#anyway idk how to convey this but you guys get it. you get it

[bittermuire]

Be the first who ever did - 2

more unhappily married nessian for the people!!!!!!

read the first part here :)

-

The only word to describe how she feels now is naked.

Cassian holds her hand as they walk through the onslaught of cameras. He doesn’t speak and she doesn’t speak but she feels his mind roiling, a perverse, innate movement inside her chest. He wants to talk to her, she knows that much—he wants to talk it out, let’s talk it out, Nesta, but after last night and I just wish that you could really love me, she’s said enough. He won’t be getting a word out of her.

The second they get into the restaurant she pulls away, makes for Elain’s figure in the corner. Cassian lets go of her. Cresseida snatches her attention halfway there with a fierce hug. “Hi,” Nesta says, voice still a bit hoarse, genuinely glad to see her. Thin, elegant pins sparkle in her snow-white hair. “Congratulations. You look gorgeous. Where’s Alastair?”

Cresseida grins and squeezes her hand. “I lost him fifteen minutes ago, I think Tarquin grabbed him. Oh well. I’ll have him all to myself for two weeks.”

“Ahh, the honeymoon I’ve been hearing so much about.”

“The honeymoon you’ve been hearing so much about!” she laughs, and takes a deep breath. “Truth be told, I’m so ready for this whole thing to be over. The wedding, the parties…” she shakes her head, eyes still elegant and present with appropriate mirth. “Velaris is exhausting sometimes.”

“Believe me, I know.”

Elain joins them, pressing a kiss to Nesta’s cheek and then to the bride-to-be’s. “Hi beautiful, how are you?”

Cresseida smiles. “Ready to be tipsy.”

“Allow me,” she says, and with a wink dives into the crowd, cutting a line straight through to the bar. She emerges in record time with three flutes of champagne.

Nesta gives a startled laugh and takes one. “You’re magic.”

“Cauldron-blessed.”

“I’m being summoned,” Cresseida says wryly, and gestures to her tall, handsome brother, standing on the other side of the room. Alastair and a short, dark-haired woman are with him.

Then, Mother help them, Feyre materializes out of nowhere in a silver sparkly dress that leaves scandalously little to the imagination and looks, admittedly, stunning on her. “Oh my god, I have to tell you guys something. Fucking Azriel, of all people, has a girlfriend—” She stops and frowns, staring at Tarquin, a bit flushed. “Who’s that girl? With Tarquin.”

“Oh, that’s Nuan,” Cresseida tells her. “She works in Thesan’s court.”

“They’re dating?”

Cresseida nods and takes another sip of champagne. “For the last couple months, yeah. I really like her. I think he does too.”

There was a period of time before Rhysand, after Tamlin, when Feyre’s attention was caught utterly and incandescently on Tarquin. He was younger, much more her speed. He seemed to intrigue her and kept her guessing. With an energetic mind as quick and eager as a butterfly, Feyre inexhaustibly grew bored and he was good for her. Nesta doesn’t know the extent of that relationship. She only ever met him briefly.

Then this, too, was severed almost violently by the bond with Rhysand clicking into place. Tamlin had been nobody; Tarquin become nobody too. Rhysand was everything the moment they met. Rhysand is her entire world, the love of her life, her beloved mate.

And yet, Feyre watches the girl—Nuan—with cold, exacting eyes. That ferocity she bundled deep inside herself, that intensity she conquered within herself to belong—Nesta watches it emerge, watches her little sister, ruddy and tough, almost, nearly—

“I’ll see you guys later,” says Cressieda, waving at the brink of the crowd. “Get drunk without me!”

Nesta smiles and turns away as well, entirely without the patience necessary to entertain Feyre’s company tonight. Elain follows her and links their arms together. She doesn’t feel like speaking. This is something her sister seems to understand as they go to a smaller table in the corner of the vast, loud restaurant. They position their chairs close together to face the rest of the room; to guard their backs, to observe the crowd, both, neither; Nesta’s head is pounding with a worry that isn’t her own, a sick cold spreading through her veins. Her eyes fall inevitably on Cassian. He’s standing with his beloved brothers, hands in his pockets, laughing. He’s so beautiful it pains her. He smiles like it isn’t painful.

He looks at her, then. Sees her already looking. Across the room his smile drops, his eyes soften, his brows pull together. He makes as if to come to her.

She looks down, looks away.

.

By midnight the guests have dwindled to a generous twenty. Nesta twirls her wine glass. On the abandoned dance floor, Alastair holds Cresseida with blinding love as they sway. Elain is talking animatedly with the bartender. Feyre is nowhere to be found—come to think of it, neither is Rhys. She can see half of Azriel through the back door propped open, talking on the phone, crouching on the concrete with a cigarette. It glows red.

And Cassian, silent, a palpable presence in her body, stands as he has been on the other side of the restaurant, talking with Tarquin and the girl, Nuan. He leans against the wood of the bar and gesticulates gracefully as he speaks. His mouth moves in that beautiful way; she can almost hear his voice, low, even, steady.

Maybe she’s tired. Maybe the dam broke last night and now the world is ending. But her heart burns and her eyes burn, too, tears threatening to well up and fall. She drops her head, panicked and sad, tired of being sad. She went three years without shedding so much as a tear—she can last this night.

Her chest twinges; she looks up to see Cassian walking towards her. Alarm jolts within her, joins arms with squeezing pain, derelict, real.

She went to the doctor, once, when the bond had only recently snapped. She was experiencing chest pains, heart palpitations, headaches. Her blood was hot. Her body was cold. There was something inside of her that she had to get out, somehow. She’d sit on the bathroom floor, hunched over the toilet, fingers down her throat, trying to eject the pain.

He holds his hand out to her. “Will you dance with me?”

Wordless, she goes with him.

He holds her in the classic style. This is what she learned in her mother’s sitting room. Now, gratefully, that most of the party has gone, the music can be heard. It lingers softly in the air—cello, violin, solemn like a dream already being forgotten. She’s tall, but he’s taller. With a sigh she rests her head on his shoulder. He tenses.

He softens, and pulls her closer.

“Nesta,” he murmurs. His fingers twitch on the small of her back. “Can we talk about last night?”

She huffs a laugh. “No.”

“We’ve got to talk at some point.”

“Talk with yourself. I’m done.”

His hand moves hesitantly to her upper back, where her skin is bare, fingers skimming soft and cautious. “There are things I need to tell you.”

“You’ve had three years, Cassian,” she says lowly. Like always, he startles at the sound of his name. “It’s too late for either of us to make an effort.”

His chest swells and she knows he’s about to make some clipping remark, a towel over her mouth. She braces herself for it. It doesn’t come. His hand slides down again to the small of her back, although the heat of his skin still manages to seep through the fabric.

“Tell me what you want,” is all he says.

What does she want?

Does she want anything?

She used to want love, more than love she wanted happiness, more than happiness she wanted stability. She’s been given a husband, a house, a city in which she can live at the sparkling epicenter; she’s been given money, status, sway; she’s been told, we’ve found a man to love you, we’ve filled your bank account, we’ve picked out clothes for your closet, she’s been told, in words and glances and silences and taut, fierce, ordering voices, there’s no reason for you to be sad now. Is there anything worse than what she is? The oldest sister, unfailingly terrible? A disappointment, too stubborn to give in. She used to wonder—perhaps she’d be happier if she let Feyre reign. Soften to be made again. So, out of tiredness, she took Cassian, accepted him into her body.

So she sheltered his heart. Her lungs stretched to fit his breath as well as her own. Souls, entwined, struggling for room. So he sheltered her.

Hand-in-hand they go together, to parties, to galas, to luncheons, to surprise interventions followed swiftly by tea and pastries. They have sex on regular intervals and it’s fine. He isn’t gentle but he isn’t hard. She can extricate, easily, pleasure from him. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever like it, if pleasure is something her body knows. All she feels is the heat of him on her skin and beneath it as well, his languorous passion, bitter and gratifying, in her mind, in her hands, in her soul, if such a thing exists.

And so he holds her in a dim restaurant and says, Tell me what you want. Says it as though she could be expected to answer.

She lifts her head and looks at him. His eyes flit vigilantly over her face.

“I want,” she says, “a bottle of the wine served tonight.”

To his credit he doesn’t look angry or surprised. He nods stiffly. “I’ll arrange it,” he says.

She pulls against his grasp and he lets her go.

.

Late that night they’re lying in bed. She can tell he’s awake. She’s lying on her side, facing away from him.

“Cassian,” she whispers. Her voice sounds soft even to her in the darkness.

A small pause.

“Yeah?”

“You have to understand, it’s…”

Another pause, heavy with expectation.

“You can tell me.”

She blinks. There’s nothing for it. All that anger, it’s as though it’s now been replaced by a screaming urge to be understood. She pulls the sheets closer around her.

“I used to like you. I had a crush. You were a storybook character to me, a prince from a fairytale.” She takes in a shuddering breath. “And you were—gentle, with me. You were kind and I hated everyone and I wanted you to like me back. I knew you wanted to sleep with me, but I ignored that, I think.”

