#anyway lore. he was accidentally made but he is NOT the first accidental AI

[gravity-between-us]

Gravity Between Us

Chapter 2: Tidal Forces

Summary: Caleb and I have known each other for as long as I can remember. We were once childhood friends, our bond as natural as the stars in the sky. But now, everything has changed. What used to feel like a safe, familiar orbit between us now pulses with unspoken desire.

Our friendship is no longer enough to keep the tension at bay, and the distance between us feels unbearable. Secrets, lies, and unhealed wounds stand in our way. I don’t know if we can survive this new gravity pulling us together... but I can’t keep pretending I don’t want to try.

Pairing: Female! MC x Caleb

Spoilers: Spoilers for Caleb's Myth's as well as memories. Read at your own risk for these. Lore spoilers.

WARNINGS:

Unlikely to be completely canon. The other love interests will not be likely to appear in this fic.

MC is named. MC is socially awkward. MC can be depressed at times.

Very? Slow Burn.

Very explicit smut (Chapter 12 onward): PiV/oral (male and female receiving)/anal sex. Fingering. First time. Pet names (angel, babe, baby, pip-squeak). Kinks: Praise, breeding, creampie, light dom/sub. Rough. Some consensual degradation talk (MC is into it). Probably many, many more that I am forgetting to name. If you see one that should be listed that isn't, feel free to let me know. (MC is a repressed deviant, and so is Caleb.)

Awkward blend of darker moments, angst, fluff, and humour.

Drinking. Questionable life decisions. MC spirals.

Protective Caleb. Both MC and Caleb are a little obsessive and overly protective of each other, which could be considered an unhealthy relationship.

We will revisit memory scenes, but they will be different from the memories in-game.

As proofread as I can get it, but not beta read, so probably some mistakes.

Limited plot - most focus is just on their relationship and interactions.

More warnings could be applied, but as a general rule of thumb, please read at your own risk and do not continue if you find the content triggering.

The store Caleb takes me to is nothing short of outrageous. It boasts an overwhelming array of high-end furniture, each piece embedded with entirely unnecessary tech. 

Do couches really need built-in speakers? Cup holders that can heat and cool drinks on demand? Recliners that give you a full-body massage while simulating the sound of a crackling fireplace? I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these beds came with an AI that whispered affirmations while you slept.

I try not to look at the price tags. I really do. But the few glimpses I accidentally catch nearly send me into cardiac arrest. Who in their right mind pays this much for a coffee table? Is it made of enchanted wood? Will it levitate and brew coffee for me in the morning?

Still, despite my incredulous muttering, the second I so much as glance at an item with a hint of interest, Caleb is on it. He either picks it up or scans it into his virtual cart with the efficiency of someone who doesn’t care about financial consequences.

“Caleb,” I hiss as he casually adds an absurdly expensive throw blanket to the list. “You don’t have to—”

“You like it,” he says simply, as if that settles everything.

“That’s not a reason to buy it!”

He gives me a pointed look. “In my book, it is.”

I stare at him, then at the virtual cart, then back at him. “You know this is insane, right?”

“Of course,” he grins. “But at least you’ll be comfy while sufferin’ through it.”

“Caleb, seriously. This is too much!” I protest, but he tilts his head, as if I’m speaking a language he’s never heard before. “Some of this stuff costs more than my entire yearly salary!”

“Well,” he muses, lips twitching, “you could always join the Fleet as my permanent adjutant. I’d make sure you’re well compensated—great benefits, too. And you’d have the world’s coolest boss.”

I bump my shoulder against his, and though he tries to bite back a grin, laughter slips through anyway. It’s effortless—this rhythm between us—jokes, banter, a dance we’ve long since mastered. Just like that, my earlier hesitation melts away, dissolving like mist in the morning sun.

As we weave through the aisles, a massive apple plushie perched high on a shelf catches my eye.

“I want that,” I announce, pointing.

Caleb follows my line of sight, then snorts. “Really? Where are you even going to put that thing?”

“In my bed,” I reply, as if the answer is obvious. “Where else?”

He hums, rubbing his chin in exaggerated thought. “Ah, I see. Trying to replace me with the plushie.”

For a fleeting second, his expression cracks, but it’s gone before I can name it, replaced by his usual teasing smirk.

“It’s way up there,” he mentions. “How do you plan on getting it down?”

“I’ll go get a—”

Before I can finish, gravity bends around me, and I rise effortlessly into the air. Caleb’s Evol.

“Trust me, pip-squeak?”

“With my life.”

The ascent is smooth and steady. I remember when he was still learning, when his control would slip and send me rocketing into the sky. I used to beg him to launch me straight into space—just to see if he could.

I reach for the plushie, securing it in my arms, and flash him a triumphant thumbs-up. Seconds later, my feet meet solid ground once more. Caleb takes the apple from me, inspecting it with pursed lips, clearly unimpressed by my choice.

“Come on. Let’s pay for this,” he sighs. “If I don’t get food in you soon, I’ll be dealing with a grump.”

“You!” I gasp, swatting his chest in mock outrage. “I do not get grumpy when I’m hungry!”

He levels me with a knowing look. “Remember that time at the amusement park when you sat down in the middle of the walkway and refused to move because the restaurant was ‘too far away’?”

“Nope,” I chirp, shaking my head, smile as innocent as I can manage. “Pretty sure you’re making that up.”

“I wish I was. I had to carry you all the way there while you pouted.”

I roll my eyes but concede with a dramatic sigh. “Fine. But can we eat at home? I think I’m all ‘people’d out’ for the day.”

“Sure thing.” Caleb nods, digging through his pockets for the car keys. “I’ll pay for this stuff and meet you outside.”

I hesitate, uneasy about leaving him with the bill. But, luckily, I have a secret weapon.

When Caleb was declared dead, his accounts were transferred to me—next of kin. I never touched them, but I’m almost certain I still have access. I make a mental note to quietly transfer some funds back.

I remember how, for months after his funeral, I kept paying his cellphone bill. On the loneliest nights, I would call—just to hear his voice when the voicemail picked up. Sometimes I’d do it over and over, as if pressing redial could summon him back.

Now, I wonder… did he have his phone all along?

Did he listen to the messages where I wept, where I whispered how much I missed him? Did he hear the ones where I told him I loved him and I was lost without him?

