#anyway i'm circling around thoughts of being the same and also a stranger and meeting in the middle

[ishgard]

"Apologies! How very discourteous of me."

The words trip over themselves and he scrambles back a step, face heated. She gawks a moment, and then - laughter. For a split second it nearly mortifies him, but then that feeling passes and it is a balm - a comfort.

How long has it been since he last heard her laugh?

"You've been playing it so cool this whole time, it's good to see you're still the same Alphi in there." She says it teasingly light-hearted, but he notes the relief in her tone.

A relief he shares.

Somehow her words are more comforting than he could have imagined. Even if it comes at the cost of his embarrassment, he is still... him.

[slowdesire]

oh my god ur post about being uncomfortable around ppl who know you and everything from ghosting and to moving accounts and tumblr being the only safe social media bc of its anonymity,,, i've been struggling with this for years and i didnt even know it had a name of its own, i thought it was just how i was or maybe a symptom of regular anxiety at worst and idk if this is something you'll relate to but its especially anxiety inducing for me when ppl who know me from different settings meet and i suddenly have to reconcile who i am with both people, or how ive always been okay with strangers seeing my art but never ppl that actually know me bc then theyd know too much. anyways sorry this is rambly and ik u said what u like abt this site is not having to talk to anyone so pls dont feel pressured to respond i just had to write this down somewhere bc it is a Revelation

it's totally fine that you sent this in! i actually deal better with asks and especially anon asks compared to messages. hope it's okay im responding, if you need me to take this down just let me know :-)

im glad you could relate to my post (which i deleted, sorry😭) on some level bc i know how great it can feel to be seen or understood by others in that sense. i feel the exact same way as you in terms of struggling with people from different social circles meeting, thus making you reconcile different sides of you in a way... i feel like that's an experience a lot of people have, not just limited to avpd or neurodivergence or anything, but it really is such an alienating conflicting kind of feeling. this was especially hard for me whenever i'd date anyone because other than when i dated a friend we all knew, my close friends would always want me to introduce my partner and even if that was perfectly reasonable i was always just internally like sorry i can't do it.... i can't let any of you meet one another. right now im wondering if that was one sign i wasn't all too ready to be in romantic relationships (and im still grappling with my conflicted feelings abt romance and being single rn). that was a huge tangent on my end lol but im just like you, i actually thought i was struggling with general anxiety for nearly forever!!! so the diagnosis for avpd was kind of shocking ... but also made a lot of sense in retrospect. though even right now, after several months, i don't quite know how to deal with it bc i can't afford therapy rn. but the label and knowledge abt it has been useful nonetheless. there isn't as much research on it and it's not as widely talked about, so i'm still trying to figure out what will help me out.. probably DBT (because CBT tends to stress me out for some reason). ANYWAYS that was another tangent ... im not saying you should say you have avpd or anything bc really there are so many overlaps with general anxiety, social anxiety, avpd, and even other personality disorders but !!!! i am just glad my random vent resonated with you and helped you reflect on things. im always trying to reflect too, since this is something i struggle with pretty much everyday in more aspects than just social life, so it's really nice to hear from you :-) making each other feel less alone :-)

[sadachmesarthim]

towers for your honeycomb chapter 3: no i do not condone underage drinking i just think it's a good plot devic-

content: the boys have One Beer Each™, peter both sets and completely ignores his own boundaries, author remembers the communion chapter from "how to read literature like a professor" and bastardizes it, both of them have anxiety but neither say anything about it, smoking

words: 2k     song: outskirts of paradise - bad suns     

Looking Tony in the eye was like staring at the sun. Peter could barely hold his gaze, always finding an excuse to turn away.

He was sat in front of the other man a few weeks later, sharing drinks and pizza at a new brewery down the road. It’d cost him his liquor license, and potentially a clean record, if anyone found out, but Richie (their most beloved regular) offered to let the pair try the latest house brew if they ever swung through.

Peter wasn’t one for beer, but he’d accepted Tony’s invite anyway.

He wasn’t entirely sure why. Since their fight, they’d worked all of maybe three hours together. No other shifts, they avoided each other at meetings, and neither were particularly willing to reach out off the clock and apologize.

It was like the world was screaming at them to stay away from each other.

Peter wasn’t sure he wanted to listen.

After his shift that morning, Peter found Tony outside, leaning up against the hood of his car & working through his second cigarette. He drummed on the side of his thigh, keeping his empty hand busy as he waited for Peter to come out. Tony jumped at the sight of him, tossing the half finished cig down a storm drain.

