#anyway this brought to you by my love of sea birds and my various bird guides strewn around me

[thecryofthegulls]

On Elwing's Bird Forms

In the educated opinion of me, a slightly wine-drunk semi-professional seabird specialist with a Tolkien hyperfixation, procrastinating from a work presentation I should be preparing let's gooooo.

Too many people think of Elwing in the form of a random bird thing, when there are so many interesting species!

First, the source text (emphasis by me):

"... they told that Elros and Elrond were taken captive, but Elwing with the Silmaril upon her breast had cast herself into the sea. Thus Maedhros and Maglor gained not the jewel; but it was not lost. For Ulmo bore up Elwing out of the waves, and he gave her the likeness of a great white bird, and upon her breast there shone as a star the Silmaril, as she flew over the water to seek Ëarendil her beloved. On a time of night Ëarendil at the helm of his ship saw her come towards him, as a white cloud exceeding swift beneath the moon, as a star over the sea moving in strange course, a pale flame on wings of storm. And it is sung that she fell from the air upon the timbers of Vingilot, in a swoon, nigh unto death for the urgency of her speed, and Ëarendil took her to his bosom; but in the morning with marvelling eyes he beheld his wife in her own form beside him with her hair upon his face, and she slept."

"On those journeys Elwing did not go, for she might not endure the cold and the pathless voids, and she loved rather the earth and the sweet winds that blow on sea and hill. Therefore there was built for her a white tower northward upon the borders of the Sundering Seas; and thither at times all the sea-birds of the earth repaired. And it is said that Elwing learned the tongues of birds, who herself had once worn their shape; and they taught her the craft of flight, and her wings were of white and silver-grey. And at times, when Ëarendil returning drew near again to Arda, she would fly to meet him, even as she had flown long ago, when she was rescued from the sea. Then the far-sighted among the Elves that dwelt in the Lonely Isle would see her like a white bird, shining, rose-stained in the sunset, as she soared in joy to greet the coming of Vingilot to haven."

The Silmarillion CHAPTER 24 OF THE VOYAGE OF EARENDIL AND THE WAR OF WRATH

Mute Swan (Cygnus olor)

Right out of the gate, a swan is a popular choice for Elwing. Makes sense, they are beautiful, regal birds with a graceful baring on the water. There is a strong association between mute swans and England, they are indeed an old world bird and as part of Tolkien's worldview as oak trees. They are also vicious and brave defenders of their young. A tough bird, symbol of the Teleri Elwing's elven clan. However, not the best for Elwing. They are not sea birds, and while powerful fliers, do not fly particularly high or far. Mute swans are heavy, needing a lengthy run on the water to take off with a clacking of their wings. Not the ideal shape to fly across the ocean undetected to find your mariner husband, or meet said husband in the morning sky when he comes back from being a star.

Dalmatian Pelican (Pelecanus crispus)

No, not a Great White Pelican, but a Dalmatian Pelican. More silvery than its pale African cousin, the Dalmatian Pelican has the advantage of being present in more Mediterranean climes, which might be representative of what Sirion was like (thank you @outofangband). Pretty much the largest freshwater bird, this choice for Elwing suffers the same problem as the mute swan. Not a sea bird, doesn't really do long-distance flights. Though I could imagine this large silvery-grey bird being mistaken for a cloud in the night, and you KNOW that the Silmaril is tucked nice and safe in that big pouch!

Wandering Albatross (Diomedea exulans)

Now that's a sea bird! Another popular choice for Elwing, this graceful soaring beauty is essentially the biggest flying bird in the world by wingspan, with a sweeping 11 feet/3.5 meters. The older they are, the whiter they become, with only bit of dark plumage on the wing tips and tail. The wandering albatross is the textbook example of a great white bird. Albatross adore storms, and can use strong (storm) wings to carry them over vast distances very quickly. They nest on steep hills, because they need the sweet winds to give them lift to take off. All in all, like the others above, large enough to carry a Silmaril without affecting flight capabilities. Though I really can't imagine Ëarendil cradling an albatross to his bosom, long wings flopping down on both sides of him. (Elros and Elrond are definitely albatross chicks muppets, as per @swanmaids' point).

Black-legged Kittiwake (Rissa tridactyla)

A gull! Yes, of course, but which gull? There are 54 gull species, and so many of them are herring gulls. But for Elwing? Ulmo would transform her into a Black-legged Kittiwake. A graceful, almost dove-like gull, Kittiwakes are bright white with wings topped in silver-grey. They fly like they are playing in the wind, and spend most of their lives at sea. Gorgeous sea bird. Ëarendil would hug. Am I biased because I love them? Maybe.

Ross's Gull (Rhodostethia rosea)

You want a more white and daintier gull? I was going to write about the Ivory Gull (Pagophila eburnea) but if we are going with a rare Arctic species, there are many good things about the Ross's Gull. I mean look at it! White and silver-grey with a rosy blush like it is continuously bathed in sunset, a black collar like Elwing is still wearing the memory of the Nauglamír. I also prefer to go with Ross's gull because every time I have seen an ivory gull in the wild it was slightly blood-stained (they feed off polar bear kills) which has very unfortunate implications in Elwing's case really...

But really, if you want a pure-white dove that actually goes sea for your Elwing imagery, go with ivory gull instead!

Roseate Tern (Sterna dougallii)

Terns are gorgeous sea birds with impressive flight capacity, and pack an absolutely ridiculous amount of fight and spite in 100 g. I have a scar on the top of my head from a tern chasing me off a beach where it was nesting. That beak sure pinches. Roseate Tern are particularly pretty, and if you subscribed to raven-haired Elwing, that cap is an excellent match. The adults also gain a pink sunset stain on their underparts, so you get that poetic match again. Terns would absolutely yell at Manwë, and probably have.

Northern Gannet (Morus bassanus)

Now if you think Elwing was pale-haired and blue-eyed, a Northern Gannet would be more for you. Northern Gannets are sea birds of great size, swift and fearless. They quite literally launch themselves into the sea. They are powerful enough fliers to evoke thoughts of storm-wings and clouds under moon. Gannets also follow boats, which works nicely with the imagery of bird-Elwing meeting Vingilot.

White-tailed Tropicbird (Phaethon lepturus)

Look at this beautiful thing, is she not fitting of a daughter of Dior, of Lúthien's line? I hope I see one for real one day. These long-tailed sea birds are excellent, graceful in flight, easy to see at a distance due to their tail. More active in the morning and in the evening, more to catch the morning and evening star. White-tailed Tropicbirds also come in a spectacular 'golden' variety. Absolutely fitting for someone named Star-Spray.

Snow Petrel (Pagodroma nivea)

When I first read the Silmarillion years ago, and I read "... as a white cloud exceeding swift beneath the moon, as a star over the sea moving in strange course, a pale flame on wings of storm" I immediately imagined a glowing white creature that I eventually witness in real life: the gloriously beautiful snow petrel. And while Elwing might not endure the cold and pathless void like a snow petrel would around Antarctica, I think she would revel in the shining feathers, the swift, fleet wings, and, as a feature of being a petrel, the tube nose that would allow her to smell and find Ëarendil anywhere at sea or in the sky. They soar with such joy. Perfect hold-to-your-bosom sized. Snow petrels are one of my favourite sea birds, and you should know more about them!

Like how they have the most hilarious defence mechanism:

...

Rock Ptarmigan (Lagopus muta)

No absolutely not.

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together! or Days of Summer

Hello all you happy scottaholics! Welcome back to those of you who’ve read the rest of this retrospective and welcome to those of you just joining us. This is the Scottrospective, my look at all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the game and the movie. It’s all the video game refrenes, slice of life story telling and boob punches you can handle!

It’s been three months since I left off with “The Infinite Sadness” , and while I intended to cover this one for Valentine’s Day, my schedule got away from me and with March being full up, this ended taking till April

I”m not too put off by it though as the hiatus between these two reviews is fitting for this one both in story and out. In story there’s a couple month time skip between books, while out.. this book got delayed a few times.  

This is notable to me at least because this was the first volume of the series I bought when it came out. As i’ve brought up before I came into the series via the Free Comic Book Day Issue and the second and third volumes, picking one up later. I still have my original copies despite no longer really needing them thanks to having the color editions in general. Always will provided something dosne’t happen to them. So this was my first instalment that I got to read fresh and got to wait for and be hyped about and i’d saved enough money that I was able to pre-order it. So the experince of waiting and waiting for the book only to keep seeing it slide back is vivid in my mind as is the frustration I felt having the one thing I COULD NOT WAIT FOR, keep going further and further back. 

So with this long wait and the fact I bought this one when it came out, as I would for the next two which didn’t get delayed thank god, this volume naturally means a lot for me. When I wrote Scott Pilgrim fanfiction, this volume’s status quo is what I based it on. It was the coolest to me and the one I loved to reread the most. It has the most contained story, the most character growth at the time, and the best art due to Bryan’s style having finally hit it’s stride. Not that the art for volumes 1-3 is bad mind you, but it’s very clear his style was changing and shaping into what it is now with each one and while it’d change a bit more, this volume is where the style and quality everyone thinks of when they think of this series and the kind you see on various art done from it comes from. 

So as you can tell i’m excited for this one. Before we get started there WERE two shorter comics released between this one both for Free Comic Book day, the first of which, Free Scott Pilgrim, is the reason I got into the series and the second, the Wonderful World of Kim Pine .. was both delightful and sets up Kim moving in with Hollie for this volume. Originally I intended to cover these in this review.. but I realized they wouldn’t of helped the pacing and this review is going to be way longer than my standard as is.

So instead I came up with the compromise. I did review them.. but as bonus reviews on my patreon. For just one buck a month you can read them and help me reach my stretch goals which now include reviews of Lost at Sea, Seconds and SnotGirl, aka Bryan’s OTHER comics. You can find my patreon THROUGH THIS LINK HERE if your intrested in the exclusives or helping me reach my reviews. I also intend to do an exclusive of Monica Beetle, a short comic Bryan did starring Scott’s dad in the 70s at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that, as well as the three strips he did of Style, the comic that gave us the prototypes for Lisa and Kim. 

I will talk about their connections and setups for this volume briefly: FSP sets up the next ex as a ninja, with Roxy having a bunch of posters come to live and pummel our boy, while Wonderful World has Hollie tell Kim she can move in with her. It’s not much, hence why i made these exclusives but they are good stories, so check them out. And with that JOIN ME UNDER THE CUT, as we enter Scott’s world once more as he grapples with the past, employment, and saying the L-Word... which might be Lesbians. I don’t know. Find out bellow!

So we open Two Months after Volume 3 with a beach birthday party! Complete with Kim in a swim suit!

But it’s for Julie who lobs a volley ball at Scott’s head when he and Ramona try to make out. 

I also dont’ know if “Manfiesting out of all the world’s collectives sorrows” counts as a “birth” necessarily but whatever. I love a good beach story. It’s just a fun setitng for swimming, romance and battling a giant crab with the help of the bird what lives in your backpack.

So after the beach our heroes get dinner and Ramona sweetly calls Scott the nicest guy she’s ever dated. He responds with “That’s sad”. Blunt, but entirely accruate. Julie calls it pathetic and tries to counter Ramona RIGHTFULLY saying “who the hell asked you?” something that really should come after EVERYTHING Julie said with “Back off bitch i’ts my birthday”

So later that night Sex Bomb-Omb has a beach sing along, and I can’t help but notice Neil’s hairy legs. 

I mean yes it does make since for a 19 year old to have leg hair, but of all the characters besides Stephen, the ONLY other character we’ve seen it with to give it to, why the character you specifically single out as “Young” it’s just a weird choice I never noticed before. 

But anyways Julie has to whine about it because she’s Julie, she can’t stand other people being happy and complains the song...

One of my faviorite moments of the series. Knives puts a nicer spin on it, she’s here too and not over with Neil because, as we’ll find out later they broke up, but she just asks if Knives should be drinking. She shouldn’t but for fucks sake lady she was just trying to talk. I also do like that despite Julie trying to control Ramona’s love life, you know the thing the VILLIANS are doing, Ramona cannot stand her now.. and honestly probably never did. 

But Julie, SOMEHOW turns out to be right for once as Kim and Knives have disappeared later that night, and Scott elects to go look for them. Also Ramona says she wants to marry kim while drunk after Julie asks if she does. The throuple is strong with these three... serioulsy that’s my one true pairing for all three now. I mean it ballances out their collective flaws, it’s cute and Ramona is just as into her boyfriends ex as she is her actual boyfriend even when she’s not hamered. Why the fuck not?

Scott instead finds the two making out. I will confess I shipped these two when I was younger.. but I don’t. Not because their gay or anything or because I found another ship for them but because the age gap is still just as wide as it was for Scott. The game did not get this memo and made them a couple which is... ehhhhhhhhh. I mean I wouldn’t mind either being bi, but it just brings up the same problems even if their both hammered. I also question why this scene exists. No really outside of one face punchingly dickish comment from Scott later, this never comes up again and it doesn’t effect Kim’s or Knives character any. Why have this? it’s clearly not fanservice, it’s just a thing that happened. And while Scott Pilgrim as a series does have some of those, as does life and that’s fine.. this is a bit too major, i.e. Kim and Knives, two of the main cast, making out, drunkenly or not, to just.. gloss over you know? I feel Kim would feel majorly guilty for this, as she has the most active moral compass of the main group, and Knives would be massively confused but it’s just.. forgotten because I dunno. In a story that’s otherwise pretty stellar this stands out as an utter waste of potential. I’m not saying have them hook up, gay or not it’s still not better than what Scott did, but have them at least talk about it and have both grow or something from it. Sheesh. 

So we cut to.. another day. Maybe the next day I dunno but it’s August. Point is Scott and Wallace are grocery shopping and Wallace notes they can’t get fancy mayo as their barely in budget. I would’ve glossed over this scene... but @panur​ pointed out back around the Infinite Sadness review that this scene reveals something very intrestng: Scott.. is kind of a fincial burdern to Wallace. Before this while Scott mooched off him it wasn’t all that clear that Wallace was struggling. 

But here we notice that outside of some Havarti, it’s just the simplest stuff imaginable: turkey, bread, boxed mac and cheese ramen noodles... it’s nto BAD stuff, I have all of that in my house and it’s good stuff... but it’s not the kind of thing that you need to carefully budget for. Now granted part of this probably is Wallace as he likely spends a LOT on drinks, condoms and two 2 liters of diet soda a day.. but while he really needs to adress his alcohol issues, the rest is fair. He should be allowed to have as much sex and diet coke as he wants it’s his money. Same with the havarti. He earned it if he wants some really delcious cheese with herbs, seriously Havarati is the best, then that’s his bidness. But the rest of the time he’s barely managing to get  a basketfull of cheap food.. because he has to provide for Scott. It’s clearly something Scott dosen’t get and something I can relate to not getting. It took me a while to get how hard it is to budget for a full family, let alone two people on one income like Wallace has to. But Wallace is working on a nice job... but still a call center or something. He can’t pay for everything and the finccial stress is about to give as their landlord wants to meet with them. And as we’re about to learn things were even worse than we thought. 

Our heroes head home where we get a truly iconic conversation when, over margeritas (again proving my point that while Scott certainly isn’t HELPIGN wallace’s finacials, it’s not all on him)

This will be imporant later.. both the Lesbians part and Scott’s struggle saying it. he tried earlier on the beach but couldn’t get it out and Ramona clearly didn’t want to hear it as she kapt sshhhhing him.. playfully of course but still. 

So some time later it’s moving day! Kim is moving into Hollie and Josephs, and Scott, Stephen and Jason are helping. You might be wondeirng who the hell Jason is. He’s Kim’s boyfriend. I do not likes him. Not because he’s kim’s boyfriend, getting upset because a fictional character you fancy is dating is just patently stupid. I’ts like getting upset a celebrity crush is in a relationship: you had no chance anyway why. I wasn’t even bothered as a kid. I don’t really like him.. because he has no real personaliy and no real baring on the plot and I struggle to think why Bryan included him other than for a really annoying plot twist next time, which does not help my liking him knowing what’s coming. 

But while our heroes help our heroine move in, and Scott is suprised Hollie is there despite Kim having told him a minute ago she was moving in with her, something I can relate to sadly, we get something vitally plot important; Stephen passes Joseph’s room.. and notices he has a small recording setup in his room. Stephen quickly begs him to record the band’s album and Joseph agrees if only because he finds Stephen hot. Eh i’ve seen better relationships start on less, fair enough. And yes I said relationship more on that in a bit. 

So after a brief scene of Scott and Ramona having lunch where Scott fails to know her age and when Ramona says he could just ask.. hea sks and she dosen’t tell, not a bad scene character wise just not very plot important and probably should’ve bene swapped in order with the previous scene, we get to the next day. There’s a heat wave so Wallace orders Scott to go to the mall maybe find a job. He emphasises that. 

Instead Scott just sorta bums around thirst but nto having any money.. until an old face shows up. 

For those who forgot like Scott has, it’s Lisa Miller from the Volume 2 flashback, the girl who had a crush on Scott and was close friends with him and Kim. After a tackle hug  and some panic Scott eventually remembers.... if in a curiously unique and self serving way

At the time this was just hilarous. Now it’s very clear foreshadowing for the big twist in Volume 6. The two catch up while Scott is very clearly attracted to her but very clearly dosen’t want to be, with Lisa wondering where kim is, finding about Ramona, etc, before offering Scott lunch as the two catch up and Scott is very conflicted about how he feels. It’s nice visual stuff as he’s blushing, something more clear in the color version and trying to desperatley sort things out. As for why Lisa’s here she’s moving to the states soon, but is staying with her sister for now. 

So after an incdental scene with Wallace we catch up with Knives, who has broken up with Neil. And after some talk about Clash at the Demonhead, Tamra notes Knives apparently put a big x on her shrine of Scott... which baffles Knifves as she sure as hell didn’t do it and is still, sadly, obessed with Scott as ever. Granted Tamra isn’t at all helpful here claiming she did it even when she says she didn’t, is clearly confused and while yes we don’t know who else would care Tams, that just makes it all the more creepy. Stop gaslighting your bestie, she’s already got enoguh issues. She dosen’t need thinking she might have a split personality on top of the stalking, obession over a guy who has no intrest in loving her back, and attempted stabbings. Knives dosesn’t get a ton of focus in this one sadly. She kind of takes a back seat, and while sh’es not GONE from the volumle and someone close to her does impact it, she dosen’t really have any personal progression, negative or positive, like she does in every other volume, a shame since her personal jouney is one of the most intresting of the main cast. 

Anyways that night Scott hangs out with Lisa, having not gotten around to telling Ramona she exists yet and plays a game of find the Kim Pine. She goes to Neil’ and Stephen’s place for practice, but finds no one there and Neil being a dick... get used to that it’s going to get about 80 times worse soon enough. Though we do get this classic panel i’ve gotten some use out of 

He goes to Kim’s place, but she , Hollie and Satan’s Misterss have all left to Sneaky Dee’s, the local mexican place, for something to eat and Stephen is either high or doing.. something with Joseph. 

Yeah i’m not hiding that Stephen turns out to be gay in the final volume or cheating on Bitch and a Half with Joseph. And even if I hate Julie with the power of a frozen sun, I still dont’ think cheating on her is kosher. He could’ve just broken up with her and while part of it was likely confusion, and he could also be bi and not decided which one he wanted to be with, it’s still a dick move.. and later makes him a hypocrite but that’s a rant for next volume. 

So our heroes FINALLY find Kim, along with Hollie and Mouthface. And a nice thing I like is that Kim and Lisa are just.. increidbly close, happily catching up and making plans to hang before Lisa leaves, that despite Lisa having feelings for Scott the two ended up as close and She and Scott did and i’ts sweet to see. it’s also just.. rare to see Kim GENUINELY happy. I mean look at her

It’s not like she HASN’T smiled across the series but normally she’s just so miserable, likely because her best friends are a grumbly asshole who forces them to hang out with a raging typhoon of bitchiness, and an insenitive asshat who she never got closure with. This is the first decent human being whose not Ramona or Hollie, and that last one’s not going to last, in a while. It’s genuinely sweet to just see her.. enjoy the moment for once, honestly engaged with someone. Ramona shows up and finally meets Lisa, who apparently was on Degrassi.. I mean she says candaian show no one ever watched, and I watched that plenty but i’d like to think she was on there for a season or two. I liked Degrassi.. I honeslty miss it and think it could use some form of revivial and think porting it to netflix was a smart decision.. what wasn’t so smart was not having the other seasons leading into it on there. Need to watch more of it. 

So the next day Ramona stumbles into Scott’s dreams and both are annoyed, with Ramona suggesting he get a job. This finally gets him to try. He asks about Wallace’s work but understandably, he dosen’t really want scott there and asks if he even knows. So Scott sets out to ask his other friends for jobs, while Knives shows up saying she’s “totally not stalking him” but someone is following HER, a mysterious spiky haired dude in a black leather jacket, shades and with a sword on his back. Whu-oh. 

He tries Second Cup, with Julie annoyed that Stephen’s recording.. it’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed because she’s a bitch or because Stephen is both gneuinely annoying right now and clearly screwing around behind her back. My take?

But Scott realizes maybe getting a job at his Sister’s place of work who also works with his arch enemy might be stupid and backs out. He next tries Kim’s, but backs out of that too, admitting to kim it’d be stupid and Kim lists off all the reasons (His lack of resume, the fact them working together would be stresful and his ountain of late fees) why that’d be stupid, but in a jovial way. For once i’ts clear that while she’s still taking the piss out of them she isn’t mad at Scott.

In fact she genuinely helps him get a job, taking him to Stephen’s work since hers is dead right now anyway, a vegan place.  While Scott naturally compares things to a job system as he’d start as dishwasher while Stephen taught him prep, Scott agrees to genuinely take this seriously and Stephen’s boss decides “eh why not” when he asks her to employ him. Scott is gainfully employed baby! God I miss that. Seriously i’m not pimping my patreon for shits and giggles. 

But as he celebrates and Kim wishes she could punch his life in the face, they run into some trouble on the way home: Katana man who slices a motherfucking bus in half and chases them, with Scott reluctnat to fight because he has a sword and Scott does not, which is valid. He does escape though using subspace. He and Kim part awkardly and he returns home to Wallace throwing a party with two intresting charcters, a woman and a man of color, one of the few in the entire work, who are never seen again. 

The next night is practice.. or rather recording, and we start to see Neil get edged out, with him unable to come due to exams and clearly not happy about it, and Stephen just kind of ignoring anything he cares about like the dickhead he is. It dosen’t get any better as “recording” ends up just being Scott, Ramona, and Ratfaced Knacker watching bored with Joseph and Stephen work. Eventaully Scott and Ramona decide to get out of there as things are getting tensed between thing one and thing bitch, and leave.. and take Julie with them for some reason. 

So the three have dinner with Lisa, Kim, and Jason before The Mummies Curse thankfully leaves. Jason thought they were friends. 

We also get this exchange. 

I mean.. she is the better option. She his THE option. But before we can get the obvious answer of 

Stephen comes in with Knives. He smuggled her in. This leads to problems when Scott returns from the bathroom to find Queen Bitch throwing a bitch fit about him having brought her and screechs at her when she dares to talk to him “How do you even know my name?” Well Ted Cruz, you see when someone is an actually thoughtful and likes other people, they keep track of things about them and don’t constnatly tear them down or assume their partneer is automatically bonking a 17 year old instead of you know, actually forming something of a friendship and not shutting her out sensing she needs this friend group. Some people are not vacous piles of vitriol who care about nothing but themself and seem to go off at the slightest thing. 

Scott takes Ramona home but finds a drunken barely awake wallace so no sexy times. Not that he could anyway as the next day is the meeting with Peter their landlord. 

Peter reveals they’ll have to clear out by the 27th as their lease was for one year and their paid up.. as in only the first and last month. The two part melacholy knowing this sucks and isn’t a great situation. Then it’s time for Scott to work work, angelica, work work, eliza and peggy. After grueling day, can relate, he runs into  a wisp on teh wend and steels himself for a fight.. okay he bitches about it being too hot but it’s Scott. so it’s expected. He does get a hit in on his mysterious persuer.. and that’s when we meet Roxy.

