#anyway the ending made me lose my mind like wtf happened

[golden-moony]

king of my heart | pt. 4

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, landonorris, and 74,922 others!

yourusername life lately 💌

user1 swiftie, romcom lover and f1 fan... she's really one of us🩷

user2 and that's why she's the girlies' bestie

user3 QUEEN WE MISSED U SO MUCH

user4 as pretty as always 😍

user5 i'm probably reaching here but posting THAT movie feels like a statement's being made 👀

user6 right?? after all the drama she goes and posts that movie title and i just don't know how to feel user7 user6 thank god she just posted the title cause if she'd posted the "you can't lose something you never had" line, i would've lost my mind 😥 user8 or maybe yn just likes the movie??? user9 user8 THIS!! people act like there's a secret meaning to everything and i'm tired of that crap

user10 i'm a simple girl: i see yn and taylor swift in the same post, i like

user11 so what happened? were you starting to lose relevance and decided to come back?😂😂

user12 she needs to pay the bills somehow 😂 user13 girlie came back to keep playing the victim lol user14 y'all need to get a life asap.

user15 YOU DROP THIS QUEEN 👑

carmenmmundt gorgeous woman 😍

yourusername you are💗 user16 OMG MY FAV GIRLS INTERACTING user17 carmen please please please stay away from this problematic woman😕

user18 soooo are we gonna talk about lando liking the post or what

user19 girl i can't do this again user20 can't believe lando is back again with this bitch😒 user21 user20 wtf??? it's just a like omfg chill.

user22 yn please don't leave us again 🥺

📞 calling Pato

[yn; normal] [pato; cursive]

"Hi-"

"I'm not gonna lie, you are either very brave or very stupid for calling me right after the videos of your little date with Lando are going viral. Did you get tired of hiding your relationship?"

"...Guess I deserve that."

"[sights] What do you want, yn?"

"I swear I won't take up much of your time. I just want to talk... well, apologize, actually. I'd prefer to do it face to face rather than over the phone but I know that right now I'm probably the last person you wanna see. At least this way, if you don't wanna keep listening to me, you can just end the call."

"Well, I'm very tempted to end the call right now."

"Pato, I-"

"However, I'm also very curious about what you have to say."

"So...?"

"So I'll give you a chance to talk. But I promise you yn, if I hear any lame excuses, I will hang up and block you. Are we clear?"

"Hundred percent clear."

"Then talk."

"Well... first of all, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I promise it was never my intention to hurt you, even if I ended up doing it anyway. I should've told you from the beginning the kind of relationship I had with Lando and I should've been honest with you, especially when my feelings towards you changed to something deeper. I kno-"

"Hold on. What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"What did you just say?"

"That I'm sorry I lied to yo-"

"No, no. The part about your feelings."

"Oh. Well... you heard me. And I don't know why you sound so surprised. I mean, what happened between me and Lando in Spain was a stupid and terrible decision I made, and I should've known better cause my feelings for you were getting stronger."

"Then why did you sleep with him?"

"I... [sights]. I've thought about it a lot in the last few weeks, you know? I was trying to put all the blame on Lando when in the end I was the one who took the initiative. We were just going to talk to end that situationship once and for all, and then I kissed him. And instead of stopping him when he was going for more, I just let it happen cause in my head it was a form of goodbye. Clearly I ended up feeling guilty but the damage was done. And when I could've made things right by telling you the truth about what happened, I didn't. I was embarrassed, but mostly scared of losing the best man I've ever known... but that ended up happening anyway, and I'm to blame for that."

"..."

"Pato?"

"Did you love him?"

"No. We started out as friends and one day I realized I was attracted to him, one night one thing led to another and we became friends with benefits ever since. He didn't want a relationship at that time and neither did I. But in the last few months that changed for me. I wanted a partner, a committed relationship. Lando wasn't that and I was tired of being just a "casual thing". So no. I liked him, but I never loved him."

"So what was that date night about?"

"Just us being adults and having a real and necessary conversation. I had things to apologize for and so did he. I think Lando and I finally found common ground and are ready to move forward... not with each other, just to be clear. Just friends and nothing else."

"For real this time?"

"For real this time. My priorities and my heart are elsewhere."

"Oh, really? Where?"

"I could tell you or I could show you. To be honest, and if you let me, I'd rather show you. You know, actions speak louder than words."

"Yeah, I've heard that. You have any idea?"

"It depends. What are you doing on Friday?"

pacers

liked by elbaoward, tyresehaliburton, arrowmclaren, and 43,942 others!

pacers We had some motorsport representation in the house tonight!

user1 ynpato being hard launched (again?) by the pacers was not on my bingo card but i appreciate it🫶

user2 this is so random and i love it!! user3 the pacers earned my respect after this 🫡 user4 pacers stonks after this hard launch📈📈📈

user5 YNPATO BASKETBALL DATE? WE WON FR

user6 this is like straight out of a movie 😻 user7 THEY'RE SO ROMCOM CODED

user8 NOOO PATO NOT HER AGAIN 😫😫

user9 right? my week has been ruined. user10 keep cryin' haters 😘

indycar Hi yn and pato!! 👋

user11 basket date a few days after her post? she's an icon AND the mastermind fr 💅

user12 context?? user13 user12 her last ig post included a pic of "how to lose a guy in 10 days" and some people were speculating it could mean something, now yn goes with pato to a basketball game just like in the movie 😂 user14 SHE MANIFESTED IT AS THE QUEEN SHE IS🙌

user15 real question is: yourusername did Pato get you a soda?

patriciooward of course i did! 🙄 yourusername not only that but he also got his head in the game😏🏀 user16 I'M LIVING FOR THIS REFERENCES

user17 they make such a beautiful couple omg🥹

user18 are y'all forgetting she was in a date with lando just a few days ago????

user19 she belongs to the streets fr user20 the day y'all understand yn can be friends with lando or anyone is when you'll finally grow up.

user21 not related but she always slays with her outfits🔥

user22 fashion icon for real 🤩 user23 i want her wardrobe so bad😩

user24 YNPATO CONFIRMED 🚀🚀🚀

user25 i just wanna know if pato can fight 🤺

user26 i wanna be her so badly 😩

user27 same girl, same

yourusername posted to their story!

yourusername

liked by arrowmclaren, oscarpiastri, frosenqvist, and 79,889 others!

yourusername And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for. King of my heart, body and soul 🧡

user1 MOM AND DAD ARE THRIVING 😍

user2 and we love to see it! user3 this is their world and we're just living in it

user4 yn is stronger than me cause if Pato looked at me like in the second pic... 😳😳

user5 IKR??? I'M DEAD user6 i was not ready for that, i'm currently on the floor user7 i meaaaan she's dating him, she already won in life

user8 THE CAPTION???? omg they're so cute🥹

user9 YNPATO AND TAYLOR GANG WE WON

user10 relationship goals for real ❤️‍🔥

user11 tired of being a spectator, I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE😭

landonorris if you three weren't that cute i'd try to steal Norbi from you

patriciooward back off, Norris 🤺 landonorris watch out, O'Ward 🤺 yourusername oh hell no mclaren arrowmclaren may i have permission to ground these kids? mclaren you may proceed 😉 patriciooward WHAT landonorris THE BETRAYAL user12 i used to pray for interactions like these 😭😭 user13 user12 we've come so far 😭 user14 WAAAAR IS OOOOVER

user15 yn's living her best life and i'm so happy for her 🤧

elbaoward I don't appreciate being left out of the photo, but I love you lovebirds anyway 💘

yourusername imma post a dump of just beautiful pics of you😘 love u elbaoward i'll be waiting then ☺️ patriciooward i also want a photo dump🥺 yourusername no 😚 user16 i want to belong to this family so bad, do you need a nanny for Norbi or anything?

user17 atp I'm just waiting for the engagement announcement

user18 same but i don't think i'll survive it user19 CAN U IMAGINE? OMG

user20 tag yourself i'm Norbi in the last pic

patriciooward te amo, preciosa ❤️

yourusername love u more, handsome 🥰 user21 AND I LOVE YOU BOTH

taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @evie-119 @evans-dejong @minkyungseokie @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @eiaaasamantha @ijustgomessitupx @honethatty12 @daemyratwst @f1fan65 @littlexscarletxwitch @sheslikeacurse @charlottejpg @lichterfee @callsignwidow @phantomxoxo @stinkyjax @rubywingsracing @willowpains @urfavsgf @biitch-with-wifi @lightdragonrayne @illicitverstappen @herebereblogs @tvdtw4ever @nataliambc @norwayxo

author's note: AND THAT'S A WRAP! Thank you so much for giving this story a chance💖 To my Lando girlies, don't be mad! He was a jerk in this story but I'll post another one where he gets the love he actually deserves. And to my Pato girlies, stay tuned! I plan to post more stories with him cause it's what our lovely man deserves. And if you want me to write about some other driver, feel free to send me a request! I'll see what I can do🧡 See y'all soon!

