#anyway the ending made me lose my mind like wtf happened

[golden-moony]

king of my heart | pt. 4

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, landonorris, and 74,922 others!

yourusername life lately 💌

user1 swiftie, romcom lover and f1 fan... she's really one of us🩷

user2 and that's why she's the girlies' bestie

user3 QUEEN WE MISSED U SO MUCH

user4 as pretty as always 😍

user5 i'm probably reaching here but posting THAT movie feels like a statement's being made 👀

user6 right?? after all the drama she goes and posts that movie title and i just don't know how to feel user7 user6 thank god she just posted the title cause if she'd posted the "you can't lose something you never had" line, i would've lost my mind 😥 user8 or maybe yn just likes the movie??? user9 user8 THIS!! people act like there's a secret meaning to everything and i'm tired of that crap

user10 i'm a simple girl: i see yn and taylor swift in the same post, i like

user11 so what happened? were you starting to lose relevance and decided to come back?😂😂

user12 she needs to pay the bills somehow 😂 user13 girlie came back to keep playing the victim lol user14 y'all need to get a life asap.

user15 YOU DROP THIS QUEEN 👑

carmenmmundt gorgeous woman 😍

yourusername you are💗 user16 OMG MY FAV GIRLS INTERACTING user17 carmen please please please stay away from this problematic woman😕

user18 soooo are we gonna talk about lando liking the post or what

user19 girl i can't do this again user20 can't believe lando is back again with this bitch😒 user21 user20 wtf??? it's just a like omfg chill.

user22 yn please don't leave us again 🥺

📞 calling Pato

[yn; normal] [pato; cursive]

"Hi-"

"I'm not gonna lie, you are either very brave or very stupid for calling me right after the videos of your little date with Lando are going viral. Did you get tired of hiding your relationship?"

"...Guess I deserve that."

"[sights] What do you want, yn?"

"I swear I won't take up much of your time. I just want to talk... well, apologize, actually. I'd prefer to do it face to face rather than over the phone but I know that right now I'm probably the last person you wanna see. At least this way, if you don't wanna keep listening to me, you can just end the call."

"Well, I'm very tempted to end the call right now."

"Pato, I-"

"However, I'm also very curious about what you have to say."

"So...?"

"So I'll give you a chance to talk. But I promise you yn, if I hear any lame excuses, I will hang up and block you. Are we clear?"

"Hundred percent clear."

"Then talk."

"Well... first of all, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I promise it was never my intention to hurt you, even if I ended up doing it anyway. I should've told you from the beginning the kind of relationship I had with Lando and I should've been honest with you, especially when my feelings towards you changed to something deeper. I kno-"

"Hold on. What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"What did you just say?"

"That I'm sorry I lied to yo-"

"No, no. The part about your feelings."

"Oh. Well... you heard me. And I don't know why you sound so surprised. I mean, what happened between me and Lando in Spain was a stupid and terrible decision I made, and I should've known better cause my feelings for you were getting stronger."

"Then why did you sleep with him?"

"I... [sights]. I've thought about it a lot in the last few weeks, you know? I was trying to put all the blame on Lando when in the end I was the one who took the initiative. We were just going to talk to end that situationship once and for all, and then I kissed him. And instead of stopping him when he was going for more, I just let it happen cause in my head it was a form of goodbye. Clearly I ended up feeling guilty but the damage was done. And when I could've made things right by telling you the truth about what happened, I didn't. I was embarrassed, but mostly scared of losing the best man I've ever known... but that ended up happening anyway, and I'm to blame for that."

"..."

"Pato?"

"Did you love him?"

"No. We started out as friends and one day I realized I was attracted to him, one night one thing led to another and we became friends with benefits ever since. He didn't want a relationship at that time and neither did I. But in the last few months that changed for me. I wanted a partner, a committed relationship. Lando wasn't that and I was tired of being just a "casual thing". So no. I liked him, but I never loved him."

"So what was that date night about?"

"Just us being adults and having a real and necessary conversation. I had things to apologize for and so did he. I think Lando and I finally found common ground and are ready to move forward... not with each other, just to be clear. Just friends and nothing else."

"For real this time?"

"For real this time. My priorities and my heart are elsewhere."

"Oh, really? Where?"

"I could tell you or I could show you. To be honest, and if you let me, I'd rather show you. You know, actions speak louder than words."

"Yeah, I've heard that. You have any idea?"

"It depends. What are you doing on Friday?"

pacers

liked by elbaoward, tyresehaliburton, arrowmclaren, and 43,942 others!

pacers We had some motorsport representation in the house tonight!

user1 ynpato being hard launched (again?) by the pacers was not on my bingo card but i appreciate it🫶

user2 this is so random and i love it!! user3 the pacers earned my respect after this 🫡 user4 pacers stonks after this hard launch📈📈📈

user5 YNPATO BASKETBALL DATE? WE WON FR

user6 this is like straight out of a movie 😻 user7 THEY'RE SO ROMCOM CODED

user8 NOOO PATO NOT HER AGAIN 😫😫

user9 right? my week has been ruined. user10 keep cryin' haters 😘

indycar Hi yn and pato!! 👋

user11 basket date a few days after her post? she's an icon AND the mastermind fr 💅

user12 context?? user13 user12 her last ig post included a pic of "how to lose a guy in 10 days" and some people were speculating it could mean something, now yn goes with pato to a basketball game just like in the movie 😂 user14 SHE MANIFESTED IT AS THE QUEEN SHE IS🙌

user15 real question is: yourusername did Pato get you a soda?

patriciooward of course i did! 🙄 yourusername not only that but he also got his head in the game😏🏀 user16 I'M LIVING FOR THIS REFERENCES

user17 they make such a beautiful couple omg🥹

user18 are y'all forgetting she was in a date with lando just a few days ago????

user19 she belongs to the streets fr user20 the day y'all understand yn can be friends with lando or anyone is when you'll finally grow up.

user21 not related but she always slays with her outfits🔥

user22 fashion icon for real 🤩 user23 i want her wardrobe so bad😩

user24 YNPATO CONFIRMED 🚀🚀🚀

user25 i just wanna know if pato can fight 🤺

user26 i wanna be her so badly 😩

user27 same girl, same

yourusername posted to their story!

yourusername

liked by arrowmclaren, oscarpiastri, frosenqvist, and 79,889 others!

yourusername And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for. King of my heart, body and soul 🧡

user1 MOM AND DAD ARE THRIVING 😍

user2 and we love to see it! user3 this is their world and we're just living in it

user4 yn is stronger than me cause if Pato looked at me like in the second pic... 😳😳

user5 IKR??? I'M DEAD user6 i was not ready for that, i'm currently on the floor user7 i meaaaan she's dating him, she already won in life

user8 THE CAPTION???? omg they're so cute🥹

user9 YNPATO AND TAYLOR GANG WE WON

user10 relationship goals for real ❤️‍🔥

user11 tired of being a spectator, I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE😭

landonorris if you three weren't that cute i'd try to steal Norbi from you

patriciooward back off, Norris 🤺 landonorris watch out, O'Ward 🤺 yourusername oh hell no mclaren arrowmclaren may i have permission to ground these kids? mclaren you may proceed 😉 patriciooward WHAT landonorris THE BETRAYAL user12 i used to pray for interactions like these 😭😭 user13 user12 we've come so far 😭 user14 WAAAAR IS OOOOVER

user15 yn's living her best life and i'm so happy for her 🤧

elbaoward I don't appreciate being left out of the photo, but I love you lovebirds anyway 💘

yourusername imma post a dump of just beautiful pics of you😘 love u elbaoward i'll be waiting then ☺️ patriciooward i also want a photo dump🥺 yourusername no 😚 user16 i want to belong to this family so bad, do you need a nanny for Norbi or anything?

user17 atp I'm just waiting for the engagement announcement

user18 same but i don't think i'll survive it user19 CAN U IMAGINE? OMG

user20 tag yourself i'm Norbi in the last pic

patriciooward te amo, preciosa ❤️

yourusername love u more, handsome 🥰 user21 AND I LOVE YOU BOTH

taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @evie-119 @evans-dejong @minkyungseokie @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @eiaaasamantha @ijustgomessitupx @honethatty12 @daemyratwst @f1fan65 @littlexscarletxwitch @sheslikeacurse @charlottejpg @lichterfee @callsignwidow @phantomxoxo @stinkyjax @rubywingsracing @willowpains @urfavsgf @biitch-with-wifi @lightdragonrayne @illicitverstappen @herebereblogs @tvdtw4ever @nataliambc @norwayxo

author's note: AND THAT'S A WRAP! Thank you so much for giving this story a chance💖 To my Lando girlies, don't be mad! He was a jerk in this story but I'll post another one where he gets the love he actually deserves. And to my Pato girlies, stay tuned! I plan to post more stories with him cause it's what our lovely man deserves. And if you want me to write about some other driver, feel free to send me a request! I'll see what I can do🧡 See y'all soon!

[qqueenofhades]

what’s rook and rose, do i need to read it

kristen likes book

Kristen. Kristen I am disappoint. How have you possibly missed ALL THE SCREAMING I have done about this before??? Shame. SHAME.

Anyway, this is book one of Rook and Rose:

The other two are The Liar's Knot (book 2) and Labyrinth's Heart (book 3). I waited very impatiently for Labyrinth's Heart (it came out last August) and then descended into a fit of unhinged screaming that had SO many of my followers go "okay I'll read it" and then "oh no." It is an epic fantasy trilogy filled with so many things I love:

Fat Ass Books (each one is 600+ pages);

An incredible and well-built world that's basically Magical Venice (the authors are both anthropologists);

A unique and interesting magic system;

Excellent writing;

Complex political and social intrigue;

GARBAGE DISASTER BISEXUAL MEN (DEROSSI VARGO MY MOST BELOVED) WHO ARE APPROPRIATELY GAGA OVER THEIR TOUGH BADASS LADIES;

Sass!

Costumed vigilante anti-imperial superheroes!

An OT3 which made me lose my ever living mind in steadily less coherent increments, especially during book 3!

The occasional Absolutely Mad Lad plot development that left me wondering wtf had just happened but also enjoying it;

AND SO MUCH MORE!

The end result of all this screaming, apparently, was that unbeknownst to me until this very morning, when they reblogged something from me, I went WAIT A WHOLE ASS SECOND, and then went WAIT WHAT, is that one of the co-authors of the trilogy follows me here on ye olde Tumblr. To which I say: OH NO and also, I REGRET NOTHING.

So yes. Read it. Readdddddd ittttttt. The end.

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 25 ramble

one week into senior year and i already want to kill myself ??? not looking too good for me

anyway it's my favorite day because it's also the day of the umbrella academy season 4 and i'm gonna miss it so much i might cry

magnus time!!!

why are they making fun of alice for being worried about the deadly things stalking them. i am worried too.

