#anyway if you ever wanted to know the fundamental Emotional Wound difference for rayllum there it is i guess

[raayllum]

In episode 7 of season 1 when Rayla goes to find the sun forged dagger, do you think of that was the only way to break her binding she would have abandoned the boys to achieve that goal? For example, if Tristan ran away and the gang was on the clock would she have told them to go on their own and she would catch up to them later? Because she sees herself, at least early on, as only able to bring value by protecting and if she were to lose that ability she would be useless in her own eyes?

No. Rayla had to be encouraged by Callum to go after Tristan in the first place ("You have to go get that dagger" "But... what about the egg?" "We'll find help for the egg. Just meet us back here at the statue") and she outright dismisses her own importance the next two episodes with direct comparisons of Zym > her hand.

I don't think Rayla actually puts much value (in herself) from being a Protector - 3x09 with being the Last Dragonguard is largely an exception - as much as being a Protector is what feels right to her (2x07) in a way that being an assassin never did, something that prioritizes trusting her heart / gut, not necessarily something that prioritizes her life.

Simultaneously, Rayla is someone who will pick fights she know she's unprepared for because she believes she can make enough of a difference to at least have an impact (1x03 with Runaan, 2x07 for Pyrrah) because she knows she's a resourceful and talented sword fighter. It just never feels like she's good enough at it (to survive) and/or that she can fully trust herself (although she makes good headway in S2 and S3) to not inevitably mess up / trip at the finish line: "If the plan hadn't gotten messed up when Bait flashed, I'm sure it would've flopped when it was my turn [...] I am pretty awesome at everything... right up until the moment it really matters."

The dismissal in 1x08 about her hand is particularly apt, I think, because the boys are certainly hoping that boy can be saved. And Rayla could easily say "Yeah!" to both, because why couldn't she? Why can't both her hand and the egg matter? And well, we know why. I also think a fear of being useless is far more Callum's biggest fear, whereas Rayla fears being worthless; Callum worries about what he can or cannot produce, Rayla worries about what she is. Very similar manifestations of shame/fear/guilt, but fundamentally different, I think

TLDR; Rayla isn't interested in chasing things that would improve her own standing or well-being. Almost every time she does things rather selfishly for herself (lying to Runaan, pushing the boys away / keeping secrets because she doesn't want them to know about her binding, or leaving in TTM) to try to ease her own emotional turmoil, it almost always first and foremost comes back to her wanting to ultimately help / protect other people at her core and not disappoint or hurt them