“Nesta, I—”

“Then the bond happened,” she tells him. “It’s different for men. You have… urges. You walk around getting horny and overprotective. For me I thought I was dying. The only guy I ever really liked was now practically inside me. And you went on living your life.” She shakes her head, swallows. “I lost you. You might have liked me. I knew you’d never love me. I thought, I’ll grin and bear it. At least I’ll live comfortably. I won’t have to work. Well, anyway.” She closes her eyes. Her voice pitches up, the tell that she's about to cry. “There’s nothing I want anymore. I don’t know what I want.”

The sheets rustle, the mattress dips. She feels him closer to her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You were in my head,” she hisses, feeling stupid.

“You kept me out,” he says lowly. “And besides. No matter what Rhys tells you, minds are indecipherable. I could submerge myself in your head and not understand a thing. I’ve only ever felt shadows of impressions of feelings from you.”

She frowns and takes a breath. “You’re telling the truth?”

“Yes.”

“Then why does Feyre go through my head?”

There’s a brief, menacing silence.

“What did you say?”

“Periodically, Feyre goes through my head. To check if I’m hurting myself or plotting treason, is what I’ve always guessed.”

“And you agreed to this?”

She laughs dryly. “I haven’t agreed to a lot of things.”

“Do you let her in? How does she do it?”

“She’s my little sister. She’s clumsy at loving people. A family trait. I crack open a door in the corner and she very stealthily sneaks through.” Nesta smiles, despising herself. “Like a gyn appointment but worse. At least you make an appointment for those.”

Then, blessed Mother, she starts crying again, as predictable and irrepressible as an infant screaming for food, for love, for warmth. It’s quiet this time. No shaking, horrible sobs, only salt and water leaking from her eyes, making the darkness blurry.

“Nesta,” he says softly, which, of course, only makes it worse.

She rolls onto her back, pressing her palms into her eyes. “Oh, god,” she laughs. “Oh, god help me. I’m so tired. Maybe I’m still sick.”

“Then let’s sleep,” he says, hesitantly. “I’m sorry, this is a conversation for tomorrow. Want me to go to the guest room?”

She can’t find the words and covers her face with her arms. When she was little her mother didn’t like her to get her hair cut short. Shining hair swirling thick and smooth down her child’s body. She used to grab it in her hands and cover her face with it, like within her flower-smelling hair she could disappear; she would slip between the hanging laundry sheets of the world and no one would find her, not a soul.

With placid fingers he eases her arms away. She opens her eyes to see him above her, blurry and reliably beautiful. She wants to lose her memory. To start over in this bed.

Brow furrowed, he brushes her hair back from her face, painstaking and gentle. She looks at him all the while, examines his face. Such calmness. Dark eyes, darker lashes. His mouth is turned down. How many times has she kissed that mouth, felt its heat?

He bends and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, breath fanning warm over her skin.

She takes a shaky breath. “I have a cellphone,” she whispers. “I have a college degree in literature.”

“I know.”

“A mate bond is a myth, Cassian.”

His mouth tenses. “I know.”

“I’ll always hate you.”

“I know,” he murmurs. “I love you. I mean it.”

She swallows. “Sleep here tonight.”

“Alright.”

She rolls back onto her side. She wonders drowsily where she went, where her anger and horror and bitterness went. Sometimes she thinks she feels it in her throat or her stomach; the reaction is split and swift; kill it, kill it, kill it; clutch it tight, Nesta, never let it go.

Sleep gathers her like a child gathers a stray bird’s feather into her basket.

-

they're so bad at communicating it makes me laugh and also cry

[secretarysong]

thinking about this right now

[touyaz]

Another thing about me is that I love some plot w my porn <33

[snekdood]

i feel like this guy rn about "heart shaped box"

[seonghwaddict]

ateez's favourite petnames for you

requested by anon. genre. hc, fluff. rating. sfw. warnings. petnames (duh), some are more feminine leaning. wc. 734.

lilo's notes. i'm soso sorry this took me so long to get out T-T

masterlist.

hongjoong

darling. the thought of him using that as a pet name makes me go awooga. idk i feel like it would just sound good in his voice, yk? he can be a tease sometimes too, and i feel like this one has the potential to convey his teasing perfectly while still being cute n stuff. like, he's whispering to you, hugging you from behind in the kitchen as you prepare food or something. or he's entering the house, calling out a soft "darling, i'm home!" AHHHH.

honourable mention: love.

seonghwa

angel. PLEASEEEEE idk it just suits him so well. personally i find the thought of any demon line member using this pet name extra scrumptious, but it's something about seonghwa that just does it for me. he has a gentle and warm voice. waking up to him gently nudging your shoulder, needing to leave early in the morning but not wanting to go without telling you, a soft chuckle as you look up at him in confusion, “sleep well, angel?”

honourable mention: bun/bunny.

yunho

tiny. size difference matters quite a bit to him in a relationship, and he loves pointing it out every chance he gets. he’d say this in a more teasing context, when he’s messing around with you or trying to get you to smile—which is all the time, probably. admiring your face late at night, tangled in each other’s limbs in bed, tired but not wanting to fall asleep just yet as he brushes his fingers against your jawline, “you’re so pretty like this, tiny.”

honourable mention: princess.

yeosang

sweetie/sweetheart. he’s a simple guy, really. anything that makes you smile makes him smile. and seeing the way you grinned the first time he called you that—a simple “hey, sweetie, could you come for a second?” that had you giggling and skipping over to him happily—well, it made him never want to stop calling you sweetie or sweetheart, to say the least.

honourable mention: precious.

san

babe. he would so call his s/o babe i can literally hear it idc argue with the wall. normally i’d convulse (negative) if a man called me babe unironically, but shit he can do that all he wants. anyways. he knows you love it when he calls you any sweet pet name, but his personal favourite is this one. it’s so simple, rolls off his tongue so easily. he’d say it so easily too, calling you and saying something along the lines of, “hey, babe, have you eaten yet? i wanna try this new place i found.” YUPPP

honourable mention: my love.

mingi

doll. i’m a mingi calling you doll enthusiast until the day i die. in every fic i’ve written about his he calls mc doll at least once and that’s exactly how it should be. moving on, i just think he would really love calling you that because it elicits the cutest reaction each time; shyly averted eyes, flushed cheeks. sometimes he likes to throw in a little ‘dolly’ to switch things up a bit, to catch you off guard.

honourable mention: (my) pretty/sweet girl.

wooyoung

babydoll. biggest tease of the century, he definitely has a whole arsenal of cheesy pet names to call you when he wants to be particularly annoying (e.g. “aw what are you pouting for, snookums?” “you’re the best, cupcake!” “my my, you are the apple of my eye,” etc.). but on the rare occasions where he’s not playing around, he likes any variation of baby, particularly babydoll. perhaps his adoration for the name was ignited when he first listened to babydoll by dominic fike, and saw how many times you replayed it, but who knows?

honourable mention: jagi (자기 — honey).

jongho

honey. i call this a double entendre. he doesn’t really use pet names much, but he likes this one because 1. it’s cute, it suits you almost as your actual name. this is a name a husband would use and he’s so husband coded it hurts me. and 2. he really is just a silly guy—and considering he’s often described as a bear, well, then it’s quite self explanatory. massaging your shoulders as he stands behind you, sat on the couch and groaning into your hands after a stressful day at work, his voice low and reassuring, “you always do so well, honey, please don’t worry your pretty little head over it more.”

honourable mention: dear.

networks. @cromernet @cultofdionysusnet @wonderlandnet @atzhouse

permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl

@likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd

@coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf @okdudeiime @jjoongstar

[sleepingdayaway]

For The Dancing And The Dreaming

Guys idk how I’m doing this on mobile I usually post it on my laptop so idk if this will look good. Anyways it’s 4:30 in the morning and this is not edited. I wrote this spur of the moment bc I’m an idiot that doesn’t know how to write.

This is no specific Link! I wrote this bc I’m TRYING to write my own LOZ fic but got distracted. Either way I’m tired

You watch the roaring fire as it flickers in the night. The light from it shines around the area as you exhale softly. There is no point in camping outside anymore, but it's something that the both of you keep doing even after the adventure is over. 

It's the familiar feeling of having to take a quick rest before continuing to the next destination. The same feeling of having to rest with each other, having the world shut off, and being able to take a moment.

Footsteps approach your position before coming to a stop beside you, looking up and seeing the person who you; you’ve known your entire life. You're both older than when you first started the journey, for it caused you many physical challenges but still there are moments where you feel as though you’re back to before it all. 

Tonight is another night of thinking of the past; the bad and good, your accomplishments and your failures. They all still haunt you to this day even if your deeds were good. 

The weight of being back to nothing more than those kids again; the kids who had their own small bubble without knowing more than the whole world. Their only concern is if they'll be caught messing around again, or what new activity you'll try this time before getting bored and going back to the old ways.

A hand gently grasping onto yours pulls you out of your thoughts. Which makes you look up at him and witness the adoring smile he gives you. From the moment everything started he kept looking at you with the same emotion, but if you were to be honest, he held that look far before everything. Link, although not a very talkative person, is able to convey everything that he wants to say in different ways and still be able to express everything.

