#anyway think I did pretty good on the body language here lol

[merge-conflict]

happier times

[frodolives]

1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...

🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow

the franklin expedition is dead as hell

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan

10,558 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all

#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh

659 notes

🎨 asherbrowndurand

Just painted this

2 notes

ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927

RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed

🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow

HERITAGE POST

📝 shakespearesforehead Follow

How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol

82,170 notes

🌄 loyalromantic Follow

poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/

#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect

6,884 notes

🎀 thefopdiaries Follow

I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling

📜 bartlebi-thescrivener

i think i hauve consumption

112 notes

🐋 whaler4life

They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME

11 notes

🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow

I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense

#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo

56 notes

🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow

🙈 butchbronte Follow

Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep

🙈 butchbronte Follow

I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily

8,027 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon

#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting

522 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH

#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....

2,309 notes

⭐️ newamerican

Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol

#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure

0 notes

[kihyunsflavor]

I belong to you

Pairing: Feyd-Rautha x f!reader

Summary: Your house unknown but a high-born and a Bene Gesserit, you get wed to the na-baron of Giedi Prime, Feyd-Rautha. It´s not easy with him and his darlings, but after some time it seems you are much to his liking. Is there a soft side hidden inside Feyd, only for his wife to see or will he treat you the same as any servant?

Warnings: arranged marriage (like all of them lol), smut, violent behavior, breeding kink, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, mentions of knives and blood, size kink

Word count: 3.5k

Authors note: English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes. Hope you like it <3

The bed was comfortable and soft, much different than the room itself with his stony, cold walls and the black interior. You were not asleep, just lying in bed with closed eyes. The current situation making you uneasy and sleep didn’t come easily. Next to that were the people standing in your room. You felt their preying eyes on your body even though the blanket covered you fully. It was Feyd-Rautha, your newlywed husband, with his darlings. There were three of them, being his concubines for quite some time. 

“She is rather ugly.” One girl spoke up, not even caring to whisper her words. They probably wanted you to hear it anyways. “Next to that she is a witch.” The other hissed. Feyd stayed quiet but you knew he had a big smile plastered on his face. You didn’t move nor open your eyes, you wanted to know why they suddenly decided to pay you a visit at this hour. Your husband hasn’t been in your chambers before, not even after marriage did he share the bed with you. He was spending time with his darlings and only having this annoying black teethed grin on his face when you ran into him.

“I think she is awake, Feyd. The witch listened to us since we came here.” 

The room was dark, no light coming through the big windows. This planet was very dim, caused by the industrial pollution and their black sun. One of the reasons why you missed your home planet so much. There you had fields of green grass, blue skies and people were dressed in colorful clothes. It was a warm planet, like spring and autumn combined. 

You opened your eyes and stared at the little group in your chamber. Your expression cold, showing no emotion. Feyd and his darlings kept your gaze, amusement hiding behind their eyes. Slowly, you sat up glancing shortly at the clock next to your bed. It was 2 am. “What is the reason you came into my room at this hour, my Lord?” You asked, annoyance showing through your voice. Again, this grin on his face. He hasn’t shared many words with you since you arrived on Giedi Prime. All you ever dream of is this exact expression. 

“My darlings wanted to take a look at my little present.” Present? No, you were not just a mere gift to him, but right now Feyd sought only to demean you.

He sat down on the edge of the bed to your feet, his eyes never leaving your face. He wanted to drink up every expression you were going to show him. But there was nothing. You had trained long, you were good at it. Instead, you shifted your eyes to his three concubines. They all looked pretty similar, only one of them had a big black bar on her forehead. Their skin was white, eyes fully black and their heads shaved, not a single hair on their body just like Feyd. You had heard they were the beauties of Giedi Prime - and they fed on human flesh. 

“I have been here for two months now. Did they not have the chance to take a look at me yet?” You replied. Feyd shifted next to you and your eyes fell back on him. He didn’t like the tone you were using. “Careful wife, that´s not how you speak to me.” You mustered his face, he appeared to be displeased by your reaction, not expecting you to talk back like this. He was a scary man, unpredictable and violent, but you were not an ordinary girl. Trained in the way of the Bene Gesserit, you mastered the Voice. There was no way you would give yourself that easily to him. “I apologize, husband.” Seconds later, there was a knife sitting at your throat. The cold blade grazed your skin lightly, but still breaking it enough to release tiny drops of blood. You were surprised by his sudden reaction and leaned back. Holding your chin high, you did not break eye contact with Feyd´s dark blue eyes. “You better shut your mouth!” 

It was a command. He wanted you to submit, making it clear he had full control over you. However, you simply stared back at him, not moving a muscle. This made him angry, but he didn’t change the pressure of his hold. “Do you want me to cut your neck, little mouse? I could slice you up right in this moment.” The grin wandered back on his face, making you uneasy. He was enjoying the thought of making you bleed. You replied after a while, choosing your next words carefully. “I will give myself to you completely, but it will be out of my own will, not through force, na-Baron.”

Feyd´s expression went blank for a second. He sensed something in you, something he hasn’t been confronted with before. Now snarling he said “You better do as I say, wife. I won´t think twice about staining these sheets red with your blood.” A soft smile appeared on your lips; it was not to tease him. With a calmer voice you replied “No, you won´t treat me like this. I am your wife, not a mere servant you command. I will submit to you, but you need to earn my respect first.”

During this whole time the three concubines just stood there watching you and Feyd. There was so much tension in the air, that they didn’t dare to interfere. But then Feyd leaned back on his heels and the knife left your throat. You straightened your back and touched your skin where it had been broken softly. Tiny droplets of blood stained your fingers, but it was not much. Suddenly one of the concubines dropped to her knees next to the bed. She looked at your fingers with pleading eyes. “Let me taste your blood, please.” You starred at her confused than back at your fingers. Thinking about all possibilities what could go wrong if you let her do it, you finally decided to let her lick your fingers clean. Reaching out to her, she immediately leaned forward to lap at them. For a second you looked back at Feyd, who carried his usual smile, enjoying the situation in front of him. But in the next moment the girl kneeling on the ground raised rapidly and tasted the fresh wound on your neck. 

“Go away!” Stripped of control over her own body, the concubine moved away from you. She blinked disorientated, trying to figure out what just had happened. 

“How dare you?!” The other concubines hissed, dripping with spite. Feyd was showing not a single emotion in his face. You directed your next words to the concubines. “You ask me how I dare? I don’t think I gave her permission to touch my neck.” Those standing looked to Feyd for help and protection, yet his gaze remained solely fixed on you. “Do you think you are better than us? We have been here for a long time. You are just a foreign girl.” They started to argument, but you interrupted them. “Yes, I think I am better. You may have been in his care for ages, but who is the one that will bear his heir? It will only be me.” Your response silenced them.

The room was quiet, you watched Feyd taking in your words. It appeared as though a realization washed over him, yet he wouldn’t let it go so easily. 

The knife returned to your throat, this time softer, drawing no blood. “I don’t like the way you treat my darlings. You are not yet with child, wife.” His eyes flickering between your eyes and lips. “And why is that?" You retorted sharply. "If you had devoted more time to me after our marriage, I might be carrying an heir now. But instead, you choose to spend your days and nights with them.” If he wanted to play a game, you certainly wouldn't hesitate to participate. 

There was anger and fury dancing in his eyes, yet nestled behind it, timid and faint, was attraction. You almost had him at your grasp. “And why is it that you have an issue with my behavior towards your concubines, but overlook their insults and disrespect towards me? This is not how I imagined Feyd-Rautha, the na-Baron, to treat his wife.” 

Feyd was taken aback by your words and let his hand with the knife sink down. You both held each other's gaze for a while, almost as if engaged in a silent communication through your eyes. It felt as though he had finally comprehended the entirety of the situation. Slowly, you tilted your head to the side, offering your throat to him in submission. It was the gesture he had been seeking - a sign of surrender. In the next moment you heard the knife hit the ground with a sharp clink and his raspy deep voice, dismissing the concubines.

Soft, wet lips immediately left a trail of kisses along your exposed neck. He made a grunting noise while inhaling your scent. You shifted your arms and laid flat on your back, opening your legs so he could just fit nicely in between them. Feyd made a noise of appreciation and continued his assault on your skin. “My dear little wife, being so obedient now.” When whispering, his voice sounded much deeper. It turned you on. His hands found your clothed breasts, squeezing them roughly, but as your hand caressed the back of his head calmly, he softened his touch. He raised his head and locked eyes with you before kissing you for the second time, since you arrived on this planet. 

The blanket was fully gone now, thrown into the last part of the bed. Your nightdress pulled up, so his hands had free access to your naked skin. Feyd enjoyed tracing the curves of your body, savoring every glimpse he could get of you. “Yes, so pretty like that. You like it too, don’t you, little mouse?” He grinned and his face moved closer to your face again to fully capture your expression in this dimly lit room. “I like it very much, husband.” “Feyd. Say my name.” His lips lingered over yours, waiting for it. “I like it very much, Feyd.” You repeated. A growl leaving his throat, he pressed his lips to yours. 

His right hand wandered down to your clothed cunt. He brushed over it, making you whine into his mouth. He grinned, slipping his hand underneath your panties and gliding his fingers through your heat. “You´re so wet, my dear. Is that all for me?” A moan escaped your mouth at his words. Oh how his deep voice and words turned you on. You were sure, he could make you come just with it alone. Not trusting your voice, you nodded. He watched you, as his fingers played with your sensitive area. Gradually, he lowered his lips, planting kisses along your cleavage, grazing over your nipples, and trailing down to your stomach. His fingers slipped under the waistband of your lace panties. “They are so pretty, but unfortunately, they have to go.” Feyd remarked.