[wannaeatramyeon]

We got baby/childhood panel of Daniel, Jake, Zack, Johan, and recently Gun.

I can't stop think on how cute and chubby baby Gun is lol

Lookism 520 spoiler!

Lol. This feels very duality of man. Baby Gun coming out with UI made me lol.

Ok, gather round for Ramyeon's retelling of chapter 520.

So PTJ, with his fondness for SAD backstories cooked up one for Gun. And while it's not terrible and I didn't get food poisoning, it's tasting a bit bland because everyone is getting a SAD backstory and it's getting old y'know?

Onto the chapter-

Everyone is in love with Daddy Yamazaki, and for some reason that is bad and all the ladies chop their pinkies off to idk repent for their sins or something but even though the relationship appears to be consensual because he's had sex consensually with them all, it's still the women's fault.

In the end, the great big kind man that Daddy Yamazaki is lets them all carry his kids. Thank the heavens.

Daddy Yamazaki has Smaller Bro Yamazaki who also has a son btw (Haruto) - this is sort of important but it's hard to really feel much for them cos the son character (Haruto) has just been introduced in this chapter and will be likely killed off soon.

Anyway, I digress.

All the babies born are unimpressive so far. And you may think wtf how are babies unimpressive. Babies are just babies. Well, that's because Gun comes whooshing out the (Korean) womb with UI. Bro has built in UI from the start, kinda an impossible standard to reach so fine I get why the other babies are unimpressive.

Although if all the babies are unimpressive apart from Gun, the common denominator here is Daddy Yamazaki so maybe everyone should point the finger at him instead. Hmmm.

The chapter fast forwards to show Gun is a prodigy, he masters his training. He's only five and a kid, so he plays around with his friend but gets slapped by his mother for being a kid because it's not becoming of a future gang leader.

So even though he's FIVE, he still gets told to 'act accordingly' lol.

I think there's another timeskip, or PTJ really has lost the plot and forgotten what five year olds look like (tbh he has forgotten what 'elementary school' aged kids look like too) and Gun, genius that he is and following his mother's words takes down all the gangs in ONE DAY. WHEW.

But, PTJ is trying to desperately show it's nurture not nature. Gun wanted normal things but has been moulded to become a monster.

Gun's mother praises him for his violence and his deeds, and Gun wonders 'Huh, if mother dearest loves when I fight, and I must fight to be loved, what happens if I'm violent towards her?'. He punches her and gets praised for it.

Please see above point.

And another fast forward in time (presumably) to Gun trying to squish butterflies like the maniac he is.

Anyway, remember Smaller Bro Yamazaki's kid, Haruto, that was mentioned? Well he's the only one throughout that looked at Gun as if he was normal and told Gun he was free to do as he wants. He doesn't have to fight. Or have to be a leader if he doesn't wanna.

And sweet lil Gun doesn't really wanna, so he makes up his mind and tells Smaller Bro Yamazaki.

Smaller Bro Yamazaki loses his shit and is all who the fuck told you this nonsense. Gun snitches on Haruto, and this snitch doesn't get stitches and instead Haruto does when Smaller Bro Yamazaki tells Gun to kill Haruto. His own father tells Gun to kill HIS kid!

Dun dun dun CLIFFHANGER!

Overall very sad, very unfortunate. But please see my first point about PTJ's cooking.

I'm assuming in the coming chapters Haruto gets killed off. I would be super surprised if he doesn't because Gun, despite me being delusional and thinking he's just a sweet lil blorbo, is something of a murderous psychopath. It's more fitting of his character if he just kills off Haruto even if he has a moment of hesitation or any regrets.

Hope that helps!

[qqueenofhades]

what’s rook and rose, do i need to read it

kristen likes book

Kristen. Kristen I am disappoint. How have you possibly missed ALL THE SCREAMING I have done about this before??? Shame. SHAME.

Anyway, this is book one of Rook and Rose:

The other two are The Liar's Knot (book 2) and Labyrinth's Heart (book 3). I waited very impatiently for Labyrinth's Heart (it came out last August) and then descended into a fit of unhinged screaming that had SO many of my followers go "okay I'll read it" and then "oh no." It is an epic fantasy trilogy filled with so many things I love:

Fat Ass Books (each one is 600+ pages);

An incredible and well-built world that's basically Magical Venice (the authors are both anthropologists);

A unique and interesting magic system;

Excellent writing;

Complex political and social intrigue;

GARBAGE DISASTER BISEXUAL MEN (DEROSSI VARGO MY MOST BELOVED) WHO ARE APPROPRIATELY GAGA OVER THEIR TOUGH BADASS LADIES;

Sass!

Costumed vigilante anti-imperial superheroes!

An OT3 which made me lose my ever living mind in steadily less coherent increments, especially during book 3!

The occasional Absolutely Mad Lad plot development that left me wondering wtf had just happened but also enjoying it;

AND SO MUCH MORE!

The end result of all this screaming, apparently, was that unbeknownst to me until this very morning, when they reblogged something from me, I went WAIT A WHOLE ASS SECOND, and then went WAIT WHAT, is that one of the co-authors of the trilogy follows me here on ye olde Tumblr. To which I say: OH NO and also, I REGRET NOTHING.

So yes. Read it. Readdddddd ittttttt. The end.

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 25 ramble

one week into senior year and i already want to kill myself ??? not looking too good for me

anyway it's my favorite day because it's also the day of the umbrella academy season 4 and i'm gonna miss it so much i might cry

magnus time!!!

why are they making fun of alice for being worried about the deadly things stalking them. i am worried too.

I WILL START HUMPING YOUR LEG LMAO???

i love that things feel back to normal but i also don't because this means horrible things are going to alter them forever

i'm really worried about how gross this statement is going to be i saw things in the vague tag

also i was genuinely going to eat during this episode but i'm just gonna do it after, post school snack can be delayed for the greater good (my stomach)

kieran what happened to you..

there are so many red flags even trying to GET to this place oh my god

maggot mention. this will be horrific.

oh i get it. it's not a grill to feed hungry men. it's grilling hungry men. welcome back cannibalistic themes

the hunger is compelling them :scream emoji:

has anyone seen dead boy detectives?? episode 7 when edwin and charles walk through the gluttony level of hell (briefly) is what this reminds me of. i don't like it. i hated that scene.

wwwwwhat the not-noodles did wwhhhat

THERE'S A BANDAGE ON MY FINGER OH FUCK OFF

this made my day worse this is making my day worse somehow oh my god oh my god i need this to be over. this is my new mag18. i think i have issues with food horror.

POLEASE SKIP THE DETAILS OF DESSERT PLEASE I'M ALLERGIC TO DAIRY I DON'T NEED THIS PLEASE

shoutout kieran they actually seem really strong for this i guess????? go off. i wish you were vaguer with your writing.

oh. oh... ooooh.... cccan you not...

ALICE WTF DO U MEAN BY THAT ????? LMMAOOO?????

COLIN WTF? COLIN HEY? WELCOME BACK COLIN? WWWHAHTHHHHHH WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WAHAT

I KNEW IT? I THINK I CALLED THIS? I THINK I CALLED THIS? COLIN BABE. GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE I THINK?