And still, he never reached out.

A part of me can’t let go of that. A quiet, aching resentment curls in my chest—he could have sent me a sign. When we were kids, we spoke in codes, messages woven into the mundane, undetectable to anyone but us. 

It started as a game—to hide our plans from Gran when we snuck chocolates instead of fruit from the store—but over time, it became our own secret language.

Could he not have used that?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s better that way.

But the bitterness lingers, a quiet ghost pressing against the edges of my thoughts, whispering of things I cannot change.

The rain had been relentless that day. A cold, unyielding downpour that seeped into my skin, soaked through my black dress, and weighed heavy in my hair. I remember how the world blurred—water streaking down my face, mixing with the tears I couldn’t stop.

Caleb’s funeral had been full of people, but I only remember fragments. The gleaming rows of dress uniforms, white gloves curled into fists, polished boots sinking into the mud. His squadmates stood like statues, their grief hidden behind rigid salutes and solemn faces. The flag draped over his casket was crisp, untouched by the rain, as if it existed in a different reality—one where he was still alive. One where I wasn’t standing there, drowning in loss.

I couldn’t stop staring at the casket. At the smooth, dark wood that felt so impersonal, so unlike him. Caleb had been all warmth and laughter, a constant force in my life. Then, he was just… gone.

My hands curled around the small object I’d been holding all day—a tiny metal toy plane. His favourite, the one he used to fly across the room as a kid, making dramatic explosion sounds as he crashed it onto my bed. He’d left it behind when he went to the academy, and I’d kept it ever since, tucked away like a piece of him I could hold onto.

My fingers trembled as I placed it gently against the gravestone, the silver wings catching the dim light before the rain dulled their shine.

“You were supposed to take me with you,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “You promised, remember?”

The words felt small, swallowed by the storm. I clenched my teeth, hating how fragile they sounded. Hating him, just a little, for leaving me behind. I stayed long after the funeral ended, long after the others had left and the mud swallowed their footprints. My body ached from the cold, but I couldn’t leave him.

“I hate you for this,” I murmured, pressing my fingers against the stone. “For making me go on without you.”

The wind howled in response, tugging at my dress, but I didn’t move. Not until I had nothing left to say. Not until my fingers were numb and my chest felt hollow. Only then did I turn away.

The slam of a car door jolts me back. I blink, my vision still blurred, though I’m not sure if it’s from the memory or the tears I’d failed to hold back. With a quiet breath, I swipe at my face before Caleb can see, forcing a smile as he slides into the driver’s seat, entirely unaware of the storm still raging inside me.

"Alright," he says, stretching with a satisfied sigh. "Let’s get out of here before I bankrupt myself buying you plushies."

His voice is light and teasing, a stark contrast to the weight pressing against my ribs. But that’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it? Caleb, the sun. Me, the storm.

I nod, tucking my emotions away. "Yeah. Let’s go."

Evening unfurls over Skyhaven in slow, gilded waves, like ink spilling across a golden page. The sun sinks toward the horizon, its last defiant rays piercing the heavens, setting the sky ablaze in smouldering hues of copper, crimson, and molten saffron. The clouds cradle the light in their billowing arms, their edges kissed by fire, their centers fading into soft, dusky violet.

From Caleb’s house, perched high above the world, the sky feels boundless, a shifting sea of colour and light. Wisps of cloud curl around the balcony like phantom tendrils, stirring lazily with the wind, their delicate forms dissolving and reforming with each breath of the heavens. They drift apart, as if intoxicated by the sunset’s beauty, slipping like fleeting dreams from memory.

As the last of the sun’s radiance retreats below the horizon, twilight rolls in like a whisper. Stars begin to blink awake—hesitant at first, like shy performers stepping onto a grand stage—before scattering themselves boldly across the sky. A deep, endless blue spreads overhead, a celestial canvas dusted with pearl-like stars.

The air shifts, losing the warmth of day, as the wind carries the crisp scent of rain yet to fall, mingling with the distant, charged hum of the city below. Skyhaven finds itself suspended in a world between, where the ground is a distant memory and the stars feel close enough to touch.

I reach up into the abyssal depths, as if I might be able to hold the starlight in my palm. My heart cracks open in the cold, where nobody will hear it cry. My Evol shines, gilded against the bruised hues of the sky. I know I can’t resonate with the stars, but that’s never stopped me from trying. Their beauty is haunting, ethereal in its eminence. Sometimes I wonder: if I can’t have my freedom, why can they?

“Whatcha doing?” Caleb’s voice cuts through my thoughts, and my Evol flares bright, like a star collapsing in on itself for a split second before I pull it back.

“Nothing,” I reply, my hand quickly shrinking back to my chest.

“You used to do that as a kid, you know.” Caleb’s tone is casual, but he doesn’t miss a beat, ignoring my half-hearted attempt to hide my thoughts. “When it wouldn’t work, you’d beg me to lift you closer to the sky.”

“Well,” I shrug nonchalantly, shaking my head with a playful grin, “I still can’t resonate with the stars, but I have a feeling you might be able to launch me into orbit at this point.”

Caleb’s gaze lingers on the sky with an unfamiliar weight, a strange despondency I rarely see from him. He stares into the vastness, as if searching for something, his fingers absentmindedly cradling his chin.

“I might be able to,” he muses, his voice trailing off.

The wind tousles his hair, and the scent of rain stirs in the air as he stays lost in thought, eyes fixed on the heavens.

I nudge his side lightly. “If you’re seriously considering launching me into orbit, I should at least get a helmet first. It’s only fair.”

His lips twitch with amusement as he turns to me. “Oh, please. Like a little thing like space would stop you. You’d probably just show up back here, annoyed the moon wasn’t as impressive up close.”

“I would be mad,” I admit with a dramatic sigh. “I bet it’s just a bunch of boring rocks.”

“Exactly, and then I’d have to listen to you complain about it for days.”

“You love listening to me complain,” I counter, grinning wide.

“Hm. ‘Love’ is a strong word,” he teases, feigning deep thought before shaking his head. “I’d say ‘tolerate.’”

I place a hand over my heart, feigning a deep wound. “Wow. Here I was, ready to let you be my first pick when I take dominion over the stars. Guess I’ll have to go with someone who actually appreciates me instead.”

