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sweetcatmintea · 5 years ago

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A Stranger’s Malice

Hey! It’s Flash Fiction Friday (finished on Saturday because it got late <.<;;) I didn’t see a prompt this week? So it’s time for a stranger and kid update! This had great dialogue until I opened word.. Anyways, I hope you enjoy spending some more time with this weird pair ^u^ Feedback is my life blood appreciated!

Characters: Stranger and Super Ninja Man

Words: 2608

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4

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If I’m being honest, having a week between the kid starting school and my being called to the principal’s office surprised me. I’d have put my money on the third day mark. Turning the ignition off, I take a moment to just sit before I leave the car. Although it was inevitable, my guts writhe. They’ll continue until I find out why exactly I’ve been called in. If I’m lucky, it’s a Strongly Worded discussion about calling my kid Ninja Man. (I convinced him to drop the Super for school.) If not, well, at least I won’t be worrying about dinner tonight. I sigh. Might as well get it over with.

The school is decent. Not too fancy, not too lacking. After Grace started helping, things have smoothed out a lot more. It helps that she has the benefit of experience here. I didn’t expect her to be so on board with all of this. I should’ve called her sooner. Although, it was probably my desperation that invoked her sympathy so maybe not. Making my way down the concrete path winding through the school grounds, I ignore the noises from the classrooms, focusing more on finding the main office again. It’s strangely difficult to resist the urge to detour and poke my head into the kid’s class. Nerdlet that he is, he’s probably enjoying himself. Hopefully. Ugh, what’s up with all this sap lately? It’s just school.

You can imagine my surprise when, after finally finding the dingy little building tucked into the back corner of the grounds, I let myself in and there was the kid. Slouched uncomfortably in a hard, plastic chair, avoiding the receptionist’s gaze. Not that she was looking at him, lost in a cheap novel. He notices me but keeps his head down, avoiding my eyes as well. His sneakers scuff at the linoleum – ugly, as was custom for administrative standards – while he fidgets with whatever his worried fingers can find.

“Whatcha doin out of class?” My voice startles the receptionist out of her book. She tries to greet me, but she can wait. Something’s up. The kid continues to look anywhere but at me. He frowns into his hands, picking at his nails. The new stains on his shirt collar twinge my chest uncomfortably. I don’t let it show.

“’m in trouble.”

Well. This is interesting. “Out with it then. What you do?” The receptionist is still trying to get my attention. I wave her off, she can go back to her book. I want to hear it from him first.

He huffs. “Jimmy’s an idiot. He kept picking on me and calling me names to I made him stop.”

“You’re gonna have to give me more than that. Means squat to me without details.”

He huffs again. There’s no remorse in his scowl, just frustration. His tail twitches as a deep flush crawls over his skin. I doubt it’s me, personally, that’s burning him up, but there is definitely something there. I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Take your time. I want to understand.”

He nods and takes a deep breathe. Trying again, he manages to organise his thoughts well enough to voice them. “Jimmy is in the year above me. He keeps calling me lizard breath and skink brain and I told him to stop because I don’t like it, but he just did it more and then he got Luke and stupid Ben-ja-min to do it. They’re in my class. And they’re the Worst. The keep stealing my pencils and telling the teacher I threw them at them! I didn’t though! My aim’s not even that good! And then Ms. Jacobs made me move all the way to the front and switch with Stacy so I was in front of stupid Benjamin but every time she wasn’t looking, he tried to stamp on my tail.”

He pauses to catch his breathe. I wait for him to continue. There’s more there, obviously, and I don’t want to break his flow.

“And then today, I went to eat my lunch and I was looking forward to it because you said there was a surprise for me but they stole it and filled my lunch box with worms. All the girls freaked out even though it was just worms and when I tried to tell the break teacher, he told me to stop upsetting everyone! It wasn’t even me! So I didn’t have any lunch and I went to play with Georgie, they’re cool, I like them, but when we were playing, Jimmy kicked a ball right at my face. He did it on purpose too, even though he told the teacher it was an accident. He looked right at me! So I got really reeaalllyy mad.”

He’s not the only one. The dried blood crusting his upper lip makes me feel a certain kind of way. It’s not pretty. It takes all of my self-control to mask how much my fists are shaking. “What did you do?”

I almost don’t catch his mumbled response. “I threw a beehive at him…”

Don’t laugh. “You threw a beehive at him?”

“Yeah… Then he got chased by bees… And then he ran into the door because the bees were chasing him… He went home early…”

Through some miracle, I stifle my chuckles. I’m giddy with anger, it’s hard to maintain my tone. “Did you get stung?”

“No. I was quick.” He mimes the act, tossing an imaginary hive into the air in front of him.

“Alright. We’ll talk about this properly when we get home. We’ll fix your face up too. Do you feel dizzy at all? No? Good. If you start to feel sick, let me know the instant. It doesn’t matter if you interrupt me. Okay? I’ve got to talk to your principal now. Thank you for telling me what happened.”

The receptionist is all smiles now. Probably my murderous face. Her complacency commits her to the crimes. They should have called my much earlier. Not bothering with an announcement, I barge right into the office.

Principal Hobs has his head buried in his work, pouring over several files on his expensive looking desk. I wonder if he knows it’s a cheap replica. By the way it’s lovingly polished to near perfection, I’d wager no. Apparently, I’m not the only one without manners. He stuffs around, fiddling with more papers, medical reports by the look of it, waving me in with a lazy hand. Like he’s to Busy and Important for the likes of me and my Rowdy, Trouble-Making kid. Doesn’t matter to me. I’ve never been particularly moved by his acts. I drop into the arm chair, more armature than filling of course, slinging my arm over the back and reclining into it. Head tilted and brow cocked, I wait for him to face me. I’m looking forward to the expression.

He finally decides I’m worth his time. “I’m sure Louise has caught you u-” He jolts, cool demeanour melting right to the floor. “What are you doing here?”

I smile. Charming as a shrike. “Hi Ratface. It’s been a while, huh?”

He flounders, fumbling through his notes. The window light catches the shine of his receding hairline. Although we’re older, he’s hardly changed at all. I suppose I haven’t much either, just becoming more proficient in my… hobbies. His eyes dart from his notes to me like ping pong balls. He must’ve missed me. How sweet. Clamping onto a file like it’s a raft, he clears his throat, trying to regain composure. “I, erm, we are both adults now. I’m the principal. You will address me with the respect afforded to an individual of my stature.”

“Sure thing, Ratface. Try to move it along. I’m a very busy person.”

He stutters out a response, sitting straighter in his chair. Like the desk, it’s a cheap replica of a nice model. “Y-yes – I mean, urhum, I called you here to discuss the discipline of your son. He is your son? The Tainted boy?”

He’s acting like the kid suddenly appeared and started school midway through the year. Where does he get these silly ideas from?

“My very own flesh and blood. The product of one of my, many, sordid rendezvous over the years. Why? Want all of the juicy details? Haha that’s right up your alley, isn’t it?”

His face glows red. Huh. It is his thing. Judging by the oh-so-subtle glance at the door, it may just be Louise’s thing as well. He changes the topic quickly.

“Are you aware that John attacked another student today? Poor Jimmy Dorrson suffered several injuries thanks to your offspring. That kind of behaviour will not be tolerated in my school.”

I lean in, resting my elbows on his shiny desk. He leans back despite himself. I catch the malice of my eyes reflected in his glasses. “Now there’s a whole lot to unpack here, isn’t there. Let’s start simple. What in god’s name did you just call him?”

“W-w-well, I- uh- I called him John. I-”

“That’s not his name.”

“You, well, you can’t very well expect me-me to call him “Ninja Man” It’-”

“It’s his name. That’s what the kid wants to be called.”

“But-”

“But nothing. You will refer to him by name. But let’s move on, shall we. Would you like to explain to me why, exactly, you called me in here to talk about Jimmy whats-his-face but conveniently failed to tell me that my kid was hurt?”

“Jimmy was attacked! It took priority!”

“Oh yes, poor, poor Jimmy. He’s lucky he’s not here right now. I have some words for him as well.”

“W-what are you implying here? It was a simple case of boys will be boys.” He flinched at my deepening venom. “I, you know, I never pictured you as the over protective type.”

“I’m not. I’m his parent. Boys will be boys? Don’t give me that garbage. I know my kid. I know what kind of people schools breed. Did you bother asking him what happened? Did you listen when he told you how the gutless trio provoked him? No? Did you even Consider the root of his “disruptive behaviour”? Of course you didn’t. That would be too inconvenient for your busy, busy self. God forbid you Teach these kids anything.”

Hobs is gaping like a dying fish. His mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out. He can’t play this off as nothing. Not with me. “You know how it is! You know better than anyone how kids can be. Yours, he’s, he’s different. Bullying was inevitable. What do you want from me?”

“I want you to deal with the situation.”

“But, he’s Tainted!” He growls the words. “I can’t stop what happens. It’s just how things work!”

“What happened to your ‘zero tolerance policy’?” I don’t let him defend himself. “Things are going to change here. Unless you want me to call up some of my friends – you remember Todd, right? Of course you do. You two go way back – and make some things, disappear, as it were – you have taken out life insurance, right? It’d be such a shame if your lovely wife was left high and dry if something were to happen to you – you’re going to make some changes. This school is about to become extremely progressive, isn’t it?”

“What do you…”

“Disappearing not good enough? I can make things appear too. Your wife might deal with you herself if evidence happened to come to light about why you really stay late.”

“You don’t have any proof of that!”

“Oh, but I do. You think I wouldn’t come prepared? That I accidentally enrolled my son in your school? Please. I own the shadows Ratface. You can’t hide in them.”

“Are you threatening me!?” And the last horse crosses the line.

I slam my hands on the desk, leaning over him with an alligator grin. He shrinks back into his cheap chair. “Oh, dear, sweet Ratface. Of course not. I’d never threaten you. I’m making a promise. If my kid ever comes home with so much as a sniffle again, I will make your life miserable in ways you can’t ever imagine. Are you clear?” I think he’s going to pass out. His face is another shade of pale entirely.

“Y-yes. I understand.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I-Implement anti-bullying policy changes.”

“That?”

“Uh,, that are meaningful and not superficial.”

“Good.” I ease off him, leaving him to crumple into himself while I collect the kid and leave. Theatrics are tiring.

---

A comfortable silence builds as we drive home. The kid seems less upset which is good. A bruise is beginning to form across his nose. I’ll have to take care of that. He pokes my arm.

“Do you really know all of Principal Hobs’ secrets?”

I give him a side-eyed look. He pretends he doesn’t notice. Eavesdropper. “No. I don’t. I just made a few lucky guesses. I know the kind of person his is.”

“Hmmm. He seemed real scared of you.”

“Yeah…” I scratch my neck. “I was a little mean to him in school.”

“Were you a bully?”

“Yeah. I guess you could say that. I never touched him personally, but I did point him out to my friends. They liked to torment weaker kids.”

“How come? Did he deserve it?”

How to explain? I’m not exactly proud of what we did but with him, it’s hard to find sympathy. “My friends like to pick on people. I think it made them feel strong. It didn’t matter of they deserved it or not.” He looks more than a little disheartened. “But with your principal, I saw him pulling wings off of flies. He liked to pick on weaker things too. I pointed him out to my friends because of that.”

“Because of the flies? Did you ever tell him that?”

“No. I figured, he didn’t tell the flies why he bullied them so why tell him why he was being picked on?” I sigh. “Really, I shouldn’t have done that. I should have just confronted him about it. No matter the excuse, it’s never okay to hurt people.” I glance at him again. “If you’re ever picked on, tell me. I can’t help unless I know what’s going on.”

“Okay.” He nodded. That was easy. Did he not realise he could talk to me? Hopefully things will change so he won’t have to.

We pull up to the gate but neither moves to get out. I switch the ignition of.

“Am I in trouble?” He looks worried.

“Do you think you should be?”

“Yeah, kinda? I did get Jimmy hurt… But he deserved it. If he left me alone when I asked him to, I wouldn’t have had to do it.”

That was a whole issue in itself. A messy one. “Look, we’re gonna have to have an ice cream talk about Jimmy, but not today. I reckon you’ve had a big enough day as it is. I’m not going to get mad at you for self-defence. The last thing I want to see is you getting hurt. Especially if you’re holding back because of manners or whatever. However, starting tomorrow, we’re digging out a new garden. You’re going to grow native flowers to make it up to the bees. They didn’t ask to get in the middle of your fight, or for you to break their home. I’ll help you, but this will be you taking responsibility for your actions. Does that sound fair?”

“Yeah. I am sorry about that bit.”

“Good. Let’s go in.”

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Tag list

@inkovert, @snobbysnekboi, @kainablue, and @i-rove-rock-n-roll

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Hmm, does the stranger feel out of character here? I’m not sure if their character is loosening up or if I’m going off model..

#original story #short story #flash fiction #Flash Fiction Friday #my story #writblr #A Stranger's collection

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kariachi · 6 years ago

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Another commission! This time over 11k of Martin Mystery/Ben 10 crossover for @thenixkat.

A young man walks calmly through the forest. It’s been a nice afternoon, so far- hot and muggy with little cloud cover to prevent the summer sun from streaming through the trees. There’s a notable lack of birdsong, and just a quarter mile down the path he’d found a crow lying on the concrete, but he’s not worried. It’d winged off as soon as he nudged it with his shoe. Anyway, birds were supposed to call when predators were around, and if something was wrong in the park surely an alert would’ve been put out by now. It’s too nice of a day to waste time worrying over nothing.

Something glints in the sunlight, off to the side of a curve in the path near a large outcropping of rock and the man’s curiosity gets the better of him. A glass bottle maybe? Some loser littering out here, ruining things for the wildlife and the guests? He comes closer, hand resting on the stone, focused on the shining object. Yes, definitely a loser, but not as much a loser as him. After all, anyone littering here probably has a job, an education, a lover, isn’t living in their parents’ basement like he is. They’ve never ruined everything for everybody, but he has, hasn’t he? Just one failure after another starting with being born at all, such a waste….