“You know those lead straight to the ocean, right?” There was more amusement than anger behind his words. Peter wasn’t entirely sure what Tony was up to, but he was too tired to start shit. He crossed to the passenger side of his car, tossing his belongings to the floor.

“Even if it didn’t go through the city’s filtration system – fuck the fish.” Peter rolled his eyes. Funny as he was, Tony always had to be contradictory.

“Don’t you have, like, a school of them on your shoulder?” Tony’s normally visible salmon tattoos were safely tucked away behind a denim jacket Peter’d never seen before.

“Irrelevant.” Peter rounded the hood and turned, facing the other man. “Did you need something or were you just here to argue about my town’s plumbing system?” He huffed the words out, arms crossing in front of his chest expectantly.

“I, uh…” He suddenly went silent. The ground crunched under Tony’s feet, gravel scraping asphalt under his shoes. They were a rattier pair he owned – more tape than sole, oil staining the canvas.

“I wanted to know if you’d come to lunch with me. Today. Like, right now?” He hesitated at the last few words, like he wasn’t sure he could say them out loud. “I, uh. I’m pretty sure I have some things to say to you, and Richie’s got some good stuff waiting for us at the Pub House…”

Peter was astounded. “Who are you, and what have you done with my Tony?” My Tony? What? “I- why should I trust you? I’m sure as hell not getting in a car with you.”

Tony’s face fell. A bit of- what, disappointment? flew across his face. Peter would’ve missed it had he not been staring, impatient for his answer. Tony, floundering at the rejection, couldn’t give him one.

“Okay, maybe- how about this. I’ll think about it. Give me five minutes to go wash up and I’ll be back.” He turned & headed inside, not waiting for a response.

The cool water felt good against his burning, salt-stained cheeks. Peter hadn’t realized just how tired he was – opens had always taken it out of him, and the early spring temperatures didn’t always prevent the stand from turning into a heater during rush hour.

The soap in the stand was always too fragrant for his taste, but it did the job – it felt good to wash away the day’s work and come back looking like a new man. He smoothed his eyebrows down and dried himself off, wetting his hair a bit as he finished.

He wound up with grind in it again, brushing it out with a comb he found in the first aid kit. One of these days he was going to have to start wearing hats to work. Shampooing his hair every single day was taking its toll on his curls, and he wasn’t a fan of burnt coffee smell.

Stepping back, he squinted into the warped mirror in front of him. Much better.

Back outside, Tony’d lit up his third cigarette of the day. The shakes’d largely abandoned him, allowing his anxiety to drift inward. The sticks only did so much – he missed the higher, stronger hit of his Suorin, but he was trying to quit (ironically enough).

He was actually able to finish this one by the time Peter made his way back outside, looking significantly better without $5 worth of product on his face.

“Okay, some rules.” He came up, stopping just short of Tony. “You’re paying for both of us. We leave whenever I want, without complaint. We go straight there and come straight back - it’s eight blocks, I don’t want any bullshit scenic routes.” His tone was firm – something Tony’d never encountered with him before. 

“Yes. Yes, anything. Okay.” 

Tony’s car was a lot nicer than Peter anticipated. He’d recently sold his truck, swapping it for a silver Mini Cooper instead. It was a pretty little thing, just up his alley.

It was also fucking obnoxious. He’d bought it with a modified exhaust and had plans to make it even louder. You could almost always hear him coming, little pop pop pops audible for quite a ways. 

It was… less clean than Peter expected. Tony was always so well put together, so well-maintained - seeing stray gum wrappers and drink cups littered around the interior was almost jarring. He didn’t realize he was staring until Tony spoke up. 

“She’s nice, isn’t she?” Peter nodded. He silently took in his new surroundings, nerves on fire. He’d never done well around strangers, in new places. His mind’d always screamed at him, danger unsafe bad run, overriding his sensibilities.

“Hey, are you good? I can take you back if you need.” They’d barely left the Outback parking lot. 

“No- no, I think I’ll be okay. Just… not where I thought I’d end up when I woke up today, y’know?” Peter tried to laugh it off, but he’d always been pretty transparent. 

Tony turned a corner, cutting back into the lot they just came from and turning the car off. “Seriously, Peter. If you don’t want to come to lunch with me just say so. I’ll take you back to your car and we can pretend it never happened.” Okay, seriously, who the fuck is this guy and what did he do with Tony?

“No, I- I think I’m okay. Seriously. Let’s just go and get it over with - I kinda want to hear you grovel anyway.” He settled further into his seat, failing to shake away the agitation. 