HEYYYYY ARE NORRIS AND CHESTER OKAY. ARE THEY OKAY. DO THEY LIVE IN THE SERVERS. COLIN ? COLIN ? I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU COLIN

WHHHAT WHAT HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT HOOLY HSIT WHAT I JUMPED I JUMPED I'M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

hi lena babygirl. she needs to file so much paperwork i'm sure. oh my god he got arrested :(

sam bodytackled colin for alice? that's kinda cute sam you're back on my good side. polyoiar back on

well the server is fine. OKAY SAM WAIT YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING BABE GO OFF KING I'M SORRY FOR PUBLICALLY SHITTING ON YOU A LITTLE BIT

i wonder who the minister is? maybe next episode?

poor celia :( and i don't like that they're gonna hire someone new this feels ominous

someone help lena she did not want this

HAHAH I CALLED IT THE PAPERWORK

oh celia honey where did you go?? where did you end up??

poor celia :( also what the fuck guys

i will no longer be eating as it turns out. i did not like that one

[pillarsalt]

My personal approach for situations like yours with your friend is to act very confused and unaware. Like acting shocked at his name, and then continuing to act super confused and horrified but in a way that makes you seem just out of the loop. That being said, that's kind of non confrontational, and I really respect you for having the difficult conversation.

Oh yes I've used the feigned ignorance technique before, especially with nonbinary women friends (and now I've just realized that over the years I've had more female friends who started to pretend they're not women than ones who haven't, that's fucking depressing lol.) Sometimes with the more empathetic individuals, they will genuinely consider what you're asking and you can actually see the wheels turning (I remember this happening with a college friend NB woman, someone else made a comparison between men identifying as women and rachel dolezal, she said "that seems wrong to me but... I can't really say why.") Unfortunately, trans activism has instilled an easy way to shed any doubt that creeps into the minds of its devotees: you can't think that because it's internalized transphobia, it's TERF rhetoric, that thought is bad and you need to give yourself 100 lashes and listen to transwomen instead. So it's very difficult to get someone who fully buys into this ideology to honestly and critically reflect on it. It's not impossible, but it's very difficult.

We'll see, I'm definitely going to question the name first and foremost, establish that I think it's weird as fuck if he deliberately wants everyone who learns his name to immediately associate him with blowjobs. That honestly gives me the most apprehension because I've never seen or heard him say anything porn-brained, and it makes me wonder how well I really know the kind of person he is, or how much the usual internet cesspools have melted his brain. But I want to give him the benefit of the doubt at least until I can ask him wtf he's thinking.

The book I'm halfway through has put the brakes on my guns a-blazin plan to say my piece all at once though. It's tough because I have the feeling I might only have one chance to relay my position, but just simply delivering a message is not an effective way to have someone hear and seriously consider your point of view. It may have to be more long-term and subtle, not pretending to be ignorant but asking questions that he'll have to really self-reflect on to answer honestly.

I'm hoping that I've proven myself to be someone who cares about her friends and wants the best for everyone, and that he'll see I'm not trying to attack him. If in the end we can say "we have a fundamental ideological disagreement but won't let it come between our camaraderie", that would be actually ideal to me. His nonbinary longterm girlfriend is a STAUNCH genderist though, so the diplomatic effort may all be for naught. I know you are all probably wondering why I'm so invested in this man; besides the fact he's my friend, he is the same age as and reminds me so much of my little brother, and I have this protective instinct about him. About all my friends really. Man it will really suck to lose them. This probably sounds dramatic but I've been thinking about doing my own private goodbye tour with each of them individually, like one last nice peaceful hangout sesh each before everything blows up.

Anyway I need to stop pacing in circles about this for now. Thanks for the nice ask anon <3

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

part 2 of this

anyways, that’s that. things are fine, people are talked down of their motives, life is going back to normal. THEN OBITO SHOWS UP and it’s nothing but emotional turmoil between Kakashi and that orange masked moron. don’t even get me started on why Obito is doing all this evil stuff in the first place.

wtf do you mean Orbit, that thirty year old, buff, scarred, dopey, traumatized, texas two-steppin man is trying to ruin the world because his crush got gut punched to death when they were both FOURTEEN?

like babe, there’s more important things to worry about besides Rin and killing Kakashi. how are you gonna get crushed by a rock as a teen and instead of staying dead like a normal person you get revived, patched up with tar by your shady uncle, and go on a vengeful rampage for like 15 years. don’t piss me off.

so now it’s Orbit vs. Cashew which is more of a mass emotional hysteria between those two frenemies if anything. then, it’s Fishroll, Pink Doctor, Sigh, Yams, and the entire village vs. The Bad Girls Club.

when Naruto fights these troglodytes you’d think it would be a typical battle of one wins one loses but OF COURSE ITS NOT ITS NEVER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCE.

Naruto, the same kid who can control some of the most powerful ninjutsu, the dude who is besties with the fox demon in his mind, the orphan who had every right to become the villain, wins his fights not with bloodshed but by TALKING? no, don’t look at me. for practical reasons, i do not exist as this moment.

Naruto and company are all out there kicking ass and winning because why wouldn’t they. wanna know who’s not winning? Weasel because Sasuke found him and merked his blind self. yeah, Itachi let Sasuke kill him. wtf, who wrote that in? someone explain family therapy to these two before i call the police.

so when the Bad Girls Club are no longer a club aka hella hella dead or gone and that weird emotional thunderclap between Kakashi and Obito is done you’d think that’s a wrap. you’d think that’s it because everyone got what they wanted. well you’re wrong, sorry love.

because Naruto is STILL SNIFFING OUT SASUKE LIKE A BLOODHOUND WHOS ON THE PROWL.

i wanna point out that throughout the entire series Sasuke has made it clear he doesn’t want friends and Naruto basically said “well we’re married so to bad” and cuz of this whenever he did run into Sasuke it was always a fight. the constant back and forth between these two of betting on losing dogs, yin and yang, self-destruction, self-realization, and strength gain leads you to think Naruto will kill Sasuke because he couldn’t save Sasuke from himself.

that doesn’t happen, of course it doesn’t. that’s normal circumstance and we don’t do that here. have you been listening? don’t get me started fam I’ll punch walls.

Sasuke, the same dude who’s been against any form of emotional connection since day zero, suddenly faces the guy who’s been standing up for him despite all the destruction and death. what’s Sasuke do? admits he’s always lowkey cared for Naruto and the others. im leaving the function, i slipped on my own tears on the way out.

my Jonas brother in Christ, what? Sasuke, babe, get out of my house and be so serious.

i may not have a lot of muscle but i have unbridled female rage, a lot of questions, and a broken flat iron to help me find the god damn answers.

so yeah, he says “teehee oops”, helps rid of the remaining baddies, him and Naruto get matching missing limbs, and all is mostly forgiven.

what do you have left at the end of all this bullshit? traumatized kids who grow up, become something, get married, some have kids, and we never actually got the boyfriends we deserve. Sasuke is still trying to be Jesus of Suburbia, Naruto has a son who’s name sounds like Burrito.

i can not make this shit up, this series goes every direction yet also stays in a circle. if I showed any of the episodes to a victorian child or a modern day old person their heads would explode and it’d feel like chernobyl all over again.

what lessons did we learn by the end of the anime. one, don’t try to destroy the world when your crush dies in your teens. two, mind your business. three, seek family therapy before attempting murder. four, being gay is great and helping the homies is greater. and five, don’t get me started.

yall ever love an anime and/or show so much it becomes irritating? cuz i do.

anyways, it’s a great anime. good animation, relatable characters, amazing development of the world and people in it. i recommend it to everyone and yes it’s weird but we will ignore that. if you want weirder, watch One Piece.

thank you for coming to my yap session.

(again, unedited. sorry for mistakes, i might fix them later)

[iminyournotis]

I was thinking, "I don't even have any friends to be honest with, or tell my shit to, because everybody seems to have some kind of stake in my personal business," but then I remembered TUMBLR EXISTEDDD, so here I am.

1. Ended up snooping on my NINETEEN year old coworker last night because he skipped out on BK with me after work, and I got UNREASONABLY possessive, noticing that he was talking to the new girl at work, and I thought no WAY he's fucking her... She just started. (And he made a WHOOOLE thing to me abt how he doesn't want to hook up-- he just wants to find someone he loves and 'make love'. ((I was all, 'You're completely valid.' and then look at the camera like I'm in The Office then do the finger loop crazy sign at my head's temple, crossing my eyes. LOL.))) So I pulled back up after I finished getting BK alone because I was salty as hell and overly curious, and they were still there an hour and ten after close... I honestly scared them and embarrassed myself and I tore off.