I WILL START HUMPING YOUR LEG LMAO???

i love that things feel back to normal but i also don't because this means horrible things are going to alter them forever

i'm really worried about how gross this statement is going to be i saw things in the vague tag

also i was genuinely going to eat during this episode but i'm just gonna do it after, post school snack can be delayed for the greater good (my stomach)

kieran what happened to you..

there are so many red flags even trying to GET to this place oh my god

maggot mention. this will be horrific.

oh i get it. it's not a grill to feed hungry men. it's grilling hungry men. welcome back cannibalistic themes

the hunger is compelling them :scream emoji:

has anyone seen dead boy detectives?? episode 7 when edwin and charles walk through the gluttony level of hell (briefly) is what this reminds me of. i don't like it. i hated that scene.

wwwwwhat the not-noodles did wwhhhat

THERE'S A BANDAGE ON MY FINGER OH FUCK OFF

this made my day worse this is making my day worse somehow oh my god oh my god i need this to be over. this is my new mag18. i think i have issues with food horror.

POLEASE SKIP THE DETAILS OF DESSERT PLEASE I'M ALLERGIC TO DAIRY I DON'T NEED THIS PLEASE

shoutout kieran they actually seem really strong for this i guess????? go off. i wish you were vaguer with your writing.

oh. oh... ooooh.... cccan you not...

ALICE WTF DO U MEAN BY THAT ????? LMMAOOO?????

COLIN WTF? COLIN HEY? WELCOME BACK COLIN? WWWHAHTHHHHHH WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WAHAT

I KNEW IT? I THINK I CALLED THIS? I THINK I CALLED THIS? COLIN BABE. GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE I THINK?

HEYYYYY ARE NORRIS AND CHESTER OKAY. ARE THEY OKAY. DO THEY LIVE IN THE SERVERS. COLIN ? COLIN ? I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU COLIN

WHHHAT WHAT HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT HOOLY HSIT WHAT I JUMPED I JUMPED I'M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

hi lena babygirl. she needs to file so much paperwork i'm sure. oh my god he got arrested :(

sam bodytackled colin for alice? that's kinda cute sam you're back on my good side. polyoiar back on

well the server is fine. OKAY SAM WAIT YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING BABE GO OFF KING I'M SORRY FOR PUBLICALLY SHITTING ON YOU A LITTLE BIT

i wonder who the minister is? maybe next episode?

poor celia :( and i don't like that they're gonna hire someone new this feels ominous

someone help lena she did not want this

HAHAH I CALLED IT THE PAPERWORK

oh celia honey where did you go?? where did you end up??

poor celia :( also what the fuck guys

i will no longer be eating as it turns out. i did not like that one

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

part 2 of this

anyways, that’s that. things are fine, people are talked down of their motives, life is going back to normal. THEN OBITO SHOWS UP and it’s nothing but emotional turmoil between Kakashi and that orange masked moron. don’t even get me started on why Obito is doing all this evil stuff in the first place.

wtf do you mean Orbit, that thirty year old, buff, scarred, dopey, traumatized, texas two-steppin man is trying to ruin the world because his crush got gut punched to death when they were both FOURTEEN?

like babe, there’s more important things to worry about besides Rin and killing Kakashi. how are you gonna get crushed by a rock as a teen and instead of staying dead like a normal person you get revived, patched up with tar by your shady uncle, and go on a vengeful rampage for like 15 years. don’t piss me off.

so now it’s Orbit vs. Cashew which is more of a mass emotional hysteria between those two frenemies if anything. then, it’s Fishroll, Pink Doctor, Sigh, Yams, and the entire village vs. The Bad Girls Club.

when Naruto fights these troglodytes you’d think it would be a typical battle of one wins one loses but OF COURSE ITS NOT ITS NEVER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCE.

Naruto, the same kid who can control some of the most powerful ninjutsu, the dude who is besties with the fox demon in his mind, the orphan who had every right to become the villain, wins his fights not with bloodshed but by TALKING? no, don’t look at me. for practical reasons, i do not exist as this moment.

Naruto and company are all out there kicking ass and winning because why wouldn’t they. wanna know who’s not winning? Weasel because Sasuke found him and merked his blind self. yeah, Itachi let Sasuke kill him. wtf, who wrote that in? someone explain family therapy to these two before i call the police.

so when the Bad Girls Club are no longer a club aka hella hella dead or gone and that weird emotional thunderclap between Kakashi and Obito is done you’d think that’s a wrap. you’d think that’s it because everyone got what they wanted. well you’re wrong, sorry love.

because Naruto is STILL SNIFFING OUT SASUKE LIKE A BLOODHOUND WHOS ON THE PROWL.

i wanna point out that throughout the entire series Sasuke has made it clear he doesn’t want friends and Naruto basically said “well we’re married so to bad” and cuz of this whenever he did run into Sasuke it was always a fight. the constant back and forth between these two of betting on losing dogs, yin and yang, self-destruction, self-realization, and strength gain leads you to think Naruto will kill Sasuke because he couldn’t save Sasuke from himself.

that doesn’t happen, of course it doesn’t. that’s normal circumstance and we don’t do that here. have you been listening? don’t get me started fam I’ll punch walls.

Sasuke, the same dude who’s been against any form of emotional connection since day zero, suddenly faces the guy who’s been standing up for him despite all the destruction and death. what’s Sasuke do? admits he’s always lowkey cared for Naruto and the others. im leaving the function, i slipped on my own tears on the way out.

my Jonas brother in Christ, what? Sasuke, babe, get out of my house and be so serious.

i may not have a lot of muscle but i have unbridled female rage, a lot of questions, and a broken flat iron to help me find the god damn answers.

so yeah, he says “teehee oops”, helps rid of the remaining baddies, him and Naruto get matching missing limbs, and all is mostly forgiven.

what do you have left at the end of all this bullshit? traumatized kids who grow up, become something, get married, some have kids, and we never actually got the boyfriends we deserve. Sasuke is still trying to be Jesus of Suburbia, Naruto has a son who’s name sounds like Burrito.

i can not make this shit up, this series goes every direction yet also stays in a circle. if I showed any of the episodes to a victorian child or a modern day old person their heads would explode and it’d feel like chernobyl all over again.

what lessons did we learn by the end of the anime. one, don’t try to destroy the world when your crush dies in your teens. two, mind your business. three, seek family therapy before attempting murder. four, being gay is great and helping the homies is greater. and five, don’t get me started.

yall ever love an anime and/or show so much it becomes irritating? cuz i do.

anyways, it’s a great anime. good animation, relatable characters, amazing development of the world and people in it. i recommend it to everyone and yes it’s weird but we will ignore that. if you want weirder, watch One Piece.

thank you for coming to my yap session.

(again, unedited. sorry for mistakes, i might fix them later)

[iminyournotis]

I was thinking, "I don't even have any friends to be honest with, or tell my shit to, because everybody seems to have some kind of stake in my personal business," but then I remembered TUMBLR EXISTEDDD, so here I am.

1. Ended up snooping on my NINETEEN year old coworker last night because he skipped out on BK with me after work, and I got UNREASONABLY possessive, noticing that he was talking to the new girl at work, and I thought no WAY he's fucking her... She just started. (And he made a WHOOOLE thing to me abt how he doesn't want to hook up-- he just wants to find someone he loves and 'make love'. ((I was all, 'You're completely valid.' and then look at the camera like I'm in The Office then do the finger loop crazy sign at my head's temple, crossing my eyes. LOL.))) So I pulled back up after I finished getting BK alone because I was salty as hell and overly curious, and they were still there an hour and ten after close... I honestly scared them and embarrassed myself and I tore off.

2. Went to the gas station beforehand, because I had started smoking cigarettes again like a day or two ago, because I've been stressed about having Seb cock block his brother from me (and potentially for me. It's complicated.) and it lowkey feels like Caleb ALLLL over again, and it's making me lose my mind, so I'm back to stressedly chuffing.

Went to buy a pack, and this dude hollered in the gas station. I hollered back.

We were talking, I give him my phone number, I told him I'm willing to hook up, he's like 'alright, cool... Maybe pick me up later cause I need a whip,' I'm like, 'Okay.' Cue Burger King and checking where I shouldn't.

3. Go back to my parents' house and dude texts me asking if I was trying to link up... It's late, I tell him yeah anyway. I have work at 8:30, and it's already 11 or midnight by the time we're messaging each other. I end up pulling up to this bar I've never been to around midnight, and I end up taking him and his friend to get blazed out in a parking lot somewhere. Dude I was gonna hook up with doesn't smoke za, but his friend does. I get high and immediately get scared, because now I'm OVI, and I have two young Black men in my vehicle with me, and I get scared that some awful shit was fixing to happen, so I go, 'I'M GETTING YOU BOTH HOME SAFELY. I'm not pulling out until our seat belts are fastened, etc.' Went full mom mode. (Also, at this point, the young man I was with was 22, and his friend was 21. They thought I was younger than even them, which was hilarious. So another predatory woman moment for Mama.)

Drop 21 off. Go to drop 22 off next, but he takes me to this outfield out the way... We park, talk some; he hits it and as he's getting out of the backseat, I go, "Wait, did you finish?" He very non-chalantly said "Yeah," as he's putting his pants back on. I go, "... Did you cum inside me?" He responds pretty deadpan "Yeah." I'M LIKE "WHAT? Did you even plan on telling me???" He goes, "I mean, yeah." I was stunned. He's like, "I mean, you can take a Plan B if you don't feel safe." NFJSJFHJDN I was losing my mind. NOT the fucking point. He's like "Are you mad at me?" I'm like, "TO be honest, yeah."

I drive him back home, he forgets something in my car, I pull back around, he's tryna get me to stay at his mom's house with him for the night (which he pays rent at), I say no. I drive off. He goes, 'Actually, I forgot my hat, too.' I was like 10 minutes down the road and closer to home by the time I saw this message, so I'm like 'Man, I'm keeping it now. Sorry.' He's like, 'alright it's fine. lol.'

End scene. Oh, actually not, because by the time I get back into my city/town, it's like 3:30 AM. I didn't even wash my clothes, I still needed to shower, I haven't really been eating for the last week, so I thought, 'Fuck it. I'm calling off.'

Haven't called off a single time since starting, even through this lowkey nasty cold I had a few weeks ago. So my manager, who I'm WAY too involved with, was like 'wtf?? You're just not coming in?' I'm like yeah. She's like "What's your reason." All investigative. I'm like "Not been eating well. It's for my health." She goes, "Get well." I'm such a fucking loser.

So then I woke up like an hour ago at three PM, and here I am. ❤️ What the fuck is going on with my life, though.

[julysn]

fanfic ideas

(i would totally write these if i felt motivated. but i don’t. so now u have to listen to me.)

fandoms i had in mind: south park, unwind dystology, tcoaal. but these can be used for any fandom.

a/n: HI HELLO i would like to see these happen. so im dumping it on YOU. you’re welcome. most are x reader focused bc i have wrote those all my life, but u can switch these up idgaf

writers i see u sprinting at me from a mile away. it’s okay. slow down bookie. it’s okay i’m here.

