#anyway im probably just going to get up shower and get an early start to my day

[lucky-brown-cat]

I've been up all night, unable to sleep, thinking nonstop about my life and what has led me to where I am and what I can do to improve it. I feel like a clown, a thing to be mocked and deprived of personhood. Not a full person, much less an adult, which is a feeling that makes me sick. But! I am getting better, and I am going to hopefully be taking steps to get to a better place and allow myself some agency in my own life. It will take waiting until the end of the month, though, and that's honestly driving me insane. I lay in bed worrying constantly over whether it'll work or not. Will it lead to some self-realization, or will I be smacked back down to my proper station? Anyway, all this is to say that I am having a rough go of things currently, and I'm so very tired.

[ebsmind]

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐝 ❀ armando aretas x fem!reader

summary: no one ever said love was easy. good thing you weren’t planning on leaving anytime soon even through rough patches.

word count: 2.9k

warning(s): angst!, fighting (verbally not physically), smut (mdni), oral (fem receiving), fab!reader, readers height being mentioned (she’s 5’2), reader has armando wrapped around her damn finger, ummmm probably abandonment but like for only two days 😭, soft!armando, mention of rafe x reader, not 100% proofread

a/n: okay woooo this is the first imagine i’ve written in a minute (if you remember my hockey days ily) i hope this is good and can meet to yalls standards! i had fun writing this and ik it took me like over a week but i really didn’t know what i wanted to do with the plot lol. anyways please send me any feedback and if there’s any spelling mistakes or anything feel free to lmk! this was also my first time ever writing in depth smut so i hope it’s somewhat good 💃🏻 also reblogs are highly encouraged! they help me out sm!

oh! i almost forgot too, i didn’t mention it in here bc it’s not that important to me but i thought id share anyways! i see the reader knowing the AMMO team but she has a different job (id say in hospitality or something with medical knowledge) it doesn’t really matter tho since it’s what i envisioned but i just wanted yall to see where my head is at! okay im going now bye! and enjoy 💋

“we were crazy to think, crazy to think that this could work. remember how i said i’d die for you?”

The weather in Miami the past week has been bipolar. For it being the middle of September, it was chilly. Something felt off, almost like Mother Nature was reaching out. The rain had just finished pouring, and Armando wasn’t due to be home until another hour. So, when the younger girl heard the lock to the front door turn, she was surprised. He wasn’t one to leave early if anything, he loved working overtime. He always gave the excuse of 'wanting to be the main provider'. When he walks in, he sets his jacket on the coat hanger and doesn’t say a word. Weird.

“Hey you’re home early, what happened?” She stays calm. Something seems off with the 5’10 man and she doesn’t want to upset him even more.

He sets the keys on the dining table rather than the coffee table in the middle of the living room. He scurries off to their shared bedroom. She sighs and takes it as a hint to get off the couch and follow after him. Her mind runs wild on what could possibly be bothering him. Did Marcus find some way to piss him off? Did a raid go wrong? Did she do something wrong? There were so many possibilities of what could’ve gone wrong.

She walks into the bedroom cautiously and makes a B-line to the restroom. Armando had a routine when he came home from work. Put the keys in the bowl on the coffee table, find his girl, give her a kiss and hug, talk about both of their days and finally, hop in the shower. A sense of stability in his life made him feel somewhat relaxed and gave him a reason to never leave. He almost felt normal. Normal was a funny word considering he used to be in the cartel.

She knew the domesticated part of their relationship scared him and it did the same to her. Most nights she’d stay up thinking about if he was going to get up and leave one day. It wasn’t good for her and she knew it too.

She leans against the door frame and watches him get into the shower. He doesn’t seem to notice, he’s in his head and it’s bothering him. Armando didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve but she knew him well enough to know when he was in his head. Being in a romantic relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style wasn’t easy but she needed to be patient. Some days were harder than others though, and she felt it in her bones that today was going to be a bad day.

She mentally prepares herself by taking a deep breath. She starts by saying, “Armando you’ve got to talk to me.” She uses his full name, no pet names, wanting him to know she’s being serious.

“We will when I get out.” He raises his voice, not enough for it to be considered yelling but just enough to get the point across that he isn’t in the mood.

She doesn’t respond, he needs time to gather his thoughts. She exits the bathroom and makes her way back to the living room. She picks up a book before finally making contact with the soft fabric of the couch. She needs something to distract herself with. About 15 minutes later, Armando walks into the room. She lets him soak in the silence, maybe he’ll get the memo to finally speak up without her having to tell him. To the contrary, he doesn’t.

Taking a deep breath she starts with, “I’m not in the mood to play a guessing game,” She pauses to look him in the eyes, “So please just talk to me and tell me what’s wrong.”

He keeps his eyes locked on her. He knows she’s irritated and wants to get this over with.

“And if I don’t want to talk?”

She scoffs, “You do realize we have to talk about it sooner or later, right? I don’t feel like doing this Armando, so please just tell me what’s wrong so I can help.”

“What if we don’t have to do this?”

Bamboozled, she questions him, “the fuck you mean by ‘what if we don’t have to do this’ ?”

“I don’t want to do this anymore Y/N.”

His confession makes the poor girl's heart fall to her stomach. She can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. Their relationship was a tricky one, just like any other. She’s seen her parents go through rough patches before for fucks sake, there’s no way he’s leaving without an explanation. Patience is running real slow between the two and the tension in the room feels foggy.

“Remember when I told you I loved you for the first time? Remember when I told you I’d take a fucking bullet for you? Hmm?”

Armando doesn’t respond. Typical. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for the young couple to fight, shit happens. But Armando’s cold demeanor is what was out of place.

She was his safe place and he knew it. She made it very clear when they started seeing each other that he couldn’t run away. Not from his feelings and most certainly not her. So for him to put up those walls that they desperately worked hard to keep down, was upsetting. To say the least.

With the tensions high between the pair, the girl took a much-awaited deep breath and spoke.

“My love for you is unconditional. I hope you remember that.”

Armando looks away and walks out the front door.

“they all warned us about times like this, they say the road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith. blind faith.”

The mirrors in the bathroom are fogged up due to the boiling-hot water coming out of the shower head. It had been two days since Armando stormed out of the apartment and Y/N was fed up, to say the least.

Armando’s behavior has never gotten that bad. With the way Isabel raised him, it was expected to be rough but he had been doing good, for her. Everything he did, he reminded himself that it was for the both of them. He loved her just as much as she loved him. She fell first but he fell harder.

Armando never thought he would fall in love, but he did. In the middle of a stakeout, he spotted the girl walking out of a cafè. He remembers the dress she wore, it was white, and long, with yellow flowers. It screamed innocence and he loved it.

A week later he found himself following her around. He wasn’t due to go back to Mexico City for another week and he already finished the job so why not kill some time?

Two days before his departure from Miami he found himself in her apartment with his head between her thighs. He never wanted to leave but he couldn’t let anyone find out about you two. The good thing is, Armando was an excellent liar and no one ever discovered his dirty little secret.

Once she gets out of the shower, she waits no time to yell out her lover's name.

“Armando?” She pauses and there’s no answer.

Her heart breaks just a little more. With the ache in her chest, she decides to call the one person who might know where Armando is, Mike.

Mike was someone Y/N found comfort in, especially when it came to Armando. She knew their relationship was tricky, but he cared about his son and so did she.

Mike picks up at the 5th ring. He knew she only called when it was an emergency.

“Talk to me. What happened?” Mike doesn’t need to ask how she’s doing, if anything he’ll do it after but he needed to know what in the hell his son did now.

Mike’s voice brought the girl to tears. She felt at ease knowing that Mike was always willing to help her in a time of need.

She sniffles before speaking, “Oh Mike, it’s been two days since I’ve last seen him. He came home Tuesday night without saying a word and left right after showering. I tried to get him to talk but he wouldn’t budge. I’m really worried he hasn’t done this in so long, I don’t know what happened.” She says it all in one breath, and by the time she is done speaking, she’s panting. Mike pauses before replying to the anxious girl.

“I’ll call Dorn and Kelly to see if he’s been staying with them but he’s been going to work. I knew something was up when he refused to talk to anyone.”

“Thank you, Mike, I appreciate you so much.”

“Of course, but Imma need you to remember that when shit hits the fan never give up. You hear me? Never give up, especially with Armando.”

Mike hangs up after speaking and leaves Y/N to wallow in her thoughts. She understood Mike was a busy man and had a separate life so she didn’t take it to heart but it hurt knowing that she was all alone again.

“but we can patch it up good, make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness, got the wine for you.”

Mike called Y/N back two hours later saying that Armando was on his way home. The girl couldn’t tell if she was happy that he was okay or enraged that he didn’t have the balls to come home without someone having to tell him too. Armando would just have to come home to see the answer to that.

The young woman was frightened, not knowing if this was going to end in a raging verbal war or if everything was going to return to normal. She didn’t want to lose Armando, like she said earlier, she loved him unconditionally.

To kill time, she decided it was best to bake her favorite sweets, chocolate chip cookies. She makes her way to the kitchen to prep the batter. When she goes to preheat the oven, she hears the front door unlock. Armando’s home.

Even after almost two years of being together, he still made her heart race and the butterflies in her stomach never seem to have left.

He walks in and spots her in the kitchen, her back is facing him. He can tell she’s waiting for him to make the first move.

“I’m home.” He closes the front door and locks it, his eyes never leaving her back.

She looks to the right and over her shoulder, “It took you long enough. Where were you?”

“I stayed with Dorn and Kelly. I’m fine Y/N.”

She takes a deep breath and mentally reminds herself that she can’t blow up on him, even though he deserves it. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. There’s nothing else for her to say, he messed up badly and he needed to be the one to fix this.

“Baby look, lo siento, I do. I don’t know what happened. One second I was okay and then Rita said something and I just got angry. I needed some time to think. I needed space.” He makes his way to the kitchen island, he’s now 5 feet away from Y/N. He yearns for her touch. The last couple of days were hard and all he wanted was a hug from his girl, but he knew he wasn’t getting that.

The oven beeps, cutting off Y/N’s train of thought. She grabs the metal tray filled with cookies and gently puts them into the oven. She turns and is faced with Armando. She takes notice of what he’s wearing. It’s a different outfit, she knew for a fact that he came when she was gone for work. He had left with nothing but his keys on Tuesday and Dorn’s clothes wouldn’t have fit Armando. That man was 6’2 for Christ's sake.