The flatbread was actually really good. It was more of a hipster take on pizza - white sauce and pearl onions definitely making it stand out - but it wasn’t a bad lunch by any means. 

The beer definitely wasn’t Peter’s favorite. He was barely sipping by, trying hard to keep a straight face as he swallowed. Damn Richie anyway. 

It’d started off awkward enough - discussing where to sit, small talk about their week, the weather. It felt more like a bad first date than an apology, but- 

“I really am sorry. For what happened in the fridge.” 

Oh. 

“Okay. Why?” Peter tightened the hand around his glass, bracing for Tony’s next words. 

“I.. I was kind of an asshole when I was younger, too. I figured I could make a fresh start here with a brand new town of people that didn’t know or assume anything about me.

“I was doing okay for a little while, too, but I don’t know man I just.. something happened and I just- I don’t know why I’m a dick to you. But I’m trying not to be. This is that, like, ‘first step’, I guess?” Peter nodded along, attentive. 

"So, I don't know. I'm sorry for being a dick to you at work. I'm sorry for being a dick to the girls. I shouldn't yell at you or drag your family into this bullshit - I'm sorry, Peter."

There it was again, that name. His first fucking name. 

“I- thank you, Tony. It’s a start, and I certainly haven’t forgiven you, but… thank you. Seriously.” Tony sighed, shoulders visibly relaxing. Peter let go of his glass and wiped it off, standing and walking around to Tony’s side of the table. 

“Okay then, time for a do-over! Hi, I’m Peter Parker. I’m 19 and I’ve worked at Outback North Espresso for a little over 9 months. What’s your name?” He stuck his hand out, waiting for Tony to make the next move.  

Tony laughed, pushing his chair back and standing to meet the other teen. “Okay, uh, I’m Tony Stark, I’m 18, and I’ve worked at Outback for almost 6. Nice to re-meet you, Peter.” He shook Peter’s hand, awestruck at just how soft it was. He quickly steeled his face and sat back down, releasing Peter and allowing him to do the same. 

Once he was sat back down at his side, Peter looked up, confused. “Wait, you’re still 18?” 

Tony laughed. “Not for long. My birthday’s at the end of next month.” 

“Wow, I can’t believe I’m older than you!” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “That’s - it’s literally three months, that barely counts.” 

Their debate lasted well into the afternoon, alongside several other discussions. Peter’s childhood in Richland, and what it was like growing up there. What Federal Way was like, and why Tony left. Peter could tell he was remaining intentionally vague, but didn’t push it. 

Their beers were warm and the pizza was long gone by the time they abandoned their table. Tony guided him out the back, hand high on his arm. 

Once they were back in the car, Peter’s anxiety returned. It was like he’d spent the last few hours speaking to a completely different person, and now that he was sitting mere inches from Tony… 

He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t. He wasn’t… sure, exactly. What it was. 

Tony spoke up when he noticed the tension in his passenger seat. 

“Hey, we’ll get you back to your car soon, I promise. Eight blocks, remember?” His right hand made its way to Peter’s knee, digging soft circles into the denim. Just like in the fridge.

“Please don’t- don’t touch me. Without asking.” It came out harsher than intended. 

“Okay, all good. No worries. We’re like, two minutes away.” Tony eased off the clutch, turning right out of the parking lot and onto the road. The windows rolled down and Peter let his head fall back in relief. Fresh air always helped him clear his head. 

It really was a short drive - right turn, left turn, right turn - and they were back at Peter’s car. The doors unlocked, and he was out in an instant. A bit too fast to be respectful, if he was being honest, but he knew he needed out. Tony stopped him before he was able to get in his car. 

“Hey, for real. Thank you for today. I’m sorry if it was too much.” 

Peter looked over and down to meet his eyes. “I- yeah, of course. No, yeah, thank you. For the apology. I’m sorry I freaked out on you. But no this- it was good. Yeah. Thank you, Tony.” 

He turned, unlocking the door and closing it before either could say anything else. After turning the key he sped off, without throwing even a glance behind him. 

Tony watched as Peter peeled away, reaching for the box of Pall Malls in his cupholder. He lit one, shifting into first and heading in the opposite direction. 

Not bad. Not good, but not bad. 

lmk if u want on or off the tags list!

@snowstark @kaleidoscopeluli @parkerrbitch @carelessannie​ @bluestarker​ @longlivestarker​ 

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[colorfullfalls]

I will protect you part 1

Embry Call x reader

Grocery shopping was not your least favorite thing to do, but it was needed. You had been on a health kick and tried to eat healthier after you started going to the gym. You noticed a young man around your age had been closely behind you the whole time while shopping, but you ignored it. It was a busy place and there was no need to be weird about it.