ALSO IF YOU USE THESE GIVE CREDIT FOR INSPO 🙏 just put my user somewhere visible on the masterlist/notes or tag me 😉 it’s not that hard pookie

# south park ──

and yes u can use these ideas for any other piece of media. just give credit i am BEGGING 😭🙏🙏

— … unwind au. HELLO DO WE SEE THE VISION WTF?? cmon guys. stan and kyle being connor and hayden WTF DO U GUYS SEE IT wjat. kyle as connor definitely they’re pretty similar imo

— fingerbang au where it has four separate endings for the main four. but y/n is a stylist/manager/makeup artist (if u need it.. look up kpop fics for inspo)

— instead of tolkien and his parents moving in across tegridy farms, it’s y/n. yeah that’s all i got

— doubling down except heidi’s y/n, and y/n doesn’t get back with cartman.

this was one i attempted writing a WHILEEE ago but never really. yk. got the hang of it.

but basically to sum the idea up, it’ll be the entire doubling down episode except extended. like, it could play it longer and extra scenes (ex. extension of the dinner scene where they make fun of cartman to heidi, every scene in the montage written out)

— childhood best friends to enemies to lovers where y/n had a big fight w the love interest days before they moved. but then they move back to south park and (not surprisingly) they got a glow up and they’re hot now! so everyone tries to flirt w them but the love interest catches their eye and they’re still enemies ofc but they catch feelings

— this is more of a oneshot, but y/n asks someone (or a set of people) to get matching sanrio pajama pants. yeah. do whatever stinks

— high school au. where y/n is a sad emo loser and the love interest is popular. and they lose a bet and have to ask solemn little y/n out but y/n says yes so the love interest is like “….. im gonna break up with them after three months.” but (spoiler alert) THEY FALL IN LOVE!

bonus points for angst w happy ending. like y/n finds out about the bet or something and then the love interest is like “NO PLS. I NEED U. U DONR GET ME” and they’re vulnerable and desperate and y/n’s like “okay! 😊😊”

idea. hi. i have idea. y/n gets bullied for dating love interest so they’re protecting sad little y/n bc they feel bad and it’s really cute and love interest thinks “…….:…. why is y/n kinda cute.”

— DETECTIVE KYLE X CRIMINAL Y/N PLEASE IM BEGGING??? i Love him i Need This. ARAAAAHHHHH

— angel y/n who is pure and innocent but NOT NAIVE! please do not make y/n sound like how those 2013 wattpad fics would’ve made her sound. demon love interest.

is it just me or y/n is a separate entity. she’s banging every character in existence like what. also i’m not religious so i wouldn’t really know about this stuff

# unwind dystology ──

— au where risa isn’t in a state home and she has cool foster parents. and she has to babysit lucas but one day she meets connor bc he’s home (shocker!) and they become friends and he slowly stops being away from home to see her 💘💞🩷

— CAN WE GET SOME X READER UNWIND FICS PLEASE

— au where y/n gets hired to be connor and risa’s bodyguard. and risa has her gay awakening so connor and y/n get to know each other and fall in love!

— blind date hayconrisa. how will this happen? idk ask urself

— high school au. again. why am i so obsessed w high school au’s IM BARELY EVEN A FRESHMEN DAWG 😭 but anyways fake dating haycon. like maybe connors trying to escape from his admirers so he agrees to fake date hayden.

surprise surprise. THEY FALL IN LOVE THOSE GAY FUCKERS

— mermaid risa x sailors connor and hayden. i live laugh love hayconrisa.

— jackson wang party and hayden gets DRUNK (boy u are not old enough to be drinking!) so connor takes him home and takes care of him

— rockstar au. do we smell it

— guardian angel hayden who is never serious to the point connor’s like “….. are u seriously my guardian angel wtf”. but haycon. i lov haycon

— LIFEGUARD AU. LIFEGUARD CONNOR IS THE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF. WHERE ARE THE ARTISTS I NEED U

— risa or hayden has to tutor connor bc his dumbass is failing every subject (high school au)

— underage smoking + shotgun kisses in the graveyard…,,…. hayden somehow gets weed so he shares it w connor and risa and maybe haycon/conrisa shotgun kisses oneshot. hear me out hello

— yo chat can we get some more unwind angst w happy ending

— greek god/goddess au? dunno how that’s gonna work but i just came up w it

— LOVE BAND AU. connor being sad emo guitarist with a hot keyboardist girlfriend

— au where lev did clap at happy jack…,…

# tcoaal ──

i cooked way too hard w these. someone better write one of them and tag me (we’ll get married in a gorgeous cathedral if u do… 🌝)

also IK THESE ARE MORE FLESHED OUT THAN MY SP AND UNWIND ONES! it’s bc i prefer multi-chapter tcoaal fics

— me trying not to mention unwind au whenever i think of writing fics for other fandoms. NO BUT SEEEEE it would work so well. like maybe the graves parents wanna unwind ashley and andrew somehow finds out so him and ashley run away (andrews.. uh, 17? and ashley’s 15 prob. u gotta know the unwind lore for this to work)

maybe they’re like starkey when he killed that juvey cop. maybe they do kill juvey cops. maybe

— 1980s AU OMG where it takes place in the united states (did europe have a lot of arcades back then? but anyways. the united states had more arcades so let’s just say it takes place there) and andrew is the sad emo loser at the prize counter.

and y/n is babysitting for some kids when she (not specifically fem reader but i have a habit of using she/her when talking about y/n…) decides to take them to the arcade bada bing bada boom

and the two meet at the prize counter and they hit it off really well despite andrew being an absolute ass. and the kids are like “….. are they flirting” so then y/n begins to take them to the arcade more often to see andrew 💞💞🩷💘💘💞 and they get to know each other outside of him being at work

— nsfw ashley x y/n x andrew threesome smut where they take turns FUCKING y/n RAW!

w/ plot: ashley and andrew are both head over heels for y/n and they’re arguing over who gets to have you because.. um. idk. and then y/n shows up somehow and she’s like “guys what—“ and they immediately begin flirting with her

so she’s like “i like the both of u WANNA SEX” or something (cmon im not good at porn w plot) so they… yeah. they BANG!

— government detective/officer y/n who gets sent to track down the graves siblings. she finds them w a colleague and is sent on an undercover mission to somehow befriend them, get close to them and lure them into a trap where they get arrested

but in the process (surprise surprise) she falls for them! and there’s four separate endings. one for if y/n picked to save andrew, one if y/n picked ashley, one if y/n picked both and somehow kept her job and one if y/n eventually hid her feelings and just let both get arrested!

maybe even some epilogue chapters for all of the choices. like for the first two it’s y/n getting spooned/spooning the other as they talk about what would’ve happened i’d they didn’t escape (bc y/n was smart and made the one who got caught walk in front) and the remaining sibling doesn’t know that y/n still works for the gov’t.. for the third one maybe y/n moves in w them and they’re all poly now? dunno. still thinking. and for the last choice maybe y/n felt guilty and went to visit them in prison to confess but they’re both extremely pissed

smut for this one would be crazy 😭 “technically i’m getting paid to get closer to them so it won’t matter if i let them make me cum right” typa sex idk

also. maybe y/n’s getting cornered in an alleyway by some creep and as she’s about to try and strike andrew and ashley save her! and that’s where the attraction starts because she’s like “wait.. they kinda have morals.. like kinda”

— now hear me out i might b cooking w this. rock band au. ashley does drums, andrew guitar, y/n something else maybe singer bc she’s a talented queen. and they’ve all been friends since childhood and ashley doesn’t really have a problem w y/n bc she hasn’t made romantic advances on andrew and occasionally lets the two hang out bc yk. ashley. anyways something something something idk

— i have one thing on my mind. catgirl + catboy ashley and andrew who both meet y/n as she’s their parents’ neighbor who’s smoking on her porch. and they approach her for some reason maybe andrew wants a cig and y/n is the funniest person alive so they both grow a liking to her

love love love catgirl ashley killing her victims and then poking them with her tail as andrew just stands there like wtf

[riacte]

tip: if you’re feeling lightheaded but can’t sleep at 4am, do not go on a binge of your comfort mcyt stuff because you might end up having a wacky dream in which i was watching a stream and heard something that made me completely lose my mind. so naturally i went on tumblr.com and posted “before you yell at me YES i’m watching the stream” and in the tags was like “wtf can’t believe the ship is canon”.

then someone dmed me on discord like “umm can you confirm what you meant in that tumblr post?” and then it turns out i was so excited by the stream that i tuned out what they were saying next and misunderstood the situation 💀 it was another ship that became canonised 💀 and i got clowned on heavily and maybe crucified for spreading misinfo—

anyways i woke up and nothing chaotic appeared to have happened on tumblr so i was like “oh thank fuck it was a dream and i didn’t actually make an utter fool out of myself”

[myuntoldstory]

🥺🛒✨🍦🍷❌🎃👀

JAYNE THIS IS COMPREHENSIVE AF sdlkfjlkds ahahahaha but omg thank you very much for these! also obligatory butts~

-

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

i love, like, the quiet moments.

like this is any moment and im so sorry that's so dlsfkjldskf vague, but when things go microscopic and all is quiet, if that makes sense? so say, in that stuck in the elevator fic i talked about, it's when lily and james were just talking in a stuck elevator.

i kind of like those because it's quiet, and it's just the characters, and nothing matters outside of their bubble. it's just really nicely intimate so i tend to write more of those.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

okay! so obvious one is fluff.

just fluff lmao. like most of the things i write are fluff. also some angst sometimes, but it's mostly fluff. i like soft and romantic things so it's really what i want to write about. i love writing characters being in love and writing those quiet, in love moments that they share. it's become a bit of a barrier just because when i tend to write, it always ends up fluffy when, for example, i intended the story to be dark or sexy or something. i don't know lol. but yeah lots of fluff.

also lots of em dashes, this is more of a writing thing. i know i tend to use em dashes a lot.

before i used to start my stories with dialogue a lot. because it's always what i've been comfortable with. but then one day i was writing a chapter for an original story and i paused and realised: "the past three chapters have all opened with dialogue, wtf". so not only did i change that chapter lmao but also kind of made myself mindful of how i start stories in the future.

themes of love. always love. used to be, like, romantic love, but over the years i've explored love that relates more to family. again, it's just something i want to write. not to say i can't write any other genre than love, but it has to have that element somewhere.

there was a time where i always included like, mugs or cups filled with hot liquids and the steam just curls up in the air lol. i feel like that alone sets the tone of things when i write. like always cosy, i guess, but it's kind of a versatile cosy, if that makes sense lol.

this is more of a bad habit, but i know i tend to over explain or over describe things. and i know my readers are intelligent af and can figure out things from how i implied it in my stories, but i still worry that my meaning's not coming across so i tend to over do the prose and end up with blocks upon blocks of unnecessary prose lol.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

*pats back* that'll do, piggy, that'll do. :D

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

sweetest!? oh gosh...

okay, i have two. i don't know if it's necessarily the sweetest fic i've done, but:

balderdash is one. that's i guess the published one. i seem to have a favourite of exploring just what happens if james and lily lived beyond... or i guess, just living as a young couple about to be parents. because we never really got to see them as parents or how they even coped with being expectant parents and then becoming parents; it's always fun to explore. and, not to sound sentimental, also just give them a chance to live happily lol.

unpublished is this modern au oneshot of lily and james being stuck in an elevator and bonding that way. i had a whole backstory included in it which kind of morphed the one-shot into a multi-chap fic. me during that time just lose steam every time i come across something i have to do myself lol. sorry for being lazy. anyway! snippet of the story below.

p.s. the writing's super rough because it's been stuck in draft mode.

“You reckon we should’ve thrown them a crisp or something?” Sirius asked as he munched on a handful of Pringles. Things are getting interesting now—the couple seemed to be on their third laugh trip. The first one lasted for a good two minutes and after, they no longer played the game as their conversation restarted as though it had never paused in the first place. While everyone in the security room did, they seemed to never noticed how they never moved away or how their hands remained together.