Watching him change from the boy you used to know to a hero who saved Hyrule; it made you happy to know that you were there the entire time. That he was able to rely on you and your own skills; and how you were able to also rely on him as well.

Never would either you believe that this was your destiny, but you're glad that you both had each other.

And now here you are in each other's presence with the fire in front of you. 

"I’m glad that we were in this together, Link." You said softly and curled your fingers around his hand. He hums in agreement and leaned into you; never taking his eyes off you. 

No one calls for either of you. There is nobody that needs to be saved anymore.

It's just the both of you once more. 

If you were to tell Link before this whole thing started that you'd be with him the entire time. He'd laugh but wouldn't deny it; he'd merely give a look with a shake of his head. Anything that he did, you would be right there and jump in with him. 

The both of you were practically inseparable; if he was there doing something then you would probably be somewhere nearby. For as long as Link knew you he could confidently say that he wouldn't trust anyone else than you.

Your unwavering presence motivated him to keep going. Your snarky remarks about the monsters. The way you freely expressed your fear, but still continued to fight. It made him feel a bit better about his own fears. You were his breath of fresh air whenever the journey took a huge toll on him. How you held him during the moments when he was able to take a break; and reassured him that he was only human that couldn’t shoulder everything. You shared his burden without a word and just held him in your arms.

Link liked you.

He always has if he's being honest, but it was during that moment where it fully clicked that he was fully unashamedly in love with you. Link wanted nothing more than to kiss you; to show his love and affection just for you.

Link decided at that moment that he will be there for you from that moment on. He may be Hyrule's Hero, The Golden Goddesses Chosen Hero, forever destined to pick up the Blade of Evil's Bane.

But for you he'll be anything for you.

He will be your hero until the next lifetime. Neither time nor death will separate him from you for he'll always find you no matter what. 

Suddenly he stood up and pulled you with him and held you close. Staring into your eyes with many emotions running through them. 

“[Name], I want you to know that I love you.” Link spoke softly as he kept holding you. You blink at him since it’s been awhile you’ve heard him call your name; relaxing in his hold you smile.

 “You’ve been through this whole thing with me even though I didn’t ask you to,” he continues, “So now, I want to be there for you with anything you need. I love you and I can’t see myself without you being near me.” He confesses.

He would do anything just to have you by his side, “I would bring you gems, jewelry; I will defend you from any creature that tries to hurt you, if you’ll have me-” Link chokes up a bit as he feels his emotions take a hold of him.

You reached out and held his face in your hands, and brought him closer to you. “I don’t have any use for gems nor jewelry. I don’t care if you can protect me or not, I will gladly stay by you.”

Laughing gently at your words, Link places his head onto yours as you run your fingers through his hair. “My dear, I could never be cruel to deny you nor my love. As long as I’m beside you; I am satisfied.” You continued before closing your eyes and leaning onto him.

The world may never call for Link anymore, but that’s fine with him. As long as he has you he’ll forever be hopelessly in love.

[kurosstuff]

RED STRING OF FATE WITH LUTE PLS LOVELY-

🙏🙏🙏

Jk- you don’t gotta if you aren’t able to do it

omf YES- omf twist(like we talked abour-)

making it a bit short since- idk what else to add I hope you like it-!!

Lute x demon!reader: soul mate au

Warning(s): adam- so he talks about his dick(implied?), Don't think really any other then that

You couldn't help but curse Charlie for making you send this letter to these pesky angels. APPARENTLY you have to find some annoying(Charlie's words surprisingly) Man. Adam, the first man. Grumbling, you froze, glancing at the once dimmed red string spring to live a soft sting entering the rope interlocking with your ring finger.

A crude reminder of the dream you wished when alive. Finding a soul mate. Your soul mate but. Never once has it actually been this bright. This beaming light. Snorting at the sick joke. Of course, hell would be playing a sick joke like that. Walking to the tower, you glanced at the paper, the name written exactly who to give this to - entering something odd happened.

The string burned. Yanking you to the room.

Singaling your soul mate is near. Your forever mate. Is near. A dry laugh escaped your throat. What a joke. Entering the room There's no way in hell your soul mate is here-

Your tail flickered in thought before an annoyance flush crept up your face. Staring at the exorcist before your finger burned, looking down at your hand, you watched as the rope burned, going into a straight line to her instead of limp like usual. As if yelling that your mate is her.

Guess this explains why your string never acted up until now. Your soul mates an angel

Oh how cruel the irony is.

-

The more Adam talked, the more drained you got. Does this first man ever talk about anything else other than being the original dick haver? Apparently not. Grumbling, you glanced at the woman beside him- where your string was connected to her - humming in thought

How cruel of am irony that you. A demons soul mate is an angel. And any type of angel, either. An executioner. Who? Treat demons like animals to slaughter - not much different from some demons you knew of- humming you crossed your arms glancing over her mask how to changed depending on how she *felt* what she said- God. Her voice

Blinking, you barely even noticed how Charlie entered the room - just so focused on the masked woman you're bound to. Not even as the meeting began. You just stared in deep thought, humming softly. Before? Your face heated up as she took her mask off-

Hearing her name for the first time from that crude angels lips. How did he manage to get into heaven anyways-? Your thoughts of the matter went away when you locked eyes with her- that cold almost uninterested look but - you could have sworn? Is that a hint of curiosity in her eyes?

Staring at Lute as she spoke- your heart beat faster. Feeling warm all over as if her speaking(which was so fucking hot?) Seemed to relax you- put you in some odd sense of warmth and security. You hummed softly- the red string glowing even more brightly filling your whole hand as if to convey your true feelings for one another-

Before that, Adam guy started to sing - you internally groaned. Is Hell and Heaven just some musical? Blocking him out until she began to sing- humming, you didn't even care of the crude words she spoke of your kind - never mattered in the slightest to you anyways given your a demon-

But damn. Her voice? Was the single most gorgeous thing you've ever heard- staring at her. You ignored how Charlie grabbed your arm on instinct as the executioners came close - Lute came so close to your face - it took everything in you to not lean in as well

"-All vile sinners Like yourself should be slaughtered- can't wait to kill you" she snarled in your face- but that did nothing to change your views. Your heart beat faster as you came to a single conclusion

Your fucked.

[moosh2727]

I FINALLY GOT ACCESS TO ISSUE 71 OMG

this took forever but finally i get to see him!! spoilers ahead :3

first of all, amazing cover. jet and the gang look amazing just in that one snippet

extreme gear dodgeball... thats interesting, reminds me of the multiplayer modes in riders zg that was not racing but fun!

HOW DARE YOU MAKE MY BOY ANGRY wave helping jet focus is nice like in zero gravity 💚

the rouges being in shock is always so funny, im glad to see wave and storm join in on the fun 💚

WOAHHH LOL dang sonic's going hard!!

i now headcannon wave has a mindfullness youtube video she makes jet begrudgingly watch LOL 💚

i love seeing them using their gear more, it fuels my autism 💚💚💚

THIS IS SO FREAKING FUNNY I LOVE IT, AND HOW DARE SHE CRASH IN JETS GEAR!! anyway love him /p 💚

AMAZING I WANNA SEE HIM ANGRYYY, BEAT THEM UP JET!!! 💚100 gonna use this part for art ref because it looks so good

the silence is so loud in this picture i love it, i wonder what jets gonna do? 😊

oh my gosh this is so heartbreaking actually what the heck- ALSO WAVE TELLING JET TO RUN IS SO ON POINT

the story telling via art is on point, theres not much words needed to convey the emotions the characters are feeling

THEY HAVE A NEW ROOM, I REPEAT THEY HAVE A KITCHEEEEEEEEN, storm being the cook fits so well i love it.

the food (curry im guessing) fits their background and double points for looking extra yummy.

jet's first sentence fits him so well, im really glad they're doing good depiction with him and everything relating to them, considering the idw special where jewel broke her wing SUCKED because of idw ppl not thinking about where jet lives on the ship, so they made it SUPER inacurate.

it makes me happy to see storm contributing and not being a stupid fat joke like in free riders. we need to appreciate this silly guy who got brain damage from amy hitting him many times, and he still manages to fulfil jets orders.

storm doing this with his eyes is as good as his eyes in free riders, but way better than his weird blink in the zero gravity black hole cutscene

jet being ahead of the game and i love it!!! NEW MISSION LETS GOOO!!!!!! 💚💚💚💚

these riders designs are really helping me in the future with my own oc 🫶

OMG THE WIFE OF THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR FROM MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!!

ouch my heart

oh gosh thats so sweet but sad ugh

jet has become more thoughtful! i just hope he doesn't lose his edge, but even if he does i'll love him anyway /p 💚

i love how much talented ppl are in this community, im so glad for more jet content via idw and fan creations. jet needs all the praise and love. 💚

Overall i loved this idw issue, i can always make the excuse " use more jet content!" but they did a really good job with expressing all the characters fairly. (still, i still want more jet tho :P)

i waited so long for this issue its crazy, idk why it took so long to come out digitally since i don't have the money to buy them in person.

knowing more rooms, might create an accurate layout of their blimp soon!

anyway, i got a gaming pc and not a stupid mac earlier this week, meaning that i can finally play free riders yayy!!!

