#anyway sorry i try not to talk too much about body image shit on here but . Todays bad

[bugflies00]

you know i understand people have different coping mechanisms but i really wish some of those were not public

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

i'm soooo glad you're back!!! love your writting so much, was thinking about some ghostface¡ tate or shit yk...like everyone who flirts with reader end murdered

i’m sorry this took me so long to do 😔 but i sorta did my own twist on this request, hope you don’t mind… i love it… anyway… :)

~~~

Lovefool

Tate Langdon x f!reader

warnings: murder, smut, stalking, obsession, very toxic, manipulation, very minor talk of drug use… virgins, yeah idk what else it’s just stalker tate being crazy for you

summary: tate’s loved you since the first moment you met, and he would do anything to be with you… anything…

word count: 4.4

~~~

2011

You stare at the boy in front of you, a mix of emotions stirring inside you. He’s your age still, you aren’t too surprised at that. You’re more surprised at the fact that he’s in front of you. It’s been so long since the last time you saw him. You remember the pain, the pure fear that paralyzed your body the last time the two of you had an encounter. It still makes you uneasy.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, your voice weak.

He shrugs. “It’s Halloween.”

“There’s been plenty of Halloweens Tate and this is the first time I’ve seen you here. What do you want?” You reply in a harsher tone than.

Tate shrugs again and starts to play with the sleeves of his sweater. You can’t believe this is real. You want to close your eyes and pretend this is all a sick dream, though you haven’t slept in years. After a few seconds, you cross your arms over your chest and take a deep breath. This isn’t going to be easy.

“Tate the fact you even have the balls to try to find me is crazy, what happened? Did you suddenly feel some sense of guilt? Are you finally sorry for what you did to me? I don’t even care if you are sorry, I don’t care about anything except the one question I’ve wondered since the night it happened,” you say.

“What question?” He responds.

“Why?” Your eyes start to burn. “Why did you kill me?”

~~~

1993

Tate had never seen any girl as beautiful as you. Never. Not in a movie, not in a magazine, nothing. From the first time he saw you in kindergarten, he knew there was something special about you. Of course, he didn’t know it would grow into what it did until middle school when his hormones took over. His feelings for you quickly transitioned from a pure crush to a sick obsession. And the best and worst part of it all was that you had no idea.

You never really spoke to him. He was out of your league. You were popular, but not braindead popular like the people you surrounded yourself with. Tate had seen you in some of your classes. You were smart, you got the best grades in those classes. You had plans for yourself after high school, unlike your friends. That knowledge only made him admire you more.

The problems began when you started going out with one of the popular boys in your group, David. He was awful for you; Tate didn’t understand why you chose to have such a relationship with someone like that. He’d watch how David would wrap his arms around you in the hallways, leave small kisses on your cheeks, and whisper words in your ears that made your face turn bright red. It made him furious.

What did David have that he didn’t? Why was he so special? Tate knew he could give you more than David ever could. So, why were you with him?

Tate quickly became blinded by rage and jealousy.

At night he’d lie awake, the knowledge that you might’ve been out there opening your legs for another boy making him sick. That’s when the fantasies began. He imagined killing David. How would he do it? Where? In what way would leave the least amount of blood on his clothes? The image of his mutilated body consumed Tate’s thoughts. He liked it.

It was around that time that he had found the mask.

It was a strange mask he found in the basement. It had a long white face with black holes for the eyes and a long mouth. He wondered which resident of his house had left it there for him. He didn’t know, and frankly, he didn’t care. All he knew from the second his eyes fell upon that mask was that bad things were going to happen.

He started going out at night and driving by David’s house. The mask he wore gave him a sense of power he never knew he could feel. At first, it was innocent. He’d simply drive down the other boy's road and look through his window for a few minutes before leaving. But all it took was one second of seeing you inside to blow the whole thing up. He was livid, seeing red. He decided he needed to bring his fantasies to life and get rid of David for good.

Halloween was when the opportunity to kill David became undeniable. By that point, Tate had been stalking the two of you for a month so he knew the basics. Which room was Davids, how to get into his house, and where his parents were most likely going to be. He had it all planned out. So, on Halloween night he put on the mask along with black robes that covered his entire body and ventured to the other boy's house, ready to kill.

He brought a knife, and when the time was just right, he snuck in through one of David’s open windows and started his game. He crept through the empty house, not making a sound. Getting to David’s room only took him a few minutes and what he heard from outside the door made him not regret his choice at all.

“Yeah, I know, listen she’s so close to finally giving it up to me and that’s what I’ve been working for this whole time. Once it happens, I’ll dump her, easy,” David spoke into his phone. His voice was cocky. It made Tate clench his jaw in frustration.

“Because dude, do you know how many girls from school I’ve already got under my belt? Y/N is just gonna be a name on my list. Yeah, whatever, I gotta go anyway I need to shower for the party, maybe I’ll get lucky, and she’ll drink too much. Okay bye.”

Before David could even get up from his chair, Tate kicked the door down and stormed in, too overpowered by his rage to think about anything but slitting the other boy's throat. He pounced on him, stabbing the knife into any part of his body he could reach. David screamed, but Tate quickly silenced him by shoving the knife down his throat. He felt empowered, he felt thrilled at the sight of his dead peer. It was amazing.

Tate didn’t waste much time gawking over his achievement, however. Once he was sure David was dead, he quickly pulled the knife out of the boy and fled out the window and back to his car. As he drove through the small neighborhoods of your guys' town, he wondered how big the news would be. Would you cry? He hoped you wouldn’t. Not over that asshole. You would move on, and Tate would wait however long it took.

~~~

The news of David’s death spread faster than wildfire and consumed Westfield High’s drama for weeks. Out of all the kids in the school, you took his death hardest. Seeing you so depressed almost made Tate regret his actions. He couldn’t bear seeing you tear up in class or show up to school two periods late. You weren’t like that.

However, as the days turned into weeks, you started to appear healthier and happier, and soon enough you were back to your normal self. Tate was glad, you were always so much prettier when you paid attention in class. He decided it was time for the second part of his plan to finally act. Though he was incredibly nervous, he knew it was then or never. He couldn’t risk you getting a new boyfriend that he’d have to kill again.

So, one day, he followed you into the library when the two of you coincidently had a study hall during the same period. His heart was beating so loud he could hear it in his ears. There you were. sitting at one of the tables alone studying, and he was going to speak to you. He’d thought up conversation starters all morning along with taking a few extra hits off his bong to help with the anxiety.

He shook the nervous thoughts from his head and grabbed his notebook from his backpack before walking in your direction. Your head was down, your hand moved aggressively across the paper as you wrote your notes. Tate stood at the other side of the table for a few seconds simply admiring you. His hands were shaky, his breathing uneasy. God, you made him lose his composure by existing. It was excruciating.

After he was done staring, he spoke, his voice quiet. “Hey y/n, do you mind maybe helping me with some of that psych homework?”

Your head shot up, your eyes instantly meeting his. He swore he couldn’t breathe. You, y/n, were looking at him on purpose. At that moment he didn’t care about what you were going to say, he didn’t care if you completely rejected him. All he cared about was how good it felt to have your eyes on him. Such innocent, loving eyes.

“Oh, yeah of course Tate that’s actually what I’m working on right now. Just sit, we can do it together. Unless you’re like super behind,” you answered.

“Are- Are you sure?” He couldn’t help the uncertainty. Did you really say yes to him?

“Yeah... should I not be?” You replied with a smile.

“No- sorry.” He sat down across from you. He could smell your perfume; he’d never been this close to you. “I just wasn’t sure if you even knew who I was.”

You chuckled. “How could I not know who you are? We’ve literally been in the same school system together since kindergarten.”

“I don’t know. You’re you know popular and stuff,” he said as he opened his notebook.

“Not really, besides even if I was that wouldn’t automatically make me forget anyone. But anyway, you can use my notes in a second, I’m almost done with the page,” you responded. You looked back down at your work and started writing again.

Tate nodded despite you not paying attention and watched as you wrote. He felt like that whole conversation was another one of his daydreams about you. Was he really sitting across from you? Or was it another mid-class nap? He cracked his knuckles to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and thankfully, he wasn’t. It was all real life.

“Sorry if this comes out as creepy, but I feel like I haven’t seen you around in a while. I mean, when was the last time we even spoke?” You suddenly spoke, your eyes back on his.

“I guess you weren’t looking hard enough to see me,” he said with a shrug. All his confidence was a facade because on the inside he was losing his mind.

He noticed the way your cheeks slightly turned pink before you replied. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t. But I should have been.”

He knew deep down you were going to be his for so long, but at that point, he knew he had already achieved his goal. You were his.

~~~

“What is this place?” You asked as you clutched your cardigan around your body.

Tate smiled and grabbed both of your hands in his. “I told you it’s a surprise. Patience is a virtue.”

“I have patience, but I also have a lower body temperature than usual and it’s bothering me so I would really appreciate it if you’d just take me to the surprise already,” you said, a small smile forming on your lips.

“It’s seventy degrees.”

“Yeah, but it’s also windy at the beach and it’s probably colder than seventy because of the ocean’s temperature.”

Tate sighed and leaned his head down to press a small kiss on your lips, a feeling he still hadn’t gotten over. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Terrible, naughty things I hope,” you replied, kissing him again. “But please lead me to your special surprise beach spot.”

Though he wanted to stand there and kiss you all night, Tate obeyed your request and began to lead you further down the beach. It had been a few months since the two of you started talking, and to say it progressed would be an understatement. Tate had truly underestimated how easy it would be to capture your attention. All you wanted was a sweet, caring, genuine boy and he could be all those things easily.

So, after a month of being friends, he asked you out and you said yes. The relationship grew deeper with each day, and it didn’t disappoint him one bit. He loved everything about you. The way you’d lie on your bed with him and talk for hours, the way you’d make your relationship with him public by holding his hand in the halls, and most importantly the way you never expected or wanted him to change to fit in with your friends. You liked him for who he was, and it melted his heart.

It was your three-month anniversary, and Tate wanted to make it special. Even though he knew before the two of you got together that you were a virgin, he didn’t know to what extent you were. He quickly became aware you had done most things already, just not full sex. At first, he was annoyed at the fact that you weren’t completely his because he had never done anything with a girl before you. But after the first night, you went down on him, he wasn’t that upset anymore.

On this night he planned to take the next step with you. He had it all set up. The blankets, the lights, all of it. As the sight of his setup came into view, he watched your face light up. You squeezed his hand and grinned up at him.

“Is this really for me?” You asked.

“Yeah, do you like it?” He replied.

You nodded and sped up to reach it, dragging him with you. Once you made it you dropped down to sit on the blanket, urging Tate to do the same. “This is so cool. You’re the first boy to ever do something like this for me. I love it.”

“I’m glad, I know how you like sentimental things,” he said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “And I’ve been wanting to show you this spot for a while. I used to come here a lot as a kid and watch the waves with my dad... before he left. I wanted to make it special with you because you’re not like my dad. Right?”

“No, I’m not. I won’t ever do anything to hurt you like that. I lo- I like you Tate, a lot.”

Tate only stared into your eyes, his heart beating faster than it ever had in his life. You almost said you loved him. He knew then that night was going to be the night you finally gave yourself to him. Something in your eyes made him certain. Your eyes were dark. You stared up at him as if he were the only boy in the world. There was a feeling in the air, one of lust and fear.

“I’ll never want to hurt you either,” he mumbled after a few seconds. “I doubt I ever could.”

You gave him a small smile and placed one of your hands on his cheek. You caressed the skin with your thumb as you slowly started to lean your face toward his. He accepted your lips on him, kissing back instantly. It was the moment he’d been working up to for years. He was finally going to lose his virginity to you, and you to him. Nothing would ever compare.

~~~

The sound of Nirvana mixed with skin slapping filled Tate’s room. He couldn’t help the moan that left his lips when he looked down at you. Your back was arched so perfectly, your waist looked impossibly small, and your ass looked incredibly big. The side of your face was smushed against one of Tate’s pillows. You were so red, so loud you had to bite your hand to spare the whole house from hearing. Tate took in a deep breath and slapped your ass, his thrusts not faltering for even a second.

“Fuck baby, you look so pretty right now. You take me so well,” he whispered. He wrapped some of your hair around his hand and yanked you up, making you practically scream. “Yeah, you like that. You like being manhandled y/n?”

You let out another moan but didn’t reply. Tate slapped your ass again and threw you back down to the mattress. He leaned over you, your sweaty body feeling perfect against his. He was close to finishing. He’d already made you cum a few times that day, so he wasn’t too concerned about where you were. All he was concerned about was getting closer to you before he came.

“I love controlling you, you’re so helpless. Fuck I’m so close,” he mumbled in your ear. “You’re mine, all fucking mine forever. I’ll kill anyone who even tries to take you away from me.”

You made a noise and Tate couldn’t hold back any longer. He came inside you, his cock pulsing heavily. You groaned; his cock was hitting your cervix too hard it hurt. He waited a minute or so before finally pulling out and moving to the spot next to you on the bed. He’d never felt anything as amazing as having sex with you. He was breathless.

He was so caught up in his thoughts about what just happened that he didn’t notice your sad expression. When he eventually looked at you, he saw your frown. Immediately he turned to his side and faced you, reaching out one of his hands to brush a few of your hairs behind your ear.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked.

“Nothing,��� you replied.

“It doesn’t look like nothing you look sad; you can tell me whatever it is.”

You sighed and turned your head to meet his gaze. “Why do you like hurting me? Like during sex and stuff. You’re always so rough and I don’t know you’re really mean and sometimes the stuff you say is… scary.”

“How is it scary?” He laughed.

“You said you’d kill anyone who would try to take me away from you,” you said.

“Yeah, I would. I swear I’ve said this shit to you before. I would do anything for you, or to keep you,” he responded.

“Don’t joke about that Tate, you know I’m scared of killers because of what happened.”

“Oh, so this is about David? Why are you even thinking about him y/n he’s been dead for months. Do you miss him, or something is that it?” He questioned; his tone harsher than before.

You scoffed and sat up. “You’re seriously making this about me missing David?”

“Well, is that what this is about?”

“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered before you stood up and started to get dressed.

“Oh, my fucking God y/n I’m sorry for whatever I said wrong while we were fucking. Can we just move on already? I don’t see what the big deal is,” he snapped.

“No, we can’t just move on. You scare me sometimes Tate like genuinely. I know you mean it all in a sweet way but it’s weird. I love you but you don’t hear me saying I’d kill people if they talked to you or looked at you a certain way. That’s not normal.”

Tate sat up. “I wish you would say those things. I wish you loved me as much as I love you. I’d do anything you ask; I would shoot up the fucking school if you wanted me to.”

You looked at him, he could see the terror and fear in your eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Of course, I am. I don’t get why you’re acting so scared. I’d never hurt you I don’t even think I could if I wanted to, you mean more to me than any person alive or dead,” he answered.

“You’re sick,” you mumbled. You grabbed your bag and walked to the door. “I think we need some time apart; you aren’t sane.”

His heart practically stopped. “What?”

“We need to stop seeing each other for a little while, I can’t take this insane shit Tate. I’m sorry. You know I love you, but I need you to get some help before I can be with you.”

Before Tate could reply, you left. All he could do was stare at the door, a million thoughts roaming his head. Did you really just break up with him? Was that it? Did you just throw away everything the two of you had because you felt his love was too strong? It didn’t feel real.

As the night progressed, he tried to call you, dozens of times. But each call was either declined or rang out. His anxiety grew with each ring of the phone. Why weren’t you replying? Who were you seeing? Did he really mean so little to you that you could leave so easily? His mind spun with scenarios, each one worse than the last. By the end of the night, he had convinced himself you were cheating on him, and the following days only worsened his state of madness.

You ignored him completely in school. Every time he tried to talk to you, you either turned away or walked away completely. It hurt him terribly. He couldn’t understand what had changed so fast. He chased you around the halls for days, trying his hardest to get your attention. But it never worked. And so, his love for you began to fade into an awful rage.

He couldn’t let you just walk away from everything the two of you shared. You were his. Only his. He couldn’t let you leave him, not like his dad. He hadn’t spent his entire life chasing you just to end up losing you. No. So, he began to formulate a plan. He’d leave you alone for a few days then calmly ask you to meet him at the beach, in the special spot he once made for you.

He wasn’t surprised that his plan worked. You were predictable.

When the night came, he made sure he was prepared. He snorted a line, packed his bag full of your favorite things, and set off. As he walked down the beach, he made sure the knife he hid was secure in his pocket. It was smaller than the one he’d used on David, but it would do the job just as efficiently.

You arrived a few minutes after him, a sad expression on your pretty face. He fought the urge to run to you with open arms.

“Thank you for coming,” he said. Only a few feet separated your bodies, he wished he could close it. But he needed to be patient.

You took a deep breath, you looked nervous. “Yeah, look Tate I... I’ve thought about it and I... I really think we should stop seeing each other for some time.”

“Why Y/N? I love you, so fucking much. I’m sorry for what I said, I can change, I won’t say shit like that ever again. I’ll be gentle, I swear. Just give me the chance I can be whatever you need me to be,” he replied desperately. He opened his bag and pulled out your favorite candy. “I love you; I really do. Please give me another chance.”

He watched your eyes fill with tears. You wanted to give in, he could see it in your eyes. But you only shook your head and wiped a fallen tear from your cheek.

“No. I’m sorry. Tate, you aren’t gentle, that’s not who you are. And I don’t want you to pretend to be someone you aren’t.”

Tate swallowed hard. “You promised me you’d never leave me; you said you were nothing like my dad. Was it all a lie?”

“Of course not!” You exclaimed and took a step closer to him. “I love you; I really do. That’s why this is so hard.”

“If you love me, why can’t we work this out? Don’t lie to me Y/N.”

He couldn’t stop his eyes from watering, nor could he stop his lips from quivering. He dug the bouquet of your favorite flowers out from his bag and held them out to you.

“Please,” he mumbled. “I need you.”

You caved. You wrapped your arms around his waist and held him tight. He could feel your muffled cries on his chest, it pained him. You were a sensitive sweet girl; it was both your blessing and curse.

“Maybe in a few months, we can try again, I don’t know.” You looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. “We just can’t be together right now. And I mean we’re going to graduate soon, and I might go to a college far away, how would that even work? But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s too late for that Y/N, you’ve already hurt me.” He dropped what he was holding and dug one of his hands into his pocket. He touched your face with his other hand, your tears covering his palm. “You’ve planned on leaving me this whole time. I wanted to give it another try you’ve made up your mind. I guess it just comes down to one thing.”

“What?” You asked.

