#anyway i watched the movies literally like 2 months ago (?) and i thought i was over them

[wellzofyouth]

That one post of my mine predictably aged like fine wine. Never let somebody on comic twitter in the writer's room😭😭😭 Like imagine a 1 to 1 adaptation of literally any event?? -1b at the box office. "Who are these people???"

[autismnation]

me, walking into an escape room: omg it’s just like the movie!

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

[idlerin]

nonsense — bonus: unsent letter #1

[n/n],

i know i don’t deserve to call you that anymore, but it’s one of the only things i can keep doing to feel as if i was still close to you. as if you were still my [n/n], my [name].

i don’t deserve you. i know and it’s pathetic, it’s all my fault. i don’t deserve the time, the effort and the love you gave me. it’s cowardly, the way i’m writing a letter that you would never be able to read anyways. again, i am a coward, and an asshole, and a jerk and admitting all that will not make my mistakes any lighter.

i thought of you today again— while i was in a meeting with these directors and producers and it was all so surreal working on bigger projects that i couldn’t help but think about that time when we drove off to that picnic grove when you held my hand and you said one day i would get everything that i ever dreamed of because i was one of “those people” and that it was only natural, and i only laughed and kissed your cheek because at that time you looked so irrationally cute and i was convinced you’d be here to see these goals of mine come true, but now, without you to celebrate these things with me made me feel kind of empty inside haha.

i remembered that you told me that day too that you would love to receive handwritten letters since you watched it in historical romance movies and thought that it was sweet and romantic for someone to do. i regret only doing it when i can’t give it to you anymore without worrying about crossing boundaries.

boundaries i caused myself. i really am very selfish, and you should be with someone who is less selfish that would be better for you than i could ever be and yet if i had the chance or choice for you to not enter my life in the first place i would and could never choose to do so cause i would never i could never ever stay away from you.

ironic as how that’s what i’m trying to do now, but if i was really staying away then you wouldn’t be on my mind all the time.

cause if time would turn back to before we met but i could still recall all the things that happen in the future. before you started tutoring takeru, before you had the courage to give me your gift, before you approached me.

i would seek you out first, and i’d try to make things better that time around.

i’d try to make myself better for you.

but it’s too late for that now.

i miss you

i love you

i miss you

yours, truly

tooru

series masterlist | chapter one

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — the demons prevailed also bOO make things better THIS time around boi ! (he does but wtv tbf hes very sad this was like uhm a month after he moved) also i uhm forgot which chapter i mentioned that oikawa wrote her letters but i wrote it on the fun facts lol

anyways lets all sing 🎵 the letter i received from u 2 weeks ago i noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase, it changed the meaning 🎶

[wolvertooth]

happy 5 month anniversary to me watching the xmen movies for the first time, realizing i kinda like wolverine, getting bored, rewatching the deadpool movies, looking up some poolverine on ao3, finding this fic, and being like 'who tf is victor creed?'

i mean, i already knew sabretooth existed, but only from hulk vs wolverine. i literally hadnt thought about him since i was like 7 or 8. i can kinda remember how i viewed him back then -> guy who was part cat and was rivals with wolverine...or his brother? i cant remember which i thought of him as, i just knew they were connected somehow. i think it mustve been brother, since the movie doesnt show them as rivals, and origins came out the same year. so. someone probably told me that. but i didnt remember seeing them as brothers till just a couple days ago, and even when watching origins that memory didnt come to me for some reason.

anyway, its kinda interesting having 2 views of him in my brain, since now i obviously perceive him wayyy differently.

[stronghours]

saw the cat person movie with @drdemonprince last night, a truly national event, and while definitely like, artistically and craft-wise a bad movie, it was a treat for a couple people who did not like the short story at all - the interesting, charming, and intriguing things about it, though absolutely not done on purpose, really underscored the dysphoria between the reader reaction to the short story itself and the reality of the writing (bad)

1 - the short story came out in 2017! I'd only been in chicago for 10 months! truly this was a geological age ago.

2 - the twitter discourse on the publication of this short story was more encompassing and wild than the short story itself. people compared it to "the lottery". people called it "the first viral short story". people called it haunting and twisted and nasty and trenchant and intense. the extreme blurbage really set it up for a vaster failure to me specifically (the only opinion that truly matters) when I read it and thought it was like, a kind of dull story with listless characters.

3 - short stories have been adapted before! Frank Perry did The Swimmer back in the sixties! He had Burt Lancaster! (don't know where I was going with this - I think was going to say an actually literally wise director can adapt cleverly from brief material, but then I remembered I have not actually watched The Swimmer yet and probably shouldn't say that in good faith)

4 - so anyway - and once again, I think this was absolutely done unintentionally, so not 'good' per say - Cat Person The Movie portrays yes, the text of the short story, but due to both the deficiencies in the text and the deficiencies of the filmmakers, forces itself to literally play out the fantasies of the mass reader reception, fantasies that arguably swallowed the actual short story itself - that this was a chilling portrayal of modern dating/war of the sexes/misogyny/male violence, etc.

5 - I believe these fantasies happened because, 1, a lot of people aren't textually very wise. it is truly fandom bullshit. people have an intense emotion from deficient text or content and then start squeezing blood from stone and things snowball from there

6 - while, once again, I say, the movie most definitely not doing this shit intentionally, it had enough awareness for the usual tongue-in-cheek stuff, not because this was "the good thing to do craft-wise" but because tongue-in-cheek awareness is de rigueur these days, and because the adaptors, though maybe not craft geniuses, have the pragmaticism of Movie/Film People and were like "we absolutely do not have enough shit to go off on" and, again unintentionally, squeezed blood from stone just like the readers from yesteryears and managed to beautifully mimic the mass delusion that surrounded, again, this fucking bad and boring short story and managed to bring some actual violence to the table

7 - due to the fact that this is a Film with Actors and had Moving Visual Images, it benefited from like, you know, some of the actors being charming and kind of funny

8 - the story came out, again, in 2017, the stone ages, and modern dating and the twitter lit scene has gone through several more geological cycles since then, so the whole thing felt just a little old fashioned. the salad days!

