#anyway sorry this is so all over the place

[ladsonlads]

Impartial Hearts | Sylus - Part Two

Pairing -> Boss Sylus x Non MC Reader

Parts -> Part One | Part Two

Synopsis -> You’ve been working as Onychinus’s accountant for two years, and you’ve been carrying two heavy secrets for a third of it. You were in love with your boss, and your mother was dying.

A/N -> I'm sorry it took so long. I have been obsessing over trying to make part two perfect but I don't think I can. It's time I share my baby with you, and I really hope you enjoy it.

Tags -> Angst, fluff :)

Trigger Warnings -> Character death, heavily mentions grief. Some parts are suggestive but there is no smut.

Word Count -> 18.8K (it got kinda crazy)

Late October

It was cold, dark and gloomy; the weather a perfect pathetic fallacy to the narrative of your life. The freshly disturbed patch of grass failed to convey the significance of who laid underneath it. It was vexing, how the world continued to spin on it’s axis despite the fact that it stopped spinning for you. 

It hurt to think about the events that led to your undoing. The weeks prior to the moment your mother drew her last breath. You were a cracked vase filled with wilting flowers and overflowing regret. Every breath you took consumed more energy than you could spare and yet the world just. Kept. Spinning. 

“I brought you flowers. Yellow tulips, by the way.” The words felt like lead on your tongue. It was one thing to accept your mother was never coming back, it was another to try to act normal about it. “I know you never cared for them, but I didn’t think leaving a pack of cigarettes on your grave was very tasteful.” You bitterly smiled to yourself at the memories of your mom sneaking a cigarette in the backyard when she thought you were asleep. It was a nasty habit you did everything to rid her of. A fruitless attempt to protect her from the inevitable. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t figured out your epitaph yet. It’s just so hard to condense your entire life into a few words. Plus, they charge by the letter, so I’m trying to be really selective.” It felt weird, speaking into empty space, but you read online that it helped with grief, so you tried anyway. 

That was how you approached most things nowadays. Eating, drinking, sleeping, they all seemed meaningless. But, you knew you couldn’t survive on just antagonism and mourning, so you did it anyway. 

“Zayne called again. I know you told me not to hate him and that it wasn’t his fault, but I can’t bring myself to agree.” 

The moment Zayne told you that the heart that could save your mother’s life was going to someone else replayed in your mind like a scratched vinyl stuck on an aggravating note.

“I got so frustrated by his constant calls that I threw my phone into the ocean.” You let out a sad laugh. “Guess that’s the last time I bring anything with me when I’m walking along the coast.” 

You paused for a moment, feeling stupid. But you had so much to say to her, it all just began spilling out.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I might lose the house. I burned through all my paid leave, and the idea of going back to work for Sylus makes me want to put my head through a wood-chipper. I know I have to, but how can I focus on work when I have nothing left to work for?” You tasted the tears before you felt them, the saltiness reminded you of your weekends at the beach with your mom. You did everything to get out of joining her, you hated the beach, but it was her favourite place to be and in a desperate attempt to cling on to whatever was left of her, you forced it to be yours too.

“I’m sorry I never got you that house you dreamed of, or the dog. I’m sure there are lots of dogs in heaven, and at least the dogs there have been screened. With my luck any dog I would’ve gotten you would’ve been evil.” You teetered around the grievance you truly wanted to apologise for. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t spend much time with you before you passed away. I was so sure you would get the transplant. I tried so hard to save for it. I should’ve been with you. If I knew—” The sobs raked through you with a force that knocked the air out of your lungs. You sat down next to her tombstone, leaning your head against the chiseled rock. 

There were moments when you’d wake up, and in the haze of your muddled mind you’d forget she was dead. But then the ache in your body is deciphered by your mind, and you’re reminded of just how much you’ve lost. Maybe that’s why they called it mourning. Grief dawned on you like the rising sun.

Life had a way of being entirely unfair, and there was nowhere to hide from fate’s piercing claws. And as if to ensure you hadn’t forgotten just how cruel life could be, your head whipped around at the sound of footsteps behind you to find the last person you wanted to see.

Sylus was dressed in a long black coat hanging effortlessly off of his broad shoulders, a black dress shirt that really should’ve been buttoned up to the top, and a pair of black slacks that made his long legs look impossibly longer. He looked every bit the cunning grim reaper, and it wasn’t just because he was surrounded by graves.

“I didn’t know you were back in the N109 Zone.” The words came out harsher than you intended as your head returned to it’s position against the rock. 

Sylus stopped in front of you, lowering himself to his haunches so that you would be face-to-face. It stung to look at him, so you focused on picking at the grass instead. 

“I only got back a few hours ago. I heard about your mother. I’m sorry.” Having been deprived of his voice for over a month, you cursed the butterflies that coursed through you like muscle memory. Part of you wished he’d returned disfigured, but you knew it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Ugly or devastatingly beautiful, the storm that was Sylus could not be stopped, only weathered. 

“Sorry that she died or sorry that you weren’t there?” The bitterness in your tone was unfamiliar to you. Even though you knew it was unfair of you to expect him to have stayed, he left immediately after he dropped you off at the hospital and you hoped he’d have been there just a little longer. It didn’t help that you didn’t hear from him until two weeks later, and by then you were too engrossed in your battle against Akso hospital’s medical board to respond. 

“You haven’t been answering my calls; they’re not even going through anymore. You haven’t blocked me, have you?” Sylus countered your question with one of his own. If you cared enough, you might’ve called him out on his diversion. 

“No, my phone broke.” That was an understatement if there ever was one. 

“How long ago?”

“A week.” That much was true and since you couldn’t afford a smart phone, a shitty $30 flip phone weighed down your pocket. 

“And all the times I called before then?” Sylus’s eyes perused you with intensity, and you suddenly felt self-conscious. You weren’t dressed well, in a pair of black sweatpants that were too big on you and a matching hoodie. Grieving people were allowed to dress terribly without judgement, Y/N. It’s okay.

“I didn’t feel like picking up.” The grass continued to bare the brunt of your nerves as you answered. The you that wasn’t effectively an orphan would’ve made up some excuse to protect his feelings, but you were resolved to change that. Your mother was strong, independent, and she never backed down from a fight. Not against men like Sylus, and not against her illness. If you wanted to honour her memory then you had to live your life the way she’d want you to.

“Do you have a phone now?” 

You reached into the pocket of your sweatpants to take out the grey flip phone. You watched as Sylus bit back a laugh.

“I’ll get you a new one.”

“I don’t need you to get me anything.” You quickly retorted.

“You’re going to need a phone from this century if you’re working for me, Y/N.” He said it so casually, as if you were put on this earth solely to serve him as his accountant. 

“Right, about that…” Your determination to be confident and unapologetic began to dwindle as you wondered how to tell Sylus you needed more time.

“No. Resigning is not an option.” Twelve minutes. It took Sylus twelve minutes to return to his usual controlling self. You were impressed, truly, it was a new record after all. 

“We don’t have a blood pact, Sylus. I can resign if I want to. Besides, that’s not what I was going to say. I need more time off.” You didn’t sound very convincing, but it wasn’t like you could change who you were overnight. It would take a lifetime to unlearn your bad habits. 

Sylus looked conflicted, as if he didn’t know what to say. When he chose to finally open his mouth, you wished he hadn’t.

“I’ve given you a month, Y/N. That’s enough.” His statement came out so matter-of-factly, you wondered if you had imagined it. A month was not nearly enough to recover from losing your mom, but you figured a man who killed people for a living wouldn’t understand. 

“It’s only been two weeks since she died. And I’m sure the temp you’ve got is perfectly competent.”

“The temp doesn’t know the company like you do and I haven’t bothered teaching him on the premise that you were returning. If you’re not back soon I can’t promise you’ll have a job to come back to.” 

The tension in the air dissipated as you began to laugh. Loudly. Obnoxiously. Hysterically. 

“You— You seriously think I care whether or not I have a job? I can barely will myself to eat right now—employment is not my priority.” You wiped back the tears that began to spill out. Their origin unknown, between your hysteria and sorrow, your eyes were constantly puffy.

“People die all the time, sweetheart. It’s no reason to throw your future away.” Sylus stood up straight at the end of his statement, holding his hand out to you. 

The angel on your shoulder whispered that in his own peculiar way, this was his attempt at comforting you. But you stopped listening to that angel when they buried your mom under six-feet of dirt, and you couldn’t help the word vomit that escaped you like water barrelling out of a splintered dam. 

You pushed away his hand, and stood up to look at him with a ferocity you didn’t know you possessed.

“I get that something really dark and twisted must have happened in your youth to make you so heartless, but most people have shitty childhoods, sweetheart. We choose not to be terrible, insufferable people because of it.” The unbridled rage you’d spend so long trying to suppress seeped out of you uncontrollably as you screamed at Sylus. You walked toward him, your anger taking hold of you as you began to push him away. A few months ago you would’ve given anything to touch him, now all you cared about was making him feel a semblance of the pain he instilled in you. 

“Some of us choose to feel our emotions in their entirety, regardless of how much it hurts, because we’re not scared to love and lose. You’re a coward, Sylus and you may think that my mother dying is just an inevitable consequence of life, but my world will never be the same.” In an attempt to calm down, you took a deep breath.

“You can judge me all you want, but it won’t change the fact that when you die, no one will mourn you.” The word vomit continued, and when you saw the hurt flash briefly within his eyes, you felt the arms of regret begin to sink their claws into you. 

You shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t you.

But before you could take it all back, Sylus’s phone began ringing and you figured from the urgency in which he answered it must’ve been her. 

“I lost track of time, I’ll be right there.” He spoke in a low voice in what you could only assume was an attempt to mask the fact that he was leaving you for something more important, again. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.

“Just go.” You waved him off and turned back around to face your mother’s grave, though now the tears welling up in your eyes couldn’t be entirely attributed to the grief. 

Early November

You weren’t sure time could heal the gaping wound your mother’s passing left behind, but grief had settled into your life like an imposing aunt. It was in your home, touching your things, ruining your food, and never once leaving you alone. It didn’t feel so all-consuming anymore, but it clung onto you constantly like a shadow. 

You were watching the third Harry Potter movie at 8am when you received the eviction notice via Email. You’d been expecting it, ultimately you were behind on rent, but the reason plastered on the paper was exponentially worse than your own incompetence.

…Selling to developers…suburban expansion project…

As if losing your childhood home wasn’t bad enough, they were planning on destroying it. Memories were bound to decay with time, that was an inevitable consequence of being human. Sooner or later you’d forget the way your mom dressed, or the smell of her perfume. Tangible things like photographs, places, they kept those memories anchored. You couldn’t lose the house, it wasn’t an option. 

You spent the next hour trying to reason with your landlord over the phone, but he was committed to selling. He rejected every single one of your proposals, though even you knew they were weak at best. The developers were offering significantly more than market value, there was no way you could beat that. Stupid gentrification. But, your landlord told you he was sympathetic, and the deal hadn’t been finalised just yet. If you could match the developer’s offer by the end of the month, he’d gladly sell it to you instead.

Of course the developer’s offer was $800,000, and by the looks of your financials, you were about $796,312 short. 

Desperate for a catharsis for your unending frustration, you screamed into the throw pillow on your couch until your throat felt raw. Then, you opened up your laptop to figure out a plan. 

30 minutes later you had:

Sell your kidney to an organ broker and use the money to get a loan from any dodgy bank that would accept your mediocre credit score. 

Dabble briefly in prostitution and use the money to get a loan from any dodgy bank that would accept your mediocre credit score.

Become a squatter and protest the demolition of your home environmental-activist style. 

“Wow, Y/N. Graduated top of your class and this was all you could come up with, huh?” You muttered to yourself as you stared at the list of terrible ideas. Your mind hadn’t come up with something so horrific since the bed-in-breakfast Mother’s Day fiasco when you were 11. 

The only option that didn’t end in bodily harm or a prison sentence was to work as many jobs as humanly possible for the next few weeks in hopes you could somehow manage to accumulate the deposit for a loan. You could probably sell some appliances too, and maybe revisit the kidney idea if it came to it. 

Despite it being a long-shot, you had to try. You changed into a pair of flared leggings and a sweater. It was basic and borderline mismatched but traversing your explosive closet was a large undertaking you tended to avoid. You dug a copy of your old resume out from your file drawer, after all, it wasn’t like your experience as Onychinus’s accountant was going to do you any good. Further, listing Sylus as a reference would ensure you never got a job again. 

You figured the easiest place to start was the central district of the N109 zone, bars and restaurants there were constantly hiring and from what you’d heard their only requirement was that you had two functioning legs and arms. But when you tried to leave through the door to begin the job search you collided with a formidable wall. 

Since when was there a—

“Where you headed to, Y/N?” The familiar voice was so surprising it made you jump, the action accompanied by a shrill scream.

“What the fuck? Why are you just standing outside my door?” You rarely ever swore and you were sure that if your mother was still alive she’d throw her shoe at you for using the devil’s language. But of all the things you expected to see that morning, Sylus outside your door was not one of them. 

“Is that any way to welcome your old employer?” Sylus stepped into your home without an invitation. Conclusive proof against your theory that he was secretly a vampire. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked again, still staring at Sylus like he sprouted a second head. You couldn’t think of a single reason why he’d show up at your place of residence, he never did while you were still his employee.

“I need you to come back.” You choked back a laugh at his ridiculous request. Was he insane?

“Go to hell.” Your vicious response didn’t sway Sylus. 

“I’ve fired an accountant every week since you left. The accounts are in complete disarray, half my businesses are behind on their bills, the other half have been paying the wrong amounts to the wrong companies. My investors are unhappy, my debtors are one week away from assuming I’ve gone bankrupt and I haven’t slept in weeks. Come. Back.” While it stroked your ego to hear that the organisation was suffering in your absence, you couldn’t just forget the terrible way he’d treated you in and out of the workplace. 

“You insisted I was especially replaceable and now you’re saying you can’t replace me?” You chose to remind him of just how horrid of an employer he was, an action he didn’t appreciate. 

“If you’re going to dwell on the semantics I’d rather just cut to the chase. What’s it going to take to get you back?” Sylus’s tone suggested he was truly trying to negotiate with you. Of course a man like him didn’t know how to take no for an answer. 

“Pigs to fly.” You quipped, opening your door in hopes he’d get the hint and leave. 

“Y/N, I’m serious. We can’t survive without you.” His desperation went straight to your head, but you stood your ground. 

“Then die.” You tried to shove him out of your doorway, but he was about as easy to move as a truck. 

“Everyone has something they desire, sweetheart. Name your price.” While you were ready to fire up a quick retort, his suggestion reminded you of the very reason you were about to leave the house. 

Perhaps this was a sign; you could swallow your pride if it meant you got to keep your home. 

You pretended to give it thought, sighing loudly in contemplation. “Fine. I want a sign-on bonus. Or in this case, a re-sign-on bonus, I guess…” You trailed off, unsure if he would agree. 

“Alright, how much?” He was quick to accept your terms, and you decided to test the waters of just how desperate he was for your return. 

“A million dollars.” 

“Done.” 

Dammit, you should’ve asked for more. 

“I want a personal driver too, I’m sick of biking to work.” You would’ve been okay with just the bonus, after all, it was insanely generous. But you’d be a fool not to milk this opportunity for what it was worth.

“Anything else, princess?” The condescending nickname only added fuel to the fire as you fired off more requests. 

“I don’t want to share my office with the twins anymore, they’re loud and annoying and they have no respect for the sanctity of my monthly budgets.”

“Okay.”

You masked your shock at his sudden magnanimity. “One last thing. Since you’ve come to the realisation that I am, in fact, a valuable asset to your organisation, you’re not allowed to be a dick to me anymore.” 

“Elaborate.”

“No more calling me stupid or other degrading insults, threatening my job security, threatening my life — just no more threats in general — and if you’re going to assign me extra work that is beyond the scope of my job description, a please and thank you would be nice.”

“You’re pushing it, Y/N.” Of course treating his employees like human beings was the most difficult request. 

“You just agreed to give me a million dollars and being nice to me is where you draw the line?” 

Sylus sighed, deliberating in silence for a moment. When he saw that your resolve was unrelenting, he begrudgingly agreed. He wasn’t sure where your newfound confidence was coming from, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t find it the slightest bit attractive. 

“Alright, you’ve made your case. I’ll agree to your conditions. Now, please fix it.” 

It took every fibre of your being not to break out into song and dance at your victory. “Let me get my coat.”

______________

You stared at the horrific mess your beautiful spreadsheet had turned in to. This was a disaster. A colossal, unfathomable disaster. “How could you let it get this bad?” Your voice was dripping with fear, it was like staring a train wreck. 

“It wasn’t like it happened on purpose. Besides, if you’d never—” Sylus interrupted his own sentence which you were sure contained an insult, and you could almost hear the evil chuckle resounding in your head at the sight of his obedience. This was going to be fun. 

“This is going to take forever to fix.” It would actually only take the day, but you didn’t need to tell him that.

“I need it fixed by the end of the week. Please.” He looked pained as he added the nicety. Soooooo much fun.

“Add on a massage chair for my office and I’ll get it done by Wednesday.” You wondered just how far you could push his desperation. 

“Deal.” He held his hand out for you to shake and when you did, you felt a strange sense of accomplishment. Now you could tell people ‘How to Tame Your Dragon’ was loosely based on your life. 

“You know, Sylus, I’m liking this new dynamic.” Your shit-eating grin couldn’t be wiped off of your face no matter how hard you tried.

“Oh I can tell. Now, get to work.” Sylus made a show of pulling out your office chair for you, and when you sat in it for the first time in two months, you felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. And for once, the recollection of your past didn’t hurt as much as it usually did.  

Mid-November

This time around, your employment under Sylus was much more pleasant. Surprisingly, he’d actually adhered to your conditions. 

The twins were slightly offended that you no longer wanted to share your office with them, but their gratefulness for your return trumped any antagonism they had for you. You were kind of a celebrity in Onychinus’s executive team, their saviour, if you will. 

But, the enjoyment of your newly established status could not be savoured. Undoing months of mistakes was turning out to be positively exhausting. You were an accountant; socially awkward, stuck to her Excel sheets, spent most of her free time indulging in shitty rom-coms. You were not built for briefing CEOs, Chairmen, investors, subsidiaries and of course, debtors, on your commitment to stability via video call.

Sylus insisted it had to be you, even though he usually handled the bureaucratic part of the organisation. Something about him not being able to answer their questions regarding the numbers. You told him you would tell him what to say through an ear piece like a spy movie, but he responded with a resounding no. 

It was more like ‘hell will freeze over before I turn into a glorified puppet, Y/N, blah blah blah’.

Every single one-on-one conference call made you feel like you were getting hives. Not to mention the active effort it took you to refrain from making stupid jokes at every opportunity. When the last one with the representative from Onychinus’s main bank was over, you had officially smoothed over all bad blood between Onychinus and it’s stakeholders.

Giving yourself a moment to recalibrate from the sheer amount of social interaction you had been subjected to, you glared at the shared calendar event. ‘Miss Hunter’s Birthday in 13 days’.

You tried to distract yourself from that familiar sinking feeling in your gut with your work. Sylus never remembered your birthday, but it wasn’t like it mattered. You were his accountant, he was your boss. That was the extent of your relationship, even though you’d both said things to each other that would cause your HR department, if you had one, to self-emulate. But in the chaos of buying your home, going back to work and learning how to navigate life with your unwanted companion; grief, you’d forgotten all about your feelings for Sylus.

They weren’t gone but they were muted, like a voice screaming out to you while your head was underwater. Most of the time they were easy to ignore, but in times like these they were too loud to overlook.

You couldn’t dwell on your self-pity for long because there was a knock at your door. No one ever knocked on your door, people just tended to barge in.

“Come in?” Confusion dripped from your voice. When the door opened to a pair of twins with shameful smiles, you knew they were about to ask you for a favour.

“We… fucked up.” Three words you never wanted to hear coming out of either Luke or Kieran’s mouth.

“What have you done?”

“Long story short. Boss sent us to pick up a gem for Miss Hunter’s birthday. It’s really rare. The man who owns them is this older, heart of gold type old guy who refuses to sell to nefarious people because of his outdated principles. He wouldn’t give it to us, said something about us being part of Onychinus. We knew if boss didn’t get this gem today he’d have our heads displayed on mantels in his office, so we threatened the old man with a gun and then an entire arsenal of security appeared out of thin air and we were blacklisted from the property.” Kieran’s explanation left you astounded. 

The twins had their fair share of asinine mistakes, but this one might have taken the cake. 

“You threatened an old man with a gun…” 

“Yes.” Kieran responded. 

“Over a gem?” You asked in disbelief. 

“A very rare gem!” Luke corrected. 

“Huh. How am I supposed to help?” It was a genuine question, you didn’t really see a way out of this one. 

“Can you go and convince the old man to sell the gem to you?” Kieran’s request made your eyes widen in protest.

“No way! I’ve had my fill of uncomfortable business meetings.” And wasn’t that the truth. If you had to see one more man in a business suit ask you ‘if you even knew what you were talking about’ you might throw your laptop into the first body of water you could find. 

“Please, Y/N. Sylus will kill us. Do you want our deaths to hang over your conscience?” 

Luke’s question was an innocent hyperbole, but at the mention of deaths hanging over your conscience, you were reminded of your mom. Your face dropped, your fingers slowly forgetting what they were supposed to type. Kieran, the more observant twin, elbowed Luke.

“Fuck, Y/N. I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, I’m not going to burst into tears.” You weren’t sure that was true quite yet, but fake it till you make it, right? 

“Will you help us? Please. We’ll owe you big time.” The line was clearly rehearsed since they said it in unison, or maybe it was some weird twin telepathy thing. Either way, it freaked you out so much you agreed. 

“Fine, what’s the address?”

_____________

You knocked on the large wooden door of a beautiful home. It was classically designed, a perfect intersection between modernity and the timeless complexity of archaic house designs. It was rare to see homes like these in a society that prided itself on progress. 

When you heard the sound of soft feet shuffling toward the door, you felt the guilt eat at you internally. You were tricking an old man into selling a gem to people he very reasonably did not want to sell to.

“Y/M/N?” 

Did he— why did he call you by your mother’s name?

“That was my mother, I’m her daughter, Y/N.”

“Oh, thank god, I was beginning to think I’d finally lost it. Come in, come in.” 

Your interest had been piqued, and you forgot all about the gem as you entered the old man’s home.

“I must say, I’m surprised you’re here. Did your mother send you?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “She passed away just over a month ago.”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry, dear. Are you alright?” The question was filled with so much warmth it made tears well up in your eyes. Your mother never had any friends, and you were estranged from your extended family. You were all alone in your grief, and hearing someone who knew your mom in some capacity ask you if you were alright felt bittersweet.

“Yeah. I’m doing okay. If you don’t mind me asking, how did you know her?”

“You don’t know? I figured that was why you were here.” 

Right. The reason you were here, the gem.

“No, I’m actually here entirely coincidentally, I came to acquire a gem.”

“Which gem were you after, dear?” He asked the question as he looked around his living room for something.

“The Painite one.”

He stopped pacing and turned to you with an accusatory stare. “This wouldn’t happen to be related to those two rowdy boys who came by earlier, right?”

“Well…” You couldn’t lie to him. He looked like the old man from ‘Up’, it was entirely unfair. 

“I’m afraid I can’t sell to you. I’m concerned you’ve even gotten yourself wrapped up in such a terrible organisation.” He shook his head, his disappointment evident in his tone. 

“Look, I know what you’ve heard, but most of the rumours you hear about Onychinus don’t have a modicum of truth to them.”

“Then why hasn’t your boss cleared them up?” A great question. 

“In this business its good to have a reputation that instills fear in others. You’ve seen what people do for Protocores and black-market items. Onychinus serves as a… regulatory body of the underworld, the only people they harm are those that harm others.” The practiced speech came from years of listening to Sylus give it to yourself and others. 

“I don’t know dear, I’ve heard some horrific things about their leader, Sylus.” You were probably responsible for a few of those rumours…

“The only horrific thing about him is his sharp tongue. Seriously, he has a way of finding your worst insecurity and then using it to drag you through the dirt.” Recognising the unhelpful tangent, you digressed.

“But when it comes to business, he’s fair and when someone hurts the people he cares about, he’s merciless. He has a good heart, it’s just encased under a very thick layer of stone.” When he didn’t look convinced, you continued. 

“In fact, he wants this gem for a woman. She’s special to him and its her birthday in a few days. She’s a hunter, by the way, she saves lives. So, even if you don’t want to sell to Sylus because he’s probably half demon, you should sell it to her. You know, by proxy.” The argument was a stretch but you couldn’t help your rambling. 

“You are the spitting image of your mother.” 

The comment caught you off-guard.

“You think so?”

“I knew your mother when she was your age. She used to sing live at a bar I frequented with my friends. It was a simpler time, before wanderers attacked. I was head over heels in love with her, and I knew she felt the same way about me. But, she got wrapped up with the wrong guy, a real bad man, and it took finding out she was pregnant with you to break it off with him.” He recounted his past as he continued to search his drawers for something, when he came back to the couch in front of yours, he handed you a photo.

It was of your mother, except she was much younger. She was on a stage performing, a part of her life she never told you about. She looked happy and was glowing with the kind of ethereal beauty that never dwindled with time. He was right, you looked a lot like her. 

“Can I keep this?” You looked up at the man, and he gave you a small nod. 

“Of course. You know, I offered to help her when I found out, said I’d raise the baby as my own, but she told me I was destined for more than she could give me. Said she had to do this on her own. She was stubborn but she loved boundlessly, Y/N, just like you.”

You were confused, this man hadn’t known you for very long, how could he know such a thing? “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what that Sylus man has done to deserve your adoration, but I can tell you love him. And for you to come here on his behalf to convince me to sell him the rarest gem in the world for another woman? You truly do have your mother’s heart.” 

His words sprouted doubt and introspection. Why were you trying so hard to get Sylus such a romantic gift when it was meant for someone else? Were you secretly a masochist?

“If it’s alright with you Y/N, I’d love to get to know you. Your mother was my first love, and it’s nice to have someone to talk to about her.” 

You gave him the sincerest smile you could come up with. “I’d like that. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about her either.”

“As for the gem, I’ll sell it to you but only if you promise to love a man who will go to these lengths for you, not someone else.” 

“I promise.” You’d promise to try, at least. You told the man, who you now knew was Dr Jeffery Hunt the geologist, that you needed to get back to work. You exchanged contact information with a promise to catch up later and trade stories about your mom. 

You left the house with the rarest gem in the world in one hand, and an infinitely more valuable picture of your mother in the other. 

___________

You walked toward your office where Luke and Kieran should have been to find the door slightly ajar. You stopped just outside the door when you heard Sylus’s voice from inside your office.

“You sent Y/N to get the gem? Was the task too difficult for the two of you?” You tried to sympathise with the twins, but it was kind of funny to see Sylus berate someone else for once.

“The owner said he wouldn’t sell to Onychinus—” Kieran’s attempt at an explanation was shot down instantly.

“So you pick some random person off the street and send them in instead. You don’t send the girl the gem is for to go retrieve her own present. You have completely ruined the surprise.”

Wait, what?

“No, it’s fine, we sent Y/N not Miss Hunter.”

“Miss Hun— why would you assume it’s for her?” The question hung in there for an uncomfortable moment, after all you assumed the same thing. 

“Her birthday’s in a few days.” Luke timidly added. 

“How do you know that?” 

“It’s in the shared calendar.”

“Fuck.” 

With your ear plastered shamelessly against the door, you smiled to yourself. He had a bad habit of putting personal events in the shared calendar.

“The gem was for Y/N. Thanks to you imbeciles I have to figure something else out.” 

Why was the gem for you? Was it poisonous? You started down at the velvet box in your hand and wondered if the gem was secretly a teeny tiny bomb. 

“Is it Y/N’s birthday soon too?” Kieran’s question offended you. Your birthday was in March and both he and Luke were at your celebratory birthday dinner last year. 

“No, that’s in March. It’s to celebrate her 3rd year with Onychinus. Although now I’m wondering if your time here has come to an end.” It was kind of sadistic, but it was comforting to know that Sylus threatened other people’s job security over minor inconveniences too. 

“No! Please, we promise we’ll make it up to you.” 

You stopped listening to the conversation as you opened the box in your hand. The gem glistened under the artificial lights as questions fired off in your brain. He wanted to give this gem to you? How did he even remember the day you started at Onychinus? And he knew your birthday?

Before you could search for the answers, the sound of footsteps approaching the door made you panic. You tried fruitlessly to escape the long hallway but Sylus stormed out before you could.

“I um, got that gem for you.” You pretended you weren’t eavesdropping and held the gem out to him, but he pushed it back toward you. 

“Thanks. I was going to have it turned into a necklace, but since the cat’s out of the bag, you can decide what to do with it.” He clearly knew you’d heard everything and gave the twins a pointed glare as they scurried out of your office. 

“It’s really too much. Most employers get their employees a gift card or something.” You tried to hand it back again, but he was unrelenting. 

“I’m not most employers, and you definitely aren’t most employees.” The loaded compliment made you bite back a smile. 

“In that case, a necklace would be nice. I have a photo of my mom when she was my age, she wore a necklace with a similar looking gem. Do you think you could find someone who can copy the design? It would mean a lot. I’d pay for it, of course.” You kept the photo in your wallet now, it quickly became one of your favourites. When you passed the photo to him, he looked at it for far longer than necessary. 

“Consider it done, and your money’s no good with me. Save it for something else.” He paused for a moment, took a photo of the necklace on his phone and returned the photograph. “I see where you get your beauty from.” The comment was so nonchalant and inconsistent with Sylus’s usual dialogue that you were left speechless. Your heart battered against your ribcage as if it were trying to escape and mount itself onto him instead. Traitorous organ. 

You watched him turn around and walk toward his office. The sight of him walking away from you brought back memories of that day in the graveyard and what you’d said to Sylus before he left. 

“You can judge me all you want, but it won’t change the fact that when you die, no one will mourn you.”

The guilt was eating away at your conscience, and you knew you had to let him know that you didn’t mean what you said. Especially not now. 

“Sylus, wait.” He stopped just as his hand reached the doorknob of his office door and looked up at you expectantly.

You raked your mind for the right thing to say, and Sylus didn’t make a sound as you prolonged the silence. 

“If you died, I’d mourn you.” And you meant it. You maintained eye contact despite the urge to look away from his intense gaze in an attempt to convey your sincerity. 

He shook his head with a slight chuckle in response, and walked into his office wordlessly. 

You figured he hadn’t given what you said a second thought. It was foolish to think you could ever hurt the impenetrable Sylus’s feelings. You weren’t even sure he had feelings. 

But, unbeknownst to you, when Sylus closed the door behind him, he felt himself let out a breath that alleviated a pressure in his chest he didn’t know he’d been carrying. What you’d said to him in the graveyard weighed on him like an uncomfortable tumour. 

Sylus knew you were right, but the idea of no one caring for him never bothered him before, not until you said it. It dawned on him that the only person who’s idea of him actually affected how he thought of himself was yours. 

Late-November

“Finish up, we have a reservation at six.” At the sound of your boss’s  voice, you looked up from your computer screen. Your eyes were watery from staring at the ledger for hours but you still couldn’t reconcile the $15.70 that was missing. It was driving you insane.

“Was there a meeting I forgot existed?” The calendar looked empty from where it stood on your second monitor. Well, it was empty now that Sylus deleted the shared calendar event for Miss Hunter’s birthday which should’ve been yesterday. 

“No, it’s just us. I’m taking you to dinner. Now hurry up.” You couldn’t help the frown on your face. There was surely an ulterior motive. 

“Taking me to dinner? Are you asking me out on a date?” You were teasing; hell would freeze over before Sylus would ask anyone out on a date. Though, maybe he already had, after all he was busy yesterday…

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re celebrating your third year with Onychinus. As an employer I believe rewarding long-term employees can strengthen their loyalty to the company.” He regurgitated the words like they were toxic. 

“You stole that from the last issue of Forbes magazine. I would know since I was the one who gave you the article.” It was titled ‘Ten foolproof ways to make your employees like you’ and you thought it would be funny to leave it on Sylus’s desk. 

“And I’m responding to your feedback like number 4 on that list suggested. Now, do you want to go to this dinner or should I ask someone else?” 

You quickly scrambled out of your seat, you couldn’t miss out on a chance to see Sylus actively try to be a regular boss. Who could say no to dinner and a show?

“No, no, I’ll go.” You grabbed your bag off of the floor and followed Sylus out of the building. You asked him a series of questions about where you were going, when you’d be back, if you were getting paid for the time you were forced to spend with him, but he answered none of them. 

Sylus was driving for all of 2 minutes before you began to draft an appreciation letter to the inventor of seatbelts in your head. 

“You know, you may be harder to kill than a regular person, but I will die if you crash this car.” Pleading for your life in an expensive sports car was not how you expected to go. 

“It’s a little early in the night for your theatrics, Y/N.” Sylus’s deadpan tone did nothing to soothe your concerns as he turned yet another sharp corner with aggressive speed. 

“It’s also a little early in my life to die.” You unhelpfully added.

“Relax, will you? I’ve never crashed before.” 

Well, there’s a first time for everything. You thought as you tightly gripped the handle of the door. You found yourself suddenly missing the middle-aged man who would grouchily drive you to and from work. At least he drove like he valued his life. 

 _______

When you arrived to the place in one piece you felt severely under dressed. Sylus was wearing his regular attire, a suit without the tie, and you were dressed in linen pants and a turtleneck. Sylus never enforced a business dress code, though in that moment you found yourself wishing he did.

The restaurant was multi-level and sat at the top of a mountain. The exterior screamed affluence and you were sure everyone who dined there was in a different tax-bracket. Sylus reserved a table on the rooftop which unfortunately meant you had to ascend four levels in your mediocre outfit that made you stick out like a sore thumb. 

When you eventually reached your table, you quickly hid in your seat. While it was unrealistic to assume anyone would pay you any attention but your embarrassment was usually irrational. Nor, did it help that Sylus naturally made heads turn wherever he went. He was freakishly tall and unnervingly handsome; next to him anyone struggled to look attractive.

“You’re in a rush. Hungry?” Sylus asked across from you as you buried your face in the menu. You didn’t feel like explaining how being out with him made you feel insecure, so you forewent a response. 

The waiter quickly returned with a bottle of wine. Of course Sylus’s favourite wine was known universally. Why wouldn’t it be? He practically ruled the N109 Zone.

“Thanks, she’ll have a mojito.” Before you could tell the waiter not to bring you your favourite cocktail, he was gone.

“I’m not drinking.” Your protest fell on deaf ears. “Drinking with your boss is like number 1 on the list of things you shouldn’t do if you value your job.”

“You don’t have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of me, Y/N. You’ve done that plenty of times sober.” Sylus smirked as he made the dry joke and you held back the urge to step on his foot under the table.

Never mind. You needed a drink pronto.

“Asshole.” You muttered under your breath.

“What was that?”

“Artichokes! I said the artichoke salad looks good.” You could tell Sylus wasn’t convinced, but he dropped the matter anyway. 

“Order whatever you’d like.” 

“There’s no prices on the menu.” You flipped it around every which way but not a single price appeared.

“Sweetheart, the people who can afford to dine here aren’t too concerned with prices. Don’t worry and order what you wish.”

Aw, how sweet. Sylus thought you enquired about the prices because you were concerned about overspending. As if. You knew that man’s financials inside and out, if anything, you wanted to order the most expensive things on the menu. 

“Jeez, my bad Mr One-Percent.” Your joke was not well received.

“Can we have one night without your incessant sarcasm?” The plea sounded genuine, but it was denied. 

“We could, but that’s no fun.”

“I find you painfully unfunny, Y/N.” You smiled to yourself at his blatant lie. Everyone found you funny. 

Before you could think of a retort, Sylus pulled out a large velvet box and slid it toward you on the table.

“What’s this?”

“The necklace.”

You opened it up eagerly and the sight of it brought pure bliss to your heart. It was exactly like the one your mother wore, and it was even more beautiful in person.

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” Feeling slightly remorseful for your attitude prior to the gift-exchange, you gave him a sheepish smile.

Sylus watched you lift it up to put it on, but quickly interjected. “Allow me.” He stood up, walking toward your seat. Flushed, you clumsily turned around so your back was facing him. You felt goosebumps on your skin when his cold hands bunched your hair away from your neck, the tips of his fingers leaving a trail of wired nerves in their wake.

