#anyway the idea of marcus inviting oliver over to his house and having a run in with douglas is so funny to me like

[snove101]

yk the idea of marcus befriending oliver for the sole purpose of getting closer to the davenports is so sad but also really fucking funny to me like

he cant get close to the davenports themselves for some fucking reason, apparently he cannot get closer with kaz, so oliver is his best bet. he rly went to the guy who's best friend is dating the target 😞 it's so convoluted but so funny to imagine marcus being rejected that many times to the point where he settles to befriend oliver

[nabateann]

to all the horrible people on my gc who need to chill and give me time to proofread for capitalization, this is for you.

my askbox is open and depleted so maybe consider dropping a request in?

kid!flintwood with a treehouse, which was made into a muggle au because reasons and ended up having very little treehouse, regrettably

Marcus and Oliver live in a backwater town called Green Billows

there was this kid named Tom years ago who was obsessed with (but bad at) french, so the town was immortalized as “Gonfler Vert” which modulated to “Goinfrer Verrue” which mean “Hog Wart” and damn if the children didn’t find that hilarious

and so the town is called Hogwarts, now, at least by the kids

the grown ups hate it so much but what can they do

the teenagers are too “cool” for that, but they ironically call is “Hogs Mead” because they are lit as shit man they’re Grown Up and Too Cool

they think they’re original & edgy

(no one corrects them)

teenagers, am I right

there are 4 schools in the town, they’re all very small

Small Town Drama happened and no one would talk about it

and everyone involved is now dead but they keep the drama Alive bc honestly their lives are kinda boring

Oliver goes to Godric’s Primary, the elementary school for Gryffindor’s Academy of Excellence

he’s on the little league soccer team as the goalie

it’s his favorite thing to do

little 6 year old Oliver is toddling around with his soccer ball when suddenly a boy grabs it from him

Oliver is stunned

instead of a rational response, he turns to the boy and goes, “do you know how to play?!?” really excited because he wants to play with someone and he thought no one would play with him but now there is someone who wants to play and this is so cool

and Marcus just

“you… want me to play with you?”

he’s ready to scorn Oliver on the first sign of rejection

Oliver just blinks up, wide-eyed, and nods enthusiastically

of course, Oliver’s mother sees him be pushed over, and is slightly worried, but Oliver and Marcus play “soccer” for a good 2 hours, until they really should be heading home for dinner

and she goes over and Oliver’s so excited because he made a new friend, and “where are your parents, Marcus?“

he bites his lip and shuffles his feet and "well, they’re Out Of Town on a Very Important Trip”

and she looks at him and says “well, who brought you here, then?” and looks around and realizes, there is no one else at the field. it’s just the three of them

he explains that his nanny stays at their house but lets him run around while she does the chores, and she let him go to the park today

Mrs. Wood looks at Oliver and decides that this boy is not walking back to his house alone so the three of them go together

Marcus ends up going to Oliver’s for dinner and they have such a Time and it’s wonderful

they play against each other in little league and they’re best friends

when they are like 8 they build a treehouse with Oliver’s father

the Woods kind of surrogate Marcus, who’s a little abrupt, a little brash, and a lot angry, but a genuinely good kid

it makes coming home to an empty house slightly better

because when Catherine had quit his parents hadn’t bothered to find a new nanny, just made sure the groundskeeper would check in with Marcus every few days

they have sleepovers in the treehouse and they are so close

when Oliver’s 11 (Marcus is 12) Oliver realizes that he’s never met Marcus’s parents and–oh God, does Marcus even have a home?

so Marcus takes Oliver over to his for a “play date”

the house is huge and imposing and spotless and dead

Oliver hates it so much

Marcus’s room isn’t much better

it’s sterile, all freshly pressed, with neat corners and white walls and not a thing out of place

Oliver almost makes a joke about ocd until he looks at Marcus, who looks like he’s about to be sick, right there on the pristine hardwood that probably cost more than Olivers entire house

Oliver decides “fuck this” and drags Marcus out of there with his soccer gear

they play until Oliver forgets that horrible house and that horrible silence and sterility and that look on Marcus’s face that he never wants to see again

Marcus hits puberty first, and shoots up

Oliver is pissed because damn it, Flint, I liked looking at your face when we had conversations

to which Marcus looms over him or exaggeratedly crouches with a smirk and his shoulders shake when he laughs and his eyes crinkle in such a cute way and Oliver must be going crazy because Marcus is terrifying and there is nothing cute about his penalty shots

when Oliver hits puberty he gets taller but not as broad and boom! hormones come in and Fuck Up his life and Flint is really weirdly attractive and–shit, Oliver might be gay shit fuck damn he

gay?

cue crisis. his parents aren’t homophobic, neither are his classmates. he doesn’t think.

he starts hanging out less with Marcus, starts hugging him a little less, because damn, what if someone (Marcus) found out that would ruin everything

meanwhile Marcus is on the team at Slytherin Secondary School (SSS, pronounced “(hisses like snake)”) and trying to convince his friends he’s Cool

he starts being a little meaner, a little rougher, starts pushing Oliver away more

and even though they’re both pushing the other away they also are hurt

because the other is pushing them away, and God, are they no longer the most important people in each other’s lives?