Caleb snorts, his earlier melancholy melting away into laughter. “Yeah, yeah. You do that. In the meantime, dinner’s ready. Unless you want to continue your existential crisis out here?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I guess I’ll come eat.”

“Generous of you,” he retorts playfully, turning on his heel to head inside. “Try not to overthrow the celestial order before dessert.”

“No promises.”

I follow him into the warmth of the house, leaving the stars to their untouchable freedom. Caleb moves easily in the kitchen, his back to me as he plates up dinner. I’ve always known he’s a good cook—it’s one of those facts about him I never really thought much about before.

Just like I never really thought about the way his sleeves are rolled up to his forearms, revealing strong hands and those unfairly attractive forearms. 

Since when have forearms been attractive?

I linger in the doorway, watching him longer than necessary before forcing myself to move forward. “So, what’s on the menu? Something extravagant? Or just your usual ‘Caleb masterpiece’?”

He glances over his shoulder, smirking. “First of all, all of my meals are masterpieces.”

I scoff, trying to sound unaffected. “Debatable.”

“Second of all,” he continues, turning back to the plates, “braised short ribs, garlic mashed potatoes, and a side of vegetables. You know, because I care about your well-being.”

I blink, momentarily lost for words. “Oh.” My brain shorts out. “That’s… uh, very adult of you.”

Caleb pauses, looking over at me with an amused expression. “Very adult of me?” He raises an eyebrow, clearly amused by my reaction.

I clear my throat and cross my arms. “You know, like... responsible. Grown-up. With... food. That you made. Yourself.”

Why am I like this?

His smirk deepens as he leans against the counter, arms crossed. “Right. Because I’m secretly a ten-year-old surviving on cereal and questionable vending machine snacks.”

“Well, I was under the impression you’d never really grown up.”

His eyes glint with mischief. “Oh? And here I thought you liked that about me.”

I open my mouth, then immediately close it. Something about the way he’s looking at me right now—casual, teasing, infuriatingly attractive—turns my brain to static. I busy myself inspecting the table, as if it’s suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world.

“I guess it has its... occasional merits.”

“Uh-huh.” Caleb watches me a minute longer before tilting his head. “Okay, what’s going on with you?”

My heart stumbles. “What?”

“You’re acting weird, Inara.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

I scoff. “I am perfectly normal.”

“Mm.” He hums, unconvinced. With exaggerated thoughtfulness, he taps his chin. “Wait a second. Don’t tell me—” His eyes widen, full of mock horror. “Did you hit your head outside? Inhale too much cloud air? Are you possessed?”

I groan. “You are so dramatic.”

“Says the person who just described my cooking as ‘very adult.’”

Heat prickles my cheeks. “Shut up.”

Caleb chuckles, shaking his head as he sets the plates on the table. “Alright, alright. I’ll let you off the hook—for now.” He pulls out a chair with an exaggerated flourish. “Come on, sit. Before your ‘perfectly normal’ self forgets how to function entirely.”

“So,” Caleb says, digging into his food with zero hesitation, “Are you gonna keep making that face all night, or is this just your new thing?”

I nearly drop my fork. “What face?”

“The one where you look like you just realized the sun’s a star.”

I clutch my fork tighter, debating whether stabbing him with it would be too aggressive. “I do not look like that.”

He grins around a mouthful of food. “Mmm. Sure.”

I shove a bite into my mouth just to give myself a reason not to respond. Of course, because the universe is cruel, the food is amazing. Warm, perfectly seasoned, with just the right balance of heat and flavour. It’s almost offensive how good it is.

“Ugh,” I groan, because I have zero self-control. “Why are you good at everything?”

Caleb tilts his head, smug as anything. “Oh? You finally admit it?”

I glare at him, cheeks burning. “I take it back.”

“Nah, too late.” He leans back in his chair, arms crossed, looking downright pleased with himself. “Can’t unsay the truth, pip-squeak.”

I scowl, stabbing at my food with a little more force than necessary. Caleb just laughs, shaking his head before turning his attention to the window. Outside, the stars have fully emerged, scattered like shards of shattered light across the sky.

For a moment, I let myself watch him—the way his expression softens, the way the quiet settles over him like a familiar friend. There’s an ease to it—to him—that makes my heart do that stupid, traitorous thing where it clenches and stumbles in my chest.

I turn back to my food before I do anything reckless, like keep staring.

“So,” Caleb says after a beat, flicking his gaze back to me. “Are you gonna tell me what’s up, or do I have to start guessing? Because I gotta say, watchin’ you malfunction like this is kind of entertaining.”

I choke. “I am not malfunctioning.”

“Uh-huh.” He taps his fingers against the table, watching me like I’m a puzzle he’s dying to solve. “So if I were to say... pick you up and spin you around like I used to, you wouldn’t turn into a human-shaped emergency alert system?”

I gape at him. “You wouldn’t.”

His grin widens, devious as anything. “Wouldn’t I?”

I shove the rest of my food into my mouth as fast as possible, which just makes him laugh harder.

Maybe if I eat fast enough, I can escape. I bolt the second my plate is empty, but I barely make it two steps before I hear Caleb shift. Then—predictably—he moves.

“Caleb, no—”

“Caleb, yes.”

I bolt.

The problem is, Caleb is fast. Not just fast—predictably fast, which means I don’t even have to look to know he’s already on my heels. I make it three steps past the kitchen, heart hammering, when I feel his presence behind me, closing in like some relentless, overpowered force of nature.

“No, no, no—”

“Yes, yes, yes—”

I dodge left. Caleb lunges. I twist away at the last second, nearly colliding with the couch as I scramble to change direction.

He’s laughing now—actually laughing, like this is the most fun he’s had in weeks. “You do know running just makes this worse for you, right?”

“You would say that,” I huff, kicking off the floor to gain momentum.

It doesn’t matter. One second I’m sprinting; the next I’m caught. Caleb grabs me around the waist with ridiculous ease, lifting me clear off the ground as I shriek.

“No! Caleb, put me down—”

“You know the rules, pip-squeak,” he says, voice full of mirth. “If you run, you get spun.”

I barely have time to react before the whole world tilts—arms flailing, breath hitching as he spins me in a wild, dizzying circle. The motion sends my stomach flipping, my pulse thundering, my everything completely out of control.