You took your hair from his hand to hold it up, the mere feeling of your fingers brushing his gave you heart palpitations. The act was way too intimate, and despite how it good it felt to have him so close, your brain knew it was safest to pray it would be over soon.

When Sylus was done he spun you around to face him and shamelessly observed his handiwork. “It looks good.” Your brain short-circuited the moment your eyes met his, so you sat in front of him in complete silence.

The moment was rudely interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice.

“Sylus? Y/N? Fancy seeing you here!” You both turned to the source of the voice to see Miss Hunter in a beautiful baby blue gown. As if you didn’t feel bad enough about your choice in attire. You began to smile until you noticed that the arm linked with hers belonged to your mortal enemy. Dr Zayne. 

You got up to greet them, despite your primal urge to push Zayne off the roof, but Sylus beat you to it. “Miss Hunter, always a pleasure.” You tried not to gag at the sight of Sylus being so gentlemanly. It became particularly hard when he kissed the top of her hand. 

“I didn’t know you knew Dr Zayne.” The comment slipped out of Sylus’s tense smile with a twinge of what you thought was hostility. Was he jealous that she was with Dr Zayne? Were you jealous that he was jealous? Are you in a soap opera?

“Oh, he’s a childhood friend andmy doctor! I’m very lucky. How do you know him?” Before you could whisper to Sylus to make up some excuse, he was firing off information about your personal life to the last two people you wanted to discuss your personal life with. 

“He was Y/N’s mother’s doctor.” Everyone went tense, everyone except for Miss Hunter, of course. 

Your eyes followed her as she turned to you, praying she wouldn’t ask about your mother’s health. Instead, she praised your nemesis. “He’s brilliant, isn’t he?”

You wanted to scream in protest. You wanted to swing a chair into Dr Zayne’s head, and then use the broken scraps to beat him to a pulp. But you opted to force a painful smile instead. 

“He’s definitely something.” You looked right at Zayne, hoping he’d understand the implications of your backhanded compliment.  

“Well, we were just here to celebrate my birthday yesterday, but the hostess said it was all booked out and silly Zayne forgot to make a reservation. We just came up to the rooftop to get some pictures, but you guys should enjoy your dinner!” Miss Hunter’s polite dismissal was the perfect opportunity to end the painfully awkward interaction and move on with your night. 

“Thanks.” You were about to return to your seat when Sylus decided to continue with his commitment to ruining your life.

“You guys should join us, the more the merrier, right Y/N?”

The question you had no idea how to answer only poked at the jar of pent up murderous rage you were trying to suppress. It wasn’t like you were subtle about your hatred for the Doctor, why the hell was Sylus inviting them to stay?

“Right.” You couldn’t have sounded less sincere if you tried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You had to focus on making it out of this building without a homicide charge.

When Miss Hunter happily agreed, Sylus quickly waved down a waiter and made them transform your two-seater table into a four-seater. Unfortunately for you, the seating arrangements somehow ended up with you next to Zayne and Sylus next to Miss Hunter . 

Zayne could feel the hostility radiating off of you in waves, but he was too scared to do anything about it. 

“Happy birthday, by the way.” You offered Miss Hunter the nicety, since she was really the only innocent person at the table. Your unfounded hatred for her took the back-burner when Zayne was around. 

“Thanks, Y/N. I love your necklace, where did you get it?” Yet another question you didn’t know how to answer. If this was how the entire night was going to be you might as well cut your losses and take your chances with jumping off the roof.

“It’s um, custom made.” You avoided Sylus’s glare. 

“Well it’s beautiful.” You couldn’t help but smile at her compliment. Her sunshine-y attitude could rival yours. 

“Sylus knows the guy who made it, I’m sure he could get one for you too.” You glanced at him only to see him quirk an eyebrow at your response. Was he seriously mad? You were practically the world’s greatest wingwoman. 

When Miss Hunter turned to look at him, he quickly shut her down.  “He retired right after making that piece, actually. Something about getting arthritis.” 

He was definitely lying. You weren’t sure why he was gatekeeping this jeweller and you never got the chance to ask. 

“Oh, that’s unfortunate. Hey Zayne, you’ve been awfully quiet. Say something!” Miss Hunter gave him a playful push on the shoulder as she teased him. The sight would’ve been adorable if it weren’t for satan’s incarnate sitting inches away from you.

“Yeah Zayne, how was work? Steal anymore hearts lately?” You asked the deceivingly innocuous question while breaking apart a piece of bread. The double-entendre was like a secret you both shared; though the idea of sharing anything with that waste of space made you inscrutably angry. 

Sylus silently observed the interaction with curiosity. Your passive-aggressiveness was a trait he thought you only reserved for him. You were always nice, to everyone. Seeing you treat Zayne so coldly was like witnessing a beaver play the piano. It was unnatural. 

“Work went as well as expected.” Zayne’s clipped reply left no room for further discussion. The conversation came to do a lull, and you took it as the opportunity to excuse yourself to the bathroom. You immediately beelined away from the table that currently situated your nightmare blunt rotation and toward the women’s bathroom that was positively Zayne-free. 

The bathroom was just as extravagant as the rest of the restaurant but you didn’t get to admire it before you splashed water on your face in an attempt to cool down. There was no way you could last an entire dinner next to Zayne. Maybe you could say you were feeling sick. Probably a bad idea when he’s a doctor. Work emergency wasn’t plausible, your boss was at the table. What if you just ran away? You could live with the shame and embarrassment.

You looked up at the ceiling and silently cursed the heavens for your terrible luck. Seriously, you must’ve been a serial killer in your past life to deserve this fate. It was a never-ending series of unfortunate events, and you were desperate for a break. 

When you eventually left the bathroom, Zayne was standing right outside the door. He startled you, but the moment the shock wore off your face morphed into a deadly glare. 

“Look, I know you think I’m a terrible person but—”

“Monster is the term I’d use, but go on.” You rudely interrupted Zayne. He chose not to acknowledge your comment. 

“I rarely get to spend time with MC and I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t ruin her birthday dinner because of me.” It didn’t take long for you to realise that MC must’ve been Miss Hunter’s first name. 

Zayne ruined everything he touched, he needed no help from you. 

“I’m sorry, does the fact that I’m angry at you for letting my mother die put a damper in your dinner plans?”

“Yes it does, actually.” Zayne responded quickly. He either didn’t understand sarcasm or was an even bigger dick than you thought.

“Then might I suggest you take her someplace else. It’s your fault you couldn’t get a table here. Why should I have to suffer because your incompetence knows no bounds?” You couldn’t think of a time you’d insulted someone so much in such quick succession. Dr Zayne brought out the worst in you, but you could reflect on your actions later. Right now you were at war. 

“We are perfectly capable of having an amicable dinner.” 

You rolled your eyes at his condescending tone. “You might be, I’m not that mature.” 

“Y/N. We’re both adults.” He pleaded.

“Bite me.” 

Before Zayne could open his mouth again, Sylus interrupted.

“Everything all good here?” For once in your life, you were grateful for Sylus’s interruption. 

“No.” You said.

“Yes.” Zayne also said, at the exact same time.

“Zayne you should head back to the table. Miss Hunter's waiting for you.” Zayne didn’t think twice before taking the out and you internally flipped off his retreating form.

Sylus grabbed you by the forearm, his grip tight as he dragged you to a secluded part of the rooftop and away from the bathrooms. 

“What’s going on with you?” He asked the moment you stopped moving, his hand still gripping onto your arm like a vice. 

“Can you let go? You’re hurting me.” He quickly released you, his eyes washing over with something you couldn’t recognise as you soothed the part he’d rubbed raw. 

“Why are you acting so childish?” His question would've angered you had you not been angry already.

“I hate his guts.” The response did not help your case, but you weren’t very articulate when you were upset. 

“What did he do to you?” Sylus’s eyes narrowed, and he spoke in a low tone that was laced with danger. You didn’t think too much of his strange reaction, Sylus acting strange was pretty much the only consistent thing in your life lately. 

You gnawed on your lip, unsure of how to respond. Your grievance against the world-renowned doctor was one you’d always kept to yourself. After all, everyone had nothing but praise for the brilliant Dr Zayne. 

“Y/N, if he touched you I’ll—” Your eyes quickly widened in shock at his interpretation.

“No! Nothing like that. It’s just, a few days before my mom died, a heart came in that was a match. But there was this other guy who was younger and needed it just as badly. The policy was that the hospital's medical board would vote on who got the heart and the entire board, Zayne included, unanimously agreed that the heart should go to the other guy.” They said it wasn't personal, that it had everything to do with survival rates, but there was no way to detach personhood from medicine.

You realised that when you said it out loud, your hate seemed unfounded. “I know it wasn’t entirely his fault, but he didn’t even try to give my mom a fighting chance. He didn't say anything to sway them, he just silently agreed. He was supposed to be her advocate.” The frustration began to boil over, and before you knew it there were tears welling up in your eyes.

“God, I spent every last dollar of my paycheque to make sure she got the greatest medical care money could buy. Everyone said he was the best, but when it really mattered, he did nothing for her. I was such an idiot.” There was an uncontrollable fountain of tears streaming down your face, and you were grateful for Sylus’s decision to drag you to somewhere secluded. 

The familiar tendrils of an oncoming panic attack began to wash over you as you began to hyperventilate. No matter how much you wanted to blame Dr Zayne, or the universe, or your shitty luck, the only person you could really blame was yourself. You sent her to that hospital, you convinced her to hold on for a transplant, you spent her last months on this Earth slaving away in another city instead of by her side. There was no way to get that time back. 

“Y/N, look at me. It’s not your fault.” Sylus’s voice was like a beacon of light that led you through the dark tunnel you were trapped in. He cradled your face in his hands, wiping away your tears as they continued to stream down your face. But when your tears showed no signs of slowing, he pulled you into his arms, his hands holding your tear-stricken face against his chest.

He ran his long fingers through your hair as he whispered everything you wanted to hear. "It’s not your fault. It’s okay to hate him. It will get easier."

You weren’t sure how long you spent with your face buried in his chest, but by the time you’d returned to reality, his white dress shirt was slightly transparent where your tears soaked through the material. 

You laughed a little at the sight, and the corners of Sylus’s lips raised ever so slightly at the sound. When he saw you were okay, Sylus began to speak. “Don’t move. I’ll grab your bag and we’ll get out of here.”

Before he could leave you tugged on the sleeve of his suit jacket. “Hey, I’m sorry I ruined your dinner.” You truly were. Sylus did not deserve to be subjected to yet another one of your meltdowns, but he seemed to have a habit of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

“No it's my fault, I ruined it by inviting them to join us. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Sylus then manoeuvred through the restaurant toward the nightmare table. When he returned with your bag in one hand and the other outstretched toward you, your heart skipped a beat. Or two. He played the role of the knight-in-shining-armour quite seamlessly, and he looked every bit the handsome prince charming. You tried to remind yourself why it was so dangerous to be attracted to a force like Sylus, but when he smiled at you like you were the only two people in the room, all caution was thrown to the wind. 

_____________

In the spirit of making things up to you, you made Sylus take you to a restaurant of your choosing. It was a hole-in-the-wall dumpling place that charged so little one would question if they were serving real meat. But you never found better dumplings, so you took the risk anyway.

The dynamic was completely subverted as you sat on the table that was slightly sticky with cheap cleaning chemicals. Sylus was the one who looked out of place, his suit was unarguably the most expensive thing in the room and it brought joy to your miserable night to see him out of his comfort zone.

“How did you find this place?” The question was warranted, other than you two, the only other occupants in the restaurant were a few middle-schoolers.  

“I used to come here a lot with my friends in high school.”

“Did they all die from food poisoning?” Sylus seemed proud of his quick-witted joke. You gave him a pointed glare to convey just how unfunny that joke was. 

“Funny, but no. We just drifted apart after we graduated.” The clipped reply shut down any further inquiry. You thought back to the fond memories you had in that restaurant. Things were different when you didn’t yet know the cost of failure; before you knew what you’d be losing. And while everyone may have moved on from this small town in the N109 Zone, you never left. 

“Do you even have any friends?” You choked on your drink at the question. He was genuinely asking and the worst part was, you really didn’t.

Your constant struggle to make ends meet and maintain a high GPA for your academic scholarships made it impossible to have a social life. It didn’t help that you went to a college you couldn’t afford. It was hard to find people to relate to when everyone had grown up with silver spoons. Then after you graduated you landed at Onychinus, and it wasn’t exactly a friendly environment.

“Of course I have friends.” Your lie was a feeble attempt to preserve the last of your dignity. Sylus had seen you at your absolute worst, but there was something extremely dehumanising about letting him know you were insanely lonely.

“Really, who?” His genuine surprise only made your insecurity worse.

“You don’t have to sound so shocked. Plus, you wouldn’t know them.” 

“Try me.” Of course he wouldn’t drop it. When has Sylus ever let something go?

“Well, there’s Mr Demir, and Luke and Kieran, and my newly acquired friend Dr Hunt.” In a desperate attempt to keep up your lie, you pretty much just named all the people you knew. 

“Y/N, that’s the man who sells you your sandwiches, my assistants, and a geologist who sold you a gem.” 

“Has anyone ever told you that no one likes a know-it-all?” 

“I think you should get out more. Maybe tone down the sarcasm and you might just make a friend or two.” Your jaw-dropped in faux shock at his unsolicited advice.

“You’re one to talk, your best friend is a mechanical crow.” You snuck a dumpling off of his plate while he was distracted.

“I don’t need friends, they’re unnecessary burdens.” He took a swig of his beer. You thought he’d burst into flames if he drank anything other than red wine, but he adapted to his surroundings with little effort.

You put a hand on your heart as if in pain and jokingly gave him a solemn look.“Then why would you wish such a cruel fate onto me?”

“Because I hate seeing you this miserable, Y/N.” The amusement from your banter died a quick death at his confession. You thought you kept it together most of the time, though bawling your eyes out in the N109 Zone’s hottest restaurant probably didn’t do that facade any good. But for the most part, you handled the death of your mother relatively well. 

“I’m not miserable. Not all of the time at least. Like right now, I’m only mildly annoyed!” You tried to change the topic the only way you knew how, with humour, but Sylus wasn’t budging.

“You take care of everyone but yourself and all it’s done is isolate you. There needs to be a give and take, sweetheart. People don’t like feeling useless.” He spoke to you softly, as if he was scared the timbre of his voice would cause you to shatter into a million pieces. 

There was a sinking feeling in your stomach that followed his oddly specific guidance. He seemed to know more about you than you thought he did, and you were torn between feeling seen and feeling judged. 

“That’s sound advice. Guess you’ve been reading more magazines.” You were grasping at straws, willing to try anything to get the unwanted spotlight off of your inadequacies. 

“You also need to learn how to accept help without downplaying your problems.” 

“Okay, okay. You sound like my mother. Has her soul possessed you?” There you go Y/N. Play the dead mom card, that’ll work. 

He chuckled at your joke. You knew he found you funny.

“You don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“Yeah, the manufacturers didn’t include an off-switch. No refunds, sorry.” You stuffed a dumpling in your mouth as the tension subsided. 

“Oh, I’m not returning you, sweetheart. They’ll have to pry you from my cold dead hands.” While you knew he was probably referring to the value you brought his company as his accountant, you couldn’t stifle the butterflies that wreaked havoc in your stomach.

You didn’t move when Sylus’s car stopped outside your house. 

“Thanks for tonight, I had fun. Sorry it didn’t go to plan.” You turned to him after you unbuckled your seatbelt and the tight confines of the car felt even smaller.

“It’s fine, I liked this version of events better anyway.” His low voice reverberated through the small distance between you, nestling in your heart that was beating unhealthily fast. 

“Me too. Next time you take a girl to dinner you ought to let her know if she’s supposed to dress like she’s going to the met gala.” Your advice had a bitter undertone because part of you still wished you could be the only girl he’d take to dinner. 

“I usually do, but this particular girl doesn’t need a fancy dress to be the most beautiful girl in the room.” The candid compliment made the butterflies do summersaults, and while their gymnastics routine continued, you found yourself at a loss for words.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” Sylus leaned over the centre console and opened the door for you, completing the chivalrous act of opening the door for you in his own unique fashion. He was so close, all it would take was one small move and his lips could’ve been on yours.

“Goodnight.” You barely got the word out through the sudden bout of breathlessness you were experiencing. And when you were finally encased in the familiar four walls of your home, you thought about every moment you shared with Sylus and how different he seemed from the man you knew before. 

The weekend passed by in a blur. The necklace that looked like a carbon copy of your mom’s was nestled on your neck. A permanent reminder that made ‘Operation Sylus: No More’ infinitely harder to achieve. 

Perhaps you shouldn’t have asked him to stop being a dick, because what you thought would be an easy feat was beginning to feel like climbing a mountain with a peak you couldn’t even see. 

You were staring at the list on your notes app on your brand new phone in hopes of searing it into your memory. 

Operation Sylus: No More

The foolproof guide of getting rid of all feelings Sylus related by the end of November. 

Step 1: avoid Sylus and all thoughts of him at all costs.

Step 2: no more funny jokes, his laugh is seriously deadly. 

Step 3: force yourself to remember Miss Hunter in moments of weakness. She’s the one he really wants. 

Step 4: try to find love elsewhere, like the corner shop owner, he may be in his 50s and happily married but he’s kind of a silver-fox!

Step 5: do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be alone with Sylus for too long.

You violated step 5 that Friday when you let him take you to dinner and you were reaping the consequences of your mistake. There was no way you could survive the free-fall if you couldn't get your heart to obey your mind. The disconnect between the two vital organs might be the thing that kills you.

When you heard something shatter in the hallway, you quickly put your phone down and went out to investigate.

The door opened to Mephisto standing on a side table where an empty vase used to sit. The vase was now on the floor in pieces in front of your feet. 

“You did this on purpose.” You pointed an accusing finger at the bird, but all he did was tilt his head to the side as if he couldn’t understand you. You knew he could understand you perfectly well.

The cold war between you two started in your first week at Onychinus when he would swoop at your head spontaneously for no reason. Sylus told you he did it to everyone he didn’t trust and that he’d be over it in due time, but you were too vindictive to let it slide. 

Several back-and-forth pranks later, the bird seemed to have remembered the tradition you managed to forget. “If this is your way of saying you miss me then you take an awful lot after your owner.” Your words faded as you made your way to the kitchen to find the broom. However, upon your return you saw that the floor was flawless and the door to your office was closed.

You rushed in with unparalleled speed to see your worst nightmare; Sylus leaning against your desk in his usual model-like fashion with your phone in his hand.

Panic coursed through you like never before as you remembered what had been left open on your phone when you set it down and the painful fact that you left it unlocked. 

Prayers for a sinkhole to open up and consume you in that very moment went unanswered as Sylus looked up at you with a smirk on his face.

“Is my laugh really deadly?” He looked amused. 

Come on sinkhole. Anytime now. 

When you didn’t answer, Sylus moved toward you. When he was close enough to touch you, he leaned down to make sure your eyes were on his.

“Your deadline is fast approaching, Y/N. Care for a progress report?” The taunting question made heat rush to your face.

“It was stupid, I wrote it months ago.”

“Then why did you have it open?” 

You couldn’t exactly tell him that his willingness to change his cold and cruel demeanour just to keep you as his accountant revived the feelings you thought were long dead. You definitely couldn’t tell him that the necklace that suddenly weighed down your chest made your heart skip a beat every time you touched it. And there was no way you were telling him that the dinner you shared was the happiest you’d felt in a long time.

“I was going to delete it when I heard Mephisto break something in the hallway.”

“Delete it? Guess you don’t need it anymore.”

“Nope.” You popped the P on the word for emphasis. “Can I have my phone back now?” He placed the device into your outstretched hand. 

“So how do you feel about me now, sweetheart?”

You tried your best to appear unperturbed by his taunting. “Mad at your blatant violation of my privacy.”

“Forgive me. I saw my name on your phone when I went to check in on you and I was curious.”

“Mephisto told you I broke the vase, didn’t he?”

“Don’t deflect. Do you still have feelings for me?”

“No, they’re gone. Can we please drop this? It’s embarrassing.” You lied in favour of self-preservation and hoped he wouldn’t be able to see through your act.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Y/N. Many women confess their love for me every month.” You rolled your eyes at his ardent display of over-confidence and narcissism, though you knew he wasn’t exaggerating.  

“Okay, brace yourself there bachelor. No one said anything about love.” It was true, you never said you loved him. Whether or not you did, well that was a secret you’d take to the grave. 

“So then which feeling are we discussing?” The loaded question came out of his mouth so casually, like someone ordering a latte. A display of power that reminded you of just how little this mattered to him. 

Your feet felt like they were grounded in their place by an invisible force and you were sure your cheeks were beet red. You knew your mouth was slightly agape in shock, but you couldn’t even close it. Meanwhile, Sylus was unfazed, treating your feelings like a game. 

“Since when do you even care about how I feel?” The sudden outburst was accompanied by your hand running through your hair out of frustration.

Sylus’s jaw clenched and for a moment he said nothing. There was no hint of amusement left on his features. 

“You think I don’t care about you?” He seemed irritated by the premise, but you couldn’t figure out why. You thought Sylus was proud of his clear disregard for other people’s emotions. 

“You treated me like gum stuck to the bottom of your boot for years. What reason did you give me to think otherwise?”

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that I pay you more than my highest ranking footmen. Or that I had Mephisto tail you when you used to bike to and from work to make sure you got home safe. Hell, I invented the lunch budget when I hired you just to make sure you were eating— I even banned mushrooms from my kitchen in case you wanted to eat here. Not to mention the bullshit extra work I’d assign you just so you would stay longer.” 

Choosing not to dwell on the implication of his silent acts of kindness, you interjected. “Hey, I took those tasks seriously!” The twins thought you were crazy when you asked if Sylus was making those assignments up. You knew you were right. 

“Don’t interrupt me.” Your mouth clamped shut at his rather reasonable request. Sylus wasn’t a big talker, so when he monologued, it was important. 

“Your kindness, your humour, it all caught me off guard. No one ever treated me like you did and I had no idea how to feel. The little doodles you sent back to me on the notes I left you delineating tasks? I kept every last one. When Mephisto complained to me about that time you put corn-starch in his water fountain and almost destroyed his wiring, all I could do was laugh. I treated you like I treated all my men because I didn’t want people to find out that you were my weakness.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, but the pressure wasn’t budging. There was so much you didn’t know about Sylus, so much you completely misunderstood. This revelation caused a series of chain reactions to go off inside your brain and the weight of what he was trying to say felt suffocating.

You dreamed of a time where Sylus would reciprocate your feelings, but the reality of it was more daunting than you realised.

“All my threats are empty with you, Y/N. You’re the only one who gets away with the attitude you give me. You tell me you crashed a car worth over half-a-million dollars and all I could think about was if you were okay. I even offered to buy your house for way more than it was worth just to get you back. Do you seriously think I don’t care?” 

All sound came to a stifling halt. 

“Wait, you were the ‘developer’?”

The inklings of betrayal wove their way through your skin as the pieces began to fall into place. The timing of the eviction notice, the fact that he’d shown up at your house the day you received it, the way he was so quick to agree to the ridiculous bonus. 

He manipulated you like a puppet on a string and let you think you were in control the entire time.

“Don’t look at me like I’m some traitor.” His audacious demand made your blood boil.

“You are a traitor! How could you do that to me?” You yelled.

“You were going to leave me like I was nothing!” For the first time since you’d met him, Sylus raised his voice to match yours. Your entire body went cold at his vulnerability. He was afraid of being abandoned, and that was a fear you both shared.

“Not seeing you every day made my heart feel like it was being ripped out of my chest. I could barely focus, all I could think about was what you were doing, who you were with. So imagine my surprise when I come to find that while I’m being tortured every minute I’m away from you, you needed more time.

“I knew I was being selfish, I knew that your grief had nothing to do with me, but I’ve never been good at putting my feelings into words. That day in the graveyard when you wouldn’t even look at me, I thought I’d lost you for good. It ate at me like a parasite. I had to get you back and I won’t apologise for not playing fair. There isn’t a rule I wouldn’t break for you, Y/N.”  

It was hard to hate him for what he did when you understood where he was coming from. You were two sides of the same coin. While you overcompensated for the lack of love in your life by becoming the ultimate people-pleaser, he avoided it at every turn, saw it as a weakness. But at the core of every human being was an innate desire to be loved and an inherent fear of being abandoned. 

People couldn’t leave your life if you never let them in. That was a philosophy you saw both your mother and Sylus live by. It was lonely and difficult, and if you had the power of hindsight you would’ve tried harder to convince your mother she was worthy of love. You couldn’t make that same mistake again. 

You loved Sylus, that much was ingrained into the flesh of your heart. For all his rugged edges, he had a way of making things happen that was akin to magic. His determination, his grit, it was admirable.

His intelligence was infuriating, you couldn’t get anything past him. If he received the Greeks’ horse instead of the Trojans, you were sure he’d have seen right through their ruse. 

His desire to make the N109 Zone a better place stemmed from a sense of altruism you could only hope to possess. And when Sylus did things for others, he never expected anything in return. 

But for all his greatest traits he had some difficult ones too. He’d hurt you more times than you could count, and even if he’d changed drastically since your mother’s death, you couldn’t quite trust that he wouldn’t hurt you again.

“You already know how I feel about you.” You confessed. It was no secret you wore your heart on your sleeve, despite your mother’s constant reminders that the world was filled with terrible people who’d take advantage of your candour. You chose to see the good in others, it boded better than the grim lifestyle that came with perpetual pessimism. 

“Then why are you fighting this?” His question came out pained, and it was one you could answer. 

“I’ve loved you for a long time, Sylus. I loved you even though you insulted me, ignored me, reminded me I was replaceable every chance you got.

“I told myself it was just how you were, that it wasn’t personal. But when you walked out on me in the hospital when I needed you the most, I loved you a little less.”

Sylus felt an unfamiliar twinge in his chest, like someone took a needle to his heart. He left that hospital because he wasn’t sure you’d even want him there, and it pained him to see you so distraught over a problem he couldn’t fix. When MC came to him with an important mission in Skyhaven, he saw an out, and like the coward he was he took it. If he knew that you’d lose your mother while he was away, he never would have left your side. 

“When you didn’t call until weeks later, when you showed up only to tell me I was being dramatic for grieving, I loved you even less. Every time you screwed me over you made it easier to live without you.”

It hurt to remember the pain you were in back then, the immense pressure of the burdens you carried. But if there was ever a chance of you and Sylus working out, he needed to know the truth. 

“I’ve only ever loved two people, Sylus, and in one month it felt like I’d lost them both. I still love you, I’m afraid I couldn’t stop if I tried, but I don’t know if I can be more than your accountant right now.” You couldn’t survive another heartbreak, that much was for sure. 

Even though Sylus looked like he was going to be sick, you continued. 

“I thought I was okay with you treating me like everybody else, thought I was strong enough to take it. But when I saw you with Miss Hunter and the softness with which you spoke to her, it broke me. I saw that you were capable of being gentle. You just didn’t think I was a worthy recipient of your kindness.”

He was quick to correct you. “That’s not true, sweetheart. Not at all. She has something I need, something I can’t take with force. It’s why I’ve had to adopt unusual methods. If I’d known it was causing you so much pain I would’ve explained. Fuck, Y/N, you deserve so much more than just my kindness, more than I could ever give you. I can’t even think of a person on Earth who deserves you at all.” 

When Sylus saw the tears begin to slide down your cheeks, he resisted the urge to wipe them away.

“I’ll give you anything you ask for, anything but letting you go. There’s nothing so broken it can’t be fixed, Y/N. You taught me that. Let me fix this.” He tested the waters by taking your hand in his and when you let him, he pulled you into his arms. 

For a moment, the room was silent. You listened to his heartbeat through his chest and it might have been even faster than yours. It felt like deja vu, reminding you of that moment in the restaurant, or that time in his hallway after Zayne’s phone call. Sylus was there to comfort you more often than not, why were you so scared of letting him in?

“I want to believe you, I just don’t know that I can.” Your voice was small, timid. As if you were afraid something you’d say would shatter the sanctity of this moment and you’d find out it was all a dream. 

“I won’t stop trying until you do, sweetheart. You’re it for me, there’s no one else.” He kissed the top of your head with a softness you didn’t know he possessed and the words were like bandages wrapping around the wounds inflicted by your own envy.

In the comfortable silence, Sylus made a vow. “I don’t have regrets — you know that quite well — but I regret the way I treated you. I’ll spend every lifetime repenting for my mistakes, Y/N, and I promise I’ll never let anything hurt you again.” He squeezed you tighter and the comfort his warmth brought you was a welcome change to the cold you lived in all the time. 

Desperate to diffuse the overwhelming angst of the situation, you pulled away from his embrace and clapped your hands together. “Okay then, as of today we commence ‘Operation Sylus: The Redemption'.”

His loud laugh resounded through your office, and it was a sound you’d never get tired of hearing. He grabbed your chin. “Have you always been this corny?” 

“I watch a lot of movies, okay? Now, shake on it.” You shook his hand off your face and held out your hand with an invitation that he instantly accepted. With his warm hand encasing yours, you whole-heartedly hoped this operation would be a success. 

Late December

You assumed the dynamic between you and Sylus would drastically change following your impromptu heart-to-heart. But the changes came in small waves. 

It started with the middle-aged man who silently drove you to and from work with a permanent scowl on his face being replaced by Sylus himself.

Then there was the sticky notes he’d usually place on documents explaining the task and deadline, now with an added addendum.

— That necklace was the best decision I’ve ever made.

— Your hair looks especially nice today.

— Did you switch perfumes? I like it.

— That new lipstick suits you. Your lips are all I can think about. 

You saved all of them in a drawer at your desk. 

He had someone bring you your lunch every day and spent your entire lunch break with you. Somedays you talked until your tongue felt like it was going to fall off, other days you just sat and ate together in silence. And every Friday afternoon, instead of taking you straight home, he’d take you to visit your mother’s grave with a new bouquet in his hands. 

You were glad he was taking things slow. His small gestures made your heart flutter without overwhelming you, but it had been a month since your confrontation, and he didn’t even try to touch you. 

While your inexperience with love, lust and romance never impacted any significant aspect of your life before, it was growing increasingly difficult to wait for Sylus to make the first move. He didn’t want to scare you, that much was understandable. But you were growing angsty waiting for him the tension between you two hit a boiling point.

The glorious plan came to you while you were shopping with Luke and Kieran for Onychinus’s annual Christmas gala. It was a networking event masked under the guise of a holiday celebration where the people hiding in the shadows of the underworld could spend one night communicating on the surface.

Every year, Sylus insisted he couldn’t outsource waiters for the event because of potential security leaks, so you, the twins and a couple other of his staff were forced to fill in as the help. Sylus told you that you wouldn’t have to participate this year, but you began to look forward to the event. It was like an unorthodox Christmas tradition.

Your eyes drifted to the costume section of the party store, and when they landed on a short red Santa’s helper dress, you felt a lightbulb turn on in your head. Maybe you had to give Sylus a little nudge.

“Hey, aren't you guys kind of bored of the slacks and the dress shirts he makes us wear?” You sowed the seed of doubt into your unwilling accomplices.

“Duh. I hate dressing like a butler.” Luke’s eyes continued to scan the aisle for decorations. The hall was professionally decorated, but you added your own little details every year. It made things less drab and it gave the twins an excuse to spend hours in the party supply store. 

“What if we went with Christmas themed costumes this year?” The twins turned to look at you with confusion, but they quickly warmed up to the idea when you pointed at the wall of seasonal costumes.

“I’m Rudolph!” They made their declarations in unison before breaking out into an argument in the middle of the party store.

“Just flip a coin!” You desperately suggested, taking a coin out of your wallet and placing it on your thumb, ready to flip. People were beginning to stare.

“I’m heads!” They said in unison, again.

“Kieran you’re heads, Luke you’re tails.” You assigned them the parts of the coin alphabetically and watched it flip through the air. When it landed in your hands, it displayed tails. You silently hoped they would move on from this unnecessary battle and restore peace to your shopping trip again.

“Sorry Kieran, Luke’s Rudolph.” Kieran complained for the rest of the day about how annoying being an elf was, and how, since he was an inch taller than Luke, it only made sense for Luke to be the elf instead. 

They argued like the siblings you never had, and for all the pain and suffering they caused you, there was no denying you loved having them around. Besides, working for Sylus left the three of you trauma-bonded for life. There wasn’t really an out from this unconventional friendship. 

_________________

You failed to remember to clear the costume idea with Sylus before the gala. He was just so busy trying to organise the event, and you were similarly swamped with ensuring all the invoices were sent out on time to the right vendors. You barely saw each other in the days leading up to the big event.

The dress was shorter on you than you anticipated. Coming up just above mid-thigh, it was nothing like anything you owned in your closet. The little hat it came with was cute though and you pinned it to your hair. The make-up you wore was the same as your everyday makeup, barring the eyeliner you’d spent way too long trying to perfect and your lipstick. 

Other than the dress, you really did look the same as you did most of the time. Would Sylus even notice?

Right on cue, a knock on your door snapped you out of your train of thought, and you took a deep breath before opening it. 

As you expected, Sylus looked unfazed by your choice in attire as you moved out of the doorway to let him in.

“I see we’ve foregone the uniforms this year.” His comment was a welcome distraction from your insecurities.

“Whimsy is part of the Christmas spirit, you know.”

“It’s cute. Did you get that dress from the children’s section?”

The question came so out of left-field it left you were stunned. Once the shock settled in, you suddenly felt self-conscious.

“No… Why? Does it look childish?” You couldn’t help the vulnerability in your voice. 

Sylus closed the distance between you in a few long strides, his hands were on you in an instant. His palm was holding onto your waist the other tracing alone the edge of your dress. 

“Quite the opposite, I’m just wondering why they’d make a dress so short for adult women.” 

“Adult women can dress however they want, Sylus.” You chided.

“I know, but I’ll have my hands full if I’m trying to host this event and take care of the hoards of men that will be chasing after my girl at the same time.” He whispered the words seductively into your ear, the hand on your thigh slipping ever-so-slightly under the dress.

You ignored the warm, fuzzy feeling that bloomed through you at the sound of Sylus calling you his girl.

“There won’t be ‘hoards of men’. This will be the third time I’m working your annual gala and I’ve only ever gotten hit on like four times.” You knew from the way his eyebrows furrowed that you shouldn’t have told him that.

“Four times? Men hit on you four times while I was in the room and you didn’t tell me?” He was clearly angry, his rage unwarranted since it happened right under his nose. 

“I didn’t think you’d care. Most of them were like fifty, anyway!” That was true, and every time one of them placed a hand on your shoulder or your forearm, it made you grimace. 

“If men approached you in long pants and a dress shirt with a plate of refreshments in your hand what do you think they’ll do when they see you in this get up?” He walked you back until you were standing against the wall.

He had a point. Maybe it was too suggestive.

“I can change—”

“No. You never have to do that with me, baby. Just stay where I can see you, alright?” 

“Okay.” You felt a blush paint your cheeks. The tension was bubbling up between you. His hand was searing into your waist, his other one moving dangerously high on your thigh. You really thought this would be the moment he kissed you. But then the warmth of his hands was abruptly gone. 

“Okay. You ready to go?” He held the door open for you. That was it? Frustrated at your lack of results, you silently walked out of your house.

__________________

“Did you see Sylus’s date?”

“Of course, she’s definitely the hottest girl here.”

“I bet she’s had work done.”

“If so, I need the name of her surgeon.”

You eavesdropped on the hushed whispers of a group of women who were gossiping in a corner near the kitchen. The second you walked through the doors of the extravagant event hall, you both went your separate ways and you hadn’t seen him since. So much for not letting you out of his sight. 

All you heard about the entire night was his mysterious date and her envious beauty. He never told you he was bringing one, nor did he ever ask you to fill the spot. But before you could completely spiral, you reminded yourself of Sylus’s promise. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. There had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation. 

“Now what’s a pretty girl like you doing working here?” Your train of thought was interrupted by the voice of a man. You turned around, expecting to see one of the many sleazy old men who frequented these events and saw you as an easy target, but all you saw was a young, attractive guy in a three-piece suit. Huh.

“Hors d’oeuvre?” You offered the plate to him in place of a response. 

“No thanks. I’ve had my fill, though I must say, the other servers aren’t quite as easy on the eyes as you.” His eyes shamelessly scanned every inch of you, head-to-toe, and you felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his gaze. 