Oliver’s freshman year, his first match on Gryffindor’s varsity team against Marcus, they do what they’ve always done

go out for cheap, greasy food after the match, what they’ve been doing since they were 7/8 and playing little league against each other

but talking about this game is dangerous they’re both sooo defensive about it

and worried about what their teammates would say walking in on them like this, eating together, on what looks suspiciously like a date

they explode. right there. in the fucking 5 guys and

its nasty

Oliver says things like “I can’t solve your abandonment issues, Flint, it’s not my fault your parents didn’t love you enough to stick around”

and Marcus says shit like “at least I’m not an annoying little twit who can only talk about one fucking thing. God, you’re such a boring person, Oliver, is anything in your brain not soccer” and

that’s not all but its where each of them hurts most from and they

they’re fierce to each other after that

but not only did Marcus lose Oliver, he also lost any sort of parental figure he may have had

the Woods still invite him over to dinner and Mr. Wood takes him out to baseball games

he and Oliver’s dad got really close bc Mr. Wood was always around the house when Marcus stopped in and stuck around because he had nowhere to go

and so Oliver feels betrayed by his parents and Marcus feels betrayed by his friend and alone

he starts pushing the Woods away and, well, there’s not a whole lot they can do, and as long as he’s happy then it should work out

it doesn’t work out, at all

Marcus and Oliver are vicious to each other during that time

absolutely horrible

until Marcus’s junior year

Marcus’s dad has a heart attack and has to recover

so he’s at home

it’s what Marcus has always wanted, except it’s

it’s horrible

his dad yells and is violent and completely out of control and Marcus has no idea how to deal with that

Marcus is a very confrontational person

eventually they get into a fight so bad that Marcus ends up in the ER with 2 broken ribs and a bruised jawbone and a broken nose after his father pushed him down the stairs and Marcus,,

Marcus swings into a depressive episode

because he’s disappointed his dad when his dad came home to see him, finally cared about him and all he could do was disappoint him

like he’s disappointed Oliver

he stops doing his homework, stops going to practice, even long after his ribs heal

after he spends a week in bed, staring listlessly at the wall, Oliver marches in, shoves soccer gear at him, and says “get up, loser, we’re going running”

Marcus cracks an eye open

“in cleats?”

it takes three hours for Oliver to get Marcus showered and dressed, but they finally make their way down to the soccer field and Oliver plops a ball down at the edge of the penalty box and says “when you get it in 5 times we’ll go home” and Marcus

Marcus is so confident. he’s the starting striker, en route to an ivy probably, he can do this easily

but he hasn’t worked out in a month and a half, and his feet are not listening to his head

it’s fucking brutal, and it takes him two hours to score the required five goals

once he does, he falls down into the dirt

Oliver leaves him there, saying “same time tomorrow, don’t be late” over his shoulder as he leaves

Marcus does not get up the next day, and Oliver comes and drags him out again

and again

and again

until Marcus is getting up on his own and to the pitch

he even starts to look forward to these practice sessions with Oliver

he doesn’t think about the stack of work on his desk getting steadily bigger

(he does, and he starts to work through that, too, but damned if he was going to tell anyone)

eventually he goes back to school, back from “medical leave,” but shooting with Oliver continues

it’s just relegated to the weekends

they’re not fixed

they don’t talk to each other, for one

but it’s an improvement

anythings an improvement to the radio static that had been driving Marcus crazy

and it works

Oliver realized last year that he was hella gay

he tried messing around with his lab partner, Percy, but nothing had come of that

Percy really wasn’t his type anyway

broad shoulders came to mind, but were quickly shoved out

he’s not out, but he’s dealing with the fear, trying to bring it up to his parents slowly, because it’s

it’s hard and anyways it’s not like there’s a reason to at the moment, he’s not exactly dating anyone

