#anyway im sorry all my updates are fucking depressing lmao

[speargifted]

//idk how many more things can go wrong - my computer isnt working and idk when the wifi will be set up because of some issues

But we did get my ps5 setup! So i think im just gonna play xvi myself or we'll finish rising tide finally

We leave on Thursday for a wedding and get back on the monday and that was when I was planning to come off hiatus but,,, i guess we'll see how long it takes to fix my pc

[gunmetal-ring]

anon again. i'm sorry that i keep coming to you with this depressing messages but you seem like one of the few sane ppl in this fandom and i appreciate your honesty.

truth is im feeling really disillusioned with hellcheer lately. we don't have a lot of "canon" content so after a while, it gets tiring going thru the same 2 scenes over and over again (especially when one of them involves chrissy's death). ive been relying on fandom but it seems like it's slowed down. fics arent updated as frequently, not a lot of new artwork.

heck, even joe and grace have moved on. joe's career is taking off. grace is leaving acting. it just feels like everything that happened last summer has come to an end :(

Aw anon thats okay. Ty for thinking of my feelings though 💓 (and also im flattered that you think im sane lmao)

Unfortunately its the way things go, especially with small ships, especially especially in a fandom as hostile as this one is. People come together and build community and share their love for characters and then g(r)o(w) their separate ways again.

But not everybody does! You and me, for example. And ive got plenty of hellcheer mutuals that seem perfectly content to draw, write, and rb their little hearts out.

I for one am absolutely astounded that theres even a fandom for hellcheer, let alone one with such talent and breadth and depth of love! Our characters had 2 scenes. Our girl was killed just as it all began. Our boy died with her name on his lips. In all likelihood we will never see them together on our screens again.

But somehow. Those ~10 minutes managed to foster an entire community of people and keep us engaged and in love w the characters for almost a year at this point! With no dangling promises or false hope or anything! Like we all know the score and we still go hard for hellcheer. Incredible.

Idk maybe it's just bc ive only had brainworms like this for 2 other ships and 1 of them is even smaller and the other one is a clusterfuck of unimaginable proportions, so im a little biased in terms of community/fandom, but im just like... idk. I think its really incredible thats all. And a testament to the very real power and truth of hellcheer 🥰

All i can say anon is that the best way to keep a fandom/ship going is engagement. Likes on tumblr and kudos on ao3 are great. But whats even better and more motivating (and i say this as a fic writer/meme shitposter so im speaking the total truth lol) is reblogs and comments. Tell people how much you love their work and how much it means to you, it goes a very long way. And on the flip side of that - stay out of the infighting. All it does is sap your mental energy and the fandom infighting bullshit is a major contributor to why people leave. The negativity and bitterness warp your perspective and make it really hard to remember what we're here for - it's not anti-st*ddie or anti-qu*nn stans or anti-anti-hellcheer or what the fuck ever. We're here for hellcheer!

Sorry my $0.02 is now $2.00 bc i ramble lol its a fatal flaw of mine. Anyway im sorry if this is annoyingly positive or dismissive but im in a strangely upbeat mood rn so there you have it

[bellysoupset]

SOUP!!!!!!!

HI HI HI HI I CANT EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOURE BACK!!! oh my goodness i was literally typing this when i saw that you asked where i’ve been💀 i’ve been reading fics as you post them (i don’t have notifs on but i check your blog for updates on a regular basis LMAO) but life shtuff has only now died down enough for me to actually write/comment on things!! gosh i’m so excited you’re back!! in the LEAST pressure-y way, it’s almost embarrassing how slowly days went by as i was waiting for you to start posting again LOL like at one point i was telling myself “okay she said 20 days, it’s probably been at least a week”. it had been literally 3 days 💀 HAHAHAHWH

ANYWAYS

AHHHHHH MY BABIES MY BABIES!!!!! i don’t remember what the last thing i talked about on here was but WOW these last fics have made me cry and laugh and blush sooo many different times!! wen finding out was CRAZY and i literally sobbed w her bc the way everything played out was so unfortunate but also so realistic and raw and i had so many mixed feelings about everything!!!! and then wen isolating and bella checking on her!! and wen trying to push her away and then admitting that she felt so lonely GOD THAT WAS DEVASTATING but then bella being so supportive and comforting AGHHHH my girlsss <3333

and then omg the fic after that one??? i was SO surprised that wen forgave vin? and that they’re trying long distance??? i’m so fucking excited and happy abt that but god i’m sure it’ll be hard 😭 but YAY I KNEW THEY LOVED EACH OTHER TOO MUCH TO GIVE UP LIKE THAT ♥️

side note, luke being so depressed and struggling so much to adapt to his meds is so sad but so realistic too :,) i’m glad you’re making this a part of the plot!! but my man is def off his meds already lol im interested to see where this goes!! and also i LOVE how well jon and leo are doing <3 despite everything going on, they’re in their happy era fr <3

and now i’m sorry but the sick vin fic?????????? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT WAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED AND MORE‼️ first off, leo talking to him and being so real but also like calling him out like that??? while still being super supportive??? and the way he described wen was so accurate and so him-coded??? and then AHHHHH i’ve ALWAYS loved vin and bell’s friendship, i’ve genuinely always thought it was super adorable and i wanted more of them, so this fic was gold 🤭 a trope that ALWAYS gets me is when someone is ANGRY at someone they love and ofc being bitchy and sassy until they realise said someone is very much Unwell (it’s especially good if they’re so sick that they’re really out of it), and when they realise how sick they are they IMMEDIATELY switch from mad to concerned + caretaker mode!!!! so yeah you can imagine this whole fic had me on my knees 🤭 obsessed w how protective of luke bell is, and how protective of vin wen is, but also how both girls just jumped straight into action when he was clearly not feeling good <333 and then vin realising wen was using her dr. voice, and then the pure ANGST at the end when he sobs and they just hug and the “god i’m gonna fucking miss you” SOB SOB SOB SOB 😭😭😭🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

bell sick and luke taking care of her was also AMAZINGGGG🫶🏽 i always love when my girls get whumped <3333 omg and AHHHH luke and vin finally talking abt shtuff🥹 the “nothing to forgive” 😭 luke knowing he’ll get sick AND holding him closer??? GOSH THE BROTP MAN !!!!!

and oh my goodness i just read the most recent fic with the new OC!!!! this is so exciting and cool and i love his vibes ahhhh <3 i love how nonchalant max seems abt shtuff and im so so excited to see where things go!! i hope vin and him become friends but also i feel like there’s gonna be some tension and weird banter going on between them at least at first hehehe

ANYWAYS

your writing is fucking incredible and whenever i see a new post from your blog it genuinely lights up my day <3 i am completely in love with all your characters and the depth and intricacies behind each of them ♥️ i’m so thankful your blog exists🫶🏽 also, i saw you were really struggling for a while and i just wanted to check in and see if you were doing better? you’re so loved and talented and appreciated and you deserve all the peace and love and happiness in the world!!! i hope things are going well/better!

i can’t wait to read more of what you write! i’m super excited about this new character and about reading more stories abt your lovely OCs <3

YOU’RE AMAZING THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND KEEP SLAYING!!!

🦦

Soup found DEAD from love cardiac arrest outside of Miami beach.

🦦!!!!! Honestly I don't even wanna post your comments, I just wanna stare at them for hours 🙈🙈

Don't worry about catching up on fics, they'll be here when life slows down!! I know very well how sad it is that we must Adult ™.