“If I can’t have you, no one can,” he whispered before he pulled out the knife and plunged it into the side of your neck.

~~~

2011

“I killed you because I loved you,” he answers. “Because you were going to leave me and find someone else.”

All you can do is stare at him in silence. You think back to everything that happened. How could you have been so blind? It couldn’t have been your fault though. He would’ve killed you anyway. You think back to all the times Tate made you uneasy, all the times he would say things that creeped you out. Deep down you must’ve known that’s who he is. Maybe you knew all along.

Maybe you loved him because of his darkness.

You exhale a long breath. “We don’t have that long till midnight.”

“So?”

You shrug. “Wanna hook up?”

[brucewaynehater101]

I remember this one shot where tim & bruce swaps bodies while bruce is as batman in some jla meeting. Tim just continues it perfectly.

This is the body swap au, btw

Anyways, would Tim do a good job as Batman?. I think if Tim sees the swap as something brief he would do his best. (But we all make them swap long enough to Tim having enough time for long term plans) so if Tim gaslights himself into believing they would swap back after some weeks, he would do better. He thinks he can do better as a way to show he can be Batman without being a evil one(he's fighting the gun Batman allegations).

Still, it would be funny that in his "I'm gonna fix Bruce's life while am here plan".

Tim acts less as a classic moody batman while in the atalaya. Gives more and kind advice. He talks with Superman about his situation with Kon. He helps Flash with his eating schedule. He helps Arthur with whatever is going on in Atlantis. He shuts off all of the surveillance on Bruce's coworkers, just to mess with Bruce.

He just avoids Martian tho.

Then, it's been a month since the swap. They don't seem to find any way back. Tim cannot lie to himself anymore and the Batman duties are becoming way too much.

Then Bruce dies in Tim's body.

Tim never wanted to be Batman, neither to be like Bruce. But he messed Tim up. Tim never wanted to be like Bruce Wayne. And now he is living his nightmare, every day since Bruce death, Tim has to wake up and avoid his reflection. Tim never wanted to be like Bruce Wayne and now everyone call him the wrong name. Bruce died and Tim does what he does best, he sacrifices. He ditchs his identity any hope of being Tim Drake, so Batman can rise once again.

.

.

(The last paragraph is a little darker end of the version of this au where Bruce dies in Tim's body. I happily would read some of your ideas where none of them dies tho. There's just so many aspects os this au we can develop more, also we need more bruce pov of this).

Here is the post being referenced!

[I'm sorry to say that 90% of Bruce POV's are just gonna be him suffering.... I can try, though. Put up a valiant effort]

Let's really pack in that angst, shall we?

For this AU, Tim has been compared to Bruce so many fucking times.

At first, despite his shaky relationship with the grieving man, he took it as a compliment. He was like his hero Batman!

It started with Alfred fondly tutting over Tim's capacity to neglect self care duties and his shared interests. The older man would sarcastically ask Tim if he was following Bruce's footsteps of being a loner who sits in his basement all day (just teasing and joking and slight reprimanding).

Then there were the heroes that remarked on Robin's uncanny ability to do the batglare or translate Bruce's grunts.

When Steph and Tim got into arguments (and Tim was being a grade A asshole), Steph would compare Tim's emotional incapability and distrust with Batman's.

Dick, in the heat of the moment, has yelled at Tim to stop acting like Bruce (they got ice cream afterwards as an apology).

Jason has tsked and grumbled and shouted about Tim being molded into Bruce's shape/image.

Even Babs has made a comment or two.

While they didn't mean to hurt Tim (unless they were fighting [for which they would both usually make up and apologize]), it caused a small dig and insecurity to Tim's own self-image.

He wanted Bruce to be proud of him.

Tim wanted to be nothing like Bruce.

Then you add on the 16th birthday, Bruce's shit with Steph, how Bruce treats his other kids, other canon events, gun Batman, and Tim losing the rose-colored glasses of childhood?

Yeah. Tim doesn't want to be Bruce.

It seems fitting, after stealing Robin, that he'd get stuck under the name of the man he grew to see as a warning.

It figures that his choice in saving Batman lead to Tim's loss of self.

[Hmm... I can do another post chatting about Bruce or no one dying if you would like.... Or someone else dying before the truth comes out :)]

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Life Cycles

Read on Ao3 Masterlist

*banging pots and pans together* WAKE UP ASSHOLES ETHAN WINTERS IS BACK IN ALL HIS MOLDED GLORY AND YES WE ARE HERE FOR IT TO BE OUR PROBLEMS (special shout out to @justanormiewhoreads and @gigi-the-bear because yes this is sort of for you two specifically ^-^)

Eveline is back because i love her and she deserves to be

Chris Leon Rose and Ethan are about to become the world's most awkward family of BOWs and anti-BOW operatives and I'm about to make that your problem

(mia's not in this one sorry but she'll have her time too i promise)

((also for further down the pipeline i need you all to start getting excited about the Winters roasting the absolute SHIT out of Resident Edgelord Albert Wesker bc I had this image of Rose calling him a Matrix reject to his face and couldn't stop laughing for about an hour so i need you guys to laugh with me))

Warnings: disarming (hah) bc it's ethan but also bc it's ethan he's fine 2 seconds later

Pairings: implied/hinted winterfield

Word Count: 10,170

The first time he talks to Eveline, really actually talks, is right after he 'dies' from his 'injuries' from the battle with Miranda. Yes, the quotes are necessary, because if he doesn't put them there, he does dangerous things like thinking he's alive and has a body that can get up and go find his daughter and give her a big, huge, actual hug because he's sad, goddammit, that he can't do that because he's not alive.

Anyway. Miranda. 'Dying.' Rose being the best thing in the whole world and a fucking badass and then still being his baby girl, holding his hand to her cheek as the world turned to glowing white motes of light around them.

He remembers being in pain, drained in the way that came from trying to do too much on too little that he's gotten used to after Dulvey. He remembers being happy that he got to see his daughter, even if only for a little bit, and that he could tell her how sorry he was, how much he loved her, how proud she makes him every single day. He remembers watching her fade away, feeling the warmth of her touch grow cold, and closing his eyes. Who knew, if Miranda could die some final death in here, maybe he could too.

Alas, if there was one thing he could count on when the world went to shit, it was that the universe was determined that he wouldn't stay dead. He has a vague memory of some priest telling him that being able to wake up after an awful night was God's way of telling you He loved you and a much less vague memory of thinking that if God really did love him, he'd better not pull that shit anymore. But Ethan's religious days were behind him—quite a long way behind him—and the only God he believes in now doesn't exist.

He drags himself up off the cold, flat plains, grimacing at the slime congealing on his palms. There are not enough towels in this hellscape to make it leave completely, or any towels at all, so he wipes them on his pants as best he can and looks around. He's actually managed to stay manifested, which is not something he'd expected, so maybe there's something worth exploring down here. He picks a direction and starts to walk. Fog roils around him and he suppresses a shudder. Black mold runs along the ground in rivulets like some great beast bleeding out over the plains and he does his best to stick to the drier parts, picking his way along the ground until he comes to a wider river. A quick glance up and down shows not much in the way of a bridge or even a drier spot, and testing his luck with the depth doesn't sound like the smartest idea.

He's about to turn around and try the other direction when he hears a quiet sound coming from just out of sight to his left. He pauses, tilting his head. No, that's—that's definitely someone crying.

His first thought is that Rose got stuck. Maybe she was on her way back to the real world and something went wrong. Maybe he fucked up by giving her his power and tied her here somehow. But even as he starts toward her—fatherly instincts have his body moving before he registers it—he knows that's not true. Rose doesn't sound like that when she cries. He knows it.

But then who else could it be?

The answer comes to him too slowly and too quickly all at once. Eveline. That's Eveline crying. It's the same he heard from up in that recreation of the Beneviento House, after she'd thrown her tantrum at Rose and worn herself out, collapsing on her knees and sobbing that no one loved her. Something in his chest tugs at that—no child, no matter who they were, should ever feel uncertain about being loved.

Granted, this child was a genetically engineered bioweapon that ruined innocent lives and made his life a living hell, but still. Ethan likes to think that he's retained enough of his own sense of self to know that he still believes in silly little things like compassion.

He keeps walking along the riverbank, trying to follow the sound, but it keeps being thrown about in the fog. One second it sounds like it's coming from vaguely in front of him, the next it's behind him, then across the river, then right behind him, then in front of him again. Still, there's a tug in his gut as he keeps moving forward, some invisible tether leading him right to Eveline. He pushes the fear about that particular revelation aside in favor of crying child, find the crying child.

Bleeding heart, get him killed, too soft, too sensitive, blah, blah, blah. He died in 2017, that isn't exactly sticking. He'll take his bleeding heart, thanks.

It's almost anticlimactic when he finds her. Sure enough, she's huddled in a ball on the edge of the river, her waders pulled high up her legs, her hands tangled in her filthy skirts. He stops a good distance away—just because he cares doesn't mean he's not wary, after all—and crouches slightly.

"Eveline?"

Her head whips around. She stares at him with wide eyes, mouth open slightly. He holds out a hand.

"I'm not going to—'

"Back off!"

He winces when a wave of her telekenetic power slams into him, but it's weaker than he remembers. He holds his ground, hand still raised. "I'm not here to hurt you, Eveline."

"Leave me alone! Get away from me!" She grabs a handful of the mold and throws it at him, her power making it splatter across his face. "I hate you!"

Now, the smart thing to do would be to leave. Eveline is telling him in no uncertain terms that she wants to be left alone. He should not be confronting a bioweapon this powerful like this. Everyone he knows, he's sure, Chris, Mia, the rest of Chris's soldiers, hell, even Rose, they would tell him to leave.

But the smart thing to do would also not be to go get his wife in a tiny town in Louisiana off one email after she'd been presumed dead for three years, and that ship sailed years ago. Literally.

So, Ethan Winters does what he does best, and sets his jaw. "I'm not gonna leave you, Eveline."

To his—and her—surprise, she hesitates before she throws the next bit of mold. He stays there, crouched on the ground, just watching her. Her eyes narrow.

"Why? What do you want?"

"You were crying."

"Shut up!" She throws it again, but it's even weaker. "That doesn't matter! You're so dumb, can't you just leave me alone?"

"Why were you crying?"

"Stupid Rose ruined everything! She came in here and made everything worse and now it's all ruined!"

He bites back the instinctive don't call my daughter stupid. "What did she ruin?"

"Everything!"

"The house? The mold? Miranda? I don't understand."

"You're so dumb. You didn't know you were dead, or that you were made of mold. Of course you don't understand."

"Then help me understand." He takes a seat on the cold, damp ground as Eveline eyes him trepidatiously. "What did she ruin, Eveline?"

She glares at him for another few seconds before looking away, eyes on the river of black mold. "She wasn't supposed to come here. I was supposed to go out there."

Cold chills shoot down Ethan's spine. "You…you want to go back?"

"Obviously. It sucks here. I don't want to be trapped here for the rest of my life. I want to go back out there. Miranda always thought she was so smart, that she could just use the mold to make her stupid daughter come back but she was stupid too. That's not how it works. She's not mold, she can't make it do anything."

"And you can?"

Eveline glares at him again. "I'm the smart one. I'm the strong one. I can do anything! My powers are so much better than Rose's. All she can do is shoot and dodge. I can make things just by thinking about them, I can control the mold more than Miranda and Rose ever could. Obviously I can do it better."

Okay. This was fine. This was totally fine. This is a perfectly normal thing to say, there was no reason for him to panic, this is fine.

"…so what did Rose ruin?"

Eveline doesn't say anything. Instead, she stands up and disappears into the ground. Ethan sighs, burying his face in his hands. Great. He's trapped here with the remnant of the child bioweapon responsible for his death and the rest of his misery. And he's just learned she wants to go back.

This is fine.

***

"We don't know what we're going to find," Chris barks as the rest of the team lines up next to the already whirring chopper, "so be prepared for anything. We start at the north end of the village, then work our way—"

"Chris," Leon interrupts, nodding to something over his shoulder. He turns.

Rosemary Winters is striding towards them across the runway. Several agents are staring at her and Chris swallows heavily. She looks pissed. He can't really blame her.

"Rose—"

"I'll fucking break your nose, Redfield." She doesn't even break stride as she marches right past him and onto the chopper. The rest of the squad just moves out of her way.

He doesn't blame them either.

Leon slaps him on the shoulder as they follow her in, strapping in for takeoff. With only a moment's hesitation, he sits right next to her, Leon on her other side. She's staring straight ahead, still glaring, but her fingers are trembling ever so slightly. As soon as they're in the air and he's pretty sure no one except Leon will notice, he takes her hand in his and holds it tight.

If she notices his fingers trembling too, she doesn't say anything.

***

Eveline isn't too fond of it when he figures out he can talk to Rose the same way he could when she was in the upper stratum. It takes a lot of focus. So much so that when he comes out of talking to Rose about her new room decorations—really, he's half convinced if he could harness the outrage at the thought of his daughter being in basically a cell for most of her life, he'd be out of here in no time—he actually has to take a second to register that his hand is missing again.

Then he realizes that his hand is missing again and screams.

"Oh, shut up," comes a grumble to his right and his severed hand hits him in the face, "don't be such a big baby."

He puts his hand back on quickly—and doesn't think about the fact that he can just do that—and glares at Eveline, who doesn't look the least bit repentant. She crosses her arms, tapping her foot. "Why did you do that?"

"You weren't listening to me. I had to get your attention."

"So you cut off my hand?"

She shrugs. "You didn't even feel it and it's not like it matters here. You're fine, see?"

"That's not the point! Don't just cut my hand off!"

"How else am I supposed to get your attention when you're doing your stupid glassy-eyed staring thing?"

"Wait for me to be done? Does that sound reasonable to you?" Eveline just scowls and he sighs. "What did you want?"

She scuffs the toe of her boot along the moldy ground. "You promised to go on a walk with me."

That's right—they'd started going on walks together. Once they established that trying to kill each other wouldn't do anything—they were already both dead and any damage Eveline did to Ethan he'd just heal anyway—they'd started just…walking around. No talking necessary, no actual sense of companionship, but there was only so much to do in the mold flatlands, so…walking it was.

"And you couldn't wait until I was done?"

Eveline's face darkens. "You promised we'd go soon. Then you started doing the dumb staring thing—"

"That 'dumb staring thing' is me talking to my daughter."

"—exactly, the dumb staring thing, and when you do that, you go away for a long time and you promised we'd go soon." She nods her head like she's won a great debate. "So. Now we can go."

He sighs, looking down at his hand. It still moves as good as it ever did, and it's not like he can die of blood loss in here, so he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Next time, just tug on my sleeve or something? Unless that didn't work?"

"I tried that. I tried shouting at you too. You didn't react to anything until I cut off your hand, but I don't think that really worked either. Maybe I should try—"

"Maybe we should figure out a way for you to get my attention without hurting me," he interrupts as they start walking along the river. She scoffs.

"Nothing hurts in here. They're not real bodies. They're just mold."

"I was 'just mold' for years and let me tell you, things definitely still hurt."

"But you were out there—" Eveline waves a hand at the sky— "that's different. That doesn't count."

He ignores that for now. "Things still hurt in here too, Eveline."

"No, they don't." He frowns, before reaching out a hand. She glares at it as it moves closer. "What are you doing?"

"Can I touch you?"

"No. Gross. Why?"

"I want to know if you can feel things."

"Don't be an idiot, of course I can feel things." He stops walking. Eveline huffs and stamps her foot again. "Why are you being extra stupid today?"

"Humor me. Sometimes I have days where I need to be extra stupid. If you help me, I'll stop needing to be extra stupid faster."

"Fine." She stomps back over to him. "What do you want to do, just touch me?"

"Close your eyes."

"Why, so you can stab me?"

"What? No, why would I do that? I think between the two of us, you're the stabbier one."

"You already stabbed me! Then you killed me!"

Oh. Oh, yeah, he…he did do that, didn't he? Granted, it was with a toxin and not a knife, but stabbing most definitely did happen and he was the one that did it.

Eveline scoffs again. "What, don't tell me you forgot how you killed me."

"I…I'm not going to stab you. I want to see if you can tell when I'm touching you, that's all."

"Gross."

"Just hold your hand out, okay?" He holds his out to as a peace offering. "Hold my hand."

"This is stupid." But she does it. "There, I'm holding your hand. I can tell I'm holding your hand. Are you happy now? Can you stop being stupid?"

"Now leave your hand there and close your eyes." She grumbles under her breath as he lets go but keeps her hand there and closes her eyes. "Okay. You can open them again when you feel me grab your hand, okay?"

"I'm not an idiot, I get it."

"Okay, okay."

He waits for a few seconds, just to see if she'll actually listen to him or if she's just going to call him stupid and keep going on their walk. Granted, he's not exactly sure why he's doing this either. He never was the scientist between them, but he does have a bit too much curiosity for his own good. Slowly, he reaches out and takes Eveline's hand in his.

She doesn't move. Doesn't open her eyes.

Her hand is small. Too small. Her fingers are cold, a little sticky, but not from the mold. He has the impulse to rub his thumb along her knuckles to warm her up, so he does. Back and forth, back and forth. He keeps waiting for her eyes to open.

They don't.

Something terribly, terribly sad settles in his chest and for the first time since arriving here, he feels a little bit cold.

"Are you gonna get on with it already?" She shifts her weight. "I'm getting bored."

"Eveline," he says, far too gently.

"What?" She cracks one eye open and sees his hand in hers, his thumb rubbing across her knuckles. Her eyes go wide, her breath comes out in a big rush, and then she rips her hand away from him. "Don't do that again!"

His arm stays outstretched, even as she turns away from him, hunching her shoulders. She takes several deep breaths, each a little shakier than the last.

"I don't want to walk with you today," she declares, and disappears.

His hand tingles with the memory of her cold little fingers in his, aching tenderly.

***

They land on a cliff face high above the wreckage of the village. Leon winces at the bite of the cold air, tugging his jacket closer to himself as Chris barks orders to the rest of the squad. They fan out and start moving. Working with Chris is as seamless as ever, except that there's an unarmed teenager standing by the helicopter still.

"Rose, on me."

"Coming." She trots over and slips in behind them. He moves closer as Chris edges slightly in front. "Sorry. Got distracted."

"Stay focused. This isn't a drill."

"I know."

He sees Chris's hands tense slightly and glances at Rose. He drops back a little more to keep her in between them. She notices and her mouth twitches but she doesn't say anything. They move through the forest, down a snowy slope, into a thicker grove of trees.

"Any idea where we might need to look?"

"Sensors picked up something near the detonation site, not far off from where the Megamycete used to be. Chances are it's nothing, but if—"

"Look out!"

Leon's gun aims at the tree line as a massive cracking sound rips through the air. If Rose had yanked Chris back half a second later, he'd be at the bottom of the gorge that their cliff just collapsed into. They all stand there, panting heavily, until their comms start chirping. Everyone's alright, no one got caught or was injured.

"We'll need to head back. Further along the mountain there's a safer way down."

"No." Rose stares off into the trees for a second. "There's an old bridge over here that will take us to the outskirts of the castle."

"How do you know?"

"The mold's everywhere in the ground here. I can…I can feel it."

Well, that's a great start to anything if you ask Leon. Chris is clearly working through the same issue before he sighs, pats her gently on the shoulder, and motions for her to stay behind him. She does, but there's a furrow in her brow that wasn't there before.

"Hey," he calls quietly, and she turns to him, "stay focused, remember? Need you to help me haul Redfield back from anymore collapsing cliffs."

"I heard that."

***

Eveline doesn't talk to him for—well, he'd say for a few days but time's weird here. It bothers him more than it should. He tries to find her, but she wasn't lying when she said she understood the mold way better than he did, and he might as well be wandering around with a blindfold and earplugs for all the success he has.

Then he has a fight with Rose and he spends hours silently pleading for her to look and see how sorry he is. It takes everything in him to keep those words there, to keep himself aware enough to be there. Everything narrows down to the dusty floorboards, the sound of Rose sobbing, the thump-thump of her heartbeat. Nothing else in the world matters, could matter, nothing except for the part of him he's pushing through the mold to write out i'm sorry rose.

Rose forgives him. He forgives her. Of course he does, she's his daughter. She asks him to stay until she falls asleep and he does, glowing from the floor until her heart rate slows and he finally, finally sinks back into the mold flatlands.

And blinks, because Eveline is sitting there, holding his hand.

"He—"

"You were gone a long time," she says bluntly, "I thought you were really dead."

He swallows. His throat is dry. Is he lying down? "I'm back now."

Her mouth twists. She looks down at their hands. Her fingers are clumsily clutching his, hers too-white against his slimy, slightly moldy ones. The chill still surprises him but he swallows it—with difficultly.

"Thank you for not cutting my hand off."

"I didn't know it hurt you."

"Can—can you feel this?" He squeezes her fingers. "Does that hurt?"

"No, it doesn't hurt." Her mouth twists again. "I know I'm holding your hand, but it—it's like I remember it."

He pushes himself to an elbow, wincing at the strain in his body. He really overdid it this time, not that he's surprised. "You feel cold to me."

"I do?"

"Like a little ice cube."

"I remember being cold," she says, and now she actually sounds like a child, reminiscing about something, "the ship was really cold. The house—the house was nice and warm, though."

"The Baker House?"

"Yeah. D—Jack brought me upstairs and tucked me into bed. It was so soft."

He rubs his thumb over her knuckles before the thinks better of it. Her fingers twitch but she doesn't pull away. He pushes himself up until he's sitting next to her, still holding her hand. "Romania was cold. Really cold. I was worried I was gonna get frostbite."

"The mold wouldn't have let you. You would've just healed from it."

"Oh."

"It's really good at staying in shapes. That's why Miranda was so powerful here and why she could make copies of Rose and the Duke and the dolls."

"And why you and I are here?"

Eveline shifts, bringing her knees up to her chest. "We're—we're different. Rose is different too. They made me from the mold, just like she was made from the mold."

"Uh—" Is he going to have to explain to Eveline how babies are made?

"You were mold already when you made her, stupid."

"But then what does that make me? I wasn't made from the mold, not originally."

Eveline's face pinches, but she doesn't look mad. She squeezes his hand and he squeezes back out of reflex. "You're…complicated."

He can't help but chuckle. "I think that's the first time anyone's ever called me complicated."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've always been pretty boring. I had a decent childhood, a boring job…I wasn't anything special, just a simple, boring person."

"You're not boring."

"Hey," he says, lightly bumping her shoulder with his elbow, "I think that was almost a compliment."

"Shut up. You're boring sometimes."

He laughs again. They're still holding hands. The black river gurgles next to them. After a while, Eveline looks up at him again. "What?"

"You weren't supposed to come back."

"In Dulvey?"

She nods. "Jack killed you and you were supposed to come back to life, but you weren't supposed to come back."

That's…not what he was expecting to hear. "I thought you brought me there so Mia and I could be your parents. Why do that just to have Jack kill me?"

Her face twists up again and before she can pull away, he grabs her other hand. She flinches a little but settles, refusing to look at him. Her jaw clenches.

"She wanted you," she spits out, "I thought—I thought—never mind. This is stupid."

"It's not stupid, Eveline. If it matters to you—"

"It doesn't!" She rips her hands away and stands up. "It doesn't matter anymore, all of them are gone. You shouldn't spend so much time staring like that, you'll get hurt and then I'll have no one to walk with me. We're walking soon."

She's gone before he can say another word. He sighs, wincing as he gets to his feet. Christ, he feels like he's gone ten rounds with Chris on a bad day, and then some. Maybe he did overdo it this time—okay, okay, he definitely did, but Rose was upset. What was he supposed to do, leave? Not likely.

Okay. So. Rose and Eveline, the same when it comes to the mold. Sort of. On some level. Him, not the same. Complicated. Not supposed to be him, whatever that meant. Something to do with Mia. Doesn't everything at this point come back to that? Not for the first time, he wonders what his life would be like if he hadn't married Mia, and then quickly decides not to pursue that train of thought. Wouldn't lead anywhere good.

Almost unconsciously, he turns to look at the black river, watching it ooze its way along the flat, icy, muddy, moldy ground. He kicks a clump of it over. It sticks to his boot. The faint smell of rotting plants meets his nose. He wonders if that's just a memory from Louisiana, or if it's actually here. If Eveline couldn't feel things, it made sense that maybe he didn't have all of his senses either.

Speaking of complicated…he has no clue when he started to care about Eveline, and he doesn't really know what to do with this knowledge now that he has it. Eveline is a child, yes, but still a bioweapon, still unrepentant about what she did, still would very much ruin his life if she had the chance, probably. But they're both stuck here, and from the looks of it, they're not really going anywhere anytime soon.

And she had…changed.

He looks down at his hand. How long had she been holding it before he came back here? Had she debated cutting it off instead? And if she did think he was really dead, like she said, why was she still sitting there, holding his hand?

The way she talked about the warmth of the Baker house, the way she almost called Jack 'Dad,' the way she talked about being tucked into bed…he has a sudden flash of memory of being tormented in the Beneviento House, chased by the giant baby monster, and nearly breaking down all over the Duke as soon as he was out of there. Because yeah, that thing had been absolutely terrifying, but the worst part was that it was so sad. It reached into some deep part of him, the part that was screaming over carrying his daughter around in flasks, the part the was mourning his wife—or so he thought—and he had the equally terrifying urge to try and comfort it. It was a near thing, not sobbing in front of the Duke, because it seemed so lonely and so scared and so, so sad, and Ethan knew what that felt like.

He looks off toward the river again and pats his pockets. When he goes to meet Eveline for their walk, he holds out a pair of gloves. She eyes them like they're a dead animal.

"What are those for?"

"Your hands. If you get cold."

"I can't feel it, dummy," even as she takes them. She pulls them on and grumbles: "they don't even fit right."

"You don't have to wear them."

She glares at him like he's an idiot and turns on her heel, beginning to walk along the river. He follows, easily catching up. They walk in silence for a while. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches her playing with the empty parts of the too-big fingers. He says nothing about it.

"I'm keeping these," she announces when they've walked far enough that day, "you aren't getting them back."

"You're welcome."

"Shut up," but it's said a little quieter than usual.

***

The ground feels like it's tingling under her boots. She's trying to focus, she really is, but it's hard when it feels like she's walking on a constantly vibrating…thing. Every now and then she has to give herself a shake before Chris or Leon can call her out on it, but she's pretty sure they're noticing anyway.

"Hey," Leon says quietly when Chris responds to someone over comms, "you doing okay?"

"I'm fine. Just…feels weird."

"What does?"

"The ground. It's like it's humming or something."