After they were thrown onto the floor, Feyd leaned down between your legs, placing small kisses on your inner thighs. You arched your back at the pleasure and quiet whimpers escaped your throat. Feyd made his way to your pussy and gave it a lick, making you shudder. “You like that?” He grinned suggestively at you, revealing his black teeth. But he didn´t wait for an answer, instead he ravished you like a starving man. His big hands were placed on either side of your hips to keep you pressed into the mattress, since it was difficult for you to stay still. Quickly, two fingers entered you, moving slowly. Your moans grew louder, searching hands buried themselves in the black sheets. “I am going to come, Feyd!” Goosebumps spread all over your body, you were so close to your release. “Then come, little mouse!” He commanded and you let yourself go fully. It was a climax like you never had before when touching yourself alone. Your husband was definitely very skilled. 

After you had calmed down a little, Feyd loomed over you. His lips found yours again and he rutted against your body. Even though he was still clothed, you could feel how turned on he was. “Gonna have my way with you now, yea?” He chuckled, leaning back to pull his pants down. Your eyes widened at his length and thickness, as you starred at his dick. You began to worry how it was going to fit inside you. Feyd saw the change in your expression and bend back down, holding himself up with one arm next to your head, while the other pumped his cock slowly. “Don´t worry, dear. I will be gentle.” He planted a kiss to the tip of your nose and you locked eyes with him. His now gentle and tender actions made you wonder, if it was just a tactic to make you trust him. Despite this uncertainty, you didn´t sense any unease in your gut. 

You gave him a shy smile and your hands found his strong shoulders. “Will you put this off as well? I want to see you.” Your words amused him, he enjoyed the way you behaved. “Everything my little wife wants.” He answered proudly, feeling his ego boosted and leaning back to remove his shirt. You mustered his pale skin - it was white like snow. Curious fingers grazed over his muscles, Feyd placed his hand over yours. It made you feel safe. There was no longer anger or violence directed towards you.

You gazed at each other for a while, neither of you feeling the need to break eye contact. It was easier to read his emotions now, and it was clear that he wanted the same thing as you did. You freed your hand out of his hold and placed it on his strongly erected member. Gently, you started stroking him. Feyd closed his eyes and tilted his head back from the pleasure he was feeling. You tightened your grip, precome dripping out of the tip. It was such an arousing view. 

Suddenly Feyd gripped your wrists and placed them over your head. “I want to come inside you, little mouse.” He breathed huskily in your ear. You didn’t mind this at all, finally feeling his touch on your body was exhilarating. You had always desired his attention. 

There was some impatience in his movements now. Feyd stared at your naked body underneath him, while his free hand positioned your hips at the perfect angle. You felt yourself clamping down on nothing, wanting to be filled up by his pretty cock. “My love, you look irresistible. You won´t be getting any sleep tonight.” His husky voice sent shivers down your spine, excitement bubbling in your stomach. Before he entered you, he freed your wrists out of his grasp to support his own weight. You panicked for a second as it seemed like he was going to lean back, and you really disliked not having him close in this vulnerable situation. Feyd smiled, his face only mere inches from yours. “I'm not going anywhere.” He reassured you with his raspy voice and captured your lips.

Kissing him shifted your focus away from the pain between your legs, as he pushed inside your tight hole. “Doing so good for me, doll.” He hushed your whimpers, pressing you closer to his warm body. You felt safe in his arms, being able to relax completely. After he was fully sheathed inside you, he let you adjust to his size.

Blinking slowly, you opened your eyes and looked at him. His eyes were already fixed on your features. Small praises left his lips, before he loosened his hug on you and brought his arms next to your head. You felt so small when he was hovering over you like this. Not long after, Feyd started to move his hips. First, he was gentle and slow but as your moans grew louder, he quickened his pace. Your hands wandered over his wide, muscled back, fingernails causing small scratches to appear. The pain spurned him on. “They gave me such a perfect wife, taking me so well.” Your husband praised and placed a kiss on your forehead. You shuddered and felt your release being close. Feyd´s thrusts started to become sloppy and unsteady as well. He cursed under his breath and bit into your shoulder. You squeaked at the sudden pain. “Feyd, I am close.” You whispered. He lifted his head again and grinned. “Good girl, yea… I am close too.” He growled, his eyes turning even darker. You caught a glimpse of primal instinct in them, like you were his prey. “Come for me whenever you are ready, little mouse.”

Feyd pulled out completely, only his tip touching your entrance slightly. Then in a fast movement, he pushed inside again, going in so deep his dick kissed your cervix. You made a startled sound and in the next moment could only moan. He was hitting all the right places, which made you come hard. Your back arched off the mattress, while moaning your husband’s name in bliss. Feyd had waited for your climax until he let himself go and filled you up with his seed. “So good... so good for me.” He rasped, out of breath, still coming down from his high. 

You had closed your eyes, only opening them when Feyd was moving over you. He had leaned back on his heels. One hand was placed protectively over your stomach, while the other held up your leg. He watched his cum drip out of your pussy. When his attention returned to your face, he grinned slyly. “Not done with you yet.” You were quickly turned around on all fours. “Yes, stay like that.” Feyd´s body was pressed into your back and his dick rubbed on your ass. He was growing bigger and bigger every second. Calloused fingers found their way into your hair and he tugged harshly on it. “Going to fill you up again. That´s what you wanted, am I right, little mouse?” You could hear how much he enjoyed teasing you.

There was no time for a reply, as he pushed inside of you with ease and you couldn’t surpress the moan that escaped you at the feeling of the stretch. The sensation nearly stole your breath away and Feyd immediately set a rapid pace. In this angle he felt significantly larger and deeper than before. All you could manage were small whimpers in response to the overwhelming sensation. 

Feyd´s free hand, that was placed on your waist, landed a sharp slap on one of your cheeks. The pain made you hiss through clenched teeth and you turned your head slightly to look back at him. Pleasure and lust were written on his face and when you caught his eyes, a smirk appeared. “Don’t look at me like this, love. I know you liked it, clenching down on me so tightly.” He pulled your hair back, forcing you to sit up. Your back was pressed against his chest when he whispered into your ear. “Tell me how much you like it.”

A shudder went down your spine and you whined. He was so deep inside of you. With a shaky hand you pressed down on your lower belly to feel the bulge Feyd was creating. “It feels really good-ah!” You answered him. “You like it, when I fuck you like this, little mouse?” You could hear the smirk in his voice. “Yes, yes Feyd.” Seconds later your orgasm approached and you came hard on his cock. Soft lips were gently pressed to your cheek, while you tried to catch your breath. Even though his thrusts were harsh, abusing your insides, he still handled you with care.

His pace didn’t falter as he was hunting his own release. Your body went limp, but he held you up on strong arms, moving you back on dick. And again, he filled you up with a huge amount of his seed. 

He actually stayed true to his word of not letting you sleep the whole night. When a faint light filtered through the windows, signaling the arrival of morning, you had just reached your 5th or 6th climax. You weren't even sure because, at some point, logical thoughts ceased to form in your head.

Feyd laid you down gently as your eyes were closed from tiredness. He had fetched a wet cloth to wipe you clean. The coolness was soothing against your feverish skin. After he finished, you felt the mattress sink in as he laid down next to you. Protective hands wrapped around your middle, pulling you close to his body. "Mine," he whispered softly and placed a tender kiss on your temple. If you weren't going to fall pregnant after this night, you didn’t even know what to believe in anymore. 

[chigirizzz]

↳ ❝ teddy bear ❞

megumi, fluff, post argument, wrote this when i was sick lol

the plushie that was once in your arms was suddenly kicked by you, resulting in hitting the wall and falling on the floor, its face staring at you as if mocking you. the scene perhaps would be comical if it weren’t by your annoyed mood. no matter which plushie or pillow you hugged, no matter how many times you turned around in your bed, it seems that sleep wasn’t a thing you’d accomplish tonight. no matter which plush or pillow you hugged, nothing could replace the warmth of your boyfriend’s embrace…

it was your fault. it was your fault that you and megumi had an argument and now he’s on the couch just so he could give you some space.

your mind replayed the moments before and during the argument, hoping to find comfort in the pillow that you just grabbed. none of you raised your voices to the other—that is something neither of you could ever do—, but you still disrespected him.

you needed to apologize. he didn’t deserve to sleep in any other place that wasn't your shared bed.

megumi couldn’t decide which was more annoying: his arm going numb because his head was on it, or the stupid background laughter coming from the series on tv.

he couldn’t sleep. he didn’t want to anyway. the male pretended to not be affected by the argument earlier, however, knowing you were in your shared bedroom without him made him feel cold and lonely. the words that came out of both your mouth and his made him feel like his heart was being squeezed.

the facial expression you did when he offered to sleep on the couch described regret. it meant that, despite the stupid and unnecessary fight, you wanted your boyfriend to be by your side the whole night. however, he felt like this was the best option; to give you space and time to clear your head (and his too).

arguments between you two had happened before. it's a normal thing in any type of relationship, after all. but they still hurt.

a shadow appeared by the corner of his eye, making his fight or flight mode activate.

“oh.” it was all it escaped from his lips. it was you, not far from the couch, with your hands behind your back. it was hard to read your emotions, mainly because of the fact that the only source of light was from the tv. why were you still awake?

“did i scare you?”

“yes, you did.” the dark haired male scratched the back of his neck and fixed his posture. “need anything? did you have a nightmare?”