“I didn’t expect you to become a coward and just leave without saying a word but here we are.” Armando could feel the heat radiating off of the 5’2 woman. She may be small but she was frightening when she was angry.

Armando grips the counter, hard, he takes a deep breath before answering the girl.

“I know I fucked up but I just needed space.” She scoffs at his statement.

“Needed space from what exactly?” She manages to huff out. She’s fed up and Armando knows it. One wrong move and he’s a dead man.

“Rafe wouldn’t shut up, okay! He kept talking about you like you were just some piece of meat.! I couldn’t take it! I get that you guys dated but fuck!” Armando's grip on the counter is lethal and his knuckles are practically white.

“Armando Aretas are you jealous?”

“No.”

She smiles and gets a glare in return from her lover. Oh, she was going to have a field day with this.

Before Armando came into the picture Y/N had dated Rafe for about 4 months. It wasn’t anything serious, but if you were to ask her what she thought of Rafe, she’d tell you he was a piece of shit.

“Well I think you’re jealous,” she wasn’t letting it go, “and I think it’s hot but you need to remember that Rafe can be a douchebag.” She makes her way over to Armando and pulls him in for a hug.

“Just next time please don’t leave without saying a word and you have to communicate with me.” She looks up at him with her doe eyes while speaking.

“I promise it won’t happen again. I love you, baby.”

“Religion’s in your lips even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship, we might just get away with it, the altar is my hips even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love.”

Without a second to waste Armando sweeps the girl into a passionate kiss. He’s hungry and seeing Kelly and Dorn together really made him miss his girl.

He brings his hands down her body and rests them on her hips. He deepens the kiss by swiping his tongue into her mouth. As much as she wants to fight for it, she knows it’s his turn to take care of her, so she gives in. She runs her hand up to the back of his neck, rests it there, and occasionally plays with the hairs at the base of Armando’s neck. She was the first to pull away, she needed to catch a quick breath before being able to continue. Armando uses this moment to speak.

"Let me take care of you cariño."

Not even a second later, the younger woman lets him devour her like she's his last meal. He maneuvers them to the dining room, grabs her hips, and lifts her onto the table in one swift movement. She lets out a soft gasp when he makes contact with her neck. His teeth sink into the soft skin on the left side of her neck. It hurt, but not enough to cry about it. He soothes the small ache by running his tongue over the semi-red spot. She reacts by putting her hand on the back of his neck, never wanting him to stop. He has her panting, softly. The sounds go straight down into his pants. He chooses to ignore it, he's focusing on her.

He detaches himself from her neck to pull off the oversized tee she's wearing. He throws it to the floor. When he looks at her chest he notices the lacy fabric that hugs her breasts.

He lowers himself to where his lips rest right above her ear and whispers, "You drive me fucking crazy, baby."

Armando kneels in front of her and then proceeds to get a hold of her right leg. Before he continues, he looks up at her. God, he looked so fucking hot. His pupils were enflamed and filled with lust.

He starts to kiss his way up her leg, starting at her ankle, and right when he gets to her inner thing, she lets out a soft gasp. She's got him right where she wants him to be. Armando's right-hand grips the waistband of her black athletic shorts, signaling he wants them off. She lifts her hips and lets him do the rest. Armando takes off both her shorts and panties in one go. He was a tease, but not tonight.

He puts his hands on her hips and guides them to the edge of the table. He has full access and without a second left to spare his mouth makes contact with her folds. She shrieks, then it gets repressed into a moan when he finds her clit. He's lapping at her folds but it's not enough, she needs more.

"More, baby, I need more."

He wastes no time and inserts his ring and middle finger into her seeping wet cunt. Her moans are getting louder, and he fucking loves it. He continues by licking her clit, and her orgasm starts to finally peak.

"Oh fuck, yes, right there." She manages to speak through her moans.

Her right-hand finds its way to his dark brown hair, and she takes a fistful of it, not caring if it hurts him or not. He deserved it, after all, he left her alone for two days. She's close to her orgasm and he can feel it. His mouth makes its way to her clit and about 25 seconds later, she's coming undone.

Her sight fades to black and all she can see are stars. Once the image of them fades away, she looks down at Armando, he's licking her clean. She jerks away, from still being sensitive, but his hands immediately find their way to her hips to keep her in place. Not a drop of cum is going to waste. When he’s done he stands and removes his shirt. Y/N's hands go straight to his jeans, the outline of his cock doesn’t go unnoticed, but before she can get the zipper down the oven beeps. Both of their heads turn in the direction of the kitchen and the girls eyes widen in realization.

“What the fu-,”

"Oh my god, the cookies!"

taglist : @Mayalife38535

(if there is a strike through that means i couldn’t tag ur blog!)

to becomes apart of my taglist, there is a link on my navigation page!

[mindless-existence1]

More sfw Mha boyfriend headcanons

Authors note: Kinda a part 2 but does relate to the other one at all. My friend helped me with the Ida stuff so thanks pookie. Also this is kinda an in-between fic just so then I can keep myself motivated to write the requests I have

Contents: I think like one curse word

Pt1

Mha Masterlist

My Masterlist

Includes: Bakugo, Denki, Ida, and Tokoyami

Ida would schedule times to hang out with you when he's free. Not because he like hates you or smth but he just has a very set schedule he likes to stick to. If you want to hang out outside of the set time then most likely it'll turn into a study date.

Denki is a yapper and he often yaps about you. His poor friends have to deal with him mentioning you constantly. Something completely random comes up and he's going "Oh I remember y/n was talking about that one time, speaking of them..." he's a simple man you loves his partner.

Tokoyami is a drawer I feel. He'd have a sketch book/journal he carries around for sure. In a not creepy way he'd draw yiu a lot. Like a muse kind of way. He'd never show you butbthen you find it and he has to explain how he just finds you so perfect and then after that he shows you his drawings.

Bakugo would definitely not even realize how in love with you he is untill kirishima or someone mentions it and then he's noticing how different he acts with you. Have him tied around you damn finger.

Ida definitely wakes up hella early to exercise and specifically run (obviously). He'll try to get you to wake up early to but often times he wants to wake up way to early. You just kiss him goodbye most mornings and fall promptly back to sleep.

Tokoyami is a poet I bet. Or at least a song writer which is basically the same thing. His muse? You. In his journel/sketch book he has poems along with the drawings. Another thing he's probably embarrassed about bit high key he's just in love. He has so much to say but is too embarrassed to say it.

Denki would love to share headphones with you. I fear his tase in music would either be shit or the best in the planet. If it's bad you help him shape it to be better. He'd love to keep his in during class so then he can think about you isntead of whatever boring thing you are getting taught. Also I fear he'd forget to charge them all the time.

Bakugo is the type of guy to tell you no while simultaneously doing it. Like you ask him "could you get me a glass of water?" "No is already getting up to get a glass" or he'd tell you know and wait all of 15 seconds before doing it for you.

Denki when he gets nervous will let out little zaps on accident. As most the tickle or leave a slight sting but nothing crazy. So for your first kiss he's freaking out, obviously, and accidently zaps you. Face is bright red and he's now embarrassed for the rest of his life. Definitely wants to go die in a hole but when you start laughing and kiss him anyway he's fine.

Tokoyami would also like to share earbuds with you but like I said before his music taste is immaculate. Personally I like Korn and maybe im biased but I think he'd like that band to. And just all around metal/rock bands. But also just good music in general. Unlike denki he'd charge his earbuds religiously. He'd die without his music same bro.

Bakugo after a hard day of training would go straight to your dorm. Somehow he thinks it's way more comfortable then his. He just plop down on your bed before a shower before changing clothes anything. Which would be ew but he'd eventually do all that but first he needs a kiss and small cuddle with his partner first.

Ida would look up relationship stuff. This is probably cringe but like I fear he'd get nervous about his first relationship and then all the sudden he's looking up "how long should you date before you kiss your partner?" Eventually he realizes he just needs to take everything at his own speed.

[hansslut]

valentine's day with the yjs ୧ 💌 ୨

cw: pretty much just fluff !!! may have swear words included tho ??

a/n: made this for me and everyone else who's single on valentine's day too :l hope this make you all feel a lil better and ily mwah mwah, happy ( early ) valentine's day babes <3

NATALIE SCATORCCIO

- pretends she hates valentines day and everything that has to do it but deep down she adores it

- will stand awkwardly looking at the different kind of chocolates and sweets and being like "uhmmmm.....reeses are never a bad option i guess?" ALSO I FEEL LIKE she'd ask other people buying stuff for their partners what they're gonna get them cuz she's so confused 😭

- we all know she's a sucker for kisses, cuddles, holding hands, AAAANYTHING that has to do with physical touch but hates showing it so i think she'd use valentine's day as an excuse to be publicly affectionate a bit

- ok that's all i might add more later on

JACKIE TAYLOR

- she's OBSESSED with holidays and celebrations, whether it's valentine's day, christmas, anything

- waking you up at like 7am and being like "hi hi valentine hey you're my valentine it's time to wake up my valentine" while shaking you and smooching you all over

- she's never letting go of you on vday. always clinging by your side, holding your other hand while you're brushing your teeth, talking to you from outside of the door while you're on the toilet, hugging you by the waist when you're cooking

- wearing ridiculous matching outfits with her in PUBLIC. i feel like she'd have those shirts that say "their queen" AND YOU "her king/queen/monarch(☠️)" OR GETTING YOU THOSE SILLY LIL HEADBANDS THINGIES WITH THE JIGGLY HEARTS..

- knows exactly what to buy you and she's already gotten everything prepared😭 it's adorable cause she'll give you a gift of something you forgot you wanted and you're just sitting there standing like :O

SHAUNA SHIPMAN

- ditches you for jackie. end.

