#anyway rant over REBLOG SHIT FOR FUCK'S SAKE

[ashterblaster]

How are there so many good artists on tumblr and yet i see this amazing art with like, under 200 notes??? and then some photoshop meme with over 1k??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE

[neowinestainedress]

𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 — 𝐂𝐇.𝟕

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗 — 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 (𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐄)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: lee haechan x oc ; na jaemin x oc ; haechan x ex girlfriend!oc, na jaemin x haechan's ex girlfriend!oc 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, fluff, light angst, childhood best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, exes to lovers, lovers to exes 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: eventually, everything finds the place where it belongs. 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: smut, public s*x, fing*ring, h*ndjob, unprotected s*x, oral s*x (f receiving), finger sucking (two seconds) 𝐖𝐂: +13k 𝐀/𝐍: soo this is the end. i loved writing this story (i hope it came out like the anon wanted because the plot was a lot so yeah...) i hope you loved it just as much and that the ending won’t disappoint you. i have a lot to say but i will probably rant answering your asks or reblog if you want to leave feedback (please do, i love reading your opinion). enjoy!

“Oh, babe, please, stop crying like a kid, you’re not sexy with snot falling from your nose,” Zoya said, trying to wipe Hyejin’s tears and snot, but it was quite impossible when she was clinging to her like that, hiding her face on her chest. “Babe, you will suffocate.” 

“Good, choke me so it’s quicker,” Hyejin mumbled, holding her tighter. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, stop it,” she squealed, grabbing her strongly and pulling her off herself. “Look at you, you are a mess.” 

“It’s not like I have to make a good impression on anyone,” she huffed. 

Zoya rolled her eyes. “Had to wipe his tears two weeks ago and now I have to wipe yours because you two are dumb and dumber,” she groaned before sighing, rubbing her temple exhausted, “why did I even come back here?” 

Hyejin pouted. “Whose tears?” 

“Jaemin’s? Crying over you because you don’t like him? And now you, crying over him because he doesn’t like you? So you’re either fucking with me or are two dumbasses.” 

“He’s attracted to me, that’s all.” 

“That’s all? Really? You talk a lot about the way Haechan looks at me and then don’t see the way Jaemin looks at you?” 

Hyejin sighed, falling against her chest again. “Then why did he say that?” 

“Because he’s scared? And because he caught Haechan fingering you? I don’t know, I would question your love, or whatever it is for him, too. Sorry, boo, but that was fucked up.” 

“I know, I… I wanted to see if I felt something again but I… I didn’t. It was pleasure with nothing else. No love, no passion, and I lost Jaemin too.” 

“You didn’t lose him,” she said, forcing her face up again and caressing her hair. “You just have to be brave and openly talk to him.” 

“But I did the other night! He pushed me away.” 

“Can you blame him? And… have you? How honest were you? How can you be honest if you don’t even know what you’re feeling?” 

“Shut up, I don’t want your wise, psychological words, I want to cry and complain,” she huffed, crossing her arms on her chest. She knew Zoya was right, but she felt like she couldn’t fix it, she had fucked up, deeply, and there was no way Jaemin would take her back.

Zoya laughed. “You’ve been doing it for hours, don’t you think it’s time to fix yourself?” 

“No, I like your hugs, I want to stay in your arms. We only did that when we were kids…” she sighed, “and only twice probably.” 

“It was more than twice,” she said, hugging her back, caressing her back. “On that evil ride, when I was shitting myself. On the bathroom floor when I was crying because I missed my mom. When we would wait in line at the ice cream shop, you were taller than me and would rest your head on mine.” 

“No, I didn’t,” she said, shaking her head, feeling her face heat up in shame. 

“Oh, you did,” Zoya laughed. “You can’t rewrite history.” 

“Fine,” Hyejin gave up, waving her off with a movement of hand.

“Anyway,” she said, clearing her throat. “We would always hug each other in our sleep, remember? We would squeeze in that bed, you on the far end, me in the middle because I was terrified even of my shadow, and Haechan behind me. I would always hug you.” 

Hyejin sniffled. “I kinda forgot all the good moments me and you had… God, I really let a man blind me?” 

A tender chuckle left Zoya’s lips before she replied, “I was a bitch, I won’t lie. You didn’t cut me off because of him, you cut me off when I… when I left you for the cool kids or whatever they were,” she said and they both giggled, there was a bit of bitterness behind that, but by now it was in the past, and there was nothing they could do to change that.  

“Fair.” 

“Can I be honest?” Zoya asked, keeping her head up from the sofa to meet her eyes, following the line of her ear to brush her hair. “You were a cool kid in my eyes. I was so jealous of you. I hated I couldn’t draw like you, or sing like you. And damn, your cakes? You were so young and yet so good at that, I was furious.” 

“You’re good at cooking.” 

“Maybe, but not baking.” 

Hyejin laughed. “You should’ve told me then, I would’ve let you in the ‘cool loser kids’ club, it was crowded, but I think I could’ve squeezed a place for you,” she joked and Zoya chuckled. 

“And yet somehow you always had my back.” 

“It’s what friends do, even when you want to strangle them.” 

Zoya laughed. “Thank you,” she said, voice full of honesty, as she felt a weight being lifted from her chest.  

“For?” 

“For faking it even when you didn’t want to,” she said, feeling tears at the corner of her eyes. “For always sitting at our table and watching me and Haechan rubbing it on your face and for never throwing something at me. Thank you for never hating me, even if it could’ve been so easy, especially in these last months.” 

Hyejin shrugged. “I can’t hate you, I tried, trust me, I’m not the wisest woman on earth so I’ve put all myself into trying to hate you, but I failed. Also, it’s pretty stupid to go against something that’s written in destiny.” 

“And what’s written in destiny?” 

“You and Haechan.” 

“Shut up.” 

Hyejin sighed. “I know you like him, and I know he likes you too, no matter how much he tries to deny it. And, I don’t think I should be giving it to you, but you have my blessing if that’s what’s stopping you from going for it.” 

Zoya didn’t say a word for a while, letting her words sink in and taking time to decide what to say next, there was still something she didn’t tell her, and it was making her feel guilty. “We fucked,” she confessed, face contorting as she awaited for the worst reaction.  

“Good for you,” Hyejin replied nonchalantly. 

“No, now, recently, after he fought with you and Jaemin. Aren’t you mad?” 

“Why would I?”

“It’s like betraying you,” she said, trying to study her friend better and see if she was lying to her, or if that was her honest reaction. 

“Is it? Zoya, I don’t care. And I truly mean it when I say you’re destined.” 

“No, we’re not. We’re not… we’re not who we used to be. It will never work out.” 

“Isn’t it better to die after giving it a try?” 

“Bitch, you’re talking,” she retorted with a scoff. 

“Hey!” Hyejin screamed, hitting her arm with a slap. 

“Sorry, but like, you want to give up on Jaemin and come here to give me a lesson about Haechan?” 

“Fine,” she gave up, shaking her head. “We’ll both give it a try.” 

“Good, I like it when we’re equal.” 

Hyejin laughed. “God, will it be awkward as fuck?” 

“Probably, but… we can’t die without giving it a try, right?” 

Hyejin shook her head before resting close to Zoya again as they giggled. “Can we slump in a can of ice cream before acting like grown, responsible women? Maybe putting on some cliché romantic movie?” 

“You can bet on it. The last time we did something like this, Twilight just came out.” 

“Haechan’s not home.” 

“I know,” Hyejin replied with a small frown on her face when Jaemin opened the door and sighed as soon as he saw her face, “I was looking for you.” 

“For what?” 

Hyejin rolled her eyes. “Can I come in?” 

Jaemin hesitated for a moment, quickly moving his eyes between her and the room before humming and moving to the side, closing the door behind once she stepped in. 

“So?” 

“I’m tired.” 

“Go to sleep? I don’t know how I can help with that,” he said, shrugging. 

“No,” she sighed, “I’m tired of this wall between us. You don’t answer my texts or my calls, you’re always locked inside your room when I pass around. Do you hate me?” 

Jaemin gulped, trying to keep the eye contact, but struggling. “I’m busy. Iseul doesn’t have school now, so I always have to look after her.” 

“Bullshit,” she replied sternly. “You’re avoiding me. You’re mad at me, and I understand, I would be mad at me too, I mean, I am mad,” she said, looking down before lifting her gaze again. “I shouldn’t have kissed him, or even let him touch me like that.” 

“We’ve already discussed it,” his voice was tight in his throat, and his fist clenched at his side.  

“Yes, and you lied. And I won’t throw away all those moths we’ve spent together with these damned growing feelings because you were hurt and wanted to protect your pride. I’m sorry, and I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you.” 

Jaemin blinked a tear away before taking a deep breath and hum lowly. “I can’t do this.” 

Hyejin’s mouth parted lightly, she wasn’t expecting an enthusiastic reply, but she wasn’t even expecting this. Or better, she was, but she hoped for a different ending til the last moment. “But why?” 

“Because I’m not sure about you,” he whispered, shy eyes briefly making contact with hers before falling on the brown floor. 

“You don’t like me?” 

“I’m not sure if you truly like me or if you’re using me as a rebound. I thought even that was fine, but it’s not. I — I’m in too deep to pretend I wouldn’t — to pretend it wouldn’t kill me if one day you came up to me and told me ‘oops, it was just sex and a way to fill the void Haechan left, but you’re a good friend though, let’s keep in touch.’ I would hate it.”

“Why do you think I would? I don’t love him anymore, I was just too drunk and overwhelmed, and we talked again about us after months and I was afraid of losing him, so I did the only thing that I’ve ever done to keep him with me, I tried to give him something of me. But now I know me and Haechan are supposed to be friends, best friends, if we can ever go back there without feeling awkward. But we don’t work, we simply don’t…” 

Jaemin exhaled deeply, nervously making small movements on the spot to focus the anxiety he was feeling in his whole body. “Yeah, but what about me? What about us?”

“We can make it work?” 

“I don’t want it to be forced. I want you to want me because you do, and not because you’re looking for arms to hold you, and lips to kiss you or make you come. I don’t want sex, I want love,” he whispered, voice shaking as silent tears started making their way on his face. “I’m so pathetically in love with you, and… I’ve seen your eyes look at him with so much love that the thought of you not looking at me with at least half of that love terrifies me. I wasn’t supposed to witness how much you loved him, maybe I could’ve fooled myself you felt the same for me.” 

Hyejin didn’t reply, she only slowly lowered her gaze when the hold on his became too much. “What if I showed you? What if I proved it to you?” 

“What if we take time to understand what we feel?” 

“I don’t need time to understand what I feel. I’ve spent so many years holding into a ghost that was made up in my mind, but you, fuck, Jaemin, you are real, the first real thing I can lay my hands on. You are here, always, I don’t have to run after you, chase you down hallways, and beg for you to see me. And I… I know what I feel, I know I love you, and even if I’m scared, terrified actually, that doesn’t take away what I feel for you.” 

Jaemin shook his head, his brain fighting with the excited pounding of his heart. “You don’t, you don’t love me, you love the feeling, you love being heard, being seen, and being loved. But not me.” 

Hyejin shook her head. “That’s not true. You are all those things, you are you, and I love you.” 

“You don’t!” He replied, this time rising his voice and not able to control the tears. 

Her lips quivered as she pressed them in a thin line, disagreeing with small movements of the head. “Why are you pushing me away when you love me? Why are you trying so hard to prove me wrong?” 

“Because I need to put myself first, Hyejin. I can’t do this. We can be friends if you want to, but no more kisses or… whatever,” he gesticulated, trying to find a name to give to whatever was going on between them.  

“Friends? Is this all we are, friends?” She asked, voice shaking, and tears flooding freely. 

“Hyejin, I can’t,” he whispered, begging her to let it go. “Please.” 

She nodded, pressing her lips together to avoid an ugly sob to escape. “Fine, let’s be friends. Let’s pretend we never kissed, we never fucked, we never held hands, we never went to dates, we never texted up at night, we never… never mind.” 

“Hyejin,” he whispered when she passed next to him, making her stop in her tracks but don’t turn around. “I’m afraid I’ll get hurt.” 

Only then she turned around. “You think you’re the only one? You think I’m not? You think I’m not terrified of making the same mistake again, turning a friendship into love? But I didn’t want to control my feelings, I wanted to have you, I know how risky and dangerous this is, but I was willing to risk it all.” 

“I —” Jaemin struggled to find his words, and just let them die in his brain.  

“You don’t feel the same, I know. It’s alright. At least I tried, I couldn’t live with the idea of being the reason why I lost you.” 

“You never called me,” Zoya said, dangling her legs as she sat atop the quarter pipe, a bottle of soju in her hand, the skate left behind and Haechan by her side while the hot air of June caressed their skins. 

“You disappeared,” he replied, a bitter smile setting on his lips as he looked at the empty space under him. 

“I had to,” she confessed. 

“Did you? Because it fucking hurt, like… a lot,” he said, chuckling bitterly, looking at her. 

“I thought you would forget about me; I thought it wasn’t going to work, and I didn’t want to stain our relationship. We were a pretty good thing while we lasted,” she said, chuckling as she rolled her head back, looking at the stars. 

“I would forget about you? Me? Seriously?” He asked, turning his neck around to stare at her; the pretty, silver light of the moon reflecting beautifully on her dark, brown skin and hair. 

Zoya chuckled, tilting her head to meet his eyes. “Loving someone when they’re in front of your eyes is a thing, doing it miles apart is another.” 

“Bullshit,” he muttered, pulling his left leg up to rest his head on his knee. “You know I would’ve gone to the end of the world for you.” 

“I know,” she replied. “But I also knew, and know, you would’ve done the same for Hyejin.” 

“Hyejin?” He furrowed. “You left because of her?” 

“No, you know why I had to leave, I couldn’t stay here without my family. But I broke up with you because I was insecure.” 

Haechan chuckled. “I was a shitty boyfriend even back then? No, cause with Hyejin I’m pretty self-aware I’ve sucked in the last months, but with you? I thought I did a great job when I had less life weighing on me.” 

Zoya giggled, reaching for his hand and caressing it softly. “You were an amazing boyfriend, but sometimes we have paranoias that have nothing to do with the person we love.” 

“So? Why do all the women I love make things up and then use them to break up with me, for fuck’s sake.” 

“Hey, we didn’t. I mean, I did, but I think Hyejin had better reasons.” 

Haechan sighed. Yeah, he knew Zoya was just a tiny reason, but blaming it on a person, on something made up, hurt less than facing the truth; not being compatible, not fitting together after trying so hard to be each other’s missing puzzle piece and see that it was all to waste because they would’ve never fit, not in that puzzle at least. 

“So, you at least agree yours were stupid? It’s not like you’ve ever explained them to me.” 

“They were, but I was a scared teenager, and I also felt our love was too big…” she whispered, waiting for his reaction, watching an expression of disbelief blooming on his face. 

“Too big?” 

Zoya hummed. “I know it sounds stupid, but… it all felt so right, and we were only kids, I was afraid it would’ve burst on its own and hurt me too much, so I acted, and fooled myself I could have control of the situation.” 

Haechan snickered. “You’ve always been insane, but damn. Control freak,” he joked, making her laugh. 

She sighed, wiping a tear away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, so low in the night that it got almost wiped away by the wind and the sound of the cars in the street. 

“It’s in the past, Zoya,” he reassured her.  

“I shouldn’t have done that, if only I knew… but I was so jealous of what you and Hyejin had, I guess it’s true, you always want what you don’t have, and you get so lost in seeing what’s far from you, that you don’t see and understand how precious what you already hold is. You’ve dated two dumb assholes, I can’t defend either me or Hye on this,” she joked, making him laugh. 

Some minutes of silence passed by before Haechan broke the quiet again. “Do you know why I feel so bad?” 

“Why?” 

“Because deep down, I know Hyejin is right, but I don’t have the courage to look back and try to understand if I was true to her, if I was really there, mind cold, when she confessed, and I said I loved her back. I don’t have it in me to go back in time and wonder if I was trying to fill a hole, because I know I love Hyejin so damn much, and the idea that I’ve hurt her, even if not consciously, or made her live in a lie, kills me,” he confessed, letting go some tears as he looked down. “The first day of school, I promised her I was going to protect her from all the pain in the world, I never imagined I would’ve been the cause of it one day.” 

Zoya smiled, caressing the back of his head. “This shows exactly that you love her. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t care. I think there’s no one to blame for this, we were, and are,” she chuckled, “just kids trying to figure out life. It’s hard, damn, I would give up anything to go back to those old days and don’t have a worry in my mind.” 

Haechan giggled, nodding, but his fingers were busy torturing each other. 

“But we’re adults now, we can’t judge the kids we were. I guess she knows, she knows you didn’t mean it, and she was never even mad at you. Come on, she’s the more mature of the trio for a reason, Hyuck.” 

“Right, right,” he chuckled. “But if —” 

Zoya shut him up with a finger. “You can’t,” she said resolutely. “You can’t change anything, there’s no point dwelling on it.” 

Haechan hummed, looking down. “But maybe we can start all over again? Maybe we can fix what has been broken? Play a game of our own with all these what ifs?” 

“Like?” 

“Like what would’ve happened if we tried, if you didn’t give up on me, if I picked up the phone instead of crying for you, if I kept looking for you in the moon and the stars?” 

“This,” she whispered, uniting their lips in a kiss, pulling him close by the collar of his shirt. 

They could’ve stopped, probably they should’ve stopped, but after all, this was to see what would’ve happened, right? It was just a game, a play-pretend they could’ve gone back in time and kept walking on that old road instead of taking an unknown one, leaving each other in the past.

So they didn’t stop their curios hands from roaming on each other’s bodies, falling behind as heavy kisses filled the calm, chill air. 

“We shouldn’t — we shouldn’t do this,” Zoya whimpered when Haechan’s hand slipped inside her shorts, “not here.” 

“There’s no one around,” he replied, starting to move his fingers on her clit through the panties. “We literally jumped off the fence.” 

Zoya bit back a moan, head rolling on the hard concrete as his movements got faster. “Two illegal things don’t make one right.” 

“Just relax,” he urged, laying on the side to kiss her, distracting her from his fingers moving her panties to the side to slip one inside of her. 

“Hyuck,” she breathed out, lifting a hand to grab the short sleeve of his shirt. 

“Don’t act as if you’re not turned out, you’re dripping around my finger,” he teased, kissing her again to muffle her moans. 

“But what if someone finds us out?” 

“Just keep quiet and it won’t happen,” he replied, adding another finger, making her hiss and tighten the hold on him. 

“Let me — let me take care of you too,” she mumbled, reaching between his legs to slip her hand past the shorts and the boxers, wrapping her fingers around his hard dick. 

Their hands were quick, working in and out, up and down, while their lips crashed in messy, wet kisses to shut down the sounds of pleasure. The concrete underneath them was uncomfortable, but something about all of this was thrilling; the lack of answers to the questions running through their mind, the open air in the middle of the night, the chill breeze caressing their burning hot skins. 

“Haechan,” Zoya moaned, head rolling back as the knot in her stomach tightened. “Close.”

“Me too, fuck, me too,” he whimpered back, both their hips bucking in search for more. And in a few seconds, they both came, making a mess on each other’s fingers. 

“Let’s go home,” Haechan whispered against her lips before standing up and taking her hand after roughly cleaning themselves up on their clothes. 

Once they arrived at Zoya’s place, they rushed to the bedroom, quickly undressing each other and crawling on the bed. 

“Need you,” she whispered, pulling him down in a heated kiss, fingers tangling in his hair while her hips bucked up, looking for contact. 

And after that, the room filled up with skin slapping against skin, whimpers and moans, two bodies burning up together in those sheets, on another night that wasn’t supposed to end like this. 

Saying Haechan and Jaemin were back on the right track was a wild thing to say. The atmosphere in the house was tense and they looked like strangers more than anything else. 

Haechan hated it, he couldn’t believe all those years of friendships came down to this. And he had tried to fix it, explaining to him that between him and Hyejin things were over and that night was a mistake, but Jaemin didn’t want to listen to reasons, he simply stated he knew and they didn’t have to justify with him. 

But it was clear it wasn’t like this when he heard that he and Hyejin fought another time, and Jaemin didn’t want to give her a chance. Honestly, he couldn’t understand why he was acting like this, but he had no idea how to talk to him without starting a fight. 

So, when Jaemin came to him instead, Haechan was more than surprised. 

It was a hot afternoon and they both were looking for the fresh air in the living room, watching a movie they picked together (without fighting) and turning on the fan to cool down. 

“Do you think she’s being honest?” 

At first, Haechan didn’t understand, he didn’t even get that Jaemin was talking to him, and only when his friend called out his name, he realized what was going on. 

“Mhh? Hyejin?” 

“Yeah, Hyejin,” Jaemin hummed, inclining his head to the side to make eye contact. 

“I don’t think I’m supposed to know what happened between you two,” he said. 

“But I know you do, Zoya scolded me already, so I guess Hyejin run to you two to talk,” he explained. 

Haechan shook his head. “She didn’t come to me, I doubt she will ever come to me to talk about something for a long time.”

“But do you know?” 

He hesitated to reply for a moment, trying to predict Jaemin’s reaction and don’t start a fight, but the man in front of him seemed almost relaxed, so he gave it a try. “Zoya said something, yes. And well, me and Hyejin talked that other night… but I’m not sure those words were real, we were drunk and overwhelmed.” 

“You talked about me?” Jaemin asked, sitting up straight, suddenly more interested in the conversation. 

“A bit,” he whispered, looking around the room. 

“Oh, bad news, isn’t it?” 

“No, I don’t think you should be the one to talk with.” 

“What did she say?” Jaemin insisted, ignoring his words. 

Haechan sighed, rubbing his neck before looking at him. “She’s afraid, she doesn’t want to use you and lose you, but she loves the way she feels when she’s with you,” he replied before chuckling bitterly, “she said nobody gets her like you do.” 

Jaemin’s mouth widened, surprised her words were the same, but even more shocked at the last part. “Nobody gets her like I do?” He asked again to make sure he heard right. 

Haechan nodded. “You thought she was lying?” 

He shook his head, falling against the couch again. “I don’t know what to think. I’m afraid she will never love me like she loved you.” 

Haechan laughed, and Jaemin looked at him sternly. “I’m sorry but… okay, listen, if there’s something that I know about her, is that when she loves, she loves deeply, and sincerely, and she would go to the end of the world for you. I also know I’ve done little to nothing to make her feel the same, so I don’t see how you and her could make a bad match.” 

“But you and her never made a bad match either and this didn’t work out.” 

“It’s different, it’s… we were never meant to be. We felt comfort in each other and just dived into a relationship that was never supposed to last. Just because we make great friends it doesn’t mean we make great lovers,” Haechan explained. After thinking about it over and over again, those words weren’t painful anymore, it simply was reality. And he felt like a weight was being lifted from his chest as he finally admitted that out loud.  

Jaemin sighed, not feeling any better at his friend’s words. “But me and her are friends too, what if it’s wrong?” 

“Is it? I’ve seen the way you both look at each other, I wouldn’t have gone jealous batshit for nothing. And honestly, it was even before we broke up. I knew you loved her, I could see it in your eyes, and the way you gently touched her, and I couldn’t say anything because deep down I knew I was in the wrong, I wasn’t loving her like you did, but she still wanted me, and that made me believe we could’ve walked past this storm too.” 

The blond couldn’t hide the surprise as he stared at him. “You weren’t jealous?” 