I am SO HAPPY you liked the Wendy/Vince developments!! In my head you're like THE Wendy/Vin supporter, so every time I write something with them I'm like "uhmmm wonder what 🦦 is gonna think??"

Caretaker who's pissed and then switches to comfort is also one of my favorite tropes, I looooove the spiciness of guilt thrown in!

Take care babe 💛💛

[kittycatcarla]

fuck it games i played update post

tonight was just Chicory? i think? yeah

i wanted to play mc as well but i got so into chicory that i didnt have time

anyway spoilers for Chicory under cut

(also storytime and screenshots; at the end a little analysis about parallels between chicory and hollow knight)

ok so screenshots first(there's a lot of them)

ok so first of all i managed to diagnose the bug that made it so my cursor would randomly snap to the bottom-right for a single frame. playing in windowed mode seems to solve it. not ideal, but at least drawing isnt as frustrating

^ thanks for the reddit gold trash kind stranger!

^ hullo! ^-^

^ it's shit but i wanted to show off the holey design i made

^ the facial expressions of everyone lmao

^ still dont really know who the vandal is. anyway butts ehehe

^ I'm sorry but Nintendon't won't show mercy for that

^ her face expression (again) lmao

^ ace icon? or gay icon? queer icon nonetheless (yes that there is a very crude attempt at drawing little ghost)

^ love him (disregard the paintings)

^ somebody's horny on main

^ POTATO

^ Horn't shirt

^ ok fuck you game given the tools given and my skill level im actually kinda proud of what i managed to do fuck you (<2)

^ I forgot to make screenshots with the other lines related to this but... fuck i relate to chicory so much. The impostor syndrome. the self-hatred. except that im actually shit compared to what she canonically does but like. That only made what she did to Cupcake (idk i named my character like that. They asked for food it's not my fault) hit even harder on me. I am talentless. I do have no experience. But fuck you (<2) for being so relatable to me specifically and for making me see myself in both characters

^ why, hello there

Ok now i shorter analysis of connections between Chicory and Hollow Knight (maybe also Celeste?) cause it's 1AM and I'm kinda tired

(spoilers for both games)

(also have in mind that i still havent finished chicory)

Ok i first of all find really interesting the theme and the title of both chicory and hk. The title represents a character. Not hte playable character like in other games, but the final Boss, or at least the (apparent) source of Bad in the world. Granted i do no know for sure the final boss of chicory. and technically hk isnt the final boss of hk. I wouldnt be surprised if the final boss in chicory is my own depression. But that's beside the point.

Both characters, Chicory and Hollow, were left with immense responsibilities upon their shoulders. And both of them failed due to mental roadblocks. Because there was nobody to help them. Because they were supposed to be the best. And while they were extremely skilled, they became their own enemy. This caused in both cases, Corruption. Now, in one case it's the manifestation of a literal god that acts like a hivemind. In the other it's the negative thoughts of someone wielding a tool with pretty much godly powers. Same thing really.

Moreover, this Corruption manifests itself onto the entire land (we do not take into account the exceptions in HK and the possible exceptions in Ch. once again, i havent finished the latter). And it is in the hands of the player, representing somebody that was cast out, rejected by the ones they looked up to, but in the end becoming the best out of everyone, to fix it all.

The point is i dont know. But im excited to see how the plot of Ch unfolds

(also the idea i had about celeste was how Madeline and Chicory are in similar situations with their mental health. But unlike Madeline, Chicory does not accept any outside help, nor does she seek help herself (at least not yet)) (yeah this idea has even less sense now. disregard it if you will)

[uselessundertalefacts]

This is a (sort of) fanfic for that one comic where gaster is very mean by the artist whose name starts with Z

More or less an extended version of this. Warning for vague discussion of abuse and trauma.

StrongFish91 likes a post from 20XX:

(pic of Alphys)

W. D. Gaster likes this.

———

Papyrus: HEY ALPHYS

I DIDNT KNOW YOU KNEW THE OLD ROYAL SCIENTIST?

Alphys: ……yeah i did :/

i had NO idea what he was doing, he never told anyone anything

im so sorry you can unfriend me if you want x.x

Papyrus: IT’S FINE

I JUST NEVER KNEW HE HAD UNDERNET

HE DIDNT SEEM LIKE A VERY SOCIAL MONSTER

Alphys: he wasn’t really???

i helped him set up his profile actually

so we could chat more easily and stuff

he didn’t use it a lot… just commented on other people’s posts

are you mad at me? im really sorry

Papyrus: NO

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THIS

———

CoolSkeleton95 updated status: Taking a break from UN for now.

ALPHYS commented: hope youre doing ok ^^

StrongFish91 commented: Come back soon punk!!!! OR whenever you’re ready.  I’ll text you!!!!

———

Sans: hey i saw your UN post?

u doin ok?

Papyrus: yeah

Just need to take a break

Sans: okay

is anything going on?

Papyrus: No.

sans: lmao sure

Papyrus: Just leave it Sans.

I’m sorry. That was rude.

Sans: it’s fine just

you kind of… always say that when you’re upset

and I try to help and you get mad at me

so can you be honest with me pls

?

Papyrus: I don’t want to get into an argument.

sans: ….oh

so it’s about /him/?

…did you turn off your phone

welp

screw you too then I guess

———

sans: so im never gonna have kids but if russ ever has them im gonna use my brotherly authority to make their middle names foo bar and baz

sans: thats a programming joke

sans: al please clap alphys: ASJKFHKAJHSDKJ

sans: thanks for the pity al.

alphys: NO ITS GOOD

alphys: how is papyrus anyway? saw he’s taking a break from undernet sans: not talking to me lol

sans: i think he’ll be ok its probably just old stuff

alphys: yeah……

alphys: so please dont be mad but

alphys: he saw some of my old UN posts that your dad liked

alphys: and he asked me about them today so maybe thats whats bothering him?

alphys: im sorry i never told you but we used to be friends sort of. well he was my boss and i thought he was cool i swear i didnt know what kind of person he really was until after he died

alphys: ill delete all those posts he liked. i just feel so bad i hope papyrus is ok

alphys: are you ok?

alphys: are you still there? fuck im so sorry

sans: im still here. dont worry about it

sans: i was looking up his profile. looks like a cool guy lol

sans: kinda reminds me of papyrus and me

alphys: NO youre nothing like him!

sans: gtg im gonna talk to papyrus.

sans: im not mad at you

alphys: ok take care….. <3

———

dear papyrus,

writing this on paper because im 99% sure you turned off your phone.  but i know you’re in your room.  i saw you let the dog in.  you dont have to talk to me right now but please at least read this.

alphys told me about what happened earlier. i looked at his profile too. i saw his comments. alphys said she thought he was cool and i sorta get why, if he talked and acted like you.

but youre not like him. youd never hurt someone on purpose. youre not arrogant and youre not cruel.

honestly, im more like him than you are. he used to say that all the time. he said i’d understand why he did all that to us one day. must have been a real idiot if he thought i understood him better than you did.

im gonna shove this under your door.  ill be in my room when youre ready to talk. or you can text me.

love, sans (corny but true)

————

papyrus: Thanks for the letter.

papyrus: Please don’t think of yourself that way.  You’re not like him at all.

sans: oh dang that was fast. thought you wouldn’t talk to me for at least another day lol

papyrus: Can we just drop this for now?

sans: sure thing.

sans: youre not mad at alphys are you? she means well

papyrus: I’m not mad. But I also don’t want to talk about this anymore.

papyrus: And I just sent you a letter.

sans: awwww for me?

papyrus: You can keep it if you want.

sans: ...

sans: you can have it

------

My name is Papyrus.  I am a skeleton who lives in Snowdin with my brother, Sans.

