp, and she can’t do anything boring. It isn't in her blood. No pun intended at all there 😏🤣
Hi to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and you got it right, buddy! We think the same way!
They had gotten to a really bad point in their relationship. A point where they were no longer themselves, either in the couple or individually. For me, what happens in the Havana music video is what happened in reality as well. It was obviously told in an artistic and funny way there. Like the scene of Juan literally ‘coming out of the closet for her’ because he thought it was the best thing for their relationship. In that scene, he gets down on his knees to ask her to marry him, but in reality, at least for me, it represents December. It represents the ‘begging’ in a disguised and artistic soap opera way. It represents Lauren's last attempt to make things work between them. Which is related to the “You love me”, “I do love you. But I love me more” scene in which Camila leaves everything behind. And if you think about it, we can also find this connection somewhere else: 🎶 “Nobody talks about walking away when there's still love” 🎶. Always Love by Laur. Luckily, at the end of the video, she really is ‘took back to her Havana’ as it also happened in reality.
It's all connected, dear. There's a connection and an explanation for everything they do artistically. Just pay attention and you'll be able to connect the dots like you did in this case too. Give me a virtual high-five! 🖐🏼 And have a good day too, dear Anon ❤️
Hello to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Thank you very much, dear, and don't worry, I've been never asked that. So. Before answering your questions, let's take a look at the facts, okay? Especially for the baby Camren shippers.
Leilani is Dinah's aunt by marriage. She has always interacted with fans and we saw her in several videos even with Dinah herself, but the first time she showed herself to us as problematic was on July 18, 2016. Leilani tweeted an attack on Taylor Swift and apologized the next day by saying of having been hacked:
Yeah, suuure, because hackers around the world were waiting for nothing but hacking her 🙄 But let's move on. September 8, 2016, was the day Laur cried several times during the concert in Phoenix, Arizona. The next day, on the 9th, before the concert in Irvine, California, Laur tweeted to thank the concerned fans, and Leilani replied to the tweet by exposing L because of the ‘her’:
On December 21st, 2016, she did a live where she talked about Camren after fans asked her about it: https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qvandqF63c1ykfr3q.mp4 (I also put the sub in the video myself)
On January 8, 2017, she posted two Snapchat stories in which she spoke again about Camren with one of her nieces: https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qval74yFz61ykfr3q.mp4
On January 29, 2017, both Camila and Lauren blocked her on social media:
She continued to strike by attacking Camila months later. On July 13, 2017, the same day the 5H interview with Billboard came out, Leilani attacked her by basically calling her a whore. Tweet to which C replied with suspense dots and a Rihanna GIF:
On December 5, 2017, Camila posted the album cover and title by saying that the pre-order would've been possible from the 7th. Because of the album cover picture, Leilani attacked with the first tweet on December 5th, and continued on the 6th:
Then nothing else problematic.
Yes, of course she knew about Camren. All the people close to them know about Camren. Leilani has always been a person who likes attention. She has always liked to show off and be noisy and messy in doing so. It didn't matter how ridiculous she was or that her actions fell upon her niece. The fact that she seemed to be joking and that she was always so evasive and confusing on the subject, is because she herself knew she was going to pay the consequences. She could never have said “yes, they're real” and stick to it. Also because the one who would've paid the most consequences would've been Dinah. You know, being her aunt, it was like her responsibility. And I think D really paid the consequences for something she didn't do. At least, before the sharks took the reins and told her what to do (Leilani through Dinah). It’s happened to a lot of people close to them to get involved over the years. It has been noticed a lot more from 2015 onwards, but especially in 2017 to increase the story of the fake feud between the girls.
So basically, yeah, she was problematic and loud and messy and all of that, but for the most part, she was just following the script.
Hi to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 welcome and thank you very much 🙃 My answer to your question is yes, they've been for a long time by then. You'll find more details on all of that dynamic below in the next ask, dear.
Kinda? 🤣 Okay, let me explain, dear Anon. There was no cheating if this is what you thought with my first answer. But let's go in order. I'll shed some light on the story with Luis once and for all.
Luis Santos' first appearance for us was on January 13, 2013 when Laur posted this picture on IG:
One year later exactly, on January 13, 2014, L posted this picture:
Then we have the one on February 24th (when the girls arrived in Miami because they had three dates in Florida for The Neon Lights Tour) and those of February 25th, 2014 after the concert (posted the day after):
We have the one of April 13, 2014:
The prom ones of May 17, 2014, which were the last pictures with Luis that Laur posted:
And lastly, we have Laur’s birthday one posted by Luis:
The latter lets us understand that their story officially began on January 27, 2014. We don't know when it ended exactly (let's suppose at the beginning of July) because we only had confirmation of it in August thanks to the explanation that Clara gave for that fake scandal:
Now. This is the official story. The one we should’ve bought. But let me show you the behind the scenes. This is Melanie Mueller, Luis's ex:
Luis was in a relationship with Melanie from early August (unfortunately, Luis and Melanie's profiles are all private, but not Melanie's old Twitter) until, according to the narrative, late November 2013:
And this is where the juicy stuff begins. Luis stated that he and Mel were no longer together:
The date coincidentally matches the beginning of his relationship with Lauren on January 27, 2014, right? Right. So how do you explain the fact that Luis and Mel were on a romantic date exactly 13 days after he said they weren't together anymore?
As you can see from the date, it was February, and weren't Lauren and Luis already together since January 27th? 😏 The funny thing is that they kept interacting and taking pictures together:
And then there's the best part. The Camren shippers went wild that year in replacing Luis's face with Camila's twice. The first one with the prom picture 🤣:
And the second one with April picture. Sorry, I really tried but I couldn't find the original manip. But don't worry, I have two better things 😏:
Ohh, I think we know, Mel 😎
And how can we forget one of the many things that remained in the fandom's history and which coincidentally happened just in February a week before the picture of Luis and Melanie's romantic date:
Now that I've given you proofs, it's theory time. We know about the friendship with benefits, the Like Friends Do situation that Camren had, and we know that Lauren was in denial. Luis was a shield. Her shield, especially for the public. It wasn't a PR created by the labels, but by Lauren herself. Laur and Luis were friends, and I mean, they still have been for years. Laur simply asked him for a favor and he accepted. Laur stayed in Miami throughout the Christmas period until the first week of January 2014 before flying to L.A. with the girls. It was then, in that time spent at home that she asked him, and despite knowing the risks, despite knowing he would face fans' hatred, and despite having a girlfriend, Luis agreed to be the fake boyfriend just to help his friend in need. I don't think she told him the real reason behind it right away, but she definitely told him once she and Mila finally got together. Laur came out to her family in early 2015, but it doen't mean she didn't to her friends before. Especially once she and Mila became official in April 2014.
So, dear Anon, yes, in a way, Lauren was with Camila and Luis, but in reality, she was never with Luis.
Hi to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Thank you very much, dear, and that's okay. I don't mind helping when and if I can. It's not a problem at all for me 😊
So, as far as Lolo's situation is concerned, I honestly think Columbia has very little to do with her situation. I mean, Columbia is the biggest record label under Sony Music and has always had a lot of successful artists. From the great names that have made history to the most recent but still famous ones: Michael Jackson, Freddie Mercury, Aretha Franklin, Frank Sinatra, David Bowie, Bob Dylan, Celine Dion, Paul McCartney, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Jay Z, Adele, Alicia Keys, Ricky Martin, Pharrell Williams, Robbie Williams, Katy Perry, Shakira, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, Diplo, OneRepublic (Ryan Tedder), Miley Cyrus, Harry Styles, Zain Malik, Little Mix, Calvin Harris, BTS, Lil Nas X, Meghan Trainor, etc., etc., etc. Believe me, there are really, but really many names that I haven't put in this list.
The purpose of a record label is to make money. To do that, the label finds an artist. The label decides if it's worthwhile for them to sign the artist by investing and advancing the money on them, and if the label believes they can make money with their music, then they don't think twice before signing them. So they invest in the artist, develop them, promote them through the artist's team, and distributes their music in exchange for a percentage of the revenues. If things go smoothly and well, there's a gain, but if things go wrong, the label loses money. [If you want to know more about how the music world works and what the girls had to go through, I wrote a post about it here: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648192055443619840/how-the-music-world-works]
Now, what did I mean by that? As I said before, Columbia is the number one, the biggest and most important umbrella music label under Sony Music Entertainment. So why on earth would a label as big as Columbia Records have signed Lauren and invested in her, but then thwart her and lose a lot of the money they invested themselves? It wouldn't make any sense because it would be like self sabotaging themselves! And what did I say is the purpose of a record label? To make money. Don't be fooled by anyone about it, dear.
I could have understood if this had been an isolated case; if Laur had been the only one among the girls (LAND) who hadn't released an album. But it's not like that. Something, and I'm 100% convinced it's something from their old contracts, has held all four of them up until now. We'll see, dear Anon. Sooner or later, the truth will come out because it always does. Even if it takes years.
Don't apologize, dear, really 😊 Hope things are great with you too and please, take care of yourself too 🤗
Hey to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄
Nada is a song that is part of Tainy's EP called Neon16 Tape: The Kids That Grew Up on Reggaeton, and it's about how two people in an unofficial relationship want completely different things. The guy doesn't want anything serious unlike the girl.
Now. I understand why you're confused, dear. After reading the lyrics and thinking about Camren, you've surely wondered “Where the fuck is Camila in all of this? But does it have something to do with her, or not?”. Well the answer is no. You see, dear, we're used to hearing a lot more Mila's songs than Laur's. When Mila writes, she writes for herself. She writes from her point of view and according to her experiences. Same thing Laur does. But Mila, unlike Laur, can't write a song for other people. She can't detach herself from them when she's writing them. Take as examples all those songs she gave away after finishing them, like Anyone or Ain't Easy. When you listen to them, you can clearly hear Camila all over it even if the song is being sung by someone else, like in these two examples, Justin Bieber and Elijah Woods. But with Laur? Nah, because Lauren can completely detach herself from them.
Take More Than That as an example. Laur didn't write More Than That for herself; she just ‘decided’ to keep it (because it was okay for the narrative she had going on at the time). If she had really given it to someone else and then you had listened to it and knew she was the one who had written it, you would've thought “Really?” with a wtf expression as the first thing. Right? Because you recognize Laur in the song only because you know she's behind it. Am I wrong? And don't get me wrong, dear, this is not by all means a bad thing at all. I'm not saying this as an insult or anything. Quite the opposite actually. I think it's absolutely amazing. Think about it. It's basically the work of songwriters and ghostwriters who only work behind the scenes for other artists. Gosh, they're both so fucking talented 😍
Anyway. What was I getting at with this? To the fact that the same thing happened here with Nada. Nada was written by four songwriters and we have two different points of view to represent the couple in the story. The one of the girls, Laur and Cris Chil (she also worked and wrote with her for Lento), and the one of the boys, C. Tangana and Tainy (like Cris, he wrote with her and produced Lento). Now. I can't tell you who the real protagonist behind the story of the song is because none of them said it, but it's definitely not Lauren. Laur just went with the flow.