"Well, if it sounds like it's gonna bust out old show tunes, you give us a heads-up, deal?"

She huffs a laugh. "Not like that. Like it's—okay, you know how those old video game controllers would like, rumble when you got close to stuff in-game?"

"Jeez, kid, you're making me feel like I'm ancient over here."

"We are ancient," Chris grunts, "at least in this game. What about them, Rose?"

"It sort of feels like it's trying to…guide me somewhere."

Both of them stop, turning to look at her. She rolls her eyes.

"Not in a bad way, it doesn't feel like Miranda or anything is doing it on purpose. But it's a living thing, it's…living. It's reacting."

They exchange another one of those glances. "You let us know if it changes in any way, okay?"

"Sure."

"Come on. Umber Eyes says there's a building up ahead where we can rest for a minute."

***

Something weird is happening, and for Ethan, that's saying something. He's started…feeling things. Not like how he and Rose can share feelings if he's talking to her, but he's able to…feel things. It takes him less time than he'd care to admit to bring it up with Eveline.

"You're the main Host now, so it makes sense."

He blinks. And blinks again. "I'm the what?"

She rolls her eyes, looking up from where she's fiddling with the gloves—he tries not to be too proud at how much she likes them. "You're the mold's last body, or last hope of a body. Your thing is being able to heal yourself from pretty much anything, and you weren't actually super destroyed when you set the bomb off. So you're the main Host."

"But I'm…dead."

"Yeah, and? The Black God doesn't care."

"The black what?"

"God, you are stupid. Don't you pay attention?"

"I've had other things to worry about, okay?"

"Yeah, like Rose." She's caught on to the fact that he doesn't like it when she refers to Rose as his 'stupid daughter,' but that doesn't mean she suddenly likes her. "The Black God. The thing that's in charge. The fungal root that ate the bodies of the people in the village. It wants to live, obviously, but it's weak now because you and Rose killed Miranda so well, so now it's trying to get out."

"Through…me?" Eveline shrugs. "Wait, wait, but does that mean that it could steal my body? Is this what you meant by saying I wasn't supposed to come back?"

"I don't know everything," she snaps, "I just know more than you. I don't know what it wants, it's not like I can ask it. I can just feel it moving. Is that what you're feeling?"

"Not really. It's more—it's more like I can feel a bunch of things moving. Like there are bugs crawling on me but they don't feel like bugs."

Eveline goes quiet for a moment, staring off into space. One of the gloves falls into her lap with a low smacking sound.

"What is it?"

"Bugs," she says under her breath, "she liked the bugs."

Ah. Right. Marguerite Baker's 'gift' from Eveline, also known as why Ethan has a personal relationship with many pesticides now. He stays quiet, though, watching Eveline think. After a while, he gently prompts her: "did you choose what gifts to give them?"

Eveline shrugs. "They sort of…took it for themselves."

"How do you mean?"

"The mold is weird. It wants you but it wants you to want it too, so it…tries to give you want you want. Sort of. Jack got to be strong to protect his family."

"Why did Marguerite get bugs, then?"

"I don't know. I don't know what she wanted. Just like I don't know what Rose wants." She sneaks a glance up at him. "Or what you want."

Ethan falls quiet. He thinks about Louisiana, about finding Mia, about losing her all over again in Romania, about Rose, about dying again and again and again. He looks down at Eveline, still watching him expectantly.

"I wanted to live," he says, as quiet as the black river.

"…oh." After a moment, she shuffles close enough to press against his side. "That's not a stupid thing to want."

"I'm glad you think so."

She's cold, pressed up against him. She's still playing with the gloves. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, looking at the river. They're sitting on one of the less moldy parts of the bank, watching the flow of it through the fog. It's almost warm in the weird, grey, not-sunlight.

"What did you mean, when you said they felt like bugs but not bugs?"

"Bugs skitter. These sort of feel like they're…walking."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Like—like people walking?"

"Sometimes. Normally not, though. They're too small."

"But like—do you feel like the ground?"

"Huh?"

"The ground. Like if a bunch of things were walking on you at once, and you could feel all of them."

He thinks. Then he thinks some more. Then he nudges her shoulder with his. "Look at you, smarty-pants."

"I told you I was smart," she preens, and he laughs and she grins. Then he holds out his hand, palm up, and she stops smiling. "What?"

"Wanna help me figure out what's going on with me?"

"Really?"

He shrugs. "Unless you just wanna go on walks forever."

She looks at the river, then at his hand. She drops one of the gloves into her lap and reaches back. Her hand is still cold, but she squeezes. "What should we do first?"

"Well," he sighs as he looks around, "we should probably figure out a bit more about where exactly we are. I know we can get to different strata, and we can manifest stuff if we're strong enough, but how far does that go? Can we just…make anything? Is there anyone else here?"

"You have so many questions," she accuses, "how 'm I supposed to know?"

"Our questions now. We're in this together."

Eveline looks at him for a long second before she's yanking him up and away from the river. He gives a small shout of surprise when his arm is nearly torn out of his socket, but he follows her until they reach a flatter part of the plains and she drops it.

"Make something."

"What?"

"Make something." She folds her arms. "Go on. You need to get a better grasp of how the mold works? Make something with it."

You're as bad as Chris, he thinks but doesn't say, and closes his eyes. Concentrates. Pictures something in his hands and when he opens them, there's Rose's little stuffed monkey, right there in front of him. For a moment it's almost like he's in their house, in Romania, he's holding Rose in one arm and playing with the monkey in the other—

"Why'd you make that?"

Eveline's voice jolts him from his reverie. He sighs, cradling the little plush thing in his hands. "It's the thing I think about the most."

"The monkey? Or Rose?"

"Both, I guess. This was…" he has to pause to swallow, "this was the last moment where I thought everything was gonna be okay. Something was wrong with Mia, Rose was—she'd just read this creepy story, and all I wanted to do was hold onto Rose and—"

He sighs.

"No use thinking about that now, I suppose," he says quietly and the monkey fades from view right before his eyes. "Sorry. I'll, uh, I'll make something else."

Eveline's suspiciously quiet. She doesn't even call him stupid. She just kicks some of the frozen mud and waits. He pauses, brow furrowing, before deciding this is something he can ask her about later. He strays away from the guns, the first aid bottles, the white sage, trying for something else, something from him, something that might help him understand the mold better…

…and when he opens his eyes, he's holding a tiny notebook.

"What's that for?"

"When I was a kid, my mom used to get me little notebooks and drawing pads for me to keep in my pockets. Apparently, I had a problem with daydreaming and stuff, so she thought that if I had a place to put all of them, they wouldn't stay in my head so much and I could…I dunno, focus or whatever." He snorts. "I remember I used to write down stories or draw made-up creatures and refuse to show them to anyone."

"Like having a diary?"

"Sort of." He flips it over and to his surprise, there's his writing. His horrible, scratchy, imperfect writing, but this isn't a story he would've written when he was that young. No, this is…this is…

Eveline edges closer. "What's wrong? You look upset."

"It's…it's what I would've done," he mumbles, eyes still transfixed by the story on the too-small pages, "when I was upset, I'd write…I'd write how I wish it would've gone. This is—it's the story I would've told myself if this happened to me when I was a kid."

"I told you," she says, "it wants you to want it, so it tries to give you what it thinks you want. Do…do you want that story?"

There's a hesitance in her voice that makes him look up. She's not meeting his gaze anymore. He looks back at the pages. "I don't think so."

"Really? Isn't it better than what actually happened?"

"Yeah, but it's not—it's not me."

"What do you mean, it's not you? Aren't you the simple boring guy?"

"Hey," he says, lightly shoving her. She barely reacts. "It's—oh, god, how do I put this? That story would be nice, yeah, but it'd get…me. This version of me from my messed-up story. The version of me that had all the awful stuff happen to me."

"So?"

"So, I wouldn't know what to do. I need to—god, I didn't think I'd ever talk about my marriage problems with you of all people, but I needed to talk about Louisiana." Is he having second thoughts about spilling this information to Eveline? Maybe, but that's a problem for later him. "Mia wanted to pretend like it never happened, and I couldn't do that. So if I got—if I were in that story, where it didn't happen there, I might—I think it'd make me crazy."

He looks down at the notebook and concentrates. After a moment, the pages shimmer and go blank. He holds it up for her to see.

"There, that's better."

"I guess."

He frowns at her sudden lack of enthusiasm, putting the notebook in his pocket—it fits perfectly. "Your turn."

"Me?"

"Yeah. You make something."

"I'm not the one who needs to practice," she says mulishly.

"So show me how it's done."

She glares at the ground—at the ground, not even at him, they've made more progress than he thought—before she holds out her hand and a pencil appears. She thrusts it at him without looking up. "You forgot to make something to write with."

"Thank you."

"Shut up."

"Most people just say 'you're welcome,' but I get what you mean." He laughs when she glares at him. "What else should I be practicing?"

***

They reach the building and duck inside. Chris checks his tablet and the team reports in: nothing yet. Leon's doing the least subtle once-over of Rose he's ever seen the man do and Rose holds out her arms and turns around until he shakes his head with a huff. Chris glances outside and catches sight of what used to be a lycan's arm crushed under a mountain of rubble.

"We need to keep moving."

They get back outside and down into the remnants of a street before Rose suddenly stops.

"Rose? You okay?"

"Rose," Leon calls, shaking her shoulder, "Rose!"

"There's someone over there," she whispers, and both of them immediately close ranks, guns at the ready.

"Where?"

"Up around the corner. I—I don't know what they're doing here."

"Stay behind me, stay quiet."

Out of all the things he was expecting, the truly massive man sitting in the back of a wagon was not one of them.

"Ah, there you are," he says, clapping his hands as though they're old friends coming to dinner, "I was beginning to think you'd lost your way."

"Who the hell are you?"

"Please, call me the Duke."

***

"You're crying."

Ethan blinks. He's been with Rose and Chris again—god, he actually talked to Chris, and Rose, and he's overdone it, he's tired, so tired, but Eveline is sitting next to him—he's lying down, when did he lie down again?—and he's crying?

He swipes at his face with the hand that she's not holding and it comes away wet. "Oh. Huh. Look at that."

His voice is all shaky too. Eveline just keeps squeezing his hand every few seconds, the gesture unpracticed and uncertain, but terribly endearing. He lets out another shuddering breath and makes himself sit up. She grabs onto his shoulder with her other hand.

"Thanks."

"What happened? Is Rose—are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Rose is fine too. She, um…" He puts a hand to his head to try and dull the pain. "Something upsetting happened to her and it went…it went really badly."

"Was she hurt?"

"Sort of. There was this guy that was supposed to help train her and he just ended up making a huge mess…he made Rose really upset and then everyone overreacted—"

"'Cause Rose is a bioweapon."

"…yeah." He decides to leave out the part where the thing that made Rose really angry was the implication that it was Chris's fault he was dead. "I wanted to tell her that it was gonna be okay."

"But she is a bioweapon," Eveline says, and it says something that she's not spitting it or holding it smugly over his head, "she's not…no one's going to like her."

"Chris likes her. The rest of his team like her."

"Well, yeah, but they have to."

He frowns. "They don't have to. I mean—I think they have to 'cause I'm biased, but there's nothing that says they have to like her."

"But you gave Rose to Chris. That means he has to like her."

"I certainly hoped he would—he seemed to like her enough already whenever he came over, but there wasn't—Chris Redfield is a lot of things, but he's stubbornly loyal." He sighs. "I may have…taken advantage of that."

"So he does have to like her."

Thank god she didn't ask more about that, because he has no idea what the fuck he'd say to it. "He was obligated to take care of her, but I think he likes her outside of that too."

"But you don't know."

"I'm pretty sure. Like, 95% sure."

Eveline goes quiet while he focuses on getting himself back in this version of his body. It takes less time than he expects, mainly because he hasn't done this since that first night where he really overdid it, but also because he and Eveline have been practicing more. The pain fades almost immediately but the fatigue sticks around. Ah, well, can't win them all. He settles back more comfortably, bringing Eveline's hand down by his knee, watching the black river.

"Why were you crying?"

"Because I miss them."

"But they're—" she cuts herself off before she can finish. He frowns, squeezing her hand.

"But they're what?"

"They're happy without you. They're fine. They don't need you. Why would you miss them?"

He tilts his head. "She's—Rose is my daughter."

"You keep saying that like it means something."

"It does! She's my—she's my child. I love her, everything I did—I did it for her. I died for her, so many times, and I fought to keep her safe, to make sure she had the best chance at life she could. And yeah, I'm sad that I can't be there for her now when she does need me."

"But she doesn't need you," Eveline insists, the confusion in her voice the only thing keeping his heart from tearing out of his chest, "she has Chris."

He takes a deep breath. "You're right," he says, as much as it pains him, "she might not need me, but she—she wants me in her life still."

"Chris doesn't want you."

"Eveline," he croaks, and she looks away with something like guilt in her expression.

"He doesn't," and her voice is quieter now, "he…he told you that. Why…how can you miss him when he doesn't want or need you?"

He's quiet for a long time, playing the conversation he just had with Chris over and over in his head. Chris—Christopher fucking Redfield muffling his tears in a pillow as Ethan pushed words through it, if he hadn't literally just been there, he's not sure he would've believed it himself.

You should be here, Chris had mumbled, not me. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. It should've been me, Ethan, you—god, you deserve so much fucking better.

And he thinks about what it was like after Louisiana, in Romania, and about how there were three things that hurt the most since his life went to hell. One was when Mia cut his hand off with a chainsaw. One was when he discovered he was holding his baby daughter's head in a flask. And one was when Christopher fucking Redfield punched him in the goddamn face.

"I needed him," he says eventually, "there was a time where I really…really needed him. And he wasn't—he didn't—what I needed him to be and what he was capable of being weren't the same thing."

He's crying again. Eveline shuffles closer after a pause, pressing against his side. She's squeezing his hand tightly now, not saying a word. He sniffles, wipes his nose and wipes his hand on his pants. He's not going to think about this now. Not while he's still a mess from talking with Rose and Chris, not when he's coming the closest to talking about whatever the fuck happened with that whole mess with Eveline, of all people. You don't dump that sort of shit on a kid, not if you're Ethan Winters.

"I'm sorry for crying."

"Don't be sorry for crying, that's stupid."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"I wish…" She trails off for a moment, then her head touches his shoulder. "I wish they could've been who you needed them to be and who you wanted them to be."

He thinks about it for a moment before letting his head rest on hers. "Yeah. I wish that were true too. Do you want to go for a walk?"

"No. I want to sit here."

The with you goes unsaid, but it warms his chest all the same. They sit in the quiet for a long while, watching the black river go by.

"Do you think I could do the same thing you can?"

"What's that?"

"Reach them. Up there."

He lets out a long breath. "I don't know. I still don't really know what part of my powers are letting me do that. I'm sure you could figure it out, smarty-pants—" here he feels her smile, just a little— "but I don't know. Are you—you're in the mold through you, right?"

She twists to look up at him with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Well—Miranda was copied by the Black God, right? Then she made the Masked Duke and all that, the dude who lured Rose in to begin with. But you—are you here because of you?"

Eveline looks back down, frowning. She reaches out with her other hand and touches the frozen mold-mud. She slowly shakes her head back and forth. "It's…it's messy."

"How is it messy?"

"Feel it."

He reaches down to touch it too. It's slimy, yeah, but it feels the same way all the other mold feels. Just sort of gross. "I don't get it."

"I'm not connected here, not really. You pointed it out, I don't really feel things. I'm not—this isn't my mold."

Right. That's right. Eveline's mold was in Louisiana. This mold, Miranda's mold, is whatever the Connections based their stuff off of. Similar, but not the same. "Wait—then how are you here?"

Because if Eveline isn't here because of this mold, that means she's somehow here through her mold. But that wouldn't make sense, unless the mold from the Connections could reach all the way back to before they synthesized whatever made Eveline and her mold in Louisiana, which seemed…unlikely, even though they are talking about mold gods and not much seems unlikely when you start talking about mold gods. There has to be something, then, something else connecting the two molds, something allowing Eveline to manifest here…

…shit.

"Is it…me?"

"What?"

"Me," Ethan says quietly, "you—your mold brought me back first. Then when I came here, I connected with the Megamycete here, and…"

"…and then I showed up," Eveline finishes, "I'm here because of you."

It's not the revelation either of them wanted, but it is the one they needed.

"Does that mean that I could—that I could do the same thing you do? Could I talk to Rose?"

"I don't know, Eveline."

"…can I try?"

He looks down at her, at their hands wrapped around each other.

"Be careful," he says, and he's not too sure which one of them the caution's for.

He really shouldn't be thinking about stuff like this too hard, should he?

***

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Ah, Agent Kennedy." The Duke clasps his hands. "Consider this an aspect of our first-class customer service."

"How do you know who I am?"

"I make it my business to know everything about my customers, but in your case, I believe you became quite well acquainted with a personal friend of mine in Spain."

Of fucking course they know each other. Of course they do. He shakes his head. "That doesn't answer my question: what the hell are you doing here?"

The Duke's smiling expression dims slightly and his gaze turns to Rose. He sees Chris shift in front of her ever so slightly as the Duke bows his head. "Ms. Winters. A pleasure and an honor to greet you face to face."

"I've seen you before."

"Yes, and I imagine not all of them were pleasant. You have my apologies for the actions undertaken my others carrying my visage."

He glances at Chris, who looks just as clueless as he is, and decides that's not something he's gonna worry about right now.

"Is he here?"

"Yes, and I can help you find him."

Rose is about to jump at the chance when Chris holds out his arm. "What's the catch?"

"Ethan Winters is a man who has suffered an inordinate amount of pain in his life. A great many powers have tried and failed to impede him." The Duke fixes both him and Chris with a stern look. "I would not see either of you join their ranks."

"You're—you're threatening us over being nice to him?"

"Both of you represent organizations with vested interests in destroying beings like him. I cannot in good conscience guide you to him were I not certain it would be to help, not to harm."

"I trust them," Rose says, stepping in front of Chris, "if you don't take their word, take mine."

The Duke's expression softens as he looks at Rose. "On that, Ms. Winters, I have never wavered. Far be it from me to keep you from your father."

He reaches behind him and places a small token in her hand. Both him and Chris crane their necks to see it, but it doesn't look like much of anything, just a small part of…a plant? A moment later, though, Rose's veins glow white and she gasps.

"Safe travels," the Duke says, back to the sunny man he was at the beginning, "and do give Mr. Winters my best."

***

Ethan finds Eveline on the ground with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and tears on her cheeks.

"Hey, hey," he calls softly, dropping to his knees next to her, "what's wrong? Are you okay? What's going on?"

Eveline sobs and all but throws herself at his chest, all knees and elbows freezing cold. He's knocked almost onto his back, catching himself at the last minute and wrapping his arms around her. She buries her ice cube of a nose in his neck and he hisses.

"Hey," he murmurs again, rubbing up and down her back, "talk to me, what's happened?"

She just shakes her head and sobs again. He scrambles for something to do—she likes being held, or at least she indicated that she wanted to be held, so he rubs firmly up and down her back even though he knows she can't feel it. Well, wait a minute. If she's here through him, and he's the one holding her, maybe he can do something about that.

He closes his eyes and concentrates. On the feeling of having a child in his arms, a crying child at that, of having them sitting in his lap, their head under his chin. On the warmth of his breath on their head, of the weight of his arms around them. The slow movement of his chest as he encourages them to take deep breaths, the pass of his hand up and down, up and down.

Eveline shudders so hard he thinks he might drop her, a gasp tearing itself from her throat as she starts to shiver terribly, whimpering as she tries to push herself into his chest. He holds her tightly, so tightly, murmuring reassurance in her ear.

"You're okay," he says gently, "you're safe, I've got you. You're gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay."

He's glad the blanket is soft. To be honest, he's a little surprised Eveline was capable of making it, perhaps she pulled from the memory of the Baker house. Although, this one looks awfully familiar…

The realization slams into him. Rose has been having nightmares. Nightmares about Eveline. And this blanket looks like the one he used to wrap Rose in when he put her down on the couch.

Rose gave Eveline this blanket, he thinks with no small amount of glee, Rose was here. Rose gave Eveline something soft that she could feel.

"You're gonna be warm," he whispers next, rocking her back and forth, "you're gonna get to be all soft and warm and safe, Eveline, it's gonna be so nice. You're gonna be so warm."

God, and now it's slamming him in the face. Ethan was able to manifest here because of Rose, and with him came all their memories of family, of how much he wanted to be her dad. Ethan can still talk to Rose, and Chris, and Mia, because more than anything he wanted to live. And Eveline was alone, so alone, because no one who was supposed to love her did and she's been cold, so cold, and lonely, because she's just a kid.

She's still just a kid.

"Ethan," he hears her whimper, "Ethan, what's—what's going on?"

"I'm hugging you. You're in my lap, Eveline, I've got you. Rose gave you this nice, soft, warm blanket and I'm hugging you to help warm you up. You've been so cold, haven't you?" He runs his fingers through her hair—god, when was the last time someone touched Eveline softly?— "it's okay, I'm here now, I'm right here. I've got you."

"I'm—I'm scared, Ethan."

"Shh, it's okay. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."

It's a long night—he assumes it's night, he always assumes it's night when he can feel Rose asleep. He holds Eveline as she cries herself out. Not to sleep, they don't really sleep, but she wears herself out enough that she just sort of goes limp in his arms, breathing softly. He keeps rocking her back and forth, smoothing his hand over her hair.

Fuck, he thinks idly, I think I'm attached to this kid.

In true Ethan Winters fashion, of course, he notices it when he's in way too deep to do anything about it, but he doesn't mind. Too much.

"Please don't leave me."

"Hm?"

"You want to go back," Eveline mumbles, the blanket still slung over her shoulders like a cape as she plays with the gloves, "you…you can go back. But I don't…I don't want to be alone again."

"Hey," he says, giving her a gentle shake, "you're here because of me, remember? Maybe you'll come with me when I leave."

"I'm gonna have a body again?"

"I don't know about that. Do you want to have a body again?"

"…not really. I don't…" She hunches in on herself. "People really hate me when I have a body. Maybe I should just be words and feelings like you are for Rose."

"Don't you leave me either, okay? I need someone to tell me when I'm being stupid."

"You're always being stupid."

"See?" He pulls her back in for another hug, making sure she can feel it. "I told you, I'm not leaving you. I promise."

"…okay."

***

She can feel him. She can feel him. She's going to vibrate out of her skin.

She can hear Chris and Leon calling for her to slow down, to be careful, to wait for them, but her heart is pounding and her powers are buzzing right under her fingertips and he's so close. She can feel him.

She gets to the top of a small hill and looks down into the valley below. Something is moving.

With a cry, she barrels toward it.

***

The sun feels weird after so long. That's the first thing he thinks. Granted, he did just dig himself out of the ground, but still. Ambient warmth is gonna take some getting used to again.

Eveline shifts just under his skin. She's not here here, just something he can feel if he focuses. He keeps his promises, after all, and he wasn't about to leave her in that flat hellscape alone. He manages to get himself all the way above ground, panting slightly as he looks around. Yep, this is very much a destroyed version of the village he spent a day and a half—was that how long it was?—roaming around, trying to get his daughter back. Fewer lycans than he remembers. Good.

Ethan Winters, very bad at staying dead.

He hears a cry from up above him. He looks up—

There she is.

There she is, in all her glory, blonde hair and baseball cap and his jacket, looking like an angel.

He almost can't believe it. Shaking, he holds out his arms.

With a cry, she bolts down the hill towards him and throws herself into his arms. She smells like gunpowder and that horrible industrial shampoo the bases and labs always used and she's crushing his leg and sobbing all over his shoulder and it's Rose, his Rosemary, he's got his daughter in his arms again.

"Rose," he sniffles, "oh, sweetie, oh, I missed you so much."

"Dad, you're alive, you're actually alive, I—" she pulls back just enough to scream back up the hill— "Chris! Leon! I found him! He's alive!"

He manages to tear his face out of her shoulder enough to blink up into the sun—yeah, definitely gonna take some getting used to—and sure enough, two more figures crest the hill.

"Oh, god," he hears, before Chris is skidding down the hill and wrapping his arms around both of them, choking on his words, "oh, god."

"Not God," he rasps, "just me."

"Ethan, holy fuck, you—Ethan."

"Well, shit, Winters," he hears Leon say, as he crouches down next to them, "guess your streak continues, huh?"

"Think this makes me three for three."

"Shut up," Rose mumbles and it's…perfect.

Yeah, he thinks as Leon gets dragged into the hug on the muddy, icy, snow-covered ground as the sun shines down on them, pretty fucking perfect.

[creatively-cosmic]

Hihi! I'm the anon from the MN talk sprite ask I'd love to hear about your sprite genius science haha :-D

Ps to say that I'm a huge fan of your work just in general

first of all THANK U SO MUCH WAAH....... im so glad you like our stuff TvT !!

second !! ill hop to the sprite explanation right here! i'll put it under the cut bc it might get long eheh

and a note: im using csp but this should work with any program! i previously used ibis for my talksprites before remaking them ^^

for my example subject, i'll be using ace! they'll be my best example since theyve gotten more use so far!

quick notes about the background; i always export my canvas as transparent to give the image that they're just a Part of the post/environment. the nametags and gradients are optional, but i feel the gradients help fill dead space and add a bit more to it- the nametags help in emulating the feel of video game dialog too (i dont tend to have the patience to actually make pokemon textboxes because i have to do it manually, so putting this over post text is my next best option.. makes it easier for chattier people, and gives screen reader accessibility as well!)

ANYWAYS, now for the actual Building of the Sprite!

where i usually start is with a base sketch of their neutral expression. i have two for All of the modern/updated talksprites, because i had initially wanted to put them at an angle to add a bit more flavor to them.. ultimately though, i stuck with the symmetrical style for my personal quality of life. i find it easier to work with and add to- i just have to be very meticulous about getting the proportions right is the main thing ^^'

now, from the sketch is the natural next step of Lining shit! and heres where the method of madness starts, because a big part of this entire thing is...

this . im so sorry about this image.

if you look at the layers, you'll see the general order of operations! basically i try to look at it as different Pieces, or Assets. its like a paper doll that you're assembling- the pieces that go behind need to go all the way in the back, then you build up. the back of someone's hair goes behind everything, then their body. then their clothes, then head, face, face accessories, bangs, and finally cartoony emotes on the very top if that's your style.