“Oh, um thanks.” The blush on your cheeks was an unwanted biological reaction, you weren’t used to attention from men within your age range. It wasn't like you thought you were ugly, you were just a bit of a hermit.

“What’s your name, beautiful?” You were about to answer his question when someone did it for you.

“Y/N.” The voice belonged to the man of the hour who seemed to have appeared out of thin air. 

“Sylus, hello. Hors d’oeuvre?” Clearly you were running out of things to say if your default reaction was to offer everyone a snack, but it was hard to find the voice to speak when you saw the girl who had her arms wrapped around his. 

Miss Hunter. You should’ve known. Your eyes passed over her beautiful dress and pinned up hair. She lived up to the rumours, she was definitely the prettiest girl in the room. Next to Sylus the pair reminded you of a renaissance painting. They made sense, and clearly not just aesthetically if he brought her as his date instead of you.

Sylus saw the way your eyes trailed off to MC standing next to him. He saw the self-doubt turn your eyes glassy, and all he wanted to do was whisk you away to a private room where he could show you just how badly he wanted you, and no one else.

But his enemies were in attendance tonight, it was part of the reason he didn’t want you there. Sylus’s only weakness used to be his mortality, and even that was debatable. But now his biggest weakness was tangible, and she wore an adorable Christmas themed dress that made every man in the room brim with desire. Miss Hunter may have been the focus of all the women in attendance, but all the men could talk about was the sexy server in the little red dress. It was driving him insane. 

But MC was a hunter and if he endangered her, she could get out of it unscathed without his help. Their enemies were the same, which made them perfect allies, but it also made their loved ones easy targets. Sylus would never forgive himself if he let someone hurt you. So despite the excruciating pain that coursed through him at your hurt expression, he did nothing to quell your concerns.

But he couldn’t idly stand by and let this man make a pass at you either. It was clear Henry was not aware of Sylus’s newly established no-fraternising-with-the-staff policy. 

“Henry, not distracting my staff, are you?” Sylus directed his attention to his business associate. Henry ran a security company which supplied a large portion of their weaponry from Onychinus. The contract they shared was a substantial source of revenue that Sylus couldn’t afford to compromise. 

“I’m just wondering where you found such delectable staff.” Sylus felt his jaw clench at the way Henry undressed you with his eyes and your consequential discomfort. Fuck the contract, he was going to make that man pay. But he couldn’t inflict his revenge quite yet, so he played nice. 

“Unfortunately my staff are exclusively mine. I’m sure you understand how difficult it is to find loyal help.” Well, at least he tried to play nice. The subtle jab at Henry’s recent whistleblower scandal was a low blow, but he wasn’t above kicking below the belt.

Annoyed and slightly confused by the exchange, you rolled your eyes at the testosterone-fuelled men bickering and cleared your throat.

“I think I’m needed in the kitchen. Nice meeting you, Henry.” You gave him the kindest smile you could muster and gave Sylus no smile at all. It was the least he deserved for blindsiding you with his date. 

“I should check on the catering, excuse me.” Sylus followed you to the kitchen and the second he caught up to you, he pulled you into a nearby storage closet.

There was barely any room for the both of you in there, so you were pressed up against his body. You tried to create some distance between you two, but he just pulled you back in by your waist.

“What are you doing? I’m supposed to be working and you’re supposed to be socialising. We can’t do those things from here.” You berated him quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. You didn’t really need anyone from the staff discovering you in this compromising position. You’d had enough embarrassment in one night for a lifetime.

“Miss Hunter is just here with me on business.” Sylus’s statement did little to comfort the tumultuous storm in your mind. 

“I don’t care.” In a sense, it was true. It seemed your mind didn’t care whether Miss Hunter was there with him on business or not, it still hurt all the same. 

“Don’t lie to me, I can tell when you’re upset.” Sylus tried to caress your cheek but you pushed his hand away. 

“Okay, fine. I’m upset. Now will you let me leave?” You tried to wriggle out of his grasp but to no avail. His hand squeezed your face as he forced you to face him. 

“If you’re upset, talk to me about it. Don’t antagonise me by flirting with other men. It won’t end well for them.” The fire in his eyes swore retribution and you did not want to be Henry right now.

“I wasn’t flirting!” You tried to defend yourself but you knew he’d see straight through your ruse. 

“That sweet smile of yours is reserved for me and me alone.” There was no way Sylus would’ve let that over-the-top smile slide and this was exactly how you expected him to react, but it only made you more upset.  

“Right, but I just have to make do with sharing you with Miss Hunter.” The irony of the situation was not lost on Sylus, but he had a laundry-list of crimes, hypocrisy was the least of them. 

“I’m all yours, baby. I promise it’s just business.” He sounded sincere, and you trusted him to tell you the truth. Sylus never lied unless it was out of omission, but when you asked him a direct question, he never failed to answer honestly. 

“I can help you with business.” You tried to reason, your palm resting against his pounding heart. 

“Not this kind, sweetheart. I’m just trying to protect you. I need you to trust me.” You trusted Sylus with your life, with your heart. Which was why you knew you wouldn’t like the answer to the question you asked next. 

“Did you sleep with her?” The mere thought of it tasted like acid on your tongue. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware of Sylus’s past, but where the other women in his life came and left like the tide, Miss Hunter’s presence was persistent. 

You needed to know just how far they’d gone, even if it might destroy you. 

“Yes. It was one time when we first met in September. Before I realised how I felt for you.” The words pierced straight through you like bullets of radiation. Your palm slowly slipped off of his chest and you diverted your gaze to your heels. “Y/N, you know I only want you. It meant nothing to me.” 

Perhaps it wasn’t the fact that they’d slept together that hurt you so deeply. Maybe it was the way he looked at her, the way she got under his skin. Sylus may love you, but what if he wasn’t attracted to you?

The thought slipped out of you before you could mull it over. “How am I supposed to believe that when you were all over in seconds and you won’t even kiss me?!” 

A hint of recognition flashed through Sylus’s eyes as he realised the catalyst behind your frustration. For some odd reason that he could never figure out, you were insecure. Even though your charm bordered on lethal and your beauty was unparalleled, you still felt inadequate. It perplexed him how someone could look so divine and not be aware of it.

“I haven’t kissed you because I wanted to make sure you were ready, sweetheart. I was worried I’d scare you away, because I’m sure if I got a taste of you I wouldn’t know how to stop.” He sounded strained when he spoke, as if he was recalling his frustration at having to hold back. 

You watched him intently, his words dripped with a desire you both shared. With his body so close to yours, it was hard not to wish he’d just act on his primal instincts. 

“You’re entirely unaware of your affect on me. You have no idea how precarious the string holding me back from insanity has become. When I saw you in that dress, I was sure I wouldn’t be able to hold back. But then you'd look up at me with those angelic eyes and I realise I can’t risk losing you.” 

Before you could even think it through, your desire became overwhelming and your lips were on his in an instant.

It was nothing like you expected, nothing like the chaste, sweet kisses you saw in your movies. It was heated, messy, desperate. His lips ravaged yours like a man on death row devoured his last meal. You felt his desire with every movement and all the doubt you had dissipated instantly. His hands were all over you, one softly held on to your neck, while the other held on to your waist like you might disappear. 

His lips moved to your cheek, your jaw and eventually the sensitive skin on your collarbone. When he bit a particularly sensitive part of your neck, you let out a whine. You hoped he hadn't given you a hickey. His face came up to yours as he looked at your lips which were red from the impact and the desire running rampant in your eyes. It might’ve been the most beautiful you’d ever looked.

“Well? I’m still here.” You whispered against his lips before giving him a chaste peck.

Sylus knew you weren’t just talking about this moment. You never left, even when he gave you a million reasons why you should. He didn’t know what he did to deserve such luck, but he knew he’d never give you a reason to walk away from him ever again.

“We should get out of here.” Somehow you knew he didn’t just mean the storage closet. He shifted to lead you out but you quickly stopped him.

“You can’t leave your own party! What about your date?” As much as the idea of MC hanging off his arm made your skin crawl, it wasn’t right to just leave her alone. 

“She’ll be fine. The only woman I care about is right in front of me, and I want to do so much to her than kiss her in a storage closet.” There was an underlying promise in his tone, and you felt the slightest bit of fear that you might’ve bitten off more than you could chew.

“You’ve lasted this long, what’s one more night?” Your last ditch effort to escape the dangerous situation was unsuccessful. 

“Sweetheart, I can't wait another second.” He gave you a soft, gentle kiss that conveyed his fraying restraint. Your fear felt inconsequential when he was with you, you knew you could trust him wholly with every part of you. 

So, when he led you out of the storage closet and all the way to his bedroom, you never once felt scared. Or insecure. Or inadequate. Sylus worshipped you like you were his salvation and he never once let you doubt yourself again.

Later that night, as you laid in his bed underneath his covers, staring over at his peaceful sleeping expression, you realised he was your salvation too.

Christmas Day

“What’s the surprise?” You asked the same question for the umpteenth time. 

“Just be patient, we’re almost there.” You let Sylus lead you through what you thought was a building while you obediently kept your eyes shut. Eventually your feet came to a halt, and you were bursting with anticipation. 

“Alright, open your eyes.” When you opened them you were in the living room of a charming beach house. It was so bright it took your eyes a while to adjust, but when they did you noticed that it was decorated with splashes of your favourite shade of yellow. The large balcony doors opened to the sight of a familiar beach, and you felt a range of emotions wash over you all at once. Sadness, nostalgia, yearning. 

“Merry Christmas, baby.” Sylus’s voice behind you snapped you back to reality. 

“What is this place?” The awe in your voice could not be concealed.

“It’s yours. I know how much you hate being on the beach, but I also know it meant a lot to your mother. From this balcony it’ll be like you’re right there without actually being there.” He sounded almost nervous while presenting his gift to you, worried you might hate it. But there wasn’t a word that could describe the pure gratitude and love you felt for the man standing in front of you. 

“You bought me a house on my mother’s favourite beach?” The disbelief in your voice was almost tangible. 

“Yeah.”

“Sylus, all I got you was a pocket watch!” You thought that since you were both not very big on Christmas, you would exchange small gifts. Clearly small wasn’t a word Sylus kept in his vocabulary. 

“You gave me so much more than that.” The suggestion in his voice did nothing to soothe your guilt. 

“This is too much.”

“Y/N, you’re more familiar with my assets than I am, if this made a significant dent in my bank account I think you would’ve noticed when I bought it a month ago.” 

“You’ve had this for a month?” The shock persisted, but he was right. His expenses ranged from a box of paperclips to the purchase of a two-hundred-million dollar industrial complex. 

“Yes, I bought it the first time you asked me to take you to the beach after work.”

“But what if we didn’t work out?” A month ago that seemed like a palpable possibility, but now you couldn’t imagine your life without Sylus in it.

“I’d find a way to trick you into taking it anyway.” 

You all but rolled your eyes at the memory of his less-than-graceful plan to acquire your house until you ended up working for him again. 

“Right, of course. You’re quite good at that I hear.” 

“I’m good at many things, I’ll remind you later.” He drawled against your ear, but before you could force him to act on his promise he spoke up again. “For now, there’s one more surprise.” 

You let Sylus lead you out to the balcony with his hands on your shoulders, driving you forward. He stood behind you, his chest to your back. He pointed to a hill on the left of the house where a beautiful willow tree sat atop the beach on a cliff.

“I bought that plot of land too. I don’t want to overstep, but if you’d like, we could move your mother here. Have her final resting place be at the place she loved the most.” His voice kept you anchored as memories of your mother threatened to pull you away. It still filled your chest with overwhelming sadness when you thought of her, but the thought that she could spend forever in the place that brought her the most joy filled you with relief. You didn’t get to give your mother much, but at least Sylus helped you give her this. 

You couldn’t stop the tears streaming down your face if you tried.

Sylus had come a long way from that day at the graveyard, an even longer way from the day you met him. The fact that he grew to care about your mother as much as you did made your heart swell with love for him that expanded every day. Something you didn’t even think was possible.

“She would love that.” Sylus wrapped his hands around your waist, placing an ever-so-gentle kiss on your temple. “I wish you could’ve met her when she was alive, you would’ve loved her.” They were both the strongest people you knew, and it pained you that they never got to meet. 

“I’m sure I would have. After all, I am a huge fan of her work.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you at his cheesy joke. You were rubbing off on him, that was for sure. He peppered kisses all over the side of your face at the sound of your joyful laugh and you had to squeeze out of his grasp to make him stop. 

While you wished you didn’t have to lose someone so important to you to gain another, things always had a weird way of working out. Your future was still murky, but what you did know for sure was that ’Operation Sylus: No More’ could officially be declared a massive failure. And even though the physical hole in your heart still existed, the proverbial one shrunk to half it’s size; and you had the silver-haired man with the stone-encased heart of gold to thank for that. 

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Sorry if you were tagged but didn't get a notif, I think some of you might have your tags off because your blog wasn't coming up for me >:c

[postracehair]

fracture

max verstappen x reader | 3.5k

max breaks his wrist during the first week of the off-season.

cw: max breaks his arm, r is a bit rattled, some blood, a naked shower, intimacy, mentions of sex

a/n: c'mon. you know he'd be so annoying. good thing we love him. [i wrote this before the season ended and then...never posted it. so, here, have it before we start all this shit over again in a few weeks.]

__

You are not there when it happens.

You're asleep, actually, curled up on Max's couch with the cats while he enjoys the first week of the off-season. The celebrations have ended and there is a great deal of work to be done in the next few months, but everyone gets a little bit of respite.

Vacation will come after the holidays. That's the plan, anyway. The last few days have seen you in Monaco, mostly inside Max's place. Just spending time together, relaxing, watching movies, rumpling his sheets. Today, though, he and Danny decided to go on a world-class-athlete-level bike ride.

Which is why you're on the couch. They've been gone all day and you don't expect Max to get home until later. You ran errands, cleaned a little, and then took an afternoon nap.

As you rouse from it, you fumble for your phone to check the time. The screen lights up and you're greeted with --

35 texts. 4 missed calls.

"What the hell?" you mutter, sitting up and opening everything.

DR: sorry for the three calls don't freak out but i think max broke his arm

DR: he says you're probably napping but i'm going to document this for when you wake up

DR: he's fine but yeah that shit is fucked

DR: he says not to tell you he fell off his bike but he fell off his bike

DR: he braked for some animal in the road and went over his handlebars

DR: oh he also scraped his face but he's still pretty, don't worry

DR: his palms are fucked though which is why he's not texting you

DR: we're on the way to the hospital, btw

DR: you're gonna be so pissed when you wake up

It goes on like that. Daniel, to his credit, has given you a play-by-play of the whole situation. You've only been asleep for about an hour and based on the time stamps this started right after you fell asleep.

You get up as you read, grabbing your things and trying to find your shoes as you read. You need to -- you need to go and be wherever they are. You need to help. Heart racing, chest tight, you need to be near Max as soon as possible, even though Danny said he's okay. If this was you, Max would already be there. God, why did you take a nap?

According to the texts, they got to the hospital and he was seen immedietly, x-rayed, and bandaged up. Broken right wrist, Danny had said. He's pissed more than anything.

You're about to call him back when your phone rings in your hands.

"Danny," you say as soon as you accept it.

"Oh, thank fuck," Daniel exclaims. "I thought I was going to have to surprise you in person with the whole thing."

"I'm about to leave, just give me 15 minutes to get there--"

"No, no, no," he interrupts you. "He just got discharged. I'm bringing him home."

You stop in your tracks, one foot shoved halfway into your sneaker. "Really?"

"Yeah, we'll be there in like, 20 minutes?" You can hear Max saying something in the background. "He wants to talk to you," Danny sighs. "Mate, you'll see her soon--"

He's cut off and there's some muffled noises and then Max is saying your name.

"I'm fine," he says. "I only made him tell you so it wasn't a surprise when I came home."

"Max," you sigh, shoulders creeping away from your ears at the sound of his voice. "I'm so sorry, I was asleep!"

He laughs. You feel a bit weepy, which is both an overreaction and cathartic. "Good," he says. "The whole experience has been a pain in the ass."

"You're coming home now? Are you in pain?"

"Eh," he says, dragging out the sound. "They gave me something while they set it so I don't feel it much. Daniel says we'll be home soon. Oh, hold on --" There is some muttering, Danny's voice in the background. "Okay, I'm going to give you back. See you soon, liefje."

"Okay," you say softly.

"Be there in a flash!" Danny says brightly. "Seriously, don't worry."

You hang up and just stand in the hallway, at a loss. Something bad happened to Max and you weren't there. It feels wrong. Not that he's in poor hands with Danny -- quite the opposite. He's probably the only person aside from yourself that you'd want there for Max in a crisis. But, god. You wish you had been there.

The cats weave around your ankles as you pace, waiting for Danny to call or for the door to open or, anything at all to happen. Your mind is running a million miles a minute. Objectively, it's the best time for Max to break something. There isn't even a car for him to test right now and he had at least another week of time off before needing to go back to Milton Keynes. This might throw a wrench in your holiday plans but you couldn't care less about that. How long will he be in a cast? You assume he's in a cast. What kind of help will he need? Will you be enough to provide it? What if he --

Noises in the hall make you freeze and then you hear Danny's voice. You bolt to the door, unlatching the locks and pulling it open. You're greeted with the sight of the two of them -- Danny looking down at Max's keys in his hands, both of their backpacks on his back. They've both changed out of whatever ridiculous bike outfit they must have been wearing for the ride, but you devote your attention to your boyfriend.

You can see the bandages on Max's knees and forearms where he must have scraped himself up on the road. His wrist -- it's in a black cast that runs the length of his forearm. He cradles it to his chest in a sling they must have given him and then you make your way to his face. A few scratches along one cheek, hair a mess, mouth drawn into a frown. A frown that relaxes slightly when you meet his gaze. Your eyes well with tears.

"Max," you breathe. He steps in front of Danny and meets you in the doorway, his cast-free hand cupping your face through the bandages on his palm.

"I'm fine," he says. "You're looking at me like I'm in a coma."

"Sorry," you whisper. "I just --"

He tugs you to him gently, pressing your face into his neck and rubbing your back. You try to be careful of his arm as you breathe deep and will yourself not to actually lose it.

"Guys, can we at least go inside?" Danny asks.

Max huffs and you pull away. He drags his thumb under both of your eyes but doesn't comment on the dampness he finds there. "Inside, liefje."

Danny drops Max's stuff and passes along the documents from the hospital. He's quite the personality but he's all business when he needs to be. "Pain killers in his bag. Call me if you need anything, guys."

You step away from Max long enough to throw your arms around Danny. "Thank you," you whisper. "For looking after him." For calling. For bringing him back to me. For doing what I should have been there for.

He chuckles. "Alright," he says. "Max should break something more often."

Once Danny leaves, it's just the two of you. Max has settled on the couch, head leaning back into the cushions.

"Come sit with me," Max calls. "God, I forgot how much I hate hospitals."

His eyes are closed and he holds his arm gingerly. It's not the first time you've seen him injured -- you've been at his side in the medical tent before after watching him careen into a wall at 190mph. And yet, right now, you're still so upset.

You settle into the cushions on his left side and just watch him.

"I'm sorry," you say again. Max's eyes open. "I can't believe I was asleep when Danny called."

Max shakes his head. "What would you have done?"

"I could have come to get you and take you to the hospital, or just met you there, or--"

He puts his hand on your knee. "Come on," he says. "Don't be silly."

How do you explain it to him? How do you tell him that something happening to him feels like it happened to you? That not being there feels like a personal failing?

"Will you tell me what happened?"

He sighs and you pull his palm from your leg to hold it in your hands.

"It's stupid," he grimaces. "You don't need the details."

"Max."

He folds. Other people in his life have called this your superpower -- Max's will is iron clad. It is very difficult to get him to do something he does not want to do. But one word from you, one soft look, one gentle touch, and he often relents. It's like you can peel back that layer of him that has hardened out of necessity. To protect himself and his heart, to make sure he's taken seriously, to stop things from hurting.

It's like you remind him that it's okay to feel, even when it's hard.

"Daniel summed it up," he grumbles. "We were biking down a hill outside the city and something ran out into the road in front of me. I stopped. Or tried to, at least." He mimes squeezing the breaks, fingers curling in towards his bandaged palms. You stroke his unbroken wrist with your thumb.

"And you went over," you finish.

"And I went over. Got my knees, my forearms, my hands. My wrist, obviously. Just landed badly."

You reach for his face ever so gently, dragging the pad of your thumb over the shallow scrapes on his chin, his cheek. He allows it, knowing that you need to touch him to be sure he's okay. Whenever he has a crash on track you have trouble letting him out of your sight for hours. You just need to look at him, feel him warm and alive under your hands.

"I'm going to write a letter to your helmet manufacturer," you say, not entirely kidding. You slide your hand over his temple and into his hair. It's dirty, you can feel it, but you cradle his skull all the same. "Thank them."

He laughs once, amused with your sincerity. "I need to shower," he says. "But I can't get this wet." You finally direct your attention to his broken wrist, the entirety of his forearm and hand encased in the cast under the sling.

"Does it hurt?" you ask again. Max would tell anyone else off for badgering him so, but he keeps his face soft and reassures you.

"It's strange," he says. "I'm sure I'll feel it later."

"Did it hurt?" you whisper. "When you broke it?"

You know that Max has felt a great deal of pain in his life. His day job requires it -- physical, mental, emotional. He knows how to handle it and get over it. But he's also honest with you, always.

He wrinkles his nose. "It wasn't nice," he confesses. "I knew right away."

You grimace. In the silence, you match your breaths to his and just sit together for a little while.

And then Max's stomach growls.

"Whoops," he says, grinning crookedly. Still an athlete, still a boy with a fast metabolism. You can't help but laugh.

"How about this," you begin, unfolding yourself from the couch and standing in front of him, hands on your hips. Max looks up at you like you're the best thing he's ever seen. "I order some food and then we get you showered while we wait for it. Let the scrapes breathe and keep your cast dry, then we eat and watch a movie and go to bed. Okay?"

"We get me showered?" He sounds skeptical.

"You think you can wash your hair on your own?"

He smirks. "I can do a lot with one hand."

You roll your eyes. "So you're turning down an opportunity to shower with me, is what I'm hearing."

Max gets himself off the couch and rests his palm on your hip. "No," he says softly. "I'm not that stupid."

He kisses you lightly and heads for the bathroom.

"I guess we can wrap it in a plastic bag, or something?" you call after him. It takes a few minutes of opening and closing cabinets for you to find one. You put in a delivery order and make your way to the bathroom. Max has already turned on the shower and you find him shirtless and peeling off his bandages in in front of the mirror.

"Let me do that." He doesn't put up much of a fight, not even wincing when the tape pull at his skin. You see the gashes on his forearm, the raw skin of his palms. "Arm, please." The plastic bag goes around his cast and you tie it at his elbow.

"You planning to wash my hair while wearing your clothes?" Max asks with a straight face.

You stare at him, trying to seem unimpressed. He breaks first, mouth pulling up at one corner before he shucks off his soft shorts and briefs in one go. He pecks you on the cheek and gets in the shower, still smirking at you through the glass door.

"Alright, alright," you mutter. "So dramatic."

You feel Max's eyes on you as you undress, leaving your clothes on a pile on the floor.

The shower is unnecessarily big but Max does not give you much space. The hot spray is at his back and he keeps his plastic bag-clad arm mostly out of the way.

"Feel good?" you ask. Max sighs but nods. You'll bet he's aching but hasn't admitted it. He turns to the side so you can catch some of the spray, too, fighting off the chill outside the warm water.

"I might fall asleep in here," he mutters.

"That'll be the painkillers, darling," you tell him. "C'mon, get your hair wet."

Max tips his head back. You readjust so that you can card your hands through it. You shampoo him gently, taking your time and massaging his scalp. It's a miracle he stays on his feet, but he does. You hum as you work and Max's breaths get deeper, slower.

"Head back," you say softly. He obeys. You do the same with some of your conditioner because you know he likes how it smells.

This shower feels more intimate than the countless hours you've spend in his bed, tangled up in one another. He's been inside you and yet this feels more vulnerable. He's totally ceding control, trusting you to take care of him. You're naked, slick bodies brushing, always touching whether it's your hands in his hair or Max's own fingers reaching for your skin just to feel.

One time, when you were sick, you couldn't muster the energy to take a shower. Max ran you a bath and washed your hair for you, talking all the while because you asked to hear his voice. It's obvious that you'd do the same for him, as you're doing now. It's just how you love each other -- all the way, all the time. When it's easy and when it's hard.

"Danny was right," Max says, words slurring half from bliss and half the fatigue of the day catching up to him. "I should break bones more often."

You finish rinsing him and just stand there in the spray for a few moments.

"Please, no," you groan, brushing wet strands back from his forehead. "If you want me to wash your hair I will, Max. You don't need to break anything."

His eyes flutter open and find yours. He smiles lazily and you turn off the shower.

"If you say so," he says. "Can we take this off, now?"

Bag removed, skin patted dry, comifes on. The food comes when you're settling Max on the couch with a pillow for his arm. In all likelihood he'll manage a few bites of take out and fall asleep 15 minutes into the movie. But he needs the rest, you think. And besides, he'll have you to watch over him.

__

It becomes clear remarkably quickly that Max is an awful patient. You sort of knew this -- he's been sick a few times when you're around, but you figured that was just man-disease. Whining, refusing to sit still. This is 10x worse. He won't let you do anything for him until he's proven that he can't do it himself. You consider locking him in your bedroom to keep him from trying to do things he shouldn't do.

Max just wasn't made to sit still.

But you can empathize -- it's frustrating to not be able to do any of the things he really likes to do. Drive, use his sim, even play regular video games. It's a lot of movies and long walks and leg days with his trainer.

And then there's the way he just won't ask for help. That's a Max Verstappen original and you know it gets worse when he's frustrated. You do it too -- everyone does. But Max wants to do everything himself, wants to prove that he can.

You try to sit back and let him work it out. About a week after he comes home with his arm in a cast, he calls your name. You're in the kitchen, staring into the open fridge and wondering if you should order more groceries or just go to the shops yourself.

"You okay?" you call back. "Where are you?"

"Bathroom,"he shouts.

Ah, you think. Here we go.

He hasn't shaved yet. You've always loved when he keeps his facial hair a little longer. You love the feel of it on your skin and how it lightens along with his hair when you're on holiday somewhere nice. It's more likely that he keep it long in the off-season. Hot races are a nightmare with a beard, he's said. It itches like mad.

"Coming," you call.

Sure enough, you find him in front of the sink, razor in hand and frown firmly in place. He makes eye contact with you in the mirror and even though you can feel his annoyance from here, the set of his jaw softens.

"Do you think you could help me shave?" he asks. No lead up, no hem and haw.

"Of course, Max."

You quickly work out that sitting on the counter next to the sink while he stands between your knees works best. His broken wrist hangs at his side, the other hand resting on the counter next to your leg.

You lather him up, carefully applying the white foam of his shaving cream on his cheeks, his chin, his neck. He's got a fancy razor, one that will probably make it hard to cut him. Still, you feel the way he's basically handed you a blade and asked you to use it on him. In so many ways it's one of the most intimate things you've ever done. Even more than the showers you've had this week, just chatting and washing his hair.

"I'll be careful," you say softly.

"I know." He tilts his chin up, showing you his neck. "Go on, then."

It's quiet work. You're focusing hard and Max seems content to allow you. Stroke after stroke, rinsing the razor in the sink. You keep one hand at the base of this throat as the other works, gliding it over his skin. Cheeks, jaw, upper lip. Chin, neck.

"I like your beard, you know," you say when you're almost done. He waits until you're rinsing the razor again to reply.

"I do," he says, smirking. "You aren't quiet about it."

The last patch comes off as easily as the rest and you grab a damp towel to clean the rest of the shaving cream. Max appears to have relaxed enough to become pliant, leaning into your touch as you finish. He lets you rub moisturizer into his cheeks, eyes fluttering closed. His hand ends up on your leg, fingers pressing into the flesh of your thigh.

"Cheeky," you mutter. He smiles, boyish and easy. You take your time, pleased that he's letting you, but also because you could touch him forever. "Schatje," you whisper, trying to make it sound like it does from his lips. "All done."

Max doesn't move. You frame his face with your hands and lean in until your lips touch. You feel his smile against yours, but he dutifully tilts his head to deepen the kiss. His freshly shaved skin is so soft. You've kissed thousands of times by now, but you can never get enough of him. The way he responds to your every move, meeting your pressure with some of his own. Your tongue with his, swallowing your moans and giving you his own like a gift.

It's Max who pulls away, dragging his lips over your cheek.

"Dankje," he whispers. It means more than that, you know. From Max, it means thank you for dealing with me, for taking care of me, for loving me.

He doesn't think any of that is easy for you. But he's wrong. It's the easiest thing in the world.

[gojo-mochi]

Telling OP Char: “Are you gonna eat that?” And pointing to their crouch

Something silly - Based on that one Tweet

TW: Suggestive

Luffy:

 Says “No” with a mouthful of food, he doesn’t know what you’re pointing at, but he assume it’s food and he will not share that easily. When you point again, trying to make it known to him that you’re not about to steal any of his dinner, Luffy will just get confused on why you want to eat his shorts.

“Are shorts tasty? Should I try eating mine right now?!” 

Will take off his shorts in the middle of dinner, or at least try to until someone yells at him for doing it. You will have to drag him inside a room later and just show him what you really meant.

Sanji:

Doesn’t get it at first, mostly worried about you being hungry first of all. 

“Oh, are you still hungry, dear? I can whip something up for you real quick! Anything you like~” 

What you like is Sanji maybe with some whipped cream on top as well. So, you repeat the question, this time making your point known by running your hand up his thigh and gently palming his crouch. His face gets beat-red and he drops any cooking utensil he was holding in his hands.

“Like right here? In the kitchen? Right now?” Sanji seems panicked and flustered with his questions but he’s quickly approaching you with each question he asked, until your back hits one of the table in the kitchen. His hands on either side, his breath quicken and short as he looks down at you. All you needed to seal with the deal was lean and for a kiss and Sanji would handle the rest. He’ll even let you use the whipped cream on him if you really want to.

Zoro:

Quirks an eyebrow at you and says nothing, goes back to his workout and pretend you’re not there. He was lifting a 300-pound weight like it was nothing. 

“...Can I take your silence as a ‘yes’?”

You weren’t gonna back down that easily. You hear Zoro snort, but his expression doesn’t change. “What was the question again?”

You sigh, “I asked if you were going to- *you point to the middle of his sweatpants* eat that?”

Zoro fights hard to keep a straight face as he counters with “Eat my pants? You’re asking if I was going to eat my pants in the middle of my workout?”

“That’s not what I-”

“Oh no, you meant that as one of your cutesy-jokes, right? What you actually mean is that you want to suck me off, hmm? You want to put that pretty little mouth right on my cock and use your sweet tongue to lick up all the sweat down there and then you want to-”

You slap your hand over Zoro’s mouth, you feel his mouth move into a smirk underneath your palms. Damn it, it was his victory this time. 

Robin:

Smiles gently at you, and closes the book she was reading and placed it on the table. She say nothing to you but just kept on staring at you with that smile. You start to sweat a bit, it feels like you’re in trouble for making this joke to her.

“Umm, I’m really sorry, I-I’ll just go now.”

You turn to leave and just when you were about to put your hand on the door, a set of hands springs out from the door and turns you back around to face robin. Her hands pushed you towards her actual body as she waits at the same spot, leg crossed and that patient smile on her face. 

More sweat beads down your neck as the silence stretches on for what seems like hours. The hands keeps you in place, so you can’t make another attempt to escape.

“..., Robin?”

“No.”

You make a confused face. “No?” You repeat back to her. 

“No, I’m not. So, are you going to finish it for me?” Her tone level and cool, still confusing the heck out of you though. Robin leans back in her chair and uncrossed her legs, lifting up the hem of her skirt with one finger. 

“Oh? … Oh!” 

Well, it would be rude to leave now, right? You gotta finish what you started. And it not like Robin will let you leave that easier, anyway, but don’t worry her hands will also be helping themselves to your body as you start your meal~

Kidd: 

“What..?” 

Kidd looks at you with a scowl on his face. Then down at his pants and then back up to you. “If you want to suck my cock was say so, don’t confuse me with that shit.” 

You roll your eyes, lightly kicking him in the shins for being a spoil-sport about it. You turn your back to him and start leave when you hear Kidd shout at you. 

“Oy! I didn’t say no! You can’t just leave like that! I’m already hard thinking about it!” 

You hold back a snicker and look back at Kidd, fluttering you eyelashes at him cutely. “You have to play along though~” 

Kidd makes a face at that, scowling even harder. He grumbles something under his breath. 

“What was that? You gotta be louder.”

“I’ll show you loud…” Kidd sighs heavily, weighing the options in his head. 

“Fine… No, I am not going to eat my cock, so would you please come finish it for me or whatever.”

“Oh my! Captain Kidd said the word ‘Please’? It must be my lucky day!” 

Kidd face turns beet red as he stomps over to you and throws you over his shoulder. “Shut up, I did what you ask for, so you better be ready to eat all of it.” 

“And if I find a single drop on the floor, I’ll make you lick it up in front of me, got it?”

[thecloudsaremyhome]

☆Yandere platonic cult x reader part 1☆

Summary: you and your friends have been forced to go on a trip to Sweden so they could finish their research paper for extra credit, honestly you were just tagging along for the fun of it not having the chance to go out as much as you’d like to, little did you know your stay at the community would be long overdue.

Tw: religious themes, sacrifice, yandere themes, infantization, death, violence, manipulation. the cult is very yandere for you, mental health issues, panic attack,readers friends are rude.

Taglist: @lilyalone, @stove-top96, @shadowytravelerlover

Word count: 8k

“Come on (name)! Hurry up! We ain’t got all day!” You sigh in annoyance as you look towards your friends and yell back, “I’m coming jeez! Jeez, give me a second okay!”

Your friends look at you with an annoyed expression but shrug it off. You carefully pull your luggage out from the trunk of the rental car you all rode in.

Honestly, it was already exhausting enough having to fly in a plane for 6-7 hours straight and the worst part is, is that you didn’t get one ounce of sleep thanks to your friend's snoring.

So not only are you physically exhausted but you're mentally as well. Just great.

You sigh in relief as your finally able to get your last piece of luggage out of the van.

you close the trunk door and decide to observe the scenery around you. It’s magnificent, you think to yourself.

From the tall yellow-like grass to the crops growing nearby filled with vegetables and fruits.

Then there are colorful flowers of all types surrounding the other side of the field, each being carefully taken care of to the fullest extent.

It mesmerized you To be honest, you've never seen anything this beautiful before, the only extent is the park in the middle of your city and even that can never compare to what you are looking at right now. No wonder people say Sweden is one of the most beautiful places to be because it hasn't been tainted by technology.

The sun reflects down onto you and you can feel the heat radiating off of your skin, but luckily there is a strong breeze to soothe that heat, it's perfect weather today you think to yourself as you continue to admire the fields surrounding around you and your friends, it seems like its endless.

“(name)! Get your ass over here! We ain't got time to dilly dally.” your friend says in an annoyed tone.

You snap out of your trance-like gaze and look towards your three friends, you sigh in annoyance as you pick up your backpack and suitcase and walk over back towards them.

“finally took you long enough.” your friend Mia says in annoyance scanning your form in a scrutinizing gaze, she was always the more moody one out of your group of friends, always having a stick up her ass.

She had dark brown curly hair and hazel irises with freckles littering her tan-like face, she was mostly slender having some curves here and there. “sorry I just got distracted by the scenery.”

you mumble annoyed at her attitude, Mia rolls her eyes, and states

“whatever let's get a move on before it hits sundown I want to get this shit over with anyways.”

Your two other friends Jacob and Cady nod reluctantly cady has long ginger hair with freckles and brown eyes while Jacob has dark brown hair with blue eyes and a more slim build.

and thus began your walk down the fields toward the desolate forest ahead.

“Mia, do you even know where we are going? Did the professor even provide us a map at all?”

you ask nervously having this gut feeling that nothing good is going to come ahead but maybe it's just a feeling.

You haven't really traveled outside of the U.S before so maybe it's just the anxiety of being in new places?

“yes actually i do know where we are going, don't be such a scardy pants and yes the professor sent me the map since I am the team leader.”

she taunts you sigh rolling your eyes at her cocky behavior.