2. Went to the gas station beforehand, because I had started smoking cigarettes again like a day or two ago, because I've been stressed about having Seb cock block his brother from me (and potentially for me. It's complicated.) and it lowkey feels like Caleb ALLLL over again, and it's making me lose my mind, so I'm back to stressedly chuffing.

Went to buy a pack, and this dude hollered in the gas station. I hollered back.

We were talking, I give him my phone number, I told him I'm willing to hook up, he's like 'alright, cool... Maybe pick me up later cause I need a whip,' I'm like, 'Okay.' Cue Burger King and checking where I shouldn't.

3. Go back to my parents' house and dude texts me asking if I was trying to link up... It's late, I tell him yeah anyway. I have work at 8:30, and it's already 11 or midnight by the time we're messaging each other. I end up pulling up to this bar I've never been to around midnight, and I end up taking him and his friend to get blazed out in a parking lot somewhere. Dude I was gonna hook up with doesn't smoke za, but his friend does. I get high and immediately get scared, because now I'm OVI, and I have two young Black men in my vehicle with me, and I get scared that some awful shit was fixing to happen, so I go, 'I'M GETTING YOU BOTH HOME SAFELY. I'm not pulling out until our seat belts are fastened, etc.' Went full mom mode. (Also, at this point, the young man I was with was 22, and his friend was 21. They thought I was younger than even them, which was hilarious. So another predatory woman moment for Mama.)

Drop 21 off. Go to drop 22 off next, but he takes me to this outfield out the way... We park, talk some; he hits it and as he's getting out of the backseat, I go, "Wait, did you finish?" He very non-chalantly said "Yeah," as he's putting his pants back on. I go, "... Did you cum inside me?" He responds pretty deadpan "Yeah." I'M LIKE "WHAT? Did you even plan on telling me???" He goes, "I mean, yeah." I was stunned. He's like, "I mean, you can take a Plan B if you don't feel safe." NFJSJFHJDN I was losing my mind. NOT the fucking point. He's like "Are you mad at me?" I'm like, "TO be honest, yeah."

I drive him back home, he forgets something in my car, I pull back around, he's tryna get me to stay at his mom's house with him for the night (which he pays rent at), I say no. I drive off. He goes, 'Actually, I forgot my hat, too.' I was like 10 minutes down the road and closer to home by the time I saw this message, so I'm like 'Man, I'm keeping it now. Sorry.' He's like, 'alright it's fine. lol.'

End scene. Oh, actually not, because by the time I get back into my city/town, it's like 3:30 AM. I didn't even wash my clothes, I still needed to shower, I haven't really been eating for the last week, so I thought, 'Fuck it. I'm calling off.'

Haven't called off a single time since starting, even through this lowkey nasty cold I had a few weeks ago. So my manager, who I'm WAY too involved with, was like 'wtf?? You're just not coming in?' I'm like yeah. She's like "What's your reason." All investigative. I'm like "Not been eating well. It's for my health." She goes, "Get well." I'm such a fucking loser.

So then I woke up like an hour ago at three PM, and here I am. ❤️ What the fuck is going on with my life, though.

[julysn]

fanfic ideas

(i would totally write these if i felt motivated. but i don’t. so now u have to listen to me.)

fandoms i had in mind: south park, unwind dystology, tcoaal. but these can be used for any fandom.

a/n: HI HELLO i would like to see these happen. so im dumping it on YOU. you’re welcome. most are x reader focused bc i have wrote those all my life, but u can switch these up idgaf

writers i see u sprinting at me from a mile away. it’s okay. slow down bookie. it’s okay i’m here.

ALSO IF YOU USE THESE GIVE CREDIT FOR INSPO 🙏 just put my user somewhere visible on the masterlist/notes or tag me 😉 it’s not that hard pookie

# south park ──

and yes u can use these ideas for any other piece of media. just give credit i am BEGGING 😭🙏🙏

— … unwind au. HELLO DO WE SEE THE VISION WTF?? cmon guys. stan and kyle being connor and hayden WTF DO U GUYS SEE IT wjat. kyle as connor definitely they’re pretty similar imo

— fingerbang au where it has four separate endings for the main four. but y/n is a stylist/manager/makeup artist (if u need it.. look up kpop fics for inspo)

— instead of tolkien and his parents moving in across tegridy farms, it’s y/n. yeah that’s all i got

— doubling down except heidi’s y/n, and y/n doesn’t get back with cartman.

this was one i attempted writing a WHILEEE ago but never really. yk. got the hang of it.

but basically to sum the idea up, it’ll be the entire doubling down episode except extended. like, it could play it longer and extra scenes (ex. extension of the dinner scene where they make fun of cartman to heidi, every scene in the montage written out)

— childhood best friends to enemies to lovers where y/n had a big fight w the love interest days before they moved. but then they move back to south park and (not surprisingly) they got a glow up and they’re hot now! so everyone tries to flirt w them but the love interest catches their eye and they’re still enemies ofc but they catch feelings

— this is more of a oneshot, but y/n asks someone (or a set of people) to get matching sanrio pajama pants. yeah. do whatever stinks

— high school au. where y/n is a sad emo loser and the love interest is popular. and they lose a bet and have to ask solemn little y/n out but y/n says yes so the love interest is like “….. im gonna break up with them after three months.” but (spoiler alert) THEY FALL IN LOVE!

bonus points for angst w happy ending. like y/n finds out about the bet or something and then the love interest is like “NO PLS. I NEED U. U DONR GET ME” and they’re vulnerable and desperate and y/n’s like “okay! 😊😊”

idea. hi. i have idea. y/n gets bullied for dating love interest so they’re protecting sad little y/n bc they feel bad and it’s really cute and love interest thinks “…….:…. why is y/n kinda cute.”

— DETECTIVE KYLE X CRIMINAL Y/N PLEASE IM BEGGING??? i Love him i Need This. ARAAAAHHHHH

— angel y/n who is pure and innocent but NOT NAIVE! please do not make y/n sound like how those 2013 wattpad fics would’ve made her sound. demon love interest.

is it just me or y/n is a separate entity. she’s banging every character in existence like what. also i’m not religious so i wouldn’t really know about this stuff

# unwind dystology ──

— au where risa isn’t in a state home and she has cool foster parents. and she has to babysit lucas but one day she meets connor bc he’s home (shocker!) and they become friends and he slowly stops being away from home to see her 💘💞🩷

— CAN WE GET SOME X READER UNWIND FICS PLEASE

— au where y/n gets hired to be connor and risa’s bodyguard. and risa has her gay awakening so connor and y/n get to know each other and fall in love!

— blind date hayconrisa. how will this happen? idk ask urself

— high school au. again. why am i so obsessed w high school au’s IM BARELY EVEN A FRESHMEN DAWG 😭 but anyways fake dating haycon. like maybe connors trying to escape from his admirers so he agrees to fake date hayden.

surprise surprise. THEY FALL IN LOVE THOSE GAY FUCKERS

— mermaid risa x sailors connor and hayden. i live laugh love hayconrisa.