9 - the ending close up on Margot's shit-im-nutting face when the second guy asks her out at the movie theater is such a fucking funny choice and departure on the og story, that this girl is now addicted to the rush of thinking every dude she dates is going to stalk/kill/drug her - (and she's correct! robert was, apparently, willing or contemplating to do two out of three of those things! but also - maybe she's crazy too and, you know, kind of deserves it?) like, such a hysterical and cynical choice, masterstroke.

10 - bad story! (no stars)

11 - bad movie! (five stars, would see again, love and light to all)

12 - The Swimmer (1968) dir. Frank Perry and starring Burt Lancaster is free on Tubi

[snarkylinda]

I’m very glad you’re talking about spencer being parentified because it feels like people sometimes gloss over it a bit? or maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places. if this isn’t something you do in you’re blog feel free to just. not respond but do you have any more thoughts or. idk headcanons on how that might have affected him as an adult?

Hi anon! To be honest I have no idea what is essentially discussed alot on the fandom other that a tiny fraction of it I expose myself to because 1#I am too tired and old to deal with fandom discourse about my blorbo, and based on my previous experience with fandoms I KNOW that the most popular the character, the bigger the discourse so haha no- 2# I joined in late lmao literally a couple of months ago, so I am super out of the loop just screaming to the void in desperate needs for someone to scream back 🤲🏼 do this kind of asks actually made me so happy agahagaha 🥰🥰 Buckle up bois this is LONG-

Ok now to those that might come across this and ask themselves what the hell does being parentified means, it's a broad term used for the phenomenon of (at best) a child sharing parental responsibilities due to x circumstance, or (at worst) downright having the parent/child dynamic completely swapped, with the child being the caretaker for the parent and household. You don't have to know deep CM lore knowledge to realize the latter is Spencer Reid to a T. Hell, they aren't even subtle about it lmao:

Btw parentification is often mixed in with abandonment and while they share the "child being forced to grown up" too quickly, the former is often distinguished by the fact that, more often that not as is this case, the parent still cares for them but are unable to do so how it should be (tho there are several cases where parentefication is an part of willing neglect, sadly) and added to the fact that they have to look after themselves- they have to look after another.

This is a really complicated, broad topic and I just mentioned this to go full disclaimer and that I don't blame Diana at all for how messed her son ended up since she can't help it- and to make a joke about how Spencer was abandoned and parentified. Also harassed. Guys he wasn't even 18-

Anyways but back to your question, how do I think that affected Spencer growing up....well in everything basically lmao

But I will take on two instances that had stood up to me the most: emotional management and hiding secrets.

The second one is easier: you would catch this man dead before he vents to you over something other than his shitty dad (that I find very funny tbh) and when he does is because he is at his limit and about to fucking cry.

Now don't get me wrong: we all are entiltde to our privacy. These are grown ass adults and they have lives outside of their working circle....

Right?

Haha we have an problem-

So yeah, Spencer kind of actually needs to rely on his co-workers because he has literally nobody else to rely on-

And yet

Oh here is the thing- Spencer is one polite boi but he is also blunt, if he doesn't want someone on his business he says so (look back when Alex discovered him and Maeve) this is literally "I wanted to tell you but I feel like I shouldn't"- this is not season 1 mind you, this is season 11, and yet here he was one of his oldest friends literally grabbing him by the arm and having to tell him it's never a bother- I am the only one fucking crying at this?

Excuses seems to come to Spencer like it's second nature- "sorry a tube on my apparment broke" "Oh I....I tripped!" "There was a lot of traffic so..." "I was watching an movie" and I am not am expert on USA's history or some shit, but Child Protection Services had been a thing since at least the 60s, so I don't think that a 10yo living alone with his mentally ill mother would have flown well- you get the idea.

I think this scene summarizes the whole thing perfectly

Get it? it's irony. (I love how Spencer is about to say something like dismissive "thank you" but because this shit hit too close to home to comfort he just gave a polite smile and walked away. That silence was LOUD) Because Spencer had always had done the former but the latter er.... :D

And it's not only when it concern Diane btw, any problem whatsoever Spencer would rather lock himself up (literally lmao) that sit down and talk about it- it's only when his bs is exposed and he can't refutage (like that little scene after Gideon's death when Rossi asks him if he had been there all night- he points out the fact he is wearing the same cardigan as the day before) that he opens up....or he runs away, which leads me to the second big point that I think shows how much Parentification fucked him up:

Spencer has the emotional maturity of a teenager.

I talk about this literally all the time so I'll be shorter lmao basically Spencer... has an issue- ok he has lot of issues- and that is the way he dislikes direct confrontation, so whenever he is hurt or angry he would rather be dismissive and passive-agressive that talk it out with the person- even going as far as turning away and storming out of the room.

(Here is the part where I put the screencaps but him storming off would be out of focus so lmao er.... Elephant Memory, Memoriam, Proof, a little part in 15x2 and The Gathering)

Now... I do think that a grown-ass man doing this shit is hilarious, like I love Spencer's bratty side so much lmao but it's an clear sign of someone that never learned how to deal with his emotions on a healthy way, someone that 6 out of 7 days of the week had to interiorize everything in and because of that holds on so much....resement, so much repressed anger but also without an stable force on his life to help him manage that- so we are left with an teenager trapped in an adult's body, loss at how to handle shit like he always did.

....And want to know the worst part about an Parentified boy onto adulthood?

That they don't know better.

[dogcodedcatboy]

HI CRICKET!! you said “literally anything” and I’m taking it literally okay?/lh

I’m having unprecedented levels of brainrot abt a movie i watched MONTHS ago!! Why does this keep happening to me!! I’ll watch something and be like, “oh that was cool, sure hope it doesn’t alter my brain chemistry!” And it doesn’t! For awhile.

