#anyway stfu you bitch this is not the time

[diari0deglierrori]

Omg so you’re telling me you could be going through like the biggest crisis of your life, world falling apart and all and yet your stupid body would be like you know what I’m feeling very h-

[finncakes]

scribbly-doos of some of my fave c3 ships

[voidcat]

once again at my wits end bc of men

[confessiononadancefloor]

rant <3

[cosmicpuding]

my rage for people who expect 1st seasons to be masterpieces instead of giving the show time to build up and have a good long run

[thedragonboi]

Not to be cringe on main and bring up a dead fandom but Eli Shane should be allowed to smoke a bunt

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

obsessed w jensen and bryce racing on literal public roads (not like fr but also whoever loses usually has to do some unwanted chore) bc bryce KNOWS jensen is willing to push the limit way more than he is. but also sometimes jensen is either 1 stupid or 2 lets him win so,, it works

[wormgremlin]

I've gotten three unnecessary, unwanted, and ultimately useless hateful comments on my fic in the first 24 hours since posting it. So a quick refresher for people out there:

First, foremost, and most concerning: If someone is in critical condition, unless you have medical training and supplies, HOSPITAL HOSPITAL HOSPITAL. That includes both urgent and emergent triage statuses (in this case, severe blood loss and abdominal wounds going into the abdominal cavity -- intestinal rupture is no joke! Nor is uroabdomen!).

Second of all, I'm sorry if you and your friends have never talked about or looked at each others boobs/chest. Genuinely. On the other hand, me and my friends make fun of each other constantly in good fun and are comfortable enough around each other to talk about our bodies. Your sexually repressed puritanical views have no place in my comments and no place in an irl queer space. Between the two of us, I am not the "weirdo."

Third of all (and whoo boy is this a long one), just because I represent a ship a certain way does not mean I condone their actions in a real life setting. Ffs, I like Hannigram. That means I definitely recommend committing malpractice, non-con drugging, and tubing your crush like a horse. Not To mention cannibalism and framing people for your own serial murders. I'm writing things based on my own experiences and perspective as a queer poc who grew up and got out of a conservative home and state. I'm writing as someone who lives paycheck to paycheck. I write as someone who still fights an internal monologue of shame and repression, of not being good enough, of bitterness and self-loathing making for a critical lens of others. I write as someone who affectionately calls my friends buffoons. As someone who has only ever used terms like "babe" as a derogatory. And I know that isn't for everyone. And I know my experiences aren't universal. But they do shape how I write. And I'm not asking you to like it. I am, however, asking you to consider how your actions affect others and click that back arrow before you say something unnecessary and rude.

Gonna be honest: the slew of asshole comments I've gotten have been more annoying in a "ooh comment oh that's disappointing, look an asshole" way than truly upsetting to me. But I thrive on spite. Not everyone does. For some people, the shit being said would be incredibly hurtful; for me, I thought worse while writing it.

And this bit didn't make the list, but deserves honorable mention: Just because you don't like the way I write something doesn't mean I hate the ship. Yeah. I spent hours of my life writing this and editing it and posting it because I hate it. Sorry, but I'm a full time grad student with a life, a job, and shit to do. I don't have time for ship phishing. I've written more than one fic for this ship, each portraying them a different way. Clearly because I hate the ship?

All of this of course to say:

If you don't like it, write your own, hon.

[irrelevaantidiot]

Once again it is time to violently obsess with a song cause eli how the fuck are you not sick of it yet

[snekdood]

if me not being fake nice all the time is the reason ppl generally avoid me then whatever. id rather not walk around with a liar as a face.

[flamingtouya]

𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞) —

pairing: dabi + f!reader

word count: 4381

cw: getting to know each other (against your better intuition), flirting, bad flirting,some explicit language but nothing too bad, no quirk AU, dabi commits a crime or two

summary: In which Dabi meant to text Toga instead of a random stranger. But these things happen, and you were never one to shy away from troublesome men. This whole thing is told entirely through text messages.

a/n: check out my AO3 for different formatting! :)

Mar 02  10:07 PM

Unknown: Grab bleach while you’re out Unknown: And paper towels

You: who is this??

Unknown: So funny

You: u got the wrong number my guy 

Unknown: Shit Unknown: You don’t happen to have some bleach at your disposal rn? 

You: try the convenience store You: where’s the body at, anyways

Unknown: Ohara street by the fitness park, you should come check it out

You: sounds enticing You: i’ve always wanted to be on a true crime podcast

You: sort of expected myself to be the alive one though

Unknown: I was taught that women tend to be smart about stranger danger and stuff Unknown: You're out to prove me wrong

You: how’d you know i’m a woman? 🤨

Unknown: U sound cute Unknown: And men don’t listen to true crime

You: that’s so sexist You: and correct You: you'd do numbers on reddit

Mar 03 00:16 AM

You: hey don’t leave now

Mar 03 00:34 AM

Unknown: Had a body to take care of

You: you didn’t wait for me? :(

Unknown: … Unknown: Are u fr

You: ofc not You: i don’t hang out with edgelords

Unknown: Whatever u r probably boring anyways

You: entertaining enough for u to keep texting me

Unknown: We all have our moments of weakness 

Mar 03 01:09 AM

Unknown: So wyd

You: you don’t have anybody else to bother?

