#anyway thank you for asking to hear more!!! i love shouting into the void so it’s nice when the void shouts back
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would love to hear more about your ocs if you’d like to share!
I’d love to!!! gonna put it under a read more so it doesn’t clog up anything
My ocs are (mostly) from this little farming moon colony in Cardassian space that was basically abandoned to be self-sufficient after the dominion war.
so essentially you remember the Maquis storyline where it said that all of them are in prison or dead or Voyager? I’m ignoring that a little but also using that. basically in the blind terror of getting away from the dominion a marquis cell (so about a dozen/two dozen people roughly) crashed onto this moon
There are basically two sets of ocs - the merge generation, where one of the farming districts, the Taar district, starts incorporating the maquis into their community due to need and resignation, and then there’s the colony collapse generation, which is the kids from the merge generation all grown up and contact a relief mission to help them before they lose their home
As for actual ocs, ive fleshed out the kids more because that’s where i started. Carver Raju Taar and Lelli Kozett are my favourites/most formed. Carver and Lelli are also the first Maquis-Cardassian merge children to be born, so they’ve been pretty knee-deep in all the politics over the roughly 25-30 years the colony has been on its own.
Taar’s mother Priya was an ex-Starfleet human Maquis that was pregnant when they crashed and presumed dead for a while after she disappeared. She was rescued and helped by Gena Taar and eventually they formed a bond. Carver was adopted by Gena after Priya died when he was still a baby, with Priya’s consent. Gena was pretty important politically for the colony and her adoption of Carver really fucked things up lol but no one could really tell her no and by the time people found out Lelli’s parents had gotten together so it was just dealt with in stride. Carver actually ends up being the person slated to take over for the district in the end, despite having older cousins, so he gets to be stressed about responsibility and a family legacy he has been routinely estranged from that he still longs to maintain. poor guy lol
Lelli’s half betazoid, half cardassian. Jaska Kozett and Eirris Zei were assigned to work together once the cell was discovered and subsequently fell in love. The maquis kinda saw it coming (Eirris wasn’t subtle) and so this was accepted with resignation. Jaska is important to the district, not entirely sure how yet, so she was pretty brazen once their relationship was public. Lelli is kind of a rainbow baby, her siblings didn’t survive, and she spent much of her childhood being smothered by her parents whenever she wasn’t with the district doctor. As a teenager her psionic abilities developed abnormally; she projects her own emotions constantly but has no read on others. Her dad managed to convince Vossa, a Vulcan (and Maquis), to teach her how to control her emotions when controlling the projection appeared to fail. As an adult Lelli has taken over most of the district doctor duties in secret with her mentor’s secret failing health. She’s also stressed lol and still completely unqualified to do the medical stuff she’s doing. She wants to leave the colony but responsibility keeps her there.
My other guys aren’t as developed/concrete yet but im concentrating on the district and cell rn haha. timeline wise i think that in the end the colony just cannot sustain itself and the kids who have defined themselves through their roles to the community are forced to reckon with what to do when that community may no longer exist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s a work in progress!!
#it’s been so long and yet it all still feels so half formed#but the story mostly follows Lelli and carver who btw don’t even like each other very much#they have a political alliance but they’re very much frenemies. no one else understands them but they can’t stand each other#very funny to me. what if you were besties with your work rival#anyway thank you for asking to hear more!!! i love shouting into the void so it’s nice when the void shouts back#fennels log#moon colony ocs
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Pops into your house casually-
Do you have any specific thoughts or concepts to your personal interpretation of William afton. Your design for him is very unique and I would love to hear more from your vers of him!
HELLO !! Thank you first off <3 and ough I don't know how to describe him or my thoughts. Nothing in here is specific. I'm just gonna shout into the void.
He is a strange one that Will. Regarding lore for my William it follows what used to be kinda considered canon? I think? He was behind the murders, got springlocked, and since I never got around to incorporating security breach into my lore it left off with Williams spirit coming back as Glitchtrap.
PERSONALITY oh boy. William can be described as contradictory. Somehow he is this giant entity that haunts the entire narrative, yet he is also Just Some Guy. He often acts like a very serious guy, but definitely has a sense of humor. He wears bowling shoes and two toned pants as his regular outfit. He genuinely thinks he means it when he says he cares for the people he considers friends or family but continuously uses and hurts them, both intentionally and unintentionally. He sees nothing wrong with this if it benefits him. He goes through life like anyone else but also he murdered a few kids so he could harvest their soul juice to make himself immortal. He also goes bowling on weekends.
None of his kids deaths were planned, and he grieved for them, but could certainly have been prevented if he wasn't so negligent.
He does not care how his actions affect the world and others lives around him.
As for specifically Fazbear Frights AU William, he is even less grounded and silly and literally just makes shit and than when asked Why he made the Child Murder Item Of The Day he genuinely does not have an answer. Why DID he make the child murder item? Hell if he knows. Produce that shit.
Also I genuinely just drew A Guy for his design and tweaked him as time went on. I think it's really funny how he went from this twig to his current day design lol
His Squareness has harsher edges to display his harsher personality while also contrasting to Scotty's friendly roundness(head wise anyway). his silly boxy smile is reminiscent of his sprites in game :]
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came across your bill rp blog comics recently, and wasn't sure if it was a better idea to send this here or there — i ended up picking here bc your rules post led to it, lol. sorry if that isn't right, i'm not good with blog meta!
just wanted you to know that the way you structured those panels (specifically both the concept of the Void bill was stuck in and then the character acting in each frame, especially in the newest addition) blew me the hell away. your art style is crazy expressive and the use of singular bright colors in an otherwise grey world is a sick as hell aesthetic, and a cool way to show bill as an outside influence. which is double cool, because the Thing That Trapped Him being represented as a formless voice is like another layer of unapproachable monolith.
just wanted to ramble on about that for a while. you're doing something really cool and i really dig your art style. also the mushroom joke was really funny.
Your instincts were correct! I don’t like posting OOC chatter on the in character blogs, so messaging me here is ideal!
Anyway, thank you so much! This is definitely one of the nicest asks I’ve ever received. I love hearing what people think about my ideas! It makes it feel as though I’m not just shouting into the empty void of tumblr.
I’m glad the mushroom joke was funny — I wasn’t originally going into it thinking I’d do a classic set up and punchline, but once it started panning out that way I started worrying that it was going to feel like quite a lot of groundwork for comparably little payoff. It’s a relief to hear that it landed for at least one person, haha.
The truth about the greyscale is really just that I’m too lazy to color (it’s not really my strong suit) so black and white plus a singular pop to color was kind of my way of avoiding having to render colors while still making it visually interesting. I like your interpretation though — maybe I’ll start using color more intentionally going forward. I already have a few ideas…
Once again, thank you! Definitely keep reaching out to artists to let them know if you like what they’re doing! It’s a huge compliment and we always appreciate it!
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mrs magic — wade wilson x reader
warnings: sorta deadpool & wolverine spoilers, wade jokingly calls reader ‘pookie’ and ‘shnookums,’ cussing, mention of blood, slightly suggestive, not proofread
summary: wade talks to reader while she’s in the shower about his latest adventure with the wolverine.
authors note: i love wade sm!! also i don’t have any photos of him w his mask off because when i search deadpool no mask on pinterest it gives a warning. heavily inspired by shower talk by @eternalsunrise . check out their oneshot, it’s super good! sorry if this is dogshit
word count: 1.1k
soft droplets of water rain down onto the shower floor. hot water runs down your body, and soap foams on your arms. your hair quickly becomes drenched in water, becoming as straight as it can be.
you hold a bar of shampoo under the water and rub it, soap foaming on your hands. you scrunch it into the hair on your scalp, careful not to shampoo the hanging hair. as you grab your scalp scrubber, you hear shouts of your name.
“y/n? pookie? shnookums?” you recognize the voice as wade. “i brought someone home!” he exclaimed.
“i’m in the shower, wade!” you yell, ready to see him barging into the bathroom.
you pause when you hear two pairs of footsteps, only being used to one pair. you then remember wade said he brought another person with him, so he must trust them. you continue scrubbing your scalp.
the door swings open, revealing your bloody boyfriend in his iconic deadpool suit.
“oh, i have so much to tell you!” he exclaims, nearly ripping his mask off.
he keeps the door cracked open, something you previously asked him to do so the mirror wouldn’t fog up as much. he dramatically sits down on the toilet, tilting his head back.
“what happened, wade?” you ask, looking to your right to see a big, red blob sitting on the toilet.
“so, basically. wolverine is here! i got taken in by the TVA people, like how you did a few months ago, and i got into this huge argument with this one guy, i forgot his name. anyway, he tricked me and i traveled through different timelines to find another logan because, you know, ours is dead and we needed one to keep our timeline stable—“ he rambles.
you ask a question, “wait, logan was the one keeping our timeline stable? god damn it, why did that bitch have to die?”
you smile at his hands flailing around, animating his every word, he continues, “no idea! but i used his bones to kill off like, 100 guards from the TVA! it was so cool, you should’ve been there! anyway, i got another logan, who was supposed to help me out and save our timeline. but mother of asshole, he’s an asshole! fucking grumpy all the damn time, wanted me to shut up, and never talk! but i think we’re friends—“
you interrupt, “wade, sweetheart, you’re getting off track.” remembering to remind him when it happens, something he’s asked you to do in the past.
“oh, right! thanks! anyway, the logan i took got us stuck in this void thing. he kept stabbing me repeatedly like it was my fault! yeah, i did get us stabbed with this stick thing that sent us there, but whatever.” he continues talking as you rinse out the shampoo in your hair and add the conditioner.
you listen as your boyfriend talks about his mission. his voice never falters, you know how important the story must mean to him. he’s always focused when he tells a story, though he does get off track sometimes, he’s always excited to talk about his journeys.
he talks about how he ran into 100 more deadpools, and how he brought a dog home too, who happens to be a variant of him. as he’s talked shit about the honda odyssey before, he talks about how he and logan fought each other for hours in there. both of them were later taken to a hideout with four other superheroes.
one of them was laura, x-23, someone who people had considered as logan’s daughter. she had regenerative healing and adamantium claws, like logan. another was blade, a half-vampire, and half-human who was an evil vampire hunter, but would have to drink blood or else he'd die. elektra was a skilled assassin with superhuman abilities, and a master of many fighting skills like martial arts, gymnastics, and ninjitsu. wade claimed she had many weapons on hand. remy, who people knew as gambit, was an interesting man with an interesting cajun accent. he was a man who loved his liquor for himself and could control kinetic energy, skilled with cards and making them ‘go boom,’ as wade claims.
he continues talking even as the water stops running down your face. as you turn the water off and slide open the shower door with a towel around your body, he keeps talking. he then pauses to look at your body standing next to his sitting one.
“you are the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen, man!” he chuckles and shakes his head.
he stands up and hugs your head, having taken his bloody suit off, though not replacing it. he sways you back and forth with his body, causing you to cling to him as well.
“i’ll introduce you to peanut. he’s kind of rude though, so don’t mind him. ooh, i’ll bring you some clothes!” he quickly switches topics and runs out of the bathroom, leaving you alone in your towel.
he returns with a shirt, shorts, and underwear in a messy pile. he lays them on the counter and sits down on the toilet, kicking his feet although it’s difficult for him to.
you take the towel off, putting on your underwear first, and earning a light spank from your boyfriend.
you squeal, “hey!” and swat his hand away.
“sorry, couldn’t help it!” wade replies.
he stands up from the seat and walks towards you, smiling at you as you cover your breasts. you sheepishly smile up at him, he leans down and places his lips against yours.
you continue to cover your chest with one arm, using the other to bring wade in closer.
he keeps pulling your lips back to his whenever you try to pull away for air. the kiss is filled with passion, intimacy, and love, though different from your past kisses. this one is different, there’s more to it than you think.
the two of you eventually pull back, your hand still placed on his chest. the two of you stare at each other for a moment, as if your eyes are shaped like hearts.
“i love you, wade.” you smile, rubbing your thumb on his chest.
his eyes squint as he giggles, “i love you too!” and traps you in a warm embrace, arms around your waist.
“now tell me more about your mission,” you add, wade immediately returns to ranting.
#yukioos#deadpool x reader#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wade wilson x reader#marvel x reader#mcu x reader#ryan reynolds#ryan reynolds x reader
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Hi Rina!
I hope today is going well for you!
I don't think we properly interact before but I wanted to send you a little message since you've been more active this past few days.
I really wanted to thank you for your presence on the dash, you share with us some your personnal feelings which I relate to a lot, and your posts have made me feel less lonely and more seen.
I hope this doesn't make you uncomfy in any way (or feel seen in way you don't want to) but you some of your posts have helped me questionning some of my own feelings and allowed me to bring new elements to my therapist lol
Anyway all of this to say that your presence on here has been comforting in a way for me (I really hope this does not translate to strange ahah)
Much love and thank you!
hi carla! <3 ty for this sweet message! it was something nice to wake up to a couple of days ago! (sorry for not getting back to you earlier, asks kinda overwhelm me sometimes and then i just kinda forget but i did not want to forget about your message!) i think it's easy for me to forget that i'm not actually shouting to the void (which is what being on tumblr feels like for me a lot of the time) and i'm happy to hear that you've found some kind of comfort/ help through my posts! it makes me happy to know that you've used my ramblings to reflect and try to bring about positive change in your own life! when i post my ramblings i don't really think that my words impact anyone else so ty for this message! it mades me feel useful and less lonely on here! <3 i hope you're having a good day!
#tumblr has felt weird to me lately but this was such a nice message to come back to#i think about how i've seen people talk about feeling lonely on here and i guess that's how i've been feeling#but this was a needed reminder that you are seen even when you think no one sees you someone does#people resonate
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Tender - Azriel x reader - Pregnancy fic. Fem! reader. LONG!!!
Prompt - Hi! I just read most of your imagines, and i loved them! You have me as your faithful follower, I don't comment much because English is not my first language. Could you write one where az manages to perceive that reader is pregnant right in the middle of the war?