“And risk ourselves being found out?” Harry exclaimed. “No. No way.”

“Speaking of,” Cresswell interjected and gave the troublemakers a stern glance. “What happens after this?”

“After what?” Sirius replied.

“We very well can’t keep these two in the lift forever.”

“Can’t we?”

“No.”

“Why not? The building has another operational lift, yeah?”

“Black, I swear to God—”

“Call Frank?” Harry quipped, making the adults look at him.

“Oi—good thinking, Harry! And it’s his day off too” Sirius ruffled Harry’s hair before pulling out his mobile.

“Who the hell’s Frank?” Dirk asked Harry.

Harry shrugged as he kept his eyes stuck to the monitors. “Dad and Sirius’ mate in the Yard.”

Now, the feed showed that Lily and James had finally separated; they resumed their positions of sitting against the wall. They continued to talk, though, the smiles on their faces seemed a permanent thing now. Harry couldn’t help smiling as he recognised the expression on his father’s face… the kind James always wore when he was in love—gentle, helpless, and full of love. Harry’s mother was the only receiving end of such expression until she left. To see it after all these years made Harry more certain of his decision. Lily and his dad were meant to be together—he knew it.

🍷 Do you drink and write?

alcoholic? no, i'm not that sophisticated.

coffee and tea? for sure. also unavoidable when i write in cafes, like my local starbucks, though i usually just order the iced teas there. when i decide to write i sit there for a solid 6-8 hours so i have to plan and like... drink maybe a grande size for the first three hours and then venti in the next three just so i don't fill my bladder immediately ldsjdslkjfd. tmi but yeah. but yeah all iced teas, food at the side too so i have energy lol.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

ohhh. omg okay. okay just a disclaimer that my answer to this question isn't like a blanket "i hate these trope" but more of a "i don't feel i can do this justice".

abo - because i don't understand enough of this to do it justice. i mean, i've read it, and i understand the concept but then i fear that if i write it, it would just automatically go into furry territory. which isn't bad, of course, but yeah.

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

yes i did!

pretty sure i wrote one for halloween, which celebrated the season but also the death anniversary of jily. that one's my favourite one just because, wow, i managed to write something that reflects the cosiness of the season.

you know what, i think halloween is my most written season just because i also wrote a macblack fic for it too. not necessarily my favourite just because of how lengthy it became and i remember losing steam, as i usually do when it dawns on me that, holy shit, what i've written was longer than intended.

but yeah. gotta love that spooky season!

in saying that i would like to write something for christmas (sorry i know this isn't part of the questions but shhh shhh it's gonna be okay). and other holidays like easter??? i think ahahaha like bunnies and easter chocolates. but yeah, future plans!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

i'm writing a blackdonald fic inspired by a new hozier song, "too sweet" (which is like the most perfect sirius black song i've heard in a while. fight me on this). look, i only have dialogue because that tends to stick with me first. the dialogue comes first and i just stitch it together with prose dlkfjdlsfjfld. but, yeah, nothing too special, it's a one-shot, uhm... sexy??? i think??? well i'll try to make it sexy, you know i've only ever written... uh... one official smut. so. you know.

anyway, here's a snippet lol:

“You just got cheated on.” “I’m also not your type.” “Fuck it.”

do with that what you will. even i don't know where it goes after this lmao.

[flowered-mp3]

pls ignore this (unless you’re curious), i’m literally just going to rant about this guy that i’m seeing because he makes my brain hurt and i’m kinda freaking out over it

date number god damn three went horrifically well. i’m a god damn mess. his guy actually likes me and i like him (i actually made him tell me that he likes me in plain language lmfao). 

this date was chaotic as shit, but it was the most fun that i’ve had in a long time. i spent over 12 hours with him. we went to the mall to play a stupid fucking game, went to an arcade place (but he couldn’t reload his points properly to play the games and we were CRYING laughing because he felt so embarrassed but it was funny to both of us because it was super chaotic), and then we went to a restaurant to eat dinner instead BUT it was a 30 min wait so we go to a wendy’s instead BUT no one was at the drive thru so we settled on eating mcdonalds in his car LMAO. he also admitted that he didn’t eat the entire fucking day during this “searching for food” process and i got kinda mad and yelled “WHAT?” and he laughed at my response but then i remembered that i also didn’t eat since he picked me up and i felt bad alsdfjlkj

so as we were getting food i was like “i feel so bad i’m so sorry for not saying something or suggesting that we get food” and this MAN puts his hand on my thigh and said that it’s not my fault in that comforting voice that he has and my brain-short circuited so much to the point that i held his hand immediately and interlaced our fingers?!?!? i squeeze his hand and he squeezes back? then after we eat mcdonalds in his car he drives me back home, but parks 2 mins away in my residential area to talk (just like our first date). we hold hands again and cuddle in his car at 10:30 pm and it’s dark out LIKE WTF and then my arm was falling asleep so i ended up hugging his arm (?) lol and his hand was resting on my thigh and he started rubbing his thumb against my thigh like FUCK that’s so fucking hot of him like my GOD why tf like WHAT IS THIS DATE

we talk about relationship shit, and essentially talk about our fears and stuff. i literally said that i like him and that it terrifies me and he says that he’s scared too. then he asks about my past relationships with men and i answer them and i ask stuff too. he says that all three of our dates are in his top 5 of all time. idk how to do this anymore. i’m fucking scared. i don’t know what’s happening to me. 

but he made me laugh so much, like i genuinely cannot remember the last time that i laughed and smiled that much. i don’t think that i’ve ever felt so comfortable with someone in a long time. we matched and i felt nothing. i responded on a whim. first phone call i was like “oh. he’s funny and i laughed alot”, then first date i was like “oh, he’s cute and fun to be around.” and now i’m like “i want to see you all the time and kiss your stupid fucking mouth and hold your fucking hand and share my fears and goals and experiences with you. i want to learn about your interests. you’re so dorky but i’m so unbelieveably attracted to you that i want you to do filthy things to me and i want to do filthy things to you and [redacted]”

BUT U KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING KICKER IS? he’s also seeing another girl so i am trying my absolute best to remain unfazed and uninvested. like i signed up for this. i KNEW that he was also talking to another girl. i KNOW that i signed up for this. but all i can do at this point is wait it out, and see where it goes. who knows, maybe this feeling will go away, and this whole rant is pointless but i’m losing my mind right now when i know that i shouldn’t be but i am anyway. 

[the-invisible-queer]

I fucking KNEW watching all that Power Rangers and seeing JDF before bed was gonna make me dream AND IT FUCKING DID

Anyway I had a Criminal Minds/Power Rangers crossover dream and it was wild

Right so in the dream I was like the Power Rangers' connect with the US government. So my whole job was to report on the shit they were doing.

I was married to Tommy BUT APPARENTLY there was trouble in paradise because I was having an affair with Mat Cruz from CM which like I WOULD NEVER 😭

It was such a cliche affair because I think I told Mat "you understand me more than *he* does" LIKE EXCUSE ME BITCH

Tommy who was in charge of recruiting new Rangers whenever there was an opening invited me out on a mission

I'm a paperwork bitch I don't belong on the field

So when I was telling Mat about it he joked about me barely even being able to use a gun and offered to give me training but apparently I had my own Ranger suit that was an "in case of emergencies" type situation and I showed him my morpher which was a Light Speed Rescue one which is wild I would have thought my nerd ass would have a Dino Thunder morpher but I digress

And Mat was like "since when" and I told him about a time Tommy had one made for me because I almost died in the field and that's why I usually stay at my desk job

So then he's like "then why does he want you back on the field if I were him I'd keep you in your office where you're safe" but he said it so protective 🥺

So anyway the day comes and I'm in my office prepping for this mission and Mat and Tommy show up at the same time and I'm just like "hi"

Mat is there like "by the way I have a back up team at the ready if shit goes down" and Tommy is so grateful and like I didn't think he knew about the affair (but I was wrong 😭)

And Tommy is there to brief me for the mission and after Mat leaves he goes "I like him good to know if something happens to me he'll take care of you" LIKE WHAT 😭 and I'm like "wtf are you talking about" and he just doesn't address it further and just tells me about the mission but I'm still like 😳

Mission happens and shit goes DOWN

And I am unprepared so I do call for backup because these nerds are getting their asses kicked and I lose sight of Tommy and Mat is like "wait for backup" but I'm like "I gotta find him" LIKE A DUMBASS and Mat is trying to convince me to not be fucking dumb so I turn off communications

Never have I ever said dream me was smart

I fucking morph into my suit which I can't see from first person but based on the gloves and morpher I guess I replaced Ryan as the titanium ranger which like fine whatever

I find Tommy after my dumbass gets captured and man is fighting for his life fully injured, barely conscious and I'm trying to make sure this man doesn't pass out and I'm talking to him and he's mumbling responses to me

I was asking him about moments from our relationship and basically once again I am questioning how dream me would ever cheat on him

Anyway we get captured by Mat and his backup team and at the hospital in in Tommy's room as he's recovering and Mat comes by to explain that despite the setbacks the mission was a success and he gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he leaves and aftrt he leaves Tommy is like "I know"

And I'm like "know what?"

And we end up having a very serious discussion about our relationship and what's gonna happen moving forward

Long story short Tommy snd I get a divorce but we remain friends

And I guess dream me lived their best life with Mat Cruz

[booksandwords]

Exchange of Power by Tricia Owens

Series: Juxtapose City, #8 Read time: 4 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: "Don't die," Starr murmured against his lips. "It might have been okay before, when it was only about the sex between us. But not now, Darkness. I'm in too deep to lose you now." — Calyx Starr

Warnings: Read this book with caution. There are no warnings as to the true content. The Juxtapose City series contains multiple incidents of dubious consent, murder, drug use, torture, incest, oh and the occasional light blackmail.

😵🤯😘 And we are back to wtf just happened??? There is a lot to digest from the last maybe 20% of this. Game-changing events. Moments of just why. Sex as power is nothing new to Juxtapose City but some of how it is used here is... offputting maybe. We have new antagonists with differing motives and new relationships but it is still Black and Calyx against the world. Masochistic Black is back and I'm really not sure how I feel about that. The payoff to that in a way is that we get to see Calyx, the former whore, as what is possibly the strongest ace advocate in the city. As stated sex is power so in this world it really can mean next to nothing. It is good if maybe end heavy entry, lots of arc conclusions and full stops. It feels like a hark back to the original style of the series.

I'm writing this review nearly a year after I read the book, it is going to be largely dot points. These are just things to be remembered going forward and things that I appreciated.

I want to say that this starts off in Captain Dick's head. He doesn't appear much after that. But what we do get from that time with him is incredibly important. It is an explanation of what he's been doing all this time. F***er.

The title Exchange of Power is perfect, it doesn't make sense until the end. And I promise you it will make sense at the end. And at that point, it made me so emotional.

Masochistic Black and uber-possessive Starr both appear with more frequency in this than they have for a while, Starr is a possessive creature anyway but there is a scene in this that triggers him badly. And leads to an interesting moment of character clash. In a way that is near painful to read.