You four continue down the long rocky path which results in you taking a look at the surrounding forest.

The forest honestly had humongous trees well bigger than the trees you've seen before when growing up, which caused the tree's height to block out most of the sunlight.

The rocky terrain your walking on looks worn down like it's been used for years which it probably has. What amazes you the most is how many flowers and wildlife are in the forest your walking through.

Youve honestly never seen so many animals in your life just from being here for liek 30 minutes it truly impresses you.

You occasionally glance at some of the logs or cut-down tree stumps next to the path finding interest in whatever inhabitants are abiding in it.

But you shake your head trying not to get to side tracked while you're here.

You're not here to explore the forest or play with the wildlife your here to work, so that's what you're going to do.

After a least an hour of walking and complaining from Cady you four finally arrive at what looks to be like a wooden gate with two strange-looking people standing in front of it with spears and animal like mask?

Okay well that's very creepy, “what the fuck”

you heard your friend jason mutter in absolute disbelief. It seems he was just a shocked as you but it seems like mia is paying no mind to it as she flaunts towards the gait confidently looking over the two guards and their appearance, you do the same but from a safe distance.

They both seem like males that's for sure from their muscular build to the lack of clothing they are wearing, it seems they are wearing on robes with metal plates on their shoulders acting as a shield.

What you also take notice of is both of them have a wolf mask.

What is even more strange, one of the guards has long wavy blonde hair while the other has short dirty blonde hair. Maybe there siblings?

You shake your head trying to rid your thoughts before you start to overthinking, you refocus back on the scene of Mia trying to flirt with the blonde-haired guard.

Which makes your two other friends sigh in annoyance at her behavior.

You three walk over to where mia is standing infront of the two guards, cady then clears he throat in annoyance

“you done mia so we can get a move on?” mia sighs at cady comments and nods her head

“yes in fact i am done i was just conversing with these two gentleman~ here but they've been ignoring me like a brick wall! And the worst part is, is that they won't even let me in!” mia states dramatically, whining like a puny child.

This causes Cady and Jacob to raise their eyebrow in confusion at her statement of not allowing her inside.

“they won’t? Why the hell not did you tell them that we came here for the research paper? Surely the professor notified the community of our arrival right?” Jacob states in pure bewilderment.

“I don't fucking know I tried to tell them! But nothing seems to go through to them! Like i said their brick walls!”

Mia states loudly which causes you to flinch from her tone of voice which of course your friends don't notice as they start to argue acting as if they arent just talking about the guards in front of them.

You sigh ignoring your friend's argument as you decide to step forward toward the two guards

“Hello there! Me and my friends here are here for a research project on your community, i don't know if you are aware of it or not? But could you please let us in?”

You state nervously, finally the guards look towards you and examine you like your a piece of prey, which unnerves you, to say the least.

But what surprises you the most is when the blonde-haired one speaks.

“So you are the one’s the great one has spoken about”

the blonde man states looking at you with a blank and unnerving expression behind the mask not that you could see or notice it though.

“I-i um yes?” you say confused about who the great one is.

The guards notice this and nod reaching to unlock the wooden gate this of course catches the attention of your arguing friends.

They turn to look at the two guards and you with a surprised look but quickly school it to a neutral one not wanting to piss the guards off.

When the gate finally opens to another pathway straight ahead your friends take this opportunity to push past you and the guards and enter the community.

Of course, this startles you to some degree but you quickly are able to reign your cool.

You then quickly thank the guards before rushing after your three friends.

This action very much surprises the guards having been used to rude and disrespectful behavior from “outsiders” so you doing behaving the opposite of disrespectfully is surprising to both guards but it also is nice that there are at least still some good people out there in the corrupted world outside of their sanctuary, its refreshing to say the least.

You sigh tiredly as you finally catch up with your three friends as they continue to walk down the more clean path.

You all finally make it towards what looks like a town square with a fountain in the middle and multiple other houses around it.

The houses look like they are made out of wood with a brick-like roof on the top of most of the houses. Strange you thought to yourself as you continued to examine the center of the community.

But you finally snapped out of your thoughts when Jacob nudges you in the shoulder to grab your attention. Which causes you to turn to look at him curiously.

That's when you notice the multiple stares directed at you and your friends.

You then look towards the source of those stares and find yourself faced with multiple people surrounding you and your friends, all of them having animal-like masks on.

But what catches your attention the most is the tall lady at the center of the people surrounding you.

She seems to be at least 6 feet tall with her long chocolate-like brown hair flowing down her back with her being nothing but dressed in a pure white dress with golden patterns to it that reaches her feet.

That's when you notice she's barefoot as well.

Strange you think to yourself but you snap out of your thoughts again when the lady clears her throat.

“hello their visitors you must be the foreigners our leader has spoken of, we are enlightened to be in your presence i hope you have a wonderful stay here. I will have one of our members show you towards your sleeping quarters.”

and with that before you and your friends coil question her at all she takes her lead with some of the community members following suit behind her.

“That was strange” Cady muttered anxiously “Yeah no shit” Mia states looking at the community members in a scrutinizing gaze.

You sigh ignoring your friends' spiteful comments, you then hear someone clear their throat which stops your friend's rant.

“if you all are done, I will be showing you to your sleeping quarters.”

you then gaze at the person speaking in a monotone like voice and are met with a tall slim man dressed in a similar fashion to the other community members just with a cow like mask to his face.

Your friends clearly embarrassed clear their throats and mutter a quick apology before returning their gazes to the man.

The man nods approvingly paying them no mind as he starts to walk down the town square, towards where you four will presumably be staying.

You and your friends follow after him at a steady pace.

Of course, you are more distracted than your other three friends, with the agriculture the community has to offer.

This annoys your friends of course but they do not say anything about it.

You four continue to walk down the cement path trailing behind the man. You all start to walk more towards the outskirts area of the community.

after a few more minutes of walking you four come face to face with a cabin-like structure that’s smaller than the houses the community has to offer.

It has a rustic type look with cobwebs poking out on the outside of the porch.

The porch in itself looks like it could've seen better days with some chipped wood poking out with dents on it.

It clearly looks like it has not had inhabitants for years now.

The condition of the cabin causes your friends especially Mia to grimace in disgust.

“Is this seriously what we have to stay in!” Mia states loudly, glaring at the man.

This causes the man to turn back towards her looking at her as if she's a spec of dirt underneath his shoe.

“Would you like to say that again?” he says coldly which causes Mia to flinch as she stutters out “I-I u-um N-never m-mind.”

the man then scoffs but pays her no mind as he walks towards the cabin.

You sigh as you reluctantly follow after him with your three shell-shocked friends. You both stand behind him as he unlocks the door with a wooden-like key, he opens it and motions you all to step inside.

Mia then sighs and steps inside first followed by cady and josh then yourself once you enter you take a good look at the interior presented in front of you.

Its old thats for sure from the rustic interior and the dusty floor all the way to the cobwebs littering the place with broken furniture and a animal like rug placed infront of the living room randomly.

Alomsot like someone didint even want to bother to atleast hide it or place it correctly.

Mia sneers at the predicament clearly unsatisfied with the conditions presented to her. “What the fuck is this shit show?”

she esclaims loudly which causes you to flinch at her loud outburst which doesnt go unnoticed by the man.

He glares at her disapproingly “i suggest you lower your voice and watch your language young lady that is no way to speak to your elders.”

he says calmly but with a hint of annoyance to his tone.

Mia looks baffled by the way he is treating her like some sort of child which of course angers her causing her face to heat up in embarrassment.

Cady and jacob start giggling at her sudden embarrassment finding it amusing that their friend is getting put in her place. You sigh at mia’s obvious childish behavior.

“I apologize for mia’s childish behavior she shouldnt have acted out like that.’”

you say with a tired tone looking at the man waiting for at least a irritated or unbothered response instead your surprised when his gaze softens towards you “oh its alright honey you friends are vert rumbunchs but nothing that we can’t handle”

he says softly with an almost fatherly look in his eyes from what you can tell.

This causes you to flinch not used to nicknames you stutter out an embarsset response which of course he notices and chuckles in amusement.

“your a shy thing arent ya? It’s very cute.” he says in a playful tone which causes you to blush in embarrassment.

Your friends awkwardly stand by as the conversation between you and the man unfolds, Mia then butts in and clears her throat before looking at the man “I think we're fine here its starting to get dark and we still have to unpack.”

she states in an annoyed tone clearly not wanting to be around the man any longer than she had to.

This of course disappoints you having enjoyed the man's company but you push the feelings aside.

The man turns around again to face mia and stares at her indifferently “Very well then have a good night and please if you all need anything, just ask you are our guests after all,”

he says in a dark tone which causes shivers to run up your spine but you shake it.

finally the man exists through the front door leaving you and your friends in a tense silence.

“Well, that was creepy.” Cady says with a nervous tone to her voice.

Jacob nods his head in agreement “Yeah no fucking kidding this whole place is giving off bad vibes and the way they talk to us is patronizing.”

Jacob said in an annoyed tone clearly irritated by the whole ordeal.

“let's calm down okay? How about we start unpacking our stuff and get a good look at this place?”

i say with a skittish tone trying to calm down the clearly pliable tension.

“Fine whatever” cady states as she puts her duffle bag and suitcase on the ground and moves towards the kitchen.

Jacob does the same following behind Cady which leaves you and Mia alone.

“Mia you okay?” I say in a worried tone not used to Mia being so quiet throughout the whole ordeal. “ yeah I'm fine.”

she says in an annoyed tone which causes you to flinch.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Mia as she smirks in response, she then turns around towards the old couches and places her backpack, duffle bag, and suitcase on the dusty couch.

You sigh setting down your luggage near hers as you decide to explore, not wanting to make the tension worse.

You decided on going down the hallway nearest to the kitchen, deciding its the best option to explore first. You could find some bedrooms, This cabin is pretty big after all.

You sigh as you slowly start to trudge down the dark hallway you finally approach what looks to be an old door clearly worn down from the lack of usage.

You reach your hand out to grab the door nob but before you can you hear a loud bang coming from the kitchen which causes you to jump in surprise. You rush back towards the kitchen panting.

“What was that noise what happened.” you say in worry, only for Cady and Jacob to laugh.

“jeez such a scardy pants, aren't you? Dont worry, Jacob just accidentally dropped the pan we were gonna use to cook.”

Cady says in a teasing tone while she playfully smacks Jacob on the shoulder. Jacob sighs, annoyed and glares at her which earns another laugh from Cady.

You sigh in relief “s-sorry just something about this place keeps me on edge,” you say as you try to laugh it off to lighten the atmosphere.

Which of course doesn’t work as Cary shakes her head In Amusement before turning back around to start cooking.

You sigh in annoyance as you leave the kitchen, deciding to at least find a bedroom you can lie in, completely forgetting about the door you were previously going to open.

You walk down the opposite hallway and finally find one of the bedrooms, which is pretty extravagant to say the least compared to the rest of the house.

You look at it in shock, from the pure red blood bed sheets with golden tips to the golden headboard with silver butterfly piercings indented into it.

Then, there's the pure white carpet placed in the center of the room. Finally, there is a wooden closet at the end of the room.

You gasp in shock at how pretty it is before taking notice of the basket of fruit placed directly on the bed. You tilt your head in confusion before finally entering the room.

You approach the basket placed on the bed and finally take notice on a note placed next to it, written in another language.

Whatever you think to yourself as you decide, you should show the rest of your friends the basket.

“Hey guys I found this basket in one of the bedrooms!”

You say as you finally enter the kitchen, which causes Cady and Jacob to turn their heads towards me in curiosity. “Oh, you did What's in it? Let me see,”

Jacob says as he snatches the basket from your hands and searches through it.

Cady sighs in annoyance at his eager behavior.

“Damn it theirs nothing interesting in here just a bunch of fruit and crap.” jacob sighs in annoyance and throws the basket back towards me which causes me to stumble and catch it.

Cady glares at jacob “ stop being an ass jacob” jacob rolls his eyes and mumbkes a whatever before getting back to cooking with cady.

You sigh as you exit the kitchen and enter the living room. You place down the basket next to Mia.

you notice her annoyed expression. “Whats wrong Mia?” mia look towards you and shakes her head in defeat “i cant get any damn service out here!”

you chuckle at her whining behavior in return she pouts towards you but finally takes notice of the basket next to you both “whats that?” she says as she points towards the basket.

“It's just something I found in one of the bedrooms I came across while exploring i dont think it has anything interesting in it all it has is fresh fruit.”

Mia sighs and nods before standing up to grab her backpack and open her laptop and grab her papers.

“since dinner's cooking do you wanna help me fill out these papers, the professor said we had to document everything so might as well start.”

you nod your head in agreement mumbling a sure before being handed a few papers to help fill out.

Finally, for what seems like an hour, cady comes back towards you both to inform you guys dinner is ready which causes you and Mia to sigh in relief.

You both make your way towards the kitchen, which has four plates of pasta placed out on the counter for you all to grab you and mia mutter a thanks as you make you way back towards the couch to coutinue your work, which leaves Cady and Jacob to eat together.

After three more hours of work you and mia finally completed the worksheets needed for today sighing in relief you then state

“I’m going to go and get ready for bed ill see you tommrow mia, dont try and overwork yourself okay? You need to get rest as well since we have a busy day tomorrow.”

mia sighs in annoyance at your worry and nods “yeah yeah dont worry about me just get to bed sleepy head”

you sigh at her nickname and nod your head in amusement as you rab your luggage from the couch and make your way to one of the bedrooms in the cabin.

You pass Jacobs and Cady's room, them having already fallen asleep beforehand.

You finally approach the bedroom you explored beforehand, having decided you'll just sleep in there for the night.

But before you can enter, you hear a strange noise coming from inside,which causes you to halt in your footsteps.

Suddenly, you feel like you're being watched, which causes a shiver to go down your spine. You shake off the feeling before finally entering the bedroom again.

You place down your luggage next to the wooden closet. You sigh as you crouch down next to your suitcase and open it to grab a fresh pair of pajamas and your medication for the night.

You finally finish changing as you hop into bed, laying down on the plush pillows You reluctantly try to fall asleep.

You still feel like you're being watched, but this time, you can't brush the feeling off, which heightens your anxiety.

But after an hour of staying awake, you finally fall asleep only to be woken up again by the noise of the door to the bedroom being opened, which causes you to freeze, you then hear quiet footsteps approach your bed which causes you to hold your breath silently.

You then feel a cold hand on your forehead caressing you like a parent would to your child as the figure starts to hum a soft lullaby which reluctantly causes you to drift back asleep.

But before you fall asleep you hear one last word from the person “dont worry baby youll be home soon.” but before you can process the words you fall asleep.

You yawn as you open your eyes to the sun drifting into the room through the slightly cracked window placed next to your bed.

You rub your eyes in exhaustment as you sit up to look around in the room. What catches your attention though is the piece stuffed animal placed next to your bedside table.

You widden your eyes at the plush lamb finding it absolutely cute your carefully pick it up and inspect it before placing it down on your bed deciding to keep it.

You stand up from the bed ad yawn walking towards your suitcase to grab your clothes.

You finally finish changing and step out of your bedroom as you walk towards the kitchen were jacob and cady are up conversing while mia is doing her makeup in the living room.

“Hey sleepyhead did you sleep well?”

cady says in amusement which causes you to nod hesotantly still thinking abou the events that happened last night.

“well we got a busy day today so you better be prepared to walk alot!”

jacob says as he bites out of a piece of bacon presented on the counters which you nod in agreement.

Mia finally exits the living room “are you guys ready to go? I already have the gear ready so we can document.” you, cady and jacob nod in agreement.

You then go towards the living room to grab some of the gear with the help of Jacob and cady.

You all then exit the cabin and walk down the same long pathway towards the town square of the community.

You sigh in relief as you all finally enter the twon square which causes the commonity members to stare at you all as you enter.

“what’s first on the list of stuff we have to do?” you ask in curiosity “well first we have to gather information on the resources they grow and make here so maybe we hould interview some of the farmers first?”

mia says qustionly, you nod your head in agreement. Jacob and Cady also nod their head, agreeing with Mia.

“alright then, off to the fields we go!” mia says as she approaches a female wearing a lamb mask. “excuse me Ms. if you dont mind could you point us in the direction of the feilds were the farmers work?” mia asks confidently which causes the female to nod and point ahead downanother path.

Mia mutters a thank you and walks off. You three follow behind her as you examine your surroundings.

But you can't help but feel like you're being watched again, which causes you to look around frantically, paranoia creeping up on you.

Finally, after a long walk, you four make it to the grass fields were some community members farm fruit and vegetables. This amazes you, to say the least, on how much effort these people put in to keep the community afloat.

“Okay, (name) you can stay here while we go and interview some of the farmers. Don't wander off, okay?”

You nod in agreement as your friends walk ahead and leave you on your own. But something catches your attention.

A community member struggling with a basket of fruit. You rush over to help her with the basket as you help her put it down.

Then you take notice of how old she looks and a worry look crosses your face.

“oh well thank you dearie for the help my old back hasnt been like it used to be when i was younger.” the woman says in a motherly tone smiling warmly at you behind the tiger mask over her face.

“Its no problem, ma’am im just glad i could help. Is your back okay?” you say in a worried tone. Which causes her to chuckle in amusement. “Oh, im perfectly fine dearie ive been through worse but i do appreciate your help this is the first time outsiders have been as nice as you.” you stare at her in confusion at her statement which causes her tone to turn solemnly.

“we haven’t had the best experience with outsiders as a whole. There have been few that have been here before hand that werent the nicest but of course, we took care of them!”

you look at her sympathetically, but her last sentence catches you off guard. What could she have meant by that? But before you could ask her, she was already walking away.

You sigh in annoyance but shrug it off, deciding to sit down in the grass fields and wait patiently for your friends to return. Hopefully, they’ll be back soon, you think to yourself as you gaze up at the sun.

fiddling with the dandelion in your hand as you slowly start to doze off. But before you could fully fall aslee,p you feel a small tug on your shirt.

And you're surprised to be faced with a child no older than 6 sitting next to you and fiddling with your shirt. You hadn't even heard him approach you. But you smile softly at him, which causes the little boy to flinch.

From what you can tell, he has strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes with the same white dress that you see all the other members wear he also wears a bird like mask on his face.

“hi, little one do you need something?” you say in an affectionate tone.

You always did have a soft spot for kids. He looks up at you in wonder before muttering, “I... I like your s-shirt,” he says timidly, which causes you to soften your gaze at his timid nature.

You carefully pick him up and set him in your lap.

He continues to fiddle with your shirt as he cuddles against you, which causes you to chuckle as you comb your fingers through his silky soft hair.

He cuddles closer to you before finally falling asleep. The scene just looks to serene and feels so peaceful.

You don't remember the last time you felt like this. Felt at peace.

But of course that peace has to be interrupted at some point as your about to close your eyes, you hear the talking if your friends as they approach you.

I guess they finished you think to yourself.

The noise causes the little boy to wake up in confusion but when he sees your friends approaching his grip on your shirt tightens as he galres at them This suprises you of course.

Your friends stop in their tracks as they quietly wisper to each other but to break the tense silence,e you wave them over.

They hesitantly approach causing the little boy to glare even more,e but he still grips onto your shirt.

“hey guys, are you done doing interviews with the farmers?” you say hesitantly trying to ease the tension forming. “yeah, we finished.” Jacob says sharply, and you can sense hes on edge, which causes you to furrow your brows in concern.

“Did something happen? You all seem..tense.” you say in concern as you inspect them. “Well-” but before Jacob could finish what he was saying Mia interrupted him sending a glare to jacob “nothing happened, so you dont need to worry now lets continue our interview so we can get it done before the so-called banquet we were invited to tonight.”

Mia says in a snipped tone clearly not wanting to waste any more time. You flinch at her harsh tone and nod reluctantly in agreement.

Your flinch doesn't go unnoticed by the little boy though as he glares even harder at your friends.

Of course, this goes unnoticed by you, but your friends do clearly notice and their shoulders tense at the harsh glare the boy is receiving to them.

You grab the little boy and place him off of your lap and stand up and dust the grass off your clothes. This causes the boy to pout behind the mask, having wanted to stay next to you a little more longer. But he doesn't voice this because he doesn't want to upset you, you ruffle his hair as you turn to face your friends as you happily converse with them.

But unnoticed to you the boy is having an inner turmoil of his own. Why do they have to capture your attention.

You shouldnt even be looking in their direction your friends are just a waste of space, not worthy of your presence because your his, his sister and he would be damned to let these insects ruin that.

Mama always have said outsiders are nasty people and now hes starting to believe it. But he hopes you can stay here forever with him and the community. Hes sure youd be very very happy.

Plus it's not like you’d miss your own boring life anyways right? You could have everything you need here. A loving community that is ready to do whatever it takes to keep you. And he hopes that that's what his community decides to do. Because he wants you to stay no matter what it takes.

You're extremely tired after four long hours of interviews and interactions with the other community members, you're finally glad the banquet came around the corner faster than expected because you were starting to grow extremely hungry.

Of course you weren’t the only one you noticed how antsy Jacob has been getting, clearly he’s hungry as well.

But the strange is that the little boy from earlier has been following you like a lost puppy which is cute of course but it still bothers you that his parents havent come looking for him at all and when you asked him he just said

“mama and papa are just busy! But thdey know im safe!” which of course has you smiling in relief but you still held that sense of worry.

As the hours stretched on your finally learnt his name, it was Abner. It was a cute name to say the least. But back to the present at hand, you four finally finished all interview needed for the first day and were getting ready for the banquet at 9:00. Which of course, Mia told us we had to dress “presentable” whatever the hell that means.

Of course, you didnt pack anything presentable to her standards so you opted for a black dress shirt and some formal pants with sneakers.

You sigh in contempt as you finally finish brushing out your hair and styling it.

You then exit your room. Then head towards the living room to wait for the rest of your friends to finish getting ready. You then spot jacob already dressed and ready to go as he scrolls on his phone.

Your smile softens when yo see him you then take a seat next to him on the old couch. He notices your presence and smirks “ look at you all fancy looking you look hot.” he jokes as you nudge him in the shoulder, playfully muttering a shut up.

After 30 more minutes of waiting Mia and Cady finally enter the room in ruffles dresses and high heels you sigh and roll your eyes at their so called “presentable outfit” “that’s what you all are gonna wear its not a ball you know?” you say jokily which earns you a galre from Mia and a scoff.

You chuckle again, putting your hands up in mock surrender but before mia could respond cady cuts in.

“stop teasing okay? We have to get a move on so we wont be late we are meeting with the leaders of this so called community. So we have to make a good impresion so we can get as much information as possible so we can pass this extra credit.”

Cady states sternly which causes you all to nod your heads reluctantly in agreement. Not wanting to argue any further you and jacob stand up and make your way to the front door ready to go, cady and mia follow behind you two.

You four exit the cabin and make you way down the path leading towards the community center. You look up towards the moon shining down on all of you.

You’ve always been fascinated by the moon and how it reflects. In your opinion, you say its absolutely beautiful everything about this place is beautiful

Finally, after minutes of walking, you all arrive at the community center and walk towards another pathway leading towards the great hall, an imposing structure that is made out of wood.

After 5 minutes of walking, you all finally arrived at the entrance of the great hall You can see the light peeking out from the large imposing door.

You four walk up the wooden stairs, and Jacob opens the wooden door allowing you three to enter in first.

Mia goes in first then cady, then you as you finally enter the great hall you are in awe at the scenery and design of the place.

From the flower decorations hung up on the walls to the candles and fruits then their is white tablecloth placed on the tables with a bunch of fresh food.

From chicken and beef to vegetables and fruit. All sorts of varieties littered the table which makes your mouth water and your stomach grumble in hunger.

You then take notice of the statue of a naked man standing at the end of the room with a large star like window placed behind him.

It's amazing how people who only depended on natural resources could make all of this happen.

Then you noticed the hundreds, maybe thousands of stairs boring into your back. You look around, finally noticing the community members are not only staring at your friends but specifically at you. Which creeps you out, to say the least.

But what shocks you even more is the 6 imposing figures placed infront of the imposing statue placed infront of the star window. To say they are intimidating is an underestimating it, they loom absolutely terrifying.

But one of the members you recognize as the pretty lady from yesterday which makes you widen your eyes in shock. She catches your gaze a smiles softly standing up to approach you.

You stagger back in shock to shocked to speak “hello its nice to see you again foreigner i would like to request that you join us for supper our leader would like to formally meet you as well as our officials.”

You look at her in shock but realize that you don't have any room for argument, noticing the serious tone her voice holds.

So, with a heavy heart, you nod in agreement, which causes her to light up and smile warmly. She grabs your arm and pulls you forward which causes you to stagger back.

But you reluctantly follow her to the table she pulls the chair out for you and allows you to sit down next to a very tall man. She then takes her seat next to you

“our leader will be here very soon so please dont mind his tartiness. Oh! I never got to introduce myself! My name is Ezra! Whats your name little one.” you pause deciding whether or not it would be a good idea to tell her but you decide to.

“My name is (name).” you say timidly, which causes the female to coo at your shy nature. Which causes you to blush in embarrassment with earns a chuckle from the other 5 officals. Which makes you blush even more in embarrassment.

But before you could respond a the great hall door slams opens as the gaurds from yesterday are stationed next it, bowing to what seems like a very large man maybe 7 feet tall? With long dark white hair that looks almost unnatural, he is wearing something totally different a robe with golden pattern designs with black dress shoes with golden designs as well.

He wears a bear mask, and from what you can tell, he is very muscular and has baby-blue eyes.

This unnerves you, to say the least. He's very intimidating, with a golden robe hanging off the side of his shoulder, and his steps seem precise and planned.

This also unnerves your friends as they glance nervously at you. But you notice the man is staring right at you. His eyes bore into your very soul with an intensity that is so extreme that it makes you uncomfortable. What is his problem?

You think to yourself, nervously picking at your skin as the man approaches with steady footsteps, as all the community members stand up to bow before his presence like he's some sort of god.

This unnerves you even more as his eyes continue to bore into you, analyzing every twitch and breath you make.

Finally he arrives at your table, standing right infront of you, ezra then stands up and bows the official sitting on the right of you does the same thing so does the other four officials.

But he doesn't respond to their formal behavior as he continues to stare at you motionlessly as you anziously pick at your skin.

He then reaches out and imoblizes your wrist from continuing to pick at your skin this leaves you in shock as you freeze in anxiety.

You can clearly see the size difference between the two of you. His hand can fit fully around your wrist like he could easily snap it at any time which scares you to say the least.

His intimidating frame adds even more to the tense atmosphere “ dont do that anymore child; you'll hurt your delicate skin, and we dont want that do we?” he says in a very soft tone which surprises you to say the least, not expecting his voice to sound so soft and velvety.

Which comforts you to some extent that hes not trying to intentionally scare you.

But he keeps a form hand on your wrist letting you know that he won't be letting go of it any time soon.

“I-i just do it out of habit i cant really control it sometimes when im really anxious.” you mutter timidly, not daring to face his gaze as he stares intently into you.

His gaze softens slightly, and he rubs circles into your wrist to soothe your growing anxiety.

Which doesn't exactly work as you can still feel him staring into you, including all the community members and your friends.

You’ve never liked being the center of attention so you're surprised you haven't gone into a full blown anxiety attack right now.

Maybe it's the way he's trying to ground you that prevents that from happening. You don't know, and you don't care you just want to get this over with so you can get back into that comfy bed and sleep.

But before you can dwell on the thoughts plaguing your mind you feel the mans hand let go of your wrist. He turns around to look at everyone else with a calculating look before that look softens to a more serene expression. “ let the feast begin!” he shouts.

He then walks over towards the seat standing right next to the statue. The chair looks more like a throne than anything with its golden pattern designs and the red velvet texture to it, you would think a king would sit on it.

You sigh as you snap out of your thoughts when a plate of food is placed infront of you with apple juice? The food looks absoulty delicious on your part.

From the perifcally roasted beaf with mash potatoes and vegetables on the side to the white rice with chicken in it. Damn you mutter under your breath as your mouth starts to salvate.

But then you take a look around and notice all the adults oncluding your freinds got some type of alcoholic beverage but you just got apple juice.

Thats weird you think to yourself but shrug it off not wanting to dwell on something not worth your time.

You start to dig into your food quickly which causes ezra to chuckle in amusement a she Coos at you.

“Don't eat so fast honey, we don't want you to choke do we?” this causes you to blush I. Emmbaresment putting your hea down in shame which causes her to chuckle even more. But when you took a sip of th apple juice it tasted very sour.

Which is weird but you shrug it off not bothering to worry about it but before you could take another bite, the chattering decreased in the great hall as the leader stans up to approach the center of the room, this of course catches your attention instantly.

“Brothers, and sisters daughters and mothers, fathers and sons tonight our banquet has been honored by the cesilatial god himself to bestow us and our community a blessing and so to thank him we will preform our ceremonial sacrificial ritual for our god and our guests as a thanks.”

he says in a soothing tone and you can tell his voice has a deep effect on these people her from their adoring looks to their devotion you can feel radiating off of them. It awes and unnerves you at the same time.

But what do they mean by a sacrafical ritual?

You think to yourself as you anxiety starts to grow. You look towards you friends who are sitting at a table near you and you also notice their anxious expressions.

But before you could dwell more on your thoughst the great hall door opens as two of the guards carry in a struggling woman.

Which makes you widen your eyes in shock and horror. The guards put down the woman oto the cement like structure of the statue and tie her in place.

Then you notice another community member come in with a large tray of candles a book and a dagger.

This unnerves you even more as you start to shakinly pick at your skin from the growing anxiety creeping up onto you.

What the fuck…what the fuck are they going to do to that poor woman. You think to yourself as you stare in horror at her as she screams and struggles and pleads.

This causes you to close your eyes and put your hands over your ears. You take shaking breaths as you feel an oncoming panic attack. But of course your friends don’t notice or are to shocked to care.

You return you sight to the scenes I front of you as the woman pleads but it falls on death ear as the leader grabs the dagger from the tray

“låt dem vara ljusa och låt vår gud ge dig gåvan av evigt stycke unge” he says to the woman before impaling the dagger in her lower stomach then into her right breast and finally into her forehead the blood from the stand leaks out of her lifeless limp body onto the floor.

You feel like your going to throw up as the community members stand up to clap in celebration like what he did was completely normal.

And you can’t hold it back anymore you dip down and realealse all what was in your stomach to begin with. You gag at the smell and pant feeling tears rolling down your eyes. Then you notice everyone is looking at you now again.

You need to get out of here now you think to yourself as you eyes look up towards your friends who are as equally shocked and disturbed at what took place.

But before you could say or do anything you feel the tightening hold of Ezra rubbing your back soothingly this disturbed you even more at how calm she could be when just witnessing a murder!

You can’t seem to wrap your head around it and your heart is pounding so fast you think you’d have a heart attack any second and maybe that would be for the better because you don’t know what’s going to happen next and you don’t want to find out.

You just need to get out of here now no matter what it takes you refuse to die.

Authors note: y’all I work so hard on this sooo please comment and like a lot I would like this to reach at least 1,000 likes that would be the world to me and I definitely am going to make part 2 which is way more darker and that’s where the more intense Yandere behavior comes in!

[mxrcurysb1tch]

☾𖤓 🌘 Astrology observations pt. 5! 🌒☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐

Hey guys!! Sorry I literally never post I’m so lazy lol… anyway here’s another one for ya 🫶 Take what resonates, leave the rest xo

-‘๑’- Having Mars square Neptune aspect can indicate difficulties with figuring out your sexuality or just sexual confusion in general, also fluctuating s*x drive or in some cases no interest in s*x at all, maybe asexual, especially if placed in earth and air signs.

-‘๑’- Sun/moon square ascendant can create inconsistencies in the way that the native thinks about themselves and the way that they express this and come across to the world. People may constantly make assumptions about you that may leave you confused about who you are (especially if it is mutable signs that are involved). The effect is especially pronounced if it is the sun that is involved and your mercury is in a different sign.

-‘๑’- Saturn conjunct Venus in the natal chart can indicate issues with setting/respecting boundaries in relationships or putting up too many boundaries. Issues with sharing yourself fully, over cautiousness or feeling restricted in relationships.

-‘๑’- Pisces placements and not caring to fuss over the details. I’ve noticed that all of the Pisces placements I know don’t really care to plan stuff for their birthday or put in too much time to really work out the fine details, and it kind of just works out for them anyway.

-‘๑’- 12h planets and not seeing those qualities in yourself. Sometimes people see them in you but they flip it and demonise it. Let’s say you have the sun there, you may not see how you shine, but others definitely can and they feel threatened by you. It can make you feel powerless sometimes.

-‘๑’- Sun opposite moon is having two forces within you that are essentially the same but express themselves in totally different ways, giving you a kind of contradictory personality that seems to just work anyway. Sometimes it can be confusing for you though to balance the energies. Let’s say you’re a Sagittarius sun with a Gemini moon. You may be constantly overthinking, worrying about what others think etc but you are actually just kind of chilled out and have a ‘go with the flow’ vibe at the same time.

-‘๑’- 8h mercury and reading minds…. Like they just know what you’re thinking… also Scorpio mercury too to a degree.

[endearng]

Loner to lover

Pairing: young!Spencer Reid x professor!reader Summary: Running away from your problems is said to be irresponsible, but it just might lead you to where you need to be; to whom you must be with and, utterly, to the one you're supposed to be. WC: 10.1k Warnings: jealous spencer (a warning of its own) unspecified age gap; infidelity; smut in the form of soft and vulnerable sex between two virgins - (p in v), creamp*e (sorry), softdom!spencer, dacryphilia if you squint. Let me know if I missed anything. A/N: I had to use the frightening 'L/N'. Sorry sorry sorry. Also I just know Spencer is a little shit when encouraged so... he's a bit insistent here............ anyways I love this do much and I hope you enjoy reading it as well. | Masterlist

Spencer remembers the time when you first met. The reason, happenstance and the enormous range of mixed feelings that it brought him.

Early twenties. Collecting BAs for fun. Dr. Spencer Reid thought of a social life second, third, fourth... whatever position behind his education. His responsibility and intelligence were mere details compared to his application to his studies, which was a trait that made him singular to every single one of the professors whose classes he chose to take. Quick and smart remarks, useful contributions, thought-provoking ideas, you name it; there wasn't a single good student expectation that Spencer couldn't meet. In the academic world, the young man was highly recommended and wanted by any and every superior who wanted a good insight on their research, and that was saying a lot — society's greatest minds would compete for that brilliant brain in hopes to have his attention and participation on their projects. Spencer Reid, to his colleagues, was a walking experiment: that guy was able to keep up with his classes, the research programs he was invited to be a part of (they were jealous of this particular information, because they had to almost literally fight their way into a internship) and, on his free time, he had the nerve to feed his curiosity and come up with even more ideas of his own.

A brilliant, lonely heart amidst a crowded sea of people who were mainly too focused on themselves to notice him, unless it was to compare themselves to the absolute success he was among the academic world.

Given his mild demeanor, it is no surprise that his professors would trust him anything and that he easily won their hearts over — he remembers attending dinners at their places when they were particularly close to him; Spencer was not a stranger to a safe proximity to his mentors, after all, they were his only friends. So, it was with a dreadful surprise that he received the news that his favorite professor and advisor, Dr. Brown, would retire. Immediately, Spencer thought, with a frown on his face, that nobody could replace him. Plus, it would be disencouraging to go to those classes with someone he didn’t even know. The news had dampened his mood, to say the least, and he was ready to protest.

"Don't worry, Reid," said Dr. Brown, kind eyes wrinkling in the corners as he smiled, sitting on his chair behind his huge desk, "Dr. L/N is a great person, in more ways than one. I'm sure you will be thrilled to work with her."

"I'm not sure. It takes me some time to get used to certain situations."

"I know, but I'm sure you've had to adapt to some unexpected events at some point," retorted the older man, psychologist mode in full swing, "This is no different. And, if I must say, not entirely unexpected. There's only so far a man can go without losing his mind.”

"I suppose so," Spencer muttered, feeling a bit selfish — it wasn't fair of him to put his thoughts before the older man's needs.