He’s so caught in his own head, he doesn’t even see the teeth.

“-but of course the police don’t believe them, because what civilian cop is going to believe the person in the house you were breaking into was murdered by donuts-”

“Hey guys!”

“Oh thank God.” Diana just about collapsed with relief right on the moving walkway at their alien friend’s timely arrival. Martin had been talking about this movie for two days and now that he’d realized she wasn’t going to watch it with him he’d decided to just recap the entire fucking thing. “Hi Billy.”

“Hi Billy.”

“Hey Billy!” The grin on Martin’s face could not be removed, only turned to new victims. “I was just telling Diana about this new movie that came out- Attack of the Killer Donuts.”

“Ooo,” Billy grinned back, “sounds interesting.”

“It is! It’s got almost all the classic B-horror tropes! I’ll stream it for you after we get back from this mission.”

“Speaking of which,” Diana interrupted before her only shot at a moment without breakfast foods as a main topic vanished into the ether (Java wasn’t helping, he’d given up and watched the film within the first two hours and was now on Martin’s side, the traitor), “any idea what we’re getting into?”

“MOM’s got the details,” the alien said, “but I do know Osmosians are involved, so I printed off these pamphlets.” As he spoke he distributed the pieces of paper. The whole team’s brows raised as one at the first item listed. ‘Bring food.’ “Security Chief Jones was involved in their original production, so you can trust the information to be accurate.”

“Uh, thanks, Billy.” They were all still focused on the pamphlets, reading through the surprisingly short list of safety tips. They mostly seemed to boil down to ‘don’t let them get hungry’ and ‘don’t piss them off’.

“Don’t worry, Eva says they’re really nice people.”

For once MOM didn’t appear to have some experiment going, no guests hanging around, and Martin was visibly thrown off by it. Instead she was checking three backpacks stuffed to the brim with gear, from water canteens hanging off the sides to what were probably area maps and what looked like way too much food.

“Jones not kidding,” Java said as they watched her shift things in one of the packs so another Ziploc of trail mix could be fit inside.

“Hi MOM,” Martin then said, coming forward with a grin and snatching up one of the packs, hefting it over his shoulder. “What sort’ve mission have we got today? Saharan zombies? Jungle werewolves?” MOM just raised a brow, zipping the pack she’d been fiddling with shut and circling her desk to take a seat.

“Not quite, Martin.” She picked a folder up off the desk and handed it to Diana as she and Java joined them. “You’ll be investigating a series of missing persons cases at Star Ridge State Park in the eastern United States.” The boys peered over Diana’s shoulders as she flipped through the folder, grabbing packs for herself and Java with her tail. Inside were numerous police reports describing the disappearances of nine people, including photos of the missing. A pair of girls no older than her and Martin. A man in his mid-twenties. Middle-aged, elderly, children, there didn’t seem to be any pattern to the missing.

Only one particularly stood out, and the team all glanced at each other when they got to them. The photo showed an adult, they supposed, with short antlers, a muzzle, and tufted tail. Their skin was thick and tawny brown, covered in scutes, and they had teeth like something out of the Ice Age. One eye, the left, was marred with scarring and left a milky pink.

“I take it this is why Billy was talking about Osmosians?” Diana asked, and MOM nodded.

“The park contains a large pack,” she said, “and a good portion of it is their territory. You’ll have to be careful and respectful when inside, Martin.”

“Hey!”

“Osmosians do not suffer disrespect well, especially not established packs. They and the local tribe have happily agreed to work with us, so don’t make either one regret it.” Her tone turned sharp on the last portion, eyes narrowing slightly.

“Of course,” Diana said, and Java nodded beside her. MOM just hummed back at them.

“The pack has called in a team themselves,” she continued, “you’ll be meeting them at the Greenwich Entrance.”

“Wait,” Martin said as she opened the door out, “why would they call in someone else if we’re already coming?”

“It’s an Ossy thing.”

“Is even in pamphlet,” Java said, holding his own copy up, and he was right.

#9. It’s an Ossy thing, roll with it.

The trip in was uneventful, and mostly consisted of Martin trying to work out what sort’ve paranormal mess they were walking into and Diana- who at this point wasn’t even going to argue about the paranormal with him, he was right over half the time and she just ended up listening to him gloat about it- trying to make him drive like a person who knew how. Meanwhile Java appeared to have tuned them both out about an hour ago, pulling out a novel and burying himself in that for most of the drive.

Entering the park revealed a lovely sight. Everything was in full bloom- green vines with trumpet-shaped pink-orange flowers creeping high on the red brick archway that marked the entrance, native flowers a mass of color beneath the entrance sign. Trees all various shades of rich greens. Bees buzzed, butterflies fluttered, and in pride of place sat a large fountain topped with a sculpture of a doe and fawns.

Two people who were probably human stood at the base of the fountain, a distinction made because most of the people they were watching off to the side very much weren’t. One was, an elderly man with dark skin, but out of the other three one was clearly an Osmosian, like the victim they had the photo of, while another’s blue fur blatantly marked him as alien, and the last had teeth they could see flash when they talked even as they came to a stop several yards away. At their feet was a large blue, dog? thing? maybe? There wasn’t that much time to dwell on it, because one of the humans was a girl their age and so as soon as the keys were out of the ignition Martin practically teleported to her side. The redhead looked both surprised and unimpressed by his sudden appearance.

“Hey there, I don’t think we’ve been introduced. My name’s Martin-” True to form he didn’t seem to notice how the girl and the brunet beside her were side eyeing him. He also didn’t notice his sister storming over until she had him by the ear and was yanking him away from them.

“I’m sorry about him, he’s a moron,” she said, holding out her free hand to shake. “I take it you’re the other team that got called in?”

“More like Kevin got called in and we came along for the ride, but yeah,” the girl replied with a firm handshake. “Gwen Tennyson, this is my cousin Ben- also a moron-”

“Hey!”

“-and over there are Rook, Kevin, and the dog is Zed.” Diana nodded, gesturing to her own team.

“I’m Diana Lombard, this is my brother, Martin Mystery, and that’s Java.” Java waved with a smile and Ben waved back.

“Wait, ‘Martin Mystery’?” Kevin and Rook were returning to the group, a map clenched in Rook’s hands and Zed at their heels. There was a toothy and slightly sinister grin on Kevin’s face. “The Martin Mystery and company?” Java and Diana shared a wary look as Martin puffed up like a rooster and held out a hand, gaze lingering briefly on the tight shirt and monstrous teeth.

“The one and only.” Kevin’s toothy grin only got more worrying, even as he accepted the handshake.

“I’m Eva Jones’s son.” And Martin deflated like a popped balloon, which was always amusing for the others. There was no way the Chief of Security’s son was going to be in awe. Something that was all but confirmed when he continued talking. “Mom has told me so many stories about you.”

“What kind of stories?” Martin asked, eyes narrowing slightly, and Kevin shrugged.

“Varies. Sometimes I stop by for dinner and get to hear about ‘Agent Lombard beat a slug-fucker with brains and a saltwater fish tank’, others I get a text in the middle of the night thanking me for having enough sense to not let a werewolf wound go untreated.” And there it was, Martin was on the edge of pouting. Fortunately- or unfortunately, if you were Diana and loved watching your brother wallow in his own dangerous stupid- Gwen was merciful.

“So, what have we got to go on?” Rook seemed as happy to get to work as Martin and smiled at all of them, immediately going and laying the map he held out on the fountain wall.

“Aaron and John were good enough to provide us a map showing the general area of each disappearance,” he said, pointing out a series of red spots on the map. They were all clustered over a large area with no discernible pattern. “If we make our way onto the Aspen Trail, then cut onto the Blackcap Trail, we should be able to do a partial circuit of the area.” Stepping back, Martin stretched and grinned.

“Sounds like a plan.”

They’d been walking an hour and Diana was in hell.

“I wouldn’t call Attack of the Killer Donuts the best B-horror of our time, I mean have you seen Ice Spiders?”

“Really, Benji? If you’re going with Syfy-style you could at least go for Attack of the Killer Lampreys or something.”

“Ooo, that one was awesome! I’ve watched it four times!”

“Java big fan of Lake Placid sequels.”

“Hold up- Two? Or three and four?”

“Three and four.”

“Good man.”

It was a nightmare.

“I was really hoping Martin would leave this discussion behind.” Gwen patted Diana on the shoulder, joining her in sighing.

“Men, can’t live with them and if you kill them you have to deal with their mothers.” Diana almost joked about having a shot then, then remembered that much like she was, despite all attempts, clearly their father’s favorite, Martin and their mother had bonded like no other, and it was entirely likely that if she killed him Mom would disown her and start again with new children.

She sighed once more.

“So,” she said, pulling her eyes off the boys walking ahead of them to look at Gwen, “the pack brought you guys in?” Gwen nodded.

“Kevin’s Top Ossy on the planet right now, and the missing Ossy is his brother-in-law’s cousin, so when the pack couldn’t figure out what was happening he’s where they turned. The rest of us didn’t want him running into who knows what kind of trouble without back-up.” She could understand that. Apparently, nobody knew what they were dealing with, other than that it probably wasn’t a natural phenomenon (score- one Martin, yay). There weren’t any sinkholes found or anything, and Diana couldn’t imagine large predators had much space to come in with a whole pack of them already living there. But then, why was it…

“Does it seem eerily quiet to you?” Diana asked after a moment. There was still the boys’ conversation, but under it was, nothing.

“Oh thank god, it’s not just me. Shouldn’t there be birds or bugs or something?”

“Yeah…”

Up ahead, Zed sudden froze and began to growl.

Nothing appeared off about the area they were heading into, but still the group stopped where they were and carefully took stock of what was ahead. It was a small valley, not particularly deep but still notable. The path went in, followed the edge of the river, heavily laden with plant-life, then went back up the cliffside a few acres along. At first look, purely innocuous, but as they closed in on each other protectively experience told them they weren’t so lucky.

“Prime ambush territory,” Ben said, and the others all nodded.

“I say we risk it,” Martin added, and Diana sighed.

“Of course you do.”

“What are we going to learn if we don’t go in? Nothing, so we go.”

“It makes sense.”

“If we die, the Center’s paying for the funerals.”

“Deal.”

Which was about the point where a massive head came out of the undergrowth, straight at them, at speed.

“Shit!” Nearly as one mind they scattered, Gwen instinctively hurling a mass of pink energy at the creature as they dodged its fangs. The damn things were easily the length of Diana’s arm! The girls, Kevin, and Rook scrambled away from the creature as more of it emerged, Kevin’s hand tight on Zed’s collar.

It was a massive serpent, with a head easily as wide as Java. The scales along it’s body were a deep, deep black with dark blue banding and shone with a rainbow of iridescence, its head crested with a rack of long, tined antlers. High on the head, between its eyes- one a deep brown and the other a milky beige- sat a diamond crystal that blazed in the mid-afternoon sun. It was beautiful, so beautiful. Surely this would be the best way to die, here to something lovely, rather than later to some slime creature, or ghost, or whatever horrible thing she would be made to face next. A miracle, the fact she’d survived this long, how much longer could luck last before something else ate her, possessed her, best for them not to have the chance-

A flash of pain as she hit concrete and Diana was knocked from her daze, looking up to see Rook laid overtop of her on the trail as the serpent surged forward above them. It turned on itself, clearly drawing back for another attempt and giving Kevin and Gwen just enough of an opening to rush back in and haul them to their feet. The two bolted back up the path, Zed just ahead of them and Kevin behind, as Gwen blasted the beast again, sending it reeling long enough for Martin and Java to come running back out from where they’d tumbled into the valley, Ben over the caveman’s shoulder.

“There’s two of them,” Martin yelled as they ran passed, grabbing Gwen by the arm and shoving her ahead of them. “Two!”

True to word another of the beasts slithered behind them, whole and hearty and quickly joining with the first in chasing them down. All they could do was keep running, running despite the realization these things were fast, and large enough that they all knew any distance they might gain would be lost if they tried to head into the trees. These things could probably eat the trees. Relief only came when Ben finally came back to himself, vanishing in a flash of green light that had Java dropping him in the path, only to appear again as a plantperson.

“Time to bring the heat,” he said, shooting seeds from his hands into the earth along the path. Almost instantly they sprouted, bursting forth as thick vines that joined together to form a wall blocking the way. He then lit the vines on fire, just in case. “Hah! Let’s see ya get through that!”

“Don’t tempt the dragons!” Swampfire squeaked as Kevin got him by the back of the neck, having doubled back once he realized what was happening, and dragged him along with the others.

They may or may not have been being chased anymore, but they sure as fuck weren’t stopping.

“I can’t believe we almost got eaten by an Uktena!”

“Two Uktena.”

“Even better!”

For the most part they were all collapsed at one of the outlook spots on the trail. Martin, though, was pacing back and forth with a grin because who else did Diana know who would think nearly dying via giant snake monster was cool?

“Okay, Martin,” Gwen said, “glad you’re happy, but if you could fill the rest of us in.” He stopped and turned his grin on the group.

“Uktena are horned serpents from Cherokee myth, formed out of people unhappy with their lives,” he said. “The crystal on the head? It’s called an Ulun'suti- I probably butchered that… Anyway, it’s mildly hypnotic and eventually creatures who stare into it just give themselves up to be eaten!” A look of mild confusion came over his face. “They don’t normally hunt humans though, that’s weird…” Off the side, where he was lying in the grass, Kevin shook his head.

“A dragon made out of people, with a blind left eye, that’s just suddenly showed up?” He lifted his head enough to look at the others. “That was Dalen.” His head thudded back down. “Also explains why she’s hunting humans, we aren’t picky eaters.”

“Alright,” Diana said, “that explains the one then. What about the other?” Everybody shrugged.

