#anyway this didn't help and i still feel like death lowkey but it was a nice waste of 25 mins | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

love7poetry · 2 months ago

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✮˚. ᵎᵎ I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY 𖦹彡⋆｡˚

⤷ spidey!ellie williams headcanons

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ sophia's letter ! i took a hiatus without meaning to😞 unfortunately this is all i had time for, but it was lowk fun. tbh i think i’ll stick to one shots bc this is basically a few blurbs in one, like this is all over the place idk i don’t like it but i needa post. also, LIAAAM NOOO all payne no liam :((

.ᐟ. . . content warnings. r's race is not specified, characters death, spiders, fighting, unrequited love, r is bi/pan, ellie mistaken for a guy, ellie mistakes r for a straight girl, mental instability, fall from a high building twice, alternative universe, assault attempt, unserious writing style, grammar mistakes probably

{ inspired by @hiiikiko ‘s spider-man!ellie. pls check out their work, it’s so good ! }

do not support naughty dog or zionist neil druckmann

HELP HERE🇵🇸

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie personally i think she's already a peter parker varient, trust me. these goofballs haunted down the killer of their father-figure for christ sake! of course peter had that whole not killing moto but like... oh well!

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie in my mind gets her powers basically the same as in tasm, except she was only in the Anderson Tower (hehe see what i did there) bc one of her professors assigned a thesis on one of their exhibitions. of course she goes the same day you do, the girl she lowkey has a crush on.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is a major LOSER omg. she admires you from afar bc she doesn't have the balls to start a conversation. she doesn't even think you're into girls to begin with so whats the point. leave it to ellie williams to fall for a straight girl smh

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie needs glasses to see or else everything is just a blur. she never takes them off, not even to sleep, yet somehow she doesn't see you until it's too late. now, ellie only ever sees you in class, so in her defense, poor girl wasn't expecting you to just appear in front of her and bump into you. otherwise, she would've turned the other way.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie has an apology problem, at least when she's nervous and boy do you make her nervous with your hair down and pretty face and glossy lips and cute outfits and gosh, she needs to get a grip. you tell her it's fine with a little laugh and ellie feels her face grow warm.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie like canon ellie, is an overthinker, so of course she's thinking abt that awkward interaction. well, it was for her, you didn't even think twice abt it. you're a chill person and it wasn't like ellie shoved you hard. ellie didn't have that kind of strenght... not yet, anyway.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was just too distracted to notice a colorful spider jump on her back, only feeling a sting after stepping foot out of the mutlibillion dollar company tower. you can imagine her disturbed look when she got to her dorm, feeling around her neck until she plucked off a web string with a dead spider still attached on its end. yuck. to make matters worse, ellie started feeling sick. she passed out and didn't wake up until noon of the next day.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was an orphan after her mother passed away when she was nine. she was left under the care of her mother's best friend, marlene, since that was the closest thing to family she had left. to ellie, marlene was family, so she'd called her aunt marlene. i think you can guess where this is going...

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie had promised marlene she would help with a charity event called the fireflies, but with ellie's new... condition, ellie just had too much on her mind. trying to balance college, having a lesbian crush on a straight girl, and finding out you can climb walls is a lot for a nineteen year old. and okay, maybe the first two are universial experiences, but definitely not the third. who is she supposed to talk to abt that?

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was stressing and she never had the best temper when stressed. she had been focusing in creating organic web fluid bc in my au shes not gonna have anything shooting out of her, okay? i mean i still have some questions for tobey's spidey.... moving on! the charity simply slipped out of her mind and when ellie checked her phone after an entire day of testing her new abilities, swinging and even doing a handstand in just her index and middle fingers, she saw abt fifteen missed calls from aunt marlene. ellie decided to stop by to apologies and that’s when all hell broke lose.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie acts like her mother's death doesn't bother her after a decade, but when her name falls out of aunt marlene's lips during her lecture abt ellie's bad puntuality and lack of time managment, it was obvious it's still an open wound.

'you are a lot like your mother, ellie,' marlene spoke. so far ellie was just nodding along to whatever marlene was saying but that sentence really annoyed the hell out of her. 'you truly are, and that's a good thing.' ellie's jaw tightened, but she didn't say anything. 'but she lived believing that if you can do good things for people, you have an obligation to do those things,' marlene pointed a finger at ellie's direction. 'that's what's at stake here. not choice; responsibility.' ellie scoffed. 'that's nice. yea, that’s all well and good. so where's she?' 'what?' marlene stops. 'where is my mom? don't you think it was her responsibility to tell me this herself?' the words coming out of her mouth taste like venom. there's tears threatening to spill, but ellie refuses to let them fall. marlene exhales, shaking her head. 'how dare you?' ellie raises her voice for the first time that night. "how dare i? how dare you!'

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie never got the chance to apologize for snapping at marlene. she knew deep down that marlene was just looking out for her, yet she was too in her head to see it then. ellie had stormed out right after and marlene went out looking for her. and it was the same thief that ellie did nothing to stop as she witness him rob a deli and even handed her a drink which she took without a second thought who killed marlene that night.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie will never forgive herself for that, for not stopping the thief and letting him kill the one person she had left. since then, ellie uses her powers to help others.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie also has a joel in this universe and he's finally being introduced, yippe! im mixing andrew's and tom's peters so i couldn't make him the uncle ben ik y'all thought he was gonna be. he's more like mcu's aunt may and tony. now bare with me pls

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie made herself a suit out of old clothes and a handmade mask. she'd been going around the neighborhood for a few weeks doing small things: returning stolen bikes, bringing cats down from trees, helping senior citizens cross the street, etc. there were no headlines on her yet, but she was growing popular on reddit. it wasn't until one day ellie felt this weird chill down her spine. everything happened so fast, ellie just remembers the after math, the adrenaline rush of catching a 3000 pounds car going at 40 miles with her bare hands to stop it from crashing into a school bus. that was the first time ellie saved a live, multiple at that, and she knew this is what she wanted- no, needed to do.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie had kept a low profile as her alter ego until then. never would she imagine that the video of her stopping a moving vehicle would get in the hands of the joel miller, ceo of miller industries. he's known of the expirements jerry had been doing with all sorts of animals and he didn't like it. joel never thought jerry had it in him to actually modify the human dna, but here he stood with a wall-crawling college student.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie didn't fangirl like mcu peter did when he met tony for the first time (i miss them). in fact she had the opposite reaction. she wasn't a fan of joel just like you and i aren't a fan of elon musk, but she respected him bc he has a flying suit. in this universe, joel was iron man and like tony, he told the entire world. when one of his enemies' killed sarah, he stopped wearing the suit. there's also no avengers bc that's too much writing for me 😇

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie agrees to work with joel only bc he promised to make her a super cool suit with lots of new tech. he said her homemade suit looked like an onesie and the only insult ellie could come up with was that his face looked like an onesie... oh how did joel wished the one to get bit would've been a grown adult smh

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie learns to be more in tune with her new abilities as time goes by. that chill down her spine, yea remember that? obviously we know they're spidey senses, but ellie doesn't know that, not until now. she kinda put two and two together, how she would get the feeling every time something bad was gonna happen. what pissed her off was that she had a you sense too. her stupid enhanced senses told her when you were near, but it only happened with you. like, what the fuck seriously

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is still a loser even after the bite so of course she has yet to talk to you. you now acknowledge her after the incident at the anderson tower, but it's just smiles if you two make eye contact. god, ellie feels so pathetic abt this clearly unrequited crush. until one day she overhears - not that she did it on surpose, it just happens a lot with her enhanced hearing - you talking about her! well... her alter ego, but it's still her.... yea, abt that actually....you and everyone else seem to think she’s a he?????

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is part of the tiny tittie committie as we know, so when she puts on joel's new and upgraded suit, she looks flat chested. she wasn't insecure of her size or anything, but ever since publicly teaming up with joel and gaining more publicity, people have mistaken her for a man, giving her the title of spider-man. it made her bust out laughing tbh

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie started seeing her masked self almost everywhere, especially in classes. that's when she heard you and your friend talk abt her, or well him.

'i need him,' ellie almost choked on air hearing you speak. you were watching a video compilation on tiktok of spider-man saving people with chloe, a friend you made during the beginning of the semester. 'ew, he could be like your dad's age.' chloe laughed. ellie frowned, sitting a few rows back. she is definitely not old enough to be a college student's dad. as a matter of fact, she can't even be a dad so. you smiled at chloe and shrugged. 'that wouldn't matter, because what matters is what's on the inside.' it was clear that you were joking, but as ellie looked up to where you were sitting she wondered how you would react if you found out it was a girl you were talking about. would it matter? would you still like her then? or would you be disappointed?

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie tries to get over this crush by focusing on spider-boy, or wtv his name is. ever since becoming the city's hero, it's like everything has been dial up to eleven. crime fighting is far more intense but ellie likes the challenges. she's gotten a little cocky too, always joking and teasing the criminals she fights. her suit has a voice changer and she has a blast using it.

'my grandma punches better than you,' she'd fake a yawn while grabbing the fist of one of the robbers when he tried to throw a punch. then she'd turn to the other who is already webbed up, 'actually, i never met my grandma.' then she'd punch the first guy just hard enough to kick him out cold. ‘but i bet her punches are still better.’

another instance is when she stopped a pretty big drug deal. about five men were going over what the plan was for the day, none noticed when ellie sneaked in until what seemed to be the leader grunted, 'you guys know what to do, now stay out of my ass.' ellie sighed loudly, 'it's hard to miss it.'

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is just having the time of her life with this new identity that it becomes addicting, it's like her copying mechanism fr. joel starts noticing that ellie has become sloppy and tries to warn her, and although ellie promises she'll do better, she doesn't. she's saving lives, jesus christ. can’t a girl have fun?