“I was, terribly, but I mostly showed it when me and her were alone. But that’s not what I want to talk about. I know she loves you too, she just needs time to understand what real love feels like.” 

Jaemin chuckled. “Why are you being so honest?” 

“Because you’re both my friends, and I’ve already fucked enough things up, I’m not going to make it worst.”  

“You’re not the only one that fucked things up,” Jaemin said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, and I deserved that punch.” 

“No, you didn’t. I mean, you did, the punch wasn’t because you two fucked, especially considering you gave her a good time,” he joked and they both laughed. “You’re not so nice with your words, man. That hurt.” 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Jaemin said. “Friends like before?” He asked, reaching out a hand. 

“What’s with that? A hand? Hug me, idiot!” 

Jaemin never felt so much anxiety as he did at that moment, waiting for Hyejin to arrive as he stood under the tree at the park near the river. It was their usual spot when she would go with him to keep him company when he had to look after Iseul, there was a nice bench where they could sit and still have eyes on the little girl as she played around with her friends. 

But now the park was almost empty, and the only thing keeping him company was fear. 

More than a month went by since their last talk, more precisely their phone call, when Jaemin told her he needed time, they both did. He tried to explain to her he needed to leave again, take a small break, and see if this was just a fling or if his feelings were real, and he asked her to do the same. 

‘I know you don’t like fucking with strangers, I’m not asking you to do that,’ he chuckled through the phone, ‘but I need you to see the outer world, I need you to understand if you really want me or if I’m just the closest escape you have.’ 

Hyejin didn’t like that phone call, crying on the other side, repeating that her feelings were real, and she felt so guilty for what she did that night with Haechan. But Jaemin was firm in his decision, even if that talk with Haechan already convinced him halfway that Hyejin was being honest, now he needed the other missing half from her. 

Now, on a hot afternoon in late July, the moment of truth arrived. 

“Hi,” Hyejin’s voice rang behind him, making him get up and turn around to see her stand with a hand raised as she waved at him. 

“You look beautiful,” was the only thing he could say before he could stop himself and think twice. Her brown hair was put in two soft braids falling at the sides of her neck, the pink dress covering her midthigh, and the heart-shaped bag hanging from her shoulder. “I mean, we need to talk.” 

Hyejin giggled, lowering her head to hide the blush that coloured her cheeks, and then sat next to him, watching him follow her soon after. 

“I know, you texted me,” she said, and in her voice, masqueraded by lightheartedness, he could feel all the fear behind. His text was anxiety-inducing, as he let her know he came back from his trip to America and was ready to discuss their future.  

Jaemin nodded, gulping because he wasn’t used to having her this close anymore. Her scent felt like the closest thing to home. “I missed you,” he confessed, smiling at her. “I had fun, I went out, met new people, and yet, I still missed you. And… I thought about our conversation a lot,” he continued, slowly torturing his fingers and nails and bouncing his leg, “and I think I came to a conclusion.” 

Hyejin nodded, signaling him to go on. She wasn’t calm either, but when she got out of the house she didn’t get her hopes high, probably he just wanted to close this off once and for all, and she would’ve accepted every decision. 

“I think you’re being honest, and I’m sorry if I doubted you. Unless you’re an amazing actress, I have to admit that the way we acted carried some sort of feelings, and I won’t lie anymore and say I don’t love you, because I do, I love you so much that I think I’m willing to take this risk.” 

Hyejin blinked twice, not expecting him to be this honest, and especially not expecting so many pieces of information all at once. “You’re saying you want to give us a try? A real one?” 

“If you want to, of course,” he whispered, suddenly fearing it was too late and she had already changed her mind. “I mean, this trip, this break was for the both of us, so if you found out I’m not the one, and you fell for somebody else, everything I said, doesn’t matter.” 

“Of course, I do,” she said, “I want you. I tried to go out, I mean, I did. Zoya helped me with dating apps and things like this, but… my heart wasn’t there. With some people I even went out on more dates, but nothing clicked. And I realized that probably I started liking you long before I came to terms with it, that’s why I fucked it all up. Haechan was right, we both morally cheated on each other, but I genuinely wasn’t aware what I felt for you was love… love is such a strong word. I didn’t love you when I was dating Haechan, but I liked you. I liked spending time with you and it made me feel so good, so much better, and so much fuller than being romantically with Haechan ever did,” she confessed. “And I know it sounds like comparing but I need to set some lines and I need you to know those lines, I need to be honest with you, because I haven’t been as clear as you’ve always been with me, and you deserve clarity.” 

A tender smile crept on his lips, as much as he hoped for this answer, he wasn’t expecting it. “You know, Haechan was the reason I gave you another chance.” 

“What?” She asked, surprise blooming on her face.

Jaemin hummed, “I know, he’s the last person you would expect to talk some sense into someone, but he did,” he explained, laughing. 

“So, you’re not mad at him either? I haven’t been talking to him much…” 

“It sucks being mad at him, or you. I just think we all acted very human-like, isn’t what we are after all?” 

Hyejin couldn’t hold back the smile on her face as she nodded. “You know I can love you just as much if not more, right?”

“I know, but you can’t blame me for being afraid and doubting it. Every time I tried to open your eyes about him you were blinded by love…” 

“Honestly, I don’t think that love was that healthy. So, why don’t you let me love you right? No more blindness, no more hiding things, no more trying to hold onto things we’re not. I want to make this right, I need to. If in all that mess we were so beautiful, I can’t wait to discover what we can be now.” 

Jaemin reached for her hand, gently rubbing his thumb on her palm. “I want that too, but you need to promise me that you will always, always, talk to me if anything I do makes you feel bad, or uncomfortable, if you feel like I don’t listen enough. I’m not justifying you know who, but you don’t ever ask what you want out loud, and I can’t see inside your mind to know what you want. I mean, I kinda do, our chemistry and mind connection works pretty well,” he chuckled, making her laugh too, “but it won’t always be this easy.” 

Hyejin smiled, “I promise you I will communicate. I know it’s a flaw I have. Something you don’t…” 

“I mean, we fought a few times because I don’t keep anything in, so…” Jaemin joked, lifting his hands and tilting his head to the side, making her laugh. 

“You’re right,” she said, moving closer to him. “So… no more fights, and no more running away?” 

“No more,” he replied, pulling away from her hand so his palm could cup her cheek. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Of course, you can,” she said, pulling him close. 

The kiss was different from all the others they shared, it felt like the first real one. It wasn’t fearless, but those fears that danced around their lips were manageable and not as scary as the old ones. And their hands weren’t in a rush as they wrapped around each other, holding tight, never letting go. 

And that month spent away, far from the eyes, but not far from their hearts, had been more useful than they thought. It was necessary to don’t make other mistakes, to don’t rush things and end up in the same old schemes. 

“You know,” she whispered against his lips when they pulled apart to breathe, “I cried so much thinking I was never going to kiss you again.” 

A gentle smile crept on his face, soft eyes looking down at hers. “I’m sorry, but I needed time to think.” 

“I know, I needed my time too, but we’re here now, right? It’s all that matters.”

Jaemin’s smile only got bigger as he replied, “Yeah, it’s all that matters.”  

“We need to talk,” Haechan said, sitting up straight, lifting his head from Zoya’s lap to face her. 

“Don’t like the movie?” She asked, raising a brow, trying to mask the anxiety that shoot up to the roof. 

“No, fuck the movie, it’s about us,” he explained, swallowing deeply. 

“Oh, I don’t like this,” she chuckled, fixing her top to focus her nervousness on something else. 

“We can’t keep fucking and kissing and going out on dates without addressing any of this,” he went on. 

Zoya shrugged. “Why not? We’re friends… friends with benefits, maybe,” she replied but struggled to meet his eyes. 

“Really? Is this all it comes down to?” Haechan asked, a bitter edge in his voice as he raised a brow. “Friends with benefits?” 

“Then what are we?” 

Haechan sighed. “Don’t you ever stop and wonder if there’s something more? If we are something more?” 

She took her time to reply, swallowing hard before opening her mouth. “Lovers?” 

But he shook his head. “More than that,” he said, rubbing his temple. “It kept me up at night, but… but I think I’ve finally realized why I’ve been so torn up between you and Hyejin all these years.” 

Zoya waited, tears almost running down her cheek, but she swiftly wiped it away. 

“Because you two are both my soulmates but in a different way. And I need you both to breathe and stay afloat in the mess that my life is and — and I couldn’t tear the lines apart, because how could I do that when you both are the stars leading me home?” 

Zoya didn’t reply, she only felt thousands of emotions as she tried to take them in and elaborate them. This was a lot. And probably it could’ve also been considered weird from the outside, such a heavy word used for both her and Hyejin, but knowing what they have been through — what all of them have been through — it only seemed like the right word that could patch up everything together. The missing puzzle piece that finally gave a sense to the whole picture.  

“I love you,” Haechan slurred, “so fucking much, Zoya. I — I’ve loved you since the day I first saw you, and I didn’t even know what love meant back then, but you fitted right where you were supposed to be. You completed me from the start, since your trembling hand held mine and then became the hand dragging me into the unknown. And I’m fine if you don’t want me, if don’t love me, even, but I need to be honest with you, I need you to know what I feel, and what I’ve always felt. If you want to leave now, I don’t want to spend more years regretting things I didn’t say or things I didn’t do like the last time.” 

Not a single word came out of her lips, she simply jumped in his arms and kissed him, cupping his face in her hands and holding him tight. Tighter than ever before, right into the palm of her hands, just to make sure she couldn’t lose him this time, or ever. 

She was never good with words; it was clear when they became friends understanding each other with signs and body language, and it was also clear when she ran away instead of explaining to him her doubts. But most importantly, it was clear now, that that kiss held thousands of words, and the most important ones; I love you, too.

“I was thinking,” Jaemin let the phrase hang in the air while he looped his arm with Hyejin’s, “we could get a cat together.” 

Hyejin chuckled, looking down before lifting her gaze to him. “Already planning big, Mr. Na?” 

Jaemin shrugged, a small smirk curving his lips as he stared in front of them as they kept walking next to the Han River. It was a windy, sunny afternoon, and they were just enjoying the summer sun. “I’m just talking about a cat, or two… or three…” 

She playfully slapped his arm, making him flinch, and then said, “see, it’s always like this with you, we start with something small and then you go crazy.” 

“What? We both love cats,” he pouted, trying to win her with big, doe eyes. 

But she shook her head. “Where would we even keep them? We don’t live together.” 

“Not yet,” he whispered, but it wasn’t low enough for her to don’t hear. 

“Not yet? See, you are planning big,” she teased but failed to hide the genuine, touched smile on her face. 

“Maybe,” he gave up, “if we work out…” 

“If?” She gasped offended, holding a hand on her chest. “Are you set for failure?” 

“Oh, please, give me a break,” he replied, making her break out in a laugh. 

“I love messing with you,” she said, sending him a flying kiss. 

“But seriously… if this works out, can we get a cat?” 

Hyejin chuckled at his pouting eyes and lips and nodded. “You know me, I would never say no to a cat. We just need a house…” 

But Jaemin didn’t seem to register the last words as he happily jumped around, cheering like a kid. “I knew I could convince you!” 

“You didn’t do anything,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “And don’t erase the rest, we don’t live together.” 

“I know,” he said, pulling her closer again, “in the future, who knows.” 

Hyejin hummed, nodding weakly before taking a deep breath, and meeting his eyes. “Do you think I’m stupid if I don’t know what I want?” 

Jaemin panicked. “For us?” 

“No,” she reassured. “It’s just… I… maybe it’s because I don’t want to rush it with you, I want to take this slow because I feel that the pressure about the future, the living together, the family thing, is what burned me down. I know I want you, and I know we can make this work, but I want to be young and careless with you. Like, we have our whole life to pay the bills and do the laundry together, you know? But now, I want the silly dates, I want the rides back home, I want to text you to pick me up or vice versa, I want to ask you to sleep over for one night, I want to feel… carefree.”

“It’s not weird, I feel the same. I mean, I want the cats, I won’t lie,” he joked, making her laugh, “but I like what we have right now, and I think it’s right for our age.”

Hyejin smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist and letting her face flush against his broad chest, smiling happily. This was a safe place she never felt before, somebody respecting her space, time and needs, even while expressing his wants. This felt like heaven on earth, even if it was just a boring afternoon walking around the Han River. But what made it special was being with someone that made her feel whole. 

She didn’t want to count how many pictures Jaemin took of her, some in secret, some others begging her to pose in certain ways, giggling like a kid as he scrolled through the phone and struggled to pick one to make as his phone screen. 

And after he had finally picked one, he just changed it to a new one when, after walking down a side street close to Hongdae where they saw stray cats that demanded attention and he took a thousand others of her with the orange cat. 

“I take this as a sign, we should take him home,”

“And where? Haechan will die, and my landlord doesn’t allow cats,” she reminded him, still petting the small kitten that was rubbing its head on her knees. 

“But he’s orange,” Jaemin pouted, kneeling next to her. “And clearly loves you,” he added with a grunt when the cat didn’t pay him attention. 

Hyejin laughed, shaking her head. “Of course, he does. I’m snow white, every animal loves me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, rolling his eyes, and getting up. “So, can we steal him?”

“We can’t keep him anywhere,” she repeated. “I’m sure he’s fine, he’s pretty fat for a stray cat. Maybe he’s not even stray. My cat would go around every house in town to ask for food, we had to lock him inside.”

Jaemin laughed, watching her get up when the cat decided it was enough cuddles for the day, walking away with his tail straight after meowing one last time. 

“Fine, I give up,” Jaemin said, hands lifted in the air as he shook his head. “Only cause I’m starving, should we head to a restaurant?”

“Oh, so you’re spoiling me today?” She asked with a sly smirk on her face before intertwining their hands and starting to walk down the road again. 

“I always do, you shouldn’t be surprised.”

She giggled, “I think I’ll never stop.”

After walking around for a while, they found a cosy Chinese place they’d never been to before and decided to try.

“You stole all my spring rolls, so much for someone that said didn’t want them,” Jaemin mocked, looking down at his empty plate. 

“I just wanted to have a taste,” she pouted, batting her lashes, distracting him from her chopstick and reaching for his dumplings. “Hey,” she gasped when he blocked her with a flick of his chopstick.  

“I can see you, even if you look mesmerizing I have to stay on the watch out when you’ re near my food.”

She tried not to show the effect the word ‘mesmerizing’ had on her and replied to him instead, “I thought you wanted to share with your girlfriend,” she pouted. 

“You ate them all, that’ s not sharing, that’s stealing,” he pointed out but still moved the plate of dumplings in the middle. “Eat. I’ll eat the pork and then order another one of the rolls.”

She smiled happily before grabbing one dumpling, but instead of bringing it to her lips, she brought it to his. “Since you’re so generous.”  

“Jaemin,” Hyejin’s breath was ragged as they tried to keep quiet in the dead of the night, carefully — not really — walking to her bedroom with the lights off. 

“I can’t wait any longer,” he whispered against the skin of her neck, lifting her up and quickly opening the door before closing it behind him. “You teased me all night, it was supposed to be the most romantic date ever but you just had to be horny.” 

Hyejin giggled as he laid her on the bed, hovering over her as he undid his tie with a quick, harsh tuck, throwing it behind, slowly followed by the blouse. 

“Let me take care of the rest,” she said, winking, and sitting up, swiftly reaching for his belt and zipper, pushing his pants down his leg. 

“You’re too dressed up for my liking,” he said, pushing her down again, hand reaching her back to unzip her red dress. 

Hyejin’s mouth was partly open to let out the first shaky breaths as Jaemin’s lips ran down her exposed skin, leaving soft kisses while his hands caressed every inch of her. She expected more eagerness given the constant dirty jokes during the expensive dinner he had spoiled her with, and especially for the way his hands couldn’t keep away from her, but Jaemin was taking it slow. 

He didn’t have to rush anymore, to feel her because the morning would’ve taken her away like the first time they shared, she was there, and she was going to be there forever if destiny was kind enough to don’t steal her from him. 

“You’re beautiful, you know,” he whispered as he trailed up on her stomach, in the hollow of her chest until he face her again, lips brushing against hers delicately. “I’m so, so lucky to have you.”

Hyejin’s cheeks tinted red before she had to look away, feeling her heart beat loudly in her ribcage. “I’m lucky to have you, too,” she shyly whispered back, forcing her gaze on him, that was now laying on his stomach between her legs. “I love you so much, Nana.”

Jaemin’s sweet, full of love, smile was a weird contrast with the way his eyes were lustfully staring at her, big hands around her thighs to keep her spread. 

“I love you, too,” and much more were his sweet words before he sank down. His tongue lapped over her slit, licking up the fluids that slicked down before wrapping around her clit, sucking harshly, making her hand clench around the sheets, fighting the urge to grip his blond locks and push him further down. It wasn’t long before his movements got messier, suctioning just right to send sparks down her spine and leaving her a moaning mess, lips bitten inside of her teeth to push down the cries and hips rolling against him as the pleasure doubled inside of her. 

Jaemin thought he could do this forever as he pushed her knee up, burying himself even more between her legs, having a ball in the muffled, sensual whimpers rolling out of her lips and her shy hands now gripping tightly at the base of his neck. 

“Taste so good, babe,” he praised, eyes flickering up to meet hers, smirking when her body shuddered at the contact. 

She couldn’t hold back the louder moan as the orgasm built up, and the only thing that could keep quiet was his fingers inside her mouth, sucking as eagerly as he was. Her back arched just to be forced down again by Jaemin’s hand, pressing her against the mattress as he helped her ride the orgasm, tongue moving in swift motion until she couldn’t take it anymore, gasping for air and squirming away from his eager mouth. 

“Calm, babe, I’m done,” he giggled, chest rumbling as he stood up, cleaning his lips with a lick of his tongue. And then his broad body was hovering over hers again while her hand pumped his hard dick, feeling the tip tease against her wet entrance. 

A broken gasp left their lips as he pushed in slowly, savouring every inch sinking into her warm core. Even then, Jaemin took his sweet time before moving, bottoming down and kissing her face, making her chuckle. 

He now knew he had all the time to tell her how much he loved her, but for now, he was going to show it with acts. His hands searched for hers, locking them at the side of her head before he drove his hips back and forth, watching her eyes flutter shut. 

“Kiss me,” she begged, fucked-out, glossy eyes staring into his. “Please, kiss me.”

And Jaemin didn’t make her repeat again, softly placing his lips on hers in a needy, yet delicate kiss. It got messy after a while, but their lips kept coming back to each other, drowning out breathy moans, while their hips rolled perfectly together. 

And it didn’t take long before their orgasm approached, hips slamming quicker against each other, and hands letting go of the hold just to wrap in his hair and pull him even closer. 

“Gonna come,” was the only thing Hyejin could mumble before the pleasure go to her head, leaving her gasping and arching her back. 

“Shit,” Jaemin grunted, head falling against her shoulder as he kept moving, riding their orgasms and feeling his legs go weak. 

Other breathless curses were shared as they rolled to the side, chuckling and giggling as they tried to calm down, nothing but silence and their ragged breaths filling the air once they consumed their love. 

“Come live with me,” Jaemin breathed out, turning his head to meet her eyes, now wide in surprise. 

A hesitant chuckle left her lips. “With you? You want us to live together?” 

“Yeah,” he replied, shifting completely to face her, “I know you said we shouldn’t rush it, but… didn’t we already almost live together? Don’t we already do it?” 

Her lips parted as she tried to come up with a reply, but failed to do so, and simply hummed. 

“I don’t think it would be rushing it, I won’t even start demanding the cats,” he joked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “But… we could be on our own. I know you and Haechan are friends again, and he’s dating Zoya, but it’s still a bit weird. And sometimes I feel like I’m stealing in my own place.” 

“I mean, I really wouldn’t mind, I think we make a great team,” she said. “But… right now?” 

Jaemin shook his head. “No, not now, we can wait. We can start looking and then move next year, start brand new.” 

She sighed, repeating his words as her eyes looked on the white sheets. “Start brand new…” It was scary, everything she ever dreamed of, the stability of a safe place to call home with the person she loved, and yet, now that it seemed so real, so possible, it was terrifying. 

“I’ve got a stable job, two jobs considering I’m still taking care of Iseul occasionally, you probably will also get that job as a teacher but even if you don’t, you’ve found people that are interested in your art and they want to offer you something. I think these are good signs, we won’t be struggling, and honestly, I would live in a cave if it meant to be with you.” 

Hyejin chuckled, hiding her face in the pillow and shaking her head. “You’re so cheesy.” 

“But it’s the truth, I don’t care.” 

“Fine,” she sighed. “We can start thinking about it, but we’ll only move if you do get that job,” she said, “they said you’re on the list, not hired,” she reminded him, making him roll his eyes. 

“You have to manifest things into reality.” 

“You daydream, honey, one of us has to stay grounded,” she said. “But anyway, if you get the job, if I do get the job, if I get an exhibition, or if some art-bro decides to pay my debts for the next ten years buying my canvas. And if we stay strong at least until November.” 

Jaemin’s smile dropped upon hearing the last phrase. “You think we won’t last?” 

“I’m just saying, let’s make sure we are as strong as we think we are,” she reassured him, pouting. “Come on, you know we will last. Also, in the meantime, we could spend more time at my place. Yeri and Ningning are not home much.” 

“Fine, I’ll move in with you, thanks for asking,” he joked, tickling her. 

“God, you’re so annoying,” she huffed, head rolling back before their lips met in a kiss. 

The chats were loud in the living room as the group of friends couldn’t stop talking about more and less. 

Hyejin wasn’t paying much attention to any of it, holding tight her full glass as she leaned close to the window of Jaemin’s bedroom, looking outside, letting the chaos fade away. 

“I couldn’t find you,” the familiar voice that reached her ears made her smile before she looked to the side, meeting Haechan’s relaxed face. 

“Trying to find a calm place,” she explained before hinting behind with a move of her head, “they’re loud.” 

Her best friend chuckled, nodding weakly before he sat on the chair that was out of the balcony. “You look happy.” 

Hyejin followed him outside, letting the chill December air hit her as she wrapped tighter in her black coat. “I am.” 

“I know we already made it up, and we’re fine now, but… I still feel like I need to thank you,” Haechan said, rubbing his hands together to fight the cold. 

“Thank me? And for what?” 

Haechan shrugged. “For being braver than me. For always knowing what’s right. I don’t know, you let us go and that made us bloom. I hated you so much for that at the start, but now, it feels like everything is right where it’s supposed to be.” 

It wasn’t easy, but everything slowly started to find its place again. With slow steps at times, growing closer together only came natural to them. It would’ve been so easy if it wasn’t for Zoya and Jaemin that put up with their awkwardness at first and still cared enough to share moments together so they could patch up what broke.

“I’d say it was reckless, but I like brave, too,” she joked, smiling at him. 

Haechan chuckled, rolling his head back before taking a deep breath, clouds of white disappearing as his hot breath came in contact with the cold. “You didn’t give up on me,” he said. “I… I thought we were never going to have this back, and as much as I wanted to respect your decision, it would’ve torn me apart. And I don’t think I can explain with words how grateful I am, how happy it makes me that you still chose me, after everything, after all the pain, you still picked me. And you still love me like you did all your life.” 

Hyejin chuckled tenderly, ruffling his hair. “It’s kinda impossible to hate your other half. Also, I would have to kill you if we ever stopped being friends, but I don’t like the idea of going to jail.” 