You went to grab the same bag of chips at the same time, prompting an awkward laugh out of the both of you.

"My bad, go ahead." The boy said with a charming chuckle as he stepped back.

You paused to take a good look at him. He look oddly familiar. Brown eyes, brown hair, tan skin, tall. He looked like your boyfriend and his pack mates, by you knew he wasn't a wolf. You hadn't seen him prior to this encounter.

"Grocery store daze am I right? I'm y/n by the way."

"Nice to meet you, it's Wiley."

"Nice to meet you too."

After that day you would see Wiley more and more. It got the point that you had to mention it to your boyfriend.

Embry came over to your small apartment to hangout but mostly to fix your old blazer. The check engine light came on and your mechanic boyfriend wanted to check it out as soon as possible.

You sat in the yard in a lawn chair as he laid below the vehicle. Grease ran down his tan toned arm, making your heart swell. Even after years of dating he still make your heart race and he only got more attractive.

Embry talked about how his day went as he worked tentatively. You listened and added in when you thought necessary. Your mind was clouded by the new stranger that seemed everywhere you went. He seemed harmless really, but why was he following you? He was at the stores, the gym, even in your work a few times within the past month.

You were starting to grow paranoid. You wanted to tell Embry but you feared how he would react. The wolves were overprotective over their imprints and this would drive him mad. He would surely hunt down Wiley. At the same time you were scared. This dude showed up out of nowhere and now is seemingly everywhere you go.

If you didn't tell Embry and something happened, he would be really upset with you. What better person to protect you from a potential stalker than the love of your life that conveniently can shift into a intimidating wolf.

"Y/n? Are you even listening to me?"

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked to see Em wiping his hands off on an old red rag, "I fixed it."

"Thanks babe. Im sorry I wasn't paying complete attention. I really appreciate that. I appreciate everything you do for me."

Embry smiled before reaching down to give you a quick kiss, "I'd do anything for you, lovie." He began bending down to collect his tools.

You blushed and stood up, debating internally on whether to tell him or not. He deserved to know. It was a matter that was pressing. You leaned against the Blazer and crossed your arms.

"If I tell you something, promise not to go wolf mode?"

Embry's body tensed up. He knew that whatever you had to say wasn't going to appeal to him. You never really joke about him going all out wolf. Also you were more clingy than usual, which he wasn't complaining, but you kept asking for him to stay over.

"You can't start with that."

"Please"

Embry turned to you and let his eyes take you in. You seem stressed out and worried. He hoped it was from nothing that he had done. He was beginning to feel panicked.

"hun, whatever it is, tell me. You are starting to really freak me out right now."

"About a month ago I saw this random guy around our age. We grabbed at the same thing and we introduced ourselves. His name is Wiley. Anyway I keep seeing him everywhere I go like to the point that it is uncanny. He shows up to stores that I am at, the gym, and he will come into the flower shop when I'm working. I swear I even have seen his car go past here."

Embry began breathing heavily, "He's stalking you?"

"I don't know- i mean maybe. He seems nice so I don't really know what to think. It's just that I'm a paranoid person and its happening so much that it seems planned." You stopped as something dawned on you.

"what? What is it?"

"The other day fresh flowers were picked and were sitting in my porch. Was that you who did it?"

Embry shook his head no and gripped his hands into fists "I'll beat his ass if he even gets near you again. I'll put an end to this."

"This is what I was afraid of! I don't want you to hurt him."

"Baby, he's stalking you! He found your house and picked flowers! That's trespassing! Who knows what he will do? Until we get this figured out, you're staying at my place."

"That I agree with..." You walked closer and wrapped your arms around his torso. You were scared and wanted comfort from the person who gave it to you the best. This issue had been on your mind for weeks.

He snugly held you, his hands rubbing your back affectionately, "why didnt you tell me about this earlier?"

"I didn't want to upset you. I didn't think much of it until his truck slowly went by the other week. That's why I've been spending so many nights with you. You just make me feel safe." Your voice cracked, your eyes refusing to meet the warm brown ones that are your home.

He kissed the top of your head, "I will always keep you safe, babylove."

Together you two packed a few bags to take over to his shared house with Jacob. When arriving Embry had you go take a soothing bath because those always calmed you down.

Embry explained the situation to Jacob, a few growls leaving his throat at the thought of some creep tracking you down. His pure and beautiful imprint was being followed and that pissed him off to the very core. You were his lover to protect. He kept you safe from supernatural creatures and he would be dammed if it was a human that got to you. Jacob was understanding and vowed to help put an end to it all.