[chandlermead]

Lmao I’m going to be a bit of a bitch for a min. So just ignore this if that’s not the vibe for today.

But I saw a post that was like 2023 was such a great year for queer film, and it’s was three posters with like predominantly white men. And from what I know of these actors almost all are either straight men or have not openly stated they are queer. Saltburn, Red white and Royal Blue, and All of Us Strangers

There is a lot to unpack 😮‍💨 Firstly using the umbrella term queer, yes I suppose these could fall into that category, but the only three movies the post highlighted are all center around gay men. And once again these are for the most part not openly queer men IRL. They are just actors in a gay for pay role. I want to be clear that there is nothing wrong with enjoying these movies. It’s been almost 20 years since Brokeback Mountain (2005) was released, the impact of these kind of stories doesn’t hold the same weight today. It is okay to be critical of casting, stories, labeling, choices, etc.

With the addition of Red, White and Royal Blue, a romantic comedy, I would venture to say these three weren’t picked on the impact of the story telling and cinematic quality. Again, nothing wrong with romantic comedies, they are enjoyable, light hearted, easy watches, and there have been romcoms that have been highly praised and awarded. The point I suppose I’m trying to get at (if I ramble enough I might make a coherent one 🤞) is these feel like they were selected based on the attractiveness of the men involved. Why not just say something to the effect of “2023 was a great year for Hot Gay Characters 🥵” or “2023 Thirsty Gay Movies 🍿” I do not mean this sarcastically or in any negative way. I think it is more accurate to what the post was trying to convey and I don’t see anything wrong with that. Hot guys acting gay is, well, hot. We know that and enjoy it, and like to see it.

You don’t need to label these as ‘Great Queer Films of 2023’ if that’s not what you’re going for. And it is a bit of a disservice to a lot of other films and movies that can fall into that category if we use the term loosely. I’d say a movie like Bottoms, could fall into this category, it was enjoyable, popular and had queer characters. It was not included, maybe the original poster didn’t like that movie as much, but my gut feeling is, like I said before, that the list was more about hot gay characters.

Anyway, idk, you can choose your words however you like, I’m no authority on the subject. I just think it’s important to remember how and why you use certain words and the implications they have. Those three films do not highlight the breath of vastly diverse characters that embody queer films in 2023. I don’t think that was the intention, so saying those three films are what made 2023 a great year for queer film erases all those other stories and normalizes and reinforces centering queer topics around predominantly white, affluent, gay men.

I added some of my personal highlights from 2023 for Queer films. I even included a hot guy comedy in the mix, that is not sanitized for mass appeal like a hallmark movie. This isn’t an exhaustive list but I think shows some of the diversity in story telling and characters that makes queer movies and queer culture as a whole so exciting.

Edit* Andrew Scott is an openly gay man

[keirawantstocry]

hi tis i 💋anon. Im running out of ways to convey my love for your writing. Just kissing you is no longer enough, I need you to kill me- Youll still get kisses ofc but- AHHHH. anyways

So ive been having Thoughts about current tubbo. I think he needs to snap and be Covered in blood. Remember day 1 that he was back? where he Immediately threatened the Chocobos cause they were noisy, yeah just snaps and kills all of em. Then just, goes about his day after, not bothering to clean anythin. I feel fit would maybe have a moment of 'WHO DID HE KILL- oh okay', maybe quietly fawning after idk, camera cut to pac. jaw on the Floor, unable to get himself together, Bright Fuckin Red.

I Dont Know i just need more of Pac (and fit lets be honest) being obsessed with men that could(and would) kill them. I also just want Tubbo covered in blood. Thats also my agenda now.

Hope youre having a good day :> (srry that these Keep Gettin Longer)

darling I need you to know that I think ab this ask every day. kisses aren't enough, you need me to kill you?? that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life. I get flustered everytime I read it. gah anyway enough about me you're here for the freaks (affectionate) also never apologize for how long they are i love it

Fit's first emotion when he spotted Tubbo was concern. The second was something deep in his gut that felt eerily similar to the feeling he got seeing Pac kill people in Purgatory. Which sort of made sense considering Tubbo was currently covered in blood. 

Tubbo met his eyes with a strangely empty look. “Hey Fit.” 

“Why are you covered in blood?” And why did his voice sound so strained when he asked?

Tubbo blinked at him slowly with eyes full of emotion that contradicted his emotionless face. “I got annoyed.” 

“At?” 

“Chocobos.” 

The deep feeling in his gut overtook the concern when he realized that Tubbo hadn't hurt an islander or child. “And you haven't cleaned the blood off why?” 

Tubbo's eyebrows dipped down. “I don't know.” 

Fit took a step forward and put his hand on the least bloody part of Tubbo's shoulder. “Why don't you come home with me and let me clean you off, yeah?” 

Tubbo nodded slowly. “Yeah okay.” 

-

Fit had forgotten one tiny detail. The tiny detail in question was standing in the doorway of Fit’s house with an open jaw and wide eyes. 

“Pac,” Tubbo said with a stupid grin before pushing past him into the house. Fit and Pac both watched as he walked straight over to the bathroom and slammed the door. 

Pac grinned with a stupid expression that Fit knew was the one he made at the men he liked. “Who did he kill? Did you watch? Do you think he’ll let me lick the blood off his face?” 

Fit choked on air. “Excuse me?” 

“C’mon,” Pac said in a whine. “He’s strong.” 

“Are you attracted to that?” Fit asked in half disbelief. 

“You’re saying you aren’t?” Pac asked. 

Fit froze. Took a long moment to consider it. It made a lot of sense. The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off him. The intensity of the feeling in his gut that seemed to grow with every second. “Holy shit.” 

Pac laughed wildly. “You spent all that time in the wasteland and you’re telling me you never got a boner for some guy covered in blood?”

Fit spluttered turning bright red but before he could respond, the door to the bathroom was swinging open again. 

There stood Tubbo, shirtless, holding a damp cloth in his hand. “I can’t reach my back, can one of you-” 

“I’ll get it!” Pac interrupted, rushing over to take the wash cloth from Tubbo’s hand. Fit followed them both into the bathroom silently. 

Fit sat at the edge of the bathtub as Tubbo lifted himself up onto the counter. Pac’s mind was clearly out of it considering the long looks he was not subtly giving the man. And the fact he was cleaning blood off his chest and not his back like he had originally asked. But nobody was complaining. 

Fit had to admit there was truth to Pac’s line of thinking. There was something about the mess of blood on Tubbo’s chest that made his mind dizzy and his heart race. So yes. Nobody was complaining. 

Pac motioned for Tubbo to stand back up and he did so with a sigh, standing in front of Fit so Pac had room to work. Fit watched as Pac ran the washcloth under cold water again before wiping it quickly down the blood covering Tubbo’s back. He averted his gaze from his chest up to his face to see the slight pursing of his lips and the hiss at the evident chill of the water. 

“Fuck dude couldn’t made it any colder?” he bitched. 

Fit slapped him lightly on the arm and didn’t think about how warm his skin was. “Leave him alone. He’s helping you.” 

“And why aren’t you? If I remember correctly you said you would help clean me up. I was fine with being bloody, you're the one who insisted on this.” 

Pac paused and peeked at him over Tubbo’s shoulder. “Really?” 

Fit swallowed feeling dizzy and nodded. “Well, yeah.” 

“Then do it.” Tubbo was reaching behind him and taking the wash cloth from Pac’s hands. Fit saw it all in slow motion but with sharp vision. The washcloth was cold. The washcloth was in his hand. Tubbo was looking at him expectantly. 

“There’s no blood left on your chest,” Fit said stupidly, feeling incredibly out of his depth all of a sudden. 

Tubbo shrugged before taking a step forward and turning to sit himself down on Fit’s lap. Fit didn’t even know it was possible for his body to freeze up more but it did. Pac met his eyes, nervous trepidation meeting awestruck joy. Waving him on with one hand, Pac leaned back against the counter to watch them carefully. 

Slowly, Fit took a deep and careful breath. He brought the washcloth up every so gently to rub at the blood staining the skin at the top of Tubbo’s spine. The man’s shoulders slipped down as he relaxed and let the silence fill the room. With his non-metal hand, Fit held the curve of Tubbo’s bicep to keep both of them steady as he scrubbed at a particularly stubborn smudge of blood. The skin under his hand was so warm it was hard to focus on cleaning the blood off. Pac’s eyes were boring into him and the strangely soft lighting in the bathroom made this moment feel much more intimate than was to be expected. 

Simultaneously it felt as if it stretched on forever and also was over way too soon. 

Fit dropped his hand, letting the bloody washcloth fall to the floor. “There,” he said gently. 

“Thank you,” Tubbo said in an even quieter voice before he stood. “I’ll get out of your hair now.” Before either of them could protest, he was pulling his shirt back on and leaving. 

They both stared after him, feeling as if part of them was now missing. Pac giggled suddenly and Fit’s eyes darted over to him. “What are you laughing about?” 