Haechan laughed, squirming away from her teasing hands before their eyes met. Everything was there, in the comfortable silence around them, in their hearts still beating like when they were three, sitting on the swings, as they talked, and talked, unaware of how important they were going to be to one another. Now they knew, now they also knew where they belonged, and nothing seemed so scary anymore. 

“I’m glad you found Jaemin,” he confessed, staring at her bright, happy and relaxed face. “I already told him, but I was so jealous when you two would spend time together because I could see it so clearly I wasn’t able to love you the way he did, and I hated it. But… I couldn’t force myself either way.” 

“I think it’s better like this. I think… I think me and him really fit together. I don’t want to jinx it,” she chuckled, “I don’t want to think about the future, I just want to enjoy it, but I know we work out together, I know this is right,” she said, smiling. “Honestly, all of this finally feels right. You and Jaemin getting the jobs you worked so hard for, my art finally taking over, and having another exhibition in a month, Zoya being back with us, our love lives that flow with no problems, and you and me, always.” 

Haechan smiled. “Yeah, it feels like our efforts are paying off.” 

A moment of silence passed and then he went on. “You really don’t hate me for Zoya? I know you have Jaemin now, but… you don’t feel angry?” 

Hyejin exhaled. “Why would I? I’m not a teenage girl anymore, I’m a grown woman, and I’m just grateful you two have each other. I wouldn’t wish for either of you to be with anybody else. You were always meant to be, it was written in the stars, and you know it.” 

Haechan wanted to agree and be more enthusiastic about it, but it didn’t seem fair to him that to get back to Zoya, to find her again, he had to hurt Hyejin instead. Because just like she predicted, now he could see it clearly. “I didn’t use you, not intentionally, I truly thought we would work out, and I’m so sorry.”

“Stop it, Hyuck,” she said lightheartedly. “We’re fine, we truly are. You were vulnerable, I was dumb, and we were our worst selves. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to look at the past anymore, we have a beautiful, bright future in front of us, and that’s all that matters.” 

“Zoya’s right when she calls you the wisest one of the trio,” he said, “well, quartet, now.” 

Hyejin laughed, resting her head on the wall before taking a deep breath. “Life is so weird,” she whispered, “and unfair, I’d add.”  

“It is.”

“Why does it have to be so complicated? It could’ve been so easy if Zoya never left, if Jaemin came into my life differently. It would’ve saved us all some suffering.”

“I hate it, too, but I fool myself into thinking that if things went differently, we wouldn’t be here today,” he replied, finally pushing his hands in the pockets of his jacket, giving up trying to keep them hot outside. 

“You still do that,” she chuckled, pointing at his hands. 

“Oh, please, leave me alone,” he huffed, pouting. “Can I confess something?”

“You had a fight with gloves and lost so now you can’t wear them anymore?”

“No, idiot,” he said, pushing her away with a hit of his shoulder, making her laugh. “Jaemin wasn’t supposed to come back here.”

“What?” she asked, eyes wide in surprise. 

“When he was talking about moving, his first choice was Europe. He wanted to try something else, change his life completely. Seoul wasn’t even in his top 10.”

“Oh my god... are you kidding me?”

“I wish I was.”

“And how did he come here?”

“I asked him to,” he confessed, “well, begged him.”

“Begged him?”

“It wasn’t so humiliating, I was just trying to show him that he should’ve learned yet another language to live in France, Italy, or Germany, and then...yeah...”

“Yeah...? That’s all you have to say? He could’ve gone to England. He speaks English.”

“He wanted to... he even wanted to go to Tokyo.”

“And yet, he’s here... why?”

Haechan sighed, taking a deep breath, meeting her eyes. “I missed him,” he breathed out. “I needed a friend, and I know he needed one too. We would always talk about meeting again every summer and then we never would, and... I needed him. I have lots of friends but, do you know when you just feel like something is missing? That’s what I felt. Also, I think a part of me didn't want to deal with thousands of texts about him learning Spanish or Thai through Duolingo or 240p quality series on youtube.”

Hyejin laughed, shaking her head. “I think he’s still learning something on Duolingo, I hear that beep every now and then when he comes over, late in the evening because he has forgotten to do his lessons.” 

Haechan laughed. “Maybe he’ll take you to Madrid, or Hamburg.”     

“To live there?” she whispered. 

Haechan shrugged. “He’s crazy, so brace yourself, anything could happen with him.”  

Hyejined laughed, holding herself tighter. “So you’re the reason he’s here.”

“Yeah, but what I’m saying is... there was no other way for things to go. He wouldn’t be here now, he would be on the other side of the world and you would know him as the Skype friend, or the crazy guy that thought dropping everything to live in a peasized country in Tuscany without speaking the language was a great idea, but he wouldn’t be yours. He wouldn’t be your Jaemin, just another anonymous face. And God knows what would’ve been of us, living in a lie, and losing ourselves thinking of still having each other.”

Hyejin hummed, resting her head against his shoulder, arms intertwining with his. “It was supposed to end like this,” Hyejin said, “and I’m glad it did. If you never bleed, you can’t grow, right?”

“Right,” he smiled. “Now let’s hope we can just exist for a while.”

“We will, it looks so bright ahead of us, Hyuck. We climbed a thousand mountains together, I’m sure no obstacle is big enough to shut us down.”     

The house started emptying, and as the night deepened, they were the only ones left in that place, trying to clean up the most and leave the rest for the morning to come. 

“So, I think it’s time to go,” Hyejin said, eyeing the clock, bringing everyone’s attention to her. 

“Already?” Jaemin asked, feeling he didn’t spend too much time together. Not true at all considering they were clingy and were always standing side by side, but since there were other friends over they didn’t have a lot of one-on-one time. “Want me to drop you off?” 

“No, it’s alright, I came with my car,” she replied. 

“Why don’t you stay?” Haechan proposed, walking to the side, showing himself behind Jaemin, Zoya standing behind him. “It’s late, and we could watch a movie before going to bed. It wouldn’t be the first time, right? Well, the first time with Jaemin, and the first time where… everything is right, but, it’s still the same?” 

Hyejin smiled, looking around, meeting Jaemin’s big smile and his subtle — not so subtle — bouncing on the spot, and then Zoya’s eyes. 

“Hyuck’s right, you should stay. We can have a small celebration on our own, nobody has to work tomorrow anyway.” 

“I agree,” Jaemin added. “We’re better when we’re four.” 

“Fine,” Hyejin gave up. “You didn’t need to do all this to convince me, driving at this hour of the night was the last thing I wanted, but I appreciate being wanted,” she joked before dropping her bag right where it was before and slipping out of her shoes. 

“Come with me, we’ll get some drinks while they pick a movie,” Zoya said, grabbing her hand and dragging her into the kitchen. 

While they were busy picking something, Zoya talked. 

“I’m so glad that we’re back, stronger than before,” she said. “I think I will never thank you enough for everything.”

Hyejin giggled, “Haechan said the same thing, you two really are connected.” 

Zoya chuckled, pulling some cans out of the fridge before resting against the countertop, watching Hyejin search for the food. “When you and Haechan broke up I feared something broke forever, and I hated it because not only do I think something as beautiful as what you two share should last forever, but also because I didn’t want to be forced to pick between one of you again. I did that when I was a stupid teenager, but doing it right now would’ve hurt me, a lot.” 

“Thank god we’re not stupid teenagers anymore, right?” 

“Right,” she replied, smiling. “And you’re wearing the top I crocheted you,” she added, not able to hold back the proud smile as her eyes skimmed over her friend’s body. 

Hyejin smiled back, 

“Of course I am. Did you think I would throw it in the closet and leave it to rot?”

“I don’t know, not everyone likes those things,” she said. 

“I’m not everyone,” she said, “And I told you I love it, it’s soft and fits me perfectly. I might need another one, you know?”

“For the summer, I’m trying to crochet a hat for Haechan and... it’s messy,” she snorted, making Hyejin laugh. 

“You should teach me, I’ve always wanted to learn but never did.”

“Fine by me, but only if you teach me how to draw,” Zoya said, reaching her hand out. 

Hyejin shrugged, shaking her hand. “Deal?”

“Deal.”  

“Hey! You two are lost? The fridge ate you?” Haechan screamed from the living room, making them laugh and walk out of the room after one last smile. 

“We’re alive,” Zoya shouted. 

“You won’t get rid of us that easily,” Hyejin added, slumping on the couch next to Jaemin, kissing his lips softly. 

“It’s a movie we’ve never seen before,” Haechan said, fixing the pillows and making space for Zoya to sit next to him. 

“So if it sucks it’s not our fault,” Jaemin defended. 

“Stop stealing my food,” Hyejin screamed, slapping Haechan’s hand away halfway through the movie. 

“I wasn’t stealing,” he defended. 

“Your hand in my bowl says otherwise,” she groaned. 

“If we want to be honest, it’s my bowl, I paid for it,” he retorted, sticking his tongue out. 

Hyejin scoffed. “You’re such a child. And steal food from your girlfriend, leave me alo— Jaemin!” She screamed, turning to the right when her boyfriend sneaked his hand in her bowl. “Zoya, say something!” 

“What? That we’re surrounded by thieves?” 

“It wasn’t stealing, it was borrowing,” Jaemin defended, shrugging. 

“Right, it’s sharing,” Haechan added, leaning forward to high-five Jaemin.

“You two need to be kept far away from each other,” Hyejin said, pushing Jaemin away until he reached the armrest of the sofa. 

“That won’t stop me from reaching your bowl,” Jaemin chuckled. 

Hyejin rolled her eyes. “If it’s you it’s fine.” 

“Excuse me?” Haechan gasped offended. “What about me?” 

“You can starve,” she replied. “Also, your bowl is full.” 

“It’s a different flavour,” he pouted before leaning into Zoya’s ear and whispering something. 

“I won’t ask her for her food to give it to you,” Zoya said out loud, chuckling, making Hyejin laugh at Haechan’s face. 

“You traitor!” he gasped. “I’m surrounded by snakes, fine.” 

“We can share,” Jaemin said, handing him his bowl. 

“This is not the one I want,” he fake-cried. 

Hyejin laughed, moving closer again, dragging Jaemin with her. “Here, pain in the ass, you can have some.” 

Haechan smiled content. “See, I don’t need you,” he stuck his tongue out toward Zoya. “I mean, I do, not for this, though,” he added, making her laugh as she shook her head. “Love you,” he said to Hyejin before taking the chips. 

Hyejin let out a light-hearted scoff and rolled her eyes, leaning her head against Jaemin, “You can have them too, obviously.” 

“I know, I don’t even have to ask”, he joked. 

When the movie almost came to an end, Zoya was already sleeping against Haechan’s shoulder, and Jaemin was laying with his head on Hyejin’s lap, not sleeping yet, but dozed off enough that Hyejin was sure he missed half of the conversations and plot.

And she and Haechan were still awake, paying attention to the screen as they occasionally made jokes about the movie. 

Everything about this felt oddly familiar and warm. It felt right, everything had found its place, everything was going down the right road. 

And right at that moment, when Haechan laughed louder than usual, making Zoya and Jaemin groan, Hyejin realized she had finally found the peace she didn’t even know she needed this much one year ago. 

It truly sunk in that this was what she and Haechan were supposed to be, always each other Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, something destined to stay a beautiful friendship and an impossible love story, something that probably would’ve been real in another land, Neverland, a place that only exists in the wildest imagination, but it still didn’t make it any less special. They would’ve always been there for each other, simply not in the way they imagined. 

But in this fairytale called real life, her prince was someone else; a cat lover with dyed blonde hair that fit him so well they looked natural, with a contagious laugh and words too honest to don’t cut like a knife and yet heal like magic. In this fairytale, she also found a close friend again, someone she should’ve learned how to love years ago, someone that she shouldn’t have painted as a villain. And most importantly, she still had her best by her side.

This was going to be just the start of a new life, but of one thing she was sure; no matter how hard life would’ve gotten, or where it would’ve led them, they would’ve always found a way back to each other, a way to find a glimpse of each other. 

— 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 —

“You didn’t start annoying me when November passed,” Hyejin whispered in the quiet of the night, tracing circles on Jaemin’s exposed chest. The smell of sex was still lingering in the air as they let their bodies cool down. 

“You wanted me to?” 

Hyejin chuckled, “Yeah… I didn’t want to be the first one to bring up moving together. You know, this time is real.” 

“I didn’t want to pressure you,” he confessed, tightening the hold around her waist a bit more. “I can’t stand living with Haechan anymore, but I don’t mind crashing at your place… like right now.” 

Hyejin laughed, turning around, chest pressing against the mattress as she stared at him through her messy bangs. “I want to go live together,” she said. “I want the cats, and… I might have a surprise for you.” 

Jaemin’s eyes widened, sitting up straight. “You scare me.” 

“I know, but it’s almost Christmas, and I could put that under the tree… but no, I really can’t, because we don’t have time to wait for that.” 

His eyes widened even more, heart racing. “Just tell me what it is.” 

“This,” she said, handing him her phone opened on the gallery. “I might’ve blocked a cheap offer on the other side of town, close to your kindergarten kinda, and to what might be my school next year, if they keep their promise.” 

“Oh my god,” he gasped, finger running on the screen as he scrolled down the pictures of the small house. 

“It’s falling apart, I know, that’s why it’s cheap. But it’s nice, and the landlord is a sweet lady, she loves us already. Okay, she’s Iseul’s grandmother, and Iseul might’ve talked about us in a very romanticized way but it doesn’t matter because she said we can do whatever we want with it, and she won’t annoy us, and yes, we need to fix it, but —” 

Jaemin shut her up with a kiss, cupping her cheeks to pull her closer. “Yes, a million times yes,” he exclaimed. “I love it,” he said, eyes sparkling as he stared into hers. “I love you.” 

Hyejin’s smile grew even bigger, feeling a bit of anxiety leaving her stomach after seeing him so excited. “I still think it’s scary, but as much as I love the girls, I need my spaces and my own place. But I can’t really afford it alone, and, oops, you seem like a fitting choice for a roommate.” 

Jaemin laughed before turning serious, “Call me your roommate again and you’ll have to fix that house on your own,” he joked. “No, but seriously, it’s so pretty. And it even has a small garden.” 

“Yeah, it was pure luck, a few weeks ago when you were talking with Iseul’s parents, and her grandma was there, it just slipped out of my mouth because Iseul draw cats and I thought of what you told me, and then her grandma offered it to me. She could wait a bit more but you know Iseul’s mother, and also… I really think we need our space. And we can’t make our memories at Haechan’s or even here…” 

“You know I’m fine with this. The one that wasn’t sure about this big step was you.” 

“Because I always dreamed of this but the other person never gave me signs of wanting it to be a reality, so my delusions, were just delusions. But my delusions with you become scary, big steps to take,” she explained, her tone was lighthearted but he could feel the lingering fear behind it. “And I love it. Because we’re on the same track, I just need to get used to it. You know… no more fighting for what I want because you’re already holding my hand and we’re doing it.” 

Jaemin’s smile grew big on his face. “Good to know we have each other to back us up with our crazy ideas,” he said, pulling her in for another kiss. 

She giggled against his lips, hands slipping in his locks before they fell on the bed again. 

“Why are you smiling like this?” Hyejin asked, getting lost in his pretty features, his cheekbones, his long lashes and that smile that threw her stomach upside down. 

“I... I was just thinking that all of this... is surreal,” he explained, gulping and turning to her. “I dreamed of you every day and night just a few months ago and now...” he sighed, smile growing bigger, making it impossible to talk, “now you’re mine, and I’m yours. And you just asked me to move in together. I used to think I would’ve moved out because I couldn’t stand seeing you in that situation and now, I’m moving out with you.”

Hyejin didn’t reply right away, her eyes were fixed on his, taking him in, letting her mind wander back when their story started. “It was in the eggs.”

Jaemin chuckled, shaking his head before rubbing a hand on his face. 

“What? You gave me a heart attack that day and destiny decided to punish you with me forever,” she said, batting her lashes and making a heart with her hands under her chin. 

“Oh, damn, forever with you is my punishment? Oh, no, Lord, save me, I can’t live like this,” he joked, pretending to be heartbroken. 

“Idiot,” Hyejin said, pushing him away. “No, don’t tickle me,” she yelled when his hands reached her waist and started moving on her, ending up in a tangled mess with the sheets as they both started to laugh and tickle each other. 

“Shut the hell up, I’m trying to sleep,” Yeri screamed, slamming the door open and staring down at them. “I closed an eye for the sex because, Lord, do I wish to be in your place and I’d love for you to do the same when my turn will finally come, but this lovers bullshit is where I draw the line.”

They both quickly covered themselves, giggling under their teeth as they tried to keep a straight face and nod. 

“Sorry, Yeri,” Jaemin apologized first, nudging Hyejin to do the same. 

“Yeah, sorry, won't happen again,” she said, smiling at her. 

“Good,” Yeri sighed, before glaring at them, “because if I have to get up and come here again, I’ll kill you.”

Hyejin and Jaemin broke into a silent laugh when she closed the door behind her, falling on the mattress and trying to muffle the sounds with the sheets and then staring at each other’s faces with lips pursed to don’t get murdered by her roommate, only calming down after a minute and then Jaemin broke the silence. 

“We’re calling Iseul’s grandmother tomorrow.”

© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @smwhirnthehaze ; @liliansun ; @moonstar127 ; @novawon ; @neosdaisy ; @automarktic ; @dullparadisewithtxt ; @hiqhkey ; @totallynotlisa ; @nimimimini | comment under the masterlist to be added | general taglist: @froggyforyoongi , @wingsss45 ; @tddyhyck

[public-trans-it-deactivated20240]

Proper noun: Ceetee Pronouns: It/Its* Common nouns: Girlthing, Tranny, Doll Adjectives: Trans, Mixed-Race, Aegosexual, Polyamorous, Plural Verbs: Game Design, Shitposting, Flirting

🖋 Last edited: 5/20/24

Unreasonably proud of that stupid grammar joke. Anyway yes, I'm Ceetee. While I am plural, I try to avoid the use of first person plural pronouns, except when we are specifically talking about our experiences with DID/Plurality. We also do our best to conceal who is fronting at all times (you can read more about that in the links about gender and plurality at the bottom of this post).

I'm a dork with very VERY strong opinions that I am VERY VERY vocal about. If you do not share those opinions, that is perfectly fine and probably to be expected. Just know that I am very obnoxious about them, so you will see them a lot. I have a lot of confidence on my stances and it is very unearned! That said I'm always happy to actually discuss this stuff, and also perfectly understanding of people unfollowing over it! Never feel like you HAVE to follow me for whatever obligation. Curate your feed, damn it!

For the pronoun exceptions mentioned above, It/Its are my pronouns for most people. If you aren't willing to call me that, well, I can't stop you. Use whatever you want, but I will absolutely be judging you for it. Though there are some exceptions. For people I'm intimate with (Romantic partners and people I'm in a QPR with), my pronouns are It/She. If you work for my HRT clinic my pronouns are She/Her because like fuck am I risking my HRT just because my doctor doesn't understand my gender. If you are a coworker my pronouns are He/Him and also I don't have a tumblr, please block me immediately, for both of our sakes.

I have a NSFW sideblog. You can probably guess its name pretty easily. If you can't, I'm happy to give it to anyone brave enough to DM me or send me an ask off anon. In fact, you can ask me basically anything about my life and I'll happily answer. I'm a pretty open book like that.

Rambles

I tend to ramble about various things. Usually when I do, I tag it as #text essay. Sometimes about gender and my views on it, but also just... stuff in general. Here is a list of some of the general stuff. Its usually just stupid pointless stuff, but its a good look into how my brain works.

The Darkspore Rant (Long)

Pokemon Picross Monetization Model

Movement in VR

Time is Fake as Hell

Fighters Should Have Magic

Where I Stand in Regards to AI Art

Identity stuff:

Bespoke Genders (Part 1)

On Detransition (Part 2)

Plurality (Part 2.5)

Plurality and Being Transgender (Part 3)

Fandom shit:

Pokemon Eggs, and the Fundamental Nature of the Pokemon Multiverse (Long)

List of FFXIV OCs (LONG. Its also a recap of 4 years of weekly FC RP)

Posts others have made but are very relevant to me and who I am:

Back When I Was A Boy (Not every trans femme used to be a boy, but I did and that is important to me)

The Scorpion and The Frog (I desperately need to get a tattoo of a scorpion and a frog. I can't read this without crying)

Tags

#text essay - As mentioned above, I use this for when my rambles go very very very long. The ones I like the most or feel are important enough I also add to this pinned.

#Zenos ♥ - For the FFXIV Character that I am super normal about (lying).

#dnd hate train - A tag that exists for blacklisting purposes at the request of a close friend. As a designer, I fucking HATE Dungeons and Dragons. I hate it a lot. And I talk a lot about how much I hate it.

#laugh rule - For that age old tumblr rule: "If it makes you actually genuinely Laugh Out Loud, you have to reblog it."

#peer reviewed tags - another, more modern tumblr rule. If I screenshot someones tags to share them, I add this tag to it.

#dudes rock - Essentially, just a bunch of guys doing stuff that is just 'boys being boys' in the fun sense and not the rapey sense, but also just a reminder that the world is better with these dudes in it, and a way for me to find happiness is the masculinity that made my childhood miserable.

#partner gushing - For when I am being GAY AS HELL about my partners, or reblogging something and going 'its because of one of them'

#talking to myself and #talking about myself - Conversations between me and my alters, and talking about my relationships with my alters, respectively. More details here.

I also just... ramble in the tags. A lot. I just add so much commentary in the tags. You will see A LOT of rambles.

[asymmetricallyanxious]

So! Since some people are clearly INCREDIBLY dense, let me make myself perfectly clear. If you are buying that game, I do not like you and you deserve to feel any and all guilt that decision brings you. :)

I do not condone death threats or any other harassment or hateful/violent speech towards any human being. However,,, letting someone know they are actively causing harm and by knowingly doing so have lost my respect and any trust/validity in my eyes is NOT harassment. It is simple fact.

I personally have never gone into anyone’s comments/reblogs/replies/etc. and shamed anyone. Ever. However… this is my blog and I hope all of you buying this racist bullcrap feel shamed and ashamed of yourself. I hope your experience with it is terrible. I hope you take one look at that disgusting excuse of a “plot” and vomit. I hope you learn from your mistakes and do better.

But if you don’t… you do not deserve my respect. It’s very simple. I feel like a lot of people have said this in much more descriptive terms than me, and I’m not looking to engage in discourse, so I’m not going to attempt to change your mind. I will say that if you are thinking of buying this game, and you’re feeling guilty? Good. You should feel guilty.

We are not children anymore. I would hope for everyone’s sake that we have grown the capacity for compassion and love of human beings. I would hope we have all learned to think critically and use kindness. But if you haven’t… you should do some self reflection, because blaming trans people for your guilt over a nasty decision YOU MADE is NOT OKAY.

I personally don’t care if you disagree. I personally don’t care if you’re an ignorant misogynistic racist transphobe. But DO NOT claim to be an ally and disregard it when it’s convenient to you. You do not get to spit in my face and tell me it’s raining. Shut the fuck up and go be a bigot elsewhere.

If you disagree do not argue with me… you will be blocked immediately and I will move on with my life secure in the knowledge that my worldview is not based on insecurity and vile hatred. I am actively working on being a mindful of others as I can. This does not make me weak or soft or stupid or whatever the fuck. This makes me actively stronger and smarter than any terf has ever been.