This has one of Parker's visions a strong and rather terrifying one. But I'm trying to figure out the context of it given the ending of the book. It feels like it is definitely going to come back later. (Parker)

Calyx was armed with a faze whip. He wanted to wrap it around Kard's nuts and repeatedly push the button. Hell, he wanted to stand on the button. — I mean given what Kard is doing with Black I don't blame him. (Calyx)

"I want to hitch my wagon to yours. I've heard rumors on the streets about what's on the horizon and I want to make sure I'm high enough up the food chain that I can make a difference when it happens." "You're talking war." — This is a clever play, for both of them. Sundhill has done his time as the villain de jour now he gets to be a half-valuable ally. And he will make a good ally in his own way. (Black and Sundhill)

Sundhill broke the kiss again to suck on his earlobe. "Agent Starr has his hand down his pants," he whispered. Black shuddered violently. "He likes watching us." Sundhill sounded smug. Black didn't care. The thought of Starr watching him prostitute himself to the Golden Wonder both shamed him and turned him on in the dirtiest of ways. — These two and Starr have the most messed up relationship. But there are some smart language choices here, Black referring to Sundhill as the Golden Wonder. (Sundhill and Black)

"You sure as hell didn't warn me you were going to do that! Did it slip your mind that Sundhill wasn't wearing a Bliss tab? I felt every fucking second of that man's lust for you, Darkness! I felt everything he felt when he was talking about fucking your face and ordering you around. My god, I need to scrub my brain out now because of that!" — This is Starr's reaction to the moments of the quotes before. Starr wasn't jealous so much as pissed and reacting as is only normal for someone (in particular a former sex worker who enjoyed it) who is in the middle of a sexual feedback loop. (Calyx)

"I know what you're doing," Calyx sobbed against his ear. "I won't let you do it. You're not using me to punish you. I get that you hate yourself for what you did to us, but that's where this ends. I'm not letting you turn this into something even uglier." "It already is!" — Calyx has a serious possessive streak that is on full display here and Black wants his masochistic itch scratched. This is the moment in which they both break. Black is punishing himself and using Starr and his love as a weapon. (Calyx and Black)

"If you want to hurt me, then hurt me." Black held out his wrists, tight together. "Cuff me and punish me. Make me scream and cry. Make yourself feel better. I deserve it, don't I? I've brought nothing but misery and suffering to your life. You're right. You can't trust me. Every other word out of my mouth is a lie. My name is a lie. You hate that about me so get some of your own back. I'll let you." — Black wants to be punished it's that streak again. I love how Calyx in all his glory decides to punish him. It is a moment of pure power for Calyx and something that Black needed.

It wasn't sex he wanted, but connection. Sex was poor glue for holding two people together. Having fucked a few hundred people, Calyx knew this better than most. — 😆 The former whore may just be the best ace advocate in this world. (Calyx)

"How can you love me this much? How can you forgive me? I'm nothing but a monster." Calyx groaned and hugged Black tighter. "Don't ask me questions like that, okay, sweetheart? You break my fucking heart." "I think you're trying to burst mine," — This is a moment of pure love between them. It almost broke me. Black is back in his dark near self-loathing points. (Black and Calyx)

"I love you, Parker. Fuck, I don't care if we're supposed to be on opposite sides of this war. I don't even care if I have to sit in the bunker and knit sweaters for you. I just—I won't let anyone tear us apart. Tell me what I have to do to keep you with me." — Is that the first time we've heard him vocalise his emotions? Love being the most important here. They've done all but never said the words. And there is such desperation here, Jake needs Parker at this point, more than he needs oxygen. (Jake)

2nd Quote: It hit him like paint thrown at a wall: reds and purple, anger and fear; blues and grays, violence and despair— "The fuck you've got my fucking back you fucker—" —green for Calyx's eyes, black for Black who screams and screams, and charcoal, gunpowder, and smoke— "—you don't know shit, you motherfu—" —pulling at his arm as Black screams and there's icy blue and Genesis-noPhoenix-noGenesis-noPhoenix is jumping at him and the explosion is yellows and oranges and somewhere there is green, green for Calyx's eyes as Black is screaming, screaming because of the red...I wanted this in here. — Parker

[jjungkooksthighs]

No. No. Nooo!!!!! I feel like I've been waiting 50 years for this chapter, only for you to leave it on such a horrific cliffhanger!! There is no way you're gonna kill off alpha Jungkook! I refuse to believe it. Honestly, I felt my heart plummet into my stomach when I read that cliffhanger. A part of me was in such disbelief I had to re-read the last paragraph. I'm in a state of shock right now. Wtf just happened!

Throughout the last few chapters of lead up to the battle, I always thought JK was a little too cocky about his fighting ability. And while I knew he could easily beat Tae and Jimin, I always thought Yoongi was a wildcard. He seems to be a much better fighter and that he could possibly beat JK. So a part of me was a little worried for JK. I was actually wondering if he could lose to Yoongi in the story, and what the story would look like if that happened. But then you started doing all the alpha!jungkook asks, which seemed to take place after the battle. So that kind of lulled me into a false security of "oh he wins the fight". Even though nothing in the asks confirmed he won. While reading this chapter, I was kind of expecting Yoongi to jump in somewhere. But he didn't. Until the very end. And now I'm left stunned speechless. I really hope that it doesn't take another 8 months to find out if Jungkook survives the fight! My sanity can't handle it. I completely understand why it was so important to you to get this fight right, and I definitely think you nailed it. But I think now the pressure falls on the Jungkook/Yoongi battle, so I fear it will take you just as long to write the next chapter. But I feel like it wouldn't fit the story if Jungkook dies. The whole story has been lead up to him claiming her and the really freakin' awesome smut scene that is supposed to follow it. And if he dies, I feel like I would be jipped out of what the story was doing for 13 chapters. And if Yoongi wins that means he forcefully claims and rapes OC over and over again. I'm not sure that would be a good rest of the story! LOL So I'm pretty sure Jungkook will win. I'm like 80/20 on Jungkook winning over Yoongi. But now I'm thinking what ifs. What if Jungkook does lose to Yoongi, but can't handle the thought of losing OC, so he goes rogue, steals OC, and they run away together, forever to be hunted by Yoongi. See now my mind is wandering all over the place with what could happen in the next chapter. This is why I hope it doesn't take 8 months to find out. I will probably pull out all my hair by then!

A horrific ending, you say? Oh dear… that’s not good. Hard to hear that something I wrote was horrific. :/

Anyway, It has been a little while since COC was updated, but as I went over in my author’s note, it was important to me that this chapter was done right and that it was everything that I envisioned in my head. This chapter and the next one both were one of the first ideas I had for this story, so I wasn’t happy with what I was producing prior to posting.

Of course, being that I am a very self-critical person, I wasn’t entirely happy with how this one came out. I felt like I could have done it better, but it came to a point where I just couldn’t stand to keep deleting what I had anymore, and so I made myself keep going until this chapter was finished through a 3-4 day period.

It seems like what most talking about is that ending. It’s not a kind of ending I’ve ever written before, but then again, I’ve always tried to challenge myself to being in new elements and facets to my writing so that I can continue to develop it.

You seem very worried about Jungkook, but I think it would assuage you a little if you remember all the things that your alpha has promised to you and what he’s told you about his seasoned status in combat.

After all, one does not come to be the Lead/Pack Alpha unless all other alphas submit/yield to him. For that, he would have to battle any alpha that tried to take his title/rank.

Even Yoongi.

Recall that Jungkook has asked you to trust in him. To believe in him. For his sake, you should.

Also, the next update won’t take months. I promise.

[soundof-rain]

Hello Again

Hello, I know it’s been a very veryyy long time since i’ve been here & it may be a long time again after this post but i’m here now so that’s what matters. Today is 11/22/2022 and there is so much that has happened over the past year that one couldn’t even imagine ; I moved away from my toxic family for good and settled in seattle - a HUGE leap of faith on my end but when a plan is conspired with everyones interest in mind but yours you have to make do and just DO something. So I did. I landed here a year ago with whatever money I had left from unemployment and my belongings and made due, I didn’t know the area, I didn’t know the people I didn’t know where to start but again I did something because I had to and it turned out to be the best I could do in that circumstance. I lived in a hostel for a few months -The Green Tortoise- until I found my footing and could afford an apartment, I started working literally my first full week here as a concierge and the ball began rolling from there. I used to work long shifts to start out pulling multiple 12 and 16 hour shifts a week and even though I was tired I had money to make so I could stop shacking up with randoms every night. 

I was stressed depressed and losing my mind in every sense of the meaning honestly but in true me fashion I just kept on going. I remember one night in the hostel I was in a room with all men , one of which on the bunkbeds directly across from me was snoring like he slept on the plushest cloud in the sky, so his bottom bunk mate began kicking his bunk from below to get him to quiet down-This did not turn out so well. The cloud sleeper (or top bunk occupant) woke up and they exchanged words the first time then it happened again and when he climbed down that narrow ladder all hell broke loose. Top bunk occupant began threatening bottom bunk and getting dressed “welcoming” him to get up and fight him and although that was anything but what bottom occupant wanted a fight broke anyway. A partially naked one at that. I forget what led to the men getting physical but all i know is one second their arguing and the next a naked man is slammed on my bunk - talk about crazy. There were also good times in the hostel as well that I won’t get into because that not what this is about lol. Finding living definitely was hard having to move my bags constantly , I remember an uber driver threw all my belongings in the middle of the street in china town in the rain and pulled off lol, wasn’t funny then and it still isn’t now but I just couldn’t believe that happened. The lack of decency some people have is outrageous. Anyway I finally found an apartment around December and jumped through some hoops to get the apartment due to me not having credit but I still managed to get through and set my move in date, which left me standing outside in the freezing cold for about an hour and a half because they were notoriously slow and my keys weren’t in the combination lock where and WHEN it was supposed to be, l o l. A lot of little happenings like this took place I also had A LOT of break downs , like A LOT but being a fresh 21 year old (I turned 21 in seattle) who doesn’t have any friends nor family and no idea wtf is going on with your life you’re bound to freak the fuck out. Fast forward the entire year of 22′ and a handful of jobs later , I sit here in my apartment writing this for you all, who’s you all? Not sure but whoever decides to read this I hope you’re thoroughly entertained by my mess. 

This post was honestly supposed to be about how i’m feeling right now in regards to the holidays and/or lack thereof for me. My birthday was 2 days ago and I turned 22 ! WHOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !! However that was spent in my apartment alone with a grocery store cake and some takeout , I received literally 5 happy birthdays , one of which was sung to me so I really whole heartedly appreciate that to my core, I sung happy birthday to myself and blew out the candles by myself and enjoyed the rest of the day watching movies. Nothing spectacular nor special but it was an intimate little moment for me and the fact that I was able to still find happiness despite being sorely alone means a lot to me, it was never about how many people cared enough to remember , I honestly expected 3 tops. But, now as the last few holidays of the year are approaching , the most family oriented ones, I’m stuck wondering when it’ll be my turn to experience it . For me right now there is nothing special about holidays its just another day, birthday included, and I spend them working or in my apartment under the covers for the day and that really fucking sucks if I say so myself , and I do say so myself. Still don’t have any friends, no family either and it just makes me wonder if I’ll ever get that Holiday Spirit vibe in my life ever again yknow. When you’re in certain situations it can make it hard to see alternative ways of being or happenings for yourself so you kind of just have to have faith. It’s like what are the chances I’ll be alone forever and never have holiday joy or even people that like me and enjoy me enough to spend holidays with me , there’s definitely a chance but how high is it exactly? I’m not a bad person and I’ve done more than enough healing this year that I know it’s not happening to me it’s happening for me so that really changed my outlook on a lot of situations to the point where there’s not sorrow or pity it’s just being like okay yes i’m alone but this is what it is for RIGHT NOW! It won’t be like this forever, do I know when it’ll change ? Nope but all I can do for myself is not dwell on it and hope for the best. 