You woke to yelling. Not screaming. Not fear or pain, but battle cries that you'd grown to love. They made your blood sing in harmony with the Illyrian voices. It made your heart hammer in your chest, and your muscles tense - ready to fight. Azriel groaned beside you, curling around your waist like a vise. You managed to break free from his muscled arms. Pale light shining through the tent tinted his shadows a light gray. They wrapped around you, drawing a chill down your spine. The war cries grew louder. "Get up. It's time." You shook him, pulling on your light armor. He covered his face with his hands, and did not leave the cot. He groaned again when you pulled the blanket off his mostly naked body. He was never a morning person. Cassian rushed in when you were putting the last of your gear on, and Az froze. His grip on his pants went white knuckled. Cassian's face was pale, and before he could say anything Azriel was hurriedly pulling on the rest of his clothes. Your stomach dropped at the sight of the Warlord. "It's a diversion." You said, voice hollow. Cassian's slight nod was enough to make the breath leave you. "It's going to be fine." Azriel grunted, pulling his tunic over his head. "We just need to move the troops. Get Rhys here." He waved a hand at his brother dismissively. Cassian grabbed Az's wrist. He forced the male to look at him, to see his worried eyes. You tensed, ready to defend your mate even against Cassian's might. "Rhys is on the battlefield already. We're on our own." His voice was low, and the warning in his eyes was enough to make the hair on your arms raise. Azriel pulled away from him, slowly. He began strapping his weapons belts on, pushed his hair back and sighed. "Where do you need us?" The air was cold, and the howls of battle echoed across the hills. Azriel's shadows curled around your legs, comforting. Then they slithered their way across the valley where the battle was beginning. + You could barely raise your sword by the end of it. The mud had been the most challenging part of the entire fight. The enemy horses had done a good job of making obstacles when they fell in the mud, lame with broken ankles and necks. You wished to put them out of their misery, but there was no time. The forces seemed to come in waves. Like a test against your small unit. Few were lost from your side. The dewey grass steamed in the morning light, carrying up the reek of enemy blood with it. You wiped your face, trying to get the taste of dirt and blood out of your mouth. Sharp stinging pain seared your ribs under your arm. You hissed. Then, you felt the warmth of your own blood. You swore, and looked for a medic that wasn't tending to wounded on the ground. Some Illyrian bodies were being lifted away, high into the air for burial at their homes. You dared not take a healer away from more critically injured soldiers. You nodded grimly to the ones that you passed. They were covered in blood, and yet still gave you fierce grins when you went by. They respected you. More than any other Illyrian Female before you. It was sad, but you hoped to forge a new path for other females of Illyria. You held an arm under your side and limped your way out of the mud. The packed mess inside your boots made moving your feet hard. You couldn't wait to shower. You spotted Cassian far down the field, and watched as he raised his sword high over his head. Your stomach twisted in pity for the suffering animal under him. You looked away before you could see the lifeblood drain from the horse's neck. He sent a blessing to the Mother for the animal, and continued on to the next suffering soul that would meet its end via his blade. + You hadn't seen her in a long while. Too long for a friend, but she gave you that same look she always did when she saw you hobbling up to her for help. Jeva was your favorite healer, and one you knew could keep a secret. She was round, and her voice was light and comforting. She smelled of nutmeg and berries. Something you had appreciated about her since you had met. "What is it this time?" She waved you inside, holding the tent flap open for you while you dumped your battle stained gear on the wood hutch beside the entrance. The tent was light and airy, filled with small plants of different varieties and cluttered with boxes and books everywhere. Her desk and bed were shoved to the corner, and a long wood table took up the majority of her area. As if she had known you were coming, she already had potions of different types laid out on the end of the table. "Probably nothing." You said, pulling off your armor as gingerly as you could manage. The soft light flickered and changed to a harsh beam when she laid you down on her exam table. "I'm not supposed to be healing anymore you know. I'm retired." She clicked her tongue at you, earning a pained grin. It was hard for you to bother a healer for any amount of time for something that you were sure was so small. But something about it stung too much for it to be just a scrape. And you knew Cassian would lecture you about it being infected if he saw through your mask to the pain. Az would force you to see one anyway as soon as he learned of it. "You know I wouldnt be here unless I had to be, Jeva." You said through your teeth as she cut away your muddied undershirt. "Oh, I know. That's why I have my best potions ready." She laughed, then paused. Your shirt lay limp on the table. Her eyebrows knitted together at the sight of your open wound. "Is it bad?" You asked, craning to try to look for yourself. She held you down. "Metal. Fragments are still in here, likely why it hasn't healed yet." You relaxed at that, grateful that it wasn't worse. "Thank the Mother. Az would have yelled all night." You rolled your eyes, and sighed as she started working on you. The first part was always the worst. The stinging hot potion that made the nerves around the wound numb. "One-" She began her countdown, then poured. You growled at her, gripping the end of the stained table hard enough to crack. "Easy..." She warned, and smoothed down your hair. She knew how to take care of her patients, that was certain. You relaxed as the stinging eased. The dull ache that it left behind turned into a bad memory. "I'm going to extract the blade then we can close you up. Simple and easy." She picked up her tools and began tugging away at your side. You could have fallen asleep with the relief the numbing potion brought. And with her humming in the air around you, it was a struggle not to. The time seemed to pass quickly, but when the clank of the metal tools jolted you from your dozing, the tent was lit in orange from the sunset outside. "Relax, we're going to close it up now. Once the potion wears off you will still be sensitive." She placed her hands over you, and the familiar warm vibrations of her healing magic set in. Then it stopped abruptly. You cracked open an eye, then narrowed your brows at her. "What is it?" You said gently, then again when she didnt reply. She stared at you, mouth agape. Her eyes locked to yours, even when you sat up to demand she tell you what the problem was. "Am I dying?!" you took her hand gently, in case she was going to push you away. Then she started laughing, her hand gripping yours back. The warmth glowed in your palm, the light radiating out from it was starkly contrasting the tent walls bedecked in orange. The light she emitted shot through you, and you felt the wound tingle, and seal. You stared at her in shock. That amount of healing power was incredible. Especially for field medics. "Youre not dying, no..." She waved a hand, fanning herself. Her eyes were glassy with tears. She sniffed and clutched your hand tighter. "Quite the opposite, darling." She pulled you in for a warm hug. + You spent the rest of the evening with Jeva. Until she got a hurried message about student healers needing help on the battlefield. You stayed in her tent as long as you could manage with the ringing in your ears. You stared and stared at the mirror across from you, showing you the bloodied warrior that you wanted to be. That you wanted to stay. The warrior that carried the Shadowsinger's child. The thought made tears sting your eyes. You refused to let them fall. You had been ignoring his tugs down the bond for well over an hour. You knew he was concerned, but you couldn't bring yourself to shout back down. The only thing that echoed in your mind were Jeva's words "You're pregnant..." Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. You nearly punched her when she told you she wasn't joking. The only reason you even believed her was because of that powerful zap of healing she sent to you. That she sent to scan your body and make sure the fetus was okay before you even knew about it. You could barely hear half the words she said as she told you your options. You roiled with the thought now. The Mugwart she left on the table was daunting. You desperately wanted her back. Jeva would be able to deliberate with you. You knew she would tell you to do whatever makes you happy. You knew that. But you wondered how ethical the choice that made you happy was. Bringing a child into a world of war seemed cruel. Even if it made you happy. You distantly noticed Azriel as you passed him, walking to the forest edge just passed your tent. Worry laced the bond between you. You tried not to show anything back. But you knew he felt the tension, the void there. "Where the hell have you been?!" Azriel's eyes were furious when you passed him, his wings flared out slightly. You couldnt even look at him with anger back. Your emotions ran wild. You were frozen, and as numb as the potion Jeva had given you when she began removing the blade. "Do you know how worried I have been?! I sent Cassian to-" He tried to grab for your hand to stop you, but you flicked him away. He stopped for a moment, stunned. Then returned with more energy than before. That yawning abyss in your bond was growing darker with shame, worry and anxiety. His shadows roiled around him as he caught up. "You dont get to-" "Azriel..." You stopped in the edge of the clearing. The small meadow was silent in the darkness, not even the monsters of Prythian dared roar tonight. Your mind did all the roaring you could handle, anyway. You tried to focus on the swaying grass, on the soft smell of wet bark and pine hanging in the air. "Dont try to excuse this I need to know you're okay and-" He stormed in front of you, ready to burst with rage. His fear always made him angry. And for good reason after losing so many close to him. A tear ran down your cheek, your face burned hot with hundreds of feelings at once. Fear, pain, shock, joy, hope.... elation. You wanted his children. You wanted to help raise his child. You wanted to see Azriel be a father. You knew he would be the best damn Illyrian father there had ever been. The thought hit you like a well placed punch. He saw your paleness, your tears and stopped his yelling. You fell to your knees, the mud splattering all around you. You wanted to lay down. Lay down and think about the implications of carrying his child. Would it be good for the baby to be born at all? Just because you wanted it didnt mean it needed to happen. You knew that Jeva would give you a potion to extract it without hesitation if it was what you wished. "I'm-" You choked out, fighting the panic that flooded you. Your mind roiled with the conflict of your mind and heart. It turned you into a muddied, dark ocean on the bond. A turmoil that he couldn't see past. If you were an ocean, he was your lighthouse on the cliffside. Signaling you home. His eyes darted to your body, to your hands and how they wrung together in front of you. "I'm sorry. I just-" He sighed and took one of your hands. "I'm sorry." He kissed the back of it and brought his forehead to yours. He normally needed a lot longer to cool down after a fight, but seeing you in tears shocked him out of his pride. "I shouldn't have said that... I know you can take care of yourself." his voice was low, and he ran a hand comfortingly down your back. A hysteric laugh bubbled from your throat. It sounded like a sob. You didn't know exactly which it was. He sat back and pulled you into his lap, despite the grass being dewey and damp. He rocked you there for a few seconds before you had to tell him. Before he could be too close if he didnt want you anymore. The doubt crept into your head, and the nerves ate at you. Your heart raced, you could feel it in your neck. "Azriel..stop." You pushed away from him, to catch his beautiful dark eyes. They were painted in a silver hue by the moon above. You took in his face, the curve of his cheeks and lips for possibly the last time. You had to consider the worst possible outcome. You braced yourself for the rejection, for the pain of his reaction. You knew it had to come out. You knew you had to say it now or you never would. Your stomach flipped over and over. You opened your mouth, a soft sob wracking out of you before you began. He froze. Went utterly still, his shadows even stopping for a second before whirling faster than before. Your eyes went wide. His nose flared, eyes narrowed. He held you closer, sniffing at your neck. He pulled back and his eyes were even wider than before. His mouth fell open when you nodded. "I'm-" "Youre-" his face went through a whirlwind of different emotion. Then, he broke out into a small laugh. He couldn't stop. You felt the tears running down your cheeks and didnt bother to wipe them away. "Honey... I'm sorry." He stopped laughing suddenly. "What do you want to do?" His eyes were masked, his expression the most serious you'd ever seen him. His aura on your bond seemed to go completely gray and still, as if he didn't want you to see him. He masked everything. In preparation for whatever you decide. The gesture made your heart squeeze in appreciation. You stammered, resting your forehead on his. "I dont know." You muttered, voice cracking. Then, he was wrapping his arms around you in a smothering hug. When he pulled away, he cradled your face in his hands. The hands that had seen so much cruelty in his life. The possibilities of the same thing happening to your child made your heart race. "I'm here for whatever decision you make." He brushed your cheek with a thumb. You nodded and let him hold you like that for a while. Quietly rocking back and forth with you in his lap. + You were near falling asleep when the war cries rang out again. Illyrians howling for their leaders to join them. Another onslaught of death coming their way. The calls were distant, but Azriel tensed the second he heard them. Your blood went cold. He buried his face to your chest, as if he wished he could hide there. "I'm not going." He said when you tried pushing him away. "I wont leave you." He promised, locking his muscled forearms around you. The echoes of battle cries faded. He stroked your hair, and traced his fingers along your back. Then he swore. "Let me take care of this." He said, voice edged with anger. Nerves pricked at your stomach, but you stood, wobbling on your feet slightly. He took off into the night sky painted in silvers and blues by the full moon. Then came racing back down right behind Rhys. the high lord took one breath and then he was hugging his brother. Azriel shoved him off, and they shot into the night sky. Well, Azriel did. He dragged Rhys with him. Grunts of pain and fleshy sounds of punching rang out. You followed them high into the air where they had their conversation. Your wings led you around them with ease. "Stop fighting and use your words, boys." You warned. You recognized Azriels growl and smiled to yourself as they broke apart. Rhys adjusted his tunic and cleared his throat. "I need you there. Cassian is handling the Western front, the others need a leader." Azriel began protesting against the high lord. "I cant with my mate-" "I know it feels impossible right now but-" "I will not, Rhys-" You set your jaw. If they wanted to fight over if you needed protection or not, you would take the option off the table all together. "I'll go." you said, voice strong since hearing Jeva announce what grew inside you. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. You shoved the thoughts away as far as you could. They both turned to you, horror striking Azriels features. "Absolutely not. No." Heat and rage flared down the bond. It made you want to defy everything he said. You locked eyes with him and glared. Rhys glanced between you with tense shoulders. He cleared his throat. "It would be a good compromise, Azriel. You can go together to the Eastern front. Think about it." He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder and gave him a grim smile. "I wont say a word." He said, summoning the darkness around him then winnowing away. Azriel's cold eyes made him look like a statue. "Let's go." He said, and started circling lower. Back to the meadow. "I'm going, you cant stop me from following you." You said, expecting a fight. He said nothing. You were met with that silence that drove others crazy tryin to find out what he wanted from them. The bond seemed to snap taut, then go into a relaxed state. He was hiding. You knew it, but would rather have silence and peace than him trying to fight you again. He walked you back to the tent, and exhaustion took you under before you could remember him laying down with you. You hoped it it was exhaustion, and not whatever the baby was doing to you. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't resist the urge to cradle your belly while you slept. There was no bump, but it felt like the most natural thing to do now that you were aware of the being inside you. You slept hard, and awoke to the breakfast bell chiming. The sounds of slow footsteps marching through the mud kept you awake. Azriel was gone, but the candle on the table was lit. A note lay there waiting for you. His messy scrawl made you smile, the familiarity of his writing reminded you of the notes he would leave you when he had to leave early for meetings with Rhys. "Back by nightfall, lover. A guard is at the tent, ask her to bring you anything you need. -A" You peeked outside the tent to see Jeva there, her long fur coat shimmering in the morning light. Her breath clouded in front of her when she gave you a soft smile. "Good morning." She pulled a muffin from her coat. "Your favorite." She winked, and you pulled her inside. She had a fire roaring by the time you finished your food. "How are you not freezing?" She complained, blowing into her hands to keep them warm. You brushed the crumbs from your shirt and really took into account the changes you'd noticed lately. How hungry you'd been, how tired after the easiest days. "Do you know... How um..." You gestured to your stomach. She gave a small smile and nodded. "Only a month or so." She said quietly. You stared at your stomach, as if waiting for something to answer you. To give some sort of affirmation that Jeva was right. She continued warming herself by the fire, and soon the tent was filled with her warm chestnut smell. Cassian entered the tent when you were starting to doze off again. The wool blanket on your lap reminded you of a time when you first met Az. Your heart squeezed at the memory of those long nights shared together by a fire. Taking your turns on watch duty. You shook yourself from the memory. Cassian froze. His face scrunched up at the sight of you. The scent, you realised. You swore to yourself, and Jeva only nodded when he looked to her. "Youre pregnant?" He asked breathlessly, and you could smell the fear and excitement coming from him. In fact, you could smell the smoked meat on his breath. And the cold air that clung to him from outside. It was refreshing, like a cool drink on a hot day amid the dry heat inside the tent. "I'm sorry, I shouldnt have.." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to remain focused. "Its okay, Cass. What's going on? Az left me this note." You handed it to him. His lips moved as he read it. He went white as bone. Your stomach dropped. + Azriel had gone in the night to take out the entire eastern flank with a small group of Illyrians. You felt your world skittering away as Cassian told you. Your vision went blurry, and tears fell, dripping on your hands that clenched the wool blanket. "He's on his way here now. He had to answer to Rhys first." Cassian waited for you to say anything. But your lips just couldnt form the words. The hurt, anger... the betrayal you felt for him going to battle without you. And defying a direct order from his high lord like a fool. "I suggest you leave before Azriel comes back. It may get messy." Jeva spoke for you, and you were grateful. You gave Cassian a nod of thanks before he turned and left. The cold wind that blew in from the door gave you goosebumps. "Take it easy, you dont want to be too stressed." Jeva handed you a mug of tea and gave you a small squeeze. You could smell Azriel before he entered. Jeva shot him a glare, but said nothing. "I'll be in my tent if you need me." She promised, gave you a look that said 'find me after' and left. Azriel took off his armor plates one by one. A bit too slowly to be considered normal. Stalling. You said nothing. You let the tension roil out of you, let it hit him down the bond. Like a wave getting ready to break. He rolled his shoulders, stretched his wings. The mask he wore cracked when he saw your fists balled in the blanket. "I couldnt risk you... or the babe." He tried to hide the fear that shone through. The fear of his mate or child being hurt in battle. He wouldnt be able to stand it. The fight was needed, anyway. He needed to get out his instincts to protect protect protect. You said nothing. You let that looming wave grow larger. He sighed, and sat at the end of the cot beside you. "I'm sorry. I needed....I needed to get my head straight. I should have told you. I'm sorry." That wave crashed, not on him though. Internally, guilt and fear melting in on yourself. "I cant lose you, we... We cant." You said through your teeth, trying to hold back the tears that begged to spill over. He tried his best to hold back his surprise. "We?" He asked, a small smile playing on his full lips. You gave him a grim smile. "If you're...ready to be a father. I like imagining you, with my child." "Our child." He said with a bubbling laugh. You laughed with him, and it turned to hysterics. He wiped tears from the corner of your eyes. "We're going to have a baby?" He cradled your face, looking into your eyes. You took one of his hands, and placed it on your flat belly. "Yes. We are." You said, voice quivering. He wrapped you into a hug, and you cried together in the cot.
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The Babysitting Game
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, Grian doesn't have a child but he does have an egg and a village. That’s basically the same thing, right?
Grian acquires an egg. His friends help him.
No romantic relationships or content warnings. Mainly fluff! Hermits: Grian, Mumbo, Pearl, and Scar. My first publish fanfic since 2016 and my first hermitcraft fanfic :D ao3 link and some inspirations to be linked in a reblog
Words: 2862
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"What if I touched it really quick?" Scar asked.
"No, don’t-don’t touch the egg," Grian said seriously. "Look, I even made a sign! It specifically says ‘Do not touch.’" He gestured to the sign in question, but Scar ignored him.
"Can I rub it?" he said. The man leaned over it, studying the object carefully. Grian hadn’t known where to place the egg when he got it, and it was just sitting on an anvil for the time being. He didn’t even have a starter house yet, but clearly he was going to need something soon if he was going to protect the egg from some of the more . . . mischievous residents of their Boatem village.
“No, don’t touch the egg! Scar-” Grian walked closer, hands outstretched, just in time to see Scar reach out with his hand and pat the egg.
Vworp!
The egg disappeared into thin air.
Dragon eggs had a tendency to do that. It was a survival tactic--Grian didn't really know how it worked, but just as endermen could teleport away from danger, so could the egg if it were touched. Now whether or not Scar was dangerous remained up for debate…
Scar giggled. "Oh, where did you go?" he sang, hunting around the area.
Well, he COULD be pretty scary sometimes.
"Scarrrr," Grian whined, helping him look. "I told you not to touch it!"
"It's over here!" Scar shouted, finding the egg at the bottom of a small slope nearby. "Just one more time…." He reached out again.
"No!" Grian said, slapping his hand away. "Look, you've got to pick it up the right way." He demonstrated, carefully lifting the egg and placing it in a pouch slung over his back. He had hurriedly stitched it together not too long ago, worried that transporting the egg normally might break it. “If you do it roughly, you’ll scare it and it’ll teleport away again.”
"I see!" said Scar.
"Now, please, don't touch the egg.”
"Oh," Scar said. He straightened. "You're really serious about this."
Grian glared. "I am."
"I'm sorry, I just thought it was funny!"
Grian sighed. "It's okay, Scar. It's just--this thing is a baby, it needs to be handled gently! You can't just go around scaring it! What if it falls into a hole or something?" he hissed.
"Oh my god," Scar laughed, "you're its mother now!"
"No, no, I'm not!"
"You are!" Scar cried. He suddenly stopped. "Oh no, didn't you kill its mother?"
"Well it doesn't know that!" Grian snapped. "Truthfully I didn't realize there would be an egg! And I couldn't just leave it, you know! Here, look at this." Grian gently withdrew the egg from its pack, and Scar moved closer. He held it up to the sun. "Look at that."
The sun shined dark red through the deep purple shell of the egg, making it glow within. In the middle, the silhouette of a curled up creature was illuminated. Blood vessels radiated outward, and at the bottom there was a blank space that Grian assumed was air. The egg’s shell was too thick for any detail to be made out, but the processes happening within were clear. Grian was enchanted with it.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
"Wow," Scar breathed. "There's actually a dragon in there! What're you gonna do with it after it hatches?"
"Well, I haven't exactly thought that far--I just want to worry about keeping it safe first. I mean, what do you even do with this thing?" Grian put the egg back in its satchel, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I suppose you keep it warm and safe but, like, I don't know what else-"
"I could help!" Scar said.
"You were just playing with it!"
"Hey," Scar said defensively, "that was before I knew more about it!"
Grian rolled his eyes.
“What are you guys doing over here?” said Mumbo, wandering over. Grian just knew he’d been up to something, and sure enough, there was a new tree next to his little collection of chests. Grian wasn’t very bothered by it, because he already had a plan to get Mumbo back for it.
“Grian is just showing me his new baby!” Scar teased. “He’s a mom now.”
“I am NOT its mother,” replied Grian tiredly, but he smiled at the sight of the other man.
“A baby?” Mumbo asked, choosing to ignore the rest of Scar’s statement.
“A dragon egg,” Grian answered. “I found it in the End.” He paused for a moment, feeling almost bad. “After I killed the dragon.”
“Grian! You’ve orphaned it!” Mumbo sounded scandalized.
“Why do you all keep bringing that up!?” he defended, glancing between Mumbo and Scar, who both gave him disapproving, albeit playful, looks. “I know you’re Mr. Peace, Love and Plants this time, but we’ve always killed the dragon in every new world!”
“Well, I guess that’s true, but it is a little sad isn’t it? You’re taking care of it but only because you killed its mum.”
“Yeah,” was all Grian said. The dragon always needed to be taken care of in each new world they visited, and while it was always a bit of a shame, he’d never really contemplated it that much. After all, he normally wasn’t the one who fought it--that last time in Evo aside. He didn’t really know what he had gotten into but he felt deeply like he needed to protect this egg. It was like a tug in his chest, drawing him into the egg and telling him not to let go.
“Show him the egg!” Scar said.
“You just want to see it again,” Grian replied, but pulled the egg out of the satchel again anyway for Mumbo to see. The surface of the egg wasn’t smooth, like a chicken’s egg, but bumpy. The purple spots almost seemed to glow, and occasionally little violet particles drifted off of it. Grian felt like he could stare at it in awe all day, and apparently his friends felt the same.
“How’re you going to keep it warm?” asked Mumbo after a moment of admiring it. “That satchel isn’t going to be enough, and to be frank, I don’t see you spending any time sitting on it, even if the mental image is pretty funny.”
Grian rolled his eyes at the comment, but thought about it. How would he incubate it? He may have had wings, but he didn’t know anything about eggs, other than that it was a safe bet to assume it needed to be kept warm. “I'm not sure, actually.”
“Hey, let me design something for you!” Mumbo said excitedly. “I could probably use some redstone and make an incubator of some sort for you.”
Grian smiled. “I’d really appreciate that.”
Asking Mumbo to create a contraption for him--what could go wrong?
•·················•·················•
“I’m not wearing this thing, you know.” Grian said, holding the contraption while Mumbo wheezed with laughter in the background. The design that Mumbo had come up with was essentially a backpack with heating elements strung through it, except for one thing . . .
“You-you wear it in the front,” Mumbo choked out, wiping a tear from his eyes.