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie learns the hard way that not everyone is a fan, especially not the police. and okay yea that humbled her alr. it also annoys her bc she's doing half their job so you'd think they'd be more appreciative but no they named her a criminal and put out a reward for whoever can discover the vigilante's identity. now she has to put in double the work bc everyone she fights tries to pin her down to take off her mask. ellie really dislikes your mother for that, the police captian of the boston police department - bc im messy hehehe. you're like in love with spider-man tho, and are quite vocal abt it too

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie loves to hear you fangirl over her. like okay you're unaware of a lot of minor details - like the fact that it's actually spider-woman - but that’s okay, it's fineeee! baby steps right? well ellie takes a huge big girl step one night when she saves you from a gross man trying to assault you.

her spidey senses were going off, and she let them take her to a dark alley. she heard the voice of a girl struggling to push someone off as she crawled on the wall. ellie froze when she realized it was you, her heart beat picking up. this is the first time someone she knows is in trouble, and it made her feel uneasy. 'buddy, is this anyway to treat a lady?' ellie jumped down, voice changer on, making both you and the sick drunk to look over at her. 'i don't think so,' she grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him to the ground, off of you. 'go.' she spoke, a little desperate to get you out of here. you stood in shock until you looked up at your savior and then booked it out of there. you run further into the alley until you made it to the other end, turning back behind you once you’re under a lamppost. you frowned when you couldn't see anyone. where did they go? ellie held onto a web while she came down upside down. feeling movement, you turned and came face to face with masked eyes looking back at you. 'you saved me.' it was her job, of course she would save you, but no words came out. all ellie did was nod. there was a moment of silence as you two stared at each other, both out of breath. you from prior events, and ellie because she's never been this close to you. you slowly brought your hands up to ellie's neck where the mask began. ellie quickly grabbed one of your wrists to stop you, but you reassured her. 'i won't take it off,' you whispered. ellie let go of your hand and felt you pull her mask up to her nose so only half of her face showed. you held onto the sides of her face as you lean in to kiss her lips. ellie knew it was wrong, that in a way she was abusing her power. but when your lips connected with hers, all she could think about was how soft you felt. there was no way she would get over you now.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie swang you home that night and ever since she visits you almost everyday, im talking five days out of the week. girl has it BAD after that kiss #freemygirl frfr😞 the visits start innocent and it wasn't like ellie was expecting anything, but somehow you two end up making out and who is ellie to stop it ok? she is just a girl. i mean she does feel bad at the beginning bc you STILL believe she's a male - in your defense, ellie still keeps her mask half way on even in a make out session as well the voice changer. you understand that "he" just wants to keep "his" identity a secret, especially after your mom's manhunt, so you don't question it. and that makes ellie feel even worse.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was planning on telling you, i swear, but then joel found out ellie was seeing a girl and he warn her not to tell you anything. she was abt to cuss him out until he told her she was alr putting you in danger by being associated with a crime fighting hero, you knowing who is under the mask would just make you a bigger target. not to mention your own mother still hates her guts, and is putting you in multiple uncomfortable situations.

'can i at least tell her i'm a girl?' ellie questioned, already fed up by this conversation. she rubbed the bridge of her nose before looking up at joel, who she had grown to look up to as a mentor. although they still bicker. joel sighed, 'we talked about this, kiddo. if people keep thinking there's a spider-man, the changes of finding out your identity are low.' 'she won't tell anyone.' ellie trusts you. in the time that you've been together, you haven't told any of your friends that you're up in your room with none other than boston's masked vigilante. you kept this part of your life like an oath, and ellie appreciates you for it. however, joel doesn't know you like she does. 'have you forgotten who her mother is? this could be a set up, and you're falling for it.' ellie shakes her head. 'she's not like that.' 'look, if it had been any other girl, i would've said go for it. but she's the daughter of the woman who wants to turn you in, dead or alive.' ellie looks away from joel, but he continues. 'we gotta be smart about this.' ellie sighs, nodding. 'okay.'

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie wants to go up to you in person as herself whenever she sees you in class, but knows she can't. like what do you mean her tongue was exploring your mouth just the night before but now you two are back to strangers????? it's driving her crazyyy and she feels so stupid and so guilty. it doesn't matter how many people she saves, ellie feels like she's going to hell for doing this to you. yet she can’t stop, not now, she’s addicted to your taste and when she sees you as her masked self later that day, she smacks her lips against yours for all the times she felt the argue to kiss you as ellie but couldn't.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is still bitter towards joel for not letting her confess her secret to you but they've grown close and he is helping her find out why jerry anderson would create radioactive spiders. they don't find much until the top of the anderson tower bursts into flames. boston for sure thought they were going to be the next 9/11 but thanfully ellie got everyone out safetly. it was afterwork hours so not a lot of people were there, but when ellie went back to make sure she didn't miss anyone, a sinister laugh echoed. ellie's body went cold and her spidey senses were going crazy. if you couldn't tell jerry is the green goblin in this au but i still picture willem dafoe bc he's just TEW good as the green goblin so im recasting him as jerry 😁

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie definitely has a whole panic attack after being thrown against multiple walls by this not so kind dr anderson. she was just so overstimulated and physically hurt that it was all too much at once. this is ellie's first big villian and the old man can punch alr

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie has friends - dina and jessy ofc, but they’re unaware of her double life. ik i said she's a loser and i haven't mention them, but in my au her and abby were childhood friends until abby was sent to boarding school. they're literally peter and harry, you get me? so like norman, jerry was also neglectful and wouldn't pay attention to abby's friends, especially ones from so long ago, but ellie remembers him - also bc who wouldn't know the jerry anderson - and she knows that whatever she fought that night wasn't jerry, not entirely. he had this crazy look in his eyes and creepy smile, flying around in a hoverboard, accusing her of stealing his powers. yikes, awkward...

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie continues to fight him for some time, trying to figure out what the hell happened to him and how to help him. along with discoverying about anderson's sickness, ellie also finds out her mom used to work with jerry and she's the one who created the formula to cross-species genetics. yup, that really sent her spiraling - also im so uncreative and unoriginal im stealing from tasm bc ellie's mom also sabotaged the formula and added her dna into the equation, which is why ellie got her powers while jerry went nuts. okay he also gained some abilities but at what cost?

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie goes to your place after finding all of this shit out without telling you any of it, but just being near you helps her calm down. at this point, she knows so much abt you and you so little abt her, but you don't seem to mind. you tell her that you've been fighting a lot with your mom recently, and ellie listens. it's nice to talk abt other things to get her mind off of wtv is happening in her messed up life. you ask her if her parents know what she does, and for some reason, ellie opens up. she tells you the few memories she has of her mother, something she's never done with anyone apart from marlene but even then those moments were rare, more so now that's she gone too.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is letting her guard down around you more and more, that she doesn't realize she's being followed. in her mind, your apartment is a safe place so why would she need to be on alert? well ima tell you why: her spidey senses woke her up in the middle of the night, but she dismisses them since she's been anxious for the past few days. it isn’t until later when she goes to class, the one with you in it, that her senses go off again, stonger this time after not seeing you enter through the doors at all. you've been late before, but never absent since attendance is mandatory in this class. she rushes to your apartment after class thinking maybe you're sick - which she knows isn't the case bc she saw you last night and you were perfectly fine. when she gets there, there's a green note sitting eerly on your bed waiting for her. 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, SPIDER-GIRL'

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie feels like she's going to throw up. jerry knows and he has you. ellie spends all day trying to locate you with joel's help. they were able to track jerry's/green goblin's last location to be in an abandoned clock tower on the outskirts of boston. without wasting anymore time, ellie rushes there.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie gets to the clock tower as the last bits of sunlight set in the horizon. she climbs up and peaks through one of the broken windows. there, she sees you tied up to a pull with your arms above you kinda like mary jane in the spider-man 2. ellie couldn't see jerry anywhere but her focus was to get your out of here so very quietly she went in. you tried to warn her but by the time she removed the ropes on your wrists, a little pumpkin bomb landed next to her, exploding and making both you fall. i won't write the entire scene but i'll tease something - fyi when i say clock tower, think tasm2 gwen's death scene

jerry - or the green goblin - held you in his arms as his board hovered over ellie. he grabbed your jaw harshly, forcing you to keep your teary eyes on ellie. her gaze remained low after taken off her mask. she was following the goblin's instructions, too terrified of something happening to you. yet, she couldn't bring herself to meet the look of betrayal in your eyes. 'no, that can't be,' goblin mocked, and ellie never wanted to punch someone as much as she does right now. 'where is spider-man? i could've sworn there was a man under the mask. i thought so, did you, pretty face?' his neck turned to look at you, question ringing with faux surprise. ellie clenched her fists, finally looking up at the goblin. 'you got what you wanted, now let her go!' goblin broke into a crazy smile. 'i want you dead, spidey! i need your blood!' 'you have me. just, let her go and we can talk about this.' ellie took a few careful steps forward. the goblin chuckled before nodding, 'okay.' then he pushed you off his board. 'no!' ellie tried to jump after you, but the goblin took a hold of her and threw her against a wall across the platform she was standing.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie starts seeing joel as a father figure that night after he shows up in the suit. nobody had seen joel as iron man in years, but he couldn't let the girl he had grown to care for as a daughter fight alone. he got you to the ground safely before going back to help ellie fight the goblin. unfortunately he managed to escape but they were able to get a sample of his blood to start working on a cure.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie puts her mask back on before going up to you. she's holding onto her side, for sure with a few broken ribs that will heal in a week thanks to her fast self healing, and a limp on her walk. you're still shaken up from everything, from being kidnap and finding spidey's identity. you look at her with this unreadable expression and ellie starts trying to explain herself. joel flies down, interrupting the conversation to tell you it was his idea not to tell you anything, but before you can speak, sirens are heard outside the tower.

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie watches as you run to your mom, hugging her as she asks you if you're hurt. ellie stands to the side doing that thing where her foot fidgets with the dirt and she starts playing with her hands, lowk feeling lonely. that’s when joel will come in with a hand on her shoulder, telling her she did good and that almost makes her break down. dw guys, i promise they won’t end up like mcu peter & tony or game ellie & joel🥹

✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie doesn't see you in class after that, not for a week. she also doesn't go to your place to respect the fact that you most definitely need space. you're kinda mad at ellie, but you're feelings are still there. if only she had been honest from the beginning. obviously you recognized her from class, so after a week you go up to her. annndddd this is where im ending this bc i have an exam to study for but yea yea you end up forgiving her and all that lovey-dovey stuff, hope y’all liked this chaotic headcanon

˚ ༘ 🦕𖦹⋆｡˚

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fantastic-nonsense · 9 months ago

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I love your thoughtful SoC meta! I would love to know your thoughts on Kaz and Jesper’s relationship. Specifically, I adore Kaz but one thing in particular that always seemed so dark to me was that he enabled Jesper’s gambling addiction even though he obviously does care about him. Kaz is obviously willing to do a lot of fucked up things in service of his goals, but this one in particular, toward his own brother figure, I find sad. It’s kind of addressed during their fight at the end of CK but still feels a little unfinished.