— jackson wang party and hayden gets DRUNK (boy u are not old enough to be drinking!) so connor takes him home and takes care of him

— rockstar au. do we smell it

— guardian angel hayden who is never serious to the point connor’s like “….. are u seriously my guardian angel wtf”. but haycon. i lov haycon

— LIFEGUARD AU. LIFEGUARD CONNOR IS THE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF. WHERE ARE THE ARTISTS I NEED U

— risa or hayden has to tutor connor bc his dumbass is failing every subject (high school au)

— underage smoking + shotgun kisses in the graveyard…,,…. hayden somehow gets weed so he shares it w connor and risa and maybe haycon/conrisa shotgun kisses oneshot. hear me out hello

— yo chat can we get some more unwind angst w happy ending

— greek god/goddess au? dunno how that’s gonna work but i just came up w it

— LOVE BAND AU. connor being sad emo guitarist with a hot keyboardist girlfriend

— au where lev did clap at happy jack…,…

# tcoaal ──

i cooked way too hard w these. someone better write one of them and tag me (we’ll get married in a gorgeous cathedral if u do… 🌝)

also IK THESE ARE MORE FLESHED OUT THAN MY SP AND UNWIND ONES! it’s bc i prefer multi-chapter tcoaal fics

— me trying not to mention unwind au whenever i think of writing fics for other fandoms. NO BUT SEEEEE it would work so well. like maybe the graves parents wanna unwind ashley and andrew somehow finds out so him and ashley run away (andrews.. uh, 17? and ashley’s 15 prob. u gotta know the unwind lore for this to work)

maybe they’re like starkey when he killed that juvey cop. maybe they do kill juvey cops. maybe

— 1980s AU OMG where it takes place in the united states (did europe have a lot of arcades back then? but anyways. the united states had more arcades so let’s just say it takes place there) and andrew is the sad emo loser at the prize counter.

and y/n is babysitting for some kids when she (not specifically fem reader but i have a habit of using she/her when talking about y/n…) decides to take them to the arcade bada bing bada boom

and the two meet at the prize counter and they hit it off really well despite andrew being an absolute ass. and the kids are like “….. are they flirting” so then y/n begins to take them to the arcade more often to see andrew 💞💞🩷💘💘💞 and they get to know each other outside of him being at work

— nsfw ashley x y/n x andrew threesome smut where they take turns FUCKING y/n RAW!

w/ plot: ashley and andrew are both head over heels for y/n and they’re arguing over who gets to have you because.. um. idk. and then y/n shows up somehow and she’s like “guys what—“ and they immediately begin flirting with her

so she’s like “i like the both of u WANNA SEX” or something (cmon im not good at porn w plot) so they… yeah. they BANG!

— government detective/officer y/n who gets sent to track down the graves siblings. she finds them w a colleague and is sent on an undercover mission to somehow befriend them, get close to them and lure them into a trap where they get arrested

but in the process (surprise surprise) she falls for them! and there’s four separate endings. one for if y/n picked to save andrew, one if y/n picked ashley, one if y/n picked both and somehow kept her job and one if y/n eventually hid her feelings and just let both get arrested!

maybe even some epilogue chapters for all of the choices. like for the first two it’s y/n getting spooned/spooning the other as they talk about what would’ve happened i’d they didn’t escape (bc y/n was smart and made the one who got caught walk in front) and the remaining sibling doesn’t know that y/n still works for the gov’t.. for the third one maybe y/n moves in w them and they’re all poly now? dunno. still thinking. and for the last choice maybe y/n felt guilty and went to visit them in prison to confess but they’re both extremely pissed

smut for this one would be crazy 😭 “technically i’m getting paid to get closer to them so it won’t matter if i let them make me cum right” typa sex idk

also. maybe y/n’s getting cornered in an alleyway by some creep and as she’s about to try and strike andrew and ashley save her! and that’s where the attraction starts because she’s like “wait.. they kinda have morals.. like kinda”

— now hear me out i might b cooking w this. rock band au. ashley does drums, andrew guitar, y/n something else maybe singer bc she’s a talented queen. and they’ve all been friends since childhood and ashley doesn’t really have a problem w y/n bc she hasn’t made romantic advances on andrew and occasionally lets the two hang out bc yk. ashley. anyways something something something idk

— i have one thing on my mind. catgirl + catboy ashley and andrew who both meet y/n as she’s their parents’ neighbor who’s smoking on her porch. and they approach her for some reason maybe andrew wants a cig and y/n is the funniest person alive so they both grow a liking to her

love love love catgirl ashley killing her victims and then poking them with her tail as andrew just stands there like wtf

[riacte]

tip: if you’re feeling lightheaded but can’t sleep at 4am, do not go on a binge of your comfort mcyt stuff because you might end up having a wacky dream in which i was watching a stream and heard something that made me completely lose my mind. so naturally i went on tumblr.com and posted “before you yell at me YES i’m watching the stream” and in the tags was like “wtf can’t believe the ship is canon”.

then someone dmed me on discord like “umm can you confirm what you meant in that tumblr post?” and then it turns out i was so excited by the stream that i tuned out what they were saying next and misunderstood the situation 💀 it was another ship that became canonised 💀 and i got clowned on heavily and maybe crucified for spreading misinfo—

anyways i woke up and nothing chaotic appeared to have happened on tumblr so i was like “oh thank fuck it was a dream and i didn’t actually make an utter fool out of myself”

[the-invisible-queer]

I fucking KNEW watching all that Power Rangers and seeing JDF before bed was gonna make me dream AND IT FUCKING DID

Anyway I had a Criminal Minds/Power Rangers crossover dream and it was wild

Right so in the dream I was like the Power Rangers' connect with the US government. So my whole job was to report on the shit they were doing.

I was married to Tommy BUT APPARENTLY there was trouble in paradise because I was having an affair with Mat Cruz from CM which like I WOULD NEVER 😭

It was such a cliche affair because I think I told Mat "you understand me more than *he* does" LIKE EXCUSE ME BITCH

Tommy who was in charge of recruiting new Rangers whenever there was an opening invited me out on a mission

I'm a paperwork bitch I don't belong on the field

So when I was telling Mat about it he joked about me barely even being able to use a gun and offered to give me training but apparently I had my own Ranger suit that was an "in case of emergencies" type situation and I showed him my morpher which was a Light Speed Rescue one which is wild I would have thought my nerd ass would have a Dino Thunder morpher but I digress

And Mat was like "since when" and I told him about a time Tommy had one made for me because I almost died in the field and that's why I usually stay at my desk job

So then he's like "then why does he want you back on the field if I were him I'd keep you in your office where you're safe" but he said it so protective 🥺

So anyway the day comes and I'm in my office prepping for this mission and Mat and Tommy show up at the same time and I'm just like "hi"

Mat is there like "by the way I have a back up team at the ready if shit goes down" and Tommy is so grateful and like I didn't think he knew about the affair (but I was wrong 😭)

And Tommy is there to brief me for the mission and after Mat leaves he goes "I like him good to know if something happens to me he'll take care of you" LIKE WHAT 😭 and I'm like "wtf are you talking about" and he just doesn't address it further and just tells me about the mission but I'm still like 😳

Mission happens and shit goes DOWN

And I am unprepared so I do call for backup because these nerds are getting their asses kicked and I lose sight of Tommy and Mat is like "wait for backup" but I'm like "I gotta find him" LIKE A DUMBASS and Mat is trying to convince me to not be fucking dumb so I turn off communications

Never have I ever said dream me was smart

I fucking morph into my suit which I can't see from first person but based on the gloves and morpher I guess I replaced Ryan as the titanium ranger which like fine whatever

I find Tommy after my dumbass gets captured and man is fighting for his life fully injured, barely conscious and I'm trying to make sure this man doesn't pass out and I'm talking to him and he's mumbling responses to me

I was asking him about moments from our relationship and basically once again I am questioning how dream me would ever cheat on him

Anyway we get captured by Mat and his backup team and at the hospital in in Tommy's room as he's recovering and Mat comes by to explain that despite the setbacks the mission was a success and he gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he leaves and aftrt he leaves Tommy is like "I know"

And I'm like "know what?"

And we end up having a very serious discussion about our relationship and what's gonna happen moving forward

Long story short Tommy snd I get a divorce but we remain friends

And I guess dream me lived their best life with Mat Cruz

[booksandwords]

Exchange of Power by Tricia Owens

Series: Juxtapose City, #8 Read time: 4 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: "Don't die," Starr murmured against his lips. "It might have been okay before, when it was only about the sex between us. But not now, Darkness. I'm in too deep to lose you now." — Calyx Starr

Warnings: Read this book with caution. There are no warnings as to the true content. The Juxtapose City series contains multiple incidents of dubious consent, murder, drug use, torture, incest, oh and the occasional light blackmail.