I will be blocking anyone who comments/replies/reblogs any stupid ass comments. If anyone wants to add their rants on this post feel free. I’m tired of this shit. I’m angry. It’s okay to be angry about other peoples harmful behavior. It’s okay to call them out. It’s also okay to block them when you get overwhelmed or sad at the state of this shitty world. I highly suggest playing the block game with any terf/idiot in the replies/reblogs. It’ll help you to just slap a ban hammer on them and move on. You will live rent free in their minds knowing they took time out of their day to reply and you didn’t bother responding. And you can move on and never think of them again!!

Anyway, to any of the many people being harmed by Rowling and her nasty terf cult. I love you. You’re allowed to be upset, but just remember this is ignorance and insecurity. None of this is your fault and you are beautiful. We are beautiful. Have a beautiful day lovelies! 💜

[jellybeanium124]

stupid rant about the rat man drama below. extremely serious neutral perspective. I'm kind of scared to post this because I'm worried that people will get mad at me tbh... the tldr is I hate drama (unsurprisingly).

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that the ofmd fandom is a middle school cafeteria. Because, of course, all fandoms are middle school cafeterias, just with varying levels of screaming.

There are kind of three camps, actually, in the ofmd fandom, but everyone thinks there's two: Izzy Enjoyers and Haters. The Haters do seem to be pretty much one cohesive unit (save for the Stede anon who is off the shits and no one likes), but the Enjoyers are actually kind of split in two, based on my own observations. There are Enjoyers who understand that Izzy is a bastard failure pathetic rat man and antagonist, and with this knowledge choose to enjoy him anyways. And then there are Enjoyers who do not understand this and think he's a competent badass. I'll call the former 1s and the latter 2s.

Haters and 1s tend to generally be content to sit at their own tables and talk to their friends and mind their own business. I think these two groups are generally aware that their differences are basically irreconcilable due to the climate, and that ignoring the other is the best outcome. 1s don't leave their tables. They don't want to leave their tables. They want to sexualize that old man in peace, and recognize that not everyone wants to sexualize that old man.

2s, however, do leave their tables. They go over to the Haters and yell at them about stupid fucking nonsense and create a lot of surrus because they do not see that Izzy is like... a bad guy. This makes Haters rightfully angry, but that anger is usually directed at both 1s and 2s because from the outside they do look the same. This makes 1s upset because they've been minding their own fucking business and don't even know who that clown is that started it all, so now they're in on the fight. Thus the cycle of balderdash continues. It makes me angry because some stupid naive part of me wishes everyone could be friends, or at least for the drama to end and everyone to actually commit to either ignoring each other or just being civil.

This will never happen. 1s don't tend to be down to discuss how Izzy's actions are racist and homophobic on the level that Haters want. 1s and Haters are kind of similar, except, generally speaking, 1s watched the show and prioritized Dumb Fun, while Haters watched the show and prioritized Critical Thought. I think there are a lot of complicated factors that go into why a person would pick one over the other, because there is nothing wrong with Dumb Fun or Critical Thought, and ofmd lends itself well to both.

Also, most 1s I know don't tend to be creating content where Ed is an abusive monster. Usually 1s live in a world where they want Izzy to get better and let go of his toxicity, thereby creating an environment where Ed and Izzy can heal their relationship and both of them and Stede can have lots of narsty gay sex and be soft together.

And then there are the 2s, who I don't see changing their minds any time soon because they are very mad, and very mad people who refuse to acknowledge bigotry tend to not change their minds when internet strangers are disagree with them. I do not know any people in the 2 camp personally (all my observation of them has been through when Haters reblog and counter their posts), so my prediction there is mostly based off of common patterns of human behavior.

I don't really have a solution here. I'm not completely clear on the relationship between 1s and 2s, but there is definitely some allyship. There is also some "I'm not one of those izzy fans" at 1 tables as well. Because of the general perception of Haters v. Enjoyers, 1s and 2s are inevitably going to be linked, both in their own minds and the minds of Haters. Should Haters and 1s even attempt allyship? Could we live in a world where it's People Who Understand Izzy Sucks versus People Who Don't? I don't think it's possible, frankly. Many Haters are far too against or squicked out by edizzy/stizzy/stedyhands.

I suppose the lack of closure or a clear path is part of what makes me angry. I've made these observations, and now I've recorded them for posterity in this post, and it's all utterly pointless. The drama will last for as long as it does, season 2 will inspire new drama, and eventually the show will end and the fandom will shrink and the attention whores who get off on riling everyone up will move on to bigger fandoms. New middle school cafeterias. And I will continue to be worried that my chaotic neutral (or serious neutral) izzyposting will get me harassed or worse.

[melaninenthusiasts]

Maldonia | Prince Naveen

Prince Naveen x black reader

"We are never doing this again," I say as I finished getting dressed at the foot of Naveen's bed now sliding the remaining of my dress down.

I don't know how we even got here.

Well, let me re- phrase that:

I know exactly how this how we got here.

A typical drunken night of passion on the night of Maldonia's Independence Day. We were at a party and there we're drinks. Lots and lots of drinks.

And he was just there with that gorgeous brown skin and pretty long eyelashes and charming accent just tempting me to go there with him.

Naveen chuckled to himself at my statement. "You said that after the first round and the second" he licked his lips. "And the third"

I slipped back on my heels. "Well, I mean it this time," I say looking back at him deep into his eyes.

That sexy smirk on his face rose again.

"Wanna go another before we make that official before I go?" He suggested to me.

Wow, I really forgot he was leaving.

I chuckled to myself. "No"

This man is so cocky.

"C'mon, it'll be like goodbye sex. You know I'm leaving for New Orleans."

"To find you a privileged princess," I smirked.

"Ha ha, very funny" he says watching me get dressed. He just layed there in the large bed half naked.

"One day your gonna find a woman who's gonna make your work for love" I say to him and he listens. "Not me though, that shit would be exhausting." I add.

"I'm Prince Naveen of Maldonia. I never work for anything. Women practically drop their panties at the sight of me. Kind of like you did last night."that sexy smirk rises on his face again.

I playfully rolled my eyes at him.

That got me thinking about last night and how everything went down.

There I was at the Independence Day party with my two bestfriends having fun until they ditched me to dance with some guys.

There were our traditional Maldonia colors everywhere. In confetti, people's attire, and of course the drinks. Peach and purple with the Maldonian castle on the flag.

As of now, I was at the bar sipping my Maldonia Martini that was a peach Crown Royal with purple crystals on the outside.

I just wanted to hang with my girls but I guess plans change.

"Another round of shots!" The life of the party, Naveen orders the employees behind the bar.

"Hey, Ria. Enjoying the party?" He looks over to me with a kind smile.

He had just came from being danced on by some women on the dance floor. He's what you call a Ladies' Man.

"The name is Aria, we're not in academy anymore. " I snap stirring my drink.

"Oh okay, my bad" he throws his hands up in defense.

We have known eachother for as long as I can remember. We went to academy together and our families are pretty close-like weekly family dinners close. Ever since his parents cut him off, Naveen has been searching for his Princess Charming. He knows that I don't have the amount of dough of his liking. I dodged that bullet with him. He wouldn't dare do that to me anyway. Whoever he plans to marry for money is their problem.

That's why today he is having his last hoorah for good times sake before he jets off to America—New Orleans.

I was apart of the few people in his circle that new of this. He will be missed-even with his slightly conceited, spolied-self.

"You know Navé, Im gonna miss you Navé. Underneath all of the glitter and gold, there's a nice,kind man." I say to him and he smiles at me.

"I guess I deserve that for calling you by your nickname. I'm gonna miss you too." He says.

"I know your friends ditched you but why are you not out dancing?" He asks. "Let me be your wingman. " Navé says and I shake my head no

"C'mon Ria, you gotta loosen up. There's plenty of guys out here for you to mingle with," Naveen says to me as he waits for his drink beside me at the bar. He was so busy ranting to me that he forgot that he was waiting for a drink. He's a prince, he never does that. Naveen gets what he wants when he wants it. That's just how it is with him.

"Wait, why am I waiting?" He says to himself causing to laugh at him. "What a man got to get another round of shots around here!" Naveen yelled loudly at the bartender.

I laughed at how irritated he was getting on waiting for his drinks. Unlike his usual V.I.P treatment in clubs and venues, this was already an exclusive party. So everyone basically got treated the same.

"Round of shots for the Prince!"the mixer fixed his shots to his liking.

"So what happened to Brandon?" He asks me referring to my ex. Naveen and I haven't seen eachother in a while so we were catching up.

"Brandon," I corrected him. "And he cheated. It's whatever."

"Are you serious? If I ever see him I'll-" he started to get mad. "How could he do that to you? You're gorgeous, sexy, and kind of nice" I chuckled playfully hitting him at that last part.

"But seriously...how?" He scoffs to himself in frustration.

"Here," Naveen passes me the Maldonian alcohol in the shot glass.

"To my last hoorah and getting you a night of passion," he says before linking arms with me as we both through our heads back taking the shots. I immediately felt the burn go to my throat. We unhooked arms.

"Woo!" Naveen exclaims in excitement.

"So, how you feeling about leaving?" I ask him.

"You know, I'm actually kind of scared. I've been here my entire life and never been on my own before. It's about damn time." He says admittedly.

"But I'm hella excited for New Orleans. The culture, the scenery, the music. I just need a new environment."

"I get that. But you'll be fine. Just do whatever your heart tells you."

Before I knew it, we talked some more and he helped me muster the courage to dance with someone as he did the same. I was on the dancefloor grinding my hips on a man I had just met.

Naveen locked eyes with me as he looked unamused by the girl grinding on him. The stunning woman felt all on his body pushing herself onto him but all he could do was gaze at me.

The man I was still dancing on hugged my waist squeezing me tightly as we motioned to the rhythm of the music.

Once we both then switched partners to dance with eachother.

"Let's go," I pull him closer to whisper in his ear. His lingering eyes gaze deep into mines in desire. I then took his hand leading us out of the party.

_______

"I-I'm gonna do you soo hard," I slur out to him tugging his shirt closer to me. I chuckle drunkenly and started nibbling on ear. Sending teasing pecks on his jawline, I felt a smile rise on his face.

"Fucking would be nice, eh?" He says to me with that charming accent.

His hands trail from my waist to my ass squeezing it passionately. My lips gravitated to his getting lost in them. The kisses grew from being innocent to sloppy.

We were now the leaning against the wall of the private elevator of his Royal Suite. We had entire suite to ourselves. And I was going to make sure to christen all of the rooms.

I got excited as we were rising up to our floor. Sticking my tongue down his throat with my arms around his neck, Naveen picked me up to wrap my legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss,he managed to unlock the door.

We were now in the spacious white livingroom area accented with golden decorations. I threw my head back as Navé sent teasing pecks all throughout my neck.

"Are you ready for this?" He murmurs as his lips brushes against the skin of my neck.

"I should be asking you that question" I say I he lays us on the couch.

______

We got a little hunger after the first round. Here we were in the kitchen area looking for something to snack on.

With nothing but Naveen's white button down and a pair of lace panties on, I searched in the large refrigerator for a snack.

Naveen comes over behind me shirtless with his arms wrapped around me. He started sending teasing pecks on my neck.

I then grabbed the bowl of strawberries to take a bite of one. He then ate the remaining of it from my hand.

He then let go of me to grab a few things as I sat on the wide kitchen counter.

I continued eating strawberries as ge turned around with a few things in his hands. Whipped cream, honey, and chocolate syrup.

"For the strawberries, " he says and I chuckle. Naveen makes his way over to me standing in between my legs.

I grab the spray can of whipped cream and eat some. I nod my hand at how good it was.

Naveen then takes the can.

After spraying a bit of whipped cream on my neck, he licks it off.

I giggled at the sensation.

"You like that?" His eyes lingered in mines.

"Yeah," I smiled.

Naveen then snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Can I atleast get a goodbye kiss?" Navé asks. "One for the road?" He pouts his lips. I couldn't help but eye his built physique.

This man is so greedy I swear.

I roll my eyes making my way over to him sitting down on the bed. I gravitate my lips towards his once again feeling his soft touch. His tongue waved it's way down my throat and I couldn't seem to break the kiss. His hand felt on my thigh urging me to go there again.

"Okay, maybe this one last time," I chuckle to myself.

"Arania" he said before I could leave. I looked over to him. "Yes, Navé?"

"You we're the one who got away. How did I loose you?" He asked me and I had no words.

Hearing him say that was everything but it wasn't enough for us to be anything. We both knew that.

Lost for words, I just shrugged. "I don't know" I say.

"Have fun in New Orleans. And remember what I said." I say before exiting his spacious bedroom suite.

THE END

comment and reblog🖤

[dazenightmare]

I JUST HAD AN IDEA: okay, so there was another parking lot wedding and it was Ranboo and Tubbo’s. They jokingly told SBI they were getting married and SBI went “oh shit, okay” and they actually planned out a parking lot wedding. The rings were ring pops -Sleepy (this is my birthday gift to you, I would draw you something but I got art block so this is all your getting, sorry)

BRO I WAS ABOUT TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE MY BRAIN TURNED ON AND LIKE, IN MY HEAD I WAS LIKE “THEY’D PROBABLY HAVE SOMETHING THAT LASTS LONGER AND THEY CAN KEEP FOREVER, RIGHT?? WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE??” AND THEN MY MIND FLICKED OVER TO THE VALENTINES DAY RANT AND DUDE

I REMEMBERED I GAVE THEM MATCHING GLOW IN THE DARK RINGS, AND SLEEPY I SWEAR TO GOD I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE TO JUST REBLOGGING THAT POST AND @-ing YOU ABOUT THE ASK BEFORE ANSWERING IT LIKE HHHHHHHH

*clears throat* Anyways, freaking out aside, time to, y’know, properly answer this

Ranboo actually proposed with a ring pop after Tubbo helped him get MICHAEL, and they were dead serious about it as they walked around town with ring pops as engagement rings. When they saw glow in the dark rings as prizes in the arcade later on, they just looked at each other and decided these were The Rings™️

So they throw out the ring pop ones and wear the glow in the dark rings, officially declaring themselves husbands

It takes a couple weeks before one of the staff at the store notices the rings. Naturally it’s Niki, who asks about it as she watches Ranboo carefully put it in his pocket before baking. She has to hold back an aw at Ranboo’s dead serious expression as he explained

After asking about it more, she decides they should have a “proper” ceremony, and they radio Tubbo over to talk about it before deciding yes, they were doing this

Of course, when Ranboo talks about getting Philza’s blessing, Tubbo’s like “remember when my brothers attacked you, like, two weeks ago?? And like, when dad came home he praised them??” “... oh.”

So they decide they didn’t need to tell SBI, for the sake of Ranboo’s safety, and continue arranging everything. It was hard since SBI somewhat had major roles in the store’s weddings, especially when it comes to the fact they’re Tubbo’s family, but they make do

Niki bakes a cake, clothing department comes in clutch and gets the dress and suit from the clearance aisle, Fundy has put the glow in the dark rings in a proper ring box and got more ring pops for engagement rings, and Puffy decorates. Since they didn’t have Wilbur, they called in Father Fragrance to be the priest, and now they have free catering from the Chuckle Sandwich shop.

Day of the wedding comes, and Drista heelies down the aisle in style, chucking bundles of flowers in the air. After is Karl and Dream escorting Tubbo down the aisle on either side, on the verge of tears because they’ve known Tubbo longer than his family has and fuck he was about to get married!!

Meanwhile in the store SBI are just walking around looking for everyone, confused. After a while George starts running through the store in a suit looking panicked. They manage to stop him and ask what’s happening, and George is like “I’M FUCKING LATE FOR RANBOO AND TUBBO’S WEDDING I GOTTA GO!!”

And immediately SBI just darkly are like “what.” And George stared at them with the dawning realization that he has accidentally ruined another wedding

Back at the alter Lani walks up with the ring box, presenting thy rings. And after a bit they’re finally at the “I do’s”, but before either of them could say it they just hear screaming, and everyone looks over to see SBI riding in a shopping cart like a pirate ship, with Philza pushing the cart quickly, Techno in the front duel wielding swords -and his hair wasn’t in a braid?? What??- Wilbur behind him aggressively playing the Pirates of the Caribbean theme on guitar and harmonica, and Tommy laying in the area below the main part of the cart loading his Blog Gun, looking like a sniper

There are shrieks, nobody knows who from, and before anybody can blink Tubbo’s just scooped up a terrified Ranboo bridal style and fucking steals Lani’s skateboard shouting “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE HIM ALIVE!!” Over his shoulder

[bakuroo-writings]

Self Ship September Day Seven: MIya Osamu x female!reader, heart dividers made by @doinmybesthere

Warnings: female reader, swear words, petty/petulant arguments, kinda angsty cause Osamu is a jerk a little bit but ends fluffy, Osamu briefly in a dress for kicks and because why not?, time skip spoilers for Osamu’s job, no beta we die like men, I am ignoring any and all spelling or grammar errors there might be because I do not care right now, i think that’s everything?

18+ MINORS UNDER 18 AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT (i.e. like, reblog, follow). YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

word count: 2767

“Shit!” comes out of your mouth as you try to quickly clean up the red sauce stain on Osamu’s white Onigiri Miya t-shirt. “Why do I always cook in his white shirts?!” You think as you scrub furiously to no avail. Thankfully, dinner is almost done and, then, you can pretreat it. The last thing you want to do is add to Osamu’s plate, since he had a rough day. He called you on his break to vent – and to explain why he had to cancel your date tonight since he’d be home late.

“I’m sorry, doll. I know you were looking forward to it tonight.”

“Hey, Samu, it’s okay. I understand. We can just reschedule for this weekend, okay?”

“Thank you, doll. I swear hearing you say that is the best thing to happen today. It’s like everything that could go wrong today did.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Want to talk about it? Or just rant?”

“Yer amazing, you know that? First, Hana sprained her ankle then Kevin called out then Jacob, spilled a whole container of freshly made rice. Which I then slipped in – do you know how slippery rice is?” You hear the sigh come down the line and you can imagine him, in his office, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wish you could be here right now.”

Your heart breaks at his defeated tone. You wish you could make it better for him.

“Baby, I’d be there in a heartbeat if I could.”

“I know. And I love you for that. I just can’t wait for this day to be over so I can just come home and be in your arms.”

Knowing he probably didn’t get a chance to really eat so, wanting to have a home-cooked meal ready for him, you were going to surprise with a semi-late night candle light dinner date. You were going to try a new Italian restaurant so you brought out a red and white checkered tablecloth you found hidden in the back of the closet and decided to make spaghetti and French bread and were almost done when the sauce spilled on your – well, Samu’s – shirt.

You were about to go change and pre-treat it when you heard the door open and saw Samu in the door. A smile lit up your face when you saw him and you immediately went to hug him, not noticing his zeroed in on the stain.

“What the fuck is that on my shirt?” is the first thing out of his mouth and you glance down to where his eyes are staring. You open your mouth to answer when he cuts you off, “For fucks sake, y/n, these are my work shirts – is it so hard not to wear them, especially when you constantly spill something on them?”

Not liking how this started or his tone, you reply, “Want to walk out the door and try again? I know you had a bad day but that’s no reason to take it out on me.”

“What I’d really love, after a long, hard day at work, is to not see that you had stained yet another one of my work shirts. I am tired of having to constantly tell you not to wear them and of you constantly not listening and wearing them anyway. Can you really not process it through your pea brain?”

Taken aback, you don’t even dignify that with a response and he stomps to the bathroom, muttering a “I’m just gonna shower then get some food” and you still say nothing.

You know he had a rough day so you’re trying not to take his words personally, but they still hurt, still made you angry. “He has the next two days off. Hopefully, that puts him in a better mood,” you think as you enter the laundry room, removing his shirt at the same time, and, clad in just your bra, you work on pre-treating the stain and finish at the same time you hear Osamu leave the bathroom.

You hear his footsteps move past the room and, as he calls your name, you simply leave the laundry room to head to your bedroom, slamming the door shut so he knows, not only where you are, but, also, that you’re mad. Even though you’re not mad at all; you’re hurt. And, now, all you want to do is give into your exhaustion and sleep so you climb into bed after putting on one a new t-shirt – one that is actually yours. A few tears run down your face but, thankfully, you succumb to slumber quickly.

Back in the living room, Osamu lets out a deep sigh just after he heard the door slam. He knows he fucked up and went too far – it was just a shirt and he wasn’t even mad you. It was just the stress of the day and he took it out on you. He calmed down in the shower and intended to apologize the second he was out but, then, you slammed the door and he thought he’d give you some space, heading to the kitchen to get some dinner. . . when he saw the tablecloth, the unlit candle, table settings for two, the spaghetti in the middle with a basket of cut French bread.

Seeing all that you prepared, his stomach drops and he feels worse, his guilt eating him up inside. Dinner can wait a little longer –he has to make this right to you now. Ignoring his growling stomach, he pads down the hall to your bedroom, twists the door open, and walks in to see. . . your sleeping form.

Sighing deeply, he exits the room as thinks, “I’ll just apologize first thing in the morning, then. And thank her for the meal she prepared.”

Sitting down at the table, he spoons some spaghetti onto his plate and grabs a slice of French bread, his guilt only worsening with every bite.

“She didn’t deserve me to snap at her. I’ll get up early to get her favorite flowers and pick up some croissants from her favorite restaurant.”

With his plan finalized and his belly full, he packs up the leftovers in the fridge, puts the dishes in the dishwasher, and pads down the hall so he can fall asleep next to you. Having climbed into bed, his muscles finally relax and he sets an alarm so he can get the necessary things to show you how sorry he is. Turning over, he pulls you to him, spooning you as he wraps his arm around your waist.

He doesn’t know how many hours it’s been when he wakes with a start and finds you missing, your side of the bed made. He clambers for his phone to see it’s just after noon and races out of the room in search of you when he spots a neatly folded white shirt on the corner of the bed, a note resting on top.

Sorry about your shirt. Got the stain out and washed it for you. I’ll be sure to not wear your clothes again so this doesn’t happen in the future.

Y/N

“Fuck, she’s still mad,” is the only thought running through his mind. He didn’t think you’d never wear his clothes again; he loves seeing you in his clothes. Not only did he fuck up last night, he fucked up today, too, by missing his alarm. He rushes out of your shared bedroom, hoping he’ll see you on the couch but you’re not there. He checks every room and it’s not until he collapses on the couch that he sees the other note you left.

Made plans with f/n’s. Don’t know when I’ll be back, might stay there tonight so don’t wait up.

Y/N

And that’s when he feels his heart drop out of his chest. He rushes back to the bedroom and picks up his phone, fingers already on your contact pressing call. He holds the phone to his ear, just for it to be sent to voicemail so he shoots you a text.

Osamu: Hey. Saw your note. You having fun?

You: Yup.

Osamu: Still mad?

You: Nope. I’m fine.

And that’s how he knows he really did fuck up and that you’re actually still mad.

Osamu: Doll, I’m *sorry.* I’ll give you space until you’re ready to talk but can you, at least, tell me where you are so I don’t worry?

You: I’m at f/n’s house. We’re baking.

Osamu: Have fun. Will you come home tonight?

You: . . .

You: Yes.

He fist pumps the air at your answer; he still has a chance to make it right today, just much later than he wanted.

Osamu: I’ll see you later, then. I love you.

You: read 12:17 pm

Though his heart hurt a little at that, he can’t exactly blame you. With no time to dwell on it, he rushes to take a quick shower and gets dressed, rushing out the door to your usual grocery store and the nearest florist.