I love Kaz and Jesper's relationship. There's sooooo much to dig into there (way too much for a single meta); it's super juicy and complicated, and one of the best complexities of it is that they often enable and feed off of each other's trauma. The pre-canon status quo is a situation where Kaz and Jesper are, in many ways, using and abusing each other as a way of avoiding dealing with their own trauma. It's a fascinating push-and-pull dynamic because neither of them are pushovers and yet neither one is particularly interested in facing their Issues™ head-on, and they both seemingly recognize that in each other and give each other an uncharacteristic amount of grace in helping the other avoid dealing with it.

In Kaz's case, that most often looks like enabling Jesper's gambling addiction and then repeatedly bailing him out of trouble under the justification of "he's loyal and competent, it would be wasteful to let the other gangs kill him." In Jesper's case, this looks like ignoring Kaz's countless and extremely obvious issues in favor of playing the loyal second. Basically, it's not just Kaz enabling Jesper's gambling addiction; it's also Jesper enabling Kaz's unhinged ruthlessness with little pushback other than a few snarky comments.

They also project a lot of their own issues onto each other! Kaz pushes Jesper away in part because he's projecting the grief and blame he feels over Jordie's death onto Jesper, but Jesper is using Kaz's ruthless pragmatism to escape the crippling disappointment of returning home to face his father's judgement for being a college drop-out, gambling addict, and gang member. And Kaz withholds praise and verbal declarations of trust from Jesper because he hates acknowledging that he cares about people, but Jesper uses Kaz's emotional detachment as a crutch to avoid dealing with his own commitment issues by pining after a boy he knows will never reciprocate his advances. This status quo is, of course, insanely unhealthy for both boys long-term, but where would we be if any of the Crows actually dealt with their issues in a healthy way?

That dynamic, imo, is also only possible because Kaz and Jesper have known each other for longer than anyone else in the main crew; Kaz may have let Inej in further, but he let Jesper in first. As far as we know, Jesper is the first person Kaz genuinely lets past his mile-high walls since Jordie died...but he very deliberately holds him at arms' length in a way that he does not with Inej (something that Jesper notices and is jealous about!). Being "the first" in this case unfortunately comes with a lot of baggage, and Kaz and Jesper would both lowkey rather die than talk about how much they care what the other thinks of them.

Kaz clearly didn't recruit Jesper looking for a friend or someone who reminded him of his dead older brother; he recruited him because he saw someone with a useful skillset who he preferred to be at his side rather than in a rival gang or dead in the canals. It's to Jesper's credit that he managed to break through those walls anyway, but there's only so much he can do in the face of Kaz's armor. And like Inej, Kaz's closed-off personality and actions hurt Jesper repeatedly. But he stays anyway, because he (like Inej) sees the boy underneath the mask that Kaz wears and cares a little too much to let him go:

“He wouldn’t—” Jesper stopped short, and then he laughed. “Of course he would.” Jesper flexed his knuckles, concentrated on the lines of his palms. “Kaz is…I don’t know, he’s like nobody else I’ve ever known. He surprises me.” “Yes. Like a hive of bees in your dresser drawer.” Jesper barked a laugh. “Just like that.” “So what are we doing here?” Jesper turned back to the sea, feeling his cheeks heat. “Hoping for honey, I guess. And praying not to get stung.” Inej bumped her shoulder against his. “Then at least we’re both the same kind of stupid.” “I don’t know what your excuse is, Wraith. I’m the one who can never walk away from a bad hand.” She looped her arm in his. “That makes you a rotten gambler, Jesper. But an excellent friend.” “You’re too good for him, you know.” “I know. So are you." -Ch. 17, Six of Crows

Kaz is unused to verbalizing the trust he places in others and actively in denial about how much he cares about them until Crooked Kingdom; he spends his time deliberately being cruel and pushing people away even as he proves over and over again that he doesn't actually want them to leave him. This casual assholery hits those closest to him (Inej and Jesper) the hardest because they are clearly trusted with his life but not with his heart, and that hurts them both.

For Inej, resolving that behavior looks like giving him an ultimatum ("I will have you without armor or I will not have you at all") and telling herself to walk away unless he meets her challenge. For Jesper? That looks like duking it out on top of the Geldrenner when they're both at rock bottom, because of course that's the only way either one of those boys is ever going to verbalize the tension that underlies their relationship. There's just a lot of baggage and mutual toxicity and unsaid words that neither of them are very interested in dealing with until everything comes to a head during the Clocktower fight.

I think we also forget that the Kaz-Jesper dynamic we see in the majority of the duology is not their normal dynamic: it's how they interact when Kaz is mad at Jesper. And a mad Kaz is, within the scope of canon, a pretty cruel Kaz, which is something that I think a good portion of the fandom likes to handwave away in favor of pointing towards Kaz's active attempts to be better in the back half of the duology.

Ultimately we only see the "normal" Kaz-Jesper dynamic for the first 12 or so chapters of Six of Crows (when the Dock Fight/Eyeball Incident happens) and the last few chapters of Crooked Kingdom. Those chapters are a really interesting look into what that relationship looks like when they're on good terms. It's clear that they're good friends, trust each other a hell of a lot, and joke around with each other quite a bit (the "saves ammo" joke in the parley chapter, their interactions during the Hellgate breakout, the "man with a knife!" "man with a gun!" exchange immediately after Kaz throws Oomen overboard, etc), but we also see the stress points: Jesper getting mad at Kaz for not telling him about Big Bolliger's betrayal, Kaz sending Wylan with Jesper during the prep chapters to keep an eye on him, and Jesper's bee and honey conversation with Inej on the Ferolind, for example.

These stress points are what fracture and crack in the aftermath of Jesper accidentally alerting the other gangs that they were headed out on the Ice Court Job and nearly causing Inej's death, and further buckle under the stress and pressure that Kaz and Jesper deal with during the following month and a half: the Ice Court job, Van Eck kidnapping Inej on Vellgeluk, Colm showing up in Ketterdam, and the Sugar Silo/Auction scheme.

In this way, I think Kaz enabling Jesper's gambling addiction is less about Kaz being actively cruel towards someone he sees the ghost of his brother in and punishing Jesper for the sins he percieves Jordie to have made (which is also true, and a meta for a different time!) and more about the weird balance of toxic mutual leniency Kaz and Jesper have allowed the other to provide for them for over two years...and how that leniency breaks down once it's not just Kaz's life or time on the line when Jesper fucks up.

Put more succinctly: for a long time, Kaz and Jesper existed in a toxic balance of enabling each others' worst impulses and behaviors, which was only able to be verbally addressed when they were both at rock bottom, desperate, and seemingly had very little left to lose. This conflict is somewhat addressed and resolved in the conversation where Kaz refuses to give Jesper the last of the parem and offers up a tiny bit of information about Jordie—showcasing his own growth and how he's finally trying to break the cycle by refusing to enable Jesper's self-destructive tendencies—but that level of tension is unable to be properly resolved in one single blowout argument. And I think it's deliberately left a bit unfinished because neither of them are really in a place where they're ready to address everything they've left unsaid for so long, even in the epilogue chapters.

However, we do see the beginnings of that reconcilitaion (Kaz asking Inej to tell Jesper that he's "missed around the Slat") and the story ends on a hopeful note regarding Kaz's commitment to removing his armor, which implies a lot about the resolution of that dangling thread. And of course, we know that by Rule of Wolves they're back to being thick as thieves and fucking around as usual, so clearly they hashed it out at some point in the in-between (and personally? I don't think it took either of them very long after the CK epilogue chapters to do that hashing out).

tl;dr: I love it when two traumatized and emotionally constipated teenage boys use each other to avoid facing their own personal problems and then get into a fistfight to avoid talking about how much they care about each other. Top-tier dynamic. Chef's kiss. I could talk about them for hours.

#also thank you so much for the ask and kind words #I hope this meta did your question justice and makes up for the fact that I didn't answer it for so long #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc meta #asks #long post #(very long post; rip and sorry for not using a read more but it didn't quite fit anywhere)#queue

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eluxcastar · 2 years ago

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hello hello greetings! could i request a vampire reader x harbingers who offers to turn them into a vampire as well (how romantic to offer the concept of *forever* to their lover), its got the whole package of night vision/ immortality/ super strength/ speed/ etc etc but they'd lose the ability to use visions/delusions cause they're technically gonna be "dead" would the harbingers except or decline 👀�� (excluding pulcinella and pierro)

Harbingers with a Vampire s/o

── ୨୧：harbingers x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: just me being absolutely off my head again talking about the harbingers' opinions on vampirehood

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, vampire reader

୨୧﹑words :: I shit you not this post is 666 words long what in the My Immortal

anon baby you found my weak spot I'm so normal about this subject (it's my special interest) (sorry) ANYWAY this has been chilling in my inbox for ages, so it's time I finally write it. I started it a while ago but then I got busy and didn't post for a month and now I am suddenly two followers away from 400 so hi hello thank you

anyway back to the request I question the visions and delusions part because Qiqi is a Zombie an uses a cryo vision BUT I'M GONNA GLOSS OVER THAT BECAUSE YEs

Let's go lowest to highest in ranking like I usually do and start with Childe who, imo, would accept on the grounds that it is power and he will take anything to become more powerful even at a detriment to his health and physical condition. Though there is a price, he has accepted prices before and assuming that the pay off is good enough the use of a vision or delusion would be obsolete anyway. That, coupled with his love for you as his motivation is more than enough to sway him in your favour as he can see more to gain than lose from spending eternity by your side.

Arlecchino is a tough one because I can totally see it and it's really hot but Idk if she would. I wanna say yes, but I can also see reasons for no. The Vampire Arlecchino energy wins though because tbh I can see her being willing to make that sacrifice for her lover. I don't see her as fully whipped per se but like she's definitely loyal yk, probably pick you over the Tsaritsa and would want to spend an eternity with you at your behest.

Next is Pantalone. Cool vampire vibes. Someone gave me this wonderful headcanon that he is obsessed with his delusion, and I now love it to death so much that I based a character on it. So tbh yeah, there's benefits in this for him. He gets to be with you and have a little more power at a far lesser detriment. Plus like, you can't convince me this man wouldn't be lowkey into it.

Signora, I'm not sure. She has already lived a long time, and she has a lot of natural power already. Her delusion is what balances her, so I honestly think I'd have to say no. I WANNA SAY YES REALLY BAD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THERE'S OPPORTUNITY THERE, but I also just don't think so, but like she'll still be with you for a long time.

Sandrone, I honestly don't know either, because I don't know much from the two words she's spoken. If I remember, she doesn't care for other people, though, so she's likely very in love with anyone who managed to break through that and may be willing to make sacrifices for you.