“no, no. i’m fine,” you answered, shaking your head. your voice and body language were way more calmer than earlier. “uh… actually, i came here to give you something.”

he frowned, confused. “what is it?”

you sat close to him. really close. your arms and knees touching, making his cheeks get painted by a light shade of pink. it was a nice and warm sensation.

megumi was never the type of physical touch until he met you. in fact, he's still getting used to it. he always appreciated his friends in silence, but never hugged them or anything (even a simple ‘i miss you’ or ‘i love you’ couldn't be heard from him). that was until your presence was written in the book of his life, adding a new chapter that completely changed his story.

“here.”

it was a teddy bear. a teddy bear holding a red heart and…a piece of paper taped to its arm?

megumi recognized the teddy bear. he offered you on valentine's day the previous year. he was all shy, scared that you were gonna think the plush was too corny. but all you did was grab his cheeks to pull him closer to you so you could kiss his forehead. i love you no matter what present you give me, is what you told him.

he caressed the bear’s ears. good memories flew over his mind, his heart now untangled and warm.

your arms were now around his arm, head resting on his shoulder. “read the note.”

sweet words could be read from the note. the handwriting was pretty and the choice of words was well done. you did you best to describe how sorry you were and how you wanted to fix things.

“i’m sorry megumi. i really am.”

“no… i should apologize too.”

“come to bed.” you tugged his arm so he could get up. “i'm tired but i can't sleep. today was tiring.”

“i don't know, the couch is actually really comfortable.” an attempt to hide his smile was made after telling you his joke.

“is this how you wanna play?”

he chuckled at your reaction. his laugh was music to your ears especially because it wasn't a very common thing from your boyfriend.

“not funny.”

all he did was ignore you and walk towards the bedroom. pretending to be offended, you jumped on his back to scold him. however, only laughter could be heard from you, making him smile even more. you will never let an argument ruin another day. you prefer moments like this one.

[dorims]

I like the way you make me feel (about you, baby).

gif creds @/cassandrahoward

pairing. roman roy x reader

wc. ~700

genre. fluff

just a morning before work with roman roy

tags. NO beta, english isn't my first language // established relationship, roman's low self-esteem makes a very subtle appearance, suggestive (one line), mentions of roman's slutty waist (literally)

a/n. i love him your honor, thats it. i was also gonna add that for some reason i seem to be keen of writing intimate scenes inside bathrooms but that come outs...weirder than it is lol ANYWAY i hope u enjoy !!

“I have a what?”

You could see the furrow of his brows through the mirror. It made you bite back a giggle, hiding the cheeky smile on your lips behind his shoulder.

“A slutty waist.” you mumbled against his work shirt, pulling him tighter against you. It was impossible not to interrupt his morning routine when he wore those shirts and those pants and when he looked way too good for your own good. Which, to be fair, was more often than not. Regardless, there was something about him in the mornings, when his tie laid over his shoulders unknotted and his hair fell over his forehead free of gel. 

“Uh…thanks?” He looked baffled while making eye contact, and you only broke it when he shook his head, your eyes teetering upwards to see his profile. “Between the two of us, I always thought you were the slut but oh well-“

“That's not how it works!” You laughed, slapping his shoulder lightly. He pulled your arms tighter around him gently, missing the pressure around his body when you stepped backwards. 

It felt good for you too. Feeling the warmth of him after fighting your way out under the comforter made up for being woken up at 6 in the morning by his alarm. 

“Well,” interrupting himself as his fingers fought the silk of his tie into a knot. “I don’t want to be the only one that's getting slut-shamed.”

“I didn’t call you a slut, I called your waist slutty.” 

“Oh, so you’re slut-shaming my waist, same difference.” He scoffed, basking in the way you rolled your eyes as you turned his body to face you. 

He wanted to complain as your arms snaked away from his waist but held back once he felt your fingers pick up both ends of his tie. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was some sort of weaponized incompetence or actual incompetence that didn’t allow him to tie it properly by himself. A mix of both, probably, but you always did it better than him. 

Plus, if he had to access some weird part of his brain, then he’d have to admit he quite liked it when you let it get tighter than usual before loosening it up.

“You say that as if you’ve never slut-shamed me.” You joked, pretending not to notice how he shivered when your fingers grazed his neck as you flipped the collar. 

“I don't slut-shame you, I slut-praise you.” Smirking as if trying to hide the effect you had on him, he quipped back. His attempt fell flat though. He swallowed down hard when you finished the loop of the tie with a gentle yet firm tug before smoothing it out.

“In that case, I’m praising your slutty waist too.” You let your hands trail down his chest until your grip rested on his hips. Gentle as always, your touch felt all too warm. The mushiness of being tired, you supposed. He thought so too as you pulled him closer, “And I’ll keep doing so because I think you’re,” and placed a gentle kiss against his and then hovering, intertwining each word with another. “beautiful and hot and gorgeous and breathtakingly stunning—“

“Oh fuck off, get out of here.” He broke into a bashful smile, cheeks tinted pink as you punctuated your affection with a kiss on his cheek.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty.” You sighed, pushing yourself off him to let him get ready, though not before lingering against the door frame. “I’m gonna make coffee, you want some?”

He chuckled, “You know we have people to do that, right?”

“I know,” you shrugged, “but I enjoy making some for you.”

You didn’t need verbal confirmation from him. Knowing the answer had grown into a pleasant habit, the same way picking the coffee he liked and using the same brand of low-fat milk had. 

You closed the door with a lovesickness unlike any dripping from a smile of your own. And if he had to access an even darker, twisted and weirder part of his brain, as he had done before, he would struggle to admit that the way you cared made him feel awfully warm, like hinting to the despair that gnawed at the back of his head that he wasn’t as unlovable as he thought. 

[quinn-pop]

let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo

this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.

this goes into a few things

1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol

2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.

3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol

vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)

unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.

i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.

it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.

just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that

but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims

remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible

1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.

2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)

3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that

one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo

(look at him and his magically floating glasses)

sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.

the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.

i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)

anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.

this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.

yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels

this is the conclusion i promise

to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…

autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.

if you actually read all this WOW thank you

[tiktowafel]

Headcanons for Neito Monoma?

yup here you go! tagging @fabpops1 because she also asked for Monoma headcanons

no coloring today because the one i made two years ago sucks and i don't feel like remaking it :'D honestly i feel like Horikoshi and I both half-assed his casual clothing sketch lol

him and his parents were all born in Japan but he has some relatives in Belgium, whom he really enjoys visiting. it's the main reason why he seems so interested in european culture (his profile page states he likes french cuisine and franco-belgian comics)

he can also speak french very well thanks to that

he's also fluent in english (though he has trouble understanding Pony sometimes - he's much better at reading and writing than he is at listening) and has a basic knowledge of several other languages. he doesn't really expect it to come handy at any point in the future, he just learns them because he finds it fun

besides that he also likes history, classic literature, theatre... yeah this guy is a huge humanities-leaning nerd and i don't accept criticism

nor do i accept the fact that he's supposed to be a bad student in canon?? like, he's so smart and also competitive, no way he isn't top of the class... he may not be as good in science and math as he is in japanese and history, but nothing an all-nighter can't fix

in middle school he was part of the drama and debate clubs. and while hero course students aren't supposed to join clubs because they should focus on hero work, he managed to argue his way into the same clubs in UA by saying that his theatrics and speeches are an important part of his hero persona. Kuroiro joined the drama club alongside him (didn't contribute to the argument at all, just nodded wisely every time Monoma presented a point)

class 1-B's culture festival performance being a stage play was actually his idea! it didn't really go the way he intended (he did NOT expect it to turn into a four-way crossover more ambitious than infinity war) but he greatly enjoyed performing in it anyway! maybe even too much

his knowledge of quirks rivals Midoriya's. he researches them a lot mostly to help his copy quirk but also out of genuine curiosity

he often helps his classmates with training their quirks and comes up with new techniques to try out. he's particularly good at it because he can actually try other people's quirks himself, which gives him a better understanding of how they function and what their limitations are

^ which is why i believe he'd make an awesome hero course teacher!! (in all might's role - i don't think making him anyone's homeroom teacher would be a good idea, he'd be just as biased towards his class as he is now lmao) it's definitely one of my favorite "future" headcanons

he praises his classmates' quirks a lot and says he considers them all great, but he does have preferences when it comes to copying them

his favorites are Yanagi's poltergeist (somewhat boring, but easy to understand and very versatile both in battle and everyday life), Tokage's lizard tail splitter (he almost died when he copied it for the first time because he barely managed to put his body back together before his quirk's time limit ran out, but that didn't stop him - he always found Tokage's quirk very fun and useful, so he put a lot of work into fully figuring it out and now he uses it pretty often), Shoda's twin impact (Monoma's physical strength.... leaves a lot to be desired, and the second impact always being significantly stronger than the first helps make up for it) and Kuroiro's black (you can move around very fast and it's fun :) )

quirks he does not like copying Honenuki's softening (fun, but quite difficult to control and avoiding collateral damage with such a destructive quirk is a pain in the ass. Honenuki understands that perfectly) and Shishida's beast (just... really not his thing lol)

for some reason i see a lot of people headcanon that he has pet ferrets, and you know what? i agree. he does seem like a ferret person

prefers smart clothing, a polo shirt is the most casual he'll go. he only ever wears tshirts for exercise (which he hates doing lol) and probably doesn't own a single hoodie

in general i think he has a good eye for elegant design... his dorm room is very stylish and nicely coordinated too. i think one of the light novels also describes it as "vaguely french" and yeah that fits

while he tries to keep his room neat and tidy on the outside, all his drawers and cabinets are horribly messy

he's that one kid who has like 17 different allergies and is completely useless if he forgets his meds on a spring day (spring is his least favorite season due to this. i think winter would be his fave)

luckily he is not allergic to dairy so he can eat as much stinky french cheese as he wants 👍

speaking of food i think he's a pretty good cook actually

prefers listening to older (and mostly foreign) music and is a huge snob about it

honestly he probably acts the same about movies and books too

arguing with people on the internet is one of his favorite ways to spend his free time. if there are no 1-A students around, you can always show off your impressive vocabulary by bullying random internet strangers with bad taste in movies!

almost everyone in 1-B considers him a friend despite his... anti-1a bullshit, because he's just really nice and helpful to people he likes + he's a great leader! however he's closest to Kuroiro (friendly drama king rivals! they're constantly arguing about dumb shit using the fanciest words they can think of and they're always trying to outperform each other in the drama club meetings they both attend, but they love each other trust me <3 also Monoma helps Kuroiro with studying because he sucks at school), Pony (when he's not trying to trick her into insulting 1-A he can be pretty helpful with japanese, he also likes listening to her talk about her home country), Honenuki (he's Pony's best friend, so you usually befriend them both at once, but Monoma thinks he's also interesting to talk to by himself) and Tetsutetsu (they don't share many interests but Monoma hates exercising so he has Tetsutetsu force him to do it. his positive energy certainly helps a lot)

ever since they got to know each other during their joint training fight, Monoma's been using 100% of his persuasion skills to convince Shinso to join 1-B instead of 1-A. Shinso is conflicted to say the least

aaand that's all i have for him! hope you enjoyed these!!