[4giorno]

continuation to the last post 😘 i reached tag limit. anyway SPOILER WARNING on this one

[animes-trash]

Lawless’s growth

Ah, here am I, back into Greed Pair hell. Welp. 

So, in this current arc, Strike has given us some good Lawless content, and parallels. After I was utterly destroyed by chapter 117 - 118, i decided to get a bit deeper into Lawless’s growth. 

First of all, let’s acknowledge the trust that Licht and Lawless now have in each other. Even before getting into the fight with Jeje, we can see that Hyde is not the same as before with one big parallel (that some people already talked about on this site).

The first picture is from chapter 27.5, the second if from 106. The pose is obviously the same, to parallel just how much Lawless has changed between those two moments, In the first panel, he is rambling about how human lives are useless and how everyone dies in the end anyway (fucking emo).

But in the second panel, he is actively searching for Nicco, World End’s eve. In this translation, Hyde thinks “I already know what it means to find that one person*. It’s good but quite vague, whereas the official french traduction is slightly different, and I love it. Translated it says “I know what it’s like to finally find a good eve... that we don’t want to leave.”. This says so much about how Lawless has changed. His bond with Licht has become so strong with time, it’s not even that he tolerates him or something, he wants to stay with him. Knowing where he comes from, that’s a huge step.

Now, getting to the fight. (Or you can read this post where I ramble about how Licht jumped of a window).

So. Jeje unexpectedly (to Lawless, at least) hurts Licht’s hand. Beforehand, Hyde said that he’d be the one to get close to Jeje because he can survive bullets and all, to protect Licht. Why would Jeje get interested in the human anyway ? The real fight is between Servamps. Or so he thinks. And I find this panel very important.

“You’re implying that Licht is my weakness ?!” He thinks this as if it made no sense. But this is absolutely right. I don’t know if Jeje thought this far, but he knows about Lawless’s past and his story about Ophelia. He knows it’s a trigger for him, so in a bitchy way, he attacked Licht.

And boy does it work. That grin that Hyde has ? It’s his nervousness acting up. We’ve seen his laughter fits before when the situation got out of hand to him. He then straight up fights Jeje, and he is angry.

But as soon as Jeje’s guns point toward Licht ? He just loses it and completely panics.

I’ve thought about it for hours, and that’s the only way I can interpret what happened afterwards. Utter panic. That “don’t mess with me !” line ? That’s just his anxiety showing up as anger. Also, the not on my watch panel, doesn’t it remind you of another chapter, way back ?

Strike, those parallels are going to kill. (Sorry. I’m sobbing as well, seeing this picture.)

I don’t know if we can talk about PTSD for immortal vampires, but if we can, damn does Lawless have it. What happened with Ophelia traumatized him hard for centuries. He’s starting to heal, but some wounds can’t be fully closed. Especially with Licht getting shot. 

(Lot of pain coming)

As soon as Hyde tries to put Jeje’s gun away, his arm fail him, and he starts to- what, melt ? I had a big wtf is happening moment reading this chapter. I first thought that he was starting to feel the consequences of getting attacked by Tsubaki, like Lily. But then I realized that it isn’t his body failing him, it’s his mind. I don’t know if we can talk of a panic attack, but it sure looks like one. And in a way, I think we can say that it’s because of Tsubaki.

Remember, what mostly changed about Hyde is that he’s really emotional now. In the C3 arc, when we discover it, it’s mostly put as a joke. Haha he cried a lot now. But for someone with as much emotional baggage like him, it’s truly dangerous. Like right now, because his fears and trauma are getting the better of him and make him unable to fight- to protect Licht.

And he’s not only melting, he’s crying. Panic attack, hello. Again, I’m saying, look at how traumatized he is ! “I failed to protect someone again. I always fail”. (Don’t mind me wetting my keyboard as I’m sobbing). Also, that pose on the ground ? He’s losing it.

I still wonder about Lilac’s panel. Is it just for the panic parallel, or is Lawless saying that he regrets killing all of Tsubaki’s subclasses ? The way he sounds, it’s like he thinks he deserves it. We’re back on the theme of his growth. Before, he never would have put his actions in question.

Anyway, he’s starting to melt into his “demon” form again. (Still wondering how the Count decided to merge Hyde with this). If we remember, he’s transforming into some useless blob. Again, I don’t know if Jeje thought this far, but it almost worked. If he totally went back into the blob, he would have been unable to fight.

But thank the gods, Licht is there for him. “Hyde, get a grip, you idiot”. It’s so them. Lawless is stuck in his panic of Licht dying, but even if he got shot, it’s only his arm. It’s not a vital point at all. Licht isn’t in any danger. (Well, medically yes, but it is a manga and he’s a main character). My only fear is that Licht is a pianist, and he needs his arm to work. (Once again, it’s a manga. If Licht has troubles playing the piano afterwards, it’ll only be because Strike choses it. Also, look at Mahiru’s arm. Not a single sequel. So yeah, author’s choice. (THINK OF THE ANGST THOUGH. FANFIC INCOMING)).

Anyhow, the scene cuts there to the rest of the fight. It could be the end, but we learn more in the raws of chapter 120.

(No ads for me. Sniff.)

That’s truly after I saw these panels that I was sure that Lawless’s condition wasn’t him getting affected by something exterior. As soon as he gets his mind together, he’s good to go. I quickly used google translate, so basically what World End says is “Lawless ! What you said was right. As expected of Big Brother. If you care for you master, protect him properly. It’s a little rough”.

In this scene, Nicco survived a gunshot to the gut after shenanigans in World End’s core (or whatever). Point is, he’s alive. That obviously cheers up Hyde who can think properly again (and he probably understood that Licht’s not in mortal danger by now). As soon as he’s calm, his body gets right again.

To conclude, Lawless of Greed is a character who is really deep, more than we can think. He’s gone such a long way since the first time we saw him in volume five. A lot of characters went through a lot, but him especially. Also because he was among the first to have a big character arc (second to Kuro) a long time ago, we get to see him grow a lot, and I feel like Strike is really showing it at this point. Hopefully, we’ll get a bit more of him dealing with his feelings toward his past and toward Licht. Maybe a bit from when he was human too, but maybe I’m asking for too much.

Gee you guys are still there ? Damn. 

Well, see ya <3

[likeshipsonthesea]

mianmian gets to the lan sect lectures, discovers very quickly that every one of her peers has decided to use this time to figure out how quickly they can get into bed with someone of the opposite sex, and decides almost immediately that she has to pick a suitably unattainable guy to have a crush on.

the thing is, mianmian is lanling jin’s head disciple. she is capable, intelligent, and very very gay. the last of these things she isn’t exactly keen on telling people yet for a variety of reasons up to and including jin zixuan will be so awkward and stubbornly supportive about it and she doesn’t know how to deal with that yet

so when her friends giggle over the other young masters and finally turn to mianmian-- who’s trying to memorize at least some of the fifty-thousand rules before their quiz tomorrow--and they ask her, “who do you like, mianmian?” she says the name that she carefully picked out of a handful of options.

“lan-er-gongzi,” she says, without looking up from her textbook, and she assumes that will be the end of it. 

lan wangji is both incredibly attractive and unrelentingly resistant to all attempts to flirt with him. she, like half the other female cultivators, can moon over him (or pretend to moon over him) all they want and nothing will come of it. it’s perfect. she’s a genius. the worst she’ll have to do now is pretend to be infatuated with him when her friends start gossiping. it’s fool proof.

spoiler: it’s not

it’s not, no, because her friends are horrible and immediately start gossiping about it to everyone, and usually mianmian wouldn’t care but then jin zixuan finds out. jin zixuan, whose marriage complex is being brought to center stage with the forced proximity to his bride-to-be. jin zixuan, who for some reason decided he has to live his stolen crush-addled youth vicariously through his only real friend that isn’t related to him. jin zixuan, who for some godforsaken reason takes it upon himself to contrive situations for mianmian and lan wangji to be alone together incessantly.

it unfortunately takes mianmian longer than she would like to figure out what’s happening. she’d give herself a break for it-- she was being responsible and studying, thank you very much-- but she doesn’t have much sympathy for her own stupidity seeing as she’s currently locked in a section of the lan library with the second jade of lan

and suddenly, suddenly she’s just so fucking tired. of studying, yeah, the tests here are brutal and there’s no one to bribe to make sure she doesn’t lose points on stupid things, but also tired of lying to the people she loves and tired of training this hard and being an amazing cultivator only for people to care more about her eventual marriage-- to a man of all things!-- and also, let’s be real here, she’s been in lectures with beautiful capable intelligent women for like months and she’s losing her gay ass mind

and so maybe, possibly, as she’s locked in a library with a clearly confused and annoyed second jade of lan she kind of, momentarily, loses it and rants all of this at his steadily widening eyes

at the end of it, she realizes with no small amount of panic that she’s just confessed not only her attraction to women but the fact that she’s been letting wen qing’s ears of all things distract her from her studies. if anything, she’s sure lan wangji will fault her for inattention

but the second jade of lan, after a drawn-out moment filled only with mianmian’s labored breathing and rising panic, simply says, “i understand.”

mianmian stops. she squints. she tilts her head. she squints some more. lan wangji’s ears go pink and just like that she realizes -- “you’re a cut-sleeve.”

lan wangji’s ears go even pinker. he doesn’t nod, or agree, or outwardly react in any way, but mianmian is a capable, intelligent cultivator, and she’s sure of it.

mianmian sighs with a relief she didn’t know she could feel. “thank the gods.”

lan wangji doesn’t seem to know what to make of this response, or mianmian’s increasingly frequent trips to the library following their conversation, or mianmian’s staunch determination to befriend the guy, but that’s alright. mianmian is old hat at befriending awkward sect heirs by this point.

it’s not like lan wangji expressed any desire for her friendship, but the prospect of not being the only one with absolutely no interest in the straight shenanigans happening at gusu lan summer camp is enough to let mianmian ignore his obvious confusion. lan wangji is a great listener and only sometimes blushes when mianmian waxes poetic about the beautiful women she’s forced to surround herself with every day

“no but you don’t understand,” mianmian insists, alone in the library with lan wangji, “jiang-guniang asked me to help her with a sword form. i put my hands on her waist. i said something idiotic bc she was so pretty and right there and then she laughed. lan wangji. i’m in love.”

“yesterday you were in love with wen-guniang,” lan wangji says as he impassively turns a page in his book. “has this changed?”