- JK. i think she'd just treat it like a regular day honestly

- gets you a chocolate and calls it a day but not in a bad way??? LIKE she already loves you and does a lot of things to show it so she doesn't really think valentine's day is necessary

LOTTIE MATTHEWS

- she's suuuuuuuuch a softie for showing you off and getting to shower you with gifts :(

- she wouldn't wanna go out too much, she'd probably have everything set out already. your gifts hiding in the closet, your sweets hidden in the fridge, everything prepared and on point

- i feel like since some of the yjs were mean to her and telling her to just stop talking and stuff, she'd be kinda closed off at the start and she'd be scared to show you how much she loves and adores you, but then when she sees that you accept and give her the same love back and even more she's SOOOO hyper

- writes you cheesy letters that you keep in your drawer forever and probably even little drawings of your favourite things or you and her 😭

VAN PALMER

- THE SILLY!!!!!MAI SILLY!!!DE SILLY!!!:DD

- arcade dates w them on valentine's day or going like on an amusement park☝️☝️

- they'd go print out some silly t-shirts for y'all... like "i love my van" with a picture of a van LMAOO and they'd make you wear it all the time

- if you want to do smth on that day, you BET you will. they'll never let you down i SWEAR they're the sweetest pookiest babiest to ever exist :(((((((((

TAISSA TURNER

- hates valentine's day more than anything... "what the fuck im NOT wearing that" when you ask her to match outfits with you but does it anyway

- she's miserable doing anything on valentine's day cause she thinks it's cringe but warms up to it when she sees how happy it makes you

- she's the girl that said "happy wife happy life" btw so she'll do anything u ask her to no matter how much she despises it which is.. a lot probably

- gets you a chocolate and takes 2 hours to decide if she should write you a corny letter with it and she scribbles down some ideas but then just puts :)

LAURA LEE

- as a christian we shouldn't be celebrating vday but im not really that religious so????

- but laura lee is so anyways she would be all like "im not going to sin, i don't want to disappoint my lord" 😭😭😭

- she'd still go on a date w you, well more like flower picking and stuff and she'd probably pull out the the bible and start reading to you but you love her too much to say no so you just listen

- ok yeah that's it end of post mwah mwah

[nochukoo97]

seven dates a week - monday

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: a series of you and jungkook’s dates throughout the week, jungkook is a sweetheart and spoils you a lot, too much in your opinion.

word count: 1.2k+

a/n: OMG super excited for this i am going to make this a small series, probably just seven parts to this for each day of the week but here’s the first fic! but i may open a taglist and asks for this if i think it does well ☺️

seven dates a week masterlist!

“one touch and you got me stoned~” jungkook’s voice rings throughout the car as the radio plays, you two starting the day early in the morning by going to a coffee shop for breakfast.

you giggle as you point your camera towards your boyfriend who’s currently singing his heart out and driving. when the car stops at the red light, jungkook looks at the camera as he sings with a dramatic expression on his face, causing you to laugh even more.

“your touch blurred my vision, it’s your world and im just in it- oh shit” your boyfriend halts mid-performance when he realises the car behind him had honked for him to go, jungkook was too engrossed in singing for you he had paid no attention to the red light that was now green.

“baby it’s this one, turn right,” you point towards the little coffee shop at the corner of the road that you had searched up for you and jungkook to go.

as you get out of the car, you excitedly grab your boyfriend’s hand, ready to walk into the coffee shop you had been dying to go to.

“jagi, calm down” jungkook laughs while being forcefully dragged to walk two times as fast to the entrance of the coffee shop.

“ohmygosh- baby look this is so cute!” you squeal as you scan the room, pretty flowers adorn the ceiling and there was even a house cat that lived in the coffee shop, according to the website.

even after the waiter had sat the both of you down and given you the menus to place your order, you quickly got distracted and walked towards the cat laying near the entrance.

“hiii cutie, oh my goodness,” you coo as the cat purrs, flipping over on its back to let you scratch its tummy.

“jagi-ah, you want the matcha latte right?” jungkook calls out as he peers over from the menu.

“yeah, you can order whatever food, i can share with you,” you don’t even look back at your boyfriend as you continue to shower the fat grey cat with attention.

—-

“baby, come the food is here,” your boyfriend calls out to you again, you unwillingly walk back to the table as you bid the cat goodbye.

“NO WAIT-” you nearly scream and jungkook who had a fork in his hand, ready to devour the pancakes prettily plated in front of him.

“jesus, you scared me,” your boyfriend grumbled as he leaned back in his chair, forgetting that you always scolded him whenever he began to eat without allowing you to take photos of the food.

“if you had put the fork in the pancake i would have killed you,” you snap a picture of the pancake, angling it so that jungkook’s torso was in the frame.

“okay now can i eat?” jungkook whines as you snap a couple more, nodding to him as he absolutely destroys the stack of pancakes, making the one’s at the top fall all over the place. you decide to let that slide.

“baby, try my drink,” you hold out your cup towards him, but jungkook only scrunches up his face seeing the green drink he always had a strong hatred to.

“you know i hate that thing, its disgusting,” your boyfriend refuses the offer, but you wont take no for an answer.

“just try it, trust me its like sooooo good,” you definitely weren’t exaggerating in your opinion, but jungkook thinks otherwise.

you laugh as your boyfriend hisses as the drink slides up the straw into his mouth.

“urgh, taste like shit,” he groans as you slap his arm.

“don’t say that here! the staff can hear you!” you scold him but he waves you off anyways.

before you can say anything else, your boyfriend is stuffing a huge mouth of pancakes into your mouth as you can only frown at him.

he snaps a picture on his phone.

“baby what do u think about getting matching bracelets, i saw a shop had one and its pretty cute,” jungkook talks to you as you nod, still chewing the huge amount of pancakes in your mouth.

“urgh, you stuffed so much in my mouth,” you say as you dramatically gasp for air after swallowing.

“isn’t the first time i did that,” he’s smirking as if he was very proud of his comment.

“jungkook!” you hiss at him as you look around, thankfully the cafe was not too packed, so hopefully no one heard.

“i wasn’t lying,”

the audacity to give you a sly smile.

——

“babe, why are we at cartier,” you ask, as jungkook drags you by the hand into the shop before you can resist

“what do you mean?” he smiles back at you, “to buy our bracelets!”

your jaw drops as your boyfriend is grinning widely at you.

“baby, nonono- we can’t do this, it’s so much money,” you start to try and pull your hand away from him, but your boyfriend is too strong to let go.

“why not, it can be our anniversary gift!” he pulls you closer to him and wraps his arm around your waist, leading you towards the display cases.

“babe, our anniversary was two months ago and you bought me an expensive handbag, don’t make excuses,” you whine as you want to run out of the store, not wanting your boyfriend to spend so much money on you for the millionth time this year.

“it’s okay baby i want this, even if you don’t want it ill wear both for myself,” he sits you down on the chair at the display case as he tells the staff which piece of jewelry he wants to see.

“we both know you will end up making me wear one,”

“exactly”

so thats how you ended up with two cartier love bracelets, one on each of you, that cost way more than you want to imagine.

but you thank jungkook for it anyways.

——

your last destination for the day is the mall, to run a few errands like picking up groceries for the house.

but your terrible at sticking to the plan as you drag jungkook into the store that caught your attention.

jungkook groans as you begin to saunter towards the giant eevee plushie at the near end of the small shop.

“baby, come on, let’s stick to our plan and go to the supermarket,” jungkook tries to gently coax you away from that terrible giant piece of fluff that you might eventually convince him to let you bring home.

“but baby, i really really need this,” you pout at the huge plushie, pointing towards it as you slowly manage to drag your boyfriend closer and closer to it.

each step was a step closer to victory.

——-

“i can’t believe i have this huge ass thing in the back of my car right now,”

you frown at your boyfriend’s mean and horrible words.

“don’t say that to eevee, you will make her cry,” you smack your boyfriend’s arm as he looks at you in offense

“that thing can’t hear me and it doesn’t have feelings baby, it’s okay,”

“don’t call it a thing!”

in the end jungkook is forced to give your new plushie a big warm welcome into your shared apartment as he sets the huge soft toy down in the middle of the living room.

[toxic3mmy]

Holaa, perdón por no mandarla antes pero andaba ocupada con tareas. Bueno mi idea era que el lector se enferma cuando Quackity esta de viaje en México y se lo intenta ocultar, tipo cuando el la llama ella pretende andar bien cuando no, solo para no preocuparlo pero al final el se entera.

me encanta la idea! gracias por el request!!

prompt: alex finds out that you’re sick while he’s in mexico

lovey dovey, sweet alex bf, you’re feeling sickly, fluff

no warnings, all fluff!!!

________________________________________

it was christmas time. the weather was very cold and it made you feel even more alone. your boyfriend alex was in mexico for the holidays. you were home alone, left to deal with a terrible cold.

it was the second week since alex left and you woke up in a cold sweat. your head was spinning and you felt the worst you’ve ever felt. you grab the thermometer on your bedside table and stick it in your mouth. as you wait for the beep, your body starts shaking and you realize you definitely aren’t okay.

“103.6…. wow, that’s too high” you whisper to yourself

at that same moment, your phone was ringing and you saw it was alex facetiming you. you quickly flatten your messy hair and wipe your sweaty face before answering.

“hi my love… how are you?”

you smile at his voice and respond in a slightly raspy manner,

“hi alex… im fine, i just miss you a lot”

“y/n are you sure you’re okay? you sound like you’re sick.. do i need to come home early? i hate that you’re alone and you seem super sick or—”

“no! um… no im fine! i just woke up so it’s probably why my voice is so raspy. don’t ruin your holiday for me, please? i know how much you love to be in mexico with your family for christmas and new years… i just want you to have fun okay?”

after a few silent moments he finally responds,

“yeah… okay y/n. but i swear to god you better not be lying to me about being sick or i swear…”

“you’ll what? fly back this very instant? haha, very funny” you tease

“oh just you wait chiquita, you won’t be laughing when im… never mind. anyways, i hope you’re doing well and i seriously miss your carita linda y/n. i have to go now but, te extraño tanto”

“i love you… take care baby”

and at that moment, alex noticed something in the corner of the facetime. he saw a bunch of used tissues, mugs with tea, and your thermometer on your bedside table. before the two of you hung up, alex quickly screenshot the facetime and said goodbye.

he looked closer at the image and saw there were medicines there, too. the thermometer, although unreadable from this angle, glowed a red light on the screen indicating that the temperature was feverish. alex was more than worried. as he explained the situation to his family, they all agreed that he should go home to tend to his beloved girlfriend.

back at home, y/n was getting worse. you struggled to sleep because of how badly your lungs were hurting and filling with nasty phlegm. your fever hadn’t gone down one bit. damn those cheap fever pills.

you had planned on showering but you need to work up the energy and so you took a long needed nap.

at the same time, alex had already hopped on a plane and was just about to land in california. he caught an uber to the nearest grocery store and collected everything he needed to help you. he quietly walked into your shared home and heard you lightly snoring from your bedroom.

he got to work immediately. he made the best mexican caldo de pollo con arroz that he could, just like his mother taught him. after a bit, he heard you getting up and assumed you were going to shower and so he continued to cook.

you were feeling absolutely awful now but you figured maybe a shower will do the trick. you stepped into the shower and the hot water felt very soothing. suddenly, you began to feel very lightheaded and see darkness creeping in from your peripheral vision. you saw black all at once.

alex heard a loud thud and quickly ran up to your restroom to see y/n unconscious and passed out in the shower.

“oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck… y/n please! im here, please wake up amor” alex hurriedly changed the water to cold and began to splash you awake. you saw black and then a flash of bright light came over you as you heard the most angelic voice ever.

“alexis?” you whispered in a confused manner

“oh my god y/n! im so so sorry i left you. you passed out and it scared me and i—“

“what are you doing here? you were just in mexico this morning..”

“mi amor,” he began as he wrapped my body in a blanket and ran the bath so i could get clean, “i saw all those things on your bedside table when i called you earlier and the moment i saw that red thermometer, i knew you weren’t okay”

you were in shock, you felt so many emotions and couldn’t even get one word out

“come here baby, sit in the tub and i’ll get your clothes ready okay?”

you nodded and sat in the warm bubbly tub. it felt nice and you didn’t have to waste your energy standing up. alex laid out some comfortable clothes for when you finished and he returned to the bathroom.

“close your eyes mi princesa” you obliged and felt alex scrubbing your long hair with shampoo.

you felt so relaxed and so grateful for your sweet boyfriend. you were too tired to say or do much so you let him bathe you. he soon helped you out of the bath and into some warm and comfortable clothes. he laid you in bed and left for a few minutes.

you closed your eyes and began to drift off into sleep. you woke up when you heard alex come back. he had a little table set up with some soup, a warm tea, and some medicine.

“i’m not upset with you okay? i just wish you had told me you weren’t feeling well… i mean, what would have happened if i weren’t here when you passed out in the shower? i just want you to be okay y/n.. so please, just let me take care of you okay?”

all you could do was nod and alex began to give you medicine for your fever and body pain. then he slowly started to feed you warm soup. it was very delicious. he also helped you drink your warm tea.

“alex… thank you so much for everything. im sorry i decided not to tell you but im really glad that you’re here with me. i feel better already”

alex smiled and continued to feed you. soon he helped you lay down and he tucked you in. he played some background noise and gave you a kiss on your forehead.

“te amo y/n… im sorry youre not feeling well… i hope you get better soon mi amor”

and with that, you fall asleep soundly.

[chaoticmannamedoliver]

Okay so, below is a health ish update and a vent about my former GP- cause they did smth that feld dehumanizing. This is mostly just so other people who might have similar health issues to me, can point me into right directions....im iffy about doctors rn-

Contents:

- stupid thing my GP did

- listing of my pains i have that neither of my 2 GP's ive been to acknowledged or bothered with. If you have something similar or know ANYTHING, i really need help, even just little things to make it easier.

- So, what my last gp did -

So i had an appointment with her recently that i took my boyfriend too since he was visiting me anyway- love him

I sat down, and the whole appointment was just a disappointment. She basically gave up on figuring out why im dizzy or why my blood pressure is so high with 18. I asked what im supposed to do with my heart, what im supposed to do about the dizzy- that i came to her for answers- but the woman who seemed so keen on finding out whats wrong with me, cursing my first gp for just prescribing me HBP Meds without further research and who daid she loved working with young adults...just apparently gave up n said is nothing n that i should just continue talking my meds. I had my shitty ass cane to the appointment with me, which she asked about - and i said it helped me with my dizzy, to which she rolled her eyes

She offered one more test, probably just to get me out and left for a bit to talk with a doctor. In the meantime i had a breakdown because i got no answers- and didn't get any further.

When she came back, she told me to get up and go straight, i asked to where exactly- then she grabbed my arm, took my cane from me and with a very uncomfortable grip, dragged me to the waiting area in front of the room for the last test and sat me down, giving the cane to my probably very taken aback partner who had followed us and mutteredthat i didn't need it and. I had another breakdown and didn't understand what happened yet- but it felt bad, dehumanizing?? GP asked me not to cry, and that what she did was just to give me courage and then just left. It felt like she never listened to anything i said- and i still don't know what to make of what happened - if anyone has suggestions- do tell? It felt....hurtful

- My issues and ows and whatnot -

So, there are a few, especially now that i have someone who actually tells me that they're not normal.

- my feet/heels start hurting after 5 ish minutes of standing

- i get dizzy if i stand for a minute or two on bad days and good days it kicks after 1-10 minutes

- heat and shower makes dizzy worse. A sitting think in the shower would make it better

- i have too high blood pressure if i don't take the meds.

- no, the dizzy doesn't come from any ear organ stuff. Tested that.

- the dizzy had gotten. Better after the meds, now its hard to tell.

- sometimes my gravity just says no.

- after maybe 30 min to an hour of walking, my feet/heels hurt. After a certain point i get dizzy. Then no amount of break will fix it. I need to lay down.

- without my cane, walking feels heavy. Please let me use my cane for fucks sake im going to hit the next doctor who says i don't need it i swear to GOD.

- growth pain. After a day of walking. Or cleaning. My knees and shins hurt. Especially once im laying again. They hurt so much that i want to claw at them. Take them out. Agony. Luckily ive started to recognize the kinda pain early and take a paracetamol- but without it? Not matter what position, im in pain

I don't think im supposed to have growth pain anymore with almost 19, right?

- when i get dizzy, the ground feels like its zooming away from me

- i was born at the end of the 6th month? If that helps any-

- inherited migraines from my dad- also just side info

[valyrou]

pleassssseeee give me lúcio relationship hcs plssss im so desperate thanks in advance :3

(gn reader)

A/N: HELLO! It’s exactly 12Am as I wrote this and I cannot sleep for the life of me so we are doing my request box lolol. (I‘m such an inconsistent writer it’s embarrassing…) anyways… I hope you like my Headcanons Anon!

Warnings: not proof read. Any spelling mistakes are apologized for in advance. My eyes are burning

Overwatch

Lúcio x Gn! Reader

My boy is SHY

In the early stages of the relationship you will have to show lots of affection until he gets into the whole „Relationship thing“

Just because of his Valentine’s Day voice line I WILL PUT MY ASS ON A GRILL THAT THAT MAN HAS NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE

He‘d be very shy at first and be kinda afraid to touch you (romantically not in sexy way ofc) but when you both got comfortable enough with each other in the relationship he will be ALL OVER you

Tangled up legs in bed

Always an arm around your shoulder (if you‘re shorter then him)

If you‘re taller then him then arm around your Hip

I‘d say hand holding would feel a little weird to him at first, but when you just take his hand one day in public, he‘d never let your hand go again

Public affection? Yessir. He wouldn’t mind the media picking up on his s/o unless of course you don’t want to

Please give him massages he‘d like that

Makes you mixtapes and probably has songs dedicated to you

Always lets you hear his unfinished music first

Dates in discos VIP lounge or in diners but more of a candlelight-dinner-at-home kinda guy

Loooong hugs before and after missions

You will have to shower him in kisses when he comes back

If you‘re also part of Overwatch then protective Lucio is on the run

He will be your personal medic (might aswell put on mercy’s attire at this point)

Will help you train

Long, dreamy eye contact

He could look at you for hours

Going back to his career, he will tell you all the time that you are his „muse“ and that you inspire him in all sorts

You two will most definitely have matching costumes for Halloween and shit

Lucio writes you letters if he‘s alone on a mission for a longer period of time

It’s starting of with how he is doing and how the mission is going but trails off on how much he misses and loves you

Dream duo if both of you are on a mission together

Would Kisses your scars and wounds

Kisses on the cheek and forehead I can imagine

He will gently stroke your hair behind your ear and smile like a puppy or if you‘re bold would give you massages

OHHHH big spoon for suuuure

Likes to hold you with your back to his chest so he can nuzzle into the crook of your neck

He will treat you like royalty if you want to

You are his top priority. Anything else can wait

The most loyal man I know

[laurensxdeath]

Fate

Emily Prentiss x reader

Emily is your soulmate, but you're convinced you aren't hers. (soulmate/soulmark au)

Thanks @ghost-rattan for helping me with this :)

When you turn 15, your soulmate's name appears on your wrist. Emily Prentiss.

You find her when you join the FBI. You're wearing long sleeves that day, so she doesn't notice her name tattooed on your wrist as you shake hands. You decide it's probably best to keep it this way for now, and you continue wearing long sleeved shirts to work everyday.

You like Emily, more than you probably should for knowing someone such a short amount of time.

It starts soon after you join the team. She welcomes you, as do the rest of the team. But with her it's different. She makes you feel like you really belong, you haven't had that before. Maybe that's why it started.

It's about after a month you've joined the team, You, Emily, JJ And Penelope are all having a girl's night. After being questioned relentlessly by Penelope about her soulmate, Emily tells everyone.

"Yes, I've met her. We've been dating for a while and just moved in together" she says, rolling her eyes. Your heart shatters. Emily was in love with someone else. To caught up in the conversation, you excuse yourself to get another drink and no one notices as you slip out of the apartment.

You just drive around in your car aimlessly for a while, thinking. You eventually end up back at your apartment. You park your car and check your phone. It had been blown up with notifications from the girls' asking where you went. You sigh before typing out a response.

JJ

Y/n/n where did you go? Call me back please, we're worried about you.

- 10:47PM

Hey JJ, sorry I wasn't feeling

well and needed to clear my head. Im alright, didn't mean to make you stress. -11:07PM

You unlock your door, tears leaking from your eyes. Frustratedly you wipe them away and go to bed. You find it difficult to sleep, just laying in bed thinking. You eventually drift off.

You wake up to your alarm buzzing. You hadn't slept much. You eat and shower, you search your closet for what to wear. As you reach for a shirt your wrist catches your eye. Emily's name. You take a deep breath, and try to forget about it. It didn't matter anyway.

You'd do what you'd always done when you caught feelings for someone, you'd distance yourself until you got over them.

At least there wasn't a case today, not that paperwork was much fun. You just didn't feel like you could think about anything else properly today.

You walk out of the elevator and Emily's the first to greet you. "Hey Y/n! You feeling alright today? JJ mentioned that's why you left early last night" you grit your teeth, not wanting to talk about it.

"Yeah, much better" she frowns as if she doesn't believe you. "You know you can talk to me?" She reaches for your hand and you don't meet her eyes. "Yeah, I know" you say as you walk away. You glance back over her shoulder and see her frowning at you. Maybe it's best you weren't near her right now.

You make your way over to Garcia's room and she greets you enthusiastically. You give her a small half smile and she questions if you're still feeling off.

