#anyway thank u for this opportunity <33< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[suppenzeit]

rant abt any of ur stex ocs. GO

um i will talk about two characters who i barely ever talk about because i don't have good images of either of them and haven't bothered to draw new ones </3

First up is Chesley the Chessie M-1. He's fucking huge, tall and strong, but so much more bark than bite. Acts more fussy and vain than people would assume a steamer to act. So very anxious, has a bad temper and some health problems he worries about. Loves the rest of his train a lot (Dahlia the dome car, Primrose the passenger coach, and Diedre the dining/theater car). Has a crush on Roscoe, the bobber caboose who lives in the same yard.

Next up is Thorne, cause I wanted Elektra to have a mom (tho Thorne uses they/he exclusively). Them having Elektra was basically an act of rebellion and they weren't the best parent one could have. A bit too harsh and cold at times, but they never didn't love Elektra.

At the current moment they just chill at a train equivalent of a resort, still being mean and bitchy, once in a while checking up on their little cygnet (Elektra). (EDIT: forgot to mention that he almost exclusively wears dusky pinks)

[autobotdrift]

HELP ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I READ HOMESTUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THE DIRK DECAPITATION STUFF LOLLL

SKJFLKAFSGHLDSFHGFD YOURE VALID !!!! it was really underutilized imo. i think he did it to himself once MAYBE twice? ? and then he got dave to do it for him another time in the finale when they were fighting one of the jacks. it's criminally underutilized tech across all of the homestuck epic if we're being real

[hannieehaee]

hii!! i hope ure having a great day

i just wanted to request loser!scoups hehe I RLLY LOVED CHANS VERSION AND WAS HOPING TO SEE MORE 🫶🏻 anyways take your time to answer when ure free, thanku!

18+ / mdi

content: loser!seungcheol, afab reader, smut, dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 2686

part 1, part 2, part 3

a/n: hii thank u for requesting <33 i never considered loser!cheol before but ngl i loved writing it hehe i hope u enjoy <3

masterlist

despite popular belief, seungcheol was actually a bit of a loser.

okay, maybe his appearance didn't necessarily fit the bill (with his slicked back hair and bulging muscles), but everything else about choi seungcheol truly screamed loser.

even with a large group of fratboy friends, seungcheol was still the loser of the friend group, being the only one who had opted out of joining the frat and who spent every day and night studying rather than ever attending any of his friends' parties.

this was all by choice, he swears! seungcheol was just far too serious about his education to let anything become a distraction. and it had always been like this, even dating back all the way to middle school (jeonghan could vouch for this, having known him basically since diapers). due to this, seungcheol had always been kind of a black sheep in any and every social situation he ever found himself in. as a result, seungcheol ended up becoming shy, awkward, utterly embarrassing in social situations, and as jeonghan liked to put it, a 'virgin loser.'

even if seungcheol wanted to disagree with his friend, he knew he was right. here he was, twenty-one years of age and still a lonely virgin who had never even felt the touch of a woman's hand in his. he'd had opportunities before, set ups orchestrated by his friends, but he always managed to fuck them up. due to jeonghan's outgoing disposition, the girls he usually set him up with were set for a surprise upon meeting a his friend seungcheol, who could not even hold eye contact for more then twelve seconds (he counted).

except this year that would all change.

now in his senior year of college, seungcheol had an epiphany.

on the very first week of senior year, upon being assigned a new dorm-mate due to his previous one transfering, seungcheol finally saw a mirror of himself.

his new roommate was, for lack of a better term, a fucking loser (the term being courtesy of jeonghan once again). seungcheol had barely met the guy, yet he could not stand one more moment of conversation with him. not only was he a know-it-all who could only ever talk about academics, but he was maybe even more of a loser virgin than seungcheol was (at least that's what seungcheol was able to assess from the three separate occasions in which he walked in on his roommate watching porn in the common area of the dorm). his hygiene was terrible and his wide-rimmed glasses made him look like the typical nerd in every high school movie. everything about him was what seungcheol feared to one day become.

this one week of torture had been enough for seungcheol to finally take jeonghan up on his offer to join his frat and subsequently move into the frat house. granted, jeonghan had to break a few rules to allow a new pledge with zero obstacles in the way, but jeonghan was just charming enough to get away with it.

seungcheol had already spent the past 10+ years with perfect grades and pristine extra curriculars, so he figured that even if he completely flunked these last two semesters, he would still be a shoe-in for the masters program he'd been eyeing since arriving to university.

so now seungcheol was immersed in the frat lifestyle, though he still felt a bit out of place, which unfortunately for cheol, was something his good friend jeonghan noticed immediately. but this would only be a problem for a short while.

unbeknownst to seungcheol, jeonghan had orchestrated a plan for seungcheol's first frat party. it all started with giving seungcheol a bit of a new look. jeonghan insisted on throwing out most of cheol's 'nerdy clothes' (admittedly, he did dress like an old man at times), traded in his thick-rimmed glasses for some better fitting specs and lastly, gave cheol a trim to better frame his face. after all these changes, cheol felt more confident but still did not feel ready to attend one of the frat's well-known parties.

the decision was, however, taken for him, as he found himself in attendance to one just a few days later. also unknown to cheol was that jeonghan had been playing cupid once more, scouting to see which one of his closer girl-friends would be a good fit for his friend. and of course, his attention immediately fell on you.

jeonghan had only known you since the last semester of his junior year, in which the two of you had partnered up for a project that took up the entire fifteen weeks of instruction. the two of you hit it off pretty easily, but you hadn't quite caught his attention in a non-platonic way.

but you had caught someone else's.

although it had only been a fleeting moment, jeonghan caught onto every single look and action that had occurred the day in which seungcheol had accidentally interrupted a study session between the two of you.

he had easily noticed the blush in cheol's cheeks upon seeing you for the first time, along with the way he shyly checked you out when you weren't paying attention. what had surprised him the most, though, had been the way you checked out his friend as he went to leave the room. that had been enough for jeonghan to decide to play matchmaker between the two of you if the opportunity ever arose. and that was now.

getting the two of you alone was not difficult, but jeonghan knew better. he knew that sending the two of you into an empty room, completely blind to whatever he was planning was just a bad idea. so jeonghan decided that for the first time in his life, he would not scheme. he would simply set up the scene and leave the rest to you.

when jeonghan first came up to you a few days back and let you know about his friend's crush on you, you had been pleasantly surprised. what had shocked you the most, though, had been the revelation that jeonghan's cute friend was actually an inexperienced virgin. jeonghan told you to please not bring it up to cheol, but that he felt it was best you knew so you didnt feel caught off guard should you ever try to hit him up (which he knew you would). what jeonghan didnt realize was that this fact excited you more than you'd like to admit.

planting that seed was more than enough to get you looking for cheol in the empty room jeonghan had said he'd be in (okay, maybe he did scheme a little), prepared to deflower the pretty nerd you'd been thinking about every time you started to notice him sitting alone in the library every other day.

you had dressed to the nines, donning a red slip dress that gave you breathing room but still accentuated every part of your body you wished to stand out. ready and confident, you quietly opened the door to what you assumed to be jeonghan's room, knowing you'd find his pretty friend inside.

sitting alone on the bed, seemingly trying to psych himself up as he whispered affirmations to himself, the boy jumped back upon your unexpected intrusion, with his hears instantly turning red at realizing who you were.

you were jeonghan's pretty friend. the one seungcheol had had some unbecoming thoughts about immediately after seeing you in jeonghan's room last semester (and subsequently seeing you around campus as his eyes would unknowingly always search for you). and you looked .... fuck. and you were alone in han's room with him .... and you had closed the door right behind you .... and now you had walked all the way over to where he was sitting at the edge of the bed, not shocked at all to see him there ....

"hi," you smiled at him.

"h– hey."

"are you okay? how come you're here all alone?", you sat next to him on the bed, damning all boundaries, apparently.

"oh, i ... just a little nervous, i guess."

"yeah? of what?", despite the unexpectedness of the situation, you seemed genuinely interested, so seungcheol responded.

"it's, uh, my first party as a member of the frat."

"oh, really? i had no idea you were a member of the frat. that's pretty cool, seungcheol."

"you know my name?"

you scoot closer, smile still on your face, "yeah, of course i know your name. do you now mine?"

"oh, i, uh, yeah ..."

"okay, so we know each other. do you maybe want a friend to go out there with? maybe that would ease your nerves," your hand had somehow made its way to his thigh, now invading his personal space a bit. except he couldnt find it in himself to complain.

"t– that's fine, i, uh, i have han and– "

"but arent i better company?"

"y– you're ..."

"can i be honest with you, seungcheol?", you didnt wait for a response, "hannie told me that maybe you needed some help. that i could maybe help you out?"

"help? what type of help do you mean?"

you leaned in even closer, "do you want me to show you?"

"i ..."

"all you have to say is 'yes', cheollie ...", you breathed out now close enough for him to feel your breath on his lips.

he nodded and made an embarrassing noise of affirmation, completely giving up on speaking.

it was embarrassing how easily he let you turn him into a puddle, not even bothering to question how or why jeonghan orchestrated this situation. but that didnt matter as he finally felt the lips of a woman against his own – your lips; the lips of the girl he'd been crushing on from afar, jealous that maybe you'd become more than jeonghan's classmate. this was a clear declaration that his assertions had been incorrect.

seungcheol wasn't sure what to do with his hands (or with his tongue) as he kissed you. he felt you smile against his lips at his whimper, making feel that maybe you were making fun of him. when you pulled away, he feared that maybe he'd been right.

"cheollie, let me show you, yeah? just let me– yeah, like that", you positioned him in a way that would allow you to straddle him as you said this, wrapping his arms around your waist, "okay now let me show you how to kiss me, okay? just open your mouth a bit for me and let me teach you. then you can try it on me."

with that, you leaned into his open mouth, sticking your tongue inside as you played with his own, sucking on it and causing his eyes to roll back, another embarrassing moan leaving his lips.