“Who knows,” Martin said, “could be another one of the missing people, could be one that just showed up around now. Maybe having the other one here attracted it.”

“Knowing our luck it heard we were coming and decided to join in.” Ben heaved a sigh. “Why is it always things with scales? We have not met anyone decent with scales!”

Diana was happy to see everyone except Ben sit up and give him the stink eye. Kevin doubly so.

“Excepting present company.” She continued to glare, tail twitching in aggravation. Was it cool to smack one of somebody else’s boys?

“Uh-huh, yeah..”

“And all of my siblings? Just not a thing now?” Kevin asked with a sneer, before falling back to the ground. Zed whined and curled up against his side. “Just, will somebody kill him and save me the trouble?”

“No killing my cousin,” Gwen said, flopping back down herself.

“And you all see why we broke up.” While Kevin huffed, Ben turned a pleading gaze on Martin, in clear hopes of back-up. Instead Martin gave him a sharp look and went to collapse beside his sister and Gwen.

“Not cool, man.”

They decided, in the end, to turn in for the night and pick the mission back up in the morning. The reasoning being that it was getting late and since so far all known attacks and attempted attacks had happened during the day odds were good the Uktena were at least primarily diurnal. An unoccupied cabin was found along the trail, outside of what Martin and Kevin had deemed the ‘Dinner Zone’ as well as the pack territories. That second bit was important because once everyone was inside Kevin had gone out and rubbed his scent all over the trees surrounding the building, just in case that helped.

It was an Ossy thing. They rolled with it.

Dinner options were slim. The Center had provided trail food- mixes, jerky, dried fruit- and a few tins of canned meat and fish for each agent. The Tennyson team turned out to be at least a little more prepared, mostly because Kevin had managed to fit a corned beef into his pack (“We just don’t ask anymore, last time it ended with a two-hour explanation of space-time and dimensional rigging that went over everybody’s head”) and Rook had brought a collapsible pot and portable range (“You would think the park would stock these, but apparently no”). Most of the corned beef went to Kevin and Zed, something the Tennysons and Rook didn’t begrudge them and Martin, Diana, and Java- keeping in mind the pamphlets- decided to follow their lead on. They weren’t certain what happened if an Osmosian got hungry, but they didn’t want to find out.

Eventually, the group split into two, with Java, Rook, and Kevin taking over the kitchen while the others hung out the whole ten feet away in the living room. If nothing else the cooks seemed to be enjoying themselves, laughing and chatting and exchanging tips and tricks and recipes. And at some point Kevin’d put his hair up, the end result of which was Martin watching them over the back of one of the couches, eyes narrowed, mouth open, and head tilted to one side as Ben patted him consolingly on the shoulder.

“I swear,” Diana said quietly as she watched this, leaning in close to Gwen, “I can feel his heterosexuality combusting from here.” Gwen nodded.

“Yeah, that happens sometimes.”

“You know, I never thought I’d enjoy canned sardines.”

“It is amazing what you can make work by cannibalizing the right packs.”

“And working with a guy who’s used to making a single ingredient into a million distinct recipes.”

“You are welcome.”

“Ooo, spellbook!” It was a testament to the sort’ve thing she was used to that Gwen didn’t jump when Martin unceremoniously dumped himself into the seat beside her. She’d figured getting some studying done couldn’t hurt, not when they were trying to deal with a pair of giant, magical snakes, but as soon as she’d pulled out the book and cracked it open there he’d been.

“Into magic?” she asked, looking at him critically, eyes narrowed. Martin puffed up proudly.

“Runs in the family,” he said, “I can’t even remember when my Gran and aunts started teaching me spellwork.” Gwen snorted a quick laugh.

“Lucky. I had to teach myself. It’s only in the last few years I’ve gotten any actual teaching, or access to new books.” She raised the one in her lap slightly for emphasis and watched Martin light right up.

“Wait here! Java!” Leaping to his feet he crossed the space between himself and the caveman, immediately digging into the front of his shirt and pulling out a large book before practically diving back for the couch. “Check this out.”

The book wasn’t as grand as the one Gwen held, and it was certainly in worse shape. There was water damage, scorch marks, and places where dirt had clearly been ground into the parchment. As Martin flipped through it Gwen was fairly certain she saw evidence that it had been rebound at least once. But it was stuffed to the brim with spells and notes in what she had to assume was his own handwriting. Half of the spells weren’t even in the same languages, she counted at least six. Three of which she didn’t recognize.

“Okay,” she said after about the third spell in what she would later learn was Etruscan, leaning over to dig through her pack for some pens and paper, “you can copy from mine if I can copy from yours. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Okay,” Rook said the next morning while they all gathered over a breakfast of cereal bars, jerky, and dried apples, plus plenty of instant coffee for Martin and Gwen (“It’s your own fault for staying up till four am”), “let us review- what do we know?”

“That we’re dealing with two Uktena,” Diana said, “one of whom used to be an Osmosian.”

“Because of course Ossys aren’t scary enough,” Ben added and got swatted for it because she and Kevin were both too tired for him to start.

“Hunting here,” Java said, pointing at the map laid on the table between them, “in valleys.”

“They’re ambush predators,” Martin said around a bite of cheerio bar. “Plus, their breath is poisonous.”

“Oh joy.” Sarcasm was just dripping from Kevin’s voice. “Hypnotic and poisonous.” He sighed, snatching up a handful of jerky and chewing it with open aggravation. “Roy can never hear about that, for his own sake.” Gwen patted his shoulder and passed an apple ring to Zed before leaning forward to inspect the map.

“So, what do we do then? Are we catching them or-?”

“The Center can move them somewhere they won’t be a threat to any people,” Diana said. “They’ve done it before with larger creatures. We just have to subdue them first so they can come in and get them.”

“It’s safer than trying to kill them anyway,” Martin added. “They’ve only got one vulnerable spot, on the seventh stripe, and it’s tough to hit without being in eating range.”

“Okay,” Ben said, “so all we have to do is catch them.”

“Easier said than done,” Diana replied, leaning back against the couch. “How do we catch them?”

“If you guys can get them to stay still,” Gwen said, “Martin and I both have sleep spells we can cast on them. I don’t know for sure if they’d work on these things, but it’s worth a shot.”

“I don’t know, Gwen,” Martin said, rubbing the back of his head. “Supposedly seeing these things asleep causes your family to die.”

“At this point,” Kevin tossed in, “I would be impressed if something managed to kill the family I’ve still got.” The table went quiet, everyone rolling the risk around in their heads, blindly watching Zed sneak food.

“Alright,” Rook eventually said, “how about this- Ben, do you think you could use Diamondhead or Swampfire to subdue them?” Ben hummed, leaning back in his seat as he considered the idea.

“Diamondhead, Swampfire, Wildvine, all could lock them in place from a distance. Maybe Gravattack? And if need be I could always possess them one at a time with Ghostfreak…”

“How about we avoid possession?” Diana asked, shivering. She’d seen and experienced enough possessions in her life, thank you, she didn’t want to play witness to any more than she had to. Java laid a supportive hand on her shoulder. The Tennyson team gave her a questioning look, but Kevin soon nodded, and the rest followed suit.

“Yeah, that’s a trauma I think we can all forgo reliving if we have the chance.”

“So,” Rook continued, “we draw them out into the open and Ben subdues them. If that does not work, then Martin and Gwen put them to sleep. Agreed?” Everyone looked at each other, then slowly began to shrug.

“It’s the best plan we’ve got so far,” Ben said. “So, Martin, you’re our expert, where should we look for these things?”

“Well…” Martin leaned forward, looking over the map. “They’re ambush predators, so they should probably hang out in places where they can jump out at people… Caves, valleys, deep water, dense foliage, large rocks…” Again, the table went silent as everyone considered the information.

“So,” Kevin finally said, “the entire Dinner Zone, basically?”

“I wish you guys wouldn’t call it that…”

“Pretty much,” Martin answered. He hummed contemplatively, tapping his fingers on the table as he considered the map and their options. “They are snakes though, maybe we can catch them sunning. Then they’d already be out in the open.”

“Good idea,” Java said, and the others nodded.

“We’d still have to find out where they sun,” Rook noted, but Kevin was already on his feet.

“Leave that to me,” he said, pulling out his phone and stepping off to the side, “the local pack should know every decent sunning spot in the park.”

“Okay then. Everyone,” Ben said with a grin, also rising to his feet, “get your shit together, we’ve got some snakes to catch.”

The cabin became a buzz of activity, as everyone scrambled to get their things back in order and clean up after themselves. Trash was shoveled into bins, counters were given a final wipe down, books and writing supplies were carefully tucked away into packs. Dinner and breakfast had cleared enough room for extra things to be stowed inside them, such as Martin’s spellbook and some of the canteens, which the group took the time to refill at the sink. It was the height of summer, even in a temperate region you didn’t want to run out of water if you didn’t have to. At some point Kevin returned to the couch, snatching a pencil from Martin so he could mark various areas on the map, chattering away with who they had to assume was Aaron in languages nobody understood. Occasionally the Omnitrix would pick up something in Imperial Osmosian, but other than that…

“We have sunning spots!” he finally called out, as everyone was finishing up packing, snatching up the map triumphantly and rocketing to his feet. “The hunt is on!”

The journey wasn’t exactly arduous, but it sure wasn’t easy. For one thing they had to move at a steady clip, as fast as they possibly could. Nobody knew how long it took for reptiles that size to get up to temperature, but they didn’t want to miss them and have to search the entire area. Even still, that wouldn’t have been so much to ask if there hadn’t been five different sunning spots recommended in and around the Dinner Zone, each of which was only accessible by narrow paths through the trees, half of which were overgrown with foliage. These were places the pack occasionally used, but which were far enough out of the way so as to not see regular visitors. Perfect places for monster serpents to catch the morning sun.

“I have a question,” Ben asked as they made their way down from a tall outcropping. It had been the third stop, to no avail, and while all of them were athletic and well hydrated they also were soaked with sweat. “How does someone even become a snake monster?” All eyes turned to Martin who was, as usual, glad to share his obscure knowledge.

“Well, according to Cherokee myth a guy turned himself into one while spending the night alone in an asi with a pair of deer antlers, but I’ve never seen anything detailing exactly how that worked. She probably didn’t need the antlers though, having her own.”

“Honestly I’d be pissed to have lost a pair,” Kevin said, grasping onto trees to slow his descent down a particularly steep area. “A lot of packs are really tied closely to neighboring communities, especially ones native to the particular region. Tribal land’s close enough, if there’s a trick to the transformation Dalen probably learned it from a Cherokee parent or cousin.”

“Or grandparent.”

“Same diff.” The group went quiet again, mostly to focus on not slipping and falling, something only Diana was immune to. Turned out the tail was useful for balance and for catching herself on branches and the blackcap bushes that had clearly given the trail its name, the scales even protecting her from the thorns. She kept throwing Ben smug looks over it, and Rook, Kevin, and Martin kept giving her thumbs up when the hero wasn’t looking. None of them had forgotten or forgiven his ‘no decent people with scales’ comment yet.

It wasn’t until they found the path again that they returned to talking.

“So, she probably did it to herself,” Gwen said. “That’s sad, and worrying.”

“In her defense,” Rook replied, “I am sure she did not expect to start eating passersby. Right?” Eyes went to Kevin, who shrugged.

“Don’t look at me, I met Dalen once and we didn’t exactly get close. If she was anything like Roy probably not?”

“Still not know about other snake,” Java pointed out. He was right too, they had no clue what was going on with that one. The best case scenario was that it was another of the missing people, bringing the Presumed Dead count down to seven, but they just couldn’t know. For all the information they had it could be a male attracted by Dalen’s presence, or a newcomer that prompted her own transformation. The worst possibility was that somebody had made them against their wills, but since so far Martin had said nothing about that being an option everyone was setting it aside. He and Gwen were the magic users around, after all, and surely they would’ve let the others know if that was something that might have happened.

“Hopefully,” Diana said, “the Center can figure out who they are.” If they could give some sort’ve closure to the families, tell even one mother that their child was alive even if they’d never come home, then that would make the effort of learning, of catching them alive, worth it. Idly she wondered if the pack had already been told of Dalen’s fate.

“Sure they can.” Martin’s grin was bright, though behind it was dead seriousness. He may have been a goofball, but his job was important and he treated it as such when the chips came down. “With all the stuff we’ve got access to? There’s no way they can’t.” Up ahead on the path, Rook nodded.

“Or at least no reason we cannot find somebody who can.”

Four turned out to be their lucky number. Both the Uktena were there, their bulk coating the surface of a massive stone jutting out over one of the area’s many streams. Their scales shone in the sunlight, dark and rainbowed and beautiful, while their Ulun'suti glinted and seemed to almost glow in the light. Under better circumstances it would have been a wonderful sight, two great dragons warming themselves. A sight for life long memories. One for photos.

Thankfully they didn’t seem to hear the click of a phone.

“Kevin!” Half the group hissed as one, careful to keep their voices down. They were gathered in the shrubbery near the bottom of the stone, just far enough away to avoid being immediately noticed.

“What?” he whispered, replacing the phone in his pack, “Her mom will want this.” With a round of sighs the others shook their heads, turning their attention back to the Uktena pair.

“Is this normal?”

“Maybe? Who knows, I’ve only read about these things and one of them is an Ossy.”

“Okay, do we all remember the plan?” Rook looked around at the group as best he could- Java had been forced to hide further back due to his size, and Kevin would’ve been too if he and the girls hadn’t been first to the spot, which meant he had to somehow check around that bulk on top of all the foliage everywhere- and was glad to see nodding and thumbs up all around. “Alright. Spread out, make sure they cannot slip away if they get loose. And be careful.”