He gets home an hour later and checks his phone to see if you replied yet.

“Nothing,” he thinks and can’t help but feel dismayed. Pushing those thoughts aside, he puts the flowers he got you in a vase, cutting off the stems a little, then immediately gets to making you your favorite ravioli and French bread from scratch.

With the bread in the oven and waiting for the water to boil, he moves onto setting up the table like you did last night with one difference – he adds the flowers he got you. By now, the food is done and on the table so he checks his watch – almost 6. Perfect timing. He heads to the bedroom to put on a button down shirt and wait for you to come home.

Only you didn’t come home. Well, you did but not until after nine when Osamu had already had everything packed up in the fridge. Hearing your keys jingle, he jumps up to greet you.

“Doll! You’re home!” He rushes to you, holding you tightly in his arms.

You freeze for a moment, not expecting this reception, before you answer him, “Uh, yeah, Samu, I am. Sorry for being gone all day; F/N’s and I were just having so much fun.”

“That’s fine! I’m glad you had fun. Did you eat? Are you hungry? I can reheat dinner for you.”

“Whoa, Samu, slow down. I’m not going anywhere. But I did eat already, sorry. And I’m exhausted so let’s just go to bed, okay?”

You walk down the hallway, Osamu following behind you after a few seconds and sees you opening your dresser drawer, pulling out a shirt and shorts.

He rubs on a hand around the back of his neck when he speaks, “I have a shirt you can wear. . . if you want.”

“No, thanks, Samu. I’m good with my own. Wouldn’t want to make a mess of yours,” you say, smiling brightly at him before disappearing into the en suite to change. When you leave the bathroom, you start to head to your side but are stopped when a hand grabs yours and Osamu turns you to face him. Your eyes meet his, guilt and sadness swirling in them in a never-ending abyss, making your heart just break.

Pulling him to your chest and lifting your arms up, you wrap them around his shoulders, rubbing his back and leaving a hand to rest on the nape of his neck in comfort. His hands wrap around your waist tightly, almost as if he’s afraid that you’re going to disappear completely.

“I’m so sorry, doll. I shouldn’t have taken my bad day out on you and snap at you over something as ridiculous as a stain on my shirt and getting mad that you wear them. I actually love to see you in my clothes.”

“No, baby, I’m sorry; I knew it was just cause you had a bad day and that you didn’t mean any of it. I shouldn’t have dragged it out for so long. I should have talk to you instead.”

He pulls away to look at you with puppy dog eyes, “So am I forgiven?”

“Of course. Am I?” You ask after placing a peck on his lips and he breathes out a sigh in relief.

“There’s nothing to forgive, doll,” he replies, pressing a kiss to your neck then presses his nose into the crown of your head, inhaling your scent. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m gonna take you out tomorrow to make up for being a dick.”

Burrowing your nose in his chest, you let out a muffled, “You don’t have to, Samu.”

“I want to. Doll, you deserve to be given the world. I love you so much. I’d do anything to show how much you mean to me.”

A devious smile forms on your lips as you ask, “Anything?”

He sighs deeply and speaks, “I know that tone of voice and bet your smirking right now. But, yes, anything. So what do you want? What are you plotting?”

“Well. . .” You pause then continue, “I was thinking we could do a clothes swap tomorrow! You know, like, when we’re out, I’m in your clothes and you’re in mine.”

“I think I’m gonna regret this but. . . fine, let’s do it.”

You clap excitedly, smiling brightly at him as you do, and he gives you a smile and forehead kiss in return. . . before he quickly picks you up bridal style, causing you to let out a yelp, and walks towards the bed. He kicks the covers back and deposits you on the bed before clambering in behind you, pulling you flush against his chest, and your eyes droop as his breathing evens out.

The next day, you’re out for your date and you can’t help but giggle at Osamu. While you are in one of his signature Onigiri Miya t-shirts and a pair of leggings, he’s wearing one of your dresses with one of the most displeased looks on his face. Until he looks at you and sees how happy you are and the laughter dancing in your eyes and he knows it’s worth all the looks he’s been getting.

But he’s also glad when you’re both safely back at your home. He immediately heads to the bedroom to put on his own clothes – a pair of grey sweats and a black Onigiri Miya t-shirt. He’s pulling the t-shirt on over his head as he hears you shout out an “Osamu!” and he races to you, heart beating fast. He sees you – unharmed, thank God - standing in front of the fridge, holding the Tupperware from last night, and he tries to slow his rapidly beating heart.

“Ya dam near gave me a heart attack, doll,” he drawls out as he saunters to you and presses a kiss to your head.

“Sorry, baby,” you say, sheepish look on your face, then continue on, “But what the hell are these?!”

“Well,” he starts, rubbing his neck nervously, “it was the apology dinner I made for you last. Your favorite ravioli and French bread from scratch. Even got you your favorite flowers.”

You pout sadly as he admits this, feeling bad that he worked so hard and you missed it because you were being petty and petulant, when his thumb presses along your lower lip, “hey, now, stop pouting. Don’t feel bad, doll. You didn’t know – I wanted to surprise you.”

“But. . .”

“Nope, none of that. I did it because I love you. It was supposed to make you happy, not sad.”

Your frown only deepens and he sighs.

“How about this? We can reheat it and curl up on the couch, catch up on our shows and I get to hold you in my arms, like I wanted – and still want – two days ago. And you promise that the only clothes sharing we do from now on. . . is you in mine, okay, doll?”

You agree, breaking out into a smile and kissing him before pulling off the lid and sticking the food in the microwave, setting the reheat time as Osamu gets plates and eating utensils. That night, dishes on the coffee table, you in Osamu’s arms, your back against his chest, you can’t help but think of how lucky you are to have such a kind, wonderful, and thoughtful boyfriend. Sure, there are ups-and-downs and arguments but you’d rather have arguments with him than a perfect relationship with anyone else.

General taglist: @chibishae34​

© 2021 all works are the property of bakuroo-writings. Do not repost or re-upload to other sites such as wattpad, ao3, or tiktok. Do not do audio readings.

[maysbanks]

she moves in her own way. (jj maybank)

due to the ASTOUNDING response to my first jj fic which i have to say a huuuge thank you to everyone that liked, commented & reblogged, it honestly means the absolute world !! i couldn't wait much longer to start writing for my boy again, i have so many fic ideas and cannot wait to get them out to y'all. this one is shorter than the last, & the title is inspired from the song 'she moves in her own way' by the kooks (lol) but isn't necessarily based off of it, it's just something that i wrote up quickly bc i was in my feels™️ . also i feel very unoriginal with the whole plot and aspect of this but im gonna post it anyway bc i love jj lmao. anyway hope u enjoy !

warnings: swearing, underage drinking, drug use, violence, jj with a gun™️

summary: reader walks the fine line between either pogue or kook, though technically a kook, she ignores all social standings of the obx and jj maybank cannot stop himself from getting caught up in her whirlwind.

( gif isn’t mine! please let me know if it’s yours so i can credit you. )

Everyone seemed to have a different perspective of you, unsurprisingly. You weren't really much of a social butterfly, you kept yourself to yourself, really. Nobody in the Outer Banks knew much about you at all, other than what they had come up with in their heads. And while you tried your best to stay in the shadows, that only seemed to make you stand out more.

You were known for being the best of both worlds - not really a Pogue, but not really a Kook either. While your social status and family wealth suggested you to be a Kook, your free spirit and reckless behaviour fitted you better towards the Pogue style. If anyone were to ask you, you told them you were neither.

Why should a name define you anyway? You thought it was all bullshit, the stupid territorial arguments and the snide comments from both sides. You thought it was ridiculous, you weren't living in The Outsiders, for fuck sake.

You moved in your own way, simple as that. You wouldn't let anyone tell you what to do, where you can't or shouldn't be, it was a free country you'd say, middle finger salute ready to aim towards anyone who dared cross you. You were an enigma, wild and careless, unforgiving and unforgettable. You didn't necessarily like the attention, but you got it. And you knew it, and you played on it, too.

You had used your irresistible charm more than enough times to bail JJ Maybank out of trouble, despite your parents' protest. They didn't have a problem with the Pogues, persay, how could they when your dad been one half of his life before meeting your mom and marrying into the rich lifestyle; they just had a problem with JJ, as many of the parents on the island did. He was an unstoppable force to be reckoned with, weed smoking, knuckles constantly torn, skin bruised, quick wit, sarcastic humour, daddy issues, you know the type. Kids loved him, parents hated him.

You were friends with JJ, you supposed. You spent your time with him talking about your days and smoking a joint, meaningful conversations turning into joking and general tomfoolery within seconds. With JJ, you were simply unapologetically you, and JJ never judged you. He never made you choose a side, seemingly content with the fact that you were a little bit of everything, though there was times when he teased you relentlessly about the Kook life, but that was just JJ.

And despite the social differences, him being a Pogue through and through, you technically a Kook, you were drawn to each other pretty easily. Not that you hung out all the time, but you loved every second when you did, usually joined by his group of best friends - John B, Pope, and Kiara. With Kiara a Kook herself but drawn more to the lifestyle of the Pogue's, she understood you more than anyone. You'd bonded a lot, and with each of them too.

JJ loved that you fitted in with them, like a missing puzzle piece. So perfectly, it shook him to its core. The pair of you were close, but he had no idea where he stood with you, like most people never when it came to you. You were like a rollercoaster, taking people for the most exciting ride of their lives that lasted a full three or so minutes before they returned back to solid ground. You'd given JJ a ride a number of times on your non-existent metaphorical rollercoaster, and he'd returned for another ride time and time again. You couldn't say no to that damned boy.

It was a blessing and a curse, the unspoken relationship you shared. A blessing because JJ was the best thing that happened to you, and a curse because that was your downfall. You never got attached to people, never given yourself the chance. But then JJ Maybank had come along, blonde hair and blue eyes, split lip and sharpened teeth, words cunning. You saw him as a challenge at first, the name Kook Princess haunting you as he spoke them, stood in front of you at the keg upon your first real meeting. He'd held a drink out towards you, smirk perfect on his pink lips.

You'd attended over a hundred kegger's in your lifetime, the Pogue parties more inviting than those of the Kook's. You danced and talked to anyone that came across your path, whether it be unknowing Tourons, unjudging Pogues, or unforgiving Kooks, you drew them all in. You didn't fit in with any of them, JJ had realised. You really did move in your own way, he thought. He liked that, he'd decided. And hey, you were pretty cute too.

On that particular night, he'd spoken to you directly for the first time in a long time. "Would the Kook Princess like a drink?" He'd asked, holding the red cup out towards you. You'd eyed the offended object, and subsequently him, too. He smirked at the attention. You had rolled your eyes.

"Don't call me that," you'd said simply, but taking the cup from his hands regardless. You took a sip, relieved to discover that he hadn't tampered with it in any way. You were still considered a Kook to most people, after all. You could never be too careful. "Thanks, Maybank."

And he'd blinked at you, lips suddenly raising to a sly smile as he shrugged, dimples winking at you as they appeared in his cheeks. "Anytime," and he'd spoken your name back to you and you couldn't get enough of the way it sounded coming from his mouth, and you realised hey, this guy is pretty cute, and the rest, as they, is history.

You were in the midst of another infamous Pogue kegger at the current, months after your first introduction to JJ Maybank and his friends, and you stood off to the side, listening to JJ intently as he ranted about the events of the day he'd endured. Starting from finding a Grady White sunken in the marsh, "A fucking Grady Marsh, they're like 500 G's man!", to discovering that the boat belonged to Scooter Grubbs, who had coincidentally been found dead that same day, to getting chased by two guys with a gun, to the finding of the motel key from the wreck and breaking in that same motel room, finding a safe full of money and a gun of all things, to their best attempt at laying low which, unsurprisingly, resulted in the kegger in the first place.

JJ was wild in his recite of the events, hands gesturing every which way as you watched him with your lips curled into your mouth, resisting a smile at his antics. When he finished he retelling, you raised an eyebrow and chuckled dryly. "So, complete and utter boring day for you, huh?"

JJ chuckled along with you, shaking his head as if he was still in disbelief from everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours. "Man, it was crazy," he muttered. He looked at you then, eyes sincere. "I wish you were there with us. It was like something straight from a movie, I'm telling you. I feel like such a badass with that gun."

Your secret joy at his confession of that he wished you were was short lived, as the last of his words sunk in and you felt dread build in the pit of your stomach. You stared at him, him so excited that he hadn't even realised your face had dropped, before you reached out and grabbed his arm, effectively halting his movements and stopping the hurried flow of words that were leaving his mouth.

"JJ," you said carefully, eyes trained on his as he stared, clueless. "Please tell me you did not take that gun from the safe."

Your heart dropped as you saw him falter, his lips helplessly moving but no words coming out. He held a hand up, as if to hush you, though you hadn't started to speak again, and then his hand had dropped just as quick as it was raised, his teeth biting down on his chapped lip as the realisation dawned on you.

"JJ Fucking Maybank," you spat, hands slapping gently at his arms, because you could never really hurt him, you just wanted him to know you were pissed. "Do you realise how fucking careless that is? How much trouble you could get into, if anyone knew you had a gun-" your voice trailed off, your eyes closing as you exhaled. "JJ, please tell me you don't have it on you right now."

His lack of reply was the only answer you needed, and your stomach churned as you stepped back from his figure, suddenly feeling sick. He followed you, though, not letting you get too far as he took your arms in his hands and tried to drag you closer to him once more. You shook your head, arms slipping from his hold as you glared at him fiercely.

"That's so fucking stupid, JJ. You could get into serious trouble with this, trouble I won't be able to get you out of." You warned, because you knew it was true. Your charm and looks could get him out of some trouble to its extent, but it was more so your parents wealth and status that got the both of you out of shit when you managed to get into it, and you also knew your parents would literally throw a fit if you got involved in something like this - carrying a gun was no joking matter. You stepped back once more, hand finding its way to your forehead. "And from a crime scene, no less. Fucking hell."

JJ licked his lips, standing back roughly as you watched, his jaw clenching. "Well I'm not asking for your help here, Princess," he taunted, the nickname sending a wave of annoyance through you. JJ knew it would. "It's not like I ask you to help me, you're just there. Thinking I need help, like I'm some fucking charity case, a fucking doll you picked up from the thrift store that was gonna be thrown out the next day."

You tried to protest, but JJ didn't give you the chance. "I don't need your help all the fucking time. I don't need your pity. I get that you won't understand because why would you? You're a Kook, you get everything you want handed to you on a silver platter. And you can argue and fight me about it all you want, but I know you know it's true."

He sighed heavily, hands running down his face in a sign of defeat. You watched him all the while, thankful that you had ventured off the outskirts of the party so that hopefully nobody had heard JJ shouting at you, your heart wrenching as his blue eyes settled on you. "I'm sorry, JJ," you said finally. You refused to cry, though the desire to at the sight of him being so mad at you tore you apart. "I'm just trying to look out for you. With the gun thing, with everything that I help you with. And I know I'm a Kook, and I know that my parents could afford to buy half of this fucking island if they pleased, but that doesn't define me. I care, okay? And I know I care a lot more than a lot of people in your life."

It was probably a low blow, and you knew it. But JJ took it in, let the words sink into his brain where they stayed there, his fists clenching at his sides. You crossed your arms over your chest, defeated.

"I'm gonna go back to the party," you whispered. "I'll see you around, I guess." You eyed his pockets, unsure of where exactly he held the gun. "Be careful, okay."

And even when you were angry with him, you still tried to make sure he was okay, that he stayed safe. There was multiple occasions you'd showed up unannounced, simply asking how his day was, if he okay, if he had eaten that day, stayed hydrated. At first the attention startled him, he'd never really had anyone look out for him in that aspect, and yet there you were, like an angel sent from the gods themselves, smiling down at him.

You cared, he realised. You cared so much that sometimes he couldn't take it, because he didn't know how. The most family he'd ever gotten close to having in his life was the Pogues, after losing his mother and subsequently losing his father too as he turned into the monster that he was, cold and distant, fists always poised ready for an imaginary fight, and he knew that someday the Pogues would even slip through his fingers. He couldn't let that happen with you. He wouldn't.

He'd started off in your direction, truly, he had. But then John B was grabbing him and averting his attention to him, and he focused on his friend, promising only a minute of his time. You were in his sights, stood a bit away, and he recognised the couple you were talking to as Sarah Cameron and Topper Thorton, Kooks through and through. He held his distaste back, and even held a drink out to offer to Sarah as she and Topper made their way past where he and John B were standing. Big fucking mistake, he realised quickly.

It had all happened in a blur of events, each little bit leading to big finale - as he watched his best friend being held down in the water, powerless to Topper who kneeled over him, hands forcing John B to stay put in the sea. Sarah was screaming at Topper, Pope was holding JJ back with all his might, Kie beside them as she screamed along with Sarah to let John B go. And there you were, suddenly beside JJ, gripping his arm tightly as you took in the sight with a horrified glare. JJ didn't even hesitate; the gun had been pulled from his shorts and was directed at Topper's head in the blink of an eye.

The fury in his veins was red hot and ugly, tearing through every part of him like a vice. This was the Pogues land, their side of the island, and yet the Kooks still thought they could get away with anything and everything - including, apparently, attempting to drown his best friend.

"Your move, broski," JJ uttered through clenched teeth. He could hear the screams of the crowd behind him, and he pulled the gun away from Topper's head and into the direction of the sky, firing two shots towards it as the crowd of people quickly dispersed, screeches sounding from all over. "Now everybody needs to get the fuck off our side of the island!"

He was shoved to the side as Sarah rushed to her boyfriend, telling him he was fucking crazy or something like that, he wasn't really listening. The shots rang in his ears, and the adrenaline of the moment soured through him. Kie and Pope were screaming at him, he could hear their voices distantly. His blue eyes were unfocused for a second, before they looked up, and there you were.

Sent from the gods themselves, once again. You looked vibrant, so insanely alive, lips red and cheeks flushed, eyes bright. You let out a shaky breath as you watched him. JJ clenched his jaw.

"He was going to drown John B," he thought he'd said, but he wasn't sure. He didn't really know what to keep track of at that moment, Kie and Pope's obvious disapproval at him literally doing the one thing they swore not to do, Sarah and Topper stumbling away from the scene in the distance, John B getting up and muttering something along the lines of he wasn't going to drown me, or you, simply staring at him.

Before he knew what he was doing, JJ had made his way towards you. The gun was still held in his hands, and you swallowed thickly as you eyed it. "You should put that away," you muttered. JJ seemed confused, before he caught on to what you meant and he shoved the gun back to the spot of in between his shorts and his hip. "You literally did the one thing I said not to, you tool."

JJ cracked a smile, small and uncertain as he gazed at you. You stepped closer to him, eyes glancing over his shoulder. "You really pissed them off," you said, meaning his friends.

JJ shrugged, because he didn't care about their opinion, he cared about yours. And if you hated him now, hated the fact that he was just some dirty Pogue who held guns against people's heads now, apparently. "I don't care about what they think," he spoke softly. You looked at him confused. "I care about what you think."

You smiled softly, shrugging one shoulder. "Topper was going to drown John B," you replied, matter of fact. "If you hadn't stepped in when you did, who knew what could have happened. Nothing could have stopped him." You bit your lip, hand reaching out and touching his face gently, thumb soothing over the worried line between his brows. "You did the right thing, J. A fucking crazy and stupid thing, potientally dangerous, but the right thing nonetheless."

"Yeah, that's kind of my go-to, if you haven't already noticed," JJ smiled, tongue running over his bottom lip. You rolled your eyes, though playful. "Look, I'm sorry about before, okay. I was a dick. I know you care, but sometimes that's what scares me."

Your eyebrows furrowed, a confused expression on your face as your hand dropped from his face to intertwine with his own hand, his gaze suddenly becoming fixed on your linked hands, his other absentmindedly playing with your fingers that held his hand.

"It's like, you're this untouchable thing. I mean, you don't belong to anyone, you refuse to go by anything other than your name, and you're like this perfect mix between Pogue and Kook even if you do hate it and everyone knows who are you and they make these stories up about you, like that's how popular you are," JJ chuckled. "And then you hang out with me, you look past all the dirty Pogue shit, see me for who I am, and you care. And you care so god dammed much that it fucking terrifies me because nobody's ever cared that much before about me, so why should you?"

His hand left yours to remove the hat from sitting atop his hair and then run his hand through the blonde locks. You could see his tongue running along the outsides of his bottom teeth, the action causing a bump beneath his skin. He looked nervous than you had ever seen him before, and you'd both gotten into enough nerve-wracking situations together to compare. You sighed as your hands reached for his face, gripping his cheeks and forcing his eyes to gaze down at yours.

"JJ Maybank," you started, grinning softly. "You listen to me while I tell you that you deserve the fucking world and more. All this shit that you're going through, all the crap you deal with on a daily basis, you carry it so well that nobody would even know. You fight through each day and I don't even know how you manage it half the time. I admire you so much, J. And I can't help but care about you, even if you don't want me to. I care about you so much, that you wanna know a secret? It scares me too."

JJ gazed down at you lovingly, his forehead moving to rest against yours. You welcomed the embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist and squeezing you gently, as if reassuring himself that you were actually there.

"JJ," you whispered as you were stood in silence for a precise minute, neither of you daring to break the silence until you had. His blue eyes stared into yours, awaiting the next part of your speech. You swallowed your nerves down, figuring fuck it. "I'm so in love with you."

He grinned, his head swooping down before you knew it and his lips pressing against yours in a heated embrace that sent a sensation of butterflies to fly wildly in your stomach, bashing against your ribcage and taking your breath away. Shivers flew up your spine, and every hair on your body stood on edge as the kiss grew heavier, tongues brushing and teeth clattering, bodies pressed against each other as much as they could manage.

When JJ's lips left yours, you almost whined. JJ grinned cheekily, hands digging into your hips. "I love you," he breathed against the skin of your neck as he buried his head there, lips tickling the flesh. "I can't believe you just macked on me while I have a gun in my pocket."

You rolled your eyes and tugged gently on his hair, spurring a laugh from him as you shoved him away and grinned despite yourself. "Do not remind me, please," you warned him, allowing him to pull you into his side as you made your way down the beach. "I still can't believe you took that thing."

"I knew it'd come in handy though," he grinned, pulling you closer with the arm thrown over your shoulder. You wrapped yours around his waist, face squished in his chest as you shook your head.

"You're an idiot, Maybank."

[testingcheats0n]

If it helps, I know you reblogged something about how Tubbo’s outpost arc doesn’t make sense, but it actually kind of does? The reason he made the outpost in the first place was because he was suspicious of how Foolish all of a sudden sold his house and left Snowchester (coincidentally shortly after Tubbo trusted him with the nukes and his trauma), then Quackity griefed him, and now he’s just tired of being walked over by everyone, because the last time he tried negotiation and compromise, it was with Dream and exile, and we all know how well that went. He doesn’t trust that Quackity won’t try and take more and more, and can you blame him? We know Quackity plans on expansion, and Tubbo knows Quackity enough to know how ambitious he is.

Is Tubbo morally perfect? Of course not. He hasn’t been since at least the butcher army. But he’s not out of character, and he still doesn’t want to actually go to war. He built the nukes to look scary, and so that’s what he’s trying to do: look scary enough that Quackity will leave him alone.