“Yes, I see that,” Grian replied, unamused.
“Like a swaddle!”
“Yes, I see that.”
Mumbo laughed harder. Grian had to begrudgingly admit that it was well designed, however. It would fit the egg perfectly, keep it warm, and most important it was mobile to ensure that he could take the egg with him. It was thoughtful, especially since Mumbo knew Grian was quite protective of it.
“I’m not wearing this thing,” Grian repeated. “I’m not going to let you all laugh at me while I walk around the server with an egg swaddled to me!”
“I thought you’d say that,” Mumbo chuckled. “Here, you can switch the straps around and turn it into a backpack.” He unclipped the straps and moved them into the new configuration.
“Thank you, Mumbo,” he said gratefully. “This will certainly do the trick.”
“Glad to hear it mate,” Mumbo replied. “Now, while you’re here, may I ask why there is an incredibly tall tree on top of my camper?”
“Sorry, got to go!” blurted Grian, snatching the backpack from Mumbo’s arms and flying off in a burst of feathers.
“That’s unfair, I don’t even have an elytra yet to go chase him down with,” muttered the man as he watched Grian disappear.
•·················•·················•
Grian sat in the grass in front of his starter home and rubbed his eyes wearily. He was exhausted. Is this how all parents feel? he wondered. Was he just uniquely unqualified to be one? After all, this was only an egg! It hadn’t even hatched yet and he was already tired of keeping up with it.
Carrying it in the backpack was heavy, and Grian tired out quickly. It was hot on his back, and Grian found himself having to take breaks to avoid overheating. It was also cumbersome, and he found it difficult to build with as it shifted his weight. He almost fell off the roof once while building it! Of course, having wings meant that Grian could catch himself easily, but it had still given him quite the scare. Dragon eggs were pretty sturdy, and would teleport themselves out of danger if possible, but he was still so paranoid about breaking it. And now there was the Boatem Hole to worry about--what if it teleported itself into the void? These things kept Grian awake at night.
But if he left it...well, just like Grian had a tendency to lose items in his chest monsters, he also had a tendency to forget where he placed things. He had been forced to go back and rescue the egg from some place he’d left it more than once, which he wasn’t exactly proud of. What sort of parent forgot their child?
. . . He was definitely not admitting to being its parent.
Oh God, what did I get myself into?
“Hey Grian, what’re you up to?” came a voice, interrupting his thoughts. He looked up and saw Pearl standing over him. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail and her hands were in her hoodie pockets. She took a seat on the ground next to him, and followed his gaze overlooking the Boatem village. “What’s on your mind?”
“This--this egg,” said Grian. It sat next to him in its backpack, still radiating heat. “I don’t know what to do with it. I’m just so tired of carrying it around!”
“I have to admit,” Pearl said, “I didn’t expect you to immediately adopt a baby dragon the very next time I saw you.”
“Yeah, well, it was an accident.” Grian groaned. “I don’t know what to do with it now, let alone when it hatches!”
Pearl thought for a moment. “You know, the rest of us are all here for you. The other hermits would be happy to help out, I’m sure.”
The other hermits . . . well of course they would. If it was one thing they were all good at, it was supporting each other. Scar had already taken a particular interest in the egg, although Grian was still a little suspicious of him scaring it again. Mumbo had specially designed an incubator for it. Pearl was visiting him to check up on him and offer help.
All Grian had to do was convince himself to let it go. To let them help.
“I know that but . . .”
“But what? Have you had any reason to believe they wouldn’t?” Pearl asked.
“Well, no.” He thought for a while. He thought of how his friends would lend materials when needed, or how they’d help replace someone’s armor and items if they were lost. He thought about the days where they all teamed up and chose one hermit to help out, and he thought about all the things they did for the good of the entire community without even being asked.
His desire to protect the egg was strong, and putting it into the hands of another person almost felt like simultaneously a betrayal of the egg itself and the biggest leap of faith he could take. But the hermits were good at leaps of faith, because someone was always there to catch you.
“You think it’d be okay?”
“I know it’ll be okay,” Pearl replied. “I haven’t been here very long but from what I’ve seen, I know they’d all help. They wouldn’t hurt it. They might be a little mischievous sometimes,” she said, glancing at Scar’s house, “but they know how important it is and would be happy to help. They helped you before, didn’t they?”
Pearl was right, of course. Nobody on the server had any desire to hurt the egg. He trusted that. If there was anyone that he could trust, it was them.
But how would he get them all to essentially sign up for babysitting?
An idea struck him, and Grian scrambled to his feet. “Pearl, you’re brilliant. Thank you!”
She blinked, a little startled. “Always happy to help.”
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Grian stood back, admiring his work. A near perfect duplicate of the egg that was currently sitting in the backpack slung around his shoulder, but at a much larger scale. It was built out of obsidian blocks and crying obsidian for the spots, and if Grian was pretty proud of how it looked.
If Grian knew anything, it was that his friends loved minigames. And Grian was not above gently exploiting that fact to get a little help--just like barge game from the last world, where he managed to get his friends to help mine out the stone from next to his mansion. Just slap the title of “game” on something and you could get a hermit to sign up for anything.
“Now . . . I just have to write the signs on the inside.”
The game Grian had come up with was officially called Tegg--he needed to stay on brand with his tag games in every world--but he’d mentally been calling it “The Babysitting Game” for a while now. Because that’s what it really was--each hermit who signed up would also sign up to watch the egg and keep it safe. He set to work outlining the rules.
RULE ONE: Protect the egg and keep it safe.
RULE TWO: Keep the egg incubated or it’ll die.
RULE THREE: Keep a close eye on the egg.
RULE FOUR: Call Grian if it starts to hatch.
Satisfied, he wrote out the rest of the instructions. Because it was a game, he wanted to make it fun for the hermits too, so he’d decided to make it like a scavenger hunt. People were allowed to take the egg, provided they adhered to the rules, and were encouraged to hide it and keep it safe. Otherwise, someone else who wanted to have it could get it. The safer the egg was, the less likely for someone else to find it. The winner was whoever had the egg the longest when it finally hatched. Grian didn’t know how long that would take, but he didn’t want to miss it either, hence rule four.
Yep, totally outsourcing his babysitting onto his friends.
Grian squinted at his wall of signs, before placing one final sign at the bottom: Grian will track the game and has final say on points and rules!
“That should do it,” he mumbled. He still wanted to keep an eye on the egg, to make sure that he knew who had it and how many people’s hands it had gone through. After all, he was the one ultimately responsible for it.
Grian pulled the egg out of the backpack and carefully placed it on the ground. He’d somehow made a habit of just speaking to it every now and then--he had no idea if the little dragon could hear anything in there, but he liked to think that it could. “Hey there,” he whispered, and stroked the top of the egg. “Some new people are going to start taking you pretty soon, but it’s okay. They’re going to give me some help and make sure you’re safe.”
He paused, taking in the little room he’d made and the wall of signs he’d written with meticulous instructions for the egg’s care. It may have been the first thing he’d built for this egg, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be his last. A baby dragon was a commitment and for the first time Grian really let himself think about what that meant, beyond just an egg that he had to carry around. Would he house it? Train it? Let it stay by his side? Would he love it?
I think I already do, he thought.
He thought of the hermits--their mischievousness, their pranks, their hard work, their friendship, and their goodness at heart. They were his family, now. What was one more addition?
“It’s okay,” he whispered to the egg. “I trust them all with my life, but more importantly, I trust them with yours.”
#hermitcraft#hermitblr#grian#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#hermitcraft fanfic#quara fanfic
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All I Know
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word Count: 3131
A/N: Literally only wrote this part because I felt bad that I totally missed the part where the anon asked me to write the bridge to the song. So. Enjoy.
Taglist: @mionemymind, @supersourlemon13, @peabrain112, @olsensnpm, @invictusbabey, @idek-5, @vancityfire13
Last Kiss (Part One) // Drabbles [untitled] (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) // Breathe (It’s Out Of My Hands) (Part Six)
“You don’t have to go.” You can hear the pain in Tony’s voice.
You weren’t dumb. You weren’t blind. You knew that leaving would break your friends’ hearts.
But staying would only break yours more.
“I can’t stay, Tony.”
Two years. For two years after Wanda left, you had stayed.
But you couldn’t do it anymore. One could only take so much before reaching their breaking point. And it looked like you just reached yours.
---
In a daze you staggered out of the venue. Ignoring the worried shouts of your friends behind you, you got into your car and drove off.
You had no destination in mind. There was no plan anymore. All you knew was that everything you ever wanted was gone.
Your phone kept ringing beside you but you didn’t answer it. Eventually the battery died and you were left in silence. It was then, and only then, that you let yourself fall apart.
A sob tore through your throat as you slammed your fists down on the steering wheel. Over and over again it came down. Each time it made contact a new question popped into your head.
How hadn’t you seen this coming? Were there just things you never caught on to?
Was Wanda feeling this way the entirety of your relationship? The doubt, the uncertainty of it all, how did she hide it from you?
And the most important question of them all: how could Wanda tell you that she didn’t know if she ever loved you if she was the first one to say it?
All you had were questions after questions and no one to help you answer them.
Tears streamed down your face and you gasped for air. Your chest was too tight. Everything hurt and you wanted it to stop. How do I get it to stop?
It was dark by the time you pulled up to your shared apartment. Entering, you found it void of most of Wanda’s things. You walked your empty halls, a hollow feeling in your chest as you noted all of the things that were missing.
Wanda’s guitar.
Her favorite jacket.
The box where she stored all of her rings.
Each absent object only made everything seem more real.
There had been a letter left behind for you on the dining room table. You didn’t want to read it. But you did it anyways, hoping that it would give you some closure.
It didn’t.
In it, Wanda once again apologized for ending things the way she did. For not realizing how she was feeling until the day of the wedding. She thanked you for loving her with all of your heart for the past three years, even when she wasn’t sure that she felt the same way. At the bottom it said that she’d come back for the rest of her things at a later date.
She never did.
---
“Holy shit. When you moved from Tennessee did you bring your entire wardrobe with you?”
Your remark gets you a fairly accurate hit on the head by a crumpled up piece of paper, but at this point you didn’t care. You and Wanda were packing up all of her things, getting ready to move them into the new apartment the two of you had just leased together. But if you had to pack up another box of clothes, you were going to scream.
“Stop being so dramatic. I don’t have that many things.”
You narrow your eyes at your girlfriend, who was currently sitting on top of her bed, watching you shove her clothes into boxes. You’re starting to wonder how you even got roped into packing up her things for her in the first place while she got to sit peacefully upon her made-up throne.
“Wanda. We’ve already packed five boxes of clothes. And that’s not even mentioning the closet full of things you already have at my current place.”
That earns you a sheepish smile sent your way. “Okay, so I may have gone a little overboard with the whole shopping thing once I moved here. But can you blame me? It’s New York.”
Groaning, you leave the half-packed box on the ground and join her on her bed. You guys had been at this for hours. All you wanted to do was cuddle with your girlfriend but the two of you were running on a deadline, neither of you realizing how much you actually had to pack before needing to move out of your own places.
“(Y/N).” She wraps her arms around your neck, pressing her body close to yours. You raise an eyebrow but she’s quick to bat her eyelashes at you. “You know I love you, right?”
You roll your eyes at her clear attempt at persuading you to continue packing up her things. You want to stand firm. Put your foot down. Say no.
But you always were a sucker for green-eyed beauties that had your heart.
Huffing, you give her the light kiss she was looking for before grumbling out a “you’re lucky you’re cute.”
The smug look that stays on her face for the hours to come only makes you regret not backing out when you had the chance.
---
About a year and a half after Wanda left, Natasha had gotten a letter in the mail.
Cautiously approaching you, the redhead brought up the wedding invitation.
You weren’t sure whether or not you should laugh or cry. It had only taken Wanda a little over a year to move on. Guess that told you all you needed to know about what you had meant to the other woman.
Despite what had happened between you and Wanda, you knew that Wanda was still one of Natasha’s best friends. No matter how heartbroken you were, you would never make Natasha choose between the two of you. With your blessing Natasha had flown to Tennessee.
Tony had refused to speak to the redhead for weeks leading up to the event. He seemed to take more offense than you did at Wanda’s actions. It wasn’t until you pleaded with him not to drive off any more of your friends that he relented.
So here you were now, sitting on the floor of your apartment, wearing one of Wanda’s sweaters that she never ended up coming back to get. Her scent had long faded, but a messed up part of you still felt comforted by the thought of your former lover.
Opening instagram for the first time in months, you felt your heart drop. You had been expecting it. But that didn’t mean it hurt any less.
Staring back at you was a picture of a smiling Wanda, dressed in all white, dancing with a tall blonde man---Vision, you assumed.
She looked beautiful. Ethereal. The picture of a perfect goddess. Even after all this time, your heart still raced at the sight of her.
Your eyes were drawn to the smile on Wanda’s face. She looked so happy. So relaxed. A vast contrast from the last time you saw her.
Ignoring the burning in your eyes, you let your eyes drift down to the caption.
[Vis, you are my light, my joy, my love. It took over ten years in the making, but I am so happy to be able to spend the rest of my life by your side.]
Every word felt like a punch to the gut.
You were just a bump in her journey to find love. Just a slight detour she took before getting back on track to Vision.
Honestly, you didn’t know how you didn’t see it before. She was the one to kiss you first. The one who told you she was in love first. Always the one to do everything first.
You were just the fool who never thought that she’d be the first one to say goodbye as well.
---
“Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
The question had rolled off your tongue in the late hours of the night, just as the two of you settled down into bed together.
Wanda props her head up as she looks over at you, confused by the seemingly random question. But she takes it in stride, only taking a few moments to think it through before giving you an honest answer. “Maybe somewhere in New Jersey. I always wanted to live by the beach. Watch the waters roll in.”
You pull a face at her response. “Okay, ouch. I see that I’m not included in your plans.”
“Oh hush.” Wanda rolls her eyes as she playfully pokes at you. You laugh and try to squirm out of the way when her arms wrap around you, trapping you against the bed. “I can see myself somewhere in New Jersey, married to you. And who knows, maybe we’ll have some kids as well. Make us put a little effort into it. After all, can’t make life too easy for us.”
You felt your lips curl up into a smile at the thought of a future together. “Really?”
Wanda stares down at you, a fond look on her face as she traces every inch of your body with her eyes. “Of course. As long as I’m by your side, the possibilities are endless.”
---
The night Natasha got back the whole crew met up for drinks. She avoided you the whole night, warily watching the way you kept trying to approach her. But she could only evade you for so long.
“How is she?”
“(Y/N).” The pity you saw reflected in her eyes only made you want to rip out your hair. You were tired of people looking at you like that. Like you were a useless, broken hearted, fragile person. But you guess you couldn’t blame her. Because in part, you were exactly that.
“Please, Nat. I need to know. I need to know that her breaking my heart was worth it. That even though I feel like I’m missing a piece of me, she has that happy ending she always wanted.”
And you meant it. Even now, nearly two years later, you still loved her. It didn’t matter that you were barely holding yourself together. It would all be worth it if Wanda was at peace with her decision.
The redhead sighs, massaging her temples. She knew that you wouldn’t leave her alone until she gave you an answer. So she told you the truth. “Yes. Wanda, she… she’s happy.”
And with those words you could feel all of the tension that you had been holding slip off your shoulders.
Wanda was happy. She was living the life she always wanted.
But just not with you.
You give Natasha a small nod, trying to hide the fact that you felt like every nerve was being set on fire again. You knew you weren’t fooling anyone. But no one called you out on it.
And that was the last time anyone spoke of Wanda again.
---
“Was that the Yellow Bridge Company calling again?”
You laugh, shaking your head at Wanda’s words. “If you meant Golden Gate Co., then yes.”
The San Francisco based company had been hot on your tail ever since you graduated from college, offering you position after position at their branch on the west coast. You don’t know how many times you’d declined, but they always seemed to have a spot open for you there.
You guess there was a plus side to being associated with a Stark.
“What is this, the third time they’ve offered you a position there? They must really want you.”
You shrug before throwing a wink at your girlfriend. “What can I say, I’m hot in demand.”
You were expecting an eyeroll or a snort at your words, but her green eyes only darken as she turns her back to you, walking away towards the window overlooking the city.
You’re taken off guard by the sudden change in the air, silently watching Wanda’s shoulders hunch up as she wrapped her arms around herself.
Seconds pass, and then minutes. As the silence drags on, the tension in the apartment only rises. You’re about to walk over and break the silence when Wanda does it herself.
“I don’t want you to leave.” The words were whispered out, almost as if she was afraid of voicing them out loud.
And in that moment you knew she was talking about more than just the job.
“Wanda.” Making your way over to her, you slowly wrap your arms around her waist. Wanda’s hands instantly find yours, intertwining them where they rested over her stomach. She instantly relaxes into your arms and you press a kiss to her check before resting your head on her shoulder.
“Why would I ever want to go? I have everything I need right here.”
---
The day you decided to take the job in California was also the worst day of your post-Wanda life.
The company on the west coast had offered you the job three times already, but each time the offer came you had declined. Your excuses back when they first offered it to you were that your family, your friends, your whole life was here. There was no reason for you to uplift it all.
And then Wanda happened.
You were even more confident in your decision to stay in New York after you met the brunette. With her friendship and then eventually her love you felt like you had all you needed here. There was no reason to look any further.
But then she left.
With Wanda gone you felt like a ghost living a life that you couldn’t make sense of anymore. You went from nights watching the love of your life sleeping beside you to nights laying awake in a bed that was too empty. You went from mornings waking up to kisses on cheeks to mornings waking up alone, feeling ten times more tired than you were when you went to bed the night before.
But you trudged through it all. For two years you kept going even though every bone in your body wanted you to stop.
And then came the morning you woke up and realized you couldn’t remember when you had your last kiss.
Chest heaving, tears falling down your face, you racked your memories for all the good times you ever shared with Wanda, but you couldn’t remember it. How could you forget? She was the best thing to ever happen to you and now everything was starting to slip away.
Your heart clenched painfully at the thought that she’d forget it all one day too, albeit it’d probably be less painful for her.
And with your heart ripping all over again, you steadied your breath and called the company back. And you accepted their job offer.
---
“You don’t have to go.” You can hear the pain in Tony’s voice.
You weren’t dumb. You weren’t blind. You knew that leaving would break your friends’ hearts.
But staying would only break yours more.
“I can’t stay, Tony.” You sigh, placing the last of the boxes into your car. The day for you to leave was finally here but your friends weren’t exactly making it easy for you to go.
That morning you had woken to Thor and Steve trying to tow away your car. All it took was a disappointed look from you for them to unhook your car from their truck.
Sam and Bucky had tried to guilt you into staying, saying that you needed to be in town in order to stop everyone from killing each other. Your dissenting argument was that all they needed to do was to stop trying to kill each other to begin with. They had no other argument prepared.
Clint and Natasha were the only ones that managed to get the others to back off.
And now it was just you and Tony.
Tony was like a brother for you, his family taking you in after your parents passed away while you were pretty young. You grew up with him, learning all the ins and outs of running a business, but you never took anything from them. Not even when they offered to let you head a section of Stark Industries. Out of everyone, he was the one you wanted to leave behind the least. But you knew you had to go.
