#anyway just me rambling about health
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zellk · 8 months ago
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Forgot to share here.... old doodles of when I finally came around to finding a design I like for Qalaari's mom !!
#it's so fucking funny to me that i inadvertently gave her a variant of the “mom about to die” haircut because... well...#surprise... she did die when Qalaa was young (12) :'^)#Qalaa (now between 20 and 22) still hasn't gotten over it#her mom had really weak health and really shouldn't have had a child but she made her choice#it turned out to be not the best one for her health LMAO#who wouldve thunk#but hey she wanted it and i'm pretty sure she doesn't regret it#but well... Qalaa does feel like she was a participant in her mom's death#(the other participant being her biological father who ran away before she was born and shattered aamira's heart)#ANYWAYS#i love qalaa's messed up familly#it's like a regular messed up story where actually no one (and everyone) is to blame (except Qalaa lmao she asked for NOTHING)#Aaamira gave so so much love to her child ;;;;;; this built the unbreakable core of Qalaa's kindness#aamira#aamira croquelune#aamira molandine#croquelune#still thinking about making that potentiel small DnD 'lore addon' of Qalaa's village that you can take and plug in your very own campaign#as long as you have 'far from civilization' woods or mountains you can put them in there#a village that welcomes the 'monsters' and the cast out#(like aamira)#look at me rambling in the tags lmao i just love qalaari (& her background) so much#last thing tho : you have to understand that Aamira is small and very slight and Qalaari was a HUGE baby and is a really big girl overall
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turtleblogatlast · 8 months ago
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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.
Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.
Long-winded interpretation under the cut!
Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.
You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)
The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.
Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.
And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.
For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.
“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)
So, where does this leave us?
It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!
Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.
To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.
And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.
Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.
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chaosinstigator · 2 months ago
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“why am i losing followers” *talks about daniel like he’s dead and buried*
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leezuhh · 2 years ago
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it's crazy to me that there are people out there who still think that media and fiction do not affect how people think at all
#like that whole 'does fiction affect reality?' debate is so stupid to me cuz it's like#i mean just think about it for a second. what is propaganda? what did jaws do for people's perceptions of sharks?#i think studying the effect that popular media and fiction has on people in real life is really interesting#and it's crazy to me that there are people on the internet who think that it genuinely doesn't#like umm shoutout vit sisler for his paper 'digital arabs' i just read it for my game studies class and it's super interesting#about like orientalization how western shooter games' usage of middle eastern/muslim stereotypes as enemies created both a negative -#- stereotype for people who arent in that group and how it negatively affects the mental health and self-image of the people who are#also shoutout stuart hall and richard dyer they're really cool people and also have some super interesting papers on how representation -#- in media affects people's IRL perceptions of certain groups#i know online this focus tends to lean on that whole shipping discussion but i think it's more worthwhile to look at it on a wider scale#because 'does fiction affect reality?' is not just a 'fandom ship war' discussion it's like. the basis for many fields of study#anyways umm#liza post#actually this is more like a#liza ramble#i love tumblr bc i can write a one sentence post and put my body paragraphs in the tags#it's really late and i am tired ‼️ i wish i could be more concise i just adore my game studies class and visual culture studies in general
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batfossil-fr · 7 months ago
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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shiraishi--kanade · 16 days ago
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At this point my blocked blogs list on this blog is extemely extensive and if anyone approaches me asking why I've blocked them the answer is 99% likely to be because you thought it appropriate to talk about your trauma on 10 notes personal post rb.
I mean it's weird how this keeps happening, but I think people need to develop some sort of etiquette cause what the hell.
This is a rb website, sure! You can do whatever you want. Except I can see your reblogs and read everything you say even if I don't want to because who would even consider turning notifications off on a post they didn't think anyone would rb with that, let alone rb in general? "Talking in tags" rules don't apply to posts like that.
Unless you are initiating a conversation with me specifically, I don't need to hear how depressed you've been in my notifications out of nowhere when I don't even know you. You're not talking into a void like you would on a 10k note post, you're all but yelling into my face. Have some semblance of courtesy and understand how this website works. Or else I'll whack you away with a block. Final warning.
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queenofbaws · 8 months ago
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i will not stand here and say the quarry's writing is perfect by any means, but man. that moment. in the beginning. when chris absolutely loses his shit and you see every last one of the hacketteers freeze..............shocked, wide-eyed, so taken aback they don't move even to look at each other.............
and then, realizing what just happened, chris scrambles frantically to grab hold of the situation again. he tries to grin at ryan ("tries" being the keyword), he tosses him the keys like nothing's wrong. he tries to go back to being mr. h - he does, he tries so hard - and finally when ryan talks to him, there's what waver in his voice. that absolute lack of understanding in his eyes. ryan's not just surprised, he's not just shocked......for a second there, he is scared, and chris sees that, realizes it, and peels out of there before anyone can say anything else. just.....