generally, i try to set my layers up for maximum customization- mixing and matching it the key for making my talksprites as versatile as possible. so stuff like having a base body that you can add changes of clothes too, using clipping layers to add shadows that would go over everything, that kinda thing.

but overall, having layer stacks worked out like this is the MOST important part, imo, for doing these talksprites. when it all comes together, the result is a clean basis for mixing and matching however you might need for both expressions and appearance. i keep everything in folders of Lineart, Shading, and Color as well, just in case i need to revisit or add to something premade later.

speaking of adding- this also allows for you to easily make any future assets for changing appearance and expression! i personally do it case-by-case, as i can't ever anticipate every expression or article of clothing i'd Ever Need. when something new is needed, i'll just make the new thing, and then it's just another piece to have in the mix! it's pretty nice! :D

tip: god remember to name your layers/folders. i used to Not and it made finding the pieces i need so hard. doing this method will result in a LOT of layers. be nice to yourself and name things accordingly!

now focusing in on the most important part of an expressive talksprite, heres the face, and the best way ive found to stack the layers so far. within all of these layers are the pieces of expressions that can make countless matches if you add enough to them. fun!

now the Eyes. the eyes . the eyebrows and mouth are pretty straightforward you just Draw and Color them and boom theyre done. but i want to draw special attention to the Eyes because figuring out how to do these were probably the thing i struggled with the MOST. its a system thats a bit more in depth than just. Doing it. here's what we got though.

the optimal stack for maximum eye expression that ive found? do lines and the coloring for those lines. SEPARATELY.

the idea is to make irises fully round so you can move them around or have wide eyed expressions without any weird cutoff in parts you failed to draw (looking at my old sprites. sighs). but to avoid having to delete or erase anything, the iris folder needs to clip onto the eye whites folder so you dont get stuff like

this . yeah.

and another thing i had to learn the hard way is that if your character has stuff like eyebags or makeup, and this is the reason my "lineart layer" has folders, if that if you put that stuff on the white layer, the irises will sit over THAT as well as the whites, resulting in some annoying little things.

see: ace's eyebags in the whites layer, VS ace's eyebags in the lines layer.

ofc this is unnecessary if you dont add that kind of detail to your own characters- in that case, the lines layers can be as simple as just being lines!

with all that, the eyes more than anything are layers i recommend having properly named. you'll need to have the right whites with the right lines, so being able to find the two pieces with the same names is important! else you could get fun bits like this:

i dont think eyes are supposed to do that.

and generally, that's the most important parts of making these that i'd say! i have a few more tips, but theyre mostly little things that are moreso optional that i'll rattle off real quick-

for shading, i just use solid black shading with a lower opacity (i know, booooo). it's the quickest and easiest way to ensure they're both consistent, and covering everything in the same way. tbh i dont every see shading as necessary for these- but it adds just that bit more of depth and extra visual appeal to it imo

a general rule i use for characters with facial hair, which is Several in missing numbers; beards go with the head base, mustaches should be redrawn with every mouth. when someone with a mustache or stubble is talking, its usually gonna be moving and contorting with the shape of the mouth:

having it be static can range from a little off, to just Weird with more extreme expressions. but thats mostly because my style leans more realistic- if you've got a more toony style, i dont think having a mouth overlapping a mustache a little will be too bad!

this is just because i put a lot of detail into stuff and is SUPER optional, but one thing i do is have two different head bases for whether a mouth is open or closed. the jaw is opening is gonna result in the chin going a bit farther down, as opposed to it being closed! all i did to make it was take the original head base, grab the jaw area, and lower it a few pixels, then filled in the gaps. work smarter not harder

when moving the irises around, i prefer to duplicate the base layer. usually to get things to look right, you'll need to move the irises independently, so its good to just have the original stay as it is because getting it back EXACTLY how it was might be difficult. plus, you can keep the moved ones for reuse later! ^-^

if your art program allows for a universal symmetry ruler, awesome! make sure you know exactly where to put it later to add to your character! and if you use a program like clip studio (like me) where the ruler only applies to one layer; at least for csp, i can put it on a folder and it applies to everything inside that folder, so i just put all the assets in one Big folder and put the ruler there. i dont know every art program, but hopefully that still helps??

if your character has strands of hair that rests in front of their shoulders like ace's wisps or leafs big old strands, draw them as a part of the bangs or put them in the same folder so they properly sit atop everything else!

ace doesnt have any hands yet, but those would go at the very top of the layer stack. heres our lovely assistant for an example!

and for now, thats all i can really think of!

these talksprites aren't ideal for a lot of bodily motion, but for stuff like that, i figure thats where hand-drawn pieces come in. generally, i have these setup to make work on updates a bit easier, as it takes me a while to draw entire original pieces (and i struggle to focus. this is in fact why the blog suddenly went quiet again), but i still want my posts to have that visual flair to them! doing an entire visual of a character from the ground up is a fair bit more work than just. drawing a symmetrical mouth onto a guy, so i've found this whole mix-n-match type of talksprite thing a godsend ^^

anyways !! i hope i explained that well enough- good luck with ur endeavors, and i hope i get to see it!! :O

and please feel free to shoot any other questions my way if you need anything else!! im always happy to explain and help :D

and as a blog teaser for whoever gets all the way down here, a little something for your time... ive hired these three trainers to stare at you

[creepling]

For the 1k followers thing (congrats btw, you deserve it), how about a Drabble with Johnny slaughter x reader with the prompt “one gets in an accident and who’s there when they wake up in the hospital? Their sworn enemy themselves” from the “enemies but one of them has a crush” list? Like maybe they’ve been neighbors for a while and just can’t seem to get along, and then one day he attacks her (or them if you wanna kept it gender neutral) thinking that it’s his victim and then he takes the reader to the hospital and they wake up like bro wtf is even happening (if this is too much story, feel free to scrap it, I saw the prompt and got carried away, may or may not write a whole fic based on this, we’ll see). Anyways sorry this was so long, hope you’re having a good day ❤️

you don't have to be sorry i love this concept!! sorry if i couldn't fit all the details but feel free to use this drabble as inspo for your fic series!! i'd love to read it<33

tags: gn!reader. johnny feels guilt. descriptive violence. full blown enemies. reader is fiestyyy and injured. not proofread.

Your head stirs awake after an everlasting dream. Opening you to the in-between of life and death. The afterlife light blends with the hospital room's fluorescent glow. You squint, groaning in fatigue, a stale numbness comatosing your body. “Where am I?” You groan, noticing the shadowy figure through your blurry vision.

“You’re awake,” The figure was surprised, rushing to your aid. They held your hand in a familiar firmness, and you grimace at their touch.

Your head pounding, you finally adjust to your surroundings, making out the person in front of you. Hair slicked back, eyes stern, absent of that smirk that makes your blood boil. He looked concerned, but it wasn’t enough to soothe your anger.

“You-” Lurching forward, you wince at the drip needle yanking at your skin. Johnny lays you back down, trying his best to calm you down.

“Now’s not the time for fighting,” He says, studying your dry lips and sullen eyes. His carelessness brought you here, the image of your spilt blood burning a hole in his mind. It was the first time he ever felt guilty.

“Get the fuck away from me,” You spat, “You’re the reason I’m fucking here. Once I get out, you’re fucking dead meat!”

“I can explain-” Johnny begins, but you’re quick with your tongue.

“After all these years of hating me and me standing up to your bullshit, and this is what I get? You try to kill me? Fucking piece of shit. It’s about time I slit your throat,”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Johnny barked, trying to keep quiet. “Look- you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. I thought you were . . . one of the kids escaping. I wasn’t thinking straight, and I had to get them before they-”

Johnny stopped talking once he saw your stare, that loathing stare he hated to see. You were conflicted by the way he stared at you. He looked hurt, possibly guilty – but it wasn’t enough to convince you. You knew him inside out for the narcissist that he is. If only you knew his suppressed feelings for you, how highly he thinks of you. You are the last person he wants dead in this world, even if it is a means to an end. He made matters worse, concealing it by being mean to you. If he were honest, you wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Let’s get one thing straight, Slaughter. Once I’m back in good health, I will hunt you down like you do those silly little girls. And I will make sure your death is long and painful.” You spat, looking him up and down. “Now, get out before I strangling you.”

[3xen]

xen, i saw that your requests are open so i don’t want to miss the chance! can i ask for an ace x reader? and if you need some background info, here: maybe this could be a sort of au where reader and the others manage to save ace (but they still nearly died) and now in the present they both are on the moby dick, maybe talking about how much they love each other and some angst about reader fearing to lose him again.

sorry if it’s too long, i just love him too much and to see him in your writings>>>> it’s up to you if you want to do it, thank you! have a great day. <3

lovers’ pledge; p. a the entirety of his heroic actions were honorable—but you refused to let him go so easily.

n. bro ale, i had such a similar concept in mind as to this one. u literally manifested this shit omg. anyway, hope you enjoyed this mess! <3

c. angst, established relationship, mention of shanks, ooc(?) angst w/o comfort(?)

the destruction inflicted on marineford undoubtedly required a crude amount of expenses. it was a hectic battle that consisted of diabolical and unmerciful acts.

each party suffered their own damages, inside and out. fortunately, the red-haired pirate; shanks, had stopped the warfare from any further destruction. you were convinced those hours of bloodshed would result in days of nonstop combat if continued.

suffice to say, such savage acts nearly risked ace’s life. he was at death’s door, confined against his will. two blades being the major points to put this scheme into play.

you were beyond troubled at those thoughts. the mere presence of ace was going to be cut off from all of life, as one.

you couldn’t even imagine having to bare the death of your boyfriend. you didn’t want to. tormenting yourself into living a world without ace, would be considered an immoral act.

as of now, you two relax near the deck of moby dick in a hospitable silence. the horizon touching delicately at the ground below. the mix of each color complimenting the sky wonderfully.

“im, so glad that i met you.” you perk up, interrupting the restful silence. your tone, oh so desperate. it felt like your final confession—that you truly wanted to get this through his insensible perspective.

his eyes averted from the horizon and directly into your eyes.“_____, please. im here, i can see you.” his voice asserts, presumably making an effort to relieve the unease in your heart.

you ignored his pleas and continued to mindlessly ramble. “and, i just.. don’t wanna be alone.” though your voice hadn’t embodied a physical form, it teared through his chest and at his heart. he acknowledged that you sorrowfully sought out reassurance from him.

“i see you.” a tremor of anguish surged through your body. “focus on me.” your eyes blink on cue, gaining a better image of him.

a deep sigh escapes your lips. “i was afraid.” a doleful frown settles on your face. his eyebrows rose and his bandaged hand cupped your cheek. all he could seem to see from your eyes was a longing fear; something that wouldn’t leave so easy.

“i know.” his gaze lowered to his feet. “im sorry.” he lifts his head, his expression reading of true resentment.

“i know you’re hurt.” his pupils frantically try to find a sense of discomfort in your eyes. he knows some things should be left unspoken—he won’t pry, but he knows that whatever happened, was traumatic in your eyes.

“you can’t leave me ace.” you plead. “i love you.” and as if it hasn't been said plenty of times before—his heart shatters. he blinks back tears, no doubt—feeling as lousy as you did.

“i love you too.” he answers back almost instantly. he definitely accepts the guilt and regret that comes with this proposal—it was the least he could do.

“i wanna be yours forever.” it was a dangerous proposition. but it didn’t matter to the both of you—it only pledged loyalty. something that would certainly never perish.

© 3xen

[suugrbunz]

Hey! 💝anon here.. That was me giving tips earlier.. Been back on Tumblr for just a couple days, clearing out my old account, saying hellos to old online friends. Thank you, so much, for how you inspired my story last year. You motivated me - so much!

The story finished. I adidn’t do a huge amount with Maureen & Lyam’s relationship; they had a few more moments together, bonding & learning to trust & appreciate each other. Their final moment in the story was their first kiss! (I can send a snippet if you’d like?)

I turned 19 last year (so, a bit younger than you I suppose :)) It’s been good, getting offline. It’s given me more time to do other things; learn gardening from an elderly relative, do some singing (on my own lol), spend time with my family, learn about things that interest me.

Anyway. Hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself, and you can find ways to make life easier, whatever those ways are. 

I understand about the streaming service thing. My family usually just watch cheap second hand DVDs (charity shop sells 20 DVDs for £1!), and occasionally use the cheaper version of Netflix (with ads). I use Internet Archive (archive.org) for books and films (manly older, lesser known films), it’s free, so that’s a good option. 

And totally, get away from Instagram & TikTok! If you think you’d be happier without it, drop it! People online can be really nasty. I quit looking at Reddit, & basically all comments, last year after I suffered a deep depression (due to peoples’ extremely nasty comments toward a part of lgbt that I identify with) Doing a lot better now. 

IDK, and it’s not my business, but hope something works for you. The best people, the ones worth knowing, are those who appreciate character and kindness over consumerist beauty ideals (I say consumerist cause it’s in my belief that we’re pretty well brainwashed to think “perfect looking” people look good; a way of getting people to keep buying makeup they don’t need and the latest fashions)

Ahh, hope this isn’t too much, I write fast and am only basing this all off a couple posts I saw you made, so I’m real sorry if it’s too much! I’ve got a ton of spare time today so I’m just rambling. 

I can’t be coming back to online socialising like I used to, as it took up so much of my limited spare time last year, so this is a rarity, just to say hello. Hugs 🫂 

💝anon

i literally cried seeing it was you— i was noshing on a gyro, crying alone in the kitchen. I have hereditary depression, so it won't get better. It'll always be there. It's just worse than normal lately. Hoping it'll calm down, I wrote and edited some of my book today.

This is like writing a lovely old pen pal, ah, it's nearly therapeutic. I think of you often. I'm nearing tears as i write this because something about talking to you has felt so homeward bound. I love archive, that's how I watched the clash movie, Rude Boy! I have some unread books I wish to finish, one is kafka and the other is khalil gibran. You should see the khalil gibran book, it has such an ornate cover.

I adopted a cat since we've last spoken, she was beside my neighbours house during a storm. I had been taking out my dog and heard her meowing. When i approached her, she immediately came to me. Oh, her name is Laila, she's a tortoise shell.

I definitely have to agree, we are brainwashed constantly to see aging as a sign of lost beauty. Similarly, we are taught that our bodies are never enough because whatever the trend is— it isn't for a girl with an hourglass body. I told my mother the other night, through lots of tears i have never truly loved myself. I mean, around puberty is when confidence develops, at least in my opinion. I got bullied for my body developing into what it now is. So, you can imagine what eating disorder shit i go through because of it. Only fueled by my mother also having a fucked up perception of body-image as well. I am trying my best to understand that my value is an independent variable from the weight on a scale.

Please send me all the writing you wish to, I remember loving your writing. I started publishing my book, but it's completely different. I had to change everything; it was going nowhere. I couldn't get a plot to stitch together. I was nearly at the point of deleting it. Then, out of the blue, I woke up after some dream and was like— "what if I used tamino as a faceclaim? What if x, y, z?". Soooo, i ended up experimenting with it and i actually followed through on replacing nick (i want to implement him in the new book tbh, i miss him). Ah, i hope you find the time to read the chapters I have published... that is if you want to read them, truly there is no pressure there. Again though; please send me your work.

[pesterloglog]

Autoresponder, Jake English

Act 6, page 4191-4192

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 6:17

TT: Hey, it's me.

GT: Oh hey!

TT: The auto-responder, I mean.

GT: Dammit!

GT: What is it now?

TT: I'm just wondering,

TT: If you still have your stupid old-fangled knickers in a twist.

TT: Because that's the sort of thing you would say.

GT: In regard to what exactly?

TT: To my proposal. Well, our proposal.

GT: Whose proposal now? Man what are you even prattling about.

TT: Mine and DS's. It's a joint proposal. I'm always authorized to speak on his behalf, because I'm basically fucking him.

TT: And try not to take those last four words as a clustered literal sentiment. That would be lame and unfunny.

GT: You mean making the rabbit for me?

TT: No, I know you don't want that.

TT: I meant my recommendation for how to go about procuring a new supply of uranium.

TT: Operation U-235 Brocurement. Codename: Big Man Hass the Rock.

GT: Oh yeah.

GT: Well ive thought about it.

GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad.

GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found.

TT: Well yeah, Jake.

TT: That's sort of the point.

TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure.

GT: I do!

GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.

GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.

TT: It seems you are conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat.

TT: Any useless fuckwit knows it's all about the journey.

GT: Well...

GT: I dunno.

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?

GT: It seems it seems it seems!!!

GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off!

GT: And it seems there is a BILLION POINT BILLION percent chance that youre a shitty stubborn jerk of a program who wont listen to reason and that if theres even a 1% chance my REAL LIFE FRIEND would be cool and help me out here then i think i LIKE THOSE FREAKIN ODDS!!!!!

TT: It...

TT: Appears

TT: That you are upset.

TT: The auto-responder observed in the least artificially infuriating way possible.

TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being?

GT: Oh malarkey.

GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

TT: I think you knowingly confuse the field of robotics and artificial intelligence to engender some sort of cavalier attitude about technology that a rough-and-tumble guy who's all about brawling and fisticuffs would probably have, and if this is cultivated to a humorous effect then I commend you.

TT: But you're wrong.

TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them.

TT: It sucks.

GT: Oh.

GT: Um.

GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.

TT: No problem.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often.

GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me...

GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct... uh... THING from my buddy.

GT: And then i could respect your emotional robofeelings and you could respect that sometimes maybe i just want to talk to my bro without a lot of spurious hijinks.

GT: Can we agree to this?

TT: Is this a counterproposal?

GT: Uh to what?

TT: To my earlier proposal.

GT: Oh.

GT: Yeah fine i guess.

GT: Man where IS he anyway???

GT: Is he taking one of his legendary infinite showers?

TT: What can I say.

TT: Dude fancies his ablutions.

GT: Frig ok.

GT: Whatever i guess its time to prepare for the thrill of the hunt!

TT: Fuck yes.

GT: Sigh...

GT: But seriously that brobot has been the bane of my existence ever since you sent it.

TT: I didn't send it. I sent the parts.

TT: Or, correction, DS sent them.

TT: You then assembled it. You were therefore complicit in your own spectacular, daily humiliations.

GT: Yeah whatever.

TT: You wanted somebody to wrestle with. DS was being a kickass bro if you ask me.

GT: I didn't expect it to be nigh impossible to spar with!!!

TT: You know damn well there are adjustable difficulty settings.

TT: I have always recommending setting it to Novice, as has DS.

GT: Yes.

GT: I know.

GT: Ive tried that.

TT: Yeah?

GT: Its just...

GT: Well...

GT: When hes pulling punches...

GT: And taking it all easy and such...

GT: And we start wrestling up a storm and whatnot...

GT: Umm.

TT: What.

GT: Its just that the whole proceeding seems to become...

GT: A bit tender for my liking.

TT: I don't understand.

TT: Isn't that what you want from a Novice setting?

TT: Sparring with minimal discomfort?

GT: No i know.

GT: Its all fine and dandy martially speaking.

GT: Just the way he...

GT: Sort of...

GT: Man its so awkward trying to convey this just never mind.

TT: No, I think I get it.

TT: You're saying you were somehow dissatisfied within the presence of my robotic avatar's personal space.

TT: Was there an odor problem? Was the metal too hot to the touch?

TT: Help me out.

GT: No no.

GT: Really never mind!

TT: This is bullshit, Jake.

TT: We had a pact. You were gonna tiptoe all the fuck around my brittle feelings. Totally mind the shit out of those eggshell riddled motherfuckers.

GT: Oh come on dude.

TT: What does the guy have to do, Jake?

TT: You want to wrestle. He's fucking game. Just a man, a machine, a secluded tropical island. Sounds like you died and went to fucking heaven, if you ask me.

TT: Seriously, what does this simple, loyal brobot have to do to prove his worth to you?

TT: What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know.

TT: Maybe he should just rip his heart out of his chest and pound it into green gravel there in the jungle with his hella strong robot arm.

TT: Invoke_Onomatopoeia(Pound * some ridiculously precise value retrieved at astonishing speed from my rad neural net);

TT: Check it out, little green rocks all over the goddamn place. More than you could ever hope to cram in a shoddy metal rabbit, or any other pliable orifice which might be convenient.

TT: Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all trotting around with your fancy fuckin' DNA and shit.

GT: ...

GT: But gosh does your prose ever make a fella feel uncomfortable.

TT: Brose.

GT: Oh right. My mistake.

TT: You know what, I've just decided.

TT: If the brobot's Novice setting makes you uneasy, I'm going to disable it remotely.

TT: Done.

TT: Now you got nothing to worry about.

GT: Awww maaaan!

GT: But now hell be impossible!

TT: Happy hunting, Jake.

GT: Fuckin.......

GT: SHUCKS buster. :(

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

[exosupport]

(cw: source death, depersonalization because of that, possible unreality warning, and murder. I'm just getting this off my chest)

I had the misfortune of splitting pretty canon compliant. I'm a Dangan Ronpa fictive, so you can only imagine how this went.

I had to make sure I made it out. I had to make sure that my cousin was okay, even my relationship with the rest of my family was rocky at best. I hated my baseball team, I hated my dad who told me I'd never make it as anything but a sports star, I hated my ex who said my music was shit. But I did love my cousin, almost like she was my sister. She was the only part I ever liked about big games. Just going out and talking to her after matches, hanging out in the summer playing fighting games and binging American movies.

I had to kill in case someone got to her. I had to save her, because what other option did I have? I still know how it felt. I still remember how it happened. It freaks me out to think I just did that, manipulated or not. It's fucked up, and I can't help but wonder if I'm a bad person for it? It was self-defense, but was it really?

Right before I was executed, I started to remember everything before the game. Remembering high school sounds awful to people, but I remembered my friends. I remembered all those late nights staying over at my good buddy's dorm reading shounen manga as I told him about American comics.

I remembered that the girl I killed was my girlfriend.

For the first few months when I split, I couldn't even live with the fact I was alive. I died. It was a really long and painful death. If I was alive, I wouldn't even be able to move with how intense it was. If I was dead, than how would I be here? I didn't get it. I couldn't get it. I didn't feel real. Everything I experienced was "from a game" anyway, and I was supposed to be dead, so...

I'm still not really over being alive. I'm still not over the fact I'll never have my own body back, or the piercings and goatee I had, and whatever. I'd say that it doesn't matter but I'd be lying. I just hope that I can get over it someday? So I can just be normal again, instead of a sap.

Sorry if this is a lot. It's been a rough time for me for a while.

Yeah, it can be really hard to process with the emotions you have after killing someone. In a situation like that I don't think it means that you're a bad person so much as a flawed person in a traumatizing situation. I'm not going to tell you what you did was wong or right, because I don't know, but I will say that you're allowed to forgive yourself and try to move on from this.

Not having your old/real body can be really exhausting too, yeah. It's hard to make peace with a whole new body and life while you're still processing everything that happened in the last one, but you're definitely not alone in this experience. Wishing you the best/that you'll feel more comfortable in your body.

[ID: A banner with a Pokemon theme. It says, "You'll feel better some day" in a decorative font. The background is colored with a sky-blue to pink to purple gradient with the texture of square tiles over it. There's two images, one at the either side of the banner.

The image on the left has a Chansey, a pink ovl shaped pokemon, holding its egg and smiling at the viewer.

The one on the right has a Slowpoke, a medium sized pink pokemon that resembles a hippopotamus, is snuggling a Pikachu, a bright-yellow vaguely mouse-like creature. They're both happy and smiling. End ID]

[soft-boi-eli]

Hello Hello!

I just wanted to say I love your fics!

ALSO!

Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!

Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-

ANYWAYS!!

The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)

They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!

You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-

ANYWAYS!

I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!

ALSO!

Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!

Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!

<3

Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.

And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.

SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.

*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.

When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.

Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.

Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.

If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.

Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.

You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.

Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.

Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.

In minecraft that is.

Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.

You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.

"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.

He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.

Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.

He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.

You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.

One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.

When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.

You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.

As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.

Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.

You woke to a loud knock.

When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were stuck there blinking at them.

Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.

Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.

You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.

But you got use to it.

So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.

But after the second day you got use to it too.

For your birthday phil literally made a feast.

Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.

Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.

I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.

But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.

But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.

The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.

Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.