Unknown: I do Unknown: I want to bother you tho

You: damn, what’d i do to deserve this

Unknown: Is that a complaint

You: i have uni tomorrow and ur buzzing keeps waking me up

Unknown: Mute your phone, stupid 

You: can’t mute unknown numbers

Unknown: Save this one then Unknown: Or block me idc

You: what name should i put it under

Unknown: Dabi 

You: lmao i knew you were an edgelord

Dabi: Stfu

You: good night to you too

Mar 03  07:58 AM

You: fuck

Mar 03 3:56 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me that bad 

Mar 03 4:32 PM

You: i overslept and am blaming you entirely

Mar 03 5:19 PM 

Dabi: Sucks to be a useful member to society

You: why what do you do

Dabi: I'm actually a bit of a part-time freelancer, you regular uni folk just wouldn't get it

You: freelancing around ohara at 1 in the morning sounds like the truly fulfilling purpose we all long for You: did you just get up

Dabi: Hey now  Dabi: Yes  Dabi: I’m still in bed technically, looking at the ceiling fan is so interesting when I don't want to move a muscle

You: you are everything I am jealous of

Dabi: I promise you it’s not that good 

You: first time a guy’s been honest right away. i applaud u

Dabi: Omg no way 

Mar 03 5:40 PM

You: no way what

Dabi: No way you said something witty 

Dabi: Maybe you’re fun after all

You: i’ll have u know that deep down, i’m just a fragile being trying to make it thru this bitch of a world, running on fumes and caffeine all while chasing a childhood dream that i'll never be able to reach anyways because of my parents' expectations of me crushing my soul

Dabi: Damn, being vulnerable already 

You: your turn

Dabi: I’m not sad. My life is great and my parents never expected anything of me

Dabi: That was a lie 

You: so you’re a liar

Dabi: I suppose I might be

You: that counts as being vulnerable. i’m so proud of us. &lt;3

Mar 03 9:12 PM

You: you probably have daddy issues

Mar 03 11:34 PM 

Dabi: Mind your business 

You: so i’m right

Dabi: Nosy sounds more like it

You: that’s a yes then

Dabi: When I tell you he SUCKS so bad 

You: LMAO You: i’m guessing you don’t particularly like your family then

Dabi: It's not the type of stuff I'd tell anybody, especially not to some nosy individual whose number is one or two digits off

You: alright i’ll stop digging You: wait how old are you You: am i talking to some 50 y/o dude You: please no

Mar 04 00:02 AM

Dabi: Chill I’m 48

Mar 04 00:06 AM 

You: say sike right now You: if u rly are then i’m half your age

Dabi: You thought Dabi: Are you actually 24 tho

You: give or take a few days lol

Dabi: When’s your birthday 

You: do you want my social and tax numbers while we’re at it

Dabi: Stfu I wanna see if I’m older 

You: 🤨 You: it’s at the end of this month

Dabi: Baby 

You: are u flirting with me or insulting me

Dabi: Can’t I be doing both 

Mar 04 06:30 AM

You: love me a guy who can multitask You: did you ever get your bleach and paper towels

Mar 04 11:11 AM

You: it’s 11:11 make a wish

Mar 04 2:02 PM

You: my wish is that you’d commit to a humane sleeping schedule

Mar 04 2:59 PM 

Dabi: Anybody hear sum 

You: i heard you’re a lazy bitch You: who doesn’t even do his own grocery shopping

Dabi: Maybe I do. Maybe I got the bleach all on my own like a big boy

You: X

Dabi: What's that mean

You: X for doubt You: it’s a meme

Dabi: Here I thought we were about to get spicy 😔

You: ew

Dabi: I was joking  Dabi: …unless 

You: has anybody ever told you that your flirting is immaculate

Mar 04 7:10 PM

Dabi: What do you study 

You: are you trying to find out my location

Dabi: Let it be known I’m terrible at geography and if I wanted to stalk you I'd already be on it

You: that’s a consolation You: forensic science You: i actually can’t wait for the semester to be over bc my professor is one of the most annoying individuals i have ever had the displeasure of meeting

Dabi: So you do have bleach 

You: never said i didn’t

Dabi: What do I have to do to make the list of annoying individuals. What's my current score

You: we haven’t met You: and i’m not sure if i’d survive u

Dabi: You have a point, I'm super nice tho

You: bet You: are you handsome You: asking for a friend You: the handsome ones are usually more annoying

Dabi: I'll say I’m frighteningly unique-looking 

You: ...well played

Mar 04 10:09 PM 

Dabi: My boss is making me do errand work in the morning like I'm some kind of functioning human being with principles Dabi: The next piercing I’m getting is a lobotomy 

You: thought you were “freelancing”

Dabi: Freelancing only gets you so far. You'll understand when you're my age

You: can't imagine what the back pain must be like You: do you have a tongue piercing 👀

Dabi: Perhaps I do

You: u r so mysterious You: tell me an opinion 

Dabi: Mint ice cream makes my teeth feel weird 

You: that’s not an opinion 

Dabi: Alright, more foods should have mint in them. And coriander. I want to make things inedible for 80% of the human population

You: nvm keep your opinions to yourself 

Mar 05 02:26 AM

Dabi: I've gotta burn this number. Txt u in a few 

Mar 05 05:16 AM

You: what are you, some kind of druglord This message could not be delivered.

You: I knew it This message could not be delivered.

Mar 0512:03 PM

You: ayo are you still there This message could not be delivered.

You: this is only funny if you come clean right now This message could not be delivered.

Mar 05 4:16 PM

You: "text you in a few" minutes? hours? days? This message could not be delivered.

You: just know that if it takes to long i'll forget about u This message could not be delivered.

You: won't even miss u This message could not be delivered.

Mar 06 09:00 AM

You: hello is this thing on This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 3:15 PM

You: my social security number is 6007 0023 6799 0324 This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 8:46 PM

You: eggs, vinegar, panko, sprite, sliced ham, parmesan, deodorant sencha if they have the good one ground pepper, lemon juice This message could not be delivered.

