#anyway the announcement i was planning on has been delayed by a few weeks so i have no idea when i can actually do it

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Rumortracking Anon, here’s my take vis a vis Hazno(fill-in-the-blank) on the broad timeline of BP’s announcement that KCIII has cancer. We were told that cancer was discovered during KCIII’s benign prostate surgery, and that it was “in a different part” of his body. It’s quite common for undiagnosed malignancies to be discovered in this way (a good thing). It could be in another part of the genitourinary system (eg, the bladder), was detected via scope through that organ system, and biopsied. It could be hematological and have been detected via bloodwork. We just don’t know. However, as with all suspected cancers, it would have to be confirmed by pathology testing, which usually takes 7-10 days, depending on which tests are required. 

IMHO, KCIII and Camilla were informed of the potential cancer immediately after the prostate surgery was completed, and then William and Anne (at least) were informed soon thereafter. They all still had to wait for over a week for pathological confirmation, during which time they kept it 100% private. Once they had confirmation, and a treatment plan/schedule was finalized, only then did BP make an official public announcement - necessary because KCIII would be immunocompromised from treatment (whether chemotherapy, radiation, or immunotherapy) and would have to cancel public appearances.

They waited to tell H in California until just a few minutes before BP released the public announcement. That way, he (ie, Meghan) had zero time to leak the news to Scooby Doo the press. In other words, H found out 7-10 days AFTER KCIII, Camilla, William, and Anne (and others as well) knew. Even on the very slight chance that H/MM wouldn’t have leaked (as if lol), H still would’ve hopped on a plane to London pronto, alerting the press anyway that something was amiss.

Harry truly has been PNG’d by the BRF. He’s out of the royal loop, totally ostracized. Never again will they be able to trust him - with anything - and he did it completely to himself. No family secrets, no intimate family holidays, no impromptu meetings with KCIII or William, they don’t even trust him to stay overnight at a royal residence anymore…“go to a hotel, Harold.” Where’s Shakespeare when one needs him? Imagine the play (a history? a tragedy? a comedy? all three?) he could write of this royal saga! It would have to be in 3-15 parts, though.

***

All of this tracks and makes sense to me. I do agree that Harry was called at the last possible moment. Another anon and I were discussing earlier tonight the speculation that Meghan was leaking to Scobie/other reporters about the Queen’s illness and her death before the family was ready, and the family was later made fully aware. So in that case, it is completely believable that the BRF waited until just before the news dropped to avoid the same scenario. Could you imagine the panic that would have been if someone other than the official BP spokesperson announced the King had cancer? I mean, there was plenty of panic when it was under BP’s control.

And you’ve just reminded me of something - Charles ended up stayiing an extra day at the hospital. I think he was originally meant to leave Saturday/Sunday, but instead he left on Monday. At the time, I had thought Charles delayed his departure so as to distract the gathered media so Kate could leave unnoticed. Now, however, I wonder if the extra day was so his doctors and care team could do some additional testing.

And really, who needs Shakespeare when South Park is available? 🤣🤣

[n7punk]

i know probably no one here gives a shit about it or listening to me specifically talking about it but i watched a great video on the watcher situation and i have thoughtsssssss so im going to spew them into the ether

tldr watcher (the former buzzfeed unsolved + worth it boys after they split from bz) did a big hype countdown for their fans... to them announcing they were launching a "streaming service" and paywalling all their content - present and PAST - behind it for 6$ a month. they totally shit on their fans saying anyone could afford it (i cant - or at least i wont for the value to me) and then they gaslit us and said it was never the plan to remove the past content even though they say it in the video and it was in the fucking variety article that launched along with the announcement.

anyway, what kind of surprises me is everyone comparing this to dropout (and now try guys) when there's another example of this that is even more relevant right now and it's roosterteeth, which is only relevant right now because they just went bankrupt. and imo, there's absolutely no comparison in value (however you feel about the content) between dropout/roosterteeth and watcher.

size: rt had a massive cast, dropout seems to have a decent amount too (only familiar with game changer, sorry). try guys has a few core members, true, but over the last few years they've been trying to diversify, bring more people in over a few videos to test the waters, and then they invested into new shows with those faces when creating their lineup for the streaming service. watcher is three guys. oh sorry four now they brought andrew on for the worth it clone 🙄 i hated that guy at buzzfeed and i hate him now lol

bloat: try guys started with a few employees working out of ned's old house and grew organically. dropout cut down significantly when they broke from college humor and budgeted until they could afford to hire more. roosterteeth started in a spare bedroom and then slowly grew into larger and larger offices over time. watcher immediately bought a massive office space in LA and then jumped to an even larger one, with 25 employees when most shows could probably be done with half as many people that end up credited! 25 employees and you upload once or twice a week if that?? that means one video has to pay for 25 people to live that week, in addition to business expenses. they want to be a large production company, so they're acting like they are without making the output or doing the research.

youtube presence: rt still uploaded most things to youtube, my understanding is dropout still posts as well, and try guys is planning to keep all their current shows on youtube, just on a schedule delay like rt did. all services have stuff exclusive to their service, but that's new, extra stuff that serves as a value-add. watcher was just going to abandon every fan that didn't pay for their service, and even after the backlash the delay is a MONTH? for rt it was just a week!

platforms: try guys is launching with the site, phone apps, and even a roku tv app! roosterteeth had an app too and dropout has phone/roku apps. watcher is launching with a single website in beta. it's a money-hungry patreon, not a streaming service with a diverse lineup of shows. calling it a streaming service is ludicrous to me.

(apparently the fan theory is that watcher caught wind of the try guys launching their own streaming service and tried to jump the gun to get ahead of them, but by god did they fumble that)

frequency: if you were a fan of one person at roosterteeth, as long as they were the main cast member of something, it was likely you could tune in to a new episode of something with them in it twice a week, sometimes every day, multiple times. like, it's insane watcher thinks they have the amount of content to justify this. and remember, roosterteeth failed! obvs it worked for a long time and there's warner bros being eager to pull the plug to contend with (not to mention the alleged embezzlement?) but youtubers should be really fucking cautious right now. try guys is launching with a catalogue of new shows they've been silently producing alongside their usual content for a year! that's the way to do it right

paid events availability: try guys used to have ticketed flagship liveshows that are all being added to the new streaming service. if you were the kind of fan who wants to go to all those, you might even save money. roosterteeth also had events like this that were exclusive to paid subscribers. watcher doesn't have anything comparable.

goodwill: i would argue this was a big contributor to why roosterteeth finally went bankrupt with all the trust (and good memories too!) lost in the scandals. dropout fans seem to be really proud of the company and how its run (i heard they're like, the only streaming service to offer residuals? thats so cool). the try guys went through their own scandal and only came out with a stronger bond with their fans for how quickly they acted (a few were lost, but my final impression in the end was we all gained respect for how they handled it). the try guys have talked about taking paycuts as the ceo to fund all this production! meanwhile watcher brags about how large their production is without ever justifying why they need it. related:

tonedeafness: supposedly the streaming service is to pay for high production value. no one is really buying that. the company is bloated and mismanaged, but the real thing was them launching a worth it clone. don't get it twisted, every ceo, part-owner, etc is to blame for this, not just the face of worth it, but no fan who is bankrolling the show themselves wants to watch someone else eat luxury food. people liked that when it was a grift on buzzfeed, not on them.

this is completely subjective but i watch three shows on watcher (unsolved, puppet history, and mystery files) and i'd have to be making 4x my salary for me to be willing to pay 6$ a month for three shows no matter how much i like them. like, i'm not paying 6$ for try guys either, but watcher being so focused on having "shows" and "seasons" makes it really easy to point to how little i really watch there versus try guys which has a big variety of stuff not tied to a specific show name. i never think about "which shows" i watch on try guys.

idk i just think roosterteeth's goliath cast and output still burning out should be brought up more when talking about (the comparatively) little 3 million subscribers watcher trying to launch their own "streaming service" when there's a pretty good cautionary tale right now - well, two when you consider how this went down lol

[thoughts-of-a-trying-tree]

whispers

word count: 908

warning(s): references to fics i've never written, lil bit of cursing, lockdown/pandemic/quarantine, extreme Self-Indulgence and Projection™ in a bogo deal!

-----------------------------------------------

The best day of Harley Keener's college life wasn't when he finally perfected the Iron Lad suit to maneuver smoothly, allowing him to tiptoe silently with a hundred pounds of metal around him.

It wasn't during the lockdown when Peter put in his retainer and his cheeks puffed out, and it wasn't that night, when he took full advantage of how adorable he looked.

It wasn't near the end of lockdown, when they discovered that the song Something Stupid reminded them of each other.

It wasn't a few months later, when Peter, drunk and tired, told him that it would be the song they should play at their wedding.

It wasn't even the next morning, when he didn't take it back.

It was after they went back to college in person, after they had settled into classes, after they had figured out that they distracted each other too much and sat on opposite sides of the rooms, after they mapped the best routes to their classes so they could see each other as often as possible, because obviously they were that couple.

It was in class, Harley with a Spiderman mask and Peter with an Iron Lad one, when the professor pulled his mask down to cough for the third time.

When Harley, done with this shit, muttered low, "God, just fuck yourself, if you want to die so bad go for it, but don't bring us down with you," so quiet even he couldn't hear it, and he knew no one could see his mouth moving. When Peter, on the other side of the room, snorted. And turned around to look at him.

Well. Tomorrow, the games would begin.

'*'*'*'

Harley had planned to spout random passages from books they'd both read, mimic Tony, and he'd memorized a good chunk of dad jokes he found funny that night, but all those thoughts left his mind when he woke up to Peter leaving their apartment for a class they had together.

Harley threw his arm over his eyes after he left, silently grumbling that Peter didn't have to go so early when what he'd seen actually hit him.

Peter. Leaving the apartment. A red sweatshirt. Block letters on the back. His last name.

His last name.

Had Harley ever gotten up so quickly?

'*'*'*'

He speed-walked out of the apartment about half an hour later and barely remembered driving to campus. He ran in fifteen minutes before class, trying to look inconspicuous as he stared at Peter from across the room, laughing and joking with his friends. Peter, in Harley's Rose Hill Swim sweatshirt with KEENER emblazoned on the back.

Harley's plans fell out of the window faster than he could catch his breath. Peter turned to him, cheeks raising under his mask, and Harley could see the devil-sly smile in his mind. Two can play at that game. Peter could be a little shit, but Harley could match him too.

Change of plans.

'*'*'*'

Less than ten minutes after the professor had begun the lecture, Harley decided he couldn't wait any longer. He tilted his head towards Peter ever so slightly and waited until Peter stopped typing his notes.

"You look so beautiful in my clothes." Harley whispered. Peter stiffened slightly, ran a hand through his hair, and went back to typing.

Harley waited.

The next time Peter paused, "Scratch that." He stilled. "You look gorgeous all the time." Peter turned towards Harley ever so slowly and froze. He shook his head and pulled at his ear, then returned to his notes.

Pause. "I guess it's because you look like something I should own." This time Peter turned around completely and his eyes latched onto Harley's. A red blush crept up his face and Harley grinned. How long would it take until the red of his face matched the red of Harley's sweater? "Mine. With my last name on your clothes like the whole world should know." Peter whipped back to face forward again, typing at his notes, though Harley could tell from here that he wasn't typing anything comprehensive.

Pause. "Personally, I think the whole world should know. You'd feel me with you even when I'm not there and who would even come close?" At this point, it was a struggle for Harley to keep his voice low. It felt odd to speak so quietly and still see Peter reacting to him and he certainly wasn't learning anything the professor was saying.

Peter didn't go back to typing. His hands were frozen arcs over the keyboard and his chest moved with deliberate breaths. "Wow, darlin'. Didn't know I had such an effect on you." He twitched. Harley couldn't help himself anymore and broke.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

'*'*'*'

By the time they both got back home, Harley was almost vibrating to see Peter alone. He had only just tossed his bag down when his back hit the wall. Peter's eyes were dark as sin and looking into his own.

"Did you really think you could get away with the stunt you pulled this morning?" Harley surged forward and pressed his lips to Peter's, feeling him fall pliant against him.

Pulling away, he laughed breathlessly, leaning his forehead onto Peter's. "Lost your fire so quickly?" Peter hummed by way of reply.

"Killed me, not being able to say it back all day."

"Say what, darlin'?" Harley whispered into the space between them.

"I love you too."

[thetargaryenbride]

A break [Levi x Fem!Reader]

Requested by: @emmaandemmal  Hi, I love your works! Can I request one where Levi and his fem s/o have been a couple since before they were captured by the scouts in the underground? After the deaths of Isabel and Farlan, the reader tries to convince Levi to leave the scouts with her to go and live together in a safer place, but he refuses saying that he believes in Erwin's vision of the scouts and the two begin to fight badly. The reader eventually stays in the scouts because she doesn't want to leave without him, but the relationship between Levi and the reader is getting colder and more detached. The reader begins to think that Levi is no longer interested in her after noticing his growing friendship with Petra and she decides to leave the scouts thinking it's the best decision for her and for Levi. When Levi finds out, he tries to find her, but without success. Only a few years later, he catches a glimpse of her in the crowd after the scouts have returned from an expedition and he follows her. Once they arrive at the reader's house, she and Levi make up and the reader claims that she has been selfish in the past and that she would like to return to the scouts to fight against the titans and to claim the deaths of Isabel and Farlan. Eventually the reader and Levi resume their relationship and Levi promises her that nothing would separate them again. I'm really sorry that it's so long, if you consider this idea feel free to modify it as you wish. Sorry for my English too... it’s not very good. Thank you so much, you're one of the best Levi writers I know! ❤️

I’m sorry for the delay, dear. I was struggling with a mini writer’s block and was focusing more on art but I’m slowly getting back on track! Thank you so much for the request and thank you for your kind words. This really means a lot to me! As far as modifying goes, the only thing I modified is the timeskip. Instead of a few years, I made it one year. I hope you don’t mind ^^

Words: 4.5K

Warnings: Very Brief mention of suicide, prostitution and self-harm

Hope you like it  ❤️ Feedback is deeply appreciated! ^^

Also, if Levi seems OOC, please feel free to correct me~ I accept constructive criticism ^^  

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

You were arguing.

You never argued.

But the situation that had befallen you made you feel all sort of ways and neither of you knew how to express those emotions, that stress, which is why it had slowly turned into a fight.

“You shouldn’t have agreed! We have no idea how the world above works! We’re going to fuck up, Levi,” you raised your voice, hands clenching into fists by your sides, levels of anger rising at Levi’s indifference at the situation. You knew that it was only a façade and that deep down Levi wasn’t indifferent. You knew he was probably worried just as much as you were. But right now you were so scared and you wanted him to just show some more emotion, fight back, shower you with words of reassurance, hug you…anything…not just stand with crossed arms, staring at you.

“So what, I should’ve let the bushy eyebrowed bastard send us in prison?” he raised an eyebrow as if challenging you to give him a good reason for your big distaste of joining the Survey Corpse. He couldn’t understand why you had exploded like that when he had agreed. It was the perfect opportunity for the fulfillment of your mission…Not that you had been very accepting of the mission either. Your paranoia and distrust always clawed at you, many a time ripping any semblance of reason and logic. But he couldn’t’ exactly blame you. He was similar in a way. He supposed that this is what living in the Underground did to you.

Living?

No. More like struggling, digging in the mud, to survive.

And the two of you had been doing this since you were kids.  

“I’d rather rot in a prison cell than a titan’s stomach. And since when do you trust nobles anyways? It’s mostly because of them that we all fester here in this dump,” you spat out and he pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a sigh.

“If you are so against this mission, why are you even joining?” he shot back and you choked on whatever words you had the intention of spilling.

You took a deep breath as you slumped next to him on the couch, body completely slacking in defeat as your anger simmered down a bit.

“Do you even have to ask me that?” you muttered as you stared at the ceiling, the hands in your lap fiddling with your fingers. “It’s because I would never turn my back on my family…on you,” you murmured as you straightened up and turned to face him. “Even if it’s the stupidest decision which would probably result in something shitty, I’ll still stick with you. You are all I have…I love you,” you timidly uttered the last words, casting your eyes downwards as a slight blush spread over your cheeks. The man sighed before his hands went to grab yours, successfully stopping your fiddling and wringing, squeezing them reassuringly.

“Look at me,” he ushered you gently yet firmly and you lifted your head, locking eyes with his. “We’ll be fine.”

You let out another sigh before you leaned, letting his arms encircle your form as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

“I pray that you’re right,” you whispered and just when you thought you could have a moment of peace, Farlan entered the room with a constipated expression. You couldn’t blame him. You were all beaten and battered by the soldiers and your ego was bruised, even though you let them capture you. And now they were all standing in your home or surrounding it while you packed the little of your belongings, breathing down your neck.

It was suffocating.  

“We’ve packed everything. It’s time to go.”

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

You wanted to blame him.

You wanted to tell him – “I told you so.”

But that wouldn’t bring back Farlan and Isabel.

It wouldn’t stitch back their ripped bodies.

They were gone and the only thing you could blame was this world.

Because it was so cruel.

And the only beauty you found in it was your love for Levi and his love for you.

He had no fault. Nobody knew that things would turn out like this. That fate would decide to cackle in your faces.

The two of you stuck together like glue more than ever after that day. You even went as far as to disregard rules as you would sneak into the men’s barracks just to sleep with him because he was the only one who managed to chase away the nightmares and wipe your tears. And you knew, even without him saying it directly, that you were the only one who could comfort him when he was feeling the burden of the world crushing his shoulders. And Farlan and Isabel’s deaths really did feel like the whole world just crumbled on top of you two. The only difference was that you were more prone to emotions and didn’t find such a difficulty at expressing them unlike Levi who preferred to bottle everything inside, feign indifference and coldness and find toxic coping mechanisms like not sleeping which as time passed shaped into the ugly form of his insomnia, despite all the scolding you’ve done.

Time passed. The first weeks after Isabel and Farlan’s deaths, you had been inseparable. But that slowly began to change after the date of the next expedition was announced. Your paranoia spiked up one night after you had tried suppressing it for days and that resulted in a breakdown.

You wanted out.

You wanted to leave the Scouts.

You had even gone as far as to talk to Erwin and the Commander, literally begging them to help you with the citizenship matters and let you and Levi leave. But of course, they refused and Erwin even went to speak to Levi about this, not knowing that the man had no idea about your plans and wishes.

Levi was angry that you did something like that behind his back. He understood your fear. He understood very well because he was afraid too. He was afraid that he was going to lose you too – the only person he had left. But he didn’t appreciate that you hadn’t been straightforward with him regarding such a serious matter, only revealing everything you have done and felt at the heat of the moment.