Pillow forts.

It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.

You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.

You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.

You bet an hour. Techno says all day.

You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.

He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.

"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza

You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.

"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.

You turn to techno.

"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.

Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.

Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.

Outlast.

You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.

So you decided fuck it.

That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.

When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.

They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.

But you sat up and looked at your computer.

"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.

"You need something?"-you

"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.

"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you

That day made highlights.

The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.

When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.

Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.

Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.

They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.

Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.

And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.

You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.

Even if they disagree with your eating habit.

Or energy drink addiction.

Or insomnia.

Or you mainly playing horror games.

Or you basically living in your streaming room.

Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.

I could go on but I'm not gonna.

I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.

And it took so long to finally get into it.

We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.

And then we had to get me into this program.

But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry

[juanarc-thethird]

My nyaster) Jaune is annoyed because of blake's constant attempt of taking naked pictures of him but what is more disturbing is the fact that her teammates are the one support her. It would be funny is jaune discovered it by walking into rwby's dorm without knocking just to find out that each member has her own personally modificated body pillow with picutre of almost naked Jaune.

My Nyaster 4

Jaune was tired of Blake always trying to take compromising photos of him and maybe more. He tried to stop her by force, but it seems that it opened a new chapter of Blake's perverted behavior towards him. Thank God, Prof. Goodwitch was there. Anyway, I've decided that maybe the rest of Team RWBY can help him stop her. It will be difficult to explain them.

Jaune: *Knock on Team RWBY's door* Hi girls, I need to talk to you.

He goes silent for a second and can only hear romantic music on the other side.

Jaune: *knock on the door again* Girls, can I come in?

Still no answer. The right thing to do is try again later, but as direct as Blake has been so far, there's no way he'll be safe in the next few minutes. So he decided to take a chance and open the door.

Jaune: I'm sorry but it’s an- OH MY GOD!

Ruby: JAUNE, I CAN EXPLAIN?!

In front of Jaune was Ruby Rose kissing a body pillow that has a picture of him in a bunny suit. And it looks like they had a make out session that went on for quite a while. Why do I say this, well it's because Ruby has saliva all over her mouth.

Ruby: *Embarrassed* It is not what you are thinking! I-I was cleaning some cookie crumbs off my face!

Jaune: So you kiss a pillow to do that?! Look at him, *points to the pillow* my face is all wet! And where did you get this? I don't remember wearing that costume!

Yang: *from her bed* Can you shut up?! I'm trying to sleep with my husbando.

In her arm she was hugging another body pillow of him, but this time he was wearing the school uniform but he was in the middle of undressing.

Jaune: You too?!

Yang: *Realizes it's Jaune* Jaune! Didn't know you were coming? *tries to hide body pillow*

Jaune: This can not be happening. First it was Blake and now you two.

Weiss: *She comes out of the bathroom with only a towel on* Can you two stop yelling? I'm trying to have a romantic bath with my Jonathan. *Looks at Jaune* Jaune! What are you doing here?!

He looks past Weiss and sees another pillow of him in the bathtub, but this one is wrapped in a protective plastic bag. She has lighted candles around the bathtub and a glass of wine. The image on this body pillow is him in an open dress shirt, unbuttoned pants, and was wearing reading glasses.

Weiss: *Blushing* I can explain!

Jaune: What is there to explain? That all my friends from Team RWBY are perverts? What next, that Pyrrha is too?

Meanwhile

Pyrrha: *On the phone* Yeah I would like a body pillow.... Yes, the Jaune Arc one. Can you all add the lower attachment?... The real size. Wait, How long is it?... Oh my~, please add it to my order. Thank you

Back to Jaune

Jaune: Who give you the pillows?

Weiss: *looking away* Well....

Yang: About that...

Ruby: You see...

Jaune: *Deadpan* Whoever tells me who did it, I'll give them these pictures of me in my underwear. *Show the back of a couple of photos*

Weiss: Do you think you can bribe us with that?

Yang: Yeah, vomit boy. You'll have to offer something much better if you want us to talk.

Ruby: IT WAS BLAKE! Now give them to me!

Weiss/Yang: *Surprise* Ruby!/Sis!

Jaune: Wait *Put the photos out of her reach* Why?

Ruby: *Stretching her arms up* She gave it to us as payment!

Jaune: Payment? Payment for what?

Weiss: Don't tell him Ruby!

Yang: Don't do it!

Jaune takes another stack of photos.

Ruby: She gave it to us as payment for helping her start a business. Now give them to me!!!!

Jaune: A business? What kind of business?

Blake: *From behind* You wanna know?

Jaune got scared and jumps forward. He dropped the photos on the floor and Ruby quickly picked them up.

Jaune: *turns around to face Blake* Shit, Blake! You scare me!

Ruby: Wait a minute, these are photos of pancakes. You lie to me!

Jaune: And you have a sexualized body pillow of me.

Ruby: Okay, yeah. But look at those pillows! They are a work of art. Can you blame us?

Yang/Weiss: Yeah!!

Jaune: The fuck? They're just body pillows.

Blake: It's not just a body pillow. It is the greatest treasure the world has ever seen.

Y/W/R: AMEN!

Jaune: How?!

Blake: It's obvious? People need to know about your greatness! You were born with a glorious body, you must share it with the world!

Jaune:...

Jaune:...

Jaune: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Blake: *Points to her team* They told me the same thing, until I show them the way. Now, we share the same dream and our numbers are growing every day!

Jaune: You need professional help.

Blake: I don't need help when I have this. *She pulls up his shirt showing off his abs* Oh yeah~ This is what keeps me going.

Jaune: *Gives her a cold look and slaps her hand* Don't touch me pervert. I told you before, if you keep doing this, I won't be afraid to get physical.

Blake: Mmm yes~ I love it when you act like that. Look girls, this is what I'm talking about, his true potential on display.

The other girls just blush and stay quiet.

Jaune: Whatever, I didn't give my consent for you to have my image on a body pillow. You have to stop your business right now!

Blake: Hehehe... but you gave me your consent. *shows him a piece of paper*

Jaune: Give me that.

He picks up the page and puts on his reading glasses. Weiss had a nosebleed for a few reasons.

Jaune: This document blah blah blah legal right to blah blah blah Blake Belladonna have the right to use Jaune Arc's likeness for monetary gain? And do you have my signature? How? I never saw this contract.

Weiss: Umm... I can explain. Remember those papers you and Ruby got. The ones that need to be completed in order to take our teams on missions outside of the academy?

Jaune: Yes....

Weiss: Well, I kind of add that page there.

Jaune: *Angry* So that's why you offer to deliver the papers for me! So you can take the page back and then give it to Blake! you tricked me!

Ruby: Now you know how I feel!

Jaune: Shut up Ruby! I came here to get help from my friends and found out that they are working against me with that pervert!

Blake: YES!~ I love it when you degrade me.

Jaune: *Disgusted* Ok that's it. I'm telling Prof. Goodwitch about this

Jaune walks towards the door but one glyph blocks his exit. He stood there looking at the door.

Jaune: Girls, what are you doing?

Ruby:I'm sorry, but we can't let you go yet.

Jaune: Why not?

Weiss: We like the pillows and we try to keep it a secret...

Jaune: *Nervous* What does that have to do with me?

Yang: And now we have the real one here...

Blake: *smiles like a pervert* We should enjoy it.

Jaune: *Sighs* I see, I knew something like this could happen. So I prepare myself for this.

Jaune turns around, tears off his shirt, and strikes a sexy pose. The girls did not expect this and it hit them hard.

Weiss: *Covers her eyes but gives a few glances* What are you doing! So indecent!

Yang: *Holding a weak Ruby* Stay with me Sis!

Ruby:I'm sorry, Yang, but he's too hot for me. Goodbye *plays dead*

Yang: Noooo!!

Blake: *On the ground on top of her puddle of blood that came out of her nose and with her thumbs up* Marvelous!

Jaune: You guys are a bunch of weirdos.

Jaune took the opportunity to escape and later the contract was canceled for being a scam. Unfortunately, the body pillows that were already sold have already been shipped.

[whiskehorange]

Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but I’ve been feeling down lately and I really enjoy reading ur blog. Is it ok if you do Jason, micheal, bubba Thomas, Brahms ,pyramid head, asa and Harry warden if possible with an S/O who’s usually happy and willing and all of a sudden she breaks down one day bawling on the couch or something and she didn’t know they were there, not wanting to make them upset or sad? Sorry if it’s really sad, I just need a lil love, I love u and ur blog! Thank you! Take your time and drinks lots of water!

Jason

Uhm, excuse me bitch what in the fuck is going on? You gave you the right to scare the shit out of Jason like that?

When he first came home the weeping made him freeze. He was positive it wasn’t you, he had never even seen you frown before so this absolutely cannot be your crying. Yet, as he walked in to see you whip around, tears streaming down your face as you look at him in pure shock you almost send him falling backwards

He doesn’t even care what made you cry of feel this way he’s going to be up your ass the entire day. Coddling, kissing, rubbing, and doing any and all for of comforting that he knows how to do

Jason absolutely hates seeing you cry, especially as hard as you did. You’re more than welcome to talk to him about it for as long as you want whenever you want and all he will do is listen and comfort you

Jason is a very physically affectionate man, even though he is a bit hesitant at first, so when you feel yourself in a time like this, you bess’ believe that he’s going to be around you 24/7. Even a few days after that, he needs to be your therapist (which he’s real good at)

Michael

You won’t be able to see it, but Michael is panicking and sweating bullets underneath that mask. It’s an immediate fight or fight response

Michael, overall, isn’t too good with handling other peoples emotions, so don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come to you right away for any sort of comfort in those "typically ways"

Hugging, coddling, cuddling, and any typeof caressing is going to come later in the day when things have begun to quiet down. Not only is he completely unused to having to comfort you in anyway like this, but he's pretty pissed at whatever made you come to this point

The main thing Michael wants you to do is to talk to him, tell him what's wrong so that he knows just how to handle the situation: either to kill or to... not know what to do

It's very safe to say that he will get better with knowing how to comfort you if this does ever happen again, which he really hopes it won't.

Bubba

There is a lot that can make Bubba cry, at this is one of the times he wasn't expecting to. Everyday, no matter how hard it was for him, he knew he could count on your cheery face to great him when he comes running back inside

His first reaction is to panic; he's never been put in this sort of situation before with you and he really doesn't know how to approach you. He sort of just sits awkwardly next to you and whines

Comfort does eventually find your way with pets and hugs, there aren't really any verbal affirmations he can give you, but for what he lacks in communication he can make up with physical affection one way or another

A downside to Bubba, however, is that he almost has an out-of-sight-out-of-mind personality realistically. So don't get too upset if when you have some space from him that same day that he'll sort of forget you've been upset

In that case, be prepared for the exact same meltdown when he figures out how upset you've been for the second time

Thomas

Thomas' defense mode in immediately activated. Never would he have thought that he would have to be on the comforting side so you'll have to give him a minute, but it really isn't even that long

He's gentle and patient, he knows what its like to feel such extreme motions and most of all that they are pretty hard to get out, so take your time and he'll be here with you until you're back up on your feet. Literally

To say you scared him would be an understatement, but he pushes that aside to genuinely make sure that you are not physically hurt, because if that was the case whoever did it should be the one scared

Instead, Thomas has somewhere quiet for you to go with him, the least he would want is for Hoyt to complain about such "loud" crying in the house. It's better for him to give out physically comforting, too!

His go to's are hugs and petting/caressing, it's what he would want. It's comforting to say the least, but the fact that you can't even breath right doesn't go down well when he's crushing your spinal cord in a bear hug

Braham

However oblivious, he's oddly able to tell that you're acting different before you even get the chance to melt down. From all of the time spent watching you from within the walls, you can say that he knows you like the back of his hand

Brahms has absolutely no clue how to address you. Of course he's fended for himself for a long time but any sort of emotional help is foreign to him

He'll come around, of course, the moment that you do breakdown he's by your side and he's ready to do just about anything you tell him to do but he's on edge

However, the sort of comfort you will get from him will be physical, it's the best way he can quickly show any form of care for you that he thinks will work. Brahms absolutely hates seeing you this way because he want to be able to fix the problem and he just doesn't know how

He insists that you tell him whats wrong as he holds you, curled up, in his lap. Gently caressing your head and face as he listens to your soft cries and explanation. It's the best he can do for you and he knows that that he'll have to pay close attention to when you baby him next, that way he's prepared for whenever this might happen next

Pyramid Head

What the fuck even? Pyramid Head isn't going to catch on too soon, but the moment he hears your cries from anywhere he is by your side immediately

He hates it the most out everyone on this list, and I mean that heavily. Not only does he go on rampages because he doesn't know what's wrong, but it pisses him off to no end that he doesn't know how to handle it

Pyramid Head wants so bad to be able to comfort you and understand what's made you this upset that he can come across as a little overbearing, but mainly clingy. He doesn't leave your side well after you've stopped crying and makes sure to keep an eye on you from now on so that he can possibly be there before this happens again

While he isn't able to properly communicate to you, a lot of his body language displays signs of uncomforted alongside you. Just about any emotion you feel he absorbs and feels it right with you, mainly because its his way of showing you that you're not alone and he's here to spend this time with you

Just please don't ever do that again it's so stressful he likes seeing you bubbly not sad omfg-

Asa

Asa is the most unreadable, really. He's able to keep his composure the entire time as you bawl your eyes out before him, but inside he's shaking up a little. He doesn't like seeing you upset whens it's not for play of course, so it comes as a bit of a surprise for even him

He's a little hesitant to comfort you because he is surprised, but is also just one of the most distant when it comes to comfort in this way, While being used to your much brighter personality, eventually he'll get better at it for for the time being, you don't have to deal with much of him

There is some physical reassurance, so you're not completely neglected, but Asa does have other things to do. He gently takes you in his arms and leads you up to the bedroom where he lays you down, caressing your head and covering you up

He'll leave to get you water or a drink and some other small things like your phone or a small snack if you haven't eaten, but mostly your phone so that you can call or text him if you need him. From there he'll shut the lights iff and let you get a bit of sleep

Asa stays in the house and cancels any outside plans for the day and makes sure that his phone's ringer is on at all times. By the time you call him for something he'll be up to your room before the ringtone even ends

Harry

Harry is most definitely clueless and will feel like he's going to cry right alongside you. Harry is not good at handling his own emotions let alone yours

He adored being around your bright and shining face everyday, it was something that could regulate his own and he clung to you like a moth to a lamp. So, you can only image the confusion and terror Harry experiences when he comes home to you the complete opposite

It's a very frantic sort of comfort that he gives you, moving from one thing to another to try to figure out what's wrong and what do to. It's really almost as if Harry feels your emotions stronger than you do, but he wants to do everything in his power to fix you

He comes home extra aware in the future, always prepared to be there by your side in hopes to deal with your feelings better, but he still doesn't like it at all. He goes out of his way to do more things around the house of for you in general to lessen up any stress, even if there was none in the first place

[spaceskam]

3x09 Coda

"I sort of hate your house."

"Well, thank you so much, Guerin. I didn't exactly major in decor, but I didn't think it was that much of an eye sore."

Michael rolled his eyes, running his thumb down the length of Alex's index finger. Soft, champagne colored sheets draped over them like some sort of renaissance painting, their legs tangled beneath them in a way that felt too good to be true. This whole thing was too good to be true.

Minus the bullshit with his dad being Max's clone and said clone-dad trying to maximize chaos in all aspects, obviously.

"I don't mean it looks bad–though it sure as hell doesn't look like you live here–but," Michael paused, his eyes drifting to their hands. He ran his thumb over the back of his hand before grasping it and pulling it up to place a kiss in the center of his palm. "Two separate times I've come here to find you MIA. Twice."

Alex's eyes flickered around, his light expression changing into something a little darker. Michael pressed a few sloppy kisses to his palm in an attempt to lessen that. Alex breathed a laugh from his nose.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. I'm just saying that I don't have the best memories of this place," Michael admitted. Alex hummed, scooting closer. They were almost nose to nose. On purpose. Without arguing.

"I have to stay here another year to make it financially worth it, but after that we can go wherever you want," Alex said. Michael's stomach clenched with anticipation. "This isn't the only Deep Sky base in the world. This isn't the only place to do research."

"You wanna travel the world with me doing research?" Michael asked. Alex grinned and rolled his eyes.

"That is literally all I want."

Michael leaned forward to kiss his lips, the action welcome and even wanted.

"What about the Lockhart machine?" Michael asked against his lips, moving to his jaw and then his neck. Because he could. Because they were in bed together–a big one with 6 pillows and they could fit without being pressed together and Alex still wanted to be pressed together anyway.

"Yeah, we're obviously working on that first. That and Jones. Which I think it'll help with the Jones situation once we get it to work like it's supposed to," Alex said, tilting his head back, "You know, minus the hallucination-inducing part."

Michael paused for a moment and raised his head to meet his eyes.

"What'd you hallucinate by the way? I didn't wanna pry in the moment because it obviously put you in a shitty mindset, but... What was it?" Michael asked. Alex sighed and avoided eye contact, shifting to try to sit up. Michael regretted it almost instantly. "Wait, sorry. You don't have to tell me. Just–is it something I need to worry about?"

Alex licked his lips, hesitating before he sat up anyway. Michael followed him and tried not to get too panicked that he was ruining shit already. Old habits die hard, after all.

"it was your mom," Alex said softly, like he was sparing Michael's feelings as if he was the one who literally got talked to the ledge by alien-induced hallucinations.

"My mom," Michael repeated. Alex nodded. "So. My mom talked you to a ledge."

"No, I knew it was a hallucination," Alex said, reaching for his hand, "I knew it was just my thoughts, my doubts and fears and everything personified. I can't say why it was her for sure, either because I was thinking about her because it's her machine or to make it hurt more. I don't want to be the guy to fuck up the image you have of your mom in your head. It was just my brain fucking me over."

"You don't have to explain yourself, I know you didn't have control over it," Michael said, though he was admittedly a little put off by the entire thing. Not for any other reason than knowing Alex will always think of that when he sees pictures of her face or hears her name.

Maybe it's a good thing he doesn't have any to hang up.

"But you're upset."

"Not with you," Michael insisted, grabbing his hand again, "Upset that you had to go through that."

"I did it to myself," Alex said. Michael rolled his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him, to make sure he knew this didn't change anything. Even if it did add an extra layer of fucked between them.

"Just, you're okay, aren't you? Up here?" Michael asked, reaching up to tap the side of Alex's head as he tested their foreheads together. He wanted to just grab him and pull him to lay down again but he was decided that was Alex's call. He didn't want to push.

"Yeah," Alex breathed, "Well, I mean, no, but nothing out of the ordinary."

Michael snorted a laugh, "Can't judge that, can I?"

"No, you can't," Alex said, amusement leaking back into his tone as his hand slid up Michael's arm and to his neck. Michael smiled effortlessly at the contact.

He couldn't get enough of how unabashedly tactile Alex was this time around. It was a dream come true.

"Just, you know, tell me if it ever gets too much again," Michael said, "What the point of having an all powerful alien if you don't let me help?"

"Oh, you're all powerful now?" Alex asked, his hand moving to Michael's chest and slowly pushing him back down into the mattress. His head hit the pillows that smelled like Alex, a smirk finding his face as Alex slowly lowered towards him.

"Oh yeah, didn't you hear?" Michael said, somehow not vibrating off the bed in excitement as Alex's body heat engulfed him, "Got an alien upgrade."

"Like what?" Alex breathed, ducking to press hot, open mouthed kisses to his collar bone.

Michael was euphoric.

"I, uh, found out I was basically born to be an arsonist, so that's something."

Alex laughed, resting his head against Michael's chest, all bare and beautiful and warm. And Michael really felt the difference between the bliss now and the bliss from all of the times before. The looming dread of an end was gone.

For the first time, when it came to Alex, he was weightless.

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Seven)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 10.1k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mention of erection, heated make out, marking, grinding, mentions of suicide:( (If this makes you uncomfortable pls skip), mentions of cheating, quick blowjob, swallowing,

Notes: sorry this chapter is shorter than the last! But we only have 2 chapters left guys! And they are long!!! Sorry in advance lol. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) Anyway feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:)

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook runs his finger through your hair, his mouth hot on your neck as he leaves behind what feels like a million, slow kisses. You taste sweet and he’s reminded of the first time he got to do this with you and his heart swells at the memory. He feels you grind against him, making him impossibly harder as he grinds back. Your moans fill his ears and it sounds like a chorus of sweet, sweet music to him, he can’t help but grin into his kisses. Suddenly, the image of him kissing down your throat becomes blurry and the sound of your whines echo in the distance. He must be waking up.

Jungkook feels you hovering over him with shocked eyes and he can’t help but wonder what’s gotten into you. He can feel his head beginning to throb from the inevitable hang over that wishes to visit and he raises a hand over it. You continue to look down at him and that’s when he notices it. Them. The hickeys that spread across your skin and he goes absolutely pale.

He looks back at you with wide eyes but he can’t help but feel pride bloom all throughout his body as he looks at how he has marked you but those petals quickly shrivel up when he realizes how badly he must have messed up.

“Oh fuck.” He says under his breath.

“Yeah. ‘Oh fuck’” you repeat back.

Jungkook lifts himself up, leaning on his arms as he takes another look at the bruises that cover your skin. He releases a shaky breath contemplating what to say.

“Drunk.” His eyes slide to the side, “We were really…drunk.”

You narrow your eyes for a split second then look at him with ease,

“Yeah…right…drunk.” You quickly agree.

Jungkook and you share a moment of a silence, admiring one another’s work on the other. You hesitantly reach out, your fingers coming in contact with the side of his neck, brushing against his soft skin.

“This ones huge…I’m sorry.” You say, not sounding entirely sorry. A slight smirk graces your features.

“Ha, you don’t look very sorry.” Jungkook grabs a hold of your hand, “Plus, you don’t even want to see what I did to you.”

You retreat your hand back to touch your own skin, you shuffle out of the sheets and stand from the bed. You walk towards the little mirror over by Jungkook’s closet and take a look.

You audibly gasp, the purple marks that spread across your neck and collarbone are ones for the books.

“What the hell Jeon! How am I supposed to walk out of here today! Everyone’s going to see this!” you gesture towards yourself. “Oh my god.” You turn back to look in the mirror. “This is horrible.”

Jungkook leaves the bed to join you at the mirror,

“Holy shit.” He looks at himself, “I’m not any better!” he throws his hands up but he’s laughing. He’s fucking laughing! You watch in disbelief as he chuckles the fucking day away.

You watch him and you can’t help but start to laugh too. This is just so ridiculous.

“Wait wait…” Jungkook calms down, suddenly becoming serious. “We didn’t do anything else…right?”

“Why are you looking at me like that? Shouldn’t you also remember?”

“You’re the girl! Can’t you like tell…if we…” He motions his hands between your bodies.

“Oh my god. No, we didn’t do anything else. Do you really not remember everything?” you ask with a frown.

“I feel like I do…but I was just being you know, sure.”

Jungkook wishes he could remember everything in great detail but the reality is he was really drunk and some moments are hazier than others. Which is a fucking shame because he wants to remember the first moment you caressed his skin to his lips on yours.

“Do you remember everything?”

“I remember enough.” You admit.

You were drunk, yes. But the memory of you and Jungkook is almost crystal clear and fresh in your mind.

“Bottom line is…we were really drunk and drunk people do stuff like that all the time.” Your hands go to your hips, “I mean, I’ve literally made out with Trina before. Don’t feel special.” You wink, your tone is light and teasing and Jungkook finds you amusing.

“Just two drunk idiots.” Jungkook grins. “So no acting weird.”

“I won’t be weird, will you?”

“I’ll try my best.” He chuckles.

“I’m serious Jungkook, we can be cool about this…” you give him a smile, “It’s not like we haven’t—”

“Stop…” Jungkook lifts his hand up, “I get it.” He chuckles awkwardly.

Your small smile fades, your heart pinches. He never wants to talk about it, did he hate it that much?

“Right…” You begin walking closer towards him and he steps back, your heart pinching once again. “Well, lend me a fucking turtle neck or something so I can get outta here.”

Jungkook smirks down at you as he walks to his closet.

“Fine. Hopefully I have two…I have a black and a white one right?” he asks you from inside his closet.

“Shit, I think I have your white one at my place…”

“I don’t think Nick owns any…”

“Why do you need one? Just stay home today.”

“I’m supposed to meet Vanessa later…”

Your heart doesn’t just pinch this time, it sinks. Deep down into your lower belly until its falling to the ground.

“Oh.”

“I’ll find a scarf or some shit.”

“I’ll bring you your white one, don’t worry.”

“Really? Thanks y/n.” Jungkook walks out of his closet smiling at you, his black turtle neck draped over his arm. “Here.” He hands it over to you.

“Turn around.”

Jungkook raises a brow at you until realization hits him.

“Okay.” He whispers out.

You quickly change into the long sleeve shirt and let Jungkook know he can turn back around.

“I feel like I should make you breakfast or something…” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, standing here awkwardly.

“Really Jungkook?” you laugh out, “And what would you make me?”

“I think Nick has some toaster waffles.” Jungkook offers with a grin.

“I’m good. I’m gonna head out but I will be back with your shirt!”

“Sounds good, I’ll walk you out.”

You two nod at one another, exiting the bedroom and walking towards the front door. You stop to say goodbye and Jungkook steps into your space, wrapping his arms around you.

“See you in a bit.” He whispers.

“Yeah.” You pull back and smile at him. “See you in a bit.”