Via boob punch, something Scott’s not proud of but in his defense, as Roxy keeps complaning about it, he was blindly struggling for a hit and din’t know the next Ex, or any of them, were female.. not that Ramona didn’t suggest it loudly enough by empahsising “exes” but scott’s a bit of a fuckwit. She mentions “everyone allways remmebers you”.. which is kind of ominus and tells me she tried to hook back up with ramona despite her having a boyfriend and she rejected her. Still on good terms though. But this confusing encounter ends with Roxy vowing she’ll get him next time gadget, next time. 

So we get some assorted slice of life scenes with the band, lisa and what have you as Scott tries to get in touch with Ramona but she keeps avoiding him. THat’s not worrysome at all. And Lisa brings up high school while drunk and clearly hits on Scott. He sidesteps it with her drunkness.. but this clearly isn’t over or going to stop being a problem. 

Speaking of problems Wallace makes Scott confront the truth: He either needs to find a new place to live or commit to staying, though Wallace is trying to nudge him toward asking Ramona to move into her place. Scott starts thinking it over, it being very hard especially since, as Stephen points out this was his very first place of his own.. but Stephen also points out these things are temoporary.. right before Scott ducks from katana guy. 

At work Scott wonders who it could be, though it turns out Stephen’s met him before, as he’s brought his family in here. So he’s PROBABLY not one of the exes.. but it leaves the question why he wants to cut Scott in half like Dewey Cox’s brother. But it turns out he’s nto the only enemy Scott’s casually running into as Roxy is there too.. with Ramona. 

The two talk, clearly about Scott and Lisa with Roxy trying to convince her he’s cheating and Ramona rightfully trusting Scott: while he IS attracted to her, he’s been fighting it every step of the way. Scott storms over to find out what’s going on and while Ramona is more distracted by his new job, she eventually realizes Roxy did attack him and he simply dscribed her poorly when he mentioned the incident over the phone. Scott is confused as he dosen’t get it. Is she with one of the exes what? After some hiinting from both parties, and Roxy rightfully mocking him for not getting the obvious... he finallyg ets it in the grandest way possible. 

So Roxy gets ready to fight and Scott can’t because sword, and gets fired in the background as he hides in Ramona’s bag and Ramona prepares to step in. Roxy screams at her for trusting him and defending him when Ramona.. just dosen’t her boyfriend to be bisected by her ex. A fight insues and a damn cool one at that. I honestly wish the movie had taken more from this, but simply didn’t have time leading it to instead be more like the envy fight with a bit of the Winfried Hailey fight from Free Scott Pilgrim. 

Roxy chases her and Ramona rightly points out Scott can’t run forever but takes him into Subspace.. where Roxy heads them off, having “taught you everything you know bitch” leading to a cool fight in the wintery version of subspace. Again why THIS wasn’t used instead I have no real idea. We also find out she’s a half ninja but she eventually leaves afer Ramona presses that button.. but Rammy is actually apologetic about it and Roxy’s “I hope you and your 24 children are happy together comment” is telling. 

Upon this readthrough of the volume.. I realized Roxy is the most layered and intresting of the exes next to Gideon himself. None of them are out and out terrible, but most of them have pretty simple motives: to kill Scott, ???, profit. Or in Todd’s case to kill scott, bang around and be a dick. But Roxy.. genuinely wants Ramona back. She’s the ONLY one who does: Gideon kinda does, but only in the sense that he wants her for his collection. But Roxy geninely still loves her, admitting so during this fight. And it’s not like she has no chance: out of the 7 exes she’s the ONLY one who parted with Ramona on anything resembling good terms. While intrestingly we don’t find out WHY they broke up, Ramona didn’t cheat on her like she did everyone else she was with. The two have coffee and hang out and Ramona geninely dosen’t even consider until Roxy tries to attack Scott that she’d really try killing him and tries her best to talk her out of it. But what holds Roxy back is her anger: She’s so bitter about the fact Ramona is bi or pan, so dedicated to viewing Ramona’s very orintation as a betryal (though Ramona calling it a phase dosen’t help and the movie RIGHTLY has Roxie comment on it and fly into a rage over it), and so driven to make sure the woman she loves dosen’t get hurt again that it blinds her to the fact Ramona dosen’t love her the same way anymore, and that while Scott is objectively a dick, and a cheater, and a greasy buttcrack pooflap, he is not a terrible person. A meh one sure, but he’s got good to him. She’s so biophobic she simply can’t see he’s a harmless moron.. well harmless to Ramona even with the cheating. He’s killed two people at this point and will kill again. Also she apparently has issues with only being a half ninja but this is never adressed. Point is Roxy’s really grown on me and is now probably my faviorite ex.  

Scott and Ramona talk it over on their way to Sneaky Dees and Scott finally asks to move in and gets a yes. His response is downright adorable. 

So at Sneaky Dee’s Young Neil is just a bit absolutely irate with Scott.. which isn’t fair as them not playing things is entirely on the blocky face asshole. Yell at him.. which he does, pointing out that they haven’t played shows in forever, and that the lady who owns Sneaky Dees not only runs shows, in the upstairs space, but has been asking them to play. Kim is rightly curious about this and to both Stephen just keeps saying “We’re recording right now.” And some of you may of wondered why I hate him. Well while he’s not exctly stellar in the first half in the second Stephen becomes goddman insufferable, slowly destroying the band for his affair and not giving one iota of a shit what anyone else wants. He’s a selfish, egomanical cheating prick. And yes I get it their recording an album.. but doing live shows would give them extra practice, MONEY, even if likely not a lot and exposure for said album. I get professoinal bands stop touring for a bit to do an album but you are not a professional band, and said bands still often iron out the album on the road. God you suck.

But while Scott sidesteps this argument he walks into another where Ramona confronts him about lisa about liking her.. and he rightly says if there was anything, which there was not it’s in the past. And while yes he is a cheater, she does not know this yet. This plot honestly would’ve worked better if she learned about the knives thing sooner, but instead she just comes off as paranoid for listening to Roxy about something that isn’t happening. Yes Scott’s been shown to be attracted to her.. but he’s been ashamed of it, fighting it and in denial about it, and is clealry all in with Ramona. Being attracted to someone else on a phsyical level does NOT mean your relationship is doomed. 

Things get worse as he goes home to ruminate.. and instead sees a man’s Penis. And Wallace..is at his second most unsymapthetic, not letting Scott get a shirt or a bus pass or something like a decent human being for no goddamn reason. Usually when Wallace is a dick to Scott, Scott’s earned it and badly needs a slap in the face. Here he’s just being a prick because.. the plot needs him to? I dunno it dosen’t work for me. It’s in character, I just don’t have to like it. 

So with no other options.. Scott ends up at Lisa’s. And so we get the last temptation of Scott. Lisa admits, embarassed that she’s been wearing sexy dresses and what not specifically to attract him, with Scott also mentioning how things are rough, Lisa tries to fight it herself pointing out he’s with ramona.. and when Scott points out they didn’t do anything in the past Lisa points out they should’ve.. and maybe they should now. 

We fade to black as Scott ends up in a dream and finds Roxy, who naturally has the same skill and tries to Freddy Kruger him before he wakes. He finds Lisa but they didn’t do anything: Scott pushed her away and babbled about how much he loved Ramona instead. As i’ve said.... his heart was never with LIsa... and even when he was so close to giving in he couldn’t. It’s a tangible sign of growth: He screwed around on Knives with Ramona, and given how bad things were getting with Ramona, it would be oh so easy to once again ditch a relationship the minute he found something else and oh so understandable. But... he dosen’t. He loves Ramona even if he hasn’t said it, he wants to make this work, and he’s changed. She’s changed him. He’s not quite a good man yet.. bu he’s getting to be good enough. Love turned him from a skeezy dumbass into a far more loveable dumbass. Ramona’s gotten him to stop dating a teenager (even if again he cheated), face his past with envy to finally move on and now get a job. He’s realized just hwo much she means to his life and world and so he goes to tell her. 

Riggghtttt after going to get his job back and works a shift, with steven wanting to punch his life in the balls. Stephen shut the fuck up. Just because Scott is lucky and your stuck dating satan’s scrotum does not mean you get to punch his life int he balls. Kim does, because he’s put her through more shit but not you. 

He goes to second cup to talk to Stacey.. only to end up at the wrong one where Knives also now has a job... and we finally get an answer to who the mystery katana guy is...

Yup turns out wielding giant weapons in vengance runs in the family. As for how he knows about Scott her aunt mentioned her boyfriend, everyone freaked out and obviously while her mom was mentioned as knowing in volume 1, they did not tell her dad whose brain turned into an engine of vengance and defaced the shrine. While part of it is apparnetly racisim for Scott being white the fact is he clearly saw Scott’s photograph. The guy is 5 years older. I get him being protective. Still dosen’t justify cutting off his head. His balls maybe but not his head. 

And then Scott ran, once agian finding a subspace entracne.. and this time we see inside ramona’s head and well...

Yeah.. that’s.. kind of fucked, and Ramona isn’t happy scott saw that, though she backs down once Scott explains..a nd then gets upset over him staying at Lisa’s but before SCott can tell her he loves her it turns out Roxy stayed over. So yeah, Ramona might of cheated, she tells him to alk it off and he runs around in a psycadelic haze of emtoinal confusion. And meets.. someone new...

Scott snaps out of his funk and ignores his doppleganger heading back for Ramona... whose fighting Mr. Chau. Scott left the door to Ramona’s head open and he followed him through Subspace. Scott lures him into the house and away from her only to run into Roxy. This leads to both of his attackers fighting and her wondering if Gideons ent him “Why does no one ever belivie in me?!” 

She soon realize no i’ts just unrelated and calls Scotto ut on hiding behind not having a sword and behind her being a woman, caling it a flimsy excuse. I mean she’s tring to kil lhim. It’s okay to hit an enemy combatant. Scott realizes he has to stop running... and get real with ramona leading to a truly epic, romantic and heartfelt speech and given how far he’s come and just how heartfelt it is it’s a real sign of how deep he feels. Sure we’ve seen genuine chemstiry between the two.. but htis moment is a shit.. from a simple relationship.. into true love. 

I may of only had a few but Relationships are not easy, They take work, they take time, they take patience and theyt ake love.. but if your willing to work with someone, look past some flaws and help them with the rest.. then it’s worth it. And Scott has finally realized it and for the first time in a while is running TOWARDS something difficult, actually working on this relationship and talking with his partner instead of running finding someone else or wallowing. He’s truly grown up. While he still has miles to go.. he’s taken about 50 steps forward with this. And as such given the kind of unvierse we’re in, as Ramona is genuinely touched by it he levels up a glowing sword with a heart shaped hilt coming out of his chest.. and realizing what’s happening he pulls it out....

So Scott faces off with roxy and in an awesomly short battle, their sords clash.. and he bisects her. 

Scott then honestly talks down Mr Chau who leaves after a nod, and Ramona tells Scott she loves him two. The two make out and all is well.

One make out fades into another, as we cut to Scott moving in with Kim and Blockhead’s help. Well kinda they only had one box but they owed him one. He and wallace comiserate over the end of their time as roomies. They’ll always be friend but it’s truly the end of an era. Also Wallace gets off another bit of dickery as he’’s very glad it all worked out for scott...

 Now there’s the Wallace I know and love. Dickish but just the right loveable kind of douchebag with that swagger. 

Back at Knives house she’s apparenlty into somebody though who I have no idea, Mr Chau give sher his blessing and she.. apparenlty doesen’t know chinese. I dunno. As I said her subplot this go round was her weakest overall. 

And so we end with the whole gang gathered to see Lisa off. It’s a REALLY nice shot, and one of the only times Wallace is seen with the Sex Bomb omb side of the group. Oh sure he goes to their shows and what not, but generally their never in the same vincinity so while there’s no interaction I still find this neat. Seriously the whole main cast is there, it’s a really lovely shot

Also Jason and Hollie.. who are getting awfully chummy. Whu Oh. And of course Craphole and Mouth Face are as likeable as ever. 

So we jsut get a genuinely nice sene. Except Stephen and Julie reconciling. Fuck that. Please move on. And as everyone fondly wishes Lisa adeu and wish she stuck arond the res tof the series we end on Scott and Ramona snuggling, Scott asking her her birthday and finding out she’s 24, and they both will be come september. Scott wishes this moment could last. 

They probperly snuggle as the volume ends on a high. 

Final Thoughts:

Yeah.. Gets it Together is, on rexamination, DEFINTELY my faviorite of the 6. Besides personal value i’ts hte best contained story, contaning lots of character development, great character moments, jokes, and EASILY the best art so far, with goregouness and creativty abounding. 

There is a problem here or there: Stephen and Julie’s subplot feels underbaked, and not just because I hates them, and there are several scenes that don’t further plot or character stuff. Ther’es also stuff that could’ve been expanded on.. but given this is still a pretty meaty graphic novel, it’s understandable why it wasn’t.. though it is why I’d love a streaming series since while the movie is excellent, a full series could expand on stuff from the books more Brian simply didn’t have time for. Knives also didn’t get a lot to do. 

But their drowned out by tons of great decisions: Lisa was a wonderful additoin to the cast and I genuinely wish she’d stuck around, adding in some energy, blending well with the Sex Bomb Omb crowd, and having great dynamics with everyone and her arc with Scott is heartbreaking,knowing she can’t have him but wanting him anyway having never gottne proper closure on the man she’s always wanted. She’s a heartbreaking character and its nice to see her end in a decent place and on good terms with Scott, having let him go for both thier sakes. 

And while Lisa is a highlight everyone is on their a game here for the most part apart from knives, girl hitler, and captain dumbass: Scott grows signfigantly but is funny as hell, Wallace has an intresting arc trying to nudge Scott out without being overt about it, scared to really confront him, Kim is in a happy and serene place for once and it shows. The villians are also intresting: While Mr Chau is a tad underbaked, he’s sitll a cool imposing presence. I do think he shoudl’ve had more to do with the plot.. but is still just so freaking cool it papers over that and him just.. disappearing after this like poor Lisa. 

Roxy is far more intresting, having clearly more going on than we see and while I wish we’d got her backstory, she’s easily the most engaging of the exes, being the only one to actively compete with Scott (All her and ramona end up doing is making out a little it turned out), and have bigger stakes than just “The glasses wearing douche asked me to beat up my exes boyfriend and I was like alright. 

All in all Gets it Together is really magical, the series high point, and just damn fun and it was a pleasure to go through

Next Month on Scott Pilgrim: It all falls down as we take a look into what once was my least faviorite Album, vs the unvierse. Two perfect assholes try and murder scott with Robutts, his relationship and band crumble and things get sad so very very sad. 

Next on this blog: More LIlo and Stitch! The Proud Family come to Kauai and get into a fight with our heroes. Also wizard kelly... who if nothing else is now far more tolerable now i’ve had to spend another volume with the wicked bitch of the west. Touche universe touche. See you at the next rainbow. 

[husbandograveyard]

A break - Mihawk x Reader

One Piece of summer challenge - week 4

part of the challenge hosted by @doctorgerth​ & @laws-yellow-submarine​ I’m attempting all 11 weeks, 11 different prompts and 11 different characters! Enjoy!  I’m gonna insert a cut since this thing is SO LONG. But I kind of loved writing it, I hope you all enjoy some romance with our favorite mystery goth pirate! 

Prompt: Flowers - Character: Mihawk - Word count: 2.3k 

It was summer. And yet.There was not a glimmer of sun to be seen. You looked out of the window: dead trees, some not so dead trees, a dark grey sky filled with thick clouds in the middle of the day... it was quite a depressive sight. Kuraigana island wasn’t really the most beautiful island. It was calm, surely, it was quiet, and you and your husband were never interrupted by other people, which was amazing, you had all the privacy and quality time you could ever ask for. But sometimes, you just really wanted something else than grey to look over whenever you were having a bad day. 

“Something wrong love?” a strong arm wrapped around your waist from behind, and you inhaled the familiar and comforting scent of your other half. You must’ve been staring out of the window for a longer period than you thought you did.  “No”, you sighed, “it’s just...”  He didn’t reply, waiting for you to continue what you wanted to say.  “It’s just...summer outside, but there is never summer on this island? Don’t get me wrong love, I love this place and all the opportunities it’s given us, but... sometimes I miss the sun, the green grass... flowers... all the bright things from... home.” 

At the end of your sentence you had gone a little more quiet, not wanting Mihawk to think that you did not consider Kuraigana home. After all, home to you now was wherever he was, and wherever you could be with him. But that didn’t take away from your statement that you missed the feeling of warm sun on your skin, of the grass tickling at your ankles and the smell of flowers when they started to bloom in spring, all the way into summer. 

He hummed in response, not really engaging in the conversation about his gloomy island. He was well aware of the atmosphere that came with it, but was never really bothered by it. He had seen plenty of the world in his younger years, and could still go wherever he wanted, if he wanted to do so, he just hadn’t really thought about the possible effects of his living space on you, his wife. 

You decided to change topic before he could even add onto the conversation, turning around in his arms and giving him a quick kiss on the lips.  “My turn to make dinner right? Give me a few moments”.  You started making your way to the kitchen hearing familiar footsteps follow you.  “I will help”. 

Taking turns to cook dinner, occasionally cooking together, and always eating together was part of your routine, and it was one of the things that helped you settle in so easily with Mihawk. He was a man of routine and predictability. Something not everyone would appreciate that much, but for you it brought peace of mind and way less stress. No surprises to anticipate, nothing to worry about. So as you started to chop some vegetables and Mihawk started to cook some meat, the worries from before started slipping from your mind, too focused on how happy you actually were right here, as long as he was by your side. 

After dinner you continued your usual routine, drinking some wine and enjoying a good book in each other’s company, before you retreated to your shared bedroom. Mihawk stayed up a little longer but promised to join you a little later. 

You had fallen asleep before he joined you, and when you woke up, much to your dismay, you found yourself alone in the bed. You were a little surprised, it was not unusual for Mihawk to be up earlier, but he’d normally bring a book and read some until you woke up so you could cuddle up a little. The very rare occasion he’d be up earlier, he usually let you know beforehand. 

You got up and got dressed, looking for your husband in the kitchen, the dining room, the library, his study... he was nowhere to be seen. You were almost getting worried when you suddenly heard the familiar heavy noise of the front doors opening and closing. There he was, all decked out in his outside clothes, and you could only look at him in confusion. 

“Oh I am sorry”, he said, as he greeted you with a good morning kiss, “did I wake you?” “No... I just woke up all by myself and I was looking for you... I didn’t know you were going outside.” “I’m sorry, I had to prepare for something.” He took off his coat, draping it over his arm and taking it with him as he started walking towards the kitchen. “Breakfast?”

You nodded. “Preparing for something?” A small smile appeared on his lips. “Yes”.   He didn’t elaborate further, not even after you nudged his arm, encouraging him to speak more, and just started preparing breakfast.  “Mihawk?” “Yes dear?”  His tone was so normal and nonchalant that you were almost ready to break an egg on his hat, seeing a mischievous glint in his eyes that he almost never had. 

“What are you hiding?”  “Nothing much” “So something”  “Patience. After breakfast.”  You could only groan in response, and continued making breakfast as fast as possible, afterwards nearly inhaling the result, much to Mihawk’s amusement who was taking his sweet time eating.  “No use in rushing, we’ll be too early like that.”  Now you were really confused. Just what was he planning? 

Your questions were finally answered when he told you to take your coat after breakfast. You were going on a little trip. The destination still a secret, and you figured that there was no use in guessing. You were already kind of excited. You got to go off the island for a bit, and it had been a good amount of time since you went on any kind of trip with Mihawk. He said it was only a day trip, so you figured that you’d know soon enough where you were going. 

The trip itself was rather uneventful. Mihawk’s coffin-shaped boat was really not built for two people, but ever since the two of you had started dating seriously, Mihawk had it modified so you could have a comfortable seat as well, although you generally preferred to just sit close to him. The sea was dark and a little rough in the immediate vicinity of the island, but after a while you noticed you were entering calmer waters, the grey clouds and sky slowly transforming into white puffy clouds in a bright blue sky, with a sun that made your skin tingle a little bit and was reflected by the water, as if someone had sprinkled the smallest diamonds all over the sea. 

At that point, it didn’t really matter anymore where you were going, you were already so happy to experience the sun and the blue sky as a true part of summer, looking around you and seeing some fish swim in the incredibly clear water around the boat, not even noticing how Mihawk was watching your almost childlike enthusiasm and amazement with a small smile on his face. 

“We’re almost there” You looked up, surprised at the sudden sound of your husband’s voice interrupting the soothing sounds of the waves and the seagulls high above you.  In the distance you could see a small island, and for a little while you weren’t sure if you were still so far away that it seemed extremely small and inhabited, or if it was just really that small. 

The answer was the latter. The beach was only a few feet far before the sand already transformed into the darker ground of a forest floor. The trees were completely different from the ones you saw daily on Kuraigana, all shades of green on top of all shades of brown, flashes of colorful birds singing various songs on the branches. Your mouth was wide open in amazement. You hadn’t even properly walked around and this island was already more beautiful than any other place you had visited before. 

After securing the boat, Mihawk wrapped an arm around your waist, gently guiding you through the forest. Neither of you said a word. You were too busy admiring the sights and taking in the fresh air, the sounds of the animals and enjoying the feeling of the sun on your skin wherever it managed to find it’s way through the tree foliage, and Mihawk was just relaxing, enjoying your little sounds of surprise and enthusiastic gasps. 

After a little while of walking, you started to wonder whether you were just exploring the island or if Mihawk had an actual goal in mind, he seemed just a little too determined to go in certain directions, and you had no problem just following him wherever he guided you, after all you assumed he knew this place, and the forest seemed so undisturbed there was no clear path anyway. Your suspicions of a goal were confirmed as you suddenly felt the sun hit your eyes as you reached an open space, you assumed somewhere in the middle of the forest. 

You closed your eyes for a bit, and opened them slowly, letting them adjust to the harsh summer light after walking in the cool shade of the threes. Then you had to slowly blink, at least five times, to really believe what you were seeing: a small field of flowers of all kinds of colors and shapes. Familiar flowers that you recognized from home, but also colorful exotic species that you had never seen before. High grass, a sea of green, with spots of yellow, red, blue, purple, pink, orange, you name it. Butterflies and bees as well as tiny birds flying around.. the sight was just breathtaking, you actually slapped your own face gently to snap yourself out of your almost trance like state. You heard your husband chuckle next to you. 

“Was this what you had in mind when you wished for a more summery sight?”  You couldn’t even form the words in your brain for what you wanted to say, nodding frantically in response, forgetting all gentle manners and flying around his neck, causing him to almost stumble and wrap his arms around you tightly to make sure the two of you fell onto the ground. He could make out a muffled ‘thank you’ with your face pressed against his shoulder and lovingly pat your back in response.  

After you let go, you gave him a quick kiss on the lips before returning your focus on the wonderful flower field behind you. He found a nice spot in the shade, and sat down with a book he had brought along, while you walked around the field, picking some of the flowers and making a flower crown out of them, some of your fondest childhood memories coming back as your hands skillfully braided the flower stems. You watched the butterflies, giggling as one landed on your hand for a bit, and determined which flower smelled the sweetest. You picked some more and formed a nice bouquet to take home, it would look lovely on the dinner table. 

It was almost getting dark when you heard Mihawk closing his book, calling your name to return home. You felt sad you had to leave, but you were also getting a little hungry, and going back home in complete darkness wasn’t ideal either. Flower crown on your head and bouquet in hand, you walked back to your husband and placed a kiss on his cheek as he wrapped his arm around your waist again.  “Thank you so much... It was nice to experience some summer.”  “If you ever have something like that bothering you again, you just have to tell me y/n...”  “Don’t worry... I will” 

The trip back was just as uneventful as the way to the island, and you felt your heart sink a little bit at seeing Kuraigana again. Looking at the bouquet in your hands made you feel better though, and you promised yourself that even if after those flowers withered, you’d keep the memories of today in your heart for forever. 