“Everywhere I look I see pieces of a relationship that could have been everything. It’s been two years and I’m still as in love with her as I was that first night we met.”
Dressed to the blues, you had thought that Wanda was the most beautiful woman you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. Laughing away the night over some weird detail of the opera performance that only the two of you had caught onto. The feeling of awe and amazement at meeting someone that seemed to know you so well.
The feeling of knowing that she could be the one.
“She’s the only thing on my mind, but I know that she’s not thinking of me anymore.”
Your mind drifts back to the post you had seen the other day. One of a sonogram. Twins.
“And all I know is that I don’t know how to be something she misses.”
You give Tony a sad smile. One that you know that he’ll probably remember for years to come. You know that you will definitely remember this day for years to come.
It’ll sit next to the memory of what should have been the happiest day of your life. Next to the memory of the name that will forever be on your lips. Of the woman you loved with all your heart but changed her mind just as you were getting ready to start the new chapter of your life.
You’ll forever remember this memory of the loving friends you once had.
The ones you were walking away from.
“I need to move on with my life and stop loving a ghost.”
Tony pulls you into an embrace and you let yourself melt into it. He holds on tight and you realize that it’s been a while since anyone has touched you like this. “Take care of yourself.” The words are whispered into your hairline as his arms briefly tighten before slowly letting go.
And with one last look, you get into your car.
As you drive away from the only place you’ve ever called home, there’s only one thought on your mind.
Maybe one day Wanda will see something that reminds her of you. Maybe one day she’ll wish that she had stayed. Maybe one day she’ll come back.
But all you knew for certain was that you couldn’t plan for people changing their minds.
#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff imagine#mcu x reader#song fic#series#Ace writes
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Unspoken (Bucky Barnes imagine)
Request by @screechingdreamercollectorsblog : the reader lost all her family and also a twin sister. She’s in love with Bucky but he doesn't know and no one knows her story except Steve but he never told it as it was her decision. One day Wanda tells her "you don't know what it’s like to lose somebody especially a twin." And Reader said "Actually I do." And then She walks away. Bucky heard It and goes to talk to her and also they confess each other feelings. Also She starts an amazing friend ship with Wanda.
Words: 3183 words
A/N: So many ideas, I feel like this needs to be a several part story. Thanks for the request, this was fun to write -
She thought a lot about her family. The memory of their death, the circumstances that led to it, the guilt. It was all a constant reminder, every day, of what she lost. She often felt like she was walking with a shadow on her back, consuming what was left of light, making her into this gloomy person everyone was so afraid to get close to. In a way, she was glad. Her guilt made her believe living this way was her sentence and she couldn’t allow anybody else to carry her burden. One person knew though, the only hope on her pathway. Steve Rogers. He hadn’t been bold enough to ask her up front but instead waited, close enough so she knew he was there, until she was ready to confide in him. Late one night, he had found her crying on the rooftop of the Avengers tower. Silently, he had put a blanket on her shoulders and had sit next to her. Without looking at him, she had told him everything. There had been no judgment from the Captain, not even a look of pity. He promised he wouldn’t tell a soul and after that, she grew closer from the man she considered now family.
That’s how Steve picked up on what was happening in front of his eyes before anybody else. Everyday, he would catch Bucky’s eyes lingering on her. The Soldier often asked Steve about her, he could guess the sadness behind every broken smile. Behind her cracks, he could almost see his own. She reminded him a lot of what it had mean to become the Winter Soldier, of the pain his mind had endured as Hydra tore it into pieces. While he was curious of her past, he also understood that whatever it was, she hadn’t dealt with it. The grief was evident and he wanted nothing more than to help her anyway he could, but every time he took a step toward her, she took three more backward. Steve assured him it wasn’t his fault. They both could see the internal struggle within her, the raging battle between self-inflicted pain and sheer will to live again. So far, she hadn’t give in and instead opted for an illusion only Steve and Bucky weren’t falling for.
She wasn’t the only one feeling the overbearing weight of grief. That specific day marked the one year anniversary of their battle in Sokovia. There was an eerie, gloomy atmosphere inside the compound. For the Avengers, it was the reminder of a difficult battle, of many lives lost, of victory. For Wanda Maximoff, it was the day she lost her brother. She had barely left her bedroom and no one dared go speak to her. Natasha and Vision had gone to see how she was doing but she had refused the company. They could all hear her crying and had collectively silently agreed that it was better to let her process her feelings alone. Y/N was debating wether she should follow their example. She had been standing close to Wanda’s bedroom door for the past hour when she felt a presence next to her.
“You should go talk to her” She heard someone whisper.
She turned her head, her eyes landing on a pretty concerned Captain.
“Wil it really make a difference ?” She asked.
“She’s hurting” Steve answered. “Just like you”
The woman dropped her head.
“I’m not sure, I .. I won’t know what to say”
“You’ll know exactly what to say, Y/N. You’ve both lost a lot”
“So have you. So have everybody here”
He sadly nodded.
“Why does it have to be me ?”
“Because we’ve all grieved. We made peace with whatever happened to us. We don’t feel sadness, anger or guilt just thinking about whomever we lost.” He explained. “You do. Just like her.”
She pursed her lips.
“I can’t pretend to understand, Y/N, because I don’t. I see the mountain that is your pain everyday when I look into your eyes. And, behind this door is a friend who’s going through the same loss you’ve experienced. Even if you haven’t dealt with the death of your sister, you know what it was like for her to lose Pietro, to live without him, to not be capable to let yourself be alive when half of you isn’t anymore”
Hearing his words was enough to reopen the gigantic wound inside her chest. She knew he was right, but it didn’t make it any easier. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, encouraging her with a soft smile.
“Alright. I’ll go”
She glanced at Wanda’s bedroom before looking back at Steve and swallowed the lump in her throat. Taking a deep breath, she closed the distance and knocked. Not waiting for an answer, she walked inside. She knew if she had ask Wanda, the Witch would have let her wait without an answer until she left.
The young woman was sitting on her bed, her gaze drifting into space. Y/N wasn’t sure she had even acknowledge her presence. All she could see was her soul bleeding an ocean through her eyes. When she sat next to her on the bed, Wanda tried to brush the tears away but it was useless. She couldn’t stop crying.
“I’m sorry you lost him” Y/N whispered.
She cursed under her breath, knowing those were in no way comforting words.
“If you came to tell me you understand, you can leave” She replied with a thick accent.
For a moment, Y/N did not say a word. She was thinking hard of something that could appease her friend, but her mind was blank.
“Are you also going to ask me if I’m okay” She heard Wanda say.
“What is the point ? I know you’re not”
She sighed.
“I’ve always hated that question. How are you suppose to know how you are if all you can feel is emptiness… It’s easier to say yes, put on a smile and turn your head”
“Is that why you’re here ? Are you expecting a yes or the truth ?”
“I already know the truth”
Wanda humorlessly chuckle.
“Are you going to pretend you know what I’m feeling ?” She told her with irony
“That’s the thing. I don’t need to pretend”
She felt her friend tense beside her.
“You should leave”
“Wanda…”
“No!” She shouted, getting up to put a distance between them. “I don’t need you to tell me I’m gonna be alright! I don’t need to hear it will hurt less with time, that I will forget ! Because I won’t, okay, I won’t!”
She started sobbing. For a split second, Y/N thought about hugging her, but she knew that this wouldn’t be a good idea. When her sister died, she couldn’t bear the hugs. They were so full of light and hope, such a bright contrast to the dark that was surrounding her. So she stayed on the bed, and watched her friend break down. Wanda needed the pain, she needed the anger, because they would inevitably lead to the last stage of grief. To life.
“Stop pretending to get this … this torture, because I can assure you, you don’t” Wanda vehemently told her, pacing around the room. “My heart is broken, okay ? It’s … It’s shattered. Not even in pieces, because he took those with him when he died.”
“Wanda …”
“No! You don’t know what it’s like to lose somebody !” Wanda yelled back. “Especially a twin!”
“Actually, I do”
Wanda instantly stopped walking and turned back to her friend, surprised. She watched Y/N playing with her hands, trying to keep the tears at bay, her eyes fixed on her lap, refusing to catch a glimpse of pity when she’ll start talking.
“It.. It doesn’t stop. The pain, I mean. It’s like this overbearing weight that crushes you every single minute of every single day. And when you get a moment to breath, a moment where you don’t feel your heart might explode of sadness, you feel guilty. So all that’s left of you now is pain and guilt. I can’t tell you it’ll get better, because it never did for me.”
She brushed the tears on her cheek as Wanda slowly sat back next to her.
“The world stopped when I lost her, my twin I mean” She continued, starring into space. “And I try, I swear I try to make it work again, but to this day all I keep asking myself is why her … why her and not…me. She was so much stronger than me, she deserved …”
A sob escaped her lips, preventing her from speaking.
“Steve told me I would be able to help you, because I understand your pain. But I can’t. What good would it do to you if I told you I feel like dying every time I think about my memories of her ?”
She humorlessly laughed.
“What good would it do if I confess I don’t want to live because I’m scarred of forgetting ? That I can’t breathe because each breath feels like I’ve cheated death ? That I’m becoming a void of darkness silently sinking ?”
They stayed silence before Wanda’s hand slowly came to hold hers. They spent a short moment without talking. Two woman with broken soul that understood each other on a level no one else’s could.
“You know ..” The Witch started to mutter. “Vis’ told me something once, and it stuck up on me ever since.”
“What was it ?”
“What is grief, if not love persevering”
A tear roll down Y/N’s cheeks, the words stabbing her right through the chest. Suddenly, she was up on her feet, alert and disoriented. This was sheer pain like she had rarely known, wide open scars bleeding through her soul.
“I can’t” She breathlessly told her friend. “I … I’m … I’m sorry Wanda I ca..”
And she fled the room. As soon as she stepped outside of it, she bumped into a muscular chest. Stopping in her tracks, she looked up. That’s when she saw it, what she dreaded the most. A look of pity. Bucky was standing in front of her, searching her eyes, his mouth open like the words were on the tip of his tongue yet he couldn’t voice any of them. He raised an arm toward her, a reflex to comfort the woman he cared the most about, but she was gone in a second. He turned back to glance at Wanda. The woman sadly smile and shook her head.
“Go get her” She simply told him.
And just like that, he was gone. He started by her bedroom, but she wasn’t there. He went to the lab, asked Tony and Bruce if they had seen her, but she wasn’t there. He passed by the gym, than their living room, but again, she was not there. He was almost running inside the building, going anywhere he could think of, but there was no sign of her. He was very frustrated when he crossed path with his best friend.
“Wha …” Steve started to ask.
“Y/N” Barnes only answered, almost out of breath.
The Captain hummed, watching his distress, knowing it was a bad time to ask him about it.
“She’s on the roof”
Bucky didn’t wait, not even hearing what Steve said next, and fled. He didn’t take the elevator and rushed up the stairs. It was a long way up but he did not care. All his mind was focused on was closing the distance between them. Finally, she was there. Sitting on the edge of the building, the sun shining so bright above their head.
“Please tell me you were not thinking of jumping” He said, half joking.
She didn’t turn around to look at him. She had felt his presence before he was even near her.
“The thought crossed my mind” She admitted.
He didn’t want to know if she was joking. Quietly, he stepped next to her and sat on the border, his legs dangling in the air.
“What happened ?” He inquired.
“I just … I thought I could help Wanda and…”
“That’s not what I’m asking” He cut her. “What happened to you Y/N ?”
She pursed her lips, turning for the first time to look back at him. She was almost expecting to see the pity in his eyes, but instead it had been replaced by worry.
“I had a family before the Avengers”
“A family you’ve lost” He guessed.
“…Yes. I couldn’t save them”
He raised his head toward her. She could see the millions of questions he had behind his stare. He was too polite to ask her but she knew he wanted to know. So she turned back to look at the garden in front of the compound, focused on the daisies Tony had insisted to have, and started to tell him her story.
“My parents were … scientists. Experts in genome manipulation. They were working for the government, for Shield. They discovered something important, something they wouldn’t tell us anything about. They started to get edgy, paranoiac, always looking over their shoulder. Whatever it was they found, they were scared. We fled America at the time. My sister and I, we didn’t understand what was happening, we didn’t get that … that they knew they were gonna die. That they were trying to keep us alive”
“What did they find ?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I’m here”
“I don’t understand”
She closed her eyes, remembering them.
“They experimented it on me”
“What ?”
He was shocked.
“We were in Stockholm at the time. One night, they took me to their lab, they said they needed me to work. I was seventeen, just so happy to be with them, so I said yes. Four days later, I woke up alone, surrounded by ashes and no memories. I found …” She stopped for a second, her lips quivering. “I found what was left of their bodies. My sister was there too. All of them, dead.”
Tears started to roll down her cheeks.
“I was convinced I killed them, I couldn’t move, I was just … stuck. So I stayed there, laying on the ground, next to their bodies, until Tony found me.”
“That’s how you came to live with Stark”
“Yes. He took me in, changed my name and my story, made me swear to never talk about this”
“Why ?”
“He helped me figure out what happened that night. My parents did succeed in their experiment. They made me … enhanced. That’s what they called it anyway”
“They gave you your powers” He guessed.
“Yes. The same day, Shield found them. While I was under, they put a bullet in their head. My sister was supposed to be sick, at home. But she sneaked out and hid in the lab. She just wanted to be with us. Shield tried to make it seen like it was an accident, a malfunction”
“An explosion”
She nodded.
“Yes. They blew up the lab, with all of us in there”
“But you didn’t die”
“I absorbed the blast”
“Oh…”
She brushed the tears off her face, looking at her trembling hands. It was useless to try to make them stop.
“I never found out who was behind their assassination, or what I am suppose to be”
“What you’re suppose to be ?” He repeated, surprised.
“They put their secret inside me, that’s how I came to be. But what is it, and what am I?”
He frowned, his mind working a thousand miles an hour.
“Do you really think this changes who you are ?” He asked her.
“I lost my identity, Bucky. I lost the person I was. Those powers, they turn me into something I’m not”
“Are you saying I’m the Winter Soldier? That I’m … not a person anymore but a program design to kill ?”
He knew the answer to that question, but he needed her to understand.
“Of course not!” She vehemently answered.
“This is the same fight, Y/N. Hydra might have wiped out my memories, but Bucky Barnes reappeared each time they tried to erase him, because this is who I am. My strength, my arm, my alter-ego, they don’t define who Bucky is. The kid that grew up in Brooklyn does”
“Do you really believe that ?”
“I believe we’ve been broken. But it doesn’t mean we can’t be fix”
His metal arm moved to hold her hand. When she turns around to look at him, he gently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear with his human hand before brushing his fingertips on her cheek, wiping her tears away.
“I don’t know how many times you’ll need to hear this, Y/N, but we’re not beyond repair” He whispered.
A shiver ran up her spine at his whole demeanor. His shoulders held high, his eyes boring into hers, all she could see was his rage to live, his will to rebuilt stronger foundations around their broken pieces. No it was not pity anymore, nor was it worry. All she saw now was admiration.
“You and I, we are survivors” He said with force.
He was a warm light she had yearn to feel, fresh air she thought would never touch her skin again. Wordlessly, she laid her forehead on his chest and closed her eyes. She didn’t want this feeling to go away and wished to hard she could bottle up this moment with him forever. They stayed like this, her body against his, his hand entangled in her hair, his chin resting above her head, and for a moment none of them spoke.
“Why do I feel so guilty to have you” She muttered so low he almost didn’t hear her.
“Because you know I can bring you peace” He honestly answered next to her ear.
“If I let you in, if I take the risk to be hurt again and I lose you…”
“You won’t”
“You don’t know that for sure”
“I know I’ve got strong feelings for you, and they won’t go away”
“And I feel the same, but we’re gonna get hurt”
“Isn’t that what love is about ? Navigating between feelings so loud they can’t be shut down, even after death. Stop being so afraid to keep on living, Y/N.”
“Bucky …” She called, slowly raising her head to look at him.
“I’m not giving you a choice, doll.”
Before she could talk herself out of this, he closed the short distance between them and laid his lips on hers. Suddenly, what was a flame became a raging fire in the pit of her stomach. She could feel her heart pumping all the way to her ears, feel the tingling sensation of his fingertips against her skin, a sense of peace finally. This was raw emotions they were sharing, sparks of electricity they were making as their lips were moving. Their own world they were creating. A promise they were sealing.
“You’re gonna be okay” He assured her, kissing her forehead.
“Promise me you’ll stay, Bucky”
“For as long as you’ll let me” He finished.
She looked up at him with hope.
“I promise”
#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes x reader#winter soldier#winter soldier imagine#winter soldier imagines#winter soldier x reader#the winter soldier#the winter soldier imagine#the winter soldier imagines#the winter soldier x reader#falcon and the winter soldier
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softer
deacon st. john x reader
part two of two
previous
"You're going to ask Iron Mike to give you the damn directions over the summit?" you eyed Deek curiously, a brow raised "This the same Iron Mike that specifically told you to fuck off and that he'd kill you if you ever showed your face at Lost Lake again?" Deacon sighed, rolling his eyes "I knew you'd say that exact sentence but baby, listen to me" Deacon stood in front of you, taking both your hands in larger ones.
Deacon looked at you with hope in his eyes "This is the best shot for us, getting away from all this will do us both some good" you hesitated, not yet wanting to agree with him having to go confront Mike himself to help you both over the pass.
"Fine.." you sighed, Deacon smiled softly, placing a kiss on your forehead "Just stay here, I'll be ba-" Deacon halted in his tracks as your hand wrapped around his wrist "I'll ask, probably have a better shot than you" you said, pulling Deacon back against his bike.
,Deacon sighed as he waited for you to come out from lodge, hopefully with Mike in tow, his eyes perked up at the sound of your laughter, he chuckled breathlessly as you walked out of the lodge with Mike right behind you, in a cheerful mood than earlier.
The mood was tense yet again as Mike approached Deacon, you almost felt the need to chew on your fingernails "This sweetheart has somehow convinced me to drive you both over the pass" Mike gestured to you, you smiled softly "If it gets you out of here, I'm all for it, don't get me wrong" his face was void of anything positive. "There's a way over the summit and unfortunately you are the only one who knows" Deacon grumbled, Mike nodded "Get ready then because when we leave, you ain't coming back" Mike's gaze hardened into Deacon's equally steely stare.
-
The drive up the pass was cold, the winds nipped at your exposed hands and cheeks, you and Deacon rode on your own bikes - not having the heart to leave it behind with Boozer "You okay?" Deacon's voice called through the walkie talkie, you flexed your hands on the handles "I- it's fucking cold.." Your voice shook as you replied "We're almost there, okay? It's only cold on the summit" you nodded, steeling your nerves.
-
Hope filled you as you finally made it to the top, Deacon came to a stop, you rose a brow, still shivering from the winds that randomly whipped through you "What's up?" You asked, seeing his head turned towards what was on the other side - your eyes widened. Scorched lands stretched as far as you could see, there was no tree in sight or patch of green grass "What the fuck..?" You muttered under your breath, Deacon continued on, making the way down seemed a whole lot easier than driving up.