And then it DOES. Out of nowhere 😭😭😭

Anyways.. I’m guessing not and I’m not even sure you fuck with horror movies but have you ever watched “Late Night With The Devil?” Soooo fun/fucked up i loooove it/gen

THE SAME THING happened to me with succession omg. i made it thru 2 seasons having a Normal tv watching experience and then something went wrong when i saw s3 roman....the brain rot started spreading...

its kinda nice when it sneaks up on u tho!! i kinda like the idea of ur current favorite thing sneaking up on you / being something you didnt expect to like so much ^^

OH DO I FUCK WITH HORROR MOVIES... im actually abt to impulsively buy tickets 2 a 10pm showing of The Substance (idk if youve heard abt that one yet but WOOF everyones saying its fucked). i did like late night with the devil!!! always weak for the 70s halloween aesthetic . i thought it was a rlly cool premise and even though it didnt Scare Me it was a good watch!!!

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley--May 2024

hi welcome to mike's media medley where i talk about movies and games i experienced for the very first time this month yippeeeeee

feel free to give me recommendations for things i should watch or play! this month i did actually watch something recommended to me! here r the things i watched this month:

2024 movie/show releases: The Fall Guy, I Saw the TV Glow, Challengers

non-2024 movie/show releases: X (2022, recommended to me!) Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

games: : Little Kitty, Big City (2024), Hauntii (2024), Hades 2 (2024), Birth (2023), A Way Out (2018)

here are my thoughts on all of them, in alphabetical order: movies/shows first, then games, spoilers for most.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

so i saw a trailer for this movie a while ago, where after a whole town's private things get leaked online they all go crazy and start killing each other and a bunch of teen girls are at the forefront being victimized by them and also potentially victimizing other people so i saw that Bodies Bodies Bodies was on netflix and decided hell yeah let's watch that and i kept waiting for the thing to happen

turns out that trailer was for a completely different movie but anyways

Bodies Bodies Bodies was. pretty fun i think! i was NOT very confident it would be good for the first five minutes because they played some godawful song at the beginning that went smth like 'i'm daddy as fuck' and i turned to look at my friend that i was watching it with and went oh this movie might be bad

luckily it got better. i really enjoyed the lighting choices i.e. having a lot of the lighting come from characters' phones or glowsticks, and while i definitely got the themes of paranoia when the ending twist was revealed it made me look back at the movie in a whole different light and appreciate it more.

i think the movie is at its best when its satirizing of gen z takes the forefront ("your parents are UPPER. MIDDLE. CLASS" rachel sennott you are so fucking funny) but i think the rest was a good time. i might watch it again. it's not like the bestest movie ever but it's fun with friends

70/100

Challengers (2024)

it wasn't *bad*, but i don't think i enjoyed it as much as other people did

i do think the messy relationship dynamics are probably the strongest thing it has going for it, and choosing to use tennis to channel subtext (and sometimes, Just Text) was interesting. the fucking. tennis POV shots went insane and there were some directing choices i liked. personally a big fan of whenever the movie pulls a wide shot of the audience and everyone else is moving their heads in sync trying to track the ball but zendaya just Kubrick Stares ahead

other than that. idk i just didn't really like any of the characters nor have any sort of emotional investment in them. and i do think some of that was the point. zendaya's character in particular being so obsessed with tennis; it's such a core part of her identity, and you can just feel the way she resents her husband. but then her husband sucks too and so does their ex bf and when the movie hinges on the outcome of the tennis match (both literal and metaphorical between the characters) and i don't give a shit about any of them and want them all to die then i think the movie just doesn't work the way it should because i Do Not Care

anyways the score was good but also very funny. two characters will just be staring at each other talking quietly and the score is going the fuck off

my final most controversial opinion is i think this movie got so much hype because it made u guys horny. honestly good for u. still didn't care for it tho. didn't *hate* it but i would probably not watch it again it was just Perfectly Fine. middling. Mid, the kids might even say

50/100

The Fall Guy (2024)

finally some good fucking food

honestly it kind of hurts my soul this didn't do well at the box office. as someone who wants to go into movies i really loved the 'we're making a movie' part of it, the frantic nature of trying to shoot a project where things just keep going wrong, the coordination and effort required to pull off stunts and effects like pyrotechnics or hell even just filming a car chase. mwah

it's also pretty funny. winston duke is in there and he's so fucking good. romance was Fine but i think it was really carried by a lot of the movie's funniest scenes involving the tension between Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt.

between this and bullet train i just like the way David Leitch directs action. i don't normally rewatch action movies like this but i do think i'll watch it again in the future because you can feel a lot of the passion for the craft in here and that's what excites me the most about it

80/100

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

GO WATCH I SAW THE TV GLOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

mane. i think this movie changed my life unironically. idk i have so much to say but i dont want to spoil anything on the off chance someone reads this and wants to see it PLEASE go see it. two friends who were obsessed with a horror TV show in the 90s grow up and consider the possibility that it was More than that and there's so much about just. time moving too fast, feeling empty inside, gutted, latching onto this thing in their childhoods so hard as a form of escapism, things are not supposed to be this way and it really hits hard.

the way the movie looks is gorgeous, the color grading lighting and cinematography just give it this offbeat feeling. one scene in this movie is scarier than literally all of the horror movies i have seen this year.

my only complaint is the delivery by both main actors. it was definitely intentional but sometimes it just...drags. especially when you don't realize at first that it *is* intentional. it just feels like bad actors reading off a teleprompter at times. (ominous foreshadowing)

anyways go watch it neow

90/100

X (2022)

(sexual assault mention)

i didn't really like this movie tbh so i don't have a lot to say about it. i found mia goth's accent to be VERY distracting. i'm from texas and i do know quite a few older people who speak with a typical southern accent but hers was so exaggerated it was hard to take any part of the movie seriously. i knew what i was getting into before watching so i wasn't triggered necessarily by any of the movie's content but i still didn't enjoy it much. probably fun if you like slashers more than i do and don't mind seeing a naked grandma molesting multiple people

i think it was competently made though, so idk 30/100?