Mar 08 04:44 AM

Unknown: Am I still the man of ur dreams

You: I'm killing you You: violently

Unknown: I was hoping softly Unknown: With your song

You: are these messages being monitored You: am i a suspect

Unknown: If they were, could I write that I'm a ruthless baby killer anti-government fuck the police pro abortion the prime minister is an idiot bomb. bomb at the airport, terrorism, detonate Unknown: I guess now they are

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: just when i thought i'd have to find another witty asshole with a tongue piercing

Dabi: Aw you missed me Dabi: Does my tongue piercing make me hot be honest

You: what are my chances of getting an explanation for the past few days You: are u a murderer fr, that would be so cool You: i totally didn't use our abandoned chat as a grocery list btw

Dabi: The only thing I slay is pussy 😎

You: somehow i have doubts about that statement You: animal abuse is no joke

Dabi: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100, if you guess it correctly I'll tell u everything

You: 69

Mar 08 08:21 AM

Dabi: It was 72 Dabi: Because you were so close I'll give u one free question. But I want another one in return

You: you're a dirty little gremlin who plays dirty little games You:: do i get to ask a follow-up question

Dabi: No

You: in that case You: which of the following activities did you partake in? 1.) vandalism 2.) drug dealing 3.) drug trafficking 4.) violent crimes 5.) violent crimes that resulted in the death of one or more individuals 6.) assisting someone in a violent crime 7.) assisting someone in a non-violent crime 8.) theft 9.) robbery 10.) hate crimes against a minority 11.) politically motivated acts of defiance 12.) consumption of illegal substances 13.) running and/or hiding from law enforcement 14.) domestic terrorism 15.) human trafficking 16.) money laundering 17.) having a good time

Dabi: What the fuck Dabi: What is this, a multiple choice? Dabi: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 13 Dabi: My turn Dabi: What's your favourite food

You: fr, just like that You: that's your one question out of everything you could ask? am i really that boring

Dabi: I ask what I ask

You: spicy miso ramen with minced pork You: can we go back to the part where you ran from law enforcement

Dabi: Don't we all have demons that we run from Dabi: Mine are just a bit more persistent

Mar 08 10:52 AM

You: i want another question

Dabi: If you come up with one that's not related to the past few days, go ahead

You: fine i'll take it You: have you ever been caught and gotten in legal trouble for one of your… dubious activities

Dabi: Yeah

You: …and?

Dabi: That's another question. Gonna trade?

You: fine

Dabi: When I was 16, two Officers Of The Law 🐷 caught me dumpster diving behind a 7/11 Dabi: The dumpster diving wasn't the crime but because it was on private property they charged me with trespassing

You: damn, that's a lot of truth from u in just two sentences You: i wanna know ur tragic backstory so bad

Dabi: You could try to get me all sentimental for the 6 minutes after really good sex before the post nut clarity sets in

You: uh huh, taking notes You: anyway. you get one question. think hard

Dabi: If you couldn't have minced pork on your ramen, what would your second topping choice be

You: you're impossible

Mar 08 1:27 PM

You: tori karaage or extra ni-tamago i guess

Mar 08 2:23 PM

Dabi: Doesn't the Karaage lose its crispiness if it's in the broth for too long Dabi: I wouldn't know

You: please let me recommend you a good ramen place, you seem like you'd need it

Dabi: You have no idea. Take me out

You: like romantically? or are you asking me to murder you

Dabi: I love surprises

You: i just laughed out loud in the middle of my lecture

Mar 08 7:18 PM

Dabi: Need your forensic expertise for a sec

You: …oh no

Dabi: It's a purely hypothetical scenario

You: alright lay it on me big boy

Dabi: If a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person were to climb over a 4,60 meter high fence that has electrical wiring on it Dabi: What would the most likely way for them to die be?

You: this is not forensic at all You: how strong is the electricity You: is there a way to shut it off You: where would you hold onto the fence You: can it be damaged

Dabi: Not me, a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person

You: where would THE 176 CM TALL AND 67 KG HEAVY PERSON HOLD ONTO THE FENCE

Dabi: The only points that provide decent grip surface are the hooks holding the wires in place

You: so the most likely way to die would be electrocution You: will that be all

Dabi: How would one determine whether the electricity has been properly shut off Dabi: In the theoretical scenario that you couldn't get close enough to hear

You: the 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person should tap the wiring from the bottom with the back of their hand You: that way their fingers curl downwards and not around the wire You: so the person won't DIE from ELECTROCUTION

Mar 09 00:08 AM

Dabi: Excellent Dabi: Gonna do some field research Dabi: Will report back in maybe a day

Mar 09 08:01 AM

You: i'm gonna be so mad if you die before you've had decent karaage This message could not be delivered.

Mar 11 6:10 PM

Unknown: So it turns out that the person did not have to climb the fence after all. Pliers are such useful tools Unknown: Thanks for the electricity tip tho

Mar 11 6:39 PM

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: you're so hot when you're alive 

Mar 11 9:14 PM

Dabi: Do u think I'm a catch 😏

You: judging by the way law enforcement is trying to get their hands on you, i'd say you're pretty slippery

Dabi: The slipperiest Dabi: You couldn't handle me

You: i'd trap you using cheese and a paper box  You: put you in a jar and turn you into spicy miso broth 

Dabi: Would you hold the jar tight at night and tell me everything's going to be okay 

You: of course 

Dabi: I'm liking this scenario 

Mar 12 01:07 AM 

Dabi: Ever thought about what Mint Karaage would taste like

Mar 12 01:23 AM

You: i need u 

Dabi: Tell me more

You: to shut your mouth

Dabi: Are you trying to romance me

Mar 12 07:15 AM

You: i'm actually so upset right now  You: can i vent

Mar 12 07:27 AM

Dabi: Listening Dabi: Am I gonna have to get the tissues out

You: you're not empathetic enough for that 

Dabi: How would you know 

You: call it a woman's intuition  You: i just need someone to bother about my hot girl troubles

