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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 4 months ago

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Part 32 - Whose bed have your boots been under?

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 31 -- Part 33

Pairing: Sy x Alicia (trans!ofc)

Summary: Sy finally takes Liz out on a date! (Which he's late for. And we know why.)

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI, anal sex (f receiving), loads of nerves, mentions of transphobia, some angst, there's a horse dildo in there somewhere, Sy not eating a girl out for a change. This one's pretty basic actually...

Word count: 5.5k

A/N: And once again, it's been a while! I've been working on this date for a long time, but I was in a smut-writing-slump for some reason. Looks like I'm out of it now! (Heck yeah!) Now if maybe I could put this energy towards my novels, that would be superduper great, but you know the muse... Finnicky, fickle little fucker. Anyway: Enjoy nervous Sy on a date!

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @summersong69 @livisss @sillyrabbit81

@ellethespaceunicorn @ylva-syverson @poledancingdinos @thelastsock @wa-ni

@proud-aroace-beastie @totalwool

“Couldn’t find a lower cut top to wear?” Dammit.

“I hate that that’s not even the worst opening line I’ve heard,” I say as I look up at Sy. I’m not wearing heels today, so he’s slightly taller than I am. I like it — not that a guy being shorter than me is a dealbreaker or anything… It’s more like… I’m tall for a girl, and that height sometimes makes me feel un-girly, which I hate. So, the fact that Sy is the kind of guy who looks like he could pick me up and throw me across a room… It helps.

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” He smiles down at me, leaning in for a kiss. I have to admit I was worried about that. All of it. When he texted me after the party, I was just waiting for him to suggest the typical ‘movie at his place’ date, but he asked me where I wanted to go, and there happens to be a Shania Twain cover band playing tonight at a bar I like.

So, I told him we’re going to a bar. Didn’t mention the part about the Shania Twain covers.

“Wanna get going?” I can’t stop my voice from trembling, and I’m sure one look at my face will tell him more than he needs to know, so I turn around and start walking.

“Any particular reason you’re walking a mile and a half away from me?” He catches up with ease, grabs my hand and turns me to face him. “What’s going on? ‘Cause I’m gettin’ the feeling you don’t want to be out here with me.”

I scoff. “Right.” Do I tell him? He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me close. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, and all that heat is making me boil over. “I’m scared you don’t want to be out here with me.”

I’m shaking, and freezing cold and boiling hot at the same time. My heart races in my throat, and I can’t bring myself to look Sy in the eye. I can’t cry. Not here. Not now.

The feeling of his hand cupping my cheek almost pushes me over the edge. “I’m sure you have a reason for feeling that way,” he says softly. I nod — a tiny little nod that I’m not even sure he caught. “Mind telling me what it is?”

Fuck. I screw my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling, but they escape anyway. “I’ve dated guys before,” I mutter. “And they were super-duper okay with me, they said… It actually took me a while to realize — scratch that… A friend had to tell me… It was always their place or mine. Never dinner, or even a movie.”

There’s no stopping these tears now. “When my friend pointed it out, I asked the guy I was seeing about it, and…”

Sy pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me. I inhale deeply on instinct. Leather. Spice. Warmth. “I don’t need to know what he said, because I’m pretty sure it would ruin my entire mood,” he says softly. That he didn’t want to be seen in public with me because he was scared it would make him look gay? Yeah, that’ll ruin your mood, alright… “But I want you to know I like you, Liz. Pretty sure I’d follow you anywhere.”

I’m laughing before I know it. “Well, that’s a good thing… Because I might have omitted a tiny little detail about the place we’re going…”

“Alright… I’ll go get us some drinks! Beer?” Without waiting for his answer — it’ll be ‘yes’ — I turn around and start to walk towards the bar. Try to, at least, because Sy grabs my arm and pulls me back until I’m standing with my back against his chest.

“I remember asking you out on a date, Liz.” His lips are right next to my ear, his beard tickles my neck, it’s… That damn cologne. Those damn, huge, strong hands keeping me pinned to him right now. “This is a date, right?”

“Yeah, Sy. It is. Wha—” He’s suddenly right in front of me, gently backing me into the wall, hands on my hips.

He leans his forehead against mine. “Let me make something very clear, sugar.” He speaks slowly, his voice dark and gruff. The sound of it shoots sparks straight down my spine, and I clench my thighs together. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before any woman of mine pays for her own drink on a date.”

Speaking. That’s a thing. Words are a thing. Do I know any? Voice… Where is my voice? Why am I just staring at him? That’s dumb. This is dumb. I’m dumb. Oh my god, what am I even doing here? “I, ehh…” Yeah. That’s not good. “Okay.”

He smirks down at me. “Beer?”

“Wine,” I manage — but barely.

Sy cocks an eyebrow. “You drink wine?” No. I don’t. But it makes me feel more feminine, and I really need that right now. “I’ve literally never seen you drink wine. Besides, people who drink wine usually tell you if they want red or white.”

“Okay, busted… I wanted to feel… girlier,” I admit.

“You dragged me to a Shania Twain cover band. We’re good on girly,” he says with a wink. “Beer?”

I nod, and semi-anxiously await his return. “You’re not mad about the music?” I ask as I take the bottle from his hand.

He chuckles as he shakes his head before raising his bottle. “To Shania Twain,” he says, “and great company.”

“Thanks so much for coming out, everyone! We’re gonna take a little break, and we’ll be right back!” The singer jumps off the small stage in the corner and makes a beeline for the bar, where she spots me. “Liz! I thought I saw you!” She’s got her arms wrapped around me before I can actually see her — during the first half of the set, the bar has gotten significantly more crowded.

“Hollie!” I love this girl, but if she doesn’t take her eyes off my man right this second, I’m throwing hands. “You’re doing amazing! How’s the cold?” It had her down for a good few days, she wasn’t even sure she’d make it tonight. I’m glad to see she’s doing well.

“Getting better! The full set is tough, though.” She downs the glass of water she’s holding. “We could use a little bit of you after this break, girl. But first, introduce me to this handsome gentleman.”

Is it totally horrible that I don’t fucking want to? I look at Sy, who casually reaches out a hand towards Hollie. “Nate Syverson. Call me Sy.”

“Well, Sy,” Hollie says with a sickly-sweet smile. Or is that my imagination? “What brings you here?”

“Liz,” he deadpans. Much to my surprise, he’s looking at me, barely even glancing at Hollie as he speaks. “She agreed to let me take her out on a date.”

“Lucky man… And you bring her here?” She gestures around the room before giving me the look.

“I dragged him here,” I admit. We go from ‘damn girl, nice! Break me off a piece of that!’ to ‘what the actual fuck were you thinking?’ in a matter of seconds. I look over at Sy — he looks insanely hot, the way he’s standing there, leaning against the bar. “Sorry, again.”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, sugar,” he reaches for me, hooking his fingers behind my belt and pulling me back until I’m standing between his legs. Those same damn legs he’s been spreading a little too casually on that damn bar stool. The ones I can’t keep my eyes off. “I like the music.”

When he excuses himself and heads off to the bathroom, Hollie grabs my arm so hard it almost hurts. “You have to sing!”

“What? No!” Actually, yes. I’m secretly dying to get up there: I love to sing. And not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m good.

“Your song’s coming up, girl! I’m not giving you a choice.” Just Hollie being Hollie. “You want him to come home with you, yes?”

Duh. Then why is the gesture I make hesitant as all hell?

“Alright! For our next song, I’d like to invite a very special guest onto the stage… Alicia Thomson!”

Sy’s eyes go wide, and he raises an eyebrow. I take a deep breath. “Well, gotta go!”

I walk up to Hollie, who’s busy adjusting the mic stand. Even in this little bar, the lights are hot. And despite that, my arms are covered in goosebumps. Haven’t done this in a while… I can still see Sy, sitting in the same place as before, his gaze trained on my face with utmost concentration.

One side of my mouth curls up into a cheeky smile. “Whose bed have your boots been under?”

“So,” Sy says when I make my way back to him after the song is done. “You sing.”

“I sing,” I reply, my smile stretching ear to ear. I forgot how great that felt… Not nearly as great as the warm hands that pull me forward by my hips until I’m standing between Sy’s thighs again.

“Woman, you are amazing,” he says with a smile. When he kisses me, it’s like my heart stops. My head spins, my knees shake — the whole nine. He keeps it decent. Why? For the love of God: Why? Words cannot express how much I need this man, literally right now, and — if at all possible— incredibly indecent.

“Wanna get out of here?” Not subtle, but incredibly effective, if I do say so myself. He doesn't even answer me; he just grabs my hand and pulls me along to the exit.

We don't talk during the drive back to my place, or on the walk up to the apartment, which gives my insecurities plenty of time to get the upper hand — especially when Sy doesn't make a move as soon as the door closes, other than wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Are you opposed to watching movies in bed in general?” Dirty smirk? Check. Playful glint in his eyes? Check. Me unceremoniously shoving him against his shoulder? Check. Ugh. Get it together, Liz. And try to maybe not maim your date. He seems fine though.

Instead of answering, I grab his hand and drag him towards my bedroom, stopping right in front of the door as a sudden wave of anxiety grabs me by the throat. Did I clean my room? Did I put everything — and, yes, I mean everything, in that way — away?

“Liz?” He leans his chin on my shoulder from behind, while his hands slowly dance over my hips, fingertips barely grazing me.

“Can I get, like... Thirty seconds? Just to see if there's anything you shouldn't be seeing...”

“And what would I be seeing?” I can’t see his face, but I can hear the grin in his voice. Yeah... What would he be seeing? I hate the way his teasing seems to shut down my brain. I hate the fact that I could tease him right back if I could just find my nerve, even more.

Get a grip, Thomson.

I conjure up a grin and turn my head towards Sy, leaning it back on his shoulder to get my lips as close to his ear as possible. “Equipment of the... mature personal entertainment variety,” I purr softly. I can feel his cock twitch against my ass, and part of me really hopes it's the voice he reacts to, instead of the message. Another part of me, however, kinda hopes he’s into… that.

“Just open the damn door,” he groans, digging his fingers into my hips. “If I don't have more of you in my arms soon...”

Despite all this big talk, I'm still more or less mortified when the first thing Sy comments on is my favorite vibrator. It's on my bed, because it needed to charge. Regardless of whether it's actually done charging... it's done now. I yank it off the charger and toss it back in the drawer under my bed.

Sy chuckles as he drags a thumb over my no doubt crimson red cheeks. “The way you're looking at me right now, all terrified and whatnot, kinda makes me want to take a dive into that drawer...”