“That was the most-” Pac laughed again. “That was just crazy. You two are something else.” 

“Shut up,” Fit grumbled. 

Pac just laughed once more before standing up to give Fit a quick kiss. “I’m going to go see what Richas is up to, okay?” 

Fit nodded, trying to clear his head. “Yeah, okay, I’ll see you later Pac.” 

“See ya, querido.” 

Fit’s head spun as he stood up. He had a lot to fucking think about.

[sadhours]

Part two my queen my love my beautiful

Gotta do shower sex after basketball practice like… just need that tension and and Billy calling Steve a bitch idk need it badly

The longing… the vulnerability between the both of them…. Billy wondering how many of Steve’s buttons he can push because *surely* he’s not that easy???

Also

*slides 2 dollars over* *whispers* billy spitting on Steve’s face/mouth please….

I can’t say no to you 😩

part one

The next morning at school, Billy is kind of looking for Harrington. Not outright. He knows he’ll see him at practice but still, he finds himself craning his next over the crowds in the hallways in hopes that he’ll see some floppy brown hair. He’s actually in like, shock that it even happened last night. But Billy’s kind of obtained this skill, and maybe it’s not a morally good skill but he can pick up on vulnerabilities and use them to his advantage. He still thinks it was mostly fate that Wheeler decided to dump Steve at that exact moment. Because of Tommy, Billy was aware that they kind of had a rocky relationship anyways but he was anticipating playing the long run. Prod and poke at Harrington until he snapped. And then there he was, trying to rip that bottle of whiskey from Billy’s hands and his big, brown eyes just looked so sad. A kind of sad that lit a fire in Billy’s gut. It wasn’t news to him that he had a bit of kink for tears, he’d made girls cry before and he used to feel a bit of shame when it excited his dick. He hadn’t ever made a guy cry before. And he preferred them. So seeing those puppy dog eyes trying to convey dominance had him acting on impulse. It was really, so unreal that the events rolled out how they did.

As anticipated, he doesn’t see Harrington until he’s at practice. The lanky dude barrels through to his locker, which thanks to their last names, neighbors Billy’s. He pretty much expects Steve to avert his eyes, ignore him. Billy’s under the impression that Steve’s never even considered being with another guy. He’s not close enough to Tommy to ask if they’d done anything remotely gay in their deceased friendship. But those brown eyes look at him, look almost needy. His plush pink lips part and he’s about to say something, Billy’s leaning into it, so intrigued and desperate to know what he’s thinking but it’s interrupted. Hagan slaps the corner of their locker row and laughs, looking to Harrington who jumps and turns at the sound.

“Princess dump you, again?” Tommy preens, self satisfied grin spreading against his freckled cheeks, “it’s almost like, Carol and I were onto something!”

Steve’s body noticeably stiffens and his fingers move to the dial on his locker. Billy has to hold back his eye roll. Wants to tell Hagan to fuck off because god damnit, he really wanted to know what Harrington was about to say.

“She changed you, man,” Hagan prods on, shaking his head as he changes into his practice clothes. Billy and Steve busy themselves with filing through their lockers and if Billy isn’t mistaken, it’s like they’re waiting for Tommy to go away so they can shamelessly get an eyeful of the each other. Well, at least that’s what Billy’s waiting for.

Luckily, he gets what he’s hoping for. Tommy snorts, slams his locker shut and struts away. Billy sits on the bench and starts getting his boots off. He keeps his eyes on Steve’s legs as he does so, can see the bulge of his cock in his jeans and it brings back some vivid flashbacks of having said cock in his mouth last night. Harrington kicks his nikes off and his hands go to the waist of his jeans, he unbuttons them slowly and Billy glances up to meet those beautiful brown eyes he can’t stop thinking about. That neediness still shining in them. Okay, so Harrington wants him to watch. That’s a good sign. Billy sets his boots next to him and shrugs off his denim jacket, letting his eyes drag back down Steve’s body to his crotch. Harrington pushes the jeans down his thighs and then kicks them off his ankles. It takes quite a lot out of Billy to not shove his face against those white briefs. God, he wants to mouth at that outline of Harrington’s sizable yet flaccid cock.

Next Harrington is shedding off his polo, exposing a bit of chest hair that Billy isn’t expecting. His fingers itch to run through it. And he realizes if any of their teammates walk by, this is gonna look suspicious so he stands and starts undressing himself. And then they’re both standing there in their whitey tighties, eyes shamelessly raking over each others bodies.

“What were you gonna say?” Billy finds himself asking, voice barely above a whisper.

Steve’s face flushes and he curtly shakes his head, “Nothing. It’s… don’t worry about it.”

Like a switch, Steve’s quickly shucking his gym clothes on before shoving his feet in his Nikes. Closes his locker quietly and Billy watches as he trails away. Fuck. They were definitely just checking each other out. He’s not mistaken. What the hell was Steve gonna say?

First, they’ve got to run laps. It’s how every practice starts. Steve’s fast. He’s gained a lead on everyone with those long fucking legs of his. Running isn’t Billy’s strong suit. Actually, he absolutely hates cardio. Probably because he’s been smoking since he was twelve. But god damn, he’s determined to catch up to Harrington, even if it leaves his chest burning and his stomach churning. Once he does, Steve drops down to a jog and Billy does the same, turns so he’s jogging backwards and facing Harrington.

“I’m worried,” Billy informs him, frowning.

“About what?” Steve huffs, confusion clouding his puppy dog eyes.

“What you were gonna say.”

Steve smiles and goddamn those butterflies filling Billy’s gut have him extra worried. He was just trying to fuck the guy, not fall in love. Billy doesn’t do love. It’s not real. Sets you up for disappointment. People don’t stay so why the hell would you love them? But Jesus, that smile is pretty. Maybe even prettier than that pathetic sad look he had on his face last night.

“You really wanna know? It’s kinda stupid,” Steve is blushing. Whether it’s from Billy’s interest or the running, he can’t be sure.

“Yeah, well, you’re stupid,” Billy bites back, “But last night I…” he clears his throat, “What is it?”

Steve’s eyebrows bounce around and he purses his lip, chews on the insult thrown his way and tries to figure out how to feel about it. And god damnit he’s cute. Billy hates how cute this fucking dude is.

“It’s… I don’t know, man,” Steve sighs, “Just thanks, I guess.”

“Thanks?” Billy stops in his tracks, hands falling to his sides. “What?”

“Yeah! Thanks,” Steve pats his bicep and picks up his pace, sprinting around the corner of the track. It’s not often Billy’s surprised or left speechless. But here he is, dumbfounded as he watches his team catching up to them. Thanks? Thanks for what? Taking his ass virginity? Did… oh shit. Did Billy actually make Steve feel better? That’s a new feeling. He can’t decide how to process it. It’s alarming how badly he wants to kiss the asshole so it kind of forms into Billy wanting to punch the fuckers lights out and then transforms into him wanting to fuck Harrington again.

Once they make their way to the gym, the coach divides them up in teams. He gets picked first and subsequently Steve, to the other team. Which is gonna be fun. Gives Billy the excuse to crowd Steve on the court, get a bit of a feel without it being looked at sideways. Coach points to Billy’s team and announces, “Skins.”

Harrington’s eyes lock with his and he smirks, grabbing the hem of his grey Hawkins High gym shirt and pulls it over his head. He registers the way Harrington’s eyes fall to his chest as he chucks the shirt to the bench. God, it’s so obvious to him. And thanks? Steve wants more and Billy does too.

He wipes the court with the shirts, he’s competitive by nature and well, Steve’s his best competitor. He plays defense, crowds right against Steve’s back and the similarities of now and last night don’t fall short on him. Billy’s close to supporting a half chubbed cock right now. Especially the way Steve elbows him in the peck. Can’t help that his tits are sensitive. He grins, licks his lower lip and has to hold back from leaning forward and licking Steve’s cheek like he did the night before. He wants to consume Harrington in such an overwhelming way. But there’s unspoken rules to this shit.

They’d be lynched right here in this court if Billy did was he really wanted to do. His father would have a field day with the beating if he knew the thoughts he was thinking as he’s pressed against Steve. All he can do is steal the ball, dribble up the court and god damnit, try to impress Steve with this trick shot. He’s stunned himself he makes it and he turns, grinning wide as he looks to see Harrington bent over and panting, staring back at him.

“Steve?” Wheeler’s at the door of the gym and Billy’s blood boils at the way Harrington immediately follows her out.

What the hell does that Bitch want? Billy wishes he could follow the pair. Tell her what they’d done and that Steve didn’t need her anymore. But fuck, he’s got a game to play and who does he think he is? Steve’s boyfriend? Pathetic. Billy’s chasing after the ball before he can think to deeply about it.

Showers. Typically kind of a tough time for Billy because he digs looking at dicks, but he can’t. Still, he always feels eyes on his body in the showers and no one gets called out but he’s beyond worried he’ll get called out. And yeah, he’d heard the whispers about Harrington’s dick so it’s not a secret that the team is looking at each other. Harrington’s dick is kind of like an anomaly though. Like it’s okay to notice and talk about because of it’s size. But unlike the other dudes in this locker room, Billy’s had it in his mouth. Then again, he’s not sure anyone else here wants it in their mouth besides Tommy, though the guy won’t admit it. Billy can tell by the way he talks about him. Built Steve up like he was a literal King and not like the metaphorical one he is. Then, he saw Steve and well, he understood.

