#anyway not tagging this with fandom tags cause fandoms tend to get annoyed when you do shit like that

[who-the-fuck-is-sennalye]

hang on— hang on— how has this just occurred to me— the guys who made Wednesday, they know Goody was a title, right? I read The Crucible and if there's one thing I got from that book it's that Goody was just what pagans called women. Like no your ancestor's name was in all likelihood not Goody Addams that's just what everyone called her cause everyone was called Goody Something.

[v-anrouge]

Verryyy long ranting under this about vil and how this fandom treats him for absolutely no reason pls excuse any mistakes and feel free to correct me with any accidental misinfo i passed <3

Mentions of racism, fatphobia, eating disorders, elitism & ableism and also SPOILERS for Vil's character story (eng only)

Ever since this game started getting super famous in tiktok and twitter it seems that people just love to butcher literally every character in Twst and sometimes it's genuinely baffling how wrong some of the takes are, it really does make me wonder if some people just don't read the story and just skip every character who isn't their fave, and if they really do that, what makes them think they know enough about the rest of the cast to post in the character's main tag the most rancid read on a character, often accompanied by some accusations of literal crimes of bigotry that really should be taken more seriously instead of being terms thrown around.

I'm gonna be talking about Vil specifically but characters like Leona, Jamil, Sebek and a few others have it exceptionally bad as well (especially Leo and Jamil who's haters can even be quite racist)

I've been playing for a very long time (in eng) i remember being there to watch the Heartslabyul final release and the release of Savanaclaw's chapter and through these years ive seen the most horrific takes on Vil's characters, ranging from the accusations of racism (which have been debunked again and again especially by JP players) to accusations of supporting eds, fatphobia, elitism and ableism. The funny thing is that even with a very quick read of any of Vil's story you'll find out there is no support for any of such claims. They like to use the incident with Epel's accent when for years JP players have pointed out how this was strictly an error of localization since they couldn't find a situation similar to the one that is portrayed in the original game to put in eng twst, they went with the one we have where Vil asks Epel to "hide his accent" (he really doesn't he was talking about the way Epel is rude and disrespectful which would definitely end with him being beat up and then expelled bringing a bad fame to Pomefiore and also making Vil look bad for not properly guiding his dorm students) which is a terrible choice but alas it seems people prefer to ignore facts to stick with their claim that Vil is some sort of monster when this man is literally a teen. He's 18 years old and has to constantly look out for his image in and out of school since he grew up in front of the cameras.

Vil's character is all about beauty and self care and self acceptance yet for some people this seems to translate to "starve yourself if you don't want to be a disgusting fat pig" which is very weird to say the least considering all mentions Vil makes about diets he is talking about keeping a balanced diet to nurture your body and even has a voice line pointing out the importance of eating. Vil himself may be coded to have an ED in his overblot and Lab vignette but he has never and would never encourage one, he literally goes out of his way to annoy students to take care of themselves what makes anyone think he'd encourage them anyways? It's such a weird thing to assume of a character.

A lot of people seem to think that Vil is also the "beauty standart" king which doesn't even make sense considering vil is a gnc man, he already doesn't follow beauty standards and would definitely be against it, Vil's vision of beauty for himself may be twisted due to his traumas and troubles yet his vision of beauty for others is always exclusively on the person being their best version, this includes dressing how they want to and feel comfortable in, using whatever makeup they want (or just not using it at all) etc.

The way Vil speaks is often misunderstood as he tends to be strict and can be read as mean (I've already shared my theory on what may have caused this behavior here before so i won't be getting into too many details) but Vil is a famous and respected housewarden because if you actually stop and think about his advice the end result is always an effort to make the person's desires come true. (a good example is how Vil made Epel clean the windows and although Epel was displeased with the hard labor in the end he notices how the task may help with muscle growth and gets happy)

Vil's way of caring for others is often misunderstood and obviously that's understandable, not everybody may get his "rougher" way of handling advice, but also it's a bit weird how people react to it when in game all of the characters seem to be okay with it, Pomefiore has a lot of students and if they considered Vil to be a bad leader he would've been voted out a long time ago, no? And if i remember correctly wasn't it said in game they had very few transfers? (as in characters moving out of Pomefiore and into other dorms) That wouldn't make sense if Vil was really the cruel leader some people make him out to be. The truth is Vil is a nice caring person and his students recognize that which is why he is respected all across the school and not simply on his dorm (because ive seen people say Vil has brainwashed the Pomefiore students into thinking he is a good housewarden 💀)

Vil surely has issues he needs to work through, after all this game is literally about that, dealing with troubled teenagers and their internal struggles and the importance of asking for help (omg friendship is magic...) but Vil is also a teenager, and he is one of the characters that show the most desire to get better, immediately showing regret and apologizing to Yuu and his classmates for the danger he put them in, that is because Vil genuinely does care for them.

Another accusation people make is ableism, i remember seeing many posts saying Vil wouldn't respect disabled people and/or mentally ill people which is 1- extremely fucking rude to say? 2- absolutely wrong. Again just a quick read on Vil's character will tell you everything you need to know about how he'd feel about disabled people, he'd treat them like everyone else, and would adjust his handling accordingly to their needs, i really don't get where this claim comes from but it's quite ironic because a lot of Vil haters tend to be ableist themselves by claiming that Vil is a bad person mentioning traits that are often caused by mental illness and the effect of traumas, failing to analyze how their treatment of a character that displays common mental illness symptoms may affect people in real life who displays the same symptoms, and often being ableist themselves by judging these actions irredeemable and inherently evil/heartless, once again dehumanizing people with mental illness in real life who deal with the same symptoms.

Another common thing is the constant invalidation of Vil's trauma. A lot of people seem to read book 5 with their eyes closed and take away from the story that the reason Vil "got pissy and almost killed a guy" (wording of a terrible post i saw a few days ago<333) is because he's a "spoiled brat who couldn't handle getting the paper he wanted in a movie boo hoo" which is kind of funny with how terribly wrong it is, i really don't know what your thought process has to be to get his backstory this wrong but sure, let's start; The start of Vil's problems with being cast as a villain starts from when he was very very young, he was just a child when after being cast as a villain for a movie he was almost beat up by a group of boys for being an "evil guy" and by his reaction it wouldn't be impossible that this wasn't his first time dealing with that kind of thing. Vil also tells jack (who scared away the group) that he had trained so he would be able to deal with them on his own which again, could be a hint that this wasn't that uncommon in his life. In Vil's overblot dialogue is all we really need to know to debunk this claim.

What Vil wanted wasn't just to be a hero in a movie, he wanted to be seen, to be heard and cherished, he wanted to be more than a pretty prop they could put on the front to get attention only to be taken out of stage when he was no longer necessary in the next scene, do you get it? He wanted to be able to see his hard work pay off, to see his efforts of years being rewarded, to for once not be exchangeable for someone more favorable. Vil wanted to feel like all his pain was worth it in the end because finally he could shine in the stage, being himself instead of just another persona to attract people. In his overblot it's shown clearer than ever that Vil does not have a stable view of his own image unlike what he has trained himself to show, even calling himself ugly and begging them to not look at him. I don't think Vil is used to be being vulnerable, which would explain why he was so freaked out when the overblot happened, and why he cried when his beauty (the one thing about himself that was always recognized by others and therefore the thing he'd always been the most desperate to nurture) was taken away by aging in book 6 (note; the fact Vil sacrificed it for his classmates also just debunks the people saying he only cares for himself, if he did he wouldn't be who he is.)

I said i wouldn't give my thoughts again but i will, just briefly, i believe an easy explanation to Vil's behavior (the tough love he gives and his strictness) might be because of the industries he grew up in, we can't know for sure how similar twst's version of the movie and modeling industry is when compared to the real life one but considering the way Vil is, my guess it's that it's pretty similar, especially in the regard of their treatment towards children, in Vil's overblot he hears two staff members talking about how he'd never be able to pull off a relatable role because he is too perfect, and sure those may not look like insults, but to Vil who's only dream his entire life was to be seen in good light, those words stuck to him so deeply they'd come back to him during his overblot. (note; i have not seen a jp translation of the overblot scenes so i don't know if they also suffered from localization issues, if anyone has a link to one i could see id really like to see what the staff said to Vil)

The general point of Vil's overblot was how his efforts and hard work were always overlooked and ignored in favor of someone else, this happens with quite a lot of characters and happens as well with another overblot (Leona, who happens to be quite similar to Vil in many ways) and although i don't expect anyone to read it and think of analysing it more deeply even with a shallow vision of his overblot it's still incredibly insensitive to call it a "non-problem" especially considering the fact this is Vil's ENTIRE life, he's been working hard and failing for years again and again and that does get to you. I remember when i posted my first rant on Vil quite a lot of people who reported to be skilled at something (say for example music or dancing) as a child that any failures absolutely destroyed you inside, and that people who haven't passed through the same tend to call them dramatic and say they're overreacting to situations that can be classified as trauma depending on how much it mentally impacted said child. (and in Vil's case it's clear it had a massive one, after all he wouldn't have overblotted if he didn't have issues that had been bottled up until they finally exploded)

Mentioning Leona again, he and Vil share the same sentiment of anguish for being discarded and having their hard work be thrown away, the difference in them is the way they reacted to it, while Leona ended up not seeing any value in attempting to do anything because he assumes the outcome is always going to be the same, Vil overworks himself and forces himself to do things he might hate clinging to the hope that this time it'll work out.

Since we're talking about trauma ill already answer some things that may or may not come with this post (because in my first one i got this response a lot) "Vil's a fictional character it doesn't matter" and sure if you think like that cool, personally, when im talking about a fictional character that tackles real life traumas and issues, i talk about it as if referring to a real person because the character has been written with one (or multiple) in mind.

Twst may have issues but the character writing is undeniably about real life traumas and experiences, and the characters are quite accurate and good representation of the issues they tackle, so when you invalidate them, you are by result invalidating real life issues. Of course this won't stop anyone and i know that a few people will probably scoff at this and brush it off as being too sensitive but personally if you wouldn't dare invalidate say for example Riddle's traumas because you know it's a representation of mommy issues, which is a very real problem, to not go against your own morals you should also respect the issues of all the other characters, even if you personally think some are more "serious" than the other.

[trust-ceremony]

Your tags on the Mei agency post are so true. Especially the shipping part, people really act like her and Red Son are just like. Hunt|ow with a different coat of paint, it completely erases Mei's whole entire character.

Anyways, say more

I love complaining thank you for giving me an opportunity

I've watched TOH but it isn't really my thing so I never really cared about Huntlow much but I think I get what you meant and honestly I think the characterization of Redson in the fandom erases a lot of Redson's actual character too

I feel like the fandom tends to erase his character and infantilize and that unfortunately happens to most traumatized/abused characters which. As someone who has gone through abuse is really gross imo. I don't really think about Redson that much so I don't have too many points for him but yeah mischaracterisation sucks

Onto Mei, who I have a lot of points about. I feel like the fandom reduces her personality down to “bubbly girlboss” when she’s really not. Honestly I think the only time that she actually is bubbly (that i can remember atm) is when she’s making fun of or mocking people (main example that comes to mind is her with redson in rotsq) her temper is kind of just removed from her character by most of the fandom even though it’s a reoccuring trait that she’s had since the pilot. I guess the reason could be that she was more angry than usual in s4 ep9 and since it was one of the main things in that episode people actually noticed it (because no one in the fandom actually notices Mei unless she has something major in an episode) but there was a reason she was so upset. I think anyone would be upset if their best friend had a breakdown in front of them and then flew away to where you wouldn’t be able to find them and then you were forced to wait around and do something that you perceive to be useless instead of stopping the person who caused all of this. I’ve seen some people call it out of character which is already bad but seeing it attributed to Redson just feels worse because she’s already only ever talked about in relation to other people. In general I feel like some people don’t really get the point of Mei’s character and only talk about her in relation to OTHER PEOPLE (even with how people talk about the samadhi fire thing for some reason??)

I think Redson and Mei work together so well because they’re so similar. With stuff like both of them feeling out of place in their families (small complaint again but the fandom generally doesn’t talk about Mei’s family issues either and imo they probably effect how she deals with emotions which is interesting), feeling like they will never live up to expectations, they both seem to have a few shared interests and their personalities bounce off eachother very well beause they have similarities but not too the point where they’re the exact same person. I think the whole samadhi fire training (while unfortunately mostly off screen) developed their characters and relationship with eachother so much. Their friendly banter (idk if that’s the word) actually seems friendly whereas before the training it was a bit antagonistic. Both of them having the samadhi fire at one point causing Redson to be able to help Mei in a way that no one else probably could have. Speaking of that I think it’s also really interesting that Redson doesn’t seem to want the fire back at all people also never talk about that.

I think this problem exists with every character in the show actually. Everyone gets put into small character archetypes just to fit into the view of shipping and other stuff to a degree where people just miss the entire point of a character. I think people should have fun with what they want but some people treat it as if it’s canon. The reason it annoys me so much with Mei in particular is partially because she’s my favorite character and partially because there’s literally no other content of her alone which is exclusive to the fandom actually I’m pretty sure she has the most centered episodes out of everyone in the main crew (aside from MK but he’s the mc so it makes sense)

Have a silly image of her

[glossolali]

God that same person who was bitching about the poly ship tags did the choose violence ask game and they said, in regards to Molly, "It's cool if you like him, just be aware he was shallow and manipulative and condescending" and like.

I get that it's annoying when people dumb down a character or erase their flaws, but that just comes across as kinda rude/passive-aggressive to me. Like "it's ok if you like this character just remember that they suck."

And I know there are fans that make Molly seem better than he was, but the people who don't like him tend to make him seem worse than he was too. I guess he's just one of those characters that people either love or hate, no in between.

Anyway it's 2023 no more Molly slander

(Sorry for ranting in your askbox lol)

they seem to be the type of person who enjoys attention even if it's for being a dick, and think that if they say opinions loudly, confidently, and sound like a pseudo intellectual that they're automatically right and can say anything to anyone, while in actuality they're just... rude and stupid. like literally unintelligent

unfortunately that kind of persona fools a lot of people to agreeing with their shit takes cause it sounds like they're being brave and honest like uwu my haterz are such bad people because they dared disagree with me hehe i'm such a spicy and controversial Fandom Figure LMAO

i can't 😂 😂

i honestly couldn't care less what their take is on molly or anything else

glad you got the rant out of your system nonny!