[egg-emperor]

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY Y'ALL????

Eggman isn't the overly physically affectionate gushing and throwing arms around people type, it doesn't suit his demeanor and behavior and I'm glad to see that hasn't been suddenly forced with Sage. And that's even aside the way she's still actually not a physical being in the way she's a digital program so he'd surely just phase through her anyway since I'm pretty sure there isn't a solid physical sense of touch actually going on here between them, but again that's besides the point anyway-

This isn't over the top and uncomfortable OOC like in fanon. I like how it's a subtle and small gesture, with him extending his arm with hand out to her but looking away and forward. He's quiet, solemn, and reserved. His demeanor and body language is very important. He takes a breath that seems like a "sigh well, here goes" kind of way then mumbles it, not much, just small words of praise towards her doing the very things he created and praised her for before- doing what he wants her to and serving her purpose as his protector like she protected him in the fight, and calling her his daughter also has the same effect in encouraging her and he knows it, as well as how it's appealing to him for his pride as he said in the memo.

Also wow his bear paws are so fucking big do you see what I'm saying god damn lol I wanna hold them so bad too ahhgufdbkgshj 🥰 Speaking of, this is literally exactly how I imagine such gestures with him in my self sh!pp!ng too and I think anything different would be OOC, this is the way that works in any form I think

It's very important to acknowledge that he's not shy at all, that's the last word to describe him. He has the highest self esteem, self love, and confidence and it's all genuine. It's just that hyper affectionate super warm and mushy gushy-ness, be it through feelings, words, or actions isn't his thing. The most he's ever going to hype someone up close to it is in a performative manipulative way to urge them to continue doing what pleases him, and he forces it in some cases more than others, you get varying degrees.

But I like how it's on the more subtle side here a lot because it's even more telling of his true character. When he's acting like this it aligns with that reasoning again but with a new look at his style of showing it in a physical subtle manner, with his behavior being similar to the scene where she saved him in Cyber Space and said he was proud of her for it- only it was only through words then. We've now seen how he can show this verbally and physically and I like it a lot, it's the only way this can work and they did it. This is the best outcome.

Let me elaborate further; I truly believe that he doesn't know how to feel the typical conventional idea of "love" for anyone but himself because he is the biggest egotist and narcissist in all of existence and is extremely selfish and y'all seem to be forgetting what that entails for his behavior and personality feelings, and mindset with his self absorption and low empathy. There are no sudden exceptions to this, Sage is literally just another perfect example of it, nothing has changed with him.

The only way he can value anyone that isn't himself is in what they can do for him, what's in it for him is always his mindset, so it's the same thing of self praising, self serving, and self-centered, just being served through another person appealing to that through serving him, agreeing with his outlook, and having a willingness to serve and good use to him. And guess what? That's still the exact reasoning behind it with Sage. This is known and true in the prequel comic, memos, and Flynn's words and hasn't changed.

And why wouldn't he be pleased with her for this and praise her for it when it goes along the exact lines of that?

It's in character because Sage is the one giving some thing to him, protecting him, serving him, and showing loyalty, support, and respect for his desires. She does exactly what he wants as she's created for and is genuinely willing and enthusiastic about it unlike a lot of other creations of his. Eggman still hasn't done shit for Sage except praise her when she does what he wants but then becomes grumpy and snaps at her every time she does something he doesn't.

In fact he does it again in this scene too where he's seemingly really jealous and pissed when he notices her looking at Super Sonic with admiration lol

It's selfish on Eggman's side and selfless on Sage's side, so it works.

That's why I still wouldn't put the word "love" to Eggman's side of the dynamic because I feel it has connotations that don't accurately define his feelings. Though you could at least say he "loves" and "cares" for her "in his… own way" as Sonic put it, because there's actually selfish and unsettling reasons behind it as Flynn himself put it too. But it's not hyper affectionate, unconditional, or genuinely selfless like people are acting like it is. And it's so much more interesting that way and fun to analyze.

Eggman commending Sage for her work and for serving her purpose makes sense and is in character. It's nothing different to the reasons I said the standard base game ending was. The only difference is a hand hold presented in the best way. He finally has a creation genuinely enthusiastic and willing to serve him and being her creator and father gives him a lot of pride for being the one to create her and make her that way and his success and pride in doing so with the ways she benefits him and values his selfish desires are what his value is factually rooted in in the game.

So overall yeah, I really like how Eggman and Sage and their dynamic were handled in this update. They'll probably be a lot more in depth thoughts to come because I'm short on time right now, this is a mini essay in itself but l have tons more like always lol. But for now, since nobody seems to understand my take on their dynamic despite me just relaying what the game itself showed and repeating what Ian Flynn says, let me just remind you of my actual summarized take on how I see it is and how I cleared up misconceptions people have about my take on it here.

And everything we saw in this update aligns with and doesn't contradict any of what I've perceived and analyzed and discussed throughout my Sonic Frontiers tag on my blog! Very pleased. 👏

[cunningweiner]

Regarding your petition for hcs.. bc I can't sleep, my personal hcs

Randy: After defeating the sorcerer the Nomicon calling him the "Last Ninja" He is the last one in the chain (making reference to the symbol in his shirt)

(A little non sense considering the 9 chapter thingy but ok)

He constantly forgets to covers up bruises and no one thinks anything weird because he has the fame of being kind-of adventurous (and stupid)

He makes up stories when someone asks him about them and recycles them. Sometimes when someone points out they already heard that, he convinces them into thinking they did not (art of manipulation nomicon lesson when)

His notebooks are full of doodles and drawings of lessons the nomicons gives him, and they're messy af

Has scars from fights that didn't end to well

He knows Japanese thanks to the Nomicon

He settled for having only one friend so his social skills are terrible.

Messy guy overall

Howard: Knows facts about everything, but not to the point of being an expert.

Knows how to read people (body language and expressions) ESPECIALLY Randy, he knows every habit of his, he knows him pretty well.

Has lots of "proyects" started none of them finished.

Has a scar on his back from the thengu incident (representing the wings)

He is never alone, let it be with his family or with Randy but he always has someone beside him, that's one of the reasons why he's has issues with being alone (it's weird for him) he feels bad when Randy tells him it's not a big deal (Randy's absent parents hc sorry for this)

Theresa: lots of friend groups but she doesn't feel like she belongs anywhere

Baby bat (interested in goth)

YES TYTYTY sorry for the slow response but okok here we go

I also kind of thought of him as the last ninja (lowkey disregarding secrets of the nine💀) but I got a different ask with some really interesting points so I’m kinda torn lol

Scars-having Randy is soso real to me. Also YES about him forgetting what he said and gaslighting people. That boy has so much brain damage I know it KNFHD

Him keeping a notebook full of the doodle lessons from the nomicon is sooooo good. Also him learning Japanese from it????? 10/10. I hc him as part Japanese but I don’t think he was taught any growing up (true wasian experience tbh) and I think he was really happy to learn

Howard is suchhhh a socialite but nobody ever talks about it??? He makes friends so easily (even if he doesn’t like them) and is super well received in crowd situations. I’ll write up a seperate post about that soon I think lmao. Anyway I love that Randy is the socially awkward one of the two. I think he would never make any other friends if Howard didn’t introduce him lmao

Smart Howard is so dear to me and I think he’s definitely the type of guy to know at least surface level about literally everything. Like that one Dan Vs clip about knowing who carved Mt Rushmore but not what state it’s in

I have a Whole Thing about Tengu Howard that I’ll write up/draw soon and the wing scars are going in immediately. I think I’m just a sucker for those scars specifically I’ll never turn them down on anyone

Yes you’re so correct about his isolation issues being purely from circumstance. I think he has a huuuuge family so he’s never really by himself but Randy is an only child with only child parents so he’s Always alone when he’s not with Howard. Absent Cunningham parent are real to me - would love for them not to be but he gets away with so much shit there’s no way they pay that much attention

I’m not really a big Theresa fan in general (she’s just a little boring imo but I know they would have developed her more if they had the time to :,( )but her being a baby bat is so good. I think Julian shows her his music and they share cassettes (they’re edgy like that). I think also I just want to see the members of the Klub interact more

[chaotic-tired-bastard]

Do you have any Avatar Kuruk headcanons?

okay so I am not the person to ask this lol- ijstlostthegame is THE Kuruk person on here, but I'm so glad you asked! Though I warn you, I've got a lot of angst. Like, a lot. So preliminary warning for general sadness and mentions of alcoholism.