-
You came through a small gorge, you could hear screams and shouts ahead, a cabin came into view, along with two Militia looking men and - a huge fucking infected grizzly bear, Deacon grunted as he slammed on his brakes, you coming to a slow stop "Stay here, don't come out until that thing is dead" he stated, not bothering to look back at you, your gaze hardened "You sure you can do this alone?" You asked wearily, eyes darting between him and the crazed bear, Deacon let out a heavy exhale "I got this".
-
Just as Deacon said he would, the bear fell and the two Militia men climbed down from the roof of the cabin, you were leaning on your bike, elbows resting on the gas tank and your chin in your hands as you watched the whole ordeal, you listened as the two men thanked Deacon endlessly, watching their interactions with him carefully "(Y/n)!" He shouted, the two men looked confused for a second until you drove into view.
"(Y/n), this is Russell and Mullins" he gestured to the two men, you nodded at them "Corporal Russell was about to take us to their camp" he looked back at the man named Russell who merely nodded "Of course, c'mon" he said, mounting his own bike "Mullins, you stay here! Guard the pass" Mullins protested but did so anyway.
On the way to Russell and Mullins' camp, Russell tells you about life in the camp - a military camp, explaining how things are done, who's in charge, what they do there.
-
He lead you and Deacon to a gate, towering defense walls on either side "Talk to Captain Kouri, he'll get you both set up, he should be over in the corner there" Russell gestured to the far left of the camp, he left you after that, you and Deacon dismounted your bikes, leaving them beside each other. "Are you sure about this?" You asked, Deacon looked at you "New beginning, remember?" He smiled softly at you, eyes darting around you both before he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead "Love you, sweetheart" he muttered lowly, you sighed softly and followed after him.
"Captain Kouri..?" Deacon asked the man sitting on a bench, the man's brows rose and he stood "At your service" Kouri shook Deacon's hand, a shining glint flashed in your vision, you looked down to see a very familiar ring on Kouri's hand, the same ring that Deacon gave Sarah on their last night together, Deacon noticed it too. Deacon tensed, the action unnoticed by Kouri, he pursed his lips and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, you subtly jabbed Deacon's side, he shook his head, sighing softly. "Deacon, Deacon St. John, and this, this is (Y/n) (L/n)" Deacon gestured to you. You nodded as Kouri shook your own hand, he eyed you down, seeming to size you up before turning back to Deacon "You're the man that saved two of our own?" Kouri asked, Deacon nodded "Well, your help was very much appreciated".
-
Captain Kouri showed you around the Diamond Lake outpost, introducing the two of you to the vendors they had, the medbay, the sleeping quarters, cafeteria, you stared at the group of soldiers, training - well, moreso getting orders and insults barked at them by their leader, it seemed a little on the dreary side but if it's what kept them up and running, it works. "I was in the 10th Mountain" you could hear Deacon and Captain Kouri still talking behind you "And her?" You heard the Captain ask "She's a biologist, started out as a nurse" Kouri hummed "A person with military experience and another who could potentially save the world and help save lives while she's at it? We might as well have struck gold".
"We have two scientists already, both working on the same thing, but only one actual doctor, we might have to divide her time equally, we'll see what the commander has to say at the recruitment ceremony" you and Deacon shared a confused look.
-
You, Deacon and some hipster named Wade Taylor were chosen to work in the main camp, the other woman who was with you three was put in the work camp, she had a loud mouth anyway. You were weirdly given the rank of Lieutenant for your bachelor's degree in biology, you had a feeling it was mostly just so Colonel Garret could keep you under a more guarded watch and order, Deacon was given the rank of Corporal for his military expertise.
-
Garret gave you and Deacon a tour of Wizard Island, even taking you through what they called the Ark which was a large cave system in the mountain "Lieutenant" Garret stated, your spine went rigid "Yes, sir" you replied "Considering you'll be one of our scientists, I think it's important that you meet your colleagues". You brought your hand to your forehead in a salute "Of course, sir" you said, mentally cringing at the way you were acting - your military experience was slim, the only experience you've had was your father, didn't really teach you much though, besides discipline when you needed it most "You too, Corporal" Garret eyed Deacon beside you "Yes, sir".
Garret brought you to two tents that were directly beside each other, he stood at the door to the one on the right, he pushed it open "Lieutenant Weaver" Garret barked, a man stood to attention, saluting the Colonel "Sir" Garret stood rigidly, beside the table in the middle of the tent. "This is you and the Witch's newest addition, Lieutenant (L/n), and this is Corporal St. John" you saluted again, Deacon doing the same, your gaze was on the man's dingy lab coat "James Weaver, Lieutenant Weaver" he introduced himself to you. "Deacon St. John" Deacon stated, his posture set in stone "(Y/n) (L/n), Lieutenant (L/n)" he chucked as you repeated his words back to him, your tone world's lighter than Deacon's "Are you taking them to meet the Witch?" Your brow arched slightly "Yes, follow me" Garret stalked out of the tent, walking to the door of the left one.
"This is the tent of the Wizard Island Witch" you were confused at the name "She's a botanist and research scientist" your eyebrows furrowed briefly "I can see where the Witch title comes from" the Colonel's lips twitched upwards, he pushed the door open. Your ears filled with the sound of a woman scolding a grunt for not knowing how to read, you couldn't see her from where you stood outside, your eyes glanced to Deacon's, his stare already on you, you could feel his hand softly brushing against the back of yours, you wanted to hold his hand but Colonel Garret made it clear that romantic relationships were not tolerated.
When the grunt moved out of the way, the Witch had her back turned, you could see blonde hair tied into a tight, neat bun underneath a green cap, she had a black tank top on and camo green cargo pants tucked into black boots, something about the way she carried herself seemed so goddamn familiar, but you couldn't put your finger on why that seemed, your eyes couldn't pull away from the back of her head.
"Lieutenant" Garret called, you blinked, pulling yourself out of your trance, and glancing at Deacon, who seemed to be in the same problem as you, you tapped his hand with your pinky, his gaze darted down to you, his pinky softly wrapping around yours "Yes, sir" she finally replied, attention still mostly on whatever she was doing beforehand "I have some people here who I want you to meet" you could see that she was visibly annoyed, but she sighed and turned around anyway, and your world seemed to come crashing to an abrupt halt.
Your eyes widened and your palms started to sweat, your whole spine went rigid as you took in the sight of Sarah - who was very much alive after all, your mouth was dry and your slightly agape, you could feel the shock in Deacon too, just from holding his pinky with yours "Lieutenant Whittaker, meet Lieutenant (L/n) and Corporal St. John" Garret held his arm out to you, you unconsciously stepped forward, your hand slipping away from Deacon's, her blue gaze locked on yours as you blocked her view of Deacon.
You could tell by the look on her face that she recognized you too, the look of shock not unnoticed, she shook her head slightly "Yes, the new scientist" she spoke, her voice wavering as she held out her hand, your body seemed to be on autopilot as you shook it "Yeah, I uh- I was a biology major before this" the words left your dry lips without thinking, she nodded "We- we definitely can use that brain of yours" she smiled, nervously.
You stepped aside, her stare immediately darted back to Deacon "Corporal" Garret snapped Deacon out of his stupor, he took a few steps forward, his eyes nervously looking at you as he questioned everything, you couldn't comfort him - not now at least, but now you questioned if you could ever after this.
"Corporal Deacon St. John" he said simply, you could see that Sarah was still stunned but trying desperately to calm down, Garret could feel how tense it was as he cleared his throat "Corporal St. John" Deacon hesitantly saluted. "You will be catering to our scientists, whatever they need, you go out and get" your eyes lowered to the ground, you could barely feel yourself, everything felt suppressed, you could feel tears welling in your eyes, you cleared your throat "Colonel, sir" you said quickly, all eyes were on you. "May I step outside? It's just- spaces with this many people, have me on edge" the Colonel seemed to dwell on your request "Yes, don't go too far though" you nodded and practically bolted out of the tent, the cool air did nothing to quell the attack coming on, your feet carried you to the small garden that was outside Sarah's tent, you dropped to the ground at the back of it.
Your fists clenched tightly, your knuckles turning white, your whole body shook in tremors, your breathing was coming out shakily, you closed your eyes as tears slowly fell down your face. You sighed shakily as your head hit the small wall that fenced in the soil, your gaze on the clear, dull sky, you could barely feel anything "(Y/n)?" You barely heard Deacon calling out for you, or his presence beside you now. "(Y/n), baby look at me" his voice was calm, his hands gently grasping your chin, bringing your gaze back down to him, his heart clenched, painfully as he took in your pained expression - you were heartbroken, plain and simple, but why?.
He held your face in his hands, his expression mirroring yours as realization set in on what was wrong, I mean what couldn't be wrong right now, not exactly wrong but still, tears still fell down your beautiful face and he wished he could erase all your doubts. "Hey, baby" his voice still held the same soft tone, your hands gently grasped at his wrists "I-..I'm scared" you spoke, your voice was so small and fragile, Deacon's heart could've shattered right there but he held strong "Scared of what, honey?" He asked, softly wiping your tears away.
"Losing you.." Deacon sighed softly, tears threatening to fall "Who said anything about losing me?" You swallowed down the pained lump in your throat "You have Sarah back again..I don't see why you would need me" your voice held steady this time, Deacon shook his head. "(Y/n), I made a promise to you back at Lost Lake, do you remember that?" Your eyes slowly closed as you recalled the day in the grove, where Deacon confessed to you "I promised you that I was yours always from that moment on, and you know that I don't break promises" you opened your eyes, his gaze catching yours. "Sweetheart, I'm yours, not even Sarah can take that away from you" his hands grasped yours, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on the back of your hands and over your knuckles "I'm sorry.." You said, your voice barely above a whisper, he sighed breathlessly "It's okay, baby" his whispered, laying two firm kisses to the back of your hand.
"They took all my rings but this will have to do for now" your brows furrowed, clearly confused at what he was doing, you watched as he pulled a string of red thread out of his pocket, he sat down in front of you, nimble fingers going to work on the thread, you wondered what he was doing. He was tying the string around on itself, creating a small braid, he chuckled softly, grabbing your wrist and gently pulling your hand to him "A temporary fix until the real thing" he muttered, tying the braided thread around your ring finger, your heart seemed to skip several beats at what you realized was happening.
"(Y/n), you are the light of my life, you have kept me going when all seemed..when all seemed hopeless, you were there for me through everything after Farewell" you eyed the fabric band that was tied around your finger "Honey, you are my reason for everything.." You could feel more tears welling in your eyes "Will you..will you marry me?" The question left Deacon's lips under his breath, but you heard him perfectly.
"If it means being yours for the rest of our days, how could I say no?" Deacon smiled widely at that, pulling you up to him, his arms wrapping around you in a firm embrace, he sighed breathlessly into the crook of your neck. You could feel his lips curl into a smile against your skin, his hold tightened around you for a second "Hearing you finally say that, its just-..it just-" Deacon stuttered, you smiled softly "I love you, Deacon St. John".
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You Are My Purpose (Kid Loki x Reader)
Summary: You meet Loki and you after you enter the void and you become friends. but you feel something more towards him. And once you get injured he fears of never telling you about his feelings.
Warnings: Injury, little bit of blood, cringy writing, cursing
A/N: Italics are flashbacks. Also posting this on my wattpad @Sunshinegal25
@wacky-nerdchick @degreeinsimping @itspauvr
I wake up not remembering anything that happened or where I am but I see what appears to be ruins of things I know. I see the Avengers tower and what seems to be the remains of New York City. I begin to walk around and get a feel of this strange place when I hear footsteps coming my direction. I pull out my sword ready to fight whatever is awaiting me.
Instead of it being some monster like I thought it was going to be it was, a kid. A kid that looked to be my age with raven black hair dressed in green and gold, but from the look on his face he looked surprised to see me.
“Who are you?” I ask in a stern and anxious voice.
“Loki, and you are?” The boy now known as Loki asked.
“Y/N. Why are you here?”
“To see if it was another me, but since your here I guess I could help you.”
“What to you mean by ‘another you’ and what the heck is this place!” I shout.
“The void and I’ll explain later but we got to run!” He exclaims as he grabs my arm and starts running.
Just as we take off the purpleish cloud that kinda looks like a lion appears and starts to chase us.
“What the hell is that thing!”
“Allioth, and if you don’t follow me you are going to be its lunch.”
I continue to follow him and he leads me to a makeshift bunker filled with that most random things such as video games and what looks like a bowling ally.
“You ok?” Loki asks.
“Yeah, thanks for saving me back there.”
“Its was no problem besides there’s not many people my age out here so I thought maybe we could be friends.”
“I’d like that.” I say with and smile
.................................................................................................
Ever since then we have been best friends, but I have always felt some sort of attraction towards him I choose to believe its one sided. Anyways we have met up with a few different Loki’s even an alligator one who is my Loki’s rights hand man or should I say gator.
But there are some Loki’s that fight against us considering my Loki is the king of the void. That puts us in our current position me and Loki against more Loki’s.
“Loki, look out!” I shout as I fight off one of the Loki’s.
“Thanks, Y/N/N.” I alwaysed loved it when he would use my nickname.
I am not gonna lie but I did blush a little and let my guard down thinking about him and one of the Loki’s got the advantage over me and stabbed me in the side with his blade. I let out a small wail as he pulls the blade out but then he is stabbed in the back by my Loki. At this point the blood was already seeping through my shirt as I fall expecting to hit the ground but I am caught in someones arms.
“Oh no, don’t you dare die on me,” Are the last things I here before I pass out.
(Loki POV)
I look over to see Y/N fighting a Loki varient and all of a sudden he stabs her. I finish fighting mine and run over to end hers but not before catch her in my arms.
“Oh no, don’t you dare die on me,” is all I can say before she goes unconcious in my arms.
I scoop her up as fast I can and get her back to to the bunker as fast as I can. When I get there I find the nearest place I can lay her down and get the med pack and begin to work on her wound. It was even worse than I thought but I was going to do everything I could to keep her alive because she is my purpose.
......................................................................................
I finished cleaning and wrapping her wound a few hours ago and now I am waiting on her to wake up, soon I hope. I sit there holding her and to where I can feel her pulse because I don’t want to leave her side and I because knowing she is alive comforts me. These past few hours have been torture because the worst pain in my opinion is waiting when there is nothing you can do to help them. I should have told her earlier how I feel towards her and no I my never get the chance.
I am snapped out of my thoughts when I hear movement next to me.
(Y/N POV)
I wake up in a haze trying to piece together what happened when I see Loki jump to my side.
“Y/N, thank the stars you awake.”
“Yeah, its good to see you to. What happened after I blacked out?”
“Well I got you back here and cleaned your wound.”
I look down to see where I was stabbed and I was wrapped up better than I could ever do.
“Thank you,” I say as I try to sit up.
“Here let me help you.” Loki says as he helps me sit up.
I give him a smile and my face at this point is probably covered in blush but honestly I don’t care anymore. I want to tell him how I feel and just kiss him on the spot but I also don’t want to ruin my friendship with him.
“Y/N, I need to tell you something.”
In my mind I am going ‘Oh shit’ and ‘Whats he gonna do’.
“Ok,” I reply.
“I like you I mean ‘Like you Like you’ and you are my purpose.”
I am in shock at what he has just said. So i do something i have been wanting to do for a while. Kiss him.
At first he is in shock and I pull away but he pulls me back closer to him. My hand slowly entangle in his dark colored hair and he pulls me as close as he can without hurting me.
“I take it you like me too?” He asks when we break apart.
“I don’t like you Loki, I love you.”
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confessions
hol’ up . . . this is our vv first fic together. bye-
inspo: “Isn’t it obvious? I’m in love with you?”
genre(s): angst; fluff
fandom: the hunger games
rating: g・t・r
rated t for swearing
word count: 2.6k
warning(s): two oblivious dumbasses in love; probably unedited
things to know: y/n (your name) ⟢ e/c (your eye colour) ⟢ y/l/n (your last name)
Peeta Mellark.
He was your constant; your rock. You could rely on him for anything and everything.
He was the steadiest thing you’d had in your life for a long time now, but as he took your wrist and led you upstairs away from the party, you couldn’t help but feel the anger bubble up in your chest.
“Peeta, what—”
“Why?” he nearly shouts. Peeta is mild mannered. He’s many things, actually; polite, charming, and personable, but angry was not one of them. It didn’t scare you like you’d always expected it to, but rather frustrated you.
“Why what, Peeta?” you hiss back.
He looks at you as if you had just grown two heads, his brows knit together in disbelief.
“You’re joking,” he breathes. You shake your head, not understanding what he is trying to get at. You defensively cross your arms, knowing the juvenile element would annoy him, but having nothing to do with your hands increases your already anxious state.
“That guy,”
“That guy?”
“Yes, y/n, yes. That guy that was just a little too friendly with you? So close to you that he was practically crawling under your goddamn skin? What were you thinking?”
You laugh at him, unable to contain it. “I can handle myself perfectly fine. Why are you being such an ass?” you all but shout at him. “It’s none of your business anyway?”
“Hm, let’s see y/n, he could’ve, god, I don’t know, taken advantage of you?”
You scoff, unable to handle his cliché statement.
He brings his hands up and pushes his hair back, looking up at the ceiling as he exhales heavily through his nose. You squint at him, unable to read the emotions on his face.
“What is up with you?” you whisper, not quite sure if he was able to hear. Your eyes narrow, unsure of what his next words might be.
“For someone so smart, you can be so goddamn oblivious sometimes, y/l/s.”
“Oh my god, what is with all the stupid riddles tonight? I can’t read your mind! You can’t expect me to just know things,” you exasperate, throwing your hands out in front of you. “For someone who’s supposed to be good at communication, you’re doing a pretty shitty job of displaying it,” you spit, throwing his words right back at him.
“Fine,” he hisses, starting to move towards you.
You cock your eyebrow at him, your bodies coming closer, nearly closing the gap.
“Fine?” you question.
“Yeah.” he huffs out, repeating the word with an heir of finality, “yeah.” His breath warms your face, the scent of vodka invading your senses.
Your cheeks heat up, suddenly very aware of his proximity. You watch his adam's apple bob as he swallows thickly. He can’t meet your eyes, his heart hammering against his chest so loud that it feels as though you can hear it. His head drops along with his gaze, studying the floor before chancing a glance at you. Peeta lets go of a breathy laugh as words tumble out of his mouth.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he breathes, his words choked, hardly audible, him now looking you right in the eyes. Your stomach does a flip once, unsure of his next words. Blue eyes stare at your e/c ones that are clouded in confusion. You can feel his frustration start to build as he takes a step back from you, his voice rising and hands coming from his sides.
“I’m in love with you,” he bursts out.
Oh my god.
You stare at him in shock, his proclamation stunning you. You blink once, twice, as his words echoing through your head.
His hazel eyes bore into your e/c ones, willing you to say something, anything, to let him know you heard him. But yet you stand there, unable to find the words.
Nothing is coming out.
Say something, you beg yourself, wanting to scream out an answer, yet your mouth continues to remain shut. You swallow hard, your tongue feeling like sandpaper. How could you be so oblivious to his feelings? You and him have known each other since childhood, yet there you are, standing only inches away from him, the truth finally known.