"do you wanna try it now?", you asked as you pulled away.

he feared his voice would betray him, so he just nodded before leaning in.

seungcheol mimicked your previous actions, though his were a bit sloppier and more desperate. he whined at the way you sighed and pulled at his hair due to the way in which he suckled at your tongue and squeezed his fingers on your hips.

eventually you began to also kiss him back, making it a battle between your tongues all the while seungcheol tried to keep up.

suddenly your hips began to move against his own, making him groan in pleasure. after that, you leaned over him, causing the two of you to lay on the bed as you practically rode him through your clothes.

cheol couldnt help his cries of pleasure at feeling you press against his now swollen member. he didnt want the feeling to end, so he grabbed onto your hips and helped you in your movements, even grinding his own hips upwards to match you.

"cheollie ... do you want more? hmm? wanna feel what its like?", you purred against his ear while pulling off your dress, leaving you in a tiny bralette and thin panties.

"yes! fuck, please. i'll take whatever you wanna give me, just ..."

"shhh, it's okay. i'll give it to you, pretty. you dont have to beg. want you just as bad," you kissed him again before he could reply.

without him noticing, you had thrown off your bra, something which made him completely blank when you pulled away and began talking to him. none of your words made it through his head. he was far too busy looking at the pretty nude girl in front of him. he salivated at every inch of naked skin, wanting nothing more than to lick and kiss at every curve. out of all parts of your body, his eyes were glued to your tits. the fleeting thought of suffocating in them flew through his head, making him shudder.

"cheol?", you grabbed onto his chin and pointed his gaze towards your own, finally breaking him out of his trance.

you giggled at his confused face, causing him to sheepishly apologize for dozing off.

"it's okay, pretty. i'd be distracted too if i could get all these clothes off you ... that's what i was asking actually, can i?" your hands began to teasingly pull at his top, mangling it a bit so it could expose some skin.

his nod was all you needed to rip off his shirt and pull off his pants with urgency that had seungcheol blushing. after getting him fully naked, you threw off your panties and finally sat against him completely bare. the heat of your skin against his was enough to have him burying his face against your neck and begging you once more to please give it to him.

"shhh. i'll give it to you, pretty. i– i'll give you everything," and with that, you sank down on him, throwing your head back at the intrusion.

meanwhile seungcheol was completely gone. the warmth of your body against his had been one thing, but feeling your heat wrap around him was what truly did him in.

it's not like he had stayed a virgin by choice. he had tried to hit it off with many of the girls jeonghan set him up with, but none of them showed any care for him. they'd all expected him to step up and fuck them. even when he would try to shyly explain that he had never done anything sexual before, he'd just be met with scoffs or laughter. but you had walked him through it. you had complimented him and made him feel comfortable. you had made him see pleasure for the first time in his life.

although these thoughts swam through his head as you fucked yourself on his cock, seungcheol's mind was otherwise completely empty. all he could think about was how good you felt and how pretty you sounded as you threw your head back and pulled at his hair. you were just the embodiment of pleasure.

all cares and worries were gone from his brain until the moment in which he felt all his pleasure reach a peak.

he didn't want to be a fucking loser and cum so soon, but you just felt so fucking good, he couldnt help himself. he cried a warning out to you, to which you encouraged him to let go and told him you'd follow him soon.

his orgasm was something he never couldve imagined. but your own orgasm soon trampled that experience. your tightness as you let yourself go while still wrapped around him had him delirious with pleasure. without meaning to, his nails dug into the skin of your pretty hips as he lost consciousness for a few seconds.

unable to fully process it, he felt a sweet peck against his lips before feeling you cuddle against him. he didnt have to think twice before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer.

"remind me to thank that idiot", he spoke up after some moments.

"who, hannie?", you giggled against his chest.

"yeah. he was onto something when he made me get ready in his room."

"oh? he sent me in here looking for you."

"that fucker", he chuckled, "owe him one."

[theother-victoria]

all hearts as one beneath the sun

SYNOPSIS: before kakavasha dissolves into the nihility, there is one hope he has to let go of. may you meet again in a kinder world and under a warm sun.

CHARACTERS: kakavasha, aventurine, dr ratio, aventurine's family, sunday

TAGS: angst, no comfort, established relationship, mentions of suicide, 4k+ wc

TAGLIST: @mitsvriii, @harque, @hazyue, @gabile18, @khoncore, @moineauz

NOTES: sobbed to "had I not seen the sun" the entire time I was writing this I love making myself cry w my own work

special thanks to @akutasoda, @tragedy-of-commons, and @https-sourlimes for proofreading this! love u all <33

link to the playlist

Aventurine was mildly surprised when he received word that he would be handling the Penacony mission. Why him, of all the Ten Stonehearts? Surely someone more capable such as Opal would be trusted with a mission of this caliber. 

He only realized why when he pried further into the details. 

Penacony was a death trap. With so many powerful and important people gathered in one place, one wrong move on his part would spell his end.

He chuckles sardonically. Figures. They’re sending their most suicidal employee out for a suicide mission.

As if to rub the situation into his face, he finds out they’re pairing him with Dr. Ratio. What purpose is he supposed to serve, suicide prevention? Too little, too late, in his opinion. 

The doctor doesn’t look too thrilled about the fact either. It makes Aventurine feel somewhat better about this whole situation. 

“You’d best get your affairs settled before we leave, gambler. The odds that you make it back alive from this mission aren’t as high as you’d hope they’d be.”

“Ooh, well I do like the sound of that.”

A glare sent his way makes Aventurine roll his eyes, but he shuts up anyway. Plans are made and discussed for what role each of them will be playing before it’s time to leave. 

“Well then, I look forward to working with you in Penacony, Doctor.”

“Just don’t act like a complete idiot and we’ll be fine.”

The two men head their separate ways. Ratio’s advice to settle his affairs lingers in his mind, though. That means there’s a will he has to sign, assets he has to distribute, funeral arrangements to be made, and more. Of course, most, if not all of it, will be going toward you. You’d be set for the rest of your life, never having to work a day again if you so chose. 

He heaves a sigh. Ah, it’s all so tedious. It was all so much easier before you came along. He had no will to worry about. He’d toss caution to the wind every mission and wind up sorely disappointed when he returned, still alive. If he did end up dying, his assets would end up being pawned off and most likely make their way back to the IPC somehow. So what even was the point then?

With all that being said, he didn’t mind putting in all that extra work for your peace of mind and so you’d continue to benefit, even after his death. 

Still, the stakes this time around are higher, and he has you to consider now before placing his bets. One wrong move and you’d be left without someone to welcome home. And then there’s the consideration of whether he’d be willing to die when the moment came. Sure, he’d attempted several times before but they’d all failed. Would he be able to take the plunge this time, should the opportunity present itself? 

“Hey, Doc?”

Ratio is about to leave, but the uncharacteristic hint of hesitation in his voice makes him stop and look over his shoulder.

“... How can you tell if you’ve lived a life worth living?”

Ratio stares at the blonde in silence in disbelief over what he’s hearing. Aventurine chuckles, trying to dispel the awkwardness that’s settled in the air.

“No answer? Never mind-”

“That answer will vary from person to person. However, if you were to ask me personally…”

The doctor’s ruby eyes flit over Aventurine’s frame, narrowing in contemplation- and perhaps a hint of resignation. 

“Ask yourself this question: can you die today without any regrets?”

“Can I die today without any regrets?” Doctor, what were you thinking when you posed that rhetorical question on me? Obviously the answer would be no!

Expensive leather shoes click against stone as Aventurine hurriedly makes his way through the Dreamscape. The weight of having mere hours left to live looms above his head like an anvil, leaving him scrambling to figure out how to cheat death- not for the hope of living to see another day, but so he can carry out his mission. 

When confronted with death, even a suicidal man will cling to the urge to live for one reason or another. 

He’s hardly paying attention to where he’s going, muttering out half-hearted apologies to those he bumps into as he stumbles through the Dreamscape before he ends up in a secluded area. The kaleidoscopic iridescence in the corners of his vision makes him stumble and he audibly groans when a searing pain flashes through his temples, the Harmony’s brand on his mind assailing him again. 

Dammit… am I really at the end of the line now? And before I could do anything meaningful either…

He hears the sound of a… child humming some distance away? That’s strange, there’s no one else here. 

“Mister, are you lost too?”

That voice. 

He turns around slowly, as if that would change anything. Aventurine’s eyes dart across the boy standing before him, with rags for clothes and scraped knees. The child in front of him is everything he is not- or rather, what he was, but is no longer. Optimistic, with bright shining eyes. Hope still exists for him. 

Those eyes. Oh, it’s himself. 

Aventurine thinks he’s about to be sick. 

“Woah, you have such pretty eyes! Can I call you Mr. Pretty Eyes?”

Aventurine stiffly nods. 

“Sure. Call me whatever you want, kid. What’s your name?”

“It’s Kakavasha. Nice to meet you!”

And that’s the final nail in the coffin confirming his suspicions. 

Kakavasha looks around nervously.

“I was searching for my family, but I got lost. This place is so much bigger than home… Mister, do you think you could help me find them?”

Aventurine shakily extends a trembling hand out.

“Of course. Lead the way. How about you hold onto my hand so you don’t get lost anymore?

Kakavasha latches onto it and begins wandering around, calling out for his parents and big sister. Every unanswered call feels like a punch to the gut but he has a faint flickering of hope that he’ll be able to see them.

“You really love your family, kid,” remarks Aventurine in an attempt to keep some conversation going. 

“Of course! I do!”

Kakavasha pauses in his steps and thinks for a bit, eyes wandering skyward and free hand resting on his chin.

“… Do you have anyone you love, Mr. Pretty Eyes?”

“Yes, I do. Their name is (Name).”

The boy’s eyes light up, sparkling in curiosity.

“Woah, really? What’re they like?”

A light chuckle escapes Aventurine’s lips as he crouches down to Kakavasha’s eye level and ruffles his hair. 

“They’re the best thing to have ever happened to me.”

“Wow, they must be a really amazing person for you to say that…”

“They are. They're incredible.”

I don’t deserve them.

He chuckles and stands back up again, hand reaching for Kakavasha’s. The little boy continues to lead the way, until he suddenly stops and turns. 

“Would you like to meet my family? They’ve been gone for so long I think they went back home. You can introduce (Name) to them as well!”

Panic wells up inside him. Seeing his family? In this state? After all he’s done? No, he can’t. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t. Not under these circumstances!

“Kid, I don’t think-”

“It’s ok if (Name) shows up late. They’re nice people and they’ll understand.”