Jacob left to go see his imprint, Heather, so it was just you and Embry in the house. You put on embrys large t-shirt and walked into the livingroom to see him laying on the couch. He lazily opened his arms so that you could snuggle in with him.

"I feel utterly relaxed, as if nothing in the world could bother me... I thought maybe it was because I wasn't home alone, but it's not that. It's you. Being around you takes away all my problems and fears." You confessed, fingers tapping against his bare chest.

He blushed, hurrying his face into your neck, "Im glad. You know, it's the imprint bond. You feel it too, just not as strong."

"no, I think it's as strong."

He scoffed, rubbing circles on your hip, "you have no idea how much I love you. My heart literally beats for you, y/n. It has since we were kids."

Now it was your turn to blush. You knew embry before he turned into a wolf, you actually had known him since you were born. Your mom's were life long best friends and that prompted you two being together all of the time.

Embry was your rock growing up, your best friend. Years spent with him made you slowly realize that you loved him. Neither of you would admit it until he imprinted on you. It seemed that Billy Black, your dad, and Harry Clearwater had bet on it happening since you guys were toddlers. It evident that you two were made for one another.

"You're my world, Em."

He hummed in agreement. He nudged your hand and you knew what he was up to. A grin made its way onto his face as you slid your hand under his shirt, letting it run up and down his back.

"You're a spoiled boyfriend." You mumbled, scratching his back lightly.

He sighed in contentment, "I'm aware. And I thank my ancestors for it everyday.... I don't know what my life would be like if something happened to you and I didn't have you anymore."

"Don't even think about that kind of thing."

Embry slightly pulled away. He stood up and walked to the window.

"Em-"

"quiet." He put his finger up to silence you.

Your heart sank for a second at his tone but realized he was trying to watch something out the window. Something that had his full attention because he failed to sense you coming up beside him.

He noticed you and pulled you closer to his side. The light blue truck was parked across the road and there sat Wiley inside it. Your heart stopped.

"Embry, I know what you're thinking, but don't. I fear being left alone." You said, tightly grabbing his hand.

"And what? Continue to let him do this shit? He is right there, babe. I am going to confront him right now before he has the chance to slip away."

As he fumbled around the dimly lit room to put shoes on, you were shaking. You feared the outcome of this situation. Embry was level headed but when it came to your safety and well-being he wasn't. you hoped Wiley would be gone before Embry got outside.

[milkygcf]

Hiii I c ur doing reqs. U don't have to do this one though. I'm sure you'll be getting many so only if it inspires you 💖 buuttt here goesss. Vkook x reader. Jealousy. Angst. plshappyending. kluvvyouuu.

//credits to @jjks for the gif!//

Pairing | jjk x reader (ft. kth)

Genre | angst, s2l

Warnings | none

Summary |  ❝ Hiii I c ur doing reqs. U don't have to do this one though. I'm sure you'll be getting many so only if it inspires you 💖 buuttt here goesss. Vkook x reader. Jealousy. Angst. plshappyending. kluvvyouuu. ❞

Word Count | 1.6k

Author’s Note | hi anon!! your request is finished! i tried to make it as angsty as i could, although it does stray a bit from the jealousy you asked for 😅😅 yet if you squint, it’s hinted! alongside this, i hope the somewhat happy ending satisfies your wishes! i also hope this is to your liking ❤ thank you for requesting ✨ ________________________________________________________________

Taehyung has to moderately be the most romantic fellow you’ve ever met. You’ve known the dork for a good four years, befriending him at a summer camp your parents practically forced you to attend.

During the span of time, you earned the pleasure to watch him evolve into one fine man. From wearing those ugly pink shorts he was quite fond of, to having half of his wardrobe being nothing but pairs amongst pairs of slacks. You have to admit - despite your imposing disdain towards that garment, you kind of miss it. 

You also miss the countless nights awake tallying the stars that scattered across the sky with him. Or perhaps all the times he’d invite himself over and insist you watch Avatar: The Last Airbender with him.

Anyway, back to Taehyung being the hopeless romantic he is - lately, he’s been hell-bent on trying to find someone he can share his life with. 

And by time, he did.

However, you are not that someone. 

In fact, you are the side character that doesn’t obtain as much luck as the main character does. You sit and stare in the sidelines, watching as Taehyung relished in the confines of euphoria with someone he now calls his soulmate. 

That soulmate is not you.