As Kuruk kills more and more spirits, his spiritual self degrades alongside his actual spirit. As in, when he goes into the Spirit World in spirit only, leaving his body behind, he looks more and more haggard and ill. By the time of his death, he looked barely human, more like a walking corpse. BUT when he died, all that damage got whammied away, but slowly. When Kyoshi was about 8 was when he started looking actually human and healthy.

Kuruk feels bad about "betraying" and abandoning his friends, but he feels even worse about what he's "done" to Kelsang. I feel like he wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes, knowing that he's killed so many of the spirits that the Airbender strives to live in harmony alongside.

He actually really, really likes stewed sea prunes! Ummi introduced them to him when he first visited the Southern Water Tribe (so he could visit her awww), and he was hooked immediately.

Kuruk was an alcoholic, and after he met Ummi he did a pretty good job of getting clean, but after her death he just got so much worse.

The worse his situation got, the less he visited his parents. He would visit a lot when he was younger and started to drift away when he started his spirit-killing days. The last time he visited his parents, it was about a year before he died.

He's strong as all hell, a real tank, but he's got terrible mobility.

His love language is a split between physical touch and acts of service- he wants Ummi to know that he can provide for her, keep her safe. It's basically all he can do, isn't it? If he can throw away his well-being for the world, he sure as all hell will do so for the love of his life. He fails anyway

He's got amazing calligraphy, but he writes shittily when writing messages for Jianzhu because he thinks it's funny. Everyone else gets his amazing writing, but Jianzhu gets chicken scratch.

He's got a really, really pretty singing voice. Deep baritone, a little bit rough but beautiful regardless. I like to think that, if he got to be a father, he would have sung his kid (or kids) to sleep at night.

[dreamsndmadness]

hellooo!!!(sorry in advance for all of the rambling)

first of all, im absolutely gushing from all of the soft moments in ch9: feyd nearly crying from being cared for, paul helping feyd with his nightmares, and feyd being protective/caring in both the breakfast scene and throughout the spice field inspections :333. It was all VERY adorable and paul finally being unhesitating about his sexual relationship with feyd and them communicating (both implicitly with paul reading feyds body language and explicitly with paul making feyd ask for what he wants), it's all very rewarding in general :)

Also, ive just been thinking nonstop about all the stuff going on with paul. so, my first theory about pauls exhaustion was because he was staying up because of feyds nightmares waking up but then i re-read it and saw paul was tired even before they shared a bed, and then i remembered that lack of sleep is a common symptom of pregnancy so thats my leading theory rn, that OR paul is staying up late reading lol. im also so interested in what paul and lady jessica are plotting, they mentioned controlling feyd and learning more about him in the beginning and then theres the date palm scene. I remember in the movies that date palms are definitely on arrakis so my first thought was that feyd was being a paranoid little freak about it but then i thought lady jessica might be trying to assess pauls health or something?? its safe to say im super hyped for the paul POV

sorry about the length and INCREDIBLY half formed theories

( •̀ - •́ ) ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

The wonderful bowl100!!

I love your questions ☺️. Omg yay!!! I’m so glad you liked the chapter. I always have a crisis of confidence when I post new chapters 🙃. Yesss. The softness. Feyd cutting the fruit and making sure Paul eats was one of my favorite moments from the chapter. It’s so hard to write moments of tenderness from him without it seeming out of character. And then he can never be honest with himself about why he’s doing things or why certain things are making him feel certain ways. Man. This guy. Feyd used his words FINALLY!!! And yes!! I’m so happy for Paul. Starting to enjoy himself. It’s so important.

Okee so here’s what I can say. You aren’t wrong about any of your guesses per say. It’s been such a joy to write from Paul’s pov because he’s a much more emotionally evolved person so I can write him being like “ah yes. This is making me feel this way!”. So one of the biggest reasons for Paul’s exhaustion is that he has been having dreams. Some of them good, some of them pretty disturbing. And yes, we will be seeing them in the next chapter. He is also (not really a spoiler cause it’s in the tags) pregnant! Another big reason! That’s going to be a plot point of the next chapter as well.

Lol the date palm scene!! You’re right on both counts. Feyd is being a paranoid little freak. He’s like “they are speaking in code!!” No you weirdo, they are talking about date palms. However, I am going to give him a little credit because he did pick up on the weird energy of the scene which is basically due to Jessica trying to draw Paul out of his funk. She’s worried about him and thinks he’s not doing well, and she’s trying to cheer him up and also trying to subtly (probably too subtly) signal to Feyd to do the same. Which he kinda gets! Cause he then invites Paul to come with him on inspection and Jessica is like “thank fucking god you are so fucking dense”. To Feyd. Not Paul. Paul can do no wrong in Jessica’s eyes lol.

Anyway! All of your theories were pretty spot on and perceptive!!! Sorry it took so long for me to respond 😔. I’ve been sick this week and it’s been a struggle. I have most of Paul’s chapter finished (it’s sitting at 5,500 words right now 😀). And I hope to edit and post tomorrow!!

Thank you as always for your lovely questions. I look at your wonderful art every day 🥹.

All the best 🫶.

[whaleofatjme1920]

How about a Scp 2030-1 (Laughy) x reader public s//e//x smut fic? I only found one lemon fic of him on wattpad so maybe you can give him a shot lol

A Good Show

[SCP 2030-1 X GN!Reader, AFAB]

[Warnings: general smut, creampie, biting/marking, Kinda public. MINORS DNI]

[AN: Sorry this is literally months late idk how to explain I’ve been up a wall. Anyways, here’s this. I don’t actually know what mood this is, and had a hell of a time even remembering what tense I’m writing in. my bad lol. 2212 words &lt;;3]

It’s not everyday that you have a skip absolutely obsessed with you, but working for the Foundation has its merits. SCP 2030-1, also known as Laughy McLaugherson, had attached himself to you sometime last year. You had been working under someone, watching tapes, when he’d found himself captivated with your beauty. Though, through the late night visits where he would materialize through your laptop screen, your TV, at one point your shower where there were no electronics to be seen, he’d found himself helplessly infatuated with your mind too. 

His obsession is dangerous, anyone could see that. You knew it, but still, here you remained. Laying on your bed, you flicked absentmindedly through channels you had no intention of actually watching. Your other hand pressed on your phone to check the time. Relatively pleased it was past midnight, you tapped the remote to the channel you knew would guarantee his. 

His face wasn’t visible, but the rest of him was. He was animated as he explained the joy of coffee houses before his body paused. “Well, lookie here, folks,” he stated in his jovial, upbeat tone. “Seems we’re due for a commercial break! We’ll be back right after these short messages from our sponsors.”

You watched as his body language shifted before your TV displayed ads for products that couldn’t have existed in your current time. You squinted with a small scowl lining your lips. You wondered if he’d step through as dramatically as he usually did. You chuckled when the screen warped, suddenly holding the viscosity of warmed honey as he crawled through similar to the girl from the Ring. 

“You have such a pretty laugh,” he noted as he stepped through in full, briefly fixing his tie and smoothing out his dark blue suit that almost hurt your eyes to actually gaze upon. All of this time with him slinking through your various devices and you still haven’t a clue what he looks like. You can feel that he’s smiling, but some part of his anomalous nature blocks your mind from perceiving his face. He’s got tanned skin, a light shade of brown, with dark brown hair that curls like the remnants of a gameshow host pulled from the 60s. But you don’t know the finer features of his face. 

You could recall asking him about that when he first started appearing in your home. He told you he did it for your benefit. 

“I’m glad you think so,” you finally replied. 

He mirrored your chuckle and sat down on your bed. “I know so,” he said simply. “How are you?” He’s already gotten comfortable behind you. His long, lanky body curls around you warmly, a perfect fit to spoon you. He rubbed over your hips, your waist, and your chest before finally cupping there. His hand pressed against your chest, the pads of his fingers gingerly slipping over your nipples. 

“I’m fine,” you hummed, clearly turned on by the physical touch. Your hips rolled against his subtly, or as subtly as you could manage. “What about you?”

“Eh,” he began. “Could be better.” He sounded so much more relaxed there in the space of your bedroom than when he would play host to his weird little show. “Did you want me to make some tea?” He asked as he rolled his hand down your stomach again to the hem of your shirt. He played your body like a violin, slowly coaxing your warmth without ever touching it as he moved his hand against your flesh from under your shirt. His fingers didn’t feel calloused at all, but not soft either. He works, but not in the way that shows. 

You moaned softly at how easily you fell into his grasp. It isn’t the first time you’ve slept with him, but this is one of the faster times he’s managed to get you to bend to him. “No,” you answered as you bucked your hips back against him. You were nearly desperate to feel him. “You feel different,” you noted. 

“Is it bad?”

You shook your head. “What’s gotten into you?”

His lips danced languidly over your neck as he continued to rub you in the right places. “You’ve never really responded to me like this before,” he mumbled. His teeth, just barely sharpened past what’s considered normal, nip at your soft skin. His hand left your nipples to fall between your legs. He let the waistband of your underwear dig into his wrist as his long fingers rolled against your lips, his thumb rubbing ghost-like circles along your clit. 

You hummed once more. “You feel good,” you managed to wisp out. On the TV, you saw his show was back on. It was an empty stage, of course. He was in your room entertaining both of your combined desires. “Laughy-”

“Should we give them a show? A real show?” He inquired, voice dripping with lust and the desire to entertain. He felt you flutter even though he hadn’t pushed inside of you. On the TV, your heaving chest caged by his strong arms displayed lewdly. The audience made no sound, but he could feel they were entranced. He didn’t care whether they liked it or not, but chances are they were just as captivated in the good way as he was. 