JUST............
i think that moment is 100% the moment i realized UH OH I THINK I LOVE CHRIS HACKETT because that's when we see the counselors have been around this guy for two whole months (some of them even longer, possibly), and not once. not once!!!!!!!!!!! had they realized who he really was.
ugh. UGH. i LOVE IT.
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throughpatchesofviolet · 9 days ago
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I'll have these moments where I am calm, collected, and feel like I can, in fact, complete all of the tasks I've set out for myself, and then I'll get home and completely lose all that motivation.
#I'm not sure why that is though ... is it the chores? being around other people? the clutter?#I am going to go home and work on cleaning up a bit of my room though ... that's my plan#also I need to pick out a dinner to make next week--and also maybe we'll watch the show we missed yesterday#and give Plushcliff a kissie#I have some things I want to do but maybe I should focus on improving my personal space (my room) first ...#I actually started eating an apple every day and that has helped a lot--crazy how fruits and veggies improve mental health /lh#and if you get this far ... the funniest thing is I used to HATE apples#absolutely loathed them#and then I headcanoned that Heathcliff cuts up fruit (I wrote about it a lot in an unreleased fic I was writing for myself)#and I decided he really likes apples for some reason ... so recently I actually ate an entire serving of an apple dessert I HATED#and was just steaming internally because THIS FICTIONAL MAN HAS ME EATING A FRUIT I HATE#AND I LIKE IT#AND IT'S MAKING ME HAPPY#HOW *DARE* HE#/lh /lh#I don't talk a lot about how he helps me but maybe I should ... he's made food a lot easier for me#ALSO I have opinions about him and food that are very special to me#I just get shy because. Heathcliff is the character I project onto the most and I see him having a lot of the struggles I do#in things like food and stuff--also my opinions on his gender/orientation would get me flamed /lh /lh#well. that may just be my past experiences talking. just know those areas are very important to me when it comes to him#anyway!!#got very rambly near the end of this ... eat fruit okay? it'll help you#scattered pages
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goldkirk · 9 months ago
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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crows-of-buckets · 11 days ago
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Okay this may be me just overthinking things to an insane degree but is anyone else like. Very concerned about future griffons.
Because!!!! They're all siblings!!! How are there going to be future generations? Will there even be future generations??? The gene pool bioware. How are we fixing that one. Please it has been driving me up the wall since last flight it's bad 😭😭
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insufferablemod · 5 months ago
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hheeeyyyy heyyyy go check out this song im very normal about yall B)
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chocolate-cream-soldier · 2 months ago
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//
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landfilloftrash · 1 year ago
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If I told you there was a series of games created before I was born, developed by Capcom, and that I was obsessed with a pairing of middle aged men within; The pairing being comprised of a someone around a decade or so older than the younger, lighter colored hair, stern and serious with a very deadpan sense of humor, along with “this is my job. I shall do it perfectly” demeanor about his work— very cat-coded in general, if you can think it, it will most probably apply— and the younger being very a determined brunette with firm morals who goes toe to toe with the older man and is frequently one of the only ones who can do so with their hell-bent insistence to do good and defend those who cannot, no matter the cost, who is quite dog-coded in reverse. They spend a few years in each other’s company, learning about each other (even if it’s at a distance and professionally) and then. Something happens. The older one of the pair betrays the brunette — his strings being pulled by a higher power, but it does not excuse him— and in the process reveals a cowardly and vengeful side after the event, causing the entirety of the franchise we play to happen. And then only a bit later in the storyline, one murdered the other, in cold but passioned blood, because destiny deemed it this way and they only heed the call of it. And whether or not it was intentional, leaving said murdered man’s child an orphan completely alone in the world as a side effect. For years after the event, they are satisfied with what happened, if burdened by guilt. But they were right to do so, weren’t they? They proceed to be metaphorically haunted by the man they killed for the rest of their life, however. And that will come to a head for them.
Now… am I talking about Chrisker (Chris Redfield/Albert Wesker), or Shingou (Mitsurugi Shin/Karuma Gou) ?
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cryptic-queer-cryptid · 1 year ago
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look. not to get sappy on main but like.
call it cringe call it silly call it whatever you want but do you know what it felt like to be a depressed teenager and hear the doctor say “do you know, in 900 years of time and space, i’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before”?
cause let me tell you, hearing that… there are whole years of my life that i barely remember because of my depression. chunks of my time on earth that i’ll probably never get back. but i do remember watching that damn special because it meant something to me, even in that fog.
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zishuge · 9 months ago
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Oooof Tushan Jing being the younger brother who is world-renowned as an elegant and accomplished scholar and musician, who ends up being locked up in a dungeon and tortured for years by a jealous older brother who then throws him out into the street to die, and tells him, "Without your fancy clothes and without your noble status you're nothing".
"Qingqiu-gongzi is just a joke."
God this is 1000000% exactly what Shan Gudao would've done to Li Xiangyi if he had had the chance and now I badly want to read that fic.
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cloudcountry · 8 months ago
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guys im so sorry depression and evil thoughts have been kicking my ass again and ive come to the realization that i will always have to live with them. not fun but i am going to sleep now so hopefully i feel better in the morning.
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