games:

A Way Out (2018)

was looking for a co-op game to play with my brother while he's in college so we settled on this one. it was like. Fine. i don't remember much that happens in it but the cooperative stuff was implemented well enough

i think the most interesting thing that happened the whole time was when we finally escaped prison and got to a bridge with cops on it. i said 'we should just get in a car and run the cops over'. my brother said we should find a way to move under the bridge. then like 10 seconds later our respective characters made our exact suggestions in-game and we both burst out laughing

Birth (2023)

Birth is a point and click puzzle/hidden object game and I enjoyed it quite a bit! it has a unique and weird, slightly off-putting aesthetic but that's really a lot of its charm. i love the weird crunchy/clinking sound effects everything has. sounds like. bones idk

i like the themes of the game but it doesn't really have a narrative, just some nice concepts/ideas to sit with. none of the puzzles were frustratingly hard and i only ever had to google puzzle solutions like twice (and one of those times it was just because i somehow overlooked the 'interactive' part of the puzzle, i'm sure if i saw it sooner i would've figured it out without needing to look it up). cute little game, definitely give it a shot.

Hades 2 (2024)

do i really have to say anything its hades fucking 2

you can pet a FROG. goty

Hauntii (2024)

hauntii is a twin stick shooter about haunting objects in your environment to progress through mostly linear paths and it looks and sounds beautiful. the art reminds me of houseki no kuni a lot and i was always impressed by it

impressed enough that i played it a couple hours despite not finding the actual gameplay particularly compelling. i think it has a sense of humor to it and visually its a treat but at some point i just got bored and set it down. i have an extremely low tolerance for boredom in video games though, some of you might find this to be a really chill experience

Little Kitty, Big City (2024)

untitled goose game but instead of a goose terrorizing a small british village you are a cat terrorizing a large japanese city

this game was cute! first thing i'm gonna say is the controls were frustrating sometimes and the camera got kinda wonky with certain actions, the platforming elements were also kinda wack sometimes BUT i could overlook most of that because of how charming the rest of it was

i met most of the other animal characters and thought they were cute too. big fan of the magician chameleon. tasks like knocking over jars just to be a menace, earning emotes that let u make a disgusted face, dedicated meow button...im a cat im a kitty cat and it was fun yippeeeeeee

i finished the game in about...6 hours? as in i climbed back to my apartment. it gave me the option to continue my game to complete everything but i was fine with all the content i'd done so far. i didn't 100% it but i'd collected a lot of hats and done a majority of the side quests. cute small game.

HOWEVER. very expensive for what it entails. 15 dollars max for it sounds good but this thing is going for 25 dollar. i'd wait for it to go on sale.

[edgiestdude]

New post since 2 months. This blog is basically dead.

How do I start? Well a long time ago I was a RWBY fan. I found this series after watching Camp camp and Nomad of nowhere. During this time I was craving more Roosterteeth content, so I checked out RWBY.

Okay I'm going to share my over all thoughts about this since there's either this one side or the other. It was an alright show. It wasn't one of the best things I've seen since Samurai Champloo nor was it the worst thing like Velma or the amazing Bulk. See I have a very high yet low standard due to me liking shows for story and such, but I also know that there's always a bigger fish when it comes to terrible quality (there's a literal movie called selfie man).

RWBY was kind of mid (not in meaning terrible just somewhere in the middle) because where there was things l liked about it (the story is ok, I like some of the characters, and the setting) there was things that kind of brought it down (Volume 5, thanks grey, some voice lines [Blakes “I run away too much” line], some weird story elements like Hazel wanting to get revenge on Ozpin, yet siding with Salem [though one can argue that Salem brainwashed him or somethin] and Cinder herself [ love her design though; especially her Vol 1-3 outfit]).

I guess I’m just spouting all this shit because… I’ve grown distant so far from this show and fanbase. I hardly ever check on the show and the fanbase then when I used to. Nowadays I just brainstorm these ideas for numerous story’s and literally spend all day doing school work, watching films and anime, and, sometimes, even researching stuff for my story’s lodged in my brain (don’t know if that’s weird).

I guess I’m not into the show anymore. And I guess since the shows not appealing anymore, I might as well consider this a farewell to the community. Y’all was probably the most interesting fandom I’ve ever been in (and that’s cause I was in the undertale fandom at one point)

This fandom was a wild tornado of drama and shit like holy fuck. I know in the past I’ve repeated the line “I’m gonna leave this show because of the fandom”, which kind of sounds whiny to me now. Yet I never left. For some reason this show had a special dedication in my heart which is why I made this blog to begin with. To criticize those who make dumb takes and such. I know at one point I was gonna make a post about ironwood (though considering I’m writing this that seems unlikely).

I guess ,in the long run, I wanna say… thanks for making me a member of this fandom for at least a year and a half. It was an interesting ride with y’all in the fandom. For those still watching the show, I hope you keep enjoying it the way you do. And as for the insane RWBY critics and RWDE, y’all need to calm the fuck down. Seriously RWBYs far from being a god awful show ( I’ve seen worst).

Anyway, I wish y’all a farewell. Oh and I’m barely writing this right now so sorry for any mistakes I made.