Sans and I were created and raised by W. D. Gaster.  He used us for experiments with magic.  He died when we were still young.

Gaster and I have some things in common.

He used all-caps while typing, like I do.  He would focus on small pursuits for long periods of time without breaks, just like I get absorbed in my puzzles.  Many people liked him.

This does not mean that we are exactly the same.  I would never do what he did.

Gaster also had some things in common with Sans.  They both loved mathematics and physics.  Both of them often felt depressed.  Many people loved and supported Gaster, and many people love and support Sans.

Gaster thought they were the same, but they could never be the same.  Sans is too kind, too compassionate, to be anything like Gaster.  Even when we fight, it’s clear how much he cares about me.

We are better people than Gaster ever was.  And we can help each other be even better if we support and love each other.

Love, Papyrus

(P.S. Sans I didn’t write this for you at first, but I want you to see it.) (P.P.S. I’ll start writing in all-caps again eventually.)

[jawnjendes]

the fog will clear up | shawn mendes

chapter 13/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: sry its short and definitely a filler im sry its boring but it helps build up stuff thatll happen next ok ok im sry

*let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist

Annalise woke with a start. She was wide awake immediately. There was no room for sleepily rolling around the sheets, her eyes weren't heavy like always. She didn't know what dying and coming back to life felt like, but she was pretty sure it felt something like that. She had a weird urge to go for a jog.

Staring at the ceiling, Annalise reached towards the nightstand next to her, intending to grab her phone. Her hand touched the bottle, and she picked it up anyway, reading the prescription label.

Annalise Flores SERTRALINE 50MG TABLET Brand name: Zoloft

"You don't waste anytime, huh?" she murmured before setting it back down. Then, she grabbed her phone and checked the time.

8:47am. A new fucking record. Annalise rolled out of bed, unable to stay still.

In the 2 hours she had to kill before work, she tidied up the dorm, ate a decent breakfast, took a shower, and got started on the course work she had to make up. The energy levels were through the roof, she had never been so on edge and productive at the same time. Why wasn't she put on sertraline sooner? Sure, she felt hyperaware and borderline anxious, but that was apart of the process of getting on a new antidepressant. She was getting things done this way. Sure, she jumped when the lock on the door jiggled, but she was up and running anyway!

If she wasn't, she wouldn't have seen Stella entering the dorm. She was surprised to see Annalise on the couch, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Oh… I thought you were asleep. I'll, uh, I'll come back."

"No, wait!" Annalise sounded a little too frantic, but it did stop Stella from leaving. "Uh, come sit down! Please!"

Stella narrowed her eyes slightly as she went to the couch. At least she was willing to listen.

"I, uh, I'm sorry," Annalise began, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry for what I said. A stupid guy isn't the only good in my life. I have you. You matter to me, and I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't." She really couldn't stop herself from rambling. "I miss you. I miss seeing you here between classes, and I miss your optimism because a bitch could use some of that. And, and I'm sorry for the negativity I've brought in here. I'm working on it now, I swear. Just… come back. Come home… because bro, you're my wife, dude."

It could have been funny, but there was nothing funny about the way she said it. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and she was rubbing her hands together. Stella merely blinked her hazel eyes, nearly overwhelmed by that string of words.

"Look at you, expressing your emotions," she said after a while. "I can see why you hold it back."

Annalise nodded rapidly. "It's my first day on a new medication. Got me all sorts of hyped up, but I'll mellow out in a couple of weeks. And I'm taking therapy seriously again!"

Stella was surprised. "Oh, I see. Well… I've missed you too. Bro…"

"Bro?"

"I'll come home too. Camila's bed is too small for the two of us."

"Bro…"

"I know. I have to update you on all that."

"Br-"

"Okay!" Stella broke out a smile and stood up. "Dame un abrazo, puta."

That was much easier than Annalise had anticipated. She stood up and hugged her best friend, relieved. Stella wasn't one to hold a grudge, nor was she as stubborn as her roommate. It was another person to cross off the list.

~

Shawn had social media mainly to get his music out there. Yes, he interacted with his friends on Snapchat, and some fans on Twitter. Most of the time, Shawn just tweeted when he had new music coming out. He didn't check any of his social media very often, not even to stalk Ann's accounts because she was rarely on her's. He didn't even have his notifications on, purely to keep himself from the possibility of getting too attached to the opinions of random strangers online.

That was why he woke up that morning to a number of texts from Camila.

"SHAAWWNWNN"

"SHAWN IM LKTERSLLY BALD RN"

"CHEKC UR TWITTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

"YOIR FOLLOWERS!!! AAHSKSKSK"

"SKSKSK SHAWNMM IM SCRAMING"

So to Twitter he went. Shawn rubbed sleep out of his eye as he went to his profile. He had around 10k to begin with, that he built up on his own over the last couple of years. He nearly dropped his phone on his face as he read the new number.

50.2k

"What… the fuck?" he breathed out as he sat up in his bed. He scrolled through the list, making sure this wasn't a series of spam bots.

His mentions were just as wild, and it explained the sudden blow up.

@hollaestor: @shawnmendes hiii bella told me to follow you

@samxriv: @shawnmendes i am free to hang out on tuesday to hang out when i am free

@gisellenjh: @shawnmendes bella sent me here and im glad she did! loving your music!

And there were plenty more like that. There were so many tweets, Shawn couldn't even get through all of them. It was making his head spin. There was only one Bella he knew about too… He just couldn't spell her last name. Thankfully, her handle was just @bellasanti, and it was the first one to pop up when he typed it in the search bar.

Right under Bella Santiago's name and the blue checkmark were the two little words: Follows you. Shawn refreshed the page ten times before it sank in. This YouTuber, who has over 2 million followers, somehow found Shawn's music… and she liked it. She liked it enough to tweet about it… 3 days ago.

@bellasanti: underrated spotify artists: @shawnmendes. give him a listen. send him some love. truly talented guy💖

Shawn had only overheard Bella's videos when Ann was watching them in the other room. He never really watched any of her content. But he wanted to pass out at the fact that she took the time to listen to his music and tweet about him. He wanted to jump on the bed. He wanted to call-

He texted Camila back. "Wtf why did no one tell me sooner?? This is so crazy!!!!!"

"We thought you knew and you were keeping it from us!! LMAO congrats rockstar!"

He couldn't believe it. His follower count was rising. He was getting emails from Spotify saying his songs were being added to many different playlists.

@shawnmendes: @bellasanti wow thank you so much! Love you bella❤

He deleted the last bit before tweeting it. Holy shit. Shawn lied back down on the mattress, completely breathless.

How does someone like Bella Santiago find Shawn out in cyberspace? What Spotify rabbit hole did she go down that led her to him? How many of his songs did she listen to? How many songs did she save to her library? How many of those playlist emails were from her? Shawn had so many questions.

~

There were two things Annalise noticed when she was out on the courtyard after Biology. The first thing was a table on the side of the walkway, with a handmade banner hanging off the front. It read in big letters: Shawn Mendes: Live at The Cameron House. Brian, Alessia. and Camila were all sat on the same side at this table, talking to a student who was interested in the little display.

"The lounge called back," Annalise muttered to herself.

The other thing Annalise noticed was Patrick sitting under a tree nearby, reading a book. She went to him first.