[derangedfujoshi]

For the ask game i'd honestly say all of them because i am curious but that's too much so.... 5 of them to your liking, for genshin impact! (o ) w (o )

You said it would've been too much but I'm nothing if a YAPPER and a little HATER! So here we GO! (The girlies aren't gonna like this one so I'm not tagging it lmao)

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

Oh god, like, half of them? I could go with Aether and how ppl decided he was "the dumb labrador" sibling of the two, or with the uwufication of Scaramouche, or how they turned Ei into a fucking idiot. Honestly wherever you turn there's mischaracterization, but personally I hate the uwufication of Scara the most annoying because it completely erases all of his character and growth, all of his nuances and it's the bane of my existence, ESPECIALLY the "mommy issues" part I hate it I hate it I hate it he calls her ""mother"" ONCE and it was as in "creator" HE DOES NOT THINK OF HER AS HIS MOTHER, SHE NEVER THOUGHT OF HIM AS A SON HE WAS A DEFECTIVE PROTOTYPE DIE DIE DIE DIE

So anyway I hate all Genshin mischaracterization the same amount!

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I don't go there (the fandom) so idk and I'm cool with that

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

WAY too many but the top two are Ei/Miko and Alhaitham/Kaveh. First one I just see them as very good friends, friendship exists and if we really want to be nitpicky Yae was closer to Makoto than Ei when she was alive sooo... My heavy dislike is a good 60% fandom-born tho, their shippers were simply VILE on twt, calling everyone who didn't like the ship "lesbophobes" even lesbians (me) so like, yeah no.

As for the second one I just ✨detest✨ the constantly bickering dynamic, it downright triggers me due to my ✨past toxic relationship✨ so I tend to avoid them in general. In this case I also find them... Like bland ass chicken, there's literally nothing going on there and if ANYTHING all the iterations I've seen have Kaveh as the butt of the joke. Bro don't even get me STARTED on how Kaveh got stripped of his entire personality to be "Alhaitham's hysterical wife", did you know that if you go into the Kaveh tag on Tumblr you'll mostly find ship posts? I have the tag blocked and the few times I tried to look up fanarts of Kaveh I had to scroll SO long in between posts. It's like he can't even fucking exist outside that goddamn ship and it PISSED ME OFF! Not to mention I heavily dislike the Genshin fandom tendencies to insta ship the New Mation Assigned Tall Male Models together as soon as they get leaked. Don't get me started on that or the enforced gender roles on this ship. Let's move on. Other popular ships I don't like are: Zhongli/Tartaglia (I was lied by the fandom, they barely interacted yall on some delulu shit), Cyno/Tighnari (yawing, also laughing at the antis shipping them that got uno reversed with the We Are Like Brothers), Chongyun/Xingqiu (boooooriiiing), Kazuha/Scaramouche (get out.).

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

I don't wanna rant, I really don't uughh so I'll try to sum it up. Scara doesn't have mummy issues, he wasn't even "alive" when she was working on him, yes he got tricked by Dottore but ultimately the choice of joining the Fatui was his "cause they look fun lolz", he showed NO OUNCE of regret for all the war crimes and yes he is soft to kids and critters and old folks and he is trying to not be evil but he is NOT lawful good nor will he ever be, he's chaotic neutral on a good day and on a Fatui killing spree on a bad one Genshin fandom learn about fully rounded characters challenge failed spectacularly.

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

Tartaglia. He's... He's not, he's Just A Dude like literally just an average bishie ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

Honestly in this fandom everyone gets lusted over so honestly idk mmhh.... Maybe the monsters? Like there's nearly not enough porn of the monsters besides Hilichurls whichare great, mind you, but there's SO much more out there like CMON!

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

*with my full chest* THE DORI HATE MUST END! IT MUST!! OK SHE LOVES MONEY AND CAPITALISM BLAH BLAH HAVE YOU CONSIDERED SHE GOT MONEY OBSESSED DUE TO HER SISTER BEING BEDRIDDEN BY ILLNESS CAUSE THEY GOT NO MONEY FOR MEDICINE OR DOCTORS AND THAT DORI DOES USE HER WEALTH FOR GOOD? THE ENTIRETY OF THE KSHAHREWAR DARSHAN (Kaveh's Academia Branch) IS KEPT ALIVE BY H E R MONEY! SHE'S ONE OF THE FIRST TO INVEST INTO THE DESERT'S REDEVELOPMENT! YES OK MONEY EEEEEVIL BUT SHE LEGIT USES THEM FOR GOOD SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

The Archons. Just the Archons. Definitely Zhongli, Venti and Ei. They're deities, of course they have blood on their hands, we KNOW they do.

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

That it's actually good; that its gacha system is the fairest of all; that they didn't HAVE to gift us anything because you simply need to play the goddamn game to be able to get shit; that meta is the devil whispering to you and sucking up all the fun and whimsy out of your gaming experience because it's making you turn a game with no in-built competitiveness into a fucking competitive game AND that if you hate it so much you should just drop it and go play something else OH wait, you won't because there is no other free to play game on the same level as Genshin and deep down you know it, you know it's at the same level of a TripleA game WITHOUT having to fork our 100 bucks and you're prissy about it.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

Despite my personal preferences I do firmly believe that all Genshin characters have merit and deserve to stay in the game it would be Childe of course axe the redheaded twink JUST KIDDING! It would be funny tho to watch his diehard fans combust like, remember when it was rumoured he was gonna DIE in Fontaine?? Shit was mad funny to watch as a non Tarta stan, but also I have some great friends who love him and I wouldn't do that to them so yeah, he can stay.... For now👀

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

I firstly read this as "popular" and gushed over Itto/Gorou but let's SCRATCH that let me TELL YOU ABOUT EI/SARA! *grabs you by the shoulders* The little tengu almost dying and being saved by her Archon? The UNDYING DEVOTION?? THE BLIND TRUST?? THE SERVITUDE??? THE FANGIRLING????? THE SHOGUN AND HER GENERAL THEY MAKE ME GO FERAAAAAAL THEY DON'T DESERVE TO BE SO UNPOPULAR GGRRRRRRRR

📖: If you had to remove one book from the series, which would you choose?

There's no book in Genshin and I wouldn't remove a single quest byeeee

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

I don't really know? Like, I personally have a bone to pick every time a femboy gets hc as transmasc because my god it rubs my own gender identity the wrong way but I overall act upon the "don't like don't read" so I just move on with my life, yall can do whatever hOWEVER if I can be nitpicky for a second here... Scaramouche can't be trans in the canon of the game. Yae tells us that he was built by Ei as a prototype for her Shogun doll so people took that and ran saying "oh well Ei is a woman so she must have made her dolls as hwr image" WRONG they were just dolls and he was an early stage too, he so wasn't given any gendered detail so NO he doesn't have boobs or a fucking vagina ha had NOTHING down there he was a fucking MANNEQUIN! Can his story be read as trans allegory, especially given the whole dying and beinf reborn and given a new name? Yes absolutely but is he, in canon, ftm? NO! Do whatever in your AUs but man it irks me when people just blindly disrespect canon, especially such a cool one like UGH

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

Shit I forgot about this one EDIT uuhh hopefully no one honestly 😭

Ask me an unpopular opinion

[something-about-sunflowers]

I'm gonna block the op before I post this cause I don't wanna start any drama but, that one person in the steddyhands/adjacent tags with their 'List of things I promised not to do in OFMD fic/What I look for/want when reading/writing OFMD fic' post. Don't. . . Do that. You can preface with 'you can write your fic how you want' all you like but if you add a caveat of 'be aware of "the trends"' it comes across as condescending, demanding, and judgemental. Leave alone that you are not the arbiter of all things allowed in fandom/fic. Nobody needs your permission to 'do as they will' so to speak.

Anyway I'm gonna go through and pick out their 'issues' that annoyed me the most and talk about why. Read-more cause I know I tend to forget to do that when I'm writing essays/meta/etc and, seeing as they did too and it was a beast of a post I don't want to be that annoying on yall's dash.

'Is it funny'

Not everything needs to fit to your standards and not everyone wants to write a comedy.

'The Act of Grace needs consequences'

The AoG did not necessitate becoming pirate hunters. I think this may come from some confusion around Benjamin Hornigold? (If its not that then I genuinely have no idea where this idea came from tbh?) All it necessitated was becoming a privateer, essentially a legal pirate, one who only attacks enemies of the Crown. Which, yes, can include pirates, but moreso meant, like, the Spanish (navy/merchants/etc, remember: they're at war).

Hornigold is a bit of a weird one in that he was already kind of doing that when he was a regular pirate? He, historically, avoided attacking English ships, and eventually turned pirate hunter later on.

Its completely reasonable to assume that, in a time when the Crown was coming down hard on piracy, there would be some who would sign the Act when caught and then renege as soon as. You could obviously only use this tactic once but its a good 'get out of jail "free"' card if you're in a bind. That doesn't reflect on Blackbeard (or Stede/Izzy), especially not when he's pretty immediately back on the seas and obviously not working for the Crown.

That isn't to say there won't be consequences in the form of the Crown being pissed at losing Blackbeard though, I've got my fingers crossed for a third Badminton after all, but in my opinion its doubtful there'll be any consequences from the greater pirating community.

'No co-dependency (. . .) written about positively'

Fan fic is not your therapist. We already understand that these characters are flawed and that their relationships are unhealthy, even at the best of times. People shouldn't need to write their characters like they're trying to get an A in therapy, nor should they have to add disclaimers in the text (or author's notes) that 'this is unhealthy and bad'. If you can't separate the idea of these fictional characters and their relationships from reality enough to understand that, because the author doesn't hold your hand to tell you 'this is not a good thing' then you shouldn't be engaging with the fic nor the source material, to be entirely honest.

'[Izzy] doesn't need to blush and "make out like teenagers" for every story'

The back button is free. Not everyone wants an emotional deep dive into the psyche of these characters, some people just want to watch these sad old men make out and be horny.

'The [Revenge] crew should be careful about being visibly queer when they're at port'

Not everyone wants to deal with the idea of systemic/societal homophobia in their fic. Fan fiction can be a way to explore these ideas in a safe and cathartic way but it doesn't have to be and some people are more comfortable by excluding the concept altogether. I live in the damn bible-belt, I worry about it enough in my real life, I shouldn't have to read it in fic if I don't want to and I shouldn't be made to write it for the sake of 'realism' either. Let people have their escapism if they so choose.

'Use protection and lube-'

Fan fic is not sex-ed. Nobody has to worry about sti/std/pregnancy if they don't want to. Plus, its not exactly super realistic for them to have either just immediately on hand? Obviously you don't have to deal with realism if you don't want to and if you prefer for your own sake they have access to them then by all means but, while they existed, condoms weren't exactly a common item in the 1700s. Mostly available to the middle and upper classes and very likely extremely difficult to find at sea. They're pirates. They're not exactly known for being 'safe' in any sense of the word. Look up why the real Blackbeard blockaded Charleston sometime. Syphilis isn't fun. But this is fic and Syphilis doesn't have to be an issue if you don't want it to be!

And while I'm fond of the 'convenient vial of oil' its not as if the lube-less/spit-as-lube buggery is going to actually hurt anyone. Like I said: fan fic is not sex-ed.

'-Make sure nobody can hear them'

Lucius was fully sucking Pete's dick in the galley with Wee John sleeping right there. Maybe the only members of the crew with an ounce of shame are Jim, Olu, and Izzy; at the same time though? Nobody is gonna care. Lucius may tease (Izzy at least, Jim might actually kill him) but that's literally the worst that could happen. Ships being not soundproof is kind of the reason why they can't ‘make sure nobody can hear them’ and why they might not bother beyond 'not being directly in front of them' and even then, as with Lucius and Pete (and Fang), they don't really care one way or the other.

'F/F [is] often (. . .) kissing and fucking'

Yeah. This is the Horny Pirate show. People are gonna be horny about the pirates, whether they're old men or old women. People are allowed to be just horny about it. If you want more plot driven F/F then that's a you problem and you can be the change you want to see in the world. And don't come to me with any 'oh its fetishistic' BS either, it doesn't fucking matter so long as they're not reducing real human beings to their sex lives, people can do whatever the fuck they want with fictional characters.

'Izzy needs to learn to be his own person if he wants to heal'

I agree with this point. I still find it annoying because nobody has to go over all of that. Nobody has to even let Izzy heal. Some people just like angst! Not everything has to be hurt/comfort or a happy ending!

'If Izzy falls for Stede or realizes his feelings for Ed, wait on the confession'

Some people just want to get to 'the good part'. Not everybody is looking to write a character study and sometimes you just want to get to the romance.

'They're big adult men, casually lifting/carrying each other is unrealistic'

Doesn't have to be realistic, but, they're also sailors. They're used to manual work/physical labor. Sure they're all older but your muscles don't just immediately atrophy just because you're old, not if you're using them. But again, it doesn't have to be realistic! Its fan fic! Of a fairly unrealistic show at that! Selective (or no) realism is perfectly fine!

'Calico Jack's addictions'

Alcoholism is a really heavy subject and nobody should have to touch on it if they don't want to. People should be able to write about Jack without worrying about navigating such a heavy topic if they so choose.

'tag your dubious consent (. . .) correctly'

This is the one point I will fully agree with and endorse. The fandom as a whole needs to get better at identifying (and differentiating, they're mutually exclusive terms and have different meanings) non-con/dub-con in general. Only caveat here is you specified 'regarding Calico Jack/Izzy Hands' when its not a ship specific issue but a fandom wide one.

There's probably points I disagreed with that I skipped over and hell, there's points that I do agree with that I skipped over, but ultimately my issue is this: Unless there is actual harm being done, this type of post is unnecessary. There is not and should not be one 'correct' way to write fic. I understand that you gave a caveat of 'you don't have to do it this way' but if you're going to outline all the things you think people are doing 'wrong' then go on to say 'but that's just my opinion' it doesn't change the fact that its a shitty thing to do unasked regardless. 'Most of these don't immediately make a story bad' is incredibly rude to say.

There is nothing inherently wrong with 'fandom wide habits' if they're not actually causing harm. People infantilizing Ed (and the rest of the BIPOC cast/characters, if we're being entirely honest) is a fandom wide habit that can actually cause harm. People moralizing over Izzy is a fandom wide habit that causes harm. People not properly tagging their fic can cause harm. People writing fan fic that isn't to your exact tastes, regardless of how much of it there is, is not causing harm.

Nobody needs or wants someone playacting at being CinemaSins calling them out for using 'overused' tropes. If you're doing it for yourself that's fine but keep it to yourself and don't try and hold the entire rest of the fandom to your standards. Its fucking rude.

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

[studiobeebo]

~♡ Winter Warmth ♡~

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

Warnings: None

Words: 2.1K

Genre: warm and soft like mash potato. 

A/N: has this trope of sharing winter clothes been done a million times? yes. will that stop me? no.

as per usual, reblogs are the best way to get my works around since tags tend to be unreliable so they’re greatly appreciated! enjoy!

“You didn’t bring a scarf. Or a hat. Or anything.”