[osomatsusan2015]

if you sent a message to this blog in the past year (or literally ever) i'm sorry i never saw it, since I primarily used tumblr on my cell phone after I graduated high school... someone mentioned I was getting reblogged by an alleged groomer and I won't publish the ask since it was pretty old but I did block them. they weren't on my activity page at all but it was from several months ago after all.

this was always just a reblog account more than it was anything else (as much as I would have loved to make original content, it just wasn't something I ever had the energy for); but if you liked my silly blog even when the url was thinkinboutthatneet then i'm glad.

i never thought my interest in ososan would wane especially since my other interests are so... everlasting. i still care for it a great deal, it's just not as big a part of my life anymore. I never even finished season 2 or watched the movie. I think I got close to finishing, but I stopped right at the last episode. you know how sometimes you put off finishing a game or show because you don't want it to end? yeah.

i have a lot of good memories of the ososan fandom, even if it was a true mess of a community. but I always kept to myself so thankfully I only ever saw that mess from the sidelines. anyway, it's crazy that we've come such a long way. when i was looking at this blog's activity, there was this little alert:

like shit. god damn. i wasn't very active for the past few years, but I can't believe it's been that long. I mean, i changed my @ to osomatsu2015 a few months ago or something so I knew, but it's still crazy. like i said, i never had the energy to post original content, but almost everything i was drawing at the time was ososan. i have so much art that i never posted... this stupid show was a part of me.

im not sure how to end this post; i just was going through my blog settings and activity when i saw the asks i got and then this notif^ and decided to reminisce... so if youre seeing this thank you for reading and thank you for following my little blog. these stupid neets were important to me and in many ways they still are.

[braceletofteeth]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @kissporsche 💕💕 which made me really happy because a few months ago they initiated a conversation with me and I was too much of an introvert to keep it going, so I had thought then that I had lost my chance at friendship forever 🥲

Three Ships

The (un)holy trinity: Hannigram (from Hannibal), Jongmoon (from Strangers From Hell) and VegasPete (from KinnPorsche).

First Ever Ship

It's hard to pinpoint the exact pair... Hmm... I'll tell you about the first one I remember being obsessed about, as in reading all the fics available about them-obsessed. I was eleven? Twelve? Anyway. That would be Cato and Clove, from The Hunger Games. They were not canon in the book (or the movie! They were done SO dirty in the movie!!! I CAN'T EVEN FIND A GIF OF THEM TOGETHER TO INCLUDE HERE 😤), there were just one (or two?) moments that could be interpreted like that, if you had a wild imagination 😅 Fortunately, at that time, me, and a bunch of other kids who enjoyed the tragedy of it all, read too much into it.

So, while everyone else was discussing the love triangle of the main characters or shipping themselves with Finnick Odair, we were in a dark corner crying and throwing up because of two kids who were raised to become killing machines—the star-crossed lovers from District 2, as we liked to call them.

Last Song

Keep Asking Me, by Francis Well. It has a feeling similar to Little House On The Hill, so I think of them as sisters.

Last Movie

Cherry Magic: The Movie. I had already forgotten the gifsets I had seen about it, months ago, so everything was a surprise.

[spoiler alert] My favorites scenes were the ones of Adachi and Kurosawa meeting each other's families, even though it seemed like my heart was going to jump out of my chest in both occasions 😀

Currently Reading

Making my way through the PrapaiSky tag on AO3 (meaning I'm reading literally anything and everything that sounds slightly interesting).

Currently Watching

1. GAP. I haven't watched the most recent episode yet, but it seems we're reaching the climax of the story. I'm already dreading the moment I'll have to let go of all my girls (+ Mon's step-father) :(

2. Star & Sky Series. I've finished Star in My Mind, and I'll start Sky in Your Heart (which is the part two? the spin-off?) soon (allegedly. Never trust a 'soon' coming from me).

3. TharnType. Only a few more episodes to go. Absolutely bonkers show.

4. Summer Strike. The healing type that I had been saving for when I needed it most.

5. Beyond Evil. I had been saying for a long time that I was going to rewatch BE, but never got around to do it (16 episodes! Who has the time!!). My brother was browsing Netflix looking for something for us to watch together, and suggested BE. I thought he was joking (he has already rewatched it 5 or 6 times by himself 🙃), so I agreed, also joking. Turns out, he wasn't joking 😀😀 So now we're watching it again (*in my first time, I watched it with him as well). It's been a really different experience, watching it from the perspective of someone who knows what they should be paying attention to (I wish I had forgotten the details so I could enjoy the unpredictable mystery again, but it seems I still remember most of it 😅) .

Currently Consuming

Crackers.

Currently Craving

Eight (or more) hours of sleep. No waking up because of freezing temperatures, bad dreams, or the men working on a new floor for my neighbour's house in the early hours of the morning.

... I haven't had one of those in a while 😞

Tagging

Since it's people I'd like to get to know better, I'll tag the blogs I started following more recently: @saturnskyline @leporschespam @ronandhermy @teakrush @stillqueerstillhere (it's absolutely okay to ignore this, though 😊✌)

**If there aren't 9 it's because I'm bad at math.

[fitzpirations]

Some thoughts on me seeing Days of Wine and Roses like,, almost a month ago now but I don't feel like editing it other than to add a few extra bits in bold & at the end. Overall, I really enjoyed it! Intrigued at what's next for the cast & crew, and if I could see it again/replicate my first viewing I probably would.