He watches Tommy’s eyes, they fall to his cock and then to Harrington’s. There’s a look on his face Billy can’t exactly place, perhaps jealously or something more… gay? He hasn’t quite fingered Tommy yet. They’ve just met. And honestly when he made the move on Steve, he was taking a huge risk that he ended with an even better payout. Tommy’s eyes fall to his own junk and well, he’s probably comparing. He did offer Carol up to Billy the second the three of them were alone but Billy shrugged it off like a joke.

“Good practice,” Billy lamely offers, snatching Steve’s soap from the shelf. There’s a hint of a smile from Steve when he does it. Which is a win, probably.

“Yeah, that trick shot was fucking killer,” Tommy praises, teeth shining. And yeah, Billy thinks he’s cute but his eyes are drawn back to Harrington.

“Thanks,” Billy offers, soaping his dick up before he puts the bar back. Steve snatches it quick and then soaps his own dick up. It’s an offering, of some kind. He’s eager to have their teammates vanish. Wants to be alone with Harrington and quick.

The two of them linger a little too long, hopeful they’re not being obvious. Coach left long ago, they shower quietly until the chatter in the locker room disappears. Fingertips and toes gone pruny. And then Billy makes his move, steps into the stream of Steve’s shower and their eyes meet.

“What did your girlfriend want?” Billy asks, ignoring the way his cocks filling out by the close proximity of Steve’s cock.

Steve swallow hard, averts his eyes but answers, “She wanted to know why I didn’t pick her up this morning.”

“Why didn’t you?” Billy wonders, blinking slowly at Steve.

“She dumped me,” he huffs with disdain.

“And the thanks? What was that for?”

“Last night… I… it helped me take my mind off her,” Steve mumbles, eyes dropping.

Billy grins, licks against his teeth as he hooks his fingers under Steve’s chin, pulls the boys face toward his own, “Told you I would make you feel better than she could.”

“But—“ Steve swallows, “You just left and I…”

“What? Wanted cuddles?” Billy laughs, “it was fun. And that’s what it will be. If we ya know, keep doing it. I’m not a chick and either are you, last time I checked.”

He looks down, seeing Harrington’s cock is also standing like his. “I don’t do feelings, Harrington. And maybe you shouldn’t either. Since you’re such a bitch for some average looking tail.”

“I love her,” Steve argues, eyebrows knitting in a way that has Billy jealous beyond belief.

Billy frown, full of condescension when he says, “And where the hell did that get you?”

Steve looks a little taken aback. Like Billy said something wise and not something basked in bitterness.

“We can make each other feel good. Why would we fuck it up with feelings?” Billy asks, looking up at Steve under thick lashes.

“Yeah,” Harrington breathes out and Billy’s reaching down to grab his cock. The brunette elicits the sweetest, softest yelp and Billy can’t help but break a rule he’s set for himself, crashing his lips into Harrington’s.

Because Billy loves kissing. Likes it filthy and sloppy. Makes his head swim when they lick against each other’s tongues between heady moans. Sex is sex. They’re here for a means, regardless of sexuality, they both just wanna get off. Because fuck, his heads going empty ‘cause he can feel Harrington’s cock twitch in his hand and there’s a shared desperation here when their eyes meet again. If Billy can offer a distraction from Wheeler, he’ll take it. Anything to get Steve Harrington making these sweet sounds and bucking into his fist.

“Be quiet,” Billy warns before he’s stepping closer to press his cock against Steve’s, adjusting his hand so he’s got them both in his grip, “You don’t wanna get caught, do you?”

Steve shakes his head, reaching his hands up to grab Billy’s shoulders. Billy catches Steve’s lower lip in his teeth while he jerks them off in his hand. It’s a desperate yet lazy kiss. Steve keeps whimpering into it and Billy’s a bit lovestruck. And Christ, he loves the way their cocks slide together easily, precum drooling from their tips. It’s all slippery and so good and Billy can’t stop licking every crevice of Steve’s mouth as they thrust into his fist. It’s so delicious, so filthy. It’s… slippery from the shower. His minds hazy enough to tell Harrington, “Holy shit, you’re so fucking hot.”

And he’s whiny when he says it, desperation dripping off his words because truly, he means it. Harrington looks like a god damn dream, glassy brown eyes and fuck, his lips parted and so pink. Looking at Billy likes he’s a veteran porn star, and he could be with the heat he’s packing and that look on his face. He’s begging for it, just with his eyes. And Billy wants nothing more than to give it to him.

Billy wants to die for Harrington. It’s a sick thought he can’t let himself dwell on. Daddy up and moved them for a reason. Another boy with floppy chestnut hair and sad eyes.

“Fucking hate you,” Billy mumbles, not sure if it’s meant towards Steve or the memory. He squeezes their cocks when he says it though. ‘Cause he does hate him and he does hate the way he aches for this. Hates the way his heads all wrong and hates how he needs to act on it.

Steve kisses him then, bruising like it’s punishment for telling Steve he hates him. Or a test? Billy can’t let the kiss go further, it’s too delicious and dangerous. So he pushes Steve back and spits on his parted lips. An assault, but he’s stunned when Steve’s tongue darts out to gather the saliva and bucks his hips up at Billy’s fist. The slide of their cocks is incredible and it’s so good that heat is pooling in his stomach rapidly, so he closes his eyes tight and bares his teeth because if he looks down at their cocks or up at Harrington’s face he’s gonna blow his load.

And then Harrington’s making this pathetic fucking sound and it’s even more wet and Billy has to open his eyes, has to look down and sees Harrington’s spilled and it’s all over his fist and the tip of his cock and Billy grunts, body heaving as he shoots his spunk next. He rests his head on Harrington’s shoulder for a beat. Then he rinses himself off and reaches for his towel. He wraps it around his waist and he’s about to walk off.

The softest words from Harrington have him turning around and asking, “Huh?”

Big, downturned brown eyes look to him and Steve says louder, “I fucking hate you, too.”

It warms Billy’s chest for some god awful reason, so he smiles, maybe even blushes a little, “Hate you more, King Steve.”

Wishes he could stick around longer, but Max has got to be out waiting by his Camaro by now. He doesn’t wanna risk coming home too late. And he’ll see Harrington tomorrow. Looks forward to it.

[definitelynotshouting]

context: ik most of my asks are pretty disorganized, stream of consciousness type of thing but GEEZ this got out of hand. you know that thing cats do when they bring you a dead mouse and *they're* super proud of it and you're just like dude.. why /lh

i usually put whatever my immediate thoughts are after reading the chapter and this time i thought it might be fun to write it out before. can you tell im running on five hours of sleep?? lmk if this made any coherent sense because even i dont understand it!!

so last chapter ripped my heartt out and stomped on it. i am LIVING for the way this whole thing was written, gorgeous prose as always <3. i was very curious as to wether Mumbo would question Grian but i think him NOT doing that was SO in character, and i adore it. I feel like w/ some fics (my own writing included) Scar is the ONLY one Grian relies on for support (in ANY area), and whenever Mumbo is even in the picture, he's just kinda "there", he doesn't check up on Grian or broach the topic of whatever is currently plaguing our little bird guy (basically, he's not involved in Grian's life despite being "his best friend"). And the way you characterized him was just So Real?? I would wager a guess (correct me if im wrong ofc) that part of it is that he just DOESNT know, (because Grian is oh so good at telling half truths and privately justifying his self sabotage) but a part of it is also him being lowkey willfully ignorant. he doesnt WANT Grian to be sick (mentally or otherwise) but definetly knows that SOMETHING is up. he really WANTS to help fix whatever is going on (evident by the gold farm) but he doesnt know what Grian needs or how to help him.

i have been OBSESSING over how Grian saying goodnight to Mumbo was ACTUALLY his goodbye to him but Mumbo DOESNT KNOW AND ITS EATING ME ALIVE. (also thought it was super interesting how Grian sort of took Mumbo leaving to sleep as "permission" to do the deed)

side ish note: how tf does Grian even plan to do that?? ik he's got the spider eyes and i *think* he's planning to turn the healing potions into weakness potions but like?? how is he going to do that??? i would assume that the gang would be watching the potions AS they were brewing, and even if they weren't, healing potions and weakness potions are.... vastly different colors. (unless im mixing them up with something else). also aren't they going to walk in on him prepping or already being in the middle of it and just save him like last time? the team as a whole has done a pretty good job on keeping an eye on Grian (from just a "this person can't walk" standpoint) so far. is he waiting for a chance when everyone is busy or does he plan to use MORE weakness potions to make it stronger or quicker?? im interested to see if he's even going to follow The Plan, because up until this point he's been pretty careful with trying to make plans and sneak around EXCEPT for the spider eyes basement adventure, which makes me wonder is he'll get more frantic/desperate as the appointed time draws closer.