The moment you actually arrived home, you immediately grabbed a nice vase to place the flowers in and set them on the dinner table, smiling at how well they fitted in and yet made the room just a little bit more summer-y. You noticed Mihawk grabbing some very thick books and setting them on a separate table as you grabbed ingredients to start making dinner.  “What are you doing dear?” you set the ingredients down and walked over to him. He lifted one of the books so you could see. One of the exotic flowers from the island was being flattened by the weight of the books, perfectly laid down to not be smushed, so it could dry beautifully.  You couldn’t help but smile widely. “You picked flowers?”  “A few, to remember the trip by. We can go back more often, but the flowers only bloom for a short amount of time. That’s what I had to look up yesterday.”  You hummed in response as he continued to explain.  “So I figured we could bring a little summer to this grey island for you, and make sure it doesn’t die,” he continued, gesturing at the flowers you had set on the table. You looked over at the piles of books.  “Just how many did you bring?”  “Eight, one for each year...”  “... we’ve been married” you added with a smile. With his usual cold demeanor you’d nearly forget how romantic this man could be. You leaned in to kiss him slowly, and turned back to your ingredients after. 

“I’ll make us a special dinner, in celebration of an actual summer together.” 

[jejecchi]

for i can't help—

series. ikemen vampire pairing. arthur/mc

Arthur was on his way to fetch a cup of (very late) morning coffee when he heard a quiet singing voice from the kitchen amidst the sound of running water. It didn't take a detective to figure out who's singing, since she's the only one who could do so at that pitch, being the only female in the mansion.

"Wise men say

Only fools rush in.

But I can't help

Falling in love with you."

The writer peeked into the kitchen, taking care not to make a sound and startle her. Her feet were shuffling lightly, making her body sway left and right like she's engaging in a slow waltz. A smile was spread on her face as more words spilled out from her lips, stringing them together into a melody.

"Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin?

If I can't help

Falling in love with you."

Her voice was not the best out there, sure, but there's something comforting about it. He found himself relaxing against the wall, forgetting about his need for coffee.

"Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be—"

She turned off the water knob and spun around, and let out the most dramatic shriek he ever saw when she laid her eyes on him. Lovely crimson splashed her cheeks, and he immediately remembered he hadn't had his portion of Rouge for the day.

"Arthur?! How long— Did you—"

Her mouth changed into various shapes in a blink of an eye as she threw numerous unfinished questions at him. It was pretty comical that he couldn't help but snorted.

"Relax, Bird. You're good, and I don't say that as an apology for sneaking into your private concert," he said with an easy smile, finally stepping into the kitchen. "Can I have a cup of coffee?"

"Ah, I haven't made a new batch—"

"That's fine. I'll wait here until it's ready." Arthur plopped down onto the kitchen chair, a teasing smirk on his face.

"... Why don't you wait in your room? I'll bring it to you later."

"And miss the golden seat for your performance?" Leaning on the table, the writer set his knuckles against his chin. "I don't think so, my darling."

She visibly rolled her eyes, though her still red face told her embarrassment very well. "I won't sing again."

"What was that song, anyway? Is it a popular song from your time?"

Her maroon skirt swirled slightly against her thighs as she turned around to prepare the water. "Yeah, it's very popular. It's actually a very old song, but I don't think it's out yet in this time."

Arthur hummed thoughtfully, tapping the table with his finger, watching her grinding the beans. "What's the title?"

"Can't Help Falling in Love. It's by... Elvis Presley, I think."

"Huh. I wonder who's on your mind as you sing that."

The rustling of coffee filter almost drowned her answer, but it's still audible enough for him to hear it. "... As if there's any doubt."

She immediately relaxed against his chest when he sneaked his arms around her waist, and fireworks bloomed inside his ribcage, threatening to burst his chest open.

"The song isn't over yet, is it?"

Her silence gave him the answer. Chuckling, he placed his forehead on her shoulder. "Don't you want to finish it?"

"No."

"Aw, come on, Dear." He rocked their bodies together slowly from side to side. "For me, please? I really want to hear it."

It took her five seconds to let out a sigh and relented.

.

.

.

That memory seemed like a dream he just had yesterday, but standing in front of the gray stone with her name carved onto it, he's more than aware of the passage of time.

The petals of forget-me-not bouquet he brought her swayed following the wind as he placed it by the grave. From his pocket he took out a music box and turned the key, watching the dog figure spun with the rhythm.

"I found another Vic music box," Arthur chuckled. "And it plays Can't Help Falling in Love, too. You're right, it's very popular. It's only been weeks since the song first came out, but they're already making a music box with it."

One tear betrayed his smile as he closed his eyes and listened to the melodious tingles of the song he held so dear to his heart, fingers curling in futile hope to catch her warmth once again. And it almost felt like she's there, as he remembered her sweet voice, singing to him,

"So take my hand

Take my whole life too.

For I can't help

Falling in love with you."

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): Before His Birth, His Birth and His Childhood

The Event of the Elephant

It was soon before the birth of the Sun of the Universe (PBUH). People were flooding into the Kaba during Hajj season from all over the region.

The fact that the Kaba was filled with plenty of people disturbed some people. One of those resenting it was Abraha Ashram, the governor of Yemen of the Abyssinian ruler at the time.

In order to prevent the rush of people into the Kaba, Abraha had a church built called Qulleys in the city of San’a with the aid of Byzantium emperor. He went to all the expense of decorating inside with gold and silver. The outer side of it was decked out with extremely precious jewels that he had brought from various places. It was so much so that the church he had built had no match anywhere else!

Abraha was planning to attract people’s attention into here with all this ornament and embellishment. So, in the end, he was thinking of breaking the favor people hugely had with Kaba.

After the building of the church was completed, Abraha wrote a letter to the Abyssinian ruler to gain his approval further. In the letter, he wrote:

“I have had a church built for you such that neither Arabs nor Farsis have ever made something alike. I shall never halt unless I make here a place for Arabs’ pilgrimage.” 

However, all the expenses and efforts of Abraha came to nothing. Many people came to see the unique embellishment and gorgeous structure of the church. They came but only to see its beauty. The number of people visiting the Kaba did not diminish but increased.

The Fouling of Qulleys and Abraha’s Decision

That Abraha had a magnificent church built to alienate people from the Kaba was heard by the Arabs as well. In the meanwhile, someone named Nawfal from the Qinana tribe had made up his mind to foil this church. At one midnight, he went to the church foiling inside and outside of it and then turning back where he came from.

This incident exasperated Abraha further, who already flew into a rage with the fact that people still favored the Kaba. On learning that the one who foiled the church was an Arab, he swore with fury by saying; “Arabs did it since I made some of them turn away from their Kaba. So I shall raze it to the ground.” Then he prepared to advance towards Mecca with the intention of tearing the Kaba down. He asked the Negus of Abyssinia for the famous elephant, Mahmoud, to be given to him. The Negus met the demand of the Negus and sent him the elephant, which was then matchless in terms of size and power in the world. 

Abraha prepared his army and set off toward Makkah.

He started to proceed to Makkah with the elephant called Mahmud in front of the army.

Meanwhile some Arab tribes opposed that big army but they could not succeed in stopping them; they were defeated by Abraha.

When Abraha came somewhere named Mogammish near Mecca, he sent a group of cavalry to spearhead the attack.

Cavalrymen made their way into Mecca and extorted the herds of the Quraishians and Tikhamese, including two hundred camels of Abdulmuttalib, the grandfather of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). 

At that time Abdulmuttalib was the head of the Quraish tribe.

Abraha and Abdulmuttalib

Abraha sent an envoy to the Quraishians to deliver his message:

“I am not here to fight you, but to tear the Kaba down. If you do not resist me, I shall not shed your blood. Let the chief of the Quraish tribe come to me if he does not want me to fight against him.” 

Abdulmuttalib’s answer to the envoy was as follows:

“We swear by God that we do not want to fight him. We are not capable of that anyway. The Kaba is not ours but it is God Almighty’s. Only God Almighty can protect it from being ruined. If He shall not protect His holy home, we have no power to dissuade Abraha from his attack.” 

After this talk, Abdulmuttalib and the envoy went to Abraha.

Abdulmuttalib had an imposing appearance. Abraha felt an involuntary respect toward him. He treated him as an honorable guest and asked him what his wish was.

Abdulmuttalib stated his wish: “Your men took my two hundred camels. My wish is that they be returned to me.”

Abraha did not like it and spoke mockingly; “When I saw you, I thought you of being an important man; I soon realized that you are not so when you started to speak! I am here to demolish the Kaba which is your and your forefathers’ temple. You are not talking about that but you are thinking of your two hundred camels.”

Abdulmuttalib spoke recklessly; “I possess my own camels; the Kaba has its owner and protector. He is sure to protect it.”

“Nobody can protect it!” Abraha shouted.

Abdulmuttalib replied calmly; “I am not interested in that; this is between you and Him!” 

After this conversation, Abraha gave Abdulmuttalib’s camels back. Later on Abdulmuttalib left there and came back home in Mecca and told the Quraishians all about what had happened. Besides, he put on a mark on his two hundred camels to be sacrificed to God.

Mecca is evacuated

Abdulmuttalib recommended the folks to evacuate Mecca to protect themselves from the cruelty and oppression of Abraha and his army. He went to the Kaba with a couple of people with himself. He clung on to the door handle of the Kaba and prayed; “O my Lord! Even your servants protect their homes. You protect your own home too so that this army may not come out victorious.” 

Mecca was evacuated. The natives began to take shelter on mountain hills and solitary places and to wait what Abraha and his army will do.

Everyone was worried about what was going to happen.

The Army is Ready, But…

It was the morning of the following day.

All the preparations were completed in the army of Abraha that was about to destroy the Kaba. The army was waiting for the order of “March!”

The year was 571, seventeenth of the month of Muharram, on Sunday.

At the moment the army was to move, a man named Nufail Bin Habib, who then acted as a guide to Abraha, bent down to whisper into the ears of the great elephant Mahmoud:

“Mahmoud! Kneel down! Turn back where you come from without being hurt. You are in a place where God Almighty deems holy.” 

After he whispered those words into the ears of Mahmoud, he ran away to take shelter in a mountain.

After Nufail’s words, the huge elephant suddenly knelt down.

They resorted to any ways to make it get up, but all was in vain. When they directed it to Yemen, to Damascus, or to the eastern side, he was running; but when they direct it to Mecca, it kept kneeling down as if it had no power to run. 

At the moment when everybody was astonished at this sight, God Almighty sent the birds against the Abraha army called Ababel (goatsucker) from the other side of the sea.

Each of those birds was leaving from above three small stones as big as chickpea to the army. Every soldier to whom those stones hit immediately was severely wounded and died. 

The soldiers who met with the bombardment of stones were petrified with fear. The area was filled with men and animals lying around dead or wounded. Those who were hit with no stones started to flee around. Abraha was among them. But he, too, soon died because of a wound made to his body by a stone. 

Mahmoud, the elephant, survived due to its refusal to march into Mecca.

Having perished the army of Abraha with stone-carrying birds, God Almighty cleaned the area with rain, which later dragged the bodies into the sea. 

God Almighty informs of this event in the Holy Qur’an.

“Have you considered how your Lord dealt with the people of the Elephant? Did He not bring their evil scheme to nothing? He sent down upon them flocks of birds (unknown in the land), Shooting them with bullet-like stones of baked clay (an emblem of the punishment due to them), And so He rendered them like a field of grain devoured and trampled.” (Al-Fil Surah, 105:1-5) 

This event was a proof to Muhammad’s (PBUH) prophethood. Because, God Almighty saved his future homeland and the place he was to turn his face towards from Abraha’s army before he was born.

The mercy and wisdom of God Almighty would not and did not let the Abraha’s army destroy this honorable place out of His love to His Beloved Prophet (PBUH).

[avantegarda]

The Other Grandfather

Hey @bluedancingkittykat I’m your Secret Santa for the Discord gift exchange! Please enjoy wee Elladan and Elrohir having a strange Yuletide visitor.

And @princess-faelivrin thanks for organizing this babe

At the age of twenty, Elladan and Elrohir considered themselves much too old for excessive excitement over the Midwinter festival. Certainly, the greenery hung around Imladris’ Great Hall was very pretty, but hardly anything to make a fuss over. And the various pies and pastries whose scents wafted out of the kitchens might have smelled delicious, but they weren’t what a soldier ate.

Still, no one could fault the twins for getting excited about having guests. And there were always loads of interesting people visiting Imladris during the midwinter season. Their grandparents always came from Lothlorien with the most wonderful presents imaginable, there were usually a few interesting human diplomats hanging about, and even the mysterious Mithrandir himself would occasionally show up with fireworks.

The person who Elrond introduced them to the day before the solstice feast, however, was not exactly the sort of guest the twins were accustomed to seeing. For one thing, he arrived neither on horseback nor in a carriage, and received no formal announcement. Instead, Elrond simply brought him into the boys’ playroom and announced the arrival of a visitor.

“Boys,” said Elrond briskly, as though there were nothing at all unusual about the situation. “This is your grandfather.”

Elladan frowned suspiciously. “No it isn’t.”

“We’ve already got two grandfathers,” Elrohir put in. “Grandfather Celeborn got here two days ago and Grandfather Earendil is too busy being a star to come visit. No offense,” he added quickly, nodding at the stranger. 

“None taken,” the stranger replied, his low, musical voice betraying just a hint of amusement. “And you are quite correct, I technically am not your grandfather by blood.”

“But really, boys, I’m surprised you’ve forgotten the stories I’ve told you,” said Elrond. “This is your other grandfather, the one who looked after me when my parents left. Your grandfather Maglor.”

“Ohh,” Elladan and Elrohir chorused, eyes wide. They weren’t forgetful babies; of course they remembered Elrond’s stories about his unusual upbringing and the people who’d raised him. But Elrond had always described his foster-father as a brave warrior and brilliant musician, and a prince at that. Whereas the person they were meeting now looked...well. Haggard was putting it nicely. His gray cloak and brown satchel were both heavily patched, and his dark curls vaguely resembled a bird’s nest.

Sensing that no more polite greetings were coming from the twins, Elrond shook his head fondly. “Anyway. Father, these are my children; Elladan on the left, and Elrohir on the right. You may, of course, refer to me if you need any clarification about which is which.”

“I don’t imagine it will take me long to sort it out,” said Maglor, giving the boys a wink. “I always was rather good at telling twins apart.”

--

“So where have you been for the last few years?” Elrond asked, as the family settled in their private sitting room that evening. Outside, the snow was still falling steadily, coating the valley with a glittering sheet of white powder...with any luck, the twins agreed, the snow would be the right consistency for a snowball fight the next day.

“We haven’t seen you since the twins were babies,” said Celebrian. “In fact, we were starting to get a bit worried about you.”

“Oh, you know. I’ve been here and there,” Maglor said vaguely. “Down south for a bit, mainly in Harad. Interesting country, that. They do some marvelous things with beans. As it happens, I picked up some gifts for the children while I was down there. May I?” At Elrond and Celebrian’s nods, he reached into his satchel and pulled out two small bundles, wrapped in colorfully patterned cloth. “There you are, boys. A couple of early-Midwinter presents for you.”

“Oh!” Elladan exclaimed, eagerly unwrapping his gift and pulling out a small dagger with an exquisitely carved wooden handle, its blade wrapped in a soft leather sheath. “Look, Mother, a knife! And Elrohir got one too!”

“Those are ceremonial daggers that many Haradrim boys receive when they are ten years old,” said Maglor. “Symbolizing maturity. And, of course, they are completely blunt,” he added, shooting a wink at Elrond and Celebrian’s concerned frowns. “Couldn’t cut anything with that except butter.”

“And if I catch you boys sneaking down to the armory to get them sharpened you won’t have any butter on your bread for a year,” Elrond said sternly. “But that’s kind of you, Father. It certainly wasn’t necessary for you to bring any gifts.”

“Nonsense! What else are grandparents for? And I got you something too, of course. Well, not a thing, exactly. A song.” Reaching once again into his satchel, Maglor extracted a battered old fiddle. “Feel free to sing along if you know the words. I wrote this one centuries back.”

At their age, Elladan and Elrohir were hardly seasoned music critics. This, however, did not prevent them from being aware that what they were hearing was extraordinary. --

In keeping with tradition, Elladan and Elrohir awoke at the crack of dawn on the day of the winter solstice, immediately hurrying to wake their parents. 

“Where’s Grandfather Maglor?” asked Elladan eagerly, bouncing up and down on his father’s feet. “Can we wake him up too? I want him to come play outside with us.”

Elrond’s face fell, and he shook his head sorrowfully. “I’m sorry, boys. Your grandfather had to leave earlier this morning.”

“He did? Why?”

“As it happens, he left you a letter. Hopefully he’ll explain himself.”

Dear Elladan and Elrohir,

I am truly sorry that I must leave before today’s celebration. As your father may have explained to you, I made many mistakes in my past, and as a result there are many people in Imladris (including your grandmother) who would be very upset to see me at a party. Leaving early is really the best solution for everyone.

I want to let you know, however, how much I have enjoyed seeing you again. The last time I was in Imladris you were tiny babies, and it’s extraordinary to see how much you’ve grown. You are wonderful, brave, clever children and I can easily understand why your parents are so proud of you.

With love and hope for a bright New Year,

Your grandfather Maglor

PS: The next time I see you, I promise I will tell you the story of the time I met a sea serpent.

“Well,” said Elrohir, when the two boys had finished reading.”I still say it’s too bad he couldn’t stay.”

“But if Grandmother Galadriel was going to be angry with him I understand why he left,” said Elladan. “She’s scary when she’s angry.”

“What does he mean by mistakes?” asked Elrohir. “You haven’t told us very many stories about that.”

Elrond glanced hesitantly at Celebrian, who shook her head. “That’s not a good story for a holiday,” she said firmly. “We’ll talk about it another time. For now, who’s ready for a snowball fight?”

Elladan whooped in delight and leapt off the bed, while Elrohir remained behind, looking up at his father with concerned eyes. “Is Grandfather going to come back?” he asked. “I mean, he’s not gone forever, is he?”

With a fond chuckle, Elrond patted his son on the head. “No, my dear, he’s not gone forever. He’ll be back one of these days. He doesn’t exactly stick to a schedule...but he’ll be back.”

[winters-tales]

The Lease

[ This is an excerpt from a completed commission; if you're interested in commissioning a piece from me, you can find my prices in the "About" section of this page!]

File 23

Codename: Leaseholder

Following an anonymous tip, an investigation has been opened into an individual known as “Detective Nemed”; at the time of writing, she has been missing for 4 days. No other information is currently known about this “Detective” – she is certainly not a certified law enforcement agent in any of the countries she has visited, however, she seems to have managed to provide convincing enough credentials to avoid rousing suspicions.

The anonymous tip came in 4 days ago, 11th July 2019, at 4:34AM, and declared that there was a mentally disturbed individual that needed assistance; the caller expressed concern that the resident of a particular flat was at risk of self-injury, and police and paramedics were dispatched.

On arrival there was no answer, despite lights being visible in the flat. The door was breached, and a search of the premises conducted. When it became apparent that no-one was present and no lives were at risk, the paramedics were dismissed, the police were stood down, and the Missing Persons unit was brought in.

Initial investigations show that the “Detective” has gathered a total of sixty-eight (68) interviews, however not all of these recordings seem to be relevant to whatever she was looking into. A lot of investigative work seems to have gone into whatever Nemed was looking into, with the walls covered in newspaper clippings, as well as various historical records spanning the last 200 years or so. Nemed seems to have found links between a great many of these events, although what that link is will need more investigation.

One unusual detail is the presence of post-it notes throughout the flat; many of them were labelled as if addressing an outsider, rather than the person who left the post-it notes. For example, one post-it on the door of Nemed’s office stated “In here.” On entering, the most visible post-it on Nemed’s computer read “Start here. Password: Leaseholders.”

It is suspected that the anonymous tip may have been Nemed herself, wanting us to find her work.

On her computer, she had set up a folder marked “For you – first steps.” In it were a series of recorded interviews, complete with written transcripts and personal notes of the interview experience.

Two interview transcripts that were earmarked in this way follow; the rest are logged within the file and follow much the same direction.

*

Interview 1

“Interview with Dr Solveig Hel- Helgis-”

“Helgisdottir, Detective. Hard “g” sound. It’s Icelandic, I understand your difficulty. Call me Solveig if it’s easier.”

“Thank you, Solveig. Interview begins at 14:35 local time, date 15th March 2019.” There is a pause on the tape, a brief exhalation before I get started. “Why did you blow up the oil rig?”

“Starting with the big one first? Sure. But you won’t believe me.” The Icelandic voice is soft and faintly amused, the accent sounding so gentle against the backdrop of silence. She didn’t suit the prison uniform she was in at all.

“We’ve got to start somewhere.” My own accent sounds harsh next to hers as I play the tape back, even though I remember being just as calm as she was.  

“As you insist.” Did she shrug at this point? I can’t remember if she shrugged or just smiled. And try as I might, even though I know what’s coming, the next words send a chill into my soul.

“The Leviathan told me to.”

The sound of me choking on my coffee is an undignified one that I wish the recorder hadn’t picked up.

“I am a marine biologist, Detective; part of an arctic diving team. We research the impact pollution is having on marine life in the artic. It’s cold, and it’s dangerous, but it’s fascinating. I love my job, and yet seeing what is happening to the world horrifies and saddens me. Emaciated polar bears, whales that choke on the sheer volume of plastic in the fish they feed on, seals and sea lions successfully raising fewer and fewer pups each year… it’s heart-breaking. And the worst part was the oil rig.

“Spillages from offshore oil rigs are inevitable. They occur with regularity but the spills are small enough in volume that they don’t get reported on by mainstream media; media only seems to care if spills are the size of the one that occurred in the Gulf of Mexico, and anything below that is not considered newsworthy.

“They’re newsworthy to me, detective; each and every one. When you’ve cleaned the feathers of as many birds as I have, only to see them drowned in the oil the next week, you get frustrated.”

“Sure, I get that.” I was so confused, I remember. She’s a respected marine biologist, not a terrorist. “But why not join a Greenpeace protest, or write to the company, or governing bodies? Why blow it up?”

“I told you: The Leviathan told me to.”

“Ok, I’ll bite: what’s the Leviathan?”

“Commonly used in the biblical sense, a leviathan is a large sea creature whose size dwarfs that of the larger aquatic species like whales.” You can definitely hear her smiling now; I thought she was making fun of me but listening back, it’s more likely she was stalling, hoping to not have to tell the rest.

“Funny.” I wince; way too acerbic and frustrated, far too soon. I should know better. “I know what it means, what I want to know is: is the Leviathan a new terrorist group? An offshoot of an existing one, perhaps? What incited you to an act of terrorism?”

Now it’s her turn to sigh, and there’s an almost imperceptible creak as she leans forward in her chair.

“It’s not a terrorist group, or an extremist offshoot. You won’t believe me, but I’ll try anyway. If I tell enough people, someone will believe me eventually.”

Again the chills, but this time it’s because I know what’s coming. This isn’t the first time I’ve played this back.

“I was diving again; one of the team had spotted something on her dive that looked like an oarfish, but here in the arctic we’re far too cold for them. But she was out of diving time so I went in to have a look and see if it was definitely an oarfish, or something else she’d mistaken for one.”

“What did you think it could have been?”

“Something long and snake-like? Potentially the tentacles of a giant or colossal squid – I was a little excited, they are very elusive and I’d not seen one in the wild before. And if there are giant squid in the area, there are probably sperm whales nearby as well. So down I went.

“I had my light, and my torch, and my camera – the local police confiscated the footage, but I can give you the name of a colleague who has a copy so you can watch it for yourself – and I kept a careful eye on how deep I was going. The decompression chamber is not a fun place to be.”

She pauses.

“May I have a drink? Coffee if possible, or tea? Just not water.”

The tape recorder picks up the scrape of my chair, the distant sound of me opening the interview room door, and barely captures the sound of me requesting a hot drink.

And then the background noise stops, and the whispering starts.