😵🤯😘 And we are back to wtf just happened??? There is a lot to digest from the last maybe 20% of this. Game-changing events. Moments of just why. Sex as power is nothing new to Juxtapose City but some of how it is used here is... offputting maybe. We have new antagonists with differing motives and new relationships but it is still Black and Calyx against the world. Masochistic Black is back and I'm really not sure how I feel about that. The payoff to that in a way is that we get to see Calyx, the former whore, as what is possibly the strongest ace advocate in the city. As stated sex is power so in this world it really can mean next to nothing. It is good if maybe end heavy entry, lots of arc conclusions and full stops. It feels like a hark back to the original style of the series.

I'm writing this review nearly a year after I read the book, it is going to be largely dot points. These are just things to be remembered going forward and things that I appreciated.

I want to say that this starts off in Captain Dick's head. He doesn't appear much after that. But what we do get from that time with him is incredibly important. It is an explanation of what he's been doing all this time. F***er.

The title Exchange of Power is perfect, it doesn't make sense until the end. And I promise you it will make sense at the end. And at that point, it made me so emotional.

Masochistic Black and uber-possessive Starr both appear with more frequency in this than they have for a while, Starr is a possessive creature anyway but there is a scene in this that triggers him badly. And leads to an interesting moment of character clash. In a way that is near painful to read.

This has one of Parker's visions a strong and rather terrifying one. But I'm trying to figure out the context of it given the ending of the book. It feels like it is definitely going to come back later. (Parker)

Calyx was armed with a faze whip. He wanted to wrap it around Kard's nuts and repeatedly push the button. Hell, he wanted to stand on the button. — I mean given what Kard is doing with Black I don't blame him. (Calyx)

"I want to hitch my wagon to yours. I've heard rumors on the streets about what's on the horizon and I want to make sure I'm high enough up the food chain that I can make a difference when it happens." "You're talking war." — This is a clever play, for both of them. Sundhill has done his time as the villain de jour now he gets to be a half-valuable ally. And he will make a good ally in his own way. (Black and Sundhill)

Sundhill broke the kiss again to suck on his earlobe. "Agent Starr has his hand down his pants," he whispered. Black shuddered violently. "He likes watching us." Sundhill sounded smug. Black didn't care. The thought of Starr watching him prostitute himself to the Golden Wonder both shamed him and turned him on in the dirtiest of ways. — These two and Starr have the most messed up relationship. But there are some smart language choices here, Black referring to Sundhill as the Golden Wonder. (Sundhill and Black)

"You sure as hell didn't warn me you were going to do that! Did it slip your mind that Sundhill wasn't wearing a Bliss tab? I felt every fucking second of that man's lust for you, Darkness! I felt everything he felt when he was talking about fucking your face and ordering you around. My god, I need to scrub my brain out now because of that!" — This is Starr's reaction to the moments of the quotes before. Starr wasn't jealous so much as pissed and reacting as is only normal for someone (in particular a former sex worker who enjoyed it) who is in the middle of a sexual feedback loop. (Calyx)

"I know what you're doing," Calyx sobbed against his ear. "I won't let you do it. You're not using me to punish you. I get that you hate yourself for what you did to us, but that's where this ends. I'm not letting you turn this into something even uglier." "It already is!" — Calyx has a serious possessive streak that is on full display here and Black wants his masochistic itch scratched. This is the moment in which they both break. Black is punishing himself and using Starr and his love as a weapon. (Calyx and Black)

"If you want to hurt me, then hurt me." Black held out his wrists, tight together. "Cuff me and punish me. Make me scream and cry. Make yourself feel better. I deserve it, don't I? I've brought nothing but misery and suffering to your life. You're right. You can't trust me. Every other word out of my mouth is a lie. My name is a lie. You hate that about me so get some of your own back. I'll let you." — Black wants to be punished it's that streak again. I love how Calyx in all his glory decides to punish him. It is a moment of pure power for Calyx and something that Black needed.

It wasn't sex he wanted, but connection. Sex was poor glue for holding two people together. Having fucked a few hundred people, Calyx knew this better than most. — 😆 The former whore may just be the best ace advocate in this world. (Calyx)

"How can you love me this much? How can you forgive me? I'm nothing but a monster." Calyx groaned and hugged Black tighter. "Don't ask me questions like that, okay, sweetheart? You break my fucking heart." "I think you're trying to burst mine," — This is a moment of pure love between them. It almost broke me. Black is back in his dark near self-loathing points. (Black and Calyx)

"I love you, Parker. Fuck, I don't care if we're supposed to be on opposite sides of this war. I don't even care if I have to sit in the bunker and knit sweaters for you. I just—I won't let anyone tear us apart. Tell me what I have to do to keep you with me." — Is that the first time we've heard him vocalise his emotions? Love being the most important here. They've done all but never said the words. And there is such desperation here, Jake needs Parker at this point, more than he needs oxygen. (Jake)

2nd Quote: It hit him like paint thrown at a wall: reds and purple, anger and fear; blues and grays, violence and despair— "The fuck you've got my fucking back you fucker—" —green for Calyx's eyes, black for Black who screams and screams, and charcoal, gunpowder, and smoke— "—you don't know shit, you motherfu—" —pulling at his arm as Black screams and there's icy blue and Genesis-noPhoenix-noGenesis-noPhoenix is jumping at him and the explosion is yellows and oranges and somewhere there is green, green for Calyx's eyes as Black is screaming, screaming because of the red...I wanted this in here. — Parker

[rabbitindisguise]

I agree with that last line, but before anyone just stops putting energy into relationships they're scared of losing to ableism, let me just add some things that have been helping me these past couple months:

looking up the dsm entry for my specific diagnosis and keeping it in mind, because these thoughts are common with many mental illnesses and even chronic illnesses that are disconnected with reality. Your life could be perfect and you can feel like garbage anyways, I have done that plenty myself even in totally benign situations. That's what mental illness entails in a lot of cases

magnifying the bad ableist situations or constantly fearing them will not protect me from new ones at all, and in fact may leave me with only the terrible memories because I'm too busy being fearful of fostering good ones

the idea that hiding your problems will be better for others is the devil talking, it often makes them feel like crap when they find out. It's easy to associate the finding out about disabilities with the negative reactions; it's hard to face the fact that sometimes it hurts people's feelings when I'm carrying a heavy problem but don't trust them to not abandon them if I tell them or ever have an issue. (Not that they're owed that information- it's just that people don't often know how do deal with a huge bummer like "oh I didn't tell you every time I was suffering when we went to the mall together" is like "so I just ignored the fact that I lost my shoe because I didn't want to bother you" and it can be difficult to get over the wtf reaction.) Often disabilities amplify this feeling so it's not our fault when we feel this way, but it's worth doing it scared if the alternative is not trying to form connections at all

good relationships aren't always found, they're also made by working stuff out. If someone says something ableist I've stopped seeing it as the end and as the beginning of trying to work things out.

(more stuff under the cut)

and like, I used to think this way without reflecting on it, and it really held me back as a person and stopped me from seeing my valuable traits and seeing how well I fit into what I valued in a person. Now I can freak out and know I'm freaking out over nothing and it really makes all of the difference. Feeling like we're totally alone and isolated and everyone hates to deal with us is a common theme in all of media aimed at people in middle school, because it's relatable and there's plenty of people who are a joy to be around who feel this way. And if you feel like there is something specifically unpleasant about yourself, there's always the option to just . . . consider changing it, if you can, or the circumstances that make it happen more- even if the solution is unconventional. There are parts of myself that I thought were fixed but were just evidence of parts of my life that were just sandpaper to my ability to function, and the negative things people hated where the signs of the stress I was feeling bleeding through into my interactions with others (like being uncharitable, snapping, defensiveness, irritability, and overall unfriendliness). If that means I can't watch action movies, drink caffeine, or I end up reblogging a lot of pictures of mountains on tumblr, so be it!!! I'm making more friends who don't care if I cancel the nth time for movie night or if I can't do something easy in a way that's inconvenient because I'm treating myself well and treating others well as a result of the energy I get back from that.