“no, i’m in love with both of them. all of them. lan wangji. they’re all so pretty all the time. it’s horrible.”

lan wangji presses his lips into a firmer line, which mianmian’s come to understand means he’s repressing a smile. “i’m sorry to hear it brings luo-guniang such trouble.”

mianmian groans, fairly undignified, but that’s a lost cause with lan wangji at this point anyway. “i swear, if jin zixuan says one more bad thing about her i’m going to punch him and marry her myself.”

lan wangji says, “mn,” which mianmian takes to mean that he supports her in this line of thinking, which she finds both quite sweet and ridiculously funny.

grinning, she teases, “lan-er-gongzi, if i do end up marrying jiang-guniang, will you bear witness to our elopement?”

lan wangji’s lips press again, this time in the way that means he’s repressing a frown. “jiang-guniang’s brothers wouldn’t allow for an elopement,” he says.

mianmian huffs. “as if yunmeng or lanling will deign to host our wedding.”

lan wangji appears to ponder this for a moment before he says, “gusu will host it,” and it’s at that moment that mianmian realizes she’s actually gone and fucking befriended the second jade of lan.

what is her life.

of course, it’s not long after that that she goes to find jin zixuan and explain that she can’t make their weekly sparring match today because she has plans with lan wangji (jiang yanli tenderly brushed some of mianmian’s hair away from her forehead while they were working on sword forms and if mianmian doesn’t tell someone about it she’s literally going to explode) and she’s trying to be as polite as possible only for jin zixuan to scoff and pout (”i don’t pout”) and say, “i never took you for one of those women who throw themselves so wantonly at a man”

it’s only for having been friends with this absolutely horrible communicator for most of her life that she doesn’t immediately punch him in the face. “what did you just say to me,” she demands, but jin zixuan just sets his jaw and looks away, flushing down his neck in the way his mother describes as unbecoming and--

and mianmian suddenly realizes that her ridiculous best friend is jealous of lan wangji. 

(in a friend way, of course, he’s like her brother, the one time his mother implied that he ought not get too close to women in case it jeopardizes his betrothal to jiang yanli, he insisted he didn’t have any female friends repeatedly as his mother delicately danced around outright saying mianmian’s name until finally she broke and jin zixuan was basically like huh?? mianmian doesn’t count?? she made me eat dirt like six times when we were kids)

the sheer ridiculousness of jin zixuan, to set her up with a guy and then get jealous when she spends all her time with him

and fuck her, but she loves her stupid awkward ridiculous sect heir best friend and she doesn’t want him to think she’s gone and left him for someone else (gods know jin zixuan’s loyalty complex rivals his marriage one (on second thought the two might be connected)) and so, after making a few quick decisions, mianmian grabs her stupid best friend by the wrist and pulls him to the library

he protests all the way there, but he’s been letting her drag him wherever she wants since they were five and it isn’t as if he’s going to break the pattern now. she drags him to the library and sits him down across a startled lan wangji and then finally breaks and gushes about jiang-guniang’s fingertips brushing her forehead and doesn’t look at jin zixuan once the whole time

lan wangji, on the other hand, sends jin zixuan frequent glances, as if worried on mianmian’s behalf, which is super sweet and also how the fuck did mianmian get two awkward sect heirs to care about her platonically wtf. she spares a thought for her poor auntie, who would’ve loved to have a sect heir care about her niece in much less platonic ways.

at the end of mianmian’s rant, jin zixuan is blinking quite a lot. “you like women?” he asks. he’s always been a bit slow on the uptake. mianmian nods. “you like jiang-guniang?”

mianmian shrugs. “more or less. she’s just really pretty and i’m dying about it. it’s fine.”

lan wangji says, “mn,” sympathetically and jin zixuan continues to gape.

mianmian winces. “you’re not going to be weird about this, are you?”

jin zixuan shakes his head quickly. “no, no-- of course not, i--you know that i--you’re my best friend, i don’t care--what does it matter to me, who you want to--to touch your hair.”

it’s probably the most awkward sentence he’s said to her in years, but possibly more articulate than she’d been expecting. it makes her tear up regardless and she punches him in the shoulder to hide it, and that’s basically how the three of them start hanging out in the library nearly every day after lecture.

sometimes they go to the sparring ground, bc who’s better sparring practice than the second jade of lan? and sometimes (once or twice) mianmian manages to convince lan wangji to join her and jin zixuan for lunch in caiyi town when they don’t have lecture, but mostly they meet in a secluded part of the library where mianmian can rant about how pretty all the women at lectures are, jin zixuan can turn pink whenever she mentions jiang-guniang, and lan wangji can “mn” and nod sympathetically at all the right parts

and mianmian thinks that’s going to be the end of it, they’re just going to be friends now and everything else will move on as usual, bc by some ridiculous trick of fate lan wangji and jin zixuan seem to like each other. which makes sense in hindsight bc they’re both awkward sect heirs who care about cultivation and people a lot even if they’re not great at showing it 

(and he’d never say it but mianmian thinks jin zixuan’s easy acceptance of her liking women is probably the first time lan wangji’s ever seen someone accept that kind of thing before (maybe, possibly, other than his brother, lan xichen seems really cool, even if he does smile kind of intensely at mianmian whenever he happens upon her hanging out with his little brother.))

so they’re friends, they’re unexpected friends, and sometimes lan wangji even makes jokes in that dry deadpan way of his and sometimes jin zixuan doesn’t completely trip over his own words and manages to act like a normal human being and mianmian gets two idiots to care about and a perfect place to vent her womanly frustrations, and she thinks that’s the end of it and then wei wuxian accosts her after lectures one day

“do you like lan zhan?” he asks accusingly, eyes narrowed to slits. “what am i even asking, of course you like lan zhan, but do you like-like him?”

mianmian thinks sadly to herself that she’s much too into women to be dealing with all these men’s emotional problems. “lan wangji is my friend,” she says, carefully sidestepping wei wuxian, who continues to squint at her suspiciously. really, he’d been amusing when he flirted with her, but this? this is just ridiculous.

“does he know that?” wei wuxian asks. “because if he doesn’t, that’s just leading him on, and it’s really not nice to--”

“lan wangji knows we’re friends,” she says, trying to enunciate to get her point across clearly. “you can ask him, if you don’t believe me.”

wei wuxian squints a moment longer before he turns and flounces off. mianmian thinks this is the end of it until she’s accosted again after dinner with, “he said you were friends!”

for some reason, wei wuxian seems even more troubled by this than earlier. mianmian tries to suppress her eyeroll. “i told you he would?”

“but how,” wei wuxian says, suddenly whining. “i’ve been trying to be his friend for months and he refuses to acknowledge me.”

oh, mianmian realizes with a quickly dawning horror. she and lan wangji are not the only cut-sleeves at cloud recesses this summer. (she has suspicions, of course, but no confirmations on any of the others, but this. wow.)

she also realizes, decides really, that she has enough repressed sect heirs in her life and she cannot deal with wei wuxian’s cut-sleeve crisis or his evidently large attachment to lan wangji right now. she turns decisively and walks the fuck away. not her problem.

the lectures end eventually, of course, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to lanling with a horde of golden robed disciples, freshly deflowered and not all together more learned. it’s what, she thinks grimly, their sect leader would want.

the first few weeks go by and she realizes that she’s missed unloading about her frequent and fast falling-in-loves. jin zixuan just doesn’t sympathize right, bless him, and so mianmian takes to writing letters. she sends two without receiving a reply and just starts to write the third when a letter with the gusu symbol is delivered to her room.

she’s almost expecting to find a single mn written on the page-- she would’ve been delighted with just that, actually, the sheer hilarity of such a thing-- but instead she finds several pages filled with lan wangji’s perfect calligraphy.

it’s more than he’s ever spoken out loud, but it seems that propriety dictated that he return mianmian’s extensive letter with one of his own and he’s done so admirably. he responds to the events mianmian detailed in her letters-- most succinctly summarized as, woman are gorgeous and i’m dying-- and then writes about his own life in cloud recesses. apparently, he went on a little night hunt with wei wuxian and also nie huaisang and jiang cheng were involved? seriously, mianmian misses out on all the fun.

he’s also apparently taken in some rabbits, which mianmian immediately decides she needs to see. lan wangji, sitting prim and proper, with a bunch of rabbits in his lap? amazing. wei wuxian would die on sight, she’s sure of it.

he also ends his letter with a warning about qishan wen that has mianmian frowning. she takes it to jin zixuan who reads the paragraph and frowns. “i’ll talk to my father about it,” he says, which she can tell by his hunched shoulders he doesn’t expect to do much.

“talk to your father’s general too,” she suggests, because that man at least thinks with his head and not his dick.

jin zixuan nods but doesn’t hand back the letter. he skims it instead with a barely concealed surprise at lan wangji’s previously hidden expansive vocabulary. mianmian snorts and grabs the letter back. “you can write to him yourself, you know.”

jin zixuan flushes down his neck. “i know!” he insists and then turns and runs away because he’s a coward. mianmian shakes her head, smiling. what an idiot.

still, another week goes by and a letter arrives from gusu and, when mianmian takes it, assuming it’s for her, she finds it addressed to jin zixuan in lan wangji’s impeccable calligraphy and she grins to herself like an idiot. look at jin zixuan, making friends

(she suddenly understands why lan xichen gave her all those intense smiles during the lan lectures)

they go on in this way, writing letters to lan wangji from lanling. sometimes mianmian steals jin zixuan’s letters before he sends them so she can squeeze in some ranting in the post script without wasting a whole second thing of paper, and lan wangji replies dutifully, more verbose than he ever was in person, and it’s nice okay, like. she and jin zixuan have been best friends since they were kids but neither of them has ever been any good at listening and lan wangji is just so honest and earnest in everything, like they didn’t realize that people outside of lanling were actually not always plotting your downfall??? who woulda thunk

and then of course the wens go and ruin everything. they go to the wen lectures bc jin guangshan doesn’t want to “anger our trading partner” like the guy isn’t obviously going to burn carp tower to the ground the first chance he gets, and mostly mianmian and jin zixuan are just vaguely annoyed and put out about it

then lan wangji shows up with a broken leg and a burned sect and they are ready to murder some dudes

after years of breaking in and out of carp tower she and jin zixuan are old hats at this breaking and entering stuff and they manage to sneak into lan wangji’s guest quarters and tend to his wounds, ignoring all his silent glares and ranting furiously about how they’re going to murder wen chao by making him choke on his own dick (mianmian) and how they’re going to war with the wen sect even if he has to threaten his father with acknowledging all of his bastards as proper siblings in public to do it (jin zixuan)

lan wangji just says “mn” and makes various muted, distressed expressions, but mianmian thinks he’s touched.

“are your brother and uncle alright?” she asks, when she’s set his broken leg and forced pain medication down his throat.