“I’ve been dreaming about this since I was a little girl, hiding in the wardrobe, listening how man after man would use my mother every night. Dreaming about a life, safely tucked in the corner of the world, surrounded by beautiful nature, peace and quiet, alongside my beloved person... Is it so bad that I want this for us?” you had asked with trembling voice and Levi’s expression had softened, a sign that he had forgiven you for everything and that he didn’t want to argue anymore.

“As much as I want that too, we can’t have it when the titans are roaming everywhere, threatening to wipe out Humanity. If we don’t destroy them now, we are only delaying our doom,” he muttered as his hand went to softly caress your cheek, making you sigh as you leaned into his touch. “But that man, Erwin Smith, sees something that I don’t. He has a plan to save humanity and… he sees victory… That’s why I want to stay in the Survey Corps and fight,” he admitted and at that moment, you found yourself captured by that determination burning in his eyes.

His desire to fight for a better future.

Not only for the sake of you two, but for the sake of thousands of people.

And while you weren’t completely sure yet that you were ready to sacrifice your happiness and life for a bunch of people you didn’t know or care about, you knew that you were ready to sacrifice anything and everything for him.

And that’s why you stayed.

And he knew that. He knew you better than you knew yourself. But he chose not to call you out for this. Because he understood how you felt. He didn’t belittle you. He didn’t call you selfish or insensitive or a bad person just because you didn’t want to care about anyone else but him. What does selfish, insensitive or bad even mean? They are just vague concepts that are different from every person’s point of view.

And as more time passed, after every expedition, he could see why you wanted to leave. He could see why you didn’t want to fight. Every expedition, every death, left an impact on you, stealing bit by bit from your sunny personality and shaping you into a depressed, miserable person.

Even if you claimed that you didn’t care about strangers dying, deep, deep down, he knew you did. It was just the person you were, trying to convince yourself that you didn’t care about anyone but him in order to protect yourself. But on a deeper level you still cared and you were still affected and he knew that you hated feeling like this – it brought only chaos, confusion and misery to your mind and soul as you desperately tried to live up to your own expectations and build walls around yourself only for every brick to be broken as a comrade would send you a smile or compliment you or help you out with something. And after every expedition, he would gain a better understanding as to why you wanted to be selfish and leave. Why you wanted – why you tried forcing yourself – to stop caring about anything and everyone and run away with him – the one and only person who – you tried to convince yourself – mattered.

And he didn’t know why he couldn’t follow you. On many occasions, he felt the same. But somehow, for some reason, he would always find a way back to Erwin – back to the goal they shared for humanity. He didn’t know where that sudden loyalty for the blonde had come from – the same blonde who more or less had been the reason as to why Farlan and Isabel had died. But it was exactly this loyal bond that had formed between them that prevented Levi from following you and he hated himself for it because he could see how this life of soldiers was destroying you from the inside out and there were moments when he would lay at night and dark thoughts would cross his mind – of your body hanging from somewhere or him finding you drowned or with sliced wrists or a bullet stuck in the head.

It wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to turn to self-harm as a coping mechanism and some even committed suicide.

The fight against the titans wasn’t something to be underestimated and it left an irreparable damage on everyone.

And he could see you were heading that way and he hated himself for not being able to put a stop to this and just grab your hand and run away from everything – as you wanted.

That’s why he decided to distance himself from you. He thought that maybe if he started ignoring you, if he was being cold and distant, it would put a rift in your relationship. It would make you think that he didn’t love you anymore. That you were a painful reminder of the past. And once your bond was severed, nothing would be holding you back. Nothing would stop you from leaving. Because he was the only thing, the only reason, as to why you were still sticking around. And then maybe you would finally be able to find the peace and quiet you had been seeking for ages.

His conversations with you became shorter. His answers – curt. His affection and acts of service decreased. It had brought you to tears, thinking that you had done something wrong and it tore him apart when he caught you crying one night. But it was for your own good so he had to grit his teeth and bear with it never mind how much it hurt that he was causing you this suffering.

Him being promoted to a Captain helped a lot. Now he didn’t need to find reasons or excuses to not spend time with you because he was genuinely so busy all the time. The stress was making him snappy too so he tried avoiding conversations altogether, not wanting to actually say something hurtful because then he would feel even more pain and regret and that would have his resolve crumble and he would go back to being loving and affectionate which was far, far from the goal he had.

Then Oluo and Petra had entered the picture – two members fresh into the Survey Corps, graduated from the same trainee squad with incredible talent and promising skills. He had taken them into his squad but he didn’t know that this would be the final straw to put such a rift in your relationship.  

It was true that Petra was a bit clingy. Her infatuation, devotion and loyalty to him were obvious. But he thought it was a childish, fleeting crush which is why he didn’t find it necessary to confront her about it. He thought it would disappear over time, especially with how both she and Oluo seemed like an old married couple more and more with each passing day. He didn’t want to push away the members of his own squad. He wanted to embrace them. To embrace their friendship. On a subconscious level, he was trying to fill the gaps left behind from the people he lost. The gaps oozing loneliness and pain. The gaps you couldn’t fill because he wasn’t allowing you to in his haste to push you away.

And when one day he went to have lunch with Erwin, as the two needed to discuss important matters in his office, he wasn’t expecting the blonde to deliver such mortifying news to him.

“Look, Levi…I’m sorry to say this but… Y/N left the Survey Corps,” told him the Commander with a sombre tone and Levi felt his entire world shift.

Suddenly, regret flooded him, chilling him to the very last atom.

Erwin saw each and every emotion flashing in his eyes. And even if he wanted to remind his friend of the words he had told him years ago, he couldn’t.

Because there were things in this life that were impossible not to regret.

Like losing a loved one because of your or their own demons.

It was one thing to lose a loved one to death. And completely another to lose them because of your decision.

Levi didn’t utter a word, pressing his lips in a thin line as he swiftly stood up and turned on his heel, leaving the office with ebony bangs covering his eyes, shielding him from his friend’s look of pity and compassion.

He needed to think.

He needed time.

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

You don’t realize how much someone or something means to you until you lose them.

No, that’s not exactly it.

Levi cherished you a lot. Levi loved you a lot. You meant the world to him. That’s why he wanted you to leave. He wanted you to find peace. He wanted you to live a good life away from that misery and bloodshed.

Even if it killed him on the inside.

Because if you truly love someone, you would let them go if it was for the sake of their happiness.

But now that he’s finally gone and done it. Now that he not only pushed you away as a lover but pushed you away from his life altogether, he felt lost.

He felt lost and miserable.

As if life was drained from any sound and colour, leaving him to float in some abyss, soaking in his own negative feelings.

The sorrow, the pain, the dread, the loneliness.

If he had to list them all, he would waste all of Erwin’s expensive parchment.

And as he laid there in his bed, after thinking and reflecting on everything for hours on end, staring at the ceiling with an empty bottle of alcohol shattered into pieces against the opposite wall – alcohol that barely got him tipsy – he realized that maybe he wanted to be selfish too. That, combined with the regrets of pushing you away, burned at his soul, melting any doubts he had, like a blacksmith melting steel, and solidified his resolve to find you and bring you back, like a new sword being forged.

So next day after he had gotten all his emotions, thoughts and feelings in check and after he had taken a decision, he approached Erwin and asked for your location.

He was unpleased when his friend told him that he had no idea where you went off to. Part of Levi wanted to be angry and yell at him. Accuse him of lying. But he was so tired after the emotional and mental battle he had wielded that he just gave up on his anger and frustration and decided that instead of letting such negative emotions rule over him, he would brush them aside instead and pave way for that same scorching determination he had for the Survey Corpse’s cause, now combining it with the determination of finding you.

And he didn’t stop.

Once he started, he didn’t stop.

He would visit every town, every village, whenever he was free from his duty.

He never stopped looking for you.

It took him roughly a year to scout most of Wall Rose’s lands.

But it was during one fateful evening, after the Scouts were returning from an expedition, when he spotted you.

The sun had just set, allowing the sky to be painted in purples and blues with shimmering stars being sprinkled onto the canvas. The street lanterns shone brightly and the comforting light spewing from them had illuminated a very familiar form.

A form that Levi knew like the lines of his own palm.

He hadn’t wasted time to jump from his black mare and chase after you. He didn’t want to approach and confront you right away so he just settled for walking at a slow pace behind you, trying his best to not be noticed or come off as some creep.

He seriously couldn’t believe his luck.

Knowing your thought pattern, he believed that you had run away somewhere far. Back in the days when you lived in the Underground, whenever you had arguments – which was very rare – you would always run away from home and hide somewhere far, knowing that it would be hard for him to find you and nearly giving him heart attacks because of it. But this time you had decided to hide right under his nose – near Trost district which was not far away from the SC HQ.

He counted himself outsmarted and he didn’t know whether to be annoyed by this or proud of you.    

You looked radiant even in the dusk. The cream dress you were wearing made you look like a vision, glowing in the dark. It reached a bit past your knees, revealing some of your calves while the upper part left your collarbones in the open. He longed to run his fingers over your skin. Through your hair. To touch you. To feel you. To hold you. To tell you what an idiot he was. How he wanted you back in his life because he couldn’t exist without you by his side.

To apologize.

“Are you going to keep following me or are you going to help me carry the basket?” your voice interrupted his train of thought and he cursed lightly under his breath. You chuckled and stopped in your tracks, turning around ever so slightly, eyes finally landing on the person you were so anxious to see again but didn’t have the courage to approach.

He wordlessly took the basket from your hands and began walking next to you.

All the way to your house you stayed silent.

He didn’t even comment when you exited the District and neared the woods, only lifting an eyebrow.

Your shoes and his boots clinked against the cobblestone pathway, the little door of the wooded fence creaking under your touch as you pushed it. His eyes scanned the yard, taking notice of the freely roaming chicken, a few lambs, one cow and one horse – your horse from the Survey Corps. He could vaguely make out a garden peeking from behind the house so he supposed you also had a backyard where you were growing your food. He almost flinched when a huge dog – almost as big as you and him – came running in your direction, demanding head pats which you gladly gave.

Levi was impatient. He wanted to enter the damn house already and talk. But at the same time, a part of him was happy about the delay. He almost gulped nervously at the thought of the following confrontation.

Almost.

At last, you unlocked the front door and the two took off your shoes, putting on slippers, and moved into the house. You took the basket from his hands and placed it on the kitchen counter before you grabbed a rag to wipe the table and beckoned the man to sit down. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, taking a step towards the chair before halting, looking at you rigidly, and resuming his journey until he was finally sat. You clenched and unclenched the rag before you threw it away and sat across him, fingers now playing with the soft fabric of your dress. You looked at the ground and he looked at your feet, noticing your toes curling and uncurling from nerves even through the slippers.  

“I-“

“Levi-“

You both said at the same time and you chuckled lightly at the cliché situation.

“You first,” uttered the man and you gulped, sending him a wobbly smile.

“I want to apologize-“ you took a short pause and an intake of air when you saw his eyes widening as his features twisted in a dumbstruck expression as if he was unable to process why you were apologizing. “-for leaving so suddenly without uttering a word. It was…childish,” you quieted down and he closed his eyes, sighing deeply. “You were walking further and further away from me, getting extra busy with being a Captain and…and then Petra came into the picture,” you muttered but were fast to wave your hands in defence, “Not that I ever doubted your loyalty! My trust in you would never waver but…I just thought that maybe we both needed a break. We needed to breathe and clear our heads and start thinking properly. That’s why I decided to leave and give us some space. I never truly intended on leaving the Survey Corps or abandoning you…You mean so much to me…but I’m still sorry that I-“

“Stop,” he rose to his feet and you quickly followed, anticipation and fear at his next possible words, building up inside of you, making you feel like burning. “You don’t have to apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

That calmed you down a bit, the fear leaving your mind, but instead, worry settled as you looked at the way he lowered his head and bit his lip.

“I acted wrongly…I was foolish by thinking that pushing you away would bring you the freedom and happiness you sought,” he muttered and your face softened. “I just,” he sighed as his trembling hand went through his hair in an attempt to ground himself. “I just saw how impacted you would get after every expedition…how you started losing that glow of yours, your bubbly and sunny persona…I saw how hard you were trying to force yourself to stop caring, to be selfish and leave, but you still couldn’t because…because you’re not like that… damnit,” he grit out as he tugged on a few strands before letting his hand fall and rest against his hip limply.

He kicked himself inwardly. He was never good at expressing himself. The moment he had seen you in the crowd, the moment he had set a goal to talk to you and sort everything out, he had been reciting in his head and thinking what exactly he was going to tell you and how he was going to explain himself and the reasoning behind his actions.

“I just-“

“-wanted me to be happy…So you thought that by being a dick and pushing me away, you would make me leave so I can find my peace and quiet somewhere far, far away,” you finished for him, deciding to help him out which caused him to halt in his speech and just stare at you, waiting for your next words, the terror of you rejecting him or telling him that you didn’t feel the same anymore felt like a nettle rope around his neck, getting tighter and tighter with each second, suffocating and scathing him. “Listen, while you might have been partially right, you were also wrong. Because even if I do find happiness away from all the bloodshed, it just wouldn’t be the same without you, silly,” you shook your head as you sent him a sad smile. “I’d rather endure all the pain and suffering in the world than be separated from you,” you finally took the courage to close the space between you as you laid your head on his chest, arms slowly sliding around his torso. He didn’t hesitate to return the hug, sharply bringing you closer, if that was possible, and squeezing you so hard you didn’t know whether to groan from pain or chuckle at seeing him express himself so openly and in such a sweet, boyish manner. It kind of brought back memories from the days you lived in the Underground and how he would hug you exactly like that when you would do something stupid that would put you at risk, albeit a bit more awkwardly since back when you were teenagers you both had no idea how to express your love for each other.

“Deep down I knew you were onto something. Because why would you start acting like that so suddenly? It just wasn’t in your style. But at the same time I felt…” he tightened his embrace even more and buried his face in your hair, inhaling your scent and letting it comfort his tortured mind. He had missed you so unbearably much.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry,” he whispered and you sighed as you ran your hands over his back in a soothing manner.

“I forgive you, Levi…I understand that you did it for my own good. But believe me when I say that I can’t find true freedom or happiness without you by my side,” you placed a kiss on his shoulder before pulling away to look him in the eyes. “Don’t ever leave. Don’t ever try to make me leave. Let’s just stick together through thick and thin as we’ve done since we were kids, ok?” you asked and he nodded, leaning hesitantly. You met his lips halfway and you kissed gently which slowly turned into a passionate, hungry, heated and desperate make out as you tried to feel one another after a whole year of being apart. When you finally broke it off, needing air, you rested your forehead against his and let yourself soak in his presence. He did the same. You just stayed like that, foreheads touching, arms around one another as you swayed ever so slightly.

“Want to help me pack?”

[leafcabbage]

i wrote a bit for the hunger games au when i was trying to get my writing flowing yesterday. here take this. (tw for one use of ranboos deadname, death, and intent of suicide). no editing lmao

“It’s just gonna get worse if you don’t,” Ranboo said, desperation tinging their tone. “I’m- I’ll still die but it’ll be worse.”

“We can’t kill you!” Tubbo cried, wishing that Ranboo wasn’t right. “You’ll- we can get out of this-”

“How?” Their voice broke, and Tubbo wanted to start crying there and then. “I was gonna die anyway, okay? I was gonna die at the start, and I didn’t, and I got to meet you guys and it was great, and you’ll never know how much knowing you meant to me, but it’s time for me to die. I’d rather it be you guys than- than-” They choked on a sob, tears starting to drip down their cheeks. “At least I’ll be with you.” 

“No way,” Tommy shook his head. “We- Neither of us can do that, I can’t lose you, we can’t lose you.” 

“I’ll do it myself, then!” Ranboo pulled their hunting knife–the only weapon they had left–from their bag, gripping the handle so hard that their knuckles were turning white. 

Tubbo grabbed their arm and Ranboo yelped, trying to pull it back, but Tommy grabbed them too and Tubbo managed to get the knife from them, tossing it aside. 

“Please!” Ranboo sobbed, going limp against them. “Please just- just do it. Please. You- you can- can both go home, I want you to live, please!” 

“We want you to live!” Tubbo exclaimed, turning to wrap his arms around them tightly, Tommy doing the same. “We can’t- we can’t-” 

Ranboo dropped their head to rest on Tommy’s shoulder, not even trying to hold back their sobs mixed with broken pleas. 

It was a long few moments of that, of holding Ranboo while they cried and trying to come up with some way to fix things.

Then an announcement cut through the relative silence of the arena, loud enough even for Tubbo to make out. 

“Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revisions have been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!” 

Tubbo felt the other two freeze just as he had, all three trying to process what that meant. 

They all pulled back slightly, still holding on to each other in some way, still as close as they could be while still able to talk clearly. 

“I can’t,” Tommy started, shaking his head, looking like he was trying not to cry. Probably because he was. “I can’t.” 

Ranboo shook their head too, but they didn’t speak, too busy trying to choke back their tears. 

Tubbo surveyed his friends for a moment. His best friends. The people he loved, because somehow in just over a week he had come to love Ranboo, because they were just that amazing, just that sweet, just that wonderful. 

Tommy looked so tired. So haunted, so much worse than he ever had. The cut across his cheek was long from being healed and he was very obviously favoring his left leg. The exhaustion, the grime, how tense he was–none of it was right. None of it was Tommy. 

And Ranboo. Ranboo who had been ready to die when he and Tommy met them, and then had decided to trust them. Decided to survive for them, to get a little further, to have time together. Tubbo almost wanted to apologize, because here they were, only a few days added to their life with so many awful things having happened. They deserved so much more than this. They deserved to be loved for so much longer. 

He couldn’t be the last one standing and neither of them would survive that either. He knew that much. 

Tubbo slung his bag off his shoulder, pulling the carefully wrapped device he’d made the day before. A bomb, once the wires were connected. A five second delay and then an explosion big enough to take the three of them out immediately if they were at the center of it. Which they would be. 

He stood, holding it out slightly to the other two. 

There was a moment where they were both clearly processing his plan, then Ranboo nodded. 

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “All or nothing, right?” 

“Right,” Tubbo agreed, fighting back tears again. “Right.”

He knew there were plenty of cameras on them, but he still held it up slightly, showing the audience what they were about to witness, promising them a show, really. 

“It’ll be a five second countdown once I let go of the button,” He explained to the other two. “And that’ll be it.”

“Okay,” Tommy took a deep breath. “Sounds- ha, sounds good. Good as dying can.”

Tubbo stepped closer to the other two, he would need both hands but he still wanted to be as close to them as possible, and not just to make sure all of their deaths would be instant. 

“I love you,” Tommy said, it was strange for him to be the first one to say it. He wrapped an arm around Tubbo and his other around Ranboo. “Thanks for whatever all this was.”