For Scaramouche- well, bro is an artificial human, so tbh, I don't even think he would be affected by that. I'll skip him too.

Next would be Pulcinella, but I was told no Pulcinella, so Capitano (I almost forgot him send help). I like the abyssal creature Capitano headcanon, but even if he was just, a guy. I think the answer is no. HE'S WHIPPED AND WOULD DO ANYTHING BUT NOT THIS 😭 at least not at first, but give it a while and I can see it. It'll take time, though.

Columbina is also tricky because she has such entity vibes, but like also, seraph/vampire pairing would be so hot I can't even deny that. I should write that. Anyway, I feel like she's already immortal, so that doesn't matter, and she is indifferent to the power you offer. It's a matter of it not holding value. She has everything she could get out of it already.

Finally, we come to Dottore. Dottore is into it, don't lie, you know he is; this man is freaky. He'd enjoy the prospect of being a Vampire more than the perks of it, and that's enough to convince him. Besides it's 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓼𝓬𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 so he gets to excuse it. He couldn't turn it down even if it was just one of his segments because he's got to know what it's like and all the differences. He collects knowledge.

This was way more chaotic than usual 💀 Idk if I will write more like this but I did enjoy it so maybe, depends if y'all like this or my other styles more. I just like the chilled out casual chaos sometimes so lmk

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stargleam-star · 2 months ago

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My thoughts on Star, and A Starless Clan as a whole:

Spoilers ahead for A Starless clan amd a bit of Ivypool's Heart if it wasn't obvious. Time for me to go on a rant! It's gonna feature me mostly gushing about Frostpaw because she's the only character with enough substance to talk in length about. But I've got other things to talk about too I guess. Lets get into it:

As usual, Frostpaw was the best character of the book and honestly the most relatable. She kept Going Through It until basically the very end and I felt so bad for her.

What I am glad about though is that she got the killing blow on Splashtail! Fuck yeah that's my baby girl <3

But he did get a hit in on her before the end and left her basically comatose which was tragic. Reading Frostpaw drift in and out of consciousness and what she saw while knocked out was really cool tho. I especially liked that she got to have deeper conversations with Curlfeather. She wanted so desperately for her mother to admit fault, to show some remose for her actions. Instead Curlfeather kept focusing on how Splashtail ruined her plans, and how he's to blame. All she wanted to do was protect Frostpaw and Riverclan. There wasn't the slightest bit of remorse at all. It was so tragic reading Frostpaw wishing her mother would hold herself accountable. It really hit home with me. In the end, Curlfeather couldn't face the truth and left Frostpaw behind to conclude her mother wasn't a good person and learn to accept that so she could move on. Heartwrenching stuff imo

I got really sad when Frostpaw started taking a turn for the worse and finally got to see Starclan. She got to meet her dad and was so happy, he made her realize that she needs to focus on herself and her happiness instead of worrying about everyone else's needs. Nobody understands how fucking Relatable that is to me. Nobody come near me rn.

Frostpaw wanted so badly to finally give up and be at peace. She wanted to be happy and relax, and to help in other ways. As much as that would have crushed me for her arc to conclude with her death, it really did feel like a good end for her. She would have done so well as a Starclan messenger. She deserves the rest. Sadly the narrative didn't want that to be the end of her, so she got to come back. Hooray /s

I like the medicine cat name she was given! Frostdawn is pretty (although I am lowkey disappointed she wasn't named Frostfeather, and that's not because I wanted her sharing a name with Curlfeather. I've got an oc named Frostfeather and it would have been amazing for a canon POV character to have that name too. Alas).

I'm also going crazy over the fact that her and Whistlepaw (now Whistlebreeze) got named together. I love these two lesbians so much its insane. The speech Frostpaw gave Whistlebreeze about being a good medicine cat and how grateful she was to have been saved by her? I'm planning their wedding as we speak

Frostdawn ended up choosing Icewing as Riverclan's leader, which was the obvious choice from the start imo. Also very predictable but what do I expect from a series written for 6th graders? I'm still salty as hell we got to see her leader ceremony but never Squirrelstar's.

I find it weird that Icewing was against Frostpaw in the beginning of Wind but then came around to "omg you were right" because Splashtail got mean. It was kind ooc for her, but then again she stopped having a bigger role during that book up until the end of Star.

Why tf was Icewing's voice the loudest that Frostpaw heard when cats started singing to bring her back to life? Also how tf were regular warriors able to sing to reach Frostpaw's spirit? I get that Tree was with them, and Icewing had spent a few days with The Sisters in Ivypool's super edition, but it doesn't explain how they were able to get that power. Also it was "all the she-cats that love [Frostpaw]" which included cats such as Duskfur and Mothwing who'd been mean to her throughout a good chunk of the arc... ok. Anyways.

All of A Starless Clan should have been soley in Frostdawn's point of view. Nightheart and Sunbeam barely brought anything to the table

Might as well talk about them. I like how Nightheart's character arc finished. He wasn't a jerk by the end and started being more respectful. His POV felt pointless most of the time, but I liked getting a glimpse of the inside of Riverclan during the height of Splashtail's reign (more on that soon)

Sunbeam's POV was completely unnecessary. While I liked that we got deeper thoughts on Berryheart as a result of Sunbeam, I don't think we really needed it for the story. I don't even think the way things wrapped up between them was good.

I'm gonna talk about Berryheart now because she's more interesting. I've come to the conclusion that the Erins dropped the ball with her as a villan. By the end, she was nothing more than a traitor in every single way. She was untrustworthy and I cheered when she died. She should have died 3 books ago if she wasn't gonna do anything worthwhile. No her trying to get Shadowclan on her side to let her be leader in the end qhike trying to convice them to rise up against Riverclan was not good. It was stupid as hell, almost as stupid as her joining Riverclan and becoming its deputy

I'm gonna talk about Splashtail but there's not a lot to say that I haven't already (but I will repeat myself). It felt like the Erins were trying to remake Tigerclawstar and his villan arc with Splashtail. Think about it. Ambitious, broad shouldered, dark brown tabby tom, who conspired with cats from another clan to kill their leader in order to gain power for themself? Check. A merger of Shadowclan and Riverclan? Check. Evil cat wanting to rule all the clans? Check. A deputy slain for having a different opinion? Check that off too.

As stated before the only differences between Tigerclawstar and Splashtail was that Splashtail was a lazy coward, Tigerstar actually belived in Starclan and its strength, and Splashtail had none of the charm or support that Tigerclawstar had. Also Splashtail had to resort to threatening the life of kits to get cats to do what he wanted, while Tigerclan followed Tigerclawstar's rule because he was formidable and had cats in it who truly believed in him and his vision for the future

Splashtail was written to be so cartoonishly evil and it was a sad thing to read. I'm glad Frostpaw got to kill him, and I loved how he was tormented until the end by Curlfeather's demon spirit.

I didn't like how they implied Splashtail might be the way he was due to mental illness though. I'm probably gonna get hate for saying that, lol. But in the last book they wrote him to seem like s psychopath, as well as implied him to be schizophrenic because he was talking to someone that wasn't visible (even though he was actually seeing a real dead person. But nobody but Splashtail and the audience got to know that). They literally called him crazy throughout the last book, the entire time. And idk it just felt like they were villifying mental illness a bit as a result. Again I'm probably reading into it too much, don't come at me please

The leaders were not as impactful in Star as I'd hoped. But at least they acted and fought together in the end. I loved that the leaders actually participated in the battles to liberated Riverclan instead of only sending warriors to do it. I love seeing leaders fighting for the good of their clan and putting their lives on the line (that's what their 9 lives are for. Looking at you Brambleclaw)

I didn't like that sone of Riverclan's cats were trying to join Thunderclan near the end of Star and I liked how Squirrelstar acknowledged that they had too many warriors as itwas, and how they had to expand the warrior's den in the past because of it. Wish the Erins would do something about all those cats

99% of Thunderclan was not mentioned at all this book, including the elders + Brambleclaw from what I read (I might've skimmed iver smth tho idk) but there was mention of cats like Myrtlebloom and fucking Eagletail for sone reason (is that their name? I can't remember). Tell me why any of these cats are alive if they're not worth mentioning while we have a camp scene? At least I got to see my girl Daisy <3

A Starless Clan had so much potential and the writing and mystery in the beginning were really good. I just wish they'd kept it up throughout.

Star felt like a flat finish and while I liked the way Frostpaw's chapters concluded and the whole main plot of Riverclan without a leader, I hate that the book ended on a Nightheart chapter and that the last like was about how he "could be brave and loyal no matter what his name was." Like that was a really dumb final chapter of the arc, a genuinely novice choice. It ruined the arc conclusion for me. Frostdawn's chapter should have been last

OverallI I will give Star a 3/10, and A Starless Clan 5/10 stars. It could have been great. But then, it wouldn't be Warriors would it?

#warrior cats #a starless clan spoilers #asc spoilers #star spoilers #Ivypool's heart spoilers #a Starless clan

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readingwiththestars · 7 months ago

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₊˚⊹♡ IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

["whatever our souls are made of hers and mine are the same"]

| ✮ 3.5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers for ihhbwm + some spoliers for ioihth]

ok so lemme tell you i had the BIGGEST reading slump ever just as i started to read this. so this review may be a little choppy at some points because i've just pointblank forgotten some parts and don't wanna go back and re-read finny's pov just yet.

i was so on the fence about reading this because on one hand i really wanted to read finny's pov and on the other, complete and utter heartbreak.... yeah....... so anyway i read it.

when i tell you that this book had me ugly crying in the middle of the night. like seriously finny's pov?? fucking broke me. are you kidding me? the way he speaks about autumn? ugh when am i gonna find a guy like finny fr? but seriously this book had me on a rollercoaster of emotions just from the heartbreak knowing whats already gonna happen to finny as he describes how happy he is and how he can't believe autumn loves him back, to the smile i had on my face reading about 'the moms' bickering over baby stuff for autumn.

i will say this now i did expect a little more (hence the rating). i wanted idk more closure at the end there. idk rlly know how to describe it better since its 10 o'clock at night and ive had zero sleep for the past four nights in a row. but yeah i wanted something more. (bitch u wanted finny to be alive)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

finny -

*sobbing noises* i could go on a damn rant abt this boy. holy shit. he's just perfect. if i see one person ONE PERSON coming after him istg- he was such a caring sweet person like the pencil??? and always going to the sketchy gas station (i nearly called it a servo then lmao) to get the candy autumn likes?? and always making sure people were safe when he drives?? *cough* apparently not you though sylvie *cough* just ahhh laura when i get you. cause like why'd you have to make him get out of the car, hmmm? lets just compromise and you give me an alternate universe where finny misses the puddle or better yet where sylvie kept her damn seatbelt on.