Dr. Brown looked at his pupil, who avoided eye contact for most of the time. The professor had taken an almost paternal liking to Spencer as they grew closer after the younger man stood behind in the classroom wanting to ask different and plenty of questions about the spectacle he had just watched, his first one. It was rare, for Mr. Brown, to have and hold a student's attention so uniquely, and it was as rare for Spencer to have someone explain things and welcome his curiosity so openly. Science had bonded them together — being men of science, they knew better than to argue with its effects.

"I was thinking, Spencer. If you're not so busy, you could keep leading the experiments in our lab, helping out our new professor." At that, Spencer's expression turned a bit sour, to which Mr. Brown chuckled, "Trust me, you'll have nothing to worry about. In fact, I think you two are greatly alike."

Spencer let nothing out but a hum of agreement, perking up slightly at that remark. He wanted to ask what the older man meant, but stopped himself, asking instead, "When does she get here?"

"I believe she is settling in her studio as we speak. You'll meet her tomorrow. I wish I could introduce the two of you, but, unfortunately, I leave at 3 a.m."

Exchanging goodbyes and wishes of a safe flight, Spencer left for his dorm, where he busied himself with the papers of the guest professor. Of course, he would not betray his ritual of researching the guest professor to know about their academic background, as well as their field of research, stylistics and projects to check if something would raise his spirits. It didn't matter that he wasn't pleased with the replacement.

Dr. L/N. You were, apparently, a great researcher for the Psycholinguistics area—a branch that made you known in fields such as Education, Criminology, Psychology, Linguistics, Communication... The list was endless. If he was honest, he felt a little baffled—and embarrassed—that he hadn't done any research on your contributions thus far. A mind like yours should get a recognition beyond any borders. Once he got a glimpse of your brain and what it could do, he was gone. Your resume was impeccable: you had studied in different institutions in countries, proficiency in multiple languages, uncountable papers and mentions of your name in studies in all the areas above.

He doesn't remember falling asleep or turning off his laptop. However, he remembers that, in dreams, he finds someone, but, strangely, he can't make up a face.

(...)

Walking through a bustling crowd of people always made you winded, the noise and the inevitable bumping too overwhelming for you to handle on top of being somewhere new. So, you preferred to sit and wait in a small, more secluded hall in the building that Dr. Brown said you would find his lab. After the morning rush, the corridors were filled by distant echoes of louder professors or students, which made you calmer; to think you weren't completely alone. Traveling to help out a friend was a much welcomed distraction from what you had left at home, something you weren't quite ready to access just yet. You could remember your shrink's voice as she said that, at times, it was useless to think so ahead of the future.

Unbeknownst to her, you agreed wholeheartedly. It was useless. The moment you could have done something for yourself was already lost, long gone, buried by endless hours of work and occupations to keep you from breaking a dam of lonely despair.

Speaking of the past, you slid your golden ring off your wedding finger, letting it fall inside your coat pocket as you made your way through the halls. Upon seeing a door with Dr. Brown's lab small logo on it, you cracked a small smile, remembering the story behind it: you and a bunch of other students trying to come up with a nice, thoughtful gift to encourage the guest professor's new interests. When you opened the door, you found a tall, thin man sitting by the computer desk, apparently engrossed until he heard the click of the lock, finding your eyes with equal parts startle and wonder, lips parted gently, surprise etched all over his pretty face.

The young man had innocent, almost bambi-like eyes. It was the first thing you had noticed about him. Staring at you, hazel eyes so expressive that you were sure he could speak through his glance alone.

After the initial surprise, you thought you knew who he was, having heard all about Dr. Brown’s new favorite student and mentee. Spencer Reid, who seemed to study for leisure, deeply intelligent and reliable. No wonder he was in the lab, settling everything so that he would be helpful. It was a faithfully vivid image, much like the one that had settled into your brain when your colleague had described who he was working with.

"Dr. L/N."

"Dr. Reid."

Your unison voices mingled in the air. You walked up to where he was, holding out a hand for him to shake. Dazedly, he stood up, taking your hands in his, which made you smile at him, appreciating his politeness. Spencer, on the other hand, felt frozen.

Whatever it was that he, at some point, imagined you would look like, it was nothing compared to the real thing. All your features seemed to be mathematically, precisely calculated to form one of the most beautiful and soft complexions he had ever laid his eyes upon. You spoke again, no longer blocked by his own voice, so gently that it was almost as if he was being physically touched by your voice. Your accent was not strong, but it was perceptible, something that he attributed to your multilingual abilities. "Sorry to barge in like that. It's nice to meet you. Dr. Brown told me a lot about you," you revealed, still smiling.

"It's okay. Nice to meet you too.” Tongue-tied. He felt illiterate, close to a woman who he was not supposed to have certain types of thoughts around. You breathed out a huff of amusement at his widened eyes.

There was a bit of an awkward silence when you both noticed that none of you had let go of the other's hand yet. With a clear of your throat and his fugitive glance, you both composed yourselves, retreating from your touch. "He said," you started with a chuckle, "and I quote, that you are now his eyes, ears, hands and brain in here. So, beforehand, I want to say that I truly appreciate your support and help." You said, politely, to which he smiled nervously with a shaky nod.

"It's no problem, really. Dr. Brown is one of the greatest here and it'd be naive of me to not accept his request."

You grinned, agreeing. "Yeah, he is a great man. Well, I believe you are more familiar with all the devices than I am." You said, motioning to the set-up behind him. "I do have these back at my university, but yours is a bit different from what I can see. I suppose they work the same way, but, to be honest, I don’t want to mess anything up."

Spencer blinked, scientist mode on full swing. "Yeah, yeah." He nodded, looking at her again. "You don't have to worry, I was just checking the last details before starting the experiments. Everything is already settled, but I can talk you through it if you want to conduct the experiment by yourself at some point.” He trailed. Curiously, he added, “If I may ask, what made you interested in this research?"

Your heart's happiness bursted into sparkles in your eyes as you smiled, glad that he asked you about it. You talked him through it, giving him specific details as he sat and listened like you were the most brilliant brain in the entire world. As you talked, he remembers feeling his lips twitching up in a small smile. Once you were done, encouraged by your honesty and heartfelt explanation, he revealed with a faint dust of pink on his cheeks, "I know. I, um, I searched and read some of your papers last night.”

"Really?" You asked, cordial.

"I try my best to get to know my professors' fields before meeting them. It's a way I found to keep my brain entertained and to get ready for what's coming next." He admitted softly, mentally patting himself on the back for not stuttering.

"That is a good approach. I must say I wish I had that kind of mindset when I was your age."

"It’s okay. You've been doing a great job."

Silence. Understanding from both parts.

"But... to answer your question, I have been really interested in working with language lately, more than usual, at least." You chuckled softly. Spencer couldn't stop his own grin at your enthusiasm, eager to hear your voice.

You agreed once he offered to show you how their device worked, sitting on the chair in front of it. Spencer motioned for you to go ahead and place your chin on the small stand. He took notice of your hands when you placed them on the desk, bitten nails and small, red spots on their edges. It concerned him, but he brushed it off, thinking it could have been a simple nervous habit, knowing he had no business asking or worrying about you. You were his professor, after all. "Whenever I lead this experiment with my students, they always tell me they feel like they are at the ophthalmologist."

Spencer chuckled. "Yeah. It does feel like it. You can't even move an inch."

You followed the instructions on the computer screen so that the device would follow your eye movements. It worked quickly, which made you pleasantly surprised and it was hard to hide it from your tone, "This is faster than any other I have tried before."

"Welcome to our university."

As you worked on the experiment, answering to the commands on the scream silently, the device following your orbs, Spencer took his time to study your features. Your hair was neatly up in a ponytail, dainty earrings adorning your ears that matched your gentle features. All your sharpness, if you had any, was in your eyes. An intense gaze that made him falter a bit, as if his brain had the need to stop for a second to store the sight of your gaze on him to remember it for good. Your movements were calm and collected, and, ironically, you looked rather young to be a doctor.

Once you had finished, you didn't pull away immediately from the device. The computer could no longer pinpoint where your eyes were, because then they were directed at Spencer instead glancing at him as if studying him, taking him in to remember his features like a quote that you knew by heart. As he turned to look at you, he started explaining how to save a volunteer's progress and, honestly, you were only half listening, focusing on his mild mannerisms, voice and use of language. You nodded here and there, absentmindedly storing that information. You two departed after exchanging some more information, mostly him guiding you through the campus, talking about each department and what was the fastest and best way to get to the building you were staying at.

Spencer remembers going home with renewed interest. He couldn't help but think about the way you portrayed yourself, the way you talked and moved, almost as if you were an ethereal being that was placed on Earth by an unfortunate mistake. Even though he had been unable to come up with a face for you last night as he read your thoughts, you had been an enchanting surprise. Unable to stop the thought, he gave it some indulgent room: you would, somehow, be a distraction. And he was crazy to get to know in which way.

A couple days went by without Spencer seeing you. You were quite busy yourself with the lectures you were planning and teaching. That morning, though, he had found you teaching Dr. Brown's previous class. It was surprising, and mildly irritating, to see that the class was the most crowded it had ever been. Taking a good look around and listening to a few comments that bothered him to no end, he found out the reason. Some of them wanted to simply see you. The thought was like being bathed in scorching water. He chose to sit in the front, because he thought, petulant, that you would know and remember his face and his face alone. As you entered the classroom and greeted the students with a warm good morning, you were pleasantly surprised to see Dr. Reid in the front row.

After neatly arranging your belongings on the desk, you started your class on the dot. “Hello, everyone. I am professor L/N and I am here to take over Dr. Brown's class.” You started, voice precisely clear. “Now, I understand that some of your colleagues might be running late for some reason. I don't mind if you are late at some point, but try not to make it a habit because it might disrupt our class. I do tend to start my lectures on the dot in respect to those who managed to get here on time. Today, we will talk about…”

You spoke gently, but you had your boundaries set and clear, which made Spencer squirm a bit. Seeing you so sure of yourself, so assertive, made something stir deep within him. Besides, the dumbstruck look of the many students gave him enough clue that he was not the only one feeling a little affected by you and your ways. As you went on and on about the topic, you gestured with your pretty hands, making smart remarks and cracking some light jokes that made everyone a lot less nervous around you. The new, pretty professor.

The topic, behavior, sounded redundant, at that point, because he had studied that subject over and over again, tiringly, exhaustingly, but there was just something about the way you spoke, about your mannerisms that he couldn't look away. You had a way with words, and he was fascinated by how you managed to make some more complex subjects so understandable to students, even if you sometimes drifted deeper into a certain concept, only to go back to them later. He couldn't even speak. The class was relieved while he was troubled.

“Huh, that's odd. Half of you are not in the roll.” You commented, turning the lights back on. “Is this correct?” You muttered to yourself, afraid that maybe you had the data of another class instead.

A girl suddenly spoke up, “Many of us are auditing.”

“Oh?” You wondered. “How many of you?”

Quickly calculating, Spencer bitterly noticed that about 70% percent of the class raised their hands. He wanted to think that it had to do with the fact that these people weren't around for Professor Brown. You smiled, warmly. It was a punch to the gut. “Well, I hope you enjoyed the lecture.

It was when the students slowly exited the class that he was able to reach you, gathering your papers and looking content. Sharply gentle eyes, impeccable posture and pristine clothes found his gaze and he found that he didn't want to look at anything else. He didn't seem to be ready to have that small heart attack every morning. He felt equal parts of embarrassment and a flutter on his belly. He approached you calmly, and as you greeted him, there was a warm look on your face. "Hi. Good morning, Dr. Reid.”

“You did a great job,” he blurted out, voice a bit strained. You only pretended you didn't notice. “Good morning.” He remembered to greet you back. Nice.

Your voice was low as you muttered a soft "thank you."

"Of course." He said, fiddling with the strap of his bag.

"I never asked... What is your field?” You inquired, curiously, grabbing your bag and walking side by side with him, exiting the room.

Spencer had that answer nearly tattooed on his brain. “I have PhDs in Chemistry, Engineering and Mathematics,” he started, nonchalantly, as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I also have a BA in Sociology and Philosophy. This is my third one, Psychology.”

“How old are you?” You blurted out, baffled.

“23. I, uh, I graduated from school at the age of 12.”

You stood there, speechless. Of course you knew that that was possible in some countries, but the casualness in his tone got to you more than his exceptional educational background. “That is… unreal.” You whispered. “You are so young and… and… You are still absorbed with learning.”

He chuckled, shrugging, delighted by your compliment. “Yeah, I guess… Not many people would make the same choices as I would.”

Your entire body froze, including your hidden hand, because his words had hit a particular spot within you. You gave him a nod, agreeing. “Well, it is still impressive.”

“I appreciate it.” He said, looking down and missing the slight dejection on your face. Nevertheless, his heart fluttered at the praise coming from you.

Shaking off the dark thoughts, you started again, “If I may ask, why did you switch from STEM to Humanities?” You asked, now mildly amused as he looked at you, taking the stairs with him to the office. Occasionally, your shoulders brushed.

“Curiosity.”

“Is that all?” You asked, puzzled.

“I was always surrounded with a wide access to books and overall knowledge. My mother was a Literature teacher.” He explained, a small smile gracing his face.

“That must have been nice. You must know a lot about the classics. They are my favorite kind of Literature.”

“They were good distractions, I guess… I wasn't, uh, the most popular kid growing up.” He trailed off.

“Me neither,” you said.

Spencer noticed that you walked with a hand on your pocket, but couldn't say anything about it, too much more focused on the way he seemed to be bathed in a newfound confidence around you. As you reached the office, he quickly placed his belongings on the leather couch by the door. With a low whine of disappointment, which caught your eye, he announced, “If you'll excuse me, I have to get a few books from the library.”

It was better than saying, hey, I was too distracted by you that I forgot that I also have responsibilities.

“Oh, sure. Go ahead. I'll be here.”

“Thanks.”

The door closed with a soft click, and you found yourself all alone again. Taking a look around, you busied yourself by analyzing your surroundings. There was a wall covered by huge, tall, dark shelves, cramped with books. The piece of furniture reached the roof with all sorts of technical literature. A small glass cabinet on the opposite wall showcased trinkets from all over the world, kids drawings and family pictures. A leather couch, cushions and an equally dark wooden desk adorned the room as well. A white light brightened the room, illuminating his titles, and a yellowish one lightened a painting on the wall, made by Dr. Brown's daughter, of the beach they visited frequently. It made you irrationally jealous. The reminder that other people had constant remnants of love was a stab to your chest, and you looked away from the bitter/sweet reminders.

Suddenly, your eyes got a glimpse of Spencer's belongings: technical books, a satchel bag, his coat and a small notebook. You wondered what he would write about in there, whether it was some sort of planner or he just thought out loud on those pages. You fought the urge to touch his stuff, deciding to sit on the couch after shrugging off your coat and laying it close to Spencer's things.

Still plagued by an annoying flicker of envy, you picked your ring, analyzing it with fierce focus between your fingers. The material, white gold, was supposed to adorn your hand for the rest of your life. The only personal thing about it was that it had been custom-made, by demand, just for you. A wedding band was supposed to hold, to be a souvenir of the deepest commitment of love. But as fate would have it, it had been nothing but an object. It held no meaning, since you and your husband easily slid it off when it was convenient.

There was a small date carved on the inside part of the ring. Neither you or Oliver wanted any stronger reminders of each other. To you, he was merely tolerable, and you struggled to feel anything but sorry for him. Despite the fact that you were helplessly coerced into marriage, you despised him for never having the guts of chasing a life, instead busying himself with living the fleeting pleasures that his parents' money provided him, spending his endless vacations overseas, sleeping around. A typical bohemian. A bon-vivant. The fact made you bitter. How does one possess every kind of mean and doesn't care to improve themselves as a person?

Inevitably, you were pulled into a strong stream of memories.

The sun filtered through the curtains, illuminating the dining room that held uncountable and expensive decorations. What caught your eye, though, is a much too long and large table with endless chairs. You remember thinking it was over the top, since neither you or Oliver would plan to have guests over. Swallowing your remarks, you smiled to your father and exchanged a look with your sister-in-law, not bothering to look at Oliver and therefore missing his awestruck look. It was the first time you were visiting the big house with its endless rooms, windows and useless areas. You ignored the subtle meaning of it: you were supposed to carry on your families’ names. The mason had been your parents’ gift, so you decided to stay quiet about it, not commenting on the tacky, outrageous muchness of things. You had learned the hard way not to fight back when it came to their decisions.

From a very young age, you were special. A charming, intelligent, quick-witted child who busied herself with studies and books who had a series of leisure time activities to go through during her free time. Hence, you grew up exceptional. You were always the center of attention somehow; being the first grandkid from both sides of your family granted you a few privileges, you held their entire focus, entertaining them with your particular and curious behavior during their gatherings. Whenever they showed up, your parents would remember some new ability for them to show you off. Playing the piano, chess, languages… You were always in the top of the class, in the best schools, surrounded by kids your age that belonged to the best families.

It was with a deep, heartbreaking sadness that you realized that you had their attention for your potential and everything you could add to their name. Nobody ever played with the first child.

Beautiful, graceful, wistful, clueless little you.

Your family’s connections and endless activities for you had been how you met Oliver in the first place. A smart, easy on the eyes boy who became a smooth talker as he grew older. You were friends from a very young age, but nothing more. You were always too caught up on working on yourself and your abilities in order to charm everyone that romance was something you couldn't even begin to fathom — it was nothing but a strange and distant feeling. You kept things platonic between you and him, spending time, mostly listening. Oliver would tell you all about his interests, and when the age came, he would tell you, rather technically, how his endeavors with other girls went.

You never thought of Oliver as more than a friend. In fact, his manners grew to annoy you, like a small barb in your shoe, if you were totally honest — not that you would dare to. You simply endured his existence, saving your reviles for yourself, because, growing up, you never knew what it was to freely express yourself. How lacking it was to grow up not knowing what it was to speak your mind freely without a strong reprimand of some sort.

Such painful dawnings had only taken place at the age of 20, when your parents and Oliver's had agreed to marry the both of you. Unable to fight back, you simply watched it happen. It was so damaging and traumatic that you could barely remember the times you had spent together, everything was just a big knot of confusing memories to which you felt more like an spectator than an actor. Over the course of the years, Oliver and you would make public appearances, but you had told him, on the first night after your marriage, that he was free to do whatever he wanted, as long as he didn't ruin your image. No. Not the one you had dedicated your entire life building.

Throughout the entire thing, your sister-in-law had been your anchor. A distant one, that sits in the bottom of the sea, as you navigated through your own life. Being too close to you was a sad reminder of your situation and she was aware of that. She had her friends and connections, unknowingly, check on you, though. She was all in for pretending her sad excuse of a brother didn't exist. Theresa and Oliver were polar opposites: a hard-working woman and a sluggish man.

Eventually, as you both moved through the world, engrossed in your true passions, Oliver had truly found someone. Someone you didn't bother learning the name of. Someone, you preferred to think, that didn't know about you and that if she did, she truly didn't care. The feeling was mutual. You, on the other hand, delved deeper into your studies, busying yourself to the fullest. It was nice, in a way, because that way, you were shielding yourself from the world and your inevitable, eternal struggle of a loveless life in the only way you knew how: through being someone.

It was far from a solution, but that's where it ended. It had been years since the last time you heard your name coming from someone else's lips. You didn't dream of it happening anytime soon. You didn't let it happen, anyway. Every advance was cut before it turned into expectations.

A small gasp erupting between your lips broke you out of your reverie when you heard the lock being harshly handled, which made you bolt straight to the door, dropping the ring on the floor. Opening it, you saw Spencer struggling to balance a huge pile of books and a tray with two cups of coffee. He thanked you softly when you offered to help him, your skin touching his briefly, jolts of something unknown coursing through both of your bodies. Pulling away, you placed the books on the desk, searching his eyes as he blushed like crazy.

“I got you coffee… I don't know how you take it, so I got it black with two sugars. There are many options these days, which can make choosing one a challenging decision, since there are undeniable and endless possibilities of you being allergic to some of the ingredients. Of course, there are also chances of cross-contamination. Now that I think about it, I should have probably gotten you tea. Oh, my God. Do you even drink coffee?” He finished, almost panting.

You stifled out a laugh. His ways were endearing. “It's okay, Dr. Reid. I'll drink it. I'm not allergic nor prefer tea over coffee. Okay?”

“Okay.” He said, puppy eyes finding yours again.

“Thank you, by the way. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” He said, smiling softly.

It quickly turned into your go-to order.

—

Students came and went, and you made conversation with them, which made you all the more endearing for Spencer. You asked about their day, how they ended up there, and you looked genuinely interested in their answers. It could be a stretch, but Spencer felt that, much like himself, you wanted to make connections — but not the professional kind. You wanted to belong somewhere, from the way your eyes held an intimate and unwavering hint of sadness when you heard their answers, but none of them had the nerve to ask you back. It was expected, though, because no one would think of a professor as a friend. The entire time, you were being addressed as such or as Dr.. You couldn't blame them. That was who you were, too lost in that character to remember who you actually were. If you had been someone, that is.

As Spencer sat behind the computer, ready to access today's tests, you chatted with a freshman student. Glancing at the clock, the girl with excited mannerisms almost shrieked, “Oh, my God! Is it that late already?! I have to go to my piano class.”

“Sorry to hear that,” you said, sounding a bit deflated. “It was nice to meet you, Dana. I'm really happy you've helped us.”

“Anytime, professor! Bye!” She said, walking through the door and closing it behind her.

You turned to Spencer, a hint of longing in your expression. “Are you leaving as well?”

“Not yet. I want to go over our results for the day.”

“Oh!” You exclaimed, approaching him to lean by his side on the desk, supporting your weight on one arm as your other hand touched the back of his chair. He could smell your perfume, something uniquely different, aromatic and so fitting. “Does it compare results automatically?” You asked, turned to look at him.

“Unfortunately, no,” he muttered, unfocused, eyes scanning all over your face, focusing especially on your lips. “I have to do that myself, which is why I'll take longer to leave. If we leave this for the last minute, it'll be much more stressful.”

“Slow and steady it is, then.” You said, grinning. “I'll stay to help you.”

—

Spencer remembers when he started feeling a lot stronger about you.

You were in the office, decorating it as your own. Spencer took notice of your belongings, trying to catch a glimpse of everything that made you yourself. There were abundant novels in many different languages filling the tall shelves, some souvenirs from different parts of the world, your titles… The analytic part of his brain took notice of the lack of family pictures and overall personal items. It was achingly professional and distant, the way you were setting your space. He couldn't help but chime in, “Is that all you're putting up?”

With a lopsided grin, you tried to justify, sensing his intentions. “I don't like cluttering.”

He didn't answer, sensing that it might be sensitive unknown territory. You unboxed a wood chess board, placing it on one of the bottom shelves. He looked at you, a silent question in his eyes. “Just in case someone wants to play,” you said, as you forced a smile that didn't reach your eyes.

The next day, Spencer walked through the office door with a box in hands. He hid it between the sofa and the wall. As you arrived, you talked briefly about the research, which was now coming to an end. Flopping down on the floor, crisscrossed and barefoot, you sighed, smiling as he updated you. “You know, I don't think I've ever been happier.”

“Yeah?” He asked, curiously.

“It almost feels unreal, how kind life's been to me lately.” You revealed, voice trembling a bit with emotion.

“Somehow, that's hard to believe.”

“Is that so?” You asked, playfully. Spencer had to swallow before your mischievous smile. A new expression on your face that he found that he quite liked.

“I mean, look around. You have everything some people think it takes to be happy.”

“You're right. Some people. I don't.” You retorted with a dip of your chin.

“What would make you happy, then?” He inquired, eager to find out. To become it.

You breathed in, closing your eyes. “I'll let you know once I figure it out.”

Should he say it? Would it be indelicate? Insensitive? Too much? Too straightforwa— “You sound a little hopeless.”

“Maybe I am.” You said, almost shrugging. Like it's not a big deal.

“You shouldn't be.” He retorted, sitting down in front of you.

“What makes you so certain?”

“You're young.”

“If anything, that only feeds despair, to some extent.” You said, distantly.

Internal battle at full extent, once again. “You know… I… I have been keeping an eye on you.”

You tilt your head the slightest bit, gaze unwavering. “What do you mean?”

Spencer struggled to form coherent thoughts, to articulate his own ideas before blurting them out rather excitedly. “You seem so… different. It's almost like you're out of this world. It's fascinating, actually. You're very deep in your own little world. Even the way you speak tells something about loneliness. So well, eloquently—”

“Susan Sontag.”

He smiled, satisfied. “See? How would you remember a quote by heart if your mind was filled with some things else?”

Against your will, you agreed. “You're right, Dr. Reid.”

Silence. He stood up, walking to grab the box behind the couch. He came back and sat in front of you once again, but this time, his knee brushed yours and neither of you mentioned it. You welcomed the warmth. Spencer hid the one coloring his cheeks. “Call me Spencer.”

“What is that?”

“Flowers.”

“Flowers?”

“You need some life around here.”

You giggled, absolutely delighted when you saw the box, containing an orchid Lego set. Spencer fought against his every instinct to just pull you into his arms at the sound that twisted his insides instantaneously. It was the first time he had heard you laugh, a rich, funny sound that seemed to have erupted from your own soul. “Is this for me? Because, you know, this might be the best thing I've ever gotten.”

“Oh, really?” He asks, feigning sarcasm. “I could've sworn it was the original piece on your wall.”

“Thank you, Spencer.”

“You're welcome.”

Despite your position, your posture was as elegant as it had ever been. He placed the pieces between the two of you. Eventually and almost silently, like a personal prayer, he learned how to call you by your name upon your insistence. With a soft look in his eye, he relented. Everything about him seemed to tell you that he was there to help you build the set. That it was alright, because he was there.

You two stood up, one at a time, once you had finished the set. Standing by the window, you glanced at the pretty plastic orchids that now were placed on your desk, right next to your name, a funny little piece amidst such a formal environment. He followed you after a brief moment of doubt. “You know, Spencer,” you uttered and he thought he might be addicted to the chain of sounds that makes up his name falling from your lips as he watched them, mesmerized. “Thank you so much for this. It's a nice feeling. Like I have a friend.”

You both shared the intimacy of a glance with each other. You decided to elaborate, too shaken by the thought of your loneliness being palpable. “You're right… I've always been a bit on the lonely side.”

He was pleased to see so much honesty from your end, and happy to see something of himself in you. He swallowed, trying to control these thoughts and keeping his composure. “I think you're very easy to get along with.”

“That's the first time I hear that.”

Spencer couldn't help the wince that came with the stabbing pain he felt at your revelation. “It's true. I…” Who are these people? “I think you're very easy to like.”

You thanked him again, quietly, lowering your gaze to the space between the two of you. Seemingly under a spell that had been casted by the way you let your guard down, ignoring the nervous pit on his stomach and not taking the time to process the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings running through him. You stood so close, if he could just— “Looking from up here, all people look so tiny.”

“Considering the extent of the universe, we are pretty tiny.”

You snorted, shaking your head softly. “Proportion changes perspective, huh, Spencer?”

Losing control over his words, utterly lost, he continued, “I also… I find you pretty… pretty.”

Your eyes glanced up to meet his. Spencer tried to read your expression, desperate to see if you were surprised, disgusted, uncomfortable or if you welcomed his words. Instead, he found a hint of longing in your eyes that he couldn't begin to understand. “I… I don't know what to say.”

Compliments were a sensitive, unknown territory for you. You only knew what these were if you outdone yourself in whatever earned you attention. Sighing, you looked at him, almost guilty.

“Sorry, I… I shouldn't have said anything.” He cringes, avoiding your gaze.

“It… It wasn't.” Deep breath. “It's just that… you're…”

Were there words in the English language for these feelings?

“I know. I didn't… I don't expect you to say anything in return,” he says, almost dejectedly. The truth is out and he can't take it back. “I just wanted to come clean. And I think that it's not just looks that draw me to you.”

You stood there, speechless.

“You're not mad? Or… or offended?” He tries.

You looked at his widened, scared eyes. It made you want to soothe him — the instinct disconnecting your mouth from any sense of ethics or decency that ran through your brain. Taking another deep breath, scared to death, “I’m actually flattered. You're a very beautiful person, inside and out, but… but… I'm your professor, Spencer, and older than you.” You said, voice wavering slightly as you got to look into his eyes again.

“Somehow… when I think about you… neither of these seem to be a problem. I can't—not think about you.”

His words crafted a small crack. There would forever be a memory in your brain of the exact same moment when his words settled in. You fell to pieces, and as you did, you felt yourself losing control of your own actions, of your sense of ethics or principles. Before you thought it through, as you felt every sense of reason leaving your body, you tilted your head up, a silent, welcoming consent of his lessening distance. Spencer, who looked almost pained with so much want, let out tiny puffs of breath as if the air had been knocked out of his lungs. He couldn't believe you were seemingly taking a risk like that, but he found that he couldn’t and didn't want to hold back any longer. The young man, very carefully, cradled your cheeks, bravely holding your glance as he caressed the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb. Time stood still when you closed your eyes, slowly, and he tilted your chin up the slightest bit, angling you just the way he needed. The touch, the existence of you was so intense and overwhelming that it made him shiver, and he was failing to keep his hands from shaking. Following the stream of whispered truths, you added, “I want to give you something to truly think about. I need your permission.”

Softly, Spencer brushed his lips against yours as he closed his eyes. It was gentle, tentative, almost experimental. The touch, albeit subtle, calmed his every nerve, and his shoulders relaxed at the contact. A shaky exhale left his lips when you pulled him in, placing your hand on the nape of his neck, the feeling grounding and safe. When your lips interlock together, it's a moment of realization; he doesn't think that he wanted something so badly without even knowing what it actually was.

Your touch is tender, as if you were both afraid that harshness would steal one from the other, relishing in the moment and in the rush of sensations that were unknown to the both of you. Spencer was so afraid that you were going to pull away and run, but he just couldn't control himself as he slid his tongue into your mouth, basking in the small satisfied sound that you made, his hands gripping your waist. You, on the other hand, felt as if you had been pushed into a sea of hot, scalding water. No touch had ever made you feel like that, and your desperation had you now tightly gripping at his vest, trying to get him impossibly closer to you. Your bodies pressed against each other set a trail of fire between the two of you, and the kiss gradually became more urgent. Violent, even.

When you pull back, he doesn't let you go far, his face only inches away, barely registering that you actually needed to breathe so great was his need to feel you against him once more. Panting, you leaned your forehead against his, not ready to open your eyes and see his face. You'd be lost.

“At least now I have something proper to think about.”

Flustered at him using your own words against you, you couldn't meet his gaze. You tried to say something, but all the courage pumping through your veins seemed to have found a way out of your system, leaving you helpless, utterly defeated into silence. A small feeling of guilt started to grow inside you, and you were warring against it. You had just kissed a student in your workplace when you were trying to have a fresh start. Spencer, noticing your turmoil, was quick to engulf you in a hug. The action, so simple, worked like a balm to your nerves, and you allowed yourself to take a deep breath, inhaling his scent, which had just become your favorite. You didn't want to let him go, neither did you know if you would ever be able to.

Resting his chin on your shoulder, he cradles the back of your head. Under the sofa, lies a small, shiny object that was long forgotten due to both its irrelevance in your life and the first moment of genuine affection you've ever experienced.

—

You remember how it felt like to lose control of yourself.

It had been days since the secret kiss you shared with Spencer and it had been the last time you saw him. Your days were filled with endless phone calls with lawyers and Theresa, desperate to find yourself free from your doom excuse of a… marriage? It seemed offensive to even relate that word to whatever you had been forced upon doing. Your nights were spent by your bedroom window, watching as people came and went, noticing with heartbreak how distant you seemed to be from everyone. You were a stranger in many ways, but above all, you were a stranger to yourself. Every little manifestation of action or thought made you inevitably remember all the people and their behavior that shaped you into whatever you are today.

And then there was Spencer. Spencer, whose touch was making you feel constantly equal parts guilty and entranced. Spencer, who was spamming your email inbox, wondering where you were. Spencer, who was the only person you truly allowed yourself to think about. The sight of him haunted your nights and the ghost of his voice echoed inside your head when you were sitting around in the empty studio. It was supposed to be refreshing, really, how his mere existence made a new flicker of hope bloom in your chest that had been unknown thus far. It was bold to call it hope, but you preferred to do that because there was no other word, no other feeling that you knew well enough to associate it with the memory of him.

You had forgotten the sound of your voice. The only thing your apartment walls heard in the time span of three days and three nights had been the following string of words:

“Theresa, are you there? Can we talk?”

—

Spencer remembers how it felt to miss you like a lost puzzle piece.

It had been days and your silence was upsetting him like nothing ever had. Sick of replaying that moment over and over, he decided to find you instead. It was late at night as he walked your street after pondering whether he should or not confront you about your silence. There wasn't much to discuss. It was just a kiss — secretly, he was scared that you would argue so —, but the lack of news from you had him feeling on edge. A tall building, endless windows. On the fifth floor, he could make a figure staring out into the city, and he couldn't begin to explain where the strength came from to run up to where you were. There was only one apartment per floor, so he knocked impatiently on your door.

501.

Upon hearing the sound, you stared, a bit scared, at the door. Opening a small slit, you saw him and your entire body froze. You closed it immediately, fear etched into your features as if he was an impending threat. As if he could cause you any harm.

“Please,” he cried, resting his forehead on the door. He tried not to compare the stiffness of the object to the softness of your skin. A clear of his throat. “Please. Nobody's seen you for days. I… I haven't seen you in days.”

There was a minute of mortifying silence, but he decided to wait. What was another moment if he had waited for you for so long? Spencer let out another plea, this time, calling you by your name.

You let him in, but you couldn't meet his gaze. Nevertheless, he noticed your bloodshot eyes. Speaking your name softly, he inquired, worryingly, approaching you. “What happened to you?”

You took a small step back, straightening your posture once you realized how close he was getting to you. The action made your heart shatter. “Don't,” you pleaded, soft-spoken as ever.

“Look at me.” He croaked, pleadingly, timorous.

Reluctantly, you met his eyes. They were confused, questioning, and it was a first on his expression. You felt guilty for doing this to him. “I can't do this to you, Spencer. I can't.”

“Please… Talk to me. Don't shut me out.”

“We can't do this. I'm your professor, and, and…”

“Are you seriously pulling the professor card? I'm not one of those undergraduate students. I'm me. It's me. We've been so close and when I think something finally might happen, you disappeared. It wasn't fair.”

Each of his words were stabs in your already hanging by a thread heart. Rip the band-aid.

“I'm married.”

There was a moment of stunned silence from his end. You knew how cruel it was to use your formal marital state to avoid him from coming any closer, but you tried not to dwell on it. This was it. Spencer deserved better. And for the first time in your life, you couldn't be better. His silence made your stomach churn painfully, aware of the ache you were causing him, and desperate to be the one to soothe the damage you had done.

Spencer, on the other hand, stared at you blankly. Almost skeptically, even. You'd have analyzed it better if you weren't too busy with your own turmoil about him. “I don't see him anywhere,” he finally said, defiantly.

Surprise took over your features, and before you could form another painful remark, Spencer approached you decisively. “Where is him, huh?”

Cutting you off as you opened your mouth to speak, once again, he scowled. “Damn him. I would do anything just to have you around.”

The crack was now big enough that he could see all parts of you from where he stood. Right then, though, the glimpse he caught before you violently smashed your lips against his was enough to haunt him for a lifetime. Your gaze, so utterly tired yet determined, looking at him as if he was the only thing in your entire world — perhaps he was. The kiss was demanding, fueled by sheer animalistic hunger. You had been hungry your entire life, deprived of the simplest pleasures and there he was, ignoring all your lackness. You failed to think of a motive for his actions, but you decided that you utterly didn't care. To feel seen like that was enough of a reason for you.

His tongue pushed into your mouth, exploring every inch with a neediness that surprises even him. You gripped at his shirt's collar as his hands tangled in your hair, tightly, almost afraid you'd disappear. Neither of you recognized your own actions, everything was far too new for you to know how to act properly, losing yourself in each other, consumed by the unique, addicting taste of your kisses and the heat building between you. The sizzling, almost bothersome feeling in your core, combined with the intensity of his kiss left you feeling lightheaded. He pulls away, reluctantly, squeezing his eyes shut, as if refraining from doing something. You rest your forehead against his. Uneven breaths mingle together as you had your eyes on him, waiting for the final blow, when he would look back at you. “Let me in,” he croaked. “I wanna be yours.”

Don't.

“You deserve so much more than this. Than what I'm able to offer you,” you whisper in a ragged breath, closing your eyes, hands now softly holding his head.