“I love you too,” Tubbo replied, leaning into Tommy slightly. “Both of you.”

“I-” Ranboo shuffled closer, so they could sort of have an arm around Tubbo too, like an odd group hug. “I love you both. Thank you.”

Tubbo took a deep breath. “Ready?”

“Ready,” Tommy replied. 

Ranboo nodded. 

Tubbo connected the two wires.

He took a deep breath, then pressed down on the switch.

“Stop!” 

The game master's voice startled Tubbo so badly he nearly let go, which really would’ve sucked. 

“Stop! Stop. We- Ladies and Gentleman, I am pleased to present the victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games, Thomas Innis, Tub- Tuberculosis Puffenbarger, and Sophia Beloved. I give you the tributes of District 3 and Tribute of District 8!” 

The three of them stood there for a long moment.

“Like, legit?” Tommy yelled, toward the sky of course. 

There was a long pause. 

“Yes, this is the official declaration.”

Tommy stepped back, “Tubbo, throw it, throw it, throw it!”

“Shit, fuck, shit,” Tubbo stumbled back. “Fuck, fuck, fuck-” With a slight running start he hurled the bomb as far as he could away from the other two, sprinting back from it right behind them, hands over his ears.

The explosion was loud but not detrimentally so, which was a relief, and the three of them were sprayed with dirt and gravel even from a distance. It definitely would have killed them. Well, Ranboo wasn’t sprayed with dirt, because Tommy was shielding them, taking the brunt of all of it, and Tubbo would need to tease him about that once the games were actually over. 

The games were over. 

The games were over. 

Tubbo slammed into Tommy and Ranboo’s sides in what was probably a far too forceful hug, seeing as he entirely knocked the two over, but he didn’t really care, because they had lived. All three of them had lived. 

“We made it,” He choked out, the tears now hitting him too. “We made it.”

“We sure did big man,” Tommy dragged Tubbo against his side in a tight hold, then pulled Ranboo closer too, and it was a mess with how tangled together they all were, but they were alive. 

“You good, Boo?” Tubbo asked, leaning forward slightly to see them.

Their tear tracks were obvious, the only cleanish spots on their grimey face, but they didn’t seem to be actively crying. They nodded but didn’t say anything, just reaching for Tubbo with their arm not pressed against Tommy. Tubbo took it, holding tightly. 

They’d made it.

[bethansfandoms]

Prompt suggestion — Remus masterminding a marauders prank (as usual) and Sirius just loves this version of his boyfriend so he's all heart eyes and he kinda stops paying attention to what he's saying and his minds starts wandering...

this prompt got a tiny bit away from me and is a little more marauders shenanigans with wolfstar on the side but anyway i hope you enjoy.

in the summer before their seventh and final year at hogwarts, remus and peter had stayed with the potters for the first two weeks rather than the last two as remus was going on holiday with his parents.

what this meant is when sirius greeted his boyfriend on the train station platform, he hadn’t seen him for four weeks and the closets he was allowed to get to fulfilling his desire to kiss him, was to embrace him in a brotherly hug which felt weird and wrong.

they’d planned to tell james and peter about them over the summer but when it transpired that remus would be away for the end of it, the beginning felt far too soon and both of them backed out.

sirius kept a hand on remus’ upper arm, squeezed, and then reluctantly let go as remus followed him onto the train. peter had claimed a carriage near the very back as the marauders needed top secrecy.

today was the day that their prank for the first day back of term would be finalised. of course, they hadn’t accounted for the fact that james potter would be made head boy. it hadn’t even been within the realms of possibility. james said he’d keep sneaking off patrolling the corridors to come and join them and him being head boy didn’t seem to deter his enthusiasm for the prank.

“hey moony, padfoot.” peter greeted. “how was france!”

remus smiled and told peter a few anecdotes as sirius listened to absolutely none of it and instead focussed on the fact that remus lupin had a tan.

remus never had a tan. during summer, he’d wear so much sun cream that his face actually got paler and the rest of his body was always concealed with clothing.

apparently remus’ freckles came out with the sun and sirius couldn’t stop thinking about the ones that smattered his nose and cheeks and how he’d quite like to kiss —

“okay, lads,” james snapped him out his daydream. “what’s the plan? quickly now because if evans notices in gone, i’m toast.”

remus grinned and pulled down a book from his trunk. “i researched it a lot. it’s entirely possible. even better, i think i found a way to choose what it says.”

a mischievous smile spread across james’ face. “you mean... when we put the spell on the sorting hat—”

“we can also add one that means it’s limited to whatever words we choose.”

james quickly stood and took out his invisibility cloak. “take this now incase i get called away. i assume you’ll be doing the spell, moony?”

the small smile that made it’s way onto remus’ face made sirius’ stomach flip. he loved remus like this. his eyes bright and excited with mischief, the dimple on his left cheek visible. sirius found himself contemplating just kissing remus right in front of them. that would probably give james and pete the message.

“sirius,” peter said, “any ideas?”

sirius blinked and looked quickly away from remus. “uh... about what?”

james laughed. “merlin, sirius, you feeling okay mate? this is the first and last prank we’re ever doing during the welcome feast and you’re a million miles away.”

remus smiled rather sheepishly at him. “any ideas as to what we should get the hat to say?”

they all went silent as they thought about it. well, the others all thought about it, sirius’ mind was still transfixed on the thought that kissing remus right here would be a pretty quick and effective way of coming out.

“we could get it to sing a song?” peter said slowly.

remus’ face lit up and sirius nearly did. kiss him for it. “pete, that’s brilliant! i don’t think i could get it to actually sing, but if we made it so every time it opened its mouth it could only say the lyrics to—”

“dancing queen?” james suggested. “i really feel like some abba.”

remus shrugged. “sounds great. peter?”

peter nodded enthusiastically, “if this works, we’re about to get the quickest detentions in hogwarts history.”

remus laughed, sirius decided his laugh was one of his favourite sounds. “sirius?”

sirius’ eyes flitted down to remus’ lips and it was mostly subconscious, however it meant that when he looked back up to remus’ eyes, he really couldn’t help himself.

sirius reasoned that they’d planned to tell james and pete at the end of summer originally and it was now the end of summer. sirius was also the one who’d requested they keep it a secret anyway and remus had always been okay with telling them. he also hadn’t kissed him for four weeks and he really needed to.

sirius cupped his face and felt remus laugh against his mouth as he kissed him. remus didn’t protest at all, instead he gripped the front of sirius’ shirt and pulled him slightly closer.

when they pulled away, james was watching them with a raised eyebrow and a grin and peter looked thoroughly surprised.

“that’s how you’re telling us about you?” james asked. “really?”

remus laughed again. “that was all sirius, i literally didn’t know he was about to do that.”

james shrugged and clapped sirius’ shoulder. “good on you. how long has it been then?”

“few months,” sirius replied, looking at remus and smirking a little.

james pouted. “weird. i only realised at the beginning of summer.”

“you knew?” sirius, remus and peter had all said it at the same time and it set them off laughing again.

“sirius, mate, you have the least discreet heart eyes known to man and this is coming from the guy who’s been pining after evans for years.”

sirius threw remus’ spell boom at him. “so you don’t mind?”

“as long as you two don’t break up and make me choose between you, i don’t mind.”

sirius gasped, “you’d choose me though, right?”

james looked to remus and hung his head. “i’m very sorry, moony, he’s my brother. you can have peter.”

“we’re not breaking up,” remus replied, rolling his eyes. sirius grinned and fought the urge to kiss him again. he quite liked the idea of being stuck with remus for the rest of his life.

+ bonus

sirius felt remus sit down next to him on the bench. they’d told the girls he was with madam pomfrey as the invisibility cloak would stay firmly on; appearing from nowhere would raise questions.

the group of shivering first years stood nervously in front of the stool, waiting. everyone else knew how this worked. the hat gave a speech, the sorting ceremony happened, they had the feast, they sung the school song.

the hat opened the the seam at the front and the hall went silent.

“you can dance, you can jive,” it’s voice rung out, “having the time of your life.”

some of the students got it immediately and burst into laughter. sirius couldn’t help but grin as well.

“see that girl, watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen.” remus was right, they hadn’t been able to get the hat to sing it, instead it recited the lyrics to abba’s dancing queen like profound and meaningful poetry.

mcgonagall had realised what was happening now and quickly waved her wand at the hat to stop it talking. some students booed in response.

she flicked her wand at the hat experimentally and waited for it to speak. “friday night and the lights are low.” she silenced it again.

the sorting was delayed until after the feast. they eventually managed to reverse the spell and the sorting hat gave it’s song, not one by abba, as normal.

after it was over, dumbledore announced it would be time for the school song. he flicked his wand and the lyrics appeared. everyone sung them in mismatched tempos, rhythms and pitches, just like always.

everyone aside from the marauders. they stood on the table and continued where the hat had left off. “looking out for a place to go! where they play the right music, getting in the swing, you come in to look for a king!”

the marauders, including remus as although nobody had seen him, they figured he was involved, were given detention on their first night back in the castle. mcgonagall informed them it was the quickest detention in hogwarts history and the first time gryffindor had ever been on minus house points.

to her dismay, they all seemed to see this as a grand achievement.

[lisbonsteresa]

We Keep This Love (In a Photograph) (Nancy x Ace)

The first time he finds the photo is the day after the food festival. 

He arrives at the Claw late, rushing to shove his jacket into his locker and get to the kitchen before George notices his absence, when something crinkles unexpectedly in the pocket. Reaching in, he pulls out the polaroid - a bit wrinkled, the right corner completely folded over - but still in one piece even after the events of the day before. He stares at it for a moment, crouching in front of his open locker, trying to recall when he had acted on the impulse to grab it off the coffee table in their rush to leave, and before he can stop to realize what he’s doing he’s studying the picture’s subject instead. Hair falling into her eyes, dirt from the tunnels still smeared across her face, her features set in an expression of determined focus as she dug into the box of files Carson had procured for her, still looking so perfectly…Nancy. A small grin crosses his face as he remembers her amused reaction to the flash of the camera turning into a sincere smile as Carson told her how proud of her he was - Because of her testimony. The grin drops off his face as the memories of the rest of the day rush back into sharp focus. The sense of uselessness he’d felt as he’d dangled from that railing and watched his life be traded for the lives of countless others; the terrifying amount of finality he’d heard in her ‘I couldn’t lose you.’; the way there was no doubt in his mind about what “favor” Celia had asked for in return - a favor that for all he knows Nancy could be fulfilling right this moment. 

As if summoned by his own despondent thoughts, the door to the storeroom suddenly bursts open and Nancy rushes in, her coat hanging off of one arm as she fastens her hair into a hurried bun. Her mad dash stops short upon seeing him, and as their eyes meet he’s suddenly overwhelmed by all the things he wants to say to her; all the things he held back the day before while Grant was around. The questions of  ‘How could you -’ and ‘Why would you -’ and the arguments starting with ‘This will ruin your -’ and ‘I’m not worth -’ cycle around each other in his mind, and he can tell that something’s about to slip out his mouth but he can’t make the connection between them to know what it’ll be - And then suddenly he doesn’t have to. George’s annoyed voice rings out from the kitchen, and he’s never heard the phrase ‘saved by the boss’ before, but after this he might consider adopting it. He quickly crumples the photo into a ball and tosses it into his locker, following it with his jacket as if burying the image would help him bury the feelings it brought up. He gives Nancy a curt nod, avoiding whatever he might have seen in her eyes as he turns and heads towards the stairs, knowing there was a difference between delaying something and running away from it, but not quite sure which side this was falling on.

——————————————————————

It’s several months before he sees it again. Long enough for Everett Hudson’s first case to be declared a mistrial due to jury tampering, and for the time between it and his retrial to be just enough to allow Nick and Ryan to find a smoking gun hidden in Tiffany’s files that put the Hudson patriarch away for his full sentence (officially, at least). Long enough for Amanda to turn to him on her doorstep two weeks after the trial and tell him that she and Gil were leaving - finally following up on his lead in Santa Fe. There were kisses goodbye and offers to help in any way he could, but they both agreed it would be better for her to focus on finding her mother, and at this point it’s been long enough that he’s starting to feel like he’s doing okay after the breakup. He’s starting to feel like everything’s back to…whatever passes for normal in Horseshoe Bay. At least, he is until Nancy announces - midway through George’s mandated After Hours End-of-Summer-Cleaning Locker Inspection, no less - that she’s gotten into Columbia. 

His hand had just closed around a crumpled ball of paper in the back of his locker when the words leave her mouth, and the ball stays in his hand even as he joins in on the group hug an ecstatic Bess initiates; as he tells Nancy how happy he is for her; as he reassures George that he’ll close up so she can ride with Nick to the celebration he’s sure Carson has planned for Nancy back at their place. 

It isn’t until he’s left alone in the storeroom and he drops down onto the bench in front of his locker that he notices how tightly he’s been gripping the paper. Or the…not paper, he corrects himself as he notices the different texture of whatever he was holding. A sneaking suspicion comes from the back of his mind as he starts to smooth out the ball, and once the image is revealed in full - slightly faded with the right corner ripping off altogether after he pulls a bit too hard -  he has to fight the urge to crumple the photo again and toss it into the trash. 

Which is a weird impulse, isn’t it? Because he was happy for her, of course he was. This was Nancy’s dream school, after all, and after the year that she’s had, doesn’t she deserve to do what makes her happy? To move on with her - His thoughts stutter to a stop. He shakes his head and tries again. After all, hasn’t he - haven’t they all - known this was coming, sooner or later? Hasn’t he known from the start that Nancy was meant for bigger and better things? That she wasn’t going to hang around forever, not in this nowhere small town, with her ragtag group of friends and the dishwasher who’s been at a standstill since high school -

He’s being unfair, he knows. Because Nancy doesn’t see it, any of it, like that. He knows how much Nancy cares; about Horseshoe Bay, about her friends…about him. She’d told him as much during the countless knock-down-drag-out arguments they’d had after the incident at the paper mill, hadn’t she? But he can feel annoyance - or maybe even anger -  rising up inside him, and if he doesn’t deflect it towards her, then he’ll have to confront himself, and he’s been avoiding that confrontation for months now. He’d have to actually think about why he’s been keeping Nancy at arm’s length even after they’d both said their piece during those arguments. Why he’d been so insistent that they’d ‘gotten back to normal’ when he honestly wasn’t sure he had any idea of what ‘normal’ was for them. It certainly wasn’t the way she’d avoided his eyes when he’d congratulated her, but he wasn’t sure it was the way she had held onto his hand long after everyone else had left their hug either. He’d have to actually think about how he’d wasted so much time pretending there wasn’t still something to fix between them, and how he didn’t know what to feel now that he’s realized they’ve run out of time anyway.

When Amanda had left, it had felt like they were mutually closing a door - calm and maybe a little sad, but with both of them smiling and understanding on their respective sides. Knowing that Nancy was leaving felt like having to struggle with a door against hurricane-level winds, without a clue of what side he wanted to be on once he finally got it closed. But maybe that’s not a fair comparison to make, he rationalizes. After all, he and Amanda were together. He and Nancy have just been…  He looks back down at the polaroid, his thumb running along the torn edge as he considers just what exactly he and Nancy have been, before dragging a hand through his hair with a sigh. Too late to figure it out now, anyway.

He leans forward and slips the photo between the pages of a library book already overdue by a year at the bottom of his locker. So he’ll have something to remember her by, he tells himself, unsure if the unpleasant feeling that settles in his gut as he slams the locker shut is bitterness or just plain sadness.

——————————————————————

Life goes on in Horseshoe Bay, even without Nancy Drew. It’s not until late fall when he sees the photo again. He’s helping George and Nick with the Claw’s first official Allhallowtide event, spending his day helping kids decorate their lanterns whenever he’s not hyping Bess up over text for her ‘very preliminary, very probational, very terrifying!!!!!’ (her exclamation points, not his) first in-person meeting with Aunt Diana since she’d started slowly rebuilding their relationship. 

He’s sitting on the steps leading into the storeroom after one of their longer text exchanges, laughing when George calls out for him to make himself useful and find more markers, but he rises to follow her instructions anyway. It takes him all of 5 minutes to realize that they are completely marker-free, digging through every drawer and pencil holder in the room and coming up with nothing, before he remembers the pack of Crayolas he’s pretty sure survived his last locker clean-out. 

He unloads his jacket, a few books, and the jumbo pack of earplugs he’s been drawing from ever since that siren incident three weeks ago onto the bench to make it easier to find the markers, but the earplugs overbalance the books and everything comes toppling down before he can even look through what’s left in the locker. 

With a sigh, he leans over and picks up the old library book that fell face-down, watching curiously as a square of paper drops out from between the pages and back down onto the floor. A catalogue card, he wonders, or maybe a note someone stashed and forgot about? But as he picks it up and sees the torn right corner, he realizes that not only is it not regular paper, but that he knows exactly what he’s going to see before he flips the item over. 

A shock runs through him all the same once he does, seeing Nancy’s face for the first time in months. He doesn’t have more than a moment to think about that though, as his phone erupts with seven text tones in rapid succession at the same time George’s shouts for him to hurry up reach the storeroom. After a tiny moment of hesitation, he slides the polaroid into his back pocket and shoves everything else back into the locker before making his way back to the dining room, marker-less and contrite. 

That was a mistake. He spends the rest of the day hyperaware of what he’s holding onto, patting his pocket for reassurance it hasn’t slipped out so many times that one of Ted’s friends asks him - with all the seriousness a 9-year old can muster - if he is also suffering from the ‘wedgie-saurus’. 

It isn’t until that night, after he insists that he’ll close up the Claw so Nick and George can stay with her sisters at the lantern-lighting event, that he has a moment alone to actually look at the picture. He straddles the storeroom bench, placing it down in front of him and resting his elbows on his knees so he can lean in close as a sudden wave of guilt hits him. He remembers the way their text conversations had petered out after long stretches of one-word or emoji-only replies; the way her calls had slowly become less and less frequent until they stopped altogether. He still gets weird looks from the others when he makes excuses to avoid their video calls with her; can still hear Bess’s overly-sympathetic voice after she’d spent a long weekend in New York telling him that everything was fine, that Nancy just misses him.

He misses her too; of course he does. Some days he misses her so much the ache of it catches him by surprise. Like when he'd realized his habit of watching the door for the first ten minutes of every shift, still expecting her to rush through it with her name tag missing and an excuse at the ready. When he made a Big Lebowski reference at dinner one night and got nothing other than a confused smile from his mother in response. When he was researching something at the end of the bar and felt a phantom presence at his shoulder, like she was just outside his peripheral, leaning up against him and waiting impatiently for him to turn towards her and give her the answer she was looking for. 