“If love was a thing, what would you associate it with?” He queried silently one night, fumbling with his phone. Your fingers coursed through his soft locks that splattered across your chest and you frowned. 

If love was a thing, to you, it would’ve been Kim Taehyung. It would’ve been his deep, rich voice, the way it soothes your very soul and leaves you wanting to hear more. Or the constellations in his eyes - those who suppress every memory he has ever endured. Eyes who spill tears and crinkle when his lips curve into a jovial beam.

There are a mass of qualities you consider to be a concept of love.

He took your lack of response as cluelessness, locking his phone shut and letting a sigh flutter out of his lips. “Don’t you think it’s something akin to a warm summer? Or like a walk by the sea, with the fresh, chilly breeze making your hair flow.”

“That’s a way to put it,” you shifted under him, “Although everyone has different perspectives of the very subject.” “And I hope one day I’ll be able to meet someone with that same perspective.” 

Taehyung’s wishes eventually come true. After a span of perhaps a month, he comes running to you with tears of joy sprouting down his cheeks, the most merry smile spread across his lips. He engulfed you in a jostling hug and pecked your cheek, his sentences nothing but a jumble of words that you couldn’t seem to comprehend. 

If you had known back then, you would’ve told him that to you, love was like a rose trapped in an eternal winter. To you, it was lifeless - non-existent. How could you know of such a thing when you skipped the basics and immediately jumped onto heartbreak?

You are in love with Kim Taehyung - that much was clear. 

Nothing could possibly define the state of your heart as you listened intently to the way his voice spoke ecstatically about someone he was going to share the world with. 

“She’s like a rainbow after a murky storm, Y/N, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so exquisite. Her eyes shine brighter than the crown jewels of England!” The way he interprets her makes you giggle - Taehyung always had a peculiar way of saying things. 

Although, the way your name rolls carelessly down his tongue makes you choke - no longer do you find it soothing, no longer do you find that same old caring tone laced into it. Like you were the only person he ever needed. You and him against the world. 

Heartbreak is a menace - god forbid someone ever experiences the turmoil it brings along with it. It is a plight that once you bump paths with, it encases itself around you and never fades. 

Unlike heartbreak, Taehyung becomes a distant memory. He does fade away - lets himself disintegrate in the nooks of your mind. You can do nothing but watch as he scatters any remaining thought of you and leaves it to his youthful moments in life. 

“Ah - sorry Y/N, we’re going out today! Our anniversary is soon, and we were hoping we could plan a small party.” 

“Right, yeah, that’s okay.” You lie right through your teeth, “Can we meet anytime soon? I miss you, you dork.”

Taehyung’s light laughter reverberates through your phone. Another fragment of your heart cracks and crumbles. “I miss you too silly! I’ve been a bit busy lately… What a bummer! I promise I’ll text you as soon as I’m free! Love ya!” 

You’re left with the eerie sound of your phone beeping. 

There’s a reason why you were never really fond of promises. They were meant to be broken - made to be hopes and dreams only to be twisted in the end. Unfortunately for you, the reason for your heartbreak never texted you back after that.

It’s your fault, really, you were the one who couldn’t come clean to your best friend. If you had told him just a sliver of your feelings, maybe things would have been different. Maybe you wouldn’t be watching raindrops trickle down your bedroom window alone. Maybe, just maybe, your sleepless nights would’ve been replaced with warmth spreading through your skin at Taehyung’s tender touch. 

You can do nothing but sulk now.

Except, you sulk until you stumble upon a stranger whom, just like you, battles the scarecrow lurking around them. It tore them down, made sure they praised regret for as long as they reminisce about each memory conceived with their last love. 

His name is Jeon Jungkook, and just like you, he lives with remnants of heartbreak staining his very soul. 

“She was the light of my life,” he announces grudgingly, eyes gleaming under the dimly lit night sky. “It’s like you finally start seeing colour. Like, actual colour, you get me?” 

Of course you do - you’ve been seeing that colour since you laid eyes on Taehyung at summer camp. 

“What about you?” Jungkook queries then, turning towards your slumped figure. Your fingers anxiously pick at the grass beneath you, a frown curving onto your lips. “Me?” Your voice comes out rather silent, a bit distressed. 

“What’s your story?”

“Well, Jeon, I thought I had everything until I carelessly let it slip away. A dumb move, really, it’s all my fault.” But in reality, how could you tell him? Was the result of rejection better than the state you’re left in now? You would’ve easily earned yourself an answer if you’d confessed. 

Jungkook looks at you with pity circling in the pits of his eyes. He makes it his mission to understand your anguish, what causes such disappointment in your features.