Marcus is just trying to avoid his dad but he’s so upset

there must be something wrong with him if the people in his life keep leaving

we all know about what happens to gay men who feel alone

hookup apps in strange cities and high-risk behavior

at the away games during the tournament, Marcus goes completely off the rails

he tries to drown this loneliness in meaningless grindr hookups and alcohol but its not working and he can’t handle this

and then he gets home to find his father in the hospital after another heart attack

the man dies that night and Marcus is selfishly slightly relieved and not much else

and he’s spiraling fast

so is Oliver

nothing in his life is working out

he’s gay

his stats are not where they need to be for recruiters

none of his teammates like him

his grades are subpar

he has like one friend

two if you count Marcus, who still hasn’t forgiven him about the stupid fight his freshman year

and so Oliver is just so alone he throws himself into soccer and ends up almost bowing out his knee

he gets a stern talking-to by his coach

because a blown-out knee is the end of any shot he has at a career and he can’t afford that

the team can’t afford that, not with championships so close

he goes out to their treehouse to sit and look at the stars and think about why

why he’s here, why he’s doing this

it’s intense he gets vvv existential and it kinda hits him that holy shit he’s in love with Marcus

like my boy Oliver goes all the way with all his self-examination and he just realizes it out of nowhere

he doesn’t really do anything about it, but it’s kinda nice to know

their teams play each other in semis and Harry, Oliver’s new midfielder, manages to score the winning goal and they knock Marcus’s team out of the running

Marcus wants to be pissed but honestly? Oliver deserved it

anyways they start patching things up now that it’s the off season and they’re back to their regular off season practices

it’s really lowkey and Marcus stops trying to lose himself in far away cities and starts focusing on the now

and a week after semifinals Marcus gets a call, from Washington can you believe it Oliver they want me

and Oliver’s so happy for him but

he’s not good enough yet for washington, or anything like that, so he throws himself into practice

they become practically inseparable again

everyone on Marcus’s team either hates him or fondly thinks he’s an aloof, avoidant asshole so him not socializing doesn’t do much to morale

one night they’re in Marcus’s house’s kitchen and Marcus is trying to teach Oliver how to cook chicken and all Oliver can see is how good Marcus’s shoulders look in that shirt and shit that’s Oliver’s shirt shit shit and on the one hand it’s so warmingly domestic and on the other hand it’s possibly the most erotic thing Oliver’s ever seen in his 16 years of being on this earth

damn its Flint in a shirt and sweatpants get it together

but he can’t because he’s so Goddamn sappy

then he thinks about how someday there’ll be a woman who gets to see Marcus like this every day, the way he looked when it was just the two of them or at the dinner table, when the weight of the world falls off his shoulders and he lets himself want to be happy

there’s a woman who will get to sit at the counter like Oliver is doing and watch the shifting muscles in Marcus’s back as he cooks

maybe a little girl will run down the stairs laughing with bouncing pigtails and her father’s dimples and Oliver

Oliver wants with an aching that leaves him breathless and hollow and he thinks he chokes something out about the bathroom but he has honestly no idea and he gets the fuck out of there

because it hits him, suddenly, that Marcus is going to have this happy future without him and

Oliver takes the fuck off, runs out of there, and sprints to the soccer field, realizing when he gets there that he’s barefoot, wearing jeans, and phoneless

he sits there and just sobs, and then it starts raining, and he’s miserably sobbing in the rain and damn if that’s not the perfect accompaniment to his thoughts at the moment

after some amount of time a door is flung open next to him and he is bodily hauled into the backseat of a car

Marcus, looking intently forward and very noticeably not at him, grinds out “strip” and what the fuck

this is hardly the most appropriate situation but Oliver gives no shits at that point he’s exhausted

so he does as he’s told and Marcus shoves blankest back at him and he cocoons himself in them, still sniffling as they drive home

he falls asleep on the way back, probably, because the next thing he knows is that he’s waking up in Marcus’s bed and Marcus is reading a book on the sofa with the light streaming in behind him and that really didn’t help anything did it

why was Marcus so unfairly attractive it was, frankly, inconsiderate

anyways they stay at Marcus’s house for a while because “soccer, mom! soccer” and well

soccer

they practice but it’s domestic bliss and hell and Oliver is letting himself hope and it’s so painful and so hard and how the fuck is he supposed to deal with this

meanwhile Marcus is just Shook that Oliver hasn’t left yet, that his sunshine boy (the second he thinks this he decides to never use the term again, and to possibly rinse his brain with bleach) actually wants to spend time with him

Marcus is a puppy underneath all those layers of angst and they gripe at each other all the time and they’re grouchy but

they also have stupid inside jokes and they laugh about dumb cat videos online (although neither will admit to watching them) and they watch shitty action movies to critique them together

Marcus is just so enamored and terrified

he cares about Oliver so much and he knows that Oliver will leave him, just like everyone else, just like he did before

but he’s ignoring that and trying to enjoy the time he has with Oliver right now

anyways their spring break is disgustingly couple-y and the way they act is so gross and it’s just nasty and sweet and all those good things and they just decide to take what they can

they take walks and hold hands and they go to a carnival

they only go on the terrifying roller coasters though because they’re adrenaline junkies and hardcore men who Aren’t Gay

ok maybe not but if anyone says anything then they vehemently deny it

when they get back to school very little changes and no one really mentions anything but??