The last time she had spoken to Patrick was when they cut up flowers together. He was never one to explicitly state when something has upset him, and he has seen Annalise in a depressive episode before. Annalise knew him well. Patrick kept his distance because he didn't like the negativity around her, and he couldn't afford any more of it himself.

"Hey," she greeted.

His blue eyes tore away from his book to meet her gaze. "'Sup?"

"Trying to be less fucked in the head," she told him.

Patrick nodded in approval. "Cool."

That was all that was needed for the two of them. Content, Annalise turned and went for the table. A small line had formed when she wasn't looking, so she waited behind the last person. However, with three people running the thing, Annalise got to the front fairly quick.

"Oh, she actually showed up," Brian chimed, amused.

"Meaning?" Annalise asked.

"Thought you were too pissed at Shawn to care about his show, that's all."

She swallowed the pit of annoyance, discovering that even more people knew about that. Brian is his friend, though, of course he'd know.

"Selling tickets or something?" Annalise turned her attention to the two girls.

"Yeah! Ten dollars a piece!" Alessia explained.

"Cool, I'll take one."

Just as she opened the flap on her book bag, Camila spoke up.

"Wait. I'm pretty sure Shawn said he wanted to buy you your ticket himself."

Annalise rolled her eyes. "Well, he's not here and I can do things for myself." She pulled out her wallet and paid her own goddamn ticket.

Camila breathed out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna let him do anything nice for you?"

None of your fucking business.

A new thought occurred to Annalise. "Why are tickets being sold for this show? Aren't his gigs usually free?"

"There's more production going into this one," Brian told her. "The lounge gave him the option to make it a ticketed event, and we need to make back what we already put into it. So now, it won't be a performance, it'll be Shawn's performance."

Shawn already knew how to make an audience his bitch, but…

"Alright then." Annalise shrugged and then accepted her ticket and receipt from Alessia.

The ticket alone was already quite extravagant. There were little red roses designed around the edges. This boy really loved his fucking flowers.

"I'm guessing rose petals will fall from the ceiling or something?" she guessed with a chuckle.

"I was given strict orders to not spoil anything," Brian told her, folding his arms.

The two had a mini staredown until Annalise shrugged again. "Whatever."

Then, Camila piped up again, suddenly excited. "Ooh, Ann did you hear? Bella Santiago followed Shawn on Twitter!"

"She what?" Annalise stupidly replied.

Camila practically squealed. "She gave him a shoutout too! He's blowing up on Spotify! Isn't that awesome?"

Annalise wanted to say something, but her brain wasn't quite caught up yet. So she just walked away.

The other three students watched her leave. Needless to say, they were confused.

"Is she ever gonna be happy for him?" Alessia wondered.

"I think she was excited?" Camila said tilting her head.

"I can't believe Shawn is going through all this trouble for that," Brian said with a scoff.

"I can still hear you!" Annalise called over her shoulder as she kept walking.

All three of them went red in the face, embarrassed. Brian would have made a comment about her being a vampire with supersonic hearing, but he didn't want to be called out again.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou  @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @shawnvvmendes @shawnsunflower @shawmndes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @mutuallynotmutual

[chonkyspacekitten]

No reblog please

Idk i just wanna update on my life at the moment. Its been a while. I dont really like to talk about my relationship in public forums online and i also wanna give my mutuals an explantion for my splotchy texts cause i have like 80 something messages on here rn. Ive just been so busy and emotionally drained. Sorry if i message you after like a month, start a convo but then just trail off, then respond to that response 3 months later and trail off again-

sorry sometimes yall just miss my social window yall gotta be quicker😅😅😅

Kidding kidding, but once its closed, its closed until further notice. im sorry and im trying i cherish yall a lot, my mutuals and people i still text on here. But god texting has gotten so hard the past year idk why...

My regular texting sucks too so yall arent missing much btw but happy to obliged, it if anyones interest lol, along with my messenger im on FB a lot.

But anyways. My life for the past year.

Me and my girl are in the closet, everyone knows we are dating, besides her dad and town. He doesnt know and wow it feels like we're really getting away with something LMAO

We are long distance but we kinda do this back and forth thing whenever we can. Usually every 2-3 months. Like we'll stay at each other's houses for like weeks, and its become my 2nd home, and their parents love me, my dad loves her.

We are currently trying for jobs. We both have mental illness obvi, so its hard. Really really hard. But we are trying. We're saving up to move in together. Our situation isnt ideal rn we, dont really expect to even think about moving for about a year or 2, for multitude of reasons. It just isnt realistic.

I'm also trying for disability. Doing odd jobs like mowing the lawn...really relaxing.

Am In between saying fuck it and just getting a job RIGHT now or just waiting. I first applied for social security december of last year. Denied twice. Wish me luck, i may even have to get a lawyer.

Apparently you can have a job while on disability so long as you don't make too much money...and i want a job man, but with the way my mental state is...it would do me good to actually leave the house and try to get more human interaction besides just grocery shopping myself and going to the thrift shops by myself lol or the occasional movie outing with my gf

I now have a resume. And wanna work at the gas station, library and/or Dollar tree near me. All of which im pretty comfy at. Wish me luck.

My mental health recovery...this has been a year of breakthroughs man im really making strides

Im discovering more and more traumas. Learning how to deal with shit. Its been hell for my depression but ive been growing and evolving and becoming more in tune with myself and my emotions and shit

Me and my partner are doing okay. We are okay and healthy. They have a therapist too now!

We are doing so good. We are able to be so vulnerable with each other. We talk for hours until we figure out a miscommunication. She holds me like a baby, she just squeezes the pain out of me , ive never had anyone try to understand me the way Amy does. And i give the same back. I cant keep my eyes and hands to myself. I have to look away when i stare at her for more than 2 seconds, i just cant

My heart feels with so much joy that it scares me and it feels like im gonna burst

Ive never felt this way before, about anyone

My ex? Whos a guy? And any other person ive had interest in?

The fact that most of the people ive been into have all acted "feminine", been fellow genderqueer, but AMAB at the time, and 2 have both come out as trans girls at some point...shouldve been a sign lmao. But nope, "i like guys...i like girls but cant imagine myself being romantically involved with a girl, only sexual . Guys more so emotionally i guess. *has literally never imagined actively living with a man before, getting married. Didnt even want to meet my first bf irl. But looked at boobs and was that 12 year old with a lesbian porn and hentai tiddie addiction*....yes im straight :)"

Actually coming to the realization that i can have a wife...wow that shook me. Id never considered. Or thought realistic. i was "normal", what compulsory heterosexuality wanted me to believe.

Im still struggling coming to terms in my sexuality. Been in straight up denial since i was early teens but ive known i was different since 8. Im growing in this area too, im trying. We both are actually.

1 year, 7 months ❤

We are both genderqueer demisexual sapphics/wlw❤❤

To all my sapphics in the closet with partners, i wish to you my luck and blessings

We are allowed to be happy, no one can change us

We are allowed to have happy endings, and we can whether the straights like it or not.

Tl;dr: doin really good, hard year of growth but making strides in my sexuality, relationship, goals and ambitions. Pretty grand.