Plus: Lots of the time, people just want someone who thinks they're fun to hang around, who likes stuff they like, who have similar life experiences, and who relate to the world in similar ways. "Being disabled" just means for me that equation looks a bit different- I make friends with folks who do similar hobbies that are more accessible to me, I talk about my favorite shows with people who are interested in those things. We are who we are because there's a kernel of something that drives us toward what we like, and leaning into that is what makes life fun (I say, white knuckled as I stare at myself in the mirror while I weather a mood disorder)

maybe i’m just projecting but i think there’s an inherent loneliness in living with a severe mental illness that makes you feel permanently estranged from others and long for the kind of connection where you feel completely understood and accepted, all while knowing other people have their own stuff to deal with or are just not equipped to ride out the worst of the illness with you. this leads to downplaying and/or hiding your symptoms as best you can, which takes even more of a psychological toll on you. this leads to not feeling loved as a complete person, and maybe not recognizing that love when it is present, or always fearing the day people have had enough and leave. even more so if this has already happened to you. it’s so exhausting and sad

[jjungkooksthighs]

No. No. Nooo!!!!! I feel like I've been waiting 50 years for this chapter, only for you to leave it on such a horrific cliffhanger!! There is no way you're gonna kill off alpha Jungkook! I refuse to believe it. Honestly, I felt my heart plummet into my stomach when I read that cliffhanger. A part of me was in such disbelief I had to re-read the last paragraph. I'm in a state of shock right now. Wtf just happened!

Throughout the last few chapters of lead up to the battle, I always thought JK was a little too cocky about his fighting ability. And while I knew he could easily beat Tae and Jimin, I always thought Yoongi was a wildcard. He seems to be a much better fighter and that he could possibly beat JK. So a part of me was a little worried for JK. I was actually wondering if he could lose to Yoongi in the story, and what the story would look like if that happened. But then you started doing all the alpha!jungkook asks, which seemed to take place after the battle. So that kind of lulled me into a false security of "oh he wins the fight". Even though nothing in the asks confirmed he won. While reading this chapter, I was kind of expecting Yoongi to jump in somewhere. But he didn't. Until the very end. And now I'm left stunned speechless. I really hope that it doesn't take another 8 months to find out if Jungkook survives the fight! My sanity can't handle it. I completely understand why it was so important to you to get this fight right, and I definitely think you nailed it. But I think now the pressure falls on the Jungkook/Yoongi battle, so I fear it will take you just as long to write the next chapter. But I feel like it wouldn't fit the story if Jungkook dies. The whole story has been lead up to him claiming her and the really freakin' awesome smut scene that is supposed to follow it. And if he dies, I feel like I would be jipped out of what the story was doing for 13 chapters. And if Yoongi wins that means he forcefully claims and rapes OC over and over again. I'm not sure that would be a good rest of the story! LOL So I'm pretty sure Jungkook will win. I'm like 80/20 on Jungkook winning over Yoongi. But now I'm thinking what ifs. What if Jungkook does lose to Yoongi, but can't handle the thought of losing OC, so he goes rogue, steals OC, and they run away together, forever to be hunted by Yoongi. See now my mind is wandering all over the place with what could happen in the next chapter. This is why I hope it doesn't take 8 months to find out. I will probably pull out all my hair by then!

A horrific ending, you say? Oh dear… that’s not good. Hard to hear that something I wrote was horrific. :/

Anyway, It has been a little while since COC was updated, but as I went over in my author’s note, it was important to me that this chapter was done right and that it was everything that I envisioned in my head. This chapter and the next one both were one of the first ideas I had for this story, so I wasn’t happy with what I was producing prior to posting.

Of course, being that I am a very self-critical person, I wasn’t entirely happy with how this one came out. I felt like I could have done it better, but it came to a point where I just couldn’t stand to keep deleting what I had anymore, and so I made myself keep going until this chapter was finished through a 3-4 day period.

It seems like what most talking about is that ending. It’s not a kind of ending I’ve ever written before, but then again, I’ve always tried to challenge myself to being in new elements and facets to my writing so that I can continue to develop it.

You seem very worried about Jungkook, but I think it would assuage you a little if you remember all the things that your alpha has promised to you and what he’s told you about his seasoned status in combat.

After all, one does not come to be the Lead/Pack Alpha unless all other alphas submit/yield to him. For that, he would have to battle any alpha that tried to take his title/rank.

Even Yoongi.

Recall that Jungkook has asked you to trust in him. To believe in him. For his sake, you should.

Also, the next update won’t take months. I promise.

[broken-everlark]

Exactly beast boy & raven are a perfect example of opposite attract but in a healthy way since raven didn't want to be that way anyway. Since they never actually happened, they are still healthier than wenclair would ever be. They are helping each other be better but not fully changing themselves for said person.

Exactly! Wednesday herself has shown multiple reasons why wenclair wouldn't be healthy. Even in an Addams family way they are still unhealthy as fuck. Because yes Addams family may be a bit kooky and scary but Gomez and Morticia are one of the healthiest and honestly adorable ships because they just adore each other so much and in their own dark way they are wholesome. Like I said I went into the show with 0 expectations & honestly I was expecting to hate it. But I loved what they did. I even love the side characters which I rarely do🤣

I'm so surprised that long time Addams family fans still like wenclair. Their only defense is that opposites attract🤣 or their hug scene or when Wednesday makes Enid mad, and she goes to stay the night in another friends room. Those two scenes literally can be explained so much easier than romance because I got 0 chemistry from them when I first watched this. Remember, I went into this show unbiased & not expecting a good show, so this is my honest first thoughts and they haven't changed. But the scene with Enid switching rooms for a bit & getting frustrated with Wednesday. Was to show that's all Wednesday did, push people away because of her stubborn and dark personality. Enid again wanted Wednesday to change, wanting her to be a bit nicer and stop being so weird (like you said, the taxidermy set & the guillotine). Things Enid doesn't like. But Wednesday, being stubborn and thinking she doesn't need to change ultimately was left alone. Made her think about her actions and how she treated her newly found friend. The hug scene at the end, honestly, is to show that Wednesday is trusting her, thanking her for saving them even if she was in a losing battle. Since the entire show, she barely trusts anyone and only one person, which was Tyler. But I still don't get how anyone can romanticize a hug scene. Not in a romantic way because wtf is romantic about a hug?

Exactly, small subtle things Tyler did too, like their date, he made sure to get black everything, even picking out a movie he knew she'd think is horrific. Like you said, he went along with everything she liked, never told her to fully change like Enid or Xavier. He told her to make up her mind about what she wanted. Not to change.

I never liked Joel, but he wasn't the worst. And again, everyone and their moms love Joel. I don't understand how they hate Tyler when Tyler is just as sweet and a normie boy until the end when the reveal is shown. But it makes Tyler better. A Hyde would fit perfectly with the Addams especially one as fucked up and tortured as Tyler. Morticia & Gomez seem like the perfect two to understand what he went through, and they seem like they'd be very understanding. To maybe help him through the mental part of being without a master since Faulkner's Journal said hydes will go insane without a master. Repeating what happened with Fran.

Exactly even the way Wednesday goes about it (yes, she does call him names or says some lines to try and irritate him. But she still knows what Laurel did. Even saw it in her vision, what she did to control him. I hope it wasn't sexually but it is hinted at that it indeed was physically, mentally/emotionally manipulated, and sexual torture. What pissed me off is that people don't even bother to think about the scenes he's in or EVEN THE DAMN TORTURE SCENE. THE SHOW GIVES US. They just ignore the fact that Tyler was emotionally manipulated by the thought of his mother, injected with poisons, and beaten down while chained up to a cave wall in the middle of the woods. Like he's a teenage boy! What the actual fuck?! And yet people call him a villain. The first thing I caught in the police station was Tyler's tears. And when you actually listen to his words, it's absolutely heartbreaking. Apparently people with only two brain cells can call this kid evil. When literally the show itself showed them multiple ways of how this kid is a fuckin victim! Even hinted at during the Rave'n & in Faulkner's diary. He looked uncomfortable when he was left alone with Laurel, and in the diary, it literally spells it out in words that hydes have to be tortured and manipulated to obey their master But I feel like that's the only way Faulkner tried. Apparently, they need it shot scene to scene in front of them because they can't just actually watch the show..

Honestly, I feel like wenclairs & Tyler haters didn't even watch the show or pay attention.

Honestly, people can ship what they want. I would never force petroclair on someone. I just see them as too wholesome and that's probably why people don't like them.