“You're not, like... pissed? Or, I don’t know... intimidated?” Wouldn't be the first time.

“Intimidated?” He laughs — the deep, full, throaty kind that men do that's hot and, in this particular case, slightly embarrassing. “Sugar, ain't no way I'm going to be intimidated by a piece of plastic.” He's still laughing when he drops himself onto my bed and rolls to the side by the wall.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to smack that cocky smirk off his face... Maybe I can. I lie down next to Sy and reach into the drawer. “Not even this one?” I wave a whole lot of light blue silicone in his face until he grabs my wrist and looks at the toy I'm holding with wide eyes. He's definitely not smirking now...

“Sugar... Before I even ask any questions...” He blinks a few times as if that's going to magically make the dildo I'm holding up disappear — or at least transform into something that doesn't look like it jumped straight out of my — or maybe his, who knows? — OF subscriptions. “I grew up around horses. I know what that is...”

“Oh my god!” I laugh — no. Cackle. — and hide my face behind my free arm. “Sorry,” I mutter, “I'm a bit of a freak.”

“As long as we're keeping that away from me, I'm good with that,” he chuckles. “Now... Where the hell does that even go? Never mind...” He knows the answer. I know that, because the last time I saw him, I told him there was no way he was ever going to fit in my pussy. And since this thing is bigger than he is by... not even as much as you'd expect, looking at the size of that toy, really... God, the man is massive...

I put the dildo back under the bed and snuggle into Sy's side. I admire the way he just makes himself at home in my room, grabbing the remote off the shelf over my headboard. “Do we go the cheesy romcom route, or do we opt for Mike's favorite tactic?”

“I'm assuming that would be ‘worst horror movie of the century’, then ‘hold her when scared’?” I ask, and Sy nods. “What if I don't get scared?”

“I could pretend to be scared.” He smirks down at me. “But we'd have to switch positions.”

I shake my head. I'm comfortable, lying here with my head on his chest, my leg swung over his. There's one thing missing, though. Blankets. Lots of ‘em!

“It's freezing in here, sugar.” Oh? Really? I hadn't noticed! It's not like I turned the heater off before I left and opened the window... I look up at him like I don't know what he's talking about, but he won't fall for it. “Fucking hell, y'all are somethin' else!”

We get under the covers, and I sigh as I sink into his arms again. “But it's comfy, right?”

He rolls his eyes at me and turns his attention back to the TV. “Horror, romcom or something else?”

“Romcom. Anything Ashton Kutcher is fine by me.” Besides... I was actually hoping we wouldn't be watching most of it because we'd be too busy doing other things. Like making out like our lives depend on it.

Imagine my surprise — and horror — when I see an annoyingly large amount of Ashton Kutcher, and very little of Sy's body. What is he waiting for? An invitation carved in marble? I'm practically on top of him, for crying out loud! This is just rude.

And as if that's not bad enough... “Sugar, would you stop squirming?” he suddenly asks.

“I'm squirming to get your attention,” I huff. “Y'know... so you'll grab me, and kiss me, and we can get to the good stuff? You inside me, to name something...”

He winces when I say it. What kind of man winces at the prospect of sex? Okay, I mean... tons of them, probably, and for all kinds of good reasons... But Sy is known, by and large, as a bit of a slut.

“Hey!” he says, glaring at me when I point that out. “Us sluts get nervous, too.”

“Nervous about what?” Oh my God! “Shit, about what I said last time? I mean... I wasn't kidding, but... Ah. First time, right?” The nod he gives in response is damn near imperceptible. “You know we don't have to go there, right?”

“I, eh... No, that's not... Not that I... Wh— I give up. There's no way to say that in any kind of way that doesn't make it sound like I'm not here for you, but for that, and...”

“The gist of what you're not saying would be that it's every man's dream, right?” I can't hold back my laughter. “Sy, it's okay! You suffered through Shania Twain for me — even though I suspect you secretly love her — and you tell me you like me in public, I know—”

“Is the bar really that low, Liz?” He stares at me with wide open eyes, and I can't think of a single thing to say.

I shrug, tears burning behind my eyes as I barely manage to squeeze the words out: “Yeah. I mean, with guys, it sort of is...”

His fingers trail over my cheek, all the way down until they rest at the nape of my neck, and he pulls me close. “You deserve better.”

I guess we're finally done with Ashton Kutcher for tonight... Sy's lips are warm against mine as he kisses me. It's tender. Romantic. Lacking every bit of the raw, needy passion from the New Years party... I'm sure I'll get to see that side of him again sooner rather than later, though. I can feel in in the way he pulls me in, fingertips pressing into my lower back as he firmly holds my body flush against his.

He's hard — my squirming worked — but there's nothing about him or his behavior that draws any attention to the fact. What a true gentleman.

Sy pulls back and raises an eyebrow when I chuckle out loud. “Not what a man wants to hear,” he mutters under his breath, making me laugh even harder.

“I’m sorry,” I manage between fits of laughter. Am I laughing to avoid having a serious conversation about this? Absolutely! It’s way too early for that. I barely know this guy. That said, the laughter isn’t exactly helping, I suppose, so it doesn’t really matter. “It’s just that you’re trying so hard to be sweet and gentlemanly and I’m over here trying to seduce you and it feels a little… backwards? It’s funny, okay?”

His eyes darken, and when he speaks again, his voice is low and rough. “Ain’t so funny to me, sugar.” If the voice wasn’t doing it, the way he’s squeezing my ass through my jeans right now would. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been dreaming about that pretty mouth on my dick.”

Oh, so we’re playing it like that, all of a sudden? “Including that other thing I did?” I tease. It’s fun to watch his cheeks flush as he tries to keep his composure.

“I’d like to reiterate my disinterest in silicone horse cock,” he says, his voice surprisingly steady. “But otherwise; yeah.”

I look at him for a second too long, and next thing I know, we’re both laughing uncontrollably. “If we keep this up, neither of us is getting laid tonight,” I manage in between fits of laughter.

“Might be for the best…” Hey, what now? I frown — not in an angry way, but in complete and utter confusion. Sy sighs deeply and rests his forehead against mine. “I’m stalling. Under normal circumstances… No, fuck, I didn’t mean— That’s not— All I’m sa—”

He rolls onto his back and groans while I bite back a laughing fit that would most likely make him run.

“Sy,” I whisper, scared that if I speak louder, I won’t be able to control myself, “stop worrying about saying the wrong thing. These are not normal circumstances — well, they are for me, but you know what I mean. You have some leeway in the vocabulary, I promise.”

I take a deep breath and roll on top of him, straddling his hips and sliding my hands under his t-shirt. Don’t feel like laughing now, do you, Thomson? Sy groans when I roll my hips. The way he looks up at me raises goose bumps all over my body. Big hands rest on my thighs, fingers tightening with every move of my hips, squeezing me hard…

My hands are on his chest now, nails digging into his skin, leaving little half-moon marks from the pressure. His eyes are locked on mine, his breathing heavy and quick… As soon as I sit up again, he pulls his shirt over his head, and I follow suit. His Adam’s apple bobs aggressively when he swallows hard, and I smile smugly.

I appreciate being appreciated. Admired. Coveted. And Sy is giving me exactly what I need.

He sits up against the headboard, pulling me in with just two fingers hooked into the waistband of my jeans. Heated moans fill the air as he crushes his mouth against mine, sucking my bottom lip between his teeth while his hands work quickly to undo my belt and unbutton my jeans.

“Could’ve worn one with a zipper,” he growls quietly as he fusses with buttons number two and three. Yeah. I could have. He should be glad they’re not skinny jeans.

The sensation of his warm hands competing with the cold air as he moves them over my waist and the small of my back, is electrifying. To make matters worse — or better — it’s followed by a slow, sensual kiss in my neck. Then another. Then another.

He’s moving, searching, my hands clasping the back of his head, guiding him, until… There. Heady moans escape me with every pass of his tongue over that spot at the crook of my neck, every playful nibble, while every needy roll of my hips earns me a dark chuckle, muffled against my skin. One hand rests on the band of my bra, while the other is draped around my waist, pulling me down while his hand dips into my jeans and squeezes my ass.

Fuck. I need friction. Lots of it. Now! I grind down on him harder, but it’s not working — not like this. There’s too much denim. Too many clothes in general, I—

One simple move of his hand and my bra snaps open. Damn, he’s good. I sigh, my breath quivering with disappointment as his mouth leaves my neck and travels down my sternum.

Sy's barely had his mouth on my nipple for ten seconds when a sudden, harsh bite makes me whimper. “Take these fucking jeans off,” he growls, pushing me back with force. He takes care of his belt buckle with one hand. Why is that hot? “And everything else, too.”

Moments later, we’re naked, pressed up against each other, every atom of space between us one too many. I used to hate being naked — I still do, occasionally, but right now, with him… It’s wonderful. My hands roam over his chest, down his abs, exploring his body. I teasingly run a finger down the length of his cock, and he shivers, moaning into my mouth as we continue making out. It’s his turn to grind against me with burning need and impatience, and I chuckle.

It’s a powerful feeling to have a man want you this bad.

His hands linger on my ass, his touch switching between punishing and demanding, and hesitant and shy.

“You’ll have to, at some point,” I tease. He knows what I mean.

“I—” The end of his sentence is an adorably helpless, clueless look as he shrugs.

It’s a good thing I don’t mind taking point for educational purposes, or else this whole thing never would have worked out. Behind my back, I grab his wrist, and bring his fingers up to my lips. He gets the hint, biting his lip as I suck his fingers into my mouth, his cock twitching against my stomach.

I reach down between us and wrap my fingers around his hard length, while Sy very slowly and very gently eases a finger into my ass. I resist the urge to chuckle when I see his eyes go wide. Sy’s face doesn’t usually have subtitles, but I can see every thought going through his head right now in quick succession.

“I said it would fit,” I say, “not that you could ram it up there within ten seconds, no problem. Just take it easy, take your time.”

“Is it— I mean, does it…” His voice trails off into a desperate moan when I trail my thumb over the underside of the head of his cock.

“Feel good? Yeah it does.” I push back against his finger a bit. I’m five seconds away from begging him for more, faster, harder, deeper, anything… The feeling of the tip of a second finger teasing me gets my hopes up, but he stops.

“Do you have any lube?” he asks carefully.

It takes everything I have to not roll my eyes. Not only do I think that stupid questions do exist, I also firmly believe they deserve an equally stupid answer. “No, I was planning on taking this entire thing up my ass completely dry,” I snap a little too sourly as I squeeze his cock, making him groan. “Believe me, neither of us want that. That’s how you end up in the ER.”