“No, I-”

“Come on, let’s go! They’re already waiting for us!”

Aventurine feels himself being forcefully pulled under and he instinctively closes his eyes. A blast of hot, sandy air hits him, making him shield himself. When it settles down, he opens his eyes to a familiar sight. Sand stretches as far as the eye can see. There’s minimal vegetation and he can feel the sun beating down on his back already.

Sigonia-IV. He’s returned home. 

Kakavasha eagerly tugs on his sleeve. 

“This is my home! I know it’s not much, but everyone I know and love is here. I think you’ll like it too.”

Still holding onto Aventurine’s hand, Kakvasha begins running toward the horizon. Aventurine, meanwhile, feels numb all over. 

There’s no way this is happening. Is this some sort of cruel prank? What did that chicken-wing boy do this time? But if this is just a cruel prank…

He looks around at the yellow sand stretching as far as the eye can see and the mountains in the distance.

… Then it’s far too realistic. How is this happening? If I filter out the memories of the massacre, then everything is the same as I remembered it. 

“We’re almost there!” calls out Kakavasha. “Just a little longer now!”

Three familiar figures stand in front of a tent some distance away and Aventurine feels his heart seize up in his chest. He’s long forgotten their faces, but he instinctively recognizes them.

Mom. Dad. Big Sis. 

Kakavasha lets go of his hand and sprints toward his family. He leaps into the arms of his big sister, who spins him around giddily while his mother plants kisses over his face and his father holds his tiny hands. 

As he approaches, he realizes they have no faces. Where there are supposed to be eyes, a nose, and a mouth, there is nothing. A blank canvas with dents and ridges where the features are supposed to be greets him and he feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise up in warning. 

The only exception to this is his sister, with her grinning mouth and her long blonde hair billowing in the wind- the only feature he remembers clearly about her. She takes notice of him and tilts her head curiously to the side. 

“Kakavasha, did you br▇ng a f▇▇▇d of ▇urs?”

Her voice comes out scratchy and distorted with only a few syllables recognizable. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes why.

He can’t remember her voice anymore. Or the voices of his parents, for that matter. He’s forgotten what they look like, and now what they sound like. What’s been forgotten can’t be restored. 

“Yeah!” exclaims Kakavasha nestled safely into his sister’s arms now. “Everybody, meet Mr. Pretty Eyes!”

They greet him with friendly waves and scratchy sounds that he thinks are supposed to be words of greeting. He almost chokes on the guilt and regret building up in his throat

“▇▇ look just like ▇▇ Kakavasha over here! ▇▇ ▇▇ ▇▇ ▇▇ his long-lost b▇▇▇▇r or something?” 

Aventurine forces out a laugh as the others join in. 

If only they knew…  

The sun is going down now, and the solar winds that blanket the planet grow harsher. They quickly usher him into the tent, telling him to make himself at home and inviting him to stay for dinner. There’s no way out as far as he can tell, so he obliges.

 It’s smaller than he remembers, he thinks as he ducks to avoid hitting his head. There’s a rudimentary kitchen setup in the back that Kakavasha’s mother is tending to as she begins preparing dinner. Kakavasha hops into his sister’s lap and shakes the sand out of his hair and gets it everywhere, to which she lightly scolds him with a tug on his cheek. 

He takes a seat on the fraying rug in the center and rubs a brightly-colored teal tassel between his fingers. The sand is already starting to seep into his clothes. He feels grains of it in his shoes and it pools onto his pristine white dress pants. Grains of it are nestled deep into the fur collar of his coat from the harsh solar winds outside that even vigorous shaking won’t dislodge.

Kakavasha’s sister smiles at him. It’s a bit unnerving, just seeing a smiling mouth with no other features.

“So, Mr. ▇▇▇ Eyes, w▇at 's your ▇▇▇ ? At least, I’m a▇▇▇ ming Mr. ▇▇▇ Eyes isn’t yo▇▇ r▇l name.”

“It’s Kaka-”

He swallows hard and kicks himself. He’s not Kakavasha. Not anymore.

“It’s… Aventurine.”

The very act of saying that name makes him feel like he’s betraying his family, stabbing them in the back. 

“A▇▇▇▇▇ , huh? What an in▇▇▇ing and pretty name!” remarks his sister. He feels the air rush out his lungs and almost coughs up a sardonic laugh from the sheer irony of it all. First his family, then his language, then his body, and now even his name? Is there anything left that he can truly call his from his culture? 

Thunder distantly rumbles overhead. Kakavasha and his sister peek their heads out curiously of the tent. She gasps excitedly and points to the darkening clouds overhead. 

“Hear that? ▇▇ sign ▇▇ your birthday is ▇▇▇ ▇!” she exclaims as she holds Kakavasha’s hands in hers.“▇▇▇ ▇▇ excited?”

… His birthday? 

Thunder rumbles overhead again and he hears the pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the tent. 

His birthday. The Kakava Festival. 

His heart sinks into his stomach as his family chatters around him. They talk about birthday celebrations and what they’ll do that day, but it’s a muffled mess in his ears. Is it really almost his birthday already? Sigonia-IV followed many beliefs that were independent from the rest of the universe, namely the Aeon belief system, and that also extended to the calendar system. Truth be told, he wasn’t exactly sure what day his birthday was in the Interastral Standard calendar system. He usually just flipped a coin and that was if he even bothered to celebrate, which he hadn’t done in many years. 

Aventurine does some quick estimating and realizes that yes, it’s almost his birthday. But how would he celebrate his birthday in this world, where all was good and he still remembered their faces and voices? 

Aventurine closes his eyes and thinks. His mother would be overjoyed to know that her beloved son finally has a lover now. She’d make him clean the tent from top to bottom in preparation for your arrival, even though the sand would find its way back inside again within a matter of a few hours. His parents would cook up a feast for your arrival while his sister would pester him to tell more stories about you- as if there were any left that he hadn’t. When the time would come and you’d nervously step through the tent flap with one hand holding his tightly and another clutching some gifts, his mother would rush forward and greet you with a kiss to the cheek, having already accepted you as family. His sister would steal you away from him to dote on you, much to his half-hearted chagrin. His father would tell corny jokes that you’d cringe at, and his mother would teach you recipes that had been passed down for generations, her warm, weathered hands resting atop yours and lovingly guiding your movements in the kitchen. 

The five of you, safe, warm, and alive under the sun. 

Hours after the rest of his family had gone to sleep, you’d lie side by side outside, watching the stars drift on by. Sigonia-IV is nothing like Pier Point. Free from light and industrial pollution, you’d have a stunning view of the cosmos every night. Twinkling stars shine overhead, so close you could practically pluck them out of the sky. Multicolored clouds of gas and stardust bathe the sky in their shifting hues as he tells you stories that have been passed down from generation to generation with the occasional shooting star passing by. You’d stay like that for hours on end, content to just listen and watch, until you were lulled to sleep by his voice. 

It would be cold, as all desert climates are at night, but it was nothing he couldn’t bear with your warmth nestled into his side. 

In the spring, or around now, he’d take you to celebrate the Kakava festival under the stars with a roaring bonfire. The festival itself would be a solemn and silent celebration with people murmuring prayers to the Mother Goddess and tossing sacrificial vessels into the fires, but the celebration of his birthday afterward would be loud and joyful. Bonfire sparks would rise up into the sky, carried by the hot solar winds and the rich sounds of his people’s songs. His mother would drape you in turquoise jewelry and gift you traditional clothes that she would’ve spent hours beforehand making by hand, every stitch a labor of love. He’d teach you to dance to the cheers of his family and the familiar tunes he’d hum under his breath. His movements would be fluid and graceful as he spins and twirls you around, while you stumble and flail along. He’d enjoy every second of it- even if you step on his feet the whole time. 

He would be kinder in this world, he thinks. He’d still be Kakavasha. Aventurine would be an unknown man to him. He’d wear his heart on his sleeve and his eyes would still have life to them. He’d never have to hide his left hand. 

And you’d be happier too. You wouldn’t have to sift through the layers to find the true self underneath the act he puts up. He wouldn’t be so hot and cold- practically love-bombing you one moment and then disappearing without a word for weeks the next. He wouldn’t be a dirty gambler, a two-faced businessman, a disinterested womanizer, cheating scum, an IPC mutt, a corporate bootlicker, a worthless Sigonian slut or who knows what else you’ve heard about him–

In this world, there are no Katicans. The Avigins and his family are still intact. His neck is unmarred and he speaks the Avigin dialect fluently, instead of the halting and choppy cadence that's even worse than that of a child’s. Syrupy, honeyed words spill from his mouth as he teaches you common words and phrases in his mother tongue. Have you eaten yet? How did you sleep? How was your day? I missed you. Mother. Sister. Father. Lover. Goddess. I made you something. I saw this today and thought of you. Be safe. Sweet dreams. Goodnight. I love you. He chuckles when you parrot them back to him haltingly, with your accent mixed in. The notebook you keep with various phrases, their meanings, and their phonetics grows every day. The most worn out page was the one crammed full of declarations of love that sound more akin to poetry as your mastery over the dialect grows. The ink is smeared from how often you’ve run your fingers over them, murmuring them under your breath until you’d committed them to memory. In your arms is the safest I’ll ever be. I’m lucky to call you my lover. I sleep better when I’m with you. I secretly name stars and constellations after you. I’ll kiss the weariness away from your face every night. I pray to Mama Fenge every night for your safety. I imagine her hands and embrace to be as warm as yours, and it reassures me somehow. I’ll miss your warm hands when that day finally comes. Goodnight, I love you.  

We’ll be together even in Kakava’s next aurora. 

Aventurine jolts forward with a start. His eyes search around frantically, instinctively searching for his family and you, only to be greeted with a familiar sight that isn’t his home. Bright flashing lights, the sound of cars honking and speeding by, muffled pop music playing in the distance, and the sugary scent of SoulGlad greet his senses instead of arid hot wind that howls in his ears and endless seas of sand. You and his family are nowhere to be seen either. 

Oh. Right.

The Dreamscape.

His clothes stick to his skin drenched in a cold sweat and his glasses are resting lopsidedly on his face. His whole body is shivering uncontrollably, as if he’s been plunged into ice-cold water without warning. The world is going white before his eyes and all he can hear is the loud thump of his pulse in his ears that suddenly drops. He thinks he’s about to pass out again. This is the end, he thinks. Aventurine leans against the side of a wall again, taking deep, heaving breaths to steady himself and quell the nausea swirling around in his stomach. 