Before starting, I would like to also publicly thank my girl @romanticentropy for helping me with the translation (her first language is Spanish), so thank you again, my love 🥰 And I'm not talking about the literal translation. I'm talking about the real meaning behind it since the meaning of many sentences or words can change even based on a simple comma. Therefore, here below you'll find the real translation along with notes placed in parentheses with various explanations. I don't know if you speak Spanish, dear Anon, but we did this for all those people here who don't speak it so that everyone can understand the true meaning of the song.
That said, let's get started.
Verse 1:
“Como te arrimes sí te voy a dar
If you dare come close, I’ll give you [implied: my dick]
Me he puesto guapo pa' verte pasar (Yeah)
I got myself all dressed up to watch you go by (Yeah)
No me pregunte', no quiero pensar
Don't ask me, I don't want to think
No tengo tiempo, no me pue'o casar
I don't have time, I can't get married
Pero, puedo quererte de nuevo
But, I can love you again
Dejar todo el resto pa' luego
[implied because the two sentences go together: And] leave everything else for later
Quedarme pa' ti, que más quieres de mí
To stay for you, what else do you want from me
No odies al jugador odia al juego
Don't hate the player, hate the game
Yo no me he inventado na' (Qué va)
I didn't make anything up (Not at all / Of course not) [‘Qué va’ is an expression, particularly from Spain, that means something like ‘How could you have thought that? Of course not’ said in a casual tone. So, ‘not at all’ is a possible interpretation because he's reassuring he really didn't make anything up]
Sobrevivo en la ciudad (¿Qué?)
I survive in the city (What?)
Me la busco pa' ganar, cien monedas pa' gastar
I'm looking to earn, a hundred dollars to spend [In this sentence, the comma is very important because in ‘me la busco pa' ganar’ read alone, it means that he's finding his ways to earn a living or a better life. When you add ‘cien monedas pa' gastar’, it extends to ‘he's finding his way to earn $100 to spend’, but the comma is important because it keeps alive the idea that he's not only working for the 100 dollars, but also for a better life (possibly a rich kind of life, but that's not necessarily implied)]
Una cama pa' dormir, y un yate pa' vacilar
A bed to sleep in, and a yacht to show off on”
What do we understand from this? That he's actually the one who doesn't want to have a serious relationship because his goal for the moment is to earn and live a good life, not to settle down and get married.
Pre-Chorus:
“Tú ya sabías to' lo que había
You already knew what to expect / You already knew what the situation was
No me hagas cambiar, vida mía
Don't make me change, my darling [He sings ‘vida mía’, which means ‘my life’. Calling someone ‘my life’ is not used in English because it makes no sense in the definition of the language itself. So, in this case, it's translated and used as a loving nickname. As you could call someone ‘my love’, ‘my heart’, ‘my baby’, or ‘my darling’]
Yo te doy hasta que se haga de día
I'll give you until it's daylight
Yo te doy hasta que se haga de día
I'll give you until it's daylight [‘Darle a alguien’, ‘to give to someone’ in Spanish has a sexual connotation. It means you're going to have sex with that person. It’s especially used from a male point of view; particularly this last line, he means he'd have sex with her all night until it's day again]”
He basically tells her: “You knew I'm an asshole. Don't try to change me because it's useless. The only thing I can give you is whole nights of sex”.
Chorus:
Sigue' dándome na', dándome nada
You keep giving me nothing, giving me nothing
Can't keep up with your vibe
'Cause you're up and you're down, 'round and you're 'round, babe
I can not read your mind
Conté lo' día' pa' volverte a ver
I counted the days to see you again
Y tú ni sabe' qué quiere' hacer
And you don't even know what you want to do
Cuando me vaya no voy a volver
When I leave I won’t come back
Sigue' dándome na', dándome nada
You keep giving me nothing, giving me nothing”
This is an ultimatum. “If you keep giving me nothing for much longer, I'll leave you without looking back”.
Verse 2:
“Yo no estoy para regalarte
I'm not here to please you [The literal translation of that is ‘I'm not here to give you’. The incomplete sentence opens an ambiguity where you don't know if she’s saying ‘I'm not here to give you anything’, or ‘I'm not here to give you things’, or ‘I'm not here to fulfill your wishes’, or ‘I'm not here to please you’, or things like that that make you understand that if he's not ready to pay attention to her right now and give her the love she needs, and he's clearly not because he's ‘giving her nothing’, she's not just going to wait there by begging for some love or collecting the crumbs that he leaves behind. She's saying “give me the love and the attention I need or I'll go away on my own”. So overall, ‘I'm not here to please you’ is a decent interpretation]
Ni tampoco para esperarte
Nor to wait for you
Ese dinero no te va a cuidar
That money won’t take care of you
No te pido matrimonio, yo sólo tu arte
I'm not asking you to marry me, just your love [That's the real meaning behind the sentence despite the literal translation being this: I'm not asking you to marry me, just your art]
Cuando no estoy ahí
When I'm not there
Sé que preguntas por mí
I know you ask about me
Sé por qué eres así
I know why you're like this
I know you're afraid of falling in too deep
We can pretend like we’ve only done this for the fun of it
Pero no te sorprendas si te enteras que así como tú hay mil
But don't be surprised to find out there are a thousand just like you around”
Basically: “I'm not asking you to marry me, just to have a real relationship. An exclusive relationship. We can continue to pretend that we just had fun, but I know there's something deeper. I know you're afraid of falling in love with me, but if you keep wanting this kind of relationship, then I'm gonna go find someone who wants the same things as me; also because there are a lot of guys out there and I'm starting to get tired of waiting”.
And that's all, dear Anon. Now that you know the real translation *thanks once again, mi amor 💖* , can you see anything that has to do with Mila? Because I don't. In fact, if I really have to find an association with Camren, the only thing that comes to my mind is that Lauren could have written some parts of her verse from Camila's point of view when they were still just fuckbuddies. You know? Since it was Laur who was initially in denial and was afraid, and not Camila. She was the one who was afraid of the idea of even liking Mila, let alone falling in too deep. But it's not like that. There's nothing of Camila here. There's no Camren here. For me, this song is the story of one of the three (Cris Chil, or C. Tangana, or Tainy) and Laur only contributed to it with her talent.
Of course I can, dear Anon 😉
So. Camila created In the Dark the day after going to the Grammys' after-party (February 12, 2017) with which she went with Ashlee as her date of hers. Mila said she got the idea for the song because of the encounter she had at that party with this unnamed famous guy. Yeah, sure, Jan. We know very well that this is not the case. Just as we know very well that that was the same night in which Tyren had their first public appearance as a fake couple. If you're interested, I've already explained all this also with proofs in my previous post: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/653296412485894144/romanticentropy-fa-by-hiiii-babies-and-dear (last question in my All These Years' interpretation).
If you don't mind, dear Anon, I'll start with the verses because they're the only parts of the song where Mila isn't addressing Lauren directly. In the verses, Camila just observes her by describing their surroundings.
Verse 1:
“Blank stares, faithless
Vampires at the same places
Shadows, traces”
Okay, let's talk about those types of parties for a moment. I bet that when you think about it, you picture a lot of celebrities having fun and dancing, glam, alcohol, drugs, music, and all those kinds of things, right? Well, that's just as true as it isn't. You see, there aren't just celebrities at those parties. There are one or more of they team members, there are A&R representatives of various labels, CEOs, publicists, producers, marketing representatives, radio and television presenters, reporters, designers, advertisers, etc., etc., etc. Those parties are the epicenter of business-talk. Very often, this is where ideas for collaborations, for PRs, for endorsements and sponsorships, for movie and TV appearances, etc., etc., happen. For those celebrities who have to be there for business reasons and not for actually having fun, those parties are pretty boring.
With those sentences, Mila describes all the people around her during that party. Those people who aren't having fun because they're surrounded by what she calls vampires. Before they marketed them by making them sparkle in the sun because of the crystals on their skin, or before they made them wear a gemstone in daylight rings, bracelets, and amulets to make them walk in the sun, you know? Before they become basically trendy, vampires were always the villains. But don't get me wrong with that. I saw the Twilight saga and I love love love The Vampire Diaries, but the fact remains that before all of that franchise, vampires have always been used in horror and scary genres because they're evil. Also because if you think about it, what do vampires do? They suck blood by basically feeding on the life force of creatures by draining them to survive and not decompose since they're undead. They need to take a life to keep living theirs, so yeah, they are the bad guys.
So Mila here describes both the bored people, the ones with blank stares who in those cases are the shadows of their true selves because they're pretending to be who they aren't, and those people of power as bloodsuckers, life-suckers: vampires. And I don't blame her at all because that's what they do. Vampires, or puppet masters, or parasites, or as you guys know I like to call them: sharks.
“I know that you feel me”
Now. Now, now, now, now, now, now. What does this sentence make us understand? Picture you're in a place full of people. Picture pretending that you're having fun because you can't show how much you actually want to be somewhere else. Picture smiling and forcibly laughing at the bullshit someone's saying. It's all about image. Now picture seeing someone you know amidst that sea of people. You and this person are far from each other, and at the moment, you both are busy talking to other people. Even though you turned around to keep having this oh so great conversation with those people, you can feel the person you know. You can feel their presence despite being on opposite sides. You can totally feel that they're still looking at you, and you have confirmation of that the moment you turn towards them again.
Apply all of this on Camren now. We know how they've always attracted each other. We know how they've always searched and checked each other when they were on opposite sides of a room. We know how they've always felt each other. So it's not that hard for me to picture how it went in this case. I understand what Mila means when she says she knows Laur could feel her despite the place and all the people around them. Because it's always been that way between them, and we've actually seen them do it many times.
Verse 2:
“Plus one, guest list
But you don't even know what her name is
Secrets, endless
I know that you feel me”
This is a repetition similar to the first verse. Mila here continues to describe the people around her and those around Laur. People who are there because they're on a list thanks to someone they don't even really know. People who in those events become totally fake because they all have secrets to hide, including the two of them. People who pretend to be friends with each other just for a matter of image without even knowing their real names, their real selves. People who are so used to wearing a mask that they've by now become that mask. And among all the sea of these people, Mila knows that Laur can feel her. Evidently as much as she can feel Laur.
Refrain:
“You’re runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin' (oh)
Making the rounds with all your fake friends”
As I said before, many celebrities wear a mask, this facade for protection. They do it to show themselves as unproblematic and to show themselves almost as perfect in the eyes of others. If you think about it, it's the same thing we see in many celebrities and even in Camren when they have to promote something. Neither of the two of them has problems showing themselves to us in a vulnerable, authentic way, without make-up ‘al natural’. But as soon as they have to promote something, bam! Dresses, nails done, make-up, and hair. It's quite normal on the one hand. I understand that. But the problem, as Mila herself said, is when this fake persona takes over your authentic self.