Your current ‘mission’ partner’s characteristically irritated tone broke you out of your current daze as you shifted your eyes towards him as the two of you walked side by side, close enough that it was clear the two of you were at least friends, but not so close that things were...weird.

“Oh, no..” You hummed, a puff of steam escaping with your words and just as soon evaporating into the cold winter air. “To be honest I didn’t think it would be this cold. Oh- but it’s not that bad, no worries.”

He looked at you for a second before shrugging and facing forward once again, the previous silence between the two of you settling back in as your eyes drifted back to your right where rows and rows of shop windows twinkled with Christmas lights and other inviting decorations. 

See, the so called ‘mission’ the two of you had been sent on wasn’t really a mission at all, it was more like an errand to satisfy everyone back at school’s ‘urgent’ need for a variety of coffees, hot chocolate’s, and tea lattes, which didn’t sound like much, however your oh so gracious sensei insisted you go to this very specific cafe that was about a half an hour walk away instead of the one that was barely a ten minute walk away. Fushiguro seemed particularly annoyed with that, but then again, when wasn’t he annoyed by one thing or another.

The only thing was that you assumed he was bothered because Gojō had made yet another needlessly difficult request of him, however while he was annoyed with Gojō , that wasn’t exactly the reason why. The reason he was particularly peeved was because his teacher said the two of you just haaad to go together. “It’s safer that way.” , he said “Treat it like a mission!”, he said.

Bullshit. 

Gojō was testing him on something even he didn’t want to think about, let alone admit to. Fushiguro told him one thing, ONE THING about you, just an off handed comment on how much you had improved using your cursed technique in such a short amount of time, and that’s all it took for Gojō to give him that fucking look. At least, Fushiguro thought it was only one thing, but the more Gojō started making little comments about the two of them, about how he thinks they’d be sooo cute together, he realized that maybe he had been unconsciously talking about you more than he thought. That was true too, but he wasn’t one for much talk and the little that he did say wasn’t enough to tip Gojō or anyone else off about his apparent interest in you. As it turns out, the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ is true, and that’s especially so for someone as observant as Gojō is.

He saw all the little things that most people probably didn’t have a second thought about, but he had known Megumi for a long time now so to him, his actions were clear as day. The little touches on your shoulder to gently move you out of the way, the way he would tend to gravitate towards you whenever all of you first years were on missions together, how distracted he’d be if you had a bit of a hard time fighting off a curse. Gojō could go on and on about the tiny ways Megumi treated you better, with more care, than anyone else, but he chose not to pester him too aggressively. He knew if he did that, Megumi would shut him down just as aggressively and dig deeper into the denial about his feelings for you. So instead, Gojō pushed him in little ways, like teaming you two together for training practices and in this case, sending you out together to get drinks.

Megumi knew that of course, that Gojō was messing with him, but man was it hard to say no when your face lit up and you exclaimed that you could actually go for a hot chocolate. So now here you were, walking side by side in silence that was currently doing nothing but make him overthink. Should he say something? Would that be weird? Or were you off put by the fact that he wasn’t saying anything? All the while he had that usual grumpy look on his face that was really just one of concentration, but you didn’t take it to heart regardless. You had known him long enough now to know that even when he did look upset, he kind of just had a resting grumpy face and it didn’t necessarily mean anything. Still, you would admit that you were feeling a bit awkward.

You liked Fushiguro, maybe a tad bit more than what you admitted to your other friends, but while the two of you were friendly and worked just fine together, you had never really spent time alone with one another outside of school, and as you walked through the slightly crowded sidewalks you realized you didn’t really know how he felt about you. Sure you were associates and classmates, but did he see you in that way? Did he only tolerate you? Or maybe he was just indifferent, not thinking of you as much more or much less than someone he worked along side. Even though you didn’t have any answers to said questions, you couldn’t say you were nervous to be out with him. In fact it was kind of nice, even if you weren’t talking much, and you were okay with settling and just internally gushing about it to yourself. So you kept to yourself with a slight smile on your face, stopping for a second here or there when something in one of the shop windows caught your eye or to press your cold hands to your mouth and blow warm air onto them.

You had said you were fine, but the temperature seemed to keep dropping, and when you felt a small damp prickle of iciness on your nose you realized why. That one snowflake slowly turned to many as snow began to fall steadily from the sky, catching on your hair and jacket but melting as soon as it came in contact with your cheeks. 

“Pfft, no wonder it’s gotten so cold. I seriously thought we weren’t going to get any snow until later on in the season, right?” You asked, turning to him with a laugh as you rubbed your arms as if that would do much to help through your coat. 

“Guess not.”, he said with another shrug. “Doesn’t look like it’ll stick though, we should be fine.”

He peered out of the corner of his eye at you, watching as you shoved your hands into your pockets and gave him a nod before looking up as you walked to watch the snow fall in a childlike awe. Something ticked in him, another one of those little irritating itches that he would get whenever you would do something like that. Something so simple, yet he couldn’t bring himself to look away. That, and the irrational part of him that was currently screaming at him to do something stupid, an internal voice that was getting louder and louder with every fall of a snowflake and shiver of your shoulders until finally he just had to give in.

He let out an annoyed huff, not at you but at the fact that he felt so stupid and absurdly flustered as he unwrapped his scarf and took his gloves off, temporarily shoving them into one pocket as he stopped to lean over and wrap his scarf snuggly around your neck instead. You jumped a little in surprise as you tore your eyes from the sky and gave him a quizzical look, but before you could say anything a pair of gloves that were a little too big for you were shoved into your hands as well. 

“Oh, thank you but I’m really-“

“It’s fine.” He cut you off, but not in a mean way. You noticed the hint of pink on his cheeks, but surely that was due to the cold, right? He sighed again in an attempt to make himself feel a little less tense as he continued on in a more relaxed tone. “Seriously, I was getting too warm anyways.”

Now you really couldn’t help but smile as you gave him a small nod before slipping on both gloves. They were too big just like you thought, but warm, and the fuzziness bristling in your stomach seemed to help warm you up as well. You absent mindedly tugged his scarf a little closer around you as the the two of you began to walk again, and your own cheeks began to heat up a bit as you inhaled his scent. Though you couldn’t really pinpoint what it was, it was like a little not-so-gentle reminder that he really did just give you his scarf and gloves to wear. You tried not to let it get to you, he was just being nice and he said he was too warm anyways, but you still had to bite your inner cheek to keep yourself from smiling too wildly and risk him thinking you’re a total creep. 

“Thanks Megumi, I appreciate it.” 

Oh god no.

He thought he had steeled himself but that caused him to stop in his tracks, only for a moment or two, before his body went into self preservation mode and moved on its own, but the way his heart skipped a beat in response to something as dumb as you calling him by his first name for the first time was everything but calm and collected. Still, as much as he tried to keep even an ounce of what he was really feeling from showing on his features, it only took that little halt in his step for you to realize what you just said.

“Oh, shit- I’m sorry. That’s probably kind of weird for me to call you.”

“It’s fine.” He repeated the same words he had said only a few minutes ago, only this time he didn’t sound nearly as confident. Whatever was going on in his chest was not, in fact, fine, but what was he supposed to say? ‘You treating me like I’m a close friend seriously fucks with my doubts of having a thing for you’? For heaven’s sake he could take out a literal murderous demon in the blink of an eye but god forbid he try to keep his normally cool composure in front of who he now had to admit was his crush.

“If it really isn’t fine you don’t have to act like it is.” You laughed out awkwardly, still having trouble trying to read his features. 

He hated seeing that bit of doubt and worry in your eyes, enough so that he shoved what he was feeling down even if it was just long enough for him to give some reassurance that you referring to him so casually was actually more than just ‘fine’.

“I’m not ‘acting’. If it really bothered me I would say something about it. Trust me, I’ve gotten good at telling people off...” He grumbled, his mood slightly souring at the mere thought of what Gojō would do if he could see him now, with color tinting his cheeks and his brain scrambling for the right words to say which, judging by the short laugh you gave that was simply music to his ears, he had successfully done.

“True, true. Guess I’ll just have to stay on your good side then, yeah? Dunno if I could take it if you were actually mad at me.”

He scoffed and muttered in response as he trudged ahead of you.

“As if you would ever be on my bad side…”

“Hm?”

“I said ‘can we hurry up before it gets worse outside’. If we take much longer Gojō is going to start blowing up my phone.” 

You laughed and then smiled in a way that you could only imagine looked incredibly goofy as you stared at his back while he continued walking ahead of you, maybe just a tiny bit giddy that he was ok with you being a little more personal and less formal with him. Surely that meant the two of you were friends, right? Or maybe he could think of you as something more some day…

“Are you coming with?”

“Yeah, yeah!” You exclaimed, shaking your head and leaving those thoughts for another time in order to allow yourself to enjoy this moment as it was, warmed in the face of the winter chill by a cozy set of winter clothes and a fuzzy feeling in your heart.

[chaos-monkeyy]

Can I respond to you little fandom rant?

In all honesty I used to be one of *those* assholes. I used to look down on short fics, see them and be all like, "blah did they even put effort into this?? It's so shot that's barely a thing why bother." But you know what happened, I fell off my fucking high horse because I actually started reading shorter fics! And like how he hell do people cram so much passion, emotion, story, hotness, into so few words! That in and of its self is a talent! Its like fucking poetry man!

Fandom can be great but it's also sadly a hellhole at times and that is just fucking sad because we are a God damn community and should act like it! Why is the mentality of respect peoples works, write what you like, don't read what you don't like so freaking hard to wrap your head around?

Just be happy and grateful for the content you enjoy and ignor the stuff you don't enjoy. Simple as that. So any way as a reformed asshole that used to look down on drabble/ficlet writers, I would like to apologize for all the idiotic tomfuckery.

Ps. Your works are great, and please never fell guilty for not reading something. Fics shouldn't cause stress and anxiety they are for fun and relaxation. Assuming your friends are good people I'm sure they would agree!

Yeah I find it easy to tell other people I never expect them to read my fic, but a whole lot harder not to feel guilty for not reading All of the Things myself 😂🙈

Anyway I'm too tired to get my thoughts in very good order today (I probably should know better than to reblog while angry, but I can't say I really regret it either 😅)... but that's the thing, innit. I don't care if people don't want to read short fics, or long fics, they're allowed to have preferences! And like everything else, nobody needs to justify those preferences to anyone.

It's when I start seeing those personal preferences touted as Better Than or Worse Than that I get upset. I don't think I've met a single fic writer who doesn't get anxious about whether their fic is good enough on every possible front, and fic length is no exception. I've seen people who write longer works go "ugh I just wish I could write something short for once, how do they do it??", and I've seen people who write shorter things go "Idk if I should even post this, it's not long enough and I'll just clog the tag".

In about a single week's span of time, I saw one writer friend get an anon ask from someone who was apparently annoyed at how much time they "wasted" reading part of their incredibly epic beast of a longfic; and then I see another writer friend get an anon telling them they shouldn't write so much short fic cause longer stuff is better. Short and long works are different things. Neither one is inherently better or reflects more talent than the other, they use different skills. And the great thing about fandom is that there is a place for all of it, and there is stuff out there for all different preferences.

But fic writers already tend to be, on the whole, little bundles of constant anxiety about our writing. Seeing flippantly dismissive or downright mean comments about the type of writing we do is enough to bring anyone down, particular on an already-bad day / week / month / year.

So anyway... idk if any of that made sense, but thank you for the response 💙 And I'm glad you found that you do like short fics as well!

[clairecrive]

“All the time in the world”- Bob Saginowski x reader

I’m honestly so happy with the response of the Bronson piece! I love you guys so much <3 so here’s a little Bob fluff that never hurts. Also, this is my first time writing him so if he sounds a little bit off that’s why. 

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog​, @br0ck-eddie​, @of-love-and-of-the-sea​, @evelynshelby​, @deaflikehawkeye​, @shadow-of-wonder​, @fandom--0verdose​, @sopxhiea​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @fuseburner​ (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

You did it. You finally had sex with him. You had only been going out for a while, a couple of weeks, maybe a month. However, you had known Bob for way longer. You were a regular at his bar, either with your groups of friends or by yourself. That would be the case in which you had met Bob, well you actually had talked to him. When you were tipsy, you tended to marvel about the stupidest things out loud. Bob thought you were amusing and decided to humour you. That had led to a really long talk and long walk home since you were drunk and he refused to let you go home alone. Then one night when you were there on your own, he told you that his shift had ended early and asked if you wanted to grab a bite with him.

From that moment you began unofficially dating. You would see each other every other day and not only at the bar where he worked. Then after the third date, before you could climb off his pick up, he kissed you sealing the deal. Seems like you were dating then. 

You would be lying if you said that you didn’t like him. Well, of course you did, otherwise, you wouldn’t be dating him. However, your feelings were shifting from “like” to something more. And that bothered you to no end. You didn’t get attached to boys. Especially those who you had been seeing for less than a month. Nothing good ever comes from that. You were a pro at hiding your feelings. Been doing it for so long that you felt now unable to suppress these feelings any longer. 

That was going to be a problem.

 It was way too soon to feel like you did and even sooner to let him know. But you couldn’t go on this way anymore. Seemed like the sex only brought it up and made it impossible for you to ignore. You were laying down next to him, Bob had dozed off and your mind had gone wild. Suddenly, it was all becoming too much for you and you felt like you needed to leave. Without giving it a second thought, you began to pick up your clothes and got dressed quickly. 

When you were about to leave his room, something made you stop and look at him. Sprawled over the sheets half-naked, his face restful and peaceful, he looked so innocent. Bob had always been good to you and this was how you were going to repay him? By acting like one of those assholes in those rom coms that you hated? You couldn’t leave like this and you knew it. You owed him at least to tell him something. So, before leaving, you looked for a pen and a piece of paper and left him a note. 

“I need to sort myself out and think things through. Last night was amazing though. Don’t take this personally because you have done nothing wrong.”

Those were the words that met Bob when he opened his eyes. Waking up to an empty and cold bed wasn’t what he was expecting and your words left him even more dumbfounded. Despite what you said, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had done something wrong. Furrowing his eyebrows, he quickly went through your time spent together. He was totally clueless though because he genuinely thought that everything was going great between you. Apparently, he had been blind because they were not. He wondered if he needed to give you some space but thought against it. The only way to solve this was by talking things through. Even if it meant breaking up. So he got dressed quickly and headed over your house. After climbing the stairs of your patio, he was about to ring the bell when your voice met his ears. It came from the back of the house. Walking towards it, he stopped just before he came into view when he overheard something interesting.

“So you left him in bed, after your first time together, because you’re afraid?” Your friend's Nadia incredulous voice met his ears.