Dabi: Let's hear it girl  Dabi: Men ain't shit 💅

You: damn right they aren't You: but unrelated to that You: i ran out of my medication a few days ago and thought if i stretched the remaining 3 pills to last me 6 days i'd be able to make it till the end of the week  You: now my doctor's office is closed and i can't seem to get an appointment anywhere You: and i'm super jittery and on edge and almost had a panic attack just trying to make coffee

Dabi: What type of medication 

You: Ativan You: it's prescription only

Dabi: Nothing is ever "prescription only" 

You: i'm not gonna try some experimential backalley drug You: just feel like dying rn

Dabi: Who said anything about backalley? You actually came to the right guy for this  Dabi: What's the name of the nearest druggery 

You: ...fukuju pharmacy

Dabi: So I've been talking to a Setagaya girl 

You: only moved here for uni, hate to disappoint if ur expecting a wealthy maiden 

Mar 12 10:02 AM

Dabi: Don't you feel like getting a snack from the vending machine  Dabi: Specifically the one next to the pharmacy  Dabi: A bag of skittles sounds nice, doesn't it?

You: ? ? ?

Mar 12 10:34 AM 

You: did you commit a crime for me  You: how did you get your hands on actual fucking Ativan this fast

Dabi: I don't kiss and tell

You: did you follow me home  You: is this how i die

Dabi: You make it so hard to be nice to you Dabi: What do you think I am, a creep

You: if you were here i'd suck you off so good rn

Dabi: Whore Dabi: (Respectfully)

You: lmao ur right You: thank you for real though

Dabi: Stfu

Mar 12 1:33 PM

Dabi: Do u like cats

You: yes

Dabi sent an image.

Dabi: Noodle thieving menace 

You: 🥹 You: that has got to be the fattest street cat i’ve ever seen

Dabi: He’s hella fast 

You: how does it feel to be the one chasing the culprit for once

Dabi: Not nearly as thrilling as being the one committing the crime 

Mar 13 00:00 AM

Unknown: Congratulations! You have been selected as an eligible member for a free trial of Osaka Daily Post. Unknown: If you would like information about your benefits, reply 'BENEFIT' Unknown: If you would like to stop receiving these messages, reply 'STOP' 

You: i know it's you shithead

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: this is the unfunniest you've ever been ngl

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: you're truly one of the most annoying individuals in my life

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: STOP

Unknown: LMAO you thought

Dabi was saved as a contact. 

You: i'm reconsidering if the tongue piercing is really worth it 😤

Mar 13 04:55 AM

Dabi: Any particular reason why you chose forensics 

Mar 13 06:09 AM

You: i've always admired criminals but been to scared to become one You: and if i know about psychotic assholes it might help me to steer clear of them, or so i thought

Dabi: Is it working

You: evidently not

Dabi: Use me in ur thesis  Dabi: I'll be your lab rat

You: nah you're more beneficial to me when you're not stuck behind bars You: what do you have me saved as in your phone

Dabi: I don't save contacts  Dabi: Especially not yours  Dabi: You mean nothing to me 

You: aww do you know my number by heart, that's adorable You: i'm kinda genuinely impressed at how persistent you are at bothering me, it's almost like you like me or smth

Dabi: No fr though lmao if anybody finds my phone you'd be on a list

You: do u delete these chats

Dabi: Always

You: that's so romantic You: admit it you're actually a softie

Dabi: Would that make you more interested in me  Dabi: Then I'm the softest 

You: what do i need to do to make you the hardest

Dabi: ... Dabi: There's absolutely no correct way for me to respond to that  Dabi: You've left me speechless 

You: 🥵🥵

Dabi: What's your worst quality  Dabi: Besides being an irresistible smartass  Dabi: *irritating 

You: was that a freudian slip You: you're so obsessed with me it's adorable

Dabi: Proving my point so diligently 

You: you don't seem like the kind of person who would use words like 'diligently' You: i'm rather talkative at times You: to the point where it gets unbearable to listen to me

Dabi: I never would've guessed

You: what's yours? You: besides the obvious

Dabi: Still putting up with you 

Mar 13 7:45 PM

Dabi: Wyd 

You: i burned my rice a little You: but it's edible

Dabi: Don't you have a rice cooker? Who raised you 

You: my very strict but sweet and committed grandmother who made the best teriyaki salmon in the whole world You: i'd kill another human being to eat her home cooked food one more time

Dabi: So your parents ain't shit either 

You: eh, they're alright You: they're Business People overseas and aren't around a whole lot, means i get my own place though You: so i can have visitors at any desired hour 😏

Dabi: Omg sick Dabi: Me next

You: it was implied

Mar 13 11:11 PM

Dabi: Ok but do u actually wanna meet up sometime  Dabi: No strings attached ofc 

You: i'm down

Dabi: What if I'm a creep after all

You: if anything, it means i won't have to attend my lecture about carbon dots tmrw

Dabi: I can't tomorrow  Dabi: What about the day after Dabi: I'll give u my credit card info if it makes you feel more safe, don't bother trying to buy anything with it tho, you'll be disappointed

You: you may not show it a whole lot, but are you actually a considerate person? You: the day after sounds good

Dabi: Preem

You: oreryu shio ramen, right by harajuku station You: about time you had some good karaage You: my treat You: unless that's too far away for u

Dabi: I would fly across the world for u Dabi: Yes Harajuku works fine

Mar 14 08:49 AM

You: how will i recognise u You: what do u look like

Dabi: As my dad once said. I'm impossible to miss 

You: i laughed

Dabi: Guess it was all worth it then  Dabi: Do tattoos scare you

You: i was gonna ask cause there's no way you got only a tongue piercing and nothing else You: stand there with your tongue out

Dabi: Shouldn't we at least get to know each other before 😳

You: don't get any ideas  You: i don't intend to fuck u You: ...for now

Dabi: That's a relief, I thought I might have to file a restraining order afterwards 

Mar 14 1:42 PM 

Dabi sent an image. 