There it was. His cock, already semi-hardened, pressed against your ass. He growled playfully in your ear when you moaned once more upon the sensation of his index and middle fingers just barely dipping into your already weeping pussy. 

He chuckles in that slightly condescending way that makes your heart pound. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He worked your body a little faster. His other hand wrapped around you, not caring of the somewhat awkward position as he groped at your chest again. He reveled in the pretty sounds that softly poured from your lips. “I’m going to fuck you,” he whispered in your ear before he bit down on your neck, his sharpened teeth leaving a bloomed mark on your smooth skin. 

You nodded fervently. “Please,” you mewled. Usually, you’d let him take his time with you. He was the biggest fan of nestling between your legs and showing you his inhumanly long tongue and all it could do, but you wanted nothing more than for him to bury deep inside of you. The two of you shifted on the bed. You whined at how his warmth left from between your legs but you grinned when he positioned himself above you. The sound of his buckle clicking and sliding off made you press and rub your thighs together. You looked up at him hungrily, even if you couldn’t actually register his face. 

He slid off your pants, your underwear, and chuckled once more upon seeing you hurriedly slid your top off as well. He puckered his lips together and you recognize the sounding whistle as that of a wolf, which garnered soft laughter from the audience. His head tipped back while your hands eagerly wrapped around his long, thick cock. He exhaled deeply while your fingers traced over his veins, working him up to that unbearable hardness. His hands spread your legs apart while he fell to his forearms and loomed heavily over you. “You okay?” He checked once more as his hardened cock pressed against your entrance. 

“Yes,” you said as you angled your hips upwards. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as the tip of his cock slid up and down to coat itself in your arousal. “I want you to fuck me and for them to watch.” You watched with wide eyes as the head of his cock split you open. Your breath hitched as he disappeared inside of you, inch by inch. Your pussy fluttered. Instinctively, you reached your hands up to his biceps and dug in as hard as you could. You gripped his dark blue suit and let your eyes squeeze shut as he pushed in deeper. 

“How long has it been since I last fucked you?” He asked through grit teeth. “You feel so good but I-goddamn it-!” The words were lost on his tongue as he bottomed out deep inside of you. He moved his equally blue eyes over to the TV where the audience could clearly see he was balls deep inside of you. Your pussy stretched to accommodate him, and he reveled in the sight. He pulled his hips back and let himself become absolutely mesmerized by how his cock dragged back before burying deep inside of you again. He groaned deeply upon feeling you grip him harder. 

You cried out softly and wrapped your legs around his waist. “Oh gods,” you moaned. “Laughy please-” you pleaded wantonly, “don’t keep me waiting. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me-!” 

Not one to disobey a request said oh so sweetly, he did as you asked. “Your wish is my command,” he smoothly granted. His hips snapped back and forth. He groaned deeply and let his lips fall back to your neck as he pressed hard against you. Thrust after thrust, he found himself absolutely lost in the pleasure of your body. “Keep moaning for me. I don’t give a damn who complains, I want them to know you feel so fucking good because of me.” 

Your songs of pleasure grew louder and louder. A tight, warm coil in your belly grew hotter as his cock pressed you open. You panted like a bitch in heat. You suppose that’s how he made you feel. It was appropriate for the situation. Your legs locked so tightly around him refused to loosen as his thrusts grew erratic. You squeezed his cock tightly. “Cum inside of me.” Your mouth was speaking faster than your head could rationalize. “Please, cum inside of me. Fill me up.” 

Something about your words spurred him on. He bit at your neck once more to leave those pretty marks your supervisors would positively detest as he grew rougher. He nudged your vision over to the TV to let you see exactly what he was doing to you. He was pounding into you at a dizzying pace. You were so wet that you’d soaked the bed and still had the potential to keep going. He grinned upon seeing your reaction. “You want me to cum inside of you?” He teasingly prodded. 

“Yes,” you answered. “More than anything. Fill me up so much I can’t take anymore.” Your body craved him and needed him. 

“Then cum on my cock first.” Cockily, he sharply rolled his hips forwards so the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix. In any other situation, it might’ve hurt but gods, part of his anomalous nature must have been suppressing all sensations even hinting to that. He pressed so thickly against you, the tight coil cracked under the pressure, snapped and rushed out from you in white hot pleasure. 

Your pussy fluttered and squeezed around his cock as you arched your back and screamed. You didn’t mean to scream, at least not like that, but the pleasure was far too great to ignore. Tears welled in your eyes and clumped together in pearly beads before they rolled down your cheeks. You gripped him tightly as you rode out your orgasm all the while still begging him to unload everything he had deep inside of you. 

He was never terribly loud when he came, but something about seeing his cock pressed deep inside of you, it made his heart spin. He groaned deeply as he rutted against you and stilled, his cock twitching as his balls rested flush against your ass. “Fuck you feel so good,” he rasped breathlessly as thick, sticky ropes of cum spurt against your cervix and filled you to the brim. He rolled his hips against you as if to fuck it deep inside of you. His lips pressed gingerly to your neck, even going so far as to flit across your jaw before his eyes caught the sight of the thick white liquid dripping out from your pussy and around his cock onto the bed. He laughed softly before pushing his hips forwards once more. 

“Look at that,” he cooed as ons of his hands moved up to your lower abdomen and softly pushed down. “Some of it escaped.” 

You looked up at him and felt more heat rise to your face. “Laughy,” you warned. Your tone may have conveyed some form of annoyance but he could recognize that hunger from miles away. “You don’t want me to give you another load?” He cocked his head to the side like a lost puppy. He started to move his hips back. “And I wanted my audience to see an x-ray view,” he trailed off. 

You squeezed your legs around his waist once more to draw him in closer. Too embarrassed to say it outright, but craving him oh so badly, you pulled at his collar. 

Laughy himself was surprised at the action. He suppressed a yelp before his lips met yours. And he laughed. Genuinely this time. “You have such an odd way of telling me what you want. Don’t they, folks?” 

From the TV, a stereotypical chorus of ‘aw!’ filled the room followed by the manufactured wave of clapping. 

[drev-the-procrastinator]

I would like to know more about the fish in your profile pic. :)

oh!!! of course!!! gladly :) here's a full picture of the little fella:

so this guy's a Perca fluviatilis, or European perch, or just a perch, or in Finnish, ahven!

It's a predatory fish that lives in both fresh and brackish water, so here in Finland, dotted with over 180 000 lakes (albeit most are very small) and surrounded by the brackish waters of the Baltic Sea (or Itämeri in Finnish, which is funny because it means the East Sea even though from Finland said sea is to the west, but it's a direct translation from Swedish, to whom it is in the east lol anyway), it's a very common fish. In fact, it's the most common fish in Finland! There are a lot of little lakes and ponds in which it might be the only fish. It's also the national fish of Finland!

The important characteristics are the red (or really orange usually) fins and tail, the darker stripes, and the spikey dorsal fin, with the little black dot at the end towards the tail. In some of the darkwater lakes they can get almost black, though, so the stripes aren't always visible, but for example in the sea, where the water is clearer, you can see them well.

They can grow pretty big, but are usually 15-30 cm and weigh at most something like 350 grams, though occasionally bigger fish are found. When it comes to people who fish for fun, and not like, with big ships, the perch is the most commonly fished fish in Finland, I think? They can also withstand waters quite a lot acidic than most Finnish fish, which contributes to them living in tiny bog ponds as the only fish in there. Mostly they live in Europe (aside from Spain and Italy) and all the way to the Kolyma River in the Russian far east, but they've been planted in places such as Australia, New Zealand/Aotearoa, South Africa and even China I think? Where they're endangering the native fish species :[ so that's not good

They're pretty curious little fishies! They live in schools of fish during the day and look for food together, but at night they rest on their own at the bottom of the body of water they live in. A few times, when I've gone swimming in a lake with clear water, I've spotted them in the shallow water rather close to people swimming, and when I stayed in place for long enough they came really close a few times! I could've almost touched them, but they're also really fast, so they would've (and probably did) sprint away.

I've caught them a few times, but the ones I've fished have been too small so I've let them go. When my dad's side of the family used to have the cottage in the archipelago my mom has now, my grandparents used to put out the fishing nets (I helped a few times as well!) and then in the morning I'd help take the fishes out of the net, and there'd be perch there pretty often. I've also filleted these fish, and eaten them haha. My favorite is perch covered in flour and fried in butter, served with mashed potato! But most of all I do like just watching them :)

A couple more fun facts! They have a sharp boney spike at the edge of their gill cover, so you have to be careful when you hold them for example taking it off a hook! And the spikes on their back! They're very spiky fish :D

The word for ahven here in Russian is окунь, okun', which according to a version of the etymology, comes from the old word for eye, oko. In Finnish, ahven is pretty close to the reconstructed Proto-Finnic form *ahvën, but we don't know what the etymology for that is! The name for the fish is really similar in most Finnic languages though:

Lastly, the Finnish name for the big island and autonomous region of Åland is Ahvenanmaa, with ahvena being a dialectal form of ahven, and thus the name is like, the land of the perch :) It might come from the fact that in the 1500s, the people from there paid their taxes in perch? The etymology on that one is a little unlcear still! Just a fun little fact. :)

Here's a picture of a little ahven I took in 2018!

I just really like them :) ahven my beloved <3 <3 <3

[hiddles-evans-hallucinations]

no time to waste - 1

Summary: (Y/N) have known Chris’ family for as long as she can remember it, as soon as she graduated from high school, she moved to New York pursuing her dream in fashion school. After missing two Christmas, her mom’s birthday and every other events in Boston, she came back and spend her months off with her mom, Jane. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Genre: Fluff (for now LOL) 

Warnings: explicit context and language 

Tag list: @patzammit​ 

*gifs are not mine*

You wake up early to jog, putting a black Nike sports bra under the jacket and leggings and shoes as you pull up your hair in a ponytail. “Good morning, do you wear anything but black?” your mom smiled as she lean against her kitchen counter. You’ve been back for a week and staying in seems like a good idea before meeting all the familiar faces. 