It didn’t seem possible for someone he’d known for barely a year to have become such a big part of every aspect of his life, but everywhere he’s turned for months there seems to be another reminder of Nancy Drew.

And that just makes everything worse. Because he hadn’t been able to give her the answers she might have needed before she left. And now, now that he’s had the time to figure those answers out, now that they kept him up at night, running endlessly through his head while he stares dejectedly at the ceiling, he doesn’t know if they’re still the same answers she was looking for now. And he’s terrified by the thought that they might not be. He’s gotten himself caught in a mystery he doesn’t know how to solve on his own.

But maybe… His thoughts are interrupted by the chime of the clock hanging above the back door, and he starts when he realizes nearly an hour has passed since he first sat down. Glancing at the photo again, he waits for the urge to tuck it back between the pages of that book; to push his feelings down and avoid having to confront them, but it doesn’t come. 

Something else clicks into place with the last chime of the clock, and holding the polaroid in one hand, he unlocks his phone with the other, ignoring Bess’s 5 recap and 2 goodnight texts for the moment while he taps the contact info for the only other person he’s sure will be awake at midnight on a Tuesday. 

She picks up on the first ring. “Ace?” 

Her voice sounds tired, maybe even a little worried, but so deeply familiar his heart jumps into his throat just at the sound of her saying his name. “Hey, Nancy.” he begins, unable to hold back a small smile as he looks down at her picture. “Can we talk?”

Maybe he doesn’t have to solve this one alone.

Maybe neither of them do.

——————————————————————

Nancy’s bright hair makes her easy to spot, even from his position across the train platform. He watches as she peers through the crowd, noticing him with a grin and a tiny wave, before he pushes off from the wall and starts to make his way over to meet her. 

He’d practically had to fight Ryan to be the one picking her up, he imagines telling her as she laughs. The man had been ready to push him down in the driveway until Carson had stepped in to - heavily, mind you - imply that maybe Nancy and Ace could use a little ‘alone time’. 

That part he might keep to himself, actually. It was bad enough that Carson acted like he was in on some big secret every time he got off the phone with his daughter; he didn’t need her wondering why both her father figures were trading smug smiles every time the four of them were in a room together. 

He realizes too late that he’d gotten caught up in his thoughts and that Nancy was suddenly standing less than a foot away from him. “Hi.” he murmurs, the memory of their last - somewhat awkward - reunion tugging at the back of his mind. (He almost wished his arm was still in a sling. Then at least he’d only have to worry about what to do with one of his hands).

“Hi.” she replies in the same tone, her own hands twisting nervously in the strap of her bag, but a beaming smile on her face. It was the same smile he’d seen during their almost daily video calls for the past month and a half, but he hadn’t thought to prepare for the way it makes his heart flip to see it directed at him, live and in person.

“H-how’s Columbia?” he manages to only stumble over the first word, but it doesn’t really seem to matter because suddenly Nancy’s dropped her luggage and launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to him while his arms instinctively wrap around her, pulling her closer still as he breathes in the fact that this is really happening, that it’s not a dream he’s going to wake up from to find the calendar mockingly reminding him there was another three days until her holiday break started.

He’s not sure how long they stay there, wrapped up in each other while the rest of the world moves around them, but when they finally pull away he knows his smile is as bright as hers. There’s a lot they still have to share - he hasn’t told her about his first day interning with John Sander yet, and she has a copy of the Daily Spectator with her first front page article stowed safely in her bag - and a lot - the distance, their schedules, missing each other - that they still have to figure out. But as he holds out his hand and Nancy takes it in hers, intertwining their fingers as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Ace can’t find it in himself to worry. 

Whatever happens, they’ll figure out a way to solve it. Together.

——————————————————————

(She finds the photo less than a week later; sees it hanging on the inside of his locker when she stops by the Claw to help them decorate for the holidays. Bess is beside herself at somehow being one of the last to know, but Ace can’t really focus on anything other than the look in Nancy’s eyes as she pulls him in for a kiss.)

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🚦Wed 23Dec ‘20✨

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, GET READY PEOPLE-- the Treat People With Kindness video (and single release?!) is coming!! A short clip was posted by Vevo that sems to have been a mistake judging by the quick deletion, WHOOPS GUYS but we've got it now and oooooh it looks so cool! The black and white retro nightclub scene features Harry in cabaret host sparkles and Pheobe Waller-Bridge channeling a stylized mid-century lesbian look to DIE for-- he takes her hand and they dance away, fade to black (though rumor has it the vid features Harry doing “full choreography”!). The clip Vevo posted seems to be for a Grammy promo, the captions on it match similar clips used for other artists for something they’re doing, but those clips were taken from those artists’ videos so hopefully it's a promo clip they plan to use AFTER gifting us with the full video and not instead or something terrible like that. I think we could all use some extra holiday cheer this year, here's hoping it's very soon! Anne Twist did join in on a fan effort to start the #TPWKXmas tag, let's hope it was because that's what we're getting...

The third to last LP Advent alarm features two truths and a lie about Liam, and his last interview of the year is out and is more like two lies and a truth, but anyway it's mostly just a product plug piece for the Harry Potter thing. It's Harry Potter game plug day all around in fact! The one Zayn promos announced you will be able to use special Zayn inspired avatar customizations, including his notched eyebrow, yes yes very cute whatever BUT ALSO there's like 2 whole seconds of Zayn TALKING about it, ugh it's like hearing the voice of a unicorn, so rare, so sweet, such a good accent! Someone who ordered a Walls bucket hat got a Fine Line boxed set instead, a far more expensive item but not what they wanted- it seems Harry and Louis' merch distributors kind of share a warehouse, because of course they do. Louis' team sent out warnings about delays in shipping due to the new coronavirus strain but did not mention the possibility of problems caused by the merch's insistence on being next to each other! Grandma Ruth backtracked in the face of everyone pointing out her lies-- she now tells us that while she did say Louis left “two days ago”, she actually MEANT “a few weeks ago” (at which time she said he was 'expected for christmas'). No word on what Brett really meant by 'prerecorded' and by backing her 'two days ago' story but can we now all agree on the obvious-- they are lying liars who lie-- and skip the unnecessary step of anyone taking them seriously next time? ANYWAYYY, #LightsforLouis trended because yes, childhood Louis was correct- the lights people put up this time of year ARE for his birthday (and so did about 20 other Louis birthday hashtags, enough to warrant a Twitter Moment, but I don't think #Iloveyou or #tommo need me to explain them...)

[whengeorgiawentblue]

So interestingly enough, there has been some speculation about whether or not Jensen directing Walker has been delayed again. And the speculation I’ve seen has been amongst non shipper Jensen fans who are not anti Jared (I personally am not a fan of Jared but I’m also generally not bothered by the non shippers who pretty much bury their heads in the sand about him and his behavior as long as they’re not blatantly anti destiel or Misha), so they’re truly just curious about what’s going on and not particularly for or against Jensen being involved with Walker. There was an interview with Jared released a few days (maybe a week?) ago where the interviewer asks about Jensen directing, and Jared gives a rather nebulous answer about it, mentioning Jensen being “much desired” and how he’ll be welcomed “whenever he gets on set.” His answer didn’t exactly suggest Jensen was about to be on set directing an episode. Now, there’s no way to know for sure when that interview was recorded, but the interviewer also asks Jared about his Thanksgiving plans, which suggests it was pretty recent. I would assume post Halloween, as the question would have likely been about Halloween plans if it was pre Halloween, but I guess you never know. Maybe the interviewer is just really into Thanksgiving and asked about it months in advance. Also, I was anticipating (and so were those fans I saw wondering about all of this) Jared, etc really playing up and heavily advertising Jensen being on set if that was happening right now. And to be fair, that could easily still happen, but it’s certainly interesting that it’s been so silent on that front so far. Anyway, apologies for how long this got, but I’m immensely curious about this and hoping for some sort of confirmation either way soon.

No apologies are needed, all you have said is very interesting, there's so much to unpack... actually, I was thinking about that, when was Jensen going to film Walker. This week the 4th episode is released, isn't it? And Jensen, as far as I know, was scheduled to film the 7th? How long in advance do they start to film an episode?

Who knows, maybe tomorrow, or next week, Jared and/or Jensen will announce something, but it's strange they haven't still said anything on SM. Specially on Jared's behalf, who would use this for weeks to promote the show before the episode is aired.

I had no idea about that interview (do you have any link?). If it's actually a recent interview (made during this month), then it's weird Jared still didn't know when Jensen would be available to direct Walker...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[not-a-coral-snake]

for @lamenweek Day 8 prompt: “It was one kingdom once”

"Their support is . . . tennous," Berenger says. He shifts his weight. "Your majesty, if I may be so bold . . . You retain their support because they think you are young and tractable. They think they can sway you, if not into abandoning the alliance with Akielos entirely, into minimizing its priority. If you proceed as you plan, you will lose their support entirely."

It’s like this sometimes. His nobles, or Damianos’s, dangling promises of support before them, of difficulties that could be amicably smoothed over, if only the king would be reasonable. The three nobles Berenger is referring to today hold between them a significant portion of Toutaine, rich in timber and mineral resources, and in Lord Mitry’s case, along a strategically-important stretch of the border with Vask. Appease them, and Laurent will have a significant amount more funds and men for fighting the more directly-belligerent of his uncle’s remaining supporters and pursuing the various domestic projects he has planned. Refuse, and Laurent will be likely be faced with years of delayed and short tax payments, a haven for smugglers that will sharply reduce tariff revenue from Vaskian goods, perhaps even a breeding ground for more direct rebellion. 

It comes as little surprise. Laurent knows it would be difficult to find broad support for his plans with Akielos even if he had political capital to spare. Knows how little political capital surviving his uncle's court has left him. Knows whatever tolerance, whatever grudging deference, he has wrangled out of his court by virtue of their nearly executing him on false charges is fleeting.

“Invite the Toutainais nobles to court for the snowmelt festivities,” Laurent says. “We can give them an opportunity to attempt to convince me of the wisdom of their position. It will be as much a chance for me to reassure them of the logic of mine.”

Berenger nods, jots down a note. “Shall I delay the announcement of the new trade policy with Akielos until after their visit, then?” he says.

Laurent pauses, shakes his head. There is only so much to be gained by stringing the Toutainais nobles along for a few weeks longer. “We cannot allow the reservations of a handful of northern lords to dictate our policies for the nation,” he says. “Announce the trade policy as planned.”

*    *    *

It had been an impulsive proposal, uniting the kingdoms, born out of high emotion rather than logic. Laurent is reminded of this every time he is faced with its costs. He had been dehydrated, had not slept in thirty hours. Damianos had lost rather a lot of blood. It was one kingdom once.

They do not plan to unite it into one kingdom again immediately or all at once. They had announced, in those early days in Ios, simply an alliance. In the negotiations that followed, they had laid out a stronger, more intimate alliance than was usual. They plan, over the next several years, to strengthen the terms of the alliance still further, the alliance’s existing success hopefully serving as an argument in favor of further entanglement. 

In the meantime, they plan to harmonize the workings of their respective governments, to increase trade and cultural exchange. They will join the kingdoms later, when Akielons and Veretians are no longer strangers to each other, when laws and governments can be joined without friction, when trades and interdeallings have grown to a point that union seems more natural than not. 

Moving the capital of each kingdom to Marlas has been an early success. Veretians are proud to once again rule over Delfeur, and see the court at Marlas as a literal and obvious symbol of their reign. Akielons, aware that Veretians possesses the province on paper, are glad of the new capital as evidence that Akielos still, in the ways that matter, holds Delpha. 

Damen smiles fondly at the gracefully shifting narratives Laurent employs when speaking of the two countries’ decision to form a court at Marlas, the flexible, carefully-chosen explanations he uses that allow everyone, Veretian or Akielon, to view the new capital as a win for their side. Laurent, for his part, never denies outright that greater unity with Akielos was his main goal in moving the capital.

*    *    *

There are costs for Damen too, among the kyroi and the powerful noble families of the Akielon court. 

Even with the lingering doubts and resentment left in the wake of Kastor’s coup, Damen’s position in his own court upon taking the throne was stronger than Laurent’s was. The rumors meant to delegitimize Damen after his return from Vere had never really had time to take root, and few of Kastor’s supporters had been truly loyal to Kastor himself, rather than Theomedes’s bloodline. Damen is a beloved warrior, a hero, triumphantly returned from supposed death to claim his rightful throne. He has the support of his people for whatever grand and improbable project he might wish to take on. 

The first grand and improbably project Damen takes on, however, is ending slavery. He and Laurent agree: ending slavery as early in Damen’s reign as possible is a moral imperative, as well as a practical one. Whatever chance there is of winning broad acceptance in Akielos to ending slavery, it will be the greatest while the knowledge of the king of Akielo’s time as a slave is still a raw wound, while that king’s survival and seeming return from death still seems like a miracle. In the days of still-unsettled emotion at the beginning of Damen’s reign, ending slavery becomes a way of channeling the people’s fervor, allowing all the shock and outrage and gratitude and shame the people feel upon learning his story to be converted into action.

It is also probably for the best that the people of Akielos do not associate the end of slavery with growing Veretian influence in Akielon affairs.

When the project to end slavery succeeds, it is in the eyes of both kings a monumental triumph. If I do nothing else of worth during my reign, Damen thinks, I can nonetheless be proud of my achievements, having accomplished this.

As things stand, though, Damen has other plans as well. And as he begins the process of moving Akielos towards unification with Vere, he finds he has a steeper uphill battle ahead of him now than before. There is talk that the young king is trying to change too much, too fast. Overconfident, perhaps. There are enough of Kastor’s more subtle supporters left at court to become a focus point for the murmurs of discontent that arise. Damen’s throne is hardly in danger, but building support for his policies is increasingly a matter of strategic effort rather than easy assurance. 

Unfortunately, Laurent’s presence at court has a tendency to exacerbate these weaknesses. When Laurent attends meetings with the kyroi, he becomes a proxy for criticism the kyroi would not dare direct at Damen himself. In one meeting concerning defense against Vaskian raids, the pace of the meeting slows to a crawl as the kyroi present Laurent with objection after objection. They argue with Laurent, try to pick open holes in his logic, even ask for confirmation his sources of information are reliable and his calculations correct. Damen would be outraged on Laurent’s behalf, except that Laurent is clearly unbothered by their rudeness. He seems to be enjoying himself even, sidestepping their traps easily and demolishing each objection almost as quickly as it’s raised. He’s anticipated nearly every one of the arguments the kyroi fling at him, Damen notices. So instead, Damen sits back and watches appreciatively as Laurent wins endless battles of words. 

In private, after the meeting ends, Nikandros is livid. “They have no business speaking to a king like that,” he says. “Even a foreign one. To ask you if you were certain about the timing—they had no place—”

Laurent is silent for a while, reassessing, as Nikandros paces the room. “That wasn’t normal political discourse, then,” he says finally. “Akielon protocol does not allow for direct critique of a king’s line of reasoning.” 

“You let people speak to you that way in your own country?” Nikandros says, amazed. 

Laurent shrugs noncommittally, but Damen has attended enough meetings with the Veretian council and nobility to know that yes, this sort of back-and-forth is relatively common in Vere. And not merely a product of Laurent’s previously-tarnished reputation with the court, but instead a result of the different ways Veretians demonstrate power and deference. 

But later, after Nikandros has left, Laurent says, “I am a weakness to you here in more ways than I thought.” He bites his lip.

“I did not think you minded their questioning,” Damen says.

Laurent says, “I knew, being here, that more people would claim that I wield undue influence over you. That some would dismiss our ideas as too Veretian, that some would whisper that you were thinking with your cock. But most of those people would be saying as much anyway even if I were not in Ios in person.

“But by being here, in person, I have become a proxy for all the criticism they would make of you, and cannot. They can criticize me, and in criticizing me they can make you appear weak. Perhaps I should return to Marlas.”

There is a truth to Laurent’s words, for all that Damen’s mind rebels against it. Knowing now the typical deference afforded a king in policy meetings, Laurent can adjust his own behavior. Damen knows without any doubt that Laurent, if he wanted to, could make any man who questions him instantly regret being born.

But he will be a proxy for criticism not just in meetings, where he is present to defend himself, but in every conversation resentful nobles have with each other. Kastor’s former supporters will complain of Laurent, instead of Damen, and nobles who would never dare criticize Damen will feel comfortable joining in. The more Laurent is present in Ios, the more he is seen to have a direct hand in any particular issue, the more policies the court will find it safe to disparage.  

Damen could agree, could let Laurent return to Marlas and remain in Ios alone. They could correspond by letter, could still shape policy together at a distance. It could work that way. It might even work better that way. And yet—

“You should stay,” Damen says. Whatever the tradeoffs, it’s worth it to have Laurent here, to have Laurent in meetings observing the kyroi’s behavior himself, to be able to consult with him every day, to be able to spend evenings together making plans and picking their way through problems. 

Laurent raises an eyebrow, but some of the tension is already leaving his shoulders. “I work better when you’re here,” Damen says. “The kyroi will have to get used to you.”

*    *    *

There is a set of reasons Laurent uses with the Veretian court to argue in favor of alliance: easier and more lucrative trade, a relaxing of border defenses that allows greater resource use elsewhere, cultural exchange that will improve Veretian knowledge of medicine, engineering, crafts. And it is true that there are indeed advantages of unification for Vere. But Laurent sees on the faces of the Council and the more politically-inclined nobility, at times, that they know, as Laurent himself does, that these advantages are not great enough to justify gambling on such a radical change. It is the same, Damen tells him, with the kyroi. 

With the common people of the two kingdoms, the kings take a different approach. An unlikely romance between enemy princes makes for a good story, and tales spread across the countryside with little effort on Damen and Laurent’s part. Before long, seemingly every village poet and traveling minstrel has their own version of the story, all of them full of battles and adventure and heart-wrenching sentimentality. The common people of Akielos and Vere know the truth: the kings are bringing the kingdoms together out of love. It’s easy to become invested in their love story. It’s easy to hope for it to have a happy ending. In the north of Vere and the south of Akielos, where the common people can safely assume alliance will have little effect on their own lives, that’s for the most part enough to build broad support for the kings’ plans. 

For the people who live near the border, things are a lot less abstract. The border people have the strongest opinions, both in favor of the alliance and against it. Some are very glad of the chance of a lasting peace. Some are very, very nationalist. But the people of the border are also the closest to the court at Marlas, and thus have the greatest opportunity to see the alliance working, the joint court working. Laurent and Damen are optimistic that distrust and resentment are declining in Delfeur, that casual interactions between Akielons and Veretians are on the rise. 