They all were as quiet as they could be as they acted, avoiding loose stones and twigs, taking their time now that they could confirm that the snakes weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Gwen and Ben headed one direction, while Martin, Diana, and Rook headed in the other. Kevin and Java stayed more central, a solid foundation behind the targets. As soon as everyone appeared to be in position, Ben dialed the Omnitrix and slammed down his selection, erupting again in a blaze of bright green light that faded away to reveal Wildvine already digging his roots into the stony shores.

At the sudden flash the Uktena both leapt into action, rearing straight up as their heads swung to see the source. A hiss left the one that was Dalen, body tensing as her companion tilted their head. The action caused the gem between their eyes to glint and gleam, and the group all were careful to avoid looking at it, keeping their eyes on the antlers, the jaws, anywhere else on them. Except for Wildvine, who simply laughed at the attempt as the reflection off the crystal played across his face.

“Got you there,” he said with a wide grin, “Wildvine can’t be hypnotized!”

The pair seemed to be surprised by the new development, though with snake faces who could tell. Still, they didn’t surge forward in vicious strikes like before, but instead stayed in place, eyeing the young hero with caution. Wildvine took the opening. He reached over his shoulders, tearing seed pods from his back and hurling them towards the snakes. As soon as the first few hit the serpents took action, moving to put distance between themselves and this strange foe they couldn’t bring to heel, but it was too late. The moment they began to move the seedpods sprouted, issuing forth thick, knobby green vines that wove themselves around Uktena and rock both.

“See? Easy!” The rest of the group crept out of hiding carefully, eyes locked on the captured serpents.

“I’d feel a lot better if that hold was tighter…” The grip didn’t look secure. Dalen was held mostly to the stone as she struggled, but the other one, not so much. It strained upward, and though it didn’t get far one could imagine the sound of vines creaking and straining against its strength.

When they finally failed it was one after the other down the creature’s back, like watching a zipper come undone.

“Shit!” Everyone scrambled back again as the vines on the Uktena fell away and it surprised them all by turning not towards its attackers but towards Dalen. In two massive bites it tore through the vines holding her head and neck, leaving her free to repeat its earlier vine bursting maneuver. That job done, it finally tuned back to Wildvine, lunging forward in an attack he was just barely able to dodge, and twisting back on itself to trap the Tennysons in the coil of its body. Dalen, meanwhile, surged in the opposite direction, throwing herself among the rest of the team with a loud hiss and a brandishing of fangs and antlers. Everyone who could scattered, trying to avoid being victim to either the weapons or bulk of the beast.

She lashed out with tail and fang, swung her antlers in wide arcs when too close to lunge, thrashing like she wanted to get at all of them at once. Probably she did. It was impossible to get a bead on her, not when she was moving about so wildly, not when she was staying in such close proximity to them, not when they were trying so hard not to be caught in the shine of the Ulun'suti in the sun. Java caught Martin as a swinging tail launched him into the air. Rook’s call to fall back was almost lost in the sound of heavy scales on stone and the splashing of all these creatures in the water.

“A little help here?!”

“We’ve kinda got our own problems!” Zed at least was able to come to the Tennyson’s aid, charging forward to drive her teeth into the tail of the other Uktena while the others were too caught up in not being eaten by Dalen, and keeping a tight grip even as it tried to fling her off and into the woods. If nothing else, it gave the cousins an opening- for Gwen to distract it with blasts to the face and belly and for Ben to dial up an option that would hopefully have an easier time subduing the creature. In another flash the roots and greenery of Wildvine disappeared and were replaced with the shining form of Diamondhead.

“If somebody could get them on the ground, this time it should work!”

“It better!” Martin dodged another swing of Dalen’s antlers as he and Rook bolted for the other serpent’s tail, leaping up to try to drag it down with sheer weight. Diana and Kevin ran to try to do the same with the head, the hybrid reaching out to get a thick coating of the stone as they cut under it on their way to where Gwen was using her magic to drag the thing into their range. Java, meanwhile, was taking on the dangerous job of trying to keep Dalen from going after the rest of them.

It wasn’t working.

As soon as she realized her companion was being dogpiled she surged back over the top of the stone, mouth gaping wide to snap up somebody, anybody, in front of her. Java clung to her middle, digging in his heels as best he could, Gwen throwing up a quick shield to prevent her from managing the foot of distance more she needed to reach the rest of the team. Quickly she was in on the battle between caveman and serpent, Java doing his best to slowly drag Dalen backwards away from the group while Gwen used her magic to keep her from doubling back and tearing into Java like a ripe fruit. It was a vicious game of tug-of-war, where a slip by either of the heroes could easily get all of them killed.

On the other side of things, Operation Dogpile was working. Kevin and Diana had distracted the snake long enough for Martin, Rook, and Zed to get his tail to the ground, and together their own weight was enough to keep its head on the ground as well. Diamondhead, through this, solidified each little victory with a barrage of crystal, a preliminary cage as the massive shards briefly cut off movement away from him. This wasn’t a solid solution though. The crystals were stronger than vines, yes, but here and now was not the place to take half-measures. Once the snake was under some degree of control he began phase two, calling up huge, thick sheets of crystal from the ground. Five locking the head in place, with one before the snout, while hordes of others ran down the serpent’s length, with gaps between them only large enough for those clinging to it to slip free.

At which point Dalen went ‘fuck this’. Where before she had been struggling to pull herself free of Gwen’s magic long enough to tear Java off her midsection, now she instead suddenly surged forward towards the girl, shocking her into breaking her hold and Java into loosening his grip. She almost soared over Diamondhead’s head, curling herself around her companion’s and trying to bite through the crystal holding them. Inside the crystal cage, Kevin and Diana were beginning to lose the breath they’d been holding in an attempt to not be poisoned and Diana, much like Dalen, immediately decided to take action.

That action was punching the Uktena in her dead eye.

With a violent hiss the beast pulled back, giving her head a brief shake and what could only be a glare to those assembled before disappearing into the forest as suddenly as she had first appeared the day before.

They were alone again. Sort’ve.

“Everyone in one piece?” Ben asked in unison with Java’s “Martin and Diana alright?”

“Fine over here,” Martin said as he, Rook, and the dog all slid free of the cage. “Sis?”

“We’re okay,” Diana responded.

“Nice jab.” Kevin gave her a grin as she helped him squeeze free of the crystal and she gladly returned it.

“Thanks, my mom taught me.”

“Awesome.”

“So,” Gwen said, heaving a sigh as everyone gathered on and around the rock to check their injuries- only scrapes and bruises, thank god, though Kevin and Diana worried everyone with some coughing they insisted was nothing major- and look out over their catch, “what do we do now?”

“We call the Center,” Diana said, she, Martin, and Java lumping together protectively as the Tennyson team did the same, “then we go find the other one.” As one the group looked at the Uktena they’d already caught. It wasn’t struggling anymore, having seemingly accepted that there was no escape from it’s current predicament, and instead was staring them down with it’s dark, dark eyes. Ben took a deep breath as, in a flash of green, he turned back into himself, and fixed the team with a self-assured smile.

“We’ve totally got this.”

The team split up. Not for long, just so somebody was there to wait for the Center’s monster transport squad to show up while the others made sure they had a trail they could follow. In theory it wasn’t difficult, she was a sixty-foot snake for fuck’s sake, but she was a sixty-foot snake that had been an Osmosian, which was the universe’s way of challenging a hunter.

“How did she make the trees here hold her?”

“I don’t know. I saw Kay do that sort’ve thing once, but he’s never taught me.” Humming under his breath, Java stepped away from Kevin and Rook and began scaling one of the trees that appeared to have greatly suffered under the weight of what they were assuming was Dalen. At least, the damage appeared fresh enough for that. He was careful with his steps, even as the other boys gathered at the base of the trunk to break his fall should he do so, and stayed mindful of the damage already done. When he reached as far as he felt he safely could, the caveman cast his gaze at the trees around them.

“Trail go,” he said slowly, pointing, “that way.”

“Alright.” Rook nodded, gesturing Kevin forward. They had Zed with them, and hopefully soon they would find a spot where Dalen had returned to the ground and the Baskurr could pick her scent back up. “Are you staying in the trees, or rejoining us down here?” Java took a moment to think about it, looking over the path through the trees. It seemed solid enough. Hopefully.

“Java stay in trees, keep others on track.” Another nod from the alien and a smile.

“Lead the way then.”

Everyone was back on the ground when the others found them again, having tracked them with Gwen’s magic, as planned, and made a beeline rather than following the Uktena’s path. Zed was back on the scent and tense at Kevin’s side as they all reconnected.

“The other one taken care of?” he asked, trying to keep the dog calm with long strokes down her neck. Gwen nodded.

“They’re going to find a space for them in the jungle,” she said, “and for Dalen once we get her.”

“Good.”

“Okay everybody,” Martin said, smiling and stretching, “get ready for Round Two.”

“Electric Boogaloo.”

“Rook, please don’t.”

The moment Zed started growling was déjà vu all over again. It wasn’t the same little valley, not the same river, and there was no concrete path leading ominously down into the shade, but it certainly felt the same. There were no trees down there, only dense underbrush. Thick masses of green bushes, grasses, vines, waist high and more, coated the bank on both sides. The river itself was deep, dark, and fast moving. No birds or insects sang.

In the center of the water, one could just make out the tips of antlers sticking out into the open air.

“So, Diamondhead again?” Ben asked, careful to keep his voice down. They were all fairly certain they were out of striking range, but that didn’t mean they wanted for her to notice them before she absolutely had to. Gwen shook her head.

“I’m not sure that would work,” she said. “I mean, they’ve already proved they’re smarter than your average snakes.”

“Or at least more social,” Martin added.

“It might be easier this time,” Rook said, “with only one for us to dogpile on.”

“And then we can worry about getting poisoned and maybe drowning,” Diana pointed out. “The last plan worked, but if we can avoid anyone having to lie over this thing’s nose I think we should go for it.”

“I’m with Diana,” Kevin chimed in, “holding the head down by hand is too risky.” Martin was the first to nod, followed by the rest.

“You’ve got a point,” he said, then held up the U-Watch. “U-Watch has a grappling hook, I might be able to hold her in place so Gwen can put her to sleep.”

“My proto-tool also has one,” Rook added, “we can each go for an antler.”

“Okay,” Ben said, “but can you two hold her on your own?”

“Java help,” the caveman said, and Kevin piped up along with him.

“With the four of us, it’d be, well not easy but not impossible. Then you and Diana can hold the back end while Gwen works her magic.” Nobody looked entirely comfortable with the idea, but then that wasn’t something that had ever stopped any of them from doing their jobs before. Ben gave a short, empty laugh.

“Probably be easier to just kill her.” Kevin huffed.

“As long you’re the one to tell her mother.” The team went quiet for a beat, two beats.

“Let’s go with the grappling hook plan.”

“Good idea.”

Zed was sent down into the valley first, as bait, despite Kevin’s vehement protests. The thinking here was that 1) she was small and fast and more likely to outspeed Dalen than any of the rest of them were, and 2) out of them she had the most experience with this sort’ve thing thanks to her old owner. They hoped she would lure the serpent out of the river and into the open, so they could have an easier time getting hold of her without running such a high risk of getting pulled under and drowned.

The plan worked. Dalen surged out of the river as soon as Zed was in range, just barely missing the Baskurr on the first strike (and the clenching of Kevin’s jaw was nearly audible at that). In an instant Zed was twisting on her heels and charging back up the snake-made trail towards Gwen with what felt in the moment an endless mass of magical serpent close behind. As soon as the alien dog had reached Gwen’s side Phase Two of Operation: Rescue Dalen From Herself went into action. In a flash of light Ben was replaced with Four Arms and he leapt down from where he and Diana had lain in wait at the top of the near cliff acting as the valley wall, landing heavily by the tail of the beast and grabbing hold. Dalen, of course, couldn’t be having with that and began to turn on herself to strike at him, only for the rest of the boys to jump into action.

From their positions hidden in the brush on either side of the trail Martin and Rook sprang forward, each taking quick aim and launching their grappling hooks at the nearest antlers to themselves. The response was vicious, with Dalen immediately trying to rear back and take them off their feet, only to be stopped by Kevin and Java’s intervention, grabbing hold of the other boys and the lines tethering her and digging in their considerably heftier and stronger heels. Between the pairs- Martin and Kevin on her right, Rook and Java on her left- she soon found herself struggling to move her head more than a half-foot in any direction, each attempt causing the opposing pair to yank back as hard as they could to keep her in place.

That was Diana’s cue. It had been decided, just before the plan went into action, that using Four Arms meant Ben wouldn’t need the help keeping Dalen’s back end under control, which freed her to help in other ways. Such as making sure nobody was sunken into despair by the gem on the Uktena’s head. Leaping down from the top of the cliff, she landed squarely on the serpent’s back, using the extra balance her tail gave her to scramble up to her head. Once there, she wrapped legs and tail around Dalen’s throat as well as she could before hefting Gwen’s now empty pack across her face, quickly stretching to catch the second strap and hold it tight so the Ulun'suti was suitably covered. Now, truly, the creature was as subdued as the non-magic-users could safely get her, and it was up to the only magic-user let unoccupied to finish the job.

Backing up to get a better view, Gwen opened her spellbook to the appropriate page. Thankfully it was a simple one, requiring her to trace what to a novice would’ve seemed an intricate pattern in front of her, one that rested in the air in a series of glowing pink lines, and pushing it gently towards the serpent alongside a single word incantation.

“Quiescis.”

It was like the entire valley went still, silent seconds stretching into something that felt like hours. The others kept their tight holds as the Uktena just, sat there, unmoving. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she slowly began to lower her head to the ground. They let her, each carefully releasing the breathes they’d held in anticipation as they loosened their grips and she curled in around herself, settling into a quietly coiled form in the brush. Nobody said a word for several moments. Diana slid from her back. Everyone watched the creature as if she may leap back up at any moment.

She didn’t.