It’s her voice, and it sounds like she’s pressed right up against the tape recorder. I know she isn’t; I remember opening the door, asking for the drink, turning around, and she hadn’t moved from her position at the table.

But the tape recorder is now spewing out whispers that flat-out didn’t happen in the interview, words that spill out with such a sense of urgency there’s no pause for breath.

The first time I listened to the tape I thought I’d recorded over the interview somehow, and by the time I realised what I was hearing and started scrambling to find a pen and paper for transcribing, the whispering had ended. This time I’m ready. The second recorder is running, my pen scribbling furiously to keep up where I can.

As suddenly as it starts, it’s over, and that tell-tale background white noise starts back up as the sound of my chair scraping cuts back in. In that room, no more than 10 seconds passed from me getting up, to sitting back down.

“I forgot to ask how you take your coffee.”

“Black will do right now. I’m not keen on sleeping.”

“So, this Leviathan – did you see it?”

“Yes.”

“What did it look like?”

“Huge.”

The sound of my voice sighing again; when did I get so unprofessional?

“Doctor-“

“I know, Detective. I’m sorry. But English is not my first language, and flights of fantasy are not things I’m familiar with. I’m trying.”

She sounds like a teacher, with her gentle tone and unspoken urge to stop disappointing her. The echoes of the shame I felt then hit me again as I listen. She takes a breath, and tries again.

“I saw the tendrils first, and yes, they looked like the tails of an oarfish. Then there were other tendrils, more like a squid’s tentacles, but there were far too big for giant or even colossal squid. I didn’t know what I was looking at, so all I could do was try to get closer, even though doing so would take me deeper. I risked the depth, and then I saw it, and it was looking back at me, too. So many eyes, lit up in the dark, all pointed at me.

“When I say it was huge, the word doesn’t capture it. It was vast. It was so big it should not, by rights, have fit into our ocean. We should have seen this thing before now, but here it was, in front of me.

“The tendrils I’d seen all led back to what I assume was a mouth of some kind; they lined it like a catfish’s whiskers. The rest of the body was like that of a great whale, perhaps a sperm whale as it had teeth and not baleen plates – each tooth was easily as big as me - and it seemed armoured in some way, but I couldn’t see properly; the light I had didn’t pierce the gloom well enough to see it in full. It was so dark down there I thought I’d gone too far and would never make it back up to the surface.

“It’s tendrils started to glow, and then it spoke. Not with its mouth, almost directly into my mind; it felt like whale song in my chest and behind my eyes, my whole body was shaking with how loud it was.”

The pause is mercifully interrupted by the arrival of the doctor’s coffee, and I take the moment to gather myself.

“So, you dived in search of a giant squid, potentially diving too deep, and thought you saw a monster from the bible, is that right?”

“If that’s the spin you’d like to put on it.” Her answer is cold at my suggestion that she hallucinated the whole thing.

“Ok, and what did it say?”

“It said the world is not our home, it’s our host, and that we need to clean the world up. It said we’re dooming ourselves, not earth, if we don’t do better. It said they all care about us-“

“Wait a minute, ‘they all?’ There’s more?”

“Detective, please do not interrupt. Yes, it said ‘they,’ but I only saw one creature that day, and I never saw it again. Perhaps the list of other people you’ll be speaking to will be able to provide more answers?”

“How did you know I’d be speaking to others?”

This time, the smile in her voice is so blatant she may as well be laughing at me. 

“It told me you would.”

[songsofbloodandfire]

The Path

(A lot of Antelope tribe headcannon stuff. This is specifically the branch that A’sana, her wife and a few others come from. Various warnings about mild blood, gray lore stuff…so on and so forth. I blame @talesfromthegameff14 for inspiring this.)

The stone had sat in Ayanga’s hand, calling to her, urging her to claim it just as the land itself had welcomed her and A'sana was terrified of it. Her tribe was gone. Only her and Delesta remained. Her brother had held in his hand what could have been the key to everything. To reclaim something of her lost tribe, to understand what was going on with her…to have something to pass on to the children she carried. Despite all the reasons to take it, she had said no, even if it was temporary until she was certain.

Certainty wasn’t going to come by brooding over it. Even as she finished the circle, the scent of tallow, blood and chalk thick in the air, she knew what she was doing was needed. She’d done this once before, sent her spirit out across the aether in search of someone. Then it had been Xavion, using their bond as her guide. She’d done it trying to find Aveis, using her sister’s blood as her beacon across the vast expanse of that nameless place. Even if she didn’t understand it, she knew that was where she had brought her family, where she had been trapped by the voidsent Gancanagh. Their minds had made sense of it as a dream, but she knew it was more than that but she lacked the words to explain it because Eozreans had no word to explain it and she did not remember enough of her tribe’s own tongue to know what they called it.

This time, there would be no beacon. Not one living at least. She knew A’dorel had reached to her through that space between. She understood that now. She also knew the last time had left him terribly weak so she was hoping that this time her reaching out to him would be the difference. It scared her. She didn’t know her path. She didn’t know the price of this. There was always a price with magic and blood magic could be even steeper than most.

Her fingers were stained with blood and ash from tracing out the intricate circle. It didn’t feel right. These runes were those she’d learned over time, from books, tattered scrolls and a man who had ultimately turned his back on her in fear of what she was becoming. Now she had to help but wonder if it was because she was stronger than him rather than his excuse of her being too ruthless. T’resh had been a ruthless man himself, but he feared those stronger than him. She’d known it then, but had never thought to associate power with herself. Still, these were what she had. What she knew worked and for now, they would work.

Aether flowed into the room like a living breeze, hot with the flavor of her blood, of the blood magic she used. Ash and ozone lay heavy on her tongue, but she blocked it out. She let her spirit free itself from the physical constraints of her body, let her will guide the aether into the circle to act as her anchor and the shield for her physical body and the children she carried. Other wards, including her the one giving to her by her brother, Ayanga, would help protect her spirit.

There was always a rush, somewhere between the strange jolting sensation of falling one got right before sleep, the electric shock of waking in fear from a nightmare and the lulling warmth of the mind in between sleep and waking. It was disorienting and always she felt as if it might consume if she gave into it and in the past, she had fought it but Ayanga’s words rang in her head. Accepting a call in the past had made it easier to handle what was being offered and so, she accepted this. She did not judge, did not fight, did not analyze it. She acknowledged it and let it go. Let it be. And in doing so, there was a sense of freedom she didn’t quite understand. She had done something large, something so momentous that it promised to change her and she puzzled over it distently because while she could feel this, she couldn’t understand what it meant.

A’sana became aware of her body with the casual awareness one does of realizing the sky is blue. It simply was. She knew it wasn’t her physical body, but it was her body. Separate of the children she carried in the waking realm. Separate of the aches and pains of maternity, of living and of the past. It was simply her core. The very essence of herself and yet incomplete without that mortal coil she could still distantly feel if she reached for it. This too, despite the fear it brought, she accepted and it simply was.

The cave lay out before her as it was meant to be, not as it was in the current day. The waters that lay in a semi circle around the central room were pure and charged with aether, shimmering blue-white in the light of the room, mixing with the electric violet of the crystals embedded in the ceiling above her. This part of the cave was without the runes on the walls and the paintings that lined the tunnel that would have led here. She stood in the circle etched into the ground, kept whole by countless generations.

At each cardinal direction, a stone stood. Three feet tall, they were etched with runes and each bore a different decoration. East  bore intricate ropes of herbs and bones, the skull of an antelope, bleached by the sun, prominently displayed on it. South was ringed in gold and fire crystals, each woven into the intricate rope work. West was water crystals and plants she knew had traveled a long way from the coastal seas they would have come from and North bore the feathers of the great birds that roamed the Fringes, painted with intricate runes in a silvery paint. They were beautiful and they were protection. That knowledge came unbidden, a memory from the time her grandmother had brought her here.

“You came and yet you are still not ready.” She knew that voice. A’dorel had spoken to her several times but there was a certain sorrow in his voice this time. A disappointment that she hadn’t expected to hear.

“I came seeking answers.” A’sana turned to face him, standing face to face with what could have been her more masculine doppelganger. There was no question the man was her father. “There is nothing left of the tribe. Our lands have gone back to the wild. The spirit walkers cave defiled by void. I need you to help me understand.”

The look that played in Dorel’s silver eyes and across his features was the long suffering one of a parent dealing with a child stubbornly refusing to accept a parents explanation of something. “You have answers, A’sana. You know this. You rejected them because of fear. What do you think would have happened if A’tiyhe had been able to teach you properly? Had been able to pass down your birthright? That stone would have been yours, Saghiri. It is yours and you know it.” Sana shook her head, agitation running through her body, down her tail and laying her ears flat. She didn’t want the soulstone. She didn’t want the voices of those who’d borne it before her in her head. As old as she was sure it was, she could only imagine how many voices would be speaking to her. She didn’t want that. She feared that. Her own voice in her head was unbearable on some days as it was.

“There is always another way. Maybe I can keep coming here for you to teach me.” Even as she spoke those words she knew it wasn’t true. She could feel the drain on her body from holding this connection. Like the last times she’d done this, her body was faltering quickly. It took too much for this to be a viable way for her to learn of her people. Of what she was.

She could see her suspicions answered in the look he gave her, his tone gentle and loving as she came to take her into his arms, kissing the top of her head as she rested her forehead on his shoulder. “Saghiri…my daughter. You know what you need to do. I should have been there to help you with this. Your grandmother…A’tiyhe should have been there. Instead, we made choices and now you are bearing the consequences and I will never go to the great river knowing that I am the cause of this. That I brought our people to ruin.” Her head lifted at that, the frown and the confusion on her features enough to prompt him to continue. “You should not have been chosen to be spirit walker. I should have been. I was initiated and trained, awaiting my trial to take A’tiyhe’s place and the day I should have instead I challenged the Nuhn. I had been among the last ones born. Eight years and we had no children when before there had been at least one born per year. It was not for lack of trying. The women were fertile. We knew this since they had born children before. A’kahi was no longer fertile and our tribe would die if he remained Nuhn. I challenged him. I won. No other Tia would challenge me and the women accepted me, so it was.” A pained look played across his features before he kissed her forehead and pulled away while he continued to speak. “A’tiyhe…was disappointed. Time was weighing on her and there were no others but me born able to take her place and the land demanded a spirit walker to speak for it. To speak for our ancestors. To walk the veil like you have to hear their wisdom. Even though I tried, you and A’dina were the only two even potentially able to take her place and only you had the sight…”

“I don’t understand how this was your fault. You did what any Tia should have when you challenged the Nuhn to take his place. Eventually the women would have rejected him anyways.” She knew enough about how most Seeker tribes tended to work to know what was the case. There were exceptions, but she didn’t remember them being one of them. “You’re right, but A’tiyhe was sick. She knew it. We all knew it. We needed her to keep the land safe and instead by claiming my place as Nuhn instead of spirit walker, I left us vulnerable. The runes that helped hide our village began to fail. The crops began to fail. No rains came…Even the game became more scarce. These were things that were signs our spirit walker was sick…that the land was sick with her.” Irritation and frustration played in his body as he paced while he continued to speak, every bit of his posture akin to the large cats that her sister’s so often reminded her of. “We hoped that by initiating you early, even without training, it would help take some of the burden, but it was too little too late. I attempted to help. I underwent my trail, but while I was recovering, we were attacked. I was weakened…too weak to properly protect our people. One of our own had led them through the lands and led them to our homes and I could do nothing but die as I watched them slaughter our people for not yielding to their will.” She could feel her hold on things starting to slip, could feel her physical body starting to weaken even as she listened. “You did what you thought was right. I can’t fault you for that.”

“No, but I fault myself for it.” He sighed as he stopped his pacing to come back to her, standing before her and gently taking her face into his hands. “You need to go back, Saghiri. This is a place for the dead. Go…go and take what is yours. Stop fearing and just accept.”

“There has to be another-”

“There isn’t. You know this. You do not accept, but you know.” A’sana let out a sound of frustration as she felt him push her back into her physical body and out of that place they had been in.

She came awake with a start, feeling as if she’d been drenched in cold water and truly, her body was soaked with sweat from the strain of what she’d done. Her hands shook as she wiped them across the circle to break it, the rush of the aether dissipating causing the candles to dance and flicker madly. It was a struggle to reach for her linkpearl and let Delesta know that she would be spending the night at her workspace. That no, she was fine, she just was tired and didn’t feel like making the walk home.

And then she wept. Curled on herself as much as her pregnancy would allow, her hand lay cradled against her children as she wept. She mourned for the people she could barely remember. For the father she knew was punishing himself by not moving on. For so much that was lost that her children would never know. More than that, she wept because she knew what she had to do and she knew in doing so, she would change. Into what. Into who. She didn’t know. She just knew that she would change and that the path she was walking down would be responsible for it. She could turn back, could be willfully ignorant, but that wasn’t her way. Knowledge was being put before her and she couldn’t turn her back to it.

It took time and the gentle kicking of her sons to stir her from where she lay in the ash and dried blood of her circle. She ate what food she kept there and drank water, though both tasted like ash on her tongue. It wasn’t for herself, but for her sons. She forced herself to clean up the mess of her ritual even as her legs and arms shook with weariness. She bathed even though she could feel sleep tugging at her. And finally, when she did sleep, it was fitful, but it was sleep.

In the morning, she would speak with Ayanga. She might not ask for the stone back, but she would at least get his input on what she’d seen. Even as she had that thought, she knew she would ask for it back, even if, like so many other hard truths she tried to hide from herself, she wouldn’t admit it yet.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

9x10: Music References and Ties to Beth

Okay, here goes. One of the things I really loved about this episode was how much of it revolved around music. The biggest things that jumped out to me were, of course, Lydia and the fact that her dad sings to her in flashbacks. There are some major Beth parallels going on here.

Because Beth was the song bird, we automatically tie any and all musical references to her. And there were TONS in this episode! We also saw the songbird pull the worm from the walker’s ear when this arc began (after Rick left) which gives us a lot of hope that Beth will show up somewhere in this arc. Keep in mind that doesn’t mean she has to show up this season, but we hope she will.

Alpha sang to Lydia and calling her “Bug.” Later, we find out it was actually her father who sang to her. That's significant because, back in S2, we saw Herschel not exactly singing to Beth but sort of chanting the rhyme to her about the doodlebug. It was their thing that they did together to bond and it brought her comfort when she got sick (emotionally/psychologically) after the walkers came out of the barn.

So anyway, Beth’s father called her Doodlebug and sang to her. There have been many theories by me and various members of TD about the doodlebug rhyme and the closely connected ladybug symbol, which we know is a major symbol for Beth. (Remember, she was associated with ladybugs in Still when she picked up ladybug off the leaf.)

We didn’t actually see Daryl watching Hershel sing to Beth, but he was probably aware of it, and he knew how close Beth was to her dad. We also know he watched her sing to Judith as a baby to comfort her, so he’s definitely seen people sing to their children before, specifically to keep them from being afraid. So, I really loved that when Lydia told the truth about her father singing to her when she was afraid, Daryl immediately recognized it as true and used it to differentiate Lydia’s truths from her lies. I think that’s super significant and can be tied directly back to Beth and Daryl’s memories of her.

On TTD, they said that the person who wrote the lyrics for the song Lydia’s father sang her (Lydia, the Tattooed Lady) is the same person who wrote all the songs for the Wizard of Oz (TWOO).

That's super important for several reasons. They went out of their way to point it out on TTD, which means they really want us to know about it. Obviously, knowing who the lyricist is, isn’t something we need to know in order to understand the show. They also reminded us that we'd seen Rick reading the Wizard of Oz book to Judith in 9A, before the bridge blew.

Now, I really need to update my Wizard of Oz theory, but remember the first place we saw the Wizard of Oz template was at Grady with Beth. Seeing it with Rick just reinforced that she's as much alive as Rick is. Both of them were injured and woke up in a faraway, strange land, separated from their friends and family. So, because we know Rick is alive, and they associated him with the TWOO template (Dorothy survives at the end of the story makes it back to her family; she doesn't die.) we can use that as evidence that Beth, too, is alive and well somewhere.

I also find it to be entirely too coincidental that they mentioned TWOO on TTD and in this episode, Daryl said to Lydia, “You don’t know shit about me.” Noah said that to Beth at Grady and he was also the one had the “of the Lollipop Guild” line. See the subtle ties? Tptb went out of their way to tie this episode heavily to TWOO and, by extension, to Grady.

Let's talk about the Tattooed Lady song. I looked at the lyrics and let's just say that there are a lot of extremely random references included in the song. 

Here they are:

Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia Oh! Lydia, the tattooed lady She has eyes that folks adore so And a torso even more so Lydia, oh! Lydia, that "Encyclopedia" Oh! Lydia, the Queen of tattoo On her back is the Battle of Waterloo Beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus too And proudly above the waves The Red, White and Blue You can learn a lot from Lydia She can give you a view of the world In tattoo if you step up and tell her where For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree Or Washington crossing the Delaware Oh! Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia Oh! Lydia, the tattooed lady When her muscles start relaxin' Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson Lydia, oh! Lydia, that "Encyclopedia" Oh! Lydia, the champ of them all For two bits she will do a Mazurka in Jazz With a view of Niag'ra that no artist has And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz You can learn a lot from Lydia. La la la La la la La la la La la la Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon And Godiva, but with her pajamas on La la la La la la La la la La la la Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trylon Over on the west coast we have Treasure Islan' Here's Nijinsky a doin' the Rhumba Here's her Social Security numba La la la La la la La la la La la la Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia Oh! Lydia, the champ of them all She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat And now the old boy's in command of the fleet

The song is about a woman who has tattoos all over her body. Most of them have to do with real people or historical events. So, the idea is that you can learn a lot from looking at her tattoos. Not all the references jump out at me as meaning something significant, but a lot of them do.

First, a LOT of them are water references. (Remember water =s Beth). It mentions the Battle of Waterloo, which I think is a dual symbol for the coming war with the Whisperers and also the fact that it includes “water” in the title.

It mentions The Wreck of Hesperus, which is a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow about a shipwreck. This one is super interesting to me because the captain of the boat wrecks his ship due to his arrogance. His little daughter is on board. I just couldn't help but think of this shot where we see this boat in the storm, talking about a sailor behind Hershel. 

I feel like we could substitute Herschel and Beth into this poem as the captain and his daughter.

The song mentions Treasure Island, which is an artificial island in San Francisco Bay. So again, more water references.

It also makes mention of different waves of the sea, Niagara, and the Crossing of the Delaware, which was when George Washington crossed the Delaware River in the dead of night to attack his enemies. For the record, that story is considered a modern-day miracle. It also mentions a fleet of ships tattooed across Lydia’s hips. There are probably a few other water references. Go through the lyrics and see for yourself.

Other references that jumped out at me include Buffalo Bill. I wondered if he, being a great hunter, could perhaps be a symbol of Daryl. One thing that caught my interest when I read about him was that he compared his strategy for hunting buffalo to a game of billiards. Obviously, we’ve see that in association with Beth and Daryl.

It talks about Capt. Jeffrey T. Spalding, who is a fictional character, but he was a great world explorer and went on many long journeys. Again, that reminds me of both Beth and Rick's long journeys.

It mentions the Trylon and Perisphere, which were central themes of the World's Fair in 1939. I wondered if perhaps that could point to the fair that's going to be at the Kingdom that they keep foreshadowing.

Finally, it also mentions a man named Vaslav Nijinsky who was a great ballet dancer. Music box anyone?

So I don't know if they mean for us to read into the references in Lydia, the Tattooed Lady. I think the a big part of the point of mentioning it on TTD was to point out it's ties to TWOO, which is clearly tied to Beth.

But we also did hear much of the song in the show, so I think that means the lyrics themselves are very important as well. I reserve the right to analyze the crap out of them. ;D

This is slightly off topic, but me, @frangipanilove and @wdway have also talked about the song, Somewhere Over the Rainbow from TWOO. The lyricist who wrote Lydia, the Tattooed Lady, Yip Harburg, also wrote all the TWOO songs, including the famous Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

We’ve talked about how a lot of the symbols in that song can easily tie to Beth. I’ve never talked about the song in my TWOO posts before, but obviously I should. The mural on the prison wall back in S4 included a rainbow, which is further proof that Beth’s arc and these symbols were planned back then, when Beth first came front and center.

@frangipanilove also pointed out that the shirt Sophia wore when she came out of the barn in S2 had a rainbow on it. That’s a great way to associate Beth with the Missing Girl theme. The song talks about wishing on stars (North Star Theory, Sirius/Dog Star Theory) and songbirds (Beth and the songbirds with Daryl and the tree walker in 5x06). And of course there’s the fact that Dorothy has a dog named Toto.

And keep in mind the basic plot of TWOO. Dorothy, who wore a lot of blue 

hits her head (obvious head injury) and passes out. She wakes up in a far away land, away from her friends and family and spends the entire episode trying to get home.

This is why I can totally see them first bringing Beth back somewhere other than TWD (perhaps in Fear or another spinoff) so they can tell her story without completely taking over the main story line. But we’ll just have to wait and see.

I also noticed that we see a rainbow on the wall near Lydia that mirrors the one at the prison. Hmm. Especially given all the water references, could Alpha function as the Wicked Witch? Really no idea. Just conjecturing. But remember that in TWOO, it’s water that defeats the villain. (I’m melting!) Just saying. ;D

So, this is been kind of a rambling post, but there's a lot of music floating around this episode, and I can't help but tie it to Beth and feel like she's very close. Thoughts?

[coral-station]

1: Fresh Start Station (Draft)

Agent 8 needed a new name. After everything she had gone through and despite all that she had gained, it wasn't without loss. Her arduous journey that started with her fateful encounter with a young squid she would come to know as Agent 3, propelled her through the darkest depths of the deep sea and - perhaps without her full understanding - culminated in the social liberation of her kind. Torrents of demanding feats and tests came at her one after the other as she was set in pursuit of Agent 3. The reasons and truths drew closer each step of the way and, Agent 8, surfaced alongside them. Agent 8, with help from a surprisingly crackpot team of Squid, Cuttlefish and Octopus had overcome a maniacal and ancient evil to, much like their composition, united societies and found a freedom deeper than the oceans they escaped from. What was lost however, was Agent 8 herself. 'Agent 8' was a nickname for convenience sake; her previous name, memories and life was left behind, torn off at the bottom of the sea. The only thing Agent 8 had left floating in her mind was the heavenly melody of the Calamari Inkantation, brought in by a rebellious tide that carried so much flotsam from a wreckage of life to be left behind.

"How about we just call you 8?" Said Pearl who, by this point, had become tired of thinking about the same thing for this long.

"No, Pearlie. It needs to have more meaning to it, you know" Marina looked over at me, warmly considering my feelings "You've gotta start fresh, right?"

"Yeah, you're right. I want to start re-establishing me again, somehow" Marina shot me a quick pose as I did my best to hide the pensive look that grew on my face.  

Pearl stood up from the lavish sofa, perhaps jumped off like a small child who sunk too far into the overly fluffy cushions would be a more accurate way to describe the small squid's movements. I watched as she trudges along the matching pink, fluffy rug that filled in the floor space from here on the sofa to most of the way to what was more window than wall. Sunlight broke through the thin cloud cover and warmed the large open-plan seating room so effortlessly in a way I never thought I would experience. I have a vague recollection of seeing the sun's rays break through the waves far above my head. Thinking of when I would have been in such shallow waters as to see the sun gave me a headache. While remembering specifics of my life from before is tough, I still recall clearly how cold and dank Octarian society was and, most of all, how profoundly deep down our lives were. This separation from the world above was stressed upon us no more clearly than in rare specs of light that penetrated our darkness, teasing us of what was up there - teasing us only if you still had a mind to think with of your own.

After concluding the events that had me fighting for the liberation of all Octolings from a society that was as oppressive as the ocean's pressure, I began to live with Pearl and Marina. This duo had assisted me under the guises of M.C. Princess and D.J. Hyper_Fresh respectively. Pearl was a shorter-than-most-squid who, despite living in luxury her whole life, was honest, tireless and as loyal as a barnacle. Marina, on the other hand, was actually an Octoling like me! Likewise, her life was changed when she first heard the Calamari Inkantation. Unlike me, she had managed to escape to the surface world and join the Inkling's society all by herself. When Pearl and Marina met, they had instantly bonded over their love of music and formed a band: Off the Hook. Off the Hook just as instantly became a hit and the two of them of are at the forefront of Inkling pop-culture, but I've come to know rather differently following their stint as my undercover saboteurs.