I can barely reach my nightstand from this position, but I don’t really want to move away from him. Finally! I triumphantly pull the bottle out of the drawer. “Here you go! Don’t ration it.” He laughs when I wink at him.

He takes the advice to heart, coating his fingers in a very liberal amount of lube. I continue stroking him as my heart flutters in anticipation. My stomach is sticky with precum — his too, probably — and every stroke draws another deeply sexy moan from him while he explores me with two thick fingers, moving them as if he’s searching for some— Ah! Right.

“Wrong angle,” I moan against his skin, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

I push his hand away and lift my leg up to his hip. Sy understands immediately, reaching between my legs to continue what he was doing.

“Found it,” I say, smirking up at him when he’s found the right spot. I abandon my attempt to continue the sort-of-handjob I was working on. We both need to focus right now.

One of the best things about Sy is that he seems happy to put his ego aside for the sake of learning. He’s not insulted by instructions, and he takes advice to heart. I’d say I appreciate it, but it’s really more of a hard requirement to even get into my bed — it's been quite a while since I last wasted my time on silly little boys who don’t listen when I clearly spell out to them what feels good and what doesn’t.

Sy is a quick study, too, and I’m squirming in his arms in no time, breathing heavily against his neck, with my arms wrapped tightly around him.

“Don’t change a thing,” I moan. Pressure steadily builds inside me, and I know an earth-shattering orgasm is within arms reach, and all he has to do is keep. going. “I’m so close…”

Every perfectly steady stroke of his fingers winds me tighter and tighter until I snap. A sharp his escapes Sy when I dig my nails into his back and bite his shoulder. It’s the only thing I can do to keep myself from screaming as every fiber of my being unravels around his fingers.

He lets me catch my breath for a moment, then he looks at me, unsure how to proceed.

“One more, to be sure,” I say weakly, not entirely recovered yet. I’m pretty damn relaxed, so I don’t expect much trouble. Indeed, the next finger slips in without a hitch. Good. “Wanna give it a try?”

He nods furiously, catching himself in the act and calming down immediately to a tougher, more laissez-faire attitude. I can’t help but chuckle as I reach for the drawer again and pull out a condom.

“How, eh…” He makes a few vague hand gestures.

“The logistics?” I ask, and Sy nods in reply. “I prefer doggy, but…”

“I want to see your face,” he blurts out before I can finish my sentence. It’s sweet, he doesn’t easily look shy…

I pull him in for a kiss. It’s gentle, sweet, and clearly telling me just how nervous he is right now. When he breaks the kiss, he leans his forehead against mine and lets out a trembling breath.

“I want you on top of me,” I say softly, and he nods, moving to sit on his knees between my legs. He puts the condom on and then takes the bottle of lube, applying a generous amount to his cock before looking at me. There’s a question burning in his eyes.

I let my legs travel up his sides, never breaking eye contact, until my ankles are on his shoulders. He lifts a trembling hand, hooking it around my thigh, and pulls me closer before leaning over me. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous, sugar.”

“Look at me, Sy,” I say, cupping his face in my hands. “Just take it easy, go slow, and listen to me. That’s all you have to do.” Well, that and screw me to heaven and beyond. But let’s not tell him that right now.

He swallows hard, putting more of his weight on top of me as he uses one hand to position himself, and I feel him slowly, steadily pushing into me. It’s impossible to fight back a grin when I see his face: mouth hanging open, eyes wide at first, then screwed tightly shut…

“Easy,” I remind him gently. He’s not hurting me — not yet. “Stop for a second.” He instinctively pulls away, but I stop him. “Just stay there. Give me a second.”

My heart threatens to jump right out of my chest, and it feels like electricity runs through my veins — it’s exactly that excitement that keeps me from being able to handle this right now, and it bugs me.

Deep breath in. Hold. Breathe out.

I repeat it a few times, until I feel Sy sink into me a little further. “We’re good,” I say, my voice barely more than a breath.

Carefully, he pushes deeper into me, until his hips rest against my ass. “Goddamn, sugar,” he pants.

“Tell me about it,” I reply with a smile, relishing the feeling of his thick cock stretching me out. His first thrust makes me whine — then again, louder, when he leans down to kiss me. He sticks with a slow, gentle rhythm, in time with the way his lips move against mine. His low growls mixed with my moans fill the room, and soon I’m begging him to go faster.

“I won’t last ten seconds,” he grunts, but I don’t really care. So he sits up on his knees again and picks up the pace, his thrusts growing rougher with every move. His breathing quickens, his grip on my thighs tightens. I watch his face closely, amusement mixed in with my own desire. His eyes are closed, brow furrowed. A bead of sweat runs down his forehead. He’s clenching his jaw, lips trembling as he tries to hold on — but it’s no use.

“Fuck.”

‘Fuck’, indeed. His last thrusts are reckless, punishing, the low growl he lets slip as he finishes is music to my ears. I whine softly when he pulls out, taking a moment to adjust to the sudden emptiness.

It gets worse when he gets out of bed to clean up. I’m shivering, cold and alone, furiously wishing for Sy to come back and hold me. “Sy?” I plead. “Please talk to me.”

“What? I’ll be right there, sugar.” I know it’s ridiculous. He doesn’t even leave the room, for crying out loud! And yet I feel tiny and abandoned until Sy crawls back under the covers with me and holds me safely in his arms. “Shower?”

“Tomorrow,” I sigh, snuggling tightly against his chest. Yeah. This is alright.

#179cs #179 crescent street #henry cavill characters #henrycavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #syverson #captain syverson #syverson x ofc #syverson fanfiction #captain syverson fanfiction #syverson smut #syverson x trans!ofc

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ms-nesbit · 1 year ago

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Sleepless In Seattle (chapter 5 of Empire Records)

Summary: Y/n has a guest at her place, and things go better than planned.

Rating: 18+ (minors, fuck off)

Warnings: smut, FINALLY smut, masturbation, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), swearing, trauma

Note: this is the final chapter of Empire Records. Lmk if you like it or if you want a different fic or some kind. I enjoyed this.

Previous Chapter

ao3

It was winter now - clouds loitering in the sky, over welcoming their stay, bringing grayish drab to the rancid city below them. Gothamites acclimated, as always - they were, after all, residents of Gotham, one of the most dangerous places in the world.

Y/n left her window cracked, welcoming the cold breeze as she lit her carefully placed candles. The wind tickled her skin, and she smiled when it did - her loungewear was underwhelming considering the climate, the band tee and black track shorts failing to cover what was now being touched by the cold air.

And she cleaned her apartment to prepare for company. Jason visited y/n’s flat before, usually to stop by for a chat (which turned into hours-long debates or dabbles), but in their exchange, it was clear this time was different. Her boyfriend hadn’t explicitly stated this, but given the tone of his voice and counsel provided by her horoscope reading, Jason was going to sleep over and - sex or not - it was important for y/n, who otherwise would have left her habitat a comical mess.

The apartment doorbell buzzed, followed by a static-distorted voice: “Hey, y/n? Could you, uh, buzz me up here? I got my hands full.”

Complying, y/n shook her head and giggled, pressing the button on the intercom. She wiped off her kitchen island, half-surprised by the spaciousness of it. She forgot the material of her countertop, and she reminded herself to look elsewhere for an apartment when her contract ended.

Then, a knock in the form of words. “Y/n?”

Jason. Y/n unlocked each lock before opening the heavy door to find the tall man grinning down at her, his arms holding a couple of vinyl and a reusable grocery bag, its contents unknown to y/n. Was this his sleepover bag?

It seems not, based on Jason’s answer after y/n’s thought. “Sorry for the wait. I brought some albums we could listen to, and some ingredients to make food in case we get hungry.”

He stepped in, and y/n closed the door, eyes on Jason’s ass in his dark jeans. She relocked the doors - a move critical to Gothamites - and pointed him in the direction of the island, where a pair of chairs were pulled out. Jason commented on the cleanliness of the apartment with a zest, “Oooh, dressin’ this dump up for me?” And y/n, too proud to admit she was falling in love with the ex-Robin, she quipped easily.

“Why did you bring food, anyway?” Y/n questioned when Jason was removing the ingredients, each in their own container, bagged or rigid. She noted the eggs and paprika first, then the bagged fresh cilantro, onion, spinach, and…cheese? Bagged cheese, at that? “Jason, do you have the rest of Whole Foods in here? I didn’t think there is one in Gotham.”

“Too much crime.” Jason smiled wickedly at y/n. “And no, I want to make something good. You said you’ve never had shakshuka, and that was almost a dealbreaker until you sent me a pic of your tits-”

“Ah, yes, the notes of true love.”

“-and I thought, ‘Well, I can just make them for y/n.’ And we can turn it into a date or something.” Jason finished, varieties of tomatoes in hand.

Y/n read the labels of cheeses. “I thought there wasn’t cheese in shakshuka.”

Sneaking a bite of spinach, he replied enthusiastically, “There isn’t! But I think I could use the remaining egg to make you a quiche in the morning.”

In the morning. Y/n was right, and she made a mental note to thank her astrologist later. She would be lying if she wasn’t excited - she tried some of Jason’s creations on their picnic at the cemetery, and wondered why he decided to pursue sexwork and not cooking - he was a rebel, one after y/n’s heart, at that, and y/n kissed him after that.

She walked across the island to meet Jason, wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulled him into a kiss. “Thank heavens for my tits.” Y/n remarked after they broke the kiss, her face still inches from his.

His stormy hazel came to a tranquil green, the branches of a tree swaying to and fro. It wasn’t that he intended for the storm to brew - it was in Mother Nature’s hands indeed - but something in him stirred, something y/n spotted on their previous dates. Either way, she was thankful for Jason, and his arms securing her body close to his was a reminder.

“I love you.”

The words left Jason quicker than he wanted them to… or so y/n thought judging by the remorse-ridden expression he wore. Y/n’s eyes darted, the first time since their first date that she did so out of avoidance, and she opened her mouth, but nothing came of it.

Did she love him? Wasn’t it too soon to love someone? And if she did love him - theoretically, of course - why would he say it while she wore her period outfit (it was laundry day, an unfortunate time for y/n)?

Certainly, y/n loves Jason. But the hope in his eyes dropped, and the storm reeled back in, this time in full swing. Y/n hesitated.

“I love you too.” Y/n pushed out, her hands clinging to Jason’s shirt, praying to Aretha Franklin that he wouldn’t slip away from her. The sincerity in her eyes were burning, far greater than any hatred she felt, and Jason knew.