And then? He interlocks his fingers with yours and offers you a mellow smile. You turn to him with wide eyes, mouth agape as to what he was insisting. 

“In that case, I hope we can mend each other.” 

---

Taehyung has been out of it since the moment he cut the last call you’ve had together. Your very last interaction. Since then, he’s been throwing himself into his significant other’s arms, hoping that eventually, he’ll rid the guilt etching into him. 

Perhaps if he weren’t so foolish, things would have been different. How else was he supposed to spend his free-time now? He was used to your constant presence - your pearly whites out on show whenever he makes the dumbest of jokes. 

He craves the enjoyment he used to earn himself with you - the euphoric feeling bursting through him as he continues to relish on the beauties life offered with you.

It’s different now. 

The person he wakes up beside isn’t you - the same warmth he’d find himself aching for every time isn’t there. He finally found someone he could course life with, but it wasn’t you.

There’s a feeling nagging at him, yet despite how much he tries, he just can’t seem to fathom it. 

Taehyung is suddenly aware of his current standing. He’s aware of how you’ve become a distant memory - a fragment of his older life, a life he’s abandoned because he seeked out what he’d wished. 

But was it really what he’s always wanted?

His queries are answered when he spots you by someone else’s side. You’re smiling so brightly it’s almost humanly impossible. Something bubbles within the confines of his mind. It’s clear you’re with someone who’s clearly making you happy, although that someone’s not him. 

The very fact makes him feel somewhat conflicted, however he has no clue as to why he feels so distraught. 

You don’t notice his presence whatsoever, focus put directly on Jungkook and the little ministrations he was making with his hands. He was telling you about this one time he watched an animated movie and how he’d further on adapt to the idea of hearing bells when meeting his soulmate. It’s endearing - it makes you want to tune in to more.

Both you and Jungkook found solace in each other, trying to mend your broken hearts despite how challenging it is. You found comfort and happiness, and by time, you both let go of the burdensome heartbreak sitting on your shoulders. 

That, however, didn’t count on Taehyung’s side. 

And as he watches you be whisked away by a stranger he has no knowledge of, it finally dawns on him how he’d lost you due to his foolishness.

[cajunroe]

♫ + one for Ron Speirs, Carwood Lipton, Brad Colbert, Nate Fick, what can I say, I'm greedy :))) as a bonus Ron+Carwood and Brad+Nate, if you feel generous *puppy eyes*

well damn i never back down from a challenge let’s do this

ron speirs:blood on my name - the brothers bright - how could i not do a total dark banger for sparky??? like this man enjoy the thrill of a fight and there’s something somewhat dark that lurks behind his eyes, insidious and not always present but willing to show its face when necessary; there something ruthless about the way he holds himself and it’s almost scary if you don’t trust him or know him; and i think a lot of ron’s personality and insecurities and fault are consumed and hidden away by this thirst for the fight; like i can imagine him in any war ancient or modern or anywhere in between because the way he handles himself is something that kind of transcends circumstance and i just really need to compile all my character studies on speirs into a paper or something; like i realize the way i’m describing him sounds almost non-human but there is something about his bravery that is a little deeper and darker than on the surface; the way this song progress and darkens and heightens from beginning to end just hit his character in the best way possible because there’s something about speirs that borders on a death wish and accepting one’s own mortality and that if you can’t outrun death forever, you might as well get your hands dirty in the process. 

carwood lipton:against the grain - city & colour - if anything stuck out to me about lip it’s his compassion and this song just...idk i can imagine him softly talking to one of the men having a hard time or even a stranger having a bad day, to follow their heart, and god this song just hits me everytime because it’s so beautiful and the lyrics are so real and so raw that i just break down; when you listen to it, just picture lip and you’ll see what i see; his compassion came from a genuine place not because he needed people to go on or do their jobs, the concern was real and his compassion was real and the communicates through his character; the songs reminds the listener that it’s okay to just live sometimes and not search for answers in everything, not everything has meaning and sometime shitty things happen, the worse things in life can happen without any answers and we have to go on without them; “you need not to reach for the stars when life becomes so dark and when the wind does blow against the grain, you must follow your heart.”; even if you have answers, they’re not always enough, trust yourself and your instincts more than anything; lip had an amazing sense of sympathy and empathy for everyone and took care of everyone around him before himself; selflessness and compassion are two traits that are invaluable and he had them both in spades; and the line, “you need not to find a cure for everything that makes you weak” just gives me so much hope during my dark times because it reminds me that i am allowed to have faults and that i can be weak and strong at the same time and that what i’m going through it okay so long as i trust myself to follow my instincts when it gets too be too much and that will always scream lipton to me

please, send me a ♫ + a character’s name or a ship and i will respond with a song that reminds me of them

this is a long post, so the rest are under the cut!