"But what you did was really something!" Pearl spun around from large pane of glass and beamed a smile as radiant as the summer afternoon. "I thought that continuing to call you 8 would carry some ... gravy" 

Marina and I surely shared the same dumbfounded look on our faces for a moment until Marina cracked the code. "Do you mean gravitas?"

"...What did I say?" Pearl then joined ranks and wore a similar confused expression. There was nothing to do but laugh about it.

"Thanks, Pearl. I just would rather start life here with a blank slate and fill it out myself from here on" I stretched out my legs and stood up, leaving what I imagined was the softest place on this earth. I had no real intention to go anywhere and just walk around idly, but as if catching me before I left forever Marina spoke up. 

"Are you still thinking of leaving soon, finding your own place?" Marina may well have held out her arm to grab me "I mean, I- uh, we, want to help you all we can. It's the least we can do"

It was clear Marina felt somehow indebt to me personally, owing to her also being an Octoling. The significance of it all was never lost on me. "I would love that" not being in a position to be as self-reliant as I want to be quite yet, I could only accept gratefully.  

It was the polite thing to do anyway, to oblige and let both Marina and Pearl express their gratitude - not that I feel deserving completely. Truthfully, the whole ordeal was such a whirlwind, I can hardly believe I was capable of doing something of the things I had to. They say in certain dire situations you find that your body is capable of unimaginable physical feats. I must have tapped into my primal instincts - do or die. It was a real rush! Living with Pearl and Marina in their stylish mansion far from the city - further from the sea - it was too quiet, relaxed and I was on edge. Even now I find it uncomfortable to sit still for too long. When I look out to or ponder around the well-kept garden, the smell of cut grass and trimmed hedges that soothes others only makes me almost uncontrollably agitated by the serenity of it all. My bedroom window towards the rear of the estate overlooks the garden's stone bird water feature, waking up to that sight in the morning irritates me. I cannot comprehend that thing. Marina often sits beside it watching the flesh and birds that congregate to sing, as if offering their songs for consideration to Marina as she works on her with her laptop and headphones. I think it’s supposed to be calming - at least that's what she says. "The sun's early morning warmth and sweet bird song are all I need to recharge my heart when I'm feeling down or burnt out" was her answer when I asked her once. Not that I meant to, the question just found its way from my head and out through my mouth to Marina. "Oh! And my Pearlie! Nothing else works quite like her when it comes to recharging my heart" she would add with a coy smile pressing one hand against her cheek.

I want to break the whole thing. Kick my legs out at it and flail my arms until one or the other breaks.

My head often fills with sudden impulses like that. Even when I see Pearl and Marina cosy-up with each other, all I can do is fake a smile and try not to wrest my tentacles from my mantle. Not that I have anything against them, my emotions just go from zero to one hundred with only enough time for me to pretend they don't exist. I've never acted out of turn though, I've managed to resist these compulsions for now. Though, when my mind isn't preoccupied with something else, or when I'm not kept busy, I'm constantly bombarded from the inside like this. It gets worse. This next bit is very tough for me, I don't want to admit it’s going on. I can hardly bring myself to believe it’s real. I'm haunted by a phantom. Not a phantom of the gloopy life form that inhabited the telephone, but of the train. When I close my eyes and silence is all I hear, the distant chug of the train rolls in from the darkness. The darkness itself soon bares arrival to the train's headlights. The long hallways of Pearl and Marina's grand design does nothing to abide this presence either. At night, I see the train pull past the far end of the hallways. The sleek finished double wooden doors around the house shift their state to better resemble the automatic doors of the deep-sea metro's carts when I'm on my own and no one else can see. The normal relationship of commuter and public transport has been spun on its head and the train awaits my arrival, with this house the station - or perhaps, more specifically, the destination. Trying to reconcile these thoughts cuts me deep to my core. I have no sense of previously established sense of self to draw from and explain my own thoughts logically thereby. Where there may once have been a 'me' is lost and replaced by the mess I am now. This new me that I am now has lost something far more integral to my being than the difference in the change of my surroundings. It is as though I left behind all my personal belongings on the station when I boarded the train, or left them on the train when I alighted the station. Which way around is it? I cannot possibly tell.

I let Pearl and Marina know I would be stepping out the rest of the day, to get some air and explore around. Pearl had some business in the city that evening and insisted I join her on her way down if I was going that direction. Since it would be no imposition on her driver to have me as an extra passenger, I took her up on her offer. A launch event for a line of Camp Triggerfish camping gear, clothes and various other sundries was being held at The Reef. Since Camp Triggerfish was owned by Pearl's family, it was her idea to hold a wild launch party with live performance from Off the Hook. In the end, she had to settle for much more tame press event purely for publicity sake. Canopies and expensive champagne would be the height of the festivities to encourage favourable write ups. While it may just be purely circumstantial, Pearl was certainly much more active and busier than her impression gives off, so this half-hour at most car journey would be the most time I've spent in her company just the two of us. It was a little hard to tell if Pearl felt as anxious about this as I was, but the thought of visit Inkopolis gave me an opportunity to act on one of my impulsive thoughts that a little awkwardness wouldn't be too hard to put up with. Thankfully, Pearl is just as surprisingly comfortable to be around.

"You know, my Dad has a few empty condos not too far the pad now that we could set you up in" Pearl could tell I had something on my mind and, as outlandish as her lifestyle is, her offer was completely genuine and considerate to me.

"Wow, thank you. Honestly. But I'll have to pass up on such an offer. Not that I want to reject all your generosity, I just had something smaller in mind. Something more quaint" Sitting next to Pearl on the leather seats, absentmindedly stroking the fabric upholstery in Pearl's chauffeur driven limousine it wasn't hard to imagine how it was possible that she just offer up a condo space for me so easily.  

At home Pearl is a little slobbish, unkempt and sometimes disastrous when it comes to household chores, but here in the car's atmosphere she cuts a much more refined figure. It was as though she could flip a literal switch that turned her from an unruly child to a sophisticated and responsible adult. I was about to ask after her father's work when she leaned over to the window on my side and redirected my attention. "Check it! The ocean. It's for real mad, yo!"  

Without time to breakdown what she was saying, I looked outside to see the cliffs break to reveal the ocean that expanded across the horizon. "Mad" I found myself repeating. The sight was gorgeous. The ocean could be seen from Pearl's place but the cliff edges were a little further on so the view was always a little oblique. I had yet to return to Inkopolis since moving in with Pearl and Marina so this was an entirely new vista for me. The sun reflected so large on the ocean with waves' ripples further imposing its size. To the east the tall skyscrapers of Inkopolis also made their presence on the ocean's surface known too by cast an equally impressive reflection. Driving down from the hillside also brought into view the harbour opposite the mainland of Inkopolis. It was this harbour from which we bested Tar-Tar and the weaponised statue. The partially recognisable head of the statue that remained mostly sunken beneath the ocean would soon come into view, and so too would the memories of the fight. The sky rails. The bombs from the helicopter. Pearl's heroic roar. The throbbing of my hearts.

"You can see it, yeah, the head?" Pearl broke the silence and my intense stare relaxed, but my eyes still remained fixed.

"I wonder if anyone else really know what happened" I took a deep breath then breathed out. Pearl sat back in her seat contemplating how to answer. No, was the obvious answer, but I think my question had an extra layer to it that we both knew to be there, hidden underneath.

"Perhaps someone else saw it. Perhaps a few. It was such a big to-do and we got so caught up in focusing on what we had to do that we could have had a large cheering crowd before us and we didn't notice"

"It wouldn't have been at all like you to miss out on a chance to put on a show for them" I surprised myself by saying something like that so casually.

"Hey! What do you think my scream was for? I can only hope they boo-yah'd back!" Pearl and I shared a good chuckle.

Spending time with Pearl on the car journey into Inkopolis was a lot more rewarding than I imagined. I actually felt somewhat embarrassed being so initially pensive, but I think Pearl understands me a whole lot more than she lets on. Soon the car drove through the harbour and across the long bridge over the ocean into Inkopolis proper. Showing further her ability to intuit me, or at least the mood, Pearl instructed the driver to stop the car and let me out after we finished our cresting the bridge. I thanked Pearl for bringing and for the pleasant journey. It was probably unnecessary to say that second part out loud, my mouth had gotten the better of me. Pearl shrugged it and, before closing the door and zooming off to prepare for her event this evening, she gave made me one more offer.

"The thing at the Reef tonight, come to it if you want. Sorry I didn't remember to invite you sooner. Just say you're on the guest list!" She closed the door and waved to me from inside the window, at some point she managed to put on a pair of dark sunglasses without me noticing. Pearl rode off without telling me a specific time for the launch party and smile played its way on my face. That was more along the lines of what I expected from Pearl. Nonetheless, I was now in Inkopolis. I felt empowered. I felt like was finally taking my own lead again. But my mind soon grew blank. Where was I going? No, that's not quite right. I knew where I wanted to go, I'm just hesitating. There was only one place I felt drawn. I had to shift the balance, put it right again. I had to go to underground, back to the deep-sea Metro.  

[freyalor]

Word prompt- Ducks! The campus ducks have been out in full force today and are actually adorable, so ducks are somewhat on my mind.

This hasn’t been an easy one. But @lustigs-maerchenland has been pushing me up to the challenge for the very specific reason that you gave the same prompt to both of us!

So here’s my piece!  Have fun comparing!

A few deaths too many.

Fandom : History of FrancePairing : Louis/RichelieuDate : 1632Words : 3KRating : G

Blam!

Thedeafening gunshot makes me jump, gasping a little, and I force myselfsteady by crossing my arms tight.

Thesmell of powder hurts my throat. I hide my flinch with a sharp cough.

Nextto me, so close I can see the small clouds formed by his breath inthe raging cold, he yells in triumph, handing the musket back toTreville.Far away, somewhere beyond the poplars, a bird fallslike a stone, giving a series of faint thumps as it hits the radiantfoliages of early autumn.

Thehunting squires immediately spur their horses and disappear into thewoods in search for the small body, and soon enough one of them comesback galloping towards us, brandishing a lifeless bunch of feathers.

-“CongratulationsYour Majesty!” The boy exults as he presents the dead bird to him,head first, paws tucked back.

Itis – itwasamagnificent mallard, vibrant with lively hues of green and blue, hisbeak a masterpiece of bright yellow. A beautiful creature, just asGod has wanted it, well, until a musket bullet, made to piercethrough steel armours, tore a good half of his insides open wide.

It’snot even fit to be consumed. It’s dead. That’s all it is.

TheKing still turns to me, beaming joy, his dark hair flying wild uponthe nasty October winds, and I silently thank the bird, for what it’sworth, for having at least made this man happy. Times have been roughwith him lately, his duties forcing him twice to execute a man whoused to be very dear to him. Marillac, last August, andMontmorency, last week.

Myefforts have been numerous - andthey can be, trust me, of quite various natures– inthe hope of bringing back that smile to his lips, but my Louis is ahunter, and though he can never be indifferent to my wits andaffection, eventually, sooner or later, his pain has to be healed infresh, warm blood.

Hegestures at the dead duck with radiant pride, and I nod subtly,bowing to his deadly aim.

Helaughs, then, spins around and reaches out for Treville. The Captainreloads the musket in six expert moves and hands it back to theKing.

-“Splendidweapon, Captain!” Louis praises, and the Musketeer clicks hisheels.

-“Indeed,Your Majesty.” He muses. “A few of those in my regiment would bequite a blessing.”

Withthat, IknowTrevilleis looking at me. That’s why I very ostensibly avert my eyes.

ForGod’s sake we have talked about this a thousand times. The treasurywill never allow me to give such an expensive weapon to each andevery one of his trained dogs. They will be kept for the Royal Army’sinfantry, and that’s final. His boys spend more time running aroundwith pistols and swords than handling any kind of musketsanyways.

Trevillegrunts something under his breath, and I’m not sure it isappropriate, but I know better than to spoil my King’s newly-foundjoy with pointless bickering.

Holdingthe long, delicately chiseled weapon firmly in his arms, Louis keepshis narrowed eyes to the skies, and what he’s waiting for doesn’tfail to come. Indeed, a wave of dreadful cold has crashed uponFrance from up North, and we are in full migration season. Theskyline of Versailles is constantly crossed by graceful formations ofducks, escaping the cruelty of winter for the warmer climate of theMediterranean Sea.

Ilook up to marvel at the V-shaped battalion gently passing over themeadow. The birds follow their leader in perfect synchronicity,calling each other by sharp, modulated cries. I have seen amonghumans, I fear, less orderly regiments.

Iwon’t admire the birds for long. Louis is already clicking thematchlock, aiming, firing.

Blam!

Ijump again, biting my lips upon a whimper, cursing my nerves one moretime.

Thebirds squeak and scatter in confusion, disappearing from our sight inmere seconds. Two of them won’t have this chance, spiralling to theground in broken trajectories.

-“Ha!”Louischeers. “Have you seen that? Two of them!”

Again,the squires ride around. Again, horribly mutilated ducks are proudlybrought back to us. My King discusses the efficiency of the musketwith Treville some more, but as he turns to me, it really seems theonly thing he truly hopes for is my approval.

Andmy approval I gladly give, speaking my admiration for his skill,restraining my speech since he despises obsequiousness or fawning. Heseems to like my choice of words and laughs softly, making my heartswell in inescapable warmth.

Iam glad, I really am, to see him naturally blissful, comfortable outthere in the open, away from the palace of lies the Louvre willalways be. But I fear that beyond the pleasure of the hunt itself,this wild, feral man is also trying to impress me with his aim, theway the tradition of his bloodline most surely dictates.

Asif my love for him wasn’t granted forevermore.

Asif it could depend on a sad row of tattered birds.

Ifeel flattered, truly, by his will to draw my attention, and thereare indeed other men, in other places or other times, who would havebeen seduced by his unquestionable ability, but I have seen so muchblood pointlessly spilled upon French soil in my wretched lifetimethat even those ducks feel like a few deaths too many.

Soas Treville takes back the musket, reloads it with the same deftcompetence and returns it to Louis, I wish I could give the nextbirds a warning.  I wish I could spend one month of my life, oneweek, one day, without seeing something die.

Butthe meadow is well-chosen and the time of the year is perfect, so, ofcourse, merely minutes after the last gunshot, a smaller yetcolourful flock of ducks appear over the hunting lodge’s roof, and Ibrace myself, hugging my own chest, squeezing my eyes shut.

Blam!

TheKing roars. Isigh.

Anotherdead bird is laid down with the others upon a plain table behindTreville. Another artwork of nature is reduced to a pile of bloodiedflesh and broken bones. I can bear the sight of that forlorn featheryheap for so long before my stomach sinks, and I need to lower myeyes.

Iknow I have no right to look aside. I’m just being a hypocrite. Ihave signed, ordered, and designed more destruction than this musketcould ever cause. My hands are stained with the blood of moreinnocents than any hunt could ever kill. But precisely becausethe cries of those I had to sacrifice to forge a nation worthy of myKing will haunt my nights until I die, I cannot stand the blood ofthose sinless,  graceful creatures.

It’snothing more than a few deaths too many.

Asthe mighty gun is thoroughly compared to the flintlock or the heavypitchfork musket by a very enthusiastic Treville, the King spotsanother group of ducks over the Eastern woods, and snaps for theweapon to be reloaded.

Oh,please, Louis, just let them fly,I almost implore, but this sorrow I feel is but the whim of mytrouble nerves again I am sure.

Unwillingto ruin my King’s cheerfulness I keep my gaze on the ground, betweendead leaves and burgeoning mushrooms, tightening my coat around myshoulders, waiting for the killing spree to end, trying to chase awaythe ghost voices of my own damnation.

Ihear the scattered cries of migrating ducks approaching steadily, andI already bite my lips to muffle my whine at the next gunshot.

Somany deaths, so many souls. Fallen like stones upon French soil,their guts torn open by wars that needed to be waged. So many faces,so many names, waiting for me on Judgment Day, with their revengeupon their lips.

Enoughbullets, enough blood, please, Louis.I could not, in any way,love you more than I already do.

Theducks fly closer, the wind is clear.  Poplars whistle under the timidOctober light, but the thunder of gunpowder, it doesn’t come.

-”Cardinal?”

Ihave a start, my eyes snapping open, and I look up with a dry gulp.

MyKing is there, his musket suspended mid-air, watching me with aworried frown upon his soft, youthful brow. Treville, over hisshoulder, is staring too, more resigned maybe, in front of what hemust think as one more dizzy spell of mine.

ButLouis knows me more than this. He knows me as I know him, more thanhis own body, more than his own soul. He gauges my face, glances atthe ducks above, and meets my eyes again.

Ilower my head, biting my lips, ashamed to be too troubled to feelenticed by his demonstration, crushed, all of a sudden, by howdifferent we’ve always been. The flock passes right over ourheads, so close he could kill three of them in one shot. He’d be soproud, he’d be so glad, overjoyed to prove his worth on somethingless gruesome than a real battlefield. He’d yell injubilation, as the instinct of his bloodline surely dictates, butthat gunshot, itdoesn’t come.

Ilook up once more to see him exhalea long, shuddering sigh instead, and the grip of his musket gives outa muffled sound as it hits the ground between his boots.

-”Youwill never be bloody simple.”He just mutters under his breath, watching in irritation the birdsfly South with disciplined serenity.

Whenthe ducks have disappeared behind the line of high poplars, he shakeshis head a little, and hands the musket over to Treville for the lasttime.

-”Thatwill be all, Captain.” He says. “Order the boys back to thestables. I will join you for dinner in one hour.”

TheMusketeer lets out half a smile. He’s frustrated, no doubt, by theuntimely end of the new musket’s inspection, but he has just beeninvited to the King’s table, and this must mean more weaponrydiscussed later.

So,all in all, he bows quite joyfully and lays the musket back in itswooden case before he runs off to gather the squires.

We’releft alone, my King and me, as the October winds ruffle the tousledfeathers of the four ducks he destroyed. He beckons me close with asharp tilt of his head, and I take three steps forward, until mycloak, as it flaps upon the cold breeze, comes to stroke his handsand arms.

Wedon’t touch, it would be far from safe, but his eyes upon me growsoft and warm, the way they do when we’re in his rooms at night, andit’s enough to cut my breath in pieces.

-”Ifmy hunting skills only fill you with horror,” he whispers, low,dreadful, seductive,“how am I supposed to charm you?”

Ioffer a quiet smile, then, the one I know he likes.

-”Louis,”I breathe, feeling more than I see the deep shudder he always haswhen I speak his name, “don’t worry, you just did.”

Hefrowns again, panting a little, his cheeks taking a colour the coldweather alone cannot justify, and I lift one finger, pointing at theskies above Versailles, where a thin line of peaceful birds cross themeadow in gentle calls.

-”Withthe duck you didn’t kill.” I tell him, and the sound of hislaughter hunts down the ghosts of my crimes just as surely as hisfine musket would.

[insomniac-arrest]

Point A to Point B

genre: slice of life, growing up, wlw, original

words: 10k

summary: ---“I’ve seen the movies.” I say loudly, putting my hands above my head as I lay in the grass. “You’ve seen the movies,” she flops down next to me.

“I’ve heard the songs!” “You’ve heard the songs.” “Will you stop that?” “No.” “I’ve done the research!”

“You googled ‘hot tiddy’ twenty eight times a week.” “Lord save me,” I look up at the bright sky and try to ignore her, “how does someone get from point A to point B? How does anyone get a girlfriend!”----

A girl over the summer of her junior year tries to answer the age-old question that philosophers have been working on for generations: how does a girl get a girlfriend?

The Girl in the Pets World

The song ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ by John Mayer was playing over the loudspeakers as I creep down the fish food aisle. My shoes squeak across the clean linoleum floors and the sterile blinding fluorescents blare from overhead. My hand grazes over the colorful fish food labels one at a time, blue, yellow, pink, ultra pink.

I was feeling a little like fish food myself at the at moment, small and chewed up, but maybe that was just the drama addict in me.

A little girl in blue corduroys and pink sneakers looks up at the speakers as the lyrics ‘And if you want love we'll make it, Swim in a deep sea of blankets’ plays. I hope she’s thinking about blanket forts or something when he says the last part.

I’m not, I’m looking at the front cash registers and sweating, I was never very good at keeping my body temperature at a normal person rate. I sweat in meat lockers, I sweat at hockey games, I sweat in the basement of the school during nap time when I was five. And I sweat getting in line at the Pet’s World for the cash register.

My mom said all the sweating was from my various allergies, but once I found out ‘allergic to earwax’ wasn’t a real thing I stopped taking my mom’s word on a lot of things. Though most dogs still made me sneeze, I was trying to ignore that and hope it goes away.

I held Chubs favorite TetraFin Goldfish flakes in my moist hands and look up the ceiling where two industrial fans swung round and round.  Whump whump whump.

My eyes follow them lazily and hear a loud squawk from the bird section a few paces away and try not to flinch.

‘You frustrate me, I know you're mine all mine all mine, but you look so good it hurts sometimes ’

I hear the song croon on along with the whump whump whump of the industrial fans overhead.

“Next!” I try not to freeze, or swallow my tongue, or sweat through all of my clothes in 2.3 seconds like some sort of ooze monster.

I ooze forward anyway on my human slug legs and push the fish flakes across the counter, a girl with short swishing blue hair takes the item and presses it across the scanner. Her fingers were long, piano-player long, with three rings on each hand. Not enough rings to be obnoxious, but enough to knock some teeth out if she punched a man.

I’m imagining her punching a man now and I’m sweating.

“Hey,” I wipe my palms down on my jeans, trying to resist digging my teeth into my cheek.

She pushes her strands of deep blue hair back and glances up, “hey.” She presses some buttons on her register, she might as well be pressing magic buttons on a wizard wand to me.

“How are you today?” Her voice is low, deep like a purring car engine or bass guitar, formal as it was bored.

“Pretty good.” I stop myself from trying to get something more out, ‘start out small’ I remind myself.

She glances up. “Your total is $4.55.” “Oh,” I riffle around through my pockets, trying to figure out if I brought my wallet or dignity or that notebook I wrote lines down in. “Here.” I place a five down on the counter and she nods, “pretty hot out there today.” “Yeah,” I gulp and swallow thickly, “nice to be out of school.” She snorts, her round delicate features in motion for a second, “you can say that again.” She hands me back 45 cents in change and I take it with just a mild little nod. “Did you want a bag?” “Nah,” I turn around, a dime falling out of my hand as I grab for the fish flakes and go to bolt. Chubs didn’t even need any more flakes yet, I’m running anyway.

“Next!” Her voice calls out and I wonder if she knew my name. If I was just ‘some random fish flakes girl’ to her and she was  Mari S. to me. Mariana Santiago, and I was dying.

I’m out the door.

--------

I’m gasping for breath and feeling my nerves jitter up and down like a jukebox. The cool shadow of the building pets my cheek and I feel like falling over.

I hear snickering off to my left, I’m almost gagging on my own tongue, “Ugh!” I rake my hands through my chin-length brown hair and spin around in circles. I’m on the side of the building now, where the large windows can’t see and only a few cars pass by, the sidewalk chafes on my naked knees as I crash down.

“Okay,” a voice calls out to me, “so I take it you proposed on one knee and she said yes.” I don’t even look up, “shut up Dana.”

I feel someone kick my ankle as I keel over dramatically (for the drama addict in me).

“She spun you around and you kissed against the sunset.” I tilt my eyes up to scowl at my best friend, Dana Kim. “Yeah. Then we made out against the doggy daycare display and the people in the fifth aisle clapped.” “Hey, I think it’d be cool to lose your v-card up against the doggy daycare sign…” Dana’s eyes mist over, “like some innocents lost imagery or some shit.” I roll over on my side and consider flopping my way over to the highway on my stomach. Girls met other girls in hospitals, right?