Dabi: If u see this guy u can still run the other way 

You: hhh fuck You: are u trying to intimidate me You: how do you have so many tattoos but no bedframe

Dabi: Cut me some slack, I just moved into this place 

You: fair warning i'm not as hot as u

Dabi: Bet 

You sent an image. 

Dabi: Why do women always lie. I thought you were better. I thought you were different

You: 😳 You: i'm actually worse

Dabi: We're such a good match

You: don't get ahead of urself. u r still a guy with no bedframe

Dabi: Please shut up

Mar 14 4:16 PM

Dabi: To be clear I'm not bringing flowers or anything  Dabi: And I'm actually willing to let you pay this time lol 

You: you have such a unique way with words 

Dabi: A bit tight on money rn but I'll pay u back some other way 

You: can we make that the first line in our sextape  You: dw i said it's my treat and i mean it You: does that make you feel emasculated

Dabi: Who would I be to say no to free food tf Dabi: If there's a next time I can take you out for drinks  Dabi: Nothing fancy but an old friend of mine owns a bar downtown and his girlfriend mixes a killer mule 

You: if you're gonna poison me after gaining my trust over my favourite food i will be incredibly sad 

Dabi: Give me some credit here. I'm trusting u to not rat me out to law enforcement 

You: you're giving me ideas You: is there a bounty on your head

Dabi: I'm not that important 

Mar 14 9:44 PM

You: so you're just too good to get caught

Dabi: Both flattering and factually correct Dabi: For the record I've never harmed anybody that didn't deserve it 

You: thanks for clarifying  You: i feel so safe now 

Dabi: Anytime  Dabi: If you're having second thoughts lmk before 10 am so I won't spend time getting ready for nothing 

You: 10 am is crazy  You: u r so vain 

Dabi: Alright then I won't 😔

You: i take it back You: be pretty for me

Mar 15 5:30 AM

You: can't sleep 

Mar 15 7:12 AM

Dabi: How the turntables  Dabi: Are you alright

You: yes  You: it's the good kind of sleepless 

Dabi: It's fine if you're having second thoughts, I won't hold it against you at all  Dabi: Just texting like this is nice too

You: fuck no i wanna meet the man behind the screen You: the myth, the legend, the crimelord himself 

Dabi: I'm never showing consideration for ur wellbeing ever again 

You: should've ghosted me before i got attached

Mar 15 9:54 AM

Dabi: Last chance to bail gracefully  

You: you make it so tempting 

Dabi: Getting out of bed then 

You: it's not a bed if it doesn't have a bedframe

Dabi: Shut, and I mean this in the gentlest way possible, the hell your mouth

Mar 15 12:08 PM

Dabi sent a location pin.

Dabi: Is this the place

You: that's the one  You: be there in a few minutes 

Dabi: I'm waiting outside 

Mar 15 12:13 PM

You: omg i think i see u You: im shy

Dabi: U literally have so much blackmail material on me 

You: give me a second You: alright I'm coming over This message could not be delivered.

[periwinklecosma]

update: writing-prompt-s continues to double down on painting 90-ghost as an unreliable scammer

after this post i made about writing-prompt-s being a complete and total dickweed started spreading around, i honestly thought i'd be done with them for the time being, but someone in the reblogs of that post called something to my attention, and i'm completely and utterly disgusted. i don't care anymore at this point, i just don't want ANYTHING related to writing-prompt-s and their racism towards palestinians passing under the radar, hence this new post. please, if you remember reblogging the first post, reblog this one too, because i think this is an important follow-up. and if you somehow missed all of this until now and you have no idea what this is about, the post i linked explains pretty much all you need to know because i'm not gonna bother going over old info right now.

i thought writing-prompt-s quietly deleting their shitty racist post was a real coward move but i figured that they wouldn't do anything other than pretend like they never said anything and hope that this all blows over for them eventually. but apparently they can't stfu because, in the wake of everyone pointing out to them that 90-ghost aka ahmed has had tumblr for 12 years, they made this post:

i'm completely speechless that even in the face of intense backlash and overwhelming evidence to the contrary that they'd rather double down on attacking ahmed's identity than admit to being wrong. a few of the other dumbasses who accused palestinians of being scammers, while never exactly apologizing, at least backtracked on what they said and went "okay well maybe some of them are legit," but this cunt can't even do that. and what's more, they're doing it in this weird underhanded way where people who aren't in the know (and even some who are) wouldn't understand what they're trying to do here. you know, because they're a little bitch who can't even be open about the fact that they're a virulent racist, so they choose to only express it using subtle tactics.

anyway the screenshotted post is in the wayback machine already in case writing-prompt-s chooses to do the expected thing and delete it in the same way they deleted their initial post.

seriously, we need to wreck this guy.

[ju1cyfru1t]

Hello. I read a few of your scenarios for the Rise boys and really liked them. So, I decided to sent in my wok request.

Could you do something for the four brothers (separately) where they react to their s/o calling them their husband. Like s/o is on the phone and reverse to the turtle as their husband. Like not directly to them but they still hear it.

If I didn’t describe it well enough you could look up ‚calling my bf husband to see his reaction‘ on TikTok they’re really cute and funny.

And the gender of the reader is up to you, I don’t really care.

your wish is my command 🧞‍♀️ AND THANK YOU <3

ROTTMNT x Fem! Reader

reader accidentally calls him her husband

Rise! Leo, Mikey, Raph, Donnie x Fem! Reader (separately)

fluff! :D fem!reader, romantic

It’s Pizza night at the lair! :D….like almost every other night.

You offered to call in to order the pizza for them. How kind. To be honest, he wasn’t really listening until you said something that really caught his attention.