“Yes!” With a series of whoops the whole team burst into massive grins. Java lifted Rook straight off his feet in a hug. Gwen burst into laughter, doubly so as Zed jumped up to lick at her face. A flash of light turned Ben back to himself in time to share a high five with Diana. Kevin threw an arm around Martin’s shoulder in a tight side-hug, a gesture Martin returned for about five seconds before realizing ‘proximity’ and ‘Kevin’ and trying to carefully edge away (it didn’t work) (“Have your crises on your own time, Mystery”). The relief that flooded the small valley was palpable as they crowed their victory, relishing in their safety, the Uktenas’ safety, and the public’s safety.

Everything was going to be fine.

“Good job, everyone,” MOM said as behind her Center employees carefully moved Dalen into a transport container, “thanks to you both Uktena will be moved to a reserve in South America where they won’t be any further threat to the public.”

“I’m sure Dalen’s family will be happy to know she’ll be safe, at least,” Diana said. Ben then chimed in.

“And, the other one, you’re going to find out who they are, right?”

“We’re going to try,” MOM said. “We can’t promise we’ll succeed, but we’re going to try.” The Tennysons didn’t look convinced, but before they could say anything Kevin tossed in a quick

“It’s better than the Plumbers have ever managed.” -and there really wasn’t a way for them to counter that.

“You should all be very proud of yourselves.” And with that MOM simply turned away, a final compliment before she gave her attention back to the people doing the transporting, leaving the team to their own selves once again.

“About that,” Martin said, grinning and holding out a hand for a professional shake, “great spellwork, Gwen. A resting spell rather than a sleeping spell, nice last-minute switch.” She laughed and accepted the shake.

“Thanks,” she said. “Kevin’s family may be tough enough for him not to worry about, but I really didn’t want to risk mine. And since you were so happy to see it in the book last night it was pretty close to the front of my mind.” Somehow Martin’s grin got wider.

“Awesome!”

“You guys all were great,” Ben said, stepping forward with Rook right behind him in action and word.

“We would love working with you again.”

“Hopefully with something involving less hypnotic snakes,” Gwen made sure to add. With a grin of her own Diana laughed.

“Tell me about it,” she said, “if I never see another one in my life it’ll be too soon.”

“And what about Osmosians who aren’t snakes?” Kevin asked, “‘cause I still gotta go fill in Dalen’s family, if you all wanna join me?”

They kind of did.

Turned out to find the pack you had to go down a well-hidden back road into an area of the park you could hardly even see from the main roads. Eventually you came to a dirt parking lot, half full of pick-ups and SUVs, and from there followed a trail down into one of the park’s biggest valleys. There were plenty of impressed whistles as Kevin pointed out things like the likely primary sunning spots for the pack, or explained how this massive cliff was likely run through with miles of tunnels and dens given the size of it and the age of the pack who lived there. At the base of the cliff, at the end of the trail, they found a large clearing with buildings built against the stone and so, many, people.

It wasn’t the whole pack by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still more than most of the group had been expecting. They’d figured Aaron and John- who were there, so at least they had those familiar faces- maybe the poor woman’s parents, mates perhaps, but it seemed that whole family branch was waiting on them. Everyone, from fluff covered children to the elderly, and in a variety of combinations from ‘totally all Ossy’ to ‘what are humans doing here?’ Most of the latter turned out to be relatives from the tribe, joined with their family to catch the news about their missing cousin.

The mood hadn’t been good when they arrived, everyone already knowing the news wasn’t likely to be happy. In fact, it’d improved slightly when they’d explained that Dalen wasn’t dead or kidnapped, just, well, turned into a giant snake and gone to live in the wilds and eat people. This was, apparently, considered at least semi-reasonable by the Osmosian side of things, even if the humans involved were very concerned and needed to be reassured that she and the other Uktena were being moved somewhere they couldn’t cause any problems. At which point they’d then had to reassure everybody that the Center could be trusted to move an Ossy, giant horned serpent or no.

Half an hour they were, just on “no, really, it’s cool, she’s gonna be fine, and we’re keeping an eye on it just in case anyway”. Paranoia apparently didn’t just run through the blood, it galloped.

The group found themselves invited to an early dinner, which quickly proved itself to also be a sort’ve wake. It seemed everybody had a story to tell about Dalen as they clustered at the edge of the clearing, drinking homebrew and eating a meal featuring heavily salted meat. A good meal, to the point Java and Kevin were both clamoring for some of the recipes (Martin and Diana had resigned themselves to a lifetime with regular bean bread from the caveman’s first bite), though it would’ve been better if they hadn’t all been served enough bear to kill a man. Apparently, it was the highest calorie food there and they were ‘all still growing’.

By the end of things more of the pack had come out to join them and the stories stopped being just about Dalen. Everyone had some tale to tell, whether they were traditional stories, tales of strange happenings, or the group telling story after story of their adventures. About wars, about hauntings, about survival in desolate landscapes and mad science gone horribly wrong. And when the stories got too scary for the little ones there were Java and Rook, off to the side telling them Revonnahan fairy tales and reciting Shakespeare comedies.

Half of the kids refused to go to bed until Java promised to come back sometime with his sock puppets and tell the stories properly. Another quarter had to be reminded that no, they could not go to Canada or Revonnah immediately, their families would miss them.

Again, the group stayed the night in the park, this time set up in a guest house that pointedly did not open into any of the tunnels or dens. Nobody even considered being offended, not with the (apparently reasonable?) paranoia, and their hosts made sure they had plenty of good food and water to keep them into morning. Many thanks followed them when they left the next day- for their stories, for coming to help, for not turning immediately to killing one of their own like so many outsiders would’ve done. (“I’m still not sure about that, I mean an Uktena-” “Pack.” “…...why do I even try?”) It was a great service they’d done both pack and tribe and there was no way they could leave without their gratitude having been made blindingly clear.

Still, nearly all of them agreed that the whole smoked turkey each was given was maybe going a bit overboard.

According to Kevin it was another Ossy thing.

So, they rolled with it.

Everything always seemed boring after a mission. Didn’t matter if the team was settling back in at Torrington, or at home over the holidays, that juxtaposition between being off in amazing places experiencing new things and fighting monsters and magic and returning to normal life was always jarring. Like stepping off a boat only for your body to suddenly realize that the ground was stable. But if he had to come back to anywhere, he was always glad when it was home, where he could retreat into his own little haven of weirdness.

His room at the Lombard-Mystery house made the one at Torrington look like Diana’s.

Their parents had long given up on being able to see the floor and now just accepted that it would always be ankle deep in everything from dirty underwear to magical talismans to rogue Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Though not food, not since the day their mom had actually brought out a flamethrower and brandished it in the direction of his door. Every square inch of wall space was covered in posters from various B-movies and sports events, and one massive mural of Hedorah he’d painted when he was twelve and was still way too proud of. The shelves strained under the weight of comic books, reference books, horror stories by everyone from Lovecraft to Ravenheart, and figurines of Digimon nobody would’ve ever expected to be able to find figurines for. Truly the only mostly-clear surfaces in the room were his bed, which was only half storage, and his desk, which held only a lamp flanked by figures of PlatinumNumemon and Raremon.

That gave him just enough space to continue his various studies into the weird and unusual and, most importantly, the magical, as he was doing at the moment. He’d come home, greeted his parents, regaled them with the story of he, Diana, and Java’s adventure (while Diana stood to the side, butting in every time he was explaining how awesome he was, the spoilsport), and ever since had been buried in his spellbook. There were so many new spells in it thanks to Gwen and he was absolutely enraptured. There was nothing quite the same as learning new magic and it would’ve taken a miracle to drag him away.

Or his phone going off, as the case may be.

Honestly even that didn’t really work. He didn’t even put down the turkey sandwich he’d made himself (they had too much turkey, somebody had to get rid of it), just pulled his phone out of his pocket blind, eyes still locked on the book.

“Hello, Martin Mystery speaking.”

“Hey Martin.” Finally, his attention was got. He didn’t look away from the book, but at least he stopped hunching over it.

“Tonio! Hey, how’s it going man?”

“Boring, for the most part. I might actually be starting to miss your antics.”

“Ouch. Terminal boring then.”

“Yep. If I don’t make it to the end of summer I’ve asked Mom to send you my comic collection.”

“Truly you’re the best friend.”

“I know.” There was a pause and Martin could’ve sworn he could hear the creak as Tonio leaned his chair back. He steeled himself, that always came with added teasing. “So, Diana said you guys went out of town.” Wait, since when did Diana have Tonio’s number? Since when did they talk? Exactly what sort’ve stories were they exchanging behind his back, and he knew if they were talking they were.

“Yeah,” Martin said, not letting on the sudden wariness he was feeling, “was pretty cool. Food was great, Java’s probably gonna be serving it in the cafeteria for half of next year.”

“Nice, nice,” he could almost see his friend nodding along in his mind’s eye, “she also said you met a cute guy.” No. Nope. Nada.

“I did not.” He was going to kill her.

“Really? She said you practically drooled.”

“That’s because she’s a liar. I know you don’t know this, but it’s a chronic thing with sisters.” She could forget college, she wasn’t even going to last to fall.

“It’s cool, man, there’s nothing wrong with you finding a guy you like. I was happy having a straight friend, but I can deal.” Scratch that, Martin was going to die, of embarrassment, right there at his desk. “Just don’t start flirting with me or anything.” He scoffed, huffed, and tore into his sandwich with feeling.

“Oh please, you couldn’t handle this much man.”

There was a loud thud on the other end of the line as Tonio fell to the ground laughing.

~*~

In the mid-afternoon a young Osmosian wanders the game trails that crisscross his pack’s territory. His dark and striped skin blends him in well with the mottled sunlight coming through the leaves and fragrant berries and flowers help to cover his scent from the prey he stalks. The goal is a deer, a plump young buck at best, to present as a gift to the object of his affections. A fresh kill, his own lone work, to show his attraction and dedication.

He can taste the remnants of one as easily as he can smell it. Somewhere in the area, he’s certain, is a spot where they sleep, and if he can find it and hide himself properly there then the kill will be easy.

What he doesn’t expect is to catch the scent of something else, something familiar yet unknown, running across the trail. Despite every warning his family has drilled into his head- about other packs, about poachers, about being seen without a disguise- curiosity wins out and pulls him off the trail and into the underbrush as surely as a hook through his nose. The tracks are old, the trail cold, but there’s still enough for a talented youth to follow. Enough to lead him onward, and onward, until nearly an hour has passed.

There’s a cave at the end of the trail. Not suitable for starting a new denning site, the roots of nearby trees are too thick and too close, there’s no room to expand. But still, inside he can taste life. Familiar life. Strange life. It’s with great caution he inches forward to see what there is to find.

The sight is one he knows well from checking on his relatives, on his sisters. A good dozen spheres of speckled grey rest in a depression in the dirt. Each is the size of a basketball, easily the largest he’s ever seen. There may even be more in the darkness, though he doubts it to look at them. Space there may be, but nothing else. Still, more or no, this is something for which he’ll need help, that the older members of the pack should know about, and so he turns and runs back down the faint trail with all the speed he can gather.

Several of the eggs are still glowing.

#fanfic #martin mystery #ben 10 #commissionwork #achi does commissionwork #like hell i'm tagging all the characters in this #i tried to be as respectful and accurate in my use of the uktena as i could so hopefully it came out right

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dpargyle · 7 years ago

Text

This is super long (I’m SORRY) – I have a lot of words inside me, kids.

so Thanksgiving was kinda…weird…

went up to my folks’ place in the town higher up into the mountains (above the city where I live) - and they had some neighbors over –

these neighbors’ little girl is best friends with my little sister (who is 13) (they go to school together, they’re inseparable, etc…) – and my Mum is really good friends with the Mom – and we’ve known them for like seven or eight years now – they’re good peeps, I like them –

ok - so these neighbors have a niece who’s like 22? 23? somewhere around there (she graduated college last year or the year before) - anyways… we (or at least I) first met her about 3 years ago…

cuz, ok – these neighbors are vegetarians or vegans or whatevs – and this girl visits them every thanksgiving I guess – but she’s a meat eater so 3 years ago my Mum’s friend (her aunt) was like “can we bring her over to grab some meat from your meal because she wants at least some meat on thanksgiving?” (who can blame her though? I’d literally lose my mind not eating meat! – it’s one of my three personal food groups: meat, chocolate, and milk shakes.)

And of course this was long after thanksgiving meal 3 years ago and nobody tells me anything (or maybe I wasn’t listening – that’s highly possible…) – and that night my Packers were playing (getting their asses kicked by their hated rival, the Bears) so, you know – I was sort of pissed off and yelling at the T.V. like an asshole

and then suddenly the neighbors were there with this cute girl [let’s call her Carnie – short for Carnivore - from here on out lol] (it took me like an hour to figure out she was my sister’s friend’s cousin) -

but my Packers were still playing and still sucking ass so I was paying more attention to that than anything else so after that I was like great I barely said anything to this girl (cuz I’m super shy and filled with an avalanche of various anxieties) and now she probably thinks I’m a total Neanderthal cuz I was grumbling at some asinine football game and she seems like the intellectual type so I’m simply gonna file this entire dumb experience to the furthest cabinet at the back of my brain where the dingy light bulbs flicker on and off in the most nauseating way – like I have with so many other dumb experiences before this and probably so many other dumb experiences after this because FAIL. FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.

So last year Carnie shows up with them again after dinner and we all play some games but my brother and a bunch of his friends were there too, so I literally don’t think I said more than one word to her? Maybe I did? (But not much cuz when my big bro is around I don’t really talk to girls cuz I have vivid memories of him mocking my lack of macking skills back in high school and they still haunt me hahaha) In any case, I don’t think I talked to her - dunno, can’t remember, anyway – at least there wasn’t a Packer game on, so I don’t think I completely embarrassed myself that time either…

So now I can finally talk about this Thanksgiving hahaha (gods I’m frikken long-winded – sorry kids!) – so I find out like 3 days ago Carnie & the neighbors will be joining us for the entire day so I’m all

My bro and his wife moved away recently so I knew they wouldn’t be there and I surmised that meant Carnie & I would probably end up talking quite a bit because we’d be the only people around our age there, so I was determined not to be A) a Neanderthal and B) weird, but otherwise I didn’t really have many expectations (again, b4 Thursday I didn’t know much about her at all so why would I?) – I basically just didn’t wanna come off like a douche again….