“How do people do this?!” I throw my hands in the air and shake my fist at God.

“You know,” Dana cracked her ankle as she took a squat next to me, “Bars, bus stops, aquariums, Christianmingle.com…” “How do gay people do this?” I correct myself, “we know that she’s gay, right? We say her tinder profile. There was a girl holding hands with girl emoji.” “Dude, her facebook page is a rainbow flag background,” Dana flicks me gently.

I blink up at her, “Maybe she just likes rainbows?” Dana rolls her eyes, “get up.” She puts her hand out toward me and I grab it, she hauls me up with an exaggerated groan. “God, the weight of your bullshit is giving me arm muscles.” “Pfft,” I punch the side of her arm once, “like you could get muscles if you wanted to.” Dana flexed her thin pale noodle arms, “I’m butch.” I pat her back sympathetically, “my brother asked me who that sad twink was the other day before I told him you just got a haircut.” Dana made an abject face at me and stuffs her glasses higher up on her nose, “Tell Robbie I’m gonna kick his fucking ass.” I laugh, “let’s go. My mom still thinks I’m applying for jobs.” “Aren’t you?” I shrug, “a type of one.” She laughs and pat me on the back again, “girls like girls with money you know” I look up at the sky and I feel my hair tickle the back of my neck, “do girls like girls?” “I’m gonna kick your ass,” she grins, “start walking hot stuff, we’ll go over where you went wrong.” I jump down from the curb and start walking toward the brown on brown suburbs in the distance, “I said ‘hey’ and followed up with a sad confused gay telepathy look.” “What did I tell you about gay telepathy?” We cross through the parking lot, “it doesn’t actually work if you aren’t already bitten by the radioactive ghost of Freddie Mercury yet.” I yank at my stray hairs and want to flop over again, “nothing works.” “Maybe asking her out works?”

“Don’t be daft,” I sniff loudly with a teasing grin and she shakes her head. We jump down from the curb and start meandering along the scruffy uneven road. I look up at the bright, cloudless pale blue sky. As blue as it got in Hobbs New Mexico.

I let out a long puff of air as I let the summer of my junior year soak into me like an old rag, I sigh, “what if I go to college without ever having kissed a girl?” Dana adjusted her glasses and stuffed her hands in her pocket, “I dunno, be like every other gay girl out there Feli? Lesbianism is like a social yield sign. Everything takes a little longer my friend.” I look over my shoulder and give a sad smile, “thanks.” Dana shrugs, “that’s for me too. It’s not like blue-haired Miss Mari is my type, but I could use a girlfriend as well. Like, yesterday.” “You’ve already had a girlfriend,” I say with a scowl, “save some for the rest of us.” “Uh,” Dana scuffs her foot on the ground, “that was at band camp, which doesn’t count, because everyone is gay there and now she lives in Massachusetts.” I wrinkle my nose, “gross.” “I know,” she nods, “and we barely held hands. She was super shy, and like, we just fumbled around that first kiss like idiots.” We start walking up a grassy hill as we approach Peach street and turn toward the dead and yellowing patches of foliage up at the top.

“Oh yeah, the first kiss you described as the ‘most magical touch of the first world order created by the heavens themselves’.” “I did not phrase it like that,” she says indignantly. “I called it the breathtaking flowering of my adolescence.” “Jesus,” I shake my head, “And then three months later at Macy’s party you said that it sucked.”

She frowns slightly and then shrugs, “that’s sometimes how it be.” She shudders, “It was just super, dry.” She wrinkles her nose, “and light.” I groan and flop down next to Our Spot, the place next to the rusted broken down truck that somehow got on Deadman’s Hill and never left. “I can’t believe even you can’t get a good gf in this economy.” “Even me?” She grins, “I’ll take that as a compliment,.”

“Dan,” I say slowly, “I don’t know where I’m going wrong.” “Well, let’s start,” she takes a deep breath in but I stop her.

“I’ve seen the movies.” “Okay, you’ve seen the movies,” she flops down next to me.

“I’ve heard the songs.” “You’ve heard the songs.” “Will you stop that?” “No.” “I’ve done the research!”

“You googled ‘hot tiddy’ twenty eight times a week.” “Lord save me,” I look up at the bright sky and try to ignore her, “how does a girl get from point A to point B? How does anyone get a girlfriend.” We both glance over at each other, a heart beat passing between us like a whispered curse word. She moves her shoulders up and down loosely, “hell if I know.” We go back to look up at the limpid blue sky.

-----------

“Did you find work?” My mom was rearranging her herbs cabinet.

I lean on the doorframe and watch her frizzy brown hair get caught in her shirt collar, “getting there.” I say slowly. “I’m thinking Barnes and Nobles.” She glances up slightly and puts her oregano next to her sage grass, “your aunt messaged me last week that leo’s were going to have a month of wealth.” It was probably too bad in my mom’s universe that I never felt like a leo, “sure, send aunt Maude my love.” I say flatly and drum my hands on the countertop.

“And to watch out for bad smells!” My mom hoots, “that’s why I’m making sure our spices are in order.” “Good mom.” I turn toward the door, thinking better about having come in there in the first place. “Tell your brother to turn his video game down too, you know how I hate those gun noises,” she moves the sage grass next to the mint leaves.

“I will,” I sigh heavily, “and mom,” I glance at her, she manages to crane her neck over as she messes with her stray hair caught in her collar. I sigh again, “Nevermind.” “Have you fed your fish?” I nod, “Chubs is… good.” She nods, “that fish is lucky, you know he is. I got him from Todd.” Todd was our previous next door neighbor who sold weed to my mom (for medicinal reasons, naturally), he gave his betta fish to us before he left. He had two, the other one's name was Ganja.

I crossed my fingers, “I’ve been feeling luckier already.” “And take your cloves!” She says hotly, “I’ve seen you buying more kleenexes.” I roll my eyes and turn toward the basement, “I know mom!”

I haven’t taken my cloves in months, but I had started eating gluten against in April and felt better than ever, so there was that. Gluten, of course, was one of my many allergies on my moms ‘Felicity List.’

I hated her Felicity List.

I end up going down the next hallway, completely failing in asking my mom the one question I wanted to know: how did you meet dad. How did he meet you- and then how does anyone meet girls? How do you do love without a proper script for it.

I end up just knocking on my brother’s door, “turn it down!” I holler, “your call of duty is making mom’s aura black or whatever.” “Fuck off, dump-truck.” I scoff to myself, my brother was at the age where he discovered that he had something to say, and it suddenly didn’t have to be good things. Or even decent things.

“Robbie, Dana says she’s gonna kick your ass and I’m tempted to let her.” I just hear a series of yelling and gunshots on the other side, “wear headphones you brat!”

“Like I have to listen to someone who leaves their bloody panties o-” “I’m coming on in!” I rattle the door. “And I’m telling mom if your essential oils are in the trash again.”

“Fine, fine!” He says shrilly, “I’m putting headphones in.” He mumbles something rude after that but I just shake my head and move on, I had a game plan to continue to make.

I knock before entering the basement and coming down the stairs two at a time, “that was a bust!”

Dana was sitting in our beanbag chair looking at her phone, “I suppose ‘I told you so’ wouldn’t help?” “You haven’t told me anything in the eleven years we have known each other,” I wag a finger at her and she sticks out her bottom lip.

“How’s the moodboard of love going?” She jutts her chin out toward my open notebook, I blow air out of my nose. “It’s mood is ‘bored’.”

“Ooh, good wordplay.” “Ugh.” I turn over to flop into my own bean bag chair next to hers. “Love is fake and being gay is…” I frown, “hard.” “Haven’t you heard? The het-ys will also say being straight is hard too.” She doesn’t look up from her phone.

I cover my eyes with my hands, “any insta news?” “Mari hasn’t posted anything since the 911 post about her finding a new top from that consignment store,” Dana nudges me with her foot, “but Paula from phys ed is starting a girls rugby team and posting about it, and it’s,” she lifts her eyebrows, “kinda hot.”

I sit up straight, “is she…?” “Still dating Patrick Ludwig or whatever, but my point still stands.” I tutt and click my tongue, “a good one fallen.” Dana laughs and a turn over on my stomach, “what’s the other game plan?” Dana puts her legs in the air, “research.” She winks, “there’s this episode on Netflix that’s supposed to be hot.” “That we haven’t-” “That we haven’t seen.” I put my finger in the air, “play it then!”

“Say no more.”

We turn on ‘Vegan Cinderella’ about two girls and no story plot.

Of course, the two leads get in one glance at each other and then get together. No one ever really tells you how you skip from noticing each other to straight up crawling all over one another. There is no in between.

I try to take notes.

------

It was a lazy summer, a bright one, slow, there were a lot of things I was trying to piece together and tear apart again. Mainly, why I was in Pet’s World, standing in the fish food aisle. It was like reliving a bad dream I kept having.

They were playing ‘Call me Maybe’ like some sort of summer throwback to two years ago and I was feeling resentful.

I had Dana in my ear, I clear my throat and whisper, “okay, repeat to me again what you want me to say.” Dana clears her throat, “well hey there sugar lips-” “Nope.” She lowers her voice, “Why don’t you bring some candy over to daddy.” “So unhelpful.” “That’s what I said my first time,” she said from outside, I could almost see her smirking at me from there.

“You did not,” I say indignantly, “you gestured and stuttered and maybe flashed her once, that’s the true story.” “You’re right. Please flash Mari S for me, like full on vag and/or areola.”

“I hate you.” “Muah,” she blows a kiss my way and I shake my head.

“This is why we aren’t dating.” “Gross. I’ve known you too long for that, that’s like kissing your cousin.” “Also gross.” “You need to fly little bird!” Dana yells into the speaker, “spread your wings and take your clothes off in a public Pet’s World. Full areola. Maybe a little ass, all of your thighs.” “I’m just going to ask her if they have any job applications.” “Boooo-” I hang up on her.

My breaths come out harsh and uneven, I prop myself up anyway and ignore the hamsters in the next aisle giving me the side eye from their cages. I had a girl to figure out how to date.

I walk up to the cash register, it was eleven in the morning so the store was particularly empty and I was feeling particularly bold after chugging one and a half Dr. Pepppers. I wasn’t allowed sugar or caffeine as a child so it tended to have a more profound effect.

Mari seemed to be glancing down at what I assumed was her phone, I was looking out at nothing as my eyes unfocused in a sort of last resort defense mechanism. I force myself to plant my feet in front of her cash register.

It takes her a moment to look up and it takes me a longer, much more uncomfortable moment to say anything. She was looking at my empty item-less hands.

“Do you like working here?” I ask in a monotone. A beat passes where her painted eyebrow arches, I fumble the ball in midair. “I mean, I’m looking for a job is all.”  ‘Is all’ is still a cute phrase, right?

Mari leaned down over the counter and stuck her tongue out slightly, “honestly? Love the animals, but customer service will fucking drag your soul out through your ass.” I gulp, “so I’ve heard.” I rack my head for sentences, or words, or singular intelligent sounds. My phone buzzes as Dana must be watching me from the outside. I wipe my hands down, “but the animals, right? Sounds fun.” I offer weakly.

Mari gives a half-smile, “it’s pretty chill, I get 20% off dog food, so I guess it almost works.” I grin, “what kind of dog do you have?” Mari raises her eyebrows even further, “a lab.”

“Cool!”

Another beat drops and the silence drags on a little bit as I try to come up with something like a sleeveless magician. Mari taps her nails down and tilts her head to the side, “his name is Bruce Lee, like the actor since my mom was super into martial arts after she got freaked at a store robbery. It wasn’t even her store.” I take a deep breath in and my heart sort of soars, “that’s cool. Bruce Lee? I love dogs.” Was this working? It felt like it was working. “Yeah,” Mari gives a half-smile, “they’re the reason I work here at all.” She shakes her head, “honestly, I could just leave the people out altogether.” I laugh and it almost doesn’t turn into a snort, “tell me about.” Mari grins again and looks me up and down, I almost explode. “Did you need that job ap?” I shrug, “I’m still deciding.” Hard to get, hard to get.

“Well,” she huffs and looks up at the ceiling, “it might be nice to have someone who isn’t obsessed with the bachelor to work here.” I could have bounced on the soles of my feet, “you got me pegged. I don’t even like roses.” I was supposedly allergic to them. She just clicks her tongue with a slight laugh and takes something out, “go for it then.” She hands me the job application. I nod and run out of words in my word orchid to grab from, I take the piece of paper and turn around instead. “Thanks then.

“Sure.”

My eyes dart back and forth and then I bite my lip, turning slightly, “See you then.” “Definitely,” she waves, I wonder if this is flirting.

I practically run back outside as I try to chew on what this all means, my shoes skid across the exit like they’re going to burn up and a run around the corner of the building to bend down and tear at my hair. “Mppmph!” I squat down on the ground where no one can see me. “Mmmph!” I hear someone skipping up from the left.

“How was it? How’d it go?” Dana circles around me enthusiastically as she approaches, “did you do the dog-sign-virginity thing?” I throw my hands in the air and make another strangled sound, “mmph!”

“And she’s a winner!” Dana goes to high-five me and then ends up laughing. “I can’t believe you done it. Or something I take it.”

“Ah!” I let out something that was almost a whoop, “she said ‘definitely!’” I turn around in circles, “she thinks it’d be cool if I worked there!”

“You’re going to get married,” Dana clapped her hands and I ignore her.

I almost fall down on the pavement right there, “to Deadman’s truck!” I point to our hill, “we have to tell me how I to actually get a job.”

Dana laughs and then covers her mouth, “I can’t believe you wouldn’t get a job to help me buy a car together, but oh, Mari Santiago is hot enough for it.” “So hot!”

“Let’s go then,” she pushes me back to my feet, “play by play girl, play by play.”

I’m walking around in circles, “she has a dog!”

“No duh.” “He does martial arts!”

“Slow down there.” We walk to our hill and I can’t stop talking, one step at a time, one little step at a time.

-------

I didn’t know what to do with Mariana Santiago. She was there, toned and surly and goth gf material one moment, and then super surly and unreadable the next.

I really did need fish flakes for Chubs the next day (my brother tipped over a whole bottle of it the night before) and Mari doesn’t even look at me as I walk by. She’s outside leaning on the wall. It seemed to be her break, she was holding a cigarette and inhaling deeply, I hold my breath.

“Hey,” I don’t know what to do with my hands at that moment, or what I’m doing at all.

She barely looks up, “oh hey.” She looks back down at her phone.

“I applied for the job.” She takes a look time to respond, “good.” She takes a drag, “Brian has been complaining like one of the broken parrots about being short-staffed.” I bite my lip, “think I’ll get it then?” Her eyes flick up and down, I wish I wasn’t wearing my loose Bob Ross tank top that day, “you’re breathing, aren’t you?” I shrink a little at that but try to grin, “last time I checked.” She shrugs, no laugh, “You’ll do fine.”

I wait for something more, but Mari looked like she was several miles away and not at all walking. I start to turn away, “well… bye. See you in the store, maybe.” She waves with her lit hand and then is typing something, “break a leg.” Point A to Point B was a confusing little road that went up back and around, Mari Santiago, queen of the goths, apparently had a lot of detours.

-----------

Day One: Two Words

Our shifts don’t line up the first day, I accidentally ring something up three times and get softly chewed out by an old lady.

My hair is a mess, I sneeze five times when an extra hairy mop-dog walks in. I try to discreetly take a white allergy pill I got from a friend while a teen boy with a sweater vest judges me. I drop an entire bag of seeds I was scanning, but luckily it doesn’t break open.

I stutter, a lot. And my perspirant only lasts for half the day before my sweating is back, but of course, I do see her at the end.

She comes in, shaking her chin-length wavy blue hair and her black boots clunking on the employee room floor. I barely have time to look up. “You survive?” She asks dryly with her lips twitching. I could have whimpered.

It was one of her smiley days, where her dimples almost appeared, I end up just nodding mutely before shrugging my bag on my shoulder and turning.

I remember to skedaddle on out of there, I needed to play hard to get, I needed to mostly fix my hair and change my shirt.

-----------

Day Two: 13 Words

We discuss the fact, again, that Mari’s boss loves the bachelor, and she hates it. “It’s the worst thing to happen to love since the Twilight series.” I don’t really know what to say to that, so I try to channel my inner Dana, “hets, amiright?” I don’t mention my brief Twilight phase.

Her eyelids are blue that day, iridescent blue to match her bangs. “Okay?” I’m not sure she understood what I meant, it’s then rush-time on Saturday with puppy training hour going on in the back of the store. I get slobbered on and ask to change registers when my eyes get as red as a fire hydrant.

I didn’t mention on my resume that I had any allergies, mostly because I was hoping all of them were fake instead of just most of them. My mom picks me up that day and I don’t let Mari see me sneak into her car with my nose leaking like a faucet.

--------------

Day three: five sentences

My feet hurt, my head hurts, my back hurt, but mostly my feet hurt.

Eight hours, eight hours of standing and staring and I finally understood the phrase ‘counting down the seconds.’ Sure, something like social studies class was bad, but that was just fifty minutes.

This was four hours straight with a couple breaks thrown in, I think I might start to lose my mind by closing time that night. The store was dead quiet, the shadows growing on the walls and the pain growing in the soles of my feet, I always did have weak ankles.

I shift from side to side, rueing my ungrateful body and counting the number of squawks were coming from the bird section. Mari was standing a few registers away, but she hadn’t said anything that night, I hadn’t been feeling ‘me’ enough to start anything yet.

But I hear something, “hey.” I turn jerkily at her voice, my eyes going wide, “hey.” I barely look at her.

“How you holding up?”

I chew on something for a long minute before catching her eye, “my feet hurt like I stepped on a series of legos at a gynos office.” She laughed, a real life where her teeth showed in a goofy way, “oh man, definitely.” I grin, “I think they may soon fall off.” She shakes her head, she taps on her own converse, “insoles.” She says, “insolves my friend.” I nod with my face going a little hot, “are those new shoes?” Her dimples show a little bit, “nah, but,” she bounces her eyebrows up and down, “I did just spray paint them..”

I told her about my feet and it’s the longest conversation we ever had.

----------------

It was 11am on a Saturday and I was lying on bed going through my nail polish, I owned three, and one of them was sealed shut. I feel someone throwing a kleenex in my direction.

“Okay,” Dana calls over, “but tell me if she really has a soul jar in her room of the spirits of our classmates she’s cursed.” I roll my eyes at Dana as she swirls around in my my black office chair I got from a yard sale. I push my glitter blue nail polish away, “She’s not like that.” “At least confirm to me that she’s a wiccan, like, I’m 69% sure she is since she keeps posting hand-drawn summoning circles on instagram,” she hums, “but you never know these days.” “We haven’t got there yet,” I pause as I try to recollect all the details I had gathered from work, the recon mission of a life so far. “She spray-painted her converse recently.” Dana spun another two times in a circle, “black or purple?” “Black, also,” I go to swat at her, “get that look off your face.” Dana kept going, only pausing to poke my with her sock, “what face?” She kept holding her mouth like it had a crooked secret.

“The judgy face,” I wrinkle my nose, “I know she’s not your type.” She puts a hand over her heart, “when have I ever judged anyone? Ever?” I get up from the bed and start to walk over, “When have you have ever judged anyone?” I put my hands on my hips. “Strike you down now?”

Dana puts another hand up, like a girl scout taking a pledge, “strike me down now.” I grin and take another step forward, “and the Lord has spoken!” I flop down on her lap forcefully and spread my limbs out. “Oof,” Dana pretend gags as I sit on top of her.

Dana tries to push me off, “you are waaaay too bony for this Feli,” she tries to grab me around the waist and I flail my arms around with a laugh, she dodges my elbow. “You’re gonna take my eye out!”

“Oh, and she never judges,” I poke her and sit more firmly down, “she takes her punishment like a saint.” “Sainthood is a given,” she makes a stoic face and I laugh. “You may strike me down,” she starts spinning, “but can you hold on?” She pushes off the wall and the chair wobbles. “Dammit, Dan!” I grab the chair’s arms and we start going around and around in rapid circles. “I’m allergic to motion!”

“I know! Along with oats and milk and glutton and dogs and earwax, woo!”

I start to jab her with my elbows and we’re cackling and probably disturbing the neighbors when my phone buzzes, an actual buzz that almost made me jump out of my skin.

“Woah!” I fall halfway out of Dana’s lap as she slows to a halt.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” I hold a hand over my mouth, “motion sickness?” “Look at that!”

I go to read the notification and my eyes go huge. I had a new follower on my instagram. “No.” My mouth falls open, “no!” “Someone’s on the smash-cash train, beep beep,” she makes a train noise and a scramble over to the discarded iphone 6.

“What does this mean?!” I look at the fact that ‘shoelaceslace’ had followed me back on instagram. My mouth was still open, “what does this mean?!” I feel someone push on my shoulder roughly, “it means your on course for SS Macktown, occupation goth lipstick stains, hot damn!” “Shut up,” I push on her back, “never speak again. I’m having a crisis.” “Lactose crisis level or like, still failing social studies crisis?” I start gnawing on my bottom lip and then a flop down on the bed, “does she like me?” “Does she not like you?” I kick my legs up and down and then roll back and forth on the bed, “well she doesn’t hate me!”

Dana laughs and calls me an idiot, “nobody’s gonna dislike you. You’re like, only 2/3s dislikable at any given moment.” “Dan,” I say shrilly, “I need to post something cute.” “Post about your favorite punk band.” “Something cuter.” “Post about your huuuuge crush, the one who works at a pets store and likes MCR.” I throw her a pointed look, “what?” She pushes her bangs back, “it’s the direct route!” I sigh, loudly. I was good at the dramatic. “Fine.” I try to find the best picture of me from my trip to Albuque, “point B here I come!”

“You’re gonna message her?” I throw her a blank look, “no.” I say shrewdly, “I’m gonna very very slowly crawl into a date through my picture of me holding a butterfly in a pavilion.” “Boo.” I try to mentally get on that train again.

-------

Sunlight hit the back of my neck and I felt a sizzling under my skin, my work bag hangs over my shoulder with my cellphone, lunch, and water bottle. I tap my foot angrily on the carpet and my mom looks me over.

I was standing outside my kitchen with my arms crossed over my chest, my left eyebrow was twitching and the floor smells like mildew and peppermint. “I have to.” My mom’s back was turned to me and I could hear the noise of my brother’s gun game from a room over, a distant ‘pew pew’ that was even starting to grate on my nerves.

My mom started to pick up a scented rag, “and what?” She frowns at me over her shoulder, “what am I going to do with all that wasted time?” I roll my eyes, “I never said I was actually going to the spiritualist. It’s a Sunday! I have work.”

“Felicity Laura Munez it is already booked.” She was balling up the rag in her hand. “I never said I would go!” My mom slits her eyes at me and I wouldn’t  be surprised if she started hissing to ward off the negative energy around us. “Sometimes it feels like you just aren’t trying.” She says it lowly, it was worse than a hiss.

“At what?” I say dryly, not meeting her eye.

She puts her palms up, “at our relationship! I asked you to reschedule for this last week.” “For the last time,” I stomp my foot, “I’m not sick, I don’t want to go to this spiritualist.”

My mom puts a hand through her wild gray-brown hair, “then what about all the lethargy? You almost flunked freshman year, and you know you were eating so much bread that year.” I rolls my eyes, “I don’t want to have this conversation again.”

My mom put her hand out, “it’s just for an hour-” “You wanted me to get a job,” I hitch my bag up on my shoulder and feel a little cool. “I’m going to go to my job.”

“Felicity!”

I turn hotly on heels and scurry out before I lose my nerve or let my mom finish her next sentence about considering all the mood swings I had from last year. It had to be that red meat I ate, didn’t it?

I’m still scowling and red in the face by the time I walk to the Pet’s World, my head is spinning and I can feel my insides prickling. “She always has to insert herself, always has to make a thing out of everything,” I start muttering to myself as I made my way into the back of the store.

I had the same shift as Mari that day and she seems to see me coming in, my phone is buzzing.