“I know, I know, I’m a terrible person.” You groaned but your voice came out muffled and peeking from his hideout, he saw that you hid it in your palms.

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand, what are you afraid of?”

“Haven’t you heard a word I said?” Now it was you who was incredulous. It seemed like you two had been talking for a while.

“I did but it’s all bullshit it you ask me.” Nadia sassed earning a glare from you.

“I can’t tell him how I feel Nadia, I’ll scare him away.” you sighed sounding defeated.

“Well, I think you’ve already accomplished that by running away after sex,” she pointed out and when she received your you’re not helping look, she continued, “you should talk to him y/n, really. It’ll solve everything.”

“I know, I know that communication is the key to every healthy relationship but I… I just can’t.” Shaking your head you let it hang from the backrest of the swing you were sitting on.

“Talking to him means that I need to explain why I left and that would lead to my feelings for him, which he can’t know about yet,” you continued sighing, eyes looking up to the sky.

“You had no problem talking about it with me,” Nadia pointed out scrolling her shoulders.

“Are you dumb? That’s different,” you retorted snapping your head in her direction, “if I tell him that I think I love him, he’ll run away!” exclaiming, your expression resembled one of those teachers after they had repeated the same thing for the hundredth time and their students still weren’t grasping it. “It’s been three weeks Nadia, it’s way too soon for the “L” word,” defeated your head went back on the backrest. “Besides, who’s to say that he’s even looking for a serious relationship? He’s really busy with work, he has a lot on his plate right now.” You didn’t believe that. Bob could hear it in your tone and so could Nadia. Both knew you very well.

“Bob doesn’t strike me as someone who’s seeking a one night stand or something temporary.” And in fact, he wasn't. Everyone who knew him was aware of that. It was as plain as day even for Nadia that didn’t know Bob that well.

“Maybe I should just put both of us out of our misery and break up with him,” was your totally unrelated consideration. 

“Are you out of your mind? God, what does your mind tell you? You’re in love with the guy and you want to break up with him?” Bob shook his head at your total illogical thought process while Nadia looked completely confused by you. She was having none of it, what the hell.

“This is not what I signed for when we started dating, Nadia. This got way too serious way too fast,” looking at her you defended yourself. “Look at me! I’m here worrying about a guy when I promised myself I never was going to again.”

“Bob’s not the problem here. For all we know, he could be in love with you too and be heartbroken that you run away-” Nadia wasn’t able to finish her sentence.

“Please,” you scoffed, “have you met me? Why would he love me? And stop saying that I’ve run away, I’ve left him a note,” huffing out annoyed at your friend, both of them knew that they were getting closer to the true motive of your actions.

“-what I think it’s the problem here is you and your inability to let yourself go and feel your emotions instead of repressing them,” now it was her time to interrupt you.

“I hate that you know me so well,” you whisper under your breath, “I just- I don’t want to put myself in that vulnerable position again where he can hurt me.” And here it is, thought Bob. This was the problem then.

“Everyone’s bound to get hurt once in a while y/n, that’s life. And you ought to live it to the fullest and not repress every feeling and avoid any deep connection. You’re missing out on a lot, plus, it’s not healthy,” Nadia observed with wisdom that Bob would have never associated with her. But she had a point.

“If you think that it’s too soon to confess your feelings for him then don’t. Show him instead,” she added when you didn’t say anything.

“I’ve been doing that for the past week. Smothering him with kisses and affection, romantic dinners and shit that I’ve always despised in movies. I went over his bar often and stuff. He probably thinks I’m clingy now and he’s fed up with me,” you confessed listing with the help of your fingers.

“Sounds to me you just stopped being distant and started being a loving girlfriend,” Nadia commented with a patronizing smile. “Oh, and he probably already knows too. He’s very attentive and he knows you so…” Scrolling her shoulders she stated what she thought was pretty obvious while she observed your face scrunch up in desperation.

“It’s only been three weeks goddammit, why am I feeling this way?”

“Time is relative y/n. Stop worrying about it too much. Couples have married after two weeks of dating.” Nadia pointed out thinking to help her case but she got the opposite reaction from you.

“That’s madness,” you spat with wide eyes. 

The two girls continued talking but Bob had heard enough. As Nadia said, he had noticed the change in behavior and despite what you thought, he had thoroughly enjoyed it. But he had also been wondering what had caused it. Now he knew. Deciding to pick up Nadia’s advice, he turned around and headed back home. He knew how to solve this. He was just going to show you.

At home, Bob prepared a nice dinner. Nothing too complicated but he knew you liked it. He wasn’t good with words and apparently neither were you when it came to your feelings. So he needed to find another way. And he thought that paying attention to the details in a way that showed how much he cared, was the right one.

Show, don’t tell.

That was what he was going to do. Since the very first time you two had eaten together, you had always been very passionate about food. Bob was a much better bartender than he was a cook, hence his occupation, but he tried anyway to deliver a delicious meal. Your favourite nonetheless. From what he’d gathered, it was best for him to take matters into his own hands. Otherwise, if he had to wait for you, he’d probably wait a long time. So he sent you a text, mentioning the homemade diner he asked if you would join him. As he predicted, you’d said yes. You’d never turn down an invitation where food was involved. That alone showed how much Bod knew you. Surely, he wouldn’t pay so much attention to someone he didn’t care about, right? He thought your reservations were fair. He understood where you were coming from. On the other hand, he thought it was very clear his stand on relationships, yours in particular. Apparently not. He was to rectify that soon though.

When dinner time came around, you parked in front of Bob’s house right on time. He had probably heard you pull up because when you walked to his door you saw that it was open and Rocco was waiting for you on the threshold.

“Hello, you handsome boy,” you cooed at his cute little face giving him some well-deserved belly rubs until you noticed that he was holding something in his mouth. Gently pulling it out of his mouth, you saw that it was a folded piece of paper. 

It said:

“Please don’t run away like that again. If you don’t talk to me then how is this going to work?”

As you let the words sink in, your eyes flickered to Rocco who was now looking at you with his head tilted to the side. The pang of guilt was impossible to avoid and you knew that this dinner wasn’t going to be like any other. 

Closing the door behind you, you made your way through the hallway that leads to the kitchen expecting to find Bob dealing with your food. And there he was.

The table was already set, two sweet-scented candles were lit and he had just set your plates down when you walked into the room. You lingered near the door for a bit, not knowing what mood he was going to be in. You had left after having sex with him after all.  Still drying his hands with a cloth, he turned to where you were standing and as if he felt your insecurity, Bob gave you a small smile. 

Feeling a little more confident in yourself you crossed the room to meet him before you’d sit down at the table. 

“Hi,” you started shyly.

“Hi, babe,” two words and he managed to make you swoon. Oh, how you loved this man.

“I’m so so sorry for this morning, I-” he didn’t let you continue and you were secretly grateful for it ‘cause you would have probably made a mess.

“I know,” he reassured you holding you gently by the waist.

“You know?” How could he possibly know?

“I get that you have reservations when it comes to relationships, I do too,” he shared putting a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You do?” If you weren’t so damn confused by what was going on, you were sure you’d have punched yourself for being so stupid.

“Of course. I have been alone for a long time. Being in a relationship after a while can be difficult.” Gently cradling your face in his hands, he added, “But I want you to know that you can always talk to me.”

“I’m scared that what I’m going to say to you will make you run away from me. And I kinda like you so I don’t want that to happen,” you confessed quietly. He was so close to you now that you could whisper and he would hear. Somehow it made it easier to talk.

“I won’t,” he promised and you believed him. Why? Good question, it’s just one of those things that you just know. 

“I just-,” how were you going to tell him? “my feelings for you scare me,” by just saying it, you figured.

“You don’t have to tell me anything right now. Just know that we can turn that fear into assurance. I and Rocco are always up for some cuddles, aren’t we buddy?” And as if on cue, Rocco barked agreeing with his favourite human. You couldn’t help but giggle in happiness, you were really a lucky gal.

“Now let’s go eat. The food is getting cold.” And with that both your minds were at ease, ready to enjoy the night together. Yes, there were some things that needed to be discussed still but you had all the time in the world for that. It seemed that neither you not Bob had any intention to leave.

[lilac-sweet-giggles]

Shoulder to Lean on (BNHA Todoroki and Deku)

A/N: OMG tysm for your patience! Took me so long to have the steam for writing again, I was in a long block for a bit TwT

Hope you like it!!

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Description: Todo needs a bit of cheering up from some news he got on the phone, so Deku to the rescue!

Word Count: (1090)

It was a Sunday night, Midoriya was just finished with his training when he saw a familiar friend walking to the elevator of the dorms. It was Todoroki, who seemed to be steamed out. Wanting to make sure he was alright, he goes to the elevator as well to catch up with the candy cane-ed friend. Getting to the floor destination, he goes over to Todoroki’s dorm and gives it a gentle knock, “Todoroki-kun….?” he could hear some rumbles in the room and hear the door unlock, giving him the green light to go in.

The green bean walks in and sees Todoroki getting his bed ready, seems like he was done for the night, “Hey Midoriya.” the taller student exhausted and somewhat annoyed in his tone of voice. After setting his bed up, Midoriya immediately sits on the bed to stop the others' process of tending to night time.

“You know dinners being made at the moment right, don't you wanna eat first?” He asked the other student, to which Todoroki shrugs and sits next to him. He placed his phone away from him and on the side of the bed, “Not really feeling hungry, but you can go eat if you wanna.” Deku tilted his head like a confused puppy, the only time Shoto would be like this if it was a long day of school work or him talking to the “E” word that was his dad. He goes and crawls behind the other as he hugs him from behind, the friend leaning back into him and sighing in frustration.

“You don't need to tell me now, but you seem to be in a bit of a pit of a bad mood.” Deku’s arms were around Todoroki’s torso as they were under his arms, Shoto’s hands feeling Deku’s arms to reassure him he's alright. Deku didn’t wanna push his friend to talk, seeing that Todo responds in affection and not words. Affection….

That’s when plan B finally came into consideration, his fingers curled into todo’s sides to which he flinched, “We’ve known each other for a while so if you dont wanna talk now, I can at least lighten the mood.” As on command, Todo’s ears became a shade of pink and a snort slipped. He attempts to shimmy and slide away from Midoriya, but it only resulted in him laying on his back and his head now being in his friend’s lap.

“M-Midoriyahahaha-” His legs go and weakly kick out as fingers spider along his sides and neck, causing himself to scrunch up, Midoriya smiling at the calm yet joyous giggles.

“Aw, glad you're letting me try plan B!” For a guy that seems all serious, who knew he would end up liking this comforting affection. Due to his vague childhood memories, Shoto has never really experienced or remember ever being tickled, but thanks to Midoriya’s kindness and closeness he could now know the missing experience of all he was enduring right now.

“Cuhuhuhut it out, hahahaha!!” the sneaky fingers tried to crawl delicately and teasingly from his scrunched up neck to his now reddened ears, to which he shakes his head and rocks back and forth in Midoriya’s lap.

“What's the fun in that? It's more fun to relax by laughing and smiling anyway!” Shoto could see that smile look down at his giggling figure,causing himself to squeak and cover his face with his hands.

“Coochie coochie coo! Who's a sweet, ticklish Hero?” he got the lee in the situation to laugh some more, teasing wasn't really Deku’s strong suit but Todo didn't really mind the attempts he made. The icyhot student was still new to all of this so he got a pass. His fingers strike for Todo’s underarms next as he seems to be off guard with the teasing attempts he made.

“Hahahahahahaha!! Yohohohou are!”

“Pfff, subtract me from the equation, you're supposed to say ‘me’!” though his arms clamped down to his own sides, midoriya was able to get his fingers into the crevices of his underarms

From this they discovered that he's quite sensitive mostly on the upper half of himself along with, ironically, his left side being the most sensitive. His neck, sides, underarms, back and ears are some spots that would be striked at first, but they weren't his most sensitive.

“Shooo-chaaan, Imma getcha~” right on cue, Deku takes the flustered bean’s left hand and quickly blows a raspberry into the palm of his hand and that's when he went absolutely bonkers, thrashing as he forgets to cover his smiling mouth. He gave a few more raspberries and a gentle kiss on the center where the raspberries would be blown on afterwards, hiccup giggles being the only thing Shoto could conjure up and gentle whines.

“Hehehe…..ok ok, i wanna talk…..” with that midoriya stops the rough tickles and just traces his fingers in small gentle circles along his cheek to keep him in a giggly mood”

“My father is coming to class tomorrow for a small lecture…” Ah shit, no wonder Shoto looked annoyed when he saw him walking in

“Ah, I’m sorry, it's just for one class though right?” Todo shrugs, nodding his head

“Yeah, still, it's on a Monday too so…” Midoriya chuckles a little and gives a peck on the forehead

“Well at least it's a one class thing, we can stick with you throughout the day to comfort you even go to the rooftops to eat lunch like Uraraka suggested. What do you think, Tickle-roki?” He asked as he boops both sides of his belly with his index fingers, causing todo to laugh some more and leading to a relaxed smile

“That wouldn't be a bad idea, sure.”

“Alrighty then it's a group lunch date!” Midoriya cheers as he hugs the figure that sat up finally, Todoroki chuckling and returning the hug

“Hey Midoriya?” The green bean looks up to see the rare soft smile he had, softly blushing as he returned the kiss to Midoriya on the forehead,“Thanks for cheering me up, I needed that.” The freckled green bean smiles brightly as he gave a reassuring squeeze, “Once in a while we need a shoulder to lean on” Deku got to his feet, extending his arm for the other student to grab, “Now come on, before we miss dinner-” to which Shoto held onto and got up from his spot on his floor mat bed, leaving his phone behind to go and be with the friends he enjoyed in his presence.

Tagged:

@im-kinda-stupidd

[feliciohno]

I'm back but not without a quick psa

Okay ik I do like these little psa bullshits all the time and I am sorry and ik only like maybe 5 people care I'm just the kinda person who feels the need to over explain constantly even though ik I don't have to. Anyways, this is hopefully gonna be a quick thing and done but I just need to talk a little bit about my coming back and some changes to the blog so lets go.

So, I'll be honest, I'm not fully ready to come back. Just being frank but the only reason I'm coming back after about a month is because I wanted to take part in a Chaggie month during may and this is the blog I use for that kinda stuff. But I didn't want to reopen the blog and then just post about Hazbin cause honestly I'd feel bad. I know I say time and time again that this blog isn't JUST Hetalia but I'm not dumb, I know what you guys followed the blog for. And it's not that I blame anyone because where the content isn't only Hetalia it tends to be mostly Hetalia.