"Yeah, a little" you tell her. She frowns at you. "What's the matter?" You sigh. "I'm sorry, I really don't want to talk about it right now" you tell her. She nods. "Okay but I'm here when you're ready!" You smile at her. "Thanks Pen"

You make an instant coffee, and walk back to your desk to get started. You place your earphones in to block out the world around you and manage to work undisturbed until lunch.

You feel a tap on your shoulder. You take an earphone out and turn around to see Emily. "Hey, it's lunch. Have you eaten yet?" You shake your head. "No, I've been working I'll have something later" she frowns. "work can wait a few minutes, let's go get something to eat" you want to, but remind yourself that you're trying to get over her. and the best way to do that is by avoiding her. "I'll have something later, Emily. I want to finish this" she looks sad. Can't she just ask JJ or someone? She walks away and you put your earphone back in.

She walks back in a few minutes later, puts a sandwich on your desk and goes back to her own work. You're starting to hate the butterflies she gives you.

At the end of the day you rush out to your car, hoping she won't try to talk to you again. You drive back to your apartment and immediately get changed into cooler clothes, you could finally wear short sleeves now that you're back.

You turn on the tv and watch that for a few hours. It's good to focus on something other than Emily.

You're about to get up to order takeaway, but you hear a knock at your door. You pause the tv and go to answer it. You open the door and find Emily there.

"Emily?" She smiles. "Hey Y/n/n. Can I come in?" You give a small nod and move out of the way. She gestures for you to follow her and you both sit down on the couch. You fold your arms, unconsciously keeping your tattooed wrist hidden.

"I can tell something's going on with you, you're upset about something and pushing me away. Why?" You don't answer right away, you just sit there with your arms folded while you stare at the ground. "Nothing is wrong Emily. I don't know what you hope to achieve by coming here" you tell her, but she still isn't convinced.

She reaches for your hand and her fingers gently trace against your wrist, you don't even register that it's not covered. "Y/n/n? What's this?" She's says. You freeze.

Fuck. You weren't wearing long sleeves. She'd seen her name on your wrist. You yank your hand back from her gentle grip, as you stand up and wrap your arms around yourself.

You can feel tears pooling in your eyes and you force yourself to breathe normally even though you're panicking.

"I think you should go, Emily" you don't look at her. "Y/n, look at me. Please" you feel sick. She wasn't supposed to find out. She's already met her soulmate.

Tears start to spill from your eyes and you wipe them away quickly. Emily stands in front of you and takes your hand again, but you still refuse to look at her. "Y/n/n, Look at my wrist" you meet her eyes, before looking down at her wrist.

She's removed her watch, that once covered a tattoo of her soulmark. Of your name.

Emily interlaces her fingers with yours. "You're my soulmate too, y/n" you're to confused to speak yet, didn't she have a soulmate already?

"Is this why you've been acting off lately? Why you left Garcia's that night without telling anyone? I remember you only left after we started talking about my partner" You pull your hand back and lean against the wall behind you, crossing your arms in front of you.

"I know you already have a partner Em, this doesn't have to mean anything" you tell her. You wouldn't make her choose. You shut your eyes and try to stop crying as your head rests on the wall behind you.

You only open your eyes again as you feel Emily's hand rest gently on your cheek, wiping away your tears. "Y/n/n, I'm not dating anyone. I only said that to Garcia so she'd leave the topic alone. I love you, you're my soulmate" she says, resting her forehead against yours.

You smile up at her as you lightly thread your fingers through her hair and kiss her gently.

"I love you too, Emily"

I'm still fairly new to writing, feedback is appreciated :)

[freys-dumpster-fire]

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOUR OCS AND AUS ARE

OMG YAYYY OK OK SO I HAVE A COUPLE OCS BUT ONLY ONE OF THEM HAS. A BACKSTORY SO SOL THE JACKAL TIME!!!

im not putting an image bc it would take up a lot of space and this post is going to be LONG but if you look up sonic oc on my blog you’ll probably find him

so sol was created as basically a “backup plan” to shadow? Idk gun tried to make their own version of shadow basically and just kinda. Got this random orphan and were like “you are going to be an experiment now” his backstory does not have all of the bells and whistles worked out as you can tell

he has cool powers now though!!! Since gun didn’t have an actual chaos emerald his powers come from negative energy from fake chaos emeralds (he is an edgy little guy ok let me indulge)

but yk project shadow kinda. Ended very badly so he also got put into stasis. He’s mostly angsty about never getting a childhood

ANYWAY AU TIME!! I DO NOT HAVE A NAME FOR THIS AU!! BUT IT’S THE ONE WITH SONIC BEING KINDA A CYBORG

so THE MAIN DIFFERENCES are 1. Sonic being adopted by eggman 2. Gun didn’t immediately jump to killing everyone on the ARK and 3. Cosmo is here. Bc i wanted cosmo to be here

im gonna talk about cosmo and tails first because they are like probably my favorite part of the AU!!! Tails met Sonic in a very similar way as they met in sonic X (i really like sonic X can you tell) the main difference being Tails didn’t end up meeting sonic again after that

they met 4 years before when most of the stuff takes place (so tails was 6 and sonic was. 11? 12? I haven’t decided if he’s 15 or 16) and that was pretty much the formative moment for tails ever and he’s kinda always been like “where did he go… i wanna meet that guy again” and then he sees sonic on the news (in disguise but his big ol quills are pretty recognizable) so he’s like “IS THAT” and that leads to him ending up with amy and eventually shadow who are both looking for sonic (shadow because gun was like “let him out of the vault we gotta get rid of this blue guy”) (also tails lives in a plane like in the sonic OVA)

Cosmo is pretty much just Cosmo but with a dash of amnesia in there (girly does NOT know why she’s on earth)— Tails was watching a meteor shower and cosmo’s escape pod crashes down to where he is and they get to be silly together and dark oak does not exist and the metarex do not exist because season 3 ruined me emotionally and i want them to be happy (i’m considering her having some frutiger aero influence in her redesign but idk if i can make it work)

ONTO AMY THOUGH!! She’s pretty similar to normal amy but with some inspiration from Misa Amane in there for her design and personality (i started watching death note a month or two ago and i’m enjoying it alot!)

ALSO MARIA IS ALIVE! (Since the ark was never stormed in this au she gets to live) She’s currently on earth and since Shadow had been un frozen she’s basically the one taking care of him and stuff they are friends yay :) She has to use a cane due to her illness and there is medicine now (not a cure, but it makes things manageable). She’s in her early 60’s :D

and uhhh wowie i talked a whole lot there XD but yeah that is the silliness that goes on in my head

[applejuicefruit]

Hi loveee Im literally obsessed with your writing so i thought i would submit a request 🤭

Could you write an Olivier giroud x reader!F magine where reader is sick bc of her period and he just take care of her

just overall A LOTT of fluff 🫶🏻

This was the request I needed since it’s currently my shark week 🥲

tw: period pain

olivier giroud x reader

Shark week

You were currently laying in bed while eating some chips trying your best to not to cry. The pain filling your lower stomach was hitting you very hard. Cramps and headache never leaving you from the moment you woke up this morning and what made it worse was that you were spending this horrible day all alone because your boyfriend Olivier was at practice and he would be home very late.

Your period pain was always the worst. You hated how it made you bloated and emotionally unstable. One moment you were happy and the next moment you were crying and screaming. All you needed in this moment was Olivier and his huge hands who always worked miracle on your skin when you were on your periods.

Unfortunately you had to wait a few more hours before he was at home again so you tried to sleep, tired and drained from waking up very early this morning due to the pain you were feeling.

Some noises coming from the living room woke you up so you decided to check what was happening, still too tired to even care if a thief just got into your apartment.

Your face lifted up when you saw Olivier making something to eat in the kitchen.

“Oli…” you hugged him from behind.

“Hey mon amour” he turned around so he could kiss you “you were sleeping I didn’t want to wake you up…” he said caressing your cheek.

“No it’s okay…I wasn’t getting much sleep anyway” you confessed and he looked at you a bit worried. He wasn’t there when you woke up this morning so he didn’t know you started your period yet.

“Is everything okay?” he asked you.

“What? Oh yes I simply got my period…not a joyful morning…not a joyful day at all” you laughed a bit trying to ease the tension.

Olivier knew you and he knew how much you suffered from period pain and he hated seeing you in pain.

“I’m so sorry baby…” he hugged you.

“It’s okay…it’s something I can’t do nothing about it anyway so…” you said keeping your head on his chest.

“But I can do something…” he smirked at you and you had no idea of what he was talking about “…why don’t you do to bed uh? I’ll get you something to eat and some pain killers and then we can lay in bed all night long watching some movies? What you say?” he said with a hopeful smile.

You loved how he knew you so good.

“I say it’s perfect” you smiled at him.

“Okay…go to bed baby…I’ll be right back” he told you and you went straight into the bedroom and laid under your fluffy blankets waiting for him to come back.

He came back almost twenty minutes later and he brought you your favorite dish. He got you some smoked salmon with some fries and you couldn’t believe he just cooked your favourite meal just for you.

“Thank you so much Oli…” you almost started crying if it wasn’t for him showering your face with small kisses.

He got in bed with you and he helped you laying between his legs, your head on his chest and his arms around your waist gently massaging and keeping you warm where you were hurting. You started to eat and started to feel a little more comfortable, probably it was only Olivier’s presence but he made you feel better in just a few minutes. You started watching your favourite tv show and once you were done eating he gave you some pain killers just to help you with your headache and cramps. You really weren’t fond of pain killers or medicines in general when it was about your period but you knew that sometimes they were necessary, otherwise you would be crying on the floor in this moment.

You snuggled more into Olivier trying as his hand went straight to your hair, gently stroking it because he knew how much you loved when he did it.

“You feeling better?” he asked you and you hummed to lost in the comfort of his arms.

“Thank you Oli…” you whispered.

“It’s okay baby you don’t have to thank me…you know how much I love taking care of you…and you know how much I hate seeing you in pain…” he said while his other hand went back on your stomach, massaging the same spot where it hurt the most. That gave you a sense of peace for a bit and with the pain killers kick in it you felt much better.

“Still…you didn’t have to do that for me…” you murmured.

“I love doing it…taking care of you is my favorite thing in the world” he kissed your cheek.

“You love it more than football?” you smirked.

“Yes. I love you more than football” he confessed and you pretended to be shocked. You knew that he would drop his football career if you asked him to do so. He would do anything for you.

“Fine…I believe you” you joked and he laughed.