“I'll take anything you are.”

You winced, a helpless crease finding its way between your brows. “You don't get it, do you? I can't. I can't do this to you. I don't know how to do this.”

He softened, hands never leaving your skin and eyes never leaving yours. “You don't have to know anything. I don't know it either. I just wanna be yours tonight.”

Silence.

“Is it because of him?”

You promptly retorted. “No. It's not because of him.”

“From now on, it's me.”

Spencer crashed his lips to yours, barely giving you time to let his words sink in. Seemingly trying to convey his emotions, his willingness to beg for you to let him in, his devotion to be yours in that moment. Brushing your fear of not getting him to stay, you gave in, too blinded by the sheer strength of the burning within you. Spencer kissed you deeper as you slid your tongue inside his mouth, ravishing and relishing in the taste of him. A small moan broke through you when he gripped your tighter, leading you to the nearest surface — conveniently, the bed. Spencer barely had time to take in his surroundings when he got there, too busy with you and the strong pull between the two of you, but his body unconsciously and seemingly knew exactly where to take yours.

You had now entered a land reserved for only the two of you. You looked at him, softly placing you on the bed, kissing all over you, as if you were something worth looking at, worth worshipping. The tears streamed down your face freely, and he kissed each of them as they bloomed again. “Let it all out. I'm here.”

Intertwining your fingers on the nape of his neck, adjusting so that he was between your legs, you looked at him intently while he lowered the straps of your cami top, eyes never leaving yours, lips caressing your collarbone gently. The action made you shiver, and you were under his trance, taking whatever he wanted to give you, signaling over and over that you allowed him to be yours, just like he asked to be. In hindsight, he was making you his.

Gingerly, you leaned up to reach his jawline, kissing and nipping at the soft skin, trying to find an outlet for all the overwhelming feelings and fire inside you. He moaned softly, basking in the feeling of being marked so gently, already satisfied with the mere thought that he would have something of yours to remember. It was when you were undoing his shirt, not so accidentally brushing your fingertips against his fiery skin that a wave of pleasure, embedded with a persistent feeling of guilt, crawled its way into your thoughts. You were like a helpless being caught between the fight of two violent ends, and you found that you loved it. You loved being at their mercy. You loved being at his mercy.

Quickly getting rid of your top, Spencer leaned even lower, brushing his skin against yours, which elicited a series of goosebumps to erupt on your skin. You clenched your hands after retreating them from his body, desperately trying to find something that could ground you instead of feeling everything all at once. He was overwhelming, and he had barely touched you. “I never knew I could feel like this,” you breathed out, unable to keep the truth from him any further when he skimmed his fingertips against your ribs, touching with the most desperate of delicacies.

Grinding against you, he whispered, rushed, “Do you feel how much I want you? I see you and I want you. Let me in.”

Spencer's words, albeit simple, were hitting many unreached places within you. Without breaking eye contact and a bit clumsily, you two got rid of the remnants of your clothes, baring yourselves to each other in more ways than one. Spencer, still accommodated between your legs, eased himself so easily into you, making you hold on tightly to his arms, you two both letting out strangled noises at the feeling. You, beneath him, around him, enveloping his length in the most pleasant wet warmth, sucking him in, gripping, squeezing, never letting him go. A broken sob erupted as he mumbled, “I missed you so much.”

You could barely find your voice, too lost in the sense of him on top of you. The taste, the sight, the smell of him inebriated you like no drug ever could. “Ah—I missed you too,” you whimpered. “You… have no idea.”

“Show me, then.”

Desperately, you pulled him in for another searing kiss, trying to convey how much his absence had made you feel, how guilty you felt by putting what it felt then like an unnecessary distance between the two of you. Trying to get closer, impossibly closer than you ever had been before. The sensations were shattering, and you found that you didn't want to be put together again. No, you were gladly ruined for the rest of your life. Scratches down his back, bites on his lower lip and an endless stream of whimpers left your lips complemented the exhilarating experience as he watched how you reacted to him.

Lowering your gaze to where your bodies met, you were met with an exquisite sight, how he pulled away just to shove his cock back inside you making you dizzy as he had his way with you. Following your line of sight, Spencer moaned as he saw the mess between you two, how his skin began to stick to yours as your arousal glimmered on his skin. Fully sheathed again, you cried out, “There's—mmmm—so much of you in me.”

“Will you remember me?” He asked, resuming his thrusts, violently shaken by your words. He wanted to give you all of him.

Struggling to speak, your entire body trembling with the force of his strokes, you stuttered, “I could never forget you.”

His hips halt their movements. He asks, pointedly, with a stark gaze that burned its memory into your very soul, "Say you'll remember," he whimpered with a small sigh. It was difficult to tell if it was from neediness, impatience, frustration or anything else.

It was not the time for semantics, but you smiled despite yourself as the tears started to to steadily roll down your cheeks, and you replied with a shaky breath, "I'll remember you forever."

Spencer pushed in again, swallowing the strangled moan that left your lips as he kissed you intensely and your tears kissed his cheek as well. Your bodies embraced one another, as if they needed each other to exist. The moon and the sea. You tried to hold on to him, hands curling against the skin of his back and legs circling around his waist. Spencer, on the other hand, had a desperate hold on your waist, which would probably lead to faint marks of his fingers. You found that you didn't care, the astounding feeling of him against you, so forcefully and simultaneously lovingly, could use all the memories to tell you later it had been real. That you had been yours as much as you had been his that night.

The pleasure building within you was new, almost scary given its force to shake everything inside. Spencer was equally reeling, trying to prolong the moment as much as he could, too caught up on the existence of you to let it go anytime soon. With a mewl of his name, you let go, pleasure coursing through your veins and spreading through your body like being bathed by the sultriness of your moment together. The fever reached your heart, and with tearful eyes, you watched him as he released inside of you, eyes dazedly searching yours and his lips singing your name like a prayer.

On top of you, in that place of sheer veneration, your bodies tangled together like an abstract painting. Neither you or him made mention to move, too content in the feeling of sticking to the other.

"I'm not leaving,” he muttered after a while, nuzzling your neck.

"Spencer..."

"I'm not leaving. You'll wake up in the morning and I'll be here.”

—

Tonight, you aren't watching strangers from the windows of your office nor from the ones in your studio apartment. Instead, you are walking home with Spencer, hand holding hand, a firm, fierce, steady grip that never faltered.

You now exist, hearing your name being called several times a day. And so does he, the one proudly uttering said name, whenever he gets the chance. A small, simple reminder that you belong together.

dividers by @cafekitsune <3

[bambi-lamb]

over the phone

Summary: Ever since Wanda left for a routine work trip, things have felt off—even compared to previous trips. Things come to a head one day and you can't help but ring her up. Just to talk... well, at first anyway.

Tags: wanda maximoff x f!reader, 18+, smut, edging, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, phone sex, dacryphilia, mommy kink, nipple play (is that a tag idk), implied sadomasochism (just a lil bit), remote vibrator, fingering

WC: 3,165

A/N: i know the tags are a little crazier than usual... and the length is double what i normally have. i don't know what happened— hopefully someone is into this though

"Detka? Are you there?"

The phone speaker crackles in the following silence, breaking you out of your stupor.

"Sorry, Wanda. I'm here."

She hums softly on the other side of the line, sounding amused.

"So, why did you call me, sweetheart?"

The honey-sweet words trickle into your ears and you sigh, leaning back against the headboard and fidgeting restlessly with the edge of the duvet.

"Just missed you. Wanted to hear your voice," you respond quietly, hoping that the phone catches it.

Evidently, you're not entirely successful.

"Hmm? Say that again, baby?"

You slump down against the pillow, sliding underneath the covers and turning to the side. The phone finds its way between your hands, still on speaker, and you cradle it closer to your face, staring unblinking at the caller ID screen as you repeat yourself.

Wanda chuckles softly, and the phone slides out of your loose grasp. You melt into the mattress before reaching out to readjust the phone until it's in place again.

"I missed you too, detka. What have you been up to today?"

You hum softly, squeezing a second pillow between your arms as you think over your response.

"Not much. I went out and bought groceries. Nothing special. Everything feels so stale without you here," you lament.

A soft huff of breath crackles through the speakers.

"I'll be back soon, detka. I'm only here for one more day, I promise."

You sigh and turn onto your back again, hugging the pillow tighter.

"I just miss you so much."

"I know, sweetheart, I know."

The soft warmth spreading in your chest is all-too-eager to branch as far as it can go, and a low ache settles at the bottom of your stomach. Wanda's voice has always been a weak spot for you, and even through crackling phone speakers that hasn't changed.

"Miss you in all the ways," you murmur, suddenly overwhelmed by the intensity of your need.

Wanda coos softly, but doesn't say anything further. As her raspy voice echoes through the speaker, tears spring to your eyes. It hurts to miss someone this much. You've never had much issue with Wanda leaving before. It's not like you don't understand that she's busy.

But for some reason, this time has felt different from all the others. Your everyday life feels emptier, hollow, surreal. Without Wanda to anchor you down, you feel like you're a phantom, coasting on muscle memory to get through the day until you can get in bed and dream of green eyes.

"Wish you could just come home already," you whine, trying to tamp down your rising emotions.

"Detka," Wanda murmurs. "It's okay. I'm here. Stay with me, okay? Mommy's here."

You battle with your conflicting desires, desperation and desire coursing through your veins in equal measure. You flip back onto your side again, clutching the phone like a lifeline, thumbs pressed into the screen as if that will somehow bring you closer to Wanda.

"Mommy," you whisper back, taking solace in the title as your breathing evens out again.

"Yes, sweetheart. I'm here," Wanda reassures.

Lust roars to life suddenly and you squeeze your thighs together, mind blank as Wanda's soft voice washes over you.

"Mommy," you whisper again, heavier this time, weighted down by desire.

"My baby," she murmurs in response, low and firm.

"Need you. Please." You've been reduced to short phrases already, finally letting your mind take a backseat and just letting yourself feel.

"What do you need from mommy, detka?"

"Want mommy, please. Want to hear— want…" you can't find the right words, overwhelmed by just how much you need Wanda in this moment. You just need her, need to anchor yourself.

Luckily, Wanda understands what you're asking for all too well.

"You want mommy to tell you what to do? Is that it, detka?"

You nod limply, before realizing Wanda can't see you.

"Mhmm," you hum into the screen instead, fingers still digging into the phone case as you pull it even closer.

"How badly do you need it, sweetheart?"

Wanda's voice is teasing, and you can hear shuffling on the other side of the line then the click of a door locking.

"Need you so bad, please mommy." The words tumble out in a rushed mess, but at this point you can hardly bear to think of this phone call ending in anything other than an orgasm.

Wanda chuckles again.

"You're so lovely for me, detka. So needy. So sweet. You know what mommy would do to you if she could be there with you?"

You shiver, pillow long-forgotten as you clutch the phone between your fingers.

"I would take it so slow, sweetheart. Draw it out a little bit, just tug down the top of your shirt and play with your pretty little nipples until you're squirming and crying."

Wanda sounds delighted; you can hear the smile in her voice as she describes how she would touch you.

"Just softly at first, only the best for my baby. I'd use my mouth and tongue, and then when you're squirming for more, mommy would use her fingers to pinch and squeeze and roll. The way you like it, baby," she hums, and you shiver again.

"Can you do that for mommy, sweetheart? Can you pinch your pretty nipples for her?"

You whine high in your throat, listening to the way Wanda laughs softly through the phone.

"Mommy," you whimper, tugging your tank top down and setting down the phone next to your head. You know exactly what Wanda means, and you pinch and squeeze, rolling your own nipples roughly between the pads of your fingers, the way you know Wanda always does, the way you like it.

"Oh god, mommy—" the moan gets caught in the back of your throat, coming out choked as bolts of white-hot electricity course up your spine.

"You're doing so good for me, detka," she coos, and you sob desperately, already overwhelmed.

"Just keep it up for me, sweetheart. I want to hear you cry."

You acquiesce obediently, squeezing your nipples until they're swelling, reddened by the abuse, until you can feel tears welling up and spilling over. Wanda keeps whispering soft encouragements through the speaker even as you pant and moan, broken only by soft sobbing and crying.

It never surprised you, but you're sure anyone else in the neighborhood who knows Wanda would be startled to discover her sadistic streak. She's always liked seeing you cry, and it only helps that you like it when she makes you hurt—when she tears you apart and builds you back up again.

"Mommy," you whimper again, a broken noise that makes Wanda moan softly on the other end of the line.

"Oh, detka, you sound so pretty," she coos, enjoyment sparkling in her voice.

"Please," you beg, shivering and shaking with every new jolt of sensation.

"Mmh, good girl," she murmurs. "You can stop now, just for a little bit."

You moan with relief as you're finally given permission to pull your hands away from your chest.

"And then mommy would touch you lower, wouldn't she? You know how mommy likes you, baby. Legs tucked up against your chest so you're nice and open for mommy. Go ahead, sweetheart, why don't you start now, hm?"

You pant softly as your pull your own legs up and apart, kicking off the duvet and whimpering when cold air meets your sticky cunt.

"Mommy would start slow, just keep you spread open with her fingers, and just watch. Wait until you're squirming and wiggling before she touches you. Just keep yourself open, baby, you can listen to how mommy wants to touch you first. No touching yet."

You hum and abide by her rules, reaching down only to spread yourself even further apart, shivering as you imagine Wanda's lazer-sharp gaze on your spread cunt.

"And then mommy would touch you so softly, just gently rub with her fingers where you're nice and open for mommy. Never inside, just right outside, where your pretty cunt opens up for mommy."

You shiver as you imagine the sensation, all-too-familiar with how it feels.

"Do you think you could ever come like that, baby? With mommy's mouth on your nipples and her fingers rubbing your cunt just like that?"

Wanda moans softly at her own words, and you whimper loudly into the speaker. It sounds torturous and delicious all in the same.

"Hmm, maybe once mommy gets home," she murmurs. "How's my detka feeling now, hm? Are you being a good girl? You're not touching yourself, are you?"

Her words are edged with danger.

"No, mommy. I'm being good. Not touching myself. Keeping myself spread open with my fingers, just like mommy would," you profess earnestly.

Wanda hums thoughtfully.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you baby?"

"Promise I'm being honest, mommy."

Wanda coos softly, reassured.

"Good girl, detka."

You moan softly in the back of your throat. Without realizing it, you've started rocking your hips against the empty air, searching for more stimulation.

"Now where were we? Ah, right, mommy would rub your pretty cunt until you're crying again, and then keep rubbing. Just until she's satisfied. You'd have to be a good girl and beg for more. Beg for mommy's fingers."

"Please," you moan. "Please, mommy, please." Mindless even though you haven't even begun to touch yourself.

"You can touch yourself now, baby," she coos gently. "Just like mommy said, okay? Don't go inside just yet. Just outside. Nice and soft."

You agree quietly, letting go of where you're stretching yourself open to reach down further. You take your index and middle fingers and begin to rub in careful circles, moaning at the touch.

You've heard about this before, know just how many nerve endings exist in just this region, and it feels like you're on fire. Desperation seizes you. You want more. You want so badly to feel full, to come already, but Wanda hasn't given you permission to do anything beyond this, and you're nothing if not a good girl for her.

"Good girl," Wanda hums, and then continues to describe more, dropping her voice torturously low as she paints new visuals through the speaker.

"And then mommy would press inside, so so slow, bit by bit until you're all filled up. But as soon as mommy's inside, she'd pull right back out, all the way. Rub your pretty little clit with those same fingers until you're crying again, so close, and then stop. Once you're calmed down, mommy would do it again, and again, and again. Over and over."

"Mommy," you sob desperately. "Mommy, please."

Wanda hums softly, but doesn't acknowledge your pleas.

"You don't have to do it so many times tonight, baby. Just a couple. Just so mommy can hear you cry again. And then mommy wants you to go get your vibrator. Mommy will make you come like that, okay?"

You shiver and gasp as you continue to work yourself up.

"Yes, mommy. Please, mommy."

Wanda seems to be feeling merciful tonight, because she doesn't wait very long.

"You can go in now, detka. Just like mommy said, okay? Nice and slow."

You nod eagerly, forgetting Wanda can't see you, and begin to nudge your fingers inside, torturously slow, exactly the way Wanda has so many dozens of times in the past.

The stretch burns, just a little bit, even with how slick you are, and you moan into the speaker. It takes nearly a full minute just to seat your fingers in completely, and you sigh as you clench down, finally feeling full.

"Pull out, baby," Wanda orders firmly.

You whine, crying out in disappointment, but you don't disobey.

"Mommy," you beg, even as you pull back out completely, leaving your cunt empty and needy again.

"No, baby. Not yet. Be good for mommy. Now you have to rub your pretty little clit. Soft. Gentle. Mommy wants you to edge yourself three times, okay? She can count for you, baby." Wanda's breathing sounds labored on the other side of the line, and you briefly have time to think about whether or not she's touching herself, too.

Then your fingers are on your clit and your thoughts wash away again.

You rub just as she instructed. Slowly, gently, cautiously. Just enough to slowly build you up to an orgasm. Never enough to tip you over. Desire throbs low and slow in your stomach, but Wanda's low voice keeps your orgasm at bay. Slower. Lighter. Hold it.

Soon enough, her voice is all you can think about. It replaces the voice in your own head, guiding every movement of every part of your body. No coming. Never coming. Just rubbing, slowly.

When you whimper a little too loud into the speaker, Wanda makes you stop. Pulling your hand away feels like hell, but you do it anyway. When your breathing settles to an acceptable degree—Wanda makes you hold the phone up to your mouth until you stop panting—she has you start again.

Slow and steady. Stretching yourself open with two fingers until you're spreading around your knuckles, and then out and away. And then once again, rubbing your clit until you can feel just how empty you are, clenching down around nothing. The tears well up this time, and Wanda coos softly when you hiccup soft sobs into the phone.

She still makes you stop.

"That's two, detka. Just one more. One more. You can do it, can't you?"

You nod limply, fingers seated deep inside your cunt. It feels glorious, to be full just for this one moment, walls fluttering around something until Wanda orders you to pull them back out, and then you're hollow again, incomplete.

This time, she has you rub even longer, twice as long as you had to before. She makes you pause whenever your breathing speeds to much, or you moan too loud. She tells you to keep your fingers on your clit no matter what, even if you're paused, just to feel the way it throbs underneath your fingertips.

When it does, she asks you to count each pulse out loud, to tell her exactly how much you need her, how much you need more.

"Okay, baby, you can stop now," she orders, after making you count for the fifth time.

"Get your vibrator, sweetheart. Press it in as far as it will go, okay?"

You reach over to the bedside table, fumbling with the drawer until you find the small vibe, sucking on the tip for only a moment before you're eagerly cramming it into your cunt. It feels heavenly, to finally have something inside again, and you moan softly.

"Good girl," Wanda coos from the phone, and you feel the way the vibrator comes to life.

It's slow, probably at the lowest setting, but you're still grateful for the way the vibrations pulse outward, rippling through your nerves deliciously.

"Oh, sweetheart," Wanda murmurs. "You've been so good for mommy today. So sweet. So obedient. Do you want to come?"

You whine eagerly, half-sentences forming in your throat.

"Please, mommy, please. Want. Wanna come. Please."

Wanda chuckles softly, and the vibrator jacks up to the highest setting. You sob gratefully into the phone, your entire body shivering as pleasure finally floods into you.

"Whenever you want, detka," she hums.

The orgasm is aggressive, fast, overpowering. It crashes through your entire body, your toes curling and back arching as all the tension you've built up for the past hour is finally released.

But even after you've come down, panting loudly into the speaker, Wanda doesn't stop the vibrator. She lets it run, still thrumming harshly deep inside of you, until you're tipped over into a second orgasm. The second orgasm is just a tinge of painful, but that ache quickly bleeds into euphoria again.

When she still doesn't stop, you begin to beg, pleading incoherently with Wanda to turn down the vibrator, to stop completely.

Wanda gives no indication at all that she's heard you.

The third orgasm is an all-consuming heatwave, burning through every raw nerve ending as your entire body is left twitching in the aftermath. The fourth and fifth completely remove all sense of coherency and reality from you. Even still, the vibrator keeps buzzing away, tucked deep in your cunt. Wanda murmurs the whole way through, reassurances sweet in her mouth.

She still doesn't stop, though, even when you've lost your voice from how much you've moaned and cried through each orgasm.

You don't even know how many times you actually come. At least 7 times, you think. When she finally turns the vibrator off, you're a complete mess, drenched in sweat and tears, your thighs coated in sticky arousal and come.

"You're okay, detka," she murmurs through the phone.

"You've been so lovely for me. Can you do just one more, baby? Just one more? Mommy wants to hear another one, pretty please?"

You whimper hoarsely, already overstimulated beyond belief, but it doesn't even matter, because the vibrator is buzzing to life yet again.

"Just one more, sweetheart. You can do it. Mommy knows you can. You're so good for me."

You manage to choke out a moan as pleasure builds in your gut yet again, aching and burning. It hurts, but it also feels euphoric.

"Be a darling and rub your clit for mommy, okay? Nice and hard, baby."

You cry out when you do, fingers pressed into your clit as you nudge along another orgasm. It's all too much, but Wanda only turns the vibrator higher. All of a sudden, the orgasm crashes through you, and you shudder one last time, squeezing down on the pulsing vibrator inside you.

You cry out unintelligibly, and Wanda turns the vibrator down, letting you ride out your final orgasm before shutting it off.

"Such a good girl for me, detka," she coos softly. "You're so lovely for me, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you."

You hum into the phone, listening to the way it crackles with sound. You have half a mind to pull the vibrator back out and you leave it on the nightstand, but your uncooperative legs won't let you stand, let alone walk to the bathroom to clean up.

"It's okay, baby. You can go to sleep now. Mommy will be back in no time, okay?"

"Love you, Wanda," you murmur, eyelids already drooping with exhaustion.

As you drift off, vision swimming and blurring, you hear Wanda's honeyed voice come through the speakers again.

"Love you too, detka."

Slipping away into dreamland, you're met with the same dream as you have been for days now. When you're met with green eyes and red hair this time, you no longer feel so hollow—instead, warmth floods through you. The world around the two of you takes shape, changes colors, blissful and bright.

Wanda's eyes sparkle as she laughs at you, tugging you along to nowhere in particular, and you find yourself smiling—genuine and full.

[no-144444]

telling- o.piastri

summary: your first season as an f1 driver doesn't start the best, and you quickly realise McLaren doesn't like women very much. On top of that, your race engineer is as smug as the rest of them, and you have to deal with him all the time.

pairing: race engineer! oscar piastri x f1driver! fem! reader

warnings: lots of misogyny, lando is an asshole in this, illusions to ed behaviour, reader is not in a good head space, all of mclaren is super sexist, mentions of crashes and injuries

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | more to come...

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅

“You alright?” he mused, his hand squeezing yours. You nodded softly, smiling at him. 

“Fine,” you nodded. “I’m just… worried, I guess.” 

He shook his head. “Nothing to be worried about, they love you already.” 

You followed just a step behind him as he led you to the dining room. You’d been dating Oscar Piastri for 2 whole days. The sun set over Melbourne and the wonderful colours poured in from their large windows, as everyone sat down to dinner. Oscar had ‘stolen’ you away from Mae and Nicole for the day, opting to take you to meet some of his old friends and show you around his home town a bit, and you’d really enjoyed yourself. Australia was beautiful, the kind of place you’d like to live once F1 was over. The weather was warm, the sea was blue, and the people were kind. And Oscar was there. You liked it a lot. 

“What did you two get up to today?” Nicole asked over dinner. 

Oscar shrugged. “Not much, just took her to meet some of my old mates and showed her around a bit. She’s never been to Australia.” 

“She can speak y’know,” Mae sassed at her older brother, who rolled his eyes and shut up. 

You chuckled. “It was cool. Melbourne’s really nice. I usually only see it from the cockpit of the car.”

“What’s it like driving so fast?” Tim asked, still fascinated by it. 

“It’s kind of… unnoticeable unless something has gone really wrong,” you chuckled. “It’s cool though, everything just kind of whips past you.” 

“Fascinating,” he nodded. “Different from my line of work anyway,” he laughed. 

“Oh yeah, what about your parents? What do they do?” Nicole asked. Oscar stiffened beside you, watching carefully at how the question would play out. He knew about you and your parents' estranged relationship. He knew it was a sensitive subject. 

“They’re doctors, I think,” you shrugged. “One of them was a psychologist, and the other was a general practitioner.” 

Nicole’s face fell, a pit growing in her stomach as she feared the worst. “Are they passed?” She placed a comforting hand on your forearm. 

“No,” you shook your head. It was awkward to explain, but who cared? They’d probably find out anyway, just like everyone else did. It got leaked to the press in the middle of your 2nd season in F3 that you were estranged from your very famous, very powerful folks, and moreover, that they had a new family. It used to bother you. Sometimes, it still did. But Nicole wasn’t a nosy reporter, and you weren’t 17 anymore. “They just kind of… shipped me off to boarding school when I was 8 and cut me off when I was 17. We just weren’t close and it was clear they didn’t want kids at that time.”

“I’m sorry,” she squeezed your arm and you offered a soft smile. 

“Thank you,” you nodded. “Sorry for bringing the mood down.”

Hattie shook her head. “You didn’t, and anyway, their loss is our gain.” 

You smiled appreciatively at them. “Well, I did want to thank you all again for having me.”

“Any time,” Nicole smiled. “Always.”

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅

Oscar smiled as he pulled off your top and pressed your head against his chest. You wrapped your arms around his middle, relaxing into his touch. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice low. 

You hummed against his skin. The both of you were lit by only candles (Oscar’s favourite thing ever), his bedroom looking increasingly cosy under the light. The soft breeze coming in from the window gave you goosebumps, but he was warm enough for the both of you. “Yeah, you?”

“I’m good,” he nodded, his hands wrapping around your legs and hoisting you up so that your legs were around his waist, and your arms were around his neck. You squealed and he dropped you onto his bed with a chuckle, pressed a kiss to your cheek, then walked to his bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. He loved kissing you. It was addicting, you were addicting. He had never pinned himself as a physical touch sort of guy, but there basically hadn't been a moment where he hadn't been touching you since you'd made it official, and you didn't seem to mind.

You cuddled up in bed, enjoying the soft pillows and lingering scent of Oscar. As you heard the shower turn on, your eyes fixated on the view outside the window. The ocean flowing gently just outside, the beach in front of you, the moon reflecting off small shells embedded in the sand, it was so beautiful. 

You heard the shower stop, and your attention turned back to you and Oscar. You two were official and it felt insane to be able to say he was your boyfriend, but you enjoyed it all the same. “Osc?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, the sound warped by the toothbrush in his mouth. 

“Do you want to tell your family about us?” you questioned, playing with the hem of one of the pillows. “No pressure, of course.” 

He poked his head out from the bathroom, the towel around his bottom half dangerously low. You let your eyes wander all over him, his wet hair, his build physique, his goofy smile. “You mean it?” 

You nodded. “I mean… yeah? I feel weird being here and them not knowing,” you shrugged. “I don’t want to keep it from them, or really anyone, but especially them, right?” 

He nodded. “I agree,” he grinned. “We’ll tell them this week.” 

You smiled. “Cool,” then turned to your side and grabbed your book. 

“Are you going to act like that wasn’t a milestone?” he mused, joining you in bed, shorts on and towel-dried hair. 

“What?” you questioned, not looking up from your book. 

“You want to tell my parents about us,” he smiled. “That’s big.” 

You shrugged, unconvinced. “Is it though?” 

He nodded and pressed a kiss to your neck. “Yeah, it is,” he lay there for a moment, just watching you read. “You look beautiful,” he smiled. 

You turned to him and laughed. “You’re such a sop.” 

He rolled his eyes but smiled all the same. “Uh-huh,” he nodded and kissed you again. 

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅

“Do you want to come with us to Sydney?” Hattie offered as you two ate breakfast together. “We’re just going for like a few days, but we’d love to have you.” 

“Plus Mae will be like, miserable without you,” Eddie chuckled. You smiled. 

You shrugged. “I’d love to come.” 

“Where are we going?” Oscar asked as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“Y/n, Eddie, Mae, Mom, and I are all going to go on a trip to Sydney,” Hattie explained. 

Oscar nodded. “Can I come?” 

“Sure-” Eddie shrugged. 

“Mum wants it to be a girls trip,” Mae reminded them. 

“Come on, Y/n is my-”

“She’s our friend too,” Mae argued. 

“Yeah, and arguably, you could let Y/n out of your sight for more than three seconds,” Hattie chuckled. “She doesn’t constantly need you looking out for her. She can have a week away with her mates if she wants.” 

They were both quiet. 

“Hattie, what the fuck?” he scoffed. “If you’d let me finish, I could tell you that Y/n is my girlfriend, and I’d very much like to spend my break with her.” 

Hattie, Eddie, Mae, Nicole, and Tim’s eyes all looked to you for confirmation. You swallowed the bite of food in your mouth and turned to Oscar. 

“It’s only like 4 days,” you shrugged, and he stared back at you. “And then I’ll be back. Or I don’t have to go.” 

“Oh, I thought it was the month trip mum had planned-”

“You’re dating?!” Nicole cheered, rushing over to hug the both of you. “That’s great news!” 

“How’s he done that?” Eddie whispered to Hattie, who just laughed. 

You graciously accepted the hug, then turned back to the conversation. “I don’t mind.” 

“You go, I thought it was the month-long thing my mum wanted to do,” he explained, and kissed the top of your head. “When are you leaving?” 

“Tomorrow,” Hattie interjected. 

“Cool,” he smiled. 

“Cool,” you mirrored. 

It wasn’t exactly how either of you were planning on telling them, but it worked all the same.

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅

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[frostiexavier]

⎯⎯ ୨ campus confession ୧ ⎯⎯

☆ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | 18+ only ☆

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

ੈ♡˳ summary: You tag along with Caleb for the weekend to help him settle in at the DAA. He is super excited to show you around campus and introduce you to his friend. But this weekend doesn’t go as either of you had planned.

ੈ♡˳ warnings: fem! reader x caleb, fluff, smut, praise, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), i think thats it, very fluffy end, oh also angry reader tehe

ੈ♡˳ word count: 10.1k (sorry its kinda long)

“I will be there in 5 minutes to pick you up, pipsqueak. I can’t wait to see you!”, Caleb exclaimed excitedly over the phone.

“Me too! Text me when you get here and I will make my way down to the car!”, you said both excited and in a hurry. Trying to finish packing before Caleb arrives.

“10-4, see you then”, he replies and you end the call, tossing your phone into your pocket.

“Okay, keys, wallet, phone, toiletries, clothes, ugh but I’m forgetting something”, you try to think while you scramble through your backpack to triple check you have everything. A sudden knock on the door stops your commotion.

You move to the front door and open it to find Caleb standing there. Leaning against the door frame like he has been waiting there for an hour when it's only been 10 seconds. He is wearing the t-shirt you bought him last time you were together and a pair of blue jeans. The shirt makes his biceps pop, which makes your heart flutter. You knew he would wear it, which is why you bought it for him.

You and Caleb have been inseparable since you were kids when Gran took you both in. Even though people would call you siblings, you never saw Caleb in that way. Ever since you met Caleb you have always had a secret crush on him, He would always get attention from girls at school and it made you slightly jealous. But when guys were interested in you, he would always play the protective older brother role and tell you that those guys had bad intentions. You weren’t interested in anyone else anyways but it made it even harder for you to move on from your crush. Even now when you are both heading off to college, he made you promise to tell him if you liked someone so he could approve of the guy. You love him for being protective of you but you wish he would take the hint.

“I told you to text me”, you sigh and let him walk past you into your apartment.

“I did, but figured you were trying to pack in a hurry”, he says, looking at all the stuff that was just neatly packed in your backpack a disarray on the couch.

“You procrastinator”, he smirks and turns to you with his arms folded in front of him.

“Don’t look at me like that, I was totally ready to go but I feel like I am forgetting something”, you say, scratching your head and sighing.

“Phone charger?”, he smugly asks, placing his hands on his hips.

“ Oh my god Caleb, that's it!”, you say and quickly run into your room to grab your phone charger from the outlet behind your nightstand. You quickly make your way back to Caleb.

“You were right!”, you say as you start to repack your stuff.

“You always forget it and end up stealing mine. Remember in middle school you forgot to pack it for our school trip and my phone suffered; it was dead the entire time.”, he chuckles as he joins in helping you repack your things.

“You didn’t need your phone, the trip was so fun that your mobile games would have taken away from your free time”, you say zipping your backpack closed and Caleb helps you put it on.

“Yeah but it would have been nice to take some photos of the trip. I only have the ones you sent me, and they are all pictures of me”, he replies, grabbing your baseball cap he gifted you a few years ago and placing it on your head; adjusting it to his liking.

“You should be happy I took photos of you. You have memories to look back on now. I could have been mean and not have taken any pictures of you at all”, you retort sticking your tongue out at him. He chuckles at your playfulness.

“Okay pipsqueak, but I didn’t get to take any of you”, he states, making his way to the front of your apartment door, carrying most of your things for you.

“Well you saved me from forgetting my charger this time; your phone won’t suffer so you can take all the pictures you want. With my approval of course, I won’t let you keep ugly pictures of me to hold as blackmail”, you state, locking your door and walking down the hallway with him. Reaching the elevator and taking it to the first floor.

He giggles and replies, “Oh pipsqueak, I already have a whole album on my phone of embarrassing pictures to blackmail you with. You have yet to cross me but when the day comes, you will have to beg me not to post them.” He leans toward your face and sticks his tongue out at you, mocking your teasing from earlier. Before you could respond,the elevator door opens and Caleb makes his way to his car. He places your things in his trunk as you make your way to the passenger seat.

“You aren’t the only one that keeps embarrassing pictures, tough guy. You better watch yourself too”, you remark at him as he gets into the car and buckles his seat belt. You take the hairbow from around your wrist and look in the cars built-in shade mirror to put your hair up into a messy bun.

“Okay let’s call it a truce, by the way, is this what they call a passenger princess?”, he laughs as you place the blanket you brought with you over your lap. You also have a cup already placed in one of the holders in the console of his car.

“I’m just getting comfortable. Why? Do I look like a princess?”, you say, leaning toward him and batting your eyelashes.

He leans towards you, mere inches away from your face and replies, “More like a passenger pipsqueak”. Your smile quickly turns into an annoyed expression and you flick his forehead.

“Ouch, hey that hurt”, he chuckles and flicks your forehead afterwards but not with as much force.

“Okay let’s go before we end up with bruises on our foreheads”, you laugh as you check the spot where he flicked you in the mirror.

“Alright, buckle up miss princess”, he replies, putting his sunglasses on and starts the car. He checks his mirrors and places his hand behind your seat looking over his shoulder to back out of the parking space. You loved when he did this, you always got a whiff of his cologne. You looked over to see the muscles in his neck extending.

After backing up he glances over at you and smirks before putting his attention back to the road and placing the car in drive. You can’t help but blush as he places one hand on the steering wheel and leaves one hand on the gear shift.

During the 3 hour car ride you and Caleb shared things about what is going on in your lives. You told him about how you will apply to the hunters association after college ends and all the training hunters have to do to keep up stamina. He listens intently to every detail and smiles as you talk about your dreams. As the hours go by and road trip games become boring, you finally arrive at the DAA. The campus was a lot bigger than you imagined, the dorms almost look like skyscrapers you would see in a big city. There was a runway with multiple jets and planes, to practice flying with you could only imagine.

“Woah”, you say astounded at the view before you.

“Pretty cool right?”, he says, parking the car in his designated student spot while tipping his sunglasses down to look at the runway.

“You should have become a fighter pilot like me so we could have gone to school together”, he says, directing his attention towards you now.

“No, I prefer the ground”, you laugh and unbuckle your seatbelt to exit the car.

He gets out of the car too and starts to grab your things. You are left carrying only the backpack on your back because he insists on carrying everything else.

“Follow me pipsqueak”, he says gesturing with his head to go with him.

“By the way, where will I be staying? You got me a visitor room right?”, you ask him and he chuckles softly in response.

“Visitor room? No, you’ll be staying in my dorm. I requested a single but they ran out so they gave me a double bed all to myself. I think I lucked out honestly. So I thought why waste the money on a visitor room”, he says walking to the front of the skyscraper-like building. The silver paneled windows and the sleekness of the architecture almost blinds you. You don’t know how he got lucky with a double bed by himself but you are just happy to be staying with him.