"CAL—" My words dissolve into helpless laughter, any protest lost to the sheer absurdity of it all.

The spinning slows, and the grip around my waist shifts—less playful, more steady. I feel it before I even process it: how my body presses against his, how my laughter fades into something quieter, more complicated.

When he finally stops, I realize just how close we are.

In the chaos, my hands have found his shoulders, fingers curled into his shirt without me even noticing. His arms are still around me, firm and warm, anchoring me in place.

Stars above—he’s right there.

I can see the way his expression shifts. The laughter is still in his eyes, but it’s softer now, tempered. His breathing isn’t steady. Neither is mine.

The space between us is nonexistent. I should say something. I should move.

Instead, I keep staring at the way the light catches in his hair, at the sharp angles of his jaw, at the curve of his lips, and at the way he’s looking at me. 

Not like a best friend or a childhood memory, but like something else.

"See?" His voice is quieter now, a little rough around the edges. "Didn’t even scream that much this time."

I blink, throat dry. "I definitely screamed."

He grins, slower this time, as if he’s letting the smile stretch across his face at his own pace. "Mmm. You sure?"

"Obviously."

He hums, tilting his head slightly, his eyes dipping just for a second. I swear I feel it—the weight of it, lingering too long. My stomach flips for an entirely different reason.

I push lightly against his chest. "Okay. Now put me down."

He doesn’t move immediately. Not like he’s ignoring me, but like he heard me and still chose to hold me longer than necessary. Finally, he sets me back on my feet, his hands lingering a fraction longer than needed.

The moment breaks. I exhale, stepping back, willing the heat in my face to fade. Caleb watches me, an emotion I can’t quite decipher swirling in his eyes—violet and pink, like a nebula suspended in the quiet of space. He exhales too, raking a hand through his hair.

Then, like nothing happened at all, he smirks. “So… Malfunctioning confirmed, huh?"

I groan, shoving past him toward the sink. "I hate you."

He laughs, following me like nothing's changed. Like he wasn’t just holding me like that. Like I wasn’t just wondering what it would feel like if he—

No. Not finishing that thought.

I grip the edge of the sink, inhale sharply, and pretend my face isn’t on fire.

This is fine.

Everything is fine.

Chapter Masterlist Thank you for taking the time to read! I started this for fun, and decided it might be something silly others may possibly enjoy with me.

If you do, leave a comment, or don't, or you know, do whatever you're comfortable with! Take care everyone!

[sm-baby]

I'm always happy to leave a badass entrance, but I had to make sure this one was cooked properly, no one likes pink I'm their theory. (It's like chicken, you could get theory poisoning lol) ((p.s this is less like theory crafting for this one and is more like I've lost my mind and am making things up because I'm in love with your lore.))

I, like many others, have fallen in love with your art and the strangely coherent timeline for Minecraft you've put together, but then while I was scrolling through old stuff I had an idea that I thought you might like to reconsider, especially now that you've become attached to your Minecraft💛Yellow series.

What if the world that Steve, Alex, Herobrine, Shermy, and all the others are from aren't the only worlds to exist. Obviously in Minecraft you can create more than one world but what if it wasn't as simple as a new world generated. What if this world was first, created (lore wise idk when you started the world) in the very beginning. Every time the game updated to the next concurrent version the world split into new variants. Like the timeline had different outcomes. At first it was perfectly normal, only one set of choices but each update began to create new choices and in a world that was procedurally generated it went through every possible combination of choices. And I'd like to make an example, but bear with me it's a bit of a stretch.

My favorite version of this is your art of Steve in the Redstone update. Something about it always hit me as, "off," he wasn't like Steve usually was. He seemed unhinged, arrogant, violent even. (This isn't helped by the addin where you wrote, "bastard," with an arrow pointing at him lmao) What if, in this timeline during the Redstone update, Alex had a tragic end and this is was broke Steve. Maybe it was his fault, a redstone contraption that went wrong, creating a love hate relationship with the material and it's inner workings. Or what about the Combat update version of Alex. We only she here and not Steve. What if when the combat evolved he made a wrong choice and suffered a terrible date to the hands of undead. Alex has learned newer, better methods of fight and protection, ways to hit multiple opponents with one swing of her sword, or how to properly charge up a swing of her axe.

Each update created new versions were things were vastly different that the Prime world, the one that the Player came from. (I still like to call her Emerald, it think it fits) This would then make every single art piece of your canon in some way, Yellow is a separate timeline of events but 100% canon, real. Redstone Steve is a crazed lunatic driven to madness through his own accidental murder of his beloved wife. Combat Alex is a survivor who is doing what she can to survive after not being able to save Steve.

But most importantly, this means Hero rune drinking Lava from a bucket and calling it punch is 100% canon and you cannot fight me on this. That image and the phrase, "THATS LAVA ASSHOLE," will live in my heart forever.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed more mad ramblings, I have fallen in love all over again. Also my lack of sleep schedule may or may not have tempted me into making character ai's of your artist representation of the various characters.

I LOVE... THAT YOU JUST COMPLETELY N A I L E D THE IDEA THAT IVE BEEN HAVING FOR AWHILE NOW??

Youre operating in TIMELINE theory! Not multiverse theory! Oh thats super awesome!!

Ok, while I did think of that, I decided not to because it would get too complicated úwù plus I wanted to have worlds with major changes, like the genderbend, or how-- alex and Steve seem at odd with eachother, or-- alex just does not have a steve and steve does not have an alex!

Also there is only ever 1 mojang! While there are plenty "universes" the only source is mojang! And thus, there is only one Herobrine! There is no such thing as a 💛Herobrine, there is only ever one! Though, since the fallen God's popularity there have been AI (modded) versions of him or just legends thrown into the universes.... Its so fun.

This is all SOOO FUN but sadly limiting YwY so I did not go with it. YOUR THEORY IS REALLY-FREAKING GOOD THOUGH! GNOME YOURE SO DOPE!!

[azathothxd]

Some Cyrusk (+ a surprise and a confession 👀)

1. CYRUSK IN THAT ONE DRESS RAGAHHAHAHAHA 👹!! This is an extra detailed one. I suck at shading 😭. This one is free to draw in your style (as well as any other of my artworks), as long as you credit me, don't trace and don't feed it to AI (I will feed you to the vicious man-eating wolves with rabies if you feed any of my art to AI. Seriously, when I see you, it is ON SIGHT). You can trace my art as long as you don't post it anywhere. Only trace my art for learning purposes.