In this part, Mila explains how she was observing Lauren's behavior. This facade that she was wearing because they were in that kind of environment with those kinds of people and those fake friends (yes, including Tabloid). This mirage that allowed her to run and hide her true self from everyone, even from Camila herself.
“Runnin', runnin' away from it (away)”
Especially in this part, and despite having seen her fake act many times before, Mila lets us understand how Lauren was 'running' and suppressing/hiding her authentic self in front of everyone. [I remember that period. Lauren didn't act like Lauren for a while]
You can strip down without showing skin, now”
Okay, this? This sentence right here, it's magic. It's pure art. “It's okay to show the realistic side of yourself without exposing yourself and also having to show your secrets or what you want to keep to yourself. There's no need to act like a completely different person from who you are”. Camila leaves me more and more speechless with her way of writing and expressing such true and profound concepts.
Pre-Chorus:
“I can see you're scared of your emotions
I can see you're hoping, you're not hopeless
So why can't you show me?
Why can't you show me?
I can see you're looking for distractions
I can see you're tired of the acting
So why can't you show me?”
The pre-chorus explains itself quite well. Mila's saying “I know you. I see what you're doing. I see your fear. I see the way you want a way out. I see how tired you are of this farce. So why are you faking it? Why are you faking it in front of me? Why are you faking it with me? Show me the real Lauren. Not this industry puppet. Show me the Lauren I know”.
Chorus:
“Who are you in the dark? (I, I)
Show me the scary parts (I, I)
Who are you when it's 3AM and you're all alone
And L.A. doesn't feel like home? (I, I, I)
Who are you in the dark?”
Who are you in the dark? = Who are you when no one's watching. Who are you when no one can judge you. Who are you when you're alone and you can really lower that protective barrier you create around you. Show me that. Show me all of you.
Camila mentions 3AM because, as we well know thanks to their other songs, it was the nighttime hours when they were able to spend more time together freely. She also mentions L.A. to make a comparison with Miami since Los Angeles is the second city they spend the most time in due to their careers.
If in the pre-chorus Mila really asks her to show her her true self, here in the chorus she instead asks her a rhetorical question accompanied by the explanations themselves like the specific examples 3AM and L.A. to make/show her point even more. Basically the same explanation as the pre-chorus: “Who are you, because I know, I know you, so why don't you show me?”. And I really love this connection between pre-chorus and chorus.
Bridge:
“Darling, come on and let me in
Darling, all of the strangers are gone, they're gone
I said, darling, come on and let me see”
The difference between the pre-chorus & chorus and this, is the more affectionate way she addresses her. She's asking her in a cute way also thanks to the use of that classic old-school pet name, to open up and show herself. She's telling her that it's okay now that they're alone. And most importantly, she's reassuring her with this:
“Darling, I promise that I won't run”
After hurting each other, after the omissions and the secrets, after the fights, after the non-communication, after that toxicity, in short, after everything they'd been through in those years and the way things had ended between them almost two months prior, this is really serious. She's promising her that she'll stay. That's the first step, or at least what we know was the first step thanks to this song, towards a healthy relationship and towards a real positive change in their relationship.
And by the way, wooohh, this whole transition is amazing!
Outro:
“Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Who are you in the dark?
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Who are you in the dark?
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Who are you in the dark?
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Who are you in the dark?”
And that's all, dear Anon. I hope you liked my interpretation 🙃
P.S. When Sinu said “Number nine is my shit!” during that live, I felt that. Mama Sinu was right. Even after all this time, this song is still the shit 😎
🤸🏻♀🤸🏻♀🤸🏻♀
Aaand I'm done 👩🏻💻 I hope I was helpful in this case too 😄 Thank you all for your asks and as usual, know that I'm available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊
Before I go, I wanted to apologize for this huge delay. In addition to my job, it was due to the fact that I'm in the middle of a relocation. For about two months for 21 years, I always go to a place by the sea for the summer. I'll be there from today and I'll be back in September. Unfortunately there isn't much connection there, but there's a single wi-fi. I don't know if I'll continue to answer the asks all together with a post or individually. I'll see how to organize myself once I'm there. I apologize in advance if I'll take longer than usual to reply, but at least you know that it's because there's not much connection there (and you have to keep in mind that I’ll continue working normally because I’m not on holiday yet). Everything will be back to normal in September.
That being said, always remember to be kind, to others and to yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏��� Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️
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Drunken Snaps & Unrequited love
Chapter two
pairing: felix x reader, with a hint of chan
word count: 1,376
warnings: mentions of alcohol abuse and fighting
group: skz
The morning is fresh, and rich with the smell of earthy autumn leaves. A cool breeze drifts through the holes in my cream sweater, and on any other day, I'd exhale with a smile and thank the universe for a cool day to break the cycle of endless heat. Today, however, I'm holding in that breath. My body is tense and stiff. I’ve dreaded this Monday morning and its consequences for two days.
As I slide into the seat of my car, I open snapchat, and read over the messages to which I still haven't responded. Part of me feels guilty, and rightfully so. Felix does not deserve to be left on open. However the situation is tricky, and I fear saying the wrong thing.
Last Friday, I made a big mistake.
Before Christopher arrived, Felix Lee and I were best friends. We grew up together, experienced middle school alongside one another. We giggled together when Mrs. Miller would mispronounce words, or when Peter DeWitt would run down the halls screaming profanities. The beauty of public school was the friends i’d made, and the heartbreaks, and the fights and make ups. And all the while the smaller blonde remained by my side, faithfully, as if it were his only responsibility.
It never occurred to me why…
Felix is a straight A student. He does his community service at the local animal shelter to play with all the “lonely dogs”. He’s on the swim team, and swimming has given him a beautiful physique, but the boy only wears baggy sweaters and hoodies. He is trustworthy and patient, and anyone would be lucky to have him. And yet, he chose me.
In another life, if I'd never met Christopher, I might have loved felix.
When Chris moved here, and started school our freshman year, Felix grew distant. He hung around less, came over less, and began cancelling plans. He snarled his nose when I would speak of chris. He would act annoyed when I would lose myself in thoughts of him. And now, I understand.
The smell of sweat, and ungodly amounts of Victoria's secret perfume hits me like a brick as I walk through the doors. I’m eyeing my surroundings, turning every corner with caution so I don't run into Felix unintentionally. Of course, I plan on confronting him eventually, but for now, avoiding him seems to be the most promising option. The homeroom bell has not rung yet, so i opt for a quick stop by my locker. It would benefit my stressed out mind not to have 30 extra pounds of weight on my back.
But my heart stops when I see him standing at my locker. Why him, why now.
“uh...Chris. What’s up?”
He’s leaning against my locker, arms crossed with a friendly smile.
“Oh, hey, I was waiting for you!” He speaks in his thick aussie accent. I do my best not to melt into a puddle.
“Yea, I noticed. What can I help you with?” I ask. It’s too early for this.
“Actually, (y/n) was it? I need some help with something, and I was told you could help. Do you know Clara?” He asks. I flinch at the name. And suddenly i realize, she was the blonde girl with the flowers.
“You mean Clara Casteel? Yeah, Why?”
“Well,” he reaches a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “I was hoping you would talk to her for me.”
“uhhh...Clara and I haven't talked since 5th grade. You know we aren’t-”
“I know I know, the big fight, your parents, the drinking. You aren’t friends with her anymore. But why would that stop you from at least trying?” He persists. I stare at him in confusion. Why would he push me to talk to her if he knew what had happened. And who told him that I would?
“I...i’m gonna get to class.” I mutter, brows furrowed.
The lunch bell rings, and I’m awoken from my class nap. Nobody seems to have suspected anything. I rise from my seat slowly and stretch out my stiff limbs. Something catches my eye. A tiny ghost notification. My heart beats a little faster and I curse at myself for being so afraid.
I open up a snap, and as I suspected, it’s felix. This time, without thinking i open it to reveal all four messages.
“(y/n)? Did you get my snap?”
“Am I bothering you?”
“When can I see you?” and finally
“(y/n) i’m sitting in the far left corner at the empty table. Please come sit with me.”
I sigh, collecting my things and trudging to the lunchroom. When I arrive, marissa waves me over, but my eyes instinctively drift to the far left corner. And there he is. In front of him is a single chocolate muffin and a ceramic travel mug of tea. He’s sporting an oversized blue knit sweater and a pair of ripped jeans, his platinum locks tousled from the outdoor wind. He must have walked to starbucks for lunch.
The boy has his slim legs crossed at the calves, and he’s giggling at something on his phone. I almost want to go sit with him. I start to turn to head towards marissa’s table, when i see felix pop his head up. He immediately looks at me, and breaks out in a grin. Suddenly, the boy waves me over, pulling a small Starbucks bag up from the seat next to him. Que the guilt.
Against my better judgement I start to walk over, and he’s practically buzzing with excitement. When I reach the table, the boy is at his peak of happiness.
“Oh, (y/n) for a second i thought you wouldn’t show, but i’m so glad you did. I saw you finally opened my snaps, you must not have gotten them until today.” he rambles. I crack a smile.
“Yeah, I got them. Is that for me?” I smirk. He grins, and he resembles the sun.
“Oh, yeah! It's a lemon pound cake. I know it’s your favorite.” he bounces it off his seat as he hands it to me. It’s a little crumbled. I chuckle.
The blonde stares down bashfully as I take a bite of it, pulling his small hands into the holes of his sleeves. For a minute I can see the sheer infatuation in his eyes. He’s so genuine, and full of life. He deserves to have someone, he deserves to be loved on. But I just don’t want to push him further away than I already had.
“You know,” he mumbles, “I almost questioned if that snap was even for me. But why else would you have talked to me at hyunjin’s party?” I frown, resting my chin on my palm. “Anyway, I'm glad you did. I’ve loved you since 6th grade. I felt so bad for you after what happened with Clara. I thought you were still hung up on chris.”
“Well…” I begin “we’ll see what happens.” I gave a weak smile, taking another bite of the treat.
“Can I take you out this weekend? Well, I mean...you’ll have to drive us, but dinner is on me.” he smiles bashfully.
Before I have the opportunity to answer, the bell rings yet again. We stand, and Felix does a small stretch. He waddles over to me with his arms outstretched, and embraces me around my waist. He has a look of joy on his face, almost as if he were a child holding a puppy.
As the lunchroom grows empty, the boy looks at me in the eyes for the first time with red cheeks. Platinum bangs falling into his eyes.
“(y/n), i missed you. Please don’t forget about me this time.” he whispers. The room is silent as we stand alone in the far left corner of the lunch room. I brush the hair away from his face and he wrinkles his nose.
“I’ll pick you up at 5:00 on friday” I whisper to him, letting go of his small body and exiting through the metal doors.
Outside the art room, Clara Casteel giggles, twirling her hair as Chris smiles his lopsided smile. Our eyes meet as I pass by.
#DS&UL#felix#skz#stray kids#felix x reader#stray kids felix#felix lee#bang chan#chan x reader#sub!felix
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Your Words Fill The Space Between Us
The published letters that detail the romance that changed the kingdom.