It will be difficult to build enthusiasm among the nobility for full unification, Laurent knows. He considers, some days, whether it was a mistake to attempt to present them with compelling practical reasons. There is no logic-based way to convince them, because unification is not, at its heart, a decision rooted in logic. He imagines sometimes what it would be like, to tell the court that he is going to unite Vere and Akielos because he is madly in love. The idea is amusing, and in equal parts frightening and tempting in its vague transgressiveness. He’s not really sure he can carry off such a thing convincingly, for all that it is the truth: he has not yet lost his reputation as icy-blooded. And if he could convince them, well. He has only barely lost his reputation as petty and selfish. He would not like to give the court reason to once again heed his uncle’s words.

Still, he and Damen have undeniably learned the importance of emotion in politics. When it comes time to transition from alliance to unification, they plan to draw upon the reservoirs of nationalist and expansionist fervor that had persisted in Akielos and Vere for centuries and had been cultivated so strongly by Theomedes and Aleron. The dream of empire still sleeps in each court. Damen and Laurent plan to wake that dream, to persuade their people that in unifying with their historic enemy, they are not losing their national identity but becoming part of something greater. Returning to a former greatness that was always their destiny.

“And then some meddlesome baron will probably come up and start lecturing you that restoring the Artesian Empire for the first time in a thousand years is increasing the incidental expenses of tax collection by six and a half percent,” Damen says, trying to hide his smile. 

“And it would serve me right, too, I suppose you mean,” Laurent says, smiling too. 

*    *    *

“A trying day, love?” Damen asks when Laurent enters their chambers one night, as Laurent had somehow known he would. Laurent’s posture, he fancies, is straight-backed as ever, but Damen can always spot the tension Laurent tries not to show. 

“Lords Becquet and Merault and Lady Daumont still oppose the new legal code,” he says, hand absentmindedly beginning work loosening the laces on one sleeve. Damen has crossed the room already, is starting work undoing the laces on the back of Laurent’s jacket. “They’ve got the ear of Councillor Mahiet, and I fear they may convince her to change her mind again and withdraw her support.” As king, Laurent no longer requires the Council to approve his actions, but their support is still important to lend his policies an air of legitimacy. 

“Their objection was that there was too large a difference in penalty for violent and non-violent offenses?” Damen says, and Laurent sighs.

“So they claim. I met with Merault and Daumont today to discuss their objections, and they have little real interest in amendments or adjustments. Their real objection, I suspect, is that the proposed system is too Akielon.” It’s a setback, and against the background of the ongoing situation with the Toutainais nobles, a disappointing one.

The proposed legal code is, by design, neither excessively Akielon nor excessively Veretian. In cases where Veretian and Akielon laws had been too disparate to be blended smoothly and retain any kind of internally-consistent logic, there are sections with distinctly more influence from one country or the other. But care had been taken, both by the kings and their advisors in drafting the overall structure of the code and the bureaucrats who had written the actual language, to create a system that prioritized neither country’s existing laws. 

They had also sought to create a system that was more modern, easier to understand, and more just than the existing systems, with the unfortunate result that some new policies originating from neither Akielon nor Veretian law were occasionally mistaken for additional foreign influence. 

“Too Akielon,” Damen repeats. “If only my nobles felt the same way.” Laurent lets out a sigh that is half laugh.

“It’s a thornier problem to solve,” Laurent says. The legal code needs broad support in order to succeed, from the thousands of nobles, mayors, town headsmen, and bailiffs who will be responsible for following it as they mete out justice across two kingdoms. “For many of my nobles, any Akielon influence is too much, and no amount of reasoning will convince them that I am not being somehow taken advantage of.”

“The problem is not that the code is too Akielon-influenced, only that they perceive it to be so,” Damen says, musing. He lifts the open jacket from Laurent’s shoulders. 

“You want to make a spurious proposal so that I can publicly shoot you down?” Laurent guesses. They’ve used this maneuver and its inverse before.

“It’s worked pretty well in the past.” 

“We need Akielon nobles to support and enforce the new laws too.”

“Yes, but the code seems more popular there at the moment. The nobility appreciate the simplified approach to entail and inheritance laws. And Veretian influence in the new code has effectively lowered Akielon agricultural taxes.”

“Yes, I suppose if your spurious proposal is an attempt to keep your nobles’ taxes high, avarice will temper their resentment of me somewhat,” Laurent says. A pause. “It may still make you look weak at your own court, for a time.” It’s becoming easier for Laurent, to admit his own weaknesses, to ask for help, but it’s always hardest when that help comes at a cost for Damen.

“I’m not worried about that at the moment, not so soon after destroying that pirate haven that was menacing Isthima.”

Laurent is silent for a while, considering. “Well then, I will await your proposed changes with pleasure and profound skepticism,” Laurent says. Damen laughs, and they continue getting ready for bed.

“And Damen?” Laurent says, after they’re tucked under the blankets together. “Thank you.”

*    *    *

Laurent does lose the support of the Toutainais nobles. Damen loses the support of the kyros of Kesus and much of the nobility from Aegina. Sometimes almost as concerning as the supporters they lose is the supporters that they do have. They each have untrustworthy allies—people whose power at court they would very much rather minimize, but who throw themselves into organizing support for the alliance in order to try to make themselves essential. Chelaut, who is far less innocent of the regent’s plans than he would have the court believe, retains his council seat by making himself one of the earliest and most vocal supporters of the alliance. In the same way, Damen finds himself publicly overlooking Heston’s former support for Kastor’s faction after Heston begins work organizing support for stronger ties with Vere.

For each mote of progress they make towards unification, it sometimes seems, there is another trade-off or setback. Mostly they weather the challenges well together. Often, the challenges bring them even closer together. They learn more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses and manners of thinking, grow to appreciate each other more, learn to rely upon each other without question. But there are nonetheless times when they struggle to understand each other’s point of view, days when they bicker constantly about one policy or another, days when they fight bitterly about them. 

Worst is when distance or work has kept them from really seeing each other for days or weeks, and then a fight ruins the long-anticipated time they do have to see each other. On days like that, Laurent hates the unification project for stealing so much of the time he and Damen might have spent together, and then poisoning what time they have left. 

There are times when Laurent has been alone in Arles or Marlas for so many weeks or months he finds himself settling into routine, finds himself growing half-convinced that he could be content like this: Ruling alone. Living a quiet, useful life, returning each night to empty rooms with a book for company.

And sometimes, Laurent finds himself thinking that if this could be enough on its own, maybe unification won’t be worth it. Maybe it would be better to leave things as they are, the kingdoms apart but at peace. For him and Damen to rule their separate courts, lives simpler without the constant uphill struggles that come from strengthening the alliance. To use the leisure that uncomplicated reigns would bring to see each other a few times each year, their time together limited by distance but unmarred by stressful days and fights over policies and strategy. Perhaps that could be enough. Perhaps that would be for the best. 

And then he sees Damen again, and knows that this is worth it. A lantern may be considered bright in the darkness, Laurent thinks, but it would never compare to the sun. The contentment he might have had with an easier reign alone is nothing compared to the happiness he has ruling alongside Damen. Anyway, it’s not in his nature or in Damen’s to turn their back on a commitment once made or a challenge once taken on.

In the darkness of the Ios palace baths, sleep deprived and dehydrated and losing blood, Laurent and Damen had made a choice. Now, with ample time to consider, in the comfort of study and council chamber and throne room, they make it again and again and again. It will be one kingdom, someday.

[xanderbradeshaw]

Hey anyone who follows and cares,

I don't usually post things like this and I'm not even sure there are many people that even follow me, since teapot is generally better at this social media stuff. Anyway, there have been a lot of comments about the slowness of updates etc with many fics lately and the delays are because both teapot and I have some stuff going on in our personal lives.

I don't generally like to detail my personal life on the internet or even to fans, but at this point, things are very dire and I'm not really sure where else to vent this information. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for exactly, support or understanding, comraderie, advice, dunno... My wife and I are on the brink of homelessness and not because we have done anything particular aside trust her mother who invited us to live with her in Jan/ Feb of last year to assist in renovating her house to prepare for selling in the coming years and so we could all save on expenses. My wife and I pay all utilities and the internet at the house. We do not have a fu functioning apartment (ie: no kitchen, no bathroom of our own) we have been sharing the bathroom and making due with hotplates and toaster oven for the last year+. We did landscaping and had plans for more, started some of the Reno but it's been slow progress mostly because of the pandemic.

Anyway, MIL suddenly decided she was ready to date a few months ago and started acting reckless. I had to miss a week of work because she had to get a neg covid test before I could return to my childcare center because she decided to "hook up" with some guy.... I'm not shaming her for hooking up just for being so fucking reckless and stupid about it that it cost me wages. Then she began a relationship with a catfish. It is now roughly three ish months since and she is suddenly desperate to sell her house. She announced to us in May that she wanted to sell it while our daycare was on a month long quarantine... I have still not gotten a paycheck yet since we have only been back to work three weeks.

In the time since she first announced that she was selling the house, she has been hostile and secretive and fails to relay imperative information to us. She has gone from simply considering selling the house in a few months, to selling the house in a few months, to getting a realtor and putting it on the market immediately. Then from 60days to thirty days to negotiable transfer which means she literally could sell it tomorrow and throw us out on the street. This is what catfish do, her behaviour is right in line with documented cases with others like her. And honestly with all she has done over the years to my wife, I don't care if she loses everything to the shitty catfish, but my wife and I are literally hanging by a thread here.

We plan to move out west where teapot is. It's a great opportunity for us to make more money, have some stability and hang out with teapot in person. But now we are just unstable and we have no time to do literally anything. We don't get paid until next week and it will not even be a full paycheck as we get a month pay at a time and since we have not even been back to work that long, it won't be as much. We need time and money. We just don't know what to do anymore...

And that's why I haven't had time to update...

UPDATE!

She's told us to leave today...

[boldlyanxious]

None the Wiser 5

Masterlist

All fic masterlist

Bio-dad Bruce -meeting there Justice League

Marinette and Bruce walked around for a bit but they ended up at a different park. During the walk they kept the conversation very light. He made a phone call when they sat down to have food delivered after checking her preferences. She didn't even know that places would deliver to a park but she still was under the impression based on everything she knew about him that money wasn't a concern for him. He did seem to put her comfort as to priority, including eating outdoors where she wouldn't feel trapped by the location or too near her house where they might be seen and people wanting an explanation.

"From what I gather, Damian made an attempt to see you earlier and hopefully apologized." Bruce said.

"He came by my lycée as I was heading to lunch. He's a real sweet heart."

"Damian? Never thought I'd hear him described like that."

"Yeah. Like those candies for Valentine's day. You get really excited that you got candy but when you bite into it you realize it's chalk."

Bruce probably shouldn't have chosen that moment to be taking a drink. As she finished her statement he let out a laugh when he was attempting to swallow and it took a moment for him to regain his composure and stop coughing. He spoke once he was able to.

"Damian came to me 7 years ago. He was raised much differently than many. He was not taught to consider the feelings of others unless it presented him with an advantage."

"He told me he was there to apologize."

"That's great!"

"That was his apology. He didn't have anything else to add."

"Okay, less great." Bruce said. "Perhaps we should focus on something else. You looked very excited earlier. Did you get news? Can you tell me?"

Marinette's eyes lit up when she spoke, "I did. I entered a competition a few weeks ago. I just heard back that I'm a finalist."

That's amazing. Was it a fashion competition?"

"Yeah. Put on by some of the fashion schools in the city and open to lycée students in Paris and the surrounding areas. They are having a fashion show as part of the competition."

"Is it open to the public? I would like to be there."

Her pause before she answered hung in the air. But after considering she gave him the information about the fashion show. He told her he wasn't planning on connecting her to him unless that was something she was ready for. But even then, he very hesitantly asked if he could take a picture with her before they headed in their separate ways. They got together close as he took a selfie of them that he promised wouldn't go beyond his immediate family.

---

Marinette was floating in a cloud when she headed into school. She had kept her results secret but told Alya she had news. She arrived very early for class but Alya was already there waiting. Marinette was actually surprised by how many people were there more than 20 minutes before classes started, maybe that is why she always seemed to be behind in the gossip. She usually only showed up soon enough to get to her locker and say hi to a couple people as she headed to class.

As Marinette was rushing over to the group she did a quick twirl to show how elated she was. Luckily she didn't fall over after but the delay made Alya impatient to know her big news, even if she suspected the topic. Marinette held up her envelope but it wasn't immediately recognizable as from the fashion competition because it was a much fancier envelope.

"What is it? Are those your results? Lila's didn't look like that. She showed me hers yesterday. I didn't even know she entered."

"This is it." Marinette said. "I'm a finalist. It says there were over 500 submissions and they chose 50 finalists that have a chance at the summer program."

"That is great. Lila's said she was chosen but they might have to do it remotely for her since she is traveling over the summer. I hope you are chosen for it too."

"They didn't mention that in my letter. They showed the category breakdown for the presentations. Do you know what time she is presenting hers on the runway?"

"It didn't list a time. I kinda thought that the fashion show was for the people who didn't get into the program."

"It says in my letter they will announce at the end of the show. It makes it sound like it should be the 12 who were accepted being announced at midnight."

They walked on to class but Marinette wondered how Lila was going to fake the rest of the winning entry. She probably didn't even enter or got in the lowest group. Marinette had long since given up questioning anything Lila said. She still thought Adrien was wrong about the approach that he was taught to use with the press but being in a larger school with a larger variety of students took the pressure off and Marinette was able to deal with her easier or less often anyway.

---

Ladybug and Chat Not met at the Eiffel Tower, but this wasn't a typical meeting. They had heard from the Justice League again and they wanted to make adjustments to their previous arrangement. Their first contact had been after they had been using their miraculi for a few months. They were given a way to get ahold of one of the members in Paris but they were staying out of it unless requested since they were using the same variety of magic.

They traveled together across the rooftops so they would arrive together as partners. This meeting was not with a low level go between like they met before. They brought in Batman and Wonder Woman. Whatever they had said before about trusting Ladybug and Chat Noir to handle the situation had changed drastically. They split up as they arrived and did a sweep of the rooftops. Ladybug waved to the lookout across from her who gave a little wave back. Chat Noir blew a kiss to another but the recipient was not amused.

They landed on the ground near to an exit by foot and way to get to a roof top easily. They did not expect the Justice League to be a danger to them but being prepared and having a plan was their only safe play. The Justice League group had 4 teens introduced and Ladybug and Chat Noir introduced themselves.

Wonder Woman took charge of the meeting explaining that while they had initially planned to leave them as they were, news had reached them that their mentor, the Guardian, was no longer around and many of their allies had been publicly revealed.

They talked for a time recommending that the 4 younger members, Kid Flash, Robin, Wonder Girl and Superboy, join them to assist for the time being and that they would reassess later. The Miraculous users were grateful for the help, Ladybug especially had felt overwhelmed by the addition of the guardianship. They did draw the line at revealing themselves as requested.

"I believe you when you say you are here to help, but secrecy has been out to priority aside from recovering the misused miraculi." Ladybug said.

"We think there could be many benefits to knowing more about each other than the mask you wear." Batman said.

"I'm gonna have to follow her lead on this one. I would love to know who she is but you guys are all new and we know nothing about you." Chat Noir weighed in.

"You do not even know who your partner is?" asked Wonder Girl.

"That seems excessively unwise," Robin said.

"I have considered changing that since taking on the guardianship. I think many things could have been done differently." Ladybug said.

"You question your mentor?" Wonder Woman said.

"It's hard to determine whether changes would have been an improvement. But for now we will consider revealing ourselves once we know you better. The magic is too powerful to take such a risk with a new friendship."

That answer seemed to appease everyone. It was agreed that they would take turns working with other members on different nights so they would have an idea how they worked and thought before there was the idea of a battle. The Parisians also guided then to the best apps for alerts and places for additional information they might want.

**I have no plans to go super anti-Lila or lie reveal but mentions of her behavior send to fit. Actually I have very little plan for the characters/active that aren't directly related to the next few prompts. I'm just making it up as I go and hoping it works

Next

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[heybeybey]

Did I ask you the peaceful rivetra cabin one honey with a slice of nsfw ?? ( if I did already ignore this 😭)

Not yet! @himebee-5 And I'm glad you requested this! Anyway, you know how long my HC posts are so the actual cabin headcanon comes in halfway through (this is 1,454 words wtf) haha

This is 3 full cups of honey, a dash of dramatic angst in the beginning and two teaspoons of NSFW btw.

Hope you'll enjoy!!

Rivetra Cabin +++ (you’ll understand what the + is later on) Canonverse AU

Petra lived through the 57th failed expedition but both her and Levi were permanently injured. Petra came out with a spinal injury and while the doctors did say that she's going to make a partial recovery, her mobility won't be the same as before. 

Levi, on the other hand, lost his left leg. Both have no choice but to retire from the Survey Corps.

I want to add a dash of drama so in this Canonverse AU, the Military Police are forcing Levi to go back to the Underground. 

His temporary citizenship above ground is revoked since he's not going to be a Scout anymore and he wasn't able to fulfill the required service years needed to become a permanent resident (this is something that I just came up with lol)

Erwin tried to pull some strings but even he can't do much since the Survey Corps' reputation is tarnished at this point (same as what happened in the show). The MP tried multiple times to escort Levi out the Survey Corps HQ but Erwin and Hange always finds an excuse to delay it a bit (ex: wrapping things up regarding his dead squad, recovering for a month or two until he can be escorted back etc.)

Petra, stressed and panicking over the fact that her captain will be dragged back to the Underground, frantically begs Levi to run away with her.

Note that they don't have a relationship (yet) and Levi was surprised at her suggestion since Petra lives a decent life as a citizen born in Wall Rose. 

He refuses and said that he can run away by himself if needed but Petra argues that now that he's disabled, he needs someone who will support him.

Our girl got bolder since she knows that they're not really Captain and Subordinate anymore.

She was persistent and a day before they know the MPs will come knocking again, he gives in and they made a run for it.

Erwin and Hange def. arranged a few things for them and Erwin even expedited their last salary

They jumped from one cheap apartment to another just to escape the MPs and finally found a cabin they can afford on a slightly rundown village somewhere north and towards the edge of Wall Rose

It wasn't the best village to live but definitely still better than the Underground (or in jail, in Petra's case since technically she just helped a criminal escape)

Few years passed (let's say their universe had a happy ending that Isayama won't probably give us 😭) and the MP gave up on Levi's case.

Petra and Levi live a quiet life together :3 Both of them needs some support when walking so they do have a crutch (for Levi) and a wheelchair (sometimes for Petra) on hand.

Levi used his last salary and savings to open a small tea shop in the village while they used Petra's for their monthly expenses during the first year. The tea shop eventually was able to support them once it started picking up.

Levi thought he'd hate not being able to serve in the Scouts but was surprised that he did prefer this domestic bliss instead.