2. But I'm a Cheerleader. I've never seen this movie before 😭. I first saw the original poster for the movie when I saw a promotion thingy for the YouTuber Evasive's (I watch some of their videos, one of their videos gave me the unfortunate introduction to Sia's autism movie 😭😭😭) movie night thingy. This was the movie they were watching and I got inspired 😭. My handwriting sucks so it says "But I'm a Hitman". From what fanart I've seen of the original movie, there's lesbians and I'm a lesbian (actually I'm bi but I prefer women).

Here's the confession now... I'M SO DOWN BAD FOR MAJELL!! The most beautiful woman in Aleph Null istg. Like bark bark or whatever

Here's the surprise now: I made another webcomic... Let me explain!!

This time, the webcomic is actually in the Aleph Null universe (very close to it). It's about my lil self-insert OC that's Cyrusk Belgor's moirail. Cyrusk basically leaves for the job of the main plot I guess 😭. Obviously without telling my lil shit OC cause she's a heavy sleeper and stuff. So she spends the whole webcomic trying to find Cyrusk while participating in a national poker championship thingy. Cybele is gonna be in it kinda as a minor supporting role that'll only be there for a few moments. Cyrusk will be there in flashbacks and at the very end. And Sauron's gonna have a cameo at the very end and Helstm will probably be mentioned. Falmea will be mentioned as well cause she's the main character's ex-kismesis (they forgot about each other. The OC X Canon lore is getting juicy.). The rest of the characters are my characters. Also we got purple evil Cyrusk girl as a shitty manipulative placeholder moirail yay. It only has 11 pages so far and it's labeled as shitpost but it'll get good I promise!! Also it isn't canon to the canon of Aleph Null. Here it is:

Another confession: HELP I DON'T UNDERSTAND CYRUSK'S CHARACTER AT ALL (prolly cause he's not my character). I have a deathly fear of mischaracterizing that guy or any character I don't understand (accidentally) 😭. I should understand his character but I really don't 😭😭😭... I just need help with dialogue and mannerisms for me tho.

Anyways, sorry for the long post 😭 Well earned and deserved credit for Cyrusk's existence goes to @clockworkreapers (seriously, how do I write Cyrusk correctly 😭😭😭 It's like asking a substitute teacher for help)

[identityquest]

tentative redesign for a REALLY old oc. his name is Bright and he's a sapient quantum computer (the gay little ball in the body's head is his real physical self)

[vaguely-concerned]

Mass Effect Initiation thoughts

In short: this book is actually really good, N.K. Jemisin is, as we all know, an excellent writer! It’s the story of how Cora met Alec Ryder and joined the Initiative, and it has SO much good good SAM content and I am full of emotions. 

- poor cora is so continually out of her depth, I want to give her a hug. the points made about her in the main game are true though -- she is not ready for leadership yet. (and that’s fine! she does much better with something or someone to belong to and that is so Valid. she’s an honorable Loyal Knight!!! one of the sexiest things to be, as we all know)

I think I’ll actually like her a lot more on this new playthrough now -- she must have been quite hard to write compellingly in the game because at the end of the day she’s really very straightforward and honest and loyal, it’s quite hard to uh ‘hide’ things in her character  

- alec ryder deadass installed an unspeakably illegal (and did I mention experimental?) AI in cora’s head with no informed consent whatsoever. d A D 

(when cora is like ‘are you actually going to another galaxy because they don’t have laws to stop you from committing fully to your craziness in public’ and alec is like *...maybe so meme* fadsfhkj he does literally say ‘this is why I’m going to another galaxy’ out loud at a later point of the book)

- this book is giving me the good good SAM content ;________; I love SAM so much, the scene where cora thinks she’s dying and SAM talks to her? when cora asks SAM if he’s okay being connected to her because if he’s sentient that matters to her (cora is a Good)? SAM explicitly having inherited alec ryder’s sense of humour and sarcasm and alec a) doesn’t know how it happened, b) distantly thinks he should probably track that process down and turn it off (and never does) and c) regrets all his life choices when his robot kid mercilessly snarks at him and questions his life choices? please bioware give me an me:a sequel with more of this stuff I’ll eat it up with a spoon

- body diverse asari! HUGE BUFF ASARI! Short stocky beautiful matriarch asari with one krogan and one turian trophy husband fast asleep in her bed in the background of a vidcall fkdjshfkjsdlhfkjsdah god I love mass effect with my entire heart

- OLD LADY INFORMATION BROKER VOLUS WORKING OUT OF ILLIUM!!!! this is not a drill what the fUCK this is the coolest shit 

- fasdklhfsjkdalfhsdjk okay in Alec Ryder POV: “I don’t think [Cora] likes me very much.” Which probably meant she had good judgement. AFLSKJDHGJSDKF ALEC 

he has a weird flip-flopping sense of self -- he is uncompromisingly (one might even say... astoundingly arrogantly) secure in his own intellectual superiority and that most other people are idiots not to be trusted and that he needs to do things himself because others would mess it up, and yet there’s this clear seam of self loathing around basically everything else about himself too. (You know who he reminds me of, in a more military and less visibly anxious way? Rodney McKay. Alec Ryder is like a slightly unfortunate outcome for a McShep lovechild. I think we just figured out why I have sort of a soft spot for him even though he’s a certifiable dick lol) 

- this book really makes it hit home that cora grew up incredibly isolated and dirt poor. I’ve seen some people say her backstory is all sunshine and daisies compared to kaidan and especially jack’s, but honestly her background is complicated and fucked up enough that I’m just like ‘shit baby :(’ all the time