“You better believe me future Madame Giroud” he called you and your eyes went straight to the engagement ring you were wearing, only thinking about that in a couple of months you would be the one in white.

“That sounds amazing…” you referred to the way he called you a few moments before.

“I know…” he whispered with a smile never leaving his face.

You got a bit tired and Olivier felt that so before sleeping you went to the bathroom and did all of your things, you took a quick shower and then changed clothes and when you got back in bed he helped you laying down as he scooped you into his arms so he could keep you warm. You fell asleep just by listening to the rhythm of his heart and that was your favourite way to fall asleep.

[crguang]

hfghdsahfkh played the first part of bleu's event (i'm actually sleeping today lol, so I'll finish it tmrw). don't rlly like the french but she gets a pass. her voice is rlly nice, and the way the en va said allons-y...chief to be peeking in her window like she's making up a movie. also she's really hot, like hello? her pinning chief to the wall, omg, i can't. "two sets of breath and body heat intertwine in mutual hostility," bleu feeling chief's pulse, like what. and she smokes so, ig i can forgive her for being french /s.

her stroking that flower. her fingers. with the rings. that's all I'm saying.

how is chief seeing and hearing all of this tho, maybe I just have vision and hearing, but I swear she's probably falling off her balcony 😭

art is very pretty tho, but why is chief peeking when she got out of the shower, like i'm pretty sure that's not necessary for her mission. also the wind is on a mission to get us to smell everything. and she knew we were watching the entire time...very curious to see what is going to happen...

but anyway, i'll finish the event tmrw, and I'll prob take a day before I continue the main story, bc i am getting kinda overwhelmed lol. i was supposed to go to start classes again tmrw, but my profs cancelled bc it snowed like a couple feet, could not have handled starting again, and i have to wake up super early when i do have to go 😭 I'm not ready.

hope ur getting ur rest! writing fics at 4am, ik you're down bad. speaking of which, i gotta go read that.

-🌠

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT LIKE THE FRENCH SHE SOUNDS SO CUTE….. i think hatred for france aside if she opens doors for upcoming sinners to have different accents/first languages than english im all for it like it would be so nice to have more diversity in the cast. also i just love hearing about languages i dont speak its very hot to me. BUT HER ALLONS-Y OMFGGGG I MENTIONED THAT LIKE JUST DAYS AGO??? when she first said it i screamed because 1) no french accent is a win for me 2) SHE SOUNDS SO GOODDDDDD AGHHHHH

im reading your ask giggling like a schoolgirl cause yeah she is so sexy…. i love smokers (as we know), the way she got all up on chief like that was crazy bit chief acting like the protagonist in an A24 coming of age movie was even better. like what do you mean you’re imagining her slipping out of her nightgown and dropping it in a chair…? okay. then they got bleu fingering a flower right afterwards i still can’t believe it, this was insane. and apparently in cn media flowers are often used to represent sex so i dont even know what to think rn 😭😭😭😭 im ngl this scene got me writing her fingering r and making them suck on her fingers as we speak it rewired my brain

i have absolutely no idea how chief is hearing all those minute sounds but im guessing some of it is bleu’s ability, im not fully grasping how it works but i cant explain it another way. though if my neighbour was a sexy woman id strain my ears to hear everything too

good luck on school this semester, hope you’ve rested a bit. it snowed here too and its colddddd wahhhhh

[squid-ink-symphony]

ok time to talk about my fav agent ships bcuz i am v normal (also i am a multishipper so i like a lot of stuff)

First off: 4 x 8!!!! my beloveds!!! and they were roommates! i see this sort of a mirror of pearlina in a way since 4 would show 8 around and 4 is also a chaos gremlin(but more competent than pearl in a lot of ways). and 8 rlly looks up to marina i think(pearl too ofc) and i like the idea of marina teasing her like "wow u also have a short squid gf?". also just like.. their dynamic is so everything to me. both of them are so gender like 4 is a boy who is kind of a girl. and 8 is a girl who is kind of a boy. do you see my vision? they are made for each other. and i can see them being like pearlina but in a new era since 8 doesnt have to worry about telling 4 shes an octoling. so both of them can get to know each other and share their cultures in a way that pearl and marina couldnt up until post octo expansion. just like THE PARALLELS OK???? and i dont just like them cuz i also like pearlina. i like them for their own unique dynamic. they just fit together so well. i think they compliment each others strengths and weaknesses while also not being so different that they cant get along.

next: 3 x neo 3. i thought 4 x 8 was underrated... but this??? ig its just cuz 3 has more popular ships and neo 3 is so new. i know a lot of ppl view them more as a mentor situation w neo 3 being much younger. but in my mind i just cannot picture the agents hanging out w 3, 8, and 4 all being late teens/early 20s and then just..... 16 yo neo 3.. it does work sometimes if u view them as like a younger sibling or just the younger one of the group. or even just like.. there. i can see them as an apprenitce of sorts to 3. and thats cool and all but since im not that young and i project on my agents when i play as them in my mind neo 3 is in the 17-19 range. but i see them as 18 specifically. so 18 yo neo 3 and 21 yo 3. and in my mind 3 is kinda silly(have u seen them in splat1?) but trying to be professional and takes a look at neo 3 w all their terrible looking ripped up clothes and questionable hygiene and scavenger swag and goes "how could i not be attracted to that?". and 3 tries not to show it cuz like.. this is their new recruit??? and yet 3 finds themselves going easy on neo 3 andbeing rlly sweet. and callie or marie catches on and probably teases them about it in private. and callie tries to play matchmaker or see if neo 3 likes 3. and on the other end..... neo 3 is probably distracted when they first meet 3. but when they are taking a break at the camp hanging out w lil buddy they finally notice 3. and neo 3 finally takes a look at them. and its like?? not love at first sight like it was w 3. but neo 3 likes them. no offense to agents 1 and 2, but neo 3 immediately lowkey distrusted them since they looked too "pristine" if that makes any sense? so neo 3 sees 3 and is like!!! !!!!! this is my new bestie!!!! and starts becoming attached to 3. and so neo 3 comes to bother 3 at their seat and talk to them and 3 gets so flustered but doesnt show it and only 1 and 2 can tell. and they continue to poke fun at 3. and lowkey try to hint to neo 3. but neo 3 is a brick wall when it comes to sublety. but then eventually they realize they like 3. so they gather a bunch of cool rocks and shiny things off the floor and walk up to 3 and go "here take this and also please be my partner" and 3 is so in love. and they flirt constantly and both of them hate taking showers and have to be reminded to . and also little buddy is their new child (jokingly. i see lil buddy as neo 3s younger sibling) i can see neo 3 coming up to 3 and flirting w them and 3 flirting back and them getting distracted and aro marie coming in to jokingy make fun of them and tell them to get back to work. and when the rest of the agents meet neo 3 they would jokingly get mad that neo 3 gets special treatment from 3.

anyway.... also 3 x 4 x 8 x neo 3..... it is a top tier poly ship. all of them. i think 3, 4, and 8 would get to know each other and date after octo expansion takes place. and then when 3 has to deal w splat 3s story mode they meet neo 3 and fall in love and they meet back up w 4 and 8 and is like yooo..... uhh... what if i just.... expanded the polycule? and the other 2 were like ur literally so swagless (but we love u) how did u do that? and then 3 brings out neo 3 and the other are just like.... oh god theres another one. anyway i think they would get along w neo 3 too and maybe end up dating them as well

ALS MY MOST OBSCURE SHIP YET 4 x neo 3. this one is so good, like both of them are chaotic and goofy. yet 4 is a nerd and neo 3 is probably a war criminal. so like.. opposite sides of the insanity spectrum. they would hang out and neo 3 would ask how bombs are made and 4 would explain it thinking its just curiousity and then look over to see neo 3 contrusting a bomb out of everything around them. and its not like neo 3 is dumb. they are also smart just like.. not in a geeky book smarts way like 4 probably is. more like ... idk how to describe it but different? anyway their dynamic would be SO good. you just have to trust me on this.

[cugzarui]

thinking about bens arc so far

starting out with a boy who wants to be a hero, but cant

he gets a powerful device that lets him be a hero, gets a few wins

realizes he can also be a hero without the device. wins some more

gets full of himself. he did it after all. hes a hero. he made it. hes awsome and legendary and doesnt need to worry about anything

gets his ass handed to him and begins to realize he still has a lot more to learn

blows off some steam and has it blow up in his face

on this losing streak he sees there is another way. he doesn't have to listen to other people. he can be a hero the way he wants to be

the guy who showed him the other way turns out to be eeeevvilllll

yet another screw up under his belt. and lets add just one more just for the hell of it. and make this one really hurt.

you feeling sorry for this kid yet? well you're about to feel even sorrier when he decides his family is better off without him. and why wouldn't they be? he keeps screwing up after all.

they come back for him. because the biggest screw up of all, is thinking your family is better off without you (queue audience tears up. but no really the episode sells it really well actually).

with the power of friendship, familial love, and even anime on his side, our fledgling hero saves the day. and just in time too, because plot is on the horizon, and its serious this time.

we are preparing, for the bbeg.

so for real tho

i did say in a previous post that ben 10 is more a compilation of other works, and the tennysons themselves arnt actually all that interesting. and i still stand by that statement, but boy did i pick a bad time to make it.

bens going through what is not only a sort of coming of age story where he learns what it truly means to be a hero, but also a disillusionment story where, he learns, what it truly means, to be, a hero. im still waiting for the point where he forgets his old lessons and has to relearn them; and maybe because this is still the first series (and early first series at that) we still haven't reached that point. this plot is fresh. its new and interesting. im at episode what? 8? 9? and the storys been pretty good so far is all im saying.

this kid thought heros were all about physically perilous situations and beating up bad guys. so when he got the power to handle that he got all excited, and then after he finally got some wins under his belt he got cocky thinking he made it as a hero. but if theres one certainty in life is itll knock you flat on your ass and no matter what kinda super powers youve got youre only really as untouchable as your support network. something which a lot of people - including ben - don't realize before its too late. and when they do realize it, when ben realizes it, it scares him. it pushes him to radical action, and to a change in mindset and not always a good change either. he starts to think being a hero isn't really fun at all. then he realizes that even if it isnt fun, its still something that needs to be done regardless, even at great cost to himself, because hes the one who has to do it. thats a lot of growing up for a ten year old to do in a summer.