Real talk though, Mumbo (and everyone else) is going to be beating himself up over not noticing when stuff goes down (which i would assume would be next chapter, but idk). Also, the fact that Grian asked him to stay means A LOT. To me (and idk if this is what you meant to convey) that signals that a part of him WANTS to stay. theres a part of him that wants to continue to experience the comfort and joy he gets from his friends, but he feels like he's only going to continue to hurt them, so to him this is the ONLY option to keep them safe. also the majority of his existence is just misery and pain so thats probably not helping. (PLUS the whole slew of mental health issues, this is not purely self sacrificial).

anyway, i LOVED this chapter as always, it was like chicken noodle soup for my overworked little soul and i savored every bit of it!! (also, no need to apologize for not having enough spoons!! i dont have any chronic illnesses but i know that shit sucks. this is a particularly long ask for me so dont feel compelled to answer everything in it, or answer right away. hope ur doing well <3)

-🐛

BUG ANONNNN THIS COMMENT IS SO SWEET AND I LOVED READING IT OMGGGG

you hit the nail exactly on the head for where im going with mumbo's characterization-- there is 100% a level of willful ignorance there. Ive always felt like mumbo is the kind of guy who has a thing about avoidance-- he feels very much like a character who will absolutely do his best to ignore things that hes decided arent his business (right up until he stops LMFAO) and part of that in hunger au is him being so anxious for grian to get better that he stops looking at the red flags grian is aggressively waving around. It'll work out!! He's sure of it!! Grian even directly said he's trying to get better!! And i think if he looked at that for longer than it takes for him to flinch away from the entire subject, he would see how much of a bald lie that is.

But he doesnt, because thats a LOT to deal with, and hes never really??? Seen this side of Grian before??? Not the way Pearl and Scar have. Theres a lot of intricacy there that i feel im skimming over but like Mumbo is very much keeping his own sanity in mind here too and thats another painful factor to the whole situation. Idk i have lots of thoughts about it and about the choice here to depict Mumbo giving in to that willful ignorance, and how its going to affect his and Grian's relationship in the future of the fic

(Quick tw for frank discussions of suicide below)

You've also completely nailed the subtext i was getting at with Grian asking Mumbo to stay-- smth ive always felt is a bit underrepresented in narratives like these are how at its most base core, suicide and suicidal ideation are often about needing something to fundamentally change in your life. It takes a LOT of both hopelessness and sheer willpower to actively try and overcome your body's instinctive will to survive. That instinct is baked into our very cells; when someone commits, it means their hopelessness for meaningful change to happen in their lives was so strong it overpowered everything else. And that is something deeply, deeply tragic, and also something i really wanted to respectfully highlight in this portrayal-- how bad things are when you spiral that far. Grian is starving to death. He wasnt lying about maybe having a week to live-- the intermittent feeding has kept him alive longer than anticipated, but its like trying to wall off an avalanche; theres only so much you can do in the face of all that :( and that hopelessness, in combination with how guilty he feels for what he did to his friends, has manifested in him feeling like his only recourse is to kill himself... but at the same time, that instinct to survive and KEEP SURVIVING is still blaring in his veins, and that manifests as him asking Mumbo to stay. Its a bit paradoxical, but its meant to really show how bad his mental state is, that he is willfully ignoring all the frantic signals his body is screaming at him to try and stay alive rn 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also, with the potions-- without revealing too much about how this is going to happen, Grian is planning on making fermented spider eyes and using them to turn the healing potions into harming potions, which he'll then drink in the in-between to make sure he dies immediately. Now.. i know how this is gonna go, and i know the exact mechanics around how this is gonna shake out, but smth to keep in mind is hes not thinking logically anymore, he has FULLY capitulated to his own storm of emotional wreckage. So yes there are DEFINITELY some questions to be asked about how hes gonna try and get this done, but in all honesty they mostly boil down to "sheer opportunity" which you'll see a bit more of in the next chapter >:] but yeah its meant to be a bit illogical skdbwkdjskd since he just isnt thinking coherently anymore at this point :(

Bug anon thank u for my entire life this comment was so sweet and so wonderful to receive, i really love it when my writing is analyzed like this and seen and understood!!! Its amazing its such a wonderful feeling to have your work be seen like this and its something i very much do not take for granted :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ tysm for the ask i am seriously treasuring it SO MUCH rn (and also thank you for the well-wishes!! Im doing my best to stay silly out here HEHE)❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[noven-warsh]

Aki doodles I've done in my school doodlebook <3

Aki with a katana- I drew this while I was in art class with my friend, and I'm still impressed by how i managed to convey my idea with such chicken-scratchy lines.

Aki, Power and Denji (didn't feel like drawing him) in a summer festival?- This was a silly idea for a full drawing I was thinking of at the time. Maybe I'll actually pick this up when I'm done with all my other art.

Fem!Aki- This was also an idea sketch for a daily aki page. Whenever I look at this and the actual page, I cringe ;-;

Idk what to label this one- Doodled this for fun. Thinking about it now, I should do a page where I draw Aki's expressions (obviously the ones where he's getting wrecked)

Aki being uncharacteristically affectionate (he's drunk btw)- This (and the whole page that I feel pretty lazy to show right now) were also sketches for a daily aki page

Obviously self-indulgent Aki- These low quality panels are from two low-quality and self-indulgent comics that I'm probably never showing you guys 😋

Uh....- Yeah I actually don't know what to say other than the fact that these two are based on me just being freaky

also funfact, I drew the one on the right a day after I drew this, because I felt like I did his body wrong

anyways, that's kind of it. If I get another doodlebook and draw him in it, I'll be sure to make another post like this :3

[theteasetwrites]

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon | S1E1 Thoughts

Okay I am gonna list all my positive and negative thoughts regarding each episode (I know no one asked but I feel like this is the only thing I am somewhat “qualified” to talk about ad nauseam on here).

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️ do not read below the cut unless you’re okay with spoilers

Positive Thoughts

Norman’s acting is so good like?? Listen we all know he’s not Laurence Olivier and he doesn’t claim to be but goddamnit he nails the subtleties of Daryl’s expressions and conveys his emotions really well I think! I’m very impressed

Daryl hot

Obviously the cinematography, setting, and aesthetics are really cool. It’s both gritty but pretty!! I love the gothic architecture and how OLD everything looks, which is only exacerbated by the apocalyptic feel

Everyone in the cast is so good in terms of acting (well, I mean… Laurent is certainly there but he’s a child so we’ll be lenient)

Daryl hot

The walkers are great as usual. I love the burners. Really interesting! I’m kind of wondering if the “experiments” the people on the ship refer to relate to the burners? Maybe they’re making them like that idk.

I love the religious imagery. We have had cults and stuff in TWDU before but I don’t think we’ve had this Catholic vibe going on. I’m a sucker for anything nun related because I have a weird infatuation with them, so I’m all for it.

DARYL BATHTUB SCENE??? They put that in for the girls and the gays and we are LIVING for it

Daryl hot

Daryl is so reminiscent of early seasons TWD era with his witty lines and snark remarks. I feel like we don’t get to see this side of Daryl very often anymore, but now that he has his own show and is THE main character, we get to see those sides that have been neglected again. I also love how much he sort of scoffs at the nuns and their religion. Atheist Daryl we love to see it

It’s cool seeing people in France dealing with the same things our characters have dealt with since the beginning. It’s interesting to see these new parts of the world in this universe for sure

Daryl hot

I honestly just love thinking about how when Daryl gets home he is gonna have such a crazy ass story to tell everyone! It’s gonna be so cute to see him telling all the kids about how heroic he is and ugh yessss

Daryl deserves his own show. He deserves to be THE main character. People who said he can’t lead a show? Nah. Reconsider

I also love that Daryl MIGHT potentially save the world. Cool asf. And if anyone from the original series should save the world, I think it’s him.

Daryl hot

Negative Thoughts:

Okay. I have some very petty/subjective critiques. I realize a lot of you guys probably disagree with me but that’s okay! Don’t read my negative thoughts if you aren’t prepared to be annoyed with me lol. Once again, a lot of these are super petty/nitpicky

First thing that bothers me is that Daryl says he is from the Commonwealth. No. He is from Alexandria, thank you very much. Well, at least he should be. He should’ve been living at Alexandria imo but the finale didn’t really make it explicitly clear where he was living in that year time jump. Basically I just hate the Commonwealth because I have zero attachment to it and it’s just a stupid ass place that I wanna forget about

Daryl seeing Carol in his haze 🙄 … just annoys me solely because Carol annoys me. They could’ve just shown Judith because that would’ve made more sense to me. But don’t get me started, I don’t even want Carol in season 2. Anyway.

Laurent isn’t terrible but he’s kind of annoying in that “I’m so smart I know everything” way. Just very annoying smart kid at school who everyone hated vibes. Plus I just don’t think it’s realistic that he would be THAT smart just from being raised in a convent of nuns

I also fail to understand what they’re doing with Laurent. Is he just some kid that the nuns think is the messiah or is he ACTUALLY the messiah? Like are they gonna throw in a whole other supernatural religious element? Because Laurent conveniently knows Judith’s line from the finale “you deserve a happy ending too.” Right down to the letter. I find it cheesy as hell because I’m so tired of these blatant in your face parallels that are trying to be clever, which always involve children too like we get it children are basically the duck tape of TWDU. Don’t know what to do for this plot? Throw some kids in there!