~~~~
Aka Roman and Janus send each other letters
Taglist: @angels-and-dreams @ollyollyoxinfree @gattonero17 @chumo-cookie @dreaming-always @anxiety-ismy-name @mrbubbajones @janustheliar @why-do-you-care @hogwarts-my-love
Ao3 - Masterlist
Your Words Fill The Space Between Us
September 18th
J,
I received the gift you sent with your previous letter, and I wanted to ensure I thanked you for it- despite how bold it was. But I suppose that has always been something I liked about you- even if my heart very nearly stopped when Mother asked who the flowers and watch had come from. I was forced to give her the flowers (but I kept the watch for myself) after telling her it came from a businessman I work with (I am blessed that she didn’t ask which of them it was). Though I was disappointed to give up the flowers. I don’t even remember mentioning my favorite flowers and yet you knew anyways. Are you using your power for useless things again? I hope not, you have enough on your plate as it is without worrying about what I like and dislike. But if it truly crosses your mind do know that what I like are your letters and the rare moments we spend together.
But enough about that, more importantly I will be aiding my father this year so I too will get the pleasure of attending the New Year’s Ball. I hope when I arrive you can finally show me the spot you’ve described with the view of the whole city.
R.
~~~~
September 23rd
R,
I am glad my present to you was received well. As to your comment regarding whether or not I was using my power correctly, all I must say is that if it is my power I shall use it as I please. If that happens to be to determine your favorite flowers so be it, my servants are paid accordingly. Also, once I get more power laws change and I get you- so I truly see no downside.
I cannot wait until you get here, I will show you all my favorite spots here to view the scenery and my favorite places in town to shop and eat. We’ll need to think of an excuse for why we spend so much time together though, but we have the time to work out a story.
Speaking of, with this letter I am sending you a book. It’s one I just found by chance and I fell in love with instantly, I’m sure you’ll do the same. Be sure to send me your thoughts when you finish.
J.
~~~~
October 17th
J,
You are utterly horrific. Sending me a book that plays with my emotions like that. I wouldn’t have gotten so invested if I just knew she was going to die like that! Not even from her disease but from an assassin that’s horrible. Just horrible.
I stayed up to finish the last few chapters and now it’s late and I’m crying, but I don’t want the maids to hear. You’re horrible. And to prove it I’m sending you a book.
R.
~~~~
November 2nd
R,
I truly am dastardly aren't I? I laughed a lot at your letter, it was the exact response I was expecting. You never disappoint dearest. As for the book you sent me I unfortunately am yet to open it. I wasn’t planning on sending this letter until completing it, but things have gone bleak in terms of negotiations. I’ve been spending all my time locked in my office taking over my father’s daily work in addition to my own while he tries to calm things with the other delegations. At present I should actually be overlooking some documents, but I feel if I do I will truly lose my mind.
I miss you.
I know that if you were just here sitting beside me I would instantly feel energized.
At least the ball is next month.
J.
~~~~
November 4th
R,
I doubt you have even received my last letter as I write this, but I must tell you to withhold sending other letters. I’m not entirely sure why, but Father is suspicious of something and is having mail checked.
I’ll send word when the coast is clear.
J.
~~~~
December 22nd
R,
My father has found whatever it is he is looking for, so we should be fine now. But that did take longer than I thought. So much has happened in the last few weeks.
Mother’s sudden illness, and sister’s broken engagement, not to mention that the countries on either side of us have declared war and both are begging for us to pick a side. It’s beyond tiring. Father still insists upon holding the ball though, so I’ll see you then. I wonder if this letter will even reach you before you depart for the capital.
I hope I’ll have the time to show you around as I promised.
J.
~~~~
December 27th
J,
I was about to respond to your first letter when the second arrived. You must’ve sent one of your fastest messengers. As for your third and most recent letter I received it just before climbing in the carriage. We are staying in the Barony tonight, which is where I write this letter from. But I will wait to have it sent to you until I reach the capital.
I too hope we can meet up during the festivities, at least for a minute and even better if that minute was spent alone so we can speak freely. But please, remember that you mustn't push yourself too hard.
R.
~~~~
December 31st
R,
There is a small balcony west of the ballroom and past the room where the ladies rest. It’s secluded. We can use our usual signal, I’ll meet you there.
J.
~~~~
January 1st
R,
I cannot describe how amazing it was to simply hug you again. And as I said before it was wonderful to see how your dancing had improved. I’m sorry that our time together was so short, I will send you word as soon as I know when I can slip out of the palace. Maybe, two nights from now I can try? That’s when the commoners set up an array of stalls with games and prizes. Would you like to go?
J.
~~~~
January 2nd
J,
Of course I want to go! We will go and I will beat you at every game! But I don't have any clothes that would help me blend in. Also, how do you intend to disguise yourself?
R.
~~~~
January 3rd
R,
With this letter are clothes for you to wear tonight. I’ll meet you outside the gates by the large willow about an hour after dinner. And as to your question, I will be wearing a blonde wig.
J.
~~~~
January 4th
J,
You cheated. That’s the only way you could have won so many games. I don't care that you said you didn’t, you most certainly did.
R.
~~~~
January 5th
R,
You are free to believe what you like.
For the closing ball tomorrow we can meet at the same spot as the first night. And I have a surprise for you.
J.
~~~~
January 6th
R,
I swear I didn’t know.
I am so sorry. I didn’t know, I saw you crying and run off and I’m sorry that I couldn’t run after you. I’m sorry. Can I come by so we can talk?
J.
~~~~
January 8th
R,
You’re leaving tomorrow right? Please respond so I can see you before you do.
J.
~~~~
January 9th
R,
I understand you’re mad at me, and I won’t even ask you not to be. But I will ask that you at least try understand the position I am in.
And I hope you travel safely home.
J.
~~~~
January 16th
J,
Did you really not know?
R.
~~~~
January 19th
R,
I didn’t. My father sprung it on me, the same way he did to every party guest. He didn’t even tell me which nation he was leading towards in terms of support, much less this.
J.
~~~~
January 22nd
J,
Will you marry her?
R.
~~~~
January 25th
R,
I don’t want her. I want and I love you.
J.
~~~~
January 28th
J,
That’s not what I asked. I asked if you will follow through with the engagement.
R.
~~~~
January 31st
R,
I don’t have a choice. I thought I could spend more time living as the Crown Prince before I could reject the role and leave the crown to my brother. I thought I could do that if my parents ever brought up marriage- but this is more than a marriage. It’s war.
If I don’t marry the Delphine our trade routes are shut off- and since we already cut ties with the empire by my father announcing the engagement. If I reject this for you, I put the whole kingdom at risk. I… I don’t know if I can do that.
J.
~~~~
February 4th
J,
Surely there’s another way! Why can’t she just marry your brother?
R.
~~~~
February 10th
R,
Do you truly think I haven’t looked for one? My hands are tied. The only possible thing I could do to even have you near me is to bring you here as an advisor or the like when the time comes. I can find a way if it’s that.
J.
~~~~
February 14th
J,
No. I will not stand to the side just watch as you dance and hold hands with her for the public’s morale. I would rather die than that.
R.
~~~~
February 19th
R,
Please don’t be so dramatic. I am trying all I can think of in between my hectic schedule. But if you truly don’t like my efforts tell me, do you have any brilliant ideas?
J.
~~~~
February 25th
J,
Don’t mock me, Your Highness. You’re not the one who has had his heart stepped on repeatedly. You’ve been making me promises for years- am I not allowed to be upset when I find out that they’re hollow?
R.
~~~~
March 2nd
R,
You’re unbelievable. Feel free to sulk all you wish, meanwhile I need to continue my regular duties, prepare a wedding, and prepare for war.
J.
~~~~
March 5th
J,
War? I thought our kingdom was just to supply aid.
R.
~~~~
March 8th
R,
I’m getting married to the daughter of a nation who declared war upon the empire. Of course war will come to our borders as well.
J.
~~~~
March 23rd
J,
Father got the invitation to the wedding this morning. I wanted to tear it to shreds. Have you truly thought of nothing yet? Something other than me working for you?
R.
~~~~
March 29th
R,
I’m sorry to say I haven’t. In the months since the ball and start of the war I haven’t gotten anywhere with my Father- and Mother’s decline isn’t helping.
J.
~~~~
April 1st
J,
What? I had heard she was getting better?
R.
~~~~
April 6th
R,
That’s just the rumor I spread to redirect attention. She’s getting worse if anything.
J.
~~~~
April 10th
J,
I am so sorry.
R.
~~~~
August 12th
J,
It’s been a long time since my last letter, I’m not sure how many months. I guess I should follow custom and congratulate you on the wedding even if I am late. You at least looked very nice on your wedding day. You’ve truly perfected that fake smile.
I’m sorry for how I acted when I heard about your engagement. I know you didn’t want this either. And I know it’s late for this, but I’ll come work for you if that’s what it takes. The more I try to pretend that I don’t love you- the harder it gets- and the more it hurts.
R.
~~~~
August 17th
Lord Roman Regis,
Please do not waste my time and deny that you are the author of the letter I just read. I intend to keep this letter brief. I do not wish to know what kind of relationship you have with my husband, but I must request that it ceases. My husband serves as a figure to both nations, and he cannot have anyone dragging him down. Especially not someone of a lower stature.
If you contact him again, there will be consequences.
Crown Princess Delphine Ekans
~~~~
August 22nd
Crown Princess,
Your Highness I apologize for any misunderstandings I may have caused, but please speak to Janus. I’m sure he will explain everything.
Lord Roman Regis
~~~~
August 26th
Lord Roman Regis,
To think a measly count’s son can not only tell me what to do, but he can be bold enough to refer to my husband without a title. I already asked you not to drag my husband down, and by doing so you have disregarded my warning.
Do remember that you have brought this upon yourself Lord Roman.
Crown Princess Delphine Ekans
~~~~
September 5th,
Ro,
You know all those times I told you to just get out there and just love the prince if you actually love him? Well this is not what I meant. I mean like you should speed up that “perfect” plan you two always talked about, not that you should wait so long that he got married. And definitely not so long that his wife outed your “despicable crush on the married crown prince”- however I can say that the papers are currently god tier with gossip. I have been asked for interviews like four times and I love it. Oh and have some faith in me, I didn’t talk to them- for long.
Anyway, lover boy should be able to help you out of this, right?
The better you,
Remus
~~~~
September 10th,
Remus,
Sometimes I hate you, and then when I remember we shared a womb I hate you even more. But even so, I thank you for being the one “calm” person about this. Mother and Father (mainly Mother) have been up in arms about how big of a disgrace I am, and just about every noble in the kingdom is in agreement. It doesn't matter that just about every unmarried woman pines after the Crown Prince even after he got married, because when a man does it- because that Witch known as the Crown Princess publishes my letter- I’m somehow a deviant.
I haven’t left the manor since word got out. And I am just flooded with letters from friends and other nobles, but truthfully I am too scared to read them. Maybe I’ll have a trusted maid read them and pick out the kind ones, but I am not sure.