He usually prepares the tea while Petra serves the customers in their tea shop.

They'd support each other in cleaning the cabin til it's spotless.

Petra buys groceries every week while Levi focuses more on cooking and laundry for the both of them.

It wasn't easy living together at first since we all know how Levi is and since they're really equals now, Petra doesn't hesitate in speaking her mind anymore. They'd sometimes clash but Levi is the one who often approaches her to apologize and make up.

They both hear news about what's happening and Erwin and Hange sometimes visit them (I want a happy ending for this so Daddy Sasageyo and Hange are both alive ok)

They didn't immediately jump one another btw. They both know that there are already feelings between them but Levi's too emotionally constipated to explore it, much less make it official.

It happened 2 years into living together. Levi was watching Petra sweep the floor and just abruptly said that they should get married.

Petra dropped the broom in shock and her face was absolutely comical. While she and Levi did have a few romantic moments here and there (small but unofficial dates, cheek and forehead kisses given subconsciously), they never talked about an actual relationship.

Levi said that they're already living together anyway and wasn't her dad upset that she's living with a man but not married to said man?

He also remembers the time when they were still in the Scouts and he and his squad were talking about what it might be like to be married since Eld just announced his engagement (rip ☹️)

His only contribution to that conversation btw is "no" when asked if he wanted to get married lol 

Anyway, he remembered how Petra said that she once dreamed about getting married someday and having a happy family. However, at that time, her dream of dedicating her life to the Scouts was more important than settling down and she doesn't plan to retire for many many years.

They were both silent after that and Levi started feeling embarrassed. He tried to take it back, saying that of course, he understands that she doesn't want to since he is in his mid-30s and she'd probably find a better, able-bodied, younger man in the village instead.

Before he even finishes his apology, Petra said yes :3 (Girl has been fantasizing about this for years, of course she'll say yes haha)

They did a shotgun wedding that same evening and Levi started trying to find ways to romance her. It's all awkward at best and downright embarrassing attempts every single time but Petra wouldn't want it any other way.

Petra, being a romantic at heart, wanted a wedding dance and Levi, being a sap, gave in. They had their own wedding dance of sorts in their cabin the best they could with their conditions.

When they got the cabin, they shared one room but have separate beds. The next day after they got married, Levi found Petra pushing the bed together and she said they're married now and he usually climbs on her bed at the middle of the night whenever he has nightmares anyway.

The first ones to know about their shotgun marriage is Petra's father, Erwin and Hange. Hange dragged Erwin to their cabin the very next day after they received the letter.

Mr. Ral wasn't happy at first that Levi didn't ask for his permission (Petra scolded her father for being too old-fashioned) but he eventually told Levi that he approves as long as he's making Petra happy.

Erwin and Hange brought wedding gifts that can help them with their cabin (new cleaning materials, something for their fireplace and since Hange can be crazy, she also brought baby materials. Most are storybooks and onesies haha)

They weren’t planning on having kids but then Levi started reading the children storybooks that Hange brought and Petra noticed that he’d sometimes get this look in his face

We all know Levi would make a great father!!!!

She asked him to stop using protection one night and after three months of trying, Petra did end up pregnant :3

Now for the spicy HCs 💦

Levi wanted to make sure he does everything the right way for her so yes, they do have a wedding night. It was awkward the first time around but Levi has superb stamina 😏  so they did a few rounds and he got the hang of it the second time around.

After the third round, Petra was begging him if they can go to sleep instead. Levi teased her since she accidentally revealed that she's been fantasizing about fucking her captain for years. Now she's giving up?

Okay, that challenged her and they did one last round lol

Turns out Levi being a clean freak doesn't end with brooms, rags and mops! He's also great with aftercare. 

Since Petra didn't have the energy to shower any longer (also taking into consideration her spine's condition), Levi cleaned her afterwards while she just lay there smiling stupidly in contentment.

Sometimes, aftercare ends in more sex though since Levi can't help himself and he starts teasing her again.

...Petra got dicked down on every furniture in their cabin btw. Their favorite is the wooden living room table because it’s in front of the fireplace. 

[phynali]

so not to ruminate on things that vex me, but the past 2 or so months have been kinda shit, and i’m trucking along and there absolutely are high points and good things and joys that balance some of this out, but i need to vent out some of the negative emotions somewhere to get ‘em out. so i guess i’m doing that here because - 

we’re in lockdown#6 where i live (state of victoria) and it’s hard, this yo-yo of restrictions and swinging in and out of one lockdown after another. 

for those who understandably won’t know, what we call lockdown here means not just restaurant and commercial closures and mandatory working from home unless you’re in an industry where that’s impossible -- it also means no guests (0) inside you’re home unless you’re both living alone and single or else romantic partners, it means not leaving your home at all except for one of 4-5 necessary reasons, not being outside for more than 2hrs per day even to exercise, and not going more than 5km from your home unless required for work/medical/etc required reasons.

it’s intense. we spent (i think) 128 days in this degree of lockdown in 2020, never mind how many we spent in other forms of restrictions and working from home. and we’ve been back in it four (4) times in 2021 already. in-out-in-out-in-out - 

it’s taking a toll on the mental health of every person i know. we get weekly emails with wellbeing and resilience tips from my job -- not just “be productive or else” capitalism but heartfelt ones from wellbeing officers with copies of articles like this one on languishing from the NYT, acknowledging we’re all struggling and directing us to the plethora of wellbeing resources our workplace is trying to provide, not only to us but reminding us they offer it to our families too.

i’m one of the lucky ones. i’m really not trying to wallow here or to pretend otherwise. i appreciate that i can work from home, even though i can’t focus when i do and it this interacts with my adhd to fuck my productivity. even if i’m so behind and delayed it feels like i’ve lost 12-18 months worth of work and it will have long-term ramifications on my career -- even so, i still i have a job. i still get paid. and i even kept my job, a bit by the skin of my teeth but i did, when my sector downsized last year. yes, the way my employer went about lay offs left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth (my own included), but i made it through. 

and my sector, while affected, is by no means the worst of the collateral damage.

the yo-yo of lockdowns is taking a very very real toll on industries like hospitality, tourism, commerce. and the economy does have indirect effects on health and mental health as well. my friend, a waitress, was on her way to work the evening shift at a restaurant when she got the call about the latest lockdown. she had to turn around and go home because the announcement came just hours before the lockdown was imposed, and every place suddenly had to close by 8pm. bye bye evening shift. so much of the government support for these industries has dried up, has been inadequate. 

lockdowns save lives. i don’t begrudge my state for imposing one except that yes -- i’m resentful we’re here again with only six cases. i can be both accepting and grateful and also pissed and tired and more all at once. 

even more than the latest lockdown, i’m pissed about the yo-yo. that we went into lockdown in june, came out in july, went back in in july, came back out in july, are going back in now, in the first week of august. three lockdown/re-openings in 10 weeks, as if this rollercoaster doesn’t completely incapacitate our ability to plan or prepare for anything more than a week out, more than a day out -- in this case, more than a few hours out. 4pm the lockdown was announced, with an 8pm start time. as if that doesn’t have more insidious consequences on individuals and industries than a more clearly articulated and consistent approach. as if all the restaurants that got to open up this week didn’t purchase large food orders for this weekend that will spoil because they were given 4 hours notice to close their doors.

that’s the part i hate, right now more than the lockdowns themselves. consumer sentiment was at a high in april, optimism was everywhere. people felt good, and like we had a plan forward. now -- well, now my job is sending me emails about how normal and okay it is that i might be ‘languishing’ because aren’t we all?

and i absolutely do begrudge my federal government, and i’m angry with them, and this is part of why:

but i also accept, to some extent, that these decisions have all been made in difficult circumstances, and i’m not really about to pretend i could do any better. 

at the same time, australia’s vaccine rollout is among the slowest and lowest at least within OECD countries. i know that’s partly because we’ve managed the keep cases low and therefore we are prioritized less when it comes to who needs the vaccines most (and thus who is earlier in line to be able to purchase) among other geo-political reasons i won’t get into, but it still very much sucks. our timeline and ability to move forward and ability to stop having lockdowns requires a mostly-vaccinated population, and that’s not something we’ll have anytime soon.

and i am a visa-holder here and my family is back in canada and with our current border restrictions leaving to visit is honestly is not an option because i wouldn’t be able to return, to work. i’m managing that distance okay most of the time despite my homesickness and frustration but my partner’s parents are older and his mother’s health just isn’t amazing and it’s weighing on him a lot. 

a phd student i work with just had a parent die in another country while stuck here, had to drop everything to return, is devastated by not being by their parent’s side when it happened because it came on sudden, and now won’t be able to come back into australia after, will have to finish their thesis remotely from abroad. stories like that are becoming commonplace in certain circles, here. this student is not the first or only person i know who has been in that exact situation in the past year.

it’s enraging, and upsetting, and instills a sense of helplessness because -- there’s nothing that can really be done about it. there’s no good answer, but it’s scary to think of what could happen. i know it scares my husband. if his mother’s health suddenly dips -- does he drop everything and leave? how can he not? would i go with him or hold the fort here? what ramifications does that have either way?

right now, we’re in the first stages of getting permanent residency, my job is putting in the nomination, and this is one of those awesome high-points i mentioned. it’s a very much needed sense of security in my career and my future in this country. but while a PR application is pending and under review, you can’t leave the country, even in pre-covid times. it takes months to get the application fully nominated, accepted, then submitted, and months on months to process.

in january 2020 we had agreed that for xmas 2020 we’d return home to canada. obviously the world changed and we quickly determined that wouldn’t be the case. we pushed that plan back to july-aug 2021, then to october 2021, xmas 2021. my partner’s sister asked him last week if we started making plans, booking things for xmas, was calling to check that we’d had our second jabs. he had to explain the situation to her, that we aren’t even eligible for our first vaccine yet, that we aren’t holding out any real hope of visiting, not this year, not until mid-next.

anyway - i’m just. languishing, i guess, if that’s the word for it after all. i know it’s not the same as depression -- i’ve had episodes of that, been treated for it in different ways. this is and feels different, even if there are obvious similarities. whatever to call it, it sucks, and i hate it. and i hate the other lows and anxieties and crap i’ve been dealing with in the past few months as well that didn’t make it into this post about covid. crap with work, with friends, with goddamn car rentals of all stupid things. crap that’s making me anxious and crap that just needs processing. crap that is, ultimately, massively exacerbated because lockdowns turn us into little rats gnawing on the bars of our cages.

and i guess i just needed to talk about it somewhere, to organize my thoughts and free up some headspace (emotion space?) currently being used to hold these thoughts and feelings in place. i kind of hate posting personal crap like this and always get the urge to delete but i also have a hard time organising my thoughts if i don’t write them out with this intent to post. sort of want to go outside and scream at god, sort of want to phone up a friend and yell at him for an hour for being an exhausting ass, sort of want to be alone for a day to curl up under a blanket with a movie that’ll make me cry because raging at the universe is always so much easier when i’m alone and unobserved. but i guess since those aren’t especially kind or feasible i’ll post this instead.

anyway - if you read to the end of this for any reason, i’m not trying to be maudlin, and there’s really no need to respond. it’s just a feelings dump, sucking some of the poison out, not really much different than journalling but i’ve always been better at that online than on paper. 

[mlqctranslations]

Lucien 贪恋 SP Date

Reposted from my instagram account, @mlqc_translations!

Chapter 1

The inside of the traditionally styled room was warm and dry.

I changed into a yukata and sat down on the tatami, taking a deep breath as I tapped the news notification on my phone-- "The announcement of the Kelawo award list has been postponed. Can the genius scientist Lucien Xu become the youngest winner in history?" The large bolded words on the news notification were dark and obvious. ......Postponed? I paused, surprised, and then immediately tapped on the notification to find out more. "...Today, the most renowned award of the scientific realm--the Kelawo Life Science Award, is about to release their winners list. This caught many people's attention both nationally and internationally." "Scientist Professor Lucien Xu's innovative work in the neuroscience department has convinced many to clamour for his nomination." "However, according to the information disclosed, the requirements for this year has changed, and there may be strong competitors in the mix." "The Kelawo Award Committee has also recently announced that, since the opinions of the judges were divided, the release of award list will be delayed until this afternoon today..." I swiped through the news article, wrinkling my brow more and more as I scrolled down. I was so focused on my phone that I didn't notice someone walking towards me. ??: Why are you still looking at the news?

Lucien spoke as he covered my bare legs with a blanket, his gaze sweeping over the screen of my phone. Lucien: You said you invited me to go on this vacation so I could relax and forget about my work... Lucien: But you've been staring at your phone this whole time. He paused, and he looked slightly dejected and sad. Lucien: Does the Professor Lucien in the news appeal more to you than the one in real life? I was momentarily dumbfounded, and then quickly turned off my phone. MC: Of course not! I just...coincidentally came across this news article. I accidentally tapped on it. MC: And...I was mostly looking at the weather report anyways. I widened my eyes in an attempt to seem more convincing. MC: Look, it's snowing so much today. The Innkeeper even suggested that we try the hot springs another time... MC: But according to the weather report, it might stop snowing later. So we might still be able to try it out today! Lucien was silent for a second, and then let out a soft chuckle, nodding his head. Lucien: Mn, it looks like I misunderstood. I didn't think you'd be so thoughtful and considerate. MC: Of course I have to be! It's rare that we both have time off. I was looking forwards to this vacation a lot. It was the truth. In the past few days, Lucien and I were both so busy that we didn't even have time to share a meal together. That's why I chose a hot springs resort. I wanted to stay with Lucien in a room together, relaxing and spending our time with each other peacefully. I raised my head and took Lucien's hand. MC: You've been so busy with your research these past few weeks. You haven't been resting well. MC: Leave the traveling planning and arrangements to me. Your only job is to relax and enjoy the vacation. Lucien: Alright. The corners of his mouth turned up in a faint smile. The sunlight streaming through the window landed on him, coating his body in a soft glow. Lucien: Then...I'll leave it all to you? MC: Yep! Leave it to me. I glanced at the time on my phone, and an idea popped into my head. I raised my head and spoke to Lucien. MC: Since the luggage has all been unpacked and put away, you can go change now! Lucien nodded and walked towards the door. I took this opportunity to pick up my phone secretly, planning to finish reading the news article I just closed. Lucien: Oh, and one more thing. MC: W-What is it? I didn't expect Lucien to turn around and scrambled to hide the phone behind my back. Lucien's gaze flicked back and forth between the phone and my face. He seemed to have something to say, but he just gave a soft chuckle. Lucien: Nothing much, I just wanted to tell you...

Lucien: I'm also looking forwards to this vacation with you a lot.

Chapter 2

While Lucien was changing, I quietly sneaked out, waiting by the door. As expected, an attendant came walking in my direction, holding a rectangular wooden box in her hands. Attendant: Miss, the hotel owner's wife asked me to bring this to you. Attendant: As for the other package you ordered...we express our apologies. Since the product has to be made fresh, we tried to send a driver to pick it up just now, but it's snowing too heavily for them to get down the mountain. MC: That's okay. Thank you for your hard work. Please give my thanks to the owner's wife. I took the box from her and returned to the room, my heart overwhelmed with a flurry of complicated emotions. This is the gift I prepared before we even set off for the resort. I had originally planned to surprise Lucien with it when the Kelawo award results are announced. I was not expecting the award requirements to change. The Kelawo Award announcements were postponed, and my carefully devised plan was disrupted. I stared at the box in my hands, and the thought of a result that I've never expected before appeared in my mind. What if...... My heart sank. Now, I wasn't even sure if this celebration could happen at all... Lucien: What are you thinking about? I turned towards the direction of his voice, and then froze. Lucien was wearing a dark-coloured yukata. The loose collar of the clothing exposed his chest and collarbones. He leaned against the doorframe, looking more casual and relaxed compared to his normal state. His gaze found the wooden box in my hands, and I could see a hint of curiosity in his expression. Lucien: What's that? MC: Um, this...... I searched my mind for a proper explanation. Just then, his phone rang and our conversation was interrupted. Lucien looked at the glowing screen of his phone and wrinkled his brow slightly. After a brief pause, he answered the call. Lucien: Hello? Lucien: ......Yes. His tone was light, but his expression grew serious. The news article from before flashed through my head, and I couldn't help feeling a bit anxious. Lucien: My apologies, I'm on vacation right now. I'm afraid I don't have time for that. Lucien: I look forward to working with you next time. His voice was calm and soft, and he immediately hung up after that sentence. I was caught off guard by the swift action. I looked at him quizzically. Before I could say anything else, Lucien spoke up. Lucien: It's from HuanQiu News. I widened my eyes. HuanQiu News is a well-known weekly magazine in China that mainly reports international issues and major events. It has great influence and fame. MC: And they want to work with you? Lucien: Yeah, they want to interview me. MC: Wow, really? That's great! I felt relieved when I heard that it wasn't the bad news I was expecting, and set the box down on the table beside me. MC: It's such an influential magazine. If you accept their invitation, you can let more people know about your research results. Lucien looked at me, surprised, and then the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. Lucien: Why do you want more people to know? MC: Because......I think...for most people, your research results are just a string of boring, meaningless scientific terms. MC: But I know, you put a lot of work and effort into it. MC: Even if you have the title of "Genius Scientist," your determination and perseverance is no less than anyone else. The memories of the time I spent beside him flashed through my head as I spoke. Because of some small data error, he would have to put the papers of his experiment report--that he spent months working on--into the shredder one by one; He would be unable to hide his joy if he got the desired results for his experiment, even suggesting--somewhat childishly--that we go for a movie to celebrate the occasion. I smiled at Lucien and spoke to him in a lighthearted, playful tone. MC: So, I want you to be rewarded for your efforts...that's probably my only wish. My only selfish wish. Lucien stared at me quietly, and a soft, gentle emotion seemed to slowly melt in his eyes. After a while, he gave a quiet laugh and smiled in resignation. Lucien: Dummy. He reached out and gathered me into his arms. Lucien: I declined their invitation. MC: Huh? Why? Lucien didn't answer, and instead, gave a soft chuckle. Lucien: Do you want to know what my selfish wish is? Lucien: You always joke that my time and energy is endless and never used up, but that's not true. They have their limits, too. Lucien: It's just that, I need to save them up and use it all on the person who's most important to me. He paused, gently rubbing the top of my head with his chin. Lucien: This is our vacation. I want to spend it with you, and you alone. I could feel his familiar body temperature on my skin. It felt as if his warmth was slowly seeping into my heart. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around Lucien, wanting to be closer to him and wishing the moment could last longer. MC: Yeah, me too. My gaze landed on the wooden box on the table. I closed my eyes and came to a decision.