When it subsides and he doesn’t feel like he’s on the verge of death (sadly), he sits back up and forces out a laugh in place of a sob. First forcing a religious consecration onto him, then dangling his family in front of his face? How much crueler could the head of the Oak Family get? 

His heart sinks and an overwhelmingly bitter feeling engulfs him. It was just a dream all along. A dream within a dream, really. Was he really that desperate for something familiar again?

(And just like that, the mask known as Aventurine is back in place.)

(But he couldn’t even say goodbye or apologize to his family one last time, even if it wasn’t them.)

It was a pleasant dream, he’ll admit. How nice it would be to live in that world forever. But he knew it was a dream because it could never happen, as much as it pained him. 

Aventurine hears the voice of Kakavasha drifting along from further up ahead and knows he’s nearing the final leg of his plan. With what little time he has left, he takes pictures with the boy for posterity and buys the child all the treats his eyes rest on for more than a second. Aventurine delights in the way his eyes light up at the first taste before he eagerly digs in for more. 

It’s cathartic, in a way. 

Before stepping on stage, he looks up at the sky. It’s perpetually nighttime in Clock Studios Theme Park, but he knows the sun is shining elsewhere in the Dreamscape. Is the sun shining where you are back at home? He thinks it’s morning for you. You must still be asleep with the cat cakes curled into your sides, blissfully unaware of the news you’ll wake up to. 

Get onstage. Fear not. Never look back. 

One last thing to do.

He sends a final text to you.

Aventurine: I love you.

It stays on delivered when he puts his phone away. It’ll be the first thing you see when you wake up, and that’s more than enough for him. 

It’s time for the curtain call.

The feeling of Kakavasha’s tiny body in his arms won’t be enough to chase away the grief. Nothing ever will be. But this’ll be the closest he can get.

Aventurine hugs the boy close, squeezing as hard as he can without hurting him. He feels how he’s nothing more than skin and bone beneath the oversized rags. No child should have to be this thin, he thinks, and he’s even more glad he treated Kakavasha to his heart’s content earlier. 

This is the end. He gives Kakavasha one last squeeze to imprint this memory into his mind and gets up, waving goodbye over his shoulder all the while. 

He never looks back. 

In a shower of light, Kakavasha dissolves into the Nihility, and with him, Aventurine’s hopes for the ideal future- the one that you deserved. The Horizon of Existence is finally devoid of all color save for himself and the dark sun beckoning him forward toward the event horizon.

He takes a step forward, and then another. The sound of his footsteps against the surface and liquid splashing echo loudly in the empty space. 

The Nihility is beginning to slowly engulf him. He feels it encroaching at the edges of his mind, eating away at his thoughts one by one until nothing remains. A hollow, empty feeling settles into his heart that weighs him down. Aventurine looks down at his hands and realizes the color is beginning to seep from his vision until he, too, would become one with the Nihility. The point of no return beckons to him like a moth to a flame. Nothingness, emptiness, worthlessness. There’s nothing left for him to do. 

“Can you die today without any regrets?”

Aventurine finally has an answer to that question. The past is gone and he’s walking toward no future.

Yes. I finally can.

enjoyed this? my taglist is open!

@ theother-victoria, do not copy, repost, modify, translate, or feed to ai

[grendel-menz]

hi hello yes i’m sorry to bother u, but your art is so so so beautiful and gut-wrenching (in the best way possible). your “put up wet” comic, in particular, is just,,,like. i have no words. i feel like someone’s reaching into my chest and rummaging around in my ribcage. if that makes sense lol.

anyway!!! thank u!! <33

i was wondering what your writing/drawing process is like?? if you’re comfortable answering that, ofc! no worries if not!

You’re very sweet, thank you :,) I’m glad my art feels genuine in its emotions!!

Honestly, a lot of days I don’t really have time to draw, so when I do get the opportunity I try to be as quick as possible and don’t sketch or fiddle around much with personal art. I’ll just be at work for hours and hours chewing over imagery and words I want to get on paper and that’s the main planning I do!

Here’s an example of how a lot of my visual poems are made. Don’t judge the writing on this one here I’m still thinking over the idea and poem. Also I hope this video ends up being a video and not a still, I’m on mobile.

[venuscxre]

⌞ COOKING BY THE BOOK .ᐟ ⌝

summary ; baking with lancelot might seem fun, but you know what isn’t? not being able to bake. luckily, lancelot is a great teacher.

request ; “ HI HIII !!! can i please request a lancelot x reader where reader and him try baking some cookies but reader absolutely sucks at it so he teaches her how to bake and the ending is just lots of fluff 🙏🏼🙏🏼 thank you and i hope u have a great day ilysm :33 ” — @svpremedeity

pairing ; lancelot / fem!reader

wc ; 966

tags ; fluff, established relationship, brutal honesty from lancelot, lancelot is a kitchen whizz like his dad!?? reader absolutely sucks at baking.

notes ; ahhhh!! ilyt!! i'm so so so sorry this took so long :((( i've been in a bit of a slump :cccc

𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠

it’s a rainy saturday morning in the middle of autumn, the leaves have changed their colours and fall gracefully to floor, the drag of the wind sways the trees whilst the gentle pitter-patter of rain chills the air, creating an incredibly soothing atmosphere.

you’re home alone at the moment, taking that as an opportunity to satisfy the endless cravings of a homemade treat. padding down the hallway to your kitchen, you contemplate what you’ll be baking and how much of it.

you rummage through your cabinets, digging through for the ingredients, and once everything is set out on the table, you begin the preparations. it’s just cookies, how hard could it be to make them?

you get out two different bowls, one for the dry ingredients and the other for the wet. considering the past failures in your cooking endeavours, you make it a point to follow a recipe that your mother frequently uses. nothing can go wrong as long as you follow a recipe, right?

elsewhere, lancelot feels a shiver run down his spine, making him rub his shoulders in discomfort. noticing him shiver, tristan sends him a nasty side-eye from who he’d just flung to the side like a ragdoll. “getting sick, lance? don’t tell me you’re bothered by a little rain.”

“shut up and worry about yourself, moron. i’m not the one who’s been sneezing non stop despite suggesting to train in this weather. besides, that idiot is probably in the kitchen.”

tristan scoffs and rolls his eyes. he doesn’t need to be told as to who ‘that idiot’ is; he knows it you. he finds it odd that lancelot refers to you in such a condescending way despite his apparent fondness of you. he guesses that's just how he is.

lancelot cuts their sparring session short and quickly heads over to your house. to his dismay, he does see you cooking from the window. sighing, he opens the front door, and with no warning, a metal mixing bowl is thrown straight at him. he ducks, whipping his head to you with a flabbergasted look as the bowl lands outside with a loud clatter.

“dammit, woman, what the fuck was that for?”

“i thought you were an intruder…” you mutter apologetically. “why’re you here anyway? weren’t you supposed to be busy training today?” you usher him inside, going to get a spare towel to dry him off.

“i got the feeling you were doing something stupid.”

“what? the only thing i’m doing is literally just baking. what the hell are you talking about?”

“exactly my point. you’re shit at cooking and baking.”

“am not!”

“are too.”

“am not– oh, shit, the cookies!”

he shakes his head in disbelief. seriously, could you not go a day without almost burning down something? this is why he’s banned you from the kitchen.

he watches as you frantically hurry about looking for your oven mitts and when you do find them and pull out the cookies, they’re a little charred. “see what i mean? you’re shit at this.”

your bottom lip juts out in a pout. “it doesn’t look that bad.. besides, i followed the recipe, so it should be fine.”

lancelot takes one cookie and examines it. he bites into it and shakes his head again. “it’s over stirred and way too salty. the chocolate chips didn’t melt well either. you wasted a lot of ingredients.”

your shoulders slump. despite the truth in his words, his blunt dismissal of your hard work causes you to feel bad. you’d made a lot of cookies to take to him.

lancelot notices the drop in your mood and sighs lowly. he walks closer to you, patting your back. “hey, it’s fine. not everyone is good in the kitchen.”

his attempts to lift your spirits are futile, and he smacks himself internally. “hey, c’mon, i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” his arm wraps around your waist. “you know i didn’t mean it that way.”

you’re slightly appeased by the physical contact, but still down. lancelot breaks away from the hug and goes to wash up the bowls that you’d used, and also retrieved the one that was still laying outside in the rain from your earlier assault. he looks the recipe and gets out the necessary ingredients.

“c’mere, sweet girl,” he beckons you over and you begrudgingly oblige.

“i’ll teach you how to bake these in exchange for your forgiveness. how does that sound?”

you sniffle but nod anyway. lancelot pats your hip and the both of you get to baking. he makes sure to walk you through the steps and aides you in stirring the batter, making sure that it’sthe right consistency.

“chocolate chip or plain?”

“..chocolate chip..”

lancelot can’t help but smile at your mumbled response. while he puts the cookies in the oven, you decide to make hot chocolate for the both of you. you add in minimal sugar but a lot of milk with just a few marshmallows, just the way he likes it.

whilst waiting for the cookies, the both of you clean up in silence and occasionally take a sip from your beverages. and about twenty five minutes later when the cookies are golden brown and crispy, lancelot takes out the cookies, leaving them to cool off for a bit.

“they smell good..” you murmur. lancelot chuckles, pecking your cheek. “i’m glad you think so. here, try one.”

he holds a cookie up to your lips and when you take a bite, you can’t help but melt.

“good, huh?” he grins smugly.

“yeah.”

the rest of the day is spent with the both of you cuddled up by the window, fast asleep. the cookies and your hot chocolate are gone. maybe you should bake more often– with lancelot’s help of course.

© VENUSCXRE: plagiarism, retranslation or reposts of my work is completely unauthorized.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated .ᐟ

[child-of-the-nights]

hello! could u maybe write something for elrond where he gets injured saving reader and she shuts off and starts avoiding him because it made her realize she loves him and she panicked? maybe she's a widow like him too? if not thank you anyway <33

I love Elrond so much so of course! Have fun reading!