good thing hes wrong

yes heroing isn't really about fun and games. it's something you do not because you want to do it but because it needs doing. but that doesn't mean it cant be fun anyway, or that you have to go it alone. just because you sometimes have to sacrifice yourself, doesn't mean you dont also get to be selfish. and ben learns this sooner rather than later.

he would've probably learned it even sooner if max was better at explaining it though

i mean its kinda hard to blame max ben did just get them kicked out of a prepaid four star hotel before gwen even got to take a shower. a real shower. for the first time this entire summer. and i know i cant easily just dish out life lessons to youngsters whenever they need to hear them (youd think being an adult meant youre full of wisdom and experience you can whip out at a moments notice but guess that was just me being fooled by the excellent marketing and extra height)

i do gotta say i knew i would sympathize with max a lot more and understand him a lot more on this rewatch since im an adult too now and i was not wrong. imagine prepaying for a fancy and expensive hotel, and the first thing that happens when you get there is your grandkid gets you banned for life and the guard literally throws your suitcase out at you when you leave (what was with that guy anyway?) and not only that you also have to go back to talk to the staff and try to get a refund. i think i might just prefer to crawl under a bed and never come out.

actually, imagine all the show from maxs perspective, because i keep thinking if i was in his shoes what would be the most respectful and realistic way to handle the situation. i feel this man.

but yea he couldve explained it better to ben why using the omnitrix to play a forbidden arcade machine was wrong. he really did say why. its not the fact that ben used the omnitrix selfishly but really how he used it. the manner of selfishness. ben uses the omnitrix to mess with gwen all the time and while thats not the nicest of him its fine if he doesn't go overboard. but when you do something thats likely to have negative consequences on the people around you, thats a problem. and if max had explained that the whole thing with kevin could've probably been avoided honestly.

speaking of kevin

i feel like they really butchered this character.

kevin has a lot of potential. honestly, i think a lot of you would love him (at least if his evilness was a but better directed). hes a homeless kid who, at least the way he sees it, isnt with his parents cuz they didnt want a freak. he does whatever he wants using his awsome powers to get what he needs and wants and fight the people who make his life harder. a real disenfranchised underdog and hes punk to boot. shame hes a heartless murderer.

theres like no reason for it either. its just like. revealed. halfway through the episode. like apparently this kid is just cool with murder. and i dont mean murdering cops or bullies i mean just anybody really. so long as he gets something out of it. they shouldve made him more morally grey. or morally orange. or at least made it so he only started getting crazy after he absorbed energy from aliens or something.

do you ever get the feeling ben 10 is a conservative show? sorry that was a strange thing to ask. they do get a bit better at female characters though. gwen gets to be less of an archetype but mostly just because she gets roped into being a hero in her own right and because shes busy caring about ben. it is an improvement.

we also get more significant female side characters and a female villain who is actually really good. but that episode leaves a sour taste in my mouth because...shes only powerful after fusing with vilgaxes robot, which we already know has all the resilience of wet tissue paper. and yet shes somehow super powerful and unstoppable. just a bit of a nitpick i have. thats driving me mad

it does do a good job of setting up vilgax as a threat though. up to this point vilgax didn't really do anything. he was just there for setup, both plot wise and for jokes. like saying the wielder of the omnitrix must be so strong and cunning and ruthless, cutting to ben who is so...not. (or at least doesn't appear to be). but this episode finally manages to communicate vilgax is an actual threat. punctuating that by having max be scared of him at the very end. that was a nice touch.

[lesbianfreyja]

isoah is one of my favorite things ever i downloaded it to read on the plane a few days ago

I LOVE THIS THANK YOU.

as promised, some unposted excerpts under the cut. i always lowkey intended to finish this if macdennis ever went canon because i wanted to keep up the canon compliance as per my HCs. unfortunately RCG are not getting the memo, but i wrote it up through season 8 anyway. ATP i could probably continue it but im trying to stop writing fic and keep writing original content so i can quit my job and get famous 😭 you never know, i finished knocked out by the midas touch in quarantine randomly

PS this list of WIPs depresses me

And he was. The urges didn’t fade, the feelings didn’t abate. He looked at Mac and saw all the same impulses jump up inside him: He wanted to kiss him, he wanted to hear him moan, he wanted to punch him in the face. But the thin thread of fury that accompanied his Mac Feelings nowadays made them significantly easier to keep locked away in that drawer, and that counted as better in his mind. He hooked a new combination lock on it and hoped Mac was too fucking dumb to stumble on it by accident, but not so dumb that he went searching for the code.

So no, he didn’t have a perfect lid on the matter, not when the impulses jumped up in him like they did. But even though he was lacking in tamping down his urges, he could do better in other ways. He kept a little distance, started hanging out with Charlie more again. Without the danger of their semi-dating between them, it was light and easy and good, like it had been back in their early twenties. He spent a little time with Dee too, especially while she was pregnant. Mostly because she was always calling him to get him to pick shit up for her and bring it over, like pregnant suddenly equaled invalid.

The year after that, Mac got fat.

**********

“Well,” he said, “I’m going to head to b—”

“Come here,” Dennis blurted out.

Mac just stared at him. Dennis swallowed and looked back down at his fingers, picking feathers out of the blankets little by little. He didn’t look up even as he could see, from the corner of his eye, that Mac stepped into his room and shut the door behind him.

They were bathed in the dark. Dennis’s throat felt very dry, and he didn’t think it was just because of the vodka he had drunk tonight. Carefully, he set the glass down on his bedside table. Then he curled back up onto his side and laid down, facing the wall.

He felt Mac slip into bed beside him, but he didn’t move closer and they just lay there for a very long time. Side by side, in the dark. Dennis was drifting again; he wasn’t sure how long it took until he rolled over and buried his face in Mac’s chest, although he’d tell himself that it was just because Mac happened to be laying closer to him than he was expecting and he misjudged the distance.

Mac curled his arm around Dennis’s shoulder, still flat on his back. Dennis fit himself to the curve of Mac’s body, tucked against his side. A dry, unhappy noise bled out of him and he pressed even closer.

Dennis hated sharing beds with Mac. He slept too long and he always rolled onto Dennis in the night until he was half-suffocating with his weight. Mac wheezed, and he’d developed sleep apnea, too. It kept Dennis up all night because it was impossible to sleep with that much shifting and noise. Mac was too warm and it made Dennis sweat in the night, he always needed a shower or two the next day. Mac was too big and Dennis hated to touch him. Mac was Mac, and Dennis hated him for that, too.

It was so fucking scary to be around Mac, sometimes. Pressed head to toe with him in bed, all of those feelings were amplified and thrown back at him. Dennis was a little tipsy and that just made things worse, because all the thoughts he usually pushed the fringes of his head were swimming up to greet him, and he loathed to look them in the eye. Mac might die of a million different things, and Dennis could name all of the top ten most likely killers without any hesitation. Mac would die one day, and Dennis was sure it was going to be long before he himself did — and that future was both tangible enough to touch and so very foggy. He had absolutely no idea who he would be, after Mac. Because After Mac there lived a Dennis who was less tense and worried all the time, and who had time to destress at the end of the day without all his personal space being eaten up from morning until night. Dennis didn’t want to meet that version of himself, ever. How unhappy he would be, he thought. Even more than he was now.

Mac pressed his cheek in against Dennis’s hair, and Dennis’s fingertips bit into the skin showing off above the waistband of Mac’s boxers. His too-tight shirt was riding up, and why he couldn’t wear clothes that fit right when he bought them new was a whole other mystery to unravel.

Dennis’s fingers crept higher. Mac’s breath barely hitched when Dennis’s hand slipped up underneath his shirt, palm coming to rest over his warm, flushed chest. Mac’s heart was still beating, underneath all the layers of skin and bone and fat. Dennis closed his eyes.

Mac’s arm tightened around him, just barely. Dennis breathed out and tried to sleep.

Lines got blurred. Was he just stroking his hair, touching his back, watching him that closely as a friend? Getting matching t-shirts and going out for Mexican food and trying to score drugs to get high together as roommates? Ever since Mac had accused him of not acting normal around him, the thought worried at the back of his brain like it was chewing quietly away at his sanity. A nagging, persistent headache.

“I don’t love you,” Dennis said bitterly to his bedroom ceiling, punch drunk on glue with Charlie and Mac’s hand on his back and lots and lots of tequila. The room never stopped spinning, not even when he closed his eyes.

*************

But Dennis was afraid. Because Mac was getting careless in his age, giving in to his impulses more and more, and losing control — all his fat proved that — and if he started to slip up from the careful charade they were always putting on for one another nowadays, Dennis didn’t know what he’d do. If anything, the fact of the charade itself, all the careful distance they had and how things still hadn’t gone back to how it was before that fucking play of Charlie’s, was enough to prove that Mac still wanted him on some level. If Mac kept on the path he was going on, Dennis didn’t see what would stop him from trying something and making a move, and he knew he couldn’t do that shit with him again. He was so fucking tired.

Sometimes, he was glad he’d pretended for so long to have a thick skin even when it wasn’t true, because it made it a hell of a lot easier to grow one now that he needed it. Because he was going to stop them from hurtling down this fucking path at any cost. He was too exhausted, and pissed off, and bitter to do it all again. If Mac’s arms were getting tired of holding up the wall between them, then goddamn it, Dennis would just have to do it himself.

************

And then Mac grabbed his shoulders and tried to kiss him.

Every other time before that was suddenly on a reel, going through and through his head. Mac and Dennis high on the thrill of performing and kissing, the first time, in the apartment after Charlie’s dumb play (Mac and Dennis obsessing about it, later, back in their separate rooms with time to think it over. Looking at each other for a month after that with that same glint in their eyes and not doing a fucking thing about it, then giving in with zeal and absolutely no self-control). Mac and Dennis hurried and surreal, getting into character to sell houses. Mac and Dennis fumbling off their clothes, working Dennis out of a thong after their merchandising plans worked too well on each other. Mac and Dennis angry in the bar bathroom, furious that Dennis had kicked him out and that Mac had gone so willingly and it had all gone to shit anyway.

And then nothing, a long and severe drought, until this moment when Mac leaned in and Dennis reared away, staring. His heart fucking pounding in his chest.

Mac didn’t seem fazed at all, for all it must have taken him to pluck up the courage in the first place. Maybe he had expected this. Maybe he had been thinking about it for a while and then he had done it and he didn’t care about the outcome, he was just thrilled to have gone through with trying at all. His bravery, a good enough reward.

Dennis didn’t know. Numbly, he let Charlie wrap his arm around his shoulders.

“He just tried to kiss me,” Dennis said. His head felt blank. His head was spinning.