If it wasn't for the Chaggie month I probably would have stayed away longer ngl. Don't get me wrong, I do feel much better than I did when I first left. I just still don't feel great. Without getting too much into it, my brain doesn't really do great things sometimes. Whenever something bad happens to me it often will latch those emotions to things in the moment. Sometimes it's stuff like food or a song but a lot of times it's shows and characters and ships. It sucks cause it very often tends to hit special interests the most. There really isn't a special interest I have that I can enjoy without issue except maybe bats. And ik this is typically a trauma response but like? My brain recently has started to do it outside of trauma? Like I'm pretty sure I haven't gone through any trauma recently?? So idk man it's dumb and hates me. Anyways, there's still some characters and ships and stuff for Hetalia that I really can't look at without panicking lmao. But honestly it's okay. I'm kinda use to this kinda stuff by now?

Basically my hiatus was so I could step away from people and just like the show by myself. I blocked tags, I only interacted with the show and drew stuff for it when I felt like I wanted to or could. I only talked about the show with an extremely small select group of friends and even that was on rare occasion. There's a word for what I was trying to do but I can't remember it rn it's like re-something therapy. But whatever so yeah. And honestly? It was working really well. It's still working really well. I feel better than I did before. But like? It's still not great. There's gonna be stuff that still messes me up. This isn't the kinda thing that goes away over night and I knew that going into my hiatus. But! You guys stuck with me (from what I can tell) and I genuinely thank you all for that! So like yeah I am coming back to the blog including Hetalia posting. I'm probably gonna keep the tags blocked though and only look at like certain mutual content and stuff. Just stuff that I know for sure isn't gonna idk set me off (I desperately don't wanna call any of this stuff triggers cause then that's admitting how much they actually emotionally affect me and I'm not even gonna go there lmao).

That's basically it in regards of my hiatus BUT now I gotta talk about some changes to this blog. Nothing huge just two minor things.

The first thing is this blog is now my Problematic Media blog AND my blog to put Gore/N S F W content on. The main reason for this is I got accepted to be an artist on a blog called @/ponydoodles (if you like mlp related content go give it a follow :> ). One of the rules though of being an artist is the main blog you use and that is associated with your mod title can not have any extreme gore or N S F W content on it. Which like, I don't blame them for making that a rule. The mlp fandom has a lot of bad rep cause of older and probably even still modern fans. I have my own opinions on that kinda stuff but that's neither here nor there. So yeah! Any content of mine that is too suggestive or gory will be posted here no matter the source. Please make sure to block any tags of stuff you don't wanna see. And just a quick note, I will not be tagging N S F W content as such because those posts get blocked and it's FUCKING annoying. Instead I will be using the tag NSFT (not safe for tumblr) which from what I've seen is what most people are using these days. As for gore I always do my best to make sure everything is properly tagged with more intense or triggering content.

The last small change to this blog is this- I will no longer be posting about non blog related content on here. Lemme explain a little. I'm sure a lot of you noticed that I tend to make little posts here and there about myself, my life, cartoons just anything on my mind. The problem with this is I ended up almost killing my main blog @hext00ns because I was never fucking using it. And because I never used it for so long I don't get much interaction from people on that blog but I did start to get it here. From there it was a loop. I'd post more on here, causing less attention on my main, causing people to interact more with my side, causing me to want to post more on my side and less on my main. And honestly? It actually made me kinda depressed? In a weird way? It's kinda dumb but Hextoons is like my brand. Being the weird cartoon freak that knows way too much about animation and anything involving it has always and will always be my main and in some cases only personality trait lmao. It's also where I post my original content which is really important to me. So, here's what's gonna happen. I'm only gonna be posting about content that pertains to the sources and content that I use this blog for. Any other content or blogging or whatever will go on my main @hext00ns So like if you liked that kinda stuff or if you like other cartoons, anime, and video game stuff, just god please go follow that account. Genuinely. I promise that blog is full of the same F- bullshit quality all my content tends to be.

And one last thing cause I feel like some people are gonna be curious, yes you can still talk to me about Hetalia and send asks and shit. I still love asks and interactions more than life itself and that hasn't changed. It really is what motivates me to do shit. Comments, tags on reblogs, asks, this kinda stuff puts a fire under my ass to continue and create content that, I assume, you guys like. I'm always open to that kinda stuff on either blog. And where yeah, Hetalia kinda makin' me sad still just a bit, I am better. And honestly? I have the physical ability to just? Not check my notifs for a day or so if I need a short breather or I'm not feeling up to it? Like tech is so amazing how you can exit out of apps and windows like wow guys it's so crazy (/s/j).

So yeah, your fruity little Italian is back from superhell what's up bitches

[pressedinthepages]

Mysa

Swedish. verb. to engage in an activity that is comfortable and pleasurable, especially at home; being content and cozy.

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Jaskier x Reader

Word Count: 2337

Rating: E

Masterlist

a/n: Reader Request: “Hey! Could you please write a oneshot, where the female reader is a talented healer but even after years she hasn't found a proper solution for her menstrual cramps and she get's so annoyed and desperate that she agrees to Jaskiers (who is a friend of her) suggestion to have sex with him (because he heard somewhere that that helps some people)? Where first she tries to just see it under a scientific issue but soon things get really hot and at the end fluffy? :3″ (this has also been posted to AO3 but I don’t wanna link to an outside site cause of the whole thing with the tags…we’ll see what happens)

Tags:  @whitewolfandthefox @havenoffandoms @MishaFaye @criminaly-supernatural   (There is a link on my page where you can be added to my taglist :D)

Warnings: smut, period sex, cramping, no graphic descriptions of blood.

You have reached the end of your rope, frustrated beyond belief, but Jaskier extends an offer to help you.

    A fresh blanket of snow has settled over the town of Oxenfurt. A lit fireplace warms your little home in the residential wings of campus. You work as an instructor, teaching courses in alchemy and healing. You’ve even written several books on the topics, so you’d think that people would trust your opinion when you say that there is nothing that you can do.

    “Are you sure that you’ve tried everything???” Jaskier’s voice rings through the air, walking towards where you are settled on the couch in front of the fire. You roll your eyes as he hands over a warm mug of chamomile tea, careful not to disturb the little pouch of raw beans placed low on your stomach. You’ve been in pain for two days now, your bleed has always been a source of horrible discomfort for you. You’ve been able to manage during those days, and have tried concocting countless mixtures to attempt to quell the pain. So far, however, nothing has proven effective. 

    You have also told Jaskier this several times already. You know he’s just trying to help, but it’s getting to be a bit much. He showed up at your door right at the beginning of winter, bashfully telling you that he was in search of a place to stay for the season. You happily welcomed him into your home, grateful to have an old friend keep you company for a while.

    Now, Jaskier sits on the couch by your feet, the picture of relaxation. You’ve always held a bit of a candle for him, but you have long accepted that he only sees you as a friend. You adore his friendship, but in moments like this, you can’t help but wonder what could’ve been. 

    You watch the light from the fire dance across his features, licking tendrils of warmth down his neck and across his chest where a dusting of dark hair peeks from the open buttons of his chemise. The sleeves have been rolled up to his elbows, and his shoes have been kicked away in a corner. Even Jaskier’s hair seems relaxed, the chestnut locks gently disheveled as they fall over his forehead.  

    “You know,” he startles you out of your dream as you feel a cramp low in your stomach, as if someone had stuck their hand in your abdomen, grabbed a hold of your insides, and decided to give them a good squeeze, just for the fun of it. Jaskier notices the grimace of pain on your face and continues, his voice low and soothing, “There was a woman I once knew, lovely lady really, she had a similar problem and I actually ended up being able to help her!”

    He looks over at you with a smile, boyish dimples in his cheeks, and his eyes shining like a clear sky on a summer day. You crook an eyebrow at him, skeptical to say the least. When you were at university together, Jaskier had never excelled at the sciences, his talents being more focused on the languages and arts. You were both miserable at maths, and would always end up sulking together after exams with a large bottle of wine.

    “And how, pray tell, did you help?” you inquire, nudging the side of his leg with your foot. He looks over at you then, his bright blue eyes meeting yours as a blush climbs up his chest and settles on his cheeks.

    “Ah-well, she had told me, uh, that she had, in the past, uh...had others, well other men-”

    “Come on, Jask, spit it out already, I’m sure it’s nothing I haven’t heard before,” you cut off his stammering with a stern eye, sipping your tea as you wait.

    Jaskier clears his throat, looking back at the fire as he murmurs, “She said that having sex, and reaching a climax, would help with the pain…”

    Your eyebrows shoot to your hairline, the tea scalding your throat as you quickly swallow. “Well,” you cough, “I actually hadn’t heard that one before.”

    You both sit in silence for a moment, your mind racing. What was he implying? Are there any books on this? Who was this other woman, and why do you care?

    “Did it work?” you whisper, barely audible over the crackle of the fire. Jaskier huffs out a smile, still refusing to meet your eyes. 

    “Yeah, she said that it had helped immensely...besides, even if it hadn’t, she would’ve still enjoyed herself anyways.” Jaskier looks over at you now with a wink, his eyes glinting with mirth and hubris. 

    You gasp, mockingly astounded as you sit up, setting the mug of tea on the floor before you do. “Hmmm, the theory is intriguing...are you offering?”

    Jaskier’s eyes widen, a small tremor in his voice as he speaks, “I would be happy to help you, if you wish.”

    You bite your lip, mulling over your options. It’s not a difficult decision on your part, the voice in the back of your head screaming triumphantly as you hold out a slightly shaking hand to him. Jaskier looks down at your hand and back to you, seemingly making a decision in his head before placing his own hand in yours. He rises to a stand, pulling you with him as you leave the now cooled bag of beans on the couch. 

“Shall we go to the bed, dear?” He whispers, gently pulling you back towards it. His hand is soft in yours, his fingers calloused from years of honing his craft. You both come to a stop at the edge of the bed, hesitating to take the next step. 

“Are you sure about this Julian?” you ask, his true name slipping out from your lips. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this…”

Jaskier takes his free hand and brushes a stray piece of hair from your face. “Darling, I promise you that I only ever do things that please me, and this? This would please me more than anything.”

His words send a shiver down your spine as you feel a low ache in your core. Not a cramp, something deeper, sweeter, harder to ignore. He pulls you close, leaning his head down to yours as he closes his eyes. You close yours as well, meeting his lips as you rest your hand on his shoulder.

Jaskier’s lips are soft, a warm back and forth as you sink into his chest. He is a rock, steady against your rising sea. You can hear the blood rushing in your ears as you move your hand to thread in his hair, gripping his hand tighter with your other. 

“Wait, wait,” you say, suddenly breaking away from the kiss. Jaskier has always worn his heart on his sleeve, but he looks truly open and vulnerable when you look at him. You move your hands up, feeling his heart pound against his chest under your fingers. His chemise is soft from years of wear, and he smells lightly of the rosemary soap that you keep by the tub.

“We should take these off,” you say as you tug at Jaskier’s shirt. He chuckles as he pulls back from you, lifting the chemise over his head. He then takes your hand and spins you around, his fingers working at the laces of your dress at the nape of your neck. You feel the fabric gradually loosen around your shoulders as he pushes it down, placing a hot trail of kisses over the newly exposed skin.

The dress puddles on the floor as Jaskier’s hands rove over your body, his chin resting on your shoulder as he admires your body. His touch leaves embers in its wake, up and down your hips and around your breasts as he kneads the tender flesh. He makes a small noise in your ear, something light but lined with wanting.

You turn back to him, your own hands traveling through the coarse hair on his chest. You feel him suck in a breath as they travel lower, swiftly undoing the laces on his trousers before he steps back and shucks them off. You take the opportunity to step out of your own underthings, along with the soiled rag that you use to protect your clothes,  throwing them unceremoniously across the room. 

You feel Jaskier’s eyes burn a trail over your form as he approaches you, placing his hands on your hips as he leans to whisper in your ear, “Lay down on the bed, love, let me take care of you.”

You do, resting on your elbows as you watch him settle over you. You can’t help but appreciate the art that has presented itself in front of you, shamelessly studying the planes of his body. Jaskier has always been lean, but seeing him bare like this exposes the strength that his clothes typically conceal. His shoulders are broad, arms lined with muscles built from years of traveling the continent with his lute in hand. His legs are much the same, long and sturdy as they straddle your own. 

Now, you’ve never really been one for the arts. You tend to stumble over rhymes and prose, but by gods, just looking at Jaskier’s cock makes you want to write volumes of poetry. Jutting out from his hips in a hard line, with just the most delicious curve upwards, you can’t help when your hand moves to wrap around him. 

He chokes a strangled gasp as your fingers circle his length, his hands tightening on your hips. You stroke him slowly, feeling the heavy throbbing as he starts to rut into your grip. You remove your hand and reach up, Jaskier whining as you bring him to lay atop of you. His weight encompasses you, secure but not suffocating as you feel him try to discreetly rock his hips where his cock now presses against your thigh. 

“Jaskier,” you murmur, threading your fingers through his hair as you look into his eyes. They shine in the moonlight from the window, this corner of the room far enough away from the fireplace that the waves of fire only barely touch his figure. His eyes feel like they are staring into your soul, peeling back the layers that years of silent yearning have built up. 

“Shh, love, I’ve got you,” he kisses you deeply, moaning into your mouth as you shift your legs to wrap around his hips. You feel the tip of his cock tease your entrance, sparks flying under your skin with the slightest touch. He moves slowly, pressing into your core and stretching you as your back arches off the bed. This feels so much more than the other times you’ve been intimate, the typically dull ache now a roaring fire that burns with pleasure as he stills once he is fully inside of you. 

You rake your nails down the length of his body, reaching to grab handfuls of his ass where he is sheathed in you. Jaskier gasps into your mouth, a dark growl that sends vibrations through your veins. You begin to rock your hips against him, insatiable in the face of such strong pleasure. You can feel your climax already building, quickly becoming an approaching tide that you can’t outrun.

“Ah, wait, wait love, or this will be over far too quickly, I won’t be able to last long like this,” Jaskier’s voice is husky as his lips brush against yours with every word. His hips start to thrust into yours despite his words, snapping quickly as he builds your pleasure even quicker.

“Good, I-I’ll not last long either, please, Jaskier,” you murmur against him, trying to pull him impossibly closer as he spears deep within you. You can feel him groan into your lips as his resolve snaps, animalistic as his thrusts turn sloppy. He presses against a spot deep in your core with each movement, causing you to cry out with every touch. His lips move to suck a mark into your neck as you fall over the precipice of pleasure, your vision whiting out as sparks fly behind our eyes. 

Everything is so much more intense like this, everything is so much more sensitive and he is over you and in you and mindlessly rutting into you and you cry out into the void as your climax overtakes you. You instinctively curl up around Jaskier, but he holds you open with his body as his thrusts speed up and he suddenly stills inside of you. He bites down hard on your neck and moans your name as he finds his release, hot and thick as your walls flutter around him, coaxing every last bit of his pleasure from him. 