- well I have successfully solved the puzzle about whether alec ryder is an idealist or not; he absolutely is. a grouchy, bad-tempered one with no people skills, but an idealist nonetheless. alec ryder is in fact a storm of 150000 emotions in a trenchcoat, barely held in check by a thin fragile outer shell of iron lol, SAM was absolutely right to say that he was mostly governed by his feelings. (and I mean if anyone would know it’d be SAM I guess). I found some of it sort of sweet actually: he reflects in passing that one of the biggest reliefs of no longer being in the alliance is that he’ll never have to risk other people’s lives again. he fundamentally wants to build something good to help people live and be happy instead of destroying things. (he also is quite bad at predicting how other people could corrupt and use his innovations precisely to be destructive b/c he doesn’t think that’s the ~*logical*~ thing to do, so... y’know haha, maybe it’s good he went to another galaxy, the milky way could not contain his chaos) 

also he thinks a lot about his wife, even though she’s been dead for years at this point. o u c h (she truly does seem to have been a tether for him in so many ways though -- like a tie to the real world/normalcy/possibly sanity, and that’s a bit how he still evokes her)

additionally: alec ryder did fistfight at the very least one dude in the line of bureaucratic duty, and perhaps more, enough for SAM to have a list of warning signs ready and at hand jdfsklfhasdjf. he did, very much, throw a dude through a table. (at least it’s implied said dude was an asshole) I LOVE that alec’s SAM is  the snarkiest iteration we’ve seen and that he’s perfectly willing to call the old man out on his bullshit (alec stresses that SAM is supposed to do what he says at the end of the day, but his SAM is also less subservient and more willing to argue and discuss things than any other we get to see -- and this is of course the SAM Ryder inherits, but I don’t think SAM is as confident in being able to read the PC correctly until a bit further into the game and the twin is of course a different person who’ll respond to different things so he’s not quite as... blunt? I guess? in confronting them about things. (the whole concept is just! so! interesting!!) anyway I feel like all of this says something about alec’s parenting style, for better or for worse haha. he sort of tries to be authoritarian but his children (well canonically at least Sara, she references having yelled at him a lot over the years) aren’t afraid to fight back or scared of the consequences of disagreeing, so I get the distinct feeling his temper never flared violently like that with his family at all, I think he’s more prone to just pulling away in disapproval.) 

- I enjoy how casually diverse this book is  -- Jemisin has done such a good job making sure especially the human characters are from different backgrounds and places, as they would be lore-wise in the Mass Effect universe, though the games often skew unfortunately white. (andromeda much less so than the trilogy, though)   

- my heart. is so so soft for the fact that a huge reason for cora to join the initiative is how much she bonds with SAM-E. and I am so sad for her because she just wants someone or something who’ll stay, something that won’t disappear on her without closure like her parents; she’s so insecure and scared under her competence (and WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T SHE BE holy shit her parents just. weren’t there one day after she left home so she wouldn’t accidentally crush their ship with her untrained biotics and kill them all). and she chooses alec and his dream. and then alec goes and FUCKING DIES at the first opportunity Y____________Y alternate universe alec please drink your victor sullivan juice and survive, all these dumb children need you  

- I am so surprised about how much fond respect alec seems to have for cora and how quickly he developed it. I suppose he has a harder time with his own children because it’s closer to home? he is a complicated man lol, this last part of the book where he shows her the ark and everything is weirdly sweet. again I think he has the potential to be a good dad somewhere in there and that just makes it so much worse that he wasn’t. (also he staunchly considers himself still a married man. god help me) 

they’ve both grown to honestly love their sams T________T fml. (well alec has sort of bound up all of himself, the things he loves and their future in SAM, so it’s a bit more complicated but my point still stands) alec advocating for a consensual synthesis is very heartfelt and convincing; you really want to believe him.

cora seen through someone else’s eyes is also SO AMAZING!!! after this whole book in her head and she feels so flailing and uncertain and adrift and other people naturally view her completely differently. I especially like alec picking up on her not talking a lot. (I think this is why she responds so well to SAM, who’ll be there always and can be in her head. I wish this part of cora was more evident in the game, the fact that she has this sibling-like connection to SAM seems very important. sequel where both SAM and Ryder grow closer to becoming her actual family? please? I keep begging for ME:A2 into an empty aching void haha) 

- alec ‘I don’t have time to die’ ryder still talking about everyone else being idiots as he’s slowly catching fire while saving SAM fhdjfhsdlfhasdhlfsjd he is an asshole but it is hard not to stan 

- nO SAM-E D:D:D: oh well at least he’s still alive within SAM, in a way?

- hey. hey you know what’s fun. alec tries to use his last words and last thoughts to ask cora to tell the kids about ellen being alive this time too. haha. ha. fuck

he consistently goes out thinking of his family despite all his bullshit and I’m not okay

- CORA IS A PERFECT BODYGUARD/SECOND IN COMMAND AND I’M EMOTIONAL 

- alec is. surprisingly afraid to hurt people emotionally? he keeps putting off telling cora the bad news about SAM-E, to SAM’s stated disapproval lol (I must repeat again: I love SAM so so much). this supports my thesis that in his personal life he’s avoidant rather than confrontational/aggressive. (professionally... again, he did very much throw a man through a table) 

- man I hope we some day get SAM being this comfortably close and sarcastic with Ryder too. thinking about SAM-E and the small differences between him and uh SAM ‘prime’ it really must have been a huge thing for him too to become someone else, especially after the last person died like that. and he kind of has no choice but to experience that loss and death intimately. (now that I think about it that’s. fucked up, man. he literally felt alec go like it happened to himself.) 

If I were to summarize the differences between the SAMs we have seen, cora’s SAM-E seems younger, more exuberant, shyer and more -- what’s a non-shitty word for needy haha? it’s very firmly established that cora longs to feel needed, so this makes perfect sense. alec’s SAM is blunter, snarkier and more prone to questioning things, and hilariously is sort of alec’s emotional intelligence. (probably serves a similar role to what ellen used to, actually. ow) scott/sara’s SAM feels more worried/focused -- which also makes sense; he’s just experienced losing his person/pathfinder, in a real way he’s also recently orphaned and must be Extremely aware that he now has an enormous responsibility, not only what he was built for but for what remains of alec’s family. ...poor SAM 

(come to think of it I guess one vibe I get from in-game SAM is a little bit of ’harried and anxious yet loving and responsible uncle’ hahaha)

- so at this point alec knew cora could never be pathfinder after him, and he never told her. *accumulation of asshole points continues, though I suspect this might have come from a place of not wanting to hurt her again (b/c he’s the only one who has a right to know these important things amirite)* but I’m also strangely touched that the reason he’s hesitant to involve his children in the whole thing isn’t that he doesn’t have faith in them, it’s that he doesn’t want to burden their lives with something so heavy, a burden he created. can you just imagine... if this man had managed to take the time to explain himself, his motivations and his feelings to his children just once. just one fUCKING time. am I laughing am I crying I honestly don’t know

- this book makes me ache all over for the potential of Andromeda. and I don’t think it’s too late to salvage it either. I know a sequel probably won’t happen, at least not any time soon, but... *sits by rainy window like a wife wistfully wondering if her husband will return from sea*

[metalandmagi]

August Media Madness

Well, August may have sucked for me personally, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t keep track of all the media I consumed this month! And spoiler alert, I watched a lot of movies involving adorable talking bears. Although, I have a feeling that as soon as the fall television premieres start, I’ll be watching a lot less movies.