It was all he needed to calm the thunder in him, and the corners of his mouth twitched, turning into a grin, one that…it was endearing. Reassured, at ease, as if he avoided a nasty collision at a traffic stop. His arms loosened around her waist, unafraid of losing her. He has her, in his arms, and she wanted him.

Y/n wanted Jason, too, in a way that was softer than the sumptuous comforter she slept in, and quieter, her shouts and anarchistic demeanor maturing, aging into a keened elder, empowered by the experience in her wrinkles.

It was love that brought them to each other, despite the miscommunication; it was love that brought Jason’s hands underneath y/n’s band tee, his cold hands causing her to shiver; it was love that allowed Jason to remember y/n’s scent, her smile, her signature cackle; it was love that y/n chose when her hands instinctively traveled south, just above his jeans, all while staring at him for approval.

Jason nodded, a thousand proclamations of love in a silent room. He hissed when y/n hooked her index fingers on either hip under his dark jeans, and hauled them, revealing his erection. Having been familiarized with his line of work, y/n knew how he looked nude through a screen, but when Jason threw his shirt behind him, and presented himself vulnerable to her in her apartment, she teared up.

Still clothed, y/n guided them back to her bed, and laid him down, before removing her band tee, exposing her breasts to Jason. He shifted, cock filled with blood, and it twitched with each inch he allowed his eyes to wander. Instead of removing her shorts, y/n laid beside him, and threw a leg over his toned waist, burying her head in his chest.

Affirmation. It was validation he needed most of all, that he wasn’t an object to be used, and tossed into a closet, thrown with other forgotten memories webbed in ultraviolet tragedies - y/n told him she wanted him, not his body, all with a motion. She could have easily stripped herself completely and ridden him, no matter how tempted they both were, but she chose him.

Again and again.

Jason bit down on his lip at the sight before him though, and he was the one who broke the wholesome intimacy, darkening the mood into an amber as he lowered a hand to y/n’s chest and began kneading her breast. He heard a stifled noise from y/n, and she ground down on his waist, face still buried in his chest.

He chuckled. “Really, Princess? This is your weak point?” he pulled at y/n’s nipple, causing her to lift her face from him, as she yelped in a mix of pleasure and pain. “You look so much better in person, too. Feel incredible.”

Closing his eyes, Jason focused on the softness of her skin, and the suede, perked bud aching for attention. He wondered if her clit was the same.

“Sit on my face.” Jason blurted, both hands on y/n’s breasts as she leaned toward them, welcoming the attention.

“Come again?” Y/n asked.

“I didn’t come yet.” Jason joked, voice low in lust. “I want you to sit on and ride my face.”

Y/n processed his request quickly, and kicked her shorts off just as much. Before settling on his face, y/n eyed Jason’s cock - neglected, dripping with pre-cum - and gave his head a lick, causing Jason to moan loudly in surprise. He bucked his hips and groaned, annoyed by the tease.

“I hate you.” He said while y/n was positioning herself over his face.

“No you- oh.” Y/n lowered herself, her snide comment cut off by a moan as Jason anchored her legs with his arms, which gripped her thighs. He lapped at her wet cunt impatiently, tongue searching for the right pattern to set y/n off.

Y/n was in such a state of bliss that it took her a moment to realize Jason was spelling his name against her clit, her hips shaking when Jason signed a ‘J’. She looked down and saw Jason’s eyes, pupils blown in filth, as he ate her out, signing his initial over and over, until y/n met the constellations.

And she spotted the Big Dipper behind her eyelids when she shut her eyes, orgasm rapidly approaching. “Just like that, Jason!” she gasped, gripping his hair and riding his face. Y/n reached behind her with a hand to jerk Jason off, and when her hand grasped his cock, the moan he let out into her pussy sent vibrations of pleasure that drove her over the edge, her climax hitting her recklessly.

Jason guided her through it, stifling his moans despite y/n’s hand pulling at his needy erection perfectly, and he felt his balls tighten before he met y/n in the deep space, eyes screwing shut as senseless curses and explicit, long groans left his mouth.

Still straddling his face, y/n looked down at Jason to see how his face looked. It was so much different in person, the hues of flesh on his skin so tenderly painted with the cascade of the lighting and euphoria he experienced. “So beautiful…” doesn’t even cover what she stared at in the moment, and although it was inappropriate and greedy for her to remain, pussy hovered over his face, like that, she didn’t want to move.

Until, with his inhuman strength, Jason did, slipping out from underneath y/n so that he could sit beside her on her bed. Instead of rushing to get dressed, he laid her down, kissing her shoulders as he did so, and after y/n’s head hit the flat pillow, Jason pulled a comforter over her, excusing himself to the bathroom to clean himself off. In that time, y/n blinked at the ceiling, plucking thorns in the rose of their relationship and cutting herself, so nervous about what would become of their relationship after this shared experience. She feared she would be disposed of, so awkward in her own mattress.

“Here.” Jason returned and kneeled beside the bed, taking y/n’s hand in his. “How about I make you something to eat? Like that shakshuka, if you’re willing?”

The sharp prick of the thorns at her sides eased with Jason’s healing touch, a superpower he could never bring himself to see. Y/n nodded, grinning weakly at the handsome man tending to her.

She sat up and watched Jason as he whisked away in the kitchenette, involved in the meticulous cooking. “You know, you can take a picture. It’ll last a lot longer.” Jason leaned over the island, cutting board in hand, and winked at y/n, clearly calling her out for staring too long at him.

What could y/n say though? She loved it. She felt the comfort that only domestication could bring, something she believed, until this very moment, she was allergic to. And to be proven wrong by a twenty-something-year-old man with the body type of a linebacker?

Y/n had to be dreaming. Either that, or the fairy godmother enriching her Gotham experience was soon to be waving her wand and pulling the rug from under her.

“Depends. If I put music on, would you shake your ass for the camera?” Disney princess or not, y/n wouldn’t dare to lose her sharp tongue.

Jason stopped his chopping and stabbed the cutting board with the paring knife, walking over to the threshold between the living space and kitchenette, hand on his naked hips. “Darling,” he began with a long, dragged out Southern drawl, “you know you don’t have enough money to afford that.”

Y/n giggled, the first time she did that night, and watched as Jason dramatically swayed his hips as he strut his hips back to the cutting board. She shot up from the bed with a grunt, stretching her arms overhead before she walked to her record player, fingering through her stack. She picked one from the stack and carefully placed the vinyl on the platter, gingerly setting the needle before flipping the button to ignite its power.

A series of percussion and guitar immediately began playing through the speakers, the distorted voice tying the sounds all together. Y/n walked to the kitchen and rested against the wall, waiting for Jason to finish placing the eggs on the skillet so she could invite him to dance with her.

After washing his hands, Jason offered his hand, immediately pulling y/n close to him as they held each other. In a space where she usually felt like a stranger, Jason was the key piece to make her feel at home. “How do you get all this music, anyway? Employee discount?”

“Used to steal from FYE before they fired me.” Y/n replied without missing a beat, a shameless smile rising on her face.

“Fuck, I love you.” Jason cupped the back of y/n’s head and brought her to a deep kiss, their lips tangling.

And that was how their night was spent - bodies intertwining in an attempt to display affection in various ways. Y/n hummed along as she kissed along Jason’s torso, her lips wrapping around the head of his dick before swallowing what she could of it, pulling her head back with a pop;

Jason scooped up a forkful of shakshuka, feeding it to a sleepy y/n. He lowly sang Nancy Wilson as he did so, the voice warmer than the spiced tomato sauce, and smoother than the cashew milk Jason brought to wash down the meal with (so considerate, y/n purred after Jason slid his cock into her cunt, walls pulling him in deeper).

They exchanged vows in forms of stolen kisses and laughs, Jason falling asleep first on the brink of their honeymoon as the sun shone through the gaps between the curtains. Y/n didn’t want to fall asleep; her boyfriend was gorgeous even in his sleep. Gracious was how she felt as she gazed upon the beauty.

The darkness suited him, moon reflecting in his werewolf face (a daunting secret eating at him, only to be exposed by the climax of the lunar phases); however, the sunlight, when he was fearless enough to immerse in the innocence of it, called to him. It was a dear old friend of his, surely, as they reconnected with such familiarity: the warm colors of the bright sky dyed his hair, its ethereal tones complimenting the cool brown, green, and gray hues in his eyes (when he did wake up).

“I love you.” his mouth moved, voice sleepy and hazy, plump lips moving to a grin, the stretch of his lip curling up enough for her to feel its embrace. And if it wasn’t for the formality (curse those - who hadn’t heard of a morning kiss?), y/n would have reached over and connected their lips, united them by a twizzler of wanton and affection.

Yet they sat, eyes fusing in a tunneled stare. Y/n didn’t want to look away; Jason was afraid this was the dream, and falling back to the sheets would snatch him back to the nightmare he lived.

The indie mix sounded in the background, blended together with the chitchat of the Gothamites rising in the dangerous world just outside of y/n’s and Jason’s, and the everything they didn’t care about in that moment. Y/n now comprehended the campy cheeriness of Peter, Bjorn, and John’s hit - I only care about you and me. You and me.

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goodneighborxfallout · 2 years ago

Note

Romanced companions react to Sole with a hotwife/cuckold/cuckquean fetish?

Thank you for requesting! Sorry, it took me literally over a year to write this... I left out the hotwife fetish because I don't think any of the companions would be into it.

Cait:

Absolutely not, and you better drop it immediately before this becomes a dealbreaker. Having sex with another man while you watch would remind her too much of her time being used as a slave and all those gross nights with some raiders. Cait might talk about anything sex-related nonchalantly, but there’s a reason she started abusing drugs. She wants her relationship with you to be different. Threesomes are fine, but being watched feels too much like being a piece of meat put on display.

She also isn’t into watching you have sex with someone else.

Curie:

Curie doesn’t understand the appeal. She loves you, so she doesn’t want to have sex with another man, and surely if you love her, you wouldn’t want to have sex with another woman? It will take a lot of explaining for her to accept that it merely turns you on. If she decides to give one of the options a go, she’ll choose to watch you be with someone else, but she’ll end up hating it and be very upset with you for ever bringing it up.

Danse:

No. Asking him to watch you have sex with another guy will make him very angry because he really doesn’t get what you’re trying to achieve. Are you trying to make him jealous? To rile him up? Because it’s working, only with a ton of added insecurities and doubts about your relationship on top of it. Same as with Curie, you’ll have to spend a lot of time explaining the fetish to him before he calms down a bit and stops accusing you of not wanting to be with him anymore.