“No mom,” I picked it up furiously and start speaking, “I don’t want to do this right now, just go by yourself, that’s what you usually do.” She lets out another string of words about meridians and not doing crew for the school play this year if I don’t get myself together before then, I end up hanging up. I angrily punch in just as another pair of shoes come up next to me. They were spray painted black.

“Hey,” I jump, realizing that Mari is standing right next to me. She looks me over steadily, “you good?” She points to the phone I am almost crushing in my fingers. I nod slowly, “my mom’s just being… out there.” She snorts, “I can tell.” She puts her hand out and my skin tingles as she brushes my elbow. “Need to blow off steam?” She offers slowly, “I’m going to go to this place after work with some friends.” “Oh,” my eyes go wide, “Oh!”

I suddenly had a lot to thank my mom for, and yet nothing at all.

Mari nods, “I get it.” She sniffs, “My mom pisses me off all the time, plus,” she grins. “I saw you like PBR.” I remember the joke post I made a year ago of a beer can.

I nod again.

-----------

I had two hours between when my shift ended and when I was supposed to be over at Mari’s, my heart was still racing. “Dana!” I called out from my closet, “tell me what to wear again.” “Nothing.” “No, the other thing.” “Hello Mr. President outfit.” She wasn’t looking up as she seemed to be trying to send twelve text messages all at once. I was on crew, and Dana apparently needed to update everyone on the theatre group chat about me. And my new love life.

“Uuugh,” I start to groan, “I need to look cool. Actually cool.”

Dana throws me a thumbs up, “you’re getting there.” I groan again and walk around in circles, “Okay,” I take a deep breath and gesture down, “black jeans.”

“Check,” Dana was nodding languidly as she typed.

“Blue ripped t-shirt.” “Sure?” “Just sure?” I almost tear the rest of the shirt off.

Dana jammed her phone in her back pocket and walked over, “your gonna do fine Feli,” she straightens her overly large sweater, “this is obvs going somewhere.” I cover my eyes, “straight to hell.” “Only if you sweet talk her just right!” She cheers and I walk around in another circle.

“I’m not cool,” I groan, “not like her. This can’t work.” Dana rolls her eyes exaggeratedly, “I think you’re cool.” I pause and glance over to her, “really?” I adjust the straps on my shirt.

“Well,” she scratches her neck, “Okay, technically I think being cool is overrated. But we’ll stick with the first version if that’s what’ll make you feel better.” “Oh-ho-ho,” I whimper and go drag myself to my bed. “This is why being gay is so hard. Only one in five of us is at all cool.” Dana shakes her head, “being gay makes you cool!” I frown at her deeply, “gimme some examples for me though. Do I even have funny stories?” Dana Kim stroked her chin thoughtfully before putting her hands in the air, “you refused to get into my grannie’s pool for the first five years I knew you because you said you were allergic to chlorine.” “Yes. Hilarious.” “And when you finally went in you did a cannonball! And threw up chips into the pool noodle, that was great.” I almost flip her off, “So I’m retiring at the ripe old age of 17. From life.” “Don’t be melodramatic,” she comes over next to me, “I thought it was a hilarious. We were super buddy best friends after that.” I let out a deep breath and glance over at her, “you think the word ‘weiner-dong’ shouted out in math class is funny.” She snickers, “I do.” I go to grab for my coat, “Mari doesn’t. She barely thought Finding Nemo was funny when we watched it in IB Spanish last year.” “That’s because she’s laaaaaa-” “Don’t say it.” Dana blows air out of her nose, “I know we, the gays, don’t have a lot of options-” “Don’t say it.” “But just be yourself Feli,” We both sit up and she puts her head on my shoulder, “it won’t be worth it if you aren’t.” I look up at the lazily spinning ceiling phone and go to grab my phone, “I’m wearing my combat boots.” Dana just snorts.

-------------

So I was at a party. A real party, a party party, with music and people and drinks with words I couldn’t pronounce on them. And I was suddenly very very aware I was alone there.

There was a thumping bass coming in through the floorboards and a whole slew of people I didn’t know standing on either side of me. The house was a rundown place I had to take the bus to from Wadsworth street and apparently owned by someone’s older brother.

There weren’t that many people there yet, but I was too busy counting the carpet hairs to really appreciate that. Dana had waved goodbye to me at the bus, wishing me all the luck in the world and seeing me off. I suddenly desperately wanted to hide behind her as she blew a raspberry to ‘lighten the mood’ at rundown parties like this.

I stare at my shoelaces again.

“Hey,” I hear a voice call, “hey, Felicity.” I feel the ice in my gut melt and I see Mari waving at me from an armchair across the room, thank God. I had been let in earlier with a couple people, but they said they didn’t know where Mari was, I creep over slowly.

“Hey there,” I put on a small smile, “thought I came to the wrong place.” She just shakes her head, she’s looking dimply and light for that night. “Nah,” she brushes her hair aside, “this is Jason’s place, he says we can hang here whenever.” “Nice,” I try to seem smooth and take a seat on the couch next to her. I search the air for a moment, “I’m glad we can hang outside of work. Less people asking me where flea collars are here.”

Mari gives an unknowable smile, she nods. “Have a drink.” She hands me an open beer and I try not to make a face at it. “You seem cool,” my heart soars as she hands it over, “better than anyone else Pet’s World at least.” I exhale and stifle my red face by throwing back the beer, it tastes like warm dirt. I shrug when I look back up, “A job is a job.” “Oh my God, yeah,” she rubs her nose, “my mom went on and on about how I had to do something this summer, like, come on. She’s lucky I don’t just drop out of school itself already.” “Right?” I try to sound sympathetic, the silver bracelets clang on Mari’s wrist, I can’t stop watching her mouth move. “One more year though.” I do a cheers with her with her our open cans.

Mari clinks with mine, “I hope.” She shakes her head, “I would just run away with my dog if I could.” I sit up straight and smile, “Bruce Lee?” I offer shyly, “where would you take him?” “Anywhere,” she wrinkled her nose, “dogs are better than people, I could take him anywhere and be alone and it would be better.” “Yeah,” I nod, but I’m shifting back and forth in place. I didn’t know what to ask her, did she like theatre? Did she like Skyrim? Books about outer space? She didn’t like people apparently.

“What about you,” she turns to me slowly, “where would you go?” I search my head, “New York?” That sounded neutral.

Mari takes another sip of her drink, “right on.” She nods, “what’s there?” I put my head on my shoulder and try to look nonchalant, “broadway and less hay fever.” I joke.

Mari lifts her eyebrows, “I’ve been meaning to ask about that,” she looks me over, “is that what all the sniffling was about?” I freeze, she had noticed.

I gulp dryly, “grass seeds here,” I gesture around in the air, “it totally fucking sucks at work.” She eyes me, “I bet.” My skin crawls and I wished I could bring up something we both liked, something that wasn’t hay fever. “My mom is totally lame about it though.” Mari’s eyes focus on me.

“What, she tell you it’s all in your head?” Mari’s lips were curling up, I had a feeling there was a story though.

“No, she makes me take like, fifteen supplements a day, and most of them aren’t even FDA approved,” I feel the rant start bubbling up out of me, “and I swear, one of them gave me awful cramps for a week.” “Supplements?” She looks me over curiously and I wish I hadn’t mentioned cramps.

I shift on the lumpy couch, “like, uh, cloves and herbs. It’s hippie-” “Oh man, I wish my mom bought me more herbs. I have to do all my wicca shopping offline, and that was before she took away my credit card.” My heart sank, something was feeling off in my gut, I take another huge sip of my bear and try to disappear into the heavy beat of the bass.

I wasn’t feeling very cool.

---------------

“Because he’s a jolly good fellow, because he’s a jolly good fellow, oh!” I was clapping my hands and singing along with everyone else, my head was fuzzy. There was something stuck on my jeans but I hadn’t bothered to take it off yet.

Someone was whooping and there was a bottle on a table, I felt like I was in some 80s movie where the cheesy pop ballad was playing that showed I was having ‘fun.’ I wasn’t sure what I was having, but I hadn’t thought about what I was saying for at least an hour now.

“Woo, good song mate.” Someone clapped the person who’s turn it just was, having been tasked to sing any song he liked for two minutes straight. He gave them a thumbs up after his very drawn-out birthday song.

There were cards spread out on the table and I was leaning Mari’s shoulder as my thoughts spun round and round. She was texting on her phone and someone was pointing.

“Mari’s turn, Mari’s turn!”

“I’m busy.” She waves her hand in the hair and I’m giggling into nothing.

“We should get a dog… and put it in a hat,” I’m mumbling, which I’m grateful for when I remember this moment hours later.

“Have her do it then,” someone jostled my shoulder. “You’re Mari’s friend, right?” I just nod unthinkingly, it was nice not to think. “I’m Feli-Felicity.” “Spin the bottle girl!” Someone puts my hand on a large brown bottle and I look around to everyone.

“As long as I don’t get the joker,” we were playing ‘cards spin the bottle,’ whatever card the bottle landed on you have to do. Ace was chug a bear, king was kiss someone, queen was order someone else around for the night (if they got a 2). Joker was act an embarrassing moment from your life.

I give the brown bottle a mighty spin. Someone whispered from beside me, “Get this kid some water.” Someone hands me a water, which I chug as we all watch the head of the bottle go around and around. I watch it steadily as I try to catch Mari’s eye again, she isn’t looking up.

“There it goes!” My eyes snap back into focus and the lip of the bottle slows one inch at a time, my eyes go wide, it hovers to a dead stop.

Someone claps me on the shoulder, “Woo! That’s the seven.” I lick my lips again, “what’s the seven again?” I look both directions, someone snickers.

“That’s seven minutes in heaven sweetie.”

My eyes go a little wide, “oh.” “Mari,” one of the older boys slaps Mari’s back, “Mari, take your little gayling to the closet.”

“What?” She blinks up, her pretty brown eyes framed by purple eyeshadow that day. Someone points down to the bottle and she makes a slight face, she glances back to me and I feel myself go pale.

She observes me for a moment and then takes my arm, “I guess I’m the chosen one.” She smiles a little bit and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

I stumble up and try to follow her to where someone was holding open a closet door and people were making woof whistles.

“Seven minutes,” someone cheered and held up their phone watch. I’m not looking at them, I’m looking at the back of Mari Santiago’s neck where her little dark neck hairs mixed with the blue ones.

I shiver, “you don’t have to-” The closet door swings shut just behind us and I try to find myself among the mess of impulses and sudden realizations. Is this how you get from point A to point B? Is this how you get a girl.

We both sit down at once and I open and close my mouth a for a second, “you don’t have to do anything.” I say wetly as I swallow.

Her eyes shine a little in the dark. “Duh.” She takes out her phone again, she’s not looking at me.

I struggle for something, for something. “You go to the play last year?” I almost want to bring up that the light effects were all me.

She just shakes her head, “nah.” My stomach sinks and I realize something that I didn’t want to say. I look down at my hands and flex my fingers back and forth.

Mari blows air of her mouth and I look up, “but, look.” “What?” I say too loudly for the cramped space.

“You’re actually pretty cute.” My mouth is open, but nothing comes out, she leans forward and flicks the hair off her forehead, “the crush is kinda cute.” I hold my breath for a long second and before I can protest that it I hoped I wasn’t too obvious, it all gets cut off. “Let’s play, they all want us to.”

She reaches over and I feel a soft press of lips against lips, an electric feel of a kiss in the dark, at a party with something buzzing through my system. I close my eyes and wait.

And wait.

Something swirls and chugs and sinks in me like the titanic, my face falls and the rest of me crumples from the inside out. I had done everything right, I had got the job, I had done the lines, I had gone to the party.

I went to the closet.

If I was with Dana I would make a joke that it was pretty ironica I was having my first gay kiss in a closet, but she wasn’t here. Instead, I had a grey empty feeling in the depths of my gut sinking in, no fireworks, no world-shattering touch.

Just, wet lips, cracked skin, the taste of mushy cigarettes and bad perfume. I try to lean into and tell myself this is what I wanted. But she tasted like smoke and something bitter.

I close my eyes and kiss a little harder, waiting, waiting, for it. I push her toward the wall and try again.

And then I hear a timer outside, “that’s it!” Someone calls, “come out love birds.” I look down at my hands again and Mari laughs, “woo,” she wipes her lips, “you’re kinda fierce,” she laughs again and I realize it’s because I pushed her back.

My first kiss was in a closet at someone’s house I didn’t know in a closet with a girl I had very very little in common with.

We crawl out of the closet and people laugh as I rub my eyes in the new light and Mari wipes her mouth. “Well that was something.” I start to stumble as I reach for my phone, “hey,” I wave, “I totally didn’t notice it was almost two.” Mari lifted her eyebrows, “was I that bad?” I laugh, “no.” I try to grin, “you were great.” I wink and she seems to preen at that, though I didn’t know how to tell her like it was nothing like I wanted. “But I think it sobered me up enough to realize that I’m super late.” “Well,” she turns around, “do you what you need to do.” I take some heavy steps to the door, “yeah… I’ll have to see at work.” My eyes are unfocused.

She’s shrugging and picking up her drink again, ���see you around.” I nod and purse my lips as I fumble for my jacket and someone hands me a water bottle as I head for the door. In retrospect I wonder why no one called me an uber or asked if I’d be alright, I start walking home alone.

------------

I’m sitting on a hill, the scratchy yellow grass under my ass and the faintest hint of the sun on the horizon, just a little golden light kissing the lip of the earth in the distance. I have two discarded water bottles next to me and I am staring blurrily out into the cityscape.

A clunky little yellow car passes in the distance and I wipe at my eyes again. The breeze felt barely there that day and something aches all over, especially in my chest.

I probably shouldn’t have walked home for an hour and a half, I probably shouldn’t have gone to sit on this hill, I probably shouldn’t have let my phone die after sending just one text. Another black car passes in the distance and hear the squeak of tires.

I lay my head on my arms and feel a dull pounding in the back of my skull, it was just one of those days. I feel my eyes droop down and only pause when I hear more soft footsteps.

“Feli?” I don’t react, I just clutch my dead phone in my hands a little harder. Dana wheels her bike up behind me and places it in the grass next to us.

“That bad, huh?”

I glance up ever so slightly, she was still wearing her striped pajama pants and a sweater from the college her sister when to, plus an ancient dodgers baseball cap. I slump to the side and put an arm over my eyes.

“I guess we’re even,” I say hoarsely, my voice feeling raw and delicate. “What’s that,” she nudges me with her foot.

“Now both of our first kisses sucked.” “Lord Feli,” she reaches down for me, “you look like a mess, up you go.” I groan at the hand placed in front of my face, “I’m still not feeling so hot.” “I know, I brought you water, an aspirin, and mouthwash.” That gets me slowly teetering to my feet. “Sometimes you are a good friend.” “Always!” She defends with slight laugh, “plus I want the juicy trainwreck details.” “It wasn’t a trainwreck,” I take the aspirin from her and chug it down. She grumbles something about ‘getting drunk for the first time without her.’ “It was…” I fade off and sigh heavily instead.

“Come on,” she takes my arm, “let’s get in the back of Deadman’s dead truck.” I stop in place and try to take the mouthwash from her instead, “I thought we both agreed that thing was haunted.” Dana adjusts her backward baseball cap, “then let’s go make friends with a ghost. It’s a night for firsts.” “Day,” I correct and start swishing around mouthwash for a minute.

Dana messages her temples, “in the truck. In the truck.” She chants and I make an exaggerated slumping motion before following her to the back of the once blue vehicle.

We climb into the truck bed and the thing creaks and heaves at us as we settle in among the vines and rust that decorated the inside. I wipe my hands down when we end leaning on the sides and staring at each other.

“It’s private now,” She leans forward, “tell me what’s up.”

I look off to the side, letting my headache pound softly and my heart sink. “There’s like four gay girls at our school.” “I guess,” she says slowly, “I’m still waiting one like, five of them to come out. You’ve seen the way Patsy looks at me.” “No, I mean,” I push my bangs back, “there’s only like five percent of the whole entire population that’s girls that like girls.” I frown deeply, “and how many of those are we actually compatible with? That actually live near us?” I feel my eyes welling up.

Dana reaches over, she takes my hand and squeezes it firmly, “Come on Fel,” she says softly, “look at it positively, I know you’re a romantic deep down, I’ve read your blog.” I feel the water started leaking out, I wipe at it angrily, “I’m just saying!” I rub my eyes down ruthlessly, “the odds aren’t even in our favor.” Dana’s face squished up into something indescribable, “I don’t think it’s good to think about.”

“I am thinking about it!” I mope back, “I’m thinking about how much I thought I liked Mariana Santiago and the fact that she’s just like… a super different person than me.” “What did you expect?” “Daaaaan,” I whine, “not helping.” She scoots closer to me and weaves our fingers together, “maybe that’s just how it is, maybe it’ll just be a little hard for us.” She holds my hand tightly, “but it’s not like it’s over. It’s not like… we can’t try again. That we can’t just look around us.” I raise my eyebrows and peer over to her, “look around us?” She shrugs loosely and doesn’t meet my eye, “if you think it’s not gonna work, then it’s not gonna work, you have to believe that it can happen Fel. Aren’t you supposed to be the positive one out of us?” I start to hum deeply, “and aren’t you the silly one of us?” I ask softly and she scratches her chin.

“We’re all a lot of things,” Our eyes meet hesitantly, she sprouts a grin, “and it sounds like you just had a really really bad first kiss.” I slump over, “and now I work at Pet’s World with her.”

Dana laughs with her hand over her mouth, “that is kinda funny.” “It’s kinda sad,” I hang my head, “I’m never gonna find love. Like, ever. I’ll go to college a virgin, and leave that way too probably. Maybe I’m not even gay?” “Ugh,” Dana pokes me, “sad Felicity is the worst.” She pokes me again, “she doesn’t even listen.” I lift my head and our eyes meet again, I see Dana searching for something there. “But I’m also the stupid one so what do I know.”

I lean toward her, “can I be the stupid one too?” She grins softly and I join her, “oh, you can definitely be the dumbest.” “I guess, I just have to,” I blink a couple times, “look around me.”

She opens her mouth, and then closes it, she bites her lip before almost stuttering, “Only if you want to…” Dana blushes delicately and I feel her squirm next to me, I feel my lips turn up. “I’m sure. What were you always saying? I just have to try.” We both stare at each other for a very long minute.

Something creaks in the truck, it moves me. I lift her hand up to my lips, kissing the knuckles there gently and I feel something I didn’t know existed squiggle in my gut. I wait for her to lift her chin again and then I keep leaning forward.

“Dan,” I say slowly, “only if you want to.”

We pressed forward and Dana gasped gently as I kissed her, small and perfect across the lips and I feel a tingle go through something deep inside of me.

It was a little dry and off center, but my heart had picked up this time, it melted and oozed and maybe I was sweating a little bit too much. But I feel it, the electric slide, the commercial in my heart that was advertising the maranga.

The little pinwheel that kept going around and around in my head that jammed and stopped, I kissed her, and the whole thing froze. The sunrises in my mouth and the fireworks shoot off as our lips move against each other.

We part for a moment before coming back together more firmly and harsh, she takes my face in between her hands and we come together like that for a long long moment.

She only snickers once into my mouth, “you, not gay?” She lifts her eyes with a snort, “ridiculous.” I bite my lip and look her in the eye, “Actually,” I say, “totally straight,” I kiss her bottom lip, “but I’m sure you could convert me.” She takes my hand, “I’ll do what I can.” She scoots closer, “We could call it a summer camp even.”

I look her up and down, “I always heard everyone at band camp was gay.” She wraps her arms around my neck and hoods her eyes, “we’ll have to make music then.” I push on her shoulder as I laugh and shake my head, “don’t be a dork.” “Make me!” We come together once more with the sun our back and rust on my jeans, but there’s something sweet and melting inside of me, rising at the same time. I kiss her, and I somehow make it from all the way behind the finish line to the start.

There were so many more points to reach.

[vixensheart]

Earth

“The Earth laughs in flowers.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Water glistened as far as Allura’s eyes could see. It was a magnificent sight; droplets of light shimmered where the sun kissed the waves, and Allura could see elegant creatures leaping above the surface in the distance. It was picturesque, just as Lance had said.

“Allura!”

She blinked, turning towards the familiar voice. Lance trotted down the beach, a radiant grin warming his features. He was shirtless, a sight that made Allura flush. “Yes, Lance?”

“Come on, you’ve gotta check out my sandcastle.” He snatched her wrist, tugging her along with him with glee. Allura felt her lips curve up in a smile, and a light chuckle tickled her chest. Lance led her to the rest of the Paladins, who were all lounging around on the sand.

They’d been back on Earth for approximately a week. Everything had been a whirlwind; various meetings with government officials, reunions, debates, and general exhaustion that was beginning to catch up with them all. So when Lance suggested a day at the beach, nary a soul objected.

“See!” Lance said, gesturing with exaggerated grandeur towards a mound of wet sand. Allura raised a brow and cocked her head.

“Oh...it’s...lovely.”

“Thanks! I made the windows from seashells.”

Allura had nary a clue what a seashell was, but she smiled anyway. The more she looked at the, er, castle, the more it began to make sense. Sort of. She looked to Hunk, he was building a similar structure. His had a more building-like appearance, though Allura was still baffled. “You two are very creative,” she surmised. This earned her a few chuckles, and a pout from Lance.

“What, you don’t like my castle?” he said with a pout. Instinctively, she clasped his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“No, Lance, I think it’s lovely. Really.”

Lance beamed, and Allura was breathless.

“Come on, let’s look for more seashells! I wanna make a tower.” He led her back to the shoreline, his giddiness beginning to wear off on her. Hand-in-hand, the two practically skipped across the sand, ocean water splashing at their feet.

The next hour was spent searching for these so-called seashells. Lance showed Allura one; it was white, flat, and circular. When she brushed her fingers across it, the surface was rough, like sandpaper.

“It’s called a sand dollar,” he said. “Sometimes, when you bust them open, you can find little white doves.”

“What’s a dove?” Allura asked. “A sea creature?” This earned her a laugh.

“No, ‘Lura, a dove is an earth bird. There aren’t any real ones in the shell, just white things that look like them.”

Allura rolled her eyes and huffed. “Well, obviously. It’s too small to house a creature. I just don’t know all the names you earthlings have for your creatures.”

A warm hand enveloped her shoulder, and Allura blinked, her gaze captured by ocean blue irises. “Don’t worry,” Lance said, “I can tell you all about them.” Usually lines like these were just part of Lance’s arsenal of cheesy pick-up lines, but this time, there was a gentleness to his tone and a softness in his gaze that Allura could see. It made her heart flip a little in her chest, and her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“Here.” Lance pressed the sand dollar into her palm, clasping his hands around her own and forcing her fingers to curl around the shell. His skin felt warm against her own, and Allura admired his slender fingers. She smiled at him.

“Thank you.”

The twinkle in Lance’s eye was impossible to ignore. “You’re welcome,” he said. They were close; Allura could see the freckles sprinkled across the bridge of his nose. She’d never noticed them until now. They reminded her of the many constellations they’d both flown through, and the memories made her feel warm inside. They’d fought together, side-by-side, and freed the universe from Zarkon. And now, here they were, alive and well on a beach on Earth.

“A-Allura, I-”

“Hey, guys! The food’s here!” Hunk’s call interrupted them, drawing the two apart. Allura could see a hint of a blush staining Lance’s face, and there was a flicker of a scowl that rippled across his features. It vanished as soon as it appeared, and Lance slipped his hand in her own.

“Come on,” Lance said, “let’s get some pizza.”

Allura rolled her eyes and laughed. She never understood the bizarreness of Earth-food; it was always something new and different. Hunk had insisted on ordering whatever this...pizza was, despite Pidge and Keith complaining that pizza wasn’t adequate beach cuisine. Allura didn’t mind, though, she was enjoying the Earthen experience.

The crew tucked into their food, Lance quietly and eagerly explaining what pizza-making entailed. Allura listened contentedly. She knew Lance was aware that he didn’t need to explain everything to her, but he was so eager to share his culture with her, she couldn’t help but revel in his happiness. His smile was addicting, and Allura still hung on every word.