No, no, I can understand Tubbo's motives. I know why he did what he did. That's not under question- maybe under discussion, but never questioned. My problem is that I don't know where his character will go from this whole situation, because healthy coping mechanisms, fullfillment and peace are not on the table. It's basically: Character A hurts Character B during conflict, Character B starts a new conflict to hurt Character A, Character C gets hurt during conflict, Character A and C start a new conflict to hurt Character B- this cycle has happened three different times with at least 3 different characters at this point of the story.

I don't know where the story will go from here in general- at least in a satisfactory way. It's just a repetition of everything that's happened until now, and I can predict how things will go. Just more of the same with no happy ending- always leading to the next horrific trauma.

Option A: Tubbo dies permanently because of the obvious brewing conflict. And that's it, bye, bye Tubbo, Dream doesn't care about you + he's in prison so Ranboo is (maybe) going to get involved even worse than before to save you, doing horrific shit in the process. Ranboo gets traumatized trying to save him, and everyone else has to grieve for someone that might come back anyway. That's just Quackity's plot with Schlatt 2.0 + Tommy's return after the prison

Option B: Quackity dies and Las Nevadas is just L'manburg 2.0 with a discount Wilbur-Fundy trauma and everything + his poor poor substitute will try to keep the country Quackity made everyone's problem alive, and my guess is that the chances of success are a solid 0. Let's suppose that Tubbo does nuke Las Nevadas/Technoblade finally learns about the things (government) he should have known a long time ago/ Wilbur, uh. Does something eventually, and congrats that's just Doomsday 2.0 but with a different country.

Option C: Nobody dies and nothing terrible happens, but the trauma from previous events remains unchecked until the next time Quackity or Tubbo or someone decides they want to be ~bad~... why are we here again?

Option D: Both Tubbo and Quackity die. Cool, it's not like I was supposed to care about them or anything. Investment? I don't know her. Who is going to die next for shock value? Vote now. If they return, they'll be barely functional and probably will immediately try to start some new pointless conflict over again. Idk, something that just popped in my mind. They might do it for real too.

Option E: Snowchester is destroyed (lame and boring, but it's been dying for a while so *shrug* no stakes, no investment. Oh no it's another country... and now it's gone... cool...) OR someone (not Tubbo or Quackity) loses a canon life which- eh- they've all have 2-3 lives so 0 stakes OR Wilbur dies for the sake of torture porn and more trauma/misery- if Satan decides to prove he's real we'll get ghostbur again... isn't that great? Haha... OR Tommy dies (for some reason?? I see them making it happen.). If permanently yawn- he did it once Big bro Dre is there to save the situation, not that permadeath is the worse option- if not then 0 stakes. Prison Lockdown 2.0

Option F: Karl's storyline finaly connects to the DSMP? Somehow? That's the most fun option.

Option G: None of the things Tubbo, Quackity and Wilbur do matter because Technoblade frees Dream and they all- fucking- band together against the ~common enemy~ (Vault 2.0) and take him out. He goes back to the prison or dies. Very cyclic. I hope that's saved for the actual end of the series.

Option H: Dream comes back to fuck shit up- interrupting or making the conflict even worse ofc-, but no one bands together and Dream is free to get whatever he wants, but this time meaner because he was tortured. Ooooo. I wonder what terrible things he will do- especially to Tommy oh nooooooo~~~(I absolutely don't want to see that) (Pogtopia vs. Manburg 2.0)

Not death, cause that's fixable *shrug*

Option I: Dream just disappears from the public conscience and Technoblade is like 'hmmm? oh no no, governments? Existing AND fighting in MY server?' and just... kills everyone. Fun, lighthearted streams, yeah? If he's going to say he's an anarchist that wants to destroy countries, then he better act like it.

Option J: Someone from the previously involved cast reemerges and does something mildly impactful, like a betrayal- so original, or some spying- very original too. (Fundy, Foolish, Bad, Sam, Puffy, Charlie, Sapnap?) idk. Half of them need to end their own arcs first imo.

Basically this little war I'm seeing is happening between Las Nevadas, Snowchester, and whatever half-baked plan Wilbur and his new pet (ouchie, I spent months rooting for Tommy's autonomy guess that was a loss of my time) have going on, is nothing but a boring, violent repetition of previous conflicts that will do nothing but pile on trauma on already suffering characters. No resolution, no peace, no healing, just pain, more moral corruption, monologues and cookie stands.

At this point, I'll be very surprised if none of the options above happen, because I haven't been given anything to hold on for months. I'm sorry for being this negative- especially since you wanted to explain Tubbo's POV only- you can enjoy this story for what it is- that's perfectly fine, but I can't anymore.

Sorry for the unrelated (?) rant, and thanks for the ask.

[indecisive-behaviors]

Okay so I just reblogged a thing talking about season 2 and 3 of Cobra Kai and I have some Thoughts about what they did to everyone’s character arcs in this so if you’d like a rant it’s under the cut with spoilers from all 3 seasons plus spoilers for all 3 Karate Kid movies

Okay so my issues start with one very key scene that I personally think fucked up the whole rest of the narrative, and by extension everyone else’s character arcs: which is from Different but Same. And no not that scene- not yet at least.

The first scene that I think fucked over the narrative and killed several character arcs was the beach scene. Miguel, reasonably distraught over the idea that Sam is hiding him from her dad(which she is actually doing to be fair), gets completely drunk and when Sam and Robby arrive together he loses it, pushes Sam and subsequently gets dumped. Now why do I think this ruined everything? It completely goes against Miguel’s character up to this point. Miguel is absolutely trying to mimic Johnny in a lot of key ways but also up to this point Miguel has also been Johnny’s conscience; he’s smart and kind and had not at all shown to be anything even close to what Johnny was in KK1. He’s stood up for his friends, defended the girl he likes from bullies, he’s a huge mama’s boy and a bit of a hopeless romantic. In no episode up until that point does he ever display any tendency towards unnecessary violence, despite Johnny’s “strike first” motto. Miguel getting wasted and violent does not add up in my mind. Miguel is supposed to be a narrative parallel to Daniel for fuck sake. Also, and this is my main complaint, there is no fucking reason for Miguel to immediately jump to the conclusion that Sam is seeing Robby- literally none. They look very much alike, hell Robby looks a little like Amanda honestly, he could very well be her cousin for all Miguel knows. Robby and Sam don’t even act like a couple in the shot- they’re literally just sitting next to each other at family dinner. None of this subplot makes any fucking sense.

And then, obviously, there’s the very next scene- Johnny goes with Daniel back to his place, tipsy and happy and seemingly in a very good place with each other. Then Robby shows up, Johnny loses his shit and Daniel proceeds to get pissed and kick Robby out. Now there is one thing I point out about this scene whenever I talk about it that doesn’t add up: no where in this scene is it ever even implied that either Johnny or Daniel know about Robby’s original intentions. (Also nothing up till that point ever even establishes why Robby knows about Daniel and Johnny’s rivalry in the first fucking place for the record). There is no reason for Johnny to suspect that Daniel knew and was hiding it, or even that Robby was doing it on purpose, and there is no reason for Daniel to get mad or even suspect that Robby knew what he was doing or was lying about it; and the fact of the matter is that Robby never actually lied(also Daniel never fucking asked) about his home situation. His mom was neglectful and an addict, and his father wasn’t in the picture. That’s it, and none of that was a lie. Now I’m not sitting here and denying that what Robby did was wrong because it absolutely was-- it was manipulative and unfair to Daniel and he had a right to be angry when he found out it was the case but there is nothing to suggest that he didn’t just jump to conclusions. And also, personally, I don’t think any of that justifies kicking a teenager to the curb, and one that Daniel explicitly knows has no one and nothing to fall back on. Be angry, be furious with Robby, but leaving a teenager to fend for themselves is cruel and completely unjustifiable behavior from a grown ass adult(also there’s a whole can of worms involved in Daniel never trying to figure out where the fuck Robby’s parents are and letting him live there without an explanation but that’s for a different rant).

Now assume none of that weird subplot happens, there is another way to have the Robby and Miguel rivalry that would have made so much more fucking sense and it only hinges on one fucking thing- Robby enters the tournament. It could be with or without Daniel’s approval(maybe even with a KK3 parallel, but Daniel honestly seems pretty into the tournament these days so he’d probably be down for Robby joining and reping Miyagi-do), but all we need is for him to do it.  Robby gets there, and Johnny sees him, potentially rocking a Miyagi-do gi and can have his surprised/hurt moment with him and Daniel, even potentially a confrontation between them. We can also still have Miguel beating Robby in the tournament and having Johnny be conflicted about his son losing. Hawk can even still hurt him and give Johnny his “holy shit this is wrong” epiphany and Miguel not understanding why Johnny wants him to go easy on Robby. Robby can still be hurt and upset by thinking Johnny cares more about Miguel after he loses.

Okay now as for season 2? Assuming everything stays the same in season 1, I have one MAJOR complaint. Robby becoming Sam’s love interest; and no it’s not because I think Miguel and Sam should be an endgame couple when the show is over(I do but that’s beside the point) but because it turns Sam into a plot device. This carries over into season 3 where she starts dating Miguel again and apparently just never breaks it off with Robby which is such a dick move I can not for the life of me imagine Sam of all fucking people doing it. She isn’t perfect by any means but she’s also outspoken and and much more confident by that point and should not have had a problem breaking up with someone in an email. But I digress, back to season 2- the moment I saw that Sam and Robby were going to be a couple I immediately knew the writers fucked up. There was no build up for it, nothing in season 1 to foreshadow this as a possibility(Different but Same doesn’t count because that was a whiplash of an episode) and they just decided offhandedly to put her in the middle of Robby’s and Miguel’s rivalry. There was no reason to make them a couple other than to fuck with Miguel and set up the Tory & Sam rivalry which could have happened fucking anyway with the shit at the country club, the rift between Sam and Aisha, and Miguel’s ongoing feelings for Sam even after he’s dating Tory(also a dick move what the fuck Miguel??). Adding Robby as fuel to the fire was super unnecessary and all it did was set up the clusterfuck that was the season 2 finale.

And OH BOY was that finale a clusterfuck. First of all, as a prelude- Fuck. Daniel. He pulled the exact same shit as in season 1 with dumping Robby the second he does anything even a little bit wrong. But also, as a gut punch, Robby didn’t actually do anything wrong. What was he supposed to do at the party? He couldn’t stop Sam from drinking even though he wanted to, it was her (very poor) choice. But he did what he could, he kept an eye on her, and when the cops showed up, he didn’t just leave her, he put her in the car and drove her somewhere he thought she’d be safe without having to immediately face her father(who super fucking overreacted btw) while she was recovering. This scene, which could have been an excellent bonding moment for Johnny and Robby, and an introduction to Sam getting to know Johnny outside of her father’s influence, was turned into a brawl for no fucking reason. 

Which leads me to the school fight. And right off the bat I’ve got to say this; even as, and maybe especially as, a person who has written post season 3 fix it fics, there is no way for Robby and Miguel to convincingly fix what happened in the season 2 finale. Yes, what Robby did was absolutely an accident and he has already done his time for it. But the elephant in the room is this: Miguel could have died. Or at the very least, been totally paralyzed. There is not a good way to come back from that. They will always have that hanging over their heads, even if they somehow reach an understanding. And I know someone is going to try and make the argument about that being a parallel to Johnny and Daniel in KK1, but if it is that it’s a terrible parallel. What Johnny did was supremely fucked up and I won’t deny that, especially with the Halloween scene and Daniel’s knee in the tournament(which actually was technically more Bobby’s doing, but I digress), but it was never “almost permanently disable/kill someone” bad. (Again there’s a whole can of worms to open about the shit with Chozen and Daniel’s seemingly pretty easy forgiveness of a man who tried to kill him because what the fuck?? But again that’s another rant.) But the writers wanted to push the envelope so now Johnny will always have the tug of war of choosing Robby, who he loves but who also really fucked up, and Miguel, who was the original reason for the rivalry in the first place but who was also the one who, again, almost died because of his son, even if he somehow fixes his relationship with both. It will always be “why did you pick him over me?” and Johnny will never have a good enough answer for either of them. And finally the big complaint- Johnny completely regressing in season 3. Season 3 honestly felt like a rehashing of season 1 because we literally had to see him progress in his arc all over again from square fucking one. He still isn’t there for Robby, he’s still fucking up things with Miguel and his family, he’s still fucking up his relationship with Daniel, he still chooses to miss his appointment with Robby to see Miguel(who would have been there after the appointment and he could have seen him then), he abandons half of his fucking students to fend for themselves and leaves the other half with a man he knows is a dangerous psychopath. And yes we get the cool scene at the end of December 19, but is it worth it?? I’m genuinely asking because, as much as I love that scene, I really don’t believe it is.(edit: Also fuck that whole subplot with Eli and Demetri- you don’t get to just break the arm of the boy who was your best friend and just have that go away with no repercussions. Fuck. That. I hope Demetri gets at minimum an actual on screen apology, and hopefully Eli actually trying to make amends.)

We could have still had the big team up- have Johnny admit to Daniel that he’s fucked up and tell him everything that’s happening with Kreese. Have them join forces to defeat Kreese in the tournament. Have the dumb fucking bet. Introduce Terry Silver in season 4. Have Johnny’s and Daniel’s tenuous truce strained at every turn because they’re idiots. Do all of it. But y’know what? We could have had all of that- all of it- without it being at the expense of at least 2 character arcs; Johnny’s and also Robby’s.

Also before I end this I just have to add- nothing and I mean nothing will ever redeem Kreese or Silver for me. I do not give a singular shit about either of their tragic backstories, I just don’t. I get why and how Chozen got his redemption- he was a teenager when that shit happened, and while the shit he pulled is personally unforgivable in my opinion, he has actively been trying to redeem himself by spending the last however many decades making it up to his community. I’d even understand a Barnes redemption to an extent, even though I wouldn’t accept it, because he was also very young and being manipulated by, again, a dangerous psychopath. But Kreese and Silver? Abso-fucking-lutely not. They were two grown ass adults who purposefully targeted an 18 year old and put him through emotional and physical for weeks, paid someone to intimidate him through both threats of physical violence but also through vandalism, and gaslighted him and isolated him from the only family he had at the time because he beat them in a children’s karate competition. Look, I’m not sorry, I don’t give a fuck about Kreese’s tragic backstory, nothing about what Kreese has done can be rationalized by just saying “oh his mom and girlfriend died and he was in ‘Nam”. And any good thing he does for Tory, or even Robby, does not balance out all the harm he has caused. Silver is even less redeemable- I don’t care that he almost died in war, I’m an army brat I know plenty of people who almost died and don’t act like this. In canon we have evidence of him being completely, unrepentantly evil- the first scene with him in it has him basically confirmed as the BP of nuclear waste, he pays people so he can beat them up, he’s been personally funding Kreese’s child indoctrination classes. They could pull out the saddest backstory for him possible and I would not give a shit. And that’s fine. We don’t need every bad guy to have a tragic backstory- sometimes an evil villain can just be an evil villain for no reason, not all of them need a traumatic turning point that the authors shove in to make the audience sympathize with them. So please, writers, stop trying to make me feel sorry for them because I really don’t and I don’t understand anyone who does.

Okay rant over.

[angelicmichael]

Imminient Annihilation Sounds so Dope, Chapter Seven

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Reader confesses to Mallory that she met Michael and they go have a night out, execpt they run into a certain someone ;)

Words: 6.1k+

Warnings; Mentions of alcohol poisoning, and someone gets VERY drunk (not saying who cause I don’t wanna spoil it). For the sake of the fic pretend that all characters including the reader are of legal drinking age: please and thank you lol

A/N: Sorry for not updating this in so long 😶 I will be back to add a ‘read more’ line and add it to my master list in a couple days. Idk why all my chapters and fics are so fucking long I’m sorry 😂 this chapter was originally even longer but I cut it down believe it or not. I feel like the chapter is the ‘peak’ moment for the tension between Michael and Reader for sure. The tension and the dynamic between them is just so fun to write honestly haha. Reblog or like this if you enjoyed ♥️ also if u wanna be on the tag list let me know!! ALSOO this is readers POV and takes place about a day after the last chapter!

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You felt tense. That was the best way to describe how you felt but it also wasn’t. You felt a constant swirling storm inside of you since you met Michael. That storm made you feel different flavors and elements of being anxious and angry but being tense was the most prominent emotion of them all.

You made the difficult choice to lay low about your new powers, but that only seemed the make the crazed whirlwind of emotions you felt even worse.

You knew you were making the best decision by not telling the coven, it would only breed more chaos and make everything more complicated if you did decide to come clean about your powers. You hated to admit it but lying to Cordelia was too fucking easy.

Telling little white lies to Cordelia was easy anyway, however, pretending that you only had two powers everyday was not so easy. You could feel your new powers growing and itching to be used. It was almost like you had all of this pent up energy inside of you but no outlet. It seemed to burn at your fingertips and the fact that you couldn’t be your true authentic self in front of your sisters was slowly killing you and sending you into some kind of depression. You weren’t sure what was worse, going insane or letting the depression slowly eat away at you.

However hiding your new powers from your best friend was what was really proving to be the most difficult of all. You were normally a open book with Mallory, she knew everything that there was to know about you.. execpt for this. She didn’t know that you were now supposed to be the next supreme, and she certainly didn’t know that your powers were so strong that you were even stronger than the actual antichrist himself. And it was killing you not to tell her, and it was showing.

You had been drawing back and becoming reserved around Mallory over the past couple days, and it would be naive to say she didn’t notice. You knew she noticed but you two were just avoiding the topic.

Today was starting out as another typical morning for you. You and Mallory both got up, got dressed and were prepping to go downstairs to have another boring, dull day. Even though you had been distancing yourself from her you still waited to walk downstairs with her, and make small talk atleast. You atleast owed her that much.

You watched Mallory come out of the bathroom that was connected to your room, and shut the door. You stood up and approached your bedroom door; getting ready to leave but you felt a small hand touch your shoulder instead and stop you.

“(y/n), wait”.

You turned around and met Mallory’s sad honey colored eyes. It wasn’t just her eyes that seemed sad though, you could even hear it her voice. Something was wrong.

“Can we talk”?

She asked and you immeaditly nodded as you two both sat down on her bed. You couldn’t help but remember how last time you two sat on her bed to talk it was to discuss how you found out Micheal was your soulmate.. it seemed like only bad news was revealed on this bed.

“Yeah of course”.

You replied and took a deep breath and continued to keep talking instead of letting her talk.

“But it’s not fair to you Mallory that you have to be the one to initiate this conversation.. I.. Ive been hiding something”.

You spoke softly as you bit your lip. You could feel a pit in your stomach start to form as you did not want to continue to have this conversation with her but you knew you had too. You really shouldn’t have been keeping this information from her for so long in the first place. You noticed Mallory started to sit up a bit straighter as her eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. Her mouth opened like she was about to start talking when you cut her off once again.

“I hurt Madison”.

Your words came out shakily, and you made sure to utter them out as a whisper so that none of your sisters could hear. The only thing you really became conscious of was your breathing and your heart beating in your chest. Everything else in the world seemed completely silent and irrelevant. It was as if the world had paused for a couple of seconds until Mallory chose to speak again.

“Madison? How? Why-“

She looked awfully confused as she spoke, and the words seemed to come out quickly. As if she thought the faster she spoke the faster you would give her an answer.

“I didn’t mean too but Micheal wasn’t there at all at first, it was Madison and it was my only option - she would’ve killed me”.

“So it was self defense”?

Mallory asked, the confused expression she wore ealier melted away and now was replaced with a much more stoic and cold look. However, it still held a touch of softness. She had to know deep down that you wouldn’t do something like this unless it was absolutely necessary.. right?

“Yes! I would never hurt her otherwise and you should know that! I wouldn’t hurt a fly”.

You replied and this was when Mallory gave you a small smile and rubbed your shoulder gently with her hand.

“I know (y/n) it’s just I don’t want you to get in trouble. Maybe we should tell Cordelia”?

Mallory offered as she drew her hand back from you.

“There’s no way I could tell Cordelia, Mallory. You know that this whole situation would just stress her out even more than she already is. I feel like she already thinks that I can’t pull the whole ‘seduce Michael’ scheme off. This would just add fuel to the fire, you know”?

You asked her, biting your lip in frustration.

“No, your right. I’m sorry, I just- this whole thing is so complicated. It would just be nice to have a easy solution to all of this”.

Mallory replied with a giggle and a small smile. She looked at you and looked at the floor as if she was deep in thought, and when you got a look in her eyes - you saw a glimmer of adventure and playfulness in her eyes. It was the same glimmer that was in her eyes when you first met her - it was what drew you to her initially. Mallory turned her head back up to look at you and this time she was grinning.

“So your telling me that your powers are stronger than Madison’s? Because you look unscathed”.

She continued and you took a deep breath.

“I- yeah. That’s another thing.. I think seeing Micheal for the first time set something off inside of me because I have these crazy powers, Mallory. I- I stopped Michael from hurting me. I dont know exactly how but I did. Each day my powers seem to be growing and I don’t want to burden anyone else with this information so.. I just feel helpless”.

You ranted. You felt incredibly guilty as you spoke, you knew you were implying that you would be the next supreme but that’s not what you wanted. You didn’t want to be supreme. You didn’t want to take that away from Mallory, your best friend.

“I know your meant to be the next supreme and I would never want to take that away from you-“

You continued to talk but Mallory hugged you and before you realized it you stopped talking. You sat there on the bed speechless. You looked at the patch of sunlight that was in the room since the light was turned off and the curtains were drawn. You supposed noticing this ray of sun was a sign - a sign that things would finally get better and that Mallory would drag you out of this weird funk you’ve found yourself in the past couple days. Then Mallory started to speak,

“Don’t ever think that your taking something away from me. I never really wanted to be supreme anyway I mean, that’s a lot of responsibility and.. I don’t know (y/n) but maybe your not supreme. If your powers are really growing at the rate you said they were then wouldn’t Cordelia’s powers be dying out? And Cordelia’s powers haven’t been affected that I’ve noticed”.

By the time she was finished talking, Mallory stopped hugging you and was looking at you dead in the eyes. The patch of sunlight seemed to hit her and highlighted her dark brown eyes, making them look golden and honey brown. They were beautiful. She was beautiful.

But now was not the time to ogle at Mallory’s beauty; you knew she had a point. Cordelia was constantly teaching and preforming her powers, it would be obvious if her powers started to deplete.

“Yeah but what would that even mean? Would that mean I’m like some other entity like Micheal is? I mean, damn maybe I’m not even a witch at all”.

You were thinking outloud at this point. You crossed your arms gently as you started to get deep in thought. What the fuck would that even mean if you weren’t a witch? How many entities were there that even had ‘magical’ powers? And how would that even really make sense anyway? Your powers really only advanced so rapidly once you met Michael, before that you were just like any other witch. If you really were a entity or something, wouldn’t your powers manifested immeaditly? Plus, you think you would’ve noticed if you really were a demon or some shit.

“Well don’t jump to conclusions I mean, if you really want to know if your a witch you should talk to Cordelia. She would know. Taking the seven wonders wouldn’t be a horrible idea either”.

“Yeah.. maybe after this whole ordeal with Micheal is over though”.

It was nearly as if a lightbulb was turned on in Mallory, she suddenly lit up when you mentioned Micheals name and her mouth even dropped open slightly.

“I totally forgot about Micheal! What happened with Micheal when you met him? How did he not hurt you”?

She questioned and you licked your lips before you continued.

“Take a guess”.