If you tell him you want him to have sex with someone else while you watch, he won’t be as angry, but he’ll still be confused and refuse the offer, silently wondering at night why the hell you’d want to put yourself through that.

Deacon:

Deacon will laugh it off and pray that you’re just joking. Whether you want him to have sex with someone else while you watch or you want to have sex with someone else while he watches, neither option appeals to him, and he’ll refuse. Unlike Danse and Curie, however, he will not bombard you with questions. Instead, he’ll pretend you two never had the conversation at all, but this approach results in him having a lot of unanswered questions still on his mind. Late at night, while you’re already fast asleep in his arms, he’ll try to understand what turns you on so much about it by imagining the different scenarios and… did his cock just twitch imagining you getting fucked by someone else while he jerks off?

Gage:

Instantly refuses but only really thinks about your suggestion later during the day. It’ll take him a few more days to come around to the idea, but he’ll eventually bring it up someday after you two just had sex. “So, you want to watch while I do this with some other chick?”

However, he denies that he wants to do this because it arouses him. Instead, he tells himself he wants to make you regret asking for it, he wants to see you get jealous and admit how stupid a suggestion it was. That doesn’t work out so well however because you were serious when you said it was a kink of yours. So instead, he has to watch you get off while his cock is destroying some random chick’s pussy, and it only makes him want to be inside of you more. So he quickly makes the girl cum, then finishes off buried deep inside of you anyway.

It’ll take longer for him to come around to the idea of you getting fucked by someone else, but he’ll eventually give that a try too. Still, he prefers the sex to just be between the two of you.

Hancock:

Hancock has had no desire to have sex with someone else ever since he got together with you, but he quickly agrees to watching you get fucked by someone else. There are several rules that need to be followed though: 1: You keep eye contact with him throughout the entire thing. 2: His name is the only name leaving your mouth. And 3: You trash talk the guy afterward. Abide by these rules and everything will be fine, but break one - especially the second one - and Hancock won’t hesitate to interrupt your little session and switch the roles, making the other guy watch as he punishes you.

MacCready:

Spits out his drink and thinks (hopes) he misunderstood you, but when you assure him you’re serious, he scratches his head and wonders what the hell he’s even supposed to think of this.

“So shit like that turns you on? Wh… What do you want me to say to that, Sole?”

He’s utterly confused, so you have to make sure he fully understands the situation, and then you let him take as much time as he needs to think things through.

Mac will be too jealous to let you have sex with another guy, but he’ll eventually come around to having you watch him have sex with another woman. It gets him off, sure, he’s surrounded by two naked women after all: one he’s fucking and you, who’s clearly enjoying the view. But something about the entire situation feels wrong to him. Sex is supposed to be just between the two of you. So afterward, he talks to you about it and you both decide to not do that over. He tried it, it just wasn’t his thing.

Nick:

No.

Piper:

Piper can’t decide whether she’s more hurt or angry, regardless, she’s not a fan. All of a sudden, all the women she sees you talk to make her feel jealous and she starts to think more seriously about having you watch her have sex with someone else. But much as with Gage, this is more a means to make you jealous than anything else. So when, one day, her eyes land on a particularly handsome guy that just sauntered into Diamond City, she takes you up on your offer after all. She’s surprised to see you were sincere about your kink, no matter how much you told her you were, and she can’t deny how aroused she is by seeing you jerk off while her pussy is being penetrated by some other guy.

Maybe this could become more than a one-time thing after all.

Preston:

Preston is in shock when you ask if you can watch him have sex with another woman and won’t be able to hear your explanation anymore. You want to what? Why? And where was he supposed to find a second woman who wants to have sex with him? Yes, before even he was aware of it, he was already considering it. But then he remembers how awkward his first time with you was, and he really doesn’t want a repeat of that.

If you ask him whether he wants to watch you have sex with someone else, he’ll just feel betrayed by you. So in the end, his answer will be no regardless.

X6-88 (I always think of X6 as asexual, so I’m rolling with it):

X6 really doesn’t care about sex. He engages in it with you to keep you happy, but he could do fine without it. When you ask him whether you can watch each other have sex with other people, he feels like you’re pushing your luck.

“I don’t see how that would benefit either of us.”

He’ll refuse to have sex with another woman just to get you off - he can do that himself just fine, thanks. And though he agrees to let you have sex with someone else as he watches, it’s a really awkward experience for everyone as he just sits there, unimpressed and bored.

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intoxicatingintimacyy · 7 months ago

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Criminal Minds anyone??

Hey hey hey! I’m currently craving a Criminal Minds roleplay, which I know is kind of a longshot, but it’s worth it to at least try… I hope! Anyway, I’m 25 and located in PST, although I don’t mind which timezone you’re in, I’ve had partners from all over. I have over ten years writing experience and have done a bit of freelance writing on the side as well. As for my writing, I can easily write around two paragraphs, but if the scene calls for it I can go 3-5, it just depends. I do prefer rapid replies around two paras, but this is in no way a dealbreaker as I know not everyone has this sort of time.

Just a few quick rules that are important to me are as follows:

All partners must be 18+

I’m a fan of smut and think it can lend itself to the plot, so as long as it makes sense in the plot I’d love to include it!

Since doubling is a big thing now, I want to explain my stance - I’m so down for playing side characters in order to world build, however I won’t do an ‘I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine’ deal. I’m not too great at playing canons, which is why I tend to play ocs. Sorry if this is a dealbreaker for you!

As for what I’m looking for specifically, it would be someone to play Spencer Reid against an original character of mine. While I do have a bio/background written up for her, here’s a quick lil summary for you to get a feel for her: she’s an investigative journalist and very much in the same vein as Gale Weathers, just not as bitchy lol. Due to her history though, she definitely has a dry sense of humor and is sarcastic to a fault. She has a history with the FBI due to her father’s murder and I’ve always liked the idea of Rossi having had something to do with the unsolved investigation.

I'd also love to include other characters, I think they’re important to who Spencer is but I’d also love to see Olivia interact with them. We can split them up, but this isn’t a necessity if you don’t want to!

For this pairing I have a few little snippets of ideas for the most part, but I also have a decently fleshed out one that I can tell you about if my rambling hasn’t put you off yet haha. Even though I don’t wish harm on my favorite boy, I would also, maybe later down the line, like to explore his addiction a bit more and perhaps a relapse? I feel like the show sort of glossed over it and I’d love to dive deeper into what it’s done to Spencer, as well as those around him, and how he handles it.

As far as potential partners go, this is kind of what I’m looking for:

Can reply at least once a day, but would prefer multiple times. (obviously this doesn’t apply if something comes up, just let me know, I’m not strict or scary, promise!)

Loves to gush about the characters/pairings/fandom we’re writing. I love getting invested and coming up with potential future plot points or doing aus or hcs about where they could end up. It’s all so fun!

In that same vein though, I do want to set a boundary: I don’t do anything that requires me to share my voice or move off of discord. I have super bad anxiety so any kind of call or sharing of personal info stresses me out a lot. I’ve tried it once and it all ended in a mess and I’d rather not get into it again, so please be able to respect that.

If you write primarily on Discord in servers, that’s perfect! And bonus points if you use tupperbox!

If you’re another Criminal Minds fan and want to give Spencer a go, I’d love to hear from you! Either PM me on here or add me on discord - toxicdeliquency

If you do message me though, PLEASE send more than a ‘hey’, maybe introduce yourself and your history with writing/roleplaying or the fandom? Idk, just something to let me know this is the ad you came from haha. Hope to hear from some of y’all!

#roleplay #fandom rp #literate roleplay #criminal minds roleplay #criminal minds rp #spencer reid rp #spencer reid

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badgerotter · 1 year ago

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i cant take it anymore i need to post my ice cold takes on tumblr.com (sorry for ruining everyone's fun in advance, and no hate to topher fans!!)

topher's popularity is so interesting to me. its my theory that he kept his fanbase because of how the episodes were released with week long gaps between them. of course, everyone thought topher was goofy in the first two episodes. hell even i did, with my most popular post atm being the one where i made a joke about the pride flag in his room that aged very poorly. his cult following only grew as the episodes went on, and by the time episode 8 released, it SHOULD'VE been a dealbreaker. however, people were already so attached to him that it didnt make much of an impact, only really serving to make more people step back and realize how ridiculous topher's popularity has become in the grand scheme of things. hell, the finale didn't help with its very brief addressal of the blackmailing situation.

of course, there's always gonna be some racism involved. i saw a few posts a few days after episode 8 addressing how the fandom always wants to gravitate towards the white guys instead of the canon poc wlw couple. to be clear, i do not disagree with this. as sad as it is, racism and misogyny and things like that are all deeply woven into society and definitely won't be leaving anytime soon, no matter how much people realize how wrong it is. of course, it's probably statistically a fact that there is at least one topher fan who is racist. there are also very likely people who like topher more because of hidden racism that they themselves do not realize or think about.

that being said, i think my earlier theory about topher's carried popularity is a sound reason for why people want to redeem him so much, why people want to uwu-ify the pasty guy, why people want to make the woke straight ally be hopelessly in love with another man. i haven't seen anyone propose this before, but recently i was thinking about why topher is still so popular. while it could definitely play a sizeable contributing factor, i don't think racism is the main reason for topher's popularity. i think it's more of a bandwagon of fanon content that snowballed into topher's giant, unstoppable fandom.

i didn't make this to try and refute the racism claim. i find it justified and valid. but i mainly made this post because i wanted to share my thoughts, ones that i haven't seen said anywhere (on tumblr at least, i basically only use it and youtube nowadays). just wanted to throw my two cents in. that being said, i do think topher is a bit of a goober, but it's kind of a bad look if you choose to ignore the events of episode 8. all in all, if you're a topher fan, keep doing that! unless you're actually racist about it, it's fine to like topher, even if it's because of the fanon content (hell, it's probably better to obsess over fanon topher at this point). i literally did the same thing with van gogh back when i was obsessed with the og show in 2021, even though it was more as a joke since i also found van gogh's popularity funny. expect a post on that later btw, i have SO MUCH to say about fanon van gogh that i've kept bottled up for two years. anyway, topher fans keep slaying if you aren't hurting anyone. i only made this after an indirect reality check i had after reading a khalopatra fanfiction that made me think about canon vs fanon a lot

#clone high #grrr im done posting goofy things im getting analytical now

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findyourrp · 10 months ago

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Just a few quick rules that are important to me are as follows:

All partners must be 18+

I’m a fan of smut and think it can lend itself to the plot, so as long as it makes sense in the plot I’d love to include it!