I have no clue what is going on with Janus at the moment. I am yet to receive anything from him- most likely due to the Crown Princess’ interference. I wish I could know what was happening behind the palace doors... I truly do.
This is why I just wanted to run off to somewhere else, but Janus was confident he could change the laws for us and then we could go live quietly somewhere... I wish things were that simple.
I rather not discuss this anymore truthfully. I'd like to have a normal conversation again. So tell me, do you have any stories to tell of your travels? Reading them would prove far more interesting than anything here.
The best twin,
Roman
~~~~
September 18th,
Remus,
Given I am yet to receive a response from you, so I assume you are on the move once more, but I thought I should send you an update letter before you hear the filtered version from word of mouth.
I am currently being escorted to the palace. I know some will think I am to get some sort of punishment, but Janus sent one of the guards with a verbal message that he is handling this in his own way. I have no choice but to place my trust in him. Mother was still worried about it, Father interestingly seemed to be rooting for me but we didn’t get to talk more about it. But I know I will see Janus soon and that thought comforts me. Even though I know his wife will be close behind.
I’ll keep you updated on what transpires. But I still expect traveling stories. Like honestly, what was the point of you joining the navy if I don't get to read any seafaring adventures? You aren’t fighting in the war so surely there must be pirates or something? Or some stories about sirens and other such creatures? I want to read them all.
And in return you can have me as your wonderful twin.
The twin that matters,
Roman
~~~~
September 21st
Roman,
It almost seems strange to be able to address you by your name in a letter, but I like it all the same. I am very sorry for my silence and for Delphine’s actions. The former was a result of a few things: the first being my traveling to the battle front. I'm sorry I did not tell you prior to leaving, I did not want you to worry, but... I spent some time in battle. I was on my way back when your letter reached the palace and Delphine had taken it before I knew it even existed. Then upon my return I was busy dealing with Mother’s health and my war reports- I had intended to write other excuses here but truthfully I was scared of your reaction. I was scared that you would have just given up on me- on us. I had written and thrown away over 20 letters that I started without finishing before Delphine handed me a paper with a letter I had never seen published on the front page.
We had a long argument, about her not having the right to do such a thing to a “friend” of mine. It took a lot of time to cool things down and convince everyone to allow you to come here. Your father had sent me a letter saying he was worried for your safety, and that was enough to pull them to my side to bring you out of harm's way.
I am sorry I cannot currently go to see you, right now everyone believes I am just trying to clean up a mess that my wife blew way out of proportion and going to you would only start rumors. The knight who will deliver this letter- Virgil- can be trusted. He may huff and roll his eyes, but he does not pry and will not look at the contents of the letters. As he put it, he will only do the bare minimum of his job, and being curious and nosy takes too much energy. So you can send your letters through him. I swear I will figure something out.
In the meantime I hope your quarters are comfortable, let me know if they are not.
Yours,
Janus
~~~~
September 22nd,
Janus,
You are an absolute idiot. You went to war, without telling me? What if something had happened to you? Are you crazy? No of course you are. You’re absolutely insane- and I am so so glad that you are alright.
It has been strange being here in the palace, I don't often leave my room due to the looks servants give as I pass by, but my room is comfortable and Virgil makes good conversation. He certainly doesn’t have the demeanor of most knights which is enjoyable. Reminds me a bit of my twin in a way- but I think both would disagree.
Regardless, I have a request for you even though I know you will disagree. I wish to speak with the Crown Princess. I do not know how much you have told her, so I can keep things sounding one sided if you wish- but I want to speak to her. If you don't give an answer I like, I will simply write to her myself.
Roman
~~~~
September 22nd
Roman,
And you call me crazy. Why would you want to meet with the woman who ruined your life? You wrote in the same letter that even servants are scorning you- I will have Virgil report to me who they are so they can be fired immediately- and yet you wish to speak with her? I will not allow it.
Janus
~~~~
September 24th
Janus,
As you read this the Crown Princess should be receiving her letter as well. I kept it simple, just asking for tea with the promise of an apology. But before I schedule a time to meet with her, I want to know... do you like your wife?
Roman
~~~~
September 25th
Roman,
Delphine showed me the letter and she gave some unkind phrases to go with. I told her not to accept your invitation- but I think she wants to even more now. As to your question, I don’t know what I think of her. I hate what she has done to you, but I do not hate her (entirely) as a person. I admire the fact that she will go to great lengths to help her people, but I certainly do not like her. Or perhaps it’s better to say that I like her in the way one likes a business partner? Appreciating when they get the job done well, and hating when they don't. I am not sure if that answers your question, but I do not know how else to better phrase my thoughts.
Janus
~~~~
September 27th
Janus,
I met the Second Prince yesterday. He came to my room and chided me for not getting enough sunlight and fresh air, before he ordered me to accompany him to the gardens. He seems far too kind to be of royal blood. Oh, while he denies it I definitely say Virgil stealing glances at the Prince. It was quite adorable actually.
I am laughing to myself as I write this and he looks on, it is most amusing. Do tell you brother to visit again.
Roman
~~~~
September 28th
Roman,
Patton is definitely too pure for this palace, if he wasn’t the spitting image of father I would think he was illegitimate. As for him and Virgil... I rather not speculate, no one and I mean no one is good enough for Patton.
In more important news I will be accompanying Delphine to your tea tomorrow. At least for the beginning of it. Seeing you two together with my own eyes is the only way I can be sure someone won't attack the other.
I’ll see you then love.
Janus
~~~~
September 29th
Janus,
Since I am sure you are worried about what I and Crown Princess Delphine spoke of in your absence here is a few notes about what we discussed:
The fact that I have loved you since our academy days
That my feelings won't change no matter what she does
That I don't want anything negative to befall either country
She did not once ask about your thoughts or feelings, they seemed relevant to her
She doesn’t want me near you. She says it will ruin the reputation she is building
I do not know what this means for us, but at the very least I think I understand what you meant about having a business partner relationship.
Roman
~~~~
October 2nd
Roman,
Good to know your talk with her was for mostly nothing. She has more recently gone to my father about some scheme to boost morale and he seems to be on board. So she’s at least distracted for the time being.
In surprising news Mother wishes to meet you. She’s probably the one person who knows everything simply because she sees through every lie I tell. But thankfully she never questions me on the truth. You’ll receive an official invite from her soon.
Janus
~~~~
October 4th
Janus,
Your mother is one of the kindest people on the planet. She kept fretting over if I was okay, and meanwhile she is the one bedridden. And you were certainly right about her knowing the whole story, because it is clear she is rooting for us! She told me she just wants you to be happy, and marrying for love is something she wished you could do. She did also say she wanted to give the Crown Princess a “stern talking to”, and I think that would be hilarious to watch.
Roman
~~~~
October 14th 4th
Logan,
This year has been an absolute shitshow. Have you even heard what’ss going on? Because I haven’t heard a word fom you. But I suppose what else should I expect from the disaprearing count? I just want to marry for love and be done with the fucking war? Is that so bap? Delphine is making this hard, but I know she just wants things to be not war… it’s all so annoying. What should I do lo?
Your only friend,
Jans
~~~~
October 5th
Mother and Father,
I want you to know that despite all that has occurred I am well. I have gotten a chance to speak to the Crown Prince and Princess, and the Queen. Currently the Crown Prince intends to release rumors regarding the Duke’s family (which may or may not involve treason so please pull any assets out quickly) to stop the month long gossip about me. Once that happens, I am not sure if I will be staying here or returning home but I will let you know once I figure it out. Living in the palace certainly isn’t bad after all. The food is to die for. I may try to lengthen my stay just because of it. So don’t worry about me, worry about Remus who just sent me a letter detailing too many things about pirates that would make you cry in shame.
The lesser of two evils,
Roman
~~~~
October 8th
Crown Prince Janus Ekans,
I was quite surprised to get your letter and even more surprised by it’s contents. I have told you multiple times it is not becoming of a prince to send letters written in a drunken stupor.
Yes, I am well aware of the gossip in the capital that you have involved yourself in. But I saw no need to send you a letter of my own thoughts when I am not involved in your marital issues. If you were simply writing to me to rant and rave, then your letter was received. And I would like to say that I do have other friends.
Regardless, please expedite the report enclosed, it is part of our winter preparations.
Count Logan Ackroyd
~~~~
October 9th
Janus,
I went into town with Prince Patton (who gave me permission to call me by his name) and Virgil today. We went in disguise of course, but we got to go to a great many shops and try some good food. I bought you a present while we were out, but with the current circumstances I don’t believe I should send it with this letter. If you ever find the time to drop by my room please come and get it.
As we went about I couldn’t shake two thoughts from my mind, the first being that fall looks so different here in the capital, and the second was that it’s been nearly a year since we promised to do such things together. I still await the day where you show me your favorite spots.
I hope those times come soon.
Roman
~~~~
October 10th
Roman,
I too hope for the same, and I would love to see what it is you got me, but we have an obstacle at present. A few actually. While the war is finally moving in our favor, I fear that the Duke’s situation is less clear than I thought. In addition to that, Father wants you sent home to the county sooner than later. And if that’s not enough, Delphine wishes to speak with you before you leave- I will do my best to convince her otherwise. I’m not sure when they want your departure to be, I’m currently negotiating and thankfully Patton is on my side.
Janus
~~~~
October 11th
Ro,
So in my quest to find exciting stories for you I may or may have not taken a cutlass to the leg. It nearly got cut clean off! Or well that’s the story I’ll tell at least. Anyway, I’m gonna be home for a while so you should come visit your dearest twin. And as for get well presents there’s nothing better than basically all the sweets in the capital so I’ll take those please and thank you. Oh and buy me some of those racy novels you pretend you don’t read. Mother saw the word “tentacle” then burned mine.
Your horribly wounded and now sickly and pathetic twin,
Remus
~~~~
October 12th
Janus,
I heard from Prince Patton that there will be a party next week. He was asking me if I plan to go with him, and truthfully I’d like to, but I also don't want to undo anything either. What do you think?
Roman
~~~~
October 13th
Roman,
I’m afraid that your attendance will not be a good idea. But, I’ve heard sickness is floating around the palace. It would be truly tragic if I can’t attend. The greatest of tragedies.
Janus
~~~~
October 15th
Dearest Husband,
At least for the sake of appearances, can you pretend like you’re not missing your lover when we’re in public? It’s very nearly sickening.
Your Wife,
Delphine
~~~~
October 15th
Delphine,
I don’t believe I ever said he was my lover. Also if you want a conversation just come here. Thomas is a knight not a messenger.
Janus
~~~~
October 15th
Dearest Husband,
Sir Thomas shall be what I ask him to be. But on topic, if Lord Regis is not your lover then Queen Mother is in perfect health. If you’re going to ignore my and your kingdom’s wishes then at the very least be subtle. Please and thank you.
Oh and I will not be joining you for dinner, your sister asked me to dine with her.