The look in his eyes is absolutely heart-wrenching; if you hadn’t just heard him, you’d have thought he had lost his best friend. In a way, you guess, he had.
Peeta just shakes his head softly, shrugging his shoulders in such a way that makes you want to reach out and take his hand. His dark waves fall over his eyes and he turns around, facing the door.
“I—” you begin, but you know it’s too late.
“Just, um, forget it, y/n,” his voice soft, small, “I’ll see you in environmental studies.”
He opens the door and steps out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. You want to scream, to tell him to come back.
“Dammit!” you exclaim, throwing your red solo cup as hard as you can at the wall. The contents spill all over, some of the liquid splashing on you but you can’t bring yourself to care.
You reach to pull at your loosely braided hair, a habit of yours that came out whenever you were experiencing an excess of negative emotions, before you realize where you are. You harshly rub your eyes with the heels of your hands as you remind yourself to breathe.
In, out . . . In, out.
“Get it together,” you tell yourself, taking one last deep breath. “Okay.”
You turn to head back downstairs to the party, nothing on your mind except finding Peeta and setting everything straight, hoping at this point that that was even a possibility anymore.
God, you hated this part. You hated having to make up. Saying sorry was never your strong suit, your pride always getting in the way. But this? This was not a matter of pride. This was about finally coming to terms with the truth that you so desperately tried to avoid for years.
You almost trip as you descend the stairs, looking everywhere for Peeta but unable to find him anywhere in the crowd.
Spotting a head of wavy bronze hair by the water cooler, you rush over to your english lit classmate, who is also a friend of Peeta’s; Finnick Odair.
“Hey Finnick,” you say once you reach him, trying to keep your voice even. He greets you with his signature smirk before bringing his cup to his lips and taking a sip.
“Ah, y/n, having a good time I trust?”
“Trying to,” you grumble. Finnick gives you a quizzical look before you proceed; “Have you seen Peeta?” You can’t help but notice the slight crack in your voice when you say his name.
“Yeah,” he confirms, “I saw him leave a few minutes ago. Seemed pretty upset.”
“Yeah, wonder why,” you mutter bitterly, knowing he wouldn’t hear your words above the music.
You bite your lip, weighing the option of asking Finnick to help you find Peeta. Half of you wanted to go and find him yourself, your need to get the weight off your chest as quickly as possible, the other half of you wanting to stall for as long as you could.
“Could you text him? Ask him where he is?”
“Why can’t you?”
You fight the urge to roll your eyes, your cheeks burning. “Because, I—”
“Wait,” Finnick’s smile widens. “Wait, are you the reason he’s upset?”
Your silence is enough for him. His dopey smile falters for a moment, an emotion that you could only define as realization sweeping over his face. He shakes his head softly, pulling his phone from the pocket of his hoodie and opening his texts. His thumbs glide swiftly across the screen as he compiles a message to send to Peeta.
You can’t have been standing there for more than a minute when his phone dings. Finnick flashes you the screen.
From: Pita Bread
I’m fine... at the pond.
“Thank you, Finnick, really,” you breathe.
He just nods, taking another sip of his drink.
You rush out of the frat house the party was being held in, running across the street to Panem University’s main campus, willing your legs to go faster.
The pond was at the northern end of campus, smack in the middle of Tribute Hall and the Coriolanus Snow Study Center. You see a silhouette sitting on one of the few stone benches surrounding the body of tranquil water, tossing handfuls of what you can only assume is trail mix at the ducks that liked to take up at the pond.
You slow down, bringing your footfalls to a trot, then silently padding your way over the grass towards him. Your chest is heaving from the exertion as you try to make your breaths even.
“Peeta,” You call out, your voice void of any venom as you stalk towards the boy. You’re almost inclined to slap him because of how he acted. No rational person could expect someone to give them an answer to a question as heavily weighed as that right away.
He stands up once you reach him, refusing to look you in the eyes. For a fleeting moment, you catch the grief-stricken look in his usually bright eyes and it’s enough to keep you from raising your hand at him.
“Why did you leave like that?” you breathe out. He shrugs a shoulder with almost casual indifference. “Peeta.” you nearly plead, looking at him as your eyebrows knit together.
“What did you expect me to do?” he says feebly.
You look up at the night sky, inhaling deeply as you hurriedly send off a prayer to whatever higher power that you can say everything you want to say to him, in the way you want to say it.
In a way that says something to him. Means something.
The stars seem to twinkle brighter, almost like they received your message. God, this is so hard.
Peeta is still looking anywhere but at you, his focus now on the ducks idling in the water.
“You could have waited for me,” you say. “I mean, come on! That was… big. A big thing to drop on me,” you add, “so of course I was shocked. But if you had just waited for me . . .”
“What?” he snorts, finally looking you in the eyes. “What would you have said that couldn’t have possibly made me feel like more of a fool than I already was? What—”
“I love you,” you blurt.
Here it goes.
“And not in a ‘you’ve always been there for me, so I’m kind of indebted to you’ kind of way but in a way that’s like, ‘I want to do cheesy stuff with you because I know it will make you smile.’ That’s like, I would do anything, anything to prove to you that I’m worthy of your love. Peeta, you’ve seen everything I was and everything I am, and it just— I just couldn’t believe when you said that . . . But I— I trust you with everything in me and it frightens me, because you know I’ve been hurt before, but I can’t deny that everything feels right when I’m with you. I just. I want another chance. If, if you’ll let me.” You breath the words out, hardly anything but air coming out.
“Y/n, breathe.”
“Right,” you exhale, your mind swirling around, making vertigo seem like a walk in the park.
“You’re not . . . unworthy of love,” Peeta begins but he stops, trying to figure out his words. “What Cato did to you, it doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love. He’s.. an asshole, who’s going to get what’s coming to him. I— I’m sorry for dropping it on you like that, but seeing you with that guy, he just reminded me so much of Cato, and it made me so mad because I didn’t want you to go through that again, and I.. couldn’t help but think it was my final chance to tell you how I felt.”
“Final chance?”
“Y/n, I’ve loved you since like year six.”
“Peeta, you absolute dumbass!” you exclaim, quickly going to cover your mouth as your own words shock even yourself. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . wow,” a laugh nearly escapes your lips. “We’re both oblivious fools, huh?”
Peeta’s brows furrow in confusion, as you let out a soft chuckle. His head is tilted slightly to the side, his soft curls falling into his blue eyes. This moment is one you’ll always remember, you think to yourself, already trying to commit it to memory. The way the trees slightly sway from the late summer breeze, the moonlight reflecting off the water; best of all, the glint in Peeta’s eye when your gazes meet. It’s so cheesy, really, but you couldn’t care less. You’ve played it over and over in your head for years, different scenarios always being formulated, but nothing you could have ever dreamt of could compare to this moment.
“I’ve loved you since year seven,” you tell him, every word of it true. “I can’t believe it took us both this long. Could have avoided the whole Cato fiasco of year twelve, I suppose, if we had just . . . had the gall to tell each other back then, I guess,” you say, the last sentence mumbled.
“Yeah.” Peeta laughs, a genuine deep laugh that reaches his eyes. It rouses the butterflies that have been in the pit of your stomach, the fluttering making you nervous as you watch him scratch the base of his neck almost embarrassedly.
“So,” you say, dragging the ‘o’ sound. “Pretty sure this is the part where most people would kiss.”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“No, not you, Peeta. I was talking to the duck behind you,” You frown, unable to contain the scoff that passes your lips. “Yes.. yes, I want to kiss you,” you breathe, your pulse hammering.
You step forward, your hands reaching up, gliding against his cheeks, his hands resting on your waist. In a moment of bravery, you place your lips against his. They’re soft, and he tastes like cedar and bread, and it’s like coming home, being in his arms as his lips move against yours, the breeze chilling your skin but his warming you.
There are no words spoken between the two of you as you both pull away. His eyes are still closed, his long eyelashes resting against the tops of his cheeks; the corners of his mouth are pulled up slightly.
God, he’s beautiful. So beautiful. That word is usually reserved for sceneries, sunsets or pretty dresses, but in this moment, you can’t tear your eyes away from him.
“Finally!” someone shouts, causing the both of you to jump back from each other, acting like two first years getting caught passing notes in class. You look around before your eyes land on Johanna Mason, leaning against the statue of the university founder Alma Coin that’s off to the left of the entrance of the study center. Finnick is with her, his signature smirk gracing his elegant features once more. “We were wondering when you two would have the balls to tell each other how you felt.”
“It seems everyone knew but you two,” Finnick adds with a deep chuckle.
“Alright, Finny, I think we should leave the two lovebirds alone.” Johanna says, turning away. “Be safe, you two!”
“If you need anything,” Finnick winks at Peeta. “You know where to reach me.”
You laugh softly, leaning your head against Peeta’s chest. His arms wrap around you, encasing you in him. His cheeks rests on the top of your head, his breaths evening out as you listen to his steady heart beat.
This is it. This is home.
#original post#kyley writes#thg#the hunger games#peeta mellark x reader#peeta mellark x y/n#peeta mellark imagine#thg fanfiction#thg fandom#suzanne collins#fanfiction
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Pictures of You
Summary: prequel to I’ll Be Your Enemy - fluffy!
Characters: IBYE!Reader, Gojo, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara
Word count: 2,3k
Content warning: none
A/N: requested by @thecaptainsbride
If anybody got the reference Gojo made when he was late; congratulations, you have been successfully hurt (but this time it was not me).
Since I left the relationship between Gojo and the reader up for interpretation in IBYE, I will do the same here! Consider this piece me trying to mend your hearts <3
Taglist applications open for anyone who is interested!
“A trip to an amusement park or something like that doesn’t sound so bad,” you mused in front of Satoru. “It serves as relaxation and maybe the first-years can get closer to each other, you know, bonding and so on. They will see each other many times from now on, so getting along with each other is important,” you reasoned, your eyes almost sparkling from the thought of a day off.
“But Jujutsu Sorcery is an individual–” he began.
“Satoru, I think you should see this as vacation. A vacation where you can eat sweets until your teeth rot and absolutely nobody will hold you back,” you interrupted him.
“Okay, I am sold. Am listening now.” You just knew how to convince him. Sweets.
So that was exactly how the first-year students and you ended up at a fairground somewhere in Tokyo; it was quite neat, not too small but not too spacious either. None of you could get lost in it. Still, it was buzzing with life and all kinds of people mingled. The colorfulness was a refreshing sight to take in, compared to the dark world of Jujutsu Sorcery where seeing people suffer was your daily routine. The pleasant smell of food wafted through the air, making your mouth water, as you walked past the different booths with them. Waffles sounded like absolute heaven on earth right now.
Jujutsu Sorcery certainly was a draining sport, mentally as well as physically. Therefore it was only right to take a break at times, right? Self-care days were just as important as working.
In order to wind down a bit, you had suggested a one-day trip – just you, Satoru and the three first-year students you had adopted in your mind right away after meeting them several times.
“Sensei, you look very pretty today!” Yuji complimented you. Even Megumi noticed: “Did you have a haircut? Your hair seems a little bit shorter.”
“Yeah, Nobara had a field day with me. Cutting my hair.. or more like trimming the ends, choosing my outfit, doing my make-up and so on just for today,” you gushed as if you were a high school girl again. “Leave it to master stylist Kugisaki Nobara and nobody will ever look bad,” the brunette girl commended herself. Yuji was affectionately patting her on the back.
Undoubtedly, Satoru was late – nobody was surprised about that. You already went ahead and generously treated the trio of students you loved dearly to some food.
“Thank you for the food, sensei!” As usual, Yuji and Nobara were in perfect harmony with each other, seemingly sharing a brain.
“Thank you very much,” Megumi also expressed his thanks sweetly. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought the way his lips seemed to twitch was unintentional. “Absolutely no problem, kiddos. You guys enjoy it while I try to contact Gojo-sensei, yeah?” you shot them an apologetic smile, already fishing out your phone. The three of them nodded in perfect synchronization. They’re as cute as little ducklings, you thought.
You didn’t even need to bother calling.
You were about to dial Satoru’s number on your smartphone when Yuji’s voice boomed, “Oh! There he is! Gojo-sensei, we are here!!”
The boy waved at his teacher.
Satoru immediately spotted the pink-haired student and skipped over to where you all were standing. “Sorry for the wait! I’m afraid I got lost on the path of life!!”
“Nice of you to finally join us, but sadly, the fun is already over and we decided to go home. Just wanted to call you to let you know! We’ve been here since morning,” you deadpanned as the white-haired man arrived, looking Satoru dead in the eye – if they weren’t covered. “Wait, wha– Hold on, I am very sure I am not that late. MY MOCHI?” Satoru sounded frantic, facing his students who just shrugged their shoulders. “Serves you right,” Megumi stated calmly. Nobara, being the sassy girl she was, also joined in, “Losers don’t get to have fun and that’s a fact.”
It was such a wholesome and funny moment for you to see the students playing along with your prank without being told beforehand.
You broke out in laughter, not being able to contain it any longer, “You should have seen your face, dumbass! I was just joking!”
“Phew, I almost thought I had to kiss the idea of eating sweets today goodbye. What a horror that would be, my day would be OVER this instant,” the blindfolded man pouted, “so where should I buy my sweets? I’m gonna buy the entire place anyway, but where do I start? Any suggestions for Great Teacher Gojo?”
“Hold up, Satoru! We gotta take a picture together to commemorate this special day!” you suggested, bouncing up and down with enthusiasm. “I swear I just saw sensei’s eyes sparkle but I might be wrong,” Yuji remarked, looking at his dark-haired friend for confirmation.
“Sensei, if you want to take a picture, we have to take it at the right angle!” Nobara chimed in, the secret Instagram influencer in her on full display. She continued to explain, “It would come out great if Gojo-sensei took the pic, long arms privilege and so on.”
The female student almost seemed more into it than you were, it was adorable to you to see the usually bold student be this into taking pictures.
You hand the tall man your phone, but not without shooting him a “if you drop my phone, I’ll make you drop dead” look.
“Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation,” the male teacher commanded loudly. Upon hearing that, Megumi immediately slapped his hand in his face and turned away in embarrassment. Why was this man like this?
“...Ladies?” Yuji asked, the expression on his face screaming ‘confusion’ “Gojo-sensei just referenced a Beyoncé song, Itadori,” the dark-haired boy explained in a hushed tone, turning back slightly as if he did not want to get caught.
“And it’s not just any song!” Satoru happily chimed in. “Yes, yes, the good old Formation,” you added, nodding in satisfaction. You remember how you showed him the album when it dropped.
“Can we all just ignore Gojo-sensei and take our pic?” Nobara inquired as she shoved everybody into their respective spots. “Alright, everybody, smiiiiile for the camera. Say cheese!”
Click, click, click, click.
Finally, Satoru had gotten his share of sweets. Complying with his sweet tooth was always an effective way to calm him for some time. Almost like feeding a baby, in a way.
Now it was time for fun rides!
...or at least that was what you thought… until Satoru dragged you along to ride a freaking pendulum ride with him. The three students had managed to talk themselves out of stepping foot on that monster of a ride but Satoru didn’t even give you a chance to refuse, he simply gripped your arm and walked towards it.
Stopping only when you were already standing in line, you nervously eyed the metallic behemoth with its iron arm. The monstrosity was seemingly ready to make you throw up from the way it would spin you through the air repeatedly, going back and forth and back and forth again. Why did you have to do this?
“Satoru,” you called his name timidly and tugged at his sleeve, the strange feeling not leaving your gut, “do I really, really have to do this?”
“Absolutely! I promise it will be very fun,” Satoru replied with a signature grin you wanted to wipe off of his face at that moment.
No, it was not fun. At all. You were dizzy and your fear of height was kicking. The blasts of air hitting your face left, right and center were not helping at all and you were sure, if anybody took a picture of you right now, you would look horribly green.
“I– can’t do this anymore!” you shouted mid-air, right before the ride swung to the other side. The force knocked the air out of you once again.
“SATORU, PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE!” you begged and squeezed his arm with an iron grip. The height was too overwhelming. “Mid-ride?” Satoru asked and you nodded frantically. “Now that’s what I call reckless! Sounds like fun. I’m in!” he declared with a grin.
“Domain Expansion: Infinite Void.”
That was the last thing you heard the tall man say before he touched your head with his large palm.
Your eyes widened in horror as you realized this man used his domain this recklessly, for fun. Maybe it was a side effect of being able to use it multiple times a day.
The infinity gently wrapped itself around Satoru and you. Almost movie-like, you watched as the entire, vast universe beautifully unfolded in front of your eyes. Each star being created separately, then abruptly flashing by as a sea of stars – as if you were in a wormhole. You perceived the entire domain within a flash of a moment, yet tasted eternity in it. Everything but nothing at once.
Despite being touched by Satoru himself, the sensations weren’t without merit. If this was how it felt to be in the safe space of Satoru’s touch within his inner world of Limitless, you would rather not fathom how it felt to be the one hit by this powerful domain.
It took you some time to process things and recollect.
“When I said I wanted you to get the two of us out of that thing, I didn’t mean ‘send me to your domain’,” you scolded him.
“Well, it was convenient,” he defended himself and you could almost hear the grin on his face, “Bet you’ll hate me after this though.”
“Hating you was never really an option I’d ever consider but okay, we’ll run with it this time. Now undo your domain, please, while I am asking nicely.”
“Your wish is my command! This time at least.”
“Satoru.” A stern last warning fell from your lips.
“Yes, yes, boss. On it.”
“I thought you said it’ll be fun but I am absolutely not riding that thing ever again,” you took deep breaths to calm down as your feet securely touched the ground again. Your legs were still trembling a bit.
“And it was fun! At least for me! I like seeing you struggle – it’s so funny – and the way you clung to my arm? Adorable! You are so tiny compared to me, like a bug I could crush between my fingers!” The annoying sorcerer laughed merrily.
“Gojo fucking Satoru, the only thing that is about to be crushed here are your balls. With my leg. You are very lucky to have that damn Infinity of yours or else,” you threatened.
“Ouch, you really do know how to hurt an invincible man,” he snickered and flicked your forehead lightly.
Rejoining with the students was easy as they all saw the barrier Satoru’s domain created.
“You are lucky there was some kind of show going on down here. That barrier above would have freaked people out if they weren’t distracted,” Nobara said, looks shooting daggers at her weird teacher. Innocent and as nice as ever, Yuji pitched in as well: “Yeah, Fushiguro also tried to distract children with their wandering eyes! I think he did a good job.”
“Okay but what did he do though?” you asked curiously and looked at the boy in question.
“...Shadow puppets,” Megumi slowly admitted, looking anywhere but at the people in front of him.
“Oh? You love your foster-dad-turned-great-teacher this much to embarrass yourself out in public? That’s new!” Satoru teased the poor boy. “Someone has to be the voice of reason around here or you’d all be in jail. That includes preventing civilians who are able to see curses from seeing you use Jujutsu while floating mid-air,” he justified, ignoring the tall teacher’s mockery completely.
“As much as I love slandering Gojo-sensei, I’d rather spend my day actually having fun,” Nobara pitched in, reminding everybody of why you were here in the first place.
“So, let’s go ride the ferris wheel!” she added excitedly.
More fun rides.