I’d also love to include other characters, I think they’re important to who Spencer is but I’d also love to see Olivia interact with them. We can split them up, but this isn’t a necessity if you don’t want to!

As far as potential partners go, this is kind of what I’m looking for:

Can reply at least once a day, but would prefer multiple times. (obviously this doesn’t apply if something comes up, just let me know, I’m not strict or scary, promise!)

If you write primarily on Discord in servers, that’s perfect! And bonus points if you use tupperbox!

If you’re another Criminal Minds fan and want to give Spencer a go, I’d love to hear from you! Either PM me on here or add me on discord - toxicdeliquency

I read the rules, but idk how to put an emoji in here on my computer lolol!

#submission #rp finder

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roleplayfinder · 10 months ago

Text

Just a few quick rules that are important to me are as follows:

All partners must be 18+

I’m a fan of smut and think it can lend itself to the plot, so as long as it makes sense in the plot I’d love to include it!

As far as potential partners go, this is kind of what I’m looking for:

Can reply at least once a day, but would prefer multiple times. (obviously this doesn’t apply if something comes up, just let me know, I’m not strict or scary, promise!)

If you write primarily on Discord in servers, that’s perfect! And bonus points if you use tupperbox!

If you’re another Criminal Minds fan and want to give Spencer a go, I’d love to hear from you! Either PM me on here or add me on discord - toxicdeliquency

#submission #eighteen and over #pst #criminal minds #criminal minds roleplay #criminal minds rp

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bravewolfvesperia · 10 months ago

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GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

tagged by: @altosk tagging: @mistralxsoul, @ourvoids, @ervaurem if you haven't done this, @pclitesse if you do these!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: Shi (ShiShi is fine but I tend to go with Shi. if you're thinking Shinon from a ninth and tenth entry in a particular franchise, your brain is in the right place. namesakes and beloveds, friends)

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she/her

MUSE NAME: Yuri Lowell (and assorted others on my Tales multimuse)

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: depends how often we talk. Tumblr DMs is easiest if we have brief conversation/plotting. Discord is preferred if we're starting to have regular conversations/lengthy conversations. I'm open to talking to people more though if they're interested, so if you do want to talk or gush about our muses or games, feel free to ask for my Discord! we don't have to already be talking a whole lot if you do want to move to Discord.

EXPERIENCE: I've been RPing for like, idk, as long as I can remember, but I started on Tumblr specifically around 2012. Before that it was things like ye wee old forums, messengers, etc. Tales experience is the same thing because I used to RP Tales on forums LOL.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: a mix of everything more or less. I like fluff and happy things mixed into angst, and if there's no room for happiness in a specific thread/situation, I like to have gentle/soft/emotional aspects littered around. I also try to just follow my muse's whims, so if anything suddenly spikes his rage meter, that's what we're goin' with folks.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS:

(this isn't as scary as it looks I'm sorry LOL)

ignoring my rules and asking to ship with me when your character's name is not in my ship list (yes, this includes OCs. if OCs aren't mentioned it's very likely because my muse has a very specific romantic inclination and chemistry won't trump that the muse is already leaning toward someone/other people by default. should be obvious but I literally recently on another blog had someone completely ignore that muse's ship list and still send me an anon to ask to ship with me (and the whole thing was indicative that they only wanted to write with me to ship and didn't really see my muse as their own muse but just as another tool in the shed). my ship list tends to be very tiny for any muse and I prefer it that way anyway because it wards off the idea that people are only writing with me to ship. I love shipping with certain pairs, but I don't write explicitly for that and am much more comfortable with the idea that people aren't following me to ship with me/going into things assuming they will be able to convince me into it when they would have presumably read my rules and know their character is not on that list. again, as in my rules, one-sided your-muse-likes-mine is totally fine - just don't get mad when it remains one-sided because you were warned. if your muse is on the list (for any of my muses), yes, it means I'm open to discussing it/writing it./being receptive of it.

disrespecting other writers plain for everyone to see on their dashboards. this includes saying vague shit like "there are no good (character name) muses out there". that is very much not the same as "there are no writers for this character/I can't find any of this character". that's a very intentional dig at certain character writers and implies they're not good enough for you because nobody writes that character the way you want them to (versus simply expressing a desire to write with a certain character but not finding anyone who writes them).

using my muse as a blank slate who is just a base directly off the game you probably played if you're here. if any of you have paid attention to my threads with a specific Flynn (hi Natty!), you are probably aware my muse is heavily influenced by canon side material. that stuff is a core part of my muse. my muse is not just a rip taken right out of game-only canon. the more I write, the more formed he becomes as his own individual muse. if you cannot respect that and will consider it "ooc" for my muse not to be a blank slate direct rip from canon every time I write with a new muse, that's a hard dealbreaker. (on that above note, for any Flynn writers who are unfamiliar with the canon side material that Flynn is a primary part of (i.e. very directly relative to things that affect my muse), I do not hold that against you and am completely willing to work things out with you! that shit is hard to find and is JP media only. there's a slew of side content for Vesperia that the west never got so I know many if not most people won't even know a lot of it exists)

PLOTS OR MEMES: I do both, but I'm more likely to be able to work out plots with characters either in my muse's canon(s) or muses from other Tales games ("canons" is things such as canon side material, Tales gachas Yuri is in, etc). if I don't know your character well (canon or OC), memes tend to work better. I find it difficult to plot specific things out when I don't know a particular series well or at all. that said, I'll write with people who know my character and are okay with using one of his verses even if I don't know your character/series. I love memes for writing, but I will definitely struggle to actually plot if I don't know the franchise. I also love randomly sent memes just for the sake of writing things!

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: long. short for me is like three paragraphs and I just physically can't find myself doing less. things like one-liners might pop up in dash commentary and such, but for actual threads, I write long replies because that's what comes to me. sometimes motivation really hits me with muses my muse feels close to and you might end up with a ten+ paragraph reply, so uhhh... sorry about that in advance (and my paragraphs can get bulky so doubly sorry in advance!). typically this stuff happens in more emotion-driven threads though.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: NIGHT! NIGHT! NIGHT! I'm a night owl in general, but my writing energy tends to go yeehaw on me at night.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: uhhhh uh uh for legal reasons i probably should not answer that. :)

#{ mun stuff }

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m1ckeyb3rry · 23 days ago

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DHDGSJSJS touching grass for an embarrassingly long time SORRY I fear this is not quite the end of the grass touching….it should be soon though within the next week or so then I can go back to being chronically online ugh

PLEASE get rid of that /j im /srs episode Karasu PLEASEEE I lowk wanna see more of him in action at Bambi Osaka omg I remember when people were still theorizing Kira comeback lowk kinda fun reading all of their “analysis” but fr like npcs are needed…no npc shaming here their unimportance is important LMAO

LMFAO WAIT SENDOU FITS SO WELL peaked boyfailure energy i lowk forgot about him oops

LMAOOO dw 2k event will be nagipalooza trust…also OOPS thought i read the otoya one was a req somewhere my b but either way wait speaking of how’s that going? The otoya inspo before Karasu inspo is really funny though LOL

I HAD A FEELING I was trying to pinpoint who the dead boy was and figured Niko was the only reasonable option even if it wasn’t exactly him LMAOO

RIN ISEKAID BY A SHOT FROM SHIDOU TO THE HEAD LMFDOAOAOAOAAO im crying that would be a really funny crack fic

YESS THATS THE AUDIO LMAOOO omg you get me!!! But LOLL imagine Niko taking notes on who has the most vibrant hair like “yup ok they’re a main character I’m not gonna play against them they’ve got plot armor” and fr the otoya chive strip overpowers the 80% white on his head would not categorize him as white haired LMAO

LMFAOOO the stop fighting tiktok has me laughing but also omg eightbit did that scene kinda dirty omg

AUAHAHA I SAW THE ISAGI DRESSED UP AS KAISER ONE it’s actually hilarious the posing sent me

Oh wait that Aiku edit kinda….ok if he fr just cleaned up that stubble I would’ve been an Aiku fan a long time ago I just cannot get over the stubble…..this edit fr being aikus wingman though….we’re still in the homeboy zone that stubble lowk is a dealbreaker rn I won’t allow it….

OSISUHDIS KARASUUUUUU bro his voice…HIS VOICE >>>>>> Karasu my number one eightbit please continue to feed us

CRYING THATS SO LORENZO CODED he would def do that in oaeu and even in canon LMAOOO

I refreshed the page so I could send in this ask and got jumpscared by that….that….emoji….????? You used in your latest reply I’m gone

- Karasu anon

ALDHSHAHSJ IT’S OKAYYY it’s midterms week for me this week to be honest so i’ll probably be somewhat mia as well 😭 we are in this together but trust we will both be back and better than ever soon enough!!

PLSSS okay because i would eat up seeing him in bambi osaka ngl ughhhh i love him so much he’s literally my man LMAOAO anyways yeah i’ve seen the kira comeback theories circulating idk i think at this point it’s not going to happen but some of them were cool!! agreed though sometimes npcs can just stay npcs it’s okay 😭 focus the backstory and development on characters that are actually important HAHAHA

no because i ALWAYS forget about sendou except for his few mentions in the oaeu but he lowkey fits the vibes insanely well especially given his egoist bible info like he’s just silly 😭 you’ll never catch me caring abt him but sometimes when you need a character you need a character yk

AHDHSHSH 2K WE CAN ONLY HOPE my next event will probably be 1.5k i think…ik people do 1.2k a lot but i’m already kinda close to that and i’ve posted ONE 1k event req so uhhh yeah i’ll wait until 1.5k i think every 500 followers is a good rhythm and gives me some downtime too because i have so many fics i need to work on for myself too 😫

ngl i’ve been very scattered in my writing attempts UGH haven’t felt truly inspired by anything in a bit…wrote a couple sentences for pursuit and then closed the doc…wrote a page or two for a 1k event req and then closed the doc…wrote a bit for nagi’s oaeu and then closed the doc…fixed a typo in the in-progress-since-june chapter of PEREGRINE 😭 and then closed the doc…so the going has been rough 😓 i was briefly inspired for the oaeu and aiku did come and speak through me for a bit which was nice (can always rely on him for that) but then i was just not feeling it 😔 i didn’t end up starting the otoya one shot but lowkey maybe i should just try working on that and seeing if i get anywhere 😰 worst comes to worst i’ll rewatch violet evergarden or smth and be inspired to write the most soul crushing one shot for someone or another

NIKO IS ALWAYS CATCHING STRAYS LDFJJSNDS bro cannot catch a break reader’s uncle was fr in his isagi era or smth…anyways yeah it was him!! i love throwing in sly little #hehe references every now and again