You walk in and the lobby was very modern. Everything looks grey with either black or white accents. People are studying with laptops and coffees within arms reach. The lobby is huge and Caleb doesn’t stop to make time to admire it, he makes a beeline for the elevators.

He presses the elevator button to go up. While waiting he takes his sunglasses off and hooks them to the front of his shirt. Still holding all of your luggage in his hand he waits for you to go into the elevator first once one opens up.

“Ladies first”, he gestures, making sure the doors don’t close on you while you get in. It's just the two of you in the elevator as he makes sure to press the “door close” button before anyone else could get in with you.

“What floor is your dorm on?”, you ask and he replies by pressing the button to the 14th floor.

“There are 50 floors?”, you say astonished, this building really was big. He looks over at you and loves how you are so easily amused.

“There is also a pool, game room, movie room, snack bar and other things like that. We can check them out later if you want”, he smiles at you as you turn and nod excitedly. Before you could say anything else the door opens and you let Caleb out first so you can follow him to his dorm.

“Here we are 14-12”, he says pressing his finger to the door handle, it automatically opens. He pushes the door open for you to go in first and you are astounded once again. The dorm is huge, it has a big kitchen and living area. You immediately walk in and examine the area, Caleb already has a few things set up but moving boxes are spread across the room still taped and all.

Caleb sets your things down on the sofa and stops to look at you admiring the place.

“Well whatcha think?”, he asks, placing both of his hands on his hips, head tilted to the side waiting for a response.

“It's huge Caleb, how are you affording this?” you ask him while touching the marbled kitchen counter.

“I told you pipsqueak, workin’ hard in school pays off, I got scholarships and I don’t have to pay a thing”, he crosses his arms, feeling proud of himself and he looks around his new place.

“Well you deserve it then I suppose. So what are we doing first?”, you ask him, looking around at all the unopened boxes.

“Why don’t you get settled, put your things up and I will look and see what we can tackle first yeah?”, he says, picking your things back up and heading to a bedroom.

He opens the door and places your things on the bed but to your surprise there are two beds in the room. They are exactly opposite of each other, making them parallel. The other is neatly made with dark blue sheets and a matching duvet.

“Uh Caleb, why are there two beds in here? Where is your room?”, you ask him and he turns around confused at your question.

“What do you mean? I told you I had a double bed room.”, he states nonchalantly.

“I thought you meant like a 2 bedroom dorm. We can’t both sleep in here. What if I need to change or something? Plus you snore so bad, I can always hear you on the other side of the wall at home”, you say in frustration. He blinks a couple times and pulls something out of his bedside table.

“Got it covered! If you need to change I will just leave. The bathroom also isn’t attached to the room so you can get ready and everything in there. Why are you freaking out, it's not like we haven’t lived together before”, he says, holding nasal strips and rustling your hair. He throws the strips back onto the side table and goes to exit the room.

Before he leaves he turns to you and says, “I’ll give you some privacy to put your things away, you can put your stuff in the other dresser. Come out here when you are ready.” He proceeds to leave the room. You can’t believe he would be okay with sharing a room like this. I mean, you did live together but never shared a room until now. A part of you is excited but nervous. You push your nerves aside and decide to unpack.

After putting all your things away in the dresser you head to the bathroom. After turning on the light you notice he has made space for you to put your things on the counter. Your heart melted thinking about him preparing for your arrival, making sure you had space to put your things. But Caleb is just like that, he would do that for anyone because he is too nice.

To your surprise, Caleb has eliminated over half of the boxes already. All the kitchen stuff was put away along with his toiletries and living room things. Leaving only his stuff for his bedroom.

“Caleb, I was going to help you. Why did you do it all already? That was the whole point of me coming here.”, you ask him with a slight chuckle.

“Well I don’t want you to spend your whole time here just helping me unbox stuff. Come on, you can help me hang up my clothes in the closet”, he says while grabbing two boxes and taking them to his bedroom. You follow behind him like an excited puppy.

He places the boxes on his bed and rips them open with his bare hands, making the tape snap in half. He grunts then lets out a sigh when he does the second one. You can’t help but admire his strength and the way his arms flexed so naturally while opening the boxes.

“He thinks of you as a sister, stop thinking these things.”, your subconscious reminds you. You mentally try to push your thoughts away when Caleb snaps you out of them.

“Where did you go, pipsqueak? Start hangin’”, he states while handing you a hanger and a shirt.

You and Caleb quickly get the closet finished and he places his jeans, socks and intimates in his dresser.

“All done, now we can just hang out all weekend”, he smiles and places a hand on his hip.

“So basically you didn’t need my help at all”, you retorted and sit, on “your” bed.

He sits across from you on his bed and says, “Well if I asked you to just come out with me you would refuse so I had to come up with an excuse. You can’t deny me when I need help.” He smirks and places his hands behind him on the mattress as he leans back. His motion automatically makes his legs spread wider.

You roll your eyes but then suddenly remember something.

“I almost forgot, I got you a move-in day slash yay you got into college gift”, you say excitedly and start to dig in your backpack beside you.

“Oh? Let me guess, it's those apple candies that I love huh?”, he says leaning forward trying to peek into your backpack.

“Noooo, now close your eyes and NO peeking”, you say and he throws his hands up in defense.

“Alright alright”, he laughs and closes his eyes, placing his hands on either side of him on the mattress and leaning forward.

You dig some more in your bag and pull out a small box. You open it and pull out the necklace you bought him. A dog tag that says “When U come back” with a little apple charm attached to it. You smile and get up and move closer to him.

You lean down slightly to put the necklace on him. His eyes remain closed as you take a moment to admire his features. His face has the faintest of freckles and perfectly shaped eyebrows. His lips formed into a slight smile but also relaxed at the same time. You swallow and focus on putting the necklace around him. When he feels the weight of the dog tag on his chest he raises an eyebrow.

“Okay open your eyes”, you say just above a whisper. You are nervous, hoping he likes it.

He looks down and holds the dog tag in his hand examining it. He smiles to himself.

“I got a dog tag because I heard a lot of flight pilots wear them but I wanted to add something personal”, you say fidgeting with your hands.

“I love it, and it's your style too”, he smiles then looks up at you. He suddenly stands up, giving you barely any time to back up. He then pulls you into a hug.

“It’s perfect, thank you y/n”, he says into your hair. You hug his big figure back and smile.

“You’re welcome Caleb”, you say into his shoulder. The hug lasts a few seconds longer, then he pulls away.

“Alright, let’s go, my friend is excited to meet you!”, he says, grabbing his wallet and phone.

“You mean guy friend? Why do you never have friends that are girls, I never get to make new girl friend. You don’t have a girlfriend either.”, you say, pressing to see what he says.

“Girls just don’t interest me right now, just want to focus on becoming a pilot ya know? I’ll let you know if I ever get a girlfriend. Plus I have you, you’re all I need pipsqueak.”, he says laughing and rustling your hair again. There he goes, giving the same response as always and treating you like a little kid again.

“Come on, grab your things. Let’s go”, he smiles and makes his way to the dorm's front door. You pout and fix your hair from where he messed it up. You grab your backpack and your phone and follow Caleb.

The walk down to the lobby was quiet, not many words exchanged between each other. You catch Caleb looking at his necklace again, he must like it.

Once you reach the lobby Caleb walks to a table with one guy sitting with his attention on his phone until he sees Caleb in his sight. He waves Caleb down and you follow him to the table, the guy looks very familiar.

“Hey y/n, long time no see!”, the male gets up from his seat.

“Gideon! Oh my goodness, how have you been?”, you smile and he goes to give you a light hug. You hug him back and he scans you quickly.

“I’ve been good, I haven’t seen you in forever! How are you?”, he smiles. Gideon has definitely changed since you last saw him. He is much taller than he was in middle school, and he was even tall back then. He definitely has built some muscle, not as much as Caleb though. He is wearing a black t-shirt with a blue and white jacket and some black jeans.

“I’ve been good, currently trying to get into the hunter’s association to start training and taking classes”, you tell him.

“Oh right you did want to become a hunter, you’re all grown up now”, he smiles at your dedication.

“So are you, look at your muscles dude”, you say pointing out his huge figure.

“Yeah I’ve been working out, trying to get ready for training. Wanna feel?”, he pulls his arm out of his jacket sleeve and flexes his arm. You reach out to touch his arm when Caleb grabs your hand.

“You reunite and the first thing you wanna do is touch his arm?” Caleb scoffs. You wiggle your hand out of his reach and reach your hand out to touch Gideons flexed arm.

“He offered.”, you retorted back at Caleb.

“Gideon, you are ripped”, you say, not believing how much he has changed.

“Thanks, I worked hard for it. But look at you, you grew into your features too. You’re so pretty”, he smiles putting his arm back in his jacket.

“Thank you”, you look down at the ground, feeling slightly bashful. You don’t get called pretty often, especially with Caleb around. It was nice to hear that from someone other than Gran.

“Are you two done flirting so we can go to the game room?”Caleb asks with arms crossed at his chest and tapping his foot, looking annoyed.

“Sorry, let's go!”,Gideon exclaims as you follow behind him. Caleb follows you both like a lone puppy.

You walk into the game room and there are so many things to do. It's set up like an arcade but they also have a pool table, ping-pong, table air hockey and more! You and Gideon start playing air hockey immediately. You are stunned at the amazing game room they have access to on campus.

You and Gideon have played a few games when you decide Caleb should have a turn. You hand Caleb the mini air hockey mallet and he turns his head away.

“You guys can keep playing, I’m going to go over there and shoot some hoops”, he says referring to the mini basketball game in the back of the room.

What’s his problem? You brush it off and continue playing with Gideon.

“Alright I’ll start”, he says and starts a new game. After hitting the puck back and forth a few times Gideon breaks the silence.

“So how are things with you and Caleb?”, he asks, continuing to pass the puck avoiding letting you get it in his goal.

“Fine I guess, what do you mean?”, you ask him, trying to figure out a strategy to get the puck in his goal and not yours.

“You guys are together aren’t you?”, he asks.

You immediately stop your movements and look at Gideon. He takes the moment to hit the puck into your goal, earning a point.

“Did he say that?”, you ask him seriously, Gideon catches on to your mood shift and sets his mallet down.

“Uh, well the way he talks about you I just figured. I guess I just assumed”, he says scratching the back of his head.

You turn your focus to Caleb who is shooting basketballs into the basket without missing a single one, His back flexing each time he throws one.

“No we're not, he sees me as a little sister”, you scoff and pick up your mallet again, looking away from Caleb.

“Are you sure about that? Maybe you should ask him”, he says, continuing to play the game.

You drop the topic not wanting to force him into an uncomfortable conversation. What did he mean by that? What does Caleb say when you aren’t around?

Another hour passes by and you all decide to call it a night. You said goodbye to Gideon and walked back to the dorm with Caleb without a word from him.

“Caleb are you okay? You’ve been really quiet”, you ask him.

“Yeah sorry, just tired from shooting hoops. You want something to eat? I can make you something”, he says but avoids eye contact with you. You try not to think too much about it and decide to let it go.

He made you all your favorite foods and his mood started to improve. You both talked about how his life will change now while he is away from home and how it will be weird not to see each other all the time; since he won’t be in linkon anymore.

“Alright go change and I’ll clean up here”, he says and you nod while getting up from your chair.

You head to the bedroom first to grab a pair of pajamas and stop in your tracks to see a photo of you and Caleb framed and sitting on his nightstand. It's obviously a silly picture but it warms your heart to see he cares enough to display it. You smile to yourself and make your way to the bathroom, you see Caleb doing the dishes as you walk by.

You start to change into your silk matching pj set. Pink shorts and pink button up top, you instinctively start to take your bra off like you normally do but stop yourself.

“It’s probably not appropriate to do that with Caleb in the same room.”, you thought to yourself.

You keep your bra on and just put the pj shirt on over it. You put your hair into a messy bun and brush your teeth. You wipe today’s makeup off and decide to head to bed. Once you exit the bathroom Caleb is not in the kitchen anymore. You head toward the bedroom and Caleb is sitting on his bed, phone in hand with grey sweatpants on and the shirt he wore from today still on.

After entering the room his attention turns to you, he pauses before he speaks.

He clears his throat and asks, “Are you going to be comfortable like that?”

“Huh?”, you ask softly and almost innocently. He looks away for a second, debating on whether he should ask. You realize what he means, he is referring to your bra.

“I just feel like I should keep it on, just for the weekend”, you say as you sit across from him on your bed in a criss-cross applesauce position.

“Don’t feel like you have to because of me. If you are uncomfortable I can face the wall or even go sleep on the couch”, he says standing up moving to grab his pillow and blanket.

“No no Caleb, you don’t have to sleep on the couch. I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable if I didn’t wear one”, you say while looking at your fingers, avoiding his gaze.

“Come on pipsqueak it isn’t like I haven’t seen you stumble around our old house without one on before when you're half asleep in the morning. You would always come to get breakfast barely dressed while brushing your teeth”, he nervously chuckles.

“I sleep without my shirt on”, he says pulling his favorite shirt from the back collar over his head ruffling his hair a bit. You try not to stare at his finely toned body and look only at his face.

“See it's not weird or uncomfortable, just like old times. You’ve seen me without my shirt plenty of times”, he laughs and makes a silly face. He is trying to lighten the mood but all it does is piss you off.

It's not his fault he doesn’t have feelings for you. But it’s not your fault you have feelings for him either. This whole day has been a struggle to get through. Especially after what Gideon said, and he is still treating you like a little kid, you are sick of it.

“Fine then, i’ll take it off since it doesn’t bother you”, you say standing up and pulling your arms into your pajamas shirt to take it off underneath your shirt. You want to prove a point but you don’t want to show him anything.

“Wait, you can go to the bathroom if you want to change or wait and I’ll-”, he says frantically to try and stop you but you cut him off.

“Why? You said it's not weird. Just like old times”, you retort, acting like it's no big deal. You finally get your bra off and dangle it in your hand in front of his view.

“You’re right, much more comfortable. I’m gonna go to sleep now, goodnight Caleb”, you say and turn toward your bed and pull the covers over your body while facing the wall.

“Night pipsqueak”, he says in a soft tone. That fucking pipsqueak nickname, makes you more furious. He gets up and turns off the light but to your surprise he starts to leave.

“Why are you leaving?”, you ask him, in a somewhat sassy tone.

“Uh- I forgot to take a shower today, so I’m going to go take a quick one. You can go ahead and sleep, I'll be back, promise”, he smiles and closes the door to the bedroom.

You mentally roll your eyes and a few minutes later you can hear the shower head turn on. You are mentally struggling with all this. You shouldn’t be pissed off because Caleb is just being his sweet self and wants you to be comfortable but that's also what pisses you off. You want him to see you as a woman not a little girl. You want him to see you as you see him. Caleb is a man now; he’s not that little boy from your childhood anymore. You just wish he felt the same way about you.

The words Gideon said earlier are also haunting your brain. What did he mean by that? He thought we were together because of what he said? What is he saying about you? To be fair, people in highschool always thought you were a couple but then realized you lived together like siblings then brushed it off as him just being a protective older brother. You remember girls would swarm you to give him confession letters and gifts. That thought was just pissing you off more. You decide to try to get some rest to relieve the stress and frustration. Listening to the shower and pretending its gentle rain outside, helping you drift off into slumber.

THE NEXT DAY

You wake up to the sun peeking through the window, shining right in your face. You scrunch your face as you slowly sit upright. You look over to see Caleb's bed made and him nowhere to be found. You sigh and decide to get changed in the bedroom, making sure to lock the door for Caleb's sake.

After deciding on your outfit of a cute white cami crop top, a yellow cardigan and a light wash denim mini skirt you leave the room. You make your way to the living area and to your surprise Caleb is asleep on the couch with a couch pillow and a blanket on top of him, with his shirt on.

You make your way to where you are standing in front of him and scoff. Your mood is already in a sour state. You look at him for a second and flick his head.

“Ow-“, he says in his deep morning voice, taking a second to realize you were standing in front of him.

“Oh, mornin’ pipsqueak”, his yawn turning into a small smile while he looks up at you.

“Why didn’t you sleep in your room last night?”, you ask, getting straight to the point. He slowly sits up before answering your question.

“Oh, I couldn’t sleep so I came out here and watched some TV, must have fallen asleep on the couch. Whoopsie”, he says, rubbing his eyes and then stretching. It’s hard to be annoyed with him when he looks this cute in the morning.

“Weren’t you going to show me around campus today?”, you asked him.

“Oh yeah, let me get changed real fast then we will go”, he jolts up and jogs to his room. You wait on the couch while he gets changed. A few minutes pass and he emerges from his room wearing blue jeans, a white muscle shirt and a black baseball cap. Sunglasses and phone in hand with the necklace you got him still around his neck.

“You ready?”, he asks and you nod in agreement. You honestly are excited about the little tour because this campus is amazing.

You both decide to walk around instead of driving to get the full student experience. He shows you the cute park with a small fountain placed in the middle of campus. He proceeds to show you the runway you admired yesterday and even lets you get into one of the jets. Him sitting in the pilot seat and you as the co-pilot. He shows you the infamous movie room, it looked like a legit movie theater with a popcorn stand and everything. He takes you around campus all day but not without taking some selfies and cute pictures of each other in all the locations.

“You want to eat at the cafeteria? I’m starvin’”, he asks and you agree, all the walking has made you both super hungry.

You both walk into the cafeteria and grab a table. You sit down and Caleb hands you his phone.

“Here, pick out some cute pics we took so I can post them. I know you like to pick them out yourself. I am going to order for us”, he says before he quickly makes his way to the lunch line.

Before you can say anything he is gone. You decide to scroll through the photos you guys took together today.

You smile as you send a few to yourself. He looks so adorable today and you both look so well together, especially the selfies were admirable. You exit out of the main album and scroll and see an album listed “her”’with a red heart emoji next to it . For a second your heart drops, was he lying about not having a girlfriend? Upon your better judgement you open the album and it's flooded with pictures of you.

The album has fairly normal pictures of you but when you press on one you see a small note section at the bottom. The first one saying, “she looked so pretty today”. You scroll left and the next one reads, “she doesn’t know how beautiful she is”. Many more photos like that with comments underneath them just as sweet. Your peeping gets cut short when Caleb walks back to the table and sets your tray of food in front of you.

“Bon-appetit”, he smiles at you but all you can do is stare at his phone.

“Whatcha lookin at?”, he asks and then sees what you have been doing. His eyes widen, like he has been caught. He looks at your face then back at his phone before he snatches it out of your hand and locks it.

“You shouldn’t snoop”, he says, frantically placing his phone face down on the table.

“What was that album supposed to be Caleb?”, you ask as he tries to ignore you by putting a fry in his mouth.

“It’s nothing pipsqueak, you better eat before your food gets cold”, he laughs it off and continues to eat his food.

You have reached your limit with him. You just want to go home, you are sick of the deflecting. You just want to leave all this confusion behind and get away from here.

“I’m not hungry anymore”, you say as you stand up to leave. Moving away from the table you head toward the exit.

“Wait, y/n”, Caleb shouts as people give him weird looks for shouting in the dining hall. He picks up the trays and throws the food away before running after you.

You make your way toward the dorm rooms and up to his dorm before Caleb can catch up to you. You were infuriated, walking at a fast pace.

You make it to his dorm but realize you have to wait for him to open the door. Suddenly the elevator doors ping and out comes an out of breath Caleb.

“Open the door”, you demand and he does without a question. He knows you are pissed now.

“I’m gonna pack my stuff and get a taxi to take me home. I’ll be out in 20 minutes”, you say to him making your way to the bedroom to grab your stuff.

He quickly follows behind you and shuts the door.

“Wait, I’m sorry I-. Are you mad about the photo album?”, he asks nervously. Putting his hands through his hair.

“No.”, you answer rather short. You grab your duffle bag and start to pack the things from the dresser into the bag.

“Then what's wrong? If it's something I did wrong I can fix it. Just please don’t go pipsqueak”, he says, his voice starting to break at this point. You pause your rage packing and turn to face him. His expression worried and eyes glossed over.

“It’s exactly that Caleb, it’s treating me like I’m still a little kid all the time. I just can’t take it anymore. You only see me as this helpless little sister figure that can’t protect herself. I am a grown woman now, I have feelings and I don’t like being treated like a child”, you confess to him. His face turns from worried into confused and flustered .

“I don’t understand what you mean?”, he says quietly, genuinely trying to piece it together.

“The nicknames, the head pats, the deflecting. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t see you as my little crush I had as a kid, I see you as a grown man who has this new life and I wish he would see me differently than the little kid from his childhood. I want him to see me as a woman. Then I saw those comments under those photos of me and I am so confused and frustrated. I don’t know what to do anymore so I have to leave.”, you finally confessed. You don’t have anything left in you, you have laid it out all on the line. You start to pack again and you get interrupted buy Caleb grabbing your wrist holding the clothes. There was no breaking free. He started to walk toward you, moving slowly until your back met the wall. You try not to gasp by the sudden contact.

Caleb placed both of his hands on either side of your head, his body towering over you as he looked down at the ground.

“You think you're frustrated? I have been in agony for years”, he replies back, his voice suddenly deeper than before. He finally looks up at you, meeting your gaze.

“Day after day I have had to push my thoughts and feelings away because I wanted to be a guy you could rely on. I wanted to be your rock, someone you could be comfortable around and trust. If I couldn’t have you, I could at least be that right?”, he says, breathing ragged and your heart starts to flutter.

“Caleb-“, you whisper but he moves in closer, his face just inches away from you.

“I tried to be the gentleman, pushing my thoughts and desires aside for you. Having to watch you everyday and pretend I didn’t see you in that way was the most painful thing that could ever happen to me. I thought moving here and going to college, not seeing you everyday would help me come to terms with it. Not seeing you everyday wouldn’t be as torturous.”, he says, you can’t believe what you are hearing.

“But now, now you want me to forget all of that. You want me to see you the way I have always seen you. Beautiful, smart, strong-willed, brave and incredibly stunning. I asked myself, what would you think of me? Would you leave me? Would you think I was a creep? Would you abandon me?”, he exclaims. You take your hand and place it on his cheek, his features softening a bit.

“What am I supposed to do now, hmm? Do we forget everything we said and go back to pretending? Or are you going to abandon me?”, he asks, genuinely he is terrified of your answer.

“I would never abandon you Caleb but I am done pretending”, you say looking into his eyes, the once soft purple color turned into a deep violet.

He takes a moment to look at you and then down at your lips then back up to your gaze.

“Y/n if we do anything there is no going back. No more pretending to be innocently tied to each other. I can’t go another second knowing what I know now. This is your out.”, he says looking at you with desperation. Hands that were once spread beside your face now clenched.

“I don’t want an out. I just want you, only you, it's always been you”, you place your hand from his cheek to behind his neck and play with the strands of hair there.

That's all it takes before he crashes his lips against yours. Moving his hands and wraps them arounds your waist, pulling you insanely close to his chest. His lips were exactly how you imagined it, soft with a hint of mint from his lip balm he always uses. His lips in perfect harmony with yours, he deepens the kiss, it feels desperate and hungry. He licks at your bottom lip to ask for permission to enter, which you grant him. He doesn’t come up for air once and walks backward until you both meet his bed as he sits down and pulls you into his lap, your thighs on either side of him.

You take the moment to pull away for a second trying to catch your breath.

“Sorry, I’ve just been waiting so long to do that, you have no idea.” he says, kissing your cheek and making his way down your jaw line.

“I think I could guess, since I’ve been waiting too”, you smile when you feel him smile against your skin between kisses. His mouth makes its way down your neck, basking in the feeling of him leaving marks behind you let out a soft moan.

After hearing your sounds he wants you to do it again and again and again. After his torture on your neck he licks a stripe from your sweet spot up to your ear where he gives it a little nibble.

“All this time wasted, when I could have been touching you like this”, he says breathlessly as he helps you lift your cami top off along with your cardigan.

You gasp at his words, after leaving you topless, you help him take his shirt off as well. He throws his hat across the room, leaving his top half with only his necklace on.

You take a moment to admire his figure and experimentally drag your index finger from his becks all the way down the middle of his toned abs and just below his belly button. His skin warm to the touch and his chest rising and falling rapidly. You see his bulge from his blue jeans, before you can reach for if he grabs your wrist.

“Pipsqueak, are you sure?”, he says looking at you one last time to get your consent. You think it's sweet how he keeps asking but you want him to pounce on you already.

“Yes, enough with the pipsqueak”, he tell him and he smirks.

“Okay baby”, he says as he grabs your cheek and merges your lips together once more. He grabs your back and switches positions to where you are lying underneath him on the mattress.

“You are so stunning”, he says, kissing your collarbone all the way to your shoulder. You have goose bumps all over your skin from his mouth. Moving your fingers through his hair you sigh. You can feel your arousal in your underwear starting to pool. You need him desperately.

“Caleb please, I need you”, you moan. Caleb moves back to your neck, licking and sucking at your sweet spot.

“I want to savor this moment, I don’t know when I’ll get another chance like this again”, he says against your skin. He moves away from your neck and looks into your eyes and then to your chest.

You grab one of his hands and place it over your still covered breasts and squeeze his hand giving him the okay to touch you.

He reaches behind your back and unclasps your bra after a few seconds and throws it across the room somewhere. He focuses back on your chest. Giving one of your breasts a gentle squeeze. The feeling of his big hands kneading, earning a little whimper from you. Your breasts fitting perfectly in his hands he starts to knead the neglected one. Your hand finds place in his soft hair once again as he kisses his way down from your chest to your abdomen to the area just above where you need him most.

He settles himself between your thighs once he lets go of your breasts. Pinching your nipples before letting go, causing you to gasp.

He looks up at you from his position looking for approval.

“Caleb, I haven’t done this before. I’m a little embarrassed”, you confess, you know you can tell him anything but this is all new to you. This is the most intimate you have ever been with anyone. But he knew this, this was his first time too.

“Don’t worry, we can stop if you want to, just tell me at any time, okay? Don’t be afraid to speak up, you trust me right?”, he asks you, eyes peering up at you from the waistband on your denim skirt.

“Yes Caleb, I trust you. Please touch me, do anything”, you beg him, squeezing his hand.

“Don't worry, I’ll make you feel good baby girl”, he says while unbuttoning and unzipping your skirt. He slowly drags it down your legs along with your panties in one motion.

The hot environment hitting your now completely bare body and Caleb pauses to admire you.

He scans you entirely, making you bashful and wanting to hide yourself. You go to close your legs but Caleb puts his hands on your knees and spreads them back open.

“Don’t get all shy on me now. Let me take in all of you”, he says as he is trying to process seeing you bare for the first time, all for him. This makes his dick twitch in his pants and he grunts trying to calm himself down. He wouldn’t live it down if he came in his pants before he had the chance to feel you around him.

He positions himself between your legs once again, Kissing from your knees and slowly up to your inner thighs.

The anticipation is killing you, you need him to touch you, to do anything.

“Please Caleb, need you so bad”, you beg and make eye contact with him.

He wastes no more time and gives your inner thigh one last kiss. He positions your thighs on his shoulders and leans down, placing a gentle kiss to your clit.

You gasp finally feeling the contact you have been craving. He has barely done anything but you tug on his hair because of how good it felt.

He groans and lets his tongue explore your heat. Licking and sucking between your folds and going back up to your clit to give it a gentle suck.

You try to close your legs around his head because of how intense the pleasure is but his strong arms keep them spread open for him.

“Oh my god Caleb-“, you moan a bit louder as you move your hands in his hair. Trying to find leverage of some sort.

His tongue works its way to your hole, thrusting in a few times, making your arousal pool out of you. You are unbelievably wet and his warm slick tongue is making a mess of you.

“Ugh more, more please Caleb”, you moan out. He moves his mouth backup to wrap his lips around your clit to give it another suck while he inserts an index finger into you. Your body jolts up from the mattress causing your back to arch and your nails to dig into his sheets.

“Fuck, don’t stop”, you moan and tug at his hair again, He moans against you causing a vibration on your clit and making you lose your mind.

He starts to kitty lick your clit while he inserts a second finger, making sure to do a scissoring motion to help stretch you out for him.

The feeling is new but feels so so good. You close your eyes and start to grind into Calebs face. He moans into your heat again and you are almost to your limit.

“I’m gonna cum”, you warn him. He sucks on your clit again and moves his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace.

“It’s okay baby, cum for me”, Caleb says against you, giving your clit a few more licks before sucking it harshly one more time.

You moan loudly as you come undone on his face. Caleb doesn’t stop and works you through your orgasm. Making sure to relish in your taste before you come down and he pulls away.

He positions himself over you again looking down at your fucked out face.

“Was that okay?”, he asks, remains of your orgasm still on his chin. You take a moment to wipe it off of his face and pull at his necklace so he leans down to kiss you. Your lips move more in sync together, this kiss filled with more passion.

You break away and say, “it was perfect, but I need you inside of me.”

Caleb stands up and pulls down his jeans and boxers. His length fully hardened to the point you think it's probably hurting him. His dick super red with veins popped out along it. He ignores your gaze on his dick when he realizes something.

“Y/n I don’t have a condom. I don’t keep them because I don’t need them but now..”, he trails off.

“It’s okay, we can do it without one. I have an IUD for my periods remember and we are each other's firsts so”, you mention to him.

“You’re right..oh fuck”, he sighs realizing his first time with you will be raw.

He moves back on top of you and locks his lips with yours again, lowering himself to where his dick is settled on your folds. He takes the base of his cock and drags it into your folds collecting your arousal and slick from your previous orgasm to lubricate himself.

“Y/n I don’t think I’ll last long. You feel so good”, he says gripping the sheets beside your head.

“It’s okay, I won’t either”, you giggle and he slightly chuckles into your neck.

“One second, lift your hips up”, he says as he grabs a pillow from beside your head and places it underneath your hips.

“I heard this will make you feel better and hopefully not hurt as much. I prepped you so it shouldn’t feel as painful as it would without it”, he says going back to rubbing himself between your folds, his tip touching your clit making you moan into his mouth.

“When did you learn all this?”, you ask him, feeling him align his tip to your entrance.

“Online, I wanted to be prepared if the day were to ever come, I just didn’t think this would actually happen”,he states, giving his length a few pumps.

“Please Caleb, need you”, you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I’m gonna go slow, tell me at any point if it hurts too much and I’ll stop alright?”, he asks. You nod but he doesn't do anything yet.

“I need to hear you say it y/n”, he states firmly.

“Yes Caleb”, you say while kissing his cheek.

He smiles, “good girl”.

You feel him slowly push his tip in, causing both of you to groan.

“Fuuck”, he drags out his moan, burying his head into your neck.

“Keep going”, you moan and he starts to move inside of you, taking him in inch by inch.

“You are doing so good, my good girl”, he says, kissing your neck.

You wrap your legs around his waist causing him to slip into you completely. Burying himself inside and his tip touching your cervix.

“Y/n”, he moans into your ear. You can’t believe how deep he is inside of you, You can feel every vein of his dick sitting snugly in your core.

“You okay?”, he manages to slip out between moans.

“Yes, you can move now”, the stretch was just uncomfortable at first but now seems okay.

He waits for a few more seconds, he pulls out and gives a slow thrust back in. Causing you both to moan.

“Oh fuck y/n, you’re so tight”, he moans right next to your ear. You slightly scratch at his back causing him to whimper.

“Faster, I can take it”, you urge him on. He lifts his head and gives your forehead a kiss.

He begins to move his hips faster and a bit harder. Both of your bodies are moving along with your hips.

“yes, oh my god don’t stop”, you palm at his back, reaching for something to hold onto.

“You feel so good baby, squeezing around me like this. Had to take a cold shower last night because of you; after that little stunt you pulled. I have to admit, you’re so sexy when you’re mad”, he begins to thrust faster, getting a rhythm down. You squeeze around him again, earning a groan from him.

“How am I not supposed to see you everyday after this huh? I need you by my side, every minute of every day. It’s like I crave you.”, he says grinding his hips so deep he finds your g-spot. You practically scream his name. He smirks and starts angling himself in that spot so he can hit it everytime, making your vision blurry.

“And now that I finally got a taste, I don’t think I can stop”, he looks into your eyes as he fucks you into the mattress. Bed squeaking and the echoes of where your bodies are connected make your cheeks blush.

“I’m cumming, I-I’m cumming Caleb” you gasp, unable to tell what's reality anymore as he continues to tell you sweet nothings.

“Cum for me baby, wanna feel you come undone around me. Let me see how beautiful you are when you cum, just for me, only for me”, he says kissing your ear.

That's all it took for you to cum around him. Your body shaking from the intensity, scratching Caleb's back, definitely leaving marks all over. Caleb kisses and fucks you through your orgasm and pauses his thrusts when he cums.

He watches you come undone and he shoots his seed into you while you contract consistently around him. Throwing his head back as he has the most euphoric moment in his life, and sharing it with you.

After a few final thrusts back into you, milking him for all he’s got; Caleb practically collapses on top of you.

You both are dripping sweat, you can feel how wet his hair is as his head is resting on your chest. You both stay silent but it's a comfortable silence. You play with a few strands of his hair and rub the back of his neck.

“I love you”, you hear him say just above a whisper. You’re heart melting hearing him say it in a romantic way for the first time. He raises his head to look up at you.

“I mean it y/n, I love you so much. I have loved you for so long, I can’t even remember anything before you”, he confesses. You stroke his face and he leans into your palm.

“I love you too. More than you’ll ever know”, you reply. He leans in to kiss you and this one felt different. It was soft but had a meaning behind it, feeling loved by him.You break away and you both let out a giggle.

“We should probably get cleaned up. You wanna take a shower with me?”, he asks you with his eyes focusing on yours. He looks like a golden retriever waiting for a treat.

“I guess as long as you won’t be weird about it”, you tease him.

“Y/n, I literally was inside you 2 minutes ago, I think we are past that now dontcha think?”, he laughs. You swat at his shoulder but he grabs your hand and places a kiss on the inside of your palm.

“Come on, let’s get you all cleaned up”, he says, getting off of you and holding out his hand. You take it but immediately get swept off your feet.

“Caleb!”, you shout and he laughs, he is holding you bridal style and starts to carry you to the bathroom.

“I don’t want you to have to walk until you are clean. Now hop in, I will get some towels ready for us”, he states letting you get warm under the water as you step past the glass door and into the shower.

He quickly joins you after setting out a change of clothes and towels for each of you for when you get out. When he steps in he immediately starts to help you by washing your hair, applying shampoo and conditioner and even lathering your body with soap. He takes a washcloth and helps you clean between your legs and your inner thighs. You do all the same things but repeat it to him. He leans down so you can lather his scalp with conditioner. After you both are clean he helps dry you off with a towel and wraps your hair in another one.

You both get changed into your pajamas and he offers to blow dry your hair, like he always does.

He admits to you that he used to love it because it was the only thing he could do to get close to you.

After finally getting comfortable you both head back to his bedroom.

“Oh, I should probably put my sheets in the washer downstairs”, he says as he pauses mid step.

“Ah, I’ll do it tomorrow, if they stain then they stain” he laughs.

“Caleb oh my god, you need to go wash them”, you tell him.

“No, it's too far and I wanna lay here with you anyways.”, he says gesturing for you to lay down in “your” bed first.

You get in and lay down and caleb joins you soon after. He lays down facing you as he wraps his arms around your figure and looks down at you.

“So this may be silly but I feel I still need to ask”, he chuckles as he puts a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“What is it?”, you question him, butterflies going crazy in your stomach having him hold you like this.

“Can I be your boyfriend?”, he asks you softly.

“Caleb, I feel like that was pretty obvious”, you giggle at his soft face.

“I know it's silly but can you just say it”, he asks again. Him wanting reassurance from you.

“Yes Caleb, you can be my boyfriend”,you say as you hide your face in his chest.

“Am I still dreaming? Pinch me please”, he says and you pinch his nose in response.

“Ouch, that actually hurt pipsqueak. Oh wait, can I not call you that anymore?”, he asks with a little bit of sadness in his voice.

“You can’t call me that on dates or in the bedroom, other than that it’s still okay. But no head pats, I don’t want to be treated like a kid anymore”, you say firmly.

“That's going to be a hard habit to break.”, he says while rubbing his temple.

“Everytime you have the urge to do it, replace it with this”, you suggest as you lean up and kiss his soft lips. The peck doesn’t last very long and when you pull away Caleb’s cheeks are left with a tint of pink.