My thoughts, like film have developed and I am mostly out of a terribly weird headspace that I was unfortunately stricken w/ this weekend and I gotta say I loved Days of Wine and Roses.

~~~~~~~

I do think it’s perfect in the theatre it is right now & while I would LOVE for it’s actors to win very big awards for it and do believe they are due… for me a transfer is not the right move. Willing to debate on it! I think the story is important and unique and beautifully told but,, I also think the set/sound/lighting design @ Atlantic is special and can’t imagine it staged differently. It perfectly fits that space and needs that intimate of an audience, in my opinion.

anyway, this isn’t a full review & no one cares, but I’m so stoked with how things turned out & with my friend and I scoring great cancellation ticket seats & seat upgrades for a very cheap price and the fact that REDACTED who I adore was also there. my friend spoke to them while I blacked out- it was very neat. So embarrassed of myself for our post-show interactions that I’ve physically cringed and tensed up every time I think about it but! The show keeps replaying in my head and I’ve been thinking more and more about how it was told and listening to the demos and I just think how great is it to see a new piece of live theatre! I went in knowing a barebones plot (and purposely avoided real reviews, the demos, and the original movie) and was so happy to go on that ride. I do so so wish my mental health wasn’t being all finicky because I think I would’ve been all the more immersed in it but- nothing I can do about that. Luckily I didn’t say much of anything to the redacted actors in question, but my lack of interaction with one while my friend spoke to them and kept nudging me & my theatre equivalent of “good game” to the other will haunt me forever ❤️ my only consolation is I believe I wasn’t memorable in my presence & that maybe 1 day I’ll properly meet these people who I literally adore as a fellow creative. Wouldn’t that be nice. Until then, I will continue to beat myself up about it LOL. It’s so,,, I hasten to actually explain it more, but I feel about 3 feet tall thinking about it.

And did they drink ANY wine the whole time??? I’m very Kirsten in the first few scenes-coded in that I don’t drink and really never should be convinced to, haha. So I’m not super knowledgeable on names of booze- but I think I would have noticed them drinking wine, red wine at least. And no roses, just sad tulips. Oh! I could go on about the 2 little transition scenes they do with ok, both the “wine” (the bag from the liquor store that they have you you to believe is only holding one bottle) and the “roses” (the soon-to-die Tulips). Like it’s set up as a bit of like? Something to watch while they’re moving things around but actually? It reappears in the actual plot in a large way. And so many moments echo and mirror each other in words, actions, and song between Joe and Kirsten, but the reprises (so to speak) are new and fresh. Just so so neat. What a fun & exciting new piece of theatre. And why is the rolling out of the bed all the way to the front of the stage so funny? maybe it just was to me.

anyway anyway I have a lot of thoughts/they keep coming in and like loading which is wild. Like I’m joking but it’s as if I blacked out?? Perhaps someone on here will appreciate the image of me debating just buying closing night tickets even though I was too cheap to spend full price on any other performance// but a newer friend of mine posted a story of like, the New York Times review on opening night and I responded to it like “I’ve been dying to see this show!” and he was like “yeah haha it’s really good I’m working press on it lol isn’t that funny and I had to take a group pic with Kelli and was emailing her to arrange something and she saw me and called me over by name and gave me a hug- I didn’t know she knew my name!” I worked with this guy on the show I stage-managed recently and he’s in the process of quitting his sweet sweet press agent job and I’m not a close enough friend to acquire tickets from him and let me tell you,,, I was absolutely losing my mind reading this .

cut to my (other, closer) friend and I rolling up to the show without tickets the other night, with just hope & a dream and we were like 'wouldn’t it be funny if we saw like ~celebs/Broadway people because a lot of them are off tonight?' and we were chatting about watching the Tony's and stage-dooring and other unrelated stuff & we get tickets after 20 minutes and go to dinner and when we come back she’s like look it’s REDACTED TONY WINNER and I’m like omg. We go to step into the building proper and who do I see but my literal favorite actor at the moment other than REDACTED who is in the show and I was like friend it’s REDACTED! and she’s like go say hi and I’m like??? No I will not be doing that. And she’s like but he’s your favorite! And hey, we’re here to see REDACTED, who’s your other favorite! It’s a big night for you! But she was so loud that I was like looking straight ahead embarrassed that the random people in line would hear us. Literally what a time though, we had standing room tickets and then we got moved up like twice to center row, perfect view seats. Literally like a day later I was finally like O MY GOSH about it all,,, the desire to not be crazy about any of it and keep cool made me robotic in the moment and I’m very pro leaving-people-who-don’t-know-me-alone, so the circumstances were odd.

Anyway I literally have a notes app I keep throwing thoughts at about the most random moments from the show or the staging and it’s v good theatre. Like I enjoyed it, but wasn’t in love or anything but the more I stew on it, it’s a random choice of adaptation, a weird little show, its stars (including the actress playing their kid) are arguably all too old for their roles, there’s a song in Norwegian?? the opening number didn’t give me the ick but I was scared for my life that Brian was singing all of his lines// like I knew it was going to be a “two-hander” and read that the others other than the kid don’t really sing but that opener,,, I was like o no do I hate this? But also the set was so cool and as a recent big fan of Brian is was v cool to literally see him irl (lame I know) but why does the cast just pose in the beginning and slay for like 30 seconds? Idk but it was v 1950s chic of them idk idk we literally were clapping like,,, YEAH 👏👏👏 yeah! 👏👏 . And the scatting/jazziness of it all, I literally was shook but so pleasantly surprised by it all. What a treat! New musicals!!!

ok i literally never resolved the point I was making that the opening scene was not my thing and I was a bit scared I was going to hate it, but really enjoyed like the following 90%! Something about the first song is that it shouldn't be a song, in my opinion. I get why people are tempted to call it a play with songs, but I do think it's a real musical. Just was a bit cursed watching Joe singing right off the bat when no one else did, imo! If I were to see it/hear it again I may come around to it, but something about the way he was like half-singing was weird to me lol