Warnings: injury, near death experience, battle (so expect killing as well), angst (with happy ending) -> nothing graphic tho

A/N: the reader is an elven woman in this oneshot but let me know if you would like something else ^^

word count: 1676 words

Elrond x Fem! Elf! Reader: Elrond gets injured and Reader avoids him

Although Elrond never enjoyed putting his people's lives in danger, he would never refuse to assist those in need if requested. That is how he ended up in the middle of a bloody battlefield where armor, weapons, and bodies were being flung around like nothing. He was skilled enough in combat to protect himself from the enemy's blades, though. No matter how many orcs tried to attack him, he easily defeated them.

The battle raged on, the sound of blades deafening those involved. Arrows sped through the air and soon struck their victim, whose cries were barely audible. The elves fought with unmatched skill and grace, and Elrond slowly led them to victory. By that time, the orcs were outnumbered, and the elven Lord had some time to look around and aid his kin.

Amidst the chaos, Elrond caught sight of you, a brave and spirited elven woman, fighting alongside your people. You were as competent as anyone on the battlefield, but it so happened that you became trapped, surrounded by enemies, with no way out. Elrond jumped into action and moved swiftly to get to you without even pausing for a second. His blades cut through your foes before they could strike you down. Once they were all dead, he took a glance at you, trying to check if you were hurt but before he could proceed, an awful strike hit Elrond. He stumbled back, clutching his side, his face twisted in pain. The sight of his injury sent a shiver of terror through you.

"Baw (No)!" you yelled as you circled around Elrond to slay the orc. Your opponent died because he couldn't get his sword out of the elf's body in time.

Even though you wished to help Elrond, you were unable to do so since your foes spotted the opportunity and approached him. He fought bravely despite having a serious wound, albeit his posture wasn't as steady as before. You held your ground and defeated as many orcs as you could before the enemy decided to retreat.

When it was safe to do so, Elrond fell to his knees and groaned in pain. You rushed to his side and helped him to find a comfortable position. Shouts could be heard from afar, but you couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

"Everything will be fine." with great effort, Elrond reassured you, his voice strained but filled with determination. "Mae carnen. (You did well)."

You tried saying something, but words simply didn't come out of your mouth. Some fellow elves came to their Lord's aid as you stumbled back to give them space. It only dawned on you just now that if you hadn't found yourself in this situation, Elrond wouldn't have been injured. Everything after the battle happened so fast, the elven Lord got safely brought back to Rivendell, where the healer's immediately began to work, while the rest of the elves slowly traveled back.

It didn't feel real to be traveling back to your home. It was almost as if you were seeing with your eyes but your head was blank. Seeing Elrond on the ground had left your face pale. Everything that had happened felt too familiar. It seemed like the day's happenings were right out of your nightmares—the nightmares about losing your beloved spouse. You started crying as you thought back to that terrible day. After they passed away, Elrond was the one who helped you recover because he knew how painful it was to lose a loved one—possibly the most precious of them all. Elrond was the one who took the time to help you heal by lending you his wisdom.

Your sobbing became more intense with each thought. You had come to a realisation as you reflected on the time you spent together, the comfort his presence provided you, and the coldness the separation brought you. You suddenly realized what you had been experiencing while around him. It was love. You considered yourself dumb for only realizing that at the last second, just as you might lose him. And you were genuinely horrified by that.

Weeks passed as Elrond received treatment for his wounds in the security of Rivendell. When you learned of his recovery, you felt both relief and anxiety at the same time. Overwhelmed by the weight of your emotions, you withdrew, avoiding Elrond's presence, afraid of what your feelings meant and the vulnerability that accompanied it. But, Elrond being Elrond, you knew he had noticed it. Since you two were close, visiting him while he was recovering would have made sense. And yet, since the battle, he had not seen you. You ached to be by his side, to console and comfort him, but you were unable to.

As Elrond slowly regained his strength, he sought out your presence. Every time Lindir came by to let you know that Lord Elrond had asked for your presence in the gardens, you would come up with an excuse not to go. You avoided him at every turn, anxiously waiting for him to pass through the corridor. You could see how his gaze searched for you in the halls, but you were nowhere to be found. Elrond became very concerned and yearned to know why you had been avoiding him. It was unlike you to act like this.

Determined to understand the cause of your withdrawal, he sought you out, finding you in the quiet solace of Rivendell's library. You had been reading a book, trying to take your mind off of the elven Lord. That was until a gentle tap on your shoulder turned your attention away from the book. Your stomach dropped as you realised who had disturbed you. He took a seat beside you, without asking you first.

"What are you reading, exactly?" Elrond asked with curiosity.

Suddenly forgetting what you were reading, you looked down to view the cover. "Oh, I just grabbed something off the shelves." You tried to avoid making eye contact as you shook your head.

Elrond grew silent, noticing how even now, you tried to run away from him. It broke his heart that you grew to resent him so. If he had to be honest, Elrond fell for you a long time ago. He never really showed it but he longed for someone who could understand his pain. And then you appeared at his doorstep, asking for support after the death of your spouse. At first he just looked at you as a friend, but those feelings soon grew. If you hadn't expressed your disinterest in dating, he would've said something sooner. But being the gentleman that he is, he respected your bounderies and tried to move on. The problem was that he couldn't.

"Please, mellon nîn (my friend)," he began softly, his voice carrying a mix of concern and vulnerability, "help me understand. Why do you avoid me so? What has come between our friendship?"

Those words stung. You sighed, unable to give him a straight up answer. But you knew Elrond valued honesty so you gathered all your strenght and looked him in the eyes. "I cannot express it, Elrond, for I fear if I do, history will repeat itself."

Elrond looked deep in thought, carefully deciding his next sentence. "I'm not quite sure I follow." he admitted.

You looked away, trying to hide your pained expression. "The battlefield, brannon nîn (my lord). It was my fault."

"It hardly was." he shook his head, slowly sliding closer to you. When you had not moved away, he reached out to grab your hand.

"You nearly lost your life, Elrond!" you yelled. "If that blade was aimed just a bit higher, you would've dropped dead! And it would've been because of me! Because I was incompetent enough, to let myself get trapped!"

"Please, do not think of yourself this way." his pained voice could be barely heard. Elrond's eyes widened in shock at what you were saying. He in no way had blamed you for his injury. "Any of us could've been in your situation. You fought well, you came to my aid when I needed it. Why do you put yourself down?"

"I just..." you sighed. "I can't lose you too, Elrond."

His grip on your hands became firmer. "Is this the reason for your withdrawal?"

You hesitated for a second, then nodded. Although it was difficult, there was a part of you that wanted him to be aware of your worries. No matter how hard you tried to turn it off, that self-indulgent part of you wanted to be comforted by him. "My feelings, they terrify me. It's as if acknowledging them would make my fears come true. After I lost... them, I didn't want to put myself through the pain of loving someone but on the battlefield I had realised that I had already broken that promise. You matter so much to me that I cannot even express it with words. I have fallen in love with you, Elrond. And it scared me."

Elrond took each of your words in carefully. He pondered on them for some time before giving you a nod. Elrond's gaze softened as his hand reached out to gently cup your face. "I understand your fear. Loss leaves deep scars upon our hearts. But shutting ourselves off from love only denies us the chance to heal. I, too, have felt the sting of loss, the ache of a heart once broken. Yet, here we stand, with an opportunity to experience something quite beautiful together."

His words shocked you. "You feel the same way?"

"Chin gelair chîn orthernir guren (Your radiant eyes conquered my heart)." Elrond smiled at you.

Finally, when he whispered those words, you felt the warmth of his presence spread throughout your body. Elrond welcomed your hug as you threw yourself into his arms. Although your worries have not vanished, it helped a lot to know that someone was by your side.

[johnslittlespoon]

So, I've reread TAS about 6 times, maybe. With every read through, the story somehow gets better. Anyway, I gotta know: when Gale chooses the horror movie before their first kiss, did he do it with the intention of scaring John into his arms? I remember that cliché from media growing up. The guy choosing the scary movie so that he can wrap his arms around the pretty girl.

You write Gale really well, and he's doing the whole "we're taking this at your pace" thing. So I want to know if the scary movie was a calculated decision.

Also, thank you SO MUCH for writing this story; it is my current obsession.

okay gonna get into some TAS gale pov asks bc i have a few >:) but SIX TIMES???? i will literally never ever be able to wrap my head around anyone rereading my stuff, it’s so mind boggling and it makes me a little (a lot) teary wtf :’)) <33 that’s actually insane LMAO thank u this is so so sweet 😭💗 ok buckle in bc i had a lot to say oops

tbh i definitely had that cliche in mind while writing it, like as soon as i decided they’d be watching a horror movie, i knew they’d have the cliche ‘hold me i’m scared’ moment, because it would be a good way to ease into the first kiss. however i don’t think it was fully intentional on gale’s end, because really, i think gale would’ve been happy to sit through like a three hour documentary if that’s what john had wanted lol.

so i don’t think he was swaying john one way or another, but he definitely had zero complaints about having an excuse to hold john when he got scared ;) and obv at that point, gale’s not dumb (and john is not subtle lmfao), so gale was probably 99.9% certain john had feelings for him, and he was giving john every opportunity to do something about that, since gale was so stubborn about giving john space to figure things out for himself and make the first move. :)

another rereader i cryyyy <333 thank you, would also run thru a brick wall for u 😭💖 YES gale’s pov very much interests me, i’ve got a whole section for it in what i call my TAS masterdoc lmfaoo. i have a stupid amount of oneshot ideas now in his/other character’s povs that i’d love to get to at some point!

but also hey ouch thanks for hurting my heart <3 😭 i do feel like there were probably a few “oh no” moments for gale after meeting john, like the classic ‘i’m fucked’ realizations, and i think seeing him smile properly for the first time would be one of those. john’s so caught up in his own head half the time that he probably didn’t notice the way gale stopped breathing the first time he was on the receiving end of his sunshine smile :’)

i genuinely think gale’s internal monologue during that moment would just be ‘fuckfuckfuckfuck’ because really, what else can he do but fall head over heels? i’m sooo excited to dig into gale’s pov eventually, to get into how much he wrestled with himself and how he’d told himself never again after losing johnny, and then in walks this gangly, sweet, loud–mouthed college kid, and gale’s never been so happy to have his life turned upside down.