You said with a smirk. It was as if she read your mind because she seemed to know immeaditly what you were talking about. She knew that you were implying that your powers were stronger than Michaels.

“No way! We need to tell Cordelia”!

Mallory’s face continued to light up but you simply shook your head.

“I cant, Mallory. I really can’t”.

You replied softly, trying to stifle a laugh. It made you happy to know that Mallory didn’t reject you or the idea that you might possibly be supreme. However the idea that you perhaps weren’t even fucking human at all overwhelmed you - to say the very least. For now, you were trying to ignore that little detail though.

“Well if your stronger than Micheal than there’s no reason to stay cooped up then, is there”?

“But the coven and Cordelia still need to think that nothing changed. They don’t even know that I met Micheal-“

“We’re going out tonight whether you like it or not. It’s a Friday, and no one will notice if we sneak out.. we deserve a nice night out stress free”.

She replied and you couldn’t help but agree to it. She had a point, it felt purely stupid now to hide away in Robichaux’s when you really had nothing to fear.. even if Micheal did show up, you were stronger than him.. when it came to him hurting you though. Who knows if you would be able to stop his powers if he tried to hurt someone else, like god forbid, Mallory. The odds of Micheal actually showing up tonight in Lousiana were slim to none though. Most likely the fucker was cooped up in his crazy expensive penthouse back in L.A.

But after all you deserved to have a nice night out. You deserved this.

~

It wasn’t hard to find a house party to go to on a Friday night in Lousiana.. it was nearly laughable at how easy it truly was. It was getting close to midnight and you and Mallory had just arrived, parking the black SUV about a block away from the party you two planned on ‘crashing’.

The house was huge, and college students decorated the yard and flooded the house - making the once spacious area seem cramped and tiny as you walked through the yard and then into the house with Mallory. Mallory led the way as she held your hand as to not get lost as you two had to push through people to find drinks.

It was difficult to be completely certain but with the limited decor you noticed on the walls, the house seemed to be a frat house which explained why all the boys looked like jocks and why all the females seemed to be dressed in minimal clothing. You and Mallory both sported black dresses, hers was long and flowy and fell to about her knees while your dress hugged your body a lot more and ended mid thigh.

You two looked like you belonged here, like you were a part of the party scene but you really weren’t. This was the first time you and Mallory had ever been to be a place like this... from what you heard - this seemed to be more of Madison’s scene. You know she frequently visited frat houses - probably even this one atleast once.

Thinking about Madison put a bad taste in your mouth - it made you incredibly sad. The image of how Madison’s body looked when you threw her against the wall played in your mind but you were quickly brought out of your thoughts when Mallory handed you a cup. You took a sniff of it and sure enough, whatever the substance was DEFINITELY had alcohol in it. You tried not to think to hard about what the substance exactly was before you completly chugged it. Mallory merely gawked at you.

“Your gonna get sick if you keep drinking that fast”!

Mallory yelled at you, you could barely hear her through the blasting music and all of the people talking. You simply giggled at her before replying.

“I’ll be right back”!

You yelled as you turned around, on a mission to find where the rest of the booze was. Of course you didn’t see where Mallory got your booze from in the first place, and it was fucking impossible to see where the kitchen was when you were literally shoulder to shoulder with strangers from how packed this house was.

You swear you could already feel the effects of the alcohol because you knew normally you would be gagging at the smell the house reeked of. It could be best described as pure sweat and maybe unwashed underwear?

You were pleasantly surprised to find that when you next opened your mouth, it was words that came out and not vomit. You didn’t even look to see who was next to you when you spoke; there were so many people in this god damn house - someone was bound to hear you. You had wandered off from Mallory as well, you couldn’t see her anymore but you really weren’t worried at the moment.

“Excuse me, do you know where there keeping the alcohol”?

You tapped the person who was next to you on the shoulder lightly.

The person had their back turned to you and as soon as you actually had time to look at them - you felt as if you had been stabbed square in the chest with fear.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

The person you tapped wore a full black outfit with hands crossed behind their back, and their fingers were adorned with several expensive looking rings. Their hair was a curly, beautiful, golden blonde that seemed to rest around their head like a nest or halo of some sort. You just knew that all of these features seemed to hauntingly familiar to you. Too familiar.

Your mouth fell open as you tried to back up but you ended up stepping on someone’s foot, you were trapped. This time, if it really was him, you didn’t have the luxury of running away like you did on the previous meeting. You didn’t know if it was worse to be alone with him or to be stuck with him in a room full of people. Hopefully you were just over reacting and this was just a doppelgänger at best.

The person (who you were hoping wasn’t Micheal) finally sauntered around to face you, you couldn’t help but continue to gawk at them with your mouth wide open. You knew if you continued to keep your mouth open you would surely attract flies so you managed to close your mouth.

You realized this person was wearing a light black cape with two golden claspes on each side with a golden chain running between the two claspes. You couldn’t help but briefly think how expensive those claspes probably were - fuck. All it took was for you to look up and meet his icy blue eyes. Fuck, those eyes. Once you pulled yourself out of the trance his eyes seemed to put you in, you then realized who you were staring at... oh no.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck fuck!!

“I don’t, I was actually just looking for the drinks myself. Care to search with me”?

You stood there as he spoke, completly fucking baffled. You forgot you had even talked to him at all ealier, but he sure didn’t seem surprised to see you. Weird. It was almost as if he knew you were going to be here, but how was that even possible? He wore a smug smirk on his face while your thoughts started to race at one hundred miles per hour.

You tried to make it look less apparent that you were so shocked; it looked like he was getting off on the fact that you looked caught off guard. You didn’t know too much about him but you knew he had a thing for control and manipulation; and you weren’t about to let Langdon control you anymore than he already had.

“Wait.. What? What the fuck are you even doing here”?

You asked and threw your hands up in the air in frustration. The sheer hatred and anger you held in your voice got the attention of a few people who stood close to you but they quickly lost interest.. thank god.

You went to this party with the intention of finally letting go of fear and being able to be free and yet you ran into the person that you were dreading would be there. You felt incredibly angry that he took this night away from you, a night where you could just let go and have fun but now that was fucking gone.

It was odd how he wasn’t scared to confront you when he knew you were stronger than he is. It’s as if he got off on having control over you and your life, and even how you felt.. And you were so fucking over it. It was so fucking sick.

“I could easily ask you the same, couldn’t I”?

Micheal responded. Instead of yelling to talk to you, you noticed that he kept moving in closer and closer to talk to you and you were still trapped. You could feel your palms starting to itch with inticipation, waiting for the right moment to use your powers to attack - if it came to that but that was the absolute last resort. You were surrounded by way too many people to just use your powers freely like in the abandoned house you two had met in previously.

“You don’t own me Micheal. I’m sick of feeling like you control me, I feel like I’m not even in charge of my own emotions or actions anymore. And now when I finally try to have a night to forget about you, you fucking show up. So let me ask you again, what are you fucking doing here”?

You hissed. You kept your voice a little low, still yelling but not quite at the volume that would catch other people’s attention. You made sure to look right into Micheals eyes as you spoke, you wanted to show him you weren’t scared. There was no reason to cower from him anymore.

Micheal smirked as he glanced over his shoulder, as if he was making sure no one was picking up on your conversation. There was so many fucking people here, it was really hard to tell if any of them were purposely listening in or not. And even if they were listening, it probably just sounded like you two were exes that happened to run into eachother at a party.

“I’m here for the same reason you are. To forget about all of the bullshit that’s happened within this past week. So, C’Mon lets go take shots”.

Micheal said and actually grabbed your hand. Your mouth dropped once again as soon as he touched you, your not sure if it was from pure surprise or disgust.. maybe both? Your first instinct was to take back your hand and you tried to - you really did but the fucker seemed to have cat like reflexes and he caught your hand before you could yank it away too far.

You thought the first time you would touch your soulmate you feel sparks or fireworks and maybe even butterflies but when Micheal touched you, and was even leading you through the crowd now - you felt nothing of the sort.

You felt regret, nausea, and if anything it felt like you had almost been electrocuted when he touched you. And not in a good way.

He was moving through the crowd pretty damn fast, and he wasn’t really holding your hand - more so grabbing onto your wrist as if you were a kid who was about to be punished. You tried to slide your wrist out of his grip but he wouldn’t fucking let go, and it was really starting to hurt. You stumbled behind him and he continued lugging you through the crowd and to the kitchen; where there was definetly still a crowd but it was more dispersed and there was actually room to breathe. It was a little bit quieter here too, the music a little bit distant and the crowd was more sparse. It wasn’t nessacary to scream here to talk but you chose to anyway for your next sentence because you wanted to make sure he fucking heard you.

“Micheal let go”!

You yelled, you still couldn’t work your wrist free so you took your other hand to pry Micheals hand free off of you.

You noticed people were staring at you two - you didn’t look to see but you could feel their eyes on you. Micheal must’ve sensed that you two were getting attention because he finally let go of your fucking wrist. Ow. He might’ve let go because you were also digging your nails into his skin as well.

You rubbed your wrist which was now red as you frowned deeply. Even though your wrist was really just irritated and not actually injured; you still chose to put your other hand over your wrist and heal it. It’s not like anyone would notice, you doubted even Michael noticed what you were doing. However, What you really wanted to do was to continue to yell at Micheal but you knew you couldn’t do that now, espically since you just got people to stop staring. You cleared your throat.

“What the hell is this all about Micheal? Are you out of your mind”?

You hissed, glaring daggers at him as you spoke. You hurt Madison, why was he not furious with you? It made no fucking sense. And he wanted to take shots with you?? What??

You don’t know what exactly you were so mad about honestly, because this point it was fucking everything. You don’t know if it was the fact that he was trying to pretend everything was okay when it obviously fucking wasn’t, or the fact he was expecting you to just forget all of the bad blood that was between you too? Who knew at this point.

You waited for him to talk but instead he moved toward the counter to pour shots, you assumed since he was so hellbent on you two drinking together. You wouldn’t be surprised if he poisoned your drink honestly but something about Michael today seemed desperate, and sad. He really seemed like he was trying to get on your good side; maybe you were just reading him wrong but you felt like you could trust him tonight.

Michael didn’t even bother to turn around to reply to you; he kept his focus on the alcohol and not even making eye contact as he spoke.

“I told you, I’m done fighting”.

He said. He nearly slammed the alcohol bottle down onto the counter and he turned to look at you as he kept speaking. He first handed you your shot which happened to be clear in a tiny red plastic cup. You stared at the fluid in the cup suspiciously, and then you looked back up at Michael. You figured you would watch him drink his shot first before you had yours.

“The more I try to distance myself from you, the more I just end up getting fucking nowhere so I’m done trying to run away from you. Whenever I try to push you away someone ends up getting hurt, so It’s not worth it.. bottoms up”.

Micheal took his shot and downed it within seconds and slammed it back down on the counter. You noticed he was already reaching for the bottle to fill up his glass again. You continued to keep holding onto your cup absentmindedly as you watched Michael pour himself another glass. You couldn’t help but to notice how whenever he spoke tonight there seemed to be a desperation in his voice, it was as if he had given up. It almost made you feel bad for him.. almost.

You had to remind yourself who he was, and what his ultimate goals were. The only reason he was sad and angsty tonight was because he couldn’t manipulate you or use his powers against you, it wasn’t because he cared or felt any kind of empathy for you. It stung and hurt for you to acknowledge that but you knew you couldn’t let his charm cloud your judgement.

You already had a drink ealier but you figured this tiny shot wouldn’t hurt, being tipsy around Micheal couldn’t be TOO risky.. After all Michael seemed to be pretty cozy with drinking around you. You downed your shot and pull your small plastic cup back onto the table; assuming Micheal would fill it for you since he was still holding the bottle of alcohol.

You were about to speak but instead you heard someone else speak up and talk to Micheal instead.

“Why are you even taking shots? You might as well just drink the whole bottle at this point”.

It was an all too familiar voice, you whipped your head around and you saw Mallory. You exhaled and grinned, you were never happier to see another human being in your fucking life.

It’s not like you were alone with Micheal, you were surrounded by people but you felt alone. Micheal could do whatever he wanted to you here because you couldn’t use your powers. You felt isolated and alone but now with Mallory here? You were getting the fuck out. Nothing could stop you now.

You were surprised Mallory made such a snide remark to the damn antichrist of all people.. I mean she knew who he was.. right?

Micheal at first smirked, and then he full on laughed - it was like he was trying to hold it in at first. He was defintly feeling the alcohol you could only assume. You’d never seen him laugh before... you couldn’t decipher whether it was a true laugh or a sarcastic one from being challenged.

“Your right. I guess I will”.

Micheal announced, he placed his shot glass on the table and even slid it across. Your not sure if it slid naturally or if he used a bit of his magic - a quick glance around told you that no one seemed to notice or care execpt you.

He started to chug the bottle which happened to be a pretty big fucking bottle of Absolute Vodka. You watched his throat as his Adam’s apple continued to bob as he swallowed.. and swallowed and swallowed. You and Mallory’s mouth both dropped open, you didn’t know what the fuck to do. You both looked at eachother in shock as you watched the amount of liquid in the bottle start to grow smaller and smaller.

He was defintly going to get sick at this rate, and be drunk off his fucking ass. Yes, you hated him and wanted him dead but not like this. Choking on his own vomit and dying drunk and alone would be a fucking awful death; even for the antichrist. And lucky for him you actually gave a shit about people and their feelings.

You knew Cordelia’s ideal end game would be to have Micheal dead as soon as possible but if you could help it Micheal wasn’t going to die tonight. You would rather it be a quick and painless death if he had to die; dying by being drunk would not quick and painless. And on the other hand, Mallory didn’t even know this was Micheal yet. You assumed she probably thought this was just some guy you stumbled across - which wasn’t a totally wrong assumption. You brought your attention back to the man in front of you; who was still fucking drinking, the bottle was nearly empty.

“Hey! Stop”!

You hissed at Micheal. You gripped the end of the bottle and yanked it away from him - he had a damn good grip didn’t he?

The bottle was at least three quarters empty, fuck. You noticed Mallory gave you a weird look when you yelled at Micheal but you only did so cause you didn’t want to randomly name drop him, you figured they could have a (semi) proper introduction.

You still held onto the bottle as you shifted glances between Mallory and Micheal. You pointed at each of them with the bottle you held as you said their names.

“Mallory, this is Micheal. Micheal, this is Mallory”.

Mallory, who was staring at you before, instantly snapped her head toward Michael as her eyes grew wide. It was as if she was trying to convince herself that what you had just said wasn’t true. She looked completly panicked, in fact you could nearly feel the anxiety radiating off of her like how you would feel the heat rising off of a hot stove.

“This is Micheal”?!

Mallory asked in a panicked whisper. You merely nodded quickly. Micheal on the other hand looked purely amused, and swayed in place dangerously. If he wasn’t drunk before, he definitely was now. you had no doubt in your mind that he was reading and taking in all her thoughts right now, if he wasn’t too drunk to use his powers anyway. You weren’t drunk, maybe just a little tipsy at most but you could still feel the strength of your powers swirling inside you. Being intoxicated definitely had no effect on the strength of your powers - that was good to know. Michaels blue eyes flickered from watching Mallory to meeting your gaze.

You knew no one else execpt maybe Mallory was staring at you but you felt under the spotlight under Micheals gaze, almost like how a bug would feel right before being squashed. You started to sweat and shift uncomfterably in place. You felt even more uncomfterable as he spoke.

“Is this your new normal now? Do you always keep a posey of witches around you wherever you go? How about you just introduce me to rest”.

Micheal mused, you nearly screeched when he said the word ‘witches’ outloud. Even though he looked obviously drunk, his words came out smoother than silk - not stumbling on his words once. You found it odd Michael didn’t even bother addressing Mallory, not even respecting her enough to look her in the eyes. You assumed he knew she was a witch from reading her thoughts, or maybe he could just sense it. This seemed to piss you off any more of that was even possible. He could at least pretend to be civil.

“Micheal, What is your problem? Im not scared of you”.

You snarled, you stepped closer to him, just a foot away from his face as you stared him in the eyes. Even though you felt insanely nervous doing this, you knew Micheal couldn’t hurt you. You just needed to show him that you were in control for once. Not him.

You felt Mallory’s soft hand on your bicep, very gently pulling your arm back. You knew she was scared that you or Michael would start fighting.

“(y/n), we need to go”.

You heard her say. Micheal still had a smug smile on his lips and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it clean off.

You backed off though, you took a couple steps back and turned to Mallory; your back now to Michael. As you spoke, you felt Micheal tug on the bottom of the bottle you still held - trying to take it back - but you gently tugged it back. He was already drunk out of his mind, no fucking way he was having more.

“I can’t leave him like this, he’s going to get himself killed”.

You explained to Mallory, frowning. It’s not like you wanted to spend tonight babysitting Micheal but you couldn’t trust him to be by himself.. even if he was acting like a asshole and purposefully trying to piss you off. You could tell Mallory was about to protest by the look on her face but you spoke instead.

“Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine. Go home, I’m gonna stay with him”.

“There’s no way I’m going to let you do that, what if he hurts you”?!

“I’m not worried, I’m stronger than him. Plus he’s drunk, the only one he’s in danger of hurting right now is himself”.

You said with a giggle. Mallory quickly took a couple steps toward you and bear hugged you. You hugged her back and you could barely make out the words,

“Be careful. I’m gonna head back”.

You gave Mallory a somber smile as you watched her melt back into the sea of people as she left the kitchen. You turned your attention back to the drunk bafoon you had the pleasure of babysitting tonight.

You caught him dancing embarrassingly bad and trying to lip sync to whatever hip hop song was playing.. you could only laugh as you walked over to him.

After pick pocketing his phone from his back pocket of his jeans, you quickly got you two a Uber to wherever the hell Michael was staying this time.

You could only hope it was another nice penthouse like how his one in L.A. was.

While holding his phone; you didn’t mean to snoop or go through anything execpt the Uber app (which you downloaded) but.. a message notification popped up.

A quick glance at Michael told you that he wasn’t paying attention, the dumbass was too drunk to even notice you took his phone in the first place.

You looked over back at his phone and first noticed the message was from Madison, and then you noticed what the message even was.. a photo. It looked to be a photo of.. oh my god.

Was that Madison? Was that a fucking nude? Your mouth opened and your shut his screen off, you immeaditly handed his phone back over to him which he reluctantly took with a confused puppy look.

By how Michael was talking ealier you thought that maybe he wanted to make mends but if he still had this kind of relationship with Madison, what did it even mean? What did any of this mean? You saw first hand though how in love he was with her. He wasn’t just going to break up with her, you should’ve known that.

You shook your head, atleast you knew you had a lot to think about tonight.

Taglist: @mindlesschicca @mina672 @guiltyfiend @michaellangdonstanaccount @9layerdevilsfoodcake

[weaselbeaselpants]

That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 3

The last of the images cause I don’t want this bitch on my computer anymore. 

Knowing tumblr I kept the images hidden JUUUUST in case no one reads the fine print and can’t tell I’m being critical of this and gets me in trouble.

VVV ((Just in case you thought the JewishGriffon piece assured everyone that Crispy couldn’t POSSIBLY hate people of color, some of her earliest Nazi art had her character Klaus beating up Amigo Bear. She also made Amigo into a liberal strawman. )) VVV

((Dialogue to one of her TROLLARIOUS pictures that featured Amigo:

Amigo Bear: *muttering* "Your leader was a !@#$% little #@%^!@$^*!, you fascist feather duster..." General Klaus: "Fräulein, Ich vant you to cover your ears und shut your eyes as tight as you can." Crispy: "How come, General?" General Klaus: "Klaus ist about to say und do very bad sings zhat he does not vant his little Edelweiß to see or hear." Crispy: "Alrighty!" General Klaus: "WHO SAID ZHAT ABOUT DER FÜHRER? WER DIE FICK GESAGT? WHO'S ZUH SCHLEIMIG LITTLE COMMUNIST-SCHEISS SCHWANZLUTSCHER DOWN ZHERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH VARRANT? NIEMAND?! GOTTVERDAMMT STALIN SAID IT! HERVORRAGEND! VHICH VUN OF YOU VANTS TO BE ZUH FIRST TO FIND OUT ZUH HARD VAY VHY MEIN FEINDE CALLED MIR DER BUTCHER BIRD?" ))

^^^ ((BUTOPHERARTISGOODSOYOUCAN’TCOMPLAIN

also the disc. for this pic before it was deleted had a ‘joke’ about cooking Jews in ovens. Oh and yes, that IS Hitler she’s giving that ugly ass cupcake too.))

^^^ (( - Thanks dA I never would have known I had a notifications unless eclipse blah -

This is one of her rants about how #Triggered she is that Starlight be compared to the Nazis when she runs a communist cult. Because A) that’s the real problem here and B) I too get upset when people say my OC is based on Jeffrey Dahmer when he’s so CLEARLY based on Ed Gein, Bwwwaaaah D> D> D> !)) ^^^

VVV ((Ugly art of her friend’s awful OCs.)) ^^^

VVV ((Crispy showing off why no one wants to be a patriot in our country.)) VVV

((FYI, Crisp, that attitude will make the Hamilton fans stronger so just keep that SJW-flinging coming you little SJW.

WHAT?! Social Justice is a broad term and as Crispy’s plainly demonstrated, you can circle it around and make a majority-class sound like the real underprivledged if you have enough fancy frou frou know-how and furries. Also, if a Social Justice Warrior constitutes someone who takes their cause soooo seriously that they’re annoying/petting/cruel/stupid about it....idk I think Crispy qualified.))

^^^ ((Crispy and her friend muse about what other races occupy the world of MLP in her headcanon. This, more than any other dA disc. and picture shows you her brand of “Segregationist-Nationalism is OKAY” thinking, cuz the art of these different races isn’t super offensive or cruel and neither are the characters. BUT if you scratch under the surface you’ll find that Crispy really likes these different people staying in their place and not in “someone else’s” country.

THEN, this same kind of thinking is used to convince you any mix of cultures is just cultural appropriation, again acting like she and her Nazi-stans are the only ones standing up to actual bigotry.)) VVV

^^^ ((Crispy makes the world a worse place by bringing up actual decent points; like how Americans dress Thanksgiving up as progressive and for the natives when we all know that’s not true...all to better her worldview.

fyi, GET OUT whenever you see a selfproclaimed Nazi fawn over Native Americans, because: Nazi Germany had a deep fascination with American Indians and used their struggles about their land being taken away from them to justify their eugenic genocide.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy laughing it up on Furaffinity how she couldn’t be banned from her Furaffinity and then mysteriously never using her site there wowie.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy complaining about SOPA cause her freedom of speech and blahblahblah.

Freedom of Speech is important. Unfortunately what people like Crispy don’t understand or care for is there’s no freedom of consequence. )) vvv

VVV ((LOL Joseph Mengele was such a stinkah let’s tell blithe jokes about him. At least WE AREN’T LIKE HIM!!!)) VVVV

VVV ((Early onset eugenic BS from her Spyro stuff that would be easy to miss if you didn’t know what this woman was talking about)) VVV

((Crispy admitting she thinks gays are pointless cuz they don’t reproduce but apparently loves them anyway. Also big shock Crispy’s seen Hetalia.)) VVV

VVV ((Crispy probably wanting Weeaboos to attack her cuz aren’t Japan’s animations so laaaaaaazy?!!?!? GUUdd think’ I’m a naziaboo! Germany’s never made any shitty animation evah. You know what, I lied. She doesn’t deserve Hetalia. She just doesn’t.)) VVVV

VVV ((Crispy dragging Brazil down with her as the apparent “Best South American Country”. Yikes.)) VVV

VVV ((More “it’s trolling ergo it’s not harmful” shit. Bulgarians probably do deserve their own Care Bears, but they certainly don’t want yours Crispy.)) VVV

VVV ((Disc. for her Richard Spencer bear art)) VVV

------

I know, I know...this isn’t what you wanted to read today, guys. I know it’s offensive and I’m sorry if it made you ill. I also know I’m putting my own blog under fire by showing these images here but I think that should say something about dA’s bad policies that this art gets a filter slapped on it and nothing more when the artist is blatantly pro-fascist.