OKAY BECAUSE LOWKEY THE VISION HAS ME CACKLING imagine it has one of those cheesy ass titles like “My Rival Hit Me in the Head With a Soccer Ball and Now I Have to Save the Cold Unifier of Japan!” or smth like that LMAOAOAO hold on who are we picking though…stan rin in yukimiya’s body or ninja otoya (i’d include gardener karasu but that’s not a fair option because we all know who we’d pick if he was a choice)

WAIT SPEAKING OF GREEN the blue lock additional times have made me realize otoya’s eyebrows are also green??? so he’s canonically green haired TO ME like the white isn’t even there fr…LMAOAAO niko predicts chigiri’s awakening before it even happens because no “background character” would ever have hair that bright 😭

PLSSS lowkey 8bit did not come through for us icl 😔 at least they made karasu and OTOYA ESPECIALLY really fine…next ep is looking like there will be some nagi and yuki action i’m hoping that means we get better animation since 8bit is just like me and loves nagi KDHDJSSJ

NO BECAUSE THAT EDIT IS FR WINGMANNING THE WINGMAN idk what it is but it’s fr making me go hmm….agreed the stubble just isn’t it i can’t get over it!! it’s like how kaiser looks 10x better with his shaggy gold emo hair than with whatever tf he has going on like come onnnn you have potential but i just can’t fully see the vision yet 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

KARASU’S VOICE IS SOOOOO NAHDJSDBHDDHSJDJHDSBS anyways i’ve been getting SOO many edits of him and otoya lately it’s amazing my fyp is literally flooded and yk i save EVERY ONE 😭 they’re lowkey popular now they kinda missing the times when they were #secret and it was only elite people who liked them 😔 JKJKJK ofc i’m glad we’re getting more content now TRUST but like…i better not see y’all mischaracterizing my boys…😒😒😒 those are MY emotional support idiot lovesick losers DON’T MAKE THEM PLAYBOYS PLEASEEEEEE I KNOW OTOYA’S A DUMBASS FLIRT BUT HE’S SECRETLY A RIZZLESS LOSER PLSPLSPLS

HELP i love throwing in random reaction images every now and again…wdym you didn’t like it…😕😕😕 (<- joking)

#answered asks

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vitaegratis · 8 months ago

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Eddie was tempted to peek from behind the shower curtain to catch Chrissy’s reaction, but it only would have confirmed what he already knew. The groan was genuine, but he could have held in the pertinent comment. It came across more snippy than playful, and this little game of theirs…? What was the point of indulging her with it, if she didn’t enjoy it? If he actually made her feel bad, which in turn made him feel bad?Rinsing his hair, he let out a sigh followed by a soft hum. He wasn’t in the mood for a fight either. “…sorry. It’s just, I don’t like that question. Cause I don’t hate anything about you, and… that’s not me just saying that. I mean, can you be frustrating sometimes? Even annoying? …sure. Sometimes. I love you anyway. The good and the bad. I accept it, accept you. I mean, god knows I can be annoying and frustrating. You still love and support me. Why wouldn’t it go both ways?” Were there things they would change about each other? Eh. Maybe. She wanted him to be more social, have a life outside of her… he wanted her to be more confident. To be as kind to herself as she was everyone else. They were both trying though, weren’t they? Both for each other, and for themselves. weren’t any dealbreakers or anything. Even when they did fight, argue, and bicker… neither ever hated the other. They were just both so… stubborn.

“Thumper! Yeah, I’d save Thumper. I mean, Fluff’s not a thing - I wouldn’t ‘go back in’ for him because I wouldn’t leave without him. Thumper, though… you’ve had him since you were a kid, right? Means more than any Care Bear. He’s irreplaceable." If he saved something of his own - a guitar or an album... that would make him a selfish ass. Even if Chrissy forgave him, he wouldn’t forgive myself. So. Yeah.” Grilled cheese. That wasn’t asking too much, wouldn’t take too long. Hell, he’d make one for himself as well. “Towel, please?”

---☁︎｡⋆｡ Chrissy heard the frustrated groan from in the shower, knowing that she absolutely had gotten to him. But the second he slipped in the comment about Fluff not inquiring what Eddie hated about him? The blonde physically cringed. It was a low blow and she knew it. But in instances like this? She didn't want to lose, even if it was a stupid competition to annoy her boyfriend. One she knew she was winning, but that he was playing off simply to annoy her. "You have to hate something," Chrissy muttered to herself before deciding to drop it- The competition to annoy him. Nothing but a fight would come from it, and she was too tired for that.

--- "My bunny?" the blonde asked in a gasp, touched for the answer. "Thumper?" she asked once more as if for clarification. Thumper was, indeed, her only stuffed bunny that she slept with nightly. "Sorry about the elbows. For some reason I practice for my secret wrestling career best when asleep." She chuckled slightly before biting at her lip, causing a pinprick of blood to pool. Chewing at her lip absent-mindedly she nearly missed what Eddie had said, only to physically shake her head out of the thoughts. "Grilled cheese, I think?" she asked, tongue swiping out over her bottom lip to clear the blood.

#havvkinsqueen

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therealvinelle · 4 years ago

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The Cullens don’t value human life, or: Carlisle, honey, I’m so sorry

So, Carlisle is in a miserable situation.

He was forcibly turned into a vampire under traumatic circumstances, and became a cannibalistic demon. Against all odds he discovered that he didn’t actually have to kill people: however, he was still lonely. Fast forwards a few lonely years, he found a BFF and homoerotic academic in Aro, and spent decades trying to persuade him to his diet. Failed. Decided to travel the world in search of likeminded - failed.

There’s no one.

Fast forwards to 1918, Carlisle has spent centuries trying to get someone, anyone, to understand this seemingly simple concept. Don’t eat people, please, it’s literally the only thing Carlisle asks. And he’s still asking too much.

We know how history then unfolded itself - Carlisle was going to let the Masens die, as countless patients had before, and then Elizabeth Masen said “nu uh, not my son he won’t!”, and that was the kick in the butt Carlisle needed to create his own companion. Converting others had failed, but maybe a brand new vampire who has never known anything different and who looks to Carlisle for guidance will follow the diet.

And it works. Edward follows Carlisle’s diet. A few years later Carlisle repeats the experiment, now he’s in a coven of three vampires who are actually doing the diet. What a world. I’m sure he was walking around in a daze for a solid portion of that time.

The coven grows, soon Carlisle has a whole squad of vegetarians, and even a cousin squad. (Although since the Denali sister went for the diet because they wanted to have sex with the same men multiple times, I can only picture Carlisle’s delight upon finding them quickly turning into a thousand yard stare.)

Anyway, Carlisle has what he always wanted, let there be happiness galore.

Unfortunately, none of the Cullens actually care about human life.

Off the top of my head:

Edward left Carlisle for years. This by itself is a dealbreaker, he had all the love and support he could ever ask for, and turned his back on it because he’d rather kill people. Killing rapists wasn’t even his first instinct, at first he killed homeless junkies, since no one would miss them. He only turned to rapists because junkies taste awful. He turned back not because he learned the error of his ways, but because life wasn’t fulfilling. He has learned nothing: when we meet him in 2005, he would have eaten Bella and the Biology class if it weren’t for Carlisle, contemplates killing all the Quileutes, and in Volterra he would have gone on a massacre, again if it wasn’t for Carlisle. This guy doesn’t care about human life, and he never becomes a better person. He abstains from human blood for Carlisle, to feel like less of a monster, and because it plays into his superiority complex.

Esme makes it very clear she’s fine with Bella’s untimely death. She’d let Bella die to satisfy Edward’s thirst, or to keep him in Forks. Her vote for Bella to live has nothing to do with Bella, and she later gives Edward implicit approval to eat her if he wants. It’s additionally damning that Edward isn’t at all surprised by her behavior. She does the diet for her family.

Rosalie used not wanting to move to a new place and start over as an argument in favor of killing Bella. She later places her bet that Bella will be eaten in the meadow. She adheres to the diet better than anyone in the family, but she doesn’t actually care for the individual human life, not even when it’s an innocent girl. Her main reason for following the diet is that she wants to be as close to being human as possible, and maneating demon is about as far from human as you can get.

Emmet’s response to Edward having a singer is “Treat yourself, bro!” and when Bella’s becoming a vampire, he makes a bet about how many people she’ll kill. He could not care less. He follows the diet for Rosalie’s sake.

Alice lives the way she does because her visions told her that she should live with the Cullens. She cares about Bella because Bella is her barbie, and she treats her like an accessory rather than a person. When push comes to shove she brings Bella to Volterra, knowing what the Volturi do to humans who know the secret. She never appears to care about humans for the sake of humans, at one point we see her try to help Jasper control his thirst: “It helps if you think of them as people!”

Jasper’s gift is essentially a shock collar that made a human diet unsustainable for him.

Bella chooses vampirism, knowing that there’s a chance she’ll kill people. When told of Jasper and Emmet’s newborn Bella body count bet, she is not at all concerned. And the thirst is never a problem for her, she doesn’t have to struggle to stay on the diet. She eats animals because she’s a Cullen, Cullens eat animals. Duh.

(I know this is a bit reductive, I do have far more to say on each of these, but I’m trying to be a succinct person)

They’re not doing the human diet for altruistic reasons.

This is the thing that makes Carlisle a tragic character to me.

Loneliness is his whole thing, and all he ever wanted in a companion someone who shared his ideals, who would value human life as he does. What he ends up with is the Cullens, who all believe they’re amazing people for not eating people and morally superior (they won’t say it aloud, but- well they’ll absolutely say it aloud. And they do.) to other vampires, but they don’t actually care at all.

We see it in Rosalie, Emmet, and Jasper deciding to kill Bella in Midnight Sun, we see it in- well, I just wrote a bunch of examples above. We see it again and again, these people care about human life up until the second it’s inconvenient for them to do so.

And all Carlisle can do is live in intense double think denial where his family is filled with wonderful people who care about humans so much, but he also has to make them go to their victim’s funerals in a desperate, and very telling, bid to make them understand that humans are people.

The whole point of the Cullens is that after centuries of loneliness Carlisle finally has a family of vampires who share his ideals, but when they don’t actually care-

Well.

Carlisle, honey, I’m so sorry.