Your Wife,
Delphine
~~~~
October 17th
Janus,
I’m afraid the party must wait (and for shame my meeting with the Crown Princess must wait as well). I have just received word that Remus was injured- not gravely though- so he is currently resting at home. I must return as soon as possible to rescue my parents from his madness. Well after I buy all the things the idiot requested.
Roman
~~~~
October 18th
Janus,
I love the jacket thank you so so so much. I’ll be sure to wear it the next time I see you, which will likely be the New Year’s Ball. I’ll write to you again as soon as I get home.
Roman
~~~~
October 21st
Janus,
I have just arrived and I already wish I had stayed in the palace. Mother is already talking about how lucky I am that despite the “scandal” she found a woman who would be willing to marry me. Maybe I’ll tell her to invite this poor girl over while Remus is here. Hopefully that scares her off.
Roman
~~~~
October 26th
Roman,
What do you think about eloping?
Janus
~~~~
November 1st
Janus,
You are aware of the fact that you’re married right? Also two men marrying isn't exactly legal. Also you know, the war?
Roman
~~~~
November 7th
Roman,
Trust me when I say the war will come to an end soon. And screw the laws and my wife. If I just kidnapped you, what would anyone really do?
Janus
~~~~
November 13th
Janus,
For starters I don’t think announcing kidnapping in a letter is the proper way to kidnap someone. Also I would like to point out that in the past years I always wanted to run away and you said no. Then a few months after I drop it you’re getting engaged.
Roman
~~~~
November 18th
Roman,
Virgil said the same thing. You two spent too much time together while you were here. And I’m a married man now. I’ve grown and I’ve changed. And running away sounds better and better.
Janus
~~~~
November 20th,
Logan,
If I said I wanted to elope with Roman to your domain what would you say?
Janus
~~~~
November 23rd
Janus,
You assigned him to be my guard of course we spent time together. Also I’ve been receiving letters from Prince Patton, he truly is a ray of sunshine. He told me that the Queen is doing better and I am elated to hear that. Please pass my well wishes to her.
Roman
~~~~
November 24th
Crown Prince Janus Ekans,
What would I say if you wanted to elope here? Well, I would remind you that you have responsibilities. While I do wish for your happiness do remember that the country lies on your shoulders as well. However if there was such a way that everything was sorted beforehand, then I would still say no.
Count Logan Ackroyd
~~~~
November 28th
Logan,
That’s unnecessarily rude. I will take your response as a positive one.
Janus
~~~~
December 4th
Dearest Husband,
I am apologizing in advance for what I must do. I did not anticipate such a situation, but the Duke has my hands tied. You know I will always do what I believe I must for the good of our nations, and to stop this war. I beg you to keep these thoughts in mind.
Your Wife,
Delphine
~~~~
December 4th
Lord Roman Regis,
I beg you to keep the crown standing tall despite everything. This is not your opportunity.
Delphine
~~~~
December 10th
Janus,
Is it true what everyone’s saying? That the Crown Princess is going to be charged for treason? Was that why she sent me a strange letter?
Roman
~~~~
December 15th
Roman,
She sent you one too? And yes I’m afraid it’s true… but I don’t think that’s how it started. I was aware of the fact she was working with the duke to supply troops using her knowledge of how both armies could work together, I truthfully think he took advantage of her. But her name is on some of the documents which can be read negatively.
I apologize in advance for my lack of responsiveness and attention to you. For now I need to convince Father not to execute Delphine and others in her position. This is all truly at the worst timing, we were in the midst of discussion to end this whole war.
At the very least I’ll see you come the New Years Ball.
Janus
~~~~
December 29th
Roman,
I’m sorry it’s taken me so long, love but I think I have things sorted. At the ball my Father intends to announce the annulment of my marriage- claiming that Delphine unfairly used me. That’s not true of course, but it’s the best way for us to keep her here as a “hostage” and to withdraw our support in this war and try to reclaim a more neutral stance. At least outwardly, things are always more complicated when you look closer.
But with the war coming to a true end, and the end of my marriage, perhaps it’s time I take ‘crown’ out of my title? Patton would certainly be a better face to be out there right now as we try to maintain the rockiest of peaces. And once he takes over maybe I’ll just have to vanish in plain sight. I know a certain count who would take us in without complaint.
We can speak on it more at the banquet, I’ll meet you in the same spot as last year. We can use the same signals.
Janus
~~~~
January 2nd
Janus,
I have spent the past day thinking over the words you told me. I'll admit when I received your most recent letter, I took your words to be akin to wishful thinking. But now after hearing all the plans you made for us, this sounds like something we can really do. My heart beats faster at the thought.
Running away with the Crown Prince, it sounds like a novel doesn’t it? If we were to leave, when would we go?
Roman
~~~~
January 3rd
Roman,
Ideally I’d like to leave as soon as the snow melts, but diplomacy is known to take it’s time.
Janus
~~~~
January 4th
Janus,
I’m ready when you are. Just give me some notice to pack up my things at home and to write a letter that will make my mother sob when she realizes that she can’t marry me off for a reverse dowry. Yes, I know such a thing doesn’t exist, but I’m not sure she does.
Also I spent today with Prince Patton and Virgil and my stance has not changed.
Roman
~~~~
Roman,
Do me a favor and keep your fucking mouth shut? I don’t need Prince Janus interrogating me anymore.
-V
~~~~
January 8th
Janus,
Virgil left a note on my bed last night saying in not so nice words that I ratted him out to you. I take it I was right! You need to speak with your brother then we can be official cupids.
Also I’m leaving today, so make sure your next letter goes to my home.
Roman
~~~~
January 13th
Roman,
I will do no such thing. No one on this planet is good enough for Patton.
Janus
~~~~
January 28th
Logan,
You have till March to prepare our rooms. No, I won’t be telling you my arrival date.
Janus
~~~~
January 30th
Janus,
I don’t know if I ever told you, but I’ve kept every single letter you’ve sent me. The good, the bad, and the pointless ones. I’ve kept them all in a box in my wardrobe and my maids know not to touch them. I think I’ll take the box with me when we run.
Roman
~~~~
February 2nd
Roman,
The Prince is being weirder than usual and is fretting over little stuff and he keeps mumbling your name. Do me a favor and take him off my hands fast.
Also he got very mad at me when he found out we exchanged letters. It’s not like we’ve been doing this since you left or anything. He’s so jealous it’s stupid. Sometimes I like to imagine what would have happened if you had been the one forced into a political marriage- and then I quickly stop because I realize he would order me to go arrest and or kill someone and I legally can’t say no.
Save me.
-Virgil
~~~~
February 3rd
Roman,
I have a box of your letters as well. Even ones you haven’t written but are about you- so even some of Delphine’s have been included. Our story is certainly different from that of other couples, and our letters reflect that. I’ll bring my letters as well, maybe we can organize them all into a large collection.
That was an incredibly sappy thought, and yet I wish to follow through with it all the same.
Janus
~~~~
February 7th
Roman,
I deeply apologize. I saw the play. I know we promised to watch it together, but Patton begged me to go with those eyes and that expression and I couldn’t say no. I will make it up to you. I’ll sit through an opera in the future maybe? I know you like operas even if I don’t.
In good news I plan to send a carriage for you, it should arrive on the fourth of the coming month. It will bring you here to the capital, we can see a horrid opera and then we can be on our way to our future. So you have a full month to pack.
Janus
~~~~
February 12th
Janus,
I can’t believe you watched it without me. It will take more than an opera to make up for this. You can start thinking now on how to make it up to me.
Roman
~~~~
February 19th
Janus,
As the days grow closer my excitement grows more and more. Even now I’m writing this to you rather than sleeping as it truly sinks in that we’re going to do this. I can’t wait.
Roman
~~~~
February 23rd
Roman,
My feelings are the same as yours. This morning I announced to my family my intentions. I didn’t tell them where we’ll be going of course, just that I will be relinquishing the position of Crown Prince and that I will be traveling. Father was enraged, sister was surprised, but Mother and Patton seemed to understand and once the three of us were alone they assured me that they are happy for me. I have a few more people (boring nobles) to tell, but now that they know there’s no going back. So you’re not allowed to have cold feet.
Janus
~~~~
February 27th
Janus,
Please if anyone was to have cold feet it was you. I’ve been willing to run away with you since the day I first laid eyes on the pretty thing you call a face.
Roman
~~~~
March 4
Janus,
The carriage should be here any minute, and I’m writing this letter that I intend to hand deliver to calm myself. My room is packed into bags, and I’ve already said most of my goodbyes. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’m sure time will fly when I’m with you. It always does.
Roman
~~~~
Jan,
Truthfully I wish you didn’t have to leave, but I understand it. So I wish you luck in chasing your love, while you’re gone I’ll make some changes around here so you can lead the life you want when you get back.
Be happy, and don’t forget to write.
Patt
~~~~
March 19th
Patton,
I have arrived safely, and both Logan and Roman are doing well. The former was griping about needing to share his estate with us, but all it took was me bringing up a few embarrassing childhood stories for him to loosen up. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but if you’re ever in the mood to frighten Father, tell him that we’ll need a royal wedding upon my return. I finally got to do the proper proposal I’ve had in my head since the New Year’s before last, and it was perfect.
I wish you luck in dealing with the state of affairs, if you need any help send me a letter discreetly and I can offer some aid.
Best wishes,
Janus
P.S. Fire Virgil if you feel like it. You can do better.
~~~~
A Forbidden Romance Years in the Making!
It’s been years since the ex Crown Princess and now hostage of the kingdom Delphine outed then Lord Roman Regis for loving a married man. Afterwards he was shunned by society and took shelter in the palace after his father begged for his shelter. Generously, the former Crown Prince agreed given he was tied to the scandal. But now we know that was never the whole story. Rather the two have been in a secret romance since their school days.
Now, as if his sudden disappearance was nothing, First Prince Janus Ekans has returned with his betrothed Lord Roman Regis, by his side. Previously talks of Crown Prince Patton signing the new law has been floating for a long while, but it seems the pen will finally be put to paper so a royal wedding may commence.
The couple will wed immediately following the signing of the new law legalizing gay marriage. And it will surely be a wedding to remember.
#jaz's oneshots#Janus Sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#virgil sanders#roceit#love letters#letters#a story in letters#princes
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Dominic Mysterio X Reader
AN: Happy birthday to @mysteriofamily-dommy !! I hope you like it!
Summary: Kaelyn hasn’t seen Dominic since they were Kids, but when he gets drafted to smack down where she is they finally reconnecte. (Fluff and Smut)
———————————————————————
“SMALL FRY!” I heard a Australian voice say as strong arms wrapped around my mid section picking me up.
“BUDDY!” I yelled as he put me down, my arms immediately wrapping him up in a hug. “I can’t believe your back on Smackdown!” I said excitedly. Buddy had helped me with training and we were really good friends, but when he got drafted to RAW last year and he joined Seth Rollins I hadn’t gotten to see him much.
“I know. I’m so happy to be back here, all though I wish I could have left my problems back on Raw.” He mumbled that last part and I sighed. Seth Rollins and the Mysterio family had been drafted as well, witch meant Buddy would have to deal with it all.