Before you knew it, the day passed by. You could already feel the heaviness in your legs from walking. The swirling feeling from all the rides boded in your chest – you probably would not be able to sleep well tonight. It was definitely worth it though, you thought.
You had already brought the students back to their dorm – Satoru had ran off to the school because he remembered he had to do something – and were on the way home yourself.
You were in some sort of trance, completely immersed in your phone, so you hadn’t registered when Satoru called your name until he gently tapped your shoulder, falling into step with you.
“Yeah?” you looked up to Satoru, snapping out of your train of thought.
“Just wanted to tell you; ‘Operation: Relaxation Day’ was a great success.”
“I’m glad to hear that, Satoru.” A genuine smile graced your lips and for a moment, he softened at the sight.
“You know what? It was amazing, I really should start listening to you more often,” he confessed with a smirk.
“Well, it’s thanks to your amazing power of persuasion that we got to spend it like this, so thanks for today,” you half-heartedly complimented him.
“You do know I only said we’d not be available today and then dashed, right?” he asked you, the usual playful tone lacing his voice. “Exactly what I meant by saying ‘your amazing power of persuasion’.”
“I think I’ll frame the picture we took,” you murmured softly, fondly looking at the screen of your phone. The picture from earlier was displayed on your homescreen.
Surely, you would hang it on the blank wall in your home as well. It was a personal treasure now.
Taglist (dm me if you wanna be added): @assbuttbaek @megumifushi @bleueluna @gojos-mochi @delammi
#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo x y/n#domain expansion#infinite void#ibye series
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I can't remember if I sent this to you already but could I request headcanons for aizawa, hizashi and Toshinori finding their s/o that has a chipmunk quirk that makes her fall into hibernation when it's too cold (kinda like tsu) but when the guys find her with her heart rate low and her breathing shallow maybe they freak a little bc she didn't tell them about that part of her quirk yet
omggggg this idea is literally so cute I got so excited when I first read it. Also thank you love for comin through with the requests, I really appreciate it! <3 I also hella struggled cuz like, what can someone with a chipmunk quirk do? Stuff their cheeks? Climb up trees? Also I legit forgot what a chipmunk even looked like I had to look it up lmaoooo im so dumb it hurts
Aizawa is an intimidating fella, okay
So when you first told him about your quirk, you were lowkey embarrassed?
Like, here’s this grown-ass man with a badass quirk who is more than capable of taking down villains and defending himself, and here you are just-
🐿️
But you know what’s great about this man? He couldn’t give less of a shit about your quirk or anything like that. He strikes me as the type to care more about personality than anything else
concealing your quirk is fairly easy. People probably wouldn’t even know you had one if it wasn’t for the small fluffy ears popping out of the top of your head, and even then you could just cover them with a hat
But that doesn’t mean you don’t experience the effects of your own quirk just because it’s subtle
You have a mutant type quirk, so you experience certain things that actual chipmunks do
Sometimes you won’t even notice that you’re stuffing your cheeks to full capacity with whatever you’re eating before Aizawa has to cut you off and just be like
“y/n. Chew.”
Or when you’re rushing, you’re usually going so fast that Aizawa can barely even see you zooming from room to room
you can also get kinda skittish at times, your ears twitching whenever you hear a noise that sounds weird or out of place, and you’ll just look at Aizawa with wide eyes until he checks out what made a noise that he could barely hear
“y/n, it was just some kids outside.”
“Oh... sorry, Sho.”
he wants to be frustrated, but he knows it’s not your fault. And honestly? He finds you so cute that he can’t really stay mad at you
So he’ll just let out a huff before patting your head lovingly, grazing his fingers over your ears (Which he KNOWS are sensitive, that asshole)
Experiencing long periods of deep sleep is also a thing. You wouldn’t call it hibernation cuz you still have to do normal, everyday things, but there are times during the winter where you’ll sleep for a few days in a row and only get up to go to the bathroom or eat
And since you can’t actually burrow into the floor of your home, you usually make a blanket fort in the corner of your bedroom and stuff all of the pillows and blankets you can in there until it’s nice and warm, ready for you to bury yourself in
and you might’ve left that little part of your quirk out when you moved in together. whoops
So when Shouta comes home and sees the living room couch void of all of its pillows, he’s not expecting to walk into your shared bedroom and see you curled up in a blanket fort
he’s a bit curious at first, just kinda looking at you like “All right, I guess this is normal?”
and he’ll crouch down and kinda examine you for a bit before he eventually wonders if you’re even breathing? You’re burried under blankets, so he can’t really see your chest moving
eventually he’ll check and see that your breathing is abnormally slow and he kinda just... pauses and checks again to make sure he’s not going crazy.
and he wont deny that he kinda freaks out at first, his immediate thought being that he needs to get you out of there, but the second he grabs the blankets to pull them off of you he’s like wait... hold up.
then it all clicks
you’re a mutant with a chipmunk quirk...
c h i p m u n k
safe to say he’s relieved, so he just lets you be and goes about his day.
When you wake up a few hours later to go to the bathroom, you come out of the bedroom with your clothes practically on backwards, rubbing at your eyes and stumbling past Aizawa like he’s not even there. And when you’re done, it’s right back to sleep you go
“Back to bed?” Aizawa would ask as he watches you with an amused smirk on his face
“Mhm.”
“Okay. Goodnight, y/n”
“Mm’night.
Listen, when he first heard of your quirk, he thought it was the cutest shit ever
“Your quirk is Chipmunk?! That’s SOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUTE!”
No he’s legit your number one hype man. If you think your quirk is lame, he’s literally shouting at you how cool he thinks you are.
“You can stuff so much food in your mouth, y/n! And that’s pretty dope if you ask me! I’m totally jealous!”
speaking of food, he’ll just randomly ask you to shove as much as you can of one thing in your cheeks until they’re at full capacity.
“Hey y/n, think you can shove this whole pack of jumbo marshmallows in your cheeks?”
“But... I just bought those :(”
“I’ll buy you more, LET’S DO THIS!!!”
also asks you the dumbest questions omg. You don’t know if he’s genuinely curious or if he’s just doing it to piss you off
“So do you just eat nuts all day?”
“You’ve seen me eat, Hizashi. No.”
“Do you prefer to sleep in trees?”
“That would be extremely uncomfortable.”
“Ooh you’d probably be great frieds with Kamui Woods then.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?”
He also REALLY likes your ears. Like an unhealthy amount? Whenever you’re around he literally wont stop touching them and even tugs on them playfully until you’re swatting at his hands and telling him to go away
He can’t help that they’re so cute :(
so on a particuallry cold day in winter when he has to go to work at the school, he leaves your home while you’re sleeping, only to come home hours later to find you... still sleeping?
You haven’t moved an inch the entire time he’s been gone, so needless to say, he’s a litle concerned.
and when he checks to see if you’re still alive only to discover your heart rate is super slow, he’s A LOT concerned
His brain just goes to the most dramatic thing he can think of, which is that you’re in some weird coma and need to wake up
so rather than, i dont know, gently shaking you awake like a normal person, he grabs you buy your shoulders and starts shaking you violently while shouting your name loud as fuck
“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”
you literally wake up so violently, you sit right up and shove him off of you before asking what’s wrong with him, pretty sure you’ve officially gone deaf
He then explains that he thought you were in a coma or something cuz your heartbeat was so slow, and at that point you just roll your eyes because of course he would come up with this ridiculous conclusion
“Hizashi, my quirk is chipmunk and it’s a mutation quirk.”
He doesn’t even get what you’re getting at, just tilting his head in confusion as he squints at you.
“What do chipmunks do in the winter, babe?”
Cue more confused squinting
“Oh my god, they hibernate, you headass.”
it finally clicks and the look on his face makes it seem like he just learned the secret of the universe, and afterwards he’s going on about how cool that is while you just roll your eyes and lay back down to try and go back to sleep, bringing the blanket over your head to try and drown him out
He eventually gets the hint and leaves, but after a while, you kinda feel bad for blowing up on him. He was just concerned and didn’t fully understand your quirk
so letting out a huff, you pull the blanket down and call out his name, to which he immediately runs to you at the sound of, asking you what you need
you just wordlessly lift up the blanket to expose the empty side of the bed, and oh boy, the size of the grin he gets on his face is unmatched
immediately throws off his hero costume so that you can both be comfortable and jumps into bed with you, holding you impossibly close
you fall asleep in a matter of minutes while he just looks at you fondly, hand soothingly rubbing your back.
Just like the other two, he finds you incredibly cute. Like mans is in love, okay?
everytime he sees your little ears twitch, he just gets the strongest urge to touch them, but he never does without your consent becuase he knows how sensitive they are.
“Uh... y/n, do you mind if I... touched your ears?”
Baby probably feels so awkward asking ugh PLEASE REASSURE HIM
“Oh? Yeah, of course, Toshi. Knock yourself out.”
oooh he’s excited. He’ll be super gentle about it, just lightly grazing them with his fingers before gently rubbing them between his thumb and forefinger
and at that point you’re littlerally melting, practically falling into him because him caressing your ears like this feels absolutely amazing
When he sees how it’s affecting you, he immediately becomes a blushing mess and apologizes, but you just hug him and tell him it’s okay and that you liked it
yeah he definitely rubs your ears whenever you’re feeling stressed or anxious because it’s become a quick way to relax you
only when he does it though. If anyone else randomly touches your ears, you get kinda uncomfortable
Just because they don’t look human doesn’t mean they still weren’t a part of you, dammit
Anyways, one day when you’re waiting for Toshi to come back home, you’ve got yourself wrapped up like a burrito in your blanket, sitting on the couch as you watched tv
it had been snowing all day, but luckily Toshinori had turned up the thermostat before he left, remembering how you mentioned that you’re not a huge fan of the cold
unfortunately for you, the harsh weather had no trouble taking out the power, leaving you in the dark and the cold
it didn’t take long for the cold to start seeping in through the cracks in the windows, and you quickly began to grow tired before you inevitibly passed out on the couch, still wrapped tightly in your blanket
When Toshi gets home and sees you on the couch, his first reaction is “aw, how cute.”
but then when he comes up to you and starts calling out your name to try and wake you up and you just won’t, and then he notices how much your breathing has slowed down, he quickly growns concerened.
He’s not in full panic mode yet, but he’s getting there, and he’s quick to crouch down to your level and grab your shoulders to start shaking you to wake you up
which you do, blinking groggily at him like you weren’t just in full hibernation mode
“Oh... Hey, Toshi,” you mumble, and you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down so that you can nuzzle yourself into his warm chest
He’s not able to ask you about what happened to you before you’ve already fallen back asleep, and when the power comes back on a few minutes later, he does a quick google search on chipmunks and mutant quirks before putting two and two together
Now he’s thinking of all the ways he could make you something to burrow into during those especially cold winters
#mha headcanons#mha x reader#all might headcanons#toshinori headcanons#toshinori x reader#aizawa headcanons#shouta aizawa x reader#present mic headcanons#present mic x reader#hizashi yamada x reader#bnha headcanons#eraserhead headcanons#eraserhead x reader#request#ask
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tags: nameless oc x javier peña, nameless oc x javier pena, angst rating: e ( explicit ) warnings: smut, language. word count: 3k+ summary: marriage requires sacrifice; theirs takes a little more than most notes: i definitely did steal the title of this chapter from the original scenes from a marriage and you know what? i’d do it again. anyways, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy this installment! if you want to be tagged in this series, just shoot me a message or fill out my taglist form that’s available on my masterlist (pinned post). original gif by: @javierpcna
the art of sweeping things under the rug
scene two, scenes from a marriage
Wedding bands can vary in weight depending on the sort of week you’re having, she finds. Conveniently light, sometimes--nearly invisible, as if intertwined with oneself--and then, impossibly dense at others. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, she tells herself, but she’s on no throne, and there is no crown. It’s just her and Javi, and the elopement that tied them together.
The ‘70s had faded silently into the ‘80, and it’s easy to feel in love when the future looks promising. Well--maybe promising is too generous of a word for what they had felt then; perhaps uncertain is better. It wasn’t the sort of uncertain that fills one with dread either, the kind that leaves them in the dark with no flashlight. No, it was the uncertainty that felt good; the sort that made them think whatever was offered in the decade they’d not yet painted with plans was going to be great. It was promises of catching Pablo, promises of a promotion, promises of a proper marriage in the country they’d come to love in their own separate and shared ways. It was realists sharing one optimistic view in a world that seemed so void of them, and now, as she sits at the dinner table in her apartment, looking at the thin band on her finger, she wonders if they’d rushed into it
Her mother told her a mal tiempo, buena cara. In bad times, keep a good face. Just grin and bare it, wait for the uneasiness of the life they were living now to trickle into the marriage she anticipated, but she isn’t sure what sort of marriage she was anticipating. She had understood that there were going to be hardships, but she had welcomed them then because she thought they were going to be hardships they would endure together. They weren’t doing a very good job at the together.
It isn’t that she doesn’t love him. She has an unwavering love for him, but the absence of his being in her life has begun to create a festering wound in her heart. She’s torn between asking him to never leave again—to quit it all and stay wrapped in bed with her, pretending the horrors outside of their utopia didn’t exist—and saying nothing at all. Grinning and bearing.
He’s a good man. A great man, actually. He’s gentle, funny. A little too stressed for his own good most of the time, and a bit grumpy until he settles somewhere, but he’s exactly what she needs, and everything that could break her if he so wanted it, too. And she knows he never would want that, but she isn’t sure he knows he can either, because if he did, then he was tiptoeing dangerously close to that line.
Sighing, she shakes her head, dismissing it all.
The afternoon has begun to fade into the evening, and the cool summer wind blows a gentle breeze into her home. Javier said he wouldn’t be working late at the Embassy tonight, and she had told him she’d cook dinner, but the eagerness that had overtaken her then had been worn by the sight of his wedding band on her dresser. It was the thing that made hers seem so heavy. The thing that made her want to cry, really, and it was so silly, but she could not help the angry ball of frustration and confusion that formed at the sigh of it, or the way it had turned into the lump in her throat.
She yearns for the days when it was just fucking—the way they hadn’t exchanged anything personal so nothing could be personal. She misses the way he would call her, flustered, at all hours of the night and the way she’d always open her door for him, and they’d kiss passionately and fuck roughly and explore each other over and over.
But really, she doesn’t want that, either. She doesn’t know what she wants.
She hears the jangle of keys, hears the latch open, but she doesn’t turn to meet him. Instead, she’s lit a cigarette, and she’s staring out the window, looking at how the sun shadows the town. She puffs away at the cigarette and he says nothing when he enters. He just throws his keys on the counter and then moves quietly over to her, hands falling to her tense shoulders. She hates the way she leans into him too; how effortlessly the anger ebbs.
She looks up at him, and he smiles gently. He looks worn, as though he’s fighting something that she won’t learn until the early hours of the morning, when he’s spent from spent from sex and the general excitement that paints all of his days. Javi is interesting in that way—not emotionally stunted, but hesitant.
“You didn’t make dinner?” he asks while pushing her hair away from her neck, pressing his lips there quickly. He nuzzles against her for a beat, taking in her scent, feeling the warmth of her against him in gratitude. He is spent, and he’s wanted nothing more than to come here. Doesn’t even really care that she’s not made him dinner, just said it to hear her.
“I didn’t,” she responds, more softly than she likes. Her heart is tender for him, kind naturally because his being warrants it. She wants to yell, but she can’t because she loves him so goddamn much.
“S’okay,” he mumbles. Javi moves away from her, slipping off his jacket and sitting it on the chair. “We can order something later if you want.”
She nods, putting out the cigarette. “When do you have to go back in?”
“Six tomorrow morning. What about you?”
“I took tomorrow off.”
His eyebrows furrowed, “¿Por qué?”
“Because,” she shrugs. “Only so much depressing material you can write until it starts to wear you down.”
“You know I said—“
She cuts him off. “I don’t want to live off your paycheck. I know what you said but I’m happy doing what I do. Just—“ she pauses, struggling to think. “—not all of us can give our lives over to the cause all the time.”
She meant that, meant that entirely, and knows he feels it by the way his features settle into a look of pure nothingness. Stoned face, giving nothing. She’s sorry for it, but can’t say it. He doesn’t ask for her to.
“Cruelty doesn’t look so good on you, baby,” he tries to tease, but it comes out flat and serious. She bites at her lip, and turns her head to the window, back to the city, trying not to cry.
“Are you angry with me?”
He’s a good detective, isn’t he?
“Javi, I don’t want to fight.”
“You are angry with me.”
She sighs heavily. “No, I’m not.”
“You are, and I wish you’d just say why.”
“It doesn’t even matter, Javi,” she dismisses it with a simple shrug of her shoulders. “You’ve been at work all day and—“
“Is it because I work so much?” he interrupts.
“Goddamnit, Javier, I’m not fucking angry with you!” she shouts. Shouts like she is angry with him. Silence ensues and she wants to crawl in a hole and disappear completely.
“You left your wedding ring,” she admits quietly, half out of remorse, half because she can’t stand the way he’s looked down at the table and not looked back up. Or how he sits like he’s torn between fleeing and staying. “But it really doesn’t matter, and I don’t know why it bothers me so much because I know you...you don’t mean to hurt me.”
“No,” he shakes his head. He still does not look at her, focusing on a line in the table. “I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Javi, I said it didn’t matter.”
“But it does.” He finally looks up. “It matters if it makes you angry with me. I left it because I forgot, that’s all.”
“I said it doesn’t matter.”
“You never fucking fight me.”
“There’s no reason for it,” she replies.
“There is reason for it.”
“Javi, please. I don’t get you for very long and this is not how I want to spend it.”
“Stop doing that.”
“What?” Confusion paints her features.
“Running from it. Fight with me.”
“Why do you want to fight so fucking bad? When you’d turn into such a fucking masochist.”
She feels that lump in her throat again, feels the way it wants to give way and lets it all go the way he’s requesting. Fills the bitterness creep into her system the way she hates.
“I’m not a masochist,” he replies, “You’ve obviously got shit to say, so say it.”
“Fuck you, Javi,” she chokes, blinking back tears now. She definitely did not want this.
She gets up to move, but he grasps onto her wrist.
“Don’t run away,” he repeats. He’s angry too.
“Let me go,” she spits out spitefully. He has such a loose hold on her that she doesn’t even need his permission to escape from it, but it’s the concept more than anything. He does let go, but she doesn’t move.
“I didn’t want to fight with you.”
Her cheeks begin to heat with anger, and it’s the worst sort of anger, the kind that makes her sob because she can’t contain it. It’s an anger that feels unfair, and she can never beat it; the tears begin to fall rapidly.
Sympathy tugs at his heart; his steely resolution falls as quickly as it has come up. “I know,” he acknowledges. “We’ve got to fight, sometimes, though.”
“I know, but I don’t want to. I only see you two days a week and I don’t want to spend one of them yelling at you,” she confesses. “All I want you, Javi. Is that so much to ask?”
It’s his turn for shame to fill him. He knows why that can’t be—knows it’s because there’s things she can’t know and having her in a building full of DEA agents comprises the both of them. She’s in danger just wearing that wedding band on her finger; God forbid any of those fucking narcs ever found out they were married. He shouldn’t have done it, married her, but he could not help it; a sort of selfishness that was not uncharacteristic had pushed the boundaries within him, and he decided the good outweighed the bad. But, maybe it didn’t.