MC: Lucien, the belt of your yukata seems to be a little loose. I noticed that the strip of fabric at his waist wasn't tight enough, and subconsciously reached out to help him fix it. MC: Hmm...this doesn't seem to work either...... MC: I'll just help you redo the knot! I untied Lucien's belt, planning to redo it for him. Lucien: It looks like you're very experienced with this. I heard the faint trace of a smile in his voice. I raised my head and met his gaze. Only then did I realize how close and intimate we were. MC: I-I'm not really experienced. It's just that I learned a bit from the attendant when she helped me put my yukata on. MC: Plus, the way girls wear yukata is more complicated than the way guys do. So, tying your belt...it's not very hard for me. I lowered my head, trying to hide my blushing cheeks. Lucien: I see. He nodded and then spread out his arms, allowing me to retie the belt. I tried to concentrate on the task at hand, but the breathing at my neck made it hard to focus. The atmosphere was filled with an indescribable feeling. I pressed my lips together, and when I was about to say something, Lucien spoke. Lucien: I didn't notice before now, but there's a few sentences written on that hanging painting over there. MC: Eh? I raised my head and followed his gaze to the wall behind me. A traditionally styled painting was hanging there. Bright red leaves floated down and landed on the clear spring water. They looked like the flames of a raging fire, dyeing the water around it red with warmth and passion. I hadn't paid much attention to it when I first entered the room. Now that I looked at it carefully, I realized that there really were words written there. I was about to examine the sentences, but Lucien beat me to it and read them out loud. Lucien: "The matters of the gods, never concern the humans." Lucien: "The maple dyes the river red, the flowing waters run deep..."

(I’ll leave the original sentence here, since this is a poem and I might have made some translation errors: 悠悠神代事, 黯黯不曾闻, 枫染龙田川, 潺潺流水深)

MC: I think I've seen these phrases before... MC: Is it from that really famous love song? I turned to look at Lucien quizzically, and he nodded. Lucien: Well, it's definitely filled with lots of emotion. Lucien: I think it's probably here to set the mood for Valentine's Day. That's why the wife of the owner put it here. Lucien: And if you look at the writing...it seems it was added not too long ago. I studied the painting again after Lucien's comment. MC: I didn't expect the owner of this hotel to be so considerate and attentive. It looks like a normal painting if you don't examine it carefully... MC: There was a hidden meaning all along... I tried to feel the emotions hidden in the lines and strokes of the painting. This piece of art, originally just used as a normal hanging painting, now had depth and concealed meaning thanks to the added sentences. My attention was all on the painting when I heard a voice by my ear. Lucien: It looks quite beautiful... Lucien: But, aren't you forgetting something? His gaze landed on the belt in my hands. I realized I still didn't finish tying Lucien's yukata. The fabric was draped loosely over his body. The low neckline fell even lower, and more of his chest was exposed. My face grew even warmer. MC: ...I'll finish it now! I tried to ignore my quickening heartbeat and finished tying Lucien's belt. When I was done, I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. I raised my hand to try and fix the low neckline of the yukata, but to my surprise, I discovered that it was just designed that way. MC: Was, was this neckline always so low?

My voice was quiet. Lucien looked down at his yukata, and then a smile of understanding spread across his face. Lucien: Yes, that's how it was when I first put it on. Lucien: I'm pretty sure all men's yukatas here are in this style. MC: That's strange, I think I remember seeing a different type of yukata on the official website... MC: Unless...this is also part of "setting the mood" for Valentine's Day? In order to cover up my flustered feelings, I spoke in a joking tone. Lucien gave a soft laugh, going along with my jokes. Lucien: Yeah, that's possible. He blinked and seemed to think of something. He bent down, leaning close to my ear, and spoke to me in a soft voice. Lucien: I think... Lucien: This counts as setting the mood as well.

Chapter 3

Lucien and I sat opposite to each other on the tatami. He took the sake out of the wooden box and uncorked the bottle, pouring its contents into two cups. Lucien: So this is why you were talking with the owner's wife today... Lucien: Is there a reason for this sudden surprise gift? I answered him calmly, trying to hide my nervousness and anxiety. MC: It's not really sudden, just part of the series of things I planned for this trip... MC: Just think of it as a reward for your past months of hard work! I tried to steer the conversation away from this topic and pointed at the sake cup, gesturing at him invitingly. MC: Apparently, this kind of sake is very popular here. I was afraid that it would be all sold out by the time we arrived, so I ordered it half a month in advance! Lucien's eyes filled with the faint trace of a smile. Lucien: I guess I'd better taste it, then. You worked so hard for it. He lifted the cup to his lips and took a sip. MC: How is it? Lucien: It has a slightly sweet flavour...quite delicious. MC: That's good! Drinking wine in winter can warm you up. The memories of Lucien drinking wine flashed through my head, and I couldn't help adding to my sentence. MC: ...and its alcohol content isn't very high, so you don't need to worry about getting drunk. He raised an eyebrow. Lucien: It seems like I'm being underestimated. He poured some more sake into the cup, and then sipped at it unhurriedly. Lucien: I've had sake before. I didn't get drunk. MC: I think you've mentioned it to me over the phone before... I felt even more curious after he brought the incident up again. My impression is that he almost never drinks alcohol, but instead, loves tea. MC: Why did you try sake that time? Lucien: Mm...let me think. He set down the cup, propping his head up on one hand, and lifted his gaze to stare at the leaves in the yard behind me. Lucien: It was back when I was still a student. We were celebrating because we won a contest with our project. MC: Huh? Lucien: Didn't expect that, right? His gaze met mine for a split second, and then he continued speaking. Lucien: I had worked with my classmates on a very challenging scientific research project. We finally got our ideal results after a year and a half. He sighed, seeming to remember the scenes of the past. Lucien: They were absolutely overjoyed...dragged me to the tavern to celebrate...... He spoke with resignation, but I could see the corners of his mouth turn up in a small smile. I've almost never seen him celebrate his own achievements. The thought I had suppressed earlier was appearing in my mind again-- I want to stay beside him, celebrate with him, and witness the moment his hard work blossoms and he's rewarded for his efforts. A tangled mess of emotions spread across my chest: anticipation, anxiety, and even a hint of worry... Lucien: You're zoning out again. A light tap landed on my forehead, and I came back to my senses, smiling apologetically at Lucien. He narrowed his eyes, staring at me silently, and then spoke. Lucien: Oh, I remember a game we played back then... MC: A game? Lucien: Here, I'll show you. I watched with interest as Lucien took an empty cup and placed it upside-down on the table. Lucien: It's pretty simple. We take turns, you can either choose to tap the cup with your fingers, or take the cup away. Lucien: If the cup is taken away, the other person has to knock on the table with their knuckles. Touching the cup or tapping the table both count as losing. MC: This game seems to rely heavily on reflexes... Lucien smiled at my slightly confused state. Lucien: Yes, but it isn't very hard. You'll get the hang of it after a round or two. Do you want to give it a try? MC: Sure! I nodded eagerly. A streak of emotion flashed through Lucien's eyes, and a smile appeared on his lips.

MC: ...... MC: That's impossible! I took another sip of sake in frustration. Apparently, the "It isn't very hard" of this game is only directed at Lucien. Aside from having great reflexes, he always seemed to know my thoughts, and predicted my movements ahead of time... MC: It's like you can read my mind... Lucien just smiled in response to my complaint. Lucien: Or maybe it's because I know you so well. Lucien: That's why it's not hard to figure out what you're going to do next. He didn't seem to notice how his words made me flustered and embarrassed. I muttered under my breath. MC: That's not fair... Lucien: Why don't you try putting all of your attention on me as well?

MC: Huh? Lucien tilted his head, supporting his face with one hand. He studied my face curiously. Lucien: Maybe this strategy will be more effective. My heartbeat sped up uncontrollably. For a split second, I couldn't tell if he was teasing me, or being completely serious. I still decided to give it a try. I was losing right now, but this method would give me a chance to turn things around. I have nothing to lose, anyways. We soon started a new round. I followed Lucien's advice and stared at him intently, trying to find loopholes and weak points in his gestures. Lucien was smiling the entire time. He seemed to be in a good mood. It was now my turn to tap the cup. I noticed Lucien wrinkle his brow, and I suddenly decided to change tactics. I grabbed the cup and took it away. MC: ...! Lucien: I lost. He looked at our hands, both touching the top of the cup, and sighed. Lucien: It looks like...I was too careless. Lucien: I shouldn't have told you about that strategy. He looked a little sad and regretful. Lucien took the sake and downed it in one go. MC: Does it really work that well? I was a little surprised by the sudden victory. I wasn't sure if it was just luck or not, but I still grinned and felt excited at finally winning against this flawless person. The game went surprisingly smoothly for me after that. I didn't think I would ever experience such a day, where I was always winning against Lucien. The smile on my face grew wider and wider. It stayed that way until Lucien had to drink another cup of sake as punishment. Looking at his reddish ears and smiling lips, I suddenly realized something. I stopped smiling immediately and walked up to Lucien, looking at him sternly. MC: I nearly fell for your tricks again! His gaze flickered, and he reached out for me. Lucien: What's wrong? He looked at me, blinking innocently. Lucien: Why do you look so angry? Did I do something wrong? I couldn't help but laugh somewhat angrily. He already knew the answer...but he was asking anyways. I squeezed his hand. MC: You're letting me win on purpose, right? Lucien didn't respond, but hooked his fingers around mine, wrapping his palm around my hand. Lucien: Who said I let you win on purpose? Lucien: I'm losing to you willingly. He reached out and brushed his finger against my nose, a smile appearing on his lips once more. Lucien: I can finally see your genuine smile. MC: Eh? Lucien: You've looked worried ever since this morning. Lucien: I had originally thought that I shouldn't pressure you into telling me and wait for you to talk to me yourself, but on second thought, it's not good for you to bear this on your own. Lucien: I'm guessing...the thing that's bothering you... is something concerning me? He looked lost in thought for a second. Lucien: Is it that article from the morning? The determined look in his eyes and his behaviour just now made me suddenly understand. MC: So you wanted to play this game so I could relax more? MC: I should have known...I can't hide anything from you. He laughed and wrapped my hand into his palm, speaking in a teasing tone. Lucien: Tell me, how did the Professor Xu on the article trouble you? I laughed, amused by his words. Since my inner thoughts have already been exposed, I decided to just be honest with him. MC: Well...actually, this bottle of sake was originally a gift for you to celebrate your victory. I didn't expect the list to be postponed... MC: I still want to celebrate with you, but if......the results aren't good, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. MC: ...So, I didn't say anything. I sighed with relief, feeling more at ease after admitting everything to Lucien. MC: But now I think...it's more important to cherish the time we have together. I picked up my phone and turned it off without hesitation, trying to show Lucien my determination. MC: I won't get distracted anymore! The light in Lucien's eyes flickered and, he too, turned his phone off. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and lifted his head. Lucien: Then it's a promise. From now on, don't let anything disturb out time together. Lucien: ...not even humans. I couldn't hold in my laughter when Lucien made another addition to his sentence. MC: ...But it's still my fault for getting distracted before. Now, we can make up for lost time. Lucien: Oh? What do you have in mind? I glanced at the courtyard and raised my eyebrows at Lucien. MC: Didn't you notice? The snow outside is getting smaller. He looked puzzled for a second, but then understood what I was implying. The corners of his mouth turned up in a smile. The heavy snow storm outside had turned into light, soft snowflakes-- Drifting into the steaming hot springs, and melting away silently.

After having our meal, Lucien and I walked on the stone pathway in the courtyard. The sound of tricking water reached our ears. MC: It looks like the weather report was accurate. The snow is much smaller and lighter than before.

Lucien: Yes, but are you still drunk? We could come back later. MC: Don't worry, I'm totally awake and sober. MC: Plus, I already did my research. According to the internet, the best time to take a soak in the springs is two hours after a meal! Lucien opened his mouth to say something, but then suddenly stopped in his tracks. He stared at the hot springs in front of us, and a streak of shock and surprise flashed through his eyes. I followed his gaze to the outdoor springs, and my eyes widened. MC: This is... To my utter surprise, I realized that this private hot spring didn't have any sort of barrier separating the two sides!

Chapter 4

MC: That's strange...I clearly remember that the pictures on the website had the hot springs separated with wooden boards... I stared at the water, feeling my ear tips turn red. I couldn't help feeling nervous at the thought of two people in the same pool... Just as I was about to say something to break the awkward silence, Lucien spoke up. Lucien: ...I'll just go back to the room. Lucien: I'll come back once you've finished. MC: Huh? I raised my head. Lucien's expression was still calm and gentle, but his eyes avoided mine. Could it be...... ...I'm not the only one who's nervous? Looking at the steaming hot spring, I swallowed and steeled myself. MC: I mean, we've already changed into new clothes and everything...let's just do it together.

Lucien and I sat across from each other in the hot spring. The clear, rippling water came up to our chests. Lucien: Do you think the water temperature is too hot? I raised my head, and my gaze slid disobediently from his bare chest to his collarbones, his Adam's apple, and then his lips...I didn't dare look up any further. MC: No, it's perfect. I shook my head and tried to suppress my rapid heartbeats. I lowered myself a bit more, submerging my shoulders in the warm water, and couldn't help giving a soft sigh. Snowflakes landed on my face, making my skin feel cool and icy, but melted soon after due to the hot air and my warm body. Lucien's hand swept over the surface of the water, making the water splash. He closed his eyes, tilting his head up, and leaned against the rock wall. Lucien: I remember the last time we took a soak in a hot spring. It was snowing...like today. MC: Yeah, I remember that too. My heart warmed as I remembered the last time I celebrated Lucien's birthday. MC: It feels like all of my happy memories about snowy days are spent with you. He slowly opened his eyes. Droplets of water clung to his eyelashes, and the shape of his lips looked attractive and alluring. Lucien: To me, it's not just snowy days. The sound of flowing water overlapped with his voice, reaching my ears through the misty air. The distant memories in my mind seemed to be lit up little by little under Lucien's gentle gaze. My throat felt a little dry after being stared at for so long. My gaze landed on the tray, and I looked over at the wagashi and cups of hot tea. I picked up a cup and took a sip. It wasn't alcohol or sake, but I somehow still felt slightly drunk. I patted my slightly hot face and tried to stretch my body a bit. My foot accidentally touched Lucien's leg. Lucien: ...... MC: ...... My heart skipped a beat and my breathing quickened. The water of the hot spring seemed to make every part of my body more sensitive. I looked up at Lucien. His gaze flickered, and then he looked away. Lucien picked up the other cup on the tray. Lucien: ...The aroma of tea is very strong. MC: Yeah... MC: T-This kind of opportunity is rare, why don't we replace alcohol with tea and give a toast? I bit my tongue in embarrassment as soon as the words were out of my mouth. The hand Lucien was using to hold the cup seemed to shake. He studied my red cheeks for a second, and then couldn't hold in his laughter.

Lucien: Yes, that's a good suggestion, but...... Lucien: Toasts are usually for celebrating. What are we celebrating right now? I was at a loss for words. While I racked my brain for things to say, a thought flashed through my mind. MC: To celebrate- Lucien: I'm going to be very disappointed if you say something like "to celebrate your prizewinning ahead of time" again. MC: Uhm... This man definitely has mind-reading skills! I looked at Lucien's smiling eyes through the white mist, and then couldn't help smiling as well. The snow floated down from the skies, the clear water rippled, but nothing could compare to his shining eyes. Everything in front of me suddenly felt unreal, like a dream. An amazing man was right in front of my eyes, sharing tea and the wonderful snowy view with me. I could see my figure reflect clearly in Lucien's eyes. I suddenly realized that...to me, this moment with him surpasses everything. I instantly spoke without thinking. MC: Then, let's celebrate the moment we share right now. Underneath the water's surface, our touching skin lightly rubbed against each other. The distinct touch made me feel like there were electric currents coursing through my body, the sensation causing ripples in my heart. I no longer avoided his eyes like before, but looked at Lucien quietly. His Adam's apple moved slightly. The pale, warm mist made his dark eyes twinkle with the lights reflecting off the water. I suddenly had the feeling that Lucien could somehow see past the hazy mist and stare straight into my heart. After a while, he gave a soft laugh. Lucien: Only the moment now? MC: What? Lucien didn't answer, but instead, got up and leaned towards me. His chest, originally submerged in the hot spring, was exposed above the water. The temperature of the hot spring made his skin slightly red. The water rippled and splashed, the droplets falling back towards the spring. Slightly nervous, I touched the ground with my foot. I was a little unstable due to the buoyancy of the water, but Lucien grabbed my waist with one hand just in time. I lifted my head, bewildered, and stared at the defined line of Lucien's jaw, my fingertips digging into the tight and strong muscles of his shoulders. His hand slipped over my back and he held me even tighter in his arms. I subconsciously put one hand at his shoulder and pressed the other against his chest. MC: Lucien...... The soft waves of the water lapped against our bodies. Lucien bent down, and his lips moved close to my ears. His voice was slightly hoarse. Lucien: What I want to say is, not only should we celebrate this moment, but also... Lucien: Every single second we have together. A light touch landed on my earlobe, and it felt as if tendrils of fire were lit up there, one by one. The cups collided with a clear, crisp sound. Lucien drank a mouthful of tea, held my chin, and leaned down. I watched his face come closer and closer. I had no time to think, all I could do was close my eyes...... And...experience the numb sensation on my lips and taste the fragrant sweet tea in my mouth.

There was the sound of splashing water as Lucien got up and walked out of the pool. Lucien: Our clothes were left out and now they're wet from the snow. I'll go back to get new clothes. MC: Wait, I'll go with you. I stood up and tried to follow him. Lucien stood frozen in place, and his gaze wavered slightly when he looked at me. I followed his eyes and looked down. The wet towel clung to my body, clearly outlining my figure. Water dripped down from the soaked fabric. A cool breeze blew past, and I suddenly noticed something. I quickly sat back in the hot spring. MC: I-It's so cold... Lucien laughed softly and nodded. Lucien: Yeah, it would be cold for you if you go back like this. Lucien: So, can you wait for me here? I touched my slightly hot face, and nodded at him, smiling. MC: Okay!

When Lucien returned, I was eating the wagashi in the tray. He laughed when he saw me. (Wagashi are traditional Japanese sweets that are typically enjoyed with a cup of green tea. In Chinese, they're called 和果子.)