Marcus picks up Oliver every day???? so theres gotta be something right??????

Oliver looks at them blankly. “yes, we practice soccer together, I told you that.” “right, soccer” “yes, that is the sport I play”

no one’s stupid enough to say anything to Marcus

except Malfoy, the twat, but Marcus knows Oliver knows Potter, so it’s all good

but there’s a $467 pot riding on when they’ll admit they’re dating (winner-takes-all)

Oliver gets shitfaced and confesses to Angelina, Katie, and Alicia one night, and then his entire soccer team knows

they’re creepily good at keeping their mouths shut, but he suspects that’s because Harry’s still too busy with his legal issues to notice anything

one day he’s complaining to Angelina about how unfair it is that Marcus has attractive abs and an attractive personality, because what the fuck Ang that’s so unfair

and Marcus overhears their phone call and is like “ok that’s definitely platonic I mean he’s jealous obv no need to get my hopes up” and

it gets progressively gayer and gayer

they probably end up saying “I love you” to each other or something

every time this happens they think to themselves “I know I mean it romantically but Straight Man McHeteroson does not so don’t make it gay dammit”

and it gets so, so bad that all of their teams are so fed up

cue Operation: Bonfire

Ginny came up with the name. it was the best thing they didn’t all hate, so they kept it

their teams try to get them together, obsessively, and they’re just taking it the wrong way

honestly the Slytherins get in on it because God damn it it’s getting kinda pathetic and it’s not good to have a pathetic loser as your team captain

nothing works

school lets out, and preseason starts in a month

Oliver’s family (his parents and younger siblings) go to Scotland to visit relatives, but Oliver stays behind for soccer

of course, Mrs. Wood sighs, before kissing Oliver’s head and giving Marcus a hug

and Marcus and Oliver are living together again and it’s so disgusting and domestic

Angelina comes over for breakfast and she’s appalled at these two oblivious idiots and gives up on them

she texts Oliver “jesus this is nasty u 2 better work ur shit out”

Oliver sends back a string of emoji that she’s fairly sure were just a keyboard smash

Oliver cracks halfway through week 3

after two and a half weeks of this he’s so fucking done he can’t do this anymore

it might ruin everything but he can’t stand the constant picturing of this woman and their daughter and a happy, middle-aged Marcus being an attentive father and a doting husband and–God, he’s gay

so he kinda blurts it out one day

he still has no idea what he said

Marcus kinda blinks at him

and Oliver runs

but only upstairs. he learned his lesson last time

Marcus stares at the doorway for a good 5 minutes, processing

the first coherent thought he has is “damn, Montague’s going to lord this win over Malfoy for a good year. serves the prick right”

before he realizes what just happened and

why did Oliver run? what??

he’s too tired/hungry for this, so he goes back to sleep like the clueless asshole he is

Oliver tries to avoid Marcus, but he doesn’t have his license yet and he doesn’t want to run the 30 miles home so he just sulks around the house all day

finally Marcus catches him in the kitchen, crowding him from behind and sinking his nose into the crook of Oliver’s neck

Oliver freezes, his finger hovering over the buttons on the microwave, and how do microwaves work, again?

more importantly, why was Marcus????

Marcus mutters, “is this okay?” into the crook of Oliver’s neck and Oliver lets out this super embarrassing, breathy moan

it gets kinda nsfw and I’m too lazy to write that now but I totally will

they don’t fuck then though because it felt kinda like,,, rushing it? and they really didn’t need to

they spend so long at the beginning of their relationship making out and just learning each other’s bodies

neither of them ever thought that they’d get this, so they savor it

honestly they don’t really have sex for like a good 2 years because there are so many other interesting things to do together

like soccer

its gross & nasty just like them

anyways they go to the same college and are gay & happy

Oliver does end up blowing out his knee halfway through his professional career and they adopt a little girl

then another kid

then another

wow suddenly they have like 5 where did they all come from?

then it becomes dogs, and cats, and Oliver never knew what it was like to not live with a loud, happy family and Marcus never wants his children to know a silent house

but he still complains, because dammit Wood we’re not a walking, talking, adopting machine!

thx for listening to this radio broadcast brought to you by me, an independant au machine supported from contributions from readers like you