You stay like this for what could be minutes or days, neither of you wanting to move from the aftermath of bliss. Although, now that you are able to think about it-

“You know what?” you say, pulling his gaze back to you. His eyes are a bit hazy, still coming down from the mind-shattering that orgasm brings, though he seems intent on listening to your words. “I think it worked.”

Jaskier smiles and it is like the sun is shining into the little room in the middle of winter, warming you through in his embrace. He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips as he pulls out of you, your body shuddering at the sudden emptiness. Jaskier reaches around him and sets your legs down onto the bed as he moves to rise, only stopping when you reach out a hand to him to stay.

“I just thought of something else that may be quite nice,” he purrs, his eyes glinting with something so distinctly Jaskier that it takes your breath away. When you hum in question, still not moving, he threads his fingers through yours and pulls you to sit up.

He leans down, his mouth right next to your ear as he whispers, low and dark, “how about a bath?”

[eclecticwordblender]

Since @askhindumyths had us constrain our inputs, here’s my take on the Mahabharata High school AU. Sorry I’m too late to the party.

No character is related to another unless stated otherwise.

This post is gonna be a series. If you go through all of it, I love you already xoxo.

First things first: I welcome you to the world of Hastin High, the finest school in the country.

Foundation:

Shantanu:

The founding father. He made the school what it is today.

After he divorced his first wife, Ganga, he had a new found flame in his eyes. Ganga took full custody of their son, Bheeshma.

Shantanu gets all geared up, he wants to be a business tycoon while also equally wanting to shape lives too.

The school becomes the best of it’s kind soon, education and ECAs accessible to all.

Satyavati:

The first headmistress.

Timeless beauty and an unmatched charmed.

Students crushing on her since day one.

Is the young-ish English teacher that can steal your heart with her sparkling smile.

The principal is her fan too.

Introduces new rules for the better but they somehow get messed up.

Senior year students always search for excuses to go talk to her and spend time with her, oblivious to her love affair with their principal.

Obviously so many hearts broke when their marriage was announced.

History:

Years down the lane both Shantanu and Satyavati decide to retire.

Satyavati demands her kid be the next owner.

Shantanu who wanted Bheeshma to take over eventually has to give in. Bheeshma says he’ll be the principal, let his step brother be the owner.

The owner dies of lung cancer real soon, a chainsmoker. AND BHEESHMA TAKES OVER.

Present day staff:

Bheeshma:

He’s old, like REALLY old.

The year he was born in is taught about in History.

Why does the bygone generation’s boomer have to be the principal!?

Everyone is so sick of his reluctance to embrace change.

Can be very biased and annoying, is intelligent, an absolute genius tbh, yet doesn’t seem to use his own braincells.

“WHY AM I BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!?”

Vidur:

The school counsellor.

He’s too wise for this place. Face palming, ALWAYS.

Perpetually sick of everything.

Will opt out if he smells danger.

Very approachable but also extremely diplomatic.

Is your friend, but is he, really?

“Everyone is so stupid!”

Dhritrashtra:

“I’m the owner of this place bow down y’all.”

Won’t listen to a single good advice.

Again, EXTREMELY BIASED, absolutely antagonist views as compared to Bheeshma.

Is so impossibly problematic and stubborn makes you wanna kick him out.

Nepotism level- OMG.

Extremely biased towards his son.

A rumour says that he once cancelled school for a week only because his son was sick during basketball matches. His son isn’t even that good tbh.

Kunti:

Teaches Geography.

Looks so cute you could fall in love with just the sight of her huge gorgeous eyes.

Seems to be a sweetheart, can be a total b*tch though.

Claims to be absolutely impartial but tends overly favour this one kid in class.

Is also EXTREMELY possessive and protective of him.

It is rumoured that she had quite a beef with a girl student once because she had a fiasco with her very dear student.

Some say that the school’s PTI never misses a chance to flirt with her.

“Who wants the opportunity to carry my stuff to my staff room table today xoxo?”

Gandhari:

Can’t seem to control the class.

Is too sweet. To a point where it’s faulty.

Doesn’t teach very well, however, gives the best moral lectures in the staff room.

Has suspiciously beautiful hair, TO EVERYONE’S ENVY.

Always ends up sending the wrong kids for the right causes to the principal’s office.

Shakuni:

The best maths teacher there could ever be.

Unbelievably high IQ.

Shares Vidur’s diplomatic skills, but better.

Extremely partial, doesn’t even try to hide it.

Can control kids nobody else in school can.

Has very amazing manipulation skills.

Has a v weird enimity with this one kid, Krishna. Everyone in school loves a Shakuni-Krishna verbal face off.

Enters class on the first day: “We are already way behind with the syllabus.”

Still manages to finish the course before anyone else!?

Dronacharya:

Soccer coach.

Nepotism skills, second only to Dhritrashtra’s.

Discriminates amongst his team A LOT.

Thinks too high of himself.

Has a MAJOR feud with the basketball coach.

“This kid has potential to do better than my fav, imma try to sabotage this guy’s entire career.”

Drupad:

Basketball coach.

Very arrogant lesser than Drona anyway.

Doesn’t like people.

Has a weird obsession with his basketball and whistle.

Extremely progressive mindset.

“I don’t like people. But I can tolerate you. Can’t think of a better compliment to give.”

Balram:

Is the youngest teacher in school. Joined recently.

Teenage heartthrob.

Tries to act all strict but is a total softie.

Already done with kids.

“Okay!! Which one of you bratty kids pulled this prank on me today!?”

Secretly enjoys being pranked by his students.

Is looked up to as an elder brother figure.

Kripacharya:

There isn’t much to say about him, THE MAN LITERALLY MINDS HIS OWN BUSINESS.

Won’t say a word until asked to.

Pandu:

Is only relevant because Bheeshma likes him.

We don’t even know why he’s there in school.

Obviously he takes his classes. That’s all he does in limelight though.

Dodges classes even more than the students who frequently bunk. Can be found in school’s garden. Aimlessly enjoying nature.

“I don’t feel like teaching today.”

Madri:

For validation purposes is the gossip queen (not in a bad way though).

Otherwise, Is just there.

Vyasa:

Doesn’t like limelight.

But honestly, does a lot of important work around the campus.

Is responsible for the school magazine. Marvellous writer, NO CAP.

No one knows him well enough. Yet he is the most respected person here.

Pashuram:

Cricket coach.

OG sportsman in the campus.

Even older than Bheeshma.

The man has been there since Shantanu!?!?

Practically built the school with Shantanu.

However, is absolutely irritated by how the institution functions now.

“I’ve had enough. Can I retire PLEASE!?”

Can’t get himself to quit his job though.

Shiva:

Just comes and goes.

Guest teacher.

Has a great influence over most people.

Literally just comes and goes.

Ambika:

Physics teacher.

Not very interested in the staff room gossip or gossip in general.

Cannot live without her bestf.

Ambalika:

Chemistry teacher

Ambika’s bestf.

Introvert. But can talk for HOURS to her her bestie.

Does the bare minimum.

Amba:

Hates stereotypes attached to teachers or students or anyone at all.

Too much rage in her.

Rumoured to have a thing for Bheeshma- the “Thing” remains ambiguously unknown.

Is a true feminist. For this reason, two of the students- Panchaali and Satyabhama, admire her way too much.

Sees herself in this student- Sikhandi/Sikhandini.

“If you wait for a man’s help, you will keep waiting forever” - how she begins EVERY class.

(Imma tag people in the fandom coz no one’s gonna read so much otherwise and I need attention to matter in life :/)

@bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @soniaoutloud @lemponkoira @1nsaankahanhai-bkr @chaanv @hoeticulture @supermeh-krishnafan

Since I’m being an attention wh*re: @incorrectmahabharatquotes

[redxblueihateloveyou]

THANK YOU for saying all of that about the sk8 fandom. I think it's mainly because it's a young fandom with a lot of young people, but yeah, they have zero chill. It gets kinda annoying when you actually stop and think about the show and realize that a lot of things are just,,, not the way they think they are/should be

Also, I have compared some Reki and Langa scenes to rinharu scenes, but it's mostly because I see them and think "nice reference Utsumi" because they remind me of them so much, but to say RL are in the same level as them, or any other couple they've compared then to is kind of a stretch. Reki and Langa are, at best, a very very tame version of any of those, and while is see why they would focus a lot more on the puppy love thing they have it really pales in comparison (although they don't really compare it to free! because they're so hellbent in calling it queerbait as though half of the scenes they claim are so romantic did not also happen in there before, because they really don't understand how romantic coding works in anime).

Anyway, your blog is amazing :)) You always come off as a very smart person who is also just so done with people's stupidity and I'm 100% here for that haha

Haha no problem, needed to get it out of my system anyways. It’s true, but also once again being young shouldn’t always mean you’re that stupid, let’s be real here. And if you are that stupid, they need to know about it at least, so next time they’ll maybe think twice before saying stuff they say.

Their main problem these days is their herd feeling, it’s like one says smth stupid, others, having no brain of their own, repeat it and here’s what we have at the end. A whole field of a damn cicadas meaninglessly shrilling. 

It would be much more entertaining if they’d have enough brains to at least not put sticks in their own wheels, but they sadly don’t, so taking them down isn’t even satisfying. Not to mention the fact that you don’t even have to do anything, sooner or later they’ll embarrass themselves, cause the combination like “a sense of self-importance we have, but real life experience and brains we don’t have” leads to a disaster. Tiktok won’t help you with everything and half of them don’t even know what they’re talking about in most cases, they only love throwing loud words trying to scare easily impressionable ppl these days, cause everyone is like “I don’t wanna be cancelled so I won’t say anything” lol.

They just do not get that when you start smth like this, same as with a good lies, you gotta be smart. Like ok, they don’t distinguish real life from fiction, fine, but they can’t even check the age of the characters of their other ships before yelling “pedo” about others, so idk what to say here really. I just truly feel bad sometimes about even saying smth, bc like maybe just let them be, imagine the embarrassment of being this stupid? Who even puts them in charge of other ppl’s money idk. 

Yeah, I understand I compared the scenes, too, it’s inevitable, cause they’re all there haha. I was like “our” and thats also “ours” lmao. What I do not get is why would you compare them as if they have the same relationship depth (like high schoolers who have known each other for a month and a couple who knew each other for 7+ years and who planned their future together) or say that the reasonings behind the character’s behavior are same, when they’re entirely and I mean ENTIRELY different. It’s like not even anywhere near same. Like the comparartion of their break up with 13 year old Rin just hit me too hard, I was like.. let’s just not, not pls haha I’ll write a damn essay, but pls it hurts my soul seeing this. And comparing their fist bumb (ai, excuuuse me, eternity sign) to victuuri exchanging rings, I was just on the floor seriously. I just can’t handle the fandom of this pairing, it’s too weird for me. Logic left the chat on their tag and holy shit they’re blind to everything. I’m even glad I’m not into this pairing, cause I feel kinda sad for normal ppl who are into it, bc its like entering a kindergarden. Llike an absolute zero connection to reality, reading too much into things and all the chastity belts in one place, I was like... oh damn I’m too old for this shit and even if I was invested I’d probably still run away haha.

I’m really happy that you enjoy the blog! Thank you so much <3 Haha I have zero tolerance for stupidity, true. It’s such a bad quality tho, I sometimes suffer a lot just by seeing smth and be like “I can’t, I just have to say smth, I just have to, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep, it’s that stupid” lmao.

And sometimes part of me goes like “you know it’s pointless, it’s like talking to a tree”, but other part of me is like “no, it talks, and it means I can shut them up” lol. But I truly don’t get why ppl listen to this and indulge them seriously. Like I know stupid ppl prevail in this world in general, but like in fandoms they’re pretty easy to dethrone, if you bring up the right arguments. And I know in rare occasions, when you really cut them deep, they tend to attack in large groups like locusts, but it’s not like they can eat me through a computer screen, so idk. If I’ll get invested in that one ship after s12 I just might poke them a bit more out of spite lmao.

But also they are kids really, I mean, you can scroll through the tag and know for sure that like “yeah, that’s kid’s perspective”. Most of them didn’t even reach the age of the characters they’re watching things about, but like to pretend that they know stuff and most these days don’t have enough additional knowlenge to be smarter than their age, cause they are too busy well, tweeting about the stuff they know nothing about, so it’s kinda not really enjoyable to talk to them since I’d rather discuss it with someone who at least was in high school already and you know, not extra lol. 

I’m just kinda upset that it turns out to be a kids fandom, that’s all. Cause like chats and dms and sisters are great, but like I want the tag to look hella different, seriously. Bc I’m interested in characters and relationships complexity, not pink vomit. Well, you know the enjoyment of a great fandom. It’s a bliss. I have those thankfully haha.

[vulcan-highblood]

Group Project

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: G 

Pairing: Gen

Summary:  Iruka didn't realize that a baby (6-year-old) joining his class was the herald to the end of his pranking days in the Academy. But when their teacher assigns Itachi and Iruka a group project, it becomes clear that Iruka's going to have to learn how to cooperate with the little smarty-pants Uchiha. The only problem is, he's not sure Itachi's willing to cooperate with him.

Read it on AO3

Group Project Sharingan-Stealer Iruka - Part 1

There was a new kid in class, Iruka noted absently as he eased his hand under his desk, pressing a small wad of what looked like chewing gum there, fighting to keep a straight face. At the front of the classroom, Aki-sensei was scribbling on the blackboard and babbling about this… Iruka paused, doing a double take. They were getting a baby in their class!

Okay, not a literal baby, but he might as well be! He was barely half the size of everyone else in the room, with big dark eyes, soft black hair, and chubby baby cheeks. Iruka fought not to laugh - what was this kid doing in their class? They were going to graduate in a few months, why on earth would they be moving this kid into their class now?

“I hope you will all be welcoming to Itachi. We have high hopes for him - for all of you -” here Aki-sensei paused to glare at Iruka, “to pass your upcoming assessment and graduate to Genin-rank.”

Iruka didn’t bother to hide his scowl at that. He’d been held back during the last assessment because of his poor written marks. And his poor practical scores. Also probably because he’d skipped the first half of the test to try and drop water balloons on the ANBU standing outside Hokage Tower. The real trap had actually been trying to corral them into tripping a wire that would send a ink-filled balloon at them from a completely different direction, but, like all the other times he’d tried to pull one over on the ANBU, it hadn’t succeeded.