[fictionfixations]

current fic wips im working on

sorry ive been quiet as fuck LOL

uhh..

the next part of the scu x dsmp crossover thing im doing (I'm still working on a title, idk man its subject to change and contains possible spoilers)

chapter 4 of this multi-chapter story (except i havent touched it in weeks sOBS im gonna procrastinate so long it becomes discontinued, ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE IVE UPDATED THe STORY LOL) \/ vent rant. dont read if you arent interested ig :'D? \/

uh.. a vent fic. that is probably cursed and problematic and i apologize is it still problematic if im venting and quite literally projecting on two comfort characters to act out the events in a similar fashion of a thing that caused me trauma? idk man ive never actually fully gotten into detail but im not pulling any stops now (besides the censor of a dead name because one is trans, and i cant handle hearing my dead name in writing, and cant for all hell think of one) 'Closure (That's all I wanted.)' fact to add onto that vent fic- so actually, fun fact, tommys dsmp prison stream where he visited dream to get closure and then kinda.. yknow was what inspired me in the end to try to find closure from my.. 'abuser'? manipulator? i dont know man. person who caused me major trauma that later ended up in me wishing death upon myself and shit? (dont worry, i got over it eventually. im okay now) yeah so anyway that stream made me think, 'huh, maybe i should try to get closure. this should be fine' yeah no it wasnt fine, i shouldve gotten the hint from the thing with tommy lmao?? but so basically its just been kinda bothering me but i never did actually talk about it to someone, so watch me pour out my trauma shit except im too squeamish so it probably has shit pacing but if i pull up the old messages ill get so nervous and panicky i cant write for shit im sorry, its tombur. i needed a minor and someone who said minor would automatically have a trust and depend on that then that person goes into a depressive state and does fucked up probably illegal shit to said minor in that shitty state because-- it wouldnt make sense otherwise when im trying to project the events..? just note that its a bad idea to try to go to a minor for help when you have mental health issues as like a teen or adult because then you pass that onto them and make them feel shittier trying to take care of you and-- im gonna stop now. im sorry, agh. problematic ship, haha. i guess youd call a part of my trauma a problematic ship though because it was minor/minor and-- am i allowed to make like jokes about this? i dont know man, people are like 'you cant make gay jokes unless youre gay!', you think that fits here? probably not. im gonna go disappear now D:

i actually dont know if the vent fic is helping since im kinda having bad days more now but i mean like.. if i never get this out, then i never will, and hey maybe im nervous for nothing and itll be fine and then maybe i can cope this way by venting out all my trauma lol

[taeyamayang]

now that you've mentioned it, i do sound like someone from the 1800s writing to their old friend 🥲😭 i'll try my best not to sound like one 😖 akaashi? that is a big compliment ○.○ just tried a haikyuu kin test and got akaashi twice so i guess that's something 😭

ahah well im barely more than halfway through and i took a lot of breaks in between 😌 but it is a good show the more you watch it. as for kotaro, i just finished it today and it's more so found family based. without spoiling anything, the kid's backstory does get a little sad. it's a decent show overall though and there were many cute moments to make up for it. uwah i've been meaning to watch given as well but i gotta finish the 10 other animes i put on hold 😋👍 do you also have 20 other animes in your watchlist? 😭

also, just thought i'd post a simple qns. i've read most of your works from tr and jjk and i wonder, how do you get the inspiration to write your works? based on my tr request prompt, you managed to wrote up a oneshot just by a few words, and it was pretty well done as well! what's your thought process when writing?

as always, i hope you have a great rest of the week! don't forget to stay hydrated and safe. be grateful for the little things and i'm soso proud of you. keep up the good work!

ps. i saw ur loves tag and i'm crying?? you didn't have too oml thank you <33

(i always seem to write too long and im so sorry about that 😭)

🌻

no! it's totally fine i like how we have this 1800s dynamics lmao btw i'm sorry it took awhile to write back because i've been busy and i always forget to check my ask box lol and yes you really do give me akaashi keiji vibes hm 🤔

you know what? funny thing i skipped kotaro lives alone cos i heard people say that the kid has a sad background/history and i personally have to mentally prepare myself for emotionally elevating scenes/series bc i feel uncomfortable handling heightened emotions (i'm a bit constipated in showing feelings) SO i moved on to watch given. i finished the series and the movie as well AND SHIT YOU NOT it was a freaking emotional show. i was caught unprepared for it and now i'm all over the place, broken beyond repair BUT I LOVE IT it was well pulled off but still i... sigh, i'm a clown for skipping kotaro lives alone bc of the kid's sad history when given is a whole lot more depressing/angsty.

yes, i do have a long list of animes to watch and i wish i have an extra pair of eyes (aside from my glasses lmao) and brain to consume all the media i want.

that's a cute question, i didn't expect you to ask something about my writing. it makes me feel giddy knowing that someone is interested in knowing how i write gsnsbsns :')

anyway, so i get my inspiration from requests. reqs are like prompts to me, they give me an image or scene to start off with then from there i choose which character (if not given) fits it based on their personality. so, i fit the scene to the personality of the character i will write for then i try to come up with a situation that is likely to happen behind the scenes of the show so it will be relatable for the viewers and readers (e.g: from your request i thought, in the anime only scenes of the actual gang meetings are shown but what happens before the meeting when the captains are waiting for the rest of the members? since they usually start late afternoon to evening maybe they eat first before holding a meeting? then, what transpires in that scene? what could possibly happen within that period of time? do they hang out like ordinary teens their age? how do they converse?) so basically i look for loopholes in the series (if the writing is canon based) then i write for it, i create scenes from what if's.

ㅡholy fuck i suck at explaining.

but i do hope you understand what i meant.

how about you? any updates going on in your life? how's breathing? kidding. but don't hesitate to share anything random about you or your life. i would love to get to know you more.

you never forget to leave me a sweet message, sunflower anon. your words warm my heart :) i hope you eat well today, don't forget to hydrated yourself and look out for your mental health. no one is more important to you than yourself.

i hope to hear from you soon! 'till then, lovely 🌻

[5hfanfiction]

our broken white rose ⇾ camren

a/n: hi guys…!!! i suck, I fuckin know. i haven’t updated since august and truly honestly, i have no excuse other than life happened and shit hit the fan. i kinda wanna explain so y'all know even tho most of you probably don’t give a fuck honestly. ok sooo for starters as some of you may know or knew but forgot, i have a fiancée and we were trying to get pregnant and have a kid awhile ago and she did successfully get pregnant and well… things have been hectic. looks like we’re expecting double the trouble. twin girls lol. um, idk it took me awhile to wrap my head around it. i kinda envisioned parenthood at one at a time even tho the possibility of multiple is there, i never thought it’d go down in my life. but i guess this is god’s plan for me and i’m gonna love those two girls with all my heart.

college has truly been kicking my ass, on top of my moody, grumpy and randomly sad as fuck fiancée, but i’m getting by. currently on winter break so i decided i’d finally sit down and update. my fiancée went out to south jersey to visit her parents and i’m here in north jersey with the house finally to myself. maybe i can make a mess without getting yelled at by her now fhdjdjdkd lol. anyways, that’s basically the gist of what’s been going on. college wants me dead, my fiancée is carry two fetuses inside her and her due date is approaching dangerously fast. lmao. don’t you live life? smh.

anyways, the last thing i wanna share with y'all before i start the story is, I HAVE A NEW BOOK THAT IM ACTUALLY GONNA BE COMMITTED TO COMING OUT RIGHT ATTER I PUBLISH THIS CHAPTER! its called ‘one night stand’ and yesss, it has smut. so please go check it out after this. i have some really cool ideas for it but i need feedback on whether i should waste my time continuing or not. for my tumblr readers, its most likely up on my wattpad as you read this so go follow it @ wthbello and add the book to your library. please comment and vote. with that being said, i hope you enjoy the story. make sure to read end of the chapter questions and answer them. thanks so much, enjoy my usual angst filed, depressing ass stories!