So when they all come over I’m helping my Mum out in the kitchen with the cooking/getting everything prepared (etc…) – don’t know how much help I was giving tbh, but I wanted to be involved cuz my Dad’s been having leg issues that make him unable to stand for long periods of time and my little sister had been helping with a bunch of other crap throughout those couple days so I was attempting to pull my weight hahaha (and, ok, I knew if I was helping with the cooking when they came in I’d look a lot less like a Neanderthal – but trust me that was low down on the list of reasons why I was helping my Mum out!)

So they come in and we all say hi blah blah blah, but I didn’t really try to engage too much cuz I was helping my Mum with a complicated timing issue with the food, so my focus was on that and not the cutie in the room – so then I finish helping my Mum with that in the kitchen and I didn’t wanna hover and be creepy & weird, cuz you peeps know my default when I’m around cute girls – my brain is like DON’T BE WEIRD! JUST DON’T BE WEIRD - DON’T BE WEIRD!

So I was like alright I’m gonna go sit in the living room and try to act like I’m cool and relaxed, so I roll my wheelchair in there, put my feet up - and attempt to exude serenity – and after like two minutes my sis and her buddy come in and start petting my Mum’s cat and talking a bit, but I don’t really enter the conversation cuz they seemed very happy talking amongst themselves and I didn’t wanna butt in –

But then Carnie comes and joins them, and we start talking a little bit and she picks up a random magazine from a coffee table and starts flipping through it and there was an article or something about homeless people and she’s talking about it and then turns to her little cousin and goes [something along the lines of] “you know, I’ve heard you should call them ‘people currently experiencing homelessness’ not ‘homeless people’ – because they’re still people.” And the kid kinda gives her a blank look so Carnie goes [something along the lines of] “hey – if I can influence you for the better, I’m gonna try!” (She definitely didn’t say that but something similar and with much better wording…)

So I’m like, hey, this girl isn’t a ruthless capitalist – good to know [files that away].

(I mean, I’m not necessarily saying I agree with her – it’s a similar argument to when people say “you should say people with disabilities, not disabled people” – and I get what people are doing when they say that – they’re trying to be person-centric and sometimes, as a disabled person, I appreciate that - but sometimes I wonder if that kinda stuff actually helps at all)

However, it demonstrated she thinks about that kinda stuff and aims to be empathetic and that’s certainly not nuffin’.

Then we got to talking and she told me she lives/works one state over (interestingly, it’s a blue state) and really likes it – but then my Mum needed some more help so I went back in the kitchen to help her out – and while I was there Carnie comes bouncing over (yes – she bounces – it’s adorable – she kinda reminded me of a particularly vivacious koala if that makes sense? (but attractive lmao) – anyway…)

– and her aunt is talking to my Mum and we’re all in the kitchen and Carnie comes in and goes up to her aunt and [smiling] goes –

“Am I not cool anymore???” Cuz I guess she used to think her little cousin thought she was cool and hip (looked up to her) and now the kid’s giving her the cold shoulder a bit hahaha and she was laughing cuz she thought she was the cool older cousin and the aunt was like “that’s just cuz she’s 13 and that’s how they are” and I was like “I’ve never been cool to [my little sister] – welcome to the club!” and Carnie laughed –

and then we talked about how we think my sis and her cuz are the “Queen Bees” of their middle school which I said I was amused by b/c back in grade school I was always the weirdo ubernerd and she said she was always the funny (she’s actually really funny and quick-witted) geeky friend to all the pretty girls and I almost said “but you’re pretty too!” but then I didn’t cuz it was right in front of her aunt and my Mum and again I was trying very hard NOT TO BE WEIRD hahahaha…

So, anyway, we talk on and off throughout the night (I was super careful to give her space and not be all up in her grill even though I realized I was beginning to kinda like her) – but more often than not she sought me out (probably because we were the only ones around our age group/generation there) but she seemed to genuinely appreciate my company and we made each other laugh – and tbh y’all - she was just really easy to talk to – like we GOT each other, you know? Or maybe that was simply just my perception and my head is up my ass again (more than possible) – but I was getting a good VIBE you know?

Anyway…. so we’re talking in the kitchen again – and we start talking about books and OMG OMG OMG

I’m pretty sure she brought up the topic – and she mentions how she’s a huge fantasy fan (magic, dragons) and I guess my face did a thing or something

cuz her Aunt (who was passing us on her way to the fridge or something) goes “uh oh, watch out [Carnie,] [bundles] will start having a crush on you if you keep talking about dragons!” (which, OK, fair enough, but does EVERYONE know how fuckin NERDY I am hahaha?) so at this point I’m like

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT in my head and I’m like OMG BUNDLES DON’T BLUSH DON’T BLUSH DON’T YOU EFFIN BLUSH….but knowing me,

I probably did.

(Like I really don’t think I was being obvious – but who knows, maybe I was? I honestly just think her Aunt was teasing me and literally didn’t mean anything by it) – in any case I was trying SO HARD to control my face at this point that I didn’t really get a good look at Carnie’s reaction – though I don’t think she blushed or anything, she mighta just smirked…

So we keep talking and Carnie says that even though fantasy is her fictional bread & butter she’s trying to do this system where she reads one fantasy book “for fun”, then a book for professional improvement, then a book for personal improvement, then goes through that same cycle all over again, which – first of all-

But secondly, it shows someone who’s attempting to grow and improve themselves and I 100% approve of that kind of attitude to life – because not everyone is like that, you know?

And then we exchange Goodreads info – hers is her full name [important for later] and mine is dbundles42 like everywhere else on the internet because synergy, man!

And without hesitation, Carnie goes “oh, 42, like from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?” And not many people get that reference, but she got it literally immediately and I was like

So, basically, she was impressing the shit outta me is what I’m tryna get across here lol…

The night deepens, and we continue talking – eventually everyone goes downstairs, sits around the gaming table – and starts playing games – and in a brief moment of Zen boldness I channel someone much more badass than I

And I go “[Carnie] – you’re on my team!” (cuz for one of the games we were playing a team-based trivia game) and she grinned, came over, and sat right next to me.

(So I wanted to be on a team with her cuz A) it was a good excuse to get to know her better B) I thought we’d kick ass cuz we’re the same generation and might be able to communicate better than we would with people not of our generation C) she’s wicked smart D) I wanted to see how well we’d cooperate and E) I often feel like I tend to steamroll people if I’m on a team with them cuz my mind goes so fast and I’m yelling out the answers without consulting my team (my family are VERY competitive when it comes to games) and I wanted to challenge myself by not being that sort of jackass (you know, self-improvement ftw!) – and I wanted to listen to what she had to say anyway)

So we play this trivia game and I try VERY hard not to steamroll her but I must admit I sometimes did – but I did better than usual and we KICKED ASS and won. It was amazing. Our enemies’ lamentations were melodious to our conquering ears.

Anyway, that’s not the point – this is the point – so halfway through the game I begin to realize Carnie’s and my legs are touching (under the table). And had been touching for like at least ten minutes before I realized they were and I was like

(And I suddenly had this hilarious/horrific flashback to that one time in college ( @lmnp– you’ll know exactly who I’m talking about hahaha) when I was eating at a dunkin donuts with this cute girl I was friends with and her boyfriend and she suddenly started playing footsie with me under the table and I was like OMG I’m about to get my ass kicked lmao)

So now I’m like WTF? How is this happening right now????? (sometimes, I agree with @puddle--wonderful in that I very much feel like Artoo where he gets himself into these ridiculous situations again and again and again and all he can do is just SCREAM as they’re happening to him and just hope for the best, you know?)

So I’m like alright Bundles, calm down, she doesn’t mean anything by it, it’s probably just-

But what if she does mean something by it?

I mean, she’s been drinking a lil – but nothing close to getting sloshed – like she might be lightly buzzed but nothing more –

And then I start thinking like - what if she just thinks I’m paralyzed from the waist down and can’t actually feel my legs or something – like she just wants to touch someone with no consequences (this is literally my thought process at this point – as nonsensical as that sounds) – so I’m like

OK, OK, OK – this is sort of amazing and all – but like I gotta do something to show her I can feel my legs and that I’m aware our legs are touching (again maybe I was reading something into absolutely nothing – I’m a touch-starved person so maybe it was literally not a thing on her mind – BUT WHAT IF IT WAS???)

So I’m like OK, I’m gonna just move my leg (again, when I’m sitting in my chair that isn’t the easiest thing to do – but I can do it) so she knows that I’m not paralyzed (why am I always trying to prove myself lmao?)

So I do – I move my leg.

And then like two minutes later our legs are touching again. Even more now, probably. Again – maybe just a coincidence? Maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion??? I’m probably blowing things out of proportion. But then again –

OK – in a normal situation – if two relative strangers’ legs start touching, they very quickly move them, right? Unless they’re interested in each other, right?

And so our legs are touching again and she just doesn’t even move hers. So I’m like alright I guess I’m not gonna move mine then, am I?

Like why did I move my leg in the first place? Why am I trying to deprive myself of something nice? And it was nice. Her warmth. Her company. Her vivaciousness. Like shit, it felt so good. I felt warm. And happy. Why do I so often think I don’t deserve happiness?

I’ve been hurt before, I guess. That’s why. I’ve been hurt – all the times – before. So I’m defensive and pessimistic and I find reasons why something might not be the way I want it to be even if all evidence points to it being that way – I mean -

We just left out legs like that.

For a good fifteen minutes.

It was nuts.

I mean, it was through two pairs of jeans but that is literally the longest I’ve been in such close contact with a woman. Ever. I guess that sounds incredibly pathetic. I’m 28.

And maybe that’s just a thing she does with her buddies and it’s literally not a big deal at all to her – she did say she was super good at making friends really quickly so maybe it was a friend “I’m gonna rub your leg against mine for 15 minutes straight” but now that I’ve typed that shit out IT DOESN’T ADD UP.

IT JUST DOESN’T ADD UP!

I think she was flirting with me?

Holy shit I think she was flirting with me.

She was flirting with me!

Anyway – lemme wrap this up cuz I’ve been going on for thousands of words right now and I’m sure you’re all tired of my nonsense lmao…

Turns out she’s sort of a Packer fan too – she said “I’m not really into sports but if I was the Packers would be my team” (and she said that b4 I told her how much of a cheesehead I am so she wasn’t saying that just for my benefit) so maybe she didn’t even think I was a frikken Neanderthal the first time we met? And I’ve been feeling like an idiot for three years for NO FRIKKEN REASON???????????? ARGHHHH!

She also said I was funny, which was nice :D

Also – during the last game we played – (it was one of these “you gotta use a one-word clue in order for your teammates to connect that clue to other random words on the board” games – and I was the person coming up with the clue (Codenames is the name of the game for those curious)) -

For one of the turns, I chose to give the clue ‘Penzance’ in order to get my teammates to guess ‘Opera’ and ‘Eye’. (I was thinking ‘Pirates of Penzance’ (which is a Gilbert & Sullivan opera) – admittedly ‘eye’ (cuz eyepatch) was a bit of a stretch but I really don’t think ‘Opera’ was cuz my Dad was one of my teammates and he’s ye olde and English so I thought he’d get it in a heartbeat…

So for this game my Dad and a couple other guys were on my team while my Mum and Carnie were on the girls’ team and at that point I was on the opposite end of the table – while my Dad faced me (sitting down) – and my Mum & Carnie were standing behind him looking at the word cards on the table –

And it takes my Dad FOREVER to figure out the connection between my clue and those cards – meanwhile my Mum knew it immediately (of course) – but what surprised me is that Carnie got it immediately too (like holy shit, for serious this girl is on another level!) – but they’re on the opposing team so of course they’re not gonna say anything

But they’re both cracking up behind him and my other teammates as they take like 10 minutes cuz they have no idea what words connect with ‘Penzance’ and our other teammates go “Where’s Penzance?” So my Dad goes into this long diatribe about Cornwall and the seaside and how there are railroads???? for some reason and I can’t say anything either like HE’S SO FAR OFF MY CLUE AT THIS POINT

So my expression must be completely frustrated at this point and my Mum and Carnie are dying with laughter like Carnie is literally jumping up and down a bit with the energy of holding in the answer (which totally reminded me of something Ja’lin might do, @marisolinspades – honestly, she reminded me of her quite a bit – just totally gregarious and, well, bouncy)

I dunno, it was just a really funny moment…

Anyway – all good things, etc… - the night was finally coming to a close (at like 12:30 AM lol) – but before they left we were all talking in the foyer, etc… - and Carnie is talking to people and leans her body on the handlebar on the back of my chair (she was super tired by that point, she said) –

I’m 90% she didn’t realize that I kinda see my chair as an extension of myself and my own body (dunno if you feel that way about your chairs, @puddle--wonderful @justrollinon?) – so I’m pretty sure she didn’t know how intimate that can come across – either way, it was really nice – like she felt safe enough around me to do that?

Usually when people lean on my chair I’m like GTFO but when they’re sweet, beautiful women I get more lenient about that hahahaha

So perhaps not as telling as the whole legs situation, but still. It was nice.

So, yeah, that was my Thanksgiving…

Ughh and now I’m all like crap I met this girl who’s really cool and easy to talk to and a total nerd but she doesn’t even live in this godsforsaken state and UGHHH why must the divinities taunt me so?????????

So we did add each other on goodreads but now I’m like maybe I should add her on facebook too to try and keep in touch with her? Or is that too creepy? Have I already left it too long???