(john and gale actually do have a little bit of a conversation about this in ch11 because i couldn’t resist, but until that’s up, i leave you with the assurance that gale was smitten from day one and just trying to repress it for a multitude of reasons, but then the incident happened where gale saved him from the blind date, and it was all over from that moment on. the urge to protect john and to keep a smile on his face hasn’t left gale since that moment <3)

LOLL. definitely an admonishing “gaaaaale” moment. 

i’ve had so many questions in AO3 comments asking if i’ll write gale’s pov of the conversation he has with marge, and i 100% want to, it’s the first gale pov oneshot (aside from the smut i posted lol) i’m planning on writing for this fic. i’ll try to answer some of those other questions here just to keep them in one place:

i think marge definitely had her suspicions about gale’s feelings for john — she knows gale too well to not know when something’s up, but she also knows that gale comes to her about things on his own time, that she just has to be patient, it’s how he’s always been since they were kids. but there’s no way she wasn’t squinting at gale when she found out john had spent the weekend (multiple times) at his house.

the first time is one thing, because when gale explains that john had gotten wayyy too drunk and seemingly had some situation he didn’t want to go home to, she’d understand gale letting him crash at his. she sees how gale is with john at the beach after that, and it probably gets the wheels turning in her head, but she also knows gale to have a big heart and to be prone to taking strays in, so it could just be written off.

when she finds out that john’s been staying at gale’s every weekend after the incident with his mom, at the very least she had to have asked him who takes the couch just to watch gale squirm, which then confirmed her suspicions lol. after that it’s only a matter of time before gale spills it all to her, and her reaction will eventually be detailed in one of those gale pov oneshots :-) 

[och405o]

Hey lol, can i request an &team reaction to their sunbae idol s/o (who's the leader dancer and rapper and is also from hybe) mentioning them on a show or in a live and saying that they love their content/music and that their rlly handsome(like cmon their gorgeous) and they like find out from fans and fanboy over them and they didn't know that they were watching the live...and ima stop there cuz it's so long srry (i'm the same anon who asked u just now btw even tho it's lowkey obvious)

Anyway hope ur doing great and hope this helped ur writing block. Luv uuu<33

&Team reaction to idol s/o mentioning them on live

Andy’s notes: Hi anon!! Thank you for requesting!! I hope you enjoy this 🫶🫶

Summary: While live a fan asked your opinion on the group &team, giving you the opportunity to talk about your perfect boyfriend

K:

K had opened Twitter to be met with hundreds of tweets from Lune and your fandom. Obviously the first emotion he felt was confusion and a little panic. He scrolled through the thread and saw the clip from your groups live.

“Oh someone asked if I like &Team. Of course I do! I think my bias is definitely K. He is so handsome and talented, how can someone not like him”

K smiled at the clips, watching it over and over again. I think K would tease you a little about it but would be really happy that you love him so much.

Fuma:

He would be doing a birthday live (Happy belated Fuma day) when people started commenting about your live. He would be confused but as people began to explain it he would understand. He would worry a little about rumors but I think he would be one to reveal it himself with the help of the company before any scandals or rumors started to spread

Nicholas:

(This little shit) He would definitely tease you when he saw all the ships and fan edits of the two of you.

“Awe daring look at this clip you are practically drooling over me.” He would say while siting with you in a practice room. He would absolutely love seeing you talk about him with so much love.

Ej:

I think his first reaction would be to panic. He knows it’s not always a good think when you are trending on Twitter. He would be worried about scandals and rumors, knowing that could affect your careers. I think he try to distance himself from you in front of camera to avoid them. But don’t worry he definitely shows his live when you guys are alone.

Yuma:

He would be watching your live with some of the other guys when your fans started asking for your opinion on their new comeback. Obviously you were excited to talk about it and your amazing boyfriend.

“Oh it was so good they all looked great especially Yuma. He definitely shined in this comeback. I was thinking about learning the choreography for it, what do you guys think?”

Yuma would love it. I think he would get a little shy but overall he would think it was really sweet and definitely would be a little more clingy with you to show his appreciation.

Jo:

Jo was a hard one for me. He would be awkward (plz save him he doesn’t know what to do) people had already started to ship the two of you and Jo was a little worried. He was conflicted. Like obviously he loves you but he doesn’t want to affect your career. He wouldn’t worry as much as Ej but would definitely want to be careful from now on.

Harua:

He would think you are the cutest person to every walk the Earth. He absolutely loved the way your eyes lit up as you gushed about him and the way your cheeks turn a soft shade of red when you realized you talked too long. He would save the video in his phone and watch it at least 5 times a day.

Taki:

Taki would talk about you a lot especially with Niki (Rip Niki) when this happened. Oh boy Niki was ready to rip his own ears off. Taki would not stop bragging about you. He loved that you were so proud of him and that you loved him so much.

Maki:

Maki would feel a huge confidence boost. He wants you to be proud of him and wants to impress you. He is still super young so I think he would be a little awkward about and might even tease you or pretend like it doesn’t affect him when deep down he is so so in love with you

[whumpy-wyrms]

hi!! idk if you're still upset or not, but I thought I'd send in some word vomit about your little fellas!!

I'm really excited to see harley being introduced into brc!! I know it may be a while since brc is only on chapter 2 (but please go at your own pace in writing!!) but he looks super cool and interesting given what stuff you've told us about him already!

also gonna hop on the anton train here cause I absolutely adore this guy. like he gave dew free top surgery????? and wings???? and a little duckie?????? I'd also be his test subject if I could

and SILAS. AUGH. I'm working on that fanart I PROMISE it's just the posing app I use has restricted a body (? preset ig) I use commonly for their pro version and I'm mourning the losses. but he's so cool!! maybe it's my love for vampires in general (queue twilight and dracula) but he's so just. RREAUGH. I want to squish and bite!!

also lyle and aspen!!!!!!!!!!!!! I adore their styles and I can't wait to learn some more about lyle if the opportunity arises! i love that little flower detail you put on aspen's head with their full body drawings!! they both look really nice I'd be friends with them :33

anyhow I hope you feel better!!!! sending all the hugs your way (if you don't like hugs, how about some air hugs instead!!)

AAAHHH THANKS SO MUCH VELL!!!!

harley’s been rotating around in my head too and i’m soo excited to introduce him but yeah it might. be a very very long time (but i’ll still post art and stuff about him in the mean time! i don’t care much about spoiling brc stuff as i do with tllr)

I LOVE ANTON TOO!!!!! BEST GUY EVER FR!!!!

also THANK U FOR MAKING SILAS FANART i’m so excited to see it when it’s finished!!! take ur time of course no pressure!! but yeah i love silas too hes very silly and fucked up and evil and he might’ve made me realize i’m probably gay so yeah um. fun fact (i think i’m still somewhere on the aromantic spectrum though)

lyle and aspen are so cool and fun to draw too and it’s super fun coming up with their different outfits :3 i’m glad you like them and we’re definitely gonna learn more about them in the series! i’m so excited

anyway thanks so much for sending this i’m glad u like my silly guys :D

[heeracha]

▸▸ now playing: everyday, ben&ben.

▸▸ dedicated to: lee heeseung.

genre/warning(s): friends to lovers, toxicity if you squint, wine is included in some parts, a drop of angst, but mostly fluff !! unproof read. let me know if i miss something <33

note: it's in filo, i just translated the title lmao. anyway, @jjunis this is #17 for u !! ily dani i hope u like this <33 send in a number if u want, but check on the main post first to see if the number is taken !! thank u mwa

wc: 1.7k im crying

heeracha's spotify wrapped 2022 — [ open ]

in high school, you had a crush on lee heeseung.

no one knew, not even your best friend.

heeseung was one of those hopeless romantics, you noticed. you saw him go around, look at one of your friends with his doe eyes. he was adorable, you could stare at him all day long. even though his eyes were on somebody else.

it was just a happy crush anyway.

you were about to enter your homeroom when you felt a hand on your shoulder stop you, “hey.” you hear, causing you to look up. heeseung smiles at you and you smile back, asking him if needed something. “uh, can you hand this to (name).” he asks, handing you a letter and a chocolate bar.

their favorite chocolate bar.

“sure.” you say with a smile, taking it.

“thank you.” heeseung says with a grateful smile, walking away. he was too nervous. so, you went to your friend, handing it to them. from that, they started to date. heeseung would always tag along, he was the perfect boyfriend. even if their relationship slowly started to grow… not so ideal anymore.

your friend became controlling and you saw miserable heeseung was, but he never broke it off. he was in too deep. they even once fought when everyone was there and heeseung surrendered right away.

the graduating year was almost over, so you spent most of your days in the library, just reading since you were done with your requirements anyway. you see heeseung pass by and you frown.

your heart ached for him.

you wait for him to pass by again and when he did, you speak up. “did you make up?” 

heeseung stops, looking at you. he sees your concerned eyes and he forces a smile, nodding. “did you apologize?” you ask and he nods. “why did you?”

“they wanted to spend time with me, i—”

“they spend time with us, their friends. but with you, you’re not allowed to spend time with your friends?” you softly say. “you shouldn’t have apologized.” you said, going back to your book. “you are their boyfriend, but doesn’t give them the right to control your life.” you say and heeseung looks down. “imagine your parents let you do what you want, but you can’t because of your partner. kinda…” you trail off shrugging.

“what am i supposed to do, y/n? i just want to fix our relationship.” heeseung says.

“it’s unfixable.” you deadpan. “they’re my friend, but they’re wrong.”

you felt like you were betraying your friend because you had a crush on heeseung, but even heeseung’s friends felt that way. your friend is wrong.

you went back to reading as heeseung leaves the library. the next time you saw him was during graduation, he was with his friends. he looked happier. his eyes caught yours in the crowd and he waves at you, giving you a big smile. you wave back.

you felt guilty, you really did. but when your friend got into another relationship within less than a month after breaking up with heeseung, not so much anymore.

two years passed by when you next saw him. he transferred to your university when he saw there were more open opportunities there. it was funny how when he last talked to you, it was in the library of your high school. now, he sees you in the university’s library… sleeping. heeseung giggles softly, deciding to take the seat across from you as he starts working on his own work. after an hour, you wake up, sighing as you sit up straight, eyes meeting heeseung’s.