“I’m sorry Buddy, but I know you can beat the shit out of Seth. I’ve got to go get ready,but I’ll se you soon.” I said excusing myself. What he didn’t know was that I wasn’t getting ready, not yet anyways. Instead I was going to see one of my only friends I’ve had longer the buddy. Someone I hadn’t seen in years.
Dominic Mysterio.
“Hey Corey! You seen the Mysterios?” I asked as I saw Corey and Michael getting ready to do a check for mics.
“I think they have a personal locker room near the back of the building.” He said looking up from his notes for the show. “Why do you want to know?” He asked. Not in a rude way, but in more of genuine confusion.
“Just want to see an old friend.” I said as I walked towards where Corey had instructed. As I walked down the hall I started to worry. What if Dominic has completely forgotten about me? I didn’t want to bother them.
I stood in front of the door that said Mysterio on it. I lifted my arm to knock on the door but froze. I could chicken out, go get ready and ignore the fact they were here. I started lowering my hand when the door flew open causing me to jump.
“I’m sorry! Are you ok?” I looked forward to see señor Mysterio. Standing there a worried look on his face.
“Oh no I’m sorry! I’m fine thank yo-“
“Kaelyn!” I jumped again as he cut me off. “I’m sorry I keep scaring you! But it’s vary good to see you.” He said a big smile on my face.
“It’s good to see you to! I actually was afraid you guys wouldn’t remember me.” I said chuckling nervously.
“We would never forget you. Come in come in!” He said rushing me in the locker room. “Dominic and Aaliyah aren’t hear right now but I’m sure they will be excited to see you!” He explained as we walked in.
I wasn’t the biggest star, and had never been in a personal locker room before. It was vary similar to how I remember there home being. Neat and inviting. Angie looked up from where she was sitting, and lit up when she saw me.
“Kaelyn! How are you dear!” She asked standin and walking over to me.
“I’m good thank you. How are you?” I asked as she pulled me into a hug.
“Oh I’ve been better! There’s about a million other things I could be doing on Friday but oh well!” She said said pulling back with a big smile. “Dominic and Aaliyah should be here soon, that ran to catering. Oh look at you! All grown up! And wrestling!”
“Angie, give her a moment to breath.” Rey said setting a hand on her shoulder. 
“Oh fine.” She said winking at me causing me to chuckle. “But tell us Kaelyn, how is everything?”
“It’s good. I’ve been on Smakdown a little over a year now. I’m still trying to solidify myself as part of the main roster.” I explained. “How about you? Are you happy to have been moved to smackdown?”
“It would be better if Rollins and Murphy hadn’t been as well, but what are you gonna do.” Rey said shrugging. I stiffened a bit at the mention of buddy.
“Papi we’re back.” I hare as the door was opened. I looked I’ve run shoulder to see Dominic and Aaliyah wall in. I couldn’t help the smile on my face when I saw them, if I was being completely honest with myself I had always had a bit of a crush on Dominic.
“Hi!” I said causing them to look up at me. Aaliyah got a big smile, and Dominic ran up to me, pulling me into a tight hug.
“Kaelyn! I was hoping I’d see you!” He said spinning me around as I was in his arms.
“I’m glad to see you too.” I said as he finally released me. Aaliyah came up giving me a smaller hug after.
“It great to see you.” She said as she pulled away.
“As much as I would love to stay and chat, I do need to get going. I have a match tonight I need to get ready for.” I said waving as I made my way to the door.
“We’ll be cheering you on!” Rey said as I left. I made it about 10 feet down the hall when I heard a door and footsteps running towards me.
“Kaelyn wait up!” Dominic called causing me to stop.
“What’s up?” I asked smiling.
“I want to ask you, um, if you wanted to maybe, go to dinner after the show?” He asked scratching the side of his neck.
“Sure, would it be all over us-“
“Actually, I was thinking, just you and me, if that’s ok with you.” he said bitting his lip nervously. My eyes went wide when I realized what he was asking.
“Dominic, are you asking me out on a date?” I asked brows frowning.
“Depends on what your answer is.”
I smiled and nodded my head. “I would love to go to dinner with you.” I said causing him to smile as well.
“Great! I’ll let you get ready now. Good luck.” He said quickly bending down, kissing my cheek, and running off. My hand moved up to where he kissed, my fingers rubbing over the skin.
“Wow.” I whispered turning around and walking away.
———————————————————————
I sat in the outside of the ring, my hands pulling at my hair a bit. This was my 5th loss in a row. It wasn’t just any match ether, it was a contenders match for the women’s title, and I blew it. Nikki was doing her thing in the ring when the music stoped suddenly and changed.
I recognized it immediately as Seths music. Nikki watched him make his way down the ramp and when he started towards me she jumped out of the ring and ran up towards backstage.
I stared to scoot away from Seth but I was back to back with a wall, I had no where to go.
“Kaelyn, Kaelyn. You have no reason to be afraid. I’m simply here to talk. I know you’ve been having trouble lately, and I want to help. You could join me, and within a few weeks, be the Womens champion. All you have to do is say yes.” He said sticking out his hand to me.
My eyes jumped around us, hoping to see something to help me, but I was in my own. “It’s not that hard of a decision, just say yes.” He said taking another step towards me. I just looked at him. If I said no, I wouldn’t put it above him to attack me himself.
“Kaelyn, just say ye-“ but he was cut of as someone attacked him, causing him to fall over. I looked to see Buddy attacking Seth. I stood up quickly and attempted to get the hell out of there but Seth caught my leg, causing me to fall. I felt something in my leg pop, and a horrible pain rushed through it. 
My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to hold in the tears. “Kaelyn!” I looked up and saw Dominic and Aaliyah running down the ramp. I looked over my shoulder and Seth had Buddy in the ground as he punched him.
Dominic ran up and started hitting Seth, getting a few hits in on Buddy. Once a ref pulled him off Seth he went over to me and picked me up. “Dom, I’ve got it-“
“No. Your ankle is hurt.” He said as he stood up holding me. He turned to see Aaliyah helping Buddy up. “Aaliyah....”
“Don’t!” She said shooting him a look as she loped her arm around Buddy to help him walk. We made our way backstage to the medic, no one saying anything.
When we finally got there Dominic set me down on a couch. He turned towards Buddy glaring at him. “Why did you go out there?”
“Me? How about you? I went out to help my friend.” He said pointing at me, causing Dominic to laugh.
“Ya right. There’s no way she’s your friend, she’s practically a Mysterio.” They both glared at me then looked at me.
“Your friends with him!?” They both asked at the same time.
“Buddy, I’ve know Dominic and the Mysterios since I was about 14. Dominic, Buddy helped train me and we traveled together for a while.” I explained.
“Kaelyn, do you know what he’s done to my family?” Dominic asked.
“That was Seth. I’ve know Buddy longer then this has been going on.” I said shrugging. “And hasn’t he proven he’s sorry. He apologized, forced Seth to apologize to Aaliyah, and he helped me.” I explained.
Dominic sighed, eyeing Buddy. “Murphy, thank you for helping Kaelyn.” He mumbled. Buddy nodded and looked to me.
“If you need anything you know how to get ahold of me.” He said walking away. Aaliyah ran after him, and Dominic started to say something but I set my hand on his arm.
“Leave her be.” I whispered. He smiled down at me and sat next to me.
———————————————————————
“Witch movie?” Dominic asked from where he was standing looking through some dvds. I was on the bed, my ankle propped up on a pillow.
“Ummm, the 6th sense?” I offered and me nodded pulling it out and putting it in. As it got started he climbed into the bed next to me.
“Not really the first date I had in mind.” He sighed his head readying on mine.
“I think it’s perfect.” I said taking his hand. We sat watching the movie, him practically holding me. At some point we shifted and now I was sitting in his lap, our lips locked together. My hands were resting on his shoulders and his wrapped around my hips.
As we made out I could feel him getting hard against me leg causing me to moan quietly. He pulled away looking down at me. “We should stop, your hurt.” He said his lips slightly red from the kiss.
“I have a sprained ankle. I’m fine.” I said shifting slightly against his bulge, causing him to grown, his face falling into my neck. “Please Dom, I want this.” I whispered. He looked up at me and nodded.
After a few moments I was laying in the bed, him over me both of us naked. “Are you ready?” He asked, both of us breathing hard. I nodded and he started to push in, causing my back to arch.
“Dom..” I moaned as he settled all the way in. We sat there, the only sound was our breathing. I pulled his head up so I could kiss him again, and he took that as a sign to move.
At first it was slow thrust but it speed up as we went on. “Dom..” I cried as I started getting closer.
“Kaelyn your so beautiful.” He mumbled kissing at me neck.
“Please Dom, I’m gona cum..” I said as a knote formed in my stomach.
“Do it Kaelyn.” He encouraged causing me to shake and finally cum. Dom thrust a few more times before pulling out and cumming on my stomach.
He collapsed next to me pulling me into his arms. “Kaelyn, I love you..” he whispered, kissing my head.
“I love you too Dom. 
#fanfiction#wwe#wrestling#request#dominick mysterio#rey mysterio#buddy murphy#seth rollins#smut#fluff
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how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that
these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)
how’d u get into writing?
not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!
like, writing fic
around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?
my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!
and being part of the silm community,
soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.
I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.
anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.
it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3
being Known, that stuff?
so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.
really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.
also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?
I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.
basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!
for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!
in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.
sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.
um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!
OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.
I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!
and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.
anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3
#silm#silm fandom#silmarillion#fan culture#tmi anna#(for real this time sjdfhdkfh)#tefain nin#long post#anon#answers
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And we’re back! There’s definitely some themes that come up in this chapter that will be echoed going forward, so I’ll try to point them out and explain my thoughts on those a bit. Other than that, I think this is a two-part chapter, just based on an initial skim, and we’re technically in the second ‘arc’ of the series, according to the BNHA wiki - though I have chosen to shove everything before the USJ into the ‘opening arcs’ tag for ease of tagging, since it’s really all just character / setting introduction before getting into the action.
[No. 5 - Smashing Into Academia]
So we get to see most of the top ten scores - Katsuki in first place with all villain points, and Izuku in seventh with all rescue points. We also see some other familiar names: Kirishima (2nd) with 74 points, Ochako (3rd) with 73, Shiozaki (4th) with 68, Tenya (6th) with 61, Tetsu^4 (8th) with 59, and Tokoyami (9th) with 57. I think we’ll get to see the others later, but for now, I’ll just look them up for ease of confusion: Kendo (5th) with 65 points and Awase (10th) with 56 points. So yeah, talk about your high scores!
This raises a few interesting thoughts:
First off, I know that Horikoshi had initially intended to put Shiozaki in class 1a, but either forgot or ended up deciding she wasn’t suited for it, thus the reason we see her name here but don’t see her until the Sports Festival. Also, I like how he uses the cutoff of the 5th and 10th place in order to fit in more 1b students when he comes up with them - it’s not a trick I would have immediately thought of myself, but it makes sense, and gives a good sense that it’s not just 1a dominating in these sorts of events.