but also randomly saw something from a video (that I haven’t watched as of yet) of Kelli saying they were supposed to open on BROADWAY February 2021 I think?? (tell me they wouldn't have closed immediately w/ omicron? or am i mistaken, I watched like 3 shows I was rooting for that season close early, and there were a TON) Literally the more I think about the show I’m like,, respectfully don’t transfer to Broadway,, it’s so special where it’s at, like I know Atlantic announced its next season I feel? But I don’t know what theatre it would fit in correctly, they’re all too big and the opposite of the intimate experience it is rn. In a perfect world I literally want them to film this version (which I know is the epitome of highly unlikely) but also, I think realistically other than the star power of the cast and creative team it’s such a hard sell for your typical theater-goer or tourist and I would hate for its history to be one of a flop like,, what have we learned from The Sweet Smell of Success :((( I also learned via Kelli ‘s own post and someone’s reference on here that there’s a full boot of that…someone please me up with a link!

So what have we learned. A lot of takes I have not shared,,, it turns out I can get starstruck and it’s so embarrassing it makes me want to scream. Show is good! I’d love a cast recording and for it to not just die but,,, I’m fearful of the idea of a transfer- it seems like it’s likely happening anyway, someone on the team commented on Kelli’s ig about the Tony's all like “excited for next year!” And my press agent friend is all “they’re eying a transfer!” And it’s not that they don’t deserve it but… idk I will remain skeptical of that. I truly believe it can be a success where it is now, and that just because it isn’t a Broadway show doesn’t mean it isn’t impactful and rewarding creatively and etc etc there is the part in my brain like this is Brian’s Tony tho, no?

I firmly believe had everything w/ Next to Normal gone down differently he would have beat those little Billy Elliots’s in a heartbeat, but I digress. Like other than SSOS which I only have a idea of (and no clue about that year’s competition from the top of my head) he’s been up for 2 comedic roles which are hard sells in a category with “proper,” dramatic roles nominated -as in, actors who appeared in a leading role in a drama- and then ITW-which I have thoughts on separate from who his competitors were- which tows that line and sadly like,, it wasn’t even close for him. I feel like every nom he’s had doesn’t even quite show off how talented he is as an actor like idk how to describe it, but idk. I want a Chip Zien nom & win for Harmony, which my brain tells me may be a featured role but if it’s lead… all hypothetical but I’m not rooting on the show’s downfall… I just think it’s perfect where it is.

Anyway... chaotic highly informal thoughts but I also have a few screengrabs from my notes app note I am going to paste below. Would love to hear someone else's thoughts, and am willing to say, obviously, one of the REDACTED's in question is BdJ.

[marshiestars]

Tag 9 People You Want To Get To Know Better

thank you @scrawnytreedemon for tagging!! let’s begin, shall we? :3c

Three Ships: ughhhhh this is real hard because I JUST invented the most horrible, wonderful “why does it work” crackship a few weeks ago, but if I want to include it, I have to ignore one of my three big zelda ships :C

1. Ghiralink. because of course. I feel like it’s illegal to leave this one out or put it any lower. it’s the good food. it’s well-established. I can afford to be picky with my content. it’s great :D

2. Astlink! sorry Kohlink, but Astlink is less likely to scare half my audience away 😔.

tbh I’m still VERY surprised that Astor and Link aren’t paired together nearly as often as Zelast (Astor / Zelda). don’t get me wrong, both are rare pairs, but somehow Astlink is even *rarer* shksjhdjhsshs, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. either way, it's 'moody goth bitch rejected by society (or maybe he rejected society first, it's a chicken or egg situation tbh) with the perfect golden person that everyone admires who secretly has their own issues'!! and it's about how they're on the complete opposite sides of this huge conflict and yet they find unexpected parallels in each other! and having everything fall apart but deciding to be a better person, even when the rest of the world says it's too late, because that one person believes in you and is willing to give you a chance! darkness and light! it's GOOD FOOD

(...man, I really gotta finish chapter 3 of swordsman and the seer.)

3. ...fuck it. scrawny, I hereby challenge you for the title of Weirdest Fucking Crossover Ship. Ghirahim x Godrick? Sephiroth x the Hollow Knight? I'm intrigued, but not crumbling to ash at the thought.

and so I give you this in place of gushing about Kohlink, which is unbelievably rare, but damn it, at least they're from the same source material! besides, I wasn't the first person to pair them by a long shot, no, no, no.

but there’s a special, lonely sort of pride in knowing you’re probably the first of 8 billion people in the world to ever even think of a pairing. ready? here it is:

R*x D*ng*rv*st x S*np*i from FNF.

(censored their names like that because if this shows up in the tags I’m gonna jump out a window)

yeah, man. I don't even know either.

I mean, I do know, somewhere, and my original train of thought is buried in the memory slush of a few months ago, gone forever. so now we're here. fuck. kill me. why am I writing shit for these two. girl what the hell is this

everyone who reads this post, I want a brick emoji in my inbox to simulate getting one through my window

First Ever Ship: ANYWAY, fuck, I don’t even remember at this point, I've been in greater fandom for so long. wait... oh, son of a bitch, nevermind, I do.

*sigh*

it was Billdip.

DO NOT COME AFTER ME, I DON’T SHIP IT ANYMORE. haven’t for years. I was 12. but I loved Bill Cipher (still do, he's my funny meow meow blorbo <3) and was very upset when the finale happened even though I knew that was how it had to be. but every time Billdip art came across my screen, I saw cool art where he: # 1. was still around and # 2. was more often than not a pretty human / humanoid (this was at the height of his sexymanification). hell, I didn't even give a shit about Dipper honestly, I just wanted more Bill content. and again, being literally 12, I didn’t really stop to think abt any moral implications. but yeah.

(also nowadays I hc Bill as ace sooo)

Last Song: 'She Had The World' by Panic! very nice to sing to, it's right in my range <3

Last Movie: does ‘My Little Pony: A Very Minty Christmas’ count? it’s a childhood film and practically tradition for me to watch it every year for christmas lol. although this year I’ve been replaying it for... research purposes. yeah. totally not for a lethally cursed fanfic, no sir.

if that doesn’t count, then ‘The Lego Movie’!

Currently Reading: nothing atm!! even as my 'to read' pile gets taller by the day, hhhh

Currently Watching: Minty Christmas, again, but definitely not so I can copy the dialogue verbatim to use as the base for a coked-up christmas crack fic

Currently Consuming: soup <3

Currently Craving: instant ramen, good god, especially if it’s spicy. they have cups for sale in vending machines around campus but they’re all beef and chicken flavour :C

I won't tag anyone else in this because nine people is a lot; far too many to bother with this wall of personal nonsense shdhdj but thanks anyway for tagging me scrawny, my beloved mutual!!! <3

[princessdiariies]

manifestation, coincidences or delusion?

hello everyone, i apologize because english is not my first language so i'll probably make some mistakes, but i really need to vent and understand if everything that is happening actually makes sense or i am just a deluded person who watches too many movies.