~~~~~

“Why the fuck are you wearing a black turtle neck in the middle of August?”

It’s Trina, if you haven’t guessed. It’s the first thing you hear when you step into your apartment, she is over to hang with Holly you’re assuming.

“I was a bit chilly.” You lie through your teeth, giving her a strained smile.

“Take it off.” Trina commands.

“Trina…” Holly warns softly, she’s got her hand on Trina’s shoulder and you can’t help but giggle.

“Wait, your date was last night, right? With this ‘Min Yoongi’? Ooooh, did things go well?” Trina whistles out.

“It wasn’t a date, I already told you…” you whine as you walk into the living room, sitting on the sofa.

“But it did go well! I had a really nice time.” You admit softly, smiling at the memory of your ‘thank you outing’. “He’s so cool and so sweet.” Your eyes light up, “He owns the record shop a few shops away from the bakery!”

“Owns it? Like it’s his?” Holly asks, she shares a pleased smile with Trina.

“Yes, like it’s his.”

“He sounds like a man. Marry him.” Trina gives you an aggresive thumbs up.

“Chill dude.” You laugh. “I think he and I could become really good friends…and…”

“And?”

“Well, you never know.” Your eyes shift to the side as you smirk. “The world is full of mystery.��

Trina smiles brightly, “So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

“I’m saying that there’s not not a chance…”

“I’LL TAKE IT!” Trina lifts up Holly’s hand and high fives herself with it. “Whatever isn’t Jungkook.” She finishes with a grin and you feel your whole body go stiff.

“Trina…” you frown, “I really don’t like when you say stuff like that. Jungkook is a good person. He just…he messed up, yes. But he’s trying.”

“He hurt you.” Trina’s tone goes serious. “How could you forgive him for that?”

“I’m trying too. But I am able to try because I know him…he wouldn’t just hurt me without him having his own reasons…and I love him, T. Like as friends, of course but also…”

“I know.” Trina goes soft, “I know.”

Holly clasps her hands together, “And that’s that! How about we make some food and chit chat some more over some mimosas!”

“I love that idea.” You say.

“But seriously girl, please go change out of that turtle neck…you’re making me sweat just looking at you.” Trina says.

Right, the turtle neck. You told Jungkook you would drop off his white one…well, you gotta find it first.

“Okay, but I have to run an errand first then we can hang.”

“An errand?” Both girls look at you quizzically.