***

“She what?” Both Camila and Lauren shouted in unison as they slowly but frantically followed after Lucy.

Lucy walked at a jagged pace desperately attempting to reach her rental as she explained. “She was granted parol and was released today. Janelle asked me to come see her today, you know, figure out a way to get her out. She was going on and on about how Lola had a plan to go and get your kids. Dustin, Lana and Luna. So I tracked you down to warn you,” she explained in a rushed tone as they finally reached her rented Mazda.

Camila eyes Lucy in suspicious, still anxious being around her after everything. “How did you even get out?” She asked before her eyes enlarged as realization struck. She looked at Lauren in panic. “T-The kids. They’re with Normani, she just took Dustin not too long ago,” Camila had completely forgotten all about Ariana. I’ll text her later, she thought distractedly as her two daughters and infant son came to mind.

Lucy stopped at the vehicle taking a deep breath. She looked them dead in the eye as she pulled the drivers side handle open. “I’ve been out for two months Camila,” the last thing on her mind was explaining her reasoning. She didn’t want to talk about. She didn’t feel she needed to talk about it. She just wanted to forget. Lucy climbed in the all black car, leaving her door open as she peered up at the two mother’s before her. “As for Normani, Tori’s got it,” Lucy smirked. “Now get the fuck in the car.”

Lauren spoke up for the first time in awhile, “What the hell is going on Lucia?” Her hands shook as she gazed down at the woman. So much built up anger and hatred yet confusion and hurt bubbled within her as she stared the woman down.

Lucy’s smirk soon fell as regret and sorrow filled her eyes. “I was terrible… to both of you. I fucked up so much in the last and this is my chance to fix it. Please. Trust me.”

Maybe a couple years ago, Lauren would jump at the thought of trusting Lucy. How couldn’t she? She’d never lie to her, correct? Wrong. For years, she was lied to and fooled to believe the love of her life, the mother of her children, was gone. And Lucy was an accomplice. She didn’t think she could ever trust the woman again. But something about the look in Lucy’s eyes seemed to draw her in. She wasn’t sure how she was feeling, but right now she knew her safety, Camila’s safety and hers were in severe danger with that crazy bat out.

Camila and Lauren both looked at each other before sharing a small, risky mutual agreement. Lauren rounded the vehicle and got in the passenger seat as Camila went into the back, sitting in the middle so she could peer at the two women in front of her.

“Where to?” Camila asked.

Lucy turned to look at the woman in the backseat, a small smirk playing on her lips. “Yakutat Alaska.”

***

“It feels so gross being back her,” Camila mumbled, hugging her arms loosely around herself as Lauren draped her own arm over her shoulder. She still didn’t know how she felt about her relationship with Lauren. The sudden proposal still replayed in her head but she didn’t have time to think about that right now. Her mind wondered as she thought about the safety of her kids and the weariness of Lola being out of prison… again. Her life just seemed to be a never ending pile of destruction and she just wanted to run away… like Lauren said. Her eyebrows furrowed as she turned to look at the woman next to her. She went to open her mouth and question her before shaking her head and deciding to keep it shut until later on.

“Tell me about it,” Lucy mumbled as she locked the doors of the rental car.

Lauren huffed softly, her grip on Camila tightening. “So are you gonna explain why we’re here?”

Lucy nodded distractedly as she smacked her lips and nodded off towards her right as they began walking towards a group of buildings. “Janelle told me that Lola was granted parole in Yakutat because this initially is where the crime took place which I think is complete bullshit because the original crime was when she falsified your murder in Florida. Yakutat is a small town, but so easy to escape. Lola can redo everything she’s ever planned. She can hire or even threaten her way around here and start up her ridiculous revenge plot. We need to end it before it starts.”

The brown eyed woman furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she released herself from Lauren’s hold and quickened her pace to walk beside Lucy as she began questioning. “End it how?” She asked in bewilderment. “Its Lola. She’ll just kill me for good now. You brought me all the way here just so she could do that, right? You’ve been working with her all along. You know I’m a moth-”

Lucy stopped abruptly, reaching out to grab Camila’s wrist in a forceful hold. The woman went to scream before her eyes landed on Lucy’s soft ones. Lucy slowly released Camila, running a distressed hand through her hair before turning to look at Lauren. “I’ve fucked up in the past. So much. I lost the love of my life, I watched as she hurt over someone who was still here, I watched as she raised two amazing independent girls on her own all while trying to manage her own internal heartbreak,” Lucy paused, staring deeply into Lauren’s pale green eyes. “I’ll do anything to amend my wrongs. I’m never going back to the way I use to be. I don’t want to, and I won’t allow myself to. I’m stronger, I’m better and my head is finally going down the right path,” she sighed shakily before turning back to Camila. “The last thing I want is to see get hurt again. I watched on the sidelines for too many goddamn years. I’m gonna make it right this time. Even if it means putting myself away for life.”

Lauren’s eyes widened in horror at the woman’s last sentence. “Lucy, what are you talking about?”

Hot tears stung the corner of Lucy’s eyes as she chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m gonna kill her. I have to,” with that she continued straight forward towards the group of buildings collectively lined up beside each other.

Camila and Lauren shared a regretful stare before quickly following chasing after Lucy.

“You can’t do that,”

“Come on be rational Lucy,”

“We can just go to the cops again,”

“Yeah, we can do that. You can’t ruin your life like tha-”

Suddenly whirling around, fire burned within Lucy’s brown eyes. “Go to the cops? And tell that what? That my crazy step sister is trying to kill the Camila Cabello? Huh? Do you know what’d happen to me?”

Camila stopped, breathing heavily. “Why do you care so much? Huh? Its my life Lucy. Please. Let me handle it.”

Chuckling bitterly to herself, Lucy shook her head. “It may be your life, but you know nothing about mine,” she stared off into the distance before shaking her head once again. “When Lola sends a group of correction officers to gang rape you every fucking day in jail, not being able to fight back because you’ll just be thrown into solitary, then speak to me. Everything isn’t about you.”

“Lu-”

“I’m gonna kill her, with or without you guys here,” Lucy stared them down before turning on her heel and walking away, both Camila and Lauren’s feet basically being glued to the ground as they watched in silent horror.

Camila turned to look at the mother of her children before whispering softly, “What do we do?”