July’s media

Movies!

Dear Evan Hansen

Thank you bootlegs. This isn’t a movie, but I didn’t want to make a separate category for plays when I’ve only seen one this month. Anyway, if you haven’t heard of it, Dear Evan Hansen involves an incredibly anxious teenage boy who is tasked by his therapist to write motivational letters to himself. Unfortunately, Connor Murphy, an angsty boy who goes to Evan’s school sees one of the letters, takes it, and promptly decides to kill himself, with the letter still on his person. Everyone ends up thinking he and Evan were friends and that this letter was a suicide note that Connor wrote to Evan...and a beautiful fake gay relationship friendship was born. Call me basic as hell, but I’ve watched this show twice now, and listened to the soundtrack more times than I can count, and it’s turning into my favorite musical. There are so many important messages in it, and it takes you on a roller coaster of emotions. Every character does good and bad things, and no one is blameless or innocent...except maybe Zoe Murphy. If anything just listen to the soundtrack. 10/10

Night on the Galactic Railroad

Cats...on a mystical train...This seems like the kind of movie they would show you in film school. Very dull plot and characters with the themes being the main takeaway. What even is the plot of this movie? Darker, grittier, furry version of the Polar Express? Incredibly boring slightly more religious version of Over the Garden Wall? I just kept watching it because the main character looks like a cat version of Kagayama Tobio in middle school...cat-gayama. 4/10

Paddington

An adorable bear from South America travels to London and gets into all sorts of trouble with an English family. It’s very charming and sweet, and the aesthetic in this movie is on point, like Wes Anderson directed a children’s movie. This is one of those movies you hear about where everyone loves it, and you think it can’t possibly be that good, but then you watch it and you were wrong! So wrong! 10/10

Paddington 2

Naturally. This time an adorable South American bear goes to prison, and his family tries to clear his name. Again, A+ aesthetic and imagery, but I think I preferred the plot of the first movie a little more because everyone was all together. 9/10

Christopher Robin

Do you like Winnie the Pooh? Do you like jaded adults finding happiness in their lives again? Do you think the movie Hook had a good premise but was extremely long and kinda boring and could have been a better movie with a little tweaking? Well this is the movie for you! Christopher Robin has grown into an overworked adult, and his old friend Winnie the Pooh inadvertently helps him reconnect with his wife and daughter (and also his inner child) just by being the sweet, clumsy, dry humored bear we all know and love. I was so skeptical of this movie at first, and I was absolutely blown away by how funny and meaningful it was. 100/10

The Road to El Dorado

Two lovable Spanish con men named Miguel and Tulio are accidentally swept away on a journey to the fabled city of El Dorado, where everything is made of gold. Once they reach the city, the locals believe they’re gods due to an (un)fortunate series of coincidences, and the con men try to keep up the charade with the help of the best character in the movie, Chel (who I’m pretty sure caused an entire generation of lesbians’ sexual awakening). This is one of my favorite animated movies of all time and one of the reasons I wish Dreamworks would go back to their 2D animation days, where the visuals and music were just as stunning as 3D movies are now. This movie is a classic, and I desperately want a sequel! 10/10

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

When Lara Jean thinks it’s a good idea to write 5 secret love letters to 5 boys that she’s had crushes on over the years, everything is fine until her little sister mails the letters to all the boys (because even a 6th grader knows Lara Jean is lonely and emotionally stunted as fuck). This is a Netflix original movie that was adapted from the book by Jenny Han...which I haven’t read, but now I really want to. Overall, this was super cute, but I wasn’t really crazy about the boys. They weren’t horrible people or anything, and they never pressured Lara Jean or made fun of her for being “innocent”, but they were just kind of bland. I’m much more interested in the other boys we didn’t see in the movie! But the family relationships were so heartfelt, Lara Jean’s fashion sense is AMAZING, and the acting/casting was awesome. 8/10

Summer Wars

I...don’t even know how to describe the plot of this one. A teenage boy named Kenji goes on a country holiday and pretends to date an acquaintance of his in order to impress her enormous family...but it’s really about an AI that becomes sentient and wants to mess up the world through this universal internet program called OZ that’s kind of like a mashup of Facebook and Second Life...but actually no it’s about family sticking together and using a Japanese card game to save the world…but apparently it’s got the same plot as the Digimon movie because they’re both directed by Mamoru Hosoda. Yeah...

Guys, I have a confession to make...this has always been my favorite Mamoru Hosoda movie. Everyone falls all over themselves saying Wolf Children is the best Mamoru Hosoda movie, and that’s great for them but it doesn’t even come in second for me. Summer Wars means a lot more to me personally because I come from a big extended family, and when I first saw this movie, I was blown away by how accurate the family dynamic was. There are so many characters, but everyone has their own personality. Not to mention the music makes the summer atmosphere so on point. And I’m not going to lie...I bawled like a fucking baby the first time I saw this movie. So anyway, I like Summer Wars more than Wolf Children, thanks for coming to my TED talk. 10/10

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Unappreciated researcher Milo Thatch goes on an expedition to find the lost city of Atlantis.