“good morning.” he softly teases and you only close your eyes, hiding your face in your palms.

“don’t you go to the university in… another town?” you mumble and heeseung giggles at how you were basically still asleep.

“i transferred. i’ve been meaning to text you, actually, but i realized i don’t have your number.” he says and you chuckle, grabbing your phone as you give it to him for him to put his number in. “i take you’re doing great, sleeping in the library.”

“i was stressed for weeks for my presentation, i didn’t get to sleep. so when it was done, i came here to do some work, but i dozed off.” you mumble, chuckling and heeseung smiles.

you two became inseparable and slowly, your happy crush on him rekindled. heeseung got into relationships, but always ended right away. every semester, it was a different partner. when heeseung felt conflicted about his relationship, he would run to you for advice. ever since you talked some sense to him in high school, he trusted you.

but you didn’t trust yourself. you didn’t know if you were being biased since you had a happy crush on him… which is slowly turning more than that. you were convincing yourself it was just a stupid happy crush, but you know it wasn’t. 

it’s not a happy crush anymore when it’s starting to hurt.

a month before graduation, you were surprised that heeseung wasn’t in a relationship. but at the same time, not really. you know how focused he is in his internship that he hopes to be his full time job when he graduates. 

at past seven in the evening, he comes knocking in your dorm with a big smile. “i have a job when we graduate.” he says and you smile widely as giggles come out of your mouth, hands covering your mouth. 

“congratulations!” you exclaim, pulling him in a hug. you knew how much he wanted to work with big hit and now that he is, you were more than proud. 

it was a big day for heeseung. he is now a full-time worker in big hit, he finished the song he is to pass as a final requirement. he was happy. although, the hopeless romantic in him never died. when he was younger, he hoped that when he reached everything he would have the love of his life celebrate with him, graduate with him. he was in no rush, but he wanted to finally have the person he would make songs about all the time.

as he sits on your small dining table with wine as you two talk, he catches a spark in your eyes as you talk about how much you know he wants the job. you were so proud of him. you rambled about how happy he is going to be and how happy you were for him. heeseung smiles, looking at you.

it wasn’t a goofy smile. it wasn’t his grin when he finds something funny. it was a smile reserved for something else.

that night, heeseung realized how stupid he was.

you were there right in front of him for so long, but he only saw you after years of trying to find his muse.

“what?” you ask, noticing how silent he was.

he only smiles. “nothing.”

he realized he was in love with you and he saw that you felt the same.

graduation comes, the ceremony ends in a bittersweet manner. you were supposed to get ready for the graduation dinner in the university, but heeseung was pulling you somewhere. your hand in his as you two walk, reaching a meadow. not to mention, you two were still in your togas. heeseung was carrying a backpack though.

when you two reach a tree, heeseung softly lets go of your hand with a lingering touch as he takes his bag off his back, opening it and taking out a blanket. you help him lay it out on the ground. heeseung proceeds to take out a bunch of food and a bottle of wine and two glasses. you giggle.

“ooh, having a picnic with heeseung.” you giddily say.

“no, love.” he catches you off-guard with the nickname. you look at him, confused. “we’re having our first date.”

you look at him and he only smiles. “did you ask me on a date?” you ask, dumbfounded. you probably forgot since your schedule was hectic lately. 

heeseung laughs, shaking his head. “i thought it was cute,” he says. “i had some realizations and one of them being i should have been with you all along. you always treated me right and i always gravitated towards you. you were right in front of me all along and i…” he shrugs. “so, if it’s not too late yet, will you accept?”

you smile, taking one glass from heeseung’s hand and he opens the bottle as he pours the glasses in half. “happy first date.” you say with a smile, raising your glass and heeseung softly clinks his glass against yours.

years passed by, heeseung never thought he would be this happy. he was having a bad day at work, but you were there for him. he was curled up against you, head on your chest as he started to feel light. “hee, it was a mistake. you’re inevitable to make a mistake, you’re human.” you say, playing with his hair as he closes his eyes.

“i will never get how you manage to choose me everyday even though i’m not perfect.” heeseung mutters and you kiss his head.

“because you’re real.” you answer.

“i know, i’m real. i’m not pinocchio.” heeseung mumbles against your chest as he turns his head and you laugh.

“come on,” you say. “you know what i mean. when a person is perfect, they’re not real, hee. you have your flaws, and i love you in spite of them. it makes you real, transparent. no secrets from me.”

“i love you, y/n. i really do.” heeseung says, lifting his head as he towers above you, pressing his lips against yours. the rest of the night pass by, positions have changed as you were now the one laying on heeseung’s chest, his arm under your neck as his hand was holding yours. it was already five thirty in the morning, but heeseung couldn’t sleep.

there are a lot of times when he wouldn’t sleep and just soak up the feeling that you were the one he gets to sleep and wake up with. heeseung softly intertwines his fingers with yours, raising it so he can see your hands hold together. the soft rays of the sun slowly entered the room and heeseung could see himself putting a ring on your finger soon. he puts your intertwined hands down, pressing a kiss on your head as he closed his eyes, feeling content with everything.

you are his everyday and he is yours.

— likes, comments/feedbacks, and rbs are highly appreciated !!

[discoidal]

hi this is one of your mutuals being shy. how did you get into publishing your works with lit magazines?? i dont even know where to begin or how to be organized and Professional

HIIII omg i am not organized or professional at all and dw u can always talk to me<33 esp mutuals omg we're like already friends! just in case u want to stay anon tho, ill get this as detailed as possible under the cut; sorry if it gets long or wordy

anyways so i got into publishing after following jasmine from candied/spit for a long time, and i've found it's mostly a game of knowing your work and finding the right publisher market for it.

there are sites that like collect magazines and presses for ease of submission; i got started with submission grinder, but the most effective and convenient right now is chillsubs.com ! chillsubs has a browse feature with a bunch of filters; u can use those filters to find magazines that are right for u, for example like looking for specifically poetry mags or looking for specific demographics

once you've found smth u want to submit ur work to, u go to their site and usually they have a submit page with instructions on what to submit and how to. there might be some terms that you're unfamiliar with at first; u can always google them or ask me for clarification. if you follow those conditions, you'll get a better chance at getting accepted by that mag obviously. a lot of mags will straight up not read your work if you don't follow the submission rules or whatever.

mostly, in my experience, the mags have you submit by submittable (a site that you sign up to), emails, or gforms. they may ask you for a cover letter, which doesn't need to be detailed or formal; i usually just do a hi im zoe heres my shit thanks for your time peace out. think like office emails or emails to yr teacher; some litmags want it more formal while others are v v lax

they may also ask you for a 3rd person bio; thats the stuff like "zoe adrien is a megahot swagapino" or whatever. usually people take that opportunity to list previous notable publications ot credentials, but esp when you're starting out that doesnt need to be the case! you can put socmed or your website if ever, describe yourself, or you can even just joke. some litmags want a more formal tone; others will literally accept the "zoe adrien is a megahot swagapino" one, so while you can do just a rote one, i usually like to customize it per submission.

sometimes litmags have a "reading fee" which is where YOU pay THEM to read YOUR work; this does not guarantee an acceptance, and i try to avoid paying when possible. some other litmags have an "expedition fee" where you can submit things for free and it might take months, but if you pay the fee your work gets read faster or gets read straight by the editor; again, does not guarantee acceptance, but can be a good way to support a struggling lit mag that you're passionate about or get a quicker acceptance or rejection.

a big term that i remember being confused by is simultaneous submissions. that's the way i usually work, and it's when you have work that you submit to a bunch of markets simultaneously. this makes it faster for you, the writer, since you don't have to wait for markets to get back to you before submitting; otherwise, you'll have to do that, and esp with rlly prestigious litmags (literature magazines) the wait time can be months to years. sometimes though the litmags dont accept simsubs; that means if you submit to them, u submit to only them and wait for their reply before submitting again. theyre dicks if they do this imo but u gotta do what u gotta do

anyways, back on track. once a market gets back to you with an acceptance, you can accept their acceptance (thereby entering into an agreement or contract with them, especially if there's payment involved— note that payment isnt always involved). they might want to do some editing, but usually you'll get the chance to approve or reject their edits before it goes live. typos are common and you can absolutely contact them abt GETTING THAT SHIT FIXED!! (im still listed as zoe adrian in one mag anyway)

if you simsubbed like detailed above, especially if they have an exclusivity clause in the agreement, you'll then have to withdraw your work from the submissions queue of all the other markets. this is to say that that specific work isn't available anymore, as you have found a market for it. if thru email or gform u can just do a quick email like "thx this has been accepted elsewhere thx for ur time" and theyre usually like congrats and thts it

acceptance to publication usually takes months. usually, in my experience, the contract with the litmag will tell you how many months you have to withhold the specific work you've published with them from being published again. for example, i published with foglifter press and agreed for them to have six months exclusivity. if another market agrees to publish it, you have to make sure it's after the six months or the exclusivity period you agreed to, just to make sure no contracts are broken.

you're allowed to publish work you've published before again, usually if they are the first publication mags will ask that you credit them as where that work first appeared . while you are allowed to republish, a lot of mags don't accept "previous publications" so you have to check for that.

a lot of lit mags are online-only nowadays, but i've got a fair few print publications; print pubs will usually send you an author's copy, though in some cases you might have to buy it yourself.

now that i think (?) i've detailed the process, ill tell u smth: u dont need to be professional if u dont want to be! theres prestigious litmags, sure, and they should be paying better, but if you're content with small mags a lot of them are no fucks given. if you go off anon i could help you find some chill mags to start with; im very fortunate to have published with some cool people.

some small mags are my absolute favorites. being smaller, they sometimes only pay nominal author fees to you, or often they cant pay at all, but they can take more risks bc of that. their audiences, while smaller, might be more vocal and supportive. gotta shoutout my absolute fav indie mag, bodyfluids lit; they pay YOU 1 euro per submission and theyre my fav to work with, communication is so quick and easy, and i find almost all the work they publish to be right up my alley

if you can afford to be picky, i would say try to submit your work to magazines you yourself want to or love to read. ive gotten pieces published for relatively a lot of money but felt no joy in it beyond that money; meanwhile, getting published in wrong publishing and bodyfluids brought me so much joy and community. if writing was my main source of income or even a source i was reliant on, i'd have to be working harder for less joy, i feel

a thing i have to say when encouraging people to submit: you're going to get rejected. like a lotttt. it's not about you or the quality of your work, even, it's just that markets have specific tastes or themes and they have limited slots and maybe you mentioned bacon and the editor's hungry right now so they hate you for it and so they throw you in the reject pile. it happens.

publishing for me has been a game of so much luck and wild persistence and, im sorry to say it, thick skin. it hurt a lot when i first started, so much so that i stopped submitting for like 6 months after i got my first few rejections. you gotta keep trucking friens!!!

also im talking like i know sooo much i have like. 11 publications counting one that isnt even available anymore bc the litmag went down lmao i am a little baby! and i am unfortunately so lazy with submitting sometimes like i havent sat down and submitted to a bunch of places in like. 6 months. so yeah i dont know that much el oh el

omfg this is so long but i hope this wasnt overwhelming; theres so much more i want to say abt like readings and submission calls and themes and categories and shit. dont be overwhelmed tho, its usually a pretty streamlined process. again, it's a long game, but it's worth it to me :)) ask me anything any time! and i am SOOOO excited for you!!