***

a/n: short ass chapter, just a filler for the shit about to go dddoooowwwnnnnn. omg, i know y'all hate me and that i’ve been gone for over five months and i’m sorry. life just happened and idk what else to say really. i’m back now and hopefully i stick around because i truly have missed writing so fuckin much. like a huge ass relief has washed over me because i absolutely love what i do and writing for people.

now welcome back to my world full of angst and drama (; i promise the camren fluff is coming soon. y'all have waited two books for it and it’s gonna be here in a few short chapters.

now, i have a brrraaannnndddd new book out called “one night stand” and its camren ofc. this book was really a spur of the moment type of thing but i already love what i have in store for it so far and i truly think i’m gonna be committed as fuck with this book. yes, it has smut. a lot of it actually. so please go check it out on my page, add it to your library.

of course, amazing cover creds to SLOTHTATO literally their work is fucking phenomenal. best cover maker on all of wattpad, idc, fight me. like look at this (obviously my tumblr readers can’t see it so go add the book in your library on my wattpad @ wthbello because it’s a sexy ass cover).

anyways, yeah, please go check that out. i’ve worked really hard on it and i really like where it’s going. it has angst, but definitely a lot less angst than this story right here. the angst in this is actually way more relatable to real life problems and stuff like that so once again, please go check it out after this.

don’t forget to vote, comment and answer end of the chapter questions below. if you’re a tumblr reading, come follow me on wattpad @ wthbello and add my new camren story 'one night stand’ to your library and read it and vote and comment and all that amazing stuff. thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed.

i’m a sucker for feedback and it’ll help me navigate where to go in the aspects of what my readers will enjoy (if y'all are still here since i’ve been so goddamn MIA lmao) so please answer at least a couple end of the chapter questions to the best of your abilities. again, if you’re from tumblr, head over to my wattpad so you can do that.

what do you think about this chapter?

what do you think will happen next?

how do you feel about lola being out?

how do you feel about lucy being out?

do you think lucy’s bluffing and she’s really working with lola?

where do you think tori and her mom are?

what do you think is/will happen with lauren and camila’s children?

what do you wanna see moving forth?

what are you least worried about?

what are you most worried about?

last but not least, how do you feel about camila’s new music and 5h’s album, lauren’s single, dinah’s feature, and 5h’s collab with pitbull? y'all knew i had to ask this since i haven’t been here since the day before the girls released their album lol.

anyways, thanks so much for reading. i appreciate so much if you’re still for some reason stick around, you have no possible idea how much it means to me and i’m forever grateful for you

[shes-my-colllar]

the whole byf masterpost

sorry this isnt on my main blog, i wanted to keep this separate from the posts on my main blog lmao

ABOUT ME

hello. i’m Kodi. you can also call me Minty. either one works, but i prefer Kodi.

here’s what i look like. in case that was a concern you had.

i’m 14, nonbinary (they/them or he/him preferred, but anything works tbh), a freshman in high school, and live in Colorado. no, I won’t sell you pot. thanks for asking.

im asexual and panromantic. if you look like lars im probably already attracted to you.

i’m incredibly vulgar, in case you already couldn’t tell. c:

also in case you couldn’t tell, i mostly reblog mcr and frank iero n stuff. i’ll also reblog memes and shitposts and whatever. but it is mostly mcr and fiatp and stuff like that. anything that’s not mcr is most likely tagged.

speaking of stuff i usually post, things will get bloody on here. i will fairly often reblog pictures of blood. 99% of the time i tag it, tho. if you want to follow me but have a blood trigger, blacklist the ‘blood tw /’ tag.

i have depression, ADHD (professionally diagnosed), anxiety disorder, and DPDR (self-diagnosed)

i do art things sometimes. and music things, but theyre not public. maybe when i work up enough courage i’ll post something related to my music stuff.

i’m a Satanist, a member of the Satanic Temple. (i have a membership card man dont fuck with me)

i’m an anarchist, too.

i’m fluent in sarcasm and talking shit. partially fluent in spanish.

i play bass, ukulele, melodica, and violin (and a little piano too but i’m not good at it)

if you see me reblog something that contains a trigger of yours, please do not hesitate to send me an ask and tell me!! you can send it on anon and tell me to tag it. (tho i prefer off anon, so i can answer you privately [and take you seriously. remember that one anon that asked me to tag bob? i thought it was just someone who actually liked bob asking me to start a tag for him, so i responded really sarcastically and told them i wouldnt. it turned out to be someone who was genuinely triggered by bob, and i felt like shit for responding the way i did lmao]) 

this is completely unimportant, but i want to share it anyway. my main drink order at Starbucks is a mocha. iced, hot, frappuccino, white chocolate, peppermint, dont care, as long as its a mocha. unless the psl is in season. then i get a psl.

thanks for paying a visit to my blog. stay fresh, stay classy, and stay alive.

i support - LGBTQ+ rights (this blog is a safe space, and will not tolerate any form of aphobia) - women’s rights/gender equality (this blog will not tolerate any sexism, towards men OR women, or any other gender identity) - racial equality (this blog will not tolerate any racism) - anarchism (fuck the government! its built on old white men with standards that were good for a country 200+ years ago! they’re racist! they’re homophobic! they’re sexist! get them the fuck out of there! replace the government! respect existence or expect resistance!)

i do not support - conservative republicans - Donald Trump specifically - feminazis/radical feminists - pedophilia/ddlg and any ships involving it - incest and any ships involving it - pro-ana/thinspo - exclusionists (those who think asexuals aren’t LGBTQ+ and don’t belong in LGBTQ+ spaces) - TERFs/SWERFs - forcing sexualities onto people (we all think Dan and Phil look cute together, ok? i like the idea of them being together too. just stop going out of your way to find every little detail that may suggest they’re together, and just,,, saying they’re boyfriends, leave them alone lmao)

bonus unlocked: music I listen to, shows/youtubers i watch, things you’ll see me reblog at times, etc - Twenty One Pilots - Panic! At The Disco - Gorillaz - Leathermouth - Pencey Prep - Death Spells - My Chemical Romance - Frank Iero andthe Patience - Fall Out Boy - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me - Falling In Reverse - Misfits - Nirvana - Vinyl Theatre - the Cancer Crew (Filthy Frank, iDubbbz, Maxmoefoe) - Pyrocynical - Dan and Phil - Splatoon - Night in the Woods - Overwatch - Bojack Horseman - Rick and Morty - Stranger Things - Steven Universe - The End Of The F***ing World

just warning you now; every time something new comes out for something im into (new episode of a TV show, new music video for a band, new video from a youtuber, etc), i’ll be reblogging things related to that thing for awhile. so, you may come across spoilers for some things. apologies. i’ll try to remember to tag it if it has major spoilers.

LINKS

band member tags (they all should be mobile friendly now!! fixed them all)

gerard - x ( tagged #!!.gee ) frank - x ( tagged #!!.frank ) ray - x ( tagged #!!.ray ) mikey - x ( tagged #!!.mikey ) (eat shit bob) bonus: frerard - x bonus: rikey - x

era tags (i did my best to make sure these are all mobile friendly)

bullets - x ( tagged #bullets ) revenge - x ( tagged #tcfsr ) black parade - x ( tagged #bp ) danger days - x ( tagged #dd ) hesitant alien - x ( tagged #aliens ) andthe patience - x ( tagged #patience )

lyrics tag

social media (this list is frequently updated, but if any of the links don’t work please let me know)

deviantart - KoditheInkling instagram - xokodi_ snapchat - koditheinkling (most active) youtube - MintyBlueNobody ifunny - JoeKeery (inactive) wattpad - fantastlc-bastards twitter - xokodi_  spotify - koditheinkling

gaming shit (no actual links here, just where you can find me)

switch FC -  SW-5080-0652-7342 switch IGN - SR • xokodi_ pocket camp ID - 0578 1253 280 pocket camp IGN - my dude discord - emo in 2018#1677

support me!!

buy me a coffee shop my redbubble

not an mcr fan? its chill, i got tags for other stuff too c:

gorillaz twenty one pilots i dont know how but they found me panic! at the disco black panther  love, simon rick and morty dan and phil

(more coming soon!!)