jack -

tbh i wasn't all that excited to read about jack. (also to be fair i was still sobbing from finny's pov so that probably didn't help) like i seriously just thought it'd be some jock trying to process finny's death by hooking up with alexis (who by the way can go jump up her own ass and die) but we got the whole other side of him where he was genuinely affected by finny's death and really was his best friend. but the way he didn't like autumn way just- yeah. also i saw him and sylvie coming from a mile away like seriously it wasn't very subtle.

autumn -

*sobbing noises increase* autumn my baby girl. i just wanted to jump through the pages and give her a hug. seriously i feel robbed that we didn't get to see a happy autumn. angie and her's friend ship was so precious tho. and i love love LOVE that they bonded over being moms/soon-to-be-moms. im also just gonna say the way we didn't see an ounce of jamie or sasha this entire book made me so happy! i also lowkey wanted to see more of when she was an actual mom? like what would she name the baby? i wanted to see domestic autumn a little more. but i still love her so much and it was so lovely to see her heal <3

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers]

"my love for her is the closest thing i have to religion. but it's okay that she doesn't feel the same. i'm fine. i can handle it" - finny

"my devotion to autumn is engraved on my very being. i am in awe of her. i will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. i know i'll always love her in the same way i know i'll always need oxygen" - finny

"it's all done. finn's story is over. his whole life. that was it. not even nineteen years, and he'll never, ever do anything else ever again. finn won't go off to college or celebrate his birthday. he won't get another hair cut or get the oiled changed in his car. he won't bite a hangnail on his thumb or buy another CD. finn smith has done everything he will ever do. he won't get to be with autumn." - jack

“this baby isn't what's left over from our love story. this baby is our story's continuation.” - autumn

"if only i'd told her that i loved her years ago, i wouldn't be here now." - finny

all in all laura you can pay for my therapy mkay?

#the library ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆#if only i had told her #if he had been with me #ioihth #ihhbwm #laura nowlin #autumn davis #phineas smith #finny smith #jack murphy #the bookshelf ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

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svnflower-writes · 8 months ago

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i wanna find out

part one. ao3 | series masterlist

description: james is confused, but no less confused as he was when he was a high school student and denying his infatuation with his best friend's brother. now, regulus is a regular at the cafe he works in, and james doesn't know what to do.

warnings: none it's fluffy james is so cute

note: (reblog and comment please please please i need the validation) HI HELLO I AM BACK OKAY SO i heard the new gracie song and i went insane bc its so jegulus and wrote this in one hour in english class and its unedited. anyway this is a series, the masterlist is linked at the top. this chapter has been on ao3 since yesterday but i didn't get around to posting it here. lowkey think this is terrible but oh wellll

taglist: (i included the people on my marauders taglist so lmk if you don't wanna be on this one) @thestarslittleking @chaserofstars11 @gu1lty-as-sin @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @a-beautiful-fool @optimizedchaos @star-ch4ser @qwerty-keysmash @lost-in-reveriie @tulips-best @nqds

Upon his first week at high school, James Potter had come to the conclusion that he would end up with Lily Evans if it was the last thing he did. She was exactly the kind of girl he liked, she was pretty and opinionated and she seemed like the sweetest person he’d ever met. Remus had chuckled at his lovesick pining, not having the heart to tell the messy haired boy that your crush when you’re eleven years old is never your soulmate.

He pined after Lily for two years, with no clear progression other than Lily awkwardly smiling at him each time they passed in the hallways. Safe to say, James’ feelings were not reciprocated, and Marelne had grown a habit of snickering at the way his eyes followed her down the hall.

A few students at school had thought he was overdoing it slightly, but he really wasn’t. He wasn’t overly pushy, and he had only asked her out once or twice. He was clear about his feelings, but wasn't going to make her uncomfortable. James Potter was a gentleman in the truest sense of the word, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel an undeniable feeling of heartache when she walked past and ignored his presence.

Now, however, James was in university. He was as over Lily as he had ever been, and he had escaped the inherent unpleasantries that come with being a teen going through the heartache of growing up. He felt undeniably free, and not to mention his psychology course was helping him understand himself better than ever. He was happier than ever, saying otherwise would be a blatant understatement. He was living in a flat with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, which had been his dream since primary school.

Lily was now one of his closest friends, and she worked at the flower shop that had a door into the coffee shop James worked in. Lily’s law degree and James’ psychology one made them a perfect pair, and much to Remus’ surprise, the two studied together regularly. The fact that James’ attention span and motivation had changed since high school was something no one had expected, and although he still struggled, he had his tactics to get back on track.

Some things never change, though, and James still hated quiet, slow paced days more than death itself. He could deal with stressful, busy days, but the mundane was his greatest oppressor, the repetitiveness of a quiet day driving him to the edge of his sanity. Today happened to be one of those days, he sat behind the counter at the small coffee shop he worked in as customers filtered in once every half an hour.

He sat, watching the slow ticking of the clock as the time went by as slow as it possibly could. It was 12:38pm, and 12:20 felt like hours ago. Blankly staring at the wall, the coffee he’d made himself had been discarded on the counter next to him and he didn’t bother picking it up, knowing that after half an hour of it sitting there, it would surely be cold. Each time someone walked past the door of the shop, James perked up—only to sigh as they walked past without a second thought. James’ tendency to romanticise everything that life had to offer often left him disappointed.

Finally, he heard the bell signalling that someone had opened the door sound, and his head snapped up in relief. ‘ My saviour, love of my life, thank god you’re here.’ his brain sung as he sprung up from his seated position, standing at the counter within seconds of the boy walking into the shop. His signature smile appeared on his face, “hi, how’s your day going?”

The boy seemed to falter, as if his carefully planned interaction of simply ordering what he wanted and leaving had been disrupted by a simple question. His dull blue eyes widened, and his lips fell open in a dumbfounded expression before he picked himself up and showed James a tight lipped smile. “Uh, I’m good.”

James noticed that this small interaction had absolutely foiled his carefully planned coffee order, and the boy had entirely forgotten to say what he wanted. James smiled softly, chuckling in his head. He always thought it was interesting how common these interactions seemed to be when you worked in a coffee shop. The psychology major in him couldn’t help but psychoanalyse these interactions, which made working in hospitality both intriguing and perplexing. He found that you could get a pretty good idea of someone’s mindset and what their day to day life is like by doing this, and it almost acted as revision for his upcoming exam.

“What can I get you today?”

Embarrassment flushed over the dark haired boy’s face, and he automatically sent another tight lipped smile to try and compensate for his forgetfulness. A strand of his soft black curls fell over his eyes, and James could tell just by his body language and the look in his eyes that it annoyed him to no end. “A black coffee, please.”

That was fitting, James thought. With the tidy (almost obnoxiously so) outfit and the carefully styled short black hair, a black coffee was the only thing that really made sense for him.

“And can I have a name for that?”

Stupid boy, you know his name.

“Regulus.”

James knew how to spell it.

He knew how to spell it and he hated that. Regulus was his best friend’s brother, and things between Sirius and his younger brother were rough. They got along until they didn’t. Sirius had spent more evenings than James could count frantically ranting about him on evenings at James’ house after school. When Sirius had left for high school, Regulus had distanced himself from Sirius more than he ever had before. Regulus had always been detatched, and James knew this from Sirius’ extensive complaints.

James he knew he shouldn’t have been so enamoured with Regulus in his high school years as he was, but when James fell for someone he fell for them. He fell for them intensly and irreversably and everyone he had ever loved lived in his heart for eternity. It may seem like James was feeling too insensely, but for him to not love so deeply and fully would mean he was not James Potter. He could not be in any sort of relationship without loving them to the end of the earth. His mother had always told him to cherish this, that his way of loving was incredibly pure and a love that many people would give anything to be the recipient of. But based off his past relationships, his love was not something to be cherished.

“Alright, I’ll have that ready for you soon.”

While he was making the coffee, James allowed himself to watch Regulus, noticing the way his hair was slightly more inclined to falling to the right side of his forehead, the way his greyish-blue eyes fixed on one spot of the wall and didn’t seem to move. He watched as his hands anxiously clasped together in his lap and his foot tapped.

James was a master of the art of noticing, and he tended to read into what people did, more so than was probably helpful. But James had always been observant, even as a toddler he had had an integral interest in people. He understood when people said that the human race was done for, but he was compelled to disagree. He had a sense of optimism that many thought was overbearing, but in the same way, James sometimes found their pessimism slightly disheartening.

Regulus intrigued him, although the boy was made of very few words and made him fiddle with his hands behind the counter and cause his eyes to flutter around the room to look anywhere other than his eyes. Regulus was pretty. He was the definition of pretty, with his wavy black hair and his grey eyes that shone with something James couldn’t quite place. James felt an intense urge to sink into the ground and never reappear. Unsure of what this was, he played it off as simply nervousness around someone new—not that it was common for James to ever feel nervous around new people. Regulus had this aura about him, one that James couldn’t figure out. It was undeniable that Regulus made James shy, but James would deny the reason for this nervousness for as long as he possibly could—and longer. This was merely a customer that would show up to the coffee shop once and never again—after all, he hadn’t seen Regulus in the shop at all earlier in the year.

For a reason James couldn’t quite place, there was a hint of awkwardness between him and Regulus. They respected each other, sure, but when they were alone, without Sirius or Remus, James felt an intense urge to sink into the ground and never reappear. He played it off as simply nervousness around someone new—not that it was common for James to ever feel nervous around new people. Regulus had this aura about him, one that James couldn’t quite place. It was undeniable that Regulus made James nervous, but James would deny the reason for this nervousness for as long as he possibly could—and longer. Regulus didn’t speak much, and James tried but failed to match this. The silence felt awkward, and he couldn’t go for long sitting in silence with him until he overshared, making the situation more awkward than it had been beforehand.

“Long black for Regulus?”

He says his name, although there is no one else in the shop to mistake the coffee as their own. But James likes the way his name sounds on his lips, as horrifically cheesy as that may sound.

Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. He’s off-limits and you know that.

Looking up, Regulus looked up and flashed a small, awkward smile, walking to the counter and reaching for the coffee. As his fingers wrapped around the cup, they brushed James’ fingers, and his grey eyes flickered up to meet James’ deep brown ones. “Thank you,” he looked away quickly and was out of the shop before James could even respond.

Okay, James thought, okay, this is okay. He just has to make it out of the shop and then I’ll never see him again.