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classicslesbianopinions · 3 years ago

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Your insistence on shitting on Madeline Miller for no goddamn reason made me unfollow. Her books aren’t that bad and she’s far from the only person to ever write adaptations of myths. The fact that people complain about her in particular when she’s one of the only people writing about myths who actually bothers to use the source material at all, as opposed to say the dozens of romance authors writing about unrecognizable parodies of the Greek gods, is extremely frustrating. Also. Her books are pretty fucking good actually. I thought both circe and tsoa did a fucking excellent job of capturing some of the most interesting aspects of the characters in question and in general had extremely readable and compelling prose. Literally the only actual criticism I can see for tsoa is that the presentation was biased towards the Greeks and it could have used some better development of the Trojans. I think people who rag on them because it’s currently in vogue should take a step back and critically ask themselves Why.

you don't have to like what we say, nor do you have to follow us, but i think i've articulated repeatedly what my issues are with madeline miller's works, including the idea that using the source material is not in fact the only or even main criterion for a good adaptation. if the bias for the greeks is the only criticism you can see for tsoa i have a hard time believing you've actually been reading this blog because i've talked at length about my criticisms of how miller treats briseis, and we've had many conversations about her treatment of women in general. we've also had some really interesting conversations about her fitting achilles and patroclus into a pederasty dynamic despite the fact that they're a rare example of an m/m couple in greek myth that doesn't follow that dynamic. you don't have to agree with those criticisms but they do exist.

i did like tsoa the first time i read it, and i do always try to give miller's works a fair chance, which is also why i will read the next thing she comes out with before i start posting about it. i also think she has a very nice prose style, and her depth of research is impressive, even though i still disagree with her interpretations of the myths.

i don't think every critical post has to be super serious or explain every reason why i'm criticizing. at this point my target audience for those posts (our followers) has the context for the criticism, and i think it's okay if the posts are mostly for the target audience. i always explain myself or link to a previous post when challenged, anyway, because i do think an open dialogue is important. but my joke about not wanting madeline miller to touch antigone, for example, exists in the context of my other criticism of her and her stories.

also i've been criticizing tsoa and circe since long before it was cool sorry. i honestly don't know how you even got here if that was a dealbreaker. we have a #madeline miller discourse tag too so anyone can blacklist it for any reason.

i do think it does a disservice to people's critical thinking skills as well to assume people only hate something because it's cool. if people hating on something should step back and ask why, people defending that thing should do the same. that's how we get to actual productive conversations. but i do feel like much of what i say on this blog is either very thoughtful or a silly joke that i will back up with a thoughtful statement if pressed.

but like i said. you don't have to like or follow us. we are going to keep doing what we do.

#mod felix #i remember trying to explain my issues with circe like. the summer after it came out #(i don't remember if i explained them on here but like. just in conversation)#madeline miller discourse #okay also we haven't talked about madeline miller in ages. i reblogged like one post two days ago

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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago

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dickroy or jayroy

Dickroy, hands down. I've never come across a single story featuring Jason with Roy and Kory in any capacity that prioritizes maintaining Dick's importance to them at the same time as exploring Jason's importance to them, and that's a dealbreaker for me. Sorry not sorry, but I'm not gonna throw away several decades of character dynamics and interactions that left a lasting impression on me because Lobdell was too fucking lazy to build up lesser known characters in new relationships with Jason and instead just nabbed a couple high profile characters he then proceeded to treat as glorified OCs paying no attention whatsoever to anything that MADE them popular or high profile in the first place, y'know? LOL.

Also, I get that ages are a mess in comics and who even knows how old Roy and Jason are meant to be respectively these days, but I've read NTT so many times the interactions of 'literally JUST became a father Roy Harper' and 'literally just started puberty last week Jason Todd' back in their first encounters - like, that's where my thoughts automatically jump to when I think of Roy and Jason first getting to know each other in any capacity, especially when most fics about them pull largely from pre-Flashpoint, such as with the presence of Lian. And so its like.....it doesn't mean they can't ultimately be friends as adults, but nah, I can't imagine Roy ever looking at the guy he can personally remember knowing as a baby-faced teenager at the exact same time Roy had a baby of his own, and being like yes, this guy and I are extremely compatible and on the same page in life experiences and priorities.

(But also longtime followers can tell you a big theme of mine is insisting that Jason deserves friends and dynamics of his own that don't have any overlap with Dick whatsoever and so each brother's friends can easily prioritize them without constantly pitting them against each other in the process and thus eternally perpetuating the myth of Dick and Jason as Cain and Abel 2.0 where they repeatedly swap roles there. And there's a TON of characters in Jason's age range that could make for compelling friendships and relationships for him before his death, after his death, or in the event he never died at all. I'm talking like Todd Rice aka Obsidian or Courtney Mason aka Anima or Ray Terrill aka The Ray or Tom Bronson aka Tomcat, Owen Mercer aka Captain Boomerang II, Cindy Reynolds aka DC Give Her A New Codename, Cisco Ramone aka Vibe, Grant Emerson aka Damage, hell....Freddy Freeman aka Captain Marvel Junior and pre-death Jason Todd would have totally been nerd buddies. The possibilities are endless. Like seriously, there's SO many characters DC just has lying around that could have been built up into a team or friends for Jason, but nah. Lobdell's like, that sounds like work. Anyway, I'm particularly partial to the possibilities of Jay/Todd Rice and Jay/Tom Bronson, but that's just me).

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wisteria-lodge · 4 years ago

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a burnt AND exploded Bird

so i finally managed to articulate a thing that i'm prrrretty sure points to an unhealthy snake primary model? while the concept of a snake's People, and the concentric social circles, resonates with me, it's the morality part that gets me. i don't construct my morality around my People so much as, when i'm really in the grips of it, do everything i can to convince myself their actions aren't violating my /existing/ morality.

This sounds like a... half-Burnt Idealist primary. We’re used to the dramatic, completely Burnt Idealist in fiction, where you have no personal morality, and are forced to use someone else’s to compensate. But this is like... the Castiel situation. You have a morality, but it’s not very sure of itself. It needs outside supports to justify it and prop it up. And when those supports are other people... it’s really important that those people remain morally pure.

i can explain everything away, tell myself they're really a good person and this is just a lapse in judgment, that surely everything will be fine if i can just get them to understand what they did wrong.

Oh man. So Bird. They just need to understand. I need to help them understand. They’re just missing information.

(because surely they wouldn't keep doing something wrong unless they didn't realize.) they didn't mean shitty things they very obviously said or did and i just misunderstood somehow, so on and so forth.

Burnt Bird! Burnt Bird! Gaslit bird!

part of this was, i'm sure, from issues i brought into my relationships from beforehand, but it's also been fed by heavy-duty gaslighting through multiple close relationships over the course of years.

Yeaaahh. Birds are... especially vulnerable to gaslighting.

it's given me the unfortunate yo-yo effect of being extremely suspicious and constantly on guard in close relationships, assuming the worst.

I mean, I know you know this, this isn’t some brilliant new insight, but - tell them this stuff. And if you can’t, or they respond badly, that’s not a relationship you want to put much time or energy into.

I feel /intense/ distress and repulsion whenever someone i feel like i'm under social contract to hold accountable (or not hold accountable) does something that makes me go 'UHHH.'

It is not your responsibility to hold the other person in the relationship accountable. Not over their moral choices, or health, or whatever they do with their free time. I have been the Parole Officer half of a relationship. I had the best justifications in the world. All it does is breed resentment, and make things even worse. It’s not your job. It’s not a job you’re able to do.

extra layers of Big Scream when i get even a whiff that someone might be asking me to take their side in a situation where they're actually in the wrong.

Yeah, you’re not a Snake.

maybe it's because i've had bad experiences with people going to someone else for “advice” about a conflict with me, only to misrepresent the situation/go to a yes-man, and then use the backup as both a bludgeon and an opportunity to tighten up their cover story after i'd poked holes in their previous gaslighting, but the idea of being that third party is one of the most viscerally upsetting and violating things i can think of.

You were not kidding. That is some heavy duty gaslighting. I am so sorry.

it's bad enough that, the more goodwill and commitment i have toward a relationship, the more likely i am to just. bottle things up and never tell anyone what's happening when there are problems, rather than get an outside perspective and risk being a bludgeoner myself by not giving them enough context.

Okay, wow, so your Bird is also Exploded. Birds primaries Explode when something goes wrong with the mechanism used to take in information, and that’s what’s going on here. You’re not allowing yourself to take in outside information. You’re not allowing yourself to listen to what others think about your relationships and it’s hurting you. You’re a Bird. You need that outside input to feel secure.

which means they have more opportunity to be awful and treat me like shit

Yes. Abusers isolate the mark, you know this.

(all made much worse by the fact that multiple, objective-in-hindsight gaslighters have used 'i'm one of the people you're supposed to trust, you're abusive for questioning me just because you had bad experiences with someone else :(((' on me.)

You are abusive for questioning me. Yep. That’s how you Burn a Bird.

that got a lot longer than i intended, whoops, and i have more thoughts about it, but: does this sound like a model, or just unhealthy snake? any idea what other primaries modeling snake this way might look like?

There is no Snake at all here. Sorry.

(for reference, when i say 'violations of my existing morality' i mean things like when i see them being a bully, being a hypocrite, saying or doing something bigoted, treating animals poorly, and so on, not just being a dick to me.)

Implying that they are allowed to be a dick to you, but not animals? I don’t follow.

i don't mind using subterfuge and roundabout methods to guide them to the conclusion that it was wrong if i think it'll work, in fact i would much rather be able to do that than be blunt, but unfortunately people have an easier time cognitive-dissonancing their way around snake slipperiness, and 'person continues to think their shitty behavior is fine and will probably continue acting on it' is a really upsetting result for me even without the idea that they might think they have my /approval./ so! blunt it is. i'm also aware that it's really easy for this to turn into just straight up controlling behavior and i worry about turning into a bully, but i can't just drop it because silence is complicity and AAAAAAAAA. ANYWAY i just keep going my bad ashfkshd)

Stop. Breathe. It’s okay. It’s only controlling behavior if you’re trying to control them. Expressing the way you feel about something they did is not controlling. That’s healthy. Probably someone in the past told you that you were a controlling person, but that’s a tactic. I really don’t see any risk of you being a “bludgeoner” or a “bully.”

No one is going to be perfect. Not you, not them. If they do something that bothers you, talk to them about it. Is this a one-time thing? A pattern? You’re allowed to talk to other people about it too. See if they think it’s as big a deal as you do.

If the behavior changes, great. If it doesn’t... they might not be at a place where they can change. Sometimes people just aren’t ready to learn. And then you decide, is this a dealbreaker (or not) and act accordingly.

thanks @the-moogle-of-your-nightmares for the submission

#sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #bird primary #burnt burnt primary #exploded bird primary #burnt + exploded bird primary #gaslighting #abuse

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