[brothalynchhung]

2018 overview

goddddd im so late lol i didnt forget about this blog I'm just active on my other account also I'm never uhhhh home and I'm so busy now god i feel like I'm losing myself and my youth hood from not updating here fml life got me fucked up

ANYWAYS 2018 was fucking crazy what the hell how did so much shit happen in one year

in the 2017 overview i talked about regretting and trying to make up time and ohhhh bitch.... looool

anyways lets start:

2018 immediately started with some bullshit

literally started 2018 turning up LMFAOOO

so it was a good start 

spent new years w old friends some shit ill never do again

hotel room bullshit, eating out, running around outside, late drives listening to early 2000s music

OMG the hotel jesus i remember now i started 2018 on that trash ass app

talking to weirdos

being liked by over 2000 people?

wow what fucking redemption from middle school and high school 

but like... i learned all men are fucking losers LMFAOO

had two weird ass “dates” aka not really since i dipped those things quick aFFF lmao

fuck my old dumb friends for encouraging me to do that shit lol

was funny tho so who cares

this time (january) last year i was

broke

depressed about gl, no job, hating school

i was sooo depressed like 2018 until june i was literally just depressed and borderline suicidal cuz not having a job and being broke as shit was stressing me out so much

i tried so hard to get a job anywhere but for some reason it wasn't working???

i met(?????) that bitch HB LMAFOOOOO

godddd that fucking 5 hours 3 am call

all that weird obsessing and calls we used to have LMFAO he was such a fucking hoe why did i even waste my time

AND I STILL HAVENT MET HIM IRL YET LMFAOFPJEWIOGHERUGHESU EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME I SAW HIM AT CU AND EUIRHGEUISHRH INSANE

but yeah fuck him for calling me too thick but THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH

highly he was one the best things to happen to me in 2018?

he called me thick i got cheesed and 

I LOST 15+ POUNDS IN 2018 

honestly after years of saying ill lost weight ill lose weight I FINALLY FUCKING DID

god 2018 was honestly year of the grind

gym every single day

rip school gym LMFAOOO i lost all my weight there god bless

oh yeah i became vegetarian!! and now I'm vegan LMFAO plot twist?

JESUS REMEMBER WHEN HB SAID MY VOICE TURNED HIM ON I CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGERYISEGHUIEHEIOS LMFAOOOO FUCK HIM THANKS FOR INSPIRING ME TO LOSE WEIGHT AND BE SEXY SO I CAN STUNT ON ALL U UGLY ASS MEN

anyways he weirdly kept on trying to hit me up even after he called me too thick infront of the boys (to which they still defended me shout out boys) fucking loser... i shut him down lol

ntcntcjkjkntcjkntcjkjk lol

brockhaamptoonn

threw up from that night i got too drunk LMFAO what an experience never again

i turned up too much in 2018 -_____- i don't even like it wtf

was a lot of fun tho like thats what i wanted right? reclaim my time i lost in hs/early uni because those hoes we don't speak of

i really didnt do shit other than obsess over being broke depressed and missing gl in the beginning of 2018 sooo.. lets just... fast forward? god what a weird ass year

and going to the gym everyday

counting calories

i need to start doing that shit again cuz I'm actually terrified i might be 120 again after fucking dubai

my old ass friends who i basically used to make up for my regret and reclaim my youth from high school was basically all of the beginning of 2018 . yes thanks for the memories thanks for helping relive my past that i lost . thanks. ur appreciated it was fun

but fuck y'all cuz y'all never had anything in common with me and y'all r embarrassing and boring . i was the exciting and better one 

also fuck y'all for letting me down . after y'all fucked off i got successful 

when i obsessed over that ugly weird guy in my phi classes and then i saw him up close and he was UGHLYLYYK GHU AND WEIRD AF 

and he was on my tip crazy with his weird low key fetishing internally racist bullshit LMFAOOO

i think the fuck not

he's still in one of my classes now i gotta spend the whole semester avoiding him IFNWFUWifhqfuwighau

god

discovered my love for white rabbit

finally finished that lonely ass semester

went straight into summer school w/zainb

love her ass lol

wait was 2018 the year i ran into that weird at the mall who tried to kiss me withing 10 minutes of meeting me at bubble tea? LMFAOOO WHAT A FREAK GOD 

my fucking life fam istg

watching hxh ugh best time ever

got a job!!! 

GOT ANOTHER JOB!!!

TWO AT ONCE and one of them was so crazy good for my career 

to the point where I'm STILL in contact with them

seriously getting a job changed the year for me so much

got out of my bad depression starting making money

straight grind

work gym 

BOUGHT EVERYTHING I WANTED.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING

ALESIS . STUDIO SET UP . LOEWE BAG. AND MORE EVERYTHING I WANTED AND I LOST WEIGHT

like i accomplished everything????

its like the beginning of the 2018 year was me gearing up and mentally readying myself for when i fiINALLY GOT A JOB and then i accomplished everything i wanted

yo i was working 3 jobs and that catfish hip hop class 

LFMAOOOOO THAT HIP HOP COURSE OMGG LMFAOEJGUIE ICONIC

i killed that shit lmao😂

met that weird ugly kid that was talking all this bullshit about us being the same and him thinking he had a chance w me LMFAOOO okay sure there

all cuz of fucking r and her high school esque bullshit

honestly fuck her LMFAOO i don't wish her anything just fuck off after all the bullshit since middle school you put me thru 

her and her ugly ass bf i had to deal with god I'm so happy she's out of my life

used you to make up from lost time 😂 i don't need u anymore Im at peace with myself BYE 

i don't even feel sentimental when i was run or i need u like i finished the book and i closed that shit and i feel better like i got so much closure this year

sister got married suwhoooo 

weird encounter w dal? tf? girl bye you've been dead to me since 2012 LMFAOO

so much people i really don't give a fuck about

honestly in 2018 i just lost all my fucks and only focused on me 

it gonna stay like that

made so much new friends i cant even name them all 

love all my work friends club GANG

chilling w hec and crew gang gang

oh yeah that taurus bitch i got confused feelings over and wasted my time 

cut his annoying ugly weird ass off lol but whatever lost time reclaimed it was very 2011-13 esque

got rid of everything from my sunken period thank god

got rid of so much shit

the closure/transformation was real

anyways uhhh so yeah so then fall semester started just continued working and gaming 

 lowest i got was 113 but idk wat i am now :( I'm so scared i really don't want to be over 115 but I'm like always bloated so I can never check I'm so sad rn

cut off annoying friends fuck them i have new better ones and i love myself

jjkjkjkjknctncjtkcktn lol 

good music good book watched so much movies

I SAW BROCKHAMPTON JCOLE THE GORRILAZ THE INTERNET DELASOUL AND BLOOD ORANGE LIVE!!! BITCH WAT THE FUCK ALL IN ONE YEAR

toronto trip!! mil trip!!! all on my own fucking amazing

end of 2018 was so good omg 

ran into 2% jfc

drunk called 2% lMFAOOO god just said sorry for nothing lmao i just want gl I'm clinging on to anything

OH YEAH that ugly broke bitch who wasted my time and objectified me yeah fuck him 

if he didnt do that disrespectful ass shit i wouldn't have called 2% ugh god

never using that trash app ever again 

ended 2018 in dubai 

YSL LOEWE ALL ON ME???? YES BITCH 

didnt feel like a failure in dubai stunt on everyone

ended this year amazing

really looking forward to 2019

looking forward to losing weight -____________- still

looking forward to money

accomplishing goals

getting closer to gl

FINISHING FUCKING SCHOOL FINALLY 

just happiness.. 

I'm happy. 2019 I'm ready lets fucking go. gl lets go . I'm on my way

went from broke hopeless no job depressed to thriving beautiful UP TO 4 JOBS everyone can fuck off