“Yes, thank you. and my husband would like-“

Leo

- internally screaming but tries to play it cool

- if there’s anyone who’s gonna make you regret even opening your mouth it’s this mf

- cocky bitch, but is polite enough (I guess) to wait until you’re off the phone to say anything

- OBVIOUSLY now he’s gonna call you wifey

- “HUSBAND? I mean, Husband, huh? I knew you liked me, but not THAT much~” STFU

- def laid awake that night thinking about it tho

- is never going to let you forget this

- “please, allow your husband.”

Mikey

- externally screaming

- you got him running laps 🏃‍♀️

- considered getting down on one knee right there 💍

- Immediately is all over you; peppering your face with kisses, his arms wrapped around you

- he is squeezing the life out of you he was so happy to hear you say that

- you cannot tell me he isn’t 100% convinced you’ll be together for the rest of your lives anyways

- but to hear you say it like that??? he just finds you so precious

- “ y/n you’re so cute!” “Michael hold on! I’m still on the phone-“

Raph

- took him a minute to process

- wait him??? your HUSBAND???

- I mean…he didn’t mind that sound of that.

- man is already thinking of his vows 👰‍♂️ JK

- is surprised for a moment, but just lets himself be happy. he is a bit embarrassed tho

- daydreams your wedding now

- might accidentally call you his wife now too 🧍‍♀️

- “guys, remember my wife said in- I MEAN, Y/N. Y/N SAID- I MEANT Y/N-“

- Leo is rolling on the floor laughing, Donnie is slightly horrified

- Mikey is your flower girl

Donnie

- almost snaps his neck to whip around and look at you

- Flabbergasted and also a little afraid

- Honestly hoping he heard you wrong; That’s a big commitment

- Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that he isn’t committed he just doesn’t know how to feel about MARRIAGE

- probably had to excuse himself for a moment to really process (might have went to his lab to scream)

- would try to go on normally like it never happened, but it’s definitely burned into the back of his mind for a long time after that

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello! I would like to please request a MCYT preference (Quackity, Tommy, Ranboo, Karl, Tubbo, Badlinu) dating a SO who is a model. Their partner always look amazing in photos whether its blurry or not. They can even make a simple outfit look amazing.

You know those viewers pick my outfits videos (example: Dan and Phil)? You bet your ass that they will do it with their partners.

oooo yeah sure!!! ; also sorry if this is like wrong in any way, idk much about modeling lmaooo ; thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy!

MCYT ; model babe

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

the most supportive person everrrrr

you model mostly for alt brands so when a new thing pops up he's ON IT

he's a little dumb when it comes to remembering when you do certain shoots and he's like "when was this???"

always bragging how he pulled a 10

"remembering I have a model for an s/o 😍😍😍"

tubbo replies with "stfu"

you reply to him with "hater era is the worst tubbo era"

"u aren't even that big of a model u model for like hot topic bitch"

"learn to use commas"

he's so jealous of you but he keeps it lowkey

"I wish I had hair like yours" "I wish my smile was as pretty/handsome as yours"

you have to constantly remind him he's a 10 too 😔

RANBOO

plugging your shoots and socials all the time

you do some streams with them teaching them and Charlie how to model/what you do for shoots

you three did a "pick my outfit" video and posted the pics to insta before posting the video 💀

"guys... what happened?"

"I think they got drunk because what is this 💀💀"

"new y/n shoot dropped : we got drunk edition"

"HELP THESE ARE THE BEST"

became the face of tumblr memes for like 2 years after that

you also model for their merch/have given them tips on modeling the merch as well

model duo 😍

FREDDIE BADLINU

sooooo infatuated with you

saves literally every professional photo taken of you

"me and my s/o 😊❤️" and it's the cutest couples video ever of the bf swooning over his gf

always sending you poses to try out and stuff for your own personal pics

he always makes you the center in all his pretty photos and getting you to model / show him how to pose

he's literally so obsessed and thinks you're so fucking cool cause you model

even if it's just content creator merch or small shops, he's just like 🤯

"i went to a shoot with y/n... video drops tomorrow 3pm est"

"you ate that dress up freddie, trust"

yall r THE two pretty best friends

ALEX QUACKITY

BAD BITCH! WITH HER BADDIE FRIEND! TWO BAD BITCHES TWO BAD BITCHES!!!

anyways

sooooo infatuated

brings u on stream when he's lonely just to stare at you for a minute

"this is my baddie model s/o guys, say hi! 🤗🤗"

replies "BARK BARK BARK" under your posts like some crazy stan

the only stan u appreciate

he has a secret fan page for you

he edits too

they're pretty good for a beginner trying transition edits

made you a model playlist so you can get hyped for shoots as well and feel like a bad bitch

[ellstronaut]

[ ◉¯] tlougram [ ◉¯]

#just a silly AU

ellie is typing. . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] ellie’s account reads like a tech-illiterate-social-degenerate

[ ◉¯] girl literally has 3k followers (boggles her mind how it’s even possible) all of varying degrees of sketchiness

[ ◉¯] her bio’s literally just her initials—ew (yep thinks she’s hilarious ) paired with “space is cool ig” [insert shitty space emoji]

[ ◉¯] tbh—she doesn’t really get the whole “influencer” thing (like what is she influencing???)