“Morning, and nope, this color represents my heart.” your older brothers, Matt, Beau and Eric look at you. “Stop judging me.” You walk out of the house and started to jog your way to the neighborhood. 

The age gap between you and your brothers is pretty eh. You’re the youngest out of four siblings and the only girl in it which doesn’t really make it easier for you to date when the four of you still live under the same roof. Now, that you’re independent and making money of your own, they’ve stopped being on your ass every time. 

Matt is already 41, Beau is 36, Eric is 33 and you are only 24. When your mom was pregnant with you, a lot of your family thinks that your mom is cheating on your dad, it was a lot of drama they have to keep up but, no, she didn’t, she stayed with your dad until his last breath and that’s enough for everybody. 

Everyone’s at home, Matt’s wife, Leah was cooking breakfast when you’re off jogging, Beau with his girlfriend just kind of pissing you off of how she talked to your mom last night that made you snap at her and she decided to fly back to LA, Eric has nobody but you to bother and it pissed you off even more.

When you walk back into the house, the music is blasting on your AirPods you can’t hear anything but the music. You take off your jacket, leaving you with only your leggings and sports bra as you take out some cold bottled water from the fridge. You didn’t really pay attention to whoever sitting in the living room, whoever’s cooking now.

You look up and immediately cover your body. There’s Lisa, Scott, and Chris and there’s your mom and brothers sitting with them in the living room. Your AirPods fell to the floor when you were startled when you noticed there are guests over. 

“Hi, honey, I was talking to you, I didn’t notice the,” your mom gestured her hands to her ears referring to your AirPods. 

“The things.” she added. 

“Usual stuff.” Eric said to Scott. You scowled at Eric, Matt just sat there shaking his head in disbelief at you. “Oh they’ve been here for a long time.” You look at Leah who’s now plating her food, she’s always cooking, it’s a blessing and a curse. 

“Hi, (Y/N).” Lisa greeted you, her arms are wide open. “Hi, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’m almost naked.” you said to her, Scott rolled his eyes. 

“Give it to me, (Y/N).” 

You gasp at Scott. “Shut the hell up.” Scott said to you. 

“Anyway, I need to shower so I can hug all of you.” You said as you head to your room to shower. 

Chris sits between Matt and Scott while the moms were talking about other things. He agreed to take his mom to Jane’s and drag Scott with him since Scott and Beau are in the same school as well as him and Matt. 

“Did she work out a lot?” Scott asks Beau, he shrugs. “Dude, I swear today was quiet, any other days? She’s in the garage boxing and all that shit.” Matt rolled his eyes at his younger brother. 

“Well, at least she’s doing something and looking good, you’re just... a stick with no muscle.” 

Chris lets out a laugh as Eric shrug, agreeing with his older brother. “She got an offer to play in a movie or something, but she didn’t take it, she came here instead, stupid girl.” Chris slightly tilts his head back. “A movie?” Scott asks.

Chris observes their conversation, not wanting to let them know he wants to know more about (Y/N). Scott hangs out with her more when he’s in New York now, when (Y/N) was born, Chris spends his time hanging out with Matt before he moved to New York at that time so he doesn’t really see (Y/N) and when he does she was still really small.

“Yeah, you know her, there’s a time for Myspace, Facebook, and now Instagram, do you think she’s on them? No. She was offered by Sam Mendes to play in some movie because he saw her on  (Y/N)’s friend, Katya’s Instagram, you remember her right?” Beau said to Scott as he said under his breath, “Interesting.” You and Beau started to fight a lot when he’s with his current girlfriend so when he talks about you, he’s mostly annoyed. 

Matt added, “She’s just not into shit like that, you wanna talk to her? Call her, miss her? See her. That’s what mom used to say, she’s just very focused on her goals, ambitious girl.” he rolled his eyes at the thought of his sister, still so young but she figured out what she wanted to do and what to be. 

“What made him offer her that? What kind of movie?” Scott grew curious. “Katya said it was some kind of 007 movies, this was the picture he saw.” Beau showed Scott, but Chris could still see the picture of (Y/N) with her hair down, wearing a lovely dress and the picture was candid where she was looking away from the camera with her hand on her chin. 

Eric said, “She could’ve taken it but she didn’t.” before anyone could answer you walk down and hug Lisa so tight. 

“Hi, how are you?” you said. 

“I’m great, how are you? You look so cute!” You smiled as you go over to hug Scott and Chris. “Hey guys,” you said when you reach Chris, but the hug was longer than Scott, you two stood there and it’s not it’s weird, your brothers basically grew up with these guys and so do you. 

 “You look great,” he whispers, you pull back and look at him weirdly as you lean forward to whisper back to him. “Are you flirting with me? Don’t think I didn’t notice you’ve been looking at me.” Chris smiled knowing that this girl got everything on him. 

He used to say to Matt that (Y/N) can be a little intimidating cause she knows what she wants and in a relationship, he knew that she was in a relationship with a couple of guys his age, or even Scott’s age from here but it always ended because she doesn’t want anyone to tell her what to do because she’s young. 

“We could take this somewhere else.” he whispers to you making you laugh, you don’t hang out with Chris, mostly just with Scott when he’s in New York. You did meet him a couple of times but you were with your ex-boyfriend at that time, you, Beau, Eric, Scott, and Chris were having drinks together. 

Let’s just say bringing your guy back then was a problem. Chris welcomed him, the others? Not really. 

We talked about Matt’s prank to Scott when they were 11, you just don’t get it how these boys get away with life with being so mean. “When you were born, it was so funny, they all visited you, and Chris only said, “Well, it is a baby, what now?” I remember laughing too hard mom had to tell me to get out.” Matt said as you look at Chris with your eyes wide and your jaw dropped open. 

“No way, you said that?” 

Chris scratches the back of his head, smiling with a look of guilt all over his face. “I did.” he replied as you laugh. 

You look at the clock and you have a meeting with your colleagues over Zoom. “I’ll be back.” 

“Oh don’t worry, we’ll be staying until the afterparty.” you laughed at Scott, he’s right. Every time our moms are hanging out and we’re there, it feels like we’re kids again, we’re gonna have to stay until late, and we have to remind them that we only have 24-hours a day. 

You walk into the house’s study as you place your laptop down on the table. You can see everyone and hear everyone talking in the kitchen on the other hand and you’re trying so hard not to get distracted even though the study is quite far from where they are. 

“Well, I think there’s nothing I would add, the social media looks great but we need someone who’s in charge of it, I have a lot of shit I need to do,” 

Your boss nodded her head. “Yeah, you’re right, I mean, you can’t work three jobs in one head, so, Audrey, can you please take notes and send it to the HR that we’re hiring a social media person?” you Social Media Officer, Audrey nodded as she write it down. 

When everyone’s talking and you mute yourself and note everything down when you hear the sliding door open and there was Chris. You smile at him as he walks toward you causing you to turn off your camera. You don’t want the whole office to scream over a Zoom meeting seeing Chris Evans through the screen. 

You muted yourself and turn around, “What do you want? I’m in a meeting.” Chris nodded his head, “Oh I know, I just haven’t got the chance to give my own eyes a pretty face to look at.” Chris smiled. 

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him. “Didn’t you introduce me to everyone about um.. 7-years ago that I’m like your sister?” you joke. 

Chris noticed that he was trailing his eyes way too far and detailed, from your head to toe and trails back to your neck. I always knew this gal is something else even at some point where she really made me feel like she doesn’t really care who I am, Chris thought to himself and it made him feel good how (Y/N) sees him the same way. Maybe it’s because we’ve been on each other’s asses for a long time. 

“Well, you were a minor, not anymore right?” 

You scoff, “And you’re 40 years old—” “(Y/N), we’re wrapping it up, this far we got everything under control and at its own pace so thanks to you.” you hold out your hand to Chris so that he doesn’t talk or move near where he could be seen when everyone’s listening to you. Chris steps aside, sitting on the floor right next to your feet looking up at you like a little child so you can turn on the camera back. 

“Alright, thank you guys, please send me the report of the insights and the editorial plan, and also if you find someone to add to our team to manage the social media that’d be great cause we’re handling 8 brands now.” You chuckle. Your co-workers and you said your goodbye to wrap up today’s meeting as you look down at Chris who’s now holding your leg. 

“What do you want?” 

Chris turns smitten, you arch your brow. “I don’t know, I just wanna catch up with you, it’s been so long.” “You’re all over the news mister, and I’m here working.” you replied as he nodded his head and there was a knock on the door that catches your attention and it was your mom. 

“Food’s ready, the boys are watching the game, you two wanna join?” she asks. “We’ll be right there, I kinda have to ask her a few things.” you make a face as your mom sends you a smile before rolling her eyes. “Alright, Chris, be nice.” she added causing you to burst out laughing. “Yeah, Chris, be nice.” You joked as he stood up, leaning against your desk. 

He asks, “When did you become so ambitious?” you laugh, swinging in your chair, left, right, left right. “I only have me and my family, you know? I don’t wanna build an empire, I just wanna live and give my future family the same thing these people have given me. Especially with what my dad left me with,” you pointed your finger at him, wide smile. “Good memories.” “Yeah, I miss him too. Lots of my childhood with the boys, he was there.” You nodded your head. 

“Right? He was just the dad everyone kinda wants to have.” he nodded, agreeing to what you said. 