“brother escaped with our sacred texts,” lan wangji says. “uncle is... unwell.”

mianmian knows lan wangji hates touch but the way he says it, with this horrible little frown, emoting more than she’s ever seen him, his barely suppressed anger and grief literally making his hands shake into fists, mianmian can’t help it, she hugs him. “we’ll make them pay,” she swears into his shoulder, ruining the lines of his robes with how she clutches at them. “i promise you.”

jin zixuan awkwardly pats lan wangji’s shoulder, which is a lot for him and mianmian spares a moment to be proud of his growth.

unfortunately, wen chao seems to delight in torturing lan wangji on his injured leg and lan wangji refuses to show weakness, which both impresses mianmian and pisses her the fuck off. she approaches wen qing (and her still gorgeous ears, sigh) and asks her to tend to lan wangji, since she���s like actually a doctor. wen qing does bc she’s beautiful, intelligent, and kind and mianmian spends most of that night sighing deeply as she relates this to a significantly drugged lan wangji

the cave of the xuanwu goes about the same as you’d expect. wei wuxian saving her from getting her face branded off is pretty rad of him, though he could’ve just like knocked the brand away instead of throwing himself in front of it but whatever, you do you boo. when lan wangji gets left behind the two of them don’t even have to wait for jiang cheng to grumble and ask for their help, they’re already on their way to carp tower for an army, thank you very much

when they rescue wei wuxian and lan wangji and lan wangji immediately turns to walk back to cloud recesses on a broken leg mianmian says, “fuck no, that’s not happening, you’re getting medical attention and then someone will fly you back home, okay, wtf wangji, sit down.”

and lan wangji is a stubborn bitch so obvs he’s like no but he’s also severely starved, dehydrated, and injured, so it’s not like he can just shake off mianmian holding him down and this goes on long enough for wei wuxian to wake up and see mianmian touching lan wangji, and something in his poor little brain just like breaks and he demands says, “lan zhan, come back to lotus pier with us.”

his argument, as he explains it, is that lotus pier is closer (it’s not; they’re just as close to carp tower as lotus pier) and that it’s closer to gusu for when lan wangji has to return home (it’s not; same deal) but then jiang cheng starts yelling, possibly in support possibly not mianmian’s not sure, and jin zixuan starts getting awkward, probably about the whole golden army behind him bc he’s a nerd and hates being overdressed at functions (this is basically the same thing), and mianmian looks at lan wangji and she sees--

something. she isn’t sure what exactly, but lan wangji looks at wei wuxian as he argues with his brother and he presses his lips into a thin line in the way that means he wants to smile and mianmian thinks, oh. maybe wei wuxian isn’t completely unrequited in his lan wangji obsession.

growing up in lanling, she knows how to use information to her advantage, so she immediately says, “young masters wei and jiang, what a great idea. lanling’s disciples would be pleased to accompany you and second young master lan to lotus pier to ensure everyone’s safe arrival.”

everyone splutters, indignant, confused, awkward (jiang cheng, wei wuxian, and jin zixuan, respectively) but lan wangji narrows his eyes at mianmian and doesn’t try to convince her to let him walk to gusu again, so she counts it as a win.

sect leader jiang and his wife seem surprised and annoyed, respectively, to be taking in so many guests, but sect leader jiang merely smiles pleasantly and directs them to some guest quarters and mianmian and wei wuxian ask, simultaneously, for doctors to tend to lan wangji and wei wuxian makes a face at her and mianmian sighs to herself that she really is too gay to be in the middle of his thing with lan wangji.

turns out, walking a lot and fighting a cannibalistic turtle on a broken leg doesn’t do wonders for healing. lan wangji is also the worst patient ever, he keeps trying to sneak out and get up even though word came from his brother that he’s safe and alright and that cloud recesses is starting to rebuild after qinghe nie and lanling jin came to its aid and pushed out the wen

but with the combined efforts of mianmian, jin zixuan, and wei wuxian (and even jiang yanli at one point, bc who could say no to her soup??) they manage to get lan wangji to just rest for a fucking second, really which results in the jin disciples and lan wangji staying in lotus pier for longer than anyone could’ve expected

mianmian spends most of her time (when she isn’t forcing lan wangji to just fucking stay in bed) working with the jiang disciples, practicing archery, sword forms, and mooning after all the beautiful women here.

(”lan wangji, i know she’s scary, but have you seen madam yu? she could whip me with zidian and i’d thank her” “luo-guniang, please don’t ask madam yu to whip you” OR “lan wangji, i’m almost positive madam yu’s maids are a thing, do you think they’d let me join them just like once” “luo-guniang, could you please pass me my sword?” “why” “i’d like to put myself out of this misery” OR “she made me soup. lan wangji. lan wangji, i know you’re not sleeping, wake up, you have to listen to me, this soup”)

they end up staying so long that when wang lingjiao shows up threatening a child about a kite while sect leader jiang is away, she has a lot more to deal with than madam yu. since none of this had been a “sanctioned visit” no one actually knew that there was nearly an entire troop of jin disciples staying at lotus pier, so when the wens attack they are sorely unprepared for what they’re going to face.

(and ofc lan wangji breaks out of bed heroically and keeps madam yu from whipping wei wuxian, which means they aren’t down one of their most powerful fighters and mianmian has to suffer through the moon eyes they’re making at one another in the middle of a battle no less, she knew wei wuxian had no shame but she’d been hoping lan wangji would have some)

after the wen attack (and defeat) on lotus pier and the jin’s inarguable part in it, the war starts in earnest. lan wangji, after his long rest, heals fine and goes back to gusu to help rebuild his sect and plan for war, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to carp tower to plan as well, ignoring jin guangshan and focusing instead on his general to ensure lanling supplies necessary aid in the war effort

and war is always shitty, of course, and mianmian hates watching her sect family die on the battlefield, hates waiting for updates after every battle to see who’s still alive, hates the politics and jin guangshan trying to wheedle his way out of fighting when there’s fucking lives on the line

(and she could never know, how much easier it is, with yunmeng jiang at its full strength, with one of the brightest minds of their generation there to plot and help, with two of the best fighters not out searching for someone and instead focused on the front)

they reach nightless city after months of fighting and mianmian is ready to just fucking stab wen ruohan herself when they’re suddenly trapped. blocked in on all sides by puppets, their fallen soldiers rising again to turn on them, and it--it looks like they’re gonna die.

“this sucks,” she says to lan wangji, stifling her fear and choking it down. “i never even got to kiss a girl.”

lan wangji just says “mn.”

jin zixuan, beside them, says, “i was an idiot about jiang-guniang.”

lan wangji just says, “mn.”

then wei wuxian pulls out a fucking flute and a-- floating piece of metal?  the army of puppets and corpses stops advancing, held in place by-- music, apparently? and wen ruohan emerges from his lair, black energy falling off him in waves, wei wuxian the idiot flies forward to meet him, gets wen ruohan’s hand around his throat for his trouble.

lan wangji yells, “wei ying!” and mianmian thinks, really not fair that lan wangji is gonna get a boyfriend before i get a girlfriend

and then wen ruohan gets stabbed by jin zixuan’s half brother of all people. wen ruohan, along with his puppets and wei wuxian, fall to the ground. lan wangji rushes forward to catch wei wuxian, mianmian runs after him, finds herself in company with jin zixuan and jiang cheng. when they get there, wei wuxian is barely conscious but he’s-- he’s fucking grinning up at lan wangji from the cradle of lan wangji’s arms

“lan zhan,” he says, “you caught me.”

lan wangji nods, says, “mn,” which is basically his equivalent of i’ll always catch you, wei ying.

“really,” mianmian says aloud, “it’s so unfair.”

the aftermath of the war is more annoying than the war itself, what with all the politics and in-fighting and jin guangshan trying to be the biggest dick there ever was. jin guangshan tries to name himself chief cultivator in wen ruohan’s stead but nie mingjue suggests jiang fengmian instead and the lan sect backs him. jin guangshan tries to demonize the wens but at wei wuxian’s loud rebuttal and sect leader jiang’s backing (which is then backed by both gusu lan and qinghe nie) he’s once again shouted down. and then jin guangshan tries to propose to jiang-guniang for his son and the poor woman just seems so awkward and her father doesn’t seem to know what to say and--

mianmian elbows jin zixuan whose eyes widen ridiculously but, after another, harder hit, he suddenly stands. all eyes go to him, which mianmian knows he hates, but he bows to his father, then jiang yanli, and says, “jiang-guniang, forgive my father’s impertinence. this is not the time or place to be making such an offer, but he--” jin zixuan winces visibly. “--he knows of my feelings and wishes to make his foolish son happy. please, do not feel the need to respond.”

then he promptly sits down, flushing down to his neck, and mianmian shares a disbelieving glance with lan wangji from across the horrible nightless city palace room.

she’d really only meant for him to suggest jiang yanli answer privately, at a later time, but wow, jin zixuan really went for it. also no way jin guangshan knows his son has fallen in love with jiang yanli, so nice save face there. maybe he has been paying attention in all of their etiquette and political espionage classes.

jiang yanli flushes way prettier than jin zixuan and nods politely, stands and bows and thanks the jin clan for being considerate in this time of turmoil, perhaps they can discuss this matter at a later date (jin zixuan looks like he nearly faints at this, and mianmian feels vindicated in all her forlorn ranting. overreacting her ass)

when everything has been settled, wen qing has been appointed the new sect leader of qishan wen with promises to return land to those who lost it and pay reparations to the hurt civilians, as well as have the yin iron destroyed for good. during the final ceremony where all the sects have tea and pledge to be loyal to one another (until the next great war, of course) mianmian leans close to lan wangji and sighs, “her ears look even lovelier with her hair tied back by her new sect leader hairpiece.”

lan wangji says “mn” because he’s a cut sleeve in love with wei wuxian and has nothing even closely resembling taste.

mianmian, on her own, decides to make them both happy. before the jin clan departs from nightless city, she goes up to wei wuxian and asks for a moment of his time. wei wuxian seems confused but follows and, once they’re alone, he says, “mianmian, are you about to get me into bed, because i must tell you that i am a respectable young cultivator and you’ll need to marry me before--”

mianmian gives him her best unimpressed look (she’s had much practice with it, thank you jin zixuan) and cuts him off with, “i like women.” 

wei wuxian’s eyes go wide. “but you and lan zhan--”

she cuts him off again before he can say something so stupid she has to stop talking to him to refrain from breaking all laws of propriety. “look,” she says, “you’re friends with wen qing. now that she’s sect leader, your brother can’t go after her. i, on the other hand, very much can. if you promise to figure out a way for me and her to get close, i’ll tell you a secret you’ll like very much.”

wei wuxian seems hesitant for all of half a second before he breaks. “tell me.”

“do you promise?”

wei wuxian raises three fingers. “promise.”

“on your sister’s life?”

begrudgingly, wei wuxian nods.

“on her soup?”

“just get on with it!”

mianmian smirks, pushes onto her tiptoes, and whispers the secret into wei wuxian’s ear. with that, she returns to the pavilion where all the sects mingle as they wait to depart, wei wuxian trailing behind her in a daze, his mouth hanging open.

lan wangji, who had been watching since mianmian asked wei wuxian for a moment to talk, frowns nearly imperceptibly. mianmian grins at him and his frown grows.

ah, whatever. she walks over to him, unbothered by the quickly growing alarm in his eyes. once next to him, she turns around to see wei wuxian staring unabashedly. her smile only widens.

“you’re going to thank me for this,” she says.

wei wuxian shakes himself, his eyes focusing, and immediately starts walking towards them.

lan wangji, voice flat but wavering, asks, “luo-guniang, what did you do?”

mianmian laughs, says, “i get to give a speech at your wedding,” and walks away just as wei wuxian reaches them.

(she does, actually, give a speech at their wedding. she may or may not be drunk during it, jin zixuan gets embarrassed for her, and she starts tearing up and has to hide it in the shoulder of her wife’s lovely well-tailored robes. it’s alright, though, wen qing doesn’t mind)

EDIT: now on AO3 with a real fic version from lwj’s pov!