[ ◉¯] like the only reason she finally caved and made an account to begin with is because dina and jesse practically bullied her into it

[ ◉¯] which shows—her feed is a hot mess of random pics; memes, a random cat video she saved on her gallery

[ ◉¯] and don’t expect to be fed either—her account is D.E.A.D (you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment)

[ ◉¯] definitely the type to forget she even has an account

[ ◉¯] but best believe—when she does post, its spaced out between 2-3 months

[ ◉¯] maybe a handful of artsy-fartsy pics somewhere in between

[ ◉¯] but most of her pics are literally just sketches (she drew at the back of her physics book) random crap she thinks is funny, memes that only make sense to her, n the occasional trip to the museum/nature pics

[ ◉¯] and like a grand total of one—just one selfie (and yes she did delete the rest)

[ ◉¯] fun fact: she may or may not have accidentally liked one of Dina’s/Cat’s old selfies on a burner account

[ ◉¯] tried to do damage control by unliking almost immediately

[ ◉¯] since we’re being messy—(swears she’d kill anyone on site who dares bring that up but whatever) she once got a chat request from a bot thinking it was a real person 💀

[ ◉¯] spent weeks on end flirting and ofc had to gush about it (like the true degenerate she is)

ೃ༄

spacenerd: dude shes hot

제시: whos hot

[spacenerd has sent an attachment]

dinasure: uh ellie

spacenerd: ??

dinasure: gonna hold ur hand when I say this 😃

spacenerd: she replies quick tho plus shes really nice ;)

제시: bet

spacenerd: huh

제시: bro so is siri

spacenerd: siri cant say stuff like rate my tits??

dinasure: issa bot u moron 💀

[spacenerd has sent a voicenote]

▷ 0:00 ───|────── 0:30

dinasure: fuck no

dinasure: bro just block

제시: ^yea pretty sure @bot_bae ain’t real 😭

spacenerd: SHE SO IS

dinasure: chile…anyways so

spacenerd: u know wat

[spacenerd has left the chat]

dinasure: LMAOO cryingsh

dinasure: think u hurt her feelings

제시:no cap that is sad

dinasure: real like how tf u gonna get catfished by a bot and fall in LOVE 🙃

제시: YEAH bro really down bad for ( . )( . )

dinasure: PLSSSJH

[spacenerd has joined the chat]

spacenerd: IT WAS A GOOD BOT OK

dinasure: i have more chemistry with chatgpt

spacenerd: stfu

spacenerd: n D u dont get to come for me when u deadass fucked a twilight bot

dinasure: bitch its called rp

dinasure: n that was like ONE time

spacenerd: me when i lie

dinasure: i like my men less sparkly now!!!

jesse is typing . . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] unlike ellie—jesse takes his social media presence very seriously

[ ◉¯] got like +8k followers (most of which are girls) cause that man is a snack (duh)

[ ◉¯] his whole vibe is mellow but cool

[ ◉¯] like his IG feed reads like an episode of Crazy Rich Asians (with the extra added thirst traps of course)

[ ◉¯] aka a perfectly curated mix of aesthetic photos, artsy shots, friends/family and ofc his dog Yeontan

[ ◉¯] definitely the type of boyfriend to post unflattering pics of his gf but not out of malice

[ ◉¯] but you know in a—i’m obnoxiously in love sorta way

[ ◉¯] he may be bilingual but he’s very much in touch with his culture—like dude got a bunch of pics of him back in the Motherland

[ ◉¯] ellie low-key tries to get him to teach her a few curse words in Korean but like 99% of the time ends up teaching her the wrong words instead

[ ◉¯] ofc his username is in hangul— (if anything it’s to make his mom happy—because yes he follows her back on Insta)

[ ◉¯ ] and yes he’s such a boy mom—dina and ellie give him a ton of shit for it

ೃ༄

spacenerd: totally know what that means frfr

dinasure: oppa?

제시: 죽을래?

google translation: you want to die?

[ ◉¯] it’s an inside joke, lord knows how many kpop stans flood his dms—in which he makes the point to block them on site (as he should lol) because korean he may BE—your oppa he is NOT

[ ◉¯] yeah—he makes it pretty damn clear in his bio “yall gotta stop with the BTS shit”

dina is typing . . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] Dina’s THAT bitch

[ ◉¯] got like +30k followers—is the whole package; hot—effortlessly cool, funny, charismatic (it’s literally unfair)

[ ◉¯] ofc she’s been scouted by at least three modelling agencies

[ ◉¯] and her pictures? flawless—we’re talking gorgeous—goddess-esque—baddie

[ ◉¯] literally the worst part about being friends with Dina: is how ridiculously photogenic she is

[ ◉¯] can roll up out of bed, unshowered, bare-faced and still look hot af (god has favourites I suppose)

[ ◉¯] definitely the type to have the most engagement (via replies, comments, shares, tagged—you name it)

[ ◉¯] absolutely loves sharing her hot girl adventures/outings—fr the embodiment of hot girl summer

[ ◉¯] expect an assortment of her hiking, visiting galleries, cafés, festivals + parties, and of course her many different fits (not that anyone’s complaining)

[ ◉¯] bio reads: my mom thinks I’m cool

[ ◉¯] don’t get me started on her simps—if delulu were a person, it would be Dina’s cult of fanboys

[ ◉¯] one time a dude wrote her poetry—straight up typed a whole ass sonnet ( Shakespeare reincarnate but in simptongue)

[ ◉¯] in which of course her friends had to add their two cents

ೃ༄

spacenerd: its always ily but never

spacenerd: my queen i kneel, my heart it weeps 😞

제시: lmaooooo 💀

[ ◉¯]not just down bad— we’re talking the most absurd, thirsty/depraved comments—

whitedevil commented: Id let you ruin my life

christian.not.jay commented: feet? 🤤

chrislovesyou commented: looked at my girl and sighed

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] imagine the heartbreak if they ever found out she has a whole ass man (cue what does she SEE in him)

[ ◉¯] so much salt it could fill a whole an entire ocean

cat is typing . . . ╰──╮

ೃ༄

[ ◉¯] Cat’s account oozes creativity—doodles, sketches, watercolour—digital art the whole nine yards

[ ◉¯] her feed is basically one giant art gallery—like an extension of her art portfolio

[ ◉¯] so if you’re looking for an artsy feed, look no further

[ ◉¯] def an alt girlie (lowkey goth/punk lite) aka dark and edgy but with a soft side to her

[ ◉¯] and by lowkey I mean a beautiful—soft, kind of morbid artistry

[ ◉¯] the vibes she exudes with the outfits, piercings, the makeup and tattoos? (Chefs kiss) high key hot but intimidating

[ ◉¯] not too keen with the whole parasocial thing— “eh it’s nice having people look at my work, but not for me” kinda vibe

[ ◉¯] the type to solely use it for promotional purposes that and activism (btw NOT just for the brownie points like would deadass go outside, touch grass and do something about it)

[ ◉¯] definitely advocates for the environment—supports charities and organizations who fight against systematic oppression (racism, misogyny, etc.)