He had been scolded pretty soundly by two of them, and then frog-marched back to the Academy, only to realize that Aki-sensei hadn’t reminded them about the test the day before, so he hadn’t known to show up on time. Or maybe she had reminded them, and Iruka had slept through it? Anyway, he’d missed most of the graduation exam, and Aki-sensei wasn’t about to let him forget it. Other than harassing him about tests, though, she had precious little to say to him that wasn’t critical and honestly just obnoxious, and Iruka got enough of that at the orphanage, so was it any wonder that he tended to tune her out?

“Hey Iruka,” Mizuki whispered, “check out the new kid. He’s an Uchiha.”

Iruka rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I noticed.” It was hard to miss the fan shape on the kid’s shirt, after all. Did Mizuki really think he was that dumb? He may not be great in school, but he knew the clan crests! At least, the important ones. Mostly. Anyway, Uchiha was an easy crest to recognize because it looked like a fan.

“No, idiot, I mean,” Mizuki shot back with an irritated grimace, “He’s an Uchiha. I heard they’re the ones responsible for… you know.”

“I don’t know,” Iruka replied, frowning. “Responsible for what? They’re the military police, I’m sure they have a lot of responsibilities.”

Mizuki glanced back and forth like he was going to tell Iruka a secret, and then whispered very loudly, “They’re the ones who caused the Kyuubi attack.”

Whispers rippled across the room as eyes turned to land on the new baby in their class. They didn’t have any Uchiha kids in their year, or hadn’t, but Iruka had seen a couple of Uchihas around the academy in some of the lower classes. They didn’t seem like the sort of people to be letting nine-tailed demon foxes loose in the village, but what did Iruka know? The Uchihas mostly stuck to their own compound, except when they were in school, and Iruka couldn’t recall ever meeting one outside of school. He scowled down at the kid. If his family was responsible for that night… Iruka swallowed hard. It had been two years since that night, but sometimes his throat still burned like he’d never stopped screaming.

Slowly, he forced his eyes away from the tiny kid in the front row. What his family had done wasn’t his business, anyway. As long as he didn’t bother Iruka, he didn’t have a problem with the little kid.

Itachi Uchiha was starting to get on Iruka’s nerves. It wasn’t like the kid was

trying

to annoy him necessarily. At least, that didn’t seem to be his intent. But his very existence felt like a splinter stuck under Iruka’s skin that he couldn’t seem to dislodge, setting him on edge. And then,

then

he’d started to actively get a rise out of Iruka. It wasn’t just the way that this

tiny baby child

had waltzed into their classroom and

immediately

risen to the top of the class in test scores, or even the way he managed to

always

master everything in their practical skills work. It wasn’t even the way he was

always

raising his hand in class to answer questions, or

worse,

ask

questions, which would lead Aki-sensei on a tangent when Iruka just wanted to

go outside

and not sit at a desk and listen to a boring teacher blather on about boring rules. No, the thing that made Iruka genuinely irritated was the fact that Itachi kept

ratting him out.

It had started on the very first day. After Mizuki had made his not-so-subtle announcement about the Uchiha clan and their supposed connection to the disaster from two years ago, Itachi had taken a moment to turn and glance back at the rest of the room, his gaze sweeping over the class before frowning at Iruka. Or, more specifically, the ‘gum’ under Iruka’s desk. Then, he raised his hand.

“Yes, Itachi?” Aki-sensei said, pausing mid-lecture. “You have a question?”

“Not exactly,” Itachi answered, his dark eyes drifting back over his shoulder to peer at Iruka. “Are exploding tags allowed in this classroom?”

Iruka was going to strangle him. He’d planned this out to the letter, and now this tiny kid was going to ruin it? He gripped his pencil so hard it almost broke, widening his eyes at the little Uchiha as if to say “don’t you dare,” but the little kid seemed totally unmoved.

“No,” Aki-sensei said, her eyes drifting from Itachi up to where he was staring: Iruka’s desk. “They are not. Iruka?”

Desperately, Iruka tried to salvage the situation, lifting his hands in the air. “Look, I don’t have an exploding tag, my hands are empty-”

“He was sticking it under his desk while you were writing on the chalkboard,” Itachi interrupted. “I saw him hide it under the gum.”

“It’s not an exploding tag!” Iruka barked back, irritated.

“Oh?” Suddenly, Aki-sensei was across the room, standing beside his desk. One of her eyes twitched as she stared down at Iruka, a dangerous gleam in her stare. “And if it’s not an exploding tag, then what is it?”

… he should have seen that one coming. Iruka glared furiously at Itachi, who had already turned around in his seat and didn’t seem to notice the enraged look Iruka was tossing in his direction. If Iruka knew how to radiate a killing intent, he would have, because what was this kid’s deal? It wasn’t like he was going to be personally affected by a little stink-bomb, especially not one as weak as the one Iruka had thrown together this morning by modifying a stolen exploding tag from the training grounds. It was set to go off at a specific trigger, specifically exposure to chakra, which would probably be when Aki-sensei peeled the gum off the desk at the end of class, because he’d used some chakra to stick it right at the edges, and Aki-sensei wasn’t one for finesse, so knowing her, she’d just blast the whole thing with chakra to peel it off, and then… boom! The room would be filled with the smell of rotten eggs. It wouldn’t have bothered anyone else, just smelled up the room and probably also Aki-sensei. To match her stinking personality, because she hated Iruka and never bothered to hide her disdain, so why should anyone care if she smelled as stinky as her attitude?

“...it’s just a stink-tag,” Iruka groused. 

Aki-sensei scowled down at him, folding her arms over her chest. “If it’s just a…” she made a small confused face, “…stink-tag…” she shook her head at the unfamiliar phrase before continuing, “then, I suppose you know how to remove it without setting it off?”

Iruka nodded slowly, his mind already spinning as he re-evaluated his options. He fought to keep his expression neutral as an idea occurred to him. Really, Itachi had brought this on himself with his meddling. If he hadn’t said anything, the only person who would have been affected was Aki-sensei and her nasty attitude.

Aki-sensei was watching him with her sharp gaze. “Honestly, Iruka, sometimes I wonder why you even bother coming to class at all,” she snapped, “if all you’re going to do is make trouble, you might as well not be here.”

Iruka agreed, in a general sense. He didn’t want to be in Aki-sensei’s classroom any more than she wanted him there. But he wanted to become a ninja, a great ninja, like his parents, and that meant he had to graduate from Ninja Academy, even if it meant putting up with mean people like Aki-sensei. “Yes, sensei,” was all he said, reaching under his desk and minding his own chakra, making sure to keep it well away from the ‘gum’, peeling the sticky substance away from the desk to reveal the small tag he’d altered that morning. Then, with a smirk, he turned to face the front of the classroom, and shouted, “Hey, Itachi! Catch!” and pushed a tiny bit of his chakra into the tag as he threw it at Itachi’s head. The tag exploded before it reached the kid, really almost as it left Iruka’s hand, but it was the thought that counted, Iruka decided. The odorous smoke trailed across the room, covering mostly Iruka and Aki-sensei, but also quickly filling the entire classroom with a horrible stench.

Despite the urge to gag, Iruka had to admit the tag had worked well. Next time, he’d have to figure out a detonation timer, or distance trigger for it. It worked basically the same as a regular exploding tag, but with less concussive force and more smell, so he was fairly confident he could get it to work. He grinned, even as Aki-sensei grabbed his shoulder and shook him hard, scolding him about whatever. He wasn’t listening. Instead, as their classroom was being evacuated, amidst the coughing, choking, and streaming eyes, Iruka caught Itachi’s cool, dark gaze, and winked at him. The Uchiha looked away. Heh. Score 1: Umino Iruka.

Iruka’s detention after school to air out the classroom and scrub it top-to-bottom was worth it, he decided. Maybe next time Itachi would think twice before selling him out.

…he did not.

~~*~~

In the weeks that followed, Iruka discovered a few new facts about Uchiha Itachi.

Fact one: Itachi was a rules guy.

He didn’t particularly care what the retaliation would be, if he saw Iruka breaking a rule, he would say something and it would suck. Iruka was usually able to get away with a few pranks here and there just because Aki-sensei couldn’t prove it was him, but with Itachi’s eagle-eyes following him everywhere, it seemed like he was getting detentions nonstop. At this point, Aki-sensei had taken to making Iruka stand in the corner of the classroom and stare at the wall for a few hours after every prank. Then she had the audacity to get mad when Iruka would come in the next day without his homework! He was an older kid in the orphanage, he had chores to do, and he was spending detention staring at a wall! Maybe if she let him do his homework instead of standing around doing nothing, he’d actually be able to finish it! Not that he bothered saying as much - she would have just accused him of making excuses.

Another fact about Uchiha Itachi: He was a genius.

It was more than just how good at everything in school he was, he was also good at catching Iruka when Iruka was trying to pull a prank. He was better at that than his teachers, even! In a way, Itachi reminded Iruka of the ANBU around Hokage Tower, able to somehow spot every trap he was setting up and avoiding every piece of it as if it was nothing. Itachi seemed capable of effortlessly noticing, dismantling, and alerting the adults whenever Iruka tried to pull something, and he took it as a personal challenge. Iruka stopped caring so much about pranking Aki-sensei, who at this point had taken to ignoring him all over again. Instead, he started trying to get Itachi.

A lot of the classic pranks didn’t pan out, and Itachi just reported him to Aki-sensei, who had him stand in a corner until after dinnertime, which usually meant he’d get back to the orphanage late and have nothing to eat and still an hour or two of chores before lights-out. So after a few failed attempts, Iruka moved on from that, but he didn’t give up on the idea. As much as it sucked to go without dinner for a night here and there, he had Itachi’s attention, and he felt like maybe this was a prime way to practice his ANBU traps without alerting any actual ANBU to his early attempts. As he took his time coming up with new pranks, part of Iruka even wondered if Itachi might be enjoying himself, too. It was hard to tell.

This tied into fact three about Uchiha Itachi: He reacted to basically everything in a calm, methodical, mild manner.

Since he never seemed to respond to anything, his lack of reaction to the pranks seemed fairly normal to Iruka. Itachi never seemed especially surprised or angry, and he only really smiled when he was talking about his baby brother, Sasuke. But Iruka thought that maybe Itachi enjoyed the challenge of spotting his pranks, of reporting him to Aki-sensei, almost as much as Iruka enjoyed trying to think up new ways to get him. If he didn’t, then why would he keep doing it? Surely it was easier to just let Iruka do what he wanted.

Things continued on in this way for about a month. Iruka would set a trap, Itachi would spot it and report him to Aki-sensei, Aki-sensei would make him stand in the corner, and Iruka wouldn’t turn in his homework the next day. It became almost routine, until Aki-sensei told the class they would be doing a group homework project. Instantly, everyone started trying to grab their friends and pair up - but Aki-sensei cut them off, saying that everyone would be drawing names from a bag, instead. Starting at the front of the room, she had the students pass the bag to the student beside them, writing down the student pairs on the blackboard as they went.

At least, that’s what she did until Itachi fished out the name of his partner and read it aloud. “Umino Iruka.”

Whispers danced across the classroom. A few of the more dedicated students in the front rows whispered variations on “ouch,” and “tough break!” and “glad I’m not you!” to Itachi, who, as usual, didn’t seem to react at all.

Pressing his lips together to keep from yelling at the other kids about how he was glad he wasn’t them, Iruka clenched his fists. He knew he wasn’t a good student. He knew nobody wanted to be paired up with him when it had to do with studying. He knew that. But it still hurt to hear them say it.

Aki-sensei, meanwhile, was standing at the blackboard, her chalk hovering over the spot where she should have been writing Iruka’s name next to Itachi’s, verifying them as homework partners for the project. Instead, she was frowning. “I don’t normally do this,” she said, “But, if you’d like, Itachi, you can pick a different partner.”

Iruka felt his stomach clench. If he’d like? Of course he’d like! No one wanted to be paired up with Iruka for homework, even Mizuki had scooted over to ask someone else to be his partner before Aki-sensei had brought out the name bag. Iruka stared down at his desk, willing his face to stay neutral, not to show emotion. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to work on this project anyway, so it didn’t matter that no one wanted him. They were right not to want him, it’s not like he wanted to work on this project with anyone anyway.

“No,” came Itachi’s soft, measured voice, “I’m fine with Iruka.”

Iruka hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until it escaped in a whoosh. His head jumped up and he stared at Itachi, baffled. Why would Itachi agree to work with him if he had another choice? If it hadn’t been Itachi, Iruka was pretty sure that Aki-sensei wouldn’t have offered, but she liked Itachi, and hated Iruka. She looked even more shocked than Iruka, still standing in front of the blackboard, chalk in hand, the space next to Itachi’s name still blank.

“You’re sure,” Aki-sensei said, reluctance clear from her tone of voice.

“I am,” Itachi answered, passing the bag of names to the student to his right. “My partner is Iruka.”

And despite the fact that Iruka couldn’t stand Itachi, he felt a small bloom of something warm in his chest. Itachi hadn’t tossed him aside, even though literally everyone else in the class wouldn’t work with him unless they were forced. But Itachi had not only not been forced to work with Iruka, he’d chosen to work with Iruka even when given the alternative - encouraged to take the alternative!

Iruka, who had up to this moment intended to do nothing on the project, found himself wondering if he could clear up some time after school to work with Itachi. He’d probably miss dinner again, the orphanage was pretty strict about mealtimes. But he wanted to do something to show Itachi that he was glad not to be tossed aside, for once. It felt nice. He knew, intellectually, that Itachi hadn’t specifically requested Iruka, but after two years of being avoided, ignored, and actively rejected by most of his classmates when it came to academics… well, he didn’t want to give Itachi a reason to reject him next time.

Slowly, painfully, Aki-sensei turned and wrote Iruka’s name on the board next to Itachi’s, making a face like she’d taken a big bite of raw lemon, rind and all. Iruka grinned. He’d show her. He and Itachi would make a great team.

~~*~~

“Hey! Itachi!” Iruka called, chasing him down after class let out. “Hey,” he puffed, slowing to a walk, moving more sedately than usual to account for Itachi’s shorter legs. “When do you want to start on that project?”

Itachi blinked, turning to look up at Iruka. “What do you mean?”

Iruka frowned. “The group project. The homework assignment. The one Aki-sensei assigned today?”

A hint of red dusted Itachi’s cheeks, and his eyes dropped away from Iruka’s to gaze ahead. “Oh. I’m sorry. I wasn’t planning on working with you at all.”

Iruka felt his chest clench sharply at the words, and he froze in place, his feet seeming rooted to the ground. “What?”

Itachi stopped too, turning to look at Iruka with a vaguely baffled expression. “You never do your homework,” he explained slowly, “and I’m perfectly capable of finishing the project on my own. You don’t need to do anything.”

Iruka felt his face growing hot. “Just because I don’t turn in my homework doesn’t mean I can’t do it!” he protested. “This is a group project! I can help!”