Should I maybe move on completely – I mean my family is already good friends with this family I don’t wanna do something potentially weird – should I just leave it be? – should i just

I just don’t really want to. Even if it doesn’t work out romantically or whatevs I’m not one to leave a potential good friendship in the dust – and it’s really not everyday I meet someone who can keep up with me as effortlessly as Carnie did. People like her don’t come around very often.

I dunno – what do you kids think I should do? TELL ME - I’M LOSING IT (as usual).

Maybe I just read the situation completely wrong and I’m totally up my own ass trying to see things that aren’t there…I just….

I didn’t get that impression this time? Like it was just…..I didn’t have to work so hard to get her to like me, you know? It was effortless - like we’d been really good friends for years - And that was…

nice.

______

I’m leaning towards adding her on facebook - but what do you kids think? I’m also gonna tag -

@aspiringwarriorlibrarian, @pepperonicombos

@crazy--little--things – tagging you as well. You’ve always given me good advice, ever since we were in high school.

And anyone else who wants to give advice, you are welcome to too - though I doubt anyone else has read this far lmao...

gods I’m long-winded...

#tales from the wasteland

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spectrumscribe · 7 years ago

Text

i got around to watching the latest TMNT episode, and it turned into 44 minutes of pure salt with my friend @lulusoblue.

read below the saltmagedon.

onthespectrumwriting:

i'm finally watching the new ep and i'm five minutes in.

i honestly hate how much romance there is in this. :///

eeeerrrrRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAUGH

CAN

NOT

PAIR THEM OFF

GOD

onthespectrumwriting:

especially leorai

lulusoblue:

there's a difference between romance and ship bait

onthespectrumwriting:

jfc

i hate all of this

lulusoblue:

same

onthespectrumwriting:

no shipping allowed okay

lulusoblue:

and i haven't even watched the fuckin ep

onthespectrumwriting:

at all

lulusoblue:

i can't even bring myself to watch Demon Mark Hamill's arc

onthespectrumwriting:

there's a brief amount of good donnie stuff in there

onthespectrumwriting:

otherwise: eh

oh there's also good mikey and leatherhead stuff

FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP IT WITH THE LEORAI FLIRTING

GOD

they

they had raph wink at my girl y'gythgba

and she did this little blushy thing

noooooo

if this has to be a Thing

onthespectrumwriting:

that goes the other way around

rgh

lulusoblue:

take the reciprocative canon ship

it's as good as it will get

onthespectrumwriting:

it makes me uncomfortable

on the other hand

the utrom are precious and should be protected

pls stop murdering them

lulusoblue:

it's as good as it will get

onthespectrumwriting:

BUT ITS BAD

lulusoblue:

sorry my phone repeated the message twice

YES BUT IT COULD BE WORSE

onthespectrumwriting:

ITS STILL BAD

ALL OF THIS IS BAD

lulusoblue:

honestly thank god none of the other pairings are canon because they're terirble

onthespectrumwriting:

oh for fuck's sake y'gythgba's entire planet went to war because she couldn't sacrifice one shitty turtle

apparently a shit ton of their soldiers died because of it

lulusoblue:

p sure if any of them were actually canon they would be ACTUALLY lovey dovey and not just hanging out to make Raph jealous that his bros are around their crushes

lulusoblue sent a post Tell me that wasn't a...

is my phone just du

lulusoblue:

plicating shit what the fuck

onthespectrumwriting:

maybe

see?

romance gets you nothing good in this universe

OH BAD SHIT IS HAPPENING BC THEY GOT DISTRACTED BY EACH OTHER

I AM FURTHER VINDICATED

onthespectrumwriting:

off topic all the boys and april need to use a phone tower to climb down but my girl karai can straight up scale a flat wall

oh and now she's back to being useless

okay then

onthespectrumwriting:

eyyyy april

punch him

punch him good

lulusoblue:

what is up with the writing like wtf

onthespectrumwriting:

god this is so bad so far

at least april did a thing

that was nice

it was a brief thing

but a thing

where the fuck is my son casey tho

onthespectrumwriting:

off topic: y'gythgba is still really good looking

OH SHUT UP RAPH YOUR OLDER GIRLFRIEND IS NOT GOING TO GIVE UP HER LIFE AS AN ACCOMPLISHED MILITARY WOMAN TO LIVE IN THE FUCKING SEWERS AND EAT GARBAGE

okay the writing is actively making me die right now

they pulled a "-and your little dog too" type line

onthespectrumwriting:

where is y'gythba's fucking sword??? WHY DID THEY TAKE AWAY HER SWORD AND LEAVE HER WITH A PISTOL WHAT

god this is like april in the space arc all over again

snrk omg

lulusoblue:

k watching your commentary is like

onthespectrumwriting:

why thank you

also newt's voice actor slurred a little and bishop came out as "bitchass"

lulusoblue:

Pffdffforplrprrlrddfffffft

onthespectrumwriting:

oh hey so newt is a brainwashing victim nice

OH EW NO DO NOT EAT THE LITTLE BRAIN THING

you don't know where that's been, and i can see how badly the brainwashing has sucked his brian cells

he's so stupid

this dialogue is shit

why is that one utrom fucking french

but where is casey is what i'm really wondering

onthespectrumwriting:

also: how will being in the D-x atmosphere affect april? since this is the first time

utrom are still cute btw, they're so adorably pink and tentacled

NO QUEENIE

LEAVE HER ALONE

she's like, one of the few female characters left

oh god more utrom vore

newt no

and donnie steals the weapon from the utrom

nice

my klepto son strikes again

onthespectrumwriting:

WHERE

Y'GYTHGBA'S

FUCKING

SWORD

WHY DOES SHE HAVE A DINKY LITTLE PISTOL WHAT THE FUCK

FUCK THIS

lulusoblue:

"why is that one utrom fucking french"

coz he gave up

onthespectrumwriting:

hahahahaha

april is doing cool stuff again

onthespectrumwriting:

good

let's add water bending to her abilities lmao

well it didn't work but it was neat

now newt is playing at being mr. electro

lulusoblue:

"WE THREW IN A REFERENCE ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW"

not until April chooses the Blue Spirit over Casey and Donnie

onthespectrumwriting:

like out of spirderman two- MIKEY NO WHAT THEFUCK

NO HEY NOT OKAY

BRING BACK MY SON

wow they're causing a citywide black out and also mikey is dead

OH HAHAHAHA ITS THE BUG GUY

lulusoblue:

nickelodeon: "just kill em all"

onthespectrumwriting:

THERE'S A GIANT BUG INT HE SKY I'M YELLING

HIS SHIP IS A GIANT FUCKING BUG THAT’S SHITTING OUT DRONES

okay we're fucked

nice to know

mike's dead the world has no power and we're being invaded

oh and the romance apocalypse is still happening too

so we're really fucked

lulusoblue:

Dregg:

fuck where the Oprah bees gif shit

onthespectrumwriting:

hahaha i get what your aiming for here

also new york is experiencing being shat upon by alien bugs

nice

OH HER SWORD IS BACK

Y'GYTHGBA MAGICALLY HAS HER SWORD AGAIN

WHERE

WAS IT

YOU FUCKS

hahahaha oh god i hate this

all of it

onthespectrumwriting:

also none of the family is giving any fucks right now that mikey is literally dead

my god

this is like The Power Inside Her all over again

do they only freak out when its leo??? apparently so

so far this ep is getting a 2/10

and only bc of the sick bug ship

WHERE

MY SONS

casey mikey where are you

onthespectrumwriting:

"if you talk to my woman like that again-" HAHAHA OH SHE'S //YOUR// WOMAN NOW???

EXCUSE ME

WHEN DID SHE AGREE TO THAT SHIT

raph take that patriarchal nonsense and shove it up your asshole where it belongs

eighties TV has taught you nothing good

what a load of dicks

okay the show lost its two points for that line

fuck that

0/10

lulusoblue:

uh oh

onthespectrumwriting:

bs extravaganza

that's what this is

raph, bishop, both of you go eat ten bags of dicks and choke

and for the love of god DOES NO ONE CARE THAT MIKEY IS DEAD

lulusoblue:

death is an illusion i thought u knew

onthespectrumwriting:

"i can take care of myself raphael, thank you" honey just punch him already, i know you want to for that shitty possessive comment

oh shit nice y'gythgba is into utrom vore too

hahaha

yeah literally the only good thing here is the bigass alien ship

lulusoblue:

why did you make me read that with my own two eyes

onthespectrumwriting:

bc you have to suffer with me

also leo and g'throkka are uselessly captured

hahahaha

damseled in distress

raph's plan is to strap as many missiles to a barge boat as physically possible and then throw it at the ship

raph, honey, that's not how physics work

"i like it, but it feels... a little too much" y'gythgba just say it. its a shitty, shitty plan

don't spare this child's feelings

he needs to be knocked down like ten pegs anyways, the angst muffin he is

"you think? that's a mikey level bad idea" april calling things as they are

onthespectrumwriting:

and look

she's the Only One to feel a moment of "wow he's fucking dead"

LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE COMMENTED ON THIS FACT OTHER THAN RAPH'S OFF HANDED "mikey's been disintegrated" and then NOTHING

ggggggod

off topic: where the fuck is casey

my son

where is my son

have you seen my son???

lulusoblue:

he's probably getting his teeth foxed

*fixed

at P Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney

onthespectrumwriting:

he'll get those knocked out in two days tops hahahaha

wow this is disturbing

humans being glued to a tower with spit

where is the fucking military

this is literally their job

oh donnie, oh april

you can't do anything cool in this series anymore, accept it

haha oh my god

onthespectrumwriting:

they're stealing this right out of my fanfic at this point

mikey brought himself back from the dead

by pulling his molecules back together

this is exactly like my fanfic what the hell

electricity powers, existence despite apparently being dead, etc

also: wow what a lack of happiness that he's not dead

i'd like to call plagiarism.

lulusoblue:

"what iz emote?"

onthespectrumwriting:

this is so stupid

i did it better

onthespectrumwriting:

okay the bug prisons are uncomfortably like assholes

OH EW THEY'RE USING THE TRUSSED UP PEOPLE AS BUG EGG FOOD

THIS IS PARASITICA ALL OVER AGAIN BUT CITYSCALED

off topic: newt has a collection of utrom arms tied to his belt

just

chilling there

lulusoblue:

as you do

onthespectrumwriting:

he's got severed limbs flopping all over

bet that made bishop uncomfortable

onthespectrumwriting:

oh shit its the military

its only been like a half a day since the world started ending

not like they're late

and where are the fighter jets guys

a ground assault won't do shit

oh no

its the turtle mech

again

....

i feel nothing, i never liked it

its so vulnerably designed??

like the cockpits are right in the front, completely undefended

nice raph's bug phobia is probably having a hay day in his head rn

parasite leeches are always great to deal with

eyyyy mike gets to do shit for once

he beat the last big bad, and now he's going to beat this one

how much do you bet they won't thank him this time either

my murderous daughter strikes again

she's so excited to flamethrow a bunch of bugs

dialogue still killing me

HA THE MECH GOT TOTALED

WHAT A SURPRISE

donnie is going to cry about that

i feel bad for him

he spent months on that stupid thing

oooooh SHIT

mikey is KILLING IT today

my son

i'm so proud of you

your shitty family doesn't deserve you or donnie

mikey is doing so great, i'm so proud

they're also in the heart of a giant space bug ship now, and he's got electro powers so

he's gonna FUCK THEIR SHIT UP

go child

this is the one thing you're good at

destruction of all good things

do it

meanwhile everyone else is having fun with bugs

revenge for all the magnifiers in the world

karai and april continue to not be allowed to be useful

ugh

lulusoblue:

ps is karai still a snake orrr

onthespectrumwriting:

she's done no snake things this whole ep

they're wasting her

but, on the bright side

confirmed: they're dating

femslash wins everyone go home

lulusoblue:

WHAT bright side?

onthespectrumwriting:

the gay bright side

mr. brightside

mikey is fucking shit up and i'm still proud of him

he died and literally brought himself back all on his own

this kid has so much to him

why does his family/the fandom/the show not get this

well he didn't beat the big bad on his own, but he did 99% of the work

MY SON IS SACRIFICING HIMSELF NO

mikey nooooooo

THEY JUST LEAVE HIM????

APRIL IS LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED THAT THIS KID SACRIFICED HIMSELF

wow he died for you assholes and all he gets is a highfive

and then they take his powers

and

clothes???

he's naked.

okay.

"pizza's on me!" leo you don't have money

you can't even go get the pizza without starting a riot

why would you say that

WHAT

Y'GYTHGBA HONEY DON'T DO THIS

NONONONONONONONONO

okay so one

this is violating intergalactic laws

like ten of them at least

for another

y'gythgba don't do this

don't give up a very successful military career for a shitty teenage boy

he's not even twenty yet and he lives in the sewers angsting all day

you could do //so much better//

god no

he's not even letting her crash at his place

he's sending her to live with the mutanimals

"hey you gave up your entire life to be with me, how's crashing at my weird cousins' place sound? they're also fugitives and inhuman, you'll fit right in"

have

SO MUCH SALT ABOUT THIS

and then they end it there

*throws monitor through the wall*

FUCK THIS BULLSHIT

onthespectrumwriting:

so that was one of the worst two-part specials i've ever watched

i'm going to go find something sweet to eat and then try to find purpose in life

#my writing #When World's Collide #i think that was the name #idk #i was too busy being pissed off about everything #literally this is just salt #i have no good things to say here that weren't ironic #or otherwise me making a joke #*sighs deeply*#tmnt #TMNT 2012 #we're the devil #(they didn't say thank you to mikey or even check if he was okay)#(where was casey and shini)#(who the fuck let this two-part ep thing be green lighted)

21 notes · View notes

and-his-name-is-rouge-crimson · 8 years ago

Note

1-100 or whichever you care to tell me... I would like to know everything though :3

Well here goes the rest of my night :3 1-100 here we go.