[ ◉¯] which is one of many reasons why Ellie’s got a huge fat ass crush on her (if it wasn’t already so obvious)

[ ◉¯] proudly Asian—wears it like a badge of honour and is the first to call out racists (and homophobes) any KIND of bigotry tbh

[ ◉¯] her bio reads—“life’s too short for shitty music” and “gay btw” :)” y’know for the losers that might need a little disclaimer

[ ◉¯] not a fan of stupid Asian stereotypes

[ ◉¯] you just know she gets a ton of gross fetishizing DMs (like why do they ALWAYS have an anime pfp)

[ ◉¯] because ruthless she can be with her clap backs

ೃ༄

tagging my besties @bonnibelblanca @adhdprincess ily

[analog-kidd]

If Fire Emblem Had Tumblr Part 2

(part 1)

🪙annablr-staff ☑️

Introducing New Features!

Keep reading

🔪v-a-n-t-a-g-e Follow

WTF ARE THESE NEW FEATURES????

ARE YOU TRYING TO SCAM US????

😈fallenwyvern Follow

this is annablr ofc theyre gonna try and scam us

#smh new users bitching abt annablr are so annoying #yeah no shit its a scam

(946,199 notes)

💜mlm-sewer-assassin Follow

Gods why are the men from Tellius so hot!?!

Like look

ugggggggggghhhhhhhlsslcdk;nakc king cainegusdisisudapdaso sooo hottttt 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

🦁the-real-king-of-beasts☑️ Follow

I'll take that as a complement haha

💜mlm-sewer-assassin Follow

(110,119 notes)

🐴cantocantocantocanter Follow

*Edit* I know on other continents archers can promote to other things but I was thinking about Ylisse, Elyos, and Magvel when making this poll

💘no-i-wont-shut-up Follow

in valentia and fodlan snipers promote into bow knights 😎

🏰armored-general Follow

CAN MOUNTED UNITS SHUT UP ABOUT BEING "THE BEST CLASS"!!!!

NO YOUR NOT!!!!

🪶lighterthanafeather Follow

Youre just jealous that we have a bigger movement range

🏰armored-general Follow

NO IM NOT!

and whats that mov gonna do when you get one rounded by a lvl 6 fighter cause your winged donkey falls apart by a light breeze

🪶lighterthanafeather Follow

Sorry! Can't hear you with that 4 mov!

#armors stop being slow challenge (impossible)

(1,109 notes)

🔫tastemyfeglock Follow

Ugh,, can breidablik STOp summoning fredrick???

I already summoned like 7 of him today!!!

🪨pickagodandprey Follow

what??????? who's breidablik??? why am I being summoned??? I am right here next to my lord in his castle, I'm confused???????

🔫tastemyfeglock Follow

GO AWAY!!! YOURE USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

🪨pickagodandprey Follow

Excuse me?? I don't even know you!

🪚sidecharater121 Follow

Hey look! A Fredrick that hasn't been summoned yet

(553 notes)

⚜️youngknightnight Follow

Sorry guys for being inactive for so long,,

I was having family issues,,

basically I'm a sword knight about to promote and I wanna be able to use bow upon promotion but my fucking parents keep insisting on axes but I don't wanna use axes!

They keep saying that "axes are sooooo much better than bows" "we encounter so many lance users, why don't you want that advantage?" or "bows only works at two range, why do you want to be defenseless at one range?" bro stfu let me live! I just wanna use bows OKAY?!

Sorry everyone its just been a lot.

#elitists dni #or I will cut you

(39 notes)

🌠thracianstar Follow

found this weird looking lance an enemy dropped while on my trip in Fodlan.

Gonna try an use it in the next battle!

🎏h-o-l-l-o-w-v-e-s-s-a-l Follow

uhhhh op? I don't recommend using that lance unless you have a crest but your post implies you're not from Fodlan soo uh

don't fucking use it if you wanna live

🐟fishphish Follow

op? op are you there? OP??

🦴️armorcrusher Follow

OP?!?!? OP!!!!!!!!!????? ANSWER US OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(437 notes)

🥩singingnmeat Follow

this is the best thing in the world on divine dragon

❤️️crimsonrider Follow

#this is something my wyvern would say if he could talk #anyways #back to hating on my brother

(391 notes)

💚blueplusyellowunit Follow

I found this blueish-white wyvern near Crimea but it wouldn't let me ride it!

It started to thrash around, I had to stop when it started breathing fire

ik you just can't tame a wild wyvern without a lot of time, but the wyvern looked so pretty😭😭😭😭

💭dragon-ggilf Follow

WAIT WAS THAT YOU WHO TRIED TO RIDE ME?!?!?

YOU ALMOST RIPPED OUT ONE OF MY HORNS WHILE TRYING MOUNT ME!!!!

ASSHOLE!!!!

💚blueplusyellowunit Follow

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE NOT A WYVERN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry

(2,330 notes)

😉sranks Follow

I tried to use his lance but my rank was D

😉sranks Follow

easy website

(24,998 notes)

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

gonna use the devil axe,

wish me luck!

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

I'm liking my odds!!

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

cleic

(492 notes)

👺foxythings Follow

Swords are the worst weapon type in my kitsune opinion

🗡theawesomemerc Follow

kys

#you dont even use weapons wtf #how tf should you know

(97 notes)