Crispy resonates with me so much - and no it’s not cause I DARED to be “triggered”.

It’s because, for one, she was talented. I MEAN I HAVE EYES! That’s some nicely drawn digital stuff I’m not gonna deny. She had some cool rewrites and sequel ideas that, had it come from someone else I would have eaten up and faved to hell and back onceupona2012. But I didn’t, where a ton of MLP and furry fans did because they undervalued their own talents and would say “well it’s pretty who cares about the message?” 

Unlike so many commercial+published artists, it’s REALLY hard to separate the art from the artist here because the artist is so connected and a part of her art and storytelling. If you fav her art, even if you didn’t like her, that was telling Crispy she’d won. It’s so defeating to have other artists say their gonna ignore their gut for the sake of prettypretty-Don-Bluth style art. And yes, that stigma DOES affect my view on 2D purists btw.

Crispy was so holier than thou’, and that attitude also was appealing to dA folks, not to mention her knowledge of art history by the time she dropped off the radar. Crispy was the kind of person who’d make long, detailed, justified rants against the design and color choices in Hazbin Hotel and then a bunch of antis would eat her redesigns up only to learn the awful truth later and embarrass themselves cuz they were so taken up by the craft they didn’t know they were reblogging a fucking Nazi.

Not to underplay Viv’s wrongdoings of course, but I’m sorry; the two aren’t comparable on the problematic artist meter. THAT’S HOW BAD CRISPY WAS.

If this somehow was just a faze and she’s come to her senses or doesn’t really think this shite she preaches...I don’t care. She said some vile shit and fuck no I’m not forgiving her. It’s like KenDraw or Shadman. You’ve changed your life around and realized you’ve done/drawn nasty shit that’s done real harm? Cool....I’m still not talking or ever promoting you, ya dingbat. You ain’t no Roman Polanski or Doug Tennaple. You’re a singular internet artist and any support of the project has to go to you - and you suck!

ThisCrispyKat was a wakeup call that showed me these people not only still exist but will be allowed to get away with it. I was very touchy bout this kind of thing back in the day. Fuck, I STILL AM TOUCHY. The rabbit holes I found thanks to Crispy opened up to reveal communities where people think my hair color’s going extinct. People would detail how much they wanted to rape me - a natural blonde - and kill my friends and family for not looking like me. That they want to jerk off in my naturally curly hair and see me in glowy German princess gowns preparing them dinner.

Crispy and other Nazistans would look at me; a blond-haired blue eyed Polish/German American woman and think I need to be “fixed” because I DARE to repeat propaganda that the Nazis were bad. They’d call me a traitor for thinking that celebrating the Nazi party ISN’T German pride.

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT’S GERMAN PRIDE! I’LL SHOW YOU GERMAN PRIDE YOU EGOSTROKING-LIMPDICKED ATTENTION WHORES.

People like Crispy make it 1000x harder to actually show interest in German things. Because I AM interested in German shit btw.

Like for real: it’s a country I’d love to visit one day (at least the black forest, which is where my mom’s fam comes from). I love German art and German fairytales slap. I really do want to explore my heritage through art and stuff.

But guess what? Much as Crispy would argue to the contrary I DO know my WWII history and beyond and FUCK YOU if you honestly think jerking it to cuddly Nazi-furs is empowering or just “showing your interest in history”. Take your own advice and read a god-damn book.

TL;DR: I DO NOT have to be proud of Nazis to enjoy German culture and if you think otherwise, FUCK YOU. It’s a slap in the face to everyone even if you are ‘just trolling’ and it in no way values actual German’s feeling on the matter. It’s annoying how people undervalue real people just for the sake of fan art.

The Nazis were evil. They were racist, eugenic-genocidal idiots who killed over six million Jewish people, Romani, Slavs, Jehovahs Witnesses, disabled people, Poles, homosexuals and prisoners of war. They would have killed my dad’s side of the family if they were in Poland at the time. They made bullshit tanks that killed the people making them and didn’t work on the battlefield. Their leader was a fat, farting one-testicaled bastard who preferred animals to people.

They ruined everything for everyone and then took the easy way out, leaving the Germans that were left in the hands of the also-genocidal Soviets and Americans. Germany is still paying their war debts and now, 70-80 years later everyone else wants to laugh off this dark period of history with memes and forget what they did, and as such, are forgetting the victims of the genocide.

I have 0 tolerance for Nazi things for the sake of HUMANITY, let alone the individual groups they target. I don’t have to have German ancestry or know a single Jewish person to tell you any of this. It’s fucking history.

Eat shit.

[seasonsofchange]

you say you will leave the spn fandom because of all the toxicity and then you go around and reblog stuff with your positivity shtick. that's being more than passive-agressive. and fake. i guess you're just not capable of expressing any opinion of your own except that you liked the finale. and you're obsessed with the winchesters. because fuck cas right?

Lol, okay. I just about had it. I'm gonna answer this one and then I'm gonna turn off the anon asks, close my inbox. Listen, I really don't need to justify myself to any of you for having an opinion, but here we are. Once you all read this, please do me a favor and block me or unfollow if you disagree or want to fight more. Firstly – I said that I'm thinking about staying of tumblr for a while, and in the tags I've mentioned that I'm thinking about blacklisting the Supernatural tag because of all the negativity and toxicity. In the end I didn't, because guess what – I don't come to tumblr only for Supernatural stuff.  Secondly – my positivity shtick? What the hell. I mentioned that in one tag (I actually had to go look for it), and it meant that I'm keeping the positive things I pulled or got from the finale and keeping it to myself. It is MY positivity. I didn't try to force it on anyone. Thirdly – I'm obsessed with the Winchesters. ... I don't even know how to answer this one. I am not obsessed with them, I have a Winchester preference, if you want to name it that way. I like Cass as a character, I do. And I love Misha. I just connected with the Winchesters more and that's my personal choice. I have faves in every show or movie I watch. In Supernatural, Sam and Dean are my faves. I have never said and will never say „fuck Cass“. I do not hate his character for fucks sake. And yeah, I am not a Destiel shipper so I'm not as invested in him or his connection to Dean as some of the people are, but that does not mean I was happy when he died or whatever else has happened to him throughout the show. On the matter of my opinion, fine. Here you go: I liked 15x19, even though the solution for dealing with God was a bit silly to me and maybe just... too easy? But hey, it happened and I liked the aftermath of it and the boys saying to him: You will grow old and you will be forgotten. Because that's a popular opinion in the old tales and myths etc., that that is the reason why there aren't any gods anymore. It's also basically in canon of the show? Remember the Paris Hilton episode? Remember the episode with all the other gods when Gabriel dies? Yeah. The thing with Jack being a power vacuum was messy because it wasn't really set up well, but it kind of worked. I've dealt with that and moved on. The finale – yes, I liked it. It made me really emotional to the point of ugly crying. I'm glad it did. One of my fears for the finale was that I just wouldn't get it or feel it and that this huge thing that has been a part of my life for the last 10+ years will just leave me feeling nothing. Luckily that did not happen. I've always had two ways the show could end in my head: 1. Sam and Dean being a sort of mentor figures to other hunters, like Bobby was to them. But still doing hunts, and basically riding off into the sunset in the Impala – because they have work to do. 2. Heaven ending. Yep. I was kind of leaning towards this one just because of everything that has happened in the show. There was no way that they both survive the final showdown and get to live happily ever after (even though they deserve it), but they would get to know peace in Heaven and finally be free. We kind off got a mix of both of these points, with them riding off into the sunset at the end of 15x19, and with them ending up in Heaven in 15x20. Some points I've seen thrown around I'm going to address so you can get my opinion as wanted. 1. Dean didn't deserve this ending Yeah, that is the whole fucking point. He did not deserve it and he got it anyway. Because that is just how life works sometimes. It's sudden and unexpected and it really isn't fucking fair. Just because we all love Dean and wanted better to him does not mean he would get it. He got to die by Sam's side, in the arms of someone he loves most in the world, his little brother and he got to say his peace. He was scared but he wasn't alone and he got to say his goodbye. Would I've liked it that both him and Sam got to grow old? Yes. Of course I would! Who wouldn't? But I also really understand this ending for him too. He died in a silly way. I'm sorry, but shall we count how many times they all could have died in an instant when they lose their weapons, get knocked over or pushed or whatever? We got a whole fucking episode about the sudden ways Dean can die (Mystery Spot) and we are still surprised that this could actually happen? It was sudden and unexpected and that was the whole point. One wrong thing happens and you are gone. And this time there is no one to heal you and bring you back because that is what life is. 2. Sam's ending I get this too. Dean made Sam promise, and Sam kept his promise. The woman was not seen properly, it wasn't Eileen etc etc. Also – that was the point. We got little flash-moments of his life to see that he lived it, he kept his promise to Dean. I understand people who are upset it wasn't done well (that wig was really atrocious) or that his wife wasn't Eileen, but I also understand the decision to not put focus on anything but Sam and his son. Concerning both their endings – people are saying – stupid endings because this is what the boys have always wanted or feared and it was exactly what they got. I get even that. What happened to Dean could have happened to him 10 years down the road. It could have happened to Sam. It could not have happened at all. It could have happened so that they both die on the same hunt. But the ending thought is this – they would always be reconnected in Heaven. The long or the short way round would always end up in the same place and this time we got what we got. The thought that they ended up in Heaven with everyone else, that's what counts the most for me. 3. This is a stupid ending Not for me. This is coming back full circle for me. I've read more than one time that this kind of ending negates everything they have done, but I respectfully disagree. They have done a lot. They saved so many people. They won a fight against God and ultimately saved the Earth and made it so that everyone had free will. That is fucking huge and so important and such a big legacy to leave behind, even though basically no one knows about it. And them ending up how they did does not make everything they have achieved any less important. Who they've saved, killed, loved, lost – this ending doesn't make it any less important or stupid. Not for me. 4. They didn't pay homage to any other character on the show ... but they did? At the end of 15x19? I mean, yeah, maybe they could have put Cass or Jack or Donna or Jody at the ending too, or whoever else you want to name, but they didn't. Why? Because ultimately this was a story about two brothers against the world. I understand that decision too, and actually I love it because we got to focus on them for the finale. Do I agree with everything in this season – no. Some things could have been done better. The writing was choppy at times and some things didn't make sense and yes, they could have mentioned stuff and people... But there are worse seasons that this last one, so that's saying a lot. In conclusion - I am allowed to have my opinion. I am allowed to love something even though someone else really hates it. I am even allowed to dislike or hate something that makes someone else really happy. Except I don't go around attacking people in their inboxes for hating on something I love and vice versa, I don't put my anger about a certain ending or a character arc onto others just to feel better. That's being a shitty human. And Supernatural, and so many many many other shows have thought us to not do that. Instead they've taught us (or tried) to be better, do better, to be compassionate and kind. I urge you to do that. Next time you want to rant and accuse and shit all over someone, I kindly ask you to take a breather and think about it, think about what you are doing to others and to yourself.  And do better. That's all I have to say. Take care of yourselves everyone. Be kind.

[surflove808]

Can’t please everyone all the time, and I really don’t want to.  So, um....Hey there, extreme shippers!

I thought to myself, “Everybody is gonna hate me for sure now, because let’s face it - on Tumblr, you’re either on one side or another” apparently.  And I’m on neither.  So, if I lose a lot of followers, I’m cool with that.  You shouldn’t be following me anyway - I’m angry, I curse like a sailor and I don’t make gifs.  I’m just a rant machine at the end of the day, who very occasionally reblogs decent stuff.

Speaking of rants...I saw an big rant tonight about people being upset over the person confronting Jensen at JIBCON about his treatment of Misha that was in defense of the shipper, I think?   I was gonna reblog with my reply, but not worth it.  They don’t deserve to get dogpiled on.  Probably a kid.  And TBH, my response is way harsher than they deserve.

So, here’s my independent thoughts on this nonsense, and I think it applies to Cockles/Destiehellers as well as extreme J2 tinhatters.  I’m so sick of all this shit.  And frankly, some of you are giving me the fucking creeps.  And yessss, I’m tagging you.  How else will you see this?  It’s literally meant FOR YOU.

To a non-shipper like me, scrolling through Tumblr for the past 2 years has been very informative in a bad way when it comes to the whole concept of shipping in this fandom.  I initially thought it was harmless, even beautiful at times, until I started noticing that there was one common denominator (Jensen) and started to realize he was nothing more than the Superbowl ring between the Patriots and the Seahawks with some of you people.  Bottom line (and correct me if I’m wrong) As long as Jensen/Dean is fucking or being fucked by Castiel/Misha or Sam/Jared -  GAME ON.  Battle to the death, using a real, live human being as the prize.  

It really is a prizefight and it feels like if you’re not on one side, you must be on the other.   If I comment negatively on one perspective/bad behavior, I’m a BiBro.  If I swing too far the other way, I’m a “Destiheller”.  For christ’s sake I’M NON-DENOMINATIONAL when it comes to this dumpster fire.  No pun intended.

And some of you are fighting over it.  Really fighting over the rights to who gets to disrespect this guy/character and his family/co-workers/etc based on your fantastical interpretation of his sexual preferences/partners.

No respect for his privacy, his character or his personal capacity to make his own choices free from your Sauron Eye.  Because all that matters is that he’s dicking down with YOUR fave.  I get it - he’s stunning, he’s immensely talented, and let’s face it - he’d have “chemistry” with a cactus.  What’s the deal?  Is reality too much of an emotional stretch?  

This whole BiBros/Wincest/J2 tinhatters vs. Destiel/Cockles nonsense is such a mess. A swampy, shitpile of absurd motivation...I can’t wrap my head around it.  For the record:  I’m pro actor and pro people who can enjoy the show without inserting themselves into the private lives of these actors.  That’s it.  That’s apparently this blog now.  Because I’m so goddamned sick of this farce. 

Let's say that you're really into a t.v. show. Like REALLY into it. You fall in love, become invested and start following the actors via social media and conventions. Eventually you find you have immersed and invested yourself so completely in the professional and personal lives of a few of the actors, that the lines become blurry in your mind between actual fact, your version of the truth, and fanfiction. You feel familiar with them in a way that maybe you would with some of your own friends and family and start to fill in gaps (gaps that exist because you don't actually know these people) by using your vivid imagination. You might even be more invested in the interpersonal relationships of these actors than you are in your own. You want for things to be a certain way so badly, that when they're not (or don't seem to be), you feel personally aggrieved by it.  And fuck anyone who threatens that, be they fellow fans of the show, wives, co-workers, etc. The illusion of familiarity and ownership grows and grows until one day, you convince yourself that these people actually rely on your counsel and opinions with regards to their professional decisions/friendships/relationships, and you feel encouraged by your own (to quote Death) " Inflated sense of self-importance" to confront them or those close to them about perceived slights via social media, or in person at a convention, for example. There will be some support for your endeavor thanks to the shared psychosis you have with your fellow hardcore true believers. The French call it "folie a deux" (but x 1,000). And you will continue to galvanize each other to greater heights when it comes to inserting yourself into the personal lives of these actors. 

If you do this, you'll be a folk hero. People will write songs about you on Tumblr and Twitter! Conversely, there will also be plenty of people saying "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" You will not like these people and you will feel they're only saying that because:

A: They're "haters” or “stans” for one actor more than another B: They "just can't take a joke" C: They're so blinded by hate for one of the actors that it's clouding their judgement. D:  They’re not evolved enough or smart enough to “look below the surface and see what’s REALLY going on”. 

You will continue to double down on your commitment to this "cause" because you haven't yet found a real cause that's worth fighting for. You will not listen to reason, be respectful of boundaries, or logic until you grow up and out of this obsession. It just takes time. I hope. And you will continue to take the SPN "Family" credo so literally, that you think you're in control of mitigating the personal and professional relationships of people who don't actually know you, and who you don’t actually know.  Like - at all. That being said, word on the street is - They DO care, they DO listen, and if some of you who fit the above description have accomplished anything - it's that you're now Crazy Aunt Dolores that no one wants to sit next to at Thanksgiving, but there she is, and somebody has to draw the short straw and listen to her conspiracy theories while trying to digest their turkey.  We’re all trying to be patient with Crazy Aunt Dolores, but that patience is wearing REAL thin.  At least it is for me. I’m already planning on what to wear to her funeral. Bottom line: These guys will continue to live their lives as they see fit, not how you do. You need to find a way to come to terms with that.

Certain fans will continue to twist scenes, words, photos, actions... fuck... even every minor, incidental shot of body language to suit their purposes, and I will continue to be absolutely amazed by the mental gymnastics happening on here that would/could do a world of good elsewhere.  

You can certainly invest more time. Precious energy. Keep devoting yourself to self-soothing by creating a cocoon of delusion when the truth runs contrary to your belief. Keep supporting yourself with as much content as you can find that lines up with your pre-existing notion about these people that are strangers to you. People who are unaware of your existence.  

And I don’t mean that in a crappy way, it’s a big world out there and you mean something to the people in your life - invest in THAT.  Invest in yourself as much as you do in these artificial romances/theories/whatevers and I promise you, I PROMISE you - you’ll be too busy and fulfilled to give a shit anymore. Now, off to take some of my own advice.

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

a language of its own - Day 7

“And the heart is hard to translate, it has a language of its own.”

All the ways Rey and Ben say “I love you”.

Guess who’s back after a brief flu-induced break? Welcome to Day 7 of my 12-day Valentine’s collection! Today’s prompt was a “just checking in” kind of love, so here’s a tiny little ficlet which... has nothing at all to do with the prompt, oops.

12 Days of Valentine’s Also available on AO3 Psst, you can also find me on Twitter and Ko-fi!

Ben ❤️❤️❤️: Canto Bight reps are insisting on an emergency meeting tonight. Don’t wait up for me.

Rey: ugh not those fuckwads again okay baby don’t forget to eat something please good night <3

Ben ❤️❤️❤️: Probably late by an hour or two tonight. Snoke wants to fine-tune my proposal before we meet with Lando tomorrow. Go ahead and have dinner without me.

Rey: ben you’ve been working on that proposal for two months there’s nothing left to fix are you almost done? i’m gonna go ahead and sleep now let me know when you get home ps left some beef and broccoli in the fridge for you

Ben ❤️❤️❤️: Fucking Hux is asking me to stay back today to help him with the Stormtrooper pitch.

Rey stares at Ben’s message for all of ten seconds before she hits the call button. It rings for a while, and she pictures Ben excusing himself from another endless conversation and going off in search of some privacy while she waits for him to pick up.

“Rey?”

She misses his voice. It’s ridiculous because they've been living together for a month now and his is usually the first voice she hears in the morning, but lately she’s been waking up to an empty bed more often than not, lucky to catch even a glimpse of Ben before he rushes out the door in the mornings.

“You’ve worked late all week,” Rey hears herself saying in lieu of a greeting. It’s not an accusation, but she winces at it nonetheless, wishing she had broached the subject in a more tactful way. “Besides,” she adds, trying to soften the blow, “Hux has been a total arsehole to you since forever. Tell him to go fuck himself.”

Ben laughs, and she’s struck by the fact that she can’t remember the last time she’d heard his quiet chuckle. “I wish I could, sweetheart. But,” he sighs, and on the other end of the line Rey’s tempted to do the same; nothing good ever comes after a but. “You know how he is. He’d probably just tattle on me like the six-year-old he actually is, and then I’d have to deal with an hour-long lecture about the importance of teamwork or whatever the fuck from Snoke.”

It’s getting harder and harder to remind herself that Ben chose this, wants this, when even he sounds like he hates his job ninety percent of the time.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” Ben adds before she can go on yet another tirade against his boss. “I know I’ve been away a lot. I’ll be home on time tomorrow, I promise. We can even go out for dinner, if you want.”

“That’d be nice,” Rey agrees with a sigh, knowing even as she does that there’s a non-zero chance of something coming up last minute and keeping Ben from their dinner date tomorrow. She flips through her clipboard as Ben rattles off a list of possible restaurants they could check out tomorrow, noting that she’s only got one car left before she can clock out and head home to their empty apartment.

“Rey? Rey, are you there?”

“Hmm? Yeah, sorry,” she tells him, pushing the clipboard aside. “Got distracted.”

“I should let you get back to work,” Ben says, and the hint of reluctance in his voice is enough to make her smile. “Wait, you’re the one who called me. Was there something you wanted?”

She can’t fault him for asking, not when they stopped calling just for the sake of calling a long time ago. Their calls these days are rushed and purposeful, more often than not just a quick question or two to get confirmation on their weekend plans or whether they need something from the store. “No, I… I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”

A sharp intake of breath crackles over the line, and Rey can see his wince clear as day in her mind. “God, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry, this week’s just been… Fuck, when was the last time we even had a meal together?”

“Dinner on Sunday,” Rey says before she can think better of it, and immediately regrets it in the guilty silence that follows. “No, wait, there was breakfast on Tuesday–” except that barely counted, because Ben had finished his last bit of toast just as Rey padded into the kitchen, and by the time she’d retrieved a bowl and spoon he’d already brushed a kiss goodbye across her forehead and rushed out the door.

“Fuck it,” Ben mutters a beat later. “Fuck it all. I’ll tell Hux I’ve already made plans tonight. If he’s so much better than me I’m sure he can handle a basic pitch on his own, anyway.”

“Baby, I miss you and all but I don’t want you to get into trouble–”

Ben cuts off her protests. “I miss you too, Rey. Which is fucking ridiculous, because we live together. I’m coming home for dinner tonight, I promise.”

He’s going to get into trouble for this. He is definitely going to get into trouble for this, but god if the determination in his voice doesn’t make her want to cry. “I lo-”

“Shit, someone’s coming,” Ben hisses just as she finds her voice, drowning her out with his panic. “I’ve gotta go now, sweetheart. I’ll see you at home, okay? Bye.”

Rey stares at her phone for the longest time after Ben hangs up.

She’d almost said it – just like that, over the phone, without a moment’s pause or consideration or planning. In that moment it’d just felt right, natural even.

That would’ve come to a screeching halt had the words spilled past her lips only to be met by silence. Rey knows Ben would never do that to her, knows he probably loves her too, but…

But maybe she should wait a little while longer, just to be safe.

First of all, sorry for the sudden break in updates. The flu hit me pretty hard a few days ago, and juggling that with work and writing just proved to be a little too much. To make up for it, I'm planning (hoping) to update multiple times throughout the next two days in order to wrap this up by the end of the week.

Second of all, this chapter went a little off the rails. Sorry about that too; I thought I knew where it was headed when I sat down to write it, but Rey and Ben had other ideas. But hey, prompts are ultimately just gentle, guiding hands leading us to the final product, right? Even when said product ends up having nothing at all to do with the prompt...

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. And please don't hesitate to like/reblog/comment, even if it's just going to be a rant about them not saying it yet.