But then Regulus stops halfway out of the door, sending James a wonky smile and a soft “I’ll see you around.” His eyes are twinkling with something unrecognisable, and once he leaves James allows himself to breathe and forces the dorky smile off his face as he swears under his breath.

Stupid, stupid boy.

#series: you're the risk i'm gonna take it #luc writes #luc posts #jegulus #james potter x regulus black #james potter #regulus black #james and regulus #james x regulus #coffee shop au #university au #no magic au

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icycoldninja · 4 months ago

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Hi there! I would just like to thank you for doing my Lies of P request, I absolutely loved it! Thank you again and keep up the good work! 😘 I hope your requests are open. Anyhow, I am back again with another platonic headcannon request with the Sparda boys and V meet with a fem! Reader that is like Sophia from Lies of P (yes I am obssesed with the game, pls help)

Let's say the male reader from my first Lies of P request (Or P) introduced fem!reader and she is absolutely lovely, I mean, think about how the most caring mother would act and you would be pretty close how the fem!reader (or Sophia) acts. (And she really pretty. I mean, look at her)

She helps around as much as she can, but usually stays back from the combat, prefering to stay away and watch, rarely getting into fights. But then, maybe the male!reader is outnumbered and dies. Then fem!reader shows what she can do. She rewound time before the male!reader died. (I know since "rewinding time" other people wouldn't know she did that, but I feel like the boys would just habe a feeling of deja vu like they were here before.) And they ask male!reader if they were here (who is still in his silent past self) so they got no answers from him. But when questioning the fem!reader, she told them she rewound time and then she explained she actually had powers, mainly to talk to puppets, give people strength and the main part, rewinding time when the male!reader dies. (They still think the male reader is human)

Let's say some time passes, and lets say the fem!reader really grew on the boys. Until the faithful day when the male!reader got stabbed and left. (You know the rest) and for some odd reason the fem!reader disappeared a few weeks after the male!reader.

A lot of time passed (Let's say months since I still have no fucking idea how long the game is in it's time.) The male!reader returned but not fem!reader. And now, granted the power of speech, the male!reader explained what happened to her.

Alchemists (basically some crazy ass scientists) discovered the fem!reader had powers and took her away, while the male!reader was off to somehow gain more humanity (by lying) he found out what happened to to her and tried his best to find her, but when he found her, it was too late the alchemists already broke her.

(Her death broke me) in her final moments that were filled with pain, she asked the male!reader if he could kill her and take her egro since she waa in too much pain (basically egro is like sort of magic soul thingy every human in the game had.) And that she wanted to somewhat "be" with him always. He somberly accepted, ending her nightmare and collecting her egro and the magic she had, giving him finally some shred of humanity he yearned for. How would the boys react to this?

Btw, I am so fucking mad Spotify removed Devil Trigger and Bury the light off their app.

Anyways, I hope you have a good day and that you eat and drink and sleep well. Bye! ❤️

Lol no problem, I can see why you're obsessed, it looks fun. P is lowkey adorable and honestly looks like a mini-V. Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Sophia-like!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante didn't expect his little buddy P to bring back a girl, thinking said girl was P's girlfriend or something.

-He was so happy when he found out you were single because you had to have been one of the prettiest ladies he'd ever met. Your mannerisms and sweetness made him think you'd be excellent wife material.

-When P got stabbed and then ran off to do his thing, Dante was dismayed to discover you had left a little while after as well, though whether or not you left with him remained to be seen.

-He searched high and low for you for many, many months, but he didn't find you until P came back to inform him that some crazy scientists possibly Hojo's relatives had taken you away to extract your powers.

-Together, the boys went to find you, but when they got there, it was too late. The alchemists had taken everything from you, even most of your body. You were alive, but just barely. It was a miserable existence, so you begged P to take your life force and just end everything already. P wasn't too happy to do this, but it had to be done, so he did.

-Dante was never the same. Every day he'd find himself wandering around aimlessly, staring up at the sky and wondering if you were still watching over him, or if you'd gone to heaven. Maybe you'd have met his mother. Whenever he sees a blue butterfly, Dante can't help but cry because it reminds him of you, and all that he's lost.

■ Vergil ■

-Upon being introduced to you, Vergil found you to be the sweetest, kindest girl he'd ever met.

-He resonated with you, since both of you have this natural parental nature that makes you seem like sage advice givers.

-When P got stabbed and dissappeared, he never thought you would leave a few weeks after. He was hurt that you would just abandon him like that without saying anything, even if you were in a hurry to locate P.

-Vergil searched for you, eventually running into a returning, more human-like P, who told him of the alchemists that had taken you away.

-The guys hurried to find you, but when they arrived, you'd already been stripped of most of your powers, barely clinging onto life. You pleaded with P to take the last of your ergo and release you from your suffering, which he did, somberly.

-Vergil was sure he'd lost the only person in the world who truly understood him for good, and despite all his MOTIVATION, he still managed to fall into depression. He keeps a terrarium of blue butterflies by his bedside at all times, using it to remind himself of the love of his life.

□ Nero □

-Nero didn't expect to be introduced to such a lovely lady by his buddy P, but he wasn't going to refuse.

-You were so nice! It was such a refreshing change of pace to know someone who wasn't crazy, stupid, a deadbeat, or a mixture of the three.

-He was absolutely heartbroken when you ran off after P left. He expected this from the kid, but not from you! He thought you would have enough sense to stay with him so you could look for P together.

-Angry, confused, and scared all at the same time, Nero looked for you and P, running into the latter a little later, who told him of your horrible fate.

-Nero knew that it was hopeless, but he ran to find you anyway. He honestly shouldn't have been surprised by what he saw, yet it still destroyed him to see you like that.

-After P took your ergo and released you from ultimate misery, Nero spent a long time in solitude, just wandering around, talking to butterflies and mourning your loss.

● V ●

-V fell in love with you on first sight. You were the tender, loving, beautiful soul he never knew he needed in his life.

-Both of you sit on the sidelines during fights, but if P is ever gravely wounded in battle, you rewind time for him, which is a disorienting experience, but it's not that bad.

-Was absolutely crushed when you disappeared after P got stabbed. Now is the time when he needs you the most! V went looking for you, but he just didn't have the stamina to keep searching for long.

-P came back, eventually, with grave news. You'd been taken by alchemists who wanted to steal all your powers, and if they didn't hurry and find you soon, it might be too late.

-Unfortunately, it was, for by the time they found you, most of your ergo had already been drained, and what was left was hardly enough to keep you alive for a few more minutes. You begged P to just end it already, much to V's dismay.

-After that, V depended on P more than ever. His darling was gone, and if he didn't have a shoulder to lean on, he might as well die of grief. He may move on, someday, but that day is far, far off in the future.

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yukkoislost · 7 months ago

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i am BACK GODDDAMN sorry no magical girls or md omori to be seen atm 😞 i have ocs tho LMAO

listened to my heart?? and decided to draw ocs before i go absolutely insane. i mean i have three perfectly fine md ocs to work on so i might as well

i never did tell you what i had planned for asta huh

oc dump below cut that no one asked for <3

the three musketeers of my account HDJEHDHS

allow me to introduce them properly, i guess?¿ they each have their own individual posts but those posts were kinda rough around the edges,,

ASTA ✨

asta is my first (disregarding older ocs) md oc i've made. she's ridiculously smart (for the most part) but is also inherently a scaredy cat. she hates change and hates the unknown, sticking to a routine that she's used to for comfort.

like doll, she doesn't have her parents anymore and they're also partly the reason she doesn't have a courage. her parents' death had killed her curious spirit. they had always been more overprotective of her, considering they had both escaped unscathed out of the cabin fever labs situation.. (070 and 072, working on that) if asked, her strongest emotion is Fear. she's allowed it to control her life so much she doesn't know what it's like to live, despite being alive. because of this, even though she had been offered a spot with the cheerleaders, she didn't take it as it would mean a deviation from her comforting routine.

of course, her routine can't last forever. life in the bunker is boring but it was safe, and that's all she needed. (going into how she would be a part of the story? in progress though) she and uzi never knew each other personally. she sat at the back of the class while uzi was towards the front. she preferred not sitting too close to her because of her, uh, personality and actions? either way, she doesn't feel safe with uzi around because of uzi's inventive mind, and her tendency to do and create dangerous things (e.g., her sick as hell railgun. and also the whole braiden thing). asta wasn't necessarily shunned, she just had a small group of friends that she preferred sticking to (until doll killed them in the days going onto the promening)

getting the absolute solver string was NOT on her to-do list, but as mentioned, routine doesn't last forever. she hated the solver string and actively tried to ignore it, but it was difficult because if fucked with her systems and caused her to crave oil (which is a whole other thing and also the point where she finally accepted that she can't keep brushing away what she doesn't want to face). did i also mention she hears the solver's voice in the back of her head, because yeah that happens.

either way, since gaining the solver's string, she is also made aware that uzi and doll both had it but didn't try to reach out for help, still strongly controlled by her fear. my plan for asta was similar to how nori was the solver's secondary host (since cyn wasn't on copper-9 at the time), she would become puppet to the absolute solver, and in turn the third official host because of how lowkey she was and doll and uzi not knowing she had the solver. naturally, asta hated the idea of becoming a pet for the solver and constantly tries to override the solver's control on her (eventually succeeding. it leads the solver to want her death because it fears that asta will take over)

this is all canon divergence ofc :3

SERIAL DESIGNATION E 🐾

my second md oc, and first and only disassembly drone oc (for now? maybe haven't decided). serial designation E (also known as E or cerberus) is the outcast of his three-drone-squad. he had once tried to fit in better with the rest of his peers but after the first attempt, decided that it was too bothersome and they didn't deserve him anyway. or, that's how he phrased it in his lonesome.

he's the laziest of the bunch and hates any extra movement, preferring to kill prey quickly than to draw it out and have fun. he only hunts when his oil levels go down to 15% and if given the choice, he would've chosen to not need to eat at all. he isolates himself and has a small space set up away from the pod and essentially, his squad.

he didn't always used to be like this though, as mentioned whenever he tried his best to fit in with the rest, he did work hard. it wasn't enough though (nothing ever is). outcasted for his strange feature of having three nanite tails instead of one, he was always made fun of and in the beginning was also nicknamed Dog by his two other squad members since he wanted so bad to feel like he was needed and important to them, to the point he would willingly have done anything for them. but that was in the past. there's no point.

as a butler in the elliot manor, he has occasionally come across J, V, N and cyn. hard not to when they hang around the young mistress so often, especially J as her personal maid.. or something. he doesn't remember too well. much like his currently disassembly drone self, he took whatever shortcut he could find back in the mansion. he isn't a good person. he wasn't good then, and certainly isn't any better now. maybe a little. back in the manor, he hated doing work. he severely lacks motivation and seriously can't find a reason that he should be bothered other than the humans could kill him, or whatever. it didn't matter, or maybe it did? he wants to live (does he?) he doesn't remember.

anyway. that life is far behind him now. his squad was sent to copper 9 by JcJenson in spaaaaaaaaace (i forgot how many A's were in the space) to clear out the worker drones of course. he's got a chunk of missing memory somewhere in his head.. somewhere dark and somewhere fleshy. probablly not important. he remembers his quad but he can't find them, only alerted that a new pod and three new disassembly drones had landed– J, V and N (where was the other one? who was the other one? someone is not missing)

the forest breathes life into the dead landscape.

how long had he been asleep for?