“Yeah, he did a little bit.”

Charlie pulled Dennis along and he felt, as he felt too often nowadays, in control of nothing. Not even his own mind.

It didn’t come up again for one day. Twenty-four whole hours for Mac to think that things were fine, and for Dennis to think that things couldn’t get any worse.

It was supposed to make things better, it was supposed to solve it.

Dennis found him in the back of the bar, messing around with something on the computer. He stopped when Dennis came in, and looked up at him.

“What’s up?” Mac asked, but idly, like he didn’t sense the impending storm that was coming.

Dennis just stood there in the doorway, staring at him furiously. God, he felt hot all over. Sometimes — a lot of the time, actually — he really goddamn hated him.

Mac raised his eyebrows when Dennis continued to just stand there, looking at him and breathing hard and going steadily redder in the face. Then, like he wasn’t afraid of him at all, Mac turned back to the computer and started tapping away at the keyboard again. Whatever he was cooking up must have been really important.

Being ignored finally snapped him out of it. He strode forward until he could lean over the desk, and he grabbed both of Mac’s wrists and pinned them hard down to the desk.

“Ow!”

Mac looked up at him for real finally. His eyes were wide and innocent. So fucking goddamn clueless. Jesus Christ.

Dennis ducked his face close.

“What the fuck, man?” he hissed.

“What the fuck me?” Mac struggled to free his hands and managed to shake off Dennis’s grip on him. Dennis stood up and put his hands on his hips, watching him. “What the fuck you! What are you doing, dude? You just come in here and start attacking me—”

Oh. Maybe it wasn’t hate making him run hot after all. Or at least not only that.

***********

“That’s bullshit! You go home with chicks all the time, dude,” Mac said, pointing accusatorily at him. Dennis wanted to bite back that he hadn’t done that in a while, but somehow saying that wouldn’t feel any more like winning than letting Mac believe this did. Besides, they were in the middle of the goddamn street and he didn’t feel like arguing the point in front of a busy burger joint. “So sometimes I get drunk and think you’re a chick or something, so what? That doesn’t mean anything about me, you know, or about us—”

This fight was not new. If fights could go stale, then this one would have hit its expiration date at least six times over.

Mac, in late October: “Bro, I am the straightest dude you will ever meet. Yeah, I’ve seen your balls, but I mean like — Who hasn’t seen your balls? I think all of Philadelphia has seen your balls. They look weird and besides, you had your mouth on mine last.”

Mac, early December: “I am not spending Christmas with you because it’s a romantic holiday, Dennis. We used to go skiing, yeah, but that’s when your parents were paying for all of our shit. It was purely a financial decision — and besides, I deserved that! High school blew, dude, of course I’m gonna jump on a chance to go to the Poconos if some rich schmuck offers.” (Mac spent Christmas curled up on Dennis’s lap in front of their favorite holiday movies from their childhood, drinking hot chocolate with too many marshmallows and letting Dennis lick the taste of whipped cream out of his mouth, the same exact way that he had a few Christmases before.)

Mac, January first: “My New Year’s resolution is to finally get a girlfriend. It’s time I spread my seed and preserve my legacy.”

Mac, now: “—we are not a fucking couple!”

“I never said that we were!” Dennis shouted back, and goddamn it. He hadn’t wanted to get pulled back into this stupid fucking conversation in the first place, but here he was. Just like always. “I just said that it’s fucking annoying for you to ditch our dinner plans just because some girl implied that she might be willing to suck your dick later!”

“And if you had your way, I would never get my dick sucked ever again.”

Mac crossed his arms. Dennis rolled his eyes, reaching out to shove at him.

“Don’t be fucking dramatic,” he said. “I don’t care who’s sucking your dick. If a blowjob is a good enough reason to ditch me, then whatever. I’ll suck your goddamn dick later if it’s that important to you.”

He didn’t even mean it, which was the stupid thing. Yeah, he probably was going to end up blowing Mac later, or at least jerking him off or something, because that’s what tended to happen when they went out to nice dinners and got drunk on good wine. That’s what happened when Dennis dropped a ton of money reserving a table, and then even more on whatever lobster or steak Mac felt like shoving multiple pounds of down his throat. That’s what happened every fucking month.

Now, it wasn’t looking so much like that’s how their night was going to go, which was just fine with him anyway.

“Are you gay, dude?” Mac hissed, scandalized. “Are you like, gay for me?”

“What?” Dennis said. “No, I’m not gay for you, you fucking idiot. I like women. I didn’t mean I’d blow you later, I just meant—”

He had to start watching his mouth. Mac wouldn’t get a joke about Dennis blowing him if it came down from Heaven on a beautiful woman’s shoulders wearing a big sign around her neck that read: I mean this as heterosexually as I possibly can! Dennis could say that he wanted to watch Mac bleed out in a vat of boiling water, and Mac would probably take it better than a joke about Dennis going down on him.

“Well…Well, good,” Mac said shakily. He dragged a hand over his face. “I don’t want to star in your weird homo dreams.”

“I don’t have weird homo dreams about you!” Dennis hissed, leaning in toward him so that they could lower their voices as they argued. People passing by were beginning to stare. “I just—”

“But you want to bang me?”

“Holy shit, that’s not what this is about!” Dennis said. “Can’t you be normal about this for five fucking seconds? I didn’t mean it, okay? I’m not going to go anywhere near your dick, I promise you! I just already put down a lot of money on this table and canceling this close to the reservation is another thirty bucks, already, Jesus Christ—”

“Fine, whatever,” Mac spat, holding up his hands. “I’ll cancel my date and go to fucking dinner with you. God.”

“Great,” said Dennis furiously. “Fantastic. I can’t wait.”

He backed off, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets instead and scowling at the sidewalk. Sometimes winning arguments with Mac felt a lot like losing them.

“Great,” Mac echoed.

Dennis scuffed at the ground with the toe of his shoe for a long while. He refused to look at him, but he could still hear it a few moments later when Mac sighed.

“I guess we should go home, then,” said Mac in a low, pissed off voice. “I have to get dressed now or whatever.”

“Whatever,” Dennis said.

They set off down the street toward their apartment, several inches of space between them the whole entire time. Dennis curled his hands into fists by his sides and tried to remember how to breathe.

*********

Dennis left Philly because he thought that’s what he wanted to do. He came back because he knew it’s what he needed to do. It wasn’t a choice any more than it had been to pull Mac into his lease, any more than that small and tentative thing with Charlie had been, any more than having his twin sister always around. It needed to happen so the long monotony of days could hit a bump and find another path to trundle down for a while.

**********

>in s13

There was rot within him like a dead tooth. He didn’t know how far down it stretched, and he didn’t know where the heart of it was rooted. He didn’t know when it had sunk into him or why or how many tendrils it had spread out to touch every other aspect of himself, turning them rotten and ugly and just as dead, but it was there. It wasn’t a question of healing so much as it was one of turning back time.

He didn’t know where the ugly parts began, or even where they ended. What was making him so tense and frantic and close to exploding all the time? He could make a list of the things that made him angry, but he’d never know the reasons. His dad; Mac, touching him; Dee looking at him like she thought she knew him; Charlie acting like his brain was half as developed as Dennis’s, or like he could provide any coherent analysis on Dennis’s mental state; a dusty bottle of medication on the bathroom shelf; recently, sex; eating too much, or not eating enough; his own reflection. There was nowhere he could find that would fix that trapped, clawing feeling. Nothing he could do to start to make it go away.

“Dennis?” He looked up into Mac’s open, curious face. “I said there’s a Rocky marathon on TV.”

How do you unrot a tooth? Easy. You pull it out and replace the space with filling. And when the porcelain, or the gold, or the amalgam, or the booze and women and sleepless nights don’t work? You tear out the whole tooth and put in a new one. How do you unrot a person?

Mac was looking up at him, worrying his lower lip in his mouth. Dennis looked at him for a long while before he swiped his hand over his face and sighed.

“I’m going to bed,” he said tonelessly.

He felt Mac staring after him, his expression unreadable when it never had been before, long after he shut his door between them.

[myhardtruths]

2 September 24/25 ig

So ot looks like I posted my last post on the 24th early in the morning so I guess that's how we are going to do this now... anyway today was a emotional roller coaster to say the least. It had highs it had lows and I felt something I haven't felt in a long long time. Grade 6 was the last unfortunate that came at the probable cause of one of my relationships but it is what it is I suppose

My day started as it always does I wake my sorry ass up and drag myself out of bed and into the shower, take a 30m shower followed by getting my shit together and leaving for school. I was slightly ahead of schedule today so that's good I guess. I saw my friend and we took our bus to McDonald's for the morning coffee. Now ill be it i was a bag of shit in the morning and i had little sleep but i digress. Chemistry was fun today we used marshmellows and toothpicks to illustrate a stupidly annoying concepts that I still do not fully understand. Speaking of which I need to get that under control for my upcomming test. I need a 95% avrage to get anywhere inife so I seriously need to lock in. Or else I'll fail like _______ knows I will.

Aside from that I had work today I got called a unprofessional ignorant minimum wage worker who will amount to nothing in life. So that was my positivity motivation for the day.

Ok now I'm going to go onto the stuff that I seriously have been avoiding. Today I sent a couple of message to a friend about a secret that I said I knew. Deep down I just wanted him to open up to me so I could do the same. I feel like we have more in common then we think but given his track record I don't know if I can or even should trust him.... anyway it gave me a rise of need and importance when he was demanding to know what I was talking about 'knowing his secret etc'. Now in relation in grade three there was a kid named ___ now for some reason I still don't know I had some sort of obsession with him. I was yurning for his attention I'd make notes of people bullying me and give it to him. write him notes abkut how my life sucks etc now this kid was 2 years older then me but for some reason I felt the need to tiptoe as close as I could to him without getting caught. Weather that be saying I want to fight him for the adrenaline rush or try to kick to a soccer ball at him I loved the rush. The butterfly in my stomach..... now for some reason when I sent that message to my friend about knowing his secret i felt the same rush as i did before it was exacerbating i haven't felt that since grade 6. Now I don't know what this means but it feels weird. Almost like I know I want to be his close friend but im just stuck on the edge of the circle and begging for attention. I dont know. But I am smart enough to know that it probably strained our already unstable 'friendship'. You know what's funny. u wanted to share this account and blog with him but after writing this there's no way in hell that im going t be showing this to him.

Anyway I have to go back to reading a textbook maybe I'll survive the upcoming day on even less sleep

Till next time