Okay, there are two kinds of Disney fans in this world: Treasure Planet fans, and Atlantis fans. And I will support Treasure Planet as the best underrated vaguely steampunk inspired Disney movie until you can pry my 15 year old dvd copy away from my cold dead hands. But Atlantis is pretty good too. I could write essays comparing the two and why both of them should be successful but weren’t. My main problem with it is that the characters are great, but I feel like we don’t see enough of them, and as a kid a lot of the humor went by so fast that I completely missed it. Also the glowing eyes and spirits taking over the Atlantian princess’s body freaked me the fuck out as a child. NEVERTHELESS! This really is a great movie, with extremely well developed lore and well designed characters that chills me to this day. 8/10

Deadpool 2

The merc with a mouth is back, and man there’s so much going on in this movie I won’t even try to explain the plot. I literally had to go back and add this in because I was so into this movie when I was watching it that I forgot to write it down! Even though I really liked this sequel, I think I liked the first one better, just based on how much I laughed. There was so much going on plot wise, but it really seemed to work for this movie. There were also a lot of great new characters (Domino is my favorite character of the franchise now), but since there was so much stuff going on, a lot of jokes and plot lines were sort of hit and miss. Anyway, I’m sure everyone’s seen this one by now but just in case, I highly recommend it. 9/10

Books!

The Adventure Zone Graphic Novel: Here There be Gerblins by Clint McElroy (technically all the McElboys) and Carey Pietsch

Yeah yeah, for anyone who doesn’t know I’m Adventure Zone trash okay. TAZ is a DnD podcast where 3 brothers and their father create one of the most famous campaigns in history involving three idiot adventurers going on a quest to find a missing person and getting sucked into a much larger grand plan to protect the world. This graphic novel is a visualization of the first arc. I don’t even really like Here There be Gerblins all that much, and yet here I am. Oh well, the art was amazing, and of course I already knew the story. But it was kind of hilarious to see the name changes they had to make to some of the characters and places. I was a little disappointed that the ending was so rushed, and we don’t really spend time around the moon base before The Director is in our face changing the Lunar Interlude parts but whatever. 10 dead gerblins/10

The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken

When a disease that only affects children kills off nearly all the kids on the planet, the survivors are left with supernatural powers and are taken away to concentration camps in order to “protect” the public. I’ve been wanting to read this for a long time, and since the movie just came out I thought it was the perfect time. This is one of those books that some people adore and some people hate. I thought it was just okay. For everything that I didn’t like, there was something to make up for it. Personally, I felt that Bracken focused on the wrong part of the story. Everything takes place years after this disease has come, and I think it would have been more interesting to see everything from the children’s points of view when this disease was first starting. I would focus on each different character as a child and how they wound up in their respective camps. Oh well, there’s way too many pros and cons  that I could delve into, but you like the YA dystopian genre then I say go for it. I didn’t like it enough to read the other two books (not yet anyway). 7/10

TV Shows!

Camp Camp

You know how there are summer camps that specialize in science, or acting, or space, or whatever? Yeah Camp Camp is about a summer camp that throws literally everything you can think of into one summer camp. If you don’t believe me, just listen to the theme song. Seriously though this is one of the best shows I’ve watched all year, but boy howdy this is not one for young children. It’s like Gravity Falls and Rick and Morty had a baby! Anyway, the characters are both surprising and hilarious. David the camp counselor (voiced by Miles Luna) is genuinely likable when you think he’d be the most annoying person on the planet, and the kids are so accurate it’s scary. Also Yuri Lowenthal is in it. And Griffin McElroy has a recurring role where he plays A GHOST! I’ve never been into Rooster Teeth stuff, but they have a winner with this one. 10/10

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

After her husband leaves her, Midge Maisel gets super drunk, goes on stage, and gives a hilarious rant about her relationship at a small comedy/talent club and somehow gets sucked into becoming a rising comedian as a woman in the 1950s. It’s good. Great acting pretty funny, but Midge and her agent/manager Susie are the only likable characters. Everyone else just kind of...sucks 8/10

Voltron Season 7 (spoilers)

Okay, I know everyone had mixed feelings about this season, but I did come out liking a lot of it. It had a lot of flaws (I really thought it would be Shiro’s season, and man was I wrong), but this is the sort of thing we can’t really judge until the last episode of the series is finished. I like to think of the positives: the action was amazing as usual, HUNK IS GETTING MORE AND MORE DEVELOPMENT EVERY SEASON, I refuse to believe the team introduced Adam just to have him killed off immediately so he’s still alive in my mind, we get to see everyone’s reunions with their families, the lost in space episode was cool, and say what you want about the game show episode, but I loved it! There were a lot of good things so it was easier for me to look past the...not so great aspects of the season. 7/10

Galavant

A musical comedy mini series involving a renowned medieval hero named Galavant on a quest to rescue his ex girlfriend from her “evil” husband King Richard. But maybe she doesn’t want to be rescued. Well, that’s just the first season. It’s best to go in knowing as little as possible. I remember liking it when it first came out, and it’s still pretty cute...but sometimes I feel like it’s trying too hard. A lot of the music isn’t really...memorable, but the characters are likable so it’s still worth the watch. 8/10

Disenchantment

Speaking of medieval comedies...Princess Bean doesn’t want to get married, mystical elf Elfo doesn’t want to live in an enchanted forest where everyone is happy all the time, and Bean’s personal demon Luci just wants to watch people suffer. Honestly, I wasn’t very into this show at first, but something compelled me to just keep watching, and by the end I was totally into it! This is one of those shows where you think there isn’t going to be a plot, but then the last few episodes come up and smack you in the face! 7.5/10

Round Planet

A documentary parody...mockumentary...satire...That’s really not a great way to describe it. It’s a nature documentary with funny commentary. I like nature shots and animals so I liked it, but there’s a lot of tangents and running jokes and British references that sometimes don’t land. Oh well, if you like unconventional documentaries, just watch it. 8/10

Honorable Mentions

DnDnD: I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this podcast before, but there’s a DnD podcast made by Practical Folks (aka the Drunk Disney youtube channel). It’s pretty good! I want an Adventure Zone crossover now!

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: Every time I think I’m out, it pulls me back in. I finally got the DLC and spent most of this month playing this freaking game AGAIN!

The Heathers soundtrack: I finally listened to the Heathers musical soundtrack...and I didn’t love it. There are some good songs in it, but overall I’m unimpressed. And I never could really get into the plot, I’ve always thought it was really weird and over dramatic.

Legendary by Stephanie Garber: I’m about halfway through this book, which is the second in the Caraval series. And it’s pretty good! More on that next month.