Turning, Itachi continued walking. “I have no way of knowing that based on your current record.” He waved a hand dismissively as he continued, “It’s fine, Iruka. I’ll take care of the project, and we’ll both get a good grade for once.”

Iruka gaped at his receding figure, unable to find words amidst the maelstrom of emotions clutching him. All he could do was stand there and watch as Itachi walked off, probably heading home to his mom and his dad and his brother and all of the other things that Iruka didn’t have that Itachi probably took for granted. He didn’t need Itachi’s help to get a good grade for once, he just needed time. Furious, Iruka spun on his heel, stomping toward the orphanage with so much force that his feet were hurting by the time he arrived.

He got there in time for dinner after all, only to find that he wasn’t hungry.

~~*~~

The next morning dawned bright and early, and Iruka was peeved. It was the weekend, and usually he used his free time to dream up a prank or two for the following week, gather supplies, and run a few preliminary tests to make sure everything worked out the way he expected. Instead, as he lay on his lumpy futon in a room too full of kids that nobody wanted, he grappled with the fact that he wanted to do his homework.

He wanted to do it. He wanted to prove to Itachi that he could do it, that just because he didn’t usually do his homework didn’t mean he couldn’t. He had a copy of the instructions, how hard could it be to just do it?

Several hours later, one bout of frustrated tears, an ink-filled water balloon and some angry shouting later, Iruka realized that homework was a lot harder to finish than he’d anticipated. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t have any reference materials! He’d lost library permission for probably the rest of his life after using one of the library books in a prank that had gone vastly underappreciated, so he couldn’t look up any of the information he needed. And he didn’t have the money for notebooks, he always borrowed paper from Aki-sensei when they needed an extra sheet of paper, so he didn’t have any notes from class to look over, either. Even his prank supplies came by way of his sticky fingers, and he had a feeling that if he tried to steal reference books from the bookstore they might not like that, so much.

So, he’d cried a little, filled a water balloon with ink, snuck out, and dropped the ink bomb onto an unsuspecting passer-by on their way into Hokage Tower. Of course, the ANBU on duty weren’t entirely pleased, though one of them did tell the Chunin who’d been entering that he needed to be more aware of his surroundings, if someone like Iruka could surprise him like that. Iruka took a bit of offense at that - he was pretty good at hiding and catching people off guard, the ANBU were just even better at noticing things.

After the angry Chunin had marched off to wash the ink from his hair and the ANBU on Iruka’s left had finally let him stand up instead of holding him folded over at a 90-degree angle to ensure his apology appeared more or less sincere, Iruka turned to leave. He didn’t feel any better, and his homework still wasn’t even close to finished. He dug into his pocket, pulling out the assignment and glaring balefully at it. Maybe he could hide in the back of one of the bigger bookstores and try to read a few books before they kicked him out?

“Hey kid,” said one of the ANBU who had made him apologize to the ink-covered Chunin, “What’cha got there?” The other ANBU elbowed them in the side and hissed something, but it was too low for Iruka to hear.

“...homework,” Iruka answered the first ANBU, ignoring the second. “But I can’t go to the library, and I don’t have any books or paper at the orphanage.”

“What about your textbook?” the ANBU asked, cocking their head to the side in a manner that implied genuine curiosity.

“When I’m in class I just borrow one of the classroom books, but after I… uh…” Iruka shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Anyway, I’m not allowed to take the textbook out of the classrooms anymore.”

The second ANBU snorted at this, and the first ANBU turned to look at them with what Iruka imagined was a withering stare, although the mask did somewhat disrupt the effect. After a moment, the first ANBU turned back to Iruka. “Lemme see what you’ve got to work on,” said the ANBU, extending a hand. They unrolled the assignment, straightening up a little as they read. “Oh, well, you’re in luck, kiddo. This is a group project, so you can probably just share materials with your partner.”

Iruka wanted to sink into the ground. He swallowed hard, willing himself to lift his eyes to meet the dark space behind the bright white ANBU mask. “My partner doesn’t want to work with me,” he said, his face heating as he explained. “He said that, since I never turn in my homework, he’ll just do it all himself. But I don’t want him to do all the work! I can do it! I just wish he’d given me a chance…” Iruka said, trailing off. He swallowed hard, feeling a prickling at his eyes. Oh no, no, he was not going to cry in front of these ANBU.

“Hmm,” said the ANBU, considering the scroll. “I bet if you asked Sandaime-sama, he might let you use some of his reference books.”

Now it was the second ANBU’s turn to stare pointedly at the first. The first ANBU did not seem affected whatsoever by this reaction.

Iruka blinked, considering the suggestion. Usually, he only visited the third Hokage when he was invited over for tea, about once a month. He’d never considered asking for anything else, or stopping by when it wasn’t their monthly tea time. “You think he would let me do my homework up there?” Iruka asked, pointing to Hokage Tower.

The ANBU nodded slowly. “What do you say we head on up together and find out?”

“This is ridiculous,” the second ANBU protested, “I’m sure the Hokage is-”

“Deeply invested in the education of our new generation of shinobi, yes, I agree,” the first ANBU interrupted sharply. “It can’t hurt to ask.”

The second ANBU sighed, and returned to their post at the door. “Fine. You go on up. But for the record? I think this is-”

“Thank you for your opinion,” the first ANBU interrupted again, one hand on Iruka’s shoulder as he guided him through the door. “I’ll be back out shortly.”

The second ANBU huffed, but said nothing more.

Iruka and the ANBU walked in silence for a few moments before Iruka felt compelled to say, “You didn’t have to interrupt ANBU-san back there. I know nobody wants me around.” He forced a grin even as his stomach twisted uncomfortably. He glanced up at the ANBU, whose grip on his shoulder had tightened incrementally at the words. “I’m a nuisance. Everybody says it, it’s no secret.”

“You’re a kid,” the ANBU replied, their grip loosening slightly as they continued walking, “All kids are nuisances at one time or another. Nothing to worry about.”

Iruka had a feeling most people would disagree with that assessment, but he liked the thought that maybe it was okay to be a nuisance, at least sometimes. He’d never felt that way before, or at least, no one had ever bothered to say as much to him. “Do you really think the Hokage will let me use his books to finish my homework?”

“I don’t know,” the ANBU said honestly, “but it’s worth asking.”

Iruka nodded, and the two of them continued down the corridor in comfortable silence.

~~*~~

As it turned out, the Hokage was not only willing to let Iruka use his books, he also told him that if he ever needed reference materials, he should go to the Sarutobi residence and request access to the clan library.

“You’re welcome to use those resources any time you need them,” the Hokage told him seriously, “...so long as you don’t draw funny moustaches on all of the pictures in the scrolls,” he added with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

Iruka agreed, face heating as he realized the Hokage had heard about how Iruka had ended up with a probably-lifetime ban from the community library. After the two of them looked over Iruka’s assignment together, the Hokage sent him off to the Sarutobi residence with a list of four or five references to find and bring back. “We’ll work together,” he said. “I’ll do my paperwork, and you can do your homework. When we’re done, we can have lunch together.”

Accustomed to a five-finger-discount lunch on the typical weekend, Iruka brightened considerably at the idea of a hot meal. “Great! Thanks!”

“If you wouldn’t mind accompanying Iruka to the Sarutobi compound, ANBU-san?” the Hokage asked, turning to raise an eyebrow in the direction of the ANBU that had brought Iruka up to his office.

The ANBU bowed. “Yes sir.”

Iruka grinned as he followed the ANBU back down the stairs and across the village towards the Sarutobi compound, clenching his fist tight around the assignment. He’d show Itachi! He’d walk into the Academy on Monday with the best homework assignment of the whole class!

~~*~~

When Monday rolled around, Iruka strolled into the classroom like he owned it. Grinning wide, he walked right up to Aki-sensei’s desk and set his assignment beside the small pile of assignments that several other students had dropped off on their way into class.

Aki-sensei glanced down, her nose wrinkling slightly as she looked at Iruka’s submission. “What is this?” she asked, lifting her eyes to stare at Iruka with suspicion.

“My homework,” Iruka replied belligerently. 

“But Itachi already submitted your homework,” Aki-sensei said, glancing at the dark-haired, dark-eyed boy who was in his usual front row seat, staring at them like Iruka had grown a second head overnight.

“He submitted his version,” Iruka clarified with a grin, feeling almost excited. “This is my version.”

Now Aki-sensei looked downright worried as she picked up his assignment using only the very tips of her fingers. “Is that so?” she sneered. “So if I open this, it will contain your research project, and not, say, a stink bomb?”

Iruka scowled. “No, there’s no stink bomb.”

“Some kind of dead animal?” Aki-sensei prodded.

How uncreative! As if Iruka would do something so obvious. “Of course not,” he scoffed, insulted by the very idea. 

“Of course not,” Aki-sensei repeated, her eyes narrowed. She didn’t seem particularly convinced. “What did you do to this?” she finally demanded. “Where’s the punchline?”

“There is no punchline,” Iruka said, the sick feeling crawling back into his stomach as more and more students were walking into class, dropping their assignments on the desk, and heading to their seats. What was the big deal with his homework? Why did she have such a problem with it?

“Right,” Aki-sensei scoffed. “Well, I suppose, if there’s no prank, then you won’t mind if I do this,” she said, crushing the paper between her palms before throwing it into the wastepaper bin. 

“No!” Iruka cried, taking an involuntary step forward.

“Iruka,” Aki-sensei said sharply, “This was a group project. I will only accept one submission for the assignment. Did you really think I would take yours over Itachi’s?”

Iruka felt like he’d been hollowed out from the inside as he shook his head weakly. Of course not. Nothing he did would ever measure up to Itachi. Why had he even tried?

“Take your seat, Iruka,” Aki-sensei said sharply, “You’re holding up the class.”

Numbly, Iruka shuffled to the back of the classroom, sinking into his chair and staring ahead without really seeing anything. He didn’t fall asleep, but by the time classes were finished for the day he still hadn’t managed to focus long enough to recall a single thing from Aki-sensei’s lecture.

He moved like he was in a fog, slipping his worn school bag over his shoulder and shuffling out the door, barely able to remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other. What was the point? Why should he try at all, if it wasn’t even going to make a difference in the end? 

He kept trudging his way across town, and was nearly back to the orphanage when he heard someone calling his name.

“Iruka! Iruka!”

He turned, expecting maybe Mizuki, or Anko, or one of the other orphans who stayed in the orphanage and just wanted some company as they headed in together. Instead, he saw Itachi jogging towards him, holding a crumpled piece of paper. Iruka’s heart sank. Perfect. The last person he wanted to see after today. Why was he here? What was he doing with an old paper, and why was he chasing after Iruka, waving it around like a flag?

“What do you want?” Iruka demanded, hating that he was losing to a kid half his age, half his size, and twice as good as him at literally everything.

“I wanted to apologize,” Itachi answered, not even a little winded from his run. Showoff.

“Apologize for what?” Iruka asked, frowning a little. For being so perfect at everything?

“I underestimated you, Umino Iruka,” Itachi said, his little face drawn into a look so serious that it just ended up looking cute. For a moment, Iruka almost forgot how much he couldn’t stand the kid.

“...how so?” Iruka finally asked, sticking his hands into his pockets and staring down at this nuisance of a kid. Well. Nuisance to Iruka, anyway. He wasn’t surprised that he’d been underestimated, that was pretty much his entire life story at this point.

“This is really good work,” Itachi explained, still with that adorable serious look on his face. He extended the crumpled paper in Iruka’s direction, at which point Iruka finally realized that it wasn’t any old crumpled paper.

It was Iruka’s homework paper. The one he’d slaved over for hours. The one he’d spent almost the entire weekend in the Hokage’s office working on. The homework that Aki-sensei had crumpled up and thrown out without even bothering to look at it. “Give me that!” he snapped, his fingers closing around the paper, tugging it out of Itachi’s grasp.

The kid let it go without a fuss. “It’s really excellent work,” he said. “If you submitted work like that every day, you could probably be near the top of the class.”

“If I had time to submit work like that, maybe,” Iruka snapped back. “Some of us don’t have that luxury.” he jerked his head in the direction of the orphanage. “I have to go feed some kids and clean the bathrooms now, so…”

Itachi tilted his head, a confused look crossing his features. “You feed kids? Are they your siblings?”

Iruka laughed at that. “Nah, but they don’t have anyone else to feed them,” he answered, thinking of little Nanako with the big brown eyes and frizzy black hair who hated vegetables, of Haru, who should be able to eat on his own now but still made a huge mess when he did, and even … Naruto … the living embodiment of his parents’ killer. It was awkward, sometimes, being that close to the vessel of a monster, but he was still a kid. It was weird, but Iruka didn’t mind it, not the way some people did.

“Oh,” Itachi looked surprised. “I feed my brother, sometimes. When mom and dad aren’t home.”

Iruka considered Itachi. “Sasuke, right? Your little brother?”

An actual smile bloomed across Itachi’s face at that. “Yeah,” he said. “Sasuke.”

“Cool,” Iruka said awkwardly, crumpling the homework assignment back into a ball and shoving it into his pocket. “Well, I’m going to go… feed. Kids.”

“Okay,” Itachi said, nodding. “Oh, and Iruka?” he added, just before Iruka turned to walk away.

“Yeah?” Iruka asked, feeling his shoulders stiffen almost involuntarily. “What?”

“Next time we have a group project…” Itachi’s gaze wandered, resting on the orphanage, the trees, the sky, anything but Iruka, “Maybe we could work together?”

Iruka felt something inside him melt at that, the tension he’d been carrying all day finally loosening as he felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “Sure,” he said cautiously. “Thanks.”

Itachi nodded once to acknowledge he’d heard before turning around and gliding away, most likely heading for the Uchiha compound.

Iruka watched him go, not quite sure how to feel. Relieved that Itachi had acknowledged his effort? Frustrated that he hadn’t trusted him to do the work in the first place? Annoyed that Itachi was the one who got to decide whether or not they’d work together on a group project in the future? With a sigh, he decided it wasn’t worth worrying about. He had bathrooms to clean and toddlers to feed. Whatever else was going on in his life, he could worry about it later.

As he turned to face the orphanage, he frowned, considering the new homework Aki-Sensei had assigned today, crumpled up in his school bag. Maybe, after dinner, after his chores, he would head over to the Sarutobi library for an hour or two and see if he could at least get some of it finished by nightfall. Sure, it might be lights-out by the time he got back to the orphanage, but Iruka had gotten pretty good at sneaking past wards, and he was pretty sure he’d have no problem sneaking back into the orphanage after lights-out.

That decided, Iruka grinned and marched up the front steps of the orphanage. This time, it wasn’t a group project, so Aki-sensei would have to accept his assignment. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he handed it in.