[Discord: its cuz her hair was a pain to draw, which like- mood]
...though that then leads to the question of how certain members of 1a and 1b got in with their quirks. Like, I appreciate all of them, but some of the kids just… yeah, I’m not entirely sure what they could do. I suppose that just makes them particularly clever for getting in, which isn’t a shock when the bar for entry is high.
I… am also surprised Kaminari isn’t higher up there, considering his zappy zappy could take out a whole field of them… though possibly also the people nearby him if he wasn’t careful. I suppose with those scores all in the fifties to seventies, though, even if he took out like thirty or forty points worth, it still would only be enough to get him in, not as a high score.
...speaking of high scores, Ochako only got rescue points from saving Izuku, which is what got her third place overall despite not even hitting thirty villain points. With how high the first ten spots were, and with there only being thirty-six spots overall, there’s a chance she might have missed the cut entirely and have not gotten in if she hadn’t pushed herself to save the person who saved her.
This is a running theme that I’ve noticed about Izuku’s character and narrative effects - he’s not All Might, who makes people feel safe with his presence. He’s not a larger than life figure who stands between villains and the rest of the world. What he is is a plain, unassuming kid who will push himself to breaking in order to save someone, in order to win. And in doing so, we see him in turn inspire others to act, because if this plain, unassuming fanboy can do it, why not them as well? I mean, hell, that’s how he got his quirk!
Recall this? It’s something that we see again and again in the series, something that I think is the core of Izuku’s character development and something he needs to realize in order to really come into himself as a hero and as a person. His greatest strength - that capability to become ‘the strongest hero’ like he desires - isn’t in One For All or in his fighting prowess, but in his ability to inspire others to become better versions of themselves, to push themselves just a bit more, and in so, those ripples end up saving more people and improving the future, one person at a time.
Izuku grew up in a world where his greatest heroes were the Symbol of Peace and (his) Symbol of Victory. While it’s not a title I think he will ever take on in full - I think part of the endgame of the series will be to move on past reliance on a few Symbols to ward off evil and have everyone work together to build up a better world - I do believe he really encompasses the ideals that would make him a Symbol of Hope to Japan and the world. As Hope, he’d give others the belief that they could reach out and be given help, that someone would be there for them if they asked - and, I would like to think, he’d be able to make that world together with his friends and allies, once everything is said and done.
Anyways, I sort of. Got rambling there. Uh. How far are we? One panel? ...ehehehe…
So we get the next two panels, which is the staff discussing Katsuki and Izuku - opposite ends of the spectrum. One got in with only villain points, the other with only rescue points. They note that Katsuki was able to keep going for the whole ten minutes, where most other students were slowing down by halfway through. A true endurance monster. Izuku, on the other hand, is noted to be the first in a while to take out the gimmick, even if others have stood up to it before.
(Also, I love Mic’s ‘kid just makes me wanna go yeah!’ What a mood.)
Hah, they also note that his backlash is like a kid getting a first glimpse of his power, plus how in every other way he looks like a typical failure. However, Mic and… some other staff member (possibly Midnight, I want to say? It makes the most sense) just like Izuku and aren’t so worried about that, while Aizawa chills in the back and thinks they’re all being noisy.
We transitioned to Izuku and Toshinori, 8 pm the night Izuku got the acceptance letter. Izuku is crying as he basically shouts All Might’s name, and Toshinori spits blood and basically has Izuku cover his tracks since, surprise, there are now other human beings here!
Toshinori that can’t be good for your health oh my god.
But yeah, apparently the news that day (or any point that week, probably) is that the beach was cleaned up by some mysterious do-gooder, so now it’s a good place to go on dates again. I know Izuku said no one came by there (chapter 2), but still, it feels weird to think no one noticed anything at all over the entire ten months Izuku and Toshinori (sometimes as All Might!) was there, especially since I think they were at other parts of the beach when Izuku was doing swimming training?
I mean like, what about the people who were illegally dumping their trash there? The people who have to cut through there because it’s a shortcut to get home? The people who get lost and accidentally stumble across it? Random villains trying to use it as a hideout or stash for their loot while hiding from the police / heroes??
Ah whatever, it is what it is. Toshinori congratulates Izuku on passing and gives him a high five.
Fucking hell that’s so cute, I already have it saved as a reaction image I love it so damn much. But yeah, Toshinori hasn’t mentioned his relationship with Izuku to the school (though I know this isn’t true because Nezu and RG know… though that might not have been until after Izuku passed and he knew Izuku was going there.)
Izuku appreciates not having to worry about favoritism, and is excited for Toshinori being a teacher at UA. He asks if that’s why they’re meeting at the beach despite All Might’s office being at a very precise address that Toshinori cuts off. Toshinori then says he couldn’t tell anyone until the school made it public knowledge, and that he’d take the job while looking for his successor.
Izuku remembers that Toshinori mentioned he’d been looking for a while, and that he’d have been looking among the students. Izuku thinks about all their amazing quirks and raw talents, and stares at his hands as he brings up how he broke after a single use of the quirk and that he can’t wield it. Poor boy, no self-worth or realization of how impressive his first use was…
Toshinori points out that of course it’s not an immediate success - if someone suddenly grew a tail, they wouldn’t be able to do tricks off the bat. Izuku asks if Toshinori knew this would happen, and Toshinori says there wasn’t enough time, but everything worked out all right… or, well, All Might.
What a fucking dad, that was a dad joke, I am so done. Someone stop this man.
Anyways, Toshinori bends down to pick up some empty spray-paint cans, which shows that while the beach is clean, there’s still a lot of small junk and broken glass and stuff left to clean up, which I imagine was either something Izuku did during the month and a half between the exams and the beginning of the new school year, or something the community ended up doing once they all were coming there.
He tells Izuku that it’s all for nothing for now, but once Izuku figures out how to regulate it, he’ll be able to put out just what his body can handle - and that the more he temperes his vessel, the better he can control the power. All Might then crunches those cans in one fist, which he’s really lucky they’re empty, or else he’d have gotten paint everywhere. (Would have been hilarious to see, though.)
But yeah, All Might makes the comparison of passing on the Olympic flame, and how the new torch burns weakly at first, but that the trials to come will fan it.
The same couple on the pier notice All Might and ask where he came from, and All Might panics, running off, with Izuku following confused yet dutifully.
God that running pose is fucking hilarious I am cackling.
But yeah, he notes that his own flame will wither and die, with his duty fulfilled. I like how you can just see that couple trying to make their way from the pier to try and catch All Might.
Anyways, a short post, but the next page gets into spring and the beginning of the new school year, so I figure it’s better to cut it off here. Besides, I spent a whole page and a half rambling about characterization and narrative echoes, so shoosh.
#opening arcs#chapter 5#readthrough#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#midoriya izuku#yagi toshinori#bakugou katsuki#technically Katsuki isn't in this#but there's a comparison made between him and Izuku#and his score and tenacity are noted so like#eh#also that fucking dad might#so much food for my little dadmight loving soul in these few pages#i love them#also sorry not sorry for the rambling#it was a good hearty ramble
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Do you think there ever can be a system that is just both to rape victims and to people falsely accused of rape? A person who is raped in any number of ways other than one very specific way is left with no evidence, and nothing to go on but their word versus their rapists. I don't want to live under a justice system that convicts someone based on one persons word. I also don't want to live under a justice system that can't convict most rapists. Do you see these problems as reconcilable?
This is a great question! It’s actually such a great question that I had to think about it for a day or two, and even then I’m not sure I’ve got it right, but that’s why I’m a rando on the internet and not, like, Professor Of Best Possible Legal Systems or some shit.
Anyway, I think there are two ways of dealing with this:
Help victims (of all crimes) in other ways than the criminal justice system, and
Make the criminal justice system less shitty for everyone involved.
Like, I think that the main thing we’re getting from the defund the police movement is that the police do a lot of shit that they are not qualified to do and should not be doing (like helping mentally ill or homeless people). And I don’t think that putting people in jail is the end-all, be-all of helping victims. So I don’t think the goal should be “more convictions,” it should be “help victims with what they need.”
Which, sure, that could include prison time, but it could also be, I don’t know, help with paying medical bills? Therapy? Funds to move if they don’t feel safe in their current living situation? I’m just spitballing here, but I’m pretty sure that a more robust social safety net that’s not contingent on people getting arrested and jailed would help a lot more people. (I also have a Thing about the idea that conviction is necessary to prove the crime actually happened and the idea that conviction is necessary for “closure” but that’s, like, a whole other post.)
But okay, let’s say that in some particular cases, someone going to jail is actually necessary for the purposes of justice and victim/public safety. How do we ensure more dangerous people get convicted?
Well, for one thing, we could require police to actually do their jobs properly. You can’t convict people with no or bad evidence, evidence that is coerced out of people or gotten from unconstitutional raids, or by hiding exculpatory evidence. "Getting off on a technicality” is code for “the state didn’t prove its case beyond a reasonable doubt, despite having a shitload of resources, which means someone didn’t do their fucking jobs.”
The police need to be trained – let’s go with a nice round 4-year degree – on how to gather evidence within the boundaries of the 4th, 5th, and 6th Amendments. None of this “you are the sheepdogs who need to protect the sheep from wolves and that means acting like a wolf sometimes” bullshit: the way you protect people is by gathering evidence of crimes and giving that evidence to the prosecutor. You collect it properly so that it doesn’t get thrown out, and you are diligent about gathering it – you don’t just throw up your hands and go, “Oh, no, we can’t prove it, so it’s not worth investigating!” Your job is to find the proof. You can’t say there’s no proof until after you’ve looked for it.
I will point out that testimonial evidence is evidence. It’s not great evidence – humans are fallible with terrible memories, even if it’s not self-serving or self-edited – but it is still evidence. And there is a fairly difficult problem, which is that trauma fucks with your ability to remember the trauma, which means victims tend to either not be able to provide evidence (because they forgot it), not provide good evidence (everything is out of order and unattached to things like times or dates), or sound like liars (having a flat affect, changing their story, etc.). And you’re right – sometimes there is no physical evidence or anything other than the word of the victim. And that sucks!
So no matter how diligent and trauma-informed and helpful the police and prosecutors are, sometimes there will be false negatives (guilty people being found not guilty) and false positives (innocent people being found guilty). I’ve already addressed how to help with the first one – don’t make someone going to prison the sole goal or way of helping victims – but what about innocent people going to jail?
My personal thought is that any prison experience should not be there to make people suffer. It doesn’t prevent crime, it doesn’t prevent recidivism, and it hurts people who are falsely imprisoned. Imprisonment should be as reversible as possible – both in the sense that you can’t bring people back from the dead, and also in the sense that we should try to minimize traumatizing people in jail. I think it should be rehabilitative if possible, and separate out people who can’t be rehabilitated from the general public.
So, tl;dr: we should improve society somewhat?
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