She could get used to this; life on Earth.

“‘Lura?”

Lance’s nickname for her brought an unbidden smile to her lips. She met his gaze, marvelling at how his eyes shimmer. “Hmm?”

“You okay? You seem a million miles away.”

Allura chuckled. A sudden bolt of courage coursed through her, and Allura found herself lurching forward. She pressed a kiss to Lance’s cheek, much to the shock of everyone around them. Lance blinked, a smile creeping across his lips.

“I’m fine,” Allura said. “Now hand me some of this pizza you’ve been telling me about.”

Lance obliged, his eyes sparkling and his cheeks flushed. Allura sighed happily, leaning into him as she nibbled on her meal. Yes, she certainly could get used to this.

This is a day late, but oh well. Have it now. XD

-Kat

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): Before His Birth, His Birth and His Childhood

The Event of the Elephant

It was soon before the birth of the Sun of the Universe (PBUH). People were flooding into the Kaba during Hajj season from all over the region.

The fact that the Kaba was filled with plenty of people disturbed some people. One of those resenting it was Abraha Ashram, the governor of Yemen of the Abyssinian ruler at the time.

In order to prevent the rush of people into the Kaba, Abraha had a church built called Qulleys in the city of San’a with the aid of Byzantium emperor. He went to all the expense of decorating inside with gold and silver. The outer side of it was decked out with extremely precious jewels that he had brought from various places. It was so much so that the church he had built had no match anywhere else!

Abraha was planning to attract people’s attention into here with all this ornament and embellishment. So, in the end, he was thinking of breaking the favor people hugely had with Kaba.

After the building of the church was completed, Abraha wrote a letter to the Abyssinian ruler to gain his approval further. In the letter, he wrote:

“I have had a church built for you such that neither Arabs nor Farsis have ever made something alike. I shall never halt unless I make here a place for Arabs’ pilgrimage.” 

However, all the expenses and efforts of Abraha came to nothing. Many people came to see the unique embellishment and gorgeous structure of the church. They came but only to see its beauty. The number of people visiting the Kaba did not diminish but increased.

The Fouling of Qulleys and Abraha’s Decision

That Abraha had a magnificent church built to alienate people from the Kaba was heard by the Arabs as well. In the meanwhile, someone named Nawfal from the Qinana tribe had made up his mind to foil this church. At one midnight, he went to the church foiling inside and outside of it and then turning back where he came from.

This incident exasperated Abraha further, who already flew into a rage with the fact that people still favored the Kaba. On learning that the one who foiled the church was an Arab, he swore with fury by saying; “Arabs did it since I made some of them turn away from their Kaba. So I shall raze it to the ground.” Then he prepared to advance towards Mecca with the intention of tearing the Kaba down. He asked the Negus of Abyssinia for the famous elephant, Mahmoud, to be given to him. The Negus met the demand of the Negus and sent him the elephant, which was then matchless in terms of size and power in the world. 

Abraha prepared his army and set off toward Makkah.

He started to proceed to Makkah with the elephant called Mahmud in front of the army.

Meanwhile some Arab tribes opposed that big army but they could not succeed in stopping them; they were defeated by Abraha.

When Abraha came somewhere named Mogammish near Mecca, he sent a group of cavalry to spearhead the attack.

Cavalrymen made their way into Mecca and extorted the herds of the Quraishians and Tikhamese, including two hundred camels of Abdulmuttalib, the grandfather of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). 

At that time Abdulmuttalib was the head of the Quraish tribe.

Abraha and Abdulmuttalib

Abraha sent an envoy to the Quraishians to deliver his message:

“I am not here to fight you, but to tear the Kaba down. If you do not resist me, I shall not shed your blood. Let the chief of the Quraish tribe come to me if he does not want me to fight against him.” 

Abdulmuttalib’s answer to the envoy was as follows:

“We swear by God that we do not want to fight him. We are not capable of that anyway. The Kaba is not ours but it is God Almighty’s. Only God Almighty can protect it from being ruined. If He shall not protect His holy home, we have no power to dissuade Abraha from his attack.” 

After this talk, Abdulmuttalib and the envoy went to Abraha.

Abdulmuttalib had an imposing appearance. Abraha felt an involuntary respect toward him. He treated him as an honorable guest and asked him what his wish was.

Abdulmuttalib stated his wish: “Your men took my two hundred camels. My wish is that they be returned to me.”

Abraha did not like it and spoke mockingly; “When I saw you, I thought you of being an important man; I soon realized that you are not so when you started to speak! I am here to demolish the Kaba which is your and your forefathers’ temple. You are not talking about that but you are thinking of your two hundred camels.”

Abdulmuttalib spoke recklessly; “I possess my own camels; the Kaba has its owner and protector. He is sure to protect it.”

“Nobody can protect it!” Abraha shouted.

Abdulmuttalib replied calmly; “I am not interested in that; this is between you and Him!” 

After this conversation, Abraha gave Abdulmuttalib’s camels back. Later on Abdulmuttalib left there and came back home in Mecca and told the Quraishians all about what had happened. Besides, he put on a mark on his two hundred camels to be sacrificed to God.

Mecca is evacuated

Abdulmuttalib recommended the folks to evacuate Mecca to protect themselves from the cruelty and oppression of Abraha and his army. He went to the Kaba with a couple of people with himself. He clung on to the door handle of the Kaba and prayed; “O my Lord! Even your servants protect their homes. You protect your own home too so that this army may not come out victorious.” 

Mecca was evacuated. The natives began to take shelter on mountain hills and solitary places and to wait what Abraha and his army will do.

Everyone was worried about what was going to happen.

The Army is Ready, But…

It was the morning of the following day.

All the preparations were completed in the army of Abraha that was about to destroy the Kaba. The army was waiting for the order of “March!”

The year was 571, seventeenth of the month of Muharram, on Sunday.

At the moment the army was to move, a man named Nufail Bin Habib, who then acted as a guide to Abraha, bent down to whisper into the ears of the great elephant Mahmoud:

“Mahmoud! Kneel down! Turn back where you come from without being hurt. You are in a place where God Almighty deems holy.” 

After he whispered those words into the ears of Mahmoud, he ran away to take shelter in a mountain.

After Nufail’s words, the huge elephant suddenly knelt down.

They resorted to any ways to make it get up, but all was in vain. When they directed it to Yemen, to Damascus, or to the eastern side, he was running; but when they direct it to Mecca, it kept kneeling down as if it had no power to run. 

At the moment when everybody was astonished at this sight, God Almighty sent the birds against the Abraha army called Ababel (goatsucker) from the other side of the sea.

Each of those birds was leaving from above three small stones as big as chickpea to the army. Every soldier to whom those stones hit immediately was severely wounded and died. 

The soldiers who met with the bombardment of stones were petrified with fear. The area was filled with men and animals lying around dead or wounded. Those who were hit with no stones started to flee around. Abraha was among them. But he, too, soon died because of a wound made to his body by a stone. 

Mahmoud, the elephant, survived due to its refusal to march into Mecca

Having perished the army of Abraha with stone-carrying birds, God Almighty cleaned the area with rain, which later dragged the bodies into the sea. 

God Almighty informs of this event in the Holy Qur’an.

“Have you considered how your Lord dealt with the people of the Elephant? Did He not bring their evil scheme to nothing? He sent down upon them flocks of birds (unknown in the land), Shooting them with bullet-like stones of baked clay (an emblem of the punishment due to them), And so He rendered them like a field of grain devoured and trampled. (Al-Fil Surah, 105:1-5)” 

This event was a proof to Muhammad’s (PBUH) prophethood. Because, God Almighty saved his future homeland and the place he was to turn his face towards from Abraha’s army before he was born.

The mercy and wisdom of God Almighty would not and did not let the Abraha’s army destroy this honorable place out of His love to His Beloved Prophet (PBUH).

[zacekova]

Of Bees and First Impressions

Summary: Tochiro was standing in the doorway, his hands pressed together as if in prayer and expression appropriately grave, eyes closed in a display of sorrow. “And so lies the great Captain Harlock, brought down long before his time by a lowly bee. May he rest in peace.” Harlock threw a pillow at him.

Pairing: Harlock/Yama|Logan  Characters: Harlock, Tochiro, Yama|Logan 

@ruledeargremlinchild, since you were wondering what fic that line came from, even though I’m pretty sure you’re not in this fandom even if you’ve seen the movie... 

(His feet are stuck to the sidewalk, frozen in place with the force of the universe pressing down on him. Fate has brought him here - some fortune beyond his wildest dreams has aligned the stars to make this moment happen, to create the magnificent creature he sees through the glass. Eyes like the ichor of the gods, rich and gold and flecked with sprigs of summer green, and a smile as dazzling as the sun on the sea. He is ruined before he remembers to breathe again.)

Harlock looked up when he heard the door open.

Tochiro was standing in the doorway, his hands pressed together as if in prayer and expression appropriately grave, eyes closed in a display of sorrow. “And so lies the great Captain Harlock, brought down long before his time by a lowly bee. May he rest in peace.”

Harlock threw a pillow at him.

Tochiro managed to catch it and clutched it to his chest like a string of pearls, scoffing with all the prideful airs of a refined lady of pedigree. “Rude! And after I’ve come all this way to you in your time of need. I thought we were friends.”

Harlock shook his head, hoping the hair falling over his face was hiding his smile. “Yeah, yeah. Did you get my text?”

Tochiro reached into his jacket and pulled out a Brown’s bag with flourish. “As requested, only the finest of gas station food for you.” He tossed it over, brow furrowing when Harlock caught it and started opening the packaging with glee. “I still don’t get how someone who grew up like you did can like those things. Even I think they’re disgusting.”

Harlock bit back a grin and turned his nose up, chewing through a mouth full of deep fried, greasy, delicious mushrooms and swallowed with as much dignity as he could muster. “I’ll have you know I have highly refined taste.”

Tochiro’s expression went flat. “Right. Okay. Say I believe you, how do you explain that?” he said, gesturing at the stained bag in Harlock’s oily fingers.  

He grinned. “Palate cleanser.”

Tochiro laughed, shaking his head and sitting down on the mattress by Harlock’s knees. “Alright, whatever. Weirdo.”

Harlock smiled, the remaining tension in his nerves finally settling under the familiar cadence of teasing banter and Tochiro’s comforting presence; he always made Harlock feel better.

Tochiro smiled back and rotated to lean his spine against the foot of the bedframe. “So you wanna tell me how you ended up in here?”

Tochiro also made him hate his life. “Uhh.”

(There’s dirt on the young man’s hands, caked under his fingernails; it should be gross but he can’t find it in himself to care when those same fingers are also so slender and graceful, dexterous and delicate as they sort through the stacks of papers on the desk and hand him a colorful pamphlet. “Hi! Welcome to Gaia Botanical Gardens! Would you like to join our next tour group or would you rather explore the grounds on your own?”

He glances at the schedule up on the wall, then at the analog clock beneath it - the twelve-thirty tour is to be lead by “Logan.” He turns back to the employee with eyes like melted caramel and scans for his name tag. A smug smile graces his lips when he finds it. “A tour would be lovely.”)

The door opened before Harlock could make up an excuse explain anything, revealing a tall, young man with shaggy hair carrying a tray, various snacks and drinks scattered across it. “The cafeteria didn’t have any ice cream left but there was some pudding,” the guy was saying. “I don’t know what kind you like so I just grabbed one of- Oh. Hi.” He had finally caught sight of Tochiro sitting on the bed with his leg wedged in next to Harlock’s and eyebrows raised in curiosity; his eyes flicked between the two of them, expression neutral.

Harlock jumped at the chance to change the topic. “Logan, this is my friend Tochiro. Tochiro, this is Logan. He was kind enough to drive me to the hospital.”

(Oh god, you’re swelling. You’re really swelling. You need to go to the hospital. Shit. Shit, where’s my keys?”

Harlock gestures vaguely toward the kid’s back pocket. He’d seen the outline of what was probably a ring full of keys (and, yes, he had been staring, could anyone really blame him? Those jeans were tight ).

His larynx is going to start constricting any second now. He’s going to start dying and the last thing he’s going to see through his rapidly-swelling eyes is Logan’s flushed cheeks and frantic pocket-patting.

Totally worth it.)

Tochiro smiled nice and easy because he’d always been the better of the two of them at socializing and thrusted his hand out. “Hey, nice to meet you. Thanks for taking care of this guy for me,” he said, nodding in Harlock’s direction.

Logan smiled politely and shook Tochiro’s hand. “It was no trouble. My shift was over anyway and he didn’t have anyone to go with him.”

(You came here alone, right?”

Harlock nods, his cheeking knocking against Logan’s head where it’s wedged under Harlock’s shoulder, supporting his woozy self as they trudge as quickly as his wobbly legs can take them out the side door and through the parking lot.

“Anyone I should call for you?”

He’s panting, lungs working in overtime to get oxygen through his narrowed bronchials, but he manages to squeeze out, “It can wait till we get there,” his voice rasping and labored.

Logan nods and calls out to a pretty girl watering some flowers by the wall. “Nami! Clock me out, will you?”

She looks up, eyes widening. “Uh sure. What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you later!”)

Tochiro’s eyes pinched in curiosity. “Your shift?”

Uh oh.

Logan’s brow furrowed and he glanced over at Harlock where he was subtly trying to gesture for him to stop, abort, change the subject. Something. Anything . But Logan didn’t seem to notice and barreled on. “Uh, yeah, at the botanical garden? That’s where he got stung.”

Shit.

Tochiro’s head began to turn - Harlock could hear the creaking of his spine as it rotated, slowly, painfully; creepy and terrifying like a body possessed by demons -  and his eyes blazed with murderous, unholy fury. The monster had been unleashed. “You went to a botanical garden?” he asked, low and quiet. Dangerous.

Harlock resisted the powerful urge to flinch, but only just. “Umm… there were extenuating circumstances-”

(“A friend gave me a cactus once because he said, and I quote, ‘even you can’t kill this.’ It was dead in a month.”

Logan laughs, light and free like birds in the springtime, like the tinkling of a rocky stream, like angels singing from within the heavenly gates. Harlock must have been a saint in another life to be able to see this.)

“You dumbass!” Tochiro shouted. “What were you thinking?”

Nothing appropriate, but he wasn’t about to say anything.

(His work polo stretches taut over his arms as he lifts the massive flower pot and carries it out of the middle of the aisle. He has a tan line around his biceps, rich brown meeting soft pearl, and Harlock is weak.)

Logan’s eyes were wide, darting back and forth between them.

Harlock sighed. He had accepted this inevitability when he had knowingly walked through Gaia’s gate, trailing after his own personal Achilles. But no way was he admitting that to Tochiro. “I suppose I wasn’t,” he said.

Tochiro deflated a bit, as Harlock had planned, shoulders slumping. “Yeah, no shit.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. So you knew you were allergic to bees?”

Damnit. Harlock sent a silent prayer to the heavens for mercy; no one here had any in their hearts for him. But he couldn’t lie, not to Logan. “I… was aware, yes.”

Logan’s eyes widened in panic. “You idiot, you could have died!”

Harlock grinned, raking his gaze up and down Logan’s frame. “Well. The view was to die for.”

Logan flushed up to the tips of his ears, mouth gaping. “I- You-”

Tochiro’s nose wrinkled. “You’re not talking about the flowers anymore, are you?”

He wasn’t talking about the flowers.

“Yep, I’m out,” Tochiro said, raising his hands in the air and heading toward the door. “You two lovebirds are on your own.” He paused in the doorway and turned to give Harlock a thumbs up behind Logan’s back before disappearing.

Logan’s jaw was still unhinged, looking at Harlock in blatant surprise, and Harlock smiled.

(“Well it looks like you’re going to get your own private tour!” he says, still smiling with all the brilliance of a newborn star. “If you don’t like crowds, you definitely picked a good time to come in.”

He cannot think, can hardly breathe, but somehow words come out of his mouth in coherent form. “I’m just on my lunch break.” His heart is racing, beating against the cage of his ribs so hard he’s surprised Logan hasn’t commented on it.

“Must be a long lunch break,” he says.

Harlock hums and doesn’t say that he’s definitely going to be late clocking back in. “And what better way to spend it?” he does say, eyeing Logan appreciatively.

But Logan’s gaze is on a bed of gerber daisies and he doesn’t seem to hear the suggestion in Harlock’s tone, already moving to explain how the aqueducts carry water to the whole garden.)

“I suppose I was a little too subtle with my… interest in you?” Harlock asked, hoping he wasn’t going to have to spend the night comforting himself from a rejection on top of recovering from a severe allergic reaction. He might need more mushrooms.

Logan’s jaw slammed shut and his eyes darted away. “I- Yes. You were.”

Harlock nodded and leaned forward, getting himself in Logan’s line of sight again. “Is that a problem? My being interested in you?” he asked, heart hammering in his chest. “Because I am. Very interested.”

Logan’s gaze roved over his face, expression going soft, relieved. “No,” he breathed. “No it’s not.”

Harlock’s heart skipped in his chest, the rhythm picking back up twice as fast as before. “Can I take you out for dinner?”

Logan nodded. “Yes. Yes, please .”

Harlock smiled. “Let’s get out of here.”

[powlokisdiary]

Wise up Wednesday! Oddball species - some of the oddities of this world. One thing i have noticed, as have many others, is that i tend to love the more bizarre looking species that this planet has inhabiting it. Don't get me wrong I love all animals, but some of my favourite species are just bizarre looking or are relatively unheard of by most people. I have no idea why i like them so much, or why i'm more drawn to liking them over the more 'normal looking' creatures 😂 So I have tried to come up with a list that consists of just 6 animals, 1 from each of the 6 basic animal groups (these are: invertebrates, mammals, birds, amphibians, reptiles, and fish), that i considered to be my favourite. It has been one of the hardest lists i have had to come up with 😂 Without further ado, i present my top 6 oddball species! And yes, these are real! #1) Sarcastic Fringehead (neoclinus blanchardi) - fish representative Other than its prehistoric looking exterior and the fact it kind of looks like the creature from Star wars episode 1 at times (the gooberfish/opee sea killers just incase anyone was wondering what i was on about), it hides a rather colourful interior that is revealed as a form of elaborate defensive display. It's mouth is literally a giant rainbow umbrella! Now if that's not cool then i don't know what is! #2) Pink underwing moth, the caterpillar to be precise (phyllodes imperialis) - invertebrates representative I find all moths beautiful, and this one is no exception. It looks a weird sooty grey colour overall until you see the striking fuschia pink underwings that stand out from a mile off. But it's actually the caterpillar I adore as it has a rather interesting defense mechanism. It has a 'painted skull' style marking behind its head that it will show to imminent threats by tucking its head around into its belly. I like to call them sugar skull caterpillars as they remind me of the beautiful painted skulls from the day of the dead celebrations. #3) Hellbender (crytobranchus alleganiensis) - amphibian representative Literally a giant salamander with beautiful mottled patterns. I love salamanders and axolotks anyway, but the supersized versions are just so cute! So this animal (along with the chinese giant salamander) are just definite wins for me 😁 the fact that amphibians like these are so endangered as well makes them all such rarities that deserve attention. #4) okapi (okapia johnstoni) - mammal representative A rather odd looking creature that looks like several animals mashed together. These aling with jerboas have intrigued me since i saw them in an encyclopedia when i was in primary school (so since about 6/7 years old). I wrote a science paper in year 2 about them and nobody believed they were real until i brought this encyclopedia in to prove it! They are such secretive animals that utilise 'disruptive camouflage ' to break up its outline and help it remain hidden in the forest habitat. They have prehensile tongues and their closest living relatives are actually giraffes. #5) Hoatzin (ophisthocamus hoazin) - bird representative Where to start! Apart from the fact that when i was growing up this bird reminded me of the artists renditions of a prehistoric archeopteryx, this bird has a rather offensive nickname. They are called stinkbirds..... Cows take ages to digest their food because of what they eat right? Well these birds are the same, their diet of leaves are very difficult to digest, so much like the cow it has evolved with a foregut fermentation system to help it break down the tough plant matter, and its thought they are one of the few (if not the only) birds to have this adaptation. But because of their diet they also have a natural odour that smells like cow dung 😕 And the chicks have very prehistoric adaptations to help them evade predators, they have claws on their wings! They would normally nest above water so that when a predator approaches the chicks will just fall out of the nest into the water below until its safe. They then use these claws to climb up the tree back into the nest again. #6) rough backed litter snake (xenodermus javanicus) - reptile representative AKA The dragon snake, and its the only snake of this genus. These snakes have beautifully glossy scales with 3 pronounced ridges running down its back that make it look like the mythical beasts out of old stories. Their appearance alone just leaves people in awe. An incredibly rare snake in captivity due to the delicate nature, that coupled with the fact its so elusive in the wild means not much is known about its behaviours. It is considered as a 'real' mythical beast by many because of this. Some honourable mentions of critters considered for this list are: Gharial, devils flower mantis, goblin shark, mantis shrimp, saiga antelope, isopods, jerboa, fairy armadillo, aye aye, lamprey, siren, atlantic wolfish, lung fish, arowana, bichir, palawan binturong, mourning bird, frogmouths and potoos, trilobite beetles, banded linsang, chinese giant salamander, coelocanth, viper fish, angler fish, kagu, glass frogs, chinese softshell turtles, vinegaroon, and the solenodon. And believe me, this is a cherry picked list of the oddities i love! And they are all real creatures that are still alive today, with some deserving a lot more attention than they are getting. After the recent news of the death if Sudan, the last male noryhern white rhino in the wild (and therefore the fundamental extinction of this subspecies), I have made this wise up Wednesdays feature a focus on oddballs - most of which need help and acknowledgement before its too late. Just because a species numbers are not yet critically low doesn't mean we shouldn't be working on raising awareness about it or protecting it. Conservation of a species is a very complex isdue and its seemingly getting more complex with the amount of people there are on the planet. I think though that after reading about the coverage on sudans death, this issue has really been highlighted, and i personally have thought that there are 2 key elements as to why the entire situation is so unfortunate. The first part is obviously his death itself (because thats never nice) and the inevitable extinction of this subspecies - that is tragic no matter how you look at it. The second reason i find it unfortunate is the fact that only when 'all viable hope was lost' did so many people actually show acknowledgement to the species and the plights it faced, stating 'they were angry', or how much of a shame it was. But without his death many of these same people would not of known these creatures existed or needed help, and i find that a real tragedy because they didn't show this much compassion when more could of been done to prevent this. There are so many species on the planet right now that are in a similar situation and are likely to go the same way if we continue to give things such little acknowledgement. The amphibian crisis for example. Right now there is still time to prevent it from happening. There have been talks of trying to rekindle the lineage of the northern white rhino via artificial insemination, and the fact that this is a subspecies maybe warrants the involvement of other closely related subspecies to be involved in rekindling the lineage again. The southern white rhino is the other subspecies of white rhino and has a large enough population to entertain this idea. These are simply discussions i have read about in various articles so have no idea whether its plausible or not right now. The inclusion of such odd (and possibly incorrect) information though is to elaborate a point further, it was a subspecies with close relatives, so nominate races and other species still presently exist meaning it isn't entirely lost. Some species though are not so lucky, the sumatran rhinoceros for example is an entirely unique species with NO CLOSE LIVING RELATIVES. If this species was the one in the news right now there would be no chance of rekindling it. It would truly be gone, especially seeing as its closest relative was actually the prehistoric wooly rhino from the ice ages. What i'm basically saying is that it's a shame that so many species are not given the recognition they deserve when they aren't pretty much extinct. All species in my eyes are worth recognition and preservation - even the oddballs! So don't wait around until theres nothing left, many of these species are wonderful and so unique that it would be a shame to not appreciate them :) And with a little more awareness being raised i hope it makes more people realuse whats out there and how important it all is. It doesn't matter if its in abundance now, just don't make the mistake and wait till its pretty much gone before giving them recognition :) **images from Google as i haven't managed too see some of these wonders yet! One day i shall though, I would hate to not see these beauties!* www.facebook.com/TheLokiDiary #wiseupwednesday #lokisdiary