He stands and envelops her frame in a hug. She sighs into his chest and wraps her arms tightly around him. She only wants to make him happy and to be happy with him. Why did it seem so hard? When this all began, it felt so easy, so nice and now it felt hard.
Javier kisses her softly, just a peck and she feels lighter because of it. As he goes to pull away, she pulls him closer again, pressing their lips together. He responds, a hand resting on her hip and the other on the small of her back, holding her against him. She initiates a deeper kiss, swiping her tongue against his lower lip. They stand like this for a few minutes, kissing and basking in the presence of each other the way they’d both desired.
It is Javi who pulls back from their kiss, needing air and wanting to take it further—just not here. In the beginning of their relationship, when it was just fucking, sex felt something they had to do everywhere; on the couch, on the table, on the counter, in the shower, on the ground, even in front of the window. And they still did that, still let spontaneity sway them, but they’d settled into more comfortable routines too. He liked fucking her in their bed, the one thing they always agreed was undeniably both of theirs wherever it resided. It was their bed so as long as they both fell there to sleep.
He doesn’t even have to speak, just nods his head in the general direction, before she’s tugging him along.
She sits down on the bed and peers up at him, eyes still red from the tears. He feels awful about it, but doesn’t have it in him to say it. Can’t, for some reason. It’s lost between his brain and his tongue, but it finds its way out through the gentle way he presses her onto her back and lets his lips kiss her everywhere. He kisses her face, her lips, then her neck, and then he goes further, pushing her shirt up and pressing his plush lips against the newly exposed flesh. Then he then he’s undoing her pants, kissing the spot where her panties usually begin. He offers her a mischievous grin, and she smiles back at him.
“You really didn’t want to fight, did you?”
She shakes her head. “No, you fuck, I didn’t,” she laughs.
He continues his trail down her body, and she lifts her hips so he can remove her pants. Javier presses his lips on her hips, on the flesh directly above the pubic bone. Then, he presses them on the inside of her thighs, teasingly slow when he gets closer to her core, and she whines out of protest when he spots. Her eyes flicker down to see why, and when her eyes met his, he presses his tongue against her clit. A moan escapes her and she grasps onto the bedspread. Javi is encouraged by this, swiping his tongue against her folds, dipping his tongue into her, tasting her—really, truly admiring every part of her—before pressing his tongue back onto her clit. He begins to suck gently, and she writhes without control beneath him. A trained expert at this now, he anchors her down by wrapping an arm around each thigh, holding them in place.
“Javi—“ she manages to say, just as the tension begins to build in her stomach. “Oh Javi, baby, faster.”
He obliges and she is quick to find her release in a matter of seconds. Javi remains in between her thighs, licking up her arousal. He’s gotten good at this, knows the way she likes it, knows how to do it even when she can’t tell him.
She carts a hand through his hair, tugging gently, and he removes his lips from her finally. Despite her worn state, she’s quick to rise and meet him, uncaring about her arousal on his face as she presses their lips together once more. He kisses her back with more need than he previously had, his jeans feel tighter and more constricting than usual.
“I want to ride you,” she whispers against his lips, and he nods eagerly. Her fingers work at his belt, and then the button of his jeans, hardly making it past the zipper before she slides her hand into his pants and palms his already hard member. He winces against her lips and she can’t help but grin; this is her Javi. This is the marriage she wants.
“Te amo,” she says, beginning to tug at his jeans. He assists her, pushing them down all the way.
“Take off your shirt,” he demands, tugging at the fabric. She obeys him, throwing the shirt in the same place his pants fell, before he tugs her closer to him. A gasp falls from her lips as she mounts him, the warmth of his length agonizing so close to her heat. She reaches between them, lining his cock up to her entrance. Eyes connect as she fills herself with him, and his mouth falls open, desperate to moan but too choked by the feeling of her around him. She moves slowly, not wanting to release the warmth of him yet in favor of forming a steady pace to ride him. Javi, however, is growing increasingly aroused beneath her, and can’t help the way he guides her on his cock. “Please,” he begs, brown eyes dark with desire. She nods, and they move together, her hips following his hands instructions.
“Fuck,” he breathes out, watching the way he slides in and out of her. “I’m not going to last much longer, baby.”
Distracted by her own desire, she merely nods his confession, grinding herself on him until she fills the beginnings of another orgasm, the sweet release inches away. He doesn’t lift her from himself now, wanting to savor this feeling for a few moments longer. “Te amo,” he finally responds back, a deep groan releasing at the way she squeezes around him. She grinds against him, and he lets her, allowing his finger to undo the bra they’d both been too eager to take off as she does. It falls slowly down her chest, and as soon as it exposes her nipple, he’s quick to wrap his mouth around it. This earns a throaty moan from her, and she swears her orgasm isn’t ever going to end.
He pulls the fabric down her arms completely before turning them over, never leaving her once. He is desperate now, denied his orgasm too long, and the heat is pooling viciously in his stomach. He thrusts roughly into her, a whine emitting from her lips when he does, but she lifts her hips to meet him the second time he does it.
“Faster, baby,” she encourages, and he presses his fingers into her hips so hard that he’s certain the skin will bruise as he thrusts into her for the last time.
He slides out of her, and with a few more rough tugs on his cock, he’s releasing on her stomach. He wants to lay beside her, flat and lifeless as his lugs play catch up (it’s the fucking cigarettes, but he can’t stop them), but he resists the urge. He leans towards the bed stand and grabs a handful of tissues, wiping himself and her clean of his cum. She lays still, watching him intently, a soft, appreciative smile embedding in her features.
“I miss you a lot, you know,” she says. He throws the tissues away in the bin across the room, and she takes in his frame; admires the way his back looks, the broadness of his shoulders, even his ass. He’s a good looking man, on top of everything, and she’s happy to be his wife. She just wishes it was easier.
“I do know. I miss you too.”
He slides back into bed, uncaring of his nakedness, and she uncaring of hers. He pulls her bare body against him, and she wraps a leg around her hip. She traces his lips with her finger and he takes her hand, kissing the palm of it.
He loves her, loves her so goddamn much that the guilt of the wedding ring on her dresser eats away at him. It bites and bites because the way he’s so casually lied about why he left it, acted as if it wasn’t deliberate. Doesn’t want to tell he’s afraid they’ll find out if he doesn’t, doesn’t want to have to worry about if she’s okay anymore than he does already. He calls her every night, checks in at the same time so he knows nothing is wrong, and she knows he does this, but there’s a thousand things she doesn’t see. A thousand things he doesn’t want her to see, either, like the way he left the wedding band because he’s afraid or the way he drives past her house every night before he goes to his, just to ensure it’s still there, even though he knows it is. Doesn’t want her to see the anxiety that fills him every time he hears about a bombing or the way he can’t sleep when he goes away. He wants their marriage to be perfectly normal, wants it all to be perfectly normal. Colombia deserves to be a country where marriages don’t feel this hard, and that’s all he wants to give her, but he can’t.
As she lays against him, she can feel the tension in his body, knowing by the way he holds her a little too firmly that he’s thinking about something. She wants to ask about what, but she doesn’t want to spoil the moment.
They’ve both become experts at sweeping things under the rug—at sacrificing—and neither of them knows whether it’s good or not, but they’ll continue to do it. Lie causally in order to protect, not address the pain and disorder, just for moments like this, moments that feel entirely like their own. Moments that make them feel married and dedicated to one another.
This is scene two from a marriage.
tagged: @filthybookworm
#javier peña x oc#javier peña x reader#javier pena x oc#javier pena x reader#javier pena x nameless oc#narcos fanfic#narcos fic
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The Complications of Friendship and Love
James Potter x reader, very little Sirius Black x reader, James Potter x Lily Evans
@wand3ringr0s3‘s 1.9k follower writing challenge: Angst prompt 5. “I never thought something could hurt this bad.” The prompt has been bolded :)
Summary: Being best friend’s with your ex is complex. But adding your best friend dating your ex? Things got a whole lot more complicated.
Words: 2.4k
Warnings: angst, low self-confidence talks, friendship betrayals, unrequited love, 1 swear word
A/N: jsdf I’m sorry this took so long love <3 I wrote half of it and then lost motivation and then got back to it after so long 😂 anyways I hope you all enjoy it xx
Next part: The Benefits of Friendship and Love
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Y/N Y/L/N had believed that James Potter was her one true love; the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with. But there she sat in her Potions class watching her two best friends giggling and flirting with each other wondering where did she go wrong?
“Are you sure you want this?” he asked, not glancing at her.
“Of course I do, James,” Y/N replied, bewildered he would even think about asking her such a question.
“It’s just- I’ll be really busy you know. With quidditch, NEWTs coming up and being head boy, I won’t have a lot of time to give you,” James explained.
“I don’t care about that. As long as I’m with you, nothing else matters.”
James didn’t get a chance to say anything as Sirius just plopped down next to Y/N, throwing a hand over her shoulder. “What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing,” said James before launching into a conversation with Remus about prefect duties.
“Right, nothing,” sighed Y/N, picking at her food.
“Hey, can we talk?” Lily’s voice snapped Y/N out of her daydream. Her eyes connected with the grey eyes of Sirius Black before she turned around to face Lily with a smile, “Of course, Lils.”
“Can we go somewhere...” Lily looked around the courtyard, “a bit more private?” she finished.
Y/N nodded, stringing her bag around her shoulder as she followed Lily towards the Black Lake. It was a rare warm day at the beginning of October of their seventh year. The grounds were filled with students soaking up the remnants of the warm sun before a cold, harsh winter took over.
Lily led Y/N to a secluded area near the edge of the Black Lake. She stood there, rocking back and forth on her heels, wiping her hands on her uniform every few seconds. She took a deep breath, turning to face her best friend. Her forehead creased, her bottom lip pulled in between her teeth, nibbling down on it.
“Is everything alright?” asked Y/N softly, concerned at her best friend’s behaviour.
“Yes- well um no. I guess- I just need to tell you something. Promise me you’ll listen to the whole thing before speaking?”
Y/N nodded; her eyebrows furrowed in worry. What could Lily possibly have to say that’s gotten her so anxious?
“I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did, especially without talking to you first. James and I, we’ve been dating. Since a few weeks ago before the term started. We didn’t tell you because I knew it’d hurt you and none of us wanted that. We’ve broken up now. We talked a few days ago. I- we couldn’t carry on like that, not when we knew what we were doing would hurt our best friend. I knew you liked him, and I still said yes, and I shouldn’t have done that, especially after he hurt you so badly. I know you’re upset; we shouldn’t have hidden it from you in the first place, but we’re over now.”
Lily looked up suddenly, shocked to hear Y/N laugh. Not a hurt, mocking laugh but a genuine laugh as if she had heard something really funny.
“I know, Lily,” Y/N said giggling, “You all did an extremely bad job at hiding it.”
“Really? And you’re not upset?” Lily asked nervously.
“Of course not, silly. But I do think you’ve both gone mad. Absolute bonkers. How could you ever think I would stand in the way of my two best friends’ happiness?” Y/N asked with a small smile.
“I can’t. We can’t do that to you.”
“Rubbish! You’re not doing anything to me. Go, be with him. Be happy, both of you.”
A grin made its way onto the redhead’s face she jumped onto the Y/H/C, squeezing the life out of her.
“Thank you! Thank you so much. You’re the best,” Lily shouted as she ran back towards the castle. She turned her head to see her best friend with a small smile on her face, what she didn’t see were the tears gathering in her eyes and how her face fell once she was alone. What she failed to see was the sight of her best friend falling onto her knees, breaking down once again.
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Sirius, Remus and Peter found Y/N sitting against a tree, face resting on top of her knees drawn to her chest. They all grimaced at the sight of her blotchy face and red-rimmed eyes. She looked so broken.
“You knew, didn’t you?” she whispered, continuing to stare at the still lake before her.
Sirius, Remus and Peter stayed silent not knowing what to say. They did know from the beginning. James came back home shouting about it as soon as it happened. They were asked not to tell her and so they didn’t, a big mistake on their part they realized a little too late.
“Leave me alone” requested Y/N, her voice hoarse from crying.
“Y/N/N, we are-” started Remus.
“Please, just go,” she pleaded weakly. She had no energy left to do anything anymore. Her heart hurt too much. She’d wasted all her energy trying to be enough for a boy who wanted nothing to do with her; all for nothing.
“Alright. But we are sorry Y/N,” said Remus softly.
“We’re here if you need anything,” Peter went on.
Y/N didn’t reply. She made no acknowledgement that the words reached her ears. She continued to stare at the still water, a defeated look on her face. Remus and Peter turned to walk back to the castle. Sirius sighed and took a step towards Y/N, ignoring the pointed look Remus sent him. He leaned down to press a soft kiss against her head.
“We really are sorry, love,” he mumbled before following his best friends back to the castle.
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A few months passed by. The weather got colder; the wind got harsher. The leaves changed colours and fell. The green grass began to get covered with white snow. All through this, Lily and James got stronger. Every girl was envious of their relationship. The golden couple, they were known as throughout the school.
Meanwhile, Y/N continued to suffer on the sidelines, never showing anyone how badly she was hurting. She wore a bright smile, fake to anyone who really looked. Sirius, Remus and Peter noticed it, she had begun to pull away from all of them, spending all her time in the library when she could, sitting with other people during meals. Anytime they approached her she would cut the conversation short saying she had somewhere to be. The times where she did stick around them, she wasn't the talkative Y/N they knew and loved but a shell of her former self.
Y/N felt disgusted with herself for the hate and anger she had begun to feel towards her best friend. It was justified in her eyes, but she knew no one else would see it that way; she would be considered too dramatic, petty and honestly, a bitch. Due to this fear, Y/N kept quiet about how she felt about the situation. She couldn’t rant to Remus, Sirius, Peter, Marlene, Alice or Dorcas. The only person she could rant to, who would understand her completely or otherwise not judge her, was the sole cause of all her problems in the first place.
James Potter not only ripped her heart right out of her chest and stomped all over it but also left her alone with no one she could talk to, making her spiral into a whirl of self-hate and loneliness with nothing to keep her from drowning.
“What happened to not having enough time to be in a relationship?”, “Be more like Lily then maybe we’d like to hang out with you more”, “Look at Lily, she’s beautiful and she takes care of herself” were the only thoughts that swirled through Y/N’s head on repeat. Her self-worth was reduced to the size of a speck of dust, ready to be blown away into the open by the lightest of breaths. Sirius had noticed her change in mannerisms, clothes, tone of voice; almost everything and it made his heartache. He watched from afar as she continued to distance herself; not that anyone could blame her. But it appeared that her absence went unnoticed by everyone, except by him, Remus and Peter. Not even her best friend noted the lack of her presence; too involved in her new boyfriend and busy making new friends.
Y/N soon found comfort in her friends from Ravenclaw, particularly Dave. He understood how she felt; not completely but a bit was better than nothing. He was someone she could rant about James and Lily to without the fear of judgement. Dave and Lily had broken up a few months before she’d started dating James; turns out she had liked James throughout their relationship, using it as a backup since James was showing interest in her best friend at that time. But in the end, not even the friendship of Dave was enough to fill up the empty void inside her, the gaping hole that she believed only one person could close.
Y/N was broken, like a mirror shattered into a thousand pieces and the glue that could put her back together was only in one person’s possession.
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Y/N wanted to cry; she wanted to break things, thrash a whole room as she collapsed under the weight of her sobs. She wanted to scream into the void until her throat ached, her voice hoarse and raw. She wanted to shout at Lily for deceiving her; for pretending to care all these years. She wanted to yell at the universe, asking what she had done to deserve this. She wanted to punch James, break his nose for destroying her. Y/N Y/L/N had lost herself and she was nowhere to be found.
Y/N knew everyone would pick Lily if it came to it. Everyone always picked Lily; she was the much more favourable and lovable choice. It hadn't bothered Y/N much at first, she would gladly pick Lily first over herself too, but it started to get too much when people she was close to first - she’d introduced Lily to (such as the Marauders) - chose her. The last straw was drawn when James, the only person in the world Y/N had thought would never abandon her; tossed her aside like a second choice, opted for her. The person she revealed her deepest, darkest secrets to; whom she told things she’d never imagined telling another living, breathing soul had thrown her without a second thought, without any regret, onto the side of the road like rubbish without glancing back once to see the damage he’d caused. He’d promised he wouldn’t turn out like the rest. He’d promised to her.
Maybe it was all her fault. She gave her everything to him; her heart and soul, all her time, her first kiss, amongst other things whether she wanted to or not. There were days where she wondered whose fault it really was. Was it her? Was she not pretty enough? Lily Evans was beautiful; no one could deny it, you looked like a tiny twinkling star next to the glowing moon. Surprisingly the only person that comprehended what a first kiss and relationship meant to Y/N was Sirius Black, the notorious player of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was the only one who’d not told her to get over it and instead held her hand through the period of time when she had needed someone to rely on.
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“Y/N! Wait! Y/N/N!” Y/N reluctantly slowed down, waiting for the person calling her name to catch up to her. She found herself in the company of Sirius, Remus, and Peter once a hand quickly grabbed her and pulled her to the side of the corridor.
“What do you want?” she asked impatiently. She just wanted to go back to her common room and sleep - an evening of peace - but the universe was against her, as usual.
Peter looked around nervously at the tone of her voice whilst Remus looked as if he’d been expecting this reaction.
Sirius raised an eyebrow in question, “Have somewhere to be, do you?”
“Yes actually.”
Sirius sighed before his mouth pulled into a wide cheerful smile choosing to be the bigger person, “Well we’re all sneaking out to Hogsmeade later if you wanted to join us.”
“No thank you. I’m busy,” Y/N said pushing her way from between them and walking away.
“How long are you going to keep this up!?” he yelled after her, irritated.
Y/N froze, anger bubbling through her blood and she turned on her heel slowly to face him.
“What?” she asked slowly, her teeth gritted, and her free hand clenched in a fist.
“Padfoot, don’t,” Remus muttered in warning, placing a hand on Sirius’ arm.
“No Moony,” Sirius said shrugging his hand off, “Someone needs to tell her that enough is enough.”
“Enough? Enough!?” Y/N laughed taking a step closer to Sirius with every sentence. “Enough was when my best friend decided to date my ex despite him breaking my heart not once, not twice but three times! Enough was when my best friend decided to date the boy who left me shattered behind my back! Enough was when my best friends knew about all this and chose to keep it from me!
“Enough was when all my friends left me stranded alone.”
The pain she’d locked up inside washed over her, her knees buckling beneath her. Sirius moved swiftly, gathering her in his arms before she hit rock bottom. Y/N clutched his shirt in her fists, soaking it as she sobbed against his chest.
“I never thought something could hurt this bad,” her voice broke, tugging Sirius’ heartstrings. Y/N’s heart ached; her chest physically hurting as it constricted her heart. The pain was too much to handle; the wound tearing open and blood smearing the ears of whom the sounds of her anguish fell upon.
Sirius had always known a time like this would come. A time when he’d sit there holding the love of his life in his arms as she sobbed into his chest over his best friend, for his brother. And there was nothing he could possibly do about it.
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