OCTAVIERY 🦉

the oc that y'all would be familiar with. octaviery has more posts than asta and E combined (i think). the accidentally acquired child of N and uzi somewhere within the events of cabin fever

the good, quiet child of nuzi,, if you disregard his love for 'extreme sports' (read climbing into places he doesn't belong, and eventually getting stuck like an idiot). since his parents are both verbally loud and open, he never really had to ask for anything himself because his psuedo-parents dealt with it for him, leaving him to be the only introverted person of their small family.

he grows faster than a normal drone would, and thus reaches the age of a young teenager even while uzi is still in school. (yes, he is, in fact, taller than uzi. not taller than N though)

he doesn't know his true purpose.

AND THEN I GOT LAZY TO TYPE🤞

#yukko has ocs #murder drones #murder drones fandom #md oc #murder drones original character #md ocs #nuzi fankid

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luverbov · 9 months ago

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𐀔 (𝓢) igzai headcanons ィ

“ I never understood, what i was born for “

↺ requested by a friend ( <3 ) fluff 𔓘 ooc

ꕀ Pre-relationship

Ah, so we ignore chapter 114 and Mersault goes smoothly along with Fyodors death, Sigma is finally free, and so Dazai keeps his promise and recruits him to the ADA where he had his entrance exam and our silly casino boy passed.

Sigma sits next to Atsushi, they know each other a little and I feel like they'd be really good friends so!

Sigma is Atsushi's partner (CAUSE Dazai's is Kunikida) and sometimes Dazai gets jealous and whines so he can work with Sigma once every now-and-then.

Since Atsushi is still Dazai's subordinate, I think Sigma would be Kunikida's but they switch sometimes.

Sometimes Dazai goes up to Atsushi and tells him fetch him a coffee, which Atsushi- being the sweetheart he is, obliges to. But really, Dazai just wanted to steal Atsushi's place for a few minutes to annoy and flirt with Sigma.

Dazai takes Sigma down the coffee shop downstairs and Sigma has to watch his painfully horrible attempts of flirting with the waitress and shamelessly embarrassing himself which is lowkey funny to Sigma.

I dunno why I feel like Sigma has givin Dazai the silent treatment a lot and Dazai whines and begs him for attention, he's just spoiled like that ¯\_( ツ )_/¯

Dazai was the one to confess because Sigmas a pussy and I feel like it happened on accident too

ꕀ They're inlove

Honestly Ranpo and Yosano wonders why they didn't date sooner, it was so obvious they were into each other that even Kunikida noticed. Anyways after a few months of teasing and flirting, Dazai grew some balls and asked Sigma out with Ranpo's assistance.

Sigma gives Dazai dark chocolate sometimes, esp after a mission because Dazai likes dark chocolate, FIGHT THE WALL. Dazai loves these little presents and you can catch a glimpse of actual happiness when he receives these. Not silliness. Happiness.

In return Dazai takes Sigma out and treats him to street food (esp crab) because Sigma practically grew up in the Sky Casino, he probably has never had these.

Dazai loves to brag about Sigma to Chuuya and Kunikida, and both of them questions how Sigma deals with Dazai, and honestly, poor boy has no idea either, he just does.

"Well I have a lover! I don't see anyone chasing after you Chuuya~"

Dazai loves rambling about his day to Sigma while cuddling, it makes him feel so safe as Sigma gently strokes Dazai's hair and listen to him rant.

THEY MOVED IN TOGETHER.

Sometimes, Sigma gets woken by Dazai whispering stupid stuff at like 2am which mostly just to piss Sigma off. Dazai always apologizes afterwards and makes it up with gifts and cookies.

Dazai loves admiring Sigma sleep, like they'll be cuddling with Dazai on a sleeping Sigmas chest and Dazai just traces his face gently and plays with his hair

Dazai is a big fan of physical touch so he'll always be grabbing Sigmas waists and hips, he's a lap-sitter for sure and he doesn't mind PDA. They'll be solving a case together and Dazai would randomly kiss Sigmas cheek and enjoy the flustered reaction as Sigma tries to hide his rosy cheeks.

Dazai is a "honey, dear, angel, beautiful" typa guy while Sigma is a "my love, sweetheart" typa guy. I don't think any of them uses "babe, darling, ect." ( Chuuya tho 👀 )

Sigmas kisses are short, gentle pecks which Dazai is more of a sultry, sensual and teasing kiss cause he's just Dazai.

They slow dance from time to time because it reminds them of the day they met, the whole ADA finds it adorable.

ᐢ..ᐢ Shout out to my friend @8st-rjj for helping me, mwah ! ᨒ

⊹　︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶　 ୨୧　︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶　 ⊹

#sillyclee #dazai osamu #sigzai #sigma bungou stray dogs #bsd sigma #bungou stray dogs dazai #headcannons #bungou gay dogs

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platonically-loving-alastor · 7 months ago

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Hazbin Unus Annus AU Part 1: Trailer

The original first video was like a trailer, which I don't think Alastor and Lucifer would've wanted to make, considering it not only was not their idea, but they didn't want to put any extra effort (or footage) into something they both despised. But Charlie insisted that, since the videos would be public and would be a great opportunity to advertise how well the hotel worked, making a trailer would be a good idea to let people know about it. This took a lot of convincing, specifically on Alastor's part, as he didn't want it to be public to begin with. The only reason he ever (begrudgingly) agreed, was because it could be an opportunity for him to publicly humiliate the King Of Hell repeatedly throughout the year. This way, though, instead of it being a video telling us about the unstoppable march of time and inevitable death, it went a lot more like this

Lucifer: Think of these videos as an experiment to show you all how well the Hazbin Hotel can work! *mumbles, still audible but less performative* Because if this place can make us get along, it can do anything..

Alastor: We will also be purging the remains at the end of a 365 day time period-

Lucifer: Reasoning for which is uh, not to be revealed publicly.

Alastor: And let it be made explicitly clear; If any one of you decides to save and reupload any of it, I will track you down and make you wish it was an exterminator who found you first.

Lucifer: .. Uh huh. *clears throat* Anyway, you do no not want to miss this opportunity!

Alastor: Tune in tomorrow for the first sample of the content we'll be bringing to you throughout this year.

Yes, Lucifer lowkey sounding like he's announcing a limited time offer in an as-seen-on-TV ad at some points is purposeful. He and Alastor are both good presenters, but they have very different approaches when it comes to putting on this sort of front for an audience.

Oh, and here's some bonus context I didn't add in the original post but feel is important information about the AU:

Vox is obviously an avid viewer of their channel. He consumes their content like cocaine just like he used to do with Alastor's radio broadcasts, tuning in every single day. He thinks he's hiding it from Val and Vel. He is not doing a good job of it.

The rest of the Hazbin characters (overlords, hotel guests/staff, etc.) act as the guests they have on to teach them things. I haven't gone through the list and decided who's who yet, and there will be repeats. Vox is not an exception to this btw, in fact he would be particularly determined to find an excuse to be in a video (for marketing, jealousy, and general Alastor related reasons).

I'll go more in depth about it when I get to them, but the ghost-hunting videos are not taken seriously. They're in Hell, they know damn well ghosts aren't haunting the place. This is also a good time to remind you that many of the video ideas are not their own, and are more likely given to them by Charlie or Angel Dust. This is one of those ideas.

I also realized the fact this would be Lucifer's first presence in the public eye in an incredibly long time, which means thousands of sinners' very first impression of the King of Hell will be him acting like an idiot. Sinners already don't take him seriously, this does not help his case.

#im gonna make a more efficient title/tag for this series #hazbin ua au #hazbin hotel #alastor #lucifer morningstar #charlie morningstar #vox #angel dust

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generalkenobitrash · 5 months ago

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spoilers for ep6 of hotd s2

i'm completely confused by the writing at this point, but i do like that we're getting more team green representation because they were too cartoonishly evil and not cool last season. i would've wanted corlys to have an outburst over rhaenys' death last episode, rather than simply going to driftmark for baela to convince him. rhaenyra making him hand of the king would have had more importance then, i think. jace is sitting the council at last lol. knowing what will happen to steffon darklyn, i feel kinda bad for him. it was a bit of a stupid decision, especially considering bastards are perhaps a better bet than a kingsguard (a very needed one, at that) whose relation to house targaryen is pretty distant. but i do admire than he genuinely wanted to help his queen and thus kinda sacrificed himself. okay, my wish for daemon to hallucinate viserys has come to pass at last. though viserys says the same stuff as in season 1, but it's much more...soft. i actually prefer this one to the scene in s1. viserys is more vulnerable and it's always a pleasure to see paddy considine. daemon's storyline is a bit slow but i'm glad to see him being driven to the edge of madness. matt smith is a phenomenal actor, so he carries the sometimes boring writing. simon strong is being an icon as always. i love caraxes so the screen time is much appreciated. i just know alys giggles to herself when daemon has his luigi's mansion moments. i do love that she makes him face his faults when he's trying to run. daemon has always wanted the crown, but it's so clear to see that he's not fit for it. he's right that rhaenyra never wanted it, but she rose up to the occasion. she's being a leader. daemon struggles to raise men by threat of fire. alys and mysaria are the most interesting characters to me this season. by saying that in three days the winds will shift, i think alys meant that grover tully will die and oscar will take his place and therefore secure an army for rhaenyra. i am still sad to lose kermit tully. i understand the muppets association but it's legit a cool name 😂. the scene where ser steffon tries to bond with seasmoke was very interesting. it's pretty neat to get more insight into the dragonbonding process. anyways, rip steffon darklyn. you did your best. i do like sylvi (the brothel madam) and dyana, so i'm curious to see what's next for them, though i think sylvi may not appear again. anyways, the smallfolk have my heart. i like that after suffering yet another loss, rhaenyra feels utterly frustrated and desperate. i love love and love rhaenyra and mysaria. i kind of don't like the "the people will be hungry and will need someone to blame", because yes, the keep has more than enough food for themselves, but it was rhaenyra who initiated the blockade. the blame could easily shift to her. with all the dismissing and whatnot, i don't think otto even managed to reach oldtown before he's being summoned back lol. aegon didn't really listen to his council, but atleast he tried, while aemond's being outright mean to his council. tom glynn carney is amazing. no matter what aegon did, i don't think he deserves to be lowkey tortured by aemond. tgc is seriously too charismatic and too good to make me hate aegon. i truly wonder if they'll make rhaena tame sheepstealer. i love my sweet girl sm. the baby dragons are so cute. i'm sorry jeyne arryn is so beautiful i can't focus whenever she's on-screen. i'm lowkey stressed that the battle of the gullet is coming. i love the rather subtle way they're using to show that addam and alyn are bastards. i like alyn in the show. i love that even rhaenyra is sick of daemon. he truly has to get his act together and recognize that it is rhaenyra's claim he should uphold. how did the fisher guy not see the boat before it was right there at the beach? oh well. food for the smallfolk yay. lyman beesbury haunts the narrative. i write as i watch the episode and i'm already at the limit and the episode is not even over 💀

#house of the dragon #alicent hightower #hotd #criston cole #daemon targaryen #hotd spoilers #rhaenyra targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #corlys velaryon

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abbie-wannabe-poet · 2 months ago

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Guilt and Sunsets.