[duskier]

frothing at the mouth over mommy kink laswell thank you for feeding the queers (me) because as much as I love men the women of cod need love too and as a happy girlnt love girls im frothing at the miuth and chewing on your writing like a dog at any given opportunity

I feel the same about mommy kink as gator does, it feels like it's less normalized and somehow more taboo. I'm somewhat able to post cannibal kink fics but then when I posted that mommy kink post I legit was so close to deleting it I was overthinking like hell!! And it SUCKS bc that's one of my biggest kinks!

I wanna write more for the wlw out there <33 more toxic Valeria, mommy Laswell, fluffy angsty smut for Farah. Making all the 141 girls and making them kiss sloppy for my own indulgent wants.

I also want to write more content that's queer in general!! If any ppl out there want to give me more queer reader requests please do so. Writing about the ftm reader the other day was very cathartic as I got to really funnel in my experiences as a transmasculine person who's been on T.

Anyways sorry for taking your very sweet and delightful ask and making it into a rant I love u very much and I hope you're having a wonderful day / night. Pls come chew on my writing anytime <33

[boabel]

bel please tell us about your capitol oc (i need the inspiration)

AAA AN OC ASK??? THANK U SM LILY ML <33

okok before anyone reads, TW for suicide attempt and just death in general, this is thg.

so this oc is sadly not a tbosas mentor bc he wasn't born at that time but i can say he is distantly related to dennis fling.

to start off, his name is vestis sylver and at the time of the 47th games (when he first becomes an escort) he is 22 years old.

he grew up in a typical privileged capitol household, his family had that ingrained prejudice to the districts, they werent as outspoken as other families though. he grew up not watching the games out of disinterest and kind of turned a blind eye to whatever happened in the districts because it didnt affect him.

this changes completely when his best friend (who he totally didn't have a crush on) from the capitol who was banished to district nine because of speaking out against the capitol, settled down and had kids and then one of the kids got reaped and died in the games.

that inspires him to become an escort for d9 specifically but oh boy did he make a mistake. first off, the mentor that he works with died the year before due to unforseen circumstances (she was killed by the capitol for silent rebellion, rip anona ryan, you'll be missed). he (at first) manages to help get back-to-back winners with ceres miller and angus flaxon (i changed the dates they won to fit this hc.... if u saw the og post with different dates..... ignore that 😭) but even with this newfound motive and a goal to help d9 win the games (not abolish the games overall) it completely backfires. his glamorised capitol background and privilege makes him blind to how difficult it actually is in the districts, even if he thinks he wants to help.

most of the tributes are unresponsive to him and he starts to realise "helping" the districts is much harder than he thinks. over and over again he tries to get through to the tributes (and the mentors... mainly ceres bc she is just done w him atp) but it never works, and they die over and over and over again. his work for the games strains him and all of his relationships get more and more difficult. he sees himself changing from someone who only cared about the districts because of a capitol friend into someone who really wants change, who sees himself in these kids and starts to realise that all district kids are the same as capitol kids, they just don't have the right opportunities.

he gets older and older and sees more and more that he needs to fight for these people. he realises that the games don't need to be "won", they need to be abolished. at one point (around the 65th games) the male tribute for district nine commits suicide before the games which causes a huge scandal, and it makes vestis realise that being an escort isn't going to help the kids, and starts to be subtly rebellious by spending more and more time in d9 when he should be in the capitol.

during the 68th games, where my oc thea wins, plutarch heavensbee is thea's sponsor and vestis and him get to talking. he ends up being in with the rebel plan, but makes the difficult decision not to tell the mentors of d9, who are already extremely depressed and he doesn't want to burden them with the information. (he later comes to realise this was the WRONG decision.... i wonder why.)

anyway that's as far as ive gotten into his story, im probably gonna continue his influence to the third quarter quell. hope u enjoyed this incoherent rant and hope it gives u some inspo 😭.

[lightningmickqueen]

Wait who is Ann Neal?

tw for grooming!!

ok anon i fully typed this up in the notes app. please keep in mind this is an opinion based off years of watching f1 and we don't know either of them personally but also it's fucking weird

Ann Neal is Mark Webber’s wife/manager/questionable person. Almost everything I’m going to talk about next is from Mark’s book Aussie Grit which everyone should read

She is 17 years older than Mark (as per the public info on their company’s registration), which maybe wouldn’t be a problem if they started dating at their current ages but they first met and got together when Mark was 17. She was also his manager during the early part of his career. more below the cut now!!

In his book Mark talks about how their relationship went from professional to personal during the FIRST trip to Europe. Please keep in mind this was his FIRST attempt to grow his career, his first time away from home, and he knew nobody but her, his manager, who is like 17 years older than him and should know better. 

Like this woman was in a position of power, had his career in his hands, and was on a separate continent where literally the only person he knows is her. 

Mark said in his book that even his mum wasn’t happy about it, and also that Ann’s kid views Mark as a big brother…like ok

In Aussie Grit Mark literally wrote Ann’s first impression of him. Please keep in mind he was SEVENTEEN (17) and she was 34. 

“I liked how bold and cheeky he was, and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 - he was confident beyond his years.”

LIKE?? The fact she went from thinking and saying this about a 17 year old to becoming his manager and then very quickly starting to hook up with him to having a relationship is CRAZY. She also apparently remembers what he was wearing that day - like girl why were you looking so hard?!?!

They moved to England then and didn’t know anyone else and became codependent and Mark has said she was the only one, other than himself, who believed that his F1 dream could happen. It’s very cute in that it obviously ended up happening, but please keep in mind that this is still his manager and a woman almost two decades older than him.

Mark said his parents’ weren’t happy with the relationship, and at one point he went back to Australia for a break (from racing and a temporary break up with Ann because it got too serious too fast) and got a new management company and started dating someone else. Ann wasn’t happy, and Mark said she “wasn’t prepared to hang around and watch young love undermine all we’d worked so hard for”

Like. This is now not just his former manager, but also his EX GIRLFRIEND. He’s got a new girlfriend now and a new management and Mark then decided his personal life was now affecting his driving, so he broke up with the two newbies and went back to Ann because Ann wasn’t happy.

So six months after the break up and Mark groveling, saying “I want to come home,” Mark left Australia and moved back in with Ann and her son in England. Like at this point he was what? 20? And he’s basically settled down for life with a much older woman and her kid (sound familiar). 

Obviously I do not know Ann or Mark but the way this reads to me and probably anyone who’s read the book is that she was looking out for herself and herself only. She had an opportunity and she took it while manipulating an 18/19 year old man who did not know any better and whose career she held in her hands!!! LIKE. 

Anyway here are some pics of her looking old as fuck . Credit to motorsport images for keeping pics up for 50 million years so we can always find the good shit

ann with mark in october 1996. mark was 20, she’s 37

ann with mark's dad in 2004

ann with mark and the fam in 2006 - mark's 30th birthday. ann is 47

july 2009 - mark was 33, ann was 50

nov 2010 - mark was 34

in 2018 - mark was 36/37 (i forgot what month this was taken)

thank u to @brakingpoint and @multi-twentyone for their assistance in this research project

[celestie0]

No one asked but here is my very scientific breakdown of all your gojos:

Kickoff! - i want him. I desire him. Carnally. He is the reason i can not date irl because i am waiting for the universe to give me my own kickoff! gojo 😭😭 i love how loving and dumb he is and whenever i read kickoff! my heart is literally fluttering 💕🦋 i- i am whipped 😔

Ihm! - SLOOOWWWWWBURRRNNNN yes! 🔥🔥 All the angst!! (Angst is my fave, i want my blorbos to SUFFER) also i keep thinking about how you said ihm! reader is a pillow princess and gojo is v manogamous and- eek the WORSHIP! i want i want yes pls😖😖

Around the clock! - plsplspls chapter 2!! BUT ALSO NO RUSH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE BLESSED MINE EYES!! boxer! gojo is just...SO DELICIOUS Ugh!!!😫 Panties? wet💦💦 (sorry that was tmi) he's just literally all my weaknesses packed into one. In love with him🥰🥰🥰

Let me be free! - HURTS SO GOOD! i may have actually cried lol the YEARNING 😭😭OH MY- i hope gojo and reader regret the missed opportunity foreverrrr hahaha😈

Luxury & lingerie! - excuse me, excuse me hi, i will implode!!! I want this gojo to lick the life outta me- (what who said that?? 🤨) overall just SO entertaining can't wait for more!

Anyways thats my review that no one bloody asked for but i gave anyways.... i hope this message isn't too long 😭😭😭 i don't wanna add to your stress but i just love your writing sosososo much!! Literallt stalk your page and have notifs on everything 💕💕💕💕

BAHHAHA thanks sm for enjoying dumb kickoff gojo honestlyyy…he’s so cute in my head

yess ihm is slowburn galore BUT when we get to the smut there will probs be smut like every chapter for a while so i hope that makes up for it :0

honestly im so happy ppl like boxer gojo too!! i was worried writing yet another broke gojo fic but xd it’s like my most liked fic now by a landslide n i love that ahhh

thankss darling you’re so cute omg thank u for this <33 i just realized i have sm gojos in my head rn BAHHAAH much love!!