Lucien: Are you hungry? MC: A little bit. Look, these desserts are all so detailed and beautiful. I pushed the platter towards him. He crouched down and examined them carefully. Lucien: Yeah, you're right. Lucien: I once heard a really skilled pastry chef say that wagashi desserts can express and reflect anything, whether it's from nature or human emotion. MC: Really? I put my arm on the stone edge surrounding the hot spring and started studying the wagashi in the tray curiously. MC: These are made for Valentine's Day. I wonder if they're special in any way. Lucien: I think they are. He leaned down and examined the desserts along with me. Lucien: Maybe...we can use our imagination to take a guess? He smiled and picked up one of the sweets. The shape and design was fairly simple compared to the others. It was round like a small steamed bun, and there was a circular yellow label stamped in the centre. Lucien: I'm sure they made the label yellow for a reason. He looked at it for a while and then handed it to me. Lucien: Can you think of anything? MC: Um...yellow circle...... MC: Like a full moon? I looked up at Lucien. The corners of his mouth turned up, hinting at me to continue on. I stared at the seemingly plain and ordinary wagashi, and suddenly realized something. MC: The moon is a very important symbol of love and can be used to express many different emotions... MC: So, it seems that this wagashi really fits the theme of Valentine's Day. Lucien: Do you want to taste it? I leaned over and bit into the wagashi in his hand. The sweetness melted in my mouth. I was pleasantly surprised to see the red filling underneath the white outside layer. MC: It's red bean paste...! A flash of surprise crossed Lucien's eyes, and after a while, he nodded thoughtfully. Lucien: To choose red filling for the inside... Lucien: That's probably because the person who created it wanted to express the sincere emotions between lovers. MC: So wagashi can really express human emotion... I looked at the emotion-filled dessert, and a warm, gentle feeling grew in my heart. I spoke to Lucien without thinking. MC: You try it too! I remembered something as soon as the words left my mouth, and quickly changed my words. MC: Oh, you don't really like sweets...then I'll take it! I reached out to take the wagashi away from him, but Lucien moved his hand away and out of my reach. MC: Huh? He gave a light laugh at my puzzled look. Lucien: I don't really like sweet things, that's true. Lucien: But...a dessert with such beautiful meaning...I still want to give it a try. MC: But...... Lucien's face appeared in front of mine before I even finished speaking. He put his hand behind my head and leaned down. In the blink of an eye, I felt a sudden warmth on my lips. His hot breath fell on my face, making my skin feel both itchy and numb, dispelling the coolness in the air. The snow on the edge of the pool melted into water and fell into the spring, causing little splashes where they land. After a long time, Lucien finally let go of the hand behind my head and looked at me, a faint smile tugging at his lips. Lucien: Mm, it's sweeter than I imagined.

Chapter 5

After taking a soak in the pool, Lucien and I walked back to the room. We both froze when the door was pushed open. A gaudy “prize cake” was sitting on the table.

The word "AWARD" was written in large block letters using red chocolate, and right underneath it, was a sentence written in black chocolate-- "The Best Scientist Award". Lucien raised an eyebrow, glancing lazily towards me. I coughed awkwardly. MC: Cough cough...would you believe me if I said the attendant sent this to the wrong room? The door was pushed open again, and the attendant came in with two sets of cutlery. Attendant: You're back, Miss. Did you enjoy the hot springs? Attendant: This is the special cake you ordered. The driver was able to get down the mountain to get it since the snow's smaller now. Please enjoy. The attendant gave me a meaningful look, as if saying "I won't disturb you any longer", and then bowed and walked out. After a short silence, a soft chuckle came from behind me. MC: ......Okay, I'll admit it. I prepared this for you...a present to celebrate your victory in winning the award. MC: I think there's more of a celebratory atmosphere if we eat cake. MC: Well...I know the appearance of the cake is sort of...weird and exaggerated, but it probably tastes okay... Lucien nodded, laughing softly. Lucien: Yes, I think this cake will be delicious. And...... Lucien: Now, I'm convinced that you really do care a lot about this topic. He paused, and then took out his phone, turning it on. Lucien: Since you want to know so badly...let's find out together. MC: ......What? Lucien: Didn't you want to know the results? I remember it said in the article you read this morning...it was going to be delayed until the afternoon. Lucien: It should be the right time now. MC: But...! I watched his unhurried movements, my eyes wide. I seemed to be more nervous than he was. Lucien: If I don't let you know now, you'd be worried over it for the entire day. Right after he finished speaking, his phone buzzed continuously for a few minutes, and endless messages flooded the screen. My heartbeat sped up as I stared as his vibrating phone. Lucien also seems somewhat surprised by the amount of notifications. Lucien: ...A Ming, sent fifteen text messages and called me six times. He wrinkled his brow. Lucien: It looks like he didn't take what I said about "focus on the key points" to heart. MC: I'm currently also questioning your ability to "focus on key points"! Finally, his phone calmed down. Lucien lightly tapped the screen, his face expressionless and emotionless. I looked at him with mixed feelings of anticipation and anxiousness. After a few minutes of silence, Lucien suddenly leaned towards me, burying his head in my shoulder, and let out a soft sigh. Lucien: ...... My heart stopped. MC: I-It's okay...... My mind was blank, and I was stumbling over my words. MC: Maybe it's because they changed the requirements for this year, they need to consider other elements, and...... MC: This is their loss! You're so talented and smart, they're going to regret it for sure! Lucien: ...Really? MC: Yes!! I replied instantly and was about to continue on when my ears caught a low laugh. I suddenly realized that something wasn't right. MC: ......You're tricking me again! I immediately straightened up, trying to escape his embrace. He caught my wrist, laughing, and pulled me into his arms again. Lucien: I didn't trick anyone...it's kind of unfair for you to say that. Lucien: I don't think I actually said anything about the results yet? I bit my lip, pouting slightly as I looked at the triumphant smile in his eyes. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I dove into the blankets on the bed and pretended to be angry. Even though the news of Lucien's success made me smile from ear to ear, I tried to control my expression and spoke in an upset voice. MC: I was so nervous, yet you still tricked me! MC: I had prepared a third gift for you, aside from the cake and the sake...but now I'm going to reconsider if I should give it to you or not! His low laughter immediately stopped, as if someone had pressed the pause button. I secretly giggled to myself and counted down silently. 3, 2, 1...as expected, I felt a pair of hands hug me from behind when I counted the last number. Lucien: I'm sorry. You were so cute...I couldn't help teasing you. Lucien: So, can you tell me what the last gift is? Lucien waited, and when I didn't respond, he started coughing. Lucien: Cough cough... Lucien: I think I caught a cold from staying outside for so long... I listened to Lucien's coughing. At first, I was startled, but then couldn't hold in my laughter. I didn't think he'd resort to such childish tactics. Lucien also started laughing when he heard my laughter. The hands around my waist tightened, and his voice was more serious when he opened his mouth. Lucien: MC. Lucien: Actually, I don't really care about this award that much. My heart skipped a beat. It was the first time I heard him say something like that. Lucien: Because, everything that I wanted to have......I got it when the research results were announced...maybe even earlier than that. Lucien: Any praise from the outside world, to me, is nothing but icing on the cake. He paused, as if suddenly remembering something, and then started laughing softly. Lucien: But, everything that you've done for me today...I'm very happy about it. Lucien: Whether it's the gifts you gave me, or the sincere words you spoke...all of that made me feel how important I am to you. Lucien rubbed his chin over my forehead through the blanket. Lucien: The only one who would feel happy, nervous, or even sad for me from the bottom of their heart... Lucien: It's probably only this silly girl in front of me. His soft, gentle words fell over my heart, splashing up waves of emotion. Lucien: I think...the reason I keep teasing you is because I want to see more of the reactions and feelings...that you only display for me. Lucien: I guess I'm also a "collector", of some sort-- Lucien: It doesn't matter what form of MC...I want to have them all. Lucien: Will you forgive me now? His tone was filled with tenderness and gentleness. I still didn't respond, but instead, answered with my actions-- I threw off the blankets, and kissed Lucien's cheek as he froze in shock. My fingers swept over the strands of his hair, stopping on his face, and  I held on to him tightly, pulling him towards me. The sound of heavy breathing filled the room. As if in a trance, I kissed him over and over, and then pressed my lips against his ear. MC: I'm not angry, you're the silly one here... My lips made their way down the edge of his ear. He gave a sharp intake of breath, and I stopped my kisses and instead, rubbed gently against his ear. After a long time, my eyes met Lucien's, and I finally realized how bold and embarrassing my actions were. I tried to pull away from him. But Lucien didn't allow me to hide. The hand on my waist tightened, and he pressed his forehead against my forehead, his dark eyes staring deep into mine. Lucien: Is this the third gift? Our breaths mingled, both of us breathing hard. I shook my head. MC: ...It's a promise. I tried to calm my breathing, and slowly said the words that had been fermenting in my heart. MC: I was planning to wait until the results were out...no matter if you won or not, I would still say this to you-- MC: In the future, I'm going to stay beside you and spend every memorable moment with you. MC: ...Do you still remember the crystallized flower you gave me? MC: My thoughts are the same as yours. Every single second we spend together is precious and special for me. I don't have a gift as beautiful and romantic as the one you gave me, so I can only express my feelings in words... MC: But this truly is my most genuine and sincere thought. The evening air swept past. Behind Lucien, the flaming red maple leaves fluttered down from the sky. I suddenly had the feeling that Lucien and I were closer than ever. He lowered his gaze, staring at me for a second, and then let out a soft laugh. Lucien: Your romantic sentences have improved a lot since the last time. My face felt hot when I met the mischievous look in his eyes. MC: I was only speaking from the heart! Lucien: Yeah, I know. Lucien: I don't think your words are plain. In fact, I believe the opposite...your words are of great significance and importance to me. Lucien: But, even if I receive such a wonderful vow, there's still one thing... Lucien: Aren't you giving me an empty promise? MC: !... I... I was at a loss for words. Lucien smiled, his gaze traveling down to slightly open lips, emotion wavering in his dark eyes. Lucien: Sometimes...actions speak louder than words. He lifted his arm, brushing his thumb against my lips. Lucien: The sincerity in your promise...maybe I'll understand it better if you express it in a different way. His voice was low, and he lifted his gaze to look at me, lights shimmering in his eyes. Lucien: Are you willing to give it a try? My face turned red, and my thoughts were a mess. The next second, Lucien grabbed my wrist and pressed me to the tatami. MC: Uhf...! His soft tongue pried my teeth open little by little, rubbing against the inside of my mouth gently and delicately, as if trying to rub away all the heat and lingering feelings. I tasted the faint, pleasant flavour of tea in his mouth. It somehow tasted like wine with an incredibly high alcohol content...I felt slightly drunk. He lifted my chin with one hand. Lucien's eyes were half-closed, and he loosened his grip on my hand. His fingers gently caressed the skin of my wrist, slowly and tenderly, making my body gradually relax. The temperature around us rose quickly, and I instinctively threw my arms around his neck, responding to his actions with another kiss. He let go of me just when I started feeling a little dizzy. His familiar soft laugh sounded by my ears. When he saw I was slightly weak from his actions, Lucien held on to my waist and let me sit on his lap. One of my hands were pressed against his sturdy chest, and the other was weakly grasping his already messy and disheveled clothes. MC: Lucien...... I lowered my head and stared into his eyes. I could see some sort of suppressed emotion in his dark eyes, and I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his chin. Lucien: ...... The light reflected in Lucien's eyes seemed to flicker, and then suddenly darkened. The hand Lucien was using to stroke my hair suddenly moved, giving me no time to react, and he pulled me towards him, kissing me once more. Unlike the gentle, tender kiss from before...this one was filled with overwhelming passion and a slight hint of greed. The tingling sensation from my mouth seemed to course through my body like an electrical current. Lucien's warm palm made its way down my back, making me shiver. My senses and emotions were all occupied by him. I could feel the kiss gradually deepen. I felt a slight pain at my collarbone, and I cried out. I could feel a warm, moist touch appear over that area. A layer of fine sweat appeared on our touching skin, and with it, came an intimate, sticky feeling. I ran a hand through the sweat-drenched strands of Lucien's hair and lowered my head to look down at him. His eyes were closed, and his face was slightly red with the colour of maple leaves. I didn't know where to put my eyes, and my face turned hot again. As if feeling my nervousness, the corners of Lucien's mouth turned up slightly. He lifted a hand and covered my eyes. Lucien: Close your eyes. His voice was commanding, but also extremely gentle and tender. I slowly closed my eyes and surrendered myself to him. The last image remaining on my eyes was Lucien's dark, unfathomable eyes... ...And a brilliant red.

- End -

[aclosetfan]

8

And Np

(ask game)

haha dude you’re like my new best friend now lmao thanks so much for being interested enough to ask about my dumb ideas!

Eight is titled “Artistic Aspirations” which isn’t a creative title at all. It’s another multi-chapter, no powers au, blues fic!! Personally, I think it's too safe and boring to write. The story spans a few years; I’ve shortened the outline to make it readable, but it still ended up being too long, sorry.

Background on the girls at the start of the story:

Bubbles is 21 and a broke, struggling artist finishing/right out of undergrad. Lives in Cityville. she’s on the verge of having to crawl home to her family with her tail between her legs

BC is 23 and finishing her physical therapy program in Townsville. Still lives with the Professor, but she practically lives full time at her boyfriend's place. She’s semi-neurotic about her relationship, not because it’s unstable, but b/c she thinks it’s too good to be true. Butch, for what it’s worth, doesn’t blink an eye—just a chill dude in this one. VERY into BC.

Blossom is 25 and starting her law career. Lives on the East Coast, working for a successful firm. Would like to move back home at one point, but she hasn’t really had the “right” reason to.

Plot (under the cut!)

It opens with Bubbles at a diner waiting for her sisters at their regular booth. Life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine like she had hoped. At the diner, Buttercup announces that she and her long-term boyfriend are finally engaged! Bubbles has met Butch plenty of time as well as Brick, Butch’s older brother, but she has yet to meet his youngest brother. In fact, Bubbles doesn’t even know his name. Butch just affectionately refers to him as “my dumbass little brother,” which Brick (a defense lawyer here in Townsville) wholeheartedly agrees with. Butch has also said “he’s into all that artsy stuff like you. Draws and shit.”

Until they finally meet at the wedding

He wasn’t there for the wedding rehearsal because his flight was delayed—he was somewhere “fancy” according to Butch b/c of some “art thing, idk, he’ll be here.” “He better be!” Cries HIM, who is one of Butch’s dads, but Bubbles doesn’t really know how exactly b/c everyone is adamant that HIM and Mojo (their other eccentric father) have never once been in a relationship

So when Bubs finally meets the brother she’s walking down the aisle with, she—a person who has an undergrad degree in art (haven’t decided what kind yet lol)—is like WAIT BOOMER JOJO THE BOOMER JOJO?!?! He’s like, “lol sup” and she loses her mind because Butch’s dumbass little brother doesn’t just “draw and shit,” he’s actually an art world prodigy, who despite being very young and very alive, is considered very renowned in major art circles.

(Not Banksy per se, but he’s like one of those Bad Boy artists that would make other artists roll their eyes) (also a man of many projects but doesn’t have the follow-through for a lot of them—which if he wasn’t so good at the stuff he actually finishes, would bite him in the ass; he’s flaky, gets bored easily).

Bubbles is amazed she hasn’t made the connection between the brothers and Boomer just laughs.

There’s, quite predictably, an instant connection between the blues. Butch, who cares for his sister-in-law, is like “Bubs don’t date my brother. He’s not mature enough to be dating anyone.” And Bubbles doesn’t listen!! Because she’s desperate for love and this could also mean she’s finally getting her big break!! Their relationship is really intense and Boomer does end up getting her a nice cushy job at some indie gaming company that he’s dipping his toes in. But just a quick as the flame is lit, it goes out. Boomer gets bored, Bubbles’ art isn’t being taken seriously, and she ends up getting fired for creative differences. Fired and despondent, she gets her break-up text from Boomer the next day. The day after that, he’s dating a model.

Absolutely crushed, Bubbles packs up her bags, leaves his apartment, and moves back in with the Professor. Butch and Buttercup (and Brick—but he’s at work) are ready to kick ass. Bubbles though would rather forget about it and holes up in her childhood bedroom. Eventually, BC gets her out of the room, brings her to Butch and her’s home, and is like “listen I know you’re heartbroken, but ima need you to do something for me—“ and Bubbles is like omg srsly?? Right now?? And BC is like “I need a mural on that wall, something cutesy, ya kno a stork or something?” And Bubbles is about to snap but then, she's like WAIT A STORK!!! And a new baby on the way really brings Bubbles out of her stupor—it gets her painting again. (Bubbles is full of love and you can’t tell me she doesn’t love babies)

So the mural is a hit at the baby shower and Robin (longtime best friend, also pregnant), is like Bubbles please paint me one, and her partner Princess is like MONEY IS NO OBJECT IF ROBIN WANTS IT SHE GETS IT. And then, subsequently, Robin’s (and Princess’s) mural takes off in the rich, white lady community, and soon enough Bubbles is being commissioned for more than just Baby Murals. Princess goes around bragging that she was the one who “discovered her,” and becomes Bubbles' “business agent.”

Basically, Bubbles is on the rise. As opposed to Boomer, who is on the fall. He’s hit an art block. It’s really bad. His melancholy is really bad. Very much plays the “woe is me" card. Hasn’t been back to Townsville in a while, so when his nephew (who he’s met briefly over facetime lol) turns one, he decides to fly in for his birthday.

Plans to mope and bum off his brothers for a bit, but is shocked to see Bubbles, who he then realizes he shouldn’t be so shocked to see. Has a ream “this was a mistake, she’ll make scene” moment, but Bubbles greets him as if nothing between them had ever happened (LIKE A QUEEN). Boomer takes this personally. Then Boomer meets Princess, who gloats about Bubbles, and then, looks at the award-winning boy and goes, “so anyway, who are you again?”

This pisses Boomer off even more and then, over the course of the week he stays with the greens, this anger builds up. He eventually takes it out on Bubbles, like, “you wouldn’t be who you are without me.”

[cue that one blinking gif] Bubbles goes off. Boomer storms off. Romance is in the air.

Jk

[well I guess the reds are hitting it off, but that’s c-plot and who cares]

Princess isn’t privy to this growing resentment and only sees an Opportunity™. She reaches out to Boomer’s agent. Then, she reaches out to a museum, and is like “I’ve got the most BITCHING exhibit for you.” Then, she tells Bubbles about the gig she booked for her.

Bubbles and Boomer are like no way am I doing a collab with them. Boomer’s agent is like “chief ima be real with you, it’s this or nothing.” Princess looks at Bubbles and tells her to suck it up. So, they end up working together, which means Boomer is back in Townsville.

Cue lovers to enemies to friends back to lovers speedrun. Hello yes.

Because they’re forced to collaborate, because Bubbles is more confident, and because Boomer has been knocked down a peg or two, they actually (finally) get to know each other on a personal level. And being closer to family helps Boomer, in some ways, mature. It’s a whole connecting back to your roots “ive grown and im better now” character development for Boomer.

Ends ambiguous ;) but it's happy.