Guilt and sunsets Today I saw a sunset—a beautiful sunset. And normally I would be smiling, enjoying its beauty. But today was different.  Mainly because it was my first sunset without you. So today, I didn't smile and laugh, instead, I cried and I cried, and cried some more. Because you weren't there with me. Holding me close, telling me it's ok, telling me how much you love me, telling me to enjoy the sunset, because every sunset was different and unique. (not that you ever said that I just wish that you did).  And then I cried some more. I cried, and I cried and wondered how much I could cry before the tears ran dry. (?) The answer to that is the tears don't run dry; I don't think they do at least. And I will probably never know because normally I sleep before I can stop crying. The only time I sleep is when I cry myself to sleep, and if i am honest (Something I rarely am nowadays.),I only sleep to try and escape you, but you plague my dreams anyway. It's like your soul does it on purpose, just to spite me for the mistakes I made while you were still here. Like your soul enjoys the fact that my guilt eats me alive, till there's nothing but void left, over and over again, day in and day out. (God help me before I lose my mind.)

The guilt. Oh, how I could go on and on about the guilt. (I won't though, not today at least.) The void it creates and destroys only for the sake of hurting my already fragile soul. How it makes me feel everything and nothing. Like looking at a dark tunnel and seeing the light at the end. The light that is supposed to bring hope but now only brings dread and sorrow. For one question rings on and on in my tumultuous and disorderly mind. What comes after the light? I hope and beg god that its death. And as sad and depressing and sorrowful as that sounds, I do have my reasons, a valid reason. For if death meant I could be free of this guilt, then I would welcome the shadow in the corner of my room with open arms.

Perhaps that's what happened to you on September 25th, 2024; maybe your guilt got too much. (Because as much as I wish you were perfect, I know you weren't, and I'm learning to accept that.) Maybe you took all you could take, and eventually you found that the shadow in the corner of your room was the great escape you had been looking for The escape from the guilt that I assume was eating you alive as it is eating me alive. (Like a hungry, vengeful beast.)

Maybe that's why you chose the shadow in the corner of your room over me, over your family. 

Maybe you felt it was the only way you'd find peace. I hope you did find your peace, really, I do.

Maybe you really did believe I'd be fine without you. (I'm not fine, even though I swear it to the shadow in the corner of my room.) Maybe you just felt too guilty to survive further. Maybe you needed a friend, and I wasn't there for you, like you were for me. So, you made friends with the shadow in the corner of your room.

Maybe one day I'll accept that you left but at least you had a friend with you when you left. And maybe I'll finally stop crying over sunsets. And hopefully I'll find a different escape from my guilt other than the shadow in the corner of my room. -Abbie :): This is the typed out version of the last post cause once I had posted it I realized it was lowkey kinda blurry, so if you can't/couldn't read it ,here ya go. (◠‿◠)

#original poem #poem #poems #poems and poetry #poet #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #writers and poets #new poetry

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ohsocheesiness · 1 year ago

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Played both Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty Endings

Both are super good in my opinion for V, Reed, and So Mi. Needed somewhere to post my thoughts.

My Natural Instinct

I did not trust So Mi at all, bro. Even from the beginning.. the thing with the chimera was suspect. Disappearing like that after I saved myers... idk bro. However, I do empathize with her circumstances. She's stuck somewhere where she's being abused. She's dying and she just wants to be free.

Don't trust Myers, but seemed the type to keep her end of the deal.

I didn't necessarily trust Reed either, but I believed in him. A man of principle who stuck by his team and country even if they did him dirty. I felt like So Mi only fake cared about me, but I felt like Reed truly did care about me and my life. He saw V as another of his comrads to protect. However, I knew it was his government that he'd unfortunately follow till his wheels deteriorated.

Following Reed

I believed that Reed 100% wanted to help So Mi escape. I told So Mi I only kind of trusted her and that I think Reed wants what's best for her.

Gameplay wise I think it's cool that following the FIA turned into a freaking horror survival game lmfao. I love the secret agent style shit in PL

Anyway, only in this ending do we learn that ROGUE AI are basically attacking her and using her as a fucking link to the physical world through the real net. She mentioned she felt like somebody was over her shoulder her whole time. It was THEM. I wonder what Alt would've had to say about it if I asked her tbh.

In the end though, there was a great moment with So Mi who was at her end. I had a save point and played out both instances if I killed her or if I let Reed take her. I don't really remember what my first instinct was to do... but after knowing both endings it would've been best just to kill her and give her freedom man. However, saving her gives us a bit more to Reed's character.

Reed is freaking depressed bro lmfao. He is the one keeping so mi in chains. He is the one locked in chains. He knows he's just a dog, enslaved to ideals he doesn't think truly matters, but it's all he has. The only thing he can do is lean into it, despite knowing it's flaws. "All that matters is that So Mi is still living." I think that's why Reed never comes suicide despite seeming so empty, he's strong enough to carry everything.. it's his duty even.

Ofc I accepted the offer to save my life, it made sense to me that they could really help and that Reed would do right by me.

FUCKING HURT ME that Johnny had to get destroyed so abruptly like that. I know he didn't want it. He accepted it though, his true death. Just Rogue and V being his last remnants of life in NC.

If you tell Reed thanks, he says something like "there's nothing to thank me for, V" and leaves, head hung down. Another life Reed took and ruined. Got So Mi on life support, enslaved by Myers, Alex killed, V some kind of wonky life so different than before. Coma for 2 years.

Also my Panam romance 💔💔💔💔 damnit! Panam is definitely the type to fucking be done with it cause she thinks I broke her heart but dang. Wish somebody would've went through my contacts and gave them the heads up 😐 but I LOVE what happened to Judy after this. She deserved the peace man. She's such a cool homie if you guys are platonic.

Following So Mi

I tried to play a lot more empathetic with So Mi and her circumstances, instead of just it being mutually beneficial. V was the only one who can understand what was happening to her.

& Since I played this second, I felt guilty asking her to use the black wall to hack shit and kill people while we were escaping from Hansen's spot. It's lowkey best to play this ending as a netrunner. You help So Mi a lot more directly.

So Mi is really just like V, kind of. She just wants to live, so she'll betray and lie to her friends and simply just have to feel bad about it afterwards. For the most part, V won't sell out to a corp, but So Mi kind of sold out her friends. Her character flaw I guess.

This is also the only ending where a diologue option will tell you MR BLUE EYES is the one who contacted her for NUSA info and hooked her up with a deal to get to the moon! This is the only time i remember hearing about him before you do the Sun ending. He definitely a major player in the next game and there's something he's trying to do involving space. Which is why i assume he sends V on a mission to the crystal palace.

Anyway, So Mi eventually reveals that she was lying to me the whole time. She knew it was only a one use kind of deal.... prick. But I told her I would've helped her anyway if she just told me.. which maybe I would've tbh.

I carried her to the rocket thing. Reed was waiting for you. You two are at odds now and he means business. He lowkey tries to butter you up about protecting So Mi, but call him on his bullshit. Then he switches up, he wants to take care in to answer for her crimes. I said I didn't want to have to shoot him. He said "neither do i" 🥹 but yea I popped his ass after he gave me no choice. In a certain regard I was happy he found peace. Killing reed is the best thing to do in this ending 100%

You hook So Mi in the rocket to the moon and talk with Johnny as you two watch her go into space. Real.

Wait long enough you get a mysterious message to go find a package. The package has evidence that So Mi is alive on the moon. Very cool! She lives in this ending. And she's free. I was actually super happy about that tbh.

Also with this ending, Alex lives. PL tried to give you a relationship with her... in the ending where she dies I was sad about it but got over it. In this ending where she lives you get another chance to chat with her. She calls you up to the bar and basically wants to ask about Reed's last moments and to say goodbye. I really liked Alex's character and appreciated this goodbye.

A while after this, you get a postcard on your megabuilding apartment door from Morocco. Alex is free too. A very good ending. Now it's up to V to find out how to survive (lol)

Which is better?

You get to see into So Mi's past with the first ending. First hand. You get some conversations with Reed that give him more depth, but So Mi either dies or might as well have died. Reed lives on avoiding his very clear regret, but may have found purpose. If you choose to take the help here V becoming just another face in the crowd... a bit of a shame if you played into the 'become a night city legend' but kind of deep and real considering now he has a new life, but had to go through a lot and lose a lot on the way.

With the second ending, Alex and So Mi live & them and Reed are free from being dogs to the NUSA government. You get your farewells... at least somebody gets a happy ending. With this, you also get your farewell with Johnny in one of the base endings. You can digest the weight of a life and choosing your own way to go. There's some moments in this, the conversations inbetween, in big fights, hand in hand with So Mi that make this worth while. Digesting it all with Johnny means a lot too.

So idk

#cyberpunk #cyberpunk2077 #cyberpunk phantom liberty #cyberpunk edgerunners #female v #male v cyberpunk #idris elba #keanu reeves #johnny silverhand #video games #cyberpunk v #panam #judy alvarez #songbird cyberpunk #solomon reed

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