“I could get used to that”, he says and leans in to give you another peck.

The night ends with you both falling asleep in each other's arms. Except Caleb forgot to put a nasal strip on so you got to hear his snoring all throughout the night.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

a/n: hi, i think i like this one waaaaayy better than the previous zayne one. what did you guys think? I think I did well encapsulating his character :) Sylus next perhaps??

[yelenasbraid]

JOE BURROW — curing nostalgia

summary — post-grad is lonely. your boyfriend attempts to help.

warnings — fem!reader, angst, fluff, self-indulgent because post grad is slowly killing me, some random names used for friends, so sorry if i use yours on accident!

note — sorry for being MIA. depression has been kicking my ass ugh :( anyways! i’m back! and this is to help push y’all over while i’m finishing maintaining professionalism part 6.

tags — @starsinthesky5 @joeyburrrow @joeyfranchise @jburrgf @wickedfun9 @hotburreaux @softburrow @kazsbrckkers @iosivb9 @ebsmind @burrowdarling @blairsworld22 (comment/send an ask if you want to be added!)

YOU FLIPPED THROUGH PHOTO ALBUMS. The pictures of you and your friends, the memories that rushed to the surface. You gently lined the page with your finger, remembering the moments illustrated on the pages. You remembered loving physical photos in case something happened and all of your digital photos were erased. You cherished these moments, and you wished you could go back and live that life again. You lived so far from your friends, living on different paths. You were proud of them, but you wanted to see them.

Life in cincinnati was bliss. You lived with your boyfriend, and you made friends with some of the WAGs, but nothing filled the hole that was left after college. You shoved it aside for a couple of years, but every now and then, seeing your college football team play, it would churn up memories. The cups of overpriced alcohol. The upsets. The hugs from friends. You still had the jersey your mom bought you for your birthday one year.

But you were living a different life, now. Your friends knew that, too. You didn’t tell Joe, though. What would you tell him? That everytime you drove on the highway, you got flashbacks to driving to school? That you still grieved the loss of your college years?

You turned a page as footsteps came into the living room. You looked up and saw Joe walking in, sitting next to you. He looked comfortable with his sweats and his baby pink sweatshirt. His eyes were soft, holding yours in his.

“What’s that look for?” you asked him, a smile blossoming on your face.

“You only pull out the photo album when you’re feeling nostalgic,” he gestures to the album. He understood how hard it was for you. After college, you uprooted and moved back home, and then moved in with him. Because of the distance, you’ve not seen your friends in a long time. Your schedules weren’t exactly on the same timeline either. He knew you thrived off of your friendships. He also knew you missed them, and it’s been especially hard.

“Yeah well, guess i’ve been feeling nostalgic,” you joked. It’s only been two years since you graduated, but it still felt weird. You should be back there, with your friends, eating sappy dining hall food and too-sweet campus coffee. It didn’t help you still followed your college’s football team on Instagram, silently watching and hoping for wins, despite not being there.

Joe leaned against you, gently placing his chin on your shoulder, looking over and observing the pictures. He remembered some of these moments, he remembered you telling him about them. One picture in particular stuck out to him, the one with you at the coffee table in your apartment, homemade tacos in front of you and your friends.

flashback

“I’m so nervous, Joey, are they going to like them?” You were on the phone with Joe while ground beef browned in a pan.

“Y/N, babe, you’re an amazing cook. They’d be crazy not to like your food. Plus it’s tacos, you can’t go wrong with tacos,” he assured you. Doing long distance was hard, but you made it work.

“You’d be surprised,” you chuckled, continuing to stir the ground beef around.

“Your heart for your friends is evident, love, and they should see that over whether or not they like your tacos,” he told you. Joe saw the heart you gave to everyone, and he was lucky enough to get just a slice of that.

“You’re right you’re right,” you sighed after a few moments. There was a knock at your apartment door, and you turned to walk to the door.

“Sounds like your guests are here,” he hummed.

“They are, I’ll talk to you after?” you suggested before you unlocked and opened the door.

“Of course, I need to know how those tacos tasted. Send me pictures!” he told you, sounding like his mother.

“I will,” you giggled, opening your apartment door and greeting your friends with open arms.

end of flashback

“Have you talked to any of them recently?” Joe asked as you turned a page.

“I talked to Leslie the other day about one of our other friend’s engagement, but I haven’t spoken to her since,” you replied. Leslie was one of your closest friends, but she worked hours away in a different state. Getting together was hard; you could barely manage phone calls.

“You should plan a trip to see them,” he suggested. As much as Joe loved coming home to you, seeing you here with him, and just being around you, he couldn’t deny you the human need for friendship. What kind of person would he be if he did that? A bad one, that’s what.

“I just don’t know when. They all have very different schedules and I’ve tried to get with them, but it never works,” you sighed, closing the book. It sounded pathetic, but you yearned for the friends you made in college. You weren’t diminishing the friendships you made in ohio, especially with some of the other WAGs, but you didn’t have as deep of a relationship with them as you did with your college friends.

Joe wrapped you in his arms, bringing you into his lap. You cuddled into him, taking in his scent and his touch. You loved him, and you loved being around him. He was your best friend all while being your boyfriend, but there were some needs he couldn’t fulfill. He knew that, and you knew that.

As he held you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, an idea came to life in his head. What if your friends came to you?

a few days later

You shuffled around the kitchen, your fingers flitting over the brownies you were making. Joe told you that his parents were joining you for dinner, so you decided to make brownies.

You spread the chocolate concoction in a glass, buttered pan, humming along to soften music that played through your phone. The kitchen was warm, the heat prickling your skin as you slid the pan of brownies into the oven.

Just then a knock echoed through your home. You wiped your hands on a towel as Joe stood from the couch.

“I got it,” he grinned. It was the kind of grin that crinkled his eyes, that lit up his face. He loved his parents, but his brightened expression told you that he had something up his sleeve.

You watched the entryway wearily, your view obscured by a wall. Your ears strained for voices, the door opening and voices sounding through the hallway.

“She’s in the kitchen,” you heard Joe whisper. Why was he whispering? Your heart slammed against your chest, your palms sweaty with your nerves. What the hell was going on?

He wasn’t the one to come back into your field of vision. A shorter woman was, and your eyes widened. Your body froze as Leslie’s eyes lit up, as she ran to you, enveloping you in a bone-crushing embrace.

Your eyes brimmed with tears as you saw the rest of your college roommates file in. You wrapped your arms around Leslie, your chest stuttering with the breaths that you took. Warmth spread over your body, your limbs numb from the sheer joy that lit your face.

Your friends were back. After years of being apart and seeing each other through a screen, you finally had them again. Your other roommates encased you, the four of you standing together in the kitchen. Their arms were a fortress, a place to go for refuge. You held onto them, and as you pulled away, Leslie held your cheeks in her hands.

“Didn’t think you’d be living in a mansion,” she joked, and you laughed. You wiped your watery eyes, giving individual embraces to each of your friends. Each embrace was intentional, filled with your longing and a display of how badly you’d missed them. You finally pulled away from them, wiping your eyes with shaky hands.

“This is crazy,” you chuckled, feeling tears burn your eyes again. These were your friends, your people, and they’d found their way back to you.

“What’s crazier is me getting a DM from your boyfriend a few days ago,” another friend, Sam, spoke up. Your eyes narrowed, intrigue dawning on your flushed features.

“What?”

“Yeah, Joe messaged us on Instagram a couple days ago asking if we were available to come visit. Luckily we were, so he booked us flights and we found ourselves in a castle of a home,” Leslie spoke up, making you chuckle. Your eyes flicked to Joe, who leaned against the doorway. He’d definitely snapped photos, something else to add to your photo album. But he was just happy to see you happy, to see the tears in your eyes from sheer joy.

You parted from your friends, walking up and throwing your arms around Joe. He welcomed the embrace, wrapping his arms around you. He buried his face into your neck, his heart clenching in his chest.

“Thank you,” you whispered into his neck, your heart warm and steady. Your stomach was full, but it growled with the desire for brownies.

“Don’t thank me,” he hummed against your neck. He pulled away, cupping your face into his hands. His eyes were soft, filled with affection and a warmth that only he had for you. He kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger there.

“Go and have fun, sweetheart. I’ll be here when you come back,” he promised. Seeing joy fill your chest was something he’d never get tired of seeing. He’d never get tired of being the one to make you happy, even if he brought the joy to you. He knew you needed your people; he wasn’t the only important person in your life.

“Ok,” you smiled, the bubbles of excitement and a foreign yet familiar sensation of giddiness making you giggle. You kissed him sweetly on the lips before you returned to your friends. They had plenty of thoughts on your intimacy with your boyfriend, to which you blushed and argued back. Joe just watched for a moment, watching you indulge in the friends that made you.

He pushed off of the wall and walked up the stairs and into his office. He could hear your laughs from his office, and it only served to make him smile. He knew you’d always come back to him, but right now, he knew you needed your girls.

[hanniescookie]

i like you, i'm sorry - ljh

pairing - ljh x f!reader

genre - fluff, alternate au

warnings - kissing, fluff, a tiny bit of angst if you squint but happy ending

summary - jihoon is your classmate and crush since freshman year at music school, but when you get to know what he really thinks about you, you can't help sinking in a heartbreak.

author's note - MY FIRST EVER FIC THAT I'M ONLY A LITTLE PROUD OF??? @jjjjeonww // my love, my wifey, my precious faith, here's my first piece of writing on tumblr for you!! you're the first person who made me feel welcomed on tumblr without even trying, and you know exactly why you're so dear to me, so take this appreciation token and have fun w it 🤍 don't let any XY chromosome dull your spark when uji is here <3

-------------------------**~~**--------------------------

You type away the last bit of your lyrics on your laptop, and then sigh out loud. It's been a hectic day — one that has made you cry. Many assignments were piled up that you barely got done at the last minute, and if that frustration wasn't enough, you were belittled by your very own crush.

Lee Jihoon.

The guy you've liked since freshman year. It never helped that he was never mean to you so like the simple girl you were, you always glorified the bare minimum he provided you with.

If he sat beside you in class because there was no other seat available, you'd take it as a sign. How dumb.

He never really shattered these delusions of yours anyway. He took the ice cream you gave him as an excuse just to speak to him. He answered all your questions about the lessons that you had understood well enough and taught you a little bit of piano too when you asked. He even texted first so many times and responded to your texts really well.

So you had no reason not to feed in your bubble of delusion. Well, not until today.

It was a routine music theory class early in the morning when he sat beside you. You felt butterflies flutter in your belly the longer you stared at him (you tried not to). You were determined to try and talk a little more to him today — at least more than the hi, good morning, how was your day, is this seat available kinda stuff.

However, right after class ended, some of your classmates surrounded him, asking him questions about the lesson. It was a known fact that Jihoon was a genius, and was always praised by the teachers. It felt like he was born to make music. Hence, often times, like today, people came up to him for help.

He wasn't entirely pleased with being cornered like that, but he was still kind enough to help. You sat in your place, watching and listening as the conversations slowly shifted from one topic to another. Jihoon's focus was on the many people in front of him, and his back was facing you now. That should have made you feel ignored, or at least insulted, but it didn't. Not at that time. You were busy listening to his voice as he talked to everyone.

Then those words left his mouth — the ones that have now bled in your lyrics, the ones that made you cry and the ones that made you resent him.

"What do you think about Y/N?"

Somebody had asked him — you can't recall who it was, but definitely one of the girls who never seemed to like you.

Jihoon's response had come with a little laugh — like he was joking. "Oh, she's just an annoying classmate."

You didn't wait to notice if he'd notice you leaving after that. You just left, carrying your bag over your shoulder as tears pricked your otherwise soft eyes.

And now here you are, four hours later, sitting in an empty classroom and staring at the lyrics you penned out of your heartbreak. Well, this will pass too, you tell yourself, pressing save on your document.

"Why are you sorry for liking someone?"

You yelp when you hear a voice directly behind you, turning your head instantly to see Jihoon bent over your shoulder. He stands back with a little smile, pointing towards your screen with his chin. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. The words looked interesting."

Baffled, you turn back to see your now saved document still displayed on the screen. The bold title says, "I like you, I'm sorry."

Your face feels warm suddenly, and the tears you had successfully hidden threaten to come out. You grit your teeth, trying to keep your composure when he sits beside you. "You can't just peek in my work. It can be personal."

He looks at you, a little alarmed at your tone — something he's not used to hearing. His expression turns only a little concerned, almost guilty. You can't catch the emotion exactly. "Is everything alright?"

You try not to, but you snap anyway. "Yeah, no. Nothing is quite alright. You don't get to call me just an annoying classmate and then sit here looking all concerned like I mean something to you."

You watch a flicker of uncertainty cross his features, and he looks surprised if you can gauge correctly. For several seconds, he tries to find words and you wait — really wait like you always have. Maybe it's because you're frustrated, but your patience runs out.

You shut your laptop, and stuff it in your bag, preparing to leave. If leaving is what you do best, so be it.

But Jihoon decides he doesn't want to watch you leave. At least not before he even tries his luck. His fingers close around your wrist, pulling you to sit back beside him. You land a little too close to his face, your knee brushing against his.

It's the closest you've ever been to him, and even though you're genuinely very hurt, your heart betrays you. It beats faster, finding comfort in his beautiful eyes that you fell for.

"Y/N," he speaks, soft and slow, and you feel like melting on the spot. He continues, "I didn't mean it."

"Huh?"

He breathes, closing his eyes for a second before looking back in your confused ones. "I didn't mean what I said. It was just– oh god, I'm stupid. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to say that."

You wait for him to finish explaining, but he's quiet again, just looking at you through his lashes as if he's confused himself. He shakes his head a little, sighing, before he speaks again.

This time, it's a question. "Do I mean something to you?"

Your breath hitches a little, tongue darting out to swipe across your dry lips in nervousness. Any hurt you'd felt in the morning flies out of the window, and you can only focus on Jihoon and his soft voice, asking you a question so intimate.

You can't help it — your head nods itself once, and you're so glad it does because the way Jihoon smiles is priceless. You'd do anything to keep seeing the sight.

"I'm honoured," he says, smile softening. "And so very guilty for hurting you. I always assumed you probably find me annoying because I deliberately come late just to sit beside you, and I text you and I'm always looking at you. I kind of projected my problem on you. I thought that saying that would make me believe it and you'll hate me anyway."

You stare at him in complete disbelief, blinking owlishly for longer than you should. He's starting to chuckle at his own absurdity. "I didn't know how to deal with how much I like you. I also didn't know you felt the same."

You swallow, feeling warmth flood your face the longer you look at him. Slowly, you move a little away, your eyes traveling back to the desk in an attempt to not be any more flustered. Your heart runs a marathon and you genuinely don't know how to wrap your senses around your current situation.

"Jihoon I—" you begin to speak, but he holds your hand softly, smiling. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

If the sky were to fall on you right now, you'd gladly be buried underneath with a smile on your face. Your lips tilt up, curling into the smile that Jihoon absolutely adores.

And you nod again, this time with more firmness than before. His smile widens, but only enough to keep it soft. His eyes flicker to your lips for a second before he asks, "Can I kiss you then?"

This time, you don't nod. You're way too flustered to do that. You simply lean forward, and capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

Just like that, an empty document in your laptop awaits your new lyrics about your newfound experience — one that's too surreal to feel real.

[goreandbunnies]

❝ 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚛!𝚂𝚞𝚔𝚞𝚗𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 ➺

Inspired by @sweetlandspos ‘s fanart ♡

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

You see him again on campus a week later as you’re eating lunch in the park, nose in a book, not noticing that he spotted you from a mile away and has been watching you for a moment until he grew too impatient to wait any longer. 

Dealer!Sukuna who sits across from you on the picnic table, wearing shades and grinning like he just won the lottery. He leans in and peeks at the cover of the book you’re reading, snickering when he sees the spicy themed cover. 

“I knew you were a fun one under that shy attitude,” he teases before picking up a fry from your lunch and munching on it, his pink hair dancing in the warm breeze as you look up at him. 

“What do you want?” You ask, trying to sound resigned and confident but you almost choke on the words. 

You’ve been thinking about him. Of course you have. The campus’ bad boy offered you to spend a night with him and you just ran away like a scared cat. You were torn between shame and regret but also still deeply turned on by the memory of that night. The missed opportunity drove you mad, until now. 

Dealer!Sukuna kept his promise to himself and started chasing after you. 

“Do you want the polite version or the truth?” He asks back, grinning before placing a cigarette between his teeth. He leans back, throwing his shades on the table as his knee gently bumps into yours under there, sending electric shockwaves between your legs.

“Both,” you reply shyly, smiling a little. No harm in chatting with him and teasing back, right? 

“Well first I’d like us to be friends, baby,” he shrugs, drawing attention to the tattoos on his massive arms, his black tank top clinging to his upper body and not doing a good job at concealing how huge he was. He nods at you and leans over, you mimic him, like two friends sharing a secret. “Then I’d have you in my bed, making sure I’d ruin you for other men in the future. Fictional or real,” he adds mockingly, glancing at your book. 

Your breath is hitched, you feel too hot in your own skin and his presence crushes you in the best way. He’s intoxicating, much like the drugs he likes to consume. You wish you could be free to give in, to want him back openly, maybe even make him work for it a little since he wants it - you - so bad. But your studies are too important, you’re too focused on your goal to ruin your chances because of a frat boy. No matter how tempting. 

“I- I’m not interested, sorry,” you tell him, frustration and regret gnawing at your gut. 

Dealer!Sukuna who sees right through your lies. He knows the effect he already has on you. 

“One night, that’s all I’m asking for,” he offers, finishing his cigarette and crushing the butt on the wooden table. “If you don’t want to see me again after that, I’ll let you go,” he lies. But you believe him and this time, it’s too tempting to refuse. Again. 

Besides, one night of fun can’t be that harmless. Most students get trashed weekly and yet they still graduate. One night to unwind with the hottest guy on campus wouldn’t put your plans in danger. It’s been forever since you’ve had some adult kind of fun, sticking to smutty books to make sure not to get attached or too distracted by a real man. 

“What do you say, Princess?” He insists, one of his long legs sliding between your pressed thighs, prying them open. You let him. 

He doesn’t look like the type of guy who gets attached anyways. You tell yourself that you can spend that one night with him then just lie, tell him it wasn’t that good and get back to your bland, boring life. You already know any sex with him would be life changing. It scares you a little. He scares you even more. 

“Okay,” you eventually give up, heart pounding in your chest. 

Dealer!Sukuna whose eyes light up with malice and excitement the second that small word comes out of your mouth. He’s not the type to work for things, he’s used to people coming to him and giving everything he wants on a silver platter. 

This is a first for him. Just like it’s a first for you too. You’ve always made sure to keep away from trouble and he always stuck to the wilder girls out of habit. None of them had sparked a similar interest in him. 

His hand reaches out and cups your chin gently. His hand smells like the cigarette he just smoked and this alone ignites something in your lower belly. 

“Clear your schedule for me tonight then,” he demands, impatient. You shake your head. 

“Not tonight,” you feel stupid for saying no yet again. But you need more than an afternoon to prepare yourself for a whole night with him. 

Dealer!Sukuna who lets go of your face, huffing as he collects his shades on the table and snatches a pencil from your stuff. He scribbles his phone number on the margin in the book you’ve stopped reading. 

“Up to you now, princess,” he slides the book back to you before getting up, his playfulness gone as he leaves you there, alone. 

Your face falls as you glance at the phone number, feeling like you’ve just lost your opportunity to step out of your comfort zone. The one chance to experience more. Defeated, you collect your belongings and head to your next class. 

The entire lecture, your mind is on the number written in that book, wondering whether or not you should text him and apologize - what for, being a coward? Or simply tell him that you can’t see him tonight because you’re too nervous. You end up doing nothing, going along with your day. 

You’re walking to your last class when a strong hand snatches you from the corridor into a fire exit. Before you can scream, that same hand covers your mouth as you’re being pinned against a wall. Pink hair and crimson eyes come into view and you suddenly become acutely aware of the proximity between your body and his. 

Dealer!Sukuna who is just tired of waiting for a taste of his new favourite drug.

♡ Taglist : @gojoscumslut @bohoooitsme @call-memissbrightside @yuujispinkhair @seellove @s3ns4ti0n4l ♡

Dividers by @cafekitsune and @firefly-graphics

Copyright © goreandbunnies 2024-2025, all rights reserved, do not repost, use or plagiarize

[phoenixiaxia]

Shopping Surprise

I'm like, a few months way too late, but I finally wrote a fic for @jinwoosbabyboo open fic night. I'm sorry it took so long, writer's block and IRL responsibilities had me by the neck.

BUT ANYWAYS! Have this.

Sylus x notMC!Reader, gn!reader written in mind, MC is named Em in this fic, implied Zayne x MC in the fic, possibly OOC, fluff, Zayne and reader are friends

Grocery shopping can be stressful on a normal day. But when you’re shopping for ingredients to surprise your boyfriend to a meal you grew up with, it’s downright mind-breaking. Especially since both Linkon and Bloomshore markets don’t have all the ingredients you need. When you vented your frustration to Zayne, he offered to drive you to a market an hour outside the city that should have everything you needed. Which brings you to now, standing over your shopping cart in the produce section.

“Onions… lemongrass… banana shoots… collection of mints and herbs… am I missing anything?”

Zayne places the bag of limes into the shopping cart, glancing over everything in the basket. “Unless you plan on giving him watery broth, I would recommend getting some beef bullion,” He gently intones.

“What, talking from experience, Mr. Ice man?”

Zayne lifts his head, a deadpan look on his face. The only indication of his amusement is a light quirk of his lips as he shakes his head. It’s no secret that Em is not the greatest cook. You still remember her “attempt” to cook live crab, or at least two separate retellings of the event from both Em and Zayne. It’s something you lord over her whenever you can.

Regardless, he is right. You quickly look over the list in your hand before handing it over to him. “Can you head to the butcher counter and get the meats on the list? I’ll head over to the spice aisle and grab stuff for the broth.”

Zyne nods, taking the list from your hand and walking towards the back of the market. At the same time, you push the cart, navigating the crowds towards the spice aisle. You stop in front of a shelf, looking through the bullion choices. Delightfully, they have choices for specific dishes, which makes your life easier. You find the ones for the soup you need, though the boxes are not close to the front. You reach up to try and grab one of the boxes, but a large hand reaches over you, grasping a few boxes and holding them in front of you.

You turn around, jumping slightly when you come face to face with a familiar set of ruby eyes. “Sy! What are you doing here?”

Sylus smirks, his trademark smirk still on his face. “I just happened to be in the area, sweetie. But I should be asking you that question. This is outside your normal territory, kitten.”

You can’t help the pout on your lips as you take the bouillon cubes from him. It’s practically confirmed that the surprise has been spoiled, but you try to at least keep up the illusion of a secret. “Well I needed groceries that I couldn’t get in the city.”

Sylus raises an eyebrow at your reason. “Right. And that’s why you didn’t call me to drive you out here, but your doctor friend.”

As if on cue, Zayne steps up to the cart, placing a few bags of meat into the basket. He makes a point to stand at the front end of the cart, looking between you and Sylus. Lifting the list in his hand, he looks back and forth between the cart and the paper before coming to a decision.

“I assume my assistance is not needed anymore,” He places the list on top of the bags in the cart, ignoring your glare of betrayal. “I do have a few things I want to buy here, so I’ll be taking my leave.”

Without another word, Zayne heads towards the front of the market, ignoring your silent pleas for assistance. Sylus takes the moment to pick up the list from the cart, reading through the contents. A long pause settles between you two as his eyes scan the paper.

The silence finally breaks when he looks back at you. “Is this the soup that you’ve been telling me about?”

You let out a long sigh, finally accepting that you can’t keep this a surprise anymore. “Yes it is. I wanted to make this as a surprise for our next date. But clearly, I can’t even do that without your jealous ass getting his feathers ruffled.”

Sylus raises an eyebrow at that, leaning down to gently poke your forehead. “I don’t get jealous, sweetie.” He still has a smirk on his face as he straightens up, but his eyes are softer as he looks at you. “But I do appreciate you trying to do something nice for me. Next time, just let me know when you want to do something. It’s already hard enough to convince you to use my card.”

You let out a sigh, shaking your head before pushing your cart towards the checkout. You can hear him follow behind you. “Fine. I can’t do surprises around you. I’ll run all my surprise ideas through you for prior approval.”

He chuckles at your sarcasm, resting a hand on your waist as you both wait in line at the cashiers. “I’ll make sure to prioritize your requests before any other business I have to attend to.”

The payment for the groceries goes uneventful, with Sylus paying before you could even pull out your wallet. You make a point to ignore the cashier’s look of bewilderment as you both leave the supermarket. As he loads his car with your groceries, he pauses for a bit before turning to you.

“Make the chiffon cake as well.”

“Excuse me?”

“Luke and Kieran have been asking for your cake at the base. Make the chiffon cake as well.”

Epilogue

[laughatlocksmiths]

I've read Carmilla before, but for some reason I never thought much about the incest themes until this reread. Of course Carmilla and Laura's desire for each other does slightly verge on incest in the literal sense, since they're (probably?) distant biological relatives.

And I remembered that part. But it's more than that, it's all through the book. The story begins with Carmilla's first visitation to Laura, where Carmilla (as a grown woman) comes and sits by the bed of this motherless child, comforts her, and soothes her back to sleep like a parent would before drinking her blood. Then there's the infamous "Are we related? What can you mean by all this?" line, which is indeed funny as hell (Laura, please, she's trying so hard here), but in context I kind of get why this is the best guess Laura can come up with for what the hell Carmilla's deal is.

Carmilla's manipulation strategy is all about blurring boundaries: she fakes a medical emergency to insert herself into the family's domestic life, she explicitly claims a "right to [Laura's] intimacy" from the first time they speak, she showers Laura with love and admiration and "undeserved fondness" to manufacture a close relationship before there's any real reason for one to exist... the narrative vaguely insinuating both sisterly and maternal overtones to the sexual tension between Laura and Carmilla feels like a natural extension of that theme.

And it's also true that neither Carmilla nor Laura comes from a "normal" home. Laura's mother is dead, and it's a big deal in the novel that she and her father live in isolation, separated from normal extended family ties. Laura's lack of family, not just her lack of friends, allows Carmilla to swoop in and fill all those roles. And wrt Carmilla, she isn't just an evil creature, she's a creature from an evil and perverted family. "It was a bad family, [...] it is hard that they should, after death, continue to plague the human race with their atrocious lusts." I think you could read Carmilla's fixation on her descendant Laura as a twisted attempt to replace the family she lost with something better, something purer. Only she's a vampire, so she can't go near anything pure without bringing the darkness with her.

Anyway. This post is pretty all over the place, sorry, but I think this is an interesting topic.

[karikarasuno]

part one

law is handy. well, he's good with his hands. he's a surgeon after all. so when he sees you struggling to push a box that's nearly twice the size of you into your home, he's out of his car in seconds.

sure his arms are sore from working all day and he feels the beginnings of a headache prick at his temple. but he can't help himself when he sees the box you've managed to wrestle upright almost topple over and onto you.

"fuck," you whisper yell, but it's loud enough for him to hear as he quickly approaches you. his hands somehow wrap around yours where they grip the cardboard. the sudden contact startles you and you yelp, jumping back in fear.

"shit, sorry," he's apologizing immediately, pulling the large box away from you and towards himself. "you looked like you needed some help."

"oh so you came rushing over to rescue me?" you smile when you realize it's just him and not someone attempting to rob you.

"i guess you could say that," he chuckles, shifting the box that was clearly too heavy for you to carry alone to one side so he could see you. "do you want me to bring this in for you?"

he watches your cheeks form a pretty blush which satisfies him in a way he doesn't really understand.

"that would be nice actually," you say, your eyes sliding from his hands up his arms. he appreciates the attention even though he won't admit it aloud. "you're probably stronger than me anyway."

"yeah, probably," he laughs through his nose, hiking the box a few inches from the floor as he follows you inside. he didn't think his offer through first, though. because stepping into your home is like stepping into another world entirely.

his house his clean. organized. marie kondo'ed to a tee. and that's not saying that yours is a mess. it's just cluttered. every place has a thing but every thing has a place. its the definition of organized chaos. yet it feels lived in. and comfortable. and nostalgic almost.

and the smell. it’s smokey like bourbon, but with a hint of something sweet. vanilla. oddly enough, it reminds him of his brother. now he’s craving a hug. how weird.

“you can just set it there,” he hears you say, pointing to an empty space in your bedroom. chopper comes bounding out, friendly and excited. you had to hold him back by his collar so law had enough space to put the large box down.

“thanks,” you say as law straightens, “it probably would’ve taken me twice as long to lug that in.”

“it was no problem,” he says wiping his hands on his scrubs, and trying not to cringe once he remembers he’s still in his work clothes.

“yeah yeah yeah you’re big and strong, I get it,” you wave your hands around. he blushes. hard. “but you don’t gotta rub it in.”

he drags a hand down his face to settle the burn in his cheeks.

“you know, i can build it for you too," he offers, realizing that if it was too heavy for you to carry, it might be a struggle for you to build.

"no, its fine," you dismiss him, gesturing for him to follow you out the bedroom. "if you keep being nice to me i'll eventually fall in love with you."

you say it so casually. so flippantly. and he knows you're just kidding, but it still sits in his chest in an uncomfortably full way. but he laughs to cover it up.

"alright then," he says walking towards your still open front door, "the offer still stands if you ever need it."

****

cora is over. he's decided he needs to use law's grill. not that law really uses it. but he conceded to cora's request, because he promised to cook dinner. and law is very much tired of eating grilled chicken and rice since it's the only thing he has time to make these days.

"i have steak, veggies, and a tray of shish kebabs i found at the store that looked interesting so i bought them," cora says, organizing the food on an aluminum platter to take out to the lanai.

he forgets the tongs, so law grabs those from his utensil holder before following cora outside. he's just excited to get a home cooked meal to be honest.

but what causes him to pause-- to stop fully in his tracks-- is the sight of you, downward dog on a yoga mat in your backyard. directly in his line of sight. he's not sure when you took up yoga or when you started doing it outside, but he can't help but stare.

"hey," cora snaps in front of law's face, "gimme this." he steals the tongs from law's loose grip.

you've now moved into child's pose, chopper slumbering peacefully beside you. he has to force his eyes away from you, regardless of how flexible you appear to be.

“who’s that?” cora asks, fiddling with the grill to turn it on.

“just my neighbor,” law says, trying his hardest to maintain nonchalance. but you make it harder for him when he looks up again and finds you standing beside your mat and stretching your arms out over your head.

you’re in a sports bra and shorts. and that’s it.

“right so i gathered that much,” cora responds, clicking the tongs together, “but what i meant was do you know her?”

“as my neighbor, yes,” law says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. cora rolls his eyes and directs his attention back to the grill.

and maybe, in an ideal world, cora would’ve left it at that, but that’s before he sees you approaching. chopper is running enthusiastically in front of you, tongue hanging outside his mouth as he runs straight up to the screen.

“chopper, down!” you scold as he places his front paws on the door.

“i’m sorry,” you continue, grabbing chopper by the collar and tugging him down, “we’re currently working on his over friendliness.”

“it’s ok,” law says, glancing over at cora who’s staring at the interaction with a little too much interest for law’s comfort.

“hi,” you greet cora, saying your name and smiling politely.

“cora,” he replies. “this guy’s older brother.”

he tilts his head towards law, busying himself once more with the grill. and law’s pretty sure it’s not even on yet.

“Y’know,” law starts as he approaches you, “you apologize to me quite often and you really don’t have to.”

“ugh, I can’t help it,” you complain, exasperated but your lips are stretched with a coy grin. “it’s a bad habit i picked up because of my dumb ex.”

law’s surprised. he wasn’t expecting you to be so open or forthcoming. so casual about your life as if you don’t mind sharing it with him. a stranger.

“anyway, i’ll work on it,” you chuckle, letting go of chopper’s collar now that he’s calmed down again. but now that your hand is free your cross it over your body to hold onto the yoga mat that’s propped on your opposite hip. he knows you don’t do it on purpose, but the gesture presses your breasts together in a way that accidentally draws his attention.

his neck grows hot.

“speaking of, did you ever get around to building that…” he trails off when he realizes he has no idea what was inside the box.

“oh! my dresser.” you shake your head. “turns out you need tools like a drill and not just the flimsy screwdriver I have in my junk drawer.”

“i could have told you that.” he finds you endearing. which is a problem because he knows he’s starting to like you. as more than just a neighbor.

he can also feel cora’s gaze burning holes into his back. nosey son of a bitch.

“yeah well, i’m working up the courage to go to the hardware store to buy one. the men in there are just always so fucking pushy, i hate dealing with them.”

“i have a drill,” he says plainly, trying not to show his annoyance about how offhandedly you refer to the weirdos that seem to lurk in every aisle of that place. like this is just a normal occurrence for you.

“can i borrow it? that would actually save me so much time and sanity.” your eyes light up, hopeful.

“i think it would be easier if i just did it,” he offers again. it’s obvious to him and maybe to you, but most definitely to cora, that this is law’s attempt at trying to spend more time with you.

“i’m starting to think you don’t trust me,” your eyes narrow playfully, and you purse your lips at him skeptically. “and after all we’ve been through.”

you pout. feigning hurt, but your eyes are alight with something else entirely. law’s stomach flips.

“it’s an expensive drill,” he shrugs, stuffing his hands into his pant pockets, silently praying that he looks unaffected by your antics; that are absolutely working on him.

“fine, when then? i’m free tomorrow evening.”

“that works for me.”

the smile you give him is sly. knowing. and completely disarming to him.

“perfect, it’ll give me enough time to think of how I’ll return the favor.”

before he can contest to let you know that you don’t have to return anything to him, your back is facing him and chopper is following happily behind you.

he watches you leave. mostly dazed from speaking with you. and enjoying it more than he probably should have.

but his bubble bursts when cora says, “hm, next time just invite her over for dinner. maybe that’ll make it less obvious that you’re trying to get in her pants.”

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Hi, if you're still doing poppy playtime asks, mind If I ask, how would the toys react if the player saved up a lot of money and used it to buy a remote property far from any society. When asked why the player states they're going to die one day, one day they won't be around and they need somewhere to live when for when he's no longer around to take care of them. It's remote so Noone should ever run into them, it's got plenty of food either by the river, sea, forest or simply growing in the garden. It's got plenty of rooms for each of them, they just ask that the toys take care of themselves, so when they do die they'll die knowing they'll be okay

I couldn't fit everything you said into one post because it was getting long, sorry about that. Hope you like it anyway!

If you like my work, please consider commissioning me or leaving a tip on Ko-fi (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Kind of a continuation to this post.

Player who lives in a remote location

★ You got the property years ago; it's off a dirt trail far into the woods. Hard to find if you weren't actively looking for it. Could go weeks without seeing another person. You liked it, it was nice and quiet. And, conveniently, the perfect home for all the toys you could rescue.

★ It was a big adjustment for everyone. Doey, Kissy and Dogday were still shaken up over everything that had happened. Most of the mini critters seemed in good spirits, which you were thankful for. Even though the first few days were stressful, each passing day felt a bit better than the last.

★ Cartoons are constantly playing in your living room. Usually, older Disney movies or indie shows you find on YouTube. Doey tries to play peacemaker whenever an argument about what to watch breaks out.

★ Some of the smaller toys are scared of being carried away by a bird of prey. You made one joke about it, and it was taken seriously. "Watch out, or a big bird might swoop down and carry you away!" It was meant to be funny, but Bobby didn't leave the house for a good week after that.

★ The lack of light pollution makes it the perfect place to stargaze! Some of the toys who were turned at a very young age don't remember seeing stars. It's sad, but at least you can help them make up for lost time.

★ A mini-Catnap is the first to ask you “What’ll happen when you die?” It’s a heavy topic and you try not to think about it. But he has a point. What will become of everyone when you're gone? How can you prepare them for that?

★ You begin by teaching the toys basic life skills. Showing the more responsible one's cooking, the rowdy one's how to set fishing traps. And take the time to show Poppy how she can use your old sewing machine to make herself new clothes.

★ The thought of losing their protector would be unsettling. However, over time, they find solace in your home's safety and the skills you've taught them. When you're gone, everything will be okay. They have each other.

(Got the idea for some of the toys never having seen stars from this comic. Please check it out! It's really good!)