Neither Positive nor Negative Thoughts:

I don’t trust the nuns. I think they’re gonna use Daryl to get what they want and they don’t really care about getting him home. Worse, I think it could be possible that Isabelle won’t let him get home. She already tried to keep him from using the radio. I’m not saying I hate her character or anything (I actually like her so far… as long as she stays friendly and not… overly friendly), I just think she’s way too invested in this “messiah” stuff to actually care about Daryl so I fear she will take advantage of him. We shall see.

Ok, those are pretty much all of my thoughts!

[suosage]

they got rid of a lot of things and that affected so much of ch 123-125's storytelling to me...:

i was surprised bocil rin's monologue was put at the beginning. ch 123 had bl11's meeting put before it, so we first had rin's hall scene; and it's so important to me bc his line there set up the rest of the narration for the chapter... the climax of the chapter was framed as the conclusion for rin's line that was left hanging, "just you watch, shitty brother. I will...": in the consequent scenes, bocil rin said he wanted to be "strong and cool just like him," and he wondered "if I can become the world's best striker" just like sae's dream... to me this says a lot about rin's attachment to sae even now, after night snow happened

that line actually set up the storytelling for the rest of the flashback right until the very last line of it but we'll get to it later

this panel was supposed to be highlighted idk I might've missed it

sae's eyes Speak is what I'm trying to say. I just don't sense it throughout the episode n I need to cook myself two packs of indomie over it

they got rid of itoshi parents' parting lines. it's very sad.

especially since itoshi dad told him to take care of his health. might need to check the manga raw for this but that's the line in spirit. that was a departure scene it just felt a little too empty for me...

BUT WHATEVER RIGHT. THEY GOT RID OF RIN'S LINE ABOUT SAE'S WEIGHT LOSS TOO ANYWAY.

getting rid of rin noticing sae's weight loss was such a huge L too that was his nii-chan GIRL . I'm sorry. I just don't sense the same depth of brotherhood from anime saerin than the manga I'm so sorry

like its so awkward too without that bridge 😭😭 the conversation Was supposed to be a little awkward but the flow of the conversation still feels more like... natural... in the manga. sae only brought up about the world competition after rin brought up about his weight loss, like he's averting the conversation even if the next topic isn't necessarily more comfortable...

I was also expecting rin-chan to be more excited to see sae, especially since sae was supposed to arrive a day earlier than scheduled... but they also got rid of that detail........

also sae's eyes remaining static when rin was complaining is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 just whatever man

they added a new line too for some reason. and by throwing away sae's line "soccer is a battlefield," at that, that rin copied in i think the 1st selection.

"we're half-baked, you and me both" like........ this is just me but i don't think sae would speak of his defeat outright like that.........

why did they change that omg

it just feels like sae's anger has more depth in the manga like his frustration was conveyed so much better, he said "did you think I'd try to console you?" to rin who's about to give up when sae went home early to make peace with his own decision, he sounded his disappointment on japanese soccer, he drew contrast on how rin saw him and how he saw rin, also "don't get the wrong idea just because you happened to be born after me" is just too good to be discarded..

anyways. the build up for rin's snapping is just... guys cmon.

another line that's not included "so then, all that kindness... was it all just a lie, because I was useful?" this should've tied back into bocil rin's monologue in which he called sae the no. 1 kindest in the world and in extension v u-20 rin's contemplation like it just makes it more cohesive. and it's not included...

Speaking Of.

as I said, rin's line "just you watch, shitty brother. I will..." wasn't just setting up the progress for ch 123. it also ties neatly into the end of the flashback in chapter 125, where rin said "sae itoshi, you ruined my life... so I'm gonna ruin yours."

and! You Guessed It!

they deleted that latter line!!! too!!!!!!!!!!!

it's incomprehensible to me. why would they do that. the chapter's title is literally Ruin. rin's core character is about destructive impulses. What

in conclusion Well. at least manga chapter 123-125 will always be there.

And we had extra scenes from additional time too rin-chan sounds very cute there's not one single thought in his head ☺️ he's like a nephew to me

[fizzigigsimmer]

When does billy realise that Steve is just as good a ballet dancer as he is? Maybe they have different strengths and different areas they excel in but one is better than the other right? Sorry, I’ve read one too many fics where billy is better than Steve at everything and my inner Steve girl is frothing at the mouth. I love them both equally but people put Steve down too much 😔

Ooh I love this question, and I get it anon. I love Steve & Billy both for their own reasons. I think I write Steve better/get into his head easier, but that may just be my own insecurity talking. Billy holds a special place in my heart, but he’s also the character I relate most to so it’s just a different experience. Not a bad one, just not as simple. That said, it is SO WORTH THE EFFORT EVERY TIME. IDK what else to say I just love their characters, and character is a big part of why I write anything. When I plot I’m always most interested in the whys of the characters and how they will change over the course of the story, and everything else is secondary. Which is both a strength and a weakness. 🤪 I’m well aware that I can spend pages in a characters internal landscape without actually moving the plot forward.

So to actually answer your question: I don’t have the performance nailed down yet, but there’s this tentative stretch between them being rivals and deciding to be real friends where Steve is making an effort to be friendly to him and BIlly’s not certain he wants to take the olive branch; because Steve scares him. Eddie and Argyle he can keep at a friendly distance but he’s not sure he can do that with Steve, and Steve’s like “nope you’re stuck with me now just accept it.” Anyway he’s torn, until he overhears a bit of an argument Steve has with his dad and is worried about him so he follows him to the studio. Steve’s working on a some mix of combinations for class, blowing off steam and Billy’s watching him pour his heart into it and he’s just struck by it. Steve’s always been good. But that was different. That was electric. Like I can just hear him, “Where the hell have you been hiding that, Harrington?” He’s so pissy at the thought that Steve has been holding back from him. It’s like a personal insult. 😆

The beautiful thing about ballet as an art form is that it’s about telling stories with your body. That means you can know all of the rules and all of the moves, be technically perfect, and it still won’t mean you’re better than the next guy. There will always be things that physically your body can’t do quite as well as someone else’s: shapes, and float, that reads different to the viewers eyes simply because your body and your intention gives it different meaning. Knowing your body, knowing how to bend it, twist it, and push it just right to convey an emotion that your audience can actually feel requires more than just skill, but also self awareness, vulnerability, and an emotional investment on the part of the dancer. Because it’s acting. Only harder because you can’t use any words. And Steve is just better at this than Billy in the beginning. He wears his heart on his sleeve and throws himself into his performances, eager to give the people what they want, and proud of his ability to move them. He’s an expressive, open, and giving performer and a real joy to watch.

When Billy arrives at school he is better than Steve, from a technical standpoint. His technique is cleaner, he’s physically stronger and frankly he just wants it more. That’s because dance for Billy has always been higher stakes. They share a strong connection and a passion for it, but for Billy it has also been his only means of escape and feeling a sense of worth. It also connected him to his mother whom he couldn’t save or protect from the harsh realities/disappointments of their life. And you know what they say, you don’t get diamonds without pressure - so that’s where Billy is when they start. he’s a diamond in the rough and he’s as good as he is because he has to be, or risk being stuck in the same life that killed his mother and is slowly doing the same to him. But it’s a double edged sword, because he’s so focused on needing to be perfect in order to get out that he’s lost sight of everything else - the whole point of being alive in the first place. He’s closed off and walled in. He doesn’t even remember how to eat for pleasure without worrying about how it will change his body and affect his technique. He’s not living, and his dance while technically perfect lacks what the critics would call ‘inspiration’. You can’t make an audience feel what you’re too afraid to feel yourself.

Steve on the other hand doesn’t know what he wants. He’s talented, but he’s aimless and complacent. He’s grown up under the shadow of his mother’s fame as well as his father’s misogyny and subversive homophobia. In his father’s mind, dance is an okay hobby for a little boy to have while he follows his mother around, but he will have to grow up soon and take on a real man’s responsibilities. Real men don’t dance around in tights flipping their hair for a living unless they’re soft. You know?🤷🏾‍♀️ Steve’s dad won’t actually commit to “being the bad guy”. He won’t outright tell Steve to quit being a gay boy and give up dancing because that would make him a homophobic prick - instead he’ll just cut him down with snide remarks and discount all of his achievements while making it clear how disappointed he is in him. And as a result, Steve is stuck, and lazy. Too stubborn to give up the thing he loves entirely, but not confident enough in himself to own who he is and risk total rejection. The fact that he’s always been good and love and adoration has always been heaped on him in dance rooms makes it easy for him to coast, clinging to that high while on his way to his miserable life behind a desk.

Billy shakes up his world. Billy is proof positive that he won’t always be ‘the best’, that the love and attention of an audience is fickle, and he’s 1000% threatened by him. Which makes for some great initial friction, but honestly their love story is about realizing how similar they are, how good they both are, and how much they need each other. They help each other reach their best and I love that journey for them. 🥹