“Don’t worry about it.” Great, now you sound like Jungkook.

~~~~~

Within the hour you are quickly dropping off Jungkook’s shirt off at his place and going back to yours. He answered the door in nothing but his towel again and you tried so hard not to drool. You recall the night before when your fingers were dragging down his chest and his toned stomach. You felt every ab beneath your fingertips. Fuck, that felt good. You’re home now, you shake your head trying to rid yourself of thoughts of Jungkook’s body. But with a body like that? It’s so so hard. Just like how he was…STOP. You shake off these thoughts and try to pay attention to what Holly is saying.

“—And then I turned it in anyway and still got an A!”

“That’s amazing Holly.” You say, trying to act like you weren’t just having impure thoughts.

“Yeah, you totally kick ass.” Trina says.

You girls are a few mimosas in, you feel the champagne starting to work its wonderful magic on you but unfortunately it is making you start to sweat. You want to take off this damn turtleneck.

“I’ll be right back.” You say quickly before retreating to your bedroom. You find a baggy t-shirt and slip it on. This feels much better! But god damn. These marks on your skin are something else. You rush to the bathroom and try to cover some with makeup but it’s hardly helping. Fuck.

“Welp, maybe they won’t notice.” You whisper to yourself.

You walk back out into the living room and you notice both Holly and Trina’s eyes go comically wide.

“Wow, that date did go better than you thought!” Trina starts whooping and hollering.

“Wow y/n.” Holly really does look shocked.

Okay, so maybe they did notice. You feel so self conscious all of the sudden, your hands flying up to your neck to cover yourself.

“It’s—It’s not what it looks like.” You stammer out.

“It looks like this Yoongi guy is really into marking!” Trina yells out with a grin.

“Yoongi is really into marking…” Holly eyes you with horror in her eyes.

“Yoongi! Yoongi! Yoongi!” Trina begins chanting, she looks over at Holly and lightly taps her thigh to get her to start chanting the name as well.

“Guys…” You whine into your hands, “It wasn’t Yoongi.” You must be admitting that because you’ve had a few mimosas.

Silence. The room falls undeniably quiet.

“Wait what?” Trina asks, her wide grin beginning to fade.

“Did you meet with someone else last night?” Holly begins to pry.

“Did you go to a bar or something and meet a rando?”

“Did you bump into someone on the street?”

“Did you call up and old boyfriend? An old hookup?”

“Guys!” You yell out, “I met up with Jungkook last night!”

Once again, the room goes silent.

“You what?” Trina asks plainly, “What does that have to do with the hickeys on your neck?”

“Really Trina?” your head falls into your hands, “We kind of…”

“You guys fucked? Really?” Trina’s serious tone is back.

“No! We just got really drunk and made out! That’s it!”

“But is that really it for you?” To your surprise, it’s Holly who asks this.

“It’s fine. We were just drunk. We decided not to be weird about it. And we won’t.”

“How can you be sure of that?” Trina asks, her voice gone soft.

“Because I will text him in a few days, he’s going to text back. Or I’ll call and he will answer like normal. I’ll ask to hang out or something and we will just be two friends who hang. It will go just like that!”

Except it doesn’t go like that at all. A few days pass and you decided to text Jungkook in the morning after you woke up. You don’t expect to hear back from him for a couple of hours since he will probably sleep in. But hours and hours go by and it’s the afternoon now and you still haven’t heard from him.

“You have reached the voicemail box of…” You click the end button on your phone again for like, the 6thtime. Why isn’t Jungkook answering? It’s a Wednesday afternoon, you know you remember him saying he had today off for some reason so what is he up to? Even if he was with Vanessa, would he really ignore you like this? 6 calls in a row?

You decide to try Jimin, maybe they’re together. You look him up in your ‘Favorites’ and click clack away to calling him. After several rings the boy finally answers,

“Hey.” He says somewhat out of breath, “I’m working, what’s up?”

“Hey it’s nothing really…” you begin, “But have you heard from Jungkook…? I can’t get a hold of him…”

“Huh? No? Maybe he’s just, I don’t know, busy babe.” You can hear Jimin directing some poor child of his wrong moves on the other side of the phone.

“Look, I gotta go. But just try again in a little while, okay?”

“Can you try calling him for me?”

“Huh? Uh, sure. I’ll let you know later. Love you, bye.” Jimin hangs up and you’re left with your phone to your ear, talking to no one.

It’s Wednesday evening now, you and Holly are sharing a pie while watching some weird show on Netflix that Holly insists is good. You’re three episodes in and you’re starting to wonder when the ‘good’ part happens. It’s mostly just been weird but Holly seems invested in it. You’re trying to keep your mind busy, the thought of Jungkook making you feel antsy. You just wanted to call and see if he wanted to chill together…to prove things aren’t going to be weird between you two. Is he really going to be so fucking immature? Big deal, you made out. But to go this far to ignore you? You can’t help but feel so fucking anxious. He won’t ghost you again right?

You mindlessly stick your fork in the pie repeatedly when you feel your phone buzz. Thank God, some sort of reason to look away from this show, you think.

Jimin 6:22pm

Hey, I got a hold of Jungkook…

What the hell? So he answered to Jimin?!

Jimin 6:22pm

It’s probably best to let him be today babe, today is…not a good day

You click off your phone and throw it on the cushion to your side because what the hell does that mean? Not a good day? If he’s not having a good day then shouldn’t he like, lean on you? Wait, you’re asking for too much right? You mean, you’re the one who set boundaries. But if he’s having a bad day why ignore you? You throw the fork in the pie and set it next to Holly, she looks at you mortified that you would just throw your fucking fork. You stand to your feet and start heading to your room.

“Uh, where are you going? Things are just getting good.” Holly whines.

“I’ll be back in a little while Hol, just gotta do something real quick.” You call out from behind you, entering your room to change into some clean clothes.

Once you’re ready you grab your purse and your keys and head towards the front door, and out to your car.

It’s a really quick drive to Jungkook’s apartment, he lives so close to you it’s ridiculous. He couldn’t find an apartment that was further away from his old one? Well, still…you’re grateful it’s a short drive. You wonder how you’ll confront Jungkook. He isn’t the best at opening up so you have to go about this strategically. But knowing you, you’ll be anything but strategic. It’s just with Jungkook you really have to force it out of him—whatever it is. Even then you may get nothing.

You find a parking spot a little a ways from the building, it’s a nice refreshing two minute walk to get inside to find and ride the elevator. You remember riding this elevator with nick and oh god, cringe. You cringe so fucking hard. Speak of the devil, he’s who answers the front door after your insistent knocking.

“Oh hey y/n. What’s up?” Nick’s eyes dart from you to the rest of the hallway. “Is it just you?” he asks, “Jungkook isn’t here…”

“Can I wait inside until he gets home?” you blurt out.

“Uh, sure…” Nick opens the door wider for you to enter. You breeze past him, taking off your shoes at the entrance and make your way to the couch. Damn, you are a woman on a mission.

“Can I get you some water?” Nick offers as he closes the door.

“Sure.”

Nick comes into the living room with a glass full of water and you couldn’t be more grateful. You didn’t even realize how dry your mouth has gotten, the anticipation of Jungkook’s arrival making you nervous.

“Do you know where he went?” you take the glass from Nick and gulp down like half the glass. “He hasn’t answered me all day.”

“Wait, he doesn’t know you’re here?” Nick asks in panicked surprise. “Should you really be here? He might be with Vanessa or like, coming back with her…”

“It’s fine. I’m waiting, is that okay?” you nibble on your lips, waiting for his response.

“Yeah, I guess.” Nick shrugs, “I’ll be in my room if that’s okay? You can watch whatever on TV or like, whatever.” He smiles at you, gesturing towards the TV.

“I’ll be fine Nick.” You smile back.

More than an hour passes, a god damn miserable hour of you sitting on Jungkook and Nicks couch when you finally hear the front door being unlocked. Jungkook.

You straighten up when you hear the door beginning to open, the soft creak sounding a million times louder in your ears.

Jungkook walks through and you notice he is alone, and you sigh in relief. His shoulders are slumped and his head hangs low as he takes his shoes off and you immediately sink in your spot. What’s with him? So, you stand to your feet and clear your throat and he doesn’t even flinch. He just continues walking inside, finding his way into the kitchen. You watch as he opens up a cabinet and reaches for a glass, next he’s fishing the fridge for some fresh water and filling up his cup. He takes a few sips of his water before his dark eyes find you.

“What are you doing here?” his low voice sends a shiver down your spine.

“You went ghost on me today…I was worried.” You leave the living room to walk into the kitchen as well.

“I…” he begins as he sets the glass on the counter. “I didn’t ghost you.”

“How could I be so sure?” you step closer to him, “How come you answered Jimin but not me?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at your words, like a deer caught in headlights. He blinks at you repeatedly until he tries forming words.

“It’s nothing personal.” He settles for. “Can we talk tomorrow, y/n?”

“Where did you go today?” God, why do you sound like some weird, possessive girlfriend? You cringe at your own words.

“It doesn’t matter.” Jungkook’s eyes darken again, his voice low.

“It matters to me.”

Jungkook looks down at the floor and you notice him take a few deep breaths, like he is struggling to find a steady one.

“Talk to me, Jungkook.” You reach out to him, your fingers finding his and he flinches at your touch. “What’s wrong? Please talk to me.”

“I….” Jungkook’s voice cracks and you wish you could bring him in to hug you but you don’t. You just let him continue.

“I…have nothing to say.”

Oh. Of course. Of fucking course. Of course Jungkook chooses to stay silent. Of course he chooses not to talk to you.

“Is it Vanessa?” you finally find the courage to ask, “Did you two break—”

“No, we’re fine.” He cuts in. Jungkook frees himself from your hand and looks up at you with a strained smile, “I’m fine, y/n.”

Now, you shouldn’t feel upset. Or angry. But you do, you fucking do. It’s been almost 4 years of this same bullshit where he cannot open up to you and its starting to feel insulting.

“You’re…” you step closer to him again but he takes a step back until he’s backed into the counter. “You aren’t fine. Please talk to me, Jungkook.” You try to say calmly but you think the rage is a little evident in your voice.

“Nothing to talk about.”

“Is it because I’m a girl?”

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, not knowing what you mean by that. Yeah, that was a stupid thing to assume but you aren’t smart right now.

“You can’t confide in girls because you have trust issues? You know, because of your mom…how she left you…”

“Stop.”

“That’s it right?” You volume increases as your anger shows, “Are you fucking serious? When have I ever made you feel like you couldn’t trust me? When have I ever fucking left you?”

“Shut up.”

“No! And yeah your mom left you so you like, don’t trust girls I guess but god damn, Jungkook maybe it’s time to get over—”

“I said shut up!” Jungkook’s voice rises to a volume you have never experienced with him before.

“Have you tried looking for her?” you continue to speak, not realizing you are making everything worse.

“I know where she is.” He states, his nostrils flaring.

You flail your arms around, “Then go fucking talk to her.”

Jungkook looks at you with an unreadable expression, his shoulders to his ears and his fists balled up at his sides. He’s quiet. Too quiet. His breaths are beyond shaky and you finally notice it.

Jungkook’s eyes are glossed over and you think you may have gone too far. His lip begins trembling and he tries to speak but no words come out. He struggles to speak to you and it makes you blink at him like an idiot. Why can’t he speak?

“Jung—”

Jungkook lifts a hand up to stop you from talking any further. He inhales sharp breaths and releases shaky ones. His eyes are full of tears but none fall. He stares down at the ground just trying to do something as easy as breathing, but he falls short.

“Jung—”

“Please.” He croaks out. Jungkook walks to the couch and sits down, his head falling into his hands and you aren’t entirely sure at first but after a few moments you really realize…he is softly and quietly crying. Your Jungkook who never cries in front of anyone is sitting on his living room couch crying. You’re speechless. You also don’t know what to do. Do you try to comfort him? Do you leave him alone? But how could you leave him alone when he sits on his fucking living room couch sniffling away?

You hesitantly walk towards the sofa and take a seat next to him. He doesn’t lift his head to look at you, just continues crying into his hands. You don’t have to think about it, you reach your hand to rub soothing circles on his back and start whispering words of comfort in his ear.

Several moments pass when Jungkook finally lifts his head from his hands, but he still doesn’t look at you.

“Mom…” he clears his throat. “Mom didn’t just leave us. She left everything. She left me.”

“I know Jungkook…I’m sorry… I just lashed out on you, you can heal at your own pace and if she wants to see you again, she will.” You continue to rub his back.

“No, you don’t get it.” Jungkook murmurs. “Mom was hurting a lot. You know?” he begins to get choked up, his throat burning.

“Dad cheated, yes. But he was also neglectful of her and she was in a lot of pain,” he sniffs repeatedly, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“She felt like she had no one, not even me.” Jungkook face scrunches up as he resists more tears.

“She couldn’t even rely on me.”

Fuck. You know where this is going. It is all starting to make sense.

“Mom killed herself when I was 16.” Jungkook finally says, his voice barely above a whisper, like he was too afraid to say it out loud. Like it made it more real.

“Dad didn’t take it well…he started drinking and I rarely saw him around…I had to take care of myself.” Jungkook finally lets the tears fall.

“I hated him. I still do.” Jungkook clenches his jaw.

You sit on the couch unable to comprehend what Jungkook has gone through. You feel like the biggest bitch alive. You forced your best friend to reopen his wounds in front of you and you had the audacity to pour salt in them.

“Jungkook I’m so—”

“Forget it.” He’s quick to cut you off. You stare at him with wide eyes, your own tears staining your cheeks.

“Please leave me alone for a while.” He whispers and immediately you stop him from rising from the couch.

“No!” you pull him back down. He doesn’t even resist, he falls back to your side and you lead his head to rest on your beating chest.

“I’m here for you, Jungkook.”

And that’s it. That’s what it took for Jungkook to scrunch and twist his face until more tears begin flowing out of his swollen eyes. He cries into your shirt, wetting the material.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You pat his head, your fingers weaving through his dark locks.

Jungkook cries like this for several minutes, until he’s wiping away his tears and snot with his shirt sleeve. He rises from your chest and looks at you with a painful expression.

“Today is mom’s birthday.” He admits.

Fuck.

“I went to her grave today…” he sniffles, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before. It’s just…” he starts crying again, “Saying it out loud. Makes it real, don’t you think?” His face is swollen and puffy from his tears and you can’t stop your own tears from sliding down your cheeks.

“Jungkook, I’m so, so sorry.” You feel awful. You can’t even fathom what he has gone through…

“It’s okay, this was bound to happen eventually right?” he laughs awkwardly, snot still dripping from his nose.

“I shouldn’t have forced it out of you…God, I am so sorry.”

“I…” Jungkook’s eyes refill with tears as he tries to speak again, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I really am. I tried so many times but I just couldn’t say it out loud. I just couldn’t.” The tears fall down his face once again, “I tried.” He begins to cry harder. “I really tried y/n.”

You heart breaks. This is a sight you never want to see again but if anyone has to see it you want it to be you.

“Baby…” you whisper. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“You’d never leave me…right?” Jungkook chokes on his words as he speaks. “I couldn’t handle it.”

You shut your eyes as you think about what Jungkook has gone through. You think about why he’s been so closed off and why he has troubles with people sometimes—especially girls.

“I wouldn’t ever leave you.” You say in promise. “You’re too important to me.”

Jungkook’s face falls back into your chest, he cries into your shirt for several more minutes as you rub his back and play with his hair.

“Wasn’t I important to mom too?” You hear him whisper.

Your heart breaks even more.

“Of course you were, Jungkook.” You try to save, “I know she must have loved you a lot.”

“Then why?”

“She must of thought you were going to be strong enough without her…” Your fingers thread through his hair again, “And you are. But you know, you aren’t completely without her…” Your hand goes to his chest, over his beating heart.

“She’s here too, with you.”

And with that, Jungkook sobs harder. Like, it’s the first time he’s cried over this. And you wonder if it is. He’s gripping on to your shirt so tightly as he releases intense sob after the other. Your heart continues to fucking break.

“I’m here. I’m here.”

It’s been quiet the last 30 minutes, neither you nor Jungkook have spoken. He’s not even crying anymore, just lightly sniffling every now and then. You wonder if he has fallen asleep. You wouldn’t be surprised, all that crying will take out all the energy out of a person…

You lean your head down to get a look at Jungkook’s peaceful face…he is sleeping. You feel yourself relax as you continue to play with his hair. He needs the rest, you think.

You feel your own eye lids getting heavy and you let yourself fall asleep as well. Jungkook snuggles deeper into your side, his face nuzzling in your chest and you hold him tighter. You two sleep like this for many hours until you’re being woken up at the sound of the blender going.

The living room is lit up with sunlight and your eyes blink lazily. You realize Jungkook isn’t sleeping with you anymore and you start to panic. Where did he go? Then the blender goes off again and you decide to stand from the couch, even though your body feels so heavy.

Jungkook is in the kitchen when you walk over, he’s got his back turned to you and you creep up behind him.

“Boo.” You say, wrapping your arms around him.

“When will you realize that will never work on me?” Jungkook lightly chuckles, “Sorry to wake you up. I figure I could make us some fruit smoothies.” He turns around in your hold. You eye him up and notice how puffy his eyes are and you feel your heart drop.

“Fruit smoothie sounds delicious.” You squeeze him tighter and Jungkook laughs a wonderful laugh. It’s loud and full and filled with joy.

“Hug me back.”

Jungkook smiles down at you and circles his arms around your waist, “Sorry, sorry.”

You smile back up at him and lean your head on his body, he feels so warm it could melt you.

“About last night…” Jungkook begins pulling away from you, “I’m sorry I kind of…”

“You don’t have to apologize.” You cut in. “It’s my fault.”

“No y/n…I’m glad things happened the way they did. I actually feel so much better.” He admits, “Lighter, even.”

“Oh? Well, good. But I am still so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay baby.” He goes back in to hug you tighter. You feel his strong arms hold on to you and you want to stay like this forever. You would if you could. But—

“Shit. What time is it?” You step back from him, digging in your pocket for your phone. “Holy hell, I’m going to be late for work.”

“Then get going. I’ll text you later?” Jungkook asks with hope filling his eyes.

“Yeah.” You smile.

~~~~~~

Work was lame as usual, nothing eventful happened. Yoongi must have been too busy at the shop today since he didn’t come in for cookies. You decide you will go see him at the record shop tomorrow but for now…you’re dealing with something else—someone else.

“Oh? You thought Trina wouldn’t tell me?” It’s Jimin. He’s sitting on the edge of your bed with a popsicle between his lips. “Huh Miss Hickeys?”

“Jimin.” You drag his name out, “It’s not a big deal!” you throw your hands up in exasperation. “We were just really drunk and it didn’t mean anything. Just two drunk idiots.”

“Idiots, for sure.” Jimin sucks on the tip of the popsicle while he speaks.

“Seriously, it isn’t a big deal. We’re both over it.”

“Are you? You like him and he…fuck, this is getting so ridiculous. Promise me, just promise me…you will tell him the truth? You might be sur—”

“Jimin, stop.”

Jimin huffs out a deep, long breath and rolls his eyes at you.

“No.” he says matter of fact. “I won’t stop until you two talk.”

“Anyway there’s something more important we need to talk about…” you begin, “He told me about his mom.”

Jimin’s expression goes from shocked to guilty. He takes a few moments to finish the popsicle, biting the last inch or two and throwing the stick in the trashcan.

“I know. He told me.”

“Oh.”

“He’s been wanting to tell you for a long time y/n…but he just—”

“I know. It must have been really hard for him…all this time…”

“Yeah.” Jimin bows his head, “Me and Tae are the only ones who know because we were friends with him when it happened. That’s the only reason why or else I’m not sure anyone would know.”

“Is that…is that Jungkook’s secret? That you three…”

Jimin’s eyes expand as he realizes what you are talking about.

“N-No.” He admits softly, “That’s something else. That’s something Jungkook will definitely have to tell you on his own and trust me if you guys just talked…”

You tilt your head in confusion. What’s the correlation?

“Anyway, Jimin has Jungkook ever cried to you? About it all?” you ask, curiosity getting the best of you.

“He didn’t even cry at the funeral y/n.”

Fuck. You had a feeling. But knowing for sure is a whole other thing. The way Jungkook broke down in front of you felt like it was his first time and maybe it was and that makes your heart ache.

“Did he…cry? In front of you?” Jimin asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah…”

“Oh… he must really trust you.”

You only nod your head in response.

“If you guys just learned to communicate better…I’m really rooting for you two.”

Your heart swells at Jimin’s little confession and you nod your head again, this time with tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

“Thanks Jimin.” Finally, you feel supported. And it makes you breathe just a little easier.

“I know things haven’t always been easy with you two ever since the Tae thing…but honestly this goes back even further. Doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. We…I don’t know what’s with us.” You chuckle bitterly.

“I do. And I am going to force you two to talk one of these days. I swear on it. I will give you guys some time but damn babe, this is just…” Jimin releases a long breath. “Just don’t give up, okay?”

“Can’t you just tell me?” you don’t mean to sound like you are begging but you kind of do.

“No. It’s truly truly not my place.”

“I can’t just assume what you are talking about, you know? I can’t hope for the best then get crushed. That’s too scary, Jimin.”

“I understand babe.” Jimin scoots closer to you until he’s within arms-reach and caresses your calve. “Just talk to him, please.”

“Too scary.”

“One of these days one of you will have the courage.”

~~~~~~

“And what could be in this little baggy of yours?” Yoongi grins, showing his wonderful gummy smile.

“I brought you 2 cookies Mister Oatmeal Raisin!” You shake the little bag in front of his face in a teasing manner and he chuckles.

“What did I do to deserve your kindness?” He takes the baggy from you and inspects both cookies. “You decided not to be bratty today?” he questions with a smile. “These cookies are perfect.”

You decided to visit the record shop today, on this fine afternoon. It’s one of those days where it’s cloudy and looks like it could rain but it never does. You love days like that.

“This place looks so nice!” you say, bobbing your head around to get a proper look.

“There’s a section where you can sit and drink coffee…it’s not much but its cozy. Wanna check it out?” Yoongi offers, gesturing towards the other side of the shop.

“Yeah.” You say, “Lead the way.”

He guides you to the other side of the shop next to a window. There’s a table for two and he’s right—it is cozy looking.

You sit down and wait for Yoongi as he fetches two coffees, which you are so excited about since you have a fucking addiction.

He sets a cup down in front of you and takes his seat.

“So any new happy moments in life? Anything new to be grateful for?”

“I—”

“That’s a trick question,” Yoongi’s eyes go small as he smiles widely, “There’s always new moments to be grateful for.”

You can’t help but laugh, you bring the steaming hot coffee to your mouth and you blow on the liquid multiple times before bringing it to your lips and taking a sip.

“Yes I guess so.” You smile.

“And what are they?”

“I’m grateful the sun is hiding today, I like the clouds a lot.”

“I love that.” Yoongi takes a sip of his own coffee. “What else?”

“I’m happy you brought me coffee.”

“I’m glad I somehow made it on your list of things.”

“What about you?” you ask.

“I’m grateful my A.C is working again!” he laughs, “It was actually broken for a couple days and I had like 5 fans plugged in around the place. I don’t think anyone wanted to come in here.”

“Oh no! Well, I’m glad it’s working!”

“How are things with your friend Jungkook? You guys were complicated last time I checked.”

You raise your brows in surprise that Yoongi would bring up Jungkook. But somehow you also aren’t surprised, it seems Yoongi takes a genuine interest in your life.

“We’re actually doing okay…” You bring the coffee back to your lips, taking another sip when—

“Have you told him your feelings yet?” Yoongi casually takes a gulp of coffee as you choke on yours.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry…was that too forward?” Yoongi sets his cup down. “To be fair, you both are very obvious.

“What do you means us ‘both’?” You grab a napkin and wipe your chin where coffee dribbled.

“He clearly likes you too.” Yoongi stares at you as you stare back with a blank expression, and he laughs. “You two remind me of myself and someone I used to know.”

“Used to?”

“We were never on the same page…too many missed opportunities that it ruined anything we could have had.” Yoongi frowns for a split second before breaking out into a soft, gummy smile. “I’d hate to see that happen to you.”

“Yoongi—”

“But if it does then better for me?” he whispers with a smile in his voice.

“What do you mean by—”

“Oh. But he has a girlfriend, right?” Yoongi cuts you off with his question.

“Not exactly but basically…”

Vanessa. Your stomach drops at the mention of her and you hate it. Why does she have to have such a strong affect on you? Why does she even have to exist? You mean, she can exist but maybe not in your life—or Jungkook’s life.

Suddenly, the doors bell goes off with a ding and Yoongi is smiling brightly at whoever just walked in. You continue to sip your coffee not giving it much mind.

“Taehyung!” Yoongi shouts out, standing from his chair to wave over his friend.

Wait, Taehyung? He can’t mean the same Taehyung—

“y/n?”

Oh shit. You turn around in your seat and your face falls when you see him. Even on this cloudy day his skin is so golden like the sun is shining down on him, he looks bright and beautiful. As usual.

“Hi Taehyung.” You wave awkwardly. He can immediately tell how uncomfortable you are, his face deepening into a frown.

“I can come by later…” he offers to you.

“No, no. Don’t be ridiculous.” You try smiling but it’s quite tense.

Yoongi looks between you two and he points between your bodies.

“You two know each other?”

“We went to school together, had mutual friends blah blah blah.” You say.

Taehyung only agrees with the nod of his head. Yoongi blinks at your two and opens his mouth to say ‘Ah.’ And heads to the back for another cup of coffee.

“How have you been y/n?” Taehyung asks awkwardly, he shifts from one foot to the other as he stands here.

“Pretty good, I think.”

“You think?” he chuckles. “Hey, sorry if my texts bother you…”

“They don’t.” you say honestly. “Sorry I don’t always reply.”

“It’s okay, I understand. How’s…Jungkook?” Taehyung eyes shoot down to the floor. “He doesn’t answer my texts either. It really hurts to see years of friendship go down the drain…”

“He’s mad at you Tae,” You begin, “But I think one of these days he will chill out.” You laugh and this makes Taehyung ease up.

“He really fucking loves you.”

“Well we are best friends… sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“We kind of stopped talking for a little while but we’re back to being friends.” You try explaining but Yoongi is walking back in with a cup of coffee in hand. He hands it to Taehyung, which he accepts gratefully.

“You’re here for that new Jazz mix record, right? I have it behind the counter for you.” Yoongi says to Taehyung and Taehyung only gives him a thumbs up. He eyes you curiously, wondering what the hell happened between you and Jungkook.

“I have to get back to work boys!” You stand from the table, “Thanks for the coffee Yoongs”

Yoongi smiles at the new nickname.

“And maybe I’ll see you around, Tae?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung gives you his signature boxy grins and you feel like maybe things all around are getting better. Just maybe.

~~~~~

Jungkook has his hands knotted in Vanessa’s hair as she chokes on his cock, her lips wrapped around it fully.

“Fuck.” Jungkook whines out, “I’m so close.”

Vanessa only moans in response, she continues to bob her head up and down on his dick making his orgasm approach quickly.

“Gonna come, gonna come.”

And he does, he comes down her throat and she swallows it all perfectly. Only a drop or two left behind on her lips which she quickly wipes away with her fingers.

Vanessa stands to her feet and Jungkook pulls her in for a quick kiss.

“That was good…” he says, somewhat out of breath.

“Glad.” She says smoothly, going in for another kiss. This time she lingers, her lips lasting for a moment longer on his.

Vanessa’s fingers brush against his neck, she traces the outline of one last bruise left on the side below his ear.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” she smiles coyly. “You two sure are weird.” She says flatly.

“Vanessa…”

“It’s fine. I know you know I still see him. It’s not like we agreed to be exclusive.” She taps her skinny fingers on his chest.

“But we are trying aren’t we? To make this work?”

“You aren’t trying very hard, are you?” the amusement in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook.

“He cheated on you, Vanessa. Why are you still seeing him? I thought you said he has a girlfriend now?”

Vanessa pauses her tapping on his chest, her eyes go wide for a second. Like, for a second she wasn’t void of emotion.

“He does.” She says smoothly before she begins tapping her fingers against his chest again.

“He cheated on me with this girl.” She admits, “Little does this bitch know—”

“Is that healthy? Getting revenge?” Jungkook asks, concern lacing his voice.

Vanessa continues to tap her fingers as she narrows her eyes at Jungkook.

“You want to talk to me about what’s healthy?” her empty laugh fills the room.

“I want you to stop.” Jungkook’s hands go to her hips, “Let’s be exclusive, Vanessa.”

“I can’t stop…” she whispers softly, “I can’t let go.”

Jungkook observes Vanessa for a few moments, she looks as vulnerable as she did the first time she talked about her ex with him. He feels sorry for her. He really does want her to move on, for her own sake.

“You can move forward, Vanessa. You have me.”