Chris was staring at your lips, you noticed it as your smile widens. “Christopher!” you jokingly gasp, placing your hand on your chest. “What’s with the eyes?” “Oh you don’t wanna know.” you gasp once more. 

“Is it appropriate? I feel like if the boys caught you looking at me like this they’d be... err... weirded out... or they would just fucking vomit.” you get up thinking that he was just joking with how he stares at your lips, but when you were about to turn away from him, he grabs your arm and turns you back around. 

Your face is an inch away from him. You laugh thinking this is a joke, he’s playing with me.. you thought to yourself. “If I ask, you’d probably say no, but if I don’t as for your permission, I’m an asshole.” you gulped hearing him say that. 

You said, “Chris.. I—” Chris noticed that you look nervous as it gets awkward between the two of you. He slowly pulls away. You turn your head, looking away as he walks out of the room first. You’re trying to digest what just happened before walking towards the kitchen only to find Chris opening a can of beer. 

The boys are in the living room watching the game. Both of you walk out of the kitchen awkwardly. Chris chose to sit with the boys while you sit at the dining table across it with the moms. 

You feel your phone vibrates. 

You look up to Chris, making a face as he nodded his head to your phone telling you to go check. 

[mediapen]

Hiii

I'm so sorry for bothering you, but I'm knew to f1 and ended up stumbling your post about politics and f1 https://www.tumblr.com/mediapen/749730771207684096/when-you-guys-try-2-do-politics-it-makes-me-go?source=share and I kinda want to talk about it a little. Disclaimer: like I said I'm knew and also English is not my first language. There is no intention of hate to any driver. maybe I'm not smart enough to discuss this but...

I also keep getting some posts about this driver is far right this driver is morally bad... and aren't all of them in some way?like all of them would sacrifice all morals to win? Also f1 is a sport full of big oil money... that is already far right in itself, no?

Maybe x driver that people consider bad just don't have a good pr like the driver they consider good. Take l h for example, I think he is a incredible guy, bigger than f1, but he is also going to a team with 2 sponsors that are pro isr@el, he will sacrifice his moral in exchange to win his 8th title.

I think there's nuances to f1 and politics and how much they can talk about and stuff.

Like I said before, I don't think I'm smart enough about the subject and if this is just stupid just ignore it, but I don't think looking in a sport that is full of corruption and money laundry is the right place for politically and morally good/correct people. If it's to hold them accountable it should be everyone not just the guys they don't particularly like.

hello sorry your ask is from a while ago but i just saw it and it's a worthwhile topic for the Online People to discuss. so.

that post specifically was about people intellectually posturing inserting irrelevant geopolitical concepts they didn’t understand rather than simply being directly critical of a more straightforward action that they did understand and it annoyed me ❤️ but anyway tldr your position is basically mine. you might be new but you’ve pretty quickly found a core issue here: there’s an… interesting capacity for ignorance and forgiveness when it comes to some drivers and not others, and that's basically driven by people moralising their likes and dislikes. double standards in online fan spaces are sadly pretty pervasive, so there’s not much rational discussion to be had and the block button is your friend.

i don't know what posts you've seen because i have not been seeing them and generally heavily curate my dash, so if this is all irrelevant, ignore it lol. i've tried to discuss the points you raised, though!

the drivers' politics broadly suck. they suck! whether we know for sure about their political leanings or affiliations, it's pretty safe to assume that as a collective they will have broadly conservative leanings - likely economically (monaco residences alone should tell you a lot!), but also often socially. that's the kind of people we're working with here, and we're not even getting into the bodies actually running the sport.

it’s fine and good to want people you look up to or whatever to do better on these issues, but looking to motorsport for your idols and expecting them to be a paragon of virtue and morality is fucking laughable. expecting a bunch of guys who are largely from places of immense personal and social privilege, who have been funnelled from whatever education they actually completed straight into their sport with little exposure to the real world or real issues, to be both aware of and able to intelligently discuss issues that we as 'normal' people with university educations etc. believe are important, is at best naive. tbh i don’t care much for performative virtue signalling from people who don’t understand an issue beyond being told by a PR team to say x issue bad ❤️ and take all the plaudits from twitter user fuckhead3000 for doing fuck all else. more than anything it just speaks to this online culture of trying to make everything into a 'this guy's problematic!' contest where everything is black and white and good and bad and surface level, and nobody ever engages with issues of substance.

i know you’re only using lewis as an example, but in terms of team sponsors, drivers aren’t that influential with the exception of those they bring with them. anyone expecting a driver to effectively boycott or refuse to move to/drive for a team because of their sponsors massively overestimates their power and security as individuals at a level where their continued competitive presence is never guaranteed. if we’re being critical of sponsors, though: lewis currently drives for a team with sponsors heavily involved in oil and extractive industries, on the bds list, connected to possible war crimes in sudan, illegal pollution, poor labour relations, ai companies, etc.. this stuff's SO pervasive.

lewis has made mistakes. lewis has said things that have been poorly phrased and ignorant. but lewis, almost uniquely, has consistently demonstrated self-reflection and real growth. i think he (rightly) gets a lot of grace for that - but also people don't know about or remember the 'bad' stuff. lewis has been able to use his platform and galvanise solidarity actions from some other drivers to raise social justice issues and agitate for both broad and specific change. in response, f1 itself has clamped down on his ability to use coverage of the sport to amplify his voice to that audience. he is doing what he can within an openly hostile and deeply racist environment. if he refused to drive because of sponsor relationships with his team(s), he’d lose any platform that the sport itself gives him. he'd lose his position as the only black man in f1. it'd cull his influence, which only exists because of his continued presence and success. i'm absolutely not saying you’re doing this, but holding lewis alone to higher ethical standards than any other driver is plainly racist. 

never mind sacrificing morals to win - given its history, ownership, corruption, controversies, environmental impact, etc., f1 itself arguably requires you to sacrifice your morals to even participate. everyone can decide where they fall on that: whether the tacit acceptance of the state of things implied by someone's participation is worth it for the good they can do as a result of the platform - or not. personally, i think trying to do any kind of remedial work on the sport itself would be a massive undertaking - and barring some kind of international regulatory mandate, it would have to be driven from within. in f1, i’d rather see movement towards change through participation rather than outright boycotts/non-participation, because they simply wouldn't be effective unless massively scaled.

nuance and context are important. i think in these discussions, what people need to remember is that two years ago these guys were made to race under threat of missile strikes, and only some of them felt able to speak out about the potentially serious physical harm being done to them by porpoising cars. as a mere starting point, i want to see a driver's union with teeth (and also unionised engineers, crews, etc.), because right now these guys can't (/won't) even organise effectively to ensure their own safety - never mind anything else. hope this was useful!!

[kafus]

i used to think that there was no way i could have did because the only versions of it that i ever saw getting talked about were the horror movie's "there's normal me and then there's EVIL me" version and the 13 year old's "i get to be the most valid kinnie even though i have no trauma and no other side effects" version, but after reading your posts about did i've been really questioning whether i may have a disorder similar to it. i've had so many symptoms that i explained away as just "bad memory" or "different sides of me" but it's gotten to the point where it's significantly impacting my life; hours or entire days will just go missing and i have to re-read my old messages to find out what i was doing before. i want to do more research into it but it's extremely hard to find good resources online, and proper medical papers are very difficult for me to parse no matter how many times i re-read them. do you know any good places to learn?

god yeah i've been there. it took a lot of encouragement from my GF at the time years ago to seek out medical help and get a DID diagnosis, after like years of denying it because i thought my trauma "wasn't severe enough" and thought that if i had DID i should be having that stereotypical horror movie presentation of the disorder. obviously i do not think this way anymore lol

i'm assuming from the way you've worded this message that seeking help from a medical professional isn't an option for you, though if it is, seeing a trauma or dissociation specialist would be my first recommendation for sure. on the other hand... Hmmm

if you really struggle with medical language/professional papers on the subject that knocks out a lot of the resources i DO like, and some of the more common ones like did-research.org are... flawed to say the least asfkfsdl (though still an OK baseline, if you're really starting from knowing nothing it's not a terrible resource, just be critical)

even though it isn't all about DID specifically, you may benefit from "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk. it's been a long time since i've read it but from what i remember it's a very good book about trauma and isn't overwhelmingly medical or hard to read. at the end of the day, whether or not you have DID specifically is less important than recognizing the concerning and difficult amnesia/trauma symptoms you're experiencing and trying to care for yourself, so i think a general trauma book like that could still be of use. (i probably shouldn't link it here but there are pretty easy ways to find this book online)

i'm pretty picky about resources so i'm trying to think of what else. here's a few other things i like sharing with people:

DID Myths and Misconceptions from Beauty After Bruises for dispelling a lot of common. well. myths and misconceptions lol. while mostly targeted towards onlookers and not people questioning it's still good to remember as someone questioning DID that you don't have to live up to these myths to be real

the Many Voices newsletter is a newsletter that ran from 1989-2012 for people with DID (or MPD as it was called when the newsletter began lmao). you can click the Newsletter button on the left to access all the entries. they're full of reader-submitted content and also discussion from medical professionals - even though some of it is outdated, it's a window into lived experience from people with DID before Social Media or even really the Internet and i personally find it incredibly validating + just interesting tbh

My experience of living with dissociative identity disorder: denial by Carolyn Spring is a good read for if you're suffering from denial yourself tbh.

anyway this is getting pretty long but i hope at least something here was useful HSDJFKSDF i'll leave off saying that regardless of what you have (i don't know you and it would be irresponsible to armchair diagnose you or something) that does sound Pretty Damn Concerning and if i were someone that knew you IRL i'd be concerned and trying to get you in to see someone about dissociative amnesia so i think your concerns are warranted and ur not crazy or something. Also wishing you well and things are going to be okay i promise <3