long story short. a couple of years ago i lost my virginity to a random guy, he wasn't a complete stranger because he was a friend of a friend, but i had never really spoken to him directly before that moment. we were both virgins at the time and wanted to know what it felt like to have sex, so it seemed fun to be each other's first time and it happened - a little awkward, but overall normal, nothing out of the ordinary.

this would be the end of the story if it weren't for the fact that i haven't stopped thinking about him ever since. this guy is literally always on my mind and i haven't slept with anyone after him. i don't think about him in a sexual or romantic way, he's just always in the back of my mind and every time i go out i hope to run into him even though if i did i would probably just say hi BUT i never run into him even though we live in the same neighborhood and went to nearby schools until last year.

for two years i just thought i had a crush, or more realistically an attachment to him since i lost my virginity to him, after that i only saw him once at my friend's birthday, but we didn't talk; anyway i never told anyone about this situation and i always thought it was my problem, a one sided obsession. that was until some time ago.

my friend told me that a few weeks after we had sex he talked about me a lot with her (pretty normal for a teenager who just lost his virginity) and said several times that he wanted to meet up to talk, even though he never asked me directly, but told my friend as if he expected her to act as an intermediary. i only found out about this recently, also because you should know that my friend had a crush on him and they even dated for a while last year - it didn't work out, but they remained on good terms, i think she only told me about this now because she didn't want us to meet at the time she started dating him.

i know he's been asking about me for the past two years, but now i'm starting to think my friend has been hiding a lot of other times he's been asking about me (again, we live in the same neighborhood, go to the same places, but we NEVER run into each other). just last week he told my friend he wanted to meet up with me to chat.

now, i'm starting to think that i'm not the only one who's been thinking about the other constantly for two years, even though it all seems crazy to me because

1. he has a girlfriend,

2. i'm moving abroad for a year in less than a month

3. it can't be that because of a mediocre fuck he and i have formed such a strong bond, right?

and yet i have the feeling that if we met we could find an insane connection, i don't know how i can be sure, it's just a gut feeling. but i can't just ask him to meet up, i feel like i would be doing a disservice to my friend who had a crush on him (i want to clarify that when the guy and i had sex i had no idea she liked him), but if we met by chance it would be different and i wouldn't feel guilty for disrespecting my friend.

i think it's weird that we think about each other as often as i think we do and that even though we go to the same places we never met for two years. am i delusional or do you see a pattern too? tell me what you think.

[slimschance]

Wednesday - 29/05/24

7:10am

i feel so (emotionally) empty and dull wtf... i don't wanna cry or nothing i just wanna disappear with no disturbance, to be in full isolation with nothing but 4 walls

on the plus side, i put my hair in a really cute low bun, but i think it's falling out or moving bc it's getting looser and starting to pull now. for context i never do my hair, it pure hates me so i'd normally just detangle it and then leave as is.

7:23am

uno it's bad when your "me and who" pinterest board is just pictures of people being friends... so fucking disheartening to tell adults, both family and teachers, no, i won't enjoy my last day, or any days of school, nor my school holidays, because i have no friends. i do genuinely enjoy listening to their stories of them and their mates but they all refuse to listen one bit when i tell them i won't be enjoying mine. the teachers try and say shit like "of course you do (have friends)" and "i didn't have many friends either", yet go on to explain their friend group of 20+ people, their 3 best friends, all the parties they got invited to, their 2 different boyfriends and how they went to uni on the bank of mum and dad, making at least 20 more pals that they talk to weekly till this day.

literally my best and only pal is my 11y/o cousin and that doesn't even count for anything because we're related man. i used to be close with his sister, my 15y/o cousin but we just don't hang out at all like whatsoever, even at functions. i do love her sm still, i always make sure to buy her treats when shes on her period, check up on her when shes ill and ensure shes safe and happy. i'll also just gift her for no reason so she has higher standards for her future boyfriends, she really doesn't pick the thoughtful ones at all. either way, she's heavily motivated to do go on and make lots of money and go into further education, difficult jobs ect. so i don't worry too much, i know she has her head screwed on.

most of the time i have to pretend the concept of best friends is just a concept, simply a movie trope, to stop myself from breaking down. i full course envy every single person whos had a best friend, one that actually enjoys your company, even if that best friend doesn't reciprocate (as in count you as their best friend), i envy you 😭 i literally just long for someone who doesn't mind my company. not even someone who likes my company, just someone who tolerates it. how fucking sad is that

i genuinely don't think anyone at all classes me as a friend, and anyone who could be a friend has never wanted to talk outside of school despite having my snap, email and insta, and i know every last one of them has chat shit about me minimum twice, every single one. i've never harmed any of these people physically nor mentally, all my previous friends (not exactly a decent sample size, i can count them on my hands) that fucking hate my guts still admit i'm one of the kindest people they know and that i'm a great friend, supportive, useful and funny, it's literally because i'm unattractive and neurodivergent that people don't like me i swear down 😭 i asked someone to reword a sentence once and they gave me death stares for 2 years and still chat shit to this day bro. at least there was actual reason for this one i spose, usually it comes from fucking nowhere

anyway i've been writing too long its 7:58 now erm

10:52am

just finished watching the girl next door on netflix, i love this film 😭 shame it's leaving netflix early next month. they're a cute couple frl

7:00pm

i watched pretty woman like 6 hours ago, yet julia robert's smiles still got a hold on me bro. every time she smiled i smiled with her because her smile is that charming, gosh.

6:55am next day - summary

i didn't update but my nans seemingly safe after her surgery - we were all up nan's from 7ish and we watched BGT, me and my cousin played subway surfers, that fruit drop game and all sorts of the tile music games. he gave me a dead leg like five times from sitting lit on me though ahaha

mum told me if i wanted to go out in the week cah i've been pretty miserable, i could message my (other, not the one with surgery) nan or cousin, when i said "no, i have no energy to message someone and i don't wanna get shot down again" (i'm too sensitive to rejection, even from my nan who loves me like heck) she had a go at me. i'm sorry but almost everything is disappointing nowadays, i'm not gonna add to it unless you want me stepping off the 3rd floor by next week ffs.

anyway, i'm just glad and incredibly lucky to still have both my nans alive. thankful