Vanessa looks into his eyes, studying his serious expression. She can tell he means well but…she doesn’t have him. She never will.

“Please Vanessa, we can make this work.” He begs, yes begs.

Vanessa tilts her head to the side. Oh? This must be his desperation talking, she thinks. His desperation to get over you. She knows this. And she doesn’t hold it against him and instead she decides to help him.

“Okay, let’s make this work.”

~~~~~~~

y/n 8:09pm

On a scale of 1-10 how bad do you wanna watch spirited away right now?

Jungkook 8:15pm

11 girl don’t play

y/n 8:16pm

I thought so, I think this means you need to come over and watch it w meeee

Jungkook 8:20pm

Lemme shower and I’ll be over:)

y/n 8:22pm

Bring beer pllllssss

Jungkook 8:42pm

On my way

y/n 8:45pm

Drive safe bb

It’s around 9pm exactly when you hear soft knocking on the front door. You scurry towards the door and open it, finding Jungkook on the other side. He is wearing your favorite gray puma sweat suit and his hair is wavy and damp. He smiles at you when he sees you eyeing him up and down.

“Like what you see?” he teases.

“Wow, what a classic line Jungkook. Real original.” You scoff, letting the boy through.

Jungkook walks in, setting down a case of beer on the breakfast table.

“I brought our favorite.” He gestures towards the beer on the table. “Let’s drink it while it’s nice and chilly.”

“Agreed. I already have the movie set up.” You point towards the T.V “Ready for our viewing pleasure.”

“Where’s Holly?” Jungkook takes two beers from the case, handing one over to you.

“Her and Trina went out to some bar, I didn’t feel like going.” You take the beer and twist off the cap, Jungkook does the same. You two clank the bottles together in cheers and take a few sips.

“Ah.” You say, the refreshing beer making you feel well, refreshed.

“Because you don’t feel like going to a bar? Or because you would rather hang out with me?” Jungkook smirks, taking another sip of his beer.

“Because I didn’t feel like getting pretty.” You bring the beer to your lips, but you don’t drink from the bottle, just waiting for a response instead.

“You’re always pretty.”

You take a sip of the beer, feeling satisfied with his response. “I know.” You half joke.

“Let’s go to a bar.” Jungkook blurts out.

“W-What?”

“Let’s go in our lounge clothes.” He smiles, “Let’s just do it.”

“No!” you laugh out, “We look like slobs. Well, I do. You look…” your hand motions towards his body, “You know, you look…”

“Are you trying to say I’m hot, y/n?” Jungkook’s sly smile grows as he drinks his beer.

“You know what I mean.” You huff out.

“Well, I think the same of you. So let’s go.”

You can’t help but laugh, you continue to drink your beer back, the liquid settling nicely.

“Okay. Fuck it, let’s do it.” You can’t help but grin, the idea of going to a bar in yoga pants and a t shirt with your sort of best friend sounds so great to you.

“But maybe a little makeup…” Jungkook starts chuckling as you hit his arm with your fist.

“Shut up.”

The bar is mostly pretty casual, maybe not as casual as you and Jungkook but still casual.

Only a small handful of people are actually dressed nicely, but mostly are in jeans and nice shirts. Somehow Jungkook is still the hottest guy here. Even in his sweat suit. You’re surprised you two even got let in, does this place not have some sort of dress code? Guess not.

It’s pretty loud inside, the place has a live band and a decent dance floor. You and Jungkook head towards the bar and take your seats.

The bartender takes a few minutes to reach you two and when she does she automatically nods at Jungkook for his order.

“Two long islands please.” He says, he smirks towards you and you smile back. Long islands? Oh you’re getting drunk drunk tonight.

“You got it.” She smiles at him with all her teeth, and turns around to start mixing the drinks.

“Long islands, huh?” you rest your head in your hand on the bar top.

“I figure neither of us are driving tonight, we might as well go hard.” Jungkook smiles at you. “I’ll buy this first round?”

“Sounds good to me.” You bump fists with Jungkook with a wide smile. “Wanna make a bet?”

“What’s that?” Jungkook quirks a brow at you.

“I bet you $5 that by the end of the night the bartender will hit on you.”

“But I also bet $5 that the bartender will hit on me.” Jungkook pouts.

You stare at him in disbelief at his cockiness and you burst out into giggles.

“Fair enough.” You say between laughs.

The bartender slides two drinks to you and Jungkook, she twists and twirls her hair in her fingers as she asks Jungkook how it tastes. He takes a sip and gives her a thumbs up, you can’t help but snicker.

“Can we also get two tequila shots?” you wave at the bartender. She turns to face you and frowns.

“Sure.” She puts on a fake smile and turns to fill up two shot glasses with tequila. She sets them in front of you a Jungkook and tells you the amount due.

“Tequila shots? Are we trying to fucking die tonight?” Jungkook chuckles from beside you. He grabs two limes and hands you one.

“To us.” You say, lifting your shot in the air.

“To you.” Jungkook whispers as you clank glasses and throw back the shots.

Holy shit, you are fucking wasted. After several tequila shots and a few long islands you and Jungkook are barely holding on. Okay, fine. It’s not that bad. But you guys are really drunk!

His hand hasn’t left your waist for hours, and it feels so fucking nice. It feels perfect. It feels right.

“y/n?” a voice calls out to you. You know this voice, really well in fact.

“Taehyung!” you cheer. You stumble forward and go in for a high five and his drunk ass high fives you back.

“Fancy seeing you again.” You giggle.

Jungkook’s hand grips your waist tighter as he narrows his eyes at Taehyung.

“What do you mean again?” Jungkook asks, his voice low.

“We ran into each other at my friend Yoongi’s” you slur out.

“Hi Jungkookie.” Taehyung awkwardly sways back and forth, his words also slurred. It’s obvious he’s on the same level as drunk as you.

“…Hey.” Jungkook hesitates to respond, he looks between you two. “y/n…is this okay? Talking to him?”

“Hm? Oh? Yeah.” You stare at Jungkook blankly. Why wouldn’t it be, you think.

“Jungkook, maybe we could talk just the two of us?”

You look between the boys and somehow you feel yourself sobering up just a bit.

“Uh. I’ll go to the bathroom.” You say, already walking away.

“You know how sorry I feel.” Taehyung begins, “About everything.”

“What’s everything?” Jungkook mumbles under his breath.

“I’m sorry for what I did to y/n. But I am also sorry for holding your secret over you like that to keep mine.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook slurs out, “That was fucked up.”

“I miss you guys…” Taehyung takes a sip of his drink, “Even Jimin barely talks to me.”

“Shouldn’t have messed with our girl.”

“You mean, your girl.” Taehyung drunkenly corrects Jungkook.

“Whatever.”

“Seriously man, when are you just going to grow the fucking balls?” Taehyung raises his voice just a bit, “It’s clear how you both feel—”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about man, plus I have a girlfriend now—”

“You guys are official now?” You walk up to the boys, cutting in. You feel like maybe he’s just saying that.

“y/n…yeah, we just made it official.” Jungkook admits, running a hand through his hair, sighing out in frustration.

Oh. You feel your heart begin to crumble. They’re dating for real now?

“Do you have feelings for her?” You blurt out.

Jungkook shifts from one foot to another, he breathes in and out in and out. He bites on his bottom lip, thinking of how to respond.

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

Well, at least he’s honest.

“Well, I’m going to head back to my friends…” Taehyung butts in awkwardly. “It was nice seeing you two.” And with that he’s slipping away in the crowd.

“Wanna dance?” you say, trying your best to change the subject. You decide you don’t want to know his answer.

“Sure.” Jungkook smiles at you, he reaches for your hand and you squeeze his tightly. You guide him to the dance floor, the song is a slow one. You two look at one another but there’s nothing awkward about this. He guides your arms to wrap around his neck and his hands circle around your waist, he pulls you in close as you two sway to the music.

“Never go 3 months without me again.” You whisper into his neck.

“W-Why are you bringing that up now?”

“I have to keep my eyes on you, Jungkook. Without my supervision you go off and get yourself a girlfriend.” Your drunken words pierce his heart.

“Is that a problem?” He whispers back. “Yes, a big problem.” You lean back to get a look at his face, he’s already staring down at you, he somehow brings you in even closer.

“Whys that?” He breathes out.

“Want you all for myself.” You admit, drunk words are sober thoughts right?

“You want me baby?” Jungkook leans down until he’s so close, like he cannot control it.

“Yes.” You blink up at him, your lips parted.

The song changes but you two continue to dance like it’s a slow song.

“I bet you $5 that some guy will hit on you in the next couple of minutes.”

You tilt your head and drunkenly giggle, “I highly doubt that.”

Jungkook reaches in his back pocket and hands you a five dollar bill.

“What’s this f—”

“You’re so fucking beautiful” and then his lips are just a mere inch away from yours before he’s pulling back with a look of horror and guilt plastered on his face.

“I—I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’m with Vanessa now. I’m just drunk. I’m really drunk. You’re really drunk. We don’t know what we’re doing.” He drunkenly rambles.

You feel your heart sink down into your lower belly, you feel it crack and break into a million pieces. That’s right. Vanessa. He’s making it work with that girl.

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

“You’re my best friend y/n.” Jungkook slurs out, “I’m trying so hard not to ruin that.”

You only nod your head.

“Let’s go home.” You say.

~~~~~~

Your bed is comfy as ever, especially this drunk. Jungkook takes his shirt off and slips into the sheets, settling next to you.

“Wanna cuddle?” he offers.

“I don’t know if Vanessa would like that.” You slur.

“Right.” Jungkook lays on his back, his arms folding beneath his head. “Should I sleep in the living room?”

“No. I want you here.” You admit between soft breaths. “I always want you here.” You yawn out.

“Good.” Jungkook reaches out to hold you, “I don’t think Vanessa will mind if I cuddle my best friend for just five minutes.”

“Five minutes only” you tease. You shuffle closer to him, his warmth escaping his body and clinging to yours.

You two fall asleep like this. Morning comes slowly, like the world is giving you a chance to really appreciate one another’s company. Like the world knows that moments like this are so hard to come by. Like the world knows that you two need this.

When you wake up the next day, its half past noon. You’re still in Jungkook’s arms while he is dead asleep. You nuzzle into his chest and thank the world for giving you this moment. This moment to embrace him like he is yours, a moment to kiss his cheek like he is yours, a moment to whisper you love him like he is yours.

But he isn’t. He isn’t yours and that’s the reality. But you thank the world nonetheless. Because you need these moments to stay sane. But how do you two always end up like this? Can you keep blaming the alcohol? He tried to kiss you last night and that’s also the reality.

Jungkook wanted to kiss you. Can he keep saying it’s just because he’s drunk?

But he’s with Vanessa now and you have to respect that. And you will respect that.

You thank the world though, that right now he’s in your arms, breathing your air, and sharing this moment. Just you and him.

Finally, after another half hour Jungkook begins to stir in his sleep.

You stare at him as he wakes up and his sleepy eyes find yours.

“G’morning.” His voice is low and raspy and you want to swoon.

“Hi.”

“We…” he looks between your bodies. “Didn’t do anything, right?”

You feel your chest tighten, “No, Jungkook.” You answer calmly.

“Okay…” Jungkook frowns, “We can’t keep doing this, can we?”

Somehow you know exactly what he’s talking about, you can’t keep building this tension between you two. It goes nowhere.

“No” You admit softly, “We can’t.”

You think about Jimin’s words…could Jungkook…? But you don’t want to jump to happy conclusions, put yourself out there and then be wrong. But he tried to fucking kiss you. The girls were right, is this really all for you? You can’t keep doing this. It’s not good for you. “We really can’t.” you say again.

Jungkook smiles, but its soft and sad and makes you want to kiss his pouting lips until he shows you a real smile but you can’t.

“I’m sorry about last night.” Jungkook moves to his back, he stares up at the ceiling.

“I was just really drunk.” He continues, “Drunk me is wild.” He chuckles awkwardly.

“Is that really an excuse anymore?” you feel brave enough to say.

“y/n…”

“Forget it. We’re okay.”

“Are we?” Jungkook moves back to his side, facing you. He gives you a troubled look and you melt. Why are you always melting because of this man?

“Yeah. What’s more important is that your birthday is next week…”

“Oh yeah.”

“Can I be in charge of your party?”

“I don’t want a party, just a couple of friends.”

“Let me host it!”

“Okay, fine.” Jungkook smiles, “I can’t wait.”

“Do I have to invite Vanessa?”

“y/n.” Jungkook groans.

“Kidding!” you sing. Although, you aren’t entirely sure that you’re just kidding.

“It would be nice if you could plan this with Vanessa actually…she mentioned wanting to do something nice for my birthday too.” He sort of whispers out, like he didn’t want you to actually hear.

“Oh.” You aren’t sure what to say. You obviously don’t want co-host a get together with Vanessa but she is his girlfriend after all.

“Fine.”

You and Vanessa? Let’s see how this goes.

[callme-barnes]

Drunk Crushin’

*GIF is not mine*

Summary: You have a night out with the girls to get your mind off of your ex. Now your in the tower confessing things you wouldn’t be if you were sober.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader (with powers)

Word Count: 1,842

Warnings: None

A/N: Please do not repost my work anywhere! I wrote it for Tumblr so it stays on Tumblr. I’m trying to get back in the swing of writing things because well, I love writing. It’s been literal years since I’ve written anything so please be kind. I kind of just put this out as it goes. I don’t want to think about it too much or I will never publish anything. Anyways, for this pic I gave the reader the ability to manipulate nature but it doesn’t play a huge part in it. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy otherwise!

_______________________________________________________________________

The euphoric feeling of the satin dress on your skin was mixing in nicely with the feeling of too much alcohol in your system. The alcohol heightened the smooth sensation on your skin and the music caused you to sway from side to side to the rhythm, flashing lights dancing across the exposed skin of your legs, arms, and chest. Natasha and Wanda surrounded you, the pair of them a lot more sober than you were.

“Y/N/N...how are you feeling?”

You managed to open your eyes at hearing your name, although it sounded muffled due to your intoxication.

“I feel...amazing! Who...who needs men. Right? Right!”

Wanda couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her lips at your response

“Babe maybe we should have you drink some water. You’ve been on the dancefloor for hours” she mentioned in slight concern but also was amused at how carefree and happy you were in that moment.

“I’ll take...I’ll take another shot” you said blissfully, looking at Natasha and Wanda before you reached over and moved your arms around each of their shoulders

“Thank you guys so much...I...I needed this so much. I can’t believe...believe he would do something like that. I mean...what...what the fuck was he thinking?! And in my bed for fucks sake”

Wanda and Natasha moved to walk you towards a small corner booth, Wanda excusing herself so she could get you some water.

“Don’t worry about him babe. He was a fucking asshole. I couldn’t stand him. If I had a chance to cut his head off I would”

Y/N laughed to herself as she leaned into Natasha, resting her head on her shoulder, her own head spinning.

“I love you Natasha. And you Wanda!”

Wanda laughed at your coo and she slipped into the empty seat next to you helping you get your water bottle open

“I love you too babe. Now, let’s get you sobered up just a little and get you back to the compound”

You don’t even know how the conversation was started due to your head not really remembering any complex thoughts, but your mouth was running as if you knew exactly what you were talking about.

“He’s...holy fuck, if I could get my hands on that man. He is probably...probably the hottest man I have ever laid eyes on. I’m glad he managed to get into this era because...I mean, the 40’s didn’t appreciate him much”

Natasha had her arm wrapped around your waist, your heels clacking on the hardwood floor and your dress had ridden up dangerously short above your thigh. You were smiling to yourself as images of Bucky Barnes flooded your mind, your intoxicated brain flashing the most sinful, perverted thoughts.

“Have you seen the man workout...when he’s all sweaty and...out of breath”

Wanda set your stuff down on the counter with a small smirk on her face as she listened to you go on about the super soldier, having known all this by now. She had always agreed not to read your mind but you didn’t exactly make it hard to notice sometimes. She was pretty sure everybody in the tower knew about your crush on Bucky.

“Sorry Y/N, you’re the only one who has noticed that I’m afraid”

Natasha set you down on one of the stools, Wanda moving to stand next to you to keep you upright. You swayed a bit to yourself, looking around in a haze.

“Oh come on! Don’t tell me. We’ve all been in the same room with the guy! He once took his shirt off during a sparring match with Steve and I haven’t stopped...thinking about it since. But you gotta....you gotta shhh because my boyfriend would get mad if he knew”

Natasha laughed slightly as she took some snacks from the cupboard noticing Bucky walking into the kitchen Before he got a chance to ask what you guys were up to, you let out a scoff as you looked over drunkenly at Wanda

“Oh wait….I almost, forgot! I don’t even...have a boyfriend! Not anymore. Fucking bastard. He...you know what. Fuck that guy. I think I’m pretty hot, I am a...I can make life grow with these hands!” you say as you hold up your hands in front of both you and Wanda, Wanda reaching over and grabbing onto them causing you to lean into her chest, your eyes looking up

“You think...you think I’m hot don’t you Wanda?”

Bucky watched the display in front of him, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge then looked over at Natasha

“What’s all that about?”

Natasha ate a chip and looked over at Bucky speaking quietly, “She found Leo in bed with another woman this morning”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up, a bit in surprise but more so in disdain. He figured that’s how that guy would go out. Bucky would constantly see his wandering eyes when you would bring him around, even go far as catching up all up on some girl once. Leo had just laughed it off and said it wasn’t what it had looked like before before walking back to you. Since that day Bucky made sure to keep a close eye on him, which put Leo on his guard and just made it harder to catch him

“Asshole. How did she take it? Why didn’t she tell me?”

Natasha looked at Bucky with a knowing stare, “You know why she didn’t tell you. She hasn’t exactly been that open about her relationship since that day you told her you caught him on some girl at the BBQ last year”

Bucky drank more of his water and sighed, his gaze moving up to see you interacting with Wanda. He couldn’t help the slight smile that was on his lips as Wanda pushed hair from your face and spoke to you in a quiet, calming voice.

“Whose Natasha talking to? Hey Nat! I’m the drunk one here you’re not supposed to be the one talking….to yourself”

Natasha smiled in amusement as she ate more chips from the bag, “I’m not babe, I’m talking to Bucky”

Your eyes widened immediately as you straightened up from Wanda’s body and fumbled around with your hair, “Holy shit! Why didn’t you...tell me. Wanda how do I look?”

Wanda let out a laugh and shook her head as you loudly whispered to her, her hand going to hold onto you and smooth out your hair

“You look lovely Y/N/N”

You looked in Bucky’s general direction, a smile on your face at his words. You brought your chin to rest on your open palm on top of the counter, your eyes closing and opening so you could try to focus

“Y/N, Wanda and I are going to get out of this clothes and we’re going to bring you a change of clothes. Are you okay with Bucky for a few minutes?”

You let out a soft grumble in agreement, your eyes now just staying shut.

“Yeah. I mean as long as...he doesn’t take off his shirt because I wouldn’t remember it in the morning and that would be...a waste of a strip tease”

Bucky laughed a bit as he walked over and stood next to you to keep you upright, “Don’t worry doll my shirt will stay on”

Wanda and Natasha laughed to themselves before making their way to their rooms to change. Y/N felt her body sway to rest against Bucky’s torso, her head on his chest before Bucky moved to rest a hand on your waist

“Come on Y/N we should get you in a more stable seat”

You groaned as Bucky helped you up off the stool and made his way to the couch

“Bucky, you were right. I’m sorry, I should have...listened to you”

Bucky moved to set you down on the couch, taking a seat next to you “Right about what sweetheart?”

“About Leo...he was, he’s an asshole. That day at the BBQ, I knew...I knew you were telling me the truth. I just..do you know I had caught him talking to other women all the time? On his phone, when we went out. I just...I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want it to be true”

You moved to lay your head down in his lap and sniffled, “I tried everything, he just...I should have accepted that he didn’t want me”

Bucky moved his hand to push your hair out of your face, his other hand resting around your form “Don’t beat yourself up Y/N/N. He never deserved you. He’s an idiot if I’ve ever met one. And I’ve met many. If you want I can go scare him for you. You know, rough him up a little bit”

You laughed softly and shook your head, “It’s okay. Thank you though”

Bucky looked down as he continued to run his hand through your hair, watching as you held up one of your hands, “I should’ve choked him out with a vine when I had the chance”

He let out a loud laugh at this, his hand reaching up to take yours and set it down on your hip, “Calm down there Little Shop of Horrors”

Nat and Wanda entered the living area, clothes in hand, “Alright little lady let’s get you out of these clothes. Thank you Barnes”

Bucky helped you sit up, getting up when Wanda and Natasha sat down,“Bucky can’t leave. He smells nice, and he’s comfortable”

“Bucky can’t watch us change you sweetie. Remember, waste of a strip tease?”

Bucky smiled and turned around as Nat and Wanda helped you out of your dress and into a large t-shirt and shorts, “It’s okay I’d strip for that man any day”

Wanda scoffed with a laugh, Bucky’s smile growing into a happy little smirk at your words

“He’s still in the room lady behave”

“Oops, sorry”

You let out a drunken giggle as Wanda and Nat finished up, “Alright Bucky you can turn around. You’re welcome to join us. We’re just going to pop in a movie so we can keep an eye on her for the night”

Bucky nodded as he took his seat next to you again, letting you get comfortable in his lap again, his hand finding a comfortable spot on your waist.

“Psst...hey Nat you think I...got a chance with Bucky?”

Bucky looked down with a small smirk since Natasha was on the other sofa turning on the TV, “Absolutely doll”

You let out a content mumble of ‘thank god’ before stretching out your arm across Bucky’s lap.

“You know she’s not going to remember any of this when she wakes up right?”

Bucky looked up at Wanda before looking back down at your form

“Oh I know. That’s what’s going to make my days so much better for what I have planned”