brad colbert:bad habits - fidlar - this song is a bit “showy” for brad but it’s such an absolute “i fucking do what i want and your opinion isn’t needed or wanted or should even be thought” type song; his issues are his own and brad is unapologetic about not opening up or sharing anything and it isn’t from a scared position or anything else, he has emotions and he’s not afraid of being vulnerable because he knows it’s not a weakness or a fault, he’s just genuinely so private that only those closest to him see the real him; he has his bad habits but they’re HIS, no one else’s and he doesn’t need help or anyone to chime in on them because he’s at least acknowledging the fact that they’re there; he knows that anyone who truly loves him will stick around and support him despite these bad habits and they do; anyone else who “can’t handle it” wouldn’t be someone he’d want in his life anyway; the line “i don't care if i'm damaged, honestly, i just think i'm bored” hit me because i always see brad as someone who feels like he should always be doing more and “reaching his full potential” for no other reason than the fact that he likes to keep busy and enjoys all that life has to offer; so bad habits are easy to pick up because he gets bored easy and “idle hands” and all that; not the song i think describes brad perfectly but one that makes me think of him...and ray, every damn time. 

nate fick:seein’ red - unwritten law - there’s something that always stuck with me in gen kill and it was leadership, like it was a main consistency running throughout the whole thing; and nate’s leadership especially was a big point for me because they’re adults but they’re also still relatively young and something about their leading just will always remain impressive to me; especially nate’s and this song is just a real anthem for him and never fails to make me think of the “don’t fuck with my men” scene and i get chills; but it also reminds me of nate always feeling like he had to play catch up or that he was failing even when it wasn’t his fault or when he wasn’t failing, which i think we can all relate to;  like “i confess, i don't know what to make from all this mess. don't have much time for sympathy, but it never happened to me. so follow the leader now.” there’s something about gen kill that forces you to see them as superficial and emotionless until they’re in the thick of it and the reality comes through and all nate wants is to get his men home alive because that’s what leaders do

speirton:life me up - mree - okay so...i like to think that there’s two speirs; pre-lip and post-lip and while he’s still the same, there are significant differences between the two because i really feel like ron “death wish” speirs unconsciously (or consciously) does have a real (small??) death wish before he meets lip and while his recklessness is just as much brave as it is illogical, there’s one person who isn’t scared or him or in awe of him and that’s lip; he jokes with ron and no one “jokes” with ron, he’s easy to talk to and understands the severity and harsh realities or war but unlike ron he doesn’t let them diminish the soft parts of his personality, if anything lip’s compassion and dedication thrives because it is a scarce but highly needed resource in the war and lip gives it freely and without question and ron is in deep before he knows it; lips softens him and you see a lot of ron’s hard line dissapate the more he’s around lip, he wouldn’t have given two shit is someone was sick or about promotions but lip had both and ron was happy for the promotion but worried about the pneumonia because anything could kill them out here and ron would die just to find lip and yell at him for dying from pneumonia; okay i digress but post-war when all is said and done, ron finds himself in a new world, he’d gotten so used to houses with singed wallpaper and missing roofs, that when they’re in a warm home, wrapped up in one another, with only the sound of a ceiling fan and the crickets outside that ron feels like he’s missed a step somewhere; lip came in and changed his entire world and ron didn’t even notice and tbh he can’t even be upset because he’s never felt so content and settled and happy in his life before; lip lifts him up and ron can only try to do the same for him for as long as they’re together

icefick: past lives by børns - something about icefick that always makes me think of them is not realizing you’re in love or being surprised to find that you’re in love and for these two that is on mf POINT.; like they’re so oblivious but in tune with one another that it isn’t until they’re deep in love with one another that they realize what’s going on and by then it’s way too late to do anything about it; they’ve lived so many lives between there and her where they are now and now that they think about it, it was only a matter of time but it’s still surprising and they find all these different moments where it couldn’t have been anymore obvious that they were supposed to be together but they missed it completely; i especially love the lines “past lives couldn't ever hold me down. lost love is sweeter when it's finally found. i've got the strangest feeling, this isn't our first time around.”; like they’ve been circling one another for so long that it’s almost comically it took them so long, but it’s so much sweeter that they discovered it so late because it gave them more time to know one another so intimately and intricately that it’s impossible to part