Yes, I get where you're coming from with Bianca and Lucas. I don't think they are dating at the end of the show. But if they do end up together, it better be something other than their both black. I think they could work just because Lucas only seems comfortable with two outcasts, Enid and Bianca. But they better show us how they could be good together and not just skip over them.

Wait, Bianca showed him the hideout? Did I miss that? Sorry it's been a long while since I rewatched Wednesday. I didn't think they were together in this season.

I mean I also would be perfectly fine with Bianca being independent and not wanting to date after Xavier because Xavier is the worst type of person, accusing her of using her song on him and fighting with her then when he's all depressed at the Rave'n he asks her to use her song on him like wtff. I could see why that one experience could push her away from dating. And I wouldn't mind Lucas just focusing on his fathers death or just not in the mindset to date. But I can somewhat see him with Enid. Like, he's my number 2 for Enid if Ajax wasn't a character.

Hell, some people ship Wednesday & and Bianca, which honestly it makes a bit more sense than wenclair, but again, they are both stubborn, and I feel like Bianca needs someone who's open emotionally. Needs someone to reassure her that she's not like her mother and her friends and her partner aren't with her just because of her siren song. Wednesday again doesn't fit that. Because she's not emotionally open to anyone. But I'd rather have Bianca be alone or with someone she actually makes sense with, someone that won't treat her like absolute garbage like Xavier did. Wenclay just doesn't fit as well for me because, again, both stubborn and someone is going to have to change. I like the rival/friends thing going on, and I'm glad the show gave Wednesday so many friends even if they don't fully like her or if they stem souly from Enid.

Can we talk about how Wednesday was in the most none triangle love triangle ever? Like, Wednesday and Tyler were doing their own thing meanwhile Xavier was just kind of there. Now if Wednesday liked Xavier too that would be a proper triangle, but that’s not what played out. She was always upfront with him that she was there for Tyler. He was just guy on the side who had a thing for a girl who’s into someone else. It was never a triangle. It almost confuses why anyone calls it a triangle at all.

[4giorno]

continuation to the last post 😘 i reached tag limit. anyway SPOILER WARNING on this one

[animes-trash]

Lawless’s growth

Ah, here am I, back into Greed Pair hell. Welp. 

So, in this current arc, Strike has given us some good Lawless content, and parallels. After I was utterly destroyed by chapter 117 - 118, i decided to get a bit deeper into Lawless’s growth. 

First of all, let’s acknowledge the trust that Licht and Lawless now have in each other. Even before getting into the fight with Jeje, we can see that Hyde is not the same as before with one big parallel (that some people already talked about on this site).

The first picture is from chapter 27.5, the second if from 106. The pose is obviously the same, to parallel just how much Lawless has changed between those two moments, In the first panel, he is rambling about how human lives are useless and how everyone dies in the end anyway (fucking emo).

But in the second panel, he is actively searching for Nicco, World End’s eve. In this translation, Hyde thinks “I already know what it means to find that one person*. It’s good but quite vague, whereas the official french traduction is slightly different, and I love it. Translated it says “I know what it’s like to finally find a good eve... that we don’t want to leave.”. This says so much about how Lawless has changed. His bond with Licht has become so strong with time, it’s not even that he tolerates him or something, he wants to stay with him. Knowing where he comes from, that’s a huge step.

Now, getting to the fight. (Or you can read this post where I ramble about how Licht jumped of a window).

So. Jeje unexpectedly (to Lawless, at least) hurts Licht’s hand. Beforehand, Hyde said that he’d be the one to get close to Jeje because he can survive bullets and all, to protect Licht. Why would Jeje get interested in the human anyway ? The real fight is between Servamps. Or so he thinks. And I find this panel very important.

“You’re implying that Licht is my weakness ?!” He thinks this as if it made no sense. But this is absolutely right. I don’t know if Jeje thought this far, but he knows about Lawless’s past and his story about Ophelia. He knows it’s a trigger for him, so in a bitchy way, he attacked Licht.

And boy does it work. That grin that Hyde has ? It’s his nervousness acting up. We’ve seen his laughter fits before when the situation got out of hand to him. He then straight up fights Jeje, and he is angry.

But as soon as Jeje’s guns point toward Licht ? He just loses it and completely panics.

I’ve thought about it for hours, and that’s the only way I can interpret what happened afterwards. Utter panic. That “don’t mess with me !” line ? That’s just his anxiety showing up as anger. Also, the not on my watch panel, doesn’t it remind you of another chapter, way back ?

Strike, those parallels are going to kill. (Sorry. I’m sobbing as well, seeing this picture.)

I don’t know if we can talk about PTSD for immortal vampires, but if we can, damn does Lawless have it. What happened with Ophelia traumatized him hard for centuries. He’s starting to heal, but some wounds can’t be fully closed. Especially with Licht getting shot. 

(Lot of pain coming)

As soon as Hyde tries to put Jeje’s gun away, his arm fail him, and he starts to- what, melt ? I had a big wtf is happening moment reading this chapter. I first thought that he was starting to feel the consequences of getting attacked by Tsubaki, like Lily. But then I realized that it isn’t his body failing him, it’s his mind. I don’t know if we can talk of a panic attack, but it sure looks like one. And in a way, I think we can say that it’s because of Tsubaki.

Remember, what mostly changed about Hyde is that he’s really emotional now. In the C3 arc, when we discover it, it’s mostly put as a joke. Haha he cried a lot now. But for someone with as much emotional baggage like him, it’s truly dangerous. Like right now, because his fears and trauma are getting the better of him and make him unable to fight- to protect Licht.

And he’s not only melting, he’s crying. Panic attack, hello. Again, I’m saying, look at how traumatized he is ! “I failed to protect someone again. I always fail”. (Don’t mind me wetting my keyboard as I’m sobbing). Also, that pose on the ground ? He’s losing it.

I still wonder about Lilac’s panel. Is it just for the panic parallel, or is Lawless saying that he regrets killing all of Tsubaki’s subclasses ? The way he sounds, it’s like he thinks he deserves it. We’re back on the theme of his growth. Before, he never would have put his actions in question.

Anyway, he’s starting to melt into his “demon” form again. (Still wondering how the Count decided to merge Hyde with this). If we remember, he’s transforming into some useless blob. Again, I don’t know if Jeje thought this far, but it almost worked. If he totally went back into the blob, he would have been unable to fight.

But thank the gods, Licht is there for him. “Hyde, get a grip, you idiot”. It’s so them. Lawless is stuck in his panic of Licht dying, but even if he got shot, it’s only his arm. It’s not a vital point at all. Licht isn’t in any danger. (Well, medically yes, but it is a manga and he’s a main character). My only fear is that Licht is a pianist, and he needs his arm to work. (Once again, it’s a manga. If Licht has troubles playing the piano afterwards, it’ll only be because Strike choses it. Also, look at Mahiru’s arm. Not a single sequel. So yeah, author’s choice. (THINK OF THE ANGST THOUGH. FANFIC INCOMING)).

Anyhow, the scene cuts there to the rest of the fight. It could be the end, but we learn more in the raws of chapter 120.

(No ads for me. Sniff.)

That’s truly after I saw these panels that I was sure that Lawless’s condition wasn’t him getting affected by something exterior. As soon as he gets his mind together, he’s good to go. I quickly used google translate, so basically what World End says is “Lawless ! What you said was right. As expected of Big Brother. If you care for you master, protect him properly. It’s a little rough”.

In this scene, Nicco survived a gunshot to the gut after shenanigans in World End’s core (or whatever). Point is, he’s alive. That obviously cheers up Hyde who can think properly again (and he probably understood that Licht’s not in mortal danger by now). As soon as he’s calm, his body gets right again.

To conclude, Lawless of Greed is a character who is really deep, more than we can think. He’s gone such a long way since the first time we saw him in volume five. A lot of characters went through a lot, but him especially. Also because he was among the first to have a big character arc (second to Kuro) a long time ago, we get to see him grow a lot, and I feel like Strike is really showing it at this point. Hopefully, we’ll get a bit more of him dealing with his feelings toward his past and toward Licht. Maybe a bit from when he was human too, but maybe I’m asking for too much.

Gee you guys are still there ? Damn. 

Well, see ya <3