1. When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal, or more cereal than milk?

Answer: It honestly depends on the cereal. If it’s anything from the CheeryO’s family, I’ll eat that milk-less. If it’s Cookie Crisp, or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I had better have some damn milk.

2. Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a cold wintery day?

Answer: FUCK NO!! WINTER SUCKS!!

3. What random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Answer: I just remember the page number. Despite my crap memory, I somehow manage to remember what page I was on when I’m reading.

4. How do you take your coffee/tea?

Answer: I’ll take an energy drink instead.

5. Are you self-conscious of your smile?

Answer: Admittedly yes, I don’t like giving toothy smiles whenever I or someone else takes a picture.

6. Do you keep plants?

Answer: No, plants=bees. I hate bees. I’m not allergic or anything, I’ve just been stung one too many times for me to feel comfortable around bees. Hell if anything buzzes past my ear, I reflexively flinch even if it’s just a house fly. So no plants for me.

7. Do I name my plants?

Answer: *skips*

8. What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Answer: I write. A lot, though I’m a little self-conscious to post a lot of it

9. Do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Answer: Oh hell yes, I’ll do this all the time. At home, in the car, at work, with my friends … I’ve said too much.

10. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Answer: I answered this one already, but since you asked me to do 1-100 (and like a fool who clearly does not value what he does with what is left of his evening) I’ll answer this one again. I’ll fall asleep on my stomach or back, and somehow find myself awake on my sides.

11. What’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Answer: Ohhh there are several, all with an interesting story behind it. Anyone reading this feel free to ask about said stories of said inside jokes. However, the two best ones I can think of at the moment are: “White-face Mexican Jesus,” and “I’m trying to send a donkey to someone for their birthday, but customs is being a bitch!”

12. What is your favorite planet?

Answer: Pluto (”Ohhh but that’s not a planet anymore” fuck off it’s a planet if I say it’s a planet. And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!)

13. What is something that made you smile today?

Answer: Listening to Neon by Jeff and Casey Lee Williams.

14. If you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Answer: Shit. I’m still figuring Tumblr out, so I have NO idea how to link stuff (embed or html or whatever the fuck it is) so… for a base idea, probably something like 221b Baker Street from BBC’s Sherlock.

15. Go Google a weird space fact and tell us what it is.

Answer: *skips*

16. What is your favorite pasta dish?

Answer: Just give me spaghetti and meatballs.

17. What color do you really want to dye your hair?

Answer: Purple. It’s my favorite color, but I seem to have a distinct lack of purple in my wardrobe. But if I was to dye my hair, it would have to be a real dark purple.

18. Tell something dumb/funny that has since gone down in history between you and your friends that is always brought up.

Answer: *deep breath* No.

19. Do you keep a journal? And what do you write/draw in it?

Answer: I do not keep or have ever kept a journal.

20. What is your favorite eye color?

Answer: Dark brown, kind of like my own.

21. Talk about your favorite bag. One that has been to hell and back, and that you love to pieces.

Answer: Okay, well I still use this backpack. I’ve had it since my freshman year in high school. Its right strap is worn down, because I only ever wore it over my right shoulder, and still only ever wear it over my right shoulder. There’s also a Wings of Freedom button on the right strap, despite my dislike for the Attack on Titan anime (I liked the manga better). That backpack has been through high school, survived college, and gone to every single anime convention I’ve gone to since I’ve had it.

22. Are you a morning person?

Answer: No, I’m more of a crack of noon person. But high school has ingrained it into my brain that I need to wake up at the ass crack of dawn.

23. What’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days when you have 0 obligations?

Answer: Oh so everyday I don’t have work? Okay then. I either write or play video games, I’m currently playing Mass Effect Andromeda and loving it (despite the issue with the character customization).

24. Is there someone out there that you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Answer: Yes, and they know who they are.

25. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

Answer: My friend Neil and I once had to break into his own house because he forgot his keys, and nobody else was home. There was a ladder under the balcony of his parents bedroom, we set it up, and Neil held the thing in place while I climbed up and over the ladder and over the balcony (thank god the sliding glass door was unlocked).

26. What shoes have you had forever and wear with every single outfit?

Answer: Normally my shoes don’t last that long.

27. What’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Answer: Ummmm… I don’t have a preference to bubble gum flavors. :3

28. Sunrise or sunset?

Answer: Sunset. Sleep is good.

29. What is something really cute one of your friends does, and is really endearing?

Answer: One of them is our designated group mom, and she cares for all of us. Love you Panda!

30. Think of it: Have you ever been truly scared?

Answer: Yes. There is a local haunted place close to where I live. It was an old rock crusher/munitions factory back in WWII, before it exploded and covered nearly all of it’s workers in acid. Since then the place has been haunted by the spirits of the workers who have died there. And then some idiots attempted to perform some ritual to summon some sort of demon … And it fucking worked. Anyways, my friend Neil and I go up there a few years ago on Halloween. In reality I allowed myself to be talked into it, but I was so freaked out the whole time we were up there, and I could have sworn I was seeing shit move just past the range of my vision. Anyways we are about to head back to his house, and we are right in front of the old rock crusher, when I become aware that Neil is not walking beside me. When I turn around, I see him passed out in front of the old structure … Then I hear this horrible voice in my ear: “Leave him, he belongs to us now.”

31. What is your opinion of socks? Do you sleep with socks? Do you confine yourself to white sock hell? Really, just talk about socks.

Answer: *skips*

32. Tell a story that happened at 3am while you were with friends.

Answer: Ummmm there are no stories like that. Even if we’re at cons, we’re asleep before midnight.

33. What’s your favorite pastry?

Answer: Cinnamon covered doughnuts. So good~

34. Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a child.

Answer: I had/have 3. A lamb, and 2 teddy bears. I don’t remember what happened to the lamb. I know it’s in the house somewhere, I just don’t know where. But as for the teddy’s: One is a standard-size teddy bear named *drumroll* Teddy. I was adopted when I was 4 days old, and Teddy is the only thing that I have from my birth mother. The second one is larger, kinda like the size of a carnaval prize. He was given to my by my Uncle Desmond “Dezzy” Caine (I really miss Uncle Dezzy), so he’s named the Dezzy Bear. I still sleep with both and I’ll be 25 in like 9 days. Dezzy still props up my pillows.

35. Do you like stationary and pretty pens?

Answer: Meh, they’re not so bad. I have really bad handwriting so I’m kinda divided 50/50

36. Which band’s sound would suit your mood right now?

Answer: Nightwish. Oh their lead singer’s voice is beautiful~

37. Do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

Answer: Messy, definately messy. Sure it looks disorganized, but I know where everything is in the mess.

38 Talk about your pet peeves.

Answer: No, it’s too late at night for that shit.

39. What color do you wear the most?

Answer: White. Undershirts mostly. I would wear more purple, but there is a distinct lack of purple in my wardrobe, and not a lot of purple clothing in the stores I shop at (mostly Hot Topic) that fit/I would wear.

40.Think of a piece of jewelry you own. What’s it’s story? Does it have any meaning to you?

Answer: Ummmm admittedly, I have a lot of jewelry pieces. Mostly necklaces that I rarely wear. My favorite by far, is a pewter dragon with it’s body wrapped around a blue crystal. I bought it at the county fair a few years back, and it was the last one that was ever sold from that vendor, because I havent seen his stall in the past few years.

41. What is the last book you really, really remember loving?

Answer: Monster Hunter Memoirs: Grunge. It’s a new book in the Monster Hunter series by Larry Correia.

42. Do you have a favorite coffee shop?

Answer: No, I don’t like coffee ever since I made the mistake of drinking the swill on an empty stomach.

43. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Answer: My friend Neil, and that was years ago when we decided to head up to a local haunted area.

44.When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Answer: This morning in the shower :3

45. Do you trust your instincts a lot?

Answer: Yes. Going back to when Neil and I were up at the rock crusher, and I heard that voice in my ear. Something told me: “Neil is your brother, get his ass out of there!” I grabbed him, and ran for it.

46. Tell us of the worst pun you can think of.

Answer: Is this some sort of pun-ishment? Well I guess you can call me the Pun-isher (hate myself).

47. What food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Answer: …shit I had something for this, and now I can’t remember…

48. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today?

Answer: I was afraid of the dark as a kid (mostly due to my brother being an ass), and that fear carried through. I still have to sleep with a light on.

49. Do you like buying CDs and records? What was the last one you bought?

Answer: I haven’t bought a CD or a record since I had my first iPod. The last one I bought was Disturbed’s Indestructible album.

50. What is an odd thing you collect?

Answer: I answered this one before, but I’ll do it again. I collect and assemble Gundam models. I have 8 currently. And I have yet to finish/start the assembly on the last 3.

51. Think of a person, what song do you affiliate with them?

Answer: I think The Animal by Disturbed would suit Neil just fine.

52. What are your favorite memes of the year so far?

Answer: *skips*

53. Have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? Beetlejuice ect. What do you think of them?

Answer: Nope.

54. Who is the last person you saw with a genuine look of sadness on their face?

Answer: That would be my cousin who had to recently put her elderly golden retriever to sleep. Something like that is never easy, and I know how bad the pain of losing a pet you have had for years feels.

55. What is the most dramatic thing you have done to prove a point?

Answer: Ummm that’ll be the time when *skips*

56. What are some things you find endearing in people?

Answer: When I find something, I’ll let you know.

57. Go listen to bohemian rhapsody. did you reenact the lyrics?

Answer: Um whoever doesn’t needs to be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

58. Who is the wine mom, and who is the vodka aunt in your group of friends?

Answer: Me on both occasions.

59. What are some of your favorite myths?

Answer: Mostly the ones involving the 80′s horror movie villians.

60. Do you like poetry?

Answer: Meh.

61. What is the stupidest gift you have ever given/received?

Answer: I gave my mom trick candles to use on my brothers cake a few years ago … And they found their way on to MY cake. Does that count?

62. Do you drink juice in the morning?

Answer: Very rarely, and when I do it’s cranberry.

63. Are you fussy about your books and music? Do you keep them organized or leave them be?

Answer: I leave them be. It goes back to the question of how I like to keep my room.

64. What color is the sky where you are right now?

Answer: It’s steely grey. It’s in the transition of seasons. Winter to Spring.

65. Is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time that you’d love to hang out with?

Answer: Yeah, my friend Neil.

66. What would your ideal flower crown look like?

Answer: *skips*

67. How do gloomy days make you feel?

Answer: Yep skipping that one too. *skips*

68. What is winter like where you live?

Answer: Hoth

69. What are your favorite board games?

Answer: Risk … and I cannot think of any other ones of the top of my head.

70. Have you ever used a ouji board?

Answer: Fuck no! I am not stupid enough to do that! Especially after what happened after the rock crusher.

71. What is your favorite kind of tea?

Answer: I don’t drink tea.

72. Are you a person who needs to note down everything you need to do or else you’ll forget it?

Answer: Only when I am at work, and even then I rarely note things down.

73. What are some of your worst habits?

Answer: *skips*

74. Describe a good friend of yours without using their names or gendered pronouns.

Answer: Hmmmm… Long and lanky, unkempt and scraggly hair and beard. Quick wit, sharp tongue, but with a big heart.

75. Tell us about your pets!

Answer: I had two white Siberian Huskies. Tundra and her brother Topaz were born on the same day I was, and we had 18 great years together.

76. Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Answer: Nope.

77. Pink or yellow lemonade?

Answer: Why not both?

78. Are in the minion fanclub or hateclub?

Answer: I’m in the “I don’t give a fuck” club.

79. What is one of the cutest things anyone has ever done for you?

Answer: They wouldn’t want me telling that story.

80. What color are your bedroom walls? Did you chose that color? If so why?

Answer: They’re white, but if I could paint them, they’d be purple.

81. Describe on of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Answer: *skips*

82. Are/were you good in school?

Answer: I was decent. Not good, not bad, but decent.

83.what is some of your favorite album art?

Answer: I care more about the songs rather than the artwork.

84. Are you planning on getting any tattoos?

Answer: Yes, I’m planning on getting either the enochian sigil from Supernatural, or a full back tattoo of a set of angel wings with the words: “Angels on our shoulders” above them.

85. Do you read comics?

Answer: Not really

86. Do you like concept albums?

Answer: The hell are those?

87. What are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Answer: All the James Bond movies, Star Wars including the prequils, and the 3 original Indiana Jones movies.

88. Are there any artistic movements you enjoy?

Answer: The only one I can think of (and I’m not sure it even counts) is the Renaissance

89. Are you close with your parents?

Answer: Yes very close, although they drive me crazy at times I still love them.

90. Talk about one of your favorite cities.

Answer: *skips*

91. Where do you plan on traveling this year?

Answer: Well my group is planning on heading to Washington DC for Ota-con this year.

92. Are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese? Or do you barely sprinkle a pinch?

Answer: The cheese. Give me all the cheese!

93. What is the hairstyle you wear the most?

Answer: Short and very unkempt.

94. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Answer: My girlfriend. :3

95. What are your plans for this weekend?

Answer: The same thing I do every night. Try to take over the world.

96. Do you install your computer updates quickly? or do you take forever?

Answer: Yes. :3

97. Myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and Hoggwarts house.

Answer: What the hell is the first one? But I’m an Ares, and a Gryffindor.

98. When was the last time you went hiking? And did you enjoy it?

Answer: it was years ago, and no I hate nature.

99. List some songs that resonate with your soul every time you hear them.

Answer: I have 220+ songs on my iPod that attest to that very question.

100. If you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, and one that allows you to go 5 years into the future, which would you press and why?

Answer: I’d go into the future. Past is past and that’s where it belongs. Plus when I go back to when I pressed said button, I would have an advantage over everyone else *evil smile*

#theangstygrad25 #asks #ask promp #holy shit that took forever #